Juicy Scoop with Heather McDonald - Vanderpump Secrets and Real Housewives History with Guy Branum

Episode Date: May 25, 2023

Don’t blame Ariana for making her money. Who is Tom’s mystery woman? What will Raquel reveal at the reunion? Then the hilarious Guy Branum is back! We analyze Jeff Bezos's engagement and why you can always marry up. Guy finally started watching real housewives and we psycho analyze Kim, Kyle, and Kathy. We cover the truth behind Jill and Bethenny's fallout. We role-play our favorite BH housewives and what they would say to each other if they had only hired us as consultants. Who is the best housewife to watch and who has done the most with the opportunity? Get ready to laugh. I am going on tour! Get tickets at https://heathermcdonald.net/ Get extra juice on Patreon:https://www.patreon.com/juicyscoop/posts https://heathermcdonald.net/ Subscribe on Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@JuicyScoop/featured Follow me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/heathermcdonald/ Follow me on TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@heathermcdonald?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc Follow me on Twitter: https://twitter.com/HeatherMcDonald Follow Guy on Instagram: @guybranum Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Heather McDonald has got the juices scoop. When you're on the road, when you're on the go. Juicy scoop is the show to know. She talks Hollywood tales. Her real life, Mr. Sanctuaryal Data and serial sister. You'll be addicted and addicted fast to the number one tabloid real life podcast. Listen in, listen up. Hand of McDonald.

Shoops. Hello and welcome to juicy scoop. I have another fabulous show with you today. I have a great guest. First, let me just get into some business. I am packing my cute outfits. I'm going to Las Vegas. Here I made the billboard of the Venetian. I

will be there May 27th as you know for my live juicy scoop and I have got to tell you in prepping the show and producing the show I am so excited for this show. It is going to be so hilarious. I have a segment with Justin, another juicy one with Spencer where we're going to talk all the latest on Vanderpump rules there and all the inside scoop he has and then I've got Chris coming on and we are going down some hilarious memory lane stuff and Also great tops. I'm just really excited for the show and if you cannot come to that show in person though There are still tickets available for this fun Memorial Day weekend You can go to Heather McDonald and not net and click on the streamer with Moment House. This is the 3rd time I've done it. Everyone is always very

satisfied with the experience. I was wrong when I said that you only had 72 hours to watch it. You actually have seven days after it becomes available live on May 27th at 8.30 pm. Then you can watch it for seven days and then it's gone forever. And I'm telling you, there's some serious juice that I am saving just for this experience that you will get to be a part of. Again, Heather McTall.net also super juicy Patreon this Friday. All of it will be happening because it'll be all, you know, juicy stuff that's happening in my life in the fun weekend.

Then I get to experience with my favorites, Chris, Justin, and Spencer. Couple little updates on Vanderpump rules. As you know, the tonight's the reunion because I'm recording this Wednesday. You're listening to it Thursday morning so you could be shooketh by now, but I will just fall upon a few things. According to Intel, Kristen says that she believes that Tom got together with Billy Lee, who was once on the show. The Intel is, that is not true.

Also, Tom has been said to have a new influencer girlfriend who kind of looks like Erica Jane. She's blonde. She lives in Austin. And they were seen at a restaurant. They were seen at a restaurant, they were seen shopping. They've also been told just to be that they're just friends.

Also we saw that Arianna moved out of her house. We now know that she wasn't moving out of her house. It was a paid sponsorship for something and she really hasn't moved out of the house. She's also going to be giving out chicken at canes in like Elsa Gundo. Elsa Gundo. And then of course she was on Call of Her Daddy, which was very good and she gave a lot of insight on her side of what was going on. I listened to some of it, but I do think all these things is what she said. I'm, she's going to, as I always say, make the money way you can make it, whether it's selling chicken

wings at canes, doing someone's show, whatever it is, make that money girl so that you can you get out of that house and buy your own. But I think that's what's going on here. And so it don't be mad that you thought she really moved to the house and she didn't you would take the money too. People are saying it's been confirmed. Rakell is not pregnant. We are going to find out not this week. We're probably going to find on the third or the final reunion is when we're really going

to know what is this big secret. Couple of things could be I am pregnant. I was pregnant. I have a drug and alcohol problem that caused me to do this. And the final one, which is many people have speculated, I have just been recently diagnosed that I am on the spectrum for autism asperers, whatever, therefore not getting to understand social cues and that causes my awkwardness and my whatever. All that could be happening. We will soon find out. Also, someone said, hey, was she a fan of Euphoria? Was she? Did she watch that and somehow that got into her brain and she wanted to be

like the Cindy Sweeney character that slept with her best friend's boyfriend Jake. I don't know. I'd be very curious to know. Did she watch the whole sees all every season of Euphoria and how intently was she into that show? I texted China and asked, are you guys fans? I haven't heard back. Very curious about that. Anyway, it's very interesting. I was always interested in Ariana and Tom's relationship. I thought it was weird when they bought a house because she said, I never want to get married. I never have kids. I want to have kids.

He said he wanted to have kids, but then they bought this house. But then she said, we were each other's right or die. We were each other's, if the apocalypse happens, we're gonna have each other till the end. And that is why when they only had sex four times a year, she just thought they were going through a phase, but this was just ebbs and flows.

That was basically the gist of the last interview she did. So there we are. I just wanted to fill you guys in. I know some of you are very sick of talking about this. And you're like, Heather, can you just get back to the fun, juicy scoop? Well, I am because I have a great guest and we are going to get into hot topics as well as his hilarious reactions to watching Housewives for the first time. And you're in love and it's a juicy scoop. Bravo, bravo real housewives history lesson for you all.

Get ready for a great show. And don't forget to go to HeatherMcDonald.net for all the live tickets, my merch, and of course to join my Patreon. Hello and welcome to Juicy Scoop. I have a dear friend of mine, Guy Brannum, writer, showrunner, comedian, actor, model, all of it. But more importantly, by one time, office husband Rumi, office mate at Chelsea lately, welcome back to Juicy Scoop. You've been on two times?

Oh, yes. Over the years, the one good thing out of the writer's strike is that you are available. And? Not only available to come on my show, but available to, for the first time, sit down and watch all the housewives. You're texting me questions. We had one intense moment at the first time, sit down and watch all the housewives. You're texting me questions.

We had one intense moment at the abbey where you asked me a lot. And then you wrote me yesterday and I was like, this is perfect. Come on in. So welcome back. Good to be here. I just, the thing is, I wanted to have an additional thing I could talk to gay guys about. Like during the pandemic, I do a lingered French a bunch. Oh, we also need to disclose being

that it's pride summer that you are, in fact, in OutGay Man. I have an OutGay Man. I'm announcing it officially for the first time here. But I wanted to have another thing to talk to gay guys about. And so I was like, I will watch all of Beverly Hills. I was just like, I will take one franchise, and I will just have it a throw-

That's your Christian service as a gay man. Yes. At a Jew. And it was really compelling, but also while watching it, I just kept thinking back to you, not so much with Beverly Hills, but like my friend Matt Rogers, he very much was like, yeah, I have to just take this momentum and go straight into New York.

And watching the first season of New York That was like a time when we were working together and it was also a time when you I just remember you being so excited about OC and just sort of like that world and then when New York started up I watched a little bit and so I had so many questions and also I Love knowing backstory on stuff so I'm constantly googling things during and the number of times that like information reportage was coming out of juicy scoop was like really exciting and like finally yesterday I was just like well I have to

I mean you like googled articles that it was like this person came on juicy scoop and said this. Oh, my heart's a flutter. That's so nice. But I was like, why am I not listening to, I mean, the best thing about being a comedian and listening to podcasts is that you can call or text the person on the podcast afterwards to weigh in with your opinions. And I'm like, why am I not listening to this? And I'm currently in the middle of just being in love with Carol Rads' well. And so she's a real actual friend of mine. So we'll get into those questions. First though, we used to explain to the people very simply. What is the writer's guild strike?

I obviously support it. But I think people have a lot of questions of what it is. And I just want you to explain what the fight's about. So every eight years, there's a big contract that says the minimum things that are going to be provided to people who write for shows that are covered by this. So basically anything that's on real TV, sometimes on like extended cable, e covered, not covered, it depends on the show. But it's things like basic pay,

and more importantly, than anything else, the residuals that you're going to receive. Because, you know, the writers on the first couple of seasons of The Simpsons, those episodes of television have been aired millions of times, and those people received nothing other than... Well, they don't. Nothing. Because at that time,

animation was an included. Yes, that time, animation wasn't included. Yes. Right now, only animation on Fox is covered by the writer's guilt. Just about everything else is. And also because the Simpsons also predicted everything that's ever happened in the world. Yes. So they were psychics that were also writers. Right. And just with the way that the industry has changed and is changing it's like when

we originally when we wrote on e. Yeah. Like something would re-air and then you would get a little check later on because you know. After we became writers killed. After we became writers. Were you part of it? No, I was not. Okay. I told that story. It was a lot of fun pen, pen derelunches yes we did it we got it and then they didn't honor it when the show ended up early they did not honor the six months oh really no he no they walked in and they said you can either stay till August 27th and that'll be your last paycheck even they've been here for seven and a half years or you can leave early and miss out on nineteen grand

and I go what about paying me tell you end of uh... december which would be the six months yeah they said yeah they're not doing it so what are you going to do about it and gen gen Kirkman and i who's gen is on the front line she's a writer and showrunner and she's written on uh... the fabulous what is it

fabulous marvelous miss mazel she and i were both like, should we do this? And I was like, I don't know when I'm gonna see 19 grand again. So I'm gonna take the next couple of months and have fun with it. And they were cool about us leaving on Fridays or whatever. But that was the deal.

So like I've explained why like, even though you have a writer's scale thing, there's a Hulu doc that I have part of that just came out called the Randall scandal about Randall Emmett. And because I'm good friends, became good friends with both of them. He and his ex Lala from Vanderpump. They asked me to be part of it. And also Lala's featured in that doc coming out as a guest on juicy scoop. And he wrote this show. He got writers from writer's

guilt to write, did the arc of, you know, seven seasons of a show called Pump. That was going to be about Arnold Schwarzenegger and his rise to building in the sevenies and Venice. And they did the whole seven seasons of like, this is what it's going to be. And then for whatever reason Arnold was all excited but that Arnold switched and you know how this could be from one big agency to another and the whole thing fell apart. And then he's just like, well sorry, I'm not paying you the writer's deal money. So then writer's guilt being you know, fought him and now there's a judgment. Yeah. And he's still refusing to pay it. But that's the kind of shit. One of the big things that happens, yeah.

The things that are happening right now is with streaming, they're not paying us for residuals in the way that would reflect like success or failure. There's this thing called mini-rooms, which is getting people before a show is officially picked up to write up a bunch of episodes. Which would have been like this pump thing. Exactly.

And then turning around and saying, oops, we're not gonna do that. And then the other big thing is sort of defining this space that AI can take in this stuff. Right. Because there's gonna be a real temptation when it comes to like, you know, award show intros or something like that

to just have a computer do them because it's cheaper than a person. And so that's why we're on strike. That's perfect explanation and thank you and we are 100% behind you obviously. But in the meantime, we get to enjoy you here. Real quick before we end all the housewife stuff because we have, this is real housewife history coming later on, but I want to cover some hot topics.

Jeff Bezos is also in love and engaged to Lauren Sanchez. To give you guys a little history, Jeff has a small company called Amazon. Lauren is a very pretty girl that was like, I knew her because I was friends with Jillian Barbary who was the star of the morning LA show. Then Lauren started to be on it a lot and she was a host and this and that.

Jillian, a great broadcaster. Yes, and a great person. So she, Lauren, she was featured a lot. She was pretty. She was a host on things. She had NFL husband she has one child with divorced him then married this I think it was a William Morris agent they have two kids that are 15 16 and they were social

friends with Jeff and Jeff's wife and then they fell in love look then Jeff gets divorced she gets divorced now they're together and now they are engaged. I'm, I want more of my friends to tell me stories about property settlements from divorces. I love a juicy property settlement, and it makes me angry that nobody ever has this information for me. I think this is like exciting,

and I think she's smart to get a good, nice, solid prenup. I think a good, nice, solid prenup. I think a good, nice, solid prenup with a guy who's coming into the marriage, that rich. He has, I think it's like a, he's worth like 139 billion. Yes. And the latest article we read was how much would she get in a possible divorce? 38.

She, they're speculating that if she was to get divorced based on just stock and stuff She could probably walk away with 38 billion herself But I think it's really easy for him to hide that money on paper It's really easy for him to get divorced at a point in time when his paper value has gone down So if he's at 138 now and then there comes a point in time when Amazon I mean Amazon stock is pretty bad right now I mean she needs to like she needs to buy low and sell high

if she's gonna try to, you know, marry Jeff Bezos without a prenup. But I think in a situation like that, where they have access to a lot of lawyers, going in with nice documents that say she gets 60 million if she leaves, that's safe. I mean, I don't know. I mean, I think that they are in love since they got together.

He got like on what's that stuff, the H. He got on something. H-G-H, yeah. And that kind of beefed him out. Yeah. Made him a little less nerdy. Meanwhile, his wife, who also walked away with so much money, she married a teacher and she ended up divorcing him

after two years. So it's hard to find a good guy. I mean, but the thing is, is like, you need to understand and she ended up divorcing him after two years. So it's hard to find a good guy. I mean, but the thing is, is like, you need to understand when this is your third, like bite at the apple, you're not gonna get first wife money, you know? Like, but listen, like, I think they are a good couple.

I think they're in love with each other. I love that she's 53. She's super fit. Has she had some work done yet? Who the fuck hasn't, myself included. She's 53. She's super fed. How she had some work done. Yeah. Who the fuck has it? Myself included. She's 53. She's got a good body and I think they're very happy together. And Drake was, why would he get married? And I go, why not? Yeah. It's not like even if she took a chunk of money from him, it would not affect him taking a private plane, getting on his huge yacht, having homes everywhere.

Like there's not one thing on this earth that he can't purchase, whether he gets divorced from her or not. So why not make a commitment to someone that you really are in love with and you enjoy as you enter your golden years? Well, also there's just sort of like that social elements that I understand so much better now after eight seasons of Real Housewives of New York of having that person and that partner and people knowing who is accompanying you. I feel like that is really soothing to straight people. Yeah.

That's still there for us. Yes. Can we have one thing? No, listen, I just want to say she has two kids that are 15 and 16. I will be curious to see where they end up in college. Oh, that's very funny. Because I mean, I know, you know, Lori Lothling got in trouble,

and as my kids, you know, I tell, told my kids right off the bat, you know, you're not going to any of the schools that I got into, okay? So, yes. I'm gonna tell you a great story. Yes. There was a billionaire finance guy in New York

and they did an article about him like 10 years ago because he had given essentially, he gave like $20 million to five of the IVs and MIT to like hedge his bets on his children. Yes, and? And then the daughter who, and then like, oh, and then at the Mindy project, we had this intern. We had never had an intern before, but we had an intern who came and just sat in our offices for a summer. And then at the end, she gave Mindy a perfect

scale model of Mindy Lahiri's office from the show. How cool. I know. And then left, and we were like, what's that deal? Is she an architect? No, she is this billionaire's daughter. Okay, so she was just able to do that. Yes.

And now she writes for the tonight show. That is, wait, that's literally so funny, because remember in that, in this show, that Mindela was in, the movie that Mindela was in about writing. Oh, yes, late night, yeah. Late night, the movie that Minnie was in about writing. Oh, yes. Late night? Yeah.

Late night, there was a lot of elements of that, of like a billionaire connection or whatever. Yeah. I love that. That's amazing. Yeah, all I can offer at school is if you take Brandon, you get a shout out on juicy scoop and I will tag you when I visit the school. Do you think that's going gonna get him into USC? No, but I think it could, you know,

like some smaller liberal arts colleges might be really into it. Like I'm a little excited. Yes, I mean. Yeah, juicy scoop, juicy scoopers who are on any admissions anywhere, DM me, we can have a cute lunch every time I visit. I mean, I would say you could get him into vassar.

You could get branded into vassar. It's too late for Drake. Oh no, he's at ASU and killing it. Okay. Just one more thing before we go on. No, we're still talking about them continuing. This is them on their yacht, $500 million. Would you strongly encourage your 15 year old son

to take Jeff's name? Would you encourage him to be like, oh, I don't think he can. I think they, the dad is no schlep. Okay. The dad is a huge partner at William Morris. Okay. And I think that would be awful. But I know people have done that in the past. Yeah. My friend, um, uh, uh, Tracellus Ross. Yes. Ross is her mother's name, which isn't even her real mother's name. Right. And she had a lovely Jewish father.

Yes. I don't know his last name. Yes. But at a certain point in her 20s in pursuing Hollywood, she became Trace Ellis Ross. Not a bad move. Not a bad move. I don't think the dad minded. She always remained a wonderful relationship with her father as far as when we were close

so yeah whatever works do you do the boys wish that they were drake and Brandon McDonald's uh... do you wish that i would have made you drake mcdonald instead of drake dobias i think it's a key says it won't matter and I think that's great. You know, like I decided that. Do you think Drake

is more likely to go into West Valley real estate or celebrity gossip? That's the question. I think you'll go into fight us, but he was recognized in West Lake the other day at in and out eating with his cousin. And juicy skier per said, are you Heather McDonald's son

Drake? Oh, that's amazing. Is that amazing? Like, I'm not on TV and just seeing just rarely do I even feature him that much. I mean, it's the recognizable kid. It's the unfortunate thing that we need to acknowledge for the WGAs strike as TV just doesn't matter as much anymore. Like, we have good entertainment being made by children at home with cats

So the whole game is changing. I do love I mean I love a nice 53 year old trophy wife. Yeah, and she's no dummy. She's a helicopter pilot. She's a journalist like hey It the the relationship did start a shady. They were couple friends. It's a little van or pump rules. She was friendly with his wife, just like Raquel was friendly with Ariana

and best friends. But in the end, she was probably is doing fine. She fell in love with the teacher, but then they broke up. But I think they have every right to be happy and it seems like the kids all like each other and all that. The reason that the juicy scoopers keep coming back to you is that you are at the end of the day a responsible Catholic sorority girl. And like does the situation like this tell you that you do need to have certain kinds of boundaries with a couple friends. Like do you think that this was a game played poorly or played correctly?

I think she is incredibly good in the sack. And there are certain women and certain men that that is one of their talents. Other people are great cooks. Other people can decorate well. I think that she has gotten three men to marry her. I think she's pretty on the eyes, but I also think she's really good at sex.

Some people are really good at it. Other people are a pillow princess. And that is me. Well, I mean, the thing is, she's got to be bringing a lot to the table because it was just good pussy. I mean, he's Jeff Bezos. If he wanted other better pussy, he could just order it and it would show up within a day because he's probably Amazon Prime.

There are men, yes I agree, and there are that's funny. And there are men that go for the younger chick all the time. But I've said this on my show before, which is really interesting, is that billionaires want other billionaires ex-wives. That's interesting. We're going to getwives. That's interesting. We're gonna get housewives. That's very interesting. Housewives, David Foster went over to

Mohamed Hadid's house and looked at a photo and said, who was that? And he goes, that's Max wife. And he goes, I would like to meet her, do you mind if I'd meet her? And Mohamed was like, no problem. They were so collegial about that. Do you think that's just because he's like,

she knows how to handle herself in these situations? I mean, I think age, like listen, if you look great in your sexy and stuff and now you also have all this stuff in common. Yes. And you know, and you have the same friends. And it's also like, this is this, this other guy had this wonderful wife. Yes. It happens all the time.

And I think too often people think, oh, the guy's just out to, you know, marry a 20-year-old. That happens too. But it's more likely that if you're a woman of a certain, like, don't worry girls that are over 40, over 50. Don't think that you can't also marry up. You absolutely can. Well, also, guys like Bezos get a thrill off of business mergers and acquisitions. Yes.

And when it comes to sex also, he acquires and then merges you know so i'm all for this is their yacht and people said is this which is on the yacht is that her it was that made to look like her and i think it looks a lot like her look at the lips it's like a statue but it has lip filler and and it's it's a little tacky i will and it's a little tacky. I will say it's a little more, maybe. But who cares? I mean, if it makes them happy. I'm all for it. So good luck to them.

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So get on your way to healthier hair one day at a time with shampoos and conditioners that are just your type. Go to the way THEOAI.com and use code juicy for 15% off your entire purchase. That's the way THEOUAI.com code juicy. I also want to mention one thing about you is that I've talked about and I know you don't work on the show anymore, but you did work on the other two. Yes.

On HBO Max, which is the third season. Yes. And I have told people to watch it because it is so, your sense of humor. Yes. It is so fucking funny. It is very gay. It is very entertainment. It is very juicy scoop. It is a your sense of humor. It is so fucking funny. And I- It is very gay, it is very entertainment, it is very juicy scoop.

It is a juicy scoop stream of a comedy. Well, Molly Shannon, it's so funny. The more important thing is, have you had Matt Rogers on juicy scoop yet? No. You guys, I took Heather to see Matt Rogers' Christmas show a couple of years ago. We've tried to make this thing happen.

But like, so much of the stuff, on the season that Matt and I worked on it, just sort of the jobs that you have, we were like an up and coming gay comic in, you know, like a weekly internet show about what Lord Dern's doing or whatever. These were all taken from like jobs that Matt had had, where it was just like a bunch of gay guys and a bunch of women of color eating food and being sassy to each other about it.

And it was really ridiculous and all of it is on the show and I love it. I'm a gay man. It's his friend. Yes. Um, okay. One more now speaking of other rich men, Jeffrey Epstein allegedly, I guess, well, it's not allegedly. They have emails threatened to expose Bill Gates' affair with this Russian bridge player.

So Bill Gates had an affair. Now he is also divorced and his wife also got a ton of money. And what was weird about when their divorce became public was that he had a like same time next year situation with like a colleague from his like 20s and they would go to this like summer house and she he would spend a month with her every summer while they were having kids and raising kids and the wife was like fine with that. I love when people have an arrangement. I love what Bill Gates version of a slut is. Like Bill Gates's version of sort of like,

bring me the hottest, most athletic woman imaginable is a Russian professional bridge player. He's so funny. And also I just, like, I know what Jeffrey Epstein did was reprehensible. God, he was good at it. So, I always said that I believe he acquired the majority of his billions or millions or whatever, just through simple blackmail.

I think he invited people to these parties and then they'd have these wild parties and I even think a lot of these men, and this is just my opinion, innocently maybe engaged with a blowjob or whatever, thinking the girl was young and hot, but thinking, and then the next morning was like, here's your coffee, and by the way, the girl that gave you a blowjob last night was 17 years old, and here's a video that now give me $5 million. Okay. Now donate to my charity.

You know the origin story of his money with the guy from the limited, don't you? Explain to the people at home. So the man who owns the limited is like an older married guy in Ohio. And when Jeffrey Epstein was like young and kind of hot, he showed up and worked with him. And basically the assumption is that they were a couple, they were a couple. That like Jeffrey Epstein had sex with him

in exchange for being able to steal millions of dollars from him and just sort of relocated and the guy, not wanting to say, oh, this guy I've been having sex with, stole from me just like let it happen. And like that his original damage was sex from money makes me understand why he then turned and became so exploitative in some of the ways. Like the story that Carol told on your interview.

Carol Radswell, yeah. Of like talking to Galein. And then a day later, like Prince Andrew is calling her, it's just like, it makes you understand the process so much better. Of like at no point in time, did Carol Radswell, a like capable professional woman say,

I would love to be trafficked. But then Galein was just sort of like, you should go on a date with President Andrew here. Yes, I've got a hot professional girl who, you know, I mean, an adult woman, but like. Was she just widowed, Carol? Yes, but also legally a princess. Yeah.

Why don't I offer her to Prince Andrew? And it's just like God. Yeah, exactly. And it wasn't all, girls who were not 18 yet and under. It was all, so this girl, this bridge girl, she looks really young in the photos,

but I looked it up and at the time, she was like 30 when she was dating Bill Gates. But so he knew about this situation and this girl had gone to Jeffrey Epstein and asked for him to like finance her education and also this bridge school. And so then he was like, I'm going to expose this affair unless you pay me back the money I gave to her. And so it was like, yeah, this was just one of many things, but technically Bill Gates,

in this scenario, did nothing wrong, but she cheat on his wife who he's now divorced from. Right, and also the larger moral wrongness of that to anyone other than your wife is always a big question. I'm just like, Jeffrey Epstein, what a businessman. You know, he was always fighting answers, but also I would truly love to see what Bill Gates' porn looks like. You know, how many, you know.

A bridge player. Statisticians fingering professional chess players. Who knows? Oh my God, okay. So now let's get into the real housewives history. So you gave me a couple things you wanted to talk about. We grabbed some photos. Uh-huh. This is season three which was

Loon Jill Zaren Bethany Kelly Besseboad Romona and Alex McCord So does any part of you miss Alex's incitement they were just such a weird flavor in those first four seasons Absolutely amazing the fact that they are still striving. Yes, boys are like Mike boys age. Yes, she is odd

She did we see her no, she's in a upcoming She's in the next ultimate girls trip. Oh, really? Yes. The one where Brandy supposedly makes out and grabs Carol Manzo's breasts. Oh. And vagina.

She is in that season that's coming up. If it was anything that like weirded me out about that season that Denise, not Denise, who was the Denise on Beverly Hills, Denise Richards? Denise Richards. Like, they buy shamed her, like, brandy and her so hard. I was like, how can the central scandal of this season be the possibility that some of these women have had sex with each other? Like, everybody grow up and get a little bit cooler.

Though I hate Brandy, let's be clear. Right, well, I mean, that, that we can get in, let's get the Beverly Hills after. Let's just finish, let's stay on this. What did you, one, do you wanna ask me about what struck you about watching this? This was the season that Jill and Bethany friendship ended. Right, I mean, to me, it is the bridge between this season

and what happened here because I was like, it really was to me, it is the bridge between this season and what happened here because I was like It really was to me. It seemed like Jill kind of Learning how the show was working like By this point in time Jill is producing for herself. She's making things happen She's also really seems like the first person in New York to start to understand the game of playing outside press. And she gets a lot of like, flack for that. But more than anything, I like watched it and I was like, oh, Jill overplayed her hand.

I wonder how she feels about it now. Like, well, it also makes me think about the way that like, at Chelsea lately, when things, when success was starting to happen, and we were also happy and we were all in it together, but also you're think about the way that like, at Chelsea lately, when things, when success was starting to happen, and we were also happy and we were all in it together, but also you're constantly jealous of other people and what they're getting, and that energy between Jill and Bethany, and Jill sort of being

mad that she wasn't the 37 year old, and that she wasn't getting to do the jade show and all of that, but then when Bethany comes back, I'm sorry, when Bethany comes back, I'm just like, the thing she needs right now is a Jill Zaren. And the more that I see Bethany in season seven to 11, the more I am like, is this person capable of having a friend?

Like after a whole- Oh, this is amazing. Okay. So you said a lot and I have to just like, That's absolutely absolutely. Though people always say, let your guest talk, Heather, I did the comments. Okay. But first of all, yes, because of our experience at Chelsea lately, where we were, you know, all in

the show and we had, you know, movie deals and a pilot here and a pilot there. We wanted to be featured on the round table. One of my biggest regrets of that time is that I did let jealousy affect me a little bit and thank God I remained friends with everybody. But even with Sarah Colona, like she had a book come out and her book did better than mine and I was like,

happy first, she's crying, I'm number five and I'm like, Heather, be happier, Sarah. Like it was, I could honestly, and I can say that as a woman of my age, that's completely fine now with all my friends beyond succeeding me in every way. Like, I don't care, but it takes a long time to get there. And when you're in this thing, where you think that the one chance you're going to make it in Hollywood is that if your pilot that, you know, with the Chelsea lately, handle

gets taken, that's when I get to be the mom in a sick home, that's, I never, podcasted even exists back then. I really thought this was my chance. I'm getting close to 40, like if this doesn't go, whose turn is it next, who's gonna, who's the Patan gonna be tossed to, so we had all that, which is still the funnest time

of my life, but I look back at I'm like it could have been even more fun and it could have even been more support and I wonder if they look I know I know Jill does I know because I've had so many conversations with her about exactly what you said she thought she said this over and over I thought we'd fight we'd have this this moment on TV and then we would make up. Yeah. And Bethany was no longer willing to make up, but also Bethany was getting her own spin-off

show to have her baby and then had a talk show. Well, I mean, it's like, it's so weird to me that Ramona was able to say perfectly sincerely to Bethany, you're an underdog. Like, you, I mean, when she says that on the Brooklyn Bridge about how she'll probably fuck it up with Jason, it's hilarious. Yeah. But like, they were able to be like,

oh, well, she's the one who doesn't have a husband. She's the one who lives in an apartment. And Bethany was able to seize so much power and success, but that it isn't, that she's not able to come back with grace, makes me feel really, really sad, you know? Yeah. It was, I mean Bethany was always really fun and everything

and they did have a great friendship and also what you said is true. So they were the first, they came on the show, Chelsea came to me and said, you watched this stupid housewives. Yes. What two women would you have on the show to create also came to me and said you watch this stupid housewives yes what to women would you have on the show and i said luand i think i said luand and remona are really funny is what i said

and then she goes well jill and bethany are requesting to come on i go all that's even better go for them i mean because bethany and jill have control of the way that they are funny you know they come on they come on. They come on. Yeah. They have a fun time.

I make friends with both of them. Mm-hmm. Bethany remembers me from groundlings. Oh, that's amazing. And I found her number the weekend before in a book that's like this Bethany, Metta Rebecca's wants to come to a stand-up show. Because I used to call people to come. And I'm like, is this your three-one-one number?

And she's like, holy fuck, I knew I knew from somewhere. So I think we're doing both doing great. I come out to New York to pitch my book idea. I write them both together. And it's like, it's weird. Like, then they're not writing me on the group together. And Jill's like, absolutely, let's get together. And then Bethany's person is like, she writes with a person on there can I do this and the girls I know you're busy and then but if you'd like to have Bethany on zoom on Chelsea which it wasn't zoom at the time Skype. She's doing this other girls talk show the blonde woman. She wrote anyway she was.

Jimmy McCarthy. No she had this other talk show that she's like anyway no one remembers the talk show that she's like Anyway, no one remembers the talk show, but she's a great writer Anyway, she had a talk show that she was always having Bethany on and then that's when I get with Jill And then Jill's like you're gonna see this season. We completely break up We're not friends anymore and then Jill's like and then I go to surprise the girls on this vacation with Bobby's Aaron And I go surprise and there was so awful. I had no idea how horrible they she's telling me all this and I'm sitting outside in this hotel room going and then Jill's like, but you know,

we can talk like this, you know, because it's like we have that thing like I'm Jewish to Catholic but very much alike and we're real friends and I remember she was we're real friends. Jill and we've been re we have remained real friends all these years. Yeah. But you know I think in Bethany's defense Bethany was getting these other opportunities and Jill was like why aren't why when we talked at coffee at nine did you not tell me that you were going over to do this talk show because I turned on the TV at 11 and you were there. And Bethany was like thinking, because if I told you, you'd want me to include you and

we're not in a girl band. Yes. Like, I have my own aspiration. So, I definitely understood Bethany's position. No, like, those sentiments and energies between them reminded me of so much in my own life. Yes. And it made me so sad, like for, for both of them, but also it really made me love, you know,

made me love them. And like, like, Jill was such a great energy. And I do wonder what subsequent seasons would have been like if you had had her there. And like, Durinda kind of comes in and he's sort of like that like sensible mom energy. Right. But I also understand the thing, like as a like fat older gay guy, I do understand the thing

of like looking down at the younger one who gets to be more glamorous and being like, it's sad that that's not me, you know, and like I get Jules, you know. Jules was always just like, I didn't want the talk show. I want. But what I'd like to show up once in a while and Ben on her talk show. Yes.

And had a segment like I thought that's what would be because she got her on the show and because Bobby put food in your mouth. Also, at the same time, there are really interesting mistake thinking that a daytime talk show was the right answer for Bethany was like so interestingly wrong because it is like there is a level of relatability that is required to do that. Kelly Clarkson can go out on that stage every day and every woman in America can look at her and be like, we would be friends. Like she could come over

to my house. She would enjoy the casserole that I made and all of that. Totally. That's not Bethany. Bethany is so funny. Like Bethany is so good with jokes, she's able to skew them perfectly. Like sometimes Jill would try to, like, season three and four try to joke in the same way. And it would be like a little harsh and it would feel and like, Bethany, it's so good. When Bethany comes back and she doesn't want to be friends with anyone and she's also making these very mean jokes. It's like, this doesn't feel nice. Right, exactly. And then she's also crying victim.

Yes, I mean, ugh. But I will say, so I was on her show once or twice, I want to say, of the Bethany talk show. And I remember sitting there, there was like a panel, something. And the topic was, when you receive a gift from your man and you don't like it. And Bethany goes off on, you know what it's like, you see the little Tiffany's blue box and it's not the shape of the diamond that you want. And she's little talking, and she's not talking engagement rings, she's talking like she was talking about the Tiffany blue

box. And I'm like, I, I've never received a Tiffany Blue box. Right. Like what, and I'm looking at this audience and that's what I'm like this show. I remember thinking in my head, this show is not gonna last. This is not relatable. She is a, she was wealthy, her whole life, private schools, all this.

She wants to cry, broke at home, and narcissistic vomit. I'm not debating that, but she's a girl of privilege or whole life. Did she have to work and babysit paracelot? Yeah but she still was never going to be homeless and then she dated Rich guy after Rich guy after Rich guy and then she became Rich on her own and it's just stop and now she's doing middle-class cosplay. She's going to Olive Gardens and testing and talking about oh my god this fucking, are you kidding me?

Like, we can't just stop! It's so sad because she really is so good at so many things. She is so talented. And at the end of the day, I do have sympathy for her because we have both seen in our lives people who can't hold down a relationship, like just even a friendship. And I think that she wants so much, like especially with Jill, like after I learned about her relationship with her mom and both of her dads, I was like, oh, she wanted Jill to be all the mother that she never had.

And, or big sister, whatever. And like nobody can give you that. And Jill being a little bit small in the way that all of us have been small, they turned into a blow up. But like truly, I haven't gotten to her fight with Carol, but I have read extensively about her fight with Carol. And it just again seems like,

oh, you think Carol. I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, The fight with Carol is amazing because Carol really got screwed over. She's spent four and a half seasons, I mean, the thing is that Andy wanted somebody, he was referred to a betany as the narrator of the first three seasons.

And he wanted somebody to come in and be narrator. And Carol was so good and I think Carol's fundamental flaw as a housewife is she thought you could be a housewife without crying. She thought she could cry once when she went and got Anthony's ashes, but like other than that was being fun and breezy and didn't understand that you have to like leave chunks of your soul on the table the way that Ramona can every fucking season. Well also Carol is the I believe the only housewife in history and I've said this to her that because she came with no family or husband, she was the luckiest. Yes. Because she had nothing to break, nothing was broken. She didn't get divorced.

Yes. The kid doesn't, you know, hate her. You know, like all the, everybody else, someone in their family suffers collateral damage because the woman decides to go on the show because she was a single woman in a widow. Like she, you know, could have fun. It was great. And so she became really close to Bethany. And then what happened there is that Bethany wanted now Carol's really great connections in Hollywood.

And there was a time where she's about the outfits. Yeah. The outfits, but also Carol was staying with some very well-connected Hollywood executives wife or widow or something. And Bethany was visiting LA and there was something in which Carol was responding to Bethany, but she never said, hey, come over to this powerful person's house. Hang out all day, exchange numbers, poach the friendship, get a TV deal.

Because Carol didn't do that, and in Carol's defense, she was like, literally my friend was mourning the loss of her husband. So I didn't include Bethany. Bethany took that as you're blowing me off, you're abandoning me, you're not sharing your contact with me. I'm going to destroy you. And then for the next season, Carol was like, why are you mad at it? Like Carol the whole time that Columbian or you know, Carol was like, what is happening?

I'm so confused. Why is she crying in a corner? Why is she making fun of the fact that I got a stylist and I got a new haircut? What the fuck is this then they go to the reunion and one of my favorite parts is that she's there this is one they each this is one they used to have blogs uh-huh and all the women hated writing the blogs what's nice and i was bring back the blogs a i could write them for

the hated writing the blog for the had to write the blogs and so then instead they would go back to the and be like you said in your blog, you said in your blog, and they would rehash that at the reunion. And in the blog, she said, she was ripping on Carol saying like, you're old and you have no job or no career. And then I remember Carol was like, really Bethany? We're age-shaming now. This is ageism.

And what do you mean I don't have a job? We have the same job. We're on-shaming now, this is age-ism. And what do you mean I don't have a job? We have the same job. We're on this show together. Like why do you think you're better than I am? This is a full-time gig. But the whole time Bethany's back, she's constantly pulling rank. She's constantly trying to say she's better than the show.

Like she's always in a situation where she won't hang out with any half of the housewives. And it just, like we get it. You had your own show for three seasons, the fucking scenes where they are back to our piloting, Bethany and Frederick are insufferable. Do you remember that she and... Frederick, Frederick, the realtor has a show.

Yes, and I didn't realize that. And I was like, why are these fucking boring seasons in here? And like, oh, because they weren't trying to. Yeah. To the spin off, which would last in one season. Yes. And my intel was that Friday was like, I will never work with this woman because my real money is being this high and realtor. And she's calling me in a, a snakes with an oil salesman and a snake and all this other stuff over some real estate deal for drama.

He doesn't, he's like, you're defaming me like on this show, like I need to get out. Okay. So the first thing that makes me happy is that you are actual friends with Carol because my fear, because they, they called her boring a couple of times and I was like, would she be low energy? But she just seems like so smart and funny and like, just sort of, you know, who I would be if I were a housewife. Right.

You know, maybe I would be more dramatic, but I have a question for you. I was reading that possibly Luan and that possibly a Viva got paid by the scene and that that was why, particularly with Aviva, that was a motivating factor for why she behaved like she did. But Bethany just did an Instagram live where an Instagram reel where she talked about payment

and she said that some of the house why was you're paid by the scene. Do you know anything about that? Yes, it was one season where Luanne was demoted to a friend. Okay. And instead, a lot of times when that's happened, it's supposedly happened with Heather DeBro.

Heather DeBro said, I'm out. And that's when she left Real Housewives for a few years now, she's back. Karen, oh, Luan was smart enough to say, okay, fine, they're like, you're going to be paid by the scene. Well, Luan had such an interesting life that she actually, the legend, hasn't she made more because they wanted to use her so much more and then the next year she was back holding the apple that was also but with a viva sometimes i don't know because sometimes when you're new

yeah they're like we're gonna just test you out and you're not gonna hold the apple so it might be by the scene i think that's it's different with everybody a viva thinking she could be a housewife and not go on girl strips is offensive to me like it was just Ridiculous. You have analogy or something or a long problem. I mean first she had phobias and then she had asthma. She had moderate to severe asthma. Anyway, this this is all amazing. What are you? Before I go to Beverly Hills? What are you, ask me any questions you have. All right, so my, my first question is just like, who do you think is,

is most capable of the job? Do you think, do you think Sonya, treating it entirely as comedy is like, I mean, Bethany leveraged it really well, but I feel like Sonya's maybe giving us better entertainment

in a way that is long lasting. Luann is always on a roller coaster and it keeps her close to the center at all times. Which of these bitches is best at the job? I actually think Luann is best at the job. She's had stuff happen in her life. She's been honest about it. She's great just being herself. She has great iconic lines. I mean, she's been honest about it. She's great just being herself. She has great

iconic lines. Even though she had, and even though she had an alcohol issue, because I don't even still know if I really believe she's a full-blown alcoholic, but she definitely had trouble sometimes with alcohol. You didn't really see it on the show in a sloppy way like Sonya. And so much of Sonya's like moments were just being wasted. And I kind of feel like that's not really giving talent just being like a sloppy drunk. Yes.

But I do think Sonya is not a mean or manipulative person which makes her forever lovable. Do you hold it against Sonya that she calls herself a comedian? No, I'm okay with all of it. I'm okay with all of it. I'm okay with all of it. She called herself a gay icon, a comedian, a cabaret singer. Also, there's one moment in season eight where she clearly refers to her assistant as the house gay.

And they subtitle it the house guy. And I'm like, no one, no one believes that. All right. Talk me through Luan marrying Tom DeGastino. Why on earth, especially if you're gonna fucking lose the title. Like, and I kind of, if I ever met Luan, want to be a bitch to her about how she does not have the title anymore because she married Tom.

But it's just like, part of it is just like. She has the title just like Queen Latifa has the title. That's what she said. Okay. Still count to Luan. I need to slowuant I would be a bit sure I would be like oh I'm sorry I thought you don't tell you why Mary Tom I loved being a wife to the count I love cooking I love caring I was a nurse and I met Tom and it was a a world-renowned romance and I thought we were it was a World One romance

and I thought we were gonna have this fabulous life together and I was very happy to start that chapter of my life. I think that Luan is the best written comic character on the show. So this is me and Grig with you. Just like if you were writing a script, the whole notion of she's a fancy Countess who cares

about etiquettes. And also like the biggest whore who will throw it all aside if a pretty man walks in front of her. It's, yeah, she is, she is morning and I think, I love her so much. And I all, I hate her so much. I think that what, what I remember she revealed to, like in a conversation is that she, you know, I think she would have put up with an open marriage.

Yeah. Had he not fallen in love and asked to leave? Like, you know. Oh, I didn't know that I'm not there yet. But. Well, he ends up being with this woman, this Ethiopian woman, and then they get divorced. And I remember Bethany being like, you know, they have like an open marriage, whatever. I don't know about an open marriage.

She's coming in princess. Huh? Is she need you to be in princess? I don't know if she was some, some regal thing. But like, you know, and they've, they've continued the last few years to have a really nice relationship. i said you everything you'll get back with the count uh... and she's like the thing is i i i like i wish i wish we could have worked it out like she wouldn't have left

him over stepping out of the marriage like like counts left her for the if you know yes yes and so then it's like she really didn't have a choice like then she was just like okay but she does like being married in a relationship i think the last few years she's also enjoyed being on the road doing her cabaret and like but and and and having many lovers and like leaning into that life which i all so think is great but like i wouldn't be surprised if in the end

like ten years from now the kids Their grandparents and she and the count are like hanging out together babysitting their grandkids I would not be surprised. That's very cute the thing that is most interesting to me about her just comes down to you The phone call on I want to say it with St. Bart's yes When she had sex with the Johnny Depp. And she could speak fluent French. It's bad French. I don't speak anything. I don't speak anything. She does speak fluent French and Italian,

let's always remember. But just that, she does these things. She knows that there are cameras there and then cannot admit that they happened. Or like, in the part where I'm watching now, in some like in some scenes she'll say about the count we had an open marriage and then Beth and he will say did you guys have an open marriage and she's like how dare you

right right exactly yes you know it's so funny but if you are at the end of the day a Carol Radswell who's going to say there's such a hypocrisy there you just have to be like yes it's Luan like there's gonna be hypocrisy there. You just have to be like, yes, it's Luan. There's gonna be hypocrisy there. That's what she does. But I think she is able to maintain friendships. And I do think that she isn't fake about herself. And so I don't know if you know,

but they took all, they took Luan, Ramona, Sonia, Kelly Bessabone, Alex McCord, this girl Kristen Takeman, Enderinda, and they are doing one week back at that house where she screwed the pirate. Oh, really? And they are doing ultimate girls trip there for one week. Wonderful. But they didn't ask Jill. Because Jill said, I want the same pay as the other girls for

if they were going to go back and do a legend thing like a five month filming. And they said they kicked her out just because and they're always calling her so thirsty. She's the only one that's not the hypocrite. She was like, if I don't get paid with the other girls are getting paid, I don't want to do it. So then now they're just doing it for a week. I mean, the thing is, I have no doubt that if Jill had shown up for whatever they offered her, she would have made good television. Of course.

And like a established, established a place back in the franchise, and it makes me a little sad. Sometimes I wonder whether I undervalue myself, but I'm always like, I'd rather have the chance than hold out. But she did Ultimate Girl's trip at Derinda's house. Oh, she did and Derinda

was very cruel to her and Jill doesn't treat anything but Diet Coke and has it for like 15 years and and Derinda drinks Everything else people tell me that it turns real sad with Derinda it does and so it's like she's kind of like You know, I think that was also part of her being like I'm not gonna compromise on this and be put in a position to be up against someone who is cruel and unstable and really mean to me. I am proud of how Catholic, Ramona and Dorinda are.

Like when Dorinda is first being introduced. And Lou Ann is too. She talks about is she? Yeah. But like for Dor like for like, Dorenda, like Dorenda yelling, I made it nice. Is like the most Italian mom energy that I've ever seen, I love it so much.

I cooked, I cleaned, I made it nice. I'll show you guys, you know why Lou Ann? You know, okay, all right. Yeah, she's, she's a good television. Okay, let's get to Beverly Hills Okay, this is the first season and what do you want to say? I just want to say I had only watched the first I watched the first season previously I of course came out of it hating Camille and yeah No Camille is one of the finest friend of the greatest friend of of all time

Best of course the more like her up Fey Res like, we're up, Fey Resnick. Like, I need time, Fey Resnick enters a scene. You're like, oh, shit, just got real. Like, this is going to happen. Like, she's gonna do, throw a bomb and then disappear. And I love her so much. I'm excited that Taylor is back on OC. It is sort of like, you know, bumping somebody down

to the miners. But also, I think she'll be great. And like, I'm glad I watched Beverly Hills first, because I think after the flame throwing of New York, it's light elegance. Yeah, might have seemed like, you know, not that great, but I mean, it's like, Lisa's maybe the best real housewife. She, I would say, if anything, she gets too good at it.

But by the season when she's able to say, you know, the Queen of Diamonds, it's like, your orchestra... The pattern is heavy, dear. Don't try to lift it. Your orchestra didn't think so much that like, it's not as fun as when you have sort of like equal power well that's why i think now people say would she go back to Beverly Hills

i mean she's done so much with van her pump and she is such like the motherly figure yes and you know she was very funny at her speech at the van her pump dog gallop and i went to yes this weekend and yeah could she go back sure i think? Sure. I think anyone can go back. I think anyone can go back. But I think people realize that really Lisa's commitment has always and her real, I think she can be a good girlfriend to someone. But let's like, she, it was always

about her family and her business. As it should be. As should be that that's a realistic thing like she's gots like can so great like there's such a good comedy gain there that it like I haven't watched Vanderpump I like of course it seems amazing I got I want to watch it yeah but just like I don't see the fact that like periodically in my life in West Hollywood like can and jiggy have shown up I'm sure RIP, you know, and like it is just sort of lovely. I don't know. It's truly like that is Kim Richards, Kyle and Kathy's sister who was escaped from West Mountain. I'm sorry, of course I know Kim.

I don't know why it didn't cross the world picture. This is a very old picture. I mean very old picture. Seven years old or something. I mean, okay, the dynamic and that's. Maybe not 17 years old. That's history relationship. God, I want to know more about that mom. Like, she seems like a puzzle. I know everything about her because I've read every book.

But to me, the fundamental damage. Yes. The fundamental damage that Kyle is better at life and better at being a real housewife. But Kim Richards is a better actress. Like, Kim Richards at the end of the day is a real actress. And there were like- I'm gonna say something to you.

Yes. I've said it before and I don't think it really took off. What? I put this and tweeted it out years ago. The dynamic between Kim Richards and Kyle Richards is whatever happened to baby Jay. A hundred percent, a hundred percent. Like you just need a car accident.

No, it's so good. Yes, because Kim Richards is the one that was the real star. Yes. Kathy got married in 18. Kathy was just a model. Kim had all the shows, theanny escape from which amount all the stuff kyle was littler and really and and had been parts after and then they get on the show together and kyle becomes the star the brunette

star and the blonde girl who has drug issues and and alcohol issues i'm writing a letter. And the jealousy. Well, it is amazing. I mean, I'm sure the strength of a marriage is so evident on Beverly Hills in a way that it just isn't on New York that like Lisa and Kyle gained such strength financially, but also just spiritually from having this person who is a partner. Kaffee's best moment is not in seasons 10 or 11 or 12. It is in like season seven or eight

when Kim's daughter comes out with the wedding dress that she has chosen. And her mom's sister is just like, no. And she tries to push back, and neither Kyle nor Kim say a god damn word. And then I forgot whether it is Kimberly or Brooke, but she tries to push back, and Kathy is just like, looks like a cocktail with.

Tristan, it's like, you can never wear that dress. I know, I would, I guess I would be curious if she did try it? Kathy, the manager of Rare Power. Then a couple seasons in, we have the introduction of Brandy Glanville. Okay. We want to talk about that. So Brandy, just basically Brandy Glanville, what is wrong with Brandy Glanville, reminds me of what is wrong with my sister in the way that just like she needs

people to love her so much that she will literally say anything or do anything to try to keep control of it. And it is that sort of like the thing that like irks me but makes Brandy safe is that she she'll bite any hands. Like the fact that there came a moment when she was backed up in a corner with Lisa and then she bit Lisa's hand. Yes.

And it's like she's dangerous. And I'm like Sutton kind of feels, I know that the gazeays love Sutton. I know that sit. Sutton goes to trivia at Tom Tom. But like, why is it Sutton's phone? Oh, you're Sutton. Okay. Yes. Oh, back to Kim. When Kim, Eileen, Eileen was a real good housewife. Yeah. But when Lisa and Lisa Rina and Eileen are trying to talk down to Kim about her drinking and all of that, and Kim is basically like, you are working actors, but you're trash. And I am a drunk who can barely hold it together, but I know I'm a better actor than you are. And it was very funny to me. But Brandi, I just like, she makes me uncomfortable

when she's on camera. Nobody on New York makes me feel uncomfortable in the way that Brandi really does. Yolanda, I thought was boring and I was angry at her, but her raw duchness and her ability to just sort of say like a ridiculous thing to a person, it's what makes Amsterdam possible. Well, she is the reason that there's this saying

that goes around called almond balm. Have you heard about an almond balm? I have heard about an almond balm. That comes from Yolanda. You would know I'm sorry. You were the one who told me about almond balm. Not mom, but I used to say every article in and us weekly, what do I eat in a day would be a handful of almonds as a snack.

My two favorite articles in Women's Magazine are healthy snacks. You can eat it at Christmas party and it's always like instead of a lot, cut, have nine almonds. I've been best genes for your body type. But no, watching her, watching her, like watching her. But she said, I just wanna say,

she said there was a call from Gigi Hadid, who's now a favorite sponsor. So she was right. She was like, you want to be a favorite song? But she's had a couple things. One, she said, you know, she goes, I was like you want to be a favorite song, but she's shut a couple things one she said You know that she goes I don't know I get it. She's like I don't want you playing volleyball with your big wide shoulders You look like a lesbian. Yes, but I do like volleyball. She's like well too bad and the other thing was the girl called

The bomb yes you're on and she's like I don't feel good and she goes Take a take an almond one and shoot up really good for a few minutes spit it out Something like that just to get a little some nutrition because she was always doing these cleanses Yes, lemon cayenne cleanses and you know Hey her daughter her daughter's her models, so her models. Do you think she fundamentally broke them or she taught them a skill? I think she taught them a skill, yes,

but that of course, that has been, you know, found it to not be fun once she had Lyme disease. I mean, I felt really, it was really hard like that situation. He seems terrible. I mean, she did seem really boring, but also like having a hard medical situation is boring. I believe like honestly. I've ever seen the music video that she did for him as she's a stewardess. No. Singing? She did a music video for him where she sings to David Foster.

video for him where she sings to David Foster where I'm like why are you seeing what his former wife Linda to Linda Thompson actually wrote the fucking songs with him okay and was it like Elvis's main girlfriend so she's like I care over the song you can look it up she's wearing like an old-fashioned flight attendant out of private plane and she's singing this song so it's like she tried to be like more this like outgoing actors and she's like well everyone comes around and sings and then when they started to sing like the one song that you could sing on TV amazing grace he was like uh no please i'll stop but like why did Yolanda say yes is the question that is to what to real housewives she clearly kind of was annoyed by it the whole time I do think honestly I don't know if she thought it but it's the only reason her daughter's models oh that's interesting the way she was so I think it was if it was not intentional it really

worked out the way she was so single-minded that like, both of those girls had to be models and Adnan had to be a model. And it's like, I've seen Adnan. But like, having dealt with Aviva, like you feel uncomfortable criticizing. Aviva from New York. Well, just middle, like women who have these chronic health problems, I think it's so easy to dismiss them.

But like, after having seen a Viva, I have so much more sympathy for Yolanda and her life to see. What did you think about when Lisa Rene said, much house and much house by proxy? I think Lisa Rene is real good at the show. I think Lisa Rene is really good. Do you think that Lisa Vanderpump and Kyle essentially put Lisa up to it to actually put that out there on the show that people were suspicious of her limesies being munch houses?

If they did, good for all of them. Like good for it, established like Lisa Rina within the show, but I don't think Lisa Rina needed Lisa Vandropomp to give that tour. I think from the minute Lisa Rina showed up, like Lisa Rina and Eileen, first of all, them showing up and having each other as friends and partners, great. That Eileen loved doing the like comedy portion of it and showed us just how relatable her life was and not glamorous, hilarious, but they both showed up with soap skills. And Lisa Rena was like, I'm, I've spent the last 20 years of my life watching these dumb plotlines. I will introduce dumb plotlines into this show. I love it. I love it. Um, and you know, it's like,

I like when Kim is playing the game. There have been a couple of recent seasons where Kyle as reigning Queen of Beverly Hills, thinks her only job is to have cute moments with Portia. And by the way, at the end of the day, the only housewives I really care about are Portia and what is Ramona's daughter's name? Avery. Avery, they're the most interesting sensible people on any of these shows. Like, I think the best what is Ramona's daughter's name? Avery. Avery.

They are the most interesting sensible people on any of these shows. Like I think the best thing about Ramona is that she was able to raise an Avery. Yeah. But like when Kyle is just doing like comedy and not getting into the fray or when she's just crying, I get very, very tired of it. Yes. I miss Adrian Maloof and the energy of fuck you money like Diana Jenkins brought it in her weird way forget

Okay, let's get into what's going on now. Let's yeah, please Richard's okay. I want to say Kyle this weekend Had her annual white party. Yeah, instead of having it at her in Sino home. She had it at so-fi stadium. Oh at her in scene oh home uh... she had it at so by stadium she the whole place was empty and in the middle of the field they put out a white carpet and a catered tables

a dj dancing and airca jane performed i would i love that that was her super bowl moment i love it and there was people uh... someone wrote me they said they overheard Mauricio Sayon a restaurant. This is going to be the most epic party in housewife history. So I think they're right. I mean, some people said it looked weird that it was, you know, an empty state of I think it was freaking amazing. I wish I was invited. And she had Denise Richards there. Of course, Crystal was there, Garcell, I think was there. Erica performed. Lisa Renett, not there, she's down on the show anymore. Sutton was there,

Dereet was there, and I think they were all there. I don't know that I saw photos of everybody, but... Who do you think had a more acrimonious leave? Lisa or Carol Radswell? I don't know, I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know.

I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know.

I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. you'll care all it cannot come back because Carol said the famous line yes are you afraid of her to now andy uh... and also uh... yourself all of shit

to things are distinctly remembered first season of Beverly Hills you referring to marisa as or kyle with the hot husband and like his hotness as it's gently gotten barrier over time i'd or he's so excited but remains out of the fray so beautifully I do have to say I don't think there's any other housewife that has built the success that Kyle has. It's been the husband's success too. Yes. So so many of these husbands are emasculated get divorced.

Her she emasculated him and he took the opportunity and it came right at the right time He had the foundation of real estate already built his own thing Franchise it with the daughters working in I love watching buying really hills because if I'm doing dishes I hear fairer or Alexia and I think Kyle is on my screen. Oh, I know they sound so much like so I do think I Really think there's there is not a more successful housewife in the sense of family, your daughters are doing great, they have a career. The husband's great, the husband has given so many other people jobs because of the agency. And that they've stayed together and everything. She's always relatable because she's always having falling out with her sister.

Before we go in further, I need to address my favorite, my former favorite housewife of all time, Doreesh Kemsley. And I need to say, she is our first real Jewish Disney princess. Like, she really is. Like, however much she's been out of the central fray since the end of Lucy Lucy Apple juice.

Yes. Still, every cutaway to her outfits, how does she maintain that level of glam and creature? Like does PK make enough money? What's going on there? Because she always looks epic. That is probably the $4 million question. Yeah. And I, it's a lot. You know, she was robbed. Yes. And all these things were taken. Yes. And luckily they had insurance. Luckily they had insurance. Because a lot of things were probably no longer in season. Yes. And then she got new things in season. Yes. Um, I, I, it is just after a trip to London,

where a person, if, you know, they had some things in their bags, uh, that they were no longer in their bags, and then they came back, well, they aren't at the house either. I don't know. I, I needed, there's a lot there. But no, I mean, there's, you know, they own the house, they don't own the house, they own the house, but a small percentage. That's, I mean, the's, you know, they own the house, they don't own the house, they own the house, but as a small percentage, they're selling the house. The reason I am most annoyed that I'm not getting to watch this in real time with you is you real estate talk. No one I know knows something California real estate better than you. Just sort of the house, when they downsize houses and went to Encino, so many thoughts, I want, like, I would respect Garsell more

if she had more outdoor space at her home. I want you to explain to me what her house situation is, but we're running short in time and I- No, no, but getting to Doree, like Doree. Yes. Like the glam, you know what? She does love it. It really is visually fun.

It is part of her identity. Well, and also like, what happened to the Doree Beverly Beach bikinis? That's done. It really is visually fun. It is part of her identity. Well, and also that's sinful as a hurt. Because what happened to the deride Beverly Beach bikinis? That's done. That didn't make it. And I know that these like Louis Vuitton's and everybody, they don't give her these like, you know,

Louis Vuitton leather skirts and jumpsuits and stuff for free. Yeah. I don't know that she can borrow them through like a high stylist or not. I can't believe that they don't because I think I think like it keeps people making that those places relevant and because a lot of times you know people are like I'm over it too many people are wearing it but then you see her wearing it and you're like God it, it is fabulous or, you know, the rat tail braid

that goes down and all of it. It's so good. And so I'm like, but the amount of money that this much costs because the hair and makeup people are going to do it for free, maybe the clothes are barbed, but everyone says they're not. They're not being barred in return. They are being purchased. I don't know what she does with them after.

I don't know if she keeps them, if she resales them at the real, real, I don't know, but that's a full-time job just dressing for this show. But on this subject of husbands and their money when it comes to Beverly Hills. Yes. I need to tell you, the two things, that if I were a real housewife, I would want to say to members of the current housewife

cast, would you like to hear them? Yes. Okay, the first one is and he's all center around erica and tom and you i think erica has been in sufferable yes and i tired of hearing about her yes i would love to say to some stric where do you think christians money came from

like you her ex-husband like you're whining about these victims you think your husband like a billionaire venture capitalist made his money by like giving milk to orphans No, you're only lucky that your getaway car got away like you just got out of the divorce before we figured out what he's done wrong And to crystal cuckung minkoff, so Eric could you could have said that. Let me tell you something, baby. Now we're going to say it what you said. Okay.

Okay, so, so Sutton says to her, Sutton says to her. I just want to know, I just want to know how you morally are dealing with the fact that all of these victims are out there because of things that you profited from. Shut the fuck up! Really Sutton? You don't think that maybe your husband didn't get his money by giving melt cartons to kids that don't have schools?

That's right. Let's just talk about your venture capitalist husband Christian. How do you think he made his millions as you were being invited to the Dolce & Gabbata fashion show? Oh, you're really such a great conversationalist. They wanted you there. Or was it because you bought millions of dollars of clothes? Are you giving those clothes to orphans and widows? I don't think so. Don't fuck with me. I've been buried and I've risen. It's expensive to be me. Okay. You said it better. It's fine. But you like. The second one. I'm very excited to hear it. Prepare your crystal kung-mink off. Okay. Well, she just is a Northridge girl. Okay, so here's what I would say yeah to crystal kung-mink off

I would say did you know that there are 63 Japanese animators who have signed a letter saying that the Lion King was actually stolen from Cartoon that was made in Japan in the 60 Now, while there's no legal basis for this claim, what moral obligation do you have to those animators? Well, my husband was the director. He got a right idea. He stole an idea. He didn't write it.

He stole images. He stole the go look, the look of the animation is the same. Well, I'm not an animator. And you know what? I'm not a fucking lawyer. Ha ha ha ha. That's right, Crystal. You're not an animator.

You're not. And I'm not a fucking lawyer. I was a dancer. I was a stripper. I was the lead waitress at Chasen. And Tom Gerardi waddled in, I thought I was gonna have the greatest life ever. 21 years later, look at me. Look at my life. I mean, she's a great character. How do you feel about Garseon Sutton just

railroading things this last season? I mean, I love Garseon as a person, worked with her a liker every time I see her, I love Garcell as a person, worked with her, I like her. Every time I see her, she could not be born a lightful. She's a dedicated mother, she's a great actress. I think she did great. I think she's held her own. I think she's been classy. I think during the post 2020,

constant racism talk, I think she handled herself absolutely wonderfully based on her point of view of the world. People keep telling me how rough things get when is it Ebony on New York shows up. No one wants to remember that season. Yes, but like also it wasn't fun. Like Garsell to me was a little bit of the energy of like when Lisa and Eileen first showed up.

If somebody who still knows how to do a job. She does have a good job, but also she's like, like she just has some really great expressions where she's just like, okay, you know, and she has to give her, you know, opinion, I think. But I will say about the Eric and Tom thing. Because I've been covering it forever. I'm sure. And I've had a major insider, Kimberly Archie, who's a huge part of one of the cases

and also worked for him and also had... No, when I was researching it, so many of the pieces of information came up with juicy scoop as the source. But as I produce this show and put it out for the people's ears, okay? I, it's interesting. People don't really care about Jeffrey Epstein

and why no one else has been arrested but the only person doing time is Gisley. I would think that's interesting. I think you would want to be more. But when I do stuff like that, people are like, we're over it. I think they're over Erica and Tom and the orphans on the widows I mean as I think they care

But I don't think they're feeding it like they it's like a binge you're bingeing on van her pump You were bingeing on Erica and Tom and now you're like okay. She's skinny She gets to sing her songs again the gays are going back to sear and Vegas. Yes, and It looks like she's never going to really be held responsible for anything that her husband did. And I think a lot of people are like, fuck, I don't know what my husband does.

So like maybe she shouldn't be held responsible. And you go through the nuances and then people go, but this, then this, and this, and this, and this. It's like, I don't think people, like I think we moved on. We moved on from COVID. Like people are just like, ugh, we've moved on from Tiger King.

Like, you know, just move on. So, like, Thunderbury doesn't remember what he did now. Like, it's hard to keep track of it. Like, it just, it doesn't matter. Erica Jane is what she is. I just, I liked her so much better those first two or three seasons that she was on. When she was...

Well, her personality has massively changed. Yeah. And I still don't know that we know who Eric Cajena is. Yeah. Because she was one way, she had a different voice in the early seasons. Yeah. She was like, hey, it's a lot more fun to be rich than polar.

Yeah. Then she had a voice that was much like deeper. And like, I'll tell you something, baby, you know? And now it's like, what are we gonna see this season? Now we're gonna see the resurgence of curbing. I live, I have other stuff going on, I have this guy in Vegas that's like, I'm gonna get to do this show, I get to dance and singing it.

I really didn't think she would dance and singing it because I thought there's no way the fans are gonna go see her. They are. Of course. The way people are saying, no one's gonna go to Tom, and Tom, Tom, or Schwartz isn't standing. see her they are of course like people are saying no one's gonna go to Tom and you know Tom Tom or shortsies and Santa yes they are these love a mess and also Tom Santa Valle's hot they're going back people act

like they're up in arms people go see Louis CK people will go see Kristalia like it doesn't you don't need the whole world to go what you need a couple hundred people to what do you think of waterproof mascara gates? Do you think that that was? I just saw a TikTok that waterproof mascara is awful for you. There's a real lawsuits about it. I don't like waterproof mascara

because it takes about four days for it to come off. And the only time I've done it is like a makeup artist has used it without consulting with me. And I, or I accidentally use it. But yes, I believe that she purposely knew consulting with me and I or I accidentally use it. But what? Yes, I believe that she purposely knew that she was in an emotional state. I don't think she was fake crying.

I just knew that the more thing is not that she did, that she had the waterproof, the non-water proof that scared her and she was a fan of it or did actually wear it. Me personally, like I said, never wear it, tell people not to use it. Don't use the proof glue on my eyelashes But the fact that you feel liquid coming down your face and

Then you wouldn't naturally wipe it tells me that she Planed to garner some sympathy and she needed to do that Okay, except people didn't thought it was fake. All right. I would now like you to turn in just for a brief moment Yes into a coach. Yes. You have. It's called a house by consultant. A house of consultant.

Yes. You have Crystal Kung Minkoff. I have two degrees. You have Crystal Kung Minkoff in a corner. Yeah. She's managed to survive two seasons with just sort of like light friction. I mean, she had an iconic moment with Sutton.

Yeah. But her capacity to generate drama has now been great. What do you? What is her strategy for this season? This is a challenge I might have to give you back your consulting fee. Honestly, it really is. Because Crystal is a complete delight of interviewative talk to her.

She's extremely normal. Yes. Like I said, she's from Northridge. She is not a gaysha. Yeah. Like she met him. Yeah. Young but like 22 or so 21 and she clearly is her own chic. She didn't have these guys. It's like 40 years older than she but they've been together a long time. He's very delightful. Yeah. She's a mom and you know like it's I don't know what she's going to bring this season. I mean, also, you don't want to have people have to fake their life.

She's revealed she's had an eating disorder. She's, you know, she is the first, you know, Asian woman on the show. So we get to see that part of her culture, which I think is really fun. She also has a great business that they don't highlight. She traded the coconut water. Oh, really? That's in Costco really like with like a high school or college friend Why don't we have our money? She has her own business

Oh, that's one they won't share it because they won't give any of it because she created it before Like why not see her like like at least have one meeting about it. Yeah, because I think that's interesting But listen now here's what the strategy is. Yes. Next season, like, the best way to survive as a housewife is to attack and potentially destroy one of the weaker housewives who's been around for a while. The answer is eat, de-reate, or eat Denise. I think that Denise is a harder game

because you have to come, I think if you come at Denise from the right direction, she'll fault. Like there are places where she has a sense of power and places where she doesn't. And I think that there's a lot of, like, there's a lot of spine and Denise Richard's. I mean, that's what's just hard about this job.

Yeah. Because the truth is it's become a place of combat. Yeah. And so they do have to do that to keep their job. I also think someone like Crystal doesn't care. Yes. They don't ask her back. Yeah.

So I say to Crystal, don't, don't go low. Don't go after somebody. And let's say go after you or your marriage or bring up that animation shit, then fucking go after them. But if they don't be young, gorgeous, happily married woman that you are, that's a business woman who's smart, who really came from normal valley means who is also like super thrifty like like don't change her going hard at Doreet would be so fun I can't see it because neither one of them are vicious no that would be weird like they both would feel inauthentic so I say don't do that I know it's just like like Doreet has such a hard and awkward time when people are

coming after her. She doesn't know how to fight back. It looks and they're all nice to me because I had them all on all nice to me and you know and even though I talked a lot of stuff about Eric and Jane either she doesn't know or doesn't care but when I saw her getting off the planet of bravo con she asked about my fall she was perfectly nice oh that's wonderful I am happy that she's back in poor being I am the thing that one of the things I love most about this world is you are someone who means a great deal to me and there has been a journey with our relationship as there always is between sisters I I mean, who are we, if not Kim, Kyle, and Kathy? Just by weight. But knowing in each of these worlds that this is a world,

these are women, I mean, it's the truest Gen X culture. It's the truest Gen X women's culture. And that these are worlds that you can enter into. That's beautiful. And it's so true. And as someone that's their age, that people, that's why I love it. And I love that other fans have found it. I love that gay guys love it as, you know,

and miring women big sisters, but you're right. It's a Jan X, it's my life. And it is also, it's women being business people, it's women being smart. It's defining like women between 30 and 60 as having relationships that matter as much as husband or child. But the fact that you can always go into this world

that I always know, you're friends with Vicki. Like you have a husband who isn't real estate too. And you have your own business and you have two children. And that when you see these people, you see them as people on TV that you talk about, but also as peers. to the extent that like Erica Jane is sort of like I heard about your fall. Are you okay? Yeah. Yeah, so guy

such a delight And I love that you say that I am a sorority girl because I Do identify as that it is part of my history. There's a lot of people that have said they hate that I was in sorority and then I bring it up too much and that they therefore have to stop following me and write a horrible one, restart review. And I just want to say to those people, you don't have to join the sorority. You can hate sororities. I'm going to cover Bama Rush, the HBO Max doc, you know, Sue. Yeah. I might bring it up up my live show in Vegas.

I don't know. But that is something that I lived through, like other people could say. They were marine. And I have a right to talk about it. So I love that you recognize it that it makes me who I am and the good, the bad, the ugly about it. And I just want to say that. You have a strong life philosophy

and you have a strong moral center, which I think isn't the first thing that comes to people's mind when you have somebody who shows up put together and talks about silly gossip shows and stuff like that. But I think that it's the reason that you are good at analyzing these things is because you come at it from an earnest place of like, how do I behave with the people in my life? What a beautiful way to end.

Guy Brannum, tell everybody where they can follow you and get your incredible wisdom on life. Well they can't get my wisdom, but Platonic on Apple Plus comes out today. This is the entirety of my press junket. I'm only a recurring. That's amazing. Yes. It's Rose Byrne and Seth Rogan and it was written and directed by Francesca Zobanco and Nick Stolar who co-wrote and directed Bros. And so it's about basically a guy gets divorced and his former platonic female best friend who hated his wife, like hits him up and is like, they start hanging out again.

And then she, a woman in her 40s, sort of starts going through her midlife crisis and like going back to who she was when she was in her 20s. Ooh, I love this. And her husband is played by Luke the Hock guy from Brose. Love. And I play his work husbands. is played by Luke the hot guy from Bros. Love. And I play his work husbands. You're married to the Luke guy?

No, no, no. I'll just work husband. Yes, Luke is married to Rose. Oh. But I'm sort of, I'm to him what I was to you so many years ago. The sounding board in your office. I love this. I am definitely watching this show, Plotonic on Apple Plus.

Yes, and I am across all social media at Guy Brannum, and I am working on no projects, because I am on strike. WGA Strong. Absolutely. Keep that health insurance. But that's where it takes. I love you guys.

Thank you so much. I love you very much, Heather. Thank you so much for having me. And thank you for talking to me about this stuff. It's the thing I've wanted to talk about. I'm sure people will beg for you to come back. As the strike continues and you have more time to watch, please come with notes and we will talk about other things.

Other, find another franchise, do whatever you want. I suggest attacking Atlanta. Okay. Okay, bye. All right, you guys. Thank you so much. I have such exciting news. Arizona, guys, I'm going to the place that made me a star. Tempe improv.

I will be there Friday, the 16th and Saturday, the 17th of June with your favorite Chris Franjola. Recently announced, get those tickets. It's going to be so fun. You go to HeatherbinkDollin.net. For all the shows, I've got Vegas, as you know, where you can get the streamer and watch it for seven days after, that's this weekend. I've got Napa, I've got Irvine Improv, San Francisco

and Sacramento, everything, all the East Coast dates with Chris Franjola. All of those are at Heatherringtall.net. Click on there also you can join Patreon and listen to my super juicy episodes that are bonus episodes every Friday. Get it commercial free. You will love it. Heatherringtall.net. Thank you.