Just Trish - Carrot Top Reveals the Most CHAOTIC Moments From His Career

Episode Date: September 21, 2023

Trisha sits down with legendary comedian Carrot Top to discuss the most chaotic and iconic moments from his extraordinary career. Plus, he reveals what REALLY happened to the woman in that viral "not ...real" plane video that broke the internet. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Transcript
Discussion (0)
Starting point is 00:00:00 Oh, guys, welcome to the Jess Trish podcast. And today I am with another legend. I like can't even believe you're here right now because I am a super fan. It is Karen Tapp. Thank you so much. And you are so sweet. You've been on my show and my meet and greets for, I don't even know how many times. 10 years. Yeah. And you brought me these boots that I wish I should have worn them on the plane. They were the wrong size though, right? No, they're, no, they're not. No, no. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:00:24 Oh, okay. Cause I didn't know. I thought maybe they were the wrong size though, right? No, they're not. Was it? No, yeah. Oh, okay. Because I didn't know. I thought maybe they were the wrong size. No. And you know how people have come back to my friends of mine and said, you got to, and they'll put them on and they usually, if they fit, you know, like you've got me 11, they're perfect. Oh my gosh.
Starting point is 00:00:37 That makes me so happy. I love that you remember. Oh yeah. You can't miss these boots. They're like rainbow glittered high top boots. They're unreal. Well, you're rainbow. You're bling or everything i feel like lily tomlin in this chair don't you feel like lily tomlin so cute you do look so cute you're matching i didn't even i swear we talked
Starting point is 00:00:54 about this when i walked in you said oh my god you match the set i had no idea that this was gonna be i mean i know it was pink thing but i didn't think about that i didn't put the two and two together the pink is crazy i love it in a good way because usually pink and like well your hair's not even red i know it's of, it is kind of pink. Yeah. I know people, what happened to your red hair? I'm like, it's, well, it's kind of red. It started getting gray. So I said, well, I'll just change it. You said you did it yourself last night. I did do it myself. What's that process? Like one night you're just like, I'm just bored. No, I knew I was coming here and I thought I want to have a little fun. So I thought I'd make it kind of like freshen
Starting point is 00:01:22 it up and put some blue and some purple and some green and some pink and some red. It's kind of every different color. Just by yourself? Yeah. Listening to music, because that's what you do? Yeah, I listened to some, I think I had Queen on and I was playing my hair. It looks cool. And then the little headband. Your style is so cool. Your personal style and stage style is awesome.
Starting point is 00:01:39 Thank you. I guess, is it style? Yes. It's a lack of style. There's no inspiration behind it? No. You know what? Really, I don't know. People sometimes will say, from your neck up is enough. You don't need to really, you know.
Starting point is 00:01:53 If I have something crazy, I'm like, why would you? You already are. That's all. Yeah, but over the top is like what makes you. I feel like when people see you, they're like, that's care at top. True. If I didn't have makeup on or I didn't have hair colored, they'd be like, you okay?
Starting point is 00:02:08 I'm sure you're probably the most recognizable celebrity in the whole world, I would think. In a lineup, I am for sure. If I didn't do it, they'd think I did it. Do you always love it? I get a lot of people that will say, oh my god, that's a pretty good Carrot Top.
Starting point is 00:02:22 If you're trying to. Do people ever say that? Oh, no. Yesterday someone said that. No. No, I walked to the MGM and this guy's like, dude, are you trying to be carrot top? It's pretty good. No way.
Starting point is 00:02:33 So yeah, I'm nailed it, huh? How is the MGM? Is it okay? Yeah. Yeah. Well, you mean with the hacking? I can't even get in my own emails. I don't know how someone got into the MGM grand, but yeah, thanks for calling MGM.
Starting point is 00:02:44 How can I help you? Oh, you can help me. It's horrible. It is. And I don't know how, I mean, that's what, you know, it's probably some 12-year-old kid, little hacker, but they haven't fixed it yet, so they should call my nephew. He'll fix it, because all these kids are so smart.
Starting point is 00:03:00 Wait, your nephew knows how to hack? No, I hope not. If you're watching, you better not be hacking things. No, but they're smart. You know what I mean? If I can't figure out my phone, I'll give it to him. He'll give me the thing and boom, you're back on. But you were at the MGM, so you were just like walking through, not playing. I had met a friend for lunch and I was trying to find the restaurant.
Starting point is 00:03:15 As I walked in, some guy's like, dude, that's a pretty good character. I'm like, yeah, I'm not trying. You're like a walking advertisement for everything, your show, all of that stuff like that. And you're at the Luxor. You said you just signed. Can you tell me that? Yeah. I think I can say it.
Starting point is 00:03:30 I think we just signed another extension for another five years. So, yeah. So we still have, I think, the rest of this year and then a year and then five. So we have like six and a half years. So if you have time, you have time to come see me, but we'll be there. Wow. Yeah, it's exciting. It's exciting because I don't want to – I have nowhere else to go. So if you have time, you have time to come see me, but we'll be there. Wow. Yeah, it's exciting. It's exciting
Starting point is 00:03:46 because I don't want to, I don't, I have nowhere else to go. So I hope they keep me. Do you not tour? You don't like travel. Oh, no, I do some tour too, but not a lot.
Starting point is 00:03:54 I know. Yeah, it's a lot, but not a lot. I used to do more when we had, but the shows in the MGM take up a lot of time. It's like 40 weeks a year. Oh my gosh.
Starting point is 00:04:03 So if I do the road stuff and tours, it's usually on my time off. So I still like doing it because it's a whole different experience being on the road. Different energy, crowds are different, but yeah. And six nights a week. Six nights a week at the Luxor, yeah. That's crazy. That's why you're in such good shape because you're like actors like so physical. I've never seen a comedian move so much on stage ever. This is true. I do move a lot. Just because, like, I hurt a lot, too. Seriously. Do you? No, you know, when the show's over, you're like, oh my God, why is my arm hurt?
Starting point is 00:04:29 Do you take, like, an Epsom salt bath or something? I should. I like that. I should do an Epsom salt bath. Because I would imagine. I haven't done that in years. Yeah, Epsom salt. I like that. My mom always used to do it. Suck your fate in Epsom salts. Really? I wonder if it works. You done it? No, when I was a kid, my mom always did it. But that's funny. I wonder if it works. You've done it? No. When I was a kid,
Starting point is 00:04:45 my mom always did it, but that's funny. I should maybe try that. I was just laying a whole bath of it. It's amazing. No, your show, my favorite part of your show
Starting point is 00:04:51 is the end when you do the lip sync montage. What do you mean at the end? My favorite part of your show is at the end. My favorite part of your show is when it's over. That's usually
Starting point is 00:04:59 everyone's favorite part. Well, the finale. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, I'm kidding. It's funny. In words, it's funny. Right. Yeah, that is a funny, you know, it's fun for me too, actually, the finale. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, I'm kidding. It's funny. In words, it's funny. Yeah, that is a fun. You know, it's fun for me, too, actually, that part.
Starting point is 00:05:09 Because I get to run around and, you know, pretend I'm a rock star. So that's fun. No, but you are like an actual rock star with the eyeliner. I'm an actual rock star. Oh, yeah, right. You party. Everything except the part how you don't know how to play any instruments. I'm just like a rock star.
Starting point is 00:05:21 But you sing, right? Well, I can play drums. Right. I can play drums. You were in the marching band in high school, right? I was in the marching band. In Florida, shout out. So I can play. Yeah rock star. But you sing, right? Well, I can play drums. Right. I can play drums. You were in the marching band in high school, right? I was in the marching band. In Florida, shout out. So I can play, yeah, Florida, yeah.
Starting point is 00:05:30 In the marching band, the drum. And, you know, of all things, because, you know, because drummers are the coolest part of the band, naturally, the drummers. Until the first parade we did, and I thought, oh, I should have been a piccolo player, you know, because I've got to carry this damn drum around, you know, for eight miles with this big drum. And I think this poor little, you know, flute player is watching. It's like, I'm so hot, I'm going to lose my mind. I'm like, you know, the tuba's mouthpiece wears more than your whole instrument.
Starting point is 00:05:56 Were you playing the big bass drum? Yeah. Oh, that was... That was the first year. Then I moved up to like, you know, the snares and the bongos and congas. Oh, my God. But the first year, yeah, the bass drum was like huge. And I remember being in a parade like, why did I pick the drums?
Starting point is 00:06:08 This is crazy. Oh my God. So you're like an actual drummer. You're like legit if you like moved up throughout the years. Tommy Lee, look out. Is he your favorite? Is that the best drummer you think of all time? Oh, you know what I like about Tommy? Well, no, I mean, there's so many drummers.
Starting point is 00:06:17 That's funny because, and even when they ask people like Rolling Stone, you know, the best drummer in the world. It's hard because there's been so many drummers that are good. What I liked about Tommy Lee and still like about Tommy Lee was the way they, how he took the drum set and they moved it into like, used it as more as just sitting there. It went upside down and it went over. That was just kind of cool.
Starting point is 00:06:37 You know, you watch, someone had to think, you know, put it on a big roller coaster and he's playing drums, going around upside down, playing in a rock and roll band upside down in seatbelts. That was kind of – that's – he has to get laid every night. Of course, yeah. You saw me in the drum set upside down, didn't you? Right. No, the drummers are always the best part, for sure.
Starting point is 00:07:00 Do you sing at all? No. No, I mean, I do like to do country song. Wait, really? No, you know what I mean? I got that i can't i mean i do like do country song you know no you know i got that kind of like a voice where i can do you know country song but i don't think i could do like uh like like bon jovi or something because that's like your style yeah that's gonna bon jovi probably uh i don't think i could hit that with that one song he rated that the where he's it's almost it's unbelievable that i think it was the first hit that came out with when he hits that high note it's like that's's unbelievable. I think it was the first hit they came out with. When he hits that high note, it's like, that's pretty impressive.
Starting point is 00:07:27 Yeah. I think that's Bon Jovi doing that. It was like, it might've been Jovi. I don't know if it was John. It might've been Jovi. It's Bon Jovi. I mean. John Bon Jovi.
Starting point is 00:07:35 I met him. He's very nice. Really? Yeah. Very nice guy. Very nice. Yeah. He likes saying at someone's wedding.
Starting point is 00:07:40 Did you see that? I was like, oh my gosh. That's cool. Could you imagine? Has anyone ever asked you to perform at a wedding before? Do you take it as like an insult? And ask how many times i've done it how many times none so yeah but people always ask me that hey you want to do our wedding i'm like no i don't want to be part of your wedding there's no price tag well i guess you're so like rich no i just don't want to be you know i don't know i'm like you know what i
Starting point is 00:08:00 want you guys to say married and be happy and bless you this is me at your fucking wedding and ruin it you would be yeah you would be happy. And then let's meet at your fucking wedding and ruin it. You would be, yeah. You would be so, I always wonder that when people like perform at weddings. I'm like, you know, it's kind of cool. Like Jon Bon Jovi singing that. It's like, wow. No one could pay him enough money.
Starting point is 00:08:12 Yeah. That is, I wonder if it was someone he knew. Probably someone he knew. I'm just saying. It wasn't just some email or, you know, like an Instagram saying, we're singing our wedding. He's like, sure. When is it? Would you do it for a friend?
Starting point is 00:08:24 No. Not even for a friend. You're like, no. Weddings are off my, I don't go to weddings. I's like, sure. When is it? Would you do it for a friend? No, not even for a friend. You're like, no. Weddings are off my, I don't go to weddings. I don't do weddings. Yeah, well, because you're at the Luxor. You're headlining there. Yeah, that's why. That's why.
Starting point is 00:08:33 And you made all that money off the AT&T commercials. Nice. There was an era there. There was an era of, yeah, which was a fun era because there were pay phones. No one knows what a pay phone is anymore. Right. And it was for a collect call. And I used to say, even back then, I said, who's making collect calls?
Starting point is 00:08:49 Prisoners? Is this my audience? Am I talking to – I mean, that's my audience. And 13-year-olds. I was. And yes, I would say kids who are prisoners. Why would you want to be making collect calls? I mean, so many because of you, the 1-800-CALL-AGT.
Starting point is 00:09:01 You know, it's a funny story about that. I was doing – when I was doing those, it was at that height of, you know, it was 30 of them a year that would be put out. It would say dial down the center with 1-800-CALL. So I'm in this mall and I don't even remember now, Iowa or something. We were doing a show and I went to the mall, just killed the day. And this woman walked up and she says, I have, my son wants to ask, to tell you something. I said, oh, where's your son?
Starting point is 00:09:26 He was like this little 12-year-old boy. And he says, you're a liar. And I said, what's that? And he says, you're a liar. And I looked at mom. I said, I'm a liar? Why am I a liar? And he says, because you say dialed down the center with 1-800, and then C-A-L is not in the center.
Starting point is 00:09:40 It's on the side. And I was like, wow. Oh, my gosh. That's a smart little cute little shit and uh yeah i'm like you're right i am a liar amongst other things but yeah oh my gosh what did you say you're just like yeah no i said you're right you're gonna be smart when you go you already are smart you don't have to grow up now right but what you should work for an executive one day for an adding agency he should have been on the set when we were filming it um by the way it's
Starting point is 00:10:03 not down the side it's not in the center. It's not in the center. But I just never forgot that it was so cute. You're a liar. It was cool because you would see the blue numbers down the center. So it made sense that you would think it would be down the center. Did you come up? You did a lot. I heard.
Starting point is 00:10:15 Every one of them. That you improvised. Yeah. What they would do is, I know. What they would do is they would give me a kind of an outline of what the scene was going to be like at a beach or at a basketball thing or hockey and then they would say carrot top ad lib that was the script oh really you shouldn't have thanks writers so he's in carrot top ad lib and then you know do the 1-800 call it and then whatever ad lib again yeah so yeah all those commercials i basically did without any help. They were fun.
Starting point is 00:10:45 They were very successful. They did great. Wow. They would just be like, okay, you're at the basketball court. Come up with something. Come up with something. I said, okay, we'd come up with some kind of basketball thing. Oh, my gosh.
Starting point is 00:10:55 Or put me in a basketball outfit or something. The very first one I ever, the very first take-em, the very first one I did was great because I had never done it yet so we're on Santa Monica at the beach and they had the payphone in the in the park there by the beach and I don't know there's like 200 people on the set you know so just for a phone commercial it's amazing there's like you know 200 people involved and okay and action so I did the whole hey if you're on the call 1-800 I had the the pay I had the handle of the phone in my hand. I just said, 1-800-LA.
Starting point is 00:11:28 It's free for you and cheap for them. And I took the phone thing and I banged the machine with it. Yes. Using the handle. And it just seemed, it was funny. People laughed. And it just seemed like, I don't know. So we're sitting there. but now we're moving on.
Starting point is 00:11:46 It's like hour three, we're going to take a lunch break. And everyone came over and they said, we have to redo the whole thing. And I said, the whole thing? Like, why? You can't hit the phone with the thing because you're defacing the property of the phone. And you don't even think about things like that. The company's watching and going, you're banging the phone on the phone. Right.
Starting point is 00:12:10 So people are going to think. They're going to do it too. Is that logic? Yeah. And I'm like, okay. So that got the highest rated. They took it. They had to redo it.
Starting point is 00:12:19 But they got the highest rated one out of all the ones I ever did because I hit the phone. That's what people liked. But then they were like, no, we don't. They didn't like it. But yeah. rated one out of all the ones I ever did because I hit the phone. Oh. That's what people liked. But then they were like, no, we don't. They didn't like it, but yeah. But they used it. They used it. And then they got all kinds of complaints from the, like, not the people, not from people,
Starting point is 00:12:35 the company itself. What company? AT&T. Yeah. Oh, but the phone. Like the company looked back and said, ooh, I don't think that's good. But all the numbers were the highest rated because I was banging on the phone. So it's just interesting what I learned doing commercials with like a big company. There's so many more people that get involved and look at it
Starting point is 00:12:54 in a different light than as a dumb comic. I don't know what I'm doing. I'm just trying to get people to laugh. That was crazy. No, because you were everywhere. And it was like this like wild person on TV. Like as a 12-year-old, you just watch you and you're just like larger than life, you know? Because like I didn't know at 12. And then you're just like, oh, my God, this person is like – he looks cool. You looked like a rock star. And then you were doing the like banging on the phone thing. And I was like, oh, my gosh.
Starting point is 00:13:13 That's amazing. So the line, it's cheap for you. Free for you and cheap for them. Did you come up with that one? No. Okay. So that was the tagline. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:13:21 It's free for you and cheap. No, I didn't. Because it wasn't cheap for them. Right. It's just like. I know. I got in trouble so many times calling collect. Yeah. Like that was the tagline. That was, yeah. It's free for you and cheap. No, I didn't. Because it wasn't cheap for them. Right. It's just like. I know. I got in trouble so many times calling collect. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:13:28 Like literally like stop doing this. I would get that a lot too. Yeah. Parents would come into me and say, you're killing me. My kid's making collect calls because of you. I'm like, oh, I'm sorry. Like people would just. Oh my gosh.
Starting point is 00:13:37 Because then they think they could call me, you know. Oh, right. They try to call me. You know, they're trying to call you. That's so funny. Just look you up as like hair top. Yeah. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:13:46 It was cute though. But yeah. Oh my gosh. That's so, do you get paid? I wonder, do you get paid every time you say it? Like now that you said that,
Starting point is 00:13:51 will they pay you for that tagline that you said it right now? Let's find out. It's free for you and cheap for them. Just dial down the center with 1-800. Call ATT. They probably don't have that anymore, I guess. I don't,
Starting point is 00:14:00 I haven't seen a pay, I don't see pay phones anymore. But we, but we've, I, I've kind of in my head thought of, of going back to them and saying, I guess, with the pay phones. I don't see pay phones anymore. But I've kind of in my head thought of going back to them and saying, let's do a new
Starting point is 00:14:10 thing with me as the old member. Hey, remember me? Now we have to do something cellular or whatever it happens to be. Oh my gosh, that would be so smart. Yeah, we're not going to now. Wait, why? No, because I made fun of them earlier.
Starting point is 00:14:24 Well, you could smash the pay phones and do everything in the past. So actually destroy them. Yeah, there was fun doing the AT&T. It was great. And they were always good to me. We must have done four or five years of those. So it was good. Wow.
Starting point is 00:14:33 So probably, how many a year did you do? Oh, we did a lot of them. That's crazy. We just looked one up. Someone sent one the other day. And it was timeless. It was still funny. I was like roller skating in there.
Starting point is 00:14:44 I don't know. They're all so good. I was like, hey, good looking. You want to pick me up? It was some. It was still funny. I was like roller skating. I don't know. They're all so good. I was like, hey, good looking. You want to pick me up? It was some stupid thing. And then they have to improv back with you, the actors? Yeah. That's my biggest fear.
Starting point is 00:14:51 Yeah, I know. Oh, my gosh. It's almost everyone's fear. It's almost everyone's fear. Well, there's improv. There's one where you did an interrogation with a woman. And I was like, I would be so nervous. What do you even say?
Starting point is 00:15:00 Yeah, sometimes. But they would hire people. Right, professionals. Well, they hire people. Right, professionals. Well, they'd read for them or something. People to this day will come in. I was in a commercial with you. I had to read for it. And I said, yeah.
Starting point is 00:15:13 So it was fun. Well, they're so smart because you're so like a marketing genius. Like you're so good at marketing yourself, branding yourself. Like you're very orange. Well, today you're very pink. That's what my degree is in, marketing. You majored in marketing. Oh, so you went to college.
Starting point is 00:15:26 Yeah, I know. Why is it so shocking to you? I don't know. You always hear people – No, I know. No, I used to sit in my show in college. I know, right? But no, I did, yeah.
Starting point is 00:15:34 Wow. A degree in marketing. But not that I really – but I think there was a lot of marketing, which is weird because you used to say after getting a marketing degree, then you go right into comedy. Makes sense, the transition. Right. I mean, that's what you normally do, right? You get a law degree and then you go into comedy. But the marketing really wasn't essential from the very beginning.
Starting point is 00:15:55 When I first started doing, like, early, early days, it would be like a comedy club wall. Let's say it's brick, maybe not. It could be this and every comic would stand every night
Starting point is 00:16:08 all the people watching would just see you and when I came up I had my little prop trunk so in the lid I put Carrot Top in the lid of it so the back
Starting point is 00:16:17 like the whole time it said Carrot Top so when the crowd was done that night with the show they would say who'd you see and they would say
Starting point is 00:16:22 we saw you get him Carrot Top because it was in there they saw it so there was yeah so top, because it was in there. They saw it. So there was a little bit of almost to a degree of marketing, well, not to a degree, to a lot degree. But thinking about it, I did think that through. I thought, I should have a logo, and I should have a whole kind of, in a sense, an image
Starting point is 00:16:43 and a look to go with the whole act. Right. So the Carrot Top came about. With red hair. With red hair. Did someone like give you that name or you're just like, I think it's funny? No, I'm trying. My mom seems to say that I got it when I was in the swim team when I was a kid.
Starting point is 00:16:59 And I was a horrible swimmer. My brother was an incredible swimmer. Went to the Air Force Academy on a scholarship in swimming. He still has records in the academy for being a great swimmer. My brother was an incredible swimmer. He went to the Air Force Academy on a scholarship in swimming. He still has records in the academy for being a great swimmer. And I was on the, you know, I was on the, what do you call it, the block, you know, ready to, you know, swimmers take your mark. And I would be like, you know, pulling my, you know, my bathing suit all the way up to my, over my chest or all the way down, show my butt crack. And they're like, stop. And I did, you know, I was just being funny. I didn't want to be a swimmer.
Starting point is 00:17:33 I just wanted to be a comedian, even at the young age. So my mom says, no, he's, your swim coach called you Carrot Top. And I said, okay, I don't remember that. Oh my gosh, really? I don't remember that. But I remember being in college when I was thinking of doing it, comedy, I was in my dorm and I remember I drew a logo and I remember coming up with Carrot Top and I thought, well, it's funny because I had the logo first before I even had an act. And my roommate's like, what's that? Is that for one of your classes?
Starting point is 00:18:00 I'm like, no, it's for when I'm a comedian. Is that your comedian? I'm like, no, but I have the logo. Do I get that part done? So get that out of the way. You got that first. Yeah. But I did think of that first. I thought I need a logo and a name and something because I need to be something kind of fun and catchy and show busy. Not that Carrot Top is, but it wasn't better than my, you know, my name's Scott Thompson was like, no, it's not really,
Starting point is 00:18:20 that's not that fun. Right. But if I was a lawyer, you know, Scott Thompson, a squire. Yeah. But Carrot Top. And then when I went on stage for the first time and did it for opening joke was a big orange wig and I'd take it off and then my hair would come out the same as the wig. So that was the first joke. Yeah, Carrot Top.
Starting point is 00:18:37 Oh, yeah, it's not funny. Yeah, I think it's funny. And then I did three or four shows and people were like, hey, Carrot Top. I'm like, oh, God, is that like a blessing or a curse that now I've named myself, you know? You're so branded. Right. Yeah. But I was kind of stuck then.
Starting point is 00:18:50 So once – there was one day I remember just sitting and watching TV and they were like, you know, we're right back with Carrot Top. And I thought, God, I could have picked any name. It could have been any name. I could have picked something so cool. Carrot Top is cool. Well, it is, you know, I guess it is now. But I mean, it could have been – damn, it could have been anything.
Starting point is 00:19:04 What would have been an alternative name? Queen Latifah. But could have been damn it could have been anything but what would have been an alternative name Queen Latifah but that was but I think she took that that would have been cute Queen something would have been good for you
Starting point is 00:19:11 yeah I don't know what the equivalent would be just because you are such a rock star yeah it would have the same vibe but Carrot Top
Starting point is 00:19:17 has worked out okay Carrot Top is now I don't think about it but I remember when I first did it I was like oh good will you rise with the sun to help change
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Starting point is 00:20:23 Do they say, hey, Carrot Top? My grandmother called me Carrot Top. No, I'm not making this up. Did she actually? Yes. Grandma, it's me, Scott. No way. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:20:31 No, I'm not kidding. I wouldn't make that up. Oh, my gosh. Because it became bigger than me. Right. It just took over the brand of even me, took over me. So then even my grandmother was like, Carrot Top. I'm like, it's Scott.
Starting point is 00:20:45 How do you deal with, because like the only time I've ever taken a picture of a celebrity without them knowing, and I think it's like the rudest thing when people take pictures of you from far away, I think it's like weird, was you. You were the one person I did it. You were sitting in front of me in first class, but my mom like really loved you. And I was like, oh my, we were going to Disney World from Vegas, I think, or maybe LA. I don't remember. And you're right in front of us.
Starting point is 00:21:05 And I had to take a picture of your hair because I was so excited. But does it bother you when people do that? From behind, it does. I had no idea you took that picture. That's funny. Now, if you come around this way, hey, I was flying here just today to see you. And people were doing that when they get on. From far away.
Starting point is 00:21:22 Well, when they get on, they come on and it's kind of funny. They have their thing and they kind of pretend like they're texting, but they're pointing right at you. So I just kind of usually do like, oh, what's up? And then I go, let's get one. You know, I'm like picking my nose. So if you're going to, let's do one. They're like, oh.
Starting point is 00:21:39 So you don't have to look at your head. Yeah, I'd rather people ask me for a picture than sneak one because it's always the worst pictures when they when they sneak attack and then it's and you know that's the one you see in the magazine where it's like here tops let himself go and it's like it feels like weird yeah so you know you're like i look like shit why did they use that one yeah because you look shit in every picture dude you actually photograph well and in person like i looked up your age i don't want to say your age but i was like you look so good like i literally thought that's for my age i look no i thought you were seriously like my I don't want to say your age, but I was like, you look so good. Like I literally thought- That's for my age, I look great. No, I thought you were seriously like, I don't know,
Starting point is 00:22:07 I thought we were like the same age. Like growing up, I remember thinking you looked like a teenager in the AT&T commercials. And now you look so young too. And I was just like, oh my gosh, like you look so cool. What's your secret? The lighting you put in here. Seriously, it looks good. That is true. I do it for me too. No, I don't really have a secret. I mean, I think I look better than I might. I mean, I know I look better than my ages. But I don't know. People always do say they're like, well, you haven't aged.
Starting point is 00:22:29 I'm like, yeah, wait till you see me get out of this chair. You'll see me get out of here. You'll see. Looks good. Doesn't move well. I think you just have what seems to be on social media because you're very active on social media. And it seems to you have such a relaxed life. Is that true or do you think you're more –
Starting point is 00:22:44 No, very relaxed. Yeah, yeah. You're like on boats. Yeah, I try have such a relaxed life. Is that true or do you think you're more? No, very relaxed. Yeah, yeah. You're like on boats. Yeah, I try to. What a life. I need to get back. I haven't done this. It's time for the speedo and the backflip off the boat.
Starting point is 00:22:52 I haven't done that in a while. Classic you. I used to do that every time I left. That was my signature goodbye to Florida. I would say, okay, well, it's time to leave Florida. And I'd have my speedo and backflip off the boat. It looks so peaceful. It is. It is.
Starting point is 00:23:05 It is. And any time you're on a boat, floating on a boat, there's nothing like it. But yeah. Yeah. Anyway, I work a lot and then I get to take a little break. But my life is pretty relaxed with the exception of the shows that are pretty taxing every night for six nights a week. But it's a fun show.
Starting point is 00:23:23 You've been to it. So it's fun and you have a good time. And at the end of the day, you're like, it's fun. It's so good. And the stage, that's like the best stage, because you're down, and then it's kind of almost like an arena almost set up. Yeah, it's a great theater. It's like stadium seating is what they call it.
Starting point is 00:23:37 It's exactly that. So cool. And it's a nice size, and people can see everything, especially with all the visuals and the props. So it's a great theater. When I first got there, it was actually a little bit – they were almost too close to me. I felt a little bit – Like on top of you. Yeah, they're right there.
Starting point is 00:23:52 You almost don't want to see them not laughing. But it's a great room, yeah. Has that happened where people just sit and, like, don't want to laugh? Oh, yeah, yeah. A lot of times they don't even know they're not – yes. I mean, you get that all the time. But it's weird because I've done this for almost 38 years. You can't really specifically hone in on one person, two.
Starting point is 00:24:13 Yeah. Comics are very well known for doing that. And anyone, singing, everyone. They always do. Everyone does it. They hone in on one particular person. And you might think, oh, God, they look miserable. But then at the end, they're the first one to stand up kind of thing.
Starting point is 00:24:26 Oh, interesting. So you don't know right away. Sometimes they're just listening. They don't know. Unless they're just literally sleeping. Has that ever happened? Oh, yeah. People sleeping?
Starting point is 00:24:35 I guess that older. Vegas, yeah. Drunk. Not a lot, but it always gets the laugh. It's like a plant, and it's not a plant. But I'll say, is that guy, is that guy, like, sleeping? And everybody, like, like, oh, and has a weird, like, a sigh, and then, or they might laugh. And I go, no, seriously, I don't care that you're sleeping, but what joke did you just say, I'm done?
Starting point is 00:24:59 What exact joke was it you just said, I'm going to bed now, just give me a check to nap? Which your show is like, boom, boom, it's like joke after joke. And just said, I'm going to bed now. Just give me a check. It didn't happen. Your show is like boom, boom, boom. It's like joke after joke. And that's what I usually say. I said, how do you sleep? Because my show is not only loud, but it's fast-paced. And there's lights flashing. And there's music every second.
Starting point is 00:25:16 So I'm like, how did you fall asleep during my show? It's like I can see some shows where it's like a melodic kind of hmm. Some Cirque shows are just the music almost puts you into this trance. Right. But this show is so rock and roll and fast paced. And it is surprising that they fall. But like you said, they could be liquored up or they just don't even know.
Starting point is 00:25:36 They're just like, I'm out. It's Vegas. Yeah. I'm done. I usually let them sleep. I just let them sleep. Really? Yeah, I let them sleep.
Starting point is 00:25:42 They paid. So, you know. They already paid. But I'm like, yeah, let them sleep. How just let them sleep. Really? Yeah, I let them sleep. They paid, so, you know. They already paid, but I'm like, yeah, let them sleep. How many jokes are in your show? Too many, but yeah, there's a lot. Probably even just, oh, yeah. Like one-liners? I wouldn't say a thousand, but I'll have to check that one day and get the math.
Starting point is 00:25:58 One day, just count it out. Yeah. I know there's a lot of, we did find out recently with the, because we had a question about one night. Someone came backstage and said, how many sound effects do you have in the show? And I said, well, it depends on, you know, every show kind of is different, but I don't know. I said maybe 50. And my sound guy's like, dude, you have like 250. I'm like, in one show?
Starting point is 00:26:21 He's like, yeah. So there's a lot of, there's a lot in video wall stuff. So there's a lot going on every second. Yeah, your tech person should – Yeah, there's music. And I've always wanted to be kind of like that because, I don't know, when you go to a show, you just want it to be real fast-paced and real kind of – you don't get a chance for people to do that.
Starting point is 00:26:43 Right. No, yours is definitely the most exciting. I used to be like a stand-up comedy groupie when I was like 18, and sometimes they would drag a little. Like, you're like, okay, the stories are really long or whatever, but yours is just like, I like laugh out loud at your show. Like, it's like, how can you not? Everyone I brought to it, my husband saw it for the first time, I think two years ago
Starting point is 00:26:58 we went, like laughed out loud. Like, he had obviously never seen, I mean, he's from Israel. I don't think he toured over there, so he's from Israel. Like, he didn't know. Oh, I'm huge in Israel. Huh? I'm huge in Israel. Oh, are you?
Starting point is 00:27:06 Oh yeah. No. We did summer tours there every day. Well, he's like, well, we never knew, but we didn't have care to talk. And then the AT&T commercials over there. No, I know that. Yeah. That's true.
Starting point is 00:27:15 So he was like very unfamiliar and he was just like laughing. Like it was, I mean, everyone, that's like the show to go to. My dad will always go to that show because it's like guaranteed. Like you can't not laugh at your show. Like you just can't, right? Like it's not like someone would go there and be like, this isn't funny. Well, we always hope that. The night they stopped laughing is when you're in trouble. But yeah. It's amazing. And no one, no one does prop comedy. I guess I was, I was watching the interviews. You said older comics did. I don't know any, I guess before my time, I don't know. Yeah. There's not a lot of modern day comics that
Starting point is 00:27:43 do props, but there's been, of course, many back in the day. There were more vaudeville days and more, of course, with Gallagher. There was Gary Mulder. There was a lot of guys that didn't do it to the extent that I do, I think, though. There's a lot. There's a lot. In a different kind of way, like, Rip Taylor did props and Rip Taylor was more of a pun based. He'd say, hey, it's a booby trap and it'd be a bra with mouse traps on it.
Starting point is 00:28:14 It's pretty good. It is. It's like a play on words. Yeah. So I kind of did it in a different kind of way, presenting them in a different kind of way to make it different than what Rip Taylor did or what Gallagher did. It was kind of a different kind of style of prop comedy. Kind of like Shark Tank, like inventions, you call it. Yeah, that's exactly
Starting point is 00:28:31 it, yeah. Because when they did the South Park episode, I remember saying our family guy, I forget which one it was, I said they did the seesaw, and I was like, ugh, I don't really remember if they gave me theaw. And I was like, I don't really remember. They gave me the script.
Starting point is 00:28:47 I was like, this is horrible. And the guy picks up, it says in the script, you know, Carrot Top goes by. And then he picks up a saw with glasses on it. And he says, oh, a seesaw. And I'm like, it's very Rip Taylor-y, right? So I was like, so I told, you know, everybody, I didn't think it was funny. Seth MacFarlane, you know, to tell Seth MacFarlane something's not funny. Right.
Starting point is 00:29:11 He was like, oh, dude, what's not funny about it? I'm like, well, it's not that it's not funny. Don't get me wrong. Because it's funny, but it's not really what I do. So it's kind of not really a carrot-toppy kind of thing. And he was like, I'm confused. Oh. And I said, well, how about if we do like one of my props?
Starting point is 00:29:28 And he said, well, give me an example. So I told him one of my props. And he's like, oh, that's way funnier and more clever. But I think the point of this is to fuck with me too. So, oh, you want to kind of dumb me down to it? He's no, no, we don't. We want you to shine in this. But I think the audience is going to get it if we do that kind of joke
Starting point is 00:29:47 instead of doing my paper cups and string joke with the call waiting. He said, that's great, but I don't think it's – it's got to be a quick joke and it's got to be kind of funny and kind of dumb. And then I said, well – and we already have the animation for it. So it's done. So I said, well, then it was a waste of phone calls. So we're doing this or we're not doing this? It's up to you. I said, well, let's do it. Oh, you did it. Yeah, of course I did. So it's done. live so we can tweak in the animation. So I went into the actual studio with Seth McFarlane and the whole crew. And that was really cool because you're sitting behind the glass
Starting point is 00:30:28 looking at the guy that does every voice imaginable. And he's right in front of you and you're like, and he's doing the voice and you're like, I can't concentrate. This is awesome. And it turned out to be one of the best episodes. And to this day, people still walk by and say, seesaw, dude. So
Starting point is 00:30:44 they were right. I was completely wrong. But it was great. Maybe like the general American audience, if they know you or don't know you, they'll still get that joke. Maybe that's what they were thinking. Like I said, it was great and it worked out great. And the fact that you got to be yourself on
Starting point is 00:30:59 Family Guy is crazy. It was great. It was a great moment. Because people write you in a lot to shows. I've seen, like, how many guest appearances have you done as yourself? Probably like a hundred. A lot of them, yeah. I was looking up all of them because I remember you on Holly's World. I was talking to you about that.
Starting point is 00:31:13 You know, you've just been on every single show. It's like insane. Vegas, you're all around with Criss Angel, all this stuff like that. I was taking George Lopez's daughter out on his show. That was funny. What? I don't know about this one. George Lopez, yeah.
Starting point is 00:31:25 Wait, really? Wait, wasn't she like so young on the? I don't know about this one. George Lopez, yeah. Wait, really? Wait, wasn't she like so young on the show? Not one that long. One of the first, yeah, it was not that long ago. Okay. But I guess the George Lopez show. Well, he has a new one now. Yeah, it was the other one.
Starting point is 00:31:34 Okay, okay. So it was about eight, nine years ago, probably now. Wow. But it was kind of funny. So there's a knock at the door and he's saying something to his daughter like, you know, where are you going? I have a date. And all of a sudden, ding dong, and I open the door and it's me.
Starting point is 00:31:46 She's like, you're dating Carrot Top. It was a funny episode. Oh, that's everyone's dream. You're dating Carrot Top? Oh, okay. This is not happening. So it was fun. Oh, he wasn't about it?
Starting point is 00:31:54 No, he was funny. On the show, he wasn't about it. Oh, no, no. No, I mean, yeah. Because I think that's like everyone's dream to be dating Carrot Top. It was just a funny, you know, a good punchline that his daughter's, you know, I'm here to pick up his daughter. Oh, my gosh. So it was funny, yeah. Would you ever do, do know, a good punchline that his daughter's, you know, I'm here to pick up his daughter. Oh, my gosh.
Starting point is 00:32:05 So it was funny, yeah. Would you ever do, do you remember those reality dating shows of the early 2000s, like Bret Michaels did Rock and Bluff and Flavor Flavor? Yeah, I remember, I remember watching, Flavor's a good friend of mine. Wait, really? Oh, yeah. Flavor's been to the show probably, oh, God, a hundred times? No way. Yeah, Flavor Flavor is a dear friend.
Starting point is 00:32:23 Oh, my gosh. And he's so sweet, and he's the nicest guy in the world. And this is not a joke. So here's how I met him. So I'm getting on a plane from San Francisco to Vegas, and I'm literally at the bar because it was delayed or something, or I don't know what happened. And I don't think – I remember what airline it was,
Starting point is 00:32:43 but they came to the bar, not Flavor Flake, the flight attendant and said, let's go. We're boarding. And I was like, oh, my God. Like, I don't even know how they saw me or they, I don't know. But they came to get me. And I remember saying, oh, my God, this is the sweetest thing that anyone's ever to this day done. They went to get me for a flight. It wasn't my agent or manager.
Starting point is 00:33:05 It was like a flight attendant. So I said, oh, my God, thank you so much. And we saw you sitting there and I know you were on the flight. So I'm walking with the flight attendant to go on. And I hear this guy like pleading his case. He's like, I'm not drunk. I ain't drunk. And I look over and I see Flavor Flav at the gate saying to this lady, there's like two people that work at the airline, sir, you're intoxicated in the plane.
Starting point is 00:33:30 You're going to have to. He said, I'm not drunk. And I remember looking over and I said, Flavor. And he looked at me and I said, Carrot Top. He said, Carrot Top. And I said to the two people, I said, he's not drunk. He's Flavor Flav. I said, he's not drunk.
Starting point is 00:33:44 He's Flavor Flav. He's fine. That's him. And they put him on the plane. Oh my gosh! Because you said it was just that. Was he not? Was he just himself? No, it was just him being. It was just, that's how Flavor is. Oh my gosh! And he had his clock and I said, he can't be late for the flight.
Starting point is 00:33:59 He's got a clock on. And so they got him on the plane and to this day I can text him and say, who saved your life? And you did. But what was great about it is when he came on the plane, everyone went nuts. I mean, I'm not kidding you. He'd run for president. People were like screaming. It was just, they love him. And so we became really great friends and he came to the show. And every time he comes to the show, I'll say, all right, this is cool. Flavor Flav's here.
Starting point is 00:34:28 And I'm telling you, they lose their mind. Oh, yeah. I used to have a joke where I'd say, back to me. Because they literally just won't stop looking. It's like Flavor Flav. I'd say, they're going to go back to my show. Because he's so larger than life. He's so larger than life.
Starting point is 00:34:40 And people love him. And, of course, he's Flavor Flav. And he seems humble down there. I think he's someone that there like you saw in his real life he's a really smart guy he's very smart he plays this character like he's like you know but he's he's he knows exactly what time it is he's smart does he still wear the big clocks oh yeah he's in when i did the when i did the roast with him on uh the flavor flavor roast on comedy central or yeah comedy central um that was that was so much fun because it was like we had snoop dog and we had everybody in fact my opening line was snoop dog's here he doesn't know it but he's here and he never looked like he's
Starting point is 00:35:15 president dog is here he doesn't know it my god you can't like hi just walking by his dressing room but um actually oh yeah okay so i have these i said i like a contact literally and uh i had all these props and so i said these are all the clocks i made for so i said you're old now so i made it like a grandfather clock and i made all these i made it like a sundial one i forget what they were but when it was it killed and was over of course he's like i gotta i said you can have these in but i had this this bus um you might have seen this in the show but i don't said you can have these in the but i had this this bus um you might have seen this in the show but i don't know if i still have in the show it was a bus that that would smoke
Starting point is 00:35:49 would come out of it i would say it's used to be willie nelson's bus it would be snoop dogs but whoever bus it was at the time it was high um and it would always get this big laugh so i do it on the show i said you know snoops here this isg's bus. And smoke comes willing out of the bus. So the show's over. I can't find any of my props. I look and Flavor Flav's kids have taken the props. So I said, you can have those. I made them for you. I'm not going to use them.
Starting point is 00:36:13 Wow. But where'd the bus go? And they said, Snoop took that one. Oh, my God. I said, no. So I had to go to Snoop's dressing room. I said, hey, I got it. Hey, he's like, hey, man.
Starting point is 00:36:21 That was great. Love the bus. And I said, oh, I can't let you take it, though, because I got the, you know, the fogger that went in it was like, you know, five grand. Oh, yeah. So I said, yeah. He said, well, Flavor got his clocks, man. Why can't I have my bus?
Starting point is 00:36:35 And I said, because the clocks, you know, the fogger is like five grand. He said, I'll just, you know, it's cool, man. I'll just take it. I said, no, I need the bus back. I felt so bad taking the bus back from Snoop Dogg. Oh, my gosh. I said, no, I really have to. No, but know, it's cool, man. I'll just take it. I said, no, I need the bus back. I felt so bad taking the bus back from Snoop Dogg. Oh, my gosh. I said, no, I really have to. No, but no, let's take it, man.
Starting point is 00:36:49 I said, no, I got to. So I felt bad. I said, Snoop Dogg, I'm going to make you a bus. I will make you a bus. Did you? No, I need to make him a bus. Is it really $5,000 for a bus? It was like a little mini fogger.
Starting point is 00:36:59 Yeah, it was very. Oh, my gosh. Yeah, the bus was $3, but the fogger was like, yeah. I love that these celebrities want to take your props. It's everything. It was just funny that he just, they just, it was very... Oh, my gosh. Yeah, the bus was $3, but the fogger was like, yeah. I love that these celebrities want to take your props. It's everything. It was just funny that they just, it would disappear. And I said, oh, I got to find that bus. And then he was in his room.
Starting point is 00:37:13 I felt so bad. He's like, no, man, it's good. I'm going to take it. I said, no. I would have just been like, take it. You can't take it. I'll take a hit of your... You got to give me my bus back.
Starting point is 00:37:22 Oh, my gosh. You're brave. I'd be scared. I'd be like, just take it. Have it. Yeah, well, no, I was good'd be scared. I'd be like, just take it, have it. Yeah, well, I, no, I was good. Trust me, I was, I was. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:37:28 And he wasn't by himself. Right, right. So it was like Snoop and his doggies. So I was like, hi, everybody. I gotta take the bus back. Does he ever come to your show? I don't think he's been in my live show. I mean, Flavio's been a thousand times.
Starting point is 00:37:42 I'm not sure if he is, but I know, you know, I see him, Snoop. He's always, hey, what's up, Karen? He's a very nice guy as well. Oh, my gosh. Smart guy, too. When does fast grocery delivery through Instacart matter most? When your famous grainy mustard potato salad isn't so famous without the grainy mustard. When the barbecue's lit, but there's nothing to grill.
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Starting point is 00:38:27 Like that woman over there with the Italian leather handbag. Is that from Winners? Ooh, or that beautiful silk skirt. Did she pay full price? Or those suede sneakers? Or that luggage? Or that trench? Those jeans, that jacket, those heels.
Starting point is 00:38:41 Is anyone paying full price for anything? Stop wondering, start winning. Winners paying full price for anything? Stop wondering. Start winning. Winners, find fabulous for less. You know everybody. Well, I've been in this 38 years, so you don't know if I know everybody. I kind of get to see, you know. Talk to everyone.
Starting point is 00:38:56 Yeah, you see kind of people. But when I lived in L.A., you know, back in the day, you'd see everybody. You kind of forget that you're in L.A. You know, you would go to Starbucks, and you're like, oh, my God like oh my god looks like Jack Nicholson like that is Jack Nicholson oh that's right I'm in LA like you don't even think about it you're like oh yeah that's right that is Jack Nicholson I'm in LA which is cool that's why you moved to LA right you want to see the celebrities yeah you go get go get a coffee I remember one time I was in Palisades and I pull up and parked and went ice cream that I was walking to the ice cream store and I remember one time I was in Palisades and I pulled up and parked and went ice cream.
Starting point is 00:39:27 I was walking to the ice cream store and I look and I'm like, that looks just like, oh, yeah, it is Cher. Oh, my gosh. I'm in Pasales. You know, you just kind of, hi. You know, how you doing? But you forget. Like, feel excited. Like, I'm not going to bother.
Starting point is 00:39:40 We're in L.A. Yeah, yeah. She was in, like, Utah. I said, listen, you don't mind me, but we're in – Utah's got some celebrities. Yeah, they do. Mitt Romney. Mitt Romney.
Starting point is 00:39:50 I was on a plane with him. You were on a plane with everybody. Was that as exciting as the viral plane lady? No, nothing's better than the viral plane lady. So Mitt Romney, you were on a plane. Did you talk to him? Oh, no. He sat right next to me.
Starting point is 00:40:01 He flew commercial? Yeah, he's running for president. He sat right next to me. And this's great. Again, I'm late for the plane, but I wasn't because I was at the bar. I was on a connection. And I was the last guy to get on the plane. And as I get on, he's sitting on the aisle and I'm by the window.
Starting point is 00:40:19 So I do the whole like there. And he's like, okay. And he gets up and unclicks. And he gets up and he's dressed to the nines. I mean, it's more coiffed. And I've never – he smelled like a barbershop. Like he just – like they were cutting his hair while I was sitting there. And I sit down and I go to put my seatbelt on.
Starting point is 00:40:39 And I said, thank you. And he says, oh, yeah. And he says, hey. And he says, a connection. I said, yeah. So I said, sorry, it was a late, hey. And he says, connection. I said, yeah. So I said, sorry, it was a late connection. I wasn't at the bar. And then I said, by the way, I would have had shoes on if I knew I was going to sit next to you.
Starting point is 00:40:54 Because I had like flip flops or something. And my toenails were painted. And he said, no, I would expect you, if you actually had shoes on, I would expect, that would be weird. I would expect that you would be just how you are. So he knew who I was. Wow. And he knew who I am. He says, yeah, I would expect you, if you actually had shoes, I would expect, that would be weird. I would expect that you would be just how you are. So he knew who I was. Wow. He knew who I am. He says, yeah, caretop.
Starting point is 00:41:09 And I said, oh, wow. And he said, he said, you could have been nicer. And I said, I said, well, this is great. And what are you doing in Vegas? He says, I have to do a speech. He was running for, it was right before he got Secret Service. So he said, I'm going to do a speech. And I said, you know, Joe, you need help. No, I don't need help. I said,
Starting point is 00:41:28 you need help. You write some jokes, pops for him. And then I remember we were taxing. And I remember, you know, my literally flip-flops and shorts and a tank top. I'm like, I'm an idiot sitting next to Mitt Romney. He's in a suit. And I mean, just he's got his readers on and he's reading like the Wall Street Journal. And I remember I was looking at like a, you know, people magazine and I said, even what you're reading is smarter than what I'm reading. Look at this. You have like all black and white, his mind's all colors and pictures. Well, he is a, yeah, he's running for president.
Starting point is 00:41:55 Yeah. And, and, and he said, well, no, again, I wouldn't expect anything else. So we're, we fly, we, we land. And again, he says to me, me, do I have your vote? Nope. And I said, no, I don't. I said, well, that depends. And I've forgotten how I had said something like, I don't know.
Starting point is 00:42:14 No, he said, before we took off, he said, do I have your vote? And I said, we'll see how the flight goes. And we land. When we land, I'll let you know. Oh, okay. I'll let you know. So we land, and then he looks over, and he's like, so, did I get your vote? I think, of course, I said, yeah, of course you have my vote, because what are you going to say?
Starting point is 00:42:32 Yeah. But he was very nice and very cordial. And it was weird, because people, not one person, and he was in the height of running for president of the United States. That's odd. And no one was bothering him. He walked right in front of him. He got off the plane, he walked to baggage claim, and there was a guy waiting for odd. And no one was bothering him. He walked right in front of him. He got off the plane. He walked to baggage claim and there was a guy waiting for him. But no one
Starting point is 00:42:48 stopped him. No one said, oh, are you Mitt Romney? And everyone was like, Carrot Top, Carrot Top. No, we know Mitt Romney. I'm like, that's Mitt Romney. But that's the marketing genius of you because I don't know who Mitt Romney is. I just kind of knew because I just you know, I'm a little savvy on watching the news, but I looked over and I said, that's
Starting point is 00:43:03 Mitt Romney. I mean, you know, definitely Mitt Romney. Oh, my gosh. So you do keep up with, like, pop culture? Because you do, like, Barbie jokes and stuff like that. I was like, oh, do you go and watch the Barbie movie? Like, is that, like, how are you so quick and up to date with it? Well, part of my job is that to do, like, I call it homework. You kind of sometimes have to do that.
Starting point is 00:43:20 Right. You know, why are you at the Barbie movie? It's for work. Did you go? I'm doing research. Okay? No, I've not seen it yet. I saw the cup and the thing. I've not seen it yet, but
Starting point is 00:43:31 I kept saying, you know what? We put it in the show. Right. So you do a joke about it, but you haven't seen it. Yeah. I did the joke about it, and then people said it was great, so I was going to go, but then I thought, you know what I'll do? I'll watch it next time. So my plan was when I went to Florida last last week to watch it and i didn't i forgot to watch it i slept the whole flight but i my and my intentions are to still see it so yeah
Starting point is 00:43:53 but i had all the jokes you know i had i did i did all the jokes i feel bad how do you do jokes on something you haven't seen i know it's kind of like i did a thing on my instagram last week when i was talking about rant ranting about people. At the end, I was wearing a Yellowstone shirt from the show Yellowstone. And I remember it just happened. So I just, I added it on my own. I didn't even, it just was in my brain. I said, people that back in is the most annoying thing. What is this new, it's like a new trend, people, when you pull into a parking lot, you have to back in. What happened to just pulling into a spot? And then you have to back it then. So why are you back? Are you robbing the place?
Starting point is 00:44:26 Just park. And I said, you pull out. Then you just pull out. And I said, like you learn when you're a kid, you pull out. And then people are like. And then I said, it's things like that that annoy me, like people that wear Yellowstone shirts that have never seen the show. And so because this guy said, oh, dude, I love your shirt. It's a great show, right? And I said, I've never seen it. And you're wearing a Yellowstone shirts that have never seen the show. Oh. And so, because this guy said, oh, dude, I love your shirt.
Starting point is 00:44:46 It's a great show, right? And I said, I've never seen it. Wait, you never saw it? And you're wearing a Yellowstone shirt. I said, I know. I'm going to get to it. Were you going to pay to wear it? No, I just like the little logo.
Starting point is 00:44:55 It's like a little yellow Y. And I know it's going to be a great show because I love Kevin Costner and I love the idea of a ranch. So it's going to be amazing. But I really have never seen one episode of it yet. Do you hate when people, because you're such a big band fan, when they wear shirts and Nirvana and they have no idea who Nirvana is.
Starting point is 00:45:09 Yes, I do hate that. Oh, so you are the poser though with the Yellowstone. That time I was. I was that guy. But you don't like it when people do it with bands. No, that's why I put it in my Instagram. I made fun of myself. People that wear shirts they've never seen. So I'm making fun of myself in that. But yes, I do. I do that all the time to people. I'll be at the show and I'll see a guy in a Dallas Cowboy shirt. So I said, oh, big Cowboy fan. He's like seen. So I'm making fun of myself in that. But yes, I do. It's kind of, I do that all the time to people.
Starting point is 00:45:25 I'll be at the show and I'll see a guy in a Dallas Cowboy shirt. So I said, oh, big Cowboy fan. He's like, no, I'm not a Cowboy fan. I said, you're wearing a Dallas Cowboy shirt. They just like the vibe, kind of like you. Yeah, that's what I did with the yellow shirt. But I do have intentions of, I'm sure I will love that show. People are raving about it.
Starting point is 00:45:41 And again, Kevin Costner is probably, you know, he's never done anything bad. So it would be a good show. Yeah. No, that's true. I feel like Kevin Costner, I feel like I haven't seen him in a long time. But then you hear about like a divorce and all the personal. That's the thing. Like your personal life doesn't really get out there.
Starting point is 00:45:54 Like Kevin Costner is going through like this divorce. It's like messy. His wife wants all this money. His wife is marrying me. I don't want to talk about it. Oh, my God. Wait, have you been married? Do you ever talk about it?
Starting point is 00:46:01 You've never talked about it? No, I've never been married. No. But you don't talk about your personal life just in general, right? No, no one cares about my personal life. Oh, everyone does. That's why in politics they don't care either. I don't talk about, you know, I do my Trump thing, you know, I do my little, you know,
Starting point is 00:46:13 that's it. But that's, you know, I don't, but I don't go much further than that. Yeah. And then I do my Biden. So I make fun of both sides. And then at the end of the show, people always say to me, like, you're smooth, you're tricky. So they don't know what you are yeah I say you know what there's no reason to ruin people's
Starting point is 00:46:30 comedy night out with unless you're going to see someone that's actually political you know Bill Maher if you go see Bill Maher he's actually right down now I saw him not long ago he does exactly what I well what I do.
Starting point is 00:46:45 I just do both sides and I don't address that. What he does, he rips on both sides. So when you leave, you really don't know who he wants. Oh, interesting. He'll just go on Trump for like 15 minutes, how horrible he is. And then he'll go off on how bad the – literally. And the whole crowd's like, well, then what? What side are you?
Starting point is 00:47:05 But he does a whole, you know, because he's political humor. Back to the plane situation, the lady on the plane. You know you've done interviews about this, but you were actually on the flight where the lady did not know if the person was real. I feel like this is so viral on TikTok, so I have to ask you because you are firsthand account. And there's not a ton of clips because I was trying to find the clips of you talking about it.
Starting point is 00:47:22 And it's all these like robots, like typing what you said about it, but not actually you talking about it. I talked about it on Fox News. Yeah. So the lady, you were first class, which by the way is amazing too. I would think you're private jet because you're so like popular and like people coming up to you all the time. Like I'm surprised you like commercial. Yeah. Okay.
Starting point is 00:47:41 So you were there. You saw her get off. Were you like any interaction with her? No. No one did. I mean, she just went nuts and I was looking at her like everybody was. And I just, I, I, you know, when it all happened, I thought it was a couple, you know. A fighting. Yeah. Because what she was saying made, made it sound like, oh, there's a date that went bad, you know. A date on the plane? A guy, No. A guy took her on a vacation to Orlando, wherever we were. Right. Where were we?
Starting point is 00:48:08 Coming from. Here? I don't know. I don't remember now where I was coming from. Vegas. Vegas to Dallas, Dallas to Orlando. So we go Vegas to Dallas. And then we're going, right, we got off from Vegas, Dallas, and then we're going from Dallas
Starting point is 00:48:24 to Orlando. And that's when she was on that flight, not the first one. And, yeah, she said, yeah, the guy wasn't real. And this guy is not real, da-da-da-da, and whatever, just whatever. She really didn't say anything like, you're all going to die. She said, you guys, you know, he's not real, and I'm not going to get on this flight, and I'm leaving. So I'm like, I'm waiting for the guy to walk by with all the bags, like, sorry, everybody. Right. I effed up, you know.
Starting point is 00:48:53 I didn't take her to the nicest hotel. He wasn't real. And then I kept looking back, and there was nobody. So I'm like, what is she talking? And everybody's like, what is she? I said, I don't know. And we still didn't know until. It became viral.
Starting point is 00:49:04 Yeah. No one knew. I don't know what she was talking about. And then we got off, someone walked over and said to me, because we're all waiting around. He said, you want to see the video of her? We took it. I said, oh my God, yeah, let me see that. So she showed it to me. I said, oh my God, can you send me that? It was just some random lady. I said, she said, yeah, I want to post it. So I, cause it's funny. Cause I was, I wasn't posting it for, for any of the reasons just to say, I was going to make the fireworks show in Orlando, but I'm not now because this lady went nuts. It wasn't a viral thing. It was just, it was real time. It hadn't even happened yet. So I put it on my thing and I just said, I said, this crazy lady went nuts and so
Starting point is 00:49:46 I'm not going to make the fireworks. That's it. Then two days later, it was a big news story. And then three days later, then you got everyone calling, you know, me, do you want to do an interview? And I said, well, I don't even know what I'm going to, what do I have to say to add to it? Right. But they said, no, we want to get – like you just said, first-hand of someone that actually witnessed it. I said, well, I'll tell you, but it's not that exciting. So I went on and said, what happened? I said, what you saw. I mean, it really wasn't more than that.
Starting point is 00:50:15 We just all stood and no one got mad. No one was scared. You weren't scared about it? No one was scared because we – she just kept saying, that guy's not real. And we're like, okay, she's drunk. She's on meds. You know, something you don't think – she saying, that guy's not real. And we're like, okay, she's drunk. She's on meds. You know, something. You don't think.
Starting point is 00:50:28 She didn't say, there's a bomb. She didn't say anything like that. Right, right. But we had to get off the plane because they had to bomb check the plane because of what she was saying. Oh, so you were delayed and stuff. Oh, five hours, yeah. We sat in Dallas. And if you've been in Dallas, you don't want to sit five hours in Dallas.
Starting point is 00:50:43 What did you do? Well, this funny thing. Normally, I'd go to a TGI Fridays and get bombed. The best. That's all they have there. They have a TGI Fridays. Yeah. Every time you go to Dallas, where do you go?
Starting point is 00:50:53 You go to TGI Fridays. So good at the airport. Or you go to the, yeah, that's where you go. You go to TGI Fridays. That's all you have. Not good on a Thursday. But you go to TJ Friday. But when we got off the plane for this delay, there was nothing near our gate. And they kept saying, no one leave.
Starting point is 00:51:13 They kept saying, no one leave because we're going to get ready to board again. So we all just stood there. And then an hour turned to two and to three and four. And then finally we were like, can we all go get like a drink or a snack? People were going to get food and stuff. But if they had said we were going to be delayed five hours, we would have all had a little more fun with it. But we all just sat there and waited and waited and waited. And then she
Starting point is 00:51:29 tried to get back on the plane. They just were like, no. You didn't step in? Everyone was talking. No, no, no. I was already on the plane. We were on. Everyone that was coming on, they were all saying it. And I'm like, she's still here? And they said, yeah. And I said, you're going to be kidding me. So then people were getting a little frightened. And the guy came on with? And they said, yeah. And I said, you're gonna be kidding me. So then people were getting a little frightened.
Starting point is 00:51:46 And the guy came on with American Airlines and said, sorry about everything that's happened. The woman is not getting on this plane again. So everybody applauded because she was trying to get back on the plane. I didn't know that part of it. That's so, okay. So she wasn't like. No, she didn't leave.
Starting point is 00:52:01 She wanted to come back on. Oh my gosh. So we all were like, what? And then they said, she's not. So then we all, you know, we took off and landed in Orlando 18 hours later. Oh, my. You spend so much of your life in an airport. That's why you need carrot air.
Starting point is 00:52:16 You just need to. Carrot air. Exactly. Yeah. Because then you don't have to deal with all this stuff. Then they'll pay for the, well, the covering will pay for the carrot air. Yeah. I'm surprised you haven't done more.
Starting point is 00:52:24 I mean, you don't need the money, but you just are so branded. No, I need the money. No, you don't. You always need the money. There's so much carrot stuff you could do. Show me the money. You do all your own logos too, right? I do, yes.
Starting point is 00:52:35 We're having a little fun campaign right now with my fans because we wanted to see what I wanted to see. Because people always say that you've drawn logos all the years, which I have. And so I thought one day after the show, I thought, you know what would be fun is do a contest and see. I know what it started with. I'm sorry. The reason it started is because I was reading about the Rolling Stones, and they said, did Andy Warhol made the tongue logo? He didn't. Oh, really? You always see it in that Warhol made the tongue logo? He didn't.
Starting point is 00:53:07 Oh, really? You always see it in that Warhol style. He didn't. But that's what everyone thought. So I read about it that he didn't. A fan came up with it. So I thought, oh, that's amazing. So some fan came up with the idea of a tongue. And the whole band at first were like, a tongue doesn't make any sense.
Starting point is 00:53:24 Right. Which is amazing now looking back. Of course, they are too. Yeah. Is that it's the most recognizable logo in the world. But, you know, that's what's fun about it. Even the Stones were like, this is weak. And then they went with it.
Starting point is 00:53:36 Then, of course, it's changed over the years. And maybe Andy Warhol had come in and maybe fixed it and did some other things to it. But a fan originally came up with the idea of a tongue. And so I thought, oh, maybe I'll get my fans to kind of come up with something for me that's just, it might shock me if they come up with something that's completely, you know, not something I'm thinking of. Something so different. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:53:54 So the people have been submitting some submissions and stuff and some logos. And so we'll see if there's something at the end. Yeah. Some, just for fun and content, they get to come to Vegas and, you know. Oh my gosh. You're going to like fly them there. Yeah. We'll fly them there. But that to come to Vegas and, you know. Oh, my gosh. You're going to, like, fly them there? Yeah, we'll fly them there. But that lady will be on the plane with them,
Starting point is 00:54:09 the crazy lady. You have to come. When we get your private jet, you can fly people out more often. Yeah. And the contest winners. Yeah, we'll hope and see when something comes out of it.
Starting point is 00:54:16 So it was just a fun idea. After I thought about the stones, I thought, oh, it might be cool. Maybe someone will come up with some thing that I never thought of. Oh, yeah. Your logos are so sick. Like, I've got, like, every T-shirt ever that I go to your store.
Starting point is 00:54:26 It's so good. Oh, this is it. The day you finally ask for that big promotion. You're in front of your mirror with your Starbucks coffee. Be confident. Assertive. Remember eye contact. But also, remember to blink.
Starting point is 00:54:39 Smile. But not too much. That's weird. What if you aren't any good at your job? What if they dim out you instead? Okay. Don't be silly. You're much. That's weird. What if you aren't any good at your job? What if they dim out you instead? Okay, don't be silly. You're smart. You're driven. You're gonna be late if you keep talking to the mirror. This promotion is yours. Go get them. Starbucks. It's never just coffee. The White Chocolate Macadamia Cream Cold Brew from Starbucks is made just the way you like it.
Starting point is 00:55:03 Handcrafted cold foam topped with toasted cookie crumble. It's a sweet summer twist on iced coffee. Your cold brew is ready at Starbucks. Have you ever gotten starstruck? Have you met like the Rolling Stones or anything like that? Oh yeah. Do you ever get starstruck? No, I answer to both those. I'm starstruck and I've met the Rolling Stones. I am still starstruck. I'm always, I'm one of those guys and people always say that to me like,, dude, haven't you met? Yeah, I've met a lot of people, but you still are like, oh, that's cool. It's just something.
Starting point is 00:55:32 It's not like, but starstruck, you know, it's different how you use the word. Like, if people literally go, like, I don't, like, go crazy, lose my breath. But I go, I'm like, that's kind of cool. It's like, you know, it's kind of cool. The band Queen came to my show and I had met Roger and Brian, but the fact they walked back into my dressing room, you know, it was just, you know, security's like, we're going to go grab Queen and bring him in. And I was like, okay, this is kind of cool.
Starting point is 00:56:04 And yeah, so, and even though I had already met them, it was just them coming back. Well, before I'd met them, they'd come to the show. Brian May did. I mean, Roger Taylor. And my friend says, Roger Taylor is here and he wants to come back and say hi. And I'm like, Roger Taylor?
Starting point is 00:56:21 How do I know if Roger Taylor is like, I don't know if Roger Taylor knows, like the drummer from Queen? They said, yeah. knows. Like, is that the drummer from Queen? They said, yeah. I'm like, oh, the drummer from Queen? They go, yeah. I'm like, is he here? And they said, he was at your show.
Starting point is 00:56:30 He wants to come back. Oh, my gosh. They brought him back. And yeah, no kidding. And I said, oh, my God. And we've been best friends ever since. I mean, literally. He's, again, the sweetest guy in the world.
Starting point is 00:56:40 Oh, my gosh. The sweetest people in the world. The most humble people in the world. And, you know, people always say, hey, if you're ever in London, Matt, you should stay at the house with me and the wife. And of course, you know, next thing I know, we're going to go to London. So my friend, I said, Roger, we're coming to London, just FYI, you know, whatever it was, you know, a month. Well, you must stay with us. And I'm like, you know, well, first of all, that's very sweet of you, but I'm not going to do that. Even if you said, stay with me,
Starting point is 00:57:04 I'm not going to state your... So we didn't, stay with me, I'm not going to state your. So we didn't, of course, but we did say we're going to be in London. And he met us for, you know, lunch and dinner. And then he took us to his house and his castle and showed us the studio with the Queen records and the drums and the thing. And it's just, it was surreal. And my girlfriend at the time was just pretty funny. We go and she's kind of sick. We went to Stonehenge and she was not feeling well.
Starting point is 00:57:30 And I said, well, we have to go to Roger's house because, you know, cannot go to not go. Right. They're expecting us, you know, for lunch and they probably have a castle. And she's like, they don't have a stupid castle. I said, I bet they do, right? So we have this stupid bet together. It's going to be a castle. I mean, you do know, it's queen. Sure, have don't have a stupid castle. I said, I bet they do, right? So we have this stupid bet together. It's going to be a castle. I mean, you do know.
Starting point is 00:57:46 It's queen. Sure, have a castle. It's queen. But she doesn't understand, like, it's queen. You're like, it's royalty. You have stones and queen. And David Bowie, Elton John, these are like, they have castles. So sure enough, on the phone, I said, hey, Scott.
Starting point is 00:58:00 And he said, yeah, where are you? I said, we're just getting off the interstate now. He says, oh, just go to the rock. Just take a right. And then our gate's there. So I'm literally, I can see it before I even get off the interstate. I said, is it like a, it looks like Downton Abbey? A little.
Starting point is 00:58:18 I said, is it like Downton Abbey looking? He goes, yes, it's the gates. And I said, okay, we're at the front gate. So they open it. And she's like, you've got to kidding me. I said, it's Queen. Wow. So even to this day, she'll say.
Starting point is 00:58:29 So this is great. So we get in the castle. And she's not filming. They make her tea. They have a chef make us this most incredible lunch. It was just incredible. And then he says, I know you've got about the city. Do you want to see the studio, though, before we go?
Starting point is 00:58:47 By the way, the worst English accent in the world is what I'm doing right now. That was actually really good. Do you want to see the studio right now? From Liverpool. So I said, yes, of course. I mean, I look at her, and she's sick, though. She says, we have to. So we take us upstairs. This whole thing of just gold records, gold records, just everything, right?
Starting point is 00:59:03 And the whole studio upstairs is a whole floor of a castle, and it's got every drum set from every tour. I mean, literally set up on stages with the tour, like Queen Live, Live Aid. I mean, and you just almost just want to cry. And so I'm like, Roger, this is amazing. Yeah, this is the one from, and he's playing drums for, I don't know, 60 years now. He's like, what's that? I'm like, this is the, you know.
Starting point is 00:59:34 And Amanda, if you're watching this, Amanda, she says, oh, my God, you must really like drums. Oh. No, I'm not making this up. Oh. And I like a like the quickest like what the fuck right i'm like did this look at her and she's like what i'm like he's the fucking drummer and then roger is a little bit deaf so he says what's that again i said she loves your drums oh yeah this one's from killer's live oh my god good save yeah so it couldn't have been again couldn't have been sweeter again, couldn't have been
Starting point is 01:00:05 sweeter, nicer. And then on the way down the stairwell, I said, do you ever stop and look at these? And he says, yeah, yeah, yeah. I said, no, do you ever just like stop? I know you don't, like no one does, but one day when you come down and you should just stop and kind of look at this wall. It's not just a wall. It's a whole, it goes on for walls and walls. You should stop and just kind of look at it and kind of, you know, say, you know, fuck, man. And he says, I said, all the, what's your favorite one? He says, I don't know if I have a favorite one. I said, well, this album, this one here is Killers Live.
Starting point is 01:00:43 It was, it's like dark green and it's a gold album on a dark. So I said, that album like changed my life, that one. He says, yeah, that one. I said, yeah. He said, that was a good album. And I said, yeah. So they meet us for dinner that night at the hotel we're staying at in London. And we were at the bar and I see Roger and his wife walk in and it was my birthday.
Starting point is 01:01:06 And I said, would you get me anything? And it's this, you know, square thing. And I'm like. Oh, no. If that's what I think it is. And I don't think it's that. I think, you know, he's got me something stupid. It's definitely the shape of an album.
Starting point is 01:01:24 Right. So I'm like, but it's heavier than an album. So I said, oh, God, what did you get me? He didn't get me anything. You see, I said, you know, I said something. I said, shoes. You know, I made some kind of joke. He laughs and he says, no, no, open it up, open it up.
Starting point is 01:01:37 So I go to open it up and it's that fucking album off his wall. Oh, no. Yeah. Signed from him saying, happy birthday, Scott Rodger. Oh, no. Yeah, signed from him. It's a happy birthday, Scott Roger. Oh, my gosh. And it's the most prized possession that I have. It's on the roof of my house. I keep it.
Starting point is 01:01:52 But no, it's in a very special place. A vault. It's in a vault in a very special place. And every time I think of that, I'm like, what a cool dude, right? He brings the, I mean, it just, and I would – it wasn't my intention. I was like, that's the greatest – that's my favorite one of 5,000 of them in here because it changed my life. And now I have it hanging. Oh, my gosh.
Starting point is 01:02:18 What a cool – that has to be like the biggest moment probably, right? That's the biggest moment ever. That's insane. You know, Mick Jagger never gave me an album, but I, I mean, I met him and when I met him, it was because it's funny too, because they're all, they're all kind of interesting, funny because it's just show busy rock and roll. So I was in sync with, you know, friends of mine because I grew up in Orlando. So of course, the Backstreet Boys in sync, I've known since before they were in sync.
Starting point is 01:02:41 T? Yeah. Little kids. So they're also the nice people. So their height of their, I mean, the height. They said, you want to go with us to the MTV Music Awards and be our guest? And we don't have a seat for you, but you can sit in our dressing room. So I said, fuck yeah.
Starting point is 01:02:57 So I go and I, they've done a lot for me, the NSYNC guys. No way. For people meeting, yeah. I got to meet Bill Clinton because of that. Oh my gosh! It was great. Who would have thought? It would have been NSYNC. Bill Clinton loved NSYNC.
Starting point is 01:03:15 I'm in their dressing room. There's all the people that are on the show. Bono and all these different people. The dressing rooms are all in this area. But I'm in their room and I'm not going to be that guy and wander. They're going to go and I'm going to sit and just sit there. And they said, you can go to the lobby and watch.
Starting point is 01:03:36 There's a bar in the lobby you can sit at, which is perfect. I don't want to sit with all the people. I want to sit in the bar. So I got there and Jon Bon Jovi's sitting at the bar with me by himself watching thing. Seriously. Wow. Again, a great guy. Just coolest guy.
Starting point is 01:03:50 God, you know everyone. Wait, this is better. So I go back to go back to my NSYNC's dressing room to grab something. I don't know if they had like snacks or something in there. So I went to grab a little bag of pretzels and all of a sudden this security guard's like, you have to stay. I need to close this door real quick. And I'm like, oh, I'm just going out.
Starting point is 01:04:08 He said, you can't leave. Just for a minute. I'm like, okay. So he closes the door. A minute goes, maybe 30 seconds, goodbye. He opens it back up. He goes, I'm so sorry. You can go wherever you want to go now.
Starting point is 01:04:19 I said, isn't the president here? And he said, yeah. And I said, that's fine. He probably is here. And he said, yeah. And I said, that's funny. He probably is here. And he said, it was Mick Jagger, right? So they brought him into his room. So I looked across. There was a door, but it was open the whole day.
Starting point is 01:04:34 Now it has Mick Jagger on it. So when I said, well, the president's here, he says, he's kind of like, yeah. And he's standing by the door. Now this is Mick Jagger. So I said, is Mick Jagger in there? He says, what's that? And he says, yeah. I said, what's that? And he says, yeah. I said, that's pretty cool.
Starting point is 01:04:47 He goes, yeah. So we just stand there. And it was only five seconds after they put him in his room. And this guy's standing there. He opens the door. And Mick Jagger walks up to me and says, is there a telly in your room? Oh, my gosh. And I said, no, because I was at the bar watching.
Starting point is 01:05:10 I said, no, there's no television in here. He said, why is it called the Music Television Awards? It's not a TV in the room. And I said, that's a great question. And he yelled at me and then walked back into his room, and I said, that was awesome. That was the exchange? Yeah, he yelled like, I don't know why,
Starting point is 01:05:30 but that's a great thing to ask. Why is it that music television works and it's not a TV? Did he know you? I don't think so. Oh my gosh. But I think he knows why because I was invited to perform for his daughter at her birthday party, so I think he must know who I am. And you didn't say yes? I didn't say yes. Not even for Mick Jagger's daughter?
Starting point is 01:05:45 No. I was frightened. It was going to be an apartment in New York. Oh, an apartment. An apartment room. No, in an apartment building room, just a hotel room. Oh. She was turning like 16, and it was going to be like eight girls, 16 years old, and
Starting point is 01:06:00 I literally said, I cannot do this. Yeah. Maybe. I turned in. Yeah, I cannot do this. I turned to him. My agent was here. He was laughing. Yep. Everyone I'm talking for days were like, dude, you're kidding, right? You're taking the gig.
Starting point is 01:06:15 I'm like, no, I'm not taking this gig. Why? I said, I will have a heart attack if I have to do this. I'm not doing it. I don't need the pressure to make 16-year-old six. And Mick Jagger's done. No. So anyway, I turned it down, but yeah, he's yelling at me. There's no TV.
Starting point is 01:06:29 It makes sense. Oh my gosh. Then I went back out and watched the whole thing with Bon Jovi, and I told him that Mick Jagger just yelled at me. What did he say? He said, you're not going to meet Mick Jagger? Oh my gosh. If I don't meet Mick Jagger, I said, well, go back there. He's back there. They probably know each other, I would think. Well, they probably do now. No, he said, I'd like to meet Mick Jagger. I said, well, he's back there. They probably know each other, I would think. Well, they probably do now. He said, no, he said, I'd like to meet Mick Jagger.
Starting point is 01:06:46 I said, well, he's back there. Oh, my God. They'll let you back. Oh, my God. Would you ever perform at Mick Jagger's wedding if he got married again? Mick Jagger's? Yeah. I don't.
Starting point is 01:06:54 You're just not a wedding person at all. I'm frightened to do anything that requires that much responsibility. Even Mick Jagger, you want it. He calls you personally. Yeah. Like when they do this, you want to perform at the White House or the President? No. No? I would have a heart attack on the way to it. Wait, you personally. Yeah, like when they do this, you want to perform at the White House or the President? No. No?
Starting point is 01:07:05 I would have a heart attack on the way to it. Wait, why? It's just too much. It's too nerve wracking. Can't do it. Even though you've done this for so many years and people are obsessed with you. There's certain gigs I always just, there's certain ones I just always have not done. Not that they would ever ask me to perform at the White House, but.
Starting point is 01:07:20 They haven't? No, I'm saying, you know, not, I said if they ever did. I don't think, it'd be funny, wouldn't it? Kara Top's up next. I could see it. But Bill Clinton was a huge fan. He said, I always liked all your jokes. And I said, oh, thank you. And he said, it was funny because I did a lot of Bill Clinton jokes. And I used to do, when my hair was really, really, really big, and big, big, big, just a fro, I used to say, I look like Chelsea Clinton on a bender. Oh, my God. And so, seriously.
Starting point is 01:07:51 And I remember Bill Clinton, he was shaking my hand. He says, I love your jokes. And he knew it because he said, I like the one you do with, it was like a tennis racket with the rear view mirror. I said, yeah. And he says, oh, is it great? He says, just no Chelsea jokes anymore. And I said, I will never do it ever. Oh, my gosh.
Starting point is 01:08:07 He said, all right, I'm a good target. She's not. I said, okay. Isn't that great? Oh, wow. Yeah, it was cool. Oh, my gosh. And he was just like, no Chelsea jokes.
Starting point is 01:08:15 I said, I won't ever again. He said, all right, I'm a target. It's good. Not her. Bill Clinton's like the coolest president probably for sure. He was pretty good. Very, very, very, very nice. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:08:24 And he was engaging and looking right at me and shaking my hand. Asked where I was from. He was pretty good. Very, very, very, very nice. Yeah. He was engaging and looking right at me and shaking my hand and asked where I was from. Oh my gosh. It was cool. It's cool because he goes to shows. I know he's been to like
Starting point is 01:08:32 different shows, like rock and roll shows and stuff like that. You just see him around and it's like, okay. He's a great guy. Are you excited for you two to be at the Sphere?
Starting point is 01:08:37 Yeah, they're coming, right? Are you going to see them? Do you get like VIP treatment? Well, you know what's unfortunate? As you know, when you have a show in Vegas every night, it'll probably be the same time.
Starting point is 01:08:47 Yeah, unless you do it on a Sunday. I don't know what they're – I didn't look to see, but I'm sure it's probably – it's going to be unreal. I mean, even during the daytime when you see it. The sphere is crazy. We were just there. It's amazing. Yeah, a couple weeks ago. We were supposed to see you.
Starting point is 01:09:01 You got sick. So second place is the sphere. You go – you're sick, you go to the Sphere. No, for real. We were so excited. We were like, oh, because the La Forte is a vibe, by the way. It's affordable. The Diablo next to your theater is so good.
Starting point is 01:09:15 The Mexican restaurant has the best nachos. They do have, they have great food there. So good. I miss the Blue Man group there, too, but. Yeah, they're there. They're still there? Yeah, they're still there. Blue Man's still there.
Starting point is 01:09:24 You and Blue Man are just Vegas. Well, Blue and Orange go great together. Well, I guess if you're like the Cleveland Cavaliers or something. I know. It's very carrot-coated.
Starting point is 01:09:33 Yeah, they're very nice people, too. They don't say anything, but they're very nice. They just... They seem shocked all the time. I know.
Starting point is 01:09:40 When you go to the airport in Vegas, it's you and Blue Man group on the security thing, which is iconic. Hopefully, you're getting residuals. You should get your care air by those residuals. I see that alone, right?
Starting point is 01:09:49 Because it's always- The airport security thing, you're right. One time I was at the airport in Vegas and I don't know how I didn't have my ID. I think it was like it was stolen or something. I don't remember. I remember I was at the airport and I said, I don't have my ID. And not even, I mean, passport, nothing. And I'm like, oh my said, I don't have my ID. And not even, I mean, passport, nothing. And I'm like, oh, my God, I didn't bring my ID.
Starting point is 01:10:09 And I'm literally at the thing. And the guy's like, you know, ID. And I said, I don't have my ID. And they're like, well, you're going to have to go to the. And I said, I'm on the video. No way. No, I just brought a guy. What a flex.
Starting point is 01:10:24 No, the guy's like, what's that? I said, I'm on the video, though.. No, I just want to go. What a flex. No. The guy's like, what's that? I said, I'm on the video, though. That's me right there. And he goes, where? And I said, it comes on a loop. Just a second. So I stood there. I did.
Starting point is 01:10:33 I moved over for like a second. It went by a loop again. I said, ready? And right after the magician guy, I said, there, that's me. He goes, oh, yeah, I see you every day. You still got to go get an idea. No way. But I'm on the video. He said, I can't let, dude. At the oh, yeah, I see you every day. You still got to go get an idea. No way. But I'm on the video.
Starting point is 01:10:46 You see, I can't let, dude. At the airport. Yeah, I got to go back. I had to go all the way back and explain. And they had to fill all this paperwork out to get it. Oh, my gosh. Which it makes sense. You shouldn't be able to get the, even if you're on the video.
Starting point is 01:10:56 But it was kind of my way of, I got a way. Me. That's you. Usually if they looked you up and Googled you, it would be very easy. Yeah, no, it's just it's airport, so I guess I can see how. But it's like the old commercials they used to do for Visa. Those were great. And that happens to me all the time. What were those? The Visa commercials where they'd
Starting point is 01:11:12 say, it would be the first one was Jerry Seinfeld. It was for American Express, sorry. Oh, yes. So Jerry Seinfeld would walk up and say, hi, I need to get two things. And they'd say, oh, great, here you go. I need to see an idea with your thing. He's like, I'm Jerry Seinfeld. So what they would say, oh, great. Here you go. I need to see an ID with your thing. He's like, I'm Jerry Seinfeld.
Starting point is 01:11:31 So they would say, oh, my God, I'm a big fan first in the ad. And then they'd say, I need to see your ID. So that was the gag. And they would do it, all the celebrities. And then it would always happen to me, no matter what. They said, oh, my God, Carrot Top. I've seen your show like 20 times. Oh, cool. And I'd give them the card.
Starting point is 01:11:43 I need to see your ID. I'm like, you just said you were a fan. I know. They still have to, you know, for security, they have, Carrot Top. I've seen your show like 20 times. Oh, cool. And I give them the card. I need to see your ID. I'm like, you just said you were famous. I know. They still have to, you know, for security, they have to show the camera. But it was just like, this is just like the American Express commercial. It's like right out of the same exact thing. What's the coolest thing being a celebrity, being like at your level has gotten you? Like what's the –
Starting point is 01:11:58 Well, you know, I think – Just meeting your heroes. Meeting people's seats. And yeah, heroes, of course, that's probably, you know, or going, like you just said, going to a concert kind of thing. Years ago, again, I was dating this girl that worked for the agency that I worked for. And we went to a concert. And it was a Toby Keith concert. And it was at the Staples Center.
Starting point is 01:12:23 And I, this is great. I heard that. My buddy remembers this. So I would get, this is so great. So I, you know, Toby Keith and I have been friends for, I've been in his videos where we're like, I would say, you know, I would say best friends, but I could call him right now and he'd be like, what's up? So I would go and she works for the agency that I work, that, you know, we both work,
Starting point is 01:12:44 that I, she works for it. They book me and whatever. We get to the Staples Center. And we're, you know, where are we going? And she's like, I don't know. The ticket's in front. I asked the guy, you know, where are we going? He points to this, like, I'm not making this up, like some section where the fucking, I don't even know.
Starting point is 01:13:01 I don't even think birds were up in this section. It was just, you know what I mean? It wasn't even oxygen where she, where the guy pointed. And I said, where? And the guy said that. And I said, I said, what the, so I'm not, so I, I'm like, grab her. And I'm so mad. I'm like, the only reason you're in show business is to get fucking good seats to a show. And I know the guy, we should be on his bus. So she's like, okay, whatever, then you get us. And I said, okay. So I said to the guy, hi. And he goes, oh, Carrot Top, come on. And I, you know, Staples sent it. Come on in. I said, where's Toby's bus at? Right down there. So I walked down. I said, hey, where's Toby's? Right, just go through
Starting point is 01:13:38 that door. Guy's standing there. Oh, Carrot Top. And I said, yeah, Toby's on here. Come on. It's like 10 minutes later, we're literally having a conversation with Toby on his bus. And I said, this is how you go to a concert. I'm a little spoiled, but no, but I also knew him. It's not how I would go to a Rolling Stones concert. I wouldn't be on their bus. But I would probably have seats in the front, somewhere in the pit area or somewhere, some on the side. But I wouldn't be in the nosebleeds for someone I know.
Starting point is 01:14:08 That's so funny. So I was kind of like, I'll never forget that. And she won't either. She's like, oh my gosh, you're right. All right. Okay. I get it. Next time you book it.
Starting point is 01:14:16 I said, no, next time just think. You know the guy. Right. Toby Keith is like an icon. He's also very iconic. Great guy. Great guy. And that's a random friendship for you.
Starting point is 01:14:25 You're friends with like the most. It is. I know. I have. I know. From Mitt Romney to. Oh, my gosh. From Mitt Romney to Toby Keith.
Starting point is 01:14:32 Yeah. It's all over the map. Or Travis Tritt. You know. I have a lot of friends that people are literally, you know. Some make sense. Oh, you and Larry the Camp. Right.
Starting point is 01:14:40 But there's someone like that. Like a, I don't know. There's other people that people are like, you're like friends with that? I'm like, yeah. Wow. Who's the person like that on your phone that you just can't believe you have? I don't know. There's a lot.
Starting point is 01:14:52 I don't know. Well, there's Roger from Queens. Yeah, that's pretty big. There's a whole bunch. There's Toby. There's a whole bunch. But you don't think about it, but you're like, yeah, everyone's just people too. So once you get to know them, it's kind of interesting.
Starting point is 01:15:04 Right. Shania Twain is a great friend of mine. Oh, my gosh. And we met the same way. She came to my show and they said, don't announce her and don't, you know, she just wants to have a night out and doesn't want to be. And I get that. I'm like, you know what, because I probably would have said, hey, Shania Twain's here. Right.
Starting point is 01:15:20 And they said, you know, she's asking if you'd, I said, of course I won't do that to her. So I come out and I started doing the shots where I hand out shots to the people in the audience. And as I walk into the audience with the little shot things, she's the first one standing up, like waving for a shot, gives me this big hug and a kiss and is dancing to the music. And I still didn't say anything. I just, I was like, shit, I just met Shania Twain. And she's like really, really enjoying the show. So the show was over after I said, is it, she wants to come back and say, I said, well, absolutely. So they bring her back. She's like, oh my God, you were so fun.
Starting point is 01:15:54 And ever since then, we've been, you know, great friends, but it was just funny how at first, you know, I don't, she's one of, she had no clue. She might not have, you know, maybe she didn't enjoy the show. She might, wouldn't have know, maybe she didn't enjoy the show. She wouldn't have come backstage, and she wouldn't have been standing up waiting for a shot. Right. So I won her over. So she was, you know, it was great. It was great. That's so cool. You're living everyone's dream. Like, I feel like everyone's dream is to become friends with, like, their favorite celebrity.
Starting point is 01:16:15 Yeah, especially if you grew up watching them, you know. That's great, you know. That's really cool. That's how I feel right now with you here. I'm like, oh my gosh, Carrot Top's in my house. You're sweet. No, you have no idea. Regis and Kelly, all those things. This is not AI? It could be one day. We could be.
Starting point is 01:16:29 Okay, one final question I have to ask you because I do respect you so much. And I just like, I really do like. Likewise, by the way. You're brilliant. No, seriously. I really just love you, your career. You've always been so nice. Your meet and greets, you're so kind to like each fan.
Starting point is 01:16:42 We love seeing Blue Bear. I'm so sorry about him. Oh, yeah, thank you. Blue Bear was a good little guy. Oh, coming out with you and stuff. It was just like so much fun. She loved those meet and greets. We love seeing Boo Bear. So sorry about him. Oh, yeah. Thank you. Boo Bear was a good little guy. Oh, coming out with you and stuff. It was just so much fun. She loved those meet and greets. Every night, she'd do those meet and greets.
Starting point is 01:16:50 So sweet. And the fans was funny. They'd love to see. So it was some nice... She was the star of the show. They'd bring her presents. Oh, I'd come back, and they were like, oh, my God, it was Boo Bear. She was like a celebrity.
Starting point is 01:17:02 People would come out just to see her. And they would give her, every night they'd have gifts. They still bring gifts. Believe it or not, they still bring gifts for her. And it's great. But yeah, every night she'd be the day, it's my meet and greet. Get out of here. She was great. Seeing her come out with you was amazing. But what's your one piece of advice?
Starting point is 01:17:17 Because you really, I was saying this right when you sat down, was like, how do you not have any beef with anyone? How do you stay out of drama? You're just so chill. Everyone loves you. You love everyone. You're hanging out with all these people. I know. That is a weird thing. How do you stay out of it? Like if someone talks bad about you, right? I'm sure there's been times where people are like, caretops suck. Oh, people always talk bad about me. Has there ever been someone in the media that's like, caretops a hack? You talked about this before. There's been
Starting point is 01:17:39 some people. So how do you just not respond or do you just not care? Or like you're just like, I'm- No, you definitely care. I don't normally respond. I just get my feelings hurt and kind of let it go or don't let it go. But usually there's been – there was one particular celebrity. I'm definitely not going to quote. Yeah, of course. But said a lot of negative stuff about me.
Starting point is 01:18:02 And then one day I was staying in a hotel here in Los Angeles, and I just happened to be coming off the elevator, and the doors opened, you know, ding, and there's this person. And I said, hey. And they were like, hey. And I said, what's the whole beef with me? And when they told me, they were wrong. They didn't have the right – it was like kind of had to clear the whole thing up in a sense. And then it was like, oh, shit, I need to give you a hug now. So we became very close friends after that because it was – Wow. They had to clear up the fact that it was something that didn't happen, that they thought happened, never happened, that was not even close.
Starting point is 01:18:44 Right. So it was cool it was kind of like oh man i feel like a total idiot and i'm like no you know what it's fine we're friends now so it doesn't matter but it wasn't like i never would ever call it out i would never meant i just was like that sucks you just are good at letting things go because it's amazing well you know this planet for so long and also in the world of comedy i mean i might my my job is to is to make people laugh and laugh i I mean, that's what I, you know, I get to laugh every night and I get to have fun. And my whole purpose on this planet is to try to
Starting point is 01:19:10 make people forget about stuff and fights and problems. So I don't ever, yeah, I don't think I've ever had a beef with anybody except the one time. And then it was cleared up. And it wasn't public, you know? Oh, no, there's never been. Yeah. I mean, besides just general people that want to rip on me. Right. You don't go back. There's always those. I mean, that's just part of being in this business.
Starting point is 01:19:30 But as far as directly knowing somebody, yeah, it's only been a few. But yeah. You're the nicest. Yeah. Well, you want to be. And, you know, people always, when they say that to me, I always think, why would you not be? And they go, well, you'd be surprised.
Starting point is 01:19:42 And I said, no, I am surprised. Yeah. Like, I'm not surprised. I always find it odd that people, and not just celebrities, people in general, it's not just celebrities, people in general that just aren't kind to people. And it's always becomes almost a cliche, just it's easier to be kind than, well, it is. And it's so much easier. It's like, it's hard to be mean and hateful. It takes so much more work. So much stress, anxiety. Yeah, so much work. Yeah. It's just like, just be hateful. It takes so much more work. So much stress, anxiety. Yeah, so much work. Yeah. It's just like, just be nice to somebody. It's not that hard. Even
Starting point is 01:20:09 that's what was fun about that day on the plane, bringing that back. No one got, I mean, people were upset that we missed her, but no one yelled out one thing. They all just sat there. And they probably were thinking, you know what? She's having an issue. And you know what? That's kind of sad. But no one was like, sit down, get out no one did that everyone was just like they show kindness you might have she might be having an issue she might be on she who knows she might really have some kind of social disorder so people were nice that day yeah i love to hear that like it's shifting you know people humanity coming together you know trying to like yeah i feel like there's some of that going around now it just seems like people are trying to be kinder going on not on the freeway just now we noticed but uh
Starting point is 01:20:48 did you have a job i know you came thank you so much by the way for coming straight from the plane to here yeah yeah no yeah no you're going back and the freeways are always i'm just kidding you see a general except on the freeway it's called the freeway, by the way. I'm not charging you. It's free. It's the freeway. That's the. Right. Yeah. Well, I appreciate it so much.
Starting point is 01:21:11 I love your show. I hope people go see it. I love your show. Your costumes are everything. Yes. Oh, thank you. Yeah, I make all my own stage costumes and stuff. Yeah. I have so many more questions.
Starting point is 01:21:18 I know you have to go because I have so many questions. I was going to ask about your workout routine and your style on stage. What workout routine? Oh, you look amazing. You're sweet. I always wonder if guys don't like when... Because girls don't like when people comment on their bodies so much, but does it feel good as a guy? Or are you still like, I'm not a piece of meat? I would love to be a piece of meat for somebody. Yeah, I know. No, I mean, that's why
Starting point is 01:21:36 I think you work out is try to... You have to for not only your own well-being, but you also do it to stay in this business longer, to stay in shape so you can dance around like an idiot at the end of the show, what I do. So you, it's, and I was born, you know, when I was a kid, I was on the swim team and I wrestled and I'd, so it's not anything new to me. It's kind of like a lifestyle that I've always stayed in the, you know, in the gym and what,
Starting point is 01:21:59 so people, you know, just usually shocked by like, what's, why are you, why do you have muscles? I'm like, cause I always have wanted to work out. It's not, you know, it's not like I just wanted shocked by like, why are you, why do you have muscles? I'm like, cause I always have wanted to work out. It's not, you know, it's not like I just wanted, you know, people always say that you were skinny and then one day you'd have muscle. I'm like, no, go back and look at me in 1980, whatever. I'm the same exact body, same exact weight that I did when I was, when I was in college, I'm still 150.
Starting point is 01:22:24 Same exact weight I've weighed my, I'm still 150. Same exact weight. I've weighed maybe 155 on a good day if I'm retaining water. Water's always important. Wow, with all that muscle, too, you think you would actually be more. People think I'm bigger. Wow. That's why I always wanted to be in porn. TV makes you look bigger.
Starting point is 01:22:41 And now with the internet and the phones. They always say that, too. I always thought you were bigger in person. I'm like, no. I'm like, that's weird. I always thought you were bigger in person. I'm like, no. I'm like, that's weird. I always thought you were like really big. And I'm like, no. The other day someone just said that.
Starting point is 01:22:50 I thought you were like Joe. I thought you were as big as Joe Rogan. I'm like, Joe Rogan is like. He's small, right? No, but I mean, but he's huge. Oh, he's, yeah, okay. And he's like, you're like skin. I'm like, I'm not Joe Rogan muscle size.
Starting point is 01:23:02 You look the same in that interview. You looked very similar. You think? In that interview? I can't really tell because Joe's like on a desk. I don't know. You look the same in that interview. You looked very similar. In that interview? I can't really tell because Joe's like on a desk. I don't know. He's a big guy. He's a beefy guy.
Starting point is 01:23:11 Bigger than you because your arms are crazy. No, he's twice my size. Really? Oh, I didn't know. And he's in great shape too. And we talked about that in his podcast. Why do people give comics grief for working out? He says, I don't know.
Starting point is 01:23:23 I said, I don't either. I don't get why. Am I just not supposed to be in shape? I'm a comedian. Probably. Basically, I'm like, well, I've done it 30 years and I've always been in shape. So why now? I guess to be relatable.
Starting point is 01:23:34 You should not be in shape. You're a comedian. I'm like, well, you don't want to be in too good a shape. Why not? Well, because you want to be so funny. But if you're too, you're just like, you know. Then people are like, this is not right. It's weird. So you want to be just a, but if you're too, you're just like, you know, then people are like, this is not, it's weird. So you want to be just a little bit.
Starting point is 01:23:48 Well, you got all the other stuff. You want people to say, oh, you look like he takes care of himself. You don't say, he looks like shit, which is, you know, most comics look like shit. That's why people expect you to look like shit. Yeah. Would you ever do an OnlyFans? What makes you say I don't already have an OnlyFans? Do you?
Starting point is 01:24:01 You know, that's your private jet right there. You're right. That is the private jet thing. But I would never, God almighty. No, never? Even just thinking about it. Really? Because you post everything on Instagram.
Starting point is 01:24:12 Not that. I mean, a Speedo is there. You might as well post it on OnlyFans. Only the Speedo is one thing. I don't think they want to see the whole Carrot Junior coming out. I love it. You're just like a humble king, not driven by money. What sign are you?
Starting point is 01:24:24 Pisces, yeah. Oh. Oh. Oh. That explains it all. Yeah. Okay. That makes sense.
Starting point is 01:24:31 Yeah. Pisces are really, really, I mean, every Pisces, we're water, we're just calm, we're just chill. I don't know any Pisces. All my friends that are Pisces are the same. They're just like, hey, man, what's up? You know, just cool. That's why you're on the lake a lot. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:24:49 Very true. I love water. I love being surrounded by water that's why i live in vegas no fucking water but i have fountains in my and i like every every five feet in my house in vegas like little fountain really yeah it's like a little tropical uh people that like always when they come over they like like the playboy mentions uh what do you call it, they like, like the Playboy mentions. Grotto? Yeah, grotto. Wait, really? Just like the grotto. No, it's got like every, literally like every 10 feet, there's like some kind of water, like little fountain thing.
Starting point is 01:25:19 So I feel like I have a little bit of peace in Vegas. Yeah, water is peaceful. My husband's very into water. That's his philosophy is water. I love to. Water's great. I feel like when we die, we go back into water. You's his philosophy is water. I love to. Water's great. I feel like when we die, we go back into water. We're all just kind of like liquid bodies, beings here on this earth. I'm going to go soak my feet in some Epsom salts, speaking of water.
Starting point is 01:25:34 Oh, my gosh. Yes, I know you have another podcast to go to. You're very busy. You do six shows a week. You're in LA doing podcasts on Sunday. I've got to fit in time for court. You have to go to court? I'm kidding.
Starting point is 01:25:43 Oh, my gosh. That's the tea. I have to go to my hearing. Oh, my gosh. Yeah, always out of scandal. I love to fit in time for court. You have to go to court? Oh my gosh. That's the tea. I have to go to my hearing. Oh my gosh. Yeah. Always had a scandal. I love that about you. You're so sweet. I hope so. God almighty. But yeah. I'm trying to stay out of trouble. Stay out of trouble, kids. That's the way to go. I get in trouble too much. I'm always in trouble. So I just need to get, lately I've been better. Now that I have a baby, I've like grounded myself a little more, but I mean, you don't even have a baby and you grounded yourself your whole life.
Starting point is 01:26:04 I have a four-year-old goddaughter that it's funny. We were just the other day shopping for like literally yesterday or day before. And we were at this outdoor shopping thing. And we got this little, this is cutest little checkered little, it looks like, I don't know. It just looks like Thanksgiving fall. It's just that perfect burnt orange, like little checkered dress. So I didn't walk in and I said, oh my God, we got to get that for Taylor. And we're getting it rung up and she says, it's like a 4T, so I think it'll fit.
Starting point is 01:26:39 And I said something stupid because I'm a comic. I said, or I can just get her out of the car and she can come in and try it on. And the girl's like, what? I said, I'm kidding. And she's like, oh, my God. That really got, she was like, oh, my God. That was really funny. Because it just happened so fast.
Starting point is 01:26:54 She's like, if it doesn't fit her, it'll be okay. Oh, you can just bring it back. I said, all right, just go to the car and get her and have her try it on now. She's just like, what the fuck? She's like, thank God you're carrying something because I'm going to call the police. I said, no, I'm just kidding.
Starting point is 01:27:07 Would you have kids one day, you think? I don't know. I mean, you can't say never. I don't know. So I don't know. Wherever life takes me, you know? Yeah. But I have fun with the little four-year-old now.
Starting point is 01:27:16 She's great growing up. She's fun watching. You would be the funnest parent in the world. You're just a fun vibe. You're like a party vibe. I think I would be a fun. That's the problem. I would be too fun and not be...
Starting point is 01:27:26 Disciplinary. I'd be like, yeah, let's do whatever you want to do. Yeah. Because you've got to be a parent. You can't be that. Right. But you'd be... I'm a good uncle. I'm a good uncle. I love it. You're just a family guy on the lake, chilling, and then being a rock star in Vegas at night.
Starting point is 01:27:41 I think it's so great. So I appreciate you so much. Thank you. I love your nails. Oh, thank you. They're sparkly. They're not. Coming back to Vegas to see you, to get the nachos. And the popcorn.
Starting point is 01:27:51 They have food at your show. You can eat popcorn at your show. You can eat popcorn at my show. It's very rare. You can't do that. I always love that. Yeah, a lot of places don't let you bring food in. I always find it funny when I walk into the crowd, there's always a guy in the tub. I'm like, I always reach in and take a couple pieces out.
Starting point is 01:28:03 It's the best. I watch you. It's a little awkward. You It's the best to watch. Yeah, it is a little awkward. You couldn't do that during COVID, you know? I go in and I take,
Starting point is 01:28:08 I dig in the tub and pull a piece out and the guy's like, ah! You're the best. You're amazing. Guys, Carrot Top,
Starting point is 01:28:14 check him out. He's so good on TikTok. He does a Saturday Night Recaps on YouTube. He's at the Luxor. He's literally everywhere. I can't believe you're here. Thank you and all your fans
Starting point is 01:28:21 too for watching. Thank you. Thank you. Go give love to Carrot Top, you guys. And yeah, we'll see you at the Luxor. Next time I get the sparkly mic. Get a rainbow blink.
Starting point is 01:28:30 Yeah. Cheers honey. Thank you. Thank you so much. I really appreciate it.

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