Keeping Records - The Town Crier (with George Civeris and Sam Taggart)

Episode Date: October 7, 2022

Well looky who we have here: it's the literal titans of the heterosexual podcasting world, George Civeris and Sam Taggart (Straightiolab). To keep things super duper straight this episode, the gang discuss Reese Witherspoon, owls, Lady Gaga, taking a nice long walk in the fall, and then circling back to Reese Witherspoon again.  The aliens also get the BOGO deal of a lifetime with two sets of artifacts rocketing off into space:  George's Artifacts:  The Final Scene Of The Movie Wild (Film Scene) The Music Video For the Song "Why Go?" by Faithless ft. Estelle (Music Video) Using Leftover Pasta Sauce to Make Shakshuka For Lunch the Next Day (Food Hack) Sam's Artifacts: Lady Gaga Muppet Christmas Special (Audio-Visual) The Feeling When A Guy You Think Is Straight Turns Out To Be Bi (Feeling) Season 3 Episode 7 of HBO's Girls When They Go To The Beach House (TV Episode) Follow George on Instagram and Twitter, follow Sam on Instagram and Twitter, and follow Straightiolab on Instagram and Twitter! Watch the video version of the episode Follow the show @keepingrecordspod Advertise on Keeping Records via Gumball.fm See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This is a HeadGum Original. In 1977, NASA sent two solid gold records into space so that aliens might find them and understand life on Earth. I send greetings on behalf of the people of our planet. And friendly wishes to all who may encounter this voyager. Now, we're making new records with our friends. Hello everyone! Hello!

Hello and greetings to everyone! Peace be upon you! We step out of our solar system into the universe seeking only peace and friendship. We know full well that our planet and all its inhabitants are but a small part of this immense universe that surrounds us. Hello from the children of planet Earth. Oh, well. Anya's eating fruit snacks. Anya's eating fruit snacks. Anya's, oh, crazy.

Casey's also eating fruit snacks. I thought Casey was just surfing Any your fruit snacks. Yabba-dabba-doo. Okay, Fred. Hey, we got Freddie Flintstone on the pod today. Whoa, whoa, whoa. That was me slipping on a banana peel. Does that happen to the Flintstones? I don't know, but that's the energy I felt like I was bringing.

Listen. Welcome back to Bedrock where we're here. Welcome back to Bedrock with EJ and Shelby where we talk Flintstones and nothing else. We don't let it stray for even one minute. Today's guests, Pebbles. And Wanda. I don't know the rest of their names, but they are coming on and we're going to get to know them together. What is going on with you? Oh, my God.

What is going on with me? I ate a tuna salad this morning. So you're a tuna person? Oh oh my god are you not i don't eat fish or meat but oh i knew that brag flex yeah brag flex plant-based um plant-based i'm the plant i'm the plant-based god that's what i I always think that. I'm like Shelby plants. It's like synonymous in my mind. But Lindsay, huge tuna freak. And one of my best friends, Gabby.

Shout out, Gabby. Also loves tuna. Obsessed with tuna. And then my neighbors got a Shiba Inu puppy and they named it Tuna. And it's been sort of a thing. Everybody's like talking tuna. Everyone's a thing. Everybody's like talking Tuna. Everyone's talking Tuna. That's like classic.

Like, yeah, it's like. Well, because Lindsay and Gabby both, well, Gabby specifically loves Shiba Inus. It's her favorite thing. Oh. And she and her parents have one. And so to have a Shiba Inu puppy named Tuna was like a really like. That's crazy. Gabby encapsulated.

And then, you know, when we walked past the dog, Lindsay's always like, Tuna, I love Tuna, Tuna, Tuna, Tuna. Oh. Tuna, Tuna, Tuna. Yeah. Tuna, Tuna. So you had tuna salad today on the sandwich? Actually, no. Oh.

It was sort of like a deconstructed tuna salad sandwich. So no bread? So it was like a salad with tuna on it. Okay, so not a deconstructed sandwich, just a tuna salad salad. Yeah, it was a tuna salad salad. Was it tuna salad on top of a salad? Yeah. It's a tuna salad salad. It was a tuna salad salad.

Wow. Yeah, and it was really filling and good. Okay. Yeah. Where did you... Did you make the tuna salad yourself? No, I actually got it... I got it at a cafe.

And that was a weird choice to be eating in public, honestly. I feel like... I don't know. No, I mean, not to be eating generally in public. I eat in public all the time. Is it the same as a tuna nicole salad? No. Oh, my God.

I wish. No worries. Tuna nicole salad. I was introduced to in the last year. Okay. Well, you haven't had it because you don't eat tuna. Correct. But have you had the – because there's components of it that you would eat and enjoy.

I don't know what a tuna nicoise salad is. Oh, my God. It's amazing. It's like a – it's sort of like – okay. Oh, God. How do I explain this? I'm getting so sweaty um it's sort of like a charcuterie board idea in that there's a lot of splashing around um in that there's a lot

of components and you can sort of pick and choose so so there's like potatoes like little potatoes what are they fingerling in a tuna nicoise salad? Yeah. Yeah, Anya's saying yes. I'm understanding that I had no idea what this was. I had no, it's not a salad, basically. I mean, it is, in that there's vegetables and other stuff. But, like, I wouldn't think of it. It sounds like a dish. It's a dish.

It's definitely a dish. It's like, there's dressing, there's potatoes. Anya, help me out. What else is there? Usually, like, green beans. Green beans, there's potatoes. Anya, help me out. What else is there? Usually like green beans. Green beans. Everything's slippery. This is a buffet.

And like oil. Egg. Is this not just going to a buffet and putting stuff on your plate? That's how it feels and that's why I love it. You don't have to be. It's French, Shelby. Okay. Buffet?

Yeah, yeah. Our buffet is French in nature. Where does the word buffet come from? I meant self-nicoise. I understood that by the word nicoise just on premise, but I'm just curious also. The word buffet. The silent T tells me we didn't make that up. Someone had to give it to us.

Buffet. It's named after the piece of furniture where you like lay out. It's like a sideboard. Okay. And that piece of furniture is French? It's a buffet. Yes, it's a buffet. But the root of the word.

No, it's French. That's what I'm saying. Yes. It's French all along. I knew it. Thanks for tuning in, too. Everyone doubted me and nobody believed in me and I was right all along. Buff knew it. Thanks for tuning in, too. Everyone doubted me, and nobody believed in me, and I was right all along. Buffet is French.

Everyone wants to say buffets are for Americans because we're chubby, chubby, chubby. Wrong. Buffets are French, where they're skinny, skinny hot. Which means that buffets can be for skinny, skinny hot people, too. Yeah.

Yeah. EJ, if you had to give a menu a meal to an alien as the only meal that they were gonna get right when they got down like the first meal what are you gonna serve them chicken fingers and fries sick right you know are you giving them sauce uh yeah i, they can choose ketchup, mayo, Chipotle mayo. Charging extra for sauce, only for ranch.

Okay. Whoa. I want them to have a realistic experience. I got in a fight about ranch the other day. About what happened? I learned that

Hidden Valley invented ranch. And I brought that fact to someone else having learned it thinking, that's unbelievable. So someone looked you in the eye and said, Hidden Valley invented ranch. No, I brought that fact to someone else, having learned it, thinking that's unbelievable. So someone looked you in the eye and said Hidden Valley Invented Ranch. No, I learned that on my own research.

Okay. Okay. Okay. And then I, Ranch came up in another conversation and I said, did you know Hidden Valley Invented Ranch? And they said they thought Ranch was from like the 1700s. I said, you think that in the 1700s they made a dressing and called it ranch? No chance in hell. That is after we colonized America.

Right. Food. Ranch, yeah. That's like the 60s. Mm-hmm. 50s, 60s, I don't know. You think ranch was invented in the 1950s? That's when we were doing a lot with dairy.

1950s. When we were like, wait, did you know we could put dairy in almost anything? Oh, my God, where they were like, drink a huge glass of milk every time you sit down. Yeah, they were like, dairy is actually, that's where we begin. Yeah. So, anyway, Anya nodded her head as if what I had said was factual. Hidden Valley Invented Ranch? Yeah.

Yeah, I just Googled it. Yeah. What'd you find? The dressing, some guy developed it in Alaska at his ranch. Oh. And when guests

would come, they would serve them this dressing and people loved this stuff so they made Hidden Valley Ranch. Yes.

So technically, they just, they made, the guy made, but they were the first like commercialized ranch. Yeah. And I said that to someone, and they just really weren't believing in me.

And I was like, why would I bring this up if I didn't know it? Because frankly, I love ranch a lot, and I would never destroy its history. If it had a richer history, I would celebrate that. You would honor that. I know that. Yeah. I know that's true of you. Are you ranch head?

100%. Ranch head? I like you. Are you ranch head? 100%. Ranch head? I don't like ranch. Are you blue cheese? Or neither? Neither. Wow. No dairy-based sauces.

I don't like, yeah, I don't like dairy-based sauces. Are you lactose intolerant? No, I just don't like dairy-based sauces. I think that is a trait that I am seeing more and more in people. I think people were hiding in plain sight about it. They were like, I don't want to admit it for a really long time. And people have started to be like, you know what?

A creamy white liquid doesn't sit right with me. Yeah, it's becoming definitely more normalized. I do like the Chick-fil-A sauce. Now I need Chick-fil-A. It's like a thick white thing. People don't love that. Hey, when you get those thick whites.

Those thick, rich, creamy whites. That's what was my name in high school. Oh. No, stop, everyone. Seriously. Literally, like, be real for a second. We have two guests coming on that I'm really excited about. Well, I'm excited, too. Okay?

God. Everyone's being, like, so messed up. I was just, like, excited to introduce our guests. Yeah, I know. And I heard that they were like, stop introducing the guests. And you were like, just like excited to introduce our guests yeah I know and I heard that they were like stop introducing and you were like I'm trying to introduce again

right and you didn't even want me to no and I didn't I wanted you to but no one would let me talk about it either okay well our two guests are really really talented

funny guys let's start there okay let's first let's start there thank you for saying that let's gender first okay let's first let's start there thank you for saying that yeah gender first always

um you took a breath like you were gonna speak then I got scared my god um you know them from their podcast Stradio Lab.

Ever heard of it? Get listening if you're not already. They're funny. They're silly. They're George Samaris and Sam Taggart. George, Sam. Hello. Hi.

Are we recording? Are we on? We are. Yeah. We did. We just, I don't know. Oh, I could ask for confirmation, but as far as I know, we're recording. I think we're recording.

Yeah. Okay. We're getting some thumbs up. Yeah. That is so dangerous. Right. Yeah think we're recording. Yeah. Okay. We're getting some thumbs up. Yeah. That is so dangerous. Right. Yeah. Uh-oh.

Who knows what we're going to say. I'm like, zoom in. I'm going to make you guys full screen because I'm like, you are, it's kind of a wide shot and I need to know

what exact facial expressions you're making at all times. Otherwise, I won't know how to react. That's really smart. I said this to EJ the other day. I learned that, you know how people have like resting bitch face? Yeah. I don't know how to react. That's really smart. I said this to EJ the other day. I learned that, you know how people have resting bitch face? Yeah.

I don't have that at all. And what I have is resting sad face. When I'm not actively engaged, people are always asking if I'm okay. So if I look sad, I guess I want to tell you I'm not. Yeah, she might be happy. I might be happy, but I'm going to look sad. It really sucks.

So then we won't put too much weight on how you're sort of looking. We won't put too much weight on your... Like if I'm sitting here like sobbing my eyes out, like that doesn't have to mean that I'm sad. It could mean like so many things. And like don't ask if she's okay. Luckily you're so far away that I can kind of barely see your features. Perfect.

Good, good, good, good. That's actually what I asked for. It's in my rider. How are you both? Sam, you can take it away. Well, we're doing incredibly well. Let me speak for George. I never know how I'm feeling until Sam tells me.

Oh, that's super healthy. Symbiotic. Yeah, yeah. No, George is doing really, really good. He had a full day of work, but he's not feeling tired from it. He's actually feeling a sense of purpose and fulfillment. And even a joy to – he can't wait for this podcast to be over so he can go to bed and get up at 6am and work

again because this boy loves to work and you know Sam had a pretty good day he has like one more thing he wants to get done and it's weighing on him a little bit like it's like an email that he knows he needs to get back to but he's like

he didn't make a note of it, so he, in his mind, is like, fuck, don't forget. You can't write it down right now because you're in the middle of this, but don't forget. I have to say, he was in a better mood approximately 10 minutes ago,

but it started raining, and the weather really affects his mood, and so he's kind of feeling a little in shock because he hadn't looked at his weather app, so he wasn't expecting that it was going to start raining. And so he's still processing like, okay, where do we go from here? George, the way that you're actually 100% right on that is actually

jarring to me. And George, how right was he about you? Well, see, I think Sam took a more comedic approach to this where he's like, he knows that I am tired took a more comedic approach to this where he's like, he in fact, he knows that I am tired after a day of work. In his kind of like, if anything,

to kind of gas me up as a form of wishful thinking, he is saying I'm not tired. So I think Sam at his core knows exactly how I feel, but he was more doing it. He was taking some liberties. Yeah. Yeah. Performing, if you will. Yeah. Yeah. I was taking some liberties. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Performing, if you will.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Trying to, I was trying to rewrite your narrative. Yes. And it worked. Yeah. Incredible writing though.

I mean, it was really compelling. Thank you. I was tuned in the whole time. I could tell. Shelby's eyes were popping out. Well, Sam is one of the most in demand writers in the industry. Yeah. I'm sort of really in demand as a writer in the industry, which is amazing.

Yeah. Books, newsletters, scripts, whatever, as long as it's words. You know what I mean? That's going to be the new big thing in the industry, I think. Newsletters. And people think you mean email newsletters? No.

We're going to be printing them out and we're going to be handing them out kind of in a grassroots way. And you have to handwrite each one. Each one. No Xeroxing. No Xerox, no printing. It is putting pen to paper.

Oh my God, I can't. It's a lost art that we, I think, as an industry are getting back to. Thank you, Shelby. Oh my God. No, the pen to paper as a reaction to the streaming wars, it's been so powerful. It's just – Yeah. It's so nice to see that.

I'm trying to get the town crier back. Yes. Yes. But so few people want to work these days. Yeah. Yeah. So if anyone would just accept it's a really low benefits job though, honestly, because there's just so much travel. But the exposure.

It's huge. You get to see like so many places. Like I sort of thought that that was enough, but no. No. No. You aren't interested in being the town crier anymore. People are so greedy. No, get your fucking ass up and be the town crier.

Literally. Wake up. Literally. Put your shoes on yeah and go cry to the town get the hat with the bells and just get out there like it's not it's not a huge thing like make your own shit like if you want to make your own start crying yeah oh my god start literally you can wake up and start crying like well it's like no one's going to cry for you. You know what I mean? If you want crying to happen, you need to go be the town crier. Exactly. And you are your biggest town crier.

That's what I mean. Wow. Right. And people want to complain about robots taking jobs and stuff. And it's like, if you're not going to be the town crier, I'm going to have to get an owl. And if I get an owl, I don't want to hear you complain that owls are taking people's jobs. Yeah. It's quite simple, really.

Because owls don't need health insurance. And I think they live a long time. I don't actually know. No, I think they live a long time. I feel like owls live a long time. They have a wisdom to them that only comes with time. I actually heard a pretty troubling fact about owls recently. Oh.

Yeah, I heard they're actually not smart. Whoa, okay, wet blanket much? Okay, owls are himbos. Essentially, owls are himbos. They really present smart. They're like a guy in glasses. Yeah. They really present as like, I feel like

owls are the professors of the woods. Their reputation weighs on them because, you know, they didn't ask to be portrayed in this way in the media. You know what I mean? That's true. They never said they were smart. That's something we put on them. They were always, they were actually telling us, they were always just like, who? They were like

what are you talking about? Yeah. And constantly asking questions. Yeah. We didn't listen. We don't listen. And then people were like oh that is so wise.

Yeah. People were like wait we should be asking that more. Yeah. We should be asking that more. Putting words in their mouths. Who?

What? Where? What? Those are the questions we need to be asking. Yeah. And owls are starting the conversation. They start the

conversations. They can't really finish them. No. Yeah. They can't really stick the landing. No. No. But they can spin their heads like crazy. Like crazy. Personally, I hate that. I don't like that one bit. What do you hate about it?

I just don't like how fast it is. I mean mean i think the thing that really gets me about owls honestly the head spin thing is like okay it's scary but it's fine the eyes i don't know if you've ever seen like a uh diorama or a diagram of like the diorama i don't know if you've ever seen my diorama i made of owls, where it's like the eyes are, if they were the size of humans, how big the eyes would be. I don't know if anyone's, have you ever seen? I've never seen this diorama. I'm like 70% there with what you're saying, but keep going.

Okay, so owls' eyes, like proportional to their bodies, if the owl was the size of a human, the eyes would be like the size of softballs or something insane like that. It's just upsetting to me to think about that. I don't enjoy hearing about it. No. If a human walked in here with softball-shaped eyes, I would say freak. Yeah. I would say freak, and I would get them out of here. I would not be tolerant. Yeah. I would say freak. I would say freak and I would get them out of here. Right.

You would maybe want them out of here. I would not be tolerant. No. I don't think I would be. I would be looking for weapons in the room. I would be looking for weapons. I'd be looking,

I'd be going to kill. I would have immediate prejudice. I would be doing discrimination full on. Yeah. Yes. Because it would, it's scary.

Do chameleon eyes freak you out? No, I'm fine with those. Okay it's scary. Do chameleon eyes freak you out? No I'm fine with those. Okay cool. No chameleons are gorgeous and stunning actually. Do you have an issue

with chameleons? No I actually think they're the coolest animal. They're not my favorite animal I don't think but now that I'm thinking about it I'm like are they?

I think they're amazing. They can do so much with so little. And if they walked in to apply for a job I actually would give it to them and I would not be discriminatory. Whereas human with softball eyes, I would say literally we're not there yet politically.

I think I've literally gotten upset before that Geico is a gecko. Like I'm like make it a chameleon. That's way cooler. You know, I have one issue with chameleons actually. Okay. Yeah. I think they've changed colors too slowly. A hundred percent. You wish it was instant.

I wish it was instant. You wish it was octopi. Exactly. Oh, yeah. That's what I wish. Yeah. Because they go crazy fast. Oh, my God.

Instant. And that's what you want. You want to put on a show if you're going to put on a show. Right. I do think octopi is kind of the goal. Yeah. Generally speaking. Well, they're the gold standard.

Nobody's doing it like that. Broadly speaking. Oh, my God. I mean, when they go on land for a second, crazy. That's nuts. That's nuts. When they fit through a tiny little hole, hello. Oh, my God.

Versatile legends. Oh, my God. Literallyatile legends. Oh my God. Literally. This brings me to my next point. As someone who believes octopi to perhaps be alien, I think this is so often our segue into talking about aliens is octopi specifically. I make it a point to make every conversation end on octopi. On the podcast, we're off.

If I'm at dinner, I go, and this brings me to my next point about Occupy. I know so little about them for that to be my move. But if you were making new records to show the aliens about Earth, I guess I'll start with George. George, what would

be the first thing you would show them? What do they got to see? Well, wait, hold on. Can I say one thing before we do this? Sure. So Sam and I picked different things, and actually we don't know what the other picked. I'm obsessed. We have not shown another.

That's really romantic. But I do want to say one little peek behind the curtain is that I almost sent this text to Sam, and I was like, wait, we cannot be this kind of codependent, where I almost sent a text to Sam saying, FYI, Benito Skinner already picked Art Pop so you can't pick Art Pop I think

well okay you go ahead I'll go first I picked something in that universe of course I'm not going to be me but go ahead you have to be yourself for Aliens that's the number one rule I actually have to pull up my list okay so should I just go in order?

Any order you want, whatever you feel. I'm ready to hear whatever it is you want to tell me. Okay, I will do... Okay, I'll do my first one. My first one is the final scene in the 2014 film Wild, starring Reese Witherspoon. Thank you. Have you guys seen it?

Yes. Well, I watched the clip. You've never seen the whole Yes. Well, I watched the clip. You've never seen the whole movie? I haven't seen the movie. I don't know why. I feel like I really wanted to and never... I think you would really like it, Shelby. Okay, so Lindsay's reading the book right now.

Whoa. Which is a book that I purchased years ago and never read. Yeah, and I'll go right out and say it. I've never read the book either. No, I hear ago and never read. Yeah, and I'll go right out and say it. I've never read the book either. No, I hear it's really nice. Yeah, I hear it's great. I have seen a stage adaptation of her other book that was adapted and starring Nia Verdalos for My Big Fat Greek Wedding, and I would say it was a two to three stars out of five.

Wait, wait, what was it called? Pretty Little Things, I think, or something. Tiny Beautiful Things. I saw this as well. Big Little Lies? Yeah. Pretty Little Liars. Yeah, I would give it

about that same rating for the rest of it. Oh, you saw it too? I did. It was, I had to leave at one point because I was laughing. Do I not digest art?

No, you digest a play of art. Okay, everyone's seen everything. Wait, okay. So do I, should I explain the clip? Yeah, I mean, whatever, maybe speak to what prompted you to put it on the record. I'll speak to why this is something that I would give the alien. And you can give like a quick, here's what it is. Yeah, I mean, the thing with Wilde.

So Wilde is about Reese Witherspoon and she, she has a really difficult childhood. It's about her. It's about Reese Witherspoon, the actor. She has a really difficult childhood. Um, she,

her marriage falls apart. Her mom dies. She has a very difficult, um, divorce. And she feels like she's constantly fucking up. She's a drug addict, blah, blah, blah. And so she decides that she's going to take

a long hike. Period. And so that's kind of the plot of the film. So as she's taking this hike, what is just kind of like, I do think it's a uniquely human experience to be like, I'm going to do a long walk. And just to clear my head.

It's kind of like the ultimate long walk to clear your head. She's actually going to walk literally from Mexico to Alaska. I don't know, it's not to Alaska. It's close, It's up there. She walks on water. She gets really religious. Yeah. At least no.

Yeah. And so the final scene, you know, throughout the movie, she's walking, she's walking, and then of course different things remind her

of different things about her past, so then there's all these flashbacks. And basically, the final sequence, which starts before the clip that I sent, but I couldn't send like a 10-minute clip basically the final sequence which starts before the clip that i sent but i

couldn't send like a 10 minute clip the final sequence starts when she runs into she's of course hiking she runs into this little boy okay and um and she starts talking to the boy whatever and then the boy um is like i want to show you how I can like sing the song. And so the boy starts singing the song and has like the most angelic, beautiful voice. And so it and so the boy sings a song. Then his mom or his grandma or something comes and then takes him away. And then after the boy leaves, the boy's song just like impacts her emotionally so much that she like breaks down crying. She just like falls to her knees and starts crying and then there's like all these flashbacks to like all the different

traumatic parts of her past and all the different parts of her life and basically then i when i watch the movie which i do approximately once a year starting at that point i start crying until the end of the film so it's about a 10 minute stretch where I'm kind of like, I would say hysterically crying. Sure. So starting with the boys singing and then she starts crying. And then after that, you see her walking and finishing the Pacific Crest Trail, which is the hike that she's famously doing. And so as she's walking along the bridge. Which, as we know, ends in Alaska.

Right. That's right. It ends in Alaska. Mrs. Claus is waiting for her at the other side. So then what happens is as she's walking across the bridge, the voiceover is like her talking about what that, I think the monologue starts with, what if I forgive myself?

And so it's like her being like, I've done all these things, I've had all these difficult times, I've done all these things. I've had all these difficult time. You know, I've made all these mistakes, whatever. But what if like now that I accomplished this big thing, I can actually start over. And then she also has this thing where she's like, what if like one of the lines is like, what if heroin actually taught me something where she's she's like, rather than regretting, she's deciding that it all everything she has done up to this point has led her to who she is now. So that it was all in the service of becoming who she now is. So, yeah, basically I just think that's kind of like the ultimate human story. And the aliens will finally understand where we're coming from. No, I'm like that's so beautiful. It really is.

I also like thinking that she hadn't had that thought until the last steps she was taking on the trail. She was walking for, I think, months. Yeah, and it was a really long walk. It's a good thing that trail was long. She was month three, like, wait, what if everything happens for a reason? She was like, holy shit, I'm on to something. I have to start over. But that's just, there's so much.

It's like the fact that she was moved by like the innocence of this young boy and then that made her think about herself and her youth. And then she's like finishing this big project and she feels so accomplished. No, if I hiked the Pacific Crest Trail, which is something that I've thought about doing a lot of times and will never do um i would decide everything i've done is forgiven i would be like you know you freaking earned it yeah i'd be like yeah i've done bad things i also just i'm better now yeah yeah i mean just like the after like sitting through that whole movie and seeing everything just like her when she says what if i forgive myself i mean i actually can't talk about it too much because i will start crying that's okay it's totally impactful

no yeah for sure i also love i love the idea of the aliens receiving this because you're right it is such a human thing to be like oh this land let me trek through through it. Like, it's like... Exactly, yeah. It's just sort of like, oh, yeah, that's what I got to do, and I'm able to do it, and I'm... I mean, to be honest, I also have thought about hiking the Pacific Crest Trail a lot of times. It is expensive. It is very expensive.

No one talks about how it's expensive. No one talks about how expensive. You have to, like, ship stuff to you. But anyway, I do love the idea of, like, the literal act of, like, walking in the aliens being like, oh, these guys just walk it off. No other animal would be like, I need to walk out my trauma. Yeah. I need to like walk through multiple kinds of landscapes and see them change.

Yeah. I don't know. Maybe like wolves do that. Yeah, but they would do that because they need food. They're doing that for a mission, right? Their mission isn't just like, I want to feel a little bit better today. They're not trying to process their divorce.

I'll say this. Not even an octopus has ever tried to process its divorce by walking. I'm certainly not an owl, my friend. Yeah, right. An owl doesn't even know they have trauma to work through. They wish. They wish they did.

Oh, my God. Idiots. Owls. Oh, my God. Owls are so annoying. An owl, let me tell you something. An owl could not even process the intellectual heft of a divorce, let alone the emotional toll. They wouldn't even, like,

address their failing relationship because they couldn't look inward enough. Exactly. They'd stay married forever. Divorce rates among owls are really low, and it's just because they're not intelligent enough to get out. Divorce rates among owls are really low,

parentheses derogatory. Right. Okay, genius. They're troublingly low. I, yeah, there is, like, because all people in general will be like, I just think I need to go take a walk. Like even in the middle of like a work day, you'll just be like, I need to go take a walk. And you're like going around your block. And there is like, oh, the gravity of things being bigger means bigger walk is a lesson for the aliens.

Yeah, it's kind of like how long can your walk be? Right. That's the question that Wild answers. And it's like pretty long, actually. It can go on for months. It can actually go from end of land to end of land. Yeah. Once you hit the water, you have to stop.

Yeah. Probably. Hopefully. Hopefully. Yeah. One time, I was in a really bad mood last fall I can tell this is a similar narrative to wild This is kind of my wild

I was in a bad mood once last fall I remember it very vividly The leaves were changing and I was in a horrible mood and I went for a four block walk took 100 pictures of myself walking That's key I never felt better in my life For a four block walk, took 100 pictures of myself walking. Yeah, that's key.

And then I felt, I never felt better in my life. I felt fully healed, not an ounce of negative energy inside of me. Absolutely. I think having pictures really helped. Yeah. Sometimes the pictures really, really help. If you flip through those really fast, you can see your mood change. The light really returns to your eyes.

That's so true. The first one you're like, oh, you can see your mood change. The light really returns to your eyes. That's so true. The first one, you're like, oh, I don't look so good. And then by the end, it's like, wait, it's actually kind of a cute picture. I'm actually having a nice time out in the fall. Yeah, Bushwick is beautiful. If you take enough pictures. Right. If you take enough pictures of anything.

It can be so so what what huh sam what is first on your record okay well george absolutely dragged me by saying that i was going to bring something similar to benito skinner. And he is not wrong, although it's, you know, a variation on the theme. We're not not going to be gay guys. You know? And no one's asking you. Thank you.

No one can bring the kind of masculine voice that I did with the final scene from Wild. Right. That's what I was thinking as well. Yeah. That was like very butch. Toxic masculinity. So now we can go a little more queen-y.

Yeah, right. Yeah, would you bring some? Okay, so my baggy choice is Lady Gaga and the Muppets Holiday Spectacular. Oh, yeah.

Yeah. Thank you. Yeah. It's a very powerful piece of media. It really shows sort of a weird time and culture because it was art pop era and it was a holiday special with the Muppets where she's performing all of these songs

that the general public did not like. And just doing it with a full smile and huge costumes and trying to squeeze in holiday joy in an already complicated, too much album. And then there's the Muppets for some reason and they're loving it. Apparently they love every song on ArtPop and

in fact love to perform them as well. And so I think it would maybe throw off the aliens if they did see it. They would sort of be like, wait, I thought I knew what they were about, but now I need to sort of learn more. Well, also to add Muppets to

the mix, it's like they're just now getting used to what humans are. Like, they have to get used to, like, the concept of a puppet. Like, what kind of creatures are these? Are there more of them? Yeah. And I'm still not even comfortable with puppets.

Yeah. A lot of people aren't. A lot of people aren't. For aliens to have to get involved with puppets, I'd be like, listen, not all of us get it either. Yeah. Especially the Muppets yeah the muppets i i mean there's a muppets cinematic universe like they they exist in their own yeah it's famous and it's successful so i feel like yeah it's important for the aliens to know but it is also like okay how do you intake that information? What are the next steps? What are the next steps?

And I think we as humans, I think we're even maybe concerned at that point in time. And it was sort of like, what are we supposed to be getting out of this? And what's next? But here we are it's sort of a wild type moment where we as a culture actually could look back on that trauma of um sort of a muppets holiday spectacular and say that actually made us who we are today so is she changing yeah i haven't seen it i saw it once maybe when it i just had to say that to ask my question. I didn't want everyone to be like, wait. So I haven't seen it.

Does she sort of change lyrics to be holiday themed? Is she, what's the holiday aspect of it? Or is she just like, my music can be for a holiday if it wants to be? She's just like, my music can be for a holiday if it wants to. Like, it'll be like, I'm doing like G-.Y. and then I'm doing like Deck the Halls. And it's like not like one of the more famous videos of it is like performing fashion with RuPaul. And she's dressed kind of like a brown condom. And it's like for Christmas with the Muppppets it's insane and it's truly like what

are you supposed to be taking away from this and it's very unclear but it's also it's one of my favorite things to watch because it is just like there's something very joyful about it and just sort of being like you know what i'm just gonna have fun and I'm not going to critique myself in a way that, yeah, it's not enjoyable for some people, but I mean, I love this stuff. I love thinking of the aliens trying to be like, wait, we... Okay, so of all the groups we've made people into,

because they have to, who is this for? Is this for kids? Is this for adults? Is this for... Party? Gay people? They're like, who for? Really, at the end of the day. Yeah, okay.

So we've got a visual aid here. We're seeing Gaga in the brown. We're seeing Gaga in the brown. The brown. The poopy condom look, if you will. I really appreciate that Sam respects the aliens enough to give them such a challenge. Like, I really was like, what are the building blocks of like this? You know, what is a human story?

Like, Wild is such a simple movie in terms of like the plot and everything. And I'm like, okay, this will teach them what basic human emotions are. Whereas Sam is like, here's something that confuses even humans. Well, you need to show them that we're messy too. We have flaws. It's not so clean. And it's making me realize that I was being

almost condescending to the aliens with my choices. You were treating the aliens like owls. I'm treating them like owls. You're treating them like octopi. Right. I think there's room for both, right? Like I want to give them the building blocks,

but I don't want them to come down and think that we're really like cookie cutter because they're going to be really confused. Right. We want them to have tools in their toolbox to be prepared for what they might encounter, which could be wild and it could be Muppets. Yeah, it's a real mixture. Yeah. It depends where they land, really.

Right. Regionally. Regionally. It depends on what sort of web access they have. It depends on whose house they're in, especially around the holidays. Oh, you know? Especially around the holidays. Oh, my God. Especially around the holidays.

Especially around the holidays. What? It could be anything. We are going to take a quick break. Quick. And then we'll be right back. And we're back. Huge.

That's them throwing it back. George, Sam, you guys can answer this in any order. What is something that you would delete from the records altogether? And it doesn't have to be like war or famine. It can be something really small that you're just like, they don't really need to get involved with this. Yeah. Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm. I can go first. George, do you have one? Yeah, please. So my answer is the website buzzfeed.com. Okay. Speak to that. Speak to that.

Because I feel like basically around 2012, 2013, probably 2012, I would imagine BuzzFeed was founded. And just for the record, I know people have worked there. This is not a personal thing. This is about what it represents, which is kind of the dissolution of human potential. And so to me, the success of BuzzFeed is like,

okay, we are going to use the dumbest possible parts of the internet, of human language, of memes, and then just use that to generate profit and to make people dumber and dumber. And then also at some point decide to add even a layer like moralizing on top of that, where it's like, well, then the headline becomes like, you know, Kate Beckinsale claps back at body shaming trolls or something, you know, and it's like, it's a completely like, fake controversy that they created. Like it's even more cynical than just like an eye-grabbing headline in an old newspaper or something. And so there's something about where I'm like, maybe they don't have to learn about the history of media after BuzzFeed. They can just learn about magazines, newspapers, you know. Yeah, yeah. Books. Even honestly, I actually would, I think podcast newsletters, that's okay.

But no digital native. No listicles. Listicles and quizzes and websites. Yeah. That's really smart. That's really smart. Did I have fun taking some BuzzFeed quizzes in my life? Of course.

Listen, we all did. You had to. How else did you figure out who you were? I mean, yeah, that's the one concern I have is that how I don't know if I would know who I am without a BuzzFeed quiz. I definitely wouldn't know I'm gay. I built my whole personality off of it. No, I wouldn't know I was gay without

TikTok. Taking a BuzzFeed quiz is kind of the millennial and Gen Z version of hiking the Pacific Crest Trail. I'm going to really bunker down and talk about what color jeans I would wear.

You know what? I need to actually get serious and take a BuzzFeed quiz. I need to take a long, hard look at myself and pick a BuzzFeed quiz. I need to take a long, hard look at myself and pick a pattern. Well, the craziest thing about BuzzFeed to me was that at the beginning it was like fun little listicles.

Like, it was around, what was that website called where you would, you could just click and it would serve you a random website. Did you guys ever do this? StumbleUpon. StumbleUpon. These to me happened in tandem. And it was like, I just want something to look at

when I'm like in lecture or something. Like I want to be like looking at something. And BuzzFeed and StumbleUpon did that for me. I'm going to go on StumbleUpon later, a perfect website. So StumbleUpon, just to clarify for me and maybe those listening, it was just like a, it just would randomly give you any

website. And it was simpler times. Yeah, totally. You would end up on a website and just be like, this is nuts. But it would be like images, it was like fun, like you would like find like fun. Yeah, you can pick your interests when you first go on. So you would be like, I want to see anything about art, animals, weird stuff, phenomena.

And then you would just be like, stumble. And you'd be like, holy shit, it's a game. I can play a game on here. Oh, so it would be a game website. No, sometimes. Or you would go and just be like, here's a bunch could be anything. You just be like, here's a bunch of zebras. You'd be like, that's awesome. I had a friend

who like lost himself in Stumble Upon. What? I had a friend who was so into Stumble Upon that he like became a different person. Until he stumbled upon himself. Until he stumbled upon the love of his life. Whoa. Put him on Match.com.

Yeah, ended up on Match. Ended up on Opie Cupid and really fell in love. No, but BuzzFeed and StumbleUpon were, like, to me, both mindless. It was like, I need something to, like, put my eyes on. And then BuzzFeed created a tab that was, like, BuzzFeed politics.

And I was like, now what are we doing here? Like when BuzzFeed started actually like being like, no, we also do serious journalism. I was like, get the fuck out of here. Like, who are you kidding? Well, which was also, I mean, that's a whole other story. But they did actually then have a newsroom of like talented journalists. And then it was so unfair to them because it would literally, they're like deep investigations would just be placed along quizzes that were like which Muppet from the Lady Gaga Christmas special are you? I bet that was literally one of them.

And also like for them because nobody wanted to admit like I was reading this on BuzzFeed. Not because of the way that people were writing the serious articles but because of what BuzzFeed already was. Yeah. So it was like, oh, you know what? I was reading this really compelling article on, you know, the weird website that's like 45 reasons why kids are actually kind of scary. Yeah, that's where I found out. I have to say, I literally went on, I was thinking about this yesterday and I went on BuzzFeed.com

and literally the first thing was, I swear to God, it was like 44 tweets that will remind you of the 90s. No. It is a new tweet roundup of tweets about the 90s. Wow. Ten years later. I love that. It just makes you feel sick.

And I won't even say, like, again, the crazy thing about BuzzFeed is, I had some good times on that site. Yeah, absolutely. Listen, we all remember where we were when the dress happened. Yeah. Oh, my gosh.

I legitimately remember where I was. I actually remember where I was as well. Have you guys ever seen the one that they did? It was like years later. The Vans? No. No. Do you know about the watermelon The Vans. No. But have you seen, do you know about the watermelon video?

No. No. The watermelon video was, and I'm sorry if this is like not exactly correct, but I'm 90% sure it is. They had a live stream of a watermelon and they kept putting rubber bands around it. And it was basically like how many rubber bands until it explodes. And so like millions of people were watching this live stream of just them putting rubber bands until it explodes. And so millions of people were watching this live stream of just them putting rubber bands on a watermelon. How many?

It's those things. It's like watermelon, the dress, 90s kids will remember. It's like the most base level. It's like how low can you go? Turns out the limit does not exist. Yeah, very, very low. I feel like when, God, I hate my brain, when the Cincinnati

Zoo started live streaming Fiona, the baby hippo, I feel like BuzzFeed had six new articles every day. They walked into the room and they were like, everyone make sure you get your Fiona pitch in by the end of the day. They saw that little hippo and dollar signs went into their eyes

and they said she's a star and they were onto something they were like people love her we gotta get on that i was like because as long as people are still posting things on facebook like as long as like grandparents and aunts and uncles are posting things on facebook buzzfeed buzzfeed will continue to thrive because that's the only place I see those things being shared. Yeah. It's like... Used to be college students, and now it is 55-year-old white women. Yeah. The Midwest.

Being like, check Fiona out, growing every day. You will not believe how big Fiona is now. Yeah. Sam. I think I have one. What do you think you would delete? I think I have one. I've been racking my brain.

I don't know if you could feel my distant energy for the last five minutes. I was wondering, where'd you go? We missed you. I see you in there. I see you. I've come up with something controversial. Maybe. I don't know. I'm trying to hype it up. No, I don't know. I'm trying to hype it up.

No, I don't know. Roll some feathers. It's okay. Okay. The Ghostbusters movies. Wow. Oh, my God. Uh-oh.

Turn the cameras off. Including the one with the women? Yeah, including the one with the women with Kate McKinnon? Sure. I mean, we can delete that one, too. Okay. Just wanted to check. It wouldn't make much sense without the first without the IP existing already.

That's true. They really were like, we can get loosey-goosey with it. I've been told to watch these damn movies for my entire life and then finally I watched them and I was like, it's a real like you had to be there moment. It almost is like Yeah.

It just doesn't hold up in any way. And I actually think people were just caught up in sort of a moment. They were like, wow, we're going to be in the 80s forever. Let's really live it up. And that's just not the case. They're flops. They're not funny. And they're, I mean, Sigourney Weaver's a slay and, and she can stay,

but that's it. Thank you for saying that. Thank you for saying that. That was going to be tricky. Yeah. That was scary for a second. I also, did you guys do any, like,

was, was roller skating parties like a thing for you guys? Oh yeah. Oh yeah. In like middle school? Okay. Ghostbusters, the song.

I feel like I, like it's ingrained in my memory that I have to be like skating backwards in a circle being like Ghostbusters and the lights

are like flashing they're like alright time for the spooky skate everyone turn around and you had to go backwards and you're like

who you gonna call Ghostbusters could you could you do it backwards? You could skate backwards? That's really hard. That's really hard. Good for you.

Yeah. That's really impressive. How often do you look at yourself in the mirror and say, you are beautiful and you can skate backwards? Yeah. I guess tonight will be the first. That's not enough, clearly. I'm blushing. Shelby, you're bright red.

I'm blushing. Oh, my God. Yeah, clearly. I'm blushing. Shelby, you're bright red. I'm blushing. Oh, my God. Yeah, I guess I can skate backwards. So, just a little thing about me. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. I don't know really.

So, Ghostbusters was mostly just like a Bill Murray vehicle, no? Yeah. Yeah. And honestly, bringing that up is even like it's that bill murray culture is like one of the more toxic things um yeah in our society wow sort of the like like no one will ever believe you like because he will always like be crazy to people at parties and be like, ooh, Bill Murray did a crazy thing. Or like having like Bill Murray have like his like image being like a, just sort of like you can put Bill Murray's face on a t-shirt and you're like cool.

You like are a certain type of cool. And it's like, okay, but what do you like about him? Like there's always like, okay, what is this? No one's ever specific. Yeah, Bill Murray culture is this? No one's ever specific. Yeah, Bill Horry culture is really eerie. Yeah. Yeah.

It's just, it's red flags. It's sort of, you're not investigating yourself enough. Like, you're not asking why do I like this so much? Yeah, it's weirdly pretentious. Well, because I lived in Chicago for a while and he's a big Cubs fan. And it would be like, if you went to a Cubs game,

they would just show Bill Murray truly just being like... And the crowd would just be like, fuck it, that's my fucking guy! Oh my God. You're like, what's going on? Yeah. I think he's just being normal. Yeah, there's a normal Yeah I doubt that

But In that moment? You think something else Something is going on in here? Yeah Yeah I mean I do think he's not normal

Right But he was being normal On the screen Oh yeah Like people are I see what you're saying He was just watching the game And people were projecting onto him Like Oh iconic play This guy's people are I see what you're saying. He was just watching the game and people were projecting

onto him like, oh, iconic play. This guy's fucking crazy. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You're right. You're right. Yeah. There's also the thing

about him. Thank you for saying that. Him, like, being cast, like, it's always that thing of, like, you know, he doesn't have a you just call him and leave a voicemail

and he responds if he wants to be in your movie. And it's always like, okay. Like, is that good? Not that you felt so strongly about Bill Murray. Yeah, wait, I feel like you know a lot

about Bill Murray. Keep going. Tell me more. I'm sort of in my backlash era with him because I feel like he was really shoved down my throat. And it was sort of like, I actually did think, I still even have positive associations with him in my mind, but I'm sort of like, well, why? What

work of his do I enjoy? And it's like, I'm sure he was a slave for the times, but it doesn't speak to me in the same way that it speaks to them. I don't know. I feel like I'm just supposed to uphold it. A slave for the times. You're kind of holding yourself accountable with the Bill Murray stuff. Yeah, for the first time in my life, yeah. Yeah, I appreciate it. Thank you.

What is an – I have seen them. I know I hadn't seen some of the other stuff, but what is the premise of Ghostbusters? They're just going to take care of them? I have seen it. I just – explain it. They're just literally taking care of them. The premise of Ghostbusters is they're literally just ghostbusting. They're like, that's what they do. Yeah, they're like getting taking care of literally just ghost busting they're like that's what they do

yeah they're like getting rid of the ghosts that's the whole premise pretty much that's pretty much it I have to say I'm like shocked

that you think that's not enough of a premise for a comedy film I don't think it is I'm like okay I'm bored you're like

okay are the ghosts LGBTQ like is there an added thing why are we busting them for what I'm like okay I'm bored you're like okay are the ghosts LGBTQ like they're an added thing why are we busting them for what let them live

that's kind of how that's true it's kind of a carceral it's definitely a carceral logic in the movie damn like okay we're imprisoning ghosts for what

they're just trying to live literally die yeah they're just like they're like hold on we already died once and now they're getting

sucked into vacuums yeah getting sucked into vacuums. Yeah. Sucked them into vacuums. Listen, ghosts lives matter. Yeah. Yeah. It's just, yeah, it's a simple. I really like Sam's like, I totally agree that you had to be there with Ghostbusters.

And I like ending the nostalgia cycle by being like, this ends with humans. The aliens will not have nostalgia for Ghostbusters. Yeah, yeah. They can't. They're not allowed. It needs to be viewed at least with some sort of objective eye. Well, the last thing we want is the aliens seeing Ghostbusters and thinking, oh, that's what the humans are trying to do to us.

Right. That's true. That's the other thing, yeah. And honestly, the humans are trying to do to us. Right. That's true. That's the other thing, yeah. And honestly, the problem is they actually probably should see it as a cautionary tale because if we saw the aliens, we would actually try to ghostbust them probably. Yeah. Again, depends where they land. It depends on where they land.

It depends on what energy they come out with. I really think, above all else, it does depend where they land. That's true. If they landed here right now. If they landed in L.A it does depend where they land. That's true. If they landed here, if they landed here right now... If they landed in LA, it depends where they land. Because if they landed on... Right, are we talking east side or west side? Yeah, it's like, it really

does depend. And if they landed on, like, a studio lot? Movie, immediately. Well, obviously movie immediately. Documentary immediately. Documentary now. Yeah. Is anyone listening? Anyway, I think it does depend where they land on if we're trying to bust them,

but I think it is more likely than not that we don't treat them with kindness. Yeah. Just give them history. Yeah, just, you know, based on, yeah, the past. Yeah, and how we behave, usually. Yeah. Humans and stuff. Yeah.

George. Yeah. What is next on your records? Oh, are we going back to records? Okay, let's see. I'm trying to keep us on schedule. Okay, so next on my records. We're running a tight ship tonight

Okay Okay So next is something that probably People don't have a context for But I will take an opportunity to in fact Describe it from beginning to end It is the music video for a song Called Why Go

By the British electronic band Faithless featuring Estelle, who American audiences might know from American Boy. Yeah, classic song. So this video, I'm going to describe it and then we can kind of talk about what it means. So it starts out, there's this woman and she's dancing at a club and the song starts playing. And so she's dancing, she's dancing.

Everyone starts leaving the club. She's still dancing by herself she like can't stop dancing she loves dancing she then like is kicked out of the club but she's still dancing she dances all the way home she gets home she's still dancing gets up in the morning puts on her little skirt suit to go to work still dancing folks she's on the subway still dancing at work she's doing a presentation at work literally still dancing as as though the song is playing only for her she's dancing she's dancing she's dancing slowly it becomes clear that she's kind of being ostracized in society because people are like she's a person of dance and and and like and no one else are we human or are we dancer very much yeah so she's like she's dancing in the subway stop she's dancing in the store she's dancing on the subway stop. She's dancing in the store. She's dancing on the street. And people are walking by her being like,

my God, why are you still dancing? We're on the street, actually, not in the club anymore. And so she's at a mall. She's dancing. Everyone hates her. Everyone is saying, flop, go away. And so then she's going down an escalator, and up the escalator comes a man who keeps dancing.

Whoa. Wow. So there's a man who can't stop dancing who people also find to be kind of, you know, like someone they don't want in society. So as she's going down the escalator and he's coming up or maybe it's the other way around, I can't remember, they make eye contact while they're both dancing

and they fall in love because they're the two people in the world who are dancing. And so then you see them going on a date and they're both dancing and they're in love because they're the two people in the world who are dancing. And so then you see them going on a date and they're both dancing and they're the only people dancing at the restaurant. You see them going home and having sex while dancing. No. Then you see them...

That's why I draw the line. How did he do that? Then they get married and they're dancing at their wedding. And then in the final scene, she's having kids and the kids come out dancing. And so, and then in fact, that's the second to last scene the final scene they're all having like a family dinner and there's like a big turkey and stuff and the whole family is dancing so basically this is i was really hoping you were about to say in the final scene is that like he's dying and she's dancing

she's like rest in peace bitch i thought the turkey at the turkey dinner was going to be dancing with them I also thought the turkey was going to be dancing but you know what though that would actually make a mockery of the whole situation cheapen it cheapen it you're right

again like wild this is a very human story that is like it's this very human narrative of like concepts like soulmates or like being an outcast or dancing to the beat of your own dancing to literally dancing. Yes. Simultaneously, you know, it's a music video.

So they would learn what a music video is. They would learn what nineties British electronic music is. They would learn about 90s British electronic music is. Huge. They would learn about 90s fashion, which was actually a really cool time for fashion. Definitely. They would also learn, I'll say, the struggles of being a woman in the workplace, because she's wearing her skirt suit, she's trying

her best, but all people can see is a woman dancing. And they hate to see a woman thrive. You literally hate to see a woman having wow you literally hate to see a woman like having a nice time yeah oh my god but mostly that's like this to me i mean this like idea it's almost like a it encapsulates like what every rom-com is what every love story is it's like two people that are meant to be together find each other and it does it with no dialogue purely like just the the conceit that the two of them can't stop dancing a story told

through dance is nothing else so powerful i really do encourage everyone to go and watch this music video so do you like the do you also like the song i do actually like the song yeah i think the song is great i think it's a really good song. But it is certainly the music video that I would show to the aliens. 100%. I was just curious if this was like, in spite of the song, I love the video. Or it's the power of them both together. No, I love. And you know what I like?

Do you know what I always like is like an electronic song with a strong female vocalist at the helm. Thank you. I do too. Yeah. So to me it's like that you need this song in order to then have like the kind of David Guettas and the Calvin Harris's of the world. Yeah. Featuring, let's say, Katy Perry.

Thank you for bringing up David Guetta. A Florence and the Machine, you know. Yeah, yeah. No, the aliens will need to understand that lineage. Yeah. Yeah. I want them to know, one, men and women should be together. Yeah.

Exactly. That's the other thing. Let's start there. Let's start there. To be asking, yeah. Let's start there. I wish that they had another woman come in dancing and she was like, yuck, yuck, yuck. That would really hammer it home.

I feel like part of the message is hetero love is true. Right, exactly. And the initial woman can be like, yeah, I'm a dancer, but I'm not a lezzo. Yeah, yeah. Something like that. Maybe she spits or something to really illustrate the gag.

They're dancing away from each other being like, no, no, no, no, no. But then when she sees Amanda, she's like, that's for me. It's a hubba hubba situation. Yeah, a big hubba hubba situation. Yeah. I do think, because I think sometimes I want to put a rom-com on there for them. I think that's an important cultural phenomenon.

But that's really long. It's a lot to ask of them to sit through one. And this gives you everything you need to know about them right away. It's efficient. This is like similar to Wild. It really kills a lot of birds with one stone in my opinion.

I like the approach you took with your list. You were like, how do I get exactly what we are boiled down to just a few pieces of meat? I mean, I have three chances to do this. Yeah. We don't have time to pussyfoot. Yeah, exactly. Thank you for saying that. No pussyfooting.

Yeah, you got one shot. I'm actually embarrassed at how we took such different approaches. See what's next on yours. Let's get serious about it. I'm actually embarrassed at how we took such different approaches. Like yours is very like. Let's see what's next on yours. Let's get serious about it. Okay. So it's actually like,

I sort of was like almost like writing a personal letter to the aliens. Like I was sort of like, no, I want you to see me for who I am. Both are valid. Really? Okay. Yeah. That's, and thank you for saying that. I see you.

I hear you. I respect you. Yeah. Okay. Because mine is pretty personal and it's the feeling when there's a guy who you think is

straight and then he turns out to be bi. Whoa. Have you had this happen, George? Of course. This is one of my favorite feelings in the world. When it happens, I'm elated to a point that like it's christmas morning it's a snow day it's like this is insane there's magic in the world that everyone's capable

of so much um and you know it's also telling you don't limit yourself like believe just follow your dreams and i actually disagree with your assertion that that is somehow not universal and it's like and you did not choose an expansive enough view of humanity like it's actually one of the most universal possible things yeah what it actually is

is like oh someone is not what I thought they were and in fact they're better they're better exactly and in fact I they're better. They're better. Exactly. They're better than I thought they were. And in fact, I'm pleased by that. Yeah.

It's a classic don't judge a book by the cover. 100%. One of the main human things. Right. One of the main human things. I love main human things. It's like, yes, yeah. Yeah, I'm addicted to that Especially the way in which you find out can really make it more magical

Oh my god How are you wanting it to be? The best way for it to be found out for me Is looking at like, sort of a Finding out via Instagram A classic. Seeing that they follow a bunch of hot

porn adjacent accounts. That's not what I thought. Seeing that he follows Troye Sivan. No, follows a thirst account very purposefully. that's a dead giveaway this is so beautiful and and what a way to make a splash you know it's i like thinking that you

are you've imagined that a bunch of straight men are bi because they like follow fitness accounts you're like born adjacent that's goals that's goals and you're like you're fucking gay dude bro come over they're literally following like NFL athletes

that just happen to post pics from the locker room yeah no these guys are biased Kyrie Irving whoo

whoo I no Kyrie Irving's a flat earther so you're assuming they're biased on their Instagram activity to be clear you're assuming they're bi based on their Instagram activity, to be clear. They're not coming out as bi. They're not coming out as bi, but you don't always need to come out. What is coming out?

This is breaking down a little bit. No, no, no. You're not following. He didn't finish. Later, you also see them fucking a guy. Oh. Okay. But he also has a girlfriend, so you know he's bi.

Yeah. Bisexual. It's a very specific type of account. It's not a fitness account. These are gay. They essentially are accounts that say, don't follow me unless you are attracted to men and want to have sex with men. I've seen them. That's what they say. They go live and say that don't follow me unless you are attracted to men and want to have sex with men. That's what

they say. They go live and say that. Wow. But that only happens live, so you wouldn't be able to see it if you went to the account now. There's no way for me to fact check that, really. No, it's like when they go live, they definitely always say that. And usually

they're live. Yeah, and maybe I have screenshots, but probably not not honestly. Yeah. Like I respect their privacy and like the beauty of what a live is and like how it's temporary. Like I'm not going to sort of desecrate that. Like it's fleeting. That's like the appeal. Yeah.

Listen, finding out someone you didn't think could be interested in you could potentially one day be is magic. It's a crazy feeling. It's a crazy feeling. Is it that you just like that they're bi in general or like is there personal interest in it? Is it an imagined future?

Is there lust involved? I think a lot of times there is lust involved. Unfortunately, it is an impure feeling. Nothing wrong with that. Don't be so good on yourself. It's more like, oh, I have a chance and I have never thought of this

as having a chance before. Okay, so even more human. You're like the humanist human. You're like the humaniest human. So you're saying there's a shot. Yeah, literally wild found dead because now we finally can get to the root of human feeling. Yeah, even just a shred, you know, being like, oh, they follow these four random male accounts. How deep are you keep coming back because i've totally never had this experience like oh my god just serendipitously come upon

that they follow porny male accounts people that you thought were straight culture my girlfriend would do this she would be like no i found out this blah blah blah blah because they followed x y and like i would be like, no, I found out this blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, because they followed X, Y, and I would be like, oh, my God. Yeah, some people really take it upon themselves to do that. You're a detective. Yeah. You don't accidentally follow people, you know? Well, I have to disagree.

I'm accidentally following a lot of people, and then I only find out if I go to least interacted with, and I'm like, what? Least interacted with. Best feature ever on Instagram. I didn't know that was a feature you gotta go if you click on your followers at the top you'll be able to say

like who am I least interacted with oh wow it's very eye opening cause you never see them in your feed and then you can just go unfollow I don't care obviously I don't care you know yeah it is my unfollow mechanism it's beautiful so if I've unfollowed

recently it's because I don't interact and Instagram told me that yeah so like explicitly you gotta be messaging you gotta be liking you know

at the end of the day I'm helping at the end of the day me unfollowing helps your ratio because otherwise I'm not interacting and you have a follower

that's actively not interacting with your content I'm doing you a favor. So don't be upset if Shelby unfollows you, you guys. It's like not that big of a deal because it helps you at the end of the day. You should be saying, thank you, Shelby. Shelby unfollowed me.

I didn't think you'd see that. I'm so curious. I can't wait to see who I at least interact with. It's literally scary. You're actually like, whoa. It makes me feel like a scientist. Because they aren't shown in your feed. So it's like, I had no idea this person was even a person.

Yes. It's like someone from high school and you're like, whoa. Huh. Okay, bye-bye. Huh. Huh. Yeah. Huh.

Damn. Well, everyone's on blast now I'm not to unfollow if you went to high school with me watch the fuck out you better start reacting you better get in those DMs our time is winding down but I want to hit a few more George what is next on your records

I can just do one more I would be happy to end on this one. This is the million dollar one. So this is the experience of making pasta with a red sauce for dinner and then the day after using the leftover sauce to make a shakshuka for lunch. Wow. Wow. Holy shit.

Something I've never – I've made shakshuka. I've made pasta with red sauce. I have never thought to use pasta sauce for it. Where did you learn this? Human resourcefulness, innovation, frankly, just the concept

of possibility. Yeah. And also repurposing raw materials recycling sustainability you know what you do is you obviously you know you have pasta

and this is in fact I saw that Jo Firestone's one of her topics was Rayo's pasta sauce and that is in fact my sauce of choice so you use half a jar another endorsement on the pod so you use half a jar. Another endorsement on the pod. Yeah. So you use half a jar for your pasta.

Delicious. Some freshly grated parm on top. And then the next day, you saute some garlic and shallots or onions or something. Maybe put some spices, like maybe a cumin or paprika. Then put the sauce in. And then mix in the sauce, put in the eggs, okay? Then you serve yourself,

put some parsley and feta on top, you have the most delicious lunch you could possibly imagine. I have a question, and this is truly preference. Are you not putting chili peppers in there? Well, that's why you get the arbiata sauce which is spicy got it i was gonna say because shakshuka traditionally spicy and i'm hearing a lot of sort of mild spices i'm like this

is kind of nuts and i will say so you do arbiata and then you do crushed red pepper as well if you want it to be spicier thank you and i'm i just want to say like i have also made real shakshuka with like for you know where it's like you're actually making it from scratch. That's not what this is. This is like a workday lunch where you're like, what a treat that during the workday I'm having such a nice lunch instead of just a sandwich. I'm not saying this is like. I want to eat nice, but I don't want to cook for four hours. It's middle brow.

Middle brow. We don't talk about them enough. Yeah. middle brow we don't talk about them enough no yeah I'm not under the delusion that this is like the best shakshuka ever I'm just saying it's like but just to have that to be resourceful in that way to be sustainable in that way and then of course

you know eggs are such a huge part of eggs tell such a story. Oh my god, do they? The chicken. The chicken and the... Which came first. Contemplations on time. You can also learn about the concept of brunch

because I feel like shakshuka is kind of a classic brunch dish that you can order. The concept of brunch because I feel like shakshuka is kind of a classic brunch dish that you can order. Correct. Chicken pincels, yeah. The concept of sauté. For me, I'm loving this because I love shakshuka. I love pasta. I'd love to have both back to back.

And I have never considered using, I have always been like if I want to have shakshuka, I either have to order it from a place or I need to slave away in the kitchen I need to put like cayenne and crushed red pepper in a pan

with oil and then like fresh tomatoes this is a little hack I'm telling you I also think like this is so important because lunch is like probably one of the most painful meals of the day every time it's lunch time I'm like this could be the end of my tenure on earth because lunch is probably one of the most painful meals of the day. Every time it's lunchtime, I'm like,

this could be the end of my tenure on earth. Yeah. And yet, there are these little things you can do to make it a little more manageable. Because I want to eat something that tastes good. There are no good lunch foods. Everyone wants to tell you to get a sandwich. And what I say to that is so few are good. So few.

So few are actually what you want. You can have a sandwich. It'll do its job. But so few really leave you saying, wow, that was a great sandwich. And so often lunch is either a sandwich or a salad. And in fact, often when it's not, it's too heavy. So to have something that is both not a sandwich or salad and not super heavy is, I would say, revelatory.

I would agree. Yeah. That is so important. Your joints are going to eat well. That I know. Yeah. That we so important. Your dance hands are going to eat well. That I know. Yeah. That we can promise. Wow.

And then Sam, your final item. Okay. This one I thought was fun because I know George will have some things to say about it as well. I was going to say season three, episode seven, HBO's Girls, When They Go to the Beach House. The title of the episode being Beach House. Incredibly stressful episode.

One of the more stressful episodes of TV of all time. George, were you about to say, is it stressful? No. I was like, Shelby was going to have a conversation about that live on air. No, that actually, that is, yeah. I mean, it's a rich text, but I will let Sam introduce it. Well, yeah.

For those that don't know, the girls go to a beach house and Marnie's being really controlling and they run into some friends and Marnie's being really controlling and they run into some friends and Marnie just can't catch a damn break because the friends want to stay for dinner and they all get drunk and they learn a dance and it's fun, but then they get in a big fight and Shosh blows up at everyone in a famous speech. And then they're all mad at each other. They go to bed and the next day they don't say anything. They just at each other. They go to bed. And the next day, they don't say anything. They just start cleaning the house.

Cut to credit. Can I ask everyone a question? Have you seen it? No. Okay, so unfortunately, this is for you two. Whose side are you on? Of the fight? Wow. I'm on

I thought Marnie was being insane I was on Lena Dunham's side I was on Shoshana's side I was not on Marnie's side I think Shoshana is ultimately what she says in that episode needed to be said and if it hadn't been said the show could not have gone on

thank you I must watch this episode tonight And if it hadn't been said, the show could not have gone on. Thank you. Okay, I must watch this episode tonight. I am anti-Lena in the episode pro-shosh, but not anti-Marnie either. I think Marnie was being crazy, but I'm like, I would have been so annoyed if I was Marnie too. I agree. If I was Marnie, I would have been like, oh my god. Stop. Like, literally stop.

Yeah. No, I think that what Shosh did is basically, like, go around and articulate everyone's flaws. That's, like, the famous... Queen. Speech. And I think that was necessary. I do think separately, like, from Marnie's perspective, I mean, Marnie is also so full of shit because it's like she thinks she's the most put together of all of them,

but in fact she's like the biggest flop of all of them constantly. Constantly, constantly, constantly. She's making like the biggest mistakes. But for the sake of that weekend at least, she was the one who invited them. She was the one who put everything together. So actually, yeah, it's okay to humor her when she's trying to have a dinner.

Thank you. Thank you. Thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you i watched that being like i feel like nobody's pro marnie because marnie is classically annoying all the time but i was like if this was me and i organized all this and i wanted to have a dinner and like my friend was like just could not give a shit less what I wanted I would be losing my damn mind that was an episode to me where I was like oh I think this is maybe a flaw like what how Marnie is behaving is I think maybe how I is like work I need to do on myself like I was like wait I would maybe do that I would maybe be that bad yeah I actually I've been times in my life when I have been that I'm actually more of the uh Hannah in that situation in like a way that's kind of toxic too where I'm always like why is everyone being crazy let's just have fun like who cares we can

order two pizzas like who cares um sometimes the let's just let's just take fun. Who cares? We can order two pizzas. Who cares? Sometimes the let's just take it easy person is actually more toxic than the over planner. Right. Sorry, Sam. We're really dragging you through the mud right now. But sometimes the person who just wants to cook dinner with their friends is right every once in a while like the person who's just like being a little type a about the trip has a point um but that episode genuinely made me be like oh it was something to me where i was like i see my life in this i need to i need to find a middle ground

i can't be either person i that episode really shook me to my core i was sort of like i didn't know you could show what this feeling exactly yeah yeah like it was really like, whoa, I've had this. But that was me. That was internal. That was private. Now it's like, oh, now it's on TV for everyone to see and consume. And I can pull up that feeling whenever I want and have an HBO subscription. It's insane to me. It's going to cost you.

Kidding. Kidding. It's like funny. Kidding. It's like funny. Kidding. You guys should get the subscription. Yeah. To be like, yeah, don't pay for that on this podcast. For what?

Yeah, that, it really like, thank you for adding that episode on. For me, that episode is crazy because you're right. It's like a private moment that you feel like you never even vocalize either party in that. Like, you're just like both annoyed with each other and you both let it go because it's not a big enough thing to like talk about. And so you're like, well, it wouldn't be a moment in a show because it's ultimately a fleeting moment in friendship that we let go of. Yeah, yeah. And then you're like, oh oh no, now it's there. I feel like that's what that show was really good at generally too.

You know? I mean, I've only seen a couple episodes, to be honest. But I do feel like it is like one of those shows where you're like, oh wow, they're really digging in deep with this stuff. Like it almost is too much for me to watch in that way. They put in a lot of nuance into, like, the whole show. Like, there's just the nuance of things

that often gets dropped in, like, a Friends-based show. Yeah. They were like, what if we brought that to the forefront? And you were like, okay. And it's not like

this narrative... They're not doing, like, oh, so-and-so cheated on someone. I mean, at least for the Beach House episode. They're not doing, like... I was going to say,

they do go there. Yeah, they do. But it's not... But for that, it's literally beach house episode, they're not doing like, yeah, they do, but it's not, but, but for that, it's literally like, oh, this is just like the natural tension of human friendship. It's not like someone says, someone says something behind someone else's back and someone hears it or someone cheats on someone or someone like, you know, punches someone. Like it is literally like rising tension. Tense, tense, tense, tense, tense, and then it blows up. Team Shows Forever.

Team Shows Forever. The arc of being really fun. It's still being a fun night and everyone having a blast and then suddenly it's not. I was like, no, this feeling. I hate that feeling. Well, listen. Yeah. This feeling. I hate that feeling. Well, listen. Listen.

We've come to the end of our time with you both, which breaks my little heart. Mine shattered. Been shattered. This is the cleaning up the next morning without saying anything moment of the podcast. Yeah. I think this is a perfect record. I would have to agree. Combined. Combined. Because I really think it a perfect record. I would have to agree. Combined, because I really think it shows so much.

I think it shows the light things. It shows the bigger picture items. I think we're giving them a good idea of what we're like. I think they would understand it flawlessly, yeah. Where can people find you? George, you go first. Oh my God. Well, you can find me.

No, George, where can we find Sam? So you can find Sam on Instagram and Twitter and frankly all over the internet. And you can find both of us at our podcast, Stradio Lab, where each episode is about a different element of straight culture we investigate a different element of heterosexuality each week with a special guest a special comedian guest if you guys aren't listening to it that's sick yeah it's nasty and perverted I guess also just to even it out,

George is also on Instagram and Twitter. I'm actually on a lot of platforms. I'm on Be Real. He's on Be Real and he actually does do his best to try to keep it honest and I can't say the same for everybody. Oh my god. Some people do not keep it real.

And if you can't be authentic on Be Real, where can you be? You know what I mean? Yeah. That's what I keep saying. I literally keep saying that. I've heard Shelby say that. Yeah.

And if you're going to post late, it has to be a nothing post. You cannot post late and have it be active. You cannot post late and be at a concert. If you're going to post at a concert, it has to be on time. Yeah. And if you're going to post late, it has to be you laying in bed. Yep. Yeah.

Maybe in your car. Maybe. That could be. That's boring in bed. Yep. Yeah. Maybe in your car. Maybe. That could be, that's boring enough. That works. Yeah. There's intrigue. Where'd you go?

Yeah. Yeah. Fuck. Thank you guys both for coming on so much. Thank you. Thank you so much for having us. Thank you so much for having us.

We love you guys. Love you. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. That was a Hiddem Original.