Keep it Positive, Sweetie - Growth, Grief and the Courage to Heal w/ Dr King Jay Barnett

Episode Date: November 30, 2025

Today, Crystal Renee welcomes Dr. Jay Barnett, licensed therapist and advocate, to discuss his transformation from a professional athlete to a leading voice in mental health. Barnett shares his powerful personal story of overcoming depression, surviving suicide attempts, and finding purpose through faith and therapy. This candid conversation covers the stigmatization of therapy among Black men, the impact of parental divorce, and the paths to healing and emotional intelligence. Barnett also touches on the role of spirituality in his life, the importance of being vulnerable, and the challenges of navigating relationships while pursuing a higher calling. With deep honesty, both Hayslett and Barnett reflect on their personal journeys, the significance of seeking help, and the power of prayer and stillness. @luvcrystalrenee @KingJayBarnettSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Short on time, but big on true crime. On a recent episode of the podcast, Hunting for Answers, I highlighted the story of 19-year-old Lechay Dungey. But she never knocked on that door. She never made it inside. And that text message would be the last time anyone would ever hear from her. Listen to Hunting for Answers from the Black Effect Podcast Network on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast.

Welcome to Decoding Women's Health. I'm Dr. Elizabeth Pointer, chair of Women's Health and Gynecology at the Atria Health Institute in New York City. I'll be talking to top researchers and clinicians and bringing vital information about midlife women's health directly to you. A hundred percent of women go through menopause. Even if it's natural, why should we suffer through it? Listen to Decoding Women's Health with Dr. Elizabeth Pointer on the IHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. From NBA champion Stefan Curry comes Shot Ready, a powerful never-before-seen look at the mindset that changed the game.

I fell in love with the grind. You have to find joy in the work you do when no one else is around. Success is not an accident. I'm passing the ball to you. Let's go. Steph Curry redefined basketball. Now he's rewriting what it means to succeed. Order your copy of the New York Times bestseller Shot Ready.

Today at Stefan Currybook.com. I'm Marcus Grant. And I'm Michael Florio, and together we host the NFL fantasy football podcast. Ready to dominate your fantasy league this season? Then you need the NFL fantasy football podcast, your ultimate source for player news, draft tips, and winning strategies. Whether you're a rookie manager or a fantasy vet, we've got the insight to help you crush your opponents. Listen to the NFL Fantasy Football podcast on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcast, or wherever you get your podcasts.

Jingle bells, jingle bells, jingle all the way. Yo, yo, yo, can we get a Thanksgiving first? I'm hungry. What's up, y'all? It's Kadeen. And DeVal, the host of the Ellis Ever After podcast. This holiday season, tune out the noise and tune in to Ellis Ever After. On Ellis Ever After, we get real with our crew about family, love and marriage,

and everything else in between. Listen to Ellis Ever After on America's number one podcast network, eye heart. Follow Elizabeth Rafter and start listening on the free IHeart Radio app today. Calling all my sweeties to the forefront, I'm your host, Chris Renee Hazett, and this is the Keep It Posit Sweeties Show. Licensed therapist and just-heel host, Dr. J. Barnett, has built a national platform around healing and accountability. His story from athlete to advocate shows that faith and emotional intelligence can thrive together. Today, he joins us to talk about growth, grief, and the courage to heal. Kids family, please give a very warm welcome to King J. Barnett.

Finally. Yes. Finally, we got you here. Listen, we've been talking about this for about, what, a year? A year now, yeah. So I know you was filming, and both of our lives are busy, but I feel like it's purposeful busy. It is. That's why I have to tell people, they're like, you got so much going on, but it's all purposeful, baby.

Yes, it is, it's purpose, man. You've been, I looked at your stories this week alone. I'm like, is he going to make it to Atlanta? Yeah. Oh, yeah. I was coming, Chris. I was coming. I was coming.

I was coming. So, yeah, I started out. I haven't been home in like three weeks. Wow. So I was in Detroit for, no, I was in New York because it started, I did the breakfast club for World Mental Health Day and brought Joe with me. And then Taraji had her mental health weekend. So I keynoted for her.

and then after that I was in Detroit and then Canada seven days and then Costa Rica and now here and then I'm in Toronto so after this

but I'm gonna take a break after this though because I gotta get this book done and I got to settle down so awesome awesome I love that well Jay you took the world by storm

on the internet and I first saw you on social media really giving men a safe space to even have a voice to be vulnerable and to start healing and I feel like for black men therapy has been so stigmatized and you've taken that stigma off and allowed black men to just be themselves and speak their truth and really like head face on with

their trauma but that did not come without healing of your own yes so I want to talk about that you've been very open about when football was over you hit rock bottom yeah but how did you know it was time to start healing and like what what moment happened to you like wait a minute this is a problem money to yeah yeah well really i didn't know it was time crystal uh my second suicide attempt is what really uh sort of kind of you know push me to go in therapy so i was living with my godmother at the time and i was living with her because um i was training pro athletes very successful business and i had a house and she was like you need to get out of the house and come stay with me and cut down your overhead so my godmother man she's big in the and finances so

So I was just like, man, I can't do this, man. I'm like 31 years old. I'm like, I can't, you know, take away from what I was building at the time. So I said, let me pray about it because my godmother was never able to have kids. So she, you know, took me under her wings and she says, Jay, I really think you should focus on the speaking thing, what you're doing with the teens and the youth. I'm like, man.

And so I make the move and I get there by this time, I'm about a year in living with her. And I have a mental breakdown just because I felt like a failure, number one, because I'm like, man, I'm trying to figure out life and I'm staying with my godmother. And she has a nice size house. So it wasn't like I was in her space or she was in my space. And it was good because it allowed me to really look at life differently. and so one night I was on a call with my parents and just kind of sharing how I was still battling this depression thing.

And when I share this, because it could take a spin because at that time, I don't think my father really understood the significant and severity of what I was going through. So he makes a statement on the phone, here we go again. Oh, wow.

And that was a trigger. and after he said that I told my mom I said you know what man I'm tired of this man like you know because I was really trying to find a way to talk about what I was going through mentally but nobody was listening so I told her I said well this is probably the last time that y'all going to talk to me and she says to me jay please don't do nothing son please and I said mama I'm tired and I had been carrying this pain from their divorce from the rejection of my mother had remarried her husband the guy that she remarried was physically abusive I lived with a white family for the last two years of my high school year man I just gone through a lot yeah from the time that my parents divorced

up until you know 30 because I had never processed anything because the thing about football man you can put that helmet on, and it's a mask. Yeah, it sure is. You can hide anything. And I think after years of a nesticize and all of that stuff just festering, I didn't have a, I didn't have, you know, an outlet anymore. Football was my outlet. I wasn't playing because I wanted to make money.

I was playing because I needed a place to process this pain. And being able to run over guys and hit allowed me to get that aggression out. And so my mother says to me, Jay, if you take your life, do you know that you possibly go to hell? And I remember this so vividly, me and her talk about this other day. And I said to her, I don't give a damn. I don't care as long as I can get rid of this pain. So I had a back injury that I had been battling and I had a bunch of pills from that. And I just went in the bathroom and took everything.

like everything and God knew because had I been by myself I would have shot myself the only reason that I didn't attempt with a gun because I was living with my godmother and I did not want her to have that visual and to have that scene so even then I'm still considerate yeah you know what I mean even while I'm in pain so I overdose and my godmother found me under the bed. And I don't, till this day, I don't know how, and I know it's God because I can remember standing in a dark place when I was out or whatever, you know, what was going on. And I just heard the voice of God just saying, you have got to give this to me.

Wow. Like, literally. And so after that, my godmother, you know, we let a day go by. We don't talk about what had happened. and finally she said can we talk yeah and she said why would you do this in my home and i just sat there and she says jay if you want to stay here you got to get some help yep here's the part that people uh have not heard my godmother's white really wow And she sat there and she said, you got to get some help.

And that pushed me to go to therapy because, and it wasn't that I wasn't, I was making money and I was, you know, it wasn't like I couldn't work or anything like that. But mentally I wasn't in the best place. And I said to her, I just don't want to be here. And a friend of mine sent me a therapist, which was a Christian guy. And I went to him for a while. I didn't really connect with him because my dad is a pastor. So I say, bro, I don't really need no scriptures, man. I got to figure out a way how to release this.

And most people don't know this that when you think about depression is really a lack of expression. That's what depression is. Yeah. And so no one had really checked on me when my parents divorced. my parents were pastors and when they divorced me being the oldest all the pressure was on me because everybody said hey you got to look out for your mom you got to look out for your sisters yeah so I'm in therapy my first session and that man asked me how do you feel do you know I'm 31 years old and nobody had never I cannot remember people had asked me how I'm doing yeah but no one

had never asked me how I'm feeling how you feeling yeah and that's what uh led me into therapy and started that journey. And it's been, that was, I was 31, I'm 43 today. So, uh, it's been, uh, a journey of healing. Uh, it's been, it's been a beautiful journey. Yeah. You know, at times it's still, you know, some moments, but, uh, I wouldn't take it back for anything.

Yeah. Two things, a few things that stood out, um, when you were speaking was, one, I was successful everything was great, but I was depressed. A lot of, there's a, a misconception that when you're successful, depression can't creep in, you know? Yeah. And then the fact that your godmother was white because a lot of times in African-American homes therapy is not a, it's not an option, you know?

So to even, I wonder if you would have even got to that point without having a white godmother to say, hey, you need to go to therapy because you wouldn't have gotten that for your mother. Man. Therapy. No, because I remember when I said to my mom that I was going to therapy. yeah mama married as y'all know her mom i love you but mama said to me you going to tell that white man all our business that's it that's it yeah i said i don't give a damn what color he is i'm trying to get some help do you hear me yes and crystal can i tell you it was

have you said antoine fisher yes oh yeah that was so i wrote my capstone i did my capstone on Anton Fisher and the sexual abuse that he, you know, endure. It was just like that when he was working with Denzel, remember it was like three sessions before he opened up. Yes. It was about three sessions before I opened up because one, I'm like, dang, I don't want to open up to this white man. But that man said to me one day, he said, tell me about your dad. And then he asked me about football.

I'm talking about, you'd have thought of tsunami hit. And it broke something. And for the two sessions that I didn't talk, he would literally say, it's okay. When you come back next week? I was like, yeah, I'll come back, bro. I was so reluctant. Wow. But when that man asked me and he said, I said, bro, I don't want to talk about it.

He said, would you write it down? And I wrote it down. And I never forget this. He said three words that describe. what you're feeling now. I said loss. I said inadequate.

And I said like a failure. I'd never forget those three words. Never get though. Never forget. Loss, inadequate, and a failure. And man, something just started to break. And he would always say,

are you going to come back next week? Yeah. I'd be like, yeah, man. I'll come back. And I just kept going back. and I you know and it was crazy because nobody in my family and nobody around me I remember like my home boy's like maybe you're doing therapy are you crazy bro right and and I remember one of my home boys literally just kind of like like you know poking like

nigga you can think that therapy is working and I'm like I don't know yeah but I was curious because I really wanted to let go of the pain because for so long the pain had been a driver in my life and men don't realize is that if pain becomes a driver in your life, you're going to become one or two things. Homicidal or suicidal. Wow, that is powerful. I remember, I guess around 2020 during COVID was the first time we all had to sit down with ourselves. So for me, that was when I was like, okay, I need to talk to someone. So I got a therapist and I'm like, this is not working. This is not working, but I was like your mama, I'm not about tell you all my business. So I wasn't being honest with the lady. And that's why I wasn't working, right?

So I ended up getting another therapist. And finally I was like, okay, if I want this to work, I got to just tell her everything. So I started opening up and I was like, wait, this is like unlocking a lot of things that I didn't even remember. know what was the first honest thing that you said in a therapy session that really unlocked something uh oh man um my parents divorce really hurt me um i walked in a room and my mom's in my parents bedroom i would never forget this i was 10 years old and my mom was sitting on the bed crying and i said to my mom mom, I knew what was going on. I was a very precocious kid. I knew. And I said, why won't you leave?

10 years old. And my mom looks at me and says, God hasn't released me to leave. And I couldn't understand that. And I think when I got to therapy to know how her and my dad was divorced and because for me, we would go to church on Sunday as a family. And Monday through Saturday, complete chaos. Wow. So none of that made sense to me. And I think when I really sat down and what really broke in me to really get me to start open up, how much that impacted me as a son.

Yeah. Not only to watch what happened with just my father and my mother, but also as a son who had to fill in this gap. because I became this standing husband from my mother and then this surrogate father to my sisters which is also where I learned how to intercede because my mom had me praying for her because she was like she was like can you

I remember nights her crying and said can you pray for me so I had all of these burdens on me you know at such a young age because I was spiritually gifted you know early on and my parents realized that I had this prophetic gift and, you know, I was already ministering. I gave my first sermon at the age of nine. What? In front of 200 people.

Wow. So from 9 to 11, most people don't know this, 9 to 11, I preach all over Mississippi as a young phenom preacher kid. Wow. And it was how we ate because I was getting paid. Jay. And when my parents were divorced, I said I would never preach another sermon. Of course.

Look at you now. Listen, Crystal, I'm in Canada. I'm in Canada, right, giving this keynote on the empowering and restoring families of the Nova Scotian community in Canada and Halifax. Powerful keynote. This is how you know you can't run. Come on now. Talk about it. This lady walked up to me after the keynote.

beautiful lady with some beautiful white hair, man, black woman. And she said, baby, they heard a doctor. I heard a pastor. Come on now. Listen, listen. I looked at that later. I said, ma'am, can you please? I don't want to hear no more prophetic word.

I don't hear nothing. Please don't tell me. Nothing about no pastor, no church. Right. But I, and I know, Lord, you know I love you. And I know you probably calling me to that when I'm 50, but not in this season. But that thing. broke something because

I couldn't understand at that time why would God break up my family? Because I love seeing my parents. That was nothing more that I love about having a family. And even to this day, it bothers me that I don't have a family. Yeah. Wow. Oh, you follow. Why do

you feel like you don't? You feel like it's God's timing? Or do you feel like that's just maybe you haven't focused on that? What do you feel that is? So, I'm going to bring you into this. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because Because people will look at us, right? They would look at us as if we've arrived.

They will look at us as if we've achieved. But the more that you expand, because I believe this for you, as much width you have is as much depth that you have. Yes. As much reach as you have, that's also a level of depth that you have. So dating and trying to build something with the depth that we have is challenging.

Yeah. Because you also have the insight, hindsight, and foresight. Come on now. Hindsight, I know what I've gone through and I've learned from it. The insight is that I have this revelation not only of myself, but also what God is giving me. And the foresight is that I also see where he's taking me. So I can't yoke up with anybody. Come on, yoke up. With just anybody you can't. I can't. And I know you like me. I know you like the idea of me. I know you like, you know what I'm saying, how I smell, how I look. You know what I'm

saying? You know, you come across, you know, the stream with this beauty. You know what I'm saying? The teeth popping. The lips are popping. And you got the makeup and the browns. And I got this. And I got this beautiful dark skin and you listen at the way that I articulate and the way that I can conceptualize something. Yeah. But if you have not done work. Come on now. On the level.

And not just to stand next to us, but to walk with us. It requires so much. Yeah. So as much as I have to mourn not having a family, I also understand that. Because if it ain't equal, I can't yoke up with it. Right. Yeah. So to answer your question, so it gives me peace, you know, and I've shared this,

and I actually talked about this on the Den of Kings briefly, you know, about five years ago, my girlfriend at the time and I had a miscarriage, and that thing broke to both of us. And it was something I didn't talk about. And it was so crazy because our parents are pastors. And I called her mom and said, can I take you to dinner? Like, I want to talk you about something. And, you know, I don't know why I thought I could hide it from my mom. Because her mom is like a seer.

Her mom said, Jay, I knew it. I knew. I knew. And I just started to break down because I heard it for her. And then as a man, you know, that I felt like this was my time to, you know what I'm saying? And because, you know, we don't talk about miscarriage when it comes to men. Right. And how it affects you all.

Yeah. Because I feel like this. I feel like it, I think it does a number on the woman physically what our body goes through and emotionally. And then I think, but it messes with the man mentally because I remember the scene of walking in the bathroom. And I can't, it's hard even today, I can step right into that moment in the picture. And it's just like, I can see her face. I can see her complexion, you know, her whole accountant is changing. And it's like, Jay, what just happened?

And so I've had to really, I've gone back to therapy for that. And it really grieved that. I was in therapy all last year grieving that. And I'm at a good place. That's good. But, you know, it's not easy to be who we are. And to feel like, dang, ain't nobody on my level. Right, yeah.

Welcome, fellow seekers of the dark. I'm Danny Trejo. Won't you join me in Nocturno, Tales from the Shadow? An anthology of modern-day horror stories inspired by the legends and lore of Latin America. Take a trip from ghastly encounters with evil spirits to bone-chilling brushes with supernaturally. creatures and experience the horrors to have haunted Latin America since the beginning of time. You should probably keep your lights on for Nocturnal Tales from the Shadows.

Listen to Nocturnal Tales from the Shadows as part of my Cultura podcast network, available on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you. You get your podcast. Jingle bells, jingle jingle all the way. Yo, yo, can we get Thanksgiving first? I'm hungry. Hey, y'all, it's Kadeen.

And DeVal. The hosts of Ellis Ever After podcast. This holiday season, whether you're cooking for the family, out buying gifts for the kids, or crowded in holiday traffic, tune out the noise and tune in to Ellis Ever After.

On Ellis Ever After, we get rid with our crew about family. Have you feeling like you're feeling? That's probably because you're a good parent. Friendship. Be careful what you put in your body. Move your body and love it the way you love them cars that house and clothes, them clothes, them shoes. Love yourself.

The brunches. Love in marriage. You know what's become attractive to me? And it's because I've self-corrected and I guess I detoxified myself. Accountability. Like, it has become so attractive to me and everything else in between. I've told my most embarrassing. moment on this podcast before, which was me

taking a shit in a zip lock bag. So listen to Ellis Ever After on the Iheart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast. It's okay not to be okay sometimes and be able to build strength and love within each other. Thanksgiving isn't

just about food. It's a day for us to show up for one another. I'm Elliot Connie, host of the podcast Family Therapy, a series where real families come together to heal and Find hope. What would be a clue that would be like? I've gotten lots of text messages from him. This one's from a little bit better of a version of him. Because he's feeding himself well. It's always a concern. Like, are you eating well?

He's actually an amazing cook. There was this one time where we had neighbors and I saved their dog and I ended up inviting them over for food. And that was like one of my proudest moments. This is family therapy. Real families, real stories on a journey to heal together. Listen to Season 2 of Family Therapy every Wednesday on the Black Effect Podcast Network, iHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. I'm Hunter, host of Hunting for Answers on the Black Effect Podcast Network. Join me every weekday as I share bite-sized stories of missing and murdered black women and girls in America. There are several ways we can all do better at protecting black women.

My contribution is shining a light on our missing sisters and amplifying their distrifice. disregarded stories. Stories like Tamika Anderson. As she drove toward Galvez, she was in contact with several people, talking on the phone as she made her way to what should have been a routine transaction. But Tamika never bought the car, and she never returned home that day. One podcast, one mission, save our girls. Join the searches we explore the chilling cases of missing and murder.

murdered black women and girls listen to hunting for answers every weekday on the black effect podcast network iHeart radio app apple podcasts or wherever you get your podcast if one of us wins will we all win i'm ashley rightfeld and i'm the host of the women's skateboarding podcast good luck with that good luck with that is a skateboarding podcast that is part cultural record part news brief mostly group therapy and a place to talk about the past present and future of women and gender expansive skateboarding. This week, me and my co-host, Nora Vascenzelos and Alex White, we have Fabiana delfino on the show,

a professional skateboarder from Florida, whose grit was forged in a family of athletes. Tune in to hear how she broke into the boys' club, what it takes to be pro, and why just being grateful, you're here shouldn't be the price of entry. Maybe the industry thinks that we just started skating five years ago, because that's when they maybe started paying attention. It's a no-fluff conversation about putting in the years,

stacking clips and receipts, still having to prove your worth while the industry catches up. You break down the door, sick, now, like, hold the door for everyone. We created good luck with that because we want to share our experience of existing in an industry that wasn't always built for everyone. So listen to good luck with that on iHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast. Jay, I need to get my business, okay? Listen, it's crazy.

Like, you, no, you are on my street right now because it's hard. it's really hard and and I don't want to be like on my level you know what I'm saying but it's like it's not just financially like spiritually how you're talking about I can't be yoked up with just anybody that is real and I was we had an episode with me Ashana and West and I was saying I'm tired of leading men like I'm tired of leading financially I'm tired of leading spiritually I'm tired of leading the household like I want someone that I can trust to lead in the household and always who can lead me to God I'm not the one who can lead me to God I'm not the one begging you to come to church on Sundays or begging you to I'm the only one up reading the

Bible and in the word like I need I need to look over or not over because I don't even we don't you ain't sleeping in the house no more but I need to know that you at your house waking up reading your word the same way I am like all right we in this thing together so that we're both pulling from the same source not you pulling off of my my resources to the source you know what I'm saying? Listen, let me get one of them cards. Listen, we do something on the Jazz Hero podcast where I have to tear the card up when there's a moment. You are Crystal, my God, today. So I'm glad I'm here because I could be transparent.

I was dating this girl years ago. And to your point, I, like, if I'm dating you and I have to feel like I have to hold back who I am, spiritually, I know it's not going to work. Yes. So I go to, like, when I go to my bedroom, it don't take me no time to fall asleep. Because there's such a peace in my house that you're walking there and you just fall. That's how my house is. I'm like, it feels like pure Zen in here.

I'm like, yeah, that's how I want you to feel. My producer, CJ, was at my house a couple weeks ago. He called me. He was like, dang, nigga, I can't stay awake. I said, that's exactly what I want. It curates peace. So I'm dating this girl. and she stays over, she can't sleep.

What's wrestling in your spirit, honey? So I'm like, I wake up, I said, again, I'm being transparent. Because we have been dating for a while and so, you know, she was staying over and she's always talk about how she had the hard time sleeping. And I was just like, listen, I woke up. I said, yo, man, you have got, because she was turning, tossing, turning all night long. And I was just like, this don't. So I get up and I'm used to waking up seeing my mother walk the flow and pray.

So I get up and open my door and I go open my patio door. I start walking through the house praying. And she was just like she wasn't in shock, but she was just like, I've never seen a man pray. I said, I don't know what you're wrestling with. And I didn't feel like it was a bad spirit on her something. I felt like her anxiety. Like she's just like she owned her own business and so

she was just going. Mine just going. That's a real thing. And I just started praying and I said, hey listen and I told I said, listen, I'm, I have to do this. And I said if you don't mind, if you could just you know, walk with me or so she sat on the couch

I'm going through the house. I don't went up in the spirit. I said, I have to do this because I got a rest because I got a long day tomorrow and I want you to rest. Yeah. And that showed me something because as a man, and I want the brothers to hear that as, brother, if you can't get to God, if you can't get a prayer through, if you can't be vulnerable enough to break that stratosphere, that hemispheres spiritually, you're doing your wife, girl, woman who has a disservice. Especially if you're walking with a woman who's

really called to purpose, like what you're called to, or a woman who's called to the purpose of business, healing, finance, or whatever it is. Like, I really want to see men get to a place where we start to carry all. Yeah. Yeah. I, my, my mother talk about this, and I'm not told, I said, Mom, you know, watching you, you've carried every marriage. you think that not to interrupt you but do you feel like because black men have seen their moms do it they just feel like this is what you're supposed to do as a woman i think brothers don't even know what it's like to carry a woman because they've never seen a man really stand yeah in um in the position as a leader i feel like men should be a prophet you should be able to speak over your spouse your woman

And this is why I'm waiting on God, because I don't spoke over too many folks. Listen, Chris, I'd have prophesied on business. I don't spoke life. I'd have got you in the gym. You don't went out to business long. I ain't doing that no more. Listen, you're looking like, I didn't, look at all this stuff. Look at the fruits of my prayers.

Man, listen, out of prophesied, I'm a priest. I feel like you have to be a promoter you got to be a push and you got to be a provider and a protector I'm going to say that again, brothers and then for the ladies because I know y'all y'all love my friend

he has to be a prophet he should be able to speak into your life he has to be a priest he should be able to cover he has to be a protector he should be able to provide a sense of security for you he has to be a

provider, and I'm not just talking about financially, do you provide insight and then a promoter, can you push me, can you encourage me, the amount of, I have a lot of female friends that are so amazing, the amount of them that are in relationship with men that are jealous of them. And the church is saying amen. The congregation is running. They're running laps around the building. That's real. I don't get it. I don't get it.

And it breaks my heart because I'm like, because I've gone through that, you know, but I don't get it because of the way I poured into my sisters and the way I pour it to my entire team is black women. Wow. From my publicist to my admin and I speak life in it. You know what I mean? And I said, listen, whoever you date, he don't have to be me,

but I hope he embodied what you guys have seen through me. Yes. You know what I mean? To speak life into you. They called me, my ad man, Christy, she called me a day. She got a speaking gear for like 10K. She's like, bro, you ain't going to bleed this. And I said, what did I tell you?

You just had to believe that you were her. Yes. I said, you had, I knew you were her. and just to see her and the rest of my people that believe in me and to be reinforced because I can't stand to see this attack on black women that are really doing something. And you guys get made to feel because my sisters, I push the hell out of them.

They get tired and they marry with men, great men. And their husband embrace it. Yes. Like, hey, they'll call me, hey, bro-law, she's slacking. you know what I'm saying so I don't get that so I really wanted to give that to the sisters like do not give your pearls to swine and to the brothers come on yes it goes both ways because there's some brothers that are doing things and sometimes because I again I can be honest I've laid in the in the lap of a Delilah who took who I was took what I shared yeah yeah and exploited it you know what I'm saying so I'm talking to me As well, like, I, yeah, I know I'm a good thing or a good brother. So, yeah, man, we, we, we, we have too much, we have too, too, too much of a, of greatness in us, man, to just. Yeah.

And I told God the other day. What did you tell him, Jay? I said, Lord, I've been on the road for three weeks. And I, and I said that, I called my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, thank God, town. Do you still have the same therapist? No, I have a different therapist now.

Different therapists because I feel like there's, as seasons change. That's good. You shouldn't, you know, you shouldn't always have the same therapist because your season would change and I feel like certain people are called to walk with you in different seasons.

Dr. Towns is like a 60-some of the old black woman. I go to see her in San Diego. Oh, wow. I get by the water. She's a psychologist and she's spirit-led, intelligent, and all the things. And I call and I said, Doc, I'm lonely. I know I'm not alone, but I'm lonely.

There's a difference, yes. And she said, what about it? I said, Doc, I'm on this road, man, pouring and pouring. Yeah. And it's like, yeah, I can call people, but the challenge with us, I don't know, you may, like, you'll be talking to somebody. They're good people, but ain't nothing there, man. Oh, my God.

Story of my life. How do you, I got to ask you, how do you process that? When the time to kind of... Let it go. Listen, I'm really good at seeing... As I've gotten old, I'm really good at seeing it before it gets too far. And honestly, I just had a situation, and I was on a trip. I was on the water in Italy, and God literally said to me, I was wrestling with it.

Like, am I supposed to end this? Like, because it's not there. The alignment isn't there. And God said, how many times have you prayed, God, give me a son. and you felt the feelings that you're feeling now and you ignored it. And he was like, or you ignored it and you went on and then something happened. I showed you what I was trying to tell you from the beginning. And you were like, I knew, I felt that in my gut.

He said, I need you to listen to it now. Don't make the same mistake of not hearing my voice and going through it all over again and getting hurt. And then looking back like, Lord, you told me that September the 14th, 2025 and I didn't listen. Wow. So I had to like really just start being obedient to that intuition that he gave me. to say, all right, and I just was honest. I'm brutally honest at this age. I'm like, man, me too.

It's just not there. Yeah, man, listen. Listen, listen. Listen, I got to make a couple phone calls. Listen, but being honest, it actually frees you and them. Because it's like, and they're not bad people, but it's just like, man. No, not at all. Like, I had to be honest.

And Bishop Jakes. Shout out, Bishop. Bishop, I was sitting with him and Bishop called me out and Bishop said you have got to stop acting like you are regular. He said, that's your biggest challenge, Jay. And he said, you have, because like when I tell you what God is doing in my life, I didn't want it. I didn't ask for it. I heard God tell me after the pandemic. He told me, men, I'm calling you to men.

Then he said, I'm getting ready to expose you to the world. I'm getting ready to reveal you, reveal you to the world. And long after that, not long after that, Taraji people called me, and I went on the breakfast club with her virtually, and then, I mean, it just took all. So I wasn't asking for it. I was wanting to stay hidden because part of me remaining hitting was also I felt like I was secure there. Safety there, yeah. It's safety.

Yes. Because when God gives you a platform, I heard my brother, I'm going to give him credit because I heard it from him, Stevie Bragg's, Stevie Baggs said, the bigger the audience, the bigger the audit. So as you are seeing more, you got more eyes on you, the window of error. And then everybody got all these opinions. And I feel like we live in a world where opinions cannibalize the truth. Yeah.

So you got all of this. stress and pressure because you and I we just can't go on a date. No. Right. Even like it can be something as simple as like I was just filming a movie in Houston and I was like I want to my cast man I was like let's go grab and it's like you can't because then the eyes are like oh they go together

and it's like you got so. It's like you can't like literally I have to think about every single move. You are so blessing me right now because I talk to CJ about this. I'm like when people like hey Jay can you I say I can't because if I talk to somebody if it goes past couple of weeks, it's like, oh, we locked in.

We go together real bad. And me, I'm talking because I'm feeling. Mm-hmm, mm-hmm. You know what I'm saying? Yes. And, you know, it ain't no physical stuff. It's like I'm feeling and I'm sensing. Right.

Because I'm not a person who I don't use my doctorate. I don't use my therapy. I don't come in there trying to clinicalize or therapeutize anybody. Because I would think you'd be like that. I'm like, he'd probably be terrified at his girl. Oh, no, never, never. Thank God my ex. We have such a great friendship.

And she always remind me. She says, Jay. And I love her, man. She's such a great friend of mine. And she says, Jay, what I love about you is you never brought work in our relationship. Never. I never use a clinical turn. Wow.

Like if we had a conflict, I never said, you gas-like, like all these people use all these terms. Like, we don't, a real clinician. Like, we don't, like, I'm not trying to die. knows nobody or analyze nobody. Matter of fact, Negro, I'm not even thinking about you right now. And I appreciate her sharing that because I'm Jade. Yeah. I'm not Dr. Jay.

Right. Wow. You know what I'm saying? You're not, you know, what's to carry? Fatima, yeah. You're not like, I'm a real person. And so if something hurt me or there was something that was said, I was like, yo, you know what that wasn't cool. I didn't say, I feel like, you know,

you're da-da-da-da-da-da, and it's a with my mental health, I never, like, I can't, I don't even, listen, I, listen, Chris was pulling it out of me today. I would just be honest. I don't, like, there's a lot of people that are therapists and clinicians that have, you know, I don't know, you call it shooting your shot or, or they said they're available. I'm not even interested in dating somebody at work in the field. Yeah, most people aren't, yeah. A lot of people are weird. no people be weird jay people a lot of people not even just therapists people that's what i'm saying weird man yeah yeah so when they like doc you so close off because y'all are weird yeah and then if you

hear me say nigger you just like like or you hear me say something that's not you know associated with my internal degrees or with this idea this image like dude i'm a real person i'm not always talking my mental help. Right, right. There's more to you. You're not a monolith. Yeah. So I'm like, man, you know, so when you talk about that true thing, man, I'm like, man, I just told God, I said, man, brother, listen, I'm 43, man, I'm like, man, can you please, like, show her to be, please. Y'all, Jay, literally, you hit me on my, but actually it was the day you hit me right before my birthday. I was landing in Miami and you said in an incredibly beautiful prayer, um, via, DM. And that morning, I had wrote in my journal. It was a day before my birthday. And I said,

God, I was like, I'm ready. If you think I'm ready. Because the times I thought I was ready, I wasn't ready. Because I'm the type of person where I'll be ready and I'll be open. And then they just get on my nerves. I'm like, oh my gosh. It's like, I want somebody that I can share space with and be like, this is really my homie. I'm going to tell you this. And I'm just to get this download, you'll see her. And even now, I'm here. And even now, I'm here. trust what you see. Yes. On everything.

On everything. On everything. Bro. Because you be having the answers before there is a question. Jay, I've had dreams. I just had a friend come to me. And he said, I had told him one night, I woke up and I said, I had a dream that you were in this girl's room.

This was probably three years ago. He said, I knew then I couldn't play with you. And I said, what are you talking about? He said, I was in her room that night you had that dream. I said, you are lying to me. And then my assistant, sorry to call you out, Herman, Herman was like, he said, you did the same thing to me the other day. I said, yeah, I was like, I just had this feeling, like, randomly that you were going to get, like, offered another job. He said, Crystal, he's like, I got offered a job that day that you said that.

He said, it scared me. And I was like, got it. So I'm glad you're doing this because I'm going to let the spirit shift this. The challenge, because I have a prophetic gift and you're a seer, I'm going to say this, I'm going to pray that God sends. somebody to see for you because the challenge with us yeah is we can see for everybody but ourselves yeah like I'm like I mean yeah and sometimes I'm like but God I can't see for me you know what I'm saying yes but I also feel that in this season that God has you in he's also giving you the confidence to not second guess what you see and feel he really is he really

He is. And to stand on business and like, I'm sorry. But when, because, man, Crystal, if I would have, that was my biggest challenge because my parents knew that I was prophetic and, and they, they had me with people who could, you know, really, really shape my gift because I hated it because I always was right or the spirit was right. And so I didn't pick my gift back up until I was like 35. I met a prophet here in Atlanta that took me under his wing. And man, man, hell.

Because he kept telling me, he was like, he's like, yeah, you're going to school to be a therapist. But this man said, you're a therapist in the disguise of a prophet. Wow. You know, he said you're a prophet in the disguise of a therapist. And so it, I second guess so much. And then when I would be right, I was in the, I was, it was already too late. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Like, man, I dated a girl, and I'm not going to get in this

because I don't even want to get hurt, this type of energy. But it cost me two years of agony and pain, but God told me. So I wouldn't break up with her. I'm sitting at her house sitting on the living room floor, and God said, I'm getting ready to shift this. This is like right before Christmas. The girl takes sick. I basically was caring for her for, like, several weeks.

And don't know, don't, couldn't figure it out. And I mean, and I never forget, when she got better, she says, I think I'm falling out of love with you. And I was like, wait a minute. I've been taking care of you. And I've been bathing you and da-da-da-da-da. But God was ripping that thing apart because my manager, Crystal, had told me she said, 12.

she called me 12 she said 12 I don't think you should date that girl I don't have a good feeling and my manager at the time is a seer as well when all this stuff happened and this girl I mean went on just a tyrant my manager called me she stopped managing me

she said I can't manage you anymore because I'm afraid of what's going to happen with this and exactly what she told me and I was so disobedient so but then God was telling me. But I felt, because this is the other thing, too, I would say this to people. Stop saying yes to people and we haven't ran it by God. What I've had to learn is go before God first and then, with everything, with everything,

even in my business, God, like this, this retreat that I did, I said, God, how do you feel? And I felt the okay in my spirit, you know what I mean? So, because normally what we do is human, we make Odyssey. and then we take it to God. Yeah. He's the last resort. And then with the itch fall apart. He'd be like, oh, man, that's so real, Jay.

Because even with this live show that we're doing in D.C., we were thinking of guests, and they were like, did you call someone? Because we'll throw out names. And I'm like, oh, I know them. Did you call him? And I was like, no, I didn't call him. And then I told Ashana one that was like,

God hasn't, like, it's not, hadn't settled on my heart that this is the person. And I was like, so I can't say that I can't call him. He would not let me call certain people. Man, that's how I'd be choosing my guests. I've had people that will say, hey, Dr. Jay, there's such and such. And they was like, what is your protocol? I said, it's a God thing.

Yeah. Because I need people to experience healing for real and not just because you want to get on here and tell your story. Exactly. That is. Friend, you're all right with me, man. You are right with me. Listen. Wow.

This is crazy. So much synergy. Faith. It's okay. not to be okay sometimes and be able to build strength and love within each other. Thanksgiving isn't just about food. It's a day for us to show up for one another. I'm Elliot Connie, host of the podcast Family Therapy, a series where real families come together to heal and find hope. What would be a clue that would be like? I've gotten lots of text messages

from him. This one's from a little bit better of a version of him. Because he's feeding himself well. It's always a concern. Like, are you eating well? He's actually an amazing cook. There was this one time where we had neighbors and I saved their dog and I ended up inviting them over for food and that was like one of my proudest moments. This is family therapy. Real families, real stories on a journey to heal together. Listen to season two of family therapy every Wednesday on the Black Effect Podcast Network, Iheart radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Jingle bells, jingle all the way. Yo, yo, can we get Thanksgiving first? I'm hungry. Hey, y'all, it's Kadeen.

And DeVal. The hosts of Ellis Ever After podcast. This holiday season, whether you're cooking for the family, out buying gifts for the kids, or crowded in holiday traffic, tune out the noise and tune in to Ellis Ever After. On Ellis Ever After, we get rid with our crew about family. If you feeling like you're feeling,

that's probably because you're a good parent. Friendship. Be careful what you put in your body. Move your body. and love it the way you love them cars that house them, them clothes, them shoes, love yourself, them brunches. Love and marriage. You know what's become attractive to me?

And it's because I've self-corrected and I guess I detoxified myself. Accountability. Like, it has become so attractive to me and everything else in between. I've told my most embarrassing moment on this podcast before, which was me taking a shit in a zip lock bag. So listen to Ellis Ever After on the I Heart Radio app, Apple Pie, or wherever you get your podcast

Welcome fellow seekers of the dark I'm Danny Trejo won't you join me in Nocturno Tales from the Shadows An anthology of modern day horror stories inspired by the legends

and lore of Latin America Take a trip from ghastly encounters with evil spirits to bone-chilling brushes with supernatural creatures and experience the horrors that have haunted Latin America since the beginning of time. You should probably keep your lights on

for Nocturnal Tales from the Shadows. Listen to Nocturnal Tales from the Shadows as part of my Cultura podcast network available on the iHeart radio app, Apple podcast, or wherever you get your podcast. I'm Hunter, host of Hunting for Answers on the Black Effect Podcast Network. Join me every weekday as I share bite-sized stories of missing and murdered black women and girls in America. There are several ways we can all do better at protecting black women. My contribution is shining a light on our missing sisters and amplifying their disregarded stories.

stories like Tamika Anderson. As she drove toward Galvez, she was in contact with several people, talking on the phone as she made her way to what should have been a routine transaction. But Tamika never bought the car, and she never returned home that day. One podcast, one mission, save our girls. Join the searches we explore the chilling cases of missing and murdered black women and girls. Listen to hunting for answers every weekday on the Black Effect Podcast Network, iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast.

If one of us wins, we all win. I'm Ashley Reifeld, and I'm the host of the women's skateboarding podcast. Good luck with that. Good luck with that is a skateboarding podcast that is part cultural record, part news brief, mostly group therapy, and a place to talk about the past, present and future of women and gender expansive skateboarding. This week, me and my co-host, Nora Vasconcellos and Alex White, we have Fabiana Delfino on the show, a professional skateboarder from Florida, whose grit was forged in a family of athletes.

Tune in to hear how she broke into the boys' club, what it takes to be pro, and why just being grateful you're here shouldn't be the price of entry. Maybe the industry thinks that we just started skating five years ago, because that's when they maybe started paying attention. It's a no-fluff conversation about putting in the years, stacking clips and receipts and still having to prove your worth while the industry catches up. You break down the door, sick now, like, hold the door for everyone.

We created good luck with that because we want to share our experience of existing in an industry that wasn't always built for everyone. So listen to good luck with that on iHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Clearly is a huge part of who you are in your healing. One thing I do want to know, especially for men and women listening, who may be going through something, what were your prayers like during that low time? time? Were they anger? Were you pleading or was it soft, quiet prayers? Like, how did you

talk to God during those times? Because some people feel like there's only one way to talk to him. No, I was very honest with God. Um, and this is, this is, and I'm going to be as real as I can be. I was honest because I really wanted to die. And I was upset at him because I was not dead. And the following morning, I'm sitting in my room and I'm sitting in my room and I'm crying because I did not expect to wake up. You were like, why am I still here? Why am I still here? And this encounter really transformed my life. I never forget it.

Sitting on the floor and the presence of God walks in my room. it's so strong crystal that I can't look up and I'm just crying I can't stop crying yeah and I feel the presence so so so powerful and I'm saying to God I was like man why am I still here I'm like I'm just and I'm saying man I I got to figure out if I'm here what am I going to do with this pain and all I kept hearing them say is give it to me yeah give it to me I literally see sit on the bed because I can't I don't know what to do I'm crying I'm falling to my knees and I'm just talking to God and I said I'm tired of hurting just like that I said I'm tired of hurting man yeah and I'm just sitting there crying like I'm just tired I'm tired and I'm just hearing

him saying give it to me give it to me and he says I promise you I'm going to use it yes and I'm sitting there and I said for what use it for what? I don't know what you're going. And that is the most difficult thing. I don't care where you are in your relationship with God is to trust him when he says to give you something. Because I don't know what you're going to do with it, God.

And I know that you say that you love me, and I know that the plans that you have for me are the prize for me and all these different things. I know that you call me blessed. I'm the Cedar, Abraham. But I don't know what you're going to do with this pain. I don't know what you're going to do with this marriage. I don't know what you're going to do with this marriage.

I don't know what you're going to do with this career. I don't know what you're going to do with this idea. Yeah. And so it's hard. And so I wish church people would stop acting like it's so easy to give something to him. It's not. Yeah. Because giving it to him is a daily, is a daily walk.

I have to release it daily. Yes. I have been releasing my pain daily because of the memories. Because trauma, it doesn't just impact the body. It doesn't just impact the way you think. You're impacted by it because of the tapes. Yes. It's like a videotape, like a tape that's constantly being played.

And this is why I believe in advanced modalities that therapy may not be the way. Maybe it's a form of somatic healing. Maybe it's TMS, transcranial magnetic stimulation where you got to set the device on your head and you got to allow them to stimulate your brain because of the impact of the trauma. and I had so much pain and my trauma I was just like God I don't know and I remember

being on my knees and I remember doing this surrendering just surrendering surrendering and I'm crying surrendering so after this happened I get on the phone with my mom and I call her and I said

and I'm crying still I said mama I said he came and she said what I said he came she said what are you talking about I said mama Jesus came and visited me today she just started crying oh my God

she said I was in prayer this morning and I said God go see about my son and he did the prayers of a mother she said God go see about my boy And I said, Mama, I'm going to try to hold on because he told me to give this to him. And that was that moment for me that it wasn't a prayer that was planned. It wasn't some words. I didn't have to pontificate.

You know what I'm saying? I didn't have to be so magniloquent and speak so eloquent. God just needed my raw feelings. God doesn't need us to be so. polish he needs us to be naked yeah he need us to be vulnerable i think we you know we try to oh god i just need you to know god needs you to sometimes hey yeah where are you man you told me you was gonna help me where's the help yeah he don't need these cute prayers sometimes it's just Jesus that's it that's it because crystal that's all I had

I didn't pray for a couple of years I didn't have any words and I remember sitting still one morning God said I hear you without you even praying because sometimes the human mind

is so weighted down from the pain, from the burden from the atrocities of just life that you don't even have anything to say. Yes. And all you can do is just sit there. And I had to learn that sometimes he just want us to sit there. That's it.

That's it. Sit there. It's so funny you say that I do a live on my Patreon with my sweeties. And one girl said, what do I do like when I can hear a guy's voice and I'm trying all these different things and nothing's working? And I was like, sometimes you're not hearing me because you're going. going going you need to sit down so you can hear him sit down i was like god's trying to stop you from making these mistakes and from doing these things but you won't sit down long enough to sit with them

that listen there's power in the stillness you know mother teresa says something um that god is a friend to silence stillness and solitude like we got to get still yeah get silent and and and and and be in that solitude be in that state yeah uh where you can just rest we have such a busy lifestyle we do I tell people I mean people that are not doing nothing busy because they're busy doing nothing you know what I'm saying so even with myself

it's learning to just sit with him and not say nothing and just to rest in his present and to rest even in what I don't understand because God really just looking for obedience. That's it. And I've had to learn that obedience is best displayed when you don't understand what he's doing.

And Crystal, I've learned to trust him to trust his methods when I don't understand his acts. You know what I mean? Because he's a God of order. he's a god of strategy yes you know what I'm saying he's a he's a great architect and so he's moving stuff that we don't even know right as my mom said baby God protects fools and babies so that's times where he's working and we don't know he's working and I've had to learn

and say you know what I don't know what you doing man yeah but do you think because he always gonna do his big one he's always going to do his biggest one where he'd be like wait this is I wouldn't even thought of this. He's like, I know, because I'm God and you're not. Listen, when people say, man, did you ever see that my grandma used to call me Dr. J. Your girl, oh, so that's, before you became a doctor, your grandma? She used to call me Dr. J. Wow. Rest her soul, she's to call me Dr. J. And you couldn't have told me because I know the game of football. I loved it. But man, you could have never told me that I would be a therapist,

would be in this position and be this voice, uh, uh, to be. You know, a reflection of what healing looks like in real time to be this black man who has been in the White House, who has been all over the country speaking and had a tour books. And you told me that man, 10 years ago. I've been like, man, I'd be like, Negro, please. Like, what? Therapists. Like mental health.

Yeah. Man. That's crazy. And I remember this prophet telling me, he said, God is going to use you. And I'm like, all right, whatever, man. Like literally, Chris, he was like, God is going to use you to transform the world. You're like, oof.

And I remember laughing at this man, like Sarah did at the angel when they told me. You're going to have a baby. Yeah, okay. Listen, that man called me 10 years later. You said, what I tell you. I was sitting on the couch. This is when Taraji had a show, peace of mind.

Yes. He prophesied. He said, I see you sitting on the couch with the celebrity. and you're talking about healing and da-da-da-da. What? He called me 10 years later when the episode aired, Hey, man of God. Man of God.

And he said, I told you what I saw. Wow. That God was going to use you the mighty way. I just broke down. So when you say he going to do his big one, and here's the other part, I've got to say this. People like us, we didn't even see this for ourselves. No, not.

to this magnitude. I didn't even want to do a podcast. Let's forget the podcast. But even, I wanted to be an actor. Like, that was a childhood gym. I wanted to be a singer. But the impact that we had to this magnitude never thought it.

Like, I just wanted to, like, be an artist. And then keep all this, my personal stuff to myself. Like, I wasn't trying to share my whole life with the world. But here we are, you know. Do you ever wake up any mornings and just be like, wow, Every day, every morning I wake up, every day I pull into my garage, every day even just like, I was talking to the other day, I was like, because just seeing cars, oh, those cars that drive themselves, pull it out in front of me, wave move. I was like, what is happening right now? And then I just thought I was like, God, thank you for the wrecks that I can't see.

You know, it's like moments where I'm always like, wow, this is crazy. Just even my life, like I was on live last night and or even last week, this week, we were, this week, we were. filming and two people came up to me asked me to pray for them. I'm like, my friend Brenda Palmer, she's a, you know, Brenda? She's always like, she calls me pastor. And then my other friends call me first lady. I'm like, like, you like, hey, hey, no, don't, tell me. Don't, don't, don't, don't y'all put that on my friend, man.

She goes to say, all right, PC. I'm like, stop it, Brenda. Man, listen. Because she hates what people call her pastor, Brendan, I'm like, but you're a pastor. Like, some people, that's what they call to do. Yes. See, God has blessed us because we're not tied to the four walls. no we are we ministered through entertainment yeah acting through podcast through speaking and through

curating curating spaces like i told god i'll do whatever you want to do but do not put me in no church and honestly i feel like god is doing a restruction of the church anyway because it's not we are the church that's not what he meant for it to be but crystal this is ministry it is what you're doing is ministry ministry is meeting people where they are this is ministry yeah you're meeting people because i not only Because if you tell me to keep it positive, that means I have to think positive. Yes. Yes.

You got to change your mindset. I have to change. But when you think about the word repentance, even in the Greek metanoa. Come on now. It's a pastor. So stop. So when you think about repentance in the Greek metanoa, it is a change to change the way you think. Yeah.

Wow. That's what it means. So it's not, you know. And even when you think about sin, like, because even we, I mean, it's just like, you know, I just love God has given me such as beautiful mind, you know what I mean, to deconstruct people's mind because even when we look at sin, it means to miss the mark. Yep. That's what it means.

And if you can change the way you think, you minimize missing the mark. So if we're going to get people to turn away from sin. sin and to get them to quote unquote repent, we have to help people change the way they think. It starts in these spaces. It starts because this is mental health. No, really. What you're doing is mental health. When you're getting on them lives, that's mental health.

Yes. No, literally. People leave change. Like we've seen the testimonies of people like just from coming into this community, the lives we've saved, me opening also about suicide and opening up about relationships with my family and help. helping mothers and daughters heal their relationships. It's been so many positive outcomes that have come from just us speaking our truth.

And that's why God keep blessing you. Yeah, wow. That's why God keep giving you more because he can trust you with it. Yeah, and that's my prayer too. He can trust you with it. And you don't have to keep praying, he can trust you with it because he didn't. Because as I'm speaking to you, I'm speaking to me. Yeah.

It'd be scared of me because I'm like, you give me a lot, God. Yeah. To whom much is given. Yes. It's the required part. the big requirement. And the requirement is really the responsibility. Yes.

Yeah. Because I don't want to mishandle the gift. I don't want to mishandle the call. Yeah. And I don't want to mishandle people. Yeah. You know what I'm saying? That's my burden.

It's like, God, listen. Like, even with my prophetic gift, like, I'm in spacing that people pull on it. And, and people will ask like, you, because you can always, Because it takes a profit to identify another prophet, like, truly, because it's the difference to walk in the, to have a prophetic gift, but also to walk in the office of that. But there are spaces that I'm in that that pulls on it. And I give the word, I leave. Yeah. Because I never, like, I'm not, you know, I'm just a man.

Yeah. And my focus daily is how can I be a better instrument to. fit into God's hand. Yeah. So he can use me. That's it. Yeah. That's so true.

And that's what we're doing and that's why God keeps expanding us because we have a heart for his people. Yeah. And Bishop said to me, he said, here's what people don't realize. You didn't ask for that. Yeah. And that's why he gave it to you. Folks be mad at what we have been given.

We didn't ask for this. You just wanted to be an artist. Yeah. I just wanted to be a football player. Yeah. And, like, my dream was play ball, you know, make a little money to buy a house, have a family. Like, I never wanted to be all over the country.

Yeah. I like being at home. Right. I was like, I have other plans for you. That is so true. Listen, every time I got to leave my house, I just be like, Lord, only for you, man. Only for you, man. Because I love home.

I'm like, oh, I can just stay there. Man, I'm such a homebody, man. Yes. I can get on that couch and turn that TV on. It's the rap. After I do my workout and my meal prep. Oh, yeah. Yo, it's cooked.

I'm not coming out of this house. Right. You're like me. I have to recharge. Like, home is like my recharging station. Like, for real. Like, that's where I get. How big is your social battery?

Oh, it's very small. Very limited. Yeah. Yeah. Like my team knows. I'll give them that look. Like Big West, I can just look at him. And he'd be like, all right, come on.

Like, because I, it's a lot, it's a lot. And they pull. They pull. They pull. Because you got their oil on you. You got their glow. And everybody wants the Bruce Leroyeroy. Not the Bruce Leroy.

Who's the master? Show enough. That is so true. We're telling our age right now. Hey, for real. 25, River, 25, 25. 25. Chris is 25.

Listen, Chris is 25. I'm 32. Right. But you got that glow on you, man. And they want it. It is. It's joy, though. Yeah.

Honestly, it's like it's not given by the world. I can definitely say that. And listen, here's the other part, man. They'd be attracted to you. They only know why. They don't know why. People say that all the time they say, I see you on TV. It's like, it's just something about her.

And I always say, it's the Lord. I ain't got nothing to do with it. I remember my mentor telling me, he said, I'm going to tell you something, man. He's going to know I'm telling it. He said, listen, what you got on you is you got to steward it well. He said, you got this football bill, chocolate, you speak well. He said, everything going to be attracted to you. And he looked at me.

Everything. Cat Williams. Everything. Everything. Everything. Everything. That's true. Man.

Because some of the stuff I'd be looking at me, like, look at me. And when he said that, man, I be daggone. You were like, everything. Because the anointing draws. Yeah. It's a drawer. Mm-hmm. And it draws everyone.

Right, roll. Red, blue. He's like, I don't know what it is, but I want it. And we got to revoke it in the name of Jesus. Because no. But that is so true. And a lot of times, we don't even be knowing, like, what all comes with. I'm sure you didn't know everything that came with this life and living in a lot.

You talked about when you take these platforms, it's not just you anymore. It's so, you open up for the audit, as Steve Bagg said. And that is so true, we open ourselves up to a light, and we don't realize how much comes along with this. Man, I, and this is my mother, mama, I want you to know. publicly baby how much i appreciate you my mother wakes up every morning at 3 30 and intercedes for me that means so much to me crystal every morning she wakes up at 3 30 and intercede and that's some morning i call at 5 o'clock she'd be like boy you know i'm just coming out the room for you you travel in this country healing these men you got a mighty you got a mighty

mandated mission on you boy or you got a big assignment but you're going to come And she told me recently, she said, King, I pray for you often because she said, you have such a good heart. And when you have a good heart, and I'm sure you know this, is that you want to see everybody get there. Yeah. And I think the toughest thing for me was that the circles would change because everybody can't go. Please come back next week as we continue this incredibly insightful conversation.

with Dr. King J. Barnett. Short on time, but big on true crime. On a recent episode of the podcast, Hunting for Answers, I highlighted the story of 19-year-old Lechay Dungey. But she never knocked on that door. She never made it inside. And that text message

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inspired by the legends and lore of Latin America. Listen to Nocturnal, Tales from the Shadows. On the I-Heart Radio app, Apple Podcast, or wherever you get your podcast. I'm Dr. Scott Barry Kaufman, host of the Psychology Podcast. Here's a clip from an upcoming conversation about how to be a better you. When you think about emotion regulation,

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