Kermode & Mayo’s Take - Timothy Spall, It Snows in Benidorm, The Forgiven, Blackbird and Three Thousand Years of Longing

Episode Date: September 2, 2022

Simon and Mark are back from their cruise and joined by very special guest Timothy Spall to discuss his new drama ‘It Snows in Benidorm’. Mark reviews the new drama ‘The Forgiven’ - starring Jessica Chastain, Matt Smith and Ralph Fiennes, ‘Three Thousand Years of Longing’ - George Miller’s new fantasy romance starring Idris Elba and Tilda Swinton, ‘It Snows in Benidorm’, and ‘Blackbird’ - the new spy film starring, written, directed and produced by Michael Flatley. You can contact the show by emailing [e-mail] or you can find us on social media: @KermodeandMayo EXCLUSIVE NordVPN Deal ➼ https://nordvpn.com/take Try it risk-free now with a 30-day money-back guarantee! A Somethin’ Else & Sony Music Entertainment production.   Find more great podcasts from Sony Music Entertainment at sonymusic.com/podcasts   To bring your brand to life in this podcast, email [e-mail] Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Trying to escape the holiday playlist. Well, it's not gonna happen here. Jesus' season for a vacation Fa la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la With sunwing seasons of savings on now, why not ditch the cold and dive straight into sun? Visit your local travel agent or... Sunwing.ca Sunfeldas The Amalc is harming with you being... Yeah Mark, here's Herman, where have you been?

Well I've been with you on the cruise, I mean, where have I been? I was the person that was, but when you weren't, but then you know, we've had a minute. Well you was, I was never anywhere else, you can't go anywhere else when you're on a boat. What's the difference between a boat and a ship? Size. Yeah, okay, but a boat can go on a ship, but a ship cannot go on a boat. There's bound to be a better definition,

but that's not a bad working. No, I think that's pretty good to be going on with that. Top of this coffee. I'm sure the boat makers in boat makers corner will be able to explain that there's what the technical difference is. Yes. But while you were, I mean, the cruise was a little bit riotous, which was a little bit,

did you enjoy it? Yes, I wasn't a sequin on the Spano Ballet, a cabaret act, but, excuse me, that wasn't the Spano Ballet cabaret act, that was Spano Ballet. Oh, I see. That was actually them. So you totally heard it is a nice guy, but he goes on about Arsenal all the time, and at that point, I kind of tuned out. It's all football to you isn't it?

Pretty much so. Yes. And what else have you done? I'm just catching up really. Have you done anything useful apart from the cruiser which I know all about? Have you done anything useful with your time? I listened to my child too introduced me to some banging new tunes. Ultra Violent Jungleist by Venetian Frames is just fantastic.

It's absolutely cool. On greatest hits drive time, we play nothing but, what is it called? It's an ultra-violent junglest by Venetian Frames. That one. He played it to me, and I did say that would sound great at the right speed. Because that's the kind of thing you're saying. Have you listened to any, the only one you've played me? Can I, can I, can I, no, because you know,

if I just take it out, won't it? Also, here's all you need to know. It sounds like you're having your head MRIs going. When you, when you lie down, you have your head MRIs going at an incredible speed. When you go, bang, bang, bang, bang, bang, bang, bang, bang, brrrr, bang, bang, bang, bang, bang, bang, bang, and you can't hear the words.

I also played you a brilliant track that I was introduced to called A Trip to Ireland, B-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b- We're not aware, because this is what doesn't matter. It absolutely does. You know, the other person who it doesn't count when they swear is the answer... Is it Richard Curtis? Eddie Isod. I mean, actually Richard Curtis is a good example, but Eddie Isod can swear like a sailor, but somehow gets away with it,

because when they swear, it doesn't sound like swearing. OK, well, that's interesting. Musically, I don't have much to compete with the ultra-jungleist. What was it called? Ultra-violent jungleist. Junkleist. Except that when I was with Grand Child 1, as I suppose we should be referring to him, Grand Child 1 of 1.

And Grand Child 1 of 1 was starting to cry, you know, the way, and instinctively, guess what I sang. As you know, because obviously you sing to, to babies. Did you sing ultraviolet jungles by finishing from the, that would have made it a little bit worse. I think you know, Phil is nappy. No, I sang a selection of hits from Mavita. Did you think, do you think Don't Cry for me, Argentina?

Yeah, and all the others, which are better. Plus, also the flying pickets. And that's exactly the thing. That's exactly the thing. And it worked. And it worked. And it was enchanted. See, it sounds like a lullaby.

Okay, do you know how I used to get child one to sleep? Was it a selection of skiffle tracks? No, I used to get child one to sleep. Was it a selection of skiffle tracks? No, I used to have to walk round and round the living room in a circle for hours in the middle of the night going, I'm a little diner, so I'm a little diner, so I'm a little diner, so I'm planning to go a a way which is a hit by... Jonathan Richmond, Jonathan Richmond, the modern love of us see. Or is it just Jonathan Richmond? Anyway, that's it. Thanks very much for listening.

There'll be another tape along the federal ultraviolet junglest. What about now? Apart from all that, what are you going to be doing on the show today? I'm going to be looking at the script. I'm going to reviewing a bunch of films, including George Miller's new fantasy, which is called 3,000 Years of Longing, starring Till the Swinton and Idris Elba.

We have finally the long awaited release of Michael Flatley's Blackbird. I'm really looking forward to seeing him. In film, Michael Flatley. There is a Jessica Chastain and Ray Fines film called The Forgiven, which is very interesting, which we're talking about very soon. And it snows in Benadorm, which brings us to our super special guest. It does. He's Tim Spall, who plays a man who decides to leave Manchester and visit his brother in Benadorm, only to discover that he's disappeared.

The brother. And as if that wasn't enough. Yes, that's right. He's the brother of the team. He's the voice, right? The team's fully disappeared. That would be kind of the end of the film. On Monday for the Vanguard, there'll be another extra taking, which will be expanding

your viewing in our feature. One frame back inspired by 3000 years of longing. We've been asking for your favorite genie movies. Gin. Gin. Do you pronounce it? Gin. Gin. Gin. Gin. Gin. Gin. No, not gin. Gin. Gin. Gin. No, gin. Yeah, okay. Let's say I think the gin should sound as though you have started to say the D, but then you've changed your mind.

You just thought about it. Gin. Gin. Gin. Gin. It's like it's, I feel as though you should honour the D in some way. Anyway, there's quite a few to choose from, I imagine. Well, there are quite a few to choose from, but there is one correct answer. Oh, okay. And in Take it or leak it, you take it or leak it. Yes, it's a top-age.

I haven't run it past anyone else, but it does involve taking a drink and then going to the toilet. That's what it involves. Then we'll do Take It All Leak that you decide. Our word of mouth on a podcast feature, Mark will be talking about Better Call Saul, which he does anyway for no money, which included this summer after six seasons. Your suggestions for great streaming stuff. We may have missed a correspondence at Curbinamoe.com. Please do sign up for our premium value extra takes to dig into all

that stuff, plus it makes you feel righteous because you are an extra taker. You can access all the extra stuff through Apple podcasts, or if one prefers a different platform, then one should head to extra takes.com. And if you're already a fan guide east, as always, thank you very much for subscribing. So correspondents at Curbidermere.com Graham King from Whitchurch in Shropshire. So there we were on our first exploration trip into deepest herifiture just a hop over the border from our home in Shropshire. When we encountered a community hero in the little market town of Kingston. Have you ever been to Kingston? Not knowingly. From the road we saw a nicely newly painted building, see the attached picture. Set back from the pavement, barely the width of two

car parking spaces in front of this old picture house. The door was open and we saw a workman inside, so my wife always the more socially gregarious, ventured inside to ask what he was doing. Turns out he wasn't a workman at all. He was the owner of the building and was living upstairs while single-handedly converting the ground floor back into a 1920s picture palace, which it was before giving up at Silver Screen more than 50 years ago. That's an amazing looking, it looks stunning. He had already tastefully painted the walls, including some black and white stenciled movie art, and was planning to add an Ardeco duck bar at the back, along maybe with fitting

a very basic organ keyboard that someone had passed on to him. He was currently on the lookout for some pre-loved cinema seating that would bring his total audience capacity to around three dozen, which is 36. If you're younger. Then he would be sprucing up the original Wooden Glass ticket cubicle provided he could find a teeny person to squeeze into the tiny space. And he's hoping to have it all finished in time

to open by the end of the year. Anyway, hats off, fellas says Graham, good on you. I'd be failing my duty if I didn't draw his heroic efforts to the UK's premier film broadcasters in the hope that they will add a toast to this champion of community enterprise. I mean, I have to say, from the outside of it, that looks absolutely fantastic.

Can we put this photograph on our socials? I mean, social media feed. So make a note of that. So we'll do that because you would walk past and go, I hope I can go and do a show from there. Well, there wouldn't be room. It would just be you or me. I didn't do room for anyone else.

I once did a piece from Las Charette, which was a railway carriage, which was in Gassana in Wales. It was in the back of somebody's back garden. And it had been converted into a cinema many years ago. And it was just being taken off to a heritage site to be preserved, but it was, I think it held 10 people. Paul, who's studying hard to be a future resident of Curets Corner, do still pictures and illusions of movement. Long time listener, second time emergency male, toads over you not reading the first one. I email

with shocking news. I have just been reading the stand, a tale of mass disaster caused by an airborne infectious disease, which for obvious reasons, I've only just got round to opening. Can I just say that when you said the stand, why mine didn't immediately think Stephen King's the stand, I thought that was an abbreviation for the evening standard.

Stan, Stan, in the forward, the author standard. Standard? Is that more than a standard? In the forward, the author, no less, of course, than the legendary Stephen King, talks about the difference between books and the movies that come from them. In concluding, he says, quote, movies, after all, are only an illusion of motion comprised of thousands of still photographs. The forward having been written in October 1989, the quote predates the now infamous Whittetame and interview.

Is it the origin of such a banal and simplistic observation? Who knows? Of course, this is no reason not to continue chuckling over such a quote, but maybe if you have the privilege of interviewing the indomitable king, it's a subject best avoided.

Have you ever interviewed Stephen King? I have interviewed him once. It was a live interview on Five Live, and I can't remember why he had agreed to do it because he basically doesn't do very many interviews. Doesn't it, does he? At all. The best selling author in whole world, but he was enormously entertaining, as you would imagine.

PS, as I haven't heard anyone else write in to say it, I can no longer stay silent. Minions rise of grew was poor. My minions obsessed son laughed just once Incredibly underwhelming from a franchise that is consistently hit them off. Well, I'm gonna pass over that and I'm going to ask you Has everybody now seen the trailer of Empire of Light which you showed me yesterday Which on the subject of a series of still images constructed to create the illusion of movement? This is the new Sam Mendes film.

It appears to be a film based on a previous what's the same old program. And spoken by Toby Jones. Spoken by Toby Jones. So hopefully we'll have lots to do on that subject very soon. Streamers discussed, bad sisters, trap door, someone called trap door on YouTube. This is the show to watch if you want to say hey trap

Probably or if you want to be more formal welcome Mr. Dahl. That's a form of music as well. Did you know that? I don't want to know about that. Yeah This is the show to watch if you want to see a narcissist get what they deserve because they rarely do in real life Although right now. It's great. That may be changing. It is thanks, DOJ. That 40-page memo was fantastic. It's great fun, says Mr. Trap, or Ms. Trap. The acting is terrific. Dracula was excellent preparation.

Is it Clay's bang? Clay's. How would you pronounce that? Well, apparently, Clay's. Mr. Bang playing plausibly real characters with the bang. It's the best of the life out of everyone around it. House of the Dragon, K-A-X-E-A, K-A-R-E anyway. Just watched the first episode.

I wish they were lighter on the gore and the porn, really uncomfortable watch. I thought they lightened on that in later seasons of Game of Thrones, great casting though, not as excited for this as I was. 13 lives, we had Ron Howard on the show, of course, a few weeks ago. Heritage list, the first time emergency male,

never emailed a show before, but after listening to you talk about 13 lives, here we go, what a film. Loved how the characters were low key and not put ahead of the story or drama, big Hollywood stars, but playing real life people to a level not often seen, too often they are played as larger than life but not in this case, just brilliant.

I then watched the National Geographic documentary The Rescue, as the film was that good. This is the real, wow moment, Colin Farrell and his real life counterpart were like twins. I really bored the Councillor, her indoors telling her about this resemblance so much, she is now off to watch the film and documentary. Had soft to run Howard for this film I think I got some local sand in my eye from the Na'na'a area watching it. PS don't tell the Grand Red actor but loving the show the replacements are always good but we know who the real Maradona and Pele are. Down with the Nazis and all of that from Greg. The football reference that even I get. Right, tell us something that is brand new.

The forgiven, which is the new film by John Michael McDonald, who CV includes the guard, Calvary, War and Everyone, starring your friend, Ray Fines, and Jessica Chastain. Based on... She's my friend as well. She's well, okay. Based on the 2012 novel by Lawrence Osborne, which I haven't read. Have you read Lawrence Osborne's? I have not. Okay. So Ray finds his David who is a British sort of society doctor with a murky past. He is a highly functioning alcoholic. As he says, I think those two things should cancel each other out. It's rather like a double negative.

His wife, Joe Jessica Chastain, is, well, was a children's novelist who appears to have complete disdain for children and therefore is, you know, unsurprised that her career has dried up. They are traveling 400 miles to go to a party. The party in Morocco, which is in, so a castle like sort of villa, owned by their friends Richard and Daly, played by Matt

Smith and Caleb Landry Jones. But whilst driving drunk through the desert and having an argument, they hit and kill a local boy its knight and he's been drinking anyway. They hit and kill a local boy and they then arrive at the party with the body of this boy in their car. He is described as a nobody from a village far away and they are assured that the death can be dealt with, that the authorities will look kindly on it as long as they seem to be completely contrite. With Ray Fine's thinks he can do that

if it's absolutely necessary. Here's a clip. So the world's still normal. You should get changed. Both of you. Get changed. Have a shower. Come down for dinner. Police will be here in an hour.

I know the officer in charge is a bit of formality. No. How did it happen? You should tell me before we tell the police, get everything I down. We were bowling along, looking for the sign for Aslan. And there was a lot of sand blowing across the road. I couldn't see.

He just stepped out in front of us like you didn't understand the speed of a car. The fact is we hit him, we hit him and we killed him. So she's more traumatized than he is, but she soon comes round to the idea that, okay, this can be made to go away, except of course it can't, because nobody is a nobody. The boy has a named Dress and a father of Delabla

by Ishmael Kanata, who arrives at the villa and announces that the Englishman must pay, and he must pay by traveling with him to the remote village in which he lives to bury his son. David says, I'm not going, I mean, you know, it'll be extortion or execution, you know, they could be ISIS for all I know. And yet something happens, either a shift in the way he perceives what's going on or it's unclear exactly, but he agrees to go. And so the story then bifurcates, he goes on this journey to this village,

to make him into a tone for what he's done. She, meanwhile, stays at the party villa, where all these ghastly overprivileged white tofs, all misbehave, including her. She falls into a casual dalliance with a financial analyst. She says, what does a financial analyst actually do, other than dress up as Dionysus? Now, the thing about the film is this, that there is, there's a very kind of, obviously laid out table of what the main themes are. Their themes of white privilege, their themes of good and evil, of redemption and retribution. And all these are pretty

clearly foregrounded. The dialogue is full of these ghastly white characters referring to them and these people. When the people that they're talking about are not only within earshot but literally standing in the same room. So it's very clear how that dynamic is playing out. There's also things like the driving gloves that he has been wearing are covered in blood and they are placed very pointedly on a chest. So he has blood on his hands quite literally, the gloves are covering us. And that's kind of the level of the symbolism. But although the drama sort of runs the risk of privileging its white characters, they are not the most interesting part of the drama. The most interesting part of the drama is, for example, Abdullah, who is a really intriguing character, who at first, you know, you can't tell whether his expression

is to do with grief or anguish or rage or revenge, it's a really sort of complicated series of emotions that are going on. And as the journey in which he takes David to his village plays out, you do start to see a change in David's character, but more importantly, what you spend is time away from the incredibly annoying and you know entitled white characters. I think the film is it's well made, it's solidly done. I don't think it's brilliant, I think at times I mean it's it's oddly low key when you consider the sort of the garishness of the subject matter. And at times, it can feel a little bit inert.

It does an interesting job of kind of juxtaposing these bright vistas of landscape and costume that are then contrasted with the increasingly dark subject matter. And it has good performances and it's sort of enthusiastically done. I don't think it's something that's anything particularly new, but I think what it does manage to do is to set up what you think is going to be, there's a point in which you think you know the way the story is going and it doesn't quite. And of course, as with McDonald's stuff, obviously Ray Fine started,

starting Martin McDonald's in Bruge. And I think both the McDonald brothers are interested in guilt, retribution, justice, good evil morality. And all those things are being played with in this. So I think it's solid. I think it's slightly over long. And I think that at times it can

it can slightly try the patience of the audience. But it's very well played, solidly done, and it's hard is in the right place, particularly as the drama progresses and we move away from the company of some brilliantly unsympathetic characters. And in that clip, it was obviously Ray Farns, Jessica Chastain, and Matt Smith, who's still playing the Duke of Edinburgh. In that role, he seems to have moved very effortlessly into that. I think Matt Smith's great. He is so brilliant in last night and so though. I think he's a really versatile actor.

Still to come. I'll be reviewing Michael Flatley's Blackbird, also 3,000 years of longing, and it's nose in benedal. You can hear from the star of that film Tim Spull very soon as well, time for the ads, unless you're in the vanguard, in which case we'll be back before you can say flibby to jibbit. ["Flippety Ghibit"]

Happy Nord Christmas. Protect yourself whilst Christmas shopping online and access all the Christmas films from around the globe! Plus, when you shop online, you'll have to give websites your card details and other sensitive data like your personal addresses. Those websites should already have their own encryption built into their payment systems, but to be on the safe side, you can use a VPN to ensure that all data coming to and from your device is encrypted. Even if you're using an unsafe Wi-Fi, you'll still be able to shop securely with a VPN.

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great cinema from around the globe. From myConnect directors to emerging otters, there's always something new to discover, for example. Well, for example, the new Aki Karri's Macchi film Fallen Leaves, which won the jury prize it can. That's in cinemas at the moment, and if you see that and think I want to know more about Aki Karri's Macchi, you can go to movie The Streaming Service, and there is a retrospective of his films called How to Be a Human. They are also going to be theatrical releasing In January Priscilla, which is new so for you a couple of film, which I am really looking forward to since I have an Elvis obsession. You could try Mooby free for 30 days at Mooby.com slash

Kermit and Mayo. That's M-U-B-I dot com slash Kermit and Mayo for a whole month of great cinema for free. Trying to escape the holiday playlist. Well, it's not going to happen here. Jesus' season for a vacation, fallalala-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la with sunwing seasons of savings on now. Why not ditch the cold and dive straight into sun? Visit your local travel agent or... Sunwing.ca Well, we're back. Before the email, I want to say hello to Evan Powell, who I met while we were on the cruise. A long time listener, and he's about to be a fantastic, oh, big pun, archaeologists, so ever and thanks for listening. Susan Applethwaite in Oakville, just outside Toronto, as you know, about the sounds you make with your mouth.

Oh, this is to do with us that, I think you particularly do that, don't you? Because you've been banned from doing it. I've been banned from going. Because it means I get a smack in the mouth, you know. My husband's family originally from Barbados, and after 33 years of marriage, I can stoop with the best of them. Stooping or shoo-pcing is sucking one's teeth,

and it's a noise used as an exclamation or of disbelief or disgust or astonishment. I didn't adopt this on purpose. It just popped out one day during a heated discussion, which caused my husband to fall about laughing and now is part of the lexicon. So I had never heard of stooping. I hadn't.

When my friend Tim Polkat moved to America, he said the best thing about moving to America is you never hear the sound of someone sucking their teeth, which means it's going to be Wednesday. It's looking like I've never heard this last time. James and Eleanor say Friday, 2nd of September is the day I get married to my dead am... so I think this is mainly from James. Is the day I get married to my dead amazes and totes the most part, Eleanor, in Crameyne, County Kerry, in Ireland. I converted it to the church fairly early in our courtship, which boedied well for the future.

Jerry was up from you bad selves, will be the icing on the two-tiered scalloped chocolate fudge cake, there will be slicing up later. What's love the show, Steve? James and Eleanor. So James and Eleanor, congratulations. Congratulations. On a very happy and exciting day in County Kerry.

And I must say a wedding cake that was actually two tears of chocolate fudge cake. Sounds like the best wedding cake. Can you send us a bit of all time? That'd be nice. And one of those attractive boxes. Box office top 10 at 27. A bear in mind. I've been on the cruise for a month. So yeah, it's absolutely 27 here. And number 40 in the States mild school.

This is from Craig Campbell. I'm guessing John O'Marclown's mild school isn't going to make it into the top 10, but it may make it into the top 12-inch extended mix. Fortunately, I was quick enough to get tickets for the premiere of John O'Marclown's mild school at Glasgow's Fabulous GFT, which was followed by a Q&A great cinema. John O'Loolulu, Cummings, and one of the pupils. It was fantastic. Most of the pupils who were the on-screen talking heads were in the auditorium, sitting around us as was Graham Norton. They had a laugh poking fun at each other when they appeared on-screen and really added

to the experience. I was brought up in and around Glasgow, but didn't know the story. I was thinking I was working in London at the time, so I missed it. It was a great film 10 out of 10 Best of the year so far, although I appreciate that I had a unique experience with a couple of points added for seeing it with the real life cast And enjoying the full Glasgow Patois, which is a Glaswegian term and banter. Having said that is such a great story So well told great cast that I'd recommend it to everyone even if you're not for Glasgow And you don't get to watch it with the cast.

It's a hoot, at least they'd add a 10 for all. I'm only going to see movies if the cast are there. That's what I just did in general. Yes, Craig, thank you very much. Number 10 here, 16 in the States, all for first kill. That was on the cruise. Number 9, Fisherman's Friends, one and all. And again, on the cruise.

UK number 8, number nine in America, Thor 11th, Thunder, poo poo poo poo poo poo, but quite good. It's not. UK number seven number 12 in America is Elvis, which I just loved and I'm so delighted that your child too, yes, came came out of it and went straight back into it because that's how... And if you've ever done that for a movie that you've literally come out paid and paid, not just stayed. Not just stayed in for the sake of the movie. But they used to happen in continuous performances. You just used to stay. Any movies that you've seen so blown away,

you've paid to go back in again. Number six here, number four in America, top gun maverick. Top gun maverick! Number five here, eight in the States, minions, the rise of groove. I refer to the previous email saying it was disappointing. No, it wasn't. UK number four, US number 11 is nope.

Okay. So lollicilito says, my dad got me into the podcast one evening when he made us margaritas and insisted that we watch the exorcist Regarding peel these clearly The exorcist with a head full of margaritas. Olli is just sitting out a stall here Regarding peels latest note I had some thoughts to share true to peel style the nebulous cultivation of horror and comedy had the cinema audibly laughing and

Swearing in equal frequency from the off note was staged as an uneasy fellowship between the sci-fi horror and comedy had the cinema audibly laughing and swearing in equal frequency. From the off-note was staged as an uneasy fellowship between the sci-fi, horror and western genre foregrounded by a tension between threat within and threat without. At times it had the feeling of Spielberg's shark looming ominously beyond the translucent clouds, and other times it seemed to borrow some of King's The Mist and monstrous entities verging between the corporeal and the amorphous. The cinematic crux of note was above and beyond the ... can I ask you, above the, in quotes, Gordy storyline, capital G. What do you understand by that? Well, that's a character. Oh right, because Gordy means Canadian. It also means a large fort.

But Gordy in this case is just like... Maybe, yeah, maybe I'm misremembering, because it's now five weeks ago. All right, I'm sorry. It's not crucial. ..which managed to appeal to our most primitive, preternatural instincts and genuinely borrowed under my skin. The image of the pink veiled smile was seared across the back of my eyelids

for a good few hours after the film ended. However, unlike jaws where the first emergence of the shark is genuinely terrifying, our first full sighting of the alien attracted from the terror rather than augmenting it. The last third of the film somewhat lost its way in terms of lessened intensity and ostensibly relevant cliché of a camera man character and a marvelesque obliteration of a handful of people without taking the time to earn. And you just sorry, just read that sentence again slightly slower. The last third of the film somewhat lost its way in terms of lessened intensity, and ostensibly irrelevant cliche of a cameraman character,

and a Marvel-esque obliteration of a handful of people without taking the time to earn it. You happy? No, I am right, yes. Unfortunately, it didn't have the neatness or the punch of Get Out, and as a home invasion of sorts, it failed where us succeeded.

Nevertheless, Daniel Collouier's acting was absolutely brilliant and I hope to see him in another peal endeavour, Lollicilito, since that. And here is Ashley from Malmo in Sweden, also on note. Just gone out of seeing nope and I'm almost in some form of shock. I'm equally impressed some form of shock, I'm equally impressed and terrified. My only conclusion is I guess don't look up was already taken the title. So we'll go with Nope, what a film. Now it's actually from Malmo just over the road from Copenhagen just along the bridge. I know you want to talk more on this, but so Nope is it number four, that's the thing. So here's what I would say, you know, as with Jordan Peel's previous films, no, has got a load of ideas and a load of ambitions and many of them are very, very intriguing. However, I think no, is his weakest film to date

for a number of reasons. And the most obvious one is, okay, what the film is about is it's about, well, one of the things it's about is I have a bit of gazing and stupid faction at oncoming disaster. And this is therefore, you know, there's a knee irony in it being an iMac's friendly debate about make about spectacle. Fine, okay, that's an interesting academic exercise. It's also many critics have, quite breathlessly, I have to say, about, you know, brilliant unpacking of spectacle cinema and the blockbuster ethos. And many people have made the obvious comparison to Jaws. I mean, it's not just that it kind of, with the, you know, with the Skydance's thing, it doesn't just kind of reference the barrels from Jaws. It positively rips them off. The problem is this, in terms of the film's pacing,

it is desperately uneven. When I look back at my notes from when I saw the film, and Barry and I saw it without knowing anything about it, which I still think is the best way to see it, about 35 minutes in, I wrote, when is this going to start? There is in my notes. There is a very arresting opening sequence with Gordy

the chimp, hence the remembering as a character name, which then kind of gets lost in the mix and then comes back and then sort of gets lost again, but nothing in the rest of the movie ever actually fulfills the promise of that opening sequence. There are some jaw-dropping moments, yes, jaws, the film which lies in the back of this, I mean, somebody called this upside down jaws, which is quite funny. Jaws is a film within the first five minutes of jaws, you are absolutely gripped. And people forget just how remarkable it is to make a blockbuster that absolutely has you on the edge of your seat from the start.

Nope doesn't. Nope takes a liberty, I think, with its dramatic structure, that I don't think it deserves. I think there are brilliant things in it. I think Daniel Collier is great. I think it looks majestic. I do think the character of the cinematographer is the most caricatured, you know, character in a Jordan Peel film so far. And I think that there are plot holes that you could drive an articulated lorry through. I mean, plot holes that are just absurdly ridiculous. But I think the main problem is, it takes for granted the audience is interest. Now, the one thing that I can see that I'm wrong about is when I saw it, my feeling was,

critics will love this, audiences won't. It turns out that some critics absolutely love it. And some audiences absolutely love it too, as we've heard there. I mean, it's done very solidly at the box office, not spectacularly, but much better than I expected. But I still think it is a better film to talk about than to watch. And just like Ashley did, if you've seen a movie and you just want to tell us your thoughts, please don't send an email.

Please do correspondence at kodermay.com. Just speak into your phone and send it as an email because that works very well. Actually, thank you very much for that. Number three here, number two in the state's bullet train. Ed says, I thought it began like a guy, Richie Philman got steadily funnier as it moved away from that into more cartoonish territory. Strangely, I laughed more as it went along not less like the sheer number of ludicrous plot twists and winning was winning me over. The Thomas references, is that references to Thomas the Tank Engine? It felt like a time engine. It felt labored but achieved an odd poignancy in the final act.

Not the smartest good time I've ever had at the cinema, but a good time nonetheless. It starts like a guy Richie Film and then gets worse. Okay, that's the major point. That's the major point difference. Number two here, six in the States, DC League of Superpets. There is nothing else to say other than, okay, fine. There it is.

It's just, it's so without any sense of, I mean, it's just like reading an accountancy log. Okay, fine, yeah, you made the money out of it. Good for you. That's it. All right, very good. And number one in the UK, number three in America is beast. So this is, I'm gonna see this this weekend.

What do you think you're gonna think? I have no idea, tell me what the, what the listener emails they have there aren't any. Okay, fine, so I have no idea what I'm gonna think, what I'm gonna see this this weekend. What do you think you're gonna think? I have no idea, tell me what the, what the listener emails they, they're on telly. Oh, okay, fine. So I have no idea what I'm gonna think, what I'm gonna see this weekend. Are you looking forward to it?

I have no idea, I'm going to see it this weekend. But when you sit down to see it, do you think, I don't know, I'm going in with an open mind. Completely open mind? Yeah, completely blank sheet. Okay. If you ever thought it's correspondence at kevdermand.com. It's like the thing where somebody says, don't think about an elephant. Okay. If you ever thought it's correspondence at curableaimau.com. It's like the thing where somebody says don't think about an elephant. Damn.

Today we're joined live in the studio by a man. I don't need to read all this. It's Tim's ball. It's Tim's ball. You'll hear from him after this clip. But without any prior warning, a letter firing me. No, we're not letting you go. It's a little retirement. We? Yes, we, I thought we were we. What? It's we that the company we want to reward you for your loyalty

and good work. What is this at the reward? How can you say that? I would love it. You'll be getting a most handsome pension. But I can still work. Who wants to work when you can do what you want? What I want. Of course. Enjoy life, Peter. That's what we all want.

What I want. All I want is this. Yes? No farewell party, please. A party. No one was thinking of holding one. And that's a clip from It's Nose in Benadome. I'm delighted to say that it's Star Timothy Spool is in our studio, L.O. Tim, how are you? Hello, I'm good.

Lovely to see you, both. It feels like a royal visit. Does it really? It does. It does, it does. You always light up a room, particularly with your fantastic shoes, which I'm very impressed by. I've got great shoes for right shoes Which your son bought you? He did

He's yeah, he knows I'm a shoe person and he's Don't even have bought him a pair yet, but is it this yeah? He's bought me another pair for Christmas as well So there we are you're a well-dressed man Tim. What I call it careful packaging And you said the suit came from one of your productions. Yeah, I don't know why I'm going to show it. Thank you for showing it over there. It wasn't a theft, it wasn't a affirmation. I think I donated a shielding R2, so I was, yeah, yeah.

I'm blessed by having to get a lot of my award. Some of the costumes are the idea, so I don't. Yes, which I wouldn't want to keep hold of. No, no. It's no Zim Benedom is the movie which you'll hear for, describe it in your words, because it's a fascinating film. Well, yeah, it is an unusual film, because on the face of it, it's a very,

sort of, quite straightforward plot, but when you see it reveals itself, it becomes something else, far more hypnotic and strange and dreamlike. Well, it's basically about a guy, a guy of a certain age, and Manchester, it's basically about a guy, a guy of a certain age in Manchester who's forced into early retirement. He works for a bank, a building society. He's not seen his brother for a long time, who lives in Benadorm. He's fallen out of contact with him, he decides to

go and see him. He lives a life of a quotidian existence. He has almost a kind of, obviously, the type of rhythm in his life where he does the same things, but he goes, is a man who's reduced his life down to virtually zero, his expectations are very low, and he distrusts people. And in the, he says, one of the first things, he says, two things I can be sure of.

There's two things you can't trust, the weather and people, but he's also amateur meteorologists. So he's only love, he's taking picture to clouds. Anyway, cut along story short, he goes to Benadom, expecting to have a bit of a quiet time, see his brother, his brother isn't there. He moves into his flat and the spisterious, fast tower block. He's, he first experiences, the fact that it's not there. Then he goes out and sees the bridge, his compatriots all doing what they do in Bernadom. He's alienated by that. He's in parties and drunk and so on. Yeah, and it's not his thing and he sees that office.

He's a bizarre observer. He's sort of tectonic plates have been shifted immediately. He then doesn't quite know what to do. He wakes up in his apartment and he finds this mysterious woman sort of staring at him being kind of over familiar and turns out that she works in his brother's club. He didn't even know his brother at a club. He ends up going to visit her and she's also a part-time exotic dancer and produces a string of large string of pearls from a very intimate part, unconventional part of her body. And she would say, I'm glad that you covered that. Yeah, thank you. Well, yeah, well, no, and basically, then you get this peculiar, very unconventional,

sort of love story, sort of, you know, I'm following between them. This is even serieta chance. Serieta chance, brilliant serieto-chari, a lovely person, fine actress, and this is a really lovely performance. And so it's like, on one level, it's a classic, hand drum guy, fish out a water, chalk and cheese relationship. It wears, it's sort of tropes, almost like a maguffin

to produce an atmosphere that is very odd and slightly hypnotic these people that you observe. This is about, it's almost like the imagination of a man being tempted and himself being woken up by extraneous circumstances and weird things. And this bizarre world that becomes its own thing. So tell us about the director of Zabel Kushet, because she's made 12 feature films, which is an incredible amount of movies to make, which kind of puts this film as a Spanish indie film. I mean, is that a reasonable summary?

You could absolutely say that. It's a retired mancunian in a catolonian art movie. That's what it is. And it's an elder-save production, so it's our modiv's production company behind it. Yes. And when you see it, I think your taste of flavour, you can see why they are involved in it. Yeah.

You know, there was, evidently, at one point, early on, I think she, you know, that Marl Moldova and self-was going to probably direct it. She wrote it in a thousand association with them. Think about Isabelle as well. If she's not only direct and write it, she is the camera operator. And she kind of more or less wears the camera all the time. So she's built this, she is like I am a camera. I mean, it's like she's very organized, but also she goes with what she's got. And she's very sort of mysterious about it, about what she's got. She's very mysterious about what she wants and she lets you discover it and she's

quite strong about what she wants but she allows you to discover it. So you create this slightly odd atmosphere within it where you're discovering it together, but you feel slightly off-centered but also in a safe hand. So the atmosphere in it is what I'm saying. I mean, to me, movies are about plot, you know, about the normal thing storytelling, but one thing movies can do, particularly in the hands, particular directors can create their own environment and world, and I think she is very much a person who can create an atmosphere that is very unique to her particular style.

And you see how movies are all very different. So she creates that atmosphere that she wants and hopefully to produce it as you go along. There's a lot that's unsaid. Yes. And a lot of backstory, which we are unresolved, not told about. Yeah. Backstored that you're not told about. Things that appear to be one thing that aren't these this woman that you see as a sophisticated,

erotic dancer also has her own insecurities. It professes one thing but turns out to be another thing. So I think that's what that's on purpose. I think it will be easily to misconstruer as being something that is unresolved without knowing it's doing it. But I think she leaves this thing open. So you don't quite know where you are. You know? It's also worth saying that that title, it's nose in Benadome, in a way, sums up the thing about them, because obviously it doesn't snow in Benadome outside of a particular instance in which we are given an artificial circumstance in which this happens. And because of his interest in meteorology, the film is basically about an

unimaginable circumstance. He finds himself in a world that he could not of imagined in a world that he could not have predicted, which is kind of encapsulated by that weirdly enigmatic, it's no in Benedom because it doesn't, but it does. No, indeed, and that is what he says. He's got a voice over at Lime when he says, you know, the thing about the weather is that the weather

is what it is, but it's always a promise. There's something in it. So he's not expecting it. I wrote it down. The weather is, I'm quoting you. The weather is a way to feel that something's happening and if there isn't, there's a promise. Yeah, that's it, exactly.

And this, although he has very, very few expectations, that tiny little bit of poetry, this is involved in quite a prosaic hobby, is basically what it's about. So there's one, I see this character, the thing that came in my image into my head, was you know I'll television, I'll tube television, when you turn them off, and it became, all of a sudden it became small and small and small and white, dark, small and small and small and the white dot was more and small and the middle of it. I see this character as a man who's just about is the white dot left in the black screen and he's just about to disappear into nothingness in his own unexpected,

in his low expectations, in his mildly depressed state in this way, he is in his mundanity, quotidian, and he goes in this sort of poetic expectation or possibility promise is what he lives out in this bizarre scenario where he goes. We all, I mean, because of the sitcom and because of what we know about Brit's expectations and why they go to bed at all, and they're all on the whole list to get it, and have a good time, have a drink, have a dance, make a try of yourself, be chips, do what you like, basically do what you like, liberty house. And it's not to do, and forgive me if people do go there to imbibe and take in the more,

should we take text inside the Spanish culture and history, I don't think it's designed for that. Although there is, and this character is actually, he sees his fellow Brits doing this, and he ends up somehow going into a part of the, you know, it's edging towards that kind of, you know, much more of a, you know, like inherent vice-flavor to it, where you get this thing, what is this, what am I talking, what genre I'm in?

And then I think it just creates its own thing. And I have to say, believe it or not, we saw it in the winter, and on the second day of shooting, it actually snowed in Manitok. Oh, did it? It did. Well, were they shooting at the time?

No, it was like, too. I don't think it, you know, it doesn't qualify, but it was snowing the mountains, and it was bloody freezing and it snowed. I saw it and the dude I just said it snowed, you know, so it was wonderful. One of the reasons why I liked it particularly is here we are, you know, end of the summer beginning of autumn. And that's what it feels like an end of summer movie because with clearly in Benendorm, it's sunny when we see you, but you're wearing a jacket, you know, so there is. And that kind of end of something, feel. I think he's always very, very motive and very atmospheric. I love that about that. But I didn't know who was actually in the bleak midwinter. Yeah, no, you wouldn't know because the light, I mean, that's the thing, you know, that's the thing

about Southern Spain. I mean, it's just that light and that air that the colors are. So they blind it, you know, as I see when he comes out, he can't see, you know. Also the color palette in the film is very kind of like that. It's very different. I mean, she creates this, it's not really depressed McEuny and sort of well that you leave and he's there he is. And, you know, so, yeah, I mean, it's,

I think it's full of very interesting moments that are seemingly one thing, aren't. And I think, you know, I think it's full of very interesting moments that are seemingly one thing, aren't. And I think, you know, obviously, it's easy for me to suggest these things. They're very difficult to explain atmosphere when you're talking about it. Those colors, one of, I mean, obviously, because it's your profession, but also because of painting and because the amount of time you spend painting and studying painting, do you think you spot those colors more now than you would have done, say, 20 years ago? Yeah, I mean, I do.

I think I do see a lot more than that and visual. And I mean, I've got thousands of hours of take. I ended up when I had my exhibition, which I went, because as soon as we finished that film, I started painting straight after. And there's about two or three paintings that were influenced by that. Some of those are a couple of sort of Benadorma inspired sort of things there. Since I have taken to

chucking paint about, I have started to look at things a lot more and see the, yeah, I don't know any aspirations to direct, but since I've been painting, I've started to think, hmm, interesting, you know, but I'm a landscape paint, you know, I do big, right? I mean, they'd all be very, very, very, like, whole fashion, trying to move it, if I direct you to anything. The music for the film is, it's a beautiful score. As soon as I watched it, I went and downloaded the score album, which is, I've wanted to be on,

who of course appears in the film? It does. As the MC in the club. You're rather wonderful at it, isn't it? Yeah, yeah. In that, um, But how great to see the composer on screen. Yeah, yeah.

No, I know. I know. I remember watching and coming out on that thing. I didn't know he was going to have that superhero face and that. Yeah. And he's extraordinary character. He was incredibly humble and enjoying just doing it and being on it. But it is a beautiful score.

Wonderful score. Really wonderful. And it, I said, immediately after seeing the film I downloaded the score, I'd been listening to it since then, because it's very atmospheric. Yeah. You know, it ends in emotional, then it's an emotional resonance to some of the scenes that are kind of more disorientating, because I did watch the whole film

not knowing anything about it other than the title, which doesn't really tell you anything other than it's going to be something you don't expect. The movie is, it's Snow's in Benadorm, stars Tim Spall. We're going to talk more with Tim in take two but for the moment Tim is he's small thank you very much. It's a great pleasure. Tim Spall thank you very much indeed. Now I'm saying that because we did take a brief pause there and while you look the other way Tim left the the room. Mr. Moore has left the room. Because he doesn't want to sit in here while Mark reviews his movie.

So anyway, although we've kind of discussed it, you know, we have, and there'll be more with Tim, as I mentioned, intake two, but for the moment, it's no as a benefit on here we go. On one hand, it is a story about somebody working in a bank who finds themselves retired against their own will, has become a strange from their brother who lives in Benadorm, finally takes up the invitation to go to Benadorm.

When they get there, the brother has disappeared. And so that's what I mean about it being a ghost story, but his character then finds himself. I mean, he goes looking for his brother, his brother isn't there. You kind of touch on this in the interview. One of the key characters in the movie is an absence. We don't see him. We don't hear him, you know, he's an absent. And what happens is that Tim Spool's character then starts living in his apartment, starts adopting his wardrobe, starts to some extent,

adopting his identity, or at least the ghost of his identity. The best way of describing it, I think, is this. I watched the movie knowing nothing about it other than the title. I didn't even know that they'd go to Benidorm. I thought it might be one of those things, like another kind of Alaska, a different Alaska, whatever it's called, in which Alaska actually doesn't feature. And I spent the whole movie wondering where it was going. Where is this story moving to?

What's happening when he first gets there and he's estranged and then he moves into the what's happening in the club is this is kind of crying games what's going on and when the film finished I was left with this strange sort of aftertaste of the movie which was then amplified by listening into the score but I was in a kind of a slight sort of slightly woosy dream state and the good lady professor her indoors said to me, you're right. I mean, yeah, and I'm fine, but I've just watched this film. I wasn't quite sure what I was watching while I was watching it, but it's left me with something that I can't quite explain. And I think the best way of describing it is to say it is a film of an

atmosphere of a mood. That's why I think the music was so important. That's why your conversation with Tim's ball about the design and the painting, the way it looked. It really is an example of this isn't, and the narrative is not the point. The point is his character, I mean, it is a ghost story as much as he's ending else. His character is not really in search of his brother. His character is in search of himself, and all those unresolved mysteries. What's going on with the housekeeper? What's going on with his character is not really in search of his brother, his character is in search of himself, and all those unresolved mysteries. What's going on with the housekeeper?

What's going on with the brother? What's going on with the guy who runs the butchers? All those things are just a way of getting you into that kind of that space between two certainties in which you fill in the gap. And it's a very good example of a movie which left me with a feeling that I found hard to shake off.

And I think that is its strongest suit. OK. And once you've seen it, we'd love to know what you think. Correspondence of Colonel Mayor.com. There'll be more from Tim Spool in Take 2, by the way, because you can never have too much Tim Spool. A sprawling Spool interview. Tim Spool, in fact, I'm sure there's, again,

if you are a super van Gogh, he's more. Because he's more. It's the ads in a minute, Mark, unless you're a van Gogh. He's dead, obviously. But first, it's once again to step into the so-called laughter lift. Oh, no! F**k!

F**k! F**k! F**k! F**k! F**k! F**k! F**k! F**k! F**k! F**k! F**k! F**k! F**k! F**k! F**k! F**k! F**k! F**k! I'm laughing, this is terrible. I'm actually laughing at you laughing. This is really annoying. Yeah, okay. When you press that door closed button it never works Anyway This music is great Now can't you say the ads this the ads the ads the jokes the same kind of the jokes are a little bit And there's only two so I'm gonna add one. Okay fine. Okay. I'm not sure are you Mark?

But I've taken up a new hobby over the summer. What's that, Simon? Blindfold archery. You should try it. You don't know what you're missing. Anyway, I've decided- Please tell me that wasn't the one that you added. Please tell me that that was already there, that you didn't voluntarily add that one.

I did. This elevator music actually I've decided doesn't get any better, does it? It's bad on so many levels. I thought, okay, well, I'm gonna add to that. You know, I've heard another version of that lift, that joke about somebody farting in an elevator, it was wrong on so many levels. Yeah, all right.

Here is a joke from the new addition of the economist. He's- Hold on, hang on. This is a joke from the economist. of the Economist. No, hold on, hang on. This is a joke from the Economist. Yes, but it's an economist. Ladies and gentlemen, do you want to change the music? Do you want to put on something more somber? Or ladies and gentlemen, a joke from the Economist?

Well, I just thought it needed an extra something. Yeah. The Economist have supported this podcast. They have indeed. They have indeed. And maybe they'll support us again in the future. OK. But they're not paying for this joke.

That's from the New Deal. Okay, here we go. This is from an article about changes being made to constitutions around the world. Excellent. A man walks into a library and asks for a copy of the French Constitution. I'm sorry, replies the librarian.

We don't stock periodicals. Now, this is funny to French historians because France has had 16 constitutions since 1791. And so therefore, it's a rather fabulous joke. A joke, ladies and gentlemen, from the economists. What is still to come later once you stop laughing? Sorry, I've lost the book. You're going to be reviewing 3,000 years of long. I'll be reviewing 3,000 years of longing Blackbird. And Blackbird.

And what else? And that's it, really. That's all there is. Back after this, unless you're a van Goghs, from the economist, in which case? Still to come, your service will not be interrupted. Well, we're back. And here's the joke I missed out. There's an extra joke. Hang on, there's a joke that you missed. Yes. So you said, Aga, do you pulled in the joke from the economist, but you left out one of the side books? I think it is a good joke. I think the joke

from the economist gave us some heft, some presence, because people would be going, my word, that's a smart joke. I know. We're an ABC one joke. We're dumbing up, definitely. So anyway, here's the joke I missed out. Mark had an eye test last week. Did you guess who I bumped into on the way to the opticians?

Well, that's the joke, yeah? Yeah. Okay. That's the joke. Anyway, I'm actually not sure that was, would you rather the joke from the top of the... No, I thought the joke for that? No, I thought they'd joking the economist

about the French Constitution being available as a periodic order back. If you have high-faluten jokes that would actually fit into the account of the... High-faluten, route and tune. We wouldn't like to hear them, because we could do a high-faluten joke. He's a thing.

What is the most high-faluten joke? You know, this is like the Empress New Clothes, right? Send us the most aerodite, aerodite, high-fal in joke. You know, this is like the Empress New Clothes, right? Send us the most aerodite, aerodite, highfalutin joke that you have because when you previewed the economist joke with me last night, I laughed even though I didn't understand why it was funny until you then went on to explain it.

Yes. I just laughed because it was the punchline of a joke. That is just my natural reaction. So why, so send us a highfalutin joke, but also tell us where to laugh because we might not be laughing at the right place. Exactly. You have to say an intelligent thing. And then explain why it is that it's funny. Yes. Yes. Thank you very good. Consponersicurbanamena.com. Raising the bar. Will Gubbins is a so great name. Time for some more Gubbins. You could never have too much Gubbins.

Dear Ding and indeed Dong, long time list in the first time emailer. Your discussion regarding bell ringing and snapped staves triggered a flashback. In my early teens I was a bell ringing, this is because I was a bell ringing. You were. The promise of 20 quid for 15 minutes work, two to three times a weekend, ringing at weddings, lured me in. I persisted for around two years before my burgeoning career was brutally cut short at a ringing competition where many church groups all descended on a small village. As a big lad, I was frequently on bell four or five. They were the larger bells. Well, I was bell four and I was never

a big lad, I have to say, but anyway, maybe they were heavier bells. It was the first ring after lunch and we were ringing away quite happily when Terrace struck. As it's tried two years, almost to the day as it happened, that it happened, quite how the sequence of events started a lost time. However, I think I possibly sneezed at the worst time and did not pull back down to reverse the bells momentum. The stay, the stay is the thing that stops the bells swinging around. Yeah.

Smashed and the bell kept on swinging. My arm had somehow ended up tied into the rope and I was dragged to the sky like a terrified pubescent Mary Poppins. No! Luckily the quick thinking conductor jumped and caught the tail, so presumably the tail of the rope. So I suspect. This is terrifying.

It is. I suspect I only made it two or three feet in the air. But in my mind's eye, I was all the way to the bell-free. Never let the truth get in the way of a great story, so you're basically in the bell-free. This is like a cartoon. It is. Anyway, no broken limbs, but I never rang again.

Enjoying the new format, I'm halfway through Midnight Mass, so now I've paused a half-listened to episode to go back to. Please keep the spoil everything as take three to reduce my podcast stress. Thanks for being there almost every week for the past 14 years through medical school and beyond. You truly provide astonishing value. Hello to Jason and up with blue head feminists. Thank you, Will Gubbins. If you have any more Gubbins, you can send them to us correspondentscommoner.com. Now, here is the moment we've all been looking forward to particularly me ever since my med- particularly me, ever since particularly me. Particularly me, because you messaged me to let me know that you'd just seen the new

Michael Flatley movie. Did I? Yes. I don't even remember what the message was. Well, you were just so excited and thrilled to be there. Blackbird, unfilmed, demycl flatly. And it is unfilmed, Michael Flatley, since it is directed by Michael Flatley, written by Michael Flatley, produced by Michael Flatley, and indeed, starring Michael Flatley since it is directed by Michael Flatley, written by Michael Flatley, produced by Michael Flatley,

and indeed starring Michael Flatley. I'm worried already. Just in case, I mean, for anyone who doesn't know, Michael Flatley is best known as... It's Lord of the Dance. Yes. Dance Lord productions. Yes, present.

That's right. I mean, basically after 20 seconds. In the Michael Flatley film. I've kind of, I've seen enough of that. Ha. The film was in fact self-funded by Michael Flatley, although in an interview some time ago, because this was back in 2018 that it was made, he explained that it wasn't a vanity project.

I know, no, no. He self-funded it because quote, it would have just taken too long to raise the money. And I didn't know what I'd be doing next year. And when the window was there, we had to get it done. Of course you did. And that's exactly it. There's no sense of that, but to completely reasonable explanation of why the long-term millionaire Michael flatlies, I'm sure he had many offers, many people offering. We like to film it, it looks such a great movie.

It was just so much easier to just do it himself. Okay. Do you wanna hear the trailer, or hear the trailer, or just... You want the trailer? Yes, let's do the trailer. Here's the trailer for me, right? Michael Flatley's Blackbird. The Blackbird is dead. We've got to come back and fight. When are we gonna get past this?

I'll never get past this! You could just hide from the world. Victor, Blackly, I believe you have something in mind. But why am I not of your concern? And what I do is out of your control. Place me, Father, before I have sinned, and I'm about to sin again. He's the thing, before you, I haven't seen it, but I have just seen the trailer. We've said before, you can make anything look good in a trailer.

Yes. Apparently. That was, I mean, obviously you just listened to it. But there's, there's, in that clip, Michael Flatley has to kiss somebody. The most straightforward thing you'd have to do in a movie. I am not it. It looks, even that looks, he can't kiss. He's called it a tribute to the golden age of cinema. I think a session on the golden toilet of cinema is closer. So he is victor-blackly, an XMI6 operative who we meet burying the love of his life in the rain wearing a hat tipped at a certain angle.

Apparently he's retiring, which is shame, because as Patrick Bergen's character, Patrick where's the check Bergen's character says he can do things that no other man can do? And he's not referring to the dancing. Fast forward some years, he's now turned into Humphrey Bogart in the white, you know, dinner jacket. Humphrey Bogart and Caster Blanca, except he's running the blue moon in Barbados, wearing the tuxedo. The blue moon, is it like a haven for a whole bunch of people? You know, in the same way that everybody came to Ricks when it turns out that everybody comes to victors,

including Eric Roberts, who is a top crim. How do we know he's a top crimp? Because he's Eric Roberts. That's the role role Eric Roberts does. He's there to do some very shady business with some very shady people, including something involving a formula with a plot that seriously appears to have fallen off the back of an old episode of Thunderbirds. Oh, great.

It's literally, he's got this whole thing, you know, in the wrong hands, in the right hands, this could cure all diseases, but in the wrong hands, it could do absolutely the opposite. Worse, he's turned up with a glamorous woman from Victor's past. Yep, in all the bars, in all the gin joints, in all the world, she had to walk into his. Now, he that was then decide whether or not

to just let the guests get on with their evil crime stuff or whether the problems of two people don't amount to more than a hill of beans in this crazy world, and there are more important things like saving the lives of millions of people. The film dates back to 2018, and apparently in 2021, so there was at least a three-year gap between the film. I mean, for ages and ages, people were trying to see it, asking if it had been finished, and it was all kind of shaded mystery. At the 2021 Monaco streaming film festival, Michael Flatley won the award for Best Actor. Now I couldn't find a

short list of other eligible actors at the 2021, he was better than. Honestly, unless the competition was a selection of Tick Furn furniture and an animated version of that line character from the IKEA catalog who shows you not to hit the furniture with a hammer, I really can't imagine how Michael flatly won best at. I mean, to say that Michael flatly can't act is being unbelievably good. His entire acting style is which angle shall I wear my hat at slightly on the left, slightly on the right, slightly turned down.

Off my head, on my head, there are so many expressive ways of where... I mean, watching him act is like watching somebody learn to do something in public, but not learning at the same time. I mean, I've seen a lot of very bad performances. This is in a stratosphere of its own, but of course, brilliantly, he's doing dialogue that he has written for himself. How does it compare with Gordon Ramsay playing Gordon Ramsay

in no ordinary trifle? It's worse than that. It's worse than Gordon Ramsay playing Gordon Ramsay in no ordinary trifle. Worth remembering, however, at the 39th Golden Globes, and I brought this up before, Pierre Zedora won an award for best female newcomer for Butterfly, which was a film which was financed by her multimillionaire husband, which he gave her as a present, a film to star in. She co-authenticled one, the Razzie's for a worse picture, a worse actress, a worse to star in. She goes, then of course, one, you know, the razzies for, you know, worst picture, worst actress, worst new star. So in many ways, Michael Flatley in Blackbird is the piers Zedora

do not sure. The difference being that he has financed his own Gogantuan, you know, what's the phrase, you can't polish a turd. Vanity projects. In our new liberated world, can we say that? I think that's perfect. I think that's fine. I think that's just, okay, wow. So, yeah, just so I'm making that to that. Vanity projects are, you know, one thing. Insanity project is closer to describing the excellent, to describing a movie in which Michael Flatley,

who the last time I looked, five foot nine, I think, takes out with his bare hands hands an opponent who is literally like the size of a wardrobe, huge muscle bound, but when he comes at Michael Flatley, Michael Flatley has written himself a role in which he can beat the living daylights out of this person. Michael Flatley has also written and directed himself a role in which glamorous women walk into his bedroom, drop their clothes, and he says, oh, no, not tonight, Josephine. I have other more important stuff to do. I mean, obviously that happened because he can do things

that no other man can do. Apparently so. And they don't mean the dancing. So he's literally written, it's a succession of eye-wateringly terrible vignettes in which somebody has given themselves the role of superhero, super fighter, super intelligent, super-swish, super-swive, Humphrey Bogart, and you go, I'm really sorry, if you, if you'd written this for somebody else, it would be sad. Writing it and directing it for yourself is positive. I mean, it's

not just bad. It's eye-wateringly off. There are scenes in this that Tommy Wiseau, who made the room, would have gone, I'm sorry, that's actually not up to snuff. We're going to have to take that out. It's not cinema. This is what happens when people with a staggering amount of money decide that rather than buying Themself a sports car they will buy themselves a star vehicle in which they can play the heroic figure They had always wanted to play now. I want to be absolutely clear about this. I Have I'm sure Michael flatly is a brilliant dancer. Is that right? I've never seen a parenty. So yes, I apparently suck I've seen film of him Apparently so, yes, I have. Apparently so. I've seen film of him doing his tapy tap thing.

That's essentially what it is. Okay, fine. Please stay doing the tapy tap thing. This is not cinema. This is something so staggeringly self-regarding. It's the only way this film can have existed is if the same person wrote directed starred produced in it because if you were in a room with other people and you showed

them a scene from this movie, unless you were paying their wages, there's no way they wouldn't go, I'm sorry, you cannot put that in this, you just can't, you, it's like, no, don't let that out into the world, Keep it on your own mobile phone for your own personal viewing. Yes, maybe if you want to sit at home for a bit of self-aggrandizing half an hour of relaxation, do not show this to other people. It is genuinely, and I mean this to one of the worst films I have ever seen.

And as we all know, I've seen over-sex drug suckers from Mars, you know, I've seen exorcists to the heretic. I've seen sex lives of the potato men. It's so mind-bendingly awful, but the most brilliant thing is this. When I was trying to find out that thing about, I mean, I couldn't, they sent in the publicity release, I think that he won the award for Best Actor at the Monaco Streamy. I thought this can't be right. I looked it up, I couldn't, very hard to find anything about the Monaco Streaming Film Festival. It is true that it happened. And after it happened, there's a piece online in the Sun, the Sun, which says, In the sun, the sun, which says, Lord of the dance, Michael Flatley, has been tipped to enter the frame for an Oscar,

I don't think so. After receiving a claim for his long anticipated passion project, Blackbird, tipped by who? No one. Precisely. Then goes on to say, I'm sorry, whoever wrote this article should be ashamed. The US tapers odds of walking off with a gold statue

at next year have been slashed from 100 to 1 to 50 to 1. Let me just say this for the record. There is no universe. There is no realm of existence other than the Monaco 2021 streaming film festival in which Michael Flatley could win anything for anything in this movie least of all his acting. It is disamely written, it is pathetically directed, it is embarrassingly acted and it is financed from the purses of the person who put themselves on screen to go, look at me, I'm a super spy, you're not. You're the Lord of the Dance. Tabitat. Is it worth seeing for a laugh?

No. Okay. Excellent. Very good. If you'd like to, if you go and sit, well, just don't go and sit. Just don't, don't, we just saved you. It's a home movie. It should be seen in private by the person who made it.

And that's all. What's on Quick Care, Quick What's On, where you email us a voice note, please. Very clever about your festival or special screening from wherever you own the world. Correspondence at comandamoe.com this week. Eleanor Hollington from Peckham and Nunhead Free Film Festival. For those in or near Southeast London, we're running the Peckham and Nunhead Free Film Festival. For those in or near Southeast London, we're running the Peckham and Nunhead Free Film Festival. Yes, all screens are free from the 8th to 18th of September.

You can expect local premieres, documentaries, horror, filmmaking workshops and family-friendly films. Plus, outdoor screenings are bend-it-like peckham on Peckham-right common, and cobbler's Dracula and Nunhead Cemetery. Hi Simon, hi Mark. This is Gemma from the Independence Cinema Office. This month we're delighted to be launching our new National Touring Programme right of way.

Examining access and inclusion in the UK countryside, the programme pairs brand new artist films with rare archive film material to explore historical and contemporary discussions on who has the rights of the great outdoors and who is excluded from it. More information can be found at independentcinemaoffice.org.uk. Gemma, then from the independent cinema office and Eleanor from the Peckham & Nunnhead Free Film Festival. Send your 20 second audio trailer please and if you can act slightly better than flat-lining, that'll be fine. Anywhere in the world, we'll take this from wherever you are. Correspondents of COVID-19.com, a couple of weeks up front will be great,

and we'll give you a shout out, or to be precise, I guess, you'll give yourself a shout out. Because we don't have to do that. Anyway, let's get another movie on. 3000 Years of Longing, which is an adult fantasy adapted from a short story of the gin and the 19-gall's I by AS by, this is directed by George Miller, who made Mad Max films,

which is V-Stwick, Babe, Happy Feet. So, you know, has walked the full counter of fantasy filmmaking. Tilda Swinton is Alethia, British, Naratologist Scholar, who is doing very well- Naratologist. Yeah, she's a scholar of... Of... Of... Of stories. Okay.

The School of Stories. She travels the world investigating lecturing upon the origins and meanings of myths and stories. She's haunted by visions which blur the line between stories and reality. And when she's in Istanbul, she buys a misshapen bottle from which emerges a gin, a genie, played by Idris Elba, who offers her three wishes. However, she's well-versed in such stories, and she knows that offers of wishes are also cautionary tales, his clip.

You mock me. Three wishes, perfectly simple and theoretically safe. I was imprisoned by Solomon precisely because I cried out my heart's desire only by grant to you. Yours may I earn my release. Yes, well, I appreciate the symmetry, but the thing is this, I cannot for the life of me someone of one eligible wish.

And you're asking me for three? Is there any life in you? Are you even alive? You know, in some cultures, absence of desire means in life and death. Then you are a pious fool. If I'm content, why attempt faith? And you're the coward.

Don't go to me. See, I really liked Elizabeth and I really liked Idris Elba. And what happens here is that, you know, rather than coming up with the wishes, she basically asks him to tell her his story, which he does, how he was captured, but in the bottle not once, but several times because he enjoyed the company of women. His story goes back to the Queen of Sheba, through to the present day, involves him falling in love, and during the course of the story, she falls in love with him. So it's a story about somebody falling in love and during the course of the story she falls in love with him. So it's a story about somebody falling in love with stories. Now George Millow's worked because, as I said, a range of fantasy genres, action animation, you know, he knows how to do this.

The problem is, the film is utterly baffling because it's essentially, it's like watching a story that's designed to be read or maybe to be heard as an audio book but almost certainly not to be visualized. I kept thinking of Vincent Ward's film What Dreams May Come or Peter Jackson's The Lovely Bones. Both of these are works by visionary filmmakers who somehow managed to make the afterlife look like, you know, Super Mario world or something. There's something really unforgivingly literal about the omnipresent CGI that seems to strip the story of the very magic that the stories that it's talking about have. And when you're watching a story about

stories but you're being distracted by the computer visuals, that's the point at which you think, okay, this isn't working as a piece of cinema. As I said, I think that Idris Elbera and Tilda Swinton are good. There is a gorgeous score by John Key Excel, Tom Hoganborg, which at times reminded me of the themes from Rachel Portman's Never Let Me Go, which I won my favorite scores of all time. But despite all that, I kept thinking

this would work so much better as an audiobook. Or this would work so much better as an audiobook. Or this would work so much better as a radio play. Or this would just work so much better as a printed short story. It doesn't work as a film and that's a shame. We'd love to hear from you for our next program. Just get in touch, correspondentsacerminamere.com. On any of the issues that you've heard, any of the movies that we've discussed. That's the end of take one. Production management and general all-round stuff, Lily Hamley, cameras, Teddy Riley, videos on our tip top YouTube

channel by Ryan O'Meara. Johnny Socials was Jonathan Imiere. Studio engineer Josh Gibbs, Flynn Rodham is the assistant producer, guest research was Sophie Evann, the producer Hannah Tolbert. She kind of does almost everything. The redacto is Simon Pull Mark, your film of the week. Well, I think it's a qualified film of the week for the forgiven, which we had right at the beginning of the year. And qualified because it's film of the week. And thank you week. Thank you very much for listening. Extra takes available on Monday. More Tim's ball in that.

Thank you. We'll see you then. BYE!