Keeping Records - I Know That's Right (with Lily Sullivan)

Episode Date: April 15, 2022

The world's teeeeniest podcast hosts (Caleb and Shelby) invite on the tiiiiiniest guest (writer/performer/recent sister wife Lily Sullivan [The Righteous Gemstones, I Think You Should Leave, Comedy Bang Bang!]) to talk about about this parmesan cheese commercial for an hour. They are all so small and so brave. This episode also marks the development of a brand new spinoff podcast, hereafter referred to as a "side pod," wherein one of the hosts or even the guests themselves start their own separate conversation on a topic of their choosing, directly to camera. A real chaotic surround sound experience from the people that brought you the original chaotic stereo sound experience known as Keeping Records. Lily's Artifacts This Italian Commercial for Parmigiano Reggiano (Audio-visual) Huge Ice-filled Glasses of Water (Beverage) The Feeling of When Someone Tells You a Huge Piece of Gossip and You Know You're Gonna Talk About It Together For 5 Hours Straight (Experience) Bridget Jones’s Diary (2001 Film) This TikTok of a baby waking up (Audio-visual) Follow Lily on Twitter and Instagram.  Watch the video version of the episode Follow the show @keepingrecordspod Advertise on Keeping Records via Gumball.fm See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This is a HeadGum Original. In 1977, NASA sent two solid gold records into space so that aliens might find them and understand life on Earth. I send greetings on behalf of the people of our planet. And friendly wishes to all who may encounter this voyager. Now, we're making new records with our friends. Hello everyone! Hello!

Hello and greetings to everyone! Peace be upon you! We step out of our solar system into the universe seeking only peace and friendship. We know full well that our planet and all its inhabitants are but a small part of this immense universe that surrounds us. Hello from the children of planet Earth.

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Can't vote. They called the government. Yeah, well, and everyone here votes for... No. I'm sorry to say that everyone here votes Republican. So we're even scared

when we do get to vote that we'll have to do it the way they do it. Anya votes Republican. Casey votes Republican. Jake and Amir, unfortunately. Jeff, of course. They roll up in their little Miata.

They roll up in the company Miata to the polls. To the polls. And they say, what? Ours are on the ballot. No, I'm kidding. Just kidding. Love you. Love you, boys.

Love you, boys. I know you're watching. Love you, boys. We love you, boys. Jake and Amir. God. We love you, love you boys. Love you boys. I know you're watching. Love you boys. We love you boys. Jake and Amir. God. We love ya. We love you guys.

Jake and Amir. We love ya. We love you. We love you and we couldn't love you more. Marty. We love ya. Jeff, we.

Jeff. So. Hi, Shob. How you doing? Doing. How are you? Busy as all get out. Ew. Just industry, industry, industry.

So, I mean, you name it. So, been busy working, working, working. Just working, you know? That's awesome, King. Yeah, oh my God, I'm I'm going down to I just got a new gig I'm doing I'm playing

Spider-Man on Hollywood Boulevard oh my god yeah I was gonna say I thought you were saying in a new film and I was like

they're doing another but on Hollywood Boulevard is even bigger in a lot of ways yeah well more people will see it exactly that's what I was gonna say

yeah because it's not their choice I'm playing in a theater they have to choose to see you more people will see it. Exactly. That's what I was going to say because it's not their choice. I'm playing fat Spider-Man. In a theater, they have to choose to see you. I'm playing fat gay Spider-Man on Hollywood Boulevard. And we are thrilled to see it. And me and Batman are going to do

some OnlyFans content. On the boulevard. I'm going to top Batman. Ew. I just had a bad audio. I had a bad audio. I had a bad... No, not of you. I had a bad audio. I had a bad, no, not of you.

I had a bad audio mentally thinking about how- Me topping Batman. About how, because Batman talks like, I'm Batman, you know? I'm getting topped by Spider-Man. Well, like how he would sound in bed. Top me, Spider-Man. Like imagine him like moaning.

Yeah, it's like scary. Spider-Man, top me. Can you try something quick? Try and do an impression of Batman. That's daddy right there. I'm sorry. Spider-Man is daddy. Whose ass is that?

Spider-Man's like, it's mine. Who is it? I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Sorry. Sorry. In all seriousness. What were you saying?

Never mind. No, what did you want me to try? No, I don't give a... Right there. That's the spot. Like that. Batman getting fucked. By Spider-Man.

Okay. I hope they heard my spit. Okay. What's new with you, though, girl? For real. Wait, can you quickly try? Yes. Try and do an impression of Batman as Fran Drescher.

So Fran Drescher is doing an impression of Batman. Oh, what's his name? Mr. Shuffield! Where have you been? I once was so stoned like unbelievably high and in my head i got so fixated on the idea that fran drescher could never do a batman impression i was alone in a room trying it okay and it had me i know exactly when this was because i i'm glad twitter hadn't given me the voice notes option yet because i was about was like, people need to hear this.

And then the next day I was like, thank God they had restricted me. Something about the nanny. Well, Fran Drescher as the nanny. A lot of people don't know this. She was the flashy girl from Flushing. And she, when everyone else was wearing tan, she sort of would wear red. I can't tell. I don't know enough to say yes or no.

Fuck. I'm Batman. Top me. Yeah, not top me, Batman. Batman is a bottom. Spider-Man. Do you think Batman is canonically a bottom? No.

No, very much top energy. You know who is a bottom? Say it with me. Iron Man. Iron Man. You think? Yeah, he can't fight for himself. Yeah. Well, the Joker's got can't fight for himself. Yeah.

Well, the Joker's got big bottom energy. Chaotic bottom. Chaotic bisexual bottom. Yeah. Joker. Why so serious, Batman? When you top me? Imagine getting...

Do you know how I got these scars? Imagine fucking someone... Who's from these scars? Imagine fucking someone. Who's from getting fucked. Imagine fucking someone and they go, why so serious? In the middle. Why so serious? He goes, do you know how I got these scars? He pulls up his shirt.

He had top surgery. Top me, Batman. It's so shrill the way that it sounds. He said, why so serious? And then he topped me. He got the scars on his mouth from getting face... From getting face-fucked, I'm sorry to say. Big dick.

Face-fuck me, Batman! Big dick to split your mouth open. I've heard of crazier things. Have you? I can't imagine anything crazier than the dick was so big it split my mouth cheek to cheek. It gave me Joker scars. Why do we talk about sex so much on this podcast? Have you ever thought about that?

Caleb and I are so powerfully attracted to each other. We talk about it constantly. It's like every other second on the podcast. Our guests are literally talking about something. Our guests will be like, oh, the feeling of when you show up to your grandma's house and she baked cookies. And we're like, yeah, you ever fuck a... It's like, what are we doing? We got so sexual.

You brought this one up, I'll say. I bring it up a lot of the time. Yeah. Do we need to just... Do you and I just need to fuck and get it over with? I've been saying that for years. Come here. No, I mean, it is, it really comes up so often.

People who listen to the pod are sexual little perverts. Don't be mean to them. I'm not mean. I love you guys so much, but I'm saying you guys are deviants. And a lot of bottoms, probably. If you had to guess, do you think more of our listeners are bottoms or tops? Bottoms. It's not a bad thing.

Verse. They're all verse. I love you guys. You're all verse. Oh, yeah. I'm sure they are. Everyone's verse until it comes time to do something. I love. Verse. They're all verse. I love you guys. You're all verse. Oh, yeah. I'm sure they are. Everyone's verse until it comes time to do something. I love you guys.

You're all verse. Everyone's verse until it's time to actually do something. And then guess what? I love you guys and you're all verse. It's a lot of bottoming going on. I love that you guys are all verse. You're all verse. Switch.

You guys are all Switch hitters. Top me, Batman. Wouldn't that be funny? There probably is fanfic where they top me. Yeah, I was going to say, a thousand percent, if you were to go on Pornhub right now and be like,

Batman topped by Spider-Man, there's like no less than 14. Who are the two superheroes you want to see fuck the most? And then we got to bring in our guests, I think. I don't know very much about superheroes. I'll start there. I'm going to say right now,

you've already said. So Hulk has to top Ant-Man, but when he's little. But when he's little. Well, that's how you get the lips split open thing. top Ant-Man, but when he's little. But when he's little. Well, that's how you get the lips split open thing. If Hulk topped Ant-Man when he's little, I'm sorry to say, he would be turned into the little ectoplasm thing.

So that's, I think it would be anthropologically interesting to see. Could you imagine trying to fuck someone when they're on little mode? If you were trying to fuck Ant-Man and he went little mode, it would be like, oh god, come here. Come here, you little tick-tack.

Ew, ew, ew. That's how you'd have to do it, but that would hurt him. I think that would feel nice. To do this? To someone who's so small? Have you ever thought about... No, that would be suffocating. Also, you didn't give the lesbian answer, by the way. I don't... Obviously, it should be Catwoman and Wonder Woman. Oh, Wonder Woman. I don't... Obviously, it should be Catwoman and Wonder Woman.

Oh, Wonder Woman. I don't know about superheroes. I don't know about superheroes. Oh my god, are you crying? Yes. I've been wanting to watch superhero movies my whole life. Oh my god. My whole life.

Always the bully I play. No. Well, hey, we're so excited for our guest today. Wow. You can catch her on the upcoming Peacock series, Killing It, out April 14th. Also, you might know her from Righteous Gemstones, Death of 2020. Lonely and Horny. Shrink.

I Think You Should Leave with Tim Robinson. She hosts two podcasts This book changed my life On Comedy Bang Bang Network Comedy Bang Bang World Excuse me And Going Deep On Stitcher

Premium You can also listen to her regularly On Comedy Bang Bang From the world From before Please put your paws Fins

And lips together For our dearest friend Lily Sullivan I harmonized paws, fins, and lips together for our dearest friend Lily Sullivan! I harmonized. Lily Sullivan! Top me. No, we'll cut that. Oh my god!

Ah! What is this? Insane! Literally, how are you? Like, I'm so good. I feel so cozy. Do you? You guys make me feel cozy we didn't even tell you we forgot to do the rundown of the pod for you oh yeah sorry we do that on air i think we know usually we do it off air but i think we just wing it right i think we wing it basically we want to know how you are tell us about this is not a tightly run ship so just it's a loose ship yeah

this ship's going under it's a loose fucking ship um could you get closer to the mic could you try to get closer to the mic for us well I did

COVID test so I can like literally sit on it like this this is when Shelby came on my podcast it was like this

she's like no you have to know why you have to know why and it's she's doing whisper bits it's on she was like can you actually I was like, can you actually? I had to call her by her character name, but I was like, Vicky, can you put the fucking mic out?

You have to know that this is Anya's fault. What? Because Anya says, Anya will be like, you move your mic all the way around, you do all this stuff with your mic. So I'm like. Anya, do you want to defend yourself? I'm so sorry. There's got to be a difference between moving your mic all the way around and being acres away from it. There's got to be a difference.

There's got to be a happy medium. No, she's talking to me. Just where it is is where it is and you have to leave it. Well, I'm not kidding. You're like this. I was holding it in my hand. There was no arm. Yeah, for sure.

There was no arm. We all. It couldn't be that far. My arm's not that long. I'm excited to read my hand. There was no arm. Yeah, for sure. There was no arm. We all. It couldn't be that far. My arm's not that long. I'm excited to read the book. The girls are fighting. And I was like, Shelby. My arm's not that long.

It couldn't have been that far. It was that far. It was that far. You were like this. When girls fight and I'm in the middle of it, I only feel peace. It would be funny to go on someone's podcast and hold life for fun. The girls are fighting. It's a classic cat fight.

What if I had you on mine? It's your all out cat fight brawl. It's over here. The girls are getting wild again. Caleb has a new one. Caleb, would you want me to take my shirt off? The girls have gone wild. I always take my shirt off during podcast recordings.

The co-eds are going wild. What if I started calling you guys co-eds? Would you like that or no? No. Would that be cool? Okay. No. Lily, how do you feel about, and we sort of pitched this the other day, a wet t-shirt

contest with soup? Yeah. Turns you on or no? Like you throw soup at your- Hit yourself, at your fellow competitors. You're in a shirt. Okay, so- And it's soup.

No bra? No bra. No, because you need to be able to get the outline of the nipples and stuff like that. You need to see them nips. You need to see the nipples. And what do you think, if you them nips and what do you think if you're on board what do you think the best soup for it is so it's hot soup it could be gazpacho but i think hot probably for sure but it's warm so the nips are not like ideal they're kind of like

they're not at their coldest they're warmest i would say um i would say well like honestly something like chicken noodle makes me want to fucking barf. The idea of it. What kind of chicken noodle are you thinking of, though? Like, home style? With, like, big pieces of celery? Yeah, like that. And, like, lots of, like, cut-up spaghetti-type noodles.

Do you know what I'm talking about? The, like, inch noodles. Yeah. Whatever that is. What's that about, by the way? It's fucking sick. I don't like that. When they're real small noodles? Oh, the like inch noodles. Yeah. Whatever that is. What's that about, by the way? It's fucking sick. Huh? I don't like that.

When they're real small noodles? If you're going to do that, make it a letter or something. Make it a letter. Make it a shape. Make it a fun shape. Make it a shape. Don't make it like a bunch of little sticks. Squares.

Letters. Numbers. No. Hearts. So anyway, not chicken noodle. Not chicken noodle. I have a question for you. What's a type of person

that you love oh that's such a good question it's so and follow it up with a type of person you hate yeah what's a type of person you love

and a type of person you hate I think I like people who are I don't like people who are just like nice like boring nice oh we're not no

I like people who are like kind of mean but like in a fun way yeah you love us so like you guys yeah we take that we accept that yeah yeah yeah kind but not nice yeah exactly kind but not nice yeah a little a little east coast keep it interesting yeah you're like a little like hard to get to know at first because you guys are just. You guys are just like you. You present like you're an open book.

But I know that there's fucking layers there. And I know I'm gonna have to break those down. That book that's open is the prologue. Yeah. Yeah. Really long. That's very East Coast to me. The beginning.

Like L.A. is like I'm an open book. But you're like you hear everything and you're like this person's delusional. They're like LA is like, I'm an open book, but you're like, you hear everything and you're like, this person's delusional. They're like in a call. Crazy. It's an open book. But the book is, does not make much sense. I went to coffee out here with one of the worst people I've ever met. Oh.

And he warned me about the type of people you'll meet in LA for about 20 minutes. And the whole time I was like, babe, it's you. I was like, you're the guy. You're the people I meet in l.a i'm the person that shouldn't be meeting people in l.a that are bad and you're the bad person that i'm meeting yeah yeah well did you hear that quote or maybe that tweet did you hear that tweet did you read that quote lily trying to participate in the pod did you guys hear that tweet that was sort of did you guys there's this tweet that I heard that was...

But it did say... Did I say this to you the other day? I don't know. I can't know. I gotta tell you, we can't know yet. I'm really excited to find out. Did I say this the other day?

I'll get there. I'll tell you what it is in just a minute. That L.A. is shitty... Or no, New York is fun hell and L.A LA is shitty heaven. Have you heard that? I didn't hear that tweet.

But I think it's true. Did you read that tweet? I don't know if I have interacted with that tweet. I wrote that tweet. Did you? No, Shelby, no. Don't lie. No, I didn't.

I haven't tweeted in a while. I like liars. That's another person that I like. I like liars. Tell us a person you don't like. Tell us a type of person you don't like. Like by name? No, I'm thinking like a category.

Like here's what, I'll say one. Yeah. Just to kind of kick you off. I don't like someone who orders their drink at the coffee shop. Okay. And then goes away for too long of a time. Oh, yeah, I hate that. So that the barista's left being like, white mocha for Josh.

I have a white mocha for Josh. Josh, your white mocha. I'm like, can you, Josh, where the fuck are you? I haven't worked at a coffee shop. Yeah. And here's my question. I think that's really good.

I hate that. I hate that too. How many times are you trained to have to say it? Do you know what I mean? Like, to me, if I worked there, I'd be like, Josh, Josh isn't there.

I put it down, I go away. Well, some of them do that, but some of them have more of a sense of responsibility. But then somebody comes back and they're like screaming about their... And I say, I yelled for Josh. Well, have you worked in the service industry? Yeah, I'm like, this is so much fun.

I've worked at a lot of restaurants. I worked at a lot of restaurants. You have. But I have not worked at a coffee shop. Okay, I've worked at both. Oh my God, Zach. Thank you. Can we actually take a moment of. Oh my God, Zach. Thank you. Can we actually take a moment of silence for that?

Sarah McLaughlin on. Shelby, please don't talk during my moment of silence. I just want to make sure it's scored properly. Just shut up. Just take a moment to appreciate it. That was nice. Yeah, that was really, really beautiful. Thank you.

Thank you for serving. I felt uncomfortable. Absolutely. Did you not? I didn't feel uncomfortable. You probably felt uncomfortable because really, really beautiful. Thank you. Thank you for serving. I felt uncomfortable. Absolutely. Did you not? I didn't feel uncomfortable. You probably felt uncomfortable because Lily was being so mean to you. Shelby, just like, dude,

it didn't feel like you were honoring my career. My career is half. What I was actually doing was begging for it to be properly scored like a cinematic masterpiece. You wanted that to come up in the notes afterward? You thought it had to be comfortable? What if I forgot and Casey then didn't do it?

Shelby. I'm sorry. Shelby's contentious What if I forgot and Casey then didn't do it? Shelby? I'm sorry. Shelby's contentious relationship with Anya and Casey today is so funny to me. Shelby keeps being like, yeah, well, it's Anya's fault that I don't know how to use

the microphone, by the way. Anyway, Lily. Love you, girl. Anyway. Anyway. Lily. I have a person that I don't like. Thank God.

That you reminded me of. Oh, no. No, not like personally. We do not have to do this. We do not have to do this. No, you reminded me with your story about the white mocha for Josh. Okay. I had a guy when I was working at this restaurant.

Sorry. I'm going to brag. I was working at a restaurant and I- One of the many service jobs. Find your camera. Find your camera. Find your camera. Yes, queen! You better find your camera for a reaction.

Yes! I literally watched Lily scan the room. Sometimes when we go straight to camera, I imagine this podcast being edited like The Office. Which is like... The Office is so funny. Curb your enthusiasm like

like can I just can I just say like Dwight I'm so annoyed ew is this a character I'm sorry like I really am

looking for my Pam I'm sick to my stomach like Creed is so weird you know what I said to Tim my fiance and brother and also now husband

I was gonna say didn't you get me I'm getting used to saying it clearly my husband and also now husband. I was going to say, didn't you get married fully? He's saying it clearly. My husband. Brother lover. Brother husband. And my brother, who's also my husband. I said to him that we should, as a joke, obviously, I said we should be Pam and Jim

for Halloween. In 2022. And he felt, he was like, stop saying that. That's so fucked up. And I was like, please, can we just be Pam and Jim? that's so fucked up and I was like please can we just be Pam and Jim that's so fucked up that's so fucked up it's like

such a benign joke it is fucked up for like people in comedy to do that is sickening at this at this stage as well

anyone doing it I would argue is gross to me I would make me physically sick yes honestly I want to put it on if you are doing the Pam and Jim

in this year 2022 you have to live middle on. If you are doing the Pam and Jim in this year 2022, you have to live middle America. Yeah, exactly. You can't be on a coast. No, no, no coast. You cannot be on a coast and be dressed as shit.

I honestly feel like, to be real with you guys, I do feel like the Michael Scott of my office. I'm absolutely this. I just like, at my office, I am like, I'm like the Michael Scott of it.

Also, you guys, I do have to, I'm like the Michael Scott of it. Also, you guys, I do have to cough. Why? In here? I don't know. I have to clear it. Okay, go ahead. This is my Rachel Dratch.

When she did that. I coughed. I feel like I'm having a stroke. I love being in silence. Lily said, I stopped everything and said, I have to cough. Shelby turned to me and said, this is my Rachel Dratch. I'm like, what? I feel like I'm in a Debbie Downer. I feel like I'm in an alternate universe.

I want to talk about the zany characters on The Office and I want to talk about how funny that show is. We brought you here for a reason. zany characters on The Office and I want to talk I want to talk about I want to talk about how funny that show is. Kelly, we brought you here for a reason.

This is the most elitist thing I could do but I'd be like this. Actually, I've only watched The British Office. That's so elitist. Because it's better. Did you ever see

a type of person you hate? I was going to but then you guys interrupted it. Yeah, you worked at a restaurant. Sorry, go ahead. I worked at a restaurant here in Los Angeles. Ah! And, um,

this guy came in, and he, like, charges through the restaurant, and I'm, like, at the very back of it. Bagel boss. And I see him She'll be obsessed with the bagel boss. I'm sorry to report. What the fuck? I'm sorry to report. She brings I'm sorry to report she brings it up at every turn you won't get through

this recording without hearing okay please mention a short person a loud person mention a bagel someone charges in and it's not bagel boss

say breakfast and she's gonna say you guys remember bagel boss she loves it and let's put our and let's put our phone on not vibrate by the way well it's

because I got a family update what the fuck alright Shelby's got a family update. What the fuck? Joey's got a lot of family shit going on right now. Like, actual bad stuff? Yeah, and I tried to be mean about the phone, forgetting that that was kind of going on. Oh, no. But I answer when you call.

True. Guys, like, this story's never going to be told. No, the guy charges in, he's bagel bossed. It's never... You're getting bagel bossed? You're getting bagel bossed. How tall is the guy that charges in? Don't say short. He's tall. No, the guy charges in. He's bagel bossed. It's never. You're getting bagel bossed? You're getting bagel bossed. How tall is the guy that charges in? Don't say short.

He's two. He's tall. Okay, thank God. He charges in all the way to the back of the restaurant. Six two guy charging in. Scary. Like, it's like, the restaurant's only so big. So he goes, like, right by the bathrooms and, like, into the kitchen.

And I'm standing there. And he's, like, he's, like, standing all, like, aggressive. And I was, like, can I help you? He's standing aggressive. Like. I'm sorry. He's standing all aggressive. And I was like, can I help you? He's standing aggressive? I'm sorry. He's standing so aggressive. Shut the fuck up. He's doing this.

He's like this. This is my kitchen now. Like no neck. Yeah. Oh, no. I'm a boss. I was going to say 90 Day Fiance. And he goes, and he's like, yeah, I'm hungry.

Like that with the like, I'm hungry. And I was like, well, if you go, if you actually go back to the host stand at the very front of the restaurant, like she can seat you somewhere. And he goes and turns around and starts like charging away. And I was like, she's just right up there. And he goes, you lost your chance. And he leaves. He leaves. I'm in love with him.

He's charging to and fro. His pride level, I mean, unreal. To go straight to the kitchen in a restaurant and say, I'm hungry. Yeah, didn't end. It's iconic.

Like a baby. That's someone who has a really close relationship with their mom. So feed me. I'm hungry. Yeah, that's how I'm... You lost your chance.

Sorry. And then he's standing aggressively. Your chance. Like you were begging to serve this man. Yeah, like I really, really wanted to serve him some pho. What if you chased him back? And you were like, no, no, no, no, no, please.

Please. Like, please, Sarah. I'll do anything. She'll see you right now. I really want you to buy a pho bong coon. You should do a podcast where you try to find this guy. You interview people and you make a little detective work until you get to him. And then when you finally find him during that episode, you serve him.

Sounds like. When you say, I got my chance. Literally the worst. You end the last episode with just saying, I got my chance. Wow. And then while we're in a studio like this, I bring over a hot bowl of pho. Yeah. All right.

Steaming. Slurp it down. Slurp it down. Slurp it down. You go, how does it taste? You watch him eat every bite. Quiet. You get to the bottom of why he stands the way he stands. There's all kinds of stuff that you do.

Okay. Yeah. I guess I do. I guess I could rewrite a lot of my plans, my five-year plans. Yeah. Well, let's get this in there because I think we could actually probably pitch this today. Yeah. To who? To HeadGum?

HeadGum. He would listen? We would produce. Yeah, Jonathan HeadGum. Mr. HeadGum? Jonathan HeadGum. We'll co-produce. Casey will edit it. You would drive up in the company Miata? Miata? HeadGum has a company Miata. Whoa! Fuck! Yeah, we are not allowed to drive it anymore. We're not allowed to drive it anymore because we hit a couple mailboxes.

Yeah. Do people still have those in LA? Do people still have mailboxes? First of all, we were in the suburbs. I'm sorry. First of all, how dare you? Fuck that, what you just did to me. We were absolutely in the suburbs.

We always are. We were in Glendora. First of all, we were in Glendora, not Glendale. No, Glendora. The sister city. Your Belinda is my favorite. What is that? You know when you're a comedian and you live in a city, you have to have your go-to suburb to say when you're doing a bit?

Mine for LA is your Belinda. And mine for Chicago was Naperville. Or Schaumburg. Yeah, I would, Schaumburg I say. My dad actually visited here. And he, and I, Juliette. Juliette is where my husband and brother is from. My brother lover.

My brother who is my lover is also. What is it like being siblings and lovers? Well, you guys, to be fair to them, they are step. Where's the other camera? Can we make eye contact with number two? Can we find Lily's camera for her?

Because it's getting kind of tiring watching her search. I know where it is. I was trying to make eye contact with one of yours. Oh, you won't be able to get into ours, babe.

I'll make my way. I'll find a way. Set up in such a way. Is this good for a podcast, just talking about angles and cameras? Do people watch the Patreon a lot? Our YouTube has, I want to say, probably a hundred viewers. Oh, okay. Million. Yeah, a hundred million viewers. Six hundred million.

Pretty big. Yeah. Well, I wanted to ask you. We're like the Paul brothers. Do you? Yeah. And, I wanted to ask you. We're like the Paul brothers of podcasts. Yeah. And I'm the one who fights. And I'm the other one. Have you filed your taxes yet this year, Lily? No, I haven't.

I haven't either. I haven't either. It's stressing me out. My accountant reached out this morning. Oh, mine too. And I haven't finished the paperwork. I need to. Mine keeps reaching out and being like,

he's asked me like five times now. I'm sorry if you're listening. I love you guys. But they, but they, they, we do have a friendly relationship, but they keep asking me to have any out of pocket expenses for these three jobs.

And I've told them no, like five times now. So they really want you to have some out of pocket. They want me to have out of pocket expenses, but I don't. Well, when is tax day? Isn't it-

I think it's past. It's in April. Oh. No, it is in April, right? It is in April, but I don't think it's past. I don't think it's past yet. Incredible. I want to say it's the 18th.

This is crazy. It's two weeks. Is it the 18th or something? 18th or 19th. Okay. Hell yeah, brother. I don't understand. This girl's going to pay her taxes.

Lily, you go ahead. Fucking Shelby. Fucking Shelby! This is the second time Lily and I have met. Yeah, This girl's going to pay her taxes. Fucking Shelby. Fucking Shelby! This is the second time Lily and I have met. Yeah, and the first time, I was mean to her the first time, and I'm being mean again. Which you have to be careful, because you don't know this yet, but that's something that really turned Shelby on. Shelby! I will watch somebody treat Shelby like absolute fucking garbage, and Shelby will be like, that was kind of hot.

Caleb is weirdly describing himself. Oh, I'm also into it. You're into it. Yeah, sure. It's nothing personal, Shelby. I'm just like mean to all girls younger than me. You have to assert dominance. That's right.

I'm younger. Shelby, I want you to admit that you're into people being. I did already. Definitely. You like negging? Sure. And pegging. Ooh.

Sure. Okay. What were you saying when Shelby was cutting you off? I'm sorry to say. I don't understand with taxes. Thank you. That's it. Ad break.

Oh, wait. We really need to take an ad break? Oh, throw me an ad break. Welcome back. Shit got weird over break. Really, really weird. Sorry, guys. While you were gone, Casey said that I was too tiny, teeny, tiny, petite to be seen behind the mic. Casey said we're the smallest podcast in the world.

Our hosts are too skinny and our guests are too thin. I'm so small. We're so small. We're so small. We're losing us. I'm going to fall. I need a chair. They're going to lose us on camera because we're so small.

Me and Shelby have to cross our legs because when we put our legs out, they don't touch the ground. Casey and Anya want to hook up with us because we're so thin. We're so teeny, teeny, tiny. Being thin is the most beautiful thing. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

I'm sorry. But it is if you can be. It's good. What? To be thin. I mean. What? People love it, no?

No. People do love it. People love thinness. Society loves it. Because society, culture. So, Lily, but we brought you here for a reason. Yeah, that's true. Oh, whoa.

I had no idea. I know that's right. I know that's right. There's a dance. Well, Lily, we brought you here to ask you if we were making a new golden record and you were in charge what would you put on it what would you put on it what would you put on it what would you put on it sorry sorry go ahead do you want me to talk what would you put on it if you were in charge okay to put on it well so to put on it. If you were in charge. If I was in charge, number one would be this beautiful Italian commercial for Parmigiano-Reggiano.

And say that again. Parmigiano-Reggiano. And you are from Italy. No. Just one more. What? Will you give it to us? I know.

I know. Parmigiano. Parmigiano-Reggiano. Parmigiano-Reggiano. Parmigiano-Reggiano. Parmigiano Parmigiano. Parmigiano Reggiano. Parmigiano Reggiano. Parmigiano Reggiano. Parmigiano Reggiano. Parmigiano Reggiano. Parmigiano. Let's watch.

Hell yeah. And then we just go. No, this rocks, yeah. You're gonna, yeah. Oh my god. Dancing tomatoes. Dancing peppers. Okay, beautiful.

Pasta. Of different shapes. Different. Garlic and onion. Okay. I did clock one of the pasta guys as being fuckable. I was gonna sing along, but not yet. It's kind of a banger.

Do you guys feel like this song is good? It's really good. I think so, too. I was about to be like, what language is this? Obviously Italian. Oh my god, they do their little butt shake. Wait, there's one cow. I love that.

I struggle with things in other languages because I don't know what they're saying. I can tell you for sure at one point they're saying Parmigiano-Reggiano. This part, all they're saying is Parmigiano-Reggiano. That's it. Do you guys want to hear the original song? Yeah. Yes, I do, of course. We got to the dancing garland. I think that's funny. Wait, what? Oh, wait. We got to the dancing garland. Wait, what?

This is a Christmas version. Oh, Christmas tomatoes. They're having a lot of fun. They're having a fucking blast. This can't be an advertisement for Parmesan cheese. It is. They show it so infrequently. The disembodied hand is scary.

Is that okay to say? How do they have the budget? There's a lot that's scary about it. Oh, it's snowing. The hand is one of the scariest parts for me. The hand's because it's all solo. Yeah, it is really kind of. It's the only really hyper-realistic part. Yes.

And it's disembodied. It's really fucked up. Do we want to hear the original song you asked? Oh, and it's a Kirkland brand. Oh, no. No, that's just the next video. They're talking straight up Italiano. Whoa.

Is this a band? So it's an old song. I had no idea. Oh my god, there was a historical context. Is it Russian. I had no idea. Oh my God, there was a historical context. Is it Russian? I had, no. Okay. So this is, doesn't, they don't say Parmigiano-Reggiano in this version.

What is the chorus? I'll find out. Anya, why were your parents listening to non-Russian music? I'm scared. Is it going to make me look bad? Okay. Maria. Maria. I'm scared Is it going to make me look bad? Okay Maria Maria Mama

Mama Maria Mama Mama Mama Maria Bands used to be able to be ugly It's not natural

You didn't have to be hot to have a band The lead singer is pretty This is kind of like Peter, Paul and Mary To be honest If you think about it This is what? Peter, Paul and Mary vibes It's Peter, Paul and Mary From, to be honest, if you think about it. This is what? Peter, Paul, and Mary vibes.

It's Peter, Paul, and Mary from a rural town in Italy. No one in the band is cute, and they don't need to be. She's pretty. She is. I think she probably has a lovely personality. Her haircut and her outfit is confusing. Yeah, but her face. It's giving Italian Tammy Faye.

Her face is pretty. I think she has a beautiful spirit. Thank you. On your business, she's pretty. I honestly don't. She is pretty. think she has a beautiful spirit Thank you Anya Anya's pretty I honestly don't She is pretty What is your problem?

I think she has a wonderful personality I'd love to be friends Sorry to say I don't mind her I'm absolutely And that's okay isn't it? See the thing is The guy on the left

No Lily You're gonna fuck Keys? And that's okay, isn't it? See, the thing is, the guy on the left... No! Lily! You're gonna fuck Keys? You know that he would be nice. Oh, I think they would. I would love to hang out and do maybe like dinner with them. No.

The thing is, the guy on the right, that guy, everyone expects you to fuck that guy. Right, but the one on the left. That's why you fuck the guy on the left. Because he's Yeah. Everyone expects you to fuck that guy. Right, but the one on the left. But that's why you fuck the guy on the left. Because he's so broken down. He would be so grateful. He's so happy to be there. He'll do whatever you want. Jesus Christ.

I think that's assault. Oh, who? He's happy to be there. He's so broken down. He'll do whatever you want. That's insane. But that's what society did to him. That's true.

I mean, no, he'll be into the sex, but you're like, this is what I'm into. And he's like, I'll do whatever you want. He literally would be so grateful to spend the night with you. He would be like, what can I do? Right. And we didn't break him down. Society broke him down. It's not our fault.

We're just capitalizing on it. We're bringing him back to life, honestly. I think we can have enough of them. I think we've had plenty of them. Maria, Maria, Maria, Maria. I think my ultimate take on them is they seem like lovely people. I'd love to maybe do dinner or we could do like a board game night. Oh my god.

Well, wow. I had no idea that there was an original version of this song. So thank you, Anya. Wow. What do you think an alien... I had no idea that there was an original version of this song, so thank you, Anya. Wow. What do you think an alien seeing the dancing foods would think? Yeah. Do you worry about that? You've seen the commercial of the aliens watching...

It may come down. They think eggplants dance. They think tomatoes... I'm not really worried about that part. I think... I reject that wholesale. And here's why. And here's why.

I think... First of all, I think that they would be, I think it's got a beautiful sentiment because it shows you that food is living and food is alive as well. And that they can work together to make something really special. And yes, is it a little dark that they're essentially about to cook themselves all together? I mean, yeah, sort of trotted off to slaughter. They're literally all going to commit suicide together in a pot. Jump into the pot, yeah.

Sausage party vibes. Sausage party vibes. Yeah, exactly. And then the Parmigiano-Reggiano is just sort of this beautiful topping of love. And then the Parmigiano-Reggiano. And then the Parmigiano-Reggiano is obviously. And then what I think intellectually is that the Parmigiano-Romano is obviously. And then I think intellectually is that the Parmigiano-Romano is actually. When I think about.

Well, first of all, I like this commercial not only because of the content. The song is amazing. I sing it all the time, to be honest. That sounds awesome. That sounds awesome. I'm so glad you're doing that. And I think the aliens would really like it. And then I think-

I think so. Clearly, it's this beautiful show. It's a really fun- They're all in these cool costumes. I'm trying. And finally, Parmigiano-Vargino is a really good- And then finally, you take a look at Parmigiano-Reggiano, and that's actually so beautiful, right? I actually had a professor once who told me intellectually that Parmigiano-Reggiano is...

We talked about it in class. It doesn't feel theological. They said that actually Parmigiano-Reggiano touches different parts of your taste buds. They said that actually there's different versions of Parmigiano-Reggiano in every country when you actually think about it. The way you push the sides of your mouth back when you're very violent. Parmigiano-Reggiano in every country when you actually think about it. The way you push the sides of your mouth back when you're very violent. Parmigiano-Reggiano. It's like you're a killer. Have you ever killed?

Not a human. Scarier than saying no. Scarier than saying no or yes, by the way. Scarier than saying yes? I think so. Okay. Yeah. Disagree. But we can have those disagreements. Not a human. um scary scarier than saying yes I think so okay yeah disagree but we can have those disagreements

not a human not a animal a bug but I killed a spider last night by me

telling mama mia you killed a what last night a spider you killed a spider yeah they're actually really

necessary for our ecosystem you don't kill them They're actually really necessary for our ecosystem. What the fuck? You don't kill them? No, they're really necessary for our ecosystem. I mean, shut up. Shut up. Last, okay, this was in, before Thanksgiving. Oh, sorry again. That's enough.

I don't, I don't. It's so funny. Sorry. I don't I don't I don't I don't I don't I don't I don't I don't I don't I don't I don't I don't I don't I don't I don't I don't I don't I don't I don't I don't I think it's so funny sorry

you sorry oh sorry listen listen up yeah before Thanksgiving

in the middle of the night some spider Thanksgiving for the listeners that don't know it's a holiday shut up Shelby

bit me on the neck for the listeners that don't know, is a holiday. Shut up, Chubby! Bit me on the neck. No. Huge. Three, like, massive bites. They're, like, huge. Right? On my neck.

I have to go to Thanksgiving with them. Well, you shouldn't be so tasty, maybe. Thank you. Sorry. I'm fucking delicious. Yeah, maybe you shouldn't be so tasty. Sweet like sugar. And they didn't go away until, I'm not kidding.

The spiders or the bites? The bites. Okay. The spiders. You've got the spider around. The bites didn't go away until literally like a month ago. And we're in April. What? What bit me?

What bit me? I got bit by a spider once on my eyelid. What the fuck was it? Could have been any number of things. Snake. Nobody cares. Snake? Nobody cares the fuck was it? Could have been any number of things. Snake. Nobody cares about my spider bite. Could have been snake. Could have been a CIA plant or something. Could have been snake. Not a snake. Could have been snake.

Could have been snake. And that can be okay. What are you talking about? Sorry, Shelby's doing a side pod. Which is something we've started doing. As if this wasn't chaotic enough, we've started doing side pod. I had said something about the spider bite on my eyelid once, and then nobody,

so then I was telling them about it. I mean, this is the kind of show we run. I really need to talk to camera one at some point. That's where the money is. We run a podcast where if you're not enjoying the overall conversation, I guess in the last couple weeks decided now you can just start a separate podcast to camera. You had the most fucked up childhood, dude. Jesus Christ, a month. Because it swelled completely shut.

Oh, my God. Are there pictures? No. But have you ever seen the picture of... Yes. But, okay. There's no pictures. Have you ever seen the picture of Shelby drowning?

What? Shelby drowning is one of my all-time favorite pictures. Anya, if I texted you, can you put it on the screen? No. Okay. Email it to me. Well, okay. That's sort of a trip, but no worries.

She'll be drowning. I'm just kind of turning into an entire production to talk about the picture. Well, I guess I can fill time and say that one of our building managers, speaking of animals and stuff. Oh, my God. Every time he comes over to fix a window or something, he tells me how different animals kill humans. He'll be like,

well, bears, they eat your guts first. But a tiger would rip your head off and then it goes to town on your body. And I'm like, hanging out in my house. Deal, no offense. Why does he know and why does he share? I don't know. But he'm like, hanging out in my house. Like, what the fuck? Deal, no offense. Why does he know and why does he share?

I don't know. But he really feels like he needs to tell me. It's happened more than once. It's too late. I'm already in the email. You guys have an extremely special relationship,

which is beautiful. It's pretty cool. Maybe you guys could have him on the pod. There's one receipt. You're kidding, but that actually is my dream. We wanted to have this woman

on the pod who we... Oh my God, she sold us some chairs. He met this woman. You guys are like, no, what did she actually do? She sold us some chairs. She sold us some chairs in the valley. This woman was one of the most unhinged individuals I've ever met.

We ended up hanging out over there for a little bit. A long time. Oh my God. Longer than we should have, I'll say. At her house? Her boyfriend actually followed us home. It's where she lives. say. At her house? Her boyfriend actually followed us home. It's where she lives. It's not her house.

Her boyfriend did follow us home. I had to bring some of the stuff. We let him into our house. It's her parents' house that they- They passed. Oh, wow. And may they rest in peace. I think that you said that.

She lives there and she makes all of her money off of selling. She finds furniture and paints it. I keep accidentally scrolling past. Whoa. And then she sells it to people. And that's what she does. So we went in and it's like a whole,

there's like a big pool and then there's just tons of furniture out there. That's insane. And she's like, which one do you want? And we're like, we'll take those.

She was really trying to get us to watch a TV show. Oh, what was it? I'll never remember. It was on a game. I know it had some, it was on Amazon Prime and it had to do with like,

the Animal Kingdom. It was something. Animal Kingdom or? She was really crazy. She talked to us for probably 25 minutes about her favorite TV show and she was like,

you guys have to promise me I'll watch it. And text me and maybe we can get wine and talk about it. No. How old is she? In her 50s?

I want to say she's either 37 or 63. And there's almost no way to know. Okay, there's going to be two pictures from Anya. Okay. I do not remember. We should ask her to be two pictures from Anya. Okay. I do have a number.

We should ask her to be on the pod. 100%. Yeah, that sounds good. There's one that is when I was not doing great with the swimming, and then there's one of me trying to get out of the pool. Oh, my God. How old are you with these? And I'm not doing great with the swimming.

You'll see. She's drowning. You'll see. Not doing great with the swimming. She's fully drowning. I You'll see. Not doing great this morning. She's fully drowning. I need to see. And we'll put this on Instagram or whatever. No, go to the other one.

Go to the other one first. Sorry. Can we put it up here at all? I mean, the way and then yeah clinging to the side zoom into me if you can oh my god it's so good oh the face oh no this this having just escaped the jaws of death i'm so. Can we get a zoom in on the other one as well? I would love to see the other one zoomed in. That is insane. Yeah, no. That is insane.

I'm sorry. It looks like you're going like. Well, if you go up to the swim instructor's face, too, she is not watching. Checked out. Checked out, dog. She is not looking. She is letting me do my little thing, girl. No.

Ready to let you die. She said. And I said. As I float to the bottom of the pool. She said. Float to the bottom of the pool. She said. Float to the bottom of the pool. Sunk. Yeah, my parents often were doing that.

There's the picture of me falling. Well, they're artists. The picture of me falling off the horse. Oh, my God. I mean, you had the most fucked up childhood. Shelby literally every day is like, oh, yeah. And then there was that time that I was kidnapped in Mozambique, and I'm like what the fuck is going on?

Shelby. What's up? I survived it all. Poor, sweet little Shelby. And you're stronger for it. And I'm so strong but I'm so little. But we should be strong. So little. But I'm so small, it's crazy how small I am. The reason so many bad things happen to me is because I'm so little. Everyone wants to hook up with me because I'm so

small and strong. People think they can kind of I'm falling into the is because I'm so little. Everyone wants to hook up with me because I'm so small and strong. People think they can kind of... I'm falling into the crack. I'm practically disappearing. Pretty soon you're not going to see me because I'm going to be inside the crack between the couch and the couch. I'm so small it's medically an issue. It's becoming medically an issue. I'm so small.

The doctors are saying that maybe one day I'll disappear altogether. I'm disappearing into nothing. I'm so small. Is this bad? Are we going to get... Are people going to not like that? I don nothing. I'm so small. Is this bad? Are we going to get, are people going to not like that? I don't worry about that so much. I don't know.

I guess I don't know what about me disappearing would be a bad thing. Yeah. It's just, well, I guess what, for me, it's the, it's the minimizing.

It's, it's the way you guys are making light of. This is what the comments are going to be like. It's the making light of an eating disorder for me. That's what it's going to be like if someone does get mad. But I like to think of us just getting so small, like actually small. Yeah. Going tiny mode.

They're going tiny mode. Yeah. They're going tiny mode. Which is another way to describe eating disorders. I'm tiny mode. I'm tiny mode. I can say what I want. Going tiny mode is a cute way to describe eating disorders. I've had them all! I can say what I want! Going tiny mode

is a cute way to say that. It's really cute. Or you can go big mode. There are different kinds of them. So what? I'm curious what my mode is. Oh, I'd say your regular mode. Your Lily mode. Everyone has their own mode. Oh, really? Your Lily mode. When you just go yourself mode, that's the most beautiful

mode to be in. I'm Alan mode. Alan mode. When you just go yourself mode, that's the most beautiful mode to be in. I'm Alan mode. Alan mode. I'm so pissed off. Are you sick? I'm Wobbegon. Taking a bag. Lily, what's next on your record?

We've got about six minutes left. Let's get into it. This one is really controversial, to be honest. Because I think that water gets a really bad rap lately. Yeah. But I'm going to go ahead and say that aliens with like huge ice-filled glasses of water. Huge ice or huge glasses? Huge glasses with little ice.

No, no. Like sonic ice? A lot of little pieces of ice. Sonic ice. Yes. Thank you. Sonic ice is something so magical. Yeah, like that. So I'll start there. A lot of little pieces of ice. Sonic Ice. Yes. Thank you. Sonic Ice is something so magical. Yeah, like that. So I'll start there.

Yeah, so that's the ice. You know when you've had water, there's... Water doesn't always taste the same, first of all. Yes, no, it doesn't. And second of all, even the same water, same brand, whatever, in a different context can taste... I recently had a glass of water that I was like, this will change my literal life. The different kinds of water that there are. There's pH balances and stuff.

No, she's right. But I was wondering, I was kind of, sorry, I was hoping that you would keep going. I had nothing else to say. Oh, fine. No, I was just joining the side pod. Oh, what do you want to talk about on our side? So, yeah, the little glass of water. Actually, you said it was

a big glass. It is a big glass. I don't know. Now I'm in the mode of everything is tiny. Everything's so small. This is when you take the potion and I was in Wonderland. We're in like the little... Yeah, right, right, right. No, but just to get back because this is really important. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Sorry. You guys understand that like, you know how everyone's like, I don't drink water.

It's like a trendy thing to say that they don't drink water. Is it? My dad hates water. Yeah, everyone like hates water. It has been a real trip and a half right now. My dad is sick and they keep being like, he needs to take water and he will not touch it unless it's juice. King. He needs to take water.

King. He'll be like, he. King. He needs to take water. He'll be like he needs water he's dehydrated and they'll like try and give him water and he'll just go and you have to give him juice. That's my king.

That's my boy. I mean a lot of people never drink it which I I'm seeing them a really annoying trend on the opposite side

where every day I see a viral tweet like let's hydrate babes and I'm like which is also insane. Can I say something that I I subscribe to that I drink way too much and I pee constantly. I think it's good also insane can I say something that I I subscribe to that

I drink way too much and I pee constantly I think it's good to drink a lot of water I'll start there I pee all the time but what I really can't get on board with

and I can't stop this is a problem I have where I just keep peeing and I she was doing a side pod this is a side pod she was doing a side pod so are you okay

because a side pod's only cool if it's not actually concerning. But if you're peeing constantly. Are you peeing right now? Are any of our fault? We actually, we do have doctor fans. You have doctor fans? Everyone that listens to this podcast has a terminal degree in their field. Terminal?

Terminal. Degree. They're going to die. They're so good at what they do. They're going to die. They're so good at what they do. That they're so good at what they do that's actually

really good you put that on a resume bam bam I'm so good at what I'm gonna do it's gonna kill me I'm gonna die doing marketing I'll say

a part of social media that's driving me nuts is the like stop scrolling it's the Shelby go off time no it's the stop scrolling have you like gotten enough sleep tonight or something?

Oh, yeah. I don't like that. Take a deep breath with me. I passed something today that was like, let's get grump. Sorry, take off the part where I pretended to shoot myself in the head. And then take off the part where he names it. Stop scrolling. Have you stretched?

No, bitch. I get to decide. Today there was one that was like, stop scrolling. Let's get grounded together. And I was one that was like, stop scrolling. Take a deep breath. Let's get grounded together. And I was like, let's get grounded together? I have some friends who have transitioned from acting. It's a different thing.

They've transitioned from acting into breath work. Yeah. And life coaching. Yeah, life coaching. It always goes that way, doesn't it? It does. And I'm waiting for my transition. I'm sure it'll happen at some point that I'm just going to be like, hey, guys, today we're all going to take a big, deep breath. Whoa.

And we're going to drink 40 gallons of water. I want you to close your eyes, take a deep breath, and feel each finger. Like, what? And then a lot of like, you're doing enough. You know what really bothers me? You are enough. It's always people who aren't doing enough that want to a lot of like, you're doing enough. You know what really bothers me? You are enough. It's always people who aren't doing enough that want to tell you that. I'm not doing enough.

And also, they'll be like, I love you. People who aren't doing enough love to tell you you're doing enough. They do. And they'll be like, I love you. You're amazing. It's like, you know nothing about me. You have no idea who I am. We wouldn't get along.

I know that. You do not love me because we would not get along. If you quit acting, you don't have to do life coaching and breath work. You could also do real estate. So the two, those are the two people who quit comedy or acting. They get to do breath work and life coaching or they get to do real estate. You're right. Yep.

Yep. And it's beautiful. It's gorgeous. I don't like when people, I also didn't like there was a trend. I'll do, I'll do a Shelby going off moment. Okay, please. When people were like on social media. Shelby goes off, off, off,

off, off, off. The beginning of the pandemic when people were like, let's all agree not to be productive during this time. I was like, I will not fail alongside you. I was like, I will not. You were like, I'm writing King Lear.

I'm writing King Lear. I'm sorry. There was the first thing when they started bringing up King Lear. I'm writing King Lear. I'm sorry. No, I didn't. There was the first thing when they started bringing up King Lear. Because that's what started it. People were being like, just so you guys know, and then right after that, people were like,

we don't all have to write King Lear. It's like, yeah, no, none of us are going to write King Lear. But some of us could do something. Yeah. People were going too far with it. I'm bored as hell. What the hell do you want me to do?

It's the same as you've done enough culture. It's like, I haven't done anything today. I know. It's a weird... I did jack shit today. I'm literally insane here. It's like, first thing I do in the morning, I'm waking up, I'm on my phone, I'm scrolling, and they're like, you can lay down today.

I'm like... I can't. Honestly, when I see it, it makes me be like, no. I am going gonna be more productive Just out of spite For this stupid fucking post Shit if I followed your advice Yeah exactly

Yeah I have depression I am I don't need you to tell me I can do less Yeah I I suck I suck And I know

I'm fucking sick She says I'm sick You're amazing And I love you And you say Bitch And I love you

I love you I love you Parmigiano Parmigiano Parmigiano, parmigiano. Parmigiano, parmigiano. What's your guys' favorite, Julia? No, no. No, sorry.

We actually have to talk about your records. I love that you're sitting in ice water. You like that? That's beautiful, actually. Because also, aliens might get thirsty. Fuck. Can I ask a question about aliens to you guys? Hold on one really quickly.

Yes, no. It's your podcast. Aliens are enough. I'm feeling bad that I jumped on stopping you to hear that. I'm feeling bad that I helped out. Guys, aliens are valid. Are brave. I hate to go off one more time, but I have to. Okay.

Lily, hold on one second. Well, I do scientists, and I know they're smarter than me, don't. Oh, my God. Don't bring up scientists. Oh, my God. Shelby, not again. She's always doing this. But why are scientists saying, like, that planet can have life because it has water?

Isn't it possible that aliens don't need water? That they don't need what humans need to live? So, this is a really good question for me, especially because I'm mostly a scientist, actually. We're pulling at threads we shouldn't be pulling at. Really? This drives me nuts. Every time they're like,

we saw traces of water on Mars, so they could have life. It's like, they could have life regardless. They might not need water. Okay, so Shelby, obviously you don't know a lot about aliens. Oh, my God. And I actually do know so much. So aliens, obviously you don't know a lot about aliens. Oh my God. And I actually do know so much.

So aliens, some of them, yes, some of them are beep boop bop and they don't need water. But most of them need water. It's a really rare instance when they don't. Thank you. And I want to make sure I'm getting this right. Beep boop bop. Yeah, some of them beep boop bop. Don't need water.

Beep boop bop. No water for me. Most of boop bop. Don't need water. Beep boop bop. No water for me. But most of them are like, some of them are a little NSYNC. Beep boop bop, but don't need. I just want to call out because I'm trying to do better about calling out how I'm feeling in the moment. This is the second time I feel like I'm having a stroke on the pod. I look to my left and my right and all I'm hearing is noises.

Beep boop bop. Beep boop bop. That's what's happening on either side of me today. At my. Did you see Arrival? Arrival with. Amy. Mark Wahlberg was in Arrival and he played. No.

Yeah, he played a cop. That's Departure. He played a cop in Boston. That's Departure. Departure. Opposite of arrival. Departed. I don't know movies.

Just immediately give up. I don't know movies and I don't have to. I don't know movies, so I'm not going to try. No, what's arrival? With Amy Adams and the aliens. Oh aliens oh yeah it's big cylindrical yeah so the aliens they are like that that's that's basically what just so you know that's some fiction no that's a fiction that's a fiction hold on you want to see something funny? Shall we do a British accent? No. Please.

What do I have to say? Say, say, going down to the pub, mate. Going down to the pub, mate. Oh, that actually wasn't bad. So she's been practicing. What's up? Going down to the pub, mate. Going down to the pub, mate.

See, if someone says something, I can copy them. It's when you ask me to do it on my own. Say something different. Don't have anything to say. Say, can I get a cup of joe? Trained professional Now I'm stressed, by the way. Now all of a sudden I'm stressed.

Going down to the Watford Joe? Can I get a cup of joe? Going down to the pub, can I get a cup of joe? Was that it? No, no, no, no. I was just telling you what happened in my brain. Oh, yeah.

Action. Can I get a cup of joe? Oh. What I have learned is you've at least learned to do it quicker. Yeah, well, I don't want to get shit. There's not a lot of room for notes. Yeah, exactly. Do you guys think that it's controversial to do British accents?

No, I think it's a celebration of culture. I call it doing British face. I call it going British mode. We can't have that on there. We're going UK mode. That sounds fun. We go British mode, yeah. Yeah, British mode.

You can go British mode. They don't care. Yeah. Sorry. You can't do United Kingdom face. That's funny. All right, what's next on your record? What's next on your record?

Okay, so next up is a feeling. Thank God. And this feeling is when you're, okay, when you meet up with a friend and they have like a really either like big piece of gossip to tell you or like just went through some kind of like drama. Like they broke up with somebody or whatever. And they're sitting down with you and being like, we got to talk. And like you come over and you guys know you're going to like hash this out for like five, six hours. Probably going to drink a lot of wine. And you are like kind of like detectives all of a sudden.

You're like want to know every detail and like analyze it. That feeling, pure gold. It's beautiful and it doesn't come around often enough. I think so too, especially lately because of COVID. Yeah.

Because of COVID. Because of COVID, there wasn't a lot of drama to start and if there was, people were keeping it tight-lipped. Yes. People were breaking up in silence. And also,

Zoom drama just didn't suffice. It was like, what are we doing? Yeah. When bad things happen to me now, I get a little excited because I'm like, I always have something to talk about.

Yeah. I'm like, oh, my dad passed, but I'm like, well, it's going to be something to talk about for a while.

It's like, oh, it's really sad and it's hurting, it's bad, but it's like, oh, well, it's, you be something to talk about for a while. It's like, oh, it's really sad and it's hurting, it's bad, but it's like, oh, well,

it's, you know. Yeah. You know every conversation you go into for at least a couple weeks, you're like, there's something

to fall back on. Yeah, that's very true. Or break up or something, you know. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

There is also something about being in that space where like, you're kind of, especially if it's someone you're, it has to be someone you're very close to, by the way.

of course. Where like, sort of there's no limits on what you're allowed to say about people. You're like, we get to be mean and it's consequence- way. Yes, of course. Where, like, sort of there's no limits on what you're allowed to say about people. You're like, we get to be mean, and it's consequenceless. Yes. And you basically end up repeating yourself, I think.

Like... He told me good job after saying that. She already said that, and I'm like... Shelby, good job. Good job. You were killing it, girl. Really. Good today. I usually need at least two men to tell me good job a day. It's true. And I I know that and I'm happy to be that Casey's gonna say it after the podcast

I'd love a good job too I would love one good job you're doing great everyone's doing great I have to tell you guys when we get off the recording and we're out of this room and I know that we're far away from the mics I have to tell you the spiciest piece of celebrity drama I've heard in years in years and I hear a lot of it. Because it's just around

being around town. But I'll tell you, this is the... Did I tell you this one already? I don't think. Oh my god. No. Oh my god. I can't. Once we're out of this room and there's no mics, I can't wait to hear you guys talk about this. Oh, I cannot wait. Okay. Listeners, I'm so sorry, but due to legal reasons and also work reasons, I cannot bring this up here.

But just know that these two are gonna know. Yeah. Are gonna know. And if you follow me on Twitter, I cannot bring this up here, but just know that these two are going to know. And if you follow me on Twitter, I will be sharing every single detail that Caleb says on a big thread. Lily hosts a space. Lily hosts a space.

I hung out with Caleb Heron today and he told me some stuff. Thread emoji. One of 45. One of 45. Exactly. Ruining the friendship. Friendship's over. It's done. It's done. This podcast never gets put up. This week we've been really doing work on this friendship and to tear it down so quickly. This week has been good for our friendship. Yeah, it really has been

huge for us. Yeah. I was wondering you know, like, how this was gonna go and like, whether or not, like, we were gonna take it to the next step and I think after this, like, we'll see. I think after this, like, we'll see. I think after this, yeah. I think now we have a bunch of data.

Let's go away for a while and sift through it. Let's go ahead and mull it over. On our own. I'm going to be in mull mode. Go in mull mode. I'm going data sifting mode about this friendship. I'm going in mull mode. Sounds like you're saying mall mode.

Mall mode. You're going to go to Auntie Anne's and then walk around a bunch. I'm going mall mode. Mall mode. Do you guys remember when Billie Eilish, and say what you want about her. Low energy, but she can sing. Yeah. She made a video during COVID.

What? People are literally almost explicitly celebrating. Say what you want about me until you're absolutely silent. Wildly criticized. Say what you want about me. Low energy.

One of the most celebrated artists of our time. Some strange outfits. She can sing. So she made that music video. Creative genius. Like a 14 or whatever.

And you can say whatever you want about her. Okay, what the fuck? We don't want to you want about her. Okay, what the fuck? We don't want to say anything about her. You can criticize her until the cows come home,

but the girl can sing. So she made that music video. What is the point? Say what you want about her. Say what you want about her brother. I don't care. Well, her brother is...

Okay, I struck gold. Yay! Her brother is... Okay, I struck old me. Her brother is actively wanting to have... There's a romance between the two of them, I would say. Really? Like me and him? Well, his girlfriend looks exactly like her. And when they sang a duet at the Oscars, I said, there is sparks.

They have something unique. Yeah. But, Billie, come on the podcast. Prove me wrong. As someone who has fucked her brother on TV, I say go for it, Billy. Phineas, come on the pod. No, but say whatever you want about her. She can sing, and she put out that.

Jesus Christ. What is the point? She put out that video in COVID where she was, like, running around the empty mall. I thought that was brilliant, and people have their ideas about it. I thought it was brilliant. That's it? That's the story? Something about the energy

of you telling this is making me feel like really on edge and stressed. No. I think it's because I'm playing a guy who assumes conflict. Exactly.

So I'm like, see what you're about to... I thought it was brilliant. I thought it was. I don't know what it's doing but it is not good for me. What did you smell? No, I just thought we would kiss.

Do you guys kiss? Do you guys? Whoa. As friends. Have we kissed? Well, that's two different questions. No, not have you kissed. Do you kiss?

Do we kiss? Yeah. And are you wondering as friends or in another way? Well, I mean, here's my question, I guess. Yeah. I assume you've kissed as friends. Okay. But, and I don't think that there's like a romance.

Huh. But I feel like you've kissed in another way than that. Sorry. Just so I'm clear. You think that we've kissed in a way that wasn't friendship or romance. Yeah, I think you've kissed in between. In a confusing moment. Like a coworker.

Coworker. Coworker. We do play lovers in a lot of different projects. Do you watch A24 movies? There's four separate ones. I feel like we're on a date now. There's four separate A24 movies

where Shelby and I play lovers. Whoa. Yeah. Four. Yeah, we go movies which I'll be a night by lovers. Whoa. Yeah. Four. Yeah. We go back and forth on who tops, who bottoms. And two of them actually won't come out for another 10 years

because they're doing sort of a boyhood thing where we have to kiss once a year every year for 10 years and see how it changes. Seems so worth it. I can't wait to see why. Can I tell you something? Huh?

It's not worth it. The first two have been really clinical. So. We've been doing it for two years. It's only been two years. So how many more years do I have to wait? Eight. Eight.

And then the editing, so probably 10. Yeah, 10. Around 10. It could be 12, because there'll be a marketing period. And then it depends. I mean, who knows what the world's going to be like then. Yeah. So it'll be, you know, if industry's moving faster or slower, or like if we're all done.

Oh, well, yeah. For sure. No oh well yeah for sure no I know for sure I mean there is something interesting to be said about like in eight years like maybe that kiss will be in a post-apocalyptic

world you know the industry is back though that's so beautiful because the industry just ebbs and flows kind of with the world like depending on where you're at

with the world but the industry's back right now the way? I would say the industry is back right now I would say the industry is fully enforced right now

but we never know when it's going to not be enforced exactly so you kind of just have to let it go with and so for us like every year there at least needs to be one day of industry so because absolutely and like tonight for example like i have a party i'm going to like a premiere for like an industry thing yeah so like industry wise like that's just like sort of like what's happening right now but like may not be happening like in a few years just like in a okay i was just saying i'm going to i was wondering if

we're going to be the same thing and we'll absolutely no but that's and i was also and i was also invited to both things that you're both going to you can't wrap your worth up in the industry because it changes so much you have to have your worth in other things like family and friends so the thing is is like you are enough and you've done enough you are enough and you've done enough and hey let's just breathe. Let's just ground it together. Let's get grounded together. Drink water.

That's a big one actually that pops up. It is, I know. It makes me sick. Let's take a sip of water together. Well, fuck. We should probably. Wait, Lily,

what's something you would delete from the records? What's something so embarrassing all together that you would delete it all together in humanity? You delete it all together from humanity.

Okay, well, I guess, I mean, I hope that this is framed this way. I think when people cut their toenails in anywhere other than

the bathroom, it's horrifying. Can I ask one clarifying question? And I'm on board with you so far. This is not, but any other room in the house is off limits as well? Yeah. Okay. Because, but any other room in the house is off limits as well. Yeah.

Okay. Because, especially if you're living with someone else, if you're in a studio, okay, fine. Or like a one bedroom and it's only you. I actually think if you're a studio,

it's worse to do it in any room. That's your kitchen, your bedroom, your living room. If you're in a five bedroom, it's like do it in one of the bedrooms and who cares? Yeah, right.

Exactly. It's like do it, I guess do it in your own? Yeah, right. Exactly. It's like do it, I guess do it in your own personal space. That, yes. Can I ask a clarifying question? Yeah. I have those nail clippers

that have the catcher. That catch it? It catch it. Can I do it anywhere? No. Because I would be scared that it would fly. Like they fly.

It always catches it. There's no way it always catches it. It always catches it and I will also say to you this. No. It actually makes me want to fucking vomit the idea that there's like a collection of your nail but if that's even worse just see them all in one place you just don't keep your clippings also wait i'm gonna add one other thing sorry can i ask you one more question what i just want to know what all is off limits for you so I can tell if I agree or not.

I used to do the free ball clippers with no catcher and I used to do it on the porch so that it was just outside. Porch is okay. Porch is okay. But then a roommate of mine told me. No. You need to be careful because if someone wanted to frame you for a crime, they could come and get those.

You can't trace from your nails. Yeah, you can. No, there's no DNA in there. Unless you got skin on there. But if it's just nails. You probably got skin on your nails. You got skin on it though. Not, you can. No, there's no DNA in your... Unless you got skin on there, but if you're... If it's just nails... You probably got skin on your nails. You got skin on it, though. Not at the edge. Wait, but wouldn't... There's no DNA in a nail.

Someone's gonna frame you for a crime, like, they're gonna take your toenail... Take your nail. And they're gonna be like... And there'll be some skin on there. And they're gonna frame you for a crime. Give be some skin on there. And then they're going to pay me for crying. Give me some skin. What? Paranoid roommate said this?

You never lived with people? You know how people are. You know how roommates are. Caleb said this to himself. I would say porch is fine. Porch is fine. The problem with. Porch is safe.

The problem with any other room in the house is not only that they're flying around, though. It's that, like, say you're doing it in the living room. Yeah. Roommate comes in, wants to watch TV. You're clipping your toenails. Sick. It's happened to me. It's happened to me.

It's happened to me. Obviously, it's coming from a place of deep personal pain. It's happened to me. Yeah, worse things have happened. It happened to me once, and I'll never fucking forget it. Lily is crying really hard. My roommate, I walked in, and she was clipping her toenails and also eating. No, she was not?

Yeah. Now that I can't abide. There was food in the area, and she was clipping her toenails. Disgusting. Because they can fly. Of course they can. Well, you keep saying that. Figures are all collected in your stick little- Well, I keep saying that. I've never seen that.

All collected in your stick little. Well, I keep a keeper. I use the ones with the keeper on it. And one of my friends actually was eating at the restaurant that I worked at. And she had a salad and there was a fingernail in it. No. That's the restaurant you worked at? Yeah.

And you were like, I'm sorry. People found fucked up shit. A lot? Yeah, a lot of the time. And it's a really popular restaurant and a lot of slubs eat there. Say the name off to the side. We'll do our off to the side. I'll tell you later.

And somebody one time, I served them and they found a screw in their salad. And I was like, oh, God, like, I'm so sorry. And I kind of was like just so shocked that I went back to the kitchen. I was like, I don't understand why there's a screw in this person's salad. And it was like a shaved salad. And it had come off of the little like mandolin. And so then I went back and I was like relieved because I was like, oh, it just came off of the mandolin when they were like shaving the. Right.

Like whatever. We don't give a fuck. Exactly. I was like, oh, it just came off of the mandolin when they were shaving the lake. And they're like, we don't give a fuck. Exactly. The other person was still absolutely horrified. Like, I don't care. They were like, okay, it was in my salad. And I was like, oh, right. It's not normal to be finding shit in your food.

But for me, it's become normal. But here it is, baby. It's kind of normal. You said there was something else that you also hate. Oh, I was going to say just teeth jewelry. Thank you. I don't like it either. Have you ever heard of it? Yes. You like it? Really? I kind of fuck

with it. I really hate it. It's not for me. I can never pull it off. It always to me looks like there's something stuck in your tooth. I never think it looks good. Oh, no. I mean like jewelry like with that has teeth. People wear teeth. I have seen this on Etsy. No, this is a classic who's on first moment.

We're in such different places. Isn't it? So Shelby just insulted one of our friends for no reason is what you're saying. She took hers off. She didn't. Yes, she did. She got it back? Yeah. She said, I'm done with this for good. What's she wearing these days? Well, before she had like seven.

Right? Are you going to get in trouble? No. Shelby's in big trouble. I'm going to text her and say, she knows I don't like them because when she got them off, I messaged her about it. That's why I love her. That's the old ball and chain.

She said, I'm done with these for good. I said, now that they're gone, I want to say I think this is a good move for us all. I think you guys should kiss. That's just so nice. Someday we will. Again. Someday we will again. Hey, Lily, having you on was so special.

We've really come to the end of our time. Wait, there's two more things. I know. You have to tell them kind of quickly. Okay, okay, okay. Well, Bridget Jones's diary, I just think it's... Massive.

It doesn't age well, but man, does it hit the spot for a rom-com for me. Well, kind of what we were talking about earlier. Yeah. Being thin is good. Being thin is good. And that's the message. Yes, it's not a good message.

But rom-com wise, like Hugh Grant is hot. Really? For me. Can I say in the undoing? Not. You really upset me. Yeah, it was bad.

It was bad. Young Hugh Grant, I like. Sure. Current Hugh Grant, I could celebrate him sort of living alone. When did it start? When did it stop for you? I don't know. The undoing definitely made a hard stop,

but I hadn't really seen him in anything before that. He took a long break, and I think the undoing told me that had its merits. Yeah. Yeah. Okay, we don't have to keep talking, but I want you guys to see the next one. Okay.

I'm leading the pod now. Yeah, this is yours. Well, and I deserve that. Yeah, you do. Okay. I'm leading the pod now. Yeah, this is yours. Well, and I deserve that. Yeah, you do. Okay. Here we've got a TikTok from the application TikTok. Oh, my God. I don't like it.

I do. Oh my God. So this TikTok. I love it. To me, and you love it as well, I think. I have so many things to say about it. First of all, that baby has a full mouth of teeth. Yes. Yeah.

It's a newborn with teeth. It has a full mouth of teeth. Yes. Yeah. It's a newborn with teeth. It has a whole mouth of teeth. It sure does. She might smell breastfeed. Which is really hard to watch. She might smell breastfeed. That's the scariest part. Yeah, yeah.

I think she does. Ow. Yeah, ow. Yucky. Okay, second of all, I feel like I'm both the- Milk rods. Not milk rods. Rods of milk.

We found out that it can come out as rods. What? We found out on the can come out as rods What? We found out on the pod recently In an episode with Tam That sometimes it can harden It can spoil in the nipple And then it can come out It's just like rods

Ew like Like if you're playing with like Play-Doh or something Or like Yes Cheese whiz The part that if you spray a little bit too much And it just hangs out of the side And then dries

Like a chalky Like a chalky little rod Come out as like a rod Of rotten milk I'm fucking sick. Well, imagine those teeth going to town on one of those milk rods. And then you can sort of exist in the space that I'm in.

I thought that was horrible to watch. I think that baby knows something it shouldn't. I think it's absolutely possessed. I do think the baby's a little too wise. Okay, so this is why I like this. The baby has a full mouth of teeth. It's voice is horrifying. It's like,

How do you sleep? I'm sorry. If it was my baby, I'd return it. She goes, How do you sleep? How do you sleep? How do you sleep, mommy? How do you sleep?

Good morning, mommy. How do you sleep? Oh my God. Imagine all lights you sleep? Good morning, mommy. How you sleep? Oh, my God. Imagine all lights are off. You're alone in your house. You hear that. Good morning, mommy. It's literally like a Chucky.

It's a Chucky vibe. It's a Chucky vibe. Everyone listening to the podcast, close your eyes right now. You're alone in your house. Imagine. And you just hear, good morning, mommy. How'd you sleep? Yours was a little.

And it's not, how'd you sleep? It's, how you sleep?'d you sleep yours was a little it's and it's not how'd you sleep it's how you sleep how you sleep how you sleep mommy how you sleep mommy it's holding a knife it's holding a knife but like the i also feel like it's oddly like... You said he? Because I also wasn't sure about that. I said I feel like it. I'm going to call the baby it. Okay, thank you. I feel most comfortable with that because I don't know. They.

We don't know. They. They have a knife. Well, no, actually the baby's name is Lily. That's the other fun thing. Doesn't mean anything to me. No, I know, but I'm just saying that's kind of fun oh it's fun that the name is Lily

yeah the baby's name is Lily because of your name because my name is Lily today's guest is Lily Sullivan Jesus you might know her did you guys forget was I forgettable today

on the pod not at all was I not at all why don't you ask why don't you just do a little plea to the listeners hey guys

it's me Lily um hey let me, Lily. Lily's the guest on the pod today. Let me know in the comments what you thought about me today and make sure it's nice. And also, if you guys need anything,

you can tweet at me and stuff and I will tweet back. What would they need that they're going to be tweeting at you for? Can I tell you guys something for real? It hurts so bad that she's like, I'll tweet back because that's sort of how we became friends. I'll tweet back anyone. I don't care. I just really tweeted at them

and then they finally had me on the pod so you can do that too. Lily says, all you need to do is tweet at me and I respond to everyone despite if I like them or not. Takes nothing. No bar. Literally anyone can just walk in. Chat away. You can walk into my Twitter mentions any time of day and chat away. No, I think the baby is scary. I didn't like the baby. She really

is wise beyond her age. Asking someone how you slept. That's something how you how you slept. That's something that you need to learn at 18. Older. Yeah. Older. 18.

17, 18. When you get to start drinking coffee you get to ask about sleep. Yeah. But I have to say like it kind of similar to the Italiano Parmigiano-Reggiano.

Italiano Parmigiano-Reggiano. Italiano Parmigiano-Reggiano. Italiano Parmigiano-Reggiano. Italiano Parmigiano-Reggiano. Ma, ma, ma. It's really fun to talk in that. Ma, ma, ma. Pa, pa, pa. And this is stroke number three. Pa, pa, pa.

Parmigiano. Just so we're clear. How long has it been? Like four hours? Seven. How long have we been in here? We've been here seven hours. Now that there's AC,

we may never, the episodes are probably going to get longer. Just to make the listeners, you'll probably have the episodes get longer now that we're not, the episodes are probably going to get longer. Just the listeners, you'll probably have the episodes get longer now that we're not in fear for our lives being in the studio. Last week we had to end it

because I was getting woozy. I got an IV after last week's episode. Are you guys visibly sweaty? Oh, you bet. Caleb started calling me gravy face. That's an exaggeration. No, it is not. For half the pot, he was calling me Grave, Gravy, Graves.

Grave? G-Money. No, you requested that I call you G-Money, and I explicitly denied the request. And you said, I'll be calling you Grave, Gravy. Well, it was so much fun having you on. Guys, thanks for having me. You are a perfect guest, and this is a perfect episode, I think. Oh, my God.

Instant classic. Thank you so much. Instant classic. I can't wait for it to come out. It'll be soon. Do you want to tell the people where they can find you? Yes. Hey guys, so you can find me online at L-I-L-Y-Y-I-L-Y

Super easy. From Regina Regeno. L-I-L-Y-Y-L-I-L-Y L-I-L-Y L-I-L-Y Y-I-L-Y-Y-L-I-L-Y? L-I-L-Y. L-I-L-Y-Y-I-L-Y. Lily Yilly? Yeah.

Okay. I've never actually broken it down visually. I've always saw it say Lily Lily. It's hard because I can't get rid of it, but that's what it's been. L-I-L-Y-Y-I-L-Y. Lily, will you also look into your camera and say, Hey, Keeping Records heads, it's Lily Sullivan and I'm joining the fam. Sorry, I'm kidding. We've never had anyone do that.

Let's be done. Let's be done with the episode. And I'm joining the fam. Hey, Keeping Records heads, I'm Lily Sullivan and I'm joining the fam. Say, hey, Lil Freaks. That is our pod, people. How cute. Our fans are Lil Freaks.

Let's get out of here. I don't want to do it. Hey, Lil Freaks. I don't want to do it. We're done. We're fucking done. I don't want to do promo stuff. That is our pod, people. Aw, cute. Our fans are little freaks. Let's get out of here. I don't want to do... Hey, little freaks. I don't want to do... We're done. We're fucking done. I don't want to do promo stuff. It was a joke.

Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye.