Kermode & Mayo’s Take - Alicia Vikander Bullet Train, Irma Vep, The Harder They Come (reissue)

Episode Date: August 5, 2022

Simon and Mark talk to Oscar winning Swedish actress Alicia Vikander about her new role in the highly meta series ‘Irma Vep’ - created by Olivier Assayas. Mark reviews the star-studded ensemble  action/thriller ‘Bullet Train’, the reissue of the cult classic ‘The Harder They Come.’ - featuring music by and starring Jimmy Cliff, and Irma Vep – about Mira, an American movie star who is disillusioned by her career and recent breakup, so comes to France to star in a remake of the French silent classic, “Les Vampires.” Exclusive! Grab the NordVPN deal ➼ https://nordvpn.com/take Try it risk-free now with a 30-daycare  money-back guarantee! You can contact the show by emailing [e-mail] or you can find us on social media, @KermodeandMayo.   A Somethin’ Else & Sony Music Entertainment production. Find more great podcasts from Sony Music Entertainment at sonymusic.com/podcasts To bring your brand to life in this podcast, email [e-mail] Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Trying to escape the holiday playlist. Well, it's not gonna happen here. Jesus' season for a vacation Fa la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la With sunwing seasons of savings on now, why not ditch the cold and dive straight into sun? Visit your local travel agent or... Sunwing.ca Something that's... What happens in this first bit?

Well, this is the first bit. Sorry. And this first bit is full of jolly baddened art. Oh, OK, jolly baddened art. Which page is that all? You're already lost. We haven't started. I know, but we're on page six.

I love the fact that there is... One of these is crossed out. It's like we've already abandoned one of them already. So we're on page six. There's a slight kind of looser feeling already because this is the last show before the cruise. Obviously your takes will continue to come on a regular basis and you'll be surprised by all the bonus stuff that's coming your way, but we are heading off on the cruise. It is summer holiday time. You know it's like that thing at the end of term, remember these do these in your school that thing at the end of term.

Have you used to do this in your school? When the last day of term, you're allowed to wear your own clothes and bring in a game. Yeah, Muffede. Muffede. Yeah, Muffede. And you... That's a military term that was in Muffede. So in Muffede means like in civis.

Yeah, you can wear your own clothes. But often is back when Giles 1, 2 and 3 were actually in school. like in civis. Yeah, you can wear your own clothes, but often is back when child's one, two, and three were actually in school, you had to take money for comic relief or something like that. Okay, five. So it was one of those. But yeah, some teachers would happily go along with

letting you play a board game, but others would do it very, very reluctantly. They really, really didn't want you to, you know, not be studying Latin to the very, very last minute as the behaviour. I never did Latin. I never did Latin. I never studied Latin.

I did a term. And how was it? Over heaven's sake. Yes, it's your phone. Who is it? Child 2. Right, take it on speaker. Okay, all right, I'm going to do that.

Child 2. Oh, hey. Hey, we're actually recording. I'm gonna do that. Child two. Hey, we're actually recording, you're actually, Mark said, put it on speaker. Hello, Child two. Hi Mark, how's it going? Have you got anything to say for posterity? This is actually on the podcast.

So tread carefully. Not really, go see Albert Spatula. Okay, very good. He raised her well. Talk to you later. Okay, sorry about that. Hey, but it's content. It's it's actual content. That's what it is. Solid gold. She'll send an invoice though. Absolutely. Yeah, because that was voice outtaste work, wasn't it? Yeah, absolutely was. Are we any closer to establishing, by the way, who you're supporting for the conservative leadership? I thought you'd probably say that. Catlin Moran in the paper a few days ago described the battle to be prime minister is two raptors fighting over a dawn op. How I thought that was particularly good. So, the round does have a wonderful turn of phrase. That is very true. But thanks for the update on your thinking. So, yeah, a little bit of a loose show as we're packing our bags, but there

are some things, some genuine content which we have paid for. For example, Mark, what are you, what are you going to be doing? I'm going to be reviewing all the week's essential releases. Yes. Bullet train. Oh. Now, how was there a pause there between essential releases and bullets?

It's an odd week. Okay, so there's bullet train. There's the reissue of the heart of they come, which is celebrating an anniversary. And a ermovep, which brings us to our very, very special guest. Yes, who is the fabulous... I was going to say Anna Karenina. Wow!

Yes, she looks fantastic. Yes, we have the star of erm, a VEP, who is Alissa Vikander, hasn't been on... What, she hasn't spoken to us since Lara Croft. That was the last one. Well, that makes it sound worse. She hasn't spoken to us since Lara Croft. That's why it's so funny. We had this huge, huge fight?

But anyway, top star, Alissa Vikander, is going to be talking to you on Take One, and also, as if to. And as if that wasn't enough. Oh, yes, on Monday. For the Vanguard, another extra take in which you'll hear more Alissa Vikander, a fact that I've just said,

and now we're repeating it for no extra money at all. I know because I have read out the end as if that wasn't enough thing, which I do every week. It's not like it's a surprise. It's here every week. Expanding your horizons with one frame back, inspired by Emma Vep, asking you for your favourite vampire movies, please don't write in and say it's not really a vampire thing. And it's also not a movie, but you know, we just, we know, we just going, to understand. Your suggestions for great streaming stuff we would like to hear from you, correspondents at CurbinAmand.com. We'd just like to, but you've got anything. Yeah.

Please do sign up for our premium value extra takes to dig into all that stuff. You can access all the extra stuff through Apple podcasts or if one prefers a different platform, then you should head to extratakes.com. If you're already a Vanguardista, as always, thank you very much for subscribing. Because remember, more Alicia Vikander is always better. I think that's absolutely right, and you'll hear more with Alicia in Take One,

and then some extra bonus stuff in Take Two. And all the good stuff is in Take Two. Is that right? I think it's all good. It's all good. It's all good. It's all me in take to. Ted says, my dear gentleman, heritage listener, here reporting in from Minneapolis, Minnesota, to express my gratitude for your

witterings. There's a word. And to introduce one of the newest members of the congregation, my son and first born, Killian, whom my wife, Taylor, heroically brought into this world less than 36 hours ago, as I write. And he's already writing to the... That's right, he's got time on his hands. Wow, not much to do. As a matter of fact, yours is the first podcast or program of any kind, this little fellow is absorbing in his new tiny little life. And he really is absorbing it. I mean, you can tell, can't you, when your newborn child possesses, who superior intellect.

Yes, Ted, and I'm sure Killian is super bright and very, very good looking. You can just tell. This is a helpful and worthwhile distraction for him from the day-to-day toils of this modern life. In fact, it truly has helped to soothe us both this evening. Perhaps for his first trip abroad, we'll see you on the next cruise. Too late for this one, but maybe next year. We'll be calling in at minute. We'll make sure we'll add Minneapolis, Minnesota immediately to our next cruise. Do we have a minimum age for the cruise?

You have to be a day. Okay, very good. In which case, you're fine. Thank you for all you do, says Ted, tickety-tongued down with nationalists and those of that ilk, we say, live from any app. Those of that ilk is definitely a damn with this sort of thing, isn't it? It is. John Morrison, our LA correspondent, well, that's what he calls himself, on the subject of lacrimosity. So ingrained is the emotional response to the railway children. Daddy my daddy oops, oops sniff, there I go again. The mere discussion of the film is enough to bring it on. So even your review of the railway children return, along with the interview the excellent Sheridan Smith, was a roller coaster of welling up, swallowing

and eye rubbing. What's more, I was at sea level at the time, so I can't even blame altitude. Is there a cure for this? If there's a cure for this, I don't want it, I don't want it. I love hangover. Yeah. Diana Ross. Very good, very good. I find San Luis Torló, Diana Ross, but I just recognize the lyric. It was my Terry Jones being a woman, boys. It was. Is there a curiousness, John? Well, I find thinking about a film that's so bad, I died a thousand deaths on that hill.

So say Pearl Harbor, for example, is a good start, but all other suggestions, gratefully received. So what John is looking for is terrible films to think of when you want to control your emotional reaction to a movie, but what do you think of? Well, anything from the if the Michael Bay, obviously, we'll do the case.

There's probably a bunch of, I mean, Danny Dyer's run for your wife. That'll always put a straight face. I mean, pedal harbors, not a bad suggestion. Well, harbors is a very poor film, isn't it? I think that's the point. Yeah, that's what I'm saying. Yeah. I wasn't saying the other way. I'm saying, you can think of any of those other ones

including Run for Your Wife. How about John Carter of Mars? Of Mars? You know it's not called John Carter of Mars, so I'm just saying that. But that's a good thing, okay, so. But it's not just a bad film, it has to be about a film that is so bad.

I'll tell you what, the thing that would work for me is, there's a film by Bella Taco, the man from London. And it's a big art house classic. It's the slowest moving film of all time. And I saw it in Cannes, and there is a scene in which the camera pans along the side of a ship. And the scene is so long that it started, I fell asleep, woke up, and it was still going. Still panning.

It's a very, very long ship. It's an Andy Warhol-esque overtake. Chris in Lausanne did Notre Dame a Notre-Homme. That's clever. After hearing that the French title for Notre Dame on fire is Notre Dame brûlée, sounds like a dessert. I've been corrected. Okay, I thought you might also like to know that the French title for light year is Buzz

Lake Claire, which gave me the same thought when I swore. That sounds like quite a nice, a fancy thing. I have a Buzz Lake Claire. What were you corrected on? Yes, so Jenny Nelson, the brilliant producer at Scalar Radio, who produces both you and me, for which she should receive a medal, at least. Pointed out to me, it's not called Notre Dame Broulai. It's called Notre Dame Broull, because there is no acute on the ears of single ear.

I said, well, what's the difference? She said Notre Dame Broulai would be Notre Dame burned. Notre Dame Broull is burning. Burning. I said, well, what's the difference? She said, not should arm brulee would be not should arm burned. Not should arm brule is burning. Burning. Okay, so is present continuous. Present tense, yeah. Okay.

Not should arm brulee is funnier. Yeah. Never let the truth get in the way that can. We're a good gig, exactly. That's the same. And buzz like Claire is fantastic. And we're going to do it, we should say by the way,

because of the crews and because of the timetables, because school's out for summer. Yeah. We are going to do, we've got a top 10 coming up in just a moment. Yes. It's not related to anybody, it's just a top 10. And the top 10 hasn't happened yet, because we're pre-recording this in order to go away and pack our bags.

So we're actually February the 3rd. At the moment, and it's six o'clock in the morning. Yeah, you know, I'm sure nothing of any significance is going to happen this year. Martin says, dear daddy, my daddy and old gentleman, I am writing in response to hearing Sheridan Smith on your program telling you that you quote, you can't remake the railway children as she explained. That's why they made a sequel. I have no problem with anyone making a sequel remake the railway children, as she explained. That's why they made a sequel. I have no problem with anyone making a sequel to the railway children, whether this one is any good,

is a separate question. There is no reason why it shouldn't be possible to make a great sequel. However, the fact that the 1970 railway children is a self-loved film doesn't mean it should be protected from reappraisal. I recently rewatched it to consider whether I could show it to my children who are 6 and 8 years old. Unfortunately, I decided that I couldn't. There was no way that I could see them sitting down and watching the whole way through. The main issue is the pacing, it's just too slow, and they would have got bored before the children even make it to Yorkshire. By the way, there there was some wonderful, in the Burnard Kribbins obitories in the last few days,

there were some wonderful shots of him announcing the actual railway station and some great stills from the, from the, from the, I think they would take from the tele, but it was a lovely, it was some lovely shots and some great Burnard Kribbins material. And also, I mean, he was, he was so great in Doctor Who as well. There were all those gifs of him in Doctor Who, and he, yeah, a total edge.

Anyway, sorry Martin, I've interrupted your thing. So before you make it to Yorkshire, but there was also something I couldn't quite pin down about the style of shooting that made it seem too old-fashioned and not accessible enough. Clearly, it is a period story with suit to be period clothes and speech, but that's not the problem. I'd compare it with the 1993 version of the Secret Garden. But is it Agnieszka Holland? Agnieszka Holland. Agnieszka Holland. That's also a period drama based on a classic novel, but it's aged much better. My children have seen it and liked it, and I suspect it will look just as

good in another 20 years. I'm not sure exactly where the railway children hasn't aged as well, but it's a shame because the story is of, of course, are classic, and all of us who've read the book or seen the film over the years have fond memories of the emotional state it left us in. Children's stories, myths and fairy tales have always been retold for a new generation, as language and media change just as Shakespeare gets a different interpretation every time it is restaged. There's actually no reason why the railway children cannot be remade lovingly and faithful to the original story, but in a style that will engage 21st century children so that they too will find that a little smoke has gotten their eyes by the end. Not all classics need remaking.

If it's perfect, like Mary Poppins, then leave it well alone, but please, let's not consider all classics untouchable by definition. Martin signs off, Hello to Jason and Down with Dr. Beeching, which is a first, I think, but relevant to this particular story. Can I add two things? The first one is that the Secret Garden was one of the films that I included in that list of 25 best films for children that I did for the observer. Some years ago, I've referred to quite a lot.

The second thing is on the subject of the railway children aging, I mean I think Lionel Jeffries version of the railway children, which is itself as we know not the first screen adaptation of the railway children, or not indeed even the first screen adaptation of the railway children to feature Jenny Aguita. I think it's brilliant. I think Jeffery's masterpiece is the amazing Mr. Blondon. And I don't agree with the pacing issue. I think the pacing of the railway children

is as it should be. But then again, I'm a 60 year old man. So I do. Well, here's the thing. Martin, you may well be right about your children, because you know your children. Yeah, exactly. So I think you should show your children six and eight funny names,

but anyway, you should sit them down. Well, test your theory. So by the time we come back from the... Why don't you show them the original railway children? And you may well be right on what you say, but equally, they might surprise you and find it a thoroughly engaging and wonderful film. Yeah, yes, yes. Martin, that's your homework. You've got until, well, you've got a few weeks and you can watch it with them and that will

be an absolute treat. And maybe they could, maybe they could write in as well. Maybe you could curate an email between you so the fact that they can do a show, then we can take three weeks off. They can literally do a whole show. I'm getting insecure now. Okay, so box office top 10, we don't have the box office top 10. So you know how when you went on holiday, I used to make a cassette of stuff to listen to on holiday. Put it in the car, when you're driving through the French countryside, are you popping the cassette and it's gotten automatically gets mangled. Yeah. And then you spend the rest of the week pulling the little

piece of tape out of the. So here is our summer holiday top 10. Hooray! We nothing to do the box office, but we're calling it the summer holiday box office top 10 playlist. We just made this up. Yes. Okay. Number 10 summer holiday. Fantastic. And you know when summer holiday opened? In the summer. Of course. Yes. Of course. Unistubs with their side kick. And number nine, Mary Poppins, practically perfect in every way. And number eight, Great Escape. Oh, wow. Okay, I just played some music from the greatest scapegolder, although because we're now going through a time warp, that was a show

that I pre-recorded for when we were away. All right. So I don't know whether I have played it yet. Well, I think I've played it. Yeah, the greatest escape. I think I've played the music from it, but I might not have, yes, I'm a warp in the time space continuum. Number seven, Amadeus. Amadeus. Who's? Amadeus, Amadeus. No, who's? Rock me Amadeus. No. Rock me Amadeus. Where was he from, Falco? Falco.

Oh, Falco. Falco was a golfer. He still is a golfer. You'll think he was Nick Falco. Falco is his past, who's leftist now. Austrian, I think. And he did yes. He did rock me amadass. Rock me amadass.

Did he have any other hits? Yes, he did a song called De Comissar, which was a small hit, but also a hit for after the fire who had a hit with De Comissar as well. And actually was a big hit in America and turns up in a movie as well. How did it go? Don't turn around, oh, the, the commissars in town.

Uh, oh, oh. Who rings it? Who's the commissar? It's a mysterious commissar. Is it the commissar, the bloke in the hotel who gets on the line that goes? Alice Clar, here commissar. Which is obviously mysterious.

So that is all is clear, not Alice Clar, Miss Alice Clark. There's nothing to do with her. Okay. Anyway, and also there's nothing to do with Amadeus. Amadeus, the great Amadeus come from. That's what he does, how he sings it. No, he goes, excuse me. He goes, Amadeus. Amadeus, Amadeus. It does.

Okay. Anyway, the music is caused by Wolfgang Amadeus. Wolfgang Amadeus, an Amadeus part. But, before, is it by Celieri Amadez. Wolfgang Amadez was shot. Before is it by Sally Erie? Yes. A little bit of Sally Erie. A little bit of Sally Erie. A little bit of F Murray. Yes. A Abraham. Too many notes.

Number six, die hard. Wow. This is a fantastic chance. It is. Where are my detonators? Number five, Godfather II. Good choice. Yes.

Honestly, I have trained you well over the 20 years that we've been with because when we started, you would have gone for Godfather. Number four, Toy Story 2. And again, wow. Number three, exorcist. Oh, just number three. Yes. What do you think of number three?

I've never seen it. But you know, it's the summer holiday top 10. So will you watch it then, this summer? Number two, silent running. No. You have seen silent running because we show you, because you sat next to me when we but you know it's the summer holiday top 10. So will you watch it then, there's someone like that? Number two silent running? No. You have seen silent running, because we use that next to me,

when we showed it at the Hyde Park picture house in Leeds. Number one quiet place. Wow. And Elvis, join us. Oh, five, five, thank you. I'll join number one, Elvis and quiet place. So it's a quiet place and noisy place. Yeah.

Which would you show? You'd show quiet place first, I think. Yeah. But to be honest, you'd sit and watch more of those. That's a great, I'm quite pleased with that list, which would you just put together. They should put together and have a film called Quiet Elvis. Yes.

In which Elvis isn't allowed to sing. Silent Elvis. Silent Elvis. Silent Elvis. God Elvis. Great Elvis. Mary Elvis. Great Elvis. Merry Elvis. Summer Elvis.

It works in so many ways. Quite holiday. Quite escape. Die Story 2. Silent Poppins. That's probably enough. Anyway, we're doing that because obviously we haven't got a box of top ten because we're recording this at Easter. That was in so many ways, more entertaining than what's actually played.

That's probably the best chart we've had probably the long-time chart. And you used to do the top ten rundown on top of the pops. Yeah, we did top ten. Digger, digger, digger, digger, digger, digger, digger, digger, digger, digger, digger, digger, digger, digger, digger, digger, digger, digger, digger, digger, digger, digger, digger, digger, digger, digger, digger, digger, digger, digger, digger, digger, digger, digger, digger, digger, digger, digger, digger, digger, digger, digger, digger, digger, digger, digger, digger, digger, digger, digger, digger, digger, digger, digger, digger, digger, digger, digger, digger, digger, digger, digger, digger, digger, digger, digger, digger, digger, digger, digger, digger, digger, digger, digger, digger, digger, digger, digger, digger, digger, digger, digger, digger, digger, digger, digger, digger, digger, digger, digger, digger, digger, digger, digger, digger, digger, digger, digger, digger, digger, digger, digger, digger, digger, digger, digger, digger, digger, digger, digger, digger, digger, digger, digger, digger, digger, digger, digger, d Leridlidlidlidlidlidlidlidlidlidlidlidlidlidlidlidlidlidlidlidlidlidlidlidlidlidlidlidlidlidlidlidlidlidlidlidlidlidlidlidlidlidlidlidlidlidlidlidlidlidlidlidlidlidlidlidlidlidlidlidlidlidlidlidlidlidlidlidlidlidlidlidlidlidlidlidlidlidlidlidlidlidlidlidlidlidlidlidlidlidlidlidlidlidlidlidlidlidlidlidlidlidlidlidlidlidlidlidlidlidlidlidlidlidlidlidlidlidlidlidlidlidlidlidlidlidlidlidlidlidlidlidlidlidlidlidlidlidlidlidlidlidlidlidlidlidlidlidlidlidlidlidlidlidlidlidlidlidlidlidlidlidlidlidlidlidlidlidlidlidlidlidlidlidlidlidlidlidlidlidlidlidlidlidlidlidlidlidlidlidlidlidlidlidlidlidlidlidlidlidlidlidlidlidlidlidlidlidlidlidlidlidlidlidlidlidlidlidlidlidlidl 1972 and it's being reissued. It's got a long play at the BFI South Bank and it's being reissued in cinemas. I take it you've seen the harder they come a long time ago. Okay. For those who haven't kind of hailed as a first Jamaican feature film, not first feature film to be shot with scenes in Jamaica, but first Jamaican feature film, low budget drama, directed by Per Hensel, starring Jimmy Cliff as Ivan, if you're a clash fan, you see he feels like Ivan brought under the bricks and sun, his game is called Surviving at the end of the Hardly Come. Inspired by the sort of real life, a 40s to make an outlaw

Reagan figure of modern myth whose name apparently meant a wild or raging, who wasn't a musician but but kind of outlaw folk hero. And the story is about somebody attempting to make it in the business and coming up against all these different obstacles and gangsterism to some extent and intrigue and loads and loads of music. And Hale is being the first genuinely authentic portrayal of that. And also one of the very few films, there's an awful lot of pop movies, but very few pop

movies can be genuinely credited with popularizing a musical form internationally. And it has been generally regarded by, I think it was both Rolling Stone and Time Magazine generally regarded by, I think it was both Rolling Stone and Time magazine said that the soundtrack to Harder They Come was one of the greatest albums of all time and was responsible for widening the appeal of reggae on the international stage. If you haven't seen any of it, Harder They Come has a brilliantly kind of gritty, raw, earthy feel. Sometimes it feels like a documentary, although obviously it is a drama. Here is a clip from the 1972, wow, I can't believe it's 50 years old, the harder they come. Is Sikmaw?

Yes. I have one with your grandmother. What a leaf. But where you come to to all four? Grandma, dad. Dad? Dad? Oh, she came't, did I never know? We tried to get you, but the telegram came back. That meant you weren't a berry.

It's a berry, I really am old. Berry already? Berry already had a 9-year-old get to go to the funeral? Oh, God! Oh, God! You're not a prey. You're not a prey. Oh, okay. You're not afraid. You're not afraid. Oh, no. The melodians singing in the background.

And also, if you can't get to see it in a cinema, it is available on BFI player. It's a remarkable thing about how they come. So, you know, fairly low budget, sort of made on the fly, became a huge hit in Jamaica partly, because I think it was the first time that the audience had seen their world portrayed convincingly on screen. Then, I mean, opened over here, it had a residency in a cinema in Brixton

for many, many weeks and became a big cult here, everybody bought the soundtrack album. In America, Roger Corman picked it up, and it became one of the kind of the cult Midnight movie techs, so along with things like Eraserhead, Pink flamingos, El Topo, how do they come was one of those movies that would play the Midnight circuit. Weirdly, in America, they decided to subtitle it, because the Americans just had no idea what was being said.

And I think the really fascinating thing about it is, firstly, I no idea what was being said. And I think the really fascinating thing about it is firstly, I've watched it again fairly recently, I had to, I had to, I had to, I did an introduction for it for the BFI about a, maybe a year ago something, and I watched it again then and then because it was about to be reassured, I watched it again. It is amazing how well it holds up, it is amazing just how great the soundtrack is, but not just that, just how authentic the portrait of those lives feel. It's, as I said, one of the few pop movies that's ahead of the curve, it's not a kind of retro pop movie that's capturing something that's gone. It is genuinely introducing music to a whole new audience. If you speak to people like Don Leetz or anyone

that you think of as being music the infrared, they all had their own stories of the first time they saw the harder they come. So if you've never seen it, definitely watch it. If you have seen it, you've never seen it on a big screen, go and see it on a big screen because it is an absolute stone-cold classic and it has really stood the test of time and it's great to see it back on the big screen. And Boney M did everyone a favour by singing rivers of Babylon because then even though that was just playing in the background, you think, oh, because in the same way that a lot of people won't have seen how do they come, a lot of people weren't have seen how do they come.

A lot of people weren't afford the original versions of these songs. So I've got, I don't know whether you have the same thing, but on your phone, if you've got your Spotify account, whatever it is, you've got some albums that you've saved on your phone, you can listen when you're offline. So the first thing I ever saved in my phone was how do they come soundtrack?

Because you can just play it over and over and over again, but there is much more to the film than just the soundtrack. Still to come on today's episode, Mark, what are you going to be? This is paid. No, I know, I can just do this because I know what I'm doing. No instinct to do. Yes, that's fantastic. I'm going to be reviewing bullet train. Yes. We've just seen you action through the comedy starring Brad Pitt and we're going to be talking about Irma Vep with our fantastically special guest.

Alessio Vikander. Plus also, the laughter lift will be returning, maybe for the last name, not for the last time, because everybody loves the laughter lift. That's so much. It was time for the ads, unless you're one of the hardcore, in which case, you don't need such trinkets.

And we'll be back after a nice jingly thing. MUSIC Hi, esteemed podcast listeners, Simon Mayo. I'm Mark Kermot here. I'm excited to let you know that the new season of the Crown and the Crown, the official podcast, returns on 16th of November to accompany the sixth and final season of the Netflix epic Royal Drama series. Very exciting, especially because SuperSub and Friend of the Show Edith Bowman hosts this one.

Indeed, Edith will take you behind the scenes, dive into conversation with the talented cast and crew from writer and creator Peter Morgan to the crown's Queen Elizabeth, Emelda Staunton. Other guests on the new series include the Crown's research team, the directors, executive producers Suzanne Mackie and specialists, such as voice coach William Connaker and props master Owen Harrison. Cast members including Jonathan Price,

Selim Dor, Khalid Abdullah, Dominic West and Elizabeth Tabicki. You can also catch up with the story so far by searching the Crown, the official podcast, wherever you get your podcast. Subscribe now and get the new series of the crown, the official podcast first on November 16th. Available wherever you get your podcasts.

Happy Nord Christmas. Protect yourself whilst Christmas shopping online and access all the Christmas films from around the globe. Plus, when you shop online, you'll have to give websites your card details and other sensitive data like your personal addresses. Those websites should already have their own encryption built into their payment systems, but to be on the safe side, you can use a VPN to ensure that all data coming to and from

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great cinema from around the globe. From myConnect directors to emerging otters, there's always something new to discover, for example. Well, for example, the new Aki Karri's Mackey film Fallen Leaves, which won the jury prize at CAN, that's in cinemas at the moment. If you see that and think I want to know more about Akikari's Maci, you can go to Mooby the streaming service and there is a retrospective of his films called How to Be a Human. They are also going to be theatrical releasing in January Priscilla, which is new so for a couple of films, which I am really looking forward to since I

have an Elvis obsession. You could try Mooby free for 30 days at moobie.com slash kermedon mayo. That's m-u-b-i.com slash kermedon mayo for a whole month of great cinema for free. BLEETS BELL And we're back with an email from Vicky Wong, Simon and Mark and Mark and Simon. I'm sending you the email as a heritage listener from Hong Kong, and I want to thank Mark for that blast from the past.

That is the 1994 animated film Thumbelina. Thumbelina. It's an unbeaten little squirre. Thumbelina. It's an underrated gem and was the subject of repeated viewings when I was a child. Impossible things, the big number sung by what I think is a French magpie. Yeah, I don't think is a French magpie. Yeah, I don't think Jacques Amos of magpie. I think.

I think it's a favorite song and I'm sad Mark didn't sing that one. Oh, Bikki, please. That said, a huge thanks to Mark for that beautiful rendition of Mary the Vom. We've got the possible things. Beautiful and interesting. Although I was sad to only hear just a snippet. It's my favorite part of the song.

It's the final few seconds when it gets into the big brass. M is for money. O L E And massively that's finished so could I say however I do play it on a fourth-cubbing Scarlet show in its entirety oh my goodness me so on last week's take one yes and also on take two We have Ron Howard talking about the two lives in the cinema and then on take two, we have Ron Howard talking about the three lives in the cinema, and then on Amazon, from the fifth. Paul next to, but not on, Clapham Common in London. On the hottest day of the year, I swapped basking inside my flat for the cold and welcoming

seats of my local air-conditioned cinema to watch a preview of Ron Howard's new jamitization 13 lives. Now I've been a recreational open water diver for 30 years. So open water diver meaning not caves? Well as he's he'll explain. Open water diver 30 years diving into shipwrecks, caverns, often difficult tidal conditions, and some deliberate encounters with sharks. But nothing, nothing could ever persuade me to try cave diving. A specialist and technical, loner world exploring dark, winding, claustrophobic, tight underground passageways filled with muddy water and strong chaotic cold current. Is the interesting that someone who loves diving is not going to come into any way. He's finding the same way about it as I do. Like any parent, I want our children to live and enjoy life to the full,

but when they are suddenly placed in mortal danger, we unite as a global family, unable to relax until we know they are safe again. And here was a whole team of young boys peering out at us from their flooded cave. I have since watched the excellent and detailed National Geographic documentary The Rescue by the Oscar-winning directors of Free Solo about this story, seeing it twice to absorb the huge story its detail and impact. So I was reluctant to see 13 lives, anticipating a commercial and disrespectful American retelling. Can I just go but? No, it's going to, there's a big but coming isn't it?

So, okay. But the heatwave got me into the chilled cinema and I suspended judgement encouraged by Ron Howard's track record for great films. I was happy that despite having big name actors, the stars respectfully represented the mild and reticent heroes of this story. With Ron Howard inserting instead a myriad of direct and indirect references to his research such as the blessed bracelets, a child's birthday cake, stateless immigrants, hillside farmers, and a rescue divers ailing father. Although I am a seasoned diver, as a dad,

I found the detailed scenes of the actual rescue attempts difficult to watch as the precious cargo were children and the peril faced by the Thai Navy seals, willing but inexperienced in cave diving. I went into this film ready to walk out if it was fake or bravado, but watched the end credits role exhausted, moved, sad and bored in equal measure. I was oblivious to its runtime of two and a half hours. In hindsight, I'd recommend both films, 13 lives and the rescue, making a complimentary pairing, telling more about the rescuers, their motivation, and how this story then played out. They say not all heroes wear capes,

but I'd like to thank Ron Howard for another Apollo 13 caliber movie remembering these names come up on the final credits. Saman, Q-man, and Beirut Pac-Barrer, the Thai Navy Seals who lost their lives attempting to rescue our children and the rest of the vast team of 5,000 that played their part too alongside them. Thank you, Paul.

Yeah, I mean, great. Well, a great email. And the film really is good, isn't it? And it is true that it's quite the feat to be able to be a drama that can sit alongside a documentary like the rescue and still be utterly gripping. I mean, I regarding the stuff that you said at the beginning of that email, the whole idea of cave diving is so terrifying. But also to someone who's got a... Who is that dive?

And goes willingly diving with sharks. Yes. But would never in a million years do what the divers did in this particular movie. Paul, thank you very much, Steve, for that. Sue Cox has been writing in here. Hello. So, Salonamar, I listened to your very interesting podcast last

night having just returned from watching where the Crawl Dad sing, which is one of my favorite books. You were interested here from people who'd read the novel and seen the film. Yes. I belonged to a book club and this was a recommendation, it's a classic book material, I think. It wasn't an author I was familiar with and I didn't know what to expect. I loved the book so much. It was a great story, very emotional and moving, making me want to visit North Carolina to see all that beautiful scenery and wildlife for myself. Kaya's story of hardship, abuse, prejudice and abandonment was balanced with wonderful acts of kindness, humanity, love of the natural world and finding happiness. The book stayed in my mind long after I had finished it and I was very much looking forward

to seeing how the book would transfer to the cinema screen. And I enjoyed it very much. Kaya, the scenery, the little shack and all the characters were pretty much as I imagined them. And I felt the screenwriters kept close to the original story. Jumping, who is the character that runs the store. Yeah. Who's the kind of the friend who is steadfast and true. Jumpin was great, a person of great kindness to Kaya and for a long time her only friend in what were very difficult circumstances. I wish they could have included in the film where, obviously you're seeing in the book where Kaya comes to his rescue when he is being

racially abused on the way home. It's a great moment. I thought the ending of the film was superb and such a surprise. For Kaya, it was, I think, she learned so much from studying the behavior of the natural world and was such a clever surprise. My only slight reflection is that the emotional depth of the book cannot be transferred to the screen, so I would advise people to read the book as well. My son Mark told me to listen to your podcast, he's listened to you both for many years. Thank you. Well, Sue Cox, thank you very much for that and thank you to your son for recommending the podcast. But there you go. So someone who loves the book also enjoyed the film. Yeah, so that was generally what you thought, I mean, I know you haven't read the book, but you thought that was the case. I thought that the the likelihood was that if you loved

the book, you wouldn't love the film. So that certainly proves me wrong. And well, and it's just one person. There's no choice but to come correspondence at codemay.com. love the book, he wouldn't love the film. So that certainly proves to be a role. And well, and it's just one person. There's no choice but to come correspondence at codermay.com. Our guest today on the program, an actress who is one, an Oscar for best, actually, before we get into this. Yeah, right. Go ahead. Irma Vep is what we're going to be talking about. Yes.

And Lissi Vikander, Oscar winner, I was about to do all that thing. Yeah. Just, give us 30 seconds because we've obviously spoken to Lissi Vikander. Yes. And I think even though you're gonna hear a Lissi's say some of the background, just give us 30 seconds on the history of this as a piece of visual entertainment.

Okay, so Olivia Cias, the director, made a film called Irma Vep starring Maggie Chung, which was a film about an actress who comes to Paris and finds herself starring in a film which is inspired by a silent serial from the very, very early days of cinema. And then what happens is that the director who is an odd ball and is kind of almost more interested in the costume than anything else. Can't really keep the production in check, and everything starts to fall apart. So it becomes a kind of a film that discusses in a kind of darkly comedic way, the idea of French cinema and populist cinema around the world.

So it's sort of metronome, so it reflects it in that way. Now we have Irma Vep, the TV show, which is again directed by Olivia Syas, a serial, because it's over many episodes, in which he revisits the story of somebody revisiting the story of the vampires on a series from early cinema. So this is like a refraction of a refraction. How much more

meta could it be? Exactly. None more meta. So I think there was worth having just so that that knowledge can anchor you as you're about to this conversation about Irma Vett, which is going to be new on Sky Atlantic and the streaming service now. So we're going to hear our conversation with Alissa in just a moment. First of all, he's a claim. I want to discuss the Silver Surfer's Equal. Yes, so we've already discussed it. They want you. Yeah, but it's a boring part. I'm tired of being the girlfriend. Listen.

Here's the twist. It's a reboot. Okay, Silver Surfer dies and the girlfriend takes over. This is exactly what people want right now. High concept, feminist, lady-led superhero movie. Alright, they are gonna go nuts over this. Are you serious? You want me to play the Silver Surfer.

She wants me to play the Silver Surfer. Yeah, I sure do. I would even pay to see it. And they're ready to write you a blank check. Who's directing? A hot new British filmmaker. Directed Grimes videos, his name escapes me. Babe.

Babe. Or a map is not happening. All right, don't worry. I'll make sure they pay you out. The new Skylantic series, Irma Vep, undelighted to say that it's star and executive producer, Alicia Vikander joins us somewhere. I'm not quite sure where you are. We can see pictures of you, Alicia. Where are you? I'm in France at the moment.

Well, it's very nice to see. I last spoke to you for Lara Croft. Mark first spoke to you when you were marrying into the Danish Royal family. Yes, I remember that. I'm shocked that you remember. I gave you a curmo de ward for Best Actress, which was a statue of me. I very, very much remember it. I remember it. I was so shocked that I was invited to your programme and I was really honoured back then. It was, you know, right in the beginning when I hadn't done many interviews at all, I think. I think must have been one of my first interviews in English, probably. What did you do?

What did you do without a war? That statue of Mark. I mean, I can't imagine. I'm sure it's on a mantle piece. I'm sure it's front and center. I think it's hopefully should show up pretty soon, because I literally moved, I mean, we've had this country house for a while,

but quite recently, we finally moved in to our main house. And so hopefully it's gonna show up when I'm unpacking years of things that have ended up in storage. So you've lost it. That's why, unless you say it. No, I hope not. So that's all a very long time ago,

and you're slightly more used to interviews in English, I hope not. So that's all a very long time ago, and you're slightly more used to interviews in English, I think. So take us to the beginning of the story of Vermevep. I mentioned that you're a producer on this, so you're on board from the get-go. Just explain how you got involved with it. Well, I've been a huge admirer of Olivier Sias for many years, and we met about six years ago now and we connected over the love of film and filmmaking and over the years we continued to meet when we passed through the same city and so it was once again I was in Paris and we had lunch and then he brought up this idea that he was going to do a re-imagination of a web.

His film, and I think I probably had a similar reaction to maybe a lot of other people who knows work. I was like, oh, he's going to go back and touch an extraordinary film of his that he's already done and intrigued to just understand what he meant with that. And then he started by giving me an idea of telling me that he wasn't finished, I guess, without world. He asked me if I was interested to be part of it. And I think I immediately just said yes. I wanted to be part of his project and also been so curious to wonder what it's like getting to work with his dialogue specifically. So when I said yes he just went back and said okay then I'm going to start writing.

and said, okay, then I'm gonna start writing. So I had a bit of a similar experience as the audience now, I guess, I kind of had a new episode coming in every few weeks and in that sense, I was invited by him to kind of be part of the process or, you know, obviously he is the writer and been an only creator of this, but it's been wonderful to kind of have him inviting me to be part of discussions and throughout the entire process about the series and the meaning of it and then of course putting together a team.

When he said he wasn't finished with it, when he wasn't finished with the idea in the world of Ermivat, can you explain a bit what he meant by that? He, of course, is quite not just open but quite vulnerable in a wonderful way, opening up about his own past and his love and not only for love and cinema, but also for a specific person. But of course, had a relationship, which is Maggie, who played the main part in Amabab in 94. And by that, I think he said, this is the ghost that has followed me. And it's not only the ghost that inhabits cinema, but also real life. And he also said that that series actually came about

just as kind of a blip in him preparing for another much bigger film. And he said it was the only kind of creator because he was bored. And he was waiting for finance to come together. There was no money there. And he was like, I'm never gonna get to do this thing. So now I'm here with my friends and I have this idea and he wrote it in like, I don't

know, a few days and I think they showed it for like 20,000 euros. And he said then it became like one of those films that people still today want to talk to me about. And I almost don't know how and why it happened back then. But then it became one of the biggest films of my life and in that sense I kind of want to go back now and I'm more aware of what it is and what I want to continue to say. You just used the word series and there's a very funny discussion in the series, a serial or series of envelopes, in which the director says, I'm not making a series. I am making a film that is a serial

and he then relates this back to the original silent series from which you're taking the titles for the series. Are we now in a world in which television and film are completely comparable? Or is that snobbery of that director saying I'm not making a series, I'm making a film serial, still a thing. Yeah, I mean, I think it's funny because obviously that character of the director in the series is very much like an alter ego of Olivier himself.

But it's like an evil little devil on his shoulder because Olivia might be one of the nicest people you've ever met. And it's always like surprising that all these things come out to this head obviously. But yeah, I think I asked this question myself while we were shooting, what are we making of, we're making a series or a film, but I think we have. I think in one way he is bringing it up because I think we reached a point when it's come to that point when I don't know what the difference is anymore. I think there's incredible TV being made at the moment and I myself at least love being part of it, but being able to stay with characters a bit longer.

And did you personally go back and look at the original silent cereals for research? I did just while my character mirror is in the in the series, it's all available on YouTube, which is fantastic. You just go in and click on the link on Wikipedia and there it is. It's pretty incredible. Compare the two film sets. Okay, so I think as people are listening to what you're saying, they're becoming aware of the bewildering metanus of this series that you've created.

So there are two film sets. There's the film set that's the real one with your friend, Livy Sias directing. And then there is the one that is being filmed where the director is this crazed René Vidal, played by Vassar Makenia. So two lots of sound engineers, two lots of cameras, even though you're the executive producer, that must have been incredibly confusing. It was, and you know, you walk around and I really tried to like, you know, learn people's names, you know, right at the start. But it was hard when it was, you know, it was a very, you know, large crew. And the crew that was being filmed was also large.

There's actually one sequence in, I think it's like the third episode or something, when it was kind of long shot when the camera, the DP, like, followed me just before she walks in into a scene. And so I have this like crew following me from behind and they need to figure out where obviously they can stand in this 360 set without being seen. And they're like, you know, running around hiding everywhere when the camera's moving and suddenly I am walking in and opening this door. And then I see an entire camera crew

with a camera face towards me. And I was like, well, I have no clue where, what I'm doing anymore. But actually one thing that did help, I mean, because of us living in still then, a COVID world, that meant that the trick of knowing who was real crew and not real crew was if they were a mask or not, which was great. That's pretty useful. So I think we've explained some of the history of this and you've explained

some of the history via Olivier. So in the original 1915 series which was called Le Vompier, have I got that right? Le Vompier, yeah. I've been trying to work on my friendship. Moussidora, who plays Omevap, describes Omevap as the first vamp. Can you explain what she means by that? Yeah, I mean, I find it more interesting to kind of figure out that the word maybe like vamp in English, you know, I'm not the best at translating exactly what that means, I find it more interesting to kind of figure out the word maybe like vamp in English. You know, I'm not the best at translating exactly what that means, I guess, as a foreigner. But yeah, I figured out that he came from around this time.

And that was pretty incredible, I thought. And then obviously by going back and watching Live On P, to kind of see this cat woman emerge in 1914 is pretty incredible. And it's what I've known. It's one of the first times we get to see a female villain in a way that is also our main heroine in the series, just pretty incredible. Explain what happens to Mira, who's your character, when she puts the cat suit on. What happens? Well, I guess this is where the kind of ghost story that is what I know Olivia likes to use when describing the series comes to use. And that's because when Mira puts this costume on,

she kind of becomes this character for real she inhabits it, it becomes part of her skin. So when Mira puts on this costume, I think that's when the series kind of start to become a bit more like a ghost story, which I know is a word that all of you like to use to describe the series. It's where the magic really happens. I mean, it was pretty incredible when I tried to costume myself the first time. And I think it because of the nature of it being not only, well, it's black, but it kind of when I look in the mirror, a big part of a Lissier is literally gone. a big part of Alicia is literally gone. And also somehow, because I wore this black, you know,

veil kind of thing, I also started to kind of believe that I was maybe invisible, that people didn't notice me looking around and that thing. It's a bit like, you know, the feeling people had, I think, walking around with masks for the past two years, you kind of feel a bit more anonymous when you're outside. And when I make films, I would say that a very specific moment that makes me find the character is when I go and have my first costume fitting.

It is pretty incredible because you kind of been home and you've been reading this script news, started to have these, you know, how you're imaginations and fantasies about this character and then you come in and the director of these present to and the other people in the crew who might be there, they have done the same. And then you start like trying things on and it's kind of obvious when the room feels that it's not the right thing. And everyone can be a bit nervous, almost. And suddenly you try something, you want to come out and it is a bit of magic and people

are like, oh, suddenly without knowing at least for me I start to kind of move differently and people kind of just like in union feel like something happened. It's a bit like when a good take happens on set, like everyone knows. Simon, you know when a good take happens. Yes, I do. We're going to talk more with Alicia in take two, which we'll be available in a few days. For the moment on take one,

Alicia Vikander, Star of Irma, thank you very much. Thank you. Thank you so much. And she's great company, isn't she? She's just fabulous. She is a proper, brilliant star and a great interview. And if at the end of that conversation, you thought like in Basel Brush on the television,

you can't leave a list of you there. Mr. Rodney. Mr. Rodney. Mr. Rodney. Then what you need is take two because there's more, a more expansive a list of a candor coming up in take two, which will be with you in a few days time.

But for the moment, a VEP we can discuss. Yeah, well let me extemperize a little bit on the, and actually that's on the subject of vamp because there was a discussion there about where vamp comes from. You know, if you're a musician, you know what it means to vamp musically.

You're kind of nudely and waiting for the right amount. Yeah, you're specifically holding a dead dead dead dead, you know, you're doing a thing before something else happens. So vamp means just, you know, carry on, just do that thing. Because the singer is what has wandered off and is being all lead singer issues. It's been refreshed. Exactly.

It's been refreshed, or being passed around the crowd. Yes, in the case of Bono, he's probably ascending to the clouds and then coming back down again. While the vamp. While the hedge is just vamping, yeah. So the extemporised and piano thing

is related to the fact that vamp means in one version of it, the upper part of a shoe or boot. So if you look at what the origin of the word is, it comes from old French, avont, and pief, and p French, Avant, and Pied-Fuert, which is Avant Pied, which then turns into vamp. Okay, so the upper part of shoe or boot, that if you were going to repair, you would revamp

hence, you know, a revamped move. So it means either the holding pattern or or it means front foot, or it means repair. You put something together, you knock something, revamped also has a kind of an overtone of botched together. You know, what's the phrase, make-do in mend? And then, of course, vampire, and it's saying here, first attested use is earlier than the release of the Fox Film Fuller Wars, but you know, 1950, 1940 round about that time. So the original

Irma Vep is right around the sort of, when that word starts to come into common politics. That's the first thing. The second thing is there is something, I mean, I've seen the first four of Irma Vep the TV series and mean, I've seen the first four of Ermovet the TV series and of course I've seen the film itself. If you want to see the film, I believe it's still available on BFI Player and I did an introduction for it some years ago, so I look younger, obviously, but it's... Any, any a little bit. Yeah, and when you were watching the TV show, I said, look, have a look at this introduction

because it just kind of gives you a thumbnail sketch of the film itself. I have really enjoyed the four episodes I've watched of Urm Effect partly because I love the metanus of it. Now, metastuff can become very, very annoying and just self-reflexive and look at us, we're making a movie about making a movie. There is, however, something deliciously fascinating about making a TV series, about a filmmaker, who is based on the filmmaker who has already made this film, saying, I am not making a film series, I am making a serial, like the serials that you used to have in Silent Cinema, but doing it for a streaming platform,

in what, I think there's no way you could look at this and say, it's an eight hour movie, a seven hour movie, whatever it is, divided up into some, it is absolute, it's a serial, isn't it? It is, and yet it has, I mean, there were times when I was watching it, and I was thinking of a cock and bull story, which is the Michael Winterbottom adaptation of Tristan Shandy, in which basically what they're doing is they're doing in adaptation of Tristan Shandy,

but the gag is that Steve Cougan's character hasn't actually read Tristan Shandy, therefore doesn't understand it. So you get these characters who come in who are on the one hand very close to, I mean, it's funny when she said the director is basically the alter ego of the actual director who she said in real life, he's lovely, it's funny when she said, the director is basically the alter ego of the actual director, who she said in real life, he's lovely, he's just really, really

nice. But in the, in the, in the TV series, he's kind of insufferable. He is. Very much. Very French. Very French. The scenes with him and his psychiatrist are laugh out loud, funny. They thought they were absolutely wonderful. And when he's discussing whether or not watching an episode of The Avengers, which is the Hellfire Club episode of The Avengers, has permanently changed his life. And it turns out he'd already run down the preview, the star of his previous movie. But as he said, there was a reason, there was a reason, and they can't ensure him anymore because he's on mood altering drugs. But he says he needs to be on the mood altering drugs because because the last time he wasn't on me,

he did try to run down the star of the previous film. I thought all that was really good fun. I think Alicia Vikander is completely convincing as the person who comes into this. Well, I mean, for one thing, Alicia Vikander always remember this, is working in at least a second language. She's playing an American who is a fish out of water in France.

She's talking about working on her French. She's speak Swedish, Danish, you know, she's... And if you just said, there we go, is that, who is that? You just go, okay, well, that character, she is that character. She's absolutely notepurfect, absolutely notepurfect. I thought it was really good fun. I have to say I expected my patients to be tried because I thought, you know, there is a sense you could over stretch this, but so far it hasn't been so far. I'm four hours into it and I'm enjoying it hugely. And the act two comes in, by how do you pronounce the last Idenka, who needs to be supplied with the chemical to which he is addicted.

It is very funny. You made a comparison to Call My Agent. It's a chaotic world of French and television production. That was all I was thinking. So if you could have been primed for it by watching Call My Agent, Irma Vep is available to watch on Sky Atlantic and the streaming service. Now. Did you enjoy it?

I mean, yes. Yes, fine, fine, fine. Sorry, I just might. I thought you would. No, no, no, no. It is great and she is particularly fine. She's fabulous. Adds in a minute, Mark.

But first, let's indulge ourselves again in our laughter lift. Oh, dear. Oh, yeah. It's a very long gap between the kind of the sound of the lift, shutting and then us moving it. It's just to make me feel paranoid about being stuck in a lift, which I was in Malta in 1972. Fourth floor, swimwear, office furniture, Christmas gifts, socks.

So Mark, the good lady ceramicist, her indoors is getting really, really irritated with me at the moment due to my terrible sense of direction. So last night I packed my eggs and... State. Is that the guy I packed my bags and... Anyway, the good lady's ram is just coming to this fresh. The good lady's ram is just getting really, really irritated by one my ability to be described. And also my terrible sense of direction.

So last night I packed my bags and right. Okay, I was close with I packed up my bags and stayed. Something that happened the other night. So child two rang earlier and we included that conversation. Can I just say, are any of these jokes by child three? No, okay. Child three was an exclusive for last week.

Okay, fun. And until he works his way into the production team. Okay. So child to screeched, Dad, you haven't listened to one word I've said, have you? Which occurred to me as a strange way to start a conversation. Yeah, but anyway, we're good. Have we done that before? Yes. We have actually done that game before. And speaking of games we've certainly done before, do you know the, but it's worth repeating? Cause it's the summer.

And obviously the best things are just repeated in summer. And repetition is a form of comedy. Do you know the, repetition is a form of comedy? Do you know the cost of some apple pie and Jamaica compared with the Bahamas? No. It all depends on the pie rates of the Caribbean.

Again, I'm sure we've done that joke before. I'm loving in turn. I'm loving. I'm crying on the inside. What's coming up later, Mark, as far as you're concerned? Oh, bullet train. Bullet train, that's the thing. That's the right answer. Back off to this, unless you're a Vanguard East Day,

in which case your service will not be interrupted. Trying to escape the holiday playlist. Well, it's not gonna happen here. Jesus' season for evocation, Fala la la la la la la la la la. Leave the code for a sunny location, Fala la la la la la la la la. Ditch the mittens, grab the lotion,

Fala la la la la la la la la. With sun-wing seasons of savings on now, why not ditch the cold and dive straight into sun? Visit your local travel agent or... La la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la screening from wherever you are in the world. Send it to Correspondence at Kermanemail.com. This week we have a message from Sandy. Hi, Mark and Simon. This is Sandy from Chichester, cinema at New Park, West Sussex. The 30th anniversary Chichester International Film Festival, the largest of its sort on the South Coast, runs from August 5th to the 28th. A huge international selection of films, UK Premiers, Previews and Exclusives, Retrospectives, Talks by and Exclusives, Retrospectives

Talks by renowned experts and Ukrainian films, details at jichestercinema.org or on the jichester cinephile podcast. I'm fairly certain Sandy is a radio for continuity in ours or leads the new sort of shipping forecast or something. Now Melvin Bragg's in our time. So in those years it's going great, what an incredible program. I, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. I know. What an incredible program that is. I know. It's just like there's no pick-up time at all.

It's just how obscure does that program? nice, we'll give you a shout out, or to be precise, you give yourself a shout out. Shout out. Because you sound much better doing it than we do. So, bullet train is what we've promised, and bullet train is what you're gonna get. Yes, so have you seen this, or is it just me? I have not seen it, no.

Because there was a point when you were going to, and then, because I think we were doing some sort of some publicity stuff, or or anyway, the demo. So anyway, bullet train, which is currently playing in the cinema, so some some listeners may have seen it. I already action comedy directed by David Leach, who directed Atomic Blonde, which I have to say, I like, did you ever see Atomic Blonde?

I did not. He did, did you do the first John Wick? He's uncredited on the first John Wick. The first John Wick is actually, as far as I remember, let me just check this. First John Wick is Chad Stalesky and then David Leach uncredited, apparently. Atomic Blonde in 2017, Fast and Furious presents Hobbes and Shaw and Deadpool 2. Deadpool 2 is the not good Deadpool. I kind of quite liked Deadpool. I thought it was really overstate, it's welcome.

Anyway, this is based on the Japanese novel Maria Beatle by Katara Saka, which was described by critics as a darkly hilarious game of musical chairs. Book was apparently adapted into a stage play in 2018, which says something about that musical chair's things, obviously, you know, it's on seats of a train. The source is set in Japan, as is the film, but the film stars Brad Pitt and Aaron Taylor Johnson, and there was some pre-release controversy about whitewashing the source material by making this, you know,

led by Western actors. Brad Pitt is in Tokyo. He is a hitman. He is introduced to the sounds of Stain Alive. Get it? He says, Ironic. Okay. He says, hello Alannis, yes, I'll leave a message with Simon.

I fly in my shard, mate. And he's got, in his ear, a familiar voice of his handler. And he says that I'm the new improved me. He doesn't want to be doing what he's doing. He wants to be getting out of it. But the point is, this is what he does. He's working under the code name Ladybug. He wants to do something different, but he says, even when I'm not trying to kill people,

someone dies, his mission puts him on the bullet train, which I think is 16 coaches long. I think the train he rides is 16 coaches long. Why do you keep saying that? Train, I ride 16 coaches long. Mystery train, everyone. With instructions, the Astagat briefcase, which is full of goodies, also on the train, however, is a rogue's gallery of comedically nicknamed hit people whose fates are twistily intertwined, including most notably, but not solely, Tangerine and Lemonade, play Baron Taylor Johnson and Brian Tirey, British assassins, both sporting Gull Blimey accents, and an unfunny obsession with Thomas the Tank Engine.

Then Joekene Prince, who is an assassin who looks like a kind of posh finishing school girl. And then the rest of the film has an abundance of famous faces and cameos, many of whom are in the trailer, and if you've seen the film already, you'll know, but I just, I'm not sure which ones you're allowed to spoil and which ones you're not. Here is a clip from Bullittrain.

Oh, lemon. Tangerine. He bleeding, mate. That's not my mate. How is not yours? Yeah, I mean, I don't bleed. Oh, in that case, just leave your jacket open and let everyone have a good old look.

Yeah, I want everyone to my time. Pull your coat together, so no one else notices lemon. I think they'll notice the child's coat names first, but if we're gonna stick with fruit, we're not Apple or Orange. So what's in this case? Are we doing this? You know what's in the case.

Money, it's always money. Time's range is sophisticated. Oh no, he's calling them fruits sophisticated. It's cross-hyped arse with other fruit. They're adaptable. Like me. And one my lemon. Because you're sour.

No one likes lemon. Oh, looks mate. Lemonade, lemon drops. Got a sore throat. Lemon meringue pie. And there's the last time you ate a lemon meringue pie. Lemon drizz, okay? I'm sorry, you're talking about lemons.

Quite like lemons, I just hate cold names. Now, he's right, lemons are great. I love lemons. Just forget the lemons thing, right? Okay, so gangster, gizary, avi-net kind of conversation. Okay, who does that sound like? Embr Brad Pitt. Sounds like Guy Richie, right?

It could be a guy Richie. It's basically a guy Richie film. Okay, so this was, this was, that makes me feel a little bit nervous. This was developed by Anton Fickoy, who made training day and who is now the producer. The film seems to have changed a lot in development. I mean, bear in mind, I knew nothing about it until I saw it and then just did some basic background research. Tim Rothman, who's executive, said,

this summer we've got bullet train from David Leak with Brad Pitt, a pure, original R-rated, rock-em-soc-em action movie for grown-ups. And then Aaron Taylor Johnson was quoted as saying, originally this thing was quite a dark, R-rated vicious action picture, but we hammed it up and made it fun. I don't know what happened, but it became a comedy. So in that mishmash from source to thing to, you know, actually,

it's turned into a guy-richy movie. So there are, you know, the names on screen with the Gisari things. There is the convoluted sub-tarantino flashbacks, flashfalls, you know, 26 years later, bring them in, blah, blah, blah, blah. There's loads and loads of Gisari monologues explaining the plot, explaining the thing.

And they remember when Guy Richie, you interviewed Guy Richie about, was it revolver? Which was the one that was just absolutely bonkers? The one that was about numerology. The one that was about numerology, there's an awful lot of that sort of stuff. And there's a lot of kind of endlessly comic psychobab, the joke being that Brad Pitt is a hitman, but he wants to change. So he says hurt people, hurt people.

But the irony of it is that he's... Then there's a montage, just kind of these what? Well, he's a hitman, but he's trying to change. Yeah, they all do that. Then there's a montage of how many people they killed played out to Angle but Humberding, which sounds funny,

but it's not as funny as Tom Jones in Miles and Tax. On the plus side, if you've seen the trailer, you'll know there is an extended sequence in which they have a fight and a quiet carriage. And they have to, okay, that's quite funny, Joe. That's quite a funny joke. On the downside, there's an extended sequence of Brad Pitt being amazed by a Japanese smart toilet,

which is a joke so past it's tell by date that even I thought, you just, hang on, you're doing jokes about Japanese smart toilet squirting water up your... Jekuzi. No, she went over her own accord. Hey, hey, hey. But I mean, even I thought, I'm sorry, that joke is, that's in the wrong century, isn't

it? We don't make that joke anymore. The last time those jokes were acceptable, well, I mean, even then, you know, like even in lost in translation, everyone thought, okay, they went, you know, fine. Then there's an extended snakes on a train, riff, which reminded me that the best thing about snakes on a plane was when we did that thing about change one letter as a best one. Well, either snacks on a plane or snakes on a plane. Yeah, snacks on a plane or Snakes on a plane. Yeah, Snacks on a plane was my favourite.

There are several versions of I'm for ever blowing bubbles and lots and lots and lots of increasing amounts of ropey bullet train CGI. I think it is significant that the trailer of bullet train is more entertaining by some distance than the film. And the reason is that that sort of smart-ass, you know, humor and action-y violent stuff is fine for about four minutes. It's really stretching a point when it's over the length of a feature film. And also, if you think about something like the... I mean, I always said the problem with Deadpool was that...

Although I thought Deadpool was funny, Deadpool wasn't kickass, which of course starred Aaron Taylor Johnson, who is terrific in it. That film is kind of the high watermark of what you can do with a violent, darkly comedic action movie. And I, again, I've always quoted this.

I remember Nigel Floyd saying, when he saw kickass the first time, he thought, this must have been what it's like to see Klopp work orange the first time. I can't believe they're going there. This just felt massively derivative. I mean, it really felt like a guy richy film by any other name. And yeah, there were, you know, there's a couple of interesting jokes in it, but the extended riff about Thomas the Tank Engine is the key to everything. The whole, oh, this twist with that and the thing and then everybody, it's just, it's just not, and then every single cameo is, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, and then it goes CGI,

CGI, CGI, CGI, CGI, CGI, CGI, and then she turns up at the end and then it ends. And I have to say I was massively underwhelmed. That is bullet train. Once you've seen it, let us know what you think. We could join in the conversation correspondentsacodemero.com. That is the end of take one production management and everything else who's by Lily Hamley,

Teddy Riley on cameras, and socials this week by Ryan Amiris, studio engineer Josh Gibbs wearing a hat indoors. Flynn Rodham is the assistant producer, get well soon Flynn. Hannah Tulpit is the producer. Thanks for the coffee. Guest researcher was Sophie Yvonne. Mark, what is your film of the week? Irma Vep. It's not a film. How do they come? Let's take both. Next week we'll be sailing the high seas on the cruise, looking forward to your company on that. But Rufus Jones and Anna Boggertzkaya will be here to hold the fort extra takes available on Monday as always with even more Alicia Vikander.