Keep it Positive, Sweetie - Real Life, Real Love, & The Truth In Between

Episode Date: April 14, 2026

Chrystal Renee welcomes KevOnStage to talk about how humor helps him tell the truth and cope in real life, especially through his one-man show “Grief Sucks,” inspired by losing his brother. He explains that comedy can help people hear hard things, “People can listen, are more open to listening if you’ve made them laugh”—and admits jokes are part of how he processes grief, even when it’s messy and too soon. Kev also gets real about boundaries and burnout (why he stopped meet-and-greets), parenting two very different sons, and what he’s learned in 22 years of marriage—like how you can “do hurt and harm with good intention,” and how marriage requires staying updated, “like being up to date on your cell phone.” Biggest takeaway: growth is ongoing, and Kev is choosing to be “unapologetically me,” even if everyone won’t like it.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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Listen to mostly human on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to your favorite shows. Calling all my sweeties to the forefront. I'm your host, Chris Renegger Hazel, and this is the Keep It Posit Sweetie Show. Welcome to Keep It Posit, Sweetie, the place where we heal, grow, and learn together. Today's guest is the comedian, creator, and storyteller who has built a show. his voice on truth, using humor to reflect real life in a way that resonates deeply with so many. I am so glad to be sitting with Kev on stage.

Kev on stage is known for his ability to take everyday moments, relationships, family, faith, and culture and turn them into something both humorous and honest. But beyond the laughter, he's also creating space for deeper conversations. From his series, Stay Space to his hit one-man show Grief Sucks, he's exploring what it looks like to navigate love, loss, growth in real time without pretending that you have to have it all figured out. Sweeties, please give a very warm welcome to my brother, Kev on stage. Praise the Lord, sweetie.

Praise the Lord. Don't you start. We're here in the room. We've been trying to make this happen for a long time. We have and you're finally here. I'm finally here. This is great. I'm so excited.

This is great. Thank you for having me. No, thank you. I know, I mean, you don't live in Atlanta, so thank you for traveling. I don't live in Atlanta. But when I come, I'd be like, man, I should live here. I'm telling you. It is so black.

Yes. Everything black, everything that's good about being black is here. It is. The creative, the culture, the community, regular black, it ain't just black people, southern charm. Traffic I could do without. You know? Traffic should go out to McDoneh, though.

Traffic should not go out to McDonough. It does. It didn't used to go out to McDonough. But they go out, McDonald's. done it now. It goes far. So that's the in low key, I've been telling people it's worse than L.A. here. You think so? I do.

Oh, I don't know, kids. I'm telling you. L.A. in the heart of the city, it makes sense. Yeah. Atlanta's traffic is further than the hardest. It's like everywhere. And then the little back roads ain't back road. Everybody over there. Everybody knows the background. You're behind that lake, so are we. Yep. I've been

using this for, you can't, ain't no tricks. Ain't no treat. You are right. So yes. You're absolutely right. I didn't think that. I feel like since 2020, it's It's gotten progressively worse. I come to Atlanta two or three five times a year over the last six, seven years. It's crazy. And I live in L.A.

I know bad traffic. Atlanta's worse. Dang, Atlanta. We got to get it together. Everybody moving here to chase their dream. Listen, and say that money. That monion. Man, Kemp, thank you so much for coming today.

I remember we first officially, when I had been a fan of yours before we actually met, but we met on the Shops, HVCU tour at TSU. Yes. Yes. And at that moment, I was like, man, he is who he is. Because you know sometimes you meet people, you've been a fan, but then you meet me like, ooh. He died.

Who he said he is? I really appreciate that compliment. Yes. I've been getting that compliment a lot and I work very hard to be who I am all the time. And that doesn't mean I'm perfect. Yeah. Like I, but I genuinely try to be consistent. Yeah.

You know what I mean? I don't have this like, because now, you know, we live in a world of all. authenticity, if you aren't who you are, they will, people will find out anyway. Yep. So it's not like we ain't wrestlers in the 80s and 90s. Right. There's too many stories, too many people we interact with that we don't know who knows them. Especially you and I, you'll be on set.

Somebody going to be on that set that knows somebody else that knows you. Exactly. So I don't, I don't do that. Yeah. I try not to do that. No, that is so good. And that's what I'm honest. I don't do meet and greets.

You don't do meet and greets? I don't do meet and greets, Crystal Renee Hayes. Really? You're missing out. I get them for years. So why did you stop? I'm going to tell you why I stopped. I'm going to tell you exactly why.

I realize I always love the people, but I can't keep up the energy to make their experience good if I've just done a show. You're right. It's hard. I tell people I've been doing this joke on stage. Imagine you just worked your full shift and then you're ready to go home, rub your feet together. And instead of doing that, you've got to shake 300 hands. and take 300 pictures. That's the perfect analogy.

You'd be like, man. And then doing it before a show, I'm like, I don't want to use all my energy up because the people pay to see me. You want to give them that. So I can't manage it. So I can only do meet if that's the event. Yeah.

Because I know, okay, for two hours, three hours, I can give you anything. But after a show, I just say that because I don't, I'm not perfect either. Right, same. About my job that I don't like. But that's really more because I don't want to disappoint people, not that I don't like people.

I love people. I wouldn't be where I am, but wouldn't be sitting here without the people. For sure. But I don't want them to be like, oh, man, he was kind of like, he was tired.

Because I'm humid. I am tired. And I likely flew overnight to do this. Like here, I took a red out last night. Wow. You sleeping on plane ain't real. It's not real.

It ain't real. I ain't got no private. I'm going to deal to with everybody else. Yep. So them seats, that ain't no bad. It is died. So I just wanted to,

I'm not. perfect, y'all. Don't do that to me. Nobody is perfect. But you know what? I think comedians are, in people's eyes somewhat don't have a, they think you don't have a bad day. Or they think that things it's like, they want you to be on all the time. What kind of pressure does that put on you when you feel like, man, like, I'm really

tired or I'm just having a day, but they want, make me laugh. I don't respond well to make me laugh. Or tell me a joke. I am not a clown. You don't see no red nose. Right. You come to see me work, I give you my show. Yeah. But people are often surprised. They'll be like, Liz, I bet you has you cracking up at home all the time.

No, not really. Because at home, I don't be like, now listen, tell me about a time. Saw it on the internet. It's like, I got to take the trash out, be the dog. We watch it Love Overbore. Like, I got to perform for her. Right, exactly, yeah. And she, you know, my kids, I ain't funny to them no more anyway.

You know, now Tony Baker. Oh, Tony Baker. We love Tony Baker. Patrick Cloud. But like, I imagine, you know, like, I take the approach that once I leave my house, I'm on. Yes. So if I try to have good energy with anybody I meet, but at home, I be at the house. It's a recharge.

I recharge. I enjoy my home. I enjoy my family. I enjoy just chilling, watching YouTube. I'm not, like, trying jokes out on my family. I mean, I'm funny, but I'm not, like, performative funny. Right. Exactly.

You know. I love that. I love that. when did you realize that you were funny? Very early. I remember very early and not only there by the house I was funny, I realized there was a benefit to being funny. And it was very simple.

After church, I must have been like five or six years old. I would mimic what happened in church that day. And my grandma, who was very stone-faced in church, was not like that at home. My grandma would be like, do Sister Daniel,

shout, cab, or what elder Washington do? And I realized when she let me do that, I would like, my bed at 8 o'clock. it's 8.15. She's like, if you do that thing, you can stay up. Oh, wow.

So I immediately knew I could do something that made people laugh, and there was a value to it. Yes. So I was like, oh, y'all, attention? Mm-hmm. This, I can do this. Yeah. So, and it's so interesting that I was just telling somebody this, I realized what I do

now is a version of what I did as a kid. Literally. Literally. Literally, I remember we used to have, like, talent shows when we would do, you know, people would sing or whatever. I mean, my brother would do, like, sketches in church. and we would mix, like, we did a David and Goliath sketch, and I was Goliath, he was David, even though he was my older brother.

And I did, like, we were like, we should do MC Hammer, can't touch this. And then you slingshot me. So I was like mixing hip-hop and R&B into church even at like seven. Like I was always aware of what was happening in the world and always current. And Hammer was like, it might have been 92, so I must have been nine. Yeah. 91, 92. Whatever Hammer was at his like apex.

Yes. So I realized that's what I do. now on the internet in my shows or whatever, it's like a version of that and I've just been thinking about how much God puts in people very young. Yes. Like, I just did, do you know Luke Tillman, he's a little kid,

he was on Jennifer Hudson show? Yes, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, I know exactly talking about. Oh, the fuck, like he does. He does preaching stuff. Yeah. Yeah. Yes. So we did American Idol invited us last night. Oh, I saw that, yes. And he was like the co-host. What? Crystal, there's a, we in a set

with, you know, you've been on movies like, three, four hundred, five hundred people we're live on American Idol. He's preaching on cue, praying on cue, singing on cue. He's like seven, eight years old. And I told my wife, I said, oh God, put that in him early. And thankfully for him,

his family is nurturing the gift. Because I think a lot of times our gift is there, but it's not always nurtured by our family. And sometimes it's not because they don't see it. Yeah. Sometimes they just can't. You know what I mean? But what a gift to have a family and a way to nurture your gift from seven, eight years.

There's a little kid on Instagram. He's like nine. He's a fashion designer, and his family has spent bread. Wow. And he's cutting dresses and style and stuff. And it's like, your gift is there. He's a prodigy, yeah. He's a prodigy.

But like how many, especially black people, we often aren't able to express that at a young age because we don't have access to the same resources and freedom. Even like auditions, you kid in Hollywood, your parents, I couldn't take Isaiah and them to audition everything. Why? Yeah. You got to get some of these now.

Yeah. Because I can't keep going up down a one-on-one. Right. You ain't booking gas is gas. I got to leave work, go school. Hey, man, you're just regular now. You just kid-kid school, ABC, one, two, three. Because I can't do it.

Brother, I can't be taking off work for you to, you maybe not going to get it. Right. And I love you. Yeah. But I need you to book one of these. Yes. Use them books because you're not book it. Exactly.

So, so. I just, I think my family didn't push my gift down. That's amazing. And I had a place to express it, which, you know, interestingly enough was a black church. Yeah. And my church was allowed us to be more than singers and musicians. Exactly. I was able to do acting and other stuff, in addition to singing to me.

So that was churchy before churchy. That was churchy before churchy. That's why churchy was so easy for me to create because that was like, that's shame. We hadn't done an episode. that wasn't directly from my life in somewhere or shape of form. Those characters are, Mother Jean is based on my grandma. And my grandma's name is Ruthie G. So like these people are just people, you know.

And we resonate. I feel like I was just talking to somebody. It's like it doesn't matter where you're from. There are certain parts of the black culture that everybody gets. Yes. And church is one. It is one of them. Yes, I totally agree with that.

You understand. You may have been there, you know. Yes, totally understand. I totally understand. You talked about as a parent nurturing the gifts. You're a father of two sons. How are you nurturing their gifts now? You know, I think it's so interesting.

I have two kids who are so different, you wouldn't think they're related. Really? So my oldest is, they're both creative, but they're in creative very different ways. My oldest is behind the camera. He used to do stop motion videos. Oh, cool. He'll spend hours animating, like, on his iPad. create storylines on

WWE. Like he's always creative writing. He acts too, but his interest is always behind the camera creating a story. My youngest has zero those interests. But when you put him in front of a microphone

or a camera, he just has something. He has some spark. I remember when they were very young and they were an awesome TV and we were getting paid $500 per sketch for me to write, direct, edit, produce,

and share the bread with them. Wow. My youngest would not be wanting to do it. My oldest had the work ethic. He's just like, yo, I'm gonna be on time, I'm gonna do my job whether I want or not. My youngest was like David Ruffin, like, I don't do, I ain't doing this today.

And I don't feel like it. And I remember telling the people that I'm not fend to deal with him. Like, I ain't going to do this. They were like, you are. Because when the camera gets on him, he just has something. I think, and he's super competitive in that way.

They're both athletic, but my youngest is very competitive. My oldest isn't. for my oldest, it's like animation subscriptions. Here's my camera. You can do stop motion. Here's how you do that. Here's how you edit. My youngest is like, we'll do a podcast.

We used to do a podcast together. He was like, let's do one episode. I was like, let's do six eight. Get a little season going and call the ads. He was like, no, let's just do one. But we shoot videos together sometimes. But I also don't put too much pressure on them at this age because I still want them to do it because they really love it.

It's not like a desire. I don't have the desire to like exploit them. I wish I did. I wish I had like that, you know, Matthew knows, Joe Jackson, you know, King Richard things. Now we need that. We need them daddies.

Them dad and them mamas. You're right. How are you getting the great? If you watch the Olympics, yeah. Them kids be like, I low key hated by parents. Yes. Because they made me do stuff I didn't want to do

because they saw greatness in me. We're too nice to the kids. You're right. Joe Jackson said, I got to, y'all got to work. Yeah. Michael and then was at work at an adult club at seven. You know, I'm like, oh, my son, I love you, mental health, mental hell.

Yeah. He ain't going to be Michael Jackson. He's not. Because I didn't push him and I didn't walk him. So, you know, that whooping is bad, but also Michael Jackson's bad album. Hello. Because the whoop it, it all works together. We ain't seen no level star with the loving gentle parent.

All I'm saying, we ain't love nobody into greatness yet. Listen. We've done cool, but we ain't love nobody. healthily into greatness because you've got to be a little crazy to reach them level you know you got to hate it jocx they're like I'm about to sing my life all because I hate you love ain't enough I got to hate you to get where I want to go literally that is so crazy because we talk about the work ethic that we have from our generation to now we're like guys they just like quit stuff and they're just like fly by night I'm like you got to stick to something you know you got to have

some discipline. For sure. And they don't have it. You know it's funny, every generation says that about the next generation. They said that about us and I'm like, y'all, that's not me. No, it's not. That might be my group. Yeah.

But it ain't. It ain't me. Right. I'm at work. But think about everybody, anybody working, everybody ain't working as hard as you. No. Even of your millennials. Yeah.

Everybody ain't working as hard as Sister C. Renee Hazley. Some people just turn it in. They ain't got no studio. You know? You do it all. So I think there's always standouts in. and average people in any generation. But I feel like...

Absolutely. We was definitely gonna'i and I live, though. For sure. Y'all didn't even let me explain. That's the thing that I don't mind whooping for wrong. Yeah. Like growing up. I got whooped when I was right.

And if you would have just let me explain, you would have seen it actually wasn't what you thought. And then my parents find out later, they ain't going to undo the whooping, and they ain't going to say sorry. You want something to eat? No, no. I want you to listen.

Okay? You have to feed me. If you would have just gave me three seconds, I could have told you what happened. But no, no, no. Right. Fussing that room. I got that little game you wanted. I wanted the apology.

Yeah. I'll take the game. I'll take the game. But I wanted the apology. But I wanted the apology. That is hilarious. At what point did you realize that humor wasn't just a way to like get through life with a way you actually process life?

Because I feel like you kind of, I watch you on your Instagram videos and you kind of talk things through in a humorous way. How do you do that? I think I realize all the way back to Middle Evil Times, the court jester was allowed to speak truth to power because it was laced with humor. Yes. People can listen, are more open to listening if you've made them laugh. They'll even let you get on them a little bit if you're making them. making them laugh. Yeah.

So I think comedy definitely has a place in speaking truth to power, right? Drusky does a good job of this. Yes. Like when he did the mega church pastors thing, there's people who are rightfully upset. Yeah. But at the same time, the argument, you can't argue that he's coming up with nothing out of nowhere. You're giving him something. We've seen these videos.

Yeah. I've seen Zipline pastor. I've seen Dior jacket. So he's able to make that video and then people are like, for like, well, let's talk about this because it didn't come out of thin air. It wouldn't ring true if it came out of thin air. Same thing with the conservative video that he did.

People are upset, but I remember some of those clips where he did it almost verbatim. Obviously, he's adding humor to it as well, but you think about George Carlin and Eddie Murphy, great comedians have always had the ability to speak truth to power, to speak to something

larger, and kind of cover it with honey through jokes. And I think my new Grease Suck show is that ability for grief. I think, you know, I had people die, but I never grieved the way I grieved when I lost my brother. And I started just making videos. I didn't have a desire or never thought I could even do stand-up about grief.

But every video I made, which I wasn't even necessarily being funny per se. I was just sharing what I was. I mean, it was funny, but it's not like funny ha-ha. It's more like, oh, my gosh, more relatable funny. Yes. But I would see the comments of like, oh, my God, thank you. I thought I was the only one. things like that.

And I think this new show is my way of helping people through grief and also helping myself through grief as well. Yeah. And I think to me, it's the best use of my comedy that I've done. Wow. I think it's the, I wouldn't say my comedy has ever helped people process before. I think I've made you laugh and made you forget about your problems, that type of stuff, which also has its place because the world sucks.

Basically. That's the next show. Yeah, the grief sucks. The world sucks. But, you know, we all sit in our driveway after a long day and we want something to just laugh at. I definitely can do that. But I think with this show, I'm able to help you process something that you're going through or you will go through. Like, that's the thing about grief.

If you're blessed to live a long life, grief is inevitable. Yeah. You won't live to 70 or 80 without losing someone or something you love. Even though grief isn't all death. Like, sometimes you grieve friendships. Yeah. People who are alive and healthy. and y'all just go separate ways like that's also grief for jobs you lost all kinds of things so I think

that's what humor is to me right now yeah but at the same time I'll always be able to just make people loud in that you create the show grief sucks um like you said death is something that we are all nobody can escape it right right in that moment how did you how did you handle that before it turned into humor the crazy thing it turned into humor instantly. Really? I just think it's the way I see the world. Like you were saying, it is how I process things. It's not the only way.

Yeah. But jokes come to me the way I imagine a fish naturally swims. It's like, I actually have to stop myself. You're like, I don't know if it might be too early. Right. Too soon. So I had a lot of internal things that I'm noticing, not even putting them in a place. But like, when I first, I kid you not, Crystal,

when I first saw my brother in the coffin for the first time, my initial thought was, this nigger really in here dad. No joke. Wow. I said, well, I can't say that. My grandma out here. Right.

And this ain't the place. But I'm like, this niggas, how do you get up? Right. Get out of these people's stuff. Right. Which is not funny, but like it is funny, you know. And I remember when I was calling the funeral home, I spoke to this lady.

for like 10 minutes, I said, hey, you know, because it's my first time planning a funeral. Yeah. I said, hey, you know, how do you get the body to? I actually said, my name is Kevin. My brother passed away. It's my first time. How do you get the body from the hospital to the morgue? And if he wants to get buried somewhere else, do you guys handle this? How do you, you know, who does an autopsy on the body?

Ask her all these questions. And she said, wait, are you the body? And I said, now Nancy, I don't say, the body, my brother's body. How can I be the body if I'm talking to you? If I'm the body that I'm talking about right now, Dad, you should start praying. Right now. Because I can, what that mean for you? Yes.

If the body's making his own plans, dead and a lot. So I made that video out of frustration, and it went crazy. People were like, I have struggled with that. I said, I expect people at funeral homes to be good at their job. Yeah. If you're at Chipotle, you forget my cheese. That's fine. Yeah.

If you don't know the person that dead is alive, It's a big problem. It's a big problem. So I think in that way, humor just is, it is my, it's part of my process. But it's not the only thing. I definitely cried and anger, frustration, all the other parts of grief. But I think humor is my mechanism for processing anything. Yeah.

I definitely have to like keep it at bay sometimes to make sure. Because a lot of comedy is timing. And sometimes you're too early, people like, hey, it ain't funny yet. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I wasn't ready. Exactly.

For sure. Grandma would have definitely like, right now. Give me a minute. Exactly. Oh, my goodness. Sold out shows. So griefs,

you've had, so how does that feel to come up with this? You know what's crazy? And then it's like, believe it or not, I am genuinely surprised every single time I show.

Well, that's good. I am like, because none of this is given. Right. And you got to stay relevant, stay interesting. We can't control the economy, gas prices, all these things.

And people's choices. I can't control the things in your life. So to convince enough people to spend $10, $30 just on a ticket, and I'm well aware that it's never just a ticket. It's ticket, parking, babysitter, maybe dinner. Sometimes you're flying or driving, so it's gas. Like a $30 ticket can cost you $400 or $500. Maybe you took off work early.

You got to get hair done. Yeah. Hair done. I got to get lined up. Yeah. You know, I'm bald. But it is genuinely surprising every time. For whatever reason, I always think I'm going to fall off.

Really? You know, I feel like that may be like a great place to kind of sit, though. So like it shows you like you're not in control. Like, so every time it's like, you know what you did that? That's a good point. I love that. I think we get too ahead of ourselves. Yeah, because it's not a given.

You know what I can come to it. Like Atlanta's the city I do. well and pretty much every time. But that, sometimes they jump us out early. Sometimes it's closer to the end. Yeah, sometimes the day of. You be like, okay. So it's always a fear of mine to, and I don't sell out every show.

And I make it pretty obvious when I'm doing poorly because it just is a part of it. It's part of the game. Yeah. But I am super grateful that people take their hard earned money and give it to me to make them laugh. Yeah. For a night. I don't take that for granted. It's really a blessing to me and a blessing to them in the sense of like entertainment.

But it's not, it's not guaranteed. You know, we see artists, musicians, athletes, artists, entertainers, canceling tours, canceling shows. Yes. Yes. That's devastating. It is. You know, it's like, what did I do? I ain't funny no more.

And it ain't. It could be a myriad of reasons. Maybe you ain't funny no more. Maybe you ain't connecting. But it's also going to be, man, I ain't got no job. Yeah. Child support up. Yeah.

Gas is up. Everything is up. You know what? Flights out of Atlanta crazy right now. Listen. What is happening down to Hartsville Jackson? If flights is out with a straight phase, Delta to L, $1,200. Yeah.

When? For the regular? Listen. $1,200 for regular seat. Those flights ate my whole budget up for this next business trip. I said, what? Listen, I have a production coming up next week. I had to cut back the amount of cast that I could fly

because I'm like, we budgeted $9.50 a flight. And that's a lot. That's a lot. That should be under every city in America for the most part. If you're out far enough, that should be under budget. Atlanta was like $12, $1,300 for main cabin seats. Crazy. I'm here in Atlanta by myself because I usually bring my team,

but it's like at those prices, I can't. I can't afford to do it. I got kids. I got kids. I'm going to have two kids in college. You know what my son said? What? My son ordered STK on Uber Eats.

STK. He said, STK. Oh, that's it. I said, can you order that from me? I said, oh, McDonald's. Jersey Mike, Chick-fil-A. Then he's going to say, I said, okay, man, because I was ordering it for myself. Yeah.

I said, how do you want your steak? He said medium rare. I said, media rare. Why? He was like, you know, the time it travels from there to here, it cooks up to how I like it. I said, I said, I've ordered this before. Hold up. The time it travels, how are you even thinking like that?

And he said, if I want to reheat it, then it'll be well. Yeah. I can't have well. I said, man, look at God. Want to do it? Because I never even thought to do that. Right. That never even got to pick dinner, really.

What's for dinner? That's not even a question I got to ask. Hamburger helper rice are only, shut up. It's one of the two going to be in there. Spaghetti from Thursday on Tuesday. That man said medium rare because it finishes cooking while it sits. Wow. Maybe that's a, that's a blessed God we serve.

What a mighty God. What a mighty God. What do you do it? Listen. And that's what you do it for us. so your son can order STK on Uber Eats. And the funny thing about it is, I said that story because they both go into college

and they want to stay at home. And they're like, bro. Probably feels good. You know what? I ain't going to hold you, Crystal. My son went on a retreat. My son goes to private Catholic school. And they went on like a little retreat

that was like Christianity-based. Like because it's a private Catholic school, you don't have to go, but it's like a tradition. And he was sharing with us when he came back. You know, we used to go to like little revivals, team retreats. We used to come back on fire for God. Like, I'm sorry, God.

I was kissing before. I'm not going to kiss no more. And I did a little hunching, but I ain't going to hunch at the last lock. And I did touch that girl butt, but she said I could because that was locking with a little bit of sin how I was raised. But after that retreat, that revival, that team revival, I came back on fire for God. I'm smoking tongues, God. I'm sorry for everything.

So it was like the Catholic version of that with no Holy Ghost in the sense that we had. And he gave us the greatest compliment. He was saying, like, you know, a lot of the kids were sharing, like, their parents are abusive or they, you know, drunk or not in their life. And he said when he said he never realized when it was his turn, he was like, hey, my parents are nice. They are at home. You know, and he was like, he didn't, like, he's like, I knew I had good parents. Yeah. But I never, because all these kids were holding all this.

their stuff in. It was like a real, like, they were all breaking down their walls and stuff. We had like a little ceremony where all the kids talked about it. They crying and stuff. It was crazy. And he was like, I didn't realize how much I appreciated you guys and how easy my life has been because of what you've done. And this ain't, you're not talking about money. He's talking about love, respect, treating him well, not being abusive. He's like, I don't, you guys never, yeah, I've never even heard you guys yell at each other. He's heard us argue. And I think there's a difference. A lot of times parents try not to have any conflict in front of kids. You have to teach them

how to do everything. Exactly. You have to teach them how to even have conflict safely. I've never cussed at Melissa. You never cussed at me. I ain't never threw no plate. I don't talk crazy to her. She'll talk crazy to me. But we have had discussions. Yes. Amen. In front of our kids because that's also modeling that behavior. It is. So that

was the best compliment. I was telling my son, I check with him a lot. Like, how we do it's parents? I don't want y'all to go therapy. And my oldest son said to be like two days ago, he's like, You never noticed how we always want to be at home. Wow. Giving the choice to do other things. Like, we come home.

We didn't go away to college. Even we'd be international. Like, we prefer home. He was like, that's the proof that you guys are doing a good job. So I think that. You went in your room and cry, didn't you? I was like, Will Smith, and the people were going to happen.

Because that's 18, 19 years of doing the right thing. You can't just do. Turn it in. Ain't no money going to fix that. Like kids with money, that money does not replace time. Like, I had to go to my son's games. Yes. Them soccer games. These last two seasons, them boys getting blown out on club.

Still there. We're paying $1,000 to go. I'll get smacked around in San Diego. Now I got to drive back. You sleep. Right. And musty. And I got to drive back windows down.

I can still spell you. Are your shoes on? Come on, bro. Let's just stop by this little marriott. Take you a little shower. Let's spend the night. And I was asking my son, I was like, he was like, have we went to enough games? He was like, you guys have been to games my whole life.

We're going away games. They're getting smacked around in soccer, volleyball. His teams have been losing a lot lately. But we being there clapping it up because money doesn't replace that. No. You can only earn that through time. And we have spent the time with our kids to earn. to earn their love and respect and all that type of stuff.

I think that might be one of the things I'm most proud of is like being a good father to them. But I can be honest, Christopher Day Hazlitt, sometimes I was a better father than a husband. And I was a better father at the expense of being a good husband without knowing. Yes. Because I didn't have my real dad in my life. Yeah. So I remember early on, like I'm going to rectify that. But what that unchecked, unchecked, I made my wife.

miss out on moments. Yeah. Right? Like, for example, I travel a lot for work. She doesn't travel that much. So when I travel for work, she stays at home,

they might go to the movies, but they don't do nothing crazy. I remember one time, this must have been like 10 years ago because I've learned. It took a long time, but I learned. Eight 10 years ago, she went out of town for something.

I immediately took the boys to Vegas. Father, son, Tripp, Mandalay Bay, just had a great weekend. And she's like, why would you? We could have did that on any weekend. Yes. And in my head, I'm not, I wasn't on purpose, like, excluding her.

Right. I was just doing things that I thought, I wish my dad had did for me. Got our kids a PlayStation, my son's a PlayStation. Yeah. Terrible cab with a good heart. We agreed to get him to a PlayStation. We'd go give them to them together. She's getting her hair done.

I can't wait. I said, surprise. Send her the video. I don't see no laughing emoji. no heart. Why would you do that before I got home? Because my real dad wasn't in my life. I didn't even know. It took

me going to therapy to realize and here's the other part. It's dangerous. If you don't think you're doing bad, you're not aware of what it looks like to other people. Unchecked, you can do hurt and harm with good intention. Yes. I just want to be a good

father, but I realize, oh, I'm stealing moments from you to make sure I have. I have them. And my therapist, I remember she was so good. I had a personal therapist and we had a couple's therapist. And she was like, there's nothing wrong with what you're doing. But if you're not doing it,

if you don't even know why you're doing it, you're trying to heal yourself. And your kids appreciate that, but you're doing that the expense of your wife. And I was like, oh, snap. But luckily for me, I was able to stop that 10, 12 years and 2. And it wasn't all the time. That was just like a little period.

It was like a little period. First 10 years, we were broke. ain't no joy. We're doing everything together because it's all free. Yes. Park, picnic, zoo, museum, ferry. We went on a boat, y'all. Yes, because it was free.

Yes. We went to Canada, y'all, and we came right back. You don't know that. It was a day trip. We took the pictures like it was a lot. We came right back home. Right. But there was a little period we were doing a little bit so I could do things.

And in that three to five year period, I did maybe five, ten things like that. And in my mind, I'm like, I'm doing a good job. And Melissa had to tell me, like, yo, you're, like, robbing me of these memories. It's unfair. And I'm like, ego-wise, I'm like, nigga, I'm great father. Right. And she was like, yeah, but I want to be a great mother. And more importantly, I would not do that to you.

Yeah. And I have not done that to you. And I actually have way more opportunities to do that because you're gone. Yeah. But I don't do you like that. And I was like, dang. So I say all that to say, like, it's so important to be. open to hearing from people because I could have went online and you know my wife tripping about this man

women could and I would have got the answer I was looking for yes but it wasn't the truth right because the truth is she was right and I was wrong yeah even trying to be right yeah I love that thank you I love that and I love you and Melissa um she was supposed to come today Melissa you know what this is part of the thing yeah she takes the weight of safety and comfort and comfortability so that I can do this because the boys, although 19 and 17, they want a parent around a lot.

Remember early touring, Melissa used to tour with me and we had like a babysitter and she would keep them for the weekend. I did this for a full year. The second year, my youngest was like, we had to go to therapy with him because it was like affecting him. And he was like, can at least one of you guys be home? And Melissa was like, I'm out. I am done.

I can't do it. I can't do this to this baby. So that's why I would say it's our dream. Because she is taking the weight of missing out on things like this because she wanted to come. But, you know, it's my son's senior year. He got soccer and driving and all that type of stuff. And also she just wants to be able to cook me.

meals so they're not ordering out. Even though we have access to those things, she wants to make sure they have like, because they'll be like, when y'all coming home, what time you'll be gone, you know what I'm saying? Like, they love a real nitty. You know what I'm saying? Even though my oldest wants to know for us to be home for him

to be out to three, four, five in the morning. But he wants us to be. Oh, Chris. I remember you talk about that. Oh, it ain't never enough. We go out of the family dinner and get home 1030. He's all right. See y'all later.

Where are you going? Stay home. Love us. But, uh, she. She takes those moments so that I can do this for myself, for us. And so the boys have some semblance of tradition, you know. She doesn't do it all the time, but she does it a lot of the time. So we're slowly easing out of that as they're both being college this fall.

And even though they'll be at home, it's like, okay, now. Y'all grown. Now, hey, you 18 and 20. Yes, Mama got to have a lot too. Mama got to go down and keep it positive. Come on. Because I'm going to be her armor bear when she comes down here. I know, that's right.

But I love traveling with her and she comes a lot. But she also has, and sometimes it's just like she has her own podcast. She has her own things to shoot. That's something else I had to learn, Crystal. Yeah, come on, talk about it. I low key. I wanted to kept a woman. I did not realize it because I didn't have enough money to keep her early.

She made more than me. I was kept. So I kept kept kept. I did not realize internally I always wanted a kept woman. But I did not marry a kept woman. I married a girl who was ambitious, independent, had her own money, had her own job, always. And I love those qualities. But low-key, I always, when I start getting little bread, I'm like, why you ain't got to work?

What you doing? Like a big kid. You have that little aerospace job like, I ain't got it. What you do what going to work? She liked her job. She was good at her job. She had work friends. She enjoyed her own thing.

Exactly. You know what I mean? She had those things. And I remember when she started her job. podcast way back with her home girl. I remember coming home off the road, I want her to be at the door, pot roast.

Because I'm a man. I don't went and sold out these three shows. I want steak and potatoes on the table when I get home. I came home this girl. Ain't no food. You like, I don't spell nothing but recording equipment hissing. She in the back room shooting her podcast.

I don't know. That's right. I said, well, I want potatoes. Where to me potatoes? realize your life is your life. My life is my life and then there's our life. I can't dominate your life and make you do everything that I want to do because then you have no life. Right. And it's unfair to impress my hope's dreams for you.

For sure. I have to work within what you want for your own life because you, you, you, we've committed ourselves to each other, but not our entire everything. Yeah. Like, you know, I don't, and resentment is one of the key tenants to divorce. Yes. Like, and resentment is small. It's in the back.

And it gnaws on you. It's like an erosion thing. It's like he gets to do his thing. I can't do my thing. I'm always with the kids. You hear it, Michelle Obama. Like, you always get little things like, you go to gym whenever you want. You know, things like that.

So I had to realize I'm trying to craft her into the perfect woman for me and not allowing her to be the woman who lives her own life. And that means sometimes she's not going to come with me. Sometimes she won't be at my show. I was holding her to a low-key, Crystal, and I'm talking a lot. I love it. Therapy made me realize I was trying to replace my childhood where my parents weren't there with my wife in my adult life.

Yes. Because low-key, Melissa, as my girlfriend went to more basketball games in my high school, last two years than anybody in my family did. my parents were at work or they just didn't come you know my my brother's sister at school doing their own thing but Melissa was in there yeah so I look into the crowd I'm seeing her in the stands so now I want you to be at every show and she's like I heard these jokes like I mean coming so much like she's like I don't want to always like yeah I got stuff to do you know what I'm saying so I had again in therapy I found out I said I'm putting an unfair weight

on you to be my mom and dad and my real dad you are fully realized adult who has her own idea of what that day should look like right so that sometimes means that she's not there so I appreciate her more when she is there and sometimes she has her own thing and I support her you know what I mean she gets booked to speak

or whatever I'll come I'll do her social media I'll be her armor bear I love but I can't be I can't require that for her for me for everything right and have her be happy yes exactly I love that. And I love that you all were able to communicate, even from parenting to relationship and what you need as individuals.

Yeah. That is so important. Yeah. 22 years married. It'll be 22 years in June. Yeah, 27 years total. Is that correct? Yeah, we started dating.

No, 26 years total. I'm sorry. Wow. And in that time, she's changed, and I've changed every two or three years. Let's talk about evolution. Oh my gosh. Because he was thinking, who are you now? Like, you're going to continue to evolve.

Think about it like who you were at 16, what you knew, what you thought you knew. Yeah. Right. That's when we started. Didn't know nothing. We didn't even know what we didn't know. They ain't paid a bill. I know how to be on my own.

Yeah, okay. Right. So at 16, living in her parents' house, no car, no job, full-time job, no responsibilities. college Melissa and these are just the big ones these aren't the small things I'm just talking about when I first met her

she just finished puberty two or three years prior I met her at 16 puberty what 12, 13 maybe up to 15 16 still growing not even as tall as she's supposed to be right 16 18 we're in college we get married after our junior year

of college wow so now this is married Melissa right who is a church girl who only knows purity culture and what her mom taught her and what her pastors in first place says she hasn't you know at that age we haven't had our own thoughts yeah these are just the thoughts that were impressed upon us then there's uh out of college melissa but married yeah right i was the first person she lived with that wasn't you know related to she was a virgin we got married first peen uh only peed amen

come amen shut out right now um um Now there's Melissa the mother, right? She gets pregnant. We're 23. Yeah. Now, the mother. Now, mind you, Melissa was a very career-oriented woman. I won't say that she didn't want kids because it wasn't bad, but her dreams were like,

I want to go Wall Street. I want to wear a pencil skirt. I have a briefcase. Like, I want to be a lawyer. I want to be a banker. Like, so now she's a mother. So now she's realized, oh, dang, my desires are changing. Yeah.

Now I desire to be a mother. Like, it's important for me to, you know, scrapbook, things like that. Yeah. So zero kids and one kids. big change one kid or two kids big change yeah her parents got divorced that had a tremendous impact yeah on us on her because you she idolized that relationship yeah so now if my parents got divorced that means anybody can get divorced right because we don't not my parents I'm my parents who both saved in the church they got divorced yeah easily Kevin I can get divorced yeah there that wasn't a

thought prior. Now that's a reality that it could. Yes. Then there's Kevin, the husband who I had always had a job, kept the job. That's one of the things she loved about me. Now Kevin wants to be something more don't really know how to do that. So I end up getting fired.

So now, wait, hold up, you fire? And then I'm telling her, low-key, I kind of want to do comedy for a living. Right. From Tacoma? That ain't even possible. Right. And it really wasn't, to her credit. I believe. I know that's right. So now, you got to stay-at-home husband.

Yeah. And with a huge ego that she was careful to manage, you know? Wow. Then I'm telling her I want to move to L.A. later. Then there's Melissa, the new family in L.A., with no breath. We both worked at Boeing part of that. When kids were in private school, there was eight kids in my son's school. They had iPads.

Like, we were killing it. Yeah. Both making $60 grand a year. To us, we over $100 grand as a household. Yeah. Broke boy, y'all? What I'm talking about? These planes, y'all?

We with the plane, people. We out here with the plane. Yeah. You feel me? I got a badge in to my job. You're just walking your job? You're a walker? I got a five.

I got a bad. Melissa had government clearance at her job. Security clearance. So that was a version. Fresh in L.A., no money. Married to a Dreamer. And it ain't clicking. Right.

Right now. I'm known people. owe me $25 for acting. I need that. Run it right now. I need that 25. You said Friday, which is Friday. I don't got no gas.

Where's the 25? Which is why you pay people on time today. This is why. I don't want nobody pat in their pockets for me. And here's the thing. I'm struggling. Because my company's growing. I always pay people on time because I was zelling them or cash-haping them.

My finance team, business manager is like, hey, man, you can't do that. No. But the thing is, they're growing, big company running payroll. Yep. There's things out of my control. Yeah. But if they go on TikTok, they're not going to say Kev's finance team transpose a number.

It's going to be Kev on stage, pay me. But that part's now out of my control. It is, yeah, because you're a business. Because now I'm a business. And I don't want to get audited. Yeah. You know, my finance manager was like, it's not a if you get audited. When?

It's win. Yeah. And what the penalty is going to be. So now I can't, like, my toes are like, this because this person's check is late because I remember 25 like I literally know my kids are like where's the we're on no pre-sons and I'm like that 25 supposed to be here today I was going to get the caprisons I had y'all but they didn't get me my 25 right you know and it was never that bad but it was close yeah like I need all my bread yes and still can be late nothing can be like so there's keb at that

point then there's keb at all death yeah and then there's a realization that when we started working together in this part of the pandemic, she enjoyed her job. When I worked at All Deaf and she worked at her aerospace company, we could come home and talk about our days. Yes. When we work together, we're having the same day. Nothing to talk about. There's, there's, so now we're like, hey, why we ain't really connecting?

Because we've been in the house all day. And that's just, you know, the pandemic exacerbates that to the end degree. Like, oh, Kev's not even on the road. Yeah. Why's he going in this office and closing the door and watching TV? And the boys are in their room watching TV. And we didn't realize. And she used to go get her hair done, get her nails done,

something like that. And she realized, oh, that was my me time. Now we don't have that. Yeah. Why do I feel weird that we're at home, but we don't feel like we're at home? So this, I say it's like I had a cell phone. I know you probably did for 20 years.

Think about the cell phone you had your first Nokia probably with the little snake. And think about the iPhone you have probably right now. Imagine if you went from that phone to that iPhone with nothing. in between. Wow. Yeah. And that's what happens in marriage. Yeah. Oh. You got every phone, every update, you got to learn this new, and just iPhone enough. Headphone jack. Oh, dang, I ain't got

that. Now I got to get AirPods. And I got to charge this. Now this thing used to not be there. But from the Nokia snake when we started dating to the iPhone 17. Yeah. If I wasn't up to date on every, and think about how little the changes feel at the time. It's just like, oh, dang, man. Yeah. I used to be, you used to

take pictures. They used to be grainy. Uh-huh. All that stuff. Now you can shoot there's a new app you can do a shot recorder I just saw that black on too man I saw that didn't exist yeah two weeks ago right so that's what I use it's as an example is like being married is like being up to date on your cell phone at all times reading the terms and conditions learning how to use it at all times you can't skip two or three phones you definitely can't skip five or ten years and a lot of times I think what happens people don't realize they haven't been paying attention and that's how I think you look at a person you recognize

I recognize the cell phone, but I actually don't know how to use it anymore. It's like this is not an Android disk. But one time I did a gig and they gave me a free Android, like a phone to use. And I couldn't, it's not that I couldn't use it, but it just felt so foreign because I haven't had an Android in years. And I was like, wow, this feels really uncomfortable. But this feels like a phone. I know what a phone looks like, but I can't. How do you call?

How do you text? Right. I said, I can't do that. And I imagine Android the iPhone is the same thing. I'm not dishing y'all. I don't dish no more because my Android app uses Bopold. They are serious. And they don't play.

But I feel like that's what happens in a relationship. It just starts to feel foreign even though it looks familiar. Yeah. Oh, I killed that. You did. Y'all give it a... Clip it. That was so good.

That's a whole teaser right there. But I think people say marriage is work. They think it means like hard. It's not that. It's just like, it's like guard. You got to go out there and till it and water it, protect it from the sun. You've got to nurture it. And that's the work.

It's not like breaking rocks. Right. But it's also you can't leave a garden unattended for weeks and months and expect it to bear good fruit. For sure. Good gardeners are out there every day, pulling bugs off, whatever it takes to make sure this is always bearing good fruit. And marriage is like a continual garden. It's like working out and eating right. You can't, if you stop working out and eating right, you can't, if you stop working out and eating right,

The work also stops. For sure. You start gaining back, it's the same thing. Yeah. And it's, but I, I enjoy the fruit of this work. Yeah. So I don't mind doing it. Because although it's hard and, you know, you know, tough, the benefits are amazing.

I can't imagine. I can't imagine trying to date right now. And what I see from people, it looks like the thriller music video. That's what, the way y'all talk, what people talk about. I mean, it seems scary out there. It's frightening. It's like zombie apocalypse. Like, I don't want to be out there with y'all.

Right. Like, I like it in my house. Yes, trust me. Stay where you at. Do not come out here. You're going to be running back. You're going to be. I'm sorry, baby.

I'm sorry. I'm coming home. No, seriously. Ken, this has been amazing. Thank you. Seriously. We've got to do this more often. Absolutely.

I'm so glad we got to do this. Yeah. Melissa for sure wants to come back. We'll be back in Atlanta two or three times in this month. Okay. I would love to have her on. The next time we can have her on. But thank you so much.

Absolutely. Also, let me give you your flowers while we're here. You are so talented as a person. You read that Bible on your Instagram store. You either really reading it or you spend so much time faking, you might as well have read. I read it, Amy. You read. You're so photogenic and fashion forward.

Thank you. I'd be like, your pose is. Ian, listen, look, and she'd be like, that Crystal Renee done it again. She went down to Paris and she did it again. But more importantly, your personality and your spirit is as warm as you come across on screen in person. Just like you said about me, it's true about you. Sometimes that is a facade.

Yeah. Sometimes the actor is acting all the other times. Right. And Crystal Renee is the character. But you have the same character from the moment I met you at TSU to BT when you thought I said you was eating hands. You were eating lamb. I said, how do you don't have?

You said, I said lamb. I said, oh, yeah. Then you had a lamb side. I said the leg. The precious lamb. But I love the community you built. I love this podcast. And I know that you created a space for women who need it.

People who need it. And your team has been amazing as well. Everybody was very kind. Love that. You're just great. Thank you. Thank you so much. I received it.

Thank you so much. Thank you. I said that means a lot coming from you. Thank you. Thank you. Before we leave, is there anything that our community can support you on? Yes. There's no dates that we got coming up.

There's no dates yet. Okay. But just follow me, Kevin on stage. Everything I can talk about or I want to tell you about, just follow me. I'll talk about it. But grief sucks, larger tour coming this summer into the fall. Okay. Watch me on 2B.

I've got some stuff on 2B that's out and some more will be coming out. soon. I don't know the date, so I don't want to, you know, just follow me. Yes. Keptv on stage. If you follow me, you'll, you'll, I'll be able to tell you. Okay. Awesome. Thank you so much. Before we get out of here, our theme for this season, we're leaning more into being unapologetic. So I want to know, what is Kev being unapologetic about in this season of his life? Ooh, that's a great question.

I am being unapologetically mean. And I think that means I am finally accepting that you might not like him. me or what I say and I'm okay with that because earlier in my life and earlier in my content career I was I was trying to make every single person happy and that was not an attainable thing so now I am realizing to be myself I have to accept that some people won't like that and they'll vocalize that and they'll thread about it and tweet about it and TikTok about it and also like at my level of awareness, it's advantageous for people to talk about me. Yeah.

Negatively, because your video or your thread or tweet or podcast, it will often do well. I don't like that. Yeah. I really hate that, but there's nothing I can do about that. And I certainly won't try to appease millions of people. Because that have millions of followers who actually like me. Yeah. Multiple millions of people who don't follow me and may not like me.

so I can't control all those variables. I think it comes from like a control. And as a comedian, if you have a thousand people laughing, but two not laughing, you focus on those two. You perform live. You want to hit everybody. Everybody. Why are you over here fall asleep?

Yes. I'm killing right now. And you just can't do that. And you'll be wrapping your brain trying to. So I be having to be quiet. And, you know, me and Melissa realized the other week, this phrase that we came up with, like, not saying anything is not the same as having nothing to say.

I often choose not to say something. Yes, that's good. Sometimes I just don't say anything because I know if I address a thing, it's just going to magnify it. You can't give everything energy. It don't mean I ain't see it. Don't mean I don't have thoughts. But my thoughts are for my family and friends.

And maybe sometimes even my actual audience who cares. Right. But I'm also not going to give negativity what they want, which is more visibility. They do. You're going to die on that. I'm not going to till that garden. Yes.

You're going to have to keep the hate train going. I ain't going to help you talk about me. Absolutely not. Yeah, I love it. Thank you very much. Thank you so much. You know, what stays with me from this conversation is a reminder that growth doesn't always look like clarity. Sometimes it looks like showing up honestly, even while you're still processing you.

Kev, I want to thank you for your honesty, your perspective, and willingness to hold both humor and heaviness at the same time. because sometimes healing isn't about having the right words. It's about being present, being real, and align yourself to keep going. Thank you so much for tuning in. Be sure to subscribe, share this episode with someone who needs it. And if you ever need advice, positivity or want to share what you're going through, email us at keep it positive outcomes at gmail.com. As always, stay blessed, stay encouraged, and keep it positive, sweetie.

I'll see you guys next time. This is an IHeart podcast. Guaranteed human