Kermode & Mayo’s Take - Ghostbusters: Frozen Empire, Immaculate & Late Night with the Devil

Episode Date: March 22, 2024

No interview this week, but even more witterings from your favourite duo for your trouble. Mark gives his thoughts on new releases, including ‘Late Night with the Devil’, a found footage horror, which sees a 1977 live television broadcast go horribly wrong, unleashing evil into the nation’s living rooms; ‘Immaculate’, a Sydney Sweeney-starring horror about an American nun who heads to a convent in Italy only to discover that her new home harbours a sinister secret; and ‘Ghostbusters: Frozen Empire’, the latest instalment in the supernatural comedy franchise, which sees Ghostbusters new and old join forces to protect their home against evil forces and save the world from a second ice age. Plus, Mark and Simon keep us abreast of the cinematic events happening around the country. Timecodes (relevant only for the Vanguard - who are also ad-free!): 08:38 Late Night with the Devil review 19:25 Box Office Top 10 39:08 Immaculate review 45:56 Laughter Lift 52:01 Ghostbusters: Frozen Empire review 01:00:13 What’s On You can contact the show by emailing [e-mail] or you can find us on social media, @KermodeandMayo EXCLUSIVE NordVPN Deal ➼ https://nordvpn.com/take Try it risk-free now with a 30-day money-back guarantee! A Sony Music Entertainment production. Find more great podcasts from Sony Music Entertainment at sonymusic.com/podcasts and follow us @sonypodcasts To advertise on this show contact: [e-mail] Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Mark, I was rewatching The Wolf of Wall Street just the other day and I thought to myself, yes, wouldn't it be good to make all that money without doing, you know, all that bad stuff? It certainly would, Simon, without the bad stuff. Yes. Well, Mark, after the film finished, I hopped onto the internet, as you do, and I found this site called Shopify. Have you heard of Shopify?

I think I might have done, but tell me. Well, Shopify is the all-in-one commerce platform to start, run or grow your own business. Yes, I have heard of Shopify. It's the commerce platform revolutionising millions of businesses worldwide. That's right. Whether you're selling Danish pastries or cherry wine, Shopify simplifies selling online and in person so you can successfully grow your business. Full of the industry-leading tools ready to ignite your growth, Shopify gives you complete control over your business and your brand without learning new skills

in design or coding. And what's lovely about Shopify is that no matter how big you want to grow, Shopify will be there to empower you with the confidence and control to take your business to the next level. Sign up for a £1 per month trial period at Shopify.co.uk slash curmode. Hello? Not Mayo, all lowercase. Go to Shopify.co.uk slash curmode. Take your business to the next level today. That's Shopify.co.uk slash curmode.

Something wrong here. Without Mayo. How are you planning to spend and celebrate the spring equinox? It's today, isn't it? Well, it was a couple of days ago. Yes, today. But when this has just dropped. Oh, we see. It was a couple of days ago.

Yeah. Do you have any festivities? Pagan rites, you know. Do you? Yeah, probably going, you know, I'll go to the Merry Maidens, you know, sacrifice, obviously. Sacrifice the Merry Maidens? You can't sacrifice the Merry Maidens, they're stones. I mean, they've already been sacrificed.

They were a dancing and a prancing as the Sabbath came round. Because the sun is crossing the celestial equator and this feels as though it should be. What, the celestial equator? The celestial equator is a made up thing, but it is when the sun. But it's real. Yeah, it is. And it means in the Northern Hemisphere we are now in astronomical spring, but for our

listeners in the Southern Hemisphere they are going downhill. They're still in the printing. They're going downhill into darkness. But I always thought that the equinox meant equal day and night. The word equinox would seem to imply that. Except that was on Sunday a couple of days ago, and that's known as the equilux. Is that like, that's like the West End, the West End Odeon, and then the West End Lux, which is like an appendage.

Yes, if you go, yes, you want to have, you want to see all the best films at the Equilux. That's very good, actually. That is a good name for cinema. But if you see the sunset today, it's the fastest sunset. Oh, is that right? Literally, you're watching it, one minute is there, next minute. I thought when you were all smartly dressed and you got your swanky doodle dandy suit on, I thought maybe you were dressed for the Equinox. No, so what happened was on Tuesday I was very privileged to do the onstage with David Austin and Natasha Koplinski.

Him of the BBFC. And her of the BB Natasha Goplinski. Him of the BBFC. And her of the BBFC, because she's president of the BBFC. And they were doing the launch of the new guidelines because they've done this, as they do every number of years, they do this extensive research, huge numbers of people, they ask them whether they think they're getting the classifications right. Is this where the Mary Poppins reclassification as an 18 came from? That's right, yes. A hard R18.

They said it was one of the things that came up. And of course, as always, they gave us a very good account of it, which is that when looked at with a modern sensibility and realizing what that word actually means and also the context of the, because the chimney sweeps have soot on their face, so there's an implication that the, because of the word itself, which is a racial slur, has a deeper and potentially more offensive, so it went from you to PG. As they said, it didn't stop anybody watching it. It's not Jim Mee Sweet being a racial slur, but it's the problematic words. No, it's the implication that what might be happening is blackface, because what happens

is that the guy on the Admiral Boom uses a racial epithet, which I didn't know was a racial epithet. I think most people didn't, but it is. They do now. They do now. And the implication was that that's what that gags, and then he fires fireworks at them. What the BBFC said was, look, now that this has been brought up, actually, of course, within the context of modern guidelines, you have to warn people that it's there. So fine. Anyway, but it was, so the thing was I was aware in the suit, but because I come up from way down there, I come up from Cornwall on a Sunday night, if I have a suit on, I can't put it

in my bag because it'll get crushed. So I have to just wear the suit. You must have been the smartest person on the train by a long way. Smartest person on the train by a very, very long way. And then I was going to all these screenings and people were going, why are you dressed for a funeral? And I said, I'm not dressed for a funeral. I'm dressed for an onstage with the BBFC who've just done this thing. Incidentally, headline news, the public basically think the BBFC are doing a good job.

And then by the time I got to your house, which is the end of the second day of the suit, and you said that you are going to a wedding very soon. Yes. And you had asked, we'd been discussing what shirt you should wear, and you were thinking that you would wear a white shirt, but then you had realised that when you go back to a white shirt that's been in a cupboard, it doesn't look any good. You have to buy a new shirt. And this is why I wear black shirts, because despite the fact that the good lady Professor

Herr indoors, you know, thinks that I look great in a crisp white shirt, it lasts about 10 minutes. And then 10 minutes in, it's got stuff on it and it's got creases on it. Black shirt, you can, you know, you can do two days knocking around the the seedy screening rooms of Soho, still looks like a black shirt. Yeah. I just have a problem with black shirt. I know. You're a problematic person. Buy a white shirt. Buy a white shirt. I've got a white shirt. You're a problematic person. Buy a white shirt. Buy a new one. That's what I'm

going to do. You have to buy a new one, put it on, use it once and then throw it away. I think that's what might have to happen. Unless it's a brine nylon or a stay pressed from the 1970s, which were made of napalm and glue and they never had any creases in them. I still have my Brentford Nylons white sheets. Brentford Nylons. I would cut a shirt out of that. And who did the adverts for Brentford Nylons? That would be old Fluff Freeman. And what was his slogan?

But he does say something. He said, alright ladies. Yeah, he says, hi housewives. It's something like that. Stay bright. Anyway, we are reviewing films. We've covered a wide range of subjects before we're... That's right.

BBFC, fascism, weddings, clothes, all kinds of stuff. What are you doing properly? Well, we have an interesting selection of films this week, which I'm very pleased to say. We have Late Night with the Devil, which is a very intriguing kind of horror satire. We have Immaculate, which is the new horror film starring Sidney Sweeney. I went in with low expectations. Were they met?

Hmm. And we have Ghostbusters, Frozen Empire. Actually, you don't need to stay for that review because just the way that you said those words, say them again. Ghostbusters, Frozen Empire. That's all you need to know actually about everything Mark thinks about the movie. In Extra Takes, our recommendation feature, we can watch this, we can not list bonus reviews of…

The Persian version and The Delinquents. Plot Smash, three films smashed together, Mark gets points, or not as the case may be. One frame back is Nunn based horror movies, a niche area. The Departed was a remake of Infernal Affairs. So you can access this via Apple podcast or to extra takes.com for non fruit devices. To a friend of mine asked him about it. If you're already a Vanguard Easter as always, we salute you. Who's this?

Ian, currently in a very warm Austin for South by Southwest. One of the very few people who talks to themselves when in a room with someone else. That's because you're just ranting about something. I'm not ranting. I'm not ranting. I was talking very quietly. Austin. The good lady professor does this. She says, don't get angry. Mark and Simon, thinking about your list from last week, looking for the film with the best cast, I'm throwing out a curveball." So this was

the whole idea being an incredible cast, regardless of whether the film is any good. Yes. And we, you know, obviously there are some extraordinary cast lists. But Ian, currently in a very warm Austin for South by Southwest, is going to suggest the truly terrible movie 43. Oh, actually, that's a good call. Despite the fact this is famously one of the worst films ever made, the cast includes Elizabeth Banks, Richard Gere, Halle Berry, Hugh Jackman, Terrence Howard, Emma Stone, Uma Thurman,

Naomi Watts, Kate Winslet, Jason Sudeikis, Liev Schreiber, Chris Pratt, Leslie Bibb, and at least a dozen more A-listers, plus as segments directed by James Gunn, Elizabeth Banks and Bob Odenkirk amongst many others. Sure, basically everyone involved has completely distanced themselves from it and never wants to talk about it, but there's no denying that the cast is in it. They're all in it. Yeah, I actually did mention that to Richard Gere when he came on. Did you? Yes. And what did he say? It did come up. The bit he's in is one of the worst. He laughed. Did he laugh knowingly, ironically? Did he laugh in the way that Steve Coogan, remember Steve Coogan said that Richard Gere accidentally on purpose punched him because he had once done a routine about Richard Gere

laughing at something that only Richard Gere would ever know about and that that was Richard Gere's default acting manner as opposed to blinking and exhaling. It looks like he's laughing at a joke that none of us will ever understand. He's taken, yes, and he took exception to it and pretended to- Punch him, whilst actually making contact and actually lamped him.

Ian, thank you very much for the email, correspondence at kermade.com. Late Night with the Devil, that's what I'm interested in. Yes, great title. So this is a 2023 Ghostwatch sort of influenced, found footage influenced Australian horror satire written and directed by Cameron and Colin Cairns. This was theatrically released by Shudder, who you'll know if you're a horror fan. So story of a struggling late night 70s TV host who hopes to revive his career with a spooky Halloween

special. He's called Jack Delroy and played by David Dasmalschen, who wrote an article for Fangoria magazine, for whom I used to write, apparently about regional TV horror hosts. And he gets the role of this guy who's kind of a little bit Alan Partridge. So this is presented as kind of the master tapes of this special that went out and ended in tragedy. Although you don't know at the beginning what the tragedy is. It starts with a kind of very good thumbnail sketch of his career, his rise to fame, the fact that his ratings are good but he never manages manages to outdo Johnny Carson's, his wife, and then the loss of his wife to cancer. His

return to TV after that, his desperate desire for ratings. There is also some hinting about a backstory about him being involved with a Masonic cult that meet in the woods where people dress like owls, but everyone says, no, it's just a lodge, it's just a place that people go to kind of hang out. His show is called Night Owls with Jack Delroy. The episode that we get to see is from the sixth season broadcast on Halloween 1977. And his guests, which at the very beginning is a thing with the announcer, and the announcer, because it's a spooky thing, has got a theremin. I tell you this because it'll turn up in the clip, it's important. So the guests include a parapsychologist who's written a book called Conversations with the

Devil in which she has done a case study on a young teenager who was the sole survivor of a satanic church's mass suicide. The teenager who apparently has a demon inside her is also on the show. The stage is set for spookiness. Here's a clip. Now, Lily, I understand that you have a name for this thing that lives inside of you. I call him Mr. Wriggles. Why do you call him that?

He kind of wriggles his way inside my. And then he wriggles his way out. But with... June's help, you are able to control him. June says that everyone has a demon inside them. But we can't always control them, can we? Gus... You're tying me. I got it, Jack. So, the theremin starts playing itself and making oaky spooky noises and everyone's a little bit confused.

Also on the show, if a theremin starts playing itself, you probably stop the show. Yes. And actually during the course of the broadcast, a number of members of the crew go, I don't want to be doing this anymore. So they've also got a mind reader who does his magic mind reading at the beginning and it's all a bit shonky. And they've got an illusionist who's now dedicated his life to debunking para science. And then between the broadcast as it was originally recorded, you get these black and white interstitials

of behind the scenes when they cut to commercial breaks. So the film played at South by Southwest. I knew about it because Alan Jones, you know, who runs Frightfest, said to me, it's a really interesting film. Stephen King saw it and said it was absolutely brilliant. I couldn't take my eyes off it. Your results may vary, as they say, but I urge you to catch it when you can. So went in with sort of, you know, good expectations. The best thing about it at the beginning is the design of the 70s TV show is absolutely right. You know what those 70s TV shows used to look like?

You saw that clip there. It's very, it's absolutely perfect. And the way in which the TV host is a little bit oleaginous, a little bit creepy, you know, the- Nice use of the word. Oleaginous. We haven't had that for a while. Welcome back, oleagin while. Thank you. We haven't had that for a while.

Welcome back. Thank you very much. And, you know, at time, and then they've got the house band who, the house band, having been in a house band in a late night TV show, the house band, not in the seventies, the house band are really, really convincing. And then it sort of becomes, you know, Alan Partridge goes to hell and it taps into the fact, a lot of those seventies, particularly after The Exorcist came out, there was a lot of late night 70s TV shows in America that did stuff about exorcisms

and demonism. I know this because I saw a lot of them when I was researching my books and documentaries about The Exorcist. And there are some nods to The Exorcist. The fact that she calls him Mr. Wiggles is a kind of, it's like a kind of Captain Howdy nod. There's also a little bit of Prano Bailey Bond sensor in terms of that. Well, the retro horror, the kind of, there's something really appealing about the feel of horror from a previous age that you kind of remember, they get the atmosphere

and the texture of it just right. But the best thing is, it builds really well. It starts off as just like a slightly shonky TV show and then things start to go wrong and then they were moving towards the interview with the girl who may or may not have a demon in there. Of course she doesn't because you know that's, or does she? And then, or does she? Well I can't, you know, watch the TV show. All we know is, it's like that I was reminded that thing in Nope, you remember because Nope begins with the show that's gone terribly wrong. But it builds and it builds and then when it needs to go completely bonkers, it's not afraid to do so. So the thing I really liked about it was it's a single location, it's a simple idea, it's

an idea that we have seen before in other films, but it's done very well and at the centre of it, the character of this, I'll say it again, Oli Adjina's TV host, who is absolutely spot on. I mean, I do think Steve Coogan would go, well done. That is a very good creepy TV host. And it's got a couple of nice scares in it. Really enjoyable. Late Night with the Devil. Kind of 15 territory. Yeah, I think so. Yeah, it must be 15. In the new BBFC or the old BBFC? Meet the new BBFC, same as the old BBFC. Okay, very good. Late Night with the Devil.

Late Night with the Devil. Okay, still to come, Mark is reviewing... Immaculate, which is a new horror movie starring Sidney Sweeney, and Ghostbusters, Frozen Empire. We know. What do you think? Okay, Wise Wise Words. Oh dear. In which Mark and I in alternating weeks... clusters, frozen empire. We know what he thinks. Okay, Wise Wise Words, in which Mark and I in alternating weeks have to guess the artist and what used to be a terrible song during the break, but it's now just become something

else altogether. So, we'll be back before you can say. When you're lying awake with a dismal headache and repose is tabooed by anxiety, I conceive you may choose any language you use to indulge him without impropriety. For your brain is on fire, the bedclothes conspire of your usual slumber to plunder you. First your counterpain goes and uncovers your toes and your sheet sleeps demurely from under you.

It must be Flanders and Swan. More in a moment. Mark, I was re-watching The Wolf of Wall Street just the other day and I thought to myself, yes, wouldn't it be good to make all that money without doing, you know, all that bad stuff? It certainly would, Simon, without the bad stuff. Yes. Well, Mark, after the film finished, I hopped onto the internet, as as you do and I found this site called Shopify. Have you heard of Shopify? I think I might have done but tell me. Well Shopify is the all-in-one commerce platform to start run or grow your own business. Yes I have

heard of Shopify. It's the commerce platform revolutionizing millions of businesses worldwide. That's right. Whether you're selling Danish pastries or cherry wine, Shopify simplifies selling online and in person so you can successfully grow your business. Full of the industry-leading tools ready to ignite your growth, Shopify gives you complete control over your business and your brand without learning new skills in design or coding.

And what's lovely about Shopify is that no matter how big you want to grow, Shopify will be there to empower you with the confidence and control to take your business to the next level. Sign up for a £1 per month trial period at Shopify.co.uk slash curmode. Hello? Not Mayo, all lowercase. Go to Shopify.co.uk slash curmode. Take your business to the next level today that's shopify dot co dot uk

Slash Kermode something wrong here without mayor Hey, it's been Bailey Smith here substitute taker and this episode is brought to you by better help now a lot of us spend our lives Wishing we have more time if I had an extra hour Sorted into my day. I actually get through a question smestr you know, it's I can never quite fit the extra shows in. We all live busy lives these days and everything seems to move at a hundred miles an hour so how do we know what to make room for? Like how do we know what's really important when our lives are happening so quickly? Therapy can help you find what matters to you and if you know what matters to you, you can do

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slash curmode. That's betterhelp.com slash curmode. And the answer to this week's wise wise words, which were of course when you're lying awake with a dismal headache and reposes to boot by anxiety. Yes. I used to know all the words to this song and sang them fast. It is the Nightmare song from I, Lenthy by Gilbert and Sullivan. Therefore, not at all surprising that you didn't get it. No, I, yeah. Because unless you're brought up with Gilbert and Sullivan, that's anyway, I brought up with Gilbert O. Sullivan.

Also intriguing, although he did write some of the most miserable songs of all time. What's the thing about when my mother... Alone again naturally. I remember I cried when my father died and my mother railing against the only man who'd ever killed... Yes, and then there's a line something like, thinking I'm taking myself to the nearest tall building and throwing myself off. I mean, it's like, what, what, you know, this is stop.

Anyway, Gilwell is having an eye lengthy. Very nice. Abraham Tilling, great name. Mark and Simon both child one is 25 and I are longterm listeners myself all the way back to your radio one days. Okay. I've never emailed the show before, but last Sunday I think you talked straight to me, Mark. Right. Go ahead. Do you think you do good work? Do you think you are a force for good, Mark? Are you asking this in a sort of funny way? I mean, I've been in therapy for many years. No, on this podcast, are you a force for good?

Probably not. Well, Abraham Tilling might disagree. No, are you a, on this podcast, are you a force for good? Probably not. Well, Abraham Tilling might disagree. Okay, good. Tell me. Last Sunday, I had forgotten that Child One had booked us tickets to see you at the BFI in the IMAX. Oh yes, yeah. We had to move to the IMAX because they're doing work in the national film in NFT One

Monday night. Yeah. Child One, age 25, reminded me, I knew I had work commitments in Birmingham. As I was thinking about how I could let him down whilst cleaning the car with you both on in the background, I don't like being on in the background anyway, you came on, Mark, to talk about how whenever your kids want to do things with you, you drop everything to do it as it is so special. You stopped me in my tracks and I knew you were right that I needed to be in London Monday instead. Delighted to

say child one and I had a lovely night. Oh great. Front row seats at the IMAX. Abraham Tilly. And the front row seats at the IMAX are really front row because the IMAX isn't really built for doing on stage Q&A. And you don't want to be in the front row of the IMAX do you? But you're literally the front row see are almost in your lap. But there is a picture that Julie Edwards, a brilliant photographer, took of me standing in front of an IMAX screen with my image on the IMAX screen.

It's like the head of Zardoz. My goodness me. Anyway, so there would have been two empty seats in front of you. Had that not happened? Had you not said that thing about if a kid says could you come and do this thing? I mean this only applies once the kids are grown up. If they're six, no I'm missing. Do you think you're a force for a good in the world?

Well, I don't have any evidence. I've presented you with evidence. I think you're a benevolent presence in the world. I think the world is a better place for having you in it. That's very nice of you to say so, but Abraham Tilling aimed that comment at you. Well no, I take it very nice. Thank you, because believe me, I've heard opinions to the contrary. Okay, well anyway, but they're all your slate is wiped clean. My slate is wiped clean, thank you. My shall go down. My cup runneth over. Thank you.

Box Office Top Ten at 39, The New Boy. Which I think both you and I like very much. I think it's a really interesting film. I like the, it's not really a magical realism, I like the fact that, I think you summed it up best when you said to Cate Blanchett, we were both very relieved when it turned out not to be the film that we thought it was going to be, because you think it's going to be a film about terrible abuse. Which is what the caption suggests at the beginning.

At the very, very beginning, and then it turns into something altogether more magical than that. Yes, and I suspect stays with you for longer as a result. Number 11 is Fight Club. An indication of the way the world has changed. Fight Club was originally released, cut at 18. Is it a U certificate now? It's a U, that's right.

It's a U, C. They went, it's fine. Everybody can, everyone is fine. Just people hitting each other. I think CB, I think CB did something about it. That's right. They're doing Fight Club, the animated series. Very good.

Wonkers at number 10. I mean, that's its 15th week in the top 10. So wowzer. Oppenheimer at nine. Well that says week 35. Has it been in for 30? Is that right? But if this is the top 40 or something like that, then maybe it wasn't in the 10.

But obviously since Killian Murphy won the year, did you see there was that new story about balloons in Ireland that say the word Killian selling out? Oh really? Yeah, because you could kill it. Excellent. So Oppenheimer's at number nine, the Zone of Interest at number eight, number 23 in the States.

I think it's a really interesting film. You and I, I think there's not really time to get into this now, but you and I were having a discussion just this morning about something that I was unaware of that there has been a controversy about. Jonathan Glazer's speech. The speech that Jonathan Glazer gave. And just to say, if people want to find out more, who would you suggest that they read? There are two podcasts, just if you do want to know more.

There's a very good podcast, which David Baddiel and Baroness Wasey are doing, which is called A Muslim and a Jew Go There. And they really do. There's a very, very good discussion and David Baddiel does set out linguistically and stylistically what he thinks are the problems. And Jonathan Friedland does a podcast, which I think I mentioned before, called Unholy, with Unique Levi of Channel 12 in Tel Aviv. They interview Danny Cohen, former BBC TV executive, who was executive producer on Zone of Interest, who completely disagrees with what Jonathan Glazer said. Anyway, as you say, it's not forced to go into the detail.

If people want to find out about it. If you want to find out more, those two conversations are well worth listening to. Monster is at number seven. Which I thought was great. I met up with a friend of mine who used to live in St Albans and now Duncan Cooper. Oh, Duncan Cooper. Duncan Cooper. Where is he now?

Well, he's here. He was in Sweden, then he came over to visit and we went out for a, and he had a really, really nice time and we went for a meal. And I said, what did you do this afternoon? He said, well, I went to see Coriators Monster, but I was completely jet-lagged and tired. And so he said, I kept falling asleep and waking up. And he said, and the film didn't make any sense because it's all non-linear. And I said, he's always like a kind of Rashomon thing. So he's promised he will go back and see it again, because I think he'll absolutely love it if he's awake.

Michael Shea says, as ever, Coriader's direction was thoughtful and understated. The structure, a sort of reverse Rashomon. Just explain Rashomon. So Rashomon is a film in which the same event is seen from a number of different perspectives, all of which give you the idea that the truth is somewhere between all of them. The structure, a sort of reverse Rashomon, where events are seen from multiple characters' perspectives but becoming clearer and more hopeful over the course of the film, meant that the audience can share in the character's journey. At heart, it's about overcoming fear and discovering what it means to be human. To top it off, there's a great minimalist score by the late Ryuki Sakamoto. Everyone

go see it. Yeah. And of course the score is interesting because Sakamoto was going to do the whole score, wasn't well enough, ended up doing I think it's two piano pieces, but then Coriader used some pieces from his previous album and they work, it works perfectly. It's really, I thought it was a lovely film. Number six in the UK is Drive Away Dolls. The least fun Cohen related movie since Burn After Reading.

It's just rubbish. Luke says, hello to the good doctors. Vanguard Easter medium term listener, first time emailer. I took myself to see Drive Away Dolls on a gloriously gray Monday afternoon in Newcastle despite the rather sour review from my favourite film critic. And I am glad his words did not put me off. I rather enjoyed this fun and harmless road trip film. It's not perfect, as it did sometimes feel like a parody of a Coen Brothers flick, in

particular when it featured the two bumbling idiots in pursuit of our female leads. However, through two very likeable and funny lead performances and a sweet love story at its core, I couldn't help but have a smile etched across my face throughout the short running time which did not feel long enough. Thanks for being the best podcast in the entire world and for helping me through some tough times. P.S. the two cans of G&T that I swallowed may or may not have swelled my opinion somewhat. Also Nick Pocock-

Okay, so just clear. Drive away dolls, see it drunk. That's not exactly what he's saying. That's kind of what he said. Nick Pocock in Minneapolis, Minnesota. Dear, I'm not that clever and I can't think of anything. An email from an expat in the home state of the Coen brothers, just a mere five miles from their origins in Minneapolis, Minnesota, with a very cold state, although not this year. Thanks climate change. We'd get distracted here. miles from their origins in Minneapolis, Minnesota, where the very cold state, although not this year, thanks climate change. We'd get distracted here. At the end of the fine and dedicated

Oscar special last week, I heard Mark say he's off to review drive away dolls. All I can say is sorry. My wife and I rented this film at home with eager anticipation at the promising trailer. First mistake. Second was watching it. What was the point? Still don't know. It was as though I now knew that the reason it was that the Coen brothers are always the Coen brothers is because one needs to reign in the other when it gets a bit too odd. The psychedelic interludes ultimately involving an odd cameo just had me tilting my head to the side like a wondrous dog.

Just didn't get any part. Just didn't get any part. Yeah. No part. I suppose the two leads were endearing enough and you liked the opposing characters, but that's where my praise ends. I would have driven away, but we were streaming from home. At least the drive wasn't too long.

Good luck to us all, says Nick. Blimey, that sounds to those like the end of the world. That's right. Good luck everybody too long. Good luck to us all, says Nick. Blimey, that sounds to those like the end of the world. Good luck everybody out there. Well, I'm going to come back to what I'm now going to use as the tagline. Drive away dolls. See it drunk. Two cans of GNT probably aid most. That's right. Number five here, number four in the States is Imaginary.

Which I haven't seen. They didn't press screen it, but it is now in cinemas. If anyone's seen it, let us know. I will try and go and see it this week, but there's been a ton of stuff to do this week, so we'll review it in the charts next week. Number four in the UK, seven in the States, Bob Marley, One Love. One of the big BBFC stories was the fact that One Love is a 12th certificate film despite an awful lot of marijuana in it, and that is one of the areas in which they have learned from the public that the public are less concerned than they used to be about it.

And so I think 12th certificate is exactly right for one love and that's probably one of the headlines in the new classification guidelines. And in passing for everyone who grew up on Ron Atkinson live in Belfast, whenever I see the word marijuana I always hear him saying Marijuana. If you haven't heard that, that makes absolutely no sense. You say Mary Jane, don't you? That's usually your... Eh? Whoever it was did a joke about how can you tell, how can you spot a plain clothes policeman

at a festival? They're the one wearing plain clothes and saying, hey man, where can a cat cut a reefer around here? Is that okay? Migration is at number three. I'm still so impressed by the email we had a couple of weeks ago from the very responsible parent who took their child to see it. The child found it scary, said I want to leave. The parent said fine and they left and then wrote a thing saying we think the film was good because the scary bit was scary. Wicked Little Letters is still number two. Somebody quite famous, I forget who it was now, said on that social media Instagram thing, I thought it was just me, I think it was from Radio 4, I thought it was just me being stupid

and childish, finding swearing funny, but it turns out Kermode is exactly the same. Sorry, it is funny. Swearing, it is big and it is clever. Depending on who's saying it and how they're saying it. And number one is Dune Part 2. Dunk Part 2. Dunk Part 2. Jeremy and Luton, Simon and Mark, we took the family to see Wonka around Christmas and

we all loved it. Naturally, the kids have since noticed the presence of Timothee Chalamet on billboards for Dune Part 2, prompting cries of look, it's the Wonka guy. Can we go and watch Dune? He is number one and number 10. I impressed upon them that Dune has no cane twirling dance routines and songs about chocolate. It has got big worms. It has freaky space nuns, ambiguous bagpipes and lots of sand.

Nevertheless, they persisted and last week we watched Dune Part 1, which is on Netflix at the moment. So that's an easy hit. To my surprise, says Jeremy and Luton, they loved it. I was of course delighted that they got on board with one of my favourite sci-fi films of recent years, but it does create a conundrum. Now they want to see part two at the cinema. I hear it's darker and the whole experience would be more

intense on the big screen, which is certainly true of any film. Any advice on whether or not to see June part two? How old are the kids? Would it be suitable for a 10 and a 12 year old with a new appetite for more grown up movies? Or to put it another way, what is the key difference here between the 12 rating that part one received and 12A for part two? There is no difference. So 12A exists in cinemas, 12 exists on video.

For reasons of the video recordings act, the 12A certificate didn't transfer but there is no difference at all. And the way the 12 certificate, when it became 12A, the BBFC had originally said they wanted to have a lower age limit of eight, but it was just too complicated to do. Their ruling is it's for 12 and above unless you think that your child is up to it, but below the age of eight, we very, very strongly advise not. So, 10 and 12, so one of them is 12. The one that's 10, it's a matter of whether or not you think your 10-year-old is up to dealing with stuff, which is, it is dark.

Is it darker than the first one, in your opinion? It is, but I would also say that I think it's darker if you're a grown-up, because I think if you're just watching the film from a perspective in which perhaps all the stuff about the religious wars and the bigotry and all that stuff, maybe you're not getting the full depth of it. So that sounds terribly patronizing because actually because people, 12 year olds would read science fiction and get all that stuff. The really dark stuff involves you understanding what's going on. It would be possible to watch the movie and go, wow, big worms, fighty, scary sequence. I mean, actually the gladiatorial match is, I think that's pretty full on, isn't it? That's quite a full on thing. So I can't advise you for

your particular 10 year old, but my feeling is that a lot of the darkness is to do with the subtext rather than splatter or gore or anything like that. What do you think? In an ideal world, I mean you're right, first of all we can't possibly say. I mean you can look at the BBFC and see what they say. The 10 year old is, you know, there may well be some 15 year olds who find it too much. Everything is entirely down to you. The good lady professor her indoors saw it in IMAX and found it completely overwhelming. Like almost too much. I know parenting doesn't work like this, but if you can see it first and then treat yourself

and go a second time with your 10 and 12 year old. Ideally see it first, but I, because there are some scenes where, so the Fremen obviously exist on liquid, which sometimes comes from people. Yes, of course there is that. And there is a scene where you see that. It's kind of in the background, but there is kind of fluid being drained from people. Dead people. Dead people, indeed. Certainly.

By the time they finish. Yes. So, it's a very, it is a tricky one, because the whole point about 12s is that we're on the cusp here, and there'll be some 10-year-olds who will find it very upsetting, and some 10-year-olds who will reach their way through it. And I would say, if you are feeling at all uncertain about it, I would avoid taking the 10-year-old to see the biggest IMAX projection. Because the thing is, it is really, really big. Really really big. So maybe if you want to kind of just quieten that experience down a little bit.

I mean it's one thing watching a film at home on Netflix, it's a different thing being in the middle of the IMAX 70 mil presentation in which you literally, it's filling your vision completely. But that's a big hit, isn't it? Still. I mean I know that- Dunk too is definitely performing the way it needs to perform. I hear that because it costs so much, it's not going to make it. No, no, no, it's doing, it's on course to do very well. And when you spoke to Hans Zimmer and Denis Villeneuve, they were definitely, well, they

were, it looked like they were working on June Messiah, weren't they? Yeah, there was absolutely no question about that because Hans has already started composing the music. Exactly. When Hans starts writing the music, the film is getting made. What are you reviewing in our next fabulous section? We have Immaculate, which is a horror film starring Sidney Sweeney and...

The Laughter Lift is on the way. Ghostbusters. Oh yes. Frozen Empire. You might love it. I think Mark's going to love it. This episode is brought to you by the good folks at NordVPN. Mark, would you say that AI has been one of the hot topics of the last 12 months or so?

I would indeed say that, Simon. We've had writers and actors striking over the potential misuses of AI. We've had many films exploring the topic, including Mission Impossible Dead Reckoning Part 1 and The Creator, among others. We have. And although technological advancements bring with them exciting things, they also open the door to cybercrime. Yes.

And with all these technological improvements, cybercrime will become more accessible to the average criminal and will become more frequent. And I've said it once and I'll say it again, this is why NordVPN is so important. With one click on the NordVPN app you are protected, meaning that you don't have to be tech savvy. Their threat protection feature shields your devices from viruses, malicious malware and phishing sites. Also, one NordVPN account can be used on up to six devices. Plus you can get access to streaming services in other regions, all for the price of a cup of coffee per month. To get the best available discount off your NordVPN plan, go to NordVPN.com slash take. There's no risk with Nord's 30-day money-back

guarantee and you'll help support our podcast. The link is in the podcast episode description box. This episode is brought to you by MUBI, a curated streaming service dedicated to elevating great cinema from around the globe. From iconic directors to emerging auteurs, there is always something new to discover, such as. Well, such as high and low, John Galliano,

which is the thought-provoking new documentary from Oscar winner Kevin McDonald, charting the rise and fall of the fashion designer John Galliano. It traces Galliano's working and private life through the decades, candidly investigating his struggles with addiction and the industry pressure he faced along the way. It features conversations with Naomi Campbell, Kate Moss, Pelle B. Cruz, Charlize Theron, Anna Wintour and many, many more. And it is showing in UK cinemas from March the 8th.

Or you could explore the Women Cinematographers Film Film Group streaming on MUBI in the UK from March the 8th. As women have found more equal footing in the film industry as directors, producers and screenwriters, cinematography remains a stubborn final frontier. Around International Women's Day, MUBI are spotlighting the artistic and technical work of women working behind the camera, including films such as Annette from 2021, Benedetta from the same year and more recently Passages all streaming in the UK from March the 8th. You can try MUBI free for 30 days at MUBI.com slash Kermit and Mayo. That's MUBI.com slash Kermit and Mayo for a whole month of great cinema for free. Correspondence at KbenOmayo.com is where you send all your stuff for inclusion in the

next bunch of takes. Kathleen Sheffield, Dear Mini and Siriz, second time emailer, but never been read out, long-term listener. I am very much with last week's emailer who had mispronounced miniseries in her head. It has also taken me an embarrassingly long time to realise this. We have long had TV series, yes? Then more recently they've been called miniseries or limited series. I always think limited series means it's just this, we're not going to come back and do another one. I might be wrong, but that's what I always interpret that to mean.

It's a mini-series, could be one thing, limited series, another. In my head, it is very much a series that is mini. So when I first saw the word on screen, and typically across the front room without my glasses on, I thought the word was ministries. When I kept seeing the word, I had to Google it to find out what it was. I discovered it isn't two words, and it isn't hyphenated. It is indeed one word. Personally, I think it should be two words and we'll carry on mispronouncing it in my

head forever. There are words that you mispronounce for your entire life because you don't say them out loud. You just read them. Yes, and as the good lady Professor Herr indoors always said, and the thought is not original to her, never laugh at someone for mispronouncing a word. It means they read it. Also, when do you correct someone who is saying some, so I'm sure I've mentioned this before. I used to have a boss at Radio One, Roger Lewis, if you're listening, who then went

on to be head of the Welsh Rugby Union. Anyway. Really? Yes. But he- It's a strange career progression. But he used to say Sky-Fi. Oh, I have heard other people say that. Which clearly, I mean, the word is science, therefore you don't say sky-fi. But he said sky-fi.

But when he's your boss, how many times does someone have to say it before you go, can I just say, look, when do you say that? When do you correct someone's pronunciation? I was told once by, I think it was Kim Newman, that there is a certain resistance in the science fiction community to the phrase, to the term sci-fi at all. But sci-fi is just wrong. I mean, it is- When do you-

I think every time. I think literally every time somebody says sci-fi, you say, that's not how it's pronounced. I mean, sometimes it's- I should say say I never do accents because they're patronising. I particularly don't do accents if they're regional to the UK. Okay? But I need to do a Welsh accent to tell this. Okay. I think that was nicely contextualised.

So go for it. So apologies, but you'll see why it has to be done with a Welsh accent. This is a friend of mine's mother. Welsh family, okay. Serving up food and adding peas to the plate. Right. And she says, you need your petits poiss. Pronounce peas, petits poiss.

And whenever I see them, that's what in my head, they're petits poiss. So that only works in Welsh. That's what in my head, they're pettits poets. So that only works in Welsh. And I apologize for being a very bad, doing a very bad Welsh pronunciation. I have a friend called Charlie Baker and we always used to be a joke about Thaydon boys being Thaydonois. Also, sorry, two things on correcting people. The good lady Professor Herr indoors misuses the phrase, take a rain check.

Okay? Completely misuses it. Take a rain check. Completely misuses it. Take a rain check means, no, not now. Somebody says, you want to go for a drink? I'll take a rain check. Leave it there. Yeah, it means, technically it means we'll do it another time. And the reason is a rain check is if you have a ticket for a basketball, or a baseball match,

pardon me, basketball, or a sports match, and it's raining and the game is canceled, they give you a rain check, which is a ticket, which means you can come back and get into another game. Okay? When the good lady professor, her, indoors says, we'll take a rain check, what she means is we'll check the rain on the day. Let's see on the day where it's going to happen. And I have corrected her so much that I've given up. Now I've just taken it. Okay. She means something else. When she says take a rain check, she doesn't mean the thing that the rest of the world thinks it means.

That's how the English language changes. Precisely. Language is correct through usage. Setting a trend. Absolutely. I'm now going to use it the way she does. Please, let's start. The good lady professor, her, endorses use of the phrase, take a rain check. And the other thing is I heard a very good gag. I can't remember who said it, so apologies to them, which was, I heard my wife misusing the word mansplaining.

I didn't know what to do. Will Barron Very good. Teeing us up for the laughter lift, isn't it? Helen says, having just listened to the 9th of March episode of Take Two, I had to emergency mail immediately to correct Simon and reassure your listener correspondent Lucy that she is not, in fact, the only person who for years puzzled over what a mini-series was pronounced to rhyme with ministries. I have never come across anyone before who shared this misunderstanding, although perhaps even as I write you're being inundated with emails from similarly confused listeners. And I almost whooped with joy when Lucy's email was read out. It's fantastic

when you think you're the only person that's got this thing wrong and then it turns out that like Dilemna, there are loads of people. Biopic. That can people stop that now. And if you say, but if certainly if you say Skyfy, it's just, sorry Roger to out you like that, but you know, that's not a good thing. Tell us about a fabulous movie. Well, tell us about a movie that's... I thought you were going to do The Laughter Lift. Not yet.

We got that after your review. Oh, I see. Because when you said we were teeing it's up for The Laughter Lift. I thought we were going into The Laughter Lift now. We're saving it. Okay. So Immaculate, which is a sort of horror thriller drama written by Andrew Lobel, directed by Michael Moen, stars Sidney Sweeney, who was brilliant in reality. You know, that absolutely palm-sweatingly tense thing based on the actual arrest of

reality winners. She was also very, very good as the bratty daughter in the first series of White Lotus Season 1. If you're listening, Jason, hello to Jason. He's currently filming White Lotus Season 3. He sent me a little video of himself on a beach and said, it's a hard life. I have my own butler. My goodness.

I know. Really? Yeah, precisely. Anyway, so, Cillie Sweeney also co-produces, this is apparently a passion project for her. So, she plays Cillie, who was saved as a child from a horrifying Omen Two style frozen lake accident, goes under the ice, in which technically she died and then came back from the dead. We meet her arriving in Italy where she's going to a convent, a remote convent, which we know from an opening set up is not big on people leaving. She's going there to take a vows and to serve there. The place is strange.

Some of the nuns appear to have cross-shaped scars on their feet. They have a collection of relics in the basement, which they insist includes a nail from the crucifixion. Huge, great big nail from the crucifixion. You know there are many relics around the world. They insist this is that. Then one day she discovers that she is pregnant and she is called to answer herself. Have you ever been intimate with a man? No. It's a miracle. Here's the trailer.

I know God saved me for a reason, but I guess I'm still searching for what that reason it's? Too much, brother of Christ. It's a miracle. You are with child. Out of all the women in the world, why did he choose me? How can we trust what's inside you? So you can see, obviously, I mean, the pregnancy was unasked for, you know, as is the nature of the story. And not entirely welcome. Just in that trailer that we just looked at, somebody falls off a roof.

Again, very- Or jumps, who knows? Precisely. Again, very Omen-y. Some of the nuns start to treat her as the new Madonna, others are more hostile and react altogether more aggressively. Worse still, her health starts to deteriorate. At one point, one of her back teeth falls out, but the people running, the men running the institution, they won't let her go to the hospital. No, no, no, no, you're safer here. You're safer here.

You don't want to go there. Hospitals have got disease in them. And it's almost as if she's become a prisoner. And the only thing they care about is her womb and the fruit of her womb. So it starts off unimposingly as a kind of nunduring style, you know, okay, so it's a horror movie set in a convent and there's quite, quite bang, quite, quite bang. And it's like, okay, fine, I'm not particularly interested in that

because we have done this enough. Then it starts to turn into something altogether more creepy as the plot kicks in. And it becomes this sort of weirdly timely kind of inversion of Rosemary's baby in which someone comes to believe that everyone around them is part of a vast conspiracy in which they are merely a kind of a useful vessel for something that is utterly out of their control. And then it starts to get really interesting and I have to say far more interesting than I expected. Now, pregnancy and horror have long been bedfellows. I mean, the list control. And then it starts to get really interesting. And I have to say far more interesting than I expected. Now, pregnancy and horror have long been bedfellows. I mean, the list

of horror films that, you know, deal with pregnancy, you know, it's alive. I mean, the brood to some extent, I suppose, because that's kind of, it's the children of rage thing, to the devil of daughter, Prevenge, the Alice Lowe film. Mother. Mother. Yes, of course. Actually, that's a really good example. That should have been the first thing. Well done. Well done.

In me reviewing a horror film, you were the person who actually leapt to the most astute comparison. But this really strikes a nerve. How intentional this is, I'm not sure. But if you bear in mind everything that's going on in the US at the moment, with the lunatic fundamentalist Christian nationalists trying to bring about the apocalypse, and literally people believe that what they're trying to do is to bring about second coming because the apocalypse can happen and then all that can happen. Meanwhile, the far right in conjunction with those fundamentalist Christians,

the assault on reproductive rights, the assault on women's rights, the fact that the whole Trump institution and overturning Roe v. Wade, the whole thing is to do with we control women's bodies, we tell women what they can do. In the context of all of that, this becomes something that's akin to a modern parable in the way that the best horror touches a contemporary and very, very realistic nerve. You know, it's about creepy religious nuts trying to own a woman's body for their own ends. There are elements of the omen in there, there are references to other films, but what I really didn't expect was for it to go as far out there as it does. By the end, I was like,

wow, I did not sign up for this film at all. I had really not expected it to go the way it went. Top marks to Sidney Sweeney, who is just terrific. Anyone who sees the film, the final sequence with Sidney Sweeney is just fantastic. It's going to go down as the, didn't you like that movie? Didn't you think that final sequence was great? My friend Linda Marrick, a great film critic who I'm a great admirer of, said to me, I saw this film and I thought this is made for Mark and she was absolutely right. It was so unexpected and in a way it's kind of, in reviewing it I'm kind of spoiling it because I'm saying that I went in to see it just thinking, oh it's a creepy non-movie and I came out thinking,

wow. Is the end as good as the Maud film? Very different but also weirdly again, you've done this twice now, no it's great. Twice in a review of a horror film, you have picked more astute comparisons than the films that I noted down. I have taught you well, young fader. Is that 15 certificates? An 18 certificate for strong bloody violence. And that's just the least of it. Wow. Or a 12 maybe.

I think it's a PG. For everybody. Yes. Ads in a minute. First, it's time to step with Gay Abandon into our laughter lift. It always takes ages to arrive. Yeah, wait for the lift. Standing there. When I come to your house, the train station in your house, not in your house, the train

station near your house, waiting for that lift. Lordy, lordy, lordy miss Claudia. I do that every day. Once a week. I read a whole book waiting for it to arrive and don't do the steps. Don't do the steps and also don't do the, it'll be the other lift first. No it won't. My local underground station is, if you go for the steps, you go, it's fine, I can do this. 270 steps, I can do this. and then people overtake you and you think you're my word I'm old and unfit anyway Mark I watch him I watch the impossible at the week did you affected me really badly so badly in fact that I had to go to the doctors doctor I said I've got a real fear of tsunamis how bad is it he said well it

comes in waves I said again a long walk up the path to get to that. Thank you, but not as long as the steps up the train station. After the good lady ceramicist, Terri indoors almost ruined our recording last week by connecting her AirPods to my recording setup. We had a furious argument. Then a few hours later, I got a text from her

saying she thought we should break up. How relieved I was to get another one a couple of minutes later that said sorry wrong number. So that's fine. Okay now don't jump in here. After your mention of the red turtle last week I wanted to learn more about this fascinating creature so I went to my local bookshop. I said do you have any books on turtles? Hardback said the shop assistant? That's right I said do you have any books on turtles hardback say the shop assistant that's right I said hardback little head out the front and a foot at each corner

at least you held off until I was actually saying the punchline before joining in anyway back after this unless you're a Van Gogh Easter which case we have just one question which charismatic megafauna is smaller than a mouse at birth. Finance for everyone. Everywhere. All the time. Kraken. See what crypto can be. Not investment advice. Crypto trading involves risk of loss. Kraken's registration details at kraken.com slash legal slash ca dash pru dash disclaimer. Drinking a McCafe coffee is a lot like, you know that feeling where it's so good you actually want a friend to get one? That feeling of and getting the last. Where it just hits in all the right ways that you to get one multiple times a day.

Yep, McCafe just shouts, Mmm. Order your McCafe on the app or in restaurant today. Mmm. Must be McCafe. At Participating McDonald's in Canada. App download and registration required. So the question, which charismatic megafauna is smaller than a mouse at birth, the answer is of course a giant panda. What?

A giant panda cub is smaller than a mouse at birth and weighs 4 ounces or 113 grams. Seriously? Apparently so, isn't that a thing? You're a giant panda. How does the panda even know they've given birth? What, you think it might just pop out? If it's smaller than a mouse, then the panda is the size of this table. If anyone would like to explain, if they're an expert in the biology, any vets listening

can explain. Stupid question. Pandas don't, they're not expert in the biology, any vets listening can explain. Stupid question. Pandas don't, they're not marsupials. They don't have pouches, right? Because the thing is like a kangaroo baby, a little, a roo, a kanga, and little roo, this rabbit, this pig, a joey, is born and then it crawls up the mother's stomach and then goes into the pouch, right? Malsupial, yeah?

Why are you looking through the glass at that point? Because you're looking at me like you don't know the answer to this. Correct. No, absolutely. I don't know the answer to any of this. So what happens with a panda? Think about how big a panda is. If a panda gives birth to something that's the size of a mouse, how does the panda even

know it's happened? I wish I could answer that question. If I had a panda... She's thought it followed through. If there was a panda, maybe there are some people who have a degree in panda awareness and feminine panda awareness, and they can speak to this particular issue. I do know that it's quite hard for pandas to reproduce in captivity. Isn't that one of the things that for ages and ages they would get pandas from other sides of the world in the hope that they would reproduce and the pandas just ate bamboo.

Looking really bored. Yeah, going what? If you can explain more about what's going on inside a giant panda, please. Correspondence at CurbInnovation.com. We always firmly believe that we have experts in pretty much every subject. So that's what we want next. If you're an expert in giant pandas and their reproductive system and their birthing canals, if indeed that's what it is, it wouldn't be a canal, would it? If it's like going to be the size of a mouse? It'd be more like a rivulet of water, not a canal. Anyway, do pandas have rivulets?

I don't know. It's probably not. It's taken a stranger turn. Andy Tennant, Dear Buzz Aldrin and Buzz Lightyear, I write as very, very long term member of the church, but first time emailer. What has prompted this need to reach out and make contact with my favorite film center duo? I refer to the new exhibition space in London which is called Lightroom. Situated near King's Cross, my wife Faye and I first travelled from our home in North

Hamptonshire to the venue to see the first event, a brilliant tribute to the artist David Hockney which I went to as well. Was it great? Amazing, yes. We were both blown away by the experience and almost immediately bought tickets to the next event, Moonwalkers. The film is curated and narrated by Tom Hanks. Tom Hanks. And I guarantee will be the closest you will ever get to walking on the moon without actually

having traveled there. The venue is such an immersive experience and is presented in such a way that you can't help but be uplifted and have some faith in humanity restored. That'll be Tom Hanks working his way into your consciousness. Andy, thank you very much indeed. Okay, so there you go. We're doing a review of a venue, and that is Lightroom. It's just kind of north of King's Cross and St Pancras, and it's fantastic. The David Hockney was amazing and very immersive, but if Moonwalkers is as good as the Hockney, then something's going to be right.

You know the reason that I don't want to go to the moon? Because... Elon Musk will be there. Why? He won't... Will he? His rockets might be there. He's not going to be there. He's not very bright. I don't think he would... No, he's definitely not very bright. He wouldn't pass the test. Anyway, correspondents at codemayor.com, thank you very much indeed. Ghostbusters Frozen Empire is out. Or as Mark says, Ghostbusters.

Ghostbusters. Frozen Empire. So this is the latest in the Reborn Ghostbusters franchise, of which I kind of lose track. I think it's the fifth sequel to Ghostbusters Afterlife, co-written by Jason Reitman. So Ghostbusters 1 was a hit, although you said that when you went back and watched Ghostbusters again some years later, you were surprised at some of the material. Yeah, it was just one of those classic parenting moments where you're thinking, oh, the kids will enjoy this. And then you sit down and watch it and realize how inappropriate it was, but you didn't really notice it at the time.

Ghostbusters 2 was a chore and a bore. 2015, the female-led reboot of Ghostbusters was nothing like as bad as the review suggested, but you know, the anti-woke mob, oh, they've ruined Ghostbusters and put women in it. Oh. And then Afterlife, which was 2021, I think, kind of skipped the reboot and continued. I think now when you look it up on Wiki, there's like the original series and there's the reboot and they're kind of separate. And that had sort of started again with like next generation Spanglers inheriting the Ghostbusters manual. I didn't like that at all. I thought it was just nostalgia porn frankly. Anyway, so this brings back

After Life stars Paul Rudd, Carrie Coon, Phil Wolfhard, McKenna Grace, Celeste O'Connor. And it also gives us new stars, Kumana Nanjiani, who I like very much, and Patton Oswalt. Here's a bit of it. For the first time in New York history, a womb full of people froze to death in July. It's an unimaginable evil. With the power to kill by fear itself. Like literally scared to death? Now it's headed straight for us. Is something trying to get out? Many things. It's commanding an army of the

undead. I think we're all going to die. Nothing wrong with the trailer. I mean it's a trailer, you know. Yeah, but there are some trailers that make you think, okay, that could be pretty good. Okay, well, trailer people. Well done. So I'm thinking, I've watched the trailer and I'm thinking I'm going to go in with an open heart. It's fine. Go ahead.

You get the new lot, then you get your old faves, you know, Bill Murray, Dan Aykroyd, Ernie Hudson, Annie Potts, you know, William Rath, all. So, like a bunch of old characters from the old films, and a bunch of new characters from the old films. And so the Spenglers, they're back in the firehouse, they're busy busting ghosts, and ghosts. And Kimonajani's character sells Dan Aykroyd an orb, which he got from his grandmother's house which turns out to be a psychic key or maybe a prison and unleashes havoc which the Ghostbusters are going to have to stop. Every ghost they ever caught is going to be unleashed and everyone's going to die. And then Walter Peck is back trying to stop them, trying to shut down the firehouse, like all those years ago.

And then Phoebe is being told that she's too young to be ghostbusting and then she sort of becomes involved with a departed soul with whom she has a connection. That's a really interesting question. Is this the whole plot? And then Trevor is, you know, he's now he's grown up 18 wants to drive the thing. Right. Okay. So that tagline is about, you know, everything's going to be unleashed and you know, blah, blah, blah. Is this the whole plot? Here's how the plot works. It's literally like they just took everything and just went, just throw it at the wall and see if any of it sticks at all. That thing about victims, what you mean, they were scared to death?

I mean, bored to death, certainly. It's like the scriptwriters just devoured some plates of Ghostbusters stuff and then went, blech. It's just the stuff all over the, none of it makes any sense. None of it is, I mean, I know you can say, well, Ghostbusters didn't make any sense. Well, actually, weirdly enough, for all the things that are wrong with the original Ghostbusters, it did make some kind of sense.

So when the big pastry guy comes up, there's a reason for it, because everyone don't think of anything. I'm sorry, it just slipped into my mind. We've all been that thing. It's like if you say to somebody, don't think of an elephant, they immediately think of anything, I'm sorry it just slipped into my mind, we've all been that thing, it's like if you say to somebody don't think of an elephant, they immediately think of an elephant. In this case, what you've got is, you've got some stuff, you've got some monsters, you've got some famous characters that you loved years ago, you got some actors more recently you loved in other projects, and Bill Murray. And the way it works is, it's just like, we saw all this stuff, there's all this stuff,

there's a monster bit there, and then there's a thing, then there's a joke, then there's a little bit about all the young relationships and difficulties, and then there's another bit and the plot just goes, supernatural chase through city, ghostbuster vehicle in pursuit, huge damage, Bill Murray, attempt to shut down a container, awakening of some ancient force, something else, there's a sight of a new monster. Bill Murray! Oh, there's a live person, but they can be dead for two minutes and they can come back so they can be a ghost and then there's that guy that we like before in the bit. Bill Murray!

Every time Bill Murray turns up, it's just like, Bill Murray doesn't do anything, isn't funny, doesn't in any way do anything of any consequence, but it's just like they're going splat, splat, splats, splats, splats. And you remember what we were saying about quiet, quiet none, right? Yes. This is like boring, boring, boring. Bill Murray! And halfway through, I just thought if you, to call the writing perfunctorily mechanical

would be to insult many perfunctorily mechanical things like U-bends in sinks that are quite useful. It's the thing about watching a movie where you go, no one cares. No one in this is doing this because they think it's a good idea. They're doing it because they're shaking the can and they think there is more money to fall out of it. On the plus side, the anti-woke brigade will be annoyed because it is equal opportunities in its attitudes towards gender and sexuality and everything. Great. What it means is now a diverse range of people now have rubbish movies to enjoy just like

everyone else. It's so depressingly messy. It's just... you just could just pick one of these stories and do that. Or better still, don't do any of it. And as I said, every time, every time, Bill Murray, it's not enough. How many times did you laugh? None. Never. Not once. Not once. None?

None. Ghostbusters, Frozen Empire. Watch the trailer. And then walk away. And then go and see. Shed your tears. And walk away. Or watch the original. Incidentally, it'll be number one next week and we'll have a bunch of emails from people

saying I took my kids to see it and they quite enjoyed it. Fine. Okay. You're wrong. No, but they might, okay, but that's. Fine, fine. Look, I once hit myself in the face with an encyclopedia. It was funny. What way was it funny? I did it as a joke. Oh, I see.

Okay, so you think it's quite possible that it'll be a hit because... It will be a hit. It's Ghostbusters. It will be a hit. It will be number one. And the kids will like it. Some people will go along and they'll say, oh, I quite enjoy it. I mean, actually, very good friend of mine, film critic, liked it very much.

Liked the characters, enjoyed it. Wrong, wrong, wrong. Is that what you said to your friend, the film critic it. Wrong, wrong, wrong. Is that what you said to your friend the film critic? I did actually. And what did your friend the film critic say? She just laughed because she knows me. Yes. Correspondence at kerbannamao.com if you'd like to agree or disagree once you've seen any of these films. That is also the email to send your what's ons to.

You can- Bill Murray! Unless you're Bill Murray. Well no actually if you are Bill Murray, Bill, feel free to Hi, Mark and Simon. I'm Kieran, the director of a film called Secrets of a Wallaby Boy. It's a modern, satirical and queer take on retro-British smut comedy about a young gay man who gets a job as a delivery courier. It was actually inspired by Mark's piece on confessions of a window cleaner in Secrets of Cinema. The film's being screened at Fab Cafe in Manchester on Sunday the 31st of March. Tickets are free and you can get them from tinyurl.com slash fabwallaby. Thanks very much. So it's Kieran who invited us- I'm sorry, I'm going to get on a train and see that.

Retro British queer cinema, is that what he said? Yeah, but also a take on smart comedy, because when we did the secret of cinema on British comedy, we did do quite a lot of stuff about the Confessions movies. Anyway, so thank you, Kieran. New film, Manchester. What's it called? March 31st. Secrets of a Wallaby Boy. That's a name to conjure with. I'm definitely going to see that. Only say that if you are on March 31st going to be in Manchester. That's the end of take

one. Bill Murray! This has been a Sony Music Entertainment production. This week's team. Lily, Gully, Vicky, Zachy, Matthias, that's Billy and Beth. The producer for the final time was Michael Dale because he thinks he's got something better to do than this show, to which the answer is, well he might have I suppose, yeah. The redactor was Simon Poole. Mark, what is your film of the week? It's a double Bill film of the week.

My film of the week is anything other than Ghostbusters. So I'm going to go for both Late Night with the Devil and Immaculate. Thank you very much, Steve, for listening. Take two has also landed adjacent to this thing here. Thank you very much. Get in touch, correspondents at Kevin and Mel.com. Thank you very much. See you soon.