Just Trish - Brooke Schofield On Her Toxic Ex, Feuding With Tana & the Future of CANCELLED

Episode Date: November 2, 2023

Trisha sits down with 'CANCELLED' host Brooke Schofield to discuss her meteoric rise to social media fame. Brooke tells all: From new details about her toxic ex, to feud rumors between her and Tana Mongeau. What is the future like for the 'CANCELLED" podcast and tour? Plus, Brooke and Trish bond over the hardships of living with BPD, and how they continue to live with their mental illness. Subscribe to the Podcast: Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/just-trish/id1698564262?at=1010lSCj Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/6bZ5tfeCt6naGMw24pRMLe YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@justtrishpodcast All Podcast Platforms: https://link.chtbl.com/JustTrish?at=1010lSCj Follow Just Trish on Social Media: https://www.instagram.com/justtrishpod/ Follow Oscar: https://www.instagram.com/oscargracey Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Hey guys! Welcome back to Just Trish and probably one of the most requested guests ever. You guys constantly are in the comments saying Brooke, Brooke, Brooke, Brooke and here she is today, Brooke Schofield. Did I say it right? Yes you did. I'm so excited to be here. I actually cannot believe. I'm like I can't believe I got invited. I'm so excited. You came straight from tour which is insane. I did. I was not gonna miss. I canceled my dentist appointment. I'm like I'm going on Just Trish. You gave me like a bunch of dates. I'm like the first one. Oh my God. I know that was so cool. I was so excited. I was like, ah, I was so nervous too. I literally, I've had like shows like the last three days and it'll be like a thousands of people. And I'm like,

I'm more nervous for this than I was for that. Which is so funny. Cause you're just so cool and chill. You're like the chill girl. I was just like, I was nervous for you. I was to know what I'm like, nobody would ever say that I'm the chill girl. You're so cool. Like when we went out to dinner after the canceled podcast, I was like, she is just, you're so cool. You're so nice. You talk to everyone. I always gauge by like how people talk to like Moses and I'm like, you just talk to like every single person doesn't matter. And you're just like chill and cool. I love it. I just think you're like such a cool vibe. Thank you. I'm so happy you came with us. And like all of us, when you left, we were like, oh my God.

It was the best day of my life. It was the best day of my life. I felt so like young and cool for like a day, you know? You are young and cool. No, I'm not 25, man. Well, what are you, 30? 35. That's the-

It's a decade older. No, it's not. Well, I'm 26. I'm about to turn 27 next month. Wait. Oh, okay. Yeah. That's cool. I'm older. A lot of to turn 27 next month. Wait. Oh, okay. That's cool.

I'm older. A lot of them are like a little bit younger. Yeah. Okay. So 27, how do you feel going into your mid twenties or late twenties? Well, I mean, I guess I feel the same, but I'm like, am I supposed to get married? Like, do I have kids? Do you feel that? No. Well, yeah, a little. But I feel like in LA, everyone, like I'm 35 and I'm just doing that. You know what I mean? I feel like everyone-

It makes me feel better too. And I feel like you really stuck it out and you like doing that. You know what I mean? I feel like everyone. I know. It makes me feel better, too. And I feel like you really stuck it out and you, like, found it. Yeah. You know what I mean? And it's, like. It happens. Like, Rihanna. Who else was it? Someone else was just having a baby at, like, 35.

Like, everyone just has babies later, I feel. Yeah. I've always wanted to be, like, an old mom, I feel like. Really? Like, I wouldn't mind having a kid at, like, 39. Yeah. Well, that's going to be me. I'm probably going to have a kid at 39, too.

Like, it's a way. I don't think it's, like, as long as it's, like, a safe safe pregnancy, it's like, yeah. Why wouldn't you? It was like 44 having a baby. 45. That's great. Wait, is she? Yeah. I mean, at least I think she's 45. Okay. But I guess she has like all the resources in the world available to her. Yeah. But still your body's your body. I love the idea of being an old, like I had my grandparents. So it was like, I had like old parents. Wait, you had your grandparents do they raise you or you just oh oh I see so they were like okay yeah in that case it's kind of cool I feel like I didn't know my grandparents and I feel like I won't know my grandchildren so it

makes me a little sad you know what I mean I think about that sometimes I'm like my because because my grandparents are my parents I'm like what if they can't come to my wedding or like are they still alive they're still alive but they're really I mean they're pretty old like 80s yeah well they're in their 70s but just like my grandma in particular is just very like 70s is young healthy yeah that they're so young so your parents are so their parents had you young yeah well my mom my mom had three kids by the time she was 22 oh that makes sense that way you might be like I'm gonna be an older mom yeah for sure okay so your grandparents raised you because you talked a little bit about this on i was on canceled podcast you were saying that your parents i didn't know they didn't raise you but you said when you moved to la that you were like had to ask them for permission you had to like show them a powerpoint

yeah well i did that for my grandparents when i say my parents i always like mean my grandparents but i did i did i straight up made a powerpoint i'm like please let me leave college and they're like okay and they said okay they did not care at all. Wow. How cool. But I mean, I said I was going to finish. Did you? No. Well, look at it. It's working out for you. I know. And I was going to, I was doing like nursing. So I'm like, what was I going to do with that? That's crazy. So you went to college for nursing because you were in like sororities and stuff in college and stuff like that. Oh my God. So you were going to be a nurse? Well, probably not. Honestly, I was really not doing well. I was getting like C's and everything. Yeah. I was cheating. Oh, in college? Yeah. How do you do that in college? Oh, so easily. There's like websites

where you can go and find entire exams. I put more effort into cheating than I would have had to do, like to just learn it. Honestly though, that's smart. I feel like that's like efficient. You know what I mean? You found an easy way to get something done. But it wasn't easy. It was like I was putting so much effort into it. It's like, just learn the material and like, you're going to end up killing somebody. Yeah. Learning in college was not for me. I went to half a semester and then I was like, I'm good. Oh, I didn't know that. Yeah. Like a community college even. And it was so hard for me. I feel like, like I don't regret it because the experience was fun, but I don't know. I wouldn't do it again, I don't think.

What age did you drop out? I did three and a half years, so it was actually really stupid. Why didn't you finish? Go out and finish now. The only class I have left is biostats. Oh, my gosh. And I'm like, I tried to take it online, and you cannot take biostats online. Wait, what is biostats? I have no idea.

Is it chemistry, science, math? It's the same as normal statistics, but it's like applied to like medicine and like, oh, I don't know. Oh, but clearly I didn't take it. I mean, that's really impressive. If you only have like half a semester left. I know. Maybe one day I'll go back and finish.

But I don't know if I can be a nurse now. I like talk about like really crazy things online. Yeah. It is an interesting thing. Once you become like the influencer you are, it's like there's really no going back, I feel. I mean, there could be for you, but. I don't think so.

I think about that all the time. I'm like, God, I could not, like now what do I do? I can't go be like paralegal. Right, you have to be this influencer for life. What would you be doing if you were podcasting? Oh, I don't know. Or influencing. I really don't know.

I wanted to be an, like I really thought I was gonna be an actress. don't know I wanted to be an like I really thought I was going to be an actress that's why I wanted to come that's so funny that's what I'm going to do never even tried it when I got here I'm even trying I tried I tried a little bit but like auditions classes what did you do I was taking classes I was auditioning like a little bit but I was working so it was like I thought I was going to be able to come out here audition audition I'd book something and like I was just working at a restaurant all the time. I'm like, I don't have time.

Yeah, it's hard. Well, restaurant jobs usually let you off a little easier. Where were you working? Did you ever say? I worked at Catch. Oh, that's fancy. Yeah. Okay.

Oh my God. And like, I saw you there. I was like so excited. Oh yeah. When was, oh right, right, right. Like 20, oh, so in 2018, that was like 2018. Yeah. I worked there like almost three years.

Wow. So this is all like recent that you like full-time influencer. Yeah, just since like the podcast. Okay, so when did Canceled start? 2020? It's, we just had our like two-year anniversary or two-year birthday. Wow. When, was it July that you started?

I think, yes, I think so. Oh my God, two years. Oh my God, it feels like it's been on a long time. Well, you had a little break, right? You guys had a little. Yeah, we did like an eight-month hiatus. What was happening there? Can you talk about it or no?

I don't know. We have like a little bit. We just had like disagreements with the production company that we were working with. And they just didn't like how we were doing it. We didn't like how they were doing it. So we just separated from them. And now you're independent for the most part. Well, no, we're with Studio 71.

Okay. But we end up like, we hire the production team and stuff and we do it all ourselves. Okay. So you're kind of like freelance and they kind of help you get. Yeah. And then we just, we just send it out to Studio 71

and they put it out. Yeah. That's how we do too. We have like a partner company, but like we do everything else. We build the set. We do all that stuff like that. It's so much easier to now,

like you guys have it out of your house. So it's like, you can just do it whenever. It's the best. And you guys do it out of Tana's house, right? Yeah. Which is nice. So do you feel more like when you were with the other company, did they tell you like what to, who to interview, what to talk about? They tried. And of course Tana's like, absolutely not. Interesting. But we were just saying like, we had so many guests before and it was just like a completely different vibe. We had the set built out, which I hope we end up doing again. Such a good set.

Where's that set? I don't know. You guys couldn't take it with you? I don't know if it's still there. No, because they had built it. Like, the production company had built it. Oh. So we couldn't keep it.

It was such a cool set. I loved it. I feel like we'll end up eventually doing another one. Building another one. I like yours as five now, though. It's very casual, laid-back, friends talking. Yeah, that's what we try to have it be, morning talk. Like what, you know, when you wake up with your friends, you're like, Oh my God, what happened last night? I think it's so cool. Like that's

cause I feel like there's not a lot of podcasts like that out there now. It's a lot of them are just all current events, drama. We definitely touch on the drama, but it's like your own drama, right? I feel like I try not to be. Yeah. You never named touch on the drama. But it's like your own drama, right? Yeah. I guess you guys talk about it. I try not to be. Yeah. You never name names on your podcast. I always wish you guys would. But they find them.

They always find them. Yeah. When I was doing deep dive yesterday, I was just like, okay, I need to know who this person is. You said there was a guy that had like nine Grammy nominations. I'm like, who is this? Oh my God. I don't even know who that is.

It was like, it was someone. Oh God. Who was it? I'm trying to think of this dating story now. You said he had nine Grammy nominations. Oh, I had the guy who I was like, congrats on your Grammy nomination. Or like, I saw you were nominated for a Grammy and he was like, a Grammy. Oh, was it that? No, but there was, oh man, now I can't think of the story. It was like a story. I'm like, did I have any business with a guy nominated for nine Grammys? Yeah, I feel like,

and you're like, oh, I guess that's okay. I can't remember the story now. But I remember, like, all your dating history is so impressive. Like, there's some people I know that you told me, and then there's some people that, like, I just guessed. But you always date, like, celebrities, high-profile people. Yeah, I'm trying to get out of that, I think. And it just never ends well. Wait, what? Because I was the same way.

I loved, mine were, like, Zilla celebrities. You were dating, like, actual celebrities. No, absolutely not. I just, I don't, I swear I don't mean to do it, but it's like you like to see somebody who's like really good at something or like really loves to do something. And a lot of times that's like singing. Yeah. Or like comedian.

Comedian. You had a standup, it seemed like you had a standup comedy phase, which I did. I had like a five year one. I thought, I was like, I want a funny guy, but I feel like sometimes the stand, like the comedians aren't even funny. They're not. They're so serious. In just like a regular conversation. Yeah. They're usually really serious and really dark. All the ones I dated were like kind of like scary. Yeah. And mine were like a long time ago. Mine were like, I mean, mine was like 20 years old, so they were like 40. So they're

like probably dead now, but. Oh God. Yeah. I feel like I want to like have a guy with a regular, but I want to have a guy with a regular job, but then it's like, I don't want him to go to work. That's the difficult, that's the struggle struggle you'd have to like work with him or something or like he'd have to start working with you I feel like there's a lot of influencers who like husbands to start working with them because of that reason yeah I'm like what if like I don't know I have all this time on my hands yeah I don't want to have to wait until him to come or for him to come home at like five yeah that would be difficult although on the other hand then you have like your own you have your time away but in same way, I wouldn't want to like be without my partner. I'd

be like, I can't, I'm like, I'm a very like, um, attached partner. I know. I read that you liked, what was it? Like six months you were with a guy and you just like adapted his lifestyle. You didn't do anything for yourself fully. Just like it was my last relationship, but we literally went on our first date and never separated. To me, I love it. I think that's everything. I did love it. It was just a very intense relationship so quickly. And then when it ended, you just were like, who am I?

Oh, I was traumatized. Yeah. I could imagine. So when you were with him every day, he's traveling. Yeah, he was a singer, so he was doing a lot of moving around. He wasn't really doing shows at the time. He was putting an album out. He's yeah, he was, he was a singer. So he, he was doing a lot of like moving around, doing show. He was, he wasn't really doing shows at the time. He was putting an album out.

So it was just every day, like watching him work every day. Yeah. Wow. And you just loved it. I didn't have a podcast. So I was like, oh my God. Oh, so you guys were on break from the podcast. Yeah. It was like exactly, it filled that exact like little timeframe.

What were your friends saying? Like, what would like Tana say? I wish like we'd ever see you. Um, I feel like they all like thought it was different than it was. So they were like really happy for me. little time frame. What were your friends saying? What would Tana say? I wish we'd never see you. I feel like they all thought it was different than it was so they were really happy for me. They were like, oh my god. Yay. He's so successful. Yeah.

He wasn't that. I mean. Do you not talk about him? No, I do sometimes. Is it just hard? Because you said that was your hardest one. That's when you lost a bunch of weight. Yeah, it was just a really traumatic ending. yeah, we talked about it when I was on your canceled podcast, which is like crazy for people who don't know. I mean, there's just so much into it. Like I get bits and pieces of it here and I'm just like, this was an insane one. This was great.

Just the lies. So many lies. Yeah. It was like, I feel like I just, that was the closest I'd ever been to a person literally ever. And then it was just an imaginary person like he I knew nothing about him like and that's so scary because you're like invested in his life you become one with him and you're just like you think you're so close to this person and then you find out that you like where are you he I don't know where you're from did you ever find out anything real about him like do you think anything was real or legit I was doing like a lot of research like throughout the relationship too because I kind of knew. I could tell. You know when someone's lying to you about certain things.

Or you can tell when somebody's making up lies on the spot, and I'd be like, that's just not a real story. I wonder why. Do you know why he was doing it? No. It's just a compulsive liar, maybe. He's just going to help himself. Something definitely probably had happened where he felt like he had to do that, but

I'm like, I don't know where you're from. is your accent even real what kind of accent did he have Australian was it real I mean he's not from Australia so I don't know that to me is like the weirdest thing well I was living with this man so imagine every morning he's like waking up and he's like good day yeah yes and then I find out he's not even from Australia I'm like all right what like where'd that come from like he had lived in Australia but that's just not what happens wow wait was he was he's on social media yeah so he's he's posting on social media as an Australian mm-hmm are there still fans are people still like supporting him yeah I mean he released a song today oh my god good for him Good for him, I guess. I know. Great song. Does he ever write any about you?

He wrote a couple about me. They'll never come out. I feel like he knows that the best way to hurt me is to never make a song about me ever. Why would he want to hurt you, though? Because it's like you were the good... He just does. Yeah. Is he young, too?

Is he in his 20s? He's young. He lied about his age. Oh, my God. How old was he for real? He said he was 24 and he was 22. Oh, my God. Yeah. Oh, he's young. He lied about his age. Oh my God. How old was he for real? He said he was 24 and he was 22. Oh my God. Yeah.

Oh, he's young. And he just thought like that was no biggie. I was like, well, you don't think that that was like a really important thing to tell me? And he was like, why does it matter? It matters. Yeah. Especially that age too. 24 to 22 is a big difference. Yeah. Oh my God. Well, I mean, I like get it where he's coming from. I used to lie a lot too. So I kind of get it. Like maybe you want to impress someone or maybe you're not. Yeah,

especially in the beginning. I understood the age thing a little bit just because I don't think I would have dated somebody if I knew they were 22. Not justified at all, but I was like, okay, like I get why you did it. Yeah. But like at some point along the way you should have been like, huh, by the way, I had to find that out on my own. Oh, I never told you. No. He actually went on the Zach Sang show, and that's how it all... Oh? Wait, so he went on the Zach Sang show and then said what? He said he was lying to this girl, or what?

No, so he went on the Zach Sang show while we were still together. And he was, like, talking about his album and stuff and his family that had passed and all of that. And I read the comments on the Zach Sang show, and that's when people were like, first of all, he's 22. Second of all, family's alive.

Oh, my God. So he's lying to Zach, too. Yeah. But, like, that's how I found out. I read those comments. So that's why Zach was, like, really involved in the whole thing. Okay. Yeah, because we talked a little bit about it off camera.

I canceled it in here, too. And, obviously, I love Zach and I love you. and I was trying to figure all this out because I'm like how does this all relate because then I saw Tan on there I mean you kind of got in this drama circle this I feel you're very chill drama free but then I'm like there's a lot of drama that comes with it yeah now it's like funny and I can laugh about it but at the time I was like I was like really going through it because I felt like my boyfriend died yeah you're just like who's this person what did you say what was your your reaction? Did you call him? Did you see him that night? Well, I had confronted him like when I first found out and he just like lied, lied,

lied. And I believed him. And I called my mom, which was not a good idea. And she was like, you know, like no one would lie about that for no reason. Like something horrible must have happened. And so I like thought that and I was like, you know what? I'll just let it go. I'll see past it. You do not see past that. You should not see past that. Oh man. Cause then of course he was like cheating and stuff. And it's like, why would I think he wouldn't cheat on me if he would lie about like his age and his family being dead? Oh my God. So you found out about the cheating. Yeah. And then what, so did you break up with him? No, he broke up with me. Is that the craziest thing ever? Because he's like, I got caught.

Yeah. And what did he say? What was the breakup? He was just like, we can never see eye to eye. Oh. I'm like. Lie to lie, baby. He's like, what?

So he broke up with me. We got back together. I broke up with him. Oh, OK. So you did get the final word in that, the final say. Yeah, but so embarrassing. He killed his family off and I got I took him back that no girl I've done the same yeah no I'm medicated now but like I was off my rocker oh my why did you take him back because you were just like so attached I was so attached and I just like that was my first

serious relationship so I like I was just I was I love him. Will you rise with the sun to help change mental health care forever? Join the Sunrise Challenge to raise funds for CAMH, the Centre for Addiction and Mental Health to support life-saving progress in mental health care. From May 26th to 30th, Canadians will rise as one and show those living with mental illness and addiction that they're not alone. Help CAMH build a future where no one is left behind. So, who will you rise for? Register today at sunrisechallenge.ca.

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It's about who's watching. Learn more about Samsung Vision AI televisions at Samsung.com. Was this last year? This was exactly this time last year. Wow. So it's been a year. And are you healed from it or are you still healing? Oh, yeah.

I mean, I still think about it, obviously, but I feel so much better. I was like not doing well at that time. I was like constant babysitters. Oh, man. What did you do? How did you stop from spiraling or did you just spiral? I spiraled for so long. I lost like

25 pounds and like oh just didn't eat was I could not eat and that's never happened to me usually when I'm like stressed out yeah that's eating is all I do yeah same but I was it was so much anxiety that I just like oh my god and where are you just like laying in bed like yeah well I had like I literally had like four or five friends that I like cycled between that would have like come over and genuinely babysit me and I just like sit there and sob that's amazing you had that because I feel like when I spiraled before I like don't have anyone it is like the scariest thing that's horrible I can't honestly that's what I'm most grateful for because I'm like had that had I not had anyone I would have probably done something really crazy

wow so you don't isolate you don't like isolate or anything like that you just you'd like to definitely wanted to but I was scared like I like was, cause I was so out of body. I was like scared that I was going to do something crazy. Did you see your parents at all during that time? No, but I, my mom actually like randomly, my like actual mom talked to her so much throughout it. Cause she's very like, I mean, mentally ill. Yeah. yeah so she like she understood like why I took him back why I wanted him back and all that and like that was nice because all my friends were like you're so stupid really yeah well of course I would say that to my friend I'd be like are you insane like but I guess I feel like I understand your point of view when people take someone back

I'm very much like if that's what makes you happy but I guess you need those friends to be like are you stupid I know I would I would 100% be so disappointed in any friend who like would want to put up with that but like my mom was very understanding and she knew like yeah she's like she has the same um like personality disorder situation is it a personality disorder yeah is it borderline yeah interesting because I heard I was trying to research this because someone told me about like people were telling me she talked about BPD and all stuff. I'm like, does she actually say it though? I don't know if you've actually ever said it. I have said it. I don't talk like, I don't say it that much. Cause honestly, until that relationship, I was like,

I don't really identify. I was like, I didn't think I fit criteria. Cause I like, I'd seen it in my sister. I'd seen it in my mom. And I was like, I'm definitely not like that. Oh, interesting. So your mom, sister, and you all have it. Yeah. Well. Well, my mom's bipolar. I'm not bipolar. Okay. So she needs medication for hers because borderline you can't take medication. Yeah. And a lot of times I feel like a lot of people with BPD, you don't really notice it as much until you're in a relationship. I feel like it's way, way, way more amplified in a relationship. Yes. Very much so. Because then you start seeing, what's your, what's your biggest signs, biggest traits of it that you noticed? I feel like I'm just really like, I mean,

obviously it was like so hyper emotional. Like I'm like, I get so, so happy. So, so sad, but like, yeah, I feel like I'm very like compulsive and I'll like, you just get addicted to it. And yeah. And well, also just being so attached, you meet him and then never letting him go. I mean, that's a very big sign of borderline. Yeah. And just the way I behaved in that breakup was so out of like, I look at it now and I'm like, you are insane. What did you do?

A girl. I've done the crazy stuff. I put all my stuff online. As soon as I broke up, I would cry and make a video. Thankfully, like I wasn't really sharing that much of my, like my own life at that time. So thank God, but I was being so insane to him. Calling him a lot?

I was really psycho. I mean, I used to call people for like 100 times a day. Even when we broke up, 100 times. I can't even look at the text. I sent him probably 10,000 texts

over the course, like voice memos, just like like and he didn't reply oh no yeah no not at all I know it's it's the worst and it's so annoying when they have that hold on you too and you just you can't it's like you can't control it like that is the worst part about born lightning people like just don't do it it's like you just can't control it I swear to god it felt like somebody was like driving my body because I was like you are being insane I knew I was being insane but like same mine is almost like somebody was like driving my body. Cause I was like, you are being insane. I knew I was being insane, but like. Same. Mine is almost like, do you like disassociate or blackout? Or are

you fully aware of what you're doing? I'm aware that. So that's like what, another reason I don't really like talk about it that much. Cause people talk about like splitting and I don't, I don't really feel that way. Like, cause obviously I go like kind of crazy, but I'm, I always feel completely valid in what I'm saying. Interesting. And so it's not like afterward, I'm like, oh my God, I can't believe that happened. I'm like, I really felt that passionately at that time. That makes sense. So I feel valid in what I'm doing, but you're still like, this is not okay behavior. You recognize that it's not.

Yeah, I definitely knew I was not behaving normally. How do you, I wonder then, how do you correct it or how do you deal with it? I don't know that I do. You haven't done it yet? No. Like how you regulate? I don't regulate. Well, I mean, I kind of do. I feel like it's, it's easier now. Cause I'm like, you're yeah. With time passing, it's just like, you're less attached to it. Do you ever check up on him now or anything like that? Um, I that? I like to know just like what he, I mean, he kind of fell off after he went completely silent online after. Oh, because he got like exposed. I mean, that's a big thing. Not only are you lying to you, but you're lying to like your

fans and like Zach saying. It is. I just like, it's hard for me because I still don't know why. So it's like, what if like my mom always says too, she's like, what if something horrible really did happen? You don't know. Like family is so personal. personal and so like if he wants to say that and like that's like what he needs yeah maybe he had a tragedy maybe all his family like maybe something happened with his family that he'd like to think of them as dead or something yeah and so like that's what I was thinking and so I'm like I don't want to ruin his career and like make it look well he did it to himself really you didn't have to expose him I know but which is, Hmm. I'm trying to think about all of that. It's just like a lot to take in because it's like, this is someone lying to you. You're also someone who's dealing with like your own

personality disorder. Had it been like a completely regular breakup, I already had like the whole, you know, a major attachment thing and stuff to deal with. But just the fact that it was like such a unique situation, like he, I genuinely felt like he had died. Like he, cause he wasn't real. Like he literally was not real, but I didn't know anything about him. And that's scary. Yeah. And then he didn't check in on you or anything that he never was like, no, we, I mean, we, um, have spoken since then. Like we've, we were kind of doing okay until the Zach Sang thing came out and then he just blocked me forever. I see. And you haven't heard from him since. Do you have feelings for him still? Are you still like, I still care about this person? No, I definitely

still care about him. Of course. Yeah. I feel like it never really goes away until your next relationship. I mean, with my experience, that's how it's been. I will like really obsess over, not even obsessed, but I'll be like, I still really love this person. I still care about this person, even if they don't care about me. I still love literally every single person I've ever loved in my entire life. Like I still check on like people that I was obsessed with in the second grade. Yeah. I used to do that too. I can't help it. I can't, I just love it. It's that's the compulsion in you. That's the compulsive behavior. Cause I used to do the same thing. Like I would check in on people I dated when I was like 18 years old, like as a 30 year old. I feel like when you find like the one that

you're like really obsessed with for real, they'll take away all that stuff and you won't care as much. I think so. Cause I never thought I'd get over people. I would research everybody. And it's, to me, I like, don't even think about exes anymore. Like I never think about them. See, I want to get there so bad. It's not, yeah. I mean, I, I just want to know, like it's, he did the worst possible thing to me by falling off. Cause it's like, I just want to know that he's fine and doing okay. Yeah. So that I can move on. But thinking that he might be doing badly, I was like, oh, my God.

Both ways can eat you up. You don't want them to be bad, but then also if he's doing bad, I should not. I wanted him a little bit to be miserable because I was. But obviously, I mean. Well, he might be if he fell off. Maybe he's not doing so well. I don't know. Maybe he's okay. Hopefully he's okay. He's back now. New song out today. That's so funny. He should make a song about being like a compulsive liar. Cause I feel like

a lot of people could relate to that. I know. And honest to God, like, I don't know. I feel like everybody's mentally ill. Like clearly he has to be mentally ill. I'm like, people will relate to that. There's levels for sure. I wonder what, yeah. Like he's a denier. Like it was like, I would say things, I'd be like, you're such a narcissist. Like you, like, and he was like, you're insane. Well, see, narcissists don't usually know that narcissists, I don't know that much about narcissists. I hear the word a lot. I've never been in a relationship with a narcissist, so I don't know, but, or maybe I have, I don't know. I don't, like, I, it's hard. I'm not like'm not really, like, aware of all the criteria for each individual little thing. I don't either.

But I'm like, something's definitely wrong. Well, you were talking about love bombing. And you're like, I'm a love bomber. And I was like, yeah, I am too. But people think that's, like, a bad thing. Because I love bomb for sure. The minute I meet someone, I'm like, I'm ready to get married to you. Because I know.

Like, I just immediately, like, feel like I really, like. It's genuine. Yeah, I really feel that way. I feel the same way. And so when I hear this love bombing thing where really feel that way I feel the same way and so when I hear this love bombing thing where they're like I want to do this and we're gonna get married and like that's what I say to everybody and then I was like in love with like I just feel that way in that moment yeah I don't think it's a bad thing I don't know why that became so I'm like maybe I'm

a narcissist I have no idea because I was like no I think that I mean honestly I think that's a BPD thing right yeah just like heightened sense of love relationship you just think it's like so serious so quickly yeah but I do think there's something to that. We're in tune with like our emotions and stuff like that. You know, we can like feel things so much. I see. That's what I, I do like that. I love being like a super emotional person because it has like the good part too. I get so happy and so like, yeah, I will sob at like just the sight of like a baby. Yeah. Yeah. I get the same way. So I like that part of it, but the sad, sad, sad, I can handle it's when I just get like the, the anxiety is like what I have a hard time. Oh, interesting. I don't get too much anxiety. Is that,

do you think, do you think that's part of that? Or do you think you've got an anxiety disorder too? Do you have like panic attacks? I don't know. That's, that's another thing. I feel like some of them like coexist and like overlap and I just don't really know which is which, but the anxiety is like what really was hard. Cause I'm like, I can handle being sad. Right. Being panicked is crazy. Yeah. Panic. I've never had to experience that. Cause that's a whole other thing. Like how do you talk yourself down? When do you get panic? Like when you're on tour, when you're by yourself? It was honestly just that whole situation I literally woke up every morning feeling like like my whole family had just died like I was so the feeling was just like just the worst panic I don't know how to describe it are you like it's

your heart racing are you like not like I don't I've never been through one of these things I don't know yeah I mean you just feel like so sick like I I remember saying I if someone had told me and that like you can lose an arm and you'll stop feeling that way I would have done it like I just you just feel like so sick. Like I remember saying, if someone had told me in that, like you can lose an arm and you'll stop feeling that way, I would have done it. Like I just felt so, so panicked. Like the world was ending. Did you, so like,

but could you have your breath? Are you breathing? Are you, or are you physically, like you have to, some people go to the hospital. I can breathe, but I just, I, no, I'm not, I'm not like hyperventilating. I'm not like that type.

I don't have like severe panic attacks. It's just like overwhelming. Overwhelming. Do like that type. I don't have like severe panic attacks. It's just like overwhelming anxiety. Do you do any, you don't do like meditation affirmations and none of that stuff, right? You're not into that sort of thing? Not really. I probably should get into it. Do you do like walks or like how do you like decompress? At that time, it was just so, like I was honestly just taking so much Xanax.

Yeah, I know. And that's horrible. And like, I mean, I don't now, but like at that time that I really, that was the only thing I could do to like, just not. Oh yeah. That's how, that's how I had to deal with it too, the Xanax. And you just didn't get addicted to that. You just. No, I was never taking enough, like for it to be problematic, I don't think. But I like, it was so overwhelming to me. It was that, or I just do like, I'm like, I don't know, drive up a cliff.

Yeah, I felt that way, too. No, it's very real. It's a very real thing, especially breakups. And you feel like it's the end of the world. And it's a lot. And people don't understand it, especially if they don't have a BBT or something where they're so attached to it. Because it's just, you'll get over it.

But it feels the end of the world. It is hard, too. Because I feel like people hear, they'll be like oh, my God, I'm super emotional, too. And you want to be like, it's not the same thing. Like, it is so, I know how wrong it is, but I just can't help how I feel. I'm so, like. It, like, overcomes you. It overtakes you.

Like, you can't function. I know, and I cannot drive my body. Like, it's like, I don't know what I'm going to say. I don't know what I'm going to do. That's the most difficult part, And that's like the hardest thing to get over. And it really just takes time. And sometimes like, like, like we were saying, you know, you're still like Googling the person from second grade, you know, it's like, it just doesn't, it may never go away. But do you have an addictive, do you have any addiction personality,

like anything addictive about you? A little bit. I have like, I like, I've had like addictions to like food or like things like that. I've never been addicted to like drugs, like behavioral addiction. Yeah. I definitely have like compulsion, like, like I'll overspend and I know it's bad. It's like self-harm, like literally like overspending, knowing it's bad or like dating guys that I know are bad for me or like, yeah. Eating things that I know I don't want to like things like that, where I'm like, I cannot stop myself from doing that. But it's the hardest. I was, I just talked to Dr. you about this. Cause I was like, I'm addicted to, and I was the same way. I'm like, I'm addicted to spending. I'm addicted to eating. And I'm like, actually can't stop. Like, I don't know. People say that your relationship to food, money, and like men is

usually are all like very, um, similar. So if you're an overspender, you'll overeat. And it's like, it's the same thing. and I've noticed that I'm like randomly I'll just want to spend every single dollar I have or eat every single thing I have it's such a hard thing to explain to people too because they'll say well just stop spending your same money or just stop eating and yeah but it's like you can't explain it no and I genuinely I understand you know people who have like um like compulsions to like pull their hair out I forget what that's called like I completely understand that. Cause I'm like, you cannot, I cannot stop myself from doing it. I never even thought about that. Cause I always think that's weird, you know, but it's like, like you have to

spend money. You have to eat. I know. I remember I like, I was having the worst problem with eating for a while. Like I couldn't, I literally, I knew I didn't want to and I wasn't hungry, but it was like, it was like a self-harm thing where I was like, I have to gorge myself. And that's when I was like, okay, I get, I get my mom now. Were you, really? Did she have, did she have an eating disorder? No, but she has, she's a drug addict. So at that time I was like, okay, I get it.

Like she, she doesn't want to do that. So when you're talking about your mom, sometimes you're talking about your grandma who raised you and then sometimes you're talking about your biological mom. No. So I'm, I always say my grandma. My mom is my mom. Okay, I thought when you were going through the breakup, you called your mom your grandma and she was like, oh, God. No, no, no. My grandma

has dementia. She doesn't speak anymore. Oh, my gosh. Do you see her? Have you seen her? Okay. I see her. That's where I go home. But she and your grandpa is with her. Yeah, and he takes care of her and, your grandpa is with her. Yeah. And he takes care of her and he's the sweetest angel.

He's like literally the best husband in the world. How is that? Like dealing with someone who like raised you and like seeing them like that. It's horrible. It's so sad. Like that, I literally never talk about that part. Cause it's like so sad. I see them on TikTok and I'm just like, oh my God, like that would be. It is.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It's my, the thing I'm most scared of literally in the world. Well, I did, I saw some interviews where you're talking about how you just cry over people's deaths, even when they're alive, like your friend who's perfectly healthy, cry over it. And I'm just, I get the same way. Like you think about them not being here and you're just like, it's irrational. Like, you know, they're here, it's fine. But yeah, death is the scariest

thing to me. I've never lost someone close to me yet. And I'm just very scared of it. Me too. I feel like, I don't know, my grandparents especially, like they are, I feel like they like rescued me. So I like love them so much. But I feel like dementia is like hard because it's, she isn't there anymore. You know what I mean? But you know her as this person and she doesn't know you. Yeah.

That's tough. Sad. Sorry. I'm like. No, I trust me. I get, I get the same way. That stuff is like, it's hard is like it's hard and that's like that's those are your parents how you know your parents that raised you and I know but I

just feel bad for her yeah I don't know and my grandpa's such an angel he like literally wakes up and every single day he like like she's not functional so he like he has like little baby monitors on her and like he's so sweet they've been together since they were 13 uh and that's like couple goals right there to see that. I don't know anyone who has had a healthy relationship. So to hear that is, like, a beautiful thing. No, it is. It's amazing.

Because I had my parents who were, like, beating each other. And then I had them who were, like, so solid and, like, amazing. Do you think that's why you, with relationships, you get, like, attached? Like, you want to find that person. Like, you want to be a supportive person. Like, I mean, I would want to find that person, like you want to be a supportive person. I think so. Like, I mean, I would love to find somebody exactly like that.

Cause they like always been so in love. Like there's never been like, I've never seen them fight or anything. So it was like the best like picture of marriage and love. That it's like possible. And especially now he's like taking care of her. He never complains. And like literally his whole life is just that now. And that's like the most beautiful thing. That's why I always wanted to find someone. I'm like,

I want to grow old with someone to be like alone and life later. That's like, was always my biggest fear. And I thought I would be, I was like, you know, I'm going to be alone in life. And I was alone most of my life. I've been single since I was like, till I was like 30. I never was in a relationship and I didn't like it. But do you enjoy, do you enjoy singleness at all? Do you like it or? I do, especially, I mean, I feel more sane when I'm single. Yeah. So you can, you can find comfort in it. You don't need to have a guy. Yeah. I mean, I, of course I love to, but I am so obsessive that it's like, as soon as I do find somebody like that, I'm not even thinking about myself anymore. And I am only thinking about what they're doing and stuff. I feel like I probably need to work through that before I

like actually try to get into a serious relationship. I think the balance is good. I think also with you doing the podcast now full time, I think it would help anyways, because you're like, I have to go to work and I have to do this, you know? Yeah. And now I feel, I do feel like I have more of a sense of like, like I have purpose and like something else that I'm doing and a job and like things to like think about and be happy about. I just feel like that last relationship, I literally had nothing to like fall back on when it was over. I was like, oh my God, I left my whole life and all my friends behind. What were you doing for money? Were you just like, you had savings?

I had, I was still doing social media. So I was like making YouTube videos and stuff. I wasn't making like a lot of money, but I was making enough to like survive. Man, YouTube is rough now. I don't, I like my main channel. I like can't even like survive off of them. I get so crazy. My AdSense is useless to me. It's just brand deals. Oh, it's brand deals. And you're very brand friendly, so that makes it cheap. So that's why you asked me about doing an OnlyFans.

I feel like I would lose all of those if I... Yeah, you probably. Because, I don't know. It's so stupid if you think about it. Well, I don't know. Tana does it, and she gets brand deals on things. She does. I think you're at that level where it may not matter.

I feel like for some reason I got branded that way as a sex worker. I don't know why, and so I never get brand deals like that. I don't think that of you at all. I don't either. I don't think people do. I think because I did Adam and Eve for so long, that was the only sponsorship. That's all we do on Canceled,

and something that's for the smell of your vulva. I'm like, why are we talking about that? Like my grandpa watches this. Does he? I didn't think so, but I called him yesterday sobbing my eyes out because of getting pulled over. And he was like, he's like, I heard you have a show today. Like he's like, I've been watching it. Oh, is he?

How old is he? Is he in his 80s? I think he's 76. Oh, very young. When you were saying this, I was like, oh, they're very young still. I 80s? He's, I think he's 76. Oh, very young. Like, when you were saying this, I was like, oh, they're very young still. I mean, that's very, and your grandma's around the same age. Yeah, she's, or she's a few years younger than him. I think she's 70, 73.

But her dad had Alzheimer's. She doesn't have Alzheimer's, which is confusing, because it's like. What's the difference? I'm not sure. Like, Alzheimer's you can actually see on a brain scan. Like, you can see, it's like a deterioration of, like, somethingation of like something in your brain dementia a lot of times people don't even know what it's from like hers was just genuinely randomly one day she was just gone like and she had had like or like a gallbladder surgery or something it like she had to have it removed

and when she got back she was just like just out it, completely out of it. And she's just been like that since. And so, and that's still so young. My mom is 65. My dad's 69. So it's like a few years away. That's so young. I couldn't even imagine. It is. It's, it's really strange. And so, so he watches, he watches the podcast. I think, I hope he does. I hope to God that he doesn't, but I mean, I really don't think that they would care. Like they've seen it all. Like my dad was a like crack addict. So it's like, they're not really that concerned about what I'm doing. Right. They're like, you're supporting yourself and you look great.

So, and they had boys. So they like, when they got me, they were like the most excited ever. Cause it was like, all of a sudden they had like this little daughter. Oh, was it just you or you and your sister? It was just me. So my sister had come with me originally and then she got like sent back. Was she bad? She was so bad. Oh man. And, but she has her own issues too. You were saying? Yeah. She's, she was older. So it was like a lot harder. Like the time we did spend with my parents was a lot harder on her. Yeah. So you were kind of like raised as an only child a

little bit. I was with Tori until I was like 10 or nine or 10 with my mom. And then I was with Tori until I was like 10 or 9 or 10. Okay. With my mom. And then I was with my grandparents from 10 on. And then when did you move to LA? I was 23 or 22. 2018, I think. Yeah, 2018. That's like not that long ago. That's so crazy.

Are you liking it? I love it here. You do? You wouldn't move back? I don't know. Because now I go back. I used to be like I would never go back to Arizona. But when I go back now, I I, I don't know. Cause now I go back. I used to be like, I would never go back to Arizona, but when I go back now, I'm like, I could definitely live here.

Arizona's nice. What area are you from? Phoenix. Oh, okay. That's a nice area. It's very like up and coming. It's just like conservative, but I just like, you guys are in such a beautiful area. I feel like I would love to come like out here to raise a family and stuff. I feel like just where I am now, it's like you could never. Yeah, you're like in Hollywood. I'm in Hollywood. You have such a cool apartment though. You got a new apartment. I just got a new apartment. I'm so excited. Congrats. Thanks, Tana. What we don't say. No, girl, it's you.

You guys together are so good. I've watched Tana for so long, but I never really watched her videos. The Canceled Podcast is where it's at. It's because of you guys' dynamic. It's so good. I really am so grateful for it. I always joke about how I'm like a, uh, like nepotism social media person. Cause I had like this unfair advantage. It works though. It really does. You have to kind of any more when people ask how to be an influencer, I'm like, you really just got to like collab, get lucky.

I know, but I have so much like admiration for like you and Tana and people who like genuinely just started making videos and built your own audience. Oh, well, you know, I think, but also with me too. I mean, collabing with people helped me. I always got spikes when it was Shane Dawson or David Dobrik or Jeffree Star. I think that's just how it works, and I think it's fine. Honestly, and it's not like you set out for it. Sometimes when you stumble onto something, that's the best kind of.

Yeah, it's been the best thing literally that's ever happened to me. So you work, you're working at catch. And I think I saw an interview where you said that like you got fired or something. What'd they fire you for? I, for lying. Oh, ironic. No, I got fired for lying. I said that I was sick and then I got caught in like a video of like of, like, Post Malone was, like, opening his birthday presents, and I was, like, handing them to him in the video, and I was in a completely different state. And they were like, you bitch. Oh, my God. You're going to be like, that's a different day? I mean, I'm like, that's not me.

It's, like, so, like, oh. How iconic, though. So, honestly, I would do it again. Wait, what was that situation? How did you get to be handing him his presents? No, it was like a friend of mine. She was like, oh, we can go to his like birthday party. I was like, absolutely.

Oh my God. You're so connected. You, the fact that you know so many celebrities, I mean, I've been out here for like 20 years and I don't even know all these people. I had like one friend who she's just like the most beautiful like girl ever. And she, everybody loved her. So she brought me around everybody. And like, that was like,

that's how I ended up meeting Tana and everything. I'm like, thank God. Wow. That's, that's cool though. Because I feel like most girlfriends wouldn't want you to like get ahead. You know what I mean? Especially since you're pretty too.

They're like, cause you were platinum blonde. Were you platinum blonde during this era? I was. Yeah. During the catch era? Cause platinum blonde, especially platinum blonde girls, I always feel like,

cause I was platinum blonde for so long. People don't want to like introduce them because it's like, you stand out. Platinum blondes just stand out. I always, that was when I wanted to go brunette, I was so afraid of that because I feel like I always notice the blonde person in the room first. Me too, yeah. There's an addiction to it.

You want to be blonder and blonder and blonder, and you're like, dee-dee-dee. What happened? You were just like, I'm over it? I was, and I was doing. And I just, I was doing my own roots. I literally was doing my bleach and tone myself. It looked good. And I was so over it. I was like, I cannot do this anymore.

Yeah, I was going bald so I was like, I need to stop. I wish I could be platinum blonde still but I literally had like zero hair left. No, I love your blonde right now. I love like a rooted blonde. Yeah, because I'm so scared. I would I actually, brunettes are the trend right now. Like very much. I think brunettes are in. Is that like so strange for like a hair color to trend? I'm like, Haley Bieber better grow her hair out. Cause I'm like, I want to cut it so bad.

Do you? I know I did. I went on face app and I gave myself a bob and I'm like, absolutely not. I feel like now the trend too is like everyone's going copper. They're all like this copper hair look right now. Yeah, and I'm like without makeup, I'm like borderline ginger. I have like freckles and stuff. So I'm like, I could probably like pass. Oh my gosh. I'm like ginger passing.

Oh my gosh. Do you cover your freckles? Mm-hmm. People like do fake freckles. No, they do the faux freckles. I'm like trying not to do it as much, but I don't know how to do like a light glam. Like it's like. Same. I don't either. When I do the sheer, I'm like, how are you doing sheer? Mine but I don't know how to do like a light glam. Like it's like. Same.

I don't either. When I do the sheer, I'm like, how are you doing sheer? Mine just looks like messy. Yeah. That's the thing. Mine just looks like I'm bad at makeup. Yeah. Me too.

So I'd rather just not have makeup on. I like the brunette though. I like it because the bleach blonde is kind of like going. I think I love that Tana's still going with it because honestly, like I love a bleach blonde moment, but I think most people are like kind of getting over that trend. Yeah. I feel like it's better for us to be like opposites too and yeah I'm what's so shocking when I went brunette it was like night and day like the the guys that were never ever interested in me at all like all of a sudden were and vice versa like interesting like

what kind of a caliber of guys were now coming for you just like like guys that I had a crush on before that maybe like didn't like me when I was blonde. They were all of a sudden like, oh, hey. It's so odd because you would think, because growing up, well, I'm a little older than you, but growing up, Playboy was definitely the desired, like Pamela Anderson, Holly Madison. But guys, in my experience too, every guy I know,

they prefer brunettes and they prefer light makeup. And I'm just like, wait, what? But this, I thought, is your ideal of beauty. It's very weird. God, I wish so bad. I would have to be around like LA during the playboy times of like that's my dream yeah have you had Holly Madison yes she was my first guest oh my god of course that's like perfect for you I was dying we did our first we did a mukbang together and I picked her up in my car and had McDonald's oh my god how cute so nervous because she's like my everything

like that's how I feel about you oh you're so nice so nice. That's so crazy. I don't, to me, I don't think of people like watching me, especially this young generation. It's always bizarre when they like watched my videos or something. They're obsessed with everybody's obsessed with you. I mean, it's very nice. Lila and I like Lila and I have been friends for as long as I've lived here and we used to drive around. I had like a Kia and we would drive around and like literally be like, could you imagine if we were like friends with Trisha? Could you imagine? No way. Oh my God. Obsessed with you always. That's the coolest compliment, especially when now you guys are like the cool ones and I'm just like, oh my God. No. You will always be the cool one. No, I copied you today. We were talking about how we love to like,

you're like, I copy everyone. I'm like, I copy everyone too. I have no sense of like personal, like every time I have to get dressed for anything, I'm like going to like one of three Instagrams. I'm the same way. I have no idea. That's why I cosplay so much. Cause I'm like, I have no idea what I want to wear. So I'll just cosplay. I cosplay my wedding. I cosplay everything. Cause I'm like, I have no idea what to wear ever. Oh my God. I just saw you did your, um, cover and in your little Egyptian. Oh yeah. That was like, that's like, I'm telling you the young generation, there was a young photographer who was like 20 and he's like, we should do a King Tut in Spartan. Are you sure?

Fun. I love that. Yeah. That's fun. I love to just, I love dressing up, but I love dressing up as people. I love cosplaying. So when I saw, I wanted, I got the Bottega earrings specifically for you. And then I saw, I think a couple days ago on Canceled or something, you guys were talking about how they were faux taga. And I was like, what? I'm all about Amazon. I would have bought the Amazon ones 100%. Are those the faux taga?

Yeah, these are. Or these are actually from Anthropologie, these ones. Oh, so they're kind of bougie. That's what I thought until somebody, this girl came for me so hard. She was literally like. Just a random person or like a Sony though? Yeah, she was like somebody who worked where we did. She didn come for me that hard but she i'd like what did she say oh my god i love your earrings where are they from amazon she goes no i'm like what i think it was

that was the cool thing especially now i'm gonna say amazon store are they in your storefront they are now do you have one do you have i'm about to people say they make so much money on storefronts i can't i do i do have when i put it in the description of all my videos but nobody ever buys anything from it same i'm like i always tell people i've been going to these like amazon influencer events and there are girls who are making like the craziest living on amazon but i'm not really like a fashion girly so i feel like i would have to put like like i don't know like pillows or something on there yeah but your earrings those would be a home run if you put those in your store. I should have done that. Honestly, I think it's too late now. We had so many people come up to us at the show last night, like I bought them. I'm like,

oh, I literally only know you for these earrings. Like I really, and then I like research, I saw like Kylie Jenner wears them and stuff like that, but I always just saw you wearing them. So I was like, I need to get some of those earrings. And when I did a little Google search, like the reviews could grow image, it comes up to Bottega. So I like okay I'll buy these they're freaking expensive and then I just saw you guys talking about and I think Tana said she bought fake ones I'm like oh my god here I am like I'm such a like well not it's not that I'm buying like fakes but I just have never been like I like I don't want designer things for some reason it's better especially not that I could even afford them but like no well you definitely can with all your brand deal money. But it's just better.

I think I wasted so much money on designer stuff. And I try to sell it. And it's like sometimes. Well, a lot of it's like investments. Like a Birkin's an investment. But like. Yeah, sometimes. I'm still trying to sell one of my Birkins. Well, isn't it like rainbow?

It's stuck up there forever. Only JoJo Siwa would buy it. But I'm sure we're not on good terms. I don't know if she'll buy it. Yeah, I don't think we're on good terms anymore. I would be like. Oh, good terms. I don't know if she'll buy it. Yeah, I don't think we're on good terms anymore. I would be like, I think. Oh, my God. That was so wild.

When you guys get, like, guests like that, and everyone tries to, like, not cancel you guys, but what do you feel? Do you feel the backlash? Or are you just like, whatever. It's fine. I definitely feel the backlash. I, like, pay attention to it a lot more than Tana does. You do.

I'm still new to it. She's so used to it. And she knows, like, I saw you say, actually, on, I think, the Zach episode, where you were like, I just can't put any value in it like it's such a pendulum like yeah it's a pendulum because there's some times when everyone loves me and then sometimes where everybody wants you canceled yeah and it's so it's so quick it's so quick it changes so fast I'm like my guys yes exactly but that's in the way it's kind of good because you can if you can regulate your emotions you can regulate how you feel about the pendulum swinging.

But I can't. I get so hurt over stuff like that. Like the comments. The Reddit is crazy. I'm off Reddit now, but that was my addiction, self-harm thing situation for a second. I was going on there knowing I was going to be hurt. Why? Why?

I don't know. I can't help it. No. Okay. So I'm the exact same way. I was just wondering if you knew why, because there was a site called Guru Gossiper when I was your age, and it was like a Reddit, and people would say the nastiest stuff.

It was like, my username's WantsOnTheFarmJane. It would be like blonde pig face for acne. Like, it was just like the worst things, and I was like, and I would go on there every hour and check, and I'm like, what are they saying now? And it is, it is, must be like a self harm thing, but how did you stop going on it? Because it's hard to break that addiction. I'm like, sometimes I still look, I can't, I really can't help it. Like I just, I want to

know cause because I'd like to see like the like positive feedback or like what people think, or if we're doing something like wrong, I want to know about it. But sometimes I'll go on there and it's just people being mean for no reason. They so mean and it's crazy because they will be mean to like literally everyone even people we think are just like so nice and sweet they're just like pick apart pull apart yeah it's the worst I don't know it like it hurts too when you feel like there's a little bit of truth to it like my big thing is like people are like Brooke's a pick me and it's like I am a pick me and I know it wait are you how no I think no I am I am but I don't know like it's like I don't know I have like only child vibes and like I just am a

pick me I have been all my life and I'm really really working through it but I feel like when I I just learned pick me recently from TikTok pick me is is like I'm not like the other girls but I don't think you're like that I think you're very I like to copy girls sometimes you'll just say something you're interested in they'll be like that's so pick me and I're like that. I think you're very, I like to copy girls. Well, sometimes you'll just say something you're interested in and they'll be like, that's so pick me. And I'm like, that's okay. I'll be like, yeah, I read this book. And they'll be like, no, you didn't. Okay. Well, that sounds like they're just like projecting. I know. But I get, I do get hurt by that. Cause I'm like, I, I have, I've had moments where I'm like, that was, why did I say that? I guess. Yeah. I mean, but I don't think that considers you that.

Also, I don't think pick me's are that bad. When people say it, I'm like, you know, it's like gaslight. It's like people learned the term. I'm so glad the term didn't exist when I was like in high school because that was when I was really struggling with the whole pygmy situation. But like, the gaslighting is on another level. The gaslighting word, people using that, it's like, it's up

there a little bit with narcissists for me because I'm just like, I don't even know what is gaslighting, what's narcissistic. Yeah, people do, and it sucks because narcissists is thrown around so much that's like like, I don't even know what is gaslighting, what's narcissists. Yeah, people do. And it sucks because narcissists is thrown around so much that you almost don't even know what a real one looks like anymore. Right. Because there's a difference between somebody who's just self-obsessed and somebody who's a narcissist. And then what is that difference?

And it's like, you don't know. Or people who just are like, like you said, people who genuinely love to love people. And is that a love bomb or is that a narcissist? It's crazy to decipher. I don't understand it. I'm trying to get on like therapy TikTok and try to understand like all these little things I'm like I watch one who talks about like complex PTSD which is like like a lot of people who have like childhood trauma and stuff and it like have you heard of like limerence no what is that it's supposed to be like or well it's it is it's like when you become so obsessed

with somebody that you know you can't have or you know that they don't want you back and you like imagine a whole life with them and like wow and it's something I do all the time wait what is I think I've had I think I have that still all the time it's like like when I would do it like especially when I was younger I would do it with like celebrities and stuff but now it's like people who I meet I will like literally have one conversation with a guy and all of a sudden I'm like thinking about our whole life together and I obsess over it. Wait, and where does the limerence come from?

Like, is it a- I think that's just like the word that describes it. I'm probably butchering it because I'm like- I never heard that word because I think that about literally every celebrity. Like I envision or like TV shows or anything, I envision like, oh, what if we're friends or what if... I really see it happening. I even tell my husband

about it too. It used to be when I was single I really thought I was going to marry Brad Pitt. I was like, well, let me do this cardboard cutout thing. Maybe he'll notice me. Maybe we'll get married. I really thought it in my head. I like that too. I've always been really celebrity obsessed too. I wonder if that's a... I wonder. Oh, there is a thing. I think

Dr. Drew told me about this too. It's something about, cause I asked him this, cause I was like, what is it about? Why do I want... It's like being picked by this person who's like adored by everybody. It's like, you know, when you go to a concert and you dream about being picked up on stage and it's about being like selected, you know, you want to be the chosen one because so many people love this person. So if they love you, that must be something like extra special about you is how I would think. Or just the fact that they're so adored for me with celebrities. I'm like, Oh, people, people know them. And Oh, we get nice seats. If we go to like restaurants, like it was always that I just liked the idea of, yeah, I don't know what it is. It is weird. It is either. Cause not everyone thinks that about

celebrities. Like no people don't have that at all. And like, I feel like people have like healthy obsessions with, or like they'll like be a fan of somebody without being like, so I used to get like physically ill over like celebrities. Same, yes. Like the fact, like Miley Cyrus, for example, I was like, I can't like, it hurt me so bad that she would never be my friend. Interesting. I get that way too. Or I think, oh, this person wouldn't like me. So, you know, I get like that too. It's interesting you do with girls too. So it's not just guys that you would like be like, we're going to, we could have relationship. Yeah.

I'm trying to think. I was never like a Justin Bieber. I know a lot of people feel that way about like Justin Bieber, but like. I think I'm too old for Justin Bieber. I don't get that. I think I was like a little bit too old for it too. I just like didn't, I never like fell into that. Right.

Who was one? Nick Jonas. Really? I thought I like, I was so ill over it I would like cry I'm like he will never be my husband and he really won't he's married did you get sad? cause sometimes I got sad when they would get married or if I found out they had

babies I'm like shit and now I can't be with them yeah did you actually get were you when he actually got married? well I mean I had probably like outgrown him a bit by then but you weren't a little sad I would always get a little sad I still do. I'm married, and sometimes I'm like, oh, man. I guess I won't get with them.

You know what I mean? Sometimes I feel like when I find out someone has a – I think I found out The Weeknd had a girlfriend. I was like, oh, man. Oh, my God. I just got an email about The Weeknd is doing a collab with Blue Bottle or something, and they were sending merch. I'm like, you have to send it to Trisha.

Oh, my God. He's my new obsession. I'm telling you, I go through these phases, and I didn't care about him two like sending merch. I'm like, you have to send it to Trisha. Oh my God. I know. He's my new obsession. I'm telling you, I go through these like phases and I didn't care about him like two months ago and now I'm like obsessed with him. So it is weird. And I think about him like being my friend. I even tell him, I was like, okay, well he could come on the podcast. And I'm like, what if he does like a second season of The Idol and he wants me on?

Like, would you let me kiss him on the show? Like it's very, I think it's a second. I love it. I love how far you think into everything. It's funny. I think you're just like a big imaginer and I'm that way too where I like, I love to just like completely make up entire stories in my head. I think it's, I think it's healthy as long as you're not like acting on it. You know, like there's stalkers who then go like, we're supposed to be together.

I guess that is where it gets like, I've never stalked anyone. No. But I've thought about it. Yeah. I don't think I've ever, I mean, I definitely show up to people's houses that I know. Like if I was dating someone and we broke up, I've definitely showed up I mean to like pretty much every ex-boyfriend's house like uninvited but no not to celebrities same but I will show up to like book sign I used to I don't do this anymore but I used to show up to like book signings and stuff

like hoping to get to meet them or you know meet and greets or something but if someone would tell me a celebrity's there I would like go you know and if they weren't I'd be like so disappointed I feel like me and Lila used to be like that if we like knew like a certain influencer or something was going to be at a party we'd be like have to go. Interesting so do you feel that way about social media people? Because I never felt that way with social media people. I did for sure I did. Really?

Like when I was in college and stuff like honestly like the vlog squad. Wait really? I loved I loved that and I was like I was always like so excited if I would see them at Saddle Ranch or something. And it's so ironic now because now I'm like, mm-mm. Wait, really? So you got over that?

Oh, yeah. How did you get over it? You were obsessed with them, and then how were you just- Well, just knowing. The magic goes away when you know them. That's true. They always say never meet your idols, I guess. Have you ever had that where you meet a celebrity and you're disappointed about it?

Oh, yeah. I mean, I'm trying to think. I mean, maybe not disappointed, but you know, like in my head, I think me and Britney Spears were going to be best friends. And then you go to the meet and greet and obviously she meets so many people and she doesn't have time to talk to you. So we didn't even exchange words. And I was like, I feel like she would love you.

Well, I mean, it was a, it was a two second exchange. We have a picture together and it was so quick. And I was just a little bit after I was like, God, I really thought we were going to be friends. Well, you will. I know. You will. I was like, God, I really thought we were going to be friends. Well, you will. I know. Well. You will.

I know it. Who would be your Drake moment to have on the podcast that you think, oh, this is it. This is where we made it. Oh, I don't know. I mean, I would obviously, of course, love to have like Brittany. Yeah. But Brittany would never go on a canceled podcast. Maybe.

But I just love her. To me, she would do random stuff like that. Like she'll pick a random. I feel like she would come on. I feel like she would be safest here. I think Zach said that too. I'll love her. To me, she would do random stuff like that. She'll pick a random. I feel like she would come on. I feel like she would be safest here. I think Zach said that, too. I'll take it. I feel like she would be so open.

Oh, my God. It would be great. She lives very close. And I didn't even know her. I did not follow her here. But she lives very close to us, like five minutes. And I'm just like, oh, because I see her in the same spot. So I'm always like, so we'll go to the Dave's Hot Chicken she goes to.

I was like, oh, I know where that is. Oh, my gosh. She goes to Dave's Hot Chicken? Yes. I'm like, she's a woman with taste. It's kind of everything. I actually never had it, I think where that is. Oh my gosh, she goes to Dave's Hot Chicken? Yes. I'm like, she's a woman with taste. It's kind of everything. I actually never had it, I think, before her, but. Oh, it's so good. I love that you love Britney because you are so, you're like 10 years younger than me, so it's like. But I had an, well, I had my older sister, so like. Okay. When we were young, it was like, it was all Britney. Very Britney. Christina. But you are

Miley. You said you like the Miley. I loved, I still to this day, I love Miley so much. Like, she was my one that I was like so sick. I loved her. Maybe she can. And she's honestly, she's what made me like be obsessed with famous people too. Cause I like, I used to not like understand that people could just be rich. I thought it was like, you're either poor or famous. Yeah. So I was like, oh my God, I have to be famous. Yeah. To be, to be Miley Cyrus. Yeah. That's how I always thought too. I thought I wanted to be famous or even an actress to like meet these people. Cause I'm like, well, how do they meet? Okay. An actress. So that's why I always thought too. Yeah. That's how I always thought, too. I thought I wanted to be famous or even an actress to meet these people. Because I'm like, well, how do they meet? Okay, an actress.

That's why I always thought, too. Yeah. And being famous, I guess with your generation, social media was the way. But for me, I was like, how do I become famous? Because there wasn't social media. And I'm like, I just want to be famous. Yeah, I didn't have any talent. Yeah, same.

It's like, can't sing, can't dance. Did you try? Were you trying to? Did you ever sing or dance? No. No, you never even tried? Well, I did dance. I actually grew up dancing.

Oh, okay. No singing. No singing. No singing at all. No acting. You just want to be an actress. I wanted to. I tried it.

I like, you know, I dabbled. And I would love to do it now. I feel like now I feel a lot more confident to do like things I wouldn't have done before. Because I feel like too, now you have, well, one, you have the experience for on camera. You have the fan base. You have that confidence that people love you. And that's what's like kind of special about it. It's like I would have never wanted to make YouTube videos if I didn't think people wanted to watch.

So the canceled thing was so nice because it was like. So you did after. Yeah. So Tana just invited me on canceled. I did a bunch of episodes. And then as soon as I started feeling like, oh, like. Spring is here and you can now get almost anything you need delivered with Uber Eats. What do we mean by almost? You can't get a well-groomed lawn delivered, but you can now get almost anything you need delivered with Uber Eats. What do we mean by almost?

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Instacart. Grocer groceries that over-deliver. People care. So she asked you to do canceled without, you never did any YouTube videos or anything? I wasn't on social media at all. I was just her friend. How do you think that happened? Why? Because she has so many friends and so many like outgoing friends.

Why do you think she picked you? I don't know, but I feel so lucky about it. That's amazing. I love that even more. That's so cool. But maybe she just knew. She's like, you're the one. She asked me like some random day. I don't know if she thought that it was going to be like forever. It was definitely just the first episode in the beginning, but then we just did a few more and it stuck. But I'm so like, so grateful. And people like love you. Like they really do love you. I'm not exaggerating. I say like every,

every week we do a live chat and everyone's like, Brooke, Brooke, when's Brooke coming on? Like it's, it's very cool to see. I love it. Oh my God. And I love the story of how you just like fell into it too. I just like, I want, of course I wanted to do it. Like I would have loved to do social media, but like I was nervous to make YouTube videos. I was nervous to do anything just like, just the same way I would have never been able to do shows or anything. And now it's like, since we have canceled, I feel comfortable doing it. Was this your first tour this year? Yeah. Oh yeah. Oh my God. So how was it?

It was so amazing. Oh my God. Would you guys go on stage? And did you just do a podcast live? Yeah. We just do a live podcast. We planned it a little bit before because obviously we don't want to get up there and be like, so. Yeah. Like, what's up? Do you guys do Q&As on it? Kind of.

We try to interact with the audience a little bit, just like, what do you guys do for work? And then we'll talk to them about that. But we had so many people who were like lawyers and teachers. I'm like, what? That's wild, isn't it? You think like, oh my God, you have like a real job and you're watching us. It's like crazy. I think that's so fun.

You think it's just like little kids. And you guys were playing huge venues. What were they, like 5,000? Oh, no. Our biggest one, I think, was 2,500, which was like crazy. That's huge. Because there was one where it was like double stacked, I saw. Yeah.

It was Pittsburgh. Wow. And- That's huge. It was so fun. It's cool too. Cause like social media is hard because of like, you can see the numbers, but it's like not physical people.

You don't understand that they're like real. Yeah. And for people to come out, it's very hard. I think the most I ever sold me was like 700 tickets. It's like 2,500 is very hard. I need you to tour again. I would do anything. I think my touring days are done.

I liked it at the time, but I was just, I was in a dark place. So I just needed it to get out of the house and like do something. But I get, I, maybe that's where I get anxiety. I don't know if I should call it anxiety. Cause it's like, I can like function, but I get nervous. I just get nervous with people. It's not like the fans, obviously it's like haters or something coming out, even though it's never happened. I just get nervous about that. Yeah. I don't know. It's like a whole stressful situation anyway. It's like a lot to tour and traveling and stuff. The traveling every weekend. Cause you guys were just going out on the weekends

and coming back. We were, we would do like four or five shows at a time and then come back and like sometimes during the week. Yeah. That's just kind of random, but. And it was just you guys or were you guys traveling with people? Um, different people different people came every time I mean we had a tour manager Lila came to the whole show Lila's in every show because people love Lila yeah she's the greatest she's a wild card the funniest person alive I love it how'd you guys meet um she no I actually met her she was best or she was close friends with my roommate like when I first moved here and I had a random roommate oh and I just stole her I was like that's my friend does she does she live in the house with the can or does she live you live by yourself right I live by myself and Lila lives by herself too okay she's a really really great apartment I love your apartment I think I know where you live and I

always wanted to live there and it's like so expensive I remember looking at it I was like oh my god that place it is so stupid but I'm like I'm so stupid with my money no I think you're at the age and like you're making the money I was the same way I spent so much money on it I saw you I literally saw you talking about it today I'm like I'm exactly like that I'm like if it's in my account I have to spend it it's there so you said I don't want to save it too so because I'm like one day what if one day the canceled podcast is just over and I'm like fuck yeah you know what I I have no advice to give on that because honestly I'm the same way too. The only reason I was able to save money was because quarantine,

I like couldn't do anything. So I was just like, all right, let me like save money. Yeah. I'm saving now, but it's been really hard. It comes back around. Yeah. I mean. That's what my mom says. She's like, it's going to, it always does. That's the one thing I definitely believe in, which is like, maybe it's like people don't like this thing, especially savers, but money is such a flow. And like, that's another thing that I know for sure is money always comes back around. And I do believe the more money you put up, the more you spend, like you, more you get. I think so too. That's like the only manifestation I'm like really, really passionate about. I'm very big into that, that money's a flow. You got to spend money and money will come

back. Like, you know, when I tip, I'm always like $20, $30. Like I just, you know, I just know it all comes back. So it's never something to worry, especially you're doing such a good thing too, you know, with your money. So I'm trying. Yeah. And you work hard and you know, I do especially touring. Touring is hard. It's like such hard work, especially meeting everyone. Meet and greets are exhausting. Like just to take pictures and talk and yeah, but so fun. And it's like, do you love it? I love it. That's the only thing I'd miss is I miss meet and greets. I think those are so fun. It is. Because people are so excited. You just can't, like, I can't believe, I'm like, you care about it.

Yeah, people, and to see it, to see it, like you said, in person is such a different feeling than just reading comments online. Right. And it's just, like, surreal. Everything online feels fake to me. I'm like. Which is kind of a good thing. But you need to, like, keep it that way, especially don't go on Reddit.

Except for the hate. I'm like, that feels really real. No. Isn't that so silly, though? You're like, none of it feels real. I know. Except the hate. That is that feels really real no isn't that so silly though you like none of it feels real I know that's what that is what's sad about it is like you read like a billion sweet sweet amazing comments and then like the one person who's like she's a dumb pick me I'm like it's not the worst thing to be called I guess no there's way I get called way worse things a lot of people think I like hate Tana oh wait I'm like okay I feel like that's just normal

because it's like women they always want to pin women against women so. Yeah and she's my best friend of course like we argue and we fight and like we're on tour together so we're bickering constantly so like of course we're gonna like go back and forth a little bit. People just want to put that out there. I think the people had said that for so many years that I hated Tana

too because of like everything. They're like she hates Tana like the vlog squats up. I'm like I never hated Tana. I always say that. I'm like, I always, like, feel bad for Tana, because she's always in the midst of all this. She loves it, though. She's so good at, like, capitalizing on that. She's a brilliant, like, mind when it comes to the drama.

Yeah, no, she's very smart. And it seems, I don't know her in that way, but she doesn't seem so emotional about stuff. She doesn't get her emotions in the way. She's not. That's, like, her superpower. That's, like, the one thing I just, I wish I had so bad, because she's, stuff she doesn't get her emotions that's like her superpower that's like the one thing i just i wish i had so bad because she's like she can detach her emotions from everything and i'm so emotional yeah i'm very much the same way i take everything very personal and see something she can like detach which is like great even with your guys's situation the whole mindy situation stuff like that i always thought or or the recent

one with ashley i'm like i asked her when she was on the podcast, how do you overcome stuff like that? How do you just let it go? Because for me, we were talking about grudges. I'm like, I would hold grudges all day long if someone slept with someone I liked. You're so good at that. I can't hold a grudge with anybody. But she- Oh, you can't hold grudges.

I can't easily hold a grudge. I forgive everybody for everything. And it's my fatal flaw because it's like, these people step all over me. But Tana, she's just very like she's very like loyal to her friends like all of her friends have been with her forever yeah she doesn't have like she doesn't really make a lot of new friends like everybody's like always been her friend so she just like holds out i think that's a good way to be can you get over you get over stuff easily i yeah because i just feel like i always i make excuses for people and like yeah

they were going through it yeah yeah i think that's good i i used to hold grudges i let it I, yeah, because I just feel like I always, I make excuses for people. Yeah. They were going through it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I think that's good. I used to hold grudges. I let it go a lot more now. Like, oh, definitely let it go now because it just like eats you up and stuff. It's not good. I know.

And that's the thing. It's like it affects me more than anything. Like even with like the ex thing, I was like, I don't want to hate him because it's like it hurts me, not him. And it's hard to let that go. It's like so hard to let it go. And just friends in general. Like girlfriends are always, have always been difficult for me. I like the idea of it. And you have to see a lot of girlfriends in your life. How do you manage it? How do you deal with it? Like, how do you, is there drama or is it just not as much

drama? Yeah, of course there's drama, but I've, I've always had a lot of girlfriends. Like I was in a sorority. Well, I was a dancer growing up. So it's like all my dance friends. And then a sorority is like exactly the same. The sorority life sounds insane. I've never met a sorority girl. Really? It's exactly what it sounds like too. It's literally like, it's so crazy and honestly toxic. And looking back on it now, I'm like, I was in a cult.

Oh really? You think it was toxic? It was like, yes and no. It's good for a lot of things. It teaches you a lot. It's supposed to help with being an upstanding woman and stuff like that. But also, you're living in a house with 60 girls. Of course, it's going to be really toxic.

What was the most toxic thing that happened? I don't know. I feel like it's a lot of comparison and competition. Especially, there were girls who had so much more money and were so evil to the girls who didn't and stuff like that really yeah it was a money theory like it's very choosy like recruitment like when you have you ever seen like recruitment tiktok yes like the bama rush it's so much more insane than like you even know like i was on the recruitment team and there's like 2 000 girls who come through um recruitment on the first day and there's like 2,000 girls who come through recruitment. On the first day before anyone even walks in the door, you drop 1,000 girls.

Because you've gone through their social media, you find out if you want them or not, and they're dropped before they even walk in the door. Based on what? Just the way they look? Just like followers? Yeah, yeah. Just like super, very superficial things. And it's horrible to watch. And you'll seek out girls that you want. If a if a girl's, like, really pretty and rich and, like, whatever you want her.

So, like, you'll make sure the prettiest, richest girl gets her in recruitment. Oh, interesting. So they don't look at it as, like, competition. To me, I'd be like, I don't want the pretty girl because she'll, like, take our men. No, because you want to be, like, the whole thing is, like, wanting to be the top house. So you want to have, like, the prettiest girls. It's so, so stupid. That's so interesting.

At the time, they convince you that it's something positive, and it's like you want all the best, most upstanding girls around you, but really it's like a competition. Wow. Okay, so did they ever do, what is that called when they, it's not harassment, but it's like bullying. Hazing. Hazing, yes.

We didn't get hazed. No, the girls don't do it, so sororities don't really do it. Some do, ours didn't, thank God thank god okay so it was never like the boys definitely haze because i was like there was like a horror movie of like a sorority and they would like put stuff like over their head or like cut their hair or like suffocate them yeah i've heard like terrible stories about them like circling fat on girls and like so nothing like that ever happened no okay thank god that's good I guess but yeah so I had girlfriends obviously in my sorority and then I still have all of those friends like wow and came

here and I met like I was at catch with all girls same situation I've always been just around a lot of girls okay so you're like always been like a girl's girl kind of I mean I I'm like see that's a pick me thing to say I'm like I'm just a girl's girl no to me that's the opposite of pick me I would be a pick me where I'm just like I never like girls they just don't get along with me like that's the opposite of pick me. I would be a pick me where I'm just like, I never like girls. They just don't get along with me. Like, that's what I think is a pick me. I think like someone who's around girls is not a pick me. They're like a girl's girl. I don't know. I just love, like, I love girls. Yeah. I have sisters. I'm like, I just loved girls. That's so interesting. I guess it's like secure. I think I was just always very insecure. I always thought in my mind that like if I was friends with girls,

like I could never get a guy or my boyfriends would want to cheat on them or something like, I don't know. I definitely had that. Like I've had friends girls like I could never get a guy or my boyfriends would want to cheat on them or something like I don't know I definitely had that like I've had friends that I'm like very jealous of like that the friend I was talking about earlier like the beautiful one who would bring me around like I was so jealous of her because every guy like she was immediately like the one that would be hard to be friends with because I was like I don't think I could be because I'd be like no one will look at was. I'm like, she's not my friend anymore. Do you talk to her now? No. Oh, really?

I lost her. Wait, why? Because of that? Because of that, literally. Oh, interesting. Well, not just because of that. There was like a lot of things. I love pretty girls. I get really intimidated.

Now it's like, and I'm older and it's like not as much, but when I was younger, I was always intimidated by pretty girls. I was like, oh, they're so pretty. Or skinny. I was like, oh, they're skinny and I want to be around them. They're just, you know, just comparison. It's always me. I was like that too. Yeah're skinny and I want to be around them. They're just, you know, just comparison. It's always me. I was like that too.

But you always were thin. Like, I look back at your old pictures when you were in college. Well, yeah. I mean, I don't know. I just used to, like, struggle with it a lot more. Now I'm like, I mean, I lost the breakup weight and I'm like, thank God. Interesting, because I know you were saying you don't like sometimes when people comment on your weight loss.

No, I don't mind it at all. I just, a lot of people were, like, accusing me of being on Ozempic and like, Oh, that is the craze right now. In the beginning, in the beginning I was like, Oh my God, thank you. And then like the more it happened, I'm like, okay, like it's annoying. Cause I know when I saw it, I was like, Oh my God, you look great. And then I saw something where you're like, I don't really like when people got, I'm gonna get it. Cause it's like, you lost in a bad way. I know that everyone means it like nicely. I have, I've had people though, kind of like imply that I wasn't pretty before. Or like I had a friend tell me like, Oh, I don't even want to go out with you anymore. And I'm like, what does that even mean? Like, like as if I used to

be like so easy to stand next to, and now I'm not like kind of thing. And I was like, that's kind of like backhanded. No, definitely the implications of it. I think in general, like when people comment on people's weight loss, it can be triggering for people for that reason. It's like, you're only valued if you like lose weight, you know? Yeah, that's the problem is you like, that's your biggest fear. Like, is that like people don't like you as much because you're heavier. And then as soon as like you're validated in that, it's like, oh shit. Yeah. But it's just the world. I'm like, if I gain the weight back, is everyone going to be like, okay, well. Yeah. And people will. People are so judgy.

I mean, obviously, I know every time I gain weight, everyone's always saying that. But I always think about that. Like, God, if I lost like 150 pounds, everyone would be like, oh my God. Like, you know, you're just like raised on this pedestal, you know? That's so true. I don't know. Like, I feel like I never notice people's weight. That's like what I would try to tell myself like when I was so sick over it and like wanted

to lose weight so bad. I'm like, I don't ever look at somebody and I'm like, she's a fatty. Yeah. In general, I definitely don't. I definitely don't look at people I feel like it's such a personal thing like you just like only really focus on yourself but like but then like you said the right my writer when I was looking at it was all just like she's disgusting and fat like everything was just she's fat she's fat look at her angles here she's I'm like oh my god it was that is so insane to me like I cannot because I'm like it's very obvious it's not like a thing but I but that would be like my trigger for sure that's why I had to stop looking it was like three months ago I completely stopped looking at any comments like read it anything that

I have Moses moderated and honestly like changed my life my whole life just good after good after win after win started happening when I stopped looking at that stuff yeah it's it is like it's hard too because like especially like talking about canceled and stuff I feel like I start to adapt to like what the comments say so if they're saying I'm like doing this too much I'm all of a sudden acting different and I'm thinking about like what the perception is going to be instead of just like being my actual self and so I'm like I'd rather just not read it and like behave how I want to behave oh my god I didn't even know Reddit I did a podcast a couple years ago I didn't even know Reddit was and I wish so badly that I didn't know what Reddit was. I had no idea. I didn't,

and I guess maybe it's changed over the years, like snark Reddit and stuff. But then like after that podcast, I started looking at it and I was just like, oh my God, this was happening the whole time. But I'm, thank God I didn't know because it's just better to like, and now too, I try not to read anything about it because I'm just like, okay, I just like have fun. Yeah. I haven't deleted right now. I haven't been on there in a while, but I do struggle with it a bit. It's like, it's my guilty, like, I know this is going to in a while but I I do struggle with it a bit it's like it's my guilty like I know this is gonna hurt me but I want to do it don't do it oh my god if you can if you can go like a month without I swear it's like life-changing even though you don't believe in like all that stuff I really do I have I literally have the I am sober app and it just

says reddit at the top good good and honestly that's the best way I know when I was sober I was like August 25th was the last time I looked at it and I was just like honestly I feel so much better like life changed completely like my mental health I'm gonna do it was like August 25th was the last time I looked at it. And I was just like, honestly, I feel so much better. Like life changed completely. Like my mental health. I'm going to do it because Trisha told me to do it. Do it. I'll do anything Trisha says. I promise you.

I promise you it works. I know I'm very like spiritual now and stuff like that. But that's like the one thing. If you like don't look at negativity, like it doesn't exist. Yeah. And bad energy breeds bad energy. Yeah. I feel like it's just going to bring more negative into my life.

You start thinking about stuff or you start thinking this. And it's absolutely the worst thing for you, for sure. I know. And it's hard. We are so similar in so many ways. And that's like one of my worst. It's like a compulsion. I literally can't stop myself from doing it.

It's the same thing as the eating. It's the same thing as texting my ex. It's like I cannot. I don't want to do it. But then when you can stop it, I know. I mean, there's certain things I still can't stop, like the eating and the spending and stuff like that, but that I was able to, and it's like, you know, baby steps. Thank God. I'm like, I'm going to stop. I promise. Yeah. Cause it will, it will, it'll change your life. What do you do now that you're off tour? What do you,

what's your day to day life look like? Um, just honestly, like I'm, I'm trying to focus on the YouTube thing. I love YouTube. That's my favorite platform right now. Really? So I'm like, I honestly, you wouldn't think so because I upload like one vlog a month. What do you like? But I just love it. I like, I love vlogging. I like do a lot of that now. Wow.

So you vlog, oh, that's, vlogging is very difficult. So you vlog every day or? No, I just honestly vlog as, as interesting things are happening. And then I take care of my cat oh my god what's your cat's name Murphy cute have you seen interstellar no what is that you you would love it is it a movie it's a movie it's with Matthew McConaughey who's another one that I'm just so sickly obsessed with it makes me sick that I would never marry him is he married he's married he's in like He's in one of the longest standing relationships in all

of Hollywood. Oh, dang. And he has beautiful children. It makes me want to die. Okay. Well, not him then. But best movie ever. And his daughter in the movie is Murphy. Interstellar, what's it about? God, it's kind of hard to explain. Is it space? Basically, yeah. He goes to space. I know it doesn't sound interesting, but it's the most crazy ending in any movie ever. Can you watch a long movie? Yes, I can. But space movies are hard for me to watch. But he's so hot.

Can you give me the spoiler so I know? I like to know a spoiler. Well, it's like... Spoiler alert. Fast forward two minutes. Is it new? I don't even know. Time passes differently when he's in space.

So when he gets back, his daughter is like 99. And it's just like... Oh. he's in space. So when he gets back, his daughter is like 99. And it's just like, it's horribly sad. But the actual premise of the movie is so crazy. You have to see it. Okay, I'll watch it if you tell me to. Because honestly, I like to watch movies. I just don't know any. I don't have any good ones.

That's my favorite movie of all time. Actually, second favorite movie of all time. What's your first? The Greatest Showman. What? Are you a musical girly? I'm that musical girl. Just that one.

Trisha, I saw that movie six times in theaters, and then I made the PowerPoint, and I came to LA. Wait. I literally, that was why. What was your PowerPoint? You're like, I want to be in this movie. I want to date these people. I saw it, and I was like, this needs to be my life.

I am not supposed to be a nurse. I'm joining the circus. Oh, you actually wanted to join. I thought maybe you wanted to be in a movie. Yeah, I wanted to be in a movie. But, like, I was so fascinated by that movie, I was like, I would do anything to have, like, been a part of that. Because it looked so fun to me, and I was like, I have to go. Greatest show, I am obsessed with musicals.

And I, like, couldn't. You didn't like it? I love the TikTok sound. So I was like, let me watch it, because I was, like, all into the TikTok songs. Well, maybe because you're, like, more well-versed in musicals. Like, that was my only musical that I watched. So I was like, I love Tic Tac songs. But I. Well, maybe because you're like more well versed in musicals. Like that was my only musical that I watched. So I was like, I love this. What, who, what part, what was captivating to you?

Hugh Jackman. I just. Oh, he's single now. I think he just got divorced. Yay. After like 40 years. He was married for like a really long time and they just got divorced. I just saw he was at the game with Taylor Swift and Travis Kelce.

I'm like, what are you doing there, Wolverine? And like Sabrina Carpenter and him. And I was like, this is very odd. What a strange group. No, Hugh Jackman. I was never a Hugh Jackman girly though. Like he was in like Les Mis. And I just, I don't know. I don't really. Really? What's your favorite? You were, you're a Hamilton. You love Hamilton. I do love Hamilton, but that was like a

phase. Oh, okay. I think I go through phases. I go through a lot of phases too. You know, yeah, I think I go through different things. It's kind of just, and I don't even know where they come from. They just kind of come, you know. Do you have a favorite musical at all? Oh, um, I mean, oh yeah, there's one. It's very obscure. It's called Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat. It's called what? You just did your Ellen reading fast. I know, it's very long. Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dream Quote. It's kind of like a Bible musical. It's hilarious. Sorry, Donny Osmond. It's very obscure. It's not bad. It's Andrew Lloyd Webber,

but I mean... Wait, Osmond, that's like Mary Osmond. Marie Osmond, yeah. Do you know her? How do you know them? No, my grandparents. My grandma loved. Donny and Marie? My grandma loved them and loved Michael Buble. Oh! That seems about the era. Yeah, when I go to Donny Osmond, I just had him on the podcast when I went to his show.

Oh, my God. Yeah, he was my dream. He's actually my dream guest. And I met him multiple times, but to get them on the podcast. Oh, my God. Now who, if you could have anybody in the world, who would you have? I mean, I literally, Donny was like my number one. But yeah, probably now.

Now I'm in the weekend phase. So the weekend. The weekend. We're getting the weekend on the podcast. He doesn't do any podcasts. He never does interviews or anything, but I really like him. I hate when no one does anything and then you see him pop out on Call Her Daddy or something. Or Bobby, I'll talk.

He'll probably be on next. That's like, I'll probably just die. Oh, my God. Do you think that, not that I'm wishing for her to not succeed, but do you think that that's sustainable or do you think she's going to? Oh, yeah. I'm the worst person to ask for this. I'm a little bit of a hater.

I know that I'm a hater because I'm like jealous yeah I know when I hate I'm like super jealous of someone so um but but if like I'm really trying to like take like the goggles off like I don't know I don't I really don't get it which is why maybe I'm like really upset about it because I'm just like I don't get it like I just don't the only reason I feel weird about it is because like like, I started, like, I loved them in the beginning. And now I'm, like, I'm getting a little bit, like, tired of her character. Yeah. Because she's, I saw her on a podcast where she's actually being herself and, like, speaking and stuff. And I loved her personality.

But it's, like, I can only see somebody, like, make someone feel awkward for so long, I feel like. And that's what it is. I think the schtick gets, like, old. Like, you're like, how much money do you have? You know, like, it kind of gets old. And I don't think she, I don't know. Because she did one with Scarlett Johansson. Did you see that one? I haven't seen that one. It's not out yet, but they were doing clips on X

and she was really nice to her. It was a very opposite. She was very into it. Very like, oh, I love your hair. Let me fix it. She was a different character completely. So I was like, I wonder if she's pivoting. Oh, maybe she's having to pull out some different characters. But people were like, well, okay, it's a woman. So was it just men that you're being uncomfortable with?

Which is like, you know, people's, the whole thing is very weird. I just like, I feel like anytime someone gets like really successful really quickly, it's like a little scary. Yeah. Oh, oh, I would never want that. Except for maybe like Charli D'Amelio. Yeah. Well, oh my God.

I never see her anymore. She's okay. I was like so mean to her when I was like back in the day. I don't know, like for no reason. Honestly, you know what? I'm mean for no reason all the time, but Charlie's so cute to me. I just think she's like- I love her now. I haven't seen her. I know she had like perfume and Ulta. I bought it. I was like, yes. And I know she's dating Landon Barker. And I was like, yes. And Addison Ray, I'm like obsessed with her. And I was a hater for so long. I'm obsessed with Addison Ray. Addison

Ray is the best. I think I genuinely scare her. I saw her the other night and she like said hi to me, but I'm like, I know that she thinks I'm weird. I talk about her all the time. Wait, really? I love her. Maybe she just thinks you'll talk like about her on the podcast. You know what I mean? Cause she seems. I do, but I'm always like, I love her.

Oh, you're like sweet about it. I feel like me. She's like, oh my God, this old ass woman just talking about me. Like she's just like, she's like everything I want to be. Her music is actually so good. It's like such a bomb. Like I remember a couple of years ago she compared herself to Britney Spears and everyone's like, ew, you'll never be.

But I'm like, I honestly think she's the next Britney Spears. She has that Louisiana charm, first of all. And then her paparazzi photos. She'll be wearing Crocs and a dress. And I'm like, she looks amazing. No, she's great. I actually really love her. I love all the TikTok girls.

Is Charlie making TikTok still? Is she still out? Oh, OK. She is. They're doing their show. They have their Hulu show. Oh, yeah. I see it pop up. That's pretty good for them. Would you ever do a show?

No, I'm not interesting enough. I really am not. People always think that. You're so confused. You need to work on your like self worth because you are like the most interesting person in the entire world. No, people think that and we'll get reality shows all the time coming to us for pilots when we got married, when we had the baby. And it's just like not enough people, I think, because it's literally me, Moses, and that's it. It is hard. I feel like all the ones that are really successful are like the Kardashians and the D'Amelis where there's like 17 people. You need friends, you need recurring characters, and it's just like, there's literally no one in our lives except for us. So it's just not that interesting. I would be so interested. I feel like you're like funny in such a unique way.

Like everyone's funny. Like there's so many funny people, but you're funny in such a unique way. Everyone's funny. There's so many funny people, but you're funny in a Theo Vaughn way where it's like, you have to be so smart to be that kind of funny. Oh, well, Theo Vaughn's another level, but I appreciate the compliment. But people think Theo Vaughn's, he has a dumb character kind of that he plays. He has to be brilliant to be that funny. I recently got into him too because of TikTok. So I kept seeing him all over on TikTok. Have you met him? I met him. Because you talk about him a lot. I did. I met him once. Were you his friends or no?

No, kind of. Like he invited Tana and I to a show and then he like came and had drinks with us after. He doesn't drink. So we drank and he sat there. Oh my gosh. But he's so like truly that character. Wow. Wait, in real life? Yes. So I like almost felt like weird when he left i was like did he like me did he not like me like oh my god how great was it easy to talk to him so is he like in a character i guess no he's just he was just very like so where like where are you from like very just like is he funny or just he's he's very funny but i just i felt awkward oh my god maybe you're going back into your stand-up comic era i know i wish i have the biggest crush on theovon ever yeah doesn't he has like i don't know much about him but i think i saw something he has like mental health issues too like he takes breaks for his mental health

to mental health issues apparently that's a good thing because then you can understand each other's yeah that's i don't keep any company that doesn't have mental illness yeah because they to find someone who doesn't have it and there's a lot of people who like are like normal or what do they call them like there's something like whatever but um you have to find someone who doesn't have it, and there's a lot of people who are normal or whatever, but you have to find someone that understands it. Yeah, I feel like it's nice. Friends and partners, I feel like, should have some level of understanding. Yeah, it's hard. My last relationship, he just was a denier, so he was like, you're crazy.

Well, he was a different level of crazy. He definitely had something wrong with him. I'm like, call's coming from inside the house. I kind of feel bad for him. In a way, I feel bad for him because, like you said, there must be something so deep. I do. Especially lying. When I was younger, I lied all the time.

I was a compulsive liar as a kid. And there is something wrong. It's like a hiding trauma. It's stuff that I disassociated from. And there was so much trauma happening that I didn't even realize it. And I just started lying about little things that didn't matter. I would lie, too. I used to lie all the time about, like, I would't even realize it. I just started lying about little things that didn't matter. I would lie too. I used to lie all the time about I would do a vision test and they'd be like

what letter is this? And I'd be like orange. I wanted attention so bad I'd be like oh my god I think I broke my leg. I don't know what it was but I was lying about the dumbest thing. That is so crazy. Same. I just was telling you this. I have the worst eyesight now

because I used to have perfect eye vision and I would purposely mess up the test so I could get glasses and I would just be like. Honestly, I think that's really common and every time I say it, like Tana makes me feel stupid about it, but I'm like, that's so,

people always like, people would come to school with knee braces on and I'm like, I know your knee's not hurting. That's, oh, oh, all the time. I would always get the little splinters at like the pharmacy or whatever and I'd be like, oh, my arm is sprained. 100%. I don't know where that came from but it's like it had to be the pick me

like I need attention I always loved when people came with like casts I was never brave enough to like throw myself down a hill to get a cast I always wanted to I was so jealous of anybody who got like seriously injured yeah oh my gosh should have been me everybody would sign their cast and I was I was so jealous of that. That's so interesting. And I visioned him. There has to be something behind that. If a lot of people are doing it. I mean, you're like one of the first people I've heard that's actually said that.

So I was like, wait, I used to lie about that too. I know, people don't admit to it. It's the same way like no one wants, you know how everybody says like, I would never want to be famous. I never wanted to be famous. And I'm like, you're lying. Wait, you think so? I feel like there's some people who generally don't. Like my brother has no inhibition.

No, but people who are famous. I'm like, there's social media people. I'm like, okay, well then what did you want? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like how did you get there then? You wouldn't be on social media if you didn't want to be famous. Yeah. Because I know a lot of people who don't want to be on social media,

and they're just simply not on social media. Yeah, exactly right. Yeah. And that always annoys me too. There's like falling into it, but then there's like a thing of like, I never wanted this, but then you're like a thing of like, I never wanted this, but then you're like doing it. But it's like, but you were posting 17 times a day. Like you were, you really, really wanted it.

And I know, and it's fine to want it. It's totally normal to want it. It's totally normal. And people on TikTok being like, why are you guys all commenting about this? Even though they put the TikTok, like the one with the bartender. Have you seen her, Michelle, the bartender? She talked about her husband, like getting drunk at a bar and bringing home a guy, like bringing home someone who's good.

They were going to rob them. And then she got mad at everyone for being like, you should divorce him. Like, stop commenting on my relationship. I'm like, girl, you put this out there. It was viral. People are crazy when it comes to that stuff. I'm like, OK, don't have to share everything. That's what I've learned.

Don't have to share everything online. Yeah, I'm trying to learn that, too. When I first had that little breakup, I went online. And I was like, come with me to get cheated on for the very first time. I made a whole vlog. Oh, really? And it was like, it was so, it did not feel good. I still to this day, I'm like, why would you do that? Yeah. I've had some crazy ones. I've had some crazy crying cause I had no one. I just reposted something today with like all your little titles. It was, I love like your thumbnails and your titles crack me up. It didn't help either that like back in the day that you got paid so much

for those kinds of videos. Like I would get 2 million views on a video and get like $200,000. Like you got paid so much back in the day. What happened and why can't we do that anymore? I know. I don't know. I remember it all like PewDiePie posted something and then we lost a bunch of ads and like something else happened. I don't know. It just went down and down and down. But there was a point like I'd make like $500,000 a month off YouTube and now it's like 5,000 a month. I missed, I missed the time. Yeah. That's such a bummer. It was a good era. It was like 2010, 2015. It was a good. Oh my God. I'm like, but you honestly very validating all those videos. I'm like, okay, somebody, there are people who are this emotional. Yeah. I think that's like the good thing about just you being up people being open about it is like there's so many more people that

can like relate and like oh maybe that's what I have and that mental illness I used to think like mentally people were like crazy I was like oh my god you're bipolar like you're nuts you know and especially growing up around it so much I was like I don't want I don't want to be that when when they when I first got diagnosed BPD I was literally like I'm like that is not true yeah like you don, I'm like, that is not true. Yeah. Like you don't want it to be like that's not me. Like that is not true at all. But. What year was it?

Do you remember that you, when you found out? I think I was like 18, 17 or 18. Oh, you were young. I was younger. So, and it was years that I was like, nope, that's not true. Right. Yeah. And then it was the breakup where I was like, okay, wait.

Did you go to therapy or anything or how did you? I have. I've gone, I mean, to a lot of therapists, but I don't really, I've never had like good experiences with therapy. I was that way too until I was like 31 or something. Yeah. Are you doing therapy now? Yeah.

Uh-huh. I do DBT. So those are like group classes, which are really great. You go once a week and they're amazing. Like I like it better. Because you don't always have to talk either. You don't have to share. It's just other people with borderline and they just all talk about their, you know,

weeks. I need to go. DBT. They look, they're so good and it like changed my life actually it's like so good but I was the same way like I never liked therapy and I could never find a therapist I liked it didn't help me either especially like when this last year when I was like really going through it I went through like seven different therapists and all of them were I finally found one I loved and then she like they changed the rules where you can't practice out of state anymore. So she couldn't, she had to break up with me. Oh no.

And I'm like, how could you do this to me at this time? Oh, talk about abandonment issues. Do you have abandonment issues with your borderline? Are you someone that's like, don't leave me? Oh yeah, for sure. That probably has like, yeah. Yeah. Very anxious, like attachment style.

Interesting. So that makes sense then why like breakups could feel like the end of the world to you. The world was ending. Interesting. So that makes sense then why like breakups could feel like the end of the world to you. The world was ending. Yeah. That's the most common trait I think with borderline people is that. Friends too though. Like I, I like really, really get like very overwhelming with friends. Really? And like attached to friends to where they'll be like, please relax. Oh, interesting. So what does that look like? Cause I've never had that with a friendship. So like, who would you say you're attached to? Like Lila? Yeah. Well, Lila, that's probably like healthy. I've had just friends where I just like want them around me all the time. And I get so upset. Like when, if I'm not invited to something, I'm like, Oh my God, like everybody hates me. Oh wow. And they'll

be like, you are too much. Really? Have you ever had friends like break up with you? Be like, you're a lot. Yes. Oh man. That would be the, me as like, I hate rejection. So I'd be like, Oh, I'm so sorry. Like I should never have been. Yeah. That's the worst. Yeah. Oh, do you deal with rejection? Okay. Um, yeah. Okay. So you're like, it's fine. If someone doesn't want to be your friend anymore, you're okay with it. Yeah. Well, I don't, I don't want to be friends with anyone who doesn't want to be friends with me. Well, that's the lesson right there. That's what I should have learned a long time ago. I just like cling to so hard for people to want to like me. I'm like, please be my friend. I do.

I just, I am like very much. I really want people to like me. That's probably like why the Reddit thing hurts so much. It's like, I really get sad when people don't like me. Yeah. It's just weird. And that's just weird. The stuff that they pick on you for it. Like she hates it.

Like just stuff that's like not real. At least pick on something that's like real. Or it's like a lot of people are like, she's boring. And I'm like, okay, well, I mean, if, well, I mean, especially because it's Tana's audience. So it's like if you're used to that and they love her and, of course, she's so entertaining. She's the most entertaining person in the world. So I'm like, of course, I'm going to look boring. How do you deal with that?

How do you deal with the comparisons? I see that sometimes in the comments too, like the comparisons of you two. Just in that regard, because you guys are just so opposite. There's not really a way to compare you because she's so wild and out there yeah but she's so fun and she's such a good like funny like storyteller and stuff so i am like i'm jealous of her in that sense but like i don't mind being compared because it's like yeah we are so different yeah yeah so those kind of comments you can like brush off a little easier than like a pick me comment yeah what's the one well maybe we should talk about it. Cause then they'll like do it.

But is there one, like for me, it's my weight. If they like, that'll hurt me forever. Even if I know I'm bad, it just hurt me forever. Is there one? Just like annoying. I hate being called annoying. Really? Cause I, because I feel annoying.

So like when someone's like, she's so annoying. I'm like, you are right. Wow. I mean, to me, annoying is just like what everyone gets called. Everyone, I get called annoying. Everyone gets called annoying. Yeah. But it's always like a bigger issue.

It's like, she's so like, all she does is talk over Tana. All she does, like, she makes everything about her, like those kinds of things. And I'm like, I feel like that. Yeah, that is like something. I get it why it would affect you, but honestly, that's something so silly. And I have anything. I feel like you're like literally the best listener, which is probably why you're the best co-host, best guest, because you're just so good at like listening to people.

Thank you. I do struggle with it a little bit sometimes because I interject. I feel like I'll lose my thought if I don't say it right then. You know what I mean? So a lot of times I'll like talk over people. I've probably done it 50 times today. I do too. Well, we're very like the same energy in that way because I'm the same way. And I have, this has helped me so much learn to like listen because I will want to like talk, talk, talk. Cause yeah, because you're saying something and I'm like, I have another question about that you know yeah I don't want to lose it either I also like I struggle with this in actual like regular conversations and on the

podcast but it's like I really do if somebody's telling me something I always want to relate it to myself because I want them to know that I like understand them but it comes off as like you're making everything about you I always struggle with that too because this is a comment I get too when I used to go on the reddit too it's like if someone this is so weird like if someone died or something a celebrity and I'm like oh I remember like a Betty White and I was like on a tv show with Betty White so I post it she has to make everything about her I'm like but that's kind of like a thing people do when someone dies it's like you know I remember this or whatever so I think I I think I don't get why it's bad but I started correcting myself too because I used to always do that to him.

Like, me too. That happened to me. And I guess I get why it's bad, but not really. If someone could relate to me, I'd want to hear why they relate. Yeah, I do want to understand, like, especially when you're going through something bad, I want, like, somebody to feel like somebody knows, like, what happened. But I guess there's a better way to do it than me just being like, well, one time I had this happen. Yeah, I used to do the same thing too. I have to really watch myself because I'm very much that person too. Because it is a way to relate, but yeah. I feel like we're getting better

probably. I feel like the more I podcast, I can watch it back and be like, that was wrong. You should not have said that. Yeah. Do you watch yourself back? Sometimes, yeah. Well, I watch them back because we do a lot of cuts from our podcast. I can't watch anything. Well, again, I have Moses watch it. I can't watch anything. Really? Oh my God. He'll put it on in the car sometime to monitor comments, and I'm

just like, turn it off, turn it off. I hate hearing myself so much. I don't know what it is. I'm like, I have you playing all day long. I'm like, Murphy loves it. Murphy's watching you right now. Oh my God. Wait, is Murphy by himself? Is it her or him? Her.

Herself? She's by herself? Can cats watch themselves? I don't even know. Oh yeah. You can leave cats alone for days. I won't because I just feel bad for her. For days?

How do they eat? Well, you can do like automatic feeders or just like leave enough food. She's like, she's pretty good about her regulation. She can, she's not an overeater. I was going to say, why don't they just eat all the food that you leave out in one sitting? Some definitely will. Some breeds, you can't do that. I had a dog die from obesity because my grandma had

dementia and she would just feed it over and over and over again. Oh no. He died of obesity? Yeah. She was so cute. She would make pancakes for him. Or for her. She was a girl. Can dogs eat pancakes? No. Oh no. Or like a bowl of cereal. Oh no. That's so sad. Oh my God. It was cute. Did your cat just like, are you a person

that's like thinks of your cat, like your child? Is it like. I got her like when I was really going through it. So I like, I was like, I need literally a reason to get out of bed and like, like take care of something, like have someone be dependent on me. So after the breakup, you got her. Oh yeah. Wow. And so now like,

I'm so like, I would die if something happened to her. Oh no. That's always scary though too, when people get too attached to their animals. Oh, what you were saying early, like when,

cause I'll like cry over my, like the thought of my friends dying, the thought of even 15 years from now, 20 years from now, her dying. I'm like, I will literally, like, I don't know what I will do. Oh my gosh. Do you like cuddle her? Yeah. She's so, she's like the sweetie or sweetest.

Like she's the best personality. I went online and you can read all their personalities on Petfinder, like when you adopt them. And I'm obsessed with Dolly Parton. Love her. And her description said like if she were a And I'm obsessed with Dolly Parton. Love her. And her description said if she were a celebrity, she would be Dolly Parton. Oh my gosh. So I picked her up the next day. That's great.

Oh, so you looked before you got her. You're like, okay. How did you find Dolly? I always am curious when young people... Me too, I'm young to like Dolly. Discover Dolly. I'm a big documentary watcher. So I found her...

I watched her documentary so long ago and I became just so obsessed with her which one I haven't seen there's one I think it's on I want to say it's on Netflix okay a couple years ago it came out I kind of remember I never watch documentaries ever really I think I'm like I don't know I get bored oh I love I'm such a documentary watcher I watch everything but I like I'm like see that's a pick me thing to say no it's not it's a very see that was a pick me that was a pick me thing to say no it's not it's a very common thing see that was a pick me that was a pick me comment oh my god no you're too in your head about it honestly I feel like I'm the pick me in this because I'm just like

I don't get documentaries like I don't like true crime like I'm definitely the person that does like cool things no but um I'm obsessed with her and also I feel like everybody became obsessed with her like or there was like a resurgence of like Dolly fans because of Miley cause she's Miley's god mother and she was like on hannah montana when i was a kid oh my god really why did i not know this

i didn't really watch it i think again i'm too old for it did you well did you know she was her god no i know they perform a lot i didn't know they were god oh my god no they're like that's her godmother and she's like oh my god do you like follow dolly at all oh i love dolly i didn't know that was her yeah i follow everything she does i does. I'm obsessed with her. I have a big old Dolly in my house. When were you born? 96. Oh, okay. So yeah. Okay. Oh, so we're exactly 10 years. Oh no, I was born in 88. I'm so bad with math. I'm not. So am I. I didn't go to college. So am I. I dropped out. No, I literally took a one take biostats. I have no idea what that is. I took half a semester in college, and I never took one math class in high school, so they did like an algebra.

You didn't have to take math? I don't know. I graduated, so. Well, apparently not. It was the most bizarre thing. I just took a lot of gym classes. I was in like three gym classes my senior year. What?

I want to go to Illinois. Wait, no, I don't want to take any gym class. I don't want to take anybody's gym class. You know what? I wasn't a gym class person. I was always the slow one. I always just walked, but I was in all of them. I've never run the mile in's gym class. You know what? I wasn't a gym class person. I was always the slow one. I always just walked, but I was in all of them. I've never run the mile in my entire life.

I cannot run. Did you have to do it? Did you just have presidential fitness tests? I think we had something called the pacer test where you had to- You had to do sit-ups and sit and reach and pull-ups. I'm like, why do they do that to people? I don't know. What's the point?

We did one where you had to sit and reach and pull-up, and I'm just like, I don't know. And I failed. And it's designed to embarrass people. Exactly. Did you What's the point? We did one where you had to sit in a reach and pull up, and I'm just like, I don't know. And I failed. It's designed to embarrass people. Exactly. Did you never run the mile? Not even once. Again, faking injuries left and right. Oh, smart.

How did you do it? You were just like, I'm sick? I would have notes. I would pretend my ankle was broken. Oh. I had my mom forge notes and stuff like that. Did your mom let you stay home from school if you didn't want to go? My grandma was so like, so lenient.

She like let me do whatever I wanted. Yeah. I'm like, miss her. Oh. I mean, that's, yeah. It's good that you had them though growing up. Because I always think like, you told me, when you're telling me about your parents that were like addicts, are they okay now?

Are your parents in recovery? Yeah. My mom, yeah. I'm not sure. Like, we don't talk about, like, the drug aspect of it all. I'm really close with my mom and dad now. Okay. That's good.

But I was, I, like, it was, like, an adult thing. Like, I became close with them as an adult, which was kind of cool. Yeah. It's like a friendship. They had to, like, mature out of it or something. I mean, it's good that they did. You know, some people, you know, they lose their parents to addiction and stuff, so it's good that they...

Yeah. I just had no, like, I was resentful for a long time, like, it's good that they did. You know, some people, you know, they lose their parents to addiction and stuff. So it's good that they, yeah, I just had no, like, I was resentful for a long time. I'm like, cause I'm mad at them. I'm like, what the fuck? Like get it together. Of course. Like you kind of missed out. Yeah. But then the more like mentally ill I got, I like understood that situation better. And I was like, my mom obviously did not want to be a drug addict. Nobody wants to be a drug addict, and she suffered more from it than I did. It's a sickness. Do you find yourself ever attracted? Have you ever dated someone that was into drugs or anything like that?

Mm-mm. Oh, that's good. So there's no pattern. For some reason, I was always attracted to people that were into drugs. I think because I was like, I don't know the psychology behind it, but I just always wanted to be. And I myself didn't consider myself addicted. I just wanted to do drugs with people who did it.

I don't know what it was. And it was scary for me. I never enjoyed it. I think real addicts, and I myself didn't consider myself addicted. I just wanted to do drugs with people who did it. I don't know what it was. And it was scary for me. I never enjoyed it. I think real addicts, they need it. It's like this fix. For me, I was always scared. I'm like, I'm probably going to die, but I want to do it. That's how I, I've tried a lot of drugs, and it's like, first of all, why?

What are you going to do? Try it once and not like, yeah. I really just don't enjoy it. Yeah, it's a scary thing. I don't think it, besides Xanax, cause that's like such a calming, I guess, but the stuff that you have to like shoot up and stuff that can be like so scary. I guess I've never shot anything up, but that isn't, I wonder why that is that you're attracted to people like that. I don't know. That's why I wondered if you were, I'm like, maybe it's a borderline thing, but I guess not.

I'm definitely attracted to like people who mentally unstable or just horrible. Like a lot of narcissism, whatever that is. Yeah, man. I think Theo Vaughn could be a good one, though. He seems stable enough. He keeps a job or whatever. Yeah, I don't think he likes me. Wait, what? He hung out with you guys in Edgerton.

I don't know. That's borderline in New York. He probably doesn't like me even though we hung out. He let us go to the show. I don't know. I'm trying to stay away from any talent these days. Yeah, honestly, because he's so popular right now, too. And, like, you know, there's probably so many girls that like him.

And it's not, I don't know. I always get like that with celebrities, too. It's like, there's so much temptation. Look at, like, was it Chris Talia? It's like, that's someone I would never think that would have been a womanizer player. Really? Yeah. I would, he gives me immediate, womanizer he's just so like he looks

like a little scarecrow or something I just want to think that's the one girls go for I feel like a lot of those like touring comedians and stuff like touring artists in general like I feel like there is just so much temptation but now now that I'm touring I'm like when do you find the time that's always shocking to me too it's always like and also like aren't you scared now being exposed like everyone's just to everyone's videoing everything. I'm like, it's kind of crazy. I guess now they kind of know better. Yeah.

And girls are just going on podcasts, telling stories. Well, but that's a good thing. Like you said, you're like, you know what? If just, if you don't do shitty things and then I don't talk about you, you know, don't date me if you don't want to be online or whatever like that. I had to let that go. Cause like a lot of people are scared about it, but I'm like, what am I going to do? Not talk about my life online.

That's my whole job. You'll find someone. Ultimately, you have to. I mean, they just have to be okay with it no matter what because especially if you're open

about stuff, you know, because he was, Moses was super private when I met but, you know, I just talk about people I'm with,

you know, it's just what you have to deal with. It's part of the package unless you're off. Do you ever see yourself going off social media or going off the grid?

I don't think so. I don't know. I don't have like a very, like I feel like a lot of people have like ever see yourself going off social media or going off the grid? I don't think so. I don't know. I don't have like a very top, like I feel like a lot of people have like a really toxic relationship with social media. I'm not like, I like it. Yeah. I think it's fun. I love it too.

I couldn't see anything else. I do too. I think it's enjoyment, TikTok, all that stuff. Do you see yourself, like where's your dream job? Like what would be your dream? Is it now? Is it podcasting or? I love what we're doing right now.

I feel like we're trying, like we're doing so many comedy clubs that Tana and I are kind of trying to turn the show, like not turn the show into like a comedy set, but it's like we're focusing a lot more on like actually planning the show the same way a comedian would, where it's like we're doing crowd work and stuff like that. So I think that's, if we could like do that on a larger scale, that would be my dream job. Are you guys going to take like? Or how are you going to? I don't know.

We're naturally funny. I don't know. I don't know what we're going to do. It's very difficult. I mean, I don't know. Because I think I've tried everything. I've tried stand-up. And it's hard to do a formatted show.

You almost need a creative director or go to improv classes or something. Because it's just so different. It's unique because it really is just a conversation. And we have the same conversation five nights in a row. And each time we're making different little jokes here and there. So we see which ones get the laugh. So it is like comedy, but it's not. So you have the same stories each show?

Yeah, roughly. We'll toss in a new one. And sometimes someone will say something in the audience that makes us go on a whole different tangent. Oh, interesting. So that is a setup then. I setup then. I was like, just, I went up there and like winged it and like whatever happened that night or whatever. I used to think that's what comedians did. I thought, I thought comedians just got up there and they just thought of funny things. But then I'm, I started dating some comedians and I was like, I can't see this show one more time. Oh, were you going to all the shows too? Oh my gosh. I loved it. I loved it.

But the same joke, like musicians at least it's like, okay, a song is always going to all the shows too. Oh my gosh. I loved it. I loved it. But the same joke, like musicians at least, it's like, okay, a song is always going to be enjoyable to listen to. The same joke 50 times, I'm like... Nothing hits like playoff hockey.

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with Same Game Parlay Plus. What's better than playoff hockey? Overtime playoff hockey. Get more from the game with live overtime markets. When I found out my friend got a great deal on a designer dress from winners, I started wondering is every fabulous item I see from winners, like that woman over there with the Italian leather handbag. Is that from winners? Ooh, or that beautiful silk skirt. Did she pay full price or those suede sneakers or that luggage or that trench, those jeans, that jacket, those heels. Is anyone paying full price for anything? Stop wondering, start winning. Winners find fabulous for less. It's always a lot. Stand-up comedians just give me kind of cringe now. I mean, not in a bad way. I just,

I don't know. I think because I was so obsessed with them for so long, I would hang out at the Laugh Factory. I was like someone's assistant, like a comedian's assistant at the Laugh Factory. So I'd go there every single night. I was like 18. It was like crazy. And I'd go there every single night and just watch comedians. I don't know why. I don't know why I was such a groupie. Like they're not like necessarily that attractive. I guess because they were funny. But I love a funny guy. I don't care how ugly you are if you are funny.

And most of them are traditionally not attractive. I think like Dane Cook back in the day was like the exception. Yeah. It's a lot harder honestly for like to succeed in comedy if you're attractive i feel like i would see well i don't know what the um matt right if he always talks about that i think this thing went viral he does i feel i honestly feel bad for matt right because every time he every time he says anything people just fucking go insane and like it's like

the message is always like good and he means well but like just like everyone's always gonna give you a hard time if you're like good looking like that and complaining about anything. There was like a men's fitness where he's like people just don't want to laugh at a good looking people. He's like no one wants to laugh at a guy with phenomenal arms. And people are like, I don't think that's why they're not laughing. And he was dead fucking serious. I know. I know. He's a he honestly he's a really good guy.

He just made the Forbes list made like twenty five million dollars last year I'm like, he's doing just fine. That's crazy. He was just all over my FYP page. Like, Oh, like you just, you had to like, like him. And I did, but then you too, I was like a super fan. Yeah. Yeah. How did you become friends with them? Cause you guys like were friends, you sat on the canceled and stuff like that. How did you, um, I, I just honestly DM Tim and then he was he was he and he was my neighbor he lived directly next door to me oh my god what a small world that's great so you just do you dm people like when you want to date you dm people yeah i love it i dm'd theobon i was like hello i mean is that how he knew you guys like how you got to go to the show and stuff wow okay can i tell you i think i've

dm'd theobon back in the day like three years ago he left me on red never saw it i've never got luck with dms i mean either well it's like it never goes anywhere well it sounds like it goes to I think I've DM'd Theo Vaughn back in the day, like three years ago. He left me unread, never saw it. I never got luck with DMs. Me neither. Well, it's like, it never goes anywhere. Well, it sounds like it goes to places for you. You get invited to shows and stuff like that. But that was the end of it. I'm like, short-lived love story with Theo Vaughn.

I'm like, Mrs. Vaughn over here. Do you really like, do you think he's cute? I think he is so, I just love a funny guy. And he's so funny. I can't think of one person in the world who's funnier than him. Yeah, I just love a funny guy. And he's so funny. I can't think of one person in the world who's funnier than him. Yeah, he's very just like different too. He's different than everyone else. But again, we need to go away from entertaining people.

Maybe like a, you said something on a podcast that you wanted like a business, like finance guy or something. I know, but then it's like, I think I'm lying. Would you be bored? Yeah. Oh, I don't know. I don't know. You know what?

I've never tried it. Yeah, because I was bored. I used to date so many people like that. And I was like, God, so boring. Moses was the first person know. I don't know. You know what? I've never tried it. Yeah, because I was bored. I used to date so many people like that, and I was like, God, it's so boring. Moses was the first person that had, like, a real job. And I was like, and at the beginning, I was like, wow, this is, like, boring, you know, and I tell him this, whatever, you know, the quarantine. Because, you know, but because of quarantine, you know, I was just like, let me give it a shot, whatever.

And it's just like they do become, like, you just learn more about them. It's, like, not the, like, quick pizzazz, like, fun or something like that. Yeah, I feel like that's what i'm attracted to is like the immediate excitement and that's not even that's not sustainable like yeah at a certain point it's like you get over that and they suck they suck yeah you find the excitement i find the excitement in oh this person wants to know about me this person wants to see me this person you know does think like you know then you find the excitement that kind of stuff like and then i'm like oh this person's actually excited so things i used to like laugh at him for like back you know

he was really into water and philosophy i was like oh my god so boring this is now because i'm like so in love i'm just like oh my god actually this is really insightful yeah i feel like when you really care about someone and you love somebody all of a sudden all the things that they're interested in like you're interested in yeah so even the finance guy i think you could find something you know if he really treats you so well like then you start getting excited about his stuff yeah i honestly i just haven't dated a lot like i literally have had one serious relationship Even the finance guy, I think you could find something, you know, if he really treats you so well, like then you start getting excited about his stuff. Yeah. I honestly, I just haven't dated a lot.

Like I literally have had one serious relationship and we know how that ended. Yeah. Well, you're still so young. I need to start dabbling a little bit in like some different career paths. Maybe no more, no more singers, no more comedians, no more. Except Theo Vaughn. We'll just put that out, I guess, if that's going to happen. Except for Theo.

I'm just kidding. Has he, have you asked him on your podcast? That's like a good way to do it. We did try to, we want him on your podcast? That's like a good way to do it. We did try to, we want him on the podcast so bad. I'm just like, honest to God, I don't think I can sit across from him

and have a conversation. Like he makes me so nervous. Wait, really? Yeah. Have you talked about this before? It's so funny to hear you talk about it. No.

Oh my God. I think that's so cute. I didn't know. Cause like he is so, he is popular, but you guys are too. Like you guys are like, Matt Rife was on your guys' podcast

and he doesn't do like just anyone's. He does like standup comedians and stuff. I know. Yeah. I think you guys have the numbers for it for sure. We're trying, we love having comedians cause I feel like that's the best way. Cause like I said, a lot of people don't like the guest episodes. So it's helpful to have somebody who's just funny and like can add funny commentary and

like the comedians have been amazing. Like we had Whitney Cummings. Yeah. She's so good. I feel like you would love to have Whitney. She was like, she's amazing. Yeah. I, I love Whitney now. I think I was a Whitney hater back in the day and I, we have a whole thing. Honestly, it's a one-sided thing. I was like a hater on her for some reason. And I, I've talked about this on so many podcasts that I've been on. Cause it's like, um, they had asked me to be on long time ago. Oh my God,

like five years, four years ago. And I think I wrote back a really rude email. Cause I thought it was my people. I thought it was my people saying something. And it actually was like her assistant or something. It was like, I was so rude. This is like 2019. This is like the dark years. And when I say 2019 is my dark year, I was in three mental hospitals. I was like with so many drug addicts who are like, I was out of my mind. And so I wrote back like the rudest email. It was like so weird. And so, um, I'm so glad she's like successful now, but I was a hater. I don't she did this show you know what the best thing about you is is that you acknowledge that you're a hater and you can like that's the thing I'll say it too some sometimes I'll just be

a cunt for no reason yeah it's and it whether it's like jealousy or whatever I'm going through that day I'm like you're you're gonna be a victim like yeah it's but I was really bad I just was so miserable in my life I had no friends I had no love well that's how it works especially like I've had years like I've had years of my life where I'm so insecure that I am just horrible yeah like I'm just mean I'm like I used to be so terrible to my like family even like oh me too my sister I would yell at her and my mom I would be raider like yeah my poor grandma I was literally like up. No, that's not too bad. No, I know, but she's my sweet little grandma. Right, right. It's like, oh, man.

Yeah, I feel like with that kind of stuff, it's just. But that's why I understand haters so well, and they get so mad when I say this. Because when I see haters and stuff like that, it's so clear that they're either jealous. Because most of mine keep from jealousy, or because I didn't have a relationship. Or Whitney, for instance. My weird hate with her was that she had her own show I think it was called Whitney I think Crystalia was on it it was like on NBC it was like a sitcom and I was so jealous I was because we're like kind of the same age and she got to like do Roseanne produce that and have her own show and I was so

jealous of her so that's why I always say with hate I'm like I know people are jealous when they hate like they're jealous they can't do your job or they can't be friends with Tana or whatever the case is and people hate when I say that but I'm like as a former hater I know that are jealous when they hate. Like, they're jealous they can't do your job or they can't be friends with Tana or whatever the case is. And people hate when I say that. But I'm like, as a former hater, I know that's why they're hating. No, I get it. I'm honestly not even a reformed hater. I'll be a hater, honestly, until the day I die.

But I can't help it. I try not to be. But the Bobby Alltop is the only thing. But again, it comes out of jealousy because I'm like, I should be interviewing Offset. Not that I should be. Specifically, Offset was so funny. Yeah, that one was wild. Imagining you with Offset is so, I would love nothing more than to see that. I don't think I

could interview her. I would have loved to interview Maluma. I was definitely jealous. Like, I really love Maluma. And I was like, damn. And she's like, frame. You will. I like, honestly, first of all, Just Trish is so, like, I feel like your views are crazy. Oh, I'm thankful. Like, it's a pendulum. I saw one, like, that was literally up for, like, four days, and it was at, like, 1.3 million. Oh, my God. And, like, it was at like 1.3 million like it was like something but again the guests are always great like I know like and it's great like I'm honored people want to come up like Tana like you I mean I'm telling you Terry Joe like it's cool when people want to come on because you think nobody will and Terry Joe episode was so Terry Joe's so good oh my god he's he's crazy I love him he's so nice and

it's cool like because he's so big and so when people want to come on my show or like you it's like really neat you are so big like you are literally like so fucking famous no to me I literally the whole way here I was like talking myself down I'm like it's okay like I'm scared that's crazy because your energy is so big when you like come into like the room like you're so you came by yourself which I think is great I come by myself everywhere and that takes so much confidence to go alone. You know what I mean? Honestly, I do so many things. I love doing things by myself, which is like, I don't know.

I prefer to do everything by myself. You were the most punctual. You came at 10.59, because we can see when someone comes into our gate at 10.59. And I love that, because so many people are like, I expect people to be late. I'm just like, we're going to probably be here for an hour. And you were right on time. I hate be late. I'm just like, we're going to probably be here for an hour. And you were right on time. I hate being late. I'm like so, I get so anxious about it.

And like, oh, that's me and Tana's like number one fight that we have is like her making me late and me like wanting to die. How is traveling with her? Do you guys travel together? We do. And that's been like. Is she like one of those people who's like last minute gets on the plane? Yeah. But also like for the shows, especially like we've had a lot of like fighting that happens because it's like our call time's like six o'clock and she's still asleep. Oh, that's the worst. Yeah. If you're so punctual and then someone's just not,

you know, I honestly, that would be hard in friendship or relationship is the hardest. It's hard because it's like, I like, she can't, I can't control that. I'm so emotional, but like, it's not her fault that I'm so emotional so she shouldn't have to suffer because I'm like having a panic right that's just the way she like functions and stuff like that so yeah and so you know what that's her flaw my flaw is being too emotional and we just have to work it out you figure it out so now we have a system where I just go without her oh I used to do that all the time I just leave people I'm like I'm leaving right now I have to because otherwise like if I'm not just there like I'm anxious and then yes everyone suffers do that all the time. I would just leave people. I'm like, I'm leaving right now. I have to because otherwise, like if I'm not just there, like I'm anxious and then everyone suffers.

But that's the way to go. That's definitely the way to be. I can't really do that now because I have a daughter. But it's like I used to be like, I'm leaving. Bye, everybody. But I'm like, okay. And now I'm later because I have a kid. Now I'm just like, I'm late everywhere.

Yeah, but that's a good excuse to have. And it's so real too because it's like when you're leaving, there's just so much stuff that happens. I hate, but we are late to a lot of things now and it's just so frustrating but you're the best mom ever I literally love to see everything everything Malibu Barbie oh my gosh it's so much fun I love being a mom do you see yourself having kids one day I god I hope so I would love to have kids you're not like worried or scared just seeing like your own mental illness your mom's mental illness were you ever scared I am a little bit, but I don't know. I just want a kid so bad.

Yeah. I think you'll be the best mom because of it. You know what? I think that that's true always. I told Tana this, too. I think that the people who, like, grew up in the more, like, turbulent households end up being better parents because you want to show up for your kid. Yeah. Not to say my parents were bad, but, like, they were clearly going through going through it obviously I mean they I mean they had their own addictions and stuff

and Tiana too I always said that about her because she'll be a good mom because of growing up with that kind of like household and stuff like that because I was always nervous about that too but it's just like you almost have more empathy like I can understand like when I was a kid I was told like stop crying you're fake crying stop it like but now it's like now you can like ask questions like oh why are you crying you know which is like, now you can like ask questions like, oh, why are you crying? You know, which is like. I also have such like polar like experiences, like my experience with my parents. Cause I had that, you know, the first 10 years and then my grandparents, the next 10 years, my grandparents were so like.

You see both sides. Like very just sweet understanding, like versus just the exact opposite. So I got like both sides and I know you can see it all yeah you'd be like such a good mom god I hope so I want to have kids like soon but we'll start with like honestly a boyfriend yeah no I was that way too I always wanted to be a young mom when I was like 25 I was like I'm getting too old to have kids like I don't but I just don't I don't know I'm not jealous I have so many so many of my like high school friends and stuff are on their like third kid. That's great. I mean, that's normal, I guess, but we're in LA. So I feel like we're on a different timeline. Like everybody else is like, you have such a career

like trajectory now, like to stop it would be like hard. Unless you met like the love of your life and they wanted kids like right now or something like that, then I think it would happen. Maybe it's a ways away. Maybe I'll have one next year. You never know. Stuff like that happens so quickly. You see someone and you're just like, oh my God. Or Whitney, I think she's- You guys got married really quickly, right? Yeah. We were engaged after like five months of dating.

See, I love that. I love that you just knew right away. I just saw you say like you said I love you after like three days or something. Oh, I'm sure that I love you the first night. I so get that. I really do understand that because it's like I just, like I know. I mean, I don't have that much experience with it, but. No, but when you know, you know, and it's like, I don't know, like, it doesn't scare

off the right person because I think within a weekend, I was like, I want to get married and I would like break up with him if he didn't want to have kids with me right away. Like, it was very much that thing. But I think if it was the right person to like understand and get it. Better for them to just know so you can weed them out because if they're not comfortable with it, it's like, see you later. Oh yeah. I think I saw, I was watching one of your interviews and you're like, see you later. Oh, yeah. I think I saw.

I was watching one of your interviews and you're like, you tell people up front now what you want in a relationship. Like you tell guys. Well, I have to. Like I was kind of telling you about a little relationship that I had. Like I wanted to stay with that person so bad, but I needed them to be more like active in my life. And I had to say it because I'm like, if I go through another breakup, I will die. So what did you tell him up front that scared them away?

I just, I literally just was like, if you can't communicate, like be a better communicator, like, and focus more on the relationship. It can't happen. And he was like,

okay, perfect. It can't happen. That's not unreasonable. No, it just, I don't know. I have to be more upfront about stuff like that

because it's like if I ignore things like that and then I end up having to go through another breakup I'm like I can't I don't take a breakup well and I know that about myself well the reality is you'll probably go through another breakup yeah well of course of course I will but if I know if I know before I'm even really serious with the guy that it's gonna be a breakup it's like why am I gonna put myself through that right but I feel like in some way you should let your guard down because I know you said you're kind of guarded now, but it's like, you might just scare someone off because you're too guarded, you know? And it's like, don't make them pay for this, you know, the one that lied.

I know. It won't call crazy because he might actually have some issues, but he's crazy. I'm lying. Yeah. I mean, he definitely needs help if he's like lying about that kind of stuff, but you know, don't make the next person pay for his. I know. I know.

Because you sound like you date some nice guys that are, like, you know, good and nice. I haven't. I've dated some nice guys since, like, just casually. But what happens with those? I don't know. Too busy. I don't know. Too young, one of them.

I'm like. Oh, for. You were too young for them. No, I dated one guy who was, like, 22. And I was like, that's not going to work. You know what's so interesting is I never hear girls date that way usually. And it's not that big of a difference, 26 and 22, but it's like interesting. It is though.

It's such a big difference. Do you feel it more? Because they say women mature faster than men. Do you feel it more? Yeah. And it was just so clear. And I was like, that's like unsustainable. Who's a social media person that's 22?

I'm trying to relate it. Is like Bryce Hall 22 or is he older? I don't know. I think he's a little older. Who's like a 22? Alex Warren, is he 22? I don't know. I'm just trying to it. Is Bryce Hall 22 or is he older? I don't know. I think he's a little older. Who's a 22? Alex Warren, is he 22? I don't know. I'm just trying to think of guys.

I think he's older too. I don't know. Honestly, I don't know. I don't know. He's young. I need someone like 30-something. I think that's a good age. Yeah, I think that's good.

I don't know. You're such a young spirit. I don't know. Well, I'm also an immature dater kind of because I really haven't. Well, I'm also like, like an immature dater kind of, cause I'm like, I really haven't dated much. So I feel like it helps me to date people my age or like around it. Yeah. So they can, for me, I didn't date much either. I didn't date much until I was like, I never lived with a guy literally until Moses, but I am, I think it's okay. I feel like that kind of stuff. They just have to like warm up to, you know what I mean? Otherwise you don't

want to live with just like random people or date random guys. Yeah. you don't know where they're from do you know now where he's from did you ever figure it out yeah okay did you research it or did you tell you oh I found his mom's Facebook did you reach out yeah she didn't answer what did you say I said so many things I wasn't there I literally was not there oh my I was not body. But see, I feel like that's even disassociating. Even though you know, I feel like it's a little disassociating. Yeah, maybe. That's the thing. But it's like there is literally two people inside of me and one of them is like, do not

do that. And one of them is like, fuck you. Yeah, yeah. You're just going to do it. Oh man. I've never reached out to them. I had to. No, I don't think.

I had to know. I needed to know what was up. I needed to know why are up i needed to why are you dead oh my god she never did you block you or anything or she just no she didn't block me maybe she didn't see it yet oh my god i like messaged her after this that would be so funny no poor guy he like can't catch a break i've been talking about him for a year straight like i was like that too i talked about my relationship because you know it affects you so much and it is and you know i do get comments where people are like her whole personality is that

breakup but I'm like oh I always think of that. No it weighs on you. It's a big story and it's not just a private one. He's also a public person that made it public. It's a very public thing. Yeah and it just affected me so much. Of course. No I think you can I think you have the right to talk about it forever. You know if you want you know people there's people deal with trauma in different ways and yeah I like, bless his heart. I'm like, stream his new songs. Seriously. Yeah.

Did you listen to it? Did you like it? Yeah, it's great. I actually heard it because we did get, like, we were, like, talking again for a little while. Like, just on, like, a friendly, like, I was worried about him. Oh, my God. Don't worry about him. You don't hook up or anything, though?

Oh, no. I haven't seen him since I, like, put his stuff outside and I never saw him again. Does he know your new place now like where you live and stuff okay that's good clean start fresh energy do you when you date do you have people come to your house or do you go there yeah well or do you go to houses he didn't live here so he moved into that apartment my last apartment with me oh like we we built all our furniture and like we would go back like he lived in Vegas so we would like oh that's kind of cute, the little Vegas thing.

How about now when you casually date guys? Do you let them come over to your apartment? Yes. Like right away or it takes how many days, dates? Like one. I know. Every person I've ever been with is first date always. When people say they don't, I'm like, wow.

Yeah, I know. I just went on a date like a couple weeks ago and it was just first time I'm like yeah you could come over but you have a bougie apartment I know I always had fancy apartments I come look at my place you know honestly yeah that's that was kind of my mindset I was like now I have this nice apartment I'm like someone has to come over oh it's so nice and like the lights and all the stuff you see from your balcony is so pretty like I love it so much and I'm just so much happier there my last apartment had like a building right next, like it was vaulted ceilings, but it was directly next to a building.

There was no light. It was a dungeon all day long and I was already depressed. So I was like. That's the worst. I was at the Palazzo during my depression era and it was the same. It was by the Grove and it was a penthouse, but it was like looking like literally into like, I don't know what was there, like a Ross or something like that. It was like so dark and there was like, everything was shaded. I did not realize how much light affects like your mental health until I don't know what was there, like a Ross or something like that. It was so dark, and everything was shaded.

I did not realize how much light affects your mental health until I didn't have it. It's such a big thing. Natural daylight, it changes your life if you have it in your house. And having it again now. I sleep with my windows open, wake up at 6 a.m. with the sun, and me and Murph just have our little break day. Oh, I love it. We do that, too. We have a huge window, like a giant window, and we don't have curtains on it.

And people are like, you just sleep like that? I'm like, yeah, because love to like wake up to the bright light too and I'm such an early riser right now I'm like going to bed at like nine and waking up at like wow I'm the same way I think I went to bed last night like 6 30 p.m I was very I like to be up at like 4 30 yeah I love that that's the mom mom energy oh for sure for sure I'm like 6 30 we're in bed I think I fell asleep before my daughter the other night I was just like I'm so tired oh my is she a good sleeper? Yeah she sleeps through the night. She's really good. She goes down at like 7.30 so if I fall asleep at 6.30 it's a little before but yeah.

I'm so jealous. Yeah it's so nice because I'm like oh we can go to bed at the same time. It's a cute thing. Are you a cooker? Do you cook? I'm starting now. My last kitchen was like I just didn't want to cook in it so now I'm like not allowing myself. I used to postmate three meals a day. Oh my god. Like for a year straight, I postmated three meals a day. And that's first of all, financially so stupid. So expensive. It's so expensive. Like the dash, like the driver, the tip, everything is like so expensive.

And so I've been cooking now. I'm like dipping my feet in. I'm not very good at it. What do you cook? Right now I'm only on breakfast. Okay. I'm working, I'm working my way down. You have to start somewhere.

So it's like bacon, eggs, bagel. Oh, yum. But next is lunch. I'm like, I'll keep you posted. What are you going to cook? A sandwich. Like a peanut butter sandwich. I'll have like my manager come over and she like, she really cooks. So I'll like just watch her and be like, one day I'm going to be able to like slice a tomato. Yeah. I never could cook either. And I was like 33 when I started cooking. I was like, you're into it now though. I see, I see your like recipes. I think you did like a, Oh God, what was it? Everything you eat looks so good. I just do mostly pastas. I love a pasta. That's something I can probably touch on soon because that's like, it's like an intermediate food. Yeah. Right. There's some like easy pastas and there's some complicated like sauces and stuff like that and there's some complicated sauces and stuff like that,

but I love it. I mean, honestly, people always say it's better to cook at home, and then you don't gain as much weight, but I'm bad with portions. I cook such big portions, and then I eat all of them. So that's why, especially when I did lose the weight, I was like, I've got to keep it off. And if I have food in my apartment, I will eat it. Same.

So for a long time, I didn't want to buy groceries, because I was like, I can't. If it's there, it will eat it. Same. So for a long time, I couldn't buy, I didn't want to buy groceries because it was like, I can't. If it's there, it's getting eaten. Yeah. So we go every day to get just the ingredients we need for our dinner. Oh, that's genius. Because I had to tell them, I was like, I will, and I, you know, like, I'll eat the whole Oreo box, I'll eat the whole potato chip. Me too, I can't, there's no, yeah, there's no, that's, that's a compulsive,

a compulsive situation. Yeah. All or nothing. That's what they do in Europe, though. That's why their little appliances are so small. Cause they like literally just, they can only buy food for one day. Oh, but that's smart. And then yeah, it's fresher. It's fresh. Of course they, they like pick a tomato out of their garden. Oh, where would you live if you weren't living in the United States or California? Um, I, I would love to live in like, well, that's in the United States, but like Montana is like the most beautiful state that's so random it's so beautiful

I don't know I'm really in like the horse green era like I'm so obsessed with that all the TikToks of people in like open fields I'm like wow I haven't seen that I could see that life for you I would love to have horses were you a horse girl growing up like did you ride

no honestly I've never even touched a horse. What is it about it? I'm just like my chest is like I'm obsessed. I actually did. I touched a horse last weekend. Oh, where? On tour? My friend has like the craziest ranch.

Maybe you should date a rancher. You should go. Well, actually, I'm currently like half seeing a man who has horses. Wait, is he here or is he somewhere else? He's here. I love that. Yeah. Where's that going to go?

How's that going? It's probably not going anywhere. He just got out of like a very serious relationship way too recently for me to be comfortable. Yeah. So. Well, he can just have fun, I guess. It's fun. So he has like a ranch with horses?

He just, I don't know. I'm not sure. He has horses. You just saw it it on his Instagram? He talks about them. Oh. But you haven't seen him in prison. Maybe he doesn't have horses.

Like Liz, you live in a ranch with horses. Honestly, does he have horses? Isn't that awful? You have to think about that now with people because of that last relationship. You're like, is this real? Yeah, it really is scary. You don't realize how many people are just lying about things. So many people lie.

But also, that was really, like, a very unique circumstance. Like, nobody thinks the death of their family. Yeah, I've never had something like that happen in my life. Do you, I see that your Instagram bio is your credit score is 813. Is that real? That's real. And that is, I was just listening to you talk about credit and, like, how you accidentally. I have horrible credit.

Mine's, like, 600. I don't I have horrible credit. Mine's like 600. I don't even have a credit card, so that helped. You never did. I do. My grandpa, he's like the sweetest little angel. He has a credit card in my name that he pays for things and pays it off on time, so he built my credit for me. I mean, that's like 850 is perfect, right?

Is that a perfect credit score? I'm not sure. I don't know. Mine's probably a little lower now, but it was was 813 last time I checked and I'm not checking again wow because I saw that on your bio and I remember I used to go on dates and people always ask me my credit score and I was like that's what weird thing no one's ever asked you your credit score no I guess it's in your bio they know oh yeah they already know it because that's so important when I met him and he had a perfect credit score his was like 850 I was just like

I was in love I was like oh my god you have a perfect credit it is so, I just don't understand it. Like I really don't understand credit. I don't understand how it works. I, why do you know? I can give you a whole lesson on it. I didn't understand either. Now I understand it. I'm like, oh shit. Well, it really, it's, it, it's like grades. It's like, it's so easy to fuck up and it's so hard to fix it. Oh my God. It's so hard to fix. Mine was from when I was like 18 and it's like, I'm like, you know, you can like, I had the only like real problem I ever had with my credit was a medical collections from when I was like 16 and did it fall off or did you fix it I have no idea I think my grandpa probably he does all of that he's like he's so sweet oh my god I love your grandpa he really like he is

really the best like he'll text me and be like hey like your new registration's in the mail like I did this for your car. Just out of nowhere, he's the most thoughtful person in the world. Yeah, I feel like you need to have your expectations so high for your husband because he needs to do that energy for you, taking care of your bills. No, he literally, ugh. I feel like I have an unrealistic standard. No, I think that's actually very normal. I think everyone has lowered their standards because guys have been so shitty. But I feel like that's a very normal thing that a lot of people have.

Yeah, it's old-fashioned is what it is. And that's why it's a grandparent. That was normal in their day. Someone's generation messed it up. It must have been our parents' generation or something that messed up the kids. For sure. You know what I mean? The ones that don't want you to show emotions.

The ones that tell you to be a man or whatever. That kind of stuff. Yeah, that's horrible. The toxic masculinity that our world is in right now. It's just so, I don't know. You sound like, you know what? It sounds like you're like really logical. You seem like you, for having a mental illness, you do regulate it good. You do present well. Well, thank you. You don't spiral online. I don't spiral online, but I definitely spiral in person. That's why when you said, I'm like, uh, you said in the beginning that I was like chill. I'm like, if you told Tana that she'd be like, are you fucking kidding? I'm like the least chill person ever. That's so funny. I

always just think your demeanor, like you're just very like, well, I'm like kind of shy. So like, I'm that way too. I feel like in the beginning, like, of course I'm like, yeah. Cause in a group of people, we went out with what, like 12 people and you're just're just like, you're just not quite in a bad way because you talk. But it's just very much like, it doesn't have to be the loudest. And I'm not that way either. I'm very shy. I get very shy around people. I always think if I'm the loudest, people think, oh, she wants attention.

So I'm like, let me not be that way. I've never been that way, though. Yeah, it depends on who I'm around. I feel like if somebody else has a really big personality, I will tone mine down a bit. I feel like there can't be two. Yeah, I feel that way, too. So with my friends who are really calm, I like the one who's a little bit more like, I always want to do like the opposite to balance the energy. Yeah. Same thing with like a guest or

anything. Right. Who's been the, okay, we won't do the most difficult. Who's been your best guest on canceled? Um, you literally you. Really? Yes. We say that every, we say that every show, you know, you don't know how much you are in our show like watch it i do watch it i do watch it no no no in the live show oh really you're like such a major we literally there's been trisha chance at like seven events yesterday i didn't know i didn't know what we're gonna do in la show for sure that's why like honestly we didn't really bring that many people out just because we're still kind of like working out the kinks yeah but so like we have like we play like a little game of like Jenga and it has like crazy questions on it and some of them will say like favorite canceled guests but some of them will say like least favorite person ever who's your

least favorite person ever you mean I love I love Well, that's where it comes from. And then everyone always goes, team Trisha. Oh, my God. What a crazy situation that was. I honestly, like, I feel bad for her because it's one of those things, too, where it's like, maybe this person has something, like, wrong with them. You know what I mean? Yeah, that's the same way I am about, like, my ex. It's like, there has to be something. And I feel bad for anybody who just gets, like, really badly publicly ashamed.

Yeah, but that has to remind myself, like, oh, she was like with kids. I know, but that's where I have the worst guilt complex where I like can justify everything. I'm like, they must be mentally ill. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And that's a really bad way. It's when you don't like get help for it or can't acknowledge it. That's when you're like, okay, this person needs. And that's why I feel like cancellations, I think hers is more than a cancellation for sure.

I don't think hers is just a cancellation. She did some really crappy shit. Not to me. I'm talking about to other people, kids, minors, all that stuff like that. But it's like, at least chose a mirror. Maybe there's something wrong with you. You know what I mean? Maybe there's something you need to fix, you know,

because maybe she just didn't know for so long and stuff like that. Yeah, that's what people kept reminding me. Like, some people really, really need to hit rock bottom, and you have to let them because then they learn, and then they want to change things and stuff. Take accountability and stuff. That's the thing where I'm like, oh. The white chocolate macadamia cream cold brew from Starbucks is made just the way you like it. Handcrafted cold foam topped with toasted cookie crumble. It's a sweet summer twist on iced coffee. Your cold brew is ready at

Starbucks. Why do fintechs like Float choose Visa? As a more trusted, more secure payments network, Visa provides scale expertise and innovative payment solutions. Learn more at visa.ca slash fintech. I don't want them to. I know it's hard. I get the same way. I go back and forth. I'm just like, oh man, I kind of feel bad. But then I'm like, oh no, then you have to remind yourself like, no, you should definitely not feel bad. I mean, it like, oh no, then you have to remind yourself what the situation is. No, you should definitely not feel bad. I mean, it was wild. I don't know. Thank God I made it through. Honestly, again, because I have a baby and a husband, I kind of was able to go through it

quicker, but I think the other people that she was dealing with, it was really, really sad. Yeah, that was wild. I know. My podcast was short-lived with that. That's why I was like, dang, I really wanted to get back into podcasting. No, but it was genuinely, I think, the best thing to happen because I feel like it should just be you like literally just Trish

just Trish I know that's like the only name I could think of I know I just miss I love this that's why I love having guests on because I love the banter that's why I had to have a co-host that's why I love coming to cancel too because it's very it's just very organic it's like a conversation because I don't socialize but I love the episodes that are just you two also like I love

because I don't know I just want to hear your take on anything ever oh my gosh thank you I just I feel like I just like my social hour I don't get out I don't do much so I'm just like this is my time to like see someone it's almost like a hangout but you know so many things like you're so educated you always know everything that's going on everywhere well now I feel more so I think there was a time I like didn't want to like pay attention but now I know everything I'm like oh make this sound revert now I know everything but I think there was a time I like didn't want to like pay attention but now I know everything I'm like oh make this sound revert now I know everything but I used to not know anything I used to not keep up yeah especially social media well such me but just in general I feel like you you're someone well actually do you feel like you

know like a lot about or a little bit about a lot of things or like a lot about a little a little bit a few things a little bit about a lot of things I know like a lot about a lot of things but just a little bit I'm not like but I little bit about a lot of things. I know, like, about a lot of things, but just a little bit. I'm not, like, an expert at anything. But I feel like you're so knowledgeable about, like, things I've never even heard of. Oh, my God. Well, maybe pop culture. I don't think anything else.

I'm actually, people will say, like, oh, shit, ax them. But there's some things I truly don't know that I'm, like, I have no idea. No, but, like, that's why, like, I compare you to Theo Vaughn is, like, you, there's certain things that have happened, like, little bits that have happened, like, the thinnest layer of the earth thing. I'm, like, she's a genius. Oh my God. Well, that's more like quick, but I still don't really know what that means. I don't know climate change. I still can't grasp it. I know, but that had to be a joke and she's a genius. I feel like that's just more like something quick. You know, you think up on the spot. I don't think

it's like, Theo, I think is very like calculated. He's very good with it. Sometimes I get lucky, but it's like, you know, it's that funny where I could never be a standup, but it's like, you know, you think up on the spot. I don't think it's like, Theo, I think is very like calculated. He's very good with it. Sometimes I get lucky, but it's like, you know, it's that funny where I could never be a standup, but it's like, you know, maybe I could be a little quick. No, but it's night. The internet's the best place in the world because it's like, you don't have to like time it out. It's like, you can just, yeah. And it's more comfortable when it's just you by yourself. You can deliver a little bit better.

For sure. For sure. I feel more confident that way. You know, when I'm with like other people that are supposed to be funny, that's why I don't think I've ever had comedians. I had Carrot Top on here, but mostly I don't have comedians. Carrot Top is so funny. He's kind of, he's funny, but he was another one that's funny in person

because he's so funny on stage. I love his show, and in person he's a lot, like, quieter and just. Oh, really? Yeah, but I saw him doing a bunch of podcasts, so I was like, let me reach out. I used to go to his shows all the time when I looked him up. I think we're trying to have comedians because we're trying to be taken a little more seriously because we are doing, like, only comedy clubs, and I feel like comedians are like, the fuck oh do you see oh right so they

see you on the lineup and stuff like that so they're probably like who are these people which is like weird like what are they doing there i think that's a good way to go because also for comedians they're in their own circle and you guys are kind of like more like social media like you're more mainstream social media so it's like good for them to come through too because someone like matt for instance i never watched him on anyone else's, but I watched him on yours, you know, not that he like needs the promo, but or Whitney, for instance, I don't watch her on anyone else's. I watched her on yours. Yeah. I feel like honestly, I didn't even really like, I loved Whitney like growing up, but I haven't seen her on anything in so long.

And having her on was like, so cool. Yeah. She seems like she's doing good. I love her. I love her podcast. Cause her like lights are blown out. It know, and I love how, like, fair and perfect it makes everybody look. Oh, my God, it's, like, blurry. I love it. I'm like, I need those. I know. I watched her Matt episode, and I was like, they are stunning. Oh, my God.

They're literally glowing. I was like, we need more lights. That's what I love. I love this lighting situation. I'm like. I try to get more and more lights. Well, she's, like, she's 40 having a baby, right? Yeah, and she's, like, she's so funny about it.

She's just, like, still dating. Wait, what? Oh, she's 40 having a baby, right? So yeah. And she's like, she's so funny about it. She's just like still dating. Wait, what? Oh, she's not with the father? No, they're like very casually together. I think they're like, they just weren't even really dating at the time. So she said she was dating a woman at the time that she found out she was pregnant. Wow. She talks about that? Yeah. Oh my God. That's very new age. I like that kind of stuff. I think it's cool. Cause I was someone who never could find someone. I was ready to have a baby on my own. I was like, I'm just going to go get IVF or something. I know. I feel like you would have been great like that, too.

But I'm so happy. Your situation, I'm just literally so happy for you. Thank you. I think I would have been a mess if I was doing it on my own. To me, personally. Because now having a baby is like, oh my god, this is a lot more work than I thought. Yeah. I feel for single parents.

But also, I feel like if you have family and stuff to help you, or you can drop them off at the grandparents, but I certainly don't have that, so I'm like, I can't be a single mom. Well, you have a lot of friends and family around you, but yeah, single... Yeah, that's true, but imagine me dropping my baby off at Tana's. Tana's great with actually... She's pretty good with babies.

Someone was saying that Malibu loves her. Loves her. It's actually crazy. She doesn't even want to go to me. She just wants to go to Tana. It's actually amazing to see. She is really great with kids, which I don't know. Not that you wouldn't expect it, but she is so sweet with kids. No, you wouldn't expect it because she's so Vegas and wild and crazy on the internet and stuff.

So you wouldn't expect that. I was like, wow, y'all should be such a good mom. Yeah, I think so too. She holds him very naturally too. When Jeff was here, he held Malibu. He was holding her awkwardly. I can't even imagine Jeff with a baby yeah he's very like how do I hold her but Canada's very natural like grabs the baby and stuff like that so it's it's really

interesting but there there are a lot of work in single parents oh my god that's like a whole other level I'm like how they do it it's like that's amazing that's the most amazing because I could never because my mom's watching her now Moses helps out so much and so it's a lot yeah gosh but you know, when you're like 35, you've done everything. So you're just like, okay, time to have, I'm like, feels right. Maybe I'll be 35 with the baby. Oh my gosh. That'd be so cute. Where do you see yourself at 35 living here? I'm like, I want to be just like you. I feel like, I don't know. I mean, I don't think I'll be living like I won I won't be living where I am, for sure.

I would love to be either over here or maybe if I would go back to Arizona. I don't know where I would go. Somewhere family-oriented, like, where you could have a family. Yeah. This is really great because, like, no one's around here. There's a lot of, like, kiddie stuff around here. It is. It's so beautiful.

You guys, like, I'm driving through. I'm like, wow, I don't even feel like I'm in LA. It's crazy. I feel like that every day in, like, the grocery store. No one's ever there. Our Target is, like, a fairy tale. There's, like, flower arches leading into it in LA. It's crazy. I feel like that every day in like the grocery store, no one's ever there. Our Target is like a fairy tale. There's like flower arches leading into it. I love it.

And you know what? I love anywhere that has a parking lot. Everything's parking. It's so great. That's what I love about Arizona is like you can park anywhere you go. And where I am, it's like. It's the worst. Yeah.

That's like really difficult. And just like finding parking, parking structures are scary. All that stuff like that. Yeah. Well, I feel like if you are me in 10 years, it's like a beautiful thing because you don't worry about your exes you don't like look them up you're mentally stable like honestly it's like it is a crazy thing I know people hate when I say this but it's like almost like being in love like cured my mental illness you know what I mean having stability of course because it's like I mean being in a bad relationship

amplifies it so much but I feel like being in a healthy relationship would help. So much. It's like the best thing that ever happened, and it's nice to just not have to worry about losing myself or spiraling. Or if I am, there's someone there to catch me. Yeah, support you. Which I think it'll be. Moses is very understanding.

He's the best. He's the absolute best. You guys are my favorite couple. Oh, my gosh. Oh, yeah. The night we all went to Buffalo Islands, I'm like, I feel like we're their parents. It's actually so funny. You're literally like eight years older than me.

I know. Oh, eight. Good math. I was literally trying to think of it ever since you said I was like 96. Stop it. 96, 80. I don't know those. Like six and eights, I don't know.

Sevens and like fours, I don't know. I'm really bad at stuff like that. Yeah, we don't need to know. You're so good. We're on social media. You're so good. That's exactly it. I was like, thank God for social media, we don't need to know. You're so good. We're on social media. You're so good. That's exactly it. I'm like, thank God for social media because I don't know what I would be doing.

It'd be so wild. I had so many notes. Let me see. Here's all my book notes right here. I had so many notes. Oh, my God. I know. You're so good at researching.

Like, God, we need to be better about that. Sometimes we have people come in and we're like, so what do you do? Those are my favorite interviews that I love. Not just yours, but other people's podcasts when they literally like donate. Sometimes we don't plan like, like some of the episodes, like we talked about the Matt episode. He came in there and we were like, Hey, like, yeah. Well, cause you knew him. Yeah. So it was like more casual probably. No, I, I think those interviews are kind of fun when not like a not just yours, other people's because it's like not knowing something

about someone is exciting. Cause I feel like I know everything about you. So, you know, hearing stories is fun, but, um, yeah, if you don't know something about someone, it's cool. Oh, it's always funny. My favorite is when someone's like, so tell us what you do, you know, it's like, well, what do you do? You know? Oh my gosh. Would you ever, um, Oh, have you ever broken up with anyone? Well, no. Yes. Yes. But like, I didn't want to, and I should have wanted to. How did you break up? What was the breakup? Because you said you broke up with him. What was it? Just blocking him?

Yeah, so we had gotten back together. And so he was staying at my house. All his stuff was at my house. And then I got another hey, girly DM that was like, hey, he just called me yesterday, asked me to come over literally the day before. And so I just put his things outside and said, don't talk to me. So he was living with you here because he was at a gym. Or he was like, he would stay with me here. Or sometimes he'd get like Airbnbs and stuff, but I would still stay with him. Like we were always together. Yeah. How are you with boundaries? I don't really have

any. Does it real life and everything? You don't set boundaries. I'm not good at setting boundaries at all. Yeah. I need it. I'm trying to get better actually. I. Well, I'm, yeah, I'm getting, I'm definitely getting better. What would be boundaries that you would have, you should have set maybe in that relationship that would have changed the course? I mean, he lied to you, of course, but. I don't know. I like, I apologize for a lot of things in that relationship when I wasn't sorry. Cause it was just, it was one of those where it was like, I was never, ever, ever going

to win a fight. So it was just, I'd throw in the towel cause I was like, I just don't want to deal with it. But I will never apologize when I'm not sorry ever again or if I don't feel like I'm wrong. Yeah. That's important. Because it validates them. And he weaponized the BPD thing so much. He was very much like, well, you're overreacting.

And obviously you do that. That's why. Like, is this one of your episodes right now? Yeah. And it makes me apprehensive to even tell people because it's like they do weaponize it like friends too they'll be like well okay let me know when you're not splitting yeah i'm not splitting yo totally people always use that like well she's unwell and she's this and it's just like no like i'm totally fine in this situation yeah and this like it gives them like an excuse to just like

wildly disrespect you because then they're like well well, she's overreacting. Yeah. Oh, this is their mental illness. Oh, this is an episode. Yeah. It's literally the most frustrating thing. Yeah. So I probably wouldn't have. I would have done so many things differently in that relationship.

I would have like if I could relive it, I just would not have ever been in that relationship. It was horrible all around. All around. There wasn't. There has been some good moments for you to have missed it. I guess the companionship. I just was so attached to him. It wasn't like we all we did was fight. It wasn't like a good relationship. I just was so attached. Oh,

you fought a lot too. All we did was fight. About what? Because you guys were together all the time. I would get in trouble for things. It was just like a very emotionally abusive relationship. I would be at the dinner table, and if someone texted me and I turned my phone over, he would go insane. Like, like how dare, like how dare you text while we're like eating? It's just like, so like things that were just so dumb. That you were just overlooked because you were in love. Or if I wouldn't text him back when I was driving, he'd be like, where are you? Who the fuck are you with? Oh my God. And so what was it about him? Could it have been anybody that you were attached to? Or what was it about him? Could it have been anybody that you were attached to or what was it about him that you were attached to if there was nothing? He was such a love bomber and he was so, I was, he like, I felt like he loved me so much. So I was like, and that was

the first person who I felt like loved me that much. So from the start he was like, I love you. He was so, so in it. And like, you know, flowers every day would send me food, send me like, just so over the top, like wrote me songs, like just like very, he was compensating. But like in my head I was like, he's obsessed with me. Because that's how you are and you're genuinely feel that way about him. So you just thought. Yeah. And like, I really, really thought like, I genuinely thought like there, nobody will ever love me this much. And it just turned out he was like, that was part of his character. wild do you get triggered by things like do you have triggers or do not really like is there something that could trigger you in a relationship or um I feel like

well now lying yeah so that's like a big one so if someone lies now and like you would just cut it off yeah and also just like I hate like yelling and like like any sort of like not violence because he wasn't violent but like yelling and screaming and fighting and stuff I just hate like I hate yelling and any sort of, not violence, because he wasn't violent, but yelling and screaming and fighting and stuff. I just hate that. It's never necessary to me, ever. That would be a hard major trigger. Because my parents were so... Fighting all the time.

Always fighting. Interesting that in that relationship you started fighting, so maybe you felt comfort or something in that. Where it was like, well, they fought all the time. Oh, God. It was like addicted. I was like like he loves me so much like trauma bond you know what I mean like when you have so much like conflict with somebody and then you come back together it's like you feel closer to the person than you actually are like you almost feel like it's passionate what's like well if he if we're fighting that means he loves me like he's

fighting for me always justify it because I'd be like oh my god well he just wants to spend time with me like he just cares about me so much but it's like it's no it's. Like, he's fighting for me. Yeah, well, I'd always justify it because I'd be like, oh my God, well, he just wants to spend time with me. Like, he just cares about me so much. But it's like, no, it's manipulative and it's horrible. The jealousy, I've never had a jealous boyfriend.

No one really liked me, actually. That dated me. But I would always, I would think of that as like a compliment. If someone was like jealous, I would love, like I wish people

would get more jealous. I'm like, why aren't you jealous? Well, I didn't understand at the time, like he would accuse me of things and like he always thought I was cheating and stuff and like that's so common in somebody who's cheating I just never thought that he would cheat on me like it what didn't even cross my mind he was cheating the whole time so actively

but you're together every day how does that happen in my own house he was cheating in my like he would he'd be messaging girls asking for new like he just like in my own house. Oh no. The whole time. I'm like. The whole time. Just literally, like fully. One time I, or way after the relationship, he had flown me out to New York and I like spent a couple days with him in New York and came back. Then I found out he like

literally was with another girl the day before in New York. And she sent it to me. And like all of these girls like had no idea who I was I'm like oh my god did he not post you on socials did you post him or you guys private that way I post he demanded that I post him because he wanted to make sure everyone knew I had a boyfriend how weird because I needed people who would never post me but I could never post I mean like we didn't even take pictures together it was like really yeah that's at least at least you have to

post him well yeah like but it was strange like I, I was always, he would repost everybody. Like, if we went to, like, his album release party and he'd repost Tana, repost everyone but me. Oh, my God. And I thought that was really strange. I was like, what's that about? And, you know, did you ever say anything? Yeah, I did. And he just, he would just be like, well, I don't know.

Like, that's not, you know, what a musician will do. They'll be like, I can't, that's not good for image I'm like oh my god you are not Shawn Mendes nobody gives a fuck if you're single or not that is that's the tricky part about dating people like that because you know but no nobody was worried about if he was single or not let me tell you that yeah if anything I feel like it would boost his image because his whole thing is singing like beautiful love songs like nobody's gonna be shocked that you're in love right right oh it's about like ed sheeran like people love that he has like his wife yes and so it was so confusing to me but like god forbid i like don't post him on like national boyfriend day or something that really he would get upset about it that's so interesting i've

never had something like that like again this is why i'm not would never be a good therapist because my my borderline is like that's kind of cute but then then I'm like, I guess not. No, but I get that. I have things all the time where I'm like, well, maybe that's because. Yeah. But I did. The whole time I was justifying that stuff because I was like, God, he's so in love with me. Right. No, he isn't.

Yeah, he's just controlling it. But maybe. There must have been love there if he was spending every day. Don't go back to him, but I'm just saying maybe there was. To not think. To think that you never, like, loved. Of course. And I loved him.

So it was like, who knows? Yeah. Well, hopefully just not go back to him, though. Oh, no, no. I was like, no. He would never speak to me again. And I just know that. Well, I feel right now, if you could have anything, if you could star in a movie, have

a husband, or have horses, what would you pick? I would pick star in a movie because then I can find a husband and we can buy a horse. Cute. Oh my God. Who would you want to star in the movie with? Matthew McConaughey. Oh my God. Not to make it all about me. Oh my God. I did a music video where he directed me and it's called Playing the Part by Jamie Johnson. And you don't love him? I loved him.

That's so shocking to me. Oh, God, I love him. I don't love him like that. It is interesting how people just gravitate towards certain people because I never was like, oh, I love him. I can't think of a person in the world who's like more handsome than Matthew McConaughey. I definitely don't think he's like handsome. I think he's kind of weird looking. Really? Oh, my God.

Traditionally good looking, yes, but which is weird because you said you don't really like traditionally good looking guys. I know, but I like him. So you would start with Matthew McConaughey. Maybe he might be a little old, yes, but. Which is weird because you said you don't really like traditionally good looking guys. I know, but I like him. So you would start with Matthew McConaughey. Maybe he might be a little old for me, but. Well, also married. Maybe he's lost the age. But it's just a movie. Oh, right, right, right.

For sure. The acting of it. I could see you doing it. Are you taking, you have an agent or you said you have a manager? I have a manager. I don't have an agent. Are you going to look for one to try your acting? Probably eventually.

Honestly, I would love to get back into it. I just, I don't know. agent are you gonna look for one to try your acting probably eventually honestly i would love to get back into it i just i don't know you're very like um brand you remember that show scream queens like i feel like that's totally your vibe like sorority girls like that that was my vibe i'm trying to get away from it a little bit wait catch me on a horse oh yeah now you're going the horse like every time you say horses and guys i just think like ken from the barbie movie literally never ridden a horse i don't know where i'm getting this horse just girl era isn't that crazy how tiktok can influence you like your for you page and like just the the most random like i'll find like someone to instagram that i love and i'm like oh my god she rides horses like i have to be a horse that's so funny but i love it just taking other people's personalities it's me

too until like all i like eventually find my own yeah it might never happen that i don't know I still haven't found my own. I'm like, I have no idea what I even like. That's like the whole thing is like no sense of like self-identity, but I'm like, I don't really, that's fine. Yeah. You might never find it. I'm having fun trying new things. It's never boring. It's never boring to find new obsessions and new personalities. That's the thing. I love being obsessed with things. Yeah. It's my, it's fun to me. How people don't is actually insane to me. Like how you don't obsess over a TV show, how you don't obsess over a person. Yeah. It's my, it's fun to me. How people don't is actually insane to me. Like how you don't obsess over a TV show, how you don't obsess

over a person. Yeah. Cause it's like, it's like, it's fun. But then when you're obsessing and it's negative, it's like,

yeah, yeah, you gotta obsess over only positive things. It's good things. Yeah. We gotta work on that. Yeah.

I gotta work on that. You got it. You got it made. No, there's sometimes, but honestly there was, I was addicted to like reading negative comments.

I don't know what it was. I think you just want to know. I think it's the morbid curiosity, but now I'm like, I don't really need to know. I'm good. Yeah. Ignorance is bliss. Ignorance is bliss and that's the best thing. What is the one life lesson you would tell yourself at 15 years old? Ooh. Or words of encouragement. What would you tell your 15 year old self? I don't know. I was really insecure at 15. That was the peak of like, I thought I was so obese and ugly and horrible, but it's like, I thought everybody like felt that way. And it's like,

nobody's paying attention to anybody but themselves. So I feel like that's what I would say. Like, yeah, don't worry so much. You're obsessed with yourself and everyone else is also obsessed with themselves. That's a good advice. I feel like to tell people watching, I think when you know that like younger kids watch you or like teenagers and stuff like that, I think that's good advice to give because people do think that, I feel like, to tell people watching. I think when you know that younger kids watch you or teenagers and stuff like that, I think that's good advice to give because people do think that. You always think, oh, my God, everyone thinks I'm bad. The majority of people don't, and the haters are not the majority. The haters are people who are obsessed with you.

Anyone who's going online to comment that stuff is miserable. They have to be, and then you've got to feel bad for them. The real world, like you said, no one's looking out at your weight or anything like that. If they are, then there's something weird with them because it's like, what? Then I used to be like, I would look at girls. I'd be obsessed with girls in my sorority and stuff that I thought were the most beautiful girls in the world who were bigger than me.

And I'm like, why do I think I'm obese and I don't think anything? You know what I mean? It's so strange. It is a weird thing. I think it's almost like body dysmorphia or something like that. It is, but that's the least important thing

in the entire world is what your body fucking looks like. Oh, but it's like the thing I have to avoid the most. A body image is like my... And it's the hardest thing to get rid of. Like I literally, I still do

and I'm like, you know, like all I ever wanted to do was like be the weight I am now and I still think about it so constantly. That it's like, it will never ever stop. You'll never stop,

like all of a sudden be skinny and be happy. I hear that a lot about people who lose weight. They're like, I thought I would like fix all my problems and then it didn't. What do you think about?

Do you think about the eating? Do you think about how you look? What is your— I don't know. Just like I went so many years not— Probably the last four years I've been so good about it, not feeling guilty when I ate something and everything, and then I lost all the weight and got the validation,

and now every time I eat something, I'm like, I shouldn't have done that. You feel interesting. That's sick. Yeah, and that's something I feel— I struggle every day. I always struggle. I'm like, I shouldn't eat something, I'm like, I shouldn't have done that. You feel interesting. That's like, yeah, and that's something I feel. I struggle every day. I always struggle. I'm like, I shouldn't eat today. I shouldn't do that. Like, it's every day.

But it's so like, oh, my God, I wish you could shut it off. Yeah, it's not logical. It's the one thing that I just haven't been able to grasp, control. I'm also just really happy in life, so I'm just like, I don't want to eat food because I'm just happy. And you have to eat. That's the thing. You have to eat, so it's just like you can't cut it So I'm just like, I don't want to eat food because I'm just happy. And you have to eat. That's the thing you have to eat. So it's just like, you can't cut it off cold turkey. Yeah. I don't know. I don't know how to ever get rid of that. I did though. I felt like I was like so good on it. I didn't think about it for so long.

Yeah. And then that happened. You know what I, the only time I didn't think about it was when I was pregnant and actually like lost weight in my pregnancy. Like I actually was smaller after I gave birth than I was before I gave birth. Like it was very bizarre. That's true. But you like, that you literally brought a light, like. Right. Your body just knows. I was like feeling full. I've never felt full in my life. And during pregnancy, I was like full all the time. I was like, wow, is this how normal people feel? Like you feel full after like half of your meal? Like I never feel that way. And now I never feel that way. So I'm like only during pregnancy. It's very weird. It's very bizarre. I never feel full either. feel full either I'm like I don't even have to be hungry

to eat is the problem I know same I just want to have a snack I just want it it's just so nice and everyone's doing Ozempic now I'm like maybe one day

I'll do Ozempic I don't know no it's so stupid people say they like it people are like they do and a lot of people have had like a lot of success

honestly my dad's on Ozempic like I know a lot of people who are doing it but it just like I don't know like it doesn't help no one's happier I am I don't know I don't know. It doesn't help. No one's happier. I am.

I don't know. I don't know. I can never speak to it, but maybe. I don't think I would do Ozempic. I think I would. No. Not so long as you guys are still having kids. Right.

That's what I always say. I mean, maybe after I have kids, maybe I'll do like the tummy tuck, the Ozempic, all that stuff like that. No. I used to be loving surgery and then now. Have you ever had any plastic surgery? I did. I did air sculpt in my arms, like the laser lipo.

Because I had an imaginary thought that my arms were disproportional. Do you think they were bigger or what? And they honestly, they were. I have huge arms. I just had a heavier upper body. I was built like an air pod. Wait, a what? An air pod?

An air pod. The ones that go in your, we got what? An air pod? An air pod. Like the ones that go in your ears? Yeah. Like, you know, like straight on the bottom and on the top. Were you put under

or were you awake? I was, I was awake, but I couldn't feel it. It was like, it was super easy. I just had to wear like a little faha for a couple of weeks.

Oh, did you think it makes a difference? It made a big difference for me. I had lipo on my arms and then they got, gained it all back. They always say, like, lipo, you can't gain the fat back. That's not true. My arms are fatter than ever.

So I don't know where that came from. Yeah, I think it's all propaganda. That is so true. I think that, too. Surgery can be a little bit of a scam. If you want to get it, my boobs aren't. I think Whitney said her boobs weren't even, too. My boobs were very uneven.

So I would always keep those. I lost mine. I lost mine. Honestly, it's in. I'm telling everyone with the small boobs, I'm like, that's really in right now. If mine weren't floppy and everything, I would get them. The problem is they're hanging. Oh, well, that's cute.

A good time and a little not. And they're natural? Mm-hmm. Keep them. Honestly, keep them. I feel like natural is so much better now. Yeah, and I would lift them up, but I'm like, I want to have kids. Yeah, wait.

So might as well wait. Yeah, wait for all that, because it will. Mine are so floppy. The episode with Tana West, I mean, that chair, my boobs were so floppy i was like oh my god what did that happen they used to be so perky that's fun oh my god no i'm not a floppy pancake person but i love pancakes i could not your dog i'm really into right now though like the like lila's got the rock hard like oh the best i love that look right now It's very 2007 and I love it too. 2007, all the girls on Rock of Love had their boobs up there.

I know and I'm like, wait. No, she looks good. Lila, she's so perfect. I know, I got to get her on. She's a little bit of a wild card. I'm always kind of scared, even on Cancel when she comes on. I'm like, she's a loose cannon. I know, but she's such a character.

No, I love her. We get like honor about it on on canceled though because she'll come on like she's the most entertaining person ever and she still is but she'll come on canceled and all of a sudden she's this character that we're like who are you oh really just totally different I think I guess I've always seen her just such a high energy level that I'm like that's all I know she's like she's very like normal usually she's on podcast she just be she says the name she spills all the tea she needs her the tea we're trying to help her with that in a way it's the best podcast guys because like you have so many names you could

drop them like i wouldn't know about this i know but she's someone's gonna kill her well honestly even me talking about people that's like though i stopped talking about people just in general like you just never know people are getting a little mad about this these days yeah it really scares me yeah i'll start lying about people i'm like yeah and he's a tennis player yes oh so they don't like no yeah

I was gonna ask you we have gotten literally oh my god it's almost three hours oh my god I love you but there was did you you probably cut it out

I don't watch any of the interviews back that I've ever been on on podcasts but we talked about we don't have to say who it is the guy you went on the date with at four o'clock cut it

did you cut it why I cut it I was scared I like he just cut it that was the most interesting thing. I was scared. I like... He just cut it. That was the most interesting thing. We don't even have to like give clues. Nothing like that other than

you went to dinner at four o'clock with him. But like that situation, did you DM him? I meant to ask you about this back then too. No. So he used to come in to catch when I worked there. And so he would like... Oh. Like he just... We just became like friends there and then we would like DM back and forth. And I really like... I don't know.

In my head, I really thought it was, like, a casual, like, sometimes I'm, like, really oblivious to, like, if somebody's 50-something, I really am never thinking in my head that they could be, like, romantically interested in me. Because I still feel like I'm a kid. Right. And you are compared to a 50-year-old. Yeah. So then I, like, go thinking, like, oh, my God, this is so nice. He's, like, a mentor. Like, an idiot. And it's, like, he did not think that that was. It was romantic? It was

romantic. How did he know? Did he try to kiss you? No he yeah well he like started texting me some weird stuff where I was like no. Wait like what? Like sexual? Yeah he would just be like and we're gonna like make out blah blah. Oh oh that's. Just kind of like weird things That's also an old man way to text. He's like 60

something too. Like way too old for me. Did you kiss? Did you kiss him? No. None of it. You just went to dinner at four and then went back home. Yeah. Did he pick you up?

No. Okay, that's good. You met him there. I think that's, again, because I'm old and, like, I always like old guys. I was like, oh, my God, that's the one. But, like, seeing him now after that conversation, I, like, looked him up and I was like, oh, my God. Like, ew. With young girls, too, I think that with Dane Cook, he was such a big comedian when I was young and so hot. Everyone

loved him. And to see him with the girl that he met when she was like 17, I was like- That's really scary. Yeah. Didn't they get, did they just got married? They just got married. And everyone's like his longtime partner, 24 year old. I'm like- Longtime partner. How long? I know. And he's like 51. And I'm just like, how people don't see that's like not okay. How these guys are like okay with it looking that old compared to them. It's like it has to be like a power dynamic. I know a couple people like that where it's like you can't control somebody who's like closer in age to you.

Oh, of course. Yeah, yeah. It's so manipulative. Like a little young girl, she's like, you're so rich and powerful. Yeah. It's how you like you thought even with that guy, you know, being like a mentor who introduces people. I thought like he's kind of in my same like genre, like's how you, like you thought even with that guy, you know, being like a mentor, he'll introduce you to people, he'll do this. Well, I thought like he's kind of in my same,

like genre, like not genre, but like I was like, I could probably learn something from him and he's an icon. Yeah, and he knows so many influential people and it just would make sense. Like I would get where you're coming from. Like some people would look and be like,

okay, you knew it was a date, but I probably did. Like I honestly, yeah. Did you dress up? Did you dress up? Or were you covered? No, I was just wearing like a podcast outfit. I went and podcasted immediately yeah. Did you dress up? Were we covered? No, I was just wearing, like, a podcast outfit. I went and podcasted immediately after.

Did you talk about it? Did you talk about it on your podcast? No. No. Okay. Because we talked about it. That's so interesting. Because I was like, oh, I want to know so much about this.

I mean, no. I get scared with anything celebrity. Like, I never, I am really scared to say names. Because I don't want anyone to ever be, like, afraid of me. Yeah, yeah. I think that's smart. And I think with this kind of stuff, it's relatively harmless if someone like did harm to you or something like, you know, that is a different thing, but this is a harmless thing.

And I just think it's so fascinating. The people you meet, the people you encounter, there's something about you. You're the magnet of all good things. You know, Tana saw something in you. These people see something in you and the comment section saw something in you. And I'm this honestly, I literally thought, oh, maybe we're at two hours. It's like three hours. It's crazy. Oh my God. You are amazing. You're such a delight. I'm so happy to like get to know you and just know everything about you. I think you're such a light on the internet. I love you. I will lose it. Oh my God. I'm emotional. I know. Thank you both. I see like great, amazing things. I can't believe you're still so young.

So I hope you just do everything that you want to do and get everything you want out of life. Stop looking at Reddit. I'm never looking at Reddit again. And I love you so much. Thank you so much for having me. I actually can't believe it. Yeah.

I want to come on and cancel. You guys are dressing up now, right? Yes. I saw the clowns or something. You were. I would love nothing more for you. We suggested, what if Trisha came on more often and everyone and everyone went crazy oh i think that would be so fun i would love for you to come back i think i've had tana on she's coming on next week she's like three

times i'd love to you to come back i love repeat gas it is cool because you're i mean it's just trish so it's like like you can bring in really whoever you want and i feel like with all the stuff happening hot topics i mean your guys's life's always like interesting to me i'm like god you guys are doing so much but it is so so fun. Like, I feel like you're such a person we can bring in and just talk about anything. Like, what is going on? Well, that's what I love about Cancel. I love to do it because it's definitely not, like, an interview where it's like, so how did you get started? How

do you do the mukbang? You know, which is, like, fine, but it's just so much... Well, people know. Anyone watching Cancel knows everything about Trisha Paytas. Oh, I appreciate that. And now everyone knows everything about Berger Schofield. You are on so many podcasts. You're everywhere. You're all over the place. And I love to see it. Hold out for the right guy. I will. The Yovan. And now everyone knows everything about Berks Go Field. You are on so many podcasts. You're everywhere. You're all over the place. And I love to see it. Hold out for the right guy.

I will. Theo Vaughn. And no. Yeah, Theo. Theo, if you're listening. Oh, man. That would be a good one. That would be a good pair.

And yeah, you guys check out Canceled. They're no longer on tour, but maybe they'll come back on tour. Yay. So thank you guys for watching, and we'll see you next time. Bye.