Juicy Scoop with Heather McDonald - Rihanna and The Death of Rom Coms with Chris Franjola.

Episode Date: February 14, 2023

Chris and I discuss my how-to get pregnant method. Chris had a bad stand-up comedy situation that required my counseling. Rihanna is pregnant, but not everyone loves her performance. Did Megan Fox break up or cry for attention? We review Reese Witherspoon and Ashton Kutcher’s new movie. What do you write to your Valentine? Britney responds to her supposed planned intervention. I predict what will happen to Carrie and Aidan in And Just Like That. Leonardo’s girlfriend deleted her Instagram. Get extra juice on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/juicyscoop https://heathermcdonald.net/ Merch available at https://www.juicyscoopwithheathermcdonald.com  Buy tickets to Chris's shows at franjola.fun Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Head of McDonald Has got the Choo-Six Scoop When you're on the road, when you're on the go Choo-Six Scoop is the show to know She talks Hollywood tales Her real life, Mr. Sanctuaryal Data And serial sister, you'll be addicted And a-dixit fast to the number one tabloid real life hot cat

Listen in, listen up. Woo, woo, and a McDonald. Juicy scoop. Hello and welcome to Juicy scoop. We have your favorite, your favorite. Chris, friend, Jola, we have so much to discuss. I know, and I'm trying to have a real conversation with you. Yes.

Like, we're actual friends, and you keep telling me to stop talking, save it for the podcast. Save it for the pod. We have so many juicy things to talk about. I did some hate watching. We're just talking about Super Bowl about our own juicy life. So you started to tell me about your weekend. And I said, save it for the pod, which by the way,

save it for the pod. T-shirts are now available, aren't they, Annie? Yeah. They're available. Is it really a save for the pod? Oh, that's perfect. Heather McDonald, net, save it for the pod with the little juicy scoop. uh... t-shirts are now available aren't they any they are available on the net safer for the public use the school whether you have a podcaster or not which everybody does great you can also

wear it for yourself that's not so specific to do you see that's great yeah right now i'm wearing a shirt though that says i got pregnant the juicy scoop method and this girl actually could grad sent it to me. I just found out I'm pregnant. Thanks to the juicy scoop method. Heather knows what she's talking about.

Ashley Courtney. Ashley Courtney. Claire Blue. Okay. That's what you do. I like a clear blue because it's pregnant. Okay. Says pregnant.

I want to just tell people obviously Rihanna used my method too. Yes. Yes. But before we get into all that, let me tell you what the method too. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes.

Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes.

Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes.

Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. I'm not gonna get sued if it's a rock. Like if you haven't got pulled over by the police, you have to say his real name, as soon as possible, Rocky. Okay, well let me tell you what the method is, because I've said it a million times. And it worked for me for my second baby. A lot of people do all the ovulation tests and everything. And I think sometimes it just is a little too in someone's head. So if you're having trouble getting pregnant,

the thing to do, just try this for like a couple months or two, people getting mad at me, it doesn't work. Listen, my method doesn't hurt anybody, okay? Doesn't hurt anybody, it doesn't cost any money. Right. When your period has concluded, okay? You start boning the man that you want to have baby with as soon as possible, Rocky, or whoever you find.

Yeah, it's right. And every other day for at least 10, but if you want to knock it out of the park, 14 days. Okay. Not every day, every other day, time of day doesn't matter. Every other day. And that is as soon the day your period is done. Okay.

Okay, period's done. Take out your tampon, take shower, whatever. Yeah, put your towel down. No, you won't need a towel down. It's, oh God, you're such a dude. Anyway, every other day, okay. Because it's gonna take the stuff out of your brain about it.

Yeah. It's a nice schedule. It's not overwhelming for the husband or boyfriend. It builds up some good sperm. Does it? All right, that's good. You're not supposed to do it every day, okay? You know, and all the other things that you want to do, have your husband, not so hot or take too hot of a jacuzzi, probably wise choice but i'm not getting into that my method is this

and i have hundreds and i'm not exaggerating hundreds of juicy scoopers who have come up to me and written me and said that once they did this they actually got pregnant alright

so there you go that works that's a good that's a good tip uh... i want to get into our weekends. I'll say it go first. We even had our first modeling shoot. Raven. My dog. Oh, I was asked to do a celebrity dog photo shoot

for a coffee tablebook that's in the works. OK. And anyway, she was very, she was very good. And that's really, yeah. So it's you and the dog together. It's me and the dog. Okay. And anyway, she was very, she was very good. Really? Yeah. So she was you and the dog together. She's going to be in the dog. Yes. And she looked great. And she was good. So that was our exciting day. Can I ask you what I'm supposed to do with a coffee table book? Am I supposed to? Actually, look at it. Yeah. Because nobody really does, right? First of all, I have several in my house at listen everybody has that black and white tom Ford tom Ford one my god every stature is a Beatles why everybody has yeah I actually don't when I do look at

it is what I'm at an Airbnb oh I always start looking at those would have an Airbnb okay it's kind of fun it's like a pop springs or whatever. I want to get into your weekend because you had a stand up career- I was doing it a week away. It's a Wednesday night. Okay, tell me what happened. Take me breath. Yeah, I'll tell you that.

This is a therapy moment for a comedian. It really is a therapy moment. Because it ends in a real therapy moment. Anyway, as you know, as a comedian and myself, and most comedians will know, that you do sometimes get hired to do things called corporate gigs. Yes. Big corporations will hire you to come and do comedy

at their convention or whatever. Right. Never a good idea. Never. I don't think it's ever been a good idea in the history of comedy ever. But this person wrote me and emailed me and told me, would you make sure you're doing this

and they gave me the price. And I was like, that's a great price for a Wednesday to fly to Houston and do it. Great. And I did it. I was a little jealous, I'll be honest. But then I thought, oh, now you don't have to be. But then I saw that the audience was like,

all male in the construction business. So I'm like, 2,000 construction business. So I'm like, 2,000 of them. And I'm like, Chris is a good choice for that. Heather, we don't want to be. Okay, go ahead. Well, and then it was a ban coming on afterwards. Now, let me just say this to all corporations out there.

Yes. Hire the band, just the band, just the band. I don't want to take money out of any of my comedian, brother's pocket. Well, you honor though right now. But don't want to take money out of any of my comedian brothers pocket. Well, you are though right now. Don't hire comedians. I know you think you like comedy. I know you think you want comedy. You don't want comedy. Okay, I'm going to go in and say if you'd like to hire me for something that is there, like, if you have a ton of like female it's beauty it's a good idea something like that

but when you do book the comedian it has to be like they know that that's what's happening right it's gotta be see if you if you if it's like a TED Talk thing and then part of it is i come in the middle of the inspirational people and i just make them laugh yeah and they're already sitting and paying attention to a speaker then i think it's great. It seems like your situation was a complete opposite of that. Complete opposite of that.

Okay, go ahead. Well, first of all, they told me to go do sound check. So I landed it like three o'clock in Houston, and then I walked to the venue, which I got some information from the hotel lobby. They're like, oh, it's right down the street. And of course, three miles later in the pouring rain, I'm like, where is this? Really?

Oh my God. It's such pouring rain on me. And I get there. And they hand me the check right away, which is the greatest thing ever. You know, you're like, this is three o'clock any afternoon, I have to do that.

So anyway, to check, I'm already done. Okay. Now I get there. And it's a giant venue. It's a giant outdoor. At Go Seats. No seats. People standing.

So it's a comedy concert, like with Chandias. It is a 100% comedy concert. Anyway, yeah, I go on at 6 p.m. 6 p.m. Also, awful time for stand-up. And they give me the list of the itinerary what's gonna happen to see me buffet At 6 p.m. Comedian 6 p.m. I like also they're putting the buffet and the comedian on the same time like yes

Nobody cares about me nobody knows who I am nobody knows juicy scoop. Nobody knows cover to cover Nobody knows Chelsea lately anything nobody knows nobody cares nobody knows so It was all of that's just awful. It's all just very humbling, whole thing. But you're just rubbing the check, you're just rubbing the check, you're just rubbing it a grins your groin,

it's okay, it's okay, take a deep breath. I know, yes, all of that. I wish I was one of those people who could just take the money and run. I'm not that good at it. I'm not either because it's, when people go comedy must be the hardest thing in the world. Like I can't imagine standing up there when nobody laughs.

Yeah, it doesn't matter how successful and rich you are, when you're in it, when you're experiencing, the bombing or no one paying attention or all talking while you're on the stage, all the money in the world can't take the feeling that you get in your heart and your head. And no matter how big the check is, no matter how big it is,

it just then, so that's what happened. So that it couldn't be louder, that they served the buffet. It's all people talking about whatever, there was like construction work. Yeah, they're trying to work and whatever. Yeah. And they don't want to be,

they just want to have a couple of drinks and go back to the hotels. They're all epic for a convention. And it's very loud and I say, is anyone gonna stop like the music or the talking and say I'm coming on? And they're like, no, just walk on stage and say, what do you do?

Do your gig, or whatever they say. And they wanted you to roast. So then one guy who I guess hired me or works for the company goes and do some roasting, these guys wanna be roasted. So I'm like, oh, okay. You know? But did they want you to roast?

Okay. I don't know. I once did, I once did a gig like this too. And they said they really, really, you know, roast these, they really are really gonna be roasted. And I'm like, okay, but I don't know what Carol in accounting, where's on a Tuesday and what her cupcakes taste like.

Like, how am I going to know that? Almost like, think that's what I, yeah, what you're going to do. I think, yes, right. And I'm like, but I, like, if that's the case, which I do think sometimes people want, and it could be amazing, that's going to cost you a whole, that's going to be a weak worth of comedy writers getting information and coming up with stuff. Like this is, that's too specific. I know.

There was also too many people to like, like, they were, they thought you were so gigantic. The person in the back, I'm roasting one guy in front of like, who's even talking about you? Right, right exactly. I can't see that person. Yeah, crowd works, doesn't work for two guys. Sorry, I get up there, I'm like,

good evening everybody, zero reaction. Like not even a one person turned around. Nobody. And they're just eating and I think they can even hear me. So loud of just talking. There would be like a kids like at a party also and you get up there and just decide to go, here comes comedy just out of nowhere. And so it's already just like so awful.

I'm just this is the worst thing I've ever done in my life. And I got to do a half hour. And I look at my watch and I'm like five minutes in and it's just nothing. Then one lone weirdo, who I guess also just walks, it does no seats. So he just like walks right to the front of the stage and he's just staring at me.

Like listening, like a good person. Or someone on the spectrum. I think it was more that So also nice start roasting him. I'm like, he's the only one here. Here goes I know this guy is and I just thought saying things like that this idiot's coming out here and I don't know if he's a CEO or something, but whatever so I get off the stage or just had no friends and the guy goes I said I could tell it was going badly. I could just tell.

And you did glance at your watch at this point? Oh my God, a few times. And how much time were you committed to doing a half hour? And what? And when you, And a band was coming on after me. When you glance at your watch for the first time, where were you at?

How many minutes in? 10. And I was, and it was, I had no, at this point I'm like, should I just start a story like that nobody would listen to it like nobody's listening Yeah, so now I'm just kind of riffing off the crowd which there's nobody listening into that either except for the 180 out of front and And then the guy who hires me. I see him on the side of the stage like doing this like at like 20 minutes. He's like You know and I was like I'm sorry. What I'm done and he's like, you know, and I'm like, I'm sorry, what? I'm done and he's like, I said, I'm just getting warmed up and then like, I was like a couple of claps in the audience

like, oh, not all of a sudden, like a performer and me came in and I'm like, applause. It was like three people. Just like, I get. So then I'm like, oh, let me go longer, you know? I could have walked off right then, who's like, you're done. Why did you, what did you say? I heard one person applaud and I'm like, oh, let me go longer, you know, I could have walked off right then Who's why did you want to know I heard one person applaud and I'm like, yeah, here they come They want more we're such the work. We are the functional. We are the bottom of the artists

When you think of artists and the art form stand-up comedians are the worst. I had the check. I could have just walked off and went to the hotel. I would have been in the hotel by seven o'clock, seven p.m. taking a shower in bed. And flown back the next day. Hit under the covers. Yeah, and I, so they hired me for two. Let me just say that in advance.

They hired me for this, the one I did, and one in two weeks. That's what they hired me. Okay. So anyway, the guy's doing all this, and I go on for 10 more minutes. I do my half hour, and the guy's dying in the corner, like, oh my, I guess somebody told him,

get this fucking guy off the stage. Or you're fired. Yeah, more or less, I think that's what happened. God. So then I get off the stage, and I'm like, how was it, and the guy's like, eh, fine, but he's just like running around at some, like I could tell he was putting putting out fires. Yes. Yeah

And I knew it was bad. So I walked back to my hotel in the rain In the rain and I'm just like it's the whole thing is just awful And I'm just like just get on the flight tomorrow and go home and then the guy just when you thought you've made it You have an experience like this that brings you out and said you are a standard community and you are the bottom of the pyramid of entertainers. I could never get to like another level. Every time I get to like, it starts to look good. Something shit like this happens. It's crazy now.

Exactly. We just like humbled back down to. Two. I got off. I was under the impression because I'm, you know, I'm out of my mind. I was on the impression that I'm gonna get off this stage and 2,000 people were like, amazing, what a performance.

Nobody knew who I, well, I'm extending it for a minute just to wait, somebody might come up to me and go, thanks a lot, nobody. I was like, I should just leave, like this is bad. Okay, so then what happened? Then I'm driving to another gig this week, Friday night, having in Baker's field.

And I get a- That a normal comedy club. A normal comedy club. I get a text from the guy who booked me says, hey, can you talk a minute? Which is the worst text you could possibly get for anything. Anything that's, anybody that you have a text relationship

and then they call you, it's bad. Yeah, exactly. It's bad. Yeah. So I, I, I call them back immediately knowing what it was going to be. You know, I like I said, I have another one coming up and I said, uh, what's up? He goes, Hey, man, what happened on Wednesday already? Like that's the opening line. I'm putting it on you. Yeah, like what happened on Wednesday? I was like, what do you mean? He goes,

they weren't they they said you were roasting the wrong people. They weren't they they said you were Roasting the wrong people And I said Well, I said and he goes why were you roasting? I said they told me to roast the guy literally told me here's what the guy told me He said he goes I love it the roast and he goes and then after I got off the guy the same guy told me to roast I didn't know if he was involved in the company. He was just like I love roast I didn't know if he was involved in the company. He was just like, I love roast. But he goes, can you give me an email address?

I want to email you more roast topics for when you come back in two weeks. So I'm like, oh, this is great. But I think this guy wasn't even part of the company. So the guy's like, why were you roasting? And I'm like, they told me to roast. And nobody was listening about why he goes, well, you roasted the wrong people. I'm like, I don't know who I was roasting.

It was 2000 guys in Patagonia Vests. Like, they all looked the same. It was white guys with, you know, dockers in Patagonia Vests. That's, that was, and that's kind of what I said. Like, I wasn't roasting like, your wife's a fat whore. Nothing like that, you know what I mean?

Yeah, it's not fat whore, not, there was nothing horrible, you know. So anyway, and then he said something, you know, some other things that they were not, they were not very happy. And I think I honestly can't believe they were even unhappy. I didn't get what you've been listening. I didn't think they listened enough to be unhappy. So I said, I assume I'm not doing the next one. He goes, no. Like they want their money back on the first one. He goes, you cash the check right? And I'm like, fuck yeah, I cash the check.

Like it's cashed. I had a situation like that. Let me hear it. Just to make me feel better. I too. One was they offered me so much money to do this thing in Vegas. This was like, I don't know eight years ago. Yeah. And then they came back and they're like, we don't have as much money in the budget. This is, I don't know, eight years ago. Yeah.

And then they came back and they're like, we don't have as much money in the budget. This is what happened, I think, with this one. But it was still so much money. Yeah. So I was like, okay. But they did the, they do the roasting thing. And it, but again, it was a thing in Vegas with huge ceilings and people at big round tables eating very far from the stage. I did my best. Right.

And I think I had to like also introduce people, which you know how scary that is for me, like because I miss pronounced everyone's name. So it's like, that is more stressful for me than I do. But they were like, do some impressions and no one knew what I was doing. All my faces, it's stuck. They can't see my face or screen.

And they too were like, we're fine. You don't have to do any more just introduce, because I was gonna do some time, introduce somebody that do more time and they're like, you don't have to do any more time in between the events. So then I was like, Well, that's already a bad sign.

Right, I barely did any time. I'm definitely gonna hang around the party after which is a discotheque because i like i want them i mean i've i've certainly people want to take photos with me i want them to get their money worth nobody came out to be watching photos with the nothing so there was that then there was this other one that like was filmed in like just a few markets some weird charity thing. And I was hosting it and it really wasn't for that much money,

but whatever, I was happy to do it. And they doubled my pay, they gave me my check, and it was doubled. And so I immediately was like, oh my God, I think maybe I misunderstood it, they misunderstood it, but who cares, it was again, an awful experience, very disorganized. No one cared about me. Nobody listened. I'm like, Peter, the minute I get off the plane, we gotta go to the bank.

Yeah. They made a mistake. They're thinking. And I mean, stop payment on this. I mean, I mean, I mean, this was so long ago, I mean, it was like, oh my god, this is gonna pay for next semester of private school, I was just really like, we have to get to the bank, right? Right. By the time, right as I landed,

Peter's like, they already canceled the check. No. They already canceled the check because they said they made a mistake. It took us at least two months of fighting with a person who originally hired me and everything to get the initial payment. Really? Yes. Wow. So that was worse than mine. Oh yeah. Yeah. They cancer the check. At least they didn't cancel them. They didn't pay. And I remember thinking, when even when I did that, I was like, should I go to

like the bank before I get on the plane? Yeah. And I was like, no, it'll be all right. No. Go to the bank, people. Go to the bank. You should have gone to the bank even after Houston. Well, I'll say this for both of us. Yeah. But my friend is in corporate events. He like, and I talked to him about it. And he's like, let me make you feel better about this. This happens to every corporate event. They get the bill on Monday, you know, because it was on Tuesday, whatever the guy called me, it was like two days later,

but back to like a weekday. Yeah. And he goes, that's when they get the bill, they're accounting people, whatever, and they're like, whoa, whoa, what is the, like who, you paid that comedian who was suffering up there for a 10,000, whatever the price was.

Yeah. And he's like, no, we get that check back like and they try he goes they try it with everything to sandwiches were good to the caterer they try and cut corners after always well that's how Peter got fired is when he ordered the seafood tower at a corporate Christmas party which is why I tell people all the time your boss is taking out don't ever order the seafood tower. Nope, nope. Exactly what happened was after the big event was that weekend,

the following like Tuesday, they got the bill. He got to think, hey, can you meet me Friday and bring your van with all the medical equipment? Oh my God. I got to tell you. So he knew he was being fired. He knew that like, and there was nothing he did wrong except ordered that seafood tower, but he ordered it The girl goes you want to see food tower?

Yeah, I think we want it for the you know I know he wants and I want it He didn't realize it then being a good server. She did 75 back then 75 times 10 Yeah, so the seafood tower was 75 back then, 75 times 10. So the seafood tower was $750 for a table of 10 when he thought like just a few of us wanted, just a mini. Right.

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It's the first time I'd ever been fired in my life like I'd have been fired from anything Have you I mean I've been fired from a comedy club or something? No never from a comedy club never from never from a comedy club. Yeah, yeah, but like jobs Yeah, yeah, Kenan Kenan fired me from writing on a late night talk show. Oh, wow. Because I, Oh, God, I've told a story like on Patreon. But I, I called in sick.

Yeah. To audition for two pilots. And then as other comedian, right, made him aware that it was pilot season. Oh, oh. Even though Keenan knew proof that I did that, but I did.

And then that night, the writer's assistant said, Kenan says he never have to come back. Oh, no. Except to get your stuff. Isn't it the worst? It was the worst. It's the biggest regret of my career because the show continued.

I would have gotten at least residuals for like another six months. And then I probably would have wrote, scary movie one. He did forgive me. And probably forgot that he even fired me. And we made for friends and then I worked on up several projects including White Chicks

and we're still friendly today. But, yeah. So that was the only time and that was my biggest revenge. Anyway, well I'll say once again to Heather, myself, and all our comedy brothers and sisters, we are the real heroes. Like to do that and go up in front of a cold crowd. Like, bands, this, it was a journey cover man

that was following me and I'm like, they're like, we, even they were telling me, like, we have it easy. We're just doing journey songs and we, nobody's even listening. I don't need people to listen. I don't have each other. Yeah, there's 10 guys on stage.

Like, and they don't need people to listen. No. So I was like, yeah, I need people to listen. and it's just me and I don't have anybody to turn to when it goes south no you don't yeah so at least you have today to recover because everyone's gonna say how much they love you today okay so Rihanna we did we watched the Super Bowl um at a it was a great party at my friend ladies house I got a great seat I watched it great party at my friend, Lady's House. I got a great seat. I watched it. Great game.

And I immediately tweeted, I loved it. I didn't know at the time that she was confirmed pregnant again. I didn't know if that was a post pregnancy belly stuff. She was pregnant. I certainly wasn't going to say it. But I love that she's pregnant. I love that she protected her body and didn't try to do anything that she couldn't do. She's still.

Except for being 100 feet in the air. Yeah, that's scared. You know, and I mean, there's that song, you know, the Calvin Harris one, do do do do do do do. And listen, I had a baby 17 years ago, and if I do that jumping up and down, which I still want to do, I will pee, okay?

I will pee. So I was like, she can't be expected to do that. She just had a baby or she's about to have a baby or both or whatever. She can't jump't be expected to do that. She just had a baby or she's about to have a baby or both or whatever. She can't jump up and down and do that. But I thought, you know what, she has a ton of hits. I was, I have to bring anybody else out. She didn't have to do a Satan worship.

She didn't have to. I thought it was perfectly fine. I thought it was great. And then of course, some people like I disagree. It was boring. Listen, last Super Bowl was probably my favorite because it was all my favorite songs from college. It was Snoop Dog, last Super Bowl was probably my favorite because it was all my favorite songs from college. It was Snoop Dogg and every each person came out. I just

had fucking tingles. Everyone in my age was like going crazy dancing. But still, I just love when they, as long as they pick someone that has a solid 10, 12 hits, I think everyone's happy, which she does. I agree. Sing a similar hits. Yeah, I thought it was go Oh, good, but it was it was yeah, I think it's this is a no win situation. It's like hosting an award show Yeah, there's gonna be 50% of the people who think it was great and 50% of people hate it no matter what you do And there's gonna be Crouchy old people that don't know her music right I thought it was great I thought it was like you know She's a mother. This is what our bodies do. She looked great

It was like I thought I i i was totally entranced so that was my idea i like that by the i i see a lot of people being upset that she grabbed a crotch at one point which is a dance move as seems to be everybody does it that's a dance move but then it says she grabbed a grudging and smelled her finger did you know i didn't didn't hear it i saw it yes i thought to uh... listen i thought it was kind of like why the fuck not it was about the only

thing that she did and again it's like this is i don't know i didn't run that part in bother me but the thing that uh... my niece brought up that i didn't is she did a little chittle branding she did a little like powder makeup on her face because she is one of the biggest makeup lines ever that people love like it's very

Successful. Yeah, so I thought I had a friend who brought a girl to our we had a couple people over my brother And one of our friends that I've had been with a friend of mine forever Yeah, and he brought a new kind of a new girl that I haven't seen yet Okay, and we were like oh, she seems nice. This is your friend's new girlfriend. Yes. Okay. And at one point, the point where she grabbed her crotch. I think the girl was drinking a little bit. Yeah. And she goes, oh, man, she just sniffed a Gucci. And I was like, what did she just say? It was a bunch of like adults sitting around. What if you can't say that in front of adults at a party? Well, it's kind of what she did. Yeah. She did. And so good times for her.

OK, so Megan Fox, the day before, does this photo on her social media removes machine gun call from all of her stuff and says, like, I know that you, what was it? Like, I know that you cheated or you shouldn't say cheated, but like the dishonesty is something that dishonesty is here. And then she also showed a photo of this like burning letter

The theory now is that they're not broken up and this was all a publicity stunt which is what they're all about Because she actually was the actress in the Rihanna M&M music video of Let me burn yeah, so she just was getting like hype for herself yeah I thought whether they're broken up or not she no one's talking about them anymore no that's the so she has to do this I mean I don't know am I ever gonna get to a place where I just like fake a divorce you maybe all right here we go take off the rings oh and then you just keep it where I just like fake a divorce. You maybe. All right, here we go. Check out the rings.

Oh, and then you just keep it at, yeah. I just don't say anything. I just stop wearing this ring. Yeah. Not like anyone, which I can't care. I stop in your mind because. Because you want some press. No, because my daughter is obsessed with hiding it

throughout the house. And now we have the new house, and we can't find it. And we keep asking, where is it? She's like, I'm not going to tell you. and we keep asking where is it she's like I'm not gonna tell you We're like is she ever gonna tell we might be gone forever. It also the great thing for a cheating guy to do With who as a toddler he can now say our child hit it and that's why I'm not wearing it Anyway, I'm done with these people I said they're never getting married this is a no one cares and also no one cares

after a while no one cares once you start having kids or whether you get married right only fun is new relationship to the engagement and then no one cares yeah I should not act to it's not doing anything. We're over him, the blood, nobody cares. Nobody cares about relationships. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, we don't care about you. So who cares?

And eventually, like, that one was gonna end. Well, that one wasn't going to be. And even if it's not ended, I still don't care. Have you shown up on a red carpet? You go at the next thing. Right, right. I don't care that this was all, I would fuck. Yeah, but I heard there was more to this,

I guess had deleted him from all the pictures on Instagram, I had that. I don't know if this is all hyped for whatever. Then I heard she started following Eminem. Yes, she strategically followed people that he hated or that Eminem hated, or I don't know who did the slew thing on Instagram was following and not. I'm so sick of people doing that where they're like,

I'm gonna do this cryptic post, then I'm gonna stop following, then I'm gonna delete people, then that's gonna be, I mean, guess it's kind of great to get people going. It's another thing I, again, no matter what I do, no one would ever notice or whatever.

But I know what does Megan Foxe do anymore? Is she an act? What if movie or anything anymore, right? I haven't seen her in a while. No, she hasn't. Yeah. So I guess it's just that. I mean, the last movie she did was Randall Emmett's movies, Midnight in the Switch Grass.

Oh, let's see, when you start Randall Emmett movies, I think it's down from there. Yeah, so she's not, and then Adele was there and I loved this because everyone's, she was like, shushing people in the crowd. So it was like Adele was like, all of us like, please, why is this football game interrupting my Rihanna concert, which is funny? This also happened yesterday. It was a deal.

We had the great award. What's the name? Sam Smith. Yeah, it just wore like a weird outfit. Who cares? yesterday. It was a deal. We had to play the war. It's a nice sense myth. Yeah, it just wore like a weird outfit who cares. Oh, wait, where was my girl? The mom. Well, anyway, my favorite Super Bowl story. So did you like the commercials and everything?

And you were like, well, my favorite Super Bowl story is the ultimate boy, mom. The mom whose sons were on either team. Oh, they, again. I love that story. The cat Travis Kelsey story. Travis Kelsey's. So much. I love that she got the custom made outfit. I love that she had each shoe. I love that. I guess they asked her to flip the coin and she was like, no, which is the right answer. Yeah. Because if she

flipped the coin, whatever son ended up not winning, they could bring it up for the next 50 years and you flipped in the side of the other sun. So I thought that was like my favorite story of the whole thing. And it was a super exciting game whether you like to learn. It was a great game. Unfortunately, it ended on basically like a penalty,

which was terrible. Like, and it could have been a, like maybe one of the best Super Bowl games ever if it didn't end on a weird penalty. Yeah. Anyway, so. And then the commercials were all fun. maybe one of the best football games ever if it didn't end on a weird penalty. Yeah. What, anyway, sorry. And then the commercials were all fun.

Yeah, we saw our JLo Dunkin' Donut thing. Yeah, which was interesting. I don't really understand. The point of it was supposed to be like, Ben Affleck was working in Dunkin' Donuts, but people's, like it was a reality commercial in the beginning, like, oh my God, shocked it. And then JLo comes pulling up and now the reality of it the it was a reality commercial in the beginning like right? Oh my god shocked and then J. Lo comes pulling up and now the reality of it. It's a fake

Come up. He's obviously not working at Dunkin Donuts and we were led to believe that at the end We're like this is where you go so now, but but they could have still had people come through and not known and got their real reactions I know, but it was just like you could have gone two ways with it. I don't know. It was a it was a bad idea All right, they shouldn't they shouldn't have had they should have had both J. L. O. I and him working in there and just got people's reactions John John to bolt out of commercial looks great Thank God he finally raised a shave Ted. Yeah, great. I know You know, so good for him. I hope he embraces all of himself. I really need him to live his truth now. Well, I don't know if you're gonna get that truth,

but I think we're going to soon. I think we're going to soon. Eventually? Yeah, hair first. Really? He's single, unfortunately, his wife has passed. Right, Kelly Preston. This is the time to live his life.

I got, you know, I'm all, anytime you do like any grease, throwback, I'm all about, I always feel weird that sometimes I feel like maybe I go back to Chelsea lately too much because I really haven't had a job since. And, but I'm like, everybody does. Like every commercial you saw was like somebody doing their character from 30 years ago.

Like there was a breaking bad commercial. There was a rocky commercial. There was a grease commercial. That was a Greece commercial. They feel like, I guess I got to do this again. I made this movie 40 years ago and I'm still referencing it. Speaking of Greece, there is a new show coming out called The Pink Ladies. Yes. That is supposed to be four years before Greece.

It's a prequel. But even though it was four years previous to the Greece, it's got a woke, as they would say. And I know even me saying, well, who's gonna get me in trouble, but that is what the articles are saying. A woke cast, meaning completely multicultural, it's gender bending. There's a girl who actually wants to fix the cars.

And there was that in the regular Greece. There was a couple that were like, well that whatever this girl is. Yeah. This girl is more convincing. Right. Okay. Anyway, so it's gonna be how the pink ladies began.

I think it could be fun. Why not? Who cares? Yeah. Some people will say that they're age-shaming in this new one, but in the original Greece, Stocker Channing was 42 playing a high school student. So they were... She was 35.

I know. It was so funny. Like watching an eye, like, these people were supposed to be in high school. Yeah. Like one of the tea birds was like, we're seating here. What?

Yeah, but always Broadway was another one. It was like Chicago where they would always put a star as Rizzo in the, what, Greece. So like one time it was Rose O'Donnell, one time it was Brooksheel's, it was one of those things. And they were all way old too. So it's your old, you know, your old. And so, um, all right. So, oh, but you know what, my friend who's an actor said he didn't, he was insuperable commercials. And I go, well, back then they must have paid a lot he goes no because actually they don't play that much yeah they don't play them much after I know

it's kind of a bummer yeah I had a couple of buddies in them and they only showed them once and that was the end of it they're okay you see here about that before we got to this yes you're about the 2b commercial that everyone's upset about no what happened there that it was very clever they made it seem like during the high-diving game they clever. They made it seem like during the high to the game, the commercial made it seem like somebody like sat on the remote or something. It switched like the thing. Oh, we did think it happened. Everybody did. The whole country was like, who's that is smart. Yeah. So I didn't realize I was a commercial. I still be commercial. I left still mad at my friend's husband. I really did think of like, who the fuck is fucking up? Yeah.

It was like at the end of the game. Yeah. And it pretended like somebody sat on the remote, or the remote was messing up. Now that is genius. And that's a clever idea. I didn't even know that tell you tell me. Yeah, that one and I thought the blue moon commercial was like, this is a butt-light commercial.

This is a Miller light commercial. And then I like, this is neither. This is a blue moon commercial. And I was like, oh, that's interesting. That they took, they showed two other beers for the entire commercial. And then at the end, I like, this is what the commercial is about. That was a good angle, too.

Is that? Well, I don't know. It was more interesting than the other ones. All right. There's a new show on Netflix. New movie. New movie. Your place or mine.

And I watched it. Yes, so did I. Fucking hell. And I have to tell you, I thought it. Yeah, so did I. I fucking. And I have to tell you, I thought it was horrible. I thought it was so bad. Okay. And I have a theory.

Wait, okay, go. I think this might have been our first AI script that was written. I think somebody went to the AI, artificial intelligence thing that can write you papers and stuff. And I said, I think they said, write me a romantic comedy about two best friends that are heterosexual and but have never gotten together except the one time they did when they were young and bring them together.

Also, I need it to be COVID-friendly for us to shoot it. So I need them in two different places for most of the entire movie. Okay. And throw in some funny jokes. The jokes were so bad. Okay. Can we get a talk about it? Okay. Cause I can tell you about this for an hour. I can talk about for four. Okay. Listen, your place of mind is Ashton Kutcher. Number one movie in the country right now, by the way, on my top ten on Netflix listen and he just revealed the summary close to her loved it so that's okay as i'm watching it i didn't you text me last night saying you have to watch it cuz it's the worst thing ever i'm watching it i'm like for me it's not the worst thing ever because it's i'm just enjoying that it was a lot of

cars music energy into the cars it was non-stop cars music that interviewed into the cars. It was non-stop cars music. I- Which I thought was weird to him. Like, why is it all cars? I get very annoyed how just what a lazy script it was. So I'm just annoyed. It was from 1990. Like, you say, hey, I say it was 1990.

They must have dug up a script from 1990. Possibly, possibly. It was, I mean, ultimate dry bar movie from early 2000s. Yes, it was so nothing clever creative You know except maybe the casting again. It wasn't an all-white cast. That's the only difference between a 2000 movie uh And that our best friend was a lesbian who was married to a woman right right to yeah And the worst empty coffee cup holding ever seen

Teg was okay so take it take Nitaro is the lesbian best friend who works at the school with Reese okay so let me just give you the premise reach with her spoon and ash and kutcher are two extremely good looking people the only other thing they have in common is that he likes to write books and she likes to read them well you had to have a picture she was a bookstore share yes so a lot of books so there they have found a hitch over the two best looking bookward were nerds that have ever lived okay and they go on to bone once

and then but it only happened once and they remain best friends even though they literally have nothing in common. They're not funny together, they're personalities don't have anything going together except she likes to read books and he likes to write them. However, they both didn't pursue their dreams. But they both became successful. To show you how hard they hitch over the head in this movie yeah in the very beginning it starts as this is twenty years ago here's how you know all they literally point to like the

he's wearing a chain wallet let and like she's her hair is a flat iron by with so they're pointing to the joke like we would have gotten it had you not told so many layers of tank tops I know so I'm like again Thanks for stealing a millennial TikTok joke like I've seen that for so many people that are like Watch me get ready in 2000 or whatever and they do their makeup and I'm like whatever You know because it's like a little younger than I am so I'm like I don't really care that you flat-on your hair Like why is that so fucking funny who cares? I guess that would be like someone being like, I've got a perm.

Who cares? Can I say this about action-culture? Yeah. Like sports or comedy or anything else. I think you have to do it all the time to be good. And I think action-cultures take some time off, whatever he does. I think he's involved in other things.

And I think he's forgotten how to act a little bit. Of the comedic like pasting. Yes, I think he's involved in other things. And I think he's forgotten how to act a little bit. Of the comedic, yes, I think he was definitely like, oh, this seems all new to him. He's just, the guy we once loved, I think, was not there anymore. Am I missing that? Yes, and I'm afraid I'm, if I talk about this too long, people are gonna lose people,

but I just wanna say these were really quickly, what really bugged me is she goes to New York to stay at his place to get accredited in some teaching thing. And he goes and watches her kid because she's divorced. And of course, he's a successful hot guy that can't find love. Yeah. Who doesn't know how to be a round a kid. Uh huh. So funny that a 30, a 40 year old man who's never been married and doesn't have a kid doesn't know how to be a round a kid. And they had a lot of running gags that didn't work the first time.

The nickname gag that he was going to come up with nicknames for the kid. And it would every, and they were like, is it not working? And nicknames aren't working. I'm like, he's going to this is good. This gag is going to keep going. The running the other running gag was that TIG always had a giant coffee. Yeah. Yeah.

Always had a giant coffee. What are there was a tenant night? And then she would even say, Hey, I've had five of these. I can talk to you. It was that. So that's her character. That is her only character trait. Besides, yeah, being a lesbian, which is not a character trait or being married being a lesbian and which is not a character

trait or being married to a woman which is not a character trait that she likes coffee. Other than that could have been anybody in the part. Then she the other running joke that I think is so dumb they're at a beautiful beautiful chic New York cocktail lounge bar and the one girl gets a martini and reswithered food gets a drink that has way too many vegetables and food coming out of it. Okay, maybe if you go to thank god it's friday's and you order a

bloody Mary it might have like one you know a couple extra food. That continues to happen to her throughout the show. Yeah. Every drink she gets has way too many vegetables. I'm like, you're telling me that happens where you get a cocktail for $25 in New York. Again, just like, oh, I saw this once. Like, I just imagined the writer being like, this will be funny, where she's like, oh, I've got my vegetable salad here.

Like, it just, it's the worst. And so, I know, like, reach for this food in Ashkritch have been around a long time. Both of them are like but i'm not doing this hack bit like they must have read scripts before that have this hack joke in it no they don't care and then of course she finds that he has written a book

and it's so amazing that um... she meets this editor guy that she's obsessed with so she gives it to him but she's terrified now they want to publish the book she She's terrified. How does she tell her best friend that she secretly gave his book that's now going to be public? What person wouldn't be happy to hear that? And it's only in a movie that someone has something that someone who spent years writing something that would be like, and don't you send that script to Paramount in Motherfucker? Like it never ever would happen never ever would happen but she's terrified so that and

then this guy who's like the hottest hottest sexing is publishing editor which I've met a bunch and they don't look like this and you know but he's a bookworm too he likes her so then you know that actually could your accidentally sees his that his ring light is on his ring camera and they're getting together and he's like what i'm gonna throw up if i see my best friend who i fuck twenty years ago home i love with screwing someone you're telling me any heterosexual guy that saw girl that he liked about to get fucked wouldn't continue to watch i would i would i just right so

that's how i feel about it it was just and then the kid plays hockey in san amonica uh... which is not i don't think that's a big hockey place but now you're right my time place hockey okay fine anyway he has been practice or played hockey in a long time because his mom is overprotective he's like no i don't care what your mom says you're still going to play hockey so he plays hockey he's like the best kid on the team even though he has no muscle to know fun to the kid but he does it is not like it was actually

kind of the best actor in all of it was kind of the best actor but i'm just saying like if you haven't been practicing for a long time you're just going to join the team and be like killer at it and let me tell you what does not work in movies and I have seen it a thousand times in the last couple of years and it doesn't work is is like new technology like zoom calls none of this stuff work yeah like the text work in movies

I know in real life this is the way we deal with each other now but it just doesn't really work and like we got to abort all that stuff and just go back to like, let's pretend these don't exist and we're back to like on when Harry met Sally type, you know. Banner, like actually like the two split screen. Oh my god. If you watch Harry met Sally and then you watch this, it's actually depressing. Oh, I know where we've gone. Talk about like the just, and then you watch this, it's actually depressing. Oh, I know. Where we've gone. Talk about like just not, it was just.

And the fact that the whole movie is basically them talking to themselves, you know, it's reached with a spoon again, like in a kitchen where she can't figure out how to open the cabinets and talking to herself, like, how do you open these cabinets? And then he has no plants. So when she stayed in this place for a week, she's gonna get some plants, she's gonna get some plants.

She's gonna get a couple throw rugs. Yeah. You know, because like he's just a cold guy, a cold drop dead gorgeous guy who lives in like a $5 million apartment, who no girl, and no he can't keep a girlfriend. Right. You know, every girl just dumps him.

And then she finally finds out, of course, they're in love. Yeah, I didn't get that far. Well, it cares. You knew they're gonna end up together. And then, if someone even writes me that I spoiled them, please stop listening to the show. Oh, I knew it was something. Yeah, okay. So, I don't care, you know, I'm never gonna be in Reese Withers' movie.

So, you know what, I don't like it. The other thing is, are they both very successful and doesn't he, didn't he own like Uber or something, and she sold her production company for her? She sold her production for $950 million. Why continue to do this? Because they're still an ego thing. But also she does good work. Like those, those, you know, the one on with the Cole kidman and more and more and more and more and more. Why do this crap? Because she loves doing romantic comedies and she even started to do, collect all the books to be movies. Yeah.

Because she's like, my move, they stopped bringing me these dry bar comedies. Right. I call them dry bar because they play them at the blowout bars. Oh, I was gonna say, what does the dry bar call? It's another thing, it's what I always say. It's what they only think they play

at these blowout bars. Okay. Oh, got it. So this will be there, too, probably. Yeah. Anyway, so she had to, and she built this great production company, have really great stuff. But I think she still likes to act and likes to do big faces and all that kind of stuff. And she's appealing.

I mean, they're appealing to look at. Yeah. I'll also say this about it, just could, I think if you're not like a movie fanatic or your movie fan, I think you'd watch this for an hour and 40 minutes and not be horribly disappointed. The only, I think it was the most awful thing

I've ever seen. There's obviously something wrong with me. You could say I'm jealous. You could say I'm annoyed. You could say whatever. And I'm not like, I know I sound like angry. I watch the whole thing. Because then I started to have fun about picking out how annoying it was.

But no one, like I said, you know, no one's asking me to read a movie, whatever, shut up. But that's my job now is to get my honest opinion and my honest opinion is it was a very lazy written movie. They both wanted to act again. They made it very easy for them to do this movie. Yeah. She they never even had to be in the same scene until the final scene. Right. And so they worked around their schedule. And we weren't thinking to call that reason. We on a red carpet having like a weird picture where they were like standing next to each other. But not, they had no chemistry.

It was like they had no zero chemistry. Yeah, even at the kiss at the end, we lifted her up and then they kissed and they're like, okay, I guess we'll get married now. Like, wait a minute. The last time we screwed was 20 years ago when you were talking about some great writer as if that's ever happening between people

that look like this. And okay, so I did watch you people. I did think it was, there were some really funny parts in this, this is from Netflix. I liked Julie Louie Dreyfus. I thought it was one of those movies that was like more really like hard laughter in the beginning.

And then when the romance happened between Jonah Hill, and I forgot the woman that's his love interest, right. Then it kind of has a dumb Hollywood ridiculous ending, but whatever. But other than that, I'm like, I liked it much more than that one. OK, so that was on Netflix too. But they have discovered that at the end, yes, I'm ruining it for you.

Guess what the end of getting married is they kiss and it was a CGI kiss. Yeah. And in extra or an actor in the show revealed that when they were filming it, it was almost planned for that. They never really kiss. They like, and then and then what's the reason for that? Because they, because they, they, the, the theory behind is that they lacked so much chemistry. Oh. And that was a whole thing that these two people would not hit it off, would not fun love. But the whole thing is that, you know, they're from two different worlds. He's this Jewish,

fine, it's weird. He's a Jewish financial guy. And but he really is a hilarious podcaster. Oh, oh, podcasting. And so hilarious with this with that girl, Sanjay. Oh, yeah. Yeah. That's his best friend. Yeah. Who is Black lesbian, who's very funny. And they have like good banter in the beginning, like podcast funny banter, like probably writers will send to juices, whatever. And so he quits his financial job after they live together. And of course, they're living in like a house that, oh my God, probably a seven million in Santa Monica, but it's like a cottage right yeah and

Because he's like I'm just gonna really pursue this podcast anything They're like three months later. They have a complete soundstage filming their podcast with like four people working it And being compared to Joe Rogan. Yeah And I'm like I hope everyone's sitting at home. It's like you know what? I'm gonna get a podcast yeah Because in three months, I'm gonna be up with the get a podcast. Yeah. I'm gonna get a podcast, because in three months, I'm gonna be up with the Joe Rogan, yeah. So.

But this and the sex in the city, they make podcasting seem like it's the most glamorous way to go. The easiest, most glamorous, most cute, fun, hang out with your friend. And yeah, and then she's a stylist, and they like me and you know so but they don't have and what is the on screen chemistry and aty murphy is is her dad

david a company so they're like david a company was it was more about the mom julia drifus okay being almost overly excited that he was dating a black girl that That's why it's all you need for that. And that then was offensive to her. Oh gosh. That she was like, I'm not a doll. I'd watched this. So, and Julia was great.

And now, like I said, there's some solid, really solid jokes in the beginning. Yeah. But, you know, yes, it has a Hollywood ending, it's a ridiculous whatever. But, no, they didn't really have chemistry, but I thought they were both well cast in their own part, but together, but the whole point is that,

that's what the whole story is, is that you wouldn't put these two together, but in thinking that they wouldn't go together, they literally didn't have like a sexual chemistry. Oh, okay, well, I'm gonna watch that. Okay, so let's talk about Valentine's Day, happy Valentine's Day. Oh, thank you, this is actually,

this is Valentine's Day, this will be released about Valentine's Day. Happy Valentine's Day, everybody. Oh, thank you. This is actually, this is Valentine's Day. This will be released on Valentine's Day. As I just ripped on two romantic comedies. I know, yeah. That's probably fun stuff to watch on Valentine's Day. Well, I have something that I would like to share with you. Because I went on, I did some research for the podcast. Yes, thank you.

Because I wanted to be like Jonah Hill and his. And at Hallmark, you go to hallmark.com and they will if you have trouble writing in the card like what to write to your significant other. Which you have to do that everyone. Hallmark will tell you things to write. They'll give you a list of things to write in your Valentine's card. Okay. And they give you different ones. If you're giving a Valentine's card to a single friend, here's some time. Yeah, here are some things you could write to a single friend. Okay. And the countdown to settling for each other continues.

Happy Valentine's Day. Ooh, that's, that's in, because it's the way for a single person sometimes to feel great about being single, that you should, is that I didn't settle. Look at my friend with that fat fuck of a husband. Right, right. Yeah, sure she's married, but I didn't settle.

Okay. This one seems almost a little kind of mean, right? I'll share some candy with you. You know, it's almost like I can't eat. I know you have nobody else. Yeah, I don't know what. So I'll share it with you. All right.

There's a bunch. Now here's another one that I, that I, if I would give you a Valentine's card, this is for friends. Ooh. This is what I would, they, Holmark, she just, I'd write to you. Like if Aston Kutcher was gonna give it to Reese Witherspoon

before he declares his love, go ahead. Yes, exactly. Okay. So we're just putonic friends. Thanks for being the loyal and caring friend. I love you. Okay. That's just a nice one. Yeah. Oh, you know what they call friends Valentine's Day? What? Palantines Day. I did not know that. I Know the typo. It said because there's Valentine's day. This is Valentine's Day. I just friends. Okay. How am I?

Who's in the how come they haven't made that a Valentine's Day. I just friends. Okay. How am I? Who's in the, how come they haven't made that movie yet? Wait, Cole Reese with the Spoon Ashton Kutch. Let's make Valentine's Day. Glad Valentine's Day is a thing, so I can wish you a happy one. If you and I are Valentine's still, in the year of 2025,

we are going to screw on Valentine's Day. Oh, that, oh, you're right. I just saw another movie. Really? Trailer. Yeah. A beautiful blonde girl who runs into her old boyfriend who now is married with kids.

Who said he never wanted kids. Right. So then she goes to her friends. What movie is this? It's coming out. Oh. She goes to her friends and she goes, now he never wanted kids.

And then the girlfriends who would never be her friends, by the way. It's like the casting, whatever. Again, not the same sexuality, not the same vibe. So then she, they say, well, you don't need, like what we need to do is just get you somebody to have a child with, like just get some sperm, you know, and they don't say, hey,

let's look into finding someone with some good SATs sperm you know and they don't say hey let's look into Finding someone with some good SATs where you could buy the sperm yeah, and like you know Maybe he's good at math and he's a certain height no they go we're gonna have a party and Invite all these guys and you just screw them all in one night wait what movies it this is what is this called this is coming out What are the comments for like what are the comments under it was like and they banned It's cold outside the song. Oh my god. That's funny. Yeah, that sounds like a gang gang bang or something. That's not right But she's wearing a dress the whole time But I guess screwing someone in the bathroom someone and then the guys all realize

Wait a minute like who's the actress in this movie? She's the pretty blonde that was in, what's the movie with a red head guy, Billions, his wife? Oh, yes. Okay. So this is what happens when you're pretty and blonde, but you don't have a baby yet and your clock is ticking and no one thinks you got to bang every guy at the party. Yeah, so they invite a bunch of different guys there. Yeah.

All different types. And then you're just going to screw them and hopefully one of their sperms will stick. And you'll never know. I'll see you let all of them ejaculate. And then when that one hits or whatever, you're just gonna raise the baby by yourself because you don't have any way of knowing that it is. So then you don't have to include that guy or whatever.

Remember how upset everyone got when Murphy Brown had a baby on her own? Oh my God. I mean, America has been on that upset since they made the green M&M unfuckable. People are so upset. Anyway, that was coming out too. All right, is there anything more on your Valentine's list? No, I mean, I can give this to this.

I'll just give you one more Valentine's. Okay Okay. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. It's one more Palantines. Um, soulmates aren't just a romantic thing. Thanks for being my friend and my soulmate. I want you to know if I gave you a Valentine's card. That's what I would write. Sex in the city did that. They said, what if we, why do we have to look for a guy? What if we're all each other's soulmates? Yeah. Yeah. But I think that's also weird with a friend because I think of for another friend might be like yeah I don't know if I want this pressure we even I always tell this story because um with my sister and I we live together before we before she met her husband she met her husband like a year and a half before I met Peter and we live

together and we had so much fun yeah she. She would, she was my pretty blonde sister who'd come to every comedy show. So every comedian was like, oh my God, like she's so nice. And what years is this when you go back and going out? This is like going out. Yeah. Friday night you went out, Saturday night you went out.

We lived in a apartment in Brantwood. We just had so much fun. She was the lawyer. I was a comedian, realtor, and we had a nice apartment and we just, we're very happy with ourselves. I just got an article, this is true, about the going out top is coming back. What's that top?

I don't know, whatever it is, but they said everyone had one of the 90s, whatever going out, they had a top for going out. Okay, my going out top was the bodysuit. Oh, that's... But that wasn't good for getting together. It was some an after. Yeah, but it sucked you in, a really nice cleavage, then I'd wear these jeans and shoe boots.

Oh. And a guest belt. Okay. That was my college going outfit. And it was like a jacket over this body suit. I can't remember if I needed it. I don't think I needed a jacket because it was long sleeve. And I wanted to like show all my assets.

Oh, I get it. I get you. And then, and no one at the end, then a flat ass was not talked about. So I didn't think I should get a little pep-lim jacket. Balance that out. I didn't have to even think about that. Yeah. Anyway, see what I was looking at my face, you know.

And so then I got, my other outfit was my romper, my halter romper from Express. That was a killer one. I also had a couple spaghetti strap dresses that I still kind of like. You know about the butterfly shirt? Remember how hot that was? It was an actual butterfly. I think Mariah Care, where the wings of the butterfly would cover your breasts.

You know the shirt I'm talking about? No. I think Mariah Carey wore it in like a video. Okay. And it everybody so much show that in this article I was reading, they showed pictures of Paris Hilton and all. No, anyone who's not in late 90s would have that butterfly. I've never had a great stomach. So I could never do the low rider jeans and show like the pelvic bones.

Oh, okay. That's just never my jam. Never, okay. Or the low ride like skirt. Yeah. Like a big flowy skirt. That's awful on me because then two little ankles are at the bottom and the stomach isn't good.

But I would still make the mistake and buy something like that where it and go, Heather, how many times do I have to tell you? This just isn't right for your body. I don't care that it's in or not. Can I, while we're on this fashion right now? Can I tell you another thing? If someone wrote me on Instagram about you. Okay. What are they?

It's not a bad thing. They said, does Heather know that the new red carpet pose is not hand on the hip? It's hands down at your side, just staring straight ahead. And then they showed me, sent me a bunch of pictures of people on the red carpet as of the last couple of weeks. Yeah. And everyone's got their hands at their sides just looking straight at the camera. No more hands on the hips.

Um, how do you feel about that? I was taught hands on the hips. Yeah, I know about it. People. People at four, okay? Okay. It is the most flattering look for my body and every time I try to do something different,

it's not the look I love. But my photos are going nowhere. So I think next time, I'm gonna do something crazy. Oh. I'm just gonna do like crazy faces. Listen, the only time I want viral is when I fade it on stage. I'm gonna do a crazy. I'm just gonna do like crazy faces. Listen, the only time I went viral is when I faded on stage. I'm gonna do a stroke face.

Stroke faces, have people wonder, have me fake trip, have me pull out a tampon and wrangle it and throw it. I don't know, do something different. Go full Whitney Cummings, like this. Just for like, yeah, yeah, yeah. I can't wear my tits or coming out. Oh, speaking of her, I have to tell you what Peter's been doing. Oh, so we have The rats that have gotten into our pool equipment for some reason. Oh, yes, Peter told me about that. He said a

It is I think all the Peter people are gonna like love this story, okay? So he set a wrap trap. Yeah. And we've done this now a few times. Okay. The rats get in there, but they don't die or anything. They're not hurt. Oh, they get in the trap, yeah. In the trap.

Then we take the trap up the mountain. Where Whitney lives. Oh. And we release them there. Oh, so you see. Oh, no. But the last time we release it. Whitney's like an animal. She's probably got now six pet rats because you

guys love some kind of high. Yeah, I said, look, this is a more expensive area. It's wild. But the last time we went, the rat, almost like, if you've ever taken like a pet to the vet and your pet knows, and so they don't want to get out of the car, the rat, I don't have the same rat, the rat didn't want to get out. Really? Did not want to get out. And I. The rat, I don't have the same rat, the rat didn't want to get out. Really? Did not want to get out and I'm like screaming because I'm like, oh my god, like is it coming?

Yeah. And this guy is walking by and I'm like, okay, I got out and then he goes, no, he jumped back into the part of your truck. He wants to come home with you. He got it. Oh, well, now you got it. So now I'm like, oh my god. So he may, i don't know if the rat could have survived but the rat i think came back to our our street oh okay i can't get rid of it yeah

uh... there you know it's a fun story little follow-up uh... on the a me roboc and t j homes as you know they're done i mean they get a lot of my leg out of this one and but people said she got more than he homes as you know they're done. I mean they get a lot of my leg out of this one. And but people said she got more than he.

Oh, I mean financially. And they're like is it because he was more of like a moral nuisance than she. Yeah. Because he had multiple affairs and she just had the one with him. But in what I think it's just that she was there longer. And she's more known. I think I mean, I before this role, but I mean, I know who Amy Robock was, but I didn't know who he was. So I think she's just more known. Yeah, so

that's it. Um, I heart has not announced her podcast yet, but I'm sure it's coming. Oh, it's coming. It's coming. I mean, I know, I was kind of on the side of like, on this one, like, I don't understand why having sex with somebody gets you fired But I guess that's the day and age like they can't take any chances at this point Well, I think also when they did the investigation people were like it was And the fact that he had two other affairs. Yeah, but as long as the Free affairs while working on the tiktok day show so what but like

Yeah, I know, but it wasn't it was nothing against anyone's will or anything like you know i know what it's just like i'm a worthy expression you know you don't fish where you should or whatever you eat or something which is all your horrible you'll fish off the company doc and you don't i never heard of it we don't shit we eat it yeah was always gross to me but yeah yeah like just come on dude like yeah again it's just so lazy all right all of this is true but it's not respectful to the people that you work with right whether it's a movie set whatever it it distracts from the

work okay but people are having an affair people have to be you know forced to cover up people things happened yeah so I think it was all of that, that they were just like, no, and then also just what I always said, it's like the show is good morning America. It's supposed to be good, clean fun. Yeah, that's probably what I had to do. It's been the magic's revealed. We realized like, you guys are all screwing each other.

And I just think. Third hour, too, they're like third hour, which that's really gotta be cutesy fun like that. It's light. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So I said I was gonna talk about Britain anymore. third hour to that like third hour which that's really got to be cutesy yeah it's like yeah yeah so uh... i said i was going to talk about britain anymore i can't even but i have to tell you what's going on well i i mean i know what's going on so teams in

all these people reported that her managers and they're gonna go to a home and like an airbnb and they're gonna have an intervention there where there she would have like one-on-one care, get her meds right, some therapy, whatever. She then posted this dancing thing. I think she did a talking one recently, I'm not sure, but she did write this, where she said, this week in the news, it said that I almost died and that I have a manager and doctors. I don't have a management team, normal ever, again in my life. I don't have medical doctors. I take pro-zek for depression and that's about it. I'm an extremely boring person.

It frustrates me to know that any news outlet would say any of this, it's worse than a cruel joke because people actually believe the stuff and all of my efforts and getting better with my little routine of prayer and therapy seems to not count for anything. When people can say things that incredibly wrong anyways change the subject enough drama i'm into diamond gowns and funky fashion at the moment good morning

see up until the right at the very end it seemed like that was elucid pretty good upon and then at the end it just goes every time will people there's theory that she's not writing it but people write this for her i just think you know why did you know but she has to have the instagram because when people have been this famous for this long right starting at sixteen whatever if she's not going to perform on stage which i don't know that will ever happen

again as you predicted then she's got to have it she's got to have it from this but she's like turned off the comments It's her going to happen. She's got to have it from this. But she's like turned off the comments and I assume she likes reading the comments. So it's like, and she's just going to keep doing like these really awful outfits and dancing around. That's what she likes. That's her routine for her day.

That is her routine. Yeah. Get up. Try on some clothes. Um, you know, I just can imagine like the pile of clothes in a room and like, I hope someone comes back and hangs them up, but whatever, try and sit close, spin around. That's that.

That's it. That apology, whatever, not an apology, her statement that she just made there. If she had done that two camera speaking, then that would be like, okay, maybe there is something to this. But the fact that she's not is weird, and I feel like we talk about this not a the fact that she's not is weird and, I mean,

I feel like we talk about this not a stop. And she's like, it's getting exhausting because like I've said, we're never gonna know the truth. Right. So if you wanna keep to you to follow her, follow her. If you don't wish her well, like wish her well. And if all she does for the rest of her life is post on Instagram of her dancing

and wearing like cheap outfits till she's 80 years old. Yeah. I wouldn't be surprised. Yeah. And that's okay. She's already accomplished so much as a 40-year-old woman. This might be it for her.

And that's what we have to accept and just love her for that. I want to know. Yeah. I know you've probably discussed this on other podcasts. But I want to know if the people who fought so hard The free Brittany movement and all that all of those people who were out there to get that all of this stuff lifted and whatever I want to know if they are happy with where it's Got into or they or they're at this point they're like maybe we were wrong. I

Don't think that they're gonna say maybe we were wrong. Because I think the truth is, some people argue she's not really free, but it appears that she has more freedom with this life than she did prior to them doing their movement. I think they hoped for her to have a better existence than Yeah. Then just staying at her house and wearing bad outfits and spinning around. Right, right. But like I said, this is what she's happy doing. Yeah.

And a lot of people are happy staying at home by themselves all the time and just being online. And just being online. Yeah. So that's all it is. Yeah. And like. But the Sam Ashgari.

Yeah. He went to ISO. He went to some red carpet event by himself, some movie premiere, whatever, and he was loving it and people were reckoning it. But he's not, he didn't do anything. So I thought that was a huge red flag. This guy just wants to be famous. It is, do you think it's, listen, do you think it's fun to be married to Britney Spears?

No. No. Of course not. You're with someone that does have a mental illness, whether it's someone controlled or not. Right. Just like you were someone who had some other kind of illness. It's hard when your partner has an illness.

Right. And he is with someone who has an illness. And. But I think he got into this relationship when that, I mean mean that was no secret but I also think people can fall in love with someone who yeah I feel and so I so I'm just saying another Reese with a spoon action coach or movie it's called I am ill and action could you're still accepts I mean every relationship is different like

it doesn't mean that would we, I don't think anybody wants him to leave her, whether it's not completely a genuine love or not. And then she has somebody that will take her to Joey's. And next time she goes, don't take a photo of her and let her enjoy those little, you know, lettuce tacos. And please go to Joey's, because I go to Joey's a lot and I love it and I

would I've got if I was so Brittany I don't think I would have taken my phone out though no now we know not to I won't do it to her I won't yeah okay um we know now Sex and City we have photos um thatiden is back. They are going they have kissing scenes. They have lunch and scenes It's on Now I have done so many I am a little surprised they're showing this much of it though I mean that you know that they've to full on hookup. There's got to be a there's got to be some sort of plot twist it could be a dream. It could be, you know, we don't know.

But I remember what I predicted last time, so when I thought... That big was going to die. No, that when I, when we knew he was kind of coming back, or I thought he would come back... That Aiden was coming. Yes. That, that she, he will be separated from his wife okay they will start to date and she will then be screwing two guys at the same time the podcast producer and a to also you think the pie get from going to be play more of a

role yes yes nothing had happened up in in the season one with him yet yeah she's going gonna be screwing two of the guys at the same time and she's gonna get a UTI which happens when you have two different dicks. Okay. So that's something she hasn't dealt with since you know, 2002. So that's gonna be some funny banter in large. Grandberry juice or something. Yeah, cranberry juice and conversations and Charlotte being like, Charlotte's gonna be.

Yeah, yeah. And then, you know, let's be a talk from you know one thing that I haven't gotten since I've been with Chadias is a UTI yeah you don't get it from you don't know it's about a different dick going in you oh oh no think about that girl at that party who has to fuck all those guys that movie that's you we called U T.I. Oh no. So anyway, that's what's going to happen. But that's in the end. In the end.

There's got to be more than a U.T.I. I'm in the end. I think he goes back to his wife or there's a moment where she has to be with his three boys and she's befundled because she's the action. But your she doesn't know how to be around dirty boys and there's a you know a juror and then she goes to you know Miranda give me some help you at a son that was always jerking off I don't know what to do with these but I don't know

to do with cleats just like she didn't know what to do with his dog yes yeah when does it start I'm so excited about I need I need another binge good binge watch. Your fun binge watch. It won't be a binge. They give it to a piece of me that wants a link which I like. Oh, that's right. They do do want to.

I don't want it to be a binge watch thing. Oh, no, good with that too. Yeah. Okay. So the girl Leonardo DiCaprio's model, which I said they were dating and someone said, you don't know that they're dating. Anyway, she deleted her Instagram.

She couldn't take it. Right. And this beautiful Israeli model with red hair, I just think that's the ultimate flex. That you are at a level of youth or success where you could delete your Instagram. Yeah. Because I could never. But what about it? That ever comes back.

That's the flex. It's coming back. This will come back. Coming back. Yeah. but do you remember when uh... when uh... charlie she deleted his twitter when he was going crazy with the tiger but but tiger blood and he had like eight hundred thousand followers or one point eight million i don't know

and he just want crazy one night and he deleted it is the greatest back then it was the greatest two months i think uh... that we were on chelsea at the time and he just kept delivering Like videos Winning remember And I'm saying just awful stuff about Chuck lore like everything Yeah, and John poor John cryer like this guy's terrible. I mean, oh, it's just the worst

But so exciting. And and then he went on tour. You went on tour. You would a live nation tour. Yeah. Jeff wills put together. Yes. And again, people went and were like, but it ended quickly. People were like, what is happening here? I feel it's like some real housewives when they start to like go into our people. Like, okay, like I wanted to meet you, but I don't know that I'd be seeing an hour and a half. Yeah, like I just want the photo. Right, yeah. It's what the photo I don't need to like.

Apparently I had heard that one of the sticks he was doing live on stage, Charlie Sheen was, he was lighting his bowling shirts. He was famous when he's bowling shirts on. Oh, on two and a half men. And he was lighting him on fire and saying you know fuck to an a half man and and the the theater's like you can't lay a fire on stage and he's like I got no other stick like so then I got a

quit so that was the end of it yeah he could like fire if only he had heard your story about performing for the exactly yes anyway I think back then he lost it like you didn't for for you for the contract. Exactly. Yes. I should have let a fine. Anyway, I think back then, he lost it. Like you didn't automatically come back. Now I think with Instagram, if you delete it and you come back, you can get all your people back.

My Twitter is gone. It's gone and I can't get back. I don't really use Twitter as much, but I like having it. Now it's cheating. I can't get back in. I think Twitter, I guess, much, but I like having it. Now it's cheating. I take it back in. I think it's because of Twitter, I guess. Donald Trump didn't like Rihanna before. Yeah, he said, yeah.

I'm like, I guess Rihanna... Epic fail, epic fail, not very good. She's not a good person. Ah! Ha! Ha! That is so good. I'm like, I go, what?

I didn't even know that I go, is Rihanna the new Rosio Donald? No, Rihanna was just like after Rosio your daughter for like twelve years and i like what is the issue like just and even brought it back up like that big that yeah he goes i don't call anyone to pay except rose to the country's a big but he's like okay like what like what anyway yeah yeah he didn't like the reawner performance but i guess they had a beef a while ago and Okay, Chris we have more to talk about so we're gonna we're gonna do a little more and this is gonna be for Thursday

But first let me just tell everybody Where they can see you so you could put their calendar today Oklahoma City this weekend this weekend It's a brick-town comedy club in Oklahoma City Thursday, Friday and Saturday. Awesome. Then I have so many shows coming up. Franjola.fun has everything coming to New York and in March. Where in New York City. I'm going to be in a fun place in New York. Hold on.

I have it here. The cutting room in New York City. That sounds cool. It's a cool little spot cutting out. It requires on Long Island. The Nannas and New Jersey. Stanford Connecticut, New York comedy. He's cold. He's cold. He's cold. He's cold. Baby.

Two million buffalo Memphis, Nashville. She's on and on and on. A thousand dates coming up. Friend, Jola. That fun has everything comes to me live. Oklahoma City is next. And of course, listen to cover to cover cover to covers my podcast. Follow him. Okay. Listen to Cover to Cover. Cover to Cover is my podcast.

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Cover to cover is my podcast. Cover to cover is my podcast. Cover to cover is my podcast. Cover to cover is my podcast. Cover to cover is my podcast. Cover to cover is my podcast. Cover to cover is my podcast. Cover to cover is my podcast. Cover to cover is my podcast. Cover to cover is my podcast. Cover to cover is my podcast. Cover to cover is my podcast. Cover to cover is my podcast. Cover to cover is my podcast. Cover to cover is my podcast.

Cover to cover is my podcast. Cover to cover is my podcast. Cover to cover is my podcast. Cover to cover is my podcast. Cover to cover is my podcast. Cover to cover is my podcast. Cover to cover is my podcast. Cover to cover is my podcast.