Keeping Records - A Return to Modesty (with Naomi McPherson)

Episode Date: January 1, 2021

Musician and producer Naomi McPherson (of MUNA) plans their Gold Record with Caleb and Shelby. Naomi's Artifacts Robyn's "Dancing On My Own" (audio) Kim Cattrall Scatting (audio-visual) Teenage emotions and forgetting what it's like to have them (human experience) Original Voyager Artifact Chuck Berry, "Johnny B. Goode" (audio) Follow the show @keepingrecordspod Advertise on Keeping Records via Gumball.fm See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This is a HeadGum Original. In 1977, NASA sent two solid gold records into space, so that aliens might find them and understand life on Earth. I send greetings on behalf of the people of our planet. And friendly wishes to all who may encounter this voyager. Now, we're making new records with our friends. Bonjour tout le monde. Konnichiwa.

Assalamu alaikum. We step out of our solar system into the universe seeking only peace and friendship, we know full well that our planet and all its inhabitants are but a small part of this immense universe that surrounds us. Hello from the children of planet Earth. Wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow. Hi, Shelb. Hey, Caleb. How you doing, brother? Oh, wow, wow, wow. Hi, Shelb. Hey, Caleb. How you doing, brother?

Oh, brother pastor, I am doing swell. Brother pastor? Brother pastor, what business do you have today? I really burnt my mouth before this. I saw it happen in real time. Let me paint a word picture. Really good singing. Yeah, really good.

Unfortunately gorgeous. Let me paint you a word picture. I made myself a green tea because I wanted my throat to be silky smooth for the recording. And I took a sip of

said tea and it was so hot that I spit it all over myself like a little baby. Had to change my clothes. And the way you are. And yeah, I mean, I think it did change me like on kind of a deep intellectual level. I see the world differently now that I've been hurt the way that I have. Standpoint theory in a way. I don't know what that means but i want to paint a picture for the listeners fans friends and ambassadors of the pod i was sitting on our patio reading your magical thinking by joe and didion come on kind of in a sad space shelbyspace. Shelby comes out, immediately burns her mouth on the hottest tea you've ever seen.

Starts kind of panting, yelling to me about it. I'm fully in the middle of reading about Joan Didion's husband dying. Really stressful vibes in the area. Yeah. So in a way, it's like I got burned. Yeah. You got burned in the heart. I got burned in the mouth.

Don't whisper in the mouth. Don't whisper in the mouth. Is there anything else going on with you that we should talk about before we bring in our incredible guest? I don't know. Is this a leading question? Is there something I did that you want to talk about? Yeah. What if I was like, I noticed you left the kitchen door open before going to sleep last night. Listeners, we don't have a kitchen door.

I meant to say refrigerator door. God, I'm so fucking sick of existing as me. When will it end? When will it end? I think we should bring in our guests. I think it's a pretty good time. Our guests today on the pod. Is spectacular. They're an iconic musician.

They soundtrack most of our night drives. That is true. And you know them from the band Moona. Please help us welcome icon, inventor of music, best friend, Naomi McPherson! Wow. Thank you. That is a welcome the likes of which the world has never seen. So thank you so much.

We're actually wearing out the fake crowd sound. But we love it. It's just like, it's such a vibe. It brings an energy that cannot be replaced by something else. It paints a picture. It paints a picture. Are we gonna do snap? Naomi.

Jazz hands? Jazz hands on the pod. The listeners have no idea, but it's like 30 seconds of silence And we're just Just enjoying Naomi what's going on with you this week? Do you have anything to report? Listen as a musician in the pandemic

I don't do anything at all I wake up every day with a dream A wish a desire a way to better myself And I don't achieve any of those things But nothing new, nothing new to report Not really I mean, we're in the studio a bit here and there Making music

Hanging out outside, like, mostly But then going inside and being like, we should actually do some work Doing work And then, yeah, and then going home and eating dinner at 4.30. And then going to bed, being like, oh, it's late. What time is it? 7.30. I'm exhausted.

And you live in? I'm in LA. Yeah. Yes. Thank God. Oh, thank God. So much to discuss. Ever since we moved here, we've been real LA heads.

If you're not in LA. The 101? Come on. The 5, the 10? Backed up? Backed up. Does it get better? It doesn't get better.

The 110? I was on the 110 today. I was on the 110 today. Let me tell you. This is the three of us should record a sketch as people who love LA traffic. Oh, I can barely get home today. And in a way, that's exciting because it means that the city's alive. Honestly, first traffic back when things are normal will be kind of inspiring.

Everyone's out. I was like a little bummed when like after there was like the first three weeks in March. Were you living here at the time or were you were you not in la we moved in okay in the pandemic levato so you'll have to tell us wow teach us there was just no one on the freeways you could get to malibu in 15 minutes this is a very la conversation it was a huge deal me and my girlfriend were going on hikes we were driving far we were being safe with masks. God forbid. And now there seems to be traffic again.

So, hmm. Capitalism, which we can get into, but, you know, makes me sick. But I also love traffic. That's actually why we brought you on. We were like, Naomi, we've been hearing rumors that you love capitalism. It's really nice that you cleared that up because we were uncomfortable about it. But we didn't want to. Because it's like bad host. And people don't want to go there but you know we're not here take us there we go there um no but in all seriousness we brought you on for a reason

today we really did we're compiling something for space we We're doing something really cool and we just wanted to know if you were going to make your own golden records to send into space like NASA did in 1977. What would you put on it? On it. On it. On it.

On it. On it. On it. On it. What would you put on it? I would, to touch briefly on what they sent to space, when they sent it to space, I listened to the playlist that was sent to me to review, to study, to learn from today. And I noticed that there were really no, there were no bangers or slappers, really. It was almost completely devoid of bangers. So true. So I'd hope there would be more bangers this time around. So if we want to just get it right out of the way,

we can talk about the greatest pop song ever written by a white person. That's a caveat. Thank you. The greatest pop song ever written by the greatest white pop star uh current uh dancing on my own by by the swedish pop star robin yes yes exactly that 100 percent that Yes. Yes. 100%. Exactly that.

100% that. I'm in the corner watching you kiss her. We did it really slow. We did the Callum whatever his name. The Callum Scott. Is that his name? We did the Callum Scott. Not bad.

We say, Robin's great. And thank you for bringing Robin to the table. We're going to bring Callum Scott. We say, Robin's great, and thank you for bringing Robin to the table. We're going to bring Callum Scott. We're going to bring Callum to the table. If we're sending up Robin. We're going to counter. Hey, we take your first offer. We're going to counter and slide you a number across the table.

It's a little piece of paper. It says Callum Scott. It says Callum Scott, and that's what we're. Naomi, I want to tell you my favorite part of that song. Okay, go ahead. I don't know if you're related or not. And if you don't, I certainly do want you to push back. Okay.

Robin says... And then, I don't know what this instrument is, but... What is that instrument? I'm pretty sure that's like a very reverbed out like clave or like wood block. That's one of the most iconic parts of the whole song. That is a vocal part. Like that is, that's a huge-

You have to go, you have to go. Yeah, you have to mime it and you, or you have to sing it out loud. It's crucial. And I think like we, pretty much anyone who makes pop music or indie pop or whatever now is trying to replicate like the genius that is that like specific part

that has become so beloved in that song. It's genius. It's iconic. And it comes in, not at the beginning, but a couple lines in. So you're waiting for it. Because you know the form a little bit and then it breaks it up. She takes you there.

Kind of like Phil Collins how the drums come in 2 minutes and 37 seconds in. It's like It's so 2 minutes and 31 seconds of waiting for a couple drums and then it's just now we're up and running. I sounded like drums when I did that. Naomi, what memory does you tell?

You don't have to have one. But when you hear Dancing on My Own by Robin, does it take you to a place? Does it take you to any places? It takes me to a few places. Dancing on My Own is like kind of it's like a queer bird call. Like, if you're gay, and that song is playing, and you hear it, you're like, oh, shit, gotta go. And like, you go. It's just heard it, I was, a friend of mine showed it to me, and then we were, like, recording bad, like, iMac, like, filter-y videos of, like, singing and dancing to it, which is, like, thank God that's not on the internet. And, like, it should be scrubbed from history entirely, but I was enjoying myself. And then I went to go another, the most amazing memory I have of it i went to go see robin at the forum and we got good seats or standing whatever like we were in a good spot we could see well and she played

dancing on my own and the first chorus of the song all the music stops and everyone's already singing and then you look around and there's like 10 000 gay people only they only like gay people in the show losing their fucking minds just going apeshit singing the chorus and then they realize the music is out and then everyone starts singing even wilder i'm i'm frankly stoned out of my mind at in that moment i weeping like having the best time um and then all the music is out everyone's going she just holding the mic into the crowd everyone's singing going nuts and then she says i'm just gonna dance all night and then boom all the track is back and like i i i came in that moment like that that's that's what that feels like i mean i'm on the verge of

tears yeah yeah right now especially hearing it now when like i mean that would have been moving That's what that feels like. I mean, I'm on the verge of tears. Yeah. Right now. Especially hearing it now. When like... I mean, that would have been moving in the before times. It was moving in the before times, but now to think that it could happen in the after times is... Well, and it must. We must get after that. If it doesn't, I...

That's what the real darkness does set in at a certain point. When will there be a concert again? And I guess, and who's going? Right now, I feel like people are doing concerts now, people that shouldn't be. And then people are going. And then that's a whole group of people that I'm like, great. Well, when I go to a concert, they all shouldn't be allowed to come. No, they shouldn't be and then people are going and then that's a whole group of people that i'm like great well when i go to a concert they all shouldn't be allowed to come no they shouldn't attend and also orgasm yeah they shouldn't be allowed to come meaning cum or come they shouldn't be able to come that is the that should be the curse that that befalls people

who don't respect covid rules yeah that's fair right yeah take away orgasm naomi would you consider um robin to be on a list of people that you would like kill to collaborate with is that fair to say i think that's fair to say i also there's like there are certain musicians that i that i bestow a certain like reverence on where it's like to be honest i don't even want to meet you in person like i'm not like i don't like like i'm not i'm not worthy like i want you to be so happy i saw robin once actually irl like outside of the oaks on like across the street from gelsons and off of franklin i saw her and i was like i think i'm pretty sure that's fucking robin and then i we walked the other direction like that is like it's

just like it's too overwhelming but yes of course she'd be like that would be like a crazy dream or to just know that she thought that my band was cool that's like all that's all i need like or just to think one song was good that's good enough for me yeah for for her to like in an interview next year yeah then be like what are you listening to right now and robin be like i've been really jamming to moona that i yeah that would be that's that's perfect for me that's that's perfect i would love that i hope it happens me too what if i went so negative on robin don't go negative on robin i don't have a reason to but it just would be so funny like i am obsessed with her and also love the song and also agree that it's a queer anthem um and i also love about that song that it's up it's party sad it's a sad song but you would never

feel it listening to well that's why callum scott took it where he did yeah callum did what could technically be done with it callum said have you guys heard the lyrics and we were like yeah no we know he like mansplained the song he was like this song's fucked up he said you guys don't get it the way it's supposed to be heard listen to this i'll show you what it's how it's supposed to sound i. Listen to this. I'll show you how it's supposed to sound. I mean, that is the way I felt the first time I listened to the lyrics. The first time I heard the lyrics, I was like, I need to tell someone this is sad.

You know what song, like, really, when I first, you know how there's songs that you listen to as a kid that when you first, like, actually heard the lyrics, you were like, wait, what? Like, O-Town had a song called Liquid Dreams, and I was like, wait a second. But had a song called liquid dreams and i was like wait a second but as a kid i was like i thought in that shaggy song when he says wasn't me but naked banging on

the bathroom floor i thought they were naked locked in the bathroom banging for someone to like get them out and then i listened to it as an adult and I was like, oh, sick. Not sick, cool. Sick, ew. Get off the floor. One time I took an edible and I got locked in a McDonald's bathroom in Washington, DC. And I had, I was so scared because I couldn't get out, but I was really high and I was scared that that would get me arrested. And I had to bang on the floor for a really long time. And then a police officer did let me out and I was fully sobbing. It was the scariest moment of my life. Is this when you were serving in the Senate or before?

Before. Okay. That's actually how I met. So I got an endorsement from the DC police, which we don't like to talk about now. That's been a really negative mark on your record, I will say. No, no, no, no, no. But at the time, it was really important for my election campaign. And so I...

Right. No, everyone knows that. We just are like, it's weird that she cozied up. I'm just, I'm telling you what people say. I'm not issuing it. I feel like people think it's like I took them out to dinner, but all it was was that they let me out of the bathroom and then we like laughed and laughed and laughed about it

because it was like so embarrassing. Like what happened? And then you said ACAB and then... Yeah then i was like i was like all right anyway fuck y'all and then i left but but anyway i could have made some powerful change maybe while i was there but i didn't and nobody remembers i was in the senate the real stans remember naomi if you could serve in one political office in the whole country without the endorsement of the D.C. police or any police union. You could get the endorsement if you needed it. What would you serve as?

I almost said home secretary, and I know that that is not a position that is in America. Like, the first thing that came to my mind was just home secretary, which I know is a UK thing. So I wouldn't need the DC police endorsement for that. I'd also need to be a UK citizen. But, yeah, I think if you aspire to political office, no offense, Shelby, as a former senator i think that that's that is twisted there's something twisted about wanting to be a senator to be fair i didn't aspire to it i didn't aspire to it i fell into it i i absolutely fell into it no and and then i got out really quickly obviously i'm so young painfully young a baby yeah and i've already served my time and left so it's you know

i didn't aspire to much but i did i did make it yeah and heroes have greatness thrust upon them exactly and that's the story of the position i would give you in government is i was just thinking i would make you czar of queer music oh thank you you would kill it that's like yeah being able to well i i do i have a lot of strong opinions i'm not afraid to say i also say things are queer and if they're not thank you because that's radical explicitly queer things are generally a little bit clearer most things so most music would probably get into that playlist is this like the type of it's like the czar like who's putting together like obama's like songs of my summer like list

that he like keeps dropping i don't know what czar is i just keep hearing people be like we need joe biden needs to appoint this kind of czar and i'm like to me czar is explicitly in like the ukraine like i don't know like czar i thought it'm like, to me, czar is explicitly in like the Ukraine. Like, I don't know, like czar. I thought it was evil. I thought it was like dictator.

I think I always knew it was a position of power, but in a, in a, in not here. I didn't think. Yes. Strictly Slavic. Yeah.

It sounds very like Eastern Europe. Like I was like, okay, we're, we're, we have czars. Really? Cute're we have czars really cute we have czars here it's all a big joke yeah cute what's the straightest thing that you consider to be queer i i don't know if i could say are maybe misogynistic, maybe even homophobic.

But I'm enjoying it. Like, certain kinds of hardcore rap. Like, I'm queering that by listening to it and by enjoying it and by, you know, living that vicariously through the the experience if that makes sense that's what comes to mind but i'm sure i could think of more most things are gay generally speaking agreed anything good anything good yeah yeah i think the straightest music that i couldn't even argue is gay is like james taylor like yeah it's like the straightest song period but it's for like emotional straight men do you know what i like there's like a certain yeah yeah yeah yeah it's like the dads who like yeah the james taylor dad sometimes like joni which is lesbian of them johnny mitchell

yeah what is the most famous johni Mitchell song? Do we think? I feel like her most famous one is probably and I have I mean, like, I think her late career stuff is so good and incredible. And, and people but people hate, you know, women over 30. So like people, it's just it's all kinds of messed up. But I think her most famous song is probably Woodstock, right? Or no, not Woodstock. Big taxi big yellow taxi woodstock a case of you maybe like top three blue california river california river river for sure especially this time time of the year river river joni mitchell's most famous song in my mind is and you guys might or might not know this one it's kind of a deep cut annette benning's hairstyle in the kids are all right that is a joni mitchell song to me yes and yeah i've said what i've said okay dare i ask what's the next thing oh yeah your record

naomi we're having so much fun talking that we forgot that we're actually building something for building something for space yeah yeah yeah we're contracted by nasa so we do have to so when the last one started uh you said dancing on my own robin yeah and what's next a hard left but also i i the more i've been thinking about the things that i've like pitched like straight out of my asshole via email just like what the five things that came to mind to me in that moment were i i feel like they're they're all kind of in this like queer high art canon and i think that it takes an acquired taste to to really that Robin is the greatest white musician. And it also takes a cultivated taste.

And it's not easily comprehensible or accepted into the mainstream. It's a piece of art like the Kim Cattrall scatting video. That's high art. Kim Cattrall. Kim Cattrall of Sex and the City fame. The second greatest white musician. The second greatest white musician. And the third being

Kim Cattrall's husband. Who plays stand-up bass. And I don't know good versus bad stand-up bass but it doesn't seem like he is playing it well. I read poetry and sonnets, and he plays the upright bass. The whole thing defies logic.

Like, every aspect of it I find to be deeply like concerning and confusing but also very very funny and there's something a little bit endearing about it and there's something deeply like shakespearean level tragic about it yeah yeah he's the real he's like the real tragic character of that video in a way because i do think like he is trying to be really they're both trying to be really they're both trying to be good at what they're doing i don't i can't say whether or not he's being good at what he's doing well i think the thing is is that he's trying to be good and he's quietly doing that which always right to me is like it's like more earnest she's putting on a show with it and

she's also really trying and and that's it embarrassing. And that makes it more embarrassing. Like his trying is a little bit less embarrassing. Like it's like he's just doing his best. But he's trying so hard to please his wife who, spoiler alert, like they divorce. She also, at the end of the scatting, and note that I'm putting some quotes around scatting. She rubs his chest and then it cuts back to the interview and she and she says we just have a good rhythm together you know he sort of feels me out i feel him out and uh we go for it and it's like oh you guys went for it yeah yeah she doesn't feel him out then we go for for it. I think a lyric, a lot of it is just sounds, but there is some lyricism. Well, he bit all the he-dogs and winked at all the she-dogs.

The town never knew such a hullabaloo as that little dog raised till the end of that day. Well, he bit all the he-dogs and winked at all the she-dogs. And the town never knew such a hullabaloo as the little dog raced till the end of that day. And that was just you reading it. If I could, this is her performing it. Well, he bit all the he-dogs and winked at all the she-dogs. The town never knew such a hullabaloo. It's also amazing how she ends it she's like as the little dog raised to the end of that that day it's like it's so powerful yeah like one of those moms who would read at the kindergarten

class like would read a book and then be like and the dogaced to the end of that day. It's so incredible. Getting to show anyone this video is like one of my life's greatest pleasures. It's like, if you haven't seen this video, I need to be there to experience what it's like for you seeing this for the first time. I've showed it to a few people. It is such a delight. Naomi, was it shown to you or did you discover it organically on the web? It was shown to me. I can't remember by whom, which is a shame

because I would love to give credit where credit is due. But it was shown to me in college. I mean, they deserve a pair, a winter pair. They're in season for that. The Kim Cattrall scouting video is like, it's the Beethoven of YouTube.

It's like, it is a perfect genius video. It was shown to me. I watched it a hundred times. I have pretty much all of it memorized. I think about it all the time. The amount of like space it's taken up in my brain is immeasurable at this point. And I, I still laugh about it.

It's been years. I think about it and it makes me laugh. It's, it's an incredible, it's an incredible video. Everything about it. And the fact that they got divorced is so brutal. Will you give us, will you give us your take of it? Will you give us your best read of it? Yeah, I'll give you my best read.

Uh, I need to, okay. So if I fuck up, let me, let. I need to. Okay, so if I fuck up. Let me set the stage. Okay, here we go. Ladies and gentlemen, and everyone in between. Naomi McPherson. Ads. Kim.

Good job. The curtain's open. My husband or something. I read poetry and sonnets and my husband plays the upright bass. And then he's playing. And then she goes, Screaming.

A full-blown scream. Well, he bit at all the he-dogs, winked at all the she-dogs. The town never knew such a hullabaloo. It was a little dog race till the end of that day. You know, we just have a great rhythm together. I feel him now, he feels me out,

and we go for it. We go for it! That's pretty much, that's close. That's it. That's it. I will say this about her. She did go for it. They went for it.

I mean, he went for it, you know, but she went for it. He wasn't matching her energy. Yeah, she had, that's the best stage presence I've ever seen. It had zero irony. I mean, the way she moves her body and the fact that she calls them sonnets i mean it's really next level i uh it's also it's it's like it's there's something so just wild about it like it starts with kind of scatting it ends with the scream and then she segues into what is probably an actual sonnet or like some kind of scatting it ends with the scream and then she segues into what is probably an actual

sonnet or like some kind of a old poem like or some kind some kind of bizarre or like oh the he dog she dog bit that seems real the the beginning of that is is scat yeah yeah it's incredible stuff it's scat from a six-year-old white woman. It's scat the way it wasn't meant to be done. Oh, not at all. There's another video. I wish I knew how to find it, but there's an incredible video also related to scatting of like a high school choir, and they're all white.

There's maybe one black person in the whole choir, and it's like jazz, and then they all take turns scatting it's one of the most tragic things i've ever seen i'll try and find it and i'll email it and that's the third best white musician you telling us that felt to me like the first time I heard that for sale, baby shoes, never worn thing. It got sadder with every word. Because you hear all white choir and you go, no matter where this goes, if they all live and perform a song, it's the saddest thing that I've ever heard. It's tough. Yeah.

It's sad. Unless it's like Appalachian folk music somehow. Right. But even that in its own way can be kind of sad. It has a tinge of sadness. Problematic. Yeah. And then to hear that there's one person of color instead of zero,

you're like, at this point, save them, get them out. Let them get anywhere else. Ugh. That is the plot of Get Out. Like that's,

that's Get Out. Truly that is Get Out. Get Out 2, choir edition. And the thing that they're stealing isn't the physical bodies, it's Get Out. Truly that is Get Out. Get Out 2, choir edition. And the thing that they're stealing isn't the physical bodies, it's the music. It's the rhythm. I also like Kim Cattrall is such a fascinating character in general to me just because of how much she feuds with her co-stars from Sex and the City. I have never been so confused about a relationship between women,

which is already getting me pretty complicated than I am with the cast. Caleb does not like women. Oy vey, don't get me started. But there's what, four of them in Sex and the City? Three of them are like we're friends and she's like no never once samantha charlotte charlotte charlotte you're such a charlotte it's not it's not important um i don't think it's true. People I went to, my like group of high school friends were, they did that kind of like,

oh, out of our friend group, I'm, and at the time I'm like definitely queer, definitely closeted, definitely like non-binary closeted and everyone's going around. They're like, you're for sure Carrie. And then I'm like, Miranda, I'm Miranda. What was the show once? And I know that I'm Miranda. Just say Miranda. Just say Miranda and let me move on. Just say Miranda. Just say Miranda and let me

lick my wound. Yeah, of course. That is outing. Like, that straight up outed me. Yeah, that's outing someone. To be called the Miranda. No one, listen, Miranda in the actual show, I haven't seen all of it, but I've seen enough to know she's got the best

head on her shoulders. Absolutely. And shout out to Cynthia Nixon. She's like a bad MF-er. She's a bad MF-er. Thank you for not cursing. Yeah. Yeah.

But people, nobody wanted to be called the Miranda. Yeah. I love the Kim Cattrall. You know, most people finish a TV show, a long running popular TV show, and they say, those are my girlies. I love them. Sisters for life. I'll never forget what it was like to be on set. And Kim Cattrall's like, I fucking hate Sarah Jessica Parker.

I'd kill her if I could get away with it. And it's for whom? Ladies, you're aging. You're old. We don't need to have this fight. Which is beautiful. Yeah. We love.

Gorgeous. I knew we said we love. We love aging as a concept. Conceptually, the passing of time is something we're excited about. But girlies, womenies. Give it a rest. Womenies. Yeah, they're not girlies anymore. They're womenies. Womenies. Give it a rest. Womenies. Yeah, they're not girlies anymore.

They're womenies. It's the most wonderful time of your life. Aging. When you're getting older. When you're coming into yourself. Female friendship, am I right? Female friendship. Female friendship is the strongest drug of all.

So. Hey, if you ever like the music we're putting together. Shelby and I's secret for this recording, Naomi, is that we're auditioning for you. We're like, what we want a background sing. Figuring out how to, you've already figured out somehow how to overcome the Zoom lag. So like sometimes you are singing at the same time which is that's pretty special so well that's that's the magic that's the magic of making music says we yeah we two famous musicians two famed musicians look here's

the truth of the matter every comedian this is the undercurrent of the podcast everybody in the world thinks they're funny and wants to be a comedian except for comedians who want to be musicians this is what moves the world on its little axis that's how the world keeps that's gravity uh yes also yes um i i think music and and dance does live in all of us it's part of our our like it's part of our nature as humans so thank you i think you're welcome and anyone anyone can sing as much as they freaking want in this country. It's free country. But not everyone is funny. And that is sad.

You know what, though? The thing is, you're so right. People are allowed to sing and dance, which is so beautiful. But people, normal people who aren't funny will convince themselves they are and i think a lot fewer normal people will convince themselves they're musically talented it still happens right but i think there's a more discernible like what is good music and what is not to some extent my mom used to insist not on telling me i was good at singing when i wasn't because she told me verbatim

what do you want me to lie and then you end up like William Hung and I said and I said okay leave William out of it to some extent you know like I was in a production of

Joseph in the Magical Technical who among us has not been in Joseph oh how many times have I been in it production of Joseph and the Magical Technical. Who among us has not been in Joseph? Oh, how many times have I been in it is the real question. Three. Is the answer. Three is the answer. Were you a color and then you were something? I did.

I did grow over time. You climbed the ladder. I was in chorus. Then I was. I was one of the adoring girls. And then I was Izakai. Wow. Come on.

I really climbed the Joseph ladder, the corporate ladder of Joseph from the Technicolor Dreamcoat. But my mom after said, you weren't dancing as hard as the others. And I was like. And I believe her. And I was like, right. Well, was I good? Or is that just where we're leaving it? And she was like, you don't want me to answer that.

Because if I tell you you're good when you're not. And I was like, oh, my God. I'm not trying out for American Idol. I'm trying to do local theater. I'm just trying to enjoy my childhood. But that's over. Jesus Christ. I didn't know this was an audition for a career, but if I had, maybe I would have thrown my arms up a little harder.

She's a hoarder. You weren't dancing hard enough. She's going to listen to this and be like, that was a really good thing I said. I do think it is the responsibility of parents to, like, you know know destroy a few dreams like yeah like it does build yeah maybe maybe a little well i didn't see you in joseph so i can't say but i've staged managed joseph before uh the local theater so i i do know the bits but so imagine someone who's exactly average that was me wait I have to know Naomi what dreams did your parents productively destroy for you yeah um my like my mom told me like that one time I always think about this I was like

I used to just sing like just like i had so i had so many feelings inside me i just need to sing which is like disgusting ultimately so embarrassing yeah it's oh it's it's rough but yeah i think my mom told me one time that when i had headphones on in the car i was like probably in third grade. She was like, you are singing too loud. And I was like, ooh, okay, brutal. I thought I was good, but... It's too much. I thought I was good in kind of giving a gift to the car.

Yeah, I thought it was entertaining, but okay, guess not. I cried in every piano lesson I ever had. It was like the only times I cried for years. Because you were so moved by your own work? No, because I was so terrified and I did not practice. And I expected things to get better, but I did not practice. But I was never good at math. And my mom was like, I can't help you here.

And I don't know how this is going to go. But, you know, maybe you need a tutor for the sat and i did but the i think it and teachers who grade things fairly i think that's good just you know don't don't blow smoke up kids asses just because they're kids some things suck i've made some things that sucked we gotta correct this participation trophy generation Yeah, these kids need to toughen up Kids these days Kids these days have it too easy We're giving them a trophy for everything

The title of this episode is gonna be Naomi McPherson destroys participation trophies Listen, there's never been a better time to be a trophy maker I'll say that okay before we get more for naomi's iconic record for space it's time for a break naomi we've heard from you that you would put robin's dancing on my own on your record to send to space um we've heard that you would put kim cattrall scatting uh i think maybe next we can we can move more this is like this is less of like a tangible thing and more of like if i could bottle a an emotion or like a uh yeah a feeling or a time in one's life as a human if we're trying to communicate with aliens right

right yes it's like it's gonna come with a it's gonna be like a suit that they can put on for like a full body like yeah they can wear you yeah it's a morph suit um different though because they can feel your feelings and not just look like you worse yeah much darker yeah um uh i think i would if i could bottle a feeling i would bottle the uh the concept of like teen feelings and then later when you forget about what those feelings were like um yeah that's a concise that's the most concise way that i can put that if that makes sense what are those feelings for you can you place them like do you think back and think oh i felt this and i don't even remember the other day like my the reason i wrote this is that i my

friends from high school and i have like a group chat that occasionally people will text stuff to um the and someone was texting uh pictures of our grad like our senior yearbook and like our senior quotes and stuff and they texted a picture of me and my quote was reality is wrong dreams are for real and i was like i do not remember picking that quote i think that's the stupidest thing like i just felt so embarrassed and i knew that that when i wrote that it must've been earnest and I must've been like having a moment really being like, man, this physical realm is not where it's, it's not,

but what I've got going on up here, you can't even imagine. You can't even, you can't believe you wouldn't believe what I've got going on. I think. And then like, when you see movies of like people's parents, like it's parents,

like it's like teens and parents and the parents are like, you're going to get older one day and miss me or whatever. And they're like, you're embarrassing, mom. Like that kind of, that stuff. When you're a teenager, everything, like right now I'm like, there are things I won't do.

And I'm okay with that. But when you're a teenager, you don't have that yet. You're like, anything is possible. When I leave this town, like there's like this, I can do anything. And the only thing stopping me is I'm not old enough yet. Like that, I feel like the big mentality of like 15, you're like, once I get my license

and then you're like, once I get 18. There's a number of, especially when you're like a younger teenager, 14, 13, there's a number of very important benchmarks and abilities that come along with them that separate you from where you are in the world. And what is what I consider to be quote the rest of life in quote, right? So there's like getting your license, graduating high school, picking a college, going to moving into your dorm, like getting me able to legally drink. And then you graduate from those things.

There's no other way to drink but legally. And then you, exactly, and thank you for saying that. And I never drank before it was legal. We have a very young listenership. You know that. We are very hot with 13-year-olds. And they shouldn't drink yet. But then there's just the rest of your life.

And you, there's that feeling of like anything, anything could happen. I'm, I've got it all in front of me. It's like, oh. There's also the only other thing standing in the way. There's two things I've decided that stand in the way. One is age. And the other is like other people, like your equals. Not adults.

Like you're like, if they like me enough or don't like, like, that's the other big thorn. You're like, everyone has to like me and I have to be what everyone wants me to be so that I can be liked so that I can make those things happen for myself. Do you know what I mean? Yeah. Or did I just read myself? I mean, we're, you're just, we're, everyone's like, you're growing every night, which just hurts and makes you so tired. I used to, I'm, I'm pretty tall. I'm like five, nine.

I was huge for like forever. And I was, every night I was so tired, but then somehow I could also like stay up until four in the morning and then go to school at like seven and then be falling asleep for the rest of the day. You have so many feelings. You're listening to music and you're like, I this is touching me. You've never been in a relationship. That's like what all music is about. And you're like, I this heartbreak is personal to me, to me. Yeah.

It's just like a very embarrassing period of life you're making fashion mistakes especially if you're uh maybe less so now i feel like my generation how old are both of you no i mean you could say this could be off the record but how i want i want mine on the record caleb's 25 turning 26 so soon okay yeah okay and i'm so yeah okay so i'm yeah i'm 27 so we we grew up well that's what's up we grew up in the era of like the most like we should have had the most distrust in like in fashion ever but nobody had any distrust. And it was all complete conformity to just prep low rise jeans and like trauma, trauma, trauma, trauma, compounded trauma, mistakes and violence like that have that now we have to live with like the photos of.

And now 13 year olds look like cool. I looked like hell when I was 13. Like bad, really, really bad. Maybe as a treat, I'll throw this on the Instagram. But when I was like 14, I mean, I'm Jewish and there was a lot of Jews in town. Actually, that's not even that true. There were Jews in town, some. But I went to a lot of bar bat mitvahs and there's one specific one. I don't think I'll say her name because that feels like an invasion of her privacy. Name and address. But she had a,

a b'nai mitzvah with her cousin and it was a bunch of people from different schools. That means two people at the same time. And it's pronounced b'nai mitzvah. Yeah. Love that. B apostrophe N-A-I mitzvah. I want that b apostrophe nai mitzvah i want to have that with josette i've been trying to we've been me and josette have been trying to i will do ours

as a rabbi it don't worry thank you okay great we'll pick a portion after this um but they it was a b'nai mitzvah and they went to different schools the cousins so it was like the biggest event because we were going to hang out with people from another school. You know how like that was like a weird like, oh my God, new people in the world. And everyone, I remember everyone picking out their outfits and thinking we're going to look really good. And there's a bunch of pictures from this Mitzvah where I'm in low rise Abercrombie bell bottom jeans, sequinsed belt that comes together with like a little clasp, but it didn't go through the holes. Like it had to go over.

And then I was wearing three polos. Pain. Yes. I feel pain. Pain, pain. Three polos. I said, have you heard of fashion, baby? Three polos.

Hey. And pop the collar. don't you forget hey that was in baby every picture of us as a group is like everyone it's a lacoste ad it's like that was so in layering also layering tanks and they're long like tanks basically down to your knees tight sophie shorts sophie shorts um folded over so many times that it's underwear And they're long. Like tanks basically down to your knees. Tight. And Sophie shorts. Sophie shorts folded over so many times that it's underwear. The more times you can fold it, the better. Also, there was a period of time where like the logo that you had on your, because I had a uniform. You had to have a collared shirt.

And it became cooler the bigger the logo was and ralph lauren made one that was like half your body yeah and one girl her name's kylie she had that and we were all like okay well she's the one to beat kylie has done it kylie girly you win kylie girly she was really good at soccer oh god i love the best for her all the best are she was being good at soccer was like such a thing that is probably i did not know i was queer yet girls that played soccer is what made me queer and i didn't know it thank you people called me homo nomo on my soccer team i was a goalie first of all like you were tall you were tall yeah i was just big i could just go like like spread my arms out and everyone else was small.

So it was just kind of like, ugh. I was really, really, really small. And for one game, they made me goalie because the goalie was injured. And I was like, there's no way. I'm the size of the ball. I have to throw my body. Okay, brag. I'm the size of a soccer ball.

I would kill. I would pay a lot of money hey we can get a soccer ball something that's not the goal just for me to say god i would kill to be the size of a soccer ball and she'll be to say we could own one right well babe that's not exactly what's on the table uh something i was thinking of naomi when you said teenage emotions is like i don't know if you guys felt this way but i distinctly remember when i was 16 17 18 before i left my hometown basically everything felt so disastrous and permanent

like if someone was mad at me i was like this is gonna form me for rest of my life. I cannot believe that this person is angry with me. They're never going to like me again. It's going to haunt me forever. And it's someone now that I'm like, I could not gun to my head. Tell you if they're alive. Like I do not know. Also the concept of a permanent record. I was so sure.

They lied. What the fuck is a permanent record? No one has ever brought Who owns it? The government? I don't know Also like my grades in high school I was like My parents made me sign a contract

When I went into high school Saying I would do good in school And I Didn't meet the requirements We had such different parents I had to get it notarized But I like I remember being like Well I, I mean, to their point, to their credit, like those grades will like be with me everywhere I go for the rest of my life.

Like, imagine I apply for a job now and someone's like, what did you get in high school biology? People didn't even make me prove I had a college degree when I started getting jobs after college. I don't know if I have one. I don't, I don't, I never paid for mine. I'll tell you, they still have it. I didn't pick up my thing. So I'm kind of like, it could be anything. It could, they could, it could be a piece of paper that says like she did not make it. I was just changing my minor. Every job I applied for after college, I would lie about my minor. I would be like major sociopolitical communication. And then whatever,

like if it was advertising, I'd be like minor in advertising. And it was always a lie and no one could prove it because what are they going to do in the interview like so which classes do you take to make that minor like no they're just like that's the minor you're gonna call my school like a fucking detective i'll kill you that's how i got jobs i would threaten to kill people in the interview well it wants when you put fear of god in someone yeah and you know what's even scarier than the fear of God? Fear of guns. Fear of Caleb. Anyway, yes, I do agree. Everything felt...

You know what's scarier than the fear of God? Fear of Caleb. Fear of Caleb gets you more in fear of God. More powerful, more scary. Y'all be scared of a Midwestern man on a mission. That's like your real housewives, like, intros. Spinning. I turn around in a big chair at a desk and I say,

you know what's scarier than the fear of God? Fear of Caleb. And then the next one is like, my husband doesn't know that I'm 14. An amputee. 14. My husband doesn't know he's committing a grave crime. Well, he doesn't know.

He doesn't know. Ignorance is bliss. It won't save him from jail time, but it will save him from feeling really weird about it now. And from hell. If you don't know you're sinning, you can't be held accountable. Jews don't believe in hell, so I can't speak to it. You know, they're different. Perspectives.

Anyway, back to what you were saying. I do agree that everything felt like the biggest deal in the world in high school. Permanent. If someone didn't like me back, I was like, great. Well, I guess love isn't for me. Yeah, you're like you're like love is i for whatever like psychotic reason i had crushes on boys and well they were also telling you like if you if you were i i'm not a girl but i like you know i was formed as one in them and they were like if you have my my my girl talks about this all the time they're like

they would write magazines like having a girl crush is normal like if you want to kiss your friends that is totally straight like that that existed so i had like weird crushes on boys and we would be like texting people from like your old brick phone that like i had like a i had like a hundred monthly text limit and every time you go over it it's like two million dollars and it's like a family fight it's a full-blown family fight you're getting the phone like taken away or you can only make phone calls on it you know just like when you need to be picked up from school or like from whatever like the uh what was that that they made it was called like the Bumblebee and it had like three numbers programmed in it.

And that was, and it could only call like your parents. Oh, I didn't know about this. Oh. That's cool though. That's, that's useful. I might get one of those now. I suggested it. I used to babysit a lot and the kid was like five and they were like, well, sometimes we

want to pick him up and like blah, blah, blah. And I was like, oh, you should get him the Bumblebee. And they were like, sure, sure. want to pick them up and like, blah, blah, blah. And I was like, oh, you should get them the Bumblebee. And they were like, sure, sure. And then they got him an iPhone. See? They said no. Thank you. They said that's a really good invention.

Thank you. You'll have an iPhone. But it was awesome of you to suggest something that you thought would be helpful. We're not going to have our kid out here looking poor and limited. He'll have an Apple iPhone by Apple with the iPhone from Apple. Honestly, if they wanted him to be smart, he'd have an Android or a Pixel. I have an iPhone, but the smart kids seem to have Androids or Pixels. Everyone with Androids is like, the pictures are pretty good. They're like, the camera on this is good. The pictures on an Android look like the background

of my Zoom. It's like you're ruining a group chat like one number one first and foremost and your texts are green and i like it's not it's just not appealing like it's not also your pictures don't need to be incorrect people keep doing this with the phone cameras they're like shut on iphone and look at how good it looks in this mag it says it's printed in a magazine it's like i'm a normal guy i'm not going around being like taking portraits of like a pigeon sitting on a rail if your career is taking portraits don't use your phone use the camera get a full-blown camera were you guys people that were allowed to have your phone overnight or did your parents take it what you guys didn't have friends you had to get their phones taken at night i guess i lived in like

a weird town i lived in the i lived i lived in the footloose town are you guys people that were allowed to eat three meals a day or were your pantries locked oh you guys didn't have locked pantry my parents sometimes took my phone away at night and they were like it's not good for sleeping so they're not wrong it's just insane to that's still true yeah exercise yeah anyway um i guess i lived in the footloose town and it's cool that you guys crazy to think of the three of us go ahead and let me i was i was just saying i was the only person in it was just me and my single parent uh she's great she didn't know anything about phones computers any anything so like for better or for worse i mean i've seen things i

wish i didn't see this at a very young ages but the computer was in my room i don't know how i got that to happen that was but that rocks because i've ruled i would lock my door like be in there on the family pc all night on aim you know with like a shitty away message and and yeah and i had i had a phone i was like i need the phone with the keyboard or whatever and then i was like wait till the two-year upgrade comes and you can get the one for free or whatever you'll get the envy then one of the biggest wins of my relationship with my mom was that she got a motorola black motorola razor when they were big and and i had like a shitty um like samsung slide phone and only i got into a big fight i had been asking for weeks like we should trade phones and finally one night i was like you have no idea what it is like to be the only person in school who doesn't have a razor it is torture and she

like dead ass was like okay we'll switch phones like she was like i think she was like moved by my speech and gave me the razor i didn't i desperately i'd never had the razor but i desperately wanted the sidekick yeah never had a razor i wanted the sidekick so bad because of what paris hilton like i think paris hilton was like on people magazine holding a sidekick. Yes. Never had a razor. I wanted the sidekick so bad because of what Paris Hilton like I think Paris Hilton was like on People Magazine holding a sidekick

and I was like sure sure me too then. Sure sure same same. Same vibes. I want to talk about something

else. Anything. I'm desperate to speak of something new. I just want to harken back. I want to do a TBT to when Naomi said there aren't many bangers on the original records. I agree. I think there is maybe one or two

and I think one of them is Johnny B. Goode Johnny B. Goode Johnny J-O-H-N-N-Y B period G-O-O-D Wow Wow. Iconic song. Iconic. Iconic. One of the items included on the original records is the 1958 rock and roll song Johnny B. Good by Chuck Berry. The song was a major hit,

peaking at number two on Billboard Magazine's Hot R&B Sides chart and number eight on its Hot 100 chart. In 2004, Rolling Stone magazine put out a list of the 500 greatest songs of all time, and Johnny B. Good by Chuck Berry ranked number seven. Johnny B. Good. A name or a directive. It is both something you would call someone. And? An order. An insistence. A demand. A command. A command. One thing I worry about with Johnny B. Good being sent into space is that aliens might find the record, play this song,

and think that humans are far cooler than we really are. Imagine if aliens played this song and came to Earth thinking that all humans could sing and play guitar like Chuck Berry. And then when we couldn't, they would think we were insulting them. How do you think? Because if they thought everyone on Earth could and then they came and we couldn't. They would think we were insulting them. How do you think? Because if they thought everyone on Earth could and then they came and we didn't,

they would be like, Mike, include this. They would be like, why won't they do their thing for us? Mike, don't include this. Mike, include this. Why won't they do their thing for us? Johnny B. Goode.

Both a name and a command. The song. both a song and a story. Johnny B. Goode is a song about how much money you could make being a musician, which means that it is what we would call in the industry, meta. Johnny B. Goode can be described as a certified slapper. One thing to think about is, are there aliens named Johnny? And would they be insulted by being told to be Goode? Or would they be encouraged by Go Johnny Go?

Chuck Berry. An objectively cool name His full name is Charles Edward Anderson Berry We can all agree he made the right choice to be called Chuck I wonder if aliens finding and playing this song would come to Earth And be upset with the way music has evolved. If they would hope that we had stuck with the styles of Chuck Berry and Johnny B. Good, or if they would be excited by all the new things we've done.

What if they think the guitar at the beginning of the song is not an instrument, but rather a voice? Do they know what instruments even are? What if music is a threat to aliens? What if they don't understand it and they think it's a war cry? What if Johnny B. Goode is a war cry? War cry. They actually were hesitant to put that song on because people said rock is too adolescent

as an art form and carl sagan said there are a lot of adolescents on earth wait that's really cool of carl sagan right kind of a kind of a carl win carl's the guy who was like looking through the kaleidoscope and like railing blunts, right? That was like his thing. Yeah. He seems like a cool dude. He was like, yeah, it is a lot of adolescent music, but let me tell you something about adolescents. They've got a little good head on their shoulders. He said, they said, Carl, do you think this is too adolescent of an art form?

He said, man, humanity's adolescent. Think about the span of time we're freaking young young young put it on the record he's johnny good making the record uh naomi do you think this is a banger you don't have to say yes if you don't think so no i do think this is one of the only it's this and like 17 like mozart songs basically and then this is this one bangs there's a few other ones that bang but there's really only like three or four and this is definitely maybe this is the yeah the adolescents they have the taste they do now um they are shaping the culture they were then and and johnny be good deserved to be on it what do you think if

you're an alien and you're opening the golden records and you're hearing johnny be good what is naomi the alien thinking about earth and humans like just god i hope they aren't showing too much ankle or too much elbow too much clavicle show ankle challenge title of the episode Naomi McPherson shows ankle it's too erotic for most people we've gone there's so much that now we've gone back to that being that's that's the apotheosis yeah well once we started wearing skirts again modesty is hot now modesty is having another moment once women went from mini skirts to long skirts, I said, well, a shift. Leave something to the imagination, ladies. Caleb. Caleb makes me wear a sweatsuit in the house.

Let me do a little bit of guessing. I'm always saying. I have to shower in a swimsuit. Yeah, because I watch Shelby shower in a swimsuit. Yeah. Cause I watch Shelby shower is the idea. No, it's not about you watching. It's about you knowing someone's make me into a sex pervert on the pod.

Okay. We'll cut this part. No, I want it in. I kind of think at this point in the pod, by the way, Emmy, Grammy,

Oscar, Tony, we've already won all of them for this we've got it um i say when we got on the pod and we've got a bib uh i think we should ask naomi what they would delete from humanity do you want me to do it or do you want to do it like just asking them like what you know setting them up for the thing do you want to do it or should i do it i'm gonna do it naomi naomi no why are you doing it we're wondering what is something so embarrassing that you think we should delete it from the records altogether and it doesn't have to be war famine the capitalism bad stuff reagan's

pregnancy don't say reagan's pregnancy babe we loved when he did that that's actually the one progressive thing that the coolest thing he did was get knocked up everything else was fucked no we're asking what is something that isn't the big stuff that is so embarrassing you think humanity should wipe it not yeah not capitalism or social media or any of these we know you love those exactly jeff bezos yeah um big yeah um uh i think okay so I guess this kind of, this is, I say this with, with hesitancy, but it kind of, it came to mind as we've been having these conversations, particularly about traumatic clothing. So I think what I would delete entirely, and I know this sounds bad, um, because it is kind of what you lived as a child, Shelby, now, is a personal style

or the, like, or, like, choice. I think too much choice is bad. There's too much saturation in the market. There's too many, you have to be an individual all the time, and you have to look a certain way, and that way changes all the time. And I think I would be, I've been much happier since I've decided that I only wear, like, like four things i think my life has improved from that and this is not to say that they can't be cool things but i don't know i think there's too much personal style does that make sense and i mean this genuinely like yes no it's coming across as earnest it's like the cheesecake factory menu that shit's yes yes that's it's fucked up as earnest. It's like the Cheesecake Factory menu. That shit's fucked up. Yes.

It's fucked up what they're doing over there. When you're like, okay, I have to look at every single food that's ever been created and decide, how could I possibly? Then you end up ordering four things, can't eat it all. You have to take it home. The Cheesecake Factory is a terrorist outfit. The menu is asking too much from us. I mean this.

Maybe I'm just anti-choice. Like there should be, there should be, or a limit. There should be a limit to the amount of choice. Oh my, yikes.

Anti-choice. Okay, we're actually a pro-choice pod. Pro-choice pod, anti-choice Naomi. Oh yeah. No, but you're, you're saying that you're anti,

like. Limit, limit the amount. When you're at a restaurant, there should be four things on the menu. I'll pick one. I'll be happy. I'm not going to spiral about what I should have gotten.

I'll spiral about what to wear. That's why I can't have too much stuff. It's overwhelming. I agree with Naomi that I get overwhelmed. I've been thinking recently that I should just get four pairs of the same black pants and ten of the same black pants and like 10 of the same black shirts and just let it stop. Stop trying to buy new cool things because it's exhausting. And it's expensive. In quarantine, all the new clothes I've bought have been sweats.

Same. Sweats can be expensive too. There are new brands popping up every day with like affordable cashmere sweatpants. And you're like, what's happening? I just want to be cozy all the time for cheap, for no money. I don't want to spend the money. But I also don't want to go to like Target and buy them because fast fashion. Right. That's something we're up against.

Fast fashion is tough. But I, yeah, I collect t-shirts And that's fun But now I could never get rid of most of my clothes Because they're a collector's item Do you know what I mean by that? What do you, what in terms of t-shirts do you collect? Or do you just collect them because they have personal meaning to you And they bring you joy?

Or are they like, this is a band t that's like 350 or something like that some of them are like shirts from my hometown like different things from like history or like i get a lot of thrift stores and i'm like oh this is really cool and then i'm like i can't get rid of them for whatever reason some of them mean nothing to me it's like someone else's high school baseball shirt or something but because i like found it or whatever i'm like no i have to keep it do you depop in these times do you use depop the app not in these times but i have in the past it's an interesting time on there depop is an interesting time it's an interesting time you can find i i i tried to have like a one-in-one out clothing policy. But in this in this time, there's not much to do other than browse like whatever new thing you can like put into your eyeballs. And Depop has an endless

amount of like cool old t shirts and stuff. So I find myself looking more than I do actually buying or I'll buy for other people and not for myself, But they do have cool tees on there. So I understand the collection sort of like ethos. I'm a big add to cart, never press buy person. Sure. The cookies on my computer are out of hand because they're all like saved cart of like 47 items that I will never purchase. But Etsy also will have like vintage stores

that are like really fun to look at, but their t-shirts will be like old shirt, 14 holes in it. Armpits are yellow and the shirt is 47 bucks and you're like what so so so you can't buy them because it would be unhinged but you can look i think uh we probably don't have time naomi to get um the other things that you were gonna put on your record record. But quickly. That's okay. I don't even remember what the hell it was. So it's fine.

I know that you were going to put the. Delivery food. Concept of delivery food. And I want to tell you. Oh. Something you might find interesting. Is that in Italy in the 1880s. A king and a queen.

King Umberto and Queen Margarita. Sent, and that's important because they sent notice to a local pizza maker and was like, you need to bring us your pizza. We want it here and we can't come there. And he did. And that's how Margarita. Yeah, that was the first delivery food. And that's how Margarita pizza was born. Because Queen Margarita wanted it.

Wow. For a long time, I thought there was no delivery food other than pizza. So like that, yeah. Well, so that is true. Really, like through history, we kept trying delivery food, it seems like. For a second in the 20s, there was Chinese food. In LA. In LA.

And then that went away in the Depression. And then it came back as pizza again. And pizza like really caught on in the U.S. And was the delivery food in the u.s and was the delivery food in the u.s so much so that one of the first websites was pizza net which was run by pizza hut and since it was one of the first websites they were like oh pizza is probably one of the first goods sold on the internet and when you look into that it it's actually not true. The first good bought and sold on the internet was marijuana. Marijuana.

Drugs. Oh. Sign of the times. Spicy. In 1972, a university in California, MIT, and Massachusetts conducted the first ever online transaction. It was for a small amount of weed. Wow. Yeah, dorks love to smoke weed and get high.

Dorks. Fucking weirdos. So, like, everyone's talking about e-commerce, e-commerce. That's actually drugs. Weed commerce, more like. E-commerce, more like weed commerce. Naomi, what's your go-to takeout order? It changes.

I, okay. So I cook a lot, but I feel feel like my naughty like late capitalist sort of like delight although i don't approve of the way that any of these companies treat their delivery drivers you gotta tip people well all this because obviously it's all bullshit but like i'll order a postmate it gives me a thrill like nothing else my purpose in life is to like eat delivery food in front of a tv like that is a joy that's like unmatched. I like to order, if you like Taiwanese food, pine and crane is really good. It's in Silver Lake.

Super good. Sometimes I'm vegan. So I'll order like vegan shit that probably most people think is like whack. But like to me, it's good. Like a piece of lettuce. Yeah, it's just a piece of lettuce. I love vegan food. Caleb won't eat it. Yeah, that's good. Like a piece of lettuce. Yeah, it's just a piece of lettuce. I love vegan food. Caleb won't eat it. Yeah, that's fair. Unless you've like afflicted yourself with veganism, I do

understand like not being interested in it. But yeah, there's some good stuff out there. But yeah, like Pine and Crane is a regular go-to for me. And Donut Friend. Donut Friend is good. If you want donuts, they're objectively good. Naomi, is there anything you wanted to like plug, talk about, chat about right before we let you go? I don't,

I wish I had something to plug. Muna will put out music next year. It'll be the greatest shit anyone's ever heard in their life. And otherwise, I'm just around. I don't do much. I'm just, I'm here. Whenever you want me to, I'm here. That's all. I don't do much I'm here whenever you want me to I'm here that's all I don't have anything else

to say love seeing you love talking to you literally thank you so much for doing this we're huge fans truly huge fans thank you so much it was so fun love is very mutual and we'll see each other at some point when life is normal again.

If you're still in LA. I'm definitely going to. I'll probably die here. Oh, we live here forever now. Oh, honey, we'll be in LA. Oh, baby, we will be in LA. Thank you so much. Thanks for having me.

This was a lot of fun. It sucks that Naomi has to die now. Yeah, it sucks that Naomi has to die now. I hate that our guests have to die when they're done. Those would be my last words. Oh. That was a Hidgum Original.