Keeping Records - Flirting With Friends (with Meg Stalter)

Episode Date: May 14, 2021

What begins as a meeting with beloved friend and comedian Meg Stalter immediately devolves into an episode of depravity and psychosis. Shelby leaves the recording, seemingly out of rage. Caleb exposes himself repeatedly. Meg says the c-word. Producer Mike becomes Producer Michael. Quite simply, it's insanity. But, aside from all that madness, Meg's Golden Record is angelic in its innocence. Meg's Golden Record: Girls, Season 3, Episode 7 "Beach House" (audio-visual) Knowledge of Dolly Parton's Existence (audio-visual) Laughing hysterically at a restaurant with friends (multisensory experience) The smell of poolside sunscreen and chlorine (multisensory experience)  Realizing you have a crush on someone (multisensory experience) Follow Meg! Twitter Instagram Follow the show @keepingrecordspod Advertise on Keeping Records via Gumball.fm See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This is a HeadGum Original. In 1977, NASA sent two solid gold records into space so that aliens might find them and understand life on Earth. I send greetings on behalf of the people of our planet and friendly wishes to all who may encounter this voyager. Now, we're making new records with our friends. Bonjour tout le monde. Konnichiwa.

Assalamu alaikum. We step out of our solar system into the universe seeking only peace and friendship. We know full well that our planet and all its inhabitants are but a small part of this immense universe that surrounds us. Hello from the children of planet Earth. Well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well well well well well well well well well well hey shelb hey caleb what the hell is up you freak oh you know you freaking nature what the hell is up dog oh you know just living living out my best years in a pandemic.

How are you doing? Well, I actually have it so much worse than you for a couple of reasons. The first one is that I can't get that song out of my head that's like, Hey, look, Ma, I made it. It's been stuck in my head. That's horrible. Michael, clean that up. Make that sound really good.

Does it help that I can't stop singing, Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no. No Make that sound really good. Does it help that I can't stop singing? Oh no. Oh no. Oh no. No, that makes it worse. And also the worst thing is I decided a couple of days ago to start intermittent fasting, which a lot of people are coming for me on the web. They're saying it's an eating disorder. I'll be the judge of that. But I ordered food and it didn't get here until like two minutes before the pod so i have not eaten yet today and i'm really excited about what i ordered so what did you order tell the people i ordered from zhang la hui i don't know if i said that correctly it's a sichuan restaurant in alhambra

free clout for the for the girlies i got spicy wontons and uh green beans is that the place we've gone to before it absolutely is the eggplant and you got the And you got the spicy eggplant, yes. Yeah, we like that place a lot. Hey, if they're listening, if you guys are the owners of the restaurant and you're listening, you're doing a really good job over there. Free clap for the girlies. I'm always saying that about this restaurant. Caleb, are you excited about who we have on today or no? Be honest.

I'm practically hard. I'm practically erect in my little pants. Let's just get her in here everybody you know her from twitter and instagram and hbo's hacks hbo max's hacks the show hbo max's hacks the show the iconic show maybe you've heard of it it's gonna it's really fucking iconic please welcome today's guest meg stalter, I just got stage fright. I don't talk to her all the time. That's so you.

That's so you. I'm being a little shy today, guys. I didn't know you'd be saying so many sexual things about me before I come on. Meg leaves the chat. Oh, Meg just took her top off. Meg just took her top off. Meg's naked. Meg's recording naked.

Meg's naked. You know what I love right now? A lot of times when you do podcasts over Zooms, the person who's recording you usually isn't on video and you

have left the producer on video. And don't remove your video. I love it because there's an audience laughing. We want Mike on

Mr. Headgum host. What's funny is that now Mike's not allowed to leave. Use this as the promo clip. Use this as the promo clip. Use this as the promo clip. Oh, pull your clothes back on, Caleb.

Everyone show a little nipple. It'll be fun for the episode. You know what's really fucked up? Meg and I can't do that. Y'all can show a little nipple. Yes, you can. We'll blur it out in post. You guys, come on.

Everybody show a little nipple. Meg, how are you? Can you imagine if I was actually uncomfortable and I was like, yeah, so I guess I'm doing good. Caleb, can you stop? No, I love it. I love nudity. Meg's like, does HeadGum have an intimacy coordinator? I wasn't expecting this.

Yeah, I really am like cut off guard. No, I once asked when we had Jake and Amira on, I asked for HR and they said, you should have an HR because you guys have said so many sexual things that I feel like me. I'm cool. I'm absolutely cool with it. But for somebody else, I might be nervous. Well, I guess because we're so comfortable with you. Yeah, I know. We really are like sisters.

All three, four of us. I'm including the. This is the band. I'm this is the band. I'm wait. This is the band Haim Wait this is the band Haim You know how long it took me to say Haim Instead of Haim Is it Haim?

And I'm still not sure if it's right And I'm still not sure if it's right It's a hard name to say And I'm still not sure if it's right Oh my god that was like the best singing I've ever done It's a hard name to say. And I'm still not sure if it's right. Michael claimed that one. Oh, my God. That was like the best singing I've ever done. Yeah.

That was like really good. Hey, everybody. That was the band Haim with their new single. I'm still not sure if it's right. Still not sure if it's right. Up next is Toxic by Britney Spears. What if I was like, so anyway, my first thing that I chose on the record. No, I'm kidding. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We're like still griffing off. And you're like, anyway, so thing that i chose on the record no i'm kidding

we're like we're still riffing off and you're like anyway so i guess i came here for a point i thought i came here for a purpose so i'm like very serious i'm not funny at all i just go well the first thing i'd say was i put the encyclopedia on there because i want them to know how we learn actually that would be a good thing to choose i I'm sick of small talk. Tell me about your fears. Meg, what are you scared of? You know what? The pandemic has actually made me way worse at small talk. Literally, I was hanging out with someone yesterday,

totally outside, and we're both vaccinated. I started telling them very deep stuff. Really scary stuff. I'm like, I cannot do small talk anymore. I got to talk about my trauma. Well, Meg, we hung out with you recently. And every time.

We were at a party with you recently and you were cool. Yeah. Well, yeah. But Meg's small talk go-to now is just to say. Tell them, tell them, tell them. She just says, and I heard her say this to many people. In LA, there's not as many bugs in apartments. Oh my God. That's like my biggest

topic. But I would say that that's a deep fear of mine, even though it seems like casual small talk. I feel like that's a deep. Yeah. But it was so funny to leave you for a little and then return back to you to have you still being like, well, in New York, there'll be big bucks. And in LA. And nobody talks about it. I mean, New York, there's literally in every apartment, doesn't matter what you're paying. You could be sitting in the Empire State Building, honey. You have roaches. You literally do. I have to be okay. I have to be okay with roaches. I date men.

Oh, honey, tell me about it. I can't get no respect. Caleb's gonna hate that I bring this up because I can't stop bringing it up. I can't stop bringing this up, Yeah. I can't stop bringing this up, but Ira Glass. Oh my God.

Ira, Ira, if you're listening, Ira, if you're listening, Ira, Ira Glass has an apartment in New York. No.

First of all, Ira, I don't believe you. I didn't know. No. Ira Glass has an apartment in New York and the, the like residents of his building like filed a complaint because he had too many cockroaches, bedbugs, and rats. And he wasn't taking care of them.

He didn't want to get rid of them. And at this point, I have to say, I thought Ira Glass was a woman. No. No, babe. Ira Glass, the taste video. Can we please cut this out? Who's Ira Glass? The problem is that when you're starting out, you know what's good but you can't place it you guys have got to forgive me and tell me who

ira glass is now i'm like i think you're the wrong person he's an mpr you won't believe who i thought ira glass was i thought it was a fashion older woman like who's in fashion you think anna wintour you're thinking of anna wintour yeah yeah yeah ira glass but isn't that crazy ira glass is comfortable with with rats and bugs crawling around his home so much so that others had to be like we want to intervene literally he loved it have y'all ever had sex with someone whose mattress is on the floor yeah well there was a long time where I was only fucking straight men. Same. You know what? So, yeah, I do know.

One night I tried to spice it up by putting my mattress on the floor, even though I have a bed frame. I'm not kidding. One night? You did all that work for one night? Wait, let me just tell you. Let me walk you through it. I literally had somebody come over. There we go. Safely, of course.

And I go, we use a condomom we don't even know when this was in my head it was five years ago i'm not gonna tell you when it was until you he's still here uh and so no he's not and i put my mattress on the floor because i thought this would be so cute he comes over for movie night my mattress on the floor pillows everywhere that's kind of like like cool vibe it was everywhere my clothes are strewn about i'm bleeding i go not clean my room no there was it was kind of like there's someone in the bathtub movie night movie night my mattress on the floor but here's the thing you guys i left my mattress on the floor for six days after and on the sixth night it got scary like i actually was like it's time to move the bed back and it was like 4 a.m and i was moving my mattress back now i have a question why aren't parents putting kids beds on the floor if they're scared of monsters under the bed wouldn't that be

the solution to to face them face to face with the monster the monster can't be under the bed if there's no that's really smart kids are fucking stupid they would make up something else to be scared of i'm sorry but kids have like no they have they have no idea how the world works kids have no idea what goes on in the world i'm sick of people giving respect shelby froze sorry isn't anyone worried about it isn't it worried about it meg meg meg while she's gone she's totally frozen are you in are you into me wait first of all you know that i am the other day i was saying aren't we a cute couple aren't we a cute couple and you're like yeah and then i was like you're literally rejecting me because you didn't get as excited about it

the idea oh my god it's the caleb and meg podcast now meg if we had if we had a podcast just the two of us what would it be about wait what wait what i think sex bugs and everything in between sex bugs and everything in between sex bugs and everything in between it's called cockroaches emphasis on the cock and also i will say that sleeping on with your mattress on the floor is scary like and it's it's not it's not scary until it is it's like it was fun and free and then all of a sudden it got spooky that i was on the floor like if a burglar came in he'd have easy access dragging my body out out instead of like picking me off the bed and you know what I mean I can't stress enough to the listeners that Shelby fully left the recording and is not like she left the zoom she's no longer

here do you think it's something I said yes I do think that when you started to talk about uh pretending to have kids I think when you did the having kids bit literally I started pretending to have kids I was like guys, guys, go to your room and chill. She was like, oh, I'm out. This bitch has kids. This bitch is a mother. I got to leave. Yeah, I have to go.

I would have sex with a lot of people. It's time to name who we'd have sex with. Name who in our friend group you would have sex with. Yeah, yeah. Live, full names last first and last i will say i've been flirting with my friends now that i'm out of the pandemic i feel like everyone's so flirty i'm starting to fall in love with my close friends absolutely yeah no i did feel like we were pretty close to kissing the other night when we were together i would literally i was thinking should we play Spin the Bottle? And then I was like, uh, Megan? Maybe we're not ready

for that game yet. Megan's at a fully adult backyard party in LA being like, who wants to play Seven Minutes in Heaven? I'm like, you know, we can't be inside of a house,

but kissing outside, it seems okay, right? No, no, I'm kidding everyone listening. Get your vaccine and don't be playing Spin the B bottle quite yet. Should we pause and wait for her to come back?

No, we're putting all of this out. I was going to say, is this all going in? I need to know to keep being on. Shelby texted Mike and I. Mike is our brilliant producer. Texted, my computer crashed, smiley face. And then she sent three more smiley faces and a screenshot of her computer now updating. Her computer's like going through an update.

It's weird she's smiling about it, don't think well that's shelby's way she smiles through the pain okay because i would i would have added crying emojis oh god michael's shaking his damn head now the producer's shaking his damn head michael wait what's his name michael is long for mike michael you can't do that though you can't reverse people's names into being long form it only goes the other way i literally heard michael i thought it was michael sorry mr mike oh michael is shaking Michael is doing it again. Literally. Well, this is going to go ahead and be one of those iconic times where you're recording a podcast and your computer completely shuts down entirely. I can't wait for you to find out.

We're going to put all of that out. And I can't wait for you to find out what happened while you were gone. Wow. Okay. Well, then we are back on track. I hope you guys had a blast without. We should all go to Spain. We should all of us go to Spain.

I'm tired of living in LA in the pandemic. Michael, will you go with us? Michael. So I literally heard Mike, but my brain said Michael. And I keep, I literally. No, I think I'm going Michael. You've been doing a great job. No one's called you michael

i want every inch of this released i want every inch of this released i don't want a single second of this cut and i'm being dead serious okay have we even started asking meg about her records or what oh oh oh wait meg we came we brought you here because we wanted to ask you a question if you were sending like your own records into space like we're sending new ones out today what are you gonna put on that yeah oh my god besides full cunt um no i don't know if i'm allowed to say you can cut that out michael no no no oh my god yours it's so funny because all my choices are so innocent and then i went hard with saying that i don't know where it came from to be honest that was insane of you to say

besides full cunt uh i guess and then to see how innocent your yours is gonna be i know how sweet and truly full of heart to be like besides my own fucking cunt pictures of my pussy and ass oh god why the c word really sets me up like i it's the one thing i don't actually there are a lot of things i don't feel comfortable saying but it's like the one curse word i don't feel comfortable saying caleb says i'll say any word in the dictionary point to it name a slur my favorite new joke is to say cunt in a medical term like like or like pussy in a medical way like i'll do like an instagram live and be a doctor and be like so you're gonna if you're feeling any pressure in your cunt it's so funny to me just like it's the most sexual two

words in the history of words in the history of the planet and then to say it medically is just so funny to me i need a crash cart charge to 200 okay place the paddles on her on her titties yeah titties is funny too so yeah you're gonna have to stretch it yeah i can't i can't keep i could do it all day but um so the the first thing on my uh and in no order really um i go i go the first thing is just butterfly kisses um after all that no the the first thing i would say on my record uh this is now it's time to now i'm going to say the real one is if you seen a show called girls there's a beach episode and i think it's one of the best episodes of tv ever it's so good the beach house episode yeah have you seen it lena dunham's girls on hbo made by apatow we all know

we all know the show we all know it we all know it and this episode's really talked about i think we have previously referred to it as daughters because of how many of them have famous dads oh yeah that's so true shoshana's dad is famous wait who's her dad who's her dad caleb you knew it i wish no i didn't i know i've never heard of this oh what's her last name i simply must tell you kennedy her dad was john f kennedy no oh it's zosia uh her dad her dad is david mammett who is that the playwright david mammett i i started to act like i knew i'm really bad with celebrity names i'm really bad with celebrity names i'm so sorry meg you'll know david mammett as um the playwright who all of his plays um said things like cunt or fuck or bitch he was really into swearing really big in swearing

he also he wrote les mis oh really wow okay he wrote les mis oh it was marnie's dad who was jfk marnie's dad was jfk no marnie's dad is like a new lance bass and marnie was the second guy what did you say lance bass marnie's dad is lance okay famous astronaut we have to like lance bass on the podcast who wrote les mis who wrote les mis and greece too okay so meg what do you like about the beach house episode of girls well so the show is the reason that i'm so i was so into that show is you know these are all these characters are really horrible people it's fun to watch them interact I don't know Lena Dunham I'm not I I I will I know there's a lot to say about her but I will say she does a great job

making fun of herself in the show she really does write like this very bad character with you know she's pretty I feel like in the show she's self-aware but the the beach house uh episode is so good because they're just it feels so real like it feels yeah the way they're talking feels so real it's like there's so many uncomfortable awkward moments and that to me is is like the funniest thing to watch is like when people are fighting but like it looks real like i don't want to see two people just screaming at each other, but to fight and it look real and like improvised, even though it probably was scripted is so good. Specifically coming to mind is like when, and Marnie does this a lot in this episode where she'll be like, can I talk to you? Or be like, she's like, like at one point she's like, Hannah, I'm so sorry to interrupt.

Could you come do a tick check on me in the other room? A tick check? I was just rummaging outside and I feel like I might have. could you come do a tick check on me in the other room? A tick check? Mm-hmm. I was just rummaging outside, and I feel like I might have... It's like, what a weird, like, thing, but then... Passive-aggressive, like... Yeah, and then there's when she calls her out of the pool. Hey, Hannah? Yeah.

Hi. Could you come here really quickly? You guys are not playing. Hi. Hi. What's going on? It's dinner time. Okay, so I'll get everyone out of the pool.

No, no, no, it's dinner time. Okay, so I'll get everyone out of the pool. No, no, no. It's dinner time for us. See you in a minute. Yeah. That is such a realistic, like, how friends would be when they've been drinking all day. One of them's trying to have fun. One of them's trying to be like, all right, well, this is also, like, my parents' house. And I'm trying to be, like, respectful.

And I made dinner. I cooked dinner for four people. And now there's 15 like it's such a realistic depiction of like long-time friends in that situation yeah literally it just plays with all their dynamics so good it's like barely anything happens they just stay at this beach house but it's so interesting to watch like i've seen it a million times it also kind of like uh the office version is that is office version is the famous episode where they go to Jan's house. Dinner party. The dinner party.

That would also, if I had to choose between, that would also be one. I think people have a hard time watching it because it's so awkward, but it's so funny and realistic. Now, one thing that Girls has over the office is the title. Because in the office, there are a lot of times different places. They're not even in the title. Girls. Because in The Office, yeah, in The Office, there are a lot of times different places. They're not even in The Office a lot of times. But girls, so many of them are girls. So many.

But in this episode, actually, girls are outnumbered by boys. Yeah. Wow. Have you seen this episode, Caleb? No, I don't think so. I really think you'd think it was really funny. It's really funny the way they fought. There's a lot of theater gaze in this this episode oh i wouldn't like it theater theater gays i mean it just

depends if i know them in real life i can handle it but i don't think i can handle depictions of theater gays you know yeah there's like one of them is teaching kind of a broadway dance to the girlies in the living room while they're all drunk which does seem fun it's so funny because and and Marnie is like I think she just she would be such a horrible friend in real life but she's so funny to watch like some of the all of them are so awkward she's just so they're all would be yeah bad friends in real life but she just is so awkward and she's so into the dance and then she's telling Hannah how to like do the dance. It's just the most passive aggressive. I think that's what I think is so funny is a passive aggressive fight that then blows out.

And you want the aliens to know that. You want the aliens to know that sometimes when we fight, it's really subtle. Yeah. That's like what a passive aggressive group of friends would be. That's what they need to know. Caleb, wait, Meg, who, what's the uh british one's name oh jessa jessa yeah caleb i know you're the kind of sober person you're the kind of sober person that jessa is in this episode she is forcing everyone else to drink because she says

if they don't she will and she's like oh, oh no, call my sponsor. Is that me? You'll just tell everyone else to drink. I love when people drink. I love that for them. And I think it's really bad. No, I'm kidding. I think it's bad if you have a problem, sure. But I wouldn't tell my friends if they were socially drinking. Meg says, if you have a problem.

Meg goes, can you guys put backing on this? If you have a problem. There are numbers you can call this is the number i will say it was it's weird i've been at a couple parties with meg in my life and it's you do walk around and say take drinks from people and say oh i want to see you in heaven you do that a lot you you take people's drinks you pour them out if i had a choice i would take every drink out of everyone's hands. I know. And you try tally. That's the craziest thing to me. It's less.

I text them the next day of how much they've drank. You had six. Well, you say often I'll get from you in the morning is how are you feeling after seven? I would, cause I would be in the hospital since I don't drink, but you,

can you imagine that? You're ill. Physically. I bet't drink, but you, can you imagine that? You're physically, I bet. Meg, I want to know just from a personal perspective, like my POV. What's next?

What is the next thing you would put on your record? Sure. I thought you're going to be like, what projects are you up to? Yeah. Okay. So fuck the premise of the podcast. What are you working on, girl?

And what are you excited about? I know there's stuff that you're working on that you're not excited about but what are you excited what excited what brings you joy no for real my next one is the this really specific the knowledge of dolly parton but mostly her amusement park dollywood because we used to go to gallenberg tennessee every summer and it just is so much fun and yeah we did go to the dixie stampede and i know that that has bad conion con someone help me out connotations you got it hey girl you got it but i was a kid when we were there and there was you would drink a icy out of a boot working know that now i'm not supporting the dixie champagne but there's also a dollar water park me me trying to start a group singing of nine to five i started no no we drink ices maybe like we drink ices stop i just don't want to get canceled and be like okay megan loves

the dixie champagne but i'm just saying i had I was a kid when I was there and in Megan's defense you have always been you're not like a bandwagon person you're a huge fan of the confederacy which I always have disagreed and have been almost since birth no guys I was a child at the Dixie Stampede I was drinking a slurpee out of a boot I haven't been there in years years years I don't even know if it still exists but I will keep going to Dollywood because she is Dolly Parton is literally i feel like she has my beliefs because we both love god and believe in god but we're also like normal gay people like i mean i don't know if she's gay but

dolly dolly is first and foremost me and dolly are together dolly i will say dolly parton is queer coded yeah she literally supports everyone like she's not a mean christian she's the gayest woman alive to me she literally supports everyone like me on the fudge scale she should be the femme the femme the far end of them yes yes yes i love that megan said she's gay she would hook i know that we would hook up if we were hanging out i feel like i don't think she would hook up with me i gotta be honest but i do think she would maybe make me her daughter granddaughter i know she'd say something like like honey just because she'd look at me and be like honey just because you haven't eaten it doesn't mean you're not bi go for a girl

i think she'd just be so supportive of me and just, I don't know. I just love Dolly Parton. And in the amusement park or Dollywood, there's this ride that you go inside and it's like a movie theater. It's not really a ride, but it plays every like, as a kid, I always liked the shows most, right? Like in an amusement park. And you would go sit in this movie theater, this little fake movie theater. And you'd see these beautiful videos of Dolly Parton singing. And like during certain parts,

you would like get wet or like a banjo guy would come out. It was like interactive movie for like 15 minutes. I just, she's so gorgeous. Can I ask a question about Dollywood? Yes. Does she fund it? Or is it funded by someone else?

I think she probably does. I mean, I have never looked it up, but I feel like she's so rich think she probably does i mean i have never looked it up but i feel like she's so rich she probably does there's like literally a museum of her clothes there that's so funny you have to agree that's funny well oh honey i'm laughing my way to the bank it wouldn't still be open if she wasn't funding it to a profit yeah yeah if she's funding it it's only to the extent that she then makes even more money off of it no no no i'm not criticizing her i would never well it felt like you were so you need to be very careful guys this feels like the beach episode of girls shall we can i talk to you

for a second tick check is that tick check tick check we're in different rooms caleb says can you do a tick check um we asked megan mike to close their eyes and caleb strips down while i check for ticks on zoom i thought you're gonna say while you take a shit what i thought you said caleb strips down while i take a shit i was like what is happening you don't know what happens in our house but um head gum's gonna refuse to put this episode out why we keep saying we keep saying shit in the c word we keep so naughty we're being so naughty on this episode yeah maybe this episode we have mike i'm giving mike so much work we bleep out every curse word do you want to michael michael i don't know literally i'm not trying to be funny i don't know

why i keep calling him michael mike mike mike i have i don't know when this i think this got stuck in my head because meg called dolly parton gay but i can't i can't stop imagining dolly dolly parton saying something real gross like you know like like doll i think it's from i think it's just part of life well that's basically what meg, just because you haven't eaten it doesn't mean you're not bi. Darn. Which is really a beautiful life lesson. I want to hear Dolly Parton say something like throw a neck or like giving top. Honey, are you a top or a bottom?

That's not the only two things you can be. I want Dolly Parton to tell me that someone blew her back out oh my god i've been married for 40 years and i love i still love getting my back blown out actually she's really funny i feel like she would say something like she is really funny she's really cool hey she really is she's miley cyrus's godmother you know she's down do you worry though meg Meg, at all about if you send the knowledge of Dolly Parton, what if you do that and then the aliens

think like, this is what they're all like, and then they get down here and meet a Tucker Carlson or something. That's why we send the girls episode. That way to see that they're not all like her. Okay, okay, okay, okay. And if anything, we should want them to think that we're all like her because otherwise so so they won't come down and murder us well but they when

they see i'm just worried that they will murder us if they get here and we're not like her well i do have a western cowgirl dress yeah they're like these are this is a fun people and then they get down here and we're all kind of like, yeah, we're actually working nine to five. Dolly is singing about working nine to five. We are living. We are actually. Wait, can I tell you something I saw today actually that has to do with Dolly Parton

is I was on TikTok. Wait, we didn't say yes. Oh, oh, sorry. Can I? Yeah. Shall be. Dot, dot, dot. Shall be for shame.

To make our guests feel ashamed of telling a cool share anything else with you guys shelby joseph wolstein there's these tiktoks where like people will dress up as people you know then there's like a transition in there in their makeup so this girl was doing the series where she was like oh i'm gonna dress up as different famous bimbos that was the title i was like okay let's we're using that word but um there was one where she was dolly parton there were so many comments people are so mean online so many comments i don't see dolly not good she would never wear that she went someone goes someone goes she wouldn't wear nude lipstick like that

and the funny part was that the girl was responding to these mean comments with videos, like proving them wrong. But it's like, let it go. These people are mean about everything. Like she would have a video where there was all these Dolly Parton's and nude lipstick and she'd be like, really now? Yeah, she does. It's like, obviously, like these people are just being mean.

I think I would include that as an addition to the knowledge of Dolly Parton part, but like the comment section about like, and then someone proving it, like a fight in the comment section that I want to send up. Shelby is going to put the most, the most, the most cancerous element of society,

the comment section, the comment section of any website is the most cancerous. It's like the, I, I, the comment section is so tough shelby you're so brave to send that yeah have you guys learned your lesson about comment sections i read

every single one no i can't stop reading them i read them but i need to stop we all need to stop but i'm addicted it's good to stop but can you imagine i just can't it's hard not to read it i'm addicted to reading the comments tweeting the comments on tiktok i don't always read them all because there's like i feel like you get so many on tiktok but twitter instagram i'm definitely reading those may do you think what percentage of your online followers do you think you could beat in a physical fight i'm very soft i would would say like 5%. Really? I think you could take 25%. You said that so cute.

Minimum. I really can't fight though. I would be crying. Like 5%. The thought of someone knocking my teeth out is so scary. I literally go and check my teeth every time I eat to make sure none of them fill out. I'm not kidding you. I get nervous.

We got to go to a break. We got to talk to you about that. We're going to take a break. We got to go to a break we gotta talk to you about that we're gonna take a break all right break time welcome bark yeah we said welcome bark do you like it yeah people the fans the the kr fans the kr heads kind of they kind of like Welcome Bark, actually. What are we going to start calling them? KR heads? Oh, okay.

No, that's bad. That's a bad one. I didn't like it. Keeping record. What should we call fans of the pod? Keepers. I said keepers. Record keepers.

Record keepers is actually keepers. I said keepers. What should we call them? Kikis. Kikis. Guys, we're going to put a little comment box and you're gonna name yourself yeah what do you guys want to be called um and then after that go uh give us good ratings on apple wait what about the record heads the record heads also i should say to

these people if you identify as keeping records fan really quick people we always forget to do this you guys should go and and like and subscribe and share meg's episode with a bunch of people because please please please please and also just like hit us with a like a good review on apple give us some reviews send us ten thousand dollars yeah give us ten thousand dollars wait meg we want to play a game with you it's called this or that this or that right on and basically we're going to give you 60 seconds to answer as many questions as you can meg the name of the game is speed babe i'm going to start the clock uh in just a second so i'm just yelling out the answer i'm not going into detail you're going as quick as you can you're not going into detail clock starts now go spin the bottle or seven minutes in heaven? Spin the bottle. Mr. Bean or Pinto Beans?

I couldn't hear you. Sorry. Mr. Bean or Pinto Beans? Pinto Beans. Pancake or waffle? Waffle. Football, American version or football, soccer? Football. MLM or M&M? M&M. Magicians or clowns? Oh, okay. Magicians. Carnival or parade? Parade.

Tim Allen or Tim Robinson? Oh. Tim Allen. Wait. Wait. No, Tim Robinson. No, no. I forgot.

I forgot. No, no. Tim Robinson, obviously. Fighting fires or starting fires. Tim Robinson, obviously. Fighting fires or or Starting Fires. Tim Robinson, obviously. Fighting Fires or Starting Fires. You picked him, Ellen. Starting Fires. Amelia Bedelia or Amelia Earhart?

Amelia Bedelia. Emma Stone or Stonehenge? Tim Robinson, for sure. And that's it. What was the last one? Emma Stone or what? Emma Stone or Kid? Emma Stone or Kidney Stone, what did you say?

That's funnier. Emma Stone or Kidney Stone? Emma Stone. I can't believe you picked Tim Allen. Cut the part where it may change the answer. I literally only said the first thing that y'all said and I was like, no, Tim Robinson. Unfortunately, Meg, we're not allowed to change it retroactively. I really don't want Tim Allen. said the first thing that y'all said and i was like no tim robinson yeah i i unfortunately meg

we're not allowed to change it retroactively i really don't want tim allen i really don't we're gonna cut the part where you fixed it so that everyone thinks you love tim allen i'm gonna bring it up so many times so you can't cut it we're gonna what we're gonna do is we're gonna keep playing where you say tim allen like five times no michael dub over my voice please and say tim robinson right away i'll just give you clean tim robinson right now like five times. Please, no. Michael, dub over my voice. Please. And say Tim Robinson right away. I'll just give you clean Tim Robinson right now.

Tim Robinson. So just put that over the audio of me singing Tim Allen. It also wasn't clean. It also wasn't clean. Okay, here, one more time. Tim Robinson.

Tim Allen. She said Tim Allen. I heard Tim Allen. I blinked. I just said the first thing you said. we have to know what else you would put on your records okay but i also want to say i choose carnival besides parade and i because i just freaked out during that one too um the next thing i say okay this is really specific so this is the feeling the next thing i want to put on the record is the feeling where you're at a big dinner table with your friends and you guys are laughing so hard someone's telling a story that the person next to you is like leaning their head on you or grabbing your arm like

can you believe what they're saying like what your friend's saying you know what i mean like everyone's kind of like laughing and you just feel the person next to you and maybe they weren't even that close of a friend before that dinner but you became close. I don't know. You're just grabbing onto each other being like, in this moment, can you believe what our other friend is saying? And you're all laughing. That feeling. Yeah, there's so much happiness leaving your body that they feel like they have to

touch the people around you to try and contain yourself. To stabilize. You're like, I will float away if I'm not locked down. Okay, wait. Cute. will float away if I'm not locked down. Okay, wait. Cute. That's beautiful.

I'm going to cry. Yeah, just so you're all just so excited and you're like, I'm going to literally float up to the ceiling if I don't hold on. Caleb, I'm specifically thinking of one of the nights that we went to. Why can't I think of the diner's name? Pick Me Up Cafe. Pick Me Up Cafe. why can't i think of the diner's name pick me up cafe pick me up cafe when tom alex ordered mashed potatoes and broccoli and tom did something really funny and tom was just tom hanks by the way yeah sorry we're industry now um tom simmer maker our very our very very very funny friend and

comedian tom simmer maker he told some story and like nobody could breathe oh that's what i'm thinking about tom also if anyone didn't laugh at uh his stories right away he would go come on you guys are making me feel crazy wouldn't it be so funny if i was like yeah i've never actually had that feeling but i just felt like it would be good to put on the record i knew you guys yeah i saw it in a movie do you want to recreate that experience for them or is there like a specific moment you would want to retroactively have taped for them oh you know what i would say like recently i don't know i was it was like the first time i was at a dinner with friends like a very small group when we were

outside since the pandemic though and we all were you there i wasn't invited were you invited no guys makes like just my closest people the people i really trust i wasn't in the tom the tom dinner that was years ago man you were living in new york babe now this is well to be very specific it was the cast of hacks that's coming out soon and it was because we were celebrating that we were about to have our show come out and we watched the trailer together for the first time and we were all laughing and hope no we were outside i know to force me to be like okay no we were all so excited and someone was telling a story and we were all grabbing onto each other and i was like i haven't had this feeling in a year and a half because of the pandemic like and it was we were also we're

also like all vaccinated and we're outside but and it took you know it takes a while everyone's getting vaccinated i wasn't going to any dinners and then we just were having we were like high off of being around people again and we were just celebrating and like holding on to each other and if they could film that also the waiter literally our waiter that night messaged me on instagram and said i was your waiter and i heard you guys talking about your show and how it was so sweet seeing you guys together and i mean it was weird the waiter didn't say he knew who we were when he was there. But it was sweet that this stranger saw how happy we were to be together. So maybe the waiter could have taped that and sent it to the aliens.

I love that. We all love that. Okay. You go next. Okay, what's next? Okay, what's next? Remember Meg and Shelby, do you guys remember in uh chicago that one time we when we all lived there that uh yes me shelby and holmes drove over to meg's uh place and meg

we sat in your living room like no music no tv complete silence we just talked for like five and a half hours straight we literally were trying to order food for five hours we kept laughing so hard that we kept forgetting to order the food like do you remember that and we were signing big time and i remember the food debacle because caleb on the way to your house caleb was like you might want to stop for a sandwich because i know these people and they're gonna want oh my god oh my god oh my god i know people caleb goes i know i know holmes and meg and they're gonna want me well i want y'all and you're a vegetarian you're gonna be honest holmes was the one with the phone most of the time and i you know i felt like i remember holmes holding the phone i literally remember holmes holding the phone about the pizza holmes

is in trouble caleb goes caleb goes caleb goes holmes and mac are gonna want like a meat lovers pizza oh a meat lovers he was like he was like so there's a subway down the road you should grab something funny i actually have veggie pizza i don't really get meat on my pizza which i didn't know i do like me so we're we're going up i'm like should i stop at subway and get like a sandwich he was like yeah you're just probably not gonna be able to eat the pizza that we get we didn't want you to have to get your own pizza i thought you'd be frustrated yeah and we get wait look at michael for a minute look at michael's face meg is meg is like completely obsessed with mike being a part of the episode mike turned his camera off he's so mad at us he's done with us he's gonna look bored for a second though oh my um but then we get inside

and holmes was like i don't eat meat and meg was like i don't really like meat on my pizza and caleb was like i guess i'll go walk to subway or get something else it was so funny and you guys got veggie pizza yeah and i think i love a veggie pizza i'm actually starving right now i'm you have no idea i mean i have literally sitting in the next room let's get off here so we can all eat i actually am pretty sensitive when i'm listening to a podcast and someone says they're hungry i can't believe i just did that because it makes me go the podcast i'm listening to they'd rather be eating than talking to me right now no my god our listeners are never gonna think that yeah i don't think so

hosts of those podcasts and she's like just so you know i took offense yeah i'm like you couldn't wait to get off the air just so you know i didn't love that wait also i have to say i'm pretty sensitive right now about i just want to tell the listeners i'm pretty sensitive about the story i told you all about the cast and the waiter knowing us i just want you guys to know i was forced to tell that story and the waiter detail was important because like i was saying when you see a group of people laughing like that holding on to each other it's infectious the waiters notice they smile they get excited for you whether they come up and say it or not smiling's infectious and it's easy to do and it takes less muscles than frowning do you guys think michael's mad at me for real

because i really feel bad if i go michael it might help if you start calling him mike i'll say okay mike mike sorry sorry mike mike mike mike mike mike no micah's honestly probably mike mike mike mike mike mike we talk about him michael we talk about mike so often on the podcast and like compliment him and then he cuts it all because he loves having a- But we're making it hard for him to cut it all by doing it constantly. Well, I just felt so bad because he couldn't chime in about the pizza. So he was kind of like, the listeners couldn't see him, but he kind of had his hand on his

hand. The listeners need to know he was doing nothing abnormal. He just wasn't like- He wasn't laughing. He wasn't laughing. he wasn't like, he wasn't laughing. Right. But we weren't really saying anything. I was, I wasn't saying anything funny.

So who can blame Mike for doing that? There. I said it. Mike, Meg, what's next on your record? What's next on your records, babe?

So the next is a picture of Michael. Um, no, the next, could you imagine if that's what so the next is a picture of michael smiling at me the next is the smell of sunscreen in a pool and a pool and the feeling of being in a pool all day now i i just the the smell of chlorine and sunscreen is so addicting i mean not like i'm not in a drug way, but literally the little girl I used to nanny

was so cute. We'd go to this park sometimes and she would go there was like this indoor pool next to it because there was like a community center and she'd go, do you want to go inside and take a smell of the pool? Well, did you? To get like the chlorine. Yeah, we'd go inside and like sit

there and, hmm, smells great. It was her favorite smell too have you guys heard that there's a chlorine shortage oh this summer okay totally cut that part i meant my favorite's the smell of laundry we'll use that fresh laundry no but genuinely have you guys heard that i read that in the news and i was like what and then the picture that accompanied the news article was like some man like in full clothes just cleaning his pool with his hands wait why is there a shortage of that i don't know but they're they're like it was like this summer there's a shortage of chlorine pools are gonna whatever whatever whatever whatever, whatever, whatever. Wow. So maybe we send a note saying, get the smell while it lasts.

Get it while it's hot, babe. Yeah. Babe, it's on my hotcakes. Do you guys like that smell? I love it. I love it so much. Okay, yeah. It's so good.

Well, there's something so specifically childhood about it. And it's not that pools are only for kids, but like. You're at a pool so often when you're a kid. Yeah, I feel like I was always swimming. You know what i know when i went to the public pool i i got really addicted because other people were doing this i didn't come up with this so don't even don't even freaking try no uh i came up with i came up with peeing actually um no i'm in the pool other kids during snack time started going to the concession stand and ordering a a large dill pickle with nacho cheese on the side, like melted nacho cheese. Oh, really?

And it actually rocks so fucking hard. So now when I think of that, my mouth is watering right now. When I think of that smell, I also think of the taste of an enormous dill pickle with nacho melted cheese. Do you eat, do you, would you eat it now? Like when's the last time you eat it now like when's last time you ate it i haven't i mean no i've never i wouldn't go out of my i i've never had the opportunity probably since childhood there was one sitting behind you look under your table look under your desk i wish i could say that oh i just oh that's i've actually just recently got

into eating little tiny tiny pickles on a sandwich because i've been so anti-pickle my whole life but i maybe always have three jars of pickles yeah we love pickles in the south yeah i haven't gotten into a jar yet but i will let them leave it on my sandwich now so that's a step what is that restaurant in andersonville that has fucking incredible sandwiches that i love so much andersonville chicago it has amazing sandwiches. It's called like- Jimmy John's. Oh, yes. Jimmy John's. No. It's- Jimmy John's.

I can't remember the name of it. I keep guessing it. Anyway, it has amazing sandwiches. And they have this one sandwich that's like challah and buffalo chicken and pickles. Jerry's. Jerry's, babe. Jerry's. Jerry's sandwich.

Oh, my God. Those are so good. Free call out for the girls. Caleb's taking me to Jerry's And I gotta say Jerry if you're listening I can't do a spice You're doing something right

They have Oh my god Meg They have so many sandwiches Jerry if you're listening I can't do a spice I can't do a spice Jerry Free clot for the girlies Except for spice

The challah bread Sounds delicious Yum Yum yum yum yum yum But Meg I actually wanted to ask you Mmhmm What's something so embarrassing in all of humanity

that you would delete it from the records altogether and before you answer it doesn't have to be the big stuff like it doesn't have to be war or famine or homelessness even though we would delete all of those things yeah of course yeah we just agree with you and it's just not as fun it's supposed to be like a funny, silly one. Not like, yeah. Yeah. Okay. Cause like one for the girlies. One for the girlies.

Cause of course I would delete homelessness and you know, racism. This is exactly what we wanted to avoid. But I go, but what I'd really delete is ginger ale. Meg is like when someone's like, all right, everyone go around the circle and like, what's like one wish if you had a genie and it's like world peace? More wishes. Yeah. I actually love ginger ale though.

So please don't delete it. I think I would delete. I don't want to delete all of mine. Please don't delete ginger ale. Please let me keep ginger ale. I love ginger ale. It's so underrated. Nobody talks about it.

It's better than wine. I don't like wine. I don't drink. So I guess. it's better than wine i don't like wine i don't drink so i guess it's better than wine i would delete not all not online dating but the interaction when you are meeting up with someone for the first time and you have to go hey oh yeah right over here like that oh yeah like oh yeah oh yeah what. Oh, Caleb, bye. Oh, God. Shelby, bye. What's the solution? What do you guys do? Because I don't like people to see me go.

I show up late. And so they're already sitting and then you're walking towards them? I try to show up late to those things so that we don't like. Here's my biggest fear, Meg. You're an hour late. That exact interaction. That you have to meet in front of a hostess? No.

Because that's hell to me. No, worse to me. I've got an even worse one. That's so sick. That you show up at exactly the same time and park and catch each other walking down the street to the place and have to walk together kill me dead in my sleep what do you do do you go it's me it's me i mean i know they kind of come out you both recognize each other at the same time but no this has

genuinely kind of happened to me where i walk in at the same time and the hostess is like already talking to them. And then they're like saying, I'm like, oh, hi. And then the hostess is trying to like give instructions. They're trying to talk to the hostess while also like meeting me. I'm trying to like, oh, my God, that really happened. I would pass away. I would pass out. I'm trying to not be a problem.

So I'm like, oh, yeah, no, let's just get seated. And then but then even getting that out takes time away from the hostess explaining what's happening and they know you guys are meeting for the first time and it's so embarrassing like well and then i feel like they're gonna send something to my table being like have a good first yeah they're gonna do a song wait literally first of all i like to be the person that is in the place so they can come find me. But recently I tried something that is actually the best so far, which is I have them meet me in a park. I'm already sitting there with a blanket. So they can walk up to me.

And nothing else. A blanket. Nothing else. You know what else? I'm dripping sweat. Completely naked on a blanket. You know what? That reminded me of something embarrassing happened to me today that I'd like to delete which is i was in the starbucks line and when i get to the counter

this seems so sweet and let me tell you i do appreciate it but it was actually made me feel weird that the person goes um the person in front of you paid for your items and i know that person like i know they feel great doing it i know that i appreciate the free coffee the way the person said it though made it sad and that i like was like it felt like someone was visiting me in the hospital like caleb knows for some reason i don't know why story but i was at the starbucks drive-thru and someone had paid for mine yeah i was like cool i'll pay for the person behind me then because oh god why didn't i do that but no i just felt so awkward meg i go i'll pay for the person behind me and he goes he like gets really quiet he goes you're not gonna want to do that and i was like what and he was like they ordered like 55 and i was like listen you're right thank you for saying that ultimately mean of you to say

right you're right you're absolutely right yeah i don't want to pay for their 55 coffee order what are you ordering at starbucks for 55 that had to been a lot of coffees i mean it had to be like it had to be someone's like pa and they were getting like coffees for everyone sandwiches for everyone like it had to be just like someone who was an assistant when i was an admin assistant i i would regularly go to starbucks and spend 60 70 bucks but it's so funny it was so funny for this like like funny little barista to be like hey girly i know what you're trying to do and it's like they're on the speaker you don't want to pay for that and i like to think that when the car comes up he goes she tried to pay but you guys sort of outpriced her

so well now i feel bad i feel like i was in a train of people buying each other's coffee and it ended with me but it's only because the woman the woman seemed sad about it i'm not kidding she was like yeah they bought your items i'm like why are you sad did you want them to buy your coffee like i literally just freaked out i was like okay thanks bye that's so nice but i should have i would have wanted to buy someone else's meg what else would you put on your golden records um the last thing that i have because you said five because you limited me i would have said five. Because you limited me. I would have a lot more, but you limited me.

You guys are bad hosts. The feeling when you realize you have a crush on someone. And yes, I know I'm 30 years old and I still use crush. I will always say the word crush. Meg, do you have a crush on anyone on this call right now? Yes. How many crushes? Three.

Three people. Yeah, exactly. Exactly. I was hoping. Me, myself, and I. And Michael. you have a crush on anyone on this call right now yes how many crushes three three people yeah exactly exactly i was hoping oh me myself and i and michael me michael my self myself four crushes crush on you guys of course you guys are or some of my closest friends i've been flirting with my friends recently i i can't there's no lines anymore of of what's friendship what's not now that the pandemic is planned over no i know it's not over fully but it's it's starting it's it's the beginning of the end it's wrapping up it's it's last call last call on pandemic closing time you don't have to go home but you can't finish your way see your fear meg have you have you ever had a toxic crush on somebody like to the point where you were actually a bad person about it wait what what's the point where you were like kind of being a bad person about it like it was taking over your

life a little bit oh i don't think i ever was a bad person but i've definitely done certain things that were like yeah i'm under some sort of crush spell. Like I wouldn't normally do this. I mean, you've been a bad person about it. Not bad. More of like sending people gifts. Give us an example. Not of the person, but of the bad thing. Killing, killing, killing, killing, killing to get closer to them.

Killing to get closer to them. No, I've never killed. You start killing people they love. I think I've said some pretty like romantic things or done some acts of, you know, I've written a song for someone before. I toxic yeah that's toxic behavior but i wouldn't say i'm a bad person i would say that i'm a lovely when you when you really when you really have a crush on someone the best thing you can do and this is advice for the listeners or for you guys on the pod the best thing you can do is kill someone they're really close with and then be there for them when they're mourning that.

Yeah. Yeah. And then be there for them when they're mourning. I had no bad. I had two crushes in elementary school that I was really into. And every Valentine's day, my mom would take me to a CVS to buy gifts for them. And every year I would be too scared to put them in their cubby and have

them for myself. Oh my gosh. That's sweet. You did Galentine's day well yeah how about this advice when you got a crush flirt with someone else flirt with someone else in front of them or just generally no no no not in front of them no my real advice is to be authentically yourself and to totally flirt with them because if they don't like you like it's better to get it over with right like i'm always to be honest but i also think it probably something that i probably could get better about is if i really have a crush on someone probably make it a little more casual by flirting with other people and see where it goes but you know not letting it

take over your life yeah that could help but um always be honest with your flirting because like here's the thing is you just never first of all i always say if you think someone's flirting with you they they are they are if you're getting the vibe they are a number of times that hasn't been true for me even if they aren't dating or like even if they're dating someone else they're still flirting with you if you feel the vibe it's there don't you think oh i wish that was true i wish that was true no i don't think so but i really love that that's played out that way in your life i love that you don't think that if you're feeling the vibe when you're like we're vibing it's not even if

they can't admit it it is it is flirting no because because you're like doing everything to make it true you're like even if they won't admit it even if they'd never call it this even if they never talk to you again if the vibe vibe is there, that's what someone else told me. And I, Meg is like, Meg is like, no, it has to be true because there's been a lot of people that I've thought were flirting and it never panned out. Nothing ever happened. But it doesn't mean that they weren't flirting with me. No, I feel like it takes, I feel like I'm such a flirty person.

It does take like a real vibe for me to know they're flirting back. Cause I just feel like, yeah, you flirt with your friends all the time, but I think if you really feel like they are and you're like, do they like me? They usually do. Like there's usually something there, but you're saying that hasn't played out and you've been wrong. Well, I think I'm pretty quick to, I've had to, I've had to reel it in a little bit because I'm pretty, I used to be to the point where someone would just be like, someone would just be like, Hey, how's it going's it going and i'd be like um obsessed with me much like like i thought ever like i thought everyone was no i mean like a real vibe like you're and then you're just like second guessing and then that's when you it makes you feel like you're going crazy when you start second guessing yourself i really go the opposite way like caleb

has before been like oh that's flirting and i'm like yeah that can't be so that could never be so no one would say no one would do that but ever it helps an like yeah that can't be so that could never be so no one would say no one would do that but ever it helps an outside eye for sure to be like they're they're flirting with you so did you just get really sad yeah i'm like wait caleb you just got really sad for a second caleb you went and just did this are you guys okay is everyone okay can we just like can we just never mind i want to send peanut butter that's my last thing no crushes about peanut butter no i didn't get sad i honestly um my my headphones got a little tangled and i was pretty focused on fixing it oh i want that to

be the video that goes on twitter because you really did look kind of sweet that was sweet there's something really sweet about having a crush. Meg, I have a final question for you. Yes. So while we're sending this out to space, we got to include a little log line for the aliens. And it doesn't have to be terribly serious. What are you saying?

I'm saying love yourself and get ahead every day. Or is that not what you're kind of thinking? No, we love that no no you did it perfectly i just just wonder if everyone's getting head every day does some are people giving it or are you just like getting it kind of how does that work well it's sort of like a human situation yeah yeah i don't know i don't know if i want to give head every day that's a big get what you they don't call it blowjob for no reason no i'm kidding um i i feel like every day would be a lot wouldn't every day be a lot to give or get maybe i'll change my here's the thing it would be fun in the beginning and then people would start to be like heavily desensitized because it's like every day so then you're starting to like yeah you're starting to really be giving it for like 45-50 minutes and then it goes even longer and now you're like

I'm doing it for two seconds and I'm going what else what else could you imagine me doing something different than this Meg's licking the tip and being like that's it I'm the pillow princess Meg just gives a little kiss to the general she's like okay well that was fun

my turn and that's it that's what you get make you have been a truly amazing guest this episode this episode is so fucking good people are gonna love it um is there anything you want to plug and tell people about hacks hacks hacks oh yes please watch hacks on hbo max and i think i'd plug just getting back out there. Yeah. I'm going to plug the concept of re-entry. Thank you. I will plug

getting your vaccine. I'm plugging the idea of getting sort of better at life. I'm going to plug for my plug. I'm going to plug

the world reopens and we all go back to doing things we like. I'm plugging having fun again. I'm plugging going to the dentist for the first time in years. Meg plugs live life up. For me. I i'm plugging going to the dentist for the first time in years

meg plugs for me for me i'm about to go to the dentist i'm so scared of the dentist and i won't get into it and you should be they're horrible yeah i'm like terrified but i need to go just you know i think it's time time okay well meg listen please we love you so much I love you too we love you Meg we die for you Meg we love you Meg thank you on this week's episode we love you Meg we die for you Meg

we love you too That was a Hidgum Original.