Keeping Records - Head Trauma Slay! (with Sarah Ramos)

Episode Date: February 11, 2022

This episode is mostly Caleb and Shelby singing along to their favorite songs. But they are at some point joined by actress, filmmaker, and amateur pop culture oracle Sarah Ramos, who has a long list of her fave pieces of modern civilization to send out to space (notably Taylor Swift's entire discography, RuPaul's drag race, and weed edibles).  There's also a discussion of best practices for self-tapes, and how to avoid being embarrassed when someone walks in on you in the bathroom. Probably also useful for the aliens to know, we have to assume!!! Sarah's Artifacts Taylor Swift's Discography (Audio) Enlightened (TV show) Hustlers (2019 film) Mary-Kate and Ashley VHSes (Audio-Visuals) Weed edibles (Food) Social Media stan accounts (Phenomenon) RuPaul's Drag Race (TV show) Follow Sarah on Instagram and Twitter.  Watch the video version of the episode Follow the show @keepingrecordspod Advertise on Keeping Records via Gumball.fm See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This is a HeadGum Original. In 1977, NASA sent two solid gold records into space so that aliens might find them and understand life on Earth. I send greetings on behalf of the people of our planet and friendly wishes to all who may encounter this voyager. Now, we're making new records with our friends. Bonjour tout le monde. Konnichiwa. Hola y saludo sato.

Assalamu alaikum. We step out of our solar system into the universe seeking only peace and friendship. We know full well that our planet and all its inhabitants are but a small part of this immense universe that surrounds us. Hello from the children of planet Earth. Oooh. Woah woah woah woah woah woah woah woah woah woah woah woah woah woah woah woah woah woah woah woah woah woah woah woah woah woah. Stop I'm bleeding from the eyes

I break I break doing well well wells Stop it Shelby Joelle Charlab Huh okay So Shelby Joel Wolstein Huh, okay So

Forgot your name What's up, dude? You know, a little bit of this, a little bit of that A little bit of cinderella a little bit of you yeah yeah hey casey sorry for what you got to do to that audio but um shelby how are you for real let's be be, can we just stop, stop, stop, stop. Hold on. First of all, can we just be serious for once on this fucking podcast? God, for once, can we be serious?

How are you dude? You know, good. I'm good. How are you? I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I don't want you to be real. I'm good. Things are good. I'm good. How are you? God. God, I'm good.

God, I'm good. Oh my God. I am so good. How have you been? God, I'm good. God, I'm good. I'm fucking good too is the crazy part. Fuck.

Like I'm really good. You know, a lot of times you'll talk to someone, they'll be like, how are you? And you'll be like, good. And it's like, oh, you could be good or bad. But I'm telling you right now, I'm good. I'm good. Like I'm legitimately, like I'm good right now.

You don't even, you like, I feel like you part believe me, but you don't know, like you don't even know how hard to believe me because I can't sell it to you in the right way. Right, right. I'm good. Like to you in the right way. Right. Right. I'm good. People ask all the time. Like I would say like a dozen times a day, someone's probably like, oh, how are you? And you do like the, you do like the, like the obligatory, like, oh, I'm good.

How are you? But like, I'm telling you right now, when I told you, I'm good. I'm doing good. Like things are good. Like professionally great. Personally great. Everything is great I'm great I'm doing good

I wouldn't change I wouldn't change anything Because everything's good If I like had the opportunity If someone were like If it was like literally if I rubbed a lamp right now, okay. If I got in an attic and I rubbed it and when I rubbed it, a genie came out and he gave me three wishes. I wouldn't even wish for things to be different because like they're good. That's awesome. I'm tired of airbnb hosts though i will say um that's the only thing that has been on my mind lately

well i stayed in an airbnb recently and on the airbnb listing it said two levels right it's two-story house got we got the first floor you walk in on that floor you got the next floor there's bedrooms up there a bathroom these are the things you expect two four two-story house got we got the first floor you walk in on that floor got the next floor there's bedrooms up there a bathroom these are the things you expect two four two-story house well imagine my surprise when we get in there and there's a third story and we go up there because it's open to us it's not locked or anything i want you to know right now in my heart of hearts i feel like there's a body well and in a way you're correct we go up there and there are uncontained birds now now ask me shall we go ahead and ask me if if there were any mention of birds in the listing hey caleb i was there were not so

we go up there and there are birds flying around the third floor of the Airbnb. Okay. So I have to know that there are birds in the house. They wake us up. They wake us up in the mornings. Then on my way out, they asked me to sweep. They asked me to sweep, feed them, do the dishes and take out the trash. Now, mind you, I paid probably a two or $300 cleaning fee and I'm being me to sweep feed them do the dishes and take out the trash now mind you i

paid probably a two or three hundred dollar cleaning fee and i'm being asked to sweep un-fucking-believable have i talked about this to you before no and also birds i know you're saying like they woke us up whatever but you're being gentle at least with birds that my mom once adopted a bird and that bird was it slept right next to my bedroom door. It lived right near my bedroom door and I didn't sleep for six years until we gave the bird away because I, that bird had a lot to say. That bird was ultimately a comedian. One of the funniest I've ever seen perform.

And that's tough to hear. But proceed. The bird had picked up on us. The bird talked. It was a talk talking bird, um, military McCaw for all those bird heads out there. Um, and she used to hear us like yelling at my brother and she started doing it. So, and she was like really good at it to where it like seemed like it was a person.

So she would yell at him and my brother would sometimes just be like, like, what? And it would just be the bird. Well, that can be so powerful. Birds suck. Birds are not good animals. They're scary in a really big way.

Can you see my screen? Yeah, I didn't know who was doing this. I want to show you a song that I haven't been able to stop listening to for a couple days. I'm listening to it on my own because you shared it and I really like it, but I want you to play it for the podcast. And we'll sort of just vibe. It's not playing for me right now, unfortunately. You can't hear it? No, no, I can't.

Wow, I was really going for it. That's too bad. I know, and it does work, but I don't know how to do it because Anya had done it. Why can't you hear it? Whoa, okay, check this out. Check out how far we're going. Anya, will you play a song for us yes

I don't want any of this cut I want the listeners to know the journey that we went on kidding I mean if we have to cut it kidding I'm not passionate guys podcasts oh my god I want to play adult movies by litany and Shelby did you say you did like it or no I loved it I love litany it'sby did you say you did like it or no i loved it i love litany

it's let's listen to this listen to this here here goes anya thank you anya let me give you a haircut got real high on the balcony so true okay keep going right okay so this song I have been listening to let me please follow me back on Instagram

I love your music queen this song is so good let me fucking bangs wait wait wait wait I love your music queen. This song is so good. Let me fucking bangs. Wait, wait, wait, wait. Ah! Knock you out with the kind of love. Hey, right.

Right. It's always the quiet ones. Right. I hate. Right, I hate. Right. So true. Yeah. This is good.

Litany. Litany, if you're out there, queen. Litany, come on the pod. I don't know your pronouns. Litany, come on the pod and follow me back on Insta, babe. This is embarrassing, Caleb. Stop begging. Anya, you can stop it.

I never do that. Why am I begging Litany to follow me on Insta? Bedroom is a, Caleb. Stop begging. Anya, you can stop it. I never do that. Why am I begging Litany to follow me on Insta? Bedroom is a banger. My dude is a banger. Adult movies are a banger. My dude goes fucking bananas, dude. My dude is one of the better songs. Can we play that, Anya?

This is the Litany Hour. This is lit. Hey, guys. Thanks for listening to this radio uh it's pussy the boob it's pussy the boob up next we've got my dude by litany this shit goes uh right i feel like i want to be roller skating right now. Yes. And not blading.

Skating. Skating. corner a place and she drives her dad's Mercedes uh uh uh uh Whitney you went crazy with this one follow me on instagirl stop it

here we fucking go I'm happy I'm happy I'm happy I'm happy I'm happy I'm happy I'm happy

I'm happy I'm happy I'm happy I'm happy I'm happy I'm happy I'm happy I'm happy I'm happy I'm happy I'm happy I'm happy I'm happy I'm happy I'm happy I'm happy I'm happy I'm happy I'm happy I'm happy I'm happy I'm happy I'm happy I'm happy I'm happy I'm happy I'm happy I'm happy I'm happy I'm happy I'm happy I'm happy I'm happy I'm happy I'm happy I'm happy I let me do it, I could be your girlfriend. You could be my dude. I feel like you and if you let me do it, I could be your girlfriend. Wow.

Not getting her due, Litany. Litany, listen, I will say, Litany, I think, just got a million streams on adult movies. Congratulations, Litany. Also, we're friends with some musicians i don't want you guys to think that we're friends with litany i don't want you to think that until it's true and i'm working on it we stand litany we really in this friendship on this podcast caleb and i used to go on peak pandemic caleb and i were going on a lot of night drives through Los Angeles and my dude and bedroom. Those were really big. Adult movies never made the cut. I don't know if was it out? I did not been out yet. I don't know. I don't think so. We were doing a lot of that. And those songs were sort of highlights of the playlist. Um, were they ever? So when Caleb says

it's a big part of our friendship He's not exactly lying Shelby I have to confess something to you What is it I struggled with Heather not to tell you this The other day I posted something on Instagram That had nothing to do with you Which is already insulting I understand Thank you for ending it at least one of our little freaks.

Hey, keeping records. Stan commented and said, are you and Shelby still close? I deleted the comment. So if you're listening, I deleted your comment. But there seems to be maybe a misconception that because we no longer live together. People's not watching the video episode of My Mouth is a Jar. A gape, completely a gape, aghast. There seems to be a conception that because we no longer live together,

maybe we're not still hooking up. Maybe we're not still so close that it's concerning to people around us. But I wanted to give you an opportunity to speak on that. Guys. Well, first I want to start with, even Jeff was like, are you guys really not living together because of the cat? And I was like, genuinely, yes. Yeah. In a big way.

Also, I moved in with five people to pay cheaper rent. You would never do that. Even if the cat wasn't an issue, you would never do that. Yeah, I don't want to live with five people. It would have had to be that Caleb and I lived somewhere worse so that we could live cheaper, which, you know,

was maybe a possibility, but then there's also the do they take cat, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Details, details, details. Caleb and I are as close now as we've ever been. We hook up more than we ever even did before. You know when divorced people, or not divorced people, God forbid, when married people are like, we have never been closer than when we started sleeping in twin beds.

Yeah. This is our twin beds. This is our twin beds. Let me tell you something right here and right now. Keeping records has entered our twin bed era. We are in our twin bed era. And you guys are living amidst it. We are in our twin bed bags, honey. And we are, I mean, and I don't, I'm snoozing the alarm, you know.

I'm sleeping in. I'm sleeping in. I'm sleeping in. I'm sleeping in because finally, finally being awake is more exciting than my dreams. Exactly. Finally. Because I'm good. I'm doing good.

I'm good, dude. I'm literally good is the thing. Fuck off. I'm doing good. Everyone fuck off if you think I'm not doing good. You're crazy for that one. Should we? I'm so excited for our guests today i was gonna say should we bring her in or guys our guest today is a hollywood actress and filmmaker and an amateur pop culture oracle

she's in the new hbo show winning time premiering in march and she has an audible original called Zaddy which she wrote and is performing and she recorded literally some of it today coming out in May you guys our very dear friend one of the people we're closest with in the world we met today on the podcast

our friend please make some noise and put your fins together for Sarah Ramos I will tell you both honestly getting caught with my pants down i hate i hate when that happens because it's like how mortifying they should be up i actually um kind of tried to make a decision like yeah like it's scary if you're in a public bathroom and somebody's going to walk in. It's like, no. But I think actually the way to do it is to like be like, okay, yep, hey, I'm in here. And not like try to stop the door from opening.

Not be like, oh, no. Just be like, this is happening. I'm here with my pants down. I accept that. And now you're the fool. If you react with confidence at that time, they're the fool. Exactly.

You actually come out heavily on top. I also feel that way about gossip. I don't, you know, want to be tested on this, but I, you know, you want to be like,

oh, I don't want any, I hope nobody's saying anything about me. I hope my secret isn't shared or whatever, but I kind of want to be like, you know what? Maybe they'll share it. And what do I

have to hide? What do I have to hide? I also, while you were saying that Sarah, it made me think, I think that both of you will love this story, this little factoid. I, I like a couple of weeks ago, I was hooking up with this guy and I had to, I had to get up to get undressed. You know, when you're having sex, sometimes you have to get naked. And I had to get up to get undressed. You know, when you're having sex, sometimes you have to get naked and I had to get up to like take off, had a complicated kind of spider situation going on. And I thought it would be funny. I thought it'd be kind of funny when I got undressed to go. So what do you think?

And he goes, and so I'm sitting there naked and I go, so what do you think? And he goes, um, awesome. And I was like, okay, forget it, forget it. Let's just move on.

You said forget it, forget it, forget it. Put your clothes back on. You wear a turtleneck. How did you acknowledge that your joke bombed? Well, first of all, thank you for calling it what it is, a bomb. I'm not saying it wasn't funny, but he didn't get it. He was an audience of one and he didn't like it.

That's a bomb, honey. He was caught with his pants down. Was he ever? And I said, I literally just said, he said, he said, awesome. And I said, oh, forget it. Let's move on. And then we just kind of hooked up. But pretty funny, I think, of me to do that to present my body

my naked body i wouldn't i think i wouldn't have been able to have sex after that if he had gotten the joke it would be like marriage material yeah that would have been so much hotter would not would not have been so much hotter that would have been like a big deal it would you know it would have been the hottest to me is if he was like, this is really psychotic. I was going to ask, what would your ideal response be? This is really psychotic. But if I had presented my naked body to this guy, who I did not know, and said, so what do you think? And he said, I've seen better.

I think that would be so hot and so funny. Because you would have had the same sense of humor. Yeah, that's funny because it's like we're already here having sex. Why would you say that? I think that's so funny. That's what I would have said if someone did that to me. And if someone said that to me, it would really do a number. It would do its little number on me.

It would do its little number? Said, I've seen better, just unprompted. If I had just stripped naked and someone said I've seen better, you would... Extra therapy. It's a dicey line with girls and gays, because girls and gays, we all

have our body stuff, so you never know who's willing to joke about what, right? There's a full scene in a Nicole Holofcis center movie lovely and amazing where emily uh-oh what's her last name couldn't tell you she's famous that's okay mortimer i think she gets completely naked in the movie um and says like tell me what's wrong with me to this guy and like he doesn it oh my god is it horrifying it's like so cringy and awkward yeah i don't remember anything he says i just remember the

prompt it's very similar to your situation sarah that made my tummy hurt that's cinema that's what cinema does good film art makes you feel exactly in its purest form. Oh God. What is the accent you're doing? Shelb? Uh, intelligent, intelligent accent from the intelligentsia region from the region of

intelligentsia in Frogtown from the intelligentsia Silver Lake area. Um, I have to ask Sarah, how are you? Where are you? What's going on? I am well. I'm in my home office. I've been doing a lot of voiceover work today.

As I just recorded the audio. Actually, I don't know. I'm new to voiceover work, even though I'm very much doing it. So I don't know the terminology, but I just recorded Chris Messina. You know that actor? Oh yes. Yes. He's hot. You might call him a zaddy maybe. Well, I hope you might because he is playing a character named zaddydy in my Audible original called Zaddy. I never figured out how to do the audio effects, but I would have done a ba-dum-chick when you said Zaddy. But I can't because I don't know how.

So know that I would have done it. That's pretty famously an audio effect that you can do acapella. You just go ba-dum-tss. Yeah, but there's audio effects in... And you opted not to. No, but by the riverside, there are audio effects. I was born... I have this strangest urge to go ahead and jump into song for you both.

Were you about to do The Wiz? I was born but no. By Oliver. Isn't it? Yes. Got it. I thought you were

Another thing about how I am is I'm shocked. I was a little shocked that there's a video component to this podcast. Oh. Just because

I do so much voiceover work as I just mentioned. Just kidding. But because just my bangs are overgrown right now and they need to be cut. And they had to be seriously changed. I think you look stunning for what it's worth. Thank you so much. I was fishing for that.

Caleb wants me to address on this while we're talking about the video component. That last week. Bring it up. That last week, Caleb filmed in studio and the lighting was bad. And it was not because he looked bad. filmed in studio and the lighting was bad and it was not because he looked bad. And it was because the lighting looked bad and Caleb himself, he wants me to say this.

He's holding me hostage, looked gorgeous. It's time to face facts. I am last week on the video and it's not going to happen this week's era. You look beautiful. We look beautiful. I am a 10 and last week's last week's video did not demonstrate that. Last week's video, I looked like a gremlin.

I looked 15 years older than I am. I'm 19. So I looked 15 years older than 19, 34. I looked bad and it was all because of the overhead lighting. I am not somebody who looks that way. And so I want the listeners to know, of which we have millions, I am somebody who's hot and you guys have seen me do that before. So don't think that last week is a new era for me.

It's not. I get that. And I'm glad that this is the kind of podcast where you don't like let things like that go. You like address insecurities like, and errors right off the bat. Yeah. I mean,

it was an error. Exactly. Sarah, do you consider yourself to be, and this is one of this, you know, this podcast, we podcast on such a high level here that we're not afraid to go in between silly little observations

and big questions. Do you consider yourself, Sarah, someone who lets things go? Absolutely not. I mean, I try. I have to learn. That's my journey on this earth is learning to let things go. What about you?

Do you think you're getting better? No, no. Grudge holding. Evil, evil, evil. I'm an evil, evil, evil grudge holder. Shelby? I have one against Shelby. Shelby, what do you think about yourself?

I don't believe, I don't let things go and I don't believe it's my journey to learn how to. I think my journey is to continue on this path and see and let, and you know, let people do the correcting. You know, they have to figure it out. I should just keep on keeping on, you know? Yes. Not me. I have to let it go. It's not me. I personally feel that if you didn't grow,

if you didn't grow during COVID, um, the, the original lockdown OG part one, the, the one where we kind of pretended to do a lockdown. I think if you didn't grow during that, you're not supposed to.

And I didn't. And so I don't think the, I don't think the rest of my life I will be growing. I think growth is out of the option for me. Yeah. Is that good to know yourself? No, I think, yeah, I think growth is out of the option for me. Yeah. Is that good to know yourself? No, I think,

yeah, I think it's so good about yourself. That's good to know about yourself. That was so diplomatic. You could be a politician if you wanted. Thank you so much. New career alert. Oh,

wait, um, before we get in, before we get into your record, Sarah, I have to ask if have to ask, if you had to run for one political office, what would it be? The president. Just kidding. Obviously. I'm just kidding.

That's just the first thing that came to mind. I don't know. It is the easiest one to come to, you know? Exactly. It's the first. You have to work your way down from you're like political office president who's below that you have to really do a whole tree and you got to do that quick yeah you know what's crazy the mayor of los angeles serves more people is supposed to serve but don't let me get started

serves as an office more people than many than many small nations. Isn't that crazy? Caleb, what is this podcast? I just came to my mind. I thought, well, this is a podcast where I can be myself. And I thought that was kind of interesting. I read that the other day. I thought that was beautiful. Thank you for sharing it.

Thank you, Sarah. What is the first thing that you would put on your golden records? Okay, well, anyone who knows me simply knows that this will be there. It's, of course, Taylor Swift's entire discography. Oh, my God. Yes. Has anybody, have you had any Swifties on the pod previously? I think we've had Swifties, but they've not added her,

which would sort of revoke their title, right? Yes. Okay, I'm not the authority. That's on the Swifty Coalition. If you're a Swifty, how are you not sending, you don't want the aliens to know about Taylor? Sorry, I'm not clear on what the point of the records are. Is it to like communicate with aliens?

Is it to? Yeah. The original records were sent to space with the intent that if aliens ever found them they would like understand what life on earth was like um so that was the that's the point of them um they're also gonna outlive us so like so it's not like a sort of a bummer to talk about for us it can be both basically i think the most important thing in building a record and and I think you've done it. We've looked over your stuff, and I think you've done this with yours. But I think the most important thing with the record is telling the aliens, like, okay, from Sarah's perspective, this is what it means to be a human.

These things, like Taylor's music and the other things you're going to add, are like, this is my experience as a human on earth and I want to share it with you. Okay. Absolutely. Yes. Taylor Swift's entire discography. When, when I think of Taylor, I think of, uh, being in my hometown and listening to, uh, mean specifically 2010 live at the VMAs mean, um, I felt like so powerful listening to that song. What Sarah, what, when you think of Taylor, is there a moment or a song that you think of first? It's tough. As you see, I've mentioned her entire discography. Yeah. You got a lot to pick from putting all of that up there. Um, one of my favorites is, um, is the album red, uh, which you may know has recently made a resurgence. I would come back on the scene with Taylor's version.

Um, love that. I don't know. I love, I love all of them. I have such a sad answer. Shelby, do you have any, any thoughts? Help me get there. Red was such a moment. Red was such a sad answer. Shelby, do you have any, any thoughts? Red was such a moment. Red was such a moment. I here's the true, the first, I know exactly when I first like knew of Taylor Swift because it was our song and I was at Jewish summer camp and a girl sang our song at the talent show and sort of didn't directly say

it, but sort of passed it off as if she had written it. And I was kind of like, this song bangs, like she is talent. Then I got home and was like, no, wait a second. And it really sort of shocked me that it was not this, like, girl. I thought it was a song about summer camp, her talking to her bunk. And it was, I couldn't have been more wrong. So that was a brutal sort of come to truth moment when I arrived, when I touched back on anti-campland. When you heard the song on the radio and you were like, wait a second. Well, first I was like, Natasha? They were like, Taylor Swift.

And I was like, oh, my God, I have encountered a liar. Do you remember the person, Natasha Shmeshmeshmeh? I do. Have you checked in on what she's up to recently? Married kids, married kids. Any new scams? I don't know. I should check. I'll call. I'll call. I'll say, hey, you running any more lies? Are you running any more lies? That is the big question for everyone that you're out of touch with. Sarah, I feel that Taylor has gone through. I feel that Taylor was, okay, this is what, okay, Taylor comes onto the scene, country.

She's doing, she does, when you think Tim McGraw, I hope you think of me, me right she's just in the country sphere i feel that the general uh zeitgeist is ignoring her um then she does her pop crossover she gets big uh she's beloved for a moment but only for a moment probably for many reasons i do think misogyny is one of the biggest ones but of course that's more for y'all to speak on than me then she's hated no i think people are hating on taylor well i do want to do that but i know that the listeners wouldn't like it i'm like i'm like here's misogyny what no then she's hated i think people are back to loving taylor do you agree absolutely taylor is like the entire music industry right now like she's she's releasing re-releasing all of her albums to own them and make money off of them.

And we're all buying them and they're selling. Yeah. More than other people's new music. That's insane. Yeah. And I'll say it, I'll say it on the podcast. Fuck and bleep his name.

No free clout for, uh, the girly. Fuck that music producer that you just named, whose name will be bleeped. no free clout for uh the girly fuck that music producer that you just named whose name will be bleeped and i do think dovetail which uh has been happening for a long time but people are now really starting to understand and we can bleep that name as well no free clout for the girlies uh it really helped with taylor's reascension into a zeitgeist moment where she's not the butt of so many jokes people are being nicer to her now because he had his comeuppance you know what i mean it goes like this because

of the few like when people were like no he's it he had too many people being like well if he's it then she has to be shit you know and when it started to come wow come come to the did you just did you make that up sorry the it versus shit dichotomy of a public feud. We have to talk about that. Do you guys think that that was good? I liked it. Yes. Okay.

Yes, you saw a very similar thing going on. You could have stolen. 2016 primaries, you saw something very similar with Bernie and Hillary. I will say. But truly, as soon as we were like wait maybe he's shit we were like wait she's it and it was sort of a collective

we're so stupid I do think anyone that was team is sort of now being like fuck fuck okay fuck they're playing the fool was it or was it ****?

And as we see on the trending topics on Twitter every day, he's getting the shit side of her it right now. Yeah. She's running circles around him. She's running circles. Cam is a mastermind. What did he expect? Yes. The Kardashian-Jenner conglomerate. This is the mastermind. What did he expect? Sarah, yes. The Kardashian-Jenner conglomerate.

This is the truth. The Kardashian-Jenner conglomerate. Yes, Sarah, right. Exactly. Of the smartest people on earth. And they have passed themselves off as being some of the dumbest. And that is how they continue to win. They're media masterminds.

Absolutely. I actually don't think anyone is better at business than Kris Jenner. She's the smartest businesswoman on the planet. I think that if you gave me a BBL, $200,000 and two kids, I could build something better than what Kris Jenner has within two years. Within two years? Within two years. Within two years. Hey, look folks,

give me $200,000, a BBL, a couple of kids. And on the South side of two years, I will have an empire bigger than the Kardashians. Who's willing to invest? It's a billionaire mindset. And I give you that,

but it's, it's a failed one. It's a billionaire mindset, and I give you that. But it's a failed one. It's a billionaire mindset that doesn't take off. Sarah doesn't believe. Sarah doesn't believe in me at all. You're just saying things, and it's just not possible. Kris Jenner couldn't have done that in that long. Yeah, and Kris Jenner is Kris Jenner.

You're so right. But maybe I could. No, you're right. I couldn't chris jenner ever have a podcast chris no because she's not thinking she's i'm playing three-dimensional chess she's playing checkers she doesn't understand that having a comedy podcast it can be so powerful yeah to be a mother and make and make that that motherhood is a job, as we know. But to make that family into a working company is one of the craziest things you could do in a positive way. I'm praising.

I'm giving praise. They're media masterminds. You can't even – I can't even fathom the way that they control information and cultivate interest and, you know, sexually entice the world to pay attention to them. Also, well, actually, never mind. Never mind. Oh! Ah! Sarah!

Sarah said, Sarah heard her publicist and her lawyer in her head, and she said, allow me to stop. I'm obsessed. Caleb, let's be honest. You would have like, you'd have a sock line like the brother. Yes, easily. But like, that's what else? That's it!

Just a sock line. Don't sell me so short. No, you're right. A sock line would be where I'd start. What else are you talking about? I would do a sock line. I would do a sock line. I start. What else are you talking about? What other lines of income? I would do a sockline. I would do, oh, wait, what was I just thinking of the other day? I had an incredible idea for an app.

I don't remember what it was, but I had a really good idea for an app the other day. I would do that. Yeah. But they did an app that was literally just like pretending. They did an app. They've had a few apps. Some apps are just like, Hey,

do you want to see more of us? They've had many apps. The Kim Kardashian game. We are like, pretend to be us. I could do games. Just pretend to be us and buy our shit. Brilliant. I would make a cigarette.

I would make a cigarette that smells like cigarettes, but is not cancerous and looks as cool as smoking cigarettes does. And that would be big. I think, Hey, I have bad news for you. And it's that those super exist. No.

Yeah. Like fake cigarettes that taste and smell. Yeah. Big time. My mom uses some placebos regularly. There's something wrong with them though. I bet they cause something. One of them just makes a sound.

So she feels like she's hearing it. Makes a sound? Yeah. It whispers to you. You look so cool right now. It's kind of like, it's like I, she was doing it inside and I was like,

is she vaping? No, it's, it has nothing in it. Oh, it's just sort of vaping. Oh my God. What a statement. Vaping nothing.

What a statement on our culture, isn't it? I really just impressed myself vaping nothing that it really speaks. That really speaks volumes, honey. Um, no, it, it's just a tube. You suck air in, you breathe air out, but it makes some sounds as if you're... So. Wow.

I can't explain it. She buys some stuff. Like my mom doesn't... Hey, if you're a police officer driving behind my mom, close your ears. But my mom doesn't like to buckle, and she bought a buckle thing that she keeps in the thing so it won't beep at her. Turns the sensors off. Oh, my God.

Nice. Wait, where does your mom live? She's buying placebos left and right. Cleveland. Wow. Can we hear more about her really quick? Yeah, go off on Yeah. Powerful woman. She sounds very interesting. She is interesting. I have often referred to my mom as, um, like very enigmatic. She doesn't make a lot of sense. Everything about her contradicts the next thing about her.

She makes total sense to me. I think she should be president i love her she doesn't i i think i think i think she's incredible i really love her she's she's my idol what's going on with you even more importantly than all of that idolizing your mom sarah what's next on your records okay, just to, I think I really like some songs from, I'll name drop one song. I love Invisible String. Do you know it? It's from the newer albums. Anya, can you play it? Can we play that, Anya?

Anya, help us out, please. Wanna hear the song, please. Did you listen to her quarantine drops? I listened to a little bit, yes. Invisible string. Here we go. Caleb, this is screaming you.

It's giving. Yeah, this is very me. It's giving Sufjan. Green was the color of the grass where I used to read. It's in Daniel Park. I used to think I would meet somebody. Oh my god, go on. Can we skip ahead a little bit on you?

Give us 20 seconds from now. Uh. A club remix of this would go harder than it should Okay we can cut that That is Oh that's good Is that a driving around song for you Sarah? Because I could drive to that Yes good. Is that a driving around song for you, Sarah? Because I could drive to that. Yes, that entire album is a driving around album.

It's downloaded to my phone. It's downloaded to the phone, baby. Yes, it's gorgeous. For driving around. Sarah has a phone just for driving around. It's downloaded to that one. No, like, you know, if you get into, you know, you're driving. Tricky spots, no service. No goddamn service.

Well, what you gonna play? Folklore. Whatever's downloaded. Evermore. Invisible string. Lana, whatever. Anyways. That's so good.

I love that one. In any case. Okay, next, I'm gonna say RuPaul's Drag Race. Sarah said gay rights. Sarah, would you say gay rights for us? Gay rights. Thank you. Let's go.

Game people win again. Game people win again. Well, we need it. We need Drag Race up there. We do. Who's your favorite queen? And you have to pick one. Just one.

Right now it's Zangeria. Amazing. Stunning. Paris Van Michaels. All time. I can't do it. You go first. Oh God, I don't watch.

You don't watch? Does anybody watch? I have seen many, but I don't religiously watch. And let me say one thing. Wow. I'm planning on changing that really soon. The problem was I started watching like a weekly thing with people and then it was Bachelor and I never watched that.

And then they changed from Bachelor to RuPaul, but then I went home to Cleveland. So I am working on getting back to L.A. to watch RuPaul and really get into it. Oh, so you're in Cleveland right now? Yes. That's cool. The land of many home with the mom. It happens to the best of us. Um, so, and Caleb, you don't watch either. You know what happened for me? And Sarah, I do not know how much you will like this answer, but I'll tell you my full truth. Cause I feel like we are that close. I didn't get into it when my friends were getting into it because I was freshly out of the closet and I was one of those gays that was like, I'm not going to be like all the, like, I didn't want to do anything

that felt like the gayest thing in the world. And drag is pretty up there. And that was, I'm way past that now, but then all my friends are so deep into it i would have had to do seasons of catch-ups and i know you can kind of jump in anywhere but what might please you is that shelby and i um went to drag shows and stuff when we lived in chicago and we would put drag queens on our shows and stuff so like our friend dairy queen for example is an incredible chicago drag queen um, we like dairy queen. Great name. Auntie Chan. Um, great name. So, so I'm familiar with like the Chicago drag community,

but I don't know RuPaul's drag race that much. Look, fair enough. Um, I love it personally. Oh my God. No, I'm, I've, I feel like, you know what? I I've messed up on the podcast. This is why your producer said Sarah give us your answers Seven days early to avoid a moment like this No No

Thank you Yes My favorite thing is Lifetime A moment like this I voted for Kelly Clarkson every week of the first season of American Idol Massive you contributed to our country's future

by doing that the other day I had a thought which was that show capitalized so big off of her being so successful because there's only like two other successful American idols and Carrie Underwood and I would say Clay Aiken

who didn't win who's running for Congress right now which is insane and there are other people who had like moderate success but like anyways moving right along. Keeping it absolutely moving.

Well, Kelly was, like, a really big winner right out the gate. She was, like, absolutely a star, kind of, like, best-case scenario. She's still a star. She still runs the culture. Like, that's a big win for American Idol. That's what I'm saying and i think

they got seasons on seasons on seasons chasing another kelly and they didn't quite get there as often they they're they're they're not batting 100 you know they're batting way lower than that i don't actually know i know batting 100 means really good but I actually don't know what batting bad would be so I started it and then couldn't sort of lock it down at the end I get it um and I agree completely and without reservations but so no reservations so drag race okay here's something I think we can all get behind Whether or not You're a drag race fan You know

Are you both actors? Yes Are you You're in the I think I saw something When I was perusing Your Instagram about Something about Caleb

Getting hit by a light Doing a self tape Or something Oh Did I make that up? No that feels like it happened. Is that harmful? No, no, Shelby.

Shelby, you know what it was? No, no, no. What it was was I think we did a clip for the pod one week where you were helping me with a self-tape and I fell to the ground during it and smashed my head into the wall. Do you remember that? Yes, yeah.

So hard. Yes, yes. Didn't get it. Didn't get it, by the way. Didn't know. Well, how would you have? Yeah, no hard. Yes. Didn't get it. Didn't get it, by the way. Didn't know the book. Well, how would you have? Yeah, no, Caleb fell as part of a self-tape.

And it was like maybe the third take of it. And the other two, he kind of phoned in the fall. Like, it was like, I'm not going to fully fall for the tape. And it was like i'm not gonna fully you told me as much yeah you told me as much you were telling me oh and you said you need to do more shelby was like come on now i don't think that's true but at the end of the day caleb took the most it was big you can't sar, you cannot possibly imagine. And I couldn't laugh because he was on self-tape.

Charlotte takes a tumble. Was that what it was? Are you okay? And it ruins the whole tape. So I just had to be like. Smashed my head. For the next three days, I legitimately that I had brain internal brain bleeding. Oh my goodness.

I had so hard for a roll but I did not book a reward for the match. What was the feedback? Did not get any feedback on this one. If I had to guess, just throwing a dart at how self-tapes go, they probably cast a thin person who didn't hit their head on the wall.

And yeah, I really risked it all for that one. They were probably so worried that after that fall, you wouldn't be able to memorize your lines. Like you, the way you. I thought for sure we were going to lose. We lost our security deposit anyway, but I thought for sure we were going to lose it.

I sent the clip with the head hit as well, by the way. Did you, did anybody respond to be like, Whoa, kind of hard, huh? I cut the noise out,

but it was the clip. It was definitely cause I got, what basically happened was I jumped up to fall and I cut it right after I went vertical or horizontal. And then when my body was like that, I was like cut. But what they don't know is on the other end of that, um,

I smashed my head so hard into the wall. wall but anyway you were saying something we can all agree on about drag race okay so well yeah maybe actors i don't know but um i've been acting since i was like 10 years old done so many auditions so many self-tapes been driven fully insane by the experience you just described you know no matter how hard you hit your head or whatever you're not even going to get a response from anybody you don't even know and you're like okay i think um i think maybe you lose all sense of like what you did were you good did you like are you a piece of shit all this stuff um and on drag race you know i love the way that they include the queens who um lose and to mess up and they turn like let's say okay if you're on drag race

and you hit your head really hard that would become your thing like your like gimmick and people would love you for it and say yes like hit your head baby whatever you know don't cancel me for saying that for shouting at that enthusiastically um never hit your head baby hit your head baby head hitter hit that head head trauma so that is like there's no way to lose being on Drag Race. You know, even if you knew, if you knew about Miss Vanjie, she was the first queen out one season. And she did this bizarre walkout that made absolutely no sense where she was like, Miss Vanjie. And it was really long. She just said her name like that.

And she became so famous for that, came onto a new season. And I just feel like that's the way self-tape should be. You know, that's the way it should, it should be inclusive. You know, it's not just, oh, the person who gets it gets all the attention. Everybody else gets, suffocates on nothing, you know, everyone else just gets to be at home. Yeah. For free. Um, it's like,

you know, we're a community. We're rising, we're raising each other up. Exactly. And that's exactly what I feel. We need, you're so right. We need a community around,

um, first of all, we need jobs for bad actors. Second of all, we need, we need community-tapes it's a horrible process um and third of all i think that we should be doing bigger makeup for self-tapes in general interesting and wigs bigger makeup and wigs i think every every self-tape you should be doing like i should be doing like, no matter what I go out for, if I go out for a construction worker, gruff fifties, which I have been close to being sent to, uh, you get, but you guys, you have to do big, full beat face three hours. Well, but that's the thing with, with these auditions, it's like, well, why nobody's even gonna, we don't even know if anybody's watching it you don't have a michelle visage to say babe your makeup doesn't look good and you need to work on your makeup but i like your spunky personality or whatever and it's like well if there's not a give and receive exactly

why even spend the three hours beating your face why spend the three hours you're right but it would i think contribute to a culture it would would contribute to a culture. We need more culture. We need culture around self-tapes. We need actor culture. You guys are right. Actor culture is disgusting. Actor culture is disgusting. Because it's full of shame and it's been pushed into the shadows and we need to drag it up.

And speaking of pushing to the shadows, we need to push this podcast into the shadows just for a moment so we can record our ads. Bye now, y'all welcome bark sarah sarah would you give us a bark like a dog bark um yes literally oh my god we win none of our guests should say yes to that it's insane that we ask and you were so good at it oh thank you we ask thank you so much well sarah before we get into the rest of your records which so far i'm obsessed with um which is french for obsessed we wanted to ask you what's something so embarrassing in all of human history that

you would delete it from the records altogether? I knew this was coming and I thought I would have something, but I simply don't at the moment. Do you? Yeah, I think if I had to pick one just off the top of my head from today, I would probably say, um, when you're, when you, when you thought, when you thought you were going to get up early and have kind of a slow start to the day and then you accidentally oversleep and now your entire day is a rush. I would delete the, that happening. Like I would delete the, um, the overs, I guess I would delete oversleeping. That's what I'm trying to say. Perfect. That actually reminded me. Okay.

Yeah. I would delete social anxiety because I don't like the feeling where you are excited to talk to somebody, but then, and you're like, I'm going to go talk to them. And then the being face-to-face in person, then the fear. And it's like, oh my God. And that cancels out the excitement and it's just not, it's a stressful experience. What is that fear? Are we worried that people aren't going to like us? Is that what that is? That's definitely a part of it for sure. It's gotta be it, but it's also like, no, it's that it's not that and i'm like no worries it's also it's also i feel like with social media and like being on the internet it's like this is completely comfortable because we're all in our separate little squares you know and we're chilling in our space but imagine face to face it's like oh my god we're confronted with the reality of of it and it's like what do i

touch i just i don't know i think there's also something to oh go ahead shelby no please take it away women have had enough time talking no men have men have for so long dominated the discourse. Shelby, I am begging you, please, girl. He's going to interrupt me. No, please. But just what I would say. No, you go for real. Is this intimidating? No, you're not scary, dude. You're really, really small.

But you go for real. I won't interrupt you at all. There's also the like, if I, there's the like, will people not like me? And then also, will I do something so weird

that it like, it's not just that interaction, that it becomes bigger than that. That it becomes like, damn, they tell their friends. Next time I see this person, they're like, remember that weird thing you did? And then it's something that I never escape. But that's what brings me to the beginning of the episode to saying, you know what? You walk in on me in a public bathroom and it's like, hello. Nice to see you. And it's not, it's like you shared a piece of gossip that I trusted you with in private. Like, okay, well, what do I have to hide?

It's like, what? Yeah. What? What's that fear? I think too. There's a, there's a piece of it for me at least. And I think, okay, so there's, I think there's a version of this that's like, I think there's a version of this that's relatable to everybody, but I'll say like, you know, Shelby, you make

jokes on the internet. People see your jokes. You like, people know you have a web presence, Sarah, you're on TV and film and you have a web presence as well. Like, uh, I think that there's a piece of that that is like the, not to brag everyone here. No, but I think there's a piece of that. That's like, I don't want to violate your expectation. If you know me from somewhere else, if you know my comedy or my Twitter or whatever, or, you know, me from videos online. Um, I don't want to violate your expectation. If you know me from somewhere else, if you know my comedy or my Twitter or whatever, or you know me from videos online, um, I don't want you to like think that I'm boring or uninteresting or too much different than, than that. There's like

an expectancy violation, but I think even on a smaller level that has nothing to do with that, but most of the time when you're meeting people, I think a lot of the times, um, you want them to think something of you. You want them to think like, Oh, they're funny or smart or hot or whatever, you know, whatever the thing is. And the fear of not being whatever you hoped that you would be to them. It can be very like, it could just be very scary. You know what I mean? Yeah. And that's why that's the number one thing i have to let go of what others think of me you'd be so free yeah it would be we could be so free that would be that would be true freedom there's also the like everyone has a different like lines that they don't like i'm pretty i'll talk about

whatever and then i'm like oh i just like i'm sort of a chronic oversharer. And then I'm like, Oh, I just like, I'm sort of a chronic oversharer. And so then it's like, okay, I meet it like, especially with newer people. It's like towing that line and being like, I wonder if I've crossed and then sitting there being like, I've said something and I wonder what they're thinking of it still. You got to let it go be set free for me it goes to an even more cellular level in like I'm not a very like touchy feely I'm not like I'm a hugger and I like hug everybody I'm like not comfortable with that actively so it's like I struggle immediately upon being around a new person to be like with that.

I guess that's just something I should work on myself with being like, I don't want to hug them. I should hug them. Oh God. Do they want me to hug them? Like I'm not making them feel comfortable. Like this isn't a natural interaction. Like human touches healing.

Like, shouldn't we, but no. And then it's like, I haven't said anything for like a minute. Yeah. Well, and COVID made that worse because there's also like there's the ask and better actually I think worse and better

um worse because there is like this other line that's not just personal comfort that's like if you know someone really well and you're like oh we do hug but you're like well now it's not do we hug it's like can we hug and then there's like that but what it also did was like now there's sort of a more standard like are we gonna like there's more of a like pre-question where people are like what are we doing but are we hugging yeah yeah they're going in they're like are we doing this and you're like yeah i'm a very i'm a very touchy person i love hugs i'm very um also like she'll be very quick to overshare i'll tell anyone anything about me for the most part and covet has made it very hard for me because now i'm like oh god not i also have had to get better about that too because i

have met so many more people in the last couple of years who are not huggers like Sarah. And so now I'm trying to be more like, can we hug? It's not that I'm not a hugger. And I tend to, for the most part, appreciate and am desperately jealous of people who are like, I'm a hugger. Like, I'm so comfortable with this. It just depends on my mood and whether I'm like feeling outgoing or whether I'm feeling like frozen inside of myself.

Yeah. Yeah. Frozen inside of myself. That is a good way to describe social anxiety. I think frozen inside of myself. I'm stealing it. I'm stealing it from Sarah. I'm using it all the time.

I'm writing a book about it. Frozen Inside Myself is actually a Pixar movie that combines Frozen and what's it called? Inside Myself? No, what's it called? It combines Frozen and then that other popular Pixar property, Inside Myself. Inside Out?

Inside Out, yeah. It combines those two blockbuster Pixar franchises. Frozen and Inside Myself. Frozen is Disney, isn't it? I don't know. I've never seen Frozen.

Thank you for your service. Well, when you talk about Let It Go, it makes it really feel like you've seen it. Let it go. Oh, yeah. I'm familiar with that song as well. Who isn't? It really saw its moment. Sarah, what is next on your records?

Okay. I have Sour Candy next. Yeah. Yeah. Do you like it very sour? Because it usually has a sweet core no yeah uh it's i'll be honest you know i'm not into i'm not obsessed with like warheads i'm not like you know with hot sauce hot sauce people being like how hot can it get i'm not like i'm trying

to burn my tongue or whatever i just prefer the sour crystals happening to just like a plain gummy worm gummy bear i like a little sour. Thank you. Thank you. That's the right answer by the way. Thank you. What were those things that were really popular? They were like,

um, sour, like mints, like breath mints, like sour, like hours. Yes. One of those.

And they were, they're not around anymore, right? We used to buy them at target. Yeah. Alkaloid sours were it, but it dog. I T capital. We used to buy them at Target. Yeah. Alkaloid sours were it. They were it, dog. I-T, capital I.

I used to eat them like so much. And then my mom, I've been a vegetarian since I was nine. And my mom once was like, you have to stop eating those. And I was like, why? And she told me me basically they had gelatin in it and gelatin oh has uh like fish bone in it and my mom was like you've been breaking no it's like horse huff yeah there was some there was something in there that my mom was like you better stop you can have a little horse huff wow horse huffs are just like toenails

come on which is disgusting when you think that we're eating it i know and it's in marshmallows Wow. Have a little horse. Horse hooves are just like toenails. Come on. Have a little horse hooves. Which is disgusting when you think that we're eating it. I know. And it's in marshmallows too. I'm sorry. I was actually thinking of icebreaker sours. Icebreaker sours I still eat. Okay.

Yes. Icebreaker sours I recently bought to have in my car. And what I've learned is nobody doesn't like them. Everybody wants one and nobody can have just one. People are getting in my car opening the there's two openings there's the little opening and the big opening everyone opens the little one first closes it opens the big one takes three do you guys ever wonder how we learn certain things about foods like like for example the horse hoof or whatever how the fuck did we figure out that we could do that? Like, like who was the first person to be like, I'm who was the first person that saw like a pig and was like, I, if I put eggs and milk and flour, if I grind this plant into flour and mix it with milk and eggs, cake, like, what are you talking about?

What brought you there? That's crazy. How did we get from just like foraging what we could find and like putting that in the fire to like. To like MSG. Like, how did we get so advanced? I don't know. I'm trying to think.

I don't know if those people get praised. I'm trying to think. What if Sarah did know? And I don't know. What if to think people get paid i'm trying to say i did know and i had like a really detailed answer and was like this is basically how it happened i did hear a very uh inaccurate version of how soup was invented on a podcast a comedy podcast i listened to yesterday where somebody said that they remembered that somebody was like had a cauldron of boiling water and like a rock dropped into it. And they were like, this tastes delicious. And then they said, let's boil other things. But look, I'm just telling you what I heard on a podcast yesterday on a new podcast. I follow this family on Instagram. I'm not proud, but I am doing it.

And they recently talked about Stone Soup, which I think is what you're sort of referring to, which is based on an old fable. And the fable said all these comedy podcasts, every comedy podcast has to talk about Stone Soup. Every single comedy podcast

has their Stone Soup era. Give me more Stone Soup. We're in our Stone Soup era. Don't stop. The fable is that these like knight soldiers came to town and like asked for food. And all the villagers were like, you literally eat with the king. Like we need our food and we're not sharing with you. And they were like, okay, all we need then is the king.

We're just going to make the king's favorite food then. And they were like, okay, all we need then is the king. We're just going to make the king's favorite food then. And it's stone soup. And they were like, all we need is like a circular stone and we put it in the water. And then they're like, God, you know what he likes in his stone soup? And they keep just naming things. And all the villagers are so excited to learn about the king that they keep giving them vegetables until they have this like massive soup that they give to everyone, and everyone eats. Sorry, I got confused. That's okay.

They were getting stones, and then they started being given vegetables? Sarah said, please try again, Shelby. Is that what happened at first? Like people saw people giving them stones, and they were like, I i'm gonna give them a vegetable no they said the king's favorite these are knights okay they know the king yeah i got the status issue there yeah yeah now that we understand status and medieval you have to understand class and medieval so

so these are these are knights and they work with the king. And the villagers are kind of like, Sarah's like, enough of the king. But the king is like really critical. They were like, we need food. And everyone was like, no. And then they were like, okay, no worries. We'll make stone soup.

And it was a farce. They were lying because they were like, all we need is a stone and some water and that'll make stone soup and it was a a farce they were lying because they were like all we need is a stone in some water and that'll make stone soup it's the king's favorite meal and people were like okay we'll give you some rocks they put the rocks in the water and then they were like you know what the king really likes in his stone soup carrots and then people were like oh we can give you some carrots and then they continued to do that until they ended up having this like gorgeous soup and then everyone had it everyone they shared it with the villagers so the people were idiots the people were morons the people did not see through a very obvious lie

that's the moral and i do have to just go back is the rich swindle the poor i have the question who is this quote unquote family you follow on Instagram? Thank you, Sarah. I am happy to give that pre-clout. This is Rudy Jude on Instagram. She lives in Maine. Her husband, Caleb, has seen me share some of their posts. The husband built their house by hand.

Wow. You're following a straight couple on Instagram. Okay. Yeah. Two kids. So cute. They live in rural Maine, coastal rural Maine, and they're just kind of coastal Maine,

not rural Maine. Rural. Does rural inherently mean inland? No, it does not. Okay. So then coastal rural Maine. Um,

and they, she makes all their clothes by hand and like weaves their rugs. And they're just sort of like an interesting follow. She does a lot of mending tutorials. So I watch a lot of those. Sarah, I would love to have a breakdown of everybody that Shelby follows on Instagram,

but we are just, I would, I actually would listen to a podcast that was just people describing everyone who they follow. Describing who they follow. It would be humiliating. Unfortunately, we do not have that luxury. I didn't know it was humiliating until just now. She goes, it would be absolutely fucking humiliating.

No, not that that would be humiliating. It would be humiliating for me to be like, and this is somebody who I don't feel comfortable unfollowing after we had one exchange like three years ago. We hooked up in high school. Yeah. They're all muted. Yeah.

Oh, that's what it should be. It should be interviewing people about the people they've muted on Instagram. Oh my God. You should really do that podcast. And I'm dead ass serious. That's amazing.

Nobody would come clean. That's what you should be called. Come clean. Come clean. Who have you muted? I'd come clean muted i'll tell you right now i have a comedian muted oh i have several comedians muted they just won't stop issuing takes but i have a comedian muted who i think would be very surprised to learn that they're muted and i would never say their name why did you mute them it's me they're yeah yeah they they're extremely close to me no i had to mute them because and i think that this is where most mutes come from the mute function was invented

to address this specific issue i had to mute this person because they are clinically and i would say even medically annoying as fuck and i couldn't keep doing it they have bad takes and they won't stop posting wow my mutes are generally not it's not anything wrong with the other person it's more that they like scratch at like an insecurity i have or something and i'm like i don't you make me think about this and i don't want to mine are all about the other person is that bad no i think that's again that's like being a hugger it's a it's a positive quality it's a positive quality um sarah we are running out of time will you tell us what what we didn't get to

on your records i know we missed a couple things i know i have so many things i'm gonna do it really quick and then you ask me something about something you think is interesting i have social media stan accounts i have enlightened the television show hustlers the film starring J-Lo, Mary-Kate and Ashley VHS's, Kim Cattrall scatting video, and edibles, weed edibles. Fuck. God, and I can talk about so many of these things until the cows come home. What if I said cows come home like a lot? I think you do. I've never said it before.

Hot in Cleveland. I can't tell you another hookup story said hot in cleveland oh i am hot in cleveland okay i want to know i want to know what what what are your like do you i guess i'm guessing you interact with some some taylor stan Taylor Stan accounts? I am obsessed with Stan accounts. I, in the past, have seen, I don't interact with the Taylor Stan accounts. No, I'm not engaging with them. I'm observing them. I first encountered Stan accounts when I was in college and, you know, on my phone scrolling through social media i would scroll through taylor fan stan accounts and i would see some shocking information like i would see one one along those lines one i saw and it was like heartbreaking and also like so fascinating

that you would be reaching out to a pop star it was like taylor like my my mom's being evicted please help like why taylor the eviction's happening and like just reaching out i'm thinking about this eviction not live tweeting the eviction to taylor yeah and it was like it's because i was like like so far deep in the hashtag like starlight which is like which is, like, a major, major B-side of Taylor's. And it's like, what's going on here? And it's suddenly like, Taylor, like, we really need help with this. Taylor, please. They're taking the couch.

We're moving. Yes, exactly. Taylor was in her red era, but her fans were in their being evicted era. That's so sad. That's so sad yeah that's so sad the craziest stan accounts that i've um sort of started to the the tiktok has done something globally and these teens that are on tiktok have these stan accounts that are also people that are like roughly their age that are just like you're getting me through high school and it's like oh my god and it they all these

tiktokers share their stan accounts like religiously like that's like a big part of it i guess and they like ask their they there's like a new relationship with tiktoker and stan accounts where they're like someone make an edit of this and then like every single fan account will be like here's a video compilation i've made of these six pictures you took with your girlfriend it's just like nice that they'd share it and that's like the whole thing or they'll share like a stan account made a video and they'll be like i love this one you're like what well this makes sense because tiktok managed tiktok is all fame no substance in my opinion, and it managed to really amplify that idea. Um, so this makes sense to me that you're like massively interacting with your

accounts where I think people who are famous for being, you know, talented or, um, or, or substance or do substantive things like maybe like writing or acting or whatever. Um, things that are more tangible, I should say, not substantive, I think they would be more embarrassed to interact with their Stan accounts. Yeah, but the Stan accounts will also be like, Caleb liked, Caleb's like four. Which I love, by the way. I'm trying to have that.

If I find a Stan account of me, I'm going to interact with them every day. Well, exactly. I think that having a Stan account is really a sign of status, like the knights in the soup story. Modern day knights are people who have Stan accounts. That's true.

That's just the truth. Hold on. You said some other stuff. Edibles. do you have any like really um powerful edible edible moments um well i don't like getting too high on edibles who does um once when i was in high school i got too high on a brownie and went to the circus and rode my bike home and don't remember that the circus is such a great place to be. I can't go to a sori, I can't go sober. The circus used to like come around. I don't know.

Like I'm from Southern California. I don't know about you guys. The circus really fell off. Yeah. Where the, where's the circus? Like it used to be around. Sorry guys, starting a new podcast called where's the circus. The circus really fell off. It's sort of like cereal, but it's just sort of like a really deep dive

into where the circus went. Absolutely. So I have those bad experiences, but generally I like to just kind of cruise and relax on just a microdose of an edible. Exactly. I'm obsessed. Obsessed.

And you know what? A lot of times they come in sour candy form. Which is huge for you. This is how I'm going to become millionaire Kardashian business woman. I have had edibles that taste so good that I want the whole bag, but I can't have the whole bag because I would die. You're going to invent snacks. I want, no, close. You're going to invent snacks. I want, no, close. You're close.

I want, when you buy an edible, I want the same candy, same flavor, but placebos, and then a separate little tiny bag of the edibles so that when you have one, you can have the rest or some of the others. You just invented snacks. No, it's different. Because there's an edible that is so good and I want the taste of it constantly.

That seems so tricky though because what if they look exactly like the weed ones. But you put them in a tinier little bag inside the bigger bag that is placebos. Sarah, you're forgetting that these ones would be in a tiny bag. You guys don't get it, but I'll tell you what. I'll tell you what, there's somebody who will. Sharks. There's someone who will. I'm going to get

a level of funding. Yes. Good luck. Sarah, thank you for coming on. you've been an incredible guest I think of you as someone of a pop culture connoisseur so it was an honor to have you on my god thank you so much I feel seen

Sarah is there anything we will tell people in or we did tell people in your intro kind of what you're up to but is there anything you want to plug do you you want to tell people where to follow you? You can follow me on social media, you know, you know all the things. And I am really excited about my Audible original that I recorded literally today.

And, you know, look, do I personally listen to fiction audiobooks? No. But I think that you do. Should you listen to Sarah's? Yes! Like this. So I'm excited about it.

It's coming out in May. It's called Zaddy. Exactly. Can't wait. Listen to Zaddy. Everybody go listen to Zaddy. And thank you so much, Sarah. We appreciate you that was a Hiddem original