Juicy Scoop with Heather McDonald - Love Is Blind, Paris, Coachella with Sarah Colonna

Episode Date: April 18, 2023

I am going on tour! Get tickets at Heathermcdonald.net Comedian Sarah Colonna and I discuss Love is Blind. The live reunion failed to air, and drunk former sorority sisters can make a man run from the alter. I catch you up on the latest Scandavol drama and why Howie Mandel believes being human is an excuse for deceiving your partner for seven months until you get caught. Sarah was on a prank show that still gives little people nightmares. Sisterwives' Christine is engaged! I read Paris' book and will provide you with the juicy details. We don't blame Megan Markle for skipping the coronation. The Worst surprise marriage proposal ever happened, and boy moms everywhere just got a great idea to protect their sons' money. Get extra juice on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/juicyscoop https://heathermcdonald.net/ Subscribe on Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@JuicyScoop/featured Follow me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/heathermcdonald/ Follow me on TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@heathermcdonald?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc Follow me on Twitter: https://twitter.com/HeatherMcDonald Follow Sarah on Instagram @sarahcolonna1  Get a clear bag on https://www.clutchwomen.com/ use code JUICYSCOOP for a discount Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Head of McDonald Has got the Choo-Six Scoop When you're on the road, when you're on the go Choo-Six Scoop is the show to know She talks Hollywood tales Her real life, Mr. Sanctuaryal Data And serial sister, you'll be addicted And a-dixit fast to the number one tabloid real life hot cat

Listen in, listen up. Woo-hoo! And a McDonald. Juicy Scoop. Hello and welcome to Juicy Scoop. We have one of your favorites for turning. Sarah Kelona, funny girl, glowing skin, curly hair. How are you?

I'm good girl. How are you? You're very glowy today, you're skin. Well, I knew you were coming, so I've been seeing Dr. Kasebian, who does my Botox. I also treated myself to a facial yesterday last minute at the, I did a self-care day, I did a day by myself, Peter was gone,

Brandon was gone, and I called the four seasons and less like it was like, can someone get me in for a facial because I'm seeing serenabar and I wanna compete with the glow. I mean, your skin really does look very good. That's nice. Then there were two gay male GC scoopers in the pool

because I was hanging out with the pool. Yeah. And so then I purposely went back after and had two drinks with them. So that was really kind of made it fun. That is fun. That's a real self-care day. I love it.

As I was going to get my facial, the guy is like, I'm a GC scooper. I'm like, I'm coming back to see you in an hour. You're like, we're hanging by the pool. I mean, listen, a couple of gay GC scoopers by the pool. I mean, at a Sunday afternoon at a four season. 75 degrees and what's like village. Why didn't you text me?

I would have gone. You know what I thought? It was so last minute, I was like, I really shut up. You text me. I would have gone. You know what I thought it was so last-minute I was like I really shut up, but I just I will next time anyway. That's a great easy Getaway. Yeah, I actually we had into a juicy scooper yesterday as well Oh, it was a woman she yelled at me from across the street I was walking into the local peasant. Oh, that's a favorite. Yeah, she said Sarah Kelona juicy scooper And it was very sweet and we wave. Were you with a printer?

I was with printer. Yeah. And so that one didn't say anything. No, he was already inside. Yeah, he was there. I was at Pilates. He went before me. I met him there.

For those of you don't know, there is a strong resemblance between Sarah's husband who is a football player now business man, whatever. You want to call me does everything. But he does resemble Prince Harry or Prince Harry resembles him. Prince Harry resembles him. Yes. And they're just because they're both redheads.

Yes. And there was a mentally, um, we believe mentally ill or maybe not. But she said, what did she say on the interval of our screaming on you? We were across the street walking to the grocery store and she said, hey, Prince Harry, fuck you. Okay. The John. Yeah. Top of her like, we believe that she was the little unspable.

Or she was Samantha Megan Markle's sister. We don't know. One of the two. One of the two. Um, let's get into what went down last night because we were hearing from all these people that were freaking out that love is blind season four. Last night I was supposed to re- the reunion where the couples come together.

And it just crashed. We weren't able to watch it. No, I still, I couldn't, you still, I was texting you. Yeah, it was just like a loading, like 25% and it just kept circling. This morning it still wasn't up. I'm like, so I haven't, I just had to read about it because I haven't seen it.

And then I was like, you know, I did download them all for the plane or whatever on my trip to St. Bart's, just fabulous by the way. And I talked all about it on my Patreon. But it was the best trip ever. I highly recommend you guys go. It was really fun. Have you ever been to St. Bart's?

No, but I want to go. And your trip made me want to go more. I kept showing John photos. It is so beautiful, so fun. And, you know, it is, it is a, it is a track for an LA person to go more. I kept showing John photos. It is so beautiful, so fun. And, you know, it is a, it is a track for an LA person to get there, but it's worth it. So we went because Peter's a genius. Did you sail there?

No, we didn't feel it. We went from LAX to Panama, like Panama City in Panama, which was like a seven hour flight, but we did first class and we laid Dr. Brad Bragg would have traveled a lot and I deserve it anyway, and slept on the pod and then we did carry on only Yeah, you only had a one hour crossover then went to St. Martin and then the tiny plane to St. Bart okay, but I left LA exit 10 30 at 9 on Tuesday and was on my friends

Yacht that was docked right there across from all the fancy of shops Gucci Prada. You guys would have had fun By like noon on Wednesday. That's what I heard getting in and like go getting in in the morning. So you're enjoying your afternoon now. Okay, just real quick., pod my favorite thing in the world I feel like I had the dating pods. No the sleeping pods on a plane. Yeah leaving pods on a plane Now I forgot what I was gonna ask you never mind about what I do there. I don't know what I was gonna ask you I had just my whole brain. I brought all the snow the carry on. I'm so proud of you Okay, I don't know why I didn't think that you would be able to be a light packer. I, I enjoyed the challenge. And I was also like, I know I can buy clothes there. And if worse comes to worse, I can then check in on the way home.

Buy another bag, check in. And which I did. On the way home, I did just check in my bag. Peter kept his car, but I'm like, I'm checking these in. I, um, I, this, people asked me, okay. So what did I do? I wore prayer tennis shoes.

I brought one pair of flip-flops and one wedge. That's it. That's it. I brought no cute purses. I only brought my one, like, purse to wear on the plane, like a crossover. Yeah, because you're gonna be walking around so much. You don't want to keep up with it. And one tiny box of jewelry.

I brought no curling iron, no nothing. You don't need it because you're on by the beach. I brought no curling iron, no nothing. You know, I need it because you're on by the beach. I had beach wear. But I did bring, but I mean, I brought me makeup and stuff, but I was really good about like the sizes of things and it was just like, and then I brought like five suits, only two cover-ups and like four little dresses rolled up, two pairs of shorts, two tanks. I'm honestly getting like a little wet right now. And this one shorts and it worked. It's no because this is how that's what I do.

I am. And then I did buy two really great dresses, long silk, beautiful dresses, and like a cute little bag and a one pair of Dolce and Gabbata shoes, which was not a wise choice to buy shoes because they take up room. Yeah. And so I that was my only, that was my a wise choice to buy shoes because they take up room. Yeah. And so I that was my only that was my carry on for the rest of the trip all the way home. I just kept carrying that bag. But yeah, but like that gives you the choice to buy dresses to wear that night, which is what you kind of want to do.

Yeah. And if you want, I mean, if you want to, if you, I'm adamant about not having to check it either way, because I don't like having to wait for a bag at LAX either. I've done 10 days, no bag check. I've done 10 days. But it was Cabo. So it's, you know what I mean? But all of a sudden, yes. But all of a sudden, yes.

But all of a sudden, yes. But all of a sudden, yes. But all of a sudden, yes. But all of a sudden, yes. But all of a sudden, yes. But all of a sudden, yes. But all of a sudden, yes. But all of a sudden, yes.

But all of a sudden, yes. But all of a sudden, yes. But all of a sudden, yes. But all of a sudden, yes. But all of a sudden, yes. But all of a sudden, yes. that anything I wanted washed, I knew it's not it's not difficult to have that done. So it's like if you can wash your clothes Yeah, it's called the crew. It's called crew But if you are in a situation where you have access to a wash that changes things too. That's true because they're just like Yeah, you just need a couple t-shirts, but you're gonna wash them on day three. Yeah Somehow in my brain I didn't even register that there would have been a washer a dryer on a yacht, but yeah, yeah Yeah, yeah, it brain, I didn't even register that there would have been a washer and dryer on a yacht, but yeah, of course there was, right?

That's lovely. It was so fun and they encouraged dancing on tables. They don't care about lawsuits. They're like, get on this table bitch. I loved it. There is expensive, like food, everything's expensive, but so fun, beautiful. Okay.

Cung out with Teresa and Louis from under. I saw that. Now, did you know they were gonna be there? No. Oh, okay. beautiful. Okay. Kang out with Teresa and Louis from Under Jersey. I saw that. Now, did you know they were gonna be there? No. Oh, okay. Someone DMed me and said she was there and I DMed her. And we made it fucking happen. Had you met her before? No, we're just DMing about you know,

because I follow the show's stuff. No, I didn't meet her at BravoCon. I met her if that was where I met. Oh, okay. And then we, you know, then we like all made a plan to me. And it was just super fun. And met her husband, Louis. And he was taller and cuter and less red in the face.

He's just more tan in person. Oh, well, he was in the same part. They're very tan people. And I think sometimes on New Jersey, on real half-size New Jersey, sometimes the glare makes him look, or in other people look a little red. But in person, very cute.

And very nice, very fun. Nice. Into it. They're into each other, madly in love. Good times. All right. Yeah, so we just had blast. So I didn't watch it because I don't know.

I said, because I'd read Paris's book instead, which I'm going to get to. I read Paris's book instead of watching Love Is Blind. So last night when you texted me, I was like, you know what, it's 6.45. I'm going to jam through this and I'm going to watch it. And let me tell you something, binging something like Love is Blind in three hours. You feel extremely accomplished. Yeah, that's the way to do it. And it was pretty satisfying because as you go on once they've cooked up for those people, I don't know, they mean in the pods, they don't get to see each other.

They hit it off with one or two people, then they go, okay, I'm gonna ask you to marry me. Then there's like five or six couples that go off to Mexico, and then from there they go and live for like five weeks, six weeks as a couple. So once they become couples, then you kinda like care about the, I don't know, then I was like only into a couple. So once they become couples, then you kinda like care about the,

I don't know, then I was like only into a couple of the couples so I'd kinda skim through the other people's conversations and stuff like that. Well, I think that's what I need to do from now on, is watch it that way, because John, my husband, he really likes it. So we watch it separately, because he is really into it,

whereas I get more annoyed by it, but then I keep watching it, but then I complain about the people, and how dumb a lot of them are. So I think, and I don't like, I actually find the pod part to be very painful to watch. Yes, the pod I need to get through, because they, just the way they're like,

oh my God, what? And I just, I'm like, you're talking to a wall. And then they say a sad story. Yeah, I don't like that. I would have fallen asleep like the one girl fell asleep but they still got married. There are, I'm gonna do spoilers. Like you guys, I'm not ruining anything for you.

Who cares, you should have watched earlier. Yeah, I mean, the fact that the reunion was so built up to be live and we still haven't seen it because it's still not available. I think it's available in some places. I read some people watched it, but the fact that they built it up like this and then it had a colossal failure is crazy to me.

But then I thought maybe this is the marketing genius because it got me to watch the whole thing last night because I was like, oh my God, this is gonna be huge and the thing crashed. And they made it sound like it would crash because so many people are trying to log in and watch it, but I don't even know if that's true. Yeah, I feel like it just,

I think they just fucked something up on a technical idea. And then it was funny because like a breast bravo tweeted out, like we would never do this to you at a reunion. And I thought that was pretty funny, but Twitter was funny about like, I was seeing people melt down. I mean, the

people that were actually angry about it were I was like, all right, well, you know, you need something else to do. I do want to talk about a couple of couples that I was interested in. Okay, this girl, what was her name? Chelsea. Chelsea and Kwant Kwame. Kwame. Kwame. Who, by the way, yes, was spotted. Someone put it on Twitter or TikTok and Instagram, that he, they found him on season 10, I believe, of Mary to first sight in the casting call. So we did a casting call, but he wasn't chosen. He wasn't chosen, but it's the same producers. So. But you know, I don't think that's so terrible. I want to say something a little profound. Okay, go ahead.

I think this love is blind show. You should not go on it unless you truly want to try to get married. Really, really. Because I don't see these people popping. They're not doing dancing with the stars. They're not... I mean, sure, maybe they have some Instagram followers. Maybe they can sell some flat tummy tea.

But there's not anyone from the last four seasons that has a longevity in the podcast world or in social influencing world or anything. No, they're just popular for the season. They really are. And I do see why some people, especially on this day and age, I'm like, every time I watch this and these people are so desperate to get married, I'm always like, why am I not more grateful that I'm married? I'm like, apparently I have what everybody wants, whatever I'm watching, and they're like,

and I just want to be, you know, with my partner forever and like, have a house and like, travel, and I'm like, oh, I have that. Why am I miserable just getting your dollars back? I was begging for it. Well, I guess I just feel that, because I agree with you, because the Tiffany and Brett, right? No, wait, who stayed together? Okay, well, Quanny and Chelsea.

Right. So he is, this guy, Quanny, he was an immigrant, Quanny. He was an immigrant Kwani. He was an immigrant from when he came over like eight years old from I forgot the country, some place in Africa. And very smart. Yeah. Not only is he a software designer, you know, like, you know, tech guy, but also like pretty profound in in analyzing their relationship. He really became more attractive and grew on me, but they did a real thirsty thing. They did a photo shoot in their underwear

for their engagement photos. I didn't see that. I remember when Chloe took that famous photo with Kristen Tanderer on her belly, and that's how they announced she was pregnant with Drew before he had another baby with someone else and then a second one with her and he's back in the family but whatever. And like, she's cute, she's thin,

she's got a nice body, a nice ass, he's super fit. But this was like so cringe and they had this like English guy being like, hey Kwame, can you just put your forehead on her belly? And like they're like posing and it was just, and he's like up on the bed taking photos and they're like, I was like, do you imagine? Oh, what's to do that for an engagement shoot? Who are you sending that to? No, your family.

And what's also crazy is when she like, she like, surprised us or family with the fact that she's engaged and she's engaged this guy. And they are like so accepting, so happy for her, so happy for them as a couple. Like absolutely. Like they are embracing him more than Chris Jenner embraces any sudden law or baby daddy that walks into the house. Like beyond embracing. Yeah. His mom says, I'm not interested in meeting her or ever coming to your wedding. Tile's I'm not interested in meeting her or ever coming to your wedding You like you've shamed the family by like getting married and she didn't go didn't go So but this is to the point of you saying you shouldn't do this unless you really want to get married Which I agree yeah, but I have a hard time believing you want to get married so bad that you started on married at first sight

And then ended up in love is blind like that's more TV if you really want to get married Why are you only trying to do it on TV? Right. Well, I don't know. I think his mom is like, come on buddy. I really hope they make it work, but he also really, he really liked this other girl, Micah, who's the other star of the show, who's blonde.

And do you have a photo for, oh, this is here, look, look at this photo. She's looking great, guys. Oh, wait, I just go back. I have these more photos. Go check out my YouTube. Please subscribe. But like, just in their underwear,

looking out the window, which is like, it was really great. Here's a photographer. While me, perhaps you can have your head on, forehead rest, you want a chest. And she's like really feeling herself. Like, I'm like, come on. You're not a model. But whatever, you've had cameras. I mean And she's like really feeling herself. Like I'm like, come on, like you're not a model, but whatever, you've had cameras.

I mean, she's got a nice body. And you had cameras fall all year round for like three months that's got to change your point of view of yourself. That's got to make you. One way or the other, it's either gonna make you insane or make you really proud of yourself. I know, it's just, okay. So there's girl Micah.

This is Micah right here. She's pretty blanche 26. She, he liked her too. And she, it told him, Kwame, I'm interested in someone else. So then he got into Chelsea and they became a couple. But then the Micah girl, who's like, sorority girl 26 with like, she does have too much of the bad eyelashes.

She has the Muppet lashes too much and long blonde hair extensions, but she's pretty cute You know she's cute enough. She's not I mean she's pretty she's not LA pretty, but she's like I mean she's pretty It's horrible, but I'm just saying but her friends think she clearly was the hottest one in this sorority because I just have to tell you the scenario that happens So the guy she chooses is a scientist, Ellen. Brilliant. Oh Heather. I just, I don't care you guys. I don't.

I don't. And you'll see what I mean. Okay. So anyway, she, but she's good looking. She's a nice figure. You know, anybody would talk to her in a bar like she's cute. And she would definitely get into sororities. And anyway.

So she goes to introduce, oh wait, but first of all, so she was flirting hard with the Kwame after they were already paired up with their people. When they all get together in Mexico and they hang out with couples, they're all getting drunk off to Kiela Shots in the pool and she's like flirting so hard with him.

So that was pretty juicy. Yeah, and Chelsea was pissed because he was fully ignoring her. And Chelsea and him had been boning like three times a day in front. Yeah. I would have just left right then to be honest with you. It would have been like a fuck yourself. Yeah. That's pretty telling about him.

I mean, I know they ended up together and got married. And I don't know. But we don't know how they are today. It's a big red flag. Yeah. Yeah. So, but this is the juicies. This is the juicies of the funniest part of the entire series.

If there is an episode, we had to look up the episode. Do you remember what episode? I think it was like eight or something. Anyway, Micah, the sorority girl, brings the environmental scientists who's now her, she's engaged to, to go meet her two sorority sisters. I don't know if they're sorority sisters, but I'm gonna guess $9,000 billion trillion that they are. Right. Okay, and one girl Shelby looks exactly like Micah, but like just a little less hot. The same white hair blonde hair touches,

the same up at lashes, the same like way a little too much base. Oh yeah, there's a lot of. Oh, you did a side by side. Oh, here we go. These are the two girls. Wait, hold on. Here they are.

See how much they look alike. Oh wow, they really do. They really, really look alike. They have the same makeup, the same eyebrows. Why do they wear so much makeup? I want everyone to do what they want, but I just want to say, when you wear so much makeup, when you're so young, it makes you look older

and you don't need it. I mean, I think we're starting to move away from that, but for like four years, every makeup tutorial was a 12-year-old doing 12 steps of face. Yeah, and contouring and all that. And I'm baking under my eyes. Why do you think you're 12? They do that on that. Did you watch the shit?

Is it temptation? Not temptation, Ireland, but whatever. One of the other shows on an island somewhere? Oh, the one with the girl that, you know, the one with like the Alexa pops up, too hot to handle. Okay. Oh, they, I mean, and they're on a beach and they just, but they put so much makeup on.

I'm like, how can you even enjoy this sun? It's gonna, it's gotta be so uncomfortable under all that makeup. No, I think we're gonna be moving away from like the 12 different steps of stuff. Like the whole point of being young is like, you know, not having, and all. And then you when you get older,

just make sure that's all. Anyway, sometimes small daily actions really make a big difference, especially when it comes to caring for your hair. A little goes a long way. Yes, I am loving my way products. So whether your hair is fine, medium or thick, or whether you're looking for volume, shine, or hydration, their shampoo and conditioners are made to really give your strands exactly

what they need. I am loving their detox shampoo right now. I have found it's making a huge difference to really clean my scalp, give it that deep cleanse, and bring it back to life. Also adding strength and softness and shine, it's just that special combination of their products that just help to enrich. And really, you do get that build up, especially when you use a lot of hairspray, a lot of, you know, different products, I think the detox shampoo is so important.

So get on your way to healthier hair one day at a time with shampoos and conditioners that are just your type. Go to the way THEOAI.com and use code juci for 15% off your entire purchase. That's the way THEOAI.com code juci. O U A I dot com code juicy. So they were a lot of base and so. This girl shall be is like such a drunk bitch and I just want to say she'll be for listening. Obviously you know your star from the show you came off horribly but I'm talking about you so that should make you happy. Anyway, this girl is every this girl is a sorority girl who was a real drunk thing all throughout college and

that all of them got together this is one guessing and you know sucked a lot of a lot of dicks okay and had some fun and got real drunk but enjoyed their college no no and no and probably not great looking ones but the guys that they got with but like they went on spring breaks they knew the bouncer they got drunk they did shots girls they had fun they laughed about the next day in burritos they so hard to crew that so she is not happy she's not happy and her sat in green outfit that her friend Micah has a boyfriend a fiance now and she's already drunk and she's talking to him and she's like I mean, but Shelby's like the best I mean she's her name is Kelly Well Micah's like the best girl in the world and it's like and I you have to get through me and then Micah's like

You have to understand she gets angered easily and she like has ruined every relationship I've ever had. Well, because I care about you. And because these guys suck. And so like, how do you know that she's the right one for you? And he's like, well, from the moment we met, there was a real connection. And she's like, you're talking like to articulately. I'm not into it. She said that. Oh my God. Oh my God. And she was, well, he's a scientist scientist and she's like, yeah, that's what I'm not like feeling And then she's like well, we're engaged and she's like, yeah, I'm not with it She's what do you mean you're not with it? She's like, I'm just that and that is that right for you It's that so then she does her so then she does her um

Like you know interview off to the side with the other girl who's the brunette version of them and she's like I say no like and then she gets more drunk and she's like, and the other crying to each other, she's like, you just do not understand because like, I love you. I care about you and we're best friends and like, when you sleep, I sleep, I want it like they literally, I don't think she's a lesbian. I don't think she wants to eat my cause box. I don't. I don't think she wants to be your life partner. But they're 26 now and it's like, joined at the hip, she doesn't want them to grow up.

Doesn't want to grow up and she's like realizing that the drunken antics that were like kind of hot and cute at 19 are probably not as appealing now at 26. And her friend is not only on a TV show, but she found like a very cute looking guy. He's by far the cutest one I believe on the cast. I thought he was very handsome. And I'm really pretty nice and tall and cute

and put together and actually like smart and has a career. And the girls were so bitchy and then she's like, so I don't know, I don't, you know, because I don't know if I like you. And he's like, well I don't know. I don't, you know, because I, I don't know if I like you. And he's like, well, I don't really care. And then Mike, it goes, don't say you don't care about Shelby's opinion. She's my best friend. He goes, well, I care about you. But like what? And she's like, don't say that. Like, because I'm going to let you guys have a shot. And like, I don't want to say is like, bitchy drunk girls. It's not being such

fucking bullies to guys at bars. Like, like, there are people too. And like, youy drunk girls. It's not being such fucking bullies to guys at bars. Like, they're people too, and like, you, if a guy was being rude to a woman like that, if a guy was being like, I don't want to hear you speak. Yeah. After chatter. We all be like, oh my god, what a man's playing dick. Like, they were, she was awful.

Well, and we're awful. They're awful in the beginning. Yeah. And she kind of became a little bit more tolerable or like nice. Yes. But I also do feel like I didn't watch it from start to finish. Yeah. I don't have a strong opinion on all of them.

Obviously, so just say how, like, you know, what do you call first impressions? But if your friends are like that. Yeah. And then I know that everyone's mad at him because at the end he said when he said no. For the alert, they get to the altar and he's like, and they say, you know, do you take this man to her and she goes, I want him to go first. So then he says, no, I don't think we're ready to get married. And then she runs off and, you know, he tries to console her and she's just like, get out

and humiliated. And Shelby is cheering from the audience. She's so happy to like, that's my girl. We're gonna fucking get shots after this. That's like weird response, by the way, to cheer and to let your best friend go up there and have like to do see her. Oh, like why don't they use some

that tape? I know and then I'll tape. Well then John was like, it's not a bra, there's no backstrap. So I think it was one of those long, it must have been a long back pant like spank suit or something. But still like, why aren't you covered? Yeah.

Because you're not a fracked friend. You're not a good friend. Yeah. But Micah, look at your back. But the reason that Brian's made everyone's mad at him for saying that he felt that she wouldn't, he didn't see her as a great mom. I guess he says that in the room

and that some people have been able to see. Yeah, yeah. No, I think he said it before. Maybe in the conversation. I'm a little bit scared. Yeah, but, because on the reunion, he had to apologize it from my room. Okay, but people got mad and they were like,

oh, that's so, you know, gender stereotype and all this. But I'm like, I think it might be based on this shit. It's, yeah, it seems like you're still living, I mean, look at your friends. Sometimes the friends can tell you a lot about someone and I'm not blaming it all on her friend, but sometimes it makes you go, wait a minute, why are her friends like this?

It's just like my brother, my son. And I saw these two bitchy girls, especially Shelby, say the thing and the whole and the whole that she had about their opinions still being so strong and not being like, I mean, run for the hills. Yeah. I mean, because Michael should have said, look, she'll, you know, Shelby, my son, you know, yeah, I don't just just as she stood up for her. She should have stood up for him too. Yeah, right?

And said, hey, yeah, well, I'm curious to see if they're even seeing each other anymore, but my netflix was down. So they didn't make it, but Kwame and his underwear model, they made it the two of them in their underwear. Chelsea, they made it underwear. And then there were two other couples that made it. So I'm not going to get into all that. But that was the juicy part I thought.

Speaking of something that I guess you could do in a cave for 500 days, it took me three hours. But for 500 days, the Spanish athlete was alone in a cave. Did you hear about this? She did it for science. So she was in a cave for 500 days. That's a whole year. I don't know if she had any natural light,

like a sunroof or something from the cave. But I feel like I go crazy. Because her hair, her hair, it kind of crazy. When she got out, the first thing she asked was, who's buying the beer? Sounds like a lot of fun. Like this sounds all, anyway, she entered in November 21st of 2021. She went down into the cave with the intention of staying there for 500 days.

She was exploring the efforts of isolation on the body and the mind. She said she got a state in the cave longer. She spent her days reading, drawing, exercising and knitting and vlogging for a Spanish production company to turn her experience into a documentary. Then she lost track of time after two months. She never even considered hitting a panic button, and a team wasn't charged up providing her food or removing her waste.

She did not want to be contacted down the cave, even if a family member died. So the whole thing is like studying her brain about isolation after 500 days. It sounds nice right now, you know? Right now I'm like, oh, that kind of sounds nice. I like to go on a cave for 500 days. I couldn't, at 50 minutes, I'd go crazy. I realized this, this would be the worst thing ever for me because even when I'm extremely

tired and I have like one or two days, you know, when it was raining for like, well, it's been raining a lot. Yeah. The first weekend of the horrific LA rain storm, I like went and bought stuff to make chili. I was like, hunkering down. I was really looking forward to just a weekend staying home. By the second weekend, and certainly by the third, I'm like, I'm fucking done with this shit.

You're like, when can I get on a yacht? The same part. Yeah. I need to be social, I need to have fun, I'm fucking done with this shit. You're like, when can I get on a yacht to save parts? I need to be social, I need to have fun, I need to go out. So for me, I can't. This would be the worst thing on Earth for me. I would not like it like that way too long. But I think there's a lot of people

that could probably pull it off with all the right amenities. I was like, I was like, I was like, I'm just, not a cave. I know, I need to see the inside of the cave. Did she, was it nice like the inside of like the, you know, the, I was like, not a cave. I know, I need to see the inside of the cave. Was it nice? Like the inside of like the, you know, the, I dream a genie bottle kind of. Yes. Oh, I always wanted that I dream a genie bedroom with the pink cushions. I could totally be a genie if I had that stomach and that cute living room. Living the room looked nice in there. So if it's something like that. No, I don't think it was.

It was a cave. But why did you have to be in, I guess, because, honestly, if you were just in like a cabin in the woods, that's different and a lot of people have done that. Yeah, you have to be something with darkness. Yeah, I think it's about the darkness. And hard to get out of, probably. Where you couldn't just like walk,

take a walk around the property. Yeah, because I am really good at being alone. I enjoy my alone time, big time, almost too much. Okay. But 500 days is a lot. It's very weird. Yeah. So good luck to her.

And but at least she got a documentary on it. He said she got the vlog, so did she have, so she should have cared. Like, did he have Wi-Fi? Oh, maybe not Wi-Fi, she just, oh, she was just recording herself and putting it up later No, she definitely didn't know anything that was going on in the news nothing Okay, so she is is that you could come out of that cave and the world could be over with and there could be like dinosaurs walking around again

You wouldn't know so it wasn't even gonna, they were even if something like that was happening. If they said the last of us happened, there's fucking zombies eating faces. Do you want out? Well, I guess you wouldn't want out then either. Yeah. Yeah. But so they weren't supposed to tell her anything. If anything, big, crazy happened.

I mean, maybe if there was like the end of the world, but as far as like anyone close to her dying or something really, really like no, no. Crazy. Alright, let me just get into this. You got it. You got to cut me out. Yeah. So he did his one and only interview with Howie Mandel. And a lot of people wondered why did he choose to do Howie Mandel. And the reason Adam... Howie Mandel have a radio show? He has a podcast. Everybody does. He does it with his daughter.

Okay. And the daughter was a vanerpump fan. Oh, God. But he never watched any. And but he did meet, how he did meet Sanneval at a wedding for his producer who married Sanneval's drummer. Okay. So that's the connection of why he did that show.

Okay. And to get his word out, and he's on tour with the drummer, and he still wants people to come see the show. So it's kind of smart that he did it. And, but it was very frustrating as someone to listen to. Okay. What did he say? Well, basically, how he manned Dell, who doesn't watch the show and doesn't know anything,

was like, let me just get this straight. For all intents and purposes, we've got a young talented guy, he's 40. I don't think that's young, sorry. A young talented guy who's got a lot of businesses, he's a musician, he's a bar owner, he's kissing Tom's ass, okay. And for what you're telling me, Tom, the UN Ariana, the relationship pretty much, you know, bizzled out.

You're surrounded by a business, no wonder he did the interview. It's like a, yeah, yeah, got it. But I mean, also, I mean, it doesn't make, I mean, people are like want to kill how he's mandolin. So then how he's like, and you know, here you are and you're surrounded by a beautiful, smart, fabulous, great person. Who's your friend, Raquel?

And she's surrounding you and you guys are good friends. And you know, you have a moment, you're human, a vulnerability. And you know, you're not, it's not the relationship we want to home and it happens. I swear to God, he said you're human at least seven times. And that's what really pissed me off because I'm like, no, humans are above animals. We have critical thinking. Yeah, I know so.

We don't eat like, so I'm like, yeah, but I'm like, yeah, there's animals. If you're all coyotes and you're in a relationship with a hot coyote and then one night, you're in a different part of Maholand or the Valley and you meet another coyote and you're horny, I get it. You might want to fuck that coyote and you forgot that you had a relationship with another coyote in Woodland Hills and now you're in an casino. I get that. Okay, but you're in Antino. I get that. Okay. But you're in Valley Village and you own your home that's three million dollars with a woman that you've been with for nine years.

Yeah, that's well, I don't like that. So I'm like, I hate that it's human and people make mistakes because the mistake wasn't. And then when people compare it to like, well, Lala, you know, had an indiscretion and and jacks did and Kristen throughout the series, people, they were cheating moments. There was a girl in Miami. There was this that that they're like, why is this?

And he's like, why is this such a big deal when there's been cheating on the show? It's such a big deal because it went on for seven months. Yeah. And while they were filming best friends back, I mean, they were deceiving not only Ariana, who was best friends with Raquel. They spent that much time together. Um, but all their friends, they were deceiving not only Ariana who was best friends with Raquel. They spent that much time together But all their friends they were deceiving and then he was also deceiving their counselor. They went to Come counseling is

We never told the counselor that he's cheating is how he man down Marion. Yes for 43 years Guys, I if I heard my husband just being like I mean you're human You're I hope his wife called when she she's like, well, we will apart. I was human too. Remember that song? I'm only human. Oh, man. That's what it's about.

It is? Yeah. That must be how he's best friend. Yeah, that song. Yeah, I know. That's a, that ends up basically was he going along with it like, yeah, I guess. Yeah, I am just human.

No, he was like, hey, there's no excuse to this and did it. But he was also defending himself in that Ariana, like, didn't want to go to social stuff that she threatened to unalive herself if he broke up with her, that he tried to break, that he did break up with her on Valentine's day. He said, I want to break up with you and she was like, no, you're not going to break up with me. And then she turned really sweet and lovely. And he's like, God, I wish you were like this before. and she was like, no, you're not going to break up with me. And then she turned really sweet and lovely.

And he's like, God, I wish you were like this before. I started screwing Raquel, you know? Because now you're like, really nice. Whoever you go, whoever gets this version of Ariana is like a really lucky person. But that's not what I had these last few years. Has she admitted to any of the stuff he said that she threatened to harm herself or anything? No, she has not responded to that. They already filmed the reunion before he did the interview with Howie Mandel.

Okay. And obviously all the episodes are done and everything. But no, then it was just, yeah, I mean, it's just what every cheater says, you know, like, like, oh, and then he goes, and we had this big opportunity come up as a couple, like, I get it, you know, you have a house and no one wants it, but then you, but you can't, you can't, it's a deception. It's okay that you don't want to be married to anymore. And we all agree, it sucks to get divorced.

It sucks to break up assets. It sucks to like, whatever it is. You're working together all of that sucks. But the daily deception for seven months, you and Raquel did with not only her, but everybody in your friend group. And then they said that you used to call her Jamie in his phone. So he called her a cal Jamie in his phone. So I believe that she probably did suspect he was cheating, because he's like, I went off to Miami, and like, aren't I didn't even ask me

like where I was staying? I mean, I'm like, he's like, and I was acting distant, she like didn't even care enough to be like, hey, like aren't you cheating? Like, he was like mad that she wasn't like confronting him and being like, where's your dick Ben? Like, she was still just like, whatever we're doing her own thing.

So then he goes, so then he's like like so I think what happened the night she discovered it is she was at his shows supporting him his phone fell out And then I think she she looked at this name Jamie Thinking this must be some girl he's sleeping with this what I think and then saw all the exchanges and saw the face timing Which was sexual and recorded between and saw the face timing which was sexual and recorded between Raquel and Tom. And that's when then she knew it was Raquel, got it. And then she calls Raquel and Raquel's talking to Ariana and Shina, who has no clue, who has also just played a best friend game with Raquel and watch what happens live. But she thinks Raquel is also her best friend. She's like, who are you talking to? And Rebecca goes,

oh, it's Ariana, she just found out that I've been having an affair with Tom for seven months. Let me just finish this call. And so that's when she does like, what the fuck? And so that's what happened. So that is why people are still talking about it because in the history of reality shows,

in the all reality shows, there have been cheating, there's been husband's cheating, there's been indiscretions, there's been, you know, a straight guy who gets with a gay guy, whatever. But never has there been a seven month deceptive long affair between cast members. Yeah, and- That's why people are obsessed with it.

Right, no, and I mean- That's why I keep talking about it. No, it makes sense, but also there's something new always comes out like you said with that, how we man. And that's why I keep talking about it. No, it makes sense. But also, there's something new always comes out, like you said with that, how we manned out. I mean, I just can't, I know that my husband would never cheat on me, but if he did, and then he just went, I'm sorry, I'm human, I would murder him.

I would murder him with my bare hands. Can you mark this? Because I, just like Lala, will be profiting off of the arrest of Seracola. Right. Because I'm sorry, but I'm going to be on the documentary because we have this moment. We're like, she said it on my podcast. She said it. I thought she was joking.

You know, so anyway, he says everyone's been profiting off of this. You know, they have all they have their own podcast. They, you know, Lala had a funny moment where she's like Rekel center a season to assist and she's like I don't need to see that in the morning send it to my attorney Darryl She made sweatshirts called send it to Darryl I don't and she's like yeah, I'm gonna profit off of it, you know profit off. This is our business. This is our job I mean, they're from a show. They're from a show and it's about reality and their podcasts are about reality. And like, that's it. Like, what do you want? This is what people want to discuss.

And all the little Easter egg clues are kind of fun because you're looking back at things and you're like, oh my God, you know, this means this and this and all this was happening and this was the date and who knew and when and like, I'm not gonna waste the whole show talking about it but like, there is so much that, but I did think this was kind of funny.

So, I remembered back when there was an episode, when Randall was still with Lala, and to get back it's sand of all or whatever. He hired these two fake cops to like act like he was being arrested. Okay. And Katie will like, never thought it was funny. And they're like, you're a wet towel. Why don't you think it's funny?

She's like, I just don't think that shit's funny. Like thinking that your friend is gonna be like arrested and like for charges that, you know, now we have to get a attorney and like they believed it. And I'm, yeah. And I don't know, I just, it reminded me, like, I don't know, how do you feel about like pranks like that? Like I don't know how, I, like at the time

I didn't think it was a big deal, but now I'm like, it is kind of weird. And also, I can't believe that they didn't, that they believed that cops would come in and there's cameras filming their show. And they weren't like, hey, we can't have this be filmed, we're arresting something. Like, but whatever, they're not, you know, they're not all the sharpest ones, but still.

I mean, as a lady who worked on a show where I pranked people, um, scare tactics. Oh, that's right. Yeah. Tell us about it. Well, I would say, the only reason I would say that I can speak to someone believing something in the moment. Yeah.

Because there were things we did, like, I gave birth to a devil baby, like a little, and we had a little person, and he was painted red, and and he had horns and he came out from under the table. Yeah, it's on YouTube if anyone really wants to. We have to throw a steal of this. Yeah, I remember that. I need to figure out this when I asked you this. Yeah, and the woman that was like the nurse in the facility, if you put someone in a position weird enough,

they can just, like everyone was like, there's no way, I was like, there's no way this girl's gonna fucking leave this. I'm giving birth to the devil baby, but you put, you know, we brought him to like an abandoned like hospital thing. It was, she thought she was working there for the day and it was not abandoned, like,

it was kind of, anyway. But you put people in weird enough situation and they do. I mean, she was screaming. She was freaking out. And I was like, I can't. And then I had to like shoot up giving birth, right? Like screaming, giving birth and then like laid out.

Die. So she thinks she's like working at this place, but it's a medical facility just for the day, but she's not acting as a nurse. She just happens to be there. And she's like, she's doing like a desk job for the day. And they're like, we need you.

Oh my God, we're having a difficulty. We need you to come on in. I think that was rat. I think that wasn't it. No, that's not it. That's not it. Yeah, that is that's from the episode I did. That's definitely that's a girl you scared. Yeah. Okay.

There was a bunch of I did a bunch of episode. Oh my god. But that, but anyway, it was a classic people people in weird enough situations. Yeah. Without thinking I not that he was in a weird situation. He was on his own TV show. But right. You know, sometimes you just don't think fast enough. I agree. Okay, wait, let's get to this. But so I guess I can't say that I'm against pranking since I used to get paid to do it, but I don't, to like my own friends I would never do it. Sometimes I couldn't believe the shit people would set, you know, their friends up for. Yeah. Like that. Yeah. Um, yeah, with the pranking, I,

when we were Chelsea lately, there was a whole book written in the lies that Chelsea had on her toll. Right. And it was like a thing that went for like three years of like her going on our emails and like I'd always leave my email open and she I do remember this one thing that she did. What was that? So I had a deal with NBC with her for my own sitcom and writing the pilot and she wrote the the girl that I was writing it with who's like an experienced showrunner. I don't know how to tell you this. I know we're writing a show together, but I found out Peter's cheating, and we're getting divorced.

And, you know, and I didn't know that any male went out. And so I'm like in the, in the media, I don't know how I thought, I don't know if I saw a copy of it, or if the other writer wrote me and was like, are you okay? I don't like that. She replied to it. She's probably like, are you okay? And everything because I'm thinking,

she's probably like, shit, you know, this deal's dead. This is about, it's a scripted show about a battle a woman who's like the whole thing. I am, well, as Ariana and Tommas, our brand is saying married. So my brand was like, you know, I'm married. Like, where, how could we continue with the show

if this is really okay? And also how awful it is that I'm really really getting divorced and it went out for like five hours So it's like kind of really shitty to the woman that thought she was gonna have a sitcom with Heather McDonald for the next seven years that would have gone into syndication Right little did you know it didn't go past this point, but but we still had several more meetings and stuff to finish the script I thought I was like whatever, you know, she's my boss. So I'm like, haha. Yeah. But like, but that, I think, I think pranks and lies and stuff are kind of like a low hanging

fruit of jokes. But there is a new prankster show coming out with Nick Cannon and Kevin Hart on e. Yeah, yeah. With celebrity. I remember Ashton Kutcher did it and there were some fun ones. It is kind of fun to watch when it's like that scare tactic. When you're actually just doing it for the fuck of it. Now every prank should just be filmed

for entertainment purposes. Yeah, I don't mind my life. I don't mind watching other people. So I don't want anyone to do it to me and I don't want to do it to my own friend. I do remember a story that I met Michael of, look up that I always say his name wrong, but he's the attorney.

He's going to prison for like 20 years. He, Michael Avonante, Avonante, he's like this kind of, he was good looking and he was always going after Trump and he represented Stormy Daniels and he also, but Avonade. Avonade. And he also, he also tried to backmail Nike for 25 million and, and he said, Michael Cohen. No. Oh, Avonade, Nike for 25 million. And he's like, a Cohen. No. I'll have an idea, the lawyer.

Yeah, and I had dinner with him one night with a group of people before he was in trouble. And he told me what he thought was a great prank, as he said, we were in Mexico. It's beautiful home on the beach. And this hot girl is like, swims, you know, swimming in the ocean and starts to talk to my friend. And he's single or I don't know, he's not with his wife. So she comes around and she's hanging out with everybody and the wives are like, who is this like hot Mexican girl and why is she here?

And she hangs out all night and they screw and everything. And then she leaves. And the next, so he goes, goes oh I have a great idea he hires like like what do you call the police in Mexico what do you call the the federales federales he hires federales and they come in the house and they're banging on his door and they're like this woman has been found dead. Oh my God. But she wasn't. That's a guy who basically slept with a girl

that I think was probably a prostitute and knew this is where rented houses of rich people's come and she just kind of came and hung out for the day and whatever fucked him and maybe got some money or whatever. But he made this guy think that the girl that he slept with who he saw on her way. He's like, she went in a cab, like she left, like she's not here, they're like,

well, her dead body's been found. Oh my God. And you are our number one suspect. Yeah. Oh, that's not funny, that's mean. Well, he can think about that prank when he's doing 20 years or whatever he's doing. Yeah, exactly.

Yeah. But I was like, wow, that's a really scary... That's a real, that's like about the scariest thing you could tell a drunk guy in Mexico. Yeah, yeah, yeah, especially when to involve the federalis, yeah, just all of it. I just paid some federalis to come and like, scare the shit out of him.

And then they're like, oh no. Like, she's a lot of lot like, oh, what? Also, um, Rut-Cal, there was, it broke Friday that she checked herself into a mental facility, which then everyone's like lay off her, don't eat bully her, whatever. But now the reports are, and I don't know if this is even true, but these are alleged things that she didn't, it wasn't a mental facility, it wasn't know if this is even true, but these are alleged things that she didn't it wasn't a mental facility It wasn't rehab. It is a place called Miraval in Arizona, which is a very expensive like wellness retreat with like spa as you can definitely drink there and

The real house I've also went there and did a whole thing and Shannon Bedore put like a gold Thing on her head for like whatever get the piece and then Kelly Dodd took a big Gong and Gong don't honor had and then Shannon was a little dramatic and she had to go to like the Phoenix hospital that I went to when I fell on my head for like like for like an MRI and so Anyway, that's where she allegedly is and then meanwhile you predicted that didn't you? That she would go to so I said I think it's's a good call but I think you have to go to some place a little more hardcore than like a golden door or mirror of all like it's gotta be at least promises in

Malibu. It's gotta be at least some level of like we have real medical doctors not just like life coaches like the life coach can't be like Corey's fellow brother. Right. Getting colonics. Oh, you know, who's the poison out of your system? Whatever. You know, as a life coach now, I just saw it a charity vet. Remember the mom and pretty wild. Yes. She's a life coach. What? Anyway, she's very nice. She was, she there was a, a, it wasn't the whole point of that show. Like her kids were kind of a mess or something. Yeah, but they're better now and she's a life coach. And we're one of them in a bling ring.

She was in the bling ring. Yeah. Alexis Nyers and it's the famous video of her from Pretty Wild. Sink calling the writer of Vanity Fair being like, trying to leave a voice mail message. It's like Nancy Cho. You really upset me. You said a lot of

life in this article. You said I wanted to court wearing four-inch Lupitaan heels. They were two-inch BB brown kitten heels. Why are you making me look too out to be somebody I'm not? Like, and then every time that Andrea the mall would be like, they were, they were BCB cheap. Mom, they were baby. The cheetah for start, the cheetah for start the boys fail over again. It is a class of moment. But anyway, Alexis Dyers is a mom and she's sober and she's doing well. And so now her mom is a life coach. I'm gonna say, if you're going to go this route of layoff of me, I need to recover.

It's got to be a little bit more serious than where the housewives go to burn some sage. Right, it's gotta be like real doctors of some level. Yeah, and I read something that said that she, they're trying, who knows what it's true, but they were trying to say that she had already been planning to do this before the news of the affair broke. Mm-hmm.

Okay. I don't know why she's planning it and just now went from me. I'm just saying. If they could find out, like someone's like, yeah, she had a reservation here. We had a, you know, like, oh, yeah, she booked it, you know, four months ago, because we had, we're running a deal

where the fourth United is free. Right. Which could totally have happened. Yeah. Like it pops up and you're like, now I should do that in the spring. Yeah. So now if that's the case,

then she's not even going to deal with this situation. She was just already going. There was rumors that he was there, then he wasn't, then he was just seen with this girl, Billy Lee, who used to be on the show as friends. But I thought this was a really great, little thing I came across. This is from Dad Talk Today, a funny Instagram. For $250

an hour, I will pose as your couple's therapist and convince your loved one they are wrong about everything. And I think this is like so brilliant because so many people like going to go to therapy or whatever and they're like, I can't wait to go to therapy because when I tell the therapist, everything this fucker did, they're gonna absolutely be on my side. Yeah. And I remember one time I was talking about going to therapy at one point, couples therapy in my friend goes, just get ready because it's kind of shocking when they don't totally agree with you. And I'm like, what? Like I just do. I agree with, yeah, I remember I went once with an boyfriend, my ex-boyfriend, you know the one. Yeah.

And the worst. And he was, I remember mad because he felt that she, he was like, I just, I feel like, you know, she just takes her side. And I'm like, well, because you're wrong. My dad was always wanting to go to therapy with my mom. And he always had to keep switching therapists because they, they to therapy with my mom, and he always had to keep switching therapists because they would decide with my mom. And my dad was like kind of, you know,

egotistical and probably has some definite traits of narcissists and the rest in peace I can talk about now, but like I think so when I'm back, now that I understand what that is. And my mom was just like, all right, we'll go to the next one, you know, whatever. Except later you'll figure out that it's because you're wrong, buddy.

Yeah, but then they stuck with one who wanted to be a standup and they bring him to my shows at Luna Park, remember Luna Park? Yeah. Yeah. Oh my God. That's I wouldn't want to. And they buy and dinner and everything. Yeah. Um, they liked him. Well, that's nice. And then they, but then they would just go and talk about my standup.

They were just both brag about me and that bonded them. Oh, well, that they was probably the best for them. Is that therapist? Is that therapist? They're gold and child. A comedian now, do you know? Probably not, right? I don't know.

Wait, real quick. Did I ever tell you about the time that my therapist fell asleep when I was talking? In person? Yeah, in person. I was sitting on the couch, she was sitting in her chair, and I was talking, and like I looked away or something and I looked over and she was asleep head down

Sleeping and what did you say I I said? Are you sleep? I did that way Karah. Yeah, and she said sorry. Sorry. I just feel like you talk about this a lot I was like what the fuck like I feel like you talk about this a lot. I was like, what the fuck? Like, I pay you to talk about this. Like, what am I supposed to, we're not, maybe if I, I didn't have to talk about it all the time, if you were fucking listening and awake. But yeah, you know what the thing is with therapy, because I have only one to a therapist once, like, like, I don't know a year ago, and then it started during COVID,

so then it was just like on the phone, whatever. And it was sort of helpful, but I kinda was like, every time I'd like come up, I'm like, oh, 3.30 on Wednesday, whatever. I gotta like go in my car and like talk to her on the phone somewhere, you know? And she was older and at a certain point, I was like, I mean, a brag,

but like could you do a little research on me? Like, I don't know. Because it makes it hard. I should now have to tell you all 50 years of my life. You could leave the listen to juicy scoop. You could read a book. Yeah. And then you could just analyze me.

Why do I have to spend, you know, and then she, like, I'm actually no idea what I really did for a living, or even though I'd be like I'm a comedian, you wouldn't like, I don't know. And then I wanted to get rid of her, but then I was like, I think she probably really looks forward to it. I mean, she always said it's so happy when this call started. Hey, Heather!

And so I was like, oh, if I had Dumpers, she's gonna, like, what is she gonna have a look forward to? Because I still would like, in my therapy, like crack jokes and stuff. Yeah. She'll like make the story entertaining. Maybe she pretended not to know I still would like in my therapy, like crack jokes and stuff, to like make the story entertaining. Maybe she pretended not to know because she didn't want you to think that she had like a pre-disposed. She didn't bother. She didn't bother.

No, she didn't bother. But that's why I just used the podcast as therapy. And if I have something bad, I just put on Patreon, and then I just read the love. Yeah, there you go. I'm not afraid to admit it. No, I like that. That's what I'm saying.

Or I have someone go, you know what this happened to me, or you know what you should do. And I like that. So I have like, you know, hundreds, thousands of therapists. I don't mean the one that doesn't even listen to juicy scoops to give me fucking advice. I agree with that. Fuck her. But anyway, I think this is like really honestly genius.

It is genius. And I think more people in real life should kind of do this. And I wanted my one friend, she, well, she's a famous person, so I don't want to say, but she said, I went to the same therapist that his ex-wife, he brought us both to the same therapist, like the couples therapist that he used for his ex-wife, he brought us both to the therapist, like the couple's therapist that he used for his ex-wife and then the two of them talked. And I asked her, I thought, do you think there's a chance that woman's not even a therapist? Because he's a movie producer.

What if he just hired an actor? And? I don't know if she's researched it, but I swear to God I would be surprised. I would like the person up. I would want to see their credentials. But even someone with credentials would be like, what do you want me to say to keep you paying me $500 a session under the table? Right.

I don't have to go through insurance. Anyway, um, so Ariana is killing it. She went, oh, Ariana is killing it. She got dancing with the stars. Oh, she went to Cacciella. She was seeing Kissing a girl, it. She got dancing with the stars. She went to Coachella. She was seeing Kissing a girl, but it's a girl, Damian. I think that they were just doing a kiss for fun, though she is kind of bisexual. But she was definitely posting and hanging out with this personal trainer all weekend

that's in their friend group. So good for her. I think Coachella. Yeah, I think she got some dick this weekend. So good for her. She looks, I mean, look at her i mean look at her is that from this weekend i don't know this from but she looks gorgeous in all the photos i mean she's gorgeous anyway she's always and she has like a curvy little sexy body and

she's like modeling for blooming days and she's doing all the steps of one-time one thing tom said is we're still living in the house together we have not listed it because i'm doing all these shows with his cover band and she's doing really well and all these shows with his cover band and she's Doing really well and all these opportunities are coming to us We haven't listed the house yet, and I said you got to list the house, okay? This is the

April is the hottest month to sell your house Historically, oh, yeah, the flowers are out. It's not too hot You don't want to wait until June or July to list your house in the Frickin Valley. So I put it out there and I think a wise choice is, um, tell I'll think, you think, Bravo, thank you again. Won't be inviting me to Bravo Con, but here you go. Millenile listing is starting to shoot in about two weeks. We get Josh and Josh and Tracy all to compete to who's going

to get this listing. Yeah, that's a good idea. And then that's a fun thing. How much is their house? It'd be like, it's in Valley Village. And it's a newer house. I mean, you have a similar style and a pool, beautiful. I mean, I'm three. Yeah. So, I mean, yeah, it's, I mean, and people will want it. And she decker, they, they interior, and she's beautiful. Like, does she want to stay there and he can get out? I don't think they can. I think there's too much like history.

Yeah. And I, but I also, yeah, I think that she both get a fresh start. And I think that, yeah, that's true. Then they can also, yeah, I think so that anyway you're welcome. Did she have a nice Coachella outfit? Yeah, look at her. Look at that bod. She's got like the tiny waist and the good butt. It's good. Um, then Frank Ocean, I guess, people were disappointed at Coachella. I came out at the end at the end closed it and then he was like mumbling and it was poorly lit and then he didn't sing his hottest song and then he was like mumbling and it was poorly lit and then he didn't see us how to song and then he was like oh they told me it's curfew by and that's how it ended. So people were disappointed about

that. I coach how I mean I would never have you ever been. So last year I went for the first time because I had free tickets and so someone just gave me like their wristband or whatever for like the end of the year. Did you go VIP VIP? Yeah, I can ever go. With a fun group of people for one of the nights, and I was glad to see it. But I like the, but we went to this really fun party in the day. Okay, now let me put it out there. I'm going out there this weekend.

So am I. My house is ready this weekend. Oh, really? They're putting in the furniture right now. Oh, so you have to come over. Okay, yeah, we're going down to see my dad on Friday. Okay. Oh my god. Okay. We're hanging out. And then we wanted to get a room on Saturday by ourselves and we couldn't figure out why all the hotel rooms were so much money. And then I realized

because it's home springs and it's Coachella. Okay. I can't host you to spend the night, but I can host you. How my dad and I don't need you. Oh, you have the dad. Okay. No, but I just was saying in the future, but like I drink is probably going to come down from ASU and you don't want Prince Harry and me staying the night with you. Eventually, I do. Eventually, I do when I have all the bed. I don't have, it's only four beds. Oh, right.

And one of the beds is like a office in a studio for a short report. So anyway, I want to put it out there. If you would like to invite me to any or Sarah, any what I like is the party, like the day. The infl- I went to a really fun influencer type of party and it was great food and there was music and it was beautiful and now it's in the day. I like that villa or something. Yeah, it was like, I want some field thing

and it was really nice. And it was like all the vendors, I have their stuff. Bathrooms, everything was really nice. Okay. And then I also went to like some other party one night. So I like the parties. I don't necessarily need to go to the shows.

I just like, I've realized. Are we gonna stage coach the following weekend? Is it the following? I would like to stage coach. And I'm putting it out there. I'd like to do a stage coach. I would like to do that. But I need to go.

I'm very, very, very VIP because I can't. Yes. It's not because I'm a snob, but maybe it is. But I need to go. I'm very, I have to go very VIP because I can't. Yes. It's not because I'm a snob, but maybe it is, but I can't do, I went when I was like in my 20s for during the day to one Coachella. I don't even remember who I saw or what it was. I went with like an ex boyfriend. And I just remember a guy threw up on like,

threw up and like it landed on my feet. The bathrooms, the, you know, Gorda Patties, whatever, it was so disgusting. It's dark, I just can't. So I have to go. Well, first of all, our stage coach is totally different by because it is like older, it's not teenagers, right?

And so anyway, I'm putting it out there. Anybody you can just go to the Real Heather McDonald at gmail.com. Let us know if you want to hook up, Sarah and I. I got cute cowboy boots. I can put it now for together in a hot fucking second. Yeah. And I'm not going to look like Ariana, but I'll get cute-ish.

We'll get cute. We'll be down. Or if you have any kind of like fun other parties happening, I'm going to be there this weekend and next, okay, in Likinta. Okay, well this is exciting. I get to ride your coat into a party. Also this weekend I watched the Tildethiwis part on Hulu, and I fell asleep several times.

This is Courtney and Kravis' wedding. What did I say? Oh, they're gonna change his name to Kravis, because it's Kravis. It was a smart thing to put out there in film. Oh, they're gonna change his name to Kravis, because it's over the K. And it just was, it was a smart thing to put out there in film. I just was pretty boring.

I feel like we'd seen it all. I loved her veil. I loved the setting. I loved where they got married. I still hate the dress. Yeah, I don't like that dress, but I mean. It's still so weird for like, it's just, it's awful. It's awful. Like, I mean, it's still so weird for like, it's just, I, it's awful. It's awful. Like, I mean, it could have been so stunning. I don't know why she felt the need to do like a short

dress that was like with a, with a, you know, this all, it's just was awful. I feel like she, um, I don't really follow her enough, but I, I just feel like everything I've seen, it seems like she always sort of takes on the personality of the person. Totally. So she all the sudden is like rocker girl. Yeah. I think she thought this was like a Gwen Stefani type. Yeah. You know something like that and it's like you're not though. And it also feels like he showed her so so pda every time they kissed on this whether it was right after they were Mr. Mrs. whatever she kisses him and bites at the bottom of his lip real hard. Oh. That's the way they cast and they're like, and he's all over her.

So I think he was like, I love your legs. I love your legs. I love your legs. And she was like, I want to show my legs on my wall. Oh, okay. That's what I think. Well, good for them. Sister wives.

She Christine Brown, who left. She was wife number three. She left. She fell in love, who left. She was wife number three. She left. She fell in love and is engaged. And then her daughter is also engaged to a woman. Oh, wait. Sister wives. But she fell in love with a man.

A man, who is a widow. And they're engaged. Oh. And they're getting married really fast and people wondered if I have they not screwed. Like, like, is how Christian is she? And maybe that's why they're getting married so fast. I disagree. I think they're screwing really. I hope they are. And then the daughter is getting married

to a girl and she's 21. I mean especially since like when you're older. What's the I mean you got to just have sex where you get married. What's the point of waiting? And she didn't have sex with Cody for 10 years. She said they weren't intimate for 10 years. Also, I heard Robin that wife number four is like a compulsive shopper in order and that's why they never filmed in her house. Oh, really? Yeah. Like there's bags and clothes and she can't stop spending, which is another reason all the other wise got screwed over because they pooled her money. You know how waitresses pooled her tips. Yeah. Now imagine you were like the

highest earner and the one that had like one table who forgot to bring out the lamb chops just to get as much as you do. No, that's not right. No, it's not. I don't like that. Also, I don't, maybe she's trying to get on hoarders. Maybe she's like, I don't want to be on the show anymore. You're right. She should. I can get on hoarders. I read the book, Paris's book. Okay, help me. It was interesting. I'd love to have her on the show. I have so many questions.

She came off great. She gave a lot of, she gave good advice about things. The main thing is really exposing how off of these schools were. You remember, remember who we'd always hear about it? Like there'd be like 48 hours in 2020s

and like Dr. Phil like if your kid is the worst It's like a scared straight kind of the thing But the only way they can get you to these like schools that are gonna change you is to kidnap you in the middle of night Because otherwise you the kid will run off when they see what it is you can't get like versus like in it I mean even with an intervention they sit you down and they give you the choice. Even though, like, we've got a car waiting for you. This is everybody talking. But, of course, they're like your team.

So, they would scare these rich parents, the Hilton's being them, to say, you know, and at that time, she was. She was escaping. She was having fun. She was, like, 14, 15, and she was at all the time. She was going to clubs. And they were like, we really thought and she was out all the time. She's going to clubs and they were like,

we really thought that she was going to be murdered because she's out running the streets or become a drug addict unless we centered to these places. And so they just believed him and it was absolutely awful. And she's one great thing is that she's done all this legislation and everything to expose it. By her telling her story, she exposed it, but now they're closing these schools.

And I think that's part of the reason. What kind of, what are the schools? So it's like they, it's out in the middle of nowhere. There's several. It started by this guy who literally was a cult leader that did something in Palm Springs. And like, you know, and then it was, and they get these people and she went to,

she went to like three different ones because she kept escaping. There's no education at all. They're not learning math, geometry, nothing. They go there as teenagers and they break them down, they scream at them, they tell them they're a piece of shit, they have to do cavity searches, they can't have their own clothes.

They treat them like the worst prison, such, like worse than an American prison. God, I didn't even know that she had to... They can't call the parents or anything. And then I remember then what she got out and because she could finally leave at 18. She couldn't leave until she... She tried to escape three times and she would like call...

One time she escaped and got to a phone and called Kyle, her aunt. And I guess then Kyle called Kathy and then the people came and got her. phone and called Kyle, her aunt, and I guess then Kyle called Kathy, and then the people came and got her. Oh my God. And it was just like, and the parents just didn't, because they were like, they're gonna help, they're gonna lie to you, they're gonna say we're treating them horribly,

they're gonna do anything to get out, so they can start running the streets again and having sex and doing drugs. The only thing that's gonna keep your kid alive is if you keep him in this place. Scaring parents, making them believe that. So that's what kept these places in running. And so, and then when she got out, she just was like, I don't want to talk about it.

I want to bring it up. I don't want to embarrass my parents like I just want to. But I want the one thing. Did the public know she was in at the time? Did we know? No. Okay. So they thought she was at a boarding school in London

when she got asked, when she started to become famous again, like famous again, and they'd ask her stuff. I remember watching it. I'm like, how is this girl with this pedigree? Why is it in Sheen College? I remember thinking like, why are these parents valuing education that's so weird? And they did, but it was like,

Kathy married into this family young, Kathy Hilton, her mom married into the Hilton's young. And I think she was very much, I want to keep the reputation of the Hilton's that I married into and our current family and like, I'll do anything to keep you. And I really do believe that she thought I'll do anything. I mean, I remember my brother was really very, very troublesome and we caught him selling drugs out of the house and all this stuff. And there was a home in our neighborhood that I think still exists, but it's called, it's called this like Pacific Lodge boys homes,

whatever. And I mean, this is going to be often when I was telling you guys this truth. In the 70s, my mom would be like, that's the bad boys home. We're going to send you we're going to send you there to my brothers, you know. And my mom said at one point she did call. And it's by the way, it's a fantastic facility. It's been around for 40 years. There's never been an issue. It's a great place. Okay. And, but it really is for like foster kids that are struggling or like on the verge of getting in trouble or, you know, but so when she called, how can I send my son there? They were like, no, he has to have committed a crime.

But so I think people were just desperate. Right. Until like, be like, how do I save my kid, you know? And so anyway, that was all really juicy and then she or her and her mom like they have a good relationship. They're good they're good now but it's still really weird and it's still like the mom feels so guilty she doesn't want to talk about it and she's just like I want you to you know and then you know and then there's lots of dark stuff she was never like physically assaulted per se,

like sexually in the school, but like they would be like, you need another gyno exam, kind of like what that gymnastic teacher did. So they'd have these gyno exams, like all the time, like in the middle of the night and stuff. And several of her friends would have to go. And it was like all these people just, you know, like,

it was so so bad. But it's really good that she speaking out about it. Yeah, and she kept putting it off and then finally decided to share it. And, but like the questions I have for her is like she speaks, you know, she's like, these are my friends. She has a couple of fun stories about Kim. My question for her is, now you guys are in your 40s and your moms and you guys are friends again, you

and Kim. But there was a time when they didn't talk when she was making all this money with her perfumes and everything in Europe and in Asia. But Kim was way more relevant than she was. I didn't know she was doing all this stuff and I ran into Kathy Hilton. I'm like, what's Paris up? She's like, oh, she's on her 15th fragrance or whatever. And making millions and millions in Japan and she's got clothing on. I'm like, oh, I didn't know that. All I knew is that Kim basically stole her persona

and got her own reality show. And at that time, the Hilton weren't talking to Chris. And they were like kind of pissed about it. And I never knew what happened. So I would say, obviously you must have been a little pissed or jealous that she like stole your vibe. Yeah. But now that you're in your 40s, you realize like, of course we should be friends. Nobody's been to what we've been through.

Like we're the only two people in the world that can relate to each other the way we can relate to each other. Right. There's no assistant and no hairdresser that can really relate to what you and I can relate. So like I'm glad they're like friends again. Yeah. But there wasn't that kind of juice, you know, like they she just shared. She should come on the podcast.

I know she needs to come on the podcast because I really have a lot of questions. Plus I didn't know she had a book out so she needs to come on the podcast. Oh yeah, I know. And so the book is good. The book is really good. Who's the one that did the book report? Jacob Hablick did a in-depth book report for me. So after I read it, I could go and remind myself of it.

So I may still talk about more of it. But one thing I want to share with you that I thought was really good, is she talked about how right before she went to prison, she got a DUI. Do you remember this? She got a DUI, but she was pretty low on. She got a DUI. And but she was pretty low on blowing it. And then her attorney gave her the wrong information saying that she

could drive providing it was work or something. But I guess she couldn't. So then she was pulled over. She was speeding or she pulled over. And then that is what they'll cause her to now have to go do time. So she was set to do like 90 days and I think she got 23. And a couple days before she turned herself in, she went to the MTV something awards. And Sarah Silverman was the host. And Sarah starts doing these jokes about Paris Hilton going to prison and for sex tape and all this stuff. And she's in the audience. So uncomfortable. and she's in the audience. Oh, so uncomfortable. And so, so then, um,

so anyway, she has a podcast too, so she's talking about it and her sister, Nikki and their best friends and always having. Nikki's like, that was so fucking awful, that was so mean, you know, because then you kind of want to know how all of us would, you know, not all of us, but like the late night chosen stuff,

we're so making jokes about them. And remember, there was a totally dead on tell. Remember, look at this New York Post article I pulled up three bimbos of the apocalypse. No clue. No cares. No underwear. Meet the party posse of the year. This is from New York Post, November 29th, 2006.

And that's when Lindsey, Brittany and Paris were all hanging out every night. And this article is like, she's been out every night. She has two kids at home about Brittany. Right. And we were Brittany forgot to wear underwear. Yeah. And, um, and she was getting out of the car like this. Yeah.

And, and, um, so I always, I remember I joked about it on Chelsea lately. Yeah, I was definitely joking about that. And I was like, I think that, you know, Paris was like, it looks so much better with that underwear. Like I would joke to that, like she must have given her the idea not to bring it where the underwear. Right. But so just that there was like,

why is there such hate for like these three girls? But it was just pop culture stuff. Yeah. And so then Sarah then responded on her podcast to it. And she wrote what she said and it was really good. Sarah Silverman said, you know, I feel terrible about it, but at that time, we made fun of what was in pop culture and we didn't think about the person behind it or something like that.

100% true. And there's times I look back and I'm like, there were times that we ripped on like Lindsey or Brittany or E.I.E. and I know that, and then you realize later, like, we have much bigger problems going on, but it was just the shit in the E news. Like, we weren't thinking that far about it, but now we would, you know. Right. But one thing Sarah said, which I thought was so profound, is she said, comedy is not evergreen. And I was like that says it all.

Whenever somebody wants to bring up something that someone said or did 10 even five years ago, certainly later than that. And it's like look what this person said in 2014. If you're not saying in 2023, let it fucking go because it's not evergreen. It's like something that was funny. Watch a movie from 10 years ago while you're getting your hair blown out, I call them the Dry Bar movies. And they'll use the F.A.G word in it. They'll, I mean, I just watched this movie, Baby Mama,

with Tina Fey and Amy Polar. I think, believe Tina Fey wrote it. Yeah. Where Tina Fey gets Amy Polar to be her surrogate. She's a single mother. And she's talking about how she's afraid. It's going to be her math her math for died and what she would call it. And like, that's like a funny joke.

Well, now you would never put that in a movie today what every, you know, with LGBTQ and trans kids. And yeah, there's, it's not ever great. I mean, even it's not ever great. It was funny in 2014. Even if you think, what was that? There was a jet app at the time of the day. I can't remember which one it was. I think it was a jet app at the time of the day

because the remember Leslie Mann was in it. I feel like she's always, but it was like, she was playing like a, she was like driving drunk. Oh, that 40 year old boy. Yeah, and it was like super funny. Yeah, and it was like, and she was like she was playing like it she was like driving drunk and that 40 year for yeah And it was like super funny Yeah, and it was like and she was like blowing into one of the things on her car or something She had so many do like yes wouldn't you know what I you wouldn't do that now

You wouldn't show it as a joke that someone's driving fucking drunk right right They just at all those anything like there's so much Yeah, and I'm sure mad probably wrote a letter But because we didn't have Instagram and TikTok and everything, probably nobody cared about that letter. It was a hit movie and nobody cared. It's comedy, shut up. Yeah.

You know, but it, I just, that's a cool response though from her. It's very true. Yeah. And so that was really good. Anyway, speaking of Paris, check out the book. Barbie trailer came out. Did you see it? I have not seen the trailer. I'm gonna say, not excited.

No. Well, I think the difference is, it's not like doing the, remember the Brady Bunch movie, how hilarious that was? Because they basically did a movie about the Brady Bunch, but they took all these aspects of all the episodes. And for people our age, you've seen every episode like 500 times because there wasn't that much to choose from.

So you'd do reruns all the time. So it just really clicked, but with this, it's just dolls. Like they're not, it's not Scooby Doo or Flintstones. Yeah. So I don't understand. There's no like story to draw from. No. It has to all be made up.

So the jokes are just like, you know, everyone's named Barbie and I guess, you know, smooth genitals and just like the jokes we probably saw in Toy Story, Toy Story and stuff like that. But a lot of people are really disturbed at how old a Gosling looks. That is too old to be Ken.

Oh. And she's a little old too, they think, for Barbie. Oh. Margot Robbie. Wow. That she's gorgeous. I mean, like, there aren't they Ageless Ken and Barbie? I mean, do we really know what Ageless they are?

They've been around a long time. That's what they're saying. Why did Ken age? Right. Anyway, they had... Oh, poor ghostling. People seemed excited about it, but then I felt like, but then if I kept looking in the comments,

then people were kind of saying things I'm saying. I don't feel like I'll see it. It doesn't, if I just heard, oh, there's a movie called Barbie, I didn't really know about it. And I don't think I would see it, even though I really love a Ryan Gosling, but I'd rather see him, you know, be smoldering and dark.

I don't want him to be Ken. Right. Well, they have different kinds of, they have different, all different, like types of Ken's on that thing. But I think we'll see. Well, you're not selling it any harder. I didn't think that trailer got that great. So Megan Markle was never likely to attend the coronation

but was put in an impossible position. So she's not going. Right. Prince Harry is going. She says, I'm gonna stay home for Archie's four year old birthday party. I'm sure Archie wouldn't have known if she booked the pack and play or balloon, whatever under the sea, indoor plays.

For a different day. For a different day. But I mean, I will say that I kinda of think this is the right thing to do. I mean, she's not going to be well received by the people of England. She's not well received about the people they talked about, but it's important that he goes. I think it's like the perfect combination. I don't know why you would want to go where you know everyone's just going to bash you.

I mean, why go? But then when I talked about a little bit on Patreon, then someone said, no, Heather, they were requiring all this extra security and they wanted all this extra stuff. I don't know if that's true either. But like, or, and then people like, she's a thirst trap just because she can't get,

you know, it won't be about her. And I'm like, I disagree. Like, that's the thing with her. I've talked about, you know, there's things I like about it, things I don't be about her and I'm like I disagree like that's a thing with her I have talked about you know There's things I like about it things I don't like about her I think she's exaggerated the truth and I don't think she's very truthful and a lot of stuff She's talked about but I also want to say like as someone who doesn't want to be in a room with people that don't think I'm fabulous I agree with her. Yeah, I mean I don't like why would you want to go with a bunch of people don't like you and the and and a country that's always like You're the brutal to her and it's hapl ways and stuff. I don't know

Where she goes. It's like you're a thirsty bitch that talk badly about us if you don't go Oh, you're a selfish bitch who's staying home in California. Yeah. All right. Like you cannot win. No, so just stay home. Yeah. Yeah I don't blame her. It's like when Melissa Gorgad, he didn't go to Teresa and Louise Wedding. She couldn't win. If she went, she was drawing attention. If you stayed home, she wasn't going to your sister's wedding. Yeah. Can't win.

Can't win. Also, Fergie supposedly is not invited with Prince Andrew, which I don't know if that's true, but Andrew has been a big problem. He was Epstein's best friend. Oh, yeah. Yeah. So I don't know why they wouldn't be invited. I think these people are invited, but I don't think they're like maybe on the balcony.

I would invite her just not him, right? Yeah, wouldn't you invite the Red Hat and Nises? Yeah, I would just like, I would, yeah, maybe Andrew can't come, but I would invite her. Yeah, what does she do? Well, let me tell you about this one. Oh, man kidnaps his girlfriend speaking of pranks at gunpoint in shocking marriage proposal and TikTok video. Oh my god, okay, let me just remind you. So this wasn't here. It was in Lebanon. So, I remind you. So this wasn't here. It was in Lebanon. So I mean, you just like Paris, who thought she was truly being kidnapped in the middle of the night, you know, a provost or whatever that you trust

school is. This girl really thought this is the end of her life. So it was a TikTok and it was posted by his sister, the group, who captioned it, how my brother decided to propose in Lebanon. The video shows the bride to be Vanessa cruising in the back seat of us the Dan with her family when they are stopped in the middle of the road by an apparent, by apparent criminals wearing, I don't know what this word means, like I guess, covers and scary look. Okay. She was screaming to let her go, the kidnapper, and was driven to the

beach where she's kidnapped, where she's basically thinking she's gonna be raped, killed, beheaded. We don't know. She gets to the beach, and then they're like, wait, was the family in on this? Her family? His whole family, and her family. Because they were in the car, so they, okay so okay go ahead and they get to the beach. She's screaming please let me live and everything and then they take off her her you know blindfold and then it's him and they so he said he was always going to scare her into marrying him. She say yes. I mean, probably at the moment, I would say yes because I would just be like, get me the

fuck out of here. I don't think she's American, but I would just, I would probably say yes and then I would do whatever it took to leave Lebanon because I wouldn't trust any of these people ever fucking again. I wouldn't trust you. Yeah, just the real, I mean, that's what I would say. I don't. I don't. I don't think.. Yeah, just the real I mean that's I would yes just to look at I think I would just say

There are prankster couple like for on YouTube So that this so you know she sometimes she puts a I don't know chocolate on the floor pretends It's poo poo and then sometimes he kidnaps her and makes her think she's gonna Fuckin die. I mean, I don't like and in any of this is okay. I am absolutely not I wouldn't talk to my I wouldn't talk to I would say no I wouldn't talk to him. I wouldn't talk to my family. I wouldn't talk to his family Here's the thing with any kind of surprise or whatever Couple things if you're gonna throw someone a surprise party and you want them to look cute and you're taking them out, don't tell them it's going to be something so great and then it's a surprise party at your friend's apartment. Don't say I'm taking you on a private jet and we are going to see Adele because she's

my friend and then you're like, what wait, we're just going to, we just have to, we just come with me, I just want to hand, you gonna, we just have to, we just come with me. I just wanna hand, you know, I just wanna hand Joe this painting I did, and he's gonna be excited. And then you go up to the apartment, you know, in whatever receiving. And you're not going to see it. And then you're going to see it.

And then they're like, surprise. That happened to this guy once where he thought he was going to play World Mansion and then he stopped at the bar and we're like, surprise. And he's like, okay, but we need to get to play World Mansion. They're like, no, there's no play where I match and you idiot. We got you here to tell you it's a surprise party.

I'm like, no, like it has to be just like a simple dinner. A simple dinner. A simple dinner so you're cute. And then, oh my God, all my friends are here. Same thing with any kind of surprise proposal. Like, whatever that is, I think the best surprise proposal work, especially for TikTok value is You're with your your girlfriend is with her girlfriends

So they're in on it. They know that she's pretty Getting pretty for the night looks cute her nails are done that type of thing and then they're like okay for You know tonight or whatever maybe they're on vacation tonight, we're gonna go out to dinner. Like I saw this and then she's walking and then the girl, the friend is like, oh my god, look at how pretty that sunset is and she turns and then he's there. And she didn't even know he was gonna be in town.

That's nice. You have the friend film it, she's surprised. That is what a proposal should be. Yeah, that's nice. Not, I thought I was gonna get murdered and die. I, this is unacceptable. I mean, and now what? Now, what's next?

I mean, I was gonna want to one up each other. I guess when she gives birth, you'll have to hire that little person to run out of her crush like a... That's the only way she can talk. But hopefully she's in juicy scurper. She's gonna mark that down. But when I get birth. Yeah. I would be like, here's the baby and it's like a or a dummy baby that is like horns coming

out of its head and she's to like to the nurse. Take the other baby. I'm going to or that's what she does with her in laws that were in on this who aren't there for the birth thing. She's like, now let's let's like you know those babies that they make that are so lifelike. Yeah. You can commission them for like $5,000 for some weird woman that just wants to act like she is an infant all the time.

You make one that's like really fucking scary, like a third eye and horns. And then they're like, meet your grandchild. And then they're like, ha ha ha. Yeah. I guess. Because I mean, aside from actually murdering each other, I don't know how you top that prank. So the last story I want to talk to you is pretty juicy. This guy, his name is HF, you know, I can't say his name.

Anyways, a German football player. And when he was 19, he married this woman. He met this woman who's 31 and they got married. Now he's 24 and she's 36. They share two sons. They have been married a while. She's an TV actress. She has 1.3 million Instagram followers, everything.

But he was unfortunately accused of rape earlier this year and she did not come to his defense. And instead she went to go divorce him and she wants half of his fortune. But now that she's divorcing him, he found out he's put all of his money in his mother's name, all of his assets in his mother's name and always had

and she didn't know that. Oh, he always has. So that it's not. Yeah, because if he just, like if he changed it, then they'd be able to. So, I mean, we're talking like half a, you know, half a billion dollars type of money.

And he's, he's only 24. And I, I put, like, under it, I like, there was some article and I just put a comment and I was like, every boy mom whose son can, like, kick a ball is like taking notes right now. And it's like, um, yeah, this bitch ain't gonna take my baby. It's money. That's crazy.

I better check the records. I was gonna say, I know you're close to your mother-in-law but you might. No, that's like some serious, like, boy, mom shit. And there's no, I mean, can you, can she sue? Can she do, I don't, I mean, this you can she sue can she do I don't I mean this is it's ongoing We'll see what happens. That's crazy. We'll see what happens with them. But I mean yeah, she was probably just like I was talking to this this guy was a former basketball player and

And he said right when he got on the team. I don't know if it's for college or professional, he said they would have a briefing and they would literally in a room have photos of a girl and it's like this woman, her real name is Theraclona. Okay, she goes by Sally. She has eight kids by eight different men. She will meet you at this Starbucks. She like they would warn the guys on the team.

This girl's gonna show up here. Her tactic is this, she does this. She goes by these aliases. She, this is what she eats. This is what she drinks. Stay away, stay away. Because she has your baby doesn't matter if she's got eight babies from eight different NFL

or players. If you only have one baby, if your first baby is with her, she's going to get 25% of your gross income Child support. So if you're making ten thousand ten million dollars a year and you're 22 and you have a baby with this girl And it's her ninth baby doesn't matter. You're gonna have to give her 2.5 for 18 years That is insane. I know that there are there. John had told me some stories about meetings that they would have to prep them for Life stuff, but I never heard that one before but I'm gonna have to ask him If there was any photos of Of you. Yeah

Stay away from this girl for the record don't pursue you Sarah You have some fun shows coming up I do tell I'm gonna be in Oklahoma City. Yeah, May 4th through the 6th Cinco de Maya weekend fun weekend to go out. Yes, May 4th through the 6th. Cinco de Mayo weekend, fun weekend to go out. Yes, sure the club has margaritas. Yes, at Bricktown Comedy Club, May 4th through 6th, that's at BricktownComedy.com, saracolona.com. Please listen to my podcast. We cover Married at First Sight right now.

It's called Are You My Podcasts. When Married atta first site is off, we do other fun silly stuff. I had someone ask about the clutch discount for the juicy scoopers. Yes, that's right. I saw a few juicy scoopers were posting about it lately. I think that's because the Taylor Swift, a lot of people go in the Taylor Swift concerts and she has, she's performs in stadiums. So it's clutchwomen.com. I have stadium approved bags that you don't have to carry an ugly clear bag They're very cute. They're made in the USA from wonderful material that'll last you forever and juicy scoopers Always get 20% off with the code juicy scoop all one word. Oh, thank you

They're a great way of promoting yourself and you get to the bag go to the show of Oklahoma City Listen to Sarah's podcast follow an Instagram if you aren't already, it's Sarah Kelone a one. Yeah. The other Sarah Kelone, not as fun. Not as fun, stole my name and my account and my handle. Thanks, girl. Thank you.