just a little shady - The Next Generation of Motherhood - Ep. 12

Episode Date: February 27, 2026

Alaina announces her pregnancy in this special motherhood focussed episode! This weeks episode is brought to you by Cozy Earth! Go to https://cozyearth.com/shady and get up to 20% off! Join the Patreon to see exculsive JALS content & watch the podcast ad-free: patreon.com/justalittleshadypodcast Submit your Season 4 Shady Stories here: https://forms.gle/J2DxaPzncPnYVVq98 Subscribe to our youtube channel: https://www.youtube.com/c/justalittleshadypodcast Follow us on instagram: https://www.instagram.com/justalittleshadypodcast/ Watch us on Tiktok: https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZTR6yk19Q/ Get home inspiration @ hailiejadehome on Instagram and TikTok #JustALittleShady #hailiejade #podcast Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Hello and welcome back to the podcast. This week we are back with a very special guest. Actually, technically two guests. Elena's back on the podcast. Hey, I'm back. And you're also here with my niece growing a whole human. A whole human. So a lot has happened since the last time you were on the podcast.

We have lots to catch up on. Mainly I want to talk about my niece. So we'll get into some of those things. But yeah, what's going on? We had to get you on before you pop, before you have your baby again. Again. Not again, not again.

I mean, before basically you're so busy, you can't come on. This is true. This is true. Seeing you become a mom, I've seen how busy you are. So glad we got to get on before she's here because I can't say when the next time I'd be able to get on. Yeah, so we're expecting. We're very excited. telling everybody was really huge for us, even though you kind of ruined it.

I did. Oh, my gosh. Yeah, I guess we should talk about that first. I kind of forgot I did that. I don't know what it was. I swear it was sister telepathy because you did the same thing to me. When I was pregnant, she kept grilling me and I'm like, woman, like, why do you expect this? She was out of town for so long. So I'm like, great, I don't have to see her. I don't have to lie in person. But somehow she's still new. And I still lied to her and she never lets me forget it. But I kind of did the same thing to you. I was having telepathy.

I'm like, I know it. She's pregnant. And then you caved and told me before you were going to tell me originally. Yeah. So when you told us the same day, I literally lifted up your shirt, which I don't know what I was expecting to see. And I was like, are you pregnant? And you were like, what? No.

And then obviously, like, you told us not long after. And I was like, what the hell? Like, I knew it. But for you, when I wanted to tell you, I wanted to surprise you and make something special, cute, whatever. But you kept, you were like, are you pregnant? And I was like, what? Like, I had just watched your dogs for you. And I was like, does she know?

Like, is she like watching me in the house or something? Like, what's going on? How does she know? I'm like, she's not even, you weren't even in town either. So I was like, I, I was like, I. I told you sooner than I wanted to because I wanted to tell you with like something cuter. And but I was like, you're going to grill me. We had a birthday party.

And I was like, you're going to be like, let's take a shot here. Try my drink. And normally you don't share drinks at all. So I was like, this is going to be the one time where you're going to be like, does this taste funny to you or something? And if I denied it, you'd be like, okay, I know something's up. Okay, well, to be fair, to start, I don't think normally you should like ask people if they're pregnant. We talked about this so much. We did. But like we don't count because we're sisters.

So it's like we know each other's journey. So it's like fine if we ask. And that was the one thing I was like if and if this was anyone else, I wouldn't have even asked. But it like popped into my head and I'm like, I need to know right now. And so I did ask. And then you thought I was going to ask you about the drink thing because you did that to me. Yeah. We were on FaceTime. We weren't even together. It was like 11 a.m. And she goes, I know you're pregnant. Take a shot. I go, it's 11 a.m.

You're not even here. Like, no. So I got away with it at that time. But I wasn't going to do it to you. And the thing is, if I wouldn't have had Elliot at the party, because she ended up telling me, like, well, we were at a party. Like, I went outside with Elliott and she came out and told me. But if we were, if Elliot wasn't there, I would have been grilling you.

But I was so distracted. Yeah, you were really occupied. I truly did not realize what was going on in the moment. And then, like, as soon as I saw, like, you walk outside while I was outside, I'm like, she's pregnant. Like, I just knew it. Yeah, so I ended up doing the cousins crew onesies for my baby and your baby. And that's, like, how I told you.

But I had, like, this whole grand idea. I had how I wanted to tell you. And obviously, you ruined that. And I had to tell you because I was nervous. Like Matt kept saying like, you don't have to tell her yet. Like order whatever you want. And I was like, no, I said, because you text me and you're like, are you pregnant? And I was like, no, I'm drinking wine right now.

And you're like, okay, well, is it an A wine? And I was like, no. Come on. Let me live. Like, you're not even with me. It was just a feeling. It was just a feeling. I knew.

I just knew it in my soul. And it's funny too because I feel like we always have dreams about each other. too like you said you had a dream i feel like i was having dreams and i'm like okay this must be i don't know what it is it's very weird it's very very very can't explain it um but no you had other cute ideas for you told stevie at my house i kind of ruined the video like heavy breathing um she did she's like i'm like i was so nervous i don't know why like i got secondhand nervous when you were telling her and i thought i was being too obvious with the recording so i was breathing so heavy and you're like yeah maybe next time don't um breathe into the camera i can't even share this

it's ridiculous it was actually i was wearing this hat so this hat says um cool mom's club and i have a hat that says cool aunts club so obviously like i got that for when elliott was born and i had on an outfit and i was like stevie like which hat do you like better this one and then i changed i put the other hat on and she's like oh probably like that one and i don't even remember which one she said And I was like, really? I was like, well, what about like what they say? And she's like squints and gets a little closer. And she's like, cool mom's club, cool aunts club.

Yeah, probably cool mom's club. I was like, oh, I was like, do you get it? She's like, oh my God, no. She goes, I just thought you like taking care of Elliott. She literally still didn't get like after she read it. She thought like Elena was basically saying like, I'm Elliot's mom too. So she was like, oh, okay. Like she was probably like, that's too much.

She said, well, that one looks better with your outfit too. And I'm like, but do you get it? And like right over her head. I was like, I don't know how to be more obvious, to be honest. Yeah. No, that was a good idea. And she got it. Yeah.

And then with Adam, you did the Pokemon card. Yep. So he really likes Pokemon. So I got him like a little like mini Pikachu card that said something about it. He keeps it like right next is. bad like by his nightstand. He's waiting until she's here. I thought it was cool that you did different things for everyone. I feel like I was just, I needed to get it off my chest. So I just waited until we were all together and did like one thing. So I'm like, I just need everyone to know right now. I don't

know how people keep it like a seat. I could barely keep it. It was very hard lying to you. Well, you could only do it because I wasn't in town. That's true. That's true. Yeah, even like when I found out, like Matt wasn't the first person that I told. Really? Yeah. So I found out and I called Marissa right away. And Matt was, I was waiting for him to leave to go to work. I heard the garage close.

And then of course he comes back in and I'm like, oh, my God. Like, he's going to hear me. Yeah. And normally he just leaves for the day. So I called her, told her, and I was waiting because I wanted to surprise him at our new house that we're building. So we do have a pretty big gear. but I wanted to tell him at our house. So I was waiting for a specific day.

I was waiting for to be able to do it at our house. So I literally ordered like the baby balloons in like a cream color I wanted. The dollar tree or dollar store, they don't blow up balloons anymore. So I was like, oh my God, like where am I going to get these blown up? I asked you if you had a helium tank. You're like, no, like I don't think I do. And maybe you did. I don't remember.

Or maybe you weren't in town. I don't remember. But I was scrambling to get those done. I finally got those blown up. I go out to our house. As I'm walking up to the driveway to set up, because we're supposed to go to dinner later this evening, one of the contractors who was at the house was like,

oh, like, your letter's flying away. No. I was like, oh, my God. So I scrambled and I was texting air calls like, I got to find, like, obviously I can't do the cream ones anymore. I have to do gold or silver. Whatever I can find. So I drove all the way back to like this side of town, found somewhere that had them,

drove all the way back to the house, set up. I had to lie to Matt and I was like, hey, like we have to meet like our builder out there. But that was a cool like thing to do. I feel like. Oh, I was sweating. I was scrambling. I was sweating. It's kind of like a proposal, but like.

I felt like I was proposing. Yeah, you've got the pressure on you. So we had Erica there. So I had to push back the time. because I was running late because I had to go. I hadn't showered yet. Like my hair was on top of my head. Like I needed to get ready.

And so I was like, hey, like they pushed it back. And he's like, it's a Friday. Like, why are they pushing it back? Like he's mad at the builder. He was pissed the whole time. He's like they better be there on time. Like, um, so we get there and Erica's car is there. So he thinks that they're there.

That's the contractor. Yeah. So at this point, we don't even have drywall. Okay. Like we just have like the framing. The studs. Yeah. So I like hurry up and get in.

inside the house and I blindfold him. I was like, here, hold on and I blindfold him. And so I'm like, he's like, what? I'm like, this is actually a surprise for you. I got a surprise for you. He thought, again, we don't even have drywall. This man thought we got a golf simulator. Already set up.

Already set up. Nothing else is done in the house, but that is there. So I'm like leading him. That's leave it to men right over his head. I'm like, why would that be what I got you right now? is a surprise. I don't know. Like we've been designing the house,

so I thought maybe that's what it was. He could hope. Yeah. I'm like, no, not a chance right now. Like, let's get drywall first. So I lead him into the bedroom, which is going to be our baby's room. And I had him take off the blindfold.

Erica's there taking pictures. And the best part is that even though she was there, we had no drywall. He had no clue she was even there. So it was kind of like we had like our own little moment, even though she was. capturing it. And again, we don't have walls. Like, you can see her standing there. I go, Eric is here and he goes, oh my God. Like, so needless to say, not only was he surprised

Erica was there, but he was surprised that we were pregnant too. Yeah, that's cute. I wished I would have done that, but there was no chance. I literally, when I found out, just ran down the stairs. I'm like, what does this say? What does this say? Oh, okay, let me try again. Took 500. You didn't do that. But yeah, I maybe in the future, I will try to do that, but I don't know if I have it in me. Also, you guys, it was a surprise you did the gender reveal and you waited to find out with everybody. Yep. How did you do?

I, again, me and Evan set up the phone and just opened it together and looked because I was like, I need to know as soon as it gets in. What's wrong with me? Like, I literally, I'm not good with surprises like that. I was anxious. Don't get me wrong. but we plan it so that as soon as we found out, like, a couple days after that or maybe, like, the next day or something was the gender reveal. So we didn't have to, like, wait too long.

Like, I don't know. I had a feeling it was a girl the whole time. Did you have dreams or anything? Yeah, I had one dream that it was a girl. And then for, we went and got massages. And the lady was like, oh, like you're pregnant. Like, she's like, I have a feeling it's a boy. And this was, like, the week of our gender reveal.

And I was like, maybe it's a boy. So for like one second, I like contemplated that maybe it was a boy. And I really wanted a girl. But then at the same time, obviously you have Elliott. So I'm like, oh, that would be so cool. Like if we had like boy cousins, not that like girl cousin like girl boy. They'll still be besties. But it's just a little different.

Right. And so I was like, but it would be really cool if they were both boys because like, you know, then. And a lot of our friends like that even that you met like Erica like have boys. Most of our friends have boys. Most of our friends have boys. So I feel like you're, I remember asking you like, what do you want? You're like, well, I always like pictured a girl, but you guys all have boys. Like I just feel, but I feel like maybe you're, you'll start the trend, hopefully.

And now next. That's what you want. That's what I'm hoping that like, then it will sway and it will go back and forth. I feel like that does happen for some reason. It does. It like goes in waves. There was like a whole year where everybody was just having boys and then it was like mixed and. Yeah.

So that, I mean, that'll be exciting. I was so excited. I mean, I was so excited. Obviously, no matter what you had, I was going to be excited because, like you said, I was like, oh, if it's a boyfriend's. But now because I don't have a boy, I'm like, well, now I can spoil a girl and do all the girl things, too. She's moving right now. Is she? Yeah.

Dude, that's insane. That's the other things. So, like, what has your experience been so far? Because I know, like I said for mine, I really had no symptoms or anything in the beginning. I really never did. I mean, once they're moving around, then, you know, for sure. But, like, up until then, like, what has your experience? experience been. I remember you had migraines a couple times where you had to put like yeah that's

typical I mean that was before pregnancy too so I didn't think anything of it you're like this is just my life that's just life yeah unfortunately um yeah I didn't really have like honestly this whole pregnancy has been I feel bad saying it almost but like it's been great to be honest like yeah I mean obviously I still have some time to go a lot can change um but I really wouldn't know like I was pregnant I mean I have a belly now, so, like, I know that part in the movements. But other than that, like, I didn't have any morning sickness. I wasn't, like, extremely tired. Like, I would do, like, in the first trimester, I would do a couple things. And then I'd be like, okay, like, I just need to rest or like, it would be like. Just more tired than anything. Yes, but no. Like, it'd be like 9.30. And I'd be like,

I'm falling asleep during the show. Sorry, Matt. We're like, normally we'd be up till, like, 1130 midnight. So, but like nothing crazy where it was like, I have to take a nap. Like, I still had movement. I still was working out. I still was doing a bunch of stuff. I've had really bad acid reflux so she better have like a full set full nice head of hair I need to look up if that myth is true or not because I remember everyone saying that I got it but kind of at the like right before but you've had it for a while now oh my whole pregnancy but entire thing I feel like you have a lot of hair so maybe she will yeah I mean I'm not doing like I'm eating acidic food still like I'm like oh give me like you're not gonna not and you're not gonna not and That's ridiculous. Hops the sauce. And so I'm not doing anything to help my case. Yeah.

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your moon for the day to feel a little more intentional, go to cozy earth.com and use my code shady for up to 20% off. That's code shady for up to 20% off. Experience the craft behind the comfort and make every day feel intentional. Thank you to Cozy Earth for sponsoring today's episode. Are you because I feel like I was so in my mind, I could not picture what he was going to look like. And like randomly I would get so much anxiety. Like what is this baby going to look like? Like I had to stop myself from using like AI technology to put us together to see what the baby was going to look like. I was so nervous. I don't know why.

It was just like I couldn't picture. Like I would dream about him, but I wouldn't like see his face clearly. Is that like something that you think about regularly or you're not there yet? I just want her to be cute. Like I think about that. Like I'm like, is she going to be cute? Like, I don't know. Like newborns typically like kind of look like aliens.

Yeah. and I was not a cute newborn whatsoever. But they grow and they change so much. Like Elliot's changed so much. I mean, and he's your twin. So we really didn't need to do any AI. Like he looks just like you. Well, as soon as he came out, I was like, oh, okay, yeah, that adds up like DNA.

Yeah. Makes sense. But I don't know why. I was so nervous. But when he came out, the first thing out of my mouth was his poor head. Yeah. Because his freaking head went into a cone. and they were like, it's fine, it's fine, it'll go to normal.

But like it took like probably a week or at least a few days. And I was like, at first I was like, oh no. Like I was so worried that like it wasn't. They put the hat on the like on him right away. So covered it up. Yeah, covered it up. But like at first I was like, oh, his poor head. Like literally looks like a little alien.

But yeah, it happens. But anyways, he turned out fine. Yeah, thank God. That's good. Yeah, no. And another thing, too, I remember, do you get the question all the time? What are your cravings?

Yeah, like, I don't know. Am I supposed to just, I will say, the only cravings that I've had, they were, they're not even cravings, really. I just want things that, like, I used to have, like nostalgic wise, I guess. Like, I'm like, maybe mac and cheese, maybe, like, but it's nothing specific.

It's just things like childhood things that I would eat. That happened to me, too. And I feel like every time I say it to like our friends who have had kids, they're like, wait, me too. Like mine was cereal a lot. You loved cereal. I still randomly eat cereal now. Like it started back when I was pregnant and now I'm like, I still want it. There's no rules.

Okay. I can do what I want. That. And then I feel like a lot of people too that we know said like ramen noodles. Oh, I bought some of those. They're just sitting in the pantry just in case. Really? Because I was like, oh, you might look good.

Yeah. Yeah. I feel like that's what it is. Like, what I. whatever you used to eat as a kid is what you want while you're growing a kid it's very weird and maybe that's why kids come out and want all those foods maybe I didn't like coffee I couldn't drink coffee the entire first trimester I always want to call it semester but it's not it's not a semester it's a trimester yeah yeah no not quite yeah no coffee and what else are there any other versions

you had I feel like that was the main thing though like when people found out I was pregnant that was the first thing out of their mouth and I'm just like I don't know like we never talked about food before it's weird I don't why are we talking about food people's urge to just touch your belly really yeah like I've had random people just be like oh and then they'll be like oh sorry and I'm like yeah like why are you doing that oh no I would never like and okay so I'm talking like friends family and like acquaintances where I'm like I've even had strangers be like oh my god it's so cute and I'm like thanks but like you don't need to touch me like I don't know yeah I feel like some people have talked about that I always wore huge clothes so no one knew in real life that I was pregnant really

when I went out and I remember going somewhere and I was like probably a week away and I just I have on like this huge hoodie and it was when wolf was having anxiety and we took him to the vet and I was like listen sir we need to get this under control I'm having a baby in like two weeks And he goes, you are? And he, like, double looks at me. But that's weird, too. And I'm like, yes. And he's like, oh, you don't look pregnant.

I'm like, okay, it's under this hoodie. You think I'm lying? Like, figure out what's wrong by that. I'm not about to show you my belly. Like, just trust me. I don't know. But also, like, what if it was through something? Like, I don't know.

It's just like a weird comment to me. Yeah. Right? Like, I don't know. Very weird. But yeah, that was some of my experiences, too. Now, so you've got, you're growing a child, you're growing my knees. Yeah.

And you're building a house. Yep. How's that going? That's, I feel like you are the person. And we talked about this the last time you came on the podcast where you have to do 1,000 things at one time. I don't choose it. It just happens to me, I feel like.

It naturally occurs. It does. So we had been trying to get pregnant for a while. And then I actually opened up a business. We were in the midst of building our house, and Matt was still in school. So he finally graduated with his bachelor's. So we did have a lot going on. Obviously, like, you had Elliott.

He was like in his first few months. Like, we had a lot going on. And so we are still building our house. Still happening, even though all those things that I just mentioned have gone by, finished. Well, it took longer than you guys originally planned. because obviously like you weren't thinking it was going to take that long i feel like i don't want to say i tried to warn you but i did say in the beginning it always takes longer like no matter what this obviously your situation is like a little bit different but it always takes longer than you think

it's going to be by like so long to do any kind of house project yeah um but maybe that honestly I was, maybe that's our, like, runs in our family because I decided to do Brittany's house project while I was literally about to have Elliott. Like, why do we do? Like, something is wrong with us? But the business thing, too, yeah. The business thing, too, though, you kind of already, like, you'd been working toward that for a while. And then obviously it just kind of happened at once. All came together at once, so to speak.

which again like we even like sold our house moved into an apartment because we thought we'd be in our house already and it's funny we were just talking the other day we're like we could have just stayed in our house because we've been here almost two years now like yeah that's insane okay it's like a year and a half it's a little dramatic um but it feels like two years that's for sure yeah um so it's a little stressful like not knowing like are we going to be bringing her home to our apartment are we going to be bringing her home to our house are we going to be moving with like a one month old, a one week old, the one day year old. Yeah.

We don't really know. Are you feeling like the nesting situation kicking in and you're like, I don't know where to nest? I think it's that, but it's also like so many things of like we have to pack up our apartment no matter what, right? So it's like, do I do that now? Do I wait? Yeah.

Do I, um, you know, everyone's like, it's a nursery done. I'm like, you guys, like I'm just worried. I don't even have. kitchen yet like I don't have well that was a thing too and I feel like maybe I always try to tell you not just to alleviate the pressure but it's also true that like your baby does not need a nursery for at least I don't know six months seven months we didn't move Elliott out of our bedroom until seven months and he was still in a bassinet until then as well like which doesn't take up that much room so like I think that was I think outside forces that like maybe

haven't been in the situation recently like that's the first thing they think of too is like is the nursery done it's like yeah you don't need a nursery right now you literally don't you need a little bassinet in your room and that's it i know it's a couple bottle it feels like way more than that though like it it just does like and obviously like we don't need it but like even for example like even for example like when you're like oh are you nesting yet like i just told man i'm like we need to detail my whole car he's like what i'm like we need to get the car detailed i go she's not going to know that the car is clean or not, but it needs to be like tip top shape for her. Like I think that's a thing.

It's so weird and it's funny and weird because you hear about these things. And when you go through it, you're like, okay, wait, I'm actually doing that. And I kind of not made fun of people for that. But when people like show videos of it, you're like chill. You don't need to clean the baseboards. And then next thing you know, you have like the little vacuum and you're doing it. And you're like, why am I doing this? Like, it definitely is like a nature thing that goes on.

But like that is one thing that like I have to do. I had to take my dog to the vet the other day. Like it was like a must thing. Like he was due, but like it was like, I don't really have to take him like right this week exactly on the day he was due. And I was like, nope, he needs to go. Well, at this point, I feel like to kind of always, once you're in the third trimester, I feel like it's always in your head like any day.

It could happen at any time. so you pack your hospital. Like I remember I packed my hospital bag and then like I kept getting pissed because I'm like, where is that thing I need? And it'd be in the bag and then I have to like retake it out, then re-put it in. But it's like in your head that you have to have it ready to go just in case. Same with the dog. Well, Ellie, it did come early.

Like I tell Matt every day and like we don't know when she's going to come. Yeah. We literally don't. Like I mean, I want her to keep growing and cooking in there. But like it's her world at this point. I'm just living in it. Yeah, that's kind of how it works at that point. Yeah.

What about the business thing? So you're doing the aesthetician stuff still? Yep. So I opened up my own business in July, and that's been a lot of fun. I just had to like announce that like I'm not taking any new clients because. Too much going. Yeah, I need to be able to accommodate, like the clients that I have right now. And I'm only booking like month to month because again, like.

Right. You don't know. I don't know when she's coming. Yeah. So. And you're going to need. Time to just adjust. And yeah, maternity leave and, you know, if our house does get finished, like, I want to move, you know.

Yeah. But yeah, that's been great, too. I opened that up and that's been going well. And everything's just moving in a good direction, I guess, you know? Yeah. I'm so excited. What did you think when you first found out that you were having a girl? Like, were you like, many me always wanted it?

Were you, like, a little nervous? I feel like the thought of a girl is. so fun but i remember like just when i found out as having a boy like you hear all the things like boys are like crazy at first and all that like did you think like oh my gosh what like what am i getting into what am i i don't know what was your first thought no i guess i don't know like there's a lot of stuff like i just don't necessarily even know like being a mom obviously like i've never been a mom so just kind of like normal anxiety i guess in terms of like how do you give a baby a bath Like how do you, you know, like it wasn't necessarily like gender specific.

I know like, we keep calling her like my mini me and things like that. And Matt will be like, I'm like, or he'll be like, oh, she better not have an attitude or like whatever. I go, do you know her mother? Like, I'm like, come on. You're in her treat. That was like one of the first things I said. You were so, I mean, you've always like, you're to serve yourself. You were when we were younger too.

And that's why me and you used to fight all the time. But I think it's just funny because it's literally, you're going to be arguing with yourself. Like, you're arguing with the little you. I mean, I will be too. I would call you. Like, hey, come argue with her. In different ways.

You were good at it when we were younger. It's just going to be, like, different things to argue about than, like, and a lot of people say, like, at first, girls are easier, and then they get harder, and then at first, boys are harder, and then they get easier as they get bigger. But, like, it is just wild. Like, you're going to be arguing with them in you, and, like, I'm going to be.

be what having a good time honestly yeah I'm excited well we already said like Elliot's a Pisces you're a Pisces so I kind of got that in a way like yeah yeah and then I think it's like the year of like the horse or something too oh yeah like the fire horse or something and that means like what does that mean everyone's going to be really like determined and something very bold strong headed yeah we really got it add that in the mix and And we're in for a real treat. Maybe she'll be a little like world changer or something, you know. I'm sure she will.

No, I'm really excited. Yeah. It's going to be lots of fun. I don't know. Motherhood is busy. But I think if anyone can do it, I mean, you've got 100 projects right now. Nobody said I'm doing them well. I do have 100 projects.

Surviving. Yeah, I am. I'm in the survival. I feel like that is something that you just. learn as you go like when i don't know again i panicked i was like what am i doing you kind of just go into survival mode and now elliott's about to be a year old and uh we made it crazy yeah absolutely crazy we literally made it what how's being an aunt then it's honestly it's i love it i will say the hardest part i think for me is it's not even in relation to having like a nephew or a niece

so to speak, it's actually like letting you be a mom. Yeah. Like I have to like remind myself like, oh, she has a husband. And like Evan does a great job. Like totally. And he's capable and he can handle situations. But it's like, just let me do it. Like I'm your sister.

Like I know what to do. Like let me just take over. So to have to like step back and just be like, oh my God. Like she's doing her thing over there. Like she's raising a whole kid over there. She's got a family of her own, you know. I think that's a hard transition though. Like obviously I love Elliot.

I love seeing him. I love seeing him grow. Like, he's changed so much. And it's a, I don't say this in a bad way. It's so, it's cool now because he's older.

Yeah. Right? Like, he's got a personality. Like, when babies are born, they're just like little, like, they're so dependent on you. They,

like, they got like little smirks and things like that. Like, don't get me wrong. But now it's like he makes faces and he moves and he's ready to like, he's growing up. He's funny. He's got a personality, you know, like.

It is, I think, too. I think, I think that part is a reality check too because you come home and you're like expecting right away to be like, oh, this is my baby and lovey and cuddly and whatever. And you're in such survival mode that like that's really not the first thing on your mind. And on top of it, like you said, they're just babies. They just really need you and they're not like developing a personality at that time. So you're just like sleepless trying to keep this thing alive.

they don't really care left from Reuters and they can't even see you basically and you just have to like you like time your mom yeah like and that was a huge thing remember we i i would call lena like all the time how does he know i'm his mom like you're like are you sure i don't know i just would panic and obviously like we had a nick you stay so i think that like impacted that feeling for me because other people were involved yeah and it's still like i think just now hits me sometimes that like i'm I have to remind even Evan, I'm like, you know, like, we're the parents. We can do what we want. Like, if we want to go, like, I don't know, sit in the bed with him and, like, watch a TV show, we can do that.

We don't do that yet because, like, I'm, like, so weird about screens. But, like, tonight, for 15 minutes, I put on a cartoon. And I was, and we watched it. Yeah. And I was, like, this is crazy. Like, I could just choose that. Like, it's weird. You have to, like, remind yourself constantly.

Like when we took him to his first doctor's appointment, I'm like, they don't think this is my kid. And I don't even know, like, who am I in charge of? I'm telling them what to do with this child. It's a very weird feeling. I remember you saying, like, hey, we just took him with a doctor. And, you know, they're asking me these questions. And you're like, I'm looking around. Like, who are they asking?

Like, I can't be the adult that they're asking. It's a very weird feeling. But again, we've talked about how, like, we're definitely old enough. but for some reason we don't feel old enough to have kids. They're like literally teen pregnancies, but in our 30s. I feel like that when I got married though, too. Like, I'm like, am I old enough for this? But like, I'm old enough for all of these things that are happening, you know?

When you say my husband or I say my husband, I'm like, what? Ew. Like, we have husbands. I know. We just went to dinner for my birthday and I was, I looked at her and I said, I go, you know, life's great, but like, you know what sucks? I'm like, we have families of our own now. And I just want to, I just want you.

Like, I want to sit next to you at dinner. Like, I don't want to have to sit next to Evan because you're next to the baby. And you got to take care of Elliot. And you're like, no, it's fine. Sit next to me. And I was like, okay. No, well, that's what I'm saying. Like, we can make the rules.

We are adults. But sometimes I think there's just so much, like, outside noise and, like, expectations of, like, things that we think we're supposed to be doing. And I'm like, wait, what? No, we can watch TV. We can sit by to move the guys. Like, who can? Move the guys to the other side of the table.

Well, it's like we grow up our whole life living with each other. We shared a room, all these things. And then, you know, you go off to college and, like, that was fine because we didn't like each other during that stage. So I'm like, okay, like, no big deal, you know. But now it's like, well, wait, like, we talk on the phone like every day. Like, I want to see you. What are you doing?

It's like you don't appreciate those times when you're in. them and then now you look back and you're like, I wish we live together. Like now, now it would be cool to live together. Back then we didn't appreciate it and we just fought all the time. Like totally. I feel like that way about friends too. I'm like even when you're in college and you have like a roommate or something, I feel like you're so you're both living your own separate lives so much that it doesn't

really like matter that you're a roommate at that time. But now I'm like, I wish all my friends live together and we could just hang out and like yeah live together i know well even like when you went into labor like i was at the hospital the whole time i stayed up all night like i felt like i needed to like do those things like not that i was giving birth but i was like who like we're in this together like i'm gonna what do i'm like i'm texting you're like hey like how's it going because you're like oh i'm gonna get some rest you know and i'm just snoozing away oh my gosh i know um no it's very weird it's like i think it's a sister thing Well, the first thing when I walked in, like, obviously I was so excited to meet, like, my nephew, like, hello.

Like, we just, that was what this whole nine months was about, you know? Um, but my first instinct was like, how are you doing? Are you good? Yeah. Like, what just happened? You like so vulnerable and in that, like, condition and, you know, as a mom, it's, it's something that like, I don't know, like, you'll see it like obviously like when it happens for me because, like, it's so hard to explain, but it's like nothing you've ever felt before.

Like, not that you're my kid, but like because we're so. close like it's like yeah it's like my god like you did that and you made it look easy and i mean you look tired like but you didn't you didn't look like crap like you know like you made it look easy and i was just in awe of like what you were capable of and what you did and you know just so proud of you for bringing like my nephew into this world and she cries all the time why am i crying it's all right yeah but no like i was just honestly i was just proud of you and you know i I'm excited to be able to share that with you, like, in these next couple weeks, months, whatever. No, I'm excited.

I'm excited for you to experience all the phases because, again, like, I feel like at first, it's kind of, like, panic mode, but it does set in. And, like, it is the best thing in the world. Yeah. It is really the best thing in the world. But it just, like, it's an experience that, like, once you go through it, and I know everyone says that, but, like, you don't understand our purpose. appreciate the capabilities or like what moms really do until you go through it and then you're like oh my gosh like yeah even that's what they went through oh man i don't like that oh man that you just no you'll be fine um but like even like you like you coming home like i wanted to come over like

every day but i was like i have to let you like figure this out on your own and like let you do it like which is a very hard thing to do like you know and even like we're the type of people are like, oh, let me just fix it. Let me do it for you type of thing, you know? But like I feel like you became a good mom because you were so hands on and you were able to do that. And like, you know, every struggle that you went through and every high, like, you can only credit that to yourself, you know, like. Yeah, it's hard. That is hard.

And I feel like, honestly, thank God that I had Evan because it was those moments of like, I didn't need him there. but I just needed to know he was there in case. And that's kind of how even sometimes I still feel. Like if it's like a super hard day, I'm like, I've got this. I know we're good. But like at least he's there like if I need him. Yeah. And when we have days though of like when it is just awesome, like Evans on around,

like he's been out of town for work and whatever he's had to do stuff, like those days, I'm like, oh my God, I'm really am the mom. Yeah. Are you sure? Like it's just me. them dude like it's like it's a fun like crazy weird realization that you have as you go through but I'm excited to see it I'm excited to meet my knees well you just figure it out right like yes yeah well and that's what I told you because you were like asking me questions recently and I'm like I genuinely

don't remember and it was the question it was the kind of questions like that I wanted to know and I would ask my friends who had kids and they would be like I don't remember I'm like how do you remember it wasn't that long ago but you really wasn't that long but truly you don't remember like even with how many ounces do they need to eat and then like when does it increase and how do you know it's going to increase and then like what age was it this many and what age what age what i don't remember i don't remember how do people learn that stuff though like you literally just figure it out as you go tic-tok or how did you learn all that no well when we left the hospital i mean they at first they're telling you like okay yeah like give like

two ounces or whatever and then i was saying to them like how do i know when to go like increase it and they would just but you'll know like he'll he'll be finishing the battle and it'll be all gone and like you'll know and i'm like okay and then like literally you just know they'll they'll finish all all the ounces and you will know but yeah it's just those things where you kind of go through and then you forget it as quick as you learned it yeah yeah same with the bath stuff, same with just everything. We hired a doula, so I feel like that'll be very helpful. So she'll be with us during our labor, and then actually afterwards, we hired her for a couple nights a week, which will be extremely helpful because obviously, like, sleep deprivation is a thing,

and that really does affect how your postpartum journey is and, you know, just kind of protecting our mental health as much as possible. And obviously, we're very fortunate to be able to do that. but one thing we're looking forward to is that she's going to be able to show us like certain things that we don't necessarily like know how to do right like um you know her first bath things like she can help us with changing her diaper transitioning her to solids like we don't necessarily we won't have her at that point but it's still a resource that we'll have to be able to like reach out and you know she's a registered nurse and so like we just feel very confident that like it'll be a good transition for us you know like they say it takes the village

and she's one of the people that like we have and so we're like i said we're very fortunate i know like not everybody can do that um but it'll be good that hopefully like i don't have to necessarily like rely on tic-tok so much and because we have somebody who can help us and obviously like we have you and we have friends but it's yeah and i will say like to the tic tic tic stuff and i even tell you this now is like it's information overload it's like people did not have actually access to this much information and it's analysis paralysis it causes you to like not know what to do because there's so many options of what to do and what's right out there so I feel like that is going to be so good and honestly I kind of wish we would have done like we didn't end up doing it

after I think he was like two months old and it was getting to the point where I was like actually going a little crazy from not sleeping so we had somebody that came like twice a week for like a month and helped us and that was great. But like even still you're going to be tired and you're going to like want other information too. And like you like the bath stuff and all that, which because of the NICU we kind of got some like some of that. Like they showed us what to do. But really you do just figure it out and having somebody that knows where you can just ask those questions and feel confident in their answers. Yeah.

Where you don't have to search online for hours. I feel like we'll be good for you too. Well, I felt like you had searched a lot online and you were getting anxiety over it. And, you know, like, our dula will ask us like, hey, what's your preference on this or like, what are your thoughts on this? And I'm like, honestly, like, I don't know because it's so easy to go down a rabbit hole on TikTok. So like I try limiting like how much like, like most of my TikTok searches are like stretches I should be doing or like easy stuff like that, so to speak, that's not so much like baby, baby related. So that this way, like my thoughts aren't so. skewed and like I'm not like I obviously want to be knowledgeable and have information but I don't want to be so like am I making the right choice am I doing the right thing like you know again I want to know to an extent but I don't need to know everything right yeah I feel like that's the healthiest thing you can try to do for yourself especially during that time what's that like when there's when the you're having the baby and like the shoulders like the wrong way so like they get like the stucia so they

they get like the stool or whatever like yeah that tic-tok I didn't need to see right I know And that was, I think, the problem with even me and you talking sometimes. Like, I know about every scary scenario that could possibly go wrong. So when you say things to me, I'm like, well, did you know? And you're like, please stop. Please stop. I don't want to know. Yeah.

But hopefully that won't happen. And, like, obviously, I'm here too. Yeah. To help. But don't ask me anything specific because I don't remember. But in theory, I'm there. Yeah. But it's cool that like we get to do this like together, right?

Like obviously like, did you grew up together? That was going to happen? No, because like I mean like I got married and then you got married a year later. Then you got pregnant. Then I got pregnant like a year. Like it's kind of crazy how like we're piggybacking. Like I know like we're similar in age. And so like you do do those life events around the same time.

But I don't know. Like I guess I never really pictured us raising kids together because in my head like we're still kids ourselves. that doesn't make sense again back to what we were talking about um so in my head like we just were always just i don't know not like stuck as like in that time's frame but like i don't know well i feel that way about all of our friends that like have had kids or are going to have kids i'm like multiple kids yes and you're just like what are you sure yeah yeah like you have a whole family yeah what Yeah. Where did they come from? But it's so cool. Like my other friend just had her third baby girl and, you know, Erica is obviously having a baby too.

And so it's like just being able to do this with like all of our friends and, you know, our friends who are wanting to have babies and grow their families and, you know, and some people don't. And that's completely okay too. Like it's just so cool because we're in the point of life where everybody's on a different path. Like some people are just going back to school to study something new. some people are just getting their first house some people are just getting their first apartment or their first animal or going on their first international trip it's like some people are single some people are married some people are divorced and you know dating again like it's just very cool that like we're in that phase of life where there's so many different paths that you can be on and there's like yes there's

expectations that are like they're dumb to be quite honest um but it's cool that everybody can literally just do what they need to do to fulfill like their path and whatever journey that they're on and I hope that people just take that pressure away like you know I didn't think that I would open up a business at 32 years old right like I thought I'd already be established in my business and what I would be doing and you know even you know when I got married at 30 I thought oh I would have been married already and it's like there is no time like throw it out the window like it doesn't matter you know like I mean I don't want to have like my third kid at 40 and that's only because I'm already tired now.

Like it's not because of the age. It's literally just because I don't think I could keep up. But I feel like age is just a number like when it comes to like life events like that, you know? Yeah. And I do. I think it's cool because like you said, everybody is doing different things. And they're a little bit on their own timelines and stuff. And but I feel like because we are at this age, everyone knows themselves and like knows, like is sure of themselves and can do those things.

They're adults. like with real adult lives and they can say at any moment like I have free will I can do this I can do it's like everyone's at that point in their lives like I just said like I said about being a mom like sometimes it just hits me like oh I really can just do what I want this was my kid I can take him and do whatever I want and and I feel like it's kind of like the same thing but in everyone's journey is like oh I really can just get up and go to Tokyo or I really can just you're going to go to Tokyo? Well, I don't know. We've been talking about it, but um, can we come? Yeah. Um, it's just fun. It's just like, it's just a fun time and a like a good age. It's like everyone says

30s is the new 20s and I feel like it really is true. Except now we kind of are like, we're making like decisions with like real adult brains and like doing stuff. Yeah, rationale. Yeah, rationale like purpose. Yeah. There's just, it feels purposeful, like, yeah, the decisions everyone's making. But it's very exciting times. And I'm glad you came on and caught up with everybody. And also, in the Patreon, we're going to play a couple games. So if you want to see that, make sure you join the Patreon bonus content. For now, that's it for this week.

Thanks for coming on and hanging out. Thanks for having us, because there isn't us. That's crazy. And, yeah, probably next time you'll see Elena, she'll probably. have the little peanut. Yeah. Yeah, for sure. Super exciting. But we'll see you guys the next one. Well, I'll see you guys the next one. Bye everyone. Bye.