Keep it Positive, Sweetie - The Weight Of The Truth

Episode Date: August 9, 2026

What does it mean to carry the weight of the truth?  This week, Crystal Renee Hayslett sits down with Dr. Charis Chambers, known as “The Period Doctor,” to celebrate the release of her new book, The Period and Puberty Parenting Revolution. Together, they explore calling, motherhood, and the courage to have the conversations that shape generations—revealing how truth, when shared with compassion, has the power to heal.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your podcast. Hey, this is Hayes Davenport. And Sean Clements. We host the podcast Hollywood Handbook. Every episode we're trying to help our guests improve their careers by mainly focusing on how they can help us improve our careers. The show's famously super accessible so you can easily jump into any of our 650 episodes and understand what's going on.

We recommend some of our recent episodes with Ben Stiller, Danny McBride, Riz Ahmed, and Mary Steenberg. Listen to Hollywood Handbook on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Calling all my sweeties to the forefront, I'm your host, Chris Renee Hazett, and this is the Keep It Positive Sweetie show. Welcome to Keep It Positive, sweetie, the place where we heal, grow, and learn together. Some of the most important conversations of our lives are also the ones where least prepared to have. Today we are talking about truth, trust, and the courage to have the conversations that can change generations. Today's guest has dedicated her career to making some of life's most important conversations feel less intimidating and far more empowering. Known to millions as the period doctor, Dr. Charis Chambers,

is a board-certified pediatric and adolescent gynecologists, educator, entrepreneur, and author of the new book, The Period and Puberty Parenting Revolution. Through her platform and her practice, she's helping families replace fear with understanding and silence with confidence. Kids family, please give a very warm welcome to Dr. Chars. Hello. Dr. Chars, thank you for coming by. Thank you for having me.

Yes, congratulations on your new book entitled The Period. puberty parenting revolution. How are you feeling today? Oh, I'm feeling so blessed. I think whenever you have something in your heart and your mind and then it comes to be a physical thing, you have to relish in the moment. Yes. And say, okay, okay, Lord, I see what you have done.

And there has to be a spirit of gratitude. Absolutely. So I know this is a busy time. You're a newfound author. You're also a gynecologist. But how are you balancing it all? You're a mother as well and a wife. This is something you've added to your place.

So how are you balancing it all? The plate is full. I literally message someone saying that. I'm managing it by being so, again, grateful for everything, but also very careful with what I say yes to. So as you start to have more visibility, and especially with publicity around a book, people say, oh, so you're doing things.

Can you do more things? I'm like, oh, my goodness, I'm sorry. I'm doing these things. I cannot accept more things. And so with a gracious spirit, I'm saying, oh, thank you so much for thinking of me. I genuinely appreciate it. My plate is as full as I can take it right now.

So I will have to decline. And that is how I've been protecting myself by saying no to other opportunities that are good, opportunities that used to, I would jump at. And I used to not have the discernment that is necessary in this season to say no to those things. But I say no with gratitude and understanding that this is the manifestation of abundance. It is more than I can carry. It is more than I can accept. And that's okay.

There's so much wisdom in what you just said. And you have to honor your no. I think it is so wise. Yeah. And I used to think no was always negative. But I mean the delivery of it, like with a smile and with hearts and with, thank you so much. But I cannot right now. Exactly.

And that's okay. And sometimes that no isn't forever. It's just right now I don't have the capacity. Yeah. And this season. I love that. That is so good. So before we get started, we're going to.

to dive into your book, but I want to play a game with you first. The game is called first instinct. Now, as a physician, you have learned to trust your training, but as a leader, you've also learned to trust your experience. So I'm curious what happens when those two instincts meet. I'm going to give you a few situations, and you just tell me your first instinct and why. All right? The first one is a parent says, my child isn't ready for this conversation. What is your first instinct and why? My first instinct is to follow up and say, why do you believe that and can I convince you otherwise? The reason is many parents, when they really say their child is not ready, they are often suggesting that they are not ready. And if they're saying their child has anxiety

around new things, it is actually in support of having the conversation ahead of the actual event taking place. It actually can be supportive of the narrative. And I think that's helpful. The other thing is, can I convince you otherwise? It's like, are you even open to another perspective? And that's before I spend my good time. Because I already told you I don't have much. Right. So is there an opportunity?

Are you open to being convinced otherwise? I think allows me to better allocate my time and efforts to know if they're ready to even have the conversation. That is so good. I love that. And that you hit on something. A lot of times our parents say that the child isn't ready, but it's really they're not ready.

You know, the kids grow up so fast. And they're like, wait, I actually am not ready for this. I'm not the one ready. Yeah, no, that's so true. Yes. All right, the next one is someone challenges something that you know to be true. What is your first instinct? My first instinct is to listen. I love listening.

It's my favorite. And I often can better understand their perspective. And so if I know it to be true in my lived experience, maybe there is a blind spot. Maybe there is some other thing I haven't considered. And so I want to better understand people before I respond. Again, it's a better use of my time, too, to really understand what the perspective is so that I can challenge it or not. Yeah, that's so good. God redirects a plan you've worked years to build.

What is your first instinct? This has happened to all of us. This has happened. Honestly, if I really being honest, my first instinct is to cry. And I think crying has been cathartic for me. It is what I do when I don't know what to do. It is how I release things. And when I don't give myself the opportunity to have a good cry, I tend to carry more than I need to.

So when there has been true time and effort and something that I've been working diligently toward and there's a divine redirection, there is still a grieving that has to take place. And then the follow-up thing is, now what would you have me to do? Because if you are redirecting me, what is the assignment? What is the next step? the crying, you know, it doesn't mean I'm giving up. It doesn't mean I don't have faith. It means I am a human being that feels and I feel very deeply. And I got to get it out the way so I can get back to what God has for me.

That is so good. I love that. I just had a conversation yesterday with, it was two men and a woman. And I was telling the guys that tears are healing. Oh, absolutely. A lot of, I think we're just finally getting to the point where they're okay to cry. And they feel they have a safe space to allow them. to feel those emotions. So it's so true. My first instinct is a cry too. Why?

I know. Now come on. We've been working on this. Right. I'm going to cry and get to it. Right. Absolutely. Last one is you have to choose between being liked or being honest. What is your first instinct? Every time it's being honest. Because if I am prioritizing being liked, I'm probably not going to be able to like myself after that. And I always say, I've got got to be the one to be able to rest my eyes, okay, and go to sleep at night, and I'm trying to get to heaven. So I don't need to be liked by people, and it's impossible to be consistently liked by people who are subject to passing wins and fancies.

So popular opinion is always changing. I need to love me and like me, and I'd rather be honest and go to sleep with a clean heart than to get the approval of someone who's going to change that approval or retracted at a later date. I love that. That is so good. I want to know, I know that you know now you have been called to care. Oh, yes.

At what age did you realize, when you look back as an adult and you look back over your life, were there moments throughout your childhood where you see like your calling was already evident in your life? You know, it's funny because there isn't one moment that I can identify. And I think that's a testament to just God kind of giving you just enough in the moment that you keep walking forward. I can remember in my youngest years, I'm the third child in my family.

So when you have older siblings, you are forced to be more of an observer than a leader. And being an observer, I found that I noticed things that people overlooked. I was often very emotionally aware of how actions and words affected other people. And it was almost as if I was like,

in some parts, like invisible in a room? Like you could just, you know, you were like this little fly on the wall, And I could see, oh, they didn't like that. You know, I was always that person. And even into medical school where you are just in the room, you know, shadowing, don't say too much, because you don't know nothing. You're here to learn.

I could see that as well. I could see the patient recoil when the leading physician said something they didn't like. I could see them have questions in their eyes as we're leaving the room. And the physician's like, well, I did my job. I'm like, no, you did. You know, I constantly had that emotional awareness. And so I think I knew emotional awareness was my. gift. I didn't know what to do with it. And so as I began to understand my role and my desire

for science and medicine, I said, well, what can I do differently with that? And it's funny because in my training, I was reprimanded for spending too much time with patients. They're like, you're not fast enough. And I'm like, you too quick. Because I'm in the room longer because you're not doing what you need to be doing. But you can't say that to your attending. You can't say that to the person who does your evaluation. So I'm like, okay, I'll take that down. So I just got better at it. I got better at my education and counseling. So I think God lets you be aware of certain gifts, and it is kind of that beautiful moment where all of those gifts start to align. You find your place, you start walking in that path, where each step forward gives you that confirmation.

Yes, I love that. As reading the book, I realize that curiosity also seems to be one of your superpowers. You don't just learn the information, but you pursue understanding, which is very important. How has staying curious shaped the woman that you are today? I think it has made me a lifelong learner. So people think that once you get the degrees and, you know, the board certification, you stop learning. I'm always learning. I'm constantly learning. And I learn from my patients.

I learn from their parents. I learn from all these people that I interact with in life because I'll never live their lives. I learn by reading. I learned by, you know, studying the latest research articles. But curiosity for me allows you to be the most alive that you are. And as life changes, as science advances, I never want to be left behind. I never want to be someone that's speaking out of a place that is not relevant and accurate. And so my curiosity is tied to my love of learning.

And I hope that that never goes away. Yes, I love that. So growing up, was there a defining moment like through grade school where you knew like this is the direction I want to go? I want to go into medicine? Or what was that defining moment for you? I actually didn't know I wanted to go into medicine until I was in college. Wow. So I went to Spelman College, not too far.

I'm from here. And I entered Spelman thinking, you know, I love science and math. Maybe I'll do something in math. Maybe I'll be like a math professor, unclear as to why I thought that was going to be my life. But as I got to really know math, and it just gets harder. I was like, I don't like this. I was like, I do not. I don't like this.

So I majored in biology. And I think just somewhere in my mind, my dad is a physician. I got to see him be the physician in our town and understand how respected he was and how he was an integral part of these milestones of people's lives. So I did have that perspective, but it wasn't until around my second year that I was like, well, if I'm a thought leader and I'm emotionally intelligent and I love science and I want to be an advocate, medicine allows me to do all of that. So let's pursue medicine.

And then once I was in med school, I do. then realized I wanted to do gynecology. Oh, that's amazing. So you went to Spelman, you earned your medical degree, you completed your OBGYN residency, and then you made the decision to specialize further in pediatric and adolescent gynecology. Now, what made you decide that was the specific area that you wanted to go into versus just helping adult women? What made you say, I want to focus on the children?

So first I want to say that when I heard that people used to leave, which is the most grueling, you know, three to five years of your life and then elect to do more training. I was like, y'all crazy. I was like, I will never be that fool. I was just like, what do you mean? Do you not like getting paid? Do you not like rest? Do you not like balance?

Some people are professional students. Right. They love it. I just, I never saw myself doing that. But when I was first exposed to pediatric and adolescent gynecology, I felt all of my gifts and all of my interests like come alive in the world. I was like, I can advocate for her. I can translate for her.

I can educate her. I can do this cross-generational, like, guidance. I mean, I was beyond thrilled at the way I could show up clinically. And so I never thought that I would be this person that did additional training. But for me, that was the best way for me to show up in that way. Also, in my residency training, life happened. Life happened in, like, a more significant way. So kind of important things, I was diagnosed with, like, a chronic illness in my residency.

and just realize that the life of an OBGYN in a general sense is very erratic. There's lack of sleep and all these things that just are not, don't promote good health. Absolutely. There's a lot of stress. You're in high stress situations. And the idea of so specializing felt more appealing where I could have more balance in my life and more control. Yes. And then in my residency, my mother also passed away.

And I think when you lose someone and someone who is your rock who I felt, felt like God put you on assignment to be my person. Right. Right. Yeah. Without, and she passed away before I met my husband. So, you know, you're just kind of just feeling like you're just out here. The only thing that kept me motivated was purpose.

Yeah. Like, the only thing that gives me joy is showing up for someone else and doing something that liberates them or heals them. So those things made fellowship and specializing that much more urgent and important. Yeah. That's so good. You talked about how grueling residency was. Take us through some of like what that's like so people can understand what you all go through to get to be the doctors that you are.

Yes. Oh, my gosh. Residency is this strange time where you work on average 80 hours a week. So 80 hours a week, and that is improvement. So my father, when he was in residency, there were no work hour restrictions. You just did what you had to do. But then they had some research that came out as like, if they never sleep, they don't operate very well. We're actual surgeons.

So we do need to have like dexterity and know what things are. And so 80-hour weeks was just the standard for four years. There were times where I was like, oh my goodness, I have a golden weekend. A golden weekend is when you have both days off. Like Saturday, Friday and Saturday. Oh, wow. I mean Saturday and Sunday rather. Because that was so rare.

In residency, I had three total weeks of vacation, including holiday. days. And so it's just out of, well, three total weeks per year. My apologies. But it's just not a lot. So you're like, am I going to see my folks for Thanksgiving? I'm going to see them for Christmas? I'm not going to, when am I going to travel meaningfully?

Right. And then you're not getting paid very well. Like you're getting technically from an hourly standpoint, you're getting paid less minimum wage. You do 24-hour shifts. And I remember being like, how does one stay up for 24 hours? And then your body just adjusts, not well. Yeah.

But you just learn to. There's shifts where you're just. up at night. So there's night float or night shift where you're up for 12 hours at night. You come in at 7 p.m. leave at 7 a.m. And so it's just the strangest thing where your life is work. And the idea is that you need to get so much exposure and see so many clinical scenarios to be trusted with lives in your hands, to be trusted with the lives of a mother and a baby, to be able to do a cesarean section and get a baby out in 45 seconds because It's an emergency.

To be able to control bleeding and keep your composure. So those are things that need to be tested rapidly and with repetition. And so there is a reason for it, but it is hard on your body. Oh, yeah. It is hard on your mind. It's hard on your soul. I was talking to a resident because I do work with residents now. I say, you couldn't pay me.

Ain't no amount of money you could pay me to go back to where you are. And she was like, I know. But I'm sure that they love to have someone like you that's leading them versus the people who are saying you're moving too slow. You're actually teaching them how to properly care because so many doctors don't have good bedside manner. So many. And now I see why because they've been taught, hurry up.

You keep going. Right. Keep it going. The system doesn't reward good bedside manner, but my patients appreciate it. Absolutely. And I am there for my patients. And that makes all the difference. I love that I'm out of training.

and I can just get that affirmation every single day. I love that. I love that. So there's physicians all over the world that are seeing the same things that you see every day, but not all of them have felt the call to write a book. What made you decide I want to build my platform and I want my voice to be public? Yeah. So I started my platform, my social media platform, when I was in fellowship.

I had been at that point, I'd done four years in medical school, four years of OB-GYN residency, and was one. one year through my two-year fellowship program. I was tired. I was very tired. And I just felt like the delayed part of the delayed gratification was just taking a long time. I also was, again, searching for purpose. My mom had passed, and I just needed something to fill my cup.

So this wasn't the most, like, selfless endeavor. It was something that was going to make me feel like I was making an impact today. So I said, well, if I'm talking to my patients and they're constantly, saying nobody explains this like you. Like, why didn't they just say that? I said, well, maybe this is my gift. Maybe I could leverage this and put this on social media so that more people could see it.

Also, I'm texting with people I went to school with, my college classmates, my line sisters. They're like, now remind me if I miss a birth control people, what do I do? I'm like, I told you this multiple times. Or what is a UTI? I'm like, there's Google. It's right there, it's free.

But they want to hear it for me. Yeah, because you explain indifferently and trust the source. Exactly. So it was the trust aspect. I said, well, let me leverage this and just go on social media. So I started just making posts. I would make them as I studied for my oral boards, just on random topics. And it just blew up. I was like, come again. So I started to realize there was a perspective that I had and a desire that I had that was not common. And so then as I was seeing more patience and throughout my practice, there was so much I wanted to touch on, even in my own time, without somebody being like, girl, do faster. I do not have time to touch on all of this. Seeing that, like, this mom brought this daughter in to talk about her period, but I need to talk to this mother because she is having some. I mean, she is grieving.

She is sobbing because of the fears that she has in her heart about what her daughter's going to go through. And that's not something that I can code in the medical chart. That's not something insurance is going to understand that I spent 10 minutes talking to her. Like, your baby's going to be okay. Yes, this is hard. I know you suffered through your periods. Maybe she won't suffer. Can you tell me more?

You know, like, I felt this desire to speak to all of these things, taboos, concerns, fears, traumas, and I don't have time. And so I said, I need to write this down. And I love social media. I love making videos. But there's something so, I don't know, like, just temporary about a three-minute video or a clip. So I said, I feel like books just live on. They live on longer. There's something that put your words in a way that they can reference repeatedly.

and this is the format. So that's how I ended up here. So as you began to blow up on social media, you're a resident at the time. I'm a fellow. A fellow at the time. Okay, so it goes from resident to fellow to doctors. Yes.

Okay. In that order. Was there ever a moment where your peers, because this was something that people didn't normally do that you saw any jealousy or like people ahead of you, the doctor's like, hey, you need to like. What's so interesting is that when I started, this was before, you know, the pandemic, before things really blew up on social media in that way.

They just thought I was a little crazy. Like, and I told my peers, like my co-fellows, because you're in this same boat together as trainees. So I never wanted them to feel like I was just doing random endeavors in like a deceptive way. So I just let them know one day in our little workroom like, hey guys, I'm going to start an Instagram where I start educating. They're like, okay, like you're not busy enough, girl? Right. And that was just, that was kind of the response. But as the pandemic started, and people started to leverage social media in that way, and it began to blow up.

A lot of doctors were very vocal during that time. I had even one of my attending doctors who were like our bosses. I was like, can you teach me how to do social media? Oh. I was like, oh my gosh, that's so sweet. For a price. Because what are you talking about? I don't have free time.

Hello. So you could see the shift was happening, but it hadn't happened when I first started. So I think that protected me for any type of. of jealousy or anything. I don't think anyone anticipated that it would be that big. Wow. Which was fun because I didn't either. I just thought I was just doing a little education thing.

I didn't think I could make money. I had no real plans to make a business. Yeah. Just all kind of happened. I love that. That's so cool. Eating well shouldn't be complicated, but somehow it turns into recipes,

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Join Yamanika Saunders as she breaks down the week's most problematic stories on her new podcast. You're the problem with Yamanika. Do you know I just found out who Sidney Sweeney was? New episodes weekly every Wednesday is part of my new network, the Dear Chelsea Network. If he got a bunch of women, then I should have a bunch of men. Do better or do less, so I don't have to do so much. So join Yamanika each episode as she answers one question. Who's the problem?

I'm Yamanika, and I'm out. Listen to You're the problem with Yamanika on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast. Now, I know that working in your field, you see so many different things. And there's a lot of weight that you have to carry. What are some of the scenarios that you can share that have really, like, hit you where you're like, this is a tough day? Oh. You know, there's so many times.

days. I think a lot of people think that in my field I'll see primarily young girls who have been mistreated and abused. And that is a subset of what I do. But there's still a lot of reasons why girls need to see a gynecologist that are not that extreme. Exactly. Even so, I tend to see those people too. And the amount of things that our youngest folks have seen and experience, even at the hands of folks who were supposed to protect them. Oh my God, it breaks my heart. And I have had to leave rooms because I'm like breaking down. One girl was telling me her story about what she had survived.

And I am just like uncontrollably crying. And she wasn't. And she was young. And I just remember being like, you just look at her and you would never know all she's carried. all the nightmare she has survived. And she still looked joyful and had protective folks in her life at that time. But my God, it just speaks to,

it constantly reminds me and calibrates my perspective on you don't know what people are going through. And so there is a lot that I can't share because of HIPAA purposes and, you know, all that. But there's a lot of, this world is so dark and it's so hard for a lot of people. And then it is so bright and it's so beautiful.

And the people who have limitations and disabilities and things will be some of the most remarkable people that I see. So it just, it reminds me continually with the expansiveness of God, the goodness of God, and the need and the mandate for grace. That's good. Thank you. One of the chapters that I love the title for was, it's not about you, but it is. And I thought that was probably one of the most honest titles that you could have given that chapter. What inspired that title? Oh, gosh.

So when I first thought about writing my book and when you write books that goes through so many iterations, I was thinking, do I need to do like a ton of parenting profiles and how what parents experience, how that affects how they show up for their kids? But that isn't the most useful thing. You know, while you could do that and it would be entertaining. When you're trying to create a resource, you want to limit unnecessary rhetoric around mistakes and give as much insight into opportunities and inappropriate guidance. And so when I realized that parents still need to know how powerful their influence is,

but they need to know that that influence needs to be wielded in a framework that centers your child. Like how do you balance it? And that is what it is. It is nuance. It is duality. And that's what this conversation calls for. I also think that's why so many people don't want to have it.

Because it takes time, it takes sensitivity, it takes consideration and compassion to say, I understand why you feel that way. It makes sense that you feel that way. This is an appropriate response to that. But the outcome you desire is not on the other side of that. So it's not about you, but it is means center your child, right? But understand where your lived experience has impact and modified according to the outcomes you desire. Because if you don't, and if you are not aware of that, you will be.

be speaking from borrowed scripts, you will be perpetuating misconceptions, you will be passing down generational shame and you won't even know it. I think a lot of us are healing from that as adults from the passed down generational curses and shame. Absolutely. Many of the people in our lives who are the main folks that pass that down did so unknowingly or unintentionally. To this day, if you ask them, if they made period shame, they'd be like, no, I just told

you not to tell nobody. I just said you can't talk about it. It's like, that is the same. Right. Yeah. That is such. And something that align that stayed with and you said, your child's puberty is not your chance at puberty redo.

Oh, gosh. Powerful. It matters. Because a lot of times parents, they take the trauma that they had and then they put it on their child, oftentimes unknowingly. Yes. And they overcorrect. And it's so clear.

It is so clear. when that happens. You see a mom that says, she's not having a boyfriend until she is 18 and she's not talking to our boys and she's not going to happen. And I'm like, can you tell me your story? And their story is often at 14.

They fell in love with this smooth talking little, you know, boy on the JV basketball, you know, you're just like, what? You know what I'm saying? And that derailed them. And so, you know, what they... I'm like, okay. That was me. Right, that was, right.

That was yo. right that's your stories um but it's so important to know that your baby is not you yes just because they have you your influence in half your genetics doesn't mean they are you yeah and so to reduce them to only your storyline in this corrective type of way where you're using white out on your story and not giving them even the opportunity to write their own story is so unfair yeah it's just unfair and it's profoundly limiting it's almost like if you survive to flood, you teach your kid how to build a boat, right? If you were in a hellstorm, you teach them how to build a roof. But your child might need a roof, you talk about a boat. Right.

You know what they're just like, protect them. Give them what they need. And the only way you'll know what they need is to allow them to live their life. That's so good. Now, you are a mother now. Yes. How has writing this book, has it shifted your perspective on anything or has it made you really dial in? But you have a little boy. So it'll be a different conversation for him. when the time comes for puberty, but has writing this book shaped any different ideas that you had around this? Yeah, I think that writing, actually I think motherhood impacted the book more than the book impacted my motherhood. Wow. Because I actually wrote the majority of this book while pregnant and postpartum.

Yeah, that was not my plan. Would not recommend zero out of ten. So when I got my book deal, I did not know that I was pregnant at the time. I found out like a few days later. So I'm like, I inked it like, oh yeah, March 3rd of 2025. Sounds great or whatever. My baby was born November 30th of 2024. I was like, I have three months to get my manuscript together.

You know, I'd written some of it, but also being pregnant with your first child, your brain just goes to, I'm preparing for this baby. Like what, you know, all the things you need to get together. So a lot of it was writing during like the metrescence period where my brain, is literally rewiring. I have no sleep. But what I was able to access that I never had access to before

was this unquantifiable love that I have for my child that I was able to understand and write in a way that considered it for the parents that would read this book. So instead of me questioning your love for your child, I'm going to write assuming profound and deep love for your child.

I'm going to write, assuming that your intentions are to give your child the very best life because that's what I have. Those are my intentions. I'm sitting here on Reddit looking up how I'm supposed to put him to sleep, you know, looking up every possible thing, all the resources in the world. I wanted to treat parents that would pick up my book in the same way as someone whose heart is seeking the right resources. And I think I don't know that I would have been able to write in that way if I didn't do so as a new mom.

I love that. That's so good. Now, we already touched on generational curses. Is there something a belief that you may have inherited or something that you're already intentionally passing on to your child? Is there something that you want to pass on to him as he gets older? Yes. Oh, my gosh, there's so much that I want to pass on to him.

I think that my mother did a great job of letting us know as young girls that there were no limits in what we could do. And she did that by living by example. So she was an attorney. And she went to school. And when she was at school, talking to, like, her advisors and things, and she told them she wanted to go to law school. They were like, no. Like, what makes you think you could do that?

You know, but she's in school in the 80s, young black girl from LaGrange, Georgia. And they just didn't feel like they could see that in her. And my mom was very clear in that no one has to see in you what you see in yourself. And I have never, for one moment, doubted what I could do in this world because of the mother. that raised me because of the family that I have that just leads with encouragement. They are not a limit, you know, limited thinking type of family. And so that is something I want to pass down to my son that there are no limits in what you can do.

What is important is trusting yourself and leaning into, you know, your faith to discover those gifts and then pursue them fully and be a good steward of them. That's so good. I love that. That's beautiful. Thank you. I love that. I want to talk about the weight of the truth.

that you carry as a doctor. You've had to have so many uncomfortable conversations with parents and probably children letting them know the reality of their circumstances. Have you always been comfortable with having uncomfortable conversations or was it something you had to develop? For some reason, I have always valued uncomfortable conversations because uncomfortable conversations are not, they don't create the discomfort, right? They give you an opportunity to address it.

And I've always thought about them as opportunities to modify, to educate, to improve. It doesn't change reality. Oftentimes when I'm telling patients about a diagnosis or putting it in context where their future, future fertility or what have you, I ain't changed nothing. Sometimes they were born with this. I'm like, this been 15 years in the making, okay? Right. We are finally able to name it.

We're finally able to give, to validate what you've suspected. We're finally able to create a plane. that aligns with all of the questions and goals and desires that you have. So I have always been more inclined to addressing things than not. I believe it's just because this is reality. Yes. And, you know, shying away from that and avoiding it makes it no less of a reality. It just robs me or you have the opportunity of doing anything about it.

And I've always felt like I had agency in anything. Like there's still something I can do. I don't control everything. Right. But when I do control, I want to be able to do that to the best of my ability. And so I approach these conversations in that same way. I want to talk about the statistics in science. A lot of times we don't know what the statistics are around young children and the things that they may carry.

A lot of times we think it's, oh, this is just what adult women or men go through. What are some of the things that you see arising when it comes to young women that most people may be oblivious to, that they're facing now. There are so many things that people are oblivious to you. But one of the things that I like to highlight, and I do highlight in my book, is the potential for these real conditions that we do just decide in our minds belong to older women

than presenting in our younger girls from the onset of menstruation. So the youngest age that I've personally diagnosed with endometriosis was 12. Wow. But people think it's got to be in adults. Now it's like, now why do we believe that? So when we take it out of the context of reproductive health, we know that there are babies that need heart transplants.

We know that they're young babies and children with heart disease. It doesn't mean they have a heart attack from 20 years of smoking, right? Right. It's like that's not the ideology is not the same. They don't acquire these things in the same way necessarily, but there's still some risk. And so there's some congenital things that affect our young girls. But endometriosis is something that we don't even understand all that well. The idea that it just arises in adult women doesn't make a ton of sense.

They have all the parts, so it can be there. What contributes to that misconception is the historical and patriarchal dismissal of women and girls in their pain until it is related to having a baby, until it's related to something that men in society say, oh, that's worthwhile. Having children is a worthwhile endeavor. Let me address it then. So we're often addressing it when women want to have babies, not when they are just wanting to exist. and make the cheer team or go to grad school or all these other things that are of value. Yes.

So we used to just say we don't care until then or they're too young for this, but that's not true. So your child is not too young to have PMS. They're not too young for PMDD-E-D even. They're not too young for endometriosis. They're not too young for debilitating pain. They're not too young for a lot of things that we have miscategorized as an adult affliction

just because that's when we start listening. Wow. Oh, my goodness. Wow. What is, because I'm asking in ignorance, when it comes to fibroids, I know there is a connect, there's a connected with endometriosis and fibroids. Sometimes you hear the two come up at the same time. How early in age can those start to develop?

And what is the youngest? There's an association between endometriosis and fibroids. People can have both. And there's often a dismissal in that regard where if someone sees fibroids on an ultrasound, they're like, that's your problem. But there can be two things that are true at once. I've met someone that was like, I have fibroids, I have adenomyosis, and I have endometriosis. I was like, hang, girl.

So you can have multiple things. Fibroids do tend to have an onset that is earlier in black women. And so they'll say like, oh, the peak age of onsets around 30s or 40s. It can be younger in black women. That's what the research shows. So there's a woman who leads a fibroid organization that I work with. Her fibroids started in her. 20s. And everyone kept saying you can't have that many fibroids in your 20. Like that can't happen.

It can. I've seen it in teenagers. And that's rare. Yeah. But it is possible. And so having one, a healthy index of suspicion is appropriate, but also just listen to your patience is important. And when we say listen to women and trust women, we need to extend that same listening and trust to girls. Yeah. Wow. Yeah. Yeah. I, as we were talking, as we were talking to, and I was like, I want to know. Yeah. Because we do always think, oh, that's in older women. Or as you get older, you need to get checked for this, not understanding.

And now with science and having better understanding that a lot of the pain that girls were probably feeling at 12 and 13 was endometriosis, but they didn't have language for it. There was a study that showed about a third of people that were diagnosed with endometriosis in their older age, said that they had it in their teen years from their earliest period and they knew it was debilitating. They told people it was. Yes. It just wasn't, it wasn't valued. It wasn't considered.

Yeah, I had friends that dealt with it. I never dealt with it. For some reason, like, I was blessed to not deal with it until I got older. And I ended up changing my diet and my cramps changed. But it was to the point where I'd be on my knees, the cramps were so bad. Like, I couldn't even stand up straight because it hurt so bad. And then when I changed my diet, that's when, like, I can. literally not take Tylenol. I may have like a little headache, but I can push through.

Yes. And a lot of, you talk about it's higher in African American women. And I've heard it's because of like the stress levels, the trauma that is passed down from years versus our Caucasian counterparts. Is there true to that? Or how do you feel? There's, there's some validity to that. There is no one cause. So it's, we say it's multifactorial. But that is one of the most consistent things that we see because not every, you know, black person lives in a lower socioeconomic kind of setting. Not every one of us has, you know, lower education or whatever. There's a lot of variety there. The one thing that we all experience is racism, right? Right. You know what I'm saying? Like, that's the unifying factor. That's what contributes to black maternal

mortality, right? That's by Serena Williams had to go advocate for herself when she had her second pulmonary embolism, they didn't believe her. That's crazy. So that bias is the most consistent factor where diet and education and access and incomes vary. That is the unifying thing. And so I do think that plays a role. Obviously, there's other things we can change. It's multifactorial, but I think there's true to that.

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Bell, connection is everything. This is Chelsea Handler from Dear Chelsea. Every week, the news gets worse. The world gets crazier and Yamanika is here to tell us. whoever's responsible, you're the problem. If you come over here to play games, I'ma check you. Okay? If you do some in the news that don't sound good, I'm going to play you.

Join Yomeneika Saunders as she breaks down the week's most problematic stories on her new podcast. You're the problem with Yamanika. Do you know I just found out who Sidney Sweeney was? New episodes weekly every Wednesday is part of my new network, the dear Chelsea Network. If he got a bunch of women, then I should have a bunch of men. Do better or do less so I don't have to do so much. So join Yamanika each episode as she answers one question. Who's the problem?

I'm Yamanika, and I'm out. Listen to You're the Problem with Yamanika on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast. I'm Nick Titoro. You probably know me from NYPD Blue, the longest yard, or Spike Least Black Klansman. But I'm also from Queens. which means I know pizza. And on my new podcast, delivering happiness with Nick Totoro,

I deliver pizza from Prince Street pizza to a new guest. Are you delivering pizza now? Then we sit down for a real conversation. I've shared a slice with everyone from Seth Rollins. What are you doing, my belt? To Alex Rodriguez. Just to let you people know, we're talking to one of the goats here.

To Bill Burr. I don't think I've ever met somebody so exactly out of their mind as I am. And now, we even have more great guests coming up, including the great John's attention. It's called happiness, delivering happiness. Mariano Rivera. Oh my God.

And many, many more. Open your free high-heart radio app. Search Delivering Happiness with Nick Detourouro. And listen now. Is there something that we can tell women when they're going to the doctor to how to speak up for themselves? Even young girls who, if some college students are watching and they don't have the language, what can they tell their doctor so that the doctor can like, because sometimes you can say, hey, I'm having really bad cramps or heavy bleeding.

And they're like, oh, no, they just kind of brush it off. like how can you make sure that you get the extra care you need because so many times we hear women saying oh they just they just sent me home with a little prescription right and then two years down the line it turned to something way worse than what it has started off because they didn't get ahead of it absolutely so a few of the things that I do even one with my patients that I model for them and then when I go to my doctor I always speak about my symptoms in the context of impact so it's not oh I'm having so much pain I'm having so much pain that I cannot go to work, that I cannot do my daily activities. So I had like a nerve thing during my pregnancy. I cannot stand while cooking. I have to sit while I'm doing my hair or makeup and it is debilitating. Dabilitating is a good word. Toss her around.

Okay, it means it is preventing me. I'm doing what I gotta do. And so even in the medical context, when we talk about conditions and things that are difficult to characterize, when it dips into negatively affect affect, your daily activities, that is a quantifiable thing. That is something that gets your attention and it often tips it into just an inconvenience into like a disorder. Right.

So that's one thing you can do. Another thing that I like to model to my patients is having written down ahead of time a goal for that visit. So when I went to like my nephrologist, for example, I was like, I need a plan for what I'm going to do from a pregnancy standpoint. I knew I wanted to have a baby. I knew I wanted to be a mother. What does it look like?

I need you to address it and give me a clear plan of what the next steps are. And so having a goal for yourself allows you to assess if that goal was met or not. You're just walking in there willy-nilly like, hey, what's up? Like it's hard to know if your visit was successful or not. And it's hard for me as a doctor to know what you want out of this visit. So I tell my patients and whenever I speak, I tell folks, you know, a good doctor-patient relationship is a meeting of experts. It is collaborative. So I am the expert in medicine.

You are the expert in you, your body, your life, your goals. We have to meet as two experts that are fully showing up to have a collaborative and productive conversation. So I need you to take up space. I need to take up space and we need to make a decision together. So I want patients, college students, young folks to know you need to take up space. Your voice is necessary. Yes. It is necessary for us to get the best outcome.

That's good. Thank you. Because I know people are going to have follow-up questions. after this conversation. So I want to leave them with some things that I'm already thinking about as we're talking. I want to ask, as your influence has grown, what are you most protective of now?

Because as you continue to become more known, there are certain things you have to protect. What are you protecting now? Oh, gosh. I'm so protective of the people and the opportunities that I, like, accept. So I'm protective of, like, my heart and my exposure, I think is the best way to frame that.

Yeah. me, you know, every opportunity isn't a good opportunity. Come on. Right? Every space that wants to hear you speak doesn't want to necessarily celebrate you or elevate you. No. There are people that are just trying to feel time.

There are people who are looking for a punching bag. There are people who are looking for someone to just dump on. Yeah. And I believe that my work is too important and my calling is too high to put myself in situations where it is not, advancing God's purpose and will from my life. So protecting what I, you know, me from whatever opportunity, that's hard. Because when I first started, I mean, if somebody hit my line, I'll be there.

Yeah, I'm on the way. Where? Let me know where, you know. You can pay me, you know, $5 like whatever. I was just happy to do the work, right? But I have learned that when people value you, they value your time. Yes. They make sure that it aligns with you that it's mutually beneficial. and you can tell with how they show up with you, how they handle you, how they're going to partner with you. Absolutely. And so I'm much more protective of that as a result of limited time.

But also just having seen it, and it's like, wow, I really wish I hadn't done that. What are the signs? How can I better identify good opportunities? And just praying about it. Like, hey, God, all this looks good. I can do two. Which two?

He'd be so kind as to choose. That'd be great. I love that. That's good. I want to ask, you spent your career preparing other people for their biggest life transitions. How do you stay open to God preparing you for seasons that you don't even know that are coming up next? Oh, Lord. It's so hard because the things I say to my patients like, yes, it's difficult and it's uncertain and your body's changed, you know.

But it's okay. People have gone through it. I say that it don't even work on me. Like I'm opening my own practice right now. Amazing. And, oh, God, thank you. Wow. And it is amazing.

But it is so scary and it is so hard. And I'm making decisions about stuff. I ain't never made a decision about. Like, specifications, do you want this to be 26 inches or 24? I don't know. What are you talking? What do you mean? Like, I am making these decisions that terrify me.

And I was listening to a pastor's week. And he was saying, you don't want clarity. You want certainty. And when I tell you, that gathered me? I was like, come again? Because I want certainty that my efforts will be successful. And I keep planning to God like, what is the answer? What is the right?

No, you want certainty. You want a certain outcome. And so much of life is existing in uncertainty and walking by faith. And walking by faith, if you knew the whole path, ain't walking by faith, right? It's just not. And so these life transitions, especially in this season, where there is, is elevation, elevation comes with a greater risk from falling, right? The greatest risk of failure is the thing that's the most successful. Something that ain't successful, you ain't got

much failure to be had, you know? Just like every time you elevate that fall is going to hurt that much more. And so just trusting in God that if I fall, it won't destroy me. If I make a mistake, God will fix it, that he didn't bring me this far, you know, to leave me, all of those things. So I have to coach myself in the ways that I coach my patients, understanding that's easier said than done, that giving yourself grace is something that you learn by doing. But yeah, it's hard. And I'm still afraid. Lots of things afraid. But God is good.

And so I just have to lean on that. That's perfect. And we could not end on a better note. Thank you so much. Every season, we choose a word to guide our conversations. And this season, the word is purpose. I want to ask you, Dr. Chares, what does purpose mean to you today? Purpose for me is the impact I can have while being obedient to the calling God has given me.

People look at you and they have so many things they want to do with you and your gifts and skills. And they're like, ooh, this could be purposeful. But the only purpose I want to be concerned with is the one that God has for me. And so I better understand what that looks like when it aligns with what I know God has called me to do and the gifts that he's given me. And I'm so grateful. Like all of this, being here with you, it is me living in my purpose. I love it. Thank you so much. I've completely enjoyed this conversation thoroughly. You are a gym and I'm so excited for everyone to get your book. I can't wait to share. We're going to have to make this a part of the Sweetie Social Club Book Club.

Yes, absolutely. Is there anything else that we can support you in? Oh, gosh. You know, if you read my book and you love it, just review it. It's so crazy how reviews matter a lot. I didn't realize that. And so if you have something positive to say. Keep it positive, sweetie. You know, share this with someone, write a review, let people know. And if you have someone in your life who has periods or will have periods, show up for them, however you can. and you don't have to be perfect, but showing up for them can make a world of a difference. Dr. Chars, thank you so much.

Thank you. So good. Sweeties, if today's conversation reminds you of anything, I hope it's this. The conversations we choose to have today can shape generations tomorrow. Never underestimate the power of asking the question, telling the truth, and leading with compassion.

Dr. Chars, thank you so much. And, sweetie, be sure to pick up Dr. Chars new book, The Period in Puberty Parenting Revolution, available now wherever books are sold. And don't forget, Kip's Live is happening Friday at the Buckhead Theater right here in Atlanta, Georgia. Tickets are on sale now, and I cannot wait to see you guys there. If today's episode encouraged you, inspired you, or made you think a little differently, be sure to subscribe, leave us a comment, and share this episode with someone who needs to hear it. Until next time, keep it positive, sweeties. I'll see you guys this week.

Hey, Portlandia fans. Carrie Brownstein and Fred Armisen here. The Dream of the 90s is alive in podcast form. We're launching Podlandia, AEO rewatch, our brand new podcast where we revisit every episode of Portlandia together, breaking down sketches, going deep on our iconic characters, and pulling back the curtain on how it all got made. And we'll also be joined by the people who helped bring it all to life. Guest stars, collaborators, and friends, including director Jonathan Chrysall, the mayor himself, Kyle McLaughlin, legendary musician Amy Mann and many more.

Kyle is going for it here. You fully improvised, not just words, but a song. Well, I thought you were all going to write a song. I remember you thinking that. Listen to Podlandia. A.O. Rewatch on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. What's up, fam? I'm sports journalist Ari Chambers. Hey, what's up, y'all? It's your girl, Sam J.

And we're the host of Everyone Watches Women's Sports, a new podcast from Together and IHart Women's Sports. We're breaking down the biggest headlines. Naomi Osaka, showing out. Shout out to you, Naomi. The viral moments. I've been obsessed with Kashan Rocks, boxing journey. She looks good. Her combos are swift.

And the stories everyone's talking about across women's sports. Because everyone watches women's sports. Listen to everyone watches women's sports. On the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcast, or wherever you get your podcast. Hey, this is Hayes Davenport. And Sean Clemens. We host the podcast Hollywood Handbook. Every episode we're trying to help our guests improve their careers by mainly focusing

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Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. I'm Nick Tuturo. You probably know me from NYPD Blue, The Longest Yard, or Spike Lease Black Klansman. And on my new podcast, delivering happiness with Nick Tutoral, I deliver pizza to a nice. new guests. I've shared a slice with everyone from Seth Rollins. What are you doing my belt? To Bill Burr. I don't think I've ever met somebody so exactly

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