Juicy Scoop with Heather McDonald - Stand-up Comic Rachel Feinstein on Firemen, Musicians and What Not To Wear

Episode Date: May 16, 2024

The hilarious Rachel Feinstein Netflix Stand-up Special airs May 21st!! Rachel followed her rock musician boyfriend to NYC and thankfully he dumped her, so she had no choice but to do stand-up comedy. Her impression of her acting teacher is hilarious! Her worst audition is humiliating. We discuss why most men don’t find funny women desirable. Luckily, Rachel fell in love with a firefighter that gave her lots of material. Both of our husbands are named Peter and both love Costco and fixing stuff, but the similarities don’t stop there. From mom guilt, to never being happy with our stand-up comedy outfits, we share it all. Rachel is not only hilarious, but sweet as well! Enjoy! Get 20% OFF @honeylove by going to https://honeylove.com/JUICY ! #honeylovepod Frizz-free up your schedule with OUAI. Go to https://TheOuai.com and enter promo code JUICY for 15% off any product. Shop Juicy Scoop Merch https://juicyscoopshop.com  Get EXTRA Juicy on Patreon https://www.patreon.com/juicyscoop  Follow Me on Social Media Instagram: https://www/instagram.com/heathermcdonald  TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@heathermcdonald  Twitter: https://twitter.com/HeatherMcDonald Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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for info on Kraken's undertaking to register in Canada. Heather McDonald has got the Juicest Scoop. When you're on the road, when you're on the go, Juicest Scoop is the show to know. She talks Hollywood tales. Her real life, Mr. St. Vincent's serial data and serial system. You'll be addicted and addicted fast to the number one tabloid real life podcast. Listen in, listen up.

Hannah McDonald, Juicy Scoop. Hello and welcome to Juicy Scoop. I have such a fun fun juicy interview. You're absolutely going to love it. Before we get to that, I just want to remind you guys to go over to HeatherMcDahl.net and get your tickets, especially for this weekend in Denver. The first show on Saturday is sold out, but I've got shows on Friday and second show Saturday there's still a few tickets left. Julie Goldman's joining me. That is at the Comedy Works in Denver.

And then of course I've got all my other dates and they're at heathermeighdahl.net. That's where you also join Patreon. After that I've got Temecula and At the Pechanga with Chris Franchal. So many others. So much is going on. So make sure that you do not miss out on those fun shows.

And now for a funny lady. Hello and welcome to Juicy Scoop. I have a hilarious woman here that has never been on Juicy Scoop before. I'm sure some of you have heard of her, love her, follow her. Rachel Feinstein, welcome to Juicy Scoop. Thank you, Heather.

Thank you. Big fan. I never met you before. Because you're like the East Coast girl comic. Yeah. I don't know where I am when I'm out here. And I am the East Coast girl comic. Yeah. Did you come, did you grow up here? Yes. I grew up in Woodland Hills. Then bought the house next door to my parents. And right now my audience is like, we've heard all your fucking stories Heather. Shut up. It's time to learn about you. I've been staying with my aunt in Woodland Hills,

so that's where I've been, and now I'm moving to my brother's house, yeah. Well, do you need to go home to Woodland Hills after this? Because you could just come home with me. Yes, actually, I do. And we can charge your phone. Oh my god. Yay.

Yes, I'm going back to my aunt's house in Woodland Hills. Oh my god, amazing. OK, that would be great, yeah. Because I'm always in a parking lot trying to figure an Uber out. I don't know where I am. I'm so New York when I'm here. People think I'm a lot.

I always come in just like too hard and they're like, whoa. And then I'm always going in the wrong direction. So I was like at this, I'll be like at the store and somebody like, did you mean to walk into that parking lot? That's a parking lot. Do you know that like people could also tell that I'm doing the wrong thing so I'm almost like crouching and like hiding my mistakes here. Well you'll be just fine. How long you've been doing stand-up for? Because you started young. I did.

Didn't you go into like right after high school? Yes I've been doing stand-up over 20 years. I moved to New York when I was like 17 with this guy in his band at the time who kept dumping me and I just kept staying after he dumped me. So wait, okay, now I know some of these stories but my audience does not know the stories. And it really is a unique stand-up origin story because I mean I love you do your mom a lot and your mom is a very different mom than mine. She was like the opposite of mine. Mine's like Irish Catholic, you know, go to college,

don't have sex before you're married, make your own money, have a career, da da da da. But your mom was like, it sounds great that you're leaving for this. She had no follow up questions. When I moved to New York with a guy and his band called Dick Sister. My mom was like outside in a dashiki.

Like, sounds terrific. So it's Dick, the word Dick. Dick Sister. And then how did they come up with that name? I don't know, but their shirt was like supposed to be somebody that was born with a vagina and a dick. So it's not- It's intersex. Not a trans- intersex.

You used to say intersex. Yeah, like, and I shouldn't say any of this because I'm gonna get it all wrong. No, it's okay. Okay. It's okay. Can I start this sentence anything because I'm gonna get it all wrong. No, it's okay. Okay. It's okay. Can I start the sentence again so I don't get scolded in the comments? Well, I mean, this really did happen.

Yes, it did. Like 20 years ago. And this was a t-shirt, and I can't remember the name. There really was a t-shirt. We can't erase all history, people. You're right, absolutely. So it was someone with two? A penis and a badge next to it,

and it was called Dick's Sister, and I moved to New York with it. But it was a person or just a dick and a badge? It was like a cartoon with a dick and a badge next to it, and it was called Dick's Sister. But it was a person or just a dick and a badge? It was like a cartoon with a dick and badge. Oh, a cartoon. Okay. It wasn't like a person being utilized. That would be sad. How did you meet this delight of a musician? He was five years older than me.

I think I met him at like a DC hardcore show. I was by all means going to be like homeless at best if I didn't figure something out. I was a, I was by all means gonna be like homeless at best if I didn't figure something out. I got very bad grades. I barely, barely graduated. I mean yeah. But your mom was educated. She was a therapist. So she was a social worker. Yeah. So then what was her attitude about the fact that you were not excelling in school? She was just like kind of watching me. There was a lot of analyzing, there was a lot of overly testing me to figure out my issues.

So it wasn't so much as like pushing me hard because they knew that there wasn't jeds in hell that any university was going to want me. I think it was just like there was a lot of over analyzing of why I was doing so badly in school and like no boundaries. My mom always just had like a leg up, just like straddling the bed, just trying to get to the bottom of, you know, my pain and my darkness.

And then there was also sort of like a vague, so it was being like always rescan, a lot of scanning. There was a lot of scans going on in my childhood. And then when it, but it wasn't like, because they wanted me to go to Harvard. I mean, everybody knew that I, I wasn't going to get into any school. And I think that it was like analyzing

for the sake of analyzing. They wanted me to do a little better in school. And then when I went to New York, I think she just applauded any decision that was sort of not traditional. So she was just sort of loved to talk about her daughter who was going to the Big Apple. And she loves to mention

if she has gay friends. She'll be like, did I tell you that Art and his partner went to a play in Greenwich Village? I'm like, that's not a story. There's just a, yes. So she's one of those women that is very proud to have non-white straight friends. Oh yes, yes.

Nothing would make my mom happier than like, the person in any story, they can't be white. They need to have something else going on. That's not, it's just gotta be like a cocktail of things that either somebody she can analyze and get to the bottom of their pain and they can't be white. Also, they cannot be white. Why is that? She's white. She's as white as the day is long, Karen. Yeah. She just loves, she's a bleeding heart liberal. She's like, and then I married like, I talk about it in the special,

an Irish Catholic Brooklyn fireman, you know? Well, I love that you married an Irish Catholic fireman because my grandfather was an Irish Catholic fireman and he was the fire chief in Long Beach, Long Island. Oh really? So you come from a firefighter family. Yes, my dad didn't do it, but my grandpa did. So, okay, so you, so OK, so there's so many things to talk about.

You have a special first, let's just say. The special is available May 21 on Netflix. Yes, it's available May 21, Netflix, and it's called Big Guy. And that's because you married a big guy. Because he calls me big guy. That's why. Oh, OK.

Yeah. I know. I saw that clip, but I want to do it. So he calls you big guy, that's why. Oh, okay. Yeah. I know, I saw that clip that I wanna do. Yeah. So he calls you big guy. Yeah, and even has a song. When did that start? He even has a song that he sings.

He follows me around the apartment and goes, she's my big guy, she's my big guy. He just, how long has it been going on for? A very long time. I think he sort of called me big guy very soon into our relationship. He likes to brush his mustache, follow me around the house and just be like, hey, big guy, hey, come on.

He knows I hate it, so he's gonna do it more and more. Now that the special's called it, he's even more proud of it. He'll be like, look, come on, it's big guy, it's a special. It's awesome. I'm like, no, no, no, but it's working because it was so awful. You're just charted and you're like,

this is just not a sexy day to be called. Yes, and people I'm like, no, no, no, but it's working because it was so awful. You're just charted and you're like, this is just not a sexy day to be called. Yes, and people are always like, how does he feel about you talking about him on stage? And the answer is proud of all the shit he says to me. It only makes it all worse because the more I'm infuriated about something, the more I wanna talk about it on stage. And then when I do and he sees it, he's like,

that was my thing, that was awesome. And then irony is not getting back to him. And if it is, he doesn't care, it's still his thing. How did you guys meet? We were set up, I was hanging out at steak houses, cause I heard men hang out at steak houses. I read- Did Patty Stanger tell you that?

Yes! I got it from Patty Stanger! You're the first person that knows that I got it from Patty Stanger. I did everything Patty Stanger told me to do. Okay, wait. Hold on a minute, Patti Stanger. I did everything Patti Stanger told me to do. Okay, wait. Hold on a minute, because Patti Stanger, everyone wants to say Patti Stanger doesn't have good advice

and she's out of touch and she's a woman who's six years old, who's never been married, so who is she to say how to make it work? But I did. But after her show ended, when she had like her original look, now she had her original look, now she has never looked better. And she would say, you know what guys?

You know what, rich guy, they're at a steakhouse. Make friends with the bartender and bring a book. And bring a book and all these millennials were like, what, nobody has a book. And she was like, well, have a book. Well, I thought that that was good advice. So tell me your steakhouse story. Now I did not meet my husband at a steakhouse.

However, I still think it isn't bad advice. Okay, I could have easily met my husband at a steakhouse. When you would go to the Mastros, or wherever you have in New York, I would say for California steakhouses, there's like a tier, okay? So Mastros I think is like the most expensive. And then there's like Larsen's and like Fleming's.

And then Ruth Chris, we just got a new- I'm still taking UberX. We got a new Ruth Chris in Woodland Hills. Okay. And I really love Ruth Chris. My husband loves that one the most. Okay. Because he likes that sizzly, buttery crust.

Okay? That sounds good, yeah. Okay. And then I think it's like a black Angus or whatever, would be like next. So what's the Australian one with the blooming onion? Does that count as a steakhouse? I don't know which one you're talking about, Alpac?

Yes, yeah. I don't know if it does, maybe. Maybe not. It's a California pizza kitchen kind of vibe. But I think I was, by the way, at some place like that. I think it was like Del Frisco's or Keen's is actually pretty good. Del Frisco's is pretty nice in New York. Del Frisco's or Keen's I was at.

Actually, they're not bad. So you're goal-own as a single lady. How many years ago was this? This was in 2016. Okay. And because you saw Patty Stanger interview somewhere. And you were like, oh, I'm going to go to the pizza place. And you were like, oh, I'm going to go to the pizza place.

And you were like, oh, I'm going to go to the pizza place. And you were like, oh, I'm going to go to the pizza place. And you were like, oh, I'm going to go to the pizza place. And you were like, oh, I'm going to go to the pizza place. And you were like, oh, I'm going This was in 2016. Okay. And because you saw a Patty Stanger interview somewhere. And now do you bring the book or are you just looking at your phone the whole time? Because looking at your phone will not get someone talking to you. I didn't bring my book. I brought a hot friend who was really hot, who always knew she was high and just had confidence because okay, I'm like, I'm not going to actually talk to strangers. I'm just going to be sitting at a steakhouse

throbbingly lonely. And sit at the bar. And sit at the bar. OK, you have to sit at the bar. Because there's big groups of men. And nobody's going to approach you at a table. Nobody, except for the waiter. No, somebody had to be like, yeah.

The guy that's going to approach you at a table when you're sitting there with your friend is going to make a suit out of your skin. That's like some Dear John kind of shit. Yeah. Like, that's the guy that's, Dr. John, is that the name of the show? You know what I mean? Dirty John, Dirty John, Dirty John, Dr. John.

That's the guy that's gonna wear scrubs when he's going to a botman's fun. And it's gonna be like a Halloween costume that he bought. Okay, wait. No, I feel like that guy walks up to a table with two people. Everyone wants to say Patty Sayager doesn't have good advice

and she's out of touch and she's a woman who's needed. Even though I didn't meet my husband at a steakhouse, I do think it's good advice because we didn't really finish it out fully because I was meeting my friend a lot and a lot of times like... After her show ended, when she had like her original look, she had one of them that was like osteoporosis old, like not like, oh he's a's a little older. You know what, guys? A cold elder. You know, rich guy at that steakhouse. So I might not have got caught a lot of dick at steakhouses,

but I still feel like it's a good idea. And bring a book. And all these millennials were like, what? Nobody has a book. Because I was out with my friend, and she texted her husband, Rachel, and said, fine man, at steakhouses, do you have a firefighter for her? Because she's married to a firefighter.

So he gave us a fireman. He gave me his P. The only problem about going alone though, which sometimes they say you'll get hit on more if you go alone, in certain places, I was at a very nice like steakhouse situation. Just observing, yeah. And this woman was there having her wine.

And it was like, remember that scene from leaving Las Vegas where he like lifts her up from her ass and like throws her out of the casino. So it wasn't that bad. It was at the Montage Hotel in Laguna. But I was watching the whole thing and they definitely were like, okay, who are you waiting for?

Like, you need to go. They scolded her. Yeah, they basically were like, you need to go. And I'm like, oh my God, that's awful. And she's like, I just listened to a podcast with Patty Steger. I'm not a hooker. Leave me alone.

Like I just, I heard there was rich guys in Laguna and I had a glass of red wine and I'm sipping it very slowly. By the way, I want you to know that what I got from you just explained that to me, it says so many things about me and they're not good. What I got from that was that I was deeply flattered that you thought somebody would mistake me for a prostitute I was like, oh, this is great that somebody would think that I was a sex worker was very flattering and also I was thinking like Hmm, like I guess I should have done that. I mean I couldn't have done that alone because the problem is it depends on your personality

Okay, I don't I can't talk to people when I'm alone. On stage, I can talk to anybody, but I need a hot friend. So I feel like the answer to whether Patty Stanger, my personal hero, and I just want to say thank you for your service. And you got married without my pheromones? She's also pushing pheromones. Is she really?

She has a pheromones review. Okay, like I always just say that Patty Sanger has some good ones and some bad ones, OK? The idea that you should bake a cake and bring it to a man on your second date, that's not good. I feel like you went too crazy. Yeah, she was like, bake a cake. Stay in your feminine energy.

Bake him a cake. If you want to pay, instead of paying, she's like, just bake him something. And I feel like that looks, it's too much. If, you know, second date, you just bring your egg cake, it's not good, it's not a good look. No, it looks mentally ill. I remember one time this guy came over to my house

and we ordered some food and he sat down and he like, I realized, oh, he wants me to like make, put it on the plate for him. And I don't know why I thought that was like such a big, like I was like, fuck it, make your own plate. And I'm like, no, she's kind of right about that. I don't think you have to make a cake. You have to do something a little bit like that. A little bit feminine. I remember

even working Google me and learn the truth about me. That's the problem with that. Like, I feel like so when you okay. So wait, what year were you on the prowl? You said 2016. 2016. Okay, wait, stay with your advice, though. So you think I do think I do think a little bit of taking care of a man. I mean, it's why I think sometimes my single childless friends would be bitter when a divorced friend with children would get a guy so quickly and get married again so quickly. And I always said it's because she's a mom and she know it's her second nature to take care of other people around her.

Now that I'm a mom or whatever and food comes, I would never just sit and expect like my husband to put the plate together. But when I was single, I'm like, why is this guy getting his own plate? Anyway, I do think a little bit of that goes a long way. Yes, I do see. I do see a little bit of that goes a long way. Yes, I do see, I do see what you mean. A little bit of like just not like, but just being like a little domestic and sweet

and as like, will go a long way of them like seeing something there. Yes, I do think you're right. A little selfless. And you have to take things off somebody's plate too. Like you have to make their life easier. You have to put it on and you have to take it off, you're right.

I didn't even mean to do that, but you do. You have to like make their life easier in some way. You have to put it on and you have to take it off. You're right. I didn't even mean to do that. But you do. You have to, like, make their life easier in some way. Yeah. And I think that what I did for my husband was pretend to be like that, and then he slowly learned the truth. Oh, really? So I did create an active lie in the beginning. Like, you know, I wasn't, like, telling him lies.

Okay, so wait, how did you meet him? So after you didn't meet anybody except for the elderly at the steakhouse. Then my friend texted her husband, and she's like, do a firefighter for Rachel. Had you ever thought about going by a firehouse? That's Patty Stanger's other advice. I always thought they were hot. But it never even occurred to me that I would end up

with a firefighter. I was like, when am I even going to meet them? And I also felt like they probably had a surplus of ass, so I wasn't gonna like stand out in that pile of ass that was served to them every day. You know, so like that did not even occur to me. And when my friend showed me the picture of him at the bar, I thought he was hot, but I was like, this guy is not gonna want anything

to do with me. He brought, but it belongs with like a, some like nurse, the hot nurse, named Denise or something. Yeah. My mom always said, nurses and policemen, they always get together, Denise or something. Yeah. My mom always said, nurses and policemen, they always get together, but then they get divorced.

Yes, they'll use this clip against me one day, because they'll leave me for a nurse, and they'll be like, she knew, and it'll be me and my Paula Poundstone blazer, like just guessing the man my husband's gonna leave me for. The man, the man or the woman? The woman, sorry. Or the man, and that's okay.

That, now. A male nurse would be more interesting at least. That'd be a fun loving surprise. Oh, that would be so. If he left me for a nurse, it was a male nurse. But Heather's poem was right. Summer is around the quarter, which means a lot more parties, more weddings, more nights out and hopefully more vacations. And that's why I'm so thankful for today's sponsor Honey Love for covering us with the best shapewear ever. With Honeylove, you can feel your best when you're wearing less. They have revolutionized compression technology so you no longer have to feel like you're suffocating while wearing

effective shapewear. You guys, I love Honeylove so much. I have never had a more snatched looking waist while being comfortable. I love the super power short. It is so great. You can skip the undies because it has that little convenient opening in the panty area and it doesn't stop there. Honey Love just has so much more scope where everything you need. Treat yourself to the best bras and shapewear on the market and save 20% off at honeylove.com slash juicy. Use our exclusive link to get 20% off honeylove.com slash juicy. After you purchase, they'll ask you where you heard about them. Please support Juicy Scoop and tell them we sent you. The summer vibes are just getting started, honeys. Shape your life with honey love.

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I wanted to be a comic, I used to watch standup before I ever did it and I just thought I know I could do that. I would love to do that. But I want to get married and have kids and who would ever want to marry a female standup comic. I really said that. Yeah, I get it. There was no example of like a happily married female comic when we were coming up. I'm sorry there wasn't. There wasn't, I know. Roseanne got divorced. I still feel there's a bit of a supply and demand issue

with it, I don't think guys are shopping for a female comic once. No, nobody wants one. Nobody wants one. And it hurts. Because you would see, it's like, who wants that sassy talking thing? Like, no, it's like the most un-feminine thing, I think.

Now, so I was like, well, I just want to do this, and I'll just have a child of my own and just be a standup comic, if nobody ever wants to marry me. And I would get guys interested, but it was always either ones that were kind of wanted to do it themselves or they were like, well, how long are you going to keep doing this?

Yeah, I got that. I got that a lot. And then, yeah, so what would they... And I never dated, I didn't really want to date other comics or actors. So it was hard to find someone that got it. I wanted to date a real dude, a normal dude, but did they want me? I always wanted normals. Yeah, it's appealing. Like, I wanted a real dude, a normal dude. But do they want me?

I always wanted normals. Yeah, it's appealing. Like, I wanted to like, one of us to like, there's something about a guy with like a stack of head shots by his bed. Yeah, it's just like, yeah, there's something about a guy. I was into the normal guys. I like to, you know, like what I talk about in this, but like just a working class dude, just a thick neck, dusty guy.

And that's what I liked, and that's what I was looking for, but they often don't want, but I will say this, here's the thing, you can't decide anything in a list. So I'd go into my therapist's office and I'd be like, I need somebody that, you know, they have to accept my job. So after I tried to get a normal guy and couldn't, or this particular guy, like I was dumped a few times by normal men, I'd be like be like okay so I need a I think honestly there's

more guys that are open to dating a sex worker than a female comic I think you're right can you guys let us know in the comments because I'm kind of curious I have an open mind so what she makes her money on only fans she's a stripper who cares but then mmm she talks about you on stage. Like, I think that's the- That part he likes. That's why it works. So I think with my husband, it's always been fine.

Mm-hmm. He won't admit this, but I think there's been times in our marriage where there'd be other men that would sometimes, like, give him shit for what I said. Hmm, interesting. I don't think he's not cared. like give him shit for what I said. Interesting. I don't think he, he's not cared. I mean, he knows.

What does your husband do? Well, when we married, he was in medical sales and then he got into mortgage broker real estate. And then the first year after I got my first, I've done this show for, it'll be nine years in July. And after the first year, it was a big nightmare problem with the network and stuff. And he was like looking at contracts

and actually my first special I ever did, he was like, this is the worst contract ever, you'll never make a dollar off of this. And I was like, well, I don't care. I've never done this to make money. It was always like, well, how else am I going to get a special? Yeah. So thank God.

Who cares? And he was right. And he's right. He's a businessman. I never made a dollar. The only money I made is if I sold the DVD after for $7, and I would get to keep five of it. That's it.

This is helping me in a more profound way. We'll talk about this on the way home, but this is really, and you just solved my life all of a sudden. So then I was like, why are you complaining about my representation then? Why don't you really read the contracts and really, really help me? And so then he started to help me,

and then he learned how to do all the stuff. And then, you know, so now he just kind of, now he manages all my stuff and manages my things. I mean, I still have William Morris and stuff, but like. Sure. Yeah, and then it goes and ebbs and still have William Morris and stuff, but like, sure, yeah. And now, and then it goes and ebbs and flows. Sometimes he's more involved other times, whatever. It's amazing.

And it hasn't been amazing. It's very hard to work with your spouse that I've said it over and over. And I would, I've said it to him and it can be the best because nobody has your back like your spouse and you have a family together. But you're also like bitching about stuff you wouldn't be bitching about if you didn't have a business together.

So you'd have less fights. Right. And so, but, you know. I mean, here's the thing, like my husband screams at me when I want him to set up a ring light, so it's not an option to me anyway. Like he's like, come on, you know what? Like he doesn't, he doesn't have that like kind of,

but you're right. I always listen to stories about your husbands and our husbands are actually very similar. You're like, I have a pain in his ass, my husband. Well, first of all, the whole reason I thought he would be good for me is because he does and likes everything I hate. Right.

So he does all the finances, the taxes. His P2, yeah. All that stuff. He knows how to fix shit, okay? He knows like where that breaker or whatever is. He knows how to do all the apps on the TV and all the remotes. I mean, these are things I'm telling you.

He's like, what would you do? I'm like, I would have to hire someone to live here. Me too. It would be a gray garden situation for me if I wasn't married. I'd be homeless at best if my husband didn't take of like filling out forms. I said that in our vows I mentioned that he fills out forms because you do need one person to fill out the forms However that more in my experience the more type a person which my husband runs a real

Military style ship around the house is always going to be upset because you don't do those things. So it's good and bad You know what? I'm always in trouble with him. Well, these are the things we have in common, okay? Now, the Costco love for Costco. Oh my God, he loves Costco so much more than me. But I love going to Costco with him because if I buy stuff without him, he always is like, why would you get this?

Why did you do this? Why did you do this? And so then I'm like, if we go together though, then I'm like, all right, what about this new lounge chair for the backyard? Anything he brings home, I don't care. But it's like, I don't know how to, you know, like, very similar, you know, I went to go get something done with my car. And, and then he's like, why is this guy calling us? I go, because you weren't there and I felt like to get it fixed was too expensive and so now they're just going to get me a new one.

And he's like, what? And I go, I don't know. I just said, well, that seems like a lot to get the checkup. I'm like, what about, and they're like, you know, you're only six months off of the lease, would you like us to talk to you about getting a new car? And I was like, yeah, I mean, I need my husband to be here, but I'm like, that's, but I'm like, I would have just,

like, I would just got a new car. I would have just been like, sure, I'll just get a new car then. Like, but I'm like, but then I'm like, but I wasn't gonna do it without you because I knew you had to look and do the math of the miles and all that shit. This is the funniest thing.

To make it worth it. That you bring up cars because, okay, cars are a big point of contention with us because I'm car dumb. I can't find a car in parking lots. I don't care about cars. When he discusses cars, I fall into sort of a low grade depression.

I can't, you know, like my husband, when we got a car, he researches things. He wants to get to the bottom of things. I've always known that I'm never going to get to the bottom of it. I mock things. That's what I do. I make fun of them and then I'm out. So he was trying to figure out cars. And then he chooses the car that we're going to get and then does exhaustive research.

And then he got so annoyed because I didn't remember what kind of car we had. So then we finally get it. And he's like, let me just ask you one question. Do you know what kind of car we have? And I was like, Toyota Corolla. He's like, no, we got a Mazda. And he was so angry. He's like, how can you not know?

And I'm like, I don't know, I just don't know. But to him, nothing excites my husband more than being able to tell me somebody else got the same kind of car we have. He'll be like, hey, the Finnegans got a Mazda. You know, like that to him is a the Finnegan's got a Mustang. You know, like that to him is a finished story. It's got a person in it, something happened to them.

That's it. And if I want him to connect to me, I have to go to Costco with him because he loves nothing more than grocery shopping. Like I could tell him, like I came home the other day, there was a fireman in my kitchen, I don't wanna say who, but a firefighter in front of my husband's in the kitchen, and I was like, they'd been in there for hours, right?

And the guy leaves, and I'm sure women have told this story before, like some version has happened. I was like, hey, so, you know, how's he doing? We'll call him John, how's John? He's like, oh, he's really good, he got this car, whatever. I'm like, oh, great, he's like, I think he's gonna get a Mazda too.

And he's like, I think he's really definitely gonna get a Mazda. Then I walk him out, I go, oh, so you're getting the Mazda? He goes, yeah, well great, he's like, I think he's gonna get a Mazda too. And he's like, I think he's really definitely gonna get a Mazda. Then I walk him out, I go, oh, so you're getting the Mazda. He goes, yeah, well, my wife left me, so I figured it'd be a nice time to get it. I was like, your wife left you, oh my God. And I was like, do you wanna come for dinner? We'll do something like, we knew them for a while.

And I was like, Pete, did John tell you his wife left me? He goes, nah, he never mentioned that, you know. They'd been there for like four hours, hanging out all day, never mentioned it. And I go, nah, you never mentioned that. They'd been there for like four hours, hanging out all day, never mentioned it. And I go, Pete, you gotta call him. His wife just left him. And he's like, yeah, you know, I should do that. And he's like, maybe I'll ask about the Mazda or something.

Never called him. And if he did, he definitely only asked him about his engine or something. Well, I did have a bit like that in my act, but it was about golf. Oh, so sorry, just stole Heather's job. No, no, it was about golf though. Like, you'd go out and golf for like, you know,

four hours, whatever. And I'm like, who'd you golf with? And it would be like three guys and one was Joe or whatever. And I go, okay, what's going on with Joe and the divorce? Like, what is happening? Like, this is like a lot of juicy shit. Like the woman had a drug addiction, like she was fucking her trainer.

Like there was a lot that went on, okay? And he's like, oh, we're not gonna talk about that kind of stuff. I'm like, for four and a half hours, you're not talking about the fact that he's getting a divorce and is all this shit is going on. And I'm like, but here's the thing.

I can't really. You bring home no juice for me, but if I go out with my girlfriend, the next day he's like, okay, but here's the thing. I can't really. You bring home no juice for me. But if I go out with my girlfriends the next day, he's like, okay, so what's going on? Really? Yeah, like, oh, what did they say? Oh, what's happening there? And I'm like, so you want the juice,

but you're not willing to bring it yourself. Like you're bringing literally nothing to the table. You're gone for seven hours. And you have like no scoop or it's like half it's like half bits of scoop. Yes, yes. Like it's not. That's every piece of information Pete gives me like that is like that.

It's always like a piece of something. I'm like wait but what do you mean why? Like I didn't find out that he was engaged before he was married or we got married until like one of his like relatives told me. Like nobody tells me anything and then when I asked Pete I get like a third of the story You know, I'm like, you know tell me you're engaged you're like everything everything is like that where I'm like, wait what? Yeah, and I have to get there's always like a team of like women his family and writers that I have to pull together to try To understand what happened. Yeah

There's always like a writer's assistant that could tell me all the notes that were taken and what actually occurred in Pete's life. Yeah Completely. So when you started doing stand-up, so that you had your boyfriend, you were like just the girl with the band, and you guys lived together in New York? Yes, and then he just kept dumping me and re-dumping me. I wouldn't take the dump because I just couldn't.

I was like, where will I ever be without him? I just needed to. Did you have any kind of little job or anything? You're only 18 years old. I had a job at this place called Fat Shoes and Clothes on Broadway. I was fired. Fat shoes?

It was like a sneakers, like P-H-A-T, Fat Shoes and Clothes. I was fired in like four hours. I thought it was like a big and tall, but for people who had fat feet. And it was like, what are you talking about? It does sound like that. No, it was like, I thought it was like a Beastie Boy, because I worked there. I thought it was so cool. I was like, I thought it was like a Beastie Boy because I worked there.

I thought it was so cool. I was like, oh, I've got a job at Broadway. I just kept getting fired from like waitressing jobs and different things, but I was trying to stay in New York and, and he kept dumping me and redumping me. And then finally the last dump, you can only be dumped so many times. How would he dump you? I'd be like eating a bagel in the kitchen and then I thought we were like having a softer moment.

He's like, so about this relationship. But I'm like, no, no, no, no. I gotta stay with you, cause you're gonna be a star. I just like, I was just. You loved the music? The music was terrible. I loved him.

I just wanted to get home to myself. You know, like I was just sitting there swaying, pretending I liked the music. I was like, if I was smarter, I'd be into this. Like, you know, it was like, it was like thrashing hardcore. But I was just like, okay, you know, I need to pretend. I just like thought he was cool. He was in a band.

I was very, I wasn't that smart, you know? Like I just thought it was really cool. And I was just swaying and waiting for him to pay attention to me again. And then at the end, he kind of lifted my chin up and then redumped me. Okay, so then after, so then you started doing stand up. Then I started doing stand up.

I moved in with this family that I met in the Greyhound. Finally, he just like. You were on a bus? I used to go back and forth. So after I took the final dump took, first my dad picked me up in like the Feinstein grocery getter, like some sedan. And I repacked all my things into it when he dumped me.

Oh, it was a dark day. We were packing our stuff into your dad's station wagon. Oof. And at this point, you're only like, what, 19 or something? Yeah. OK. And then I ended up deciding that I would go back and forth to New York on the weekends.

So I started taking an acting class in New York. It was a private coach, and it was Florence Winston. And she was a private coach and it was Florence Winston. And she was a marvelous acting coach. And she would talk about the decisions you make as an actress and what's vulgar and what's beautiful and real. And so I found her because I was working at some other store on Broadway.

This actress came in and she was like, I was like, I want to be, I don't know what I said at that point, a comedic actress or something. And she was like, you have to learn the classics first. You should go to my coach. And then I go to her coach, Florence Winston. And she would say, you want to do comedy? Let me see one of your impressions.

And then she would just listen like this. And now that's vulgar. There's a vulgarity to it. How old was this woman? She was, she died, I think, before she started coaching me. She was already dead. She was older than, she died I think before she started coaching me. She was already dead. She was older than shit. She was so old and she had a big bowler hat

and she would just sort of look underneath and yeah. But like whenever I made a bad choice, she'd be like, that's foul. That was a foul choice. There was a vulgarity to it. Do it again, be more truthful. And then she would wait and like, ah. She was all I had, you know, like I was just,

that was my connection to New York was Florence Winston. Okay. Florence Winston said, you must not move back to the suburbs. It would be a vulgar choice at this point in your life. You have to stay here. This fella, Dick's sister, no, he's not good. It's not good.

Keep coming back, become more truthful. I would write a letter when I wanted back, become more truthful. I would write a letter when I wanted an audition, she says, I would write a letter to the director because I thought the business was foul and it was vulgar. So I would put on a lovely dress and I would write a letter and deliver it to the offices by and bring a fucking cake probably. She probably, what if it all loops back to Patty Stanger's advice? It's a fair bones. Fair bones. And so I just kept going back on the weekends because Florence Winston was so strict and

she said it would be vulgar if I moved back to Bethesda. So I just kept coming up in the weekends and I found a friend that had moved to New York and I stayed with him on the weekends and I would take my acting classes and study my theater and it would be study great plays. She would say you need an education. You have to have some sort of education. So we would study a great play and then we would play a piece of music and it would be study great plays. She would say, you need an education. You have to have some sort of education. So we would study a great play and then we would play a piece of music and we would analyze it.

And I would always be like a half an hour late. I was in the shames cycle with Florence and she would be like, it's disgusting. And I would lose something or leave a debit card there or just, I was a mess, you know? So slowly I sort of learned to discipline myself a little bit, you know? And I just kept coming back to Florence.

And then finally I listened to her and she was like, rent a room, find a way to live in New York. And I was on the Greyhound going back to Florence and I met a Bengali lady who shared her little bagel with me and then she invited me to live with her family in Queens. And so I moved in with my Bengali family. Of course, my mom loved it.

A person that's not white that I'm gonna live with, she had no follow-up questions. She was like terrific. Do you have your own room? I had a room, my mom loved it. A person that's not white that I'm going to live with. She had no follow-up questions. She was like terrific. Do you have your own room? I had a room, my own room. I remember it was such a mess, because I was such a mess, that there was just like, you could barely walk in it, you know?

And I remember her coming in one day, and she was like, Rachel, this room. She was like, how do you not dream of snakes and serpents every night with a room like this? How do you not dream of snakes and serpents? I still think about that. I'm like, I don't know. How did you live with these people?

Like, I was like a member of their family. I wore their saris and I went to all their weddings with them and that was just my Bengali family, you know? Like, and my mom loved it. She was like, it's terrific. She didn't really need- So you had free rent for how long? Like you didn't pay?

I think I paid like 300 bucks a month. Okay. Yeah, it was pretty cheap. And, but I ate with them and you know, and I... Did you ever like go out and spend the night at a guy's house and then she'd worry about you? Like a regular mom? Yes, she was like my mom.

Yeah, she would yell at me. She tried to get me jobs too. She tried to get me a job selling vitamins with her Vitamix or something or Vita. I was fired immediately. She was like, Rachel, sell! You have to learn to sell in this life. She was very mad.

I was always losing their keys. I was a mess. But she wanted me to be back home. And she took care of me. I mean, she really did. If it wasn't for my Bengali family, I would not have stayed in New York, for sure. But I didn't have friends yet.

So I just didn't know anybody. I wasn't in college. I only hung out with this, like, I was 22. I was hanging out with this 46 year old married Bengali woman, you know? Her kids were going off to school, that was it, that's all I had, her kids were going off to college and sometimes they'd bring me to Bengali weddings

and stuff like that, but it wasn't really enough of a social life that I was gonna meet somebody. I dated a Bengali man that was maybe 22 years older than me with the saddest dates, I just remember us sitting in contact, that movie, I mean, I couldn't think of anything to say to Mamoon. I just remember us sitting and like contact that movie I mean I couldn't think of anything to say to my moon I was kind of a gold digger too because like he could get me dinner, but he didn't have that much money He worked like Kodak so I was just meeting me Kodak and then we were just like just like a one-hour photo

Yeah, he works like one hour photo That's like if a tree falls in a forest. Are you digging gold? If the guy only makes like $8 an hour at the time. I'm not sure, but he had enough money to get me dinner. So we would go and we would watch like contacts and yeah, maybe he'd put his hand on my thigh and then I would go back home again. Like just rocking with loneliness.

Dua Lipa. You know, when I play my music to people who I really respect or look up to, then I hear my songs in a different perspective. Cardi B. I know what it feels like when you feel like everybody turned your back and like, don't ever think it's because you did something wrong. Harry Styles.

I feel like I'm falling more and more in love with making music each time I get to do it. You know these artists for their songs, videos, and epic performances. But they have so many stories beyond their fame. That's what we're here to share with you on the Spout Podcast. We sit down with some of the biggest names in music. And along the way, our guests reveal stories that even their biggest fans may have never heard before. Check out the Spout Podcast to hear famous people

spout off about more than what they're famous for. And find out who's spouting off next. Wherever you get your podcasts. than what they're famous for and find out who's spotting off next wherever you get your podcasts. And so, okay, so when you once you started doing stand up, then yeah, sorry, no, no, when you started doing stand up and it started to get going, like how far along into doing it? Did you start to I know you're you I've done a lot and worked with Amy Schumer and you guys have done a lot of things together and then you had a lot of things on your own

and like when did it start to like pop for you a little bit? Where you're like okay, this is a real thing that I can see a real career from. The thing when I started to be able to finally quit my day job and I was a very late, late, late bloomer. So if you're doing anything, keep doing it. Because I feel like I've just been doing standup forever.

But I was a nanny and I got on that show, Last Comic Standing. Oh, you did that, what season were you? Season seven, I believe. Yeah, season seven. Okay, I don't, I don't. Yeah. I remember Amy, I remember the first one,

I remember when Eliza was on. It was like Tommy John again was on it and I made it to the top five. Was this one of the last seasons? I feel like it didn't go on. It didn't go on, it was one of the last seasons. Okay, so tell me what happened. So I made it to the top five in last Comic Standing.

So I was like the last woman on the show. And this season they were not living in a house together. Were you living in a house together? No, thank God. A lot of times they made you go in like a boat or something. I don't have to go in a ship or anything. Okay, but this time you were not living there. I think before my season, it was like the ship season, so I wasn't on a boat. I could still keep my handy job.

And then I just like went out and I did got to be the last woman. So I was made it into like the top five in last comic standing. And I was the last broad on the show. So that enabled me to, and that level of exposure on NBC. I think that was 2010. And then I'm not sure, but I think it was about 2010. And then that enabled me to quit my day job. I started headlining, because I was opening for anybody

at that point. Right. I started headlining because I was opening for anybody at that point. I started showing up. The way I started stand up was just doing open mics. And that enabled me to, and I started featuring. But when I was featuring, I was staying at like $46 hotels, like holes in the sheets, just like wherever I could, nannying, featuring, and then going back to my job. And what was your dating life during those years? You know, it was like I'd meet a guy.

I would like him a little too much the way I do. And then he would kind of get a kick out of me. And then it was like, wait, you're going to be in Des Moines on New Year's? Like, hmm. Then he would meet a woman who didn't have to be in Des Moines on New Year's, you know? The other thing I was thinking about

is I was watching Travis Kelsey at Taylor Swift again, and he's like, like dancing and everything, dancing and all that. And I'm like, here's the thing. They can't go to our show for 18 nights in a row. Yeah, they can't. It's different than singing, just like a girl rocking like same thing with many alike, even though it's easier for a guy to hook a woman, she still doesn't want to go and see his stand up every night. She doesn't. She doesn't. So it's not it cannot.

It's not feasible. It's not the same as musicians what we do. No, no. And there's again, there's a real supply and demand issue. A lot of guys that they, you give a list that number one thing is not funny. So, but I'll tell you that. Yeah, it's low on there. But my, I think like a lot of guys, they got a kick out of it at first.

And then, then I remember one guy took me to dinner and he was like, you're not gonna do standup for the rest of your life. I think it's funny that he took me to dinner first. Cause like, I kind of thought he was gonna propose and then he was just like hey how about you ditch that career. Wait, so you're dating him for a while? Mm-hmm. And he took you to dinner to say and he really said I think you should stop doing this. Was this before Last Comic? Let me try to think of that

exactly when this was. No this was after Last Comic Standing. Oh so you already have like a career going on? Yeah I had a career. I had a career. And how did he say it? He said, he's like, you're not gonna do stand up for the rest of your life, are you? You know, and I was like, yeah. And that was kind of the end. And he was able to say to me, which I do respect,

that he's like, I don't like your job. Like, he was just like, I want you. But I think it's a little rude to be like, stop doing it. I wouldn't do that, you know? But he was basically just like, I want you, but I think it's a little rude to be like, stop doing it. I wouldn't do that, you know? But he was basically just like, this is, this is too much. But, but I also think it's a little bit arrogant to think that he thought I would be like, well, let me get rid of that for you. You know, like he really thought that this would be the dinner was going to end pleasantly, that I would say, oh, the stand up.

Well, then I won't do it anymore. And let's go home and I'll put out." You know, like he really thought. I always think if I would have met somebody before really getting into it, or that was like the frat guy, because I was like the sorority girl, and I liked the normie frat life type of guy with the nice parents, and we have the house in Newport Beach. I sometimes think if I would have met somebody like that, like if I would have fallen in love in college, I think I would have gone on to like get married and never do this and be like extremely frustrated. Anytime I saw someone do it or whatever.

And I'd probably just be a real housewife on OC. Yeah, you could do that. whatever. And I'd probably just be a real housewife on OC. Yeah, you could do that. That's what I'm talking about. Anyway, because I would have been like, Oh my God, here's an opportunity to skip all these steps and just be famous. Honestly, now this sounds so much better than what I have to do. Oh my God, this is great. I'll get like a bottle thrown to me at Tampa. Yeah, yeah. But it no luckily nobody liked me in college. I didn't have any serious boyfriends or whatever. It's kind of how it was too for me before I started getting into it.

And then once I found it, I was like, oh, well I'm never giving this up. Yeah. But I knew, I looked back at like certain guys, I'm like, there's no way this guy from this Pasadena family, where they go to the Jonathan Club and this, all that would have been okay with me doing the belly room at 26 years old on a Friday night when there's like a charity

event like there's just it would have never worked. It all worked out the right way. And then with my husband, he just I found out later years later that he told his sister that he said, I think I'm going to marry this girl. She's just so fun. Really? Oh,'s just so fun. Really? Oh, that's so sweet.

Yeah. Well, I would have been nice to have, I would have liked to have heard that at the time. I know I'm jealous because I've never even heard him say those things about people always like your husband. I know. They always say your husband really loves you. I'm like, he never said to me.

Oh my God. That's what everyone says to me. I literally everywhere I go, they go, wow, your husband. And I'm like, wait, do you know which one is my husband? Because we kind of go by different last names. So I'm like, oh, maybe there's a John McDonald or something, because my husband's name is Tobias. And I mean, I have Tobias on my license,

but I go by McDonald. And then they're like, no, we know Peter. And he just brags about it. I was like, who? That's what they claim. It's funny, my husband's name is Pete too. But I'll be like, do I look okay? And my husband goes, there you go.

Like that's his answer. I'm like, that's not an answer. I'll be like, I made a video once for him. And it was for him of like our life and me being pregnant and COVID and having the baby. And it was like this lovely video of him being on the job and all we'd gone through to have this kid and I gave it to him and and my friend was like he's gonna cry like this will be the thing that make like he's gonna cry and

he was like solid like that's all he said it just walked out of the room like that not gonna hear it from him but I don't know maybe they maybe there's a reason they can't say it to us but I don't hear it from him. This is what my advice is after 24 years, May 27th, 24 years. Wow. You just have to get the love in other ways. Yeah, that's what I do. And that's why I fuck guys on the road. No, I'm just kidding.

You just have to give head in Des Moines. No, I think you just have to recognize that that's not the love language. No, that's not his style. That's not his love language. It's just not his style. And it's like, you can beg for it and ask for it, but it's like, yeah, I don't get,

wow, that dress is banging, you look hot. I never, ever hear that. No. And I wonder if it's because they know that we do get accolades in so many other ways. Maybe that is part of it. From other people. Like he knows that I know that I can look good when I'm all done up.

Yeah. I put it, I post it, and everyone else tells me I look good. And then, you know, I do stand up. That's funny you say that, yeah. I'm kind of like, maybe he doesn't feel like I need it. That's what Pete always says. He's like, but they told you you did, right? Like they told you you did a good job.

Like I'll show him a special. And I'm like, did you think that was good? Well, what would the audience say? Did they like it, right? Like he just always defers back to whatever the masses say. But like, I think that, yeah, I think it's not their love language. But if I go to, if I want my husband to do something

or be nice to me, I go to Costco with him or go grocery shopping. He wants to talk about what I bought at Costco. He would so much rather talk about, you know, this thing that we got. Did you enjoy this? He wants to talk about like frozen salmon. He wants to talk about shrimp from BJ's.

Like that's what he wants to talk about. That or lawn mowers. I had got him a book about sheds. How could there be a book about sheds? What could, how much can you say? He sat on the toilet and read that for days and he treated me better after that. I gave him a book about sheds and he face raked me.

He's like, thanks, that means a lot. It really does. You're supposed to talk about property, his property. That's it. But that's how he connects. So he empties the dishwasher. There's a lot of women that would love a husband and empties a dishwasher.

I feel like the dishwasher is like a serving tray and like you can just pluck whatever you need. My dishwasher wasn't working and I had to call him. And I'm like, I'm FaceTiming, I'm like, I'm pressing it. And it's just the same thing. I was like, it's so funny. Okay, so after Last Comic Standing, so then things start popping, the guy breaks up with you.

When, what else, what were some other like monumental moments in your career? So then he, yeah, so he dumps me. Last Comic Standing, I do know that I was eliminated from Last Comic Standing, which was really devastating. Cause I didn't expect it to happen that night. You know Last Comic Standing, which was really devastating. Oh yeah, explain that. I didn't expect it to happen that night. You know when you're a little cocky in the show,

I don't know if you've been on a reality show, but I was kind of like. I've never been on a reality show. Thank God for you, thank God. I did try out for Last Comic Standing. Really? Right when I, Last Comic Standing is what got me back into standup.

Really? I started to watch it. I'd done standup from 23, well, no, yeah, no, no, sorry. Like 21, 22, right out of college. When I started, and I also did Groundlings, and I had a couple of pilots and things like that. And then I got a deal for my own show. And I remember my agent or manager at the time said,

maybe don't do standup right now in LA, because if you bomb, it's gonna look like, why the fuck did they give her this deal? And I really never bombed. I really, I mean, not to say, I just really always kind of like did decently. Like I always had a plan. I always started out with the tried and true,

maybe something in the middle, but I never like lost my way, whatever. So I was kind of like, all right, fine, I'll be lazy, I won't do it. So then when the thing didn't go, then I just kinda was like, I live in Woodland Hills, comedy story's so far away, I still wasn't a regular. And I honestly was like, well now I have to write

a whole new act, because it's all about dating and now I'm married. So I just kinda stopped doing it. and then after I had my second child I have a stepdaughter, but I had two boys. So after I had the three kids I was like I Really think I should like talk about this now Like this is really funny stuff that I'm observing and give you a lot of material and and it was last coming standing that made Me like want to do it again So then I got a little bit act together

and I was able to go get an audition and Aunt was the person. Wow. Aunt was the judge. Interesting. And he told me that I stole his joke. What? Yes.

I tried out at the LA Improv and my joke was, I was watching something like this. I was watching Oprah and she says incredible women on the show and they, you know, lose all the baby weight within 10 days of giving birth, keep the spotless house, always keep up with all the scrapbooking. That's to tell you how old the joke is when you people scrapbook. And I'm watching it going, why is Crystal Meth getting such a bad rap? That was the joke. And it was really because they had an episode

of crystal meth moms. And H woman that said she was suffering from crystal meth addiction was saying some of the results were like curbing up all night cleaning and stuff. And I really thought, God, I wish I had a desire to clean and be organized. So that's where the joke came from. So then when he said, I'm going to stop you right

there. That's my joke. And I'm like, first of all, first of all, why would you do the joke to them on purpose? I just did that to Heather. Everybody knows that it wasn't on purpose that you just saying a similar thought. And then, yeah, like if it really was your joke, you wouldn't say it to the person. And I go, and it wasn't, and even our thing was different, it was different, whatever, but it was saying. Yeah, it's just a similar thought, right. It's a similar thought.

And he wanted to like, yeah, that's not nice. And I go, I remember just standing there, like kind of shaking, like I couldn't even get the mic back on the, and I was pretty new to getting back into stand-up, so I was like, first of all, I've never seen your act, and I was pretty new to getting back into stand-up. So I was like, first of all, I've never seen your act, and I know the origin of where the joke, there literally is an episode.

Like, I just, because I was accused of stealing a Star 69 joke by somebody else years ago. Do you remember Star 69? You called someone back? Again, a very common premise, okay? Yes, I had a joke like that too, almost the same joke. You can come up with very similar things. Because it's those easy one-liners

that aren't specific to your own life. To your own life, right. Which was the lesson to write about your own life. Write about your own life. I know the Tinder joke might be the one that everyone laughs at the hardest, but everybody has a Tinder joke. You know what I mean?

Like it's like, but anyway, so that was it. I didn't make it. And, but he did write me years later and apologize. He was going through AA and he's like, Wow. Somehow the story got back to him and. Oh, that's nice that he acknowledged it. That's pretty cool.

That's good. Yeah, cause I would feel bad about that too, to call you out. Like that's cool though, that he was able to say. But I totally thought I was gonna get picked I thought I'm gonna be the mom that came back from doing stand-up and done it. Okay, so go back to your thing So you're at so I was on last comic standing and then when each night when you're when they do the elimination rounds They say comics please step forward and then I said to Tommy John again

Wouldn't it be funny if when we step forward, because it's a serious reality moment, we do a shimmy? And then he agreed to do a shimmy. And I was like, which dance is funnier? This dance if we do it when we're told to step forward or a shimmy? And we decided I think that a shimmy would be the best choice for both of us. And we could get in unison that way. So they were like, comics, please step forward. And I shimmied, okay, and then was immediately eliminated. So half my texts were like, that was so sad. They robbed you. And the rest of them were like, what dance were you doing?

Did you just do a shimmy? And I'm like, yes, I shimmied. Obviously I was getting a little cocky and I didn't think I was going anywhere. So I was shimmying up a storm. And it was so dumb to be at that moment eliminated mid shimmy. So I was like, and then they were like,

hey, you have to get the hell out of here. And I was like, God damn it. And then I went to the green room, which was trailer. And I remember I was wearing this dress that I really liked that they lent me. And I was trying to sneak out set in the dress. And I think they said Barry Cass to like remind me that I needed to give the dress back. was trying to sneak out set in the dress. And I think they sent Barry Cass to remind me that I needed to give the dress back.

He's like, they really need the dress. And I was like, all right. I've tried to take clothes from this. Yeah, I put a big jacket over it. I was treating it like it was supermarket sweeps. I was just throwing everything I could on the way out in the back. I was like, I gotta get it all.

And they asked for everything back. And that is really my, that is my out in the back. I was like, I gotta get it all. And they asked for everything back. And that is really my, that is my career in a nutshell. We need the dress back. We'd like you to leave the building and please don't use the vending machines up front. Like I don't just get told to leave. I usually get scolded a few times on my way out. And that is kind of how it goes down for me.

Yeah. I always knew that a deal wasn't going or they didn't want me or something wasn't going any further. When they were so insistent and asked me over and over again, is my parking covered? Do you have, did you get your parking validated?

Did you get your parking, I'm like, what does it matter? I'm gonna get this show. I'm gonna be a star, yeah, get off my dick. There's no parking. Are you making $100,000 an episode? Like, relax. I'm like, I wanna be get this show. I'm gonna be a star. Yeah, get off my dick. And I'm gonna- There's no parking. We're making $100,000 an episode like, relax! I'm like, I wanna be in the pictures.

Yeah. I know. Yeah, that's how you know. And then also, what was the other thing that I would- one time I was out here in an audition and I accidentally- I was supposed to be a serious role. I was in the middle of the monologue and all of a sudden this lady's dog started sniffing my vag. It was like the dog in my crotch. I'm like, there's no way I'm gonna get this

if this dog is like eating me out mid-audition. Also, fuck it. What, don't bring your dog in audition, all right? It's not cute. I was supposed to be crying. I worked on crying and I'm finally crying in this lady's office and this is the moment that fucking your dog has to

eat me out it's not good the dog started going down on me I'm like nobody's gonna after that it was it I was like like pushing the dog away from my vag and I was like forget it then I accidentally took a the bathroom key with me that was so embarrassing and then like home yeah and did they call you did they have to call your agent your agent had to call you? Yes. For just a regular audition or were you close to getting it? I think after the dogs started going down on me that I wasn't going to get it anyway.

Oh, this was on the same audition. You were so aroused that you were like on a high from an orgasm that you took the bathroom key home. To make it clear, he wasn't really going down on me. He just had his face in my crotch, and that's what it looked like. Very distracting. I need people to know. But I think, I believe it was the same audition.

It might be smearing these two profound rejections into one. Either way, neither people wanted me, and one of them wanted their bathroom key back. And they wanted it back pretty badly. I think it was the same place, but they had a big piece of bark on the, it was like one of those like earthy looking bathroom keys. So not only did I accidentally take this bitch's bathroom key.

It was huge. It was huge. So she had every right to be furious at me. Like we made it big enough so that people did not take it with them. Yes, that was the whole point of that. I took like a piece of driftwood with a key on it. It was more... And then, like, my manager called me and he was like,

she was also confused about, like, why you would have taken the first place. And I'm like, she's like, cause they said that it was really big. I'm like, can we not have this conversation? The point is I did. And these aren't the conversations I pay you to have. Okay, I'm looking, I pulled up this other photo

cause this is like a really cute dress, and you have hot pink heels. Is this your other special from before? This is only a whores wear purple, and I always feel like I dress like, dress like a, I don't know, like a whore in like a real estate, like a real estate agent porn or something here,

but I'm glad you think it's okay. I feel like it's a little crazy. I wanna talk a little bit about female comics and what we wear because it is, it has been, I have never liked what I've worn on stage. No matter what I put on, then I come home, I think I did a great set, I think I did great meet and greet,

and then I look and I'll see that someone took a photo like from the audience, like at the end of the night. And I'm like. Yeah. Cause we're trying to take care of so many things at once. So like you need to be respected, but you want people to think you're hot or at least attract or fuckable at least.

And then we go into the comment section, or at least I do, and I'm trying not to anymore. I had to give birth to get out of the comment section. Like, cause it's just like, there's not that many hours in a day. And then some guy puts in the comments, your arms look fatter than last week. And I'm like, someone's tracking my arm fat.

Then I have to get a blazer like this so they can't keep tracking my arm fat. So it just goes on and on and on. You know, it's like, and it's such a weird balance and I have not figured it out. I tend to dress like very corporate, but look at me, I have like a 49 or what is this? Yeah, we have a shirt to look relatable. I tend to dress like very corporate. But look at me, I have like a 49er, what is this? Yeah, we have a shirt to look relatable.

I can't even name a player. Like what a dumb hole I am that I'm wearing. I just called myself a dumb hole. Yeah, like I can't even name a player. I got this at Forever 21. Oh my God. But we're trying. My last guest bought his shirt at Forever 21 too.

Really? They do have some good shirts there by the way. So, okay, my outfit history is, My last guest bought his shirt at Forever 21 too. Really? They do have some good shirts there, by the way. So, okay, my outfit history is right away I was always like wearing, like the first time I ever did it, I had like a black pantsuit with like palazzo pants and like a little blazer and it was fitted. Cute look. And it was cute, but like I was 22 or 23 like, why was I dressing like an executive? But I thought all female comics were always dressing more conservative.

So then, I never ever thought I should wear a skirt because I thought, like, my legs would be, like, distracting. And now, just— Because you have a hot body. Yeah, you need to cover yourself up. You gotta tarp it up. You can't- But now I'm kind of bummed

because now I'm coming to the end of my time here to look hot. And I just now started to wear skirts on stage, just now. In both my specials, I wore jeans. Really? And I'm like, and I saw like, you know, I'm like, wow, Nikki Glaser dresses so hot and you dress hot and Amy wears dresses

and Allie wears dresses, and Allie wears dresses, and I'm like, why was I not wearing dresses? Yeah, I guess for me, but you're also very- And even Hannah Berner dresses up, she wears like sparkly stuff. Yeah, she does, she has a cool style. And I'm like, why the fuck am I,

why am I just wearing like jeans and a wedge, and like an average top that still doesn't look good on stage. Well, personally for me, it's confusing. So I don't know how to dress. I look at Hannah Berner and has some really cute outfits. I'm like, she can kind of, she can pull it off. She kind of rocks it.

Yeah, she rocks it. She's got a good, but I don't have, personally, I tend to run very corporate because I don't have like a good style. So I always look like the outfit, like some woman's wearing when she's about to fire you or something. And you all, it's like, I'm the fun loving girl that's getting fired.

Come on guys. But I need people to help me. Like I need somebody to tell me what to do. I don't know how to put it together. I see an outfit and I try to mimic it and it just looks suspicious. Even with necklaces, like I don't know the layer, they're always kind of mangled.

And I've just come to terms with the fact that I need to delegate. Otherwise I'm gonna be wearing a 49er shirt. I have an idea for my outfit for a new four shows at the Comedy Works in Denver. Your nails look really cute. Thank you. And I have a new idea for an outfit.

What is it? I don't know if I should announce it or not. Well, can I just say that when you said Palazzo pants, I was like, she's had a sister because I don't even know what that is. Like you're Well, can I just say that when you said Palazzo pants, I was like, she's had a sister because I don't even know what that is. Like you're five steps ahead of me. It's like a wider leg.

It's like a wide leg trouser. But you know the words. You know more than I do. Like I don't even know what that is. Like I would, I mean, look at me. What the fuck? Come on. So I thought about it.

I came from Lakita, which is like a three hour drive this morning. So I was like thinking about outfits. And I'm like, I think I got it. We'll see. Now it's two shows, so I have to wear it around a more comfortable shoe. So I have these boots that aren't, they're not flat, but they're not high

and they're pretty comfortable, okay? So then I wanna wear, show the leg, but I bought very sheer black nylons, which I haven't worn in 30 years. But I think it's time I start to bring back some nylons, I think, even though, you know. And then it's like a really cute, Alison Olivia black, like romper shorts.

Ooh, that is cute. With like a little collar and sleeve and detail and. That's very cute. I have a romper. So I think that could maybe work. I think the point is you have to be able to... I have a few rompers. I think rompers are very cute. The name for the item of clothing sounds a little silly,

but it's very functional. And also, you can blaze a romper. Tell me if I'm wrong. You can put a blazer over a romper. You always have... We always need a cloak in case female comics. We need to be able to cloak ourselves really fast. Right. And also, you might start with a blazer over a romper. You always, we always need a cloak in case female comics. We need to be able to cloak ourselves really fast. Right, and also you might start with the blazer, but you gotta, you gotta be okay with the blazer coming off

because you might get really hot. Yes. So you don't want like, you know, a top that's too tight. Now you've like a squirt of fat coming out or whatever, like, so then you have to think about the underlayer. So much, and I'm like, guys don't have to think about this. Squirt of fat is the best phrase I've ever heard, by the way. That's cool. I'm taking that. Speaking of stealing, have to think about this. Squirt of fat is the best phrase I've ever heard, by the way.

That's cool, I'm taking that. Speaking of stealing, I will be taking that. And speaking of the winter of my life, I'm taking that to the end. Squirt of fat, and I love that you just breeze past it. It's exceptional. I mean, I usually measure fat in different, it's more of like a Jew's whisper, just a tiny bit.

I'm a Jew, I could say that, but it's more of a tiny bit of, I would say, Jew's whisper of fat. But squirt of fat is terrific. Anyway, sorry. Let's get let's refocus. So anyway, so I like that you like wore dress. What did you wear for your this special that's coming out on May 21? Is this one is you wearing a pink dress?

I'm wearing a red top and this is Cynthia Raleigh. And then she put me in like a black cargo skirt. So she updated my my choices. So, you know, so she took a cargo skirt. A cargo skirt is like it's like a skirt with a bigger pockets on it. Like, yeah, like cargo pants, cargo pants. Yeah. But in a skirt form.

So I feel like she like updated me a little bit. Like she took like some of my more slovenly impulses and she's a dream line them, which is what I feel like she like updated me a little bit. Like she took like some of my more slovenly impulses and she's to dream line them, which is what I feel like they used to do. I remember that show, like what not to wear or whatever. Yeah, like I need people to work with. Like I tend to run a little whole- Remember that lady show, like that strip of gray hair?

It was very aggressive, but she was very good. What happened to her? I don't know where Stacey London is these days. I would, but I need, by the way, that's the kind of woman I need in my life. I need somebody that's like, uh-uh, here's what we're doing, nothing else. Well, you've got to definitely, like, shop for your bod. Because, like, I was with my sister and we were at Saks and there were these silk cargo jogger pants cream with a long,

like a longer cream silk blazer and then a little bralette top. Now that outfit is the worst for my body ever. But that, if you have like a good stomach and like tinier tits, that is a great standup outfit. That is pretty cute. So I'm putting it out there for my other female stand-ups that have tiny tits and a flat tummy. That's the look that you should get.

It won't work for me. No, I can't go braless. It's a mess. It will not work for me. Yeah. So you have your daughter three and a half years ago. Yes, I have a daughter. And when you were pregnant, did you think, here's a new hour, she's going to give me

so much material, or did you just think I'm happy to be a mother? I was unprepared for how funny it is. I was really unprepared for how funny it is. I was worried about all the practical aspects. I was like, well, I'd be able to do this. What if I do that? What if I lose this? I didn't think about how funny it was going to be. So that was a delightful surprise because you have a kid and they just like walk into your room and say things. It's hilarious. Like it's still whenever I see her like bend around a corner, I'm like, this is so funny. She's like three and a kid and they just like walk into your room and say things, it's hilarious. Like it's still, whenever I see her like bend around a corner, I'm like, this is so funny. She's like three and a half and she comes in

with demands and stuff. She's a little condescending, it's hilarious. Like in the middle of the night, this is how my daughter wakes me up. She goes, oh, that's cute, what's that? Like, cause she wants to get in the bed. She kind of like works me. And I'm like, you don't think like a black scrunchie is cute.

Like she'll be like, I like that, you know? And then she's already climbing in the bed. It's just funny. Like she's like a little. What's her name? Her name's Frankie. So Frankie just, yeah, she's funny. Like she, and I don't think I was really aware

of how hysterical and also because when you're a parent you have to do a lot of things that you hate and that makes for good stand-up So the thing with stand-up is like you it's like this bin that we place everything that you know Doesn't make sense or that makes us angry and you have to put a lot of things in that bin And then your bed is full because of your apparent you're always doing something I mean, you know and out of your element. I just remember one time my stepdaughter was like This is like years ago like 10 years ago, so she's 24 now, so yeah, she's like 14, 13.

And she says to my son, she's like, don't worry, she's mad now, but in two weeks it'll be in her act. And I was like, oh my God. That is our lives, you know, and it's true, and then it's like, oh well, two weeks it'll be good. He's right, I mean, he's completely right. The thing with my, like now, and it's true. And then it's like, oh, well, two weeks, it'll be good. He's right. I mean, he's completely right.

The thing with my, like, now that my husband's a chief, I talk about this a lot in the special, like I'm always at like an FDNY, like Staten Island dinner dance, you know, and I'm always like, oh my God, we have to go to another like FDNY function, and then you're just gonna glare at me like I'm about to say twat the whole time.

I'm always like in trouble with him. He's always in his like, class A's looking at me, like, can you for one moment behave yourself? I'm gonna tell you. But like, do the other like, fireman wives, are they kind of like fanning out? Do they like enjoy that, oh my God, we follow you now and you're so funny

and we like you or- I think finally just now, I don't think people knew what I did and I wasn't really well known enough at all. So I was always like out in Staten Island and like, I would tell them, like, you know, like somebody would be like, oh, I met a Jewish person once or something, and I'd be like, I'm a comedian too.

There wasn't a lot of crossover until recently, but now that I talk about being married to a firefighter, it's almost like this special was my way to get my husband to pay more attention to what I do. So the whole crowd at the audience in my special was all FDNY. I mean, amazing. So it whole crowd at the audience in my special was all like FDNY. I mean, amazing.

So it was like a ton of firefighters. I think it's so like genius marriage choice. I mean, for the material it is pretty good. For the material, it's really great. It's really relatable. It's salt of the earth. Who doesn't love a fireman? And they're loyal too.

Like everywhere I am on the road now, it's like half firefighter families and they come out. And so now that I'm talking about what he does and the world, now they're into it and people will ask me questions about it. But the first two seasons of being just the chief's wife or whatever, now it kind of, it was like nobody knew who I was.

They just probably thought I was a little bit vulgar and jarring. I was just like, Pete's, they had to be nice to him because he's their captain. Right. Yeah, so it's a little bit vulgar and jarring. I was just like, Pete's, they had to be nice to him because he's their captain. Right. Yeah, so it's a little tricky too, because he's the captain, so now he's a chief. But when I started dating him, he was the captain.

And we would go out in bars, and I would take his phone and text everybody at the firehouse, like dumb shit, just to make him laugh. I'd be like, I'm thinking about you. I kind of hit on some of the people that he was their boss. And then later on, I'd be like, he wouldn't do anything about you. I kind of like hit on some of the people that he was their boss. And then later on I'd be like, he wouldn't do anything about it. That's how funny he is.

He would just put it back in his pocket. Meanwhile, I just like hit on half his firehouse. I'd later on be like, oh, that was me. Pete's not gay or whatever. They don't even call him Pete, they call him Kip. Is that his last name? No, it's Captain. So they call him Kip.

So I'd be like, oh, it's Cap's wife. Yeah, so they try to show respect. But it's fun, because I'm kind of in this position where I can say some nonsense. But I still can then go hide under the cover of people. Have you ever talked about or said anything that was a problem to him or his family on stage, where you're like, OK, I won't do that bit again,

or got back to them or anything. It's a ticking time, Ron, before that happens. You know, like, it's not, has there been that one big thing? No. But I will say this. The firefighters can take a fucking joke, and they're not woke, and they don't care what you say, and they're a good crowd.

So that is the major benefit to being with a firefighter. I feel like on top of all the obvious safety and that he is a technical hero, but it's, I don't know why I said it in that voice, but I'm a twat. But I mean, there's all the obvious benefits, but in terms of our two careers going together, they get a kick out of it.

And I think like, they can take a joke. They're firefighters. People stop and thank them all day. You know, like they love their jobs. And that's the one, that's the other thing that does work about the two combined careers is that like, he's super ambitious. They did like article in Bloomberg

about like the happiest workers in America and like firefighters are up there. I don't know if they run the tightest ship, like emotionally, like that's more like, that's like a whole other thing, being married to a first responder, which is like what a lot of what I talk about in the special too, but they love their jobs

and they can get, and they get a kick out of like, they need to laugh, they need a release. Yeah. So in that way it works. I mean, it is a really interesting combination. Cause I mean, I think about first responders a lot and I'm like, oh my God, or even like FBI or anybody that's like invests like a heinous crime or whatever I'm like look at their job and then look at mine I know you're like

you're well I'm such a dick face we were going to on our honeymoon I was like we're going to Bora Bora which she bought through Costco of course so we're on our way to Borobora yeah he loves he bought through Costco, of course. So we're on our way to Bora Bora. Costco travel. Yeah, he loves, he's like Costco travel. That's what you do. I've gotten a lot of jewelry from Costco. They do have good jewelry. This gold necklace is from Costco.

Wow, that's pretty cute. It's 18 karat gold and it might still be there. It's solid gold, so I never have to take it off and it's in the $500 range. And I have, I've gotten earrings, I have a diamond necklace. My friends had to get, that he should get the diamond, my engagement ring from Costco, because Pete wanted to,

and at first I told him not to, but now I kind of regret it, because like, my friend was like, they got good diamonds, you should have told them to go to Costco. It's solid, it's solid. Solid. And, and, and,

I just saw a really funny bit, like on TikTok or whatever, where this woman surprised her husband at Costco for a surprise party, where they were just going to Costco for something, and she told all of his friends to go there at that time and shop. So like, and she's filming it,

so every aisle he goes to, he's like, "'Hey, buddy, hey!' And then finally he's like, "'Wait, what the fuck is going on?' Like, everyone I know and care about happens to be at Costco at the exact same time. And then they went and got like Costco hot dogs and like had a party.

And now, yeah, that's because that's his love language. It's shared activities and it's Costco. And by the way, you know, if you want to meet a fireman, a lot of people say go by the firehouse with a car seat, go to the grocery store. They're always in grocery stores because they all go grocery shopping. One of my favorite true crimes,

I mean, it's sad because someone died in it, this woman, but this woman got a job at Costco giving out samples and this hot young firefighter, his job was to go to Costco to get all the food. And they started having an affair. And then the young firefighter ended up killing her husband and she went to prison for it. But I don't think she had anything to do with it.

It's the secrets of Silver Lake. Keith Morrison, it's one of my favorites. And she's still in prison today. Oh, and you don't think she did it? No, I think she was really, really dumb. And I think because she was blonde and a woman and married, I don't think any, I don't think her defense attorney ever thought to have her IQ tested.

And the other reason I don't think that she did it is because the night that he- Is it really good excuse that you didn't wear it? I'm too dumb to have done that. But also she was a mom of two kids, like 10 and 12 or something, or 10 and eight. And the murder happened the day before the first day of school.

And I said no mom would choose the day before the first day of school. That is a really stressful day. You had to try to fit in a murder. It's really not a good idea. That's not. That's like too tight. You would not do it that day.

No, that's when you're running around getting like folders and stuff. And yeah, no, there's too big of a list. I'm telling you, I don't think she knew. No, she was getting like a frozen backpack or something. She couldn't have done it. I know I'm busy the day before I go to school like that. It's my favorite date line,

cause it also involves, they were kind of swingers. I'm really into it, this is all I watch. It's called Secrets of Silver Lake. It's one of my favorites. This is all I watch and listen to is crime stuff. Because it involves firemen, Costco, free samples, swinging, a lake, summer. I love the fact that it calls Costco especially.

Yeah. And he was kind of hot, and she was hot. Yeah. And I love crime stuff. Like tan. I don't know what it says about me, but I can't go to sleep until I've seen a wise with knives, a few wise with knives back to back.

Yeah, I love it. I like it a lot too. Did you ever try to do SNL because you do such good characters? I did. I sent my tape into SNL a bunch of different times and I tried so hard to get on SNL and have them audition me.

I never made it to the auditioning point. This was years ago. So I don't know, I haven't watched my tapes, maybe they weren't that great. But I gave it a good shot, I did. And I do think, like, at this point, maybe I would love to do more things on some sort of sketch show. There's so many now, but maybe do something

where I could use my characters in more of like a talk soupy kind of style. That could be fun for me. Like where I could do a little bit of characters, a little bit of running my yap, which we know I'm good at. That's what my husband said I do for a living. He said, I run my yap for a living. He's like, that's what you do, you run your yap.

But yeah, so I would like to do something with characters, but I didn't ever end up having that thing, you know, that one big moment. And this is, it took me a long time, but this is my first hour and it really took me marrying a firefighter to get an hour on Netflix because he gave me, he says the most infuriating things and it's really a fun world.

So between his emotional unavailability and me now being just this loud comic in this world of Staten Island Firewives, I feel like it definitely, you know, you never know what the thing is, but that helped me, at least to get the special on Netflix. Yeah, it's really interesting, you know, just to see sometimes where, you know,

you were always in the zeitgeists, you were always working, you were always ahead, like, you know, and then this thing just is like, oh, wow, yeah, this is the thing that's super related. I'm still waiting for that. I mean, I don't know. This is my hour special. I don't know.

We'll see what people, we'll see if people like it. Who knows? So now we were talking a little before because you were like, you saw my video of Brandon talking about going on the road. He knows how much guilt I have about being gone during their childhood. And there's times where I really was like, I don't know, you know, I mean, I was on Chelsea for eight years. So that was a lot of time. And then when there's opportunities to stand up

on the weekends with her, I never wanted to turn that down. And my husband never made me feel ever not to do it. He never was like- That is what he does too, yeah. Never say that he was always fine taking it, but then I would be like, but I do, I wonder if it did affect them in some way or whatever. So that's why that speech, to have him say that speech

at 18 and know he's going off to college and he is so nice and so great. Yeah, do I think it, would he have been a different kid? Maybe, like, but the final result is great. I think it helped me so much to watch that video. You have to be yourself. It's like that quote, like be yourself, everyone else has already taken.

You have to be yourself, and that's probably what you'd like them to do too. So I feel like so many women must relate to this so much, even if it's not through standup, but I was really struggling this weekend because my husband was supposed to come, he didn't get hurt bad, but like tweaked his neck in a fire.

They put him on medical leave so he can go to some more PT, so he's home with my daughter. So like, but I felt really guilty because I was like gonna have to be away from her on Mother's Day, you know? And I was just horrified by that and have been spending so much time. I was like on the phone sobbing with Rosebud Baker,

who like made me feel like I'm not a war criminal for having to be away this Mother's Day, you know? And she's like, she doesn't even know what Mother's Day is. Like it was her birthday maybe, you know, but like, and I'm sending out her little birthday invites while I'm here and trying to figure it out and get the e-vite. It's two weeks before her birthday and I'm trying to get it right. But like, I feel like that seeing that I saw it at the perfect time, because I was feeling really bad about realizing about a few in the last few weeks that Pete wasn't going to be able to come.

And he'll be back at the firehouse probably within a week, but they have to he has to stay home and do his PT. She has to be with him because I can't rely on some random babysitter. But just like feeling much better about that, like, well, maybe one day this will inspire her to do what she wants to do, you know? And like, he was into it and he got a kick out of it. And people- Yeah, it's very hard. I remember being-

He clearly thought it was so cool. Yeah. And I was like- But also he knew me and he knew what I needed to hear. So that's what I also got. I'm like, you know me so well. You know this is exactly the gist of what I needed to hear. So that's what I also got. I'm like, you know me so well. You know this is exactly the gist of what I wanted. You know, I knew he was gonna speak that day. I was like, I don't care.

It could be the greatest thing or it could be quite simple. I'll be thrilled with whatever, you know, just that he knows that I wanted him to do it. And so it was great. He was the only one that didn't read from anything. Not that the other kids weren't fabulous, but I mean, that is kind of nice that he just got up there. But I remember being at, when the kids were younger,

I agreed to take a gig. Also, that's from me too. They didn't read from anything. Because he's watched you do public speaking your whole life, probably. He went up there, he had confidence. He was enjoying himself. We can teach them how to have fun. I'm sorry, but that's pretty important. Yeah. We can teach them how to have fun, you know.

And but I was I remember there was a Mother's Day that I was doing like three nights or whatever in someplace in Phoenix, whatever. Yeah. And I accepted it way before I even looked on the calendar to see that it was Mother's Day because I could only it was during the Chelsea years that I could only, it was during the Chelsea years, and I could only go, you know, if we had like a break or once in a while, whatever. And I remember seeing the brunch at the hotel and like all the mothers and dressed up and I was just so sad. And it's like, but then to like cry to Peter about it, he's just kind of like, again, he was like, it's fine, but then to like cry to Peter about it, he's just kind of like, again, he was like,

it's fine, who cares? Yeah, he doesn't care at all. Frank, he doesn't care. Yeah, he's like, it's fine, it's okay, the kids are fine. I'm taking the kids, like, why don't you just go like get a massage or something before your show, you know?

Like, and I'm like, yeah. And when the kids were little, I really enjoyed that hotel. Yeah, because I don't sleep, because my daughter wakes me up every night. You don't sleep. When the kids are little, enjoy your work trips, ladies. That's the only time I sleep is at work, because she's in sleep, because my daughter wakes me up every night. You don't sleep when the kids are little. I don't sleep.

Enjoy your work trips, ladies. That's the only time I sleep is at work, because she's in our bed sleeping in between us every single night. Like I said, she rounds around the corner. It's hilarious. And she just comes climbing. And she knows she's getting in the bed. There's no question.

So she sleeps with us every single night. So those are the only few days that I do sleep. But you know, my mom was a workaholic. I mean, she worked a lot. My mom worked too. Yeah, see, we usually are raised by people that love their job that worked a lot. My mom was a workaholic. I mean, she worked a lot. My mom worked too. Yeah, see, we usually are raised by people that love their job that worked a lot. My mom was a social worker.

Like, you know, like everybody, I have plenty of mom issues, but it wasn't about how many hours she worked. Like, I don't remember having any thoughts about that at all. So like, she worked a lot, but it's only about like your connection to her. And right now she's with Frankie. So she's up there helping Pete, and she's with my daughter,

and they were all together on Mother's Day, you know? But, and so it's like, yeah, those, sometimes those holidays, like after this, we're gonna go, I'm gonna come home after I'm done with this press who are leading up to Netflix, and then we're gonna go on a family vacation for a week and do a bunch of other stuff. So he doesn't question it, you know, like when he has to go to work.

So I know a man never is like, oh, my God, I feel so guilty for providing for my family and missing the poetry reading. I'm going to go meet my friends and we're all going to sit around and have wine and cry about all the moments that we missed as working dads. That's never, ever, ever going to happen. You're right. But I've had been at many dinners where I've been with other working moms of all professions

and we've talked about stuff like that. And then I've had moms that are like, I'm so jealous because I didn't pursue a career and now I'm at a little bit of a loss what to do with my life because the kids are getting older. There's just no way to do it. There's no proper way to do it. I feel like I beat myself up no matter what.

And then my aunt who I'm staying with out here, my aunt was like yelling at me. Cause then I started thinking, well, if I can just get Pete, if he goes to his PT, then he could fly the next day and then he could come see me. Right. Like I'm like being such an asshole. Now I'm trying to get my my fireman husband to like fly. Why? So that I'm hours with a bad neck. That's a great idea. Now I'm a complete asshole. Now I've turned to like a really bad mother because he needs to be at home resting and

he needs help. You know, so it's like so like I was talking about this to my aunt. I'm like, if we can just get her here and then you could bring her in. So it's like, I was talking about this to my aunt, I'm like, if we can just get her here, and then you can bring her in, and she's like, you're screaming at everybody, you got a Netflix special coming out, you're being insane. Sleep, you psychopath. Like she's just yelling at me, she's like, no, no. Enjoy the time, like that's like, enjoy.

Take it when it's happening, sleep, she's having fun, she's at Costco with Pete. Yes, mothers enjoy the uninterrupted meals, the hotels, all that stuff, if you are a mom that works outside of the home. Or that has to travel for your job. Just take advantage of those times of just having that downtime

because there's nothing you can do. And I do feel like it makes me go back to her so much better. So if I've had a night of rest and she was like, you're doing this to yourself. You're on like this press tour, like leading up to a Netflix thing and you're trying to get your wife,

I mean your daughter and I said wife, cause I need a wife. You're trying to get your daughter and husband out here. Like he, this craziness. Like, so I think sometimes we do it to ourselves. She doesn't know, like she's, yeah. Like every time I FaceTime her, she's zooming around with like, she just got directions and demands around the house. You know, she wants a certain kind of pop for a birthday. She just stops and looks at me sideways. She goes, she was like, Mommy, I need Princess Peach Super Mario Brothers costume. You know that, right? Like, I'm like, Yeah, all right. I'm not your secretary, but I've got it. Yeah. She's like, Princess Peach for the birthday party. She's like, we're good on that. Okay. And then she just like went off to get a Popsicle. So she doesn't care. Basically you're just her personal assistant.

Pretty much. That's how it feels like. By the way, she hasn't asked me to do stuff by saying, go do this. She goes, you can get that for me. Like I don't have the confidence to get her a bottle. Yeah. But you can get that, right?

Yeah. So they're okay. But that really, I really needed to watch that when I watched it more than you could ever know. Like how much I needed to watch that. Oh, that's so sweet. Thank you. I appreciate that. Because it is hard.

It's hard to, like, and I always feel guilty, and like, you know, every two weeks, I just like cry in a bathroom, and you know, and nobody's juggling it all perfectly, but I feel like as long as they're feeling loved and there's somebody there to get them popsicles and stuff. Yeah. Yeah. So everybody watch Rachel Feinstein's Big Guy special,

May 21, streaming anytime after on Netflix. Tell them, we have your right here, you see it right here on YouTube, but it's Rachel Feinstein score. Rachel Feinstein underscore is my Instagram page. My website is rachel-feinstein.com. I also have a page on Punch Up Live, which is another website I use for my tour tickets.

They're all linked on my Instagram and my Facebook, which is just Rachel Feinstein as well. So go see her live. Yeah, come see me on the road. Yes, thank you.