Keeping Records - The Yassification of Motherhood (with Ruby Caster)

Episode Date: February 4, 2022

Caleb and Shelby are joined by writer Ruby Caster to discuss how Ruby and Shelby can't read (bummer!!) and whether or not table-side Caesar salad preparation is inherently gay. They briefly touch on Ruby's Golden Record picks (which is incidentally the point of this show): romaine lettuce + parmesan cheese, the best band to have ever existed, and Midol, which Ruby attests is a miracle drug. Spoiler: it seems it is not. Ruby's Artifacts Caesar Salad from Bernie’s Restaurant in Williamsburg, BK (Food) All of ABBA’s music (Audio)  Midol (Remedy) Follow Ruby on Instagram and Twitter.  Watch the video version of the episode Follow the show @keepingrecordspod Advertise on Keeping Records via Gumball.fm See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This is a Hedgum Original. In 1977, NASA sent two solid gold records into space so that aliens might find them and understand life on Earth. I send greetings on behalf of the people of our planet and friendly wishes to all who may encounter this voyager. Now, we're making new records with our friends. Hello everyone! Hello!

Hello and greetings to everyone! Greetings! We step out of our solar system into the universe seeking only peace and friendship. We know full well that our planet and all its inhabitants are but a small part of this immense universe that surrounds us. Hello from the children of planet Earth. Well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, how you doing oh you know another day another dollar oh yeah sure i was hoping you'd say that what if that do you want to talk saying i said often another day another dollar well you'd be a character from the simpsons i think that's what uh you know how it is another day another dollar you're doing a little too hard on the R there

you know how it is another day another dollar like I don't think you gotta you don't give it such an R on that try again another day another dollar another dollar no that's what you were doing that's what you

another day another dollar yeah that's what you were doing that's what you that's pretty much what you were doing another day another dollar yeah that's a little better that's a little better that's a little better yeah that's a little better hey do you want to talk for real

or should we should we keep doing catchphrases I don't know I haven't decided I'm wondering remember remember

remember when you text me shall we text me the other day listeners shall we text me the other day and said

how are you and I said oh perfect lol do you want to talk for real and we both kind of decided no we don't

but Caleb did sprinkle in like one little taste of real after saying he absolutely didn't want to talk about anything real, which is sort of, as everyone might understand,

complicated. You kind of have to address the real. Yeah. I don't remember what I said to you. Avoiding the real. Um, Caleb and I are both in a pretty dark place. Uh,

we both bought, and he has since thrown out and we will bleep this. Of course. How do I feel about c***? No free clout for the girlies, first of all. No free clout for the girlies. We paid for these up front. I will not give them clout now.

I paid $8 for a pair of fur-lined f***s at Walmart. I have decided one thing. If you bought c*** early on in their inception, you had to be, you didn't have to be in any type of distress to get them. To in this year,

2022, buy your first pair of you have to be in the darkest place you've ever been. Mine are fur lined too. Fur lined even. Yeah.

These have that. These are, these are our, these are our, yeah. Well, that's okay. They'll get a little free cloud, I guess. These are our. These are our. Yeah. Well, that's OK. They'll get a little free cloud, I guess.

Blur it. Blur it as well. Your whole video is blurry to me, babe. These are our crisis. You know what's going on in the whole wide world. My dad died last month. Shout out. Shout out. Give it up for my my dad who's no longer living um no it's really complicated

what are you gonna do if you don't laugh well you know the alternative is not fun um yeah it's it's a weird time i was already home i was home for a trip i was home to see a concert and um my dad passed it's really complicated because uh my dad and i had a complicated relationship and i kind of uh you know held out hope that we would uh have like a late in life sort of um situation where he would maybe get you know therapy and we would fix all of our stuff but that didn't happen so now I'm in this weird space of like taking care of helping take care of details from his passing and also mourning his actual life and also mourning you know like a hope for a relationship that we could have maybe had in the future. And all of that basically boils down to me going to Walmart

in the middle of the night and buying... buying Looney Tunes sweatpants and fur-lined... What color? Because... What color am I? They were brown. I thought they were camo. May they also rest in peace. I thought they were camo. May they also rest in peace.

I thought they were camo. They were brown. They were like the brown color of camo, and I tried to get a camo pair, but then it turned out they didn't have my size. So, you know, my fur-lined c**ks were part of the grieving process, and that can be so powerful. It can be so powerful. It can be so powerful. I'm sorry to hear that you be so powerful. It can be so powerful. It can be so powerful. I'm sorry to hear that you gave them away. I think, you know, they're doing something for me.

That's what you're sorry to hear about? I'm sorry to hear about one thing in that story. One thing and one thing, Gabe, and that's that your c***s are no longer with you. You gave your c***s away. May they rest in power. No, obviously, I'm so sorry about your dad. We talk about it often.

You have not even reached out. Don't say that on this podcast. People will literally... The way people on here will... Shelby has not reached out. Caleb and I talk every single day about the situation. Yeah, it's dad watch 22, baby. Yeah.

So it's giving, so it's actually giving, yeah. It's giving, yeah, for me. I think the darkest thing about my if I may besides that they are black is that I bought them in black because I wanted to be able to wear them out of the house. Yeah.

Okay. Speak on that. You thought that them being black helped because they would be a little bit more neutral. They would match with more stuff. Okay. Yeah. I, in my time of need, said, God, I want them.

And not only do I want them, but I don't want to go anywhere without them. It's crazy when you are, like, a funny person going through a hard thing because when people uh treat like when people try to be funny with you about it i i feel i feel like how dare you i'm a real person i'm not funny all the time i have serious emotions and then when people try to be serious with me i'm'm like, oh, can we laugh? Can we have a little fun with it? I don't know what I want from people, but nothing is right. Yeah. My therapist has been explaining that to me a lot. Oh, oh, wait. Did I do something good? Your therapist agrees with me or no?

Yeah. She was like, there are people you want to hear from and you want to be really sensitive to you. And there are people that you want to leave you alone or, and there's people that you want to like that, like you don't have time for like bullshit. So it's like, yeah, there are some people who are allowed to do like actual caregiving and there's some people who you're like, and it doesn't necessarily mean that the people who are allowed to do actual caregiving are the people closest to you. Like there's people who you want certain things from, you know what I mean? And she was like, you're impatient with the people who you don't want to do that for you. Like if they aren't doing the thing you want them for, you don't have the patience to like pretend or like join in and whatever it is. Like if someone is asking me to be like emotional about something and I don't really want to

be with them, I'm like, I don't have the patience to like walk through the steps of it. But then if someone doesn't give me exactly what I want, I'm like, what the fuck? There are some people that haven't reached out to me that I'm like, you are fucked up. And then there's people that have reached out to me that I'm like, you're fucked up. Right. Right. I mean, yeah, I won't. Yeah.

Yeah. right right i mean yeah i won't yeah the there's another funny part i was gonna talk about some i've been involved in that process for you a little bit um has been involved in my process personal yeah caleb has reached what was i gonna say about the oh oh well specifically the the thing that i've been dealing with is wanting to there's something about my aunt and i have been talking a lot about this because we had to write my dad's obituary. Shout out obituaries. Shout out the concept of obituaries. Shout out page four of the newspaper. You guys know exactly what you're doing. Shout out when someone dies and you have to write a little essay. Actually, when we were talking

about who was going to write it, my grandma goes, obviously, Ashley, my aunt, my dad's sister, will write it. And I was like, oh, I'm a professional writer. I don't know if I would say obviously. I don't know. I think maybe I would be involved. She did write most of it.

I get to take a peek, but she did write most of it. It was beautiful. She's a very good writer. But something that she and I have been talking about, and I hope she will be okay She did write most of it. It was beautiful. She's a very good writer. But something that she and I have been talking about, and I hope she will be okay with me sharing this. I guess maybe I'll check with her before the episode goes live. But my dad was, like, a pretty complicated person. And he was, you know, he was, like, pretty gruff and, like, sometimes hard to get along with.

And sometimes also the easiest person in the world to get along with. And it's, like, I feel this compulsion to tell the full truth. Like I, I feel this compulsion to tell the truth of who he was and not just do that thing. Sometimes when people die where people go, Oh my God, they lit up every room and they were so special and we've lost such a force for good. Like, I think people really kind of like, you know, joy wash the memory of people after they've died just to make it pleasant. And I feel a compulsion to tell the full truth about my dad. And I don't know why or if that

it's like, why can't you just tell them to say the nice things? You know what I mean? And let me be really clear right now with you. When I die, have the compulsion to lie. I'll have to, babe, Or else it'd be all negative. Hey, when I die, I want you to have the compulsion to tell only half the truth. I'm not expecting people to have anything negative to say when I die, personally.

I know that you'll have something negative to say about me. I would not. What are you talking about? You're one of my best friends. You're probably in the top one or two hundred people that I hang out with or know. Bitch, I'm in the top three. Oh my god.

True. You are. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I can't. I can't. First of all, do you think he'll die, Shelby? I'll either die young or I never will. What?

What are you talking about? Say that again. I'll either die young or I will never die. Okay, so what's the cutoff? If you make it to like 40, you're like, it's forever. I'm good forever. When I die, it'll either be devastating, missed out on her potential, or it will not happen. I'll outlive everyone.

You will live forever. Okay. Do you think I'll die? No. Yeah. See, I've been getting the same kind of feeling. I don't see that for me. That does not feel like part of my journey.

I have to say. When I think about death, I didn't think for my whole childhood for as long as i can remember i thought that i would die by like 18 i didn't think i was gonna live past 18 i'm talking i was in like third grade thinking that and so i was like oh i'm not gonna live past 18 that's crazy hey being a trip i'm sure oh my god kelly shout out kelly shout out kelly you had a hard job girl but you absolutely showed up you slayed you slayed bitch you could not have been more iconic you've gagged us faggot and the yassification of motherhood the yassification of being my mom bitch you're an absolute fag hag we love you no no no no no no mom for real my mom doesn't listen to this she could if she wanted to but she doesn't

what was i saying oh dying young well ever ever since i've been alive after 18 i've really yeah i've become pretty convinced like well if it wasn't 18 it's kind of never yeah similar to you yeah yeah that's a really crazy thing about us yeah and the listeners got to be fucking thrilled because we'll keep doing this podcast till we die which means maybe never stop yeah i do you think the podcast would be different at 100 years old like if we were both 100 well you'd be 102 or 104 or something you're quite a bit older than me but i'm like six months older than you everyone has their narratives but you're quite a bit older than me but i'm like six months older than you everyone has their narratives but you're quite a bit older than me so i would be maybe 100 right now closer in age than we typically are we're in between our two birthdays

um so anyway you would be quite a bit older than me but we'd be in our hundreds anywhere from 100 to 140 do you think the podcast would be different? Well, here's the real trip. We might have met them by now. The aliens. What are you talking about? What are you talking about? The podcast is about setting stuff up for the aliens,

for them to learn about us. But by then, they might have come down what's up and been a part of our now they're part of our society now we're interviewing only aliens now aliens extraterrestrials are coming to on the pot to talk about what they thought about earth prior to receiving the records and now what they think about us now and what was right and what was wrong. We would actually have, I think right now our podcast, it hovers around number four and number five in the world. We have the fourth or fifth

largest podcast in the world. If the aliens came to Earth and started guesting on the show, I think we would be number one in the world. I think so too, yeah. I guess at that point, I wonder if we'd be universal. We'd be number one in the universe, yeah.

We would be a number one podcast in the universe. And we might already be because we haven't been able to get those feedback from the aliens. But we might have the number one podcast in the universe. Yeah, well, it might not be number one on Earth. It's like, you know, it might be pretty high up elsewhere. And then, you know, average it out. We sort of take the cake. Right, right, right, right. We could be the number, you know. Right. Right. Right.

Right. We could be the number, you know, that's how numbers work is that if we were really big in the universe, we could still be pretty small on Earth and we would

come out on top. like the math, I know, I guess who am I talking to? The listeners, smartest people on Earth. But the math there does shake out.

All terminal degrees. Terminal degrees. Terminal degrees in their field. Little freaks, stand up. Paws up. Paws up, freaks. I will say also, I learned,

I want to get your opinion on this, Shelby. I have learned recently that when you have somebody cremated, shout out cremation. Shout out cremation. We love you. If anybody out there is doing cremation, Shout out cremation. We love you. If anybody out there is doing cremation, keep it up. We're obsessed with you guys. The work you do is so

crucial. Anyway, I found out that you can put people's ashes into jewelry. Did you know that people do this? Yeah. You can also like compress it to almost look like a diamond. Now that's interesting. So jewelry, still jewelry though, you think? Yes. You can put it like as like black ash in like a little inside of something, or you can like almost make a diamond out of it. So I've seen. Interesting.

I learned that and I thought that was really kind of creepy. I don't think I like that. I'm not keen on it either. I just looked it up from ashes to diamonds and I don't... It's just one of those things that it's like... Dark bleak. Yeah, I don't think I like it. It kind of freaks me out a little bit

to be like, and this ring contains the ashes of a loved one. Also, what if you lose it? Also, what if it gets stolen? There's such a different vibe at that point. Could you imagine being robbed

at gunpoint and they're trying to take the ring and you're like, you don't understand. You're like, that's my brother. This is my dad. Please don't take my dad from me. It's not worth anything. I will pay you all of the money that this was worth. No problem.

Not even a real diamond. Please. It's not even a real diamond. It's not a diamond. You think it's diamond and I want you to know one thing and that's that it is not. It is not, baby girl. Oh my God god the robber's a girl twist twist okay women can do anything twist it's 2022 the person holding the gun's a girl what's not a woman a girl what's that joke that claire likes i can't operate on this boy. He's my son. Yeah, what about it?

That's a popular joke. What about it? I was just thinking that was kind of the same thing. Because his doctor was... Oh! There's girls involved. Yeah. We do need more girl surgeons, I think. Women in STEM.

I would want my surgery done by a girl. Women in STEM. Yeah. Girls in STEM. I'm insisting that they're girls yeah you don't want them to be above 13 jewish culture okay i was gonna say do you think that's when people become women but it's actually pretty clear in your culture yeah yeah there's actually a really clear cut off for me and it's it's 13 12 for girls actually yeah yeah boys become men later

than girls girls are allowed to become women at 12. Boys have to wait until 13. And Shelby's bat mitzvah theme, you're all wondering, was Mardi Gras, a different religious holiday. Catholic holiday, Mardi Gras. Catholic holiday, Mardi Gras, Shelby's bat mitzvah theme for the party. Shelby's Jewish. Really? Conservative Jewish.

Bat mitzvah was Catholic not other religion that's cool Catholic all day Shelby was so Shelby was so conservative growing up growing up

Shelby was so conservative growing up that she had her conservative bat mitzvah themed Catholic come on come on come on

she still is pretty conservative Shelby you voted for Trump twice no? only because I would have done it again yeah Catholic? Come on. Come on. She still is pretty conservative. Shelby, you voted for Trump twice, no? Only because... I would have done it again, yeah. Only because he only ran twice. Well, we should... Right. Well, so far. Knock on wood. We should get our guest in here, huh? Yeah, I think so.

This guest is someone I loathe. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. She's a writer. She just she actually just wrapped production on her first movie ever.

I don't know if we can say anything about it but you'll be seeing and hearing about it. It's big. And we're really proud of her above all else. She used to live in New York. She's originally from Rhode Island. Now she lives in L.A.

Folks, you know who it is. You know her. You love her. It's our friend. Ruby Caster! Oh my God, Ruby. Hi. Hi.

What's up, bitch? What's up, bitch? How's it going, bitch? What are you doing, bitch? Honestly, bitch, i'm just fucking chilling bitch um uh yeah it's um it's another beautiful day in los angeles ruby you were you were just in kansas city with me and you abandoned me there um how did you how did you like your visit? It was so much fun.

There was nothing bad that happened and it was perfect. Did you like Kansas City? Do you think Shelby should have come with us? I absolutely think she should have come with us and I'm holding it against her that she didn't. Yeah, you guys are like synced up in a weird way that I don't like. There's just something I don't like going on. Yeah, there's a text that Caleb and I exchanged January 4th that if it were to surface, it would seem we made a deal with the devil.

Yeah. Honestly, I'm going to find the text. It would be really hard for you to find. I'm going to find it. It's not going to be that hard. I'll break into your house. Doesn't matter. Ruby, tell us about life.

Tell us about LA. Tell us about yourself. Tell us about your family, your loved ones, your haters. I would love to tell you about my haters, but I don't have any. There's two of them right here. Honey, you do. Yeah. You're live with two of the biggest you're live with two of them and i gotta tell you we talk to so many people

yeah we have a lot of a lot of friends okay yeah um you're like some of my friends some of my closest friendships were formed out of um talking about how much we hate you. I'm happy to be that for you. I actually have a lot, like, in a way, it almost makes it hard to hate you because of how much friendship externally you've given me. Right. There's enough there that I find it within.

Thank you. God, that means a lot to me. I wish our listeners could see some of the text messages that I get from Ruby Caster. Some of the text messages that i get from ruby caster some of the vile violent uh hateful you would really understand you would really understand our relationship better if you could i know i think i would probably be on some some cancel lists if they saw yeah that's why i can't put they'd be like caleb's abuser ruby resurfacing oh my god hate but i think being canceled would be really freeing like i think Yeah that's why I can't put them out They'd be like Caleb's abuser, Ruby Resurfacing with more hate

But I think being cancelled would be really freeing Like I think if you exposed Some of the horrible things I say to you Then it's like Whatever moving forward it's all just It's just me You and Ricky Gervais both feel that way Yes

We're actually texting right now. It's so funny you say that. Peterson. Jordan Peterson. Jordan Peterson. Jordan Peterson. All of them. Yeah, we're all on the same level of like.

Jordan Peterson, weird politics, incredible in bed. Incredible in bed. I fucked him a few times and it was. It was magnifical. It was magnifical. It was magnifical. Something about the way you're also kissing your fingers is making me physically... I don't really know.

He's a very generous lover. He's a very generous lover. He gives amazing head. He's stuck up in the air. The kisses you're giving are somehow both external and internal. You're both giving out and sucking in at the same time. It's crazy. I went to Austin, Texas. I went to Austin, Texas.

I went to Joe Rogan's podcasting compound. I lied and said I had not been vaccinated. You have to do that to get in. I had sex with Joe Rogan and Jordan Peterson. And it was some of, and people are going to be mad about this. It was some of the best sex I've ever had. I give it five chef's kisses. I love that.

I want the tape of that. I want to see it. Was that part of their podcast? Like, was that being recorded? Yeah, they did a segment. It was on our three of Jordan Peterson's most recent episode. They did a segment where they spit roasted me. And it was so beautiful.

And normally that's not intimate, but it was very intimate with those two. I feel like when we do it, it's not intimate. The three of us. There's a lot of three of us do it. When the three of us do it, there's not intimate. The three of us. There's a lot of... When the three of us do it. When the three of us do it, there's a lot of... It doesn't feel intimate. I feel like I sometimes, like, dissociate. I was going to say, yeah, I dissociate usually when we get into that.

Like, my body's physically there, but my mind is, like, trying to figure out... I never... I never... I never cum when the three of us have sex. Yeah, me either. Me either. But that doesn't stop me from doing it. But what's crazy is and i

don't know if you guys feel this way i'm glad we're opening up i think i felt a little bit locked in on this for a while is that i never know when it ends because none of us come right yes right yes yes 100 yes thank you yes literally i'm like what because and it's hard because you have to sometimes i think that when somebody in the relationship can't come and in this case it's all three of us you have to reimagine what the what the finish line is right yeah right none of us are coming it's almost why do we do it well i do it i mean because i feel like you guys have made it really important said it's important to you so i it is important to us yeah i think it's more so just like it gives me a sense of routine and stability. It's kind of like otherwise my day is just kind of meaningless.

Like there's nothing. I don't need to be anywhere. I don't need to provide anything to anyone. It's something to check off a list when you haven't checked anything off a list. You know? Exactly. It's like doing your morning pages. Yeah.

Or sometimes when you put on the list, like, you put something on the list that you're obviously going to do, like, take a sip of water. Because then you're like, okay, checked it off the list. Done. To me, that's... Something to check off. Yeah. It's simple. I would like to not be the one who gets spit-roasted next time.

Because the last several times we've done it, it's been you guys spit roasting me. Yeah, I don't really see that working any differently though. I kind of think that's the dynamic. That's the structure that works. And I just think I don't really see it being put into – it was the most practical decision, you know? So I feel like – At this point in time, I think it would be, it would change,

in the way that it's giving routine to Ruby, I think at that point, it's kind of throwing things out of whack. It's taking routine away. Okay. It's throwing things away. Okay. Okay, yeah.

And she said it. That's okay. I wanted to just, my therapist has been working with me on trying to say my feelings. We don't have to get results. And so I just wanted to say, I would has been working with me on trying to say my feelings. We don't have to get results. And so I just wanted to say I would like to not be fucked from both ends next time we all hook up. Okay.

I hear you. And I want you to know that I'm listening. And thank you for sharing that. I don't really care. But I appreciate you wanting to share that. I cannot commit to that at this time. That's something I've been working on with my therapist is sort of putting boundaries up. So for me, I cannot commit to that at this time.

And I don't have space for that. Fuck. I don't have the space. If you guys are also working with therapists, then I guess we're at kind of a stalemate. Because we all win. Maybe they should all spit roast each other i don't know i would love to see that moving on though ruby you're super you're super republican you and shelby met at an rnc no we did yeah tell me about that the one in cleveland it was so tell

me about that that sounds like a blast yeah it was really fun i feel like um i couldn't make it i'm a green i'm a green new deal socialist but you keep going ruby no that's okay it was um it was like a really beautiful moment because it was like all of us combined all the things that we all hate um under one roof and there was just so much anger um yeah obviously a lot of it is like internalized that we are now projecting out onto the rest of the world which I think is like the healthiest way to cope with anything is like all the areas in my life that feel like I'm lacking and I'm repressing I can put that onto others money yeah like I've been working with a therapist and the therapist said you know if you are feeling a type of way

about yourself maybe imagine other people feel that way too. Exactly. And action it for them and it'll free yourself by restricting others. Totally. If you feel repressed, make other people feel that way. Repress, absolutely. Especially if it's like self-inflicted repression. Turn that repression into, I'm just going to cut you off.

I'm just actually going to cut you off, Ruby. I want to say, turn that repression into oppression. If I could real quick cut you off. Awesome. I'm just going to cut you off, Shelby. Let's turn that repression into oppression. Actually, I was going to, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry. I was going to say you could turn that repression into oppression.

I'll cut you off right there. I was going to say if you take the repression and you put it onto others, that's taking the repression and turning it into oppression. I'll cut you off right there. I was going to say, if you take the repression and you put it onto others, that's taking the repression and turning it into oppression. I was just sorry, Caleb. I didn't mean to cut you off. I didn't mean to cut you off, but it's almost just like a couple of words different. I'll cut you off right there. I'll cut you off right there. Oh, sorry, if you

don't mind. Neither of you guys can read. Am I correct about that? Absolutely, for me. I can't. That's why I want to get books out of the schools. I can't personally read me. I can't. Speak on that. That's why I want to get books out of the schools. Speak on that. I can't personally read. I don't want other schools assigning reading to students because I can't read. Right. And so that's kind of where my stance is on that.

And I'll cut you off, Ruby. Shelby, you had something to say? If I can cut you guys both off. For me, books can stay in school. If books can stay in school, only if there's also a movie i'll cut you off actually i'll cut you off ruby ruby i'm gonna cut you off sorry about that guns guns in schools yay or nay i mean i'll cut you off right there i think that's a really hard one to joke about I was like

that's why I cut you off I was like well at that point I'll let him cut me off I will get cut off on this one I do think you know what though on that though it's kind of crazy that we got out of school before we had I don't know about you guys but there were no

like mandatory shooting practice. Oh, you're a little older than us. Yeah, you're older than us. I had lockdown rules. I had those. Oh, did you really? Like, we had stuff for, like, bomb, like, we had bomb threats,

but everyone kind of knew those were a joke, and so I feel like there hadn't been any of the big, well, like, kind, I mean, I don't know. Building a bomb's a little harder. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It takes a certain skill set. And just kind of, like, I the big – well, like, I mean, I don't know. Building a bomb is a little harder. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It takes a certain skill set. It's just kind of like I know that no one – people at your school weren't smart enough to make a bomb. Yeah, nobody is doing that.

Like that's just a dead thing. Yeah, I think a couple of years after I graduated was when it started to be like pretty regular. And that's when we started entering elementary school. So by the time we got to high school, yeah. Yeah, I apologize. You're right. You guys are from a very different generation. Ruby, you had been living and working in New York

for a couple of years before we were born. Before Shelby was born. And then, of course, I came several years after that. Yeah, I was there when they were putting the trains in, like underground, when they were building the subway systems. Which was an exciting time. Which was super exciting.

I don't want to make you feel bad. I think it was, yeah, it was a really exciting time. We had a lot of hope for the future at that time. It was great. And I felt like my forces were getting over. I was. Yeah. Ruby was a flapper in Manhattan. I was. That must have been so much fun. It was really fun. And then prohibition ruined everything, but, um, but congrats on being able to vote though. Thank you so much. That was huge. That was huge.

For you. I mean, for us, it was huge. It was huge for me. Do you guys, I know, Caleb, you lived in New York for like a short time-ish. I wouldn't say two summers in college was a short time. But, yeah, I lived in New York for a while. I would say two summers adds up to about four months. It's such a short time, but yeah, I lived in New York for a while. I would say in total, that's up to about four months. It's a short time.

Closer to six. Closer to six. I'd cut you off. Shelby, Ruby, what were you saying? I was just curious. Well, what I was going to say was, did you enjoy your time there? Why was it such a short period that you were in New York? I feel that I know New York better us yeah i'm like why i feel that i knew known i feel that i

know new york better than most people because of the time i spent living there and um no you know i i thought it was i thought it was a very interesting city but i thought i could be more famous in la and it's pretty much worked out that way. Yeah, that's true. That's absolutely true. Yeah. I, I came out here to be an A-lister and you know, it was a gamble, but it paid off. Yeah. Okay. Amazing. Um, to whoever's editing this episode, I want you to know, I just knocked my microphone on a table and it'll probably have just been very loud and you can go ahead and cut that out. I hope it interrupts the part where I said that I'm an A-lister. Then we don't have to cut that.

That can just be interrupted by Shelby's mic. I said, bang, bang. I love that. Well, here's something about New York that I think would have encouraged you to stay longer. There's this place called Bernie's in Williamsburg that is this restaurant. Oh my God, the way she transitioned.

Did you just transition into your records? I'm going to cry because in that moment, Ruby, I actually saw such leadership. I saw such, that was giving Hillary Rodham Clinton. That leadership, that was Condoleezza Rice. You're with me. Yeah. That was beautiful.

Keep going. Thank you. Thank you. That was wild. That was truly one of the craziest things that's happened on this pod. Ever. Yeah. That was insane.

There was a tact and a grace to that that I almost hesitate to call out, but that I do feel needs to be spoken of. Ruby said, I'm sick of the small talk. Let's get down to business. Let's get to my record. It's crazy because the small talk was killing. I mean, it was killing. You know what?

I actually think we need to cut. Let's go to break. Let's go to break for commercials. You know what? No. Let's go to break for commercials. I won't be told what to do on my podcast. Yeah, let's go to break. You know what? No. Let's go to break for commercials. I won't be told what to do on my podcast. Yeah, let's go to break. Let's go to break. You know what?

Our producer says it's time to go to break. Anya said it's break time. It's break time. Bye. Welcome. Bark. Ruby. Ruby, would you give us a bark?

Like a dog bark? Yeah. Like what kind of dog bark? Up to you. Like an aggressive or like a small, timid dog? Doberman. Doberman. I don't know what a Doberman is.

Big. Big, scary. Kind of got me out of my seat. Okay. Kind of got me out of my seat. Yes, queen. Yes, queen. That was serving the hyenas in Lion King, you know?

The last bit. That was giving gay hyenas in Lion King. The gay hyenas. Those hyenas were they, though, I will say. Oh, yeah. Looking back, I'd say those were non-binary hyenas. Mm-hmm. Absolutely.

I won't gender them unless they tell me. That's what I'm doing. That's what I just said. Ruby, you were trying to talk about your record earlier. I was trying, but I was rudely interrupted. So I'm actually going to have to go. But thank you guys so much for having me. I just don't.

Okay, so what I was saying was there's this great restaurant called Bernie's in Williamsburg and um well technically

it's like kind of cuspy like Williamsburg Greenpoint but like we don't need to get into the politics of that but um it's right off of McCarran Park

and they have I'll get in I'll get in these politics they have the best Caesar salad in the world ooh is it Is it the kind with, is it the kind with like, uh, visible anchovies in it? Uh, I, I think that there are optional anchovies, but like, I do think if you're going to put anchovies on a salad, they should be visible. I think it's weird to have a hidden fish in anything. Okay.

It's really, really good. And I would want everyone to, I would want aliens or whoever finds this like record, I would want them to have access to this just because I think it would make sense in their mouth. Like I think a lot of things would be explained in a single bite I have a question about humankind Shelby well Caleb I think you have maybe a question that's probably more pertinent so I'm gonna ask I'm gonna have you go first I would love to go but I actually think that men have had enough time speaking historically, and so I'm going to ask you to go. No, I don't think they have.

I think men need more time. Well, my question was, first and foremost, I love— I'll cut you off right there. I actually think— Kidding, kidding, kidding, go. I'm kidding, Shelby. It's all you, babe. I was JK.

LOL. Oh, fuck. I'm scared because if I go again, I think you're going to do it again. No, no. All honesty, I really support women. You go ahead. Oh, it's going to get worse now because I said what I said. No. no. All honesty, I really support women. You go ahead. Oh, it's going to get worse now because I said what I said. No.

No, no. You go ahead for real. I like when they mix a Caesar salad next to the table. That's something. Oh, that's awesome. Yeah. You know what I mean? Okay. Do you know something. Oh, that's awesome. Yeah. You know what I mean? Okay.

Do you know what I'm talking about? Shelby. Yeah. What kind of porn do you watch? I'm just curious. Because I feel like this is saying a lot. That I like when they mix it next to the table? Yeah.

I just feel like there's something. I'm trying to think. There's something gay about this. Like things all. There's something gay about what you're saying, yeah. I do. I'm curious what category you think want them to make it.

Lesbian. There's something... Because what I think is that you like... You like things to be... Women. I think you like things to be really exposed. Like, I think you want... I think you're like to be really exposed. Like I think you want, I think you're like, well, perhaps.

You tell me. But I think. Maybe there's a business woman. Maybe there's a business woman working late on a deadline. There's like a buildup to it. Like you're kind of edging watching them do it. For me, I'm like I put in my order and then leave me alone while I chat with my friends and then my food comes. Like, I don't need to see the process because for me, it's like, if I, if I want to do that, I would, I would stay at home and watch my

roommate make me dinner, which she does every night. You know what I mean? Like, I don't know. Out of curiosity. First of all, it's watching the professionals do their job. It's not like your roommate's doing it. Okay. No offense to Allegra, but it's kind of like at this point, it's sort of. She's a pro. She's a pro. Pretty good. Yeah. Yeah. But it's not like, you know, watching like the, you know, like the big guns, you know, but, but more than that, I think out of curiosity, you're saying you want to put in the order and then wait until they bring it to you. What is the point equivalent to the time between placing your order and receiving the salad. I just feel like when you are like, I think that there's a lot of extra.

Do you like kabocha? Do you like kabocha? It's whatever to me. It's like a, I was going to say it's a toss up. It's like a, it's kind of like. Put in a drum thing there. It's like, sure. I think a drum thing. It's like, sure.

I think I don't, here's the thing. I don't really care for theatrics is what I'm getting at. I don't need the theatrics. I don't need the extra, the judge. I'm like, let's get to the fucking point. You know what I mean?

So it's like, I understand how you toss a salad and I don't need to like, Oh, you're going to shave the palm in front of the guy. I know how this worked. I think, I think that it would be more interesting if it was some really obscure dish, but I don't need to watch someone make

me a fucking salad. So you're into masturbation porn. You like to watch people masturbate. That's the porn you're into, then. I'm guessing. I mean, it depends, but yeah, I mean, let's just cut to it. You know? Right, okay. Sure. Okay. Okay. You said earlier that you think

the aliens eating this salad, that it would answer a lot of questions for them. Can you give me an example of even two questions that it would answer for the aliens? I think, well, I think a Caesar salad in particular is a really special food item because it's kind of this whole like it is the least healthy version of this thing that is so often labeled as like a health food which is salads like everyone's like I'm just gonna have a salad but romaine lettuce which most most users are made with romaine is like just water essentially then cheese creamy dairy blanketing water um which i think is funny like i think that that's like an interesting i don't know i think it speaks volumes to to the human to the human race and right what we're willing to we're willing to we want we want so badly to have a health food that we will make it the least version of itself in order to have it. Totally. But it's also fucking delicious. So it's like.

I absolutely hate to quote The Good Place on this podcast. But it's kind of like they make a joke that was like frozen yogurt is like making something ice cream worse so that we could have more of it. Totally. Absolutely. Or when people try to miniaturize things, they're like, like mini Snickers, like, well, it's just the mini version. And it's like, yeah, but I'm going to eat the equivalent of a normal size one. I have to ask you guys about something. Oh my God. Go ahead. Go ahead. Go ahead. Go ahead. I saw something online that has haunted me to my core. have any of you seen this new company called no it sounds like if i find out it sounds like

if i find out that they're just making food into square shapes i'm going to lose it is that what it is is that what it is i'm that what it is? I've lost it. I'm going to put this in the chat real quick. This is one of the worst things that's ever... I've lost it. I want you to just look at their main page. You just have to look at their main page because it's one of the craziest things I've ever seen. I'm scared. Do I close that thing? Home page. And of course,

we'll bleep this because no free clout for the girlies. Oh, I hate this. I hate this. Get it away. Get it away. Get it away. I cannot stand this. This cannot be tolerated. Did they make ham square? No.

Why would they do this? They made beef square. They made ham square. They made veggie burger square. They call them squares. Eat your squares however you want. On the go as a quick bite or in a microwave if you're in a hurry. Oh my God, these people need to spend some time in jail.

What was the branding behind this? What was the concept? Our goal is to make people's lives easier without sacrificing taste is sort of there. That's the big. So you just put stuff in a square shape? How is that making anything easier or better? The squared shape is the result of the cooking process needed to achieve our goal. Our meals are portion-controlled, already seasoned, portable, long-tasting, long-lasting, and tasty.

Versatility at its finest. In our kitchen, we take advantage of thermal shocking, low-pressure cooking, and vacuum sealing. This is disgusting. These people are not well i don't like oh they're sustainable they're eco-sustainable never mind oh we love they're eco-sustainable i want to apologize the team is all men and one woman i love it four men one woman and from the picture ratio it seems like the conversation i oh my god this is so funny.

Imagine pulling out a square on the subway. Oh, that would be the least gross thing someone could pull out on the subway. If we still lived together. Oh, I know, honey. I would love if someone just pulled that out on the subway. If we still lived together, Caleb, I would buy these just without telling you

and just as sort of like a little prank. Leave one in the bathroom, like on the sink. Just like... You bought stuff similar to this. Bless you. Bless you, bless you. Hands in square ham. I would say...

I would try things that Shelby earnestly had in the house sometimes just as an experiment, and it never went well. Shelby would have like... What? What did I have? What did I have? Shelby would have like all natural organic rhubarb popsicles or something else horrendous like that and i'd be like let's

see why i mean this i guess kind of circles back to the caesar salad thing and i'm i'm now being completely hypocritical here but i'm like why have a like if you're gonna eat something gross just eat something gross like i don't want a healthy version of a cookie. I just want a fucking cookie. If I'm trying to be healthy, I'll have a Caesar salad with extra cheese. Do you know what I mean? Like if I'm going junk food. I can have more if it's the gross version. I'm just, I'll drink ranch if I want to be healthy. But if I'm, if I'm trying to be disgusting, I want a real popsicle. I don't want like an organic rhubarb popsicle. I want high fructose corn syrup or nothing.

But so no, because I like really tart stuff. And usually the all natural stuff, no added sugar, is tart. Is tart. It is a taste thing to me too. Okay, fair enough. Fair enough. This isn't like a health thing. This is just a palate thing.

I try and eat healthy, but at the end of the day, sometimes mama wants something without any added sugar you're pretty good shelby's pretty good about eating healthy shelby's pretty good about eating shelby will have like a handful of sprouts that's something shelby will do that is healthy that's insane that's insane but i am always proud of her i'm proud of you too wait speaking of sustainable do you guys want to hear something really random so oh my god please so these headphones that i'm using my desktop which is only a year old doesn't have a little like um like the jack for the headphones is old school it's like the it's like has like

the cylindrical hole thing. And so these are the headphones I got on the last, on my flight back from Kansas City. These were given to me and now I'm reusing them for this because my actual headphones couldn't plug in. I'm so sustained.

I just wanted you guys to like know that I'm bringing sustainability to the forefront. If you were really sustainable, you would have walked instead of flying. Yeah. But it's cool that you kept the headphones. If you were really sustainable, you would have walked to Kansas City. Instead of flying. Mm-hmm.

Yeah. But it's cool that you kept the headphones. Biked even. You could have biked. Do the small things. Scootered. But instead you chose. Scootered.

You flew, which is bad. But it's horrible. Manual scooter, not electric. But like baby steps. Like, you know, I'm starting small and then hopefully after I'm dead,

future generations will be better did me up and you flew economy i think so that was that was um you know that's hard i think that's good that's better probably yeah for the environment it felt really yeah yeah i don't know how but i think ruby what's next on your records yup shall. She'll be so true. She'll be so true about that. Well, okay. Some of them I feel like, I think I'll talk about my favorite and then if we have time, I'll get to like all of them. But I think my next one would be Mydol.

What's that? Interesting. I'm glad you asked. I'm glad you asked. What is that so my doll is a type of medicine that people with uteruses can take when they have their period and um and it makes it fun it makes it more fun yes it makes it it makes it really fun basically it's like helps with cramps but there's so many different it's a super drug bind into this it's insane and i didn't take it till a couple years ago because

it kind of scared me and it's over the counter you can just like pick it up anywhere but um it has like acetaminophen and and like like a ton of caffeine and some sort of like antihistamines and some sort of diuretic. So you got painkillers, energy, anti-inflammatories. Wow. And so then – It's kind of crazy. It's kind of like taking like – I'm going to take some.

Claritin and Adderall and Advil or something. Like it's just – it's kind of a little cocktail situation and it's changed my life. But it's also something that I like to take sometimes when I don't even have my period because it gives me a little pep in my step, you know. It's really easy to abuse my doll and I think it's really important what do you think about and I have my opinion the rebrand they did a few years back are we talking the actual rebrand

of how it looks or the way that they're I think they definitely are like trying to keep up with infographics it has that kind of like font that's like let's make something look fun They definitely are like trying to keep up with infographics. Right. It has that same that kind of like font that's like, let's make something look fun. That isn't right.

Like when there's like infographics and they're like, they're like trigger warning, like sexual assault. And it's like pink and like, well, and you're like, oh, you're clicking through. And then I think they're doing this where they're like, your body's falling out. Pink and yellow. I thought it was cool, though, that they started writing the letters in barbed wire font. I thought that was nice. A nice touch. They should have had fun. You know why they did?

They said, the patriarchy locks you down. We're here to free you. That's on the back of the box. Small font. You got to read it. But they do say something about that. They do? Yeah. small font you gotta read it but they do say something about that yeah they do yeah

i kind of think i would like to give you a might all and see what you think i want to know i would like to do i've offered caleb a might all before because one not only people with uteruses can take it and two like brooke our friend brooke takes it all the time no matter like what because when it – like if you're feeling kind of – Does Brooke have a uterus? You don't know exactly what. Yes. But she takes it when she's like –

Just chilling. Like, yeah, having pain in some other way and is like – Right. Whatever because all of the things combine. It's all the things. I was camping okay i used the term camping extremely loosely that just yeah like yeah i was like immediately i was like no you were not that means i slept somewhere that wasn't my own home yeah you were not in this bed so i was

camping i was sleeping in this like refurbished water tank in the desert with two of my girlfriends. And one of them got bit by a spider. And her foot was like swelling up. And we were all kind of like, like we were just in a different headspace. And it was hard to. They were talking about. Sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry. You were taking drugs. Well, so they were talking about, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry. You were taking drugs.

How come you were in a different headspace? They were on mushrooms and I was really drunk. And we were trying to figure out like what was up with her foot. Listeners, we as a podcast have to stop here. And we need to talk about the dangers of drugs. You shouldn't be doing mushrooms. And you shouldn't be drinking. And you shouldn't be sleeping.

I wasn't doing them. I'm terrified of hallucinations. We're not here to get you in trouble. We're talking to our listeners. We're not the police. We're talking to our listeners. Listeners, don't do it.

We were like all just like trying to navigate what to do. And I'm like, well, this podcast is sponsored by dare. This podcast is sponsored by the government. Um, this podcast is sponsored by the government um but i ended up giving her a my doll because it was all i had on me and we had like a i think we had a first aid kit but it was too it was like solution for a snake bite and gauze it's like those two things that are such extremes yeah

it was just more we're just giving it was more more. We were just giving out. It was just more mushrooms. You try to balance it out. I don't know. Do you want a little bit of cocaine? I don't know what will help you get back to more of a neutral. But we gave her the Midol, and it helped a little bit. That's all I have to say. It helped a little bit. Not enough. I can't believe that's the outcome.

It helped a little bit. You guys are like, this is a miracle drug. My friend got bit by a spider and it made a dent in her recovery. We were so high on mushrooms. Sorry, I don't mean to be the police, but literally there's no way for us to know how much it really helped because none of them are reliable narrators. They were all under the influence.

Yep. Okay, it's true. It's true. I would like to think that I was the most, like, just having had a lot of tequila put me in a place where I think I was a pretty good judge of what was going on. I have a question.

I have a question. Ruby, what's something so embarrassing in all of humanity that you would delete it from the records entirely? And before you answer... It doesn't have to be the big stuff like racism i wasn't oh yeah no i wasn't gonna even it doesn't have to be the big stuff my mind of course it didn't of course it didn't um no let me think um i think it would be the mile run in high school did you do the mile run my god here's what was especially here's what was especially sinister at my school was that we

didn't have we didn't have showers oh so it was like there it was just gross because you're being forced to sweat. And then they're like, now go to bio. And you're like, you, you know? And also what did anyone gain from doing the mile run? Like actually, what did that do to it?

All it did was embarrass the kids who were bad at running. Hello. Hello. Raise your hand. Thank you. And then the kids who were great, which were like we already knew who those kids were we're just like i'm done in seven minutes or six minutes whatever

and i'm like i'm not even gonna try i'm just gonna walk with my friends and get yelled at which is totally fine by me but like what what is this doing for anybody what do you what are you trying to prove it's i think it was only harmful my big fear we did have showers and there were rumors when i was growing up that when you got into high school gym, you had to shower with everybody. And I was terrified of that because I did not like my body yet. Now I know that my body is great, but then I did not know that. And I was so scared.

And also I was in the closet. So I was like, you're going to put me in a shower with a bunch of naked guys. I'm going to kill myself. That sounds like a dead giveaway. So that was my big fear is that we would have to shower did you think you were gonna get like aroused like i'm curious how 100 are you kidding but like seeing my crushes naked yeah i thought i would get a full-on hard-on in the shower with many people around is that like dog really dog dog dog are you kidding me when i was 16 I was getting hard ons Every single place I went Have you not seen

Have you met a 16 year old I feel like the fear Where they're all in the shower You're not getting aroused Watching all those dudes In the shower In Lil Nas X's music video I mean 100%

But like I feel like The fear of somebody Seeing me aroused You've never heard Of a fear boner If I had a penis Are those real It wouldn't have been out of fear

It would have been A normal boner You can get boners out of fear This one wouldn't have been that This one wouldn wouldn't have been out of fear. It would have been a normal boner. This one wouldn't have been that. This one wouldn't have been that. I was not scared. It would have been, I want to fuck 15 of these guys. I'm not saying that it would be that, but what I am saying is fear wouldn't be an equation to be like, you couldn't get a boner.

You're scared. No, it wouldn't stop me. You can have a fear boner. It wouldn't stop you. Okay. That's true. For me, one of the gross things my school did, when I was in middle school, they like raised money to build a pool.

So then when I was in high school, they had a pool. And you had to bring a bathing suit, something I always forgot. And they wouldn't let you just like not swim. You had to use one of the like. You had to go naked. No, you had to use one of the like. Yeah, you had to go naked. Lost and found bathing suits.

No. One of the grossest things in the world. No. And if you didn't, you would get knocked on your grade. So if I didn't do it enough times, I would fail gym, which is like, I'm not going to fail gym. And then worse was that when you got detention at my school, you had to do labor. You didn't just do homework in a room. You got assigned to a department and you had to do work for them.

To build iPhones or something. Yeah, you had to make license plates i was making i was personally doing uh nike shoes but i know i um you would get this so like for me i my first attention i got sent to pool and they made me one do the laundry of the bathing suits, and two, clean the filters. Because you knew that they were being laundered. At least you know the bathing suits are clean. By me. I didn't know how well they were being cleaned. They were being cleaned by the people who are actively not doing the right things every day. But are they in a washing machine?

Or are you, like, by hand scrubbing out the crotch of under – Some of them. But then, like, some bathing suits are not – you had to do it it like in a thing. It was so gross. And the only reason I got out of doing them was because I stepped on a hair clip during detention when I was cleaning the filters and I had to go to the ER. Oh, my God. You got like punctured that deeply? I went all the way up. A piece of metal went all the way up my foot. But they were afraid of me getting tetanus.

So I had to go to the ER and they took all my detentions away for the semester. The school was like saving their ass. They're like, don't sue us. Don't do anything. Can you sue us? Well, I don't know, but yes, you can. And obviously I went back to detention. Like I was always getting detention. And so when I finally got back into detention, they were like, she'll never get pool again. And so then I got put in the admissions office where all I had to do was stuff envelopes, which was also kind of a devastating turn to find out that because I was doing pool every detention that someone else, while I was cleaning the filters, was just stuffing envelopes. They were doing office. One of the most devastating reveals was like I had done lunchroom and pool up to that point where I was

cleaning people's nasty ass plates and scrubbing the filters and other people were like she wears short skirts I wear t-shirts she's cleaning pool and I feel like okay I feel like school there's there has to be some sort of like boundaries and lines that were crossed that we when I look back like that to me seems like that should be illegal like you can't do labor at your school that just feels like no you go to learn if you don't learn you get yelled at and then that's it like to make you do stuff is weird to me what's even weirder is if you got in even more trouble you got Saturday detentions and in Saturday detentions you just sat and did homework I was like so I gotta get in more trouble to avoid doing Saturday detentions. And in Saturday detentions, you just sat and did homework. I was like, so I got to get in more trouble to avoid doing the bad stuff, like the hard stuff, and instead I can just do homework, something I don't typically do, so it's sort

of helped my grades and be kind of a boon for me. Wow. That's really nuts. I'm surprised you didn't get Saturday school, Shelby. I didn't. You don't think I got Saturday detention? Oh. Oh, I thought you just said that you didn't.

No, I said then I had to get in more trouble to go to that. And you did. You made sure to get in bigger trouble. Luckily, my sister had a friend that also always had Saturday attention, so she would drive me. That's so nice. Ruby. I think

we maybe have time to hear in depth about one more of your record picks. What do you want to tell us about? Ooh. Okay. Okay. I will tell you about. She's running out of time.

I'm like, wait, I don't know what she wants to do. Like, I mean, okay. We'll talk about the others, just not in depth. Well, no, no, no. I think all of ABBA's music. I was hoping this would be the one. Wow. Which is really like maybe crazy to say,

but I just think disco music and like what came from that is, there's nothing better. And like, before we even get into it, like I don't know enough about ABBA's history and them, what came from that is there's nothing better. And like, before we even get into it, like, I don't know enough about ABBA's history and them, like what it was like for them in Sweden, like making this music. I don't know.

All I did was when I hear it, I'm like, this is the best music ever made. And I just think. What is your favorite ABBA song? Um, okay. I have...

If I open up my most played songs... Let's see. I would say... Which ones do I listen to the most? Now, while Ruby's looking that up, just so our listeners know, Abba is a Swedish band that got their start in the 1600s. And they made music from about 1675 to 1713. And they became a lot more popular in the 1900s.

This is not what I expected. Okay. And they were Satanists. Ruby? Yes, they were. That's how I actually got introduced into Satanic Rituals was through their music which was like really beautiful and profound for me um so lay all your love on me is actually my most played which I am kind of surprised about it is one of my favorites but um my love my life I think is their most beautiful song and then also um cheeky tita is really beautiful and actually it's funny

because that song kind of had like a resurgence on tiktok i think because the ending kid started like making um dances videos or something dances to the end of that song but um yeah those are like my top three i don't really care as much about like um like super trooper and you know dancing Queen and all of that, although they're really good, I, I prefer, yeah, Lay All Your Love On Me is, is a really good one. Can you give us a little bit of that, Ruby? Can you, can you give us a little bit? Um, I actually can't legally. They'll sue me if I sing.

No, we're commenting on it. We're out legally. It's super crazy. You're canceled. You're canceled. I was going to plan this whole thing um and i my managers contacted them and they were like if she sings because i'm so good they were afraid that it would like it would do something crazy to their whole branding and all of it and they said

they said they were shut it down they were sorry i just make sure i'm getting this right the legal reason that you can't sing a little bit of that song right now is that abba was worried that you doing the song on the podcast would and i just want to make sure i'm getting this right do something crazy to their brand correct okay i just wanted to make sure i was getting that correct okay okay that it would like fuck up what they had going on well i think legally you said it was do something crazy to their brand. Correct. Okay. Correct. Okay.

Just wanted to be sure. Yeah. Thank you for clarifying that. That was a legal jargon. And there were lawyers involved in that. Okay. Yeah. Many.

Awesome. A lot of lawyers. Yeah. Awesome. Well, I think this has been a pretty strange end to the episode and I want to thank you regardless for your time and your energy. I love you so much, guys. Thank you so much for having me.

Yeah, I'm a really big fan of you guys. Oh, my God. Like a huge fan. Shelby. Shelby, do you hear that? Sweet. And honestly, I just, I feel really blessed. And I just want to thank you and I want to thank God and I want to thank

God. Like everybody. God is not involved. Why are you hanging him in there? What? He's everywhere. Why is God involved? He's in all things.

Oh, I'd never thought about it that way. No one's ever said that to me before. Yeah. Fuck. It's really, I think I'm going to start leaving situations being like, I just want to like thank you

and I want to thank God for this. Like if I leave a date like that, thank situations being like, I just want to like, thank you. And I want to thank God for this. Like if I leave a date like that, thank you so much. And I just want to thank. Ruby, where can people find you? In my house. All right. Goodbye. Goodbye.

Goodbye. Goodbye. End of episode. Bye. Love you. Bye. Love you. Bye. That was a Hiddem Original.