Juicy Scoop with Heather McDonald - Jimmy Fallon, Ashton Kutcher, and Substance Recovery with Joshua Reed

Episode Date: September 12, 2023

Carl from Summer House has given a statement about ending his engagement with Lindsay. Jimmy Fallon’s employees have some shocking things to say about the work environment…why does this always seem to happen with talk shows? Ashton Kutcher is being criticized for his letter in support of Danny Masterson. Will Kevin Federline ask for more child support from Britney Spears? Then, I chatted with Joshua Reed, an expert in drug recovery and healing. He shares his own personal struggles with addiction in Hollywood, the potential limitations of traditional inpatient rehabs and AA, and how he’s helping people recover using his own creative approach. Vote For Juicy Scoop: realitytelevisionawards.com/vote Get extra juice on Patreon: patreon.com/juicyscoop Subscribe on Youtube: youtube.com/@JuicyScoop Follow me on Instagram: instagram.com/heathermcdonald Follow me on TikTok: tiktok.com/@heathermcdonald Follow me on Twitter: twitter.com/HeatherMcDonald Check Out Joshua’s Recovery Program: Website: breakthrough-recovery.com Instagram: instagram.com/breakthrough.recovery Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Heather McDonald has got the juices scoop When you're on the road, when you're on the go Juice is scoop is the show to know She talks Hollywood tales Her real life, Mr. Sanctuaryal Data And serial sister, you'll be addicted and addicted fast To the number one tabloid real life hot cat Listen in, listen up.

Woo, woo, and a McDonald. Juicy scoop. Hello and welcome to Juicy scoop. Guys, remember I'm coming to Sacramento, September 29th in San Francisco, September 30th for two live Juicy scoops. That's where the Juicy scoop is, the funniest stuff. And you go to Heather McDoll.net to get those tickets. You always go to Heather McDoll.net for

everything. Patreon, live tickets, all of it is there. Okay, let's talk about this Jimmy Fallon story that happened over the weekend. Different reports are coming out. Basically, a story was written by Rolling Stone and they interviewed all these current staffers. Now, the Jimmy Fallon tonight show has been un-hold because of the writer's strike, Sense May. So there has been all these months of the staff not getting together, maybe reflecting on their lives,

and then comes this Rolling Stone reporter saying, hey, we're talking to a bunch of other people and a bunch of other people that are remaining nameless. We are going to protect their name so they can remain anonymous. So nobody gets retaliated, of course, you don't want to bag on Jimmy Fallon and then hopefully come back soon when the strike is over

What do you think all these other people think it was awful? Was it harsh? Whatever and then these people are sitting at home and now they've had several months away from the daily grind of the show to kind of reflect on their Experience so I believe what they're saying is 100% true. I've worked on a late night show before, worked on take TV, and even though it's a comedy show and people are laughing so hard through most days, it is stressful.

The show has to get done. You have one day, you know, a few hours to do it, to tape it, and it's competitive, and there's a high turnover rate and yeah and when you're the showrunner or the writer or the star of it you're gonna have good days in bad and basically that's what they say that Jimmy had good days in bad it was like walking on HL some days you never knew which Jimmy you were gonna get and um he he sent hearing that the report was coming,

did like an emergency zoom where everybody got on and he profusely apologized. Part of the complaints was that it was really about this one show runner, this one particular woman, Jamie Grenette, Beatermann. Some of the comments about her was that she ruined people's careers that they left entertainment all together and they believed that he was compliant and

didn't stop the abuse that they got from her. I just really think this is a really hard thing to judge. Because it's such a coveted job and because you're so excited to finally get there, you do have a lot of stress and anxiety and it is really hard for people and they're not likely to quit because it's not like you can just pop over to another job and if you do quit the tonight show because you're like, well, I'm gonna quit because you're really stressing me out, Jimmy Fallon. But can you give me a recommendation so I can write jokes for Jimmy Kimmel?

I mean, it's not like there's 35 late night shows that you can go to, you know, or whatever your job is there. So that's where the stress is. And you know, you become friends and you're working with people, but you don't really know who your friend or your friend of me is. That is Hollywood.

That is why this honestly is not like an overly shocking story. It's, you know, we heard it about Ellen. We've heard it about other shows. Yeah, people, you know, when the time comes and they reflect back, they're like, this is what I loved about it. This is looking back. That was kind of effed up. I wish it was different. I wish I would have spoken up. Why didn't the boss realize that this was going on and,

you know, either reprimand that supervisor or, you know, or why didn't people stick up for each other because they were scared if they stuck up for this person who was being, you know, criticized whatever that their job would be in In jeopardy, honestly, even though it's Hollywood, I think it's probably something a lot of people could relate to in any kind of, you know, high powerful type of jobs or, you know, where there's a lot at stake and where they are, where they're coveted positions

and they're hard to replace. You know, but then the persona is someone being so happy and nice and funny and I'm sure they are. But even the happiest, funniest, sweetest, most generous comedian, you know, can not have a perfect day. And just like someone who has a non-high profile job may not have out perfect happy day, you know, saying that you're walking on eight shells. I don't know. I remember walking on eight shells sometimes in my own home with my parents or with certain jobs.

It just happens and it's unfortunate, but I think all of it's good. I predict that they'll come back after this writer strike. All these people that spoke negatively about it, hopefully they'll come back and they'll have a better perspective, he'll have a better perspective, and now that it's out there, maybe it'll even run better for another 10 years, I mean, hopefully that's the case. Only one current employee did say that it's such a stressful time in the entertainment

and street meeting the strike. I can understand how old experiences and grievances can bubble back up, but none of this sounds like the show that I've worked on for the past year give or take. That is like the only quote that I saw where someone was like, I don't hate it, I don't mind working there. But you know, it went on this other, part of the article said, you know, there were crying rooms, where they'd go into the talent dressing rooms,

so that they could shut the door and be alone when the talent wasn't there and cry and deal with the stress. And yeah, I think there is a lot of crying in entertainment. I do, whether it's on a TV show or after you leave an audition and get your car and cry, you're putting yourself out there. It's a different kind of industry than, you know, working in construction or whatever, you know, where I don't think someone's saying those type of things to you and I don't think it's someone that goes into being an engineer or something is a different type of person

than that goes in entertainment. So anyway, in summary, I'm just not surprised. It's happened. One of the incidents was from 2017 and they alleged that he might have been drinking that day or something. Jimmy found I don't know where he is with substance abuse or whatever, but those have always been rumors. Again, he's been off the air for a while. Hopefully everyone comes back and is funny and good. This was interesting. This came up.

This was Amy Polar in Tina Fey's book. Tina Fey has a great book if you have not read her autobiography. It's so good and it really is a lot about women and sticking up for yourselves and entertainment and also having her perspective at her age of like what we go through or went through and looking at it in today's lens of the way it is for women. And she said, and the story just mentioned Jimmy, but I don't really think it was about Jimmy, but they were at SNL and Amy Polar was new to the cast and she said some, you know, dirty joke or something

and Jimmy Fallon kind of scolded her for that joke and she rolled her seat over to him and she was like, I don't care what you think. I'm going to keep doing it. And the point of Tina writing about it was, yeah, we're not going to be scolded by these men or whatever. We're all on the same level. We're all working on the show together and she kind of nipped that in the butt. So pulling that story out now maybe looks like Jimmy a little negatively, but I think it was more giving props to Amy and letting and follow follow Amy steps if you're a woman and

nip it in the bud and say, right, then like, I don't give a shit. I'm here. I can say whatever joke I want to say, just like you can't and just because I'm a, like, I'm not going to be set to a different standard. So that was cool. All right. I haven't talked much about this, but Summer House, a very popular show on Bravo TV, obviously.

And Lindsay and Carl were a couple there. Summer House is a show where every summer, they took these like 20, 30 year olds and they would rent a summer house in the Hamptons and follow their lives. It's been many, many years. Couples have come, gone, broken up, hooked up. And Lindsay and Carl have been two of the originals. And it started that they were just platonic friends.

They had different boyfriends, girlfriends. And then they, all of a sudden announced they were in love and shortly after got engaged and their wedding was set for this November 17th and just two weeks ago Lindsey had posted photos from her bridal shower, garden theme bridal shower in which Carl showed up at the end like a lot of fiancees do with flowers and everything. Well, shortly after that is when the, it was announced that they are not getting married.

They have broken up and it was Carl who broke up with Lindsay. Now, it was filmed for the show, we know that. So this is very much Van der Pum, Scandival 2, and a lot of people wondering why. Why was the breakup? Was it because he was sober? And he wasn't, didn't think she was respecting his sobriety. You know, what was the reason? Was this even a real romance?

Was this all for the show because they were friends? He just wrote a letter to his friends and family in which I guess people got a hold of in which he apologized for it. He said, we will cover any expenses or costs that might, that any of the guests might have endured that they can't get back because of the, you know of the wedding

being a couple months. Really respectful, I feel horrible, to Lindsay, but still not really explaining why. So I'm sure we'll see on the show. But, you they still follow each other, neither of them deleted each other's photos from their Instagram. And I mean, I personally just think that, you know, marriage is real and I really think

something happened where you just have that moment when people call off weddings. Most people don't. Most people, the people I know that got divorced within like a couple years of their wedding. I would ask them and they're like, oh, I knew before I walked down the aisle. I knew. Why did you get married? I mean, I just, I figured it would get better. I thought I'd put the, you know, behind. So, I think, yeah, I mean, I think you really thought about it and was like, I don't want to spend the rest of my life with this person. I don't see this going, this is not what I want.

I don't want it for eternity. And I don't think it's right for me. And imagine anybody who ends a wedding early, whether it's Kim Kardashian, I mean Kim Kardashian before her 73 day wedding with Chris Humphries, her mom said, you don't have to do this. Chris said, you do not have to do this. I know we we've paid. I know the world is watching. I know we're filming it, but this doesn't seem right. Several people said it to her and she was like, no, no, it'll be right. You convinced yourself because you can't imagine

canceling something like this. Now just think of just a regular person canceling their wedding. Now you have all these public figures coming to your show. You have the whole bravo world watching, rooting you on, the show, all of it, and he chose to say no. I think it's juicy. I think it's sad, but I also think it's pretty admirable really not to just go through with it and be like, well, we can always get divorced because no, then you're wasting her time. She wants to have kids. So it always seems like though, people never call off the wedding,

but then stay dating. I mean, that'd be pretty weird if they, we're like, we just don't wanna get married, but we're gonna still be a couple. So I don't think there's still gonna be a couple, but there you go. Well, Danny Masterson has been sentenced to 30 years for sexual assault and he was part of that 70s show.

And there were three accusers, but he was convicted on two of the accusers and 15 years for each. And they are going to be consecutive, not concurrent. So meaning he has to do all the 30 years. But there were letters that were sent by his co-stars from that 70s show, Ashen Kutcher and his wife, Mela. And just saying, this is he was always a great friend and admirable to me and everything. And the internet did not like that. They were really disturbed that they would send out, that they would have these letters and they felt that it was not being supportive of sexual assault victims.

Then more stuff came out in which a lot of creators and his one of the her name is Chrissy Carnell Bixler. She was one of the accusers of Danny. She was a former girlfriend of his way back in 2001 when they were doing the show. And she's coming forward, you know, showing clips of Ashton with Mela when she was under age and putting a lot out there to make people question all of their involvement. And in the fact that there was a horrible crime

that happened with Ashton Kutcher. He was dating a girl who was killed. And he was part of that trial. And there are reports about like, did he do everything correctly on discovery of this of this woman that was killed? And does Danny Masterson have anything to do with it in Scientology, which Danny is one, and did Ashton do everything right?

So people are now getting into this and exploring it and being really critical, and would say I have every right to do. And it looks like Danny's probably Setting up to appeal as well. So we're gonna have to go through this again, but so that was Going on all this weekend as well This was interesting this is a clip from Conan O'Brien That page six pulled oh no, sorry New York Post pulled up

that page six pulled, oh no, sorry, New York Post pulled up, where he's on Conan and Danny Masterson says, oh, this guy does an impression of me and he says, I'm Danny Masterson, touch my balls. And Conan's like, really, that's the impression. I think you're gonna get caught one day, you know, and then there was a little thing like, wow, Conan did one time right for the Simpsons, and you know how everybody thinks that the Simpsons

predict the future of the world and pop culture. Just interesting, that all these things are resurfacing, whether they're clips, whether they're meaningless, you know, meaningless things are not, they're being resurfaced, thanks to the internet, and thanks to different creators and people are examining them. So Ash and En Miele did make a statement saying we support the victims.

We were just asked to speak on our friend and our experience with our friend Danny was this and that's what we wrote about and nothing else. So, there you go. This is going on, okay. So this Spanish soccer president, Luis Rubelas, I know I'm saying it wrong, he, the team won, the female soccer team one, and as they were going through,

and you know, with the coaches and everything, he took this one girl, and he kissed her, really, he hugged her, and he kissed her on the face like, blah! And people right away were like, we don't think this is cool. And so now, he is maintaining his innocence. He has resigned from his position, but he is set to stand trial and by Spanish prosecutors are taking him to court. And if he's convicted, he could face a fine of up to four years in

prison. So, he's saying it was a consensual kiss, but Jennifer, the woman that he kissed, is saying no. I think this is like really, it's really interesting, because it's not in America and the stand that they're taking and I think she has every right to be like, no, I didn't like it.

It did freak me out. There's a lot of things as women that happen. I just mentioned one with Amy Polar where you're like, no, that was wrong or maybe you look back and you didn't say anything about it. You know, I was just speaking to my sister and she said, you know, one time many years ago, another attorney when she was in court, somehow she must have mentioned she went to Catholic School or something and he said, oh, I'd like to see you in your Catholic School uniform. And she's like, co-counsel or something. And an adult and married.

I don't want it. And she's like, haha, and just continues. But now it looks back at that. It was like, that was really fucking gross and inappropriate. And so I think it's really, I think this is good. I don't think this guy deserves four years in prison in my personal opinion. Probably resigning is the right thing to do. This message is brought to you by Colorguard.

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bowel disease, and certain hereditary syndromes, or personal or family history of colorectal cancer. Paul's positive and negative results may occur. Any positive result should be followed by a colonoscopy, not a replacement for colonoscopy in high-risk patients. This is After Dark, myths, misdeeds, and the paranormal. The podcast that takes you to the shadest corners of the past, unpicking history's spookiest, strangest, and most sinister stories. I'm Maddie Pelling, and I'm Anthony Delaney. Join us every Monday and Thursday

and we'll take a look at the darker side of history from haunted pubs to Houdini, to witch trials and arsenic-laced breakfasts. Follow after dark myths, misdeeds and the paranormal wherever you get your podcasts. Brought to you by History Hit. At Public Mobile we do things differently. From our subscription phone plans to throwing a big sale right now when no one else is. At public mobile, we do things differently. From our subscription phone plans to throwing a big sale right now when no one else is. Well, maybe they are, but who cares, our sale is better. And it's on right now, no waiting necessary. You have the latest phone, now take advantage of a great price on a 5G subscription phone

plan. It's the perfect deal for anyone who could use some savings right now. Subscribe today at publicmobile.ca. Different is calling. Okay, this I'm super excited about you guys. A juicy scoopers sentence to me. Netflix is, I guess this was revealed in Sundance. It is gonna be on Netflix and it is called May December and it is about Mary Kay Laterno, the most famous teacher who not only dated her male student who was 13 at the time, but got impregnated by him,

went to prison, got out of prison, and got pregnant again by him, and then went back to prison for seven years, then got out of prison while his mom raised the two daughters, and he was just a teenager, and then they got married and raised their kids together until she passed away a couple years ago of cancer. They are doing a movie about this on Netflix and Julianne Moore plays the teacher and Natalie Portman plays the woman who is going to be playing her in the movie version. So she goes and interviews her and everything.

Oh my God, I cannot wait for this. When is it coming out? I don't know. Can't come out soon enough for me. This is one of those juicy crime type of stories that I've just been fascinated with and um... and that that's happening

okay uh... kevin federal line is according to tmd possibly may seek more child support from britney because the older boy is going to be eighteen and the younger one won't be eighteen till i think june of twenty twenty five and because he has he has them full time, the 40,000 a month was based on them splitting the time. But now that he has them full time, he may seek more child support from her. Unfortunately, she really is not spending any time, certainly no sleepovers or anything. And I think it's been a long time since she's seen him. And I believe he

moved to Hawaii with them. And she is continuing the Brown pumps her back. And she's doing some really kind of crazy dances to Madonna's song, I'm addicted. And Madonna has said that she, you know, wants her to come on tour with her. She is going through a divorce. She was seen in Mexico at a bar out in public and people filming her in her red dress and white boots and sunglasses just looking like she was having fun. So we'll see, like I said, I cannot wait to read the book. Bianca Kanye's wife, they are saying now that her allegedly her loved ones cannot get a hold of her. They're not in contact with her. They are concerned. The

latest outfit, she's still in Italy. She's wearing the nylon's, you know, from the egg, the legs egg, from that you would get, and she pulls it all the way up to her boobs, and then is now holding a purple velvet pillow from like your grandma's couch, walking around Italy like that in a pair of loose-site shoes. And that's what she's doing. I don't understand it. I worry for this girl more than anything. The Kardashian clan is not commenting, staying out of it. They're probably just glad that he's in another country and they're not showing up like that for St. Soccer game in hand-hills.

I don't know, but I would, like I've said, I'd be very concerned if this, what, unless this girl, the only thing that would make me feel better is if I was friends with this girl or was her sister and she was calling me and being like, oh my god, did you see me with a pillow? Are you dying? I am loving all the press I'm getting. No, we have a whole big plan. Sis, don't worry about, I'm coming out with a, we're bringing back new Nylon's for one. And they're gonna be all the rage and I have a stake in it.

I have 51% of the new Nylon Kanye line and I'm so excited and I only have to walk around in these weird outfits for like another three weeks. And then I'm coming back to LA girl. We are going out to dinner and you're going to see this whole plan worked out. Do not worry about me. That would be the only way.

I think anyone in her family or friends could not be overly concerned with what the hell is happening here. I want to talk about Real Housewives of, because even if you didn't watch it, something kind of crazy juicy happened. There's this girl drew on it. She actually was in white chicks. She's an actress and she is a singer. And she was kind of like, didn't have much going on

in the first couple of seasons. I believe this is her third season. She's had issues with her husband Ralph and they share one child together and then she has another child from a previous marriage. And she wanted him to adopt that child and he didn't and that bothered her because he said, well, the dad's already involved, but Ralph seems real thirsty. And Iker gets revealed on the reunion that their separator getting divorced and Drew goes, you've cheated on me for years. You've got all these other women. Here is a screen grab from this woman who has a photo of her sexy ass or whatever.

And it says says I can't when are you gonna bring that D over to me and it went to Ralph her husband and now she has it and he's like that's a catfish that is a catfish I don't know who that person is I don't know what this is and a lot of people are like oh my God Ralph you're lying you're lying but I but I'm like, you know what? You know, is he faithful likely? Probably not, but could people do this? Could people send stuff like that to these reality stars that they're so invested in their life and Like DM Drew and be like my friend is dating Ralph. Here's the proof from My friend is dating Ralph. Here's the proof from when she texted him.

And now she has this. Like where is this real woman? Where is, you know, them in a hotel room together, like when Ashley Darby, we saw the photos of her man with someone from Potomac. I don't know, but he's sitting there. She gets up and gets upset. He just sits there. Then we find out that he's trying to be on like thunder down under in Las Vegas. So I just think he's

a real thirsty dude. And then and he's producing her music. And then after she's crying her eyes out that the marriage is over that he's a cheater that he's humiliating her on TV, gas lining or saying like, you're having a lesbian affair and she's like, no, I'm not. You're the one who's cheated on me with all these women all these years. She comes back and she's like,

but before we end the three-part reunion, I'm gonna sing my song that Ralph, I think, produced. And she stands up. She's like, whoa, whoa, whoa. You didn't want to help me. You didn't want to keep a family together. You left the counseling. And she's singing why he's sitting there.

And I am like, I don't even know what I'm watching right now. Like, I don't know if this is the most real thing or the fakers thing I have ever seen. And our Drew and Ralph actually in on this to get this song to the top. And, or I mean, maybe they aren't in love, but maybe they're friends, maybe they're friends and business partners, and they're like, look, let it flow, be bad at me, but then you're going to come out here and you're just seeing this song like you can because then he goes, Drew's

a great talent. I've always known that. I'm really excited for her singing her. As she standing, it was honestly, it was pretty weird and I'm surprised where people are not thinking that they're like in cahoots she and Ralph but you know she's on the show for next season that's for sure I'd be shocked if they if they gave her the boot and meanwhile this is Drew I'm sorry this is Ralph and Drew's sister yelling at this other girl Courtney and Courtney came on the show as as Ralph Rose cousin to just like literally say all these awful things about Drew and I'm like is Drew part of it like

It's very much the way people thought like it was sand of all is that was that you know planned or whatever Or is Carl and Lindsey plan. I don't know Sit back and enjoy because I there is some messiness happening and lives are being destroyed and marriages are being destroyed more than I've ever seen in the franchises in general, like really, quite honestly, but it's pretty juicy. Oh, speaking of Santa Bob, the rumor is that, you know how shorts and sandy complained about their partner who Greg, something who is their partner at shorts and sandies. Supposedly, he has not allowed any filming at the restaurant, which I'm shocked by why

he wouldn't want that kind of advertising, but he rumor is that he said no and he doesn't want sandable there and he wants like sandable out of the business. I don't know why you would do that. I mean, listen, people are already over it. He's already been seen with several different girls. It seems like people are going there. But I don't know. I mean, if I had a restaurant that was based on Vanopump rules, I would want the film to be there. But that's the rumor that he doesn't want the film to be there.

Amy Schumer got in trouble because she did a post and she took a, used one of the photos of Nicole Kidman like sitting like, she's just sitting like this, watching the US open and Amy wrote, this is how humans sit. She had to take it down, people thought she was bullying. And I don't know, it's kind of a weird time like where you're a comedian and, you know,

but you're a high profile comedian like Amy. And you just thought that was funny. Like we used to make fun of celebrities. And we used to like, you know, that's what we would do on these late night shows and everything that we don't see anymore. And we certainly used to do it. And my day of Chelsea lately,

a lot more than people do now. And, you know, she is so perfect and everything. So I think she was just kind of mocking the fact that also when you, I will say, when you are a certain age, it is kind of nice to go like this because then you cover your neck and you know that the cameras are on you while you're watching the tennis. So you're just like this and she just called, kind of called her out on it. But then people examine it and they're like, well, you're watching the tennis. So you're just like this. And she just called, kind of called her out on it, but then people examine it and they're like, well, you're a really famous Amy and so is she.

So why are you calling this other woman out that isn't like so much a hat above you? Like you're almost like Amy's too good to be doing that. Which maybe Amy realizes, oh, I guess I can't make jokes about these people anymore. Oh well, fine. She probably won't after this. She's probably like, oh, I guess I can't make jokes about these people anymore. Oh well, fine. She probably won't after this. She's probably like, oh fuck it.

You know, I thought I was coming up with a funny joke and throwing something up for someone's amusement. I don't need to do these jokes. Like, I don't need this kind of shit. You can just come see my show and see me live. Like, I'm not making money off a post about Nicole Kidman. Uh, Kim and Kroy, they're back together. off a post about Nicole Kidman. Kim and Kroy, they're back together.

This is like, they filed down twice and now they're back together. And this is like the David Bedore situation where he keeps breaking up with Leslie Bedore, but then they're back together. I just got a report that they were out having dinner, looking miserable, you know, who knows and who cares? But these people, you know, they got to live together. And then Elon Musk had his third baby with Grimes, and it's called techno. Whatever. All right, you guys. I'm excited to tell you about a really interesting interview I have. And it's kind of a different way of approaching addiction and people that have addictions and all like the spectrum of it. And I thought it was really interesting.

My friend Joshua was concept and his business and I wanted to share it with you and his story being that he comes from a celebrity background and how he recovered and what he's doing to help others. And now for this interview, I have a very juicy interview right here saying in front of me, Joshua Reed, welcome to juicy scoop. You have some, you have a story, you have plenty stories to tell from fashion to celebrities to drug, and what is going on with celebrities, and welcome good to have you here. I'm so happy to be here.

I'm so happy to be here. Good. I'm a fan. Oh, thank you. I've never watched, but I listen. Oh, that's okay. And when the housewives come on, I just, I listen anyway, but I don't know any housewives at all.

I actually went to stay in Vegas. I went out and stayed with Jill Zaren with the front of mine. And Jill said to me, you don't know who I am, do you? And I said, no, and she said, you're lying. Are you gay? And I said, yeah, she goes, she goes to me, you're lying. And I was dead serious. I had no idea who she was. I don't know who any housewives are. I've never watched an episode. I'm very close to Jill Zaren, and I'm sure that probably ruined her weekend. She was really sweet. She was with her husband. She was with her husband at the time.

Bobby. He passed away, right? Yes. Yeah. He was a sweetheart. He would do Vegas a lot. They were. Yeah.

They were really very, very nice. Well, we know each other through, wait, I'm just going to say how we know each other. We know each other with my friend who's sitting here. In the studio audience of one, we have George Perez. I like to call him Jorge. I call him George. Well, I was introduced to you as Jorge.

So I don't call him George. Yeah, it touches around. It touches around a lot. And he represented and represents photographers and all this stuff. And that's how I met you. And I went to this party for the Gents

Um, we were launching with kits and it was a retail launch. Yes. Yeah, so I remember I remember going to that party That was a fun party. We also I remember specifically meeting in his kitchen I think we went out to dinner. But I don't think you remember that. No, I do. I remember going to like a cool Like West Hollywood. Right. That's what we did. A part of a condo party. Yeah. That's all I remember being in the kitchen. You know, times are foggy for me to back then. Yes. And let's let's get into a little bit about your life. You had mentioned you got started a long time ago and you at Calvin Klein and you took over Carolyn Bessette's job. So Carolyn started the job, she was working out of the store and it morphed into a corporate

job celebrity director. There was somebody in between me and her and other girl that had a job. She started trusting me to do these fittings with celebrities and my boss noticed and then he promoted me to celebrity director on the men's side. So there was someone else to handle it for the women's, but I would do all the men's fittings, all the celebrity partnerships, traveling with the talent, for the underwear campaigns, going to Milan for the shows, events,

all the dressing red carpet dressing coming to LA for a few months during award season, dressing all the celebrities on the men's side. Right. And so you were saying one of the things that you did that kind of like really kind of changed fashion and Opportunity is since this is New York fashion week and we're seeing all the stars there something you did was

Getting these high profile men who are into fashion getting them in the fashion At the fashion show sitting in the front row. Yeah, so my my job was very niche like I said It was it was the men's side of the whole business of Calvin Klein globally. So I just, you were seeing, you know, all the women's runway shows that had all talent, celebrities, whatever you want to call them. No one was really doing on the men's side.

So we did a men's show. I talked to my boss, I told him I wanted to load it with talent that I really respected, that represented the brand. I hand picked everyone. We did it. And yeah, since then people commented me all the time that work at different fashion houses and say,

I had that on my bulletin board. We did that. Now it's really common. Yeah. That's really cool. Yeah, so this was one. And here you have, look at all these different. Jared.

Yeah. And what year is this around? So two thought it was probably 2009. I started in 2007, got the promoted to the Celebrity Drop 2009, two years in. Right. So, I would say around 2009. Jared, Chase, Ryan, Philobie, Kellen, Lutz, who was in the underwear campaign

at the time, and he was in Twilight at the time, who's huge. So, now, I wanna talk to you a little bit about, because then you, in all these, you, let's just go back to these hot guys. So now let's talk about the journey that you've taken, your struggles, that you're managed to have all these jobs and all these things, but you also became addicted

to prescription drugs and everything. And I just kind of want to hear how that happened. Like, were you, you know, there's so many, everybody has a different story. So what, just tell me what is your story? Like, as a kid, when was your first time you had a sip of alcohol? Or a 15.

I was in the closet, so I was gay. I remember feeling like a relief, a relief in my head of kind of what was weighing over me a lot. But it wasn't like I had an alcohol sip alcohol, that was it. I loved alcohol. Alcohol really for me was never kind of went along with things. Right. And in hand, but it wasn't really the problem. Right.

But yeah, I did. I think I did, you know, drugs very socially, casually growing up and then in college. And what were the drugs you did growing up in high school in college? In high school. Yeah, sorry, keep thinking about it. In high school, pot, pot, acid once, that's it.

Pills, like Xanax, that was common in the high school. And where would people get those? God, I have no idea. Someone just brings them to the party. And you'd mix the Xanax with alcohol or whatever. Oh, yeah, for some reason. And what kind of hide gives you that? What is that?

X-Rilox. Okay. You know, what Xanax does for you in 10 seconds. I don't know how to ever have Xanax. You never had Xanax. No, no? X-Rilox. Okay. You know, what a X-Rilox does for you in 10 seconds. I don't know how to ever how to X-Rilox. You never had a X-Rilox. No, never. Just relaxes you. Okay.

Yeah. And so then, okay, so then you're starting to work in fashion and stuff. And at that point, you're still just a social part here. So I did, I think. I see socially in college for sure. Yeah. Maybe X-Rilox would have ever been happen, but everything, you know, it was just totally on a social level. socially in college for sure. Yeah. But maybe as annexed, whatever would happen. But everything, you know, it was just totally

on a social level. It was never problematic. From 20 to 27, I had two boyfriends back to back. We never used any drugs. Ever. Never, and then drank socially. That's it. I can't even, not even like, at home. I think

it was just when we went out. Yeah. Um, then, yeah, and then I started using cocaine at like 27. And how did that happen? Someone offered to me. I had never done it, which was kind of, uh, it was, yeah. I was 27. Most of my friends had done that before. I would think being gay, fashion, New York, you, if it was, must have been offered to you prior to that, no? I think so, and I just never, and I never, I think I'm gonna try to do in college or something, but just really overall, never did it. Okay.

Yeah, never wanted to do it. And so then what happened when you started doing it? I liked it. And what did you like about it? Um, you know, as I'm learning now, there's such a deeper reason why I was liking it. But at that time, you know, which I think it starts that way, it was just fun. And made everything a little more interesting.

It was, I was able to focus more, a higher, bigger sense of confidence, you know, almost to a level where it was an unrealistic level of confidence at some points. Yeah. Yeah. Everyone wondered how Dixon City Comptroller Rita Crendwell could afford so many horses.

The rumor we had that she had befriended some rich little old lady and she had left her a lot of money. Somebody thought that her family had bought stock and Campbell's soup. I had heard something new was like a cell phone company, like every time that cell phone rang, like she made money. Like any cell phone? Kind of, yeah. I know it sounds ridiculous.

To find out the truth, listen, to Crooked City, Dixon, Illinois, wherever you get your podcasts. Um, you know, Bradley Cooper is sober and you had a you mentioned him. Well, I just remember we took him to the CFDA Awards. What does that stand for? A council of fashion designers of America. So that's kind of like the Oscars of fashion. Right.

Every fashion house will usually bring some talent with them. Okay, so you take him to the fashion awards and you go to a party after You told me who sober we brought him to the party after and he he wanted me to really quickly walk around the party Say hi to everyone and then he wanted to go That's what I do now sober. It's and I think back to that because it's just like you kind of you really don't There's no need for any more time sometimes than that. You know when you're socializing. Yeah, and that's just, that's what I do now. It's like, well, I'll have a dinner or whatever,

but then it's like, hi, do the rounds, and I'm outta here. And I remember that. I mean, that was, you know, it took me 15 years later to get there, but it was just something I remember. There was a movie that he did that I think is so good that I don't think it really got the love that it should have. But for me, I thought it was fabulous. And I don't know if he was a producer on it or what.

But it was called, I think it was called Limitless, Bradley Cooper. With the fake pill. And it was a fake pill. And it's like, he's this, I could just relate to, he was an aspiring writer. And but like, he wasn't being being creative or motivated and he gets this pill, which it could be like an Adderall or something. But all of a sudden, he, in the movie, which is fictional, he, it starts to, you know,

cleans up his place and he sells a book and he gets it and everything is great and he looks great. It's a better dresser and he has limitless energy, limitless creativity. And then of course, kind of like this other book that I remember from my childhood, I think it was called Flowers for Al Junon, but it was about how like they did this testing on this rat and they realized, oh, it made the pill made the rat so much smarter. And then they check back with the rat and now it starts getting like dumber and you can go through the maze. And so in the movie, then it, he realizes it starts having some adverse effect on people like in other ways.

So it doesn't work forever. And I, I wondered if by any chance, if you do and maybe don't, like, did he choose that script because he was sober? Because it really is kind of a story of where you think something can be so great at first, whether it's cocaine or maybe recreational adorol and you don't really need it or whatever it is. Because you're like, oh, or maybe you're shy

and all of a sudden you drink alcohol and you're more social and so you're making connections and then it has that adverse effect. It's a really good movie. I mean, that's a really good parallel for drugs in general. I saw the movie. I'm getting to choose it because he's sober. I don't know.

I think I'm kind of interested to see which came first because, you know what I mean, I feel like the script must have spoken to. I may be hung out with him one more time since then. Yeah. So I don't know, but I think probably from what I read and follow that sobriety plays a role in every choice he makes. Yeah. His sobriety.

Right. And right now he's supposedly connecting with his, the mother of his child. There's photos of them. I wrink. I wrink. I wrink. I wrink. I wrink.

I wrink. What, you know what, what's your last name? Her last shake. That's why it's shake have a really good idea. I mean, I think I have a really good idea. I mean, I think I have a really good idea. I mean, I think I have a really good idea. I mean, I think I have a really good idea. I mean, I think I have a really good idea. I mean, I think I have a really good idea. I mean, I think I have a really good idea. I mean, I think I have a really good idea. I mean, I think I have a really good idea.

I mean, I think I have a really good idea. I mean, I think I have a really good idea. I mean, I think I have a really good idea. I mean it's what you got as you. Yeah. So okay, so you start doing dabbling in some Coke. Socially, weekends at night, completely not not anything that was a habit or anything that was concerned. Were you starting to buy it yourself? I always wonder when does it come from going to a party and someone being like, Hey, you want a lot? Yeah, a couple years. Couple years. Couple years. Can I get the number of just a couple years in? I just

wouldn't want to ask anyone, you know? So yeah, probably I probably like a year or two in. Yep. Yes. And does that feel was that ever a concern that you're like now I'm buying it? Okay. I was not concerned at all. All right. And then toward the end of my time at Calvin Klein, it was still weekends or event nights. It was getting a little heavy. It was a little concerned. And it was in New York and New York was just getting a lot for me.

And I just thought it was a time to get out of New York. And that's when I went to LA. Okay, so you decide, you know, maybe this is getting crazy Let me go to LA and then you were saying you've got a job as an agent Right, so it was a smaller agency and what I really wanted to do was kind of use that as a springboard and kind of go Because I was working with talent, you know, it's a very particular job. I was really good at it It's a certain person that that can have that job You really have to be a certain person to to carry that job. You really have to be a certain person

to carry a job with talent, be private, make them comfortable. So I was doing, so yeah, I took it as a smaller agency and then my goal was to do go to a CAA or a bigger agency like that. I ended up doing it for a year and what I did was I started having visions of having my own brand,

which I, this is what I ultimately left being an agent to do. And that was the Gents. That was Gents. And then, okay, and then we had all these celebrities. So, yeah, I'm starting. That are wearing your Gents hats. I'm starting thanks to Jorge to practice laws of attraction. Yes. Okay. Abraham Hicks, who's getting me to,

I started just envisioning, everything I learned at Calvin Klein, but I was working for 10 years before Calvin Klein in fashion at PR agencies and David, you're in my network. So I started having this vision of creating and building my own brand. I knew I wasn't a designer, but I knew I had an aesthetic and there was basically, I saw a really big hole in the market.

You remember Vaughan Dutch and Ed Hardy? Yes, yeah. So, they were huge. They were baseball hats. I had a vision, they went out of business. I had a vision of creating a brand that would launch on luxury baseball caps. It was the opposite of a aesthetic.

Right. So, really simple, beautiful materials. I mean, our best seller was a plain black hat I call the director's hat. That's it. That's all it was there. Yeah. Or they had really iconic imagery that was, you know, just very classic. It was, you know, my aesthetic was really in line and trained from Calvin Klein. I mean, part of why I got that job was a fit with me personally in my aesthetic. So, so this starts doing well and then when do you start doing really well?

When does your trouble start happening? So, it really also happening, I think I always suffer with anxiety, which I think probably so many people that are listening to this will relate to. So I went to a doctor, which was kind of like, oh, sorry, that's kind of kind of like a pharmacologist. Okay. I recommend to the doctor. I went in, it was a waiting room. There was like 20 people waiting. He saw me, sat down, it's going on. Oh, I'm a little anxious. I mean, I couldn't have been more of a one or two sentence conversation.

He prescribed me 90 colonopin, 92 milligram colonopin, though three a day. Okay, that sounds like a lot. It's a lot. Okay. And I think it was 90 out of all, maybe like 20 milligram pills. Colonopin is a benzodiazepine. So it's in a class of drugs with Adivane, Xanax. I didn't know what a benzodiazepine was.

I think I said maybe I've taken Xanax casually socially, but I started taking them as prescribed. It was very helpful at first. What I wasn't doing, what I looked back now is I don't think if I was an addict, I would have maybe done proper research or would have gotten maybe so dependent upon the drug, but that's kind of when everything started,

was that visit to the doctor. But it took about two years. I would take the ador was really helping me work. I have really bad ADHD, so it really helped with focus. I think it got problematic pretty fast, and I think people around me were noticing the company was really, really moving fast. It was really exploding. We got really big funding from JP reps.

So now you had to wait, so you got the clonipin, which is gonna help you with anxiety. But then you have Adderall that's gonna, I would think make you anxious. It's just the perfect combination. You just never come down. It was like up all day, clonipins go back to bed,

Adderall to get up. Wow. Right. And then did you have to ever up your, so then do you have to up your your, so then you have to up your toes. I never up the dose, but he, he didn't, he only had to see me like every few months, he was just automatic refills. But then I was noticing I needed more of the con and pin not even to feel

relaxed, just to feel normal, just to be back to myself before. Mm. Um, so I think, and then if I was, and then what about weight, did you lose weight? Because you lose weight? A lot. Because you're never like hungry if you're doing all this. Wasn't eating a lot. People were definitely concerned.

Yeah, I was, I was mish-yated. Oh, wow. You can see it in pictures. It's all over. Yeah. So, wait, so then what happens? So you're still doing your business. So it all hit to a head.

I went to New York for Gensers. Yeah. I left my backpack with the colonipin in it in the lobby of a friend's building. Let's go get someone to eat. I think it was on camera, so the guy watching the bags, how his friends come and steal it. So the colon opinion gets stolen. No big deal. The doctor never, I really didn't know that was a big deal. I was even taking them to be honest.

They get stolen. I slowly just get deathly, deathly ill every day worse, like an enormous, enormous amount of... Because you didn't have it, so you're withdrawing. I was withdrawing. You can't stop benzodiazepines like that. I stopped them cold turkey and at by that point, I don't know if I was

between taking them as prescribed and then if I would party or something, you abusing them more. Yeah, party meaning like drinking. No, if I'd go, yeah, if I'd did coke or something to come down. So I could have been taking toward the end, maybe five or 10 a day.

Oh my God. Yeah. Stopped a cold turkey was in New York. It takes three days to leave your system So I was good for three days. I got through New York came back to LA Couldn't move on the couch freaking out. Everything was scary. The mailman was approaching I was freaking out my boyfriend was there. He didn't know what to do that turned into Really really really getting really sick blacking out for long periods, which was now I know I was having seizures.

I got myself up to a doctor, to my regular doctor. She fell back when she saw me, because I was so emaciated, my whole face was breaking out. So I was, I wasn't ever a big drinker, but during this time when I was feeling so sick, I wasn't ever a big drinker, but during this time when I was feeling so sick, I'd be like, let me have a glass of wine. It would hit the same receptors that would be for the clonipin. So I would feel better. My body was thinking,

oh, I got, I got the benzo that I was up in back. One to two hours, 50 times worse. I was just making it worse. So I was broken out from drinking, and this isn't drinking just to have fun or whatever. I would drink because I was suffering so bad from the side effects that it would help relieve the symptoms, but I was just making it worse. Went to the doctor, she said, I don't know what's wrong with you.

I'm really, really concerned. I said, well, I'm here. Can you refill me with clonipin? She said, who's giving you clonipin? Said some doctor on Wilshire. Okay, she left the office. She comes back in with the nurse, honey. That's how she talks.

You're having Benzo withdrawal syndrome. You're gonna be very sick. You have to go to a rehab. This is what I said to our I remember perfectly a rehab. I don't have I've never have or have any problem with drinking or drugs and I and I really didn't. Okay. Yet I was getting addicted to this medicine prescribed. So it was my fault. I was taking more, but it wasn't a concern, but she said, the only ones that are going to be able to treat you. You can't go to a doctor. So the next day, my boyfriend at the time, he took me to some place in Tarzanah.

Is that a city? Yes. That's right. I mean, people were walking into walls. They didn't ask me what I was on. They were like, you'll have a bed. You'll take these medications. Now, when you go in there, what is the payment? Is this free? Is this your insurance? So I was so sick. I wasn't able to even, my head was such mush

because the Benzerazapine, when you're withdrawing from that, you're losing your mind basically. This is a deeper and separate conversation, but I wasn't even able to compute that. I guess he took me to a place that took my insurance. Okay. It was, I literally sat there. I just said, do you want to even know

what they didn't care what I was on? Okay. Someone was there, a bell rang. I don't know whether even Matt someone walked directly into the, it was like one flood of the cook's nest. I ran out, told my boyfriend at the time, I said, get me out of here. So you didn't even stay a day. No, no,

we didn't stay an hour. Okay. As I must stay here. Okay. And kidding. He took me to another place. It was called the Hills. Okay. What in West Hollywood? Okay. It was rock hot Hudson's old house. All right. I was like, I can, I can stay here. So they were like, it's $80,000 for the month. We talked about what I was doing. Well, did your insurance cover any of the data? No, no, no. This is where they get shady because they'll tell you, well, we'll build your insurance and it's additional 80.

Now, you don't know if your insurance paying them 30,000 or 10,000. It's, that's a shady business in itself and that's kind of my business what I do now. It's kind of protect people from that. Okay, so to sum up the long story, I state they said it was $80,000 for the month. I said I can put 20,000 on my MX. This is that we'll take you for a week. We'll start detoxing you, but you need like three solid months. I couldn't even compute it and that's all I had. So the minute I left there after that week,

I just got worse and worse and worse. But I never took another benzodiazepine. I didn't, I didn't, when they told me that's what was making me sick, I didn't, I didn't. Did you take anything else? I would drink alcohol to relieve the symptoms. But when I started realizing that alcohol was making worse, or they told me,

I stopped with the alcohol too. And then is that how, so you kind of cured yourself? Or are you doing it? No, I was sick for like two years. Sick, when you say sick, just like physically sick from because this was still in your system, or I'm confused.

Yeah, well it's a confusing topic. Yeah. I don't think anyone around me really does still understand it and they don't really need to. But basically, let me stop for one second so I can have my thoughts on this. Because then this is confusing, I know. I guess so, I guess.

So the way, yeah, I stopped so cold turkey and not weaning off that I put my body into basically what they call a benzol withdrawal syndrome. You can even look it up. It says all the symptoms there or whatever, but it lasted for basically two years, but in that time, I would drink from, I would drink, I'm trying to think of, because I know I didn't drink the whole time in the rehab, but then I would drink, I'm trying to think of, because I know I didn't drink the whole time in the rehab, but then I would drink sometimes,

it would be so intense in the middle of the night, I would honestly take like vodka and drink it and then it would just be 50 times worse. So I was making it worse, so it didn't need to last that long, but I had really no one advising me. And were you able to still work during this time? Are you being creative? Are you working?

Yeah, so I was, it was really, really difficult. I had a partner, a lot fell on him, way too much. I had another woman running the business. But yeah, I was, no, I wasn't able to go to work a lot of days. Yeah. So, but you're able to keep your boyfriend? I think that'd be very hard. It was very hard for everybody.

It was really hard for him. This is hard. So basically when I went for the 10 days, I left, I was sick like really bad like they said for four months. And you left after the 10 days because that's all you could afford? That's all I could afford.

And I wish they would have explained to me more, but I wasn't such a, my brain was such a mush. I had been comprehending. Four months later, I called them, they said, we'll take you back for free. Okay. This was a place called the Hills. It was in West Hollywood.

Do you recommend it? It's closed down now. Okay. Yeah, it was great. It was really great. Why did it close down then? You know, I don't know. I don't know, I just heard it close great. It was really great. Why did it close down then? You know, I don't know. I don't know, I just heard it close down.

Yeah. I don't know why. I'm trying to think of the last guy, his guy named Howard. He's really, really big in the rehab and recovery space. I can't think of his last name though. They took me back for free. I did a month there. They got me really, really

straightened out. They had to put me on another medication to get my body back and to be able to handle kind of the detox from the benzos. They had to take me off that. That was another nightmare. I mean, it was just, it was a mess, but I got out of there. I stayed sober for two months, and then I just went fully back to my normal life of drinking socially, maybe using cocaine socially. So do you do that now? No, no, I'm completely sober. So then what happened then?

And when did you decide I can't have anything? Cause there is like, oh, I've talked about this like with Dr. Drew and stuff. There is like that feeling of like, you know, just because you were addicted to cocaine or pills or whatever, then you will completely sober. But then a couple years later, people are feeling, oh, I can be California sober or I can have a joint here there. I can have a glass of wine here there because I never had a problem with marijuana or alcohol.

And I do think maybe, you know, that it could be different for other people because if it was like a pain addiction, like a pain-pel addiction, and then you get over that, you know, a couple of years later, why couldn't you have a glass of wine? I don't know that maybe I can have a glass of wine, maybe I could, I just, I'm at a place where,

no, for you, I'm just saying, like, I think, because we've, you know, like with a whole AA thing, yeah, you know, when started whatever was in the thirties or the forties of like, you know, you have to, you know, you can never have another sip of alcohol again, whatever, no, even if that wasn't your issue, even though it's called alcohol anonymous. 100%. And now people are kind of like, whatever, even if that wasn't your issue, even though it's called alcohol

anonymous. And now people are kind of like, well, and we discussed before the show that you have some thoughts about it, and that maybe it really, the principles don't totally apply to today for everyone. And so let's talk a little bit about that. So I, yeah, for me, basically it's just where it went. It's just escalated for me. The cocaine just then did become a problem. And it went, I'm trying to think of, it went to, never was the Benzels again. It was the cocaine and

So wait, I'm like this is where I'm confused. Yeah, yeah, and I'm thought you gotta remember I'm trying to think back to Okay, but like okay, so you go You get off the pills you go then you you know, but you're still drinking and you're still doing cocaine For occasion then you go back to the West Hollywood place, the hills. They take you for a month for free. And then after that, are you still drinking and stuff? Or no, then you're completely done. No, I did no drinking or whatever for two months.

And I felt completely better finally from the whole Benzel withdrawal. And I was just back to myself. And I was just doing kind of what I always did. Okay. So what I'm understanding is your story is very common, you know, very common. In and out of different rehabs, the doctor thought he was giving you a prescription. It's got me started, but fully as an addict, I got addicted and when that, when I got better from the Benzl withdrawal syndrome, it just took another form and continued until I realized that everything had to stop for me.

Right. And so when you see other celebrities, especially in Hollywood, and people are like, what is the deal? Like for example, let's just talk about. I just wanted to participate in my experience with the talent I worked with. Almost most of them are not using drugs. Mm-hmm.

I mean, to be, to operate the level and be on that much of your A game, you really, you really can't. Right. And that's why so many of them are sober. Yes. I mean, I, I can see how it can, um, why they do turn sober, but I can see why sometimes they do get in a habit of it.

Because even when I, back in the day when I was working on this TV show and then I would go to the East Coast and do like five shows in a weekend, and I went to a doctor just a normal checkup. And they're like, and he's like, is there anything else? News and older doctor and I said, well, I think I could probably use Ambien or something because that way when I land, you know, in the East Coast and I think I could probably use ambient or something, because that way, when I land, you know, in the east coast, and I know I need to get this many hours of sleep, or if I finish performing, I could take that ambient, like, you know, right when I get into the hotel room and get my,

you know, seven, eight hours before I have to go back to the west coast, whatever I was. And right away, he was like, no, no, I'm not doing that. This is, you know, drink hot tea, whatever. Don't watch TV, read a book, all those things. And I, so I've never had a prescription to amy and I've never done that. But I can see how almost like, I was pressed, like whatever, how the people around you

might feed that up and down this so that you can go on the road, still make it down, or like even on Michael Jackson. I mean, the whole thing of where you got to the place of someone having to give him that strong of a drug, just so he could sleep, you know? 100%. You know, I've been there and I've seen it. So like, I want to talk about your company and everything. And like explain why you think this works breakthrough.

Well, I just for me, I really had to kind of guide myself. I mean, I had my family was amazing helping support me and be by my side, but my situation I think everyone's is that's going through some type of addiction is really individualized and Having really the right people around you. So let's just look at this way. You have a drug problem Maybe you think you do you're not sure me. I don't think it's just something that comes to you. I'm an addict You maybe needs to come to that realization, okay? So what are your choices? You can go to rehab, okay?

That's a huge statement to your family, to your job, is that the right move for you. So I think minimum with insurance covering at rehab is gonna be, that's 30K. It can either be with insurance plus out of pocket, but you're gonna go to a really shitty place. Now, a middle of the road or nicer place, we're talking 80 to 150K a month.

What is a rehab gonna do for you, okay? I don't know, what does it do? This is what I'm gonna tell you what it does. It's gonna separate you from the substance. If you can't stop reaching for the benzo or you can't go stop going to the heroin dealer or the bottle or whatever it is, then rehab may be the place for you. Separate you from the substance for 30 days. Then you're out and you're on your own. How are you going to live after that? I've been three times. I got maybe one, two, or tops three tips on how to survive as an addict

sober. So I'm with rehab and I've never been I have had a Sibling that went and I used to go on a Wednesday night when I was 13 and like visit and hear what I called the juicy stories Okay, so I got to hear the juice stories. What does that mean the juicy story? I like that. Like I got to, let's see, there, from your sibling. No, like I would go on a Wednesday night and I was 13 and it was for my brother and we

go into Beverly Hills and then the people with their loved ones would be there, the people recovering and then they would tell their story. And it was always really juicy for me to hear. Yeah. So I was like, oh, I get to hear these juicy stories. We go to dinner. But it was also really kind of good for me.

I think that's one of the reasons I never wanted to experiment with drugs or anything. Because I saw what it did to people. I saw this beautiful girl tell her story of how she basically, you know, had to prostitute herself. And she was so pretty and she had all this promise, but she got addicted and I remember my mom being like, oh my God, that girl had a face of an angel and like what a sad story because of this.

So like I always like understood it. I was always interested in it. I loved the show intervention, but I am, you know, you see the statistics of, you know, the out first and goes back whatever, nine different times. So every time I was there, I mean, almost everybody was in their five, ten more time, and it was really, really mostly people for opiate addictions. I rarely saw alcohol, never, I mean, never cocaine or anything else. It was, it was home.

And opiates are heroin. Basically, because I asked, I was like, what, when did you think shooting up with heroin was a good idea? It was always no. Got the opiates from, and I'm never taking opiates other than having prescribed as a surgery. So got the opiates from the doctor,

got addicted to the opiates, moved on to heroin. Because it was cheaper and they couldn't get it. Sheeper and accessible. Yeah. Got it. Yeah, which is, you know, such a sign of her times for like, right? The last 30, 20 years. Yeah, it's crazy. And crazy was going on with opiates. And so, you know, when I hear what you're saying too, I mean, now there's just me logically thinking and people I've not been to rehab and, you know, so I'm just saying. But I almost feel like, you know, if this is your situation with a loved one, and the odds

are they're going to have to go back four times, which now we're looking at a quarter million dollars, whatever. What is the solution and could the solution possibly be? I know, I'm just thinking, okay, just like you would pay for a private school or you could have a home tutor, like teach your kid a home school at your house, like what about it just, what about a server companion, what about someone just literally moving in your house, making sure you're busy all the time, making sure you don't have any drugs or with you?

Wouldn't that almost be less expensive than going over to this place? It would be much less expensive than something I recommend all the time, and I've done it. Oh, okay. I had somebody come and stay at my house and me when family was encouraging me to stay in a rehab.

You know, as I was learning, it's really hard because you lose your voice when you're the addict. You lose your voice. No one's listening to you. So when I was in there and all of the three programs I went to were 12 step programs. A.A. When I would go to A meetings or whatever, and if I would question anything or it didn't seem like it was helping me or working for me, it would fall back on me, or if anyone would even listen.

It's like the addicts talking, you don't know what you're talking about. Right, right, and then they're just desperate, and they're being told by these people, like do you want your son to live or die? And the only other choice is, right, this check and go, this check. And this is what we're gonna teach them,

and they're gonna come here and they're gonna learn all this stuff and do all these things that never ever happen. Like what's things? Oh, I mean, I had a list of therapies and doing things with your brain and family days, a complete list of just the things that never happen. And why didn't they happen?

I don't know. You mean, sure you're there and then all these beautiful things that never happen. And why didn't they happen? I don't know. You mean, sure, you're there. And then all these beautiful things that, you mean, like the program says you're gonna do all this, but then you're there and you're just squatting in your room. Or what? No, no, no, no, no, no, it's like a boot camp. You're like a child.

Everything's taken away from you. Lab top, phone, vapes, I guess, at some places. No, there's like things you go to, to, groups they call them, every day. A lot of it was A.A. based. We're reading out of the A.A. book, playing games. There was sometimes a meditation. But you have to think of what you're going through when you're addicted to a substance and coming off of every day is just like

Building your brain back up to be even a function which takes a few weeks, you know just to get the system the substances out of your system So it's like that's why I said it's really there to separate you from the substance So I do want to talk to you a little bit about like why do you think? There's some good things about AA but there's some things that you mentioned you don't necessarily agree with in today's world and how it could be improved upon. So I went to AA in the programs I went to, they were 12 step-based and then I went to AA meetings. I'd say for About two years I want every day. It's just really like you know It's kind of like listen to what you're told and I was listening

I am so happy that that program is helping so many people and I think You have to if you think that program is helping you then you should keep going to your meetings I think there's a lot of good messages that I found from it, like helping others, taking one day at a time being sober for today. Prayer. I mean, then there's a few things that contradict what I'm learning about addiction.

Like saying your powerless, I mean, I find myself powerless to the substance, but not powerless as a human being. You know, just kind of, it's kind of like the, you know, anti-manifesting or like a little bit negative. That's what you're saying. Yeah, definitely, it definitely defies the laws of attraction in terms of, you know, speaking like,

my name is Josh, never sentence to speak, and I'm an addict. My name is Josh, and I'm an addict. My name is Josh and I'm an alcoholic. Yeah every time you speak Yeah, I mean I think that yeah, you're right. Why is that and then you speak and you share? Yeah, which I never had a problem keeping things in so I right so for me But when you're sharing you can't be responded to. So you speak, right? And you're not being responded to. You mean you do your speech and then at the end, everyone just claps and has a cup of coffee or whatever, but it can come up to you at the end, right? You know, and say I heard that, or but you're not gonna, if you're like, you know, I'm struggling with heroin

and now I need like, pencils to come down with. I don't know what I should do. So, one can call them to you, I guess, at the end of the class forever, no one's gonna say that, it's just be like, you know. Okay, I have a question and I don't mean to make light of it, but I do, okay. So, I mean, when I was in LA trying to do stand-up,

it was very hard to get any, you know, spots. And I remember this girl being like, oh, I go to this A, meaning on Robertson. That's where all the agents and everybody is. And I did not do this, but I did think, I wonder if I could come up with like an A story, but be really funny and mention I'm a standup and create a funny story because I'm so desperate

to get an agent and this is back when it was really hard to get an agent, you can just go on TikTok and get a million views for doing an impression. And do you think, and then I remember also, for house-wise people, Luanne Dilliceps, she got arrested one night for trying, thought it was her hotel room and it was so and so so so, one of her, she got arrested

and she was really drunk. And part of her getting out of this situation was to go to AA and everything. And in one of the episodes she brings Sonia and Miami to her AA meeting and Sonia's like, I didn't like it. It was depressing. Sonia probably, you know, drinks a lot too. She was depressing. I don't like it.

She goes, but you know, there, Luanne has her routine. She's doing her stick. And I was like, oh my god, because then I saw Luanne show. And she has these like funny bits in between her songs. And I do think she kind of practiced her bit there. I mean, you're doing the same story. So my question is, did you ever go to these meetings and be like, oh, this guy again?

Like I heard the story about his ex-wife. And when, you know, he drove the car into the Sonoma Biel or whatever. Yes. It's welcome for everybody. I mean, in day, whatever, bow out, like if you were at the comedy store and you're like, are ready for the meaning and you're like, I just need some new material. Like, I've heard these three people's, like, stories. Yes, especially when you're, because your story doesn't change, your story is your story. Right? So you get your, how long can your speech be

when you get sign up to do it? I think they ask for, you can't speak for over two or three minutes. Oh, it has to be that short. Yeah, yeah, yeah. There's a lot of rules. Oh, no, there's a lot of rules. There's a lot of rules. And then you, you know, there's counting days.

So it's like, which is such an accomplishment. I've been sober for this many days Yeah, you know, and then the next day it's something I was sober 47 years. I had a drink last night I'm in the shame now I'm at day one Even though they're 40s 47 years sober. They're back at day one. Okay, you know what I was I'm telling my son about the city Yeah, because they were like oh should we go out and play another round? It was really hot. And I go, have you heard the expression? Let's not and say we did. Like, so if someone had that, why do they have to do that? Why do they have to what? Why do they have to go to the meeting and say, I just lost 47 years. Like, why can't they

go, fuck, I had a drink. I'm not going to count it. I'm just going to act like I'm gonna go fuck, I had a drink. I'm not gonna count it. I'm just gonna act like I'm still sober for 40 seconds. Like why, or why do they have to, like, you know, when people say that, it's the same thing with breastfeeding, like when people wanna stop breastfeeding, they're like, oh, I have to call a lechee league and tell them I've stopped breastfeeding. Why, like, why do you have to do this?

The last two years in my sobriety, I made it, you can call it a relapse or whatever, you wanted to find it. I made a conscious decision where I was like, I think I'm happier doing it using drugs. And I took three months off. Of being sober. From being sober. And what did you start using again?

Used drugs. What drugs? It was just, it was really cocaine, not even alcohol. Turned into a complete disaster. Right. And then I was like, I can't do anything anymore. But if I didn't have that time, I would have never came to that point.

For me, the key, and I think for a lot of people, is when you stop wanting the substance. So whatever you resist, whatever you resist is going to, let's say, hold on. Whatever you resist, process, whatever you resist, process. If you're wanting something, you're eventually gonna give it into it. And if you don't, you may just need to go to multiple meetings a day. Right.

And that's okay. That's fine. That's what you need. For me, I asked my friend who's an AA and I have a lot of really good friends in AA. I said to him, do you miss drinking and drugs and he texted back every day? And I thought, God, do you miss drinking drugs? And he texted back every day. And I thought, God, that must be so hard.

Because you don't miss it. You can say I don't miss it. Sometimes, but it's this stretch, and I've done different stretches of sobriety. It's the least that I don't want the substance anymore. Do you feel like for some people with the AAM that they're sh in not going to the A.A. means anymore, even if you're staying sober. So my, my, I have a great, you know,

front guy that's in A. He's like 40 years sober. 30s, 30s, he's like 67. I love him. We definitely disagree on topics. He tells me A.A. is all I know. He feels so grateful at a program and I'm grateful for him to have it. He has a sponsor. The sponsor had a relapse after two. That means he's a sponsoring somebody. He's sponsoring somebody, okay? So that's kind of how the program works. The sponsor had a relapse. He, the sponsor told, you weren't going to enough meetings. That's why it happens. Okay. Okay.

Is that, does that work or not? It depends if somebody who is, it believes in AA or not, is the difference of opinion. So what is your, tell me about breakthrough recovery and wellness and what your philosophy is in recovery. So, I don't call myself a sobriety expert because every day I'm learning how to be sober and I think that will be for the rest of my life wherever I'm at. What I am is a recovery expert. So I work a lot about do you need to go to rehab?

Do you need to detox? Can you detox at home or do you need to go to a detox? If you do go to a treatment center, which one will be, but do you definitely need a treatment center? What will you learn there? I'll hold your hand through the whole process of that, then I have a team, whether if you decide, do you want to detox at home or do you want to go somewhere?

I can recommend different places. And then I also do, or I talk. So it's almost like you're like a concier consultant. Kind of a thing where they can go to you and you can help them figure out the best plan for them. Yeah, and then they can work with me every week to continue to go through their journey and I do that with a lot of people. But like I want to go back to like, if you're struggling, and you're looking at

your choices, like to go to rehab is going to be, you just don't want to go somewhere that your insurance covers or it's 30 unless it's all you got, and you separate from the substance. But to go anywhere decent is you're looking at like 80 to 150,000 dollars a month. Or then you have AA and you can go to A, there's meetings available to every day. Everybody's welcome and they mean me feel really welcome. But is if it, what happens if you don't feel that it's helping you? Then what do you do? There's not really, there's not really anything left to do.

You got to do it yourself. That's kind of where I come in. And then okay, got it. And then, okay, I got it. And then you recommend. We evaluate. Recomment, yeah. Create a plan. Counselors, everything. I think that's really important

because I just think, you know, not everything works for everybody. And the world since A was created, it really was for alcoholics that it really was created at a certain time. And I definitely think there's great things about it. But, you know, because of the opioid addiction and what has happened. And it's just a different world. And it's like, you know, I mean, the amount of times that people, you know, and sometimes people die and it was never intended.

It was really like something was in a pill and they thought they were just gonna have a fun night and it's like, and now it's like, oh, they were addicted. No, there's that that they weren't addicted. So you just got, and then you have to, now you have to go into fentanyl. And that's where they're lacing everything from cocaine to opiates, molly, ecstasy. And the other question people have,

is just, why would someone want to put fentanyl in their drugs? Because then they lose a client forever. What is the point of it? Is it just like a filler of a, when you make the fake drugs? What is it? I've asked this question a million times to myself, to a million other people.

The answers I've gotten are so it's cheaper for the supplier, it cuts it up. They're also, if you don't over just dose from it, you get very addicted to it. Do you go back? But that's an amazing question that I've asked myself so many times and other people, a lot of whom can't give me an answer. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, this has been amazing. I mean, it's just really, it's such an important thing,

and I feel for anybody that's struggling. What do you think, oh, I know I was gonna, what do you think about like, there's like apps and stuff that are just like, to cut down on drinking? Just like, you know, you have an app to make sure how many steps did I get in? And there's like, these things were like, you know, you have an app to make sure how many steps did I get in? And there's like these things were like, you know, you don't want to give it up, but you want some type of something to not have as many cocktails a week or whatever.

So I'm just not aware of any apps like that or how they work. Yeah, and they've never heard about it. I've just seen it, Papa. Yeah, I mean, I think whatever works for you, you got to keep doing it. But it's almost like when you're an addict right now, I feel like you have to come to the place. You said, like, as a family member, what you can do, they have to come to the place where they're ready to get sober themselves. And for some people, that's a rock bottom or a struggle. You know, I was listening to Ben Affleck on Howard Stern and it was like such a game changer for me because everything I knew that I believed that I was told I was wrong or that contradicted, he was saying, was right. Reward works. Attraction works. The key to sobriety is struggle and helping others.

Trying to think what I'm leaving out there. You got to really, really replace addiction with connection. Is that connection to your work? For me, it's connection with other people. Now, my purpose is just, I know if my story just helps anyone, how helpful I've felt in so many times, that's all I want.

Yeah. And I want. I want to really be able to help anybody, especially if they just feel like they can't afford it with their options are. I'm not saying that they can afford me, but I want to try to work with them and find them help. Well, I think that's really great. And we're going to leave everything where they can find you, but it is at Breakthrough.Recovery is your Instagram. Yeah, I just set it up, because it's pretty private.

Yeah, so we're just starting it. And so I'll put all this to in my descriptions, but it's a BreakthroughRecovery.com and BreakthroughRecoverycoveryco at Gmail if you want to just email and ask Josh any questions or whatever. I'm glad you came out here. I think this is such an important thing for for everybody because everyone. If you're not struggling with some type of addiction, I feel like everybody there's everybody has somebody in their lives that has affected them with a mission. And you just be really care.

And also, when you are faced with someone writing your prescription or something, I mean, I, even when I gave birth, I had one stronger pill right after that made me kind of nauseous. And then the next time I gave birth, I was just like just Tylenol Pym. I mean, that's all I needed. I didn't have a cesarean, so I was okay. But, you know, I think- Be careful what doctors, what doctors you go to. I mean, my doctors are so hesitant on prescribing anything.

And I think if you want it, you can find a doctor that's going to prescribe you what you want. So you almost have to be a bit of your own doctor, but I think you're safer in a hands of a doctor that is really really Operates on the side of caution. Yeah And like yeah, really think about it because it's like, you know, no You know how it might affect you and how you might Based on what's going on in your life or your medical history that you could become and you know like to and the Definition of an annic why I think it's like sexuality, it's a range.

So you may be a zero or you may be a 10, but you can easily get addicted to something and not be an addict. Right. You know, that makes sense. No, it does. I think that's what I'm trying to say. Oh my God, there's people that are struggling

with addictions that may not be an addict, and that's why they may just say, they can go drink wine or whatever they want to do. I really think it's different for every case. For me, I learned of drugs that I was clearly addicted and I call myself an addict. I know I'm home myself an alcoholic, but I call myself an addict and I can't, I just won't indulge in any substance. Yeah.

Well, thank you so much. I really appreciate you coming in. I know you're gonna help a lot of people. Thank you.