KFC Radio - Adam22, Natasha Leggero, We're Starting an OnlyFans, and Hot Cousins

Episode Date: August 20, 2020

Subscribe, Rate, Leave a Review, Share Your OnlyFans -Would you be number 8 after the 7 Suns? -We make a plan to start an OnlyFans account -AITA Thursday includes Getting an Erection from your sister and leaving your baby in a car to get snacks at the gas station -Voicemails include the universe, car dick size, and sleepin without a fan (01:04:00) Adam22 of the No Jumper podcast joins the show to talk about going incredibly viral this week. If you missed it, he had Celina Powell on and her friend Aliza on the show and Aliza told a story about how she blew seven players on the Phoenix Suns in a row. We also talk about his porn game, wild podcast moments, and much more. (01:23:50) Natasha Leggero joins the show. We discuss the new Netflix cartoon she's in with Jake Johnson called "Hoops", the things about your significant other you notice because of quarantine, how she's been inspired by the younger generation protesting for what they believe in, and much more. Let us know what you think on Twitter: @KFCRadio @KFCBarstool @FeitsBarstool @Adam22 @NatashaLeggero Follow us on youtube for daily clips and full episodes: https://www.youtube.com/user/KFCradio Download Answer the Internet The App: https://apps.apple.com/us/app/answer-the-internet/id1514656026You can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/kfcr

Hey, KFC Radio listeners, you can find every episode of KFC Radio on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. Sign up, watch me fuck my cousin on OnlyFans. We ain't gonna light it up, we won't come down. And the sun can't stop us now. What's it come to To take it over you It's another edition of KFC Radio

on the Barstool Sports Network. We got a monster episode for you because we're going to dive into this chick who blew all the guys on the suns. And then we got Adam 22 from No Jumper to come on the show and give us an exclusive talking about the fallout from that moment. I mean, that's one of the bigger viral moments

I think in a long time. When I saw that, I was like, that is going to be a fucking story. It was number one on our site still. Really? Yeah, it's been like 48 hours of just at the top constantly. I mean, I haven't heard of a... That's always scary when you're still number one.

Because you're like, what did I do? What did I do? Yeah, yeah. I don't like when my blogs go number one. I'm like, just stay in the three range. Remember when the Zola story went viral? Zola the whore? And it was Zola and her whore friend was my fucking headline. I was like, I'm going to delete this.

Get this off the website. I can't believe I got a whore friend. But I'll tell you what, right now,'m comfortable saying selena and her whore friend yeah selena powell is the so that if you haven't seen the clip which is borderline impossible right now if you listen to podcasts and you're on the internet two girls went on this podcast called no jumper and uh she talked about how on her birthday she blew seven of the phoenix suns devin booker went first and then trey songs peed on her different different occasions wait oh you didn't know that i missed the trey songs part oh yeah see that's how crazy this is when you say on a podcast that a superstar r&b singer pissed on you and that's

that's the after effect secondary yeah so she she said that trey songs listen to this bro trey songs like they fucked and then afterwards she was like in the bathroom i'm assuming like And then afterwards, she was, like, in the bathroom, I'm assuming, like, cleaning up or whatever. And he just, like, barged in the bathroom and, like, unleashed it on her. Like, surprise. Was she on the toilet? I don't know. She didn't go that deep, but she said that this is, like, his move. She alleges that, like, he has a propensity for this and he does it to, like, all the girls he has sex with.

Well, I, like, I'll pee on you in the shower. It's funny. Like, you'll pee on you in the shower. It's funny. Like, pee on your leg. It's just a funny joke. I mean, that's something I used to do in high school. Would you pee on a person sexually? No, I don't think so. If they asked.

If they wanted. If they asked, sure. That's where I'm at. No skin off my ass. I would not do anything beyond that. But if you want me to pee on you, I don't mind. I don't think there's anything I'm at. No skin off my ass. I would not do anything beyond that. But if you want to be P.I., I don't know. I don't think there's anything I would not do. Would you be one of the seven?

Yeah, fuck yeah. You think so? I don't think I would do that. No, I don't give a shit. Really? Yeah. You could just sit there being like, I'm fifth in line. I've got a solid 35 minutes to go.

Was she going in order, or was it like a blowback, or was it like, get in line? The way she referred to it, she said Devin Booker went first. I think that means I sucked his dick to completion, and then I moved on. That's how I pictured it. That's just not the way you should blow seven dicks. What's the most efficient way to suck seven dicks, John? It's fucking all at once like i've seen enough videos and films on pornographic websites to know

like there's other professionals do it yeah they fucking get a bunch of them going yeah they got hands going and mouths going i always love the guys in the back where it's like resting on your shoulder it's like i'm next in line there's not a hand or a hole available, so I'm just going to leave it on your clavicle. I've seen that. I've seen guys like – Just like tapping them on your head. They like to fuck them in the – like slap the foot. Or the one guy who just reaches down and just like squeezing his tit while he's trying to get hard.

Like that to me is always so funny. You're enough of a professional that you're at a blow bang and you're getting your dick hard and you're like i want to squeeze a titty bro you're in seventh grade you know it's insane that's gonna get you hard you're fucking a person with three dicks in them at this moment you gotta pinch your nipple and a nipple is what's gonna get you going like ridiculous i always watch that like grow up yeah unreal man i mean one of the that to me i think not since the vikings like sex boat has there been like a team-wide sex scandal nothing i don't think i've ever heard of anything this like explicit no no i agree with that i wonder how the last couple days has gone for devin booker at the gender the jenner residence oh they're dating again they're back dude he got out of

the bubble and went right to nobu in Malibu with Kendall Jenner. And he's like, I'm fucking tonight. Like the day they got in there, you know, the sons kind of got screwed. They went eight and oh,

in the bubble, but didn't, couldn't make it. Yeah. But he didn't get screwed. Then you should have been better in the regular season. Yes. Agreed.

But I, I, I said that there should have been like a, uh, the commissioner comes in and just says, fuck it. New rule for Corona. There's a play-in

game for the play-in game to reward the team who went eight and oh yeah like laid their dick on the line you know um but i love that he just was like like i was thinking about um you know the the blazers make the the playoffs and like i'm sure he said goodbye to dame and was like yo like good luck like go fucking try to knock off the number one seed Lakers with LeBron. I'm going to go fuck Kendall Jenner. I bet some of the guys on the Blazers were like, thanks, man. I guess I got to fucking keep playing this stupid game. I got to keep doing my job.

But yeah. Because guess what? You don't make more money for the playoffs. I guess actually you do. I never knew that, but there are. Maybe bonuses and incentives and shit. Yeah, there are bonuses. I mean, they're not crazy bonuses.

But a little more. But at that point... It's all based on regular season. I actually wonder that. Do you get paid during the playoffs? Because that was like... You only get paid during the season. Right.

Off-season, you don't get checks. You can't possibly... It probably has to just be negotiated separately as a part of your contract. But I think your base has to be regular season because you might not make the playoffs yeah um i wonder though like you think that kendall jenner is like devin uh want to explain this do you think that he's just like this never fucking happened i'm fucking you're a runway model like royalty you think i'm fucking this like hoe oh i'd fuck that girl definitely but i'm saying i'd be number seven i'd be number eight dude i don't care i want that girl's like my thing could you imagine if you were number eight if it's seven phoenix sons and

then john henry feidelberg he's like what up dev what up book you know i'll see you in 40 minutes I just came back because I heard a commotion a commotion you guys doing it here alright yeah that chick definitely will suck the soul out of your dick no doubt so

let's keep it moving here today's show is brought to you by American Home Shield sure that fits the conversation right now. And I'm going to throw an even bigger curveball involving Stephen Che. I bet you didn't think you'd hear about blow bangs and Stephen Che in the same sentence. No. Yet here we are. So American Home Shield is like insurance for all the shit in your house that you might break,

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If you have an issue with any of the repairs or any of the components, they'll send a contractor back out for free. And like I said, right now you can get $50 off for our listeners when you go to ahs.com slash KFC. So not to spoil anything from the Adam 22 interview, but he did mention that this girl, Eliza, is in the past two days has made tens of thousands of dollars on only fans. And I am officially resentful of only fans. I agree wholeheartedly. I think it's high time we get into the, we've definitely fucking dipped our toe in the water a little bit.

Like we're joking about it and shit. I think it's going to happen. Like at this point, the joke's gone too far that it's going to be like, Oh, well we actually did it. You can sign up yeah like how about this i said so okay let me back up we why i'm resentful is like i i fucking work like a dog putting out dumb content all day i have like 60 podcasts i do these videos i do radio live streams and i make a fraction of what like

and just like an average hoe will make like just like a sort of slutty sort of pretty girl will will like quintuple me up in like a week oh well i i mean i i know girls who are on only fans who make upwards of twenty thousand dollars a a month. They're not ugly people. They're, but they're, no, it's not like they gave up, they decided to pursue OnlyFans instead of becoming, like, famous actresses. Right. It was either this or, like, you know, I work in

PR and make, like, $30,000 a year. I'm gonna make $30,000 a month now. OnlyFans, because no matter what, you have a built-in base because everyone from your hometown is gonna sign up yep like when you find out there was a girl a hot girl from high school any girl from high school i want to see her naked absolutely i want to see i want if i've met you before i want to see you naked 100 i'll watch your sex tape i want to see what you look like and then without and then once

you're signed up you're signed up you're not canceling right i don't know how i can as the rocket said he's like you got to call like call the Prince of Egypt to get out of this. I'm like, do your thing, girls. I honestly think OnlyFans is the great equalizer. You bitches have been complaining about a fucking glass ceiling and a wage gap your whole lives. Just get on OnlyFans. You'll make more money than any guy out there, period. All you've got to do is be moderately attractive. Maybe, again, not even really just be like a little bit slutty a little bit mysterious i know like don't you don't have to

do anything you can take fucking naked pictures just standing in a mirror doing nothing you don't have to be playing with your vagina you don't have to fucking help stuff oh yeah but like i i just i want to see if i met you i want to see you naked. 100%. Any girl from my hometown, I want to see you naked. Any girl I went to high school with, I want to see you naked. Any guy I went to high school with, I'll fucking... I will watch anybody fuck. I watched Dave Portnoy fuck. I hate the guy.

I think he's unspeakably ugly, and I watched him fuck. I'll watch anybody do anything sexual, and I will probably pay for it. Okay, well, then I'm going to get on OnlyFans. We kind of discussed this a little bit today. I mean, we I said to you, like enough fucking around enough joking around, put your money where your mouth is how many people would you need to get?

And we started, or how many people could you get too was the conversation. And we threw out the number of 10,000 subscribers. And I tweeted it out. Let me see what the exact number is right now. I tweeted it out saying, if Feidelberg said, I'm going to get on OnlyFans tonight,

I'm going to whip my dick out, and I'm going to fuck a pineapple, how many subscribers would you get? And I put it to a poll, and it's 58-42. I said over under 10,000, and it's 58% said under 10K. But 42% of my followers is a huge number of people saying that you would get over 10,000 subscribers. It's a big number.

And you specifically picked $7.53 per month as your fucking fee. It's a good hook. It is a good hook. What was that about? What's that extra three cents for? That 53 cents is what you're paying for. That's a good hook, and me only having sex with inanimate objects is a funny hook. We were going to call it fights fucks.

And it's like fights fucks fill in the blank. Fights fucks a pineapple. Fights fucks a watermelon. Fights fucks a chair like Roan. Just fill in the blank. You wouldn't want to watch me fuck that pillow thing? Like, you'd watch me fuck this. It's like a squishy.

I'd watch me fuck this. I mean, I will fuck this. This is coming home too. Like, you'd watch me fuck this. It's like a squishy. I'd watch me fuck this. I mean, I will fuck this. This is coming home with me tonight to fuck. It's nice and soft. I will, and if I got enough subscribers, I will get fucked by fruits. I don't care. Fights Fucks will have a second page called Fights Get Fucked. I'll fucking shove strawberries up my ass and go Lana Rhodes.

I don't give a shit. If John recreated the infamous Lana Rhodes strawberries in the bathtub, rubber duckies in the bathtub, I would pay top dollar for that. Dude. A side by side.

Imagine me just in a fucking tub of milk just fucking pooping out fucking rubber duckies. Yes, I am imagining that. I am now imagining that. And you know what? I would pay $7.53 to watch it. I mean, that would be right.

If you got to 10,000, bam, $75,300 per month, yours. How much? $75,300. 10,000 people times $7.53. Oh, my God. It would be 75-3 every month. Am I allowed contractually to be on OnlyFans? That's what I'm saying.

I mean, here's the thing. I think this is the golden age because right now, if you do it, let's be honest, it's like 99% girls. But like that girl Caroline Calloway did it who used to be. Oh, yeah. I want to see her naked. Oh, yeah. Top pin. It's just she got some long nipples on her.

Yeah. But she's fully nude. You can kind of see like, you know, like the bump on on your pussy like the pussy bone where you can't really see oh yeah yeah she does that thing but she used to be just like a blogger and then she kind of got outed and as having a ghost writer if you remember the story it was like a big scandal because all these people followed her and then they learned that she wasn't really writing her own stuff and then just out of nowhere recently she drops a nude and says subscribe to my only fans and i've heard that she's making a fucking killing because again anybody with any sort of following let alone a big one like her is gonna make bank

you see it uh yeah i saw it i'm looking for more now yeah uh but here's the thing i think that when you do it right now like yes jules was another instagram girl who went on and she just made the switch and she made like 180 grand in like three months. And I think if you do it now, I think you get the, as long as you're not like Eliza, like a fucking whore. I think that if you were like an average girl who did it now, it would be like under the umbrella of like empowerment. And like you're making your money. And I think if you're like Johnny come lately and you do it like a couple years from now, it's going to be like you're just a fucking hoe. You know? Now's the time to do it, girls. I fully, I'm resentful of it. But now's the time to do it like a couple years from now it's gonna be like you're just a fucking hoe you know now's the time to do it girls i fully i'm resentful of it but now's the time to do it because

in a couple years everyone is gonna have it because you're listen think about it you're already posting like basically your ass on instagram like average girls now everybody's like rocking a thong taking a picture whatever it's like you're gonna go a little bit further eventually right put a behind a paywall put a behind a paywall i i think it's a no-brainer and i think that i would i would look at i want to i it's just a financial situation for me but i would subscribe to every single only fans there is i want to see the whole world naked it's the perfect like it's it is it's it's actually like a psychological thing where it's like the way society is we're just like there's you're buttoned up and it's shameful and you have to hide it

and it's just like you feel like you got some special shit. It's like, wait a minute, I get nothing. And I was thinking like... When I tweet the podcast link, girls, if you got an OnlyFans, send it in the replies, I'll subscribe. I'll double it. I too promise I will subscribe to your OnlyFans.

If you have an OnlyFans. I really will. And if you're too shy to tweet it publicly, which really wouldn't make sense if you're on OnlyFans, but you can DM it too. If you get that to me privately, I will fucking. You can DM it to Kevin and he'll send it to you. The other girl from No Jumper, Selena Powell, has OnlyFans. $29.95 per month. Jesus Christ.

So you think about her getting a $10,000. You're going to be shoving bananas up your ass. Dude, I mean, if she's getting, I'm sure she is. I'm sure she's putting pineapples up there. I mean, $29.95, if she gets 10,000 subscribers, we're talking about a catastrophic amount of money. Like, economy ruining money. Like, Selena Powell is walking around like,

fuck you, pores. You know? Holy. Wait. I stink at math. Would she be making $200,000 a month? Let's call it $30 times $10,000 would be $300,000 a month. Get the fuck off.

Devin Booker doesn't make that. Yeah, that's what I mean. Like, you could be a Hollywood celebrity and Selena Powell's going to be like, get off me, poor. You know, like, you could have a standing reservation at, again, Nobu and Malibu, right? Devin Booker and Kendall Jenner are there. Selena Powell can show up and be like, I want that table. Yeah. Like, I got more money than Kendall somehow.

It's fucking insane. It's throwing off the balance of the world. And while I resent it. So much money. Go for it. Fucking just do it, girls. And we will subscribe to all of them. How about this? So I posed the balance of the world. And while I resent it, go for it. Fucking just do it, girls. And we will subscribe to all of them. How about this?

So I posed the same question to Rocket. I said, how many subscribers would it take for you or how much money would it take for you to actually do this? He said $10,000. I was like, I'm thinking like that's be a thousand people. I'll cut him a check right now. I said, you could get that. He goes, you think I could get that? I was like, I think you that's going to be 1,000 people. Oh, I'll cut him a check right now. I said, you could get that. He goes, you think I could get that? I was like, I think you could get that in five minutes.

Yeah. I was like, think about all your weird Section 10 cult member hoes. Think about all your haters who are just curious. Think about the weirdos like us who are just like, I'll take a look at the rocket's dick. I was like, if you really, if you, like Zah was flabbergasted behind the glass. I was like, if you think that you would. Oh, well, Zah has a completely different fucking thought process on this. That look on all of it.

I mean, what was Zah's... What was his number? 500 grand to fuck a porn star? Yeah, that was wild. And, like, he wouldn't fuck her ass or whatever? Like... I think he said, like, 100 grand to fuck her. Like, 500 grand on camera.

It was crazy numbers. But even he was like, dude, you can get... You can get... Like, we'll get this done in... I was like, if you really don't believe that you can get a thousand people as a barstool blogger and if you say you're gonna do some weird sexual shit at a given time you'll get that in a fucking hour yeah i mean again don't sell yourself short rocket i gotta be the rocket's pimp apparently i mean 10 000 subscribers 10 000

is such a low number which is crazy because that's i mean that's what we're talking about it if you but prior to this if you told me there was a way to just like snap your fingers and make 10 grand a month i'd be like all right like tell me about it now it's like yeah of course you can make 10 it's only fans that's what i'm saying you're gonna feel stupid if you're hot and already a little bit like risque or a little bit like you don't really care and i here's the thing about only fans it's like a beautiful little ecosystem i don't think anybody leaks your shit because it's like i'm paying for it i'm not going to show it to you yeah you have to pay for it it's kind of like a little unspoken thing like especially the weirdos who think that they're like you know there's a connection or some shit

like i don't want to do that to you yeah i mean what I mean? Those are the people you can really exploit. Oh, big time. Which I'll tell you the funniest story. The funniest story about OnlyFans DMs is brought to you by Crossrope. Back on it with Crossrope. Fights was in shape, was in shape when he was using Crossrope. Yeah. I mean, never a more proven product.

Crossrope showed up at John's house. He stuck to it for, like like i think it was at least like 21 days and then i think you just kept going with it right oh yeah i did i did like three months right and uh you were like jacked and trim and chiseled and then you stopped and then i stopped and now and like here's the thing about crossrope you got to use it you do have to use it but if you do use it it's like honestly It's really fun. I enjoy jumping rope. I'm actually quite good at it. But it's also like it gives you other things to break up. It's like a full body cardio thing.

When I work out, I can't just work out like an old-fashioned style. I need a little excitement, a little twist to it. And it's like, okay, first of all, it feels like someone's yelling at you, which helps me to work out. And then it's like, okay, now do push-ups and there's a little change i couldn't just jump rope for a half hour straight right couldn't do that but that that to me is the other thing it's like i love when they say do this for just like 30 minutes yeah i think about like how many hours a day yeah like how many hours in a day how much you know how quickly does 20 minutes go in although it is funny when at the same time I hear that,

I'm like, all right, what if I do like a 20 minute podcast segment on the podcast? I wouldn't even like blink. Yeah. But if I have to do cardio straight for 20 minutes, I'm dead. But it is,

that's all it does take. If you can, it's also the, literally the number one fat burner in the world, right? Like jumping rope, it's jumping rope and full body resistance training, which is like the two things that you're going to get a full workout the ropes come with different uh weights so you can do like

heavy rope or you know uh you can do quick like light rope so whatever your limit is whatever your style is uh you'll get in good shape all from just doing like an old school playground recess game like you don't know when the next time you're gonna be allowed to even go to a fucking gym is so you know everybody got their hopes up here in new york because uh uh meatball cuomo said we can open up gyms and then that motherfucker de blasio comes in and says no no no not in new york and at this point i think he has to be trying to get people to hate him yeah because i mean and you know what's real funny all of a sudden jC. Smith is a political pundit. We have to open the gyms.

This is crazy. She's like, I haven't thought about this at all, but now you're fucking with the gym and now we got problems. But you can get – forget about it. I woke up this morning. She had been texting my girlfriend being like, I'm going to go murder the mayor. She's talking like assassination. She was like the Joker all of a sudden. But if you want to avoid any of that problems, you're not if gyms aren't open near you

you can do your workout at home with crossrope go to crossrope.com slash kfc that's crossrope.com slash kfc you can get 40 bucks off your crossrope sets plus free shipping so funny enough we were like kind of tangentially at the forefront of only fans only fans really became what it is because of asa akira i think only fans originally was supposed to be like patreon just like it's a paywall that's all that's all only fans is just here's a way to put something behind a paywall and i think they thought of it as like you're gonna play your music you're gonna put a podcast and all this shit and then also kieran got a hold of it yeah and she was like i'm gonna fuck myself on this and also like from jump street was making like 50k a month that's why when like things like separated with barstool like she told me just fine i can't imagine what that number's at now

no hundred thousand hundred fifty thousand like oh my god i mean ten ten dollars a month i'm sure she has other ones that are like $50 a month. She's going to be making millions. We are so poor compared to our contemporaries. So poor. You'll see. I hope you watch the YouTube. There's a moment with Adam 22 where he talks about some of the money he's been making on just one of his endeavors.

And I don't know about you, but if you look at my face, it was definitely like, fuck. We are such suckers. I mean, he said millions. Millions. I've made millions. And we've got a pretty fucking big platform and we've got a pretty big following. He was pumped to come on with us and he's making millions. When these people find out that we're not rich, when Chris DeStefano

found out how not rich I am, he's like, bro. Bro. I was like, fuck! Fuck! I should have just rode the Asa train i should have just been like let me be your manager yeah so asa was the one who like really blew up only fans and probably turned it towards porn and part of what a lot of these porn stars do is not only will you see videos but you can dm with me a lot of them say send me your dick and i'll rate it and i'll talk to you about your dick, since that's a big

kink of people to send it around. I might send it to Asa right now. Should we just send Asa dick pics? She's so awesome, she would just be like, or she'd be like, deece. Like, five out of ten. That's about the response I usually get. Yeah, pretty much.

I mean, I'd fuck it. But because, you know, she had fucking 5,000 dudes signing up. She's getting a lot of DMs and a lot of dick pics. And so she needed an intern, basically. Someone to go through this for her. And who better than Glenard Balls? Glenith was tapped as the one to go through the DMs and respond to the dick pics.

And Asa broke him off like two grand a month. Which at the time, I mean, Glennie has been here a couple more years now. He's probably got like a steady salary. At that point, he was probably either still an intern or just getting his first paychecks. So for like a 21-year-old Glennie Ball type of Glennie Balls to be getting $2,000 a month to just sit there. But I'm just the funniest. I'd do that right now for now for two thousand dollars a month i'll do that for way less again i'll just look at anybody naked i'll do it for free uh but the thought of glenny just sitting there in like a hawaiian shirt with a mets hat on or like a beater like a tank top

just being like great dick hey that's a really nice i'd love to suck that dick, dude. I would love to know how much he got into it. Ooh, that one would hit the thing that dangled in the back of my throat. Right, like if he was playing like Asa, you know what I mean? Like, put that in my award-winning asshole. One of the fucking best, one of the best gems of all time, Glennard Balls, being Asa Akira's dick pick intern on OnlyFans is honestly one of the greatest tales of all time. It's so fucking good.

It's so fucking good. And I mean, when the scrubs associated with Instagram, with OnlyFans, are making more money than us. God fucking damn it. So here's what I think I'm gonna do. Because I'm not really ready to fuck a pineapple

the way you are well oh no here's what i am but i'm not here's what here's here's what we decided to do we're gonna launch a joint only fan yes where all you can see is pretty much our dick and the inanimate object that we're fucking. No other distinguishing features. You can't see the legs, the body, the stomach, because you would know what his body looks like versus my body, so you can tune in to our OnlyFans, watch a dick fuck a fruit, and you just don't know whether it's Fidelberg or KFC. And we'll keep it a guessing game.

It's like the doctors who administer lethal injection, where there are four different buttons they all push So like no one knows who actually killed someone The old school firing squad Only one person had a bullet Oh right right right Same shit Where it's like nobody wants

Nobody wants the blame or to know It'll just be our dicks I have to imagine our dicks are pretty similar I would get Just like pretty decent dicks Pretty Pretty Pretty decent dicks

Pretty normal dicks Would be pretty funny though if it was like One of us was decidedly better at fucking fruit than the other. Like our fans would log in and be like, ugh, it's the A dick instead of the B dick. I prefer dick number two. So that way, none of the shame, all of the money. And every time it comes up, like, ah, it's just Fidelberg's dick. No, that was just KFC.

I've never, not me. We have perfect deniability. I mean, this is a foolproof plan. You know what I might do? I might just start an OnlyFans and not tell people what it's going to be. If I just tweet it out right now, here is my OnlyFans. I'll do like $4.99. I'll just do a cheap one.

It might be podcast content. It might be One Minute Man. It might just be me jerking off. I don't know. You find out. How many people do you think I can get to sign up with really no description of what it's going to be? I think less than if you're like, I'm going to be naked. Which is so wrong.

The thought that it might be some of the content that I'm kind of good at versus me being naked. That's the lesser of the choices is fucking insanity. But I'm just tired of being broke, man man i'm tired of being a broke boy millions he said and that his girl makes more that's i mean i'm telling you it's it is the great equalizer if you are a feminist you're not a feminist unless you're on only fans you want to make money you You want to harness the power of your own pussy? You want to be a boss and in control and an entrepreneur? That's OnlyFans. And if you don't do it, you're a fucking,

you're part of the problem. What's the opposite of a feminist? You're a misogynist. If you're not showing your pussy on OnlyFans, you're a misogynist. I concur. It's a fucking wild world we live in. I agree with that.

Let's do, am I the asshole? Yeah. All right, let's get into Am I the Asshole? It's brought to wild world we live in. I agree with that. Let's do... Am I the asshole? Yeah. All right, let's get into Am I the Asshole? It's brought to you by Daddy. So, oh. I mean, fuck it. My first OnlyFans video will be me jerking off into the Daddy kit. Two birds, one stone.

I can freeze my sperm, and I can start making money on OnlyFans. This is where they always say, please be mature about the topic i'm being very oh big missed opportunity uh infertility is a problem as we get older uh uh unwanted pregnancies can be an issue uh there's a lot of reasons to freeze your sperm and have it kind of stored away. Me personally, I don't have – I definitely don't have infertility problems. I have fertility problems. I have fertility problems. I'm too fertile, and that's why I got to get snipped. But I don't know. I never want to say never.

So I want to have my semen stored away in case – in case, I don't know. I lose my fucking mind and have another kid. But I've been talking about it for a while and i wanted to get mine tested i just want to know right you can do that too you can find out your sperm count you can find out your fertility you can store it for if you're getting older you can store it if you want to have a vasectomy there's a lot of reasons to do it and i'll be honest i'm never gonna like go to a sperm bank and like sit there in the waiting room looking eye to eye with some other dude before i go jerk off in a bathroom but what i will do is like listen i'm gonna do this two to three times a day i might as well put some in this little jar and send it

back to you and uh that's when you get the service that daddy provides an at-home collection kit with a lab tested fertility report and a year of sperm storage all for just 199 bucks and right now for a special limited time offer for the barcelona community you get 50 bucks off your first purchase when you go to daddy kit d-a-d-i kit.com and use the promo code kfc50 during checkout that's daddy d-a-d-a-d-i kit.com promo code kfc50 during checkout and get 50 bucks off your at-home fertility kit. I'll tell you right now, today's lead-off for Am I the Asshole is a motherfucking doozy. My sister, 18, female, wore a string thong to the pool and I, 24 year old male, the brother, unconsciously got a boner which I couldn't get down for a while.

Fuck my life. I feel like a creep. Would it be appropriate to tell her to wear a less revealing attire next time? We were out at an apartment complex pool and there were only us, our younger brother, and a couple at the other end of the pool because of occupancy restrictions. It caught me by surprise when she removed her clothes. She was basically wearing nothing on the bottom, LOL, not to be approved. I think it is inappropriate to ask your sister to wear more clothes. I think you just have to not be a fucking weirdo.

I would. I'm not kidding you i would kill myself if i if i got a raging apparently uncontrollable boner from my 18 year old sister i would legitimately you would find me hanging in the closet the next day probably with the same boner from the day before. I mean, that is, you cannot come back from that. But in his defense, weird move from the sister as well. What? To wear a bikini?

To wear like a string thong with your brother is a little weird. I mean, I know like, I've never really felt, one of the times I really feel oldest right now is like, I mean, bathing suits these days are fire. Yeah, yeah. Like, you just go to the beach, you go to the pool, you're going to see some shit. I'm like, it wasn't like this for me when i was growing up so i get it but if it's like you your brother and then your younger brother i think it's a little weird for the sister to just be like cheeks out yeah that's true so she's a little bit to blame like 0.01 because you should be able to basically control your boner with your sister at all fucking times. That is... Suicide is your only option. You have to kill it.

You have to chop your dick off so that it never happens again. Either chop your head off or your dick off. For the rest of your life, you'll look at your sister and be like, I got a boner. I got a boner. Cousin? Whatever. We could work with her. Who hasn't wanted to fuck her? If you've never thought about your own cousin sexually, you're a prude or you're a liar.

That's just a fact. I had a hot cousin. Have a hot cousin. I thought about fucking her. Is she listening? I hope not. Have a hot cousin. Had a hot cousin.

Thought about fucking her. Like, everyone has a hot cousin that you thought I was sleeping with. There's no... You have to. I mean... If you're not... If that hasn't happened, you are legit a prude. But I draw the line of cousin. Siblings?

No, no, no. Siblings, you can't do. No interest. Not at all. But the hot cousin... That's fair fuckin' game. I'll be honest. You could probably persuade me to actually do it.

On OnlyFans! Sign up! Watch me fuck my cousin on only fans 59.99 a month you're paying for that shit kfc incest you're fucking paying uh but but this one i mean this is this is insane i mean i probably would be like estranged from my sister at least for a while after this oh i'd never talk to her again because i wouldn't be able to get that out of my head right i'd be like i can't believe. And then you'd probably get more boners.

I would literally, I don't know if I'd kill myself. Because I'm kind of all talk with that. I'm a little scared. We're definitely such pussies. We're way too pussies. But I would definitely not talk to her. You know what it is? You would keep getting, you know what it's like?

Don't think about an elephant. You're thinking about an elephant. Yeah. It's like, don't think about the boner. You're thinking about getting the time. You're thinking about their ass again. You're thinking about why you got the's like don't think about the boner you're thinking about getting the time you're thinking about their ass again you're thinking about why you got the boner you're gonna keep having boners and also though like you know by the time you're 24 by the time you're like fucking 12 you know how to hide one yeah you

know you do the waistband flip you got a towel at the pool i'm just picturing this guy walking around with like you know a fucking tent pitch like a like a fucking triangle sticking out you know what I mean? Like that, that's unacceptable. I learned how to hide my boner when I was about four. Seriously. Figure it the fuck out. It's easy.

Do you think she saw it and was like, oh, my God, I just gave my brother a boner? Because then guess what? They both got to kill themselves. Yeah, in that case, I would kill myself. But it's really, and this could be a size issue, it's really easy to hide a bone. Really. Although I will say, the bathing suit's an issue because you usually have no underwear on, and then your dick just kind of looks like the cover of Jaws.

You know what I mean? It's popping up out of your waistband the way that the shark is coming up to eat the girl. You don't have to get up. No, yeah, yeah. You just lay down. If you don't have a shirt on, and you do the waistband tuck, and you don't have to get up. Yeah. Lay down. If you don't have a shirt on and you do the waistband tuck and you don't have underwear on, your dickhead's popping out of the top. Then put a shirt on. Put a blanket on.

Put a towel over you. Whatever you've got. Just lay on your stomach until it goes away. Just have one leg up. Dive head first into the fucking concrete until it's broken and gone. Do whatever you've got to do to not have a boner in front of your sister my trick is I put it just down one leg you put it down?

and then I just keep that leg up for a bit that doesn't show through your shorts? you don't get like a like you wear some tight shorts I guess I don't do it a lot but I mean I've successfully done it a lot, but I mean. I've successfully done it in this office.

That's for sure. More power too. This is like when I learned about the different ways to try to suck your own dick. Like I had never considered that as an option. Yeah. My dick doesn't, you know what? My dick doesn't really bend down that well. But it's not going down because I bring the leg up.

Oh, okay. So I'm thinking of it going down. Like you ever have a girl, she's like either reverse or facing you on top, and she leans all the way forward, and your dick's like pointing at you? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, I've thought it's going to snap off.

There are times where it's like, we are well past the breaking point. Like, we're beyond 180 degrees here. This is a problem. All right, I'll give that a whirl. It works. It's pretty successful. I still believe my way to try to suck a dick

is better. We had this discussion on the ride up to your house for your birthday, and the girls were asking which way, and that made me feel a little bit better. Because at least it was on their brain that it could go the other direction. I had never considered it. Most people didn't, but the girls were like, did you

throw your legs over your head, or did you bend over? I was like, I bent over! Yes! Thank you! Thank you! I saw a funny tweet. I can't but the girls were like did you throw your legs over your head or did you bend over i was like i bent over yes thank you thank you i saw a funny tweet i can't remember the guy's name but uh he tweeted like um people asked me like if i could suck my own dick would i well yeah i've been jerking it off for about 14 years so i think i would give it a whirl great fucking great the way that was another that was another m.i. the asshole what um did i favorite it oh fuck i don't think i favorited it but i mean i can just tell you the basics fuck i wish i favorited it so i got all the details can't find it but i but there was this couple um and they said the description was like we're like in an open relationship we're polyamorous like they're

pretty kinky um but this guy and this might be one of those ones that's written and faked because this sounds crazy but he said that he he has been working towards the ability to blow himself like for many years now and he has achieved it. And it's something he does to himself. And his girlfriend walked in on him doing it and is outraged. She's like, this is you're fucking depraved. You're disgusting. What are you doing?

And he's like, am I the asshole for like sucking my own dick? Is my girlfriend in the right for being wrong? I mean, if you if you achieve that goal, you earned it. Yeah. And what you do, if it was just like you did it in front of her you achieve that goal, you earned it. And what you do, if it was just like you did it in front of her and you knew she didn't like it, it's one thing, but she walked in on you.

It's like walking in, you know, if you walked in on me jerking off, it's not really like anybody's fault. It's just a mishap. It just happened to be in my mouth. It's not in my hand. This is a wild episode. I mean, this is off the fucking record.

I have said so many things that I regret. We're not even like halfway. This is off the fucking reservation. I have said so many things that I regret. We're not even like halfway. This is nuts. But the, like, does she get mad at him when he jerks off? That's what I mean. Like, there really is, you know, no difference. Well, there's a humongous difference. There's a huge difference.

If you're fucking your own face. There's a humongous difference. It is a grand canyon size difference on the gay scale you're gay bro stroking my dick until I cum like all over my hand I'm out of control this episode

until I cum all over my hands or my own belly like YP you're giving yourself a cum shot that's pretty gay but we're okay with that but I can't put the tip in I mean the thing that people don't put the tip in. I mean. The thing that people don't think. The thing that people don't really think through with the blowing yourself is, like, it takes a long time to blow yourself to completion.

Yeah. Oh. It's one thing to be able to, like, I can bend over or roll my head back one time and, like, touch it with my tongue versus, like, I'm going to bob my head on my own dick for, like, 70 minutes. There's no chance I can take my tongue. No. I mean, you can't. I mean, well, there's no chance you'll ever be able to achieve anything even remotely close to this. You're the most inflexible

person ever. Correct. But you don't even come from girls blowing you, let alone yourself. I'm getting like nauseous just thinking about it. Like, it would be, because I can feel it in my throat. It would be awful. You'd give the worst head to yourself. I would give the worst head to yourself.

I would give the worst head in the history of the world. To yourself. To myself, yeah. You think you could give good heads to somebody else, though? No, no, because I'm getting nauseous again just thinking about it right now. Your gag reflex is terrible. It's awful. You would give whatever the opposite of deep throat is.

You're that. I can't put it by pinky in my mouth, bro. It's like hard for me to fucking eat and get food in my throat, let alone someone's hard dick. Whitney Cummings was saying on her podcast that every time she brushes her teeth, she's like, ah, ah, ah. So she was talking very, very candidly for Whitney. Even on this clip, she was like, I can't believe I'm talking about this. So me and Whitney are having very similar episodes this week. But she was talking about how she thought that the way you're supposed to blow guys is by like gagging

on their dick which by the way I agree with I think that is the way and she said that the guy she was hooking up with I don't know if it's current recent long time ago whatever like stopped her and was like what are you doing and she was like uh you know like I got like tears streaming on my face because that's like what you're supposed to do. And as she says, the guy goes, it doesn't really turn me on to watch women hurting themselves. Like, fuck off. Fuck you. That's got to be the most white knight lie of all time, right? Who's turning that down in the moment?

I would definitely not. I thought you were. No. Don't you leave me out to dry, you motherfucker. No, dude. You're allowed to. I mean, you could just straight up throw up on my penis. A thousand percent.

That's like, I'll be honest, that's on my bucket list. I would love a girl to throw up on my dick. Darren is fucking show off. This is absolutely my worst episode in years. This is one, if I was still married, would be a problem. And it probably is going to be a bigger problem because I'm divorced. Christ, someone save me from myself. Let me do one more Am I the Asshole, then we'll get into our voicemails where God fucking knows what I'm going to say.

But this is one of what I believe to be the most one-sided Am I the Asshole of all time. More so than the fucking Brother Boner. Am I the Asshole for admitting I'm pissed at my husband for getting arrested? most one-sided am i the asshole of all time more so than the fucking brother boner am i an ass am i the asshole for admitting i'm pissed at my husband for getting arrested last week my husband got arrested for endangering the welfare of our child our child our six-month-old son little dude they're gonna call him ld for the rest of this post ld doesn't sleep well when he does sleep we start to tend we stop living so he gets a good sleep last monday when i was at work and my husband was home with ld he decided to run to the gas station for a snack on the way ld fell asleep my husband oh

you know what i'm turning on this too my husband waited for a minute at the gas station but ld didn't wake up so my husband left the car locked with ld inside he ended up taking 20 minutes in the gas station due to many customers when he came out the police were holding ld and our car window had been broken. He was arrested for the aforementioned crime and child services took LD. I was called at work and had to firstly go and collect LD, then bail my husband out of jail.

He wasn't even remotely sorry about anything. I told him what he had done was absolutely stupid. I did not call him stupid. I said his actions were stupid. I love the semantics game. I asked him how he could have done this. We've heard about babies dying in cars. We're now being reviewed by CPS and on the local news they called him and she said

I'm glad my son and husband are okay but frankly I'm very upset with my husband for being so reckless with our child and I hope in time I can forgive him. LD was fine the AC was running but it was a hot day, 94 degrees and sunny and my husband is pissed that I didn't publicly defend him. So am I the asshole? Now, I mean, yes. No. Yes.

No. I can't believe you think this is one-sided. Well, I didn't read the context clues about the baby not being a good sleeper. That I do kind of believe. If you're in the thick of it six months in, when you're at that stage and your baby's not sleeping, I don't do anything to disrupt the sleep. That's why. But see, he's still the asshole for going to the gas station.

Why? He fell asleep on the way. That's right. He fell asleep in the car. So at that point, what you got to do is you got to unhook the car seat and just carry that in with you, and they stay asleep in the car seat. Yeah, that's how. You cannot leave a baby in a car, John. Convenience stores.

Look, he did not. 20 minutes in a car. 20 car, John. Convenience stores. Look, he did not. 20 minutes in a car. 20 minutes is a long time. By the way, I'm not convinced. The car was running. That's not the full story. The car was running. That dude did not go to the grass station for 20 minutes.

He was like buying drugs or fucking some girl or something. That's probably true. Because 20 minutes. Yes, it's just don't take 20 minutes. Yeah. How many customers could you possibly have? So there's more to this story. But the car running is a huge thing.

Oh, yeah. You know what else the car running means, John? Someone else can just drive away with your baby. The car was locked. How'd he get in then? What do you mean? Doesn't the key have to be in the car? No.

To leave it running? Not anymore, I don't think. You can take the fob out and it'll stay running? I think so. I mean, I hope that was going on. What if the car, what the fuck, what if you had an old school key or the fob's just sitting there and someone could just hop in the whip and drive away with your baby? Yeah, I guess that makes

sense. But they did say locked. They did say running and locked. Alright, point that guy. But the, like, as someone who has occasionally left their dog in the car, it's the most nerve-wracking experience in my life. Like, I'll run in for like 45 seconds again. And you're panicked,

right? I'm so stressed out the whole time. 20 minutes in that much time. Wait, you just contradicted yourself. What? You said it's the most panicking. I am, but that's why I'm saying, look, even 20 minutes isn't that bad. I feel for the panic he had setting in, but like...

I mean, I'll drive, I'll leave my apartment, get my kids in the car, and then I'm like, fuck, I forgot one thing, and I have to run back upstairs, and I sprint because I'm convinced. You don't want people to fucking see it and think you're a bad person. It's not because you're actually... No, but I actually do have an irrational fear of like, I don't know, I'm going to come down

and the windows are going to be broken and the kids are going to be gone. Really? Yeah, crazy. I mean, I don't think it's that crazy. It does make sense. Crazy take, I don't want my kids to be kidnapped that's why ultimately this guy's the asshole but i will i mean when you are in the throes of no sleep and you're crazy and you have a moment where that's peaceful i mean i'll leave the fucking baby in the middle of the goddamn war zone. Whatever. So I understand it.

And then, you know what? You guys are the asshole for going on the local news. You know? Yeah. No comment. It is kind of fucked up that you, like, publicly roasted him. But, like, you shouldn't have even been in that position to be like, fuck my husband. So everybody's the asshole.

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Advertised by Screwball Spirits LLC, San Marcos, California. Whiskey with natural flavors and caramel color, 35% alcohol by value. Ooh. Voicemails. What do we got, Nicky? Not really a question, but just a task for you which is pretty easy because it's just fucking google and shit but I think it's gonna blow your mind

so take out your phone and your computer and just google how old is the universe and then after that google how big is the universe and what the conspiracy theories. So how old is it and then how big is it?

Yeah. So I Googled it. It says it's 13.8 billion years old. How big is the universe? Isn't it just infinite? What did you say the answer was? 13.8 billion? Right.

And then how big is it? It's 93 billion light years. I think I'm a little too dumb for this. I guess what he's saying is it's too big. It's got to be older than it is if it's 93 billion light years. Buried! There's a goal. Power play goal tied up at one. I don't quite understand. I don't understand what he play goal. Tied up at one.

I don't quite understand. I don't understand what he's talking about. I don't get it. Light Years fucks with me. Light Years is like how far you could travel going at the speed of light for a year. Is that what Light Years are? Yeah. So you're going like 186 million or 1, thousand miles per second is what the speed of light is.

Let me see that real quick. I don't understand anything you're saying. Okay. I'll tell you. I'll tell you. I'll tell you. I'll tell you. I get it now.

I figured it out. Okay. So the speed of light is 186,000 miles per second. Okay. One light year would be if you travel at 186,000 miles per second for 365 days. Okay. So why do we have that unit of measurement? You know, it's like black holes and like space and shit, because that's how like sun is traveling.

It seems like it's just a completely impossible feat. Well, it's like. It's just how fast light travels. Yeah. So you flip the lights on. The lights are there. It's 186, 000 miles in a second but if you traveled at 186 000 miles for one second for 93 for 13.8 million lost me okay listen no you listen i can get this i can get you to understand this i think it says that

it's 13.8 billion years old if you traveled at the speed of light for 13.8 billion years it would be far more than 93 million light years i think right does that make sense nick yeah but i think that's what that guy's thinking but we're not traveling at the speed of light so of course we're not but this that bit right so i get oh so yeah so the universe is not expanding at light years. Yeah. No, it's not expanding at light years. Yeah. The universe is probably just like slowly fucking just meandering, like getting a little, it's like, you're just like kind of like in the pool, just like wading your way through. Yeah.

This guy broke my brain. I don't know what you guys are talking about. Like, I mean, I don't understand what you guys are saying. Next voice. I mean, I want to know, like that guy's got to tell me what he meant what would the conspiracy theory start what do you i i don't know yeah i can't even i tried i tried my best i still don't i can't i don't get it hey what up y'all quick question so what do you think the relation is between your car and the size of your dick and i asked this question

because recently matched this girl on Tinder, Garry Snap. So one of the first things she asked me for, she's like, let me see a picture of your cock. Let me see a picture of your car. And I was like, whoa, pretty straightforward. But yeah, sure, I got you. And then I'm thinking, and I'm like,

well, you should be able to tell one of those based off the other. That is a fun response, if you're going to play this game. So you're explaining that to her? She's like, yeah, sure, you should be able to tell one of those based off the other. That is a fun response if you're going to play this game. Are you playing that to her? She's like, yeah, sure. Like if a girl's like, show me your dick and show me your car, I think I'd be like, I'll show you my car. You tell me what my dick looks like. That is to play the game back.

You know what I mean? Yeah. Because I get it. You know, the whole thing is always like if you have a fucking Hummer or a flashy car, you're a compensator. And I think stereotypes usually exist for a reason. That must have been like a, I think of that as like a movie trope. But I'm sure at one point it was real. I'm sure there were like old guys who were like, all right, I'm not packing, so I'll

just fucking buy luxury cars. Yeah. I would, I think that definitely, it definitely is a trope, but like. It probably happened at some point. Yeah. That's why I'm going to get the minivan. That's because you got a big dick. Well, but it probably happens at some point. That's why I'm going to get the minivan. Because you got a big dick? Well, they're going to think I do. If I'm rolling in a fucking gray minivan, they'll be like, that guy must have a fucking hammer on him.

If your dick was a car, what car? Ooh, great question. Only to be surpassed by if your dick was an NFL player. Remember that one? Classic. If your dick was a, I think it was an NFL quarterback. If your dick was a car, what would it be? I got to give that some thought.

Do you have one on the top of your head? Kinda. I have a couple. I have a couple. Give me one of them. I got one. One would be the Toyotaota camry just like basic sedan yeah yeah just like just average as it comes like think about it yeah i think the

toyota is like the most popular car the toyota camry or corolla there's like a hundred million of them in the u.s it's like you probably got a dick like a lot of other guys out there yeah or or an f-150 why is that it's like a little bigger than normal, but it's not. It's not a fucking 350. Better not be. I'll be so mad if you had a 350. That would really be devastating. That would stink.

My dick, I will say, throw it back uh mine is the ford pinto do you know the history of the pinto i don't know i don't uh the pinto was a very popular car that a bunch of people had uh until they were like kind of unreliable and unexpectedly would just blow up so i had like an average one that every now and then would betray me and just explode too early. That's my dick, the Ford Pinto. What's a... Actually, even better, because you know what I think happened? I think if you hit it from behind, it blew up.

Got a Pinto. I'm also like... But I also could be like a Porsche. Because I like... How could you? I got a lot of get up and go. Yeah? I fucking –

You were telling me about some numbers recently that seemed staggering. My dick gets used a lot. A lot. John gets R-worded like a lot. I mean you hit me with numbers that I actually – for like the first time I was like, he's lying to me. I questioned. I questioned you.

I knocked one off. It lying to me. I questioned. I questioned you. I knocked one off. It was actually 12. Wow. Why would you knock one off? I don't know. I think I just missed it. I just forgot.

You just couldn't remember the amount of times it was in a very small window of time. Like, again, I just don't even know how it's possible. You are a fucking. Yeah, maybe you're a 9-11 Carrera. Oh, yeah. Yeah. I always, maybe you're a 9-11 Carrera. Oh, yeah. I always wanted to be associated with 9-11, so... Did they call that a 9-11 Carrera? I always called it a 9-1-1.

Yeah, I think it's a 9-11, right? I mean, there's other ones. There's like the 9-40 or 50 or whatever, but you're a Carrera, bro. I'll take it. Yeah. Of the shit. I'll take it. Yeah. I'll do shit. I'm okay with all of them. Like, if I was a Camry or... What car would you not want to be?

If a girl was like... Like a Corolla. A Corolla's worse than a Camry? Oh, yeah. Because it's a little smaller than the Camry? And the... What about like a Miata? Dude, one of the funniest things I've ever heard was my buddy's parents who got divorced.

And his dad rolled up to his house. And his ex-wife goes, oh, new car. Is that a Camry? And he goes, no, it's a Corolla. And she goes, what's up? What's up? Oh, my God. I'll tell you what.

When the chicks want to play mental warfare, you're fucked. It's because it's mental terrorism. Because they'll go past a line that you won't go. You can't fight back. It's like, I would never do that to someone. That's horrific. Thought so. Thought so.

She knew damn well it was a Corolla. Just wanted you to say it. Just wanted you to say it wasn't a Camry. Wow. Sick fuck. Let's do one more voicemail. By the way, she's asking for the car to know how much money he makes, right? I would.

Yeah, I mean, I think it could go both ways. I think it could be like, you know, is it a dick thing or a money thing? I think the car is a money thing. I think it's like, I want to know. Are you packing and is your bank account big? Yes. Then I'll fuck you. So then you just send her two fake pictures.

Someone else's dick and someone else's car. Next up, and then we'll do our interviews. What's up, boys? Quick question for you. So I've been just recently started seeing this and and it's going good whatever I've been hanging out a couple times she came over to my place to the night it's all good and then just last weekend I go to her place you know we're hanging out go upstairs stay the night whatever and come to find out she doesn't sleep with the fan on or open the window or anything just fucking stale musty ass air in

there and i think it's just psycho move i told her it's psycho move so now i'm just re-evaluating everything and don't know what to do here might be a preemptive breakup situation i'll tell you what are maybe some other about sleeping and preemptive breakups? It is fucking insane. You have a girlfriend. Why? The snoring would be an absolute. I swear to God, I could meet my soulmate.

And if she snored like you, I'd be like, it's over. Like, it's one thing when everybody's fucked up. But I was like, I said to her, I'm like, I'm just like a random Tuesday night. You guys will go to bed and you just power through that. She was like, well, usually I suffocate him a little bit and we figure it out. But I was like, I mean, it's we were up at fights his house and everybody slept in one room, like bodies everywhere on arrow beds. And I mean, everybody was pretty heavily fucked up. And I mean, I was like, I contemplated just going to sleep in the other house, just like on a tile floor. Really?

Is that bad? That bad. It's insane. Me and Graham were like, Graham was like, he's got to go get it fixed. He's like, he did the one sleep study like 20 years ago, and he just said, well, no, they can't fix it. They can do other things. There's other doctors. He was going off.

I was like, that's a dude who has slept with this guy like 12,000 times in his life who's sick of it. But I mean, I would need headphones and white noise and a fan. I think it's tough I don't understand what the complaint is here You sleep in plain silence I mean you sleep on a fucking bed at night Let's go

You'll just go to bed at night In complete silence With 3.5 seconds to go in a second That's a big goal Yes I will go to sleep in complete silence I used to I think And then when i had a kid they you know they do uh white noise and shit a lot dude there was a period of time we you get

these white noise machines that can play white noise or can play music and lullabies and shit and one for we went through this period where like shea would only sleep with like a like a rockabye baby. And it was like this piercing sound of it. And I remember going like fucking insane. I was like, this is like The Shining. I could just hear it throughout the house and I was like...

It's like the nanny in Curb who used to work at... What was it? Like a theme park. Yes. That makes her theme park. Yes. That makes her go insane. Right. That triggered something in my brain.

But now I'm white noise. Bro, my bedroom, blackout shades. He's not even complaining about... He wants the air. What does that even fucking mean? Yeah, I don't care about the air. Musty-ass air? What, are you sleeping in a log cabin?

Yeah, what are you talking about, man? Sleeping in the fucking, like, in pollen or some shit? Like, that I don't get. If you want, I think, you know, it's better to be on the same page with, like, do you like noise? Some people sleep with the TV on. I sleep with the TV on most of the time. Dead silence gets my brain going, because I'm like, what's that? What's that?

My eyes are closed, but I'm like, was that a cricket? Was that a monster? Was that a, you know what I mean? But I'll usually do, I go blackout shades. I've got a fucking unbelievable mattress topper. I got a bunch of comfortable pillows, white noise. Oh baby, it's a palace. It's a palace.

That sounds nice, but I would never do something like that. It's just too much effort. I mean, all I did was get a fucking black, I just got curtains. Yeah, but like, even like, I just bought like a bed standard. I'll take that bed. You are just a bag of shit. Let's get into our interviews. Adam 22 from No Jumper with the follow-up story to what happened to Eliza, the girl who blew the seven suns.

The wildest story. Sounds so funny to say that. I said it was like a Greek mythology. I said Athena blew the seven suns. and then Hercules came out of her. It's like a fucking fable. It's crazy. But the follow-up to the hottest story on the internet, straight from the mouth, I will tell you there is a stunning turn of events about Eliza's ex-profession.

Stunning. Very shocking. Maybe the most shocking thing I've ever heard. It's brought to you by The Zebra. It's been reported that Americans are overpaying on car insurance by over $21 billion. But searching for a better deal can take hours and typically results

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Hook us up. Do the right thing. Help out the podcast and go to thezebra.com slash KFC. That's T-H-E-Z-E-B-R-A dot com slash KFC. Let's talk to Adam 22. What's good? Chilling, man. That girl just sent me a screenshot.

She made $60,000 in the last couple days. So I'm a little jealous. All right, let's get right into it. We got Adam22 from the No Jumper podcast who lit the fucking internet on fire the last 48 hours. I mean, you have had several big moments in your podcasting career, but has this been the most viral? It feels like it right now. It's definitely the one that the barstool universe has embraced the most so there's something to be thankful for you know yep for sure so so uh selena has been on the show a couple times is this eliza's first time she showed up for the first time and just let it fucking rip yeah i mean selena was scheduled to be on and she

had a friend with her and the friend you know had glazed-over, googly-eyed look that you saw on the podcast, I guess. And I had no idea she was going to be talking on there, and Selena was so gleeful to bring her into that environment to have her share the story. You got your Barbara Walters on, man. You had your interview hat on. You were like, and tell me more. And how did that feel? And so exactly what happened? I mean, bravo, man. You had your interview hat on. You were like, and tell me more. And how did that feel? And so exactly what happened?

I mean, bravo, dude. Well, I appreciate it. But the reason why I was so concerned about exactly what the physical effect of swallowing seven nuts might be was because previously I did an interview with a porn star girl who told me that she swallowed like eight nuts. And she got like an insane stomach bacterial infection of sorts. So I was kind of concerned that that might've happened to her. I mean, so you're telling me, I mean, one of my favorite urban legends of all time is that Lil' Kim needed to get her stomach pumped when she was on tour with bad boy.

So you're saying it might be real. It could potentially be. When I was a kid, it was Britney Spears. Oh wow. Really? Interesting. But who was she blowing? Like it made sense i don't

know i just remember was on tour with like all these rappers who would britney be i didn't know the the rapper part of it oh yeah the tour part of it i thought it was just a little kid needed their stomach pumped which it could have just been like an average tuesday night who knows you can like google this and find that that's like one of the most enduring urban legends and that the person who's like the target of it is constantly sort of in flux so uh yeah but i mean these girls are out here really doing it you know yeah man i mean uh so was there any thought that maybe this is not true or is this like this girl she just has no reason to lie and she's just spitting facts because it really hasn't been confirmed but

it's not like anyone the suns is going to step up and be like, yeah, I was there. But I believe her. I don't know. I just trust this girl. I mean, she named and shamed the team and then the specific players and even started to dig into, like, the order that they went in. That's kind of like why this podcast. Normally we don't do them live, but we did this one live because it just seemed like, you know, well, I don't know why we did it live. But thank God we did, because it would have been at least a little bit i don't know why we did it live but thank god we did because it would have been at least a little bit of a decision right on whether we air it or

not but dude we did one we do a show that we always pre-record and one time when facebook live first was a thing we went live with a guest who just she ordinarily wasn't in the mix with us ended up making some like racist jokes and like it was the one and only time we were live. And it totally fucked her. We always still feel so bad about that. But in this case, you must have been like, well, let's fucking go. Can't do anything about it now. Yeah, I did a podcast back in the day where I had this 65-year-old dude who was viral on Twitter.

And he was like a used Honda salesman. And he just straight dropped the hard R in the middle of the podcast. And I just had to deal with it. I was like, I probably would have removed it in that case because I would have kind of felt bad about the fact because this guy lost his job and shit for saying it. It's tough. But what do you think you would have done if this was prerecorded?

You think you would have aired it? Yeah, probably because I mean, everybody's got stories about Trey songs anyway and how creepy he is. So, I mean, I don't really feel bad about encouraging that. And, you know, she really didn't name names on the podcast.

That's the thing. It was only in the comments. So you actually, you know, it's all on her. But the follow-up to this girl's whole story is that, so she got fired from her job. And that was one of the main shocking things is that she's saying, I work as a CPA. And so I'm immediately envisioning like the guy who

has to sit across from her in the office thinking about this all day you know this girl eliza is a certified public accountant but then the thing is is that i got hit up last night and i was informed that she got fired and she got disowned by her parents and it turns out that she was working for her dad, and her family is Mormon. I shouldn't laugh, but I mean. I mean, that's actually a recipe for, like, if you were to create in a lab a girl who might blow seven basketball players in a hotel room. It's that one. It's a Mormon childhood, for sure.

Mormon childhood father is, like, an accountant. I mean, like, just the most repressed girl ever who just wants to let it rip. But mean at the same time you said that she made 60 grand in a couple days so i mean i'd probably take that trade off i mean she doesn't seem upset at all when i saw the text messages were her talking about her family disowning her she literally said like tell adam i don't give a fuck about him talking about my stupid fucking parents. She's angry at her parents for like having this reaction. But as soon as I heard the Mormon thing, I'm like, like, how is this supposed to go any other way? Yeah, absolutely, man. It was funny.

I did my video on One Minute Man on it, and I was, you know, I was letting it fly and kind of poking fun and making, you know, calling some names. And I was a little I was like, I don't know if these girls are going to like me or whatever. And then Selena DM me and she's like, yo, can you tag me on that, please? I'm like, I don't know if these girls are going to like me or whatever. And then Selena DM'd me, and she's like, yo, can you tag me on that, please? I was like, okay, all right. We're all just chasing clowns. Selena DM'd me a picture of you and said, is this Ben Shapiro?

Oh, shit! And you know what? And so she wins. Hang on. That's racist. That's fucking racist. Not all white people look. Wow, that is maybe, listen,'s fucking racist not all white people look wow that is maybe i've listen i've heard it all yeah i've got the most internet hate in the world but that might be the

worst burn i've ever been shapiro i'm gonna have to change my whole fucking look man shit she saw me i think she got confused because she saw me tweeting about ben shapiro because like that that is the one thing that i would kill for right now is to have Ben Shapiro just somehow react to that video because I seen him responding to the Cardi B video and I would just love to see his take on this like for him to take it really seriously tell us why it's

bad I reached out to him after the WAP shit and I was like come on the podcast if you'd love to I don't even know if you ended up reading the DMs but I would love to get Ben Shapiro in here I just made I just made the like the promise to myself to the DMs, but I would love to get Ben Shapiro in here. I just made the promise to myself to not get political, but I'm like, let's get Ben Shapiro in here. Man, am I Ben Shapiro? That's a tough one, dude.

That's good, though, right? You probably never heard that before. No, never. That's a new one, at least. Shout out to Selena. She's keeping it original. So what else is good? I mean, no jumper.

I feel like at Barstool, we've been pushing the envelope forever. But even in recent years, you know, things have gotten a little bit more corporate and we've kind of had to play it. You know, more is on the line, whatever. No jumper is one of the last podcasts out there. That is just fucking wild. I mean, do you got do you do you have a line that like you wouldn't cross or a guest that you wouldn't talk to or something you wouldn't say or you're just like let's fucking go wild wild west style i don't really i mean yeah i had milo back in the day and i felt like that was a huge uh thing that sort of like made me realize that maybe you don't want to be under like there's a huge liability associated with getting too political right and for me it's like i'm not hugely, you know, I read a lot about politics, but I'm not like really trying to have my platform be about that.

So I feel like that's probably the main thing I could, like if I were to have Ben Shapiro on, I feel like that would be the thing that would like piss people off maybe more than anybody that I would be promoting sort of right-wing ideology, which I don't really have any interest in that anyway. So it's like that's something I kind of try to avoid is just anything that gets super political. I mean, like nine times out of 10 when I'm doing an interview, it's like an underground up and coming rapper or old school rapper. Like we do vast majority of our stuff at this point is just rappers with a little bit of

like Instagram comedians and porn stars and whatnot. So I don't know. I mean, this thing was like the most out of control thing. Like our podcast used to be a lot more crazy when it was in the back of my bike shop, which we shut down like six months ago. And back then it was really crazy because people would just be showing up and just coming on the live stream.

And like, we didn't even really have that much control over what was happening in a sense. Yeah, like when someone fucking storms in the place with a gun. Right, so that sort of changed my uh mentality at least a little bit yeah i mean that that was that that clip where like in the beginning you're kind of laughing and like think it's a joke maybe is is one of the wildest clips i've ever seen yeah i mean that was a weird one too because i felt like i was so inundated by people who thought that I faked it for clout. And then it actually turned out that the guy had a fake gun. It was a fake gun.

And I'm pretty sure he was like completely fucked up on drugs. And I ended up figuring out what his Instagram was. And I saw that he had messaged me like 20 times and I had never seen it or anything like that. Like a stand situation. That's like a stalker. Like that was like, that wasn't just like a stick up.

That was like, he had a problem with you. I don't know i think honestly like he was probably just so out of his mind that he didn't know what the fuck he was doing because i seen him in court afterwards with his dad this fucking filipino kid um because i actually went to one of the court dates they told me that i had to go to um and then nothing happened and i never heard about it after that ever again but uh it was it was crazy seeing him with his dad and his dad looking all disappointed in him and shit. I bet.

Yeah, that's not, I mean, what, what, what would you rather have a son who's running around trying to rob people or a daughter was blowing seven sons? Right.

Cause I got a daughter coming in like two months and I keep thinking like if my daughter was like 13, how would I explain what I'm currently dealing with to her if she was like adult enough to sort of understand? I think about it all the time. I'm like, I hope my kids can't. I'm going to make sure my kids can't read so they don't read my blogs and I hope they never find podcasts. Hopefully it's all worth it in the end. How's that going?

Len of the plug now, Len of the mom. I mean, you guys are, you know, you're a wild couple and now it's going to be you know parenthood it's got to be a big switch for you huge split that's going to be in our life because me and her are just getting deeper and deeper into the porn game we're about to start something new that i can't uh 100 divulge the uh information about uh but i mean this is like that division in my life where there's like the family time and then there's the fucking on camera time. And then, I mean, I guess there's the rapper podcast time. It's like they're all they're just going to have to be in their own fucking worlds.

Like I'm thinking we might just get another house and just have like the house. Yeah. Or a house like I mean, the only fans money is like that. Like I might really be able to have two houses. That feels kind of crazy. I was going to say, listen, there's some there's some hoops and hurdles you're gonna have to get through but if you've got two house money it's worth it yeah hey i mean it's weird too to have a like i'm killing myself out here and my girl's making more money off only fans than i am doing whatever the fuck i'm doing we i'm like at some point i was gonna have to

figure out how to start getting this bag too what was it a uh was there like a tipping point for you where you were like all right like i'll fuck on camera was that ever a thing where you didn't want to do it or you were down from the beginning well yeah it was kind of like early on i because i don't i don't drink or do drugs anymore but like that up until a couple years ago me and my girl would be like going to the club have a bunch of drinks meet some. We'd end up like filming it. And then in the morning, like reviewing the footage, just like, holy shit. And then like slowly that just sort of like warmed me up to it. Like doing it when you're not really thinking about it being public all the way through to the point where you like have a camera crew and there's like a camera dude and he's looking you in the eyes while there's girls.

That's a big difference, man. And you got to be confident in your dick game, too. That's no joke. Yeah, I mean, the craziest experience I ever had, to be honest, was Riley Reid. My girl got Riley Reid and, like, three other girls, and their idea was that I was going to wear an Easter Bunny costume, and they were going to all fuck me while I was wearing the Easter Bunny costume.

So picture, like, getting head from, like, four girls at the same time, but you've got the Easter Bunny head on, so you can't see anything that was the weirdest moment of my life just like i'm it probably looked so good but i can't see anything i went and watched the video after and it was amazing because i felt like it wasn't even me like i wasn't even there for this yeah that is fucking hilarious that was it in easter video was there a reason you just like like it was april it was That is fucking hilarious. Game has changed. Was it an Easter video? Was there a reason you dressed like... Yeah, it was April. It was Easter.

I thought you were going to be like, nah, it was just December. We did do a Santa one, too, but I could see in the Santa costume, you know. Look at you, man, changing the whole fucking game. What's good on the rap front? Anybody else? Anybody? I know you were... What?

You're kind of known for putting on XXXxx and 69 little yachty any other like big names or people you feel like are about to pop that no jumper kind of found i mean i'm just having a good time with a lot of the detroit stuff out there right now i think you should really listen to this rapper uh rio to young og and uh there's another guy named i swear vezzo and there's there's just like a whole crazy ass movement coming out of detroit right now like a lot of good music so that's that's something i'm partial to right now on a personal level who was that you were uh cooking coke with the other day that was a wild video yeah yg actually hit me up and said hey i want you to do a vlog in the projects with my new artist this kid uh d3 and so i pull up and they're like you know hey

we're gonna we're gonna cook crack and i was like okie dokie all right i guess i'm gonna put it on my snapchat story and uh i can't confirm whether or not it was actually crack cocaine being cooked but there was something was going on yeah listen that's good for good for the streets right that's good for the for the street cred uh that's some wild shit though do you do you feel like you have to keep your uh like your recommendation or like your seal of approval for a rapper kind of like tight because i'd imagine you know if you get the the no jumper you know seal of approval it means something but it's also got to be tough it's like you come on the show and your boys and thanks for coming and then you're gonna be like you're not that you know i'm not i'm not putting you on yeah i mean i have uh you know i have people trying to pay me

all the time for interviews and i've just always said no i mean for me it's like i try to just keep the no jumper side of things especially you know it's kind of a it's kind of a relief thinking that me and my girl are getting fully deeper into the only fans game because it's like then i can kind of keep no jumper more pure and not have any like corporate interests sort of like swaying who I'm talking to and stuff. I know a lot of times, sometimes people are like, you know, you interviewed this dude who has 10,000 followers.

You obviously got paid for that. But I mean, even if I'm wrong, it's always at least me trying to do my best job at estimating who's going to be relevant early on in their career, you know? Yeah, man. Are you, is No Jumper, have you found like advertisers who are cool with you just like letting it rip? estimating who's going to be relevant early on in their career you know yeah man are you is no jumper um have you found like advertisers who are cool with you just like letting it rip or is it

more of like a subscription thing or you know is that are you using that to make money in other ways or is there direct ad dollars yeah no we do we do ads here and there a lot of like weed stuff a lot of uh you know the dick pill thing i mean that's that's been one of the bigger ones for us um but yeah i mean we don't like the vast majority of our income comes either from youtube and snapchat and then also like we get like people we do these live streams where people donate for us to listen to their music and that is i mean i've honestly made like over the past couple years i've made millions of dollars off of people just paying us 100 bucks to listen to their songs so i mean what are you saying right now a couple million just to listen like nothing else you just listen you don't have to talk about it you don't have to you know whatever is it on the stream though

so they'll get some sort of exposure okay right yeah yeah i mean we we like we talk about it we'll like review it whatever people screen record it they put it on their only fan or excuse me on their instagram whatever but i mean and the thing that i mean we've we've have done nights where we whatever people screen recorded, they put it on their only fan or excuse me on their Instagram, whatever. But I mean, and the thing that, I mean, we've, we've have done nights where we made 10 or $20,000 playing people's songs,

like over and over, like that, like a hundred, 200 times. We got to switch up the script. We got to figure out a way to get this kind of money. I would like to officially announce, I will play whatever fucking song you want.

We should do this with podcasts. We'll listen to like your podcast segment. He's the music guy. We'll be the podcast guy. That's fucking brilliant, man. We should do this with podcasts. We'll listen to your podcast segment. He's the music guy. We'll be the podcast guy. That's fucking brilliant, man. And you're making millions. You got this full head of hair now. You got a kid on the way.

You're fucking for money. I mean, just living, dude. Just living. I'm just trying to keep it going, you know, whatever we can do. You like to play poker, too? Oh, man, yeah. I'm obsessed with poker. Because Nate, he mentioned me doing the poker podcast with him at a certain point that's

actually it's like a daily battle for me to like go and do these interviews when i a big big part of my brain is just addicted to sitting on the computer playing poker and like having to sort of take my attention away from that to go do the stuff that people actually want to see from me right what we say was today was poker porn and there's another p that he does poker porn podcast poker porn podcast that's like the three p's dude it's it's you might be the most modern uh like income earner i fucking know like the various ways you're making money are on the cutting edge i don't even i've never even heard of this live stream thing no you. And you're at the forefront of only fans. Like you are on your fucking hustle,

dude. Dude. I just want to say Barstool exclusive that I plan on taking the porn only fans world and the podcast world. And I am right now working on creating the greatest merger of those two categories. And this is going to be a fucking, the content that we are working

on producing right now that combines those two genres is gonna i think it's gonna be the biggest thing i've ever been involved with so i'm extremely excited that's unbelievable dude i would like to get in on that if you want to send me an easter bunny head and riley reed and maybe we can do some of that i'm down all right hey i feel like riley reed might like you guys i could actually have a talk with her about that for sure please do sir i would love that yeah that would be fantastic riley riley is like my she's your one she's my she's the one i'm a big big riley reed fan all right man she's a class act we appreciate it uh adam 22 on social no jumpers the podcast the live streams the only fans l of the mom is his wife or,

uh, are you getting married? Are you guys just going to date? Uh, yeah, we kind of ended up doing the baby thing before we really discuss the marriage thing too much. So I guess I got to try to pick a point where I can try to fit that

into the schedule. Well, congrats on all of it, dude. Thanks for the time. I appreciate you so much. Shout out bar stool. Shout out. You guys appreciate it. Thank you so much, bro. Have a good one of it, dude. Thanks for the time. I appreciate you so much. Shout out Barstool. Shout out you guys.

Appreciate it. Thank you so much, bro. Have a good one. Thanks, man. Nick, a little bit of a different story than your Easter Bunny experience. Yeah. I didn't even think about that. I was thinking about that the entire time.

The whole time I was thinking about Nick getting blown by Riley Reid. Bro, if I got my dick sucked by Riley Reid and I didn't see it, I would be upset. If I got to watch it on video afterwards, I would probably make up for it. Yeah, probably. I mean, I think I would trade Riley Reid and four other girls, and then I get to watch it afterwards. That's a good one. Would you rather just get a blowjob from Riley Reid with your normal head

or an Easter Bunny head and you have to watch it after? I want Riley Reid to do it herself. I mean, she's a professional. Well, I'm sure the girls she brought were pretty well versed in that yeah that's true that's true but she's like i mean riley reed i steal like stamp of a guarantee the g word you threw it on the uh on the bruins the other day i guarantee riley reed will make an appearance on this podcast yes i agree with that and it will be if riley reed blew me i would probably kill myself it's just all It's literally all downhill.

Right? She's so fucking hot. Who would you rather get a blowjob from? I guess like Heather Harmon? No. Heather Brooke? No. Not even for the nostalgia.

Riley Reid. It's Riley Reid. She's a fucking rocket. Oh, God. I'm going to look at her Twitter right now. All right. Last interview of the day. Natasha Leggero is on the show.

She's promoting her new Netflix show with a bunch of the, a bunch of our favorite guys. So let's get to it. Let's do it. We got Natasha Leggero on the show. Leggero is on the show. I love this, this whole aesthetic you've got here. Oh, thank you. Like we basically, you know, doing everything over zoom, all we get to really kind of judge on is based on the background and i would say you might be like number one on the list this is a scene right here

well you know i i've done a lot of game shows and i will save my money from game shows and pay for wallpaper we we just interviewed jake um and he was in a cabin that he built during a pandemic. He built a cabin during a pandemic? That was an asshole move. It's like a full wooden mini house. It's beautiful. In his backyard. Such a dick.

What? I thought he was fucking with us at first. He was like, yeah, I went on YouTube and I used to work construction as a kid and I built this house. I was like, what, I went on YouTube and I used to work construction as a kid and I built this house. I was like, what the fuck, man? That is amazing. Yeah. It was impressive. But I like yours better.

It's better than my wallpaper. I like it better. I like the couch too. The white leather. It's a whole look, you know? Okay, thanks. Yeah, when you say legendary glamour, I think that's what this is right here. Okay, good. Pulling it off. We did just wrap up with, with Jake and he was talking about the cast of the new show hoops. And he talked about how he wanted to, the cast was so important to him to make sure

that everybody was top notch. And he repeatedly described you as a comedic killer. Or just an assassin. And I really feel like that is not only appropriate for you, but that's got to be one of the best compliments you can be paid, right? I mean, that's so nice. And I think that Jake has such, I mean, he really does have good taste because the cast is awesome. And I've been telling other people, because we've been doing more interviews, it's like, it's very unique to be able to get to be working with like all comedic people like no one's really an actor it's all like you know even if they don't do stand-up like Cleo she's writing her own movies and you know it's like we all just have like comic minds and so that's just always

preferred to like actors who read lines right right I is it, can you tell when, you know, like you get a role and then you see who else is involved? Are you like, oh shit, this is going to be, this is going to be something like different from my other projects. Like this is going to be a real one. Yeah. And I think that when you are deciding what to do a lot of times, you know, it's obviously the project, but then second to that, to me is the people, you know, because also when you're busy, sometimes you can't do everything. So it's like, do I want to be working with these people? And for this, it was definite. Yes. And I was saying earlier too, you know, when I first moved to Hollywood and I would go to auditions before I was a comedian,

I would sit in the room and I was like, maybe this isn't what I want to do. You talk to the other actors and everyone's kind of like, whatever. And then all of a sudden, one day I went on like a comedy audition and everybody was like doing bits in the waiting room. And there was like such great energy and I'm laughing hysterically. And then you go in together and you improvise. And I was like, who are these people? This is what I want to do. Jake has great vision and him and Ben created this together and they're old friends too. So I just think everything's very organic and, you know, everyone, we would have table reads for this every week and everyone in the cast, me, Rob Riggle, Jake, Cleo, AD Miles, Ron Funches, a lot of us have like known each other for decades. And so, you know, we've just been doing shows together and that kind of thing.

So it's really cool to be a part of it. Jake was talking about being in the booth with you where he said, you know, sometimes the because you play the ex-wife, right? Yeah, I play Shannon, his ex-wife. And it was it was originally pitched as sort of a Sam and Diane situation where,, you know, they, they kind of love to hate each other, but I would say this is that plus like, you know, my roasting persona added in cause she's like so mean to him. And you know, those relationships you have a lot of times, you know, hopefully we get over them in high school, but you know,

just that person who you just can't quite rid yourself of. Everybody's got at least one of those yeah well i was wondering how much because he said that you know sometimes the line wouldn't be written so well and you would get in there and you'd really punch it up and you'd really let loose i was wondering how much of that is things you wish you could say at home and you're like you know what i'm gonna take it out on this fake husband you know i gotta say this if this was pre-pandemic i would say i'm in a very healthy relationship but my husband i have seen him do things that i wasn't aware of i didn't know this was part of his personality he is a uh he called himself a chain chewer of nicorette and he is constantly has like three or four nicorettes in his in his you know just like at all times just with the saliva like chomping and

chomping and then i was roasting it earlier last night you know at that point just start smoking cigarettes if you're going to be chomping on the gum, you might as well just smoke cigs. Well, we have a small child, so I mean, I'm glad he's not doing that, but I am debating convincing him to start vaping again. Nicorette gives you a good zoom. Nicorette, like, sends you flying. Your butt's good. Oh, yeah, the vaping is great. It's just, it's not, there's just,

I think that now all of the research is being put into like a vaccine. So people have kind of stopped doing the, the vape research, which I would really like more info on because I would love for him to stop chewing in bed. The vaping is vaping as a whole is like one of the crazy, like we all just started smoking electronic cigarettes. There's no way like

a healthy alternative tobacco no shot there's no shot that's better for you than tobacco i know i know and then my husband also does this thing that i didn't even know was a thing where after he eats a snack like a big thing of popcorn he then was uh drinking the dust and yeah i'm sure you guys i've never seen anyone do that and i've sorry for a long time you're missing out it's like no no i've seen that shit ever since elementary school people like drinking all the sugar at the bottom of like a sour patch kids those people are all in jail i saw a kid so he loves that kind of candy so i'm sure he does it with that too i one time when i was like seven years old i watched the kids snort that like we were children we didn't really know what snorting things was and he's like i'm just gonna fucking bang down a rail of pixie sticks right now real quick boys will be bringing the dust in bed that just took it to

a new level so what was the question i forgot i i don't even know uh i think i had to do it oh is it like my relationship um not like it but just two parts the things you wish you could say come out exactly exactly i mean you you got an interesting relationship with motion cashier who I'm fascinated by comedic couples because I think, you know, comedians are, you know, you guys are all weirdos. You're all nuts and your minds are always, especially you being so, you know, in so many roasts. Like I just feel like you're constantly like thinking about one upping each

other. Are you constantly joking, cracking jokes at each other? Or is it one of those things like we leave work at home and when we're, you know, you're hanging out eating dinner, you're not in comic mode. I think it's a mix. I think, you know, it's nice to have someone who's always there that you can say the darkest thing to and they'll laugh. I would say that is probably mixed with a lot of nagging and a lot of, you know, discussions about a lot of requests,

maybe a little mansplaining of how to, how he wants things to be done. And, you know, a little nagging of how I want things to be done. You know, it's like you got a roommate and now it's like, he used to be on the road for five days here and there. And now that none of that, I mean, I don't think it's healthy for couples to not leave the house. So, you know, I definitely think this pandemic is a trying time for all the different levels. I think single people have their own unique things they need to get through. Like the positives are you all of a sudden have more time

to, you know, I know there's a lot of people out there who are essential workers and they're like the real heroes of all of this, but you know, people who are single going through this, not being able to touch anyone, people who are in the beginning of a relationship and now really getting to know people, people like me with kids who now I don't have any help. So I'm like, I, I was never expecting to be a full time mom. I didn't sign up for this. Yeah, seriously, if you're not if you were not, that was not your plan. And you get thrust into that.

That is a motherfucker. That is no joke. But it does come with the territory, you know, so so I'm kind of doing this on my own right was not your plan and you get thrust into that that is a motherfucker that is no joke but it does come with the territory you know so so i'm kind of doing this on my own right now and obviously it's hard for me to finish my creative things that i'm doing um but and my husband's working full-time now writing on a show on zoom so you know i'm i'm constantly trying to figure it out and and also debating how important it is for me to not get the coronavirus. Let me just weigh the risks here, the pros and cons.

Has there been a change in your comedic style as you became a mom? Is that something that changes? I mean, I know a lot of things, motherhood can change a lot is is your comedic uh style or your sense of humor changed at all well in terms of my sense of humor I used to always pitch dead baby jokes and I remember there would always be like older people in the room or producers and they're like no no we're not doing that and I would always be like why what are you afraid of but like I don't really think that's funny anymore either what is with that what was with the the pandemic of dead baby jokes like when we were in high school it's all we said to each other just yeah I know I know and I was always thinking it was so funny oh yeah that baby should like drown in a well

that would be hilarious and like I do I do kind of get as the world becomes more dark and as I have become a mother and all of a sudden you're, you know, your main job on this earth has become to like protect this innocent angel who is, you know, this like font of positivity that doesn't know who Trump is. So it's such a special thing to even be able to be around these people. So, you know, I'm really happy about that. But has it changed my comedy? For sure.

Because, you know, as a comedian, at least the kind of comedy I do, I'm responding and reacting to what's happening to me. And so becoming a mother with this particular person, too, it's like it's kind of fraught with, it's, it is kind of all I think about. So most of my new material, at least before this happened was all about being mom. And how I'm dealing with it in this very particular, you know, I, I froze my eggs when I was 37 and then I had a baby at 42. So, you know, my life was already very established and, you know, and I think there are more and more people like me who are kind of waiting. You know, my mom had her three kids when she was 23. And I think, you know, now it's like, and she hadn't really discovered herself or figured out anything, what she wanted from life. She was, you know, the kids become your

life, but for people like me, who your life is already this thing, and now you're, you're having a baby to fit into your life. It doesn't always fit how you want. So it's definitely an area that I've, you know, find very stimulating for comedy. We, we, this podcast, like the first like big moment we had, somebody called up the show and said, would you put a baby in a microwave for just one second?

Just one second. It can't possibly do anything for $10,000. And, you know, at the time we're all like, yeah, I mean, one second doesn't do anything. You know, you can't cook anything. And then I had a kid and I was like, all right, I don't know if I can do this joke anymore. It was like,

it's just not worth it yeah yeah um the roasting is kind of such a unique thing to there's certain people in the industry though who like it's it's just they're you know i guess is it like it just clicks for you are you just uh like when you see people we work with a guy who's a uh he does battle rap and he's the nicest guy in the world. But he says he's always just kind of looking at people and like undressing them and figuring out what exactly he would say. Does your mind kind of just work like in roast mode? Yeah. And it is an issue because, you know, it's, it's, I'm sure it's a glitch. I mean, it's probably not a healthy thing.

Like if I do my job right with my kids, she won't be like that. So, you know, it's not something I strive for, for my child, but it is definitely something that I see that a lot of comedians have, which is like, you know, maybe if I had to psychoanalyze myself, it's from having like, you know, a dark feeling when you're young and you think everything's great. And then all of a sudden you realize it's not and your innocence is taken away. And so now as you go through life, you're just like always able to see like, what's the darkest thing that can happen? What's the, you know, what's the craziest thing that would be like funny and and and you know and also you are really critical

of people around you or at least i am so i try to not go too hard on people especially if it's things they can't control but you know for comedy's sake sometimes it's fun are you are you typically outwardly critical of people or you just say it in your head like on a daily basis on a daily basis that's one of the downsides of being married to a comedian because you say it to them so that but yeah you know i try to especially now i'm trying to be positive obviously this is like a really hard time for people and i have it better than so many people, you know, I don't have I being able to quarantine is a luxury. And obviously, it's boring and stifling. But at the same time, you know, I, I'm able to stay safe. And, you know, a lot of people are risking their

lives. So I'm just trying to really keep that in perspective. And, and also, I'm just like, completely enamored with this younger generation, like the people who are out there fighting for Black Lives Matter and the people who are, you know, hopefully going to be my kids' generation fighting for the environment. You know, like these are very, this is a very inspiring, you know, I feel like my generation is a little more apathetic and I'm just like, I'm really excited for it. So I try to not like talk shit on them too much. Well, you know, I was going to say that that is probably kind of like a hot take in the sense that I think most of the time people are making fun of like the TikTok and like that, like that element of their generation, but they probably are, you know, there's probably a lot more good than bad, but I don't think,

I don't think it's anybody ever wants to admit that, you know, everybody, everybody thinks, you know, their generation is smarter, better. What do you think was out there? Like when you look at these aerial shots of Hollywood Boulevard during a pandemic and all of these like young people out there fighting for the rights of, you know, their, their friends and their community. You know, I, I think that that is, that's just so powerful. Like I, I, I wasn't really willing to risk my life, you know, like.

That is, that's a tough moment. I had that where I was like walking home from work and i like there was like a march going on and i was just like i think i'm just gonna go home but i feel like a real piece of shit about it at least my husband begged me to go and i'm just like i i don't know if that's the right thing to do with our family and you know it was but anyway the point is like those weren't those those were generally young young people I think and I and I think that it's just so inspiring yeah I couldn't really think of anything and that's probably because I'm just I've lived like such a charmed life but it was like nothing that I would protest for or rally

for I was like I'm going to watch from a distance, but because I'm probably lucky enough to do just that. Right. Yeah. I just think that, you know, as the world becomes a little more dire perspectives shift and change. And, you know, now I'm doing a show where I make fun of houses. So, so that's actually like, that feels like a safe area get canceled for that i think i think you're good in that department right well you know it's it's yeah it's it's it's always challenging but do you think um if if you were doing like your brand of comedy and

some of like the crazy roast shit now, do you think you would be kind of in hot water with the way the landscape of comedy has shifted? Like, would you still have let it fly as much as you used to if, if it was all happening under this like atmosphere? Well, I mean,

you kind of got to see like there aren't any roasts happening right now. And you know, it's, it's maybe everyone's just taking a beat. don't know I mean personally I think it's just a personal thing and like for me I always felt a little strange doing the roasts because a lot of times you have to like make fun of people who are like way more famous than you that you've never even met you know so it is kind of like a little more of a sport almost right well i feel like in the beginning like roasts originally i feel like it was a panel of you know the friends and family of the person on on the dais and then it just became a thing like you know she's really good at it so we're just going to keep inviting her back

and you know like those people when they don't know you they've got to be like fuck you like and even afterwards I'm sure they shake hands you give them a hug they get it they have a good sense of humor yeah you can't like that when it's coming from someone they don't know right that's the thing and then once I had a kid I was like I don't know if because the problem with the roast is you don't just get to do it. You have to receive it. And so like, you know, I was having a kid and I was in my forties and I was like, Oh my God, they're going to like make fun of my baby. And I don't know. I just started to get like really protective. And so now I just,

you know, roast people behind closed doors. Like the rest of us, just like normal people uh so now we're doing you got hoops um and jake had kind of said you know stereotypically people say it's easier work you just get in the booth and you and record and get your money uh which i do believe is kind of the perception from like a fan's point of view like it's it's much easier or less work uh what what do you think on that is it is it easier is it harder is it something you enjoy to do to do animated yeah i mean i'm not gonna lie it's like one of the best gigs you can have especially this one because it was already funny and then they added like all these amazing actors, comedic actors and, you know, the cast.

And what was really great about Jake and Ben is they were so involved. A lot of times you just go in and it's like booth and you're all by yourself and someone's just reading it and you're trying to manufacture the energy and the connection. But Jake was like always in the room and all my scenes are with him. So I feel like, you know, it just makes it 30% better. And so that was, you know, that was great. And yeah, I mean, it's an awesome job. It's so fun. And, you know, you don't, then someone else does the brilliant work of animating you and

making, turning that into something that you would have never even thought of. So it's like, you're really taking the best of what every thing has to offer. And it's such a collaboration. And, you know, for me, I love collaborating and that's kind of my favorite thing to do. So I'm really happy. What do you think brought on? I feel like we're living in the age of like the R-rated comedy. I don't, I don't, I can't remember them as a kid, maybe because I was a kid.

I didn't watch them. Cartoon, right yeah i'm sorry i'm sorry i'm already cartoon uh what do you think like brought on that well i guess it was kind of like the adult cartoon i guess south park is an adult cartoon right it's not really for kids because it's satire so i don't know i mean i i find those guys brilliant and book of mormon is also like one of my favorite things i've ever seen and i i think that they're probably at the forefront of it without really thinking about it you know that's true yeah i had told i'm not uh not i'm not anti-south park i just never it never really grabbed me as much i and i book of mormon i actually didn't love i was hung over in 17 when i saw it so that probably you didn't love it i i i remember i saw it in providence in rhode island

it already had like tons of success on broadway and i went and i remember like just getting dressed in the mornings we saw matinee and my mom yelling at me. And I was like, I've been at a party the night before. And I was like, this is like 17 or something. I was at the time. I think I was, I was probably, I forget exactly what age I was, but I was, I think I was too young to drink, but was hung over. I'm 31 now.

So it was a while ago, but how you view something is everything. Like I saw it on broadway with andrew ranalds and josh gad and it was just like it and i i got a front row seat by myself like it was the only seat left and so i just had like a i i just didn't know that you could be that subversive in broadway on broadway so you know i just thought that was so cool but yeah i think south park maybe started it and you know maybe it does feel a little bit bad like even worse than r-rated when you see cartoons you know yeah whatever so i i know i i really think people are gonna respond to to that element of it yeah nick jesus uh jake was like uh he was saying that it's going to piss off everybody it's R-rated, everyone gets it

everyone gets got, excuse me he's like, we're going to do, the left's going to be pissed at us the right's going to be pissed at us and he was like parents whose kids accidentally see it are going to be pissed at you yeah he was like, I just hope people can be like, I can smoke a joint and drink a beer and just have a good time

with like, dick and vagina people can be like, I can smoke a joint and drink a beer and just have a good time with dick and vagina jokes. Well, there are some of those. I think that's what he led with. He was like, in my mind, if there's any dialogue except for dick and vagina jokes, I'm going to be disappointed. Do you feel, as a female comic, I feel like there's so much going on in comedy right now with Netflix and streaming services. As a viewer, I just start to think of it as comics. And I know for so long it was like female comic. She's the funniest female comic, the most selling female comic.

It was always kind of like a separate designation. Do you think that it's still that way or do you think it's um like kind of everybody is just a comic now i mean i think women in general are going to be coming up in all fields you know there there aren't a lot of women directors because maybe women didn't believe they could be directors as as much as men did and they didn't go to school and they didn't learn how to do it and they didn't put in the you know 30,000 hours it takes and you know so I think now kids who are in high school age I think they're gonna have hopefully have like a more open mind about like what they can women you know what they can go into and that you know, you can do whatever you want to do. Because, I mean, personally, I would way rather watch a woman on stage than a man.

No offense, boys. But, like, I just find them more interesting, more relatable. Like, when I see a movie and it's got, like, five or six male leads and, like, no women or maybe one hot chick, like, I'm already out. I'm just not interested in their story. And, you know, I think that I don't want to say women are more inherently interesting than men. But from a comedy perspective, I don't know. I'm I'm I'm a little more taken by that. So you don't want to see an overweight middle aged man sweat all over a stage. There's no appeal there. I've definitely seen it before, but I think it just that women are able to,

I just want to be there to support the idea that women can do anything and everything. And that we are going to start enrolling in the programs and, you know, becoming directors and becoming, you know, women are already doing a lot of producing and they're so much better at it. No offense, but like. No, none taken. You're correct. You're 100% right. The more women that are involved, like I found in projects I've worked in,

the women are always the best communicators and they're the best getting what you want from the network. And they're, you know, I just think that, you just think that you know they're it's it's i i now i forgot what the original question was are there well no i mean i just think you know you've been you're kind of one of the ogs and you've been doing it for so long and i can remember a time where like those roast panels it was all dudes and and mostly you know just you or maybe one other and so you know i feel like you kind of did pave the way at least for this new like the later, the new modern generation. So I was, the more women that are in charge and the more women that are writing projects,

the better, because they will have more women involved. You know, when men are doing things, they're like, okay, well, we need to have a woman on this show. And so, you know, I've often been, you know, all through going, starting standup, it's like, okay, and then we got to have a woman, okay, you're the woman. And there was always like one woman, one person of color, you know, and then it was like all white men. And so I think that, you know, that's just shifting and shifting. And the more, the more diverse diverse this is hard saying this to two white guys but the more diverse things can become at the top the more it will just kind of trickle down so that's why i'm very pro women becoming writers and directors and producers and creating in studio

heads and like you know just kind of opening it up to tell those stories uh the stories that haven't been told so yeah as two white guys we know we had a pretty good run we've we've had a pretty good so no you had a good run it's over there's supposed to be some drippings for you always okay all right well uh the new show is hoops it's out on netflix august 21st we thank you so much for the time and good luck and uh your baby's beautiful oh thank you guys and hey you started it with the woman's stuff so you know that's not the door you walk through it i get it okay thank you, guys. Thanks, Natalia. Bye. Bye. The soundtrack to my life. The soundtrack to my life. To my life.

To my life. To my life. To my life. To my life. To my life. Yeah. Uh-huh. Yeah.

Uh-huh. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.