Just Trish - Karmalita Fox on FAT-PHOBIC Videos & Pretty Privilege

Episode Date: October 5, 2023

On episode 20 of 'JUST TRISH', Trisha sits down with both the enigmatic Karmalita Fox to discuss her controversial fat-phobic TikToks where she YELLS at viewers to lose weight. How does the self-help guru feel about the hardships that come with pretty privilege? Plus she reveals how 'RuPaul's Drag Race' stars Sugar and Spice helped manifest her social media career.  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Hey guys! Welcome back to another episode of Just Trish and I am so excited for today's podcast guest. It is her first podcast interview ever and I'm so honored. It's Ms. Carmina Fox. Excited and nervous. Oh my god. I know you're like, I'm so nervous. I'm like, don't be. I was so excited when you commented. I think it was on my Dr. Drew post and I was like, can you please be a guest? I was so happy. Now that podcast episode made me like i mean i already liked you but like it made me like you more thank you i was shook when i saw you commented because we have mutuals sugar and spice who i'm like obsessed with and you look like a living breathing doll too like even more so in person i was saying i was like i need to find people who are just not all barbies because

it looks like i'm very just Barbie core all the time, which I am at the moment. You got the Barbie lineup right now. Yes. You are a doll in every sense of the word. So when you're like, oh, I was like, please come on. I don't know what we'll talk about. I'm like, girl, there's actually so much to talk about.

You're such like, you're blowing up right now, but you're also such an enigma because there is not a lot of interviews with like none. I don't think you haven't done one. No, this is my first. Not even a written because New York Post has has written about you but you did not give an interview to them right no you didn't talk to them no i don't so they just wrote that article without your knowledge i went viral and they just like wrote that's great i was like oh okay new york post okay no that's first of all iconic because like from what i gather on your social

media you've only started like your tiktok was 2022 but your YouTube's only like eight months old right yeah but I only started taking it serious like a month ago and TikTok you took seriously January 2022 that's what I saw sorry January 2022 right which is like crazy how like fast you've blown up which what do you attribute it to like just manifestation for sure you know I'm obsessed with that part of you yeah no I was hanging around sugar and spice for a little bit and it wasn't until sugar was like I kid you not you will blow up online I was like okay we have a star telling me this let me like give it a shot so I like set out I started like my manifestation routines and stuff like that and yeah it took off on its own wow that's what I really love it's

funny because like sugar is like kind of like a talent scout kind of knows because sugar kind of gave me my revival this year too sugar is so wise so wise like wiser than the public would think no I know I'm blown away I am blown away by both of them i think they're amazing and they gave me my little revival when they did my makeover earlier this year and i felt more like me so you kind of blew up because of the fat phobia ish tiktoks which i don't think is fat phobic and well we'll get into that we'll get into it i love you first and foremost always as always i only bring on people i absolutely love and i think are like such a light i'm so grateful honestly oh i'm so grateful and i mean that because you're so deep

you're so no no i'm super grateful because it's like i've dealt with depression and it's like i've never like i used to watch your videos in high school and never in a million years that i think i would be sitting in front of you so it's like if you're depressed just keep going out there you the story is not over oh my that, that's your message on so many things. And it's so smart. I have so, you know, I always make notes for my guests, but I have so many quotes from you on here because I think you're, when I tell you, like, I actually think you're the smartest person online.

I mean it. And I'm shocked you have it. I mean, you just started, of course, but like, and you have blown up, but I'm like, you are going to be like massive, mark my words, like a hundred percent. Thank you. If that's, I mean, if that's what you want, but i think like you're manifesting the stuff you talk about spirituality is like so deep like there's one there's one line when you said about that because i have to go it's like invisible forces are moving things around your life is happening in perfect timing those

are quotes directly from your thing and i think that's so true where did manifestation start were you doing it at a young age is this new new? So I had a spiritual awakening in 2018. And it's like, if anyone, if you've ever gone through a spiritual awakening before, you'll know you start seeing all the numbers and you start feeling a little cuckoo and stuff like that. But I started in 2018 and I was like, oh my God, this stuff is real. Like the spiritual world is real. So I've always been like a person who like I'm an Aquarius so

I have like a large quest for knowledge like I'm always teaching myself something every day so it's like you know I want the cheat codes to life I believe things should be easy life is meant to be easy and like I'm like just trying to find all the cheat codes to get there faster was there like a rock because I had a spiritual awakening too and I had like a little bit of a rock bottom for mine. Was there a rock bottom or were you just like, I need to change something in my life? No, there wasn't a rock bottom. I went to a botanica with my friend and I was like, okay, like I'll go here. And at first it was more so to attract more money.

I was like, oh, I'll try a money oil or whatever. And there were these other candles and stuff like that. And there was like an angel candle. And I was like, I've always had there were these other candles and stuff like that. And there was like an angel candle. And I was like, I've always had like an affinity for angels and stuff like that. So I was like, oh, let me just grab that. So I lit it. And then all of a sudden I started seeing numbers. And like, I'm sure the numbers were always there.

But it's just like I was so much more tuned into things that I was like, oh, like what's happening? And so I started reading a bunch of books, started taking YouTube content in, all that. What was the book? For me, I started with The Secret, which is like the intro to this stuff. Yeah, no, I started with The Secret as well. It's life-changing, honestly. Yeah, no, I started with The Secret and then I would listen to Esther Hicks and Abraham Hicks' content on YouTube all the time and stuff like that. Then I got all the books and I read all the books.

My favorite is The Art of Deliberate Intent because I feel like that one specifically teaches you how to think about your situation. And if you're ever feeling depressed or sad, or when I feel disempowered, that's the book I go back to because I'm like, oh no, I can think differently about things. And that's what's going to get me out of feeling stuck. Right. The training your way to think about something or more so how to divert from thinking negatively was always my thing because I always had thoughts of impending doom. Yeah.

But I also read this other book too. It's by Matt Kahn, Everything is Here to Help You. Ah, I know this one. So I learned basically because when you learn about manifesting and stuff like that, I feel like people are focused on the positive aspects. If you think negative, you'll attract negative circumstances and stuff like that. But after reading that book, there's the golden rule in there that's like, give yourself permission to dislike things. And I was like, oh my God, no, that's so true. Because it's like, you're not going to be positive about things all the time.

Sometimes you're going to feel a little bit negative and sometimes it's going to be better to feel that negative emotion and let it go versus trying to tell yourself that you're not feeling negative and just continuing to think positive. So it's kind of like giving yourself a little bit of freedom and releasing like resistance in a way, if that makes any sense. No. Yeah. I feel like for me, I just spiral. I feel like I spiral if I'd let it go too long I know that feeling but I don't know like having to be in a negative of course like everything like things go wrong you get anxiety over stuff like that but I have to let it go so quickly I have to like flip it around the minute I start being like oh my gosh money problems or this or wait

you know all stuff it's hard yeah no I totally agree with that that is like the pivoting technique that Esther Hicks talks about but I'm more so talking about like like say you don't like the pivoting technique that Esther Hicks talks about but I'm more so talking about like like say you don't like the state you live in like you don't have to convince yourself that you love it like I see yeah you can just admit certain things to yourself like okay maybe I don't like mushrooms on my pizza right because there's just certain things I get what you're saying for sure I have to read that one I haven't heard Matt Conn is he like a does he what does he do is he everything is he's a writer he's author um everything is here to help you that's a really good one that's like opened my mind because yeah no i feel the same way i'm just like i can't spiral like i have

to pivot like i have to but like sometimes you just like you just gotta cry and let it all out just feel those feelings for sure i have to always like take a nap actually meditation's my new nap but i used to take a nap and I'd feel like so much better because when I would like spiral online, I would just like let it all out. I'm like, now I just take a nap and I feel like so much better or meditate. Do you meditate? I wish I could like wake up and just like have a meditation time. I think that's so aspirational, but for me, my meditation is like a long walk.

Okay. Yeah. Yeah. That's my husband's too. He does the walking. It clears your mind. Like you don't think about things when you're walking. Yeah. me my meditation is like a long walk okay yeah yeah that's my husband's walking meditation it clears your mind like you don't think about things when you're walking yeah or like i feel like it's an easier time for thoughts to be put in my head by like the universe yeah i thought that was the most interesting what is the first abraham hicks book like the one that like the everyone

talked about it's the i know it i know it i know it i know it um we'll have our research department look it up moses it's so good because that's the first one that like got me into like clearing my mind where she was like i was just silent for 15 minutes like set a timer and that's when abraham hicks basically you know she started like and she's like i felt orgasmic almost like euphoric you know and so like i'm like i want to experience this i want to sit in silence and like get the answers asking it's given asking it's given that's the one yeah oh i haven't read that one so asking it's given is the first is the second one i read after the seeker and that's when i got into like the meditation i love it and i when i was pregnant

i meditated for hours on day it was like no it's so nice like when i have meditated it's been really nice but i just like get so distracted so no i I have meditated, it's been really nice. But I just like get so distracted. So no, I love a long walk. And do you go by yourself? Do you just like go walk in silence? Or do you have someone like with you? Because your walks are good.

I usually go by myself, yeah. I feel like your walking content is good. Sorry, I'm so excited to have you here. I'm sorry. I've never met someone else. You're so sorry. Yeah, no. Me and like Spice and Sugar will go for like long walks in the hills sometimes. But like solo walks are also great because you really can just be with yourself and your thoughts and stuff like that.

Yeah, no, literally. Oh, my God. When I was living in Manhattan, literally long walks were the only thing keeping me sane because I was depressed at the time. But I would go for the walks and I would just literally, when I first started making TikToks, it was more so about spiritual content because I just like have immersed myself in that world and have a lot of knowledge of it. So I'd go on these walks and I was like pivoting my negative thoughts and stuff like that. And I was like, oh, let me share this with the world. And like, it was a nice- You're like called to do it. You like felt it.

Yeah. And people would be like, oh my God, no, I needed to hear this today and stuff like that. So that was really nice. Yeah. Your first ones, like i went back to your first ones and it's like you did angel messages and i thought those were like those are the ones when i go through tiktok still to this day it's like this is what i needed to hear because it does come when you need to hear it i listened to last night because i didn't know you did those and you did one about like you know get ready like money's coming your way and like those work so it's so true once you hear someone tell you that you're ready to like open and like receive it like you're ready for it and that's why I feel like I love those so much and there's very few people who do

it on tiktoks but I love that you do that yeah no I honestly love creating spiritual content just because that's my personal interest but I didn't really start going viral until I started talking about more superficial things like pretty privilege and like weight and stuff like that yeah so I'm very interested in this that's why I'm like so happy you're here when we like originally texted you were like I hope you don't think I'm fat phobic and we talked a little bit yeah I was making those videos and I was like oh my god I'm not gonna lie girl I saw them and I was like scared I was like oh gosh just you know because you remember Nicole Arbour with Dear Fat People? Do you remember that video?

Oh, it went viral and people hated her. She was like, Dear Fat People, you're fat and you suck. She was like trying to be very like Jenna Marbles. It was very viral. And I remember I made so many people angry. And so when I first saw it, because that's not the first time I saw you. We'll get there too. But the first time I saw you, you were talking about people who like hate on you. I do edit it. And again, I have the full quote here, but let me see if I can

remember it. But you're like, you know, so the only reason why someone would hate on you so much is because they hate the fact that they secretly admire you. If you truly hated something, you wouldn't give your time and energy to it. You'd be indifferent. Hate is a little closer to love than it is to indifference. So true. Word for word, I was like, wow. That like hit. It's so true. Because if you really think about it, like I know personally for me, if like I'm scrolling and I'm seeing something that's a little bit too heavy for me, like I'm going to scroll. Right.

I'm not going to give any attention to it. And after reading all these books, you also know like you don't give your attention to more of things you don't want to create. Right. So all these haters and people who say negative things about us they actually love us a lot more than we think it's so true and then people be like no she thinks everyone's jealous of her and it's like but it's true they think it's a halo effect like pretty girls have like this halo effect or whatever

they're just like egotistical but no like it's just the truth yeah because I was because it's not like I think people are jealous like oh like she's fat or whatever I always think people are jealous that like I'm just like fat and like happy you know what I mean it's like yeah they're like wait I'm fat I'm not happy how is she fat and happy yeah exactly and that's what I find so interesting and I was talking about this in one of my videos I was like I find like when're bigger, it's almost like men don't expect you to be confident. They don't expect you to have self-esteem. They don't expect you to be a goddess. Right.

Because they stigmatize you as every other girl who looks like that. Right. So, no, I think it's so, like, powerful and empowering that you are who you are. Thank you. Yeah. I know. I always get that as, like, if you're in a bikini, like, yeah, I thought I wish I had your confidence. It's, like, get that as like, if you're in a bikini, like, God, I wish I had your confidence.

It's like, just cause I'm like fat in a bikini. Like what? Like, it's like, it's also not a confidence thing. It's just like a hot, I'm hot. It's July and I'm sweating. I'm going to wear a bikini. And that's what I feel too. Like, I feel like no matter your body size, like confidence is really the number one thing.

Like, cause you can work it. For sure. If you feel it, i think i have reverse body dysmorphia i think i'm skinnier than i am i always like look at myself i'm like oh god i look so good and then i sit next to someone and it's like oh wow okay i guess i'm fatter than i thought so i think i'm just more delusional it's okay to be a little delulu all right so let's talk about this content so you went viral the new york postage article about not having if you don't want to be fat, don't have,

oh, get rid of your fat friends. This was your- Yeah. It's so funny. That was a video that was concocted by me and Sugar. We were in the kitchen just laughing, joking up and stuff like that. And honestly, I didn't expect it to go so big, but honestly, I didn't know it would trigger people. Okay. So that's the next question then. so are you – you can answer however you want. There's no wrong answer. Do you consider yourself a troll or do you have some of these feelings maybe deep down and you're like, I'm just going to kind of character it out a little? No, Carmelita Fox is definitely a character. It's a culmination of all my friends' thoughts and opinions on society and stuff like that.

It's more troll-y. I'm definitely acting and stuff like that i don't hate fat people i guess i have to say that but um you don't have to say that either because you know what i mean the thing is is like one you can be an entertainer i really don't though okay well i love that i was fat you know for a result we're not bad people i seen that tiktok and everyone's like wait but you weren't even fat i know i'm taller so it's like people don't want to like they want to be like oh you were never were never big. Right. You look great. You were never this or that, blah, blah, blah.

But like, I was bigger. Yeah. So I know. Like, my biggest was a size 12. And then like, I like stayed around eight, unintentionally became a size two and stuff like that. But like. Unintentionally?

Yeah. It really. You just casually, like it just was. So like walking was the only thing that kept me sane. I was like really depressed and like, I was like, I just got to go for a walk every day. I was averaging like 15 to 20 K steps living in the city. Wow. It's easy to do that in the city. Right. You're walking everywhere. Um, yeah, no, it was really my habits like that got me there. Like there was a couple of months where I was like, Oh my God, like, cause I I wasn't shopping for clothes because it's like that period in New York where it's like spring

but almost summer but not really and like let's throw some snow in there okay yeah you're like so I was just like wearing baggy clothes and I was like I don't know my size until like summer and I just like ordered on Aritzia I was like oh shit Aritzia it's like a store I know nothing but Fashion Nova so when people talk fashion I'm like if it's like a store I know nothing about Fashion Nova so when people ask fashion I'm like if it's something bouj I don't know it's like I don't know any fashion see this is why I don't know

I try to be boujee with some persons here and there I'm like no but okay so you were like confident to that no I'm sorry I'm literally talking over you so much I'm so sorry but so you were like oh I'm confident because I'm assuming yeah no literally I was like oh much. I'm so sorry. But so you were like, oh, I can fit in. Because I'm assuming. Yeah, no. Literally, I was like, oh, my God, I fit into an extra small. Like, mind you, I've been, like, a large all my life.

Like, could stuff into a medium. But I was like, oh, wow. Like. I could stuff into an XL. How did that feel going from large to extra small? I've never done that. So I have no idea. It's really fascinating because it's, like, I had like an aesthetic of like looking like a supermodel for all my life but it's like I like to eat so

it's like okay whatever but like I got there when I wasn't actually thinking about getting there at all so I think what was more fascinating about it was how people treated me and stuff like that. And I didn't really like, I feel like when you lose weight or just go from one form to another, it doesn't matter what type of form it is, and you see people treat you differently, it kind of solidifies the message about society to your head. And that's the only thing I don't like. I feel like everyone should be treated well, no matter their size. And everyone is beautiful, no matter their size. But I I don't like I feel like everyone should be treated well no matter their size and everyone is beautiful no matter their size but I just don't like that in the real world like I'm getting more free things because I'm skinny no the world is fat phobic a thousand percent like people always prefer a skinny person over fat and I I've never been skinny but I'm on

this tiktok where I see weight loss people and being like yeah well people treated me so much better when I lost weight and it's true I mean I feel like in but I'm on this TikTok where I see weight loss people and being like, yeah, well, people treated me so much better when I lost weight. And it's true. I mean, I feel like in general, I feel like even me, I gravitate towards thin girls. I'm like, oh, they're so pretty. They're the ideal. You know, I do think there's plus size girls that are pretty, of course, but I just, I gravitate towards skinny girls and it's just, it's just society.

I think it's the way it's conditioned. It's literally society. Yeah. Because like, I had a realization last year and I was like, wait, no, everyone, the real scam is you believing. And I was like, if everyone was fat, if everyone had a stomach, none of us would feel this way. It would be the normal and you would just feel beautiful. But it's like, I've come to realize that like most people don't actually really hate their bodies. They've just been taught to hate their bodies because of the messages the billboards the magazines like and now especially thin is so back in with all the ozempic and yeah

and you have to be so skinny and it's just i don't know what my block is from stopping me to lose weight but i just can't like i would give anything to be skinny and i just i don't have willpower and i watch all your tiktok i went through all of them last night I'm like let me start from the beginning and see and you your advice you know it's blunt you know and it can it's for me it's someone that's like I couldn't have a trainer who like yells me so it's hard to hear but there's so many people who are like this actually helped me they love it yeah people love it they do half the people love it half the people are like yeah the stitches are girls who get it get it exactly no and now hearing it's a character honestly even if it wasn't a character who get it, get it. Exactly. No, and now hearing it's a character, honestly, even if it wasn't a character, I get it. You know, like I get that too.

Just like trying to motivate people. Yeah, no, my real personality is like a Xanax. Like for me to yell and throw donuts on the floor. I mean, it was funny, but like it's definitely, that's why I'm happy I started YouTube. And I'm so grateful I started YouTube because I don't, I get to be myself more. Your YouTube is amazing. I can't believe you just started it eight months ago. I was wow you're so well even now I'm honestly this is probably the most nervous I've been for an interview like I'm talking over y'all because you're so articulate

and I've had great all everyone has been very smart and intelligent always blows me away but you're so articulate you're so deep and so you have so much knowledge like I've just had a spiritual awakening like three years ago so all the stuff you say it comes from a place on your YouTube too it comes from a place of like like you could just tell self-work to say to hear that you were like depressed at one point like I wouldn't even I would believe it but not exactly like if you like scroll back to my TikTok and like those first six months like you would never know like yeah a girl wouldn't stand at all what was it were you ever diagnosed with it? Was it just something that happened?

Was it situational depression? Situational, but, like, I definitely was taking antidepressants and stuff like that. But, yeah, no walking and reading was the only thing keeping me sane. So, yeah, I would make my TikToks and stuff, and I'd be like, you know what? I don't got to get on the internet and share this sad story, but I'll tell you what I learned. I'll tell you the solution, you know? So yeah. Yeah.

I like that when you, I don't know if it was YouTube or TikTok that I heard you were talking about. It's like, okay, what did I like learn from this? Like what, what did this teach me? This like, and I think that's the best thing when you think you failed or where you think you're like, and you, there is, there's a quote you said where it's like, you did nothing wrong. Like you're exactly where you're supposed to be.

That's really helped me a lot. Cause like when I like think about things and I'm like, well, maybe I could have did better. Maybe I should have did like, why am I here? Why am I doing this? Like, why did this happen? If you really sit back and think about the traumatic times in your life and like look back in retrospect, now that you of it you could be like oh I did learn a lot that did make me stronger it like led me to where I needed to be where you think something was a failure like oh I'm kind of glad that didn't work out because it led me to like this too yeah absolutely and I thought that was like so insightful too I'm like and in that way like your character delivery like when you say stuff like that is like, oh, yeah, I need to hear this.

Like I like that being told like you did nothing wrong. Like the way you do it, I think that's so great because like you need to hear it in that way. You know what I mean? Because everyone, especially spiritual people, they're very like – Yes. And your voice, by the way, very ASMR right now. I could honestly like fall asleep. Like I'm so relaxed.

You're very beautiful voice. When I found out my friend got a great deal on a designer dress from winners, I started wondering is every fabulous item I see from winners. Like that woman over there with the Italian leather handbag. Is that from winners? Ooh, or that beautiful silk skirt. Did she pay full price or those suede sneakers or that luggage or that trench,

those jeans, that jacket, those heels. Is anyone paying full price for anything? Stop wondering. Start winning. Winners find fabulous for less. In a good way.

Do you do ASMR? I don't, but I get told I should a lot. Like literally he's hearing me. I get those ASMR comments. It's crazy. Like it's because I do ASMR, but my voice is very loud and yours is very, anyways. And it's very relaxing too on that sense. But it's funny too to see the difference in character Carmelita online versus Carmelita in person it's so different I'm definitely Tiffany Pollard inspired like I love 2000s reality TV

they don't make TV like that anymore she's coming back on a TV show right now it's called like the villains or something and it's like all the villains she's so iconic like watching it back and knowing that she's acting the whole time, I'm like, oh, wow. Amazing. And then her on Celebrity Big Brother is like so good. She's one of those like first OG

like reality stars. Literally. So good. When she had her own spinoff when she was like acting, remember she went like Tiffany Goes to Hollywood and she was like trying to audition. I was like, so good.

I wanted to be her so bad. The early 2000s, Anna Nicole and Tiffany. They don't make TV like that anymore. I'm just like, we talked about Christine Quinn. She's like the only one on TV that makes it interesting, but reality was like so boring. Would you ever do it? Honestly, I feel like it'd be good, but at the same time, it's reality TV, such a different animal that like scares me. Like I was watching when holly said how like they edited her to say something completely different yeah i'm so scared of that it's so scary and you can't you really don't can't

do anything about it or however they edit you is how they edit you they can make anybody look any type of way so what was reality show would you do now or back then what reality show if you had to do one oh god i would love to be new york because i just love that concept like a bunch of men fighting over her oh like i love new york show yeah oh it was so good she had such trash men she deserved so much better of course of course they were like she could have done better she definitely could have done better than flame of flame but also like oh yeah she should be like they should do like a bachelorette with her you know what i mean because she's like i just love her i love that she's still doing reality TV.

Do you remember Bad Girls Club? Yes. Oh my God. Me and my sister were watching season seven and like all day just stuck. So good. Just stuck. I was terrified of all those girls. I am not a fighter.

I don't like confrontation and I was terrified of all of them. But maybe you could go on as like a motivational, like kind of like Biggest Loser. If they had that show. Do you remember that show? Biggest Loser? No. No? Oh, girl, this is your show.

So they would have kind of like really mean trainers. And it was people who could lose the most weight in an amount of time. So all these fat people went to this fat camp. And whoever lost the most weight won like $250,000. And people were saying it was like they kind of got eating disorders from it because they would like basically starve themselves to like lose the most weight. Oh wow. Yeah. I know. I could see how that could cause that. Yeah. Right. You're gonna have to be like so skinny and like the measure your body. It was crazy. The early 2000s was very fat phobic. It was, everything was diet

pills, all that stuff like that. Yeah. No, I started watching like Secrets of Playboy yesterday and I was like, Oh, that's such a heavy watch but um yeah just hearing them talk about the standards and how they couldn't like gain five pounds like i'm like oh it's crazy yeah or they would like take polaroids of their bodies and stuff like that it's did you ever want to do playboy no so you're not like um because i we are talking yesterday it's someone about just being nude as being free i'm very much that i love being nude but you're not you're very like i mean i don't mind being nude but i'm not trying to be i love being i always just thought that was like sexy i was like oh naked is sexy but also i feel

like nowadays covered up is kind of sexy too you know what i mean but i love that when you shut me your outfit that's why by the way if you guys are wondering why i'm seeing like this i literally have the tiniest dress that i've ever worn in years but i had to come match the energy because you showed me yours i'm like barbie damn yeah you wanted a barbie you are barbie would you be in the sequel if they asked you oh yeah oh my god because you have like the dimensions too they always say like barbies like anatomically wouldn't like work because her legs are so long as up but you have the anatomy dimensions too they always say like barbies like anatomically wouldn't like work because her legs are so long as up but you have the anatomy of the actual barbie which would be so iconic if you don't yes do you act if i had an acting coach i feel like i could really

refine my skills but no well you kind of act online with your character i mean i guess i do yeah where do you come from um so like after like they try to cyber bully me I was like you know what like I don't feel like the internet deserves to see the real me at least TikTok at least YouTube can yeah but like yeah because no when I first started creating content I was like on there my normal personality like which is like a Xanax or whatever and it wasn't until I started like talking about aesthetics more superficial things and started yelling more because it's very not me. Like I'm not someone who's like loud and yelling all the time or nothing like that.

That's when the video started doing good. Yeah. Cause you're so different. There's no one like you doing that. Cause also you're loud is not like loud, like a Tiffany Pollard, you know, cause you can be like,

you're very just like, what are you doing with your life? Like throw away those don't get rid of those fat. Like you're very like, your delivery is very unique to anyone else. Like, you know what I mean? you're very just like what are you doing with your life like throw away those don't get rid of those fat like you're very like your delivery is very unique to anyone else like you know what i mean so i think that's what makes i told you i've seen girls like imitating your like tone your style your wow yeah they're trying to do the same there's only one you but you get a lot of flatter though yeah that's the sincerest form of uh invitation from flattery so but you get a lot of likes on yours which is

interesting you get a ton of views but i always look at people's likes to see who likes it and a ton of people like your content like one had like maybe 500 000 we got like 88 000 likes which is like crazy high so people are resonating with something maybe they need to be told this maybe they need that motivation they message me all the time like telling me they lost 30 pounds 20 pounds and i'm like well damn i'm happy it's really helping. Yeah. Even the New York Post included that at the end of the article, they were just like, you know, some people said it's been helping them. So I think in a way, wow, I didn't read that article. I just saw the title and it was like, mean girl. I was like, okay, when I won't read. Yeah, there was a couple because I did I was

doing research. I just like to see what people are saying and stuff like that and like yeah you're like you are somewhat of an enigma which I think is good if you're being like a character if you're being a troll I definitely started out being a troll and I think my goal in the beginning was to like offend people but I feel like that's not your goal like I wanted to be offensive so yeah no like my goal was always like to like improve people's lives and stuff like that that was like my original goal but it's like they wouldn't pay attention to me if I like was just talking normal so it's like I basically learn like just from like looking at the engagement and the views and like I'm really analytical like sugar's really taught me to be very analytical about things and like really just

like be objective and I was like sugar they like when I yell yeah I was like they just like be objective. And I was like, sugar, they like when I yell. I was like, they like me screaming. And I'm like, okay, well, I want to like, I'm kind of over the fat phobia content or the diet content. And I'm like, well, I want to like maybe talk about a little psychology or something. But I make the videos. The engagement's lower. Right. I come on, tell them you're eating way too much it's skyrocketed so it's like I'm kind of locked into like interesting diet coach vibes is that

frustrating are you gonna just ride with it for now I'm riding with it for now like the first one wave I was riding with was the pretty privilege wave like they're blowing me up for that and now like I guess I'm on went from fat to skinny and stuff like that. So I'm just going to ride with it now. Yeah. Pretty privileged. That could be your book title. You can have like pretty privilege or you're fat or something could be your book title. You definitely need to write a book because one, you have so much knowledge and like very, you're very self-help. It's like, and I think reading books like Christine's book, we were talking about Christine earlier. That was such a good book. It's very like self-help. It's, like, and I think reading books, like, Christine's book. We were talking about Christine's book earlier. That was such a good book.

It's very, like, self-help. I was, like, feeling depressed that day. I had an audio book going. I was, like, damn, she manifested, too. She manifested, too. I'll be just like her. Yes. And when you read this by girls, because, you know, those other ones are by very, like,

spiritual people and stuff like that or people you can't connect with. When you can, like, relate to someone, you're, like, oh, it worked. Yeah, no, absolutely. You know? Any pretty girl who has had, like, humble like humble beginnings like I just have so much respect for that like because life isn't easy for all of us so no and you can create anything I mean that's the power of manifesting what's your biggest manifesting tool is it visualize is it writing something down like what do you think is your biggest I would say like okay when I really want

something I'll go and get a candle interesting what's the candle like is it how does it help so like I feel like candles are like physical representations of um I guess energy and stuff like that and you just put your energy into it and they come like customized with herbs, ingredients, oils that all have specific vibrations to it. So it's like different herbs for different things. In the candles? The herbs are in the candles? Yeah, they'll put them in the candle. Honestly, I had a candle going and you DMed me. So I was like, oh shit, this works. What kind of candle? What herbs were in it? It was an open roads candle. Wow. I thought you meant like a bath and body wears candle and i was like i'm doing this wrong i'm gonna get too much that's crazy oh my gosh so there's herbs in a candle and there's a bunch of them where they're like is it like crystals where like one herb means

something like okay this is a money herb and this is yeah yeah i never heard of this one you have the candle lit and are you just like silent or you're like saying stuff? So like you put your energy into it. So like I will visualize like so let's say I was like wanting a luxurious condo. I'm like, okay, well, what do my mornings look like? Basically, you want to like think – it's like law of assumption vibes. You want to think from the end. Like you want to – okay, now you have the condoo what does your daily routine look like what are you doing like what body washes in your shower

that's how someone who has the condo would think right versus like I need this I want this I'm trying to get this those are two different like wavelengths to be on so you're like visualizing and that's putting the energy into the candle. Yeah. So like I visualize, I speak, and then I move a muscle. Move a muscle. Like what does that mean? Like an actual muscle? I'll dance if I want to.

Oh, okay. What does that do? Yeah. Are you putting energy into your muscle? You're just putting energy into the candle. Okay. Okay. So a little movement, a little visualization.

I like that. What would your book, let's manifest your book. What's your book title? you came out with wood? The Real Scam Is You Believing It. Yeah, that's your like iconic line. Yeah. That's so good because that is true. The real scam is you believing it.

And it applies to anything, like literally anything. Like when like makeup companies try to sell makeup and they're like, you've got acne. Yeah. Your pores are huge. Isn't that the scam or does just everyone telling you a lie? Yes. People try to sell you something. It's like, no.

And then people just believe it. Or just someone saying like, you are, you're ugly. Like if I hear it enough, like why not anymore? Cause I'm very like overly confident. But if you hear it enough, like you're ugly, then you believe it. But if you hear enough, oh, you're so pretty. Then you believe it too. But if you believe you're ugly, then you got scammed. You don't think anyone's ugly? No, it's that if you believe you're, you're enough oh you're so pretty then you believe it too but if you believe you're ugly then you got scammed you don't think anyone's ugly not as that if you believe you're

no you believe you're ugly you got scammed but what if they're actually ugly like if someone convinced you that i mean whatever they are that's what i'm saying what if someone's actually ugly but you're like no no one's ugly because if you think that you got scammed i think it just depends on the individual like beauty is subjective beauty is so subjective i truly don't think like anyone is like truly like some people might think i'm ugly truly right yeah for sure like no i i think that for sure i think that it's in the eye of the beholder because someone you think is like so ugly someone else will like find attractive you know so there's like that standard beauty you're obviously the standard beauty but yeah people have different preferences and i don't think anyone's truly ugly. If you think you're ugly, there is someone out there

for you. People always think like, no one's gonna love me. The moment you're sitting there calling yourself ugly, that's where you went wrong. Yeah. Oh, I love that. See, that's what I'm saying. No, it's so true. And it is. Like, when I get like DMs from like random girls and stuff, like telling me these things, I'm like, oh, girl. Do you write back? Sometimes, yeah. Yeah. And like let them know. I mean, I think that Sometimes, yeah. Yeah? And let them know? I mean, I think that's hard, too, because you probably get a ton of DMs now that you're this self-help person.

I get a lot of diet DMs and people wanting to be skinny and people with eating disorders and stuff like that. Yeah, that just went. But you were saying you lost your weight and you didn't really diet. You just didn't think about it.

Exactly. And I've wanted to be skinny my whole life. And that's so weird. Okay, I've wanted to be skinny my whole life and that's so weird okay I wanted to be skinny my whole life and it never happened I've wanted to be skinny my whole life and it's like oh it just happened yeah literally but it was like habits just habits like not thinking about it because they find like that's what really messes me up like I try to like my sister just got gastric sleeve or whatever so she's been on a liquid diet so I'm like oh that's really interesting and like she's like lost like 20 pounds in three weeks so it's like very fascinating to watch so I was like oh like I'll try a liquid fasting and stuff like that but you

didn't have a sleeve in your stomach and then like literally I couldn't even go a day but it's because like I just find when you focus way too much on diet, that's where you're messing up. That's what he always tells me too. No, it's so true. Because I think about it every day. Yeah. Every day. No, that's where most people mess up. When you think about losing weight, you won't lose that.

I can't think about anything else. I always just think I can't lose it. Every morning, I'm like, I'm going to start a diet. I'm going to try and do this. I always fuck it up. Yeah, no, that's where you're going wrong. So what do I do? I can't just not think.

I cannot not think about it. So it's just more so you got to focus on what habits, that's where you're going wrong. So what do I do? I can't just not think. I cannot not think about it. So like it's just more so you got to focus on what habits, what new habits you're going to create because that's what it really is. Like it's like I've like been wanting to be skinny my whole life and I've definitely tried other means of becoming skinny that weren't sustainable. But it really was when I wasn't thinking about it. I was like, okay, like I'm going to be on camera. So like, let me like take care of myself a little bit more. So I would go to the gym, 15 minutes cardio, a little strength training, and then like

do my makeup, make, go for a walk, make TikToks. And that was my routine for months. And I was a size two, but I was never thinking about it really like that I was just literally walking making content I gotta start this walking we used to walk all the time it's just so hot now so it's like oh yeah that's why like a nighttime walk oh okay it's so hot in California yeah it's because we because he used to walk every time when I met him and so he started on this walking thing we just haven't done so long because Rebel Wilson says she lost like 60 pounds just walking every day I was like like, I'm going to start this walking thing. And then you just stop thinking about it.

I know. And people always try to mess with you and be like, that's not doing anything. You're not losing weight by walking. I hear that all the time. That is how I lost all this weight. That's never worth it. I hate it. Like if I do an hour of cardio at the gym, I'm tired.

I can't do nothing for the rest of the day. And then you feel like a hamster. And then it's just like you feel like you're trying to lose just yeah see that whole like trying it just mentally exhausts you like you tap out yeah see i don't even weigh myself because that was triggering for you have any idea how much you weigh i know i'm like probably in the 140s like maybe 150 but like but you're like very tall yeah yeah because i know like anna nicole too she was like 150 when she lost weight but i'm like she was very so i thought oh why was 150 like but i'm like five threes so it's like it's all relative and stuff like that how did you um

how did you get online in the first place so did you really start 2022 was the first time ever on social media or is this like your rebrand your comeback in 2022 were you on prior and just deleted content or um i i okay so like when quarantine started i was like oh let me make a tiktok for fun and stuff like that and i wanted to do it and i was making all these silly tiktoks and stuff but like i just never kept up with it so it really wasn't until like sugar and spice came into my life and they were like wait no you're so smart you need to make videos wait how did you guys meet through michael like me and michael went to a party in brooklyn one night okay i don't know if i want to go but yeah i know i met them there michael is great yeah he does great hair he does my hair when i do classes he's so

great i love them so much i told them they should all move out you guys all should move out here in this area because they like love the vibe so you met them through michael and then when was this what year 2022 yes okay and then you should get online and you're like okay yeah right away you're just like yeah well like spice was trying to encourage me for a while and i was just like oh yeah okay yeah and then it wasn't until sugar was like i kid you not alisa you're gonna go viral and i was like oh okay yeah they're deep in their spirituality too they knew they could see it well you have like this light so as much as I'm like honored to be like your first like interview like they kind of saw it first they knew the light because I saw it through them and I was like wow so they saw your light I see the light that's why I was

like so excited I was like there's so many so many layers to you so many levels did you model in New York no I didn't what because I know you said your vibe was supermodel obviously you're tall I always wanted to look like a supermodel so I made myself but like yeah no I would get the model question all the time in New York and stuff like that but no I never got signed or anything did you try I sent them my Polaroids but they never got back no way you're probably too young for America's Next Top Model. Do you remember that show with Tyra? Iconic. Did you love? No, I grew up watching it with my

mom. Oh my god, talk about fatphobic though. Right? Honestly, me and Spice and Sugar, we've been re-watching it because it's interesting to watch it with new eyes and stuff like that and I'm like, oh my god, I can see why this is so triggering. And you know what? Me and my mom used to watch it and I'm like oh my god I could see why this was so triggering and you know

what me and my mom used to watch it and like I had one of those moms that was like always working out in the living room it's like I've got to lose weight so it's like being a child I kind of like puts that in your head too like skinny's better always that's why I was saying diets we had slim fast in our fridge all the time yeah I'm like okay I'll have a slim faster she did Richard Simmons or the fit like all those things I'm like okay I'm gonna do it too I don't think it was like their fault necessarily yeah no they were just like victims of what society was doing at the time being so skinny as possible yeah that's what I remember too where did you grow up New York so you're from there oh my god that's so cool yeah no I was born in the Caribbean St. Vincent and the Grenadines, but I moved there when I was

six, so I'm a new UACA. Okay, yeah. Oh, my God. That's so funny. I would have thought you were like Valley Girl. I'm a new UACA. Oh, my God. Do you miss it?

I do. Oh, yeah. I can see it. I can see the vibes. How long have you been in LA? Oh, it's about to be a year on September 4th. Oh, my gosh. Yeah.

Do you think you'll stay for a while or you think- I have no idea. I feel like the universe brought me here for a reason so i'm just going with the ride i love that you should that's the way you should do in life i think yeah i think la is meant for you for a minute if you or for a lifetime if that's where it goes because i think everything seems to have like flourished for you like a lot recently so like yeah no like definitely my tiktok has like blown up since i moved here that's so interesting i wonder and it's not even that you like collab like you've done a couple of sugar and spice it's not like you collabed with a bunch of people you really

did it on your own which i always think is like so fascinating like i love talking to people when they first start out because i'm like how how did it happen like where who's sharing it how does it become viral i guess tiktok is cool for that way they can make anyone viral and you could keep going viral if you're entertaining people follow you yeah i feel like a lot of tiktok users have like short attention spans and they really want to be entertained most of the times and stuff like that so and you come right off the bat you're like right off the bat your tiktoks are like in the first seconds they grab you you're very just yeah the hook so good and who's filming because someone's filming you're not on tripod just like. Yeah, the hook. So good. And who's filming? Because someone's filming. You're not on a tripod.

No, they're so good. Because the movement. Spice is the one laughing in the back. I love that. Oh my gosh, you all are like close, close. I remember when I saw them for our last collab and I literally asked about you so much. I was just like, I need to know about Carmel and Peta. Like, is she like that?

Yeah, no, they told me you were over. Then I was like, damn, the one week I'm not like over there. I know. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. When I went over there and then I was like, damn, the one week I'm not like over there. I know. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. When I went over there and then they came over here. And I was just so fascinated because they have like such a cool friend group. But I was always fascinated by you.

I didn't know you guys were that close. And they were filming. Because the filming makes it. Everyone puts theirs on a tripod. But when you have movement, it's so good. Like it just makes it feel like you're like on a reality show or a talk show or something like that. Yeah, Spice is so good for that. So good.

I'm like, wow. And you guys just go out at night and film? Because you're always at night. Yeah. Because like we usually go on our long walks and stuff like that. That's just part of the habit or whatever. Yeah. No. Like so basically when I first started, like I like had a mushroom trip or whatever. And like I gave myself so much advice and I I was like, okay, do your makeup every day, like record every day, and make it a part of your lifestyle. So I was like, well, I'm going for a walk every day. So let me just put makeup on and like, put the phone up. So that's what I wondered. You're going on walks in full glam. Yeah, no, but like, it was just part I incorporated content into my lifestyle to make it easier for me. So that's how like like I guess walking content started for me

interesting so you incorporated content into your lifestyle to make it easier interesting so just kind of like every day you're like this is my routine I'm gonna do this well well yeah yeah yeah so it's like and that's what you do you just do that daily do you still go out daily and do this not as much anymore when I first started I, okay, I've got to be posting. It was like in the post eight times a day era. Were you? Yeah, sometimes. And now what is your schedule?

Like I try to go for a video a week and stuff like that. But I'm more so focused on YouTube because TikTok's community guidelines are like there. Oh, do you get flagged? Yeah. Really? Yeah. Maybe it's the haters flagging you because i feel like your content is no they do they hate me and they're they can do that on tiktok too and tiktok is like robots so you have to like you can't really talk

to someone do you appeal it because like yeah youtube's where to go also youtube's the way to go better yeah tiktok doesn't pay anything but it's but having a t a TikTok can make people go find your YouTube. And you're so smart because now you're posting your YouTube clips on your TikTok. Yeah. So people can go and watch. Yeah, I know. That's basically what I'm doing now, like just promoting my YouTube on my TikTok. Because, like, they want.

The white chocolate macadamia cream cold brew from Starbucks is made just the way you like it. Handcrafted cold foam topped with toasted cookie crumble. It's a sweet summer twist on iced coffee. Your cold brew is ready at Starbucks. For me to make this motivational content for them, but it's like if I'm going to get a strike, no thanks. Yeah, so go to the YouTube. And your YouTube to me is where I really resonate with you. Like I really do.

I think your TikToks are so funny and I always think everyone should keep posting TikToks because it just makes them relevant it's where it's at um but your YouTubes are just so good and I like I love the content you post in there because it's just different you know it's you have such a different um way of delivering things on YouTube than most people I think people are so over edited they do the podcast although you should do a podcast too podcasts are very interesting I want to make a podcast but it's just like starting one I'm just like I don't really know the ins and the outs of it. You just need a microphone and a camera. And you have a fancy camera.

Your camera's boosh. I was like, look at your camera. I'm like, I do iPhone. And you're like, your camera's nice. Obviously, Sugar and Spice are technical too. All you need is like a good setup. I need a really good mic and a setup and stuff like that because I've gotten a couple of different mics and they're still complaining about my audio.

Wait, really? I'm actually really bad at audio. I need a great mic. No, I need a good mic because my volume is kind of low. I know. I'm trying to like match yours because yeah, I like it. It's better that way. When you have such a like a loud voice and it's like piercing, yours is calming. You could say anything. And I think again, that's why the ones where you are like quote unquote yelling or just, you know, getting people through like it's, there's also something just soothing about it. It's like, I love being yelled at by this person. It's so funny because

I'm just like, the way they react and get so triggered. Now, I know, like, it's triggering, but at the same time, I'm like, can't you tell that I'm acting? No, girl, I can't. Like, I'm about to bust out into a laugh. But that's what makes a really good troll it's like camera cut me and spice are like no it makes a good troll it makes a good troll because i i had no idea either i didn't know who i was gonna get today i was like it has to be a character i don't know and then that may be but you know what i like i really appreciate like being a character because in a way like if they think i'm a bitch then that means they respect me and stuff like that that's true too yeah like I'd rather be perceived as like like I don't know like she

she might be mean she might be this I'd rather that than like someone taking feeling they can take advantage of me because I feel like that's a thing a lot of pretty girls go through like yeah let's talk when you're too nice yeah stuff like that how does that come with dating then like being pretty and dating because you do talk about pretty privilege which I totally I don't get it because I'm not like a stereotypical pretty girl but I get it where it's like I look at pretty girls okay well no you are though not the standard I think of course you're giving bombshell I mean I try to emulate bombshell but you know bombshell is Holly it's you it's Christine you know it's those it's the bombshell the tiny and the put together i don't think bombshell necessarily

has to be tiny i think i don't know it's like there's just something about curves and body that's just very like well thank you well i'll just say i'm not like you know not like of men maybe 10 of men would find me attractive but as opposed to you 95% of men are gonna find you attractive so that's where I guess it is how does dating go about with that are you like do you as your standard tie or do you not care like I'm gonna grind it looks ugly are you ugly are you like no you have to be up there too no I work hard on myself so like I mean he doesn't have to be as pretty as me. Never that, but... Do you like pretty? I like tall, loyal... They have to be attractive to me.

Okay. Yeah, I have to be attracted. What's attractive to you? What's your type? If you had a celebrity... I love celebrity crushes. I have a million. Who's your celebrity crush?

Do I have a celebrity crush? Do you not? I don't think I have one. I don't think I have one. I'm shocked. Most of us either. So many people don't have celebrity crushes. My makeup artist says, I don't have a celebrity crush. I'm like, how do you not have a celebrity crush? No,'t think I have one. I don't think I have one. I'm shocked. Most of us either. So many people don't have celebrity crushes. My makeup artist says, like, I don't have a celebrity crush.

I'm like, how do you not have a celebrity crush? No, I don't have one. There's not someone you see and be like, oh, yes. No, I like the male model type, though. OK, who's your male model crush? Or you don't know? Josh McGregor. Oh, my god.

That's fine to picture him. I can't believe I said that out loud. God, he's so hot. Really? Is he single? I have no clue. Oh, you don't look them up? I look everyone up.

No, honestly, when they're just that hot, I'm just like, you're just pretty to look at. I'm just going to hit that like button and that's it. Do you ever slide into DMs? No. Never? No. Do you just not care right now? You're just like, I'm in LA doing my thing.

I don't care. Which you shouldn't. You're young, but. No, definitely. Like, I'm definitely not focused on dating right now. Yeah. But I love that. I love that about sugar, too. Like, you guys have, like, everything going. So it's like, why? focused on dating right now but I love it about sugar too

like you guys have like everything going because I was like why why even date right now unless you find someone like Michael and Spice I feel like that man I've always told myself that that man is gonna find me and that's what I read in um the love book for what is that called it's about relationships with Esther Hicks basically there's a chapter um finding your perfect partner and they were just saying it's basically already queued up for you lined up for you there's nothing you have to do for this person to come in your life so like i've always told myself that like he'll find me when he finds me i think that's so true i was so worried all in my 20s i was so worried about who i'm how i'm gonna find someone to marry me and like no guy ever

liked me i dated one guy kind, but he did not like me. Never lived with a guy and I was so worried about it. And like the minute I stopped worrying about it does kind of like present yourself to you. Yeah, it's already queued up, lined up. Don't worry about it. Like when I think about like my great relationships and friendships and stuff like that, like I wasn't trying to meet Spice or Sugar like at that time in my life. Like I just happened to meet him.

And it changed your trajectory. Yeah's yeah i find that really interesting that man's gonna find me like literally too because you're like out there all over the internet you send this one into your dms and you're gonna be like hey yeah you need to wait too because i always just feel like you know people people settle a lot i think that's like when divorce happens like when you wait and you hold out for like the right perfect one one. Yeah. I'd rather wait. Yeah. Well, you're also very like young too. Manifesting money.

You talk a lot about that. Well, how do you think, what is your technique on this? Like, cause here's the thing, right? I read a lot about money manifestations and I believe in it. Do you? I do a lot. I read so much about particularly money manifesting. That I've always attracted to.

I always talk about it and people are like, why are you so obsessed with like attracting money? That's literally why I got into spirituality because I was like, okay, I want more money. And I think you can. But how is it, right? And people ask me this all the time. I wanted to hear your take on this. If you have $0 in your bank account, they say act like you have the money. Like you can spend all the money in the world.

But like when you physically don't, how do you manifest? How do you think rich if you don't have it in your bank account? Well, honestly, there's been like a lot of times in my twenties where I've been like broke. So I like, I learned, I learned. What do you do in that situation? What I like to do is like dip into the past where I was a time where I was prosperous and stuff like that. Cause it It's like you can go back into your past and you can relive a vibration of trauma or stress, but you could also really relive a vibration of prosperity. So that's what I like to do. I like to go back to, oh, you remember that time when that came in? Remember that time you wanted that? And then it miraculously showed up. So I like to remind myself of how like abundant I have been

and all the things that I've wanted for and I have got. So that kind of puts me back into like, oh, this is just another one of those times. Right. Money, I think money is so much of a flow. And I just know on the abundance, which I'm like really big into too, is like, you know, there's endless amount of money. Like anyone can have an abundance of money if you like think that way if you think about it I love the angel numbers 888 I was born May 8th 1988 so I'm very much into abundance infinite you know all those kind of

things I am a Taurus Taurus is about like material wealth yeah oh luxury I'm so you're the money yeah I'm driven by money I love finding ways to make money I just I love I'll do anything for it I just think it's I don't know I think it's just fun to make some people are not driven by money. I love finding ways to make money. I love it. I'll do anything for it. I don't know. I think it's just fun to make. Some people are not driven by money at all. I respect that too. I'm like, gosh, I wish I could be that way. I don't. Money magnets over here. I love vibrating

like having the same vibrations like right now our frequency. I'm like, wow, both of us are just radiating at this level of money and you're giving me skinny radiation. i'm like wow watch me get skinny in three months after this oh literally i'm gonna stop thinking about i'm gonna go for walks every day and just stop thinking about it literally don't think about it what if that happens literally like i was like oh i'm gonna do a liquid fast today and i started going crazy i was like all i can think about is food right now and stuff like that and i was like like, wait, like, you know what?

I'll be more successful if I just have my one meal and like not think too much. Yes. Because what happens, we can talk about this because like you have a video about binge eating. And I do have a binge eating disorder for sure. Like I didn't even know that was an eating disorder when I had it as a kid. Like I would starve myself throughout the day or for a couple days and then just go crazy at night or like crazy on the weekends or whatever. And it is one of those things because you think like, oh my God, I'm starving myself. So then when you have your like one meal, you just like crave everything in.

And sometimes I'd binge for days. And it's just like when you could rather just have what you want, have a little bit of it and then feel good about it. And then you don't have to like binge. But my binging is my problem. I can't stop it. And in your video, that's why I like your YouTube because I feel like if you talked about binge eating on TikTok it would be like put the food down you know like you're fat whatever but your YouTube video is very like I don't know that's not gonna brush it it's like no you're gonna binge and that's okay and it's like just really what and it's hard with binging

disorder it's so hard to like get something in my head but you're sad like how are you gonna feel after and I think that's something I've never asked myself because I always get sick after but I never think about it in the moment you And I think that's something I've never asked myself because I always get sick after, but I never think about it in the moment, you know? Yeah, no, that's something that really helped me out. Like, in 2022, like, I'd go to this store because, like, I love snacks. Do you? Of course.

I can't snack anymore. No, I love snacks. I love snacks, too. So, like, that's, like, my one thing. Like, I want to feel satisfied and I just love having my snacks. So, I'd go to this store and I'd be, like gotta look cute on camera but like I want a snack and like I've got the munchies so I would like be in the I'd be looking at the back of it I'm like okay well how is this gonna make me feel because that's the thing when you're extremely depressed and that's actually

the only reason I started asking myself this question because I was like so depressed and I was like you know what if I ate really bad tonight I might want to end it all really bad tomorrow so how do I want to feel and I noticed like just eating lighter and stuff like that it really helped my mental health and then I learned that your gut bacteria is linked to your mental health so that literally just made me how do you want to feel yeah that's but that's a smart thing to ask because a very like surface level version of this is like when we go to the movies and I eat the popcorn and the butter I always get sick 10 out of 10 times I'm always throwing up after yet I do it every time I go to the movies and I'm like why don't I just like remind myself like I'm gonna get sick and it's like it's something I don't consciously think about so when I watched that particular

video of yours yesterday I'm like that's actually so smart because there's nothing that's gotten through my head yet to help me with the binge eating sort of thing and so that was like that's smart because I know exactly even in this moment I know exactly how I feel when I start getting sick when I eat too much and it's like that's and honestly sometimes you're still going to get the popcorn and that's okay like sometimes you're just going to want a popcorn depending on how you're feeling and that's okay mean, you know what it's going to do. But at the same time, like, I feel like either decision is okay. But I feel like just incorporating that question in more than often, you're going to be like, okay, well, I don't want to feel too bad tomorrow.

I've got to do this. Right. Right. Or just, you know, have that popcorn and have just a little bit. Because I always like to stuff myself until I'm sick. So that way the next day I don't want to eat. I'm going to feel so sick. I'm not going to eat.

And then I forget that feeling. But I think it's so interesting. And there's that perfect juxtaposition between your TikTok you and YouTube you too. It's like you're very compassionate in that sense. You're like, it's okay if you do that. But TikTok you might be like, don't do it. Put it down. Don't eat that popcorn.

Well, that's what they want to hear. How do you switch? It's so funny how you switch between the two. Yeah, I know. I threw those donuts on the floor and then i went me and spies we went to the donut shop and i was like donuts on me donuts are my favorite those are my weakness yeah no me too and they are the worst for you like if they say if you want to gain weight for like movie roles people just eat a bunch of donuts

but it's so good now they're so good um where do you see yourself in five years from now? Super rich. Okay. Just like you. Yes. Oh, man, I love it. Manifest it. I would love a lake. Will you rise with the sun to help change mental health care forever?

Join the Sunrise Challenge to raise funds for CAMH, the Centre for Addiction and Mental Health, to support life-saving progress in mental health care. From May 26th to 30th, Canadians will rise as one and show those living with mental illness and addiction that they're not alone. Help CAMH build a future where no one is left behind. So, who will you rise for? Register today at sunrisechallenge.ca.

That's sunrisechallenge.ca. What's better than a well-marbled ribeye sizzling on the barbecue? That's sunrisechallenge.ca. Instacart has you covered. Download the Instacart app and enjoy $0 delivery fees on your first three orders. Service fees, exclusions, and terms apply. Instacart. Groceries that over-deliver. Gorgeous condo in Battery Park. Where's Battery Park? New York? Yeah. Okay.

And I would like to live in the hills too. Yeah? A hills home. But some guy's gonna buy that. Yeah. We're just putting that out there. I home but some guy's gonna buy that yeah we're just putting that out there i have a feeling you're gonna buy it i feel like you'll definitely attract rich i think you're gonna have no i believe i can afford it but for sure oh you're gonna have the man do it why not honestly why not that's a good goal to have out there yeah and i want to

be a dog mom oh do you not have one you don't have any animals no pets no my sister has one i'm like a dog auntie right now but like i've got the dog itch so i see myself being a dog mom oh do you not have one you don't have any animals no pets no my sister has one i'm like a dog auntie right now but like i've got the dog itch so i see myself being a dog mom what kind of dog my dream dog is the frenchie but like at this point i just want any dog like i want something i love oh i know i don't know how people pick dogs i had a dog for like a week it was gifted to me i gave it to my sister the dog is fine but it's hard it's a lot of work but i know people i don't know how they pick them like people always are so connected to their dog i'm like how did you guys find each other like people are so connected to their animals yeah i have no idea how that well others i guess it probably present itself to you oh my

god yeah no you know what i learned i learned like prior to like incarnating in your body and stuff like that they're like those that make agreements like be your dogs and stuff like that and that's why like some people get so bonded and they say that like sometimes it's your angel that comes in the form of a dog because a lot of people are like oh no my dog saved me like through the hard time and stuff like that it's interesting i once heard a dog talk to me for real it needed the passcode to my phone it's crazy i was also on mushrooms but mushrooms are very natural i think it does i swear to this day that i actually helped my wife so much do you still do microdose i don't i like just do them every couple months and stuff like that but like just when i need to check in and stuff because the information i get from it helps

me so much like i'll voice memo myself and it's just like I'm a wizard I'm like okay I'm saying it's opening it to another realm I actually didn't do them that much one I was hard for me to find mushrooms but I didn't do it that much because I was a little scared of the two times I did it one like things were like glowing which I thought was amazing the whole world glowed and I was like this is amazing and then two was the dog talking to me someone's dog and I couldn't remember my passcode to my phone, and the dog gave me the passcode to the phone, and it was so interesting. I was like, wow, there's like a whole other realm of this world. I do believe in mushrooms, and they're very natural, right?

Yeah, of course. It's not like – They're legal in California. Oh, are they? Yeah. Where do people – I mean, I don't know. I never knew where people found them. I got them at the dispenser.

No way. Is that new that they do that? Yeah, it's new. It just got legalized no way did you know that oh my god okay i know that's so cool yeah no it's those look i don't advocate any like if you don't want to be like i guess if it's legal but like hallucinogens are just a different world i think they're just like they open your mind up wait i have a question for you yes okay so how like do you feel about like being a character, do you feel about, like, being a character online?

Do you feel like that, like, works better? Like, how do you feel like people respond to your character versus, like, actual Trish? Ooh, it changes a lot, and I change a lot with it, too. It's like, you know, early on, I was, like, trying to be offensive and shocking, and that's, like, still bites me to the butt to this day. People are like, remember, you said this, this, and this, and just then. So, like, it'll, like, follow you around follow you around forever which is like yours isn't as bad mine have I've said definitely offensive things just to be shocking and it's annoying that you know I was also very believable so people like no she didn't

change um and then you know I feel like now I put on a character to more just like entertain myself entertain the TikTok people so the ditzy one you, I think it's like fun because characters are fun. If you think about TikTok, you or anyone, you know, it's just funner to watch than like, you know, because even you as a regular person, me as a regular person, you know, we're still fun, but we're not as fun as our characters. You know what I mean? But people will judge you on it for sure. I mean, there's probably going to be half the comments being like, no, she's fat phobic.

But then hopefully if they're like watching this, they'll see, oh no, there's like a real person. She's an entertainer. She's getting this part of us. But it is hard. I feel like, do you feel that you suffer at all with your mental health from like those articles being written or people saying that you're fat phobic and stuff? No, I've built a really thick skin in regards to it.

Like I've definitely gotten to a point where I'm like, okay, no comments. No comments today. You might see something you don't like. Right. I try to respond to the positive ones and stuff like that, but more than often, I'm going to see something I don't really want to see. Yeah. Do you have a moderator?

Anyone monitoring your comments? I don't. Sometimes you have to. Honestly, on YouTube, I have Moses do it for me. TikTok is pretty nice to me, so I don't need it. No, TikTok is so crazy to me. they say they say everything under the sun and that's the thing i've come to learn they literally will say anything like anything better she's like what's the craziest thing they're like your brows are too close oh far apart they're like filament in

they have to find something they find something You can be the most perfect person. And they're like, let me find something. They're like, your face is swollen, but your body is a skeleton. Oh, my God. They say everything and anything. Oh, you're not really that skinny. Like, let me not even go down there. So it's both.

It's you're a skeleton. Also, like, you're not that skinny. That's a lot of what? They say anything and everything because they're so triggered. That's what it is. They're triggered. Well, yeah. And I'm like, okay, the video's doing good, I so triggered that's what it is they're triggered well yeah maybe i'm like okay the video's doing good i guess you know what it is it is interesting because like when you going back to your first quote about like you know you don't if you hate

something you're indifferent to you don't give your energy to it so it is something that they obviously have some sort of envy obviously the pretty yeah no like that's what i also found out too i was like oh it's a combination of mean and pretty. That's really getting under the skin. So I was like, okay, let me put my lashes on for this one. Mean, pretty, skinny. It's the new mean girls. It's like motivating for them or whatever. Yeah. Or like you said, triggering. Oh man, this is the girl in high school that would hate me, which is also why I was nervous. I was like, oh my gosh. I knew, I knew, you know, I knew about you obviously because we had the mutual. i was like okay i know she's like a nice

girl but i was a little nervous oh no because i didn't know if you're gonna come in character i was like is she gonna yell at me she's gonna be like look at your thighs you kind of tease you oh that's good your voice is good you should do asmr doing this like that you should get a really good microphone you gotta teach me actually though, though. It's almost like... No, I watch your channel and you're just like, with the nails and everything. Oh, yeah. Your nails would be everything. But I think your genre could be like, almost degradation.

Like, people like, oh, oh, the mean girl genre of ASMR. I do this all the time. Toxic girl does your makeup. You'd be like, wow, those eyebrows are really ugly. I have tons of ASMR videos. I've done that. You would be so good at it. Oh, teach me your way. Let's do a little mean girl ASMR.

So, like, you get your microphone really close and, like, pretend like you're doing someone's makeup, but you're, like, the toxic girl doing makeup. You really think those lashes make you look good? Really? That's an interesting blush choice. Your ASMR is good. Your voice is asmr it'd be so good oh my god yeah and then you could just be like here let me pop those big pimples for you yeah no boys are gonna like you but don't worry i'm here i'm gonna like fix your hair for you oh no that'd be so good oh my god i love it

i get really into asmr i get like like really. Mean Girl ASMR is a huge thing. It's actually called Toxic Girl. If you YouTube it, it comes up to so many. They get millions of views. I think that's your calling. I think you have a lot of callings. I don't know what it is. That's my next thing.

Yes. Because what you do is so good on YouTube, but it would. It changed my life. ASMR, I started doing again. I started in 2015, but I started doing a whole channel to it like two years ago. Changed my life. CPMs are crazy. You have to learn. Watch two two videos you'll catch it because you already it already is what you do actually

yeah no i got a comment they were like i didn't even hear what she said i'm just here for the asmr i'm like what it's no i'm like in a trance it's like crazy it's like i mean you're like gorge but i'm like in this trance and it's crazy there's just like this calming like energy to it so that's why i was like this is their calling so like I know you've been a content creator for 16 years and stuff like that like so I wanted to know like back then when you first started going viral and you started like seeing all the hate about you and like you didn't have moderators or help or anything like that like what was your first visceral response to like like starting compared to like how you react now and how you view things i spiraled i was very i am mentally ill but i was very mentally ill and untreated so i have

like borderline i have a personality disorder so i take everything like very personal which i feel like you can separate yours a little better mine i took very personally even though i knew i wasn't this character like i would still get anxiety as soon as i posted a video that i like you would offend people i got anxiety i was like are they gonna find my apartment are they gonna find my address like i always thought someone's gonna kill me yeah it's scary so not and it it does happen i mean people show up people really dislike you enough you know and that's like the scary part of it so i did it for the check and entertainment but then i'm like oh i got really scared people would like come to my house and it really was scary and then I would spiral myself I was always alone I always lived

alone um never lived with anyone and so it was always just like it made me really really scared and now when I get hate I'm just like older in general like I'm just older I changed a lot like I do see like for you in the future too I feel like your character is great and I feel like you could actually be like on a TV show with it. Like, I feel like you could be acting in a show kind of like, um, I don't know. I feel like a lot of reality stars will go on TV and like,

kind of like play themselves, not that you're a reality, but you know what I mean? But, um, that's how I look at TikTok. I'm like, this is reality TV.

Totally. Yeah. That's how I see you almost. And it's like, I see you, you could go on Glee and you could play like Sue Sylvester or something like that because you have that character. But I do see like in the future, I feel like you will be more personality based because

you have such a good personality. And I just, that's why I'm like drawn to you. But I think with me, when I started changing and stuff, I'm like, okay, I don't want to hurt people. I want to just be more myself. So now when I hear mean comments, I get numb to them, I guess. I don't know. My biggest is fat, right?

People just love to call me. Also, they know I'm insecure about it. So that's like the big one. But if they call me anything else, like I usually know I'm not that, you know what I mean? If they call me something like, okay, that was a troll or I'm not that. They just see something and I'm not, you know. That's why I feel like you got to just know yourself like for doing a content creating job because people will try to tell you who you are so much. They try to do that to me all the time. Yeah. Like you were never fat.

Like, they were for everything. Oh, but isn't that annoying too? I'm like, okay. You know what? I'm guilty of that too. Because when I saw you, I was like, she's not fat. But then it's like, but to you, you were. That was your heavy.

Yeah. Because you weren't like a size one. And I feel like when you're tall, like, they masculinize you. They're like, oh, tall, big, blah, blah, blah. Yeah. So. So it's just like, yeah. No, I think that's, but that's just like yeah no I think that's but that's

not if I guess if that's like the worst thing but not to like compare or whatever but at least no one's like talking about you as like a personality like that you're a bad person or something everyone's just like no you're just I don't know pretty which I guess can be an insult I know it can't be an insult pretty can't be an insult what's the great what's the worst part of pretty privilege like what is the what's the best and the worst part about being pretty I feel like when you're really attractive and I feel like you can resonate with us like you're a target like your target for people like people want to take your light and energy like I noticed like when I was like living on Wall Street and stuff like that it's like people were really really nice to me and stuff like that but it's like you gotta always wonder like why are they being so

nice like so I feel like you really become a big target for manipulation because it's like they're like oh there's a rich pretty girl oh her dad's probably paying for everything blah blah blah so I feel like you become more a target than anything because it's kind of like the light bulb effect it's kind of like being blonde you're like the brightest bulb in the room and like you've got the spotlight on you in a way so I feel like you become a really big target for manipulation from people yeah from men and women because like a lot of people just want information from you like they want to figure out how you're looking so good what you're eating like how you're living how you're making your money

and all these things like that they don't actually want to know you or know about you whatsoever trying to suck something from you yeah interesting so it's kind of like they also put you on this pedestal that's like like you don't necessarily know how you're being perceived right i don't know if that made any sense no yeah yeah you're trying to figure out like what what do they see what do they want yeah it's usually people wanting things like yeah you get a lot of privilege and like things become easier and stuff like that but like you definitely are a target for manipulation and stuff like that like or also i feel like harassment you know people see and they don't want you to feel pretty so they're like well she's not all that you know she's not that pretty i see that with pretty girls i see that a lot of pretty girls a lot of

gas lighting like you're not that pretty you're not that great and so then they want to like tear you down but i love that you still keep going with it as you should and honestly i gotta get better at that too because it's like if there's one thing okay i'm fat but there's one thing i'm like oh no i'm not ugly though so when people come yeah no never you know what i mean like never and it's like in fact i was like okay well yeah i'm fat but i'm like still pretty and i'm still killing it and crushing it but do you get scared successful i mean that's all i wanted to be that's why that's what's so beautiful to me because it's like i feel like so many fat girls are out there like telling themselves these stories that they can't go nowhere they can't do nothing they can't be

pretty they can't this but it's really a story you tell yourself like what trisha and samara yeah okay i'm then that's why i don't mind being the fat girl for everyone because you know you can't we need you yeah i'm here for you fat girls don't worry we can do it because i did i wanted to be in playboy but i was too fat so then you know what only fans came along guess what i got to be in playboy i'm the centerfold every single day on only fans okay so i think there is something to that it's like these chairs i had my husband built these chairs because i feel tiny in them i'm like oh maybe i once broke a chair at a cheesecake factory true story at the bar and so my husband builds these oversized furnitures to make me feel small so i am now tiny and little because of these giant chairs and you look even smaller and i have a tiny girl next

to me i'm like wow you look really tiny but. Do you ever get scared to go in public? Okay, like in the city, I would get recognized every other day. And it was sweet because I was making spiritual content at the time. Very motivational, life advice and stuff like that. So I'd get a lot of sweet people coming up to me and stuff

like that. But like, I don't really see a lot of people where I live when I go outside. So that's like... Really? In LA? Because you're like in the yeah I know your area like the valley so like but there's so many people over there yeah but I feel like it's different to New York because New York is so condensed and packed and there's so many people on the street but I feel like since everyone drives here there's not a lot of people walking so I've definitely gotten recognized and stuff like that but everything is so spaced out and broad here. So it's less anxiety for sure. But that's what I do like about being a character

online. Cause it's like, even if you saw me and you recognize me, you're just like, wait, is she going to yell at me? Like my social anxiety. So it kind of works in a way for me. Yeah, that's true. But then you're also like, yeah, both ways. Then people may not want to be like, I guess you don't need if you don't want friends. I mean, the people who support me will come up and the people who get it will get it. Yeah. But what about guy like what about just male attention that maybe doesn't they don't know you like you're going to Ralph's? Do you dress down or do you?

Oh, yeah, I do. To like kind of be more on the safety level. I mean, they literally like it doesn't even work, though. Like I was in like shorts and a t-shirt. I was, like, walking with my groceries yesterday. And this car, like, pulls over and is just like, hey, can I talk to you? I'm like, girl. What do you do in that situation?

I'm like, and then I just keep walking. Oh, no. Like, awkward smile. That's what I was wondering. But, yeah, no. I mean, I feel like dressing down doesn't help with, like, no. Like, awkward smile. That's what I was wondering. Yeah. But, yeah, no. I mean, I feel like dressing down doesn't help with, like, men. Can't stop the pretty. Can't hide the pretty under a t-shirt.

In fact, sometimes I think that makes – I have an issue with men sometimes. This is a recurring theme on this podcast, straight men in general. It's, like, sometimes they, like, even more. They're like, ooh, I see a t-shirt. I want to know what's underneath it, you know? Yeah, they're real predatory. They can be real predatory. Especially in L.A.

That's why I worry. Yeah, I'm just like it's so funny because like I got home and I was telling my sister I was like yeah girl you're right it happened to me again she was like well I told her what happened and she was like well that's not bad and we were like wait you just got solicited and you're saying that's not bad that's how bad they are it's it's sad too it's like oh or even maybe like what are you wearing saying that's not bad that's how bad they are it's it's not sad too it's like or even maybe like what are you wearing like what did you wear that someone stopped it's like you don't even think about that yeah and it's so disgusting does your do you live with your sister that's nice and so she she had the sleeve so she was bigger at one point well she's been like

fluctuating like we all do and stuff like that. She tried the Ozambic. She's done it the natural way and stuff like that. Especially when in for a more permanent solution and stuff like that. So, yeah. And it's working? Yeah, it's working so well. I'm like, wow. I know.

Maybe after I'm done getting pregnant. I want to have another baby, but then maybe do that. It's really intense. It's so different. But then they don't eat. She's doing liquid, right? Yeah. And barely getting

in 150 calories a day and that's the thing 150 yeah because like they make your stomach back so small that it can barely fit exactly right i like to eat like mentally i just like to have a little food in my mouth that's the thing like oh no i haven't got all my diet all this week but i'm thinking about the donuts on the weekend. Is that what you do? So you do moderation, basically. Yeah. Do you eat fast food? Do I eat fast food?

What fast food do I eat? Not really. You're not doing Taco Bell 2 a.m.? Oh, my God. Are you that friend? We shouldn't be hanging around Taco Bell 2 a.m.? No, I'm actually getting the Cinnabon Delights at 2 a.m. sometimes. Where do you get those?

Those Taco Bell. The little Cinnabon Delights? Oh,.m. sometimes. Where do you get those? The Taco Bell. The little Taco Bell. The little Cinnabon Delights. Yes, those were so big. I didn't know they still had them. Those are so good. Jeffrey Star used to talk about them all the time and I used to always get them. Those are so good.

So you do go to Taco Bell at 2 a.m. Because all the comments on that viral TikTok were like, my skinny friends do this too. Like, what? Of course. No, of course. I eat like, like I make those videos and then I go buy a donut. That's the real YouTube video you should do is I did this content and then I go eat. Of course I eat, like, like, I make those videos and then I go buy a donut, like. That's the real YouTube video you should do is I did this content and then I go eat. Of course.

Because, you know, that's the thing, like, I feel like no one, like, thinks about, like, on my end, all of a sudden it's, like, all this pressure to be skinny and I'm like, okay. Yeah. Like, and that's one thing, like, I also make sure to tell myself, like, I'm not letting these bitches give me an eating disorder. Like, I'm going to eat when I want to eat. Yeah. When I want to eat it, you know, mean that's the best that's the best and

it's not affecting you that's what i wonder if it affected your mental health or any of that stuff because eating disorders is kind of like a mental thing too you know yeah for the most part i mean for me anyways for my binge eating it's very mental because it's like oh god i want to be skinny but and like eating is like i find that like when we're younger and stuff like for me at least that was like my biggest fight. The eating? Especially bread. Oh my God. Like some warm baked bread.

Carbs are my favorite. I do pasta and bread all the time. What if you gained 50 pounds? How would you feel? Would you still be like making content like I love myself? Okay. So I've thought about that. I've thought about that because I feel like I'm cute and locked into being skinny and stuff like that.

Right. Because of the content. But I've thought about that. And if I gained 50 pounds, I would probably just transmute the energy and be like, well, this is normal, y'all. Let's get skinny again. Oh, would you try to go back? I thought maybe you're going to be like, y'all, like what you're saying is everyone had belly, everyone is fat.

Like this is the new beauty. This is the new pretty. I think if anyone can make the fat movement pretty again, it could be you. Yeah. If you got fat. Now that you have them wishing that on you because obviously you love being skinny. No, I would transmute the energy and stuff like that. Like I feel like secretly there's haters out there like, I just want to get fat.

I just want to get fat or something like that. Like it's going to ruin my life. But it's like, no. You know, honestly, fat i just want to get fat or something like that like it's gonna ruin my life but it's like no you know honestly like the more weight i gained on like only fans like the more people i got because there's like this whole genre of people wanting to watch you eat in your belly and it is like for me i don't like bellies but i'm like while i have it i'm like i'm just gonna use this for a minute capitalized capitalized you see i love that honestly i love that because it's like so many girls be at home, like just feeling bad about themselves and like just not like, honestly, I have so much respect for that. Yeah. You don't wait to lose the weight because my whole life I was like, don't wait to lose weight to live your

life. Yeah. Just go. Don't think about it. Then you lose the weight, right? Yeah, exactly. I mean, in a way that makes sense. That does make sense. It's like people wait until they're the perfect size. They just wait for perfection to start living their lives when they shouldn't. You can be getting better on the way there to your goal. Right, just not thinking about it. It's like I used to buy clothes that were too small for me. And I'm like, oh, when I fit into those clothes. And you know what?

All those clothes I never even wore. I was like, now I just buy the right size. And I can go out, look good. This is not. I had to squeeze in this one when I saw your dress yesterday I was like oh I don't have any dresses like that this is my extra large dress usually I'm a 1x but this is my XL dress but yeah just go out and do it buy the right clothes buy the right size you'll feel better buy a size bigger that's what I would say buy a size bigger and then you're really tiny you're like oh look how skinny I am in this outfit

I do that too it's the ultimate skinny girl hack I feel. It's so amazing. TikTok trends. What other TikTok trends would you like to try? Right now you have your own genre. Is there any popular ones you try? I'm not familiar with any. Do you not watch TikTok? Do you not scroll through? I scroll through but like my For You page is so random. What is your For You page? I always am curious um you know ever since i moved to la it's been so different but like it's literally so random like what like in manhattan it was like more beauty influenced and stuff like that like all the girlies with the clean girl aesthetic makeup and stuff like that now it's like oh my god when i first moved here it was bombarded with weight

loss content and honestly i didn't like it wait really no because it made me feel like i needed to be on a diet like it does yeah it was just like every other one like this is how you burn fat this is how you lose weight i'm like oh my god i just want to eat right now like leave me alone yeah that's your eating them crab back and cheese yeah which is when you watched when you watched me i'm like i used to eat crab back and cheese watching you it's my favorite i love crab it doesn't taste as do you like it to this day i like the spiral ones only today but it's like last you have to make two boxes of spiral because it's not as much as the yeah it tastes different the powder is definitely yeah i know it tastes different nowadays i don't know if

my like taste buds got used to to a better sense of taste. Right, because I saw you eating a salad on your TikTok. You're like, I'll just eat some salad. But you know what? That was just intentional, LOL. You don't eat salads? No, I do, I do, but not like that. Yeah, I try to get into the salad trend.

I can't. Yeah, no, because it's just so many ingredients, and I'm i'm lazy with it wait oh to make a salad right we could go get like i get them at like health nut you know where the kardashians with the shake us out i would have no idea how to make a salad i didn't even know you could like what do you put in it like lettuce and there's always so many ingredients that i just like i'm just like this is too much for my brain yeah it sounds way too complicated yeah what about the npc trend would i do that yeah have you done it have you tried it no but i think it's so fascinating you have the voice for it too you have the voice i think it's so fascinating i'm like y'all are making how much money like doing what yeah just getting the gifts you'll do an npc to the camera okay i'm gonna i'm gonna be a gift here okay ready

here i go i'm gonna give you gifts um here is a here's a cowboy hat on you. Thank you, Chris. Thank you, cowboy hatty. Here's a lightning bolt. Here's a hot dog. Another hot dog. Try to get those clicks, girl. Help me go viral,

okay? L-O-L. L-O- LOL or LLL? I said LOL. LOL. That's canceled now. I just realized that. Is it? It's like Ujiball.

I can't say that. Right? Was that Ujiball? Remember my co-host Oscar told me. It's like I just busted out laughing. I-G-J-B-O-L. Ujiball. Ujiball.

Gen Z or whoever the new generation. They officially canceled LOL. It's not Ujiball. But I like the generation they officially canceled lol it's not ujiball but i like the lol that's more yeah y2k vibes yeah mpc trend you nailed asmr you're going to do do you affirmations affirmations what do you mean like i guess you kind of do in the way of your tiktok like you know you are enough you are skinny you are this like you should do skinny affirmations like i am skinny i am yeah i do that to myself. Yeah. You don't do those? No. Like very like, I'm, I have all the money I need. Well, okay. Well that's the thing with the skinny affirmations and stuff like that. That's like focus on diet. Like it's the same thing. You're trying.

Oh, I see. Yeah. Rather than just thinking it. Rather than just creating a new habit. I don't want to manifest skinny either because I always think like, what if I get sick or something? Like, I want to be skinny. Yeah, right. And then it's like, oh, a left leg comes off and you're like lighter. No. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

No. I'm like, actually, let me just be healthy. That's what I try to say. I'm like, let me be healthy, which is why I try to like do the walking and stuff like that. Yeah. You don't do get ready with me's on TikTok? I don't because like i find like when

i talk about the makeup like no one listens but like if i talk about something else like literally any other topic but makeup it's like okay i'll get like engagement but um yeah no they don't watch them they'll be like oh my god your makeup like teaches and then they don't watch them so i'm like i feel like it's a waste of effort well maybe you should do a get ready with me but talk about something else so be like get ready with me while i tell you why you're a fat fuck they're gonna get for me get ready with me while i tell you you're a skinny queen and you can just tell people like you're so skinny like wow i wish i could be like you you look so great and like just do it as you're doing your makeup and then they would watch i like both i like both i think it's get ready with me fat there you go that's better like yeah get ready with me fat ass and you'd be like put the twinkie down and pick the eyeliner up

like instead of that cream cheese i would sell do that but like i feel like tiktok's gonna give me a strike so what are they striking for for bullying like I don't know hate speech yeah okay so maybe now's the trend not yet still keep with the content that's going viral and then you know yeah no I'm just in like for now I'm like am I promoting my YouTube era and they're like posting little YouTube clips and stuff like that because like YouTube is like a lot of work the editing and all that. So that takes time. You do it yourself? Yeah. So I finally got my editing time down to a day.

Oh my god. When I first did the first one, I was like, three days? This is not TikTok. Girl, I don't edit. I just throw it up. I throw up a full book. That's why I said, do it from your iPhone. Throw it up.

That's what I do. I'm not a good example because my YouTube channel has flopped lately. But I think the editing is where it's what I do. I'm not a good example because my YouTube channel has flopped lately, but I think the editing is where it's at for sure. YouTube is coming back. There was a moment where everyone was flopping on YouTube. I think it's making a comeback. Yeah, because of the YouTube shorts.

YouTube shorts? Do you post yours on there? I do. But my long form does way better. Interesting. Yeah. I noticed that. And like an eight-minute long form in comparison to a 38-minute long form?

The long form does better. Yeah. I think it's a combination. You have so much. You have the knowledge. You have the voice. You have the appearance. So it's like I don't know anyone else like you.

I really don't, especially on YouTube. Thank you. No one else is like I want to look at for that long. No one else I want to listen to for that long. And everyone else kind of, you know, they kind of wing it. They all say the same thing. I think you have taken all these books, all these spiritual practices, and it's like really you could tell you had your enlightenment, which I find so inspiring.

A spiritual Barbie is, that could be the Barbie in the next movie. You know, they all have like stereotypical Barbie and Dr. Barbie. You'd be like spiritual Barbie. I come on like, yeah. Well, you said angels. Maybe you're like angel Barbie. You're like up in heaven. You're like, hey Barbie.

That'd be so cute. That'd be so cute the vibe all right final to the camera can we get some carmelita fox however you want maybe some inspiration maybe some motivation and whatever character you want to be okay i would say if you are watching this and you deal with depression anxiety just keep going because you the story is not over yet you never know where you're gonna end up i didn't think i'd be in front of this god is right here ever in a million years so keep going it does get better yay oh my gosh yay that was beautiful truly you are the best speaker i've ever listened to i mean that i listen to all your tiktoks on youtube that was absolutely beautiful it is like an honor to be your first interview i'm shocked i'm shook i'm sure so many people are going to be wanting all of your energy

and stuff like that protected of course but also you know give out to the energy where you think fits little sprinkle of your carmelita energy everywhere more people need to be like you guys check out carmelita Fox. Check out her YouTube channel of the same name, her TikTok. Of course, I'm going to link everything below. I am telling you, like, I mean, Sugar and Spice saw you first, but I feel it too. I feel like you are this light that is just going to, like, spark. We're going to see you everywhere.

Thank you. And I know you're just going to live your best life. Even if you don't see it, I know you're going to live your best life. I think we'll see it, but even if you don't, you're just going to be having the ultimate life because you believe in it. Yeah. Or if it's him, it's you believing it.

I don't know. I love you so much. Thank you for being out here. Thank you for making the journey. And yeah, we'll see you guys next time on Jazz Church. Thank you.