Keeping Records - The Bay Area Rave Scene (with Natasha Leggero and Moshe Kasher)

Episode Date: May 27, 2022

The place: a grim, dimly-lit warehouse in Oakland. The year: 1999. Our hero, known to most simply as “DJ Moshe,” a prolific local techno disc jockey, prepares to square off against his enemy, DJ E. Moshe, in an underground battle for house-music-scene domination. How does this tale of high stakes adventure end? Does our hero prevail as the greatest selector the Bay Area has ever known? Or does he get into comedy, fall in love with Natasha Leggero, and together stop by the Headgum studios to send the best Earth has to offer into space? Don't want to spoil it but tune in to find out. Natasha + Moshe's Artifacts: Hot Springs (Natural Phenomenon) Camping (Experience) RVs (Vehicle) Follow Natasha on Twitter and Instagram, and follow Moshe on Twitter and Instagram. Watch the video version of the episode Follow the show @keepingrecordspod Advertise on Keeping Records via Gumball.fm See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This is a HeadGum Original. In 1977, NASA sent two solid gold records into space, so that aliens might find them and understand life on Earth. I send greetings on behalf of the people of our planet. And friendly wishes to all who may encounter this voyager. Now, we're making new records with our friends. Hello everyone! Hello!

Hello and greetings to everyone! Peace be upon you! We step out of our solar system into the universe seeking only peace and friendship. We know full well that our planet and all its inhabitants are but a small part of this immense universe that surrounds us. Hello from the children of planet Earth. You know when a guy's broke, he fucks better. Guys with money got other stuff going on. Well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well.

Shelby. Caleb. I was just saying before we started recording. That when someone's broke, they fuck better. People who are broke fuck better. Right. You get a little bit of money, all of a sudden. You're a little lazier.

You're a little lazier because it's like, oh, I could, you know, I could always get on the phone with my accountant or something. And that would be more enjoyable than sex. You got other stuff to do. Oh, yeah, I could go, oh, I could always get on the phone with my accountant or something. And that would be more enjoyable than sex. You've got other stuff to do. Oh, yeah, I could go, oh, I'm going to go make more money. When you're broke, your life depends on it. It might be the only good thing that happens to you in a week. Well, it's like money can't buy you happiness. Money can kind of buy you happiness.

And when you're broke, it's like, I can't buy happiness. I have to fuck for happiness. When you have to get up and go to work tomorrow, you fuck different. Because it's – You're like, this has got to – This is all I have. This has got to feel good. This tomorrow, you fuck different. Because it's. You're like, this is. This is all I have. This has got to feel good. This is all I, yeah.

Because I'm clocking in tomorrow. Ugh. Yeah. But when you got a little, when you got a little, I could quit my job if I really had two money, all of a sudden, it's like, ah. When you have that little. Section of medium. That little, that little, that little.

Isn't that just like, I don't know what? Isn't that what that means? ne sais quoi. That little je ne sais quoi. Isn't that just like I don't know what? Isn't that what that means? That, um, como se dice? Je ne sais quoi. I don't know what it means. Is it like chutzpah? No, I think je ne sais quoi is I don't know what. Genuinely.

Genuinely it translates to I don't know what. Correct. Nice. Ding, ding, ding. Are you smarter than a fifth grader? Ding, ding, ding. Are you smarter than a fifth grader? Ding, ding, ding. Are you smarter than a fifth grader? What does je ne sais quoi translate to literally?

Is it chutzpah? Is it como se dice? Is it I don't know what? It's I don't know what. Ding, ding, ding. It's I don't know what. You've won a 2011 Ford Taurus. This thing runs bad,

but at the end of the day, it's better than not having a car. This thing does not run well, and it is not good to look at. But boy, oh boy, is it a car. There's a lot of things about this thing, but the one thing that's true is it's a car.

If a car can't drive, do you still call it a car? Well, if a tree falls in the wood and no one's there to hear it, does it. If a car can't drive, do you still call it a car? Well, if a tree falls in the wood and no one's there to hear it, does it still make a noise? I mean... And also, to that same extent,

how much wood... Could a woodchuck chuck a full woodchuck could chuck wood? If Peter Pepper picked a pack of pickled peppers, how many pickled peppers did Peter Pepper pick?

You actually... Did that wrong? You actually did kind of body that. I will say, you actually did kind of body that. Okay. Red leather, yellow leather, red leather, yellow leather. Unique New York.

Unique New York. Unique New York. What do you think is your biggest flaw? Personality. Have I ever told you? I'm sure I have. About the guy who told me on a dating app that I'm probably a six if personality counts. You have told me that, but I forgot.

And it haunts me because I messaged him back and said. Was I higher in the personality brought me down? Was I a 10 and the personality brought me down? Or was I a zero and the personality brought me up? And he never messaged me back. That is. He should be arrested for murder. I'm telling you, this was years ago,

and I think of it multiple times a week. This is something that haunts me. It haunts me. It should haunt you. That's haunting. Yeah. Anyway, I'm really excited about our guests today. I am too.

I see them. They just walked in. They brought their kids. It really is crazy what presence they have. They have great presence, especially when they walk through a door with a window by it and we can see them. And they brought their child with them.

And I don't think the child will be on, but know that if it was up to me. The child would make an appearance. Child would tell us what's on the records for sure. Make some noise, listeners at home. Put your paws, fins, and flippers together for our friends and your soon-to-be friends. Very talented. Very funny. Natasha Leggero.

And Moshe Kasher. Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Let's get them in here. Let's see if we can get an episode. It'll be really nice to see them and talk to them.

And you're going to be- I love it. Someone on the YouTube, and you can leave this in, someone on the YouTube commented that Moona could have been one episode. I know. It's like, yeah, it could have, but it would have been two hours, babe. That would be long, babe. Dude, I got the DJ console.

I saw. Yeah. I saw the board. And I'm loving life. Caleb, it is so annoying. I saw that you're implicating your daughter in the... He is probably doing dishes, and it's pumping. Pumping bass.

You got, like, the best speaker ever. Like, we didn't used to have good speakers in the house when I would just put on Sonos. But now like he's got them like it's like thudding through the house. And it's a lot. You're doing like EDM. Yeah. It's not even EDM though. It's like 90s techno.

You know what he's into? He's into like obscure 90s techno. No, it's brand new techno and it is obscure because I don't do anything. It's brand new techno because I'm making it new now. No, I'm getting, you wouldn't, you don't want to get into this, but are we going? Is this podcast happening? I can't get down. We'll use this. What do you guys think of techno?

I, here's what I'll tell you. You know what? I recently had to confront my feelings about techno because I was looking for places in LA that are open past 2 a.m. I was like, if I want to stay out until. I love that, like the other night, the last time you invited us out, you were like meeting at 11 or midnight. I'm like, what?

No, never. We show up, you know, I come out with us and you guys were like, ooh, what time? Maybe like seven or eight. We're like, we're going to meet up at 1030. We like to go dancing at seven or eight. No, it was not 1030. I was going to get singed. It was 11.

Well, that's when the floor's open. There's no one else there. Parenting hasn't changed us at all. We just, we like to get to a pump and nightclub at about 7 p.m. And we wrap things up by about 8.15. And it is bumping at seven, by the way. Yeah. It's changed us at all. We like to get to a pumping nightclub at about 7 p.m. And we wrap things up by about 8.15. And it is bumping at 7, by the way. It's bumping at 7. We go get soup at like a Caro's, and then it's time for bed.

I was looking, and you, Moshe, might like this. The only places I could find that were open past 2 a.m. Are really. Like EDM, like literal nightclubs. Do they do the one that's like the singing, you know, like when you're at the W Hotel and it's like there's a DJ having like a party? No, I didn't see any of those. She nags me so hard. It's crazy.

The other day I go, you know, I think I might – because I got this new DJ console. But, you know, I used to DJ when I was a young person. And I took like 20 years off and then I got it again and I was like playing around. I was like, oh, my God. I think I'm maybe good at this. And I told Natasha, I think I'm maybe good at this and I told Natasha, I think I might be talented still and she goes, she goes,

I believe strongly in the Malcolm Gladwell's 10,000 hours theory and I just think it's a little childish of you to try to dedicate that kind of time to some,

what you were. I was just trying to help you. No. Well, you were like, because Moshe wants me to watch him DJ. Like,

he's legitimately serious about it at home like by yourself so I wasn't sure and he's kind of good yeah exactly thank you but he's a little good

so I'm like maybe he is taking this seriously so I just wanted to make sure right if he was so bad you'd support it because it's like this isn't going anywhere you're good enough

that she's afraid it could go somewhere and that will change her life like significantly no look you have kids I have kid I have kids.

I have kids. She seems really into it. She's actually much more supportive. That wasn't two people? No, but she's much more supportive of my DJing career, and I would call it a career at this point, than Natasha is, for sure. I mean, there's no question that Natasha is jealous of the fact that I finally found something that I love.

I'll be like, honey, where's daddy? She's like, he's upstairs DJing. The only reason daddy can't do a good night's work. I guess to me, I didn't realize, and this is maybe me being naive about the DJ culture, but I didn't realize that you did that at home alone. I thought you only did that at kids. That's what the movie Home Alone is literally about.

Yeah, I was like, when you're DJing, you have to be with people. I never thought you were in the attic being like. Yeah, you're right. Well, what's the difference, Moshe? Between what? Between what we're talking about. Diplo's not just at home DJing.

Do you think that Van Halen only played when he got to the Shoreline Amphitheater? Oh, my God. What are you talking about? You practiced. Natasha, what you're feeling and understanding is Moshe's the Van Halen of DJing. Thank you. Somebody finally said it, and I realized that the other day. Now, Natasha said to me, I don't really understand what DJing is.

It sounds like that ignorance reigns supreme on this podcast. She's having the ox cord. Yeah, to me. She's having the ox cord. So Natasha says, I don't really understand what you're even doing. So I said, why do you come up and watch? I'm not like downstairs while she's trying to do something

she cares about going like, honey, would you mind coming up? DJing the dishes could be fun. DJing the dishes. It's a similar vibe because they're circular. Right, now you're doing dishes together.

There's a vibe in the kitchen. That's right. I told you you were good at scratching today. What more do you want? Scratch. It was music to my ears. It was electronic music to my ears.

Natasha's jealousy of Moshe does come out a lot. It's crazy. I have to say, honestly, I'm jealous that he has hobbies. He has like so many hobbies. He's like really into surfing. Because I feel like all my time is dedicated to parenting or my career.

And then I have a relationship. Well, he's considering DJ as a career. The career and the parenting. You know, it was my career path before I became a comedian. In fact. Moshe loves surfing. You were always telling jokes over there.

That's right. He loves DJing. I recently loved DJing. You have a lot of hobbies. You should go to like Electric Forest. I'm not a hobby person either. Isn't that camping and DJing? Artists don't need hobbies, honey. That would be fun.

Don't you feel that you want one, though? I'm constantly kind of being like, oh, I'm going to take a piano class or something. Piano, swimming, and tennis. Those are my dreams. Why don't we do it? I don't know. I've been trying to play tennis, but not enough people play it. And the problem with tennis is—

Somebody doesn't like playing tennis with me. I want to learn more. Well, Caleb is good at tennis, but he thinks I think he's bad. The problem is Caleb is Caleb is, Caleb only knows how to splice the ball. So every time I play with Caleb, I have to sprint to the net.

I can only play like a shark. You can't do like punting. That's fun. No, I only know how to cut it. That's all I know. Who wants to play with him? It's not fun to play with. I'm on her team.

Shelby doesn't like playing with me. I'm like, um, no. But if you, but if we were to play doubles, I would be like, definitely play against the net. Like, I would love to play with you on my team because you can, the way he cuts it down. I just want to volley for like playing with me. I'm like, um, no. But if you, but if we were to play doubles, I would be like, definitely play against the net. Like, I would love to play with you on my team

because you can, the way he cuts it down. I just want to volley for like a half hour. I want that too. I'm not capable of it. Just the two of us, it's like, I mean,

what are we even doing? I only know how to go for the kill and I'm being dead ass serious. I do not have the ability to, Shelby's actually good. Let's all get good and then we'll knock some balls around when we get better.

Well, I just, all I, when I, you lost me when you said splice, because I was just thinking about cutting and splicing on records. I've been kind of thinking about that this whole time. You just zoned in. That's kind of where I'm at.

Just in it. I wouldn't say I'm the Van Halen of DJing. I would say I'm the Williams sisters of DJing. The Federer. Nobody has never heard of them. The Federer. The Williams, Serena and Venus. Wait, what?

Oh, I was thinking musicians. I got a little, I got very scared that they didn't exist. I was like, what? You said it weird. It wasn't true. My next question was going to be, were they the ones who did Raining Men? It's Raining Men. I was like, is that them?

Because that was a sister. Wasn't that sisters? It's raining men. Hallelujah. Pointer sisters, maybe? I'm the pointer sisters. I'm the pointer sisters of DJ. Who said it's R It's raining men. Hallelujah. Pointer sisters maybe? I'm the pointer sisters. I'm the pointer sisters of DJ. Who said it's raining men?

It's the weather girls. The weather girls. The women sisters. Girls are often sisters. Wait, that was a one-hit wonder? From the same parents, they're often sisters. Girls are often sisters. Often, but not always.

It doesn't always happen like that. And I'm really grateful that we live in a world where it's not mandated anymore. Right. If you, as a girl, see another girl who is not your blood sister, she can many times become your sister through... And sometimes your blood sister can be socializing. Through periods and sight syncing up. Through periods and scissoring, you can become blood sisters with anyone. You become blood sisters when you sync up your periods.

Is that what this podcast is about? We mostly talk about menstruation. Okay, great. So good. We mostly talk about menstruation. As much as. So good. We mostly talk about menstruation. As much as we can. By the way, can I do something real quick? Do you mind?

Yeah. Menstruate? What are you? You tuned into the Keeping Records podcast here on the HeadGum Network. Why did you want to do that? I just felt like I wanted to do it. I just felt like the right time. What are you talking about?

I don't get it. You've tuned into the Keeping Records podcast here on the HeadGum Network. Hi, everyone, and thanks for tuning in to the Keeping Records podcast. Oh, you think you have a good voice? Is that what it is? No. Wait, Caleb has a nice voice, but I don't. I just don't.

Oh, you want to show. Okay, yeah. For those of you who are just joining us, this is the Keeping Records podcast on the HeadGum Network. I mean, obviously. Oh, that felt good. Thank you. Thank you.

I thought so, too. For those of you who just turned in, you're listening to the Keeping Records. Turned in? I don't know. Oh, this is only for people that just went to bed. Turned. Tuned in. This is an answer.

Tuned in. I'm sorry. It's a bedtime pod. For those of you that are just tuning in or turning in, this is the Keeping Records podcast. I have a question for you guys. Yeah? Let me ask you guys a little question. Do you guys ever come to despise or do you love?

I'm not trying to lead you into one particular way. I'm genuinely curious. Being asked to do things together. Like being asked to be on shows together or podcasts together. I love it. It shouldn't offend you, but it does offend me because this is about me. No, it's not. I'll tell you what it's about. I 100% prefer it, love it. This shouldn't offend you, but it does offend me because this is about me. No, it's not. I'll tell you what I don't.

I 100% prefer it, love it. I mean, yeah, I like to do stuff by myself too. Yeah. I like to do acting without Moshe next to me. Yeah. You know, but everything else. I'll tell you what I don't. Because then we get to travel together.

Okay. Right. I am with Natasha. I like doing stuff with her. I'll tell you what I don't like is when people ask me to do stand-up shows and then they ask me if Natasha's available. That's annoying. Or what's Moshe's schedule or, you know. I often do this performative text back where I go, oh, yeah, I'm not really sure.

You might want to hit her up. Yeah. But it's like she's literally sitting next to me. It's like I could very easily just go. Like we have enough going on. Right, but you're not a booking agent. Like we're trying to figure out what, you know, spices are expired in our kitchen to like create less mess. And I feel like I'm going on. We're trying to figure out what spices are expired in our kitchen to create less mess. And I feel like I'm going psycho all the time with cleaning.

I can't also deal with that. Yeah, you guys are not each other's assistants. Yeah, I have so many things I need from Moshe. Yeah. I can't go into other people's. I've got like ten things I'm waiting to ask him. You know what I mean? At any given time. But he's on the board, so you've got to wait for him to get off the mixing board. 10 things I'm waiting to ask him. You know what I mean? At any given time.

But he's on the board, so you've got to wait for him to get off the mixing board. Exactly. I can't add to it. All she would have to do is upload a track on Serato with all of those questions. I'll download it. I'll throw it on the ones and twos and I'll be able to answer it. Natasha gets really, really into DJing only to get to-do lists out to you. We're on like text threads with friends and sometimes I'm like asking him a question and he's not responding to me, but he's responding to the text thread I'm on with him.

I'm like sending memes to the text thread and she's like, what the fuck? But I'm like trying to get like scheduling, you know, so anyway, yes, that is one of the problems. And actually, for me, that is one of the issues even when people don't ask, just having to figure out our schedule together is very hard. Because when you're a person by yourself, you're like, so you're traveling so light through the world. Oh, my life is easy. Is it? My life is very hard. Because when you're a person by yourself, you're traveling so light through the world. It's easy. I don't have anything. You don't have to talk to anyone.

I don't have a partner. I don't have a kid. I don't really have a job most of the time. I kind of go wherever. Well, you know where your job is. The Keeping Records podcast. You're on head gum. I have to think about child care, I have to think about childcare. I have to think about Moshe's schedule.

He doesn't keep an eye calendar except maybe he has because I've tried to shame him publicly so many times for that. But like, all of it, like, I feel like ever since I met you,

we'll just be hanging out and he's like, fuck. I'm supposed to be, I'm supposed to be boarding a plane or I'm supposed to be doing a podcast right now

or I'm supposed, you know, like I can't do that next week. So it's like that is just kind of who he is. And then I'm kind of absorbing that and then my own schedule and then having a kid. So there's like a lot. And then also as a mom being in charge of who's in charge of the kid. She's pretty booked up. I would say my daughter keeps a fucking tight eye cow.

She's booked, honey. Yeah, you know how young people are really good at the interface of TikTok now? Yeah. The way she is with iCal. And older people are a little confused by it. She's like that, but with iCal. She just gets it. She's scheduling her own play dates.

Yeah, she really gets the interface. She's putting in an extremely native user. She's responding maybe to a lot of events. She is a native user. I will say, if you started sending Moshe voice notes of the questions you have about your guys' life, like, hey, I need you to so-and-so at 4 o'clock or what's this, and then you started using them in DJing to mix beats, I would actually be genuinely intrigued as fuck by that.

I would love that. Whatever genre he's focused in and zeroed in on for playing the DJ tracks, I don't like. And so it's always on. Who are your influences? Who are my influences? As a DJ? I wish it was.. And so it's always on. Who are your influences? Who are my influences? Ben Halen. As a DJ? I wish it was,

I could deal with Ben Halen. Venus and Serena Williams. You want me to be sincere? They would be good. Do you want sincerity? I'm asking, I'm trying to figure out what kind of music you're making.

Here's the deal. I, it's like, I, I was a rave promoter and a DJ when I was a teenager in the 90s. In Oakland. In Oakland. Yeah. That was a big part of my life a DJ when I was a teenager in the 90s.

In Oakland. In Oakland. Yeah. That was a big part of my life. I left it behind through a very complicated and emotionally interesting series of events. One of the funnier – the end thing was I started going to raves when I was like 16 and I started throwing them when I was like 17 and I became – Sober too. I was sober at the time and I,

sure, I'll agree. And I became a rave promoter and it was a big part of my life. And I thought maybe I would become a professional DJ like a, like for the rest of my life kind of thing. Cause I had a little bit of a name as a DJ in the Bay area at that time. And then that story is that his DJ name was, hold on.

This is what I'm getting to. I always want to just cut. You're like, you're cutting to the point. You're giving close notes. You're giving long. So that was a big part of my life. I really wanted to do it. And then slowly, like, the scene changed over and a bunch of really strange things happened

that I started to lose track. I did sort of age out. Honestly, when I started going to raves when I was 16, I was the youngest person by far in the scene. And everybody else was, you know, was like 25. That was the median age. By the time I stopped going to raves, the median age was like 16 and I was 25. And so the demographics had flipped and I was starting to feel uncomfortable. And there was a lot of different stuff happening.

This is not the age I thought people were at raves. You thought they were what? You thought younger or older? Older. Older. I thought there were nine. 16. I thought You thought they were what? You thought younger or older? Older. Older. I thought there were nine. 16. Yeah.

I thought raves were. For nine-year-olds. Well, this was the early 2000s. This was the early 2000s, too, so things really sort of changed when music festival culture started to happen. I mean, all they asked is who your influence is. Well, I'm trying to. I am interested in the post-9-11 raves in the Bay Area. Well, I hadn't gotten there, Caleb.

You're doing what Natasha always does. Then the Twin Towers were hit. Everything changed. Our Twin Towers fell. Suddenly the demographic, the median age was 47 at raves. We were like, what are your influences? And Moshe was like,

well, when our two beautiful towers fell on that day, the impact on the Bay Area rave scene cannot be... So there were these two fellas that started taking flying lessons in and around the Oakland rave. Do you want to know something crazy? You guys might have seen this. I don't know. I might have mentioned it here before. Listeners, if this is not new to you, this is who I am. Keep your mouth

shut. Don't be in the comments about it. I watched a documentary about the 9-11 guys once. You know, the crew. The guys? Not the boys who did 9-11 guys once you know the crew the guys? not the boys who did 9-11 the fellas yeah the fellas

and they were all boys and so they one of the they interviewed one of the flight instructors and they were like well they were talking about all the mishaps of the war in the Middle East

but one of them they're like we should there were so many times there were so many times that we should have caught the 9-11 fellas because they— Did they always say like a colloquial cute way to go for them? The documentary is called Goodfellas. Oh, wow.

I've seen it. Oh, my God. I've seen that. It's called The Fellas, Cohen, and What They Did. And one of the young men who took the flying lessons, he continuously told his flight instructor, when the flight instructor was trying to teach him how to land the plane, he was like, I don't want to know how to land it. I just want to know how to fly it. And the flight instructor, they interviewed him and he was like, I always thought that was weird. Yeah.

And he was like, yeah, dog. It was pretty fucking weird. You know, that reminds me in a very tangential way of this podcast I once heard about this kid who started having aversion to water and acting strangely and having these like seizure situations. And they didn't know what was wrong with them. And the parents took the kid to the doctor. And the doctor was like, this seems like rabies. Is there any way that your, this seems like rabies. Is there any way that your child was exposed to rabies?

And they were like, no, there's no way. And they're like, nothing, not bitten by a dog or bitten by a bat. And they go, oh no, yeah,

she was bitten by a bat. Yeah, she was. Oh, bitten by a bat? Bitten by a bat. Oh yeah, she had one of those. She did. She didn't know.

But this is the idea that the doctor goes, anything weird happen at all? No, nothing. Everything pretty normal. She's been pretty good. Well, they just didn't know. But this is the idea that doctors are like, anything weird happen at all? No, nothing. Everything pretty normal. She's been pretty good. There was the bat in her room. There was the bat.

There was the bat. She had dance class Tuesday. Jumbling Wednesday. She did give it away. And then there was the bat situation. All I can think of is she was bitten by a St. Bernard from a Stephen King novel that was filming at the Mop. I can't see a rabies. I don't see.

It would not make sense for her to be. She's been collecting rabbit animals in her room but they like them. Do you say she has tetanus? I don't see how she could have gotten exposed. She does often stab herself with a rusty nail. That is kind of part of it. But I don't think there's no way. You know, similar to your

and eventually we will talk about your guys' records. Eventually we'll find out his influences. That's what I'm waiting for. I haven't think, there's no way. You know, similar to your, and eventually we will talk about your guys' records, but similar to your. Eventually we'll find out his influences. That's what I'm waiting for. I haven't forgotten. You think I for one second forgot about the narrative I'm trying to weave here? I want it to be saved. I want this to be a perfect herald. But similar to you being a DJ in the Bay, Shelby, and we might have to cut this out.

I don't know if you want me to say this or not. But Shelby was was a can I say that you were a drug dealer in oh yeah in Chile Argentina in Argentina

Shelby was a drug dealer in Argentina that's so cool I was so afraid to do that hold up she should have been yeah there's good reason for me to she does not have the strength to run an operation like that

what do you mean she probably still got what part like I'm saying are you Chilean or Argentinian no I studied abroad there and I was buying. Which one? What's up, dude?

This has been fun. Huh? Like abroad? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I guess I'll take off. Okay, so you were an American student abroad. Okay. I was an American student abroad.

And you could speak fluently. At the time, I'm not that as good anymore. No, I noticed. Yeah, when I said, what did I say in Spanish so far? No, she just said speak fluently. I was doing another roast joke about how you're speaking. I'm getting ruined on this podcast. I'm also getting a bit ruined.

For those of you just tuning in, this is Keeping Records podcast on the HeadGum Network. HeadGum. But Shelby was a drug dealer. That's so cool. I wish I was. You were selling what? Well, I was really on a hunt to find. In South America, I could get coke anywhere.

I wanted good weed, and I couldn't find it anywhere. And I was going sort of every time we went out, I was going to like every DJ, honestly, being like, where can I get weed? Smart. We're driving by good weed. That is really smart. And eventually I met this guy who was like, no, I have weed. And I was like, good weed? Because everyone had been selling the craziest weed I've ever seen. It was condensed into a block.

And you'd have to chip away at it. It was a crazy... And did it work or did it make you feel bad? It was like, honestly, they had gone to the dirt, put it, mushed it together, and then was like, that's weed, baby. They're talking to the white kids who studied abroad, obviously. Right.

So then I was like, is it good? You're like, flour. I want some flour. I did have to end up sort of like saying that because everyone was giving me these squares. And I was like, all right. But and he was like, yeah, yeah, yeah. And I started buying weed from him. And then he was like, I have a full menu. And I was like, okay.

And then I was like, sure. Started buying other stuff from him. I lived with 15 people. That's a college story right now. Of course, I did live with 15. Of course, at the time, I was living amongst 15 others. And I'm a little younger than you, so that might have been the year I was living with 30 people. But I can't be sure.

I'm quite a bit younger than you. You're younger than me. But you can – yeah. Generationally, there was a – your era was more of a 15. I was a little bit older when the towers hit, so I grew up sooner. Yeah, you remember that. You were living with 30 fellas, right? Our boys.

I lived with 30. Actually, 30 boys. 30 good little boys. 30 good boys. Best boys. The good fellas. Nothing really going on. But he was like, yeah, give me your friends' numbers, whatever.

And then I went out of town, and one of my friends did this guy dirty and he was like, I won't sell to any American but you. And then I ended up being like, okay, I guess I'm doing bulk orders from my guy and then distributing them out. And I didn't really think about it at the time. I was like, oh, I'm just sort of like,

I'm just getting them for my buddies. But then it was like other people who were also American were like, anyone American? And everyone was like, this girl can get insulin. It ended up I was buying like massive amounts of drugs. Do you guys remember in The Other Guys when Will Ferrell explains how he was a pimp in college, but he doesn't know what to call it?

He's just like, oh, I had a stable of women who I helped. First time she told me this, I was like, you were a drug queen pimp. I was like, no, I was splitting it up. Have you ever watched like Locked Up Abroad or Midnight Express? Yeah, like you just were too young to care. I didn't realize what I was doing until I was in it. Like, at the time, I was like, I'm just getting weed for my friends. What were the nuts and bolts of the job?

Like, was it a lot of, like, in a car with another person face-to-face talking to them? It was a lot of me going to this guy's house. I won't say his name. Good idea. His name. Why not? Say his house. I won't say his name. Good idea. His name. Why not? Say his name. I won't say his name, but I want you guys to know.

I would go to his address at 325. I want you guys to know that this is not far off. It's like if his name was Murder George. Sure. So you would spend time at his house. Yeah, I would go to his apartment and tell him what I need. I had to speak in code with him. What was the code?

It was a color-coded system. Can we do it? Like, hey, I'll be murdered. I don't know if you should give the codes away either, right? I don't think I can give the codes away. Oh, you can't give the code out? Oh, no. I hold the nuclear codes to Argentina at this point.

Right. You don't want the Chilean mafia coming after you up here in L.A. I want to know how much of a – I'm trying to gauge your danger. So I would go to his – and then I would walk from his apartment to mine with, like, tons of drugs on me. And I would go with a bunch of cash. Coke, weed, cash. Coke, weed, acid. I wouldn't be that afraid of that, though, as long as you have a nice coat.

Yeah. What? Well, I'm just saying, like, that, to me, the more scary part is who am I interacting with as a woman. I don't know. Mostly, my guy murdered George. And that's what I'm calling him, which is, again, scary part is who am I interacting with as a woman? Mostly, my guy murdered George. And that's what I'm calling him, which is, again, so close to what he's called. And you should be more scared of, yeah, go ahead. What kind of coat were you wearing at the time?

I just had a curiosity. What if I was like Gucci? No, it was really a bag that I bought at the art fair. You'd have an unassuming situation, I bet. Look, I'm like four foot eight. I'm like, what am I going to do? You're so small, yeah. Who's going to come for me? I used to have a friend.

The Chilean authorities. They think I'm the problem? I don't know. I had a broken leg at the time, right? Yeah, well, I had a walking boot on. I used to work for a German lady who said that she used to smuggle drugs in the 70s, and what she would do is wear a long fur coat, tie them, like put them all inside the coat and then run

up to someone at security and like ask them like where she's like, be very confused and have them escort her and help her. So that she was getting like this like special treatment to get through so she could smuggle all the drugs. So they were like, we're not gonna look into her, she's on her own journey. I guess

like she had a whole thing. That doesn't make sense because the second time you go to that airport and you once again are like a harried, frazzled woman. But maybe she only, I don't know what she was doing. I'm just saying it's always. You get something else going on. But walking through the streets with drugs, that doesn't scare me. Walking through an airport, fuck no. Right. Well, what would

happen, ended up happening was I always had so much of it on me that I would go on trips and realize that in my bag I had stuff in there. And I was just like, oh, my God. Like, I would get to the place and be like, fuck. My God, is that my kilo of cocaine? Fuck. Oh, I hate that.

Thought I left that at home. That's like me when I miss a Google calendar. Ah! A kilo of coke? I mean, the period of time. Because it really was, I didn't realize what had happened until I was, like, so in it that it was like, well, I don't even know how I escaped this until a broad ends. Like, I am this until I go. That's cute.

And that's how you stopped dealing drugs? That's how you got out of the game? Well, yeah. My guy is in Argentina when I'm back in the States. What am I going to do? You should write a screenplay about this because it's got a perfect Hollywood ending. And what's funny about it? You know, where you get on an airplane and you fly back to Los Angeles and you're like, I'm not a drug dealer anymore.

And I drink like iced tea or something. And you know how it ends? He gets caught. No. It's just you, tight on you, microphone in front of you, and you say, you're tuned into the Keeping Records podcast. Please. No, but can I just say what I also love about it is that you were just in search of good weed. So now you're high, having to be like this queen pin.

And you're just like confused, right? You forget that there's like coke in your purse. I mean, it really was sort of like I also lived with all these people and I wasn't set up to be, I had no plans to be the way I was. So I just keep the stuff under my bed when I slept

and I would have roommates like come and like wake me up and be like, hey, do you have anything I can... They would like wedge their hand into the mattress and grab something? Well, I woke up with one of them crawling on my floor and I was like, get the fuck out of here. Shelby, that's no way to live. Just to give you sort of a juxtaposition, while Shelby was doing that, I was in like a massive... Like young leaders.

I was in like a massive fight about an ordinance in student government on my campus. What was their big issue? About who could run for office when. Oh, I had multiple. I was always picking a fight with somebody. There was a young... Caleb was ready to be a politician. The girl – I thought I was going to be a lawyer and a politician.

The girl who ran the Young Republicans on campus and I had a famous campus-wide feud to the extent that we had to have like multiple sit-down meetings with like leadership at the college staff because they were like, you guys need to clean it up. What was the fight about? What was the conflict? Well, she was a huge bitch. Lindsay, if you're listening, I still don the conflict? Well, she was a huge bitch. Lindsay, if you're listening, I still don't care for you. She was a huge bitch, although I don't,

I don't, I just shouldn't, okay. Now you stop? Well, I was like, I don't. She's a fucking bitch to this day. You know, actually,

more than that I can't reveal, though. I'll tell you guys when we're not recording, when we're outside of this room. But she was a huge bitch. I'm sure that she, you still are, Lindsay. And I didn't like her.

And also she was like, you know, she was like one of those like smarmy young Republicans that was like always wore like a pencil skirt and a little chevron top and was like just at everything being Republican. Chevron really was such a time. Oh, God. I couldn't stand her. But, yeah, so we were always kind of at each other's throats. You know who I think is a huge bitch to this day? And I'm not afraid to say it on camera and on this podcast. Who?

Murder George. Murder George. Come guess some, doggie. And I actually completely disagree. I think Murder George is an incredible young man. I'll tell you guys his name and you'll be like, Murder George was a really good name. Let's go to ad break so that we can do that.

Ad break. Ciao. Ciao, Bella. If you put 100 people in front of me on the street and said mug one of them, I would pick you every time. You are absolutely muggable. I would just push you

down and take your shit. Huggable and muggable, baby. That's what they say. Huggable, muggable, fuggable. Sometimes because I'm like so short and I'm just so small, I will sometimes have to find, like if I'm walking the streets at night I try to like make size make my yeah like I talk loud

or I you know like I just try to be like stick my chest out I'm a problem for you it's weird but I like Natasha's so funny anytime somebody's slightly sketchy on the street walking towards us she just starts going like yeah I don't know maybe we should turn right at the next intersection I'm not really you can tell I just try to like talk loud and with an accent or like just try to sound very like I know, I don't know. Maybe we should turn right at the next intersection. I'm not really, you can tell. I just try to like talk loud and with an accent

or like just try to sound very like I know what I'm doing. Yeah, really intentional. Every turn you take has purpose. Yeah. Yeah. You don't want to ever feel like helpless. What I like to sometimes do is like talk as if someone's really waiting for me.

Like, ugh, they're going to think I'm late. Or like. You pretend a phone call? Sometimes. Or like if I'm with some. me. Like, ugh, they're going to think I'm late. Or like... You pretend a phone call? Sometimes. Or like if I'm with some... Yes. Or I'll like say it to myself and I'll just be like,

oh, fuck. Like, they're going to be so pissed. Because then people think someone's expecting me. And they're going to get a call quick. Oh, that's smart. Yeah, someone's expecting me. You're just walking out of the street like, they're going to be so pissed.

Oh, everyone waiting on me will be so mad that I'm late. Oh, all the law enforcement that I often hang around with socially is going to be upset if I don't show up. God damn it, I'm going to be late to the police event. How about we grab our phones and we're like, okay, I'm right there. I'm like literally here.

Yeah. Something like that. Something like that. Okay, there you are. I'm here, officer, friend of mine. ACAB. Are the police there? All cops are buddies.

You're with me. Yes. All cops are with me. Are my buddy. Have you done any of this? What? Any of the things they're describing.

Is this... No, actually, I don't know if it's different. I don't know if it's different for a woman. I never think about it. But I do know that being on your phone

is not good if there's a mugger about. Why? They want people on their phone who are distracted and kind of... But I hear what you're saying. Earbud, earbud. Just go like this. Well, there's a mugger about. Why? They want people on their phone who are distracted and kind of... But I hear what you're saying.

But it works. Earbud. Earbud. Just go like this. Well, there's also... There's a big trend on TikTok that is so bizarre. It's like such a weird plea

to go viral for like the right reasons. But where people will be like... The caption will be like, if you're ever around in a sketchy Uber, play this sound and it'll be someone being like,

hey, you almost here? And it'll be like, all right, well, I'm really looking forward to hearing this and it'll be someone being like, hey, you almost here? And I'll be like, all right, well, I'm really looking forward to hearing this. It'll be like a strong man. I'll be waiting for you. It'll be like me and the dog

are outside just sort of waiting for you. I'm just here lifting hay bales. And you put it on speakerphone? Is that the idea? Yeah, the idea is that you FaceTime it so they'll have the ring

at the top and I'll be like, hey, what are you getting here? But that doesn't mean he can't turn the wrong way. I know. It's like, also, they'll have, like, the ring at the top. And I'll be like, hey, when are you getting here? But that doesn't mean he can't, like, turn the wrong way. I know. It's like, what? Also, like, some of them will be so specific about how they're waiting for you.

They'll be like, I'm on the porch. And it's like, well, when they get there and you're not on the porch, they just keep driving. How funny would it be, though, if you were doing one of those and the guy you were scared of was just like, that's not going to work. I'm on TikTok. You're totally out of luck man just so you know I am an abductor

but I'm also big on TikTok so I know this so yeah you're really fucked right now I'm still gonna do what I'm gonna do well the next time we have you over

we'll tell you about when Moshe got into a screaming fight with a Lyft driver it's a pretty good story, too. But it is very hard. As women, I never know.

And guys always ask me what I do. Oh, in the Uber. I think I would rather not have a glass of wine and just drive myself now. Did you see Nicole Byers tweet about this yesterday? No, what happened? She tweeted. I mean, did you see this? It was psychotic.

Been off Twitter. Things are bad on there right now. Honey, it's always bad on there. But her Uber driver, particularly, her Uber driver, something about asking what she did and insisting that she tell him, and then asking, I don't remember the particulars, but basically he was asking really scary questions of her.

And then what did she do? She was just tweeting, being like, do you think I could stop and drop this car? Oh, she was live tweeting it. She was like being funny about it, but like literally multiple mutuals of ours were replying and being like, Nicole, are you okay? It was scary. Hey, Nicole, I'll text you when you get home, how don't you? Yeah, it was weird.

How don't you? I made up for it. You know how people say that. And they're all aspiring comedians and actors. Always. That's another problem. So you immediately have to. Are in a bad spot.

You know, and like people are like, oh, what did a guy ask me the other day? Just start saying you're in script development. That'll really get them. Nah, get out of the entertainment industry. You got to go more. I'm kidding. That would suck. They're going to be like, I have five pilots for you.

You got it. What is the perfect answer? What shuts it down? Script development's the worst job you can get. They'll be like, then honey, have I got some stuff to tell you? You could help me. I've had some great conversations with Lyft drivers, though, I have to say. Yeah, if you're a Lyft driver and you're listening to this, we really actually really tell you. I've had some great conversations with Lyft drivers though I have to say. Yeah if you're a Lyft driver

and you're listening to this we really actually really respect you. No like I mean well Moshe would always when we'd take them together he would always start conversations

and then he'd get on his phone and then I'd have to like pick up the pieces. And he would he was always way too friendly because he feels bad that someone's driving us

so he's like overcompensating and trying to engage you know and then he would zone out. I was once on my way to a – to our – I think our wedding or a wedding rehearsal or something. I was getting the suit, I remember, and the Uber driver was like, you're getting married, huh? Beautiful.

I'm married. And he's like, do you want my takeaway from marriage? I was like, yeah. I was like scared to get married. He was like, something I learned from a lot of hard-won experience, and it's the best advice I have. And I was like, wow, yeah, please, lay it on me. He's like, okay. Never go to bed angry.

That's your best advice? Like the universal. It's the most basic, like it's literally in a greeting card. Like that's all you've got? You were like, fuck, okay, fuck. Writing it down. Yeah, it would be super helpful if it was actually something very specific like, every Tuesday before 3 p.m. make sure the dishes are done.

It's like if there was some kind of like, you know. There is no code. That's powerful. I just thought of something really scary. About the Tuesday thing. What is it? You know how like in the 70s everybody just like hitchhiked? Was getting kidnapped and murdered.

Well, they were hitchhiking like that was the norm. And then like, what if like now it's like, you know, something's about to happen where it's like, oh, yeah, we used to just like get into strangers' streets and then they would see where we lived. Oh, you mean Ubers? Yes. Like why is this okay? Like I had a guy say the N-word to me and then I'm like, okay, I want to like – I told him to like pull over. And then – but then it's like – He said the N-word to you.

Why did he say that to you? No, I mean he was like don't come around. Don't go in this area anymore. And then I was like, okay, you know, I need to get out. And then I was like do I give him one star because he knows where I live? You know what I mean? And then it's like it's – yes, but I'm just saying it's like – She is so scared of strangers she five-starred him and she tipped him.

No, but I'm just saying that makes me not want to be on the app, you know? Like, I don't want people getting in, you know, it's just like, scary. You're in some random person's car. Especially now, it feels like we're so divided. Like, how are things, and how are things not going to start getting activated? I'm able to. Anyway, I'm sorry that's too dark.

No, I nipped that in the bud, but when I call a lift, I open the door and I go, who did you vote for in the 2016 election? Yes, yes. And if the answer's wrong, I'm like, you better keep moving, brother. But if the answer's Trump, I hit that in the butt, but when I call a Lyft, I open the door and I go, who did you vote for in the 2016 election? Yes, yes. And if the answer's wrong, I'm like, you better keep moving, brother. But if the answer's Trump, I jump on in and we just find out how much more we have in common. That's why I thought you were right. And see what's next.

What are we doing next? Where are we going? I did one Star of the Lyft driver I would like to stay. Let's go storm a restaurant. Wait, you guys, we really have to listen. I know, I'm sorry, because my kid's out there and we don't have that much time. You just brought your child for some reason. Well, our nanny couldn't make it.

We heard. We know. Well, she's our first record. We would like her to go in the capsule. The kid? Yeah. She's just. The first human.

I know a lot of parents say this, but our kid is special. Yeah, and gifted. Let's let them do their amazing podcast so that we're not like talking the entire time no this is the podcast but we should I will say we when we talk too much

people will be like what about the records what's the records I guess in the end what I would say is my influences as a DJ are no you have to save it

until the literal end alright let's do this we brought you here to ask you guys what would you put if we were making new golden records what would you put on them

you know this yeah we know what was your first thing it's just fat fat beats no I thought you were going to say fat people

I was like not right I was like I'll take it you're all thin ice guys no I would never that lift driver of hers though

he would say something like that what did we say first we're going to oh we want we want to show the aliens yeah

we really want to show them about hot springs. Oh, hot springs. A hot spring. A hot spring. That's a good one. Because they're wonders of the world. Yes. And a lot of people don't know about them.

And they're so healing. And I love them. And I don't think a lot of people know that they're actually natural. I think some people are like, hot springs. You're just a jacuzzi somewhere. It's a bath. No. Here's what I would say to the aliens and to you. If you're ever on a road trip,

making your road trip hot spring centric will make your trip so much fun. It's like you go to the spa every day. That's how we travel. When we're in my RV,

which is another one of the records, so I don't want to put the RV before the horse. But when we're going on like a long trip, like we did a trip through Colorado and it was one of the most beautiful trips ever.

In his RV. In the RV. And we would just map out hot spring to hot spring to hot spring. The whole time, every day you get out, you're in this beautiful setting. You're soaking. There's naked 65-year-old hippies everywhere. I mean, it's ideal. Well, also, I could be wrong.

I've only gone to so many, you know. But aren't they usually in pretty beautiful spots anyway? So, like, your drive is prettier because you're like, I'm going to, like, we're seeking out these, like, little pockets. Do you guys ever hook up with any of the older couples there? I definitely try. And Natasha does not. Oh, my God. So, we went to this hot spring that's in Santa Barbara.

It's a cool one. It's a semi-primitive hot spring Montecito maybe I think the guy I've been talking to went there literally yesterday it's beautiful it's beautiful

it's an hour and a half hike it's like an intense hike we should talk about him later I'll tell you but it has all these beautiful pools but last time we were there I mean we could not have been

with more gorgeous women and they all have their tits hanging out and we're all talking together and they all are talking to Moshe about he's talking about Burning Man and DJing. Yes, I'm there.

I think I'm naked. I think everyone's naked. Yes, but like these girls all had like perfect pendulous, like, you know, like they were like gorgeous. Like one of them was dating Diplo. Like these were like gorgeous, gorgeous, naked women. Her and Lindsay from the Young Republicans. And then when we left,

tell me what you guys think of this. When we left, like another girl comes up to Moshe with her tits like running but she had a one piece that was just down

and she was like, hey, I heard you know the area, where can I get tacos? And like he's sitting there talking to her about all the different spots or where the surf spots are.

That's right, she was asking me about surf spots. Surf spots and like and where she could get the tacos and like they were just like hitting it off.

But I was standing there and they talked for like 15 minutes and she kept her top down and mine was already up. She wanted to fuck your man. But don't you... Well, Moshe's like, oh, you sound like the guy from Footloose. The dad from Footloose is what I often... Because I was like... I was like... It is

so funny. No tits in this hot spring. It's so funny for Natasha to be like, no, someone was talking to you for 15 minutes with their tits out. And you're like, you don't want anyone dancing in this. Exactly. It's like, not the right response. I'm not that big of a prude. But I do think it's weird to be a woman with perfect breasts. If you were worse tits, would you have been fine if they were down?

Yes. If she had bad tits and they were still out for 15 minutes, would you have minded? It's the perfection of the moment. I think so. If she was 75 years old with tits to the ground, you would have been like, you would have been like, Moshe. She wouldn't have been asking Moshe for the surf spots. 28 bad tits. Bad tits.

Yeah. It still would have been awkward. I think that's fair. I just was checking. To be honest. And, like, she knew I was the wife, but, like, just, like, ha, ha, ha, and then laughing and, like, emotions just, like, crap. And every time she laughs, there's farts around.

And then, like, go down there and. It's all. I mean, she was. She was cool. It's all good. Okay. Was she suggestively eating a Popsicle? Yeah.

Okay. But it was a hot day. You know what I mean? But in terms of hot springs, there are some more bougie options. There's this place called Two Bunch Paws. Well, hold on. Before we move on, I want to defend myself. Okay.

I think what she's describing is, in fact, the difference between Rockford, Illinois, which is where she's from, and the Bay Area. I was raised in the Bay Area. I can be around naked people. I'm not sexualizing people. You're a little bit up a creek because we're also Midwest. Yeah. Yeah, I'm saying. Welcome to what it's like on the West Coast.

But we do want to be in California. My mom raised me taking to like weird, hippie, naked spots. So like when I'm in a situation. So did mine, honestly, but it was Ohio. When I'm in a situation where I'm around naked people, like in a hot spring, I do not sexualize those people because it's not the— You didn't notice that all those women had, like, the fattest tits you've ever seen? Look, I noticed, but I ejaculated at the beginning and I moved on. I was thinking about it.

I couldn't stop thinking about it. I thought about it for— You weren't thinking about boinking these young women. No, but I'm— I couldn't get it out of my mind until we got to the next hot spring and saw new hot women. Although, also I remember being at a hot spring and there's men that linger. That's why I almost like it's more fun

to go to the places that are clothed. Personally, for me, I prefer that. I want to tell you guys that I told Shelby this earlier before we were recording. I, yesterday, was sitting on, I was sitting outside of Fred 62, classic, and on the street,

you know how there's that little walk-up coffee window across the street? A fully nude man. It's actually tacos, for the record. Okay, well, he was getting coffee from a taco. across, you know how there's that little walk-up coffee window across the street? A fully nude man. It's actually tacos, for the record. Okay, well, he was getting coffee from a taco. Oh, you know who wants to know where there are great tacos? A friend of mine that I met at the Hot Spring recently. Who I've been texting.

I've been in touch. He was fully nude? He was fully nude. On that busy, on Vermont. He had a cape on. He had a blanket draped over his shoulders that he occasionally dropped. How was the penis? His dick was huge.

Well, they always did. Don't bring a big dick on me. We know. Leave it at home. You guys know me. Do you want to know an observation about men's penises in hippie nudity situations? I have casually observed that the people that are most likely to walk around fully naked in Burning Man in Hotspur. You're going to think it's big ones.

Yes, and yes, it is big ones. Or unbelievably small ones. No average dick guys. Average dick guys have shorts on. Big fat wang people, you get their motivation. They're just like, look, this is crazy, isn't it? We should all take this in because it's fucking gigantic. But then like micro nubbins, like little button mushroom motherfuckers are so down.

And I think it must be like a reclaiming thing. It's like, you know what? And they should. They're right to. Caleb knows this story and I will make it brief. When I went to a beach in San Diego, a nude beach. Oh, boy. And I watched a guy quite literally fuck the sand for the whole day.

Really? He would not stop clenching his legs face down. And I watched a guy quite literally fuck the sand for the whole day. He would not stop clenching his legs face down, clenching his cheeks down. And then when he would pick up speed, he would get up, walk to the water, rinse off, and then do it again. That's Salt Life, baby. Dude. He didn't care that people were staring at him. But he's from Oakland. When you go up in Oakland, it's different. And then he would go back and do it again until at one point he got so fast.

Couldn't stop himself. He came. He busted. And then fell asleep. Dude. Ew. King. King.

Caleb's right, though. When I first heard this story, I was like, what a perv. And then when I found out he's from Oakland, I'm like, that's normative. Was he performing a little bit for you guys watching him? I don't know how much he was. Here's the thing. He was definitely trying to be coy about it, but's normative. Was he performing a little bit for you guys watching him? I don't know how much he was. Here's the thing. He was definitely trying to be coy about it, but he moved closer. You know?

Like, he was sitting out there. You guys found out later that that was Eric Garcetti, right? It was Eric Garcetti. In San Diego? Eric Garcetti. Do you think he was doing it through pants? No, he was fucking the sand. Naked?

He was nude for the nude beach. He was sanded in a penis hole. That reminds me of a story. My friends were on Baker Beach in San Francisco, nude for the nude beach. It's funny. That reminds me of a story. My friends were on Baker Beach in San Francisco, which is a nude... Every beach in San Francisco is obviously mandated nude because that's just what the Bay Area is like. No, but Baker Beach is the nude beach in San Francisco and there was this guy on the beach and my

four girls that I knew were walking... Baker's Beach and there's buns everywhere. Yeah. And they were walking down the beach and he was on his stomach with a butt plug in. And he turned around, looked at them, and immediately ejaculated. He's right. You think?

He's wrong. You guys are so Midwest. He's right. I think he's wrong. I think he did something wrong that day. Coming can be wrong. Okay. Pretty quickly thought of a couple instances where I guess coming is wrong. Okay. Yeah, actually. Coming is wrong. I'm going to listen to this man. I pretty quickly thought of a couple instances where I guess coming is wrong.

Yeah, well, what else is on your guys' records? I like Hot Springs, and I think the aliens would like them. Oh, and can I just plug Two Bunch Palms, which is in Desert Hot Springs? It's kind of expensive now. It didn't used to be that expensive, but it's worth it. If you guys have money, you should go. But if you don't have money, that's a- You could go with a friend and-

Save up. You know, it's not that expensive. Like I would say you pay $200 each and then you get to be in like these like this beautiful space that has like people in their actually clothed. Like you're paying for people to be clothed around you. Like to me, that's worth $200. But I think actually hot springs are a egalitarian experience because you can do a bougie one and pay a bunch of money or if you get a little bit off the beaten path,

then you can do one for free. And if you go far enough off the beaten path, you're going to see eight of the hottest, perfect, perkiest tits you've ever seen. They weren't perky.

They were pendulous. Pendulous, hanging, swinging. Steve Harvey tells people if you're struggling to find motivation and you're broke,

you need to find a way into first class on a plane. Ask them if you can be bumped up or save up money and take a first class flight. That was me my whole life. So that's what I think with the hot springs. If you can't afford to live like Natasha and Moshe do, you need to save up and experience. Or you need to hike around to sneak in where there's no one. Kind of like the Hollywood ball. You have to get on Google Maps.

Yeah. Zoom in. If you have a phone, and if you don't, you save it for that first. But for me, aliens, if you're listening, for me, I appreciate the primitive hot springs more than the bougie ones. Yeah, no, it's fun to take, especially one that you can RV to, but then there's still, the ones that we like, though, you can wear clothes. And you do have to pay for them. That's the problem. The free ones, people are naked.

There is no hot spring in America or the world where you can wear clothes. And you do have to pay for them. That's the problem. The free ones, people are naked. There is no hot spring in America or the world where you cannot wear clothes. You're allowed to wear clothes at any hot spring in the world. No, I know, I know. But I just don't always want to look at everybody naked. And I do. And that's really the difference. But when the social norm is nudity, to be clothed makes you such a fucking

dweeb. When other people are all dressed. Oh, yeah. Esalen, you go there. That's in San Francisco. Have you been there? It's so beautiful. Or in Big Sur. And they say it's clothing optional everywhere, but nobody has clothes on. So if you wear a swimsuit, everyone's staring at you.

Everyone's like, what's up with this fucking narc? Yeah. There's an FBI agent at the spring. Okay, be fucking cool. Now that's the most beautiful one ever. That one, I know we want to move on. But that one, Esalen's cool. If you're ever in Big Sur, they do 1 a.m. soaking so you can reserve online.

I think it's like $15 or something. And it hangs over the ocean and you hear the crash of the Pacific Ocean on the rocks below as you soak in a sulfurated bath. It's one of the peak experiences on Earth. If you're just tuning in, you're on Getting Hot with Caleb and Shelby. Soaking it up. I hope that you guys can do that spring again sometime. I know that 1 a.m. is difficult for you guys, but I hope that you guys can get out there. Oh, stop it.

We'll meet you at Zebulon at 1230, okay, honey? I'm a techno. I'm a techno guy. I stay up all night. I rave all night. I fucking snort MDMA and ketamine. Yeah, but you're just doing that in your attic. That's right. I's hard for me to hold no. I'm a techno guy. I stay up all night. I rave all night. I fucking snort MDMA. We'll drink a latte. Yeah, but you're just doing that in your attic. That's right.

I snort ketamine. I put my kid down. I put my kid down. I snort five rails of ketamine. I go into the fattest fucking K-hole you can imagine, and I just slam techno beats for the rest of the night. Whatever room you do this, you should call it Club Cash. That's a great idea.

It used to be his cute little office. Now he's got DJ equipment. Now it's my cute little club. Why didn't you guys are married, right? It's his cute little club. Why didn't you take Leggero? Why didn't I take Leggero? Yeah, it's a very beautiful name.

Are you kidding me right now? Why didn't I take Leggero? Yeah. Because I'm not a fucking cuck, dude. A mashup. That makes some sense to me. Oh, wait. I have never seen that.

They go, oh, Richards and Jacobson. Yeah. Or Richardson or Jacobson. Yeah. Or Richardson. Or Jacobson. And they make up in, but legally, isn't that a hassle? Well, I'm sure. They both change their names then? They both change their names.

And then the kid has a made-up name? I think we can all agree. Well, to them, it shows their name. I think they don't know it's made up. Your kid has a made-up name as well, by the way. Well, you mean her first name that we decided was her name out of thin air? Yeah. I just think we can all agree that the tradition of women changing their name because of their gender is like – Yeah, cool.

It's totally insane and makes no sense, but we just don't have a good system. There isn't a good system. You take it first. You guys should go very law with it and be ledger. Ledger. Oh. I think you should just go with whatever sounds good. If you wanted to change your name,

use marriage as an opportunity to change your name if the person's is better and you like that. I had a babysitter whose last name was Valiando, gorgeous. Ooh, nice. Married a Barth, and now her last name is Barth. Terrible, terrible. Take Valiando. Your kids have to be Barth now.

Wouldn't it be nicer if they were Valiandos? My husband to be Barth now. Wouldn't it be nicer if they were Valiant? My husband will take my last name. For real though? No, I'm kidding. I do not care. Do gay couples often... How do they decide? Oh, okay.

They don't change their names. Is it legal for there to be gay couples? Is it what? Is it legal for there to be gay couples? It depends on the state. For now, yeah. For now, it's a national yes, and then it'll be by the state soon. No, but I've never thought about it. A same-sex couple, how do they negotiate name?

And how do they have sex? Yeah. Who's the boy and who's the girl? Who's the man and who's the girl here? Ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew. Let's talk about something else. I have a joke about that that I got in trouble for recently. About the name thing?

No, I have a joke where I say that straight people who ask who's the man and who's the woman in a gay relationship are absurd because you can always tell by looking. And so a gay person got very mad at me for that joke. I could see it, but I think it's funny. And they're like, I'm the boy, but I dress like the girl. And also, by the way, the one that got mad at me was there with their partner. He was the girl. I'm looking at him and I'm going, you're mad because you're the girl. And also, by the way, the one that got mad at me was there with her partner. He was the girl. I'm looking at him and I'm going, you're mad because you're the girl. Well, you know how girls are.

You know how girls are all sensitive and stuff. Hey, come on. Anyway. Hey, moving on. What's next? What else is in my record? A condom, a 40 ounce of malt liquor. You're stealing her thing, dude.

That's your character. Oh, is that your character? I'm so sorry. We'll do it together. So there I am in Buenos Aires trying to sell some cocaine. What else am I going to put on my record? A hot broad with big tits and a voluptuous ass. A gold-plated 9mm I got from my friend Murder George.

We had Muna in a three-person band on this couch as an episode, so there were five of us in here total for the last two episodes because we did a two-parter. And I had a close friend who listens to every episode and loves the chaos of the podcast text me and say. Too much. It was too much. Too much. In that moment, I was like, I'm going to get another text. If you're out there, I hope that you're enjoying what I'm doing, sir or ma'am.

Sir or madam or whatever may be going on. What else is in our record? Camping. Camping. I feel like our records, I'm going'am or whoever you are. Sir or madam or whatever may be going on. What else is in our record? Camping. Camping. I feel like our records, I'm going to be honest with you, we had a really harried experience of sending our records in, and I feel like we defaulted to my interests. I will say earlier, Natasha said, I love going out in Moshe's RV, and I was like, clocking that.

Toxic dynamic, toxic dynamic. And we'll just. and I was like clocking that. Toxic dynamic. I was like holding on to that. And we'll just. Well, you know, between becoming a mother and the pandemic and then trying to like have time for my career as much as I want to give to it, I feel like I don't have much time for like. For the RV. For a lot of like extracurricular activities.

I'm going to be in an RV. Let it be on a set. Hooah. Let it be my trailer, please. Yes, my to be in an RV. Let it be on a set. Hooah. I would prefer that. Let it be my trailer, please. Yes, my trailer. She's right. I will say that when Natasha.

But I am, like I have a tennis lesson tomorrow. Okay. I'm trying. Huge. Ask him how to do the Caleb slice. It's the only thing I know how to do and I can't teach you, but you know you should play with Sabrina Jalise. She's really good.

I don't want to play with her. I want to get good enough Well, she's really good. I don't want to play with her. I want to get good enough to play with her. Yeah. I don't want to play with you. You already told me how you play it. I'll never catch the ball. I don't want to be this way. I don't want to be this way.

He wants to learn to be better. We'll shame you. Maybe I'll take a lesson instead. Yes. Well, I'm going to put into the records my RV. Okay. I enjoy it. It's very nice.

It's a very nice holiday with a child. One of the dynamics between Natasha and I, the Rockford and the Oakland, is that I brought a lot of desire for rugged adventure to the relationship. And Natasha brought a lot of desire for extreme luxury into the relationship. Or just abstaining from ruggedness. Right. And neither of us were really organically comfortable with the other thing. She's not a natural born camper. Oh, yeah.

Moshe, you don't like luxury hotels when we stay there? That's the point that I'm getting to. That's the point that I'm getting to. If you had pitched to me before. He says, I can't stand when people are nice to me and good to me and I have soft towels. A soft towel? When a room is beautiful, I get sick to myself. Well, actually,

there is a level of luxury where I start to get sick. We went to a hotel. Oh, for our honeymoon, there was like a butler. There was a butler. I'll be your butler and it's like, no, please.

No, get out of here. I do this thing where I'm overcompensating and I'm like, what's up, buddy? Like, hey, what are you up to tonight? Like, I'm just like, I'm so uncomfortable with the dynamic.

I think this new married couple wants me to flirt. Exactly. No, for our honeymoon, like, I'm so uncomfortable with the dynamic. I think this new married couple wants me to flirt. No, for our honeymoon, we had a honey fund, so we went to a very fancy place, and that was very annoying for both of us. But I will say a luxury hotel is just when you're on the road, it's nice. Well, that was my point. If you can like eventually get to stay at not a Hilton Garden and you would. All I'm saying is if you had pitched to me before we started dating, hey, would you like to spend a lot of your vacation money on the hotel?

I would say, no, I want a Spartan bed, Wi-Fi, and I want to go out into the world and explore. And Natasha, if I had said to her before we started dating, hey, would you like to spend your nights in a truck in the woods? You would have said... Hell no. Right, so we have come together like Jack Spratt and his wife. That's again, there's a lot of murder that's happened in the woods, you would have said Hell no. Right, so we have come together like Jack Spratt and his wife. That's again, there's a lot of murder that happens

in the woods and stuff. Sure, but there's also murder that happens at high-end hotels. I don't know if you saw the documentary White Lotus, but it's all about that. I think it's beautiful that your addition to the Golden Records was your DJ mixing board and that yours was motherhood. I think that is a really beautiful dynamic that you guys have curated.

Well, honestly, when I do a fat mix, it's like giving birth. There's no difference. But I will say for us going in the RV, we've kind of found our middle ground because there's like BLM land, which Moshe's always attracted to, which is the Bureau of Land Management, which also happens to be where people practice shooting their guns. And as having a child, now I'm like I want there to be facilities. I want there to be, you know, he wants to go surf. I want to just not be in a car.

Like it's better for me to like be in a hotel that maybe has a kid's center. I don't know. I love a kid's center. Some room service. Nothing more luxurious. I don't know, but like some access to something for help. There's luxury to putting your kid somewhere. I'm saying I don't want to be like, you know,

off the grid. You're saying you dislike... It sounds like what you're saying is you dislike BLM. I don't like that. And if there's one pull quote that anybody isolated out of context could pull from this podcast... I was going to say, they should work on their acronym. No, but what Moshe and I have figured out, which is good for the aliens to know, is like the

national parks are kind of our zone where we both meet up because they'll have like, you know, a beautiful hotel. Maybe you could spend one night at the end of the trip and they have like docents and they have like kids area, but you can also park your RV if you, you know, give yourself ample time because those things get booked up really fast. I will say that the national parks of this country are... And we started collecting stickers and putting them on the back of the RV.

...are a version of luxury. It's like spiritual luxury. They're so beautiful. Why are you laughing at us? You're literally wearing a National Park hat right now laughing at our sincerity. It's ironic.

I really felt that Because it's ironic, I fucking hate nature. I really felt, yes, that, but I also really felt that you were setting up a joke, but then you really just were like, I honestly love the National Park. I was like, that's beautiful, but I also really felt that you were setting up a joke. But then you really just were like, I honestly love the National Park. We really love the National Park.

And I was like, that's beautiful. But it made me laugh. But also, a lot of countries don't have that. Like, this is land that would have been given, like, let rich people buy it. This is. You know? Even though it's, they are problematic, though, because they did, like, make indigenous people not be able to. We did steal them, yeah.

Yes. Well, I don't want to get into that. What I want to get into is my next record, which is an American flag. This nation This beautiful country of ours This beautiful country of ours that those boys almost stole. Those boys that you lived with in college. Those boys. Our boys, the good fellas.

They tried to take from us. Do you guys believe in aliens? I'm curious. Yeah, sure. Really? Natasha? You believe in aliens? You don't believe Yeah. Sure. Really? You believe in aliens? Sure. You don't believe in ghosts? Yes. And we've had this debate before, and it is such an unbelievably non-logical dichotomy.

Like, aliens can exist. Ghosts cannot exist. Okay, do you believe in horoscopes? That's the believing part. No, it has nothing to do with belief. It has to do with logic. Like, is there life on planets? Yes, we are life on planets.

Okay. Are there spirits that float around and haunt buildings? I guess maybe, but we don't know. There you go. He's like, I guess maybe. The thing is, how are you going to believe in a ghost? But you also don't believe in astrology. No.

No. No. Doesn't that have to do with like the phases of the moon and the ocean? Yes. And like nature? It does. You believe. All right. I love it.

I didn't know that. You walk me into a minefield. Do you believe in ghosts? I do not believe in ghosts. On aliens, I'm like probably not either. I'm not. I'm not sure. No other life on any planet in an infinite –

It's really hard. You've already done this. I have yet to. We've had this conversation. I would love for someone to do the work. It is hard. I would love for someone to do the work. The universe is, as far as they know, infinite and ever-expanding.

And there are – we are – the sun is a star and it provides life for this planet. There are billions of stars in the sky. The problem with this is the further you go with him, the more you tell him, and then the more he shuts down, and then it gets to a point where you're like, is he a flat earther? Because he's like, yeah,

as far as we know, there's other planets. And I'm like, well, hold on. The shape of the earth is complicated. The shape of the earth is complicated. I did notice that you were rolling your eyes when she mentioned Chile. Like, you don't even believe in the country of Chile? That that exists?

Well, he's like, that's in the solar hemisphere. It's like, what are hemispheres? You know, it's a flat Earth. I believe that other people have experienced that. I haven't been. The thing with the other life forms is I would love for someone to do. I'm very open to being taught. I would love for someone to do the work and prove it.

Here's the bad news. Well, they haven't gotten there, now, have they? Here's the bad news about my belief system. It's not a belief system. Here's the bad news about Well, they haven't gotten there now, have they? Here's the bad news about my belief system. It's not a belief system. Here's the bad news about what I think about aliens. I think there's almost definitely aliens, and I think that almost definitely they are too far away from us to ever come here. And they're too far away for us to ever visit them. How do you know that?

Because the world – there's a description. Actually, you have a brief history of time here. There's a description in – Is he mansplaining history of time here. There's a description in. Is he mansplaining your own podcast? Never read that, by the way. The producers put that there. There's a description of how far away everything is in, oh, what's the guy's name? The really famous travel writer, Bill Bryson.

Oh, Bill Bryson. I almost said Carl Sagan. That's sarcastic? Yeah. I don't know Bill Bryson. He's really famous. A Walk in the Woods. That is a good book. But he did one about the history of science. I almost said Carl Sagan. That's sarcastic? Yeah. I don't know Bill Bryson. He's really famous. A Walk in the Woods. That is a good book.

But he did one about the history of science. I could not finish. That was very hard to read. It's hard. I mean, it's pop, but it's still hard to read, I guess. Right. But anyway, he does a description in that of how far away everything is from everything that is so depressing and makes you feel like such a peon in the universe that you just

go, oh, there's no way anyone will ever – like we haven't gotten to Mars yet. Mars is unbelievably close and it's unbelievably far away, right? So to think about getting to another star, I don't think we'll ever get there. What are people going to do in Mars? I don't get it. I know what they're going to do. Hang out? Hang out what?

In your spaceship? No, I can tell you what they're going to do. What? There's a guy that wants to get there and he's just going to like coyly fuck the dirt on Mars and then run into the water and then come back. Well, if it had water, we'd be in a better place about life. He wants to come one time in the dirt, in the red clay of Mars. On every planet he can get to. It's just going to be Mars.

Have you guys ever, we've talked about this on the pod before. He's trying to fuck every sand on Earth and he wants the bigger one. He wants to go to Venus. That's the untouched sand. You ever fucked a gaseous giant? That pod before. He's trying to fuck every sand on Earth, and he wants the bigger one. He wants to go to Venus. That's the untouched sand. You ever fucked a gaseous giant? That's hard. That's hard. I have fucked a gaseous giant.

And she's sitting right next to me. I'm so sorry. I don't know which part is more offensive, gaseous or giant. You look up, up, up, up, finally make eye contact with your lover. You go, honey, you're just a little gaseous tonight. I don't think it's going to happen. We've talked about this on the pod before,

but I don't know if you guys have ever seen it. The video, I'm going to fucking cry thinking about it. It makes me so sick. It literally makes me so sick to my stomach. I'm going to cry. They start with Earth, and it's massive, by the way. And then they go, and this is the sun.

Now Earth looks tiny. And then they keep showing you things, and you, by the way, Earth, which started out massive, where we live, by the way, now it looks, it's nothing more than a piece of dirt. And that makes me so sick to my stomach to think about. Doesn't that make you think that then there could be life forms on the other planet? I think I would love for someone to prove it.

It's not provable. Well, then, brother, it's not for me to know. Okay, what about, like, when everyone started, like, seeing aliens? Like, whenever there's, like, a place that, like, attracts all the aliens, what's up with that? What do you, oh, you mean, like, the people who claim they've been, you mean, like, Roswell? Yeah, so, like, yeah, like, one place that's always, like. Spice World. I got a problem with alien visits. What happened in Spice World. I got a problem with alien visits.

It happened in Spice World. I got a problem with alien visits. The same problem I have with ghosts really, but it's like, but alien visits are theoretically possible, but it's like, what are they doing? Wouldn't they have picked one normal person also? Sure. Just by chance. Wouldn't they have picked someone normal?

Or someone with an out of country accent. Well, I think sometimes they are normal and then they tell this, and people are like, okay, they're fucking free. No, but this isn't fair. That's really fair, actually. Some normal person who's like, I was sitting there, and then they're like, I don't know. And then it's like, okay, they're something off with that person. Let's break down the mission of these aliens. For over 100 years, they've been coming to visit, abducting one person, doing experiments, dropping them back off.

And that's, how long is this anthropological experiment of the Martians? Like, at what point would they go, we've got the data we need. Let's go visit a major city and say, hi, everybody. We're aliens. We're changing a lot, Moshe. So they might be running some kind of like, you know. They're kind of interested in the disinformation. If you went to an alien town, what are you doing instead?

Oh, my God. I'm going to the center of town and going like, hey, what's up? I'm from Earth. Like, what the fuck is up are you doing instead? Oh, my God. I'm going to the center of town and going like, hey, what's up? I'm from Earth. What the fuck is up, y'all? They'll kill you. No, they won't because I'll be like this. They'll kill you quick. Once the aliens come, they're like, we're going to get you.

I'm fucking busting out a sound system and I'm like, pick a, pick a, pick a, pick a, pick a. They're starting a space rave. Yeah, space rave. And then they're just like, ah, the language of techno is the language of the universal reality. Well, I don't know if you're remembering what I'm remembering, but I'm just now remembering your kid is sitting alone. Oh, no.

I know. I have to go get her soon. It's okay. She has a DJ app on her iPad. The thing that was really depressing to me is I just realized that the aliens are the robots. Wait. What happened? I just think it's like that's going to be our version.

They're machines. The machines. We should be so much more worried about that. We're already giving them so much. That's going to be the aliens. I'm totally confused. Robots taking over, Moshe. Yeah.

That's what's going to happen. It's going to be our ill-hot aliens. This is fucking brilliant. Actually, that's so brilliant, Natasha. We're worried about aliens. We need to be worried about the things we're building, which is the robots. No, but I'm saying something else. My whole problem with alien life forms visiting us or us visiting them is that it's impossible because of the distance and because of how long human life goes on for either of us to ever get there.

We can't travel fast enough to get to a planet where life might be sustainable. But what you're saying is the technology is going to eventually become so sophisticated, they're going to absorb human life. They're going to destroy us all. We're all going to die in a Matrix-like situation, and the Earth residents that will be going to visit another planet will be robots who can live forever. They can go establish

a visit on another planet. This is beautiful. A utopic. What I've decided is you get two people on a spacecraft. They have a baby on a spacecraft. Sure. They say, this is your mission. Oh, you need two couples. Sorry. Well, at some your mission. Oh, you need two couples. Sorry. Well, at some point they're going to be fucking cousins.

I changed my mind entirely. How about – I was going to say every generation they spawn so that they can get there with people. But at some point cousins are – What if I told you that already happened? You can spawn with cousins. What if I told you that already has happened? That cousins fucked?

No, that two people came and had a child, and it was the dawn of a new civilization, and it's a story called the Bible. What if I told you that there's a guy who had a son, but he loved all of us so much that he sent his only begotten son to die on the cross for our sins? Lindsay, is that you in the Chevron? You know what's so funny, too, about religion is that, first of all, that we're still like holding on to all these old ones. But that – I remember it was always like, well, Jews believe that they think someone's coming, but it wasn't Jesus. So it was all like, Jesus, our person came. And these people are like, well, our person is going to be like that, but that wasn't him. Hold on.

Just could I stop you there? What you're describing makes a lot of sense. The thing the Jews believe, that makes like a lot of sense. Well, I'm just saying. It makes so much sense. None of us think I mean, do people really think that that someone's coming? Whatever Jews believe

makes a lot of sense. Whatever other religions believe is illogical and doesn't make sense. I'm not Jewish and I do actually feel that way. Okay, there we go. I like that. This is something that I have always thought. You converted to Judaism. You believe everything in it, right? I like Judaism, but I can't say I believe the Savior is coming. Natasha.

If you're a rabbi, specifically Natasha's. Do you think that? Please do not rescind her membership. How were your conversion courses? I took 19 four-hour classes. Moshe joined me for most of them. And it was from Rabbi Neil Weinberg, who specializes in helping people convert as quickly as possible.

Four 19 hour courses. 94 hour courses. But you could take, but he has one every night, at least when we were doing it. So you could like, if you wanted to, you could completely convert in three weeks. I told Caleb if he asked me three times, I'd convert him. But Judaism was awesome. I love it. You just say Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice

and you become Jewish. Fuck, now he's gonna come on the podcast. Oh, sorry love it. You just say Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice, and you become Jewish. Fuck. Now he's going to come on the podcast. Oh, sorry, sorry. You guys would be so stoked if Beetlejuice came and was your next week's guest. No, I don't want to get into it, but I went to college with him. Oh, no way. Beetlejuice? He had a really weird breakup. We had a strange.

He was fucking Beetlejuice. He looked the same then as he does now. When he came, did he yell Showtime? He did, and he's also a bottom. Wow. Can you believe? Yeah. When he told me that, I said, real top energy on that guy.

Honestly, between the two of you, who was the girl and who was the boy? Caleb's the girl. Me and Beetlejuice, I was the girl. Okay. He was a bottom, but the boy. It was a very strange. That's what I'm saying. It was a very strange.

Well, we call it in my community topping from the bottom. Topping from the bottom. Bottoming from the top. Bottoming from the top? No. Topping your way to the top. Topping from. Isn't that a thing? He was a power bottom. Topping from the bottom. Topping from the bottom. Bottoming from the top. Bottoming from the top? No, bottoming your way to the top. Topping from, isn't that a thing? Topping from the bottom. Wait, topping from the bottom?

Power bottom? Is that a thing? Power bottom. Bottoming your way to the top is actually a great description of what a lot of gay men in L.A. are trying to do. Bottoming my way to the top is definitely what your memoir should be called. This was such a fun episode, you guys. Wait a minute. We just named the episode for you. We just named the episode. No, those should be your memoir should be called. This was such a fun episode, you guys. Wait a minute. We just named the episode for you.

We just named the episode. No, those to be your memoirs. Bottoming your way to the top. If you're just tuning in, this is Keeping Records Podcast on HeadGone Network. If you're just tuning in, this was Keeping Records Podcast. Do you guys want to,

you have your podcast, Endless Honeymoon? We do. What else do you want to tell them? You can tell them right into your camera if you want. We have a daughter, and she needs your help. No, we do a podcast together that you've been on called the Endless Honeymoon Podcast. That episode was a massive hit, by the way. It was a huge hit.

We have a secrets hotline. People call in and leave their deepest, darkest secrets. And then they call in and ask for relationship or life advice, and we answer those questions, and it's a lot of fun. As you can see, we have a lot of wisdom. And then Moshe does music and has some influences. But we're trying to not mention that. Listen, you want to hear the story? What are your influences?

Okay, here is the story. And then Natasha, I want to hear yours. I'm going to bust through it as quickly as I can. Basically, long, complicated, emotional thing. I left raving behind. I stopped DJing altogether. I put away childish things. And the funny story I was getting to was towards the end,

I used to be on all these rave flyers in the 90s and my name, I had an established name and it was DJ Moshe. And all of a sudden, as I'm starting to like have this emotional crisis that's taking me out of the rave scene, I see on this rave flyer, there's a DJ E Moshe E. Moshe. Just an E and my name. And I'm like, what the fuck is this? And I'm like, what do I do? So I gather all these flyers from years of DJing, and I go to the rave to confront this guy. And I'm like, I go, are you E. Moshe? And he's like, yeah, I'm E. Moshe. I'm like, okay, I'm DJ Moshe. And he's like, cool. I go, no, I'm not cool. My name is Moshe. Like, I go, who are you? Like, look, here's me in this flyer. Here's me in this flyer. Here's me in this flyer. He's like, that's cool, man. I'm like, no.

Like, what are you? Is your name Moshe? Are you Jewish? He goes, no. I just thought it sounded cool. I go, no. Like, I'm already an established person. You can't do this.

And he's like, well, I go, look. Are you like 16 at the time? I was probably 21, getting ready to leave. I go, look. I didn't. I go, I'll battle you for the name. I'll battle you. I will DJ battle you for the name.

We'll throw down. I'll throw down. You throw down. We let the crowd decide. Wait, I don't even know this story. Yeah, and he goes, no, I'm just going to keep the name. And I go, I. King.

King, indeed. I go, what do I do? I just, I like impotently packed the flyers back up. I was just, I have no option. What am I beat him up? I left, I stopped DJing and I never saw him on a flyer again. I do not know for sure. If you want proof that there are aliens, that might be the proof you're looking for. Changed his name and you now know him as DJ Khaled. So, so he, so he might have just been a guardian angel. So I quit DJing, got into my actual career, which is comedy. And I met Natasha. I had a family, this whole thing. I wrote a memoir called Casher and the Rai. It's a great book. It's on Amazon.

I just finished writing my second book. And my second book is a look through my, it's a second memoir, but it's through the different subcultures I've been a member of in my life. And one of the main chapters, in fact, the first one that I wrote was my years in the rave scene. And as I was listening to this, as I was listening to, as I was writing the book, I was listening to old mixtapes and I was writing to that and I got like nostalgic and I started falling in love with the music again. And that's the reason I started DJing again is because I had this like midlife crisis nostalgia thing. So the, in answer answer to your question who are my influences? It's yourself. I don't really have any influences. I'm coming

back into this thing having not even really listened to the music for 20 years and it's kind of fun because I'm just like I kind of like this and I kind of like that. I like the people I used to like but really I'm just like having a moment of like postmenopausal discovery and I'm just finding out who I am as a woman. Hopefully it'll end soon.

Can I plug my book? I wish you would. I forgot I have a book coming out. It's a great book. Well, my book was supposed to come out in July but then there was

a paper shortage and now that there's supply chain problems there's even like they've run out of paper. I was going to say it is crazy the shortages we've got going on.

I think they're just making it up at this point. For a book company to call you and be like sorry we're not going to be able to publish you on time. We don't have paper. It's our whole thing. I'm like, all right.

Yeah, all right. But my book is called The World Deserves My Children. And it's essays on mothering and my struggle and, you know, freezing your eggs. And if you're interested in children or not. Can I just say about your book, I read it. I read her book, every page of it. Oh, my God. That was so nice.

He's very supportive. It is so fucking funny. Like for a parenting book, if you're checking out, if you're not a parent, and you're like, I don't know, it's like the funniest parenting book ever. This is why I like to do things with Moshe. Hard jokes. See, he's like a hype man. But it's true. I'm not even joking. I mean, laugh out loud, hard

funny the whole time. Very cynical, very dark, very, very cool. You gotta read it. It's available for pre-order right now. Just freeze your eggs by the time you're 38. That's pretty much the most important thing. Totally. I've always said that. Okay. I've said that for years now. Well, thank you guys so much for being on. This is an incredible episode. We would love to stay for a lot longer.

No. Honey, we've left the secretary in charge of our child. And I also want to say thank you guys sincerely. I hate to be earnest because I know people don't really like when I do it,

but earnestly, thank you guys so much for your work at the Capitol on January 6th. You guys were instrumental. You guys were instrumental. Well, we told you we like National Parks.

What I can say without giving away too much, it would not have happened without you. That is so sweet of you to say. There were a lot of people that really were super, super vital to what happened that day, and we do not like them. Mostly you guys. And none more than you. That is sweet of you to say, and yeah, I guess. Did they win?

Yeah. At the Capitol? Did you? Yeah. Well, I'm curious. Did they win at the Capitol? Did we win? We got Nancy Pelosi's stapler and stuff.

They kind of, but I mean, it's like, they do look stupid. They're going to prison one by one. Oh, they are? That's amazing. Yeah. Well, it depends who you listen to. Well, I didn't, I haven't kept up on that. We gotta go.

We love you guys. That was a Hidgum Original.