KFC Radio - 2021 Pornhub Year in Review Is SHOCKING Ft. Jimmy Carr and Freddie Prinze Jr.

Episode Date: December 16, 2021

Subscribe, Rate, Share, and Leave a Review! Subscribe to our youtube: barstool.link/KFCRADIO - D3 Basketball player, Connor Williams, is the new BIg Sexy 2.0 - Feits is vacationing in a house with his friends.... but this time there's a baby - KFC gives Feits baby prep - discretely watching porn - 2021 Pornhub Year in Review -AITA - Girls Do Porn - wildest thing from the most unlikely source - neighbors' porch light - Jimmy Carr Interview: he gives us lots of wisdom and inspiration while also ridiculing Feitelberg - Freddie Prinze Jr. on She's All That, I Know What You Did Last Summer, and how The Rock wronged him and his grandma ->>> WWFreddie is part of iHeartMedia's My Cultura Network: https://www.iheart.com/podcast/1119-wrestling-with-freddie-89045423/

Hey, KFC Radio listeners, you can find every episode of KFC Radio on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. The only thing I'll search is a person or, you know, people. Like, if I want, for some reason, I want to see or have an itch, like, that's, I rarely search, like, what I want to see. Yeah, sometimes you search for some black dick. Other than that, you know, I don't know. It's another edition of KFC radio on the Barstool Sports Network. It's Feidelberg and Clancy down to fuck around via Zoom for the first time in a little while. Feidelberg, if you're watching on YouTube, is doing Paint Me Like You're French Girls. He's playing all sexy right now.

I don't have, like i i rented a house with my friends and we're we're on martha's vineyard and i for some reason whenever i don't have like there's nowhere to sit i was sitting on a fucking jimmy jimmy carr is an interview on the show and i was just sitting in this chair oh terrible i like as that interview went on i like we were getting friendly enough where i almost got in bed to my back was killing me. When I just texted you guys being like, yeah, I'm grabbing a bite to eat. I was I was just walking around to my back. So bad.

The interview with Jimmy is awesome. Really one of our better like we're not total morons interviews. Well, mostly him. Yeah. Yeah. I was just saying that's because he did most of the talking. Yeah, he's very smart. I knew he was a smart guy.

To be a comic and be a comic like he is, you've got to be smart and clever and informed. But he really knows his shit. Yeah, I like Jimmy a lot. He was, now that I was surprised, no, I was exactly surprised with the first interview we did way back when that he has no recollection of

I was like oh that's like he's a fucking good dude because I just think of him as the one liner comic I was like oh that was fun that was interesting and insightful and I think this interview is even in Super 6 he's at he truly Jimmy Carr truly did not remember us at all because the show started

and he did the old like so what are we talking about chicken is that what this podcast is about like you've been on the fucking show before jimmy god damn it that was also jimmy was an early early where we sucked at interviewing i bet and also like it was the i i think like so that was probably what five years ago that was in person yeah yeah Yeah. Yeah. Because he did ATI. I don't even I to his credit. I don't remember being in person with him. Like, where were we? What was it was old office. Old office. Yeah. It was he was like he was like a fucking what was the Paul the booker? He was like a Paul booker. Paul. Shout out to Paul.

No, no disrespect to Paul. Nobody's ever been worse at their job than Paul was at booking our guests. Paul, when I write the history of Barstool, Paul might get his own chapter. Just about Paul. Couldn't tell you his last name. Gun to my head. No idea what his last name was. I know what letter it starts with.

I'm going to avoid it. Yeah, no, I don't even know that. He was before Kelly and our current booking team, who are like monsters who book, you know, 24-7 all around the clock to bring in like A-list guests. And Paul was bringing us – I'm surprised you got Jimmy. I can't even believe you got Jimmy Carr. Yeah, my favorite Paul experience ever was when we were in L.A. for something. Oh, we were in L.A. for something.

Oh, we were in L.A. for a video game conference because, yeah, that made sense to send us out there. And we were in L.A. for a video game conference, and we emailed him and said, hey, we're going to be in L.A. next week. Wondered if we could get any interviews out there, anyone looking that you know of. And he replied with, and this is no exaggeration, this is five, six years ago like these these names are still crazy but they're not as crazy as they once were right but it was like there's ellen degeneres there's jimmy kimmel there's uh he might have said oprah it was it was

it was like six of the most famous people what's crazy too though not only was it the most famous people ever but he acted like there was five or six people in la right. What's crazy too though, not only was it the most famous people ever, but he acted like there was five or six people in LA. The reason why we're sending it is like, yo, we're on the left coast. We can do all the people that live out here now. He was like, well, there's three late night hosts, two politicians, and a daytime star. That's it. Okay,

Paul. Idiot. It wasn't like I could get... It was just like, here's five people who live out there. We know who lives in Hollywood. We're wondering like if anyone's promoting something and walking podcast, that was, that was a crazy time. The only, the only thing, the only person people worse at their jobs worse at a task than Paul was at

booking guests is us selling tickets. Cause yet again, I forgot to do it at the top of the show. We're on sale. We are live. Oh, you're going to be on stage live in Nashville for the Nashville comedy tour. Um, this, this came out like these have been on sale, but we haven't really announced it. So some people have already bought their tickets. Uh, but this is the official announcement, uh, on sale Nashville at Zany's Thursday, April 21st or 22nd. I can't remember. It's the Thursday of that week, though. Look that up while I do this.

So Zany's, we're like, it's the comedy fest in Nashville. So Bert's in town, Bill Burr's in town, Segura's in town, all the greats will be down there, too. So we'll probably make a little weekend out of it, do some vlogging, meet up with some of the guys down there. And we'll be live on stage. It's a small venue. It's like 250 people or 300 people or something like that. And like I said, because we kind of had this soft launch, like 150 of them are already sold. So what I'm telling you is if you are in Nashville

or you want to come to Nashville for the Comedy Tour, Comedy Festival, get your tickets right now because they will sell out. April 21st.il 21st april 21st thursday um which is a fun night in nashville gonna be a good time maybe we'll have uh some guests from down in nashville pop on with us so go to what's our what's our official uh link tree for our tickets too we should make this so everybody knows to go where, where to go as we continually add our, our tours. I was Zach.

I believe he was making it. Let me, so we're going to have a link tree. That's just like caves, your radio link tree dot caves, your radio live. And we'll just continually add all of our live links whenever they, whenever the tickets go on sale.

So right now it's that's in April and tickets are for our second Wilbur show in Boston in March. Those are still available for the second one. So Boston, you got a couple, a few hundred more tickets to to get to get to come see us. So get them in now while they're still available, Boston and Nashville. And we're going to look to add maybe a Chicago, Philly. I think we got to do a Jersey stop. So we got a couple of months in between there to play with that. We might, we might do it. We're not doing any of those stops by the tickets to Boston and Nashville. And then maybe we'll add stops later.

Who knows? We're not wherever you live. We're probably not coming there. Plan a vacation around the country. Chase us. We need to, we know what we need. We need like roadies and groupies. I think we kind of do actually, to honest we gotta john john giving the double thumbs up

we do have people who are like bought tickets to both shows in boston who went to all of our shows in new york my god you guys like us huh crazy thanks thanks appreciate it cakes hey thanks guys no stop stop um if you are thinking about getting in shape because you're fat and gross and you're going to do a new year's resolution and whatnot may i recommend lightboxer because it's uh it is the only the only exercise out there right now that i think is actually entertaining bro do you want to know how fucking light box i am bro tell me bro bro i've been ripping the light boxer so fucking hard that i had a dream that one day we were at a maybe super bowl rough and rowdy okay someone dropped out of the fight and you jumped in i was like i'll handle it don't worry bro that you know what's crazy is i think you could do that and i got in

there and i was just like you think if you jumped in and rough and rowdy would you i think you would fight like i don't think you would would you be one of those like haymaker guys i feel like you would be like a fighter i I don't know, man. I'm not saying you're going to go in there and be Floyd, but I also could just see you. I don't know. I could see you just being like looking like a boxer. I have a loose amount of boxing training that I used to do when I was younger.

So I'd be better than an average person. I am by no means going to say I would be, I'm, I'm very, here's what I am. Turn, turn your laptop. Cause the, the sun's coming in the.

Yeah, it's good. Here's what I am. I am good. Fake athletic. I am. I will tell us what that is. I look right.

Natural doing athletic stuff. It doesn't look weird, which I guess at its base level is athleticism, but I'm not good at the sports or anything like that. But I look smooth. I think that in the long run, that's almost more important. And I wish you knew that and understood the importance of that while it was happening. You probably didn't like take advantage of that.

But like when you look back at high school sports, because, you know, if you're lucky enough to play college sports and college sports that matter, fine. Then we're talking about results and like winning and all that shit. But for the rest of us, it's just an activity that we did, you know, and to learn life lessons like the sport itself was so far. So secondary. So, so late in the top, the rankings of what was important about that. And that's another thing that would be great to know. We know that game didn't matter how you and your friends stay together matter. Yes. Yes. But I'll also say that part of it, like I focus so much on that where I was like, it's about being a team player. It's about practice.

It's about like learning how to execute sportsmanship, all that shit. When I should have just been like, yo, it's about going out there and like maybe like razzle and dazzle a little bit. Like, cool. Like put on a show for the crowd. Take that shot. You know, go for go for go for you know your own like i wasn't the one i needed i i shot guns you did oh okay yeah well well you're you were mr uh all all swedish no finish right yeah oh i meant basketball hockey i actually didn't shoot as much

but basketball i was a chucker oh no i can't even believe who let you play basketball you play on a team? The priests, yeah. I played CYO when I was really young. But still, CYO basketball, how old? Maybe until sixth grade. See, I guess when I remember playing seventh and eighth grade CYO, it was pretty serious. We had real coaches.

We were a championship team, and it meant a lot to all the six is a little bit young. The fact that you were on a basketball team, even approaching years that matter, you are the definition of like a, a athlete who plays basketball, not a basketball player. Cause you would go in there. I might've played through middle school. I forget. You were,

you were the hockey player who forgot that, like, you're not playing hockey. You fouled all the time. You couldn't stop, like, hacking at people. You were too rough, and you just chucked the ball off the back. Only shot threes. Fired threes. Did you ever hit threes? Like, yo, I'd go on runs, and it would be like, wait, can he play basketball?

It would be like, four threes in a row what's happening and then i and then like let's see you're at a window how awesome was that moment where you were like four for your last four with four threes yeah dude that was funny too where like i had such low self-confidence that like i couldn't hit a shot and just run back down the court like people do i'd like smile either you and be like, oh my god. Win it, win it, win it. I'd try and play it cool. I was like, that fucking ball went in the loop.

You guys fucking see that? While we're on the topic of basketball, got to give a shout out. Wait, we got to finish this ad. I'm in the middle of an ad? Yeah. Dude, good luck with this new initiative, Nick. I'm in the middle of an ad. Dude, good luck with this new initiative, Nick. Light boxer is the most fun exercise program on the planet. It is at home boxing equipment where it's like playing Simon with the like or bop it where it's like punchy or punch there according

to the lights and it measures how quick you are how accurate you are you're like how you remember the patterns how hard you hit it has an app to track all your progress it has a built-in music library so you can listen to all the top hits which i don't know how they do that by the way they must have a deal with like spotify or apple They got, they got all the heat. Not at all, man. And, uh, and you don't have to leave your apartment. You get out all the anger and frustration. You learn how to throw those hands. You feel cool. You go, you make the noises.

You start to do the McGregor strut and talking accents and stuff. You pretend you're talking to Joe Rogan. Hypothetically, these are all just things that I don't know. Maybe you could do if you were exercising with light boxer. And right now, when you go to a light boxer.com slash KFC, you get a 200 bucks off your purchase. So it's,

it's light boxer.com slash KFC and then code KFC. When you check out, out get 200 off of your lightboxer equipment today this is this is really something i i use this i would say five times a week i think this is really this is a solid solid investment this is like 20 minutes 30 minutes quick workout great sweat if you're considering something for the new year, I genuinely put my name on this one. I very much like it. I want to see this is a free ad I'm going to give real quick. They are advertising with me on One Minute Man on KC Radio.

But I saw these in the the studio the other day. It's a magazine luck box. This one says the truth about extraterrestrials ufos and space x space exploration and billionaires ambitions like this is right up my alley and then this one does iq matter and the science of your brain and shit and so um they're doing it for one minute man but i decided this is going to be my version of reading you know you said you were going to try to read books and stuff and you can't i'm going to read this I'm going to read this. I'm going to read magazines. Well, I'm reading this.

This is what the New Yorker is, bro. Oh, I thought you. Yeah, you're right. I thought you're talking about reading a book or some shit. But they're just long magazines. Oh, see, this is this is why this is why this is going to work. This is like highlights for adults, I think. So all of these are just like quick articles and interesting shit.

So you got it. You got to just lower your expectations. Now, what I was going to say before on the basketball topic, I got to give a shout out to the new big sexy Connor Williams, D3 ball player from like St. Joseph's somewhere. Foolishly, I thought you were going to give a shout out to Steph Curry. No, fuck Steph Curry. St. John's Fisher.

He is a D3 basketball player who is listed, listed at 7'360". Now, my man, Big Sexy 2.0, ain't a pound under 400. And it's probably a pound under like 450 360 a big fella and he can make it rain like fuck steph curry i don't give a shit about you you setting your you're breaking ray allen's record big sexy is he has a set shot and he just sits there barely gets off the ground just pops out of his fucking and it it's splash waterfalls. That clip of him playing ball the other day against Buffalo, there was a couple of them.

But when he twisted his ankle, fell hard, got up, crack out, starts to kind of just walk to the top of the key. I thought he was literally leaving the court. I thought he was like, I'm never going to walk again. I'm out. I'm done with this game. They kick it to him at the top of the key, and he was like i i'm never gonna walk again i'm out i'm done with this game they kick it to him at the top of the key and he was like ah fuck it bam i mean he was he is and i love this guy he i've actually i dm'd with him we texted a little bit because i

was like if you if you're gonna be in new york uh if you're gonna be downstate because he plays at rochester i was like come through because i think he could be the like the next big thing even though it's d3 which hurts you got to be like d1 but i think he could be the next big thing, even though it's D3, which hurts. You got to be like D1. But I think he could be like – D3? What's D3 doing on TV? That's why I got confused because I was like – and they were playing Buffalo.

I thought Buffalo – Yeah. Like University of Buffalo would have a program. So I thought at first he was D1, and I was like, this guy is going to be the biggest thing in college sports. Like he's big sexy. But D3 is a little bit tough. But I, I was guilty of thinking he was like, I don't know, some,

some charity case getting minutes. Turns out he was player of the year in high school, junior and senior year, back-to-back players of the year. Where was he from? I think it was in New York. In the state of New York? I think he was, but again, probably. Is Sebastian Telfair's New York?

Probably. You know, I don't know about what division or whatever, how high school athletics works. But yeah, whatever he's in, player of the year, Sebastian Telfair. I can't believe Johnny Hoops out here dropping Telfair knowledge. Bro, D, I got my last time on a dozen. I got both basketball. I saw that. I saw that.

I saw that. I had a dozen matchup last night that. Well, I don't want to give any spoilers, but yeah, I saw I saw your your your Pistons one. That was like, oh, this is why I was going to say, because I had moment where i i had a gut answer and i and i overthought it and you went with your gut on detroit pistons with carlisle carlisle baby you know it's tough for guys like us to go with our gut we don't do that often or maybe that's all we do no yeah i'm largely a gut i kind of laughed at that but i'm largely gut runs the show around here but yeah but that's funny because you would think that usually if you go with your gut you are a confident person yeah but i'm like weird like i'm so continues the paradox yeah that is kfc radio because you know what it is the only

thing that trumps my lack of self-esteem is my laziness so it's like i don't know i could reason through this question and use logic or i could just go with whatever my brain said right away. And I did it. I fucked myself because my first answer had to do with the Padres. And I was like, no, they're talking about silver sluggers and like, it's probably from a better team. So let me go with the Giants. And I fucked myself. See mine. I don't go. I don't think because of lack of self-esteem where it's like, what are you going to figure this out you fucking idiot no god we are a psychology we're gonna sit here and use your fucking brain no you had a guess go with the guesses yeah you had a guess go with the guests beautiful uh let's talk um by the way last night so i'm on the vineyard and uh this is our first like friend trip with like there's a baby involved

now what am i yeah i i who has a baby emma and rob oh right right right and um i woke the baby up last night first first first night ever sleeping with a baby in the house what did you do i just flushed the toilet but idiot idiot you were right away you were right i didn't realize i mean i knew it what i should have done was we should have done that last episode we should have done baby prep so let's do it for the idiots now for the morons who might be around babies for the first time in the holidays number one don't flush the toilet number one and number one through 10 is don't wake the baby so that means flushing the toilet that means even getting out of bed walking on creaky floors turning on a faucet opening a fridge pouring a drink of water even just getting out of bed you

just lay there motherfucker he is he's he's like one and he so far, I've been with him for, I don't know, 20 hours now. Unbelievable baby. He's cried like for like 30 seconds this morning. That's, yeah, he's a great, great baby. But when I, once I flushed the toilet, I immediately heard stirring. So then I tiptoed back to my bed and got into my bed quietly. So they'd think it was just somebody else. It was my flush in the toilet.

Didn't wake up the parents. So, and then like, as I was I was closing my eyes to fall back, it was like 5 a.m. That's the worst because then it's like the day basically starts. I was closing my eyes and I was like, oh, he's really getting going.

Then I was out. You know what we should invent? A silent flush. Truly silent. I know they have like slow, low, whatever. But like, you know, they have that silent fan. There needs to be one that you flush and just the water. I don't know.

It just goes away and there's no noise. That would be pretty beneficial for me because I use the phone. I use the toilet when I'm on the phone. You know what I do a lot of times is I I put the phone, let's say, in my left hand and I get like all my body as much of my body out of the sometimes I even take it away from my ear. The other person's talking, hold it all the way out around the corner of the of the bathroom and I flush and I run. I very often do that. Other times I will hit the mute button. Oh, yeah, that's stupid.

Yeah, just mute it. That's so much easier. I flush and run out. But then I go, sorry, I lost it for a second. do that other times i will hit the mute button oh yeah that's stupid yeah just mute it that's so much easier i flush and run out but then i just go sorry i lost you there for a second when i yeah god we're dumb uh what else can you what else what else uh what are other tips i can give you for um for babies i'm trying to think of the things that non-baby people do that I fucking hate you for. It's really just coming down to sleep. It's just don't wake the baby. Yeah, just don't fucking, just don't get in my way of any of this shit, man.

God, they must hate you right now. No, they were, when I came down, they were like, it wasn't you. I was like, it was me. Oh, it was totally you. And they're saying it's okay, but they're not. They leave. You laid in bed going, fucking John. I told you he was going to be a problem this weekend. They're like, no, he doesn't. That's okay.

I was like, that one was me. I don't know. You're sharing a house with a few people, baby, probably some thin walls, close quarters. It's going to be tough for you to get your Pornhub fix in. You know what I mean?

Yeah. Oh, Kevin, one of the first things I thought about. One of the immediate things. I was the last one to get here, and I was like, all right, what room am I staying in? And then as I was walking to it, I was like, a lot of other rooms around here. If I was first, I'd have gone to the far room.

Yeah. Are you going to do, like, the one click of volume for your porno dude i'm i'm i'm i'm good going fucking silent yeah i can i can rip silent i know you've told me like to switch back and forth that was the old that was my preferred way but if in a pinch if necessary it's like drinking Listerine when you need a buzz. It's not the way I want to get it done, but I'll do it. And in both cases, you're an addict of something. That was only in high school. In high school, we drank Listerine.

Did you? I mean, it was hardly a regular thing. It was occasionally. How much? Like a shot. All right. I knew a kid in like like seventh grade we had like an intervention for him as like 13 year olds really it was like he would come up we would

just kind of like walk when i live in city island we would just kind of like go to the playground like walk around it was just like i don't know be outside on the island and uh he was like we like so i'm with this crew you're with this crew we just kind of walk the island run into each other whatever hang out you know and so we like ran into him i don't know if he was with somebody else or not but he was you know walking the island on his own just like stumbling fumbling bumbling and i was like oh like what you know what do you got like you know we were young it's like did you steal this did you swipe that it was like, oh, like, you know, what do you got? Like, you know, we were young. It's like, did you steal this? Did you swipe that? It was like a bottle of Listerine.

Like, that sounds dangerous and disgusting. He ended up being somebody pretty, like, polished and successful. Crazy. Crazy. He did RoboTrip all the time. He just slammed a bottle of RoboTrip. Yeah, that. My favorite thing ever was my buddy did that in college and threw up and it was just that green green color came flying back

up it was amazing um um uh poured up yeah when i was when i was a dad when i was dead when i was a husband i guess i was in the bathroom and i would do the yeah you look to get your visual you brought about your ear look here so you get it's almost it's the it's the um it's the adult version of when you were a kid and you would do channel up channel down did you do that on my cable box my cable box when i was again in the bronx was um it had the the buttons on, on the box itself. And we would watch the scrambled porn. Okay. But if you went up, down,

up, down, up, down, it would stay on that channel kind of. And the, and it would like still be black and white and weird, but it would kind of like come through clear for a moment.

So you just go, I know what you're saying. Made that might've worked for me. Yeah. I had a TV in my room. I don't remember how I got it stuck. Maybe it was just a higher number channel, but it would get stuck on one of those fuzzy channels.

Yeah, and it wasn't totally clear, but it was like swaths of it would stay. Yeah, I mean, this was the fucking buffering era. Yeah. You think you know shame from premature ejaculation? Try fucking finishing before a picture loads like i didn't even get down to her vagina yet and and when and when it looked like when the clip finished buffering it was like 10 seconds i mean it's like not great um but yeah so i did one you know get the get the sound get the look

get the sound get the look i you can go you can go silent, of course. But, you know, part of it is that Nancy Reagan, you want to hear that. Why? Why? Why? You know, I think Nancy Reagan might might have been our my the most fun I've ever had on a podcast. Stop it. Stop it. Stop it right here. That. Yeah, it was disgusting. You're fucking gross. Oh oh you are a vile oh you're john you can't be drooling on a podcast especially when it's because you're doing sexual things you're like eating food i'd be like all right whatever you're just a neanderthal

you're fucking drooling because you're mimicking sex noises. Dude, I don't even know where that went. You're in a house with a baby, John. But what was he going to say? Yes, I agree. That was, I mean, that was, honestly, I don't even need the full segment. The full segment was great. Just your face when the revelation was made.

I was so sad. What Nancy Reagan was, was just primo stuff. The most FOMO I've ever experienced. And then I got angry. Nick said, I went through all the stages of grief in like one in one, like in like 10 seconds, I went,

I was so sad. And then I was mad. And then I accepted the fact. And I think so. The feedback I've gotten from girls is that the the lifetime blowjob number is too low. Well, yeah, you're talking a bunch of hussies, a bunch of chicks who gobble dick. But, you know, I guess you got to factor in there's a whole. And I also was thinking to myself, old chicks don't suck dick.

But old chicks probably did suck dick. They didn't want to lose their virginity. It's just as it as it happened before yeah you don't need to still be playing the game but did you play the game at yeah but but i was thinking like i wasn't factoring in that like back when you were trying to keep your virginity you would just blow a bunch of dicks so it was probably more back then than even now and then you know you think about how many chicks are dumb and are like, I don't want my number to be high. So I'll just slobber on this man's dick. Cause if that's not some sort of intimate sexual act that shouldn't count against my record, but all of a sudden, you know, I think it's the, the, um, the, the average number of sexual partners in, in, in the United States was seven for a lifetime. So you got to think that

it's more girls suck more dick than they have sex with, you know? So I think it's probably, but it's not, I mean, I, we said 10, I think it's probably like double the number I'd say, take your sexual partners, double it because every, for every one guy you fucked, there's two guys that you were like, well, I'll just blow him because they're dumb idiots. So it's closer to like 14, but it is funny when you see you can, you get a lot. We've done this before when I said that, that blow jobs should count against your, your actual number, watching certain people's reactions.

No, no, no, no way. And it's like, well, someone's number would quintuple apparently if I were to do that. So but anyway, as we're talking here about statistics and porn, Pornhub has released their Spotify wrapped. They although I hate to even compare it because Pornhub has been doing this. They've been doing their year end wrap up statistics for a long time now because they really are the greats when it comes to, you know, marketing and, and all that shit. They know what they're doing.

And these numbers that people that they put out there, people absolutely love them. John has not seen these numbers. So this is like the statistics, the year in review for 2021. Hang on. Let me plug my computer in about the time. 2021 year in review. Eighth year in a row that they've been doing these. So I'll ask you a couple of questions here.

What do you think is the number one country that consumes porno? Ooh, Japan. Nope. It's us. It's us? Yep. Japanese have a lot of people though right yes uh well but it i think a lot of people per like you know mile but it's small small yeah you know um so is that question

that question is per capita or that question i should ask this beforehand or population i don't know john um john i don't know These are made up statistics to go viral. I think it was something like 79% of the porn is consumed in America or something like that. Okay, let's get to the real shit, though. The most searched term in the year 2021. If you would like a hint, I can give you last year's number one. Okay. It's not going to be anything normal.

Last year's number one is now this year's number two fell one spot. That search term was Japanese. Okay. So it's not going to be anything normal because. That hint actually, you could get this normal because that that hint actually could you could you could get this answer based on that hint if you think about okay it is um the answer is anime uh the hentai yeah hentai yeah um but it is because nothing normal is ever going to be on this list because like i feel like the normal people, which I consider myself one, don't search.

I think I'm a normal porn consumer and I just go to the front page and whatever's there. I don't, I don't come in being like typing in shit. I'm like, the only thing I'll search is a person or, you know, people. Like if I want, for some reason I want to see or have an evidence, like that's I rarely search like what I want to see. Yeah. Sometimes you search for some black dick other than that you know i don't know so uh here are the top searches hentai japanese number three lesbian oh my god it's so gay all those 13 year old boys and all those

pussy chicks were like oh i can't watch real sex. I need to watch fake oral sex between two girls. Talk to me when you get some cock in your porn, you children. Big ones, too. Big fat dicks. Number four is MILF. Number five, I'm just

learning right now. Dude, MILF is going to be the cockroach of porn. It'll last forever. Yeah. I mean, and think about think about the like, you know, the dudes who wrote that, who came up in American Pie, like

it was some joke in a teen movie that ends up being like a deeply sexual porn term for the rest of time. Yeah, but I mean, clearly, even in their writing it it tapped into something like it was yeah there was some and and like even even the you know i think back to like young blood like a movie in the 80s rob low movie where it's t with miss uh i forget her name but you know he's he's having sex with an older woman that's there's

george straight's uh fucking what's george this is robinson classic you know this is rob yeah so like it's it was nice to have a a label right searchable but like that's that's something that's been in our brains for yeah there's some like oedipus shit going on there no doubt i guess yeah yeah i guess it's oedipus number five this is a word i've never heard before. Pinay. P-I-N-A-Y. It's up 13 spots. It's a Filipino woman.

Ah. Also, if that's a derogatory term, that doesn't count. I didn't know, so I can't get it canceled for that. It is just a regular? Yeah, just a regular-ass Filipino woman. Number, going through the rest of the searches here, it goes Penne, Asian, stepmom, anal, ebony, big ass, massage, threesome, anime, Latina, cream pie, public, Korean, big tits, BBC, gangbang, blowjob, squirt, amateur POV, teacher, cosplay, Chinese, JOI, Indian, black.

So those are the top searches. But these are the searches that defined 2021, meaning things that were specific to this year and changed. So like hentai was number one, but romance number two, with a 139 increase in words like passionate romantic romance and bromance went up 288 percent in the gay section of pornhub romance romance from us well no but think about it think about that that is like kind of their maybe their version of step brother and sister where it's like your your buddy you have a bromance with he's straight but like i'd love to fuck him and then like you turn him in the locker room or something i don't know hypothetically what a gay guy might you know

that makes sense right like the bromance turns to a romance but but more importantly everybody out here wants a little love and passion yeah i mean i guess that's that's not for me no thanks um group sex went up big time um which also i think makes sense like the fact that we now know that like pineapple means swapping and oh that's actually a different term number five is swapping went up 170 percent with terms like swinger and swinging and cuckold and cheating and i like that makes sense because those remember we learned this year at least i did the pineapple and the adirondack chairs yeah yeah like the fact that we know things in pop culture now that you put outside means that you get to like fuck my wife there's an increase going on for sure the uh the swapping

that was a bigger search term for me back in the day really and it was a different kind of swapping yeah i feel you yeah that's when we learned the term snowball and never the same that's really one of the things i was like oh i'll never be the same i'll never be the same about this uh four is fitness yoga running exercise and gym all went up so everybody i have noticed this as well a lot of yoga instructor yoga pants that's that's some like uh the only fans of the the point of community type deal where it's like oh yeah i'm shredded like you look at fucking no face girl she's like she, she's like strong. Yeah. Like in good shape. You look at, um,

but strong Hawkeyes, fuck.com. What? No. What? Who? Uh, how about this?

Number six, this one's really interesting. Cause this has to just do with Tik TOK and social media challenge is one of the most searched terms for things like the bus at challenge, like the, the, the Tik TOK challenges that were more like sexy, where you were like, or the red light challenge or whatever,

where you're in the background looking all hot. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And also try not to cum challenges, jerk off challenges, you know? Yeah, I always lose that one. Number seven, transgender making moves, which as we said, mathematically, proportionally speaking, you get more parts, even if you're straight the the numbers check out if it's a number numbers check out although the dicks sometimes

kind of get weird but that's all different yeah yeah sometimes i guess i'll pick it up number eight is goth number nine is roommate and number 10 up 245 is just the phrase how to specifically how to squirt how to eat pussy how to suck dick how to put on a con last longer how to finger myself how to shave balls how to make a dildo how to find a g-spot and how to make her come so people out here are smartening up which that makes sense honestly i don't i don't think i've ever done the how-to, but if you haven't used Pornhub to learn how to fuck, you probably don't fuck good. I learned all sorts of shit on there. It is funny to think

you could just be using YouTube. YouTube is full of how-tos. How to build a garage. How to build a door. I don't know what people build. I really don't. But it makes sense that the sexual proclivities would spill into Pornhub.

They said they believe Glory Hole jumped up 27 spots and they think there's a chance that it's because the CDC in Canada, where Pornhub is located, recommended like putting your dick through a hole for COVID. that makes sense which is kind of correct it does but it doesn't unless you're going to make one at home which go ahead if you're doing homemade glory holes more power to you you fucking freak but otherwise you're finding glory holes point of glory holes if you're making them at home yeah unless you're just letting strangers come like just having your dick hang out there with the by the mailbox like you do whatever you want i think if you're going to say that glory holes are being used to keep things clean

i don't know if that checks out they're in the most despicable disgusting places in the world um number top porn star in the world who is it number one it's got to be. I feel like the Michael Jordan of porn. Lena still got it. Lana Rhodes. Yep. She really is. Michael Jordan. You know, MJ still sells the most sneakers every year, even though he's retired.

That's Lana. What's that? Top 10. Riley reading there. She got. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah, it is. Hang on.

So. Number one. Where'd it go? Fuck. For the third straight year, it's Lana. Number two is our girl, Abella. Oh, yeah. Dude, Lana did one.

Oh, wait a minute. I guess this is most searched, which is fair, but I'm going to go by the views measurement, right? Abella did more views. Abella did more views. Bella did more views. So Lana was more searched, but she did 1.2 billion and a Bella did 1.3 billion. And Riley Reed did 1.369. So it's actually double R is the real champ.

So if you go most searched, it's Lana, a Bella, Eva, Elfie, Riley Reed, mia malkova angela white mia khalifa jordy el poyo nino how about how about the jackie robinson of porn representing for the fellas cracking in the top 10 who's that uh lena paul lena paul is lena paul's good good one that's i know every actually i don't know everyone there was one person there I didn't recognize, but I know most of those people intimately. Yep, yep. But Abella, views-wise, it goes Riley, Abella, Lana,

Mia Markova, Angela White, Eva Elfie. But man, you know, girls are already catty. I'd imagine that Abella and them have to be like, fuck Lana Rhodes. God damn it. She doesn't even do this.

She's retired. Now, how about we'll switch over to my territory, the most viewed amateur amateurs. I was surprised to see this. Do you know Yin Yi Leon?

Yes. Big, big, big, big booty girl. Huge ass, right? She got the most views. 330 million amateur views. Luxury girl. You know her? No.

You don't know your amateur game. You cover the professionals and i'll cover the amateurs yeah uh so for the weirdos out there who know this shit like me luxury girl guys who hang around rucker park instead of going to math and square yeah i'm in it for the love of the game i'm scouting the next the next great thing you know i'm larry brown i'm just trying to make a team that can get to the playoffs you You're Phil Jackson. You take them to the fucking. Luxury girl was top three. The start of us is number four.

Go watch the start of us. How about this? You know, Danica Maury. She's clocking in at eight. Eight. Nine is Danica Maury and Leo Lulu. And no face girl is there. I think this is a top 20.

So she would be number 19. Oh, and Mr. Pussy Licking. Shout out to him. Oh, no. And last thing we'll do here, I just want to go state by state. If you want to throw out some states, and I can give you their most searched term of 2021. Okay.

Idaho. Idaho. So happy you picked that first. That was actually going to be the grand finale because it is by far the funniest. And it's something that is going to blow your mind and change your mind. And maybe remember how we were saying, like, we found quicksand porn because it burnt a few years ago. And we were saying, like, we haven't found a new porn since then. We found it. Really?

Giant tests. Giant tests. Like, but it's not, it's not what you think. It's not just giant chicks. It's pretending you're a giant. So like, it's a, it's a, it's a normal size girl. I mean, she's probably, you know, she's probably an Amazon. It size girl i mean she's probably you know she's probably an amazon she's like a little bit bigger probably but she's not obviously like eight feet tall

right the bigger girl but it's like she then has like little toy cars and she's like look at the giant like running through the town what yes it's like to scale so there's like these little houses and little toys and it's like the giant and one's like I shrunk my stepbrother. So it's all these things about trying to make you look like you're a giant. That's why Jordy's so hot on the streets right now.

Everyone's into size disproportionate. I mean, Idaho, man. What's going on out there? Bro, that's so bizarre especially for just people from Idaho. I guess that's just they desire a big city living. They want to see the Godzillas and the King Kongs and the tall buildings. It's like filming a Godzilla movie where they just make it all look big.

Right. Give me another state. Let's see how my guy Rhode Island's doing. Rhode Island is rim job. Rhodey Rhode Island rim jobs. My hometown of New York is foot job. Foot jobs? Both of us getting kinky out here.

I'm going to just have to get a foot job at some point. You ever got a foot job? No. You have? Never till completion. That's what I mean. I want to like, I've had people kick me in the penis before.

That's, that's, that's what it is. I never like, you know, in between the soles in between the toes, I just don't think it would be great. It's a box checker.

It's like, yeah, it's like 69 for adults. You just get it over with, you know, I'm not going to come like this. You, you're not Dwight Schrute.

You don't have the foot control to really knock this thing out of the park. It ends up just being like, all right, what's the next one? How about shout out to Maine, which is just going straight for the goods with fisting.

What? That's their most searched term, fisting. It can't be the most searched. Numbers never lie. Connecticut is swingers, which makes sense. I could see swanky Connecticut couples being like, let's fuck each other, right? Oh, yeah.

Fem Dom in New Jersey. All these tough gindaloons in New Jersey are probably getting pegged. Don't worry. Some of the weirder ones. Very specifically in Iowa, Harley Quinn. I ain't mad at you, but that's kind of specific, right? No, I'm throwing a flag here, man. That cannot be the most searched term.

You're going to be really surprised with some of these other ones. Wisconsin is lesbian yoga. I believe that more than Harley Quinn. It It's most searched term compared to the other states I don't know if I follow that Oh so like the most Like others Like so they could have Like there could be 10 searches for Harley Quinn all year long

But no other state searched for it So their number one is Harley Quinn Yeah Okay well I fucked that up for one minute man but whatever my version's better um so like giant test probably like one person ever actually searched giant test yeah it came in in idaho um let's go yeah so shout out to iowa nick and his people out here are searching harley quinn um jackie's california is asian Um, Jackie's California is Asian. Um, where's Zach from Massachusetts mass. So mass is, um, mass is hot wife.

You monogamous motherfuckers right through my wife, right through the middle of the country, starting with, uh, North and South Dakota. It goes quickie sex doll. Nebraska is moaning. Kansas is pantyhose natural tits for Oklahoma. And then thick Latina for Texas. How about this Louisiana?

Like they, like they were like a 12 year old who just found the computer. It's just naked women. I want to see boobs. I just want to see boobs and butts. Kyle Rittenhouse is down in fucking Louisiana searching. Oh, no. You know what?

Kyle Rittenhouse is in Colorado. I think it is huge boobs. But my two favorites, if I'm if I'm picking where in the nation I'm going to live based on this Montana anal cream pie and and Washington State double penetration. My kind of states. Let's go. So you could check it out. Pornhub has their whole thing under Pornhub dot com dot com slash insights. If you want to check it out. Shout out to our girl Aria

I'm sure she's sitting there slaving over her Excel spreadsheets coming up with all this Mentioning a Bella reminded me of A Instagram story she had A few days ago it was just a repost of a tweet Or something like that no it was a repost of like a TikTok Or whatever and it was It was

I forget maybe it was I don't know it was one of those fucking trends. Okay. Whatever. And it's wanting to wake him up with the brain emoji, but also respecting consent. Wait. I don't know what you're explaining to me at all. I lost you

completely. What is it? You know those TikToks? It's not important. Okay. Let's say it's a tweet these are words written out and it says wanting to wake him up with brain oh with respecting consent oh and and i we've talked about this extensively because because i think i think to a man all men can say we've been assaulted in our sleep many a time. But like in a good – I've never been upset about it.

Have you? Oh, I've never been upset about it. But we're going by letter of the law here. I've got a lot of calls to make to a lot of police officers. Sure. But I'm just saying, has there ever been a time where you've woken up to some head and been like, fuck, I wish you didn't do that? No, no no never however has there ever been a time where you woke up and she's sleeping next to you and you thought might as well go eat her pussy

that's an insane thought it is that is it doesn't go both ways it really does not even come close to like like dude like i've got i'll wake you up with some hands. I'll get touchy, but I'm not going to just throw my tongue in it. Bro, I've woken up inside people before. And, like, imagine if you woke... I'm in a bed. We can do it. Imagine if you woke up and I was just on top of you like this. Dude. Like, that's how I've...

I've woken up in this position while someone's on top of me being like. What? What is that? Imagine if that happened. You woke up and it's just like, hey, good morning. Folks, once again, I'd like to remind you there is a baby next door to John right now as he does all this. John, give me the other one again. Give me the other one again with your face. And you also got to bounce a little bit to make it make it real so we can bounce

so nick can make a video back and forth yeah like like the fact that we've been just look we're not complaining here we're just saying the fact that you think that's okay is there something wrong with you like no yeah there's something wrong in your brain i i will also say i do think you've been raped more than the average man it sounds like i mean you i think you are just the king of morning wood oh yeah you're just always ready to fucking get sat on yeah you are just a seat that is always available there like there have been times like you go to bed pretty drunk. You forget you even went to bed with someone when you wake up with someone.

And you're like, I don't even know when I fell asleep. Like, did I fall asleep? Have I been awake the whole time? Did I go to bed bad or did I just kind of black out and I'm coming out of it right now? That's like Sweet D what am i in america it's like is this is this real am i still sleeping or what this sucks man i gotta i got a lot of acting to do right now oh goodness gracious all right should we do some am i the assholes am i the asshole today is brought

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and smell good at manscaped.com. Provo code KFC. Give the baldiest gift of the year with Manscaped. Shout out to them. They're always quick with the... They're always witty with their copy. All right. Am I the asshole? Real quick, did you guys see Dion stole Florida State's

number one recruit? Shout out to Primetime. Yo, recruiting against Dion Sanders has got to be one of the most difficult things in the world. And I don't care. He could be, you know, Jackson State is on the up. So, like, I'm sure that all of their training and facilities and all that is already state of the art.

But let's say it wasn't. No, I don't think it is. So, then fine. Let's say this is Mighty Ducks. District 5, they still don't think it is. So then fine. Let's say this is Mighty Ducks. District 5, they still don't have any uniforms or anything. I still would be nervous to have

Deion out there. He's going to swipe away Alabama recruits soon enough. Could you imagine if you're doing the whole process and everyone else is doing it regular and then Prime shows up and he's just like, yo, what what up man like come hang out with me i'd be like okay see you guys done people are joking that he's sending in dana beers

as the closer i i don't doubt that he could steal away like anybody in the game uh and if they start to they keep winning games the way they have been, watch out, man. It is crazy. It's funny to think... One of the college football guys I follow, he was like, I honestly didn't think Deion was going to stay in Jackson for a spring.

Right. Maybe I don't have enough knowledge of the situation, but he said when Deion got there, there wasn't running water. I don't know if that's a joke. I don't know what that of the situation, but he said when Dion got there, there wasn't running water. I don't know if that's a joke. I don't know what that means. Right, right, right. But it was not good.

Yeah. But that's what he's going to do. He's going to transform it, right? And are they an HBCU? Yes. Yeah, so I know that's probably near and dear to him, too. He's not going to just bounce. But that is such a testament to how fucking cool he is that i mean it's like i can

make anything cool i mean that's kind of dirty to do to your school come on well you know people were talking about like i don't know if he was ever legitimately in the running for head coach there but i wonder if there was some discussions ever had or whatever and it was like all right oh i'm gonna go to i'm gonna go here then. Mr. Steal Your Girl. That's awesome. That is so cool. Yeah, am I the asshole for stealing my alma mater's number one prospect? I say no. I say no.

I say it's your ex. Your ex is fucking, you know, it ain't you. It's not yours anymore. Okay, yeah. This one just came out yesterday. This is some, am I the asshole for snapping? When I found out that a guy saw my girlfriend naked,

he's a 25 male. She's a 23 female. She lives with a roommate who has a boyfriend, Jeff. We gathered at their place last Friday for pizza. After a while, Jeff asks Lydia, if she is still scared of being alone here at night on the nights.

Sorry. Jeff asks Lydia if she is still scared of being here alone the nights the roommate goes over to his place and I can't come over to her place. Lydia has always had some trouble being alone at night, and most nights I stay on FaceTime with her until she falls asleep so that she feels better, safer. The roommate laughs and says that if she hears a noise in the bathroom, at least it will just be a ghost and not her locked in there, passed out. Lydia just mouths, explain later to me. When we get to Lydia's room, I ask her to explain, and she tells me that this afternoon she wasn't feeling good, ended up fainting in the shower. So Jeff had to break the door down to get the roommate in to help her. She said that she already felt better and didn't want to tell me because I was going to be worried about nothing. I said, if it wasn't nothing, if she had fainted, I said, it wasn't nothing if she had fainted and that I should be aware of these things to help her.

She said, now it would just be a funny story about how Jeff broke the door and the roommate had to cover her with a towel so they could come to the rescue of her naked body. That moment I saw red. I asked if Jeff had seen her naked and she said she couldn't be sure since she was unconscious, but the roommate said that he stood out of the bathroom until she was covered. I asked if Lydia thought it was fair to me to not know that another guy had seen her naked. And she said he didn't actually see her naked and that it shouldn't matter since he was only helping. I shouted that just I shouted that she just said that she was unconscious and couldn't know if he saw her. She told me to be quiet or they would hear me.

And I shouted that I didn't care that a man just saw my girlfriend's body and I had the right to be mad. Jeff and the roommate come in and then explain he never saw anything. He just broke the lock and waited outside until the roommate gave him a clear. I said that I didn't believe him. And the roommate jumped to his defense saying she was right there to make sure the situation wasn't embarrassing so they could take proper care. I said that she was a. I said that if she was a cuckold, I wouldn't be. Jeff then shouted at me, saying I should respect his girlfriend and mine, who spent the whole day saying that she was fine, but looked a little bit pale. He said he didn't care about Lydia. Over the weekend, Lydia had to be admitted to a hospital. Said she didn't feel good again. And Jeff and the roommate prohibited me from seeing her.

Saying I didn't deserve her. Obviously, the whole hospital thing sucks. And I wish I was there for her. But I still think I was right. At this point, I'm not mad at Lydia anymore. Just Jeff. I mean. This is insane.

I would have thought that this is like an 18-year-old or something. Like a kid who has a girlfriend for the first time. What was the age? 25. Yeah, you're a fucking lunatic, man. It was weird. That's a hilarious story. I'd tell that story right away. That's fucking funny.

It seems like she didn't tell it because there are some preconceived notions that appear accurate about telling your boyfriend funny stories that involve your nudity. Yeah. But the – and that's probably due to his past behaviors. Yeah. You'd be like, I'm just not even going to tell him that. Someone else saw me naked.

But the fact that you're like – someone saw you naked? Yeah, bro. I passed out on the side of the bed. They knocked the door down to get me. Right. What are you talking about? Like, what about – I like, someone saw you naked. Yeah, bro. I passed out on the side. They didn't knock the door down to get me. Right. What are you talking about? Like, what about, I mean, I don't know. Like, have you ever had like, did you ever go to the hospital or surgery or something?

The doctor saw you naked. Is that, are you going to freak out about that? I mean, this guy is a, this guy is like an abusive lunatic and you should run for the fucking hills before something really bad happens. I bet both these people are disgustingly ugly. You think yes just just the icing on top of the cake all four of these people they're some bags they're trash oh they're fucking they are wastes of like the hospital was like imagine thinking that like like this guy jeff like he shouldn't get to see my girlfriend's body naked when your girlfriend's body is like 320 with like hair and grossness.

Like, yeah, he probably didn't even want to see your girlfriend's body. He just had to save her fucking life, dude. Dude, the hot, the fucking accountant was talking to the hospital account was talking to the doctor being like, why are you charging these guys so much? And he's like, look, look, oh, my God, you're not charging them enough. This is like, what? This is disgusting. You should retire before you help these people. This is the bottom of the barrel of humanity.

These I fucking really don't like these people. I think you're like even just Lydia, who was just helping her friend. She can catch it, too. Lydia's all right, I guess. But the rest. Well, I mean, Lydia and Jeff, right. They're ugly, no doubt. But they're all right. Because because they're and Jeff are right. They're ugly, no doubt, but they're all right.

Because they're so ugly, they're not hanging out. The other people are so ugly that Lydia and Jeff aren't hanging out with them unless they're ugly too. You know what I mean? Yes, I agree. So it's a disgusting group of human beings. Like God sees these four sitting in a hotel room every night before he goes to bed, and he's like, God. That's when God weeps. That's when he cries. He cries every night because God catches these four sitting in a hotel room every night before he goes to bed and he's like, God. That's when God weeps. That's when he cries. He cries every night because God

catches these people. He's like, I forgot I fucking made them. Okay, this one. So we're in agreement. He's the asshole. Hard to be the asshole. This one has got to be one of those

scripted ones trying to go viral. Am I the asshole for not attending my daughter's gender reveal for her lizard? I don't think this is made up. Okay. How old do you think the daughter is? 26. Wow. 23.

I was going to say, like, this is like your eight-year-old's daughter. Eight-year-old daughter, like, just go along with the fun or whatever. 23, bro. She has a blue-tongued skink who she heavily adores. She jokingly refers to it as her daughter. I found it weird, but she said it's because it's the closest thing she'd have to a child, and she feels that emotional strong bond similar to a child. She has decided to remain child

free for multiple reasons and I have been very supportive of this decision. Well, she recently took her skink. Skink sounds like a racial slur. Yeah. Get this fucking dirty skink off of me. A skink is a lizard? It's a lizard. She took the

skink to the vet for a checkup and she was excited to find out her skinks gender after wire words. I got a text. If she could come to her gender reveal party, she was having, she explained. It was just a small get together with cake and food for her friends. You hadn't seen in a while with the gender reveal being mostly a joke and a way to make fun of real gender reveals. Oh, okay. So, well, I didn't come. I didn't see a point. It's just a lizard and I'm a busy person. She later called me and expressed. She was kind of sad, I didn't come. I didn't see a point. It's just a lizard and I'm a busy person.

She later called me and expressed she was kind of sad I didn't come. It had been a while since I'd seen her, but she understood I was busy. I told her she couldn't exactly expect me to come to a gender reveal for a lizard. She said that it wasn't a real gender reveal, that it was more of a joke and it was more of just a small gathering. She got, oh, she said, I told her that if that was the case, she should have just called it a gathering because I'm not coming to a gender reveal unless it's for a real granddaughter. She got quiet for a minute and then turned my words around, claiming I wasn't supportive of her decision to be child free. I told her she can't possibly expect me to treat a lizard as a granddaughter. She said she didn't expect me to.

It was clear I didn't. But it was clear I didn't respect her bond with her lizard and her decision. She just wanted me, she just wanted to see me. And my reason for coming was hurtful for not coming was hurtful. I told her she was being ridiculous over a lizard. She, I said, it wasn't the lizard. It was the gathering. She hung up and I got a message from her best friend about how I'm an asshole for treating her that way. But I don't think I'm the asshole for not wanting to go to a party for a lizard. I think this isn't everyone's the asshole. She goes, I don't know why this matters, but the skink is a girl.

And that's why I said I'm not coming unless it's a real granddaughter. I would say everyone's the asshole because, well, let's start the mom is the asshole she made it in asshole comment but she was forced into that well because this is just a joke like it was just like fucking around like well right so at first i thought i was going to say that the daughter was an asshole for having a gender reveal for elizabeth it sounds like it was a joke it's like a theme party she just wanted to have people come over and she had just done this thing

with the vet anyway so make it a joke but but it's not like she's obsessed with this lizard and it's weird the there is like there was one comment in there which is like you don't respect the relationship lizard that's weird that's weird but that wouldn't have come up unless you were like i'm only coming like again right it's having a goofy ass party dude like yeah but okay but here's the thing like i'm having a goofy ass party but like if we knew someone who had an instagram for their dog and brought their dog everywhere and talked to it in a baby voice and said that they were a dog parent or whatever they dog mom or whatever. And then they also had a party for a quote unquote joke. We'd be like,

yeah, we know you're not, we know you're not doing a real gender reveal, but yet again, you're being a real over the top asshole about your pet. Right. You know? So like,

you're still, even though you're not going, it's, you said the right word pet not lizard if you're an over-the-top asshole on any pet about any of the animals any animals you're a fucking no you're an ass it's so it happens to be a lizard and sure there are levels to it all but if you're over the top asshole on any of the pets you own yeah this was a puppy i'd still be like this is weird yeah so she is kind of an asshole for just not just the specific party just for her behavior with her pet the mom is an asshole for turning this into a huge thing for being to be like i'm a busy woman i can't be there for the lizard it's like she clearly planned a party with like all of her friends and other family members and you blew it off because of the lizard not thinking about the child like i want to just

see my kid and her friends and all that you know it's like now you're the one who's more concerned about the lizard because you're letting a lizard determine what when you see your daughter so now you're the asshole i'll tell you who the biggest asshole is here. The friend who texts the mom. Crazy. Could you imagine if I ever texted Polly being like, you need to apologize to John right now? Yeah. Are you fucking nuts? If you text with someone's parents or even someone significant other about serious things, I don't think it's that bizarre.

Well, yeah, we know you. You probably sex with with your friends moms because you call mommy and daddy that's being being received on twitter right now it's a rather normal thing well it's still it's stunning and i think all the people who are outing themselves are fucking weirdos people some people said they they store their friends in there as like mom too. Yeah, I don't do that. It's just. And actually that's like, if you have some sort, like I said, if you have someone who like raised you or something, kind of a different story, the rest of you guys,

you're all fucking weirdos. It's not your mom. You're the same people who say mom and dad in conversation without specifying my fuck you. No, I say that. I say that. Yeah, you better. I wouldn't even be friends with you if you did that. But yeah, that's crazy. Text texting someone else's mother no anything other than like pleasantries common

pleasantries like any regular texting with the significant other or the or friend parent of someone is nuts hell no am i the asshole for giving my coworker a fantasy novel for Secret Santa to try to broaden her horizon? For Secret Santa, I got Sarah, who put down a bunch of books that she wanted, as well as other things like socks, tea, and candy. I was a little disappointed, to be honest, because I really like to shop for people and give really cool gifts, and those were just blah things. When I looked up all the books to get her, I found out that they were all romance novels. I felt cringe buying her romance novels. So I looked at, so I looked at the common themes and found a really good fantasy novel to

buy her instead called war breaker by Brandon Sanderson. It was, it has romance in it too. I figure if she likes to read, then she'd be happy to broaden her horizons and branch out. I also got her some Baby Yoda socks to go with it because, hey, who doesn't like Baby Yoda and also some Bigelow tea that looked good? We did the exchange this morning, and she looked visibly confused when she opened hers. She changed her face to be surprised slash happy, but this really bothered me.

In the break room later, I heard her talking and complaining, saying she didn't get why someone got her these things. The other person said, quote, they probably were just upset they got a woman instead of a man, which I thought was rude. I'm a woman too. I'm just not a pumpkin spice latte and Hallmark woman. Then after I saw her, then after I saw her give the socks to someone else saying they could have them for their kid. I was honestly really bothered by this. I just put thought and effort into a gift. Am I the asshole for getting her to branch out of the humdrum romance novel genre and get the Baby Yoda socks? I thought everyone liked Baby Yoda. Edit for those trying to make this into

a pick me. First of all, don't be misogynistic second of all she wasn't talking about um yeah whatever this is something about the books so who's the asshole everyone again yep uh the the bigger asshole though huh as far as who the bigger asshole is i'm not like 51 to 49 here because i think there are both there's a compelling case for both sides okay i'm gonna make it for the gift buyer because the buyer is the bigger asshole yeah okay go ahead if someone tells you they want something just get them that that's a pretty fucking clear cut that's it and i i honestly do get because i i like to get, I like to put some thought into gifts. I try.

And, you know, I got from my brother this year, I got him a fucking jacket that he really wanted. I don't know. It doesn't feel, I don't get the pleasure, my selfish pleasure. I was going to say, boy, John's not getting satisfied out of other people's gifts. Yeah, right. There is a bit of a

dance to it. Yeah, I get a little bit of satisfaction out of my gift giving. I know he wants his jacket, so I just got him a jacket. Which, by the way, was in fucking... It's from London, and it was in pounds, and it was expensive in pounds. And then I checked my credit card statement

and I was like, you dirty dog. Yeah, expensive in pounds and it was expensive in pounds. And then I checked my credit card statement. I was like, you dirty dog. Yeah. Expensive in pounds means expensive in dollars. It made me go, that's a lot in pounds. Yeah. Yeah. That's that. So, uh, uh, you think that, okay.

So she's the bigger asshole for not just getting the list. Yeah. Someone gets, someone gets a list. He's fucking sure. A to make the other, the other just getting the list. Yeah, someone gets the list, he's fucking sure. A, to make the other side of the argument, I think it's weird to make a list for Secret Santa in the office. Yes, agreed. Everybody gets a bunch of shit, right?

Second of all, it's really weird to be upset about your gift at the Secret Santa at the office. Like, someone could give me a box of human shit. And I would be like, I would do the same thing.

Thanks guys. Thanks. I would be in the circle or whatever. I'd open it. I'd be like, it's, it's, it's,

it's a human turd. I close it. I'd be like, thank you. Thank you. Whoever it was. And I would step back out of the circle and let this dumb little dance continue. I don't give a fuck.

I, we used a fuck. I, we used to do, I did, I did four, four Christmases at Deloitte. I think it was. And so we would do an office secret Santa and it was just like 50 people passing bottles of booze back and forth.

Like that was fucking it. Everybody just got each other a bottle of whiskey, a bottle of wine, a bottle of vodka, whatever. And it was just like, do we, do we really even need to do this guys? What is the fucking point here but everyone just did the same thing like thank you to be upset at your office secret santa you're a real dickhead

but i would also then say to to put your own interests on someone else be like no no you have to get into romance uh fantasy novels because i'm into fantasy novels like fuck you and because think about the opposite if that chick who was into romance novels said you know what she's into fantasy books so i'll just get i bet she likes romance you clearly would have been disgusted by the books on her list right so and also you dropped dead the word the reason this person's the biggest asshole is they say the word cringe i can't i can't believe cringe that is like a thing that just we say that there is nothing more cringe than saying the word cringe well it also got bastardized because it is a good word it's just one that got so overused because there are certain times i never liked it it wasn't one for me but it's so it does describe like when someone plays live music for you in front of you and you want to like crawl in a hole and die because you don't know how to react that to me is like a cringe i i think

yeah i think like when you actually cringe it's a good descriptor when it's when he when it's used in a verb like he cringed. But yes. But like that's cringe. Oh, you're saying that's cringe. That's so cringe. Yeah. Okay. I'm with you on that. That's bullshit.

It's like I was watching the show Chef, the movie Chef the other day. Great movie. I never watched it. I've always heard really good things. And it just happened to be on my Netflix homepage. And I was like, fuck it. I'll put it on. The old Jon Favreau and Leguizamo.

And it's funny he's talking to his kid about uh he got he's a chef and he got a bad review and uh the kid just goes they're just haters and he's like yeah you know that's such a great word he's like we never had a word like that when i was a kid he's like we just had like jealous and that really doesn't capture it and it is cool to see like that was like you're right like jealous was the way you described a hater hater hater is a good one i feel like uh trump came along and did like to all the haters and losers and that kind of you know just killed it overplayed it but haters is the perfect encapsulates like you know when you're when you are hating but not for a valid reason it's it's a good one. So speaking of,

since John gets so much pleasure out of gift giving, breaking news for everybody on the staff here, we will be doing the first ever, I can't believe, I guess this is the first time we've ever had a team now, the first ever KFC Radio Secret Santa.

So how do we pick, can we do, how do we pick? Can we do? How do we pick? How do you do this? Do you put names in a hat and people just pick it? Yeah, there's actually apps

that you could use. I'll send a link around and everyone has just put their name in and then it'll email you who you got. It's not something we can do live.

Yeah, because it wouldn't be entertaining because you can't even reveal who it is, right? Okay. Right. So,

we will be picking our secret Santa, uh, members right now. Um, and then, uh, Tuesday for the final episode of 2021,

we will be giving our gifts. Who, who do you want to draw? Um, if you could, like, what would you pick? I want to draw? If you could, who would you pick? I want to draw

Nick. I'll tell you why I don't want to draw Nick. Because you can't, whatever you give him is not worthy. You know what i mean hey like thanks for all the incredible back-breaking work here's like a mug or

these just to be clear these aren't their gifts this is yeah yeah yeah yeah i mean i i i clearly want to get jackie and just torture her, mentally with something, you know, make fun of her face or her lips or, you know, whatever. Oh, I didn't know you were there, Jackie. Yeah,

no, let's, let's hope, uh, bro. I forgot about something. I tweeted last night before we go on to voicemails. Uh,

are we done with that? Like, cause there's really nothing there until, right. I tweeted this last night. I don't think you saw it because you probably didn't hear it. Oh, I can tell you you're wrong. Bro, have you had them?

No, but there's just no way. Just shut the fuck up. Dude, it's because gluten doesn't affect sugar and stuff. So it's not like sugar-free. It's just the cookie has more crunch. I don't like that. That's why people- You like a soft cookie, you buffoon?

Well, first of all, yes. Most people like soft cookies. No, you like soft chocolate chip cookies. An Oreo is not a chocolate chip cookie. You want a crunchy Oreo. I soak Oreos. Soft Oreos are stale Oreo. What are we talking about?

I soak Oreos in milk. That's different. You can soak these in milk. Yeah, but I'm saying that's the point when you do that is that it becomes less crunchy it's just better it's just a better cook it is i look it's i mean you're just wrong all the time on these five we'll do a taste it we'll do a live taste test of this okay but on the board first of all i know you're wrong because this is going to be a single stuff so that's just like you know you also think that's better than double the single stuffs are

better right so like you're you're double wrong on this whole thing you're double stuff wrong so it's like you know this is gonna be a fail no matter what all right all right we'll see we'll see these would be haters said when i fucking fucking talking about spicy pbjs but haters had me guess what we love spicy pbj this is different you're coming at the king right now oreos are not going to be topped by some gluten-free shit that that has to jump through some hoops to recreate what is already greatness from Nabisco. You fucking moron. Video voicemails today are brought to you by Movement. It's the holiday season.

We're getting down to it. It's what, December 16th? You got less than 10 days to give your gifts. That means you got to get your orders in right now. And there is no better and easier way to take care of that wishlist for your loved ones than getting some movement watches or the shades or the blue light filtering glasses. You can do it all. You can buy for style. You can buy for utility. Movement's got you covered every which way. And they're bringing the sleekest, most quality gifts to your stockings, to under the tree.

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Love those. They've got the, those like John Lennon ones that do the flip up. And of course, just get the blue light filtering glasses. Cause right now I swear to God, I'm looking at the ring light and the computer screen. And my eyes are like bloodshot just doing the zoom.

I'm not made for zoom anymore, dude. I can't, my eyes are like, I don't know if you can see it, but I'm like, they've been stinging me the whole time. Maybe it's because I'm looking at your ugly mug, but it's just, I could use all the filtering. I need a Feidelberg filtering glasses.

Like I put them on and it just blurs you out. I need them too. MVMT.com slash KFC. Join the movement. First voicemail. What do we got? Nicky. KFC fights. Nick, Jackie voicemail. What do we got? Nicky. KFC fights,

Nick, Jackie, Pabst, Zach, a shout out, super producer, BC miss him. Um,

anyways, earlier I was, uh, looking up a few videos and, came across a news article. Weird enough that, uh, the guys that did Girls Do Porn

got arrested for sex trafficking. Oh, yeah. One of them pled guilty to a couple counts and got, like, 20 years. So the question is, KFC, I know that you loved that shit in the past, of course. Does that make us bad people?

I don't know. First of all, let's talk about this. Where is this man? In like the fields of England or something? As he trolls? I think there was like a castle in the background over there. So I don't know what's up with that. Second of all,

you're not a bad person for watching girls do porn when you had no idea. The question is, if I go back and watch now, am I a bad person for watching girls do porn when you had no idea. The question is, if I go back and watch now, am I a bad person? Uh, yeah. Are you sure? I don't think... Can we maybe

argue that somehow? Can we... Is there some wiggle room on that, John? I think if you're getting around that knowledge we gotta have a mirror talk okay but wait a minute let's um a mirror talk i like we need to like hammer home like mirror talk tm little trademark on that have a mirror talk well i i have since watched those after that knowledge but not like frequently or regularly or seeking them out but like if it pops up and it's

the girl that I know from the past I've done it but and it's also like I don't remember in the moment like it's not like I'm like oh there's girls do porn that was against their will I'm gonna watch it anyway it's kind of like I forget and you're watching you're watching that shit like people who fucking do coke are still doing

coke like fennel's probably not in every bag this was the one girl who liked it I'm sure all of them were on sex people who fucking do coke are still doing coke. Fentanyl's not applied in every bag. This was the one girl who liked it. I'm sure all of them were on sex traffic. To be clear, it was like that they the uploading was the against consent part. They consented

to the sex. It's not like you're watching a girl be... I have no idea about these people. Just knowing the videos, it looks like they are engaged in consensual sex. Just, I mean, they're both,

it's heinous either way, but it's very different if like the sex you're watching is, is violating somebody. Right. Kind of like, I mean, I'm not going to victim blame, but what'd you think they were going to put in their personal collection?

How, how does that, how is it still up on the internet? I, I don think it's on like pornhub like the the the uh you got to get it on like the low now yeah so where are you finding this kevin um actually now that i say that i'm like where am i finding it is it on pornhub because i don't really go anywhere other than the pornhub and i feel like I've seen it. Gee, girls do porn. Girls do porn does not bring up anything. Neither does GDP.

But I feel like, oh, maybe I'm thinking of Casting Couch that I've watched recently. Okay, that's better. We can do that. We can work with that. Yeah. Let's stick with that. Because I was about, I got myself mixed up

because when I said, where did they send it? What do you think they were going to do? Put it in their personal collection. I was thinking, oh, no, they said that they send it to the producers for $1,000 to $5,000 a day. That's casting cash. So I'm in the clear, baby. I ain't watching no sex trafficking porn in here. Yeah, what's his caller's name?

You pervert. Yeah, you little sick fuck. You, you are an accomplice. You are a part of the problem and you should go to jail as well. Yeah. I don't understand how you guys ever got into that stuff anyway. I mean, I guess that's the amateur thing. I don't know.

Girls do porn? Huh? Girls do porn? Yeah. I don't care about that. We were very much on the same page on this. We like to talk in the beginning. Talk in the beginning okay okay the sex is always terrible i mean like i don't need to watch a fucking sophomore try to have sex on a holiday and no i've had i've done

that i've lived it's not it doesn't what yeah it's not good but the talk is always the best part that's why you know i don't even need the rest of it just give me interview porn i just want to watch uh you know, what's your strengths and weaknesses. I want to see a girl and be like, well, I care too much. I try too hard. Oh, do you? Let's see. Next up.

You're born in Tonya. I've got another question for y'all. So I work on an inpatient psychiatric unit for kids, which according to y'all makes me a yeah, but don't need to say that out loud. Don't need that kind of soundbite on the internet you know um anyway a lot of these kids got a lot of behavior issues punching cops punching their moms they just just don't give a fuck at all um so my first day ever uh this seven-year-old child said to me what the fuck mr antonio you have so much cum in your ass you can't even sit straight i gasped i started laughing i just didn't know what to do it was like do i talk about for bridge now don't worry a seven-year-old just told me i'm going blind from too much cum in my butt like like how do you come back from that

um so my question is what's the wildest thing y'all have ever heard and like from the most unlikely source i never thought that would have happened ever in my entire life. Side note, I think all of us chicken heads would love to see John take Kevin shopping at the next subscriber mark, whatever y'all decide it is. I think that'd be fantastic comment. Side note, side note. Shout out KFC. You're the man. Fuck the haters.

All right. See y'all in Boston. Viva. Love this guy. Love it. Wait, what does it make him? I don't, I'm trying to, that was like, we got a lot to tackle here. We'll start with that.

Well, I think cause he works with kids in a school. Oh yeah. We've said that like guys who are like, uh, but we've said more like babysitters, coaches and stuff. Trouble with kids. That's different. It's also, I mean, it sounds like he's almost like a borderline, like doctor working in a psychiatric unit or somethingouble kids, that's different. It sounds like he's almost like a borderline doctor working in a psychiatric

unit or something. That's different. If you're a fucking pediatrician, you're not a pedophile. You're allowed to do a medical practice to help save children. You're not a fucking pedophile. If you teach five to seven-year-olds art

at the local YMCA, you got a problem. You got a problem. If you teach five to seven-year-olds art at the local YMCA, you got a problem. You got a problem. If you're training kids in athletics and you have no connection to them, you got a problem. Second of all, how cool is it to be able to match your hair to your hat? That's dope. Like that guy, he should rock.

I hope he rocks the maroon sad boy corduroy. I hope he has a couple different colors. Sometimes it's green. Sometimes it's the red. Matching your dreads to your sad boy hat. And he has the subtitles hoodie. Honestly, probably one of the three people who bought it, but it's a good sweatshirt. Those are underappreciated.

Those are good hoodies. Super underappreciated. So, that's unbelievable. If a kid told me you have so much cum in your you have too much cum it was it you have so much cum in your ass you can't see straight you're going uh yeah yeah yeah so yeah he's like i'm going blind there's too much cum in my butt says this seven-year-old um that's pretty preposterous that's that's gonna be a tough one to beat i i did the at one point in my life i

probably would have an answer for this because i i worked with despite what we say as a younger kid i worked with a lot of kids as a younger kid i did a lot of hot i like taught i counseled a lot of hockey camps i how old were you like 16 to 18 yeah okay i did that too i once uh i once like tutored is that what you call it i guess private lessons with a kid playing basketball so if the easiest money i ever made i just like did my basketball like uh like practice drills with him i was like do do your layups do your lane slides do do this and the parents were paying like a hundred dollars an hour or something. That's fine. As long as you're like a teenager yourself. Yeah.

But the, it like, and like the kids definitely used to say, wow, shit. And I, I would just light them up though. Like,

like that's a good thing about doing it. I like not in a setting such as Antonio's in, like I'd be at hockey camp. They'd be like, they'd be having some fights. Fuck you. I'm like, all right,

let's go outside. We're playing dodgeball now. Just fucking light them up. I would abuse children. What would you do if a seven-year-old told you you have so much cum in your ass, you can't see straight? I'd hit them. I'd hit them.

I hit kids all the time. I'd make it look like an accident, but I hit kids all the fucking time. No, you got to come to them. I'd shoot the puck. I'm like, oh, shit. Well, oh, never mind. Hit him in the leg. Look, my bad.

No, you got to be like, you know, like, well, that's why your mom's blind or something like that. You got to come over the top and hit him with his own little joke about. No, man, we talked about this recently i go physical pretty quick i i had the nerd roommate who i couldn't hang with oh john's gonna hit me yes i am i will i i also i do think i would laugh like he does though like before i do anything and get mad or try to you know oh yeah i'd be like oh oh oh yeah like damn dude you went yeah that's it's almost like I was canceling little kids. If it was funny, I laughed. If it was annoying, you were in big trouble.

You're a big trouble. It's time to go play dodgeball, and you're getting fucking bundied. Let's see. What's the craziest thing you've heard from the most unlikely source? I mean. I mean, that girl calling you daddy back in like 2011 is crazy that's way up there on the list that is a true trailblazer i i think it's more reasonable to think that she is a time traveler like i think that girl just went back back in time a decade. Came from 2021 to go to like 2012

and bring out the daddy term. I'm going to try something real quick. Yeah. This is cool. It's a Marty McFly shit when he plays Johnny B. Goode and he's like, you guys aren't ready for this. But your kids,

your kids are going to love it. Give it a few years and there's going to be this blonde chick. You're going to change the world, man. You'll see. You'll see. That's very funny, the Johnny Beacon reference. My kids have never said anything like that. My kids will call me fat all the time.

Like, Daddy, you've got a big butt. You've got a big belly, Daddy. Or sometimes I'll, I'll say it to them. Like I put on a shirt the other day that was like a large that had shrunk a little bit. I was like, and I was like, Oh, I am fat. And they're like, what, what, like what's fat? And I'm like, you know, cause it's, you know, it's like, they know what fat means, but when you're really breaking it down, I'm like, it means that like my body is bigger than I would like it to be kids. It's a weird thing to actually describe. Uh, but they've never asked me any Shay, Shay, I'm starting a new series on Tik TOK and reels. I've only posted one of them,

but I've recorded a bunch of preposterous questions that Shay asked me. The first one I posted was why do bears breathe slowly? I have the one about the trees recorded. Like what do I get? Honestly, like I breathe really slowly. Well, that's what I said. I was like, oh, everything, the bigger you get, the slower you breathe. You know, I have the why, like why would I do it? Trees fall on me.

I have the tree one. I have, oh, I have a whole conversation. Did I it if trees fall on me I have the tree one I have oh I have a whole did I ever tell you about the Thor conversation no I have like a 12 minute conversation recorded on my phone

I hope I had to delete a bunch of shit to make space where she asked me like she just goes like what does what does Thor's hammer do

and I was like what you know and then she's like like what does what does thor's hammer do and i was like what you know and then she's like yeah i'm like you know uh it's magical or powerful and she's asking me like is thor a good guy or oh i think she said she was worried that thor was gonna hurt us and i was like thor only hurts the bad guys and she was like how would he know if we were good guys or bad guys? I was like, I don't know, man. Through your actions. Yeah.

I was like, make sure you're on your best behavior around Thor. Yeah, put the bloody firstborn. Fuck your shit up, Shay. Put the bloody firstborn on the door. Tell her that. So they ask me dumb things and weird things, but they've never like said anything inappropriate i don't think yeah this is like i i don't this is this is not what i have the

i bet you it's something uh probably for you in bed like daddy i feel like you've heard some weird shit in in bed no i mean nothing nothing that comes to a 2011 daddy almost like uh like in seinfeld like you know these are the panties your mother laid out for you. Any weird, dirty talk. I mean, I guess if you want to just be literal about it, it's not funny. You know, somebody tells you

they, like, I had a girl like the first time we hooked up say, I love you. I was like, that was fucking weird. I've dropped that before. You dropped that? I dropped it, not the first time. Have you received it or dropped it? Dropped it. Like, that was fucking weird. I've dropped that before. You dropped that? I dropped it. Not the first time. Have you received it or dropped it? Dropped it. Like, I fucking love you.

But that's like, that's because you were just like a desperate dude trying to get laid. No, no, no. In the throes of passion. Oh, that's like, she like just put a finger in your ass. You're like, I love you. No, we're like having sex. Like, I love you. They were like, all right.

It was, it was not reciprocated. No, yeah, no, but it was, but it was, it was rejected. It was rejected so firmly that it was actually,

it was like, nice. It was like, it was like, yeah, okay. All right. Word.

Oh, I feel like you got to just like, you hear that. You just pretend you're asleep or something like that. No, we were having sex. Yeah. No,

even then you just be like, what? I'm sorry. I was blacked out for a second. You don't even know me well enough to know about narcolepsy. How could you love me? Yeah, so... Probably something like... It's probably a Polly comment that I just can't even think of right now. Yeah.

Oh, yeah. I mean, that's Polly telling you you can kill yourself if you want. Yeah, that was one. Yeah, that's a pretty good one. Well, you don't have to, like, one well you don't have to like live if you don't want to uh nick you got anything more important i was just thinking like from weird sources like when it was the first interview i was on with you guys was cam from modern family telling us that goat cheese just smells like goat cum yeah that was a big one that was yeah yeah i

guess like really got passionate about like learning things is interesting. Learning that people wipe standing up. Learning, um... There's got to be some weird shit that's like blown your mind on the internet. But that's a good one. What's the most ridiculous thing you've ever heard? Either insult-wise or just the most absurd words

coming out of the most absurd source, who you got tweet at us at KC radio posts on our Instagram. We'll get them out there. Also, we are running the jacked up challenge. Did you see the jacked up challenge? Yeah.

Yeah. So if you go to Instagram and you're doing reels and stories, you can use the pillow face filter. You can search it and it makes, it should just be renamed the Jackie Nichols filter because it makes your face look exactly like hers. It's a dead ringer for exactly how Jackie looks in real life. And if you do a good impression of jacked up, you will get posted on the Instagram. And if you, and we'll declare a winner who gets like a free hoodie along with some jacked up stickers.

So check out the KFC radio Instagram for that. I have an impromptu last minute. Am I the asshole before we do our last voicemail? You're at work. You knock over a big cup of coffee. It goes everywhere. But the desk you're sitting at is kind of like a fold out beer pong table that you're sharing with another person. And there's multiple cups on the desk. Now, the one that you knocked over this person knocked it over and also knocked over their cup but it was limited space because the second person sitting there also had like three

other coffees that they were drinking throughout the day on their side so there was limited space who i don't think people who drink coffee throw away their coffees i don't get that and why don't why do they have like three along the day? Like in general, like just finish that one, then get another one. I get it. Once it gets cold or whatever,

you don't want it anymore, but throw it out, throw it up, get rid of it. They're just drinking three or four cups with three or four other cups right next to it. It makes no sense. But who's the,

so who's the bigger asshole, the guy who lets them accumulate because he's not throwing them out or the klutz with the lips who's just like a fucking tornado i'm gonna say the guy lets him accumulate you're thinking that's he's the number one asshole i said it's 75 25 the spiller because the spiller is the she pulled the trigger you know what i mean and and the cup she knocked over was hers so she can claim that there was less space. That is true. But at the end of the day, it's her cup and her actions. It's got to be the majority of the blame. I don't know. I think I think what we got here is a full on serial defense because what the other person was doing is so preposterous that. Well, the cups are preposterousous it's also like kind of mostly

his desk she she goes there during interviews when we're podcasting but then when we're not she goes to like the your seat so she's kind of coming up on his desk that's like his desk and he's like i got plenty of room when i'm here so i do what i want with my cups and then you come in like a bull in a china shop and knock everything over with your big lips. Is she just clearly not paying attention right now? I can't tell. I don't know. She

usually is like halfway asleep while we do the podcast. I said 75-25. It's her fault. Pabst has the 25% blame. I think that is – I'm going 50-50. We got to put our foot down somewhere to get down with these coffee people.

Throw away your coffee cups. Also, I mean, what is it going to take? Maybe the new year. We need some sort of natural breaking point to get out of this KFC radio production slump. These kids have been a wreck for like two and a half weeks now. Yeah. Mistakes and spills and just like, holy cow, what is like one after the next? And I'm thinking legit.

Well, we got to do the triathlon with Jackie and Pabst. But I think afterwards we need to let them like rough and rowdy or do sock and boppers or something. They've been throwing each other under the bus tost, but I think afterwards we need to let them like rough and rowdy or do sock and boppers or something. They've been throwing each other under the bus to the point that I think they got to get out some frustration. So there might just need to be like a full blown. Jesus Christ, John.

Yeah. Christ on the cross. What? You know what people are going to be thinking? That was doing snuff. Well, all right. Last voicemail of the day is brought to you by that's gonna be funny when i go get a covid test like why is your nose all brown last voicemail of the day is brought to you by throwback new ammy a little new amsterdam vodka

back in the mix uh you know new amsterdam they were they've been riding with us forever. And what better time of year to get some New Amsterdam vodka? Like I said, whether you're doing an office secret Santa or a friend Yankee swap or whatever it may be, you never you're always like, oh, the limit's like fifty dollars and I don't know what they really like. And if I get this, will they like that? Or will that be offensive or whatever? Bingo, bango, get them some new Amsterdam vodka.

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You can put it in the stocking. You can wrap on it. You can shoot it. You can use it for your holiday cocktails. You can put it in the stocking. You can wrap the box. I mean, whether you're making a Christmas cocktail or you're doing a New Amsterdam mule or a New Amsterdam martini, or like I said, you're just doing it straight. Get that straight vodka like Feidelberg loves to do. Do some screwdrivers, your classic vodka drinks. Either way, you can't go wrong. It's New Amsterdam vodka, the official vodka of Barstool Sports. You can get it in stores now and enjoy yourself responsibly.

Last one. Somebody, a little PSA for the people out there. I got a DM being like, I got a great Am I the Asshole story, but it's too long for a voicemail, but I'd love to do Am I the Asshole story, but it's too long for a voicemail. But I'd love to do it. Well, it's too long for a voicemail. It's not that good of a story. We're not going to do it.

So you either trim it down or it doesn't get done. Because even your best story, you can trim it down to 30 seconds. And then if it's that good, we'll call you back. We'll follow up. We've done it with Gay Joe and the guys. You can make it. You can get it there. Trust me. I do it every day for one minute, man. we'll call you back we'll follow up we've done it with gay joe and the guys you know you you can make it you can get it there trust me i do it every day for one minute man it's not easy when you got a good one but you got to do it what's up kfc and crew uh i think this quick it's late

i want to go to bed but my neighbors installed a new porch light and it is aggressively bright and that's I got weird lighting here so I can show you how bright this fucking thing is so I went over and talked to him and asked them about putting a different sized bulb in it yeah there you go already started or perhaps putting something over it. Look at this. That is the shadow on the other side of my living room. I can actually do shadow puppet shows

in my living room now. That's good. That's a bonus. Turn the light back on. So am I the asshole if I shoot this thing out with a pellet gun since they that is, that is pretty fucking bright. Um,

I would say like, even as bad as that is, I'm still leaning towards the side of don't do anything. I wouldn't even go there and knock. Yeah. Well, that's cause I'm me, but that's an, that's an offensive play. That's, that's, they've crossed the line. No doubt. Yeah. I wonder if there's a way to either like, but that's an, that's an offensive way. That's that's, they've crossed the line. No doubt. Yeah. I wonder if there's a way to either like, I mean, get, asking someone to get a lesser wattage bulb is a pretty specific thing. Maybe be like, can you turn it? So it's facing a different way or.

I think if you, if you can, you know, I guess it depends on how close you are with your neighbor. If there's a chance that you're going to talk and meet and you see each other in the morning when you go to your car or your kids are at games or something, and you can kind of work it into conversation and maybe jokingly bring it up. Not jokingly, but just casually versus like, I think it's tough to go over there and be like, or leave a note being like, change your goddamn light bulbs. But that's, you know, actually like just keep your blinds, your shades closed because what do you need to see out there? It's clearly like, just like your neighbor's porch or some shit,

your neighbor's garage with a big light. Yeah. I mean, like you like to go outside, you like to see outside. So I guess it doesn't matter at night. I had a past roommate who some of you may know who's a bit of a lunatic and he once left a note for my other neighbors that was the most outrageous note it was like you fucking poor scumbag just like it was it was like why don't you go off and take what because they always listen to music they have parties they listen to music. They'd have parties.

They'd listen to music all night. It's like, if you want a fucking New York experience, why don't you make some money, take Molly, go to a club like a fucking adult. It was aggressive. Like, he would kill you. And he just slid it under their door. I think that note culture is, you know, you can write.

So that was an asshole note. But if somebody wrote like, you know, dear John, the light in your backyard is really bothering me. Could you please turn it down? You'll get the same rage. But the note, just the format of the note, the medium makes people go nuts. Yeah. Whether it was the parking wars I was in or, or any, any neighborly bullshit, it makes you go crazy. And so it's like, it immediately becomes a fight. No matter how polite you might be or how in the right you might be.

If you're the note writer, I feel like you kind of become the asshole. Cause it's like the most passive aggressive Karen like behavior. It's also sometimes like, I don't really know you, or I don't want to confront you face to face. So I'm just going to leave this, but it does. If I hear I got a note from my neighbor, I'm like, I want to fucking kill them.

You've had that with like your car. I don't, I don't get that range. I'm like, yeah, he probably read probably read but he would if someone's right then fine they've never been right they've been super wrong yeah they've either been parking in front of my house that almost blocked me to exit my driveway or here telling me that you know you can only park here if you live here and i was like motherfucker i live here so fuck off if you're right i would I was like, motherfucker, I live here. So fuck off. If you're right, I would probably be like, okay, fine. But I'd be mad about the note. Oh, fuck. Do you think you also

I recommend shooting out? They're also going to know it's you. So be ready for it. Yeah, that's the problem. You know, you need to like sneakily like true through their wires. Being shooting it out of the pellet gun. I did the dog walk toy draft.

You can go watch it this now it's out this week. Dave, I had the number one overall pick. I did Nintendo 64. Dave White Sox, Dave with his, the second pick started out being like, you got,

when you're talking toys, you got to get some sort of gun in the mix and I'm sitting there nodding my head thinking he's going to go with a nerf gun. He's like, and the best one that everybody wanted when they were a kid. And I'm thinking like, it's either going to be the ball Zuka or the bow and arrow. Our ball Zuka is called ball Zuka.

I also was going to love a Zuka. Well, the nerf one was, it was the ballzooka was actually more of a Tommy gun, Gatling gun. You could put a circle of 10 balls in and you pump it and it spins, so there's a new ball every time. That's the ballzooka.

I'm saying that's a specific toy is what I mean. It's not like you've been saying bazooka wrong the whole time. Right. Right. Yeah. I got you. And then he's like, it's every kid's like number one thing under the tree, the BB gun.

And I understand like I'm a city kid. So BB guns were not super popular by me. But he acted like it was like the number one gift that has ever been given. Where do you fall on that? I had one friend. I don't think I ever asked for a BB gun. I mean, I may have. It might have come up a time or two.

It wasn't something I pined for and brought up constantly around Christmas. I may have asked for it a time or two. I had one friend with a BB gun. He was the white trash friend. And that was... i probably shot it five times that was i don't think i've ever shot one shot paintball guns it's not that fun i've he i i've had paintball guns i would put paintball gun above bb gun me too me too because i think

he was like yeah we used to shoot each other i was like i really really would not enjoy getting shot by a bb gun i don't think that's like fun. Yeah, no, I shot cans. I never shot. Right. He was like, yeah, we'd shoot each other like in the ass and the legs. And I was like, I'm all set on that, man. That sounds really painful and probably dangerous. And of course, then he's like, oh, you're a pussy liberal cock faggot.

You know, but I'm like, I just don't think that that was that like good of a toy, man. It wasn't at the top of many people's list. Then, you know, all these fucking, you know, to quote Big Booty Daddy from Rough and Roundy, all these fucking inbred idiots were like, I got BB guns and slingshots and knives and sticks. I was like, okay, Tom Sawyer. Who are you? Fucking Davy Crockett. I was out with electricity and running water with a house, you fucking weirdos.

What cartoon was it with the kid with the coonskin hat? I don't know the cartoon. I'm thinking of the kid in The Christmas Story. Oh, maybe that's what I'm thinking. No, I think it's a cartoon, but maybe I'm kind of complaining to two. Yeah, one of those kids. You had a pan on his head. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. So I'm thinking. No, I think it's a cartoon, but maybe I'm kind of conflating the two. You had a pan on his head. Oh, yeah, so I'm blending those two.

But yeah, you're white trash garbage. Right. He also, so the highlights of the draft, Carl took Tamagotchi's thoughts. Crazy. I had a Tamagotchi. Thoughts? Crazy. Crazy.

I had a Tamagotchi. I never had one, but it's like. I had one, Paul. I had one for like one summer. And like, like, didn't, like, it was one of those things, like, I had it and it died. And that was it. I was like, oh, my God. You just like experienced the, the, you were in on the craze.

And then. Yeah. It was not a, I was not like a Tamagotchi dad, but I feel like that was for girls and weirdos to me. A Tamagotchi? Yeah. It was, I don't know anyone. No one in my life was like a big Tamagotchi person. It was his first pick that was non-video games.

He went with Tamagotchi. He also went with laser tag, which never worked. So the problem here, I almost think I wanted to do another top five of toys that I got so excited for that just fucking sucked. His laser tag never worked. The Fisher Price, what is on your nose? The

Fisher Price 3-in-1. Do you ever have that? The pool, air hockey, ping pong table? Never had it. Had friends who had it. Never worked. Never worked. And it was like this big. Also, Mousetrap, the board game, never really set that up and had it like actually work to perfection.

I had one friend who was like the Mousetrap friend. He'd rip it. I actually think they didn't break. I think their family didn't break it down. Because it was such a pain it has to put away. I think they just kept, if I'm their family didn't break it down because it was such a pain. It has to put away. I think they just kept, if I'm remembering correctly, they just kept it like up.

And it was like, it's not like they had a game room. It wasn't that big a house. It was just for the one spot where mouse on the kitchen table, mousetrap was always just sitting there. Just tough where it's like, those it's a cool toy that I remember. Talk boy,

another one talk boys. That would be like my top five of bad toys that seemed cool but never really worked out all that well. And the other crazy thing to come out of this, we had to veto White Sox Dave's pick of an iPod. Do you believe an iPod is a toy, John? Toy? No.

Of course not. No, but I'm not as anti it as it seems the rest of you are. What about it makes it a toy? I don't know. You don't play it? It's not in the toy section? It's not designed for kids? It did have Brick Breaker.

But that's like an extra that was thrown in. You don't play with your iPod. no you're right you're right and he said well what about um what about the game systems that we drafted everyone was limited to one video game console and it's because you play games on on your like the the entire purpose of a video game console is to play a game that mostly children engage with yeah i'm not i i don't think it does ludicrous and guess but i stand by the supreme court's ruling where this is a slippery slope argument where if you rule in ipods well then you're ruling in movies because now you're just now you're opening the door to all forms i said he was like it's a form of entertainment it's's like, okay, yeah. Is my DVD, a DVD player going to be a toy?

Yeah. Is my, you know, is my, I remember joking around and I was like, is my car a toy? Is my, is your TV a toy?

These are gifts. Yeah. As a present. Sure. Now, the only thing he did say, he was like, what about my $5,000 gaming PC that I play video games on?

But I, to that, I would argue that if you're talking about that level of shit you're almost like a professional gamer we're not talking about equipment for like your job where it's not you're not playing a game anymore but that would have been the one argument he should have gone with the other things he was throwing around where it was he was arguing

against himself it was insane yeah that's that's it was like dave i'm just gonna let you talk and make the argument for me. You idiot. I'm the lib cuck who he said, he said something like, I guarantee Kevin's going to be a pussy that will only let his kids use weapons when they're age appropriate. And I was kind of like, yeah, I probably will. I probably will wait for that. Yeah. My parents still don't let me play with weapons.

So I don't let me play with weapons so i don't know uh who won it looks like um number five is gonna win so um check out the uh the dog walk draft now uh go to dog walk barstool um did we do the last question we did right yeah all right let's get into our interviews two zoom interviews two very um very interesting interviews from two guys who are very eloquent and well spoken and well thought out we're going to start with jimmy car his second appearance he's been inducted into the Million Views Club for Answer the Internet. One of the few guys whose episodes made it over a milli who is he's up there with Joel McHale and and Ken Jeong and Josh, the guys who just fucking clown us. And specifically you, he gives it to you. It's I don't know what it is about my face but i'm happy i have it because

that guy you are that guy they just know it's your face and i think the way we start the interviews it's like all right there's the straight man there's the funny man and i'm gonna make fun of the funny man and i'm gonna go hard on it so wear it as a badge of honor john it's brought to you by roman uh jimmy's book is um all life's lessons, and he wanted to impart this wisdom to his son. And I might add a little addendum for him, a little epilogue, if you will, saying make sure you get some Roman swipes, kid. Can you imagine? I never thought about it. Once you are of age and a young man has turned into an adult and you're allowed to have sex.

Having a Roman swipe would be like invaluable. Yeah. Although I would recommend, you know, you don't want to get too reliant upon them. But man, so much of the nerves of when you're a young dude having sex about busting too early. She's like, well, now they make something to help. Stop it. What are you doing? You're licking that. You kenny g in it over here what i was can you do what that mouth do he doesn't

i thought kenny powers but he said that no um yes kenny g does that fucking tongue man the fact that kenny g gets overshadowed in that episode is by, by Nancy is not whatever age you are young, old in between alleviating the fear of being a one minute man, being that guy who does a little premature EJAC. It's it can ease all your fears and get rid of all your anxiety. So go to get Roman.com slash KFC. Get the swipes for just five bucks when you sign up for a monthly plan.

Five dollars, you get a whole package where every time you wipe them on your dick, you get desensitized to the point that you're not going to bust early, but you still can feel it and enjoy it. It's the perfect compromise to make sure that you have some good sex and leave your partner satisfied. It's the perfect compromise to make sure that you have some good sex and leave your partner

satisfied. It's gethomeandgo.com slash KFC. Oh, hello. Jimmy! What's up, bud? How you doing? I look fucking terrible, but yeah, you know, good. Nobody looks good on Zoom, man. Nobody. It's the worst thing that's ever happened to like you, man.

He said looking fantastic. Yeah, right. stop but go on so are we on is this exclusive we just talk about kfc and our experiences in the restaurants what do we do god i've said it a thousand times it's the worst named podcast in the history of the world it's my initials i just threw it out there like we started it 10 years ago before podcasts before kfc was a thing well blame my parents i don't know what they were fucking thinking naming a kid you know kfc existed back when i was born too and they still you had you must have there must have been a lovely stage early on where you thought wow they've got merch with my initials

fantastic well you know what it's a real testament to just how toxic of a person I must be that they have never even come close to approaching us about an advertisement deal. Not even once. No, but they are in litigation with you over branding rights. God love you. I feel like we've already started. Let's just jump right in. Yeah, let's just do it. We have to extend you congratulations because you are now a member of one of the most exclusive clubs on the internet. I don't know if you remember last time we did this, you did our YouTube show called Answer the Internet where you answer all sorts of stupid questions.

Yeah. Yeah, you are, I think, one of like eight people to be in the million views club. You cracked a million views. So I know that's got to be like the most, you know, prestigious moment of your career, right? Well, listen, I'll tell you about, it's really, I wrote a book called Before and Laughter,

and it's really about the turning points in my life. And that was really one of the big, I just, I remember doing the podcast. I barely remember who you are. I mean, no, of course I don't remember that. Frankly, frankly, one of the more forgettable things that a person could ever do. It's answering truly the dumbest questions that you've ever been answered. Here's the thing. I've forgotten what we're talking about now. Yep. I feel you. Yeah. Um, but no, that's, that's kind of great i mean it's weird how i mean you did this what 10 years ago you started this so it's weird how you kind of you you got in there

early on the podcast it's huge and i think people just love it like that thing of like it's just listening to good conversation it's just fun and good conversation. And this there's got to be variety. There's something that happens. You know, we are, we're in a position where we can say whatever we want for the most part, because we don't have anything to lose, but we've, we've just seen that like when celebrities and actors and comedians and people like yourselves get in the room with a podcast, they kind of just seem to forget what they're doing. And they just start to talk freely.

And it's awesome. I love it. But there is a weird thing here where we have a thing here, the Daily Mail, which is pretty big globally, I think. Oh, yeah. All they're doing now is listening to podcasts and taking little tidbits of the conversation and going, that's a new story. You would never say it in an interview. But somehow on a podcast, you feel like, sure, I'll talk about stuff. And like in an interview, you'd be very guarded and going, I actually don't discuss my private life, but it's just

a friendly conversation. It's kind of, it's, it's interesting, the access that it gives people to, you know, if they're vaguely interested in comedy or whatever, they can really get behind the curtain now and see, you know, inside baseball. We've started to get a lot of, you know, like publicists will reach out first and be like, OK, he or she will do it. But you can't talk about this. You can't talk about that. And make sure you say this and frame this like that. And it's like, it's not how we do it. This is not. No, no, we're not agreeing to that because whatever happens is whatever happens. So are you saying that you didn't get the... Because also, I know this is on Zoom, but I feel like you're making eye contact with me.

I'm looking right at... You know what I'm actually looking at? Your teeth. You got great teeth, brother. Look at those things. Those are amazing. Well, it's because I'm British and it's your expectation has been exceeded. Yeah, big time.

You're expecting me to have like one functional tooth that I could open a can with. I got like a grill put in there. Sorry, go ahead. No, no. I was, I was going to discuss your, your, your looks is, I mean, you're, you've clearly gone with the um uh a trailer trash vibe jimmy this beard is professionally trimmed i'll have you know oh god it's true what can i ask what their profession is it was professionally trimmed by a mechanic in the auto shop. Yeah, whereas you've gone for you've gone for sort of a

made over Josh Homme is the look, isn't it? It looks like it's Josh who? Josh Homme, you know, Queens of the Stone Age? No, I don't know them. Dan would be very upset about this, but I'm not a big Queens of the Stone Age guy. What?

I get I look like a lot of people. I think this is my first time. Not you. Christ. Not you. You look like someone's drawn a face on a thumb. Oh, Kevin looks like this guy. Yeah. You know what? Can you see that, John?

I can see that a little bit yeah you look like less angry josh homie is what you look like okay all right you listen if you're telling me i look like the hell of an actor who's guess what he's more angry yeah that yeah the less angry that's not true but if you're gonna tell me i look like one of the front men of a of an awesome rock band yeah i mean i man. I'm liking the Amois in the background. There's not a lot of that going on in podcasts. This is interesting. Jimmy, I'm on vacation right now.

I'm in a rental house. This, I took time. I was like, we can't miss the great Jimmy Carr. Had to take time out of the day. There's a baby within earshot right now, so he's going to learn a lot. That's where this is. I have a very non-decorated room because it's a rental house. Sorry, you

have a child now. No, no, no. Oh my God. He is the child. I thought social services had let us all down. I've never even had sex. It would be impossible to have a child.

Well, I've had a lot of sex, but it's not possible to get someone pregnant the way I do it. You know, if your mother's comfortable discussing it, just, you know, fine. This is why you're in the Million Views Club. This is why, Jimmy. Okay. What are we talking about today? What's going on with you guys what's uh what's no what i what i was interested in and i'm wondering if it's more of um if it's serious or if it's more of a joke um you said that one of the reasons you

wrote this book was because you want to be able to give advice to your son and you're afraid you're going to be too old to really do it when he's of age is that is that real no that's a real thing i think i'm an older dad although i pointed that out to my friend jim jeffries i said look i'm an older dad i'm having to kind of you know work out just to keep up with this kid and then jim went you're not an old dad what you need to you're just in the wrong. You need to move to LA where you're a young dad. How old are you? I'm like 49. And how old is your kid? Two.

It's a little bit older, but yeah, I mean, you know, nevermind. You're, you're, you're old. You were all ready to go. Hey, you're not an old dad. I absolutely was. You actually bloody are. Well, you know what? It's because you look great.

So take that as the compliment. Thank you very much. This is, there's a homoerotic. I can't quit you undertone to this podcast today. Welcome to the Brokeback Mountain special. We all really like each other. No, there is something on that. I wrote this book kind of before and after. It started off as a biography just to take that sweet, sweet publishing dollar for the celebrity biography. Because, you know, I'm on telly a lot in the UK and people are kind of vaguely interested in my standup and stuff. But it turned into a self-help book because it was talking about all the most interesting things in my life were kind of the pivotal, the changing points of like, well,

how did I get into that? And what was the thing that changed? And I figured the thing that actually changed was my disposition. Like what I believed to be true in the world changed and then everything changed. So I went from going, well, I'm not the kind of person that has an interesting life to going, yeah, I'm one of those people. You know what is interesting about that? Just that whole idea right there is something that like nobody can do anymore. Nobody can change their minds. Nobody can be like, I i used to think this but now i've learned something about life and i think the total opposite they take it as you know they dig their heels in and they argue on twitter about it but they don't i've got a quote in the book from uh the beastie

boys um and they they i think it's um i'm just trying to work out which beastie boy but it's basically says that someone critiqued him for being misogynistic in the 80s. And he went and they said, and then he was being very right on and cool. And they went, you're a hypocrite. And he said, well, I'd rather be a hypocrite than the same person all my fucking life. Absolutely.

Oh, you flip-flopped. No fucking kidding, I flip-flopped. I was 23 when I said that. Now I'm 35. Yeah, a lot of shit's changed and so is my viewpoints. I flip flopped. I was 23 when I said that. Now I'm 35. Like, yeah, a lot of shit's changed. And so is my viewpoints. I think that thing about politics, I mean, you've got to remember, like Obama ran on a no gay marriage ticket, but he changed his mind. I think if you like one of the great questions in life, I'll put it to both of you guys. Right. It's one of my favorite questions in the world. What is the last thing you changed your mind about? Well, I was going to have cereal and then I decided to have donuts a minute ago for breakfast.

Well, that sounds like a terrible decision. Your colon is not going to thank you for that decision. Well, no, I mean, I, I've definitely kind of done, I've come around on the whole cancel culture thing. We're in the beginning because we were bloggers and podcasters who were saying ridiculous shit and we were getting criticized. And there was a time where I was like, if you're trying to be funny and that's your intent, it means everything. And you should be able to say whatever you want. And then I've kind of come around on the idea that you can't say literally anything you want at every single moment of the day

without experiencing some sort of, you know, consequences or backlash from it. But hey, you know, freedom of speech was never freedom. It's a freedom to say it, not freedom of consequence. Right, right. And nothing's free of consequence. People have the freedom to say, I didn't like when you said that.

My problem with cancel culture is that it's not as good as religion. I'm an atheist. So I live in a secular world and I look at religion, I go, you know, we're fucking up. They do it better than us. Because when you look at religions, they have a metric, a mechanism for forgiveness and redemption and a way back. We don't have that. Once you get cancelled, you're cancelled forever. Once you get publicly shamed, you know, like Monica Lewinsky is still that girl Monica Lewinsky. That moment is like frozen in amber, and it just keeps on recurring, recurring, recurring. What do you think you are?

In terms of uncancellable? No, no, no. What do you think people are going to remember Jimmy Carr as? Oh, I mean, I don't know. I think there's that weird thing about wanting to leave legacy. And I think that's, my theory is that they're religious itches that we're trying to scratch in a modern world. I think fame has replaced heaven. Fame and fortune has replaced heaven. So that's a place where you go i i everything will be okay if i'm famous and you know it's not by the way i'm rich and i can tell you that you you

you don't have the same problems but you have a different set of problems you know it's not the land of milk and honey but that's the promise and the idea of legacy and what you'll be remembered for is is kind of the idea of immortality. That's the idea I will live on. So I do like that theory when people talk a lot about grief in the book and, you know, that idea that you die twice. You die when you die and you die the last time someone says your name. And so I think when you chat to friends, there's a little lesson in the podcast.

If you chat to friends and they say, I lost my mother, ask them their mother's name. So what was your mum called? What was she called? You don't need to toast them, but you could just take a moment to go, that was a person and you recognize that they lived. It's like a little mini celebration. Yeah. Look at Jimmy Carr dropping wisdom on us. Sure. I remember reading, I think it was Conan he can't read he just said this he's been trying to read and he's learned that he can't

bro I meant I saw a tweet I wasn't reading a book don't be ridiculous that's what I read means in 2021 but it was during Conan doing a tour for his last show i think he was interviewed the new york times and he said something to the effect of um you have to remember that everyone's grave goes unvisited or whatever and he said he had that that was a very freeing moment for him when he stopped worrying about his legacy when he stopped worrying about when

the last time someone has says his name will be and he's just like i'm just gonna do my thing while i'm here i don't think that was there is something about like this as well like you know podcasts and comedy i think comedy you know i've just done a special that drops on christmas day for netflix and you're very proud of these things and it's something that will be you know hopefully be there forever but you go well there's there's it's it's of the moment comedy it kind of of, it, it rocks. You, you know, no one's really other than people like me, real nerds are looking at comedy specials and albums from the sixties. No one's looking at that anymore. So you go, there's a, there's a now to it.

That's, I think that's great as well. I think that's to be celebrated. It's quite kind of Buddhist. It kind of lives in the moment. In the moment. Yeah. Yeah. Do you look back at your old comedy and and think it ages well or do you cringe or do you try do you think you try to do comedy that lasts forever or do you just do it in the moment i'm very conscious in specials i don't do a lot of topical stuff so i limited myself like on this last special like i did like i'll do five one liners about covid in a minute and a half and then we'll just walk away from that because

otherwise it feels like the whole thing is like you watch a minute and a half. And then we'll just walk away from that because otherwise it feels like the whole thing is like, you watch a special, someone's talking about this Bush guy's an idiot. This, this, this Jimmy Carter's not going to last. And you go,

ah, it means anything anymore. Um, but I'm a little bit conscious of that, but then it's, I'm aware that I look back at the early stuff and you go, I'm trying to get better. I've been doing a thing recently where I've been trying to,

I'm a one liner guy, which is, Oh, I have to get the, can I pause this for one second? Sure. I'll be one sec, sorry. I can't tell if he's getting us right now or something. What? I can't tell if he's doing something with us right now. I know, I was like, are we getting pranked?

Yeah. I'll be honest, I thought it was Jim Jefferies. I didn't know it was Jimmy Carr. I thought I got the wrong guy here. Oh, hey, Jimmy. Hey, I'm back. Sorry. Some room service arrived at the, uh, what's he going to say? I'm working on a thing at the moment. I've been a standup comic doing kind of one-liner stuff for 20 years. And I'm working on a thing now where I'm trying to put together longer routines with lots and lots of jokes from different angles. And then kind of a bit of a point at the end so like proper stand-up routines in that kind of traditional sense the thing that i love about

stand-up is it's a task without end and that's where i think you find happiness in life like i'm trying to be a better comic and there's no point at which i go right i'm a better forever right yeah it goes forever and that's kind of where you get you get happiness from those tasks where you go well that's just a road oh really because i feel like sometimes that feels very sisyphusian to me where it's like i almost want there to be an end goal because otherwise it just feels sisyphusian to your friend and then the hill it rolls down and then you get to do it again yeah yeah you had a job yeah that's what a fucking job is man And then the hill, it rolls down and then you get to do it again. Yeah. Yeah.

You had a job. Yeah. That's what a fucking job is, man. I like that thing of like anybody, especially when you, cause you, you know, we get to take specials and things. You look back at the early specials and you go, Oh my God. Like, I still find it funny. You've forgotten that you wrote that joke and your mind still goes to the same place and you go, Oh no, but I would do do i would do a slightly different thing with it i would i

would take it further down there and it's you know you you can see that you're getting better it's um it's it's interesting i find it like uh i want that for everyone that was the other reason to write the book is quite um i suppose uh there's a tiny bit of altruism in me, a tiny bit. And I liked the idea that I think there's two great adventures in life. The first one is finding your purpose and what you want to do. And the second one is pursuing it. And a lot of people never get to find that thing where work is more fun than fun. I mean, I would say that the vast majority don't.

Yeah, people don't get to find that. And it's because it's the unthinking rules of like, okay, well, I would say that the vast majority don't. Yeah. People don't get to find that. And it's because it's the unthinking rules of like, okay, well, I've got to get this job and I've got to do this thing. Most people are in that, on that hamster wheel of they're working in a job that they don't like in order to buy stuff they don't need to impress people they don't like. Right. It's crazy. And then you go, well, how much would, you you know, I I'm all for people following their dreams.

I suppose what I like, I go on about this a lot in the book about finding your edge. What's the thing that you find easy that everyone else finds difficult. What's the thing that you do best. And it's not like best in the world. You know, I'm not the best comic in the world, but comedy is what I do best.

Better than the average. Yeah. So what? No, but even nevermind the average, just better than I do anything else better than I do. Okay. Yeah but even never mind the average just better than i do anything else better than i do okay yeah i'm not trying to beat anyone else i'm trying to be better than i was last year that's the whole that's the trick of it you're in competition with yourself

and only yourself so are these gonna win are these the lessons that you are like imparting to your son or did you give like specific things like do this in life and don't do this in life and go here there's a few there's a few specifics in there a few obvious things i mean all self-help books say the same thing but i'll i'll break it down this is not for you this is for your friend with a mustache um here's here's it all self-help book says prioritize later over now that's all self-help books everything in that section of the bookstore says prioritize later over now. That's all self-help books. Everything in that section of the bookstore says prioritize later over now, hard choices now, easy life later, right? So as a standup comic, if you spend a lot of time writing the show, it's a ball eight to write the show and to try out new material. But then when you record the special, it's easy because you did the hard work. And it's like, it's just true in life. Like, you know, there's old Chinese proverbs, the weight doesn't get lighter, our backs get stronger.

The more work we put in, the easier it seems to get. The luckier we seem to get, the more we do. And finding your edge in life is about that thing of going, well, take what you've got a natural predilection for, what you're a bit good at, add hard work and time, and that's your luck. In show business is a great example because we're buying lottery tickets every time we put hard work in and write a new show.

We're buying lottery tickets to the big time to be more successful. And they don't all pay out. Life isn't fair. But some of them pay out. You're increasing your odds every time. Damn, Jimmy Carr. I did not. I expected to get insulted on here.

I didn't expect to get inspired. This is you got me ready to go through a brick wall here. I thought I thought the I thought the self-help was going to be like, you know, make sure you lock the door when you when you're 13 years old, you start masturbating, not, you know, learn how to fucking achieve your dreams through Sun Tzu's philosophies. Who do you think you are, Jimmy Carr? Yeah. I think it's like the thing of like, I've got 50 coming up and I became a father and I slightly went, a lot of people come to me for advice. Weirdly, I'm a great, and I think this

is a great thing to be, by the way, I kind of give this advice in the book, a very specific thing. If you have a friend that's in trouble, cool. Like I've got a lot of friends that like, you know, occasionally end up in the papers and they get in trouble and call them and go, I don't know what to say, but I thought I'd call anyway. That's the message. Like the big thing I learned, I got publicly shamed 10 years ago for like tax avoidance. I was like on the front page of the papers. It was big. Bad boy, Jimmy. Woo. How much? Huh? How much? Oh, millions. It was big. Bad boy Jimmy. Woo. How much? Huh? How much?

Oh, millions. I mean, it was a lot. A lot of money. Fuck the man. Yeah. And this is me saying this, not you guys. There's a lot. I'm sure it's a lot.

I'm looking at the house you rented. I'm thinking a lot for you would be 20 bucks, right? But that thing of like going, calling on the day, like, so if someone has a problem, especially something medical, like a friend of yours has a miscarriage, right? Especially as men, we go, I don't know what to say. Just phoning and saying, I don't know what to say. That is communication enough. That's saying I'm there for you. And being a foul weather friend is a wonderful thing to be. And when you're, when you're riding high and you're having a party,

of course, everyone's going to be there, but who are you going to call in the tough times? That's the thing. And I wanted to take a little bit of that kind of philosophy in life and kind of put that into the book and say, well, you know,

for the tough times, what's the thing? What's everyone's got an edge. Everyone's got like something they're great at. What are you, what are we going to do with you? What, what are we going to do with you what what do we find because you could do i genuinely believe people can do anything i mean you can do anything but you can't do everything and the whole social media world that we live in now is making us feel terrible about ourselves yeah big time because you

know you only see the best of people you you compare your insides to other people's outsides and even that there's a weird thing going on now that I find quite funny where people are getting jealous of themselves because they see themselves their Instagram they look at that Instagram and they go who's this person that's always smiling and always sucking their stomach in and always having a great time and hey it's it's always at six o'clock somewhere drinking and then they look at their life and they feel kind of depressed and anxious and go, who is this? It's not a fair representation. You point, you point at who? Oh yeah. You're up here on there. Yeah. Yeah.

You're pointing at me? On my screen. You're up there. Yeah. What are you pointing at me for? I do the exact opposite of that. Yeah. So the, you just hate yourself, period. The whole thing on the internet where people are gonna only post their wins and shit like that no no no no no you never see me post john strictly post l's all i do is lose all i do is lose on the internet i want to be i don't be rude because you use you're a lovely guy but i feel like just just a selfie of you makes people feel better about themselves.

Well, let me ask you this, though. What do you think about John's forehead right now? That's a fine looking forehead. There's nothing the matter with that. Tell him, be like, I'll give you all of the money that I avoided in taxes if you can just raise your eyebrows this high. Because he can't because he's loaded up with Botox right now. Oh, he had a bit of Botox, did he? Oh, big time. Oh, big time. His first dose. I would describe that as how was that the priority?

How was the terrible beard not the priority? I think you could be... You know what? I think despite your fame and your wealth from comedy, I don't think I got it as a joke, Jimmy. It's a classic joke. It's a Botox joke. Haven't you ever heard that joke?

You don't even get jokes. You get poison in your face for the big laugh, you idiot. Oh, yeah. That's like the guy that ironically buys the flashlight and then unironically fucks it. Yeah, I've done that too, Jimmy. You're nailing my comedy. You're nailing it, baby. That's exactly what I do.

You did do that too. Yeah, I think the, I remember one year being at Just for Laughs and they gave all of the comics a fleshlight in the welcome pack. And then it worked so well because everyone had fleshlight material for the next year. Everyone, they gave me this thing i was a great bit of pr by those guys that's very smart i had to free myself to clean it i just threw it away but i did try it i'm all for self-improvement i think i think it's great i

think i would recommend a razor i don't think the beard's really working for you no because no my thing with the beard and this is smart you might want to put this in your next self-help book, is if you kind of like don't care about your face, then no one can insult your face for being bad. You're like, yeah, no shit. I don't even try. If you don't try, then it can't be a reflection on you. It's disarming. If I was all shaved and I looked nice, you'd be like, oh, this guy's trying. He's still ugly.

Yeah, so at least he can say, well, if I ever put some work into it i'd look better i got my out that feels like the kind of thing a guy says who cries himself to sleep at night that feels also correct also correct yes you could take better care of yourself you know you could it's actually awesome everything you've said so far i do the exact opposite it's beautiful like the exact opposite here's the here's the thing i think it's that thing a lot the the other bit of advice i give my son in the book is like that thing of like bullies are not clever they're not smart they see who the victims are and the victims are the people that don't care of themselves they don't take care of themselves they don't they don't you know they don't they don't get to themselves i would say you're not taking care of yourself

he just called you a victim and out of yourself is the bully yeah yeah you're not taking care of yourself. You're a victim. He just called you a victim. And out of yourself is the bully. Yeah, you're the bully. Yeah. Yeah, you quickly decided which one of us have a lower self-esteem. The whole time, you're a fucking bully, Jimmy Carr. Yeah, but I mean, I'm not wrong, though, am I? You're a tax evasion bully. That's it. That feels like You're a tax evasion bully. That's it.

That feels like we have a title for the episode. There it is. I've got a question for you with the, the calling people when they're, when they're in a bad spot. Yeah. How many, how many bad spots does a person get? Cause I feel like in this day and age, everyone's in a bad spot. All your friends need attention at all times. And you kind of got to be like,

look, man, a little bit. Let's just, let's just put your shoes on this morning and you handle today. I'll get you. There's a lot of mental health, like a boy who cried wolf stuff.

I think. Uh, I don't know. I mean, I think, I think we're at the, I think maybe it seems that way now because we're just at the start of people talking about mental health yeah i'm trying to work on a routine

about at the moment about the idea of what we used to call mental health like if someone was like literally someone could be suicidal and you'd go he's really not himself right right yeah they're they're a little crazy you're annoying you're in remember my mother saying, oh, he's got the blues. He's really got the blues. And the guy was like, the guy killed himself. Killed himself. Yeah, no, he really had the blues. Well, that's like, I mean, my favorite thing.

Down in the dumps, wasn't it? Really down in the dumps. Gary Goldman with The Great Depression, where he wrote a book as a kid, where it was the tree that could only grow if the tears that he shed was watering but i mean he was like this is very clearly an allegory for a depressed child mom how did you not see it but they just didn't i mean it just wasn't a thing back then right yeah i think it's that thing where i think the crying wolf thing is it's um i i shouldn't say crying wolf but i just i think I think, I think people get, you know, it's like, I don't,

you don't want to compare problems and who has it worse, but sometimes it's like, you know, you also have to count your blessings at the same time. You know, not everything is, I think, I mean, they've done studies on this. Gratitude is a huge part of, and I get where you come from. I mean, you know, so it does feel like we come from a generation that's like, like, uh, the real men back in the sixties wouldn't have discussed any of this. They would have drank, drank through the problem and they would have killed themselves. Yeah. I think things are getting better. Things are, you know, people are being more open about this and also being around to kind of discuss that and saying, like saying, I feel anxious.

It's literally, or I feel depressed. it's the best that we have it literally talking therapy is as good as it's got and you go and see a therapist because you don't have good friends you can rely on that will talk about this right you know actually if you've got great friends around that you can talk to about this and kind of nip it in the bud it it really helps i mean it really makes a difference to people and uh yeah i think there's a or a podcast you can whine to for five years why not why not it's good but you know suffering it's also that thing of like the camaraderie of it is fantastic of going like i suffer with anxiety people go because i suffer a bit with anxiety but i try and see it in a really positive way of going i've got quite a creative mind i'm good at writing

jokes i'm good at writing books and things but i I can write a Netflix special, but also I can't fucking switch it off. So sometimes at 5am I'll wake up with a panic attack because it's your, your mind is churning and churning and churning over stuff and worst case scenarios and what else is going on at the same time. So it's, it's the, the, it's sort of the yin and the yang of your creative mind so trying to see it in a bit of a positive way the camaraderie of it is honestly one of the best parts it's like our generation we didn't have a world war so we didn't we didn't really get the the boys storming the beaches at normandy we don't have the talent to become athletic or have that locker room culture so it was just like yeah man we're, we're sad. High five. I like that.

We're sad, bro. I like that. We're all well said. In the book, Before and Laughter, available on Amazon, I make a distinction between depressed and sad. I think there's words that get conflated in our society, right? Big time. And I talk about this a lot because you go,

depression is an illness right if someone has it and and the you know the symptom of that illness is is suicide at its worst there's an epidemic of suicide in young men and that's a symptom of depression that's like it happens because of depression and people kill themselves they got one life and it's too much and they die it's's awful. But you've never said to anyone, no one ever says, I've got lung cancer. You go, fucking snap out of it, man. Come on. It's a sunny day. Let's get out. Let's get out of it. You never say that to someone with cancer, but we've all said that to someone with depression. We've all said, I fucking snap out of it. Yeah. Going for a walk is not going to fucking change my brain, guys. Leave me alone. I've got a serotonin imbalance. It's a serious thing. But if you're sad, it's circumstantial.

It's like, okay, so I was sad in my early twenties. It's more socially unacceptable to say I'm sad than I'm depressed. It's not acceptable to say that to a group of friends to say, oh, I'm really sad. Why? Well, I don't like my life at the moment and I don't like the way things are working out. I'm upset. But sad is great because you can do something about that. There's not much depression. It's debilitating, but you know, if you have it, I feel bad for you. Some people can white knuckle it. Some people need to see a doctor and get medicated, whatever. But with sadness, you go, is that, is this a legit depression?

Or is this, is this, am I just being, could I do something about this? What was there? Is there stuff in the book? That's like funny things that you're imparting to your son in this book? Is that like, like, like I wrote a blog. I mean, I was so young when I wrote it. It was very, it was joking, but also things that at the time I thought were important. So when I first started working for Barstool and I was writing,

I did like wisdom I'm going to give to my son. And I was probably 25 or six with no wisdom to give. But I was like, I went to a tiny college in the Bronx that had no sports and no frats and no nothing. So go to a big school that has a big time football program and has frats and alumni so that you love your college experience. Little things like that that are just like, don't do this, but do that. Are there things like that or is it more all grand life like philosophy? More like universal stuff. It's more stuff like so everyone.

So there's a lot of stuff in there. What's a good example? A lot of stuff about conflated words. So I think happiness is interesting. i've got the secret of happiness in there which i think is a pretty good thing to have in a book yeah i would say so okay so happiness my theory on happiness is its expectations exceeded so really you you know if you want to be happy just lower your expectations a little bit why is new year's eve absolutely shitty new year's eve is always bad it's coming up it's always it's for amateur drinkers it's a terrible night out it is always bad. It's coming up. It's always, it's for amateur drinkers. It's a terrible night out. It's always bad. And why? Well, because our expectations are, we're going to have the best night. It's going to be the best time. What are the best nights we've ever had?

The best nights ever are like, it was a Tuesday. I wasn't meant to be going out. I bumped into someone when I was getting groceries and we ended up in the club. It was insane. That's the best night. So like birthdays, another another great example it's expectations exceeded so your birthday there's too much expectation so it's not a great day but sometimes when you know randomly you got given something as a kid it's like the best thing ever because it wasn't christmas it wasn't this i think christmas coming up as well talk about mental health a lot of people have such a tough time at christmas because the expectation is a perfect Hollywood white picket fence Christmas. And no one's got that.

Although, Jimmy, we looked this up recently. The holidays, the least amount of time someone kills themselves. How about that? May. Number one month. Watch out for May. May will get you. Which actually does kind of make sense, though, because as as tough as the holidays might be for what you explained, you probably are around your family and you still get some happiness or, you know, maybe it doesn't reach the level you wish, but you go home or you're around them. Yeah. And something like a random day in May when not much is going on and there's no holidays and there's just the time that you're like, fuck it. Yeah. I mean, this is a scary thing with with with suicide. I with suicide. I mean, actually the rates are really interesting as well on the, like as many, as many young women as, I mean,

it's the biggest killer of the under fifties, uh, is suicide. What? Yeah. Biggest killer of the under fifties. Holy shit. No one's really talking about it enough. And you go, actually, what's a great way to medicate actually podcasts like this comedy shows it's a great way to to medicate like if you have a problem with depression it's great to expose yeah we the amount of people that we get especially for a show like ours that doesn't talk about i mean we talk

about it but we're not it's not the focus of it the amount of people who come up and say like you really helped me through a tough time or i wouldn't be here without this and we're just like kind of fucking around but if you find the right podcast that you really like and through a tough time or I wouldn't be here without this. And we're just like kind of fucking around. But if you find the right podcast that you really like and, and zone into it, it kind of gives you something. Well, it also comes like that regular thing of listening to the guys, seeing what they've got to say, like that thing of it's, it's a friendship. It works in the same dynamic as a friendship. It's a, it's a wonderful thing. But yeah, there's, there's kind of an epidemic and sadly it's higher rates with

men than women because you know, guys are, guys are better at it. wonderful thing. But yeah, there's kind of an epidemic and sadly, it's higher rates with men than women because, you know, guys are better at it. There, I'll say it. We're good at practical things

like killing ourselves terribly. So it's, you know, I think it's a great thing to talk about because it's also, here's my view on suicide.

I talk about this in the book as well. The book's really funny as well. I recommend the book. It's like 9,000 pages long. How many fucking things do you talk about? Well, look, here's the thing. Here's the point I make about suicide that's well worth it.

It'll make you go, hmm. It's the permanent solution to a temporary problem. Yeah. Whatever you think is a huge problem now, in 10 years' time, I guarantee you, you can give a fuck. You barely remember. Right. So it's that thing of like the saddest things when you read about them,

when you see the new story about our 17 year old kill himself, cause he broke up with his girlfriend. He got, Oh no. Right. That's not going to be a big deal, dude. Right. Right. That's going to be, that's a nothing. That's a footnote in your story. But like, but you know, like John's beard, for example, like that, that's good. Those pictures are going to be forever. You know what I mean? Like those, everyone's going to know that this is what he looks like when he has a beard and

yeah not bad man it's all right you don't have a woman in your life no no i don't yeah i okay now you think the beard could be related to that it It looks like timelines. It syncs up pretty well. I'll tell you, I'll tell you what you look like. You look like a hobo. That's how to make over on daytime TV. But he had the makeover, Jimmy.

He's had the makeover. Yeah. No, they cleaned you up a little bit. I love it, man. Well, listen,

I mean, to be, to be absolutely honest, we've had people promote books before and it's like, yeah, I mean, to be, to be absolutely honest, we've had people promote books before and it's like, yeah, you know, go check it out. This genuinely sounds like a book that would really, really resonate with our audience specifically too, that I think is probably, it's a, it's a love letter to stand up comedy.

It's basically taking standup comedy as the, as the kind of number of the book and go, look, there's certain lessons in standup comedy, being a comedian, like makes you stronger at certain things. So we get very good at failure, right? We get very good at failing because lots of things we think are going to be funny. We say them in front of an audience and they're not, and you go, okay, I'll move on. And that failure loop is so healthy in life because people think they've got to be perfection, one and done. And we only ever judge people on results, right? So we only ever see, you know, Michael Jordan shooting the perfect hoop.

We never see the hard work that went into it. We never see the years. We never see the jokes that didn't work, that didn't make it into Chris Rock's special. We never see that. We just see the greatest of all time nail it 100% of the time. So it's that thing about talking about failure. And then I talk about pattern recognition as being one of the great, like the way you write jokes is like, it's you're subverting patterns. And really all of human life is about patterns. You're looking

for patterns in life. You're looking for the way things work because they're little shortcuts, the little cheats on how life operates. I love it, man. It's something that I think really a lot of people who resonate with us, it'll resonate with them. So good job on you. And again, congratulations on the Million Views Club. It's truly an accomplishment. And my mom, she's been talking about your special

a lot, so we can't wait to watch it on Christmas Day. I mean, it's... My mom likes Jim Jefferies better than you. We're basically Australian, British, it's all the same. Same thing. Yeah, it's my mom likes Jim Jefferies better than we're basically Australian, British. It's all the same thing. Yeah, it comes out on Christmas Day, which makes me feel like Oprah Winfrey. It's like, you know, because of because of my name, you get a car, you get a car, you get a car.

I love it. If your family watches my special on Christmas Day, please get in touch because it feels like that is that's the measure of any well-balanced family. Let's watch some absolute filth from the British guy. Let's scrap that Oprah joke, okay? I mean, really, you're better than that. I like that.

Are you going to car? The listen, I'm friends with failure. I'll be in the, I'll take my medicine. I'll be in the joke. I'll think of a better one.

That's not in the special. So don't panic. You are the man, Jimmy. Thank you very much, dude. Well, thanks for having us on.

I, you know, this is great. We'd love to do it again anytime. So, uh, don't be a stranger. Thank you,

Jimmy. I'll be back. Thanks. Big thanks to Jimmy Carr. great, So don't be a stranger. Thank you, Jimmy. I'll be back. Thanks. Big thanks to Jimmy Carr. Great, great interview. What a guy. Unbelievable. You know what's interesting? And I hope it happens to us one day. It's almost like, hey, an inside joke. I'd love to be

a part of one one day when he said he had that epiphany, if you will. My nose is so red. Right? Definitely. I mean, it's like, it looks like i have a sunburned nose yeah it does he had that epiphany where he used to think i'm not an interesting person and then he was like no i am and he speaks like it now you know he talks although yeah you notice he was uh you know throwing out some some pretty well known and often

used one-liners you know what i mean i don't know yeah it was like kind of like yeah we've all heard that one you're not the first to say permanent solution to a temporary problem it was another one too it was like yeah you know um but you know like you should listen to me. And I do have some interesting angles and thoughts that like do that can benefit people. I hope one day to reach that point. Because I really do not believe that you will write a book and you will do a podcast and you will do, you know, where it's like, no, we are interesting. And we do know more than the average person. And we are funnier and all that shit. But we got to get there. We'll work on it. So jimmy uh i'll be covered we'll get on that go get jimmy

carr's book now let's talk to i do what he prints what i said i do want to read that yeah i know i do actually go to freddie prince jr uh who has a new show talking wrestling and man you know you can listen to anybody talk about anything when they've got passion for it. And even if you're not a wrestling guy, listen to Freddie Prince talking about the ins and outs of writing scripts and, and promos and whatnot for the wrestling world. And we're talking all about, uh, old school wrestling, new school wrestling, his movies, his upbringing, his life, losing his father, all of it. Another very captivating and interesting cat. This interview is brought to you by NHTSA.

You know, they always come around when they want to protect you and make sure that you, uh, that you make it out alive. So it's the holiday season. You're going to be going to a lot of parties. You're going to be drinking a lot of eggnog. You'll be doing a lot of hottie hotties, sipping whiskey by the fire. I need a hot toddy right now. You're doing a little, baby, it's cold outside. Why don't you stay for one more drink?

And then next thing you know, you're supposed to be getting in a car. And everybody always says, I only had a couple. There's only a glass of eggnog. I'm fine. And next thing you know, the worst can happen. You're in an accident. Someone gets injured or dies or someone gets pulled over and arrested and goes to jail. Someone's got $10,000 of legal fees. You get a DUI and you lose your job. Drive sober or get pulled over. That's the motherfucking motto. Not after a few drinks,

not after one drink, not after any drinks. Shit, you shouldn't even get on the road, period, because the other idiots out there might be drunk driving, just stay home. And if you do get in the car, drive sober or get pulled over so that you don't hurt someone, kill someone, ruin your life, or at the very least ruin your wallet and your bank account. So protect yourself and other drivers out there on the roads and drive sober or get pulled over. For more information information go to uh nizza.gov slash drive sober it's it's freddie prince jr on kfc radio let's talk to him all right man this is a big one for me dude i feel like i'm 36 i feel like anybody okay okay you know anybody in my age range you're one of those dudes you are that guy man you you you had uh you had you know you were

you're up there for one of those, like when you're having conversations, like you could switch lives with one guy, who would it be? Freddie Prinze Jr. is up there, dude. Nah, but there had to be a moment where there was some hate too, because you didn't want to see another rom-com and your girl drug you to it anyway. So there, come on.

Be real. Be real. You couldn't be possibly more wrong. This is the wrong show for that. Nine times out of ten, you get a couple guys from Barstool Sports that's like, yeah, man, fuck those movies and chicks. We're like, oh my god,

Matthew McConaughey movies are great. How those guys are gazing. I was just doing research as we do. I was just doing a little research and I was just curious where Summer Cats was filmed because I was, I was, you know, doing research as we do. I was just doing a little research and I was just curious where summer catch was filmed. Cause I'm on my way to Marcus being right now, who has a Cape league team. And I, in the,

in the research of finding out where summer catch was filmed in South Carolina, North Carolina, Green, North Carolina, Wilmington, Wilmington. At that moment, I learned it wasn't a beloved movie because I fucking love that movie. OK, so this is the weirdest thing with this movie. So once a year, MLB Network plays it. And all of a sudden, once a year, my Twitter will blow up with like random dudes literally saying, fuck that movie. Fuck that guy. Sucks. This and that.

And then like one out of every 30 of those like random mentions i don't know why they mentioned me but right off they there'll be one guy like hey man fuck you guys i like that movie it's the weirdest it's the weirdest when you guys appreciate it totally it's totally fine you know i'm not saying uh it's on my mount rushmore movies but it's a great you know baseball dating hot chick flick you know whatever i always feel bad when people talk to me because i'm like yo man i'll be honest i haven't seen it so i don't you never even watched it i've seen three things i've done in my whole life what have you seen what are the three there was a little independent movie i made okay the house of yes uh with Parker Posey, which is so creepy and weird. It's a dark comedy.

You will laugh unless your parents are there. But it's really gross and creepy, and they joke about incest, and it's weird. I'm telling you right now it's weird. All right. I saw that. I did this, another independent movie called, that Terrence Winter wrote, the guy from Sopranos and Boardwalk Empire. It was about his life, and it was called, they changed the name of it. It was called I'm nailed right in, uh, which they thought stood for the,

the INRI, the, on the Jesus crucifix. Oh, wow. That's, that's a bit, uh, I think they changed the title to Brooklyn rules or something like that. I was going to say that to me, that's when I was like, okay, I, and all right, how can we do it? I nailed right in. All right, there we go. Then we can say it's on the crucifix. All right.

So those two and the third one. And I, I saw, I know you did last summer. I went to the premiere. I was going to say, yeah, yeah. I didn't see the second one though. I didn't see the second one. I heard, I heard I look kind of buff in the second one. So I had to figure out what I was doing back then dude i i just saw i know she's like so i scary

movies scare me so i but it's not scary i know like you are a colossal pussy if you're afraid of james wan destroyed i know i know you did last summer franchise with saw and every other crazy movie the horror genre evolves quicker than any other form of movie right like faster than comedies acts like we still watch the same action movies that our grandparents were watching it's just got more computer animated stuff in there but it's the same freaking movie but horror has to constantly outdo itself kind of like wrestling when it went to death matches and extreme, it was like, how far can we go? I'll wrestle you on the Empire State Building and throw you out.

You didn't know how far it would go, but that horror is in a similar field. It constantly has to outdo itself. That's one word because I just saw it. I wasn't scared, but I was avoiding it. You were scared. You were scared. You were crying like a little baby. It's fine.

I realized that the whole premise, watching it now in my older age, not the whole premise, but the whole plot hinges on the idea that sober drivers couldn't exist. Driving soberly isn't a thing. You were sober.

They'll never believe us. You were sober. They'll call the police. They'll never believe us. You were sober. And they'll call the police. And they're like, don't believe me. They'll never believe I was driving the car. The moral of the story is never have a designated driver. It's like having a dad with four kids. They're constantly like, shut up out there.

You better keep your mouth shut. Never have a designated driver. Just make sure you're hammered. Those movies, though, man. Because I don't even, I wouldn't call them a horror movie, but it's like a slasher flick. That's not cool, man. It was a horror movie. You see what that son of a bitch James Wan has done? At the time it was. Yeah, you're right.

You're talking about it like it's a comedy. No, but I'm not mad at you. Scream, and I know what you did last summer, have this spot in my heart where it was like it was scary, but it was also like cool and there was cool kids in it. You know what I mean? Scream had the inside humor going. Yeah, yeah. Scream's very meta.

I felt Scream really separated itself from everything because it was kind of telling jokes on itself while you were watching it. I loved it for that. I loved it for that. The scene and i know what you did last summer when she's like in the rant oh we're out here what do you want i'm right here it's just like this is amazing i love it people hit me with that gif or gif gif yeah they hit me with that all the time man with the the rain and the boobs and the circle yeah everybody loves that yeah do you think those count as high school movies too like teen movies i think they got that's what i mean it's like a kind of you know yeah they're everything they're they're like every every generation has those it's pretty people with problems like that's all friday friday the 13th

was that's all those are man what what i love about that time too, like late, I guess maybe it was, when did that come out? Late nineties or mid nineties? Mid nineties? No. So I'm thinking somewhere. 96, 97, somewhere. Right. So that 96, 97, late nineties into early two thousands for me was movies like that and wrestling. Like the attitude era. Yeah. I, I maintain. Your generation loves it. I swear to God, I would call the WWF Attitude Era, I think, is the most entertaining thing that has ever existed. Movies, music, TV, the script writing, the storylines, the actual wrestling, the characters that came out of it it birthed you know

the rock and stone cold i mean to me it's like this was the greatest thing they've ever that has ever been put together it's amazing so your generation is literally who the attitude era was was created for right right i'm in the minority where i did not enjoy it as much now i'll i'll acknowledge this we could debate this the whole show if you want um i love talking about so i'll give you this the stars they produced forget it okay unparalleled they they say you know never say that no one will surpass this person because someone always does that's not happening okay no one's surpassing the rock and stone cold it's not it's not happening and the matches were phenomenal phenomenal however those storylines made me stop watching wrestling for a while man like. Like, it came off and this is a guy saying that the 80s

weren't goofy. It came off so goofy to me. What was goofy? I didn't. It was serious. It was hardcore. What are you talking about? Fuck you. The man who would choke his opponents with a sock on his hand? Are you saying this is goofy? Hardcore

shit, man. Don't you dare speak ill of that by the way the first time i met mankind i felt so bad i had never met him before i was meeting all these wrestlers for the first time and i went up to him and i was like oh yeah it's so great to meet you i love you i just met rick flair too and i guess he had major beef with rick flair and he just walked away and i was like oh damn it i love you. I wanted to tell you. So my issue with it was when I was growing up watching it back in my day, you would book people for a year, a year. And the stories were slow and drawn out. And when the Attitude Era came out and by their own admission,

it was inspired by Jerry Springer and that talk show kind of reality TV, which I also was not a fan of. I've never watched an episode of Jerry Springer and that talk show kind of reality TV, which I, which I also was not a fan of. Um, I've never watched an episode of Jerry Springer in my life. So Mr. Highbrow. Are you kidding? I watched professional wrestling.

Don't call me highbrow. You don't, you're telling me you don't want to watch may young give birth to a hand. That was no Mark. Henry's father was the father. Are you kidding me? What's wrong? Exactly. That was so weird, dude. That was some shit. I was like, Oh, weird. Is that a hand that was Mark Henry's father was the father? Are you kidding me? What's wrong? Exactly. That was so weird,

dude. That was some shit. That was so weird. Was that a hand? I don't want to see Rikishi in prosthetics. I don't want to see... What about Kai and Tai chopping off Val Venus' penis? Well, that was cool. Choppy, choppy. Yo, pee-pee. By the way, I always liked Val Venus.

I felt like Val Venus was a way underrated guy, man. He's a good wrestler Val Venus was a way underrated guy, man. He's a good wrestler. He can fly. He can fly, man. And his gimmick I know was R-rated, and they were getting ready to go PG, but still, there's room for a little PG-13 in there. Even if you don't have – so, whatever.

That's fine. You don't – you know, the attitude error is not your cup of tea. Do you like the way that it's gone, like, so kid-friendly? Like, I feel like wrestling needs to to have inherently have some sex and some violence and some here's here's where kids here's where your argument i think holds holds more weight right professional wrestling wasn't started for kids right it was it was real they thought it was real it was adults it was grown-ups going They were getting drunk and get mad and want to fight the heel at the end of the match. It's inherently, by its very definition, a combat sport, and it should be watched by adults.

Right? But as it's evolved and it's had its ups and its downs, and by far the Attitude Era, by any metric, is the most successful as far as ratings money people like Vince Russo made the company more money than Jim Cornette would have made them forever and that's what pisses Cornette off but a lot of what Jim Cornette says I'm like yeah that's pretty dead on but his ideas didn't earn as much money and I think that's why he gets kind of kind of hot about it but I but I agree with with more of Jim's stuff than I do Vince's stuff. So, you know, as far as what they produced wrestling wise and star wise, that won't be matched as far as the product today. I'm like a lot of people. I'm just looking for one match or one segment that I,

that I love. I'm just looking for one. If I get more than that, that's gravy, but there's times where I don't even get one damn segment that I love. You know what I mean? So I understand people's frustrations. I thought NXT was the best show on WWE. And then they made these changes. Look, I'm 45. I'm old enough to remember.

You can't do that on television, on Nickelodeon. And that, to me, is not cool. I haven't watched it since they went splatter paint. I'm literally waiting for wrestlers to open lockers and be like, Hey, Alexander. And then you guys are too young for that show. But that was like, it was like a sketch comedy kids show. Right. I know what you mean. That corniness. Yeah. Yeah. And so I'm not, I'm not vibing with that.

I don't always like the way they book, but anybody who worked there, I'll tell you, I couldn't book for shit. When I worked for WWE, I was just a, I was just a really good writer. I could write you a speech. They call it a promo. We call it a monologue. I can write you something that will make people give a shit about who you are. If you couldn't do it and we didn't have enough time, then what I wrote was shit. But if you did connect to it and we did have enough time, then what I wrote was good. But my job, no matter what was to try and get you over if you're the wrestler so the first thing i would say i was raised by a bunch of psycho martial artists in southern california bob wall chuck norris gene labelle pat burleson like they all became my dad when my dad died because they were training him

because he wanted to learn how to fight and so i like criticism i don't shy away from it and i. And I literally would say like, what do you think? And if they didn't like it, I'd be like, all right, we got to rewrite this because you're going live in 25 minutes. And so, you know, we would sit down. People give me a lot of love for the Jeff Hardy stuff. But if you look at the first promo he and I did together, it wasn't good. When I wrote it, I was like, damn, that's shit. Cause I was like, you know, he was going through a lot of public stuff with drug addiction and things like that. And I'm like, you know, my dad went through that. I've always, I've had, you know, however many years, 30 some years to make my dad a sympathetic character. I can make him one too. And so I took away the black and the white of society. And I focused on that gray area and I made Jeff, Jeff, a sympathetic character who was literally going through drug

addiction and battling that shit. So I could do that. But if you were like, Hey, Freddie put together, you know, this week's matches, it would have been the worst show you've ever seen in your life. I don't, I don't know how to do that. And, and Freebird knew that and knew what my strengths were. And I told him at a certain point, I was like, stop giving me these booking assignments, man. I'm shit at this. I was like, tell me who you want to fight and I'll get you there. And so that's how, that's how I started to get some traction in that company and, and, and a little bit of a momentum. And was that like, does acting and that cross over at all? Or was that like, you know, it's like storytelling and, you know, conveying, you know?

Yeah. Storytelling. But the second time I went there, Vince asked me to come back to, we were at SummerSlam in LA before they took it away from us. And I was just going to visit and I was down ringside and Vince was there and he's like, ah, come over here. Takes the headset off. They were rehearsing stuff. And he throws his big old meat hook around me. He looks like RoboCop. His body looks like this armored shell of robocop right i used to call him that all the time yeah what's that i'm like you haven't seen robocop

you haven't seen robocop wait wasn't that one of his famous things like he doesn't watch but he's never seen movies he doesn't know why you wouldn't just watch wrestling i mean that's all that man does he lives and breathes it i was watching richard pryor live on a sunset strip on a jet one time flying from Cleveland back to New York. And he's like, why the fuck are you watching that? I'm like, this is Richard fucking Pryor. What are you talking about?

Why don't you watch the match? I'm like, I was there. We just saw it. I don't need to watch it again. So anyway, I'm down ringside. And Fitz is like this. He should have a PhDd in psychology right because he just knows people and he knows i didn't grow up with that what he knew i grew up without a father

i'd already worked in the company once and he throws an arm around me and he says uh man we could really use you back here son and he called me son that's like kryptonite to a dude who doesn't have a dad i was gonna say that's playing dirty man that's like you can do to a dude who doesn't have a dad. I was going to say, that's playing dirty, man. Very dirty. And he can do it. If he said that to me, I would feel like, wow, you know, it's like there's some love for me to a guy who's lost his father. It's like, fuck, man.

No, man, he's good at it. So he hits me with that, and he goes, you won't have to work like you used to. Just get their acting chops up. Like, run the promo class for me. And so I got to basically do acting class. And I didn't have to sit through the production meetings anymore, which were four hours long sometimes. And I could just, I would like sneak emails like, Hey, send me your promo so I can work on it with wrestler X, Y, or Z.

And so I would help the talent prep a little early. And then we would do these weirdo actor exercises to kind of help them develop their skills. The second time I went there was so much more fun than the first. That was always my argument for the anti-wrestling crowd. It's not real. What do you want to watch? These guys running around in their underwear. All these weird things.

I was like, do you watch movies and television with actors who are pretending to be characters? You know Law & Order, they didn't really shoot Jerry Orbeck, right? Like, get out of here. George Zunza was fine at the end of that first step. Like, people trip out on that. And it's just because,

and this is all human beings, right? We go with what we know. And if something isn't in that mainstream, we ridicule it till it goes away. Or if it makes money, we find a way to bring it into the fold, like the board and kind of dilute it and take its personality and turn it into a sandwich you know what i mean so yeah yeah

that's just what human beings do we're all hey brother we're all guilty of that i'm just as guilty as any other human being but that's just what we do it's why i like the older stuff more than the attitude era i go with what i know i'm i'm just a human being man and i acknowledge it's way more successful bigger stars better stars better matches higher quality acting better better everything but i like what i like the purity of your of your era that is i just like you sell it really well though because like you're saying things that i've said before where it's like look look, I understand this isn't the best. But what I like isn't the best. And people get mad at me all the time.

They're like, you're just fucking lying. You're just trying to get attention. No, I'm acknowledging. It's not the best, but I like it. It's what holds the place in my heart. People trip out on art from the dawn of time, right? And that's what wrestling is. It's the literal translation of blood, blood sweat and tears on a literal fucking canvas

okay it's it's literally the definition of art now i can walk through a museum there's an entire period in picasso's time called the blue period i think it sucks deal with that art world i haven't been inspired by a single fucking painting that picas. By the way, even outside the blue period, I don't think they're that good. I look at Amadeo Modigliani and I go, yo, this guy's way better, bro. Post-Renaissance, crushing it. And guess who else thought it was better than Picasso?

Fucking Picasso. Because Picasso, after he died, bought all of his artwork, made a speech about how great it was, and his paintings went from eight francs a portrait to 350,000 all the way back then, post-World War II. So Picasso agrees with me, too. It's just art.

How about Freddie Prinze Jr. cutting a promo for fucking Picasso right now? I'll tell you what, Freddie. I was just on a train, right? And for the first time, I've been wanting to read Kitchen Confidential by Anthony Bourdain, and I finally cracked it. And I've read like 100 pages because it was so great reading something to someone who's so passionate and knowledgeable about

talking about something. I know nothing about food, but I couldn't stop reading Bourdain's talk about it. I feel like that again right now, listening to you talk about wrestling. It's an art you are i'm almost a shit so i've always loved and i've read his book when it first came out um and he's one of those people who walked his own path and refused to conform to what people said was going to be

necessary for him to succeed and he said fuck it and there's that's not an easy thing to do there's a level of fearlessness that's required to do that. People like Pam Greer back in the seventies, who's a living legend to this day. She did things her own way, a beautiful black woman in the seventies that everyone in this business tried to take advantage of and not a single motherfucker could. She got him for every single dime. And Anthony Bourdain was the exact same way. Vince McMahon was the exact same way. I just interviewed the Ms on my podcast. I'll tell you this story. This is my favorite story. So when Brian Gewirtz was pitching Miz for world champion, he was kind enough to invite me into one of the rooms where they were going to talk about it. And this was when Miz won it in Atlanta, the first time he won the world championship and everybody's, you know, going back and forth. And it wasn't like an argument. It's just, here's the pros, here's the cons, here's what he's been doing for the company, all this stuff.

And I had already worked with Miz a lot in like their acting class stuff, the promo stuff, things like that. I was around there while they were doing their dirt sheet stuff, him and Morrison. And I really tried to sell all this stuff that shouldn't have worked. And none of those dirt sheet segments should have worked. Not one of those videos should have worked. But him and John just did such an insane job of committing to the absurdity of it that they were awesome. And they were killing it with those things. And they were getting a lot of heat just making fun of people. And I always compared Miz to Johnny Utah, right, from Point Break.

I'm like, and I literally said this in the meeting. I go, dude, he's Johnny fucking Utah, man. He'll jump out of a plane without a parachute, knowing that it's the right thing to do for the fucking company. And Vince goes, what the hell is Johnny? Johnny Utah. And again, I was just, it was like the rubble. I'm like, how do you not know? Point break, man. Patrick Swayze, you never you know you haven't seen anything ever so they're all pitching that idea and I have I had the Miz on my podcast and I was telling him that story and it kind of led to this the acting class thing we did uh which I talked about in like this I think maybe the first or second episode of my podcast where when I was in acting class there was an

exercise called repetition which was two actors standing across from each other in front of all their peers. And we say one line and we're both locked into that line. So if we start this podcast with, hey, Freddie, I'm really excited to see you. I'm locked into that. I have to go, oh, hey, you're really excited to see me? Yeah, I'm really excited to see you. You're really excited to see me. And it has to go back and forth until someone changes the line.

Whoever changes the line loses. And the point of the exercise is to show you there's a million correct ways to execute a line so long as you commit to the moment and the feeling behind it. And it lets you fail in front of your peers and helps you be less afraid of failure. And the less afraid of failure you are, the less you'll fail. And on a live that is fucking critical so a couple like the way you said you're not afraid of criticism not afraid to fail i mean that's that translates into like every business whether it's wrestling podcasting acting but nobody can do that shit these days nobody's you know it's hard like a lot of people are not supposed to do that there's a lot of people that are born post social media, which is a humiliation format. Sure.

And so there's a lot of fear and trepidation. But Miz, when I presented this exercise to the wrestlers, imagine if I tried to get you to do that in front of all your peers. You'd be more white than you are now. I would literally see your heart beat. It's impossible, brother. I don't know. I need a tan. You can get to Seamus levels tan you can get to seamus levels you can get to shame so nobody wants to do this they're all horrified and miss stands up he's like i'll do it and my eyes are like oh my god who's this

so he comes up and i go all right man i'll start you off and he goes no no i'm gonna start it and now i'm like oh he's gonna try something So he looks me dead in the face and he goes, what the hell are you going to teach me about acting? My stomach starts growling, right? Like a wolf. Cause now I'm like, oh, you're dead. Like we're not in a wrestling ring. Like you're in my arena, dude. It's your first try, right? So I'm like, what the hell can I teach you about acting? He's like, yeah, what the hell can, and we go back and forth and eventually changes the line. And everyone knew the rules and everyone goes,

oh, he changed the line. Now it makes everyone, he challenged my philosophy, right? In the beginning of the promo class and in beating him in that moment it secures my philosophy to the other students they're not students but you know what i'm saying yeah all of a sudden they go hey maybe this guy can teach me something because ms is sick on the mic and he just lost 12 years later i'm interviewing ms and of course because the only person who sells better than Miz is Ziggler, right? So Miz goes, oh yeah, man. He was like, I was already getting some love from Vince. He goes,

I knew I'd been to acting classes before when I was out in LA. He goes, it's important. He says, what I told you for me to challenge what you're saying and then lose because it puts you over for everybody else. And I literally was like, of course, of course. Because who sells more than this guy? And he's not lying. It's not after the fact, oh, let me up myself. That's not who this guy is, man. It was in the moment. He's such a company guy, dude.

He's never afraid to do the job. He knows it's show business. He knows which word is bigger. He just gets it, man. Like so many people get in their own way. I did in my 20s when I was a successful actor. I let my ego get in my way a couple of times and the people who helped raise me had to check me. And trust me, martial arts always tells the truth. It will humble you real quick. So I learned at a young age, but Miz learned this on the fly. This is a guy who started on real

world. Think Theo Vaughn. Okay. If you're familiar with Theo Vaughn, when he went into standup comedy, he was hated. Okay. He was hated. Other standup comics are like, fuck you, man. You're some reality show MTV road rules guy. Kiss my ass, man. No, I know this story because I know the two comics that were nice to him his whole career before he blew up. I did a podcast with one of them for two years. So he was not welcome in the green room. He was not treated well. And his determination and his work ethic and his ability and just constant grinding and his fearlessness doesn't care if he fails. Failure is not an option. There's only success. That's a very alpha personality. That's not me. I'm an omega. So it's very impressive to me when someone like you could tell if somebody their personality about compliment or criticism right like if you tell an alpha compliment or criticism they've already decided how they feel they don't care kobe bryant you're the best yeah thanks no i'm kidding you'll never be jordan yeah whatever

he doesn't care an actor musicians a lot of basketball players in this generation beta personalities like the kevin, very susceptible to criticism. You suck. Oh, yeah. Better than you'll ever be. Like, there's no reason for that response. The Omega personality just wants to know the motivation behind the compliment or the credit. Freddie, you're the best. He's got a script. He wants me to read a script. How do you suck? How many movies did his girlfriend drag him to? Like, that's where my brain goes. Right. So the alpha, which is Miz, they never see failure as the option. And his willingness to literally just jump in. No pair. He's Johnny Utah. No parachute. And he's caught Patrick Swayze every single time.

And Patrick's been dead a few years now and he still catches his ass. Miz and Miz just got picked up for a third season. I'm telling you, man, I have so much respect for that guy. And I know not everyone loves him, but to understand his process, his work ethic, and the fact that he had more speed bumps than your average bear, forget about it, man. He's a top dude for me. He is.

He is the, like, we were at SummerSlam this year in Vegas and we went to the after show and we've interviewed Miz once or twice. Always via Zoom because he's, you know, I think we started

doing interviews heavily during the pandemic and he came up to me at the, at the like the VIP post party. And he's like, what's up man? Love the show.

Love to come on again. And I was like, bro, how the fuck do you remember me? Like we've met for a half hour, but that's just like, it just seems to be the way he is. You guys, exactly as you're explaining. That's how Rock was reportedly when he was there.

I didn't work there when he was there, but on movie sets, my wife's done a movie with him. That's how Dwayne's always been too, man. I'm on a crusade. I've been on a crusade my whole career to try to find somebody who can just tell me one sort of bad story about Dwayne Johnson. I can't. Do you? I just want to hear one time he didn't hold the door for me.

He slammed into my face by accident. I need something. He hurt my grandma's feelings. Okay. I'm not trying to be funny. God rest her soul. She was the person who introduced me to wrestling. And she took me to a match in San Juan, Puerto Rico. It was a cage match.

And I said, they get to wrestle in a cage? She goes, yeah, but that's just to keep them safe. They're not going to use it because the fans in Puerto Rico are insane. It was just there to keep the wrestlers away from the fans. So she, I love my grandma very, very much. And my wife did a movie with, with Dwayne that, that nobody saw. It was like eight hours long. And it was an indie film.

I don't even remember the name, bro. They may, I had to watch the whole thing before it was even edited and it was like four and a half hours long and i wanted to jump off a roof and i love my wife i'd lie in court for my wife i'd give her a fake passport and 500 grand and a country with no extradition if she needed it i ain't trying to watch that shit so so anyway i called my grandma and like I always do, cause I was a good grandson and Hey grandma, how are you? And she was not well and she was really upset.

And she was also upset with my wife. And I said, grandma, what's wrong? And she said, you tell Sarah that I don't want to speak to her again. I said, what do you mean? And she goes, she's working with, with Dwayne, with her accent, with Dwayne the Rock Johnson. I said, yeah, they're making, Southland Tales was the name of the movie. I said, yeah, they're making a movie called Southland Tales. And she goes, well, you tell her I'm not speaking to her anymore. I go, okay, well, what's going on? She goes, that son of a bitch

turned his back on the people and he became the corporate champion and I'll never look at him again. That's great. You have to understand I'm sitting there as a grown man speaking to the woman who introduced me to wrestling, who I love very, very much. She's responsible for my love for wrestling. And I'm having to say, and I said these words, I'd say, grandma, you, you and I both know that this,

this isn't real. And she says, we don't have FaceTime or anything like that. So it's not eye to eye. She says before, like right on the end of the sentence, she says, he had a choice. He chose corporate and turned his back on me and hung up the phone. And she died having never spoken to my wife ever the fuck again. You want to hear about what a jerk Dwayne The Rock Johnson is? All right. Wow.

He destroyed. He destroyed the relationship between my wife and my grandma. Destroyed it. Bro. Tell me what a nice guy he is. He dies at the end. Holy shit. That's spectacular. I'm not even exaggerating.

I don't have to exaggerate one second of that story. I'm looking at Southland Tales, by the way. During a three-day heat wave just before a huge Fourth of July celebration, an action star stricken with amnesia meets up with a porn star who is developing her own reality TV project and a policeman who holds the key to a vast conspiracy I'm in on that Freddy, I don't know about you brother

I'm watching that one you didn't press the more button, the description is actually longer than the fucking film it is, it goes on and on and on you're not wrong chapter 14 so he's a terrible guy you mentioned It is. It goes on and on and on. You're wrong. You're not wrong. Chapter 14. But yeah, he's a terrible guy.

You mentioned doing the podcast with Josh. I'm a big fan of Josh. Josh Wolf. Josh Wolf. Kind of a mentor of mine and also. Really? Yeah. Yeah. And also a. I guess I want to say I'm one of Josh's victims because he just sends over absolutely atrocious videos all the time i made him stop doing that i literally we know like because man-to-man coverage i was like look man i'm sick of that nasty shit i don't want to see

it anymore don't send it to me john needs that john needs to have that speech freddie he's made me puke literally at work i just throw up and if you tell him that makes him laugh more and he's like and you get more so you have to have like just a legit combo with him where it's like look man i'll straight up like eliminate you from like i won't text you i will talk to you we had this conversation on a live podcast where i was like genuinely mad at him and he's laughing in my face the whole time the whole like for an hour straight it's a little kid it's telling a little kid that he can't do something he's gonna do it more so he's such a horrible what you what you have to do is be like josh man i love that video of that guy who like took a shit on in that person's mouth man i loved it and then he'll stop the way to get him to stop or you just gotta you

gotta have like the the real moment like look man it's genuinely upsetting me and then after he laughs just keep that straight face on him and don't not fucking kidding unreal man well and so now uh i mean i feel like just in getting to talk to you for the first time it sounds like you you take things very seriously and like work at them and learn them you know what i mean so now like doing doing this podcast thing and like compare that to acting and writing scripts and wrestling and now you're in this world in this realm where i know how it is i mean but but but i don't i've never like worked at it like i that got into it. Yeah. I got in early and use press, press record and go, you know, when you have passion for something and it doesn't feel like work.

Well, as I Mark Twain that said that do something you love, you'll never work a day in your life. Um, but more importantly than that, I think when you have passion for something, you're hungry for knowledge about it. You're an active researcher. With the internet, it's transformed a lot of our brains into passive researchers. We wait for the information to come to us. When something random on our Twitter stream or Instagram stream piques our interest, we engage with that, but we're not actively seeking out

things that we have interest in as much as we used to. So with acting, I had interest in it after some time, you know, I was kind of forced into it by my family early on and then found my love for it when I met Parker Posey and saw how much her life was about this. And that's when I was a young buck, but with it's all or nothing, man. Like I was talking about Ms. Maybe I like that type of personality because it's impressive to me. So I try to emulate it. Cause it's not a natural choice for me. I'm not jumping out of a plane without a parachute. I'm not Johnny Utah.

I'm you know, I'm the guy that like got shot in the stomach and he's like, you know, he's dying near the end. He's like, Oh, we're still going to make it. Are we going to make it? I'm that guy. So I'm like, I'll jump, but the parachute is on the back. So, you know, that those type of people impress me, that type of attitude impresses me. So when I try something new and I haven't, I've been fortunate enough that I haven't had to try many new things because I've been successful with the things I've tried. So when I do try something new, I try to emulate that all in kind of philosophy. So with Josh, he did all the heavy lifting on that. And I really was just there for the ride.

I was Kieran Culkin in the in was that movie The Mighty when he's on Eldon Hanson's shoulders, the whole movie, whatever that was called. And it was a remake. So, you know what i was that i was curious and uh with this you know i i have to do research i go back to like my old journals that i kept when i worked at wwe to make sure i have a few things right and things like that i kept it my wife told me she was like you should keep a journal while you work there and uh so there's a bunch of weird random thoughts and things in there i wish i do research fucking wish i journaled like my time at barstool my whole life because there's always like stories and shit that i'm like i wish i remembered that time or that joke or whatever like there's a way you did like even if freddy didn't keep that

journal i feel like you could go back and read the promos you wrote and like kind of remember what you're doing you can go back and read the blogs like remember where you were at in that living record of it sometimes but sometimes people send me something i'm like man i don't think i wrote that i think that was angelo or i thought i've written something and my buddy texted me he's like you asshole i wrote that i was like oh shit i'm sorry you're right look there when i worked there you know there were there were things you had to do to unwind at the end of the day that eliminate your memory. And I did a lot of that. So I made a few mistakes there.

All right, man. Well, we appreciate the time. The show is WW Freddy, Wrestling with Freddy from iHeartMedia's Cultura Network. So everybody take a look at that. And we appreciate it, man. Looking forward to do it in person one time that would be awesome yeah this pandemic shit is just i know i'm not trying to crap on it like i'm a responsible dude i'm not like anti-science but i'm so sick of this

shit man like fucking sick of it dude i'm so sick of this shit i saw a thing on real sports 15 years ago about a stupid school that took away high fives and and hugs because they didn't think contact was that and i'm watching this like this is the dumbest shit this is the worst school i've ever seen all they're raising a bunch of and now that's literally my life like everybody i'm doing the japanese bow when i meet people like a full-on samurai dude i'm like if they bow again like the, they always give you that extra bow. Like I try to do that to respect the culture. But it's become in my life, man.

It's weird. It's crazy, dude. All right, brother. We'll talk to you. Have a good one. Peace. Peace. Later, bro. សូវាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប� Thank you. Bye.