Juicy Scoop with Heather McDonald - JLo’s Revenge, Cheating on Set with Brandy and Julie

Episode Date: August 27, 2024

Brandy Howard and Julie Goldman from Dumb Gay Podcast are here! Is JLo’s PR team working a double shift or are we just now realizing Ben Affleck was always the problem. A manslaughter investigation... is underway with the Sicily billionaire’s yacht tragedy. Lily Allen was a bigger bitch than any dog could be. Astronauts are still lost in space. Kathy Hilton got to dance to Michael Jackson. Are Meryl Streep and Martin Short dating? Dance Moms the TV show has gotten heat for depicting JonBenét murder. Drew Barrymore is changing her interview style. Hobby horsing and mommy cosplay are real. Enjoy!  Hungryroot is offering listeners 40% off their first delivery and free veggies for life. Just go to https://Hungryroot.com/JUICYSCOOP. As a special offer for listeners, new customers GET 15% ALL Lume products with our exclusive code - and if you combine the 15% off with the already discounted starter pack, that equals over 40% off their Starter Pack! Use code JUICYSCOOP for 15% off your first purchase at https://LumeDeodorant.com. Stand Up Tickets and info: https://heathermcdonald.net/ Shop Juicy Scoop Merch https://juicyscoopshop.com  Get EXTRA Juicy on Patreon https://www.patreon.com/juicyscoop  Follow Me on Social Media: Instagram: https://www/instagram.com/heathermcdonald  TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@heathermcdonald  Twitter: https://twitter.com/HeatherMcDonald Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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Starting point is 00:00:00 Hungry Root is the easiest way to eat healthy. They send you fresh, high-quality groceries, simple, delicious recipes, and essential supplements. It's like having someone else do all the planning and the shopping so you don't have to even think about it. Right now, Hungry Root is offering Juicy Scoopers 40% off your first delivery and free veggies for life. Just go to hungryroot.com slash juicy scoop
Starting point is 00:00:22 to get 40% off your first delivery and get your free veggies That's hungryroot.com slash juicy scoop. Don't forget to use our link so they know we sent you Introducing TD insurance for business with customized coverage options for your business because a TD insurance We understand that your business is unique. So your business insurance should be too. Contact a licensed TD Insurance advisor to learn more. Heather McDonald has got the Juicy Scoop. When you're on the road, when you're on the go, Juicy Scoop is the show to know. She talks Hollywood tales, Her real life Mr.
Starting point is 00:01:05 Stinkman's serial data and serial system. You'll be addicted and addicted fast to the number one tabloid real life podcast. Listen in, listen up. Hannah McDonald. Juicy Scoop. Hello and welcome to Juicy Scoop. I have the dynamic comedic duo, hosts of Dumb Gay Podcast. Welcome back Brandi Howard and Julie Goldman. Thank you. Thank you so much. You have come
Starting point is 00:01:36 back from a whirlwind, whirlwind. Yeah. Is it whirl? I think it's whorl. It's like whorl. But we have been on a whorl'd wind. Wait, it's not. It's whorl'd wind. It's not the whorl'd? No. It's W-H-I-R. What is this thing? Is this a cu-cu-cucumber?
Starting point is 00:01:59 Cuc- No, I- I kind of thought it was both. I thought you could- You know what? Fair. If you went around the wh around the world, wouldn't that be a world? It would be a world wind. That's fair. You were on cruise, you were performing, and how was your trip? The trip was great. The trip was intense, the trip was a lot of work, but we got to go.
Starting point is 00:02:21 We've decided that Belgium is our new favorite country. Oh. So we highly recommend it to everyone. It's so underrated. It was unbelievable. Oh, really? It's kind of like Paris on crack, but it's not as like sexy, glamorous as Paris, because nothing beats that.
Starting point is 00:02:39 True. But the entire country is like all little mini Paris's every city you go to. So it's just beyond cute. cute and just beyond like eye candy. Just every building. And cobblestone streets and- Like medieval squares with towering. And what was the weather like a couple weeks ago
Starting point is 00:02:56 when you were there? It was hot. It was hot. It was pretty nice, it was in the 70s, but Julie thinks it's hot when it's 71. Do you really? I do run hot. Yes. Okay. I do run hot when it's 71. Do you really? I do run hot. Yes.
Starting point is 00:03:06 Okay. I do run hot. It's true. Well, let's get into some hot news. Besides us all joining you in Las Vegas, people, September 21st, we are making our plans. We're doing a full girls weekend. Oh my God. Girls trip.
Starting point is 00:03:21 It is a serious girls trip. Shannon is coming too. We are going out Friday night Maybe we'll tell you what we're doing maybe we won't but It's gonna be pretty epic and then we'll definitely be talking about it on the show on Saturdays have gone out in like Palm Desert and gotten so ham. Yeah, you know we have fun We send it. Yeah, we like We send it. We like to send it. We like to send it.
Starting point is 00:03:45 Yeah. We send it. This will be our first time without Chris Frangiola. Oh, that's right. Without any like, well, I guess, Drakey Poo will be there. Drakey Poo is coming to film it and help with everything. But what I think is when we do our wild thing is we will go to a nice dinner.
Starting point is 00:04:02 Then we will let my 21 year old son go gamble, do whatever he wants. And then the girls will go do what girls do. See if you could figure it out. I probably won't tell you. I'll probably tell everybody because who cares why not. So anyway, everything's at HeatherMcDowell.net, but go to that show. Get your girls weekend or your sexy husband weekend or whatever, go see the show. Okay, Justin Bieber is a dad. And Hailey Bieber, they had a little baby boy. Welcome Jack Blues Bieber.
Starting point is 00:04:34 Very cute name, classic. I like it, good for them. Yeah, I like this classic photo, this version of this classic photo. I think it's a really cute picture. Just his foot. Yeah, you know how they always do that? Yeah. Or the hand, but I like this classic photo this version of this classic photo. I think it's a really cute picture just as foot Yeah, you know they always do that. Yeah the hand but I thought this one in particular The foot is actually next-level cute. Look at the toes are like spread apart I think it's a really really cute photo. Also is she showing off like the new is this like a postmodern neo French manicured nail
Starting point is 00:05:04 Yeah, what I in my mind very beautiful my mother has it square the new, is this like a post-modern neo-French manicured nail? Yeah. In my mind, my mother has it square. I didn't realize though that it could be like that. Is that a French manicure? That is, but it's a new French manicure, you're right. So congrats to them. It's gonna be a very cute baby, don't you think? Oh, it totally can be gorgeous.
Starting point is 00:05:21 Because they're so cute. And can sing and model. Yeah, fantastic. Now, this. Because they're so cute. And can sing and model. Yeah, fantastic. Now, this just popped up in my memories. This was the last day of Chelsea Lately. Oh. Why would I ever said? 2014, 10 years ago.
Starting point is 00:05:36 It was 10 years ago. You have not aged that day. 10 years ago. Today? Yeah. Oh yeah, oh wow. With the last taping. And then, and that's where I got this photo
Starting point is 00:05:46 of Jennifer, I call her Jay. Right. Jennifer Lopez and I. When you call her on the phone. Yeah. Yeah. And that's when we met, that's when I asked her why she looks so young and I touched her waist and I said, is it La Mer?
Starting point is 00:06:00 And she was like, I don't know if you've said that in an interview once, but she probably knew she was already gonna launch her own skincare, so she probably didn't wanna admit that at one time it was La Mer. Anyway, we got along great. I like how the now photo's not there. Well, you know, I don't know how to do that.
Starting point is 00:06:18 But also I don't have a more recent photo of my best friend and I. Right, because you weren't in town when she had the Hamptons birthday of the Bridgerton. Right, and I wasn't in town when they got married two years ago. Oh yeah. At the Georgian mansion. You're right. Well, we'll get a new updated photo for that.
Starting point is 00:06:34 Now that she's single, we're gonna hang out more. So much more news about the JLo. There's literally been 25 articles, and I'm gonna go through the highlights. Ben is supposedly dating Kick Kennedy. She is one of Robert F. Kennedy Jr.'s eight children. She is 36. She's a pretty brunette. She's just like a very East Coast looking, classic Irish looking gal.
Starting point is 00:07:03 Like Jennifer Garner, quite frankly. Yeah. You know, he has a type. Yes. And we can't apparently get out of bed without hearing about Robert F. Kennedy Jr. or something to do with him. Like I cannot believe this is what Ben Affleck
Starting point is 00:07:17 is choosing to do just at this moment. But now this is a non-political show, so everyone just relax. But I will say, knowing that his wife is Cheryl Hines from Curb Your Enthusiasm, who I used to do the growlings with, who talked on the phone and have fun with, I was noticing that she was not saying, doing anything.
Starting point is 00:07:38 Well, now this weekend, they have come after her. They have come, the people are angry with her and how could you you know even be married to such a monster whatever so I started go I looked on her thing and like you know just a happy photo of like her to friend. Yeah, and she has looked that like the last like 30 comments right at the top were just like the worst and yeah she hasn't been vocal about anything. She's never, I haven't seen her like be with him at anything.
Starting point is 00:08:13 And hey, that's their deal, whatever. Doesn't mean that they're not in love. She's probably just like, if you really make it there, then I'll pack my bag and show up. But until then, I don't wanna get those mean comments and Heather stop talking about it. Okay, sure. Well, but here we are with Ben Affleck
Starting point is 00:08:28 getting involved somehow. Strangely. Well, they were seen at the Polo Lounge, who hasn't been seen there, but, eating a MacArthur salad. Have you ever had the MacArthur salad? At the Polo Lounge? Yes. Yes.
Starting point is 00:08:42 Can I tell you the trick of all tricks? What? I say no cheddar cheese cubes. Give me crumbled goat cheese on that salad and it makes a world of difference. I want to look that up. The first place I've ever had Whispering Angel was the Polo Lounge. I just bought two logs of goat cheese this morning. The word log just makes shit. Yeah, well, no just me. Yeah, so hungry. Okay Anyway, they are dating supposedly they've been seen a number of times
Starting point is 00:09:14 Are they even divorced yet? JLo and bad-ass like so she? filed just last week and because Supposedly, but okay, so she found last week, which was the exact date of they got married legally somewhere then they had the the wedding. Which Jay Shetty performed. Jay Shetty is a weird grifter in my opinion. In my opinion. That's right. Based on interviewing this guy who did a big piece on him and many of the things that he said.
Starting point is 00:09:50 Jake Shetty is like this, said he was this monk and all this stuff and he has this huge following and he's like the spiritual guru to all these people and he cried and everything and said the wedding was so, he'd never seen a love like this before. Well. Didn't he marry them? Yeah, he married them so, he'd never seen a love like this before. Well. Didn't he marry them? Yeah, he married them.
Starting point is 00:10:07 Yeah. So anyway, getting back to this. So I've noticed a push in the JLo PR machine because she has gotten so much shit for the last few months of people not liking her ever since she did her, look at that girl with that crazy, crazy hair, running the streets of the Bronx.
Starting point is 00:10:28 Who's that crazy girl? Ever since then and the dancing with the cane and everything that she did and her shows, she started to get a lot of dislike, okay? Then I, so now she said this date of separation she put as April 26th, which I thought was interesting. I was trying to see when the movie came out in Netflix,
Starting point is 00:10:54 because I looked it up and it was only the premiere at the film festival. But when was that premiere? Because I feel like that's kind of where it started, the documentary about the greatest love story ever told is kind of where I think she started to get some haters and get some people being like, what is her deal? So she has now launched what I think is a campaign
Starting point is 00:11:19 to make us realize JLo's not the problem. It's resting dick face Ben Affleck. He is the problem. He cheated on her. I remember he cheated on her. What I remember is there was some story about him being in a strip club in Canada when they were engaged the first time.
Starting point is 00:11:38 Then of course, Jennifer Garner, he cheated on allegedly with a nanny. Remember that story? Also with that girl that was a producer at SNL for years, that Lindsay girl. Yep. And then remember she was driving him to rehab and she stopped at Jack in a Box.
Starting point is 00:11:56 Jennifer Garner, while already divorced, took her cheating husband for his last Jack in a Box run before she took him to rehab. So let's just remember all of that and the horrific back tattoo. But he swooped down with his falcon or whatever it is on his back and pursued Jennifer and she fell in love with him again
Starting point is 00:12:17 and she's fucking pissed. Because according to the sources, he did not try to patch it up. Every single thing online because the internet is furious. And whether JLo and her camp paid for it or what, now the narrative has shifted to like serial cheater, serial deviant. And everyone says the same terms. And I'm like, well, they're really going in on all Ben Affleck.
Starting point is 00:12:43 Well, let me just show you some more. He was out last night with his, as my dad would say, asshole buddy. Matt Damon, they went to Tuscana out in LA, which I think is in Brentwood and had a cute dinner. We're going to have to hit Beverly Hills. We need a night out. Yeah, because the assholes are out. We need to get out. They've all dropped off their kids at college. And they're lurking. Yes, they are lurking. So then this article came out.
Starting point is 00:13:17 Ben Affleck reportedly had control over Jennifer Lopez's documentary, that he was fully part of it, he pushed for it. And that yet in it, there's a part where he says, I have an addiction problem with alcohol, but she has an addiction to likes and followings and fame and everything. And he made sure he said that and he made sure it was in
Starting point is 00:13:43 and he made sure that I got word of it and talked about it eight times. Yeah. So. That's not even that groundbreaking that she has an addiction to likes and, most people do. It's just kind of, it's an underhanded,
Starting point is 00:13:57 shady kind of thing to say because it's a turnoff. Yeah, it's like. That's true. That you're a thirsty bitch, you're a fame whore. It's never complimentary. You know, when someone is like, I never want it to be famous. I want it to do the work. I want it to act.
Starting point is 00:14:12 I want it to act. I want it to write. I want it to direct. I love it when people laugh. It's all I care about. If I could just perform for two people at a small theater. That's all I wanted. That's all that matters.
Starting point is 00:14:20 That's all I wanted. We never cancel the show. I have one person there smiling. I've done my job. So one thing I remember he said in another interview, I think it was with, might have been with Kevin Hart, but he did an interview that I saw that was after they were supposedly breaking up, but it wasn't official. And he said, you know, we were with the kids
Starting point is 00:14:51 and we were gonna go see this play and that it was so much traffic at Times Square, we just had to get out and just walk the half a block, otherwise we would miss the curtain or whatever. And he's like, we walk out and then it's just like women coming up to Jennifer just crying, whatever. And he's like, we walk out and then it's just like women coming up to Jennifer just crying, whatever. And my daughter always jokes that she's going to write a book and with stories like this called, My Stepmother Was Jennifer Lopez. And right away, myself
Starting point is 00:15:18 included, there were some comments, wow, was? Oh. That even when he did that interview, which they were together when he did that interview, which they were together when he filmed the interview, the book title for Violet's book was gonna be My Stepmother with Jennifer Lopez. I would love to read the book. Me too.
Starting point is 00:15:39 Well, she recently wore a dress from her, so she's still okay with raiding her closet. She wore J.Lo's dress. I imagine that she's still close with raiding her closet. She wore JLo's dress. I imagine that she's still close with the kids, don't you think? Or at least maybe not close, but not no animosity. Well, I'm glad that you asked that because she wanted to make sure that this story got out. Wait, I'm going to go back.
Starting point is 00:15:56 Ben Affleck, another Page Six article, Ben Affleck has reported lost contact with Jennifer Lopez's two kids despite the singer singer's continued efforts. Well of course he lost contact. He's off with Matt Damon. Yeah. You know dick hunting or whatever they're doing. Well no they went with the wife was there too. Oh okay. For the hunt. Well the I think she still would speak to his because he's got like two little girls and a son right I think Jennifer Lopez would still talk to them and Jennifer Garner. This is the thing. These kids aren't texting Ben and being like,
Starting point is 00:16:29 hey, it's your former stepson. Would you like to go to Dunkin' Donuts? He's the one that's going to have to make the effort. And he probably won't. Or he'll be like, well, I texted him and didn't write. You know, you got to try a lot with teenagers. But I think that hopefully, Violet wants to borrow more of Jennifer's clothes and she can keep that relationship going. I think it'll be harder for her to keep the relationship with the younger kids that aren't that are under 18, his two kids. But whatever, she want to make sure we knew that. Ben, oh here it was, this was the sign, not enough followers to fulfill J.Lo's
Starting point is 00:17:06 sense of longing and pain. That was his direct quote, Ben Affleck, about Jennifer Lopez. Now, Ben Affleck had not going anywhere transcribed inside her wedding rings. I remember she had that weird lime green stone and she said, that's my favorite color and that was her diamond. It was really not attractive. It looked like a Jolly Rancher. That was her
Starting point is 00:17:31 diamond from him. Like compared to all her other ones, the pink ones, yellow ones, all the other engagement rings, this one to me was not attractive but she just had run out of like different looks. So she was like let's go with a lime green, very rare stone. But so, well, he did go somewhere. He went to Justana. And the Polo Lounge. Hey, Patti Stanger liked it. I mean, and she's an expert on relationships.
Starting point is 00:17:59 So I'm sure she could have not seen this one coming. Not Patti Stanger at the top of the post. The first one. I know, when I do these photos, I kind of like, sometimes I leave it, because sometimes it is somebody that we know that just happens to get that top billing. And I'm like, oh, I wonder if we'll see who else are liking
Starting point is 00:18:19 these things. So here we go. JLo wants to change her last name from Affleck to Lopez. Well of course, unless she can be the spokesperson for Affleck, then I don't think that she should keep it. Has she been credited on these recent movies as Jennifer Affleck? No way. I didn't see that anywhere.
Starting point is 00:18:42 No, I saw Atlas. I saw the latest one. And it was Jennifer Lopez. and I just want to say this I know everyone can do whatever they want But I do think there is a tier of women JLo is one of them where if you marry her Sir, you should be taking her last name. That's how upper at that's a famous I can't deal with the fact that she would take his name. She's so famous and so rich and so powerful, he should take her goddamn name.
Starting point is 00:19:10 But if some women want to do it, because they are that powerful and they want so badly to be the wifey and to be like, I'm Miss West, Kim Kardashian West, I'm Miss Affleck, like that's my man, you know, now she's like, what the fuck was I thinking? Now do I think that she went to the social security office and waited in line? I don't think that she did.
Starting point is 00:19:34 I did it after when I was pregnant with Drake, I went. And so I have it on my last name. Cause I just thought. But not until you were having a kid. Not until I was having a kid. Cause I just thought if there was ever a moment where like I had a different name than than him then I you know legally something could happen right that's the only reason I went yeah I didn't go the first year and a half or two years no and you don't even use the name I wasn't pregnant yeah and I
Starting point is 00:20:00 don't really use it no right no so but yeah, it's kind of a pain in the ass. Hungry Root is the easiest way to eat healthy. They send you fresh, high quality groceries, simple, delicious recipes and essential supplements. It's like having someone else do all the planning and the shopping so you don't have to even think about it. I am telling you, this is the greatest. I filled out a little form, I got my groceries,
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Starting point is 00:21:55 Visit BetterHelp.com to learn more. That's BetterH-E-L-P.com. All right, now Alex Rodriguez shares a cryptic quote after Jennifer Lopez. He just posted some weird thing, which the quote that he did on Tuesday, August 20th, the same day that his former fiance filed for divorce, he put on his Instagram stories, you either go one way or the other. You might as well be the one deciding the direction. Talk about cryptic. What the fuck's he even talking about? Right. What does that mean? Like
Starting point is 00:22:31 when you decided to cheat on your wife with Madison Cawthorn or whatever her name is? Madison Beer? Madison whatever. What is her last name? I don't know. Then you went that's the way you went. I mean okay. Like I don't know what you have to weigh in on it. It was just a quote that he liked that was because he was stuck in traffic. I don't know why he did it. Read it one more time. Okay. You either go one way or the other.
Starting point is 00:22:53 You might as well be the one deciding the direction. Okay. I mean, if we take it out of context. You have to go one way or the other. You might as well be the one deciding. Who's in control. Like Jennifer Lopez decided, I'm done. Yes.
Starting point is 00:23:07 Because do we think Jennifer Lopez decided, or do we think Ben Affleck decided? I think he completely ghosted her. I think she was like, I'm going to look hot. I'm going to go to Italy in this white bathing suit. I'm going to have this party. Fuck it. I don't care that he's not there.
Starting point is 00:23:24 He's going to see that I don't need him. Then, you know, and I just think he just really wasn't into her anymore. I just don't think he wanted to be married to her anymore. I don't think there's anything she could have done to save it at that point. And she would have gone on and kept, though, if he was willing to keep faking it,
Starting point is 00:23:42 you think they would have faked it for like another year? But they weren't faking it. They hadn't been seen together in a really long time. They weren't showing up. He wasn't slamming the door, merely missing her ankle anymore. Like it had been months and months. He never was around for her birthday. He never visited her in the Hamptons.
Starting point is 00:23:58 Well then I guess one could say- He'd not go to Bevmo and sign any of those Delola bottles with her. Well then no amount of love or affection or a woman's attention will ever be enough for him. I guess that we should say that on his thing for his documentary. There's no one beautiful enough, there's no one young enough, there's no one old enough, there's no one loyal enough, there's no one anything enough because your addiction is
Starting point is 00:24:21 yourself sir and your whatever, your alcohol or whatever. And your thirst bucket too, so go gamble. And by the way, we know in all of his gambling years that Jennifer Lopez's mom also won twice huge at the slots. Yes, talk about great luck. Yeah, during the time with Ben Affleck, they were like, hell yeah, let's go gamble. And then she won huge twice, which I love.
Starting point is 00:24:43 And then there's also those rumors that he would tip very, very well at the gambling. And then she would come back with her bun and be like, that was too much. Oh. And like cut it in half. That's too bad. Hilarious.
Starting point is 00:24:56 That is too bad. I don't even care. Those are just rumors. Just rumors, okay? I mean, I was gonna say that I really, there's few parties, like Leo's New Year's party, even though that's probably just like an SA,
Starting point is 00:25:10 like an assault waiting to happen on New Year. And they have one of those things that I just gave you to sign a release. Exactly, but I still am like, there's only one place to be on New Year's and it's there. Or the lady from Queen of Versailles, when she was gonna have that New Year's party, I was like, that's the party to go to.
Starting point is 00:25:25 But that Bridgerton party, people were trying to drag it online, like it's too hot, everyone's dressed, it's 100 million degrees in the Hamptons, they're all in these dresses, she's a million years old, why is she having your birthday party? I was like, I think that looks so fun. Of course. I would like kill to be in a ball gown sweating.
Starting point is 00:25:42 Yeah, who's doing, who's writing that? I'd like to see that person. Don't you realize your ship is too old, J-Lo? You're so old. You're so old. Why are you wearing crop tops, J-Lo? Because you can. I feel sad because I remember when they got back together
Starting point is 00:26:05 and I was like, how fun for her to be like, guess what, my body's even better than it was 20 years ago. Get ready to rock your world. No, I think they were super passionate and love, and I think, yeah, I think he's just fucked up. Okay, so moving on. Okay. Jennifer Garner supposedly was going their separate ways,
Starting point is 00:26:26 but since then, no, they were fine. She and her boyfriend. But supposedly the boyfriend was, so to say, getting annoyed with her having to cater to Ben because of what he's going through with J.Lo and always being there and the kids and blah, blah, blah. Yeah, that's my first bucket. He's so fucking annoying.
Starting point is 00:26:46 Okay, also, they won't go to the red carpet to do this movie that he and Matt Damon are producing. It's about a true story about some wrestler and she plays the mother of the wrestler. But now she'll be the only one on the red carpet. Which again, he's like, great, I don't wanna go to Toronto. I be the only one on the red carpet. Which again, he's like, great, I don't want to go to Toronto. I don't want to be on the red carpet. The full, they put all together, them on the red carpet,
Starting point is 00:27:11 like in the last two years. And in the beginning, he's just like, whispering and laughing. And by the end, he's just like, so fucking annoyed. I think he'll be sweating at Toscano with Matt Damon and his wife. I don't think he's going to be anywhere near, I think he's going to take time off even from
Starting point is 00:27:31 work because that's what he usually does. What was he so mad about? What was he so mad about all the time? I think he's probably just sick of the industry. He's not sick of the industry. He loves the industry. He was sick that the fact that she was more beloved and more famous and richer than he was.
Starting point is 00:27:47 Oh, that's good. That is good. I'm bummed out. I thought that their second chance at love was like super romantic. Yes. And I was like really super into it and it's disappointing, I'm disappointed in him.
Starting point is 00:27:57 I'm super disappointed in him. He like is an idiot. I hope she never loses that thing, that Elizabeth Taylor thing. And I think Kate Hudson has it too. Oh yeah. They just. And Kim Kardashian. Yeah, they'll marry.
Starting point is 00:28:11 She wants to be Elizabeth Taylor, yeah. And I'm into it. I'm like, I think it's kind of like iconic. Like just do you, do it, don't ever grow up. I have a vision. Okay. Of J.Lo's next man. Okay.
Starting point is 00:28:29 It is going to be like a Jeff Bezos type. Oh. That's not what I was thinking. And he might not even be American. Will he be good looking? Yes. Okay, so he won't be a Jeff Bezos type. But he will be like a rich billionaire person. He'll be good looking, but. Okay, so he won't be a Jeff Bezos type. But he will be like a rich billionaire person.
Starting point is 00:28:47 He'll be good looking, but he's a billionaire in another country. But good looking for a billionaire or good looking really? Good looking for a billionaire and he'll be a couple of years younger than she. And you know, and she will love it. I was picturing younger. And maybe that will be the first time
Starting point is 00:29:03 that she starts to slow down on all the stuff. Maybe she'll then find herself in her now late 50s, still looking amazing, and be like, all right. Like, I just, my kids are in college, I just wanna like chill and be a rich person, and this guy fucking loves me, and I'm just gonna take a bath of diamonds. I was gonna whisper to Julie and see if it matched yours
Starting point is 00:29:26 and it didn't. What was yours? Well mine was definitely younger. Okay, everyone could do a prediction you guys. You can do your own. Well for some weird reason I was picturing some uber hot just fuck boy, like who Kristin Cavallari's with.
Starting point is 00:29:43 Who you saw at stagecoach. Like one of them. Just like randomly. That guy is like 10 years younger than Kristin. I think she can have that, okay. She can just have hard bone time. Hard bone time. Take it to bone town.
Starting point is 00:30:00 Write that down and make it a bumper sticker. But the next serious one, whether it's marriage or not, is gonna be someone that is really up there. Let's hope she takes the train to Pound Town on her way to Billionaire Town. And I also want to say that Lauren Sanchez should not invite her on the yacht. That's all I'm saying.
Starting point is 00:30:21 Oh, that's very good advice. I know you guys are probably friendly. Good advice. Don't let Jeff Bezos around J-Lo. Yes. Good one. That it's Baseload. Speaking of yachts, this story that I talked about,
Starting point is 00:30:37 this billionaire's sailboat yacht had gotten in this weird tornado and capsized and so sad that six people I think have been killed now. And they are launching an investigation. Authorities are launching a manslaughter investigation after identifying the victims. They are like saying it shouldn't have been anchored there.
Starting point is 00:31:05 How did the water get in it? Was it negligent? Were these people qualified to be working on this boat? Was this like, what is going on? Because there was a crazy thing with the one billionaire whose body now has been found. He was facing fraud charges for 11 years with his partner because he sold his business,
Starting point is 00:31:30 which he sold it for $11 billion to Hewlett Packard and they said it was only worth three. So they were saying, they tried to get him up on fraud charges and he and the partner prevailed. Two days before the boat went down, his partner was killed riding his bike. Someone hit him.
Starting point is 00:31:49 Oh, shit. Yeah, that's not even manslaughter at that point. That's full murder. This is murder. Yeah. Like they'll, you know, they'll accuse the crew. Yeah, but there was a natural, there was like a weird untimely thing.
Starting point is 00:32:03 And like crew member, like like died, a chef. But then it's just very strange. So they're looking into it. Is there any way that that natural phenomenon could have been manmade? Or maybe they saw it coming though, and then you parked it there. Was it a wave or was it from under the water?
Starting point is 00:32:20 They said like they should never have been in the cabins. Like it was at the current? They would have known that it was coming. And because the people never have been in the cabins. Like it was at the current? They would have known that it was coming and because the people that died were in the cabins. This one woman who was one of the attorneys for him, you know, prevailed, she lived with her husband and their one-year-old baby because they were on the deck. So then they were thrown into the water and she had to hold her baby up above her head for an hour until they could all get into the lifeboat. But the people that were in their cabins, it like capsized with the big, you know, sail thing. It caps and then they couldn't get out.
Starting point is 00:32:57 Couldn't get out. But I guess they shouldn't have been there. They should have woken them up and known. Or the other part is did they leave some hatch open or something that caused the water to go in yeah that's the story those the woman who held the baby above the water mm-hmm that's the documentary I want to see yeah or this one famous gay penguin Sven oh no to remind you guys we started with him at the Abbey and it it was super fun, remember? I totally remember. His partner was named Magic. Cause he was. And Magic has survived the widow?
Starting point is 00:33:34 Magic started, the minute he knew his partner was dead, he started singing, and other penguins came around and sang too. Oh. I mean, it was like- That is so sad. Penguins are so horny. The gay man's choir.
Starting point is 00:33:47 Gay men, they were like, bum titty bum bum bum titty bum bum. They lived in Austin. I understood and everyone round. They were like- That's so dumb. They sing Amazing Grace. Yeah, Amazing Grace.
Starting point is 00:34:01 Do do ba da ba ba ba. Like. Sing Grace. Do do po do po po po. So he was in an Australian aquarium for years. And they, you know, once they were such a strong couple, they gave them a baby chick egg, like a rogue egg. I don't know if the mother was just like, fuck it, and wanted to go to a juice. She was a teen mom. She was a teen mom. Before she wanted to go to a juice, she kept showing vagas. She just failed.
Starting point is 00:34:27 She got her uncles to raise it and so they did raise. And this has happened with lots of penguins. They are the gayest of the animals, I think. I think they're second to gay to the bonobo monkeys, which are also super gay. Do they have the pink assholes? Oh, I think they might. They're all in pink butts.
Starting point is 00:34:47 They're omnisexual, but the bonobo monkeys, like they all do it. They're like gay and they'll do straight. It's a little bit different than being gay. That's bisexual. That's true, but they do gay stuff too. But these straight up like parenting as gay, as like a partner.
Starting point is 00:35:01 And wearing a tuxedo for their whole life. Yeah, dress perfect. And walking and the way they, I mean, they are meant to be. Meant to be. That is so, mm. So do we know why Sven died? It was natural causes. Okay, natural causes.
Starting point is 00:35:15 So they only lived to like 11? He was a bottom. It was a good life. Oh, he was a bottom. I heard they were verse, but. Yeah, when both of them are in the tuxedo, I'm pretty sure they both do everything But yeah, that is so there maybe it was a top What did you say I'm sorry what I said maybe Sven was a top and that's why they all came around and sang right
Starting point is 00:35:42 There's so few top. Apparently there's a few tops. That's what they say. That's what they say, that there's a shortage of tops. And then I'm always like, well, Julie can volunteer. She's a stone cold top, honey. Right, right. Oh, so they were crying like in mourning because the one top. Right, right. The top's gone. Oh, so now magic is like, who will fill my, I won't say it, my void.
Starting point is 00:36:13 Well, yeah, it's, you never know. It's sad that it comes at the end of gay pride summer. Good that it wasn't at the beginning. So at least he got to enjoy the summer. Yeah, his last pride summer. I have a story that I don't at the beginning. So at least he got to enjoy the summer. Yeah, his last pride summer. I have a story that I don't know if I can tell. I know, I can't. I saw, I read two seconds of it. I saw it and I couldn't deal, I couldn't believe it. Heather, Lily, I love you.
Starting point is 00:36:36 First I'm gonna jump to the end of the story first. You know you're trolling Julie. You know what you're doing. You know what you're doing. Okay, this is about Lily, Alan's dog. Before I tell the story, I want you to know that the dog, which could not be cuter, black, little, cute, looks like a little lab type mix,
Starting point is 00:36:54 is with another family. But let me tell you what Lily Allen did. As you know, everybody has a podcast. You legally have to have one, no matter what you're doing in your life. If you're in Hollywood, you have to have a podcast. And people have to have one, no matter what you're doing in your life. If you're in Hollywood, you have to have a podcast. And people, I guess, are like, I don't have all the juicy stories like Heather McTaw does,
Starting point is 00:37:12 so I'll just share this one today. And she told a story about her dog. She said, we got this little puppy, little dog, and it ate all three of our passports, myself and my two kids. And that dog, like like ruined my life. But it's like you're hearing a voice with the English accent and it just sounds like she's like, yeah, the dog was very poorly behaved of start and then I ruined our summer because the kids were supposed to go with their father in another country, but they couldn't. So
Starting point is 00:37:40 that affected their relationship all because of this dog. And so I got rid of it. I had to. Every time I looked at it, it just infuriated me that the dog ate the passports. You know, I lost my passport twice in one trip in China. And it turned out it was in my own pocket. Now, I traveled with... Now, did Brandi get rid of me as a friend? Did she say, I can't be around you anymore because you ruined the trip?
Starting point is 00:38:12 Which I did. Because you lost your passport in a communist country. Which I did two times in a row. Did I ruin the trip? Yes. Did she get rid of me, throw me to the curb, put me in the garbage? No, because that's what friends do.
Starting point is 00:38:27 She didn't re-home you. She didn't home me. Did she yell at me? Yes. Yes, many times. However, when you bring, I mean, I just, I, I. We've all had our dogs. Peter lost his passport once too.
Starting point is 00:38:41 Oh, where was it? Well, we were going to the wedding of Joe Francis, Rolls-Royce and as we were flying there the plane had to be turned around and go back to LAX because something happened and there was no place for it to land. So we already lost a day. It was only gonna be we're only gonna be there three nights. So then the next day all of us all the people go and to get on the. And we get in the car, we stayed at a hotel and had a fun night with people near LAX. Get in the car and he's like, can't find it.
Starting point is 00:39:13 So then I said, goodbye, goodbye. I'm with his sisters, goodbye. Oh, you were like, Peter, go home? I go back to the hotel and look for it and then meet us at the gate. And if you don't, you don't. Like I only have a day and a half left of this fucking trip.
Starting point is 00:39:27 Peter gets out of the car, everyone high fives. Woo, girls weekend. Joe Francis' wedding, girls gone wild, Peter's not here. Passport, woo. You're like Shannon, way to go hiding Peter's passport. Anyway, it was in his suitcase, which he had. Listen, I'm the queen and king of that more than once. In general, I lose everything.
Starting point is 00:39:51 It was in her pocket. It was in a passport holder around her neck. She said she lost it in the airport when we landed. She's like, I can't find my passport. I can't find it. I lost it. I'm like, where's baggage claim? It has to be right here somewhere.
Starting point is 00:40:02 We just went through customs. She's like, I lost it. We just went through customs. And she's like, I lost it. We searched the whole airport in China. And you didn't notice that there was something hanging on her neck either? I looked through it on my own self. Heather, then do you know when you get a new passport?
Starting point is 00:40:20 This is for everyone to know. But you have your old one. And then she lost the new one. She lost the new one, still in China. And then now we're scared, does the old one even work? Or has it been? Oh, no, it's been deactivated. So now we're still there.
Starting point is 00:40:40 So I had to get another new one. No, they called from the police station. Oh, right. I had to go pick it up. Or I they called from the police station. Oh, right. I had to go pick it up. Or I called you. Someone found it. Well, thank God you weren't traveling with Lily Allen.
Starting point is 00:40:49 Well, this is what I'm saying. Listen, and we all have dogs. Also, learn about the stories not to tell. Learn about the stories not to tell, bitch. We would have never known that story, and now forever we're going to remember you as that bitch. Or at least be upset about it. There's extenuating circumstances where people through illness or moving or...
Starting point is 00:41:11 Yeah, you can rehome a dog. Fine, you can rehome a dog. But you better be, you know, I didn't want... Your whole attitude is not the dog ruined or your dog didn't ruin your life. Remember the Brady Bunch episode where they were going to get rid of Tiger? No. Because they thought that Jan was allergic to it and that all the kids hated Jan. They were like, can we get rid of Jan?
Starting point is 00:41:31 Peruse. And then I think it was Jan and then when they're like they got another person to take the dog and then they're like, oh Jan will you get whatever his little food or something. And then she walks back and she goes, ah, chew. And they realized, no, she's allergic to the food or she's allergic to the spray or something. And then she walks back and she goes, ah, chew, and they realize, no, she's allergic to the food or she's allergic to the spray or whatever. And they were able to keep Tiger. But yeah, those kids wanted to rehome Jan.
Starting point is 00:41:55 And you know, I know exactly what you would have told her because you've told it to us before. And it is from, you know, many years of living in LA, but most particularly, probably Dorit, you can't rehome a dog without saying that a bit one of your kids. That's all you have to do. All she could have said, it ate the passport and mauled my child's face. But that's okay because we're going to get a new passport photo anyway after the plastic
Starting point is 00:42:22 surgery. And then once we got my child's face fixed we got a new passport photo and then I thought my child was scared of the dog who looks very scary and even forgave Raquel and Raquel's parents and Andy Cohen yeah so people do it and right into Cohen gave his dog away after 13 years because he said it was aggressive. Now, whether you believe him or not is up to you. I don't.
Starting point is 00:42:48 But you can do it. Yes. You just have to show some sadness over it. But you're right, it has to be about the kid. And I think that's what we thought with Andy too. That was something with the child. He said it was. He said it was aggressive to the kid.
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Starting point is 00:44:09 Oh. I've been covering this story because I'm like, I never ever want to go to space. Me neither. And obviously nobody's ever going to ask me. You never know. You never know. But you never know. Butch and Sunny are going to be there till February. They were supposed
Starting point is 00:44:26 to be there one week. They left June, in June, they're supposed to be back June 14th. Now they said, you got to just stay there. But we're going to send the dragon, the Elon Musk thing. We're going to come get you in February and we'll just leave two empty seats so you can hop on and come back through that. So the Boeing, and they said the reason we can't take you right now is because whatever your space suit is an iPhone and this is an Android or something like they don't, they're not compatible so they have to stay out there until February. And they're acting like everything's fine. And their spouses are like, it's fine.
Starting point is 00:45:09 No, we FaceTime on, they love it. They love being out in space. They love looking down at earth. And they're like, no, we're totally fine. And I'm like, they've got to act like that. Otherwise they may never get them or they may just like blow it up and be like, oh, sorry, there was a really bad accident.
Starting point is 00:45:23 So I think they're just gonna, they're just rolling along. And then when she gets back, listen, Sonny, I want to exclusively offer you your first podcast interview. Do not go to my competitors, no matter how much they pay you, I will make it worth it for you. And trust me, because I need to know what you were thinking. And how could you? It must be horrified. Horrified. And like, did you fall in love with Butch at any point? Oh my god.
Starting point is 00:45:54 What if you're really just like, we're going to be out here till. I mean, they have a bunch of supplies. They said they'll be fine till February. But what if they go, OK, now it's going to be June. Do they have years and years and years of it? No, they don't. Are they alone or are there other people there?
Starting point is 00:46:11 Cause if they're alone, they're fucking. I don't think they can get out of their outfits. Okay. No, they can get out. If they're in a space station, they can float around. And they're gonna have to change when they bring the new spacesuits. But I thought there was other people there. I think I would, fuck.
Starting point is 00:46:26 I think I'd be like, I've never experienced an affair. This might be the end of our lives. Let's just try it and see. And also SpaceX. Floating around. Then would you tell your spouses when you get home that you did it? No, I'd save it for Juicy Scoop. Oh, OK.
Starting point is 00:46:46 That's the question. You'd be having to do Juicy Scoop from there, like on FaceTime. Could you imagine? Hello. Hello. And welcome to Juicy Scoop. Wait, yours is off.
Starting point is 00:46:58 Oh my god. He sliced by the back naked. The astronauts are the weirdest people, and weird isn't good. Thank God there do they do what they do I find it to be a nightmare from hell to me. It's like being underwater. I would never want to be in a submarine I don't want to be a little bit of a subway I don't mean a submarine anywhere that I can't get out of the space is to me the scariest most
Starting point is 00:47:23 uncontrolled thing in the world. We don't, I watch space movies, you can't even, it's so horrific. Remember when Sandra Bullock was like. Gravity. And then it was like. Nope, she's spiraling. She was almost like out of her oxygen or whatever.
Starting point is 00:47:38 That's, I mean that's the way I feel when my phone is down to like 8%. I can't imagine, like it's your air. Your air. And then I was just so happy when she finally got and jumped in that lake, finally came back. And then her legs looked so good in those shorts. And I was just like, yeah.
Starting point is 00:47:57 And then I was talking about it with Peter. He goes, well, they know, they know it's a risky job. I go, they do? Yeah, they do. They are. I feel like they don't sell it as a risky job. Not like you're gonna be a combat Marine. Like those people know if you're gonna go to war,
Starting point is 00:48:11 there's a really good chance you're gonna die. If you're a cop, there's a really good chance you might die. But I feel like astronauts are not taught that they could do. I think so. And that teacher went up there. She did not think that thing was gonna explode. She thought it was like going up in an airplane You know I think I do think though the astronauts in general do have to They do have intensive training with you know I mean at least from what I've seen
Starting point is 00:48:34 I'm numb to just just from watching movies so from what I've seen It's like they have to be given all of the you know there's no air. You know there's no gravity You know that you're going into a thing that we have no control of, and so there is this major, major gamble. I do think that with Kristin McAuliffe in that time, they were so cocky, that was the Titanic. That thing was the Titanic, for sure. That was the teacher blow up.
Starting point is 00:48:56 Well, they say that is why Gen Xers, because you guys are younger than I, so you did not see it in the classroom, but when they say that is why Gen Xers are the way we are with our kids and everything, it's because we witnessed it. So imagine your kids, okay? Imagine children today. They all do it.
Starting point is 00:49:16 Well, it was a Punky Brewster episode. Oh, they did on Punky Brewster? Yeah. Okay, well they... Exactly what you're describing. Okay, so... And it was horrific. So yeah, like I remember it like yesterday. I remember which classroom I was in at St. Mel's
Starting point is 00:49:29 and everyone got the TV rolled in and all the teachers are excited because the teacher is going. And then we see it and I remember being like, we all are kind of like, wait a minute. There's no way that thing isn't like exploded and it won't come back down or whatever. And then they were of like, wait a minute, there's no way that thing isn't exploded and it won't come back down or whatever. And then they were just like, okay.
Starting point is 00:49:49 And then they just rolled the thing back and we all just stayed in school and did our work. And teachers aren't crying and we are just, you know, that was it. No counseling, no what that was like. And yeah. Yeah, and I think that's why we parent the way we do. So many things are just so different than what,
Starting point is 00:50:12 how fucked up that was. And it was no one's fault. They didn't expect it. They thought it'd be a fun thing. Well, that is the reason that, I know the Punky Brewster episode is the reason that I wouldn't now have done that like Jeff Bezos one that No, I'm shatner did right because I thought that looked kind of fun and cool But I'm just like I'm waiting for every single one of those to go up and explode
Starting point is 00:50:35 Yeah They're the level that they can't the with when with these two people too is like there was a problem with the boosters And then there's a with the other ship they had a problem with that. It's like whatever is Technology that we're doing for space we just cannot get it together even the suits are wrong we just get around the city it's like we cannot all of the from back to the future and in the 80s or in the 90s whatever so it's a flying cars we're supposed to be flying around a thing we're supposed to be able to go through the wormhole we're supposed to be able to go through the black hole we can't do any any of it. Well, of course, people, you know,
Starting point is 00:51:05 a lot of people don't believe we ever went to the moon. And the first time I heard that was from Keenan Iverwains in the 90s when I was working on his late night talk show. He was the first person that I ever heard. Really? He was like, there's no way we went to the moon. That was the first time I ever heard that. And I go, he goes, it was a soundstage.
Starting point is 00:51:21 You can see, and he brought up all the things. Like who took the photo? And why would the flag be waving like that? And all these things that I was like, oh, whoa. And then like, and then I never heard it until like the last few years of like TikTok. But I'm telling you, he said it in 1997. That we tricked him to make the Soviets spend
Starting point is 00:51:44 all their money to go to the moon, right? That's in the movie that we just saw. Or the theory is maybe we went and then we're like, why don't we make a movie of it so that America gets excited? That's the other thought. We did go, but of course, you know, the astronaut wasn't calling Nixon on a landline in 1960,
Starting point is 00:52:04 whatever it was, and talking to him. I mean, like, of course, so they're like, well, of course that part. Yeah. Anyway. Just have Drakey Poo come in and tell us about what's going wrong with the Tesla. And that's pretty much what's going wrong
Starting point is 00:52:17 with whatever Elon Musk is doing going up there. All just like, can we get the window down or what? Do we have to get a special app? Now there's a glitch. And it's just like, dude. There's always a glitch with space. There's something about space that we cannot conquer. Obviously we, or it's not consistent.
Starting point is 00:52:33 That's inconsistent. Like we can do it a little bit and then it'll blow up. Well, Apollo 13 made it through that hole. I'm saying we can do it a little. And there's a space station. There's astronauts that are constantly living all the time now in a space station. Like all the time. So we it. I don't wear it. I mean they don't come home either No, they're there and they're in years and it's a money like
Starting point is 00:52:54 Yeah, and they just live up there eating their freeze-dried food, and it's like come on home. You're not doing any research You're all jerking off. I think that they're trying you know went to go see that alien movie, and he told me about it. Was it good? I mean, I acted like I was interested, because it was one of our last days together. But I was like, I don't need to see this movie, and I don't care about this weird alien. What about The Martian?
Starting point is 00:53:16 I love that movie. I don't care. Matt Damon? No? Oh, Matt Damon. Well, Alien's like out now. This is this TikToker Jules LeBron. And she became famous because a couple weeks ago,
Starting point is 00:53:29 she had a viral video go where she goes, very demure, very mindful. See how I wear my things? And everyone took the sound and celebrities did it, whether they were talking about their kids at a party or themselves. See how I drink my water? Very demure, very mindful. Well, everybody gets their kids at a party or themselves, see how I drink my water? Very demure, very mindful.
Starting point is 00:53:47 Well, everybody gets their dog in a wig. Very demure, very mindful. We do all those tricks. A bird is walking, very demure, very mindful. So unfortunately, she did not trademark it and just did a crying video that she since deleted and realized that this guy has trademarked it and he trademarked it and he's trademarked other sayings in the past
Starting point is 00:54:14 and things like that. So that now she was hoping that she went to go trademark it because she was like, all right, you know, people probably was like, you got to get the merch and everything like the something get the merch and everything, like the something about her merch, and then it's said it to Darryl, like you have this little window, Hawk Two girl, you know, to get it. And so I'm guessing someone will probably
Starting point is 00:54:37 start a fund or whatever, or at least go to the guy and be like, how much can we have it for? Yeah, he needs to be trolled. Yeah, he does. Oh, they've said who he is and everything, I much can we have it for he needs to be trolled? Yeah They've said who he is and everything in front of me this weekend Sutton and Kathy Hilton were dancing and they were thank God the DJ played Michael Jackson because that is her favorite Yes, and it was like pretty young thing or one of those songs that they were dancing to it and karaoke.
Starting point is 00:55:07 Kathy Hilton is doing karaoke in West Hollywood. She was singing it well. And their dancing was good too, even though, you know, they're tipsy, but they were good, I thought. I thought Kathy Hilton was... She had her estate sale this weekend and it cost $25 to go and it was mostly all of it was on the tennis court so I don't think you could be like walking through the rooms but it looked like there was there was some good stuff but some memorabilia and some fun stuff I also recognized a white pineapple bookcase thing that I got from Target was there I just thought of the. So I think there were some ran
Starting point is 00:55:45 and there's some good and some great. Like the time when you gave away things from your old office and included a gift Julie and I gave you. Yes, that was awful. Yeah, it's a good thing you didn't see anything you had previously given Cathy Hilton in the estate sale. Yeah, you're right.
Starting point is 00:56:03 That's the problem with doing a famous person's estate sale. Heather's going through a box. I'm giving away these Barbies and all this junk from my former office and pulls out the gift. I'm like, huh. No, we didn't care. Actually, did you give it back to us? I think I did because it was a really beautiful lighter and I go I just and I and Yeah, because I have the thumb problem I can't I can't work regular lighters and you said you were scared of fire that was scared of fire and lighters. Yeah And turning on a gas keep going turning things. I have carpal tunnel in my thumb Gold makes me have a reaction. I definitely don't have the strength to do that with the lighter. I don't okay Okay, right
Starting point is 00:56:47 This from the Bravo snark, but it's also from TMZ that Mauricio is out with his new girlfriend. They are just having fun. Okay, and And I saw Kyle was having fun taking some ass posting those, because her body looks good. And then I saw in her stories that this girl came out and was like out in the winter, and it was someone from, I think, Morgan's band. So I think she's hanging out with Morgan. Oh, good. I think you can't really,
Starting point is 00:57:17 you can't compete with like out in the wild, sexy photos with thirst traps. Like if I could give her advice, and I do, was gonna do a book called One Month and 10 Steps to Getting Your Ex Back. Usually after the end of this process, people won't want the ex back. But you know, I could say that, you know,
Starting point is 00:57:38 Kyle might not want to be remarried to him, but I guarantee you she wants his interest back. She's like, yes, right now. And the first thing she needs to do is stop posting thirst traps. Because they're not going to compare her. I don't care how good her butt looks to this. Well, um... Also, this chick's ass looks pretty nice, too.
Starting point is 00:57:54 Yeah. I mean... Well, Joey Lawrence, remember Joey Lawrence? Yeah. He allegedly had an affair. So he broke up with his wife of a couple years. And then this guy announced, yeah, because you had an affair with my wife.
Starting point is 00:58:11 They were doing a movie that the white, he was starring in and the wife wrote and directed it. It was called Socked for Christmas or something. It's like a holiday movie. And they had an allegedly, he had an affair with her and she was married as well. And now they're getting divorced and she's and the wife is asking for custody of the kid and everything.
Starting point is 00:58:31 Is that the wife or the affair? I think that's the wife. I mean, you can knock me over with a feather. I could have sworn you were gonna say an affair with a man, but. Yeah, it's so disappointing when it's not. Yeah. It's only a fun, it's only disappointing when it's not. Yeah, it's only a fun. It's only fun when it's that.
Starting point is 00:58:48 Anyway, here are stars that separated from their spouses after 20 years of marriage. And Meryl Streep has had her husband for 45 years. But they now they're not divorced, but they live separate lives. And she was you sent me this one. She was on the red carpet with Martin Short because they're both in-
Starting point is 00:59:10 Old murders in the building. Yeah, and they were holding hands and there were rumors prior to that, that they were romantic and he is a widower. He is a widower of many years. Yeah. His wife had died a long time ago. He was really in love with his wife
Starting point is 00:59:23 and they had a great love story. And let's never forget when Kathy Lee Gifford said, "'How's your wife?' on the Today Show." And then he said, "'She's good.'" And then everyone later was like, "'She's dead and you're drunk on wine, Kathy.'" And then Kathy felt so terrible, but he's such a sweet guy that he just wanted to,
Starting point is 00:59:44 he didn't want to make her feel terrible. Yeah, because it was a live show. Yeah. Yeah. But I, nothing could make our vaginas explode more than Meryl Streep, who is the best actor to ever live on the planet. To ever have lived on the planet, so come for us.
Starting point is 00:59:59 On the history of the world, including Shakespeare times, including Greek history times. We want the Oscars to be renamed the Merrells. Like it's Academy Awards, but that should be like, oh my God, I got a Merrell. That's how much we love her and think she's so good. And Martin Short and her. And Martin Short does the Jiminy Glick, right?
Starting point is 01:00:17 Yes. I could watch all day. And you guys, if you wanna die of something funny, just look up Jiminy Glick, Martin Short, just look up Jiminy Click, Martin Short, all these videos. He created this character like 30 years ago. And I know the guy that he got the idea from. It was this weird guy that had a cable access show.
Starting point is 01:00:42 I swear, because I remember the first time I saw it, I go, I know he came, I used to watch like weird cable access stuff back in the day, like I'd be back in the 90s. And it was just like, how'd you know me? And nobody could keep a straight face, and the things that he asks, and he just did a whole week, I think,
Starting point is 01:01:00 of Jimmy Kimmel doing it. Oh my God, but if I could just, if he could please do Meryl Streep, could he please do that? I know he probably doesn't, cause they're a couple and he doesn't wanna do it getting a weird character for her, but I- I mean, he might've done her before,
Starting point is 01:01:13 cause he's done everyone. We can look and see, we should look and see. I could just watch, I could literally watch, oh, if I'm ever on death row, along with my death row meal, I think I just want to watch those We have been in a in a in a Jiminy Glick k-hole So many times even believe and I would tell your audience cuz the one little known one is on Netflix Cuz you can go on YouTube. Yeah, you can Google it
Starting point is 01:01:37 But if you go on Netflix and look up it's like he does then it's like a Netflix Awards show No, it was the independent spirit of okay on that and Netflix had like it's like a Netflix Awards show it knows the independent spirit Oh, that's okay on that and Netflix had like a lobby like a little setup. Yeah him to interview people coming in Okay, and so it's available on Netflix, and it's like a half hour long and it's so good You just get you and it's live. It's so on a red carpet kind of fucking hilarious Plus though there's a movie called Jiminy Glick in La La Land and all which also worth watching. Yeah worth watching. I had to go watch Only murders in the building which I hadn't I tried whatever but then when I saw that that them I Immediately went right to the season 3 episode 1. Let me see Meryl Streep from the second. It's like she's just
Starting point is 01:02:22 me see Meryl Streep from the second. It's like, she's just amazing. So the rumor is that she always, that they had an agreement that she could always have affairs with her co-stars. With her husband and her? Yeah, because that always, and like, you know, I think there was a rumor that she got it on with Clint Eastwood in, what was that one
Starting point is 01:02:42 where she was the Italian one? Bridges Over the Madison? Yeah, Bridges of Madison County Jack Nicholson and yeah like any yes any kind of movie that she was like I'm doing it but then she was one of those people that then when the movie ended you know she backed up her vagina and left her trailer and that was that don't like butch and Sonny yeah the space is time's over okay I gotta go home She said on the view like it's like I feel like Julie's the one who told me this But it was like a famous thing on the view
Starting point is 01:03:10 This is the only reason I found out was because she was like they asked her about some old movie And I don't even remember which one it was and she was like, oh, I just spent the whole time in his trailer or something And I was like I might be Clint the Clint Eastwood one. I was like, I think that was I think so Yeah, she's fucking an icon. She is a Legend she even that's the first thought about drinking in a tub Okay, Bridges Madison. Yeah, he's like, would you like a beer or something in the tub? And I was just like Also, that's so nice. Why have I never thought of that? I was like young too, like so I'd probably just started drinking and I was like, oh, I never thought about drinking
Starting point is 01:03:48 and there's just always a smart thing to do. Yeah. Get wasted in a tub by yourself. Exactly. Make sure the water's real warm. Get nice and comfy. Hopefully you're real tired. Yeah, real tired. Plus she was lezzin' out with Cher in Silkwood. Let's not, for anybody that cares, I do.
Starting point is 01:04:04 But that was, oh my lord, I mean, so good. I don't know if she ever did lesbian affairs. In life, who knows? I think she's done it. Well, I gotta tell you about this. Have you heard about this? The new dance moms had this little girl, I saw the clip, apparently the dance, the new dance leader lady said, said I want you. Well, you guys saw it. So tell me, tell them
Starting point is 01:04:34 what happened. This girl's name is, uh, Ashlyn, Ashlyn. Um, she, she does look approximately 27. She looks like a little person. Yeah. Like an adult little person. She's so beautiful. And the way the makeup is and everything. She's so beautiful and mature in the face. They had her dress up like JonBenet,
Starting point is 01:04:54 so let me just say that first, okay? So go on, tell them what happened. Is that what this drama is about? Because there was never ending inappropriate dances on this season of this. So the clips I saw is that she goes, you're going to do a John Benet, Ramsay, a dance about it. She was kidnapped and murdered.
Starting point is 01:05:12 And so I need you to Google it and look it up. It's a little girl. So then she gets in her outfit with her hair and dresses like John Benet in a pageant. And when she's doing the dancing, like the interpret of dancing, she ends it choking herself. Cause they tell her she was strangled to death. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:05:29 You can't believe it. You just, yeah, it's un, it's almost, it's almost unwatchable, but it's so unbelievable. You have to keep watching. But I mean, the producers, when this happens, whether they put it in the lady's idea, or in the woman's head or not,
Starting point is 01:05:42 they just must be like filming it and then like literally doing a dance in the woman's head or not, they just must be like filming it and then like literally doing a dance in the back. Because they're like- They're like squeezing each other's hands like we can't believe this is happening. We cannot believe this is happening. There's no way anybody is like, maybe we shouldn't show this, no.
Starting point is 01:05:56 And you know, I don't wanna do a spoiler, but the very last final dance, which happens at Nationals, Okay. does involve, you know, body bags, and basically all of the children. Oh yeah. Wait, what? Tell, tell.
Starting point is 01:06:12 So they're not gonna get mad about a spoiler? No. I don't remember if it was like a mass shooting or school shooting. They did a dance about a school shooting? Yeah. Wait. Or, oh no, it was opioid overdose.
Starting point is 01:06:25 It's opioid. It's fentanyl overdose. It's fentanyl overdose. And then in preceding the dance, it's, my cousin died of a fentanyl overdose. And then they brought in some people. Kid died of an opioid overdose. Then she wanted them to do a dance where they all had this.
Starting point is 01:06:41 To get into body bags. Where all the girls, except for one, survive. And they all end up get into body bags to get into body where all the girls except for one survive And they all end up in a body bag Dead and then in a day there's a final girl in the middle and it's like well, of course You're gonna win nationals who's gonna go. I didn't like the one where they all died I'm gonna vote for the one where they did Michael Jackson, right? Oh my god Then touch it, touch it. Yeah, that's true.
Starting point is 01:07:06 Then there's one that's dressed up like Cathy Hill. Can you just play my best friend Michael Jackson's music? I'd like to see that. No, um... Throughout the whole season though, they did one where the little girl was upset because her husband was cheating on her. There was one where she's a 12-year-old girl, and then the teacher's like, you gotta be really upset, he cheated on you.
Starting point is 01:07:26 He cheated on you with another woman and it's like she doesn't have her period. And none of these people understand what you're talking about. He cheated on you with another woman. Your heart's broken, your heart's broken, your heart's broken and she's dancing around like her heart's broken because her husband cheated on her.
Starting point is 01:07:44 She's 12 There's she made two of them be lesbian girlfriends. Yeah, two of them be lesbian girlfriends Listen and that was the least offensive one. That was the least of all of them She's like this I don't see any chemistry you're out and that replaces them like and then all of a sudden the girls are like Let's make out we have anything to keep the part. We have chemistry like you are Wait, so then the 12-year-olds did kiss? No, they were younger. They didn't kiss.
Starting point is 01:08:07 Well, they kissed on the cheek, but they were needed to start. She kept being more chemistry. And they were younger than 12. Yeah, they were. The 12-year-old, that was someone whose husband cheated on her. But the lesbians were like, I hate. I mean, it was just like, what are we doing here?
Starting point is 01:08:22 Oh my god. Well, we just got a bunch more people to watch this thing Sister wives Christine Brown who is now married to her new husband that is coming back September 15th, and it looks like even Robin goes I feel like the the idiot who's still left like So I think she's gonna be the next one out. She is not happy being the last one left with Cody. Like literally just being a normal married person. And people always think that all her conversations are outside of her house and they're always cold,
Starting point is 01:08:54 you know, they're always sitting on like a park bench. And it's because people believe that she's like a total hoarder. And that's why they'll like never like film in her house. Well, Sister Wives is our thing together, us three. Or a shopaholic. If she leaves him this season, like, I don't know, we might have to do a special party or something, because that's going to be crazy.
Starting point is 01:09:20 Drew Barrymore says that they're doing two more seasons with our friend Ross Matthew but she said that she is going to work on more physical distance from her guess oh no no no no I don't think she should at all but then you and Julie won't be able to do this bit which you did on the top no literally you got onto Julie's lap no we will never if anything she needs to be more touchy with them. More. More. She needs to be like, how long have you been in acting? She needs to do all of it.
Starting point is 01:09:53 She needs to be like, yes. So Brandi, let me get this straight. You and Julie were in China, and she doesn't have a passport. How does a friendship withhold a situation like that? Because I have some good girlfriends, and Ross and I are besties, but I don't know. Am I a bad person? And then, that's what I need.
Starting point is 01:10:23 Then she straddles. Then she straddles. It's like she needs to get close because it makes her like comprehend more and that's why I don't want it to stop. No. You think that's her how she is able like her listening comprehension is sort of based on like getting more and more closer otherwise she gets distracted? Yeah I think that's her thing and I think it's her way of showing people that she really cares. Yeah, don't stop your thing.
Starting point is 01:10:49 Don't stop, it's your thing. Yeah. This girl, Jasveen, speaking of like drugs, this is Jasveen Sanja. She's the one that was known as the ketamine queen. Oh. What is going on with her? So she met Brooke Mueller,
Starting point is 01:11:10 and Brooke Mueller and Matt Perry also met. Brooke Mueller is Charlie Sheen's ex, who's been in, I don't even know how many rehabs. And one thing about rehab is you're, you know, meeting a bunch of people, and that also have drug problems and they also know how to get the drugs and unfortunately that's how they all met.
Starting point is 01:11:30 This lady? Yes, and so then when he got, so they, Brooke Mueller is not being looked at as a criminal or anything, but she's part of the investigation because she, I don't know if she put them together or what because there's all these other people. There's two doctors, his assistant,
Starting point is 01:11:46 that gave him the drugs. But she grew up in Calabasas, and then she went to University of UC Irvine. Then she got her master's in England. Then she came back and opened a nail salon, but that failed. So then she got into selling ketamine and killing people. I mean, unbelievable. So that was it.
Starting point is 01:12:10 And then this doctor, the doctor who's in charge, they let him reopen his medical practice. He just has to put a sign on the door saying, I killed Matthew Perry. I helped kill Matthew Perry. Because they're saying he was doing that thing where they do ketamine therapy. Because that's like a thing.
Starting point is 01:12:27 Was he prescribed that from this man? He was giving huge amounts to the assistant who then was doing it, taught the assistant how to do it. That's just like what happened with Michael Jackson. It's just like a drug dealer is a drug dealer. I don't personally, if you're a person who takes drugs, if you buy drugs off the street, like that's on you. I don't blame anybody else, but a doctor?
Starting point is 01:12:50 Yeah. That you, now you are to blame. You are a doctor prescribing big amounts of drugs to someone where you know what it'll do and you're, no, now you're done. You're done, you gotta be done. Kylie Jenner feels betrayed by Timothee Chalamet. I just wanna say, I completely forgot
Starting point is 01:13:07 that these two even were a couple. Don't you feel like just nobody's talking about the Kardashians the way we used to? Yeah, I really do. And I think that's fine. Like they've made their billions, they all have their own company. I just am like, I don't hear anybody like watching the show on Hulu.
Starting point is 01:13:29 And I just wonder how many more years they have to do it. Because it just seems like they don't even want to, they don't even do like the scenes together. Like they can't even be bothered to like. And it's so, so, so produced that even when you knew it was produced on E, to some extent, you always felt like there was an A storyline that was real and then a B storyline with the Modigliani or whatever. Where Courtney and Scott go to a yard sale
Starting point is 01:13:56 and find a Modigliani, et cetera. It's like, okay. But we still enjoyed those fake storylines, but there was a lot of real stuff in it and you knew ultimately that even though they had control, like with Ryan Seacrest, they had ultimate like, final say on the editing, or Chris did, you still knew there was a part of it where.
Starting point is 01:14:14 I was in one of those fake storylines, I just remember. You were in so many, we would gag, like you'd be walking in to go do yoga and shit, we'd be like, there's Heather! The yoga one, the yoga one was where I, I'll tell you exactly what happened. They were like, can you come over and like have drinks and with Chris and film?
Starting point is 01:14:35 And I'm like, totally. So then I get there and they're like, just wait a minute. And then Chris came and then they're like, just you guys are gonna act like you just came back from shopping, but I had not walked in the house yet. And then we walk in the house and that's when we see Kim doing pregnant ballet, pregnant ballet. And so that, I was surprised to see her
Starting point is 01:14:57 and these other women. And, but the other one that I did was, the storyline was Scott has no friends. It was Scott has no friends, so therefore can I come over and do some stuff with Chris and these other friends of hers who I knew that were lovely, and then Scott's going to participate because he has no friends. So we had to do the painting. Oh yeah, that old chestnut. Yeah, and then
Starting point is 01:15:26 we did water aerobics in the pool. Now water aerobics is different. They don't do that on Housewives, but that painting too. You know, it was supposed to be like, you know, the law, and then we got the scene done, then you know. Scott went ahead and left. Scott left and then Chris had to go do something, but I said, can I stay here? Can I stay and enjoy the pool? And I did. I stayed for like do something. But I said, can I stay here? Can I stay and enjoy the pool? I did. I stayed for like another two hours. They said, her assistant, Matthew, came out and said,
Starting point is 01:15:50 Chris had to leave, but you're welcome. Do you need any chardonnay or any snacks or anything? I said, yes. Go ahead in that organized pantry, all the jars and the labels, get me some snacks. I totally stayed and I went swimming. I think that when it was on E, there was an element that when you watched it,
Starting point is 01:16:06 you knew first of all the Salads, which of course are still present on the Hulu show, but you knew that they didn't have full control and that there was still stuff they didn't want in them. And there was a lot of crazy stuff with Scott and Courtney and even just a ton of stuff. Now with Hulu, it's just not like that at all. And also just if you follow them, you know,
Starting point is 01:16:27 it just, even though they had social media, it was like, we really were watching stuff that was happening. Like now everything, that's why I'm like, if they ever were to do a show again, I'd almost be like the turnaround time has to be like a week and you've got to hold your social media or something. I feel like something has to be done to get the interest going again.
Starting point is 01:16:47 It's happening with housewives too, where the storylines proceed on social media. Do you guys know that there's a whole thing called hobby horsing? I have seen clips of this. Young girls just take a stick with a little stuffed animal head on it, that's a pony, and they like leap, they do like they're really on a horse, a stick with a little stuffed animal head on it that's a pony.
Starting point is 01:17:06 And they leap. They do like they're really on a horse. But it doesn't look difficult at all. And then some people are like, hey, at least those kids are off their phone and moving, stop being a bitch. But it is kind of weird. It's like a real sport. There's competitions and stuff.
Starting point is 01:17:21 Yeah. Right? I thought maybe it was going to the Olympics. I wasn't sure. Because I saw a full thing like that like they're in a full competition like they would with a normal horse That I just do I don't even it's okay to criticize JLo for having a Bridgerton party in midsummer But we're not gonna say that this is bizarre Like you're honest you're riding a stick with a horse head on the end and jumping over and acting like you do with a horse
Starting point is 01:17:45 So they they're doing, they're doing. Good job. Yeah, but then they're doing it like they would, like you would, if you were in a competition with a horse, what do they do with a horse? Yeah, yeah, yes, yeah. Like, I don't know the names of things, like a harboune and a doobadoo and a dooboune or whatever
Starting point is 01:18:00 and they go over the jumps. Yeah. They do all the things you would do with a horse, but they do it with a stick. It's weird. It's weird and also like, didn't you get like a little bit of rouse doing that? Yeah you're riding a stick. Yeah, just a stick like right on your... But also I went down a rabbit hole of these people that they call it cosplay mothering. And they have this
Starting point is 01:18:28 one girl, she has like four kids, but they're all like those fake dolls. Like the realistic baby ones? Yeah. And sometimes she just, the last time she just was like, I can only take one. So she only took one on the trip where everybody was there. And then I've seen people like actually went to a hotel, I've been to a And then I've seen people actually went to a hotel. I've been to a hotel where I've seen a furry convention. That's pretty scary. But then someone filmed like, oh my god,
Starting point is 01:18:51 I'm at a hotel where everybody's with their fake babies and like, oh, can I see your fake baby? And then she's like, they're like, point of view. Yeah, she's like, point of view. She filmed herself coming home. You haven't seen your two other kids for two days. And then she like... Meaning her baby dolls.
Starting point is 01:19:09 Yeah, and then she like hugs them. And then she, you know, she has a dad and she's single. You mean she has a father for the dolls? No, she has her own dad. Oh, okay. That's obviously like... Okay. So then they had a beach day.
Starting point is 01:19:24 They had a beach day and they, there was beach day and there was a lot to bring. But is she a child or is she an adult? No, she's like a 30 something. And so the dad is there like an old grandpa and she is like, my first time my twins are gonna get their feet wet in the water and she's like, twins. I can't. I just can't. And she's like, come on Gampy, Gampy, come put the twins in the water.
Starting point is 01:19:46 I mean, what? Madison McKenzie. I think he's kind of like, I raised this girl, and you know what, at least she's happy. True. And whatever it is, he's just like, okay. Well, whatever it is that he may be, I mean, responsible for.
Starting point is 01:20:00 But yeah, it's like, you know what I mean? But these people, what about the guys who have full relationships with life-sized dolls? Oh, there's this other guy that's, there's this Asian guy that is, wait, hold on. I'm gonna find this really quick and then we're gonna wrap it up because I know it's here. Okay.
Starting point is 01:20:21 This guy had a full-on wedding. He says he's fictosexual. And he had a wedding with a little anime doll. He married, it's not a doll that he can have sex with, it's just an anime doll. This is what gay people get blamed for, okay? This is what gay people get blamed for. If you get married, he's gonna get married to a doll.
Starting point is 01:20:44 And you know what? He did. And he did. And married He's gonna get married to a doll and you know what he did And he did and we're all gonna get blamed for it The wedding and stuff like people were there they were just like you know what we're super happy that Jimmy is And then those parents you know what I'm settling down And then those parents need to be friends with the grandpa that has to take his fake grandchildren dolls to the beach. And you know what they have in common? They all saw the challenger blow up in the classroom. And these are their kids now.
Starting point is 01:21:16 Oh, shit. Let's hope not. Let's hope not. Full circle. Why does he have a full circle moment? Girls. Yes. Girls, tell everyone where they can get more Brandi and Julie in their lives.
Starting point is 01:21:28 Well, we have a free podcast every Tuesday called Dumb Gay Podcast. Anywhere you get your podcasts. You can go to julieandbrandi.com, that's Julie and Brandi spelled out, Brandi with a Y. You can just Google Julie and Brandi podcast. We also have a Patreon. We do that three times a week.
Starting point is 01:21:46 There's plenty of tiers to fit all budgets. Oh yeah. And the free podcast is right now until the election is very political. So if that's not your jam, check out our Patreon because that's not political at all. But you might want the fun political stuff, and you might want to know what's going on,
Starting point is 01:22:08 and that's where you go and get it from your two girls that you know and love. We talk about politics like we talk about reality TV. We want it to be fun, we want everybody to be able to be included. It doesn't matter where you, whatever you think. Oh, I can't be part of the conversation, I don't know enough. You know enough.
Starting point is 01:22:24 If you pay taxes, you have a seat right of the conversation, I don't know enough, you know enough. If you pay taxes, you have a seat right at the table. We all deserve to be there. Lovely, lovely. And of course you're gonna see us in Vegas. So get your tickets, then book your room, hopefully at the Venetian, because that's where we'll be struttin' around.
Starting point is 01:22:41 We're gonna be hurlstrip. But if not, you just go there, get your tickets at HeatherMcDowell.net for September 20th before they sell out because you will be bummed. It's gonna be juicy, it's gonna be funny, as always. Thank you.

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