Juicy Scoop with Heather McDonald - Will Smith, Oscars, and Comedian Jessica Kirson

Episode Date: March 29, 2022

The Slap watched around the world even though nobody was actually watching the Oscars when it happened. What does Will Smith do next? I examine all the theories and the history behind Will, Jada, and Chris Rock. Then the hilarious Jessica Kirson is back. We discuss our worst and scariest moments as stand-up comics on stage. Jessica shares her coming-out story and her multiple baby mommas. We discuss male comics’ bad behavior and the shocking things that have been said to us in the entertainment business. Get ready to laugh and be enlightened.  Subscribe on Apple Podcasts to get exclusive Extra Juicy episodes every Friday and get all episodes of Juicy Scoop, ad-free Or get access to Extra Juicy on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/juicyscoop To bring your brand to life in this podcast, email [e-mail] Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Head of McDonald Has got the juices scoop When you're on the road, when you're on the go Juice is scoop is the show to know She talks Hollywood tales Her real life, Mr. Sanctuary, real data And serial systems You'll be addicted and a-ticks it fast

To the number one tabloid real life hard cat Listen in, listen up. Woo, woo, and a McDonald. Juicy scoop. Hello and welcome to Juicy scoop. Oh my god, let's just get into it. It's the slap, hurt around the world, seen around the world, talked about around the world.

Here we go. So first of all, let me just tell you about where I was when I first heard about it. So I was doing my live juicy scoop, which when I realized that we booked this on Oscar Sunday, maybe it was a few years ago, I would have been like, oh my god, you know, I did not care to watch the Oscars, My juicy skirpers didn't care. Pretty sure the show was sold out. Of course, you can watch it tomorrow. I'll give those details later.

But so I didn't know when I was doing something and then I had to go run and do a little costume change. And that's when I heard, oh my God, Will Smith just hit Chris Rock. And I immediately thought, it's fake, it's stage, they're friends. Oh God, they're trying, you know, start some buzz or something. We continued the show and then at the very end of the show, we got a question about it. We started to talk about it and inform the audience of what had happened. And so then I watched it and read everything.

And just to remind you guys, Chris Rock was not the host of the show. The host of the show were Amy Schumer, Wanda Sykes and Regina Hall. And I have not had a chance to like watch their monologue. I assume they were funny, they're funny women. The first time for three women to host it. And so that was exciting. However, nobody's just in true comedy form. No one's talking about the female comedians,

they're only talking about the male comedian, Chris Rock, after a big show. So Chris Rock gets up there too. I assume I think he was presenting about a documentary category and he goes into make some jokes and Jada Pinkett Smith is there and her head is shaved. And so he goes, hey, looking forward to GI Jane 2, Jada. And Will laughs, Jada's like rolling her eyes, like, heard that before, whatever, I don't know. is like rolling her eyes like heard that before whatever i don't know and uh... and then like right away at least the way the video shows right away will is on stage walking towards him

and he's like oh come on king richard which is the part that he's been nominated for and won the oscar last night for uh... and he what we'd like slow-mode it, it sounds like a punch, but it's more like, maybe it's a punch turned into a slap, I don't know, because the hand leaving the face is flat. It's a smack. It's a smack, but he got hurt.

And Chris Rock is like, whoa, oh my God. And the audience is laughing. Just like they laughed when I passed out on stage. And to that note, people think was this fake. I don't think it's fake for the same reason that people thought my thing was fake when I fainted on stage. There's no way Chris Rock would do it on that joke because it wasn't a great joke.

So if you're gonna do something that you think is gonna go viral, you would make sure that it was like that the hit happened after the funniest joke that you've ever said. And GI Jane joke about a woman with a shaved head is pretty bad. It's a movie that was 30 years ago. It just was a very low-hanging fruit joke.

And just like when I passed out, I was joking, saying like, oh, don't be a brat. It's not in my period. Making fun of the fact that that is a hacky thing that women, women comedians have been, criticized for, is talking about their period. But that's the thing that now people associate with me and they're like, she's not that funny.

So I definitely do not think this was fake. And then, and then Will Smith sits back down, the audience is laughing thinking it's fake or it's staged or whatever. And maybe it hopefully wasn't a real hit, but it was as we got, like I said, you should get it close to see it. Then Will screams out, keep my wife's name out of your fucking mouth, and then screams it again, even louder.

And honestly, the hit was really terrifying, and I think it's like really triggering for a lot of people to have seen that. Oscars are something that you watch with your kids and your grandma. It's way worse than when i'd janet jackson's a little nip came out on the sunday super bowl this is way way worse and and but like the mean screaming like from a man to me is like was more it almost more scary because um

anyway so the night continues and he wins, which I've got the I have an episode. I know I said it from the moment I heard that the movie was being made. I said, Will Smith will be nominated and won an Oscar for it. I knew it. He is a great actor. And so he gets up there and he's just bawling crying. And you know, what was this all about? I mean, was it, is he like going through something mentally or was he, is he just so privileged that something pissed him off and he decided to react at it?

Because I mean, besides hitting Chris Rock, oh, by the way, he apologizes in his speech to the Academy, to the fellow nominees, to everybody in the room, never apologizes to Chris Rock. But also, you know, this is why when your kids are graduating from high school, they send out that thing and they say, please, don't, you know, do fireworks and bap-bap when they name it when we say your kids name because the next kid it really affects their moment and this is exactly what it is this is way worse in con you taking

uh... tailor swift's academy or or not academy or but her v8 v ma's that was shitty for tailor swift but this really put a damper on everybody else that won. Like nobody else is talking about anybody else's speeches or who won or any other surprising moments. And so, like, that's very rude that you just made the whole Oscars about yourself.

And the fact that it would seem like it was such a snap decision makes me think maybe there is something mentally going on. But one thing that I posed the question of is like, you know, the way everyone reacted to it, the fact that Chris Rock didn't press charges because the police did do a, like a little incident report, but then they said there was an incident that happened here like people got it from the LAPD, but the Chris Rock decided not to press charges, which we knew he wouldn't. But you know, if it was, I think if it was two straight men, like they are, you know, and any, you know, type of thing, I think also them being at the same level of, in the industry, they're both powerful.

I think people are just like, okay, you know, they're somewhat equal. Now, Will Smith is much bigger than Chris Rock, but still, like, what if the height was really different? What if one was gay and one was straight? What if it was two women doing it? How it would be perceived if two women hit each other? I think it's just interesting that, you know know that's why i think people originally thought it was

a joke because they were like all they must know each other they you know run in the same circles now i know that will smith is like i hope i get invited back to the academy he said that i hope i get to do this again you know i know that he's member of some of some country clubs and sometimes people get kicked out of country clubs when they get in trouble for a white collar crime or something like this,

like a domestic violence charge or there's a moral code thing. So I'm just curious, will anybody do anything about it or is it just forgiven because he's crying, anyone in the Oscars, any apologized anybody do anything about it or is it just forgiven because he's crying anyone the Oscars Any apologized and that's it but the violence is really Shocking and that let's get into the comedy, okay, so You know here. I am I'm on a stage It's a very vulnerable place to be when you're on the stage

Sometimes you can faint fall and there's no furniture sometimes You know sometimes people do charge the stage while you're can faint, fall in, there's no furniture. Sometimes, you know, sometimes people do charge the stage while you're on there and it's terrifying. And it's that has never happened to me. I've had people yell out at stuff. I'm going to talk later in the show with Jessica Kurson who's a hilarious comic. We talk a little bit about this. We recorded it last week. You never know who's in your audience. My sister was saying, where was security? I'm like, why would you? This isn't a regular comedy club where you might have security nearby because there's wackos. It's a room full of

the most elite, rich people, everyone in the... You can't just buy a ticket to the Oscars and be a weirdo and be up front. Everybody up front was, you know, I don't think they were worried about those people getting up and attacking someone. Now, yeah, maybe there will be like some plain closed men in Tuxedo's carrying guns. Maybe they were there, but they may have thought, again, this must be part of the act. It's Chris Rock. It's Will Smith. You know, they must know each other. This must be a fun thing. The history behind it is they had beef because I guess many years ago, Jada and Will banned the, or maybe it was just Jada, but they banned going to the Oscars because they were doing the hashtag Oscars so white. So they didn't go.

And that year Chris Rock was the host. And he made fun of them and he said something like, you know, that's like not going to a party you were invited to Jada, like making something some funny. So I guess there wasn't a lot of love between them to begin with. But it's completely wrong and you know, I'm disgusted by the whole thing and I feel terrible for Chris Rock. But you know, you got to make lemon aid out of lemons and He's got a big tour coming up. I saw his sign at the fantasy Springs I talked to Chris Rock when it was at Craig's

When I stayed at his table too long he was still very nice and He's a really nice guy. He's a hilarious comic and you know if his shows weren't sold out before they're going to be there probably sold out now because people are going to really want to hear from him about this and i'm sure he's going to start out the show like that if not because juicy scupper is taking us notes right now but um... yeah it's just it's just really um...

crazy now. There was an interesting tweet that I saw that I have the tweet in here. That there is a course, according to the Skies tweet, that there is a course in Scientology that goes with when someone is disrespecting you or something that you're supposed to stand up or present, like, I don't, there's something about it. I don't know if that's right. Will and Jada have definitely dabbled in Scientology. They started their own school that they said wasn't a Scientology school, but the materials

were from Elron Hubbard. The school was cost them a million dollars. It never went anywhere. It's not around. It was called the Village School. She seemed to appear to be more in it than he. Other people are like, this doesn't have to do with Scientology. OK.

Just interesting things that people are bringing up. So then, OK, let's go into some fashions that I might end up on Will Smith again. So some of the things in the fashions, which if you're watching this on YouTube, I've got the photos, but what's her name? Kristen Stewart. I'm really short shorts.

More like really short shorts and just bear legs. And it's like a cute outfit if you're just gonna go like go to dinner on like a summer night with some girls at a club. So she had just like a white blouse down to the navel, little satin jacket, satin shorts. So, you know, I guess sometimes you know what? Why not?

Like if she was just wearing a normal dress, we wouldn't be talking about it. So you either are gonna hit the comedian because you didn't like their joke or you're going to wear something that gets talked about. The other thing is the joke, I did not know. People are like, it was a cruel joke about the G.I.J. and J.D. being involved because she is alopecia and she's talked a lot about it and she's very sad that she know She was at the point where she's losing so much hair. She decided to shave her head There is no way Chris rock knew about that and also I don't think he should be expected to know about it

I didn't know about it. I just thought she was rocking a bald head. She's dropped dead gorgeous I've seen a lot of women lately of all different ethnicities rocking a bald head. And they're not sick. It wasn't for a medical reason. They're just like, oh, this is so freeing. I'm going to shave my head. So I think you might have been like, hey, wait a rock that bald head. I hope you're doing GI Jane too.

Also he did a whole movie or documentary, Chris Rock, about black women's hair and on all the struggles and everything it means, and throughout history. So that's kind of interesting too that you made that joke. But who's this girl, Billy Eilish? She's just wearing like just an enormous, enormous black ruffle dress. I love the Chiener brother, one. I love that as siblings, they work together. I just think that's the cutest. I'm picking up a lot of ruffles. Ruffles, Jada is here.

And she wore like a high-necked, green dress, enormous dress on such a tiny person. I always think tiny people should not wear such huge things where they could just be swallowed up in. She's a great body and she's petite. This is not my favorite Jada look, but certainly in the most memorable, because no one will ever forget

that this was the Oscar that she wore this dress. She looked really far away from Will in that. They were sitting like, they were like, do you think that's because like, they're sitting in separate booths, which is really weird. And her dress maybe comes a dress was so big she did her own booth. And the other thing I just thought of is when he goes, keep my wife's name out of your f'ing mouth. Well, it's interesting that he hits

Chris Rock for a dumb joke when you know you're going to get jokes that the Oscars made about you, especially if you're nominated. But when she was in her entanglement with a boy that was like 20 years younger than she, it was her stepson's friend. That guy was heartbroken. That's why he came out with it. He was like, pussy whipped and she dumped him and then he finally told the story. He didn't seem to be bothered by, you know, what else might have been in that guy's mouth

of his wife's. He didn't seem to care about that. But yeah, Amy Schumer made fun of their open marriage, I heard. They didn't really care. So here we are with Amy Schumer. She's a Navy and then Regina Hall and Wanda Sykes, both were white. I wonder if they talked to each other. I don't think they did not.

But don't you think you would? If I was doing a show where I'm going to be on stage with a couple other comedians, I'd be like, what are you wearing? What do you think you'll be wearing? What color? Well, what is this like a cute pantsuit? And then her Regina's white, but like a big slit up, but slit up the leg, but it's still address.

So anyway, I heard they're funny, but no one's talking about it. Tracee Ellis Ross wore this. This is like becoming a really common new thing. There's under boob, there's show your foopa, and then there's this top that's like, like the cleavage goes down past your boobs and like barely covers your ariola, and it's just like, just like, it looks like two eyes. It just looks like two eyes coming at you.

And it's just not my favorite look. Just like it looks like two eyes and just like like two eyes coming at you and It's just not my favorite look, but then What is this girl is the one who won best supporting for West Side Story? She wore the same type of top but her outfit was pretty cool It was like red pants and then she had like a weird little like Cape thing but a rounder wrist that then made it look like a dress But it was pants and like a crop top and it was this little top and they both have the same diamond necklace type of thing. And then this is Venus, right?

This Venus, she had a top that was like, wow, like, and in fact, her ariola did come out as she was sitting down. She probably didn't think just like the two girls hosting Regina and Wanda, they didn't think to call each other. She didn't think to sit down in a chair and go, how can I rock this look? Like she probably goes, oh, looks great on the red carpet. Then you sit and it's like, hey, Nipple, we can out everybody. And, and I don't, her arms crossing it in this photo, but I don't think she knew her nipple's out.

So good for her. Also arriving on the red carpet was Courtney, Kardashian and Travis Barker. And just wore like a black strapless dress and she wore her hair slick back and they did their tongue weird kissing thing on the red carpet. I don't know, I guess I'm sure she wasn't like in the first few rows. I just wonder, I guess if you're, I would invite the Kardashians. If I was doing Oscars, I would invite the Kardashians to, just like everybody else says, because they have millions and trillions of hundreds of billions followers, and it might get people to watch the Oscars.

So I don't think it's really that weird that they were there. Obviously neither of them are nominated for an Oscar, but like you should invite some social influencers. So let me see, was there anything else that I wanted to... Oh, I was going to say about Kanye. Well Kanye, they said he can't perform at the Grammys because of his, you know, weird social media behavior, yet look what happened here. But if they were, if they had not decided already to ban Kanye from performing, today's

meaning at the Grammys would be very weird because they'd be like, oh my God, we're scared about Kanye, but now if we tell him now that he can't do it. It's gonna look really unfair and A lot of other things I don't want to say, but it would look really bad if they all is so it's good that they Told him he couldn't do it before but in his defense. It's like Come on, I never hit anyone on stage You know, but he didn't hit Taylor, but he took her award. But he, so, you know, he's probably like, come on, like, I'm not that bad.

I think it's just very weird with Will Smith because he really is, like, such a beloved person. And before we knew that they had an open marriage and an entanglement, he and Jada were like the Hollywood couple, they would dress similar on red carpets, they had the two little kids, they just had this. And then as the kids got older,

it was like, oh my God, they're still married, they have this fabulous marriage. Now there's always been rumors about Jada and Will that they were swingers, that they're by, all of that, that was always there and then it was confirmed a couple years ago with her entanglement and then they came out and said, we have an open marriage.

But we're gonna stay together forever, we're never getting divorced, but we can screw other people. So now you know, and I have never been a fan of Jada's. I just think she's very, I don't can put anything of the word. I just think she's just like a know-it-all. And I think she thinks she's like a higher spirituality than everybody else. And her attitude is just not my favorite. I'm probably never going to be invited on the red table talk, which

is unfortunate because a lot of people are going to be catching it this week. I assume Will will join the red table talk and have and that'll be uncomfortable with his mother-in-law but maybe she'll be like you you stood up for my baby's alopecia. You're okay in my book. Oh Jada Jaden Smith he had tweeted something like that's the way you do it, which could mean either the speech, his speech being so beautiful or was it the slap? I don't know when it came, when the tweet was delivered. So that would probably be for the Twitter detectives to figure out. Anyway, wow, wow, and wow. Well, a lot of people didn't see the show because they were up my show, laughing their ass off. And now you can too.

It will be available six PM Pacific time today. That's right, March 29th, Tuesday. You can watch the Juicy Scoop live. It was professionally filmed, and you go to momenthouse.com slash Tuesday scoop or you go to Heather McDonald dot net. That's all you need to remember. You will find it. You can order it. You can watch it and

you will have five days to watch it once you purchase it. And after that that's it. It's not going to be put out any other place. We got really edgy. We got, did not hold back. It was obviously hilarious, but there was also some juicy stuff coming from some of the guests that they would not be comfortable doing on our regular show. So it was a special event, and it's about two hours. Who's nip slip? Oh. There might be a nip slip? Oh

There might be a nip slip, oh yes, there might be a nip slip as well and And for everybody who came to all the shows at Braille this weekend. Thank you so much. It was so fun I will be back at Tempe to redeem myself on April 9th at the Tempe improv. Again, Heather McDoll .net. All of our new merch is also at Heather McDoll.net and there's some really fun cool things there. And now for my fabulous juicy fun and enlightening conversation with comedian Jessica Kerson. Hello, I didn't see you there, but you see me because you're watching this, but have you subscribed? Have you told a friend? Have you liked it? Have you copied the link and texted it to someone you love or you just feel like being a nice person to? Please do

that. It keeps us going. So if you like watching Juicy Scoop here on YouTube, subscribe, like, and share. Hello and welcome to Juicy Scoop. I have one of my favorite female comedians. We always have to say female before comedian. Jesse Kurson, welcome back to the show. We did a Zoom last time. Yeah. And you were so funny.

And I just, I love falling on Instagram. I love your, your hilarious standup, but I love that you post all your, like, hilarious crowd work moments. Yeah. I mean, if you go see a Jesse show sit in the front and fucking get ready to possibly be part of the show and how me laugh at you on the Instagram later.

Yeah, I love doing crowd work because I don't know if you're like this, but I just get bored doing the same shit over and over again. And I love talking to people and I think stand up should be conversation. I mean, if you have that kind of act because some people, it makes sense that they're not going to talk to the crowd. I mean, I don't do it that much because you are inspiring me to want to do it. Good.

Because I'm like, I just, it, but also just really works with like your personnel and your cadence. Because obviously you're from the East Coast, you're from, I'm from, could you imagine? I'm from Tennessee. You're like I'm from Sherman Oaks, Fort and Rays. No, I'm from Jersey. Okay. I grew up in South Orange, New Jersey.

And yeah, I just, I love talking to people. Cause you know, you get so much material when you talk to people. It's like, people, I get a lot of my material from talking to people. Some people are right, you know, comics, some comics are writers. Like they sit and write.

You might be like this. Yeah, I write stories and and stories happen in my life. Yeah. And then I cultivate them into being like really strong, kind of longer stand-up bits. I wish I could sit down and write jokes, but I come up with most of my material on stage. That's great.

So it's either I have an idea and I flesh it out by just talking about it, or sometimes I just talk to the crowd and I get my ideas from just my groundwork. So I love that. And what's your favorite club to do in New York? The comedy seller. Because I think you see most of your videos from.

Yeah, yeah, because they're mostly comedy crowds. I mean, they're fans of comedy. And every show is sold out. And they just, they watch so much comedy and they don't get offended by anything. Most of the people that go there are. Speaking of the comedy seller, I think of Louis CK. Yeah. And what was your thought during all of that stuff when it went down, when the girls came

forward and all these other people came forward of his inappropriate behavior with them and being like, you know, just whipping it out and masturbating in front of women not asking for it. What like, what was that like? Because you're in everyone knows everyone loves them and you're part of that crew. What was that like? Well, I have so many of my own problems that I really focus on that situation because I barely get out of bed. You know, listen, I fell for those women, of course, and I feel for every woman I've been through my own experiences. So it's a horrible situation,

and it was horrible to hear that. And it was very sensitive to them, and to all of it that was going on, it was a lot because people were coming and like some people, not a lot, but there was some protests going on there and the club did call me and say, do you feel okay? Do you feel safe here? Do you need anything? If he was to go forward and continue to perform there, some people are saying he shouldn't be able to perform there anymore is what you're saying. Well, I'm not sure if a lot of comics said that,

but the club did call and just say, how do you feel? Do you feel okay? Which I thought was great. Yeah, yeah. And then when he was gonna come back and perform, do they said you feel okay with him performing here? And I said, yeah, because I said,

a lot of the comics are rapists. You know, I mean, these male comics, like God, I mean almost every, like Jesus, if you were to take out, you know, what was so weird and sad? And this is, listen, this is not, this is we're gonna talk freely or comedians, offensive people.

People like Eagerla easily offended don't listen to Deuce's group, but there's probably gonna one or two that are gonna get a one-star review for this episode, but listen. Yeah. In the scheme of me too, there was Harvey Weinstein and, you know, several tears down. Yeah. If you're going to do it that way was Louis CK. Right. But still all awful. But yes, I think some people felt that way too.

Right. But what they were saying is like, I'm like, you know, there's other male comedians. I mean, most men, like not most, but a lot of men are, you know, on the edge somewhere of being very inappropriate and doing things that are not okay. So do I feel safe with, I mean, it's like saying, meaning like there's a lot of male comics that have done stuff that are not okay or that I feel uncomfortable with. Were male comics like meeting around the corner being like, fuck who's next?

Like of course. I think like, we're waking up in cold sweats. Like, oh my God, back in 2007, I did this. You know, they're probably, they're father, I think they were freaking out. I mean, for so long, when I would take a picture with so many male comics, they were like this, when we would take a picture, or like they wouldn't put their arm around me.

In, around the me too, like in the last couple years. Oh my God, yeah, I'm like, you can, first of all, I'm a lesbian, so you can put your arm around me. Are you okay with me putting my arm around you? Like, I'm fine. I don you can put your arm around me. Are you okay with me putting my arm around you? Like, I'm fine. I don't feel like you're gonna grab, I mean, if you're not gonna grab me, you know,

it's okay. You can put your arm around me. But I have also, I've said this in a lot of interviews. I mean, I'm a lesbian, I'm older, I'm not a skinny, I'm gonna be, you know, let's be honest, I'm not a skinny 25 year old hot girl. And I've, they've been, people, men in the business, gay women, gay men have been incredibly inappropriate with me, have touched me inappropriately, have said things to me many, many, many times.

So I can't imagine what they've done to women who are 25, 30, 20, and hot. Because they've even done it to me. So it's like, it's unreal. I just remember what I, so my first, like, real job was writing on Kenanabriwain's late night talk show for a couple months until I called and sent to audition for a pilot and another comic told on me and then I was fired.

But for those couple months it was pretty great experience. And I, and afterwards, and I was like 27 or something, I went out for some other audition and it was like a woman, probably just maybe 35, pretty attractive woman. And she, you know, I think I put that on my normal resume too, even though it was a writing job. And she's like, for kid in every way, and she goes, who'd you have to blow to get that job? Unbelievable.

But she wasn't even joking. Like I think she was actually being inquisitive. Like I'd like to know because I don't really like being this casting director. Like I was like literally, and I kind of was like, ha ha ha, like I thought she was joking joking but then look after all this me too so I started to look back at things and be like I don't even think I caught up I don't even think I caught some of the inappropriate clues and things that were happening because I was always

just like oh well that joke didn't go for funny you old weird man I feel sorry for you so I'm gonna ha ha giggle and make you feel better rather than be like, hey, sick fuck, you don't like no. So I completely understand and agree with what you're saying. Yeah. Because I have talked to my friends so many times about that that I didn't pick up on so many things that people have said and done to me. We've talked, all my friends and I have talked about that. Like someone would smack my ass and I would like weeks later, or months later, go, wait a second, was that appropriate?

Like, this is not, we don't pick up on things. We don't, because we're so used to it. For so many years that it's just, it's normal to us, I think. Well, I think it's like the whole thing of women being raised, like polite and be nice and everything. So when men would act inappropriate or their jokes wouldn't land, even like in a corporate setting, because they were being gross, we were always like, oh, you know, I don't want to make that loser feel bad. We are. You know, we still do it by the way.

I do it to this day. Yeah, I don't want wanna say I don't do it. That's not being honest. I still do. I still do it at times because it's a business thing. Right. And you know, when you have to get things done sometimes, you have to kind of make them feel okay. I don't mean even in a sexual way, but in a way to just stroke their ego.

Exactly. Because they're so pathetic sometimes. Right. You have to just make them feel better about themselves to get shit ego. Exactly. Yeah. Because they're so pathetic sometimes. Right. You have to just make them feel better about themselves to get shit done. Yes. And so you, okay, you were telling me in the bathroom and I go, let's just save it for the show.

We went to the bathroom together. We did, we did. And I was like, save it for the show. But while we don't go to the show, tell me who you hate in the comedy world. But so we talked about that just kidding. And then, but do tell me like, so you're a lesbian.

Yeah, mostly, mostly. Not 100%. Oh, you're not full blown. Well, I speaking of blown, I do like giving blow jobs, because I'm an eater. I do, oh well. Yeah.

So, and I don't chew. So I like that, you know, like the feeling in the back of my throat, like I do with sandwiches. Uh-huh. I don't, I don't, um, no, I've been with guys. I never, it's not like it's like a sexual thing with guys. It was more like I could never fall in love with a guy that I ever, I've never been in love with a man. I never wanted to like spend time with them the next day. I'd be like, ugh, the thought of like spending the day with a guy that I'm

not friends with. Like I love men. I'm most, a lot of my best friends are obviously. Right, obviously. But I just couldn't fall in love with a guy. But it's not like men gross me out or I'm disgusted by them. But I was always, you know, could fall in love with a woman. So when like when was your first like girl friend? Like was your first romantic situation with a man? No.

So I had boyfriends. I mean, they were short periods of time. And again, I couldn't wait for them to leave the house and go out with my girlfriends. Yeah. But I had, you know, crushes on women like, you know, flash dance, the, you know, what's her name, Jennifer? Yes. You know, that's when you took off the bra.

Oh, I mean, I was obsessed with her. Which by the way, let's talk about flash dance the movie. Talk about an inappropriate situation. She was only 18, right? Walking as the steel girl or whatever, and then dancing and the guy that owned the whole company could not have been younger than 38-39. That's true.

And that was her boyfriend. Yeah. I know, that's very true. And then I always felt like, did he pay actually to get her accepted into the ballet thing? Remember at the end, he was there with the dog and the roses? I bet he did pay. But this is very inappropriate, by the way. Was she like 11? Oh no. She was 18. No, I remember she said pay the bill. But this is very inappropriate, by the way. Was she like 11?

Oh, no. She was 18. No, I remember she said she was 18. I remember she like didn't go to college and she was being the steel girl because like that you could make a really good hourly wage. And remember she went to the restaurant. She's eating the lobster with just a big one.

Yes, she was so hot. I was obsessed with her i think i watched in eight hundred and forty six times i was right and he was hot the whole thing was like porn to me no the all and the other thing about that movie is whoever sang the song in that movie my mom who's a realtor represented

like that woman's agent and and that's where my mom said, you know, the guy said, she doesn't like make a lot of money. The person who wrote the music makes a lot of money. And my mom's like, that's why you have to be a writer. The writers are the ones who make the money. And I knew that about music. And then I knew about that about like, when I was working like early on TV shows,

there were some guys that worked on sitcoms, and they're like, if you ever get on a family sitcom, write the Christmas episode, write the Halloween episode, because they'll always play those in residuals. That's so true. Yeah, true. That's so funny.

Yeah. That is amazing, because I was on Kevin Can Wait, the Halloween episode and I always get residuals for it. And I did voices for bubbleguppies, the Halloween thing and I always get residuals. I never realize that. Yeah. That makes complete sense. Totally. Yeah. Okay. So anyway, so you were hot for Flash Dance girl. Okay. That for her. Yeah. Okay. So go on. Yeah. So then I know that my coming out story is amazing. Well, that's here. Amazing. So I went to University of Maryland, a very Jewish, you know, I'm

Jewish and like my sister went there, my cousins, and I was in a sorority. It was just hilarious. Which one? Delta Phi Epsilon. Okay. And I'm just kind of a Jewish one. Yes. Traditionally Jewish. But we weren't like, the term is jappy, like Jewish American prints. Right. We weren't like, hi Ron, how are you? What's going on? I mean, that's so rarer. Like it wasn't like that.

Yeah. You were like potheds and didn't show up to anything. Oh, that's nice. Yeah, I was like, the word they always used was, you guys are so apathetic. We need to do more on the row for PR. No, we were like, oh my god, where's the peg party? Like we were wasted all the time. And it was good for me because the college was 40,000 people.

And I was like, didn't know how to meet people. And it was great to be part of this pledge class and being a sorority. It really narrowed down. You know, I lived in the sorority house with 40 girls. It was amazing. So did I. I was at a big school too. I was at USC and that's I lived in the sorority house with 40 girls. It was amazing. It was worth saying. I was at a big school too. I was at USC and that's why I love this sorority life.

I had a big, because I'm like, I wouldn't have had people to go to the games with, do anything with, but it was built in plans. Amazing. And I lived in the house. It was worth saying. It was fire. Oh, film. So it was like where that was awesome.

I love that movie too. Right. So that's another movie where those people acted like they were 40. And then you watch it down. You're like, they were 23. Right. Like wearing suits and like having big houses. I'm like, what the hell?

They just graduated last spring. Right. That's so true. They were like going through menopause. So yeah. Yeah. So I this sorority really into it and you know would go to these formals and all the stuff but with the guy and I was like not, you know, everyone had boyfriends and I would have boyfriends. But I never wanted to, I had no idea I was gay and all I cared about was what people

thought of me. I was very concerned about what people thought of me. Now at any time, in this time, like, what were you studying? Did you secretly want to be a standup comedy? Never, never, never. Did you ever watch Standup comedy? Were you even like a fan of it? I would know I was a Saturday night live,

Lee Seale Ball, Carol Burnett, always sketch like, I liked Standup, but was never a fan of Standup. But I was the class clown. Did you have aspirations to be on SNL or anything? Yes, always. But would you tell people or not because you were this college on a college path? I was on a college path and I was going to be a therapist. Oh, there was a therapist. I had been in therapy since I was in the womb.

But I was a class clown. I mean, since I'm in literally kindergarten, I was the everyone made everyone laugh constantly. I always made faces. I was silly. I'd crash into things on the street and fall down. I was out of my mind. Like out of my mind. So anyone who finds out on the community is like, of course she's coming. It's not shocking to anyone. Yeah. So I I was in this, this is great. I was a senior just starting my senior year and a freshman girl came in and her name was Melissa and she came into rush, which means for anyone, you know,

but you know, came in to see the sorority with the group of girls, the freshman and see if she liked the sorority, we got to meet them and see if we liked them. It's like this auditioning process. Yes, exactly. And I saw her and I thought she was adorable. And she noticed me, and it was crazy.

I had no idea about anything. Yeah. And then she ended up picking the sorority and we picked her. And she and I connected. On what level I don't understand. And we just really liked each other and over time ended up spending a lot of time together and it just grew into this. Well, like when did the make out happen?

Well, basically to make a very long story short for six, you yogurt date. You're like, when did you scissor? Um, she and I for six months could not stay apart. We would sit in the car and stare at each other for three hours like this. But not make out. Not even talk. It was insane. Okay. I didn't know what was happening.

I'm like, am I do I need to go to a mental institution? I didn't think I was a lesbian. I didn't know what was happening. I'm like, am I, do I need to go to a mental institution? I didn't think I was a lesbian. I didn't know what was going on. Okay. There were so much tension. I would get jealous when she was with guys, girls, like hanging out. I would get out of my mind when she would go to a dance with someone. It was so confusing. I didn't know what was happening. Basically, we went home for Christmas break. She came to my house in Jersey. She was for Christmas break. She came to my house in Jersey. She was from Jersey too. She came to my house.

We drank wine. We got a little high. We started wrestling. That's how it happened. That's how it happened. That's how it happened. That's how it happened. That's how it happened.

That's how it happened. That's how it happened. That's how it happened. That's how it happened. That's how it happened. That's how it happened. That's how it happened. That's how it happened. That's how it happened. That's how it happened. That's how it on and helmets and I'm joking.

Can you imagine? We started, we were, yeah. We started wrestling and then we made out and we both freaked out. How long into the make out? Did you freak out? We made out a lot. Okay, so you let the make out go.

We didn't do anything else. We didn't go to second. Okay, I'm like, so can you imagine I just said second? Second used to be like touching breasts. That It's now. It's anal. Yeah anyway, so we started You have teenagers now it's anal so we started you know, just like you know wrestling and making out and we Panicked we were both like whoa what just have like I am, I am not gay. I was really freaked out. I mean, that was a long time ago, now it's not. But now it's like if you're not gay, there's something wrong.

Right, now if you're not by, you're like, there's a lot. You're a homophobic, yeah. So we freaked out and we got very uncomfortable and didn't kind of talk for a week. I don't remember exactly how long but We kind of just didn't talk about it and then we drove back to Maryland together to go back to school We went stayed in my apartment together so I could get settled in I took all my stuff back and that was it. We just started

having sex And did you know and did you know how to have a female gay sex? I had watched a lot of porn oh in my you know how to have female gay sex? I had watched a lot of porn in my teenage years. The big BHS tape or something. Of course they were like boombox. So I didn't really know what I was doing, but I think I knew more than she did. And so we were having sex a lot, but again, to make a very long story short, it was a nightmare because it was a secret for three years because she'd ingradiate for three

years, and it almost killed me. I mean, we kept it from everyone. We were madly in love. And I still didn't think I was a lesbian. I just thought I was in love with her. And so we were hiding it. Really, no one knew, maybe a couple of people, but really we kept it, we were good at it.

I mean, it was a job. And we would meet in hotels halfway. I missed her desperately. But now you had graduated. Right, so I moved back home. And I would date guys just to convince myself, even date but just sleep with some guys just to convince myself I wasn't gay and it was horrible because I would drink a lot and do like you know get high or do some like I just it was a horrible thing for me and my family didn't know and I was hiding it from

everyone and lying and it was just it really almost killed me it was horrible and and it would kill me when she would go to like these dances with guys so that people wouldn't think she was gay and it was just it was killing us and and then we end I ended up coming out to my family and I told my mother who's a therapist and I was hysterically crying she said you think I didn't know like when she leave the house you would be sobbing like who sobs when a friend leaves the house. I'm like Moana's like like What are my favorite fortune?

What are my favorite fortune feams or jokes? Speaking of fortune? I mean with like you know, it was an old joke So I don't know if she still does best my favorite when she'd go She had a coming out story where like she didn't know she was gay until she like saw this like after school special a lifetime movie about a girl being gay and then she was like oh but prior to that like she had this best friend that would go on like dates and stuff but the best friend didn't know that she was in love with her and she'd be like and then my mom would be like why you get so sad when you know Casey goes out and before she's

like, you know, for instance, yeah, yeah, like, go to my best friend. She has my best friend. Yeah, so, yeah, so your mom clued in then. Yeah, and when I told my sister, she literally thought I was dying of cancer. I'm not kidding. Oh, when you started to tell it. Yeah, I was sobbing and I thought they would, that was a way people suggested to tell your family

that you were gay back like, you know, 20 years ago, is to say, you know, I have cancer in this and then have them cry and go, no, I don't have cancer. I'm just gay. Right, right. And then all thank God. That's amazing, right? Right, nice way to soften the blood.

That's so she thought you were saying. You are amazingly funny. I love you. Yeah, she was like really like so grateful that I wasn't dying. Right. And you know, my family is so accepting. You know, I come from this liberal Jewish family. Thank God.

I'm very lucky. My heart goes so much to people. The millions of kids and teenagers and young adults and adults who have to tell their families and they just, oh God, cut them off. I mean, I literally just felt oh God, cut them off. I literally just felt like I was gonna cry. It's so upset.

I just constantly think about that because I'm very blessed that my family didn't judge me for a second or they love me no matter what. I mean, I don't think it's like what my family would have chosen for me. And the only reason why is because, and both my parents said this, because of the way I, what I had to go through,

because at the time, it was not accepted. Meaning, right, my mom and my dad said, you know, the hardest thing for us is that you can't walk down the street holding hands with the person you love. And I mean, you can, but you're gonna get ridiculed and looks and it's gonna be harder for you in your life. life like at that point they didn't ever think I'd have kids ever like the thought of me having kids was my mom always says that I never thought you would have a child ever right so it was very hard for them to think of me having a wife. So what have with you and Melissa? Melissa and I stayed together for about seven years.

And she was the love of my life at the time. She's an amazing person. And we both moved to North Hampton, Massachusetts, which is called Dyke. It is not all lesbians, but there's a lot of lesbians there. What's it called? It's called dixfil, like it's like, it's called dixfil. Well, I mean, meaning there's so many lesbians there.

Yeah. And, you know, I moved there to come out because it was very comfortable for me. But I was like, I was really used, I was like smoking potaton and doing, I was going through a very hard time. And this time we're still not exploring stand-up or anything? No, no, I'm not. I, um, when did you come out as a comedian? That must have been more disappointing for your family. Oh, that's so funny. Well, I moved back home and I went to school at NYU to be a social worker for an MSW. And this is the thing. I come from, my parents were both in community theater.

They both loved acting. And my mom, my parents were divorced. And my mom started dating, I told you this before, but Zach Briaff's father from scrubs. Oh, okay. And Zach was a child actor. So they were kind of around that. And Zach was auditioning every day.

So my mom was driving him to auditions. And his two brothers who were older were into writing. So they were both, you know, in the bit like experimenting. So they were kind of around it. So you, your career is based on nepotpotism but through marriage. Yeah, exactly. Right. That's true. So I was going to school to be a social worker and I was at my family country club and my grandmother was sitting with my sister and my cousins. This is incredible, too. And my grandmother, my beautiful Jewish grandmother, B. Farbenman, was sitting at the, in the grill room at the

country club and she's looking at me with that faith. This is my old Jewish race even when they say something positive. It's gorgeous outside. Look at this weather and she's like, she isn't that true? I never felt better. Yeah. I feel great. So she goes, Jess, she come here. And I said, what, Nanny? What? And I came over and she goes,

you need to be a comedian. Every time you're with people, the laughing. That's what she said to me. And I said, I could, Nanny, I could never, ever stand on stage in front of people. Because I had a fear of performing I could never, ever stand on stage in front of people,

because I had a fear of performing. I said, there's no way I could, she goes, I'm telling you, I'm your grandmother, you need to make people laugh. It's your, that's what you're supposed to do. You trust me, I'm your grandmother. That's what you do. And I couldn't, there's no, I'm telling you,

I could never, I've never stood in front of people and talked I can't and she said you promise me you do that like she made me do ever get to see you do it A bunch of times. Okay on the tonight show the view off so so I Was lost I didn't really want to be a therapist. I was in graduate school But I looked in the village voice in New York and on the back of the thing was a class American class, too. I wouldn't have done it if I didn't take a class. Me too. See, I love that you people like us Yeah, there's a lot of people like I went to an open mic and I just got on stage I'm like how did you do that? Well also, I think because you and I like had similar thing in college sorority, like starting your

thing. And also knowing that I should do it, but also at the end of the class, six weeks, you've got a little show. Yeah. And like, if I have a deadline, my family wants to come, I know I'll deliver. That's exactly what I did. Yeah. Exactly same thing, my whole family game.-hmm, and I took that six-week class. Yes, but so my mom's a therapist like a big therapist

She had to take me to someone who deals with fears. I literally had to stand across from this guy and like do work with him I was I was petrified. Oh petrified. Yeah, but that's why I tell people you can do whatever you want like if I could do this I was not okay like I was throwing up. I tell people to do a class to the only people I tell yeah don't Don't be a stand-up is because there's people that this I'm like if you've never made someone chuckle at a cocktail party laugh at a slumber party Don't do it But if you have don't know how to get on stage or you don't know how to put together a If you have, you don't know how to get on stage or you don't know how to put together a personal story that your best friend would laugh at, you're like, I know my best friend

would laugh at it, but how would the audience, I'm like, take a class. You know what I tell people, if you can learn it. You can learn it. You can really happy. Yeah. Like, if you're really happy. Don't be anxious. I'm not kidding.

I mean, I was, I, we're, I listened. There is something wrong with you. If you pursue stand-up comedy, you're not, you, I'm sorry, we're not okay. I don't know about you. I'm not, I am not okay. It's okay. I've accepted it and I'm okay with it. I mean, sometimes I, sometimes I, kids are, my husband will be like, you're so weird. I'm like, yeah.

Yeah. Like, you can't, you're just figuring that out now. Yeah. Like, I mean, it's okay. We have to embrace it, but you cannot do this if you out now. Yeah, I mean, it's okay We have to embrace it But you cannot do this if you're okay like this. Yeah, I mean, there's something off there has to be something off It doesn't mean we're like miserable and we're like ready to jump off of a building But we're not okay in some way or another and then when you keep going

Right after every rific experiences you have to be able to be Right, after every horrific experience is, you have to be able to be okay with being distraught and being punched and you have to be able to get back up after going through horrible experience. That's gonna be a lot of self-doubt, yeah. Yeah. So was your first experience a pleasant one then? It was good.

I mean, I did, you know, I mean, of course, I had 30 people there, you know, to come see me. And it was a Caroline's on Broadway. Oh, good. So it was, and it was, I didn't do great, but at least I had the support of all the people there. Right. And that's the only reason why I did it.

And then part of me was like, then I did the Open mics and it was so uncomfortable and so weird and it wasn't cushy as you know doing Open mics and bar shows, but's part of that was familiar to me. Yeah. And I was okay with it. Well, what happened with me is similar, since I grew up here, and I had all this, I had family and I had friends and sorority people that were like, yeah, we'll come see you.

Right. So whenever I had a bigger, more important night, at the improv, and I don't, I think I'd just become irregular at the improv, but even like shows that, you know, someone would produce, but it would be like a decent place that I wasn't embarrassed to invite people to. Yeah. So I'd have, you know, and my parents would come and they'd like bring their friends, my parents would bring their marriage therapist. The marriage therapist wanted to be a comedian. You can't make this shut up.

I swear to God, That is the reason. And then they would buy the guy a nice dinner and everything, they liked going to this one place Luna Park because it had nice food. That was in West Hollywood. Anyway, so, but then I remember some comedians, some male comedians started talking shit about me saying, of course she does well.

She packs the room, she brings everybody up. Of course, you're always gonna get that. Fuck you, my crowd still laughs for you, you're always gonna get that. I don't like, fuck you. My crowds still laugh for you and you're not even funny because they're like nice and they like felt bad. So they would like laugh for like the losers too. And I'm like, you should be so happy that I'm on your show. I'm bringing like great people.

Yeah, you can't win. Yeah, you especially can't win as a female comment. Yeah. If you're funny, you're always gonna get judged. If you're, I mean, all comics will get judged by other comics, but if you're a female comic and you're funny, forget it. Right. Yeah.

You're definitely gonna get judged. So then tell me how you ended up with all your children and your ex, baby mamas and all that. It's hilarious, your ex baby mamas. I, well, I met my first partner when I was this is great too. I was flying on the street, which means for people that don't know,

I was on the street in New York City for doing a show for the duplex, which is like a gay cabaret club and bar. It's great, it's on Christopher Street in New York. And I was handing out flyers, You do that to get stage time. You do that Las Vegas too. Yeah, yeah. Our sex trade and stuff. Yeah, I did it for that too. So that's how you get enough people to come.

Right. And they go for free or they still had to pay to see the show. I think they had to pay $5. And so my ex walked up with her friend and I was with Aaron Foley and all these people that you probably know is amazing. And we were all just doing it to get a spot, to get a five minute spot. That's what you had to do, was a Friday night.

And I was six months into comedy or something. This is 23 years ago. And she walked up and she came to the show and she thought I was a flyer for a living. She didn't know it was a comic. She thought I stood outside and gave out flyers. And then she saw me perform and that was it. She wanted me right away.

No, she, she came to the show and the typical lesbian thing, like she saw me perform that night, and then we hung out, and she's like, I'm spending the rest of my life with you. You know, it was typical lesbian thing. No, why do they say that about a lesbian? Like the second date, they bring me you whole. Because it's an emotional thing.

I mean, women, it's just like, it gets emotional immediately, and you're just, you just connect. That's it. Yeah. It's like, I don't think it's as common like that as it used to be. I think people are more, I think people are more centered now and kind of, it's not, it seems like the younger generations, they don't move in right away anymore.

Yeah. It's not as common as it used to be. It seems like the younger generations, they don't move in right away anymore. It's not as common as it used to be. They said that so few people are cohabitating. The thing to do is, if you're going to build a new building, is to make more studio single units. Because even if people sometimes get together, they want to keep their separate space. I think that makes a lot of sense. I know. I'm like a lot of friends who are divorced and stuff. And I'm like, you know, if you don't need to get married to have kids and you don't need, you know, it's not like the

guys richer than you. Like you have a nice home too. I'm like, why would you ever want to move in? Don't you like having your own bed and your own thing? And then like, go have your fun. We can have fun the night and then goodbye. And then I'll see you like Thursday. I think that's a very good idea. Yeah. If you're not looking to procreate and have babies together, or your kids are older, especially if your kids are older

and you don't need him financially, why would you ever combine like teenage kids? Like let them are older. Especially if your kids are older and you don't need him financially, why would you ever combine teenage kids? Let them get older, and then if you want to live together when you're like 60, okay, they're not gonna be able to come, they're gonna be following the come visit. Or you could do something where you do have, if you need to do it for ways that you can see each other

in the hospital, whatever it is, I don't know all the details, but like you can do that and keep your money separate and keep your own homes and whatever. What do you need to do to protect yourself legally? Make them your life partner, but not that, yeah, but still. Right, okay. So Sharon and I ended up getting together and then we, marriage wasn't legal then. Gay marriage wasn't legal. So we had this huge Jewish wedding.

Uh-huh. How would you do it in New York City? Okay. But it wasn't legal. Um, but we just felt like we wanted to to celebrate a commitment or a union. Right. Exactly. And uh, and then what did you wear? Um, oh my god. This is so funny. So like, I felt like I didn't want to. I'd have very little to say. And what you know with this. What year was this? So this must have been,

Zoe is gonna be 16, so this was like 17 years ago. Okay. And I wore a skirt. Oh my God, I'm gonna kill myself. I wore a skirt and a blazer, but I didn't want to. In white. I couldn't say no at the time. Well, who's making you wear this outfit?

My ex. Oh, what did she make me? What did she wear? She wanted me to wear dress, a wedding dress. Okay. I'm always the more male in the relationship, but I should have worn a pantsuit, but I just kind of was like, you know, didn't have, I didn't speak up a lot when I came at that point in my life. And I wore black.

Oh, you wore black? Yeah, we started. Oh, okay. Yeah. All right. It was kind of like we made up our own thing. Yeah, sure. Sure. Um, and it was uncomfortable for me.

Like, I should have definitely worn a pantsuit. I felt like I was in drag. I was in a tough time in my life. You're in drag, but you're in drag like a like it was bad. Oh you were like oh drag like like dress like a woman But you really wanted to be like in a nice true. Yeah, I'm very male in a lot of ways That was not the right outfit. I have not worn this is a true statement. I have not worn a skirt or a dress since that day. Not one time. Good for you.

Not even as a joke and nothing. Okay. That was the last time, 17 years ago that I ever wore a skirt or a dress or anything other than pants or shorts. That was the last day. Is there anything like that in your closet? No. Well, that was the last day. Is there anything like that in your closet? No. Well, that was the last day. No, I did a bonfire.

Oh, good. Every, no, I'm joking. But that was the last day. Okay. So you get married. So it was a beautiful wedding. Yeah. Gorgeous. And then we then we did in vitro. Okay.

And how did you pick the male sperm? We used a donor. But how did you choose it? My characteristics, my features, you're able to see someone. Okay. Amazing. Pictures until they're eight or nine, he was stunning. Voice recordings, everything was very high quality. Well, you like deciding between like three people or was there was about three there was about three and Was too sure you also choose like what they did for a living everything everything You know you know a lot. I mean the more you pay the more you know was the sky a startup company. No, no, no, no But but it's incredible what you can know yeah, if you pay okay, and

This was it was amazing what we were able to get. I think it's very just very similar to who I am. Okay. I look like and every. And so then it was her egg and she carried it. Yes. Okay. And it worked the first time. And that's your daughter. And that's my that's my almost 16 year old Zoe. Okay. And she is an actress and she is amazing and she has an agent and she goes to high school for the performing arts half a day. She's unreal and she is all over my Instagram and she's on my TikTok and like people follow her. She's unbelievable.

She's an incredible kid. And so what happened there? I mean, love with her. Is that the only child you guys had together? Yes. So that's our own a child together. So we ended up, we we got together young. We were both, you know, just we were very good friends. We, you know, we get along great. we co-parent. She lives with Sherry, Sherry. Obviously does everything because she lives with her and has always done everything. No, my ex, right, and my ex, Sherry does everything

because I'm always on the road and she lives with her. And so, and I'm very grateful to her. She is a great mother and Sherry, and Zoe'm very grateful to her, you know, she is a great mother and and Zoe's a great kid. And, you know, so how old was your daughter, Zoe, when you guys stopped living together? We stopped living together for good when she was like five. Oh, okay. So it just didn't work out. We went our separate ways and we, it's, you know, it's great now, we all get along and it's all good. And again, Zoe's amazing. So then we broke up and then I ended up meeting Danielle,

who's my current wife. And Danielle is a therapist, my mother's a therapist. I mean, this is all like, so I had a sitcom deal for all of this with NBC peacock and it didn't end up going through, but my whole sitcom idea is that I have two baby mamas. Oh, wait. So this is recent then. You like this deal?

Well, because it's peacock. Yes, yes. It was a deal that I had during right before COVID. Oh, yeah. So which I'm going to rework and go again. Because it is an amazing story. So I met Danielle and Danielle and I worked on having, it's not the same donor, did it again. She wanted kids and I was like, of course,

I would have more kids. And we tried and went through some bumps and then we got pregnant with Isabella, who's now six, six and a half. And we went through a lot with Isabella because, unfortunately, we found out six months into the pregnancy that Isabella has severe heart disease, which I don't even think you know. Yeah, she has major heart disease, which I don't even think you know. Yeah, she has major heart disease. It's hard because a lot of times when I talk about this, people will go, oh yeah, my friend has a daughter with a hole

in her heart. This is much more severe. So at six days old, she had to have open heart surgery. Oh, wow. I know. She's had three. And she's had a stent through her gro I know and she hasn't even had the major She has to have her valve replaced your main hard valve and she has two major problems and So she has to have a bunch more

Surgery is unfortunately, but she's stable and she is okay And but we have to take her every six months to get these made like, like go to regular school. And she goes to regular school. She's thank God she's healthy. She has to take medication twice a day for the rest of her life. But like by looking at her,

you would never know something's wrong. I mean, she has tons of scars. And but she's like a beautiful, you know, normal looking six-year-old. But, you know, she has tons of scars, but she's like a beautiful, you know, normal looking, six-child child, but, you know, that has constressively changed my life because it's made me relook everything. It's like, once you go through something like that, I'm sure a lot of people listening to this and watching this have a child

with health issues or know someone or a family member, it's like you just get so grateful for everything. And it's like even as a comic, and I know you're gonna get this, when I look out at people who are so miserable in the audience, I mean, you're gonna laugh at this and I know people that are listening. I've literally said to people who are look look like they're

like miserable or shaking like back at you when i've been so in rage drunk burnt out i'm like why don't you go to a children's hospital and sit in the lobby and look around and look at this on grateful it's like i get in rage with people it's like why are you here why are you i mean you're gonna laugh is a comic is comets always laugh when i say that like this sound very dark to people. Yes, but I mean it in the funny way like right you are miserable looking like

Go look around and look this miserable you ungrateful piece of shit like yeah Things could be a lot worse Then sitting in a comedy show you You are miserable, go bowling. Why are you here? Like, it's so, I'm like a pretty, I'm a pretty happy person. I think it's because I was the youngest of five. And early on my dad would go,

what's wrong with you, sour plus? I was like, I couldn't be bummed. Like I had to be happy all the time. And I do look always like, what's the bright side of this? You know, like, where's the positive? I got to find the positive. When will it reveal itself that this was all meant to be, the way it's supposed to be?

Like I definitely am like that. But you know, sometimes I'm like, you know, sometimes I want to be pissed. And now I always say, now I'm like that, but you know, sometimes I'm like, you know, sometimes I want to be pissed. And now I always say, now I'm just famous enough that I cannot be the bitch. I sometimes deserve to be out in public. Because there are times that you deserve to be a bitch. And there's times that you're having a horrible experience in a customer service situation. But it's like, oh my god, if someone then gets back to Heather McDonald's, a fucking bitch.

And there's a take-to about it. I'm'm gonna die. You can't do it. No, you're right. You're too you you are there where you can't Yeah, and so I think also that's forced me to like never Like you are at the point I can still I can still freak out I did a jet blue the other day, but you have to be careful what happened on jet blue They I almost didn't make my flight because they couldn't get in touch with the people at the gate. I'm like, they're 200 feet away. What, what are you talking about? You can't reach them.

Like, I was, I was checking in. And they're like, we can't reach the people at the gate for like 20 minutes. I was standing there. Wait, so you're about to walk down a path? Yeah. And they couldn't reach the people at the gate to ask them if they were boarding or not. I'm like, do you want to just have someone walk over there

and just find out what's going on? I was so angry. But the point is also, I wanna say about this thing with my daughter. Yes, yes. That I'm also grateful that she's okay and alive. And I have gone to the best doctor in the world for this at Columbia in New York City.

And then I've seen children die. Like I am grateful. I look at the bright side. Yes, yes. Like I've seen the die like I am grateful I look at the bright side. Yes. Yes. Like I've seen the worst things that could happen to children and my kids okay and she'll be okay and yeah and things could be always be worse right and and anyway she's okay and then I have twin three year olds. So we've had three we've been planned on having twins. We got pregnant again so she could have a younger sibling.

And then their doctor was like, you're having two. And we were like, wait, did you put two embryos in? Or they broke? What did split? We put two in and then we did not plan. I mean, she was a little bit older. And so you thought only one would take. Yeah.

So now I have four daughters. All girls. All girls. So do you still, you knew you're putting girls in? We didn't. Oh, you didn't. I just ended up having four girls. No, you didn't know when you put you,

but you, but when you chose the emberals, you didn't know the sex of the emberals. No, no idea. No idea. Oh, that's cool. No idea. So it's a big thing. Oh, I have four daughters.

I love having four daughters. Yeah. Yeah. That's amazing. It's amazing. I feel like I have this like women's love having four daughters. Yeah. Yeah. That's amazing. I feel like I have this like women's march. It's a stair. Ha ha ha. I mean, they're so cute.

They're on my Instagram and my TikTok. I put videos of that. I mean, and I'm older, you know, I, it's a hilarious thing. I have the, it's like... So you live in the city? I live on Long Island. I wanted them to have a house. So you're not going to be in the suburbs? That's how I grew up.

I want a yard. I want them to do this. Yeah, I just wanted that for them. Because I'm on the road all the time. And how long does it take for you to get from your house to the Comedy Cellar in New York? Not long. I mean, what, 40 minutes?

Okay. It's not been... Did you drive? I do. I'm always driving. I can't take the train and the bus. I will end up killing someone on public transportation. I can.

Every time I've gone to New York and I've never stayed there for a long period of time. So maybe four days is the most, you know? And I think I've been on subway once. I don't. Also, I don't trust myself. Like that I would completely get lost or something like that. I know.

And then people are like, no, you should just, you're like, they're like, no, don't get in a cab to go to the place. Go right here and like, no, I don't care. It takes an hour and a half. It's dangerous now. Now it is. It's bad. It's really bad.

My friend was punched in the ribs yesterday on his bike. I know that sounds crazy. What do you mean he's peddling and someone still managed to punch him? He's someone was in the car. Can you believe this? And like, felt like he on his bike cut them off and got out of his car and punched him in the ribs.

I'm not kidding. Oh my God. It's bad there right now. Wow. Watch now all these like people, hundreds of thousands of people are listening, aren't gonna go to New York. I mean, it's a little crazy there. No, I have heard that.

I'm scared. I like it. Yeah, things need to change in all these cities to make it safer. It's crazy. It's gone to the point where it's like, no, more, we need to. I know. It's not good. Yeah.

Yes. So, I thought I'd bring up something positive just so that people... I'm talking about my doiders and I'm like, you're going to get assaulted if you come to New York. Anyway, so back to my kids. Tell me some of like your grade. So what was like your big break? Like when did you go, I can do this for a living

and be successful. Has it happened yet? Oh my God, you're so fun. This podcast, being here today has made me know I can do this. I don't know what the big thing was. I honestly think when I started doing the road and making some money, like even if it were like $500, like just knowing that I could make money and survive, made me know that

I can do this. But there's been some experiences that have really just been highlights for me. Even when I was at the Comedy Cellar on a Tuesday night at midnight, and I'm on stage for like 20 people making $25, and I'm getting heckled from the back of the room. You're amazing, you're a star. And I look out and it's Robin Williams,

who is my idol, because he was a quick fire, you know, that's how I am on stage. I'm so crazy on stage. And I look out and it's him. And I got off stage and he was hugging me saying, you're gonna be a star, you're amazing, don't ever stop doing what you're doing. And I was like doubting myself at the time

and going through a hard time. And things like that, you know, those, or I couldn't get a comedy special, which was to me insane. Yeah. Everyone else was getting specials, and I had been doing it 20, what, 21 years, and then Bill Burk called me out of nowhere and said, I want to produce a special for you. This was three years ago.

I mean, it's crazy. That's awesome. I'm like, where can people watch that special? Well, it was on once, on Comedy Central, but it's on the app where they can watch it on Amazon. Oh, okay, cool. But, you know, he just put me on something for Netflix in May. I mean, he, Netflix hasn't given me anything

and he just called and said, I put you on my special, on a special I'm doing in May. It's like, comics have always helped me. Yeah. Thank God. That's great. I'm sure you get it too. Comics have always thought of have always helped me. Thank God. That's great. And I'm sure you get it too. Comics have always thought of me and helped me.

So I'm filming my own crowd work special now. Oh good. And I'm going to put it out if it doesn't get picked up. So I'm all up for you doing that. I'm doing that the comedy seller. So I just keep filming 15 minute sets where I only do crowd work. And I'm putting a special. Oh, that's great.

So it'll be a different nights though. All the nights like 10 sets. I only do crowd work and I'm putting a special special. Oh, that's great. So it'll be a different nights though. All the different nights like 10 sets. I love it. Yeah. Where I only do crowd work and the ones I filmed are just hysterical. Yeah. I mean, one of them I sing with a band. I'm singing gospel. It's crazy. And so, okay. So now what's some of your worst experiences that you thought I might have to quit doing this? There's a lot. I know you'd have them too. But I had bottles thrown at me.

I mean, literally, I was a little bit like you. A guy, a French tourist. I was at the improv in New York years and years ago, and he just did not like my standup. Nothing, there was no warning. He literally just did not like what I was saying. It wasn't even offensive.

This was years ago. And he just was like, you know, said something in French and grab bottles off of his, people leave that. I'm a woman like, did you duck it? Yes, I was ducking and I just, and I had had it and took one and threw it back at him.

And he ducked and I hit a Swedish woman. It was all tourist there. It was a midtown. And I hit her and she started yelling Swedish woman. It was all tourist there. It was a midtown. And I hit her and she started yelling at me. It was so crazy. Oh my God. Then they escort me out to my car. What God.

I think I would have peed in my pants out of fear. I was petrified to walk out of the club. I had an experience like three weeks ago in Minnesota where I was performing and this guy didn't laugh at one thing I said, he didn't laugh at any comics and I was like doing some Jewish material and I looked at him and I'm like, what are you a Nazi and he goes, yep, this is a true story.

I put a clip on TikTok. I put a clip on TikTok and it went viral and they took it down. I knew they were going to take it down because he was literally admitted he was a Nazi. I still have the clip. I'll send it to you. Like a Nazi in America. He's a Nazi. Literally said I am a Nazi. Oh my god. Yep. Monatsy and I said you're I said I'm actually impressed. I wasn't joking that you're admitting it because most people don't admit it. He was a white guy, you know,

just a typical 20-something-year-old white guy. And I said, I'm impressed, you're admitting it. Like I'm not saying that as a joke because most people would be like, no, I'm not. And I said, well, you know, I said, okay, well, I'm Jewish and, you know, I obviously, I'm saying that so you must be like, whatever needs just keeping a straight face. And I was, I wanted to kill him,

but I was also petrified, obviously, because he was sitting on the left side and I had to walk down the stairs and I kept having this visual of him jumping up from the seat and attacking me. Even though I wanted to kill him. Yeah. I really wanted to kill him.

And so I kept saying stuff to him. I'm like, I wonder why you guys hate us so much. I'm like, I don't know what we ever did besides succeed. I say that on stage sometimes. I'm like, so that must be why. It must bother you a lot that we've just never back down and never, you know, we just succeed. It we kept succeeding and doing well. That must be really enraging that even after all the people that you've killed and all

the people you want to, we've just kept plugging away and succeeding and doing well. And then I said, and then I was a joke, I a joke didn't work or something like, oh, that joke didn't work. I'm like, well, you kill me. I'm like, I'm serious, where you kill me. And he goes, he goes, no, I'm not gonna kill you. And I go, what a pussy. It was amazing.

I'm like, you're saying you're a Nazi and you won't kill me. I'm like, you're such a pussy. And people were dying laughing and they started clapping. I'm like, you're really a pussy. I'm like, you're a Nazi and you won't kill me. Was he like, with a girl or anything? Like with guys and his friends were furious with him. Now people listening, I think this is insane

what I'm saying, but I've been doing comedy for 23 years and I'm burnt out. I do 15 to 20 shows a week. I do a lot of stand up. Yeah. I mean, maybe sometimes 10, but I'm burnt out. Yes. I'm on the road. I'm in Minnesota at the mall of America. Oh, this is like my fifth show of the weekend. I did that. I did that. It's a lot. And this guy saying he's a Nazi. And I'd had it at this point. You know, there is no sales tax though. If you want to shop after to make sure, feel better. I knew there wasn't sale.

And there is no sales tax though if you want to shop after to make sure feel better. I knew there wasn't sale. You're so funny. Okay, go on, guess. And I had it. Yeah. And I, you know, I'm proud of being Jewish. Yes. And I was furious and enraged.

And I don't take it lightly when someone says there, and I don't care. I mean, I knew he wasn't going to attack me. And there was also a huge table of black people that were ready to I'm not kidding they were so we got your back we are going to they were screaming out were the security at the club nervous that this point I'd be doing a race like the manager the way I handled it it's hard to explain because of everything I'm saying yeah but the way I handled it it was very funny it doesn't sound funny the way describing it.

People were hysterically laughing. His friends were laughing hysterically. He looked furious, but his friends were dying laughing. The crowd was laughing. I'm making it sound very serious, but it came off very funny. Like I was making it funny. And this whole table was ready to pounce him.

Like they were like, we got your back. We'll walk you out. We're gonna, like he was petrified he was petrified but I did have a visual of him jumping me so I I was a little like yeah just walking off stage not after the show wow but I was I was like I wanted to kill him you know when you say what for what succeeding, that is how I remember being very young and my mom explaining like World War II

and Nazi Germany and she said, well, they wouldn't let the Jews own property. So they had to use their brains. So they are the best education. So you want buy in a neighborhood where there's a lot of Jews because that public school will be interesting.

You know, I just remember that. Always being like that. Yeah, the way she would just work Catholic, but that's the way she described it too. Like, you know. That's an interesting thing to say, because yes, education is very important. It is. They couldn't be farmers. That's what she told me. I yes, we education is very important. It is.

They couldn't be farmers. That's what she told me. I mean, now it's a great one. No, it's that's that. That's so they had to be the jewelers, the chemists, that all those things. That's very true. I mean, it's, I think a lot of it is just envy. And, you know, it's weird.

It's not even understood. I never could get it. And even when I found a little bit of prejudice about Jewish people, I remember it just shocked me. It's bad. And I remember like the only time I ever heard it was, I was in college and this girl I knew said, how can you, how did you guys handle living in the valley and I go oh? I yeah, it's 10 degrees hotter than this. This is when people are very snobby about the valley

So I that yes see so there were a lot of new port people and whatever and I go Oh, I know it's 10 degrees hotter, but we had a pool an air conditioning. I literally thought that's what she's bringing up Right and she goes no all the Jews that live there. Yeah, and air conditioning. I literally thought that's what she's bringing up. Right. And she goes, no, all the Jews that live there. Yeah. And I was like, I, I was like, I, I, I your joking, right? I never, it never crossed my mind. I never thought about it. And I'm like, she said a little bit more like, yeah, we had to move, you know, and I was like, I was horrified and I told people what she said because I was like, she is a racist. I'm like, she is awful. Like I was like, that is the weirdest thing.

I'm like, yeah, we had Jewish neighbors. We had Persian neighbors. We had Black neighbors. We had Chinese neighbors. I was like, what do you, like, I didn't realize like when you grow up in a city with diversity and stuff that in other places, even if they're home on Genius, they can be lovely and open minded, but in some places, it can breed because they don't see anything other than exactly themselves. So then when they see it, they're like, it's really sad. Well, it's interesting what you're saying saying because I experienced that a lot in New York and L.A. And Chicago people go, there's people aren't anti-Semitic.

People don't like Jews. I'm like, no, you're not understanding. Like, because you're here. Yeah. You think that, and I get it. It's okay, but like I travel all over the country. Right. People don't. It's okay, but like you're here. Yeah.

So you don't, yes, in a lot of places. And I'm not even religion. I mean, I was brought, I went to Hebrew school, I was about Mitzvah, but I'm very not religion. Like I'm not Orthodox, I'm not conservative. There's levels, and I'm at the lower, much lower, but I'm very proud to be Jewish. And it's important to me, the cultures, the traditions,

and I'm proud of it, and I will fight for it. And it is extreme, the anti-Semitism. It's bad right now, like bad. I know, it's just horrific and baffling, just baffling really. I just am like so bizarre to me, you know? But that's crazy, that's very scary. I mean, I have not had only one time

was I performing at Atlantis in the Bahamas. Oh yeah, I've been there. And I got to perform that. I loved it because we, these kids, and they were younger back then. So I was like, we were all about the water slides, and I put up a, and I was performing in this some guy screamed out, I wanna shoot you in the head.

That was like, what? You know? And I did it right away and this was like, probably seven years ago or something. And I was like. That was seven years ago? Yeah, and I was like, can you, I don't know, like, can security,

like I did was immediately like security. That's, that is amazing. Yeah, and I don't think he had a gun. I think he was just like drunk or something. I mean, it is a casino situation. So you get, anytime you're performing tonight, it's a real, you're getting a random or a mix, or if you're in Vegas, you're getting like,

very international, you're getting all kinds of people. When you go to different cities, you know the Chicago crowd is gonna kill it. You know, you know, this one's gonna be a little more like that. And sometimes you sort of, I do a little, you probably don't, because you're like, you're good as fuck. But sometimes I know like,

oh, this joke will be really well, we're still know I'm on their side with this one. I do that everywhere I go, you know. I don't want them to think of this, so I'm gonna do this. I do everywhere I go. I do that everywhere I go. I don't want them to think of this. I'm gonna do this. Everywhere I go, I think like that. I don't wanna make it harder for myself. Trust me.

I'm the same exact way. But if I heard that from a man in the audience, I would freak out. Yeah. I would freak out. So I don't blame you. That would make you really... That was fine.

I'm just, you know, mostly people that go see my shows only once in a while will, and sometimes people were like, I've said this a million times, but when people go, I'm gonna come see you and I'm dragging my husband. And I said to the audience, stop saying you're dragging your husband, because if your husband got you tickets to see Chris Rock, you'd get a blowout and be super excited to go.

So why don't you change the narrative to your husband and be like, you're gonna love this girl, we're gonna go see, if you love me and you like my sense of humor, you're gonna love seeing this funny girl, we're gonna go see. And so now they do that and they're like, my husband did love it.

And I'm like, you're not helping the cause, you're not. If you have to, if you think that men won't, like give him a little more credit, I'm like because, you're not helping the cause. You're not. If you have to, if you think that men won't, like give him a little more credit, I'm like, because, you know, it's so right, Heather, it is, I'm dragging my husband. Yes. Yes.

I'm gonna force my husband to come see you. It's gonna be torture, but I'm really gonna just make that. Yeah. Or they're like, I don't know what to do, none of my girlfriends can go. I'm like, okay, like first of all, you can come along because you'll meet a bunch of people here.

Yeah. But I'm also like, so what, you know what, and I don't think my husband will like it or something. And I'm like, you're so worried that your husband's not gonna be 100% pleased for 90 minutes. Right. I'm like, so you've never gone to a sports thing or never been, you've never been at something that your husband's taking you to and not like loved every second.

No, but you go. I'm so glad that you're saying that. That's very important. You're really putting, I'm serious. You're really putting an incredible message out. I'm really at the end. That is so true. Because I do, I look out now and I do see since I've been like sending that message out. I'm really, like, that is so true. Because I do, I look out now and I do see, since I've been like sending that message out,

I do see a lot more men and even young men and stuff that I'm like, they'll, funny as funny, like they're, they're not, you know, and especially if, if you in like, tell your husband, like, I know you're going to love it love it like I just think sometimes they're afraid that when they see some of the more The bigger name female comics if they catch them or they're comic and it and it's very male bashing I think that's why a woman goes oh god I don't want to bring my husband and have them fucking bitch about it tomorrow Mm-hmm, and so then I so then part of me has to be like listen. I don't mail bash. Yeah, I am married to one. I'm raising two.

Like I understand what we have to deal with in life. Yeah. We deserve a medal. But I'm also not like, man, our piece of shit. And I'm not gonna tell you know the horrific stories. But like, you know, but I'm also like, give the guy a little more credit. He should probably, you know, he'll like it.

He'll be fine. No, I'm glad you see that. Yeah, he'll like it. He'll be fine. No, I'm glad you see that. Yeah, because it's true. It's important that you're sending all that. Yeah, because that's so much of that is it, you know, with the female comments and people of all different, you know, races and everything where, yes, you might like somebody that is just like you, because their life stories and their point of view might be like you.

Like a lot of, if you go to my show, a lot of women look like me in the audience. It's a similar thing, but it doesn't mean that they can't absolutely love the most different person from them too. So I think sometimes people get wrapped up in that. Yeah, I think so too. Yeah, it's just comedy.

Like it's fun comedy like you know It's fun to hear people's different points of view that are different than yours. Yeah, yeah, that's it's so it is important Yeah, and I think people are always surprised at what they think might find funny. Yeah Yeah, so it's a good time to go see comedy it is Girl tell everybody where they can follow you, where they can see you, because I know you have a lot of shows and everything. I do.

I'm on tour. They can go to jescocurson.com. It's K-I-R-S-O-N. And I'm on TikTok. I post a lot of those crowd work every day. I post a crowd work video. I love the TikTok. Yeah.

TikTok is Jessica Kerson. And Instagram is Jesse Kerson, J-E-S-S-Y Kerson. And yeah, I have a podcast called Disgusting Hawk, which I do a lot of character stuff on it and I have people on it all the time, a lot of female comics. I always try to help the female comics because we need, we need all the help we can get. And I just love you. I think you're, you're amazing. You're so real and down to earth. And I just love you. I think you're amazing. You're so real and down-to-earth. And you know what I want to say, which is really important,

is you're so, I've always thought this about you. You're so naturally funny. You know, I don't know if people tell you that a lot, but I mean, a lot of comics are funny, but you're very naturally funny. Thanks. I've always thought that about you. I am exactly what I am on stage or on the point.

You are. I am that normal. You are. I am that normal. We are. And that's when you say people go, of course you become one of my friends from childhood and stuff. They go, I'll tell my friends, no, she was exactly like that,

at the sorority house in high school, whatever. Well, that's why you're successful. Because I think the people that are the most successful are the most real in their art as they are off stage. I think those are, for the most part, the most successful are the most real in their art as they are off stage. Like I think those are for the most part. Well that's how it felt bad for comics that you know put on a straight persona on stage. Yeah. And had straight stories but we knew they were gay.

Like and I was like that was suck. Yeah. Like what if I had to get on stage and act like I had a girlfriend. Like that'd be a hard thing to fake. I know. You know what I mean? That would be a really hard thing to fake for me. Like, oh, so my wife and I are, you know, like that would be so weird.

I would see me with evil eyes. I'm bad for anybody. Yeah, that's why I feel bad. And there has been years and years and years of people that had to do that. You know, so it's like, yeah, but when people say what it is, I'm like just don't think of what is popular. Like if you see other girls that look like you and they're doing one thing, like being really dirty or whatever, and that's their provocative, provocative. I do that too.

But I'm saying like, no, I always say, what is unique about you? What's your thing? That's what I say. You're the only one that has your grandparents, you're the only one that grew up in your house with your family dynamic, with your point of view, with your weird school experience. Like, those are the things, those are the jokes that don't can steal from you. Yep. You know what people are talking about? People who are always gonna accuse of stealing a joke because they're like, I have a Tinder joke just like that. Fuck yeah, who doesn't? Right, make it your own.

Yeah, you have to. Yeah. Also, that's the only way you'll be remembered. We need to know who you are when you get off stage. Who are you? Yes. Yeah. It can't just be your opinion of something. We need to know who you, I mean, those are really the most successful people.

Like, when we, people want to be friends with you. What's your story? Right. I don't know. That's who I laugh the most at. Yes, totally. People you get to know the most. Yeah, exactly.

Well, I love having you come out from New York. Everyone's going to follow you. Have a good time. Thank you. Bye. Bye. everyone's gonna follow you have a good time. Thank you. Bye. Bye.