Just Trish - Kristen McAtee On Life AFTER the Vlog Squad, CHEATING Ex & Friendship With Liza

Episode Date: March 14, 2024

Former Vlog Squad members reunited! Trisha talks with Kristen McAtee for the first time in 5 years and reveals how much life has changed since her breakup with Scotty Sire. Plus, Kristen spills the tea on why she thinks David Dobrik rarely included her in the vlogs. And Kristen updates Trisha on her friendship with Liza Koshy, as well as her relationship status after being cheated on.   Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Woo! Hey guys! Welcome back to the Just Trish podcast. Today it's not Just Trish, it's Just Trish and a blast from my past, Kristen McAfee! A blast from the past. It's so good to see you, dude. It's crazy to see you. It's 2018, 19, how many years is that? Six years? Six years. I know. I was like nervous. I was like, oh my gosh. Oh, I was nervous too. I was really nervous. Really?

Like driving up here, I was like, Leanna, like I'm freaking out. Wait, really? Yeah, I was nervous. Because you do do podcasting you've done it four years now so yeah i don't know i guess i i don't know it's just nervous i haven't seen you in a million years i know and i feel like even when we saw each other because we started like 2018 was like the big year we started each other and we saw each other again 2019 and i feel like both those years were just like trauma years for me so yeah i was a little chaotic i feel like i blocked out a lot of the past few years of my life so it's so interesting we were talking about that right before the podcast how you're like even childhood you said that you've like blocked stuff out and I've never heard that before yeah until recent and like a lot of people experience this

it's so common I mean like I was just saying it's it's a thing that the brain does with trauma and do you ever feel like it kind of pulls you out of your identity that you were as a kid oh yeah like even the adults around me would be like oh when you were a kid you used to do this is this and I'm like I don't remember that that doesn't feel like me and sometimes I even look at like baby pictures and I'm like that's me oh because I don't remember that time of my life different person when I look at like school photos I like have no idea who that is I'm just like oh that's so and like people do chalk it up they're like oh she's lying she's this whatever it's like some things I just don't remember that time of my life. Different person. When I look at like school photos, I like have no idea who that is. I'm just like, oh, that's so. And like people do chalk it up. They're like, oh, she's lying. She's this or whatever. It's like some things I just don't remember. And sometimes they come back and you're just like, was that my life? Like it's so bizarre.

I'm in a therapy called EMDR. I forget what the acronym stands for, but it's a lot of reprocessing of the brain. So memories will actually come back no and it's like that's a whole other podcast episode it's like a whole wait how like what's like the science behind like what's the so uh emdr is really good for like ptsd people that have ptsd and it's like eye movements where i literally follow like a light across the screen i do it over zoom but like people who do it in person it's kind of this like bar of light that you follow. And the eye movements, don't quote me, I'm not a therapist, but it's something like it rewires the way the neurons fire off with an association of a certain memory. Oh my gosh. So then you go through it and it's really different from talk therapy because

you're not talking it through. You're just kind of forced to sit with it with these eye movements and you tap. It's like bilateral stimulation. It's super science-y, but it's really cool. Wait, so how did you even like think? Like did someone refer you to specifically do this type of therapy? No, not really. I just needed – it was 2020. I needed a therapist so bad.

I feel like we all did that year. Like we're all stuck at home. And I, my manager, she was like, oh, I have a really good therapist. And I thought it was just going to be like general therapy. And it ended up being an EMDR specialist. And I, I didn't even know what it was at first. And we had our first like onboarding call and she obviously asked me all the questions of like my past. And she's like, I actually think you'd be a really good candidate for this. It's been four years now and I'm a different human. Really? So it actually helped you because I would think it could be like triggering to remember certain things. Well, it is. And then with the work that you do, it is uncomfortable, like in the moment and the sessions that you're really like

getting in the nitty gritty, but that's what that reprocessing does. So that when you, you know, cause you can't erase anything, all the traumatic things people go through, you can erase it. But when you remember it, you've done the work to kind of rewire your, like a what's firing in your brain. So the triggers aren't as strong. That's why it's good for people with PTSD. Wow wow and did you always know you had that like PTSD or did you ever think like oh I'm fine I'm normal like it's everything's fine I always I always thought I was fine and my sister she she's been in therapy for years too and she's always been like you need to go to therapy she remembered things you didn't exactly and I'm like I'm fine I'm fine yeah and then 2020 just like put my ass in check and sorry can I cuss yeah yeah go ahead do whatever yeah

but my ass in check and like I had no other option I had to go to therapy were you here in 2020 were you in LA yeah so this is when you're living with your girlfriend your two friends from childhood yeah so I had just so it was like right after my breakup that was January and then lockdown started in March and I lived alone at the time because they had just signed a lease with somebody else because I was living somewhere else. And I had to get an apartment alone, which was fine. Like I'm grateful I was able to do it. But you know, I'm fresh out of a breakup.

We're all isolated for COVID. And then I'm like mad depressed. And I was like, oh. Oh my God. That would be- Especially because how long were you, how long was your relationship? And I'm like mad depressed. And I was like, oh. Oh, my God. That would be. It was brutal. Especially because how long were you, how long was your relationship? It was like five years.

Five years. Like, so most of your adult life at that point. Early 20s too, which are like so developmental. Oh, yeah. And then to like not explore yourself in those years. It's crazy. I can't even imagine. I've never, my first relationship was literally at 30. So I have no idea what it's like to be in a relationship young, especially when we're like

living together. Yeah. Is it like, what was, do you think that was, again, I don't want to put like trauma into you, but was it something where you're like, I don't know. I don't know how that happens when people get in young relationships. I think, I don't know. I I I don't regret it for like at all yeah I think it was something I don't know how do I say this I've kind of always been a relationship person yeah I think it's just the way I move so I was I don't know I it was uh normal for me but in hindsight I do wish and like any early 20s people out there listening I wish I stayed single like those were the years to like learn so much of your independence and yourself and I feel like in those years as I'm naturally learning that I was learning it with the association of another human yeah so then when we broke up I was

like who the fuck am I alone that's terrifying so did you you just written a podcast I heard of recently because I love your podcast advice podcast i can't believe you i love it and i can't believe you've gone on four years it makes sense but it's like four years it's crazy but you're talking about the difference between like young relationships versus relationships now and like the intentions like you said i never even asked questions like do you want children in my early relationship but now that's like your first thing you ask people are along those lines the same questions yeah i my standards now like i mean i'm lightly dating right now like not really looking for anything serious but even the dates i've been on like i'm not like interview like so do you want kids but like i don't know i kind of like do the little questions to hint where they're at with

that because i don't the clock's ticking well are you 30 yet I'm 28 okay okay you have you have a lot of time but I know but I just think I want to be with my person for like a little bit I guess I don't know of course like I think that's the better way to go I feel like when we met I was like 32 and I was just like okay we need to get married this year have kids because like my clock was actually ticking and it still is I'm like okay we need to have this baby back to back but congrats by the way thank you so much I'm so excited we're so excited it's actually so much fun to be a mom I like love it do you see yourself doing that I do I go back and forth we literally were just talking about this this morning we were at a coffee shop and there was the cutest little girl and she was like

hanging out with us she was showing us her boots I was like okay maybe I do want a kid oh my god and a little girl because you're so fashionista they'd be like so cute so much fun dressing them up but I also picture myself with boys oh yeah like I do too I want like a boy that can I can like I don't know roughhouse with and like go like camping with and that's that's just kind of what I grew up around like very much outdoorsy things and I feel like I don't know I feel like the boy would like oh for sure that but yeah I don't know I go back and forth the kid thing um maybe maybe you'll have input on this I think about my childhood and obviously the circumstances are way different and something that my potential children will never be in but I have this like cloud over my head where I just I don't want to fuck up my kids that's how I feel I feel it now honestly just to be blunt like yeah that's what makes me kind of hesitant

to have them because it's just so much pressure it's so much pressure and you think about like our generation you know just people being fucked up basically from and a lot of our parents like didn't know I don't know if you're talking about parental stuff or just, you know, but it's like stuff our parents didn't know. They just worked. Yeah. It's crazy. It's a lot different. So I think because we've gone through stuff, I'm like feel a little more empathetic. Right. You know, we could raise a better generation. That's where I go back and forth. I'm like, well, since I'm already conscious of it, I'm probably not going to be that way. I think so. I was always told like, stop crying, keep your emotions. You know what I mean? And I think now it's like,

why are you upset? You know, like asking those questions. I think we can make it better. But I felt the same way, especially even now. I still, a lot of the stuff I defer to Moses because maybe you're better at parenting than I am at this certain thing. So it's definitely difficult. But that's especially you have that partnership where you're able to kind of like lean on each other and pick up where the other one feels like. I think that's the biggest thing is like a good partnership. Shout out to today's sponsor, Home Chef. Oh my gosh, this sponsor is absolutely amazing.

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a whole lot. Yeah, You talked about it too. I was kind of surprised. I thought you'd keep, and not that you were super public, not like your last relationship. I thought you'd keep a lot more, but you were talking about all of it. You're like, let me tell you. Because I was so sure. I was so sure that like we were, I had known him, I've known him like all my life. Not all my life.

Since I was like 18. So like 10 years. Yeah. And I was like so sure he was the one. And my mother cheated on me that's great was that so you've been in two serious relationships uh i had a high school one yeah three which is wild at 28 and this was the first time you were cheated on with this last relationship this third relationship i was cheated on in my high school relationship too okay so that

was like kind of like looser terms right it was like towards the end yeah this was like literally i was visiting him for like three weeks came home three days later cheated on me how did you find out i literally was laying in bed one night and i could not sleep and i already kind of struggled with sleep but like this was different and i literally like sit up and I'm like shaking. And I was like, I need, I need to call him. Like something's up. Like it's just in my gut.

And I called. He didn't answer three times. Oh my God. He calls me back right away. And he's like, it's on FaceTime. And he's in his car buckling his seatbelt, like all frantic. Hey, hey, hey, hi. Mind you, he's like mad chill like this guy is

not somebody who's oh frantic when he answers the phone like normally it's like hey babe what's up oh you can't sleep what's going on oh he's in his car and it's like late where he's at he's on the west coast i was like what are you doing and you already know where this is going i knew right away the second he was in his car he did he lie or did he admit it? Yep, he lied. He was telling me he was at his mom's and da, da, da, da. And I was like, you know what? You're lying through your teeth. You knew right away.

I literally sprung out of bed and was like, my gut told me something was off. And I was like, you're lying. I know you're lying. You know you're lying. My intuition, like, you're lying. I know you're lying. You know you're lying. My intuition fired off. My gut feeling just told me to call you. And if you're going to gaslight me and tell me, what are you talking about? Just go to bed, babe.

You're a monster. And I hung up. And like 45 minutes later, he texted me and was like, I can't't live with myself with uh without telling you this like i cheated on you i was lying oh my gosh monster my god and he was trying to be like no you're like on the phone call yeah but like and he even knew you just caught at that point like admit it one time or do you think it's like a one-time incident or was it like an ongoing i do think it was a one-time incident i've obviously like psychoanalyzed it out of the situation since but i do think it was a one time but honestly it's one of those

things where if that didn't happen i don't think i would have gotten out of the relationship i think i needed something like that to like cold turkey, like cut me off and get out of that situation. Because why? It was like not healthy? Yeah. Really? Not healthy. That's a, for more personal reasons, I'm willing to tell you after the podcast.

Okay, okay, okay. Yeah. Is he an influencer? No. No. Okay, I didn't think so. That's what I love though. Yeah, yeah.

I love that like it was somebody like completely out of our industry. Yeah. And like, yeah. Wow. And he was on the West Coast. So it was long completely out of our industry. Wow. And he was on the West Coast. So it was long distance. Yeah. That's another thing that was so hard. Yeah.

I don't know how people do that. Me either. I tried. It was so hard. Because it's just like, I'm not a cheater, but I kind of understand sometimes you just need someone, like a body, you know? Yeah. I don't love cheating either, but I'm just saying.

For sure. That was obviously something I knew could happen. I mean, that's technically something that can always happen in any relationship. But I really never, I did not think it was going to happen. Like, I really thought he was the one. I really did. How long were you guys together for? We were, like, three years.

Wow. But we were only, we had only made it like official for like the past few months like i think it was like april march or april so we had i mean for a title but i mean we're adults like when you're emotionally interlinked with someone like oh yeah we even tried to say like oh we'll date other people and like i couldn't yeah you just know when i moved to new york i was like and we even had the talk before i was like I am still single and he's like no you're right like go like live your life in New York but I still couldn't yeah because I was tied across the country oh yeah for sure I feel like we were just talking about this the other day like as soon as

you start like hooking up with someone I feel like it should be kind of set that you're not seeing anyone else yeah I don't know I agree I mean I think there's so many people with different opinions on that but like I relate to you on that I'm definitely someone who's like I'm not gonna say like if we hang out one time we are exclusive but like I don't know sex specifically I'm very sacred with that shit and like that's another reason why cheating sucks so bad because I'm like you you not only betrayed me and lied about something, but like you shared your body with someone else and like we share our bodies together. And put you at risk and now you're exposed to someone else that you don't want to be exposed to. Exactly.

I agree. I'm someone who's really promiscuous and I still think that's like an ick. I'm just like, no, if you're like dating someone and they don't get the choice to like be open with you like it's like it's so disrespectful so that was it that one time you're like i'm done that's the thing the second that type of happens to me i'm like it's easy to cut off that's good that's so good because i feel like so many girls hang on i feel like i've hung on so many times to cheaters i get it though i mean like it's it's hard for your brain to wrap around with something like that actually happening to you. And then you almost don't want to believe it.

So, of course, like, I see why people hang on to that stuff. But I don't know. I mean, I talk about it a lot on my podcast, too. Like, no contact is the way to go after shit like that. Nothing. You haven't talked to him since. Here and there because I wanted to ask him if I could talk about it on the podcast, on my podcast. Oh, wow. Oh, my God. Okay, respectful.

I just wanted to be respectful, you know? And he's like, yes? He's like, it's your truth. Like, I get it. Wow. Yeah, I know. It's wild. Oh, my God. It makes me like him, though. I was like, wow. Hey, watch. Are we back together? Yeah. I was like, he's like owning up to it and be like, yes, talk about it.

He's perfect. That's how I think. I'm like, it was a one time. I'm like, I'm bad with that stuff sometimes with the toxicity of it all. But I get it. I get it, though. I think about future me a lot. Yeah. And like the standards that I picture future me having. And I try to like live my days and my decisions with her in mind versus what I want like in

the moment. Oh, yeah. And I feel like cheating is such a good boundary to have. Yeah. It's very black and white to me. Yeah. it okay you showed your colors there's no word you could say to yeah and then lying about it too it's just hard to build that trust back up especially against my intuition like my spirituality is very important to me yeah like you can't do that when did you start that journey have you always been yeah I grew up very spiritual okay not religious no spiritual so your family didn't have religion or anything my grandparents When did you start that journey? Have you always been? Yeah. I grew up very spiritual. Okay.

Not religious. No. Spiritual. So your family didn't have religion or anything? My grandparents, but they never pushed it on us or anything. Yeah. Yeah. Honestly, my mom has always just said, do good and good will come.

She's always nailed karma into my head. It's so real. It's so real. I always tell people good and bad. I'm like, careful. Yes. It's so real it's so real I always tell people good and bad I'm like careful yes it's so real like we are all walking mirrors of the energy we put out and like so I don't know we could just kind of always been raised with that and then within my own world I honestly I feel like my spirituality started like middle school my dreams are really vivid. And I just started kind of seeing and feeling

things in my dreams that would like slowly come to play in like the real world. That sounds way more like that's so Raven than it sounds. I mean, it is. No, but if it came to fruition, that's powerful. Yeah, yeah. No, it is. Dreams too, because those are like subconscious thoughts, like you're not even like thinking. Dreams blow my mind. Do you have vivid dreams? Oh my gosh. I don't have like, no, I don't have like dreams like that that come to like fruition at all mine are actually kind of like just out there and kind of like are they like dreamland like where like there's like a dinosaur with like high heels on celebrity base I'm always if we watch a tv show I dream about that so I don't know I don't think that's anything close but whatever show I'm watching is like

that's my dream that night if we're watching lost I'm like on an island like it's very bad yeah oh me too it's very bad. Yeah. Oh, me too. It's such a good. I had a whole Lost podcast for like six episodes and then I stopped it. Like a dedicated Lost podcast? Yeah. We had like the background people.

It was like literally two years ago when I was pregnant. I was like not doing anything else. Like let me do a Lost podcast. That's so sick. Because I was watching it for the first time and it was everything. I loved it so much. That's a good one. But okay.

So your dreams when you were a child, like what would they be about? Were they like fantasy dreams or were they reality where you felt really like this is going to happen? Reality. I don't really have fantasy dreams even until this day. Like I don't really dream of anything. I don't want to say unrealistic because there's some like crazy. But I don't have like La La Land dreams. I don't have like, oh, I went to the mall and like saw Justin Bieber.

Like I don't have like fun dreams. That's mine. Yeah. I know I need that. I need one of those. It's like sometimes I wake up exhausted from the types of dreams I have. But what's one? Oh, when I was this was a recurring dream.

I had like probably age six to like 12. And the dream was outside of my grandparents house a lot of my dreams are at my grandparents house too for whatever that means um i was running down the street and i dream about aliens a lot there was these like two big aliens um super gray gosh i wish i could like draw them for you but like super gray and they're moving slow but like you know in dreams you're trying to run away like oh are you moving slow too you're not running i'm running fast but like not fast enough like they're just about to get me and i'm running running running and i turn to go into my grandparents house and i'm banging on the door

like grandma grandpa let me in and my grandpa opens the door and I see my sister. And she's like waving like, come in, come in. And I run to the back of the house and then near this closet and then I wake up. So for years I like, I would have it recurring. I really didn't know what it meant, obviously. And then this was probably like five or six years ago. My sister also has really vivid dreams and we were just randomly talking about them. And I told her that one and she, she like stopped and she was like, I had reoccurring dreams that started in the closet that you and I had just

ran into. Oh my gosh. Continuation dream just ran into oh my gosh like continuation dream yes oh my gosh and she would like then we went out of the closet and she'd like open the blinds like split the blinds and the two aliens were walking up to the house and then she would wake up what do you what do you take that as i don't know you don't so you don't because like could it be is it like literal or do you translate it as like, okay, figuratively? Cause like right now we're experiencing aliens, like they're here. I'm like, is it going to happen? I don't know.

That's so weird. And like, were you scared? Like when you would wake up, would you be panicked? Not that I remember. Okay. I think I, I think I was able to know like I'm okay when I would wake up, you know, that was a dream. That's not happening right now.

I'm safe. The second I opened my eyes, that's kind of like something I feel a lot when I have a scary dream the second I open I'm like but six years is a long time to have a recurring dream like that yeah do you ever talk to anyone like a dream specialist or even a therapist like what is this dream or google it at the very least googling it has sent me into spirals I cannot google my dreams anymore what do they say about it just like there will be stuff about like your health and i have like crazy health anxiety like the second i i can't google symptoms of things i'm like hypochondriac yes oh i can't like i can't google anything so

i don't know i've kind of come to like my dreams now i i don't really translate them for what they are because like you're right the alien thing thing, like how do I take that? Yeah. There's not aliens outside. The second I wake up, I'm fine. I go off the emotion it gives me. So like to translate that, those years of my life that I was having that one, a fear-based dream, I think my psyche was just, you know, making me feel the fear that I'm actually, that I was feeling in my reality and like my childhood. As a child. Yeah. You know,

I think it was just like feeding into my subconscious while I was sleeping. Right. It's like coming to you in your dreams. Interesting. I don't know. It's so weird. What was your, as a child, like what would you say did you struggle the most with? Was it home life, school life, just yourself, anxiety? Home. Home. Yeah, I never wanted to be home. And friends became my family. I loved school because it was when I got to get away from home and I got to be with friends.

And I mean, that's why I'm still so close with Leanna and Alex and our other friend Bree. They're my family. My friends became my family really young. And, yeah, that was kind of the gist of it. It is amazing. Yeah. It's like, but you go home because you said you're going home soon for the Super Bowl. So you go home and see.

For sure. Yeah. Like, I love my family. We don't, there's nobody, like, I'm not in contact with. There's nobody I hate in my family. It's just a lot. I just have massive boundaries now. Like, when I go home, I don't stay there's nobody like I'm not in contact with. There's nobody I hate in my family. It's just a lot. I just have massive boundaries now. Like when I go home, I don't stay at their house.

I stay with friends and then I go see them in like small spurts and, you know, what I can handle. Yeah. And do you have like – because I feel like, again, our generation, our parents, like they kind of just didn't know. Do you have now where you can like kind of understand and you kind of like forgive and you kind of like okay I'm at a place now where I forgive and it's like I know what it was it wasn't you know yeah you can move past it and just be okay yeah that's definitely been the theme of like honestly the past year in my life I feel like I finally hit that point of like okay I'm okay I don't have to live in this like fight or flight anymore what happened happened I feel like I got my power back because I'm an adult now yeah now my parents and like my family don't have control over me so I feel like

I was able to put it in the past and like actually become my own human regardless of any of the traumas you know yeah what is your what would you give advice to people who like have gone through that same thing and can't get past that stage oh think about future you think about I mean it's definitely case by case with certain things certain traumatic things like what's traumatic to me might not be traumatic to you and vice versa but I don't know something that helped me get through the way I was treated as a kid was the people who treated me like me as a kid they're not living their lives with guilt they're like they're just living fine because they're capable of that negative behavior and I got to the point where I was like me sitting here like wanting them to

feel the pain that I'm feeling and wanting them to apologize like pretty much basing my healing off is this making sense like basing my healing off them one day like taking accountability of that they did like apologizing maybe one day they'll apologize you can't live for that you can't base your healing around like the potential of someone actually admitting that they did anything wrong to you. Because 99% of the time, an abuser or, you know, we'll use that as a general term, I guess, is they're not going to take accountability. If they were, they wouldn't have done that in the first place. It's so true. Or even manipulators or anything like that like they

really just don't and yeah if you like wait for them to come around like one day it's just i guess not to weaponize karma but in that sense like it's a what goes around comes around exactly so you just know they're living if they can if they're capable of putting out that negative energy and just living their life like there's obviously some other stuff going on with them that's not great. God, you said that better. I feel like I couldn't split that off. No, you were saying it perfectly.

And I feel that on like a different level too, just with people I've encountered in life. And I'm always like, no, but they treated me bad and they never understood and blah, blah. And it's just like- Which is so valid. Yeah. Like, and honestly, that's a good point.

Like also allow yourself to have that anger. Yeah. I think that's a big part of getting over things is either people are like, snap out of it. I need to get over it. I need to just get past this. Or there's people that feel like they're sulking for too long. I think both are necessary. Definitely.

So, like, there's a time and place to put on your big girl pants and, I'll put in quotes, get over it. Yeah. But it's also really necessary to, like, sit and feel it. For sure. And, like, process it. Oh, yeah it's also really necessary to like sit and feel it. For sure. And like process it. Oh yeah. Cause people are victims. I mean, there's a chance you are the victim in the situation, but it's really just like you said, am I going to just continue this while other people are just like living their life or try to. Right. Yeah. I guess get past it. I guess ultimately when

I got into this like spiritual just a few years ago too, it kind of made me feel better to feel like, you know what? It's like the energy put out from like sitting and sulking and thinking about this. Like it's eating me up. What is that saying? It's like if you, it's like a drinking poison, expecting the other person to die or something, you know what I mean? And it's very much that sort of same situation. How did that like, as a, when did you start influencing? Like, were you, did you work? You went to FIDM. Yeah. Yeah. I knew even back then when we knew each other in 2018, I remember you were like when did you start influencing like were you did you work you went to fit them yeah yeah i knew i even back then when we knew each other in 2018 i remember you were like very fashion oh yeah and so you went to fit them were you like 18 when you went there yeah i went right out of high school

and i started in san francisco they used to have a campus out there and then i moved out here in 2015 okay and then i so i went to school for merchandise marketing wow and i wanted to be in like the back side of retail and the first job i got out of college was do you know ted baker yeah like london like yeah it was very a big brand with like they have like little bows and stuff exactly like very like london classic like the queen wears it or some shit. Okay. I don't know. I actually have no idea, but like, it seems like it's British. Yeah. Makes sense.

Just put it out there. Right. I, um, I worked there out of college and the job I got, it was an allocator. So I pretty much worked with product and based off like demographic past sales trends and just so many other numbers I would send product to certain places based off like what that place needed like I wouldn't send a fur jacket to Florida right like that's a very simple way to put it but yeah that so I went to school for that and I loved it and I was good at it but I at that point in my life I was like 20 and I was sitting at my desk and I was like okay like I got the job I wanted but like now what yeah I kind of just like I feel like I capped out my dream at 20 yeah which like I guess I just didn't, I didn't expect of myself.

Right. And yeah, around that time I was, you know, growing on social media and I kind of, I told myself I will quit when my AdSense, like my estimate AdSense is the same as my paycheck at TED. Oh, wow. And then I quit. How long did that take? I think like a year.

Wow. Yeah. That's wild. So then I think like a year. Wow. Yeah. That's wild. So then I left. Left the corporate world. And so what year is that? 2016. 2016.

So when we had met, you were like full-time influencing for like two years. Yeah. Oh my gosh. Were you walking every day? I feel like a different human though. No, even now talking to you you it's like so surreal because i feel like even when we knew each other back then it was like a we talked for like it was like in a flash of a second like hi literally yeah i just remember i mean probably have such

different you know perspectives yeah perspectives for sure because i was like i just remember i don't know to me that was all blur 2018 is definitely a blur but i always just remember just like not we didn't but we never had beef I will say that I feel like I had beef with everybody in that particular group which I wasn't trying to at the time but I feel like we were always like good we're always just like hey good to see you yeah you're just like passing by I know which is like crazy I always just thought of you as like very quiet and chill yeah but now like hearing you like on the on your own podcast and here I'm like oh my gosh like you said you love long format and I was like god I always just think of you as being like so quiet like from back in the day so like listening to your podcast now it's so different do you think you're different

now than you were then absolutely I'm just gonna say like valid that you thought that back then because I was yeah I did have my head down and that 2018 was the first year I really started to feel anxiety ever in my life. Wow. It just kind of like came out of nowhere. I don't know if it was just like my frontal lobe was developing or something. I don't know. You're like, okay, this is a lot. That was like kind of the start of my anxiety journey.

So I feel like my personality. It was different. Oh, so that was the first. So you didn't have anxiety as a kid. No. Wow. So how old are you in 2018? You're 25?

No, you're 28 now. So you were 23. Oh, my God. I cannot do the math. I can't either. What is it? 22? 22.

Wow. 22, 23? Yeah. I know. I was young. Oh, my God. I was like 30. Oh, my God.

This is what I'm saying. I feel like there's just such this age gap that should not be crossed sometimes. You're so youthful, dude. Thank you. you feel so young to me oh thank you I appreciate that I feel you are young yeah like 30s are young but then it makes sense because I always think like all those all the people in that group at the time were that age they were all 20 and that makes sense because I always felt like such a disconnect I was like why am I not connecting and I was like makes sense I mean you're literally 22 years old right which is crazy you're 22 years old influencing which is crazy. You're 22 years old influencing, which is like, I can't even imagine doing that full time at 22. And what do you think caused the anxiety, like specifically

in 2018? So you've done it for a couple of years. You're in the relationship. You're fine. Yeah. I think honestly, once I made the switch to social media, I mean I was so used to a corporate job something where it was a routine and it was a guaranteed check and it was you know you go in you do your job you leave you can clock out and like kind of have your own life it took me a few years to really understand the freelance industry and like be comfortable with it with the unknown of, you know, not necessarily knowing what your next job is going to be or having to constantly like upkeep with trends. And I actually want to talk to you about this. Like I want to know your perspective on living your life online is crazy.

We all know that now. How do you protect yourself living your life online? For lack of a better word, exploiting your humanity. And I'm not saying you, I mean, all of us, all influencers, exploiting your humanity to a degree. But how do you protect yourself? It's something like I feel like I want to talk to you about because like you've been in this forever. Yeah, that's it. That's such a good question. I think now – I think we're kind of talking about this, how like YouTube kind of took a dip. So it's like podcasting is the way to go.

And podcasting like ironically has like protected my peace because it's not about me. Yours is very you-based. Yeah. So you're sharing like getting cheated on and stuff, which I get because all my 20s were that. And like that makes interesting content that's like canceled like all those things. Like I want to know about these young girls and their dating life, but I feel it's not like that. Yeah. Exactly that. You're right. It makes good content, but like I always have this moment where Alex and I will stop recording and I'm like, I just shared that. So much. Like something really vulnerable about myself on the internet with

people that I might not ever meet. Right. Like, I don't know. To judge you and opening it all up. Yeah. And analyzing and then trying to find who you're talking about. Yes. Oh my gosh. It's very scary.

I wouldn't want to be a young influencer now. I mean, I did all that in my 20s, but I think the older I got and then like once I got married, I was like, okay, my content's not so me based. So I think I feel better now with, like, I feel so much better when it's not. Cause I stopped doing like personal little stuff like that, like a few years ago, I feel. And I feel like it's, I mean, I share like my family, like my daughter, like my birth and stuff like that. But to me, it's like very, I pick and choose what I share as opposed to sharing everything

like I used to. But yeah, I mean, I definitely pick and choose some things, but I don't know. I just always want to know the perspective I like I yeah I haven't asked anybody else that I guess also too when you do it for so long it's just kind of like well this is just what I do what else would I do you know that's the thing too like yeah I'm also really grateful for it yeah it's also the coolest job in the world and I wouldn't trade it for anything it's great it's so nice and you can make good money and it's I think it's easy I was literally just talking to someone the other day, like, you're the only influencer

that says it's easy. I'm like, it's like relatively easy considering, like compared to like working at Ted Baker or sending out fur coats or something, you know? Because that's like mentally exhausting too. It's just like, okay, this is not my dream. This is not my. Yeah. We never say this is the hardest job in the world.

I've seen people like say that shit on TikTok. I'm like, wake up. Poor Mikayla with her like trying to be an influencer. I get what they're saying, but yeah, they're young. I feel like that too. She was like 21 and it's like, I get it. It's a lot. Cause it's like a, you know, and knowing now that you were 22 back then, that like does

put like things into such perspective. Cause you were also living a very chaotic life. Like you're in, you were like the original hype house. Like you guys were in this social media house. I forgot about the hype house. Yeah. You guys kind of were it was very content house which to live in it would be insane definitely chaotic yeah yeah did you

enjoy it I mean honestly when I was still working at TED like yeah a lot of the things that would happen would happen while I was at work so then I would come home and be like, oh, my God. Like, what happened here? But I don't know. It was an interesting thing to balance being in a serious relationship. Because, like, you know, there'd be times where, like, I want to have personal time. Like, just the two of us. But, like, there's a goat in the living room. Like, you know, that type of shit. I can't imagine.

I can't imagine. I mean, I'll never forget those years. It was definitely crazy. But I guess if you're friend-based, then it's like you're a friend person. So you like having people around. I do't imagine. I can imagine. I mean, I'll never forget those years. It was definitely crazy. But I guess if you're friend-based, then it's like you're a friend person, so you like having people around. I do. Okay. I'm the opposite.

I'm like, don't like friends. And not that I don't like friends. I just love my alone time. And I could never imagine. I was just like, oh my God, 24 hours. Like you said, you don't know what's coming home. Oh, there's a goat there? Like, oh, hell no.

I'd be so, oh, I'd be so annoyed. I mean, there were definitely times where I was like, you know, I'm tired. Like, what the fuck is happening right now? But like, I guess, I don't know. I understood it was part of the job in the weirdest way possible. And yeah, I feel like that was a time in my life too where seeing what was doing so well on social media, like crazy clickbait and like reactions and you know just insane situations but that was something I like even till this day like I could never do so when I was also trying

to like build my own channel I felt like I was not made for it because I it was all the only thing I compared myself to was the crazy clickbait and the crate so I thought I thought there was like something I don't say wrong with me but I yeah I thought I made a mistake leaving my career that I had like made for myself but then there was also a part of me that loved it I mean still love it yeah like longing your life yeah but I just like all I can compare it to because the only people I knew in the industry at that time were, you know, the vlog squad. Yeah. And I just, I was like, I want to do that.

Like, that does well. That type of stuff's, like, really cool. But I just didn't have the personality for it. Interesting. That's so interesting because that, what, they were at the height of their fame. Like, they're, like, the biggest. And it's just the most chaotic. Like, it's just the most chaotic. Like it's the most

chaotic thing. Like you think about that time now on social media, obviously it's still talked about to this day where it's just like so chaotic. And yeah, someone like you or even me, like people think I'm like crazy and stuff like that. For me, it was a lot. I was like, this is too much. Like I, and to be, I guess to be young and like dating someone in that world and then you're also a part of that world, you're living, literally living in that world. Like I just, I don't know, I guess, to be young and like dating someone in that world. And then you're also a part of that world. You're living, literally living in that world. Like, I just, I don't know, for me, that would cause, that'd be enough to cause anxiety. I had anxiety. I have, when you said the word vlogs, I was like, oh my God, triggered. Like, I don't even say it because it's like trauma. It's like, no, no, no, no. It's like, it's like not now I'm past it, but,

but it is kind of like, I'm scared to even say it. It's almost like Voldemort where I'm like, oh my God, what's going to come? Because their fan base at the time, like I was attacked so much. And again, I was a little unhinged, a little unwell during that time. So kudos to you for keeping it together mentally because it can be like crazy. But for you, when you were there, would you participate in like the pranks and stuff like that? Were you active in any of that? Like if they're like, Hey, let's like, did you guys have a painting in your room? I forgot. Okay. So there was, did you know about that? No, no. We, I think that was when we, we came home from Thailand, I think. So it was like a 20 something hour flight. I had a stomach bug. So I was like in my pants, I got home, like literally crawling to my bed, like just wanting to be home.

I think that was what that trip was. Oh, wow. And yeah, we walked in. It was there. I was just like, all right, this is going to fuck up my sleep paralysis. There were so many times I'd wake up in the middle of the night and it was just like, I'm like staring down. God, so it did have some effect on you where you're like, this is scary.

Yeah. It definitely didn't relax me by any means oh my gosh i don't know i think back to what you asked like if i was like in it at all not really i mean even like if you watch back like i'm i wasn't really in any of david's there was a few times where i think i just like didn't give the reaction. I wondered that. Yeah. You know, you weren't like, I mean, I'd react to them a human, but it wouldn't be like the one he wanted a good reaction.

It would be like a scared reaction or like too real or right. So there are like a few things I can remember. But yeah, no, I feel like I was never really like in the video, like his videos. Did you have boundaries back then or was it just more like I think it was unspoken it was like an unspoken thing where I think he realized like I'm just I'm not gonna like lean into it interesting I wonder what it was about you because I feel like I think exploiting is the best word to use I don't know maybe it's a little dramatic but just like he literally just could be anybody you know like random people they would like film and stuff so it's like I wonder what it was about you that there was like that boundary or something like i wonder maybe it was my quietness i don't

know i literally don't remember you're right though i was like a little more reserved back then like maybe he just like yeah i don't know i guess consider yourself lucky i know i'm like we're good we made it were you guys friends were you guys would you consider yourself friends with david now yeah i've not spoken no i mean back then oh like we guys hang out because i know we were never friends we never like hung out like we would film and that's it no yeah i mean the the only people that like obviously like all love i'm not gonna sit here and no one but the the like one thing that i'm eternally grateful for in that time my life is my friendship with liza liza is like one of my best friends till this day we talk daily like

we're actually gonna see her tonight like oh that's amazing i'm so grateful for liza i don't i always say that to her i'm like i got this friendship out of this i forgot you guys were so close back then. Liza's one of my best friends. Oh, see, that was before I think I met you guys. I think they might have already broken up because I barely, I think I met Liza maybe once or twice. Interesting.

Yeah. She was, the two or three times I met her, she was always like super nice. How, is she good? Or is she like, she's just like living her life? I know she's very mainstream now. She's just living her life. She's doing great. She's a. Oh, I love that you guys are still friends I wondered about that I was like oh she was so sweet I'm kind of glad she's in that level now and just I'm so proud

of her she's such a boss she's one of those people too like she has a movie on Netflix coming out on Valentine's Day oh my gosh and she she was like hey what are you doing for Valentine's Day I'm gonna be in New York and I was like oh hell yeah like I you doing for Valentine's Day? I'm going to be in New York. And I was like, oh, hell yeah. Like, I'll be out there. Let's do like a Valentine's Day thing. I was like, what are you doing out here? She's like, oh, I have a movie coming out. Oh, my God.

And then I look at the thing and it has like the big red N. And I was like, dude, congrats. You got to say this stuff. She's so humble. Oh, my God. That is. That's wild. Like, I'm just going to be there just, you know, promoting a movie.

Oh, just a Netflix is. That's wild. I'm just going to be there just promoting a movie. Oh, just a Netflix movie. That's amazing. I'm like, congrats. No, it is really cool when you see her stuff, when she did the Met Gala and stuff like that. I was like, wow. So cool. I love seeing influencers get mainstream,

because I think so few make it there. Yeah. I know that that's the end all be all, because ultimately podcasting, you make more money than TV. But I just think it's cool to see, especially someone like Liza, who's always been nice. I don't think anyone has a bad story about her. She's the best. Oh, and I love that you guys are still friends. I wonder that. I'm like, do you keep in touch with anyone from that era someone like Liza who's always who's always been nice I don't think anyone has like a bad story about her she's the best oh and I love that you guys are still

friends I wonder that I'm like do you keep in touch with anyone from that era besides Liza no she's the she's the best one yeah we made it out the trenches wow I just I feel like a different person yeah in like the best way possible no we I just did an interview with this like magazine and they were bringing up so much of the vlog squad days and I'm just like this was only a few days ago and I just i still feel weird about it i kept i'm up like like do i ask them to take it out like i just don't love talking back like you know what i mean like there's just not talking bad but also just like thinking back to that time because i'm just like i don't really feel like that person either and i forget a lot of the stuff so i really

don't want to like go back because i feel like there's so much stuff where i see and i'm just like i kind of forgot about that or that you know what I mean it's just do you um do you do the TikTok live no you never do I see a lot of them on the live now I I'm so bad at TikTok wait you're so good you're really not I see a lot of people doing the live right now and like I see it being pushed and like yeah I got an email the other day that was like saying like you can make hella money from it I'm that's the one thing about this job that I'm so bad at is like the business side of it really that kind of like what we're saying earlier the living your real life online it's hard for me to make it super businessy because I'm like it's me like it's weird to look

at my person as a business. That's something that's like super essential to do in this space too. But I'm really bad at it. Interesting. So who helps you with like your ads and your brand deals and stuff? We have like a small like mom and pop agency that helps us.

But for the most part, like, I mean, everything in house. We have an editor, like, that's kind of that. I have a manager with, like, brand deals and stuff. And that's kind of a, you know, something I'm comfortable doing and whatnot. But as far as, like, the press and, like, I don't know. Oh, yeah. I just, I'm so bad at that. Really?

I'm so bad at it. So you don't have, like, a PR or anything? No, I never have. Oh, my God. So how do you, when you go on things or do other, like, do you get those or do people just come to you like you just answer emails well my manager does she does answer the emails but like her and I have been working together for like seven years now she's literally just like one of my friends at this point but she handles a lot of that side of it for like brand work but yeah as far as like like I don't plan content like I

don't like like even walking in here like you had someone like shooting us the second we sat down. I have one photographer. Literally I roll out of bed, like brush my teeth, put on a beanie and then like sit in my living room with Alex and press record. That's kind of like a good way to be though. That really is. It's like, you know, I feel like this, I just try to make something because for so long

I had no, I never edited. I never anything, but I'm like, you know what? Let me put some effort into this. like you know it pays off yeah I think I feel like with podcasting it really is like my third it's so cute it's just kind of like this whole new it just feels healthier than because I was vlogging my life and I'm like I don't know it does get a little a little draining sometimes just putting your whole life out there and just being open to judgment like let me not put so much out I I get you on that and I even I filmed a vlog recently where I was having a bad day I was but I felt the need to vlog it because I feel like everybody just puts like the good days out there and that's where I start having fun with

editing like I did like a voiceover thing kind of explaining like the ebb and flow of life and like how a bad day is still a day and like above the ground and like that type of thing. That's cool. That's where I feel creative. Yeah. I think those are so important. I love when especially like girls, like young girls talk about it because you do look at yourself. And I've had so many young girls on lately that have talked about their mental health. And I'm like, it's so refreshing to see because you see someone like you that just like looks like they have it all together and everything's fine and so when you put them out there it just is like oh okay there's other people like when you said I blocked out some of my childhood I'm like me too like I felt like seen and like I think it's just I think it's important to put that out

for sure I think I put enough of that out with my life I'm like okay you've seen the bad let me see some good now but I think that's good And especially when you can make it like artistic and stuff like that. I think that's like really, I love editing, like editing. If I, if I like smoke a little and just like headphones on and that, I feel like I get so creative with like music and like, I love like shooting things and artsy ways. And I feel like I, I like the production side. That to me is like, so I never have edited in my life. I have no idea how to do it. I'm not like amazing at it, but like, I don't know. How'd you learn it?

Scott. Really? Yeah. So you guys would like shoot each other or film each other? I would just watch him edit. Wow. Yeah. Yeah, he is good.

He was always like really good. He's still our favorite on this show. We talk about it. That's why I think Oscar was so excited. We're like the unofficial Scottie Sire podcast over here. I don't know him, but I'm sure. I'm glad I'm on it yeah he's like you need Kristen I was like okay I'm someone who doesn't love to like pry but I mean you always want to know because I don't know I don't know I don't know if he likes me probably not he was not happy with me

years ago but we like him I've always said of all the vlog squad people he was always like the nicest like he was never an a**hole so chill dude yeah I think like most everyone else I had like beef with and I feel like for the most part we didn't but anyways in the past yeah I love that you can talk about I love that you can like say his name sometimes I can't say names of people I feel like I'm like it took time it took time that's what I'm saying it's valid to have those responses to things but are you guys cool like have you you're cool yeah haven't spoke or anything yeah like normal action that was wild yeah your breakup it's such a weird thing breakups it's like the david and liza you guys online that's one thing i'm like even my therapist was like how did you do that

and i'm like i don't know did you feel the need to like did you feel like you had to like announce it and everything yeah yeah so it's such a weird thing because like I remember like once we we broke up like late January and we it was like a few weeks after maybe like a week and a half two weeks and I was like yo we gotta say something like I felt I felt weird like posting normal online yeah that type of people started noticing I mean you know the internet works like the second something changes people are like wait they're doing this differently like something must be wrong so people were kind of already catching on yeah and uh yeah it was definitely weird to be going through one of my biggest heartbreaks yeah but having to

like sit down and press record and like throw it out there but i also felt like it was necessary yeah i don't it's such a weird thing like because you guys were so public online that you're like this has to be out there necessary to the point where like no we we didn't owe anybody anything but i would rather there be no speculation to what happened and let us announce it rather than people being like whoa cold turkey they're just like aren't together anymore right then people are gonna go to the bad place yeah like that's why i feel like it was kind of necessary to like announce it and set it straight. I feel like with you guys too. Did you ever feel like you were disappointing people?

Cause like you're like, I believed in love with you guys. Yeah. I remember those comments and I see that all the time, even with like celebrity couples. Yeah. I hope people say that lightly cause to not be believe in love because of one couple that you really liked that broke up, like love exists everywhere. Yeah. You know, like it is sad to see because I'm sure a lot of people do mean it.

Yeah. But yeah. I feel like you can find love like multiple times in your life too. I feel like. Agreed. I don't believe in one lover. Yeah. I feel like just because one love ended doesn't mean you can't find like another amazing love

of your life. Yeah. Which I think is like important. But yeah, that one was a shocker that one but I love that year I was also like wow that's so sad it still is to me sometimes I'm like oh man that one was I don't know I guess it is weird when you get invested in people I rarely do but I feel like because both of you were like so nice and like normal like in real life I was just like oh man that was that was the one it had its time yeah I mean that's good and like you said you're young you're like a different person

and I that's always so bizarre to me too I think it's amazing I always wanted to be like a young wife a young mom it didn't happen for me but but you do change 36 about to have a baby but 30s oh my gosh no I feel like I feel like nowadays women thank god they're like having babies like 40 I think Jenna Dewan's like 43 and pregnant right now. We were just talking about that too. Yeah, it's cool. It's refreshing. So you don't feel too much pressure.

If you want to have a baby at 40, it's completely possible. I've even been thinking, do I need to freeze my eggs? I don't know. I just started thinking about that stuff. Yeah. Someone was- This is invasive though, right? Yeah.

Do you know Rosanna Pansino? Yeah. She's a baker? Yeah, she's a baker. She's cute. She was talking about that, that she froze her eggs at like 30 or something like that because I think it's better when you freeze them young. But I think just in case, I don't know. I don't know how invasive it is. I've

never done it. I don't know. We'll see. I'll think about it later. It is interesting. Yeah. I wonder too, I was like, I think it was Tana I was talking to about, she was a hypochondriac or she's a hypochondriac and she's like scared to be pregnant because of that. And I was like, I wonder how that is for a hypochondriac, how it is to be pregnant. That's honestly a big reason too, that I'm scared to have kids. It's like, I mean, the horror stories of complications you hear, that's one thing. And of course, with the horror stories, there are also really good stories and you only hear the bad ones. You hear that stuff all the time, but to a hypochondriac's brain, it's like, no, that is going to happen to me.

And I've even had dreams of like – I've had dreams where I'm like seven months pregnant. Like I'm like showing. I'm big. And I go to the doctor and I'm like, oh, my God. I don't want to do it anymore. What do I do? And they're like, you have to go through with it now. You had dreams like that?

Oh, yeah. I have pregnancy dreams a lot. Oh, my God. You got to be careful if your dreams are like real. No, we're good. We're celibate out here. Oh, my God. That's crazy. Oh, my God. And so you would wait. So the doctor would be, what would he say? Like, you have to go through with it? You have to go through with it. And then like, I always wake up right before giving birth because I don't think, obviously, I've never given birth. So my brain can't compute like how to feed me that in a dream.

Yeah. But it's kind of like almost death. You never die in your dreams. Right. You always wake right up. Oh, my God. That's trippy. I have pregnancy dreams a lot.

I wonder what that means. I don't know. And you're not pregnant. No. I don't think so. I've been cooking for a long time. You never know. Sometimes people are like, I'm not pregnant. They didn't know they were pregnant for a long time. You never know. Sometimes people are like, I'm not pregnant.

They didn't know they were pregnant for like nine months. What is that called? Cryptic pregnancy? Wait, what? I never heard that term. That might not be the word. That sounds a little techie. Cryptic, it sounds like it would be something.

It's like you don't know until you go into labor. And they don't show. Yeah, what? But my hypochondriac mind, I'm like, that's happening. Yeah. I have 10 kids in me that have been hiding there. They just stay in there. They're grown up. They're like not coming out. Well, at least they're not coming out like your dream. They're staying in there for a while. Oh my God. That was, I mean, it is crazy. Cause even as not a hypochondriac, I was like,

I'm going to be the one who sounds so morbidly dies. You know what I mean? Yeah, exactly. You know, but I mean, people do it all the time you know it's a small percentage but yeah I totally get it yeah and um yeah I don't mean to talk about scary pregnancy stuff yeah oh you're sorry no no I don't know because now I'm in a place I'm very like I'm very I don't know do you meditate in your spirituality so I'm very meditative where I'm like as soon as I start thinking anything like that I immediately just like clear my mind I'm like everything's good my baby's fine it's coming soon like I'm very that person and I feel like it's helped so much because I was my first pregnancy. I meditated for like three hours a day and it was like, made it so calm. It was so easy. Three hours straight. That's hard to do. Yes. Like good on you. That meditation is not easy. Yeah. I was like basically

a monk for like a year. Cause I had a bad 2021 too. 2018 was rough. 2018 was worse, but 2021 was also hard. And so I did a whole spiritual awakening and 2018 was rough. 2018 was worse, but 2021 was also hard. And so I did a whole spiritual awakening and I would just go out and like, I was very into like Hare Krishna and like Hinduism. So I'd go out and do yoga and just like do my mantras. So are you very much words of affirmation type of thing

when you're like, where do you go when you meditate? I try to clear my head. Like I try not to think anything. How do you do that? Space. It's very hard. Well, I have BBD. So there's another thing we do in our therapy called wise mind where it's like counting the spaces in between your breath or just counting, like, you know, seeing the black space and just counting, you know, your breaths in or counting,

whatever, just all that stuff. So it helps to clear it. Cause once you start counting, then at some point you're just seeing blank, like it's just blank blank and then you start hearing like vibrations of the air conditioning and then it just becomes like you're connected the counting probably allows your like inner monologue to focus on the literal numbers as opposed to like the passing thoughts i think that's very like harry krishna too is like they have the hari krishna hari krishna krishna harry so you're doing this mantra over and over because you're just focusing on the pattern of the words it changes patterns so and i think then you can just go to a clear space. And I think that's my personal best meditation, but it is hard.

It's so hard. That's why I do that. Then the affirmations come in. If I can't, I'm like, I'm happy. I'm content. I'm like exactly what I just repeat that over and over. I love that. And I try to do the affirmations.

Something I tend to do, though, when I'm literally saying them in my head, the other part of my head is like you're just saying that like you're like you're like they like go at each other and it's like you're just you don't mean that you're just saying that you're trying to convince yourself like what I have like multiple voices in my head all at once we is it actually like vivid like that where you like are kind of hearing the thought back to you like yeah this is not right again another thing we were just talking about like I I have a million thoughts at once i can hear them all like perfectly i'm very scatterbrained in that way okay yeah you need to do like clear meditation

like you just need to clear your head i i wish i could just like turn it off sometimes maybe try the counting it changed my life as soon as i could like fully clear i do it before bed and i do it right when i wake up. Yeah. Because I'm the same way. I have like a million thoughts. Like my notes, I have like 13,000 notes. Oh, my notes are like half thoughts too.

I'm like, what was I even trying to write? Oh, mine are all words. Mine are over there. Mine are just words that I don't even know what they mean. And I have, I literally have probably like 15,000 notes. Like it just, he'll tell you like it'll be a shower during a movie. I'm like, I have to make this note. Like it's.

Because you think you'll forget it. Yeah. You probably will because your mind's going a million miles per hour. That's why meditation's good. When I was doing meditation for three hours, I never made notes. I was just clear. I was like, whatever the life comes, whatever I need to remember, I'll remember. Right.

You know. You kind of release the control. Yeah. And trust that, like, your brain will give you what you need. Yeah. Yeah. Much better. That's so hard for me.

Something I try to do is, I don't know if you ever do this, when I'm trying to meditate and you know, I'm sitting there and then I'm thinking about how I'm meditating and I'm like thinking about what I need to do after I'm done meditating. I picture myself on like the platform of a train station and like the tracks are like right in front of me. And when one of those thoughts that are like, uh are like right in front of me and when one of those thoughts that are like uh you know i need to go grocery shopping after this or i need to call my mom or whatever i instead of being like no no stop thinking about that like stay present i picture those thoughts as the trains going by and i i'm just the observer

yeah like these thoughts are passing in my head but like i don't have to follow them yeah i'm just watching them go by. I think that's a – Something that kind of helps me. That's what I do too. Mine's birds. It's like at the ocean and you see like birds fly away with them. Okay.

Yeah. But that's interesting. I read a book like that that really talked about that, like visualizing like letting thoughts pass. Yep. Rather than just trying to be like, don't come in my head. Oh, that's so – yeah. That was really big.

I was reading like a bunch of books and I remember that was like a recurring thing. It was like just let it pass. Be the observer. Or oceans, waves. That was really big. I was reading like a bunch of books and I remember that was like a recurring thing. It was like, just let it pass. Be the observer. Or oceans, waves. Yeah, be the observer. I think that's a good way to be because people, sometimes it's just not realistic to not have thoughts in your head.

Of course. You know. Like when you think you're your thoughts, this is such like a tongue twister. When you think you're your thoughts, then you can't disconnect from them. And a lot of, I start thinking about like a lot of anxiety is also just chemical reactions that might just be happening because you like for me if I

have coffee on an empty stomach I tend to be more anxious because my gut's off and your gut is like it's your mind it's like very connected and I don't know that's why I try to just observe and disconnect from them I don't I don't know it's a huge thing to just observe and disconnect from them I don't I don't know it's a huge thing to also just know what you kind of said is like just know you're not your thoughts like those they're just not real like good or bad I try not to like feed into it because I used to be so in my head and now I just kind of let things pass and it's just a better way I think when you get like a little older you just kind of feel that way it takes a minute but I do again love that people talk about it so much and it is becoming more popular because

i just think like younger people can benefit so much from it you know and you do hear about like 21 year olds and it's amazing because it's literally life-changing when you can change my life let your thoughts pass yeah you're right though it it kind of just comes with age too yeah and i remember being told that like my sister's three and a half years older than me and when she was my age now and i was 25 just mad depressed she was like i i can give you all these tools in the world like i i i want to help you through this but i promise one day it really will just click for you like your brain just honestly isn't fully developed yet like i think it's like 25 26 that's what they always say that's why they say like the dating like if you're 40

don't date someone under 25 because you're like messing up your psyche completely yeah and um yeah it did just kind of click one day i feel like age really helped with that one it that's like one cool thing about here when you're young i'm like no oh i know a lot of times right i always tell people they're 20 like you won't even care about this when you're in your I'm like, no. Oh, I know. A lot of times. Right. I always tell people in their twenties, like you won't even care about this when you're in your thirties, which is like 100% true, but of course you're going to care about it. There's so much that I don't care about that I cared about back then. Yeah. Oh. And that's like the, that is the great part. Even like being thirties, it's like, I just don't care about like literally anything. And it is amazing. And then you wonder why you're just like, oh, as you're getting older, you know, it's just like,

I don't know. Nothing bothers you. You're not in competition with anyone anymore. I don't know. The competition. That's huge. Like, I feel like a lot of my early twenties were the comparison. But I mean, like I was just saying, even right when I broke into the creator space, I was like, what, is there something wrong with me? Like I, my content isn't as entertaining as the things that are going viral right now. And like you compare, you compare. Yeah. But now I'm the most comfortable in my career that i've ever been because i'm just like the people that want to watch me are going to watch me and the ones that don't want to like i don't care i don't care to go viral anymore i don't care like it's just you stop comparing like i'm comfortable with just who i am regardless of exterior validation i think that's the best that is the best thing

the best advice for every influencer, like, young. Especially podcasting is so big right now and, like, competitive is just, like, not compare. Because everyone's podcast, I do listen to quite a few podcasts.

Everyone's is so different. Like, yours are so different than, like, anyone else. Just, like, the stories you tell, who you guys are. You know, everyone just has such a different, unique thing. So I always tell people, like,

and if you try to be, like, other people, then that's when it, like, f***s you up a little bit. People see through it now, too. Oh, for sure. It's really interesting, like, and if you try to be like other people, then that's when it like f***s you up a little bit. People see through it now too. Oh, for sure. It's really interesting like on the consumer side that people see through phony content now.

Yeah. Like that, the type of stuff that was working back in 2016, 2017, like would never work now. It's crazy. Even like challenge based things. Like I'm honestly, I miss challenges though. Oh yeah. I love that era of YouTube.

But like it's not a huge thing anymore it's just crazy to see how it evolves i know i wonder what is your audience like who do you know like your demographic like i think i'm like 90 woman oh i have a very interesting woman audience and for the podcast specifically it's a lot of people our age okay so it feels just like a big friend group. Yeah. So it's not too young. Yeah.

I'm kind of surprised because coming from the vlog squad, you would just think you'd have more male followers just knowing you from that group. I mean, honestly, once I was no longer associated with them, a lot of people dropped off. Really? So this is a whole new audience. It feels like it. I definitely like, so for advice, we have a Patreon episode every week, like a follow up to our Monday episodes where people write in.

And here and there, I'll get people that are like, I've been a fan of Kristen since like 2016, like since, you know, the old days. So I know they're there. But like, I also know a lot of people that are like, oh, I discovered you because I saw one of your clips on Instagram of this podcast. Like you're good at the clips. Cause that's how I saw it too. I would see it before.

Cause I have like a new account now. I have my other one got deleted and I would see your, uh, you're just your clips pop up. So like whoever's doing your clips, I don't know if it's you or what, like that's so well in the algorithm and the TikTok algorithm. You guys are so good to do that. We don't do that with ours. I have like no TikTok clips. We didn't do it till this season four. Like, I get it. You got an editor to do it for you. Yeah, it definitely helps. We need to get it. Oscar's so busy. He does it full time for

entertainment tonight. So I get it though. We need to find someone who has some time to do it. But yeah, his full time job is like making TikToks for ET. How did you meet him? We actually met each other, I don't know, like 10 years ago, 12 years ago. Yeah, I think he said he went to the Vlog Squad house. I think he said he did an interview there with the – Maybe I wasn't there. Maybe I was at work that day. No, I didn't remember either.

And I was like part of that group. And I was just like, oh, my gosh. He said he went and did like a whole interview with like everyone who lived I think in that house. I want to say it was the one I knew you at. Were you at – you weren't at the Denny house. I was at Denny. Oh, okay. So maybe it was – maybe it was that or maybe it was – I knew you at. Were you at – you weren't at the Denny house. I was at Denny. Oh, okay. So maybe it was – maybe it was that or maybe it was – I don't know.

He said he interviewed everyone and it was very – yeah. Maybe I wasn't there. Oh, God. I hope I didn't meet him and I'm like forgetting it. No, but I feel like – I'm usually really good at that. No, I always do. I always forget.

I feel like the worst. No, I think it's kind of normal, especially when you meet so many people like just in life, especially at that house in the vlog squad. Like I just feel like you just meet so many people. There's people coming in and out. Oh it's i i remember so little of it but um yeah we just met a really long time ago i think i did an interview with like et or something like that and i just known him for so many years but um how did we get on that oh the editing yeah yeah um so now that you're podcasting you you're in New York. What's the difference between New York life versus LA life?

Oh my God. Everything. Uh, I don't have a car anymore, which I miss. Wait, really? I miss driving so, so much. I walk everywhere. I miss it. Some people are like, I love it.

So freeing not to have a car. I just love driving. I always like, I always loved it even before I moved. So driving is like that thing that gets me out of my head. It's kind of, honestly, it's, it's like the counting thing. Like I'm focusing on the road. So I'm not in my own head. Oh yeah. People go for drives all the time for that reason. Right. I love it though. It's the people are so cool and nobody like you would relate to this. In LA, when you meet people, it's like, oh, what do you do? It's like the first question they ask,

oh, what do you do? Oh, who do you you know which i get like networking is powerful and you know i'm not gonna on that very important part of the industry but i also just like conversations like this where like just shoot this and talk about whatever we want to talk about and like be humans and i feel like i never got that here and like ever ever new york it's a bad rap people say new york people are mean i don't think they're mean they're blunt yeah but i like blunt okay what's blunt to you like just um not like drop the small talk okay like if you meet someone at a bar they're not gonna be like oh so like where are you from they're gonna be like oh what's your drink order oh like what'd you do last night uh like that's a bad example like they'll they want to know you not what you do or your your there's no like ulterior motive if you will

i just feel like people are more like personable and want to connect right and people in la i feel like are a photocopy of each other everyone Everyone, like, looks the same at this point and, like, wears the same. It is crazy. It's a photocopy. Yeah. But New York, it's, I mean, the fashion alone is so inspiring. Everybody wears whatever they want to wear, whatever makes them feel good. And, like, I don't know.

It's just so refreshing. Yeah. And just, like, East Coast vibe. I'm California born and raised. I was ready for something new. That's what's shocking to me. Like you're from here. You grew up here. You lived here until you were what? 25? 26? 26. And so you moved to New York by yourself or you have your friend? I moved with Alex. Oh, you guys moved together at the same time. And what was it? Were you like, I want to do fashion or what was it about New York?

I've always loved New York and I'd visited multiple times before moving there but it was October 2021 I took a solo trip out there and I was there for like two weeks just like bopping around the city eating the food's amazing walking around like sightseeing and uh I remember the moment I was I was in Union Square I like remember exactly where I was in Union Square. I remember exactly where I was. It felt like a movie. I looked around and I was like, I have to move here. I think it's time. And it was so powerful, though, because like I said, I'd been there multiple times. But something about this trip, I was like, I have to move here. And I came home and I walked in and I told Leanna and Alex. I was like, I'm out of here.

I think I'm going to move to New York. Oh, my gosh. And Alex was like, I'll out of here. I think I'm going to move to New York. Oh, my gosh. And Alex was like, I'll come with you. What? But she had never been. What? So she went to New York the first time, March 2022, and we moved that following June.

Oh, my God. How is she adjusting to it? She loves it. She does. She had a boyfriend. She met a boy out there. In New York? Yeah. Oh, that's the best.

Yeah. When you're like, find the love. And then this is what I meant to come out for. Yeah, exactly. I was. In New York? Yeah. Oh, that's the best. Yeah. When you're like, find the love. And then this is what I meant to come out for. Yeah, exactly. I was supposed to meet him out here. Oh, my God. That's amazing. You have such strong gut feelings.

Like, you're cheating. You like woke up. This one, you're like, I have to do this. That's really amazing. I'm grateful for it. Yeah. Like, you're very in tune with something that you just know. I know.

Wow. I just trust it. Yeah. And so you go to New York. You're doing your podcast. That's what you do full time now. Yeah. And I still post on my channel, but I feel like the podcast definitely takes up the most of my days. What's like your passion? Like, is it podcasting? Is it fashion still? Would you ever want to do anything back into fashion? I would. I wouldn't say it's like my number one anymore. I think I have a lot of passions, but there's only a few that I'm willing to like, I guess, monetize, if you will. I feel

like fashion is just something like I keep to myself and like, you know, express through my clothing. I'm literally wearing the most basic outfit. I'm like, I'm a fashionista. No, you're actually so fashionable. I literally was just like, like what does she wear i was like okay she's casual i was just trying to look i'm like i don't know this is great no everything's amazing thank you thank you um oh my purpose though i feel like my purpose lately these past few years especially with the podcast is helping people that sounds so like generic and like literally like a fortune cookie but like I don't know I a lot of things have happened to me I've been through a lot of and as I've healed through it I've realized again through the podcast even through like my own

channel when I talk about it the the way it helps other people and the stories we've heard through like people writing into advice that have like gotten out of like 10 year abusive relationships. And like, I'm like, I want to do this forever. Like I've even thought about maybe being a therapist and like going back to school for psychology. Like I, I just want to help people, but like emotionally. Yeah. Like I don't know.

It's interesting. So learning. Going back to school, that'd know. It's interesting. I'm still learning. Going back to school, that'd be interesting because then you just learn so much more. Like you already know so much when you're talking about the therapy you do earlier. Like, and the way you were able to break it down because I was like, it doesn't make sense

how remembering memories would help, but you're already so good at it, like breaking stuff down. So it's like to get that knowledge. I think also just anyways, it would help for podcasting, just having that. That'd be so cool. Yeah. Like you're an actual like therapist giving advice. I've thought about going back to school for that

I've also been thinking about going back to school for acupuncture. I love chinese medicine. Wait. Oh, hey This is a new thing. We've been hearing like everyone's like We had trouble getting pregnant. We know two people. Um, and they did acupuncture and like got pregnant What is the needles where I know nothing about it? Yeah, so you um Again, I haven't gone to school for it, so don't paraphrase me, but it's not a doctor. You have what are called meridians all throughout your body. And the basis of acupuncture is getting that energy to flow. And if you have, you know, inflammation or some type of like, you know, general issue within the the body it's said that that's stagnant energy so hitting the certain pressure points with those needles they're tiny little

needles they're literally like the size of a hair like they're tiny they don't hurt nothing hurts okay when you hit these certain pressure points and you usually like lay there for about an hour with them they turn off the lights very relaxing you can meditate with the needles in your body energy yeah and then it gets things moving and it sounds so woo woo and i hear people all the time like even my family's like what like that's bullshit yeah it works so i've i've regulated my periods because of it wow i have really bad tmj that helps it even when i like my sinuses are inflamed, there was some fires on the East Coast a few months ago, and I literally couldn't breathe. And I got some lung points and sinus points.

Literally fine the next day. It's magic. Wow. It's magic. Is it expensive? Kind of, yeah. Depends where you go. Unfortunately, a lot of insurance doesn't cover it, which is so whack to me.

Because it's Chinese. Yeah, Eastern Medicine. are you into all that like do you take like right like if you get sick do you take regular medication i have to be really sick to to take something like interesting over the counter i like to stay pretty natural but i i also totally like respect the the modern medicine and like the medicine we have here in america it saves lives every day like uh my nephew he has a heart condition and if we didn't have the type of medicine that we have in the u.s i don't know where he'd be right now so like i'm never gonna like on that yeah you just prefer the chinese yeah and i think it should be you know an option for everyone too yeah And talked about more.

Or, yeah, just options. Like you said, my mom has, like, I don't remember if it's tetanus or something. It's tetanitis? I don't know. Something where she has, like, green hair. Oh, tinnitus. Tinnitus, yeah. And the doctor, we were literally on a call with Kaiser, and they're like, you should

try acupuncture. Yes. And I was like, what? Like, I've never heard of it. Like, I've heard of it, but I was like, is that actually? I always just thought it was, like, placebo or something. But... I've heard that, too.

And, I mean, placebos are also like arguably just as effective. There's a lot of studies about that too. Like if the brain thinks something's happening, like your brain can do it. But I don't think it is that personally. No, it's interesting because I've heard this now a few times from people who are like, it actually helped like the pregnancy, like people got pregnant. Like it's actually interesting. I've never done it because I also just thought it hurt and stuff i'm just like it looks painful it doesn't hurt it looks scary because like a needle is never a

something you associate with anything good i guess maybe like a tattoo but like still that's oh yeah you have tattoos oh yeah i love tattoos wait really that's so i just didn't know you had this oh my god you have so many brand this is like the new thing that i don't know what's new but like i see a bunch of people just like the most random ones patchwork i think is what it's called oh my wait so what are they all have you done a tattoo tour yeah or yeah i saw a ring tour you did that's why i hesitated i thought i did it but it was the ring tour but you haven't done a tattoo one not in a minute okay so what are they through them yes okay i'm i'm fascinated i've never had tattoo you don't have any no i'm it's not even the pain it's just like what would i want committed for

that forever we have a lot of sevens i see so does the seven start somewhere you can have a ring You don't have any. No. It's not even the pain. It's just like what would I want committed for that long? We have a lot of sevens, I see. So does the seven start somewhere? You guys ever ring that says seven? This is my lucky number. Were you born in the seventh or something? No. No.

Just love the seventh. I'm the 28th. That's a variable. Is that the word? I'm so bad at math. A variable of seven? I don't know either. What's a variable?

Anyone know? I don't know. Multiple? What? I have no idea. Seven is a multiple of 28. Oh, like you divide it by four. Okay.

What's your actual birthday? I love numbers, but what's your full birthday? March 28th, 1995. So three plus two is five plus eight is 13. What was the year you were born? 95. So plus five is 18 plus nine is 27. Okay, I don't know.

I thought maybe it becomes a thing. I'm like, what does this mean? Usually we put stuff together. Like I love 18, so my daughter's birthday was like added up't know. I thought maybe it comes with things. I'm like, what does this mean? Usually we put stuff together. Like, I love 18, so my daughter's birthday was, like, added up to 18. So I tried to, like, add things. I'm like, okay, well, I don't know. Why do you love 18? In, like, Judaism, it means, like, life.

Like, it means, like, like, high and, like, high. It's, like, a life. And we got engaged on the 18th. Like, 18 is just, like, our number. I love 18. Elvis used to wear, like, a little high on his necklace, too. I think it's just, like, it's just life. It just means, like, life. Wow. Yeah, I always liked 18. I love 18. I used to wear like a little high on his necklace too. I think it's just like, it's just life. It just means like life. And yeah, I always like 18. I love 18. I always play the lottery too. That's one of my numbers. I shouldn't say it, but I always came to win.

I had a dream that I won the lottery and it was very vivid. Three, three numbers in it. And one of them is 18. That's all I'm going to say. I don't want anyone taking my numbers. And if you win the lottery, do not tell a soul. But you know, in California they have to say your name. Yeah. That's so dangerous. It's so dangerous. I'm dangerous i'm like you get security i know yeah could you imagine and then i'm the one that wins everyone's pissed about it i know i get security right i love playing the lottery because i love numbers okay but back to your seven you just love i love

seven lucky seven but what's funny is the day i got this i was in san diego and i got it and then we drove back to la that night walked through the door house was broken into oh my god so we're not very lucky yeah it's crazy was it a fan i don't know you never know who did it no no there was no rings or anything you don't have a ring cameras no and nothing was stolen things were just thrown out of drawers and the um you know like on a light switch like the plastic thing like the panel yeah that was unscrewed that is so weird i don't know it was so weird oh my god was the door open was the door like open the side side window was open and then we had a doggy door and uh my dog link she got out oh. And we think and the cops think too, she was chasing them. Because we found

her like down an alley. That's crazy. That's the other dangerous side of social media is people know you're not home. They're like, we're going to go break in. It's fucking crazy. Which is crazy because you have so many people. But they didn't tell anything. So weird. Anyway, yeah. So lucky number seven. That is weird. But you're like, well, you know, maybe it was lucky you weren't there. Maybe that's the luck

of it all. Right, right. And I found my dog oh that's good is she still good yeah okay she's still good i don't know i'm like i don't know how long dogs live i've never had a dog so i don't know yes she's in new york yep i have her new york so cute she's my pride and joy um i'm 1995 i have um odd i got that on the podcast we did a tattoo episode oh my god and we just like pulled things out of a hat and i got that okay i love that though odd is cute feeling is healing because it is yeah that one's cute an aries sign um aries makes sense i got this like goofy flower like kind of ugly handwritten flower on purpose i wanted it to be like ugly handwriting it's actually my nephew's handwriting but he's a kid kid. So that's so cute. Wonky. What's it say? It says I grew.

I got this in 2021 after a really dark time in my life because I got out of it. I grew. Oh, I love that so much. And what's your hand? Oh, it says it is what it is till it ain't. That's a Mac Miller quote. Oh, I love that. I thought it was like you. I was ain't that's a mac miller quote oh okay i love that i thought it was like you i was like that's so like smart i mean but i guess i live by it um i also have mac here for a lot of reasons mac miller obviously i love him and then my niece and nephew that's their middle name mac oh really that's so cute and then uh the two hands it's like kind of a spin on the creation of adam like a human hand and then uh like a cursor because like man and technology is like our modern world i kind of love that that's kind of everything yeah that one's really cool um i got the word here because like this wrist says

1995 here it's kind of like a timeline stay present present right here i love that. This is a lily, but it was actually a cover up of a spatula. I loved the spatula. I actually, I got the spatula. You remember this? I cook. So I like, the tattoo made sense for me, but I got it the night before Scott and I broke up. Oh no.

And I remember the next morning, like the morning that we broke up, I was like, oh babe, like like look at my new tattoo and he like didn't really react to it and that's when i knew something was wrong and then we broke up like well you didn't know it was coming no oh my gosh but like it didn't like not like we were definitely yeah not supposed to be together like he doesn't know you didn't get it right there i was like like oh happy like look at my new tattoo and then yeah that's the memory you don't want. I covered it up. Oh. What was the special for? I was just cooking.

I was just cooking, yeah. And I have a garlic. Oh, gosh. I just love food. Never enough. Is that from like Greatest Showman or something? No, it's just never enough garlic. I love that.

Do you cook with garlic? Oh, hell yeah. Yeah, we do too. I love garlic. I've never cooked before this house. It's like onion and garlic is everything. We cook everything. Oh, I put it in everything.

I love that. I have an apple here. Okay. So Leanna and I, when we, you said shout out apple? Yeah, shout out apple. It looks like sponsored. Sponsored by apples. Yeah. We met in third grade at the beanbag chairs and we were sharing our snacks

and we had an apple so we each got an apple too to remember when we met. Oh my, it looks like the apple logo kind of. It does. Well I guess there's a little dent in it. A little bite out of it. Okay. I love that. Oh, my God. This is my first car.

What's that one? It's a BMW E30 1991. Did you love it? I loved it so much. I mean, you got a tattoo of it. You must have loved it. It was my favorite thing in the world. This is my first tattoo.

It's just a circle. And then on Alex's left arm, she has an X. So when we put our arms together, it's X and O. Wow. You guys are bonded. You guys are bonded. Yeah. I'm like, all three of you have tattoos. No, it has an X. So when we put our arms together, it's X and L. Wow. You guys are like bonded. You guys are like bonded. Yeah. I'm like all three of you have tattoos.

Yeah. No, it better work out. Wow. I figured we've been friends this long. If it's going to fail, I think it failed by now. That's amazing. No, I always think people have like lifelong friendships. It's like, wow, you're –

I'm so grateful for it. I don't know why I'd be without those girls. Wow. That's really amazing. I think that's so cool. And then that's it for your tattoos. Do you have anything on your body? Ribs?

Oh, I have – not on ribs ribs i have on my neck strategically impulsive okay just like a contradicting term strategically oh right like i plan to be impulsive right okay and i i feel like that's me i'm a very impulsive person but i also i trust my gut yeah i kind of like i could think quick you don't want to be impulsive I feel like I feel it though I feel like sometimes I know when to be impulsive and why not to be like that's not the time yeah that makes sense my therapist actually she called me this in a session one time and I was like that's good I'm getting that tattoo and I came the next session she was like she's British too like so like she's like a fairy she's like oh you got it tattooed sorry worst accent ever

she was just like she's like light and cute i don't know i love that so i got that tattooed and um i think that's it none on your body anywhere oh i have a pineapple on my back i got it matching with my sister because we love spongebob okay because i just posted a pineapple the other day and someone's like it means you're a swinger and i was like what i know i've been thinking about getting it covered up not because i don't love my sister but i would we were in italy and her dad oh no he was like he's known me all my life too and he was like kristin are you i was like what he's like you have a pineapple on your back I was like no it's for Spongebob like the least swinger thing possible.

I hate that it becomes that because my dad had like hair and it looked like a pineapple so I put a pineapple emoji and everyone was like that means you're a swinger. I'm like this is so dumb. I hate when people take in it. Oh really? I guess because it's like is it your lower back? No it's like bra strap level. Okay. Like on this side. It does kind of look like a little signal like

Right it's behind me. I know. Trust me. It's like here. I like purposely don this side. It does kind of like a little signal like. Right. It's behind me. I know. Trust me. It's like here. I like purposely don't wear shirts that show it now. Like it. That's so funny. But that's kind of cute though.

So the only one you got covered up was the spatula. Yeah. Oh my God. Yeah. Wow. How crazy. I've, I've never been broken up with.

I've only just been like blocked. It's so weird to me. The concept of like someone sitting you down and be like, I don't think we need to be together anymore like that would i i've never broken up with someone either for that reason like that's so weird to me that's so odd yeah i i don't know it was like healthy though like i feel like the best case scenario than just being like you know either like cheating and dip in or blocking and not having any type of like closure closure like wrapping

your head around what's happening were you just like okay yeah i don't want to get too personal okay no i was just like i can't even fathom a situation like that like a breakup to me sounds so awkward i'd rather actually i'd rather someone just like text me or something because like in person yeah i don't know that's wow is that the and the first time you said it was someone cheated on you so those were pretty hard out so that was the only time it was like it was like hey it's not working out yeah damn that hurts me i don't know i would i would like i don't know how i would feel i don't know it's so crazy to do that to like face to face to someone but yeah anyways you're in a better place absolutely no it's i i think it's best case scenario to at least you know you spend

so much long with or so much spend so much time with someone. Yeah. Like having a conversation is respectful. That's what to me is crazy. I was like – for us, I was just like, I just think we've put in so much time at this point. I'm like, I can't really say – what am I going to do? Find someone else? Like I guess we're older too.

You guys were young. It's different. Yeah, yeah. I think when you're old, you're just like – when people break up – this is like the worst. This is like such a hot take. But when you like break up at like, you know, in your 50s or something, I'm just like, where are you going? I know. Like who was it?

It was a Hugh Jackman I think was married for like 25 years and they just got divorced or 30. And I was just like, damn. I couldn't imagine. I mean like to be that secure in your own at that age too or at least I assume. In your 50s like you you really have your routine down yeah to say the least and then to like just be like and actually we're done and rebuild at that age like people do it though and people come out way better on the other side for it no it is amazing i'm just never a rebuilder i'm not good at rebuilding i will hang

on to the end it's like when we're talking about cheating too i'm just kind of like i guess i'll just hang on you know what i mean it's when we talk about cheating too. I'm just kind of like, I guess I'll just hang on. You know what I mean? It's not healthy, but you know. Give yourself credit though, Trisha. You've rebuilt a lot. Because I was forced to. I feel like when you're forced to, you're just like,

okay, I guess I have to. A lot of growth is forced. Yeah. I don't think I would have ever gotten to therapy if I didn't go through that breakup. Yeah. I wouldn't have done

a smidge of the healing that I've done if it weren't for that breakup in those years of my life. Like they, you know, that type of sucks in the moment, but like you find out so much more about you. Yeah. Sometimes you have to be pushed like that, you know, to change. That is true. Especially you being so young and not knowing who you are like that's, that is terrifying. But then now finding it, cause you are just like the way you are now it's just like a complete from the minute you walked in here i was just like it just felt

like a completely different person we didn't know each other that well so i'm not trying to say like i knew you like this but i'm just like crazy and then hearing you on the podcast and just everything i was just like wow it's amazing how different you are thank you in the best way possible and how just like well spoken you are intelligent you are and also just like the stuff that you talk about how vulnerable you are because i just like thought back then i was like because you've been self admitted that you just weren't so open back then not at all so to be that place now at 28 is still like amazing and it does help so many people yeah especially the girls that like follow you and stuff like that i think that's why i like influencers i just think they're i think it

is important a lot of influencers are like and stuff like that but i'm just like you know the ones that are like out there like there trying to help by just sharing their lives, not everyone's brave enough to do that. Yeah. Thank you. I always think, like, if I'm going to go through this and go through the ringer, I might as well make it worth something. And even if I could just help

someone else with it, it was worth something. Exactly. It's very modern-day Sex and the City. It's very just like, this is my life right now. And I think it just, I think that's why people like those shows too, but this is your life in reality. So where is your balance now with it? How are you, are you, you're posting, but are you like, you're not vlogging like your last boyfriend or anything? You're not like vlogging together. No, no, no. I, and that's something I, even if we stayed together, I was, I never planned to do like

I, he had a decoy name on the podcast. Like nobody knows who he really was or anything. No pictures? Uh, face cut out or be like, you know, like kind of thing. Like the soft launch. Right. Wow. Yeah.

I don't think I'll ever have that type of public love again. Cause it just made, it made things just so much stickier. Like obviously made the breakup hard for reasons we already spoke about but like i don't know just love is so sacred yeah and like i don't want to have these like exterior perception of like what it could be i don't know so or i'm just digging oh this guy did this his tweets in 2010 it's like awful. Exactly. Hold on. What was your question?

Just like the boundaries. No, where you're at now. Oh, yeah. The balance of personal and. It just depends what it is. Yeah. Like there's. I think I've.

I've come to the point now where like I don't say every little single detail of what's going on. Because even like some of the stuff I'm dealing with like family right now for example a lot of it isn't mine to speak on but i will take what i'm learning from it on like an individual level and then i'll share that type of stuff yeah so i kind of learned how to like filter and like pull out the the lessons of the nitty-gritty that i'm going through as a human as we're all going through but then like translating it in a way that's more general for people to digest and like apply to their own situations. What's a recent lesson that you like learned that you've shared? I would say understanding that you cannot control how people live their lives and like you want what's best for people and

i feel like a lot of people cling on to like help people around them whether that's like their parent or their spouse or whatever and they're like they try to like control them because they're like no like you need to do this you need to be better and that it's coming from love but like it can also do more harm and you can enable people to like only do things because of you and become codependent and i don't know is that making any sense like i'm trying to wrap up a very big idea in one sentence but no the idea is great i think that's a good sentiment to put out there is like not control you can't control other people's lives people are gonna live their life and do what they want to do and if you don't like it you can't change it but you can create your own

boundaries and set yourself apart from it and protect your energy from it but like ultimately you can't you can't control anybody that is the best advice I feel because it is true. So if – because, again, I'm not – it's a vague thing what you're referring to. We don't have to get specific. But it's like when you see someone that's living their life in a way that, like, you wouldn't necessarily agree with or approve of or want to be around, what's your advice then? You love this person. Do you distance yourself? Do you – what do you do?

It's – I mean, I'm still learning it too. So it's such a fine line, but like, it's not exhausting yourself with trying to control them. Like, obviously it's important to be a good friend, a good spouse, a good, you know, daughter, a good parent, and like encourage those around you to do better or, you know, hold them accountable and all that. Like, that's what good people do in your life. But if it's getting to the point where you're now like, oh, they're not listening to me or like, they're not changing and I'm doing everything I can. It's like, yeah,

because you're not them. Like, you can lead a horse to water, but you can't force it to drink. Exactly. Exactly. Yes. Just don't exhaust yourself over it. You will drive yourself to the ground. People are only going to change if they want to change. And it's hard. It's so tricky.

I've been on both sides of it, too, where I've been the mess that people are like, we need to help you. And it's just like I had to get on my own journey. But it is important to know that you have the support, even if it's from a distance or you know what I mean. It's that balance. you and it's just like I had to get on my own journey but it is important to like know that you have the support even if from like a distance or you know what I mean balance yeah it's hard because yeah I think it's with friendships since you obviously have great friendships and it's like lasts so long what would you say is the best advice to keeping friendships because I never have friendships oh gosh I um there's so much. Holding your friends accountable is a big one, honestly. Actually, Alex and I did an episode on friendship recently, and we were talking more so like adult friendships.

Because I feel like when you're growing up, kid friendships are, I mean, they're more simple because kids are all, it's a level playing ground. Like you're in the same grade. You generally have the same interest because you're literally like eight like you're you know there's there's not many differences like you're just learning your personalities you're a kid it's really it's easy it's just like hey do you want to play yeah sure now you're best friends yeah but as adults I feel like it's to nurture an adult friendship is to really recognize you're still individuals and like I feel like that's even kind of where codependency can come into play.

Like if you lean into friends too much. I don't want to say that because like friends are also really good. But like growing apart but still supporting each other through all versions of that growth. Like my friends have seen me all over all like all different versions of me and me the same with them. But like, I don't know, just having that unconditional love I think is so important to find in friends. It's so important to find in lovers, but like, I think it's just like so important to find in friends too. I think that's so interesting because like how you said you changed so much in your 20s. How do you guys go with the changes, right? Like you're having separate lives. How do you keep

it together for each other? I mean, there's an ebb and flow too of like there might be times where you're not talking as much or like right now, I mean, Leanna lives in LA, Alex and I are in New York, Bree's in Arizona. We're all over the map at this point. So it's a lot of like the time that you can spend together, soak it up. But also like, you know, check in when needed. Always check in on your friends, but like let them go be their own individuals too, I guess. You just have that bond. It's like what family should be to some people. It's just like no matter if you don't see each other for two years, you just pick up where you left off.

Exactly. Yeah. It's hard, though. I mean, like any relationship, it takes work. I think – Making time. Make time. A lot of people apply this stuff to just romantic relationships, but I think it applies with friendships.

Make time. Communicate. Set boundaries. Like really think about the people you surround yourself with and the version of you that they bring out you know it might be fun for one crazy night out but like is that a sustainable friend for when you're in your dark times and you need to lean in on someone or sit in silence with someone are they supportive like that's just something i think about with everybody in my life like will they accept me and you know all sides me? It's hard to find those people. That's what I'm saying. To maintain those

friendships is like just super difficult. I think my flaw with friendships is just like not making time for people I've just never had. I don't know. Even when I'm like single, I'm just like, how do you make the time? I don't know. I think I'm just, I was just so selfish for so long. So I think to have like friendships, you just have to be like not selfish. Yeah. Would you consider yourself selfless? Absolutely. Yeah. Yeah. Not selfish. I think selfish gets a bad rap. I think it's okay to be selfish in certain parts of your life, like when you're creating the boundaries or maybe even needing to distance yourself from certain people, like I said, that are like bringing out a side of you that you don't want anymore, that can come off as like selfish and wow, you're just going to cut me off because blah, blah, blah. It's like, no, I need to protect

myself. And I think that's when selfish is a good thing. Maybe it wouldn't even use selfish as that word then, but. People would use it, but yeah, it's like not a bad thing. Yeah. Yeah. Exactly. Did you ever have a friendship breakup? I had like kind of one but it was we just kind of grew apart like it wasn't like a a blowout or anything yeah that happened I just like we lived together at the time and then we moved out from each other and we kind of just like lost contact okay but that's another thing to be expected in friendships is friendships also fade. There's also friends that you'll have for seasons of your life. And if you start to grow in another direction or they start to grow in another direction and you don't stay close, that's normal too.

But not for you. I feel like you keep the – You have friendships forever it seems. Liza, your friends from high school. Yeah. Those are definitely, like, my core. But I also, I have, like, friends, I guess, that, like, I'm not as, like, you know, best, best, best friends. Yeah.

But that I've had in and out of seasons of my life. And those are also just as important. Yeah. To, like, have support in your life is, like, a big thing. Exactly. So when you go back home now, when do you guys leave next week? Cause this will air after Valentine's day,

but like how is San Francisco now? When's the last time you were back there? I went a few months ago. I was in the actual city. It's so different now. Have you ever been? I just hear horror stories of it. Like it's just dangerous.

It's gotten really bad. Is it like, cause I know San Francisco should be so poppin. And literally i knew a friend that just went up there and like they were just like robbed like broad daylight i mean oakland's horrible have you seen oakland on tiktok there's i mean certain parts yeah everything's shutting down like they're denny shut down they're in and out shut down like just because there's just robberies in middle of the day people being held at gunpoint and i was like and i heard san francisco was bad i haven't been there in so long but it's bad right now. Are you in the city?

No, no, no. I'm like East Bay. Like, yeah, I'm probably like 20, 30 minutes east of San Francisco. But I mean, I grew up going there like on, you know, Friday nights or even just take drives out there. It's a beautiful city. But every time I go back since I moved, I'm like, what is this place? It's kind of scary. Yeah they say it's like not

good for like tourists right now because I've I've only been once. I lost a charm. Yeah and I just feel like they have such good things like Fisherman's Wharf and like all those cute places or they have like a Ghirardelli factory. I went once as a kid and I remember that or their bread at the airport. Yeah. Boudin. Yeah. Oh so do you drive up or you

fly? We're driving. I'm so excited from la driving yeah we were literally just talking about that drive the other day i'm like god it's such a pretty drive because you go through like san luis obispo and just like all those really good places that's if you take the coast oh what do you like what do you take the five it's ugly don't take the five it's literally like a straight shot and it's you drive past cows and you drive past like chain restaurants and that's it oh so why don't you take the pretty route it's just longer it just takes longer yeah okay so you're not doing like a cute road trip or anything like that you're like we're just getting up there yeah why not fly i don't know

oh well she's bringing her dog so okay cute cute and so do you get excited in general to go back or you're just like this trip yes yes i'm obviously like really excited for the super bowl and excited to see my family yeah we've kind of been like going through some the family and i feel like this is the first time we're able to see each other in a few months so it's a necessary trip yeah i haven't been back to my hometown since i graduated i was like bye where did you go illinois what was that um just awful and like i blocked everything out i like literally when people tell me about talk about it it's like i don't even remember.

Like, I just don't remember. And I grew up there my whole life, like school and stuff like that. But I, when I graduated, I like left California the same day and I just don't, yeah,

I don't remember any of it. It's so weird. I'm like, well, I don't even know. Like, I don't know. I don't remember people.

I don't remember things. Yeah. Just a little trauma here and there. I like remember, I was like, Oh, I kind of remember that. I kind of remember that,

but it's all foggy and it's all a lot but do you have any urge to go back is family there at all um we don't talk to any of them i don't i yeah we're not close to extended family not for i don't know not for any reason i know maybe it's like something my parents or something but do you ever talk to your parents because you're pretty close to your mom right yeah my mom's like upstairs now watching our daughter she lives like five minutes away my sister lives five minutes away love that yeah Our immediate family is close. My dad's close. And so we're all close.

But yeah. Do you now, do you ever notice yourself telling her things that happened growing up? My mom? That she didn't know that was happening then? It's so interesting. I really don't. Even my dad, too. He'll tell you.

We have such, my mom and I maybe a little more so, but not about the past. And my dad has zero idea. He was in California. He has Illinois. So it's this very, my dad and I maybe a little more so but not about like the past and my dad has zero idea he was he was in California as Illinois so it's just very um my dad and I have very surface level I love him but like we have no deep conversations ever um and then my mom and I we just I don't know I think it's just like we all blocked it out it was such a weird time you know yeah that's been my favorite part of growing up though is being like hey mom so you remember that time where I told you I was going to Alex's house I snuck out that night or whatever like i that's my favorite part of growing up and what did she really i mean what is she gonna do now around me like yeah she would

just be like oh okay like i think i'll take everything to the grave i never talk about anything with my mom or my dad i'm like you know what let's just and i wasn't even that person because i was like i didn't have friends i have any words sneak out too but just other stuff i'm just like i think i never will i think maybe moses might be the only he doesn't even that person because I didn't have friends. I haven't even worn a sneak out, too. But just other stuff. I'm just like, I think I never will. I think maybe Moses might be the only person. He doesn't even know how to have some of this stuff. I just keep everything to myself. I don't know.

It's very weird. That's okay, too. Yeah. I just like to pretend I didn't have a childhood or something. I hear you. Sometimes it's just easier to block it out and get it. I think so. I get it.

I think there's so many things. And it kind of does over time. Even, like I said, as recent as 2018 or 2021, there's so much I have blocked out, out even recent and it's kind of crazy because I remember a lot of it vividly but when people ask me about stuff I'm like do you remember did you do reality how you did reality house one did you you weren't two you didn't come back for two no no because I just saw Amari from two and he's like oh remember you were so pissed you were yelling at everyone in the house for reality house two I was like I don't remember even being there like I don't even remember i came back for it like it was weird i probably could watch it and maybe remember but i was like he's like yeah you and me were in a challenge and i thought you were mad at me i

couldn't tell you don't remember any of it and reality house is another one and i only recently watched it because i just did a collab with jake weber do you remember him yeah oh my god yeah i didn't know him at the time god i love when you that. God, I love when you dress up, Trish. It's so good. I was excited. I saw their views and I was like, okay, these emo boys wouldn't hang out with me. Not knowing we were in Reality House together and he voted me out every single time. And then people found out.

He's very nice. They're very cool. But I rewatched it because he was in a challenge with me. But I blocked out everything. I don't even remember. We were eating eggs or something. I don't remember any of it. That was my season. I remember the eggs. Yeah, we were in the house together. But again, it's so weird. Like we, I watched it. I'm like, did I just not talk to anyone? Was I just blacked out? Like it was such a weird thing. It was a weird time. I get it. And you doing that, it's so funny because I was watching just

clips of it and stuff like that. And I was like, what was your thoughts at the time? Because again, you were back then to me, I always thought you were just very quiet and reserved, but this is like, you're on a reality show. Like ask, you know? Yeah. And it's like, what made you do that? I mean, I remember JC just asked me and I was like, Oh, you were friends with them. Yeah. Okay. And I did not deserve to be on there. Do you remember? Wait, why? Do you remember the first challenge when we had to throw the ball? I rewatched it. And I switched with, what was his name? Chad?

Chaz? Chad? Oh. Chad Tepper? Chaz Tepper? I kind of remember. Do you remember him? Kind of.

You might remember his face. I don't remember. I don't remember anything. Anyway, regardless, he got his ball in. I didn't. So I technically was supposed to go home night one. And I was like, no, I'm such a sore loser. Really?

No. And I paid him two thousand dollars to give me his spot. It was like it was part of it. It wasn't like low key. Like it was part of the. That's so. Wait, why do you want to stay? I just want to see it through.

I kind of get it. Oh, because that was the first challenge. So I kind of get that. I packed my bag. Like I'm like bougieie you're like two thousand dollars no i mean that is bougie i don't even think that i would have given two thousand dollars yeah wow but you made it to the end right yeah but i i'm trying to remember i don't think i ended up doing any challenge until the end i somehow like got under the radar nobody was voting me which i guess is good but i didn't end up doing any of the challenges

because you had to do a challenge if you were the bottom two, right? Yeah, I was always doing challenges. I did like ice bucket. I did the egg eating. I was like always, yeah. That's so interesting. I didn't do any. So I got to, I think I was final three.

Yeah. And it was me, Crawford, and Jake. Who won? Crawford. Okay. I'm pretty sure it was Crawford. See, I don't even remember now. I don't remember any of it.

My memory is so bad. It was so weird. And then I was like, when I looked him up just to Google who this was, I was just like, my God, that's so random, this person. But that whole experience, when I watch it, it almost, that feels like a, what do they call them, fever dreams? Yes. I was just like, wait, what were we doing?

What? We're all in this room. It's just like, I didn't know anyone except for you. Like, truly, I didn't know anyone else. And it's not even just me not knowing people. I was just like, this is, why am I there? I didn't know JC and Kian. Like, I knew nobody.

It was, I mean, it was fun. It was cool to do. I'll definitely never forget it. But I feel you. When I rewatch stuff from my past, I'm like, who is that? I don't even rewatch old stuff. I couldn't either. I was cringing the whole time. I don't even rewatch, like, my own videos. Like, I don't even rewatch old stuff. I couldn't either. I was cringing the whole time.

I don't even rewatch like my own videos. Like I do not like rewatching stuff. Oh, I deleted a bunch. Have you ever deleted old videos? No, no. You kept it all. I delete. Yeah, I think everything's up.

I think I've deleted like thousands of videos for sure. I mean, honestly, it's probably smart to do. Yeah. Because it is out there forever if you don't. Oh, and people still find clips from like 2011. And it's like stuff I deleted so long. I don know like i always talk about my baby names and i'm like i've always talked about this so people will find clips from 2011 just like videos that i've deleted ages ago and they're finding it now they're like oh look yeah she mentioned her baby

names in this video which is like that stuff is cool but then when other stuff comes up you're just like oh yikes but that just goes to show when you delete it it's still somewhere like nothing actually deletes. Yeah. It's terrifying. That is a thing. Once it's on the internet, it's there forever. Do you ever see yourself, you talked about being like a therapist, but does that mean like in real life or like online?

Because you can never have a real job, right? I think I would do it online. Like I think I would do both. Even Dr. Drew style. Right. Right. I've been thinking about like the acupuncture school too, like possibly going back for that. And I think that would be something cool to break into and kind of, I wouldn't like completely

switch gears, but bringing something to my content that's like about like healing and like natural healing and Chinese medicine. And I don't know, maybe attracting new audience because of it. Because like, yeah, I go on TikTok and I try to research acupuncture stuff and there's really not a lot of content around it really so I thought it'd be cool what if I did both and like open my own practice but then it was like like a like a celebrity acupuncture yeah oh people would go you see the chiropractor like that guy he's like yes and he's like getting all these clients yes he's like a real chiropractor like but that's why they're so smart with social media. It's just like plastic surgeons on there and stuff.

It's so smart. Yeah. You're doing all the trends with acupuncture. Right. Yeah. Because there's not a market for it. I feel like that's so smart. So you do truly genuinely love the influencer world.

You love making content. You don't see anything else in your feet for you. I see things I can add to it. Yeah. But not disappearing. No i i really like it i really i love connecting with people i think it's it's opened up my mind in ways that i don't think i could have without the internet like the the conversations i have with people i've never met but like the vulnerability i hear from you know across the world or in another state or like

i just love connecting over the internet. It's a cool thing to me. The internet's the scariest place in the world, but it's also really cool. So cool. I think the pros outweigh the cons a hundred percent. That's why I still do it too. Cause it's just so cool. And I love seeing like new generations and new things come up. It's just fun. And it's fun to be here on it and like create content. Yeah. And I think you can tell when someone genuinely loves making the content. And I feel like those are the people that need to like stick around because there's those people who just like are in it for money and like make a lot of money.

But it's like when you genuinely love it, that's when people get into it. Yep. Agreed. I think it's amazing. Where do you see yourself like in like with the podcast, with the acupuncture and stuff like that, but also in your personal life? Like what's your dream life if you could visualize it or dream it? Gosh, I do this every night in bed.

I sit there and I like. Do you? I love visualizing my life. It's so so fun health is a big thing for me that's something I constantly try to manifest for myself and those around me I'm sure that derives from a lot of the health anxiety that I live with but I just want like I don't I don't care for even like like the big house or like the the material things that sounds so like fortune cookie and like cringy, but I genuinely value my health so much. I've seen a lot of people in my family

deal with a lot of serious health issues. And all I want is just a healthy, sustainable, normal life. Like I just want to keep it simple. That's how I look at like my dreams is I just want simplicity. I think once I start to overcomplicate it, I lose myself. I don't know. I love to daydream, but even getting asked like, where do you see yourself in five years? You know, you hear that question all the time.

I don't know. Yeah. You're just like, I want to be healthy. I don't care. Yeah. As long as I'm healthy and I have a roof over my head and I still have my best friends and my family and my sister and like I'm chilling health is health is one of those things what they say like you don't know it until you don't have it anymore like exactly dude you have to be thankful for like I'm big on gratitude and it's like that is

one thing I'm like well at least I can like walk and stuff like I think about that all the time anytime I start to like complain about something that I shouldn't be complaining about, I check myself and I'm like, that seems like a pretty, a pretty good complaint to have. Of course. I think that too. I'm always like, I'm fat and this, I'm whatever. I'm like, okay, I'm able to have a baby. I'm able to walk. I'm able to breathe. Like, you know, and like so many people don't have that. And it's like, that's the number one thing I'm always grateful for is like good health for sure. I think that's such a good thing. Good health and financial security is a big one for me. But like, like I said, I'm not, I don't need to be out here being like a

multimillionaire, but just enough to like live in my means. If I have kids, you know, put them in school, whatever it might look like. I, that's it. I don't know. No, it's the best. It almost feels like close-minded of me, but I think I just kind of. Keeping it simple. I'm done trying to plan. Yeah. Like over it. I feel like when you plan is when things like get stressful.

You let life happen. Yeah. Just have it be that way. Expectations low. Yeah. But that is true. When you keep them low, you can only exceed it. You know what I mean?

Which I think is so amazing. So you're not, you're Aries. You're not really driven by money in general. Kind of. I have a lot of Pisces in my chart though. Oh, okay. Interesting. So that's where a lot of like my emotional side comes out and my intuition and it's water.

Because like Aries I know are calm and cool. Oh, right. Aries are kind of crazy. Really? I guess it depends on the Aries. All the ones I know are like chill, but maybe, I don't know. And you're like chill. So I'm like, you fit Aries, but. I don't know. I don't know. Like my stepdad on the Aries. All the ones I know are like chill, but maybe, I don't know. And you're like chill, so I'm like, you fit Aries, but.

I don't know. I don't know. Like my stepdad's an Aries. Okay. And he's a hothead. Really? Like he's full of energy and like stubborn and competitive. That sounds like a Taurus.

Right. That's crazy. A Taurus man. That sounds like a Taurus man. Yeah. So I don't know. I think there's some, I love astrology. Like don't get me wrong.

Do you? But there's so many factors that go into what makes you like, I believe in it. I, I, I never been into it that much, but sometimes I'm like, Oh, I kind of get it now. When's your birthday? I'm Taurus. I'm May 8th. May 8th.

Okay. Yeah. Do you know like your moon and your rising? No, I don't. I'm so bad at it. I know. How do I do that? I think like you have to know the astrology.com or something.

Yeah. I never knew that. I was always like, how do you find that out like you have to know the astrology.com or something. Yeah. I never knew that. I was always like, how do you find that out? Was it on your birth certificate? It should be. Your birth chart's like on the back. I don't know. If I was president, I would totally know that.

Right. Like you have to know the time of birth. People always ask me like, what time were you born? I'm like, who knows what time they're born? Well, that's on your birth certificate. I thought you meant the birth chart. Oh, no. I thought you meant the birth time.

I'm like, yeah, it should be. I think that should be on it. Wait. Okay. But yeah, you do your time chart. Oh, no. I thought you meant the birth chart. I'm like, yeah, it should be. I think that should be on it. Okay. But yeah, you do your time and where you're born. Oh. And then it tells you like where everything was at in the sky. I don't know the other ones either. But sometimes I like, like you said, I'm kind of like, I believe it sometimes.

And sometimes I just believe in stars in general, like universal alignment and stuff. So that's my higher power. Yeah. Universe is my higher power. Okay. That's what I wonder because people call it, I've researched, you know, source know source god yeah jesus you know all that stuff like that i i believe it all i i i'd like to believe like we're all talking about the same thing but putting it in a different term which is all relative and valid to everybody's belief no matter you know who or what you're

talking about i think ultimately it's just important that humans have something that they see as a higher power and can like you know it takes the ego out of things for sure that i think that's like i studied so much because i was trying to figure out like where my religion was i said like islam paganism wiccan hinduism like christianity judaism and it is all like praying it's like manifesting like it's all putting it out there, you know, and trying to be good and like the karmic of it all, you know, just being like good and getting good back. I think that's like the main thing for most religions, like putting good out, you know. Did you grow up religious? Yeah.

Yeah. My dad was Catholic. So I was like Catholic in the Catholic church. But like nothing. It was always complicated to me. I was like, you know, Catholics, they have like saints and Mary and there's just so many people you pray to. So it's always complicated.

And then I was like, well, maybe my husband was raised Jewish, but he's not, he's just spiritual. He's not religious. So then I was like, maybe I should convert and all stuff like that. It's just, but then there's like, we're both just spiritual and I kind of just go on that spiritual path. And I think that's for us the better route. Who knows?

My daughter might be. We're true. Yeah. She might be into religion. I don't know. Maybe. Who knows? But I was going to say back to the health thing. I always thought you were vegan. Who knows? My daughter might be. We're true. Yeah, she might be into religion. I don't know. Maybe. Who knows? But I was going to say, back to the health thing.

I always thought you were vegan. That was the thing that surprised me. And I saw you eating steak. I love steak. I'm on a steak hic right now. I don't know what's up. Yes. You were like literally, I don't know if you were, maybe you were cooking it or I don't

know. You just had this like really good piece of steak and you're like, oh my God, you eat steak. That was the thing that surprised me. But you were vegan. I was vegan for like eight months. I just didn't do it right. I got kind of sick. Again, I just didn't do it right. was the thing that surprised me but you were vegan i was vegan for like eight months i just didn't do it right i got kind of sick again i just didn't do it right like i know it's there's

ways to do it that are so healthy i just don't think it worked for my body at least at the time i tried it when i was like 23 so who knows oh and what was it was it hard because you know it's also very in like hinduism it's very big to be like vegan to not have animals in their souls right was that you or was it like health reasons health okay i also at that time i was just one of those people that love to like bounce around um like different types of diets like i tried keto for a little bit i tried really why keto pescatarian like just literally to try it i was like to like see what will work with my body but But yeah, being vegan, kind of my gut. I have a really sensitive stomach. Interesting.

It was a lot of like, that's when I realized chickpeas and cauliflower I cannot do. And that's like a big part because I tried being a vegan for a month and they'd have like cauliflower, mac and cheese and hummus. Interesting. What was it? It would just mess up your stomach. Yeah, just to shreds. Oh, yeah.

I feel like I'd be be i'm a bad vegan too because i eat like french fries i'm like i'll just have some fries and it's like that's like the worst thing literally next to the bacon yeah i know it's like so and then keto's the opposite keto's like eat as much bacon as you want heavy it's fats oh god i don't remember that's no carbs for the most part right no carbs no sugar i think is keto yeah i don't know that one's hard there was one i did um starts with p paleo oh that was so oh yeah i don't know how people do that either in the modern world like i couldn't get sauces with anything yeah that one was hard i did that for like two weeks i could not i could not do that one wild yeah i know those diets are so crazy to

me i'm like are you just now what do you just do? I guess intuitive eating, whatever, whatever I feel my body wants in that moment. I go eat. I love that. I always like hear so much about intuitive eating. I'm like, that's amazing. Yeah. I love the stuff you eat too. You're such a, you should be a food vlogger. I feel like, I know you said you cook. I'm like, that is so your client. Cause all the food you did have like on your TikTok, I was like, that looks so good. I do try and film it as much as possible. And I often wish I had like an assistant. I could just film it while I do it. Because when I cook, cooking is, it is my meditation. Like cooking and driving are those two things I get out of my head because I'm focused using my hands.

And if I had somebody to film it, it would be so much better. But I just don't think to grab the camera. It's so hard to set up shots too because you have to angle it at the pot. And then you're cutting and your hands, it's just like a lot. And I have to set up the camera, but like something's on the burner. It's so hard to set up shots too because you have to angle it at the pot and then you're cutting and your hands. It's just like a lot. And I have to set up the camera but like something's on the burner. Yeah. It's gonna like start burning. It takes double the time because I was like into cooking videos too. I like love cooking. I love watching them.

Oh, they're so good. Or like the ones that are just like keep it short like on TikTok. It's like so fun to watch. I'm so bad at it. That's what I'm saying about this job. I'm so bad at filming. I'm so bad at like I cooked an amazing I'm saying about this job. I'm so bad at filming. I'm so bad at – like I cooked an amazing steak for us the other night. What you saw in the story. Yeah.

It was so good, Trisha. It was like one of the best steaks I ever made. We finished eating and she's like, dude, you didn't even vlog it. And I was like, oh, shit. Not even for TikTok? You could do quick on TikTok. I just don't think about it. I'm so bad.

Especially steaks. That is like the one thing I feel like we can't cook. It's like – not that we can't. It's just so hard. Do you do it like high like the one thing I feel like we can't cook. It's like, not that we can't, just so hard. Do you do it like high heat? Like what's your secret? Butter? Medium.

It depends on the cut of steak, first of all. Definitely something to consider. But medium high heat on a skillet, I like to do. A lot of people do like the searing method where they do it on the skillet to get like the crust and then they put it in the oven to cook the rest of the way through. I just don't like, I don't like using the oven any interesting i don't know why wait why are you an air fryer person absolutely through very opposite when people are like sticking the air fryer i'm like how about put it in the oven like that's weird i don't know the oven stresses me out the

air fryer stresses me out putting like raw steak into an air fryer and then opening it and it's like so quick i was like what is that it's like, done. It's magic. It gets so quick. I was like, what is that? It's like a plastic thing. You don't trust it. No. How does it work? Do you know the science of an air fryer? I wish.

I don't either. Is it hot air? I don't know. I feel like it's like radioactive or something. It must be like, I'm like, if it's cooking it that fast

in plastic, I don't trust. Oven's been around since like the 1800s so I trust those. You're right. I'll do it if I have to. I use HelloFresh a lot and all their stuff. Are you sponsored by them? I am. I love that. 1800s so i trust those you're right i'll do it if i like if i have to like i use i use hello fresh

a lot and they all their stuff are you sponsored by them i am i love that good for you you can i love that you get sponsors okay shout out hello fresh um they a lot of their recipes call for the oven so i'll do it for that type of stuff if like i'm following a recipe but when i'm making my own stuff air fryer yes but most of the time i just like cooking on like skillets i like sauteing things and frying things and i like to be able to touch it the whole time whenever i put things in the oven and i walk away like i don't trust it i'm like i need to watch it yeah and it can cook fast and some our oven is so hot like things cook so quickly it's so inconsistent yeah yeah i feel like i love cooking i'm like such a thing when

you do your skill do you do thick or do you thin like you have like a thick one like it when you can make sauce and there's like more of like a like a shallow oh i see what you're saying because it depends on what um i use hexclad that's the brand yeah is it stainless steel i think they have their own it's like like their own technology. Wait, what is it? Hex cut. It looks like hexagons. Yeah. Like in the inside of it. Those are really nice pants.

They're expensive, but like. They're great. They really tapped into some new science with cooking. I wonder where we got ours. Why we got ours. Because we're not like, we don't know brands. I don't know. Where did we get ours from?

You just bought everything that was online you probably saw it and you're like yeah I get that well I like the Le Creuset is that how you say it I have no idea I just got one for Christmas it's my favorite thing

they really are so good what did you get they're so cool a skillet or like a dutch oven a big dutch oven I guess that's what it is where you can like boil water in it

yeah it's like I think it's like seven inches deep or something Alex got it for me for Christmas oh my god that's growing up is getting those type of gifts yeah that's so it's like, I think it's like seven inches deep or something. Alex got it for me for Christmas. Oh, my God. That's growing up is getting those type of gifts.

Yeah, that's so, it's so true. I was like, thank you so much. Oh, my God. What a great friend. Oh, my God. I guess you guys do the podcast together. I feel like podcast like bonds. It's like you're like, okay, we're making money together.

Let's, you know, get each other a car or something. Right. And then you step it up for Oscar. Oh, my God. I'm a Taylor Swift sweater. I'm like, God, you guys are buying each other like crusades. I mean, it'll come. I mean, we've been friends for 20 years

and we've been doing the podcast four years so maybe in our fourth year and we live together and I cook all the time so she totally got it knowing that she will benefit from the recipes

that are going to come out of it I thought about getting him knives because our knives are getting dull I'm like I think you need sharper knives you're like to cook for me yeah literally I love to cook

but he's a better cook so I'm just like alright I'll like let it happen cooking is just so great it's just so much better we never eat out like when we have to eat, I'll like let it happen. Cooking is just so great. It's just so much better. We never eat out. Like when we have to eat out, I'm like, oh, I don't want anything. I'm like, I'd rather just go home and eat. I still love eating out though. Well, you're in New York. Right. I love like sitting at restaurants and like, I love the experience of a restaurant. When it's nice. Like we go on like our day nights, we'll go to like something nice. We went to Tao the other day and it used

to be so trendy. I never, I think we went. We were just talking about Tao. That's weird. Wait, do you guys like it? Are you into Tao? i have not been in probably six years me too it was literally the only time i've been with david maybe we went i remember one time there was a big table that's someone's birthday yeah and then it was like just pass around whatever you got we just crossed paths so many times and like never knew each other until now and i just remember being that one time and it was like so trendy and everyone's wearing like cool outfits and I was like oh Tao's the place to go and taking pictures we went and it was like I literally like two weeks so we never go into Hollywood and we went and it was just like kids like parents with their kids and like really like

empty I don't know we went at like six o'clock maybe that wasn't like the time to go maybe it was too early but I was just like I was like dressed all well I wasn't that trendy I was pregnant but I was like oh I'm gonna have to fit in and I was like yeah I wasn't like fashion nova I was like whatever but I was shocked I was like I thought this was such a cool place like an it place and it kind of not is anymore LA feels so different like now visiting here coming back yeah the places that used to be so poppin I'm like god they're either shut down or they're dead like what like which places were you guys going to? Like eating clubs? Were you a club person?

I don't know. No, eating. I mean, like I've been to clubs, but. Yeah, and I wasn't either. I don't know. I think like my second half of living in LA, I mean, it was after the pandemic. So we kind of stopped going out, honestly. Just stayed in.

Yeah, stayed in and house parties. I think that's my favorite part of LA. Really? The house parties? I don't know if you've ever been to one. I don't know how you get invited to them. I'll take a house party over a club any day. How Really? The house parties? I don't think I've ever been to one. I don't know how you get invited to them. I'll take a house party over a club any day. How do you know about it?

I don't know. Because it depends on the house party. Are you like on a Discord or something? Like I don't understand. Or like a close friends story. They're like come over to the house. Yeah. I guess house parties are a thing.

I've never once known about house parties. Like never been to one. I don't think I've ever been to one. Hey, you should throw one. We did. But I have like 10 friends. Our house party is like 10 people. Everybody never been to one. I don't think I've ever been to one. You should throw one. We did, but I have like 10 friends. Our house party is like 10 people. Everybody gets their own room. It literally is.

Well, this is like a party house because outside we have such a big outdoor area if you go upstairs. This would be so cool. Yeah, we used to have parties, but it wasn't that lit. It was just, you know, 10 people or whatever. But I should.

I'm honestly not much of a partier. I'd rather like a, yeah, like a bar here and there maybe but i don't know you're a coachella girly though yeah not anymore i i went i went um the year i moved to new york in 2022 and that was the first one back since the two years that it was shut down yeah i keep postponing it it was fun don't get me wrong like you're gonna have fun at something like that regardless but alex and i looked at each other and we were like it's not the same it like lost its charm you are so when i think of you i get that a lot that's like you're the tumblr girl for coachella like you are the poster girl that's

wild but now you're like i'm over it i'm kind of over it it's just it's so different i sound like one of those like festival snobs, but like it really is different. What is different about it? So I've been going since 2014. Wow. Before the influencer. And it's like even back then people wore whatever they wanted to wear. It wasn't this like fashion show and brands and like all these parties outside the festival. It was just the festival food the music and the grass and like i literally went barefoot my first year like it it was like for the festival and now it's just it's like the grammy it's like it's people are getting so done up glam teams i'm like oh yeah when i when i went

my first two years i or no yeah two years i car camped like what is that exactly I've never been to Coachella so outside the festival they have uh this big lot and you buy a car camping pass and it's like a parking spot that's like 30 feet by like 15 feet and it fits your car and a tent and you literally just camp outside the festival so you go party all day and then you come back and they have showers, but they're like trailer showers. Like they're not nice. So no one's showering? Yeah. I love that.

You do, but like. The vibe. Someone's like, come on, hurry up. Like you have like two minutes to like rinse off the layers of dirt from the festival. That's great. I'm not. I just do not like showering. I mean, now I have a husband.

I shower, but I just like. Yeah. I just only shower like a couple times like a week. Hey, whatever. Whatever. I'm not getting dirty. Nobody's seeing me. Yeah. I get it. I have those weeks where I'm like, I times like a week. Hey, whatever. Whatever blows your boat. Nobody's seeing me. Yeah.

I get it. I have those weeks where I'm like, I haven't left the house in four days. Yeah. Like let me shower or shave. Are you a shaver? Not to get personal. No. Literally.

Whatever. I was just saying, like I shave my arms. My arms are really hairy naturally. They're stubbly right now, but I meant to. What? They're so smooth. Kind of. They're a little stubbly.

Oh my God. I feel like you're a person who wouldn't shave I thank you I mean you're not wrong you're not that weird no because it's very in right now right people just like not shaving the armpits and I'm like and I think it's great I just am because I'm bigger people already think like oh she's unhygienic so I can't but I would if I was like looking like you I think I'm not I think Tana also talks about like never shaving her legs for like a week's at a time. And I love that. I, it just depends what I'm wearing.

Yeah. I don't know. It depends on my mood. Okay. I shaved today because I was like, my armpit might slip in one of these. Like I, these cameras. People don't have, like when they don't shave. I love it.

Like I wish I could be that person. I have to like shave every day. Otherwise I'm like, oh, people think I'm disgusting. I typically let it bang. It's just, it's hair. Who cares? Yeah. If people think that's gross and they need to go get a hobby. I think they like shave every day. Otherwise I'm like, oh, people think I'm disgusting. I typically let it bang. It's just its hair. Who cares? If people think that's gross and they need to go get a hobby. I think they should bring back the bush.

I think they should too. I love it. Not on me again. Not on me. Mine's very wide and very puffy. So this looks like crazy. It looks like this wall. I was going to say you're describing the podcast. I should dye mine like this. It would be big enough. It would probably be the big of this. Wait probably be big in this yeah really cool pink and white that's actually a good idea inspiration my podcast bleaching my um i like the idea of it but yeah i wish more people would start it now you guys heard it bring back the bush i mean people did in the 70s i guess they got more crabs back then but is that is that why shaving happened do you think i think so it's like lice in your pubic hair I think I never had grabs because I never had pubic hair but oh my god yeah new fear unlocked now I'm like I'm gonna shave forever yeah well even like lice in the hair when I go to movie theaters I like put a hood up like I'm always I had lice as a kid so I think I'm a little

traumatized I had lice when I was a kid did you I uh it was seventh grade and I remember my family and I and my friend Cassie. She was like my best friend at the time. I was super like emo back then. I had like jet black hair. You were? Oh, yeah. I'll show you pictures.

I love that. And I had like the swoopy bangs and like just the angst, right? Good love. And I were sitting at the table and I think it was my sister or someone was like looking at my hair and she was like, Kristen. And we're at a restaurant too. She's like trying to keep it low-key oh no she's like were you there you're like shuddering in horror okay i was like oh no you're traumatized but you might remember this time of our lives though but she was like i think you have lice my mom was like my mom was pissed

she was like are you kidding me at you or the girl at me oh but like what sorry sorry i got lice like i put it there. Whatever. That's another issue. Yeah, yeah, yeah. My parents always yelled at me, too, if I like pooped my pants at six. Like, why'd you poop your pants? And I was like, it was my dad. I was like, oh. I'm sorry I'm a baby. Yeah.

Like, what do you expect? See, I think we have more compassion this generation. You're right. So she's like, what? We get everything to go. We leave the restaurant. And she's like looking up things to do. Like, we went to CVS.

Got like a lice kit. The nicks. Which is, it's like the tiny thin tooth combs you try to it wasn't working like it we had it really bad who they have it didn't work didn't work and my sister was like just dye her hair black again and we put black dye on my head because i was doing that every like few months anyway at the time killed it they were gone no way like revlon two dollar box it kills it it killed it where the bugs just fall out then they all died and then we did the comb

and got all the dead bodies and then got it oh my god we just cut my hair i could do like we had princess diana cuts we're just like so short and stuff like that oh my god you went like yeah pixie oh yeah because we couldn't get it out my sister had the pixie she had the princess diana she was like six i had like a uma thurman, like super short, like bob. Like the cheekbone. Yeah, and I was like 10. I'm going to see a picture of this. Oh my gosh, I'll show you.

I have it. It's traumatizing. It's why I love being like ultra glam because I'm just like, I was so traumatized by short hair. But that's interesting. I guess bleach would probably kill it too. Like you bleached your hair. Probably, yeah.

I think just that like intense ammonia maybe. I don't know. Lice tips with Kristen. Yeah, lice tips. There you go, guys. But it's common. People get it. it I know people we did a lice check at school and they found it it was very embarrassing I had to go home aww at school and put you on blast

yeah do you not have that where they you have to line up and you all get checked I do remember that but I guess that's not how I found out that's good that's a better way that's traumatizing they're like Trisha has lice literally oh yeah they're like you have to go to the office and then everyone knew because then I came back the next day with a cut so yeah lice is it was sad i don't know where i got it i was like it's so weird i mean that's one of those things people are like ew

you're gross you have lice it's like it also could just be transmitted by movie theater seeds or something that isn't gross i know i don't know where i got it but yeah it is it's normalized lice i think all right it's easy to get making moves today we want bushes yes normalized life i don't think so i got made fun of for my bush when i was in the sixth grade too like swimming and people saw like pubic hair through my swimsuit they made fun of me and i was like that's so sixth grade of them it's so sixth grade i was like who's shaving in the sixth grade i guess people are but were you i wasn't i wasn't my mom didn't let me shave till i was in high school she's like it'll grow back thicker if you shave. I remember hearing that, yeah.

I was like, no, just shave it again. I don't think I shaved until maybe like end of eighth grade. Because then I got a boyfriend. And I was like, wow, you really were a relationship girly. Yeah, it wasn't a good thing, I feel like. It's too young. It's too young, but I wanted that so bad. I don't know.

Of course, you always want what you can't have type thing, yeah. I think, I don't know. It is interesting. I love that you open up about your love life being young. Because I'm just so curious about I don't know. Of course. You always want what you can't have type thing. Yeah. I think – I don't know. It is interesting. I love that you open up about your love life being young because I'm just so curious about it, just all of it. Like the stories you share about it is interesting and just being in it. I guess it's just a different world. I don't know. People are, I guess, influencers, date influencers and I don't know.

I don't think I'd want to. Not anymore. Not anymore. No. Never say never, I guess, but like – Who would you date? What influencer? Like, just hypothetically, like not realistically, but who's like, well, that looks like a good guy.

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Service fees, exclusions, and terms apply. Instacart. Groceries that over-deliver. Oh, my God. He went back to school he's i don't know i think he's trolling at this point he's like applied to cvs yeah oh yeah oh he's trolling he went in and like applied and then i think he's leaning into it yeah he's probably like bad press is still good press i hope he's i hope it's just for money and he's like not actually spiraling because i've been in that in the spiraling but i think he's i think he's control of it I think he is making a lot on snapchat I hope Catherine flourishes oh she will for sure she seems cool as long as it's real some people are speculating that it's like the fake yeah which

would be bad for her because people love her so much so she wasn't on it but hopefully it's real she seems fine she seems like just living her life yeah yeah hopefully it's why do we bring this up oh dating Austin McBroom. Oh, yeah. No. I don't think him. God, who would I date in this space? I don't know. Just for funsies. I'm like trying to think if I was single.

I'm like, who would I date if I was single? Oh, there's this guy. His name – all right. We're throwing it out there. I think he has a girlfriend though. Okay. So like I need to be respectful. We don't know if he does. We are not homewrecking.

Yes. His name's Henry, but his TikTok handle is like Henry, Henry, Henry, Henry. Like it's Henry like five or six times. Interesting choice. He's so funny. What's he do? He's just like, he does like a wine with Henry, something with Henry. I don't know.

He like tastes different wines and he's just funny. He's like perfectly dry humor and like i don't know he's just he's perfect he's so cute i'll show you him oh my gosh but he's a girlfriend wait are you sure you don't know i think so i i saw i followed him on instagram and then i clicked on his story that day and he tagged a girl and it was like a cute picture of her okay like you know well it's always like hypothetical i feel like you know too like especially i feel like dating the person you did like scott you know it's just like so many people loved him so it's probably like okay it's like a hypothetical thing did you ever feel threatened no that's good i love that i always wonder when people date like hot influences i'm like do they

ever feel like weird that so many people think they're like hot well the people that were following us at the time were so young yeah like of course they were like oh he's cute the same way like i always thought like justin bieber was cute when i was little like it's just more of like a oh cute boy i never felt like who the fuck yeah trying to slide on like not that i know of i mean i didn't check his dms like i i don't know yeah i was on that with a henry henry henry i'm like if he has a girlfriend i wonder she's like like is he traditionally hot or do you just think he's hot like he's quirky hot he's quirky hot but i think that's in right now like i feel like a lot of people like that yeah he's he's he's just now blowing up on tiktok like he's still like i gotta find him yeah he's so niche i love finding people

i don't really know if i get into straight guys too much but i could maybe yeah what's your for you page look like not that i don't know how this will oscar always tells me about straight guys he watches i'm like i don't know any of these people i I'm very, yeah, I'm very anti-straight. But I don't know. I don't even know what my forte is. It's honestly, I think because it caters to what you're into at the moment. So I think I'm, because I'm pregnant on my second child. It's like moms, like, you know, transitioning from one to two kids.

It's like, you know, stuff. Or just like moms, like, complaining. And I have to get off the TikTok. Just like how hard life is now that they have two kids. Like, it's awful. Don't do it. I'm like, you're like too late. It's a weird side of TikTok.

So I'm just on weird. Mine are just like normal people that just tell their life stories and they expose everything about their husbands, about everything. I'm like, wow. About their husbands? Damn. People put it all out there. I think, yeah, to kind of wrap this up, I feel like what we were talking about is like,

you know, there's that healthy balance. Don't put it all out there. You know, I think like there's, I don't know if you follow on TikTok. There's a bartender who put out, do you know who I were talking about is like you know there's that healthy balance don't put it all out there you know i think like there's i don't know if you follow on tiktok there's a bartender who put out do you know who i'm talking about and like that weird guy came home with her husband that night yes i know you're talking about and she like put it out there and then on the internet it's like he's awful like divorce him he put you and your kid at danger she's like what are you guys doing this is my husband why are you talking about him i'm like don't put it out there you literally put every detail of that night out and expect no judgment literally she's

like he's drunk. This guy's in her house. There's a baby sleeping upstairs. And I'm like, people just share. As someone who shared a lot on the internet, I'm like, maybe don't share too much. That's why, like I said, I try to pull away the generalized message of whatever I go through and share that rather than like, this exact thing happened. Then people just, they read into it and they don't know the whole detail.

They don't know the whole context. And then it stretches you out. It's just not worth it. And then all the speculation. What is one thing you would tell people who are either influencers or trying to be influencers and they're struggling? You had anxiety, like struggling with anxiety. In the influencer space? Yeah.

It's that comparison bug. I mean it's easier said than done, but just try and drop it. And if you're a creative in the space, remember why you're doing it and don't chase the numbers that's going to drive you straight to the ground. I think the creator space is, it's not a race. I think it's something like sustainable longevity is just so much more valuable than just going viral once or twice and trying to live off that. Yeah. I think just don't sell out in that way. I don't mean just saying don't sell out like taking brand deals. I take brand deals. That's how I make my money.

And this is marketing at the end of the day. And there's nothing wrong with that. And I really enjoy that side of the space. But as far as protecting your peace as an individual, make that your priority. And, you know, network and do your things. But really keep your feelers on for who you're involving yourself with and what their motives are. That's great advice. I think that's the best.

And lots of meditation. I'm trying to meditate. I that's the best. And lots of meditation. Try and meditate. I always tell people that. Lots of meditation. Three hours is crazy. I'm going to try that, but I don't know. Try it if you have the time. I had lots of time at the time. But thank you so much, you guys. Check out Kristen on Oddvice. I love Oddvice. Going on

four years. Congratulations. Season four. We just started. I am so excited. And follow TikTok. Maybe we should do more TikToks cooking, eating, all of it. And thanks for coming by. I know you're here like a limited time. So I was like so excited to make this happen. Thank you for having me. This is so fun. I was so excited when I saw your story. Someone said, Jess Trish. I was like, this is it. This is the time slid into the DMs. I can't believe you saw it. I was so excited. When I put it up, I was like, oh, this is just like ironic. Oh, I was so excited because I'm like, it's just like a blast from the past.

I love nostalgia of any kind. And I'm just like, I don't know, just like reminiscing on and off camera is fun. Well, thank you for having me. And I'm so proud of you and seeing the way you've grown into who you are now. And I'm just so happy for you. Thank you. I appreciate that so much. You guys check out Kristen everywhere.

And we'll see you in the next episode. Bye.