Keeping Records - Vermonster (with Allison Raskin)

Episode Date: October 14, 2022

Shelby gets a little philosophical. Allison helps us get a little introspective. And EJ has chapped lips.  Allison Raskin (writer/director/comedian/YouTuber/podcaster/mental health advocate!!!) is here for some high brow, some low brow, some pure comedy gold. And the artifacts? Ohhhh these artifacts. You don't see artifacts like these every day. There's music and movies and food and warm feelings, which (we hope) are all the aliens' favorite things (fingers crossed). Also, our source at NASA has all but confirmed that this record manifested the Blink-182 reunion tour announced this week, so if you're 28-38 years old..... you're welcome, from all of us here at Keeping Records/NASA :-) Allison's Artifacts:  Get Over It (2001 Film) Blink-182's Enema of the State (1999 Music Album) Allison's Childhood Stuffed Animal BobFred (Ephemera) Ben & Jerry's Ice Cream in the Flavor Coffee Coffee BuzzBuzzBuzz! (Food) The Feeling Of Someone You Love Wrapping a Dry Towel Around You When You Get Out Of a Pool (Feeling) Follow Allison on Instagram and Twitter. Watch the video version of the episode Follow the show @keepingrecordspod Advertise on Keeping Records via Gumball.fm See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This is a HeadGum Original. In 1977, NASA sent two solid gold records into space so that aliens might find them and understand life on Earth. I send greetings on behalf of the people of our planet. And friendly wishes to all who may encounter this voyager. Now, we're making new records with our friends. Hello everyone! Hello!

Hello and greetings to everyone! Peace be upon you! We step out of our solar system into the universe seeking only peace and friendship. We know full well that our planet and all its inhabitants are but a small part of this immense universe that surrounds us. Hello from the children of planet Earth. Wow. Wow. Wow.

Wow. EJ yeah what's up Shelby what's up with you no no seriously

don't do that no seriously what's new what is new like I don't know like things are just like going on

no I hear you literally yeah literally um like things are just like going on. No, I hear you. Literally. Yeah. Literally. Mm-hmm. Um, I actually don't know

if anything, it started, I'm gonna go to an apple orchard this weekend, I think. Whoa. That's awesome. And I think I'm gonna play

pickleball too. Ah. Autumn is here. Autumn is here. I'm gonna play pickleball and then pick some apple, pickleball, pick some apples. Pick, pick, here. I'm going to play pickleball and then pick some apples. Pickleball, pick some apples.

Pick, pick, pick. I'm picking. Dude. Say what you will, but mama picking. Yeah, say what you will. But mama's picking. Yum. Sorry.

Sorry. Sorry. What's going on with you? Oh, man. Not much. God, the listeners are like, okay. The listeners are listening just being like, Jesus Christ, these two need mental health. Okay, peek behind the curtain. Yeah. We just recorded two episodes back to back. And so we're, you know, we've caught up.

Right. Yeah, there's not much else to say. We've been talking for four hours. I don't know if you've ever had lunch with a friend. Around hour two, you stop having to stop to say. No matter how close you are. And that's when you start to overshare. Because you're like, well, I guess I can tell you about a bad relationship I have with my grandma. Like, I don't know.

Like, where do you go from there? That is... A bad relationship I have with my grandma? I can't. About her. She's living. Yeah. Does she listen to the podcast?

It doesn't matter. Okay. It's like a karma thing or like a – Just a fear thing. No, I totally get that. I'm afraid to talk about like so many people on this podcast. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. I've got beef with a lot of people. I'm a bad guy. Yeah. And our guest is Billie Eilish. Today's guest is Billie Eilish. I do have a question. Have you seen the show?

It's not on anymore, Raising Hope. I have watched it. And you did not like it? It was one of those things where my parents were like, the show's really good. And I watched the beginning of the pilot and then I was like, you guys have fun with this one. Your parents were right. Okay. So I finished Baby Daddy.

Okay. And now I'm watching Raising Hope. And what I've decided is it is. Well, yes. I think it is. I think it's like, okay you watch community no okay so i think this is middle america community okay in that it's not the same premise at all but what community did which was like just decide that there were some episodes that would be like

weirdly genre like they'd be like okay we're doing sci-fi today. Raising Hope will do that. And they're a little bit self-referential. And is it a, like, high, like, intellectual? No. But it's just a family that loves each other

in a wacky situation. What more could you ask for? It's off the air, and I don't think all of it holds up. Like, I think there's stuff that certainly doesn't, but overall,

I have watched it and said, huh, not bad. Cool. We're all raising hope together. Oh, it takes a village. And in this show, they'll really teach you that. I love that, when it takes a village. Here's a question for you. Yeah.

When you – when your lips are a little chapped, they have been this whole time. Is that why you were talking about this? No. Mine have too. Okay. Glad – this is the first time we've talked about this. Okay. New subject alert.

Okay. Turns out – It turns out – Four and a half hours in, you can actually change the topic by saying, hey, is there something about your body that's making you feel uncomfortable right now? Because chances are, I have the same situation. Thanks for listening to our podcast about how to talk to people. Welcome back to

Hanging Out with EJ and Shelby, where we talk about how to hang out. It's not as easy as you think it might be. You're hanging out and think, what do I do? Well, we've got the podcast for you. We're telling you. It's easy.

So nice. So, your lips are chapped, right? Yeah, exactly. Okay, picture this. Oh, you're looking all over. You're looking all over. You don't have any chapstick. Do you think it's weird or normal or somewhere in between to use a little bit

of body lotion and rub it all over your lips? I've done it. Okay. I've done it. I do it all the time. Yeah. Here's the thing. I don't recommend it.

It tastes like shit. It's horrible. Really bad. It's the last resort. But I'm like, I don't know. This is skin at the end of the day. It's skin and it needs moisture. I'm like, that don't know, this is skin at the end of the day. It's skin and it needs moisture. I'm like, that's what it's for.

What I want to do, what I want to say about the city of Los Angeles is I want to live in a city where if I leave chapstick in my car to be used at another time, I don't want it to be melted. I want to be able to use chapstick I leave in my car. Because I like to have it in my car. When I'm on the go, I got a chap. But I never can. It's always fully liquid. Melty, melty, melty. Disgusting.

If it's a tubular situation, it ends up in the cap. Yeah. And then you have to do a little – Then you're doing a pinky situation. Yeah. Rubbing it like that. Yeah. Which is grosser than lotioning.

And if you're in a tin, that whole thing is liquid. It's melting out of the little seams. It's disgusting. It's really gross. I've tried with the Squeezy Carmex. That's fine if it's cold, but when it's hot, it's liquid. It's all over your face. You put it on your lips, you get so much. I had to rub some on a towel today that I had in my car.

So my comments on ChapStick are,. That I had in my car. Yeah. So my comments on Chapstick are, yes, you can use lotion sometimes. It's not preferable. Not a first choice, yeah. But if it's in a pinch, get it on. You got to get the moisture somehow. Sure.

And if you're in LA, you need to put an ice box in your car for Chappie. Okay. Cool. Noted. When I get a car, I'm going to remember that. Yeah. I forgot that you don't have a car. So if you're walking, it's probably

heating up pretty quick in your pocket. When you're walking, everything's heating up. I gotta get a car for you, baby. Was that good? Oh, yeah. It was like, wow. That was my Nick Jonas impression. Yeah.

Wow. Wow. On TikTok, people are telling you. TikTok thinks I'm a fan of. What's the guy from Austin and Ally? Blonde boy. They won't stop showing me him. Who the?

What? Who's Austin and Ally? Do you know who I'm talking about? guy from austin and ally blonde boy they won't stop showing me him who's what who's austin and ally he's a blonde disney star me too and i keep getting shown him tiktok thinks i'm one of swifty i all my respect to her but i'm not a swifty i am i'm not a hater but i'm not like i don't know a swifty i don't i've not listened to all of her albums all the way through. Like, I don't – no, I don't. You should try it. I don't think I will. What's his name? Shelby, who is that?

Ross Lynch. Ross Lynch won't stop showing up dancing on my freaking TikTok. Get him out of here. I don't know him. I'm not a fan of him. I never watched him on Disney Channel. I hope he has a happy life. Oh, he's a Disney star.

Yeah, he was on Austin and Ally, I think. You keep saying Austin and Ally. I don't know what that means. That's a show. It's a show. Do you watch Disney? Not anymore. But I had a good time with it when I was young.

But I keep getting Harry Styles content, which whatever. Whatever. Literally whatever. Literally. And then Taylor Swift conspiracy theories, which I'm not invested enough to be a part of. Yeah. Ross Lynch dancing at his concerts to Michael Jackson, which I'm like, that is a whole mess. Yeah.

And then I'm like, and then now recently a bunch of people are posting the same video of Joe Jonas singing on some late night show being like, Joe Jonas is the only one who worked while this band was broken up. Oh, my God. Because he did a riff that people thought was really magnificent. What is going on? Why is that happening to me? Somebody help Shelby. You got to be active with the algorithm, man. No, the algorithm isn't on my side.

I like to have fun learning. I don't even know what to say to that. I did get really invested. I know we've talked about lobster track before. It's getting better. Okay. All right. Well, wait, for real. Wait, shout out to my guy. I don't even really know his name, but he's a sweetie, lobster guy. And main lobsters are getting red listed. Uh-oh. And there's no evidence for it. So speak out or whatever.

Go to his page. Speak out or whatever. Go to his page. Hashtag lobster talk. Go to his page. He's talking about it. It sucks. They're making it really hard for these guys to get their lobsters. Thank you for bringing that up, Shelby.

It's always good to hear you talk about something that you're really passionate about. I'm bummed. These guys just love lobsters so much. He doesn't even eat them. He's like, I'm sick of it. He's just there for the love of the game. Yeah, but he's like a fourth generation lobster fisherman. Sometimes he picks a lobster up that's like 150 years old

and he's like, my great-grandfather might have picked up the same lobster. Oh, that's beautiful. And it's really gorgeous. That's really beautiful. Anya's laughing, but it's beautiful. It's really tender. He's like, there's a chance. There's a chance. And I go, my oh my. This guy's connecting to his family generations

to generations Oh my You're offended No You're giving a lot of credence to You have to see this guy He's really sweetie pie He's saving birds Birds can't land on the water

Certain birds can't land on the water So he puts them on the boat and brings them to land. He's a sweetie pie. He's a total sweetie pie. When he has to throw the lobsters back because they're not the right size or they're breeders, you can't keep breeding lobsters. They have to go back so that they can make more lobsters. He gives them a little snack to go back to the water.

He's an angel. I love him. I love you, King. Anyway, today's guest has nothing to do with lobsters. What if it was him? That would be crazy. What a lead up. What?

We'll get him. Yeah, we can get him. I don't know what we would talk about besides lobsters. I'm sure he's got other stuff going on. today's guest is a writer a podcaster a mental health advocate you know her from her podcast just between us right when you said it i was like you gave me a look that felt wrong you know know her from her podcast, Just Between Us, and her recent book, Overthinking About You. You know her.

You love her. It's Alison Raskin. Yes, the clock has started. Good. Good. I really didn't like that. What, what I did? Yes.

Why? It was so yucky. Look. Shit. Shit. Allison, welcome. Welcome aboard. Sorry, I really hate that voice.

I think because I saw, wait, this has to not be a part of this. Do you watch scary movies? No. Me either. But I watched Barbarian by recommendation of that man. The worst thing is I haven't been able to sleep in a week. Casey. I got bugged.

Why would you tell Shelby to watch that? Yes, there were moments of humor. It was terribly terrifying. So when you did that little voice, I think there was just a part of me that said. You were triggered. No, no, no, no, no. Yeah. I was taken to a place I didn't want to go.

I'm sorry. At the movies. At the movies. At the movies. How come that one time you, Rose Casey, would have to cut it, but me every time? Why do we have to cut it? No, I think we should keep that in. We should keep it in. I said to cut it?

Yeah, you did. Oh, my God. Shelby just... Are you okay? Just now? You were like, we have to cut this, but... Yeah. Okay, well, we're going to keep it in, I guess.

This is all staying in. Yeah, this is perfect. Okay, well, hi. Sorry, Allison. I know. Sorry, Allison. I think that's why I wanted to cut it, was because I really just had to yell at Casey,

because he ruined my life a little. Yeah. I'm not a scary movie person. You're not a scary movie person? No, no. Ever? I don't enjoy being afraid. Thank you. a little. Yeah. I'm not a scary movie person. You're not a scary movie person? No, no. Ever? I don't enjoy being afraid. Thank you.

Me either. Yeah. Have you seen any in your life? Yes. Which ones have stuck with you? This is the podcast. What have I seen? Well, I will say as a child I was very afraid of E.T., but looking back, that wasn't a

scary movie. I think you were right to be afraid, though. Yeah, that's valid. Well, I like to see when it's like a genre bending. So I'll see like a Get Out. I'll see a Cabin in the Woods. I'll see a comedic horror. But a big problem for me is that I'm a screamer. Uh-huh.

Totally. I have like a really heightened startle response. Okay. So if anything happens, I can't see these movies in a theater. Uh-huh. Because I'll ruin it for people. Has that happened? Have you screamed?

EJ screams in the Minions. I would be yelling in the Minions. I'll scream if anything startles me, intentionally or otherwise. Okay. So my boyfriend will just be in his own home and I'll scream. Yeah. Because I didn't know he was where he was. Understand.

Yeah. Yeah. Easily startled. Okay. Well, a lot of the time, if someone makes me watch a scary movie with them for some reason, they're like, we have to. No, you say no. Usually.

I used to write with my friend Gabby. Oh, my God. I'm talking about her so much today. Gabby. I used to write with my friend Gabby. And she really wanted to do something that referenced The Shining. And I said I'd never seen it. And she made me watch it.

And I had a caveat, which was that I got to press mute whenever I wanted. Oh, yeah. That is. How often did you press it? A whole movie. Silent film. It's really gorgeous when it's quiet. It is... Because then I don't have to be worried about something jumping out.

When something jumps out on the screen with no sound, it is as if it never happened. It loses its magic. It really does not affect me at all. Something can pop up and I might go, but that's as bad as it gets. Yeah, yeah. So that's my trick to you. If you ever have to, control that mute button.

Well, you know what movie I did see because my friends were over and I think I went to walk the dog and they put it on while I was gone? Rude. Was that movie The Boy? Oh, which one is that one? It's a movie about a babysitter who comes to care for these people's son, but it's just a doll.

And she has to act like it's real. But what we realized was I look like the boy. And so I would start to kind of do the boy face to really creep people out. Can you give us an example of the boy face? I never got to really see it.

But I think it was sort of like. Yeah, that's. And so then it was like, yes, over there, like I'm sort of the boy. Oh, my. So the premise of this movie, this movie is more the parents are scary than the boy is scary? I can't tell you what happens. Okay. Because they're twists and turns.

Sometimes it would be nice, Casey, if someone could tell you what happens, Casey, because then you don't go to the movies, Casey, and have a bad time. Right. And then maybe EJ can do a voice and you aren't sent into a freaking whirlwind over it. Because EJ's just having some fun. EJ's just trying to play around in the studio. Anyways. I really upset EJ today. It's fine.

Are you a movie person in general? Do you like going to the movies? I do, yeah. EJ loves that, too. I love going to movies. Oh, we have so much. Wait, this is really crazy. Okay. Yeah, I love going to movies. Oh, we have so much. This is really crazy. Yeah, I love the movies.

I also vocally emit in the movies. I love to chat through a movie and people don't like that. I also like to chat through a movie which is why I don't like going to the movies. But in the theater, if you create an environment in which it's a talk back, it's a call and

response, people will join in with you. This is what I found. Well, it depends. Yeah. I feel like some people might get really upset. It depends on the crowd. Kids' movies, usually they'll handle it better. And the ticket price.

What I've realized is I do this thing where, okay, this is going to take a while to explain, but we'll get through it. That's okay. We've got plenty of time. So I don't know what good singing is because I can't recognize if somebody is singing well or not singing well. And so a lot of times we'll be watching a movie. We'll be out more. There'll be a song in the movie where the character is singing, but I don't know if they're doing a good job or not.

So you have to ask the people around you. And so I have to ask Muslim Voivre, and I have to go, is that good singing? And he didn't understand why I kept asking that. But it was because I felt like it was important to understand what was going on in the film. Right, like the singing. If the singing was good or bad

would actually change the plot. It's a plot. It's a plot point. Absolutely. And I can't identify that for myself. And so I have to say, is that good singing? Right. If she couldn't sing in Coyote Ugly, it would have changed the whole film.

Right. Totally. Totally. But I think he thought I was just continuously roasting whoever was singing on screen. He's like, it's not funny. Is that good? Yeah. Couldn't they have gotten a better singer out there?

Yeah. So I need somebody to always tell me about that. Well, and that any good? Couldn't they have gotten a better singer out there? So I need somebody to always tell me about that. Well, and that's his job. No offense. As your boyfriend, I feel that's his job. Thank you. Yeah. And I also want to know, sometimes you don't know if you're supposed to understand what's happening or not.

Yes. Am I confused because I, Allison, have missed something? Am I meant to be left out of this? Or am I meant to be confused? Am I meant to be left out and to find out later? Right. Or do other people understand this? And so I need that clarification as well. Yeah. Because I want to be understanding the movie as it's meant to be understood.

I like to figure out the movie, like, what's going to happen at the start. And I like to have someone to say you were right or wrong. Uh-huh, that's important. And my girlfriend won't ever let me run it by her because she says I I ruined it for her. So we should watch films together.

Feels like you guys are really compatible in that regard. Because I like to be like I think that like this is like I think this guy is this. Yeah.

And then she'll be like like as if I like have seen it already and I'm giving it away. And I'm like, it's literally no spoilers. I don't know how this ends. But she considers it always to be a spoiler. I don't think you guys will work out. Just kidding. Lindsay.

Lindsay. Uh-oh. I'm coming over, baby. We gotta have a talk. Well, now that we got that out of the way. Yeah, I feel better. Yeah, I can feel it on you. You're relieved.

Allison, how has your week been? Yeah, what's up? It's Monday. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. That's so good. Oh, God. Oh, no. I thought it was like Thursday. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. That's so weird. Oh, God. It's sick.

Oh, no. I thought it was like Thursday. Oh, at least. What counts as my week just from this morning? It can be whatever you want it to be. How's your week so far? This morning's been okay. You can say your week started on Sunday.

I hate that, but you can. Well, to be honest, guys, I'm kind of in a shitty time because I'm just like I'm on a book deadline and I'm in graduate school and it's like a real disaster. I'm not having a good time. That's amazing. It sounds like a lot to have. Yeah. Day to day, it's not great. Grad school is so fascinating to me.

Don't do it. Okay. I couldn't. No one would to me. Don't do it. Okay. I couldn't. No one would accept me. I was so bad at school all the way through that the idea of applying to grad school and being like, no, no, no, take a chance. They'll take you because they want your money.

Yeah. It took like two weeks to get into my grad program. They were like, oh, you can pay? Okay, yes. Please come join us. There wasn't even an interview. What if I want financial aid and I don't have enough to back up that I would be a good applicant? Well, they'll take the financial aid because that's them still getting paid.

Shelby, you can go to grad school. I'm going to grad school. I have no interests, but I'm going to find one. I think you could find something really cool there. I don't have an interest. I don't really like learning that's not true i love to learn you're always learning fun ways yeah i like short-form learning well the whole thing is that like i like my so i'm getting a degree in psychology because i um i write a lot in the mental health field and i just like want to know what i'm talking about more than just like – and this is how I experience anxiety.

But so like my grades literally do not matter. Like I'm not going to apply. Yeah, like I'm just like giving myself some extra credibility, like getting that master's, whatever. But like it's so hard to like not – like how do you act like a B student? Do you know what I mean? Like I don't know how to like – I only know hard to, like, not, like, how do you act like a B student? Do you know what I mean? Like, I don't know how to, like. I only know how to act like a D student. So every semester I'm, like, I'm not going to care.

Like, I'm just going to do the bare minimum. And then I'm, like, now I'm in this, like, vicious, like, mental war with one of my professors that he doesn't know about. Or I'm, like, very angry with him all the time and he has no idea. But I also am trying. I'm mad that he is ruling the classroom with an iron fist. I would be mad too. That's annoying. And I'm furious about it.

Yeah. I like that about him. Well, do you? Shelby. No, it's like one of my favorite things about him. That's so messed up. No, I hate that. Nobody my favorite things about him. That's so messed up. No, I hate that. Nobody should have an iron fist.

No. Your fist should be soft and spongy. Well, it should just be like warm clapping. I almost said something so stupid. What was it? If you have an iron fist. You know when people say that you can test how done a steak is by... How what?

Oh, done a steak is. By pressing here. I was like, if you have an iron fist, how are you going to know your steak's done? But that's so stupid. Casey liked it. I guess you guys are back on good terms. No, he's trying to win me back over. This is a pity laugh.

I know one when I hear one. Yeah. But I was like nobody should have an iron fist. You wouldn't know when your steak's done. Food poisoning. You're vegetarian. I'm not. I'm not the problem. That's not your story to tell. Really messed up.

Second of all. Okay, so he's ruling the classroom with an iron fist. Okay. Yeah. How so? It's like if you turn in your assignment one minute late, you get half a grade deducted. Half a grade deducted? He's on a power trip. He's on a power trip. Stupid.

And I get so riled up about the fact that he's on a power trip that now I'm on a power trip trying to defeat him. Yep. It's really a healthy cycle that's happening. What are your plans to defeat him? How are you going to defeat him? Thank you. I guess, well, I don't have one. I guess, well, my plan was to not care, but then I've been caring.

So it's a real vicious cycle. He's living rent-free in your mind. He's turning in all your assignments like three hours early. Yeah. You're like, yeah, you're not going to pull one over on me. I don't think he knows my name. How many people are in the class? Not that many.

I'm sure he knows your name. Come on. No, he doesn't. It's on the papers. He doesn't know because he also does that. Like, okay, this is terrible. I hope this man doesn't listen to this. He probably does.

I've been keeping this to myself. You do a lot of professors. I've been keeping this to myself. Specifically in the lot of professors. I've been keeping this to myself. Specifically in the psychology field. Because I have so many thoughts about it. But so like he does, he's like a caricature of a professor where it's like as if he had like,

he'll do that thing where he'll be like, Ashley, answer this question. It's as if we're like in high school and like he'll just like call on people without that like who I've never experienced this as a graduate student. He also just like if you turn in your midterm or

final one minute late you fail. Stupid. That's just stupid to me. It's just so antithetical to the philosophy of a psychology program. Do you think that at the end of the term? People are suffering. Let them be late.. Do you think that at the end of the term – People are suffering. Let them be late.

Yeah. Do you think at the end of the term he's going to be like, this was all – that was my goal all along was to make you think about that? To make you suffer? To be like, someone should have said something. So it's a social experiment. He's doing a bunch of reverse psychology to be like, this was my plan all along. I'll report back, but I don't think so. Yeah.

If people are dropping me. You have so much faith in this guy. I don't have faith. I want him to have a plan. I don't think he does. But I want him to. So you're an optimist. Glass half full.

Just kidding. The glass has water in it. That's all I know. Wow. Write that down. That was really good. The glass has water in it. How much?

That's not for me to decide. No, it's not a judgment you can make. Allison, we have a question for you. Yeah. EJ? If you were going to send something up to the aliens to tell them about life on Earth, represent humanity, whichever way you want to shake it,

what's the first thing you would send to them? I would send the hit film, Get Over It. And when I saw this on your list, I want you to know that it filled me with such true, unadulterated joy. Have you seen it? Yeah. It's the greatest film of our time.

It's really, really, really good. It's so good, and nobody has seen it. Nobody's seen it. I watched it a lot growing up. All the time growing up. You guys are twins, first of all. Wow. It shaped my comedic voice more than anything else I've ever seen.

Yes. It's Martin Short plays this theater teacher, and everything about that character is what I now find to be funny in the world. Also, Vitamin C has like a whole – Oh, yeah. Vitamin C has a musical number. Like a genuine five-minute musical number. Yes. Yeah. It's incredible. What? It's a rom-com, a teenage rom-com starring – get ready for this cast, Ben Foster, Kirsten Dunst.

What? Mila Kunis. What? Colin Hanks. Sisko. Martin Short. Unbelievable. Wait, isn't there one other guy that was, am I thinking of?

Oh, Shane West. That's who I was thinking of. I was like, no, we had one other guy who was really big for a year. Zoe Saldana's in it as well. What? It is the greatest film ever made. And the movie is about doing a play, and then they basically do the play in real life, too. Yes.

So it's about, they're putting on a Midsummer Night's Dream. Love. But then, actually, and that's something I didn't put together until right now, but also the main plot is similar to this one. Hey, when you see something about 16 times in a three-month period, it starts to— I know every word to that movie. I could watch it with you. And there's musical numbers throughout. I know all the songs as well.

Yeah. What? You guys, get up. Show me. It was that movie and there was another movie with Jennifer Love Hewitt that came out around the same time.

Some guy's like pining after her. He writes her a letter. It gets lost. Can't hardly wait. Can't hardly wait. Those two movies were in cycle for me.

I was like, well, with Coyote Ugly and Blue Crush, those four movies, if you wanted me to cool down, like you wanted me

to hang out. I was really, I had ADHD from birth. My parents wanted me to like focus. Yeah. Those were the movies. Get over it. Blue Crush, Coyote Ugly, I can't hardly wait. Those are good ones.

I just have to say, if Caleb was here, he would bring up the fact that he can't believe how long it took you to come out. Well, that's what he always says. Yeah. Yeah, it took me a while to understand that some of my interest in these films was gay stuff. Yeah. But in Get Over It, well, maybe I liked the main girl. But I think mostly was that it's a perfect film. It's a perfect film.

Beginning to end. Everything you want to have perfect film. It's a perfect film. Beginning to end. Everything you want to have happen happens is filled with joy, and the jokes are so funny. Like, all the jokes are so... And my name is Allison, and the original... The original name of the movie

was supposed to be Getting Over Allison. But instead it was Getting over it. Dehumanizing. Well, I became an it, but, you know, we're all an it to someone. Wow, that is true. What I sang is a song from the film. Okay.

I could do a whole. Okay. I'll do a little bit. We'll let you know if it's good or bad. No, I won't whole. Okay. Should I? I'll do a little bit. We'll let you know if it's good or bad. No, I won't know. I won't know. Okay. Okay.

So it'll be like, and I'm so deep. I'm not a good singer. I know that at least. But it's like, did you ever read a Shakespeare play? I would never understand a word they say. Well, tonight we're going to make things clear. Because Shakespeare's dead, but we're all here. William Shakespeare wrote a play a long, long time ago about this chick named Hermia.

And the two guys who loved her so long said,epharmia please be my girl, but you only wanted one and the night the fairies came to play that's the night we had our fun and you've never seen this I've never seen it, mistake okay, I'm gonna watch it tonight you can't find it anywhere

you gotta get the DVD. It's one of those movies where I have in my life been like, it's like a Shazam type of movie where you're like, did I make that up? Yeah. I'm like, no, I remember it vividly. Yeah, I know every word. Come on, Netflix. Get it. Maybe people can start requesting.

Get over it. If you guys haven't seen it and you want to, write to your favorite streaming platform. Pick your poison. It's on what? It seems to be on some of them. It says it's on Pluto, Paramount Plus, YouTube.

Maybe that happened recently. Okay, great. That's huge for me. Who has Pluto? What is Pluto? Anya just made that up. I don't know. Okay, great. That's huge for me. But who has Pluto? First of all, Pluto. That's a – Anya just made that up. I don't know. Pluto's great. You got to get Pluto. What is Pluto?

Is this an ad for Pluto now? No freak lab for the girlies. Do not get Pluto. Don't get Pluto, you guys. We haven't tried it. We can't vouch for it. If they buy from us an ad, you can get Pluto. Pluto.

Seriously. Hit us up. I was only just so that no one was screaming at their you know no I hope it's available because it's so deeply

I'm gonna watch it tonight deeply funny I literally am gonna watch it tonight it's a really good movie it's a really good movie and you do love and hate the main girl that was my experience

well that's at least Keita loving the movie well no because well who do you consider the main girl Redhead no Kirsten Dunst consider the main girl? Redhead. No, Kirsten Dunst is the main girl. No, I didn't like her enough.

Okay, well, that was your personal experience, but Kirsten Dunst is definitely the lead of that film. No, she is, but the attention is often on pining after Allison. Allison, who's the redhead. Who I don't think has been in anything since. No. I don't know if she was even really good in it, but I— You were fixated on her for some reason?

She was beautiful. So for some reason she sort of captivated your attention. Right. Again, Caleb would have something to say. Caleb would have a lot to say. Okay. Yeah. So I—what do you think?

First of all, I think this is an interesting addition because it does teach Shakespeare without making them watch Shakespeare. And it teaches comedy. Like, I would be like, this is what we as humans find funny. And that's key. At least for me. I would hope that the aliens have some sort of sense of humor. Yeah. Or at least an understanding that we do.

It's going to be such a bummer if they don't. At least they understand. At least they could go to a Yeah. Or at least an understanding that we do. It's going to be such a bummer if they don't. At least they understand. At least they could go to a comedy show and at least be laughing. Or be like, I see these humans seem to enjoy this.

Even if we don't. I don't understand it yet, but good on them. Yeah. But I feel like that's the greatest performance of Martin Short's career. Wow.

And it's really hard to not find it funny. He's so funny. He's it funny. He's so funny. He's so funny. I think, okay, one, Shakespeare's supposed to be like one of the great, if not the greatest of all time playwrights, they say. So it's, I don't know. I'm not like a big Shakespeare head. I understand that he's got the talent.

He's currently living as the talent. But I do think it's important that they see it. But I'm like, I don't want to, one, pick a Shakespeare play for them to see. I don't want to have to pick one. Two, it's like they're really just going to be starting to grasp our language. And I don't want them to have to figure out. Right. To watch a Shakespeare play

would be like, whoa, this is not how we thought they spoke. Yeah, because we don't want them speaking like that. But they get it. And they get sort of like, again, they mirror the play in real life in the movie. And so you can also see like the human's habit of like readapting

the same stories over and over again. And that's a rich storytelling tradition on Earth. I think it's a habit of like readapting the same stories over and over again. And that's a rich storytelling tradition on earth. I think it's a great addition. But I'm also a huge fan of the film. I mean, I haven't seen the film and I, based on what you guys are saying, I think it should be on there. I saw this on your list and I said. No one ever talks about this movie. Nobody.

Nobody's talking about it. Yeah. But then when you meet somebody who's seen it, it's like you have an understanding. I'm not that anyone that doesn't like it. Everyone loves the film. If you've seen it, you're like, to know it is to love it. Okay. Yeah.

Please get back to me as soon as you watch it. I will shoot you a little email. Say, hey, I hated it. Oh, God, what if I did? Then you keep your freaking mouth shut. Don't tell me. I don't want to know. You're right. Then you keep that to yourself. Okay.

Okay. Also, for me, all my favorite movies have a musical number. Yeah. And so, I think it's also showing that we can kind of break genre. You know, like we can throw a musical number into a film. Do you worry that aliens will expect us to break into song? Like they'll be like, that's how we are.

I mean, do we not? Yeah, we do sometimes. I sing quite a lot. I just sung a minute ago. You sing all the time, Shelby. Okay. I was just wondering. Again, glass just has water in it. You sing all the time, Shelby. Okay. I was just wondering. Again, glass just has water in it.

Absolutely. Thank you for bringing that up again. I don't want to put words into your mouth, but I'm wondering if you're nervous about them expecting a fully coordinated dance number. Sometimes with musicals in general, my one fear is that I will be having a conversation and they will

expect me to at some point have choreo. I cannot do. I can't learn a dance move from my life to save my life. But I'm like, if we show them enough evidence that we can, will they expect it from everyone or will they understand this is

reserved for certain people who have something that not all of us have. And that's what I want to make sure they do know. But I think maybe they'll just have to learn by experience in that regard. Yeah. Yeah. Understand that we're all different. I mean, I think that's the beauty of it.

I just don't want flash mobs. Like, I don't want them to come and be like, flash mobs. That's what you guys are about. And then to avoid war, we have to keep doing them. Well, if that's all we have to do, that seems okay. Forever? To avoid an alien invasion? A violent alien invasion?

That is torture in itself. If every day we have to do flash mobs. But, I mean, I would imagine that people can substitute in and out. Like, you, Shelby, are not in the flash mob every day. You might get called in. It's like jury duty. You might get called in. It's like jury duty. You might get called in. You might get called in

for a flash mob. It's the draft. I'm like, I have a bad knee. Have you ever seen a flash mob? I've never. Have I ever seen

a flash mob? In real life? Oh, jeez. Was it amazing? Also was asked to be in one for a wedding that I didn't end up being able to go to. They actually did the flash mob wedding thing. Yeah. Was it amazing? I also was asked to be in one for a wedding that I didn't end up being able to go to.

They actually did the flash mob wedding thing. Yeah. Was it 2012? No, this was during COVID. Nope. And I said, I can't attend, but I saw the video that was supposed to train me. Oh, my God. Was it complicated?

What was the song? What I've learned about flash mobs, because I want to say it's the only time. It's not. What people do now is they send you an email of them doing it in their house. That is mortifying to watch. Wait, so you've been invited to be a part of multiple flash mobs? This is crazy. I've never been invited to be a part of a flash mob.

Me neither. I've barely been invited to a wedding. Yeah, right? I know. I'm like, okay, not only are you getting invitations out the wazoo. Okay, I'm really selling myself as a hot commodity, and I don't know what it is, but I just have been asked

to be in a couple of flash mobs. You're being modest, and it's like freaking me out. I've got moves for days. I'm just kidding. But I, and the videos are horrible to watch because it's just someone in their house who's chosen a dance that's going to be ably done by everyone, ideally. Okay.

And so it's always just kind of like god is this like the bride a lot of arms yeah a lot of arms and like step to the side step to the side okay and then you just watch someone in their house do it sort of like slowly and like they'll sing to themselves and it honestly is a little endearing to watch sometimes and then other times it's like sort of just embarrassing. Yeah. Because you're like this is meant to be done with so many people and that's the spectacle of it. So to watch you do it alone in your living room is sort of sad. That's intense.

But sometimes in that sadness is like a little bit of endearing. Like you're like, oh, you really care. You're putting care into this. Okay. Yeah. I would just be so honored to be surprised in any way by anyone like if anybody was doing anything behind my back and it was even just like a really weird flash mob i'd be like for me oh yeah someone did at my wedding i would say this was a crazy

choice but thank you for training right yeah cute to imagine people you love all getting together and being like, shoot. Right. Any sort of surprise, wow. I love a surprise. Do you like surprise parties? Do you like a surprise birthday? I would love that. No one's ever thrown me one.

Okay, well, noted. But I've been saying, I've been throwing it out there that I would really like it. Okay. And no one's thrown you it, you guys. One I would really like it. Okay. And no one's throwing it at you guys. One day somebody will do it for me. I'm, like, positive that one day someone will do it for you. And I think it'll be soon. And I think it'll be soon.

People crash. Yeah, surprises are awesome. It's a party. This podcast is fake. Allison, what is next on your records? What else do they got to know about? Okay, I picked Blink-182's Enema of the State because I think it's a wonderful album. And it also, I feel, just like teaches people what it's like to have a lot of teen angst, which feels like an important part of the human experience.

Absolutely. Can you remind us of some of the heavy hitters on that album? Not really. Okay. You're like, no. Let me see if I can guess which ones, because they all blur together. I'm wondering if I Miss You or Miss You.

No, that's later. Oh, okay. I think that might be a take off your pants in jacket one. I'm not sure. I think Enema of the State is like Wendy Clear. Is that on there? Yes. Wendy Clear.

There's a couple really big ones on here. You've liked one of them, Shelby? Yes. Correct. Oh, my God. I really should have brushed up on this before. Hey, it's okay. No, I'm ready to give you when you're ready.

Okay. Is Adam's song on it? Correct. That's another heavy hitter. I don't really – that's one of my least favorites, I'll be honest. But it's a heavy hitter. Yeah, it's a heavy hitter, definitely. Oh, she did not want to call that a heavy hitter.

No, I mean, do you know that song? No, can you hum it? What did Anya say? She called me a bully. No, no, I think if you're a real Blink fan, you know Adam's song, but I don't know if it's permeated popular culture in the same way some of their other hits have. Because it's kind of sad. It's really sad. It's not fun to hum.

You're not like, let's go. Okay. God, okay. Is Party Song on there? No. Yes, it is. Party Song is one of my favorites. Oh, All the Small Things is on there. All the Small Things, What's My Age Again.

Oh, okay. See, now I'm there. The three that really stuck out to me was like, oh, these were All the Small Things, What's My Age Again, and Adam's Song, which I understand you don't like. I do not like it. I just don't think it's one of the most popular ones. I understand you hate it.

No, I know. I don't know why it is for me. What was the other ones? I'm so sorry. No, I know. I don't know why it is for me. What was the other ones? I'm so sorry. No, no. This is my joy and pleasure. It is Dumpweed. Okay, so I was going to say Dumpweed, but for some reason I thought Dumpweed was on a different one.

Dumpweed is like peak Blink-182 for me. Can you hum Dumpweed? No. I will say, above all else, the album cover of this album is iconic. Yeah, it's really iconic.

Like, this album cover, if I were to see it, I would just be like, oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Like, you've seen it. Everyone's seen this album cover. It's like the

Sexy Nurse. It's not the Swimming Baby, but it has the same recognition as the Naked Swimming Baby. Wait. That's like the... Sexy nurse. It's not the Swimming Baby, but it has the same recognition as the Naked Swimming Baby. Wait. That's Nirvana, though. I know. I don't think they're the same. I'm saying recognition-wise, these

are two albums that I'm like, yeah, we've all seen that. I think I actually only knew about the Swimming Baby album cover, though, because of the lawsuit. The baby sued. The baby sued them and said, hey, I didn't consent

to my private parts being on this album when I was a baby. And so as an adult, the baby sued. But I think that the baby just recently lost, actually. It's actually kind of crazy that the baby lost. Can I say that? I feel like the baby should have won. I kind of feel like the baby should have won too. Well, I guess it's hard kind of crazy that the baby lost I know can I say that I feel like the baby should have won

I kind of feel like the baby should have won too well I guess it's hard right because the parents must have given the consent right which is like technically allowed but still weird

well it's just crazy to be like no if we want to use the naked baby on our album we can and the court's like correct

yeah the court's like exactly naked babies get to be on your album cover period I think about this a lot with social media. Yeah.

Like, these kids are going to grow up and, like, all of these naked photos of them are out there. All of these, like, revealing private photos are out there. It's, like, really kind of horrifying. And, like, the kids on TikTok where, like, the parents are totally capitalizing off of stuff they do and say. Yeah. My parents recently were like, I wish TikTok was around when you were a baby. We would have made a lot of money. And I was like, that's weird.

Yeah. I think something I don't love about pictures of babies on social media in general, there's some ethics to it all. Something that also really disturbs me is when there's a picture of a baby that is naked and they use like heart eyes emojis over the private parts or something. That freaks me the fuck out. Makes it weirder. I'm fine with you covering

it up. Go ahead. Use something like being like eek! What are you doing? And that specifically also upsets me for different reasons when they cover up like, like if there's like a picture of their dog laying on their back and they'll cover the dog's private parts. I'm like, what are we doing?

I wasn't looking. Now I feel like I have to. Now I'm like, well, why are we covering that up? I want to see it. Did it look weird or something? Yeah. Yeah. I don't, when people use the emojis for the baby's privates, I'm like, choose it wisely.

A black box or something. Let's be neutral. Yeah. Don't give it an emotion. I don't want it to be like. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

You know? Absolutely. Absolutely. It's weird. It's time to take a break. Must. Welcome back. Welcome back. Welcome back.

That one was less scary. Oh, great. That one just had sort of zany energy. It wasn't sinister. Happy to hear it, Shelby. Anything to keep you happy. You and I got in a huge fight over the break. Allison, we had a question for you.

Yeah. If you had to delete something from the records, that doesn't have to be like the big stuff. It doesn't have to be like war. But it's just something you're like, the aliens don't really need to get involved on that. What's something you would delete? Well, so I sent my answer promptly because i you know i worked i'm so afraid of being in trouble and um yeah yeah but and then the thing happened

so let me explain oh so what i had sent was getting rid of texting the wrong person by accident. But now the new Apple update or whatever has made it so that you can undo it. Oh, really? I was blown away. I was like, I willed this into existence. And you like that feature. Oh. Well, okay.

I don't mind the unsend. I have something I do. Actually, go ahead. Well, yeah. So I think an unsend is helpful because I've sent the wrong text message to the wrong person many a time. Right. And it's been mortifying for me personally. It has, yeah.

I've gotten into trouble with it for sure. The new feature for those that don't know, you can unsend and you can edit. Edit is weird. I think edit is a gaslighting nightmare. Yeah. I feel like I'm going to get into situations where I'm like, you said this, and if I don't have a screenshot, there's no proof. How quickly is it you can edit until the end of time or just like within like a minute period? I don't know. That actually would be really nice to know because I'm nervous that people in bad relationships are going to have a really bad time with this. Well, and I also wonder, because I know that on some social media, if you caption something and then edit the caption, it'll tell you that it has been edited.

Or it'll say edited. Right. Is it going to be that kind of thing? Again, really nice. That would be nice. Because I am afraid of this update. I'm scared, too. I like the unsend if it's quick.

No, I think it has to be quick. Okay. Right? Because what if you... How could you control... I have the answers. Okay. Right, because what if you – how could you control? I have the answers. Please. Oh, Anya, please.

I just keep picturing all our listeners on this episode like really screaming the answers into the phone. Yeah, I appreciate that. The first recipient will see that you've edited the text message. Thank God. You can only do it with other people who have Apple, iOS. iMessage, correct. And then you only have 15 minutes. To unsend?

To edit. You have 15 minutes to edit, and how long do you have to unsend? Let's look that up. I got to know. I know. I'm on the edge of my seat. Wait, that's too low. And has this update happened already?

Yes. Oh, it did? So I can do it on my little phone? Someone said that they were like, did you update yet? Well, maybe it was for a different one. No, no, no, don't update. Well, but I, yeah, because the experience of sending the wrong person

a text is like really bad. So embarrassing. I had one really recently that was super embarrassing. What was it? Two minutes. Nice. Two minutes. So you can unsend within two minutes. You can edit within 15. Okay. I feel a little bit more at ease. I've been nervous for some time.

You've been kind of sitting on this, like really worried about it. I have been kind of worried. So it was like, well, I'm just like, if I get annoyed with something someone said and then they just edit it, I'm going to be like, well, I don't even have the proof. Scream, scream, scream. Yeah. Right. And then I feel like I'm crazy. Here's my question.

Okay. Picture this. You send a text. Five minutes later, you unsend it. You're like, oh, shit. You can't. Two minutes. Oh, sorry.

Oh, two minutes? Okay. So picture this. You send a text. A minute and 30 seconds later, you unsend it. But the person's already read it. Right. They have it open in front of them.

And then it just, what, disappears? I will say that happens on Instagram because you can unsend messages on there already. You can? Oh, my God, yes. You can unsend a message at any time on Instagram. What? What? Yeah.

Do you do that often? Yeah. What kind of, what are you sending and unsending? Come on, okay, first of all, yeah, just can you tell us? I just unsend all the time. If I say something and I change my mind, I unsend. In a DM? Have you ever done it to me?

No. I've done it to Lindsay a lot. Lindsay, shout out. She knows. She hates it because what it'll tell you is that someone has unsent a message to you but won't tell you who. So she'll be like, did you unsend something? And then you have to either admit it or not. But it's really sort of about – I have done it as just sort of like a fun game sometimes.

Like I'll say something and then just unsend it as for fun. Rude. This is why you're so cued into the abuses of these systems because you're already doing it. Ding, ding, ding. No, but I don't do it for, I got asked to do a show recently and it was for like that night.

Like it was like, are you available to do a show tonight? And I didn't answer within 15 minutes and then they unsent the message and I thought that was nuts. Because I was like, wait, I would love to do it another time. I just couldn't tonight. Now I feel like I wasn't even asked.

Like, I feel like I have to be like, hey, just touching base. I saw you sent me a message, I think. But it's no longer there. And I was just checking. It like really made me go like, but I'm assuming it's because they ended up booking full. And they were like, well, we don't want you to. And I was like, just send a message. Instead of unsending, why don't you just hit me with a like, we're full.

Yeah, we're full. But instead. Can you do it next month? Wow. It made me go. I already have such a tenuous grasp of reality. Right. Me too.

I question everything all of the time. Like something will happen and my OCD will make me go immediately like, did that even happen? So now the idea that I could be getting messages and then they could be disappearing on me, I got to throw my phone out. You were celebrating it for a moment. Well, for me. For me deleting.

No one can delete what they send to me. I recently wrote a message that was for I wrote it to a group text instead of to one person. And it was, like, very much like. Was it gossipy? No, it was, like, more embarrassing than that. It was, like, a boring text about my day that I was being kind of, like, elaborate about explaining.

But I sent it to a group and being, like, you know what it was? I was shopping at Uniqlo., my girlfriend was inside Uniqlo. No, it's Uniqlo. Your Uniqlo. I was shopping at Uniqlo. But I was, my girlfriend was trying something on, and I was like, I was just sort of standing around waiting waiting for her and I felt like I was constantly in the way so I waited outside. And so I sent what I meant to send to her

was I keep being in the way in here so I'm just going to wait outside. And I sent to a group text of like 17 people. 17? And they were just kind of like hey what's going on and I was like I don't even know 17 people. I keep being in the way in here

so I'm just gonna wait I'm gonna remove you from the group text it's also so embarrassing for people to know that I felt uncomfortable in a story and then I was like you know what I feel like in here I'm just sort of a nuisance so I can't be like

painting myself like such a loser I had to be like and thenisance. So I can't be like painting myself like such a loser. I had to be like so self-deprecating. And then I just had to respond and be like someone wrote a question mark, question mark and I was like, sorry that wasn't for you. I'm waiting outside the unique clothes store. And then I was like does anyone need anything?

I was like, I don't know. I feel so like a looker. How do you come back from that? We were getting dinner for a friend's birthday. And honestly, I didn't even know everyone in the group text. There was people I didn't know in there. And I was, it was a really, and if I could have just unsent that, I knew the minute I pressed send that it was for the wrong people. Oh, no.

That is such a funny. So in that case, yeah, it would have been really helpful. I think it should be one minute. I think two minutes. Yeah, I think two minutes. Because then it's like the chances of someone seeing it are pretty high. It should be an accident, not a rethinking. Right.

Yeah. Very good. Yes. Very good. Right. And not a minute late. Because I feel like it shouldn't be like, wait, I regret that. I feel like you should have to.

You should be like, oh, I literally sent this to the wrong person. You should have to vocalize if you regret something. And you should get to unsend if you were a mistake altogether. I'm a big believer in shame. What? What? I won't elaborate okay can you i are you not able to edit a tiktok comment i've never figured out how to edit a tiktok comment i don't know i don't comment on tiktok i don't. Yeah. I've never. I feel like no. There's too many typos in there.

You can't really edit. I can't even delete a TikTok comment. People say too much crazy stuff to be able to edit. That seems terrible. I don't even know how to delete a TikTok comment. You don't have to be able to do that. A TikTok comment. You can delete a TikTok comment.

You slide on it and then there's a little trash can. Wow. Well, I've got some comments all over TikTok. I wish I could take back. You're like, where did I comment? I don't feel I'm in the way and I need to leave. I just love that all over video.

I just feel like I'm in the way. I feel like I should get out of here. I'm going to wait outside. Such an Eeyore comment. Oh, Eeyore. I hope you have no rush, but I'm going outside because when I'm in there, people just have to get around me. Might as well be a rack of clothes.

Anyway, that would have really helped me then. Yeah. But I feel like if you're like in a fight with someone or you're like having a disagreement and you say something and you regret it, you should have to express then. Yeah. But I feel like if you're like in a fight with someone or you're like having a disagreement and you say something and you regret it you should have to express regret.

Well I also would say that we shouldn't as a society be allowed to fight via text message. Agreed. You should have to only fight on the phone

or in person. Yeah. Do you not agree Shelby? You like fighting over text? I don't mind it because I have a hard time. I get overwhelmed really easily. And if I can sit with words for a second, I won't react in ways that I don't want.

Like, I just get really overwhelmed. I am better at policing my emotions in text. But why do you want to police your emotions? I want to think about them. Like, I want, like, I want to. Helps you take a breath. Yes, which, like, there's also asking for that is very real. But I, yeah, like, if I'm, if someone's, like, talking to me and tells me a bunch of things, like, I get really overwhelmed and then I'm, like, trying to order it all in my head.

And I'm, like, oh, like, and then I pretty quiet, and then I don't really know how to respond. But in a text, I can be like, this is what they're saying. I can reread it and, like, understand it better. And then you can always hit a voice memo with your response. You should be able to fight in voice memos. Okay. I respect that. You should be able to fight in voice memos.

Email can be kind of cool in this way I don't know maybe this is a hot take you're fighting with people over email I'm not fighting but heated discussion like when I have something to tell someone and I don't really want to handle their response right away or like don't trust myself to have a good response

right away I'll shoot an email. I'll write a letter. Yeah, that's exactly. It's my parents. It's exclusively that. And if there are people that gave birth to you, if there are people that you are having disagreement with and you don't want to, you know, you can email.

It's fully my, for me. Maybe they're over the age of 70 and, you know, and they don't get it. You can just email them. So I think, yes, sending the text to the wrong person should be deleted.

Do I think that Apple has found the exact right way to delete that? No. I think we're still waiting on the perfect solution. The work in progress, yeah. Yeah. Right? Oh, yeah.

It's okay. Yeah, that's fine. And I want to take back my caveat about that you shouldn't fight over text because I do think people's brains work in different ways and I don't want to discount that. Whoa. Yeah. Thank you. No, people could stop fighting over text.

People don't like that about me. But I – I just think there can be a lot of misinterpreting. Tell them. Because also like we as humans pick up a lot on body language and nonverbal communication and all of that's lost in text. 100%. Yeah. It's not a perfect system for me either if i could find the perfect thing i don't know what it would be well maybe it would be here's a pitch you're sitting okay so say you and i were having a fight well actually oh god this sucks yeah first of all oh god i hate. Yeah. First of all, oh, God, I hate this so much.

Second of all, what if we both had pads of sticky notes and we weren't allowed to speak? It's just like. But we were sitting across from each other so we could read each other's body language. But you say something or you write something on a sticky note. You're like, you did that for my feelings. And I'm like. The way if I got angry, the quickness with which I would be trying to get out my response. You know what I mean?

But that would be something that I would see. But that would be so annoying as the writer to be like, wait, I have so much to say about this. Like, yeah. I have horrible handwriting. So that could be a real problem. Yeah. I think. Sure. real problem yeah in my fight i think sure i think the reality is is being like i need a second before i respond and fighting in person yeah that's the thing people don't realize you can do

is like you can take timeouts yeah you can take a mindful timeout and be like check back in five minutes i gotta walk away i need to think for a second and that's not a bad thing you just have to like have a time to come back. Yeah. Or else you kind of just like board a plane, leave the country, never resolve it. God, I hate when I do that. I hate that. It's like the worst.

I hate when I on a whim just like other country. No, I tried. Caleb and I once tried to go to Mexico. And I found out that my passport was expired into the drive. So. Oh, no. Yeah, it was a bummer. Oh, man.

So next time you guys want to, on a whim, go out of the country, hey, check that passport. How about? I wonder if mine's expired. Mine's not now. I got a new one because of that. Yeah. I said time to renew. Yeah.

What is next on your records? What else do they got to know about? So you guys had said that you could do like a feeling, right? Yes, 100%. Science is so powerful. And so I, when I try to think about like, what is like a lovely feeling to experience as a human, I came up with when you're getting out of a pool and somebody's already waiting for you with a warm towel and then they wrap that towel around you beautiful it really is one of the sweetest acts of kind wonderful act of care and love and it yeah yeah because it really first of all getting out of a pool is an embarrassing act sometimes yeah i've decided like the act of getting out

well it depends if there's stairs or what your situation is. But if you're – when you're like putting yourself out of a pool, there is something truly sort of like – So vulnerable. It's very vulnerable. It's so vulnerable. And someone just being like, oh, let me cover you up real quick. It's so nice. And let me like protect you from the elements.

Yeah. That's the other thing is that there is – no matter what the temperature is, the second you get out of the pool, you're uncomfortable. Right. For a second. Right. It's soaking wet. You're dripping.

And usually a little chill. The towel. Oh, the towel. It makes me think of when I was, like, a little kid and I would get out of a pool and the pool towel itself would be so large. Yeah. Like it would encase my whole body, you know? Oh, it's the best.

And you're like. Just to wrap you right up. Yeah. Also, kids get so cold right out of the pool. Kids get so. They're always purple-lipped. Kids are always so cold right out of the pool. When you see a kid get out of the pool, they're immediately like.

It's really intense. Yeah. It's like, get it together. Not that cold. Heat up. Yeah. Jeez. That's like, get it together. Not that cold. Heat up. Yeah. Jeez. That's what I say to kids.

Heat up. You know, heat up. Dude. Yeah. All kids are dudes. That's true. No, I think that is such an, like, a sweet, it is like a, oh, you saw I was going to get up. Like, and you don't have to ask for it.

There's like a preparation. Anticipating your need. Yes. Which is like really lovely. And then you're just like, thank you. Right? Also, I think it does make me feel like a little kid again. Definitely.

Like you feel very safe, protected, cared for. Thank you. Thank you. I like want to have a Popsicle or something. Thanks. Thanks, that's awesome it's cute I think it's a perfect feeling it's a really nice feeling did you ever have those towels

that had a hood on them too no but I wish I had like a little animal head honestly they probably do make those for adults that would be a little weird if I had one. Oh, whatever. Okay.

Have one. All right. Yeah. Okay. Then I will. They have like Snuggies now. You were just trying to figure out if it was okay for you to get one. And that would suck if like I had one.

And like if I mentioned that I had one, you guys would probably be like, ew, gross. You'd like laugh at me, right? Everyone would be laughing at me if I had one. Yeah. No, I think it would be cool. Cool. I would love to have that. They also have like those tiny towels just for wrapping your hair up.

I use that. Yeah. Not at the pool, but I use it daily in my bathroom. Yeah. Does it have a button? Yeah, it does. Yeah. Yeah.

That's cool. It's really – I don't think it does much. Really? But I guess it's less bulky than wrapping my hair in a traditional towel. It's supposed to be better for your hair. It's supposed to be better for your hair. It's supposed to, like, dry it faster. Because it's microfiber or something rather than –

Yeah, I don't know if that's – And it's less heavy, so it doesn't, like, pull as much. Oh, is that why? It's supposed to be. Uh-uh. I mean, what do I really know, you know? Hey, you know a lot. No.

You know what's best for your hair, especially if you have curly hair, for a lot of you curly haired little freaks, yeah, a t-shirt or a silk scarf. Why a t-shirt? Because the little nubbins on towels, you know what I'm talking about? Terry cloth.

Especially with curly hair, they'll catch on your hair and break up the curls. So not the shape of a t-shirt, just the material. Just the material, correct. They had just like a rectangle of cotton, which is what I use. Lovely. Yeah. Do you?

Where'd you get it? Cut up a t-shirt. Oh, okay. And do you wrap it around your head? No, up a t-shirt. Oh. Okay. Duh. Do you wrap it around your head? No, I usually just sort of like that. Okay. Oh, I wrap a t-shirt around my head.

You do t-shirts? Yeah. Sometimes I'm lazy. But my hair doesn't really... I don't take care of my hair good. Sorry. That's it. Do you have curly hair? Yeah.

What? I have not this kind of curly. Yeah. Not like, because there's like the, there's like a ranking system. I have little macaronis. And I have three Bs. There's like a rating system. Is that what you're talking about?

Yeah. And I'm like, what is it? Like two Bs, like tighter waves? Mm-hmm. I'm like that. I'm a 2A. Okay. I just learned this the other day.

Okay. Yeah. I think I'm a 2 because I'm a wave. I'm a wavy girl. Yeah. I think I'm a two because I'm a wave. I'm a wavy girl. Yeah. I have naturally like almost combination. Like some of my hair will go into like a perfect coil and then some of it will be like relatively straight. It also depends how I dry it.

Like I think if I were to do like the curly girl method or whatever, I would have pretty tight curls. Wow. But I don't have the patience. Right. It's a lot of work. I don't take tight curls. Wow. But I don't have the patience. Right. It's a lot of work. I don't take care of my hair. And in that way, I guess I really take care of it. Like, I don't do anything to it at all.

Oh, so no heat damage. None. Nice. I've never dyed it. Naturalista. So I guess in some ways, I'm taking perfect care. But in other ways, I'm doing a really bad job with it. Absolutely. Absolutely. So what is next on your records?

I think that next on my records was Ben and Jerry's Coffee Buzz Buzz Buzz. Yeah. Because let me tell you, I love ice cream. Yeah, me too. But I need there to be – to make a great ice cream, I need there to be a crunch. Uh-huh. I'm not all about like a very smooth ice cream. I like when there's different consistencies and textures in my ice cream.

Coffee, coffee, buzz, buzz, buzz has a lot of little things. I feel like it has like nuts and stuff. It's variety. What's all in coffee, coffee, buzz, buzz, Buzz has a lot of little things. I feel like it has nuts and stuff. It's variety. What's all in Coffee, Coffee, Buzz, Buzz, Buzz? Once again, Coffee, Coffee, Buzz, Buzz, Buzz. Espresso bean fudge chunk. Ooh. So pretty good.

I love a fudge chunk. A fudge chunk is huge. I love espresso beans. And I feel like what I've done with this selection, if I may be so bold, is I'm also introducing them to coffee, which I think is a huge part of the human experience. Yeah. Has anyone put coffee on the record before? I don't think. Which is crazy.

That's crazy. Fucked up. Yeah. And Ben & Jerry's is a nice company. Oh, yeah. That's true. They are. I went to school in Vermont.

Good. You did? And we really chatted about Ben and Jerry quite a bit. I would go to Vermont every summer growing up, and we would always stop at the Ben and Jerry's factory. I've been. Did you ever get a Vermonster? No, what's that? You know?

A Vermonster is the worst thing that exists. It is a big tub, like a bucket of ice cream. And I think it's like 36 scoops or something, a banana, a cookie, a brownie. Like it's massive. That sounds epic. And you can't – so let me – there's some caveats to it. This all sounds amazing. Right. And I think that's the lore of it is that it's like, oh, my God, what a dream.

And if you finish it at a lot of like the scoop shops, they'll like put a picture of you on the wall or whatever. The problem is that if you go with a group, which is how I've done for Monsters in the Past, you put a lot of flavors in there and they do not mix well. And this thing is going to melt into a really bad mix. They're not setting you up for success. Because people will do like a coffee, coffee, buzz, buzz, buzz and then strawberry. And you're like, why am I eating these two together? I can mix flavor. I like a mix.

You like strawberry and coffee? Bite to bite. I like a topless. No, but I'm saying, with this much, it melts together by the end. By the end, you're sipping on some. I'm okay with it. I like that about you.

I think that can you. That's cool. I think that can be so powerful. But by the end of a – I mean you have to be in a group big enough that it isn't so miserable by the end. But typically by the end of a Vermonster, it's like nobody's enjoying it. Everyone's miserable. I'm sorry, but I just don't believe you that it becomes so horrible eating a big ice cream sundae. That sounds like – like you're making it seem like by the end people are like, hate themselves, hate the world. Yeah.

Like they're just eating a sundae. If you don't like it, stop eating it. You're making it sound really bad, Shelby. No, it's like a mission to finish it. So everyone's like, I have to finish it. There's like then all this like mutual responsibility. So people are like, I feel like I'm done. And then people are like, you can't be done because then I have to eat your –

I think there's too much control in your friend groups. This has been so many different friend groups over time that I can't imagine it's about the dynamics of the friend group. I did it with a soccer team once. I did it with a bunk at camp. I did it with – like I did it with college friends. It's just like I've had a lot of remonsters and it has never ended up being like a joyful experience. It's always been like, wow, this really sucks to do.

Shelby, that's really hard. So surprising. But I challenge you really genuinely to go to a scoop shop, get a Vermonster with a group of friends and enjoy it all the way through. I would and I will. Why you do desperately? Because I will at a certain point say, I'm done. And then they'll say, you have to keep going, and I'll say, why?

We're here for fun. Why turn this into some sort of competition? Oh, it's not a competition with each other. It's like a challenge. No, I understand, but why make it a challenge? Because that's how they advertise it. Yeah, but I don't buy into that. Oh, see, I'm competitive.

No, I give up. I love to quit. And I love to fail. That's where we – God, you have what I want. God, do I wish. Quitting is fun. I quit all the time. Quitting is really fun.

Yeah. You are, like, cut to me, like, being the last one willing to eat the Vermont. Yeah, the three of us go and then you get so violently ill because we eat one scoop and are, like, at myself. There's also, like, the brownie, the cookie. Like, that stuff's heavy. It's, like. It's a lot. No, it's a lot.

And you really have to be selective about the flavors. I cannot trust this enough. You have to be selective about the flavors. They have to be within the same group. And, frankly, they shouldn't be the heavy flavors. I don't know necessarily what I mean by that. But, like, don't get a cookie dough. Don't get a cookie dough.

Oh, I love cookie dough. See, I'd be like put the cookie dough in there. But don't get it for this. That's not what this is. Right, because this is serious. People are mad at me in the room. You ever get a maple creamy in Vermont? No.

What? Yes, yes, yes, yes. I literally for a second was like, what are you talking about? I was going to be like, dude, you've got to go to Vermont and get a maple, just maple soft serve.

It's so freaking good. Oh my God, I don't think I've had that. It's so good. I've had maple candy a lot. Yeah, maple candy's amazing. Maple creamy,

next level. Also, do you ever do the, I don't remember what they call it, but when they just put maple on ice? What? No worries.

I got to have that. Like a maple snow cone? Oh, my God. Kind of, but it just freezes onto the ice a little. What? It sounds amazing. Maple stuff is the best, man. I love it.

Maple's a good flavor. I love Vermont. Yeah. Well, actually, so my final, if I can jump, my final item is also from Vermont. Oh, what is it? Believe it or not. So every summer we would also go to the Teddy Bear, the Vermont Teddy Bear Factory. Yes.

And one year I got a teddy bear that I named Bob Fred. Perfect name. And he's just kind of your perfect, you know, classic teddy bear. And so I would include that as well to show that, like, as humans, we have these little companions that bring us joy. Oh, yeah. That's awesome. Do you still have Bob Fred? Yeah.

I do. The name Bob Fred is such a kids naming their thing name. I think I was a Billy Joe Bob. Oh, yeah. I had Jeremiah. I was a weird kid. Yeah. Oh. Like, I, like,

my first AOL email address was BassDeer51. Because I tried more popular animals, and those seemed to be taken. So you sort of went down the list. And then I jumped right to BassDeer, thinking no one's thinking about that. Which makes you such a

specific, like, BassDeer, if I were to about that. Such a specific, like Bass Deer. If I were to see, if I were to be on TikTok or Instagram and see a username Bass Deer comment, I would have a completely, an image of you that couldn't be more different than what sits in front of me here today. And then a few years later, I was like, that's so not cool, Allison. Like you need a cooler email address. And so I changed it to Kicking Kangaroo 2 which is pretty great

alliteration. I don't know I had to pick two there was already a Kicking Kangaroo 1 Kicking Kangaroo 2 sorry my mom named my first screen name Tumbleweed 61093 that's beautiful because I was a gymnast.

Yeah, it's not that bad. No one knew what a tumbleweed was, and everyone thought I was talking about drugs. And I was young. Is that a drug? Weed? Oh, tumble. Oh, wow. I don't think of tumbleweed.

A lot of people didn't know what tumbleweed was, so they were just like, she tumbles from gymnastics and she smokes weed. Got it. Was that not true? At the time, my first screen name I got in like sixth grade. I was like, no, I'm she smokes weed. Got it. Was that not true? At the time, my first screen name I got in like sixth grade. I was like, no, I'm not smoking weed.

Guys, that's not me. That's not my deal. I do tumble, but not that great. Not the graph. This is miserable to admit.

I'm embarrassing myself on this podcast. Then, so many people were telling me that I did drugs that my next screen name was Hugs Not Drugs. Whoa! 6.0. The pendulum

swung back, baby! And then I got embarrassed by that when I started doing drugs. So then I made it just my name. You made it Drugs Sometimes? Yeah. I was like, Hugs and Drugs depends on your mood. Yeah. I was like, hugs and drugs depends on your mood. Yeah.

No, but I really had a journey with my screen name. Hugs, not drugs. 610? Maybe. Hell yeah. That is so cool. So Bob Fred. Yeah.

Do you still have him? Did you say? Yeah, I do. You do. In your house here or like with your parents? I think that they're – I think my old school stuffed animals are in my shed. Obsessed. But I'm obsessed with stuffed animals.

Like I still go into stores and want them. Like my body gravitates towards them. And if it was more okay, I think I would buy them all the time. They're making them better now too. Oh, yeah. They've got amazing ones out there. They've got really – some really soft fabrics. You know, I want one that's got some real heft to it.

I can hug it well. Absolutely. You know they're making weighted stuffed animals now? I've been targeted about those. And I'm on the cusp of diving in. Yeah. I'm one click away from getting one of those. And they have those those octopus ones

that you can flip inside and outside oh I love those but that's not to hold it's very small that's to play with no those ones are more for what I keep getting advertised for that which makes me feel like

I need to like look inward is that you can put it based on your mood you can be like I'm happy today yeah you can talk to me I'm happy or you can be like I'm'm happy today. Yeah. You can talk to me, I'm happy. Or you can be like, I'm in a bad mood. Right.

But I'm like, I don't feel like I should have to rely on a soft animal. I'm almost 30. Right. You should maybe be able to say those words. I should get to say, I'm just not in a good mood today. Yeah. I shouldn't have to put an octopus out. Maybe the octopus could be for when you're having some confrontation.

I don't want to do the octopus thing about having happy or sad octopus. I think it's probably really cute, but I can't. It's not for you. I can't use that as my communication style. Okay. Let me know what that changes. I think I'd be regressing. Okay. I think I'd be regressing. Okay. I think I'd be regressing.

Vermont Teddy Bear Factory is like, those are like nice bears. Yeah, they're really lovely. And you get to see them get made. Yeah, Bob Fred's real good. And I actually had another one that looked like a regular teddy bear, but then if you took its face off, it was an alien underneath. Whoa. Okay. I'm like very into aliens is the part that I've yet to reveal on this podcast. So late in the game.

Do you think? I played it cool when you asked me to be on. I was like, yeah, sure, with the aliens. And I'm like, they're listening. Yeah. God, I hope. Yeah. My teenage bedroom was just, like, filled with alien posters.

What? What you've just described, though, in the teddy bear is one of the scariest things I've ever heard. Yeah. Oh, it's cute. It's nice. The face comes off. The face does come off. Like, does it not feel scary?

Well, it's more of a surprise, which we've established we like. We love, yeah. Okay. We love, yeah. I want to see it. I'm so fascinated. I really want to see it. Do you think, but you wouldn't send that one to space because that might scare the actual alien.

Well, that feels like it's mocking them. Yeah, mocking their culture. You really don't want to set us up for failure. No. Please. We got to be really conscientious about what we're sending. Yeah, obviously, yeah. Because what if they look nothing like that?

That's my fear. How dare you make these assumptions about me? I'm not green. Yeah, they're like stereotype, stereotype, stereotype. I would never take on a body of a bear. Right. Yeah, maybe they're like anti-disguise. Exactly. They're like, we are who we are. Yeah. Gotcha.

Now, do you believe that the aliens are already among us? I hate to bring this up again, but many people think they're octopuses. Why? Yeah. Well, I have a big theory, which I shared in the last time I was on a HeadGum podcast like four years ago. Perfect.

But I still have a theory, which is I believe that the number one way that the government covers up aliens is by just telling us it's from the ocean. Because you would believe anything was from the ocean. Yeah, you would. I literally would. Right? You have seen some of the most wild photos of stuff. Yeah. Like neon colors, all sorts of tentacles, wild looking things. And in other contexts, you would say that's an alien.

But as soon as the big government goes, that's from the deep ocean, we go, okay. No problem. Because we haven't seen a lot that's down there. Right? And it's the scariest place to be. Scariest place. Scariest in space. Or most exciting.

Both. Well, you love a surprise. I don't want to be surprised in the deep ocean. I want to be on land. I want to know exactly. Yeah. Yeah. I want to know that I could take a deep breath when I get scared.

That's fair. And not die. Yeah. Drown immediately. No. I was going to say we're coming up to the end of our time. Yeah. Drown immediately. No. I was going to say we're coming up to the end of our time. Yeah. Is that what you were going to say?

Maybe. I don't know. Is there anything left that we didn't get to on your list? No, I think that. I think we covered them. Wow. I mean. Talk about perfection.

I'm talking about it. Allison, where can people find you? Yes. So you can find me on socials at Allison Raskin. I have a mental health focused Instagram called Add Emotional Support Lady. That's also a sub stack. I have my weekly podcast, Just Between Us, available wherever podcasts are listened to. And then my latest book

Overthinking About You, Navigating Romantic Relationships When You Have OCD, Anxiety, and or Depression is available wherever books are sold. Get the book. This episode's ending, which means go listen to her podcast right now.

It's already on the app. And have an amazing rest of your day, night, morning, whatever you're doing. Oh, cool. They could be going to sleep. Good night, love. Sleep well. Mwah. Thank you so much for being on.

Happy for being on. I'm happy for having me. Thank you. That was a Hiddem Original.