Keeping Records - Defending Rubbernecking (with Marcella Arguello)

Episode Date: July 23, 2021

Caleb and Shelby welcome stand-up comedian Marcella Arguello into the Headgum family the only way they know how—by getting into a Dick Feud with her. TBQH it's mostly Shelby's feud, with Caleb instigating and causing chaos from the sidelines (as he does). And all this happens around building Marcella's Golden Record, which has iconic TV, iconic music, iconic GIFs, iconic nails, and iconic toddlers. Marcella's Artifacts Rihanna GIF where she rolls up the car window (visual) Mariah Carey, Butterfly (audio) Seinfeld (audio-visual) A hug from a toddler who thinks you’re the coolest person on the planet (multisensory experience) Press-On nails (human ephemera) Follow Marcella on Twitter and Instagram, watch her comedy live, and listen to her and Niccole Thurman's new Headgum podcast The Scroll Down. Follow the show @keepingrecordspod Advertise on Keeping Records via Gumball.fm See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This is a HeadGum Original. In 1977, NASA sent two solid gold records into space so that aliens might find them and understand life on Earth. I send greetings on behalf of the people of our planet and friendly wishes to all who may encounter this voyager. Now, we're making new records with our friends. Bonjour tout le monde. Konnichiwa.

Hola y saludos a todos. Assalamu alaikum. We step out of our solar system into the universe seeking only peace and friendship. We know full well that our planet and all its inhabitants are but a small part of this immense universe that surrounds us. Hello from the children of planet Earth. Well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well. What's up, Shelb? What's up, Caleb? The way I said what's up, Shelb, kind of gave like morning radio show vibes.

Don't you think? Yeah, and then the way I said your name was kind of like Caleb. What's up, Caleb? Caleb. Whenever my mom gets drunk, she pronounces my sister's name differently. My sister's name's Alana, and when my mom gets drunk, she calls her Ilana. And then when we say, why are you calling her that? She goes, that's how it's spelled.

She's in charge. You chose the spelling, and you've pronounced it forever alana she's in charge oh we also keeping records heads record record keepers record fans record nuts keepies keepos it's been a second since shelby and i have done an original artifact on the show and we want to explain to you why that is well here's the thing we want to do it we're still interested we want to tell you we think they're really cool and interesting we keep recording our episodes about 27 hours before they have to come out and it's horrible for mike and it's bad for us you guys love mike you guys love mike and you would hate if we put him out admit it yeah you have to admit it so we're already putting him out we can't put him out further it's not because he's asked us to we just every time that we record truly 15

minutes before that needs to be dropped we say let's not do an artifact this week next episode after Marcel we are going to do an artifact stop he buried the lead down stop buried the lead yeah well I'm radical transparency radical truth I'm tired of the politics radical candor you have to have radical candor on this podcast I'm tired of the politics. Radical candor. You have to have radical candor on this podcast. I'm tired of the politics. We're doing it real from now on. Shelby, how are you? You know, I am understanding in this moment that I'm going to be really sore later. You went to the gym with us this morning. Yeah, I did. And I know what the next 48 is going to be like for me.

Yeah, you kind of when I come home from the gym and the next like 48 it's gonna be like for me yeah you kind of when i come home from the gym and the next day or so i complain about being sore you kind of you kind of think i'm being a baby but now you're living it well you are no no don't say that yes it's true yeah i'm a huge baby every time i work out no matter how hard i do but i only like i don't like if i work out and i don't feel sore because then i feel like i didn't do it i'm like well okay did i actually work a muscle or did i just sort of like hold some stuff okay you know what i mean yeah you disagree you like the feeling of not being sore oh i well yeah there's no there i never want to be uncomfortable in life i don't like doing anything that i don't like i should always be doing exactly what i want to be doing well then

you'll never grow well then you'll never grow and i'm really okay with that i would be okay with that but people make me feel bad about it so i go to the gym yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah did i ask how you are no you did not but you did say yeah 17 times which was interesting well i wanted people to know that i felt yeah um how are you i'm good dude i um gosh what's going on with me i'm i'm i'm booking flights and hotels and shows in other cities and it is so fascinating for me to be doing that because the world is say it with me closing again yeah i don't know what's going on and i'm scared that i'm doing all this for nothing, and we'll just have to see what comes up with it.

But right now, I'm currently just planning my life as if everything's going to be okay. That's iconic. It's really iconic. I love to be, you know, oblivious. Oh, yeah, that's how I get through life, baby. Just pretending that nothing is bad. That's how I do it.

Yeah, he's an optimist, folks. Really? Really? My biggest, I'll say this, and then we'll, speaking of iconic, bring in our guest. This is the last thing I'll say for the intro. be just pretending that nothing is bad that's how i do it yeah he's an optimist folks i really my biggest i'll say this and then we'll speaking of iconic bring in our guests this is the last thing i'll say for the intro i i won i got so depressed in college because i could not stop thinking about the idea of my life ending and the way i fixed it and what works for me to this day is that when i think of when i'm confronted with death and media or the news or anything, I just go, oh, I'm not gonna die. And I just go, oh, that's not for me. That happens to other people.

And it fixed my depression. God, we are so different. You know that I constantly am telling people I'm gonna die young. Yeah, and I used to believe that about myself. And then I changed my, now I have a billionaire mindset. And I have a growth mentality.

I have a billionaire mindset. You guys, we are so excited about our guest today. She's an absolute icon. You know her from doing stand-up. You know her from the podcast, The Scroll Down on HeadGum. Brand new podcast. You guys have to go listen

and absolutely take that. We'll have her say it again at the end of the episode. But on July 31st, she's going to be performing in New York City at the Bell House. Please put your paws and fins and mittens and everything in between together for our best friend in the whole world marcella y'all are kooky you're a little kooky i like it marcella quit you're kooky it's cute no i'm not take that back right now

you gotta no i fucking you're not behind you you got it yeah you are kind of in like a real that was a good impression that gave me kind of uh diane keaton vibes i'm so stressed oh my god because i said so the love of my life Is on the other side Of that door Hey You are serving Sort of like Journalist

In a 90s romcom Yes For those For those listening For those I'm in my mother's office That's what this is I love that

I don't know If she's still married But she's gonna find love soon I can tell From the office. Marcella, where are you in the world? I'm trying to talk about my dead father that way, you fucking bitch. Oh, no.

Oh, my God. Shelby, apologize now. Thank you. Yeah, I am sorry. I am sorry. Apology rejected. What's the point of an apology? Okay.

What? Where are you in the world? Where is your mom's office at? In Modesto, California. Modesto. Why do I know the name Modesto? What is it from? Everybody knows Scott Peterson. What's her at? In Modesto, California. Modesto. Why do I know the name Modesto? What is it from? Everybody knows Scott Peterson.

What's her name? Oh, my God. Yeah, I know. Oh, my God. Claim to fame. Yeah, that's crazy. 209 till I die or get murdered. 209.

Either way. Good to know. How are you doing? How is your life, do you think? You know what? Global tragedy aside, I'm doing great. I'm happy. I'm healthy. You know. Fuck global tragedy. We're talking about you. You're is your life, do you think? You know what? Global tragedy aside, I'm doing great. I'm happy. I'm healthy.

Fuck global tragedy. We're talking about you. You're chill. Yeah, exactly. I'm doing great. I'm fine. I'm happy. I performed last night with Nicole Byer.

That's always fun. She's a riot. She's the best. She's great. She's working on her hour. It's so fun to watch. So I'm happy. How did you...

We're really excited about your new podcast but nicole how did y'all come up with that like what is the origin story well me and nicole know each other through social media that's how we quote unquote met is like we just we're admiring each other's um goofy shit on twitter and we became and i was just like hey do you want to be irl friends um because she's also like you know because a lot of times you admire somebody online like y'all for example and then you're like you're 25 i don't want to hang out with you stop there you're saying you wouldn't hang out with us we've been nothing but kind i might it was a little bit mean a minute ago yeah you did bring up my dad aggressively yeah

you know i'm 36 we're gonna have some limitations okay we have so many 36 year olds we have friends that are older than you dog this is not an issue i believe it but you guys have been friends with his friend's mom since he was six yeah that's always been my deal and look me and caleb would probably get along because that's how i was you know like i was that way too but can't have a little bit more if you don't have the mentality we probably can't be friends but with that being said i also just like to have women friends that are my age you know i don't have to explain that to you now do i caleb i hope not yeah you absolutely on my podcast yes you do yes you do have to explain that to me and so yeah so i was like

you know we're around the same age so i was like let's be friends in real life. And so, and then we just met and it was like a date. It was so fun. You know, you know, making friends is nice. Yeah. And so we, and then we hit it off and I was just like, oh, I would love to do a podcast with somebody who's not a standup comedian. We are insufferable human beings. And, uh, and then it worked out.

So here we are. We just want it. Cause I also like talking shit with her. You know, you guys have a good back and forth. Like when you find someone that knows how to talk shit and is as observant as you and who knows all bets are off and who knows when to, to seed space, take up space,

when to, when to triple down on something, when something's over talking shit with somebody who, who understands your talking shit, love language is an experience that it's, it's close to God. Yes. Thank you,

Caleb. Amen. Amen. So that's what we mean. And we consider your podcast to be church. Yeah. Your podcast is church. Thank you so much.

Thank you so much. It's me, Beyonce. I just want to say, Oh my God. SNL audition. SNL audition. Oh my God.

We got Beyonce on the pod. It's me, Beyonce. You know, we're going to keep some golden records up in here you know we have to we have to redo the intro we have to pretend that beyonce's on the pod yeah yeah we're so excited for our guest how can beyonce on the podcast would be insane yeah she'd be like yeah all my stuff let's just put that my shit yeah yeah yeah i would like to be there my stuff and wishing at this point almost everybody happy birthday it used to be exclusive but now she's really getting crazy with it yeah

she's getting a little loosey-goosey with them birthday wishes yeah i got one this year which was insane i thought yeah shout out to you that she posted that little baby picture you look exactly the same yeah i do yeah that's true oh what is just taking a pretty long drink oh sorry i thought well you know i thought other people could fill in the but but no it seemed like you were about to say something i looked at your hose she was like if i'm just admiring you drink that water i thought i thought you were about to say something and then you took the longest, quietest sip of water. Beyonce wished me a...

She's a bitch. He just went like, so anyway. Don't you ever for a second get the... I do the whole song. I take one drink and do the entire... You're irreplaceable. Shelby? Go ahead and get going.

No, you know what's, what is that heartbreaking song that she has? Which one? We built, it's Sandcastles. Sandcastles. We built sandcastles. That washed away? God damn, that makes me cry. Well, that was sort of, that whole whole album it is shocking they're still married

that whole album i was like leave him yeah marcella where do you stand on that oh i mean i feel like i mean these are two business people like i feel like they went into her making lemonade as like a business agreement like okay here's what's gonna happen if we're gonna stay together i'm gonna put you on blast and then we're gonna tie it up in a little bow at the end. And we're going to be like, no, but we're still together. And then when that is a hit, we'll sell a lot of tickets because people think we might be breaking up. And then you're going to go on tour with me and you're going to sometimes do some songs, but not really. You're just a filler husband, you know. And then after that, we're going to do an album together called Carters.

And we're going to show people that we are so happy and we just can make an album about whatever the fuck we want because fuck everybody and we're meant to be with each other i mean and that's where kanye went wrong with kim he they didn't make an album together well let me tell you i could go on and on about kanye and kim that's like that's my shit right there well i think that's a relationship that i really do think was a business agreement i disagree i don't think so i think he was obsessed with her i think that i think so too i think in a scary way yeah i i do too yeah i think he was obsessed with the concept of having like a hot bait like once jay bagged beyonce kanye's mind just went to shit he just was like looking for someone hotter someone cooler and it's like bro there isn't there that bitch does not exist rihanna maybe maybe maybe and it's an even thing yeah

i think we are between rihanna and beyonce it's like the cool and hot mix there rihanna and beyonce is mj to lebron it's you they play different positions you cannot you cannot you can't yeah they're giving different things yeah they're getting different things but she's also like she's not traditional you know like rihanna's not traditional so like she's also like, she's not traditional, you know, like Rihanna's not traditional. So like, she's not looking for that husband. She's not looking, you know, the way Beyonce was very Southern, is very Southern. And she was looking for that. She was looking for her partner. Rihanna is not looking for no partner.

She is her own partner. I do. Marcelo, I do like your, your take that, um, the, the whole lemonade fallout and Beyonce staying with Jay-Z. I like your take that that's a Bill and Hillary setup. I like that. It really is. I mean,

I mean, look, they, they got together because they both were business savvy. Like imagine Beyonce, who is such a hard, I mean, he rapped about it over the years,

like she's 23 and she focused on her work. Like, but I guess if I was 23, I'd be focused on my work. Like I love their admiration for how ruthless business people they are. Like they love each other because they're both that way. It's fucking fascinating. Yeah, I need that.

I need my business girl. I need my little business girl. I do. Are you talking about me? I need my little business girl. No, you're my, what we have is purely carnal. I need my little business girl. I need someone who's going to build an empire with me.

Yeah. I've said that to dudes. I've said that to dudes. I've said that to dudes. I'd be like, I'm looking for the Jay-Z to my Beyonce. Like if you ain't trying to do that, I don't really see the point in this conversation. And you're correct.

I got to stop saying stuff like that though on the podcast, because it really is getting to a point now where I think like, I'm constantly joking that I'm a gay so that I can have a career and that I want to have sex with my female friend. Like it's the point where now where people are going to think I'm pretending to be gay, but I am really so that I can have a career and that I want to have sex with my female friends. Like, it's the point right now where people are going to think I'm pretending to be gay, but I am really gay.

I mean, when you say it like that, they're going to think I'm pretending to be gay. Like, you can't really, there's no pretending. And you guys didn't see

what he did with his hand. That could be really good acting, Marcella. You didn't see what he did with his hand. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I was absolutely snapping in a formation

when I said that, which doesn't help. so far away from the mic. That's so funny so you can't hear it because he kept his hand away it was also really brave of marcella to do gay voice i thought that was a kind of a brave choice i mean i was a homophobic child so i were you really a hundred percent i was i was catholic i mean i am technically still catholic but i was super catholic i was like you know raised by like well i don't want to talk shit about my parents but you know i was homophobic i would say that i take ownership of that shit i was terrible i like apologized to this to well

you know now we're not really friends but he was uh you know a classmate of mine and i apologized to him when i was in high school and i have it in my yearbook he was like apology accepted you ruined my years of my elementary and junior year yeah what age did you flip the switch changed yeah why you know i don't know and i kind of wonder where it happened but it was slow i just remember getting into an argument my mom with my mom in like junior high about it because i was like oh what if i was gay then what then i wouldn't be allowed to get married like i don't know when it changed but i fucking went full throttle with that shit once it flipped and um yeah i don't know i kind of think like watching tv shows and shit like i think all that shit was helpful i also just was like i don't know these gay kids

are kind of cool this is fine you know they were you know because they and they were i mean back in the 90s you know there everybody was still super closeted you know so it was just tough to navigate for everybody but i think you have a good point that the they're they're a lot so a conversation that plays out a lot is is conservatives being like the gay liberal left is trying to brainwash our kids to be gay and then other liberals will be like no we're not and i'm always kind of like yes the fuck we are a little is mine i want everyone to be gay that is my purpose that is what i'm when i see a kid and i think about them being straight it makes me sick i want them to grow sometimes when you talk about it like this i realized that it worked on me and that sucks i hate to be i hate to be a pawn i hate to be a pawn

sometimes when you talk about it as your life's mission and that you're just looking at straights to turn gay yeah it sucks a little to see that it works try and have at least at least have threesomes with people of the same gender at least do that if nothing oh my god strong pro threesome stance on the pod i'm too lazy for it i can't me too i don't want to do it i'm just like if that's okay marcello do you know that for have you had threesomes and disliked no i've never i'm just like i'm exhausted just with a dick you know they're exhausting yeah absolutely yeah i don't think you should ever have to deal with that i'm sorry you've been through that there's so many logistics i mean i don't know how you do it without having

a sit-down meeting first just i just don't work out enough to try a threesome i just think you need a game plan and you need to understand what's happening you need to have the stamina the game plan it's a lot i want to dress rehearsal before i get into a threesome yeah i dress dinner rehearsal dinner bring the family around no i want to dress rehearsal i want us to walk through it literally i want a dry run i want a dry run where we're just kind of like all right and then you're gonna go here okay and then when you do that i'm gonna be over here kicking it kicking it what are you doing kicking it what are they doing while you're kicking it i'm kicking it damn that sounds horrible marcella we are so excited because we want to talk to you about your records what are

you going to put on these things oh my god where do we start this was actually really hard to come up with the list so i'll start light and easy. Okay. The Rihanna gift where she rolls up the car window. Yeah. Really sexy and cool. And we've already sort of, you know, intro'd this by talking about Rihanna and sort of all that she is.

Not all that she is, but we did talk about her a little. Yeah. I just love the attitude, the like organicness of it. Everything she does is organic. Are you guys like looking it up right now? Yeah. I got to have it in the organicness of it. Everything she does is organic. Are you guys looking it up right now? Yeah, I got to have it in front of you. Absolutely. And I also just like how many people have tried to copycat it since.

Because that is a widely used gif. And there's girls that have... Callie Uchis has tried to replicate, do one. She has a stern face. And then she starts laughing. Right when the window closes. It's like, bitch, no. Like it has to be organic.

And I just love that gift. It's my favorite gift. It's my favorite gift to use. It's perfect. You can use it for so many things. Yeah, it has so much meaning. It's like, don't talk to me. And also she makes this face that's

like she's embarrassed for you i'm disgusted by you like she like she like think about what you just did yeah like think about what you just did because i'ma be out yeah speaking of trying to replicate it there is nothing more embarrassing to me than something i think that, you know, gay culture and particularly like in the ball scene, like gay culture and black culture and Latino culture in the ballroom scene overlapped a lot because all the queer people were there and they were doing different things. But there's nothing more embarrassing than when like these kind of gifts were really popular and white gay men started trying to do everything that rihanna and like we're doing yes like every like facial expression every energy every like every single thing it was so weird to watch culturally they they wanted the like iconic energy that this kind of gift has and it just is not able to be replicated because she's not trying she's not trying she was and i i don't i couldn't find the clip what it's even from but like the paparazzo says something to her and she's like

what the fuck and then she rolls you know what i mean it's so beautiful how was the uh day party this is what the world don't know tell her you're done you have a good easter re-read hey you so nice well and the power to to have a driver to have like all of that is wrapped up in it too she's sitting in the back she has no responsibilities at all and she's like oh no she looks stunning below me she looks beautiful yeah she looks stunning she's somehow like professionally lit in the back of this car like she look like she is like lit like she her face is like the light is coming in exactly where it needs like it really is like high quality which is insane yeah yeah this is hot what would you what would you okay if the aliens got you sent this to space the aliens found it they found this

gift this gift gift and gift it is a gift it found this gift. This gift. Gift and gift. It is a gift. It's a gift and a gift. A gift and a gift. What would you want the aliens to know about Rihanna specifically? Like, what would you want them to know about her position on Earth? That she's perfect. That she's perfect.

That she's a perfect human being. She's a perfect specimen. She's a great example of what a perfect human being is she's a badass she's a businesswoman she's an artist all the things i love that she's a pioneer in the in in the underwear world in the makeup world makeup world in the makeup world rihanna really like the different shades of her makeup the different sizes of her models like fenty beauty is really like stunning yeah she has ruined victoria's secret god bless her they are i know they're scrambling now they're like okay we have trans models now we have we have models with tattoos we have tattoos we're doing it we've got it look at these

underwear i'm so stressed that's victoria's secret is shaking victoria's secret is absolutely shaking yeah yeah victoria cannot handle rihanna that's the secret i mean i love that's the secret i also just love it because she she's a little ahead of her time and it's beautiful and it's impactful and she is just perfect she's a perfect human being i also think like something fenty beauty is doing is they're doing all this right like it's representation of like different bodies and different colors and things like that but it a lot of other companies that are doing that that's the the the mission statement of the company and her mission statement of the company. And her mission statement is, I want women and like all people really,

not just women to like feel hot and be hot. Just feel sexy. And she's not like, she's not like, I want fat people. Like, she's like, I want all people who want to buy my shit.

It's not even a want. She's saying you are hot. You're hot. You are perfect. Like that's what I like about her. And here is a tool for's saying you are hot you're hot yes you are perfect like that's my like is a tool for that if you want it but like i have the sizes for you if you want it and feel yourself in it she's one of the few popular artists in in u.s uh fucking history who like when she got when she gained weight she was like yeah look at i gained it i'm sexy i'm gonna work with this and so many women in the past when they you know gained some

weight they fucking were so hard on themselves so terrible to themselves and she did not do that and it was so powerful for so many women to watch i don't want to send rihanna to space we need her here yeah we need her too bad we need her here but she is sort of this gif is sort of as as far as we can go but i do think they need to know sort of i want on the back like i want this to be on a flip card and on the back for it to be like here's the deal with rihanna like we got to talk to you a little bit about this yeah we're prepping them for her because she's gonna go in there and just own those fools exactly yeah yeah yeah marcella what is the next thing you put on your records a little bit about this girl. Yeah, we're prepping them for her because she's going to go in there and just own those fools. Exactly. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Marcella, what is the next thing you put on your records? Seinfeld. Okay, the man or the show? The show, not the man. You're like the man and all of his girlfriends. All of his underage girlfriends.

17, 38. They're beautiful at every age. Especially when you were born. That was my favorite show. That was my favorite show when I was a child. It continues to be something I will always watch when I'm like, what do I watch? I'll just put on Seinfeld. I don't care what episode, what season.

It's so wacky. I know episode it's I have it all memorized and so like even if I miss five minutes to go to the bathroom I know what's going on I love that show I mean this is maybe an annoying thing to to say about the show but I hadn't watched it when I was like when it was on I hadn't watched it for a really long time like when you were five you didn't watch it when you were five no yeah you should um i could have but i i didn't watch it like in college or high school like i never went back to it when people were like i love sign but i watched it like a couple years ago and i was like working on writing a lot and it like was one of those shows that was like oh this helps with writing structure like you understand writing structure writing uh watching Seinfeld like it's just a perfectly formulated sitcom which is kind of like the point of it but like it is like a writing exercise to

watch it yeah because it's perfectly formulated but it's brand new like what they did at that time was hadn't been done before everyone's sitcom breakdown was the same i mean i think i watched an interview where jerry was like nobody learns anything at the end that's what they wanted they didn't want there to be a fucking moral of the story it was like these people are pieces of shit and you should watch this no hugs no hugs no learning i think was the thing yeah yeah that's's exactly right. Yeah. And also, I wish that Seinfeld was such a big, obviously huge, massive fucking success. And the show was really just about personalities. It was about characters more than anything.

And it feels like now you talk to people who are trying to make stuff and it's almost impossible to get the people with money to go, yeah, we'll take a risk. We'll do something crazy that's really just about characters. Everybody wants you to be like this is the terminator meets sex in the city and here's why it'll sell and it's based on an article that went viral last year and it's like take a fucking chance like this is they took a huge chance on that show and it worked out you know what i mean yeah it was awesome and i remember because i got into when i was like 12 and there was still new episodes coming out. And I was like, this is so I didn't, I just felt that was I think

that was my first like, kind of grown up show that I got into that I didn't fully understand the humor. And what was cool about it as I got older, it like, I started to appreciate it in different ways. Like, okay, I got older. Okay, now I understand this whole dating bullshit. And then I started doing stand up. And I finally understood the stand-up side of it. And it was just like this show that for me, it kept growing and growing into something that was more special to me. And I mean, it's just so funny. It's just so silly. Also, when we were really small kids, we used to watch this movie, Transylvania 65,000.

And Michael Richards. It's this weird, goofy movie. Very slapsticky we would watch it as a family my whole family loved it and and and michael richards was in it and i just remember he was like on a little like a toy one of those little horsies that you go back and forth yeah yeah and it's just this hilarious scene and then i was like a little kid like i was 12 and i was like hey that's that guy from that movie that we loved and uh that shit just stayed with me i love seinfeld yeah can you remember any one like obviously you love the whole show but if you if the if the aliens were pressed for time and they

only could watch like one bit or scene or episode of seinfeld can you think of one thing that you're like they have to know this about the show oh my god that is a great question i mean i just maybe the um the episode where uh serenity now serenity now when um george is like trying like jerry starts tapping into his emotions he proposes to elaine and george is like holding in his temper. His dad is holding in their temper. Or Kramer. I don't remember.

But they fucking, it's chaos. And it's a perfect example of everyone's character and the story. And it's also nonsensical. That's why I like about the show. If you watch it, you're like, what the fuck is happening happening but it continues to build and build and build maybe that one yeah i also like that out of seinfeld we're giving them julia louis-dreyfus which i just really love her she's great she's it she is it she's everything everything she does is she just she's one of those people that you you see her you see her and you go i want to be your friend you know i was gonna say she is warm like

every interview i've ever seen of her every care like she plays care uh veep she's like an insufferable person and i'm still like oh i like her adventures of old christine was also very funny that was a great show she was so yeah she yeah, she's perfect. She was, she's the, um, the trust fund baby exception. She's actually good at what she does. Yeah. Money. I really do. Yeah.

It only helped. And you know what else would help this episode is if we went to a break right now to read some ads, kind of a genius segue, really? Oh man. Oh, welcome. Welcome. Bark. Woof, woof, woof, woof, woof, woof, woof, woof, genius segue really welcome bark yes oh my god

that is Marcella it goes on forever the rest of the 35 minutes. Why is it so good? It's actually kind of disconcerting. Do you do this in stand-up? No, I just do it in life.

I do it to a dog on any chance I get. It's so good. It's insane. And honestly, I feel comfortable saying this. Thank you so much. Thank you so much. None of our guests compare to what you just did in the Bark segment. I believe that.

I believe that. That's a blessing. I'm a blessing. That's a blessing. I'm a blessing. We want to ask you a quick question. Marcella, what is something so embarrassing? That you would delete it from the record of humanity.

Rubbernecking. Now, that is for our listeners. When you stupid assholes are driving in your cars and there's an accident or a fire or something happening and you hit the brakes to check it out and you slow down traffic and you create traffic. And if you do it during rush hour, I want to fucking drive my car into your brains.

I am so sick of you. Stop looking at people's trauma in real time. Just go on with the drive. It is so fucking annoying. Rubbernecking is pointless. You're a nosy bitch and you need to keep driving. Mind your fucking business. It's always crazy when you are in traffic

and you're like, man, what is going on? Like, what is happening? And then you pass it and then you are in traffic and you're like, man, what is going on? Like, what is happening? And then you pass it and then the traffic goes away and you're like, really? Yes, it's nothing. It's nosy neighbors. It's so fucking annoying. This is not reality television, y'all.

Just keep it moving. It also is kind of a, here's what I'll say about it. Well, here we go. He does it. What, what, Caleb? Hold on one minute. This is what I will say. If it, this is what, okay, I it this is what okay i'll start with what

okay look when you get up there when you get up there and you see that what's been holding people up is something boring and stupid like just a fender bender it's like you guys are fucking children i agree with you they should have moved on i will say this if it's something fascinating like a really big fire then yeah i gotta slow down and look and see what's say this if it's something fascinating like a really big fire then yeah i gotta slow down and look and see what's going on if it's something big i gotta know what it is you could just keep driving and look i'm leaving i'm logging off of this podcast i'm out of here i hate you caleb that would be so funny i dare you to commit i dare you to commit in the episode right here i dare you please don't don't make your producer gave me the no sign.

So I'm going to respect him. It would be. You shouldn't. And I'm glad you're not because we have more to talk about. But we all have to admit the funniest fucking thing imaginable would be if we put this episode out and it ended right there. And we had to put a note that said Marcelo refused to go on with the podcast. I mean, the fact that you're defending rubbernecking is the most obnoxious shit but

again you're 25 years old this is a difference you see what i'm saying caleb you see why that matters listen i'm not defending it what i'm saying is listen he says listen i'm 26 now first of all i would never say that it's true you just did if people want to think i'm 25 that's fine look the fact of the matter is there are levels to what you're describing, I think. And if you slow down a little bit to look at something stupid, you suck. But if you slow down a little bit to look at something really, really interesting, maybe you're not so bad. Well, but Caleb, you do think they're that bad when you're in the traffic. Oh, yeah.

You have really bad road rage. Oh, when I'm in traffic, I'm Marcella. I'm like, you fucking morons. Get the fuck. But when I think about it, really, I'm like, I probably do that a little bit.

You know what I mean? Oh, my God. You see, that's why you can't have the road rage if you're doing that shit. See, you can't have it. I'm living proof that you can. Wow.

No, we're saying that you're wrong. I'm living proof that you can do it all. You can be absolutely infuriated with other people and then do the exact same things they do that make you mad you're a fucking you're america bro i'm a living example brother i can do whatever i want to be he is an american usa usa usa usa release your vax card we don't believe you anymore i don't believe him at all my god

that'd be so funny now we're like you're telling people to get vaccinated you're not vaccinated people should be getting vaccinated but that's not important right now what's really important to me and my heart what's next on the record i choose mariah carey's butterfly album thank you for saying that the best album it was her like literal breakthrough album because she was did you guys read the memoir? Did you read her memoir? I don't know how, I don't know if you guys are big Mariah Carey fans. I grew up on her. We have discussed a little bit of Mariah Carey on the pod and just the way

that she throws shade is something really, truly untouchable. And our friend, our friend Alex is going to love this segment cause she's a huge Mariah stan. Uh, but what is the memoir? She wrote,

did she write the memoir? Well, she had someone help her write the memoir, but but it's it gets real it's super intense it's kind of hard to read at the beginning because you read about her childhood and you're like holy shit and also after reading the memoir especially like all the tom and mottola shit and uh and all the you know the dating and all the everything that happened during her childhood when you go back to listen to the butterfly album it's just so much more intense you're just like oh fuck this explains so much and i can't believe she was dealing with this that and the other and so like the album itself is solid it's perfect it's beautiful and then when you read the memoir

you're just like holy shit this is something else yeah and i saw her live and she's perfect doesn't dance doesn't dance love that for her her really when you talk about like there are a lot of girls who have vocals there are a lot of girls who have attitude there are a lot of girls who have style there may not be somebody more than mariah carey who exemplifies in pop the truly like full package effect yeah she has it all she's she's shady she's iconic she can sing but her voice is her whistle tone is fucking psych oh my god you did it so that was did i do on stage where i'm like i'm right here in the studio and i just do that for like 10 minutes no wait you do scales you do scales you

go from all the way down and up yeah that's what i do it's really fun um no she's got law she does she's the best and she's an incredible writer she she's the most proud of being a songwriter which is what i love about her she's like no i'm i'm proudest of being a songwriter and she encourages all the women she interacts with to write their own music. At least contribute to writing. Because that's where the money is. And yeah, she's the best. She also has that iconic diss.

I think she's talking about Jennifer Lopez. I don't know her. I don't know her. That too. But there's also a part of that beef where she's like, where Jennifer, when they're like, Jennifer, one of the interviewers is like, Does all the attention Jennifer Lopez gets, that bother is there is there rivalries

by the way in this business there are rivalries but i don't think she has anything to do with me i mean my whole thing is singing writing songs singing is is first and foremost it's a god-given talent that i'm grateful for her thing is something different it is so fucking iconic this drag dude the book she goes in she goes in on she never mentions her name but she talks about her quite often and it's fucking beautiful it's awesome does she talk about eminem in the book you know what i don't remember i think you know she does the shady thing where she's like you know people lie about you and they want to hook up or whatever um she i'm telling you that wasn't even the juicy part she was just like that j-lo shit was in terms of gossiping about other

celebrities that was the one it was so good we can't keep talking about this on the pod but because we do a lot the mariah carey eminem beef and specifically diss tracks on both ends is one of sort of the most it brings us so much joy yeah and from that mariah carey diss track obsessed my favorite little like section of lines in almost any song is uh when mariah carey says i just think that's so fucking like I listen to that and I'm just like go oh like I just love that it feels like such a good insult because it's normal insults are so boring normal insults like you're fat you're ugly you're stupid your mom's trash whatever this is like you're you're a mom and pop I'm a corporation it's like it's just so like it stings you know yeah that's yeah

I mean you're getting LLCcs involved it's like damn she's talking about s-corps yeah i love that i love that yeah she did it she did that the other thing i love about that album you know mariah because she's a songwriter she loves to fucking play with words she's she loves a long words. She loves the syllable word. And I learned a lot of words from that album. Like nonchalant, that's like, I had to like look it up in the dictionary when I was a kid. Like, what does that

mean? And that's why I loved Maria. It's like I learned words because of her. It was awesome. She's awesome. Is there a song from this album that you would like, you would want to highlight for the aliens i think the ruth is a great um also first of all just a great song as it is and i think it's the one that samples mom deep i can't remember but um she it's it's such a perfectly written it's like such an r&b ballad

but it's like fun it's hip- hop. It's perfectly her. And when you read the memoir too, you're just like, oh shit, because it's about Derek Jeter. And you're just like, this is so weird to now listen to this album knowing that she was trying to fuck Derek Jeter. She was just like obsessed with him.

Exactly. Damn. exactly damn yeah the beginning of that when that beat first comes comes in, is like, ooh, it feels so good. It feels so right. It feels so good. And it kind of builds, but it just lands in a perfect spot. You're kind of like, where is this going? And it's like, mm. Also, this isn't important, but I wanted to say, in terms of teaching people words with their music,

Mariah Carey, unfortunately, does have to come in second place to T.I. Who's number one? T.I. T.I. is famous for being like, he'll constantly just be like, you know, extra califragilisticexpialidocious. He'll say the most crazy words in his shit.

It's insane. What about that one song? I forget whose song it is. And it's like the only way a lot of us even know how to spell independent. I-N-D-E-P-E-N-D-E-N-T. Do you know what that means? Wow.

Also, T.I. has the longevity of always doing too much with words, but I would say maybe one of the most important word teaching moments in all of music history is this kiss by Faith Hill when she says centrifugal motion yeah that shit's crazy who else could do that and she delivers it so beautifully too centrifugal motion yeah it's hot um i love mariah carey i think this is a great addition do you um is there any particular circumstance marcella that you want the aliens to get the butterfly album under like do they need to be in a certain setting to experience this do they need to be in a mindset going

through a breakup yeah i think we need to be a little high love it a little not just blazed out of their fucking minds okay right just a little just yeah that's a little faded and they got to be with their favorite whoever not necessarily going through a heartbreak but definitely with the homies that would understand what it feels like to be heartbroken yeah i love that can they and i hope they start crying a little bit i will say that they will they will you never know any the thing about that album is you never know which song it's going to be. You never know. You don't know where it's going to come.

Do you want, you do, and I assume this, I mean, she did them in order for a reason, but you want them to listen to it in order. Of course. Have to.

Yeah. She, you know, she's, she's a true artist. She, she knows how to, you know, set,

set the album, the tone and the pacing. And so, yeah, it's great. And there's a prince cover on there oh it's a perfect album prince i love prince um what is next on your record a hug from a toddler who thinks you're the coolest person on the planet damn that's toddlers are perfect they are they're

the perfect human they're just they're not a baby anymore but they're not a thinking person you know like yeah they have they have enough going on where you can sort of talk to like going on babies are going on yeah they do they do they have their programs they got their programs yeah they got their shows they got their they got so they have so much lived they just they know what's going on up there in that imagination their imaginations are more powerful than ours this is the second episode in a row where we have claimed that toddlers have a lot of lived experience and that is the direct opposite of the truth but i love it for us i love that i think that toddlers have lived experience in past lives maybe well they remember they're starting to remember shit so they can like you know make they can associate and remember and like navigate experiences oh god it's beautiful i mean

there's always all those stories about like when kids are young they really do feel like they know stuff like you ever read like spooky stories kids have like spooky things kids have said to their parents that are like she's in the room with us and you're like what and they like are too close to the other realm do you know what i'm saying yeah yeah i mean kids have ghostly vibes for sure and i love that marcella who is the who is the toddler in your life uh that most recently did this well i have eight nieces and nephews yeah okay i am okay yeah so the oldest right now is 17 the youngest is like i want to say seven so they've they've now grown out of that and i'm definitely missing like what i used to do and it's from my nephew who's 17 what i used to do my mom has this long hallway

so so i would be at the end of the hallway when that was my room and i would just whenever they would come up in the house i would like just stand at the end like on like on my knees and with my hands wide open and they all knew to just run into my arms and then we would just have a nice sweet hug and it was the best and I did it with all eight of them but now they're all like too they're too big for that like yeah they'll hug me but they don't do the running down the hall excited to see their dia I mean they're still excited to see me but it's just not the same when they're like three four even five they're just they're little oh my god it's so sweet and it's just there's there's nothing like it it's a sweet hug they just think

they're fucking cool as fuck because they're like you're an adult but because i'm silly with the kids so they're like you're an adult but you're kind of silly like a kid and they kind of can't figure out what the fuck I even am. And Beth Stelling had that really good joke where she was babysitting a kid. And they were like, are you a kid? Because you're not a mom or some shit like that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know, they have that perspective.

Like, they just kind of can't fit you anywhere. But they just know you're cool. And if you don't have kids, you know, they're just like, you know, you got extra money. So you dress a little funky. And they're just like you know you got a little extra money so you dress a little funky and they're just like what i don't know adults dress like this like they're just yeah toddlers are the best do you ever have any toddlers that are like they're like a niece or a nephew or like a friend's kid or someone you hit it off one time like they were obsessed with you then you don't see them for a while the next time you see them you're so excited and they're like a little shy and you're like oh that is one of the coldest burns i mean it comes with the territory i mean yeah they have lived experiences but they don't have the memory

you know i but when they like hide behind about when you're like hot they hide behind the thigh and they hide behind you're like yeah you're like you liked me yeah you liked me last time i mean i'm usually fine with that because i'm like, okay, you got to build that trust again. And it's fine. It's just usually faster because now you also know what they like, you know? Marcella, do your little people in your life still think you're cool? Be honest.

Hell yeah. Even the 17 year old. Hell yeah. I love that. Even the 17 year old still thinks I'm cool because bitch, I am cool, bitch. Exactly correct. Exactly correct. But kids sometimes don't know. Like I sometimes feel, I sometimes feel like, look, my, my little cousins do not know

that I'm cool. They don't know about my life. They don't, when I try to tell them about my life, they're like in their tablets. They do not know. Yeah. I am cool. And they're missing out. I definitely think the 13 and the 12 year old are in that space where they just, they're just kind of being antisocial. So I'm like, ah, that's all. But'm used to it so i'm just like oh i'll give it a couple years they'll be we'll be home you'll come back soon yeah that's what always happens you'll be back yeah that's what's always nice about having eight of them in varying ages um but like my sister's daughter um she's i want to say eight and she like she likes to match with me and i'm like oh this is so fun we get all matchy matchy i buy little accessories that we both wear and that shit's my favorite too so like yeah i'm not getting

the that that running hug and embrace but there's other things to enjoy as they get older yeah i love that i think i also wonder like you know i feel like human touch is is such a huge part of the human experience like touching hugging people you love and getting hugs from people you love. And I just wonder like if aliens do exist, like will they fuck with that at all? Like, will they hate it? You know what I mean?

What would be able to touch them? Will they like it? Like, I don't know what that's like. Do they turn to dust when we do? That's a great question. Yeah. You got to wonder why do they share intimacy?

You know, I think they would. I like to think so. Cause it's so big for us and I want them to be able to get this hug that you're trying to send what if they only make out when they greet each other like then they wouldn't be able to hang out with the kids anymore we'd have to stop letting them hang out with the kids so true yeah big curtains on hanging out with the kids but for the adults maybe if you're into it if they're hot i don't know what they're gonna look like yeah it would suck if they were ugly but like who knows i don't know i would do it even if they were ugly

i was gonna say if they're ugly that means they're they're better at kissing right do you think this is the question not necessarily because they aren't ugly to each other they don't have practice like they haven't had to to work up the reason that uglier people are good kissers is because they're sort of making up for something the aliens if they have great point as a species is it bestiality to fuck an alien oh i hope so now what do you tell me what you mean by that um speak on that a little bit if you don't mind we talk so much about could we fuck the aliens what would they look like well we want to fuck the aliens and i'm thinking we don't fuck the things we've got going on around here. You don't. I want to keep it that way. And so speak for you.

Okay. I don't fuck other species as is. And that's for you. And that's fine if it works for you. And so they are another species. And we're just, is it, when they come, will it be fucked up to fuck them? Shelby. Marcella giving an exasperated Shelby is honestly like, that's the point of the pod, baby.

That's keeping records. Keeping records is exhausting, saying Shelby's name. Marcella, what's wrong? You tell me, bitch wrong you tell me bitch you tell me that is so funny i even okay if they were into it and it was cool okay even if they were like disgusting like slimy gross creatures and one of them wanted to fuck me i would fuck it just so i could tell people like i fucked 100 percent like y'all have never y'all could never, y'all do not. Okay. Only fuck humans. That's a yes and man right there.

Thank you. Exactly. I feel like it would be okay if they, I don't know. I don't know. Go ahead. What do you speak your mind, girl?

Well, I'm like, I can't. Because every time I start to think I found a solution, I have found another reason why it doesn't work do you have a type when you go prowling do you have a type come on come on marcella i love this this is what's your type girl yeah everybody's what do you what where does this slot in just say my type in my type in men is um it's like either skinny skate skater stoners or like

seth cohen jewish boys a very specific type well for men because most other kinds um do scare me and then that's not true actually what men are scaryikes. What? Men are scary, ultimately. Am I wrong? I mean, I'm 6'2". I'm not scared of those motherfuckers. Exactly. I am. Oh, that's what you don't understand.

I am five foot. Yeah. No, I mean, I get it. That's why you're saying you like the skinny, because you got that ass. So they're just like, oh, I'm skinny, and you got that ass. So this works. Thank you, Marcella, for being pro-men on the pod, though. For real.

That was nice of you. I love a dick. Thank you. Everybody with a dick, For real. That was nice of you. I love a dick. Thank you. Everybody with a dick. I love, that's good for me too. Show it. I'm feeling very on an Island right now,

but, um, my type in women is literally anyone that sort of intimidates me. Oh, okay. Yeah. I see that for you, Marcella.

What's your type? Be honest. I don't have one. Marcella, stop. You are so going to jail. You forced me into a type. This is crazy. I didn't force you. Marcella, what's your type? Be honest. I don't have one. Marcella, stop. You are so going to jail, dude. You forced me into a type. This is crazy.

Well, because I didn't force you into a type. I asked you if you had a type. You could have said no, bitch. You went skinny skater boy after wondering. Now I understand why you're uncertain about the aliens. Because if you have such a specific type when it comes to men, you're going to see an alien and be like, no, he's not my type. And it's like, bitch, he's an alien.

I fuck all kinds of people. I'm not even specific to gender you might that's true so but that who knows if they're boy or girl aliens marcella do you think aliens have gender i don't i don't think they got gender that's an incredible point i think they got their own holes and their own labels and they just get go to town whenever they can i think you saying that you don't have a type is one of the the most upsetting things that's ever happened to me because i don't believe you i think you have a type i mean i look i love to fuck a black guy but that that's not necessarily my type you know like i've fucked everything short tall fat skinny muscular dude there's not even an energy component there's not even like a personality

trait that you like yeah skinny skater is more about the energy of a skinny skater you don't have to skate to be in that type not really i don't i don't have it i'm just like i mean you know as long as they're not scared of me and they find me funny there we go they find you funny that's big they find me funny then then we will be fine but even then i've hooked up with dudes that aren't they don't find me funny because i'm just like well i'm just trying to hook up and you're hot so that's fine have you hooked up with fans from shows i don't think so have i i don't think i have i wish i i wish but they are petrified after i kill it on stage and i'm like this i'm just being hella mean on stage these monsters like their dicks get smaller it's not fun they don't like it okay well i love that for you fuck them you don't you don't need them

you don't want them now that i've been attacked on the pod i'd like to ask what's next on the record so funny to claim you were attacked shelby so funny to claim it was an attack well i was on an island for a little yeah were you or did you put yourself there okay you put me there did i or didn't okay um and my last pick is press-ons press-ons tell us about nails i love a press-on nail i didn't back in the day because they had they used to be like really poor quality and you know now to get the acrylics a pandemic happened and i was not going to the nail salon. And I just was like, well, fuck it.

Let me just start putting on press-ons. And they are incredible. The change, the elevation of quality, the glue is perfect. You can have them on for a week. They're all cute and beautiful. These are the ones I have on right now. This one fell off and I replaced it with a different one. Those are cute.

An accent nail. Yeah, on on accident an accent accident now and um and i'm loving them they're so fun and it's also just like nice to like take a break and give my nails um some breath and i think that the aliens would fucking rock a damn press on like a motherfucker you're rocking the fuck out of them i know that the aliens would too they should there's so many fun things to do with a press on yeah like hold a dick like hold a day the dick is a big one like hold a dick hold a hot dog hold a banana end of list end of popsicle hold a dick end of list hold a dick end of list i yell at someone bitch yeah or that thing that thing that uh oh yeah dolly parton where she played that yeah hold on we can all do it asmr looks like she's jerking off yeah it did look pretty brutal just like

it looks so pretty brutal over there and in caleb. Wait, can I get a video of that? It's so bad. The audience will never know how gross it was. It really was so gross, the focus of it all. Oh, no, I'm posting this one. That's perfect. Okay, here's a scenario for you, Marcella. We send press-ons to the aliens.

They start wearing press-ons. They decide they love fashion. They start buying Telfar bags. They start dressing like absolute instagram baddies they start getting hot they're getting they're getting bbls they're getting lips faceless they start stealing our men now all of a sudden no one who likes men on earth can get fucked why what do you do would you feel responsible for that yeah are you scared that's sad i'm you devastated me i thought the scenario was going somewhere else i was like okay now what okay and then you said that and i was like oh what did i do i'm not scared on the pod to bring up some of the unfortunate realities of

the premise wow i mean i'm sorry everyone i did not know we were gonna have dick taken away from us my bad yeah it's a dick it's a dick and you know how nice it is to hold a dick with a press I mean, I'm sorry, everyone. I did not know we were going to have Dick taken away from us. My bad. Yeah, it's a Dick. It's a Dick's. And you know how nice it is to hold a Dick with a press. It's so nice. It's my favorite. Oh, it's my favorite. It's my favorite hands.

Oh, guys, if you have a great Dick and you're and you think Marcella is funny, you have to hit her up. She will absolutely love it. Only in a cool way. Don't be weird. I mean, mean i you know what i do love an unsolicited dick pic unlike other broads i love them i just i once was in a car driving and i got one and i was like i was like oh yeah this is worth pulling over i like immediately do you like it do you like it in like in a hot way or do you think they're just like funny both both everybody's in marcella people are usually too scared of me to do it but because they're like she'll put us on blast and i'm like well it depends on that how it looks oh my god i love it are you kidding me we can't be encouraging dick pics but

i think i never be if people sent me a dick pic i'd be into it debbie downey over here just fucking on the island just yuck i don't think i don't want more of them so if we're gonna go on air saying send more of them i don't want them coming my way do you get some do you ever get some in dms yeah oh my god i never this never happens to me well you're not a woman they don't they send them to women because doesn't happen to me i do oh well that's why you like it it's not fun when you get them no i mean sometimes i i will say i don't get them to the point that some of my white peers are getting them i don't know what it is they get i i don't know but then when i get them i'm like oh this is funny this is fun do you do you guys know anyone who has gotten a dick pic unsolicited

on the internet and then fucked that person like is that happening i don't think so like what are guys thinking i don't know there's that really fun did you see that really funny um cartoon where a guy is like oh what do i do how do i impress her what can i do and then next it's just him holding his dick trying to take a picture it's so aggressive made me laugh i get dick pics on grinder of course everyone gets dick pics on grinder that's not special i want to get dick pics on instagram and twitter that's when i feel like i would feel desired by strange by strange men you don't have to even be so upset shelby hates dick pics well nobody that sends them is normal that's not true you guys are in a you guys are

in a dick uh we're in a dick feud yeah no one that sends them is normal i think that might be true that might be true it is true that's unsolicited unsolicited yes cool people are sending to strangers do you mean unsolicited to complete strangers yes i do agree with that that's aggressive yeah unsolicited dick picks nobody cool is sending them is what i meant yeah but that doesn't mean that it's not worth looking at yeah i mean sometimes they do that because they're just like yeah but it's huge it's like and and then like, they're right. So you like it from a scientific perspective. Yeah.

Scientifically, she wants to have sex with the big dick. That's the science of it. Yeah. I get it. I get it. I will say if someone hot, if someone hot sent me a dick pic, I would be, I would hook up with them. I would not unsolicited from a stranger.

You are never going to see their face. Gay men are, you guys are on a whole other level. Y'all are just. dick pic i would be i would hook up with them i would not unsolicited from a stranger you are never gonna see their face gay men are you guys are on a whole other level and they also are not showing you their face well i would be like do you want to do something about this or was it just for me to see it and if they're like i want to do something about it i'd be like show me your face and if they were like because that happens a lot on gay apps where guys will send you their dick and then i'll be like send me your face and they'll be like no and i'll be like then fuck off i'm not gonna have sex with someone whose face i haven't seen are you insane yeah they come in a mask not just like the face mask full face you think a baklava balaclava what's

funny to call it a baklava a dessert they come with a dessert look we have to wrap up now marcella tell people about your shows and where they can find you please my friend i friend. I will be at the Bell House July 31st in New York. Please come. We're going to have an after party. It's going to be so fun. And I'm headlining, bitch. Come through. My new material is fucking cracking right now.

And I'm on the scroll down here at HeadGum with Nicole Thurman. And otherwise, I have other dates coming out. So you can follow me at Marcella Comedy. And that's all my socials. So thanks, y'all. At first, I thought you meant I have other dates coming out so you can follow me on at marcella comedy and that's all my socials so thanks y'all at first i thought you meant i have other dates like like with met like i'm going on dates i'm going on dates i don't i'm struggling right now it's bad right now so yeah it's like that send her the dick pics and you guys have to go check out this girl down it's a head gun podcast with nicole thurman and it's so so funny just like marce Thurman. And it's so, so funny. Just like Marcella said, go listen to it.

If you like this, you'll like that. Marcella, thanks for being on, dude. Thanks for having me. Sorry, Shelby and I have a dick feud, but it is what it is sometimes. It is what it is. Sometimes it be that way. It be that way. Honestly, dicks put wedges in friendships sometimes.

Yep. In butts and in friendships. Exactly that. In butts and in friendships. Exactly that. In butts and friendships. That was a HitGum Original.