Keep it Positive, Sweetie - Rhymes & Reasoning with Rapsody

Episode Date: November 17, 2024

Crystal and Rapsody discuss the emcee’s creative evolution, her love languages, where sisterhood in hip-hop stands and the mystique behind the woman who’s heart and soul is found inside every verse and around each beat. 

Coming up on Keep It Positive, sweetie. My question was like, yo, what is my real purpose? Same thing, like, you know, with the talent and everything that I pour in to be the best that I could be, why aren't I, you know, put up here in the light? And then, you know, for me, the clarity was, you know, sometimes you're not supposed to be in the light because you are the light.

Yes. This episode is sponsored by Better Health. Hey, sweeties. There is so much stigma centered around therapy, whether stress, sadness, worries, or relationship issues. There's a shame that is attached with it when there really shouldn't be. I initially started therapy during the pandemic because this was the first time I actually got to sit with myself. With a hustle and bustle of life, we can suppress so much and often neglect getting the help that we need. When I first tried therapy, I didn't feel any mental clarity or that

it was working, but that was because I was not being honest with my therapist. Once I found the right licensed therapist for me and I was honest, my world completely changed. If you're like me and you know you need to talk to someone but don't know where to start, I have something for you and it's better help. It's convenient and easily accessible on your phone. All you have to do is download the app, sign up, and fill out the questionnaire. Within a few days, it pairs you with a licensed therapist. So what are you waiting for? Go to www.betterhelp.com forward slash Crystal. Let's all get better together with better help.

Hello, I'm Crystal Renee Hayslitt and this is Keep It Positive, sweetie. A safe space to heal, laugh, grow, and love. MC, creative, and a soul forever becoming. If you look at her bio on Instagram, that's how Rapsody identifies. With a style of her own and a flow draped in the essence of true hip hop,

Rapsody has evolved into one of the genre's most important voices. With 20 years in the hip hop game and lyrics that reached the soul, Rapsody has cemented her place atop hip hop game and lyrics that reached the soul, Rapson has cemented her place atop hip hop's most elite. I'm so grateful to spend some time with her today and talk to her about where she's come from and where she's going.

Raph, thank you so much for coming. I'm happy to be here. Listen, no, seriously, like I just had you write, y'all, she was my ghostwriter for the BET Cypher. So that was my first time getting to meet you. Been a huge fan. And then I got to come to one of your shows recently here in Atlanta.

I was so happy to see you. Girl, that was my first time seeing you live. I'm glad that was the first show because these other years I've been working my way up to that. It was so, I was just, I was literally blown away. I was just like this, cause you're so like chill, your demeanor is super chill, but when you hit that stage,

that other personality comes out, I was like, that's what my mom was asking me, like who was that? Right, right. Have you always been like so chill? Yeah, I grew up shy. Really?

Like, we used to have talent shows and my mom would always try to get me in it. I was Paula Abdul one time. You heard of the cat? I was the cat and I was supposed to not. Got on stage, I was like, absolutely not. But my mom, she's really into that. She's the youngest of 13 kids, so she's the fun one.

So every family reunion, she was Tina Turner. And I had to be her backup ground dancer. So we would watch Tina Turner, study the videos, the movements every year. And that's where I learned to really perform. She's the beginning of that for me. Wow. Show that, moms. I love that. I think I was in LA last night and the homies were like, yo, you are so confident. And I think because I'm going through this healing phase and I love myself more and I'm more secure in myself,

I can be more free on stage to allow people to see all parts of me. Wow, I wanna talk about that because I just recently went through a healing stage where I feel more comfortable in my own skin. I know who I am. Nobody can tell me who I am anymore. You know, a lot of times you're like,

well, who do you say I am? Like, okay, okay, this is cool. No, like I know what I like, what I don't like. What was that transition like for you in that healing phase? Yes, during the healing phase, man, you really have to sit with yourself and be honest with yourself, forgive yourself for some things, for not taking care of yourself,

for not speaking up for yourself. Because I think I had put myself in situations that left me in a bad place trying to be there for other people, trying to be that thing for other people. And you go home and mentally it's so much, you're not happy, you're carrying a lot. And you have to learn, I have to affirm myself. I can't let this world do it. I can't look for that validation. I can't be sad if I don't get a certain,

you know, let the ego part go. And I just had to learn to be happy with me. Whatever is for me is for me. I'm not trying to make y'all happy. I'm trying to make me happy. And I think once I understood that, it just fell into place. But it was a journey. Like, you know, it's not easy at all.

It's not, trust me. A lot of crying, a lot of solitude. Like, I didn't want to talk to nobody. It was during the pandemic, so. That was a rough time for everybody. Yeah. I didn't even turn the TV on. I hardly watch TV.

You know, like, one of my best friends, Bianca, loves you. She loves you. Shout out, B! I love her. She loves you. Shout out, B. I love her. She be like, you ain't seen Sisters? I said, Bianca, I haven't watched TV like that in four years. Like, I don't know what it is, but it's just like,

I just had, everything felt like fantasy, illusion, and you in the music industry. On top of that, yeah, it's a lot. You know, they tell you they think these things are real, but you realize that's not the reality of the world. So I was just sitting with a lot and shedding with a lot and I had to learn my own truth and reality. Yeah, wow.

I love that because so many times, I see you on stage, you wouldn't even know that you had to deal with something like that. And we all have our own journeys, things that we're trying to figure out, shit we're trying to work through. Like me, like I know myself, like people look like, she's got it all together. No, I don't.

And my brother can tell you, cause he helped me hold it together. Cause I would like, ah! You know, it's like those times and there's times where they don't understand when you're in the light and you're pushed out there so much,

you need those moments by yourself. Yeah. I want to ask you like, as your stardom and your star continued to rise, You're pushed out there so much. You need those moments by yourself. You have to. Yeah. I want to ask you, as your stardom and your star continued to rise, did that play a part in this is a lot, I need to figure this out? Did you feel that heaviness and that weight?

Not so much. I was talking about this earlier. I'm still, I don't feel like I'm that famous where it's that much pressure for me. I put more pressure. London Bay know who you are. You're worldwide. We can talk about it.

She's worldwide, okay? Day one, worldwide. She's so awful. But I can move around. Like, they was like, you came here by yourself? I was like, yeah, I travel by myself a lot. That's amazing. You know, and I think I put more pressure on myself

than anything because I feel like I have to check all these boxes off to be successful. And it's really not that. It's like I wake up and I get to do what I love every day. I'm happy. I'm at peace. I can eat. I like food.

Me too. The only one thing is I need more money because I like expensive clothes. You know, I try to go thrifted and all that, but I just have an attraction to expensive clothes. I try to go thrifted and all that, but I just have an attraction to expensive clothes. No, literally when I'm online shopping, I'm like, ooh, I love it. It's like $5,000. Of course it's $5,000. Why is my eye drawn to that? That is me. I'm just like, I don't need a big house. I don't need five cars. I just need a closet full of fly clothes and I'll be happy. So I had to learn those things.

You think, in my profession anyway, you got to get the Grammy, you need five BET Awards, you need that NAACP. And it's like, yo, you just got to touch people at the end of the day. And that's why this tour has been, I tell people it's my place of peace. Because in healing, it's not linear, right? I have my days where there was some days on this tour I did a lot of peace. Because in healing, it's not linear, right? Right. Like I had my days where there was some days on this tour, I did a lot of crying.

Really? Yeah, like frustrated, like, you know, just reverting back. And it was the shows, meet and greets, like, you know, people affirming you, like. Yeah. The stories I heard, you know, that can feel like, it could be weight, but I don't make it weight. Like one girl told me, she was like, you're the reason I'm still here today. Like, you know,

you go, we go in and I write through lived experiences and I look at the world, but we make this music and you never know where it's gonna go and how it's gonna affect people until you meet these people. That was just one story. Another lady was like, my baby was born with half a heart and the only way I was able to get through her surgeries was listen to your song, Faith. It was just so many things. Another guy, like my mom was murdered and you know, and it's just like, okay, none of that other stuff matters. It's great to be acknowledged for your work, but it's always the people. So I'm thankful for this tour

because it keeps me centered. Yes, yeah. Now I know exactly what you mean because I'm pretty new to this. To star in Celebrity, I spent about four years, but as an aspiring actor and wanting to just be at the top, I got caught up in that, dang, why hasn't our show gotten any awards?

And we're number one, you see the numbers, you know what I'm saying? I got caught up in wanting the accolades. And then I always wondered why Tyler never worried about that. Because you look back and you see all the people that you've touched, what are you really here for? What is the mission? And I was like, got it.

And I think for me, acting was a vessel to get the notoriety to do this. Because the amount of people that I reach on a more personal level, on a more level where it's like you saved my life or it's because of you that I'm still living. Like you, I don't look at it as a weight. It's a blessing and an honor to be able to tell my story

and be honest and transparent that I can help people. So I totally, I get it. Cause I was like that too. I was like, dang, why I ain't got this? And like the industry would make you feel like, oh, you ain't doing nothing. They will. And things have changed so much.

Like, it's just different. You know, everything is about numbers and that can be the illusion of it. It's not so much about talent and the image of things. So, you know, when that changes, we have to change with it. You know, what we look at, but the people are all, they're gonna keep us here forever. They will.

Like I was telling somebody, I took my mushroom. No, they're might listen loud. Like that was my, that was my, you know, they say, ask us, there's a question that you want to have answered. You may have your answer when you have that type of clarity. Wow. And my question was like, yo, what is my real purpose? Same thing.

Like, you know, with the talent and everything that I pour in to be the best that I could be, why aren't I, you know, with the talent and everything that I pour in to be the best that I could be, why aren't I, you know, put up here in the light? And then, you know, for me, the clarity was, you know, sometimes you're not supposed to be in the light because you are the light. You know what I'm saying? Yes, you are. And I was with my homeboy, Nico Brim, who's my artist, and he was like, yo, rap, you gotta

understand. He talks to me. He was like, you know, like, you don't know, like, how much many people look at you. He's like, it's like, you on an unbeaten path, you just got a machete, and you just shoom, shoom, shoom, so we can walk behind you. And I was like, damn, I appreciate that perspective.

And I was, and I, you know, I thought I was like, but so many people have cleared the path for me, and I had to think, like, but it's been intended to. Yes. So yeah, the weeds have grown up. Yes. And now you have to go in and be that. And you know, that was, that was my clarity.

Wow. I love that. That is beautiful. Navigate. I did music too. I'm working on some music now, but when I first moved to Atlanta, I was working on music and as a woman in the industry, it was really hard for me because it's such a male-dominated industry.

And when you're doing it by yourself, I was really just working relationships, trying to figure it out. What has been your path working in this industry? I can say my husband blessed. I've heard some horror stories. And industry can get a bad rap. I don't think everybody's experience is like that. I'm not saying mine was all good.

You know, anything you want to have is gonna be challenging. Absolutely. But I came up under 9th Wonder Young Guru. Wow. And I can say in the early stages of my career, the men really looked out for me. You know, they were the first two that saw my talent,

that poured into me, that told me I could do it. Because being from where I'm from, a small town in Snow Hill, North Carolina, for me, I never had exposure to that type of success to be able to think. I never had anybody I could look to and touch. You know what I'm saying? I was like, I wanna do that, but I have no idea how.

So they were the first ones, but they protected me. The first thing they sat down and told me was, before you do anything in this industry, before you get in the booth and record a song, I want you to define your line, the line you will not cross, you will not lose yourself over. They made me do that before anything. So I had to sit and know who I was first.

And a lot of artists asked me for advice. I said, before you do anything, you have to ask yourself, who am I? What do I want to do in this business? That'll answer all the questions of how you move from here on out. And we just moved with intention like that, organic, authentic, everything that we had,

like it was all organic relationships, like just building with people. I got nothing easy. I had to earn every bit I had. I wouldn't want it any other way. No. Anything easy, you lose it easy. Yeah, I appreciate it.

And I say that. And you know, there are some challenges. As a woman, I had to work 10 times harder. Coming up in the era that I did, it was early 2000s, so it was like, the late 90s, early 2000s, a woman image in hip hop changed. And so it was like, finding our way back into that. And I felt like I had such a hard fight with that. It wasn't about the sexual image to me, it was all about the talent.

I didn't have a strong sisterhood village at that time. I'm so excited to see so many women now and to see their friends. I think that's so dope. I didn't get that experience. So the guys, Kendrick held me down. Big K.R.I.T. held me down, Maciella held me down, Nipsey held me down. The guys really looked out for me. So, you know, but otherwise it was just really hustle. I just put my head down. I don't know.

I just, I wouldn't take no for an answer, you know? And you know, it was like, I've been called everything ugly. I was chunky and you fat, you'll never make it. Nobody wants to hear that. You're boring. You know, it's too black. Like it was just thing after thing after thing. And a lot of it from the early beginnings

was from black women. And that, you know, I remember that that was probably the hardest way that I had to carry. Like, but you know, you fly in your village. Yeah. Yeah. And this season is so beautiful. I can see it on you.

Your energy is just so like, like what you said, you're looking for the light, but you are the light. And I see that in you. And I love that you found that peace and happiness in this season. Thank you. You said something about sister circles in the industry. Have you found like your sister circle in the industry now?

Or you still with the boys? I mean, I'm always with the boys. Nah, it's, I grew up with boys all my life. Like I'm from a big family. My mom is one of 13, but all my cousins around my age were boys. So that's what I was used to, comfortable with. But as you know, you grow up and you really experience life and you realize it's

not till you find your sisterhood village, I have like four or five really, really close best friends. And I was like, I understand the importance of having sisterhood now because the way we show up for each other and the way that we see each other and understand what we go through, I can't really have with guys. And they have been my rock, but in the industry, like I have a beautiful village, Radiga, Queen Latifah, MC Lyte, Erika Badu, like the last two or three years we built a beautiful friendship. She's one of my best friends. I love her to death. Sanaa Latham, you are now in my village. Of course. Bianca, Sherri Bryant. And even like the girls, Lady London. I love her too.

Tierra Whack. I talked to her. So talented. Yeah. I'm so happy. That's amazing. Do you guys talk to each other about like your struggles in the industry or like what you may be battling in this certain season? Especially like the women like in the industry that you are cool with.

Yeah, Lighten has given me advice sometimes. That's dope. Bia has hit me before asking for advice. I've given her advice. Yeah, I love that. We have our moments. That. Yeah, I love that. That's dope. I love that. It's important to me because I know how it feels to not have that experience. So I try to, for me anyway, I extend myself to everybody. But Queen Latifah has taken me under her wing and given me advice. Like Badu has always given me advice. You know, my sit, I didn't sit down like this with her and talk for maybe just 20 minutes. And she dropped so many jewels. Like it was past music. It was just life, love,

relationships. So yeah. Do you ever just sit back and when you're like thinking about the names you just named, like these are people that are so in into me. Do you ever be like, are people that are so into me. They're like wow these are like icons that we grew up to and now this is your life like isn't that crazy? It's so crazy it's like it's twofold right I definitely look at that I'll be like yo me and Bia are really cool but I'm like at the end of the day they just like me too you know and I'll have people um hit me and they're like yo we kind of meet and greet I don't know what to say to you. And I'm just like, you just being so, I'm the home girl, right? And I think like, they want the same thing.

And it is crazy because like, I grew up being inspired by these women. Mama's good. Listen. Listen. When I started rapping, Time's a Wasting was like my soundtrack. Yeah.

Rap don't waste your time every day. Yes. Like Lauren, I don't have a deep relationship, but I'm able to email her. Yeah. There's like those things. Yeah. But yeah, MC Lyte, MC Lyte calls me the most.

Oh. Rappity rap. I'm just checking on you. Where you at? Like, it's just so dope. That's beautiful. And it warrants my heart to hear that. Cause a lot of times I feel like in our culture,

especially in our society, we don't see that in the black community. Yeah. Just like how you said, when you were hearing these comments, it was mainly from women that look like you. And like, so it feels really good to know that like we checking on each other,

doing those check-ins, this is important. It's so important. Yeah, because they can see you on stage and not know you hurting when you go into the dressing room. Boys, I'm trying to tell you some days, I'll be like, they knew how I started my day. Baby, oh, I had a moment like that.

A few seasons ago, it was an episode with Eve and Marcel, and I was in my closet, just like trying to cry and trying to get it together, and got on the sofa, and I literally was like, she said something, and I just lost it. And I was like, if you knew what I was going through before I wiped those tears off, and like, hey, you would be like, what?

You know, and they don't see that. They don't, so it's always good to have good people to check on you. Check on your strong friends. I know people hear that and things cliche, but seriously, check on your strong friends. And it could be just as simple as just sending a note. Like I'll just randomly text somebody,

like create a great day, breathe easy. Ooh, I love that. Badu sent me one day at random, like, I declare, and she had like 12 things to declare that day, and I was just like, dope, I saved it. So it's just things like that. But we gotta get back to community. We've gotten so far away from community,

and that's what we were built on, like looking out for each other, making sure. You heard of, I'm about to be random. You heard of this term called Ikigai? So it's based on this small island in Japan where the oldest people live. And it's like, well, why do they live so long? And they practice this thing called Ikigai

and it's living within your purpose, right? And so the whole community, they walk a lot every day. They eat like a lot of rice. They only eat to 80% full, but I thought it was so dope that if someone in the village, and everybody has to get a job in their purpose that makes them happy. You have to do things that make you happy and enjoy.

But if somebody loses their job, they're about having no stress in life. So the community take care of that person until they get back on their feet. Wow. And I just think about like, if we all operated from that place, like, I don't know. I like that.

Yeah. That is, maybe you should like kind of create like a space for that. That could be cool. That'd be dope, yeah. Just to get people's minds in that space. Like, you know what? Yeah, we should like continue to support each other

and help each other. I love that. I recently went to Costa Rica, one of the five blue zones where people live the longest. And I feel like it's probably like one, cause there is one I feel like in Japan as well. That may be the place. Yeah, cause where I went to the people,

they grew their own food. They hiked every morning and like they did the cold plunges in the natural river, did the hot plunge in the natural river, they had different spaces, but these people lived to be over 100 years, and even cooking for their families was a way to show love and to exercise. Same as the Saint?

Yeah. We cracked the code. Yeah, right. We so far gone in America, it's the same? Yeah. We cracked the code. Yeah, right. We so far gone in America, it's like, but I want Chick-fil-A. No. Seriously. Now you told me earlier that you are now vegan.

Yeah. And I told you, speaking on about longevity, I told you about my vegan journey. Inspired. Don't do what I did. So when I was vegan, I was vegan for about Inspiring. Don't do what I did. So when I was vegan, I was vegan for about two years. Shout out Luke James. He actually inspired me to go vegan a few years ago.

This is probably like, maybe was it five years ago, Keith? Around five years ago. I did it for two years. What did he do that inspired you? He was vegan. This is when he was filming Star and I did a Thanksgiving, like a friend's giving, but he was like, I'm vegan. I was like, great.

So now I gotta figure out vegan Thanksgiving as well as the normal Southern Thanksgiving. So I did it and I tried and I was like, oh, this isn't half bad. I was like, I could do this. If I could still have what tastes like what I want. So they had like vegan turkey, vegan mac and cheese, the sweet potato casserole, all the things.

I was like, okay. Even the stuffing didn't have milk in it, so it worked. So I was like, I could do this. So I stuck with it. My cramps and everything went away, because I had like really bad cramps for my menstrual. And I was like, I can do this until they ordered them J.R. Cricket wings.

J.R. Cricket! Cricket! That's the way, I was with the wing that broke you, the J.R. Cricket! Baby, J.R. Cricket broke me down. Honey, I was like, just give me one of them wings that broke you and the JR Creeper. Baby, JR Creeper broke me down. Honey, I was like, just give me one of them wings. I was scratching like a little cracker. I was like, give me one of them wings.

So I would chew the wing and spit it out just so I could taste. I felt bad at you. Girl, they were amazing. You're a fake vegan. I'm a flexitarian. I ain't swallowing it. That's why it did not go in my body with them juices. I got it.

I got that fix I needed. I just got to get my cravings. I'll tell you, it was like, they make, but every time I'm like, oh yeah, I went vegan as somebody who was around that time. They were like, she was not vegan. She was eating chicken and spitting it out. I was like, it was.

Well, I ain't technically eat it, I chewed it. I chewed it. What actually inspired you to go vegan? I'm always interested. I love the chicken test because I felt like, you know Grand Lux Cafe out here? Yes. They have this bourbon chicken.

It's got like this sauce on it with the corn in it. One day I stared at it on DoorDash for 30 minutes. I was like, is today going gonna be the day that I break? Cause I could just taste it in my mouth. What inspired me, I was in the studio session with Amanda Ryfer and she and her manager were talking about a cleanse that they did. And they were like, yo rap, like, you know, we lost weight

but they were like, we had the most energy we ever had. Like we felt this state of euphoria Wow, and I was like I want to feel that yeah I don't know what that feels like and I had been like wanting to go bigger for a while, but I was like, oh Yeah, I don't know how to get there. So I was like, okay before tour I'm gonna do this cleanse You know, so it was it was it's a pretty intense cleanse, 21 days. And I just started it one day and it was, I had the most energy because I have Graves disease. So my metabolism

is low and when I travel a lot, I could miss pills. So I would go home and I could nap four or five times a day. It was like, I could never get enough sleep. So I would go home and I could nap four or five times a day. It was like I could never get enough sleep. So I started this cleanse and I had the most energy I've ever had in a long time. I would lay down and at least try to take one nap. I couldn't nap so I'd get back up. It was like I had restless leg. I just always wanted to be moving.

I would go to the gym and he'd be like, you only doing juices this week? He's like, yeah, it was gonna go light. I was like, no, I'm good. So I was asking him to do more in the gym than normal. So I just felt really good. I reached a state of clarity, euphoria. My skin looked good.

And I had been telling myself, I wanna get to the point where I don't have to wear makeup if I don't want to because my skin looks good enough. And yeah, I just felt good. So once I finished it, I was just like, I don't have an urge to go back. And I just, I haven't gone back. Wow.

I'm proud of you. That's good. Food has been tasting good. Now, do you ever have like, because for me, I was raw vegan for a while too. And I would tell my friend, oh, come try this. And it'd be like tacos, but it was like ground walnuts with some cumin and stuff.

And I'm like, oh my God, it tastes just like tacos. It did not. You had to trick yourself. I was tricking myself. My friend was like, it does not taste like a taco. I know what a taco tastes like. I'm like, girl, it tastes just like it. Like psyching myself out.

It might have tasted, because to us, it's good. Bob, yeah, dude. I tried to get my mom to stop drinking certain types of water. I'd be like, try this Mountain Valley. She'd be like, I don't like it. I was like, you used to them toxins in your water. That's why. In your water, a little taste.

Right. Sound like that. That is funny. She would mess with the water. No, no, not at all. Like she makes, like that's one of our friends who was around when I was eating chicken as a vegan. She was like, she was like,

then she would come in there and be like, oh, taste this. And she's like, it did not taste in there and be like, oh, taste this. And she's like, it did not taste nothing like what it was supposed to taste like. Oh my God. Girl, I did though, it was good. It was like, like you, I had so much energy. I felt really good.

I was probably in the best shape of my life. I go back and look at that 2019 body. Yeah. I might need, yeah. So right now I'm doing plant based pescatarian. Okay. Trying to like wean myself. I just couldn't quit everything. Yeah. So I stopped the chicken. I stopped the steak because I love steak too. That's my problem. I love a good steak. So I cut that out and that like within probably like two weeks I've already I was I got them like 20 weeks, I've already, I was, I had gotten up to like 205,

I'm down to 195. Thank you, thank you. And I feel good. I'm like, okay. Cause I went to the doctor like two weeks ago to get blood taken, just check everything. And she called me today and she's like, your blood sugar level is pre-diabetic.

I said, wait, wait. How we get there? How, what? And I don't even eat sweets. Like I'm not really a sweet person. I was, wait, wait. How we get there? How, what? And I don't even eat sweets. Like, I'm not really a sweet person. I was like, she's like, no, it's like, she said, she's not gonna put you on anything because your lifestyle, you got a chef, you're eating better,

ain't you working out? But she said, we gotta monitor this. And my father, he was diabetic. And now he's like down to one pill. He gets up every morning at like 5 a.m. and works out. He doesn't eat as much. Yeah, like he's like down to one pill. He gets up every morning at like 5 a.m. and works out. He doesn't eat as much. Yeah, like he's like, Dad is 72. And like really like, I'm so proud of him.

Cause I was like, Dad, I want you here. You know, I was like, we made it. You know what I'm saying? That you got to experience all these amazing things, but you're not going to do that if you start, if you keep eating and living the way you live in. And when I tell you, he turned that thing around, he's like, now I'm down to just one pill a day.

I'm like, what? He can do so much for just changing our diet. I let you know how bad our food is. My dad is diabetic too. That runs on his side of the family. So it was something too. But I remember before I went vegan, I would be in the gym working out

and I'd get down to like 145. I'd be like, yes. And then, you know, traveling two months, I'm back at 173. Easy, traveling is so hard. You know, cause I don't know how to do hair, so. Okay, and I love, can I have the sidebar? I love your like long bob, I've never even seen that.

And at the show, it's like, is her hair cut in the back? I thought it was just like pulled all to the front. She was like, no, it's a bob, I said, that's fire. I love your hair. I tried to meet some hill doing that one. Oh, I look all dope. Yeah, that's fire. On tour, I'm like, these tracks are hanging on by thread.

That's why I keep something on my hair wrapped up because I've lost a track on the show before. You just got to roll with it. Like in school days, who's it then? That's funny. You know, so it's just, I forgot where I was. I just had to tell you about your hair is so dope. But you're trying to keep up on the road with eating. So I'm like, I can't go to the gym. I have to sweat my hair out, da da da da. Food, you want something quick and it's late.

And especially I have Graves' disease. My metabolism is already slow. Can you tell us exactly what Graves' disease is? I've heard of it, but I'm not really educated on it. I have it. Missy Elliott has it. It's an autoimmune disease. Your thyroid is a butterfly-shaped organ that sits right over it.

I just learned about the shape of it. My doctor just told me that when she was going through things, she's like, yeah, a butterfly is kind of like a bow tie kind of thing. Yeah, it's like a bow tie. And it creates a hormone. It's like the thermostat for your body controls your body temperature, your metabolism, your mind sometimes. Like it's a lot of part of the human body that it affects.

So I got diagnosed in 2009. I was hyper. So I was creating too much of a certain hormone. My metabolism shot up. I could eat anything and I was still like 110. What? Yeah. I could eat anything and I was still like 110. What? Yeah, I had gotten down to 110.

I hadn't been 110 since I was 14 years old. Oh my gosh. My eyes bulged. At one point I thought I wanted surgery just to get them back to normal, but they've gone down. And so I had to have radioactive iodine treatments. And one didn't work for me, I had to have three, which is super rare.

And so now I'm hypo, which means I don't create enough for the whole month. I have very slow metabolism, which tired, brain fog, it can affect your memory, your joints, like I was cold all the time, anemic, so all these things. But once I did that cleanse and started eating vegan, I was just like, I haven't felt this good in a long time. Wow.

Health is wealth. It is. Yeah. And I'm glad that you were smart enough to be like, hey, let me go get this checked out because something's not right. Because a lot of times we let things just fly because we can still move around with, I'm good, I'm good. But you know something isn't right.

You have to trust and listen. You have to listen to your body. Yes. Yeah. And it's crazy. Like I knew, I knew something wasn't right. Just from the weight loss, I threw up one day. I never get sick.

Yeah. But I went to three, four doctors and they all were like, nothing's wrong with you. Nothing's wrong with you. I woke up one day and my eyes were bulging and my brother looked at me, he was like, why your throat so big? Right, and I was developing a small quarter.

And my brother was the one that was like, you got a quarter. And that's how they figured out what was wrong with me. Oh my goodness. I'm glad your brother was like, hey sis. Yeah. I mean, he was looking at reading the joke for sure. Yeah, right.

Right. But no, he called it out. But you know, like our healthcare system, especially with black people. That's why you said they sent four people who was like, oh, you're fine, you're fine. Nothing wrong with you. Like, you know, I guess we superhuman out this face. That's what I think. Like nothing bothers us.

So yeah, we have to listen to our body and demand and go back and go back. I watched my mom deal with that for almost 20 years. And I look back and I tell her all the time, I wish that we were more supportive of how you were feeling and what you were going through. Because doctor, doctor, doctor, doctor. And we'd be like, the doctor said nothing's wrong. And she's like, no, something's wrong. Yes. Right. So yeah, it was, it was a good reminder.

I love that. I love that. The Please Don't Cry Tour, I got to see this live. And what I'm seeing is like, this is one of your most, your most transparent albums. What inspired this and like, what made you say, you know what, I'm really gonna just put it out there? I wanted to grow in that way. I wanted to have a better connection with my fans.

You know, we sometimes in our process of like, yo, why aren't I more well received? And it's always a self, I try to be self-reflective with it and not project it out on other people. And it was like, okay, maybe you make it too hard for people to break down your lyrics because you're so lyrical. That's why in the beginning it was heavy men fan base. When women like we operate sometimes from more emotional standpoints.

We do, yeah. And you know, I don't, people don't wanna think like, they think all day at work, so I don't wanna think too hard to break down all these lyrics. So it's just like, you know, I'm already in this healing phase, and for me, when you do music, it should be a snapshot of your life.

So you're already in this space, like, just documented. But it was scary to put out. I'm a private person. Be very, girl, I don't know nothing about you except for your music. I was like, this girl is under the radar. Radar. Like, history.

And when I thought I was sharing things in my music, I realized you were hiding the things so deep in your lyrics and it was because you were afraid for people to see you. Oh. Like I was. I tell people, I'm at the space now, so deep in your lyrics and it was because you were afraid for people to see you. Like I was, you know, I tell people like I'm at the space now I even want to go by my real name because I don't need Rapsody anymore. She was a protection for Marlena. You know what I'm saying?

I understand where I was. You know, like I talk about a lot of things on the album. Talk about abortion. I talk about, you know, on the album, talk about abortion, I talk about having a relationship with a married man, my first experience, my one time experience with a woman, like it's Alzheimer's, family, the hard times that I go through personally with the music industry. I'm going to show up always and you talk like never let anybody see your car, see your weakness.

So, you know, but at home, like you say, like we going through things. So it was like the only way you can have a better connection with people is they have to see that you're human. Yeah. You know, and it took my friend circle to get me there. Really? Yeah. Like two, two, two, three really. Misa Hilton was one. Yes, she's so talented. My friend Raina Biddy, who's a poet, and Sanaa Lathan.

Wow. You know, during that phase, they were like my guys. They taught me so much about self-reflection, about manipulation, about fear. And I had a lot of unlearning to do and relearning. But you know, it was a pandemic. I was just in the house just pouring out, pouring out. I had two album ideas before I just, you know, the pandemic you sit still and again, TV was off and it was just like all these things that I was hoarding and holding, they just came and resurfaced and I just put it out in the music and I was just

like this is the album. Yeah. A masterpiece, it's so good. You want to grow you have to do the hard things and it's the best decision that I made. Yeah. And I had to make it scared. Yes, yeah, yeah, yeah. Because it was like, I'm afraid of the world to judge me, but I learned that nobody is perfect. And what I learned in putting out these albums, a lot of people been through a lot of things that you've been through. They have.

They miss on saying it. You can say, I'll never do that, never do that, until you're in a situation and you're like, I don't know how I got here. I'm not happy about this decision I made, but I got to learn from the experience and I got to share it. And hopefully, it's a guide for somebody else

or healing for somebody else. So, you know. I love it. I love it. I could tell by just the crowd participation and how everybody was singing a lyric for a lyric right there with you, how they resonate with it. That was proof that you opening up

and they've been resonating with you, but the passion and the people were rapping. I was like, oh yeah, I could feel it. Like you could literally like feel it in the room. It was so dope. Yeah, that's crazy. I'll have my in it in it so I can't hear it. Yeah, I know when I put my on,

you literally can't hear anything. I'm like, but I put my phone on, Lily can't hear anything. I'm like, but you can feel it though. You can like feel the vibrations of the energy. They were, it was crazy. Actually, I'm gonna show you when we rap. I had some, I'm sure you've seen the footage, but when you went into the crowd and all the cameras were on you, it was so dope.

I was like, this is when she went into the crowd. I was like, this is a rock star right here. We started that in Chicago. Like I was on, this is a rock star right here. We started that in Chicago. Like I was on stage and they were so crazy. And Joc, my playback engineer, he was in my ear. He was like, you gotta go in the crowd. Wow. I was like, what?

I said, you think so? He's like, go in the crowd. It was, they loved it. Yeah, it was. I was like, wait, where is she? I was like, she's in the crowd right now. They laughed at me because security came at one point. They were like, and I told them about, I mushed myself, move. Right. Get out the way. Like, we with the people. Yeah, right.

We don't even track that kind of energy. At all. Exactly. They're not going to do exactly. Yeah. But nah, this album has been, it's the most important and my favorite album of my career. I love that, I love that. Speaking of your album, and then you talked about so many things on your album, and you are such a mystery. Is there, like, how do you, I need to know. Maybe give me some tips on,

do you have, like, are you in a relationship, or is there, like, any love that is going on? How do you keep it private? Cause like- I kept that one I shouldn't have been in private for nine years. So you got that? It was horrible though.

Like I've been single now almost five years. Wow. Yeah. But like retro going back, that one relationship I was in nine years, shouldn't have been in. I ain't gonna get too deep in it, but you know how it goes, I never do that. You know, somebody tells you like, oh, that's not really what my situation is, and you think of something.

They will do that. You know, and you find yourself stuck, right? Especially because I was a people person and because I put other people's feelings and emotion before my own, it was like, I have to be there for you. I can't be there for myself. And it was horrible.

I'd be in the shower sometimes crying because I felt so bad by what I was doing. But, you know, it was only hotels, you know, you know, movies, looking around. But I ain't in no relationship, so it's not, you know. I don't have the answer. Are you open to one? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

So what would be your, because I would like to ask you, what's their love language? Out of the five, what what's rap's love language? I think words of affirmation are mine. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, I love that one. Mine is all of them. I wanted to say that one. Give me everything.

I want the gifts, I want the touch, I want the words of affirmation. I want the, what's the, what's that word love, love language one? What's that? What's that? What love language is? Gifts. Gifts. I might have said gifts twice, but gifts. I said it twice, which means I really like that one.

Really like that one. And touch. I love, and I'm a very touching person, so I love touch. So yeah. I love them. I'm learning to be more affectionate in that way. Yeah. Like I grew up with my mom and to be more affectionate in that way. Yeah. Like I grew up with my mom and dad are not affectionate at all. A lot of people, like a lot of us like grew up,

my parents definitely showed affection in front of me. So like, I'm very much like, yeah. But like guys that I've dated before were not. And it was kind of like, why are you touching me? And I'm like, cause I like you. Yeah, maybe. Or you close. And then they realized, oh, when you start to do the work and realize where these certain like triggers come from,

it's like, oh, now I get it. Yeah, like, yeah, my mom and dad, they show different, my mom likes to do things, she's acts of service. Okay, that's the other one, acts of service. Yeah, like, I like to cook for you, I'm gonna clean, make sure your clothes are good. Okay, mama. Like, you know, I'm gonna pay for somebody to come cut the grass, things like that.

I would say my dad is the same way. In his older age, he's a lot more words of affirmation. Oh, that's cute. I was like, oh, that's cute. I didn't know you had that in you. But I had to learn, like, it took me a while to say I love you. I remember the first time my mom told me, like, said it. I felt so uncomfortable.

Like, me and my sisters talk about that all the time. And we always knew that we were loved. Like, we have great parents, but like, for them to be like, I love you, I was, yeah, that's weird. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But I've come to, I say it a lot to my friends now.

They've helped make me comfortable. My relationship in the past have made me comfortable. That's good. But yeah, no, I'm open to dating. I love it. Somebody asked me like, how do you date? Like being you. I'm like, it's a new, it's so hard.

Yeah. No. One, the dating pool. Girl, we just, I just had a conversation about that, it's so bad. Tragedy, I was like, I don't really go out like that. Like, I'm not a club girl, I don't even know where to go. I don't, you know, you're just always in the industry. Somebody was like, I know you got somebody in your DMs.

I'm like, ain't nobody in my DMs. There's like no way. I went and checked and there was nobody there. I said the only people in my DM are married men, people I'm not interested in. And other people. I didn't want to say that, but yes. I said it.

I'm like, now look at you and look at me and then look at you again and ask yourself, why are you here in these DMs? Yeah. And one of my homeboys, they was like, wrap them and tell you what your problem is. I was like, what is my problem?

He was like, men know that they have to come correct. Yes. And a lot of them know that they ain't coming correct. So they not gonna step to you. Oh yeah. That's like probably 90% of them. Yes. I can't play with this one.

Yeah. And then, you know, like in the last four and a half year, I've probably been taking on maybe two or three dates, but they all be the young boys. Girl. I can't do nothing with you. They be like, but age ain't nothing but a number. I be like, you're an actor.

And you young? No, baby. I ain't no, I'm not in that season of like. I went through that phase where it's like everybody that's coming was like 28, 31. I'm like, yo, 26. What am I gonna do with you? You younger than my little brother.

Like I can't. I was talking to this guy. And he probably see this cause I never said, but I'm giving you a tinge so you should know. Like I think you're cool, right? And he was like, yo, what shows are you watching? I was like, I ain't watching a lot, but in the last years, these have been my favorites.

He sent me a list and he had the Jamie Foxx show on it. I was just looking at it. The Jamie Foxx show. How old was he had the Jamie Foxx show on it. And I was just looking at it. The Jamie Foxx show. How old was he? The Jamie Foxx show. Does it even still come on like reruns? I lived through that. Yes, like season one to whatever it was.

Yes. It's a new show. Yeah. I can't even say that. What to do with that? Sir. The Jamie Foxx show. Shout out Jamie. Love that show. But what? Now.

In the year of our Lord 2024. The back of you was like, I was looking like. I was like. Now Martin and I could have said it because they played re-release of Martin. All day and that's like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like,

I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I was looking like. Now Martin, I can say that because they play re-runs of Martin. My homegirls like, just be in it, give it a chance. He was like, that is so funny. I love it.

I love it. Oh my goodness. So Rap, I want to play a little game with you. I don't know how good I'm going to be at this, but I want to give you a word and we're going to rap. Oh, you want the freestyling game. I'm a rapper. Let me tell you. You have to kill me. There's a difference in being a writer and a freestyler.

I'm a great writer. I'm elite with the writing. You are amazing. Yes. Give me a little shaky on the freestyle. But let's have fun. Let's have fun. So, who kick it off? Me? Yeah, give us a word, Sheree. First word that comes to mind.

Okay, all right. It was the number one for me. It was it. She got the beat. Okay. Uh, uh, um, um, um, um. Yo. Two sisters talking love, like the earrings

by Simone and Mary. I got these freestyles and the words don't carry. We came through feeling like Barry White. I want to say a song he seen, but I don't know like, I don't know anymore anymore I ain't got no mic. Give me one more word I can keep this tight I don't know. That was horrible. I'm about to be back. Okay give me word. Oh god I can't believe I'm about to do this.

Let's do... This is the narrow for me though. What is this? Fitness. That's a weird word to rap about. Okay. Okay. I'm in my fitness bag. A witness. Yeah. Never snitching, never had. Ah, yeah. Never bra. Uh. What?

You hear the other word. Music, that's easy. Music. Music, okay. What is this? What is this name? And that's your jump right there. That's how you do it.

Music, yeah. Music is the way I sing. Music is the melody to my heart. From the start, I hope you're with me and never part. Then music, the one that David danced, make me wanna wave my hands. Wave my hands. Hey, praise the high.

Yeah. Most high. Most high. Put my hands to the sky for the Lord, yeah. When I sing, then I rap. Yeah. I got my girl rap right here on the what? Yeah, we rapping music.

I'm not even rhyming. That's what I do. Yeah. Ah! Ah! Yo! What's your rap name again? C-Murda! C-Murda. You know, you heard us. A body on the floor.

That's what she did to the verses. Yeah! We connected like sisters in cursive. And if you want to see it, we bring the worst in. Yes! I love it. It can be like rap, you suck. Never, girl, ever. Those two words ain't going together.

Oh my God, sis, thank you so much. That was fun. I appreciate you. I learned so much my God, sis, thank you so much. That was fun. I appreciate you. I learned so much more about you. I know you guys did. I appreciate you so much. Keep going. Thank you for giving me a place to feel safe.

Yes. There's more to know about me, so I gotta come back. Yes, please, please come back. I love your energy and you are always welcome. Seriously. We're gonna be in the kitchen next time. Yep. Cooking!

Making walnut tacos. Yep. Cooking! Make the walnut tacos. Yep. Plant-based vegan dishes. All the things. I got my grinder and some water for the walnuts. I got some cumin and a little garlic. You ain't happy about that? I know.

I want some. All right, we go. You go, my girl, this tastes just like some ground turkey. Yeah. Cause it is. Yeah. I ain't gonna do that to you. That is, that'd be so cruel.

No, I'd be like, okay. Here goes nothing. Here goes nothing. It's a lettuce on there, that's vegan. You be like. Yeah. Straight up. Oh man, thank you, thank you. Seriously.

I appreciate it. My conversation today with Rapsi really got me thinking. And something that really stuck out to me was when she said something about boundaries. Boundaries is so important to me. And she said, where do you cross your line? What is the line that you are not willing to cross?

And that's something that I want to challenge you all. Whatever it is that you're trying to do, make sure that you have a line that you are not willing to cross. Because if you don't stand for something, you'll fall for anything. Rhapsody came through with all the positive vibes and I hope you felt them because I sure

did. If you want to share your thoughts on today's show, you can follow me on all social media platforms at Love Chris Renée and you can also follow our show at Keep It Positive, Sweetie. If you want to write into our positive outcomes listener letter, you can send us an email at keepitpositesweetie at gmail.com. In the meantime, in between time, you know what to do. Keep it positive, sweetie.

I'll see you guys next time.