Keeping Records - Gay Is This (with Bridger Winegar)

Episode Date: September 16, 2022

You know what feels nice? When a guest takes this assignment seriously for once. Many thanks to Bridger Winegar (Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt, Black Monday, I Said No Gifts!) for putting his personal and professional life on hold for a month to prep for this episode, curating and revising a list of artifacts, and agonizing over making a good alien-first-impression to answer what will undoubtedly be their first question: what is gay? Bridger's Artifacts:  Carol of the Bells (Audio) Wave Race 64 (Video Game) A photo of Bridger as a ballroom dancer (Visual) "Drop the Pilot" by Joan Armatrading (Audio)  Follow Bridger on Twitter and Instagram. Watch the video version of the episode Follow the show @keepingrecordspod Advertise on Keeping Records via Gumball.fm See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This is a HeadGum Original. In 1977, NASA sent two solid gold records into space so that aliens might find them and understand life on Earth. I send greetings on behalf of the people of our planet. And friendly wishes to all who may encounter this voyager. Now, we're making new records with our friends. Hello everyone! Hello!

Hello and greetings to everyone! Peace be upon you! We step out of our solar system into the universe seeking only peace and friendship. We know full well that our planet and all its inhabitants are but a small part of this immense universe that surrounds us. Hello from the children of planet Earth. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Welcome back to Smooth Jazz with Shelby and EJ. Ooh, yeah.

Ooh. How low can you make your voice go? Pretty, wait, no. Pretty low. Nice. Cool. I feel like I can go down to here. That's pretty low.

That's pretty low. That's pretty low. Hey, listeners. You're with Shelby Wolstein and EJ Morgan. Do you feel like that was good? I think that was like super, super good. I mean, like, wow. You're going to think that there's a third host, but that was actually just me.

You guys, that wasn't anyone. My voice travels octave to octave like you wouldn't even believe. Oh, my God. I know that's right. I know that's right. I know that's right. Hey, EJ, how's your week been? EJ and I have been talking for six hours today. I woke up, started talking to Shelby, haven't stopped.

EJ and I have been in some way talking since, I mean mean, it is, I think, I think it's like 3. It's 3.30. EJ and I started talking at 10 a.m. Yeah. Like, like genuinely. In structured ways that meant we could only really talk. Yeah. I mean, we were being recorded speaking, so there was no real silence allowed.

So. So. So. If you hear a little fry in our voice, that's because, well, these vocal cords are working overtime this afternoon. Oh, man. No one talks about this part of, you know, podcasting. No one talks about the struggle of podcasting. Nobody talks about it.

No, I literally know, like, other podcasters will record all their episodes in, like, a three-day span. I'm like, we had to record twice today. It's really hard. Someone come take me to the doctor. I need a water with honey stat. I'm on vocal rest. Yeah, I'm on vocal rest.

Sorry, this intro is going to be pretty boring because I'm on vocal rest. Sorry, you guys. You guys have to watch the video. Did you ever know anyone in high school that was, like, on vocal rest? Oh, my God, yes. Like, all my friends. That is... It's weird. They wouldn't talk to me. EJ never spoke to a friend.

EJ was like, no, these are my closest friends. And all of them were like, yeah, not today. Sorry. No, it was, like, all the, like, theater kids were always like, yeah, my solo's tonight for the musical, you know. Sorry, I wish I could chat, but I have to preserve. I don't whisper because it's not, that's actually just air moving through my mouth.

Yeah, I'm not using the vocal cords as much. Then that was just ASMR. But Julie, it was, yeah, no, that's a really intense person to be around. Welcome back to ASMR. Stop. Ooh. but Julie it was yeah I know that's a really intense person to be around welcome back to ASMR stop ooh Debbie hates it Debbie's getting the tingles I gave Debbie tingles

ooh um yeah this week um my biggest news honestly is that stop This week, my biggest news, honestly, is that... Stop it. Someone's phone.

It's unusable? Unusable. Someone's phone just spoke. Okay, so... It was my phone. Okay. Siri wanted to chat. Siri's like, girl.

Anyway, yeah, this week's been... Anyway, this week has been honestly full of events. My cat got... Maybe you already know this. Neutered. Neutered. My cat got neutered. Moment of silence for the cat falls.

Okay. Well, actually, I had like... Very strange experience. It's not every day you lose a friend. And today, the cat lost two. I don't know what the next words are. Anyway, yeah. Maybe jingle jingle wherever they are I heard that they bury them behind the vet's office

Yucky yucky But anyway yeah so that's been like a huge That's been like my main thing kind of That's my whole vibe right now. It's the cat's balls. It's the cat's absence of lack thereof, the balls. But he did figure out how to get his little cone off. So I don't know if – for those who aren't familiar with animals.

For those of you that don't know, humans aren't the only thing that live here. And in fact, some of us choose to have other things in our houses. And I chose to have a weird little cat. And he got his balls taken away. And then now he has a plastic cone around his neck, which is the saddest thing I've ever seen in my life. But it's also really funny. But he figured out how to take it off. Okay.

So that's been kind of like truly all I've been thinking about. That just goes to show that when men lose their balls, they're literally so much smarter. It's like as soon as they like get that gone. Oh, my God. It's like they can finally think straight. It's like they can think straight. Like he would have figured that out so much sooner, you know? Yeah.

Yesterday, speaking of animals that you see and that are people's pets, I met a pig. You met a pig. Yeah. I went to a showing for a house for not for me. My girlfriend's trying to move out of her apartment into another apartment. And so we looked at a house, a lot of walk around the neighborhood to get to that point. And across the street was the biggest pig I've ever seen. It was so massive. And I fell in love with it. Pigs are awesome. He was peeing and you could barely tell because his body was so close to the ground that it took

till it was like draining out to be like, oh, it's piss. And then we saw the pig, we went to see the house, then we were getting back to the car and I was like, holy shit, that pig, that pig, that pig, that pig. And so I walked back. He had moved around to a different part of the yard. And so I walked around to go see him. And then I guess his owner was taking out the trash. And I was like talking to the pig, which was mortifying. What were you saying to the pig? I was just like, hey, buddy.

Then I was like, found yourself a nice little mud spot. Like I was like really having kind of a conversation with the pig. The pig wasn't talking back. And I was just like, okay. And then the guy was like really having kind of a conversation with the pig it wasn't talking back yeah and i was just like okay and then the guy was like everyone loves a pig and i was like yeah he's so cute like i also didn't know necessarily that he was the owner at this stage i learned later that he is oh so you thought so interestingly just walking by being like everyone loves the pig and i was like yeah it seems like a neighborhood hot spot um and and then and then he goes most people probably prefer him on a

plate oh and i was like okay i was like not me i'm actually i didn't respond but i was like i actually don't eat meat and i really just want to hang out with him why do you have to take it there i don't know i was like i hope you don? Yeah. I want this pig to live forever. Yeah. It's huge. Pigs are awesome. It's like 800 pounds, this pig. Pigs are awesome. He's ugly as hell in a good way. Yeah.

Well, I like that they do roll around in mud. Because they don't sweat. Because they don't sweat, so they're cooling themselves off. Smart. I think that's kind of cool. They're also really, really smart. Yeah. I tried to get my parents to buy a teacup pig when that was all the rage.

They obviously didn't engage in that. And I was like, please. They were like, make my life perfect. I was like, pig time. Oh, the classic pig time phase. Yeah. I'm like doing PowerPoints being like, this is why we should have a pig. Yeah. We love bull should have a pig. Yeah.

We love bulldogs as a family. What better than a bulldog than the thing that we sort of modeled them after? Pigs. I was like, in this day and age, we have pigs that are small. They don't have to be big. They can be really tiny now. But then my sister, when I sent my family a picture of the pig, it was like, I found a pig. My sister responded and said, I have a friend with a pig that's like bigger than that. I said, that's crazy. This is the biggest animal I've ever seen in my life. She sent me a

picture of this friend of hers with this pig. Massive. And then she told me that their family thought they were getting a teacup pig. Oh, yeah. And it just kept growing and growing and growing and growing and growing. And this thing is massive. Jeez. And growing and growing and growing and growing. And this thing is massive. I feel like maybe I shouldn't show the camera because this girl's face is in it, but I am going to show EJ. How, like, how, well, okay, a couple questions. One, do they live? Oh, wait, no, this one is just him on the couch.

Oh, great. How big is the couch? because it should be that looks no that's not real that's photoshop is that a child that's not real Shelby's making stuff up up. Pig is massive. Pig is massive. Pig is massive. Do they live somewhere where they like have a yard? Like do they live – what do they live in? Listen, I don't know much about this family.

All I know is that I sent my family a picture of Pig thinking I'm queen of the chat today. And my sister was like, I actually have one better. Yeah, that's messed up. She was like, no, I actually know someone with a bigger pig. I was like, word up. Yeah. That's awesome. Like that's cool, I guess. I guess I won't contribute for the rest of the day.

Yeah. I thought I had something special. Well, evidently not. I literally marked where that pig was and I'm going to go back and visit it a lot. I love it. And if it ever isn't there, I'm going to sob my eyes out. Yeah. Because I'll imagine that he did put it on a plate. I don't think he's going to put it on a plate. I don't think he would let, like, how. Why would you farm pigs in the city of Los Angeles? Look, people. For food. I've seen pigs at dog parks.

Not here. But, oh. Yeah? Or what else? Companionship. Love. They're smarter than dogs. Attention.

Care. And look. It's like, you're here. Get pig at the fucking store. Get pig at the fucking store. Get pig at the fucking store. Get pig at the store. Pig is big. Pig is big and he lives near a twig.

Wow, wait. Perfect intro. Wait a minute. Do a little jig for big old pig. Oh, pig, pig, pig.? Wait a minute. Do a little jig for big old pig. Oh, pig, pig, pig. Pig in a wig? Pig in a wig? Oh, man.

That is too much. A pig in a wig? Imagine. I actually think if I got down to it, this was a hog, not a pig. Oh. Because it wasn't pink, which I know not all pigs are. Yeah, not all. Oh, my God, Shelby. Not all. Hashtag not all pigs, first of all.

First of all, they're not all pink. A lot of them have spots, which is something huge that no one talks about. Gray, gray, dark gray. Big boy. Oh, big boy. Big pig in a. Big boy. Ooh. Big boy. Big pig in a wig doing a little jig. Smoking a cig. Wait.

Okay. This is perfect image. You need to write this down. I'm serious. Dr. Seuss rolling over in his grave. You're dethroned. Come here. Give me a call. Yeah.

He can't give you a call why because he's dead jesus oh my god great let him make phone like he has so little now yeah let him call he is dead right yeah okay i was like wait wait. No, he's super, super dead. A different Dr. Seuss? No. No, I wish him the best, though. Actually, didn't. Well, no. He was super racist.

Didn't we find out a lot of bad things about him lately? Yeah, no. I wish him sort of an afterlife. Sure. Not good, not bad. Just one. Just one, yeah. Or none.

I really don't know. I don't know, I guess, what I want for bad people. Should we get into the afterlife in the couple minutes we have to dive into that? I don't know. The afterlife is one of the scariest things in the world to me. Yeah. Agree? Oh, agree. Does it exist? Please weigh in. I don't know. Little freaks, weigh in. This or that, afterlife or no afterlife. We're giving it lighthearted today. I like to think there's one. Yeah. But I like to think it's all okay. Like I don't think it needs to be paradise. But I don't think it should be hell.

No. I think it should be just like we are vibing out here. No, there's no hell. Hell is weird. I think it's like second world. We're just, we have the same shit. World number two. Take it from the top.

The reboot. Yeah. Fix a couple of top. The reboot. Yeah. Fix a couple of things. Like now we don't worry about global warming or something. Totally. Totally. God, can you imagine? That would feel so good.

My God, wait. Sorry, I'm just living in that reality. It would be so nice. Imagine if you died and you woke up and your apartment was the same. You lived the same life. But like – Could I have like one more bedroom in my apartment? Sure.

Okay. I don't care. You can move out if you don't like the place. Your lease is the same. Get out of it. Oh, okay. I just need a little more square footage but I don't want to pay that much more. I feel like also money is sort of like we're laughing about money in the afterlife.

Oh, okay. Cool. Amazing. Like we're like, oh. Right? Like some people prefer to still live somewhere with not too much space because sometimes that feels like a lot.

But you can live with a lot of space if you want. So it's more of a choice. I think, yeah, you have so much choice in the afterlife, which for me is a nightmare. I'll probably keep my exact same life. I can tell by the way that you're talking that you would keep your exact same life. It's just too much to... Well, imagine you get there

and they're like all right so fill out this form of everything you want the i'd be like they'd be like what meals do you want i'd be like i don't even know i'd be like chicken tendies oh my god what if it's a form you get to the afterlife there's a little receptionist desk it's like and they're like, oh. And they're like, welcome to death. And it's – they're gorgeous. They're sitting at a desk. Everything's so gorgeous.

It's like Swarovski's showroom. And light is glistening off of all the crystals. Skylight? Swarovski crystals. Yeah, obviously. But you off of all the crystals. Skylight? Swarovski crystals. Obviously. But you're also in the sky. So the sky's above and below you.

Skylight, sky floor. You know like a dance floor that's above a pool? Yes. That, but the sky. And you're like, wow. Oh my God. And they're like, and the person at the reception desk is being nice, but she's rude. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. But you like it a little bit.

Well, yeah. To me it's hot. It's honestly hot. rude. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But you like it a little bit. Well, yeah. To me, it's hot. It's honestly hot. She's like, welcome to death. And you're like, oh, thank you. And you're like, gorgeous here. And she's like, shh. And then I'm like, do I just go this way?

And she's like, no. Laughs at me a little. And then she's like, you just fill out this form, and it is stacks of paper. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Thick, thick, thick, thick. So, I mean, like, it would take a normal world time a year to get through. Whoa. But you fast forward in this life. Okay. And it is like, what foods do you want? Like, what foods do you want

to not exist? Like, you get to choose all that. Okay. It would take me, I would have such a hard time with that. But at the end of it, I think I would be better for it. Oh, God. I just built a perfect afterlife. I like that. And I really like elements of that. I really like what you're doing. I really like that.

I'm scared of it. Okay. That's totally fine. To be honest. But I'm thrilled by it as well but i just so because for example when i'm at for instance the movie theater i know this is a really hard subject for you because you don't like the movie theater i'm fine with the movie theater i just don't choose to go okay whatever but um when when i'm at the movie theater and it's like oh

maybe you're gonna get one candy this is like a huge thing like when i was a kid it's oh you're gonna get one candy i would stand in front huge thing. Like when I was a kid, it's like, oh, you're going to get one candy. I would stand in front of the candy. Fruit or chocolate. That's the question. Fruit or chocolate. I wouldn't know. I would get the weirdest candy imaginable.

I'd get the freaking snow caps or some shit. Ew. What? Because I had worked myself up into like a – I'm like, well, I always get a chocolate. And I never – I always want M&M's, but then I always get Skittles. You know, I would be freaking out. Yeah, the trick is to get something chocolate, put it in your popcorn, get something fruity, have it on the side.

Ooh, you put the chocolate in your popcorn? EJ. Oh, God. Great. We're already fighting. So I've decided that actually how I want this to work in the afterlife is – have you seen the show Made for Love? No.

No. I don't really watch TV. I do watch TV. Don't tell people that. Made for Love, good show on HBO Max. Oh. Right? Does anyone know?

It's Christian Milioti. Milioti. Milioti. Milioti. And then a lot of people I've never seen before and Ray Romano he's a great in it which I take, Ray Romano's talented nobody thinks this but Ray Romano deserves a career in entertainment

and I loved the show but part of it is like this guy who's like he runs sort of like a tech company sort of like a Google type of deal it's called Gogol. So they didn't really talk too much on that. Is that allowed? Yeah.

And he lives in sort of like a complex that is all made up of screens basically but not really screens, just whatever. And he can make any reality real there. And I think we all get to be in the same place. So you get to be around your loved ones but it's a different reality mapped out into your little squares. So what you're putting on your form is how your squares are going to show. But like for them, it's different so that you're all living in paradise, but together. Okay.

Because what if like the person, like people that you love are like, I really want this. And that's not what you put down on your form. You don't know that you're getting this form because you die at different times. Oh yeah. That's a good point. And then because of what you selected, like you're on a beach and they're in the mountains and you never get to see each other. No, you live in this little cube. Okay. There's no global warming because you're in a cube and the mountains and the beach

are the same place. Okay. I'm fucking brilliant. No, it's brilliant. But I'm also like, what if I'm splashing in the water? You can. The science is there. The science is there. The science is there. The science is there to allow me to splash in the water. Be splashing, I don't know, the person I'm in love with. Yeah, and they're feeling something different. And they're feeling what?

Me throwing snow at them if they're in the mountain? I don't know. I don't know, Shelby. I don't know. Casey, Tevi, do you like my idea? Can you weigh in, please? I like it. I think it's... It needs more baking.

No, but I like the idea that everyone kind of gets what they want, you know? And gets to be together. Yeah. Aw. Casey's afraid to take sides. Also, you can delete. You can... I just took Shelby's side.

No, I can tell you want to take my side. Also, on the form, you can be like, and if possible, keep me away from this person. Like, for me, I'd be like, I don't think I want to see Hitler. You know? I don't think you're in the same place. No, we've decided there's no hell. There's no hell. Well, then he's nowhere.

Oh, you're so right about that. He doesn't get to come. I did say that bad people get to be nowhere. Okay. So thank God. Oh, good for them. So he's not, we're not splashing in the water with Hitler. Unless you want to, and then maybe, I don't know.

I don't know. We have to talk to, then you're also nowhere. Yeah. If you are wanting to splash in the water with Hitler. Then do not, first of all, turn this podcast off. Second of all, you are nowhere. Mm-hmm. At the end of it all. Yeah.

Afterlife is empty abyss. So don't even think about splashing in the water with Hitler. Jeez, you guys. Guys, today we have an amazing, amazing guest. Today's guest is really something special. Oh my gosh. You know him from stuff like Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt, Black Monday, Jimmy Kimmel.

Jimmy Kimmel, The After Party. Amazing. I mean, what a freaking resume. Jeez. Host of podcasts, I Said No Gifts. Yeah. Incredible fun. We love him. You love him. It's Bridger Weininger. What?

Bridger. Oh, you too. It's so nice to be here. Welcome. Thank you so much. Welcome to the gorgeous studio where everything's clean and nothing is bad. It's sparkling. The chairs are comfortable.

You know what to do with your arms. And the temperature is exactly right my body is just where it needs to be oh my god I love to hear that people are always saying that and I love to hear it what the listeners don't always understand is that part of being on this podcast is an experience in being uncomfortable

the first 10 minutes of me being here was me kind of shifting back and forth and asking every person in the room if I was at the right place and then finally finding a pillow and putting it behind me. And it's just created a different type of problem. Oh, okay. Sure.

Sure, sure, sure. Great. When I, what I think, so people who like watch this on YouTube, they think all these people are so comfortable. And what they don't know is that every single person in here is a talented actor. It always has been. Just so natural and perfect. It feels like such a calm and cool environment where everyone is, first of all, chill.

Yeah. Temperature, energy. Yeah. And also the chairs and the couches, comfy, comfy, comfy, comfy. Oh, my God. So comfy. It's like being in your own home. Everyone thinks that.

Everyone thinks that. It's like a sofa commercial. Yes. These people were trained to sit in this sofa and look normal. And it's like, what you don't know is that that sofa is made of cardboard. Yeah. And it's a bunch of bricks are piled up under our bodies. So that's a little peek behind the curtain.

We love to do a little peek, yeah. So people can kind of know what we go through. Yeah, what the energy is in the room. I want you guys to feel like you're here. Yeah, exactly. So is in the room. I want you guys to feel like you're here. Yeah, exactly. So now you can picture that. That's what it's like. If you're in your own home,

get uncomfortable. Get uncomfortable. Go outside. Sit on a curb. Sit on the chair that is there for only looks. And really feel what we feel. Yeah, turn the heat up.

You know, rock out. Great. How's your week? What are you up to? What's new? What's happening? I finished a job like a week and a half ago and immediately flew into a tailspin of just doing nothing all day. I am so unproductive.

Just like even as far as enjoying myself goes. It's not like I'm lounging around the house and feeling good. It's just this constant limbo state of I should be doing something. But I'm not. Yeah. Even something I – watching a show I like. But it's not even that. It becomes a task.

Do you do – I do this. If I'm feeling like I don't want to actually do anything and I'm like I don't want to like focus on a show that I like, I will put on a show that I despise. I'll be like, this is bad to watch, but it is sound and it is action. Like I'm like, go ahead. I've been watching, this is mortifying to admit, I've been watching the old sitcom Baby Daddy. I've never heard of Baby Daddy. Well, that's because it's not well liked or respected. Where are you even streaming that uh hulu but it is it's sort of a show about a guy and he lives with his brother and his friend and a girl that he once had sex with has a baby drops it off at

him and now he has to take care of the baby shouldn't be doing that happens all the time shouldn't be doing here the baby is not set up for that kind of lifestyle. He doesn't even have a room. He's in bachelor mode, yeah. And then also there's a girl. This is the craziest part of the show to me that they don't talk about enough. There's a girl that is the love interest of both him and his brother, and they are constantly both hooking up with this girl. Oh, my God.

Wait, what year is this from? 2021? Could be recent, honestly. You guys won't believe this. There's like nine seasons. What? No, that can't possibly be true. Who's Baby Daddy?

Who plays Baby Daddy? I can tell you his name. It is a show. Weird, his career went nowhere. Oh, you know what? The Maori youngest. The brother Maori. the brother the brother Maori the brother Maori

yeah Tara Maori and her brother Taj I think he's in it okay this was his later like his second

yeah this was like his sisters were really living off of a lot of cash and he was like I still have to work and they were like just do a bad show that no one will watch

and he was like no problem nine seasons nine seasons I mean he was working he was like, I still have to work. And they were like, just do a bad show that no one will watch. And he was like, no problem. Nine seasons. Nine seasons. I mean, he was working. He was hitting the set. So that's what I do when I'm lazy. I watch a show that like, it's just a time waster.

You watch a show that you know you're the only person on the planet watching. Yeah. That's why this will not feed conversation. No. This won't. It won't improve my writing. It won't improve my writing. It won't improve my understanding of television. If anything, it makes it worse.

I'm like, wait, I could write a show about just about anything. I'm like, hold on, hold on, hold on. What if my exact life went a little kookier? And then, yeah, I let that sort of take up a lot of my time. How much of Baby Daddy have you watched? Well, I would hate to tell you the truth. Is it every episode? Have you seen Baby grow up?

Does Baby grow up? Or that would be interesting if Baby stayed the same age and everyone else was... Baby doesn't grow. It is so mortifying to admit this. I have already seen the entire series and I'm watching it again. I have to imagine that's probably like over a hundred episodes. At least. It is so truly like something I thought

I would die not ever sharing. I thought I would say like, oh, I'm watching it here and there. And then I would never tell the truth which is that I am now on my second watch of a series that I genuinely despise. I don't think it's funny. I don't think it's charming. But it's your medicine. Like you know it's like

I can't stop watching like a terrible show that just gives me nothing. It feels perfect to watch. It's like oh you know what I guess I'll just throw on Baby Daddy and do chores or something. Yeah. I mean we've all It's like, oh, you know what? I guess I'll just throw on Baby Daddy. A classic. A classic. And do chores or something.

Throw Baby Daddy on. Yeah. I mean, we've all been there throwing Baby Daddy on just to get stuff done. I've been there for the past week and a half and I did nothing. I could have finished the series. Even when we were starting Baby Daddy. Watch Baby grow. Watch Baby grow.

Now it's Baby's, like, child, you know? It's Daddy's teen. Child's teen. Daddy's child's daddy. Teen daddy. Teen daddy seems... Adult daddy. Teen daddy's weird. Off to college, daddy.

Watching baby get married, daddy. If they were to do a reboot and get her to college, I'm not a girl, I hope you're getting an education. Oh, my God. That's the baby's name, obviously. Obviously. Of course. He is a bartender.

His brother is a New York Ranger. Oh, okay. Well, that's a problem. Yeah. The Rangers are not supporting the money baseball players make. Right.

Yeah, you would think that they're really wealthy, but they live like they're squandering. You know, it is crazy. And they live like they're squandering. You know? It is crazy. And they all live in the same apartment building. Them, their mom, and the girl that they're all wanting to date.

That's, I mean, dangerous. That's real life. You know, like that's life. That's great. That's humanity. And on that note, I'm talking about sort of perfect television. Richard, we brought you here for a reason. Oh, you did.

Oh, my God. What's the reason? Richard, this is when you form kind of a concept of a podcast. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You're like, oh, I finally have the idea. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. What if we did this? Wait, instead of talking about bad TV, what if we talked about, hold on, hold on, I'm

onto something. I think I know what it is. My tongue, and this is going to make millions. It's going to be really good. People are going to listen. Look, we want to know what would you send to the aliens to tell them about what we're doing down here. Some of us are watching Baby Daddy.

If we needed to let them know what's going on here, what would you send up there? The concept of this podcast, and there is a concept of this podcast, obviously, that I'm aware of. I should be very honest. I'm aware of what the show is. Okay, thank you.

It's truly a sweet spot. We'd have to fire someone. As if I could fire someone. Please tell me. Just quickly catch me up. Who are you guys? Why am I saying? Just off mic, please tell me. Just quickly catch me on. Who are you guys? Why am I here? I know I said I'm not doing anything, but no.

Like the concept of this podcast is really a nightmare for me, actually. Yeah, and that makes sense. I agreed to be on it like a month ago. I was like, oh, initially it was like excitement. It was like rarely do you get to just talk about things that you like or whatever. But then there's like kind of an out on this podcast of like maybe you don't have to be sincere. Maybe you can – and then there's also another thing for me, which is like I really want to think about aliens. And so I've had a Google reminder once a weekend up until a few days ago of like you've gotta put aside some time

think about the month of anxiety for me i'm not kidding and i was working a job and i was thinking like what could my picks for the aliens yeah yeah that's my impression so uh the first thing and this was real thinking about aliens pig yeah okay no of course. Carol of the Bells. Are you too familiar with this song? In theory, yes. But I think we have it. No? Do we have it? Can we play it?

What's the deal? I feel like it's got to be public domain on some level. Oh, no. Because we're critiquing, we're allowed to play whatever we want. Oh, fantastic. Isn't that amazing? Well, because there is another song that I love that we're going to talk about later, and hopefully we get to listen to that. I can't wait for that one.

Yeah, for whatever reason, I was hopefully we get to listen to that. I can't wait for that one. For whatever reason, I was told we get to bypass the law. I've been told that many times. Okay. Oh yeah, big time I know this. This is the craziest possible version of the song.

Episode of New Girl really focuses on this song specifically. Is that true? One episode where they do the bells. Winston gets really into bells. That's a perfect show. I hate TVE. I want to work in it for the rest of my life and I hate every single thing about it. It's literally a horrible thing that we've done.

I was like, wait, no, this is an episode of New Girl. Yeah, I guess the episode is just that Winston likes spells and takes it a little too serious. And it's stuck in my head as something. Iconic song. It's an iconic song, and also I think maybe the scariest song ever written. I think it is. I mean, it's a iconic song and also I think maybe the scariest song ever written. I think it is. I mean, it's a Christmas song. Or a holiday.

I mean, it's kind of an all-purpose holiday song. I don't know that it focuses that much on Christmas, but it's so frightening. It really does send a chill down my spine. And so I was thinking, I've been reading a little bit about something called dark forest theory with aliens. Are you familiar with this? No, but please. The basic thing is just like we don't know what's out there. We're all kind

of in this dark forest that could be full of predators. You have to assume that they might want to kill you. You can't assume good intent with aliens. My big fear with everything we send up them is will this incite war? And so basically with Carol of the Bells, it's kind of a win-win situation because it is scary.

And like the aliens hear this and they're like, this is terrifying. We shouldn't go there. What is this? But if they, so then they come here and what, if they did have good intent, we can just be like, oh, it was a holiday song. Yep. You're overreacting. Celebratory. You're being crazy.

This is kind of a thing we put out in commercials for jewelry and stuff. No, no, no. Look at the kind of things that we're using this for. Right, right. So it's kind of a – that's not a two-edge – what is the thing with a sword? A double-edged sword. A double-edged sword. A two-edged sword.

An edged hatchet, which is a single-edged sword. And then there's the other swords that are two-edged. Yeah, classic. And that's also a single edged sword. And then there's the other swords that are two set. Yeah. Classic. I feel like this would protect, entertain, and also cover our bases should something good happen with aliens. And it's also like, I imagine aliens opening up and it's like, there are lyric versions of the song, which I think we just listened to and the lyrics are insane. It's like, listen to the bells. Yeah.

It's funny how song talking about the instrumentation, it's like if every song was about hear the guitar, or like here come the drums, now it's my voice. Now it's my voice. And drum, drum, drum. Those drums are coming

and you can't stop them. And drum away., drum. Those drums are coming and you can't stop them. And drum away. Wait a second. Wait a minute. Screw TV. I'm going into music. I literally wish. That song, listening to it in this context,

and you specifically saying it's scary, is so funny because I was like, wait, if this song I had never known as a holiday song and it played in a haunted house I would it would only be so scary no that's that's when we're there's reeds

and holly could so easily be like haunted angels dripping in blood you know completely completely to be honest I mean I'm not wrong right it is like a kind of frightening ominous song there's a lot I feel dripping in blood I mean I'm not wrong right it is like a kind of frightening ominous song there's a lot I feel like Christmas music

I mean is that a perfect yeah wait a minute um get her signed um Christmas music

can be really freaky and that's something that people don't talk about just generally like the vibes of sort of I mean look I'm trying to think of

a single Christmas song even like um I'm like silent silent of a single Christmas song. Even like Silent Night. Silent Night? Silent Night? That's such a scary theme. Silent Night? What are we talking about? Dead Nights?

I need night to be air conditioner on. White noise. Crickets. Sound of forest or something. Come of the fridge. Yeah. Something. You do not want silence at night.

That's a bad. Because then you hear everything. Again, that's space. That's the vacuum of space is what we're talking about. Not like the birth of Jesus. Someone said to me the other day like what they think space sounds like and it wasn't quiet. And that really messed me up. Wait, what were the sounds?

Were there animals? No, it was honestly like the Bells song. Well, I feel like somebody just released some audio wave of space that was mortifying. Yeah, it's like hollow and musical and horrible and bad to know that it exists. To me, when you leave our atmosphere. Game over. It's quiet time out there. And it's not.

Okay, well, now that I'm fully, like, got goosebumps. Great. Freaking out. I've also thought about this with Christmas. And I don't mean to turn this into a Christmas episode. It is August. it's 200 degrees. No, we didn't tell you it was Christmas yet. But I was thinking about, not recently, last Christmas, the potential.

I was thinking about All I Want for Christmas is You, objectively an incredible, like, everyone's on board with its song. Yeah. But I was thinking about there's the potential that somebody at some point in the future writes a song I mean that's better than that. I mean it's just like that could happen and it's crazy to think

what that possibly could mean for Christmas or any of us. Here's Mariah girl. Mariah girl. Mariah. She listens. Of course she does.

Huge fan. Huge fan. She comments. Mariah. She comments all the time. Really nasty things. She's like this was a good one. Really graphic stuff. She comments all the time. Really nasty things. She's like, this was a good one. Really graphic stuff.

She's downvoting. She's like. Really tough on us. Like, sending DMs that are like, this wasn't your best. Yeah. I mean. I think in a way that does hold us accountable and makes us strive for better. It's crazy how often we talk about her on this podcast.

She should listen. Uriah, we are screaming your name. Please. God, if someone out-Christmassed Mariah. I mean, I think that like certainly that's a possibility.

I think it's like a slim possibility. People are definitely trying. They do keep trying. You know, Kelly Clarkson's trying. Justin Bieber. Justin Bieber tried. Justin Bieber.

They're all giving it a shot. Didn't one of the One Direction boys do a Christmas song? I'm sure all of them did. Wait, wait. Grandpa? I wonder if you can play this. Grandpa? One of the One Direction boys.

Dixie D'Amelio made a Christmas song with Liam from One Direction. Can you play that? It's one of the worst things I've ever heard. I'm very excited to hear this. Dixie D'Amelio of TikTok. Oh, I'm aware. Pixie D'Amelio? Dixie D'Amelio. Dixie. I'm aware. Pixie D'Amelio. Dixie D'Amelio.

Dixie. Well, Dixie, there's room for a Pixie. I'm just saying there's room for a Pixie D'Amelio. There's definitely room for a Pixie. Well, that's not the song. This is part of the song. Also, like, weirdly. Oh, no.

Is it reggae? Okay, I love it. I feel beautiful listening to this. Hi. TikTok has ruined the world. I'll be the first to say it. Because I can see that you were cold. Oh, I'm looking at this video. Because I can see that you were cold. We just have'm looking at this video. Because I can see that you were cold.

We just have to get to the chorus. We have to get through this. Oh. Oh. Wait, what did they do to get them on the not- They killed someone. Now we're on the not- It must have been the way we killed.

He has never come back. We murdered him. It must have been the way he gets to say, never coming back, we murdered him. Must have been the guy we killed. Now we're on the naughty list. I mean, we might be on the naughty list for this podcast. So yeah, that one is big contender. That's a huge, I think that everyone's going to be listening to that. Just kind of a Mraz style. everyone's gonna be listening to that. Yeah. Just kind of a Mraz style... Last year we were new to it. People didn't

know to get on board. This year starting the campaign, it's a very Liam and Dixie Christmas. More like Dix-mas. And we're making that the song of the freaking season. I love it. I mean, yeah, I'm glad I brought this up because Mariah's been dethroned. Yeah, yeah.

She's kind of been shoved in the gutter in a huge way. It's crazy. By Liam, the least liked member of One Direction, and Dixie D'Amelio. The most famous person on the planet. Someone my mom couldn't name once if I tried. Who I failed immediately. If I rehearsed with her for a month, she would never remember her name.

Is Dixie exclusively a musician? Oh, she's got all kinds of talents. She's a model. Oh, right, right, right, right. She does it all. She's modeling. I would say triple threat. What's the third? Actress?

TikTok? TikTok. Actress, TikTok. Fuck, she's got so many dollars. It's hard to keep track. These are just off the top of our head. Right, I'm sure she can dance. I would say it's safe to say she can dance. Fuck, she's got so many dollars. It's hard to keep track. These are just off the top of our head. Right, I'm sure she can dance. I would say it's safe to say she can dance.

Oh, certainly. I saw a little like shaking in that video. And she was cold, remember? So she can act. And actress. Yeah, of course. She was cold. That soundstage was probably extremely hot.

They're famously hot. Yes. They keep those sweltering. The magic of television and also YouTube. Where you're finding this. That is like the crazy part're finding this that is like the crazy part of like all this

is like you never know what's going on in the world of what you're watching you know what I mean and so now we're talking about like TV and production

and things like that you never know so when you're watching TV you just don't know what's going on ever I have my experience a little tea a little tea

what am I looking at sex scenes not sexy to film no yeah um I think it's a perfect A little tea. A little tea. What am I looking at? Sex scenes? Not sexy to film. No. Yeah. I think it's a perfect thing to send because I do think it's a little haunting. If they did have sinister intentions, they might second guess. Yeah.

They can at least think about it for a minute. And be like, wait, they seem to have something brewing. These people are dangerous. And if they don't and they are also assuming good intent from us, they're like, hold on. What are these instruments? We knew guitar. We knew drum. Bell? What's this

ting ting ting? This ting ting ting? This ting ting ting? We gotta get down there and see the ting! And then... We're here for your tings. Give us the tings. We're here for your tings. Give us the tings.

We're like, what's going on ASMR? Excuse me? Tingles? What is the next item you would put on your records? Let's talk about. Okay, so we've sent kind of a threat. Threat, comfort. I sent a photo that I think might be worth looking at because this is the stage of confusion,

bafflement. Also, it's something I do think about on occasion which is like, it's a photo of me from some period in my life, probably like late elementary, early middle school. Okay, perfect time. Oh, here it is. There it is. This was when I

was in a ballroom dance troupe during kind of the height of the swing dance revival. So this is me probably 20 years from coming out. Surrounded. Absolutely surrounded by women. Four girls. Dripping in them. Absolutely dripping in women. Dressed as flappers.

Kind of flapper-esque outfits. They've got their hands up. Wide red tie, suspenders, full mouth of braces. Also dripping in swag. Dripping in hair gel. Probably hair gel on my forehead. Sure. And then I also remember from this photo shoot, I was wearing huge brown Doc Martens with my black pants and was mortified.

See, that's very hip now. But those are hidden. But basically, I mean, what... By the girls, yeah. Hidden by the girls. Hidden by the girls. By your girlies. So there are a few reasons I wanted to send this.

Yeah. First of all, it is interesting to me to think that there are probably undoubtedly other civilizations in the universe that, like, are dying to see life on other planets. Dying to, yeah. And would be so fascinated, like, that's an alien to them. That's, what, five aliens, me, and then the four girls I'm dripping in. If that was the only reference point for an alien civilization of life, they would find that that would be the most incredible thing they ever saw. I just, in my head,

recreated the image with, like, green slimy dudes. Or, like, not even dudes, just green slimy beings. Sure, sure. Gender neutral. And if that came to us from space, they were like, we found this. I'd be like, you're kidding. I'd be like, no, you didn't.

You made this up. That would make me stop believing in space. I'd be like, yeah, it's a projection. That's a projection. Aliens aren't real. There's no way that that's the thing we found. Keep trying. Keep trying.

We found aliens. No, we didn't. No, yeah, no way. I love this image. Keep trying. Keep trying. We found aliens. No, we didn't. No, yeah. No way. I love this image. I think it's perfect. I also feel like at the time, like, this picture was such a flex. Like, you were like...

I got it like that. Yeah. You know the weird photographer taking this probably was like, you know you know the weird photographer taking this probably was like you're a ladies man you know he said that to me he was like

which one's your girlfriend sign exactly he was like honey over here can you hang off of him a little more this is your

you're in love yeah and he's not giving you what you need but you want it. You know? Thanks. Old child.

Like, I was a gymnast, and just remembering, like, those photo shoots of being like, all right, and now the leg just up a little higher, like, reaching to the sky. Like, you're like, what's going on? Like, just take the picture. This picture is going nowhere. Like, my mom will have this picture, and she will not care how high my foot is. I promise. But Todd, the 42-year-old photographer, definitely cares. He's like, this is for the

website, honey. I need a new intro page. He's like, listen, sweetheart, this one's going on the web, so we're going to need you to do, you know, it's going to need to be a little bit better than what I'm seeing. It does got to be pointed. He's like, do you think we'd be able to Photoshop this one?

To his assistant. There's always an assistant. She's just doing the light. She's so uncomfortable with the whole thing. She's like, it's good. Turn it up a little, I guess. And you danced with all, were you the only? That's a good question.

Like, looking at that picture, I don't remember that – There was no dancing. Could we look at it one more time? I want to see if any of them were even my dance partners and they were not. They were. Now looking at it, I'm like my dance partner for some reason is mysteriously not in this photo. And seemingly some of them are really not your age. They look significantly older.

Now this is a surprise. They are all my age. They look significantly older. Now, this is a surprise. They are all my age, possibly younger than me. No chance. I'm not kidding. Bottom right. Bottom right, you're telling me, is it my age now? All my age, as far as I recall, I mean, none of them was like 30 years older than me.

That would be incredible. I mean, I did occasionally dance with our instructor when we were at a partner, and that was always a weird experience. But all my age, and I was like old for my grade. Which was sixth, you said? Yeah, this was like sixth, seventh grade maybe. The way the suspenders are almost coming off your shoulders. The way the one on the left is just leaning on you. She's like, we're friends.

Please be clear. This is my friend. She's like, we're buddies. Yeah. My back is touching his shoulder. And then the girl on the right was like, no, no. There might be something. Wow. there might be something it's wow

yeah I just feel like aliens this also gives like the most chaotic view of life on earth yeah there's no piecing together what's going on here

from that photograph right because you're like is this a family right which one of these people is in charge what are they

why are they all matching? And then, God, do I want them to see, like, a video of a gorgeous, gorgeous ballroom performance. Two zoot suit riots. They're like, no, wait a second. That's them? What's happening here? No, it isn't. Where's Carol of the Bells?

Why are they dancing to Carol of the Bells? At least one of those girls has done some level of jail time. I'm pretty sure. I'm not kidding. Girl, get yours. I get it. This has like, it's one of those things where I'm like, oh, I expect all the things that are exchanged galactically.

Whoa. I'm like all of it is like polished and like scientific. And for that to be there, it's like that's a bar mitzvah photo. That's the like casino-themed bar mitzvah with like the dancers they hire. And it's some like 13-year-old boy being like, yeah, these girls want me. Yeah, I'm a man now. Yeah, man in the Jewish community, which in a lot of ways is the community. Which is just my life.

Yeah. But yeah, I think that's more of what we should be sending Yes Agreed We don't need to be sending the best examples of us No Because they're going to be so upset Right

I mean They've already seen our Instagrams Like they've seen the highlight reel Yeah This is When they send like Olympic runners I'm like That is not who we are

No No That is such a small percentage. And none of us can do what they do. When we watch them, we're amazed. And when the aliens come to trap us thinking, oh, we'll have all these fast runners,

they're going to be so mean to most of us. Because I'm going to go 11 minute mile. Oh my god, 11? That's generous. It will be 17 minutes for me. And I will be like gagging. And then you'll be like, hold on. We saw this guy Usain.

And he was way different than you. Yeah, we have to lower the bar. Please. Please. Lower the bar. Listen, we're going to take a little breaky. And then we'll be right back. That was me throwing a break.

And we're back. Guys, you don't know this, but Anya's not here. We have Davi here. Yeah. And she's a really close friend. But when I'm loud in this which is something I want to do I can see

I can see her just go oh yeah yeah and Anya's learned I think almost can anticipate when I'm about to

make some noise yeah yeah Anya's like like that and Temmie goes yeah it's really sad to watch but that's just the truth of what's going on back here.

Again, another peek behind the curtain. I am horrifying our producers. Everyone's furious at Shelby. Bridger. Bridger. What is one thing that's like, you don't even want the aliens to hear about? Oh, God. Like you're like, keep this off.

Like this should be deleted altogether. We don't want to hear about it. Don't leave it. Get it gone. Yeah. Immediately. Yeah. Now.

Okay. So I do have one thing that I want to talk about, but there is also another thing. A list. A list. I'm like really revealing about how much I've thought about aliens' thoughts of us, which probably is just like how it reveals something about how I operate in general. I do think about that. Things outside of me. Almost constantly. What they think.

Oh, yeah, totally. Even humans. It's good to let it consume you. That's what I've found personally. Yeah, just nonstop, 24 hours a day. Yeah. Seeps into your dreams. Yeah.

So quickly, I do, do you guys ever think about like aliens getting here and like seeing our movies about aliens? How humiliating that would be? Would they be offended? Attack of the Martians? Is that the movie? Mars Attacks. Mars Attacks.

Okay, pretty close. Okay. Okay. Pretty good. Okay, wait. Okay, pretty close. Okay. Pretty good. Okay, wait, I was really close. That's so crazy. And I'm dyslexic, so everyone... Okay.

That's the title of Estonia or something. That's the translator. Mars Attacks, because... Is that... Why can't I think of the guy that I'm thinking of that's in it? No? Guy actor. So just any male actor? No, he's in it? Tim Burton. No. Guy actor. So just any male actor?

No, he's in it. He's in it. No, what? Who is in it? He plays two characters in Mars. Well, maybe I'm thinking of the wrong movie. Here's Brosnan's in it. Tom Jones has a cameo.

I'm thinking of the wrong movie. Are you thinking of War of the Worlds? War of the Worlds, Tom Cruise. You're thinking of E.T. Am I thinking of Attack of the Martians? Well, there are only three alien movies. No, I'm thinking of Mars Attacks, but I think in my head I was thinking of Mars Attacks, and I have combined it with another movie. The way that we have depicted them, this is messed up.

Let me see this. I mean, in our defense with that particular movie, if aliens came here and said, that's insane, what are you doing? I would say this is obviously satire. Yeah. This was a joke. Right. Clearly a joke, you morons. Yeah. Give me a shot of that.

If they saw Predator or Alien E.T., War of the Worlds. One of these things where we're really taking it seriously and we 1,000% miss the mark. There's no question. Pure humiliation. I want them to have such chunky hands. Why would you say that? Well, all of our depictions of aliens have long, bony fingers.

We're always like, aliens? Well, get the boniest, skinniest little hand we've got. The props department is like, let's stretch this. And I'm like, what if they're just short little, like, this is what their hands look like. Like a paddle or something. Ooh, I like a paddle.

They're like, hey, how's it going? And we're like, whoa! That was not what we expected. If they came by and had like chubby little, nubby little hands, I'd be like, listen, whatever you've got going on, we did not correctly think through. Yeah, that is interesting to think about the length. They're always long, thinny. And also like often their bodies are just kind of long.

Well. Parts of their bodies are long and skinny. Yeah, I mean, he had, like, a really short, stacky head, but a skinny little body. Right. What's his body? Is it kind of emaciated? I think it's sort of a pear shape. Right.

Kind of, like, skinnier than – And my head is always wrapped in a blanket. Like a big ass. Yeah. Oh, God. He's a chilly boy. Oh, he's cute, honestly. I really hope they look like him.

But I feel like they'd be like, that is not who we are. Yeah. They open the door, I'm sorry, that is not. That's me? That's supposed to be me? Yeah. It's like when you get a caricature done and it looks like nothing, like you're just so mean. And you're like.

That was $25? Yeah. What? I'm like, hold on, that was supposed to, I just sat mean and you're like that was 25 dollars yeah like hold on that was i just sat here and you do that that's them about our movies they're like hold on you've had ages yeah i mean how long have you guys been around they're like so long it seems yeah and that's what you came up with right okay well i guess you didn't think that much about it and people are like no we thought a lot like, we couldn't stop thinking about it. Yeah, constant. I don't like the aliens with the big black eyes. Oh, sure, kind of the haunted, like, almost inky pools.

Yeah, I hate the inky pools. I hate them. Is there any reason that we've chosen those characteristics? That's a good question. That's what I'm wondering. Is it like an environmental response? Do we think that the light stuff would be different? Are we like, no, they have to have black eyes because of the way that the light

Like proximity to the sun? Is that what you're thinking? No, like that when they get here like their light is so different that they're like, no, our pupils get huge. Their eyes are like tinted windows. So EJ, you're thinking

that the blackness is like a sunglass. Could be. And Shelby, you're thinking that it's a pupil that's like it's too bright. Yeah, I'm thinking that their eyes are the exact same as ours, but the pupils are huge. Too dim, right, so we've got to let as much light in as possible. They're usually like, their spaceship is the brightest lights we've

ever seen. And they're like, ah! So when they get out of their spaceship, it's just kind of like, like they're on a ton of drugs. You know what they say is, your pupils get really big when you see something you love. That's exactly what's happening.

They love us. They really love us. They might just be really happy to see us. They're just so in love. They're like, oh, you guys are just as we imagined. They have really long eyelashes. So they see our depictions of them, and then they show us their depictions of us, and they're so good. Perfect.

They have a picture of every one of us. And this one's EJ. I'm like, that's me. It's the have a picture of every one of us. Yeah, they're like, and this one's EJ? EJ? I'm like, that's me. It's the best picture you've ever seen of yourself. It's drawn, hand-drawn. Hand-drawn with colored pencils. An artist is giving it to you.

The artist. You really see me. That's what you say to them. Yeah, like it feels like it really shouts your personality. Right. Like you're like, whoa. I'm like surrounded by things I love. And they're like, and you guys drew this.

That's awesome. And it's the Mars attacks, guys. They're like, no, it seems like an even trade. Yeah, no problem. And now we start war. And that's the war. It's you like coming home from first grade and be like, mom and dad, I drew a picture of the family. And they're like, that's a square with like four lines coming out of it.

And you're like, but I can tell which one I guess would be dad. He's the big one. No, he's the one walking the dog. Who's this other person? Well, that's the babysitter. You're like, what's going on? You're like, she made it in? Anyway.

We should delete them because I actually think, to me, that would start war. They would be like, come on, give us a little bit of credit. Absolute losers. I'm way better looking than that. I mean, I will say the thing I really derailed the conversation with this, but the initial thought of deleting was children pitching on Shark Tank. Which famously brings me to a complaint I've had all day. People are sick of me talking about it, but it's the corn kid.

What's the corn kid? Thank God. Someone has mental peace. Someone gets to know peace in this world. Can you shut this down before I learn? There's a kid who likes corn, and it's really taken over. Oh, no.

He's adorable. And he really is so cute. My hate is not at him. I love him's adorable. And he really is so cute. My hate is not at him. I love him and I hope he has a happy life. Yeah. I just hope it's out of what, I don't want him to be involved anymore.

He was on video being like, I like corn. And now he's doing ads for RX Bars. He's on Cameo. How? In what time span? Literally a day. A week.

What? This kid blew up. Now he's, I mean, gonna have a career in corn. What? And I'm like, he doesn't even probably like that in three years. Don't your taste buds change? I'm like, get out of here with commodifying this little

angel. How old is he, do you think? Seven. Okay, so he's at that stage where you like a food so much you eat it to the point that you throw up and then don't eat it ever again. Absolutely. And I mean, the things that he likes about it, I gotta say, don't make a lot of sense. He's like, no, I like the grease. You're like, what are you talking about?

He likes the grease. You like butter, babe. Yeah, he's also at the age where, I don't know if you guys did this, he might take a stick of butter and eat just that. I did, but my brother did. Yeah, well, every family has one. Shout out, Merrick. You really were eating butter, boy. So he just was on TikTok or something talking about corn.

Yeah, there's like a guy who does videos with like kids. Yeah. I think he works with them like in some capacity. He's like running some sort of farm where he just has kids talk about things they like and one occasionally goes viral. He's just kind of like doing interviews and he's cutting them together. All the kids are cute and they're all weird in the way kids are. And they're like, they'll be like, I love drugs. And he's like, what do you like about drugs?

And they're like, vroom vroom. And then like hippopotamus hippopotamus jump in the water. And you're like, what is happening? And then this one kid didn't derail from his point, which I think is why people liked him, honestly, is that he was just like, corn, corn, corn, corn is good, corn is great. Yeah, a little hyper-focused.

Okay, sure, sure. Almost like made a deity of corn. Okay. Respect. Corn God. Yeah, Corn God. Corn God. I don't think he'd like the band, but he does love the food.

And people were just like, oh, my God. And now they're doing more interviews with this kid about corn. He's on Cameo about corn. He's doing ads for RX Bars, which I'm told haven't seen them. But that he's like, there's no corn in it. And I'm like, let this kid have peace. The brand's just waiting in the wings for these kids. It's just horrifying.

Yeah. And so for me, kids shouldn't also pitch on Shark Tank. It is the same thing. It is the same thing. Except for the kids on Shark Tank aren't even accidentally cute. They come on with their horrible little pitch. And it's so annoying already to see an adult do it. Then you know that an adult is behind this.

It's weird to watch. And the kid is so, like seeing a kid in love with capitalism is so strange. They're like, I just need a little bit of money to make this business sing. I want 45 employees by the end of the year. You're like, what? Yeah, it's creepy. And they won't get benefits. They get really intense. They're like, this isn't your normal startup.

We aren't going to be a family. We're going to be a business. I've been to see a seven-year-old talk about subscriber rates and this sort of thing. It's horrible. I hate you. We're moving units. Yeah, exactly.

The initial profits. I'm not even good with the terms on Shark Tank that these kids are just snapping off. I know. And you just know that there's a parent behind the curtain going, I'm talking about the brothel. Right. And frequently not even behind the curtain.

They're just standing behind them with this stupid grin on their face. It's just like, look at this animal I trained. They're like, when I was little. They're still little. I would not stop knocking my bowl off my table. Right. And you're like, okay, normal.

And then they're like, so we put suction cups on the bottom of my bowls. No more spilling. So, after years of making this absolutely work perfect, we have this prototype. And it's like, literally a bowl with suction cups. I'm sorry, if that's not a

real product, that's actually an incredible idea. Yeah, wait. Honestly, Mark. Have you pitched that to anyone? Mark, Mr. Wonderful, the other two. Name them. Lori. Say her name.

It's Lori and Barbara. Barbara. I think she's my favorite, and I forgot her name. I love Barbara and Lori. I recently learned that Lori Greiner used to be Lori Greiner. Changed her last year. To be a little bit flashier? This is speculation, but I'm pretty sure for show business, she went from Greiner to Greiner.

I do think that makes sense. It makes perfect sense. No one wants a Greiner. I'm like, ugh, but Greiner? Ooh, so fancy. Beautiful, yeah. Anyway, the suction cup bowl. No one take that.

No one take that idea folks that's a real bit I'm not I'm genuinely I'm not this is not a bit I think that's a good idea

you said it's already been made oh it has did you want me to have fun at all was it a shark tank product I miss Anya I miss Anya I miss Anya I'll say it

Anya if you're listening I don't think you are Anya if you're listening first of all text me. I really love you, girl, right now. And that's how I'll know. You would never text me that after the blue.

And I'll know you're listening. But, girl, right now in this moment, I really miss you. Anya, I just want to say personally for me, I also miss you too. Because though I know you probably would also shut down my idea, you didn't get the opportunity. No, it is literally Tuffy's job today to tell me that I can't start a new business.

Yeah, kids shouldn't be pitching businesses. Kids shouldn't run businesses. Kids shouldn't be on TV. No, never. I think I saw a kid who was making bows that you put in your hair, and I was like, I'm not trying to be mean, but go to Michael's and buy a ribbon. When it's something like that, or it's like, we have t-shirts. It's like, okay. Shirts, sodas, everywhere.

You are taking up five minutes of my TV time. It needs to be a more novel product. You're supposed to be a kid with the most creative mind. Kids are supposed to be so creative. If you're going to pitch me something, make it something an adult mind can't even attain. We're too short-sighted

to see what you see. But ribbons in your hair? Honey, baby, you thought of that because we already put it in your hair. And you were like, I want more.

Don't act like that was your idea. That wasn't your idea. That was your mom's idea. And it wasn't even her idea. She wore them. It was her grandmother's idea. Yeah, you're the heir to the ribbon throne. It's obviously a generational tradition.

It's the most beautiful tradition we have on Earth. Putting ribbons in young children's hair. It's cute, first of all. Yeah, I don't want, I don't also, because then you have to think at some point they need employees. If the business actually does well. And I don't want, um, I don't also, cause then you have to think at some point they need employees.

If the business actually does well and I don't want an adult working for a kid. Right. Those kids becoming someone's boss. Yeah. It's like a seven year old being like, uh, we're going to have to do layoffs. It's like, no. Chilled out my spine. If someone two years younger than me is my boss, I'm like, my self-confidence is shattered.

I'm like, go back to school. But if I got laid off by like a 10-year-old, game over. Yeah. It's game over. Launch me into space. Yeah. Absolutely. Get me up there.

I'm done. I'm selling plasma. I'm doing something else. I'm not involved in – I'm selling all of my plasma. Empty me out and bury me. I'm going to a doctor and saying, how quickly can you drain me of all my blood? Just into a sewer grate or something.

I don't care. I don't care where it goes. And you can use it great. If not, I'm sorry, but you're going to have to take it out anyway. Isn't that what they used to do to old patients? You know what I'm talking about? For sickness and stuff where they would be like, let's get this bad blood out of you? Yeah, like in early medicine days.

I said it's bad blood. They would drain you of your blood and then put it back in. With like leeches and stuff. Yeah. I mean, that might be even better. I saw someone putting leeches on her neck on TikTok the other day. I hate that website. That's just horrible.

App. Website. Website. Whatever. Dot app. What is it? Dot IO? Is that what apps are?

I don't know, man. Is that true? I'm pretty sure. Oh, wow. I've never known that. I think they are. That is so smart, Shelby. It's so cool that you would reveal that.

Someone's going to tell me I'm wrong. These listeners are out of their minds. One of them is going to be like, actually, IO stands for whatever it does stand for. IO. Have you scared to tell me now? whatever it does stand for. IO. Can't be scared to tell me now. Oh, got some confusion. No. Don't be scared.

Nobody quite knows. Type TikTok.io into a web browser and see what happens. Computer blows up. It's just a bunch of pictures of BT. She's like, what did he look like? Wait, what was his body like? It has nothing to do with this. She's just like, I think he look like? Wait, what was his body like? Honestly, it has nothing to do with this.

She's just like, I think he's kind of hot. Bridger, what is next on your records? Okay, so we did Carol of the Bells. We did a photo of me. Something I want to talk about that I genuinely love. So part of the problem with me coming on this podcast was like the initial thought of like, finally, I'll get to talk about things I like to talk about. And I think for that to ever actually happen to me, just do it sincerely, the podcast would be like, please

just tell us things you like. That would have to be the title and the theme because I've obviously kind of avoided it so far. But one thing I want to talk about is a video game called Wave Race 64, which is perfect. And I would send this to space for a number of reasons.

First of all, to entertain. This really would be something, a little treat for the aliens. Yeah, you're giving them the system to play it on, I imagine. Well, I don't know if I'm going that far. Okay, well it's just hard for them to be entertained by it if it's just sort of a CD. Is it a GameCube or? Nintendo 64. It had a sequel on GameCube

called, and I'm happy to talk about this as well, Wave Race Blue Storm. Lesser known. Wave Race 64 is a little moreube called, and I'm happy to talk about this as well, Wave Race Blue Storm. Oh. Lesser known. Wave Race 64 is a little more well-known, but I'm really trying to get the word out again because I want them to make another. Okay. So part of my thing of sending it to space would be like, it would be all over the news. They're sending all this new stuff to space.

One of these things is Wave Race 64, and everyone would be so curious that they would have to go buy it or, as I'm now doing, playing it on the Nintendo Switch, which it's available on. This is not a paid advertisement. I have a Switch. I can play this now. It's there. It's so delightful. But let's say we send it to space just as the software. It's probably on a Nintendo 64 cartridge or, well, I don't know.

We put it on the record. We don't know. That's what I think of the cartridges. well, I don't know. Put it on the record. We don't know. That's what I think of the cartridges. Yeah, blowing it into it. You're doing an absolutely silent. So for the audio listener,

Shelby is... Here, I'll do the sound effect. Yeah. Hey, Chubby. Does this sound good to you? You've just got to blow a little bacteria into the cartridge.

It's an organic process. Life breeds life. I love that saying. But I like the idea of not sending the system because then there's some scientist on an alien world that's like, we've got to figure this out. We have to get into this. Eventually they will figure it out. And then after years of work

and all of this it's a game about playing a jet ski or like riding a jet ski around like you're one of four characters one in a woman in a very like high cut one piece uh swimsuit yeah we're talking let's see some hot stuff oh Oh my god. Wait, how high can we... Sorry, you can't say stuff like that anymore. But no, I think it's such a perfect video game. So this is really a dual purpose

for me, where it's like, yes, imagining sending it to space. In that scenario, Nintendo's like, okay, we've dragged our feet too long, let's make a new one. Smaller scale, me talking about it on a podcast, let's be honest, Mariah's listening. I feel like we've

talked about a number of celebrities listening. That's the thing about our podcast. Almost exclusively celebrity audience. We wish we could get normal people to listen. They refuse. We want to talk to listen. They refuse. We want to talk to the average. A lot of our conversation is too highbrow.

It's kind of a class thing. We're pretty classist. And we really only want to talk to the people that are in our tax bracket. Which is to say, I work a day job still. My tax bracket is pretty medium. I've seen your filings. and Shelby is blowing us all away. Yeah. Along with, you know, the big wigs at Nintendo.

Yeah. Dave Dobbins, for sure, for kicks. Mr. Nintendo, yeah. Yeah, Mr. Nintendo. He's such a nice guy. Oh, my God, I love him. So different at work, though. Yeah.

Like, so different at work. That's the crazy thing. Oh, my God. I hate when, like, he'll, like, call me in his office, and then later we'll get drinks, though. Yeah. Like, so different at work. That's the crazy thing. Oh, my God. I hate when, like, he'll, like, call me in his office, and then later we'll get drinks, and he's, like, so cool. I know. He's, like, really loosened up with a couple beers, like, whatever.

Well, he really separates those two things, and I think that's what makes him so good at his job. More of a balance. Yeah. Yeah. Something I don't have. Absolutely not. I'll work, no play. But, yeah, this is just me really trying to beat the drum of Wave Race 64

in any platform. What is the goal of the game? Yeah, I'm glad that so far we've talked about this and have basically only given the title,

talked about one character and they're on jet skis. Well, but one character is pretty hot. Yeah, she said the little whoo-hoo-hoo. Why wouldn't we

talk about her I wish we'd never stop talking about it. And I do have to back up. I know everybody's kind of hot and bothered right now, but she's actually in a wetsuit. So it looks like it's kind of a one-piece bathing suit over a wetsuit. Oh, my God. That's so even hotter.

That actually is hotter. Honesty is one of the hottest things you can have. I always say that. She's planning for the, whoa. She really is wearing a bow. We've got a picture of Miss Gorgeous. She's actually. You can't even see her face, to be honest.

You guys won't believe this, but not a single centimeter of skin. She's got a little bit of hair. That's like her vibe, though. She is so crazy like that. For all we know, that hair is part of her helmet and it's not even part of her body. That's the most likely. She's really keeping it under wraps

for Wave Race. She's a cool girl. I think that's a cool thing to do. Me too. She could be sent to space in that outfit. Modesty is one of the hottest things you can have. Again, we go back to the Christian element of this podcast. This is a really fun little Christian little pod. The game is you don't get on it. You're basically trapped on the jet ski until you fall off you're stuck

and you race around the courses and you're relaxed the waves are dashing you about the music is fantastic it's like a very like I think the game

was released in 96 so it's like a very midi based soundtrack which is very synthesized and like fake guitars fake everything so relaxing but also

heart pounding thrills yeah thrills thrills heart-pounding thrills. Yeah. Thrills. Thrills. I'm not kidding. Thrills.

Thrills. Yeah, non-soft thrills. Have you ever wanted to get on a jet ski? Well, we've got one better. Sit on your couch where you're the most comfortable and watch someone else jet ski around and go fast. Have either of you ever been on a jet ski? Yes. No. Oh, what?

Really? Okay. I think you two need to talk about this maybe off-pod. Have you gone on one? Yeah. Oh, yeah. Okay, so everyone's been on a jet ski? Yeah. Oh, yeah. Yeah, I've been on a jet ski. This is my favorite game. You think I haven't tried it in real life?

SSX Tricky is half the reason I started snowboarding. I was like, yeah, I gotta get on a board You snowboard too? You guys This is the end of the show Last episode but we loved it It was so fun while I lasted

No yeah I used to teach it You can't bring up SSX in front of me I could talk for four more hours That would have been another choice for me. SSX Tricky was a bane your game. It was so good. But I literally think half the reason I switched from skiing to snowboarding was to be like, I've got to get on a board.

I'm ready to do my tricks. They're really doing what they do best. And I cannot fly the way they can. Oh, who could, though? No one. Absolutely no one. I mean, another perfect video game though. Exactly.

Another, and again, sending that to space would allow the creators to maybe think twice about not making another. Right. I mean, they made a couple after that, which were also great, but it's been years. It's been years. I think it was like a famous person recently talking about on Twitter, like a famous – I can't remember who it was. Sean White, the corn guy. No, someone actually cool.

It was like bring back SSX. And I was like, this is my person. Wow. And then I forgot who it was. Yeah, yeah. Seems like they meant – There we go. I used to like the Tokyo level for anyone that's listening.

And it's like, what level did she like? Tokyo. Tokyo is a great course. That was a great course. You guys are speaking in tongues. You haven't played either of these games. No. What was the last?

What video game have you played? I used to get crazy on Halo. Oh, wow. Okay. So now you've alienated both of us. Yeah, it's such a different vibe. To be honest, I was playing it when I was kind of young because I had an older brother and then I started getting nightmares

and so I had to stop. Scary game. It's really scary. It's an embarrassing depiction of aliens. So true. We haven't even talked about Halo. Oh, God.

And I think that's we're at war in that. Oh, yeah. It's a war with the aliens. A real bad picture of humans versus aliens. Oh, it's gruesome. They shan't see it.

It'll be dumb if they see it. Do not show that. No one send that up there. Please, please, please. Please, I beg. We already have Wave Race 64, and I will clearly say the title just so people know. Yeah. It's Wave Race 64. SSX Tricky. Wave Race 64.

64. 64. Wave Race Blue Storm, SSX Tricky, SSX 3. Also a perfect video game we have to talk about these things if we want to manifest and that's what I'm learning thank you for saying that

we have to put it out there in any platform yeah I like I like that it's one fun for them I hope they can figure out how to play it two

I think it's also fun for them to know like we can jet ski you're giving them some insight into what we're capable of. Right. Look at this amazing thing they do. And we're having fun. Not everything about us is hard.

Yeah, they're like, you've got a playful side. Yeah. They're dancing with the girlies. They're jet skiing around. This is fun. We're having fun down here. Right, right. That's important to remind them of, yeah, the fun that we had.

Sorry, I'm just stressed out about all the things I didn't know about Shelby. Follow them a halo on top of it. EJ and I are going to have like a dinner or something. Or I'll just list my qualifications as just like a person. It's so intense. What is the next thing on your records? I feel like this might be the last thing, and I can't remember,

but this is another perfect thing on your records? I feel like this might be the last thing, and I can't remember, but... Time perfect. This is another perfect piece of media, which, like this one, I was like, if I'm going to be on a podcast where they can apparently play music, they're just bypassing legal barriers somehow. All powerful. Yeah, the law can't stop us, baby. Oh, and they tried.

I mean, I was very tempted to have it be all songs, because I, you know, how often on a podcast do you get to hear a song that's like not the theme song? Yeah. Good point. So this is Drop the Pilot by the musician Joan Armatrading. Perfect. Perfect song.

Perfect piece of music. Yeah. I feel like I'm in an 80s teen drama. Oh my God, it's amazing. But I just got pretty. Yes, that's it. I'm walking into school and I just got pretty. You just got pretty. Yes.

And it's like everyone's turning like, what? You're like, is that? That everyone's turning like, what? Like, what is that? That can't be that ugly girl. You're letting her down. She's pretty now. And I'm walking. I know it too.

Oh my God. Yeah, you know it. Yeah. You cannot listen to this song and not be absolutely on top of the world. Yeah,

everyone, people are spilling drinks. I mean like, yeah, like spit takes. Your bully is like dying, literally dying in front of you and just working out in the biggest way possible. Yeah, and then the teachers are, like, changing my grades to A's. I was ugly, but I wasn't smart.

And that, everyone thought I was. I was ugly. So unfair. But I was not smart. Totally. Double whammy. Now I'm hot and not smart. But my grades, they're going to look good.

Oh, we get graded for this for this episode in the show oh oh you failed um okay so EJ

you had heard this song before yes I yeah okay Shelby had you heard this song before I don't know I don't think that's okay

no it's okay there is a fact I don't think I had heard this song until earlier this year, and it came across my desk randomly and is such an immediate hit where it's just like, there's nothing wrong with this. Anyone who doesn't like this is a complete loser and is incapable of doing anything.

Agreed. And I was making a playlist called Get Your Purse, We're Leaving, and this felt like the perfect, perfect theme for it. doing anything. Agreed. And I was making a playlist called Get Your Purse, We're Leaving. And this felt like the perfect, perfect theme for, I mean, it felt just like it went into it in such an ideal way.

Yes. That sounds like an epic playlist. It's not even done. I put so much pressure on this one that it's like, every, you're talking about I just need your tasks.

I want to get yourself to finish it. The last one. You're like, no, I'm making it so that it will get done. Yeah. It will never be done. It might be one, you know, good art is never done.

Wow. Thank you for that. This is billionaire mindset. Thank you. If you want to be a billionaire, you got to have a billionaire mindset. And you have to know that art, good art, is never done. You have to have a project that you never finish. Because once it's finished, then what?

It's going to suck and you're going to fail. You need to keep up with the times. Good art is never finished. Good business is never finished. That's actually true. Make an infographic, put it on Instagram. It's going through the roof. Again, Mark, Lori, Barb, Mr. Wonderful.

Hit me up. Yeah, please. I'm ready to run a business. Damon. Let's not forget Damon. But they rotate then, right? There's only four. How many are there?

I feel like that's the core. Then they have like the kind bar guy. Yeah. And then a bunch of people. Recently, Kevin Hart was on there. I was like, what? Kevin Hart? I don't believe.

He's a shark? Yes, he's very good at making Kevin Hart? I don't believe. He's a shark? Yes, he's very good at making money, but I don't know that he's a shark. No, if you're going to get a celebrity to be a shark, make it Shaq. Shaq is a shark. He runs so many franchises. Yeah. King, king, king. I love Shaq.

Has he been on Shark Tank? No, but I love the guy. Shaq Tank. He's busy. That feels like a college humor video from 2013. Barb. Talk to me, please! I have ideas out the wazoo for you guys.

You go on to the show to pitch guests. I'm like, alright, walk with me here. Sitting next to you is Shaquille O'Neal. And up until that point, they have not noticed this seven-foot-tall man. He's sitting there, arms twiddling his thumbs, just so nervous. Quiet as a mouse. Like a kid going to his first day of school. He's like, and I'm like, he is nice.

He's like, yeah, I'm nice. He's nodding. He's like, yeah, I'm pretty nice. He's smart, right? Aren't you smart? Yeah, I'm pretty smart. And he's got a lot of experience. And he's like, I mean, I've done a couple of things.

He carries me out like a little baby. Oh, very cute. You should do that soon. He's listening. Obviously, it's his circles. But yeah, Shaq, call me. We should do that. That would be so funny.

He would literally love it. What were we talking about? The song. Joan Armatrading. I feel bad that we forgot because the song is perfect. It's amazing. Joan Armatrading. She's incredible.

She's a lesbian powerhouse. Yeah. And it occurred to me on the way over here how gay the record I was sending to Space was. Like, Wave Race is pretty, is not straight by any means. No, because I feel like it was a game maybe geared towards, well, anyone. But they took the sexuality off the record by clothing them in a way that they were like, this is for the love of the game. Yes, you will have no thoughts. They were like, if you're a boy boy playing this you are not horned up.

Let me be clear about that. There's a girl on the ski but she is not your type. She's no one's type. She's so alone. She's amoebic. She's basically a Power Ranger

although they sort of had some sexuality. Yeah. I mean the helmets came off. I'm not going to say I wouldn't look like a Power Ranger. And you knew what was going on under there because you saw them, right? Yeah. I mean, the helmets came off. I'm not going to say it wouldn't look like a Power Ranger. And you knew what was going on under there because you saw them, right?

Yeah. Under there. Under there. Yeah. Funny as hell, yeah. We saw what was going on under there. Oh, we saw. Yeah, we were also talking about your playlist and how good art is never done.

Oh, yeah. Which I stand by. Is it public? Have you already published it? No, this one's not public. And now I'm talking about it here and it's, I mean, that's like the ultimate tease for these celebrity listeners. They're all like frantically searching Spotify.

They're talking to the regents. Please, please get me access. I will take an early look. I know it's not done. I just want to. It would be crazy if we weren't lying this whole time and like we got seven emails that were like it was like it was like Carrie Underwood requesting access to your

playlist Carrie Underwood what a random person to ask to listen to it I mean Carrie Underwood is kind of in the running for one of those Christmas songs

I feel like she's probably trying she's definitely trying I think she's gonna fail in a big way because she's gonna go too far she's gonna go too country

the Christian direction yeah she's gonna go too south too south. Too south. Girl. There's a market. But it's not the whole market.

No. Yeah, it's not universal. Yeah. You got to do what Mariah did, which is just like, I want you. This is something for Amal. And just wear a Santa hat. Wait. I don't care about other stuff.

It's you. To circle back to Mariah or, you know. If you can. to revisit Mariah. Just out of curiosity, one more thing about the playlist. Is Fantasy by Mariah Carey on that playlist? It's not. Okay. No worries.

That's cool. I mean, that feels like another, like a sequel that's like catching up 10 years later to this playlist. We grabbed our purse. We left. Right. And now we're back. And we forgot a couple of things a couple of years ago. I left my wallet on the table. And so now we're back. And we forgot a couple of things a couple of years ago. I left my wallet on the table.

And so now I'm back. I left my wallet on the table. That's not a bad idea, a title for a playlist. I left my wallet on the table, and it's just songs that are a little tepid. Yeah, and being kind of mad at yourself. Yeah, it's like slightly angry. It's a little awkward. You're a little embarrassed.

Can I ever get anything right? Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck're embarrassed anything right fuck so embarrassing i sorry about that and then the awkward like would have would have been hard to go without this one being like oh can you imagine the like safe face in any way possible you're like oh that would have been a doozy and everyone's like oh get out of here yeah I mean my ID's in there

we know you're falling apart don't act like this is the first time oh what would I do without all my money what would I do without all my money

another good point oh yeah what would I do without all my money that's fun for your listeners especially yeah what would I do without all my money another good point oh yeah what would I do without all my money that's fun for your listeners especially yeah what would you guys

hey their lives are so hollow right so empty they should look at that well listen Bridger Bridger while they do that

this was a perfect record I think it's fun I think they're gonna first of all understand homosexuality which is a good finally

I've been begging them to get it. And I send them emails after email being like, gay is this. And they're like, we don't really. Gay is this. Love is, love is, love is. Yeah, and they're not getting it for some reason. It's okay. Love is, love is, love is, love is, love is, love is.

Shelby at Target.com. And they're like, okay, but what is it? And I think that this helps. I think it's a perfect record. Yeah. I mean, no notes from me. Thank you. Yeah, it was stunning.

I was, I mean, I can't wait for them to get it and for us to hear the responses. Yeah. They're coming down for this one. Right. They're coming down and they don't know. Why? How or why? Yeah. Thank you so much for coming on. Thank you. I had a're coming down and they don't know why. How or why. Yeah.

Thank you so much for coming on. Thank you. I had a wonderful time. I had a wonderful time. And this room, if you can believe it, 60 degrees hotter

than when we got in here. I am. Every part of my body's wet. Yep. My shirt is stuck to me. We didn't talk about it enough because you guys are sick of me talking about it.

But it's hot. Hot, hot in this room. Anya, if you're listening, apologize. Anya. Just kidding. You're not here. Hope your mom's good. She's with her mom.

She's with her mom. I don't know. It just feels really random that you said hope your mom's good. It's like in the hospital? No. It's her birthday, I think. Oh, okay. In the hospital?

Happy birthday. No. See that? It's her birthday in the hospital. And I hope the nurses are treating Happy birthday. No. See that? It's her birthday in the hospital. And I hope the nurses are treating her good. No. We love Anya and her mom.

Anya. Okay, bye. Bye. That was a Hidgum Original.