Keep it Positive, Sweetie - Growth Grief and The Courage to Heal w/ King Jay Barnett Part 2.

Episode Date: December 7, 2025

Today, Crystal Renee continues her conversation with Dr. Jay Barnett, licensed therapist and advocate, to discuss his transformation from a professional athlete to a leading voice in mental health. Barnett shares his powerful personal story of overcoming depression, surviving suicide attempts, and finding purpose through faith and therapy. This candid conversation covers the stigmatization of therapy among Black men, the impact of parental divorce, and the paths to healing and emotional intelligence. Barnett also touches on the role of spirituality in his life, the importance of being vulnerable, and the challenges of navigating relationships while pursuing a higher calling. With deep honesty, both Hayslett and Barnett reflect on their personal journeys, the significance of seeking help, and the power of prayer and stillness. @luvcrystalrenee @KingJayBarnettSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

I'm Marcus Grant. And I'm Michael Flaureo, and together we host the NFL fantasy football podcast. Ready to dominate your fantasy league this season? Then you need the NFL fantasy football podcast, your ultimate source for player news, draft tips, and winning strategies. Whether you're a rookie manager or a fantasy vet. We've got the insight to help you crush your opponents. Listen to the NFL Fantasy Football podcast on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcast, or wherever you get your podcasts.

I'm Robert Smith, and this is Jacob Goldstein, and we used to host a show called Planet Money. And now we're back making this new podcast called Business History about the best ideas and people and businesses in history. And some of the worst people, horrible ideas, and destructive companies in the history of business. First episode, How Southwest Airlines Use Cheap Seats and Free Whiskey to fight its way into the airline is. The Most Texas Story Ever. Listen to Business History on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Short on time, but big on true crime. On a recent episode of the podcast, Hunting for Answers, I highlighted the story of 19-year-old

Lichet Dungey. But she never knocked on that door. She never made it inside. And that text message would be the last time anyone would ever hear from her. Listen to Hunting for Answers from the Black Effect Podcast Network on the IHeart radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Dr. Laurie Santos from the Happiness Lab here. It's the season of giving, and this year my podcast, The Happiness Lab, is partnering with

Give Directly, a nonprofit that provides people in extreme poverty with the cash they need as part of the Pods Fight Poverty campaign. Our goal this year is to raise $1 million, which will bring over 700 families out of extreme poverty. Your donation will put cash directly in the hands of these families in need, and they'll get to decide how to use it, whether that's school transportation, purchasing livestock, or starting a business. Plus, if you're a first-time donor, your gift will be matched by giving multiplier, which means more money for those in need. Visit givedirectly.org

slash happiness lab to learn more and to donate. That's give directly.org slash happiness lab. What are the cycles fathers passed down that sons are left to heal? What if being a man wasn't about holding it all together, but learning how to let go? This is a space where men speak truth and find the power to heal and transform. I'm Mike Dela Rocha. Welcome to Sacred Lessons. Listen to Sacred Lessons on the IHart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast. Calling all my sweeties to the forefront.

I'm your host Chris Renee Hazett and this is the Keep It Posit Sweetie Show And everybody can't go And Tyler, he was on here and he said It's like a rocket ship You know, you have boosters But when it gets to a certain elevation they fall off Yeah, when it breaks that stratosphere, stuff has to fall off

Because it'll slow it down You know Have you dealt with it? It's been hard For me because I care so much about people but then on the other side the purpose creates the distance

because they can't keep up you know what I'm saying and so and I'm sure like because like there's times literally I'll be like God God is so funny with me like I'll meet somebody I'll be like God they're cool and you know we'll get the chopping it up man and all of a sudden I got I'm on the road and I'll try to keep up but

And God was speaking to me, you know, he said, you, I'm a, I have to assign certain people to where you are because what we carry, um, as massive as it is and as powerful as it is, it's too delicate to be put in the wrong hands. Yes, too delicate to be mismanaged. And it's too delicate to be mismanaged. So, uh, there's some friendships that I've had to grieve. and I've had to have some conversation, you know, with some friends that they accepted it. And they was like, man, Jay, we just, you know, we're just so used to what it was. Yeah, but it ain't that no more. And it ain't that no more. And the fear for a lot of people, when God starts to expand those that whoever he's handpicked and chose is nobody wants to be left behind. No.

And that's what it is. And so I've had to learn that I can't bring everybody. And I think right now I have the perfect team around me. It took years to find the right fit people that you can trust with your career. Yeah. You know what I'm saying? Because that's big. Yeah.

But through much prayer, it's just my mom, man, interceding for me. And then there's a few ladies that intercede along with her, some old saints, man, that going to get up there in the morning and call on God, man. and they're going to see it and they're going to say, hey, King, watch out for this and watch out for that. You know what I mean? Man, that's just such a blessing to have people. Because when we're doing what we do,

you know, there's some things that we overlook that we miss. Yeah. And sometimes a snake do get in the camp. And I'd never forget, my mom told me about this particular person, man. She woke about her sleep and called me. God said, don't share nothing else with them. My mama had a dream about somebody, too. That's great.

Mamas be, my mom had a dream that a friend of mine was living with me and poisoning my food. My God today. And she was like, please, she said, just be careful. And she was like, I don't think she would literally do that, but she's poison to your life. I said, my God, today, as you say, no, it was, mama's be. It's real. And we need it.

Because we don't, because a husband is a covering as much as a wife is a covering. We don't have that. Yeah. You know what I'm saying? So we need it and I welcome it. Like before I get on the stage, my mother prays. Yeah.

And when I get off the stage, she prayed. And she says, I'll do this to your wife come. Wow. Because she says, I need you to be covered because when I get on stage and open up myself. Yeah. And you know this from playing the character. you have to become void.

So the character feels, you know what I'm saying? And so I have to be open for God to pour into me what the people need, no matter how much I study, no matter how much I know and the ingenuity of the concepts and all of that. And then I get off stage, all the virtue is gone. And recently I was in Detroit, and it was a very prophetic move that I thought, was just going to be a regular men's retreat and it turned into me speaking into men's life

and i got off stage and uh cj wasn't with me but the the guy had some brothers who was some solid brothers and they walked me to the back and i was literally like i got to call my mama yeah wow immediately i was just like i said mama pray i was so drained it's like jesus when he would feed the fish and five loaves of bread and feed everybody and and the reason you got to be prayed over because That is your most vulnerable state. Yes, it is. And I watch too many men fall.

Yep. Because if you don't have anybody to cover you, you become so vulnerable and you'll find yourself in a vulnerable state. Yeah. And so, you know, I just thank God that you have their mother man that does that man. For sure. Like, we have a huge assignment. We do.

And it's, like you said, the people, like making sure. Have you noticed, like, as you go close to the guide? that you have a distaste for things that you used to, like, love. And then you see, like, you're around people, you're like, ah. What? Yeah. I'm so grateful that the people around me, like, I don't have to worry about that, you know? Yes, yes.

I, like, there's a lot, like, you know, my team now is really good. But they've even grown to understand the things I have a distaste for. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Like, when I'm on set, they know, you know what I mean, pray. because we've been on set times filming and there's a breakthrough happening for people.

Do you know what I mean? And there's a breakthrough happening for people and I'll tell them like, hey, prayer may break out during this episode. Because if you're talking to somebody who is on a healing journey and I'm talking about deep things and things that have a stronghold on people because I know I carry a break as anointing.

You get around me, you're going to get set free. Come on now. There's no doubt. about you you cannot stay the same around me yeah can you see jay okay yeah you can't stay the same around yeah you cannot and that's not an arrogant but that's what god is giving me yes it's a breakers an anointed which is why i'm he placed me in the mental health space that i ain't got to lay hands on yeah that that's such a power in my words come on that would shift that stronghold that spirit that this ease that you have yeah and i know that and in knowing that the devil knows that yep

so that's time I've gotten off stage I've saw people be be set free I've watched men break down and cry and I get off stage and the enemy who say but your dad ain't call you you know what I'm saying yes you know you you still you know want to be fathered you know what I mean Yeah. Because I do, and I'm not in a place where I'm like, oh, I want to be father. But there's parts of me that will love to have conversations with him that pours into me. Yes. And not this kind of like, hey, just, you know, where are you at the day?

Like, you know what I mean? How's travel? Like to have a word from him. Yes. You know what I'm saying? True relationship, yeah. Exactly. And so the enemy will whisper that because I hear men said, man, said, man, Dr. Jay, my God, brother, you broke something.

me and I'll and I have to get on the phone to seal that door yeah because if that door stays open I'll be depressed for three days who you call when to sell that door I usually call my mother yeah and I usually usually talk with her um Bishop jakes has been so pivotal in this space man uh Bishop borders you know two strong men of God that have walked through things yes that have overcome that know the Bible, but no life. Yeah. They're seasoned. Right.

Not just in the word, but they're seasoned in life. That's important. You know what I mean? So they got range. Yeah. You know, they've been where I'm at. And Bishop scares me all the time. He's like, you got a strong call.

I wouldn't want to be you. I'm on my way out. It's on you now. I'd be like, listen, man. But, you know, he told me, he said, he said you're healing ancient wounds in men yeah and he said you're under an open heaven so whatever you ask God for he's going to give it my God just keep walking in it yeah and he told me this a couple of weeks ago and it just blessed me he said uh you don't have to walk this out by

yourself I'm here wow because it's scary man yeah and that's probably what you want to hear from your father yeah it's scary man yeah And I think because he told me, Bishop said, I pour into you because I see the trajectory you are. You're on the same trajectory I was on. Yeah. And I remember I spent like five hours with him and we was walking in his backyard.

And he said, I brought you out here so you can see where you're going. And this was like a couple years ago. And he said, you're on that trajectory. And he said, build the right team. Yeah. And he said, build what God is showing you. And when he said that, it just did something in me and to have him because we're at a season where you got to talk to the Towers.

Yeah. Yeah. When you said that, that reminds me, that is who Tyler is to me. I got to talk to the Jakes. You got to talk to the Opus. You got to talk to, you know what I'm saying? You know, the Ava Duvenates. You have to sit with those people now.

And it's not that we can't sit down. here but when you're called up you got to be talking to people who are up yeah let come on jay say it again when you're called up you have to be talking to people who are up yes because if you go down you feel bad you feel guilty for being up yeah survivors guilt because now down makes you feel a certain type of way well um i normally don't eat at places like this and i mean i guess everything has to be like I'm sorry that I want a good meal and again and it's not saying and that's what God is really training me to understand yeah that you can't go back to down and I want to be clear that's not say that I can't come down to mountain to the mountain and speak to you but I have to understand

that my conversations and my relationship has to be up yes because everybody that's down don't want to do the work to be not just to be called up but what it requires to go up because there's a level the word that comes to me you have to abnegate you have to deny yourself to go up

there's sacrifices that you have to make there's things that you have to say no to and say no with such a confidence to say maybe a good opportunity no but it's not for me yes my friend told me she said girl you say no so easily I'm like that's my favorite word no because what I say no to gives power to what I say yes to that's a word doc you're preaching now that's a word it gives power to my yes so I got to say no I can't I can't make that yeah and I'm free exactly I ain't on the calendar

Just can't. Yeah. You talk about sacrifices. What is one of the biggest sacrifices you've had to make to be Dr. King J. Barnett, like to be who you are? Dying to myself every day. Daily. That's a daily thing.

A daily thing. Surrendering. Yeah. And I truly believe my intercessor was talking to me the other day. She said she was giving me this word that God gave her for me. And she says, man, it's your surrender that is. provoking God to expand your territory

it's to surrender because Christa that's time I don't want to I don't want to give a word I don't want to speak to the brothers because sometimes I need a word you know what I'm saying? That's times that I walk in my door

after men blowing up my DM and you know what I'm saying after the Denham King episode aired with Kirk Franklin my brother love him and what he's doing with his platform and the amount of men that were blowing up my DMs man and I'm just like because when that when the episode hit

I was in a good space mentally but I wasn't in a good space emotionally because emotionally my heart is like man dude why do I have to keep doing this alone emotionally mentally because of the athlete in me like let's go to work yes yes let's go to work but emotionally so So all of these men are like, bro, man, this episode, man, I got dudes screenshoting me that they're booking therapy sessions. Wow. After the episode. That's amazing.

Wives are DM in me said, you are helping me understand my husband. Wow. This is what he's been trying to tell me. And sometimes you need to hear that from a different perspective to understand. Yeah. Man, mothers that are like, Dr. Jay, can I get my son? And I'm like, man, I don't see patience, clients anymore, you know, and just like trying to find resources for them. Yeah.

And I'm saying to God, I need a resource. Come on. Like, Crystal, that week, that thing, era, I needed the biggest hug. Yeah. Like, I mean, I just needed the physical embrace of nothing sexual, but just the connection of like, man, let me hold you in this second. Yeah. Wow. Because we don't hear men talk about that, right?

We don't. Like, I've had a young lady that I was talking to, and she says, what do you think that you need mostly as you were? I said, hug. Mm-hmm. Sometimes it's just to embrace. Nothing sexually, it ain't on no physical. Because I'm in a place where it's like just what a hug does,

the restoration and even understanding that we need about four to six hugs a daily as human beings. Wow. It's good for our mental state. It's good that's serotonin because when you get a hug, it creates a sense of belonging. Yeah. And connection.

And sometimes I feel lonely doing the work because I look around at the mountaintop and there's not a lot of men that think on this level. There's a lot of men that are educational and they have the acumen educational, but the spiritual thing that I have, they don't have. Yes, yes. Because I'm not always moving clinically, you know, and theoretically. Sometimes it's through revelation. Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm. Yeah. No, that's real. You know what I'm saying? You know what I mean? So there's times where it's like, I need to be around somebody who understands a shift spiritually. Yeah. You know, and not always be so technical.

And I'm like, God, I need to be able to talk somebody about this dream I just had. Right. Right. And I'll call my mom and she would be like, she'd be like, King. Like, she used to call me King. Now she called me Doc. She's, Doc, you had her dreams lately? I said, matter of fact, Mama.

Because I don't want to bother her with stuff like that. So, you know, I said, Mama, you kept me processed something because if Mama go, you know, start digging, man, and she's been digging a lot lately. Really? Because when I'm on the road a lot, she did. She said, how are you feeling, Doc? I said, I'm all right, Mama.

No, how was it? How was it me? And I said, it was good. men were blessed and, you know, life, da-da-da. And she'd be like, no, how you really feel it? I said, Mama, man, it's rough. They're like, give me the real. I said, Mama's hard out here.

She'd be like, baby, I'm praying for you. I'm praying. I'm praying, son. It's coming. She's coming. She's coming. I said, Mama. She knew what you're talking about.

Listen, listen, Chris, I said, Mama, you said this five years ago, Negro, stop. Right. Where is she? Like, just stop. That's so funny. bad and we'll laugh about it but you know uh that sacrifice man is daily i have to give it back to him yeah and what we've been giving our gifts because what is extraordinary to others it's just order we just do what we do you know so the sacrifice is giving it back to him and and i would say

this to anybody that if god is giving you a gift of ministry a gift of business a gift of art of gift of law, a gift of political science, a gift of exercise, fitness, whatever it is, give it back to him, man. Yeah. That's what keeps me humble. Yeah. Because I'll never forget being under that bed.

So no amount of money, success, fame, whatever, make me forget that. Forget that moment. And it's because people are like, man, you're so humble, you're so approach you. I'm like, I was under a bed trying to die. Wow. How dare I put my nose in the air like I'm, because guess what? We're all one phone call, one text, one conversational away from being in a depressed state. Because all it takes is a conversation. For somebody to say, hey, the doctor on the phone. You know what I'm saying? For somebody say, hey, so-and-so is an accident. Hey, we're going to let you go. So you, you, you,

How dare I? So when I tell brothers, when they admire me, I'm like, brother, I'm still on my own journey. Daily, I got to get on my knees and give this thing back to him. I got to give my flush back to him. Yeah. You know what I'm saying? Because, you know what I mean? I want to be outside, too.

Right. And not in that way, people. But, you know, that's time I want to just go out and let my hair out. You know, I'm not a drink or a smoker. But that's time I just want to be like, you know, well, I want to go to a little chill spot tonight. Yeah. But then I just got to, you can't go, Jane. You can't go.

So I got to curate a space or I got to get with people like Crystal, you know what I'm saying, where it's secluded and where folks ain't got their phones out. Oh, my goodness. Ashana, we got to bring him on a boat day. It's a good time. Ain't no recordings. Man, listen, when I tell you, I love how, you know, that space is where we can go in and it's just like, ain't nobody, man. And we're all in the moment. I did that for my birthday last year.

I did a basement party at my house and had everybody sign NDAs and then they took their phones. Yeah, you couldn't get downstairs with your phone. Yeah, I love it. Yeah, we had a ball. Listen, listen, have you have done Michelle wins podcast? I haven't, no, but I love Michelle.

So Michelle, you got to do a podcast. Michelle and I like this, man. That is my dog, man. I love Michelle. One thing Michelle going to call me, Doc! Apostle, Bishop, Evangelist. Make sure you got them NDA.

Make sure you get, listen, sign them. Everybody. What? Listen, I don't care how long you know on them. I made my family sign NDAs before they come to my house. Because y'all ain't about the slipping fall in Suv. I'm serious. Man, listen.

Michelle, I love you, man. Listen. And now Chris, and now Chris tell them about, like, listen, C.J. get them NDAs together, man. Yes, yes, appearance releases and everything, okay? Listen, but it has been, it's been a beautiful journey though to see what God has done in my life. And then, too, just to be in spaces like you

because to sit in the space with you is like to meeting another Avenger. Wow, I love it, yeah. Like when we get together, think about when you get together with other gifted people. And spiritually sound and mentally grounded and emotional, competent people. Yes. As a shift. Yeah.

We're like, dang. Where are you being? That's crazy. Seriously. Yeah. Man, where are you being? Yes. And it's just such a, and it's such a restorative time.

For sure. I'm encouraged being here today with you, man. Oh, thank you. I'm encouraged. I feel like the old fault. like I can run on. Come on now. See what they ain't going to be.

Amen. I'm Robert Smith. This is Jacob Goldstein. And we used to host a show called Planet Money. And now we're back making this new podcast called Business History about the best ideas and people and businesses in history. And some of the worst people, horrible ideas and destructive companies in the history of business. Having a genius idea without a need for it is nothing. It's like not having it at all.

very simple, elegant lesson. Make something people want. First episode, how Southwest Airlines use cheap seats and free whiskey to fight its way into the airline business. The most Texas story ever. There's a lot of mavericks in that story. We're going to have mavericks on the show. We're going to have plenty of robber barons. So many robber barons. And you know what? They're not all bad. And we'll talk about some of the classic great moments of famous business geniuses, along with some of the darker moments that often get overlooked. Like Thomas Edison and the electric chair. Listen to Business History on the IHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast.

Hey, I'm Kelly, and some of you may know me as Laura Winslow. And I'm Telma, also known as Aunt Rachel. If those names ring a bell, then you probably are familiar with the show that we were both on back in the 90s called Family Matters. Kelly and I have done a lot of things and played a lot of roles over the years. But both of us are just so proud to have been part of Family Matters. Did you know that we were one of the longest running sitcoms with a black cast? When we were making the show, there were so many moments filled the joy and laughter and cut up that I will never forget. Oh, girl, you got that right.

The look that you all give me is so black. All black people know about the look. On each episode of Welcome to the Family, we'll share personal reflections about making the show. Yeah, we'll even bring in part of the cast and some other special guests to join in the fun and spill some tea. Listen to welcome to the family with Telma and Kelly on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. For 25 years, I've explored what it means to heal, not just for myself, but alongside others. I'm Mike De La Rocha. This is Sacred Lessons, a space for reflection, growth, and collective healing.

What do you tell men that are hurting right now? Everything's going to be okay. on the other side, you know, just push through it. And, you know, ironically, the root of the word spirit is breath. Wow. Which is why one of the most revolutionary acts that we can do as peoples just breathe. Next to the wound is their gifts. You can't even find your gifts unless you go through the wound.

That's the hard thing. You think, well, I'm going to get my guess. I don't want to go through all that. You've got to go through the wounds you're laughing. Listening to other people's near-death experiences, and it's all they say. In conclusion, love is the answer. to Sacred Lessons as part of the My Cultura Podcast Network, available on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast. If one of us wins, we all win.

I'm Ashley Reifeld, and I'm the host of the women's skateboarding podcast. Good luck with that. Good luck with that is a skateboarding podcast that is part cultural record, part news brief, mostly group therapy, and a place to talk about the past, present, and future of women and gender expansive skateboarding. This week, me and my co-host, Nora Vascenzelos and Alex White, we have Fabiana Delfino on the show, a professional skateboarder from Florida, whose grit was forged in a family of athletes. Tune in to hear how she broke into the boys' club, what it takes to be pro, and why just being grateful you're here shouldn't be the price of entry. Maybe the industry thinks that we just started skating five years ago, because that's when they maybe started paying attention. It's a no-fluff conversation about putting in the years, stacking clips and receipts, and still having to prove your worth while the industry. catches up. You break down the door. Sick. Now, like, hold the door for everyone. We created good luck

with that because we want to share our experience of existing in the industry that wasn't always built for everyone. So listen to good luck with that on IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Hi, Dr. Lori Santos from the Happiness Lab here. It's the season of giving, which is why my podcast is partnering with Give Directly, a nonprofit that provides people in extreme poverty with the cash they need. This year, we're taking part in the the pods fight poverty campaign. And it's not just the Happiness Lab. Some of my favorite podcasters are also taking part. Think Jay Shetty from On Purpose, Dan Harris from 10% Happier, and Dave Desteno from How God Works and more. Our goal this year is to raise

$1 million, which will help over 700 families in Rwanda living in extreme poverty. Here's how it works. You donate to give directly, and they put that cash directly into the hands of families in need, because those families know best what they need, whether it's buying livestock to fertilize their farm, paying school fees, or starting a small business. With that support, families can invest in their future and build lasting change. So join me and your favorite podcasters in the Pots Fight Poverty campaign. Head to give directly.org slash happiness lab to learn more and make a contribution. And if you're a first-time donor, giving multiplier will even match your gift. That's give

directly.org slash happiness lab to donate. Well, you've accomplished so much, I'm so proud of you, but the latest thing you've done, you and Dr. Joel Tubman have acquired a four-location health group. Tell me more about this, because you've thrived in the mental health space via social media and all over the world, but now you're bringing it home to Dallas. Yes. How is that? It has been a guy thing.

I've always wanted to own my own practice. Yeah. But the way this thing happened was truly a guy thing. sitting in a meeting and in the midst of the meeting I'm sitting I felt the lady shift in the meeting I felt I said man

this lady is a seer she paused the meeting and she says Dr. Jay I just see you in this building and this programs and da da da da and I'm sitting there and all stuff has got to show me

and so she end with that and then she goes have you ever thought about owning your own mental health practice? I said, no. She says, well, someone very close to me is selling their practice. The husband is retiring. Yeah. And they want to sell the practice.

So make a loan story short, she says, I'll put you guys in an email. I go visit the lady. I go visit the lady. Doesn't look like us? Caucasian lady. Yeah. Sit down. She had researched me, but, you know,

it's different when you meet somebody we get to talking and she says what got you into mental health and I shared my story and she was just Dana in tears and she said you really love people don't you I said absolutely I said I don't care if they white black you know what color I said I love I want to see people well and I said more importantly I want to see me well right and she said to me she said I would love to see more men coming to my practice and the lady said my practice is listed at 1.2 million revenue and she says but for you I'll give it to you half of that wow and I was like so Joe so Joel is in town I'm preaching. So we go to dinner. I said, bro, I just had this meeting. This lady wants me to

consider buying a practice. And Joe, what? Dog, you lie. Don, we got to do it, man. I said, yeah, he said, we. And so I said, he said, I mean, he said, if you are having. I said, come on. Yeah, yeah. I said, he said, dog, I said, what she want for? I said, JT. I got, I got 50 on me now. I said, J.T. He's a real one. Right. You see?

Well, nope, because I already know he's going to be polished to Dr. Joel, this and that. I love you, bro. But, you know, he was like, man. So we started talking. So we do a meeting and we meet with the owner and her husband. So we meet with them. She sends an email and she says, I want you guys to consider buying my practice. I was like

So we go look at all four the location, beautiful and this lady was on it. So we got a team together to do the due diligence, to look under the hood, to check the financials and the profit and losses and all of that. Everything checks out. So we were

going to go the SBA route but then all of a sudden the lady says, make me an offer. Now she had gave me a Give us one number. Yeah. Then she turned around and said, make her an offer. God, all in the midst of this thing.

I said, J.T. Dog, I'm telling you, man. God is going to do it. So, Mama Mary. I took, she had a postcard. When we went by the first office, she had a postcard. I took it home and put it in the Bible. And I lifted before God.

I said, God, if it's your will. Yeah. I'll do it. But if it's not, and I sit my Bible now and walked out. My mother called me that night and said, Doc, God is going to give you that practice. Wow.

I said, mama, because this process was about three months, Chris. Yeah, people don't understand this is a- Acquisitions is a lot of work, man. It's a lot of work. And I'm in San Diego visiting my therapist. I took eight days off. I said, I need to go by the water and pray. The second day I was in San Diego,

with Joe, we got off the phone. And I said, man, he said, man, what do you think? So the broker says, hey, somebody just made us a cash offer. So I said, man, JT. The broker said, the broker, I felt he was a little, you know, I ain't going to say, but I didn't think he wanted us. So the broker says, hey, Dr. J, Dr. Joel, somebody's made a cash offer, and the owner is going to review it. And I told Joe, I said, man, bro, we can chalk it up, man.

Somebody can make her a cash offer, man. She can't refuse it. I said, she going to take that. Joe, man, trust God, man. I said, J.T. I trust God, but right now, this white man. Right. I said, J.T, I trust God, but, bro, I'm just, the next morning.

morning, I get an email from the broker, the owner accepted y'all offer. Trust God, man. So I call him, right? I'm on East Coast. I mean, I'm on the West Coast. So I'm like, it's six o'clock my time. I'm at the gym, so I'm hype, ready. I'm like crying.

I call him, I think, because he's in Florida, so he's like three hours ahead. Yeah. I said, J.T., you ain't going to bleed as what? I said she accepted the offer, nigger, I told you! Oh, I love my brother. I told you God we're going to do this thing, man. And sure enough, man, this lady, Crystal,

she told me in our meeting, she said, I have 15 offers. Because people want that. She said, I had 15 offers, but it was you guys the entire time. I know it was your heart for the people. And that's what she said. Yeah.

She said venture capitalists, so many people that offer money because, oh, the revenue and the upside is, it's astronomical, but she said it was your heart. Yep. You and Dr. Joel and the business act, and just the integrity that you guys move in. And I said, what made you choose up? she said you guys were always a right choice she said I have 15 cash offers and she said I'm excited to see what you guys do with my baby she says I'm not going anywhere she said I want you guys to lead it yeah I want you guys to expand it diversify it yeah and all the things and so man

when I tell you and then about three weeks ago I get a call from a brother who's a pastor who calls and says, hey, man, why didn't you tell me what you and Joe was doing? I said, well, I didn't know I had to call you first. And he said, I'm calling you because I have a building that's paid for in Chicago. And he said, what do you want to do with it? I said, definitely mental health. Yeah.

He said, either you could take a whole floor, you could take the whole building. I said, man, what's the catch? He said, there's no catch. he says i i live in new york and he said uh i own a lot of property jay and i want to give you this building wow gave me the building he said i want to give you the deed he said come look at it i want you to walk through it wow he said i want you and then another brother call another brother call wow and said brother how much money do you need i said i don't need nothing he said, I just want to get behind what you're doing.

This brother said, well, when you do it, just know that you got a million dollars behind the next project. My God. That's nothing but God. And just walking in faith. Yes. And just trusting God when he told me to go back to school. Yeah, yeah.

And look, exactly. Obeying that. Yes, obedience. He told me, God told me to go back to school in 2015. Did you question that? Like, why are you going to go to school? Lord. And I was working in a group home, volunteer for all girls group home. And I had a program for girls that were battling anxiety and depression. And Elisa Jarrett, the director of Black

woman, she said, Jay, you need to go back to school. She said, Jay, you're good at this. You need to be a therapist. I said, Ms. Alicia, by this time, I had been in therapy. I was 33 years old. She said, Jay, I said, Ms. Alicia, I'm 33. I ain't going back no school, man. If this bachelor's don't do it, I can't I can't do it. Yeah. I went home and God arrested me. God said, go back to school. Something is coming.

That's what he said. This is 2015. 2020 happened. Before therapy was even like popular. Come on now. And when 2020 happened and George Floyd passed and I started talking about mental health and black men, Taraji came across my video, brought me. on her team

dropped Jess Hill bro right after that in August. I'm writing Just Here Bro because God told me he said write it down. I heard the name Just Hill bro. Yeah. I wrote the book a year later Meet Hope Allen

turned Jess Hillbro into a tour we do. We tour three years, 36 cities, 18,000 men. Wow. Then, you know what I'm saying? I get a book deal. Then it's like

all this is just And I heard God say to me, your obedience has provoked me. The same as Abraham obedience provoked him. Yes, yes. And I'm always been fascinated by Abraham because it's like, how do you be called a friend of God? Yes, right. To be considered a friend.

And I was asking God, he said, the way he trusts me. Trust, yeah. The way he trusts him to say, hey, the very son that I get you, I'm not calling you to sacrifice. Yeah. But to think that Abraham's faith was so strong in God. Yeah. That he was walking in faith and didn't even know it because he looked at the

scripture said he looked at his servant and said, me and the lad are going to worship. Yeah. And we will be back down. Yeah, because he knew. Not knowing that there was a ram in the bush. Yes. He had faith. That's a different kind of faith.

That's a different kind of faith. So when he told me to go, I was, I was. I was in a relationship, engaged at 33. Wow. And I'm like, I'm going back, like, who are my God, it's what? And I'm like, you know, I just hear God. Jay, really?

You heard God? Man, this. Not Jay really. Oh, man. Like, and this is, talking to people about what God has said to you, man, is so dangerous. No, seriously.

I learned that because it was just like, it broke my spirit. It broke my confidence. And then she did call me when I was on Sherry's Shepherd show. She texted me. She did me, matter of fact, and said to watch a man walk in what God says. She says, Jay, she's married now. So God bless her. Shout out to her. But she said, Jay,

the respect that I have for you because I've never seen a man walk in something that he felt led to do. Yeah, that's real. And I said, when God save me, my life, I'm like, I know I don't owe God, but I've always felt that. Yeah, yeah. And I had no other choice but to trust them. That is so true. That's

how we got here. I told Joe, I was like, I said, bro, I woke up the other morning. And I said, JT, what? He'd be like sometimes, like I love a beggar. Sometimes he, because he has so much going on. I said, bro, we really own this practice, dude.

It's crazy. And I want people to understand because I have a friend whose family owns a really big one here in Atlanta to understand, one, how hard it is to get it from the ground up. People would cut off a left foot to have somebody who's already built it up and say, here are my books, here's the business. Like, the hard part is already over. Like, literally, they don't understand how hard it is. This lady built this thing for nine years.

Yeah. And she is willingly handed it. over. Yeah, that is, that in itself is a huge blessing. I mean, I'm just like, you know, we like we have weekly calls with her because, you know, she's going to stay on until, you know, until she fully transitioned out. And she said to, she says, guys, I'm not going anywhere. I'm going to be right here. You know, because I'm like, you know, we're assembling a great team. Yeah. And she's so excited for us. That's amazing. Yeah. Like, she gets on the call. Guys, how do y'all feel being older's? Oh, what's her name? Her name's Rebecca.

Rebecca, everybody needs a Rebecca. Man, she's like, guys, how do you guys feel? Yeah. And Joel B. Man, oh, it's scary. And I'm like, Rebecca, I'm like, I don't know, like, it's so surreal. Yeah. And I love the way God deals with me because he said, believe it.

You believe it, yeah. It's through your obedience that I put you in this position because I'm like now, because we're looking to expand not only in Chicago. But in Florida, and God said, I've already made the way. You know what I mean? But I've always had this faith about God that was restored through therapy. Even when I was a kid, when my parents divorced, we grew up in Mississippi, and I told my mom, I said, you got to get us out of here. And my mom said, baby, I don't know where we're going.

So it was either Memphis, because we live north Mississippi, which is like an hour from Memphis. I said, Mama, Memphis is just, it's second cup. I said, so we went to Texas to visit some of her friends. And this was in July for the 4th of July in 1996. And I said, Mama, I would like to move to Texas. We ain't moving. My mom had a great job. So I started packing stuff in the house. True story.

I started packing stuff in the house, boxing it up, because she's boxing it up. And my mama came home with me. My mama came home one day. Jay, stop boxing up my stuff, boy. I said, Mama, we're moving. I said, Mom, I'm telling you, we're getting out of here. Because I did not want to go to ninth grade in Mississippi, man.

Like, I was like, Mama, I do not want to go to school here. Because my parents' divorce was so public. And there was such shame around it. Wow. And I knew my mom did not want to stay there because she was a first lady. And everybody knew what had happened, what it went down. Yeah. And I can feel her shame.

even at the age of 13. Wow. Man, my mama came home August 10th. My mind remembers these dates, August 10th. She pulled in a yard with a U-Haul truck. Wow. I said, Mama. She said, what do you do?

I said, Mama, what did you do? She had got a severance package from her job. Wow. Her vehicle that she had, she had to give it back to the job she couldn't take it out of state and by the time she walked through the house she said this boy then packed up all my stuff

my neighbor Lamont Lamont Thomas said came over a neighbor who's my classmate he said JJ what are you all going? I said man we're going to Texas he started crying he was like man my man my friend leave because he lived directly cross the street He came over and helped us pack the truck.

Wow. My mama drove that U-Haul truck to Texas. I know that's right. So my faith has, and God brought me to my faith in therapy. When I started healing, he said, remember what I did. Remember. The same way those tapes playback of the bad times, you got to remember how God guided you. Yeah, that's real.

So I never forget that. Wow. And how easily do we forget? Very easy. Oh, my goodness. We get amnesia real quick. But he'll remind you. Man, he's faithful, Christy.

He is. Even when we're not faithful. Even when we're not on the right path and I had to learn, even when we're on the wrong path, we're on the right path. Yeah. Because, again, he's the author and the finisher. Mm-hmm. He is.

So you may be over here. Don't worry. And that's what I love about him, man, that he's not, he's not sadistic. He's not trying to punish us or trying to kill us. He's just trying to prune us. You know what I'm saying? Yeah.

So that, that, my life is a completely faith journey. Yeah. I'm like, good God. I got faith for everything, but this whole spouse thing. I don't know what's happening in that. She's coming, Jay.

We're going to touch a degree right now. Listen, I ain't from touch the green with you, Crystal, because everybody's saying she's coming, man. Listen, listen, listen, I'm saying this. I'm gonna be it was she come or not I'm okay this and you know what I feel like when you get there she's gonna come I'm there now I'm me too I'm like Lord I'm good I'm good I'm happy I'm good so yeah that is so true I am good I am good I'm in my 40s thriving yeah no I'm in my 30s I'm in my 20s she's 25 I'm 32 yes y'all remember that 32 25 yes so you get my birthday next year

And you go, Jay, happy 33rd. There we go. Do not ask me what my birthday, what my number is. I'm telling you right now. It's 32. 32. But yeah, I'm at peace, man. I love it.

I'm at peace, man. I'm Robert Smith. This is Jacob Goldstein. And we used to host a show called Planet Money. And now we're back making this new podcast called Business History about the best ideas and people and businesses in history. And some of the worst people, horrible ideas and destructive companies. in the history of business.

Having a genius idea without a need for it is nothing. It's like not having it at all. It's a very simple, elegant lesson. Make something people want. First episode, how Southwest Airlines use cheap seats and free whiskey to fight its way into the airline business. The most Texas story ever. There's a lot of mavericks in that story.

We're going to have mavericks on the show. We're going to have plenty of robber barons. So many robber barons. And you know what? They're not all bad. And we'll talk about some of the classic great moments of famous business geniuses, along with some of the darker moments

that often get overlooked, like Thomas Edison and the electric chair. Listen to business history on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast. For 25 years, I've explored what it means to heal, not just for myself, but alongside others. I'm Mike De La Rocha.

This is Sacred Lessons, a space for reflection, growth, and collective healing. What do you tell men that are hurting right now? Everything's going to be okay on the other side, you know, just push through it. And, you know, ironically, the root of the word spirit is breath. Wow. Which is why one of the most revolutionary acts that we can do as peoples just breathe.

Next to the wound is their gifts. You can't even find your gifts unless you go through the wound. That's the hard thing. You think, well, I'm going to get my guess. I don't want to go through all that. You've got to go through the wounds your life. listening to other people's near-death experiences, and it's all they say. In conclusion, love is the answer.

Listen to Sacred Lessons as part of the My Cultura Podcast Network, available on the iHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast. If one of us wins, we all win. I'm Ashley Reifeld, and I'm the host of the women's skateboarding podcast. Good luck with that. Good luck with that is a skateboarding podcast that is part cultural record, part news brief, mostly group therapy, and a place to talk about the past, present, and future of women and gender expansive skateboarding.

This week, me and my co-host, Nora Vascenzelos, and Alex White, we have Fabiana Delfino on the show, a professional skateboarder from Florida, whose grit was forged in a family of athletes. Tune in to hear how she broke into the boys' club, what it takes to be pro, and why just being grateful you're here shouldn't be the price of entry. Maybe the industry thinks that we just started skating five years ago, because that's when they maybe started paying attention. It's a no-fluff conversation about putting in the years, stacking clips and receipts,

and still having to prove your worth while the industry catches up. You break down the door, sick, now, like, hold the door for everyone. We created good luck with that because we want to share our experience of existing in an industry that wasn't always built for everyone. So listen to good luck with that on iHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Hey, I'm Kelly, and some of you may know me as Laura Winslow, and I'm Telma, also known as Aunt Rachel. If those names ring a bell, then you probably are familiar with the show that we were both on back in the 90s called Family Matters. Kelly and I have done a lot of things and played a lot of roles over the years, but both of us are just so proud to have been part of Family Matters.

Did you know that we were one of the longest running sitcoms with the black cast? When we were making the show, there were so many moments filled the joy and laughter and cut up that I will never forget. Oh, girl, you got that right. The look that you all give me is so black. All black people know about the look. On each episode of Welcome to the Family, we'll share personal reflections about making the show. Yeah, we'll even bring in part of the cast and some other special guests to join in the fun and spill some tea. Listen to Welcome to the Family with Telma and Kelly on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

Hi, Dr. Lori Santos from the Happiness Lab here. It's the season of giving, which is why my podcast is partnering with Give Directly, a nonprofit that provides people in extreme poverty with the cash they need. This year, we're taking part in the Pods Fight Poverty campaign. And it's not just the Happiness Lab. Some of my favorite podcasters are also taking part. Think Jay Shetty from On Purpose, Dan Harris from 10% Happier, and Dave Desteno from How God Works, and more.

Our goal this year is to raise $1 million, which will help over 700 families in Rwanda living in extreme poverty. Here's how it works. You donate to give directly, and they put that cash directly into the hands of families in need, because those families know best what they need, whether it's buying livestock to fertilize their farm,

paying school fees, or starting a small business. With that support, families can invest in their future and build lasting change. So join me and your favorite podcasters in the Pots Fight Poverty campaign. Head to give directly.org slash happiness lab to learn more and make a contribution. And if you're a first-time donor, giving multiplier will even match your gift.

That's give directly.org slash happiness lab to donate. You have to be. I think that's important to find peace wherever you are in your life, you know, and then everything that's supposed to come become, yeah. I ain't, I'm saying, I ain't worried about nothing. Be anxious about nothing. Be anxious for nothing. That's it. Pray about everything. I got to go to bed, baby. We're looking good for 2532. Listen. And so I don't need no bags under my eyes. I got just a little gray specks. This is all my black hair.

So I got like one in my edge right here. I'll be pulling it out, though. No, you, that is. I got one look. They were like, is there a gray hair? I'm like, no. Like, you know, I, listen, I just got a little dash of salt in my beard. But other than that, this is, none of my hair up here is great.

Like, I may got a little. Okay. I'm not going to let these folk grade me out. I know, that's right. Listen, because they will. You saw I would have an Obama. That man came in with a full head. had a black hair and left out.

Hey. That stress will do it, man. It will do it. It's a real thing. It's a real thing. Speaking of stress and balance, you have a new book called Pursuing Pace. Oh, man.

It's all about the pace. People feel like this marathon is about sprinting, but that paces everything. Let's talk about that. So Pursuing Pace drops in 2027. I signed with Pinguine Random House. I'm so excited about this project. But this book came about.

in 2023 oh wow I was on the road touring you know pouring into men and I was sleep literally woke up in my bed set up in my bed and heard pursue pace and God was telling me to slow now not stop but slow now yeah pace doesn't mean you're going slow it means you have to find a rhythm yeah and so I'm excited for people I And pace is also, I created an acronym for it, it's the pathways to alleviating cognitive exhaustion. Most of us are exhausted cognitively and we cannot make health decisions.

Yeah. Because we're so tired. Burnout. For real. So in this book, man, I am talking about finding your pace. I'm talking about discovering rhythm. But then I'm also talking about not comparing your race to others.

You know what I mean? And I'm sharing stories. Again, going back to Bishop, Bishop was hard on me when I was on tour. He said, you better slow down. Because, man, I was just pouring and pouring and poured and poured and took sick. Wow.

And took sick. I was on stage and forgot everything. I was on stage, forgot everything and had a mental breakdown at home and checked myself into an institution in San Diego and that when it became real at that moment and went into the doctor and I've shared this especially brothers I'm 32 but I'm a for you brothers that are 35 plus and 40 plus yeah go to the doctor yes like brothers think just because women are aging and and again you know

I had the opportunity walk with my mother she's had a hysterectomy and and again I'm known son at the time caring for her, paramedopause, when it started happening. My bachelor's in science and anatomy and physiology, so I understood the reproductive system and helping her understand because there was this fear that she had, right, about going to the doctor and having their procedure. And so what is happening with the body is the body's changing hormonally. And men think that's just happening in women, but it's happening in us too, brothers. you know what I mean

when your testosterone level starts to lower and starts to dip you see men breast starts to protrude that's estrogen because our body's taking a change you know what I'm saying so what is happening is the woman estrogen levels are increasing

which is shifting her hormonally and if she doesn't have a good diet and she doesn't have a healthy environment because some things are environmental and then her body begins to shift So, you know, paramedopause is you don't have clarity of thought. How it works with men is your test levels drop. Your brothers, you might want to hear this.

Your soldier don't start to march. And he's not standing up. And when your soldier ain't standing up, he ain't marching. And guess what? You're going to fall into a depression. Yeah. Because your testosterone levels are low. Your testosterone levels are low.

You don't have the grit. So rather than working out or getting up to doing something yourself, you come home and hop right on the couch or you stroll. Yeah, yeah. You know what I mean? So my test, and again, I've interviewed my doctor on my show, Dr. Jill, phenomenal. I was picking up weight and I was working out. I was eating right and I was just like, man.

And then, like I got on stage and forgot. I was having this mental breakdown. I went in. I took sick because I developed vertigo from travel. Oh, my goodness. Got on stage to speak. And the whole sanctuary, I was in the church started. I had to go to my hotel room and lay now because that vertigo is something serious.

Yeah. I go in my doctor, she gives me something to help with it because I had fluid. I had double ear infection. Wow. Because I lost 45% of my hearing in my left ear as a kid, so I've always battled with ear infections. I am the worst. I go do a full blood panel, go through everything.

my blood pressure was high and I'm not a person who eat bad my cholesterol everything and Dr. Jill in that little chair scooted over to me she tapped me on his knee

because I was sick as a dog she said baby you're sick and your body's breaking down on you so the average man test level should be between 800 to 1,200 maximum output for young males is in your 20s and it starts to dip after 35

my test levels I'm not ashamed to say this because I got stopped touring and got in the gym and relieved the stress because touring is stressful and then I'm speaking into 400 500 600 men who never heard anything about mental health who's letting go with pain, trauma that they've been holding on And I'm taking all that end.

Mm-hmm. Yeah. My testosterone levels was 235. Wow. 235. You said between 800 and 12. They should be between 800 and 1,200. Wow.

235. Yeah. And she said, Jay, you got to change. Mm-hmm. I didn't take a speaking engagement for four months. Good for you. And I met my trainer, Brennis, out of Florida, when Joe went to Florida to pastor, and I said, bro, I need some help.

And this is a black man who understand aging. Brother looks phenomenal at 45, put me on some natural supplements, changed my eating habit because we can't eat the same thing as we're aging. We can't, yeah, even though we're 35. You know what I'm saying? Even though we're 25, 32. Yeah. Like, you used to eat a cookie.

18, wake up shredded. Listen. Now? Eating cooking a day. You ain't obey to get them pans tonight. Right. Where is the lie? No lies told.

So my thing, I had my PSA levels check, prostate cancer, all that brothers. Go get that stuff checked out, man. The average life expectancy of a black man is 61.5. That is so young. 12 years younger than our counterparts. White men life expectancy is 72.4-ish, I believe. They're living 12 years longer. Wow.

So mental health is physical health. Yeah. And pursuing pace came from that. Because Bishop said if you don't pace yourself, you're not going to make it. And that's where that book came from. So I'm breaking down what, exhaustion do I'm breaking down how to find pace how to be comfortable with pace because I think

that there's a level of patience that you have to exude in pace because sometimes when we're pacing ourselves we can feel like we're behind baby I ain't chasing nothing yeah if it don't have a flow I don't force it I believe like I believe in flowing not forcing so that pursuing pace man I'm so excited about this book like when we when we got on the call with random house pingham random house and they read the book proposal they was like j we need this book like yesterday right so when are we getting it 2027 that that's that was like we can't they was like they was like they wanted to push it out to 2026 but they was like 27 but I think the timing of it when it release it it's going to be perfect time yeah and you can't rush greatness like you got to take your time

with that kind of stuff because by that time Chris we would have been in this administration about two years people are going to need it Lord we're going to need it So we don't need it. Yes. But I'm excited about that book. But I share that to the brother's man. And now my level's like, I mean, like Brennan's man got me to eat and right. He moved my diet to keto.

And when I'm traveling, when I'm traveling, he was like keto, man. Did you get the keto flu? Like, you know how like people go keto? No, no. And their body like goes through this whole thing. Because when I did my blood work, my body responds better to fats. Okay. Like, it responds better to fats.

Avocados, nuts and stuff like that. My body responds better to it. And that man, like, because I'm like, I'm working out. And Dr. Jill said your body's in a fight or flight. Wow. Because when your stress levels are high, your body releases the hormone cortisol. So the cortisol makes you hold on to everything. So you can be doing hours of cardio, that body's like,

mm-hmm yep that's why releasing that stress because I had been holding all of those men's stories yeah and when I started releasing that thing detoxing because I had to learn how to not take it home and it was so bad because one of my friends came to my house I was just sitting on my floor crying she's like and she didn't even know what to say I was like man because I just was caring all these men yeah

And it was just so hard. But now I got my system. I get off stage, baby. It stays right there. Yeah. I had some come home with me one night. I had a, it was, it was a suicide spirit that a brother had on him. The spirits of folks would appreciate this.

I have a gun in my closet. The spirit was so strong. I had to go in my closet because when I come off the road, I go in my office and, you know, unpacked clothes. The gun was in the closet. I didn't want to go in the closet. The spirit was so strong.

And I was wrestling with it because the thoughts were so evasive. I mean, it was just like everywhere I turned. I was just hearing his voice. Man, I wouldn't grab that blessed oil. Come on. I said, listen, I don't know who you came off of. Right.

And I remember the brother, I can see the brother's face who was telling me that he came. to the tour that night and he was planning on taking his life that night and he came to the session that night just to see if what I was talking about work right so he gets relieved and it's jump on you because that's a real thing now that's a real thing that's a real thing so I'm wrestling I don't I'm like I called my mom and by the time I called her you know she was sleep so and I know to pray. So I'm like, man, I got that

blessed oil, man. By the time she called me, I said, baby, I'm good now. Because I couldn't sleep. I tried to lay down and, man, that thing was rassling. Man, and my place overlooked some water, man. I opened the door and it just allowed the air to come in. I said, listen,

I don't know where you came from. But Negro, you got to get up out of here. Because I got to go to bed. I got to go to bed, man. Yeah. And that thing broke. I adorned my door, my couch, my clothes people don't realize these spirits mental health is so much spiritual yes we often think yeah this stuff is spiritual you because you will see people uh coming in therapy i know in my

and when i was practicing and their entire face would change after the session because that thing would have been broken off of them yes yeah because when that spirit get around some oil or get around something that's going to break it off of them and not something that's going to perpetuate it and feed it. Yeah. And that's why it's hard for a lot of these people to break these emotional ties and these trauma bonds and these different ties that they have with people and experiences. It's because they're around or they're in an environment that's feeding it.

Yep. Because if you feed that monster? Listen, and you had to be very cognizant of what you're feeding. Because I'm telling you, they'll creep up. You'll be thinking, I'm good, I'm good. And he's like, whoa, where'd that come from? Yeah. And you just got to be like, die daily to the flesh.

Because they will pop up. They will pop up. And listen, let me tell you something. I can be around somebody right now, and I can quickly discern their spirit ain't right. And I ain't going to say nothing to you, nothing. I'm just going to go ahead and move around. You feel it.

Yeah, yeah. It's a disturbance. Okay. So remember when I said Do you feel like sometimes you can be around people You feel that distaste It's also you get that same feeling When people's spirit isn't right

It's literally like a Something just ain't right And I don't like it Yeah and I have to stay away for people like that I can't do it But you feel it Especially when you really tapped in with the Lord He's not even going to let them get too close to you

He's going to let you feel that you'd be like okay And then he's going to let your spirit Disarn it And as I say we all need to be operated with the level of sagacity just a sophisticated way of saying discernment but we have to operate with that man

absolutely because there are some people that the enemy is planting yeah because they know your assignment the devil know what guy wants you so he's like oh he really serious about the Lord

oh she really okay so she's taking this series now like I had her last year she was straddling I had her one foot in and one foot out oh but she for real now that's when he really be like let me see how serious you are and he will come at you listen he tried to sneak in yesterday i dropped my phone on my foot i said all right lord i heard you i said good lord he'll get your attention real quick barefoot too that thing hurt i said i got it but that devil's creepy listen got to get your attention real quick i said

I got it I got it I got it that would be knowing when you're serious I'm telling y'all man dude

God man and it was so I didn't have nothing in my hands I was literally just walking to the bathroom and the thought came and my phone went

bam that's high oh okay now that was too quick I was like got it it Don't you do that.

I'm like. Oh, man. Oh, man. Oh, my gosh, man. When I tell you, our lives are so parallel, man. Jeez. Oh, my gosh. It's so parallel.

No, seriously, it is. Man, because, oh. It's been, like, twin, where have you been? Like, I'm like, you too? It's like Spider-Man, like. Oh, man, I have really enjoyed our conversation. Man, this has been awesome, man. Thank you.

Thank you so much. Thank you. In closing, I have one last question. Jay, how are you feeling today? I'm feeling restored, man. Good. I'm feeling restored. I came here with my friend Crystal and we were able to bless the good people.

Hope something that was shared has inspired you, but I feel encouraged to meet a woman of your caliber that's on this beautiful journey of blessing people, inspired you. people, inspiring people, motivating them, all the things, but just to see a woman who's authentically herself in her vein and you're doing it with God. Yeah. Oh, man. That's so like, you know what I mean? That's so dope. And so I'm just, I just feel, you know, like I said, I feel like I can run on because,

you know, the past couple of weeks have been very challenging for me emotionally. And again, I'm not in a bad place. Right. But emotionally today, I feel like my tank has been filled. My cup has been filled. Just to have a conversation with someone who gets it. Absolutely. Same.

And I love that you feel that way because a lot of times you can, like, feel somebody else up and you feel depleted. But I feel full as well. So thank you. Oh, man. This is, we were equally pouring today. Yeah. Yeah. So this is great.

Amazing. All right. positive outcomes. We haven't done this in a while, so we thought this would be a great time to do it with Dr. Jay Barnett. We've got a doctor in the house, y'all. He can really give us some good advice. Tammy Coleman writes, have you ever denied your faith due to it possibly affecting your career or role? Your walk with Christ is very encouraging and touches a lot of people. Have you ever struggled with accepting a role or opportunity because it didn't align with your faith? Or have you wanted to bring faith in God into a character?

I was raised in holiness all my life. The struggle is real. Tammy, that is a great question. I've never denied my faith. I've always bring my faith into every character. Now, I have denied a role because it did not align with my faith. There are certain things I just won't do. You know, I have my hard lines in the sand where these are the places I won't cross.

One, because stuff lives out there forever. And now in the world of AI, they can take something and be like, wait, I didn't do that. And like, did you or did you not? You know, because it looks so real now. You can't really tell. So I'm very mindful and cognizant of the things that I will allow to be seen on my body on camera or the roles. I won't do anything demonic unless it is something that draws back to Christ. You know, like I won't play films like that unless it has to come back around and say that.

Because we do deal with those. Demons are real. Art imitation, man. Yes, it's life. Yeah. So, like, I want to be really careful with that. I don't do like horror stuff. I want everything I do

to have some type of redemptive story even certain roles on play I'm like okay like the movie I just did what lesson are people taking from this how are we changing lives yes this is something that really happens but the way it ends it just kind of leaves us like that was horrific

but what message are we going to give to them so we end up changing the ending but it's things like that like really having an input and saying hey when this thing goes black at the end and the credits role we want people to feel change. So I'm really big on that.

And also, yes, of course, bringing faith and God into a character. We just did this season nine of Sisters, DeVal, who plays Zach, was going through something and he had just lost a child on the show. And Fatima was trying everything. She tried to make his favorite tacos, and she tried to seduce him, like all the things. And then finally, she just looks up and she grabs the Bible and was like, this is what you need. You know, and those are the ways that we bring faith and God into the characters. But yeah, definitely.

But nothing is worth sacrificing or sabotaging my relationship with Christ over a role or anything. And that's something that I, even as I grow closer to God, just being, like, very aware of the roles that I take on. Because you're an actor as well, so you understand, like, sometimes, like, how you talk about we empty ourselves and bring on so we can live fully in that character. also understanding certain characters we just cannot take on because the soul doesn't know the difference my mind don't either you know because when you really start

like oh so you're crazy you know yeah yeah yeah man I'm Robert Smith and this is Jacob Goldstein and we used to host a show called Planet Money and now we're back making this new podcast called

business history about the best ideas and people and businesses in history and some of the worst people horrible ideas and destructive companies in the history of business. Having a genius idea without a need for it is nothing. It's like not having it at all. It's a very simple, elegant lesson.

Make something people want. First episode, how Southwest Airlines use cheap seats and free whiskey to fight its way into the airline business. The most Texas story ever. There's a lot of mavericks in that story. We're going to have mavericks on the show. We're going to have plenty of robber barons. So many robber barons.

And you know what? They're not all bad. And we'll talk about some of the classic great moments of famous business geniuses, along with some of the darker moments that often get overlooked. Like Thomas Edison and the electric chair. Listen to business history on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast. If one of us wins, we all win. I'm Ashley Reifeld, and I'm the host of the women's skateboarding podcast.

Good luck with that. Good luck with that is a skateboarding podcast that is part cultural record, part news brief, mostly group therapy and a place to talk about the past, present, and future of women and gender expansive skateboarding. This week, me and my co-host, Nora Vascenzelos and Alex White, we have Fabiana Delphino on the show, a professional skateboarder from Florida, whose grit was forged in a family of athletes. Tune in to hear how she broke into the boys' club, what it takes to be pro, and why just

being grateful you're here shouldn't be the price of entry. Maybe the industry thinks that we just started skating five years ago, because that's when they maybe started paying attention. It's a no-fluff conversation about putting in the years, stacking clips and receipts, and still having to prove your worth while the industry catches up. You break down the door, sick, now, like, hold the door for everyone. We created good luck with that because we want to share our experience of existing in an industry that wasn't always built for everyone.

So listen to good luck with that on iHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Hi, Dr. Lori Santos from the Happiness Lab here. It's the season of giving, which is why my podcast is partnering with Give Directly. a nonprofit that provides people in extreme poverty with the cash they need. This year, we're taking part in the Pods Fight Poverty campaign. And it's not just the Happiness Lab. Some of my favorite podcasters are also taking part. Think Jay Shetty from On Purpose, Dan Harris from 10% Happier,

and Dave Desteno from How God Works and more. Our goal this year is to raise $1 million, which will help over 700 families in Rwanda living in extreme poverty. Here's how it works. You donate to give drugs. directly, and they put that cash directly into the hands of families in need, because those families know best what they need, whether it's buying livestock to fertilize their farm, paying school fees, or starting a small business. With that support, families can invest in their future

and build lasting change. So join me and your favorite podcasters in the Pots Fight Poverty campaign. Head to give directly.org slash happiness lab to learn more and make a contribution. And if you're a first-time donor, giving multiplier will even match your gift. That's give directly.org slash happiness lab to donate. Hey, I'm Kelly, and some of you may know me as Laura Winslow. And I'm Telma, also known as Aunt Rachel. If those names ring a bell, then you probably are familiar with the show that we were both on back in the 90s called Family Matters. Kelly and I have done a lot of things and played a lot of roles over the years.

But both of us are just so proud to have been part of Family Matters. Did you know that we were one of the longest running sitcoms with the Blackcast? When we were making the show, there were so many moments filled the joy and laughter and cut up that I will never forget. Oh, girl, you got that right. The look that you all give me is so black. All black people know about the look. On each episode of Welcome to the Family, we'll share personal reflections about making the show. Yeah, we'll even bring in part of the cast and some other special guests to join in the fun and spill some tea.

Listen to Welcome to the Family with Telma and Kelly on the IHeart Radio, app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. For 25 years, I've explored what it means to heal, not just for myself, but alongside others. I'm Mike Delarocha. This is Sacred Lessons, a space for reflection, growth, and collective healing. What do you tell men that are hurting right now? Everything's going to be okay on the other side, you know, just push through it.

And, you know, ironically, the root of those. word spirit is breath. Wow. Which is why one of the most revolutionary acts that we can do as peoples just breathe. Next to the wound is their gifts. You can't even find your gifts unless you go through the wound. That's the hard thing. You think, well, I'm going to get my guess. I don't want to go through all that. You've got to go through the wounds you're laughing. Listening to other people's near-death experiences, and it's all they say. In conclusion, love is the answer. Listen to sacred lessons as part of the Maikutura podcast network, available on the iHeart radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast.

Anything you want to add to that? Yeah, I just, the film that I have coming out next year, Harry Hines, I play a, it's two roles. And so, one, I'm this loving husband who's trying to become a detective. But then it's an AI sci-fi film. And so, but on the other end, I don't know that my wife was a part of this team because they basically planned a chipping me to rehabilitate me. So when the character shifts back to who he really is, I'm basically this psychopath. Oh, wow.

That's interesting. So I took a lot of prayer, like, because, you know, I have a very, you know, gory scene of taking somebody's life. and he Cedar is I mean he's a killer and he enjoys it and man let me tell you I had to pray about two weeks after that after it yeah because you know it was intense during the process

and it's a great film by a Q and Cota team that I'm excited for people to see Harry Hines is his famous street in Dallas where prostitution drug anything you name it you can find on Harry Hines so yeah it is a great film but that is so real. And I took it because I wanted to be stretched, you know what I'm saying.

Same, yeah. In, in my space of acting. So, but I'm with you, man. Like, just certain things that I'm not going to do. You know what I'm saying? Yeah. I just, you know, demonic stuff. Like, I just, because when you think about, and like, when you think about Alia, right, I always think about her role in the queen of damn. Yep. And that was her last film. That was her last role. Yeah. And I'm not saying that, you know, I'm not, don't y'all take, I'm just saying, like, I would never forget that. Yeah.

And, and I remember, because I was a huge O'Lea fan. God, I was a huge of Leia fan. Four-page letter, man. Oh, my God. I used to do the beat on the lunchroom table. Man, listen, I could, listen, I would write, listen, I would write a four-page letter somebody, man, listen, right now. But, but that thought always come to me, Crystal, like, man. Because just that art imitation of life.

And it lives on, you know. It really does. Because I'll be thinking, what did you open the door to? That's real. What did you open the door to? Because we hear, we've heard so many actors say, like, I think Damson talked about it. Like, that kind of scared me.

I was like, you did what? Like, inviting so that you can invite. no. Yeah. Because now you need deliverance. Yeah. Yeah, you got to be real careful. I remember when I was,

when, when Cedaris was having a scene and the director, CJ, you know, they was asking me what I wanted to listen to. And I can remember being on set, we filmed like seven straight days,

14 hours days. And I was listening to Scarface the hands of a dead body. And I had to keep it on repeat to go into that because naturally that's not who you are yeah like you know what I'm saying to just walk up to some joker and just ha yeah like like and my poor mama boy she's like boy you always got me praying for something you're like mom I need your prayer on something else now oh my goodness

yeah so I like that's why I rock with you man because I respect what you represent and what you stand for because some people just like it's just whatever role and I'm like go ahead I'll do whatever I got, yeah, no. How can I serve the character? No. Uh-uh. No. Because like you said, we got to go home at night.

We have to go home and know. And some of these stuff go home with you. Yes. Ask Heath Ledger. Mm-hmm. Exactly. And we can't now. You know what I'm saying?

No, that's so true. God rest is so phenomenal actor. And he even talked about about that role, man. Yes. It stays with you. Yeah. And that's so true.

So, yeah, that's what I would. Tammy Coleman, thank you so much for writing in, but that was a great add-on. Who do you have? So, Wes, West said I had a mental breakdown five years ago during the pandemic. I didn't know what was happening to me. I sought therapy and was blessed to find two female therapists in the past five years. I have grown so much during that time, but I feel like something is still missing. Recently, I have been pondering if a male therapist would feel that missing piece,

not sure if it's the delivery or perspective I would like to hear your advice on the difference when it comes to male and female therapists that's good oh man west that's good for one I want to say I want to if you're a brother you know a man because again people names in Wes and

for one I commend you on going to therapy and seeking out help but I want to say if you feel that you're still missing something I think it may be an opportunity for you to explore what do you feel that you're missing as it pertains to the identity of the therapist because sometimes I've seen therapists

like most of my clients were at one point of time black females in the C-suite and they would come to me because a lot of times when they felt when they were with another female therapist they felt judge they often felt not heard and then sometimes it was triggering

to either a mother wound or a sister wound you know what I mean if they had any bad experience with some woman that you know what I do know so Wes it sounds like you may and maybe the delivery from a male sort of close some gaps from some experiences that you had with the male

or experience that you are looking to have have because I know my therapist now is a female who I love, and I think that she's also pouring and helping me heal a different piece, even in some other areas. You know what I mean? Yeah. So, and then when I first started, I had a male that spoke to the son in me. So maybe what you're looking for is for some gaps to be closed as it pertains to where you are, you know, in your life as a man, if that's, you know,

you know, what you're looking for. I love that. That's so good. And I think it goes back to what you said, how you said you weren't with the same therapists that you had before. Sometimes it's good to change as you evolve. So if I feel like you're right, if he is missing something, he needs to first identify what that is he's missing and then try to move from that. Yeah, absolutely. That's great. Thank you guys so much for writing in. Continue to do that. We look forward to hearing what you have to say and the questions you have to ask. Let the people know where we can find you on socials. If there's anything we need to

support you want, let us know if you have something coming up that we didn't touch on. No, listen, King Jay Barnett on Instagram, X, if y'all still use it, Facebook. Threads. But listen to my podcast, Just Healed with Dr. Jay on the same network as my friend Crystal, the Black Effect. It is an amazing podcast, and I talk about all things, healing, mental health. I mean, just an amazing space to dive deeper into conversations centered around mental health.

A new episode drops every Tuesday, and then you can watch visually on our Just Hill with Dr. Jay on YouTube page. Awesome. Amazing. We'll definitely tap in with you. Thank you so much. Yes, man. This has been great. Amazing.

My goodness. Wow. That was such a powerful conversation. And a reminder that healing doesn't mean perfection. It means being honest enough to start. Thank you guys so much for tuning into a. another episode of Keep It Positive, Sweetie. Make sure to subscribe, like, and leave a review,

and also share this with someone who could use a little positivity. In the meantime, in between time, keep it positive, sweeties. I'll see you guys next time. I'm Marcus Grant. And I'm Michael Florio, and together we host the NFL Fantasy Football Podcast. Ready to dominate your fantasy league this season? Then you need the NFL fantasy football podcast, your ultimate source for player news, draft tips, and winning strategies. Whether you're a rookie manager or a fantasy vet, we've got the insight to help you crush your opponents.

Listen to the NFL Fantasy Football podcast on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. I'm Robert Smith, and this is Jacob Goldstein, and we used to host a show called Planet Money. And now we're back making this new podcast called Beardttax. business history about the best ideas and people and businesses in history. And some of the worst people, horrible ideas and destructive companies in the history of business. First episode, how Southwest Airlines use cheap seats and free whiskey to fight its way into the airline is. The most Texas story ever. Listen to business history on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

Short on time, but big on true crime. On a recent episode of the podcast hunting for answers, I highlighted this. story of 19-year-old Lechay Dungey. But she never knocked on that door. She never made it inside. And that text message would be the last time anyone would ever hear from her. Listen to hunting for answers from the Black Effect Podcast Network on the Iheart radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast.

What are the cycles fathers passed down that sons are left to heal? What if being a man wasn't about holding it all together, but learning how to let go? This is a space where men speak truth and find the power to heal and transform. I'm Mike De La Rocha. Welcome to Sacred Lessons. Listen to Sacred Lessons on the IHart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast. Dr. Lari Santos from the Happiness Lab here. It's the season of giving, and this year my podcast, The Happiness Lab. is partnering with Give Directly, a nonprofit that provides people in extreme poverty

with the cash they need as part of the Pods Fight Poverty campaign. Our goal this year is to raise $1 million, which will bring over 700 families out of extreme poverty. Your donation will put cash directly in the hands of these families in need, and they'll get to decide how to use it, whether that's school transportation, purchasing livestock, or starting a business. Plus, if you're a first-time donor, your gift will be matched by giving multiplier. which means more money for those in need. Visit give directly.org slash happiness lab to learn more and to donate.

That's give directly.org slash happiness lab.