Keeping Records - Bring in the Ringer (with Lou Roy)

Episode Date: April 29, 2022

Is there any lil freak/Lord of the Ring fan crossover? We sure do hope so, because Caleb, Shelby, and musician Lou Roy kind of go off about Tolkien for a while this week.  They do manage to leave Middle Earth for a little while to talk about Hometown Buffet - which we tried to provide a URL link to but incredibly, does not have a website in this year of our lord 2022. So really if any humans or aliens want to learn about that place, they kind of have to listen to this ep??? Lou's Artifacts Debussy's Clair de Lune (Music) Hometown Buffet (Restaurant) Supreme Croissant (no meat) From Jack-in-the-Box (Food) Neopolitan Ice Cream Sandwich Lou's journal entry from 2001 (age 9) that details her best friend betraying her by going to Hometown Buffet with a friend from his school without her (Archival Material) Follow Lou on Twitter and Instagram, and listen to her debut album, PURE CHAOS, which drops today! Watch the video version of the episode Follow the show @keepingrecordspod Advertise on Keeping Records via Gumball.fm See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This is a HeadGum Original. In 1977, NASA sent two solid gold records into space so that aliens might find them and understand life on Earth. I send greetings on behalf of the people of our planet. And friendly wishes to all who may encounter this voyager. Now, we're making new records with our friends. Hello everyone! Hello!

Hello and greetings to everyone! Peace be upon you! We step out of our solar system into the universe seeking only peace and friendship. We know full well that our planet and all its inhabitants are but a small part of this immense universe that surrounds us. Hello from the children of planet Earth. Well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well. Show me. Caleb.

How are you? Oh, I'm happening. That's Caleb. How are you? Oh, I'm happening. That's awesome. What do you mean by that? I have been having something happen. You're crazy, bitch. For real, something has been happening the past couple of days that I, is not concerning enough to be a concern concern, but is concerning enough that it has me sort of spinning my

little brain wheels. Well, what is it? Tell me about it. I have been cooking with a lot of eggs. And when I have cracked eggs recently. I could have never guessed that that's what it was going to be. I have not been able to crack eggs this normal lately. Oh.

Like, I've been breaking them. Yeah. Getting shells in the bowl. Yeah. Yolks are breaking. I've been, if I crack it on the counter and they move it over to the pan I've been spilling whites all over the place can I tell you something

what's up spilling whites all over the place what is this white flight what is this what is this white people leaving the cities

for the suburbs in the 1970s in America what I want to tell you is you have to break a few eggs to make an omelet. So I understand that I'm not being funny. I know. I had something in my throat. Stop joking around. I'm being really

dead ass. Because I'm being serious with you right now. You have to break a few eggs to make an omelet. You have to break a few eggs to make an omelet and listen to me. You're stressed out. You're thinking, oh, I don't break eggs this day. My mental faculties are declining. You know, something's changing for me big time. My motor skills are down. My motor skills are down. They're down when they should be up.

You are fine. If it's up, then it's up. Stop. I already did. Stop it. I already did. Because I'm trying to be serious with you. Yeah, I know, and I'm listening.

You are fine. This is not a big deal. Oh. The egg thing is going to be fine. You shouldn't be eating so many eggs to be serious with you. Yeah, no, and I'm listening. You are fine. This is not a big deal. Oh. The egg thing is going to be fine. You shouldn't be eating so many eggs to begin with, probably. I was making meals for other people. Passover. But, yeah, everything's going to be fine.

Everything's going to be fine with the egg situation, okay? I realize that I have my hair in a clip, and I didn't mean to keep it in a clip. Bring it down. Let your hair down. Let your hair down. Girl, put your records on. Baby, your favorite song. Let your hair down.

Pretty cute. Well, other than the egg thing, how are you? Fine, how are you? Fine, how are you? Weird ass. You see how I get treated? I'm trying to be pleasant and encouraging. I'm good. Being fake as fuck.

No, I'm being real. This is the new me. What happened? Cali vibes. I'm living Cali vibes lately. We've been here for two years. I'm living Cali vibes lately. I'm top down on the Jeep. I had a breakfast burrito today. I don't think my hair looks good.

I think we gotta put it back on. I like it. That can't be true. You look like Julia Roberts in Pretty Woman when she woke up. She had on the wig so you didn't know she... When she woke up? You look like a girl who just rolled out of bed. No, everyone's gonna be on my side about this. Do you not remember? Do you guys remember Casey and Anya? When she has the wig on all night so you don't know

she has that beautiful red hair. Yeah. And then she wakes up and Richard Gere sees she has beautiful red hair. Casey, Anya, is that what my hair looks like? Yes, that's exactly what it looks like. It looks honestly really good. It does. It looks like when she, all listeners chime in.

You know what I'm talking about, guys. Comment on the Instagram. It smells better than I thought it would. Your hair. Yeah. But yeah, I've been living Cali vibes. Had a breakfast burrito today. Had a nice coffee outside. Had a nice coffee or an iced coffee or both? Both. Yeah. It was

iced. It was nice. So nice. You gotta have it iced. Hey, do you think you'd go to Kansas City with me in the fall? Is that? Yes. Yeah. Do you go with me in the summer? In June? Yeah. Cool. Nice. I wanted to ask you here because then you'd feel pressured to answer. I didn't really feel as much pressure as I just was like, sure. Yeah, well, I think the cameras and the mic made you really feel pressured. Yeah, everyone could see like a couple beads of sweat. Yeah.

Oh, God, here we go again. No, no, no. No, it's cold in here today. Almost. No. Almost too cold. Almost too cold. Almost. No. Almost too cold. Almost too cold. No.

No, we couldn't. When I got in my car today, it was so hot that it made me, I had to consider, like, why do people go into saunas? Why not just get in your car? You ever been in a sauna? I have been in a sauna. When I get in my car, it feels very similar. Do you ever get in the sauna at our gym?

I have not. It's nice. Okay. It's very nice. Our gym has a sauna. And you can go in there more at our gym? I have not. It's nice. Okay. It's very nice. Our gym has a sauna and you can go in there more than one person if you're with people

you live with. I live alone. Well, like Lindsay or Bug. Okay, Bug. If Lindsay or Bug were there. I bring the cat to the gym. If Lindsay or Bug were there you could go in with them.

Damn. You could just be like, oh, we live together. No worries. It's really nice in there. Sit in there for five minutes, get a good sweat on, you leave,

you're all glistening. But that happens to me in my car is what I'm saying. It's not the same. Your car is probably 100 degrees when it's super hot. Sana's like, I think like 270, 300 or something. That can't be true. How hot's a Sana? How hot's a Sana?

I honestly think it's just like slightly warmer than body temperature. No, you're 100% wrong. You're 100% wrong. You can't be, like, you'll pass out if it's too hot. No, you're wrong. It's definitely in the 200s, Anya. It's 150 to 195. More, even more.

Okay, I was guessing. Casey said it's 96 degrees. Casey said it couldn't be hotter than the body. I just love that Casey chimed in watching me. Casey said people think of saunas a lot like pools. You go into cool down. Yeah.

No, I like it in the sauna. Would you ever go in a sensory deprivation tank? No. I think that's devil shit. I wouldn't do that and I wouldn't skydive. We don't need to know everything. I've gone skydiving. We don't need to know everything I've gone skydiving we don't need to know everything and I'd do it again but I

I think humans are trying to know too much no going in a deprivation tank actually scares the shit out of me I think I would enjoy parts of it and then I'm like

I think I would have you know when people are like I had a bad trip on acid once and it ruined my life forever I think that would happen to me in a deprivation tank you know those rooms

you know those rooms that are so quiet that if you stay in it for half hours it drives people crazy or whatever? That's a deprivation tank. Oh, is that what that is? Well, it is silent. It's silent. I thought you were in water. You are. And the water is the same temperature of your skin. It's dead silent. There's no light. It's completely dark. You're weightless.

There's no sound. Weightless. Wouldn't mind. The rooms where you just go and sit and it's not water or anything, it's just so quiet that it, you're supposed to, it's supposed to be unnerving. I think I would survive that just fine. I think I'd come out and go. That wasn't a big deal. How long?

Well, they say 30 minutes is too much and I think I could do probably 45. You go, I could really push the limits on that. I really could. 32. Yeah, I could really push the limits on that. I'd be. 32. Yeah, I could really push the limits on that. I'd be in there for 30, 30 and a half minutes. 30 minutes, 30 seconds. I think if there's no shadows in the room, I could be in there a long time.

If it is dead silent, actually dead silent, and there's like a shadow or something that I can misinterpret, well, then you're going to see me have a bad time. There can't be shadows in the room. I think that's true for me, yeah. Of a person or just in general? General. Like the shadow from that cup? I think if I could move the thing, if it was small, yes, but if it was like the shadow of like the corner

and the corner, like I would start to think things. Yeah. I don't do well with time alone, I will say that. I know that about you. Yeah. I would say that you are maybe never actually alone. Huh. Do you want to speak on that? Like if you're in your room by yourself, you're like on the – you're texting someone or you're like tweeting.

You're always communicating with someone. Yeah. Do you think you're alone? No. I don't like to be alone. No. I wake up and if there's – here's what happens. If I wake up and I have no plans and I'm alone for like an hour –

You text me and you say you want to. Well, yeah, of course. But if you're busy or out of town or something, I know I can't do that. And all my people are like that. Within an hour, I am talking to myself full conversations. I'm walking around the house being like, it's the picking up the plate for me. It's fucking insane. I'm like washing the dishes king.

Ooh, what a delight. It's like insanity. I think, talking to yourself, do you do it out loud or in your head? Oh, out loud. Because I,

I start having fake arguments. There's, I fake argue with myself. I'll be like, you thought you could talk to me like that, didn't you bitch? I'm standing in the kitchen alone.

Well, this is an interesting thing that I've like, almost brought up to my therapist before, but I'm like, what if she thinks that it's crazier than it is? Like, where I'm like what if she thinks that it's crazier

than it is like where I'm like where I'm and maybe it is crazier than I think it is sounds like you guys have a good relationship yeah

well you know my deal yeah I do but I you're like I don't tell my therapist things because I'm afraid she'll call me psycho wait the other day

she said I was perfect she was being sarcastic but she said the words I don't think she should be doing sarcasm should she well I don't want a therapist be doing sarcasm. Should she? Well... I don't want a therapist who's being tongue-in-cheek with me.

I said, not my problem. I'm perfect. And then I said, I'm kidding. And she goes, you are perfect. And I said... Oh, my God. Oh, my God. She wants to fuck you bad.

You should fuck your therapist. Dude. Dude! Dude! She is having her first child with her husband. So it'll be nice and, you know, they'll be nice. She'll be really into it because you'll be down there. Right?

Isn't it good? I haven't been pregnant. Do you want to hear a funny story? Wait, you were saying something. Well, just the like, like, I've wanted to before, not even just this therapist, just in general, be like, is it normal that I'm like kind of constantly having like full conversations in my brain? Yeah. And I think it is.

I think that's like the normal human experience. But then you like listen to people talk about how people like, people are like, this is schizophrenia. And they're like, you just talked to yourself in your brain. And you're like, hold up. Jaws talked to yourself in your brain? Well, I'm playing all the characters though. I'm playing all the characters too.

Yeah, so that's not schizophrenia. That's normal. Cool. Schizophrenia is when someone else is in control of some of the dialogue. There's different characters though. I'm playing all the characters too. Yeah, so that's not schizophrenia. That's normal. Schizophrenia is when someone else is in control of some of the dialogue. There's different characters involved. I think. I mean, I don't understand schizophrenia. If you're a schizophreniac, I want you to know I'm not speaking on your experience.

I don't know. And all the power to you. But I want my therapist to keep... Keep that at bay. So when I was in middle school health class... Oh. My gym teacher was about to give us the...

He was going to give us one of our sex talks. Fuck yeah. Yeah, it was awesome. And he goes, I'm just going to tell you guys right now, I don't want to hear any goofing off or joking around we're bringing the nurse in here Mrs.

I forget her name but they're like we're bringing the nurse in here forgettable character well no she was really sweet I just don't remember her um

but she he goes we're bringing the nurse in here I don't wanna hear you guys making any jokes or goofing off cause it's both boys and girls right

so it's just the boys and this kid this kid in my class who I everyone knew he was gonna do something he was like such a little fucker.

And he, oh, who's here? Hi. Can I get a COVID test? Love you, babe. So we were like, oh, he's going to say something for sure. And his name is Mikey. And nurse comes in. Shout out, Mikey.

What? Shout out, Mikey. Shout out, Mikey. I think he's in, he might not be in jail. That's not fair. I really thought I heard that at one point, but that could have been someone else. Even if you're in jail, Mikey, shout out. Shout out, but I just don't know

if he has access to the pod in jail. It was my only thing. If you do have access to the pod in jail, five stars, let us know. But he... If you're in the pod, if you're in jail and you're listening to the pod right now, drop us a little review-y, review-y.

Five stars from the big house. So, well, she starts her little speech, and she's like, so sex can be so powerful or whatever. True. True. And he raises his hand and we were all like, oh, no. And he goes, is it true that if you have sex with a woman after she gives birth, it's like throwing a hot dog down a hallway?

I mean, he barely got the word hallway out of his mouth. And our gym teacher is flying over the desks, grabs him by the shirt, and drags him out of the room and down the hallway. What? Child abuse. For sure. Mikey's laughing hysterically. He's getting dragged down to the principal's office. And I'm just sitting there like,

this is one of the most iconic things I've ever seen. And also, at the time, I was like, is that true? Is it like throwing a hot dog down a hallway? People used to say that about girls that were sleeping around when I was in high school. Which I don't think is true. It's not. The pussy just get better. I'm sorry.

Ooh, baby, I love the way. Every day, yeah, yeah. Ooh, baby, I love the way. People think that it's like throwing a hot dog down a hallway after pregnancy, but it's not true. The pussy just get better. So nice he said it twice. So nice he said it twice. So nice he said it twice.

What if that was my catchphrase? I'm like doing stand up I'm like I was at the bank the other day and y'all already know what happened. The pussy just get better. I'm like thank you guys so much. I never finished the post office

but I always stage. Madison Square Garden. Oh my god he's famous. He has all the cars money and houses in the world. But the pussy just keep getting better. And the pussy just keep getting better, but it's not enough. Dayenu.

If only it had been enough. What did you say? What did you say? He did something for Anya, but I didn't hear it. What did you say? She's Jewish. What did it say? I said Hebrew.

Oh, okay. Dayenu, which means if only it had been enough. Did you like that, Anya? Yeah, it's nice to be on YouTube. You liked that joke? Yeah, I loved it. That's awesome. I wish I was in on it.

Didn't you take a Judaism class? I took an intro to Judaism class. We're recording this on Passover. Dayenu is kind of like the thing of Passover. That's really beautiful. Die, dayenu. You told me not to take more classes. You told me That's really beautiful. Die, die, ain't new. So. You told me not to take more classes. You told me not to.

You told me conversion's not real. You said you can't convert to Judaism. No, you asked me three times. I said, go ahead. So he's my rabbi. No, my rabbi was Rabbi Shoshana Conover. Shout out, girl. Shout out, girl. Shout out, girl. You are doing your best.

She's doing pretty good. She's like a big time rabbi. Big time? She's like a big time rabbi. What does it mean to be a big time rabbi? She leads like one of the largest congregations. Like the Justin Bieber church guy? Yeah, exactly like that.

That one was bleak. Didn't he do something bad? What, who, the pastor guy? Yeah. Well, it's clear that he and Justin have hooked up, I think. I think that's a good thing. Hypothetically. Kidding, kidding, kidding, kidding.

Kidding. Kidding. Kidding, Justin, you would never cheat on your wife. Just kidding, Justin. I know you listen and you're in love with Haley, boy. And you are not interested in boys, even a little, because God does not want that for you. Don't you think?

Here's what I'll say. Here's what I'll say. What? Every famous pop star who got famous when they were young, at some point after they were young, when they were in their 20s, at some point, don't you think they tried a little bit of everything?

Don't you think Justin Bieber's tried a little bit of everything At some point, don't you think they tried a little bit of everything? Like, don't you think Justin Bieber's tried a little bit of everything at some point? I think it could go either that way or the Christy Carlson-Romano route, where I think she tried

almost nothing. Really? I think she... I think she tried a little bit of everything. No, I think Christy Carlson-Romano was like, like,

the goody two-shoes of, like, a high school, but for celebrities. Yeah. So she was like, I'm not gonna try that stuff because I'm gonna be, like, praised by Mr. Hollywood if I don't. And then it only really pays off if you do try a little bit of everything. Well, that's too bad because I've always said, pussy's like PTO.

Use it or lose it. And the pussy just keeps getting better. The pussy just kept getting better. I don't know why that's so funny to me. I'm sorry. I don't, I really, it's not for me and I shouldn't be talking about it. I agree about you shouldn't be talking about it. Do you think it's for me, though?

I, that's not for my business. What I think is you shouldn't be talking about it. Oh. What do you think I should be talking about? Dick? God, I do love it. what do you think I should be talking about dick god I do love it I mean

to me some people are like oh dicks are so gross and off putting I'm like they're really awesome I really I love them different sizes and stuff

I don't care about size it's about the motion of the ocean yeah it's about the if you can hold a conversation and you like then your dick is huge your dick is huge to me if If you can hold a conversation and you like... Then your dick is huge.

Your dick is huge to me. If you can't hold a conversation... In fact, don't bring a huge dick around me. I mean, you know how I feel about that. I don't like when somebody has a huge dick. I have a little body. Socially or professionally or otherwise, sexually. I don't want it around me.

Leave it at home. You heard that, Pete Davidson. Yeah, if your dick's over nine inches, stay home. Nick Cannon. I was like, whose dick recently got posted? And a good dick, apparently. I mean, it's really... If good means having a lot of babies, his is magnificent.

Yeah. He's just popping them out. And the dick just get worse. Pussy just get better. Dick just get worse. Dick do just get worse. Well, they stop working eventually. You've seen how old guys are. I've seen how old guys are? Haven't you? Why are we talking about sex? You!

No! You made it happen, right? I don't think. I don't think there's I think if someone were to do like a hyperclip of all the times it's come up you would have started at least 98% of them I mean I do love sex

well having sex sometimes is a chore but I love talking about it I think it's interesting but I think you bring it up equal no chance cause you're horny okay

I'm not gonna make you feel like a freak about it but you are bringing it up the most should we bring in Arianna yeah has she finished her stuff cool bringing it up the most. Should we bring in our guest? Yeah. Has she finished her stuff? Cool.

Our guest today is a friend. A close friend even. A incredible talent. An incredible talent.

An incredible talent. A beautiful, beautiful, awe-inspiring musician. She has an album coming out. I want to check the date. 29. She's got an album coming out on April 29. April 29. Which is today.

The album's out today. Go check out the album. Go check out the album. Go check out the album. Already has out the album. Go check out the album. Already has three singles out when we're recording this and all three of them are absolute fucking bangers.

Bangers. I shake my little ass to them. Shake your little ass to them. And there's just nobody with a better voice. Please make all the noise in the world and show your neighbor

some love for our guest Lou Roy. Okay, Leroy. Okay, get off me, get off me, get off me. Fuck, Leroy. Whoa. What up, baby? Oh, my God.

Oh, my God, she's crying. Oh, my God. Oh, fuck. I wasn't going to do it immediately, but yeah, I'm crying. How the hell are you, brother? I'm cool. Cool. Yeah, yeah.

Well, actually, maybe I'm okay. How the hell are you, brother? I'm cool. Cool? Yeah, well, actually, maybe I'm okay. How's that? How's that for once? Yeah, no, it's better. It's okay. How's that? Life. Life. Life comes at you fast.

Thank you guys so much for tuning in. Oh, fuck me. Fuck me. We said I was going to say that's the end of the episode. I'll just get the hell out of here. I'll just go. This has been Keeping Records.

Caleb, Shelby, and Lou. Lou, let me ask you something. Yeah. What's your favorite restaurant in LA? Okay. Okay, yeah. Okay. Didn't see it coming.

No, didn't see it coming. Well. Last question. Okay. Okay, yeah. Okay. Didn't see it coming. No, didn't see it coming. Well. Last question. Okay. La Pergoletta. Ooh, what do you get? I get any kind of pasta, but actually, no. Any kind of pasta is number one.

Number two is they have a meatball that's not on the menu. It's little. Oh, my God. Special treatment. So on the menu is presented. Off-menu meatball. That's what they called me in little. Oh, my God. Special treatment. So on the menu is presented. Off-menu meatball. That's what they called me in college. Oh, my God.

Oh, my God. Lou, I am so sorry. Damn. Off-menu meatball. This is my colleague, off-menu meatball. Miss off-menu meatball. Yeah. You toss her down, she'll roll around anywhere.

Always coming in sauce. Anyway, no, no, no, no, no. This meatball is not on the menu, but it is in a way, in its way. I'm sorry. It comes in little meatballs on the menu, but if you say, no, please, I'd like the one big meatball stuffed with cheese, they go, okay. Off-menu meatball. with cheese. They go, okay. Off menu meatball. Yeah.

The waiter cries. Yeah. If you ask for the big one stuffed with cheese, the waiter cries and then goes and gets it done. You go, I want the big meatball stuffed with cheese. And the waiter goes. Not a problem. Yeah, I know. Okay.

No, that's good. It's fine. Calls their mom in the back the mope the mope away slink slink slink however sad people walk

well it's like shoulders it's a lot of shoulders I've never been sad not me neither yeah yeah Shelby

couldn't be me have you been sad before in life right now wow whoa how come

stuff oh I've never yeah I've never experienced it before? in life right now wow how come? stuff oh I've never yeah I've never experienced it jealousy also never sadness and jealousy

those are the two ones that I've never gotten no I've only ever like felt happy for my peers yes yeah thank you

especially if they're doing the same thing as me right when they're in my when they're in my field killing it I'm like oh my god

and I'm having a particularly like kind of weird day or something. I couldn't be happier for people at all times. That's actually how I get out of a weird day. That's what brings me out of it. Is to think on all the people that are doing better than me. I usually say, you know what? Why am I sad when there's so many people thriving? Yeah.

Someone tried to talk shit with me recently About Someone who was doing really well And you know what I said there's room for all of us And I meant it This is big stuff And I meant it The housing market in LA is kind of tough There might not be enough room

Listen Shelby's always talking about the LA housing market on the pod. I've never talked about it once because our listenership is widespread worldwide. No, I actually don't. Lou's landlord fucked her on the landscape recently. Yeah, I mean, a lot of stuff. He's one of the weirdest men to walk the earth. Like, he is...

Weird hot or weird weird? Weird weird. Weird weird. Fully just weird weird. But is he hot at all? What's up? Is he hot at all? Would you ever?

If it would save the landscape or something? If it... Oh, jeez. Damn, damn, damn, damn. You know what? No, because for me, it's the brain. It's like what people say and like how they think and feel and express themselves. Luke goes, I can't put someone's personality to the side.

It's like, no, I can't. I literally can't. I love that. I cannot do it. I think that's true for me too, but I love the vocalization. I can't fuck people that are bad people that are like not cool. That's not, it's just not hot. Caleb wants to fuck a Paul brother.

Yeah, I'll fuck a Paul brother. Yeah, I'll fuck a bad person, yeah. Damn. I really will. Which one is it, Jake or Logan? Which one fights?

I think both. Jake, Paul. I think both of them fight. I don't remember, I just, I know that I found one of them hot

at one point. Look, the point is, just fuck, not date. Okay, and is there a psychological element to that?

Are you like, yeah, this is kind of hot that I'm like, yeah, I shouldn't be doing it. Like, I shouldn't be, okay, yeah. Okay, that is kind a psychological element to that? Are you like, yeah, this is kind of hot that I'm like a bad person? Yeah, I shouldn't be doing it. Like I shouldn't be. Okay, yeah. Okay, that is kind of fun. It's like stealing from.

Ooh. You go, ooh. I did that like two months ago. And you're still thinking about it? I've done it. Wait, can't you bleep it? Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah, we'll bleep. I stole from it. From it. Wait, how did he get you on the landscape? What happened here? How did he get me? He decimated the yard, my yard. I like, before, okay, so it's a, I live in a back house.

Him and his wife live in the front house. They bought the property during the pandemic. I used to have a landlord that was a sweet, old Italian man. And he left me alone. Would you have with him? No, big no. Big no, but so kind. Okay, I thought that was the whole thing. sweet old Italian man. And he left me alone. Would you have with him? No. Oh, big no. Big no, but so kind.

Okay, I thought that was the whole thing. That was the whole thing, yeah. Kindness is not just hot. No, no, no, no, no, no, no. Kindness won't get me in bed, honey. No, no, no. A lot of, almost everyone is nice and kind.

Kindness won't move the needle. You, exactly. It's like, it's like almost an insult now at this point if somebody describes me as, she's so kind. Oh, yeah. That's like, what else? If someone was like, what's Shelby's deal?

And someone was like, she's nice. I'd be like, oh. Take me to the. That's it. If someone ever described me as nice. To the guillotine. Yeah. Straight.

I'm straight up. I'm jumping into traffic. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I want to be guillotined. He's nice. I want to be guillotined. Guillotined? Yeah. If someone were to call me nice. If, yeah, yeah. I want to be guillotined. He's nice. I want to be guillotined. Guillotined?

Yeah. If someone were to call me that. If that happens, okay. Head lopped off. Lopped off. I don't want, I want to be disconnected from it, but I want that moment where, you know how they say, when that happens, you can see your body for like a second? Ugh. And that's what you want.

I think it would be fascinating. You could do that, you know. Like after you die, they could guillotine you if you know, like put your body in there. Yeah, but then my brain would already be gone. I wouldn't be able to see. You specifically want to see your body. I think it would be fascinating. You could do that in a funeral. Like, after you die, they could guillotine you at your funeral, like, put your body in there. Yeah, but then my brain would already be gone. I wouldn't be able to see. You specifically want to see your body. I think it would be fascinating. If I'm going to die in that way,

I think at least make it interesting. If you're going to die by guillotine. Yeah. Or by just, like, public murder. I would say, I would argue that all public murder is interesting. Yeah. Well, it's always, yeah, compelling at least.

Yeah. When someone gets murdered in public, you're always kind of like, what was that about? Yeah. It's a narrative. Like, there is a beginning, middle, and end. You guys are being fucked up. Yeah. No, it's compelling.

I mean, look at the news. Yeah. Just watch the nightly news. People are compelled. Watch the nightly news. Okay. Tune in. It's not crazy.

For once. For once. Wait, did it get hot in here? A bit. We all, we all. Welcome back to Getting Hot with Caleb and Shelby, where we ask hot questions with our hot, hot guests. Okay, I actually like that.

I like that. Hot, hot. Getting hot. Getting hot with Caleb and Shelby. Getting hot with Caleb and Shelby and our hot, hot guests hot with Caleb and Shelby and our hot guests. Take a break. It's not time for a break yet,

is it? Anya says it's time for a break. She's gotta fix the air conditioning. Anya's so mean to us off camera and then gets so shy

about talking when we're recording. Anya's like holding up a note card trying to do sign language without taking a break. Anya, should we take a break, babe?

No, she's being cute. No, she's being break. I'd break now.a, should we take a break, babe? Now she's being cute! Now she's being break! I'd break now! I'd break! Go to break! Break! Ciao! Welcome back!

Welcome back! Lou, we brought you here for a reason. We brought you here for a reason. We want to talk to you about if we send the new golden record into space. What would you put on it? Okay. Okay. you about if we send the new golden record into space what would you put on it okay so i don't know if i'm allowed to like call an audible here and like switch it you can do whatever you want okay then i'm gonna begin very earnestly with my first thing that i want on the record is the recording Claire DeLune

by Claude Debussy. It's not a recording of it. You know you guys know that song? She's going to play it, I think. You guys are going to start crying right now. I've listened to it once because there's someone on Twitter whose name on Twitter is Claire DeLune and I thought that was her name

but it's sort of a pun on her name, I think. Was she cute? Were you trying to be like- No, she just always, she's a musician in Minneapolis. Okay. And she just was responding to a lot of my tweets when I had like 200 followers and she was verified, and I was like, who is this person? I mean, honestly, that's kind of a bold handle.

Yeah. Yeah. Just because it's like a very famous. Okay, should we? Yeah. We're ready? Bump it. Let's go.

Take out. Yes. Wait, Lou, I have heard this. That was an ad if Casey can't put it in. Like, you guys know this, right? Yeah, I do. I don't put it in. Like, you guys know this, right? Yeah, I do. I think I do. I do.

What do I know it from? Movies? Movies, TV, commercials. It's like the Twilight. It's like. Movies also Twilight. Really? This is not?

Twilight's an art film. Maybe when. Okay, maybe when the, you know what? We'll wait for like the real melody to kick in. Okay, okay. And we got time. But this is, okay, yeah, cool. You guys don't fucking know this? I said I did.

Okay, okay. I don't know this. Caleb, you really don't know this? I don't know this. This isn't Caleb's genre. This is everyone's genre because, okay. I don't know this. Caleb, you really don't know this? I don't know this. This isn't Caleb's genre. This is everyone's genre because it is. I don't think that's true. This is, okay, I feel like I'm getting my mind blown right now. I thought that everybody would be like, oh, yeah, like, this is good.

You're a music person who's been doing music with talent for a long time. Yeah, I'm not. But this is. Our toxic trait is we think if we tried, we'd be talented at music, and we a long time. Yeah, I'm not. But this is... Our toxic trait is we think if we tried, we'd be talented at music, and we wouldn't be. Yeah. Actually, both of you, like, have decent singing voices, and I've heard it.

Here we go. Here we go. I want to know if I know this. Caleb, you don't know it, and that is so wild to me. I feel like it would say... Come on, this part? I feel like I'm window shopping for an engagement ring for my fiance in a Christmas commercial. And that's right on.

And you're right. That's right on. And you're right, by the way. That's right on. This is the most iconic... What's the vibe you want from the aliens from this song? Yeah. Okay, first of all, I'm going to say that you guys were cheated in this moment in your listening experience.

We needed better headphones. Headphones surround sound like get a little high if you want. You're into it. That song is perfect to me. It's the starting point for so many Of the most beautiful iconic melodies And like just that Man okay wow you know what

I'm really getting blasted I'm asking you what do you want The aliens to take away from it Okay well I want them To just be a little bit like Floored Like a little bit like oh wow You know what?

Like, these might be weird, grubby little creatures. But they know beauty. Stupid, stupid all the time. But they made that. And, like, they pulled that out of something. And, like, music, not just ours, you know? Like, we're not the only. Well, making art is what makes humans different from all the other animals. Yeah.

True. That's why we're so special. Wait, actually, I have heard. I want to throw the other animals. That's why we're so special. I want to throw the fuck up. What about beavers? Birds. That elephant that paints. The elephant that paints.

They trained him to do it. That is also not... That is art, but that is a trick. I think that is a trick. When he walks away, the piece of the painting, is that art or that is a trick. I think that is a trick. Okay, the easel, when he walks away, the piece of the painting, is that art or is that a trick? Now it's just art. You put that on your wall, you're not going to be like, damn, that's a magic trick.

You know what? Slam dunk. But he was taught by humans he would have never done it had we not made him. You don't know that. We haven't given him a chance. Okay, so is art... They're not doing anything.

All they ever do is throw mud on themselves. We gave them art. It's true. It's true. So is art... They're not doing anything. All they ever do is throw mud on themselves. We gave them art. No, true. True. It's true. So is art... What is painting? Is it the painting?

If not throwing mud on a wall. Whoa. Whoa. She said you were going to throw up when I said something beautiful. Yeah. I was doing a joke. Oh, I'm sorry. You were being serious.

Oh, I'm sorry. It's because I was being serious. Yeah, it's not a match. I really hope that some of your listeners are like, oh my god, yeah, this is such a beautiful song. They all have terminal degrees in their field. They're all masters, doctorates. Yeah, very smart. Six million little doctors.

Six million little doctors are our fans. Little PhDs. We love you guys. Have you guys seen Twilight? Yes. No. You've not seen it? I've not seen it.

Kind of surprising. I have not seen Twilight. I thought you might. I've seen it. I've seen it too. I've seen Twilight? Yes. No. You've not seen it? I've not seen it. Kind of surprising. I have not seen Twilight. I thought you might. I've seen it. I've seen each one. I have also seen each one. They're bad, but they're fun. Beautiful performances.

Everyone's really talented. My first girlfriend was really into Twilight. Like, really, really into it? And I remember one time we were texting around Christmas, and I was like, what'd you get? And she was like, Twilight poster, Twilight t-shirt, Twilight bag. I was like, damn, this bitch loves Twilight. Nope. I was like, what'd you get? And she was like, Twilight poster, Twilight t-shirt, Twilight bag. I was like,

damn, this bitch loves Twilight. I, you are, you are the member of a fandom. I don't understand fandoms, but you are a

Lord of the Rings fandom head. I am. You're a little, I did a whole point. I was like, you. And I deserve it.

No, I do. I do deserve it. A big, major. Is that what they're called? Lord of the Rings fans? Hobbits? No. But, what are you called? I don deserve it. A big, major. Is that what they're called? Lord of the Rings fans? Hobbits? No.

What are you called? Ringheads? You know. You know. Ringers? No, no. I have never. No, it's too big.

It's too big for there to be like, what are Lady Gaga's little monsters or like Rihanna's navy. It's like the fandom is simply too large to have a name. No. Yes. Barbs are bigger. No. Barbs are bigger than to have a name. No. Yes. Barb's are bigger. No. Barb's are bigger than Lord of the Rings.

No, no. And also, Lord of the Rings has been around since the 40s. So has Barb's. Well, that's... They just weren't activated until she came on the scene. Damn, I guess that's... I can't argue with that. Damn, I guess that's 100% true.

Barb's not about... Barb's not about Nikki. Nikki. It's a way of life. Somebody could... I don't know, but you guys can Google it. Is there a term for people that like the Lord of the Rings? Let's do that. It's gonna come

up. Tolkien heads. I'm worried that there is... No. What is it? That's you, babe. You're a ringer! Bring in the ringer! Fuck. That's awful. We have to redo your can't. You're a ringer. You're a ringer, babe. Bring in the ringer. Bring in the ringer. Fuck.

That's awful. We have to redo your intro and say bring in the ringer. Yeah. Bring in the ringer. The ringer. I'll be introducing a little joke. Ladies and gentlemen. The ringer.

Ladies and gentlemen. Her. Ladies and gentlemen. The ringer. The ringer. The ringer. Oh. Well, that's really upsetting information that I wish I didn't actually have.

No, it's okay. You're a ringer. Better than hobbits, though, right? But hobbit, yes, yeah, you're right. She's being like, you're a hobbit. I'm sorry. That feels like a slur. It was hateful. It's like hobbit.

Yeah, it was hateful. It was hateful. It feels like faggot. Okay. Oh. Which I can say. Yeah, you can say it. Everybody say like faggot. Okay. Oh. Which I can say. Yeah, you can say it. Everybody say it once.

No. No. Everybody, Casey, Anya. Everybody else just cleanse the palate. Everyone say faggot once. Or say hobbit like you would say faggot. No. No.

Once you put it with that, we can't even say. Be like hobbit. No. I cannot. No. No, you've made it impossible. Okay, no worries. And the pod.

Ringers? No. Oh my God, I'm so bummed out by that. It's not a bummer. You love it. But it's who you are. I mean, it is who I am.

It's your fandom. Those are your people. That's your family. And they live in those tiny little houses. I wish. There's a big one with the stick. There are your people. That's your family. And they live in those tiny little houses. I wish. In the little green. There's a big one with a stick. There's an Airbnb.

The big one with the stick. There's a big one with a stick. That's Gandalf. Gandalf. Gandalf the Grey. Classic. Yep. If you were to have quizzed me though,

I would have thought Gandalf was in Harry Potter. What? I didn't hear what you said. I'm sorry. I'm really sorry. Will you say it again? Gandalf is not. If you had quizzed me,

I would have thought Gandalf was in Harry Potter. Got you. Yes. Okay. But that's actually kind not. If you had quizzed me, I would have thought Gandalf was Harry Potter. Gandalf is Harry Potter. Got you. Yes. Okay. But that's actually kind of cool of you. That's kind of a flex. I don't know any of your nerd bullshit. I don't know which wizard belongs.

Yeah, and I worked at a tech company for a long time, and I still don't know. You worked at a tech company? Still do. Still do. Whoa. Queen of the techies. Wow. She is.

Yeah. Star Trek. Oh. Yoda. Yoda. Would be cool if he was in those movies right

um he was fun he was fun yeah absolutely nothing nothing against Yoda I don't I mean I feel that

his inclusion in the Lord of the Rings world maybe isn't like necessary but I haven't seen Star Wars you haven't seen Star Wars either

I haven't seen Lord of the Rings and I haven't seen Star Wars I haven't seen Star Wars. Classic ringer behavior. You haven't seen Star Wars either? I haven't seen Lord of the Rings and I haven't seen Star Wars. I haven't seen Star Trek either. It is cool that like we get along. Yeah. It is cool. Isn't that beautiful?

It is beautiful. You know? We get along well. We get along well. We do. Isn't that crazy? I have this entire part of my personality that's just like closed off around you guys

and that's totally fine. Yeah, but I think it would be different if we didn't like that side of you but it's just that we don't understand it. And you know what? It's not even a side of me. It's honestly like it is inside of me

for me and almost no one else. It's like I get the most enjoyment out of my fandom of Lord of the Rings. You know? Yeah, you and the other ringers.

You guys get together on the forums. And we get together. You guys get together on the forums. Dude, I actually did I did in 2015 go to a gathering in Griffith Park

Cosplay? It was full cosplay And it was for Bilbo Baggins' birthday party Yes, this sounds awesome I would have gone with you I love when freaks come out So it's for Bilbo Baggins'

birthday party And he's one of the little ones yeah so he's he is the central character in The Hobbit he's the central character in The Hobbit and then

he himself is a hobbit yes he himself is a hobbit the hobbit you might say is he Elijah Wood no Frodo

Elijah Wood is Frodo Frodo Bilbo is the freak steals the ring from Bilbo the little freak the little freak is Gollum give me the ring yeah well that's that's freak. The little freak is Gollum. Give me the ring.

Yeah. Well, that's pretty much a line. Yeah, sure. He steals it from Bilbo. No, Bilbo steals it from him. Oh, God. Is that him? Oh, everyone do it.

Do it. Was that close? Give me the ring. Yeah, that's okay. Okay, let me try. I want the ring. Oh, gosh. Ew!

Come on. That wasn't my first one. You made me think it was wrong. Okay, let me. No, I just didn't like it because you were so scary. Okay, I want to. Okay, but you guys haven't seen it. The inflection is too.

I want the ring now. Give it to me, baby. Give me the ring, faggot. No, this is. Sorry, I'm sorry. He can't say that. He can't say that. And what's his name?

He's gay. That's Gollum. Or Smeagol. Smeagol. Smeagol. He's not gay. Smeagol's at least queer. They, them? Queer coded. Oh my god. He, they of the day. Absolutely is Gollum.

Gollum, Smeagol. Yeah, that's really 100% true. And he's human. He's not. He is... Well, okay, so he's been alive for like over 500 years because of the ring. And it like gave him... Wait, he owns the ring. Yeah, well he found ring? Yeah, well, he found it. He killed his cousin for it.

Yeah, his cousin technically found it. And he is both Gollum and Smeagol. So he starts out his life as Smeagol. He's in the boat with his cousin Deagol. Smeagol and Deagol. Hey, you guys brought me here, okay? You want to bring me into the Lord of the Rings deep end? We'll go,

my friend. So when he put in Smeagol and Deagol, he said, we'll change these later. Forgot. Yeah, J.R.R. was like... J.R.? J.R.? J.R.R. too. J.R.R. J.R.R. was like, fuck, I can't waste time naming these characters. Smeagol and Deagol. Smeagol and Deagol, I'll get these.

And then the publisher was like, looks all good. Forgot. Too many pages. The editor didn't read it. It's a good bit, completely false. He put so much time and effort into the linguistics. It was all a language. I'm attacking the host now. I have to get out.

I have to get out. I'm kidding. He steals the ring from Deagle. He kills Deagle for the ring. That's when he, Smeagol, becomes Gollum. Why does he have to have a new name? Well, he forgets his name. Oh, my God.

Kind of iconic. He forgets his name because he's so fucked up. He killed his cousin with the same name. In a way, it's the ring. The ring fucks him up. It's, like, really poisonous, really bad. Was he sweet before the ring? Is this a book about lead poisoning?

Wow. It could be. That's a fascinating. Wait. Smeagol becomes Gollum, but then how does Bilbo get involved? So Bilbo is like on a, Bilbo. I keep wanting to say Bildo. Or Dilbo.

Plenty of Dildo Baggins porn exists out there. Like plenty of it. Dildo bags him. Yeah. Oh, that's good. Thanks. That was good. Thanks, guys.

Bilbo's on a quest, and he happens to go into the Misty Mountains where Gollum is with his ring. He's been chilling out there. One more time? Bilbo. Bilbo? Bilbo. Does that also exist? Yeah.

Bilbo Baggins? Yes. He has huge tits. Just wondering if that's also a porn hub search. I think the biggest one is Lord of the Cock Ring or something. It's the full produced porn? Yeah. Wow.

Major. And you have watched it? I haven't, which is surprising. Do they ever do for like the Hobbits like Hob on my knob? Earlier it was said

that Caleb was the one that brings sex into the podcast. Thank you. It usually is. I've tried to do seven different porn names on the other thing.

She can't stop. I'm just trying to understand. Kinky. I'm trying to. It came off. Damn. Bilbo goes into the Misty Mountains. They go into the Misty Mountains. And he gets separated from the group that he's with.

Dwarves. He's with a lot of dwarves. He gets separated. And he finds himself face to face with. He's barefoot. They have a lot of hair on their feet. Yeah, they're always barefoot. Their feet are never cold because of the hair. That's right. That's barefoot. He's barefoot. They have a lot of hair on their feet. Yeah, they're always barefoot. Their feet are never cold because of the hair.

That's right. That's exactly right. Okay. And you've never seen. I've never seen. I just understand. But this is how big it is. Seems like it's pretty simple to get.

He finds the ring. And it's like. Now, how would Gollum have just left the ring out? That's. So there's this whole. Smeagol. There's a whole. No, no, no.

He's right. It's Gollum at this point. Yeah. But there's a whole, no, no, no, he's right, it's Gollum at this point. Yeah, but his God-given name is Smeagol. Wow, but he forsake God. He abandoned God. Do they have the same religion in the rings? There's a few different religions. He forsake God when he killed the eagle.

Yeah, that's true. Isn't there a language? Do you speak it? No, but I was able to write it at one point. I love that. At one point in high school, little friendless. Wait, so what? Oh, babe, I would have been your friend.

Thank you. Oh, cool. You know what? It's not completely true. I just wasn't overflowing with friends, let's say. You didn't need to be. It's okay. You're better for it.

If you went to my school, I would have given you rides home. I know this. Wow. Because I gave rides home to be. It's okay. You're better for it. If you went to my school, I would have given you rides home. I know this. Wow. Because I gave rides home to a girl named Heaven who drew me horse pictures in return. We were close.

Yeah. She was cool. He says, if we went to high school, I would have pitted you. She does. Well, that's the picture you're painting.

Yeah. Well, I know that. You know what? He's just responding. If we went to school together, I'd be really, really sad for him. He's just responding to the information presented.

You're painting the picture. I'm simply looking at it. Like the elephant. How does Gollum just leave the magical ring out? There's a whole thing that he doesn't just leave it out. It kind of has a will of its own in a way. No, fuck that. Not in an arms and legs, get up and walk away type way,

but a destiny type way. It wanted to be found by Bilbo. It's like Clippy. By Bilbo. Is the ring sort's like Clippy. By Bilbo. Is the rim sort of like Clippy from Microsoft Word? I think you meant to give me to Bilbo.

Yeah, he walks out. He's like, did you mean to send me somewhere else? And he's just like, did you want me to be worn by Bilbo? I keep saying Bilbo.

He goes, I see you're, did you mean you're giving me away? You want to be on Bilbo? Well, essentially, yeah, just like maybe, yeah, Clippy, but like spiritual Clippy. Does Bilbo ever put it on his toe? Clippy is spiritual.

Not on his toe, no. Always wears it on his hand. Always on a hand, yeah. Clippy is spiritual. And then what happens with Gollum? He gets pissed off? Yeah, he goes absolutely berserk and like really. Does he kill more people?

He doesn't. Get Nicole and Lauren on this pod this is the new newcomers he uh yeah right a little bit of a yeah I guess we could just get into it

I'll just tell you the whole plot I mean it was it has been fascinating to me this is a good sign you should see it he refuses to watch

the movies and he's not going to now I want you to know that oh no let it be me that convinces you. Oh what an honor it would be.

This has been fascinating to me. And he will not go home and watch this. This is probably the end of my journey with it but I do love it. I like how passionate you are more than anything else.

Fair enough. Yeah, no, no. I like how passionate I am too. You're not passionate about it. I am. He's listening and asking questions.

You're listening enthusiastically but I wouldn't say you're passionate about Lord of the Rings. I like any time my friends are talking about something they love, I'm in. Bilbo. I feel totally the same way. Bilbo.

Bilbo has the ring. Smeagol abandoned God, killed Deagol. In a way. Love God. Different God. They have a whole different system. As a whole, there's a lot of different systems. Well, all gods are the same.

In fiction and in fact. It's all kind of the same presence that we're talking about. There's different routes to it, I think. No, because all these different gods have different opinions. Well, we made that part up probably, right? If we're talking about a pantheon of different gods, it's like we all give them cute little personalities and traits and stuff. But the concept of God, you're right.

The exact same everywhere. It's like we're just thinking of a high degree. What is something else you would put on your life? I don't know. You know. Okay. Oh, yeah. Let's dive in to

Hometown Buffet. Hometown Buffet. Hometown Buffet. Hometown Buffet. Come on down. Come on down. When you're home, you're here. When you're home, you're here. When you're here, you're home. Yeah, there you go. Both.

When you're home, you're here. When you're home, you're here. When you go home, you're at the home buffet. You're at the home buffet. I think that is the slogan. Build us a plate. Yeah. Build us a plate.

Okay. So, well, let me set this scene first. Set the table first. Yeah. Sneeze guards. Okay. So this hometown buffet that I used to go to. Oh, 100%.

Of course there's sneeze guards. Yeah. There has to be. If there's not, I don't want to be there. Me neither. Me neither. They're guarding the sneezes. Two vertical stations, but they're situationed vertically.

Parallels to the ground, though. From my vantage point, as a child at the hometown buffet is how I've chosen to describe this. It's not cutting you off. Yeah, you walk in. You're walking in and it's straight instead of, it's not cutting you off. Yeah, you walk in. You're welcomed right into line. Yes, exactly. I'm with you. And they're really long. Like both of the tables.

Really, really long. We're onto the bump today. Every kind of food under the sun. Everything imaginable. Fried chicken. Yeah. Sushi. Yeah, yeah.

What? I don't like that. I just had to ask because you said yes to that. It's not that I wanted it to be there. No, I know. Listen, Hometown Buffet is not, like, awesome. It's, like, it's awesome in its way. It's awesome in its, like.

Mac and cheese. Yeah, oh, that's, like, a staple. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Cinnamon apples. Like, teriyaki chicken wings. Not bad. Some, like, broccolini. Vegetarian food.

Not so much. Mac and cheese. There's mac and cheese. Broccolini. There's mac and cheese broccolini. There's like weird little dishes that are like. Soft serve. Oh, I was going to get there.

That's the whole point. That's the coup d'etat. Honestly, that's why I brought it up. I was going to say coup d'etat. I was going to say coup d'etat. Then she said it. Not bad. Not bad. The coup d'etat. The coup d'etat. Honestly, that's why I brought it up. I was going to say coup d'etat. I was going to say coup d'etat. Then she said it. Not bad. Not bad.

The coup d'etat. The coup d'etat. Yeah. I don't think that's actually the right. Is it? It's the coup d'etat. It's the coup d'etat of the whole meal. Right?

We're doing it right. What does coup d'etat translate to? Well, coup d'etat is a state takeover. Rebellion. Right? Rebellion, yeah. Well, you're rebelling against the idea that you shouldn't have soft serve. That's right.

When people say this is the coup d'etat. The coup d'etat. Rebel. Maybe the coup de grace is like the final. Yeah. No, I don't think so. This is the coup de grace. This is the coup d'etat.

We're rebelling against the idea. Google, what does coup d'etat mean? Will you tell us? Say it in the real. Cut. Cut the state. Cut the state. Yeah, cut the state. Google what is good is how many we don't say it in the real cut It's a coup and what is your because days of it that's what the word oh Good at ah Nailing it good Coup de grace.

Oh, coup de grace is also violent? Okay, so this is the coup de grace. Yeah. Oh, the coup de grace. Okay, cool. Wordy gra. Just kidding. We don't care.

Coup de grace, yum. That's off serve. Yes, off serve. That like, my parents were the kind of parents that were like not cool with sweets and ice cream fuck that I know oh I know fuck that a girl from Los Angeles

yeah dog like it was it was really gnarly we're in the class where you gotta have a sweet we're talking like tofu-ty cuties

and like just like weird weird substitute snacks that are like hundred calorie packs of little Oreos

and they weren't even Oreos. I love what that would do for a young brain. Yeah. We began the hour with how you doing and I said, okay.

Okay. Yeah. Wait, build a plate for us. Okay, yeah. What are we doing in there? So I was major mac and cheese. Like major mac and cheese, mashed potatoes. major mac and cheese like major mac and cheese mashed potatoes major mac and cheese reporting for duty i would die for you major mac and cheese

uh yeah okay like half the thing is mac and cheese maybe like chicken tenders maybe mashed potatoes and then like salad to impress whoever I was with. You're going to a hometown buffet and trying to impress someone? Yeah, even as a child. Well, like we have established, it wasn't the healthiest of eating habits, perhaps. Perhaps. Oh, no worries. Methinks.

Yeah. Methinks it was a little bit disordered. If you don't have disordered eating stuff from childhood, you're weird. You should have a little bit of disordered eating from childhood. I think so. I think every person I've talked to almost has that. Some version, yeah. I'm trying to think if I do. Do I? I think you do. Okay, no worries.

You didn't experience those 100 calorie packs of snacks? My parents were really chill on food. Cool. The whole deal was there was a cabinet of snacks and they were like, get. The whole deal was there was a cabinet of like snacks and they were like get what you want.

And there was a drawer of fruit and they were like get what you want. And because I always had access to the snacks I almost always went for fruit.

I love this stuff. See that's fucking that's right. That's awesome. That's right. That makes sense to me. It's like how in Europe they let the kids

like have wine when they're like nine and it doesn't matter. So they're 18 and they're like I don't care about wine. It's cool. in Europe they let the kids have wine when they're like nine and it doesn't matter. So they're 18 and they're like, I don't care about wine. It's cool. I don't care about wine. I know about it, but I don't want it. Except they want to smoke cigarettes in an alleyway. Yeah. However they are.

However they are, yeah. But you know what I mean? Like that idea. God, I wish I was European. Do you know, one time someone thought I was French. You probably are in some way, right? You are definitely in the lineage way. You think? Yeah.

What else would you be? I don't know. I don't want to be that kind of European. I don't want to be European in that way because then I'm related to those people. And they were not cool. Not at all. Someone thought you were French? Yeah, someone thought I was French.

Did you? I was abroad. I was in Italy, and before they talked to me, it was a waiter. Studying or just being? Just being, just hanging out. God bless. I was abroad. You have to ask.

Yeah. In what capacity? Is that what I said? Did I say I was abroad? You said I was abroad? Yeah. What? Why would I say that?

That's not something I would usually say. Playback. Yeah. Playback, she said it. The cameras, the microphones, it puts people in weird space. What are your politics, by the way? No, no, no. They thought you were French.

That's beautiful. Yeah, I felt so hot. You have a liberated energy. Oh my god. You feel evolved to me. Whoa, this, okay, you know, okay. I'm in a conversation on a blanket in a park that tells me. Yeah, you feel evolved to me. Whoa, it's okay, you know? Okay. I'm in a conversation on a blanket in a park that tells me. Yeah, you feel evolved to me.

Damn. Thank you so much. You're somewhere where we are not. I would have come out to you. Oh my God. I wouldn't have, but that's because I didn't come out to anyone. Yeah. Hey.

That was a whole journey on its own, wasn't it? Oh, yeah. The first person I came out to was my boyfriend. Whoa. As what did you say? As a bi. You were like a bi, and your boyfriend was like what? Yeah. He was cool. Ooh. Yeah what did you say? As a bi. You're like a bi and your boyfriend was like what? Yeah. He was cool.

Yeah he was really cool. He was like me too. Well. She was like I'm gay. You're like fuck. He tries to win. He's like I'm non-binary. You're like what's going on? I'm asexual. I don't want to. I do think asexual people are powerful. Asexual people? Of course they are.

Probably responsible for most of the stuff that happens. It removes an entire part of the world outside of. Hold on. I'm sorry. I do think asexual people are powerful. Asexual people? Of course they are. Probably responsible for most big stuff that happens. It removes an entire part of the world outside of. Hold on. I'm sorry. I'm interested in what you said. But I'm really interested in what you said. They're responsible for most big stuff that happens. Yeah.

What do you mean by that? Scientology. I feel like L. Ron Hubbard, deeply asexual. Really? Even though actually famously he was fucking, he has an energy. You think that was a business transaction? I do. Yeah, I think. You don't think that was sex. You think that was a business transaction? I do. Yeah, I think.

You don't think that was sex. You think that was like a card swipe. Yeah. And I just think asexual people have all the time in the world. They do. I mean, I have no opinion on L. Ron Hubbard or the church, by the way. Just so everyone knows, I'm completely out of it. We're covering the ass.

I have no opinion. They seem fine to me. Or they just, I don't think of them. All good. Elrond, if you're watching this, leave us be, baby. No worries. Whatever, all the buildings you own, I'm sure that whatever's going on in there is cool. And I like that you guys have a TV station now.

Yeah, I love what you guys are. Why not? I don't even love. It's no big deal with me. It's cool. It's all good. It's no big deal with me. It's cool, it's all good. It's no big deal with me. Wait, what were we even talking about? Oh yeah, your buffet plate

Yeah The salad to impress someone that we ended The salad to impress. And then soft serve at the end Yeah, a salad to impress. Salad to impress Yeah, that's a That's a song on your new album, right? Ooh, that is a new album. Salad to impress. That's right Will you give us a little taste of salad to impress? Yeah I got a song on your new album, right? Ooh, that is a new album. Salad. That's right. Will you give us a little taste of Salad to Impress?

Yeah. I got a salad on my plate. And it's a salad to impress my friend that I'm with. Ooh. What? Wait. Why is that beautiful? What the fuck?

Why am I like, okay, put it on the album. Bonus track. Bonus track. Bonus track. Bonus track. Could you do it again the exact same way? Did they already press the vinyl? Bonus track. I'm going to try.

I'm going to try and remember it. Okay, go, go. I got it again? Because they already pressed the vinyl. Bonus track. I'm gonna try. I'm gonna try and remember it. Okay, go, go. I gotta sell it on my... Nope, it's already fucked. No, you were good. And I'm gonna play to impress my friend with... It was something like that. Yeah.

Yeah, it's close. My recall. Maybe not so good. It's so good. Beautiful. Dang. Thank you guys so much. I'm gonna play to impress...

She's like... Yeah. Thank you. so much. Sound to impress. She's like. Yeah. Cute. Sound to impress. You know what? I'm going to listen to the album. Now? I got him.

I got him. He's in now. Just now I was like, I'm going to stand. Yep. And before this, it was really, I was pulling teeth with him. It was here and there. Fair enough. I was like, Lou's really talented. Obviously.

And he was like, sure. Sure. He never fought me on it, but he just talented. Obviously. And he was like, sure. Sure. He never fought me on it, but he just wouldn't engage. On my show like a week ago. Lou, we wanted to ask you something. Flex.

Flex. Well, we wanted to ask you, what's something so embarrassing in all of humanity that you would delete it all together? You would delete it

from the record. And it doesn't have to be It doesn't have to be the big stuff. It doesn't have to be Scientology. We wouldn't, but it wouldn't have to be that

it's fine it's cool because it's cool with us it's cool with us but it happens man man man

okay I had a few because like when I really thought about it and there was so much more stuff that I

would delete than put on like when I was thinking about it yeah we don't live a good life wow there's so much more stuff that I would delete than put on. Like when I was thinking about it all. Yeah, we don't live a good life. Wow, there's so much gnarly, bad stuff. Yeah, we live a really cursed world. Okay, you know what?

Let's just go with country clubs. Oh my God. Right? Thank you. Right? You're Jewish, right? Yeah. Well, you're from LA. Yeah, though there are Jews in country clubs here. In Cleveland, we're not allowed. Right. Thank you. Right. You're Jewish, right? Yeah. Well, you're from LA. Yeah.

Though there are Jews in country clubs here. In Cleveland we're not allowed. Yeah. It's so fucked up. It's so fucked up and it's like so embarrassing to me. It's just like wow. Like you guys are, you need this. This is what you need and that's it. And then I don't know.

It's like the money is just so gross. That's the grossest money you fucking sadist golf with your friends in public you can go in public you're fine you're fine it's weird it's weird and like oh like that's where people treat staff poorly straight up yes i've got a doubt i really have gotten to the point like i'm about to quit my country club like i'm sick i'm sick of it. It's not fun anymore. And the facilities aren't even as good as they used to be.

Right, and you can't find good help anywhere now, by the way. No one wants to work anymore. No one wants to work, by the way. Okay. Haven't talked in a while. People are worried. So many members of the same country club. I haven't talked in a while and people are getting concerned.

Yeah. No, they're bad. No, for real. I am an equipment. I had a lot of friends. Country clubs are big in Cleveland. Like, there's a lot of them and a lot of people not only belong to them, but it's like all they fucking do. Yeah, and that's so weird to me.

It's like every night they're like, well, we'll just go to the club. It's like, why? do. Yeah, and that's so weird to me. It's like every night they're like, well, we'll just go to the club. It's like, why? Yeah. Go home for a second. They hate their lives. Well, it's a place, I think, when you're a member,

this is just questions, you would know. Yeah. Do you, is everything free? No. Is it cheaper? No. You just get to go in.

That's crazy. That's my understanding. If I'm going to join a club like that, you better believe I want either perks. What are perks? Just access, right? There's access, but then there's... No, there's perks, I would say. There's perks, yeah.

But if you go to the restaurant, you're paying a bill. Oh, yeah, absolutely. You can charge it to your account. I want at least four free drinks a time I visit. No. Absolutely not. I want that. It's like your privilege time I visit. No. Absolutely not. I want that. It's like your privilege

is that you get to order the drinks. Right. The ultimate privilege. No, I want it. I want one. The ultimate privilege of a country club is that you don't have to be around poor people. And thank God.

That's what they win. That's what they win. It's like, oh, poor people can't come in here. Except for the staff. Except for the staff. Well, but we get to be mean to them. So that's like a, you know. Right, it's kind of what you pay for. If's like, oh, poor people can't come in here. Except for the staff. Except for the staff. Well, but we get to be mean to them. So that's like a, you know. Right, it's kind of what you pay for.

If you get to see a poor person, you get to talk down to them. That's the membership. When was the first country club? It was 1903, and it was in Lexington, Kentucky, if you can believe it. It was actually founded by the family that started Miracle Bread. And they owned it for 20 to 30 years, and then it was taken over by the Rockefellers. That's right.

And they sort of branched it off from there. Rockefellers are from Cleveland. Rockefellers are from Cleveland, right, which is why there are so many in Cleveland. Yeah. Yeah. Flex. Flex. Is that true?

Flex on them. That the Rockefellers are from Cleveland? Uh-huh. Yes. Yeah. This is big. Yeah. For you.

Yeah. Paul Rudd's from Kansas City. He's so hot. Yeah. And he? Yeah. Paul Rudd's from Kansas City. He's so hot. Yeah. And he doesn't age. No, but... When are we going to stop saying that about Paul Rudd for real? When are they going to stop posting pictures of women that are 32 and being like,

when will this bitch age? She's aged backwards. It's like, what? No. And then they'll be like, Paul Rudd hasn't aged a day in 45 years. He has.

He has. But he has. He has. He looks different. He looks good. He looks good. He looks good and older. Okay, it's because we're using

aging as an insult. Come on now. And that's fucked. No, well, it's correct in a lot of ways. Come on. To age is not an insult, right? Right.

It can't be. I'm not going to do it, but I understand. Exactly, I'm going to die young. Those who choose to do it. Those who choose to age, let them be. I'm going to die young with a lot of face work. But if you don't do those two things, go off. Keep on it.

Have you done it? I've done it. I did Botox here, and I did it here. I haven't yet, but I got to tell you, I got an unsolicited text the other day that was like, hey it I've done I did Botox here and I did it here I haven't yet but I gotta tell you I got an unsolicited text the other day that was like hey are you gonna get Botox

no and I said I guess should I be getting work I really this happened to me I was at a friend's house the other night

and she was you look young young yeah you look young very young yeah and you are very young you are no do. You are. No, do I really?

You can't get Botox because then you can't audition for the 45-year-old. No shit. I can't audition for the things I'm going out for. Everything I get sent out for is like 57, mechanic.

Or it's like gay, biggest bitch you've ever met. Two lines, doesn't have a name, carries a purse. It's like, it's like the most. Kayla's like,

I'm getting called in for grizzled 65 year old. I'm like, I wouldn't call you grizzled, wouldn't call you 65. Okay, no word. You can't do it. They might change the role. It's like from grizzled 65 to mid 20s having a good time. I bet he does.

And he loves young men at the clubhouse. No, I will get work if you think I should. Everybody sound off in the comments. Unsolicited text on my phone from our friend, Lily. Really wild. Really? That's really.

Not the person I would expect it from. Exactly why it hurt. Wow, if you knew this person, you'd be like, really? Okay, what'd be like, really? Okay. What are we like, health nut, like not really in favor of stuff like that, vegan sort of, is it that vibe? It is vegetarian, but I'm vegetarian and I'm kind of whatever on the Botox thing. Yeah, exactly.

But I, the vibe is off with asking me to get Botox. Oh, major. Yeah, that's terrible. And they are one of the most surprising people to ask me to do it, but that's what made me be like, I guess so. A friend told me the other week. I'm about to get a needle in my face. And she was like, I'm getting preventative.

And I was like, oh, fuck. Do I need to be in the game? Was I there for that? Why do I feel like I was? You weren't there for this one. Did we have a recent conversation about Botox together? We might have also had one. Yeah. We're in on it. I hate to be this age when it's like, we should all be getting it, right? I'm going to get,

if I do it, I'm going all the way. I'm not just going to get a little shot here and there. I'm going to get weight loss surgery. I'm going to get a different forehead.

Just go all in. I'm going to go away for one year. You're going to get hair plugs with a plenty of hair. I'm going to go for one year and I'm going to come back

and people are not going to like me. I'm going to be bad vibes. Not recognize, like going to come back, and people are not going to like me. I'm going to be bad vibes. Not recognize, like. Like. Wow. They won't know who I am, and they won't enjoy it. That's like what happened on The Swan.

Oh, my God, The Swan. Wait. Have you guys ever seen Style by Jury? No. Style by Jury is a— I love court, and I love fashion. Well, you're going to love... I'm in.

If you like seeing a broken down person get bullied on TV, you're going to love this. They will bring someone on. They bring someone in and they tell them that they're giving them a makeover or something. They're going to give you a new haircut or something. They put them in a room. Behind a two-way mirror, or a one-way, whatever, the one where you can't see people on the other side, there is 12 of their peers rattling off everything that's physically wrong about them. A jury of your peers, you might call them.

A jury of your peers rattling off everything that's wrong about them. Her eyes are baggy. She looks like she let herself go after she had kids. They're going in, no filter. They're like, she's ugly. She looks like she lives on the street. They're showing this while they're interviewing her, and they're like, what do you like about yourself?

And she's like, I think I have a good smile. I'm going to kill myself. People behind the window are like, she thinks she have a good smile. I'm gonna kill myself. People behind the window are like, she thinks she has a good smile. Like they're like ripping them apart. And then they show, they show her the footage of the jury saying all this and they go,

will you let us fix you? And she just is like, yeah. And then they do. That's more fucked up than the swan. Yeah. The nicest things our listeners has ever done for me

is when I ask them to insult me and they didn't. Because if that happened to me, I would kill myself. I said you guys can insult me, but be gentle and no one did. Yeah. That's true. That's so brave, honestly. Well, I told them it would hurt me.

Yeah. Our listeners are nice to shall be mean to me. They're not mean to you. They just offer sometimes that maybe you're mean to me. They don't see the dynamic. They're not fully in. They don't mean to you. They just offer sometimes that maybe you're mean to me. They don't see the dynamic. They're not fully in. They don't really get it. No one really gets it.

Who could? No. They haven't seen the way that we make love. They haven't seen us in the darkness of night. I can confirm those rumors. Caleb and Shelby fuck. We do more than fuck. We make love.

They make love. That's right. We make love. Yeah. And we make art. I would consider when we have sex to be art. All three of us. They make love, that's right. We make love. Yeah. And we make art. I would consider when we have sex to be art,

all three of us. I think we can delete country clubs. I think, country clubs, yeah, and I'm gonna quit mine for real.

Now that you say all this, I'm like, I'm getting out of there. It's time. Yeah. What's something else you would put on your records? Yeah.

Put on, um, go, put your record, go ahead. Uh, ooh, that's such a good song

I can't fucking believe that you guys didn't know Claire DeLune that's what I did so fucked up but I'm not sold that you did because you weren't like your reaction wasn't like yes because Lou the problem with what you're thinking of me is that

you think I have culture no that's the whole thing I do and I don is that you think I have culture. I don't. No, that's the whole thing. I do and I don't. That's fine. I have to. Shelby's always touching the microphone. I keep hitting it.

I've hit it six or seven times. Well, Anya wants me dead. I sound like a mannequin. Damn. Do you notice how much I move during this? No, and it's all really coordinated too.

It's like your gesturing is very aware. Anya, mine is. I'm like right here. I never touch. Anya wants me to have a lav mic or something where I can't touch it and then wants to see me pass away. Shelby was like, I would kill myself if I got bullied. And Anya's like, cool, good to know.

Anya's like, stop fucking touching your mic. Off camera, Anya's giving me the middle finger. Saying, you're touching your fucking mic, bitch. And I'm like, uh. Ani also has the biggest jug of water I've ever seen. Shelby's like, oh. Shelby's like, stop.

Wait, wait, seriously. I gotta get an ASMR channel. What would you, regardless of everything else going on in the room, what would you put on your records? Oh, one, a sandwich from Jack in the Box.

That is a supreme croissant with no meat. Well, these people are harassing me right now. I know. Kayla made a mistake with Jack in the Box. Jack in the Box. I made one mistake about either harassing me. No. I made one joke.

They responded once. Did they not? No, but now there was an Instagram moment. They have a hashtag now. Say yes, Jack, please. Have you seen this? I saw. That one. Yes. With the hashtag. I tweeted

it takes a sick and fucked up individual to come up with the Jack in the Box menu. Which is true. The menu as a whole does not paint a picture. It doesn't make any sense. It makes no sense. And they respond. They're like so true. Can we reshare this? Respond Jackbox hashtag yes. I'm like what's going on? God.

What's the sandwich you would put on? That is it. It's called the Supreme Croissant but I get it with no'm like, what's going on? What's the sandwich you would put on? That is it. It's called the Supreme Croissant, but I get it with no meat. But what's in it? It's a croissant with cheese. Croissant. Is it spelled different or are you saying it French?

Am I supposed to say croissant? I don't know. Does everyone say croissant? Say it the way you say it. I'm not going to say it anymore. I can't say it. No, that's the last time I'm gonna say it is it unlikely

that they would spell like croissant K-W-O a jackassant K-W-O it's not unlikely that Jack would be like yeah

we're gonna get funky with it we're gonna get funky this is a croissant I can't say it anymore you have to no I can't I'm just gonna say what I would say

I would say croissant yeah and what would you do I'd say croissant you said croissant. I can't say it anymore. You have to. No, I can't. I'm just going to say what I would say. I would say croissant. Yeah. And what would you do? I can't. I'd say croissant. You said croissant. And what would you say? You're saying croissant.

You said, what's the name of the item on the menu? What are you putting on the record? What are you putting on the record? You have to tell us for the episode. Actually, I think I'd rather kill myself. Croissant, you're saying? I think I'm doing a half, halfway between like a full French

and out of American. When I talk about cafe tropical, I don't ever want to say tropical. But you have to. And I'm understanding where you're at. Supreme croissant. Supreme croissant. Dude, fuck. supreme croissant dude fuck

because it's not even the like jokey like croissant it's like it's conversational croissant yeah it's like supreme croissant for supreme to be the word of it

such an American word supreme is so of the day. Such an American word. Supreme is so America. So there's an American croissant. We're talking about Jack in the Box. Right. Please. And you have the audacity. It's because you're French.

Yeah, man. It's true. Lou's like, I can't stand the pomposity of country clubs. But I love a croissant in the afternoon. Lou says, when I get a jack-in-the-box, I get the craziest thing on their little freaky menu. I get the supreme croissant. Oh my god, I think I'm gonna fucking die.

I think I'm gonna fucking die right now. Oh wait, actually, that's a track off your next album. Will you give us a little taste? Supreme Croissant. The supreme croissant that I ordered at the cafe is coming to me right now. Calling Jack in the Box again. There it is.

Calls Jack in the Box again. This one felt a little less on brand than Salad on My Plate. I leaned into the French aspect of it all. And it was snappy. I can do another version. Give us the B-sides. Okay.

Ladies and gentlemen, The Ringer. This is when Really Bad Guy did the remix. What's up? Bad bad guy makes music. Oh, doctor or whatever.

No. I'm trying not to make people bleep. Really bad guy. Really bad guy. Really bad guy in music. Letter initial. Last name is the first name of a woman.

Chris Brown. So many. So many really really bad guys. Say it again. He's trapped in the Oh. And he did the remix which's trapped in the car. Oh. And he did the remix, which was better than the OG.

I do not fuck with him. This is what I'm hoping happens with Chris Song. I disavow him. Unacceptable behavior. 100%. I'm just saying he made a remix that was better than the original, and I'm wondering if that's what's going to happen with Chris Song. So this is my art. Yeah.

Moment. This is the revving the car remix. Supreme croissant. Okay, then I'm going to channel that then for this. Ladies and gentlemen, the ringer. Supreme croissant coming to me in the mail. And I'm going to eat it with my hands. The mail.

The mail. It comes in the mail. Gold belly, baby. It's coming in the mail, baby. What's on the sandwich? We never got to that. Oh, no. It was just in the mail, baby. Obsessed. What's on the sandwich? We never got to that. Oh, no. It was just egg and cheese, but in a way.

That's so special. Oh, because it's on a croissant. On a... What meat's usually on it? Bacon. Yum. That's supreme to them? I would say that they probably do like a bacon sausage.

You know, when someone says supreme, I'm like, you're getting a lot of meat. Yeah, that's actually fair, but it's not very supreme at all. That's just what it's called. Nice. Is it big? No. No. Okay.

It's compact. It's so dense. It's like dense. It's a croissant that's dense? Well, the croissant is... There you go. You got me. You got me.

Fuck. It's light and buttery and flaky. But then it's like somehow smushed in a way that's so good. I love what they're up to, no problem. Do you guys, is like Jack in the Box on your radar? Are you going? It is not in the Midwest. No.

So it is something that I had to, my mom really likes Jack in the Box. I think Jack in the Box. But she's in the Midwest. But she grew up in Arizona. Okay. Thank God. Thank God. She would not have made it through Cleveland in the Midwest. But she grew up in Arizona. Okay. Thank God. Thank God. She would not have made it through Cleveland in the winter.

She's lived there for like 50 years. 50 years. She's like 60. Jeez. Jeez. She's lived in Cleveland for like 30 years. I had a hiccup and I stopped it. I didn't want to interrupt.

Anyway, she likes Jack in the Box because there was something about, they were like the first fast food restaurant to do something that she liked. Impossible or something? No. She liked it growing up. Oh. Like, wait, do something like a menu item? She's been a vegetarian a long time.

It might have been something that was vegetarian or, so like I guess in line with Impossible but more just like omitting meat or like something with breakfast or something. Maybe not making the fries

and animal fat. Something, yeah. I know that she likes Jack in the Box a lot. Maybe that's it. Yeah. I can ask her but I just know

there is something. I call her on the pod. Yeah. Lou, look, we are at the end of our time with you. Because we goofed off about stuff too much. Can you tell us what was, can you give us the quick version of what was left on your record?

Just so that the aliens can get it, because we really want the aliens to get your stuff. Totally. Okay, Neapolitan ice cream sandwich was one. Massive, thank you for saying it. Yeah, like all three. Yeah. You're right. Yeah.

Another one is a journal entry of mine that I don't know do we have to read it we have time we have to have time okay sometimes you make time

for things that matter this is from 2001 thank you I found it the other day I had to take a bunch of stuff home from my mom's house she moved

and I was like okay you know I have to either keep all of this childhood shit or so when I'm nine okay when I'm nine

cute yeah wolf on the cover but it's not yeah wolf on the cover beautiful this childhood shit or... So, when I'm nine. Okay, when I'm nine. Cute. Yeah. Wolf on the cover. But it's not... Yeah, wolf on the cover. Beautiful. Okay, I put the worst bookmark that you could possibly put in.

Okay. Are you ready for this? So ready. This is literally word for word. I am nine years old. It's psycho. Okay. Okay.

Two things to tell ya. One, it's about Neil. He told me... Let's start from the beginning he got out of school yesterday i told him not to book anything for the rest of the day since it was a half day so i call him and he says he's going to hometown buffet but i'm not going to be here for two weeks on the count of i'm going to sleep away camp the The way you talk. So Gloria calls him. Gloria was my nanny and is talking to Audwa, his nanny. Those are, I'm clarifying for you.

She hung up the phone and told me Neil had a friend over. So what I'm trying to get to you is that not only was he going to hometown buffet, he was going with a friend dun dun dun from school oh not someone from school and then on the previous next page it says he lied

to me oh my god it's massive it's massive and scary in massive letters if I'm Neil I'm scared for my life and if I'm Neil, I'm scared for my life. And if I'm your mom, I'm really sad for you. Yeah. There's something going on in your heart. Honestly, I'm going to end it there at he lied to me.

He lied to me. I just think that that is such a. Your little heart. Yeah, my little. My heart is on my sleeve in every moment of that. Yeah. And it's me right now being extremely vulnerable and reading this crazy little

entry right now. No, we love that. That's perfect. And the aliens are going to really like that. I think that's going to give them a whole... They'll give them a slice of life from a weird little kid. You also do something that I guess I must have done when I was a kid but didn't realize until I now hang out with my little cousins who are like seven and nine. And they do this thing where they'll be like,

well, I've just about had it up to here. This day has been a little too much to handle. Like they talk like these cartoon characters. Yes, exactly. That are written by adults. And it's so funny to hear them talk like this. It's one of those things where you're like, I hate when they write like a precocious kid in a show.

It's so unrealistic. And then you're like, talk to a nine-year-old. And they're like, I really don't like your tone with me right now. They're mimicking. Right? They're learning they with me right now. Right, right, right. They're mimicking. Right, they're learning they're mimicking and that's what, yeah. What's that video, like old viral video that was like, no.

Oh, Chocolate Rain. Oh, Chocolate Rain. No, do you know the little kid who's like, Charlie bit me. No, he's talking to his mom. Charlie bit my finger. And he's like, really, Glinda? Whatever her name is

no no no Glinda you're not listening you're not listening Glinda listen Linda listen Linda listen listen listen Linda yeah

and he was right he's right and it's pretty cute and he's doing this it's cute Glinda Glinda you're not listening Glinda Glinda

listen yeah he was cute it was cute well what else Lou honestly I think that might have been it for things I would put on. It's a perfect record. Is there anything you want to say to the aliens? Oh.

Sorry. No, I was just going to say something cool. No, you say something cool and then we'll ask that. We'll cut all this. This is all cut. And then you say your thing. Shelby, you had something. I don't want to do it anymore.

I feel embarrassed. Lou, is there anything you want to say? Well, so. Is there anything you want to say to the aliens? Speaking of perfect records, Lou has a perfect record out today. Out today. Pure chaos. That's right.

Pure chaos. Go stream. You've got to stream it wherever you stream it. And frankly, buy it. Buy it. That's what I'll say to the aliens. I'll say stream. I regret it immediately. it. That's what I'll say to the aliens. I'll say stream. I regret it immediately.

No, it's true. I'll say stream pure chaos on all of your alien streaming platforms. Lou's dumb talented. Aliens Spotify. So you have to listen. Lou is a fucked up good artist. I can't stop. Damn.

It's called ADHD and I'm not a baby. Get out there and stream pure chaos, little freaks. And tell your friends because this album is going to change your lives. Baby. Get out there and stream Pure Chaos, Little Freaks, and tell your friends because this album is going to change your lives. Damn. And then there's going to be some touring going on

as well, I believe. On May 5th at the Airliner in Los Angeles, California, I have my ticket, so I will be there. That's right. Thank you so much, Lou.

You've been an incredible guest. Thank you. Thanks for having me on. Ringers, you heard it here first. You heard it here, Ringers. Fuck my life, dude. Man, I got a ring.

That was a Hiddem Original.