Keep it Positive, Sweetie - Standing On Business with Amber Grimes

Episode Date: April 23, 2024

Ya'll have no idea how excited I am to have Amber on the show. We met very early on in my career and so much has changed for the two of us. It's been beautiful to see each other's rise and growth in the industry over the years. She's a prime example that you can stand on business and do it with your friends at the same time.

Hey, sweeties, we all know the importance of building a bright future and that includes feeling secure That's why I keep it positive. Sweetie is a proud partner with State Farm a good neighbor who understands the importance of protecting What matters most in the black community? State Farm isn't just about insurance They're committed to investing in our communities because they believe the future of black excellence is a future worth protecting communities because they believe the future of black excellence is a future worth protecting. From supporting HBCUs to promoting financial literacy, State Farm empowers black families to thrive. Stay tuned after the episode to learn more.

Hello and welcome to this episode of Keep It Positive, sweetie. I'm Krista Renee Haisland and today I have Amber Grimes with me. Guys, I'm so excited about this one. Amber! Hi! How are you doing, beautiful? I'm good, how are you? I'm good, I'm good.

So good. I'm just so proud of you. You too! I am so proud of you. I'm going to tell the people how we met. Okay. Very transparent story. I am so proud of you. You too. I am so proud of you. I'm going to tell the people how we met. Very transparent story. I was still trying to get on my feet and I was good friends with your former boss, Boo

Thime. Anybody who doesn't know Boo, Boo is also a record executive, but great friend of mine. I was like, bro, listen, I am struggling right now and I need some help and I needed my help with my rent at the time. And he was like, all right, I'm gonna have my assistant Amber go to the house and get some money for you. And that's how we first met. Do you remember that?

You were like, here you go, girl. I appreciate your transparency because that's exactly what happened. That is exactly what happened. And I was like, ooh, thank you, girl. So I'm gonna go pay this rent, child. And from there, I just watched you blossom. I met you as his assistant

and watched you continue to blossom. And now I'm excited to say that you are the executive vice president and general manager of the music label and management company, Love Renesigns. That's crazy. It's like... It's insane. It brought me home. So it's definitely crazy. But I am going to say that

obviously I watched you too. And so I think it's a very fun and cool and just like full circle moment to see you from meeting you at a time where you were struggling. Yes. So a time where it seemed like you really got no problems paying your rent. Hello, because God is good. I'm like, I'm super proud of you. I watched your journey. I don't think it was fast for either of us. I watched both of us not skip any steps. And so I just like, and I know you come on here and give people their flowers, but like, I was excited to do this because I was like, I'm so happy for her. Like, because you were because you saw it. A lot of people, if you didn't know me, know me during that time, you would have just been like, oh yeah, she seemed like she was cool.

But like to know what I was going through in the struggle and just like trying to make it in that time and then to see how we both made it is crazy. Yeah, but you were, I never looked at it like struggle. You were always creating. And so I literally like, it's terrible, the internet, like how we keep up with each other. But like I've never felt far away from you because I'm like, oh I know what Crystal doing. Yep. Oh I'm trying to do my natural hair in the pandemic. Crystal we posting videos about

doing natural hair and you were always creating content and so now to see you at the highest level of what content is, it's like oh that, that just makes sense. Wow. I love it. I love it. I want to talk about you. Okay. So much for giving me my flowers. Oh my gosh. No, seriously.

So proud of you. But in college, you started promoting parties. Yes. Now what even brought that about? I want to go to a club for free. Really? Like, how can I do this? Seriously?

Like, no, that's how it started. I think the first, I'm from Atlanta. Yeah, I've been going to the club since I was like 14 years old. Right. The real club, like the tongue in groove. Yeah, like started early. But there was a point like when I was going to team parties and stuff, and I will go and then I had a lot of friends there. I will go to the party. I would have a good time and then I will leave and there were other people that were staying and I was like, well, why do they stay? What do they stay for?

And they have to count the money. This is their party and I'm like, oh, I want to stay. I want to count the money. I want to count the money. Yeah, basically I've always been extremely business minded. I never really knew how to have fun. I would have fun, but if there was some business that I could attach to fun, I'm like, what is this? And so I really started promoting parties because I was like, cool, if I'm going to be an entrepreneur,

this is easy. I get to have a good time. I don't have to pay to go to the club anymore. I'm going to learn this skill that I didn't know how valuable it was back then. But yeah. And then I just wanted to be a little business owner. I didn't know how valuable it was back then. But yeah. And then I, I just wanted to be a little business owner. I didn't know what the hell I was doing. I'm like, I'm going to make me an LLC and like do the thing. Oh, wow. That is crazy. What were you majoring in?

Were you a business major? Um, so I don't, I have no clue what I was majoring in. I did a year and a half at Kennesaw. Okay. Maybe two before I officially dropped out and just wasn't going. I spent way more time at Georgia State throwing parties and like networking and literally like meeting all the people

that I work with now. And so, you know, I never, I never tell anyone, like staying school kids, but I never tell anybody like, oh drop out of college. But that experience that I had and like the choices that I was making, they worked out for me. I knew what I was doing.

I was on a mission. And so that was like a time for me to connect with people, but I was not inspired in my economics class or just any of those things. I was like, where, guys, where am I gonna use this? I'm like a right now type of person. Right. Um, and right now this is not, this, this is not helping me at night when I'm counting money and trying it. What? It wasn't helping with my business. And I'm like, no,

this is my get rich quick scheme. Right. That doesn't make sense. And so I don't know if I ever even picked a major. I just like, I knew I was going to be major so I was like, I'm gonna try this thing out but I don't think this is for me. Were you always like that even as a kid, like in your early years? Um, yeah like I'm, I don't want to call it stubborn. I've always been focused. Like always down to try stuff. When I was in high school, name a club, I was in it. Junior beta, speech and debate. I was the president of the school freaking for three years. Like if there

was something I could do, I wanted to do it. And I just like didn't want to do anything that I didn't want to do. And I wouldn't. And you couldn't force me to. And if I had to learn a lesson about it later, that was fine with me. But I've always made my own decisions. And I think I maybe don't give my mom enough credit for like allowing me to make my own decisions. Right, gotcha. Cause she was just like, fine. You in the school play?

Cool, do the school play. You don't want to join the band? Fine, don't join the band. And it was like, cool, this is, my life is in my hands. Yeah, that's cool. I love it. And see where it's taking you now, making those and staying on business at a very young age. You kind of set those principles early, but I've learned things

too. My mom tried to get me to get braces when I was in middle school and I was like, no, I'm gonna be rich and there's these things called veneers and I'll get veneers and she was like fine. And so my sister got braces. Her teeth are perfectly straight and I had to pay for my own Invisalign last year. I said, should listen. Should have listened to my mama. It took me over a decade to learn this lesson. So I'm still, I'm still growing. Mama knows best. Listen, you should have listened to your mom. That is so funny. So you promoting parties in college and then you tap into the music industry. How did that even come about? First of all in Atlanta it's all like this. Right. So it really is. Everything except for

film until now. Yeah. Right. So if you're in Atlanta your aspiration if you don't want to go to UGA and become a lawyer is to be in music. That's what I know. That's why I moved here. Or to throw parties. Yes. Oh, they make a lot of money because they are doing it for, no, literally, and making a lot of money doing it. Which that's somebody's cup of tea. Yeah. But for me, I just like, I never really like wanted to be something specific.

I've never been like that. So like if I was younger and like, oh, what do you want to be? I wasn't on no, like I want to be a firefighter. I was never on none of that shit. I'm like, I like then I'm like if I was younger and he's like, oh, what do you wanna be? I wasn't on no, like I wanna be a firefighter. I was never on none of that shit. I'm like, I like then I'm like, I like to tell people what to do. So wherever I gotta work and whatever I gotta do where I can be the boss, that's what I wanna do. And I think as I started trying things in college,

I would just like roll into the next thing. So when I was promoting parties, I had somebody come to me and say, hey, if you can promote a party, you could probably promote an artist. And I'm like, yeah, cool. A flyer is a flyer, CD is a CD, I could pass that out too. DJ Scream is actually the person who gave me my first check

and was like, can you promote a mixtape? I'm like, hell yeah, give them to me. I pass them all out by myself. And so then someone else came to me and said, hey, if you can promote an artist, you could probably manage an artist. And I'm like, that's cool. Like give me an artist to manage, let's do it.

And that's literally how I ended up meeting Boo. Wow. And so he's like, if you can run around with this artist, you could be my assistant. I'm like, yeah, I can, come on, let's do it. And it was just like, I really take that getting your foot in the door thing very seriously.

Like a lot of the younger generation like really want to skip steps. Let's talk about it. And I think maybe I had the opportunity to, the way the internet wasn't built like this. No, it was not. Yeah, it was not. I might have, but I'm so fortunate

that I didn't have the opportunity that it was like always one foot in front of the other. And I believe that I got to where I'm going faster and will always have more longevity because I never skipped over anything. Absolutely. I want to talk about those moments. What were some of the defining moments as an assistant

as you're taking these steps? Because being an assistant is not the same as being the boss that you are now. You know what I'm saying? You are like running things. What was that like? Cause some people, I feel like the younger generation, they want to skip right to the boss. What were some of those defining moments as an assistant that made? Cause some people, they, I feel like the younger generation, they want to skip right to the boss.

What were some of those defining moments as an assistant that made you either feel like, I don't want to do this or no, this is exactly where I want to be. I think that my assistant experience was, unlike many people, my boss at the time, Boo, who you know very well, really challenged me and he was really tough on me.

And because he was who he was, he required me to have a lot of knowledge about what I was doing because I would have to show up as him a lot of the time, whatever it was he was doing. Right. And I got fired. He probably fired me like two or three times you know bring me back because you don't know his social security number and I'm like I have it. He's like yo Amber I actually need you again. Yeah he fired me one time for doing something with a

contract I forgot what I did it was it was something stupid but I didn't know this is my first time in music I'm like yeah everyone can read the contract right and I'm they're like no everybody can read the contract. Right. And they're like, no, everybody can't. Yeah. And he's like, you know, he fired me. And then, you know, I think it was like two days later, he called me and was like, I need you to book a flight. And I didn't say nothing. And I just booked the flight and I went back to the office the next day.

So there were those challenges, but also just like. He made me him. Yeah. Had access to meeting people. I was able to be in the room. I was on the calls. So like I'm hearing how LA Reid is talking and what they, why this song, why Rude Boy is the song to pick.

And I'm booking flights and seeing him like travel around with Rihanna. What does it take to be on a tour? And I just saw everything in that position. Like I had more visibility than I would ever give anybody who assists me, cause no. But yeah, he showed me everything and thank God for him that I was somebody who was responsible.

But that is always gonna be the most important job I ever have. It will always be the most impactful position that I've ever had. I have never met more people in my life, including you, through anybody else or any other job position that have come back around to help me in some way or vice versa than in that position. So I'm always so grateful for it. And yeah, I just like, I became the boss that I am by watching somebody do it, but he allowed me to be it in a humble way. He said, you can come and play as me so you understand what's going on. But I never overstepped as like, oh, I'm ready. I'm ready for this. It was more like, I'm not. So what more do I need to know?

How do they do this? How I was taking notes. Yeah, that's so important. I love that because there is such an importance of honoring every step that you're in. I was a production assistant and then I ended up becoming not passing a few things I did, but I was a assistant, a personal production assistant. Then I became a background costumer. Then I became a costumer, then a costume designer. But quite like your experience with Boo as his assistant, that was my experience with Tyler as his stylist.

Not being him or like stepping into his shoes, but being around him, like hearing how he ran business, seeing how he carried himself around fans and around business people and the conversations that I was privy to helped me to be the businesswoman I am today. And I do not take that lightly. I never did. And the places that he took me, the exposure that I got from being around him, things that I would have never experienced at that age or at that time, or even with what I was bringing in, I would have never gotten to do those things and it really helps shape who I am

Today and help handle what I'm doing now, so I know exactly what you mean about that Yeah, well and it's funny cuz I took that mm-hmm like that I didn't ask for that type of treatment because at the time I was like why are you being so mean to me right now? I appreciate it, but I really took that and when I had an opportunity to work with Nick Cannon appreciate it, but I really took that. And when I had an opportunity to work with Nick Cannon, the only reason why I did that was because I was like, oh, I know what happens when you're around somebody like this, right?

So if you're a person that I respect, admire, I want to do anything like what you do. I just want to be around you. And so I had, at that time, taken a step back in my career to force myself to have the same experience that I learned that worked, because I just wanted to move around with him and see what that was like and how you treated people

and how you show up to things. How are you, I wanted to know how the hell he was getting so many things done in a day. That man is busy. That's, listen, Nick, what's up, man? I actually need to come shout at you myself because- Bring him here. Seriously, like I went on did his show, but he need to come shadow you myself because. Bring him here. Seriously, like I went and did his show,

but he needs to come here because that is insane. That man has so many jobs. I'm like, how are you in all these places? But it was a wonder, right? And so when I had the opportunity to see it, I know how. He shows up to everything on time. You have a great experience when you come in, he comes and he does the job.

He says yes to, if he cares about you, he'll say yes to anything that you ask him to do. And he'll say, you have an hour, I'll be there at three o'clock and I'm leaving at four o'clock because I got to get on a jet to go see the twins. But like, I'm committed to you with what you need to do. And I took a lot of things from him about, it was like less business stuff, but more about how to show up and be a good person and make sure that people have a good experience with you. And so it's not about him being busy. He's booked and busy because he's a great experience when he shows up to the job.

Yeah. He is that. He is that. Shout out to Cannon. That's amazing. I used to do music and I was trying to get a record deal and all these things. And I remember one thing Boo told me when I first moved to Atlanta, he said, "'Crystal, give yourself a set period of time

"'of how long you gonna chase this. "'And if it doesn't work, find something else.'" He was like, "'Because this industry is crazy.'" And what I found was that it's such a male-dominated industry and it was tough navigating that as a woman who didn't have a big team behind her to kind of protect me. With you working in such a male dominated industry,

how did you navigate that? He's so tough. I'm like, a lot of crazy ass advice, just like he gave you at a very young age, where I'm like, oh shit, all right, cool. Yep. Hey, sweeties. Have you ever wondered what's in the products

you use on a daily basis? Well, let me tell you about Elle. Elle, like the letter, is a brand committed to providing you period care products inspired by nature, made without dyes, fragrances, and synthetic pesticides. Their pads have a breathable cotton top layer and a plant-based core, and their tampons contain an organic cotton core.

Now, not only can you feel good about Elle's ingredients, but also Elle's price. With tampons and pads that protect for under $5 a month, Elle believes access to period care is not only a fundamental right for everyone, but an opportunity for change as well. That's why Elle is on a mission to make exceptional period care accessible for all

by providing funding each year to nonprofit community-based organizations around the world to make exceptional period care accessible for all by providing funding each year to nonprofit community-based organizations around the world focused on period care accessibility, menstrual health education, and employment opportunities. So if you're looking for a brand that aligns with your values of giving back and using products inspired by nature, look no further than Elle. If you want to learn more about their mission or browse their full range of products, visit their website at thisiselle.com.

And the next time you're in the period care aisle, look for Elle pads and tampons. Choose love, choose Elle. So one thing that I try to make very clear is like I do not push the agenda that it is hard to be a woman in the music business because of your womanhood. I don't like that.

I respect everything that every woman that went through anything to get into this business before me went through. They are the people that made it easier for me or for me to have the experience that I had. But I hate pushing the narrative to any young person. It's going to be hard for you because you're a woman. Because when you go into it like that, you already kind of carry yourself. You just set yourself up to experience this thing that you fear so much. And I believe in that. You experience what you fear right nobody ever put that on me No one ever made me think that I came into it working at a male dominant company

Yeah, with boo and Lee and all the you know everybody that was round. Yeah, they respected me. They taught me Like I said, they allowed me to be in rooms They didn't allow anybody else to disrespect me and my experience was I'm valuable because I'm a woman Yeah, like what can I bring because I'm a woman? Y'all don't know something that I know. You can't do something that I can do. And so my thought process has always been it's been easier for me because I'm a woman. I'm not competing with you. I'm not competing with the sex that's dominant in this field. I'm not. I'm also not competing with the women. So I just like, I've never, I never put that on myself. So I didn't

experience that. And I experienced that this is me being stubborn again. I did what I wanted to do and I experienced it how I wanted to experience it. And I would encourage anybody, doesn't matter what age you are, that's coming into it to like figure out what you appreciate about you instead of going into everything, thinking about what you don't have or what the lack is, or oh, but I'm this, I'm from there,

I'm this or whatever. It's like, why is that a good thing? That's how I've tried to think. It seems to work. It's working, yeah it has. You ended up deciding to leave Atlanta and move to Los Angeles. Was that the first big pivot that you made

and big risk and jump and say, hey, I'm leaving? Or had you left Atlanta before? I had left Atlanta as soon as I quit working with Boo. I left Atlanta to take a job at a talent agency. I had snuck off, y'all. Me and Boo fell out. He was mad at me. Now, Boo, he'll get mad now, but he always, when we're trading, he's like, all right, all right. I was tripping. We good. We good. But he was mad. I ran off to LA. I got to get the hell out of here. I had to change my life. I was reading a book called conversations with God and I was like, oh I'm out I'm taking a risk and I took a job at a talent agency in LA and

Was sleeping on my homegirl Ozzy on his couch at the time And it was not for me that two weeks. I was like, oh, y'all got me messed up. I don't want to have to go to jail in LA. So I need to come back home. And I think I cried and lied to my boss at the time that like, oh, Lord, I think I put death on somebody. I was like, I had a death in the family.

I have to go. It's an emergency. My stuff just made it to LA on a truck. I turned around and moved back to Atlanta and was like, nevermind. Yeah, about two weeks, give or take. I wasn't ready. Yeah.

And I'm, you know, on the one hand, I'm like, I wish I would have stuck it out, but everything worked out so perfectly. That's when I went back and started working with K Camp and my other friends that I grew up with. And surprising enough, because his career was blossoming, he was spending a lot of time in LA. So now when I started going,

I would stay for like three months at a time that I was with my people. And I was doing things I was supposed to be doing and I was meeting the right people. And so that helped me adjust when I made the big decision, like, no, I'm just going to move and there is no turning around. Wow. And what was that like once you get to LA, whole new world? Oh, I was ready. You were ready this one. Yeah, this one. My mind was adjusted. I had got my job

at Spotify and I was very proud and I'll always be proud that I didn't have to leave to be successful, whatever I thought success was. I got that job here and I worked here for a year doing it. And then there was just one point for two different reasons. One, when you leave Atlanta, you really realize how many people you don't know. Yeah.

When I lived here, I said, this is it. Like I'm popping, ain't nobody else for me to meet Right, and then I started traveling to New York and traveling to LA for this job and I was like, I don't know Anybody and they don't know me. Mm-hmm There we go, which is like that that was my thing in Atlanta I have a great reputation here. If you've worked with me, you love me if you have somebody asked about Amber Grimes I know what you're gonna say. Yeah. I got up out of here and people were like, who the fuck are you? And I was like, oh, that's a problem. Okay, this is a new

challenge. You don't know who I am? Well, you know, get ready, right? That's me. And yes, I was ready to move because I was like, there's this whole new world out there and I need to jump into it and get this speed this process up. Right. They have to meet me. I'm a great girl. Yeah. And then I just realized that my husband wasn't in Atlanta. I was like, you're not here.

He ain't mine isn't either. Girl, I listen, I'm convinced he's not here. Yeah, I had to take her straight off of business, but that was a deciding factor. I was like, love, love y'all everybody who I ever dated or whatever you call that in Atlanta talking. Because they don't really be dating. I don't know what we do. We gotta get together. We gotta get together. But whoever I was talking to, one point where I was like, yeah, like, it's not gonna happen for me here. And me being in a relationship was important. I also am not one of those girls that wanna work, work, work and have no personal life and end up, but I don't like cats.

So I intentionally was like, my husband's not here so I need to go find out maybe where they reside. And the husband folk, cause they wasn't here. And then my job, I was in my job at Spotify but I already knew that I wanted a new opportunity. And whatever my next opportunity was, had no idea what it was. It also wasn't here for me.

Yeah. That realization, I love that you were aware that it's not here. And I was out. Yeah, I love that you were right. You are onto something now, because I've been saying it's so ghetto in this dating pool here in Atlanta. Like and I hear it's ghetto everywhere right? Yeah I heard LA is

really hard. That's what I hear but I me and my boyfriend started dating my first official day there. So I didn't experience that. Wow y'all met your first official day in LA? Yes. I knew him not well, so he was somebody that was around. He has a totally different story of how we met, because he was like, I had emailed you, I was already like trying to, and I'm like, I don't know, he pulled up the email, he's like, you never responded. I was like, that sounds right. That's but I'm very intentional about, well, at this moment in my life, I got very intentional about dating. Because I was like, I want something different. I want someone different.

I went through a lot of frogs. So now I actually know how I want to be treated. And I was on the apps. I was like, I'm willing to put myself out there and do whatever it is that I have to do. I'm reading books. I'm doing whatever it is I have to do to prepare myself for whoever it is to recognize him, right?

Cause I don't have problems dating. I know people do. But I had a problem and I think many women do, recognizing your person. Cause we'd be needing them to break into our house. No, literally. It's ridiculous. And so it wasn't, I was very intentional

that like when he shows up, I don't really care what he looks like. I have my like three non-negotiables. I think you should only have five, but I have my three non-negotiables. And as long as you were cool and not that, I'll give you a chance. And that's the energy I came out with here.

And the first person who asked me on a date was a white boy with a ponytail. And that's the energy I came out with here. And the first person who asked me on a date was a white boy with a ponytail. And I was like, okay, what's up? Run it. Right. You need three things to check out. What's up? Take me to dinner, baby. Literally. Ask me to dinner. I was like, let's go tomorrow. And we went and that was it from there. Wow. That is crazy. Okay. So do I need to go to LA? She said. I haven't had it in LA. Six years. Maybe it'll happen to me in your six.

Right, see? That's what I'm saying. She left New York and went to LA. It's the intention. I tell him all the time, and he doesn't like when I say it, that I made you in my mind. Shout out to your mom too, but I I created you and then you showed up to me as the person that I created because I wasn't like I need him to be six months high and I didn't

care what package you came in at the time I was like I will recognize it when I see it and that was it and I received it instead of so good I was playing is blind. I don't even need to be in the pod, child. I need to get it together. Okay. I need to get it together because I've had people say, oh, this guy's interested in the first time. Like, so I need to, yeah, I definitely look, I'm like, cause the first thing you do, you see, you know what I'm saying? So I see them like, nah, that ain't it. And then I go to the Instagram and I'm like, hmm. You're so lucky as a woman that we that we can grow to be attracted to people. Yeah, because I dated unattractive guys and then actually was like, he's just so, like, I just love them. Maybe unattractive to you, but it's like, girl, I don't need you to be attracted to me.

Actually, I want him to be unattractive to you. Yeah, I hope he's ugly, like whatever. But it's like, my favorite thing about my boyfriend is his financial literacy. Like when he started telling me about credit and money and what I need to do, I was like, Wow, so before but when you're American Express, You were cute before, but American Express? I was like, platinum? Wow, what is that?

I was like, this card is really hard. Like I can have one of these. He's like, yeah, it's easy, apply. But he taught me so much stuff that like nobody was teaching me. I was at Spotify at the time. He could tell me what to do with my stock. That was interesting conversation to me.

I don't wanna talk about TV shows and stuff with somebody. I was like, this is cool. And so while I thought he was attractive the whole time, he began to get more and more attractive and more and more husband-like as the conversations went on. And if you don't give somebody a chance, you never get there. You don't, that is so true. You never get there.

Okay, she's getting that now you give me advice. Sorry. What are you thinking? No, but we can still sit in that because you said, and I made a note here, about the three non-negotiables, but you believe that woman should have five. And I think that you have more than five, right? How do you get to a place where you even begin recognizing,

well, what are your non-negotiables for you? Right. And then, and then, um, yeah. How do you, how do you begin to, how did you begin to establish like, Hey, these are the, I set the intention that I'm going to move and I want to find love. And then you set the intention of like, and these are my non-negotiables. There's a process there. Yeah. I think it's like having, sitting down and having a conversation with yourself, right, like when you're later in your dating life, I guess, it's like you have experience. So instead of dating the same person,

why don't you take some time and reflect? Yes. And like think about what you really didn't like, or what you maybe you know Could have dealt with like if you went on one date with somebody you're like, oh red flag Because I know we do that like yeah, I could have went on a second date with him Like I don't I didn't even have the information. I didn't ask enough questions. I ran away Mm-hmm. I think people need to stop and reflect especially when they have the data Yeah

and the reason why I say the five non-negotiables is because like one thing that I know we do is make a long list of all the things that we want. And this is so long that the person isn't a real person. They're actually an alien that lives on Mars. It makes no sense. So now you've committed to this list that nobody can live up to and every single person that you date you put this list against them and girl they could have 12 out of the 18 things that you have on there and you write it off because you're like well this is this is very important. So I have my stuff

together I know what I want. I say the five non-negotiables, because I'm like, what don't you really want? Like what in that experience are you not willing to deal with? And it can't be a laundry list or you're probably the red flag. Right. That you're expecting so much out of something

and maybe make a list about what's wrong with you. Because somebody's gonna have to accept these things about you. Exactly. So I'm like, if I want somebody to wait for me because I'll be late, I maybe can't complain about xyz that they do because this is who I am. I'm going to have to take somebody as who they are. Yes. But like one of my non-negotiables is not smoking cigarettes.

Oh same. I just don't. I've dealt with somebody who smoked cigarettes before. I didn't like it. I don't like cigarettes. That is on my, I only get five. That is, it is very important to me. Won't do it, can't do it. Yeah. I'm saying what you had. It's like, it doesn't even have to be that deep.

Yeah. But I just like, I know what I don't want. And women were usually good at that. Cause we do it with food. We don't ever know what we want to eat, but I know what I don't want. You right. So I'm like, it's the same concept.

Like figure out what you were totally not willing to put up with and everybody else is worth having a conversation. Yeah. It's worth going on a second date. Where did you get that concept from the five non-negotiable rules? My mind. Wow. You just created it. Like I need. Yeah.

I read a lot of books and so I feel like there were different pieces that came to me about how I like creating a process of how I'm going to be intentional. So this was my process getting on the apps was a part of the process. I never been on a date that never had to. I was like, I'm not fine. I was like, cool. I've never tried that. So how could I say I'm really trying? And there's this whole arena where I don't exist. And it was cool, it was fun, I was on Raya. Yeah, I got into Raya.

Let's do the stuff. But I think just putting myself out there in that way brought somebody to me that had nothing to do with the app. You attracted it, yeah. But we shut ourselves down in a lot of different ways where we're like, oh, I'm so much trouble finding a man. I can't date, I can't. And you're like, well, you're not leaving the house.

I wouldn't leave the house. Like I said, they got to break in. I think everybody should make their own plan. And I'm always open and I love talking to my friends about dating. This is like my secret passion. Like in another life, I am like a dating coach or whatever you call it, like a matchmaker. And I just help us get it together. But I feel like I got to be married and nobody's going to trust me in my advice. I'm really good. You got to create your process. You

have to create what works for you. And I know a big example, one of my friends came to me and she was looking for love and she's like, she's meeting people but like you know it's very important to her that someone be very close to God. Like they need to be and she is that person to me. She is very close to God. She has given me every book on spirituality that I ever read and she taught me everything I know about my relationship with God. And I'm like you have been that person for me and you never cared as one of my closest friends how close I was to God. And you offered me the best that you have to give and we are close because of that. So why when you meet a man do you want him to come with what you have to

give so that you provide no value to him because he is already as close to God as he needs to be when this is the most special thing about you. Somebody's gonna fall in love with you the way I did as a friend because you have to share this. So if you change that person's life or bring them closer to God, you guys are gonna have something amazing. But you want them to come with all the information.

And that's, I'm like, that's your gift. Why does it matter? I mean, not atheist, like that's fine, but I just like, that was one of those moments where I was like, we just kind of set ourselves up in the wrong way. And we need to think about the things that we say sometimes and the things that we do and why certain things matter.

That's so true. Because I feel like as women, I know I was talking to one of my girlfriends before because she was kind of harping on some things that her boyfriend was doing. And I was like, well, you don't get mad when I don't call you or I was like, so why is it like, why are you,

why do we put certain stipulations on our man that we don't do on our friends and we love our friends? You know, a lot of times we choose our friends. Unconditionally. Unconditionally, yeah. And it made me think sometimes, should we bring that same type of agape love that we have for our girlfriends

into our relationships with our men? Yeah, when you have to figure out where your line is, right? At the point where it's a respect issue. Yeah, that's right. You know, I do have standards for my friends if you say you are coming over at two. I expect you to come over to you. Yeah, if you don't be like, where's your if I tell if my man's coming home at midnight and you come home at 5am, I'll be like, where the hell was you at?

So it's like, you don't, you know, in healthy friendships, you don't just let your real friends sly with you. You guys have boundaries, but I agree with what you're saying. It's no different than friends. I have a, there's so many things I should keep to myself. But I've had really what I thought were deep relationships with people in the past. And the one time that I realized I really loved a person, which is my current boyfriend, it's like I don't experience a missing him when I'm

gone. Because I know when I come back, he's going to be there. I just left you, you're doing your thing, I'm doing mine. And I don't experience this like, oh, I'm long and pretty, oh, it's been two or three days. And with other people, I might have been with that because I felt like I owned them. Mm, ooh, Amber. That missing thing to me, and everyone doesn't agree,

that's why I say sometimes, keep my fucking shit to myself. No, this is good. I just got chills. When you feel like you own somebody or they're yours, you're like, I want my thing back. Where's my thing? Like it's supposed to be in your back pocket. And when you love someone very freely and unconditionally,

they can go away. They can go away for months. And you're like, yes, I miss you in the sense of like, I wish that you were here. I love to watch TV with you, whatever we do. But I don't feel like I own you. I don't feel like you're mine. You are yours, I am me. And when we come back together, we are us. But it is not like a, I need you here on my lap. It. It's sick actually. And I had to, cause I thought I was being weird, like, oh, why am I not having this feeling?

And I was like, it's actually healthy to not feel like that. So I had to unlearn that high school love that I was used to of like somebody that you see every day in the hallway, so you feel so passionate about them. You don't care if they work at Burger King, child. You just like, I love them. When you grow up, it's not high school, the things that you need every day in the hallway. So you feel so passionate about them. You don't care if they work at Burger King, child. You just like, I love them. When you grow up, it's not high school. The things that you need to care about.

That is so true. Oh my goodness. That was really good. So good. Thank you. I'm glad you, no, cause that's so true because I feel like even with friendships, we feel like we own our friends sometimes.

And I had went through that, but to bring that into like our relationships with men, that is so important. And I'm gonna work on that because I've definitely, I feel like society has, it's this whole concept of my man, my man, my man. He will, and even my therapist, she goes, that is objectifying someone.

She was like, you're literally like making, basically what you said, you like, like you own them. Like it's your thing. And I was like, you're literally like making basically what you said you like, like you own them, like it's your thing. And I was like, oh, I never thought about that. I thought it was like endearing, like this is my man, like, but no, she was like, that is literally you're making him an object. I was like, oh. And vice versa. So like, I don't want that from somebody. I don't want to give that energy to anybody. I like, I really believe in the cup, the cups being full thing. And so it's like when you have to pour into somebody,

then you don't have something left. So then you begin to resent somebody because now they're over here full and your glass is half empty, but they pour it back into you. Now you're like, I feel great. And that person's like, everybody got to feel your own glass. There's water everywhere.

Like you gotta fill up whatever it is for you. And if we both come to each other whole then there's nothing but overflow. Yes, yeah. And I do want to ask you something. Being that you stepped outside of dating a black man, do you feel like that had an impact on that feeling? Because dating black men can be different than because they have different experiences. Yeah. I can't say, I don't think so. I think that I have matured so much in my, and let me tell you, I don't discriminate. I dated my first white boy when I was in kindergarten. I know that's right.

She said I've never discriminated. And then there was a Columbia one and then, you know, so it was always like I've dated them all. And I love black men to death, honestly, like in every single way. But it was about who loves me. I don't care what you look like. And I think I had just, I was being so intentional. I had grown, I was on the end of a lot of bad relationships

and learned lessons that I was just ready to love differently and to be loved differently. And I didn't, it definitely didn't matter about the package that it came in. It was just like, and anybody could have got this work. I had worked on myself and I was like, I'm ready to share it with somebody. I know that's right, period. Tyler always tells me that my husband either isn't in the United States or have you ever thought about, you know, and I have a lot of friends like, because I've never thought about dating outside

of your race. Hey kids family, it's time to celebrate Black History Month at the Walmart Black and Unlimited Clock. One at Flatiron Plaza in New York City, one at Ovation Hollywood in Los Angeles, from 8am to 8pm, with giveaways dropping every hour on the hour. It's the perfect time to try, like, and share black-lead products. It's free! That's right, and it's for everyone. And it's your chance to see how you can level up your daily routine with Black-led products

that are creating a new world of choices at Walmart. Trust me, you don't wanna miss it. Now, I know financial stuff can sometimes feel confusing or even overwhelming, but listen, you got this. And guess what? Our good neighbors at State Farm are here to support Black women on this journey. They understand the importance of financial empowerment

in our community. I mean, here's the thing, it all starts with knowledge. We got to figure out where our money's going, right? So for the next week, let's challenge ourselves to track our income and expenses. There are tons of budgeting apps and resources available, but even a simple notebook can do the trick. Knowing where your money goes

is the first step to taking control. Next, let's build a budget. Remember, financial security isn't about deprivation. It's about making your money work for you. Allocate your funds towards your goals like that trip you've been dreaming of or starting your own business. Don't forget to set aside some money for emergencies too because life throws curveballs and you have to be prepared. Now, debt happens. I know we hate that word, but it happens. But don't beat yourself up about if you have some. The key is to manage it effectively. There are resources available to help you

with debt consolidation and repayment plans. Talk to your bank or financial advisor and they can guide you in the right direction. And finally, let's invest in our future. Even small contributions towards a retirement savings plan can make a big difference down the line. I mean, think about it. A secure future where you can travel the world,

spoil your grandkids, or finally write that book. And I am still holding hope for the black men. As you should. I'm holding on, but y'all, I'm getting tired. But if ever you get weary. This grip is getting a little, my fingers are starting to let go. If ever you get a little weary, I talk to with my friends about this all the time and like the biggest thing is like oh but it's so different. There's so many cultural differences. Yeah I wanted to ask you that like

taking him home with, hey mom, well I guess since you dated different races all your whole life, then you're like, oh. My grandma married a white man named Terry or something. That's just, we cool. He was French, if that matters. But no, never had any problems there. It was obviously a concern to me about his family. Okay, cool, like, we accept you on this side,

you have to accept me on that side. They're the best. They're the best, they're amazing. Like, they don't play that shit, they're from New Jersey. Like, they were nothing more than welcoming and I went in to make sure. And he made me very secure in that. But I tell all my friends, I'm like,

it's cool talking to somebody that you don't have everything in common with. Like that comfort that you're looking for is like, you seen Friday? Yeah, I seen Friday too. Right, you remember that part? It's funny, right? I get to show you Friday and I'm like, let's make a night of it. And he had seen it already, but like, I'm like, cool. Now I get to share this thing with you. And if you want to show me some Hall of Notes, then come on, we can play this record.

And I'm like, oh, I actually know that song. Oh, did he sample that record? But you're sharing something with me that I didn't know. And I think one of the, we traveled early. I'm big on that, by the way. Yes, same, I love traveling. That was a part of my process. Travel early so you know who somebody is.

I'll come back to that. And we just talk and talk and talk and we never run out of things to talk about because we have two different perspectives on a lot of things. You find out that there's so much in common and then all the things that are not, you get to talk about. And so I don't see us falling in that world where we have, we already know everything about each other in everybody's world where we just sitting at the dinner table and we're silent. I don't love to see that couple when I'm out at dinner.

We will never run out of things to talk about. That's amazing. I love it. Everybody don't like to communicate though. They do not, yeah. They do not. You gonna touch on something. Traveling.

Traveling, yes, and learning a person. Travel early. Everybody make your own intentional dating process. This was mine. So my non-negotiables, putting myself out there. And as soon as I find somebody that I'm like, OK, I kind of like you, let's go somewhere. Yeah.

Because I'm going to find out who you are, and you are going to meet me during the stress and strife of travel. I invented that show. She said I invented that show. Okay that's why Love is Blind resonates with me because I'm like I did this already okay. That's why Love is Blind resonates with me because I'm like, I did this already, okay? The right way though, they tripping, they need me to help. But we went to the Bahamas. I was like, cool, let's, man, so many issues with this trip.

But like, I'm like, yo, my friend has like a timeshare there. Like we can stay for free, let's go, let's do it. Love my friend to death. And so we're like, cool, we're just gonna stay at this random house. We never seen it before, but like, let's do it. I love my friend to death. And so we're like, cool, we're just gonna stay at this random house. We never seen it before, but like, let's do it. Yeah. Soon as we land in the Bahamas,

I'm reading a book, put my passport in the book as a bookmark, leave the book in the taxi. Oh man. It's gone. Passport's gone, the book is gone. Oh Lord. And we just pulled up in front of the house. The taxi drives off and I'm like, wow, where's my things?

I'm never gonna see this taxi driver again in my life. Um That is me. I do stupid stuff. I can be careless at times like I You might have to deal with that Well, there's nothing we can do about it now So like you want to just like get in the pool have a good time We'll figure out where the embassy is and we'll straighten it out tomorrow. And I was like, that's it.

You don't want to like, you're not mad. You don't want to be like, oh, how could you do? Nothing. Nothing. And I was like, that's how I want to be treated. I want to be given grace when I do stupid things. Cause I do stupid shit. And that, you know, the next day came to the embassy with me.

We sat and waited, spent half our vacation, like learning the process of getting over the border, which is not right and not fair to other people. Americans, they treat, let me tell you something. Let me tell you something. I tried to go up to that border being the, let him sleep. I'll figure it out. Went to the embassy by myself with my homeboy

who joined us on the trip. So we didn't know it was gonna be a three person trip. So the trip is a wreck. He's like, what is going on? But I went with my homeboy. I'm like, yeah, you take me, you're from here. Like, show me. They, I got to that border and they were like,

Rihanna, please turn around. What are you, seriously? They were like, no, I don't know what type of scam you're running, but yeah, we'll see you you later I went up there with my white boyfriend they were like please you're like I was just here with Tyrone and not okay so it has its perks too yeah right but sat up in there with me all day long and took me to get the passport picture, come back, do all the things.

And I was just like, yeah, this is, I just want somebody who is nice. He laughs at me for saying that. He's like, were people mean to you? I'm like, yeah, yeah, men be mean. Men be mean, for real. Men be mean sometimes. I wanted, I needed somebody who was nice to me and he is always nice to me. And that was one of my non-negotiables.

Wow. Don't be mean. Yes. That's it. In whatever way it shows up, I don't need that. And so yeah, that Bahamas trip, I was like, mm. She's so cute. I was like, mm.

I'm in there. This is, he's the guy. I love it. I love that. I want to talk about your book club. Okay. You just started a book club because I can stay on dating all day, honey. I know. I love it. I love that. I want to talk about your book club. Okay. You just started a book club. Cause I can stay on dating all day, honey.

I know. I'm sorry. I'm like, I've ruined the show. I'm so sorry. No, no. You literally made it. It's so good. Oh my God. No, so good. So good. But yeah, what made you want to start a book club? Really? I started a book club? Ah, really? I started the book club because I'm in another process

of my life right now. I love processes, as you know. Yes, yes. And I'm trying to detach my personal life and my purpose from my work. Wow. I love my job. Allie, she's on your street right now. I'm sorry job. I love my clients. I love my life. I love every piece of every moment that I've

spent over the last 14 years completely dedicated to becoming the person that I am today in business. completely dedicated to becoming the person that I am today in business. Not anymore. I don't think that I'm going to be able to continue to be successful without desiring to have a personal life. And so I was... You sacrifice a lot. You sacrifice a lot. And so like the relationship thing is one of the things a lot of women

immediately go like, yeah, okay, it's fine. I'm gonna work, work, work. That was not one of the things that I was willing to sacrifice. Baby was focused on that. But it was that and my work. So I'm like, well, at least I'm happy personally, but like work, work, work, work, work.

And I really had like started struggling with why I don't have anything else that like just I enjoy. That's just for me. And the only thing that I enjoy doing for free is reading. Anything else, I'm gonna charge you. But. Right, period. That's still a cost you.

But I'm like, you know, there's a lot of young people that look up to me or young girls who have asked me to mentor. And I'm like, you know, there's a lot of young people that look up to me or young girls who have asked me to mentor. And I'm like, girl, like I tell you a lot of things, but everything that I learned is in a book. And so you can't have coffee with everybody. You can't sit, you know, you can't do the zoom with everybody.

So I'm like, how can I create a space where I can answer those questions for people, or they can go and discover and get their own perspective. And I can just share with them what helped me. And if you get something from it, amazing. If you don't, and you just discover a love for reading, then I'm happy to have given that to you too. But I think that is my purpose. And whatever I thought my purpose was before,

like I was confusing my purpose with my job. You'd offer the North Street. We just had this conversation in the car the other day. Yeah, that's crazy. Yeah. It was a trick. They tricked me. Yeah, no, that's a real thing.

And I'm guilty of, and I think it's easier for me to be like, I'm just gonna stay single and work because I don't have anybody. You know, if I had somebody, cause I love love. And I feel like if I had someone, then I would try to find that balance.

But even with, I feel like now, even with this podcast, I'm finding my purpose. Cause I didn't feel like acting, that's a dream. And I'm touching people in that, but not the way I touch people with this. You know what I'm saying? So if you had three books that you would tell people,

I know you said, Conversations with God. You guys are number one. What are two more books that you would advise or recommend for people to read? Conversations with God, number one. The second is return to love. And then the third, just simply because I'm a creative is always damn good advice for people with talent. You can read it in a day. It is literally just like, you know, about taking risk

in your work and showing up to work differently. I enjoy my job because I get to be myself. A lot of people don't have that. And so I've worked and like I said, I'm proud of my career. Like amazing, like you are. I wouldn't have done anything different. This is the time though, where life is begging me to do something different because I don't even think that I can be better

for my clients or the book I read, my book of the month last month, Diary of a CEO, helped me be a better leader at my job. I'm like, wow, these concepts are mind blowing. You know, and I gave a big speech to my staff about failure and like I was motivated to teach them. And so I just like, your purpose will fuel your dreams and all these things that you're doing,

but we're thinking the other way around. It's like, if I stick to the dream, it'll fuel my purpose. And like, that is not how it works. It's like very ass backwards. It is, that is so true. My goodness. So you rep with your label, Love Renaissance.

You represent Black, Summer Walker, DeVito, Alex Vaughn, just to name a few. How do you find the balance? Because these are some big artists. How do you find the balance? Because these are some big artists. How do you find the balance in your relationship, your passion now, and just your personal life, and literally running a whole record label? Yeah, so one of the things that I had as a non-negotiable

that I took out a long time ago was, I don't wanna date somebody in the music industry. I don't wanna date somebody that does what I do. I could not date anybody else. My boyfriend owns a record label. He understands everything that I do. He understands my stress. He understands the whole, I don't have to explain anything to him.

He might've had the same day as me because of his artist or whatever he's going through. That helps me in my relationship that like, you know, you're not somebody who has to wake up at 6 a.m. So you go to bed at eight o'clock when I'm at the studio till midnight. And so when I come home, it's like, you see where the disconnect starts. Yes, absolutely.

We live the same life. So we can ask each other for advice. We can listen to music together. We can do the things that we both love together and separately. So I was able to do my personal thing in a relationship because I made sure that it fit with the thing that I care about most or that I cared about most is my career. Yeah.

And then yeah, with the... you make time for what you want to make time for. Yep. Come on now. When I started the book club, it really taught me like, dang, I was being lazy before. Ooh, cause you had time. Cause I had time. You have time, yeah. You make time, everybody, people,

the artists sleep. They do, regardless of what they say. Say, right. And I've always been big on how I use my 24 hours, and I think that I do more than most people, but I still had a little bit of time. And so I wanted to, I'm not doing less at my job, I'm just doing more in my life,

but if this like other two hours of shooting content makes me feel fulfilled, when I wake up on Monday morning, I'm a better person to have on the Zoom. I'm proud of myself. And so I come to work happy and ready to do the things. I'm more inspired. I'm making content.

So I'm telling my artists like, shit, this just worked for me. So like, we might need to, I'm learning still, which is so important to me. When you stop learning, it's over. Yes. It's over. Like that's when you're lost and it's really boring.

So I found, you know, my own, I've always had to self teach. I didn't finish. And so I feel like I'm in school again. And yeah, I'm just excited now. And I was getting, when you're bored and miserable, you show up like that. Absolutely. And it shows up in everything you create. You have that towards your staff. You have that towards your staff, you have that towards the artists. They're trying to make music, you can't put that energy on somebody. And so yeah, I just wanted to make sure I did

what I needed to do to be the best for everybody. And that would make me happy too. Yeah, I love that, I love that. So you started your record label with five of your friends. They started it. They started it and then you joined it. Yeah. Oh wow.

I infiltrated it. What y'all got going on? I'm coming along. That's dope. So what is, cause I know a lot of people like they come up together, like you look at LeBron and what him and Mav and Rich and Randy have all done together as friends and just really been amazing, excelled together. But I know in that there can be hardships,

but there also can be beauty in that. Have you guys had any situations like that? Yeah, I think for me, and you know how I started, like my first job felt like family. Yeah. So it's people that I know, when you join the Chom family, you're in there. So I've never, up until Spotify, my first corporate job

had a job where I wasn't working with people that I don't know, ever. And that was my experience, cause in Atlanta we don't have a lot of buildings. So if you got a job, it was cause your friend was coming up or this song popped off or whatever, they wanted to work with you. That was my experience. When I left that experience again, because I wanted something different, I went to a corporate

setting. Luckily for me, at Spotify, I fell in love with everybody that I work with. Still friends with everybody to this day. Incredible community. Love that. Went on to keep that going and you know, corporate America is not family. You know, and I think that my priorities, I've always done what, I have always done what makes me happy and I didn't start trying to trade my happiness for money until I stopped working with people that I love. So then I was like, well, this doesn't matter. I'm willing to do this because I'm making all this money. Right. And that was stupid. And so I love you. I just love her.

But you got to go through it or else I would have no, I wouldn't know. I love a good AB testing. or else I would have no, I wouldn't know. I love a good A-B testing. So I went and I did that and ran away from there because I knew that I didn't like the feeling. And like somebody always does, the same way that when I quit that agency job, somebody that I love was there to be like, you can come home.

And I had grown a lot in my personal career. And then these guys that, you know, an array of times, but all of them I've known between being 16 years old and 21. Wow. So like. These are lifestyles. Yes, they know me.

And I watched them build an incredible business over the last 10 years, 10 plus years They watched me become an executive that they could trust work with do things together We've done all types of crazy stuff together support each other over the decade and then it was like Very serendipitous that they're like, hey, we need this Structure and a woman. Cause it's five guys. It's five first generation immigrants.

Wow. So you know what the mood is. Absolutely. Yeah. My goodness. And one of them is Nigerian. My favorite one, my best friend. And I did my 23 and me and I found out I'm Nigerian too, so that's why we be connected. So that's the problem, we're the problem. But no, we, you know,

just they said I could come home and I still live in LA, but just mentally, physically, spiritually, like I could find a place there and you know, not be you know forward or braggadocious but I also learned in that experience that when you do you know give up the little teddy bear for the bigger teddy bear behind the bat um the money thing works itself out. Yeah always. Always. It always does. Always I was willing to I would not give up any amount of money for my happiness and I would work with them for free. Don't tell them. Amber, you are hilarious. She's like, don't tell.

Don't tell them, because I love clothes. But I would do what I'm doing with them for free because being able to hang around and to work with and to create things with Five people that you trust and think like you that will challenge you that'll be like now that's whack like shoot again, like that's our thing right and It it helps you grow in so many ways, but every day I just like I don't feel defeated because I'm like, I know you I I trust you, you love me. And then we go to therapy together.

Yeah, we've been to therapy together as a group. That was something that they were doing before I joined. Five men. That is amazing. And so I'm, you know, when you talk about, oh, what's the hardships? Like I'm dealing with some extremely elevated beings. A lot of the men shit that you immediately think about,

oh, you're gonna find men, what's the problem? The way that they communicate with each other, when I'm a fly on the wall, there's no way to come into this group and not elevate yourself and how you communicate. You can't bring toxicity into this environment because it's very healed. Everybody. Did you hear them sing?

She said, healed men. I'm like, oh, she's a. You come to the office. Yeah. OK, so before we get to it, we going to the office. Come by the office, whatever happens, happens, right? Today, because we want to have an Amber Day, I would go today after these two days.

So, get one of your co-facilites. Right, and when I get back, we going to dinner. Come to the office, you know? I can't speak for what everybody got going on in their personal life. Just come to the office. But they come with their own set of problems too, but like we can talk to each other.

Yes. And that fixes everything. That's one of my non-negotiables. Can we talk? We have to be able to talk. But like immediately too, not like I'm holding on to something. We just had that conversation too. I'm not a rug sweeper.

Yes. You can't be like that. You start to, I'm an Aquarius. I'll start overthinking and attributing what you just said to your whole personality. Like this is the type of person you are, cause I'm ready to fall out. I'm already fall out with anybody all the time.

And we talk. And so Tune Day, like I said, that is the person who brought me into this. I've known him since I was 16 years old. He was letting me in the club. And like like if I piss him off, if he does something piss me off, we're on the call, soon as we hang the zoom up, I'm like, hey, what you had meant by that? Immediately. And he's like, oh, you were getting emotional. You got to handle it this way. And all right, fine. Yeah. Good. way and all right fine yeah good yeah it is never any residue mm-hmm I love that and you can build a friendship like that you can build a business like that you

can have longevity with somebody or with multiple people and whatever you do yes as long as there is no residue after y'all clean up. Because there's always gonna be something to clean up. Yeah, so true. But they respect and appreciate what I bring as a woman. And I respect and appreciate being able to, I respect and appreciate not having to fight. Like, I'm a black woman, I'm young for my role, and I'm a college dropout and I don't have no paper to wave in somebody's face about what I know. And they don't question

me about anything. I love that. Shout out to our five black men. They love Renaissance. Shout out to our five black men. It love Renaissance. Yes. Like let me start picking. Shout out to our future. Listen, if you date one of them and they do you wrong, I don't want to hear about it. I had none to do with it.

Big great business man, I stay at everybody's business. I understand. Some of them. Some of them right. Give them grace, child. Give them grace. Listen them great listen and that's listen we are being given each other grace because I'm gonna need it too. So look you're learning yeah this has been a very good progress already right give myself some

grace but thank you Amber this has been amazing, seriously. You're amazing. You made this very easy. No, you made it easy. Because like, seriously, we were talking about sometimes, like, it feels like an interview. This felt like a conversation, you know? And I really appreciate that. I don't get to just talk to people a lot.

That's why I like, that's why I hit you up. Like, I want to come talk to you. Yeah, I was like, well, come on. Like, one, I want to see how you're doing. Because like, listen, you doing it. And I like women that are doing it. So checking in. But I'm like, I just want to come and talk to you. Yeah, I was like, well, come on. One, I wanna see how you doing, cause like, listen, you doing it, and I like women that are doing it, so checking in. But I'm like, I just wanna come and talk to you, cause a lot of the times I don't get to

just have real conversations about anything besides my work. And I've told you a bunch of the things that I shouldn't have told you and things that I haven't said out loud before, and I'm very comfortable. And yeah, this is a part of my mission of detaching myself

from everything being about work is like being able to come and have this conversation with you is that you've only added on to my journey and let me know I'm going the right way. You are, I am so damn proud of you. I seriously, you've inspired me today. And I know you've inspired D'Nour as well. Well, listen, I want those five non-negotiables

texted to me. I'm gonna give you a report. Yeah. Okay. Hold yourselves accountable. Yeah, you know make your I have three. It's five max. You can max it out if you want and just build y'all process.

Yeah, I want to see y'all be happy to you will be more successful when you have a man the myth that they told you that you don't need one and you stay focused. You will be more successful when you are more fulfilled and I'm excited for you guys thank you and come to the office oh we're coming to the office honey we're gonna pull up on you today all right so let's go and wrap this up so we can get on so we can get over there now So we can get over there now.

All right, so now we are going to do one of my favorite parts of the show. It's called Positive Outcomes. Okay, where the listeners write in and we give them advice. Okay, I'm ready. So all right, let's see what this one says. All right, it says, hey Crystal, I found your podcast like a week ago and I've been binge watching all of your videos. You are really positive light and seem genuine in your faith with God. I am 22 years old and I'm about to graduate college in May to be a civil engineer. I started taking my walk with God more seriously in early 2023 and I can definitely see the difference

he's made in my life. But life do be life in some times. Yes, it does. And I realized it's not an easy thing staying consistent with my faith. Do you have any advice for younger people like me who are just starting their walk with Christ on how to stay consistent and balance that lifestyle? There are so many young black women stepping out into the real world who don't know how to navigate being a woman of faith in a

country that never wanted us to thrive. Thank you so much for just being a role model for those of us who don't have any positive role models in our families. Oh, thank you so much for writing in. What an astute 22. I know. That's crazy. Wow. And you're about to graduate to be a civil engineer.

Congratulations. I would tell you one thing for sure is for me, I know with trying to balance my walk with God, and I talk about this all the time in my career and trying to make sure that the lifestyles align can sometimes be a battle, you know. But I would tell you just to continue to focus on God, listen to, because God talks to you. There's a thing called discernment

that you will feel in your spirit. And that's the Holy Spirit talking to you. I would say just listen to that and follow that. And if you feel like you're doing something wrong, something that I learned yesterday, if you have to question it, that's the answer. So that's what I would tell you. I think that when I hear the way she worded that question,

I think it's the wrong question, right? I don't think that she has a inconsistent relationship with her faith. Like it's always here. It's always, if you're a faithful person, it's very consistent. You can have a conversation with God anywhere, anytime. You don't have to be on your knees at all.

She's trying to build a habit. She's trying to build a habit, she's trying to build a practice. That's like, oh, that's good. You're asking about the wrong thing, your consistency is not in question actually. You desire to be more disciplined. And so this is what I mean when I say, okay, I have to build myself a process to get to something

because I need to know the actionable steps of what I have to do to get what I want and She just sounds like she needs to build a habit. Mm-hmm so that she feels connected connected Yeah, that could be yoga that could be meditating in the morning so that you consistently are doing something Yeah, but don't you don't have to question your faith because you didn't do something today. Yeah That's your questioning your ability to build a habit Questioning this that's so good. That's your question and your ability to build a habit. Faith is not a question. That's so good.

That's so good. All right, so next we're gonna do what I'm going through and what I'm growing through in this season in your life. For me, I am, well, I am going through, I am, well, I am going through, one, we just talked about me being single, and wanting love, and I'm gonna come by your office later because I'm being more intentional now. After this conversation, I'm gonna make my list

and I'm gonna head on over. But for me, I'm going through just not putting so much emphasis on wanting a man. I'm fasting right now. We were talking about somebody had a little crush on last night. After I thought about it, I was like, maybe I should wait. We're doing what's called seek season. We're seeking God to reveal some things in this season.

I'm still seeking a man, but what I'm struggling with. I'm supposed to be seeking a Lord. So, we're gonna keep it real. Okay. Neutrally exclusive. Speak to the Lord while I'm seeking you, reveal him, okay?

Can you do that? But in that, just keeping the faith to know that I'm not supposed to be alone, you know? And staying, not letting that anxiety creep in. Cause I used to like, be like, okay, my clock is ticking, Lord, I'm getting older. Like I need, like why hasn't this area of my life been fulfilled?

And I'm just finding peace in where I am right now Yeah, it's really what I'm going through what I'm growing through. I want that I really do I think I'm just going through like Another process like I, of like change. Yeah. And I'm fine with it. Like I've been through a lot of processes and it's exciting because there's like always something incredible

on the other side, but I'm not on the other side yet. I'm still actively working on this process of like my purpose and making sure that I'm admitting that out into the world but um yeah I'm going through how to commit to that how to stay focused on it how to make the time for it yeah and what I'm going through is like directly connected to that because I find that everybody can't always understand what that is or what's changed about me, you know, because I'm focusing in this way or I can't hang out because I'm doing this. And I'm kind of growing through, you know, everybody can't come.

Everybody is not supposed to come. People are great. You can find people again later. Some people shouldn't have been around at all. And just kind of just growing through being okay with what I got. Yeah. Oprah only got one friend. Okay.

Shut up, Gail. One. And that man. And I hope that man is true. Baby, shut up, Gail. One. And that man, and I hope that man is not a friend. Baby, stay standing. Okay, but she's got one friend, and for me, I'm just like, I'm an Aquarius, so if you're my person, you're my person, I can spend every day and every hour with you,

and if you have the same vision as me and you see me, because sometimes I think my vision can be so big and unrealistic to somebody else that they can't see it. They don't understand. So then somebody's looking at you like, you crazy. Well, how you going through this, right? You imagine you telling somebody while you're styling Tyler that I'm gonna have my own show.

And you see that for yourself even your closest friend might look at you and be like okay you're okay well like don't lose this job with those bit you know whatever they whatever that fear is if they put on you yeah and I'm going through the process of learning how to like not let what anybody else can't achieve have anything to do with what I'm gonna do. Right. Because people love that. They do. They sure do. Oh my goodness. So yeah I got a big vision. I don't need anybody to help me see it. I have eyes. I love it. Oh that's so good. And to close it out we do what we call fill in the blank. Keep

it blank sweetie. And I'm gonna say for this one keep it purpose driven sweetie. It's all about I've really I loved how you touched on purpose and finding purpose so that's what I'll say today. I'm gonna say keep it intentional sweetie. There you go there we have it. Amber you are I'm a delight. Just to see how you blossomed and grown up since I first met you is just beautiful to see. Thank you so much for stopping by. Thank you. Yes.

Thank you. Of course. Guys, I hope you enjoyed this episode. I know I did. If you want to write into our positive outcomes open listener letter, write in to keepitpositsweetie at gmail.com and that is sweetie with an I-E.

You can follow me on all platforms at Love, Christa, Renee and that's L-U-V. Amber, tell the people where they can find you. You can find me at Amber Grimes, A-M-B-E-R-G-R-I-M-E-S and at Amber's Book Club. That's right, Amber's Book Club. Make sure you tap in. I'm gonna tap in.

Please. I am, I got all these books back here that Emma had posted and I was like, I'm going to read all these books. I started reading one. The first step is just getting them in the house so you can see them. Oh, they are here. Yes. When they find you, they will. Yes. Oh my God. In the meantime, in between time, you know what to do.

Keep it positive, sweetie. Love you guys. There you have it. These are just a few steps to build financial security. And remember, like a good neighbor, State Farm is there. Not just with insurance, but also by supporting resources that empower Black women financially. Head over to statefarm.com to learn more and find a local agent who can guide you on your financial journey. Keep it positive, sweeties. And remember, like a good neighbor, State Farm is there.