Kermode & Mayo’s Take - Avatar: The Way of Water, The Nutcracker and the Magic Flute, The Unofficial Science of Home Alone & Le Pupille

Episode Date: December 16, 2022

It took three years and cost 250 million dollars to make ‘Avatar: The Way of Water’, and Mark has some strong feelings on the film... Mark also reviews animated Christmas movie ‘The Nutcracker and the Magic Flute’ - which follows Marie as she makes a wish and becomes the same size as her toy nutcracker, ‘The Unofficial Science of Home Alone’ - a one off Sky special with comedians James Acaster and Guz Khan, as they step into the shoes of the Wet Bandits as they build and test some of the famous boobytraps from the film, and ‘Le Pupille’, Disney+’s new live-action short that follows the rebellious girls of a strict Catholic boarding school in the run up to Christmas. Plus your correspondence, the Box office Top 10, What’s On, the Laughter Lift and much more! You can contact the show by emailing [e-mail] or you can find us on social media, @KermodeandMayo EXCLUSIVE NordVPN Deal ➼ https://nordvpn.com/take Try it risk-free now with a 30-day money-back guarantee! TIME CODES FOR THE VANGUARD (apologies we can’t put out time codes for those who don’t subscribe as the ad times fluctuate) 12:02 The Nutcracker and the Magic Flute 17:41 Last Week’s Streamers 19:49 Box Office Top 10 33:12 The Unofficial Science of Home Alone 40:45 Laughter Lift 51:16 Le Pupille 59:48 The Way of Water A Somethin’ Else & Sony Music Entertainment production.   Find more great podcasts from Sony Music Entertainment at sonymusic.com/podcasts and follow us @sonypodcasts To bring your brand to life in this podcast, email [e-mail] Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Holt Renfrew is sharing joy for the holidays with gifts for everyone on your list, and maybe even a special treat for yourself, too. Discover the new collection for Burberry by Daniel Lee. Add some ambiance with Louis V. Home. Give Gorpkora try and Solomon Sneakers, and so much more. Whatever presence you pick, we know they're going to love them. Visit a store today or shop at HoltRenfrew.com. Something that's...

It's come out and my eyes take. it's come out and my eyes take. Take one take, two, it's up to you, it's come out and my eyes take. Hey, disappointingly abbreviated. What's the phrase that you used to describe that kind of ending? Well, if it's a crash fade, I always call it a world service fade, which is very unfair on world service engineers, but it used to be the case when I did some programs for the, whenever they just did a pot, they just like opted out at any stage, without any sense of, yes, they're a pot cut,

which is just like a sudden swift turn of the pot, because a pot is a potentiometer. No, no, it was, but it's a knob, it's like it looked like a pot, that's what it was, but it looked like a pot, because it's short for potentiometer. Now, no, it was, but it's a knob. It looked like a pot. That's what it was. No, no, it's called a pot because it's short for potentiometer. Well, well, it also looked like a pot,

which is, that's not why it's called a pot. Well, this is taken an unusual, I mean, all the engineers that I work with, you don't need to look it up. I'm just saying, it looked, the knobs that they had on the decks that we used. Look like pots, short for potentiometer. A potentiometer, also pot or electric pot.

It's not named because it looks like a pot. It's named because it's short for potentiometer. Even I know that. And you know why I know that? Because I did practical design at school and then I built an electric guitar. Right. And on the decks that we used at the World Service, the knobs look like pots, which is why all the engineers called them pots. Not why they call them pots. Why did you ask me in the first place if you don't want to hear what my answer is?

I want to hear what the answer is. But it's just your gloves. It's your gloves. By saying that a pot is called a pot because it looks like a pot. That's not why it's called a pot. And it is why it's called a pot. It's not. It's called a pot because it's a potential geometry. I can't believe that you're arguing this point. It's a matter of fact. Except that where I worked, they looked like pot.

Just because you worked there, it doesn't mean it's true. There's loads of places that I worked that I thought things about that were true that aren't true. For example, what would you say? I can't think of one of the top of my head. Anyway, Ken, thank you very much indeed. It was a pleasant journey until Mark went off on one of these argument things which he likes to create every now and again. Can you imagine how much fun I am to live with? God help us all. At this time of chaos and everything falling apart, imagine that. Anyway, and yet, the good lady ceramicist, her indoors, always says, Mark, you're always welcome here.

She says a lot of things. The point of the wasail, of course, is that it is a way of starting the show. Yes. By extending the old Norse greeting, Vas-Hail. Vas-Hail. Be of good fortune. Yes. Be of good health. Yes.

Be of good cheer with some hot-mulled because that's what was what it was. And I think this is sadly missing from, for example, what we're offered to drink on this program. We start with a washail, but we don't have any washail to drink. No, quite a nice coffee though. Would you not fancy a hot mulled cider? No, I think you, I think everything would go. Not a cider drinker. I don't drink this all the day. I'm a cider drinker. I drink it all of the day, who are you? I'm a cider drinker. I drink it all of the day, who are you? The great thing about the wasale and the hot mold side

is that it was spread by which group do you think spread it particularly? Spread the wasale. Yes, spread the word of the wasale and the hot mold side. Hardline Methodists. Almost, there was Anglo-Danes. Okay, there was close. So let's hear it for the Anglo-Danes.

A section of society I feel particularly connected. It's funny, isn't it, how the way in which your children's lives have moved, have expanded your own global knowledge? It's like if knowledge kind of. Yeah, but anyone who has children, this one, but you learn about the world, they become the tendrils of your intellect or...

Absolutely. And they give you other flags to wave and other teams to support the World Cup. Very good. Are we out of the World Cup? When you say we, do you mean England? Yes, I don't have Danish relatives at the moment. No, they're marks out.

Oh, everyone's out. Everyone's out. But by the time this goes out, they'll be the final coming up. A whale's still in. When no whales were out ages ago. Scotland? Never qualified. Never qualified.

No. Okay. I love man. Didn't even enter. They were interested in other things. In other matters. So who's, sorry, just because we're boycotting this, and I haven't listened to it. So who's in the who's? Well, it's very difficult to say because the final is coming up. So this comes out on Friday. So the final is this weekend. So it's all

being decided, and it's either going to be Argentina or through, and it's either France or Morocco, who'll be playing them in the final. Because they just have all three teams. One team could play diagonally across. They would certainly be quite interesting. Someone will think if there's money to be made, I'm sure there's a way of just having all the teams playing at the same time. A good child too.

Yesterday, your child too was telling me a very interesting story about somebody challenging David Beckham on. Oh yeah, Joe Lyson. Joe Lyson, thank you very much. Yeah, called him out on, I mean, this is a story from about a month ago. Sorry, but hey, listen, this is news to me. Yeah, called him out, you know, so-called gay icon, but completely in league with the guitar authorities

and much to the disgust of Joe Lyson. The guitar authorities who have not been playing Tom Robinson's Glad to Be Gay on Hard Rotation. I don't think that's featured. Anyway, thank you very much for downloading this. Incidentally. I'm trying to get on with the show. Just quickly, as we were setting this program up, we mentioned Tom Robinson and one of

the children setting the camera up because we are now three times as old as everybody who makes that program. Somebody said who's Tom Robinson and the other one said he's a Radio 6 DJ and I went, my life is finished. There you go. That's where we are.

Anyway, coming up later on this very show, what do you have? We're going to be doing it. Is it, do I read all of this stuff? Oh yeah, it's fine. Reviews of La Pueilée, the pupils, the Nutcracker and the Magic Flute. Is that one thing?

The Nutcracker and the Magic Flute is one thing, unofficial science of home alone, and Avatar, the Way of Water. Sadly, we were let down by our guest this week. Who was, who was? Well, all I can say is very, very disappointed, liked all of his or her work for a quite a period of time. We're all set and ready to go.

And then last minute, could they be actually bothered? No, they could not be actually bothered. We don't hold grudges. Lingurong. I mean, although having said that, Mark hold grudges. Lingurong. I mean, although having said that, Mark keeps grudges for about four decades. I'm an Olympic level grudge carrier. So I don't think you're coming on anytime soon.

Maty Boy. You're in the hole with Julian Sands. And a few others. Anyway, despite that, aching gap caused by you, I'm thinking of you now. I'm picturing you in my mind. We have a jam pack program, plus all of our singing and dancing take two and take three items, which will drop early next week, which include another hours worth of great stuff

apparently, but I've got no idea what's going to be involved there. That's why my stuff about potential geometers is important. It fills space. It'll be edited out. More of your emails. You edit that out. I'm going to quit. I will listen back and I'm telling you now, if you edit out the thing about the potentiometers,

I am going to quit. Extra reviews, double the nonsense, potentiuses. More currently, the people, seven, marker mode four. You decide our word of mouth on a podcast feature. This week talking about the TV show, The English. The English. What is on the BBC? It's on the iPlayer.

It is. It is. Supporters fire Apple Podcasts or head to extratakes.com where if you so wish you can gift a subscription. I mean, I cannot think of anything I would want more for Christmas than a gifted subscription to this show. I started listing already two twisted Christmas volume, whatever it is, which has got, didn't I? Get this last year. Yeah. I'm talking for some fries. That was really very thoughtful of you guys. Some of that stuff like comedy from the 90s, which you'll never get away with talking

about it anymore. Anyway, if you're already a Vanguardista, thank you very much. And as always, we salute you. Use this. Ah yes, Neil ready. Dear had and had. Very good, very good. Mark's discussion of the infamous sentence with 11 hats. I draw your attention to a sentence we use in actor training.

The sentence is, I didn't say we should kill them. A sentence where, whichever word you choose to force inflection on, you get a different interpretation. You're welcome. So, deal. Third place, beanbag, throw, primary school, sports, Dave Van Goddister. So, but most sentences, the, the meaning changes depending on how you put the emphasis. But I suppose, I didn't say we should kill I suppose I didn't say we should kill them. I didn't say we should kill them. I didn't say we should kill them. I didn't say we should kill them. I didn't say we should kill them. Anyway, Neil, thank you. Honestly, it was like being in the presence

of Lawrence Olivier and John Gilgur doing that, wasn't it? That was a master class. Neil, like, used that, yeah. On television explaining the thing about only looking at the camera with one eye, which Jason Isaac says is rubbish. Tom Bolton, a member of Brooklyn's Church of the Nazarene in Manchester, a 10D fresh ground church of the Nazarene Clapham.

I was just listening to the most recent take too, in which you discuss the attitudes towards alcohol from different denominations. Yes. And I thought I could offer a bit of insight. First of all, Simon is correct, some Quakers drink and some do not. I mean, there's not a great insight in particular. I cannot offer any insight on Methodists, but I can.

But I am a member of the Church of the Nazarene. We have a similar aversion to alcohol, and like you mentioned, we have ribina or a similar diluted soft berry drink for communion. As I understand it, there is a very simple reason for this. When the first church of the Nazarens were planted, they were planted in some rather disadvantaged communities. These were communities that struggled with an array of issues, but one of the greatest was alcohol. The idea was to make church more accessible place to be for those who suffer without alcohol issues. Alcohol is not even an option during a Nazarene communion and as a result, anyone can attend a service without fear of being confronted

by something that may be a great danger to them. This is a quote from Dan Boone, Principle of the Treveca Nazarene University. From our beginning, the church of the Nazarene has expressed concern for the abuse of alcohol. We believe it is part of our historic calling to stand with those who suffer its abusive consequences while also opposing a culture that glorifies its use

to the detriment of many, and I just realized, we just spend a lot of time talking about the joys of Muldsider. We did. But anyway, Tom, thank you very much indeed. He says some of that might be true for Methodists. Yes, but not this particular Methodist. Not this particular Methodist.

Anyway, an insight from... Thank you. That's actually fascinating. And thank you for explaining that because that's, again, I feel that my knowledge is expanded. For respondents at kerbinamount.com, should you wish to take part? Anyway, it's an interesting week for releases because there's not a lot around. I mean, there's the big floater.

There's a big floater thing, which we'll get to. But is there anything else that we can attend? There is the Nutcracker and the Magic Flute, AKA Shell, Shell, Kunchik, Yvonne, Shibna,

Flittach, You're not even trying now. It's Russian. It's a Russian animation redubbed in the English language, which explains why it is that the mouths of the characters do nothing that relates even vaguely to the sounds coming out. Constructed around familiar classical riffs starting with Chakowski's festive favorite, which has become something of a Christmas tradition. In fact, I think the good lady professor, her indoors, and child one were going to be seeing it today, but obviously on Friday, but can't because of the train strikes. Anyway, so Marie and her mother are in danger

of losing their home unless Marie agrees to marry the, I think he's a debt collector. I think that's what he is. Magically, on Christmas Eve, she shrinks, there's the twist, she shrinks down to the size of a nutcracker, finds her toys come to life, including a ram who talks like Elvis and an ostrich who has his head in the bucket.

I know, it's so familiar, isn't it? Would you like to hear a clip? Yes, please. Here we go. Ready? Is that you? No, no, no, no, no that you? What's up with that guy? Everyone knows ostriches bury their heads in sand when there's danger nearby, and

Earthful like sand seems to have found the nearest object. Uh, what happened are we safe now? Yeah, the coast is all clear, Braveheart. I knew that, of course. Just never hurts to have an overabundance of caution. Better than budding our big heads into foolish situations anyway. But what do I know?

What's that supposed to mean? How are you feeling about it from the basis of that clip? I'm suspecting that it's probably Russian propaganda of some kind of weird or some kind of message. Well, turns out that the Nutcracker is Prince George, with whom the team traveled to a magical kingdom, which is over, overrun by rats, disguised as humans. So look, you know, it's fairy tale adventures mixed with classics on 45.

The animation, as you saw from that, it's just looks like it was way, way out of date when they first discovered CG animation and went, okay, fine, let's do all of that. The whole thing looks like a straight to DVD production. The high point of this genre kind of phrases doesn't really work anymore. That's straight to DVD. Straight to DVD. That's right. It doesn't. Well, there we go. I've just straight to VHS. High spied my own. But, hard. The high water mark of this genre is Barbie Swan Lake. If there are any parents listening, many of them will have experienced the savage wonder

of Barbie Swan Lake, which is classical music reinterpreted in a way that you never imagined possible or indeed in any way preferable. That's a music for modern life. And yet, that's a music for modern life, and yet somehow. So I mean, if this does any business at all in cinemas, it will only be because you have a very young child who doesn't want to see big watery floaty blue thing. I cannot imagine that this is, that there is going to be any market for this outside, the very, it's the vacuum effect. The reason this is here is because there is nothing else. There is big floaty watery blue thing everywhere. And then if you've got very young kids that

you want to take to the cinema, there is nothing else except for a redubbed animation that makes Barbie Swan Lake look like it is in Kane. Right. So funny old week. Yes, all in all nutcracker and the magic flute. Ain't gonna crack it. Well, unless you've got, you know, a foyer, here's, do you want some of the BBFC rating highlights? Do they give it sort of warnings? They do, yeah. So, uh, toy size characters are attacked by a mildly scary rat with red eyes, but together they fight it off. After falling into a river, a person is found unconscious and assumed to be dead, but they wake up.

There's also a comic scene in which a chef chases an ostrich around the kitchen while attempting to cut off its head with a cleaver, but he doesn't. And while bending over to a tunnel, because the nutcracker climbs into this mouse hole, a man tells a giggling female character, there's no need to stare. Yes, I know it's nice. So there's a bum joke. Really? Yes.

In a Russian thing, I thought they wouldn't like that. Other than that. You know, straight to DVD is a bit like someone around here will say, what's a DVD? It's like, who's Tom Robinson? I know. He's so old. Definitely.

So, so old. Definitely so so but but feeling increasingly trim, chipper, and youthful and healthy. As we head towards the festive period. Yes. And still become mark will be reviewing that well floaty blue thing really.

Also, we're doing the unofficial science of home alone. And there is a very interesting short film. Look, the pupils by which which I which I do have some interesting stuff to talk about. Time, well, we'll see about that. There'll be a little bit of judge of us. Time for the commercials, unless you're in the vanguard, in which case we'll be back before you can say Osvaldo Adiles. Happy Nord Christmas! Protect yourself whilst Christmas shopping online and access all the Christmas films from around the globe! Plus, when you shop online you'll have to give

websites your card details and other sensitive data like your personal addresses. Those websites should already have their own encryption built into their payment systems, but to be on the safe side you can use a VPN to ensure that all data coming to and from your device is encrypted. Even if you're using an unsafe Wi-Fi, you'll still be able to shop securely with a VPN. And you can access Christmas films only available overseas by using streaming services not available in the UK. To take our huge discount of your NordVPN plan, go to nordvpn.com slash take. Our link will also give you four extra months for free

on the two-year plan. There's no risk with Nord's 30-day money bank guarantee. The link is in the podcast episode description box. Hi, esteemed podcast listeners, Simon Mayo. I'm Mark Kermot here. I'm excited to let you know that the new season of the Crown and the Crown, the official podcast, returns on 16th of November to accompany the sixth and final season of the Netflix Epic Royal Drama series.

Very exciting, especially because SuperSub and Friend of the Show, Edith Bowman hosts this one. Indeed, Edith will take you behind the scenes, dive into conversation with a talented cast and crew from writer and creator Peter Morgan to the crowns Queen Elizabeth, in Melda Staunton. Other guests on the new series include the Crowns research team, the directors, executive producers Suzanne Mackie and specialists,

such as voice coach William Connaker and props master Owen Harrison. Cast members including Jonathan Price, Selim Doar, Khalid Abdullah, Dominic West, and Elizabeth the Bikki. You can also catch up with the story so far by searching the Crown, the official podcast, wherever you get your podcast.

Subscribe now and get the new series of the Crown, the official podcast first on November 16th. Available wherever you get your podcasts. This episode is brought to you by Mooby, a curated streaming service dedicated to elevating great cinema from around the globe. From my comic directors to emerging otters, there's always something new to discover, for example. Well, for example, the new Aki Karri's Mackey film Fallen Leaves, which won the jury prize at CAN, that's in cinemas at the moment.

And if you see that and think I want to know more about Aki Karri's Mackey, you can go to Mooby the streaming service and there is a retrospective of his films called How to Be a Human. They are also going to be theatrical releasing In January Priscilla, which is a new Sophia couple of film, which I am really looking forward to since I have an Elvis obsession. You could try Mooby free for 30 days at Mooby.com slash Kermed and Mayo. That's M-U-B-I dot com slash Kermodon Mayo for a whole month of great cinema for free. Well, we're back. Well, actually we didn't go away. We didn't go away. She made it sound so we're back. Well, we're back after, you know, because there were ads for some

and there were no ads for others. Yes. And the people are looking particularly smug. They're the ones that didn't have any at all. What did they get instead? Just, we're just moustraised. Just carried on. Yeah. Box office top 10 coming up in just a moment. On last week's, well, one of the streamers

from last week, anonymous club. Oh, yes. Branca is about Courtney Barnett, who I love. Branca Dujic, I think that is. Thank you, Branker. I adore Courtney and her music. I like her interviews too. She is so down to earth you can often feel that she is uncomfortable. Yes. I would be the same. She is one of us.

Overthinkers. Therefore, I understand completely and find it refreshing. What does the overthinkers bit mean? Because one of the things in the, as I said, it's not really a documentary so much as a video diary, is that when she's having to talk about things, but she obviously doesn't find easy to do, she says herself that she doesn't. She tends to overthink any situation, you know, and get sort of tied up in her own thoughts. And what's really fascinating about her is that when she writes songs, the songs convey what she's thinking much more eloquently than she does in composition.

She says herself, that's why I don't particularly like doing interviews, which is why the thing ends up being a video diary, because it's meant to be sort of taking the pressure off. I love her music, I absolutely love her. Did you do what I asked you to and go away and listen to it? I did not know, you didn't. I had other things to do. But yeah, when I came around to your house last night, you were listening to Mark Noppler.

I was, that's right. You could have just maybe listened to a bit of Courtney Barnett just for home work. Absolutely not. Okay. No. Lately to do that between now and next week's show. I wouldn't think so, no. Really?

No. Unless you remind me. Okay. Which case. It's almost like I've got other things to do to watch. How is your opera doing? Well, I don't know yet, because you've got to suit in a bag with you today. I have, because you're going.

I've got a big fundraiser, Christmas Gala, Dennis Wanky-Doodle-Dandy affair, in which people say, Tell us about your opera, and I'll go, I wrote the story, but I can't tell anything else. But it'll be great, you know, and for the opera Holland Park people are nice people. Well, you know what I will be doing? I will be driving home through sleep and snow whilst listening

to Courtney Bynett. Well, with that thought in mind then, let's look at the box office top 10 at 31, Nocebo, Andrew Wile. Hello dear doctors from emergency medicine, on-play. Haven't heard anything about this yet. Look forward to discovering more this week. I thought I might add a little to the discussion of mysterious illnesses,

which is where we were very much, which is where we were very much, which is where we very much were. Can I just say if you haven't heard anything about this film, then check out last week's podcast in which we do a full review of Nosebo. Yes. Strictly, Nosebo is the opposite of the placebo effect, where physical symptoms are produced by an usually inert substance.

No SIBO is an important part of many drug trials with reasonable rates of adverse effects being seen with the placebo drug and given adults always think medications will taste bad, produced negative results. No Cibo adds to the positive placebo effects of many current and prior dubious therapies. In my training a long time ago, these mysterious illnesses were referred to as mups, M-U-P-S, standing for medically unexplained physical symptoms. There's probably a more current phrase now, but stuck in my terminology. Mups can range from

truly mysterious new diseases, or your doctors just missed the boat through true physical symptoms caused by psychological distress to the malicious causes, such as a factitious disorder. What would be a factitious disorder? I don't know, I've not heard the word before. Factitious. You're in a Google it? No. Let's carry on. Andrew continues with his final payoff paragraph.

Okay. In terms of film suggestions, that it depends on where on the spectrum of symptom causes you want to place yourself. Many films will start with mysterious viruses affecting the world, including much of the zombie genre. Psychological distress producing physical effects is a common theme in films. And even Regan in the exorcist early on could be counted as having mysterious symptoms. Yes, that's right, because they spend a lot of the exorcists attempting to diagnose her as having, you know, either a somatic disorder or a, something like lesion in the brain or a factitious disorder

in the, and Friedkin always said the reason that he cut that stuff down in the edit of the exorcist is he said the film is called the exorcist. They know she's not ill. Very good. We're just getting important directive here. Say, okay, so this is a factitious disorder. Say it again and I will repeat word for word the voice in my head. Factitious disorder is a serious mental disorder in which somebody deceives others by appearing sick, by purposely getting sick or by self injury. That is a factitious disorder. It's not a word I've heard before.

And that is why this show is such good value because even though you don't ask for medical knowledge, we give you medical knowledge. I'd like to just say, if you'd said yes, well, I said, shall I Google it? I could have just read that off of Google as well. Yeah, but it sounded somehow more authoritative, coming from the voice in my head. Okay. At number 23, the Silent Twins, which I liked, I mean, it's,

the story is really interesting. And what I like about the film is that it takes a very adventurous approach to telling the true story of these twins who spoke only to each other. And the film does a very good way of taking us inside their private world in the same way that I'd say that Heavenly Creatures, the Peter Jackson film does. It uses animation and music and dance,

and it's very adventurous in bringing us into their world. And I think this kind of story needs that kind of adventurousness to work. Peter Sisson, I think that is, he says silent twins, it's a really inventive retelling of a true story that uses their own words to bring life to the girl's imaginative secret worlds. Anyways, number 23 in the UK.

Not charted in the US. Number 10. Top Gun Maverick is back. Which number 13 in America? Off the back of your interview with Jerry Brookheimer. People heard that. Absolutely. They rushed back to the cinema.

Straight back into Odin's screen 34. I just say that variety is currently saying that it is actually very possible that top gun Maverick will be a best, a serious best film contender. Not just, oh, it might sneak in a serious best film contender. I think that seems fair.

Well, that would be unusual in terms of the Oscars, but there we go. Anyway, so, but why would it be back at, apart from the Jerry Brookheimer interview? I can only think that you did it. You willed it into existence. Thank you. Number nine, the polar express. Back. It's the reissue of the polaric.

Because it's Christmas, it always gets back into cinemas around this time of year. But that's interesting that it has enough people, because obviously you can get it on the small screen. Yeah, but people like to see it on big screen 3D, you know, and all that stuff. Oh, I see, is it a 3D? I don't know. I mean, I'm just, I mean, I, I don't know which format it's in. It's been in many formats. I don't, I don't actually like any of them. I don't, I don't like polar express. Well, it's a number nine. It was the thing, yeah, it was, you know, performance capture. Anyway, there we go. But the nice book, the book is a nice treat to read to your young child. But at number eight, number eight, not childhood here, but at number eight in the UK,

the Muppet Christmas Carol 30th anniversary. Again, we with the missing song put back in again. And child one went to see it at the Prince Charles to a sing along and absolutely loved every moment of it and it's a joy and a treat. And so there is a retro feel to this chart. Well it's Christmas, that's what happens. And number seven is Home Alone. More of which a little bit later on because we're going to be talking about the official science of Home Alone. But again, as you said, it's Christmas, it's a Christmas favourite. It's back in Shulamaz.

I'm not sure. Because number six is elf. I'm not sure that in the box I always top 10 of Christmas, you get four completely re, I wonder if that's testament to the fact that there isn't a lot of great new stuff around. The fact that four old movies have got back in there. I think that speaks for you.

So elf is at six. But again, none of those charted in America. But that's a UK thing. Yeah, because it's a UK thing. The menu is at five, which, as we've said before, is kind of refined in enjoying himself as a celebrity chef on an island who invites a whole bunch of people to come to his special meal preparation

in which they discover that they are part of the menu. And his number four in America was doing very well. Strange world is at four here, number part of the menu. And it's number four in America, which do very well. Strange world is at four here, number three in the state. Which I think is largely notable for its design. It hasn't done anything like the business that I think Disney thought it was going to do. It's got a kind of retro feel to it, journey to the, anyway, it's, again, this is the vacuum theory

because it's entirely possible that next week in the anyway, it's again, this is the vacuum theory because it's entirely possible that next week in the charts, you may get a top end entry for the Nutcracker and the Magic Flute. Number three here, number two in the state's violent night, Mr, this is from our YouTube channel, Mr A51, which makes it sound like like a trunk road. I saw it last night. I loved it. It's like nobody meets a violent home alone. In fact, it feels like an 80s movie on the whole, but with the gourd dialed right up some great lines in there, but I had us all laughing out loud. You'll find yourself laughing at the most ridiculous violence as well. It definitely doesn't take itself too seriously and it's much better for it. Is it leguzama? John leguzama?

No, it's not. Hambs it up to the max, David Harbour is brilliant. Soundtrack is great too. If you want some OTT Christmas fun, firmly tongue in cheek, then go see Violent Night. Well, again, it's kind of another nod to Home Alone. Again, I said, we're going to be talking about the unofficial science of Home Alone a little bit later on. It's basically Home Alone meets Die Hard, meets Silent Night, Deadly Night, and it's completely ordinary, except

I did chuckle my way through it. It's not going to become a career, it's not like clamp bus, but it's, you know, it's kind of fun if what you like is the idea of Santa Claus beating up Hans Gruber, although it's not actually Hans Gruber. American number one, number two here is Black Panther or Canada forever. Have you yet got to the... Now I'm waiting waiting for child one to re-enter the country. Oh, so they're going to... Then you're going to go try and watch.

Okay, so I look forward to your review of the whole film as opposed to the first half of the film before it broke down. Yes. In Holland. I've seen the whole thing in context. It was Denmark actually, but you know, that being part of Scandinavia as opposed to Holland, what ain't? As established many moons ago. That's the money. Number one is Matilda, or Roll Dole's musical. Roll Dole's Matilda, the musical. Which is not really, that sounds like a contractual discussion. It does, it's a bit. It's like Francis Ford Coppola's Bram Stoke as Dracula, which was one of the great ownership titles. As we've said, I still haven't seen the musical on stage, which I would very much like to. Obviously, we've had a discussion about the problems of Roldole himself, but I think it was, did you say it was David Badil?

He said, whatever his personal politics may have been, he was still... He's still, you know, still, I think I'm fairly certain I'm remembering this right that David still thought the role dull was the greatest writer of children's. And this is a sprightly screen adaptation of a musical which has been a runaway success, but the one thing about watching the film was it did make me want to go and see it on screen. I think Emma Thompson is enjoying herself enormously in this film. Emily Colley, heritage listener, second place in the Finlay Holiday Park costume competition in 1998. I will start by saying I'm a huge fan of the West End show of Matilda,

even seen it a fair few times. The beautifully updated story by Dennis Kelly and the brilliantly clever music by Tim mentioned, keep me going back time and time again. I'm a bit sad to say I didn't love this adaptation. Was the cast were all great, especially with the insanely impressive choreography, and it was really nice to see such a diverse cast for once. There was just something about it that left me a bit cold. Emma Thompson was a fantastically terrifying truncheball. LaShana Lynch made a wonderful kind Miss Honey, and the children were all fantastic. I felt Stephen Graham was an odd choice for Mr. Wormwood. Why? There was just something flat. I'm just

I'm just really thinking. There was just something flat about his character, and a lot of the comedic moments or opportunities for comedy just didn't hit the mark. Oh, okay. Can I just disagree? I thought Stephen Graham was great. And he looked like Noel Edmonds. The same goes for Andrea Rysbrett as Mrs. Wormwood, lifter out of the film and there isn't much you'd miss. They are supposed to be the light relief of what is actually quite a sad and scary story, but they just fell short.

Maybe, Rio Pellmann and Danny DeVito left shoes that were just too big to fill. Well, that's definitely true. Or maybe it was the editing of two and a half hours show down to just under two hours, they left them feeling a little hollow and the feeling that there was something missing. The thing that left me feeling the most sad about this adaptation is the use of a fat suit for Bruce Bogtrotter. An O-Bruce Bogtrotter is described

as large and round. In the act two, played him is undoubtedly very talented. But why? In 2022, we're still using fat suits to depict larger characters. Without a shadow of a doubt, there is a young boy out there who is just as talented, but has a larger body who could have played him just as well. Why are we still not using fat people to depict fat characters? Says Emily Colley. Well, to add insult to injury, the fat suit looked like the wardrobe department just shoved some spare clothes up his jumper and were done with it.

And the actors clearly skinny legs and skinny out of proportion face on show, he became a character of a fat person, a large round bulbous tummy, but not an ounce of other fat anywhere else on him. And it pulled my focus on so many occasions, it dragged me out of the fun of the film. All I have to say is that on the subject of actors with fat suits, the lead for the lead contender for best actor at the moment is Brendan Fraser for the whale. And obviously there's been a lot of discussion about that as a result of it.

I haven't seen the film yet, but I've heard very, very divided opinions, so I'm very interested to see it. This is from Stephen and Ruby Lavity. In Edinburgh, I just wanted to share the pleasure that my family experienced through my daughter's most recent cinema visit. My daughter Ruby is seven years old and a member of the 155th Edinburgh Rainbows.

Along with her fellow rainbows and many other members of the Guiding Association, they attended a 9 AM screening of Matilda at the Odin cinema. Ruby and her friends had a wonderful time, enjoyed the film very much, and also enjoyed the non-code compliant popcorn and sweets. They received an official guide badge to commemorate the visit, which I think is fantastic.

It's a great thing that the guides arrange this as it supports cinema and introduces and encourages the fun of sharing in the enjoyment of seeing a film in a group of friends. I want to thank everyone involved in organizing this theodian and the volunteers that keep Rainbows brownies and guides going for all the girls. I'm looking forward to reading Ruby, the Matilda book now, all the very best. That's a great idea to go as a group and a bunch, witness a movie with each other, which is going to be a far more fun than witnessing it on your own in your house.

Yeah, absolutely. Absolutely. The communal experience is part of the point. Now, let's introduce you to our special guest. Oh, who's decided they're too busy. Well, I tell you what. Do you want to just ask me a couple of questions? Well, no, because I think he that we should get on with a review of something apart from

you know, my moment then. How is it? Well, hi Mark, where are you? I'm here, right opposite you. And what are you planning on doing next? Gonna review a film. Okay. Actually, I'm not, I'm gonna review a television program.

Why okay? Tell us about the television program. Okay, so on Skymax, there is this thing, the unofficial science of Heimelone, which we have now mentioned several times. We have. Heimelone, the 1990 comedy written by John Hughes, directed by Chris Columbus,

who of course then started the Harry Potter movies. It was the second highest grossing film of the year behind Ghost, the year it came out, and the highest grossing live action comedy until the hangover two. Wow. Wow. Really weird. And McCauley Culkin is Kevin, kid who gets left home alone when his parents go on holiday. Oh, I see. The luggage and the exit of the thing. And then there's all the stuff about the blah, blah, blah, blah. Joe Pesci and Daniel Stern are the people who try to break into the house, only to be thwarted by a Kevin with BB traps. Incidentally, home alone is preceded by a 1989 French film.

I mentioned this in secret of cinema called 361615, co-paired Noelle, which has a young boy attempting to protect his home from an invade address to Santa Claus, which clearly you could see as being some kind of predecessor to home alone and there was allegations of plagiarism. Also, home alone owes a debt to Sam Peckham Pals, West Country, Weston, straw dogs, in which Susan George and Dustin Hoffman are hold up in a house in Cornwall, which is being besieged, which they then have to kind of fend off the invaders with DIY. Is it because they got a set as their second home and they need to get out.

No house prices. Although weirdly enough, the house that they filmed in is now a rentable place. So actually, yeah, go, what a strange thing. Anyway, so now, Guss Khan and James Acosta are in a replica of the home alone house and the premise is that they are there to find out how dangerous the booby traps set by Kevin really are. Oh, they are very.

And to find out if there's any way of getting around them. So, you know, question is, you know, is being hit in the face with a, you know, with a tin bucket, is that dangerous? is, you know, he's being hit in the face with a, you know, with a tin bucket. Is that dangerous? Yes. He's being electrocuted dangerous. Yes, he's a tennis machine

to see what a little electrocution sounds like. He's falling off a zip-wire loop. Absolutely. Here's a clip from the unofficial science of home loan. James E. Castor and Gers Khan have been left home alone. You believe Sky-A-Belt us are very own. Home alone inspired house. Oh! Oh, the name of science, of course. You believed Sky-a-built us a very young home alone inspired house

All the name of science of course We're talking rain damage so our outage brother six out of tips from those who know I'm here to meet Marvin self Daniels third Just be a Christmas to remember you in this together the unofficial site of of hormone Monday, 19th of December on Skymax. Dr. Zoe Loughlin, I believe, was your expert there. And of course, I immediately went blow torch to the head. That's five words. Oh no, blow torch is one word.

But then that's, you know, that's just me. Meanwhile, Alex Brooker goes to the US meets Daniel Stone. Also meets the stunt guy who does many of the memorable prepfuls, including Daniel Stern playing who was Merv in the... Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, Merv. Merv, Merv, him, including the prattful of the full backfall when you know, you feed slip right up and you come back down, which they refer to in the in the program as the home alone fall, which I mean, I had always, you and I did a piece some time ago when there was a documentary that came out about Buster Keaton, do you remember this? You interviewed

the very very famous person, Buster Keaton, I knew Buster Keaton, but because he was a silent movie star, he didn't say anything. Great, one of my great interviews. And we were talking about the mechanic, Peter Bogdanovich. We were talking about that, nobody said that in my head instantly, my head just found that. We were talking about the way in which the slapstick of Buster Keaton is extraordinary, because it looks like

you are going to get, it's funny, because it apparently has like a cartoon logic to it, unbelievably dangerous, and physical things happened to Buster Keaton. And then he carries on. because it apparently has, you know, it's like a cartoon logic to it. Unbelievably dangerous and, you know, physical things happen to Buster Keaton. And then he carries on and that's what makes Slapstick funny. Of course, if you read about the histories of Buster Keaton and Harold Lloyd

and all the rest of it, you find that during many of those stunts they did actually injure themselves quite badly, but being troopers, they just carried on. So, Slapstick is funny because it's physical and because it's a kind of physical version of a cartoon and it goes back to the very, very earliest silence in a month and I love slapstick and I like home loan very much

because I like a good bit of slapstick. It is, however, no surprise to learn that almost everything that happens in home loan is leafily dangerous. That, in a way, that's the point of slapstick. The point of slapstick is it's the dang, everything that happens in home alone is lethally dangerous. In a way, that's the point of slapstick. The point of slapstick is it's the dang, it's the anvil being dropped on the,

Wily Coyote's head, it's Tom and Jerry and Tom running into an island. Precisely so. So in a way, the kind of premise of the unofficial science of home alone, how much of this stuff would be dangerous? Well, all of it. How can we get around some of it?

Well, in the case of electrocution, where rubber gloves, or don't break into Kevin's house, which seems to me to be, what I'd like somebody to do is the unofficial science of straw dogs and see whether it would actually have been possible for dust in Hoffman and Susan George to have seen off the invaders in deepest dark is Cornwall, armed only with some nails and a pan of boiling water.

My guess is no one's going to be making that for Christmas. No, my guess is that's not going to happen. Although I did make a very good documentary about straw dogs called Man-Trap. I look forward to accessing that on a channel of... It's on YouTube. Is it? Oh, okay. I look forward to finding it on YouTube. Meanwhile, meanwhile, the unofficial science of home alone is on Sky Max. It's the ads in a minute, Mark.

But first, it's time, once again, to step into the very entertaining realm of our laughter lift. I do. Oh, dear. Going up. Mark. Simon. I've been having a little digestive problem.

I've been having a little digestive problem. I've been having a little digestive problem. I've been having a little digestive problem. I've been having a little digestive problem. I've been having a little digestive problem. I've been having a little digestive problem. Going up, erm, Mark. Simon. I've been having a little, a little digestive problem this week. Not the best time to tell you when we're in the lift. Anyway, sadly, due to being gripped by an uncontrollable thirst, whilst at a christening, I washed down my laxative tablets with some holy water. I think I'm about to start a religious movement.

Pass me the crowbar. I'm in trouble again with a good lady's ceramic sister indoors. She complained this week that I never buy her flowers. I didn't know she saw flowers. I thought, hey! I thought it was some kind of pottery. Anyway, you live and learn. As you know, Marcam friends with lots of top pop stars.

Yes. And sometimes they come and stay the night. I had a very disturbing Dickensian vision this week. I woke up in the middle of the night to see not the ghost of Christmas past, Marb, but Gloria Gaina herself, standing right there at the foot of my bed. At first I was afraid, then I was petrified. I mean, I was still me, didn't I?

I think that's quite good, actually. Very good. What are you going to be doing next? I'm going to be reviewing big blue floaty smurf things and Lait-poupilet. Lait-poupilet. Lait-poupilet. Lait-poupilet. She's very Italian and not at all French. The pupils. floaty smurf things and le pupile le pupile

She's very Italian and not a tall friend Back after this unless you're a vanguard easter in which case your service will not be interrupted Holt Renfrew is sharing joy for the holidays with gifts for everyone on your list and maybe even a special treat for yourself too Discover the new collection for Burberry by Daniel Lee. Add some ambiance with Louis Vey home. Give Gorpkora a try in Solomon's sneakers, and so much more. Whatever presence you pick, we know they're going to love them.

Visit a store today or shop at HoltRenFrew.com. With banking packages from Scotia Bank, you can put money back in your pocket. That's how Marcus was able to invest in everything he needed to launch his podcast. About his pets. Welcome back to PetGasd! Visit Scotiabank.com slash welcome offer. Scotiabank conditions apply. Right, email time. Yours to Correspondence at CormornaMair.com.

Lorna has emailed from Nolthly House School. I write an e-newsletter for all our parents, supporters and volunteers, and always ask the teachers to send me photos and examples of our students' work to share and make the news letter more interesting. One of our students has taken to writing a couple of reviews. One of her favorite films is Wall E. Okay. Excellent. So here is the essay. Okay, very good. Very good. Which comes from Tierney. Why Wall E is better than Ratatouille? That's the title of the piece. Okay. Like this or Ratatouille. Firstly, Wall E is beautifully animated. It's, it is Pixar's most inventive film to date. The post-apocalyptic world is 100% convincing. It has got trash on it.

All the people live in this spaceship and there is this corporation called BNL who are polluting the world. I always thought the spark that means them kissing was a cute detail. Wally and Eve are the best Pixar couple in my opinion. That's a good airy cool. I like the beginning song put Put On Your Sunday Clothes. It's like the old-fashioned song from Hello Dolly, playing over this post-apocalyptic world, which is ironic, because it's a happy song.

It earned $112 million in one week. Who doesn't love this adorable little robot? Also, is the perfect example of Shodown Tell because it has little to no dialogue. It is a unique way of storytelling. The bit when Wally writes on a tree and puts a heart with Eves name and his is super adorable. In addition it gives a good message on the environment like consumerism and pollution. We need to care more about the environment since Tini Wally saves humanity, the final song

hits hard. Thomas Newman and Peter Gabriel really added themselves. It is genius to mix live action and animation. Finally, For Ratted Toe, it's the most overrated and boring film ever made. I don't get why people like it. Okay, so that's, so that's, so Wally, Tierney likes Ratted Toe.

Not so much. Not so much. Not so much. That's very funny. Actually, it's possible like both of them, but... I also think, but I think it's lovely when you're saying that the point of this is, is why one is better than the other. And then there's a long thing about why you like one and then the other one is boring

and overrated. Yeah. Actually, I just didn't like it. I mean, I've only watched Ratatouille the once, which is largely what I couldn't remember what the dish was at the end, although the whole world was screaming Ratatouille at the end of the story. Oh, well, it didn't look like Ratatouille the way anyone would serve Ratatouille. No, and I think maybe I don't know.

I think it's more complicated than that. There's a whole thing going on, but I can't be bothered to go back and look, but I do look, I mean mean particularly the opening movement of Wally, which is just a silent cinema with that fantastic scene from Hello Dolly featuring Michael Crawford. Anyway, so lovely. But you were law-known from Nolsey House School. Thank you very much for getting in touch and Tierney. Thank you very much for your review and comparison of Wally and Rath Tuy. Last week, we touched on this subject of regional cliches in films. Yes. So this is where, if you come from New Zealand, there'll be some things that they always do that are...

And it drives you nuts. Yeah, it drives you nuts. It's always a Yorkshire movie or a film set in Northern Ireland or a film set in Texas. There'll always be a cliché that the locals will go, oh, they're just doing that again. And everyone else is kind of fine with it. And I'd like to say on the subject of straw dogs,

because when I did the straw dogs documentary, which I did do a documentary, I thought, man, I'm not going to be on YouTube. And we did interview a number of Cornish locals who had appeared as extras in straw dogs and all thought to a person that straw dogs had done the caricature, you know, here is a Cornish local and they all kind of rolled their eyes at the exactly that.

It's exactly that. So Veronica McClellan, so in a mark, as someone of Sri Lankan heritage, who calls Australia home now, I can offer two lists of things in films that make the locals cringe. In Sri Lankan films, mother slash wife slash sister leaning on a pillar and sighing long suffering face. What does that can be? What's the leaning on a pillar bit? Don't know. But obviously look out for that in Sri Lankan films.

Also bad guy wearing sunglasses and driving an SUV. I think that's what you're coming. And drunk guy weaving from side to side while shouting belligerently. Again, that is particularly shillankin' I think that's true. In Australian films says Veronica, bizarre small town characters who collectively tick every quirk on the list, men in Acubra's walking into bars, Acubra being an Australian hat manufacturer, they make bush hats out of rabbit fur felt. I'm just explaining it because I looked it up.

Because I didn't know what a Cobra was. Is that, sorry, this is a really ignorant question. What are the hats that have the corks dangling off them and why are the corks dangling off them? To get rid of the flies and muzzies. Right, okay. But I've never seen one. In real life, other than in a film, you would imagine that that would also count as an Aussie cliché. Also, Bas Lermans Australia, yes, all of it. It's an Aussie cliché. Good to

run, I can. Mark and Simon, every drama setting Glasgow has someone who's turned to drugs. turn to drugs. I actually says, turned to they-the-drucks. Perfectly depicted by this sketch from the old BBC series, setting greater Glasgow, Berniston. Okay. Now, on BBC Berniston, award-winning Scottish drama,

The Drugs. Hahaha. What's that? No, Henda. You made my mom his bed. You've done it at all to her. Too many fighting. I blew up off the cat. Ithan ni ydwchwch! Tw i'n menafaitu. A boi a boi a boi a boi a boi a boi a boi a boi a boi a boi a boi a boi a boi a boi a boi a boi a boi a boi a boi a boi a boi a boi a boi a boi a boi a boi a boi a boi a boi a boi a boi a boi a boi a boi a boi a boi a boi a boi a boi a boi a boi a boi a boi a boi a boi a boi a boi a boi a boi a boi a boi a boi a boi a boi a boi a boi a boi a boi a boi a boi a boi a boi a boi a boi a boi a boi a boi a boi a boi a boi a boi a boi a boi a boi a boi a boi a boi a boi a a boi a boi a boi a boi a a boi a boi a boi a boi a boi a boi a boi a boi a boi a boi a boi a boi a boi a a boi a boi a boi a a boi a boi a boi a boi a boi a boi a a boi a boi a boi a boi a boi a boi a boi a boi a boi a boi a boi a boi a boi a a boi a boi a boi a boi a boi a boi a a boi a boi a a a boi a boi a boi a boi a boi a a boi a boiere and I have a ton of the drugs. Swere and I have a ton of the drugs. Swere and I have a ton of the drugs. Swere and I have a ton of the drugs. Swere and I have a ton of the drugs. Swere and I have a ton of the drugs.

Swere and I have a ton of the drugs. Swere and I have a ton of the drugs. Swere and I have a ton of the drugs. Swere and I have a ton of the drugs. Swere and I have a ton of the drugs. Swere and I have a ton of the drugs. Swere drama has someone in turn to their drugs. Yes. I think this might run for a bit. I don't know, let's find out. Dear blue people and Peter says Ross from Conservationist's Corner, which obviously is, you know, is set in East Grinsted. Yes. LTL and first time emailer. I think there's a possibility

of email before, but it would have been a long time ago and I was full T.L. and first time emailer. I think there's a possibility I've emailed before, but it would have been a long time ago and I was possibly drunk. I'm good. I'm full. I'm 43 now and have been listening since I was at university. Happy memories. Anyway, as a proud Bristolian,

although now at West Sussex, according to literally all films and television shows set in the city, whenever any of us need to have an important conversation, we all head up to the Clifton suspension bridge. Apparently you can't move on this historic landmark without interrupting breakups, marriage proposals, threats of violence. This is especially true on foggy winter nights. If you go up there, say this weekend, it'll all be happening.

The bridge isn't even that easy to get to Unless you live in Clifton or the immediate surrounding areas and the parking isn't great either Bristol and especially Clifton has some great pubs just go to them instead especially on a cold foggy winter night kind regards to many I should say the good lady professor her endorses a proud Bristolian and and she has made the same observation, which is, you know, I mean, that said, whenever we go to Bristol, it, there is a part of me because I'm not just, it goes, should we come to the glimpses? You know, it's an amazing feat of text legendary. It is very nice, but there are other places which go, I mean, and clearly every, every

movie that cuts briefly to London has the obligatory bus and the going across the bridge and the tax just outside the house line in and she's on Shepherd and Simon Mark I'm from Auckland New Zealand. Yes, and one thing that my partner and I always find humorous about key we made movies is the unsuttle way of jamming in any Kiwihana cultural. I like that word. Kiwihana. in any Kiwihana culture. I like that word. Kiwihana. Kiwihana, okay. Kiwihana refers to a group of items that New Zealand has claimed as their own. Jandals, I look them up, that's flip flops.

Okay. Kiwifruit, Pavlova, that one can get very political. Busy B and Gumboots amongst others. We see this in Tykerwittiti's hunt for the world of people, wherein the eulogy scene starring Tyker himself, he references Bergerings, a crisp like Kiwi snack that I believe would be similar to what you have as monster munch. What was the reason for the reference? None at all, but I tell you everyone in the cinema got a big laugh out of that, including me. It's not uncommon to insert our pride about Kiwi emblems, and I have to say to the new

pork pie remake, no one in New Zealand has ever exclaimed, I could really go for a hokey polky ice cream. I don't even get that. I'm taking the tongue and down with jandles. I mean, so jandles is flip flops. Yes. So clearly it's sandals mixed with a juke. Jim shoes. But it's with a jandals. I mean, I, so jandals is flip flops. Yes. So clearly it's sandals mixed with a gym shoes, but it's with a jam. No, no, well, yes, but it's just, it's, it's, anyway,

I like the fact that Kiwihana references have to be inserted into every Kiwih film regardless. You know, I was just thinking, I was thinking, isn't Jim Nostik's broke with a jam.I.I.I.I.I.I.I.I.I.I.I.I.I.I.I.I.I.I.I.I.I.I.I.I.I.I.I.I.I.I.I.I.I.I.I.I.I.I.I.I.I.I.I.I.I.I.I.I.I.I.I.I.I.I.I.I.I.I.I.I.I.I.I.I.I.I.I.I.I.I.I.I.I.I.I.I.I.I.I.I.I.I.I.I.I.I.I.I.I.I.I.I.I.I.I.I.I.I.I.I.I.I.I.I.I.I.I.I.I.I.I.I.I.I.I.I.I.I.I.I.I.I.I.I.I.I.I.I.I.I.I.I.I.I.I.I.I.I.I.I.I.I.I.I.I.I.I.I.I.I.I.I.I.I.I.I.I.I.I.I.I.I.I.I.I.I.I.I.I.I.I.I.I.I.I.I.I.I.I.I.I.I.I.I.I.I.I.I.I.I.I.I.I.I.I.I.I.I.I.I.I.I.I.I.I.I.I.I.I.I.I.I.I.I.I local to you which and the cliche that is really, really irritating that we might miss. I forgot the call is a malaria, a lairel, whatever. Correspondence at CurmanAmmount.com. What is out? Because we're going to get to that other... We're going to get to the floaty blue thing. La pupile. La pupile. La pupile. La pupile. La pupile. La pupile. La pupile. Le pupile. No, that's certain French. Is it Italian? Le pupile. Le pupile. People's.

Which is a Disney original short film. Le pupile. Which is described at the beginning, rather delightfully, as being clumsily and freely based on the letter, the writer Elsa Moranti, sent to her friend, Goffreddo Fofi. It is written and directed by, and I'm very glad because they actually read this out at the beginning, so I realize I've been saying her name incorrectly all these years.

Alice Rovaca, who is an Italian... What have you been saying? Alice Rovaca. Oh, because I mean, it's spelled the same, but it's Alice. So, who is an Italian filmmaker who made Heavenly Body, The Wonders and Happiest Lats Roe, which we reviewed on the show some years ago. So her work kind of combines magical realism and neo realism, Bonti and her is a big fan of hers. Can you just, sorry to pause?

Yeah, the difference between so realistic. So neo realism usually now to the neo films which have a very realistic kind of documentary feels, if you think about something like Ken Loach, he would be inspired by Italian neo-realism. Magical realism is that thing in which magic appears to be occurring in the world, but not in a fantastical way, but in a way that is kind of oddly natural. So, magical realism is strangely ordinary weirdness. It's probably... Okay. Okay, fine. So, this is co-produced by Alfonso

Juaron who made it to Mamatern bn, Little Princess Harry Potter and the Prison of Razca Man which I think we all agreed is the finest, the finest of them, children of men, gravity and Roma. The film is set amongst the community of orphans in a religious institution. It is a cold and bleak Christmassy. The girls must listen to the radio where we hear reports about how their countrymen are doing very well in the war, even though the enemy outnumber them. A woman played by Valeria Baudin and Tadeski comes by asking them to pray for a man who we think at first, maybe in the war, but the story is then more complicated.

And she at first comes just calling up at the window to the orphans saying, blessed orphans, I'm asking you to pray for my man. And she's told, look, you want to do that. There's a proper channel to go through. Here is a clip. And obviously, as you know, we have made a decision that if we have clips that are not in the English language, we will play them anyway, because it was pointed out to us by a listener that you get something from the tone of the language even if you don't understand the word. So here we go. What's going on there then? So basically there is a... You got a freeze, you know, people...

A tablo vivon, tablo Vivon of the children arranged to Potentiometer me, that is. It's so cool because it looks like a tablo. Arrange in a sort of nativity setting and people are coming by in order to give gifts to the institution and then their prayers will be considered thought about by the children who are considered to be holy so it's a way of kind of intercession. But Andrea Brunterdesky turns up and says, I want you to pray for this particular man who she's particularly interested in. And in order to win their favour, she has brought along with her a cake which she says took over 70 eggs to make.

And everyone says, wow, that's completely nuts. Meanwhile, when the girls were listening to the radio, to hear about their comrades doing so well, at one point the radio starts playing a popular song and they start singing along to the popular song, which the nuns are not pleased about and watch their mouths out with soap, except. So they're actually doing that. Yeah, they literally do the thing that tongues out and wash their mouths out with soap, except for what you

did. Yeah, they literally do think that tongues out and wash them with soap on the thing, which actually was a real thing. I mean, people did, you say, wash your mouth out with soap, you used to put soap on your mouth, never happened to you as a child. I just know it was a figure of speech. No, no, no, it was, you know, bar a soap on your tongue, and then there's a joke about the fact that that's a...

So that happened to you. It did once, yes. What did you say, bum bum probably, or fart, or you know, you'd have to, I'd have to be so mad. Exactly. Something on those lines. Anyway, it's all utterly enchanting.

It is at first a little bit baffling, but in a really delightful way, and the moral of the story, because they actually say it thing, what is the moral of the story? The moral of the story is kind of destiny happens in a strange the moral of the story? The moral of the story is kind of destiny happens in a strange way, maybe sort of. The performances of the kids are great.

I mean, or maybe it's the casting of the kids, which is great. I mean, a collection of faces that embody all the different emotions that the film deals with. It's like 38 minutes long, so it's beautifully short. It has a score that occasionally sounds like a cracked music box. The atmosphere of the institution is really beautifully captured. The whole thing has a really mischievous feel to it.

I was thinking about this in relation to Matilda the musical. It's very hard to capture childish mischievousness properly on screen. This does a brilliant job of it. There's that thing about, okay, we're going along with authority up to a certain point, but then there is also a defiance. And you can read it as a parable about how authority needs to be challenged.

And weirdly enough, I think, therefore this sits very nicely alongside Guillermo del Toro's Pinocchio, which is a story about an unruly child whose unruliness is right, the fact that he doesn't just go along with everything that he's told to do, the fact that what he does is he breaks the rules

because obviously this is a Mussolini era parable in the case of Guillemadoltaura's film. So weirdly enough, Guillemadoltaura's Pinocchio, which is on Netflix, and the pupile, pupile or pupils, which is on Disney+. Are a very, very interesting double bill, and I would suggest that you watch both of them because they both raise very similar questions in a way which is playful and engaging and suitable

for that phrase that I was used, kids of all ages, meaning kids and us. And I think they're both really, really good. I loved Pinocchio and I really, really enjoyed this. Okay, let's do some watch on now. It's for emailing us voice notes. That's what we're after. Maybe it's a festival, maybe a special screening, that kind of thing.

Attach the voice note and send it to correspondentsacermetermayo.com. Like this. Hi, Simon and Mark. This is Paul from the Charity Medi Cinema. We build and run cinemas in NHS hospitals to improve patients' wellbeing through the power of film and the shared cinema experience. This Saturday, 17th December,

premieres have been held in more than 200 cinemas across the UK of the Singalong version of Matilda the Musical, with all proceeds from ticket sales being generously denated by Sony and all the cinemas to support Medi Cinemas work. Please look online for your nearest venue and get yourself a ticket. It's fantastic. We love Medi Cinemas. On great institution. On greatest hits we've got an ad running for the Medi Cinemas work and every time I want to jump on and go, hey this is great. This is great. This is a great, this is a great, this is a really,

really great thing. You can't comment about that kind of thing. But how amazing and what how great also to go to a single-on-version and Matilda because that's exactly what you want. Exactly. I think it's a really, really great thing and yes, that's a fabulous, fabulous. Paul, thank you very much for telling us about that correspondence at covenaumea.com if you'd like to be involved next week or any of the future weeks that we have left. Are we being cancelled? Unnecessarily gloomy. Okay. Send your 22nd audio trailer about any event anywhere in the world to correspondence at covenaumea.com. Okay, this is the moment that we've been waiting for. We already know precisely what Mark thinks about it because of the way you actually say the title.

Okay, well, so we know, there you go, he hasn't even said anything, he's just sidelined as though the end of the world is nigh. Avatar, the way of water. Avatar, the way of water. Avatar, the way of water. So you'll remember back in a previous age, 2009 or something, we had Avatar, the plot of which was, oh, the Navi, oh, in Pandora, and all the bad, the bad people are coming to steal all our unobtainium, so named because it is unobtainment. I always thought that it turns out it's a real word.

A ludicrous thing. It turns out he did not like it up. Sometimes I didn't like it up. Turns out it's actually a thing. Unobtainium is a word that is useful. The stuff which is unobtainmentable. Anyway, all that happened. And I, you know, actually, funnily enough,

I went back and I looked at my review of Avatar that I did with you and I was unbelievably reasonable. I mean, I thought that you think, really, I said things like, well, it does have wow factor and it does have, you know, there are things about the world that you do look around it and you go, you know, so I was, and I'm watching myself doing it

and I'm thinking, Mark, you are being fantastically reasonable. It was like I had actually decided to reign myself in. That lasted about five seconds. So it was a big 3D thing. That was at the point in which 3D or 3D, oh, it's so immersive, the 3D. Oh, we are in the world. And of course, like, you know,

happened many cycles during this history of cinema. I even went 3D. Oh, no, let's go to the back. Why do you say 3D? Do you put on that voice? Because it's a voice of, you know, oh, it's immersive. What is that voice?

What is that voice? It's just a voice in my head. It's just a voice in my head. You should bring it up with your next session voice? Just the voice in my head. It's just a voice in my head. You should bring it up with your next three-seat sound session. I have this voice in my head. You have a voice in your head that explained... Yeah, but she's called Hannah. In fact, oh, fine.

So the voice in your head is fine because she's got a name. Yes. But the voice in my head is just the voice of, oh, the resonance of blood. Anyway. So this was like, this was the big thing that told us what 3D could do and the answer was, not much, let's be honest. Anyway, a decade or so later, we have the sequel.

And in terms of plot, so Jake Sully, who you remember, went know, went native amongst the people of Pandoor and the Nadi, you know, inhabits his alien avatars. And now he and his partner, Natiere played by Zoe Saldana, have, they have raised a family on Pandoor and the stuff is happening. You're teaching the children to fish in the waters of Pandora. Anyway, in my head, they all talk like that, okay?

And then all this a new start in the sky, which must mean the sky people are coming back or dear, what shall we do? Is that Elmo? Is it Elmo in this movie? So because the sky people are coming back, we must give up our three hugging ways and go and live with the water tribes many, many miles away. Italian.

So they run away to the water tribes where they meet the Medcainer tribe. That's how they've got a different voice. And they have their slightly purplier. And the Medcaina tribe children don't initially get on with the blue children or not, because there's lots of rivalry, but then there's gonna be a whole teen bonding thing. And then they must learn, they must learn the ways of the water,

the reef people, and these will involve learning to ride skin wings which are things like up and then they go down in the water and then they go up and then they go down in the water and then befriending a big whale-like thing that's got one of his flippers has been damaged by bad things so it's free willy in space. And then there's some bits in that stuff when they're learning about the water. We haven't got a clip in, so I'm just doing this. Why have we got a clip? Because they just gave us a trailer.

Okay. So, there are... So, anyway, these things happen with a water, a water thing, and we know that the exciting characters go, woohoo! And, you know, woo, yes, and that's a way of going, hello audience, this is an exciting bit because the characters on screen are shouting, woohoo, there we go. And then all that butt, butt, butt, butt, butt is shot lived, it's a very long lived,

in fact, it's three and a quarter hours long. The bad people from Skype are coming with their big machinery and I saw all this bonding stuff will be ting. So here's the thing, I went to see it. I loved it. So I went to see it in the in the premiere and I saw it in the best possible circumstances, which is, you know, in the, you know, the best possible projection of the best possible 3D, the best possible projection of the best possible 3D. I had the wretched glasses balanced on my glasses for like three and a quarter hours. And the film started and it was like,

oh yeah, I remember this, it's smurfed in space, isn't it? Yeah, it's that. It's phone gully. And then it was, oh no, no, okay, but they've left the tree hugging bits and now they're gonna have to, oh, they going to have to learn the way of the water. That's going to take a long time, isn't it? There's a very long time when they learn the way of the water.

What is the way of the water? Oh, no, I don't want that twice again. I just want to know what the, that is it. It's the way of the water. The water has a way. The way of the water. Whoa. Okay.

Holding your breath underwater, befriending whales. Oh, you know, damaged whales. Yeah, damaged whales. Yeah. Anyway, so this thing starts and then, oh, there's a ferrule human child who growls occasionally. And then there's a there's a feral human child who who grouse occasionally. And then there's very little, I think no mention, I think of unobtainium. I think they've just forgotten about that. Or if they did mention it, it somehow passed me by. Anyway, so I sat there. So for the first hour, I thought,

okay, this just reminded me everything that I disliked about 3D and everything that I disliked about. The design of Avatar, because I don't care what anyone says about the visual world of Avatar, the design of the residents of Pandora. The whole thing looks like somebody just looked at a Roger Dean album cover from the 1970s and then took some drugs and went, so there's that, right? So then there's all the set up

you stuff at the beginning. And then there's stuff which I don't want to spoil, but I don't know how it'd be possible to spoil because there's so little, but you know, there are famous actors that you have heard of that come back in ways that perhaps you don't expect them to come back in and I just don't want even to get into it. And then there is the whole thing

when it turns into this teen movie thing about the rivalry between the children of one law and then the children of the other law. And then the one say the children of a lesser god. And then on the other side of men. Children of men. They're never big fire under water. And then that goes on for a very long time. And you think, okay, well, there's going to have to be a bit, isn't there? when then the thing happens and then the sky people and then the bloody bloody blah and then there's a big And then there's and then we move into the third act Who are we rooting for who's side are we on I was rooting for that bit in the in aliens when he says you know We just got a new kit from space and I just kept thinking yeah, let's just do do that. Are we on Kate Winslet's side? Is she a good thing?

It's not really a matter of that, is it? It's a matter of it. It's a matter of, it's a matter of, I just want this to end. And I didn't look at my watch. I deliberately didn't look at my watch because we'd had to put our phones into the watch thing. Anyway, so this goes on, this goes on, this goes on, and then we get to a section which basically takes the third act of aliens and the first act of the Poseidon adventure and the whole of the second half of Titanic and Rams them all together in a way that I think James Cameron imagines in some world maybe

maybe Emotionally exciting, but in my case just I felt so old. I felt like I was growing a whole new set of teeth. So here is the thing. The film apparently has to take something like two billion dollars in order to break even. I have no idea how it will do financially. I really have no idea. I mean, Avatar was you know, one of the one of the, if not the most biggest grossing films of all time. and biggest grossing films of all time. Avatar, the way of water is staggeringly boring. It is so dull, it is so long, it is so Hondras, it is so utterly without wit or artistic merit. It is a big, thundering, lumbering, tech-driven, wet smurf a haunted boreathon that starts, it goes,

whilst the character says, whoa, whoa, the tone of the film is, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, serious, so you know, a bit Lord of the Rings, a bit Star Wars, a bit any other, a bit for quite a lot for Gully, quite a lot poker hauntis, quite a lot camera and every now and then wanting to go back and do the stuff which he, because the thing is he likes human tech, but he's kind of created this

world in which we all have to actually care about any of this stuff that's happening with any of the, you know, the inhabitants of Pandora, which I, which I don't care about any of this stuff that's happening with any of the, you know, the inhabitants of Pandora, which I don't care about. And so I found myself trying to amuse myself by thinking of names, funny names, to get me through the thing. Because honestly, two hours in, I was losing the world to live. It's so, I mean, I genuinely don't know how it's going to do, but I will be staggered if some, if other people find it really thrillingly exciting and immersive. So, here's what I came up with, because I came out of the film, and obviously the reviews

were in bargoed. You were allowed to put stuff on social media, but of course I've come off Twitter because Elon Musk isn't... So, I just texted you instead. Here are the highlights of the things that I came out. As I came out, I came out of the screening and I bumped into A Critic who would really like the first film. And he looked at me, I went, don't.

And he went, it's all right, I hated it too. I was like, okay, fine, it's not just me. Here we go. Alternative titles for Avatar Tour, the way of water. Ooh! The Pousnordan Adventure. Good. I saw all these on my van. You didn't see all of them. Some of them. I saw the ones you said.

The Pesnordan Adventure. A bigger splosh. Mm-hmm. It's good with that. Free Silly. Okay. Fern Dully. Jurassic Water Park. Very pleased with that. I. Very pleased with that.

I was very pleased with that. Lord of the Water Wings. Okay, that works. My favorite, Rising Damp. I haven't seen the film. I don't know. Is it? Rising Damp's two shows.

It rigs me. Okay. Finding emo. Yeah, well, that was your voice. That was my idea. Oh, I find emo. Ever sleep, the way of torture. That works.

And my two other favorites, and you cannot, you cannot bleep these. You said, is it like Das Boot, and I said, Das Poop, and my favorite, itanic? Well, let's see if you get away with that. It's staggeringly dull. Correspondent to Kevin and Emerald Carl. It's so full of itself, it's see if you get away with that. It's... Daggeringly dull. I realize it. Correspondent to Kevin Emerald, it's so full of itself, it's so long.

It's so full of itself, it's so long. That's the end of take one production management general or our staff was mainly impressed. Cameras Teddy Runny, videos by Ryan Amira, studio engineer Josh Gibbs, film Rod and was the assistant producer. Best researcher, Sophie and Anna Tull, but was the producer Simon Paul, was the react not that he bothered to come in because the train's trying. Mark what is your film of the week? Oh, it's Avatar way of water. Thank you very much. Thank you for listening. Is there anything else you want to say there?

Is there one film of the week is? Go on. Jeremy. Which isn't out, so that doesn't count. So I'll say it's Avatar. It's just pupilay. Thank you. That's better. Thank you for listening. Our extra takes with a bonus review, a bunch of recommendations and even more stuff about the moves. Cinema, IJ, Centelevision will be available on Monday. Have you got a bus to catch?

Well, we are 12 minutes over. You can't cut any of that as comedy gold. You cannot cut any of that. Well, it was supposed to be 24. you