Kermode & Mayo’s Take - 20 Years of Kermode & Mayo

Episode Date: June 5, 2025

Vanguardistas have more fun—so if you don’t already subscribe to the podcast, join the Vanguard today via Apple Podcasts or extratakes.com for non-fruit-related devices. In return you’ll get a whole extra Take 2 alongside Take 1 every week, with bonus reviews, more viewing recommendations from the Good Doctors and whole bonus episodes just for you. And if you’re already a Vanguardista, we salute you. It's a 20th anniversary special for this ‘ere podcast—yes, we have been in your ears via download since 2005. That’s two whole decades ago. Whew. To celebrate we’ve got a bumper correspondence special for you with lots of lovely stuff from you loyal listeners—including some who have valiantly put up with us for the entire duration. Alongside our usual box office top 10, we’ll be rolling back the clock to see what was in the charts this time two decades ago, and there will be reminiscences aplenty. Reviews aplenty too: First up, 'Ballerina', the latest instalment in the world of John Wick, this time with a twist--or should we say a pirouette? Plus, a double whammy of new horror releases: 'Clown In A Cornfield' adds another creepy clown to the conematic cannon of coulrophobia, and 'Dangerous Animals' is asks 'hmmm what would Jaws be like with an added serial killer?". Check out the Good Doctor's top takes on the lot. Timecodes (for Vanguardistas listening ad-free): Ballerina review: 10:32 Box Office Top Ten: 18:01 Clown in a Cornfield review: 37:39 Dangerous Animals review: 53:14 You can contact the show by emailing [e-mail] or you can find us on social media, @KermodeandMayo Please take our survey and help shape the future of our show: https://www.kermodeandmayo.com/survey EXCLUSIVE NordVPN Deal ➼ https://nordvpn.com/take Try it risk-free now with a 30-day money-back guarantee! A Sony Music Entertainment production. Find more great podcasts from Sony Music Entertainment at sonymusic.com/podcasts and follow us @sonypodcasts To advertise on this show contact: [e-mail] And to find out more about Sony’s new show Origins with Cush Jumbo, click here Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Oh hey, this is Simon. This is Mark. I'll give you a pretty penny, Mark, if you can name any film festivals that are on the horizon in June. Transylvania Film Festival, Film on Film with the BFI, Tribeca, that's three pretty pennies, you know me? An esteemed critic like yourself cannot be in all those places at once, but you can get pretty darn close to it with NordVPN. Saving on travel and jet lag to unlock the best films from around the world sounds pretty good. But it's not only that, Mark. No, you can log on to public Wi-Fi anonymously, leaving no

way for hackers to get your data even when you're streaming. And even better, you can get it across multiple devices. So whatever you're using to stream the best of this year's new films from around the world, you're covered and you are protected. With NordVPN, you can travel the world faster than a private jet, minus the carbon footprint. Unwrap a huge discount on NordVPN by heading to nordvpn.com slash take. Plus, with our link you'll get an extra four months free on the two-year plan. And it's risk-free with Nord's 30-day money-back guarantee. Check the link in the description. Before we begin, a quick reminder that you can become a Vanguard Easter and get an extra

episode every Thursday. Including bonus reviews, extra viewing suggestions, viewing recommendations at home and in cinemas, plus your film and non-film questions answered as best we can in Questions Shmessions. You can get all that extra stuff via Apple podcasts or head to ExtraTakes.com for non-fruit related devices. There's never been a better time to become a Vanguard Easter. Free offer now available wherever you get your podcasts. And if you're already a Vanguard Easter, we salute you. Okay, well we're about to start. Did you see that thing on the screen just then? It said, Paul has something to say.

What is that? Where did that come from? I've never seen that before. I've got absolutely no idea. That's the redactor having special, there he is, he's got something else to say. It's a little thing. This is obviously when you do online business, it's like putting your hand up. It's the equivalent of putting your hand up. So we would go, that's what it is. Yes. A pull at the back and then he'd chip in with some graph, which he's just seen about subscribers or something like that. What was the, what was the thing that when you, if you like pointed at something,

you did it once we were doing something and you pointed and suddenly sparks flew out of your fingers because you'd set some setting that if you put your hand up, your camera recognized it and it made like, zhozhi effects. Remember that? Yeah, I don't know. Yes, I do. It was the kind of thing that amused us for weeks during COVID, I think. Yes. And then there was another thing about a council meeting that was led by somebody whose children had put a filter on that turned his face into a cat and he didn't know how to turn it off.

Yep. Yep. All of that stuff. Endless joys. Anyway, hello. Hello. I was at the opera again last night because Itch the Opera returned triumphantly. And I realized during half time slash the interval that I should have messaged you because it was a Tuesday night and you could have come. I could have come. Yeah. But you didn't. Apologies for that. Okay. Because the others are on Yeah, but you didn't. Apologies for that. Okay.

Because the others are on Friday, Sunday, Wednesday and Friday. So thanks for the heads up because I'm just, as you know, only in town Monday, Tuesday. So I should have. How did it go? Was it great? It was great. No, it was terrific. There's a new guy playing itch.

It was great fun. So it was just a shame that there was a Kermode seat that was empty. Well, look, since you're plugging your stuff, what are you doing on October the 17th and can you come to Birkenhead? October the 17th, I think I'm opening a supermarket in Hales-Owen. Oh, are you? Okay. Because we do, you know the Gang of Three thing. We're doing Gang of Three play entertainment from beginning to end. We're doing it again. We're doing it in Birkenhead. And I have a Dr. Pop question for you and it goes like this.

Yes. So the whole thing about the Gang of Three thing is that we play the whole of entertainment from beginning to end, exactly as it is on the record. That's it. That's the whole point of the project. Why are we doing it? Well, because it entertains me and there is entertainment. But entertainment is about 40 minutes long, right?

Maybe a little bit longer. But you know when you play a gig, quite often you get excited and you play fast. And consequently that means you get through the album like half an hour and you're done. And I have this issue, which is what happens if, I mean, against all the odds, right? Birkenhead loves Gang of Three, they go, that was so

fabulous, give us an encore. What do we do? I have been fretting about this and we think, okay, well, maybe we'll do something off of like solid gold or outside the trains don't run on time or something, but that's cheating. Here's my question to you. Entertainment came out in 1979, right? If we were going to do like a Marky Smith style cover, you know Marky Smith, the full cover, everything from, you know, I'm going to Spain to F Holding

Money and all that stuff. What's the best song of 1979 that we can do as an encore? Because I think if we do another Gang of Four song, that would be cheating. And I think we'd get, I think the hardcore purists would be cross. So what's the best song that we can do as an encore? Yeah, okay. So 1979. Well, my favourite song from 1979, I don't think would work, which is Gangsters by The Special A.K.A. Can't do that. And I was gonna say, I think that's quite tricky. Also Setting Sons by The Jam came

out in 1979. Can't do that. Can't do The Jam. Why can't you do Eatin' Rifles or something? No, no, no, no, no, because that'd be now. I want like, I want like, I want literally like something like The Fall doing I'm Going to Spain. Okay. We Don't Talk Anymore by Cliff Richard. That's it. That's it. That is going to be the encore. It's genuinely one of the best pop singles of 1979. That's it. It was a number one. That's it. Okay. So we're going to do the whole of entertainment,

right? We're going to do everything in entertainment. We're going to do the whole of entertainment, right? We're going to do all, you know, everything in entertainment. We're going to finish up with love like anthrax. We're going to go off. The crowd's going to go mad. We're going to come back on and we're going to do. So funny. How we don't talk anymore. And then you have to do a little swirl at the end. It would be funny.

It would be genuinely funny. Uh, anyway, what's happening later? What are you up to on this year pod? We have a packed show we have reviews of from the world of John Wick ballerina, which is a clumsy title at the best of times. We have clown in a cornfield, which quite literally, mate does exactly what it says on the packet. And then we have dangerous animals, which is a film designed for people who said, you know that Jaws, it was fine, but it didn't have

enough serial killers in it. Okay. So it's sharks and serial killers. Well, wait till you get to the review, but yes. Right. And clowning a cornfield. When it starts, are we actually in a cornfield? Yep. And guess what's in the cornfield? Hiya Georgie. One of those? Hiya Georgie. Yeah, but sadly actually it's not that the

heat, that is still the, and I think actually we've got a feature in take two or maybe in take one. We wish out one of the takes, which is Scariest Clowns. When you say clown in a cornfield, I'm afraid my pot brain just went mirror in the bathroom. So I can- Clown in the cornfield, I'm afraid my pot brain just went mirror in the bathroom. So I can... Clown in a cornfield, can't you see, the door is not just you and me. Did you know that that song is about drugs? Can you take me to a restaurant that's got glass tables you can watch yourself while you are eating?

Got glass tables you can watch yourself while you are eating. Yes. Anyway, and for top level Vanguard Easter subscribers, what do we get for a bonus there? Well, I can't believe that anyone is listening to this and hasn't yet subscribed, but if they haven't, Falling Into Place, which is a new release that's had some very interesting critical responses, and also, astonishingly, there is an anniversary reissue of Paul Verhoeven's Showgirls. We talked about a documentary about Showgirls a few years ago. Showgirls is back in cinemas in all its halls. On the subject which we floated the last

couple of weeks of happy anniversary, happy anniversary, happy anniversary, happy anniversary, Simon and Mark says, Zoe in Bristol, memories from the podcast for your 20-year anniversary. I listened for a while to your previous incarnation. I remember a series of three or possibly four podcasts that contained interlinked listener correspondents. My memory is hazy, but I remember it started with someone listening on a train and realizing that someone else near them was listening too. Yes. I do remember this.

I do remember this, yeah. The next week, that person wrote in to confirm in the following week someone else from the same carriage also wrote in. It's not much, but I enjoyed the ongoing saga of members of the church recognizing each other in a train carriage over a number of episodes. Zoe in Bristol, thank you. I had completely forgotten that, but that was, you know, I mean, obviously a podcast is a lovely thing, but when you're listening to a live thing on the radio and someone else sitting opposite you is listening to the same

thing, that was quite fun. And hopefully laughing in the same places. Yes. Dear Pithy and Easy Peeler says Andy Sheath. Wow. There's a name. Congratulations on 20 years of excellent podding. My favourite memory is the time you asked one of the, let's say it's young and tech savvy production team to help with getting to grips with one of those newfangled app thingamies. I can't remember which one it was. Let's say it was Instagram. Well, actually it was Snapchat. Oh, Snapchat. Yes, that's Snapchat and the redactor actually came on air and we said, how do we do Snapchat? And he said, well, you just do Snapchat. Is that where that began? That's where it all began. Because he said, this is back to Andy, Mr. Sheath, he opened up with,

well, you first log into, he's written Instagram, but it was Snapchat. And we've got no further because of the howls of stop, stop from your good selves, along with a lot of the congregation, I would have thought the number of the protest being that if we could log onto it, there'd be no need for his tutorial in the first place. Comedy gold, unforgettable, up and down with the usuals and thanks for the warmth and company you provide with every pod. Thanks Mr. Sheath.

Yes. Snapchat, which kind of,, I don't know. I'm sure we don't do anything on Snapchat. But we used to. I can't remember how it works anymore. So you didn't, you do, you did special reviews on Snapchat. What? I'm sure you did.

Like as an extra bonus thing. On Snapchat. Yeah. No, no, not Snapchat on what's the other one? What's the one that when it listens to you and gives all your information to China? Oh, TikTok, you mean? TikTok. I think we did that and then we stopped because it was just Mark going, and it was just like, say, I think it was doing the top five rundown or

something, but I was spectacularly bad at it because it's not my, it's not my, not my metier. The redactors are saying it was TikTok. Okay. Yeah, there we go. That's what, that's what it was. Yeah. That's, that's the thing. Oh, my computer has just told me scan complete. Awesome. No threats were detected. I didn't think I was scanning you, but thanks for telling me. When it says no threats, does that mean it's sort of looked throughout Cornwall and detected that you're safe? Mason 20th anniversary celebration re-emails will crop up in fairly regular intervals. Thank you very much for sending them in. Anyway, movie reviews is what we need to be doing. You mentioned from the world of John Wick. So carry on. Colon Ballerina.

Oh, colon. Okay. When you think of me, you should think of fire risen from the ashes again. And again, that's what if you've seen the trailer, that line comes up so many times. So this is a John Wick spin-off set between the events of chapter three and chapter four, directed by Len Wiseman, who did a lot of stuff on the Underworld series and did that 2012 total recall. And written by Shay Hatton. and as far as I can tell, he wrote a spec script. The spec script was bought after being on the blacklist. Then he wound up working on the John Wick movies because they liked the spec script and now they decided to do

this. Anna Diamas, who I like very much, is in the lead role of Eve. she is, as the title would suggest, a ballerina assassin who begins to train as an assassin in order to exact revenge on the people who did away with her family. The character originally appeared in the other films played by somebody else, Anna de Armas taking over. Anna de Armas taking it over. Anna de Armas co-starred with Keanu Reeves, I don't know whether you remember this, she co-starred with Keanu Reeves in Knock Knock,

and then she also co-starred with him in that weird film I told you about. It was recut as Exposed, but it was originally called Daughter of God, and it was much more interesting in the original version. And then she had a scene stealing appearance in the James Bond franchise, So, like her very much. So, here is a clip from, from the world of John Wick, colon ballerina.

You're him. The one they call the Babayaga. The students all talk about you. How do I get out of here? The front door is unlocked. No, I mean, how do I start doing what you do? Looks like you already have. Now that, he delivers every line exactly the same, doesn't he? I know, I know. But obviously the unmistakable tones of Kinanu. And one of the reasons that clip is available is because, hey, Kinanu's't it? Let me tell you right now kinanu is in it very very briefly I mean the film is funny because it said on the FDA list that it was 91 minutes long and I was watching it thinking

This isn't 91 minutes long. It's actually over two hours and he's in about 10 minutes of them The film has a very messy past so Um, the film has a very messy past. So they started filming in 2022, they were in post production in 2023. Then in 2024, there was all this stuff about reshoots. And do you remember you interviewed, I think you interviewed Keanu and Chad, is it pronounced it Stahelski? Yes. Yeah. I believe that's correct. Okay. Um, who, you know, obviously was a John it, is it, is it, is it, is it, is it, is it, is it, is it, is it, is it, is it, is it, is it, is it, is it, is it, is it, is it, is it, is it, is it, is it, is it, is it, is it, is it, is it, is it, is it, is it, is it, is it, is it, is it, is it, is it, is it, is it, is it, is it, is it, is it, is it, is it, is it, is it, is it, is it, is it, is it, is it, is it, is it, is it, is it, is it, is it, is it, is it, is it, is it, is it, is it, is it, is it, is it, is it, is it, is it, is it, is it, is it, is it, is it, is it, is it, is it, is it, is it, is it, is it, is it, is it, is it, is it, is it, is it, is it, is it, is it, is it, is it, is it, is it, is it, is it, is it, is it, is it, is it, is it, is it, is it, is it, is it, is it, is it, is it, is it, is it, is it, is it, is it, is it, is it, is it, is it, is it, is it, is it, is it, is it, is it, is it, is it, is it, is it, is it, is it, is it, is it, is it, is it, is it, is it, is it, is it, is it, is it, is it, is it, is it, is it, is it, those reshoots are a substantial amount of the film. Then there was all this weird stuff about

reviews being embargoed if they weren't any good. So people were, somebody reported that apparently they'd been told they were allowed to post on social media if they liked the film, but otherwise if it's a negative review, you're not allowed to do it until the embargo, which I think is lifting this morning that you're listening to, I hope it has.

So it kind of, As you'd expect from the production story of it, because there's been a lot of stuff in the press about it, it is a total mess of a film. It's all over the place and it doesn't have any of the charm, the thing that makes the John Wick movies what they are. Some of the John Wick movies were quite long. I never felt that they felt long. This does feel, I mean, there is an 80, there's a, probably a cracking 80 minute movie in that two hours and five minutes of stuff. On the plus side, Anna DiAlmas, I like very, very much that she was great and blonde. She gives it some welly in the lead role, lots of kind of ass kicking appeal, the ludicrous story about the bad place from which she came,

and then the thing about she has to become the killing machine that will do nothing, that will do the Terminator thing about she will never stop until all that stuff is fine. Also, the fact that so much of the film appears to have been reshot by Chad Stahelski, I hope I am pronouncing that right, he's very good. He knows what he's doing. And you kind of think, well, honestly, if it's him or Len Wiseman, I'll be fine. And some of the action sequences when they get going are crunchy fighty. I like the John Wick crunchy fighty stuff. There is, as I said at the beginning, that line about when you think of me, think of fire. And there is a quite entertaining showdown between a flamethrower and a hose, which is kind of fun. Do you remember in one of the John Wick movies, there's death by book?

Oh, I do remember that. Yeah. In this there's death by ice skate. And that's kind of inventive. And so there are things in it that because I like the John Wick fighty-crunchy-crashy, and I know that every now and then, and it is every now, it's sparse, that Keon-Anu will turn up and say something in those tones, and then he'll be on screen for a little bit, because they only had him for a couple of days, I presume, and then he goes off again. But it is a car crash of a film. It looks like it's been stitched together from a whole bunch of different bits. And I already, and I only saw it yesterday, I think it was yesterday, most of it has gone out of my head, except for individual bits in which somebody hit somebody with something

interesting in that kind of three stooges way. But what it doesn't have is that the John Wick movies got better and better and better as they went on to the point that I think, and I think you might think this as well, that the last one was actually the best of them. We really enjoyed it. Do you remember the upstairs, down the stairs, up the stairs, down the stairs?

I mean, that sequence was magnificent. And in my ladies chamber as well. And in my... That was... So what were they calling it? Oh yeah, John Chick apparently is what the kids on the street are calling it. I mean, it's punchy, crunchy, fighty, flamethrower hose, ice skatey, stabby, and then every now and then Keanu Reeves turns up and says something slowly.

And I like Anna de Armas, but it does look like a film that somebody just threw a bag of bits into a bucket and then threw them on the floor and went, there you go. Okay. Thank you. When you mentioned Flamethrower Hose, this thing popped into my head of, I know this isn't supposed to be blatant self-promotion, but when I first signed a book contract, it was with Random House, who are now Penguin Random House. There was an online conversation, I think Ian Rankin was involved somewhere.

I said to him, signed with, an abbreviation of house is HO full stop, right? So I just put, I'd signed with random hoe and he replied saying, I think you should probably reconsider who you've signed up with because that's a whole different world you're taking us in. Anyway, apologies for that. Bringing the tone down. Box office top 10, surprisingly starting at number 10, which is The Ballad of Wallace Island. Which I like very much. We reviewed it in take two. If you didn't hear the review in

take one, that's because it was in take two. This is all the more reason to become a subscriber because in the weeks in which there's a load of interesting movies out, some of those really interesting movies are going to be in take two, but I enjoyed this very much. It started life as a short film decades ago. You've probably seen the press because the actors and the director have been out doing the tour. Richard Curtis is a big fan. I can see why. It's very charming. Very, very charming. Stuart in North London says, Dear Peaches and Herb, this is a tiny marvel of a movie, just the perfect mix of happy, happy, sad, with its touching themes of lost youth, lost partnerships, and lives finally fulfilled through the redemptive power of music and friendship. And come the end, as the credits and my tears started to roll, and Herb's new songs

started to play, a remarkable thing happened. In total silence, the entire cinema, to a person, stayed in their seats, quietly absorbing what they'd just seen. No one spoke, no one moved, and it wasn't until the screen stopped scrolling that people gradually and still silently started to file out. Down with the usual and up with the usual and all the other stuff too. Thank you, Stuart Northland. It's also one of the cases in the case of that song, we once had a discussion about movies in which the movie finishes with the title of the film. You know, the last line of the movie is the title of the film. Well, the Ballad of Wallace Island finishes with the Ballad of Wallace

Island. That's what they're all listening to. Number nine is the Minecraft movie. Oh, sorry, a Minecraft movie. It's a Jack Black movie that happens to take place in the Minecraft universe. Sinners is at number eight. It's done very well, has really, really held its own and good for it. And it's very nice that we've had so many emails from people who've really enjoyed it. Thunderbolts at number seven and seven in America as well. Yeah. As I said, I didn't get very much out of it, but we've had correspondents from people who

got a lot more than I did out of it. And I'm just encouraged that people can find such depth and such empathy in films that to me didn't seem to have a lot going for it other than Florence Pugh. In Canada and America, the Phoenician scheme is at 13. We have it at number six. Yes. This is the sound of my teeth being on edge. Nice. Nasty. Is that it? Is that what you were saying? It's too Wes Anderson for me. There are people who love Wes Anderson. I think Mia Threepleton is very, very good in it, but I just, I found it impenetrable, but it appears to have been

absolute, what do you call it, Marmite. People have either really gone for it or really been annoyed by it, and I was annoyed by it. Final Destination Bloodlines, number four in Canada, number five here. One of the best of the Final Destination series, and just goes to show in exactly the same way as Bride of Chucky, that these things can produce oddly entertaining results when you're way past the point when you thought the series had any life in it at all. The salt path is at number four. Well, this is Jason Isaacs and Gillian Anderson in this adaptation of a book which so many

people have read. I was very privileged over the weekend that at New Lynn, Jason and Ray, the author of the book, did an onstage at the Newden Film House. And I think the performances are really, really great. And I think the story is pretty indestructible because it is such a universal chord. And it's definitely true that there are people coming to Cornwall to walk the salt path,

which is, you know, to walk the Southwest coastal path, which is a strange one. Again, that's another thing about the explanation of why it's called the Salt Path. I think that occurs fairly late on in the film. It does. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So I liked it very much. Do we have correspondence?

Yes. Stephen says, Dear Ray and Moth, Long-term list, the first-time emailer. Mum and I went to see the Salt Path last Friday at our local Cineworld Enfield. And oh my goodness, what an utter joy. Full of laughter and tears. What a contrast to the standard fare of generic blockbusters. From minute one, we experienced a heartwarming love story. He's got capital H, capital L, capital S.

Full of empathy and care through adversity and despair. With overwhelming and overflowing emotion, this fabulous movie reminded mom and I about our dearest dad, who we lost in 2020. Not for the first time mum could feel dad with her as we watched. Mum and dad were as close and loved each other as much as Ray and Moth. Dad was an amazingly special person and a huge Spurs supporter as am I." There you go. So Stephen proving that he's solid gold all the way through. What a lovely email. Thank you very much. Yeah.

So that's the salt path at number four. Karate Kid Legends at number three. I'm a sucker for Karate Kid movies. And as I said, I had terrible transport problems. My train was delayed by hours and hours and hours. And so I arrived in this screening in the worst of possible moods. And then I watched the Karate Kid Legends and it put a smile on my face and I enjoyed it. And it really lifted my mood for the rest of the day. Rachel in Edinburgh says, just out of a screening of Karate Kid Legends after recently watching the whole series

plus the tie-in show Cobra Kai, I went in with low expectations based on some reviews I'd seen and not much hype, but glad to say I was pleasantly surprised. Karate Kid Legends is a fun and charming family film that felt very 2000s in a good way. I was glad to see the return of the extremely well-funded and well-attended children's karate tournament, a staple of the franchise. While I wouldn't rate it as highly as Cobra Kai, I think it might be my favourite of the

Karate Kid movies. Excellent, good. And that's number three in the States. And number two in Canada and America is Mission Impossible Final Reckoning. It's the same here. And Simon says, what the Mission Impossible films are is an indicator what the producer, i.e. Tom Cruise, saw as the most promising trend in action cinema at the time of its making. That's why there is no continuity to speak of between the films, and this only slightly changes with Ghost Protocol. With this film, the series more or less settles for a tone, fun action romps that don't take themselves seriously, with a main character with no inner life to speak of whose main job is running and jumping.

From Ghost Protocol to Fallout, Mission Impossible were the Bond films, the Craig films weren't. With dead reckoning the filmmakers decided that Hunt suddenly needed a traumatic origin story, again copying what everybody else, including the Bond films, were doing. And now, with final reckoning, this trend towards backstory continues. The movie spends endless amounts of time with convoluted but ultimately completely pointless exposition, which either serves to turn Hunt into a kind of saviour figure, which he never was, or to retrospectively construct continuities between this film and earlier instalments. The really annoying thing is that all this stuff does not only have no real payoff, but it's also badly done. It's clunky storytelling,

bad editing, plain and simple. Anyway, so, but then he takes his clothes off and he's in his pants in a submarine. And then a little bit later on, he's hanging onto the side of a biplane. And they go, and that's what people are going for. Simon Spiegel sent that one. And the UK number one and the Canadian US number one is Lilo and Stitch. Steve in USK says, "'Good doctors, we took our five-year-old daughter to see Lilo and Stitch. Although classified a U,

it seems we underestimated the amount of mild peril in the film. Apparently watching it, my daughter was in absolute tears more than once, and especially during the scene where it seemed like Stitch, I don't know, Gl Stitch. This was her very brief review which, breaking the code, she gave whilst watching the film. You said it was

a good film, mummy. This is not a good film. Steve says, kids are different. I'm sure some five-year-olds will be fine with it, but mine wasn't. With this in mind, I'm also thinking I might have to delay showing ET to my daughter for at least another two or three years. She's a sensitive soul. I mean, it's a point that we've made a lot over the many years, over the 20 years and beyond. And that is it when it comes to particularly things like this. You're absolutely right. Some five-year-olds will have a problem with it and others will absolutely go see it and think it's fantastic and all kids are different. And I remember going to see Toy Story, the first one on my own, because it was a PG, to see whether my

very young child one was going to be able to cope with it. Because you think, why is it a PG? So some, absolutely. So generally it's a you, but you should be warned that for some kids it's too much. Well, it is worth saying that the BPFC advice says very mild threat, violence, and then it does say upsetting scenes. The thing with that phrase, upsetting scenes, is that it's a very big catch all phrase. But as you quite rightly said, parents will know better than anyone that there are things that can upset your children. I remember really clearly watching one of the Ice Age movies. And there is a scene in one of the Ice Age movies in which a series of

chickens are walking in a line across a volcanic landscape. And suddenly an eruption comes up from the floor. It happens very, very quickly. It's a passing gag. An eruption comes up from the floor, boom. And one of the chickens goes from being a chicken, goes up in the air and comes down looking like a roast chicken. Yeah. Child two, who is now a grown up and vegan adult as his child one was absolutely inconsolable. And it was, the gag lasts two seconds. A lot of people wouldn't even have seen it. The things that upset young people are very, very, parents probably know what they are to some extent. And I sort of kicked myself that it hadn't even occurred to me because it happened so fast. But they notice things and of course, they can get under their skin. So, I mean, thanks for the email. It does go to show that it is

perfectly possible for people to be very, very upset about things that you might not think are upsetting. Just before we move on, just looking at that chart. So Minecraft movie, Thunderbolts, Final Destination, Karate Kid, Mission Impossible, Lilo and Stitch, they are all big films, which I imagine cinema is very grateful for. And so that's seven movies in the top 10 that are huge. Will Barron They are also franchises. Lilo and Stitch obviously is a known commodity, Mission Impossible franchise, Karate Kid franchise, Final Destination franchise, Thunderbolts franchise. Yes, they're very big and it's

very good that people are coming in. Salt Path has done very well. It's a small movie. Saltpath is a small movie and it's in there between Karate Kid Legends and Final Destination Bloodlines. Certainly down here, where I am, the weather was pretty good over the weekend. So that's actually very good as well. Correspondence at Kermit and Mayo.com, back in a moment with clown in a cornfield and dangerous animals discussed in a moment. Back in a moment with clown in a cornfield and dangerous animals discussed in a moment. This is an advert for Shopify. Mark, do you remember when we started this podcast? I do. Plunging into a world of subscribers, ads, merchandise, a lot to get done, a lot of different hats to wear.

And hats to sell, of course. That's where the adhook comes in. For millions of businesses like ours, Shopify is the place to go for e-commerce. It's packed with AI tools for product descriptions, photography and page headlines, and others to help create social campaigns and emails. And best yet, Simon, best yet, Shopify has world-class expertise in everything from managing inventory to international shipping to processing returns and beyond. Turn your big business idea into big bucks with Shopify on your side. Sign up for your $1 per month trial and start selling today at Shopify.co.uk slash take. Shopify.co.uk slash take. Hi there Mark, do you know why hiring the right people quickly is so important?

Well the world of weekly film podcasts is so breakneck that when a vacancy comes up we need to fill it fast. Good thing that there's Indeed sponsored jobs then when it comes to hiring. Indeed is all you need. Stop struggling to get your job post seen on other job sites. Indeed Sponsored Jobs helps you stand out and hire fast. With Sponsored Jobs, your post jumps to the top of the page for your relevant candidates so you can reach the people you want faster.

According to Indeed data, Sponsored Jobs posted directly on Indeed have 45% more applications than non-sponsored jobs. So it makes a huge difference. Speed up your hiring right now with Indeed and listeners of this show will get a £100 sponsored job credit to get your jobs more visibility at Indeed.com slash KermodeMayo. Just go to Indeed.com slash KermodeMayo right now and support our show by saying you heard about Indeed on this podcast. Hiring Indeed is all you need. Prime membership. To start listening, download the Amazon Music app for free or go to amazon.com

slash ad free podcasts. That's amazon.com slash ad free podcasts to catch up on the latest episodes without the ads. Now, I don't know if you've logged onto your various social media, but I was sent something and you've been included on this as well from Martin Fitzgerald. Okay. On what platform? Okay. This is on Blue Sky.

Andrew Jacobs sent it to us and it originates from Martin Fitzgerald who says, unintentionally, the greatest advert for cinema I've seen. And it's a post from the Prince Charles Cinema, okay, which has been reviewed and it's a two-star review. And the quote is, a unique cinema experience for sure, but the downstairs screen is not great if you're not sitting on the front rows. More importantly, however, it's worth mentioning that some staff members act very snobbish, pretentious and uptight by playing fun police at the cinema. Absolutely unnecessary policing of people whispering to each other from time to time or taking out their phones, not even bright or noisy to text a couple of

times, which is not distracting to other watches at all happens in regular cinemas all the time. It isn't a huge deal and so on and so on. So that is a great ad for the Prince Charles cinema because that's the way they are. So therefore that's the cinema for us. I don't know whether you remember, but there was an advert that the Alamo Drafthouse put out some years ago of a customer ringing in to complain that they had been ejected from the cinema for texting, talking, doing all these things. They just literally took the voicemail message of this person just ranting at them and put

it on thing went, yeah, that's what we do. That's the one. Chris from Sligo in Ireland. Congratulations on reaching 20 years as a pod. Thank you for being a constant welcome companion throughout this time. I've listened since university back in 1993 in the Exeter equivalent of Tossel Flats. Oh dear. When Mark's Friday morning reviews were oh so important compared with lectures and seminars because this is Radio One time. This is obviously outside of our 20 years. We can do the maths, but Mark was doing like four minutes of film and then four minutes of video releases. Invention was required to follow the show when entering the world of work in 1997. A surreptitious transistor radio and earpiece was used at times, as was volunteering to monitor

Friday afternoon travel reports to help colleagues with their commute home. Then in early 2000s came the online radio player, which meant you could catch up at other times than Friday afternoon when internet dial-up was available. Surely this was as advanced as anything could get. Little did we know that audio downloads would be arriving to blow our collective minds. I remember Mark being incredulous most of the time in those days. For example, his reaction to James Boy King's quote on the poster for 2005's Elizabeth Town, which is, a place you won't forget and a movie you will fall in love with. To which Mark said, how much of a stinky cheese?

A very stinky cheese. I always loved hearing the guest navigate around the request to provide pithy comments on film, featured in that week's UK Top 10. Stephen Woolley was always entertainingly insightful. Then relatively unknown Ryan Reynolds was very game. In the days before the code, encouraging people to declare the death of narrative cinema at Ice Age 2 showings that were yes, that's true. All of that has happened in the past. That's very true.

Thank you, Chris. In Sligo. So much has changed. Yes. I like the fact that he says, I remember Mark being incredulous most of the time in those days. I think that's kind of stayed. It's just astonishing. I mean, honestly, if James King did indeed have a quote on the Elizabeth Towne poster that said something, you'll fall in love with it.

I mean, what was he thinking? That film was so terrible. It was so, so terrible. Dr. Simon Moralee, BA, MSc, PhD, LTL, third time emailer. Dear Steve, have loved the show since the beginning. My favourite memories that of Kip and the Birmingham underpass. It always brings a tear to my eye at the same time as making me laugh out loud at the sheer joy of it. I still think of Kip and his dad, Ed, who I know often writes in, loads more great memories, mostly involving Mark and Sex and the City, or Eat, Pray, Love, Vomit.

And well done, Simon, for holding it together for so long. I mean, that is essentially what my job is. Oh, and to the subs too, and I guess the redactor in chief. Up with everything good, notably Toby Jones, down with all the nasties. Toby Jones turns out, I've been watching this series on Paramount called Mobland. With Pierce Brosnan, Helen Mirren doing two of the worst Irish accents you've ever heard, which really they should know better, particularly because Pierce is Irish. Pierce Brosnan is Irish.

But it's got Tom Hardy and anyway, fantastic cast. And then the last two episodes, Toby Jones turns up, you go, there you go. Okay. Did you shout house? Or in your case, did you shout ho? Ho. Ho, ho. Now I think this will be Loughridge in Christchurch, New Zealand. I've just heard the most recent podcast and learned that you're celebrating 20 years of podcasting this week. I've been a colonial commoner since 2004. Prior to that, enjoyed listening to you on the radio as

I traveled up and down the country. I'm a similar age to you both and in many ways consider you both virtual brothers. I'd like to thank you for being there pretty much consistently through one thing and another. It's difficult to pick a highlight, but I must say I enjoyed you having Chuckles Branagh on the show. If there was to be a blot on the report card, it would be for the crews not stopping in Christchurch, New Zealand. Did we not? I thought we did. It was very brief, if you remember. There was an incident and we were told to leave.

We were told to leave, yeah. Paddy Considine is also in Mobland, which is other... Oh wow, I'm going to watch it. What platform is that on? It's on Paramount. Paramount. The first two episodes are directed by Guy Ritchie, but don't let that necessarily put you off. But it is exactly what you would imagine.

But the accents are just... Pierce and Helen really should do better. This is from Claire Vigars. This is an edited version. LTL FTE colonial commoner and member of clergy family corner. While there have been many, many occasions when I've considered writing to the show, I'm finally biting the bullet in celebration of 20 years of what I just referred to as the podcast. Which I like. You don't need to clarify, it's just the podcast. Like the band. Yes. Brain- just the band. Brain-wiring in response to your request for listener highlights, I realized that the podcast

has in fact been more memorable to me than most movies I've watched. Like some sort of surrogate parents, you've guided me through the most important chapters of my life from being a 12-year-old secretly listening on a fruit-based shuffling device in a Basingstoke bedroom all the way through to being a 30 something in Melbourne. Your Wittering has provided the soundtrack to my life. So loosely chronological, but we're chopping and changing here. Mark eviscerating a Pirates of the Caribbean movie. I can't remember which one.

I think that was the second one. For the first one, we had an argument. I quite liked it and you hated it. Then that was like a divisive thing. Then after that, they had an argument. I quite liked it and you hated it. And then it was, that was like a divisive thing. But then after that, they were all terrible. And I think it was the second one that you went crazy over. Mark Unleash is Michael Bolton impression for the first time. A metaphor that has been used multiple times over the years to make a point about a movie going up to 11t stupid and not coming down. This first assaulted

my ears when I was on the way to a maths exam. Benjamin Sneddell-Grass, the Entourage episode, a series of still images, every Tom Hanks interview ever. The Chadwick Boseman interview, astonishing for several reasons. Chadwick himself and the fantastically thoughtful responses he gave, and also because I was listening to the interview while cycling through central London and almost hit a man who stepped out into the road. It turned out to be Simon Mayer who gave an apologetic half wave. More stinky pants and lovely kip and everything about past lives and Celine Song. Just beautiful. As a recent transplant to a new country, not only the movie but also your interview with Celine Song reached into my soul and gave it a good squeeze. I'm sure other church members will have their own versions of this list

and their moments that still make them smile. If cinema is a machine for creating empathy, oh then it gets all yes, in all its forms, truly specials and you're great, blah blah blah. Send you money. Okay, that's good. That's Claire Vigors. Thank you. Correspondents coming around.com. Tell us about that clown in that there cornfield. Very quickly, quick PS. Firstly, you being run down by a cyclist listening to you would be absolutely not. What a way to go. What a way to go. Yes. And secondly, on the machine for creating empathy, when Jason came down here to New

London on Saturday night, he stayed with us here in the thing. He said, it's funny for somebody who talks a lot about machines for creating empathy, you've traveled an awfully long way to avoid your fellow man. Yeah. You don't like your fellow man. That's why. No, I love my fellow man. I love, but it's just I like this group of my fellow man. Anyway, Clown in a Cornfield, throwback splatter horror comedy, which at some point in it, someone says, it's like being in one of those nineties horror movies in the corn. And someone else says, what does that mean? And she says, it means I'm next.

So the poster says from the director of Tuck and Dale versus Evil, which is Eli Craig, and from the producer of Smile. So that's how, which is Eli Craig, and from the producer of Smile. That's how they're pitching it. That's the general area. Written by the director and Carter Blanchard, apparently based on a 2020 novel by, I don't know whether it's Cesar or Cesare or Cesar, C-E-S-A-R-E. But the author of the novel said that they wanted to do not so much a throwback slasher as an attempt at a very modern slasher, and a modern slasher with modern themes. It's a throwback slasher. So, it opens in 1991, a very jazzy sequence, in kids around the fire, drinking, carousing, young man, young woman,

they look at each other alluringly, they were a bit drunk, they run off into the corn and then they are predated because the film's called Clown in the Cornfield and so you can fill in the gaps. Fast forward many years- Does the clown entertain them with a series of tricks and surprise? There is a funny gag about having a very, very big footprint and then clown death ensues. So then Quinn, Katie Douglas and her recently widowed father, she's lost her mother obviously, moved to Kettle Springs, which is in the middle of nowhere. She hates the place. She hates the fact that her dad has brought her there. She goes to school and she falls in with a group of school kids who spend their time making pranky videos about Frendo the Clown. Frendo the Clown, who was

the symbol of Baypen corn syrup. This is the sort of the thriving industry of the town and whom they are now playing up as a gag. Or are they? Here's a clip. This is what I wanted to show you. Isn't it cool? Yeah, it is really cool. Where did you get it from? I'm OG Kettle Springs, baby. I got all kinds of stuff. Does it work? Try it. They're really big on tradition around here. Every year there's this parade where everyone gathers around a friend of lot. Friend of?

It's the clown on all the Bay Penn corn syrup labels. He's practically a local legend. But as we know from the opening, there is real clowny death in the cornfield and it's only a matter of time before spoofy videos meet real-life splatter. The film revolves around kids making pranky horror shorts. That's pretty much the tone of the piece. It's very much in the same ballpark as something like Happy Death Day, although I have to say it's not as good as Happy Death Day, which I really did enjoy.

Clowns and the word is chorlrophobia, isn't it? Coulrophobia, fear of clowns. Coulrophobia is fear of clowns. Standard horror fare. Frendo isn't on a par with, for example, either of the iterations of It, which I know that we'll get to later on in the show in which we talk about people's favorite clowns. But there are a couple of good gags, the gag about it being like in a 90s horror movie. There are a couple of nicely revisionist surprises.

So there were a couple of things that happened in the film that wouldn't have happened in this kind of film many years ago and that's kind of quite nice. There's a running gag about the age gap between the insufferable teenagers and the insufferably conservative and up themselves adults. Karen Durand, Arthur Hill. There's quite a lot of splatter in it, but it's entirely good-natured, entirely unthreatening, heavy on the awful, low on the viciousness. I went to the BBFC rating and it says, strong bloody violence,

gore, horror language, frequent violence and jump scares are delivered with a darkly comedic edge. 15, again, we were talking before about, it's amazing 15 year olds today don't know they're born because this is the kind of thing which had this turned up on video in 1984, the DPP would have been all over it. There was one thing that was interesting about it

when we came out of it, and I quite enjoyed it. It's not great. It's very unmemorable. It's the kind of thing. I remember once going to the Scala to see an all-nighter of slasher movies. Some of those sort of retro slasher movies, I think it was seven films back to back. Wow. Yeah, but it's what the all-nighters were like. And one of them was a birthday thing. It wasn't a happy birthday to me, but it similar to that. This is the kind of thing which had, if this played as the third film in that series you probably would have stayed awake but if it had played as the

fifth, sixth film you might well have slept through it. But it came out and had a very heated discussion with two other critics about the fate of one significant character. And we couldn't tell whether we couldn't agree on the fate of him because either the film storytelling wasn't very good, or they had to do a reshoot in which that actor wasn't available. So they got another actor to wear the clown head, or it's specifically ambiguous, because there's going to be another one coming down the pipe. So what was interesting was there was three of us and three of us had three different versions of what had

happened and we couldn't tell whether it was a teaser or just a bit of bad filmmaking. But look, the film is called Clown in a Cornfield. You know the film that that conjures up? clown in a cornfield. You know the film that that conjures up? That's what it is. It is exactly that film. It's kind of goofy. Yeah, it's kind of goofy, but it's not scary. But because it's not really meant to be scary. It's meant to be sort of retro throwback. And, and, and it's, I, whilst it was on, I enjoyed it enough. Although it's a bit of a mess. By the time we get to next week, I'll remember nothing about it. It's the ads in a minute, Mark. God bless them.

And don't fast forward too, because they're interesting. Anyway, it's time once again to step into our laughter lift. So it's a very lovely thing. It's not very good really. But anyway, hey, Mark, I've just been reading up on some key crime stats. Yes. Did you know that in the UK someone gets burgled every 106 seconds? I didn't. Poor bloke. I mean that must get really boring. No time to do anything else other than just get burgled. Can't even make himself a cup of tea in between. There we go again. Mark, did you know that Vin Diesel has only two meals a day? I didn't. He has breakfast and he has Breck Furious. Works written down and he definitely eats both of them with his family. You know who woke up with a mixing bowl and a wooden spoon this morning. Oh, Breckfast and Breck Furious, fine.

You see, if I say he has Breckfast and Breck Furious, no one says Breckfast, so therefore it's written gag as opposed to it might've been. I had to type it out on the computer. Oh, I see. Break fast and furious. Yeah. So anyway, back to you, Simon. You know who woke up with a mixing bowl and a wooden spoon this morning?

No. Oh, dear. I said, rough night. How did you know? She said you were stirring in your sleep, I said. Yeah. So basically it started at a high point with the one guy getting burgled every yes And then six seconds then it went to one which only worked if it was written down

Yes, and then it ended with that which is of such C-C me Simon pool has something to say apparently. Poor delivery. Okay, well, how did you know she said you were stirring in your sleep? Was I supposed to say it in a different accent? What was I supposed to do with that? You were stirring in your sleep. Which no one ever says anyway. I think the material had the best of you. Yes. Anyway, apologies.

What we do next? Dangerous animals. After this, unless you're a Vanguard Easter, in which case we just roll on. ["The Big Game Show Theme"] Are you crushing your bills? Defeating your monthly payments? Sounds like you're at the top of your financial game.

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Muskoka or down Toronto's bustling streets. From now until June 30th, lease a 2025 Volvo XC60 from Okay, so before we conclude and do some more stuff, we've got the box office top 10 from 2005. So this is the top 10 from our first podcast. So obviously we've been doing this thing for a while, as for later rivals, we did some Radio 1 in the 90s, and then Five Live from 2001. It was just on the radio and then someone invented the podcast and we became a podcast without us actually realising we were a podcast. But from the first pod release, this is the top 10. Okay. So this is from 20 years ago.

Number 10, a good woman with Helen Hunt, Scarlett Johansson. Johansson. Scarlett, of course it is. I correct everybody all the time. Why did I? Johansson. Scarlett Johansson. It may have been that at the time that we did this, we were still saying Johansson because we didn't start saying Johansson until you were corrected by your man from Amor Asante's film. Do you remember that bell?

I do. Yes. And, uh, that's right. So, so if I say Johansson, it's just because I hadn't been corrected. So that's right. I'm just being, so this is like authentic. I was just being authentic. Uh, I don't remember corrected. So this is like authentic. I was just being authentic. I don't remember a good woman. The Amityville Horror was at number nine.

Because it really needed remaking with Ryan Reynolds, who at that point wasn't Ryan Reynolds. No, not really. Number eight is XXX to the next level. I think we should revisit the Break Fast and break furious joke at this point this with the next i was directed by Lee Tamahori. No no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no the jacket. I remember saying in my review- What's that about? I don't remember the jacket. It's a really sort of weird, not quite science fiction, but like transportative thriller. It's a really odd movie. Adrian Brody is very good in it. I remember thinking that it was quite brave of Keira Knightley to try it. It doesn't work and it's sort of flopped, but I kind of liked it. But yeah, anyway, I hadn't thought about it in many a year. The wedding date is at number six. I hadn't thought about it in many a year, although I see Dermot Mulrooney in the cast

list and I was probably on the poster he was leaning against something because he was a bit of a Matthew Mahogany at that point. If he gave him something, he would lean against it. Number five is The Interrupterer. That's how I used to see it. The Interrupter, the Sidney Pollock film. Yes, this is not one of Sidney Pollock's best. I think at that point we were referring to Nicole Kindling. I think that was around about the time of Nicole Kindling. Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy at number four. And this is a shame because I like Garth Jennings as a director, but he made a complete

Horlicks of Hitchhiker's Guide. And the main problem with Hitchhiker's Guide was that it took all the little curlicues out because it was a two-hour movie. And they completely messed up the Babel Fish. They absolutely messed up the Babel fish because they did the setup about the Babel fish being put in your ear, but they didn't do the whole thing about the non-existence of God. So it was like, it was a mess. It was a sorry mess, which was a real shame. Kingdom of Heaven, the Ridley Scott film with Orlando Bland and Liam Neeson was at number three. Yes, I am absolutely told that the director's cut

of Kingdom of Heaven is a lot better than Kingdom of Heaven, Kingdom of Heaven that was released in cinemas. But I remember saying that Orlando Bloom looked, when he was in his most fierce in the film, looked like somebody whose cappuccino had been delivered with slightly too little froth on it. That's all I remember. An email from Alan Lynchahorn in Edinburgh. For your 2005 box office top 10, can I share

my thoughts on Kingdom of Heaven? I saw it in the cinema when it was released, came out and scoffed. Then later in the year, I saw it had come out on DVD and thought, was it actually that bad? I was wrong. I kept watching it over and over. I bought the soundtrack and it helped get me through late night cramming sessions at university. Then the Director's Cut was released. As Ridley Scott mentions in the introduction, it wasn't elongated entrances and exits.

It was character development and a criminally cut plot involving Sibylla, played by Evergreen's son. Yes, it has issues. The film struggles in the final act. Bloom just couldn't shoulder being the lead, but this film has given me so much enjoyment and I'm so glad I gave it a second chance. For 20 years now, every time I start a new notebook, the first thing I write on the first page or inside cover is the pledge of the night from the film, which is, be without fear in the face of your enemy, be brave and upright that God may love thee. Speak the truth always, even if it leads to your death. Safeguard the helpless and do no wrong. That is your oath. I mean,

I'm down with most of that, but speaking the truth if it leads to your death, I'm kind of thinking, well, I might lie in that case. And of course, this is the only film in the top 10 where we can say hello to Jeremy Irons. Hello, Jeremy Irons. Thank you for all that Wittertainment is and has become. Amen. Hello to Jason Isaacs. Anyway, so there you go, Kingdom of Heaven.

Watch the director's cut and be impressed. Very good. Number two, Monster in Law. Which I think Jane Fonda had fun with, as I remember. Here's what's most remarkable, is that this is a pretty unremarkable chart, except for what's at number one, which is… Star Wars Episode III, Revenge of the Sith. And if you're a regular listener, you will know that on take… was it take two or was it in take one? Just quite recently, we revisited Revenge of

the Sith because it was back in cinemas. And although I still have grave reservations about it, I had a long conversation with Child 2, who did a very good job of explaining to me, there is a generational thing involved in here that our generation grew up being told that we weren't allowed to like the prequels, but this was, you know, this was. Again, there is the central problem that Hayden Christensen, in the same way that Orlando Bland can't carry Kingdom of Heaven. Hayden Christensen isn't very good in Revenge of the Sith, but I think it is a much more interesting film than I gave it credit for the first time around. I don't like it particularly, but I do understand that an old man, a 62-year-old man, having not much fondness for it is very different to a 20-something-year-old

young man going back to see it in the cinema because it was one of the touchstones of their childhood. So that was 2005. Let's fast forward 20 years and something that's out this week. Let's go fast forward 20 years and also back 50 years. So 50 years ago, almost exactly we're at that period, Jaws is released. Jaws makes Sharks, cinema's scariest predator and pretty much invents the summer blockbuster. So we're in the 50th anniversary of Jaws around about this period. Ever since then, we've had films that have attempted to kind of one-up Jaws with bitey underwater adventure. So do you remember there was a film in 1977 called Orca Killer Whale? I know it's a whale, not a shark,

but it was absolutely marketed as this is more terrifying than Jaws because the only other, according to the thing on the poster, the only other animal, the man that seeks vengeance is Orca the Killer Whale, although there's a Jaws movie that contradicts that. Then in 1978, you have Piranha, little bitey piranhas, and Universal actually considered getting an injunction against Piranha because they were doing Jaws 2 at that point and they didn't want to open against each other. But then they saw Piranha and they went, okay, that's fine. Then since then, we've had Deep Blue Sea, which is genetically altered sharks, which are smarter and more dangerous than Austin Powers gold member sharks

with laser beams, and Bait 3D, which you have sharks in a shopping mall, and Open Water, in which you've got Blake Lively on a rock being terrorized by a shark, and then the Meg and the biggest shark, Evs, and then the Meg II, more of the biggest shark, Evs. Now, having pretty much exhausted all the sharky possibilities, and 50 years on from Jaws, dangerous animals. The tagline for dangerous animals is, you're safer in the water.

And the gimmick is that this time, the sharks aren't the nastiest predators around. So basically, as I said at the top of the show, this is a film designed for anyone who ever thought, I like that Jaws, but the problem is, it doesn't have enough sadistic serial killers in it. So ladies and gentlemen, I give you Jaws for the Revenge meets Wolf Creek.

This is directed by Sean Byrne, who made Devil's Candy from a script by Nick Leppard. The tagline is discover a new species of killer. So, okay, not just the sharks. More accurately, however, discover two very old species of killers that you've seen in lots and lots of different movies, but just probably not together in the same movie.

At the center of it, Jay Courtney, who is, I have to say, unrecognizable. I was half an hour into the film before I realized it was him. He is this beery, boarish, beardy character called Tucker who runs a diving with sharks business that preys on rich tourists, sticks them in a cage and puts them in the water. And the opening scene has two such unfortunates signing up for the thrill of a lifetime experience, only to discover that he has

plans for shark bait. We then cut to a surfer, a very sort of independent surfer, Hasse Harrison, who has a brief in the back of her van fling with this guy called Moses, before heading off to beat the surfing crowds, getting there early, and then she wakes up. And the next thing is she's in handcuffs on a boat with one of the people that we met in the opening scene. And Tucker, who was bitten by a shark some time ago, does a lot of sub-quint from Jaws rambling and raving about the philosophy of shark attacks and seems to be locked in some deeply unhealthy relationship with the predator, with whom he is fascinated and somehow in love in a very Quinty way.

Here's a clip. They don't understand the hierarchy of animals in this world. They don't think with their brains. They think with their guts. And what your guts understand is 300 razor sharp teeth. Tearing flesh from bone. She sounds a little bit disappointed with life. Yes, disappointed with life. Well, that's okay because it's not going to be a problem for long. Jaws was terrifying, but it was also oddly kind of wholesome in as much as it was a character drama. There's a lot of stuff about the way in which they changed the characters

from the Peter Benchley novel, because the general feeling was that the characters in the Benchley novel were very unpleasant and there's all the stuff with Hooper having the affair with Ellen Brody. This isn't wholesome. For a start, it swaps Quint essentially for the impressively loathsome Tucker and I have to say he is loathsome. And then Hooper and Brody get swapped for a kind of final girl and an accidental hero. It has a moment that is very clearly inspired by the death of Chrissie at the beginning of Jaws, which is the most terrifying sequence in Jaws, the opening when we already refer to that in Clown and the Cornfield. There's a moment when there's the two kids around the campfire, they go off into the thing and then they get predated. Well, there is a sort of throwback to

that first death in Jaws, although this time made a lot more nastier because it has an added element of human sadism and voyeurism. In a way, this has got the same sort of exploitation ethos that Piranha has. It's worth remembering that when Jaws came out, it was an A certificate movie, which meant that a 12-year-old me could go and see it. Piranha was an ex. This is 15. Now, it's 15 for strong, bloody violence, gore, threat, language, sex, and drug misuse. Although I have to say, this is a borderline 18. I mean, I was actually kind of surprised that it wasn't 18 because there is lots of suffering. There is lots of dismemberment. There is lots of young women being tortured, and then there is something unspeakable involving a thumb. There's also, hilariously in the BBFC thing, the BBFC description, it says,

also a strong sex scene features vigorous riding detail. Which I thought, what, is there somebody on a horseback? Sorry, can I just say, is that vigorous scene to which you refer anything to do with the thumb? No, no, it's not. Simon Mayo. Well, I was just wondering where the thumb? No, no, no, no, the thumb is not involved in the vigorous riding detail. Jay Courtney is very convincingly horrible as Tuckett. There is a scene that's in the trailer in which he dances drunkenly in a way that's very sort of tooth fairy from Silence of the Lambs. Hasse Harrison, who you may well know from Yellowstone, has got a lot of fierce Blake lively energy as Zephyr, presumably her sisters

are called Zodiac and Dolomite. And it's well-made and it's tense. And afterwards a critic said to me, he said, well, that was fun. I said, but it's really nasty. I mean, it is really nasty. And it's a strange thing because bear in mind, I'm a horror fan, I very much like Binkso, but there is a really nasty streak to dangerous animals. I then spoke to somebody else who would actually really, really dislike the film because

they thought it was essentially Jaws reimagined as torture porn, which I don't think that's fair to it. And I think it will do pretty well. It is distressing, it's well-made. Jai Courtney is convincingly horrific, but it has got a really, really nasty edge to it, and which was much nastier than I had suspected. And as I said, when I saw it, if you'd said to me afterwards, what certificate is that?

I would have put money on it being an 18. I return to what I said before, 15 year olds today don't know they're born. Correspondence at Kermit and Mayo.com, before we go, Tina in Trinidad, California. Congratulations on 20 years. I have these absolute favorite memories. Firstly, hysterically, is Mark giving his best Jared Leto ridiculous Italian accent in performance, which featured on a regular basis? Next, absolutely anything to do with Tom Hanks or Kenneth Chuckles' Branagh. Cheers. Praise redacted, Tina. Thank you very much.

Correspondents at comedamaio.com, that is the end of take one. This has been a Sony Music Entertainment production. This week's team, Jem, Eric, Josh and Heather. Producer is Jem. Did I mention Jem twice? There's Jen in there as well. The redactor is Simon Paul. If you're not following the pod already, please do so wherever you get your podcasts. Mark, what is your film of the week? Mark Willis Well, it's a strange week. My film of the week, although I have to put an advisory with this, of all of the films that we've reviewed, the best one is Dangerous Animals, but it is a very nasty film of the week. Okay. Thank you. We have been warned. Take two has landed adjacent to this here podcast.

More 20 years of glory, obviously scattered throughout that. Thank you very much for listening.