Juicy Scoop with Heather McDonald - Kelly Ripa, Vanderpump, Erasing Women with Chris Franjola

Episode Date: April 20, 2023

I am going on tour! Get tickets at https://heathermcdonald.net/ Chris Franjola and I are looking for hookups when we are in Las Vegas together. Why did Kanye open a school, and why is he scared of stairs? Millie Bobby Brown is engaged, and there is a reason why more young people are choosing to get married now. There are specific stories you should never tell on a podcast. Men are modeling lingerie, and people fear this is all heading in the direction of one day erasing women. Did Jessie James Decker’s sister get humiliated while flying? I have a theory based on being a pregnant mom myself. AI is getting terrifying.  Get extra juice on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/juicyscoop https://heathermcdonald.net/ Subscribe on Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@JuicyScoop/featured Follow me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/heathermcdonald/ Follow me on TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@heathermcdonald?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc Follow me on Twitter: https://twitter.com/HeatherMcDonald Follow Chris on Instagram @chrisfranjola Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Head of McDonald Has got the Choo-Six Scoop When you're on the road, when you're on the go Choo-Six Scoop is the show to know She talks Hollywood tales Her real life, Mr. Sanctuaryal Data And serial sister, you'll be addicted And a-dixit fast to the number one tabloid real life hot cat

Listen in, listen up. Woo, woo, and a McDonald. Juicy scoop. Hello, and welcome to Juicy scoop. I have the original favorite old blue eyes, Chris from Jolla. Hello, yeah. Old, older than ever, blue eyes.

Why do you say that? Because I've been on the road. I was on the road for two weeks, driving around the south and rent a car. And I felt, I feel like it aged me a lot. Okay. Yeah. I don't know, I think you look good.

Thank you. You can find out by subscribing to my YouTube, and liking and leaving comments. Get those subscription numbers up, people. I always look at it right here. I always look at it on YouTube. I always look at our YouTube. It's well lit. And I like that.

Thank you. So I appreciate that. I'm going to try his heart. Thank you. Yeah. Speaking of which, you are coming on the road with me. And I hope I make it as fancy as other competing female comedians who have had you with them.

But I don't think I can. I'm no fortune fiefster. I'm just Heather McDonald. i just want to say that fortune there was a car it was that picked us up at the airport i had my wife and my child with me and they went above and beyond i never said you could not bring your family to when we go to vagus i know you went to vagus with fortune but we're going to be in vagus for a live juicy scoop which is different than the standup, but it's juicy or it's funny.

Everything at the Venetian on May 27th, and we're going to be there Friday night just to get our feet wet. Right. I have absolutely no plants, no connections in Vegas. No hookup at all. So I'm putting it out to you people that lit work in Vegas have a restaurant whatever Chris and I and Justin and Spencer and your spouses maybe not maybe I don't know We would like to have a fun dinner situation

Right happening maybe to Lila's maybe some other place. It's like that Possibly Friday night then we do our show Saturday night and then after the show we want to like hit another hot spot yes one uh... but also can i just say it's got to be a legitimate connection it can't be my cousins of bus boy at this place he might be able to uh... it's got to be a good one we don't want to be standing around right trying to call the bus boy and he's

his page is off no if you're listening to this and you are actually the person right yes and you can uh... you can send it to the real how the McDonald gmail dot com or how the McDonald management gmail dot com we have some time to get this shit together i want to make it a perfect weekend that what about the vanish and what about a pool situation? What about like an afternoon pool because it's got to be also also looking for that But I cannot have anybody drinking in my pool situation. I'm not a drinker. I know I need I need like we

Sharp so that we can have some drinks Friday and we can have drinks after the show But yeah, and we but we can go to pool of situation and have some fun. Okay. Which then we will talk all about the pool. I just want to say that he's. They will talk all about the pool and the night before on the live GC skid. Perfect, exactly. So, I mean, that's the GC skid.

I want to say, I just want to say, for you to not put these parameters on me, I was able to drink at the pool if I chose to. I didn't, but I'm a professional. I've never worried about you. Yeah. You know what I ran into in the pool in Vegas and she said to say hi and she was very happy to hear about all your success.

Tig Nataro. Really? I happen to be swimming in the pool and I were running to Tig and we were chatting for a long time. We had a nice chat. Tell me everything. Yeah, and she said,

she said, I, you know, she, I know as juicy scoop and says, that's great for Heather. Tell her I said hi, I haven't seen her forever. Anyway, it was fun. We talked for a long time. Well, there was this little weird thing with TIG and Cheryl that happened.

Oh, really? So Cheryl hides in TIG. I've known Cheryl since. I've known both of them really long. But I knew Cheryl from Groundlings. OK. And we were pretty close. Because to be honest, she was like, in my opinion,

the prettiest girl in Sunday company besides me. Oh right. And at that time female comedians were not that pretty. That's like a brown. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. There was Jennifer Coolidge who was ahead of us. I thought she was the prettiest in the company. And then I thought Cheryl was next prettiest and then I thought me. So I climbed on to Cheryl and I was like, let's go to the Mondrian across the street, Skybar, because I call and I say I'm calling from the Ford Monley Agency to get my girls on the list. I would put our names on the list. Wow.

So we had some fun and now they have a podcast and they do this thing where they were like trying to call me or something. Wait, Cheryl Hines and take have a podcast? Yes, and they were like trying to call me and people are like, they're trying to call you and you aren't answering or so. I'm like, I have had the same number for a very long time. Like, again, I think Peter set up my phone number

when we were dating, also real creepy. But anyway, it's the same number out of our very, so I mean, I don't know. So I think they might have thought that like, I have any kind of beef. I don't, I love them both. And I'm ready to go back to the sky bar with both of them right now tomorrow.

Yeah. Is it still there? The sky bar? Yes. Is it really? Yes, they just featured it in Vanderpromp rules for Guy still there. The sky bar. Yes. Is it really? Yes, they just featured it in Vanderpromp rules for Guy's Night. Oh, okay. And in all that scandal stuff, they have a scene at the sky bar.

And then that is the first night that Tom screwed his mistress, Raquel, afterwards. She drove him allegedly, drove him home to his house and they got together. I also feel like this though, when it's available for television shows It's not as hot as it used to be you know what I mean like they like we can prep crammers in here because there's nobody here So yeah 100% so that means it's it needs which is why they would I'm sure welcome us. Oh Absolutely get in there. No problem. I Love it. I always love the sky bar. Yeah.

So anyway, and then you and I are hitting the East Coast in August. Oh, then we got, okay, we got Las Vegas. San Diego is my biggest place ever, which is the Humphries by the Bay in San Diego. It's an outdoor venue. Outdoor venue, which whenever, when I was a little girl. Uh-huh. There was Uh Carly Carly Wilson. Wait, Carly Simon. Carly Simon. Carly Wilson. Two different people. Carly Simon. Yeah She did a concert. You're so vain. Carly Simon. Yes. Anticipation. All of it. Oh, it's great song.

Anticipation. And then um she did this other song anyway. Let the river run. That's an empowering song. Yes, okay. So anyway, she did a concert. I believe in Martha's Vineyard. Yeah, it's her hometown. That is like a classic video. And I saw it as a little girl. And it was at the golden hour. And it was like obviously they're like on the beach somewhere yeah and I'm like one day I'm going to perform by the sea right like her oh wow I manifested it yeah I won't be singing or maybe I will right and I really should think I really you should sing that song. I really should. You should sing that song. No, I should do. Yeah.

I would have listened to all her songs. I'm going to start working on it. I'm going to hit a couple karaoke bars in between for practice. And I think this could happen. No. Yeah. Anyway. Well, that's exciting.

That's all happening. And then you're coming with me to the East Coast to uh... how do you say this mash it took it match and took it that's it that's it that's a key that's a key that's a key that's in canadicate and then i i don't know really short huntington new york that is my hometown of long island huntington i know it very well okay so that i think you better pack it out for me that's at august twelve the other ones august eleventh and then uh... a red bank new jersey august tenth and then a red bank new Jersey August 10th

and then the West Hampton Beach, New York. Once again, Long Island, down there on Long Island. Yes, so I'm going to stay out there. Yeah. I am reaching out to friends that have nice big mansions. Yeah. And I'm hoping I can stay with them, but you and I will stay at like a sad holiday and during these other ones. Yeah, no, I can't. I'm actually much more comfortable staying at a sad holiday in the name and somebody. I you have such a comfort level of staying at people's homes that I could not have. I just can't hear somebody say, no, you got to fill the late last night. I heard you pee. I'm want it i don't want that well i don't have a great time yeah thank you so much but you know who's also

going to be in vegas in august airca jane all she is back and she has announced she is doing a rites she says it's a residency it's eleven shows that's a they consider that a residency now. I think I wrote her Congrats girl. Congrats. And all the info she just announced it. She's back performing.

And a residency at what venue? House of Blues. It's Mandalay Bay, I think. House of Blues in a minute. So anyway, good for her, you know, trying to copy my thunder. I don't know how to show the idea of performing in Vegas. Clearly, I invented it yet no who goes to that who goes to the erica jane show

i think i think a lot of uh... bravo fans and gay guys for sure and i mean it's like i mean she really can perform and she really can sing and her songs are really fun right so i do think if you had a girls weekend and juicy scoop live is unavailable that weekend, I would say yes, go do this, get your dinner,

whatever, that could be fun. That could be fun, so good for her. So you're probably wondering what did happen to the dawned Academy? I was wondering. It's Kanye West's amazing school. Where is the school located? Is it is it here? It's somewhere like in the West Valley or like Calabas, the search. Now children go to the school.

Children go to the school. What I understood is that from everything I researched allegedly, it sounded like the only people really going there were like his employees' kids. Okay. That were probably a little bit feeling like they better go so that their dad keeps a job. Right. That's my understanding because I don't know who else would go. But he did hire real teachers and now the real teachers are suing because they said there was a lack of safety at the school, including only serving sushi. Okay.

So the school served sushi every single day and the students were not allowed to bring outside food or drink other than water That would be so hard because my kids were picky eaters and every year we had to give them an earthquake kit Yeah, like the school. St. Mal's required an earthquake kit, right and they're like make sure you have like a can of tuna or whatever And I'm like my kid would die before he ate a can of tuna So like but I was also like, even in the worst part of quick, like I can walk over the rubble and get you. Like we're close enough.

You don't need to sleep with a foil blanket on. Right. But we still had to do it. But we never replace the food. So every year they'd be like, we make sure you replace the food and bring out your computers like, no, just take that save. Okay, like you're fucking like, and I want to say, they also had like, sardines and like, weird shit

that would last forever. But anyway. So, and food like. Yes, like, no, my kid would die, okay. Under the ruffle eaten kidney beans. He made sure the sushi was nice, because he spent 10K a week on sushi. Two of them are suing because he allegedly violated

multiple Department of Education requirements and did not follow state regulations. Employees were improperly paid. There were only two female black employees and they were mother daughter, one taught third grade and the other taught fifth. Oh, so it's like an actual school. Yeah, the school band crossword puzzles and coloring sheets. They were required to wear black head to toe.

You know how he doesn't like colors Yeah, big fishing boots big rubber fishing boots They're banned for using any type of utensils so they need to sushi with their hands and But we like the sushi from Ralph's you were saying you like that. I like it It's like $7.99 and they definitely don't, but then, but I get nervous when you, you like it when you see it, that is for five. Yeah, because I think you have to 3 p.m. They stick a sticker on it, five bucks. It's not normally like $8.99, $7.99, but then it, you know, I gotta get rid of it. They gotta move it. Five bucks. So, and I discovered sushi in college, never had had it. This guy, obviously wealthy, right? Like, like, took me to sushi

in this place in Westwood. And then I introduced my sister Shannon to it. And I knew it was expensive. And I like, you know, I always hear my mom's voice about, you know, like, fish is more expensive than chicken. If you're on a date, order the fish. Oh, really? Yes, always. I like, so I'm always like, you know, and even now Shannon,

I like, Shannon's like the other day my sister, she's like, because we're trying to like, dot eat as much and like, get out of our weird were like, she had it's like the other day by sister. She's like, because we're trying to like, dot eat as much and like get out of our weird like, valley recession from the 90s point of view of like, clean your plate. Yeah. She's like, I threw away half of a salmon salad. I'd heard mom's voice in my head.

I'm like, I know what's like, I just, it's so hard to like throw away food. My kids are so grossed out about our doggy bags. Both she had it's kids admiring like, mom, if you bring over home those leftovers, I'm going to kill you. You can never eat them. I'm like, shut up.

Anyway, so I discover that you know, you could do all you could eat sushi at this place. I take my sister and I fucking ate so much and I puked all night and I had a wedding the next day to go to. Oh no. And that's when I then I read some article like, yeah. so much and i puked all night and i had a wedding the next day to go to no and that's when i then read some article like yeah and all you can eat place on a specific night means

that you're to eat at that day because the net they have to throw it out the next day so i never did that again all but i'm not saying rulfs is doing anything wrong i love them okay so anyway moving on the school band crossword puzzles okay. No classes were allowed to take place on the second floor because Kanye was afraid of stairs. Because the Zulls the Act is also, no, she's afraid of elevators. Anyway, she's a weird housewife that used to be around. Yeah. Well, hopefully she's now to school with the second floor. You know, I feel like that. He should have to school with a, if he was afraid of stairs, he could have built one floor.

You know, it was weird. I guess his house was Kim didn't have two stairs. How great though if it did have a second story and then she'd, every time she got a no it was just like, I'm going upstairs. And he's like, damn. Ha, ha, ha, ha. He did not allow chairs so kids had to sit on foam cushions.

Wow. Some teachers did not have a curriculum. The mother daughter do all names Haley and our Haley and buyers are seeking one million for loss wages and emotional distress. I think we're going to have a hard time getting that money. Yeah, I also feel like this is a little bit on the, if you send your kids to the Kanye West Don De Academy, it's a little bit on you. You know, this probably better schools.

Like the Will Smith, Jada Pinkett. They had one. They didn't Mel Gibson have some sort of weird school church or something. He had a Catholic church that was going back like a hundred years to call us. He didn't like Vatican II that happened like in the sixties. So he had to go back to like all Latin and everything, you know. Like in his yard, it was like in his backyard. Yeah, so he'd have mass there and then he would go over

to what was the restaurant move? He'd go moon shadows and scream at the cops. Sugar tits or something. Oh boy. Anyway. And then of course Oprah famously had an old girl school. She did and yeah. There was some conspiracy controversy about if that school was really for the good of the girls. There's been

some rumors that it was not so great. Well yeah, I think that was yeah. But I don't really know enough about it. Yeah. And I still want to talk and get some more information. Hahaha. Um, um, anyway, I, uh, yeah, but, but will and Jada, they, um, that school didn't last either. Yeah. And I don't think Willa, Willow orow or Jaden like ever finished high school. Is there some sort of tax break or something to have a school? Why would you ever want to do such a

thing? I don't know. There's tax breaks are having churches. I do that. I don't know about I think the same thing like it seems like the most like. First of all, that reason right there alone also to lawsuit. I feel like it's a heavy you could be sued for a million different reasons. Yeah. Yeah. It's not. It's so interesting like thinking about what's a good, what's a good new business and what's not. Yeah. And I was talking to my friend who also does my nails and she was like, oh, I was at Menchis the other day and they were trying to sell the franchise and they said, this is recession proof and she's like, I guess we're really in a recession. I'm like, but wait a minute. I think frozen yogurt place is kind of a genius place to own.

Think about it. The food doesn't really go back because it's frozen. The people can serve themselves. It's not like you're dealing with a hot grill. You're like one or two teenagers can run the joint. Right. And all you do is just weigh it. Like it's kind of a good, it is kind of a good business. I also think though it's one of the things like

if you, if it is a recession, you cut out your frozen yogurt, you know, I feel like that's one of the things you're like, we don't need frozen yogurt tonight. You do? I think it's kind of the thing that's like that's your one. Like we're not going to go out to a fancy dinner, but we'll walk to Frozen Yoga. Yeah. Also, I think it's a great business if you know how people in the olden days would have a lot of kids to run their farm. I think if you're like a mom that wants to have a job

and you haven't really had a job but you have a couple kids maybe, like your kids are like 13, 15 and 16. Yeah. You open that place and they can all work there and work at the frozen play and work it's not a bad way it's available and it's near a man she's yeah

alright the fall for ball yeah um... okay uh... Kelly rippa and mark cunstroy los yeah are the most annoying people on earth right and there has literally been we are doing the research I believe there's been over between 472 and 489 articles written about how hot their sex life is. Yeah. From page six to people magazine I just don't I don't know if you know but they've been married for 20 years and they fuck all the time. Did

you know that? I like here about it. Yeah. How do you hear it? They tell you. Yeah. They tell me. Yeah. So they got rid of Ryan C. Cress which nobody really knows the reason Well, I got to say I follow C. Cress on Instagram and he's never looked more relaxed and enjoying his life than the last couple of days since the Kelly and Ryan show has been as ended. He's like making smoothies in his kitchen. Why do you hate the job? I wonder if he just took the I always remember he was one of those people that He's like making smoothies in his kitchen. Like he's having a job. I wonder if he just took the, I always remember, he was one of those people that was like, who was that other person that Dick Clark

or whatever? He came from the philosophy of like, I'm never gonna like a Joan Rivers, I'm never gonna turn down anything, I don't care how rich I get. And I don't know if it's mutual, like they wanted him to leave and he wanted to leave, but I definitely don't think he's sad about it.

No, I think he's loving. I definitely don't think he's sad about it. And I think he kind of accepted it because it was one of those things like, I always thought I'd host a talk show. And how can I turn it down when at 10 years old, I always thought I'd have a TV talk show. And then he did it. And he was like, why the hell am I doing this on the East Coast? I can come back to California, I can do American Idol.

I can live in like my $50 million house. Yeah, and he doesn't million other things too, right? Right, no. And so, but anyway, so she got Mark and Swallows. And I already had predicted like it would always be about them screwing and their kids walking in on them. And a million stories about that, which it hasn't. It's gotten worse.

Yeah, I heard their view, people would people would care some of the reviews that came out uh... brutal last time i watch i can go to the mall and watch teenagers kiss less the beginning of the end wait a minute how old is this guy that he's going to the mall to watch the like i don't even get the kids know the kids are even at the mall and i don't like docket i've such a documentary recently where they're explaining what a mall is.

Oh, yeah. They were like, so a mall was a thing, you guys. I'm like, if I want to documentary about something in history and they're explaining what a mall is, I'm like, I probably know what this story is in history and I don't need to watch it. This was a place where you'd actually go buy something and you could try it on in person and touch it. Like we're seriously saying that.

Nothing depresses me more than a said closed down. Some cities you go to to do stand up and you go to the mall and it's just like all the stores are closed down. They have the new stores. I just one frozen yogurt place. Hi. There it. I've seen like so said. And then not even the name brand places like it's you know it's not foot locker yeah it's like a little bit off you know it's like but they still sell sneakers you know Jimmy sneakers or whatever it's yes sometimes small daily actions really make a big difference especially when it comes to caring for your hair a little goes a long way yes I am loving my way products

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boring. You're pretty look at, but I'm, I'm the funny one. I'm the funny one. And I watched a little and it is pretty boring and they talk about the relationship with the top and everything that they used to go running. Now they barely can walk in the park because they're so old. I'm like, what are you talking about? And then she thinks she's so funny and she recorded him storing and she played it, which gave critics even a better chance to make fun of it because they're like, it's a snooze fast. Yeah. Clearly, when I come to New York in a couple of weeks,

I will not be invited to be on. To tell you into it, yeah. Yeah. You better off probably. But anyway, I really kind of think, listen, I have recorded Peter's story before. But I am proud to say, and I've revealed a lot about my life, and I have never played it on stage or on the show.

I think it's kind of fucked. Why do you record it to play for him the next day? Only once I did and he did get like this operation. That was pretty painful. And it like, I don't. Does it work? Does he still snore? It got much better.

It got much better, but it's still on occasion. And on occasion I've been told I've like snored When I'm like so dead tired or I've had like eight drinks either or So it could happen and I think it's like such I The few times I slept in a guy's house that wasn't Peter and they if they ever told me that I snored I Never wanted to see them again. That is I was so horrified and I was just like I just think that it's so embarrassing Right, that is. I was so horrified. And I was just like, I just think that it's so embarrassing. Yeah.

And it is embarrassing. I don't know why. It's so embarrassing. Why is it so embarrassing? You're fucking asleep. How are you supposed to do? What are you just not supposed to breathe? And it's also just like a bodily thing, you know?

It's, yeah. It's so. I mean, it is really annoying to the, you know, to the spouse or the girlfriend or whatever. And, you know, where you're just like, I would always just say, readjust your body. That's what I said. Readjust your body.

I get that one. Just readjust your body. Yeah. Um, yeah. I don't snore. I do some sort of weird breathing thing and my wife will just go, okay, roll over because you're doing the, I go, like I'm blown up a balloon and my wife recorded it one time and it's so strange. Yeah, but yeah, well, hope you could ever have a talk show because that's going to be the first

to come out. Yeah, but I always just imagine the producers being like, oh, my God. That is funny. That's relatable. That is relatable. Let's. Yeah. This is what I say about when eventually a show gets to this. We had been gone running forever and she's obviously the star of the show and whatever she says goes. And then you surround it, you surround yourself with yes people who just want to keep

their job, you know, so executive producer is on board, everything, ever, no matter what you, we did it. You know, we've all done it. Oh, that's a great idea. And it's, we all know it's the worst. But I like, we got to get a check on Friday. So the next thing you know, you're, you're playing somebody snoring and it's we all know it's the worst but we like we we got to get a check on Friday so the next thing you know you're you're playing somebody snoring and it you think it's all great and you go happy out with your other writers on

the show and you're like I can give you a specific example yeah I know okay yeah you know a lot of any game I I'm gonna guess and tell you for right okay doesn't involve chunk yes being dressed up in a sexual outfit The dawn it's you're involved. No, it's always chunk having sex with Jenny McCarthy. Yes, well Yes, it's a beach reality Jones. It was a beachy alley joke Yes, and then and then reveal was these are Chelsea lately days Yes, the reveal was then we show a picture of chunk and they superimposed Jenny McCarthy's head on chunk.

That was like the joke. Like they had a baby. Oh, they had a baby. They had sex, the dog. And Jenny McCarthy had a baby. The dog cheated on Chelsea with Jenny McCarthy. Yes. And then they had like a baby, like you did with the,

remember that scene in Invasion of the Body Snatchers where like the bum's remember that scene in invasion of the body snatchers Where like the bum's face comes out and half of the bum? Yeah, right right. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, exactly. So that's what it was Yeah, and we all sat down like great idea because we all knew we like does a check coming on Friday And then we all then we were break from the writer's room and then I would go into your and Jen's room And I would shut the door and then we would talk shit. It was my favorite I would go into your and Jen's room and I would shut the door and then we would talk shit. That was my favorite. That was my favorite. Or I'd be like, oh, turn it on, shit, things.

And then when we were in the universe a lot, then we'd be like, want to get a coffee? Yeah. Oh, the greatest. The greatest coffee walk ever talking shit about the stupid stuff we had to do. I know, Steve Mom will see you sitting next to me. He would always under his breath and go, oh my god. What are we doing? ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha wait first you said uh... the they do the linked to the okay they also said kelly says that she and mark are also taking about of chastity i don't know that's another ploy because maybe they said to we're talking about sex to much now or not i don't know

then all okay okay they did a little fun to joke because of amie make sure you clean this up so i can say so then they did a funny joke saying we're not gonna have sex at all because of amie sure you clean this up so I can say. So then they did a funny joke saying, we're not gonna have sex at all because of Amy Roboc and TJ. Holmes.

They got in trouble because they had sex. I'm still waiting for them to announce their podcast. They have not. Yeah, I feel like the heat, they should have announced it when the heat was on. The heat's, I feel like it's gone down a little. Then the kids blocked them on social media for self-preservation. Okay, how little then the kids block them on social media for self preservation uh...

okay how soon before the kids start making appearances all right real soon okay let's do predict how old the kids they're like um... all the either either they're out of high school or about to be right also there are like twenty three to like sixteen i think so that we have and i mean they're all attractive in everything how could they not be you know but i think that um... three to like 16 I think. Oh, okay. So that's real. Yeah.

And I mean, they're all attractive and everything. How could they not be, you know? Right. I got a good look at you. But I think that it's going, I'm going to predict that they start making appearances or something by June 1st of this year. Yeah. I like that prediction.

Okay. What is, like, what does Mark and Swales do? Like, was he supposed to be an actor? Yeah, he was an actor. He was an actor. Yeah. So obviously, what does Mark and Swales do? Like was he supposed to be an actor? Yeah, he was an actor. He was an actor. So obviously, it didn't pan out. Nothing is a bad guy. I mean, a pan-operator.

They do work. Oh, he is. Oh, I don't know. He's really good looking. I think both of them can totally act. Yeah. I don't think it's a bad idea. Once Ryan said he wanted to leave,

I think they were like, let's find a host that isn't gonna walk away. That's her husband. That's her husband. I don't think they'll ever break up. I think they do have a good marriage. Even if this is the show, that's it. I don't think trying to get some other guy,

whether it's a gay guy or a straight guy or a black guy or a Chinese guy, whatever. It's like just stick with a husband. It's not a horrible idea. But I don't think we wanna hear about your marriage every day. I think they should treat each other like you and me. Right.

You're welcome. And just like, and just do the stuff. I agree. Or they're gonna cut the banter. Get right to the guest. Do we need 25 minutes of banter? Well, that's what it is. Why am I producing this show. I already have a show.

Shut up. Whatever. Who cares? Okay. Nick Cannon forgot his daughter on X when he was listing all 12 of this kids recently. Well, I mean, that's what easy to do. There's a lot. I think anybody with a lot of kids. I thought Chris Jenner, like oftentimes forget like Chloe. And she's forgotten her grandkids because she's up to like 12. There's a lot of them. It's hard to go through. Yeah. A Garselle on Real Housewives of Beverly Hills.

One time someone was asking about her sibling. She had like eight siblings. And she forgot one sister that she loved. Yeah. But. And Bruce, you know, Bruce, she's turning to Caitlin. And now you gotta remember that, too. That's a lot.

You can't say, I've known you, Brez Bruce for many years and now you're Caitlin, all the kids, all the grandkids, it's a lot. Yeah, it's a lot. And she's a squirter. Did you see this? Oh, so I saw that and then on Howie Mendel's podcast. I think I mentioned it on something saying,

I just like how desperate are you that Chris? That's pretty desperate. No, she was I Later on why things taking out a context to get for a headline. Oh, it was all over she was talking about She loves her cleaning supply. She has her own cleaning supply Oh, and she and he goes through your squirt and she goes yes. I'm a squirt her. I'm a squirt or meaning I squirt the stuff. Oh That was like all over the paper that, oh all right, well, I obviously,

I didn't know that that was the case. Yeah. But she could be too. I was pretty disgusted too. Yeah. I was like, are you kidding me? Like how desperate, can any, it's just every fucking thing

have to be revealed like to everybody. But anyway, you know, she's got a seller cleaning supply, though I shall lose her house. Do you have cleaning supplies? Is that her thing? I guess she has cleaning supplies like natural cleaning supplies. Okay. She was doing with Chrissy Teigen and then I think they like broke up with the Chrissy Teigen controversy and whatever.

Yeah. All right. And Chrissy Teigen just posted a photo. You know, I've heard with her new baby, which is great. But you know, like here's my bad body. I still have a fat tummy because the baby's like two weeks old. And then, you know, and I don't care because you were worth it. Right.

Right. Okay, so when the baby sees us like in 15 years, just a reminder, you know, that's why I had to get these tits done. Yeah, because of you. Right. That's why my bad just size a tunnel. Cause you like, I'm just kind of like, but I mean, hey, whatever girl, I'm just so sick of people acting like they're being brave. Right. Like showing a postpartum body or just a not great body or whatever. Like I don't get it why people don't see what this what the real intention is. Why do I have to point it out? I know I don't

yeah. I agree with you. All right. Meanwhile, Randy is a guinea pig and he broke into a female enclosure and he impregnated over 100 female guinea pigs, picking up Dick Cannon. Wow. Wow. Yeah. That's, yeah. Before there's no guinea pigs do, that's just their whole life. And then note these guinea pigs and then you get to get together. Yeah. And they're going to have to, you know, start screwinging each other which isn't great You know a lot of people are realizing that they've married their second cousin or whatever because of 23 and me And they never they didn't even know was happening really yeah a lot of people are realizing they've married or or their

Boyfriend or whatever I think pretty soon, you know, isn't do you have to? What you don't have to get a blood test to get married deal No, I think you didn't eat olden days and they can do that and make sure you weren't related And they did yeah, and now I think we have to do a 23 in me who ever heard a 23 in me Should push for that so they can sell more tests right? I never did a 23 in me But my brother did one and I figure isn't it the same thing, you know, like my brother did it I'm like yeah, we're the same of the same genetic makeup. So if he did it, isn't it the same thing? You know, like my brother did it. And I'm like, yeah, we're the same of the same genetic makeup.

So if he did it, I did it. No. Well, you're one fourth, you're one fourth of your brother. I know, but we're the same. You'd have one fourth DNA. We have the same mom and dad. So we're the same. Well, you're not, you're not the same

unless you're identical twins, you're not the same. I know, but with this, like, you're part Norwegian. Oh, not the same. I know but with this like like You're your partner weogen. Oh That oh the yes that make up that what you're Yes, yeah genetic background Genetic back. I think you meant DNA. You're not a background. Yes, is the same. Yeah, I did and I told Shannon Yeah, so that's when we found out that my my mom was a hundred percent Irish to and she wasn't half French like She thought she wasn't she was such a fucking snob about it. She thought she and Jackie O'Nassus were like best friends because they were both French

Right, right. She made us take French in school. Yeah, we go to French restaurants and eat grapes. Yeah, and then and then I'm like How is she not French like when I got this test because she'd already passed right found out and She would say I'm French Canadian and then people said, people just said that because the French were more accepted in Canada than the Irish. And so they're like, her family was to come over

and just change their name to a French name, but they were truly just Irish. Yeah. Yeah. So you're like 100% Irish day. I'm 98%. Yeah. And the other is like 2% English or something But no, I am like yeah, oh, and by the way, I was at the Beverly Hills Hotel last night having dinner with some friends What a life such a great day, and I'm at the bar because I got there early and

This older man was there. And it was like it was 1992. He looked over at me and he said, are you Persian? Every dude in the 90s at a night club was Persian and would ask me if I was Persian. Really? Yeah.

Like they wanted, they just wanted to come. So that's kind of, because I have brown hair and brown eyes, there's a chance I'm in LA. I could be Persian. Uh-huh. And I'm a single woman there sitting there, you know, by myself. Is that still happening? And he was like 70. So obviously thought I should be grateful to talk to him because I'm past the prime of being a hooker at the Beverly Hills Hotel. And I go, no, I'm Irish. I turned around. And I go, no, I'm Irish. I turned around. Like I was like, I'm not dealing

with this older Persian man right now. Right. And so anyway, that's it. That's what I would always ask. Are you Persian? Yeah. Now the Beverly Hills hotels, it's still a happening spot.

People still go and... You know, it was really fun. They had live music there. This guy was great. And the food was good, expensive, but good. I think it's just an iconic fun place to go. Yeah. And my friend, Kim Douglas, she's there like she knows the dude.

Right. So like, she was able to get the reservation and it wasn't like a big deal. So we had fun. Like a good, good little girl. That's fun. It was fun. like a good little girl. That sounds fun. It was fun.

This, but the mayor of New York said that he's gonna ban giddy pigs in New York City. Why? Because they have a day, they just hired a rat. Because there's too many rats, but he, but what about, yeah. No, I think he thinks that the giddy pigs

are adding to the nightmare. Of, of, of, well, they hired a rat czar. You see, they got a woman, her job is to just get rid of the rats in New York I'm going to New York everybody yeah, oh did you ever go to New York and have your hot Night out. Yeah, who hooked you up was an a juicies Cooper? Oh well, I got a lot of different great I got a lot not actually hookups, but I got great recommendations. Okay, and where'd you go? We went to a new play, a new,

Moxie Hotel, that was downtown. You know, there are Moxies around, but they're owned by the Tao group, and this was the new one. So they had a good rooftop and a good, the mic I hook up. Who? Mike Snagger.

Who's that? Nobody hooked us up. Everyone just gave us places. And then there's a place, the place to be is called Bad Roman. Okay. This is the restaurant you want to be at. Apparently it's next to impossible to get into.

I'm gonna go to Bad Roman. I would like to go to Bad Roman. It's in Columbus Circle, a bad Roman. Bad Roman people listen. Yeah. I'd like to go on Wednesday, the 10th. listen. Yeah. I'd like to go on Wednesday the 10th. Okay. May 10th.

Put that out there. I'm putting it out and secreting it. You want that. You want bad Roman. What kind of food is it? It's a Italian. Yum. That's what I want.

I want Italian in New York City. Yeah. So I think you should go for that. And then are the rats there? Well, I think there's rats everywhere. My daughter loved the rats. That was her favorite part of New York. She still talked about it.

She's like the greatest thing ever was the rats. Then they were, she loves seeing them running on the streets and running in the subway. You really are seeing them walking around? Kind of. If you go out, you can see them running on the garbage. You know, there's piles of garbage. I don't know, Barf.

Yeah. That actually really fre, Barf. Yeah. That actually really freaks me out. Does it? It doesn't bother me at all, really. I mean, I kind of got it. It's an old city that's built on a big old... That's disgusting. No, okay.

Millie Bobby Brown shares close up of her engagement ring from Jake Bon Jovi. So he is John Bon Jovi's son. Yeah. They're like both like 19. And I just thought this was kind of an interesting topic because oh, he's 20, she's 19. And I just think it's caught.

Well, first of all, I'm glad that Drake stopped calling her because that was really weird. Remember when Drake, not my Drake. I would say. Drake the singer. Drake the singer. Your son is calling. I remember Drake the singer was texting her and stuff. And everyone was like, was really weird. Remember when Drake, not my Drake, Drake the singer. Drake the singer. Your son is calling. Remember Drake the singer was like texting her and stuff and everyone was like, that's

weird. I mean, it's like I'm just giving her career advice. Why is it weird that I'm texting a 14 year old? Yeah. Get your head out of the gutter. Anyway, so I do think it's kind of interesting. I've noticed that more and more really young people are getting married. Because there's no fun anymore. There's no fun out there. Like there's no good times.

Oh good place. Yeah. So like, well, why not? Why not get married? Because there's no more spring break or, you know, the fun things we used to do. There's no spring break. There's no more tanning booths or resilient cut jeans or, you know know the shit that everybody did for on a Saturday night I was telling I was telling Brandon how like on a Saturday night like Like my friend Liz and I were you just to drive up and down Wells Drive and look for a party. Yeah Every single Saturday night And there would just be teenagers out and somebody's parents in Tarzan on Sino had chosen to go to Europe or whatever Right, and you just went there. Yeah, you just went that we literally would fight a party every Saturday night

And just be like the music be playing you just drink beers or whatever coolers wine clues and go on and so you'd start prepping around Wednesday For you know, you'd go to the chess king in the mall or whatever get get yourself a shirt, get, you know, whatever, the grossest thing ever was the tanning booth. You were never tanning booths. I can smell. Oh, it's, it was smell of my burning skin. Oh, burning skin. I want to smell like, and I remember I walked into an open house that was, uh, uh, Tommy Lee

and Heather Locklear, remember they were married. Yeah. And she had I walked into her walking closet because my mom was a real turn. It was in Westchester County. And I'm like I literally rode my bike from St. Mel's in my uniform to go to this open house. Yeah. And I went in there and I saw all these corsets, beaded corsets. And then I went in to the bathroom and they had their own tanning bed. Oh, that was like that. And I was like, one fucking day. One day, I'll have a podcast, so popular, that I kept my own tanning bed.

So gross. I don't think I got a tanning salon. Yeah. Yes, but I also think, oh, speaking of that, so because I thought about it, I left Brandon alone. Junior in high school, 17 years old, he could drive for several days when we were on our trip. My mother and I came for Easter, but then he had like days alone,

and then she came and then days alone. And I do, I'm fortunate enough, to have a Porsche convertible, and I love it. Right. And never did it even occur to me or him to take it out. Okay. Oh, so not risky business type. No, so then I thought about risky business. Yeah. And I was like, I remember a movie called risky business. He's like, no. And I go, oh, it's kind of similar.

This kid's a junior in high school or senior freshman, you know, first year of whatever. He was in high school. And parents go away for a week on a trip and they're kind of wealthy and he takes the foresh out and then the Porsche goes into the ocean or whatever. And then he has to pin out all these prostitutes to all of his friends to pay it back. Brandon was like, wait, what? And I go, it's with Tom Cruise. And I'm like, no, we're going to watch that movie together. It's great movie. Because I'm like no, we're gonna watch that movie together. It's great movie Cuz I'm like yeah, that fun can't happen now. No get married at 19. Yeah, yeah, very

Also, I want to say what's interesting is like I think that There is gonna be a movement towards more people getting married younger because I want to say I do feel like the best people you may meet are like the ones you know from high school and college. Like and everybody told these like 30 something women that are now 35 and they haven't gotten married yet. No, you don't want to marry your high school suite or no, you don't want to marry the college

guy. Like you want to live your life, get your job, blow up up up. But then like when you're ready to get married at like 34, all the best guys, oftentimes, are snagged. Yeah. And now they built their wealth with their wife and they have homes in this and that. And you've got to wait to get them when they get divorced again. And then once they get divorced, they're on Tinder or whatever.

And they've got a different chick every night coming to blow them because they own a home Rehearsal attack that's it and you're like what yeah, I built this I have this great career and this and that and that is why I think women say It's so hard because they they were told don't don't be that dummy that got married back out of college Live your fun life Go to on those all those vacation screw like the women in sex in the city that was a story written by gay guys. Nobody was screwing anyone at a gym, but a gay guy.

Right. One more Miranda was sleeping with a guy at the gym, sweaty after the gym. Yeah. Yeah. No check is going to fuck someone for the first time after doing squats at a gym in a pair of Lulu lemons. There is no right.

Some people are into that sort of thing, right? Don't be, oh yeah, man, like by like dirty panties and stuff. Men women are not. Uh huh. I mean women. I'm just gonna say on behalf of men, I'm personally not into dirty panties. That's not my thing.

I'm saying gay men. Oh really? Yeah, I think that's who wrote the script of that first three. Oh, gay man wrote it. Yeah, right. Yeah. I got a little bit of an inside story about sex in the city. Oh, my God. I was performing in New York City at this venue called the cutting room, which is fantastic venue. And it's owned by Chris. Yes. It's semi owned by him. You know, he's

like a partner in it. Anyway, and then the owner was there. And we were talking after the show. He was very happy with the show. Anytime you want to come back with a laugh, and he goes, sorry, Chris wasn't here to see it. He would have loved it. And I was like, oh yeah, how's he doing? And he goes, he's great.

He's a little upset about everything that went down. And it was cancellation and all that. He really wants to work. And he just came. For two of our own people, he's Mr mr. big and right when the show came out there are allegations of of him sexually assaulting like three different women yeah like on set so they cut any flashback scene that they had and he was and he was let go from a CBS show with Queen the Tifa and all that stuff oh yeah so I and then now he's I

think you know can't really get work he made a guy work nonstop he was a ton of things for a long order yeah for everything uh... anyway um... so the guy in the he was a second he he's really upset that sarah just like a parker never talked to him again like never after was done never reached out like hey i don't agree with what you did but you know we we had a long run together i'm

sorry about how i went down but but we got to let you go. Like, what just done. And I mean, I guess I understand. Like, it's not just our Jessica Parker's business, you know, she's like, but that just goes to show you that that's your not a real, that wasn't a real friend. You're a Hollywood friend. Yeah. And the many get some stink on you.

I don't want to smell it. Right, right, right. Yeah. So, but I thought that was interesting. I'm like, oh, great. smell it right right right. Yeah, so but I thought that was interesting. I'm like of course of course But wait speaking of which I want to talk about something with this because alley Wong is in a alley Wong is in a little bit of News alley Wong is a very funny comedian. She's divorced. She's two kids

She's in a show on Netflix called beef. Yes, which I kind of love because it's like filmed in like West Hills or the Valley or Calabasas. So I kind of like it. I just started watching it and it's very good. She is dating Bill Hader. Yeah, I heard they were dating that I heard it was over now. Now it's in the prep. But I knew about this couple of months ago. I had it inside track on this one.

Well, apparently some people are going after her because the star of the show, David Cho faces bait backlash over a clip of him telling a story on a podcast from 2014 of how he sexually assaulted a massage therapist. Well, how about us after the alley? I agree. There's nothing to do with her. There's nothing to do. Netflix. I mean, the thing is, you know, how about us have to do with Ally Wong? I agree. There's nothing to do with her. There's nothing to do. And Netflix, I mean, it, I mean, the thing is, you know,

yeah, it's an awful story. Mm-hmm. But it's a story. Right. And like, I do think, you know, everyone now has podcasts, everyone's telling their life stories or whatever. But I do wanna say say as a comedian, when we tell stuff on stage,

we can say this happened to me, and oftentimes it could be 100% true. It could be 50% true, or it could be 5% true, or it could be completely made up. Yeah. And so when you see other comedians, or not comedians talking in a podcast situation, it's for, it's a comedic conversation

and oftentimes for entertainment purposes. So we don't make up stories when we talk because we're friends, but I'm assuming some people might to shock or be entertaining or whatever, but even if this was true, he could always say, I made it up. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I could always say, I made it up. Yeah, yeah. Bobby Lee's in trouble for story.

And Bobby Lee, Bobby Lee, there's a Reddit thread about him that he did a podcast. But I wasn't sure if it was a long time ago or not that long ago. I believe it was a long time. I don't know how long ago, but it wasn't recent. But when I heard it, it was a story that I recall I heard before. Yeah. And it was, I got this sex worker in

Mexico. Right. And when we had sex, she cried. And I think the point of it from my perspective as a comedian, I'm not condoning anything. But it's still deprecating. Yeah, he was saying he's gross. I'm so gross that this was the worst experience of this sex workers life. And that is where I think it came from. And if you know Bobby Lee, that was a lot of his stories about that he would talk about on stage and whatever. And so here he's trying to be entertaining. And there's no way of knowing if either one of these stories are true, unless these women

come forward with receipts and I was at this massage place and this happened and this happened and now I am suing these people. I would say, okay, now we've got to get rid of these people forever, but that isn't the case. I would say this for anybody who's like telling stories on PIDKIT. I would stay away from sexual stories these days. Totally.

Because we, even our early days of Juicy School, we, I every now and again, I would stay away from sexual stories these days. Totally. Because even our early days of Juicy Scoop, I every now and again, I would tell sexual stories and I'm like, I'm almost embarrassed by it. Now I never told anything like that. Right, because you never did anything. Yeah, yeah. But, but- But if you're like dating someone and you're like a slept over, yeah, yeah, yeah, you're right. But there's too much of a risk of it seeming like you're an asshole.

Right. So I would just stay away from any of that type of stuff and just talk about guinea pigs fucking, you know. I mean, I agree. Like, you know, and it's not that funny. Okay, so let's get back to some other fun stuff that's happening. Brittany is writing her book allegedly

and it's brutally honest. I've never been more over somebody than Brittany. Yeah, I know you're over. Say your Mark and Swale is Kelly Ripon, how over you are then. That is, this is my threshold of Britney Spears. It is beyond, it has topped out. It has more than topped out.

And I cannot believe that anybody is still semi-interested in the exact same thing on Instagram. Every single day. There's nothing that she can say really. Well, maybe she can't. I mean, I don't know. But you know it's not going to be her. Right, but even if she's sitting down with somebody who were, she's telling stories and

then they're trying to write it in her like way, I don't know. I'll believe it when I see it. I'll believe when I see it. I believe when I see it. So, so you know, she did another dancing thing and she wrote, I did eight videos yesterday. I was excited because I haven't danced and forever. I need a baby stroller today literally. I guess that means like because she's having a hard time walking maybe because she worked her thighs so hard. Anyway, I thought it was a tiny, tiny bikini bottom, you know, a couple versions of this. It's boots, tiny bikini bottom, and then a cropped off the shoulder top dancing back in the original cheesecake factory for a, and I sent this to Drake.

I sent a video of this and I said just do if I ever if you ever open up your IG and see me doing this my Drake son. Yeah. It will be me impersonating Brittany is that more or less embarrassing than Brittany being Brittany's sons and he says it's not embarrassing. Wow. It's nice. So I just want to say I shouldn't judge anything because of my son doesn't care. Uh-huh. But I think my son is also really smart. And he knows like if I have to do that, it's because I need to get some views on TikTok, which leads to people listening to Juicy Scoop, which leads to us making more money,

which leads to him getting having a new golf club or whatever. Yeah. So hopefully your kids don't care. Okay. I wanted to get into this. This is this little bit of old news this last week the dolly llama who honestly i never really understood who the fuck the dolly llama was no for no fence

i i just i felt it was always something that someone said like even the dolly law but like they always just reference the dolly on that i didn't know the dolly lama's like still alive i didn't even know what really the dolly but anyway He is and he's 89 and he was A little boy came to him and he kissed the boy on the lips Uh-huh, and then he said now suck my tongue and he stuck out his tongue and everyone kind of giggled and encouraged it and the little boy then did it Yeah, but he said it. He goes suck for my tongue. Yeah. Yeah. I watched the video.

And obviously people went crazy. Like, what is this? Yeah. Other people said he's a jokester. He's a jokester. He was doing a tight five at the improv tomorrow. Yeah, like I listen, I'm a jokester too. I never, I don't eat anyone to suck my tongue. That's not one of my bits. Other people said this is something in the Tibetan world. Yeah, I did do that too. Yeah, I'm sign of respect, or I don't know what. Yeah. Other people wondered does he have Alzheimer's?

That's what they're looking up though. They, what's nice for their people is they have the lowest amount of Alzheimer's or anything. So whatever they're eating we should be eating because they don't have a little boy's tongue. Tom, what little boy's tongue. Yeah. It's all. But then then I had this great guy on last week that told these amazing Hollywood stories

and if all my tiktok Scott Nathan photography and he, he had a story about how this model called him and she's like, oh my god, I'm on this plane and she's FaceTime when she's like, and she was with Bill, according to him, she was with Bill Clinton and the Dalai Lama going over to like Rome or I don't know, going to Europe on like a Gulf stream. Right. And so I'm like, I don't really understand how he, you get, I like, it's kind of like

their Pope, I guess. Right. You go, you go through the ranks and then they say you're like the holiest person and I'm just glad this wasn't the Pope because I would be so much shit for like having a kid at the Catholic Boy School right now. If I like, oh yeah, because the Catholic's, they don't have any issues. Listen, I agree. I haven't heard anything about that.

I mean, I agree, but like, obviously, that would be really bad. Yeah, yeah. And it would be hard to say that that was part of a thing. Right. He would definitely have to pull a Tom Gerardi the Pope and say, I have full blown Alzheimer's,

and I don't know what I was saying. This guy just was like, well, sorry, but you know, I wouldn't be- But just was like, well sorry, but you know, I would hate me. But the thing was, the apology wasn't even him. It was like his office said, like the Dalai, like I would have been him saying, you know, his own apology, but it wasn't.

It was like a weird apology from his camp that said that Dalai Lama's got a sense of humor. Right. You know, who knows? I'm with you. I I don't I'm now I sound ignorant. I don't really know the god is a reboot is thing. I'm not Yeah, I don't really know exactly this and he's like the sixth most like review. Yeah Sorry, I don't know, but I think he's gross and a story. I don't care

I don't care if he has Alzheimer's I don't care if he if this is like a cool way to like greet it old Tibetan man. I think it's gross and I would not allow but I could be around him. Yeah, yeah, I agree. Some people are upset that this honey burdette lingerie for their latest model is featuring a man in a bra

and underwear. I'm gonna say this about all of this, what's happening now? Yes. And this is, and this is the New York Post, and I follow all these stories. I'm a little fascinated by the Dylan Mulvaney who got light this. Thank God.

Just to remind people, I just feel people like, because I haven't talked about it. Because I've been afraid to talk about it. Oh, I'm ready to talk about it. Okay. Dylan Mulvaney was born a man m m

was an out game and got on tiktok right and shared uh... her transition to become a woman right and her surgeries and her hormones and her facial surgeries and all of that and she gained eleven hundred eleven million tiktok followers right she got invited to kathy hilton's uh... christmas party in which i was not invited andiktok followers right she got invited to kathy hiltons uh... christmas party in which i was not invited and uh... and then she got the

night yet wearing uh... sports bras and she also got bud light to do put her face on a can i don't know if that was just it was just like a yeah i don't know if it was like a real campaign where they were like on the shelves at ralms right it was they a real campaign. I mean, they weren't like on the shelves at RELFs, right? No, I wasn't. Okay. It was, they were doing it, yeah. And then Kid Rock got upset by that. You made your attention to it.

Shot up some beer cans. Allegedly, they lost $6 billion in stock. Right. And, okay. And so then, you know, now a lot of people, and then this came out and some people are upset about this. And then the lingerie is like, hey, if you don't want to support LGBTQ and how we promote our stuff,

don't buy our stuff, we don't care. So now I'm gonna let you talk and then I'll give my opinion. Okay, here's my opinion. First of all, I would like to thank the New York Post and Tucker Carlson and all the people who seem absolutely obsessed with any type of this type

of stuff, whether they trans or otherwise. Because honestly, I would not know who these people were, were it not for the nearer post and fuck. I like, the Dill and Mulvaney, who would know? But I feel like Tucker Carlson has some sort of weird fascination with these people. And I mean, honestly, I don't kid rock too. It's like, I don't even, I wouldn't have even known the but the but light thing had I not. The other thing is, let me just say this,

this is influencers, they're all, he's an, you know, sorry, whatever, whatever, Dylan is, is an influencer on TikTok. Everyone needs to stop because what has happened is now these people have gone and they, I guess they hire young staff members The White House bud light all these people and I like we need what are we gonna do here? It's like when we were on Chelsea Lively and used to say we need a viral video because they knew nothing like we need a viral video Who doesn't need a viral video? Yeah, I catch shitting is a viral video for no reason

Anyway, but that's what we used to go through, right? Doesn't work that way. So older person hires the younger people, yes. So they come in, it's happening at the White House. So now the White House is literally in the press room. They're inviting TikTokers to come in and I was like, whoa, we need to stop.

Everybody stop. Let some shit be for old people. Yeah. And let some shit be for old people yeah and let some shit be for young people the world this is young people shit yeah it's not a we need to just step aside and let whatever's happening having and and also we don't need tiktokers in the fucking press room at the White House asking I don't need some guy in a brown panties. Asked about China. Just let's separate the two worlds. But they feel like they have to have Dylan Mulvaney has to say something about Bud Light. I'm like, Bud Light needs to go, somebody over Bud Light needs to go, no, it's not.

Bud Light's an old man beer. We don't need Dylan Mulvaney. It wasn't a great match. It wasn't a great match. You know, like there's other things that Dylan could do. There's nobody looking at a beer and going, you know, no 21 year old or Drake's age

or is going, you know what, I might have a bad light because I just had Dylan Mulvaney on the end. And I want to be inclusive with my beer. It's not happening. It never in a million years. It's somebody drinking Bud Light because of Dylan Mulvaney. So it's just like so stupid.

They need, I know your dad was an advertiser. Yes. And that, they has to be one old man at these places. Yes. All right, enough crap. You know, and sometimes you do need some sort of common sense. Right. And I'm not saying it's right or wrong,

but Dill and Moveani's fine for happy dad or whatever Bill Caitlyn Jenner's out there for money. So, but the whole thing is just overblown bullshit. If I'm right. And listen, Dillon is a genius. Like she makes a shit out of money. She's super famous. Right.

And if someone's gonna give her the account to do it, then fine, but as a woman, as a woman, oh, this is so scary. But I do feel there's something going on in the world that is scary for women right now. Very scary. Like just realizing that like we are kind of getting erased in certain ways right like I just saw a video and I think this is a video that cannot be Exxused in anyway, uh-huh a mom was at a place trying to go to bathroom right there's two bathrooms

There's the men's room and then she went to what was always the women's room. And it's now the all gender room. All genders welcome. Yeah, but that's like, yeah, first of all, I don't, I don't know. I never had a problem with a trance woman. I never had a problem with trans women coming into the bathroom and using it. I still don't. I always I had a joke in my act for a long time. Like that's why it's nice when a new restaurant opens you just have like three Individual stalls. I think that's a safe way for everyone and a better way if you can afford it now If you're not building from scratch you've got the two bathrooms and the two plumbing and you've got to accommodate everybody now so You know that is and it is a little bit weird now because there are

Listen when it is all, there really were people, a very small percentage of the world, that saw themselves, men who saw themselves as women and became women and wanted to live a life as a woman, like that's respectable. But when you see, honestly, the biggest thing that concerns me is the safety of women in female prisons. And that is terrifying how so many prisoners that are men are now in transition or even just identifying and have a penis. With their penis, they are entering female prisons.

Oh. And the whole point of having a female prison when it started was to protect women from being attacked and raped. Right. They cannot, women don't really, brim and do not rape each other. They really don't, they don't have a body part that can do it. They cannot penetrate. That is a serious thing.

And that is what's scary. If you put it on your driver's license like I'm this and Then you get arrested right and then you're in this So I don't know what they should do now. We have to create all new prisons and then even that's gonna be hard So I get why it's a huge discussion and I get why people I have a big difference between Dillam, O'Vaney on a Bud Light can women and print, but I'm saying that's why people are a big difference between Dill and Mulvaney on a Bud Light can. Right. Women in print. But I'm saying that's why people are starting to talk more and more about it. But here's the thing. And also, you don't feel this is, here, I'll try and simplify it as best as possible.

If your biggest issue in life is Dill and Mulvaney on a Bud Light can, I feel like things are going pretty well for you. It's not my biggest issue. I know, I'm not saying you personally. I don't care if anybody, I'm saying you personally. I'm not saying you personally. I'm saying anybody. I don't care if anybody makes money or anything. I just think like I do feel for the women athletes.

I agree with that one. I agree with that one. Riley is really brave to be talking about it. The latest one is the surfing that now men can compete biological men who identifies women can compete against the who identify as women can compete against the female surfers. And so that one girl with the missing arm, that famous surfer that lost her arm to the

shark, Bethany Hamilton, she's speaking out about like all this tells me is I am really glad I am not a young girl that got up every day at 5am from five years old on and now I'm 19 and I'm in college playing a few meals for it. I'm really fucking glad. I'm glad I never was athletic. I'm glad I had boys and like it would suck if or I'd suck if I was the mom that gave up my whole career to get my kid to a place to compete and there's nothing we can do about it. And if you say anything, then you might be seen as this horrible person.

And so I just think that's why more and more people are saying, please, if you do feel that way, just think about the younger sisters coming up. And I think a lot of women were so accepting of our trans sisters. They didn't think about how other people could take advantage of it that weren't really doing it for the right reasons. Like and that is and who could screw over later.

And that's why I think it's such a hard topic and a scary thing. And I also think the other thing, because it's also true. I think when you hear about somebody saying, my child is a, is a nine year old boy who identifies as a girl. Right. And she now wants to play soccer on this little girls team versus the boys team. Right.

Everybody's like, absolutely. My god, that's so mean not to let this little girls team versus the boys team. Right. Everybody's like, absolutely. My God, that's show me not to let this little trans girl play with her friends on the girl's soccer team. Of course you're going to let her. But that little boy, little girl, little boy who identifies as a girl, born as a boy, that little soccer player. I'm told you, for my head is spinning. What?

That little child can grow up to be six, five. Right. And now playing on the girl, playing against the girls team. Yeah. And that is where it's like, I just don't, that's how you don't know what to do. My feeling is, I just don't know if it's,

if it's as prevalent as people are making it out to be. I know there are some, there are outliers. It's not, it's not. And the fact that people are saying it is, is feeding into bullshit. It's all bullsh**. I know, I'm not, I'm not.

Or they feel it, they don't speak up now. It will be gone. I can, let me stop everyone's panic. It's not, it's not gonna become that. We'll look back on the Tuesday. Good, please do. And I hope not. I hope that women are still able to secure their spots. It are secure their spot that they'll be outliers where it happens like the swimmer and all

that it's not going to become a prevalent issue and the fact that people are trying to make it seem like it's going to is hysteria craziness cut it out okay well i think this moment of bill mar show i just had it is great and i'm not afraid and adding you don't have to worry okay well i think this moment of uh... bill marcia uh... is great and i'm not afraid of any don't have to worry about cutting out i want i want to share my opinion because i think it is a hot topic and i think it's i think you're gonna hate me no i think they may hate me right they may say i'll be all agree

i agree fifty fifty but you're this is coming from someone who is not athletic would be a lot of it with last picked on the team. This doesn't affect me. I would have loved to have brought over to the girls team. And honestly, I probably would have failed out of both. Like listen, I have a lot more gay friends than I do straight.

Right. As do I. So I'm like, so yeah, but I am seeing, you know, I'm seeing all of it and I just, that's why. Okay, so moving on. Buy a bra, buy a bra, they're beautiful bras. Honey, Burdette, beautiful bras on men, women, trans, whatever. They're pretty bras.

Black China has deactivated to allegedly $240 million only fans account. I wonder if there was really, it's a dead end. She said she is left. And she's taken out all her class to different injections. Injected. She said black China says she made $240 million in 2021. Oh, she is saying that. They said they called her the voluptuous mother of two. I wish I was described as that. Oh, you can be. I don't think so. No.

No. It's a dead end. All that stuff is a dead end and I know that I'm worth way more than that. She wants to set a better example for her kids. I also want to say, if you pay 240 million dollars, you don't have to do only fans anymore. No, it's time to deactivate the account. You won. Yeah, like, that's the whole point.

I hope every woman doing this can get to the place that they're so successful that they're like, I don't need to have to put on the honey burdette bra. I could just go to target down the street in my sweats and be fine. Yeah. Yeah. So kind of interesting. Good for her or not. I really don't think she made $2.40 million, but I think she made a lot. Well, I feel so much about the cash me outside girl because she's another one. It's like $70 million in one day or something. Only fans of my, are these numbers real? They can't possibly be right. This got to be some sort of all the blown. Like because black China's not even, if she also going to change her name back to Susan Jones, because it's really not black China, right? China's not even, if she also gonna change her name back to Susan Jones,

because it's really not black China, right? That's not her name. Angela. Yeah, okay, so she's gonna go back to just a little more. But her bomb is staying Tokyo tight heat. What's your name? Tokyo Tony. So I got Susan.

So anyway, did you hear about the popcorn fiasco? I did. So Jesse James Decker, uh, did you hear about the popcorn fiasco? I did. So Jesse James Decker sister, who is married to an MLB player, who makes five million a year or something. Yeah. Went on a smaller plane that was under the United umbrella and she's pregnant, five months pregnant and allegedly said that she was with her two kids alone and they gave them a popcorn snack and the little kid dropped the popcorn. It was in the aisle and then a flight attendant who they have not identified, who that flight attendant is, if it's a man or a woman came up and said, with a wipe and a bag or something

and said, the captain, this is the weirdest part, the captain wants you to clean up your mess. Yeah, that's true. And then the sister allegedly got on her knees and was picking it up, crying and saying I was humiliated. So then the husband tweeted about, I hate United, whatever. Yeah. The tweets in there. Okay. So then the husband said, the flight attendant at United just been my 22-week-old pregnant-wise traveling with a five-and-two-year-old get on her hands and knees to pick up the popcorn mess my younger buy my youngest daughter are you kidding me and you know in a photo of the two kids that seem very happy they have their headphones on and their iPads and um I guess they were full from the popcorn but

anyway so a lot of people read you can see the picture with the pop going on the ground. Oh, you can. Okay. Anyway, so there was a lot of controversy people saying, like, you know, that is awful. Other people saying, you have that money, much money. Why are you traveling alone? And, you know, and are you really high-risk and could anyone even tell she was pregnant at five months old?

And people do kind of need to like take care of their kids' mess. And people have cut back on the cleaning crews of these airplanes and i i don't know i definitely feel i feel the weirdest part is the captain blind that is like the weirdest part like how would the captain know that there was popcorn that fell is the captain but here let's do it yeah uh...

the captain speaking uh... sir popcorn and the i know it's so Yeah, it's the captain speaking. Sir popcorn and the floor. I know, it's so, yeah, the captain doesn't even, the only time the captain comes out is to take a peepee. Yeah. And then they lock it off. Yeah, there's let him be. Yeah.

Let him pee pee. Yeah. I mean, that's what I think it's so weird. And I also feel like there's not one other witness to the story besides this girl. And this is what I think. The story got a little bit. Oh yeah, there's opinion.

Okay, I think I'll with you on this. As a mom who's been pregnant, who has been with two other kids, because I have three, including my stepdaughter. There's been times where I was pregnant with Brandon, I was with two other kids. And for whatever reason, Peter wasn't around. Yeah. And I'm not saying

I've ever done this because I really haven't, but I thought about it. Right. Like maybe exaggerating, maybe you're at your wit's end and you kind of exaggerate and create a story to tell your husband because you're like, fuck you. Like I'm glosing my mind. Why can't I have a nanny travel me with you cheap, cheap son of a bitch? Yeah. And really probably what I'm glosing my mind. Why can't I have a nanny travel me with you cheap, cheap son of a bitch? Yeah, and really probably what I'm guessing what happened is the popcorn fell over and the flight attendant said something like You know you're gonna have to clean that up and it was like Conor root and what like can you can you take care of that or can you watch your child Something like that and then it was like she went crazy and what as she was picking it up Like probably started to cry and have a nurse break down and then like wrote her husband or told her husband the story and then Jesse

Decker Boo-boo whatever her name is she got away too because it's her sister Because now I feel the girl is like trying to make light of it like she took a photo with her daughter with a popcorn And I think she's kind of like oh shit like the story got way bigger. I just wanted my husband to feel like a cheap dick and feel sorry. I actually like that theory. That's a pretty good theory. Yeah. Also popcorn is a, it fucks you with my daughter loves popcorn and it is a mess. It is everywhere. But also I'll say flight attendants aren't really, they're not housekeepers. But also, I'll say, flight attendants aren't really, they're not housekeepers, you know?

And they should. And normally they don't, like, I've seen messes on planes, not just kids, that people are like, when I go off a plane after, like you walk down the aisle, it's a nightmare. I mean, I purposely really try to get them all that trash. Yeah. Because it all helps, it helps the next person.

Because if there is too much cleaning to do, then that flight's delayed. Then the next flight's delayed. Like, listen, it is what it is. This is, this is, it's not 1965, where my dad said, but I would bring home all those extra little bottles of liquor. Remember that?

Like, it's in like the 70s. And then they'd say, they'd do these fun games where they'd be like, okay Hey, man take off your shoes whoever has the biggest hole in his sock gets a free drink All these fun game There's a clean up James Decker's popcorn. Yeah, yeah, like it was all business Been dressed up and it was like hot you know uh... flight attendants and it was like a totally different world when

christianner was a flight attendant before she met now is much of a real man the flight attendants are like older man i have i i i now i don't ask for anything because like there was a time when i was to say when i said to a very strapping uh... young man flight attendant, strong, good looking gay, just my type. And I said, do you think, I'm like, can you help me with this?

And he's like, absolutely not to get the bag up. He's like, absolutely not. We don't do that. Yeah. And then I kind of understood because I'm like, if he pulls out his shoulder, now he's not only hurt, but then now he can't work. So they probably tell them not to. So I never ever ask, I just struggle with it enough,

near somebody, you know, like, I mean, it's really good if it's like someone that's like in the military, or something, they'll hop up in a pot, cop, it's like, but like I just try to get like, and I go, you know, and then, and then a stranger will help. Can I tell you a sad story about flying

that relates to juicy scoop for like two weeks ago? I was at, I left my hotel, about 7 a.m. to head to the airport, and I took a, the free breakfast, whatever, Hilton Garden in, free breakfast, and I took a yogurt from the free breakfast, stuffed it in my bag and said, I'll eat this on the plane.

This will be perfect. And I got up, you know, we've plane flying and rower high altitudes. And I'm like, this will be a perfect time for my yogurt. I pull it out of the bag. And I open it and it kind of explodes a little bit. Because I guess it builds up whatever pressure. It's weird, okay.

And it explodes a little bit. And a little bit where it gets all over my jacket, someone gets on my glasses. I want a nightmare. I know. Yeah. No sooner this happened. The flight attendant comes up and goes,

I just want to let you know, I'm a huge juicy scooper. Oh, I thought you were going to say she was going to think, I just let you watch you know the captain needs you to clean up that yogurt. Yogurt. Here's a wipe. And here's the trash. Well, she goes she goes on a huge issue

thank you for making me laugh all time and i was like oh that i swear she must have been like walk back to the other side of the i think the sold time is like lost

is my he's covering you uh... uh... uh... is that the poop we'll get that's a genuinely kerdis is

poop uh... yeah but it was so embarrassing like of all you couldn't come up five ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha I wasn't happy I was at the 99th Sense Store in Woodland Hills right here. I thought it was like a dollar and nine cents for it. Well, it is not. No, it's a lot. I bought a pool float for my daughter 1499. That's not 99 cents. No, but anyway, I need an extension court. There reason I had to go. Anyway, I'm checking.

You know, and that's kind of something you want to be low key on. And the cashier at the 99th Sense goes, oh, juicy scoop. Oh my God, I love this. I know. I know. I got to go to the 99th century. Where is she looking? She would have freaked out.

Yeah, she's a nice lady. Okay. But anyway, she was a juicy scooper too. I love that. Yeah. Well, thank you very much. You're welcome. Listen, I think being fly-tun in its hard job, that, but my theory is that she exaggerated

the story. I love that theory actually. I kind of agree with it. Um, okay. Uh, armpit hair is all the rage. I knew what was going to happen. I don't like it at all. Rachel McAdden's poses with her armpit hair showing.

I know. I don't like it. There was a girl in college that let her leg hair grow and her armpit hair grow. I'm seeing that one. She was in her sorority and we didn't recruit her like that. She became kind of like hippie-ish. And she said, you know, the reason why is the armpit hair is like to pretend like she said it was like some hygiene reason why you shouldn't shave it or I don't know. I was just like I disagree. Okay. But whatever. I saw something that was so shocking on TV the other day.

Why? Now, I was away. I didn't have my way to go back on a DVR. So I couldn't go back to find out what the commercial was. But I swear to God, this is not from a dream. This is a real thing on a real commercial. Okay. And I know we've all seen, you know, every type of person being

featured other than an attractive model on TV. That was over. That was a like early when you mentioned a Ford model agency, I was like, God, remember the Ford model? I remember when people were like, when pretty people could work. Yeah. Now they'd be like, no, they'd be like, do they have hempeotigo? No, then forget it. They're not getting on this cover. Now, I had noticed some, okay they're not getting on this cover now I had noticed some okay first I'm gonna say what I saw because it was so shocking okay it was I mean use all the right terms it was absolutely a cis female okay meaning a girl who identifies a girl who's born as a girl that's who the model

was got it she had a like a face of makeup. She had red lipstick. She was selling something. Okay. And they zoom in. She's like, and she has an unwaxed female stash. Yeah. And I'm talking law. I saw the commercial. It was on during the Super Bowl, I believe. Yeah. And they never address the fact that she has a stash, right? No. I forget what it's for. I don't know. I saw the commercial. Someone needs to tell me what that is. We have listened.

A lot of people felt like America's gone too far. This was the moment I said, I'm fucking out. I'm ready for the cops that popular stuff tomorrow. Once it's okay, I knew the armpit thing was coming. Well, once it's okay that women start growing out. Yeah, they're female mustaches While having makeup on not in a prison Not if you're in a cave like that Spanish woman for five hundred years. She came out

I mean, I kind of wanted to stay back in them. I agree. That said it was an Amazon commercial. Yeah, it's for Amazon I've I've accepted Uniprowse. I've accepted, I can even accept the armpit hair. Female stash. Yeah. Fucking cancel me. I'm never going to accept that. I'm gonna agree with you on this one.

Mostly because the amount of my life that I've spent first started with started with a bleaching, okay? That's that, then I went from just waxing. Now I just do the whole like, get rid of your dead skin and shave out the same time and because I was told to never do that, cause it's gonna grow back. Like Charlie Chaplin, never did.

But now you can be an analyst. It doesn't, now I need to grow, now I can actually get a commercial. Yeah. No, not okay. I know. I'm with you on this one. I'm 100% with you on this one.

A lot of people think that's what I'm saying, like what I've suffered as someone that's Brunette that's had a facial hair situation. The reason I don't wanna see people rock it, it's because I'm jealous because of what I've suffered. A lot of people feel like that's why people with thin privilege is against people that were not thin getting thin on ozempic.

Because they're like you were always naturally thin. Yeah. But maybe you didn't have a great face. But your best friend who had a beautiful face who was heavy, you were okay with that. Yeah. Well now the beautiful people that were a little heavy are now getting skin, skinning next to ozempic. And then those original skinning people without a great face are now getting skin skinny next to a zempick and then those

original skinny people without a great faith are like you're going the easy way it's all gonna come back they're like yeah like no you just don't like that we can be your size you that you are not supporting women right for right and i support women but i do not support to stay rocking female mustaches on ciss females out in the public and i'm ready for the

something that you know something tells me that did you see that i believe that the juicie cippers who listen to this yeah are um you know are on my side and the in the famous words of kelly dot real house vice-o-c when she was mad at Shannon and they were in Ireland, she said, shave your fucking face! I never said that.

I've been like, oh my God. Shavin my face. Yeah, I'm not okay. I'm gonna, yes, I'm 100% on board of this one. This one is. It's too far. Yeah. Too far, you can,

remember it used to be like an carnival that be bearded lady That was like a free like that's right It would get a job. Yeah, it was a job for that. It would be you'd be a circus act So Annie just left the right right left the newsroom She said the story is in the commercial right girl is about to get rid of her stash is in the commercial. The girl is about to get rid of her stash. Okay. And then she realized some really great people in history,

like Freddie Mercury had a stash that she's gonna keep it and rock it and wears it out, but much like Freddie Mercury. That's fine. Freddie Mercury was a man. Again, I know we're in a genderless society. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

He's a wild time. Yeah, so okay, fine. like you know, yeah, so okay find Do you ever feel I know This is a fun discussion. I can do this shit all day good. Um, because you're staying here Yeah, you got to go to your dodgy. I'm so like you know, yeah, I Was out the dodgy game today but yesterday. Yes, and I was sitting with We win really last night you guys won. Oh, you don't identify.

You don't identify. You don't identify. Because you were born there. Yeah. Because you were born met. You can't transition to Dodger. I know. Well, I think honestly, you've been.

It is funny. It is almost a shithead. Listen, I disagree with this because if people have been living as a woman, if you were living as a woman since you came over here at 22, 24, when did you come to LA? So you've been living as an Angelino since 21. You were born a met and now you've been identifying as an Angelino. Yes. But you are refusing to transition.

Yes, I know. Okay. I know. And actually weirdly is a similar, that's a good analogy. Yeah. It does kind of, but anyway, I went to the, and I was with some comedians.

Yes. And I hadn't seen one in a while and I said, how's everything going? And he goes, I'm just, I'm really depressed. I'm so depressed. And we're at the Met game. I'm like, I'm, I thought he was kidding. And I was kind of like laughing.

And he's like, no, seriously, like that's why I don't do stand up anymore. Like I can't even leave the house. And I was like, well, how are you getting, how did you do the duck? I was like, what is he goes, all the things to go to? He said, I'm on new medication and things

he's going, getting better. And I was just like, is this happen? I'm like, just getting hits and things, fun things are happening. I'm like new medication and things are getting better. And I was just like, is this happening? Like just getting hits and things fun, things are happening. I'm like, oh, okay. I was like, I wanted to be a supportive friend, but I'm like, not the place. So, and then I saw they have, so that, like,

not two minutes after, they're promoting a day at the Dr. Stadium, mental health awareness day at Dr. Stadium, where the hat that you get, like it says, mental health awareness Dodger hat. So against the disease, or, and that's, I love it. I'm all about it. But we use adjusts. We are everybody's got a day.

Everybody's got a day. It's great. Yeah. Every day. I know, I never had a day of anything. I mean, I did because I'm a white guy, you know, so I always had a day. You have Father's Day, but they can't call father's day.

True. Yeah. What's the name? They're calling it. What is it? They're calling it parents. I don't know what they're calling it. Is it really an echo father's day? No, they don't want to call it mother's day anymore, but they're keeping father's day. And hence why we're being erased. They don't want to call it mothers anymore, but they're keeping fathers day and hence why we're being erased Do you really feel you're be like you're you're in a good place right now? I'm a do you feel because I'm older I'm old I am happier than ever my life is great I know God I was born when I was born if I was born any earlier. I wouldn't be any help I'm telling you born any later. I wouldn't be any help i love telling you or any later i wouldn't be any help right i love telling your story i tell it to a lot of my friends what is

my story well come on tell you because i don't think you know i think it's too big i think it's too concerned about women's priests to enjoy your life my sister's i've got my biggest fear is to go to prison i know and i just thought it was because i would have to grow up here and not have a little razors Then I thought I could be funny and entertain people not if I get rid of you You know we get pretty much Yes

I mean here's the thing and I feel a little bit and not not certainly not to your success, but similar We were throat otterscrap peep. You know what I mean? Like it was this it was over Yeah, and I was actually talking about this with TIG. Yeah, and we were at the scrap heap It and then you were like I Like kind of like I'm gonna do a podcast like what the why not I got nothing else is happening and it got to the level that it's at and That's fucking amazing like you are I mean better than you've ever done in life, right? 100% yeah 100% I have no desire to do anything if something comes to me great What's it actually? Oh, I did it. Yeah, I it on someone said what is your goals for the next five

years and I'm like I mean I'm so happy and maybe someone could say I'm not that ambitious or whatever but I'm like I'm so yes would I like more people to know who I am would I like to sell more tickets easily would I like more people to listen to do she's got yes but no i don't have any other thing like all i've got to play this place or right want just want to win it you know an any or be nomin it like i have none of that yeah i want to be a complete on your own terms yeah a person of a certain age which in most cases is you're just dead in any business right no one is certainly and you've beaten the odds on everything.

Good, Craig. Age, female, all of it. And to get to this level, and you're concerned about, and you're concerned about penises and women's prisons, get over it. Who gives a phone? Because I may end up there one day. I don't know. It's happened to my friends Theresa Judae. It's happened to Jen Shaw. Like when I feel the gates close on my place in Tarzanah, these gates we have, you know, they make a big, big, junk, and we have these 10-foot hedges.

And I'm just like, I think I give a fuck about Dylan Mulvaney and about like, I did it. I got a pool. I did it. I got a pool. I did everything I need to do here. Bye bye. So you don't care about helping young women. No, no, no, just kidding. I honestly don't.

I feel like there be other people who can handle that. I'm good. That's fine. You're helping in other ways by being on juicy skin. That's it. Bring you joy to people. This is a really scary thing, and then we'll end it on the show, because I think this is

scares the show. i think this is scarce as you can't terrifying so turned out the end of the story is these people are okay which is why i'm gonna tell you so it's but this mom has a daughter who's on like a ski trip with her friends and she gets a call from

the daughter's phone and it is the daughter's voice saying crying mom help me I've been kidnapped and this person then comes on the phone and they demand one million dollars the girls only 15 years old and the man gets on the phone and says listen here I've got your daughter describing how things would go down you call the police you call anybody I'm going to popper so full of drugs and then I shaking like I'm going to anybody, I'm going to pop her so full of drugs. And then I'll shaking like I'm going to and then I'm going to take her to Mexico. I'm going to have her my way with her and then I'm taking her Mexico where she would be a drug addict,

disappeared sex traffic, everything at 15 years old. She said she didn't have the money and he goes, okay, I'll lower it to 500,000. They got her voice. So anyway, thank God, they realized that through some of the other moms that were with her, but she got on another phone and called and they're like, no, she's going down the bunny run, whatever, she's having a sandwich. They realized that, now this has happened before, but this is the next step in that they were able AI was able to take, and this girl wasn't like a famous TikTok girl or anything, but she had an Instagram, she'd been on a couple of things.

They were able to match her voice, even crying. Yeah. So it sounded like her real daughter's voice and cadence. So crazy. And in the past, because I remember I did a story on this years ago. I had someone come on juice to give a tell the story I've had this happen with their brother Yeah, and they say we have your brother and this and that and they ended up going to a store doing that check Whatever sending the money from a grocery store. This is that yeah, this whole awful thing when they never had the guy at all

Right and the guy had no clue and I can't remember all the details of it. So now they've upped the thing with the AI. Yeah. And I mean, and- And this is just, actually AI just is scaring the shit out. And it is an infancy, but it's just beginning. Like it's gonna be wild, but this is once again. I just got a show going on.

I remember there was some new called AI and it was like, it was like, it's a fake son. It's a Spielberg movie. Yeah. Didn't that a fake son? It was a Spielberg movie. Didn't that have a fake son? Mm-hmm. Like that you could just design your perfect child. Would you kind of now can? You can basically pick the perfect everyone.

Thank God that wasn't a right. Because I don't think I'd be the design my parents would have chosen. You know what I mean? Thank God I'm able to, because I have my calves and that is nice. Like they have a little chosen better calves. Well, even when my sister was having her fertility issues,

and she thought she would maybe need to get an egg of mine. And the doctor said, what about using your sister's egg, just because I was a couple of years younger, and I hadn't had any kids yet. Right. And my dad's like, I think it's fucking weird, you know? And I was like, well,

and I remember I asked the Williams brothers, what would you do? And they were like, if my brother needed my sperm, I'd give my brother, you know, to have his child. Right. And she's like, well, if I use your egg, it'll be 25% DNA. Right. So it will still be some of my DNA.

It won't be my child. And I was like, I thought about it, and I said I would do it. And then turned out she didn't need it. And she had her babies for herself. Yeah. But like, I did say I would do it because she said I would do it and then turned out she didn't need it. She had her babies for herself. But like I did say I would do it because she goes, well, it's okay. There's in in Dr. Paulson's office, I remember being there once and there were these girls who were donating their eggs and this girl had come down with her sister from San Jose or whatever. And then I thought about it and I was like, listen, I'm not a 4.0, I wasn't like the smartest, I got into college, but I wasn't like such a genius.

I mean, people, I tell my kids I was a 4.6 because I went to SC, but the truth is, in 1988, you didn't have to have a 4.6, but they can believe that. Yeah. Anyway, so, but I was like, and I'm not athletic, you know, I'm not gonna be on this way your kids are not gonna But I'm like, but I have some other challenge and Lisa. I know I'm like healthy Yeah, and so I'm like so you know, and I think I'm better than a San Jose stranger egg

I mean, so like you can have it not no fence or San Jose. Yeah, I'm just Sacramento in the fall But I mean, I'm just like, you know, but I do feel that like, but then I also thought about the fact that like, what if I did that? And then her kid is everything. Like he's smart, he's a genius, he's, and then I'm at that, my nephews, you know, medical school graduation.

Why my kid is like barely got out of high school, and then I'm like, to everyone around me, he's not really my nephew, he's my son. You know, and then I'd be like, what if you get the one good egg? Right. Because my parents had five kids, and I was the best,

Shannon and I were the better eggs. Yeah, go ahead. You don't know better eggs. Yeah. Oh, I know. You don't know. Yeah. What if you give your one good egg to your sister? That's great. But you're left with the one egg that's grown a roll. Yeah.

That's to be held back and feel great and you're like, fuck. I mean, if you make another comedy special and you don't call it, I'm better than a San Jose stranger. I have the McDonald's better than a San Jose stranger. Yeah. So, it scares me. Yeah. And I actually said, I think education now should be making a strong, strong move to all test new to be oral.

Everything needs to be based on personality, because anyone can get these papers and everything from AI. And the teachers can't even keep, like, we used to read Clifnotes and rent the movie instead of reading the book in 1988. And then the teachers caught on, and they would rent the movies. And then they would ask us a question that was only in the movie but was different in the book. And then the teacher was like, I know that Heather and I'm like, sorry that I had a blockbuster card.

Because there was over there was tales of two cities or something that hard book. And there was something about waving a flag or whatever. And she's like, why did everybody say this? And someone's like, because in the movie, and then she was like, look, shut up. So then, they could figure out the cliff notes. They would know what to ask to prove that you didn't just read the cliff notes,

but they can't keep up with the AI and what's a real paper from your kid. And what's, I mean, used to be writing a paper was the hardest part was I thought, go into the library, finding the actual books. that took like five hours using that method and then getting you to do a decimal system and the writing it was the easiest part. Yeah. Now, they are not even writing it.

No, these are just perfect. So it's like, it's for the teacher, kids, something we got to teach them how to like just be humans because we're not going to be humans anymore. Yeah, that's our point. We don't need women anymore. We're not going to need anyone anymore. Yeah, we don't need women anymore. We're not going to do it here, but say it there. We're going to be the first to go. And I have a young child.

I got to worry about all this shit. You know, I just stay behind your gates. Sometimes, you know, my wife will be like, we'll go to get her clothes and show me like, oh, this is a cute dress. I'm like, let her choose her. I like it. We joke, we have a cute dress. I'm like, let her choose her. We joke. We have fun with it. What do you people know?

Chris, besides coming on the road with me in a, I'm a, I got a written down. Well, you're listening to this Thursday. I'm at, I'm in, I'm in tonight, where are you tonight? Tonight, I'm in, I'm in the one that you always used to do the joke about walking on the side of the Jacksonville. I'm in I'm in tonight. Tonight I'm in I'm in the one that you always used to do the joke about walking on the side of the Jacksonville I'm in Jacksonville Florida tonight at Comedy Zone just one night one night and then I'm on to Tampa sides blitters and Tampa It's like only a few tickets left that Saturday night. That's a great club

And it's in a nice little like shopping square. Yeah, I love it I'm in a great room. I'm West Palm in it. I love it. And then it's right here. I'm Wes Palmman, Prob the next night. You're beautiful. I'm the next one. You're beautiful. Zaini's in Chicago, Rosemont. Rosemont.

I think that better than that. And downtown. That's Rosemont is April 30th. Downtown is May 2nd. Indianapolis, Helium, May 3rd. St. Louis, Helium, May 4th. And then Omaha Funny Bone, May 12th and 13th. Friendjolo.fun is everything you need.

Look at that. Cover the cover. Cover the cover is my podcast. If you want to hear all my crazy ramblings. Chris, I love you. I love you back. I always enjoy doing this. I'm truly inspired by everything you do.

Thank you for being so nice. I'm so glad that I didn't stop being your friend because you were a accuser of sexual assault, like Sarah doesn't parse her dead. Oh well. So let's hope that never happens, because I will act like I never knew you. I will you.

But I will say, and everybody, go to heavenrechtall.net, you can join my Patreon, you can get all the tickets there, make sure to buy the tickets for my show. And come up to our website. We're gonna have some fun with these live shows, we're doing together, right? Because we got it really good at the end of last time

we did them together. And it's getting even better and because it's a live GC scoop. Yeah. And we do not like, you know, this is the saving special stuff for that. So long Island, and these cogs.

And then all those shows, it's all gonna be good. And anyway, go to HeatherMcDolland.net, subscribe to the podcast here on Apple and as well as, you know, anywhere you listen, but also on the YouTube because we film it, Chris looks cute. Yeah. He spends a lot of time on this. And we really would like more people to be aware of everything that Chris said of how great I am.

You are. You are really great. Love you, honey. Bye. Love you back. be aware of everything that Chris said of how great I am. Thank you, you are. You are really great.

Love you, honey. Bye. Love you back.