KFC Radio - Akaash Singh Explains How He Was Broke While Hosting Flagrant 2

Episode Date: April 11, 2024

Timecodes: 0:00 Start 00:28 Kevin didn't get invited to Mini Golf 06:39 J. Cole apologized to Kendrick Lamar 24:41 Pinocchio 49:01 Lana Rhodes x Michael Porter Jr 01:01:33 Akaash Singh Interview 01:02:42 Ad reads in his Youtube special, Gaslit 01:11:31 Flagrant 2 01:18:22 Imposter syndrome 01:20:26 NBA Greats 01:25:26 Flagrant cont. 01:35:05 J. Cole +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ Gametime: Download the Gametime app or go to https://gametime.co, enter your email, and redeem code KFC for $20 off your first purchase (terms apply). Bespoke Post: Get a free Mystery Gift with your first monthly shipment when you sign up at https://BoxofAwesome.com and enter the code kfcradio at checkout.You can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/kfcr

Hey, KFC Radio listeners, you can find every episode of KFC Radio on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. New episode of KFC Radio is about to start right now, but before we do that, I need a favor from you. We've got a new YouTube channel. It's called the KFC Radio Clips Channel. It's a short-form YouTube with all of the best interviews, segments, and moments from KFC Radio, past and present, just a few minutes long, so you can keep up with the podcast and all of our greatest moments if you don't have time to watch the full episode. So head on over there.

There's a link in the description below. Click that, subscribe, and then come back and catch the full episode. Thank you. It's another edition of KFC Radio on the Barstool Sports Network. Your boy KFC flying solo today. Feidelberg is out in Chicago for the Barstool Sports mini golf tournament. I'm hoping maybe next year I can make the cut. Maybe year 16 I'll be able to get the invite to things.

Maybe I could take Hannah Cook's spot. Maybe. I don't know. Hopefully. Hopefully I can get into the Barstool mini golf. And maybe I can replace Hannah Cook. I don't know if the boys took my, my retirement from the combine as I'm not doing anything anymore. I think it's pretty clear that mini golf is different than, you know, competitive sprinting and lifting and shit.

Or maybe I just didn't get the nod. I don't know but either way what's going on at that mini golf tournament is is a travesty it's I mean it's you can't have a caddy who has scouted the whole the whole course already if I'm understanding this correctly, they have all the holes set up in Chicago. The tournament's today on Thursday. Wednesday night, Jersey Jerry played the whole course like 100 times. And then is Dan's caddy for the real tournament. I mean, that's just blatant cheating. That is just blatant cheating. Oh, and by the way, Dan has said he's giving his winnings, if he wins, to Jersey Jerry.

I mean, that is just like true blue blatant cheating. And now it's mini golf. But there's a $25,000 prize. So it's mini golf, so we're having fun. And it's mini golf, so that means anything and it's mini golf so that means anything by the way do you call it mini golf do you call it putt putt what do you call it i saw mini golf mini golf what do you call it jackie uh i saw someone i i say mini golf i've heard putt putt but then i saw a mini putt today that's crazy somebody said mini putt golf i think it might have been j. It's like mini putt. That would be an even smaller mini golf course

if it was mini putt putt. Anyway, mini golf course. Anything can happen on at the Barstool mini golf open. Like, you know, Kirk Minahan's very good at this, but at the end of the day,

you're hitting it into toilet bowls and you're going through loop-de-loops and you have all these different obstacles, so anything can happen. But they went into it with the mindset

of we're going to have Jerry know everything ahead of time and tell us, so even if the the strategy doesn't pan out at the end of the day you were going into that event being like i'm going to try to take the 25 000 from somebody else by get and give it to jerry by cheating that's crazy and i know like it you know it it falls under like just like barstool shenanigans and stuff but it is like when you put these kind of numbers on uh on the prizes um you know it becomes different like smitty's out there i'm sure smitty would love 25 grand in his pocket big ev would

love 25k and they don't have a caddy who has seen the whole course and played the whole course. And again, Jerry can be like, oh, on this one, I tried to go left and it actually turns out that, you know, you can't, so you should go right. And that doesn't guarantee that Dan is going to, you know, put

one in, but it's the idea behind it all, the principle behind it all the principle behind it and i saw a day uh dave and and kirk you know going crazy over it and usually it's like i'm somewhere in the middle these guys are going berserk uh these guys are acting like they did absolutely nothing i'm somewhere in the middle on it this one I'm pretty I think you know had I been invited I would have been on their side being like you can't have

somebody who knows the course who also has been incentivized and told you will get all of my money if I end up winning and then there's Rico who's I don't know what Rico's doing apparently Rico is rooting for somebody to tear their ACL. You know, when you're amongst friends and coworkers,

maybe you shouldn't be rooting for ACL tears. But at the same time, you know, the people who get all bent out of shape about, like, injury, shit talk, I don't like. That bothers me. It's like, you know, you don't want any, bothers me it's like you know you don't want anything we're not talking about anybody dying here you're talking about you know you

want you want Aaron Judge to get hurt so the Yankees don't win the World Series I don't think that's you know you're lying to yourself if you're a sports fan who has you you've never had a a moment of like wouldn't it be nice if we didn't have to face that pitcher or wouldn't it be nice if you know that quarterback to face that pitcher? Or wouldn't it be nice if, you know, that quarterback was out for the week

that we have to play them? If you haven't done that, you're just not really a maniacal, like, diehard sports fan. Now, does that same logic apply for, you know, your friends and coworkers playing mini golf? Probably not. But, you know, Rico seems like he's always in an absolutely terrible spot, so maybe he could use that money more than anybody else. So maybe it is that bad at the Bosco household that he's rooting for, injuries on a mini golf course.

We have Akash Singh on the show today from Flagrant 2, who I think is one of the best comics in the game and certainly one of the best podcasters. I know that Andrew Schultz has become a mega star. And so Akash is always right there as his right-hand man. But I think he is just as good as anybody is in this game, including Schultz. And I think he's always been a great podcast guest. So he has a new special out.

And he sat down with us for a while. We chopped it guest. So he has a new special out. And he sat down with us for a while. We chopped it up. So we'll have an interview on the back half. I also, while he's not here, I can talk a little bit about rap. Not that John can't talk about the rap game. But the way I nerd out over this shit, I don't think he is as into it as I am. What we are watching right now in the rap game with J. Cole, Drake

and Kendrick Lamar is stunning. What J. Cole did by going on stage and apologizing to Kendrick Lamar was one of the worst mistakes I've ever seen someone make with their professional career.

Forget about just rap. I am talking about successful people choosing a path and being 100% dead wrong. That was one of the craziest moves of all time. And I don't think it's something J. Cole can ever recover from. I'm not saying that he'll like he won't have hit records and and still be a popular rapper we're talking about when you start talking about the tippy top it's like who's better Steph or LeBron you know and like oh LeBron lost in the finals so he'll never be considered like the goat it doesn't mean that he's gonna wash out

of the league and be a scrub it just means we can't consider you now to be the absolute best because you lost, you know, to the Mavericks in the finals. That is what's, that is what unequivocally happened with J Cole. If you're not familiar with it real quick, wrap up. J Cole hops on a song with Drake, first person shooter says me, Drake and Kendrick are the big three.rick comes out and says shut the fuck up stop including me in your little clique that's corny it's not the big three it's just the big me now the rap world went wild for that i don't know why they thought that was so crazy right that was like people say that kind of shit like on on regular rap songs just like i'm better than you

like no one's better than me no one's above me that was taken to be like whoa and maybe it's because rap is so bad but the one thing that has kind of carried through with rap is like battling and diss tracks so there has been good examples of that it's not like we've starved

for battles with the Drake and Pusha over the years and even what Megan The Stallion said Megan The Stallion saying you're not worried about megan you're worried about megan's law was probably harder than anything that these guys have said so far but j cole coming back he got excited it was like j cole oh he responded and j cole has been that dude for a long time saying like i'm the best rapper in this game and he comes out with something and it's he had the right idea

but like poor execution first of all he said in his rap I love my brother and I'm hesitant to do this you can't say I love you in a rap in a diss track just don't even fucking bother doing it I said it's like mike

ermantrout says in breaking bad no half measures if you're gonna go in on someone you have to go all the way forget it and and then you know forget about saying i love you and i'm hesitant to do this i'm saying if you're going to put out a record about someone it can't be like well let's keep this professional let's just talk about rap like because someone will push it to you but someone will cross the line and be like you're hiding a kid and it's like well fuck now uh you know now the gloves got to come off but i already you know i already gave you like the pg-13 version you can't you can't do that if you're going to go in you have to go all in and then after so but and then by the way his his approach what did you think of him going after kendrick lamar's

discography i i don't think j cole like j cole has is probably three albums apart from his prime so it's like i has last i think his last two albums were just okay so i don't think you can come at somebody's j so you're saying j Cole doesn't have his own catalog to talk about? To talk about that, yeah. Which I kind of agree. I feel like both of these guys are very, very good rappers, but also are overrated in certain ways. I think there is an argument to be made about Kendrick Lamar's music

that it wins Grammys and it gets critical praise and a lot of it is very intellectual and deep but there's something about like in the rap world you have to be able to blend both like real rhymes with substance and songs that matter with hits and with songs that are replayable and I know it's cliche and it's like kind of a joke that people say, like, do you play it in your car? But people don't play it in the car. They don't play it at the party. It's not like the radio banger.

People don't remember, like, oh, that song was the song of the summer. Like, that song was everywhere. Kendrick Lamar, that's the one part of his career that's missing. And it's like, yes, he's very good, but there is the angle that j cole was starting to take was the correct one he shouldn't have been like i you have a classic you have a classic album and a at your peak you were bigger than me but this album flopped and that album was tragic you should have just focused on the bad that would have been fine uh and yeah like saying like it

takes 30 months for you to put out a good verse. There is something there. Because the reaction was enough of like, oh, okay. All right. It wasn't a total flop. It was okay. But then what he did on stage at his own festival. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. I don't know.

I mean, he said on stage that his friends were telling him not to do it. But I don't know if he needs, like, one right-hand man to really help him in these situations. But going out there at your own festival, on your own stage, and apologizing to a guy who was the one who spit in your face first is one of the craziest things I've ever seen and it's one of the worst moves in hip-hop history for a genre that is made out of competition the difference between rap and all other music is that there is a competitive nature to it and there is this it's very much like sports in my mind you have your favorite rappers the same way you have your favorite players and teams and you root for them And then the guys who are against them, you root against, and you discredit them, and you argue about them, and why is this person better? And there's something, while it's

still music and it's still subjective, there is something a little more tangible about like, was that rhyme or that verse more clever than the other one you know when there's certain word play and rhyme schemes and punch lines and it's like that was better than this other rap that doesn't you can't do that with like taylor swift versus fucking olivia rodrigo you know like it's like it's not there's not a a like playing field so to speak, that both people step up to. So that's what this game is completely built on. And that's what J. Cole has been talking about like his whole fucking career is how like lyrical miracle he is, how surgical he is, how he's top five, how – even that shit – he had a song being like we'll see who will

last the test of time because like i'm a real one i i spit bars and these other guys are fucking fluff and they won't last and now once you do that you can't ever go back like he must have woken up the next day and been like, what have I done? Because everything you've ever said before it is completely negated. All of your tough talk is like, well, you said all that. But then when you had the opportunity, and by the way, the perfect opportunity where you didn't have to worry about violence. It wasn't going to get dangerous. No one was going to get killed. It's not bad for the rappers or the fans or the culture.

It was the perfect opportunity to be like, we are kind of friendly, so let's just go at it. Go head to head and see. Yes, we're going to say some things that make you uncomfortable. I'm going to go at your insecurities. You're going to go at mine, and we'll see where the chips fall. He had the perfect opportunity to do that. And then not only did he not do it he gets on stage and says i couldn't sleep at night and my spirit was off and my aura was a problem like what are you talking about

that is what this entire genre is built on so you can't be like i i can't like uh there's's no way I can move forward, it's like, that is what rap is about, and in rap, if you're gonna be one of those legacy rappers, you need to have a ton of smash hit songs, you need to have at least one album that is a classic rap album that is highly respected, and you need to be battle tested, and you need to have, like, a famous battle to your name, and you might even lose the battle most often you got to win the battle to really like solidify yourself but you can lose a battle but like you did it and you put out a record that was respected and you got some jabs in and usually it's 50 50 and some people are like oh i like takeover and i like ether but

as long as you're out there but to apologize now it's like what do you do for the rest of your career the next time someone comes at you and you say no i, but to apologize. Now it's like, what do you do for the rest of your career? The next time someone comes at you and you say, no, I'm better than you, the whole world's going to be like, well, you're not. And we know you're afraid to prove it. And when you say you're, you know, lyrically better, and you got the best flow and the best lines. Well, apparently not.

So I don't know. To me, like, if you are a diehard j cole fan it's over for you like i don't i don't think you can don't think you can come back from that and i can't imagine the like there have been times where i've taught thought about like speaking honestly about certain things and i and i don't do it because i'm like you just can't put that toothpaste back in the tube and it's like you can always you can always maybe say it later, but you can't unsay it. So down the road, he was like, fuck, I didn't like that. I shouldn't have done that. Fine.

But two days later, fucking insane. Do you think it would have been better if he just didn't respond? Yes, yes, yes. If you're going to do this, it's better to just be like – because like because again nothing was said other than stop talking about me i'm just myself if he said like fuck you you're whack this this that and that about you then it's like well i would still say if this if you're gonna go this angle don't reply at all uh because people will say it's like lebron in the dunk contest i said you'll hear me say it with Akash later. You give him shit for it, but it's not like at the end of the day it doesn't define you.

But what does define you is being afraid. Yeah. If you put out a record and it fails and you lose the battle, people lose battles. There's always a winner and a loser. But being afraid or being like my aura was off, like what? That's fucking nuts. My favorite, my aura was off. Like, what? That's fucking nuts. My favorite, I guess, ending. I don't know if it was the ending to a rap beef, but my favorite part of any rap beef was the Meek Mill Drake one.

Where Drake had two bangers at him. The World Tour, Now Your Girl is So Blah. And then Meek Mill just came back with an okay diss track. And then in the outro, he just goes, we're not going to tell anybody about the time that you got peed on in the movie theater that's right and just left it open that's right and no one ever got to the bottom of the fact that drake got peed on in a movie theater yeah you gotta drop those little things i love that yeah there's there's been other battles that have ended jay-z went down to hot 97 got on the on the on the radio station and said my mom has told me to stop that is brutal uh drake being like you know jay prince won't let me put out this song like you like you

can't put out your own music brutal but those guys are big enough and have enough clout otherwise that like they can kind of get away with that. Whereas like J. Cole still really doesn't. He doesn't have that one album or that one battle or that one time where it's like, okay, we're going to like let you slide on that one. Drake can get peed on in the movie theater by his buddy. I think it was like it was an accident or something like that. It was by Tip. Yeah. You let Tip homie piss on you in the movie theater. I feel like I thought I heard that it was like some dude was drunk and like peeing in the movie theater.

Okay. And it like got on him. I don't think it was like, yo, I'm going to pee on Drake. Yeah. I think it was more like, what the fuck? This guy's pissing in the movie theater and like it's next to me. Yeah. That seems like what it was.

But nonetheless, that's what you do in a battle. Yeah. Is you say shit like that. You know? You take some creative liberty and some poetic license and you expect you know and so for him to be like yo i know in my heart that i like jake that i like kedrick lamar it's like yeah we know but that doesn't mean he's infallible it doesn't mean you can't find everybody can you can respect somebody i think they're good and still have

you know oh but i don't i don't think you do this well, or I don't like this about you. Fucking that's what rap is about. And so now it falls on Drake. According to Joe Budden, he says that he has heard from industry people that both Kendrick and Drake have records ready and that they are both nuclear. Really? That they are both like it's not going to be like the playful jabs. Apparently it's like they both went all in and even Joe Budden, who we know does not like Drake, said that he has heard from people who – he said people who can rap told me that Drake like did the damn thing. So that is another thing, by the way jay colts like you just checked

out of the biggest like maybe the biggest thing that's ever going to happen in rap yeah like this this could theoretically with the internet and how much rap has grown be the biggest rap battle of all time and you could erode that wave and got those views and listens and downloads and been a part of it and you just just said, no, I'm out. Crazy. Now, Joe Budden did say maybe that was on purpose. Maybe he was like, whoa, I know what's going on here now, and I don't want any part of that.

But even that, I think, is soft. So very excited to see what Drake and Kendrick might have in store. Apparently, you know, Drake, as we're listening to this, there should be a new Future and Kendrick and Metro Boomin' song, I believe, project out on Thursday. So people were talking about, does Drake put out his to overshadow it? Does he wait until it comes out? There's a whole chess match going on. We will see where it ends up.

But, like, man, it's like, why even get in the game and do all this shit if you're not going to do it? Like, the fact that drake got in there by the way drake the only stain on drake's career in my mind is that pusha t like had gossip on him yeah like it was bad gossip i don't i forgot what it was well it was it was the child yeah like yeah like he just he just said you you're hiding a kid which is like oh okay yeah in my mind like i think drake totally misplayed that he should have been more like yeah like i don't know we all got fucking kids we're rappers i don't know there's kids running around all over the place what what like what drake was talking about with push a t was like you're not even the most popular rapper on your own label like that you you know the guy you're behind is

is is younger than you you you're you're not popular the only way you're popular is if you keep talking about me those are like tangible things about your career. Pusha T like put some gossip out about you. So I don't know. I think when it comes to battling, like if you go back and listen to those – to the Pusha T and Drake freestyles, you listen to the Dupie freestyle. What he said, he went in on those guys. When you look at obviously what happened back-to-back, he destroyed them. Like he is battle-tested.

Ultimately, yes, you have to give Pusha the win because of how the audience responded to it but it's not like he you know can't do this so i think we are about to witness some shit uh and i hope it is as fucking as advertised with joe budden because that's what rap desperately needs after how bad the music has been and then J. Cole being like, I'm sorry. Absolutely brutal. Game time is the official ticketing partner of Barstool Sports.

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time difference um we will get to we'll do a couple voicemails in a second um i did this is this has been i've been looking forward to this conversation uh i saw it go viral uh like a couple weeks ago other podcasts have been doing it. But I listened to it and I knew I had to have this conversation with my girl Jackie. Because it's been wracking my brain too. The question is if Pinocchio says my nose is about to grow

what happens? Yes, so the debate is because if it's a lot because if when pinocchio pinocchio's nose only grows if he's when he's lying so if he says my nose is about to grow and he's telling the truth then his nose would not grow because he just told the truth yes but but he can't tell the that's not true if his nose doesn't grow. And then on the other side, if he says my nose is about to grow and it doesn't, that means it's a lie. So it does grow, thereby making his statement truthful,

meaning it wouldn't have grown. But then it leads to the question how how is his nose knowing and judging what's what's a lie and what you know like how does the nose know how does it well like there's a little bit of fiction going on here jackie it's not actually a real thing he's not even technically a real boy he's made of wood um i think it's something like like anything though like when you when you tell a lie you know you're you get sweaty or your face turns red your eyes dart around yeah like you do have these involuntary responses so if i said to you like you know i'm about to start sweating right now because i'm lying about something but i was telling the truth about that it wouldn't necessarily

happen because yeah maybe it's like involuntary. The innate confidence that you have when you say it. And that's how your body knows. Well, it's like George Costanza said, it's not a lie if you believe it. Yeah. And a lot of these people out here,

we've seen some sociopathic people in this industry and all across the internet who really start to tell lies to the point that they believe it to be true. And it's like, you could be, some of these people could probably beat a polygraph, right? Or it's like they really don't get,

they really believe in their, in their head that they're telling the truth or they lied for so long. Like, you know, I cannot express how much I, I can't tell a lie. You're not, you're not a good liar.

I'm not a good liar at all. I could see that being very true. Like just, just you start stumbling and stammering. You're J. Cole. All of a sudden you're apologizing for, like, something you didn't even do. You can't tell a lie for the life of her. Neither can I.

I have rosacea. By the way, my face has been red all day, too. You're probably looking at it right now. You look tan. Do I? I don't know. Something's going on. Because it seems like I've been in the sun, and I haven't been.

But anyway. Yeah, if you have those tells, you're it's right away yeah it's over yeah it's kind of nice in a way though because you're just like well i'm just never gonna lie yeah no it makes it easy i don't have to stress about it yeah i can't i can't i can't physically do it so i'll just have to be like yeah my boss is gonna get mad at me or like my girlfriend is gonna get mad at me or whatever it is that you're trying to lie about i've been told though you don't always have to tell the truth though like you like that was probably better for you to keep it you that you're trying to lie about. I've been told, though, you don't always have to tell the truth. That was probably better for you to keep. You didn't have to say that one.

Well, it's like, should you respond at all? Again, like J. Cole. It's not a lie if you just don't say anything. Sometimes it can be. Have you ever lied to me, Jackie? I don't think I've ever lied to you. I don't think that there's much for me to lie to you about. Because you can get away with lying on text and shit like that. I don't think I've ever lied to you. I don't think that there's much for me to lie to you about. Have you ever lied to me?

Because you can get away with lying on text and shit like that. There is still wiggle room where you can lie to someone. It's probably like, I've probably been like, oh, that was a technical issue. Yeah, that's what I mean. Have you ever been like, oh, the SD card, and it's like, no, you just forgot to press record again. None that I could think of.

Nothing big. I feel like all your big things, you got caught. Yeah, I got caught. Which it's like, you just forgot to press record again none that i could think of nothing big i feel like all your big things you got caught yeah which it's like i just i i can't i can't live with the guilt like i'd just rather get caught yeah like a thousand percent but also i mean but kind of like what you're saying with the j cole stuff as i get older though i'm learning like like one time i had a coach who was like he came to me and he apologized for being so hard on me. And I was like, well, you shouldn't have apologized because now I see you differently. Like now I don't see it as, I see it as like you taking it out on me. That's great.

It's a great point. As you like trying to, you know, train me into this good player. Yeah. It's like now, now I know that you were being malicious. Yeah, you had like now 10. And you feel bad about it. I mean, but I can understand. I get what you mean, but I can understand a coach being like

having some foresight as you get older or some hindsight when you get older being like, man, I did go hard on that girl with the big nipples. Maybe she was getting it on Instagram. Maybe I should have taken it. Like I'm sure there's plenty of coaches that look back and are kind of embarrassed by like how serious you see that there's a video of a guy like aau a couple weeks ago like shoving like a 13 year old yeah it's like if you're not embarrassed to that that is you know something's wrong with you that person should be fucking in jail. Yeah. I guess he admitted that he took it out on me. That's fucked.

And I was like, okay, don't admit that. You know? Because in your head, you were like, hey, he's just a tough coach. Yeah, I was like, I'm getting results though. And I don't know. It's just like, sometimes you don't have to say, you have to be honest about everything. Well, you know what? I really do believe a lot of times people apologize for themselves about shit. And it's like, you think you're doing it for them, but you're doing it for your own guilty conscience.

100%. Actually, I will say though that after then, like it helped me mentally to be like, oh, I'm not, like, fucking up all the time. It's like sometimes he's just taking it out on me. So there is that aspect to it, too. Anyways, the Pinocchio. But Pinocchio. But anyway, Pinocchio. I've thought before I said this, like, what if he just says allegedly before everything?

And he's like like allegedly i'm gonna go to that party tonight and then and then like he doesn't show up to the party but he never said that he was gonna go to the party he just like said yeah the people would would you know mostly think that i'm going to the party tonight yeah pinocchio should just live in the world of maybes and allegedly yes and like you just stick it allegedly before every single sentence you get away with anything yeah you know it's never gross it's not a bad it's not a bad play if you're pinocchio yeah just give yourself the ultimate disclaimer what a weird like like how do people think of that well pinocchio yeah like the whole story yeah it's like the

whole wooden boy thing like yeah it's a fucking weird one i mean have you gone back and watched pinocchio anytime it's also like a very what when they go to pleasure island yeah there's like whores and they're smoking cigars and drinking getting fucked up and stuff it is it is quite the scene for a children's movie uh but all of all of it's a little bit you know a little bit fucked up when you think about some of the you know it's like stepmother's like locking away this their stepdaughter in a fucking castle hiding rapunzel in a tower where she can't like she's not exposed to any other humans like yeah a lot of it's fucked so i think ultimately though my nose is about to grow

yeah i think it i think you're right like it's a bodily response and if you're able to like say a lie without sweating and everything so if you truly believe that your nose is about to grow then it won't grow but if you if you say it and you don't mean it with your chest, like, if you're like, my nose is about to grow, then it grows because it's a lie. So I guess it comes down to how much of a sociopath is Pinocchio. Yeah. Because if you can really say it and trick yourself

Or even just like does he believe it? Because if he believes his nose is not about to grow and it doesn't Yeah he's gotta like trick us. But then he's told a lie. So it just depends on if the nose is at the mercy of like Pinocchio's brain and heart or if the nose truly just like it just acts on if the nose is at the mercy of like pinocchio's brain and heart yeah or if the

nose truly just like it just acts on its own yeah but if you can kind of control your nose a little bit what if you always just say i'm joking after every single time that's what i basically just i know but like oh yeah i guess yeah yeah you're just like i'm just yeah i'm joking because i do that a lot when i realize someone doesn't like something I just said, I'm just like, I'm just joking. It's a bit. What if he was just like, it's a bit. Jackie was ready to jump down your fucking throat.

I just fucking said that. Ha, no, no, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I just said that. All right. Yeah, I mean, these are the things that make, you know, my brain explode. And I can't even imagine what goes on inside the walls of Jackie's horror show up there.

I'm actually actively trying to not think too much about anything anymore. Because I think I'm truly right next to schizophrenic. And I think if I lean into it anymore, now I'm done with weed. I'm never smoking weed ever again. What if you unlock the secrets of the universe? I know, but I can kind of see it me down like a little bit of a manic spiral where it's just like i can't i really can't give into it i think i'm a little too close to because i also think it's gonna happen schizophrenia develops in women

like late 20s and i feel like my brain is already kind of like, I could see how it would get there. And I'm afraid to like, I'm truly, I looked up the symptoms and I'm like truly afraid. I'm not that I hear voices. What are the symptoms? Because I bet you also,

these symptoms can be applied to like, just like you have a little bit of anxiety and you overthink things. I mean, the symptoms made me feel better. It's also like most people with schizophrenia don't like know that they have schizophrenia. So like for me to be so worried about it and like so self-aware about it is a good sign apparently but sometimes i just get carried away like the other day like even on the episode when i was listening back i was like oh my god i sound like

a crazy person you know so it's like well but you can be crazy not be schizophrenic like schizophrenic is like multiple personalities and like you don't have don't have, like, you have, like, a split. You have, like, a fracture, and you're, you know, you can't even tell, like, what's real and what's not, right? Yeah, but, like, I don't know if I believe that this is real. You know what I mean? And so if I let myself. It is just a torture show up there for you, huh?

I cannot explain how much it's, like, when I let my brain get going, like I, you can't stop. If I, if I really were to like take drugs and like lean into it, I would be, I'd be a full crazy person. Or is it the opposite?

Is it like what you need is an ayahuasca trip that would like ease, like you would actually have the answers. Yeah. But then it's like, okay, then what I figure out the universe, like what am I going to do with that? I've always thought that myself.

Like I don't necessarily want the ayahuasca trip to then let me know that, like, I really care about this podcast. And all that YouTube shit I was talking about, all that video shit I was talking about, I would come back and be like, none of this matters. Yeah. Because I've seen the light. And I've seen that, like, what really matters is, like, feelings and you're getting sleep at night Jake Cole yeah like what what I don't want to I don't if I can't do anything about it like you said yeah I don't want to know that's why ignorance is bliss on all these things that's why it's like don't tell me anything that I can't do don't tell me about the time you cheated if I can't do anything with it don't tell me about the secrets if i can't put it into action don't tell me what really matters in life because then i'm going to

stop caring about all the other shit in life yeah like even even like the homeless guy on my street who i don't actually believe is the one you hooking up with or what oh no this is the one that that doesn't look like a real homeless guy oh i think he's like a spy yeah so then i'm like spying on you specifically no no no just like in general got it i don't actually think that but then i'm like okay so let's let's say like i i get to the bottom of it and i figure out he's a spy then what now what now what am i gonna do with that information like i don't have any kind of benefit and at at best people then i look really schizophrenic telling everyone like there's a spy and he's after me and he lives on my street so it's like at there's nothing i could do with that information other than just kind of be like all right yeah yeah you know i mean yeah that's the thing is like

everything in life is it's a fine line between crazy and like right yeah you know so it's like if you know i i think with the guy being like i'm the messiah down in the subway it's like that guy's fucking crazy yeah well i don't know a couple thousand years ago that was a guy in the subway saying that people believed him and then it you know it's like who's to say yeah i i think uh too much knowledge is for sure a thing even like on like on a basic level. Like I remember Kate Beckinsale. Kate Beckinsale has like a 150 IQ. And she was like, I can't even date any like normal guys because like I just – I'm thinking – it's like Oppenheimer when he like couldn't have a kid because he was like, I am thinking about like splitting atoms and like how the fucking universe is put together.

And I don't want to like change diapers because it just doesn't jot you know it doesn't click with my brain yeah so i'd rather just live a very average life without knowing all that shit yeah i was saying before like if i do like let's say i'm right about the universe this is not the body or the lifetime for me to actually make a difference because like i'm a woman and who's gonna listen to a woman you know what i mean like there's not there's not really enough of a you think if you were a dude and you crack you crack the case that like what if i was a tall man i would have a much better chance what would you what would you do if you were a tall man and you cracked the case and figured out like the secret to the world what would you do like say something with you know i would i would go on a podcast i would make it i would get a clip of it black and white

and i'd put some inspirational music behind it there you go now we're taking and then everyone would believe me and have millions of views or you could just be lumped in with all these other dickhead inspirational podcasters. No, no, no. You get some inspirational music. You put it black and white. You have one of those quote cards before that says a quote.

Let's do this right now. What do you think life is about? And we'll put some black and white music behind it. What do I think life is about? Let's start the sentence with life. I think life is about? Yeah. Give me like a, let's start, like start the sentence with like,

life, I figured out the key to life. Go. I don't think, I don't think I could ever speak concisely enough for me to have one of these. That is true.

Our goal, by the way, for 2024. Is to get one of these quotes from me? Yes. And to, to,

to speak concisely and get it out yeah yeah we got it we gotta get it out sister but here's the thing is like what i'm just coming to terms with like i've never been good at forming sentences that's never been my thing like getting out a concise sentence not your bag not my bag some people i watch them they do it gracefully i say i can't do that for me it's not me like it's not me getting out a full sentence well not me well let's okay well let's practice right now and just say the key to life is just say what you think the key to life or it doesn't the key could be the secret however you want to start it just start with the of life is and go the key to life is to just

party rock i love that love that. Love that. It's going to be a quick clip. Yeah. It does be a quick song. Can you expand on what party rock means a little bit? It's just honestly that sounded cool. Ironically, you said you couldn't get out a sentence and then you got out the shortest and most concise sentence of all. Yeah, I know.

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And get your first mystery gift sent to you today What's up KFC? Fights? Jackie Paves? I'm in kind of a no good deed goes unpunished kind of thing going on. I lost 50 pounds recently, and one of, I guess, the side effects of it is I got, you know, boosted testosterone.

So it's like I'm in middle school over again because i'm getting boned up just at the weirdest times driving a trader joe's feel it coming now i'm sitting here in my car waiting just so i can go inside so i guess my question is uh what's something that you've done for the greater good, but had shit consequences? This guy with his Pinocchio dick over here. I just edited an old interview where you said that you had the same thing. I said that? You were saying that you were scared because we were all driving to Boston, and it kept happening to you. Oh, sometimes, yeah, when I drive in the car, my dick gets hard, yeah.

I don't know if it's like the engine humming or whatever. to Boston and it kept happening to you. Oh, sometimes. Yeah. When I drive in the car, my dick gets hard. Yeah. Yeah. I don't know if it's like the engine humming or whatever, but. Planes for me is takeoff. Planes. Planes. I don't know if it's the, the like altitude or something. Yeah. I think it is altitude.

Yeah. Yeah. Maybe that's it. The blood flow. Yeah. Plane goes up. Dick goes up. It's crazy. That's funny.

Cause I start like crying. Like the second plane takes off for some reason. I don't know why it says. Are you, cause you're afraid of flying or because you're crazy no just because like emotional like emotions for some reason I get really emotional okay so maybe that maybe we're all just feeling emotions yeah mine is mine is uh you know me and pads are over there being horny but everybody feels you know like and playing girl was feeling like rage I don't know everyone's just all their emotions are heightened. Yeah, it brings up.

I mean, it makes sense. We throw all of us in a fucking tin can and throw us 30,000 feet in the air. Who knows what can happen? I mean, that is a funny thought to be like, I'm going to get in shape, and I'm down 50 pounds, and it's just I got this fucking loaded gun everywhere I go. I can second that. When I start working out again, it's like every morning is a fucking disaster. Really? It's like I can't even sleep.

Wait, so when you're going to bed or when you're waking up? When you're waking up, but like I'm waking up at 6 a.m. now. But it's not just like normal morning wood. But it's like it's extra. You could just tell, yeah, this thing could cut bread. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, you know when you have like a good one. Versus like this

one, you know, I better get it in now because it's going to go down in a minute. Exactly, yeah. Do boners for you guys always equal horny? No. No, no. Yeah, those morning ones are just like, I have to do this. I mean, as you get older, the random boners will stop. We'll taper off a lot more.

I remember my buddy who broke his neck. We were not sure where he was gonna have feeling and where he's gonna you know and it was because it was from the neck down and like day two or three in his recovery his dick got hard really and it was such a moment it was like we still have such a long way to go but but random boners are back, baby. It was great. That's awesome. Yeah, no. Not all boners are created equal.

Some boners are born out of horniness. Some boners are born out of... I don't even know what. I wonder what it is that makes random boners pop off it's all blood flow and because it is a little bit pinocchio though it's like once my dick starts to perk up it's like well then i start thinking about you know what i mean yeah so it's like the initial start was not out of like sexual thoughts but as soon as it starts to get there you only you start thinking about that and the more you think about it, the harder it gets. Right. You're fucked. So it's really just the...

What is your boner born out of? Because your boner crosses the finish line with horny thoughts. But the initial boned up is like, it could be, you know, you're in math class, and it could be like you're watching porn. But I guess

this guy, I guess maybe when you are losing weight or some shit what he's talking about he's working out and your your glands and whatever are producing testosterone like it just also dick hard so it's like hey you're working out so you need more testosterone in your body that also means your dick's gonna get hard it's a tough one to have though that's tough to just be like i'm in trader jo. Got to flip it up in my waistband. Like, nobody knows. You're just pushing your cart, and you're grabbing your bread and all that.

It's like, if I reach too high, you might see the top of my dick. Who knows? Got to have that shirt long enough. Can't wear a crop top. No crop tops. What would you have done that day if you got a random boner gone home did you see ricky martin now ricky martin was on stage and just his dick got fully boned up and i can't blame him because he had gay strippers like i mean this one guy is rubbing his

face on ricky martin's dick i was like yeah i mean a gay guy is gonna get his fucking dick hard if this gay guy was rubbing his face on his dick while another. I was like, yeah, I mean, a gay guy is going to get his fucking dick hard. If this gay guy was rubbing his face on his dick while another gay guy was behind that dude, like, pretending to fuck him. And I was like, go to TMZ. Ricky Martin, Bone, or TMZ. You will for sure see it. And it was like one angle was like, maybe that's a pants tent. And then the second angle was like, that's a dick that's flopping around on stage

which I don't know to if you're Ricky I feel like you gotta just be like live in La Vida Loca baby like it's party rock what can you do? It's kind of crazy that like the amount that I've heard that guys like you know they have to do the waistband thing or like

whatever I've never noticed a boner in the wild well because we're to do the waistband thing or, like, whatever. I've never noticed a boner in the wild. Well, because we're hiding in the waistband. Yeah, exactly. But, like, you guys do a good job. Yeah. I'm saying blah, blah. Like, if you don't do that, you get put on a list.

Yeah, that's a good point. Did you ever have a very apparent, like, in high school or middle school, like, do the problem on the board? I don't think I ever had that. Because also, at the end, I just, like, I didn't. Yeah, yeah i had one very specific one but i went to a catholic school so we had belts so you couldn't really do the top you have a tucked in shirt and a belt all of a sudden you just have like a bulge around your stomach gray pants oh that is tough what'd you do i went up there hugged the board yeah turned around it went it went away by the time i solved the problem and

everyone was like why is your face right right now yeah that's that's that pinocchio you can't lie like i don't know something's happened uh while we're on the topic michael porter jr went on the no lana rhodes went on michael porter jr's show uh. MPJ is a basketball player, and Lana Rhodes is a porn star, former porn star, who at one time, I believe, was the hottest girl in the world, now has turned into some sort of futuristic dystopian.

She looks like the chick from The Big Lebowski, to be honest. She was on a deal with us later on in 2024. Yeah. It looks like something like, oh, maybe that's what's going to be hot in the future, but I don't know what happened. So we'll play the clip here.

But Michael Porter Jr. basically says that all these guys in the NBA are used to fucking so many chicks that they fuck his words, not mine, and do all these weird fetishes. Lana Rhodes chimes in with eating cookies. Oh, yeah. Poop in cookies.

I mean, that is... I get when people say, like, it's only natural. It's like when you are young, you'll watch, like, any porn and any sort of sexual activity you you love yeah then you get older and it's like all right like that's kind of lame like i don't want to do that anymore i want to do this i want to try this position and then i want to put it in there instead of in the hair and then let's maybe you introduce another person you start to do these weird things and it all makes sense because you're just you're you know it's like anything else it's's like if you eat the same food every day, it gets boring. If you watch the same show every day, it gets boring.

You need new stuff. But some things, like to me, man, it's caramel cone ice cream. Like I can eat that every single day and I'm a happy man. So I reach a level where I need it to be pretty weird. Don't get me wrong. It's got to be some weird stuff. But then when it hits that point, it's caramel cone ice cream for the rest of my life. I could do that stuff every day forever.

And every time I'll be like, that was cool, man. Imagine like the Nuggets PR team. You are a role player on a team that's going to win a bunch of championships. Absolute nightmare. You don't need to have a podcast but i mean they're not even saying the word let alone saying my peers are fucking uh but i i mean and maybe maybe i'm just being naive maybe it is like maybe if i just spent all my money and time fucking girls and partying. All roads lead to like, well, I'm going to try it with a dude or I'm going to try it with a – I actually – that stuff I could see being like – I don't know. You have a threesome with a bunch of girls and then all of a sudden you have a threesome with a guy and things were like, okay, I don't know.

Maybe I'll try that. Eating a shit cookie is where you know it's like okay you wanted to pee on someone or get peed on i don't know we we all do weird stuff with bodily fluids when we're having sex that's a bridge that a lot of people don't cross but you did you you're interested in guys like plenty of people are you want it to be rough whatever where does that go to I want to eat a shit cookie? That's crazy. What does that mean?

Because also all of your weird fetish stuff happens, at least for me, like in the heat of the moment. Whereas a shit cookie, you got to think about it. Someone's got to bake it. Someone's got to shit into the fucking dough and then cook it. Cooking poop is crazy. You got to move after the fucking dough. Awesome. And then cook it. Cooking poop is crazy. You got to move after that. Nuts.

Is it saying like they're adding like flour and sugar and- I'm picturing that you make the dough and then someone shits in the dough and then you bake the cookies. That's what I think it is. That's insane. Insane. And that's such a long process to be like, what am I doing? Right. That's what i'm saying you have so many opportunities to be like never mind i'm just gonna like like

here's uh we we used to have the mantra on the podcast many many years ago was just jerk off jjo when you have some bad thoughts when you have some some you're gonna do something that's that's gonna fuck up your life when you're gonna do some questionable shit just go jerk off and if you still want to do it after you've cleared the pipes then you know that you actually want to do that most often you're going to go okay never mind I don't want to do that anymore I guarantee most often times

if you come before you eat the poop cookie you'll be happy you didn't eat the poop cookie I guarantee that I guarantee come before you eat the poop cookie, you'll be happy you didn't eat the poop cookie. I guarantee that. I guarantee the majority of poop cookie eaters if they came first would not eat the poop cookie. There's still going to be a couple freaks.

Lana Rhodes is there and she's like, open up the box. She's like, this is a cookie made with my poop. And there's going to be some freaks out there who still apparently eat it. But the most of you guys will come the box like this is a cookie made with my poop and there's gonna be some freaks out there who still apparently eat it but the most of you guys will come and be like get that poop cookie out of here what are you fucking doing the post-nut clarity of a poop cookie the worst is the i mean once you eat it and then come and then you're like yeah that's you gotta clean up i've got

i got a poop cookie in my stomach brush your. It's like you probably want to get it out, but you don't want to throw up the poop cookie. Oh, my God. And you take a shit and you get the poop cookie in your – Oh, my God. I mean, it's just a fucking – I mean, that is – I don't kink shame, but I do kink shame. I am full-blown kink shaming if you eat cookies with shit in them because that's i just it's just not even sexual like even again even if you're into the peeing and shit it's like you're doing weird things to someone else's body maybe it feels good for them i don't know what about like we're just

sitting here what we're having sex we're not like foreplay and you just eat a fucking cookie that smells and tastes like shit disgusting you deserve to be shamed we need a little more shame in this world that's the key to life is a healthy dose of shame voicemails next up all right john you're a mess jackie you gotta stop saying like great show first time long time gotta ask this question am i the asshole if every single time i do something or buy something i just go oh i'm stimulating the u.s economy it's fine even if i don't have the funds even if i'm not ready to go does that make me an asshole let me know what you think that's that's that. That's what we all do, right? My thing is when I am in a bad situation financially, I will spend more because I'm like, well, what's the point?

It's all gone. Exactly. Once I got below a certain level, there was a period of time where it got bleak. Right before I got money, I got to, like, $0. Like, I remember being, like, 30-something years old being, like, I have nothing to show for it. Like, I got $0. Didn't you check your credit and you were, like, shocked that you had, like, an $800 credit? Yeah, my credit is still good, though.

Because I don't really fuck around. That's how I lost all my money because i don't really fuck around like i just when i buy something i buy it out of cash so when the money goes the money goes but i remember being like i don't have any more money and it was like right before my my bonus came and i was like all right i'm good but there was like a week well i i really timed it out pretty fucking good i was like i got to get to like february and boy did i make it by the skin of my teeth um but once it got below a certain point i was like well i'm broke yeah so what's the what's the difference if i have like only a thousand dollars left in my bank account or

twelve hundred dollars left in my bank account buy those sneakers or whatever the fuck it was terrible way to think and i did kind of do that knowing that money was coming so you really shouldn't do that when you don't have actual money but um that that's more my vice is being like well what's another you know i'm doing it now even i know i'm in a better spot but it's just like oh like you know the landscaper comes like whatever he charges like fine and whatever this comes like here you know, the landscaper comes, like, whatever he charges, like, fine. And whatever this comes, like, here you go, whatever. It's already, it's a drop in the ocean. By the way, tax, taxes this year?

Brutal. Oh, this is right, it's year one. This is my big tax year. Because I got it, like, yeah, I think I got it at the end of last year, and then we deferred it. So, like, this is the big tax bill on all of my money, and it is fucking insane. Turning into a Republican. Yeah. I had already been one, brother.

But real hardcore Republican. You know what is unbelievable, I was thinking? And this is just so perfectly me. If Trump wins, he was president, stopped being president, I got my money, I paid my taxes, he resumed being president. Like, motherfucker. The only period of time in the last decade where I could have got raped with taxes and fucked by Democrats was when my money hit. If it was this time or that time, it would have been Trump being in there being like, keep all of it! Keep it all!

But no, of course my payout coincided with Sleepy Joe. Vote red, folks. Vote red. Alright, last voicemail. What's up, KC Radio crew? So today I'm here on business, okay? We need to give the people what they want.

What they want is Jackie. What I have are three potential pieces of Rip It Era merch. I've got three different designs for you to choose from on three potential pieces of merchandise. Alright, hit me up. Those aren't bad. I'm a freelance graphic designer with Insomniac. I'm available

almost all of the time. Scroll back. That's kind of my whole pitch. Big Bang, Viva. Keep going. There's some in blue. I think we've already designed some other Jackie merch.

We've already designed some other Jackie merch from some of her other phrases. Wait, but that girl is so good. She's so talented. You like that? Yeah. This is on me. I actually answered this DM that it was sent to us, but it was on a Sunday and I forgot about it. So, I mean, we'll take a look if we really like that.

It looks nice, but I don't like we gotta make sure. We have it already. What's that? We have it already. Yours is ready? We already have already. What's that? We have it already. Yours is ready? We already have something. Yeah, we already have something in the works. But if we like this better or whatever, we got to get on that, Jackie. We got to do that.

Yeah, I agree. Because we are in the rip-it era and we have to capitalize on it. I need people to send in their rip-its, whether they are failed rip-its or successful rip-its here's the deal send in your videos, in general by the way we need more videos, more voicemails these were great today, these were great questions

so send in voicemails video voicemails and anybody who has a great rip-it story or a failed rip-it story, we will decide on who the best is, and you will get free merch. Whether we put this out and you want it to be Rip It merch or you want any of our stuff, anything in the store, free merch to anybody who calls in with the best I-never-said-I-was-perfect-slash-Rip It story, whether you succeeded or failed. Because it is the party rock era for Jackie. And you're all going to go along for the ride with her on that one.

So share your stories because everybody's got them. And that's how we all know that we are – everybody out here is living the same life. It's funny to learn that everybody's living the same life basically. You can be rich or poor. You can have different jobs, live in different cities guy girl dating single whatever you also at the end of the day are kind of living the same life where you're all just stumbling through it and feel the same way about about certain things so uh get your videos in um thank you to that girl i like really yeah that's great stuff we'll we stuff. If we decide to move forward with that, we'll hit her up.

Anytime people have ideas for merch or content, if we do select your design or whatever, we'll pay you and we'll take care of you. So any ideas, always send them through. And let's get into our interview now. We got Akash Singh on KFC Radio. How old are you? I'm 35. And you? 39.

Just turned 39. Almost 40. You got the hair. All of us. God bless you. Bro, we were just talking about, would you rather have terrible hair, like George Costanza ring,

or terrible teeth? Terrible hair. You would rather have terrible hair. Yeah, teeth. It's just disgusting. Guys are crazy. Teeth is like... But I can still just... Yeah, but yellow, it says something about you. hair. Yeah, teeth, it's just disgusting. I think you guys are crazy. Teeth is like... But I can still just...

Yeah, but you're like yellow. It's like, says something about you. Hair is like, oh, that's unfortunate. Oh, yellow, I guess, is a little different. We were talking more crooked. Crooked, yeah, crooked's easier to fix. Yeah, we were... But like small, Matt, small teeth, like, what the fuck, dude?

You look like, yeah, like, you know what I mean? Bitty baked beans. You look like a rodent, you know what I mean? Yeah. But I don't know, man. There's something... I feel like when you have a head of hair, age at some point doesn't matter. You know what I mean?

As long as you've got hair, you're good. You won. Yeah. When you're a younger guy, it's like there's good looking and there's ugly. And this guy's jacked and you're not. And he's got eyes. And then you reach a point where it's just like there's hair and there's no hair and if you're on the right side of that

you're gonna get chicks you're gonna get a girlfriend you can find a wife all that shit that's all that matters in Gaslit yeah incredible special

thank you so much man so you do something that I think we've and pretty much you've been a driver on this that I'm surprised more comics don't do it maybe more do it

I just don't see them you had two ad reads in it. Yeah, it was an idea I got from Andrew, and then his same ad guy connected us with PrizePix. And basically, when I made this special, it cost way more than I thought it would cost. And I paid for it, and I

considered it an investment, it was fine. But it's a number that sits on you. And when you're single, financial fear isn't that real. I'm just like, whatever. Even when I was engaged to my wife and we weren't married,

I was putting so much into Bitcoin. I was like, I just believe. Let's just keep dumping just disgusting amounts of my percentage of net worth.

And then when this happened, I spent all this money, but now I have to consider her and I have to mitigate risk where I can. So we talked about trying to get it to a streamer and then my wife

was actually not that into that even though she's financially anxious. She was like, put it on YouTube. YouTube has always been good to you. These streamers, nobody gives a fuck. So she was into that

but I was like, okay, how can I mitigate the risk? And I made a deal with them if it gets a certain number of views which I'm still, it's a big number but I was like,

You're still out there. Still out there. Oh, you got a lot of reviews. I promise I'm a big number. We, which I'm still, it's a big, big number. But I was like. You're still out there. Still out there. Oh, you got a lot of reviews. I promise I'm a big number. We got to talk about your negotiation, dude. Dude, CPM ain't shit. Really. You're like, what, two million?

What did I, I'm at 1.9 now almost. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Dog, how many did you promise? Eight and a half. Eight and a half? In six months. In six months. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Oh, okay. Well, wait. So it's been out. It's a month tomorrow and a half? In six months. In six months, yeah. Oh, okay. Well, wait. So it's been out. It's a month tomorrow, and it's at 1.9. So I'm on pace. So we got to keep the ball rolling. Yeah, hope. Yeah, that's it.

Guys, please watch this fucking special. You're going to be doing press for the next five months still, bro. But the number of that I had to pay, dude, you're like, the comedy special shouldn't cost that much money. Right. And then they start throwing these figures at me as we're planning what we're going to do, and I'm like, what in the fuck? How are we multiple six figures?

What's happening? It's good. Sorry, I don't know. When I walked into the set the day before, I walked to the stage, I was like the musical, we rented out White Oak Musical and I look and I see all these people,

like 30 people just working to build a set and do the lights and all this different shit that you don't consider when you take on this project and you're like oh okay i see what this money is going toward but it's a big number so if i hit that number it will pay me that plus a little bit more not much but like okay cool we're good and then the youtube money is not crazy by any stretch but that'll help and then hopefully people want to come to shows after that yeah so the main thing is the tickets and all that right so yeah but those ad

breaks my guy kevin i don't think you guys have met him he films and edits all my content he was like yo you know we should do have your mom call you we'll put your mom in it we'll fly down to dallas we'll do whatever we need to do and i'm like that's fucking fire the second one then should be my wife because these are the two women who nagged me to death. Yep. So. You know, I'm glad you said that. I have two things I want to say. One, how did the crowd react? Like, did you do that in the crowd?

No, no, no, no. We filmed that after. Yeah. So we, dude, AI has gotten so crazy. You still have to give, like, the setup, right? No, AI has gotten so crazy that we filmed it on a green screen. Really? That set is AI behind me during the ad read.

That looks good. Yeah, and then we tried to find organic places to put it in. That's very cool. Where she calls, yeah, and then we faked the phone call. So we filmed it with me, and then my mom, I had to fly to Dallas, and I had to really coach her every line. I'd be like, say it again, say it again, say it again, say it again. It's great, though.

That's brilliant, man. It's funny. It's just like you just have to think of new ways yeah you know it's like this is how it's always done fine yeah

but what if we did it this way you know like just come up with a different spot for an ad read different way to do an ad read different place to put it truly happy with how it came out and I really think

I'm the worst actor in my family it's really funny because I'm watching myself like this guy sucks and I'm watching my mom like that's pretty good and I'm watching my wife

like you're actually very natural at this, and it really fucking annoys me. It really fucking annoys me. You had a line in the special that I thought was so good, and it wasn't that important to you, I don't think. But when you talk about your racist grandfather and how he wasn't always

racist he just refused to evolve yeah yeah yeah i thought that was like a very cool way to put it where it was like he wasn't always thought of as a racist guy he was a guy eventually you just become racist because of your thoughts but if you don't change with the world and i and i was thinking about how much i loved like your first half hour 45 minutes or so you did a lot of talk about your wife yeah and i thought it was like i feel like minutes or so, you did a lot of talking about your wife. Yeah. And I thought it was like, I feel like like older comics used to do a lot of like stuff about their wives and how they annoyed them and all that stuff.

Yeah, yeah. But when you do it, it's so clear how much you love her too that it comes off completely differently. It's not like the hacky. Yeah. The old ball and chain type shit. That was a big, actually I got that note one time. I did like a five-minute set, and it didn't go well,

and I made some jokes about my wife, and then this kid said to me, he's a friend of mine, and he was like, you know what's funny is you make these jokes about your wife, but what I don't think the audience understands is you also love your wife more than pretty much anyone I know. And that's not to say I'm like some fucking perfect husband. I don't want to make it sound like that. But I was like, oh, yeah, and that's something I had realized.

I just forget to apply it sometimes. You got to be three-dimensional in your bit. You can't just, every point of view you have, you have to also consider, what did they say, the steel man argument or whatever even. Like, what's the other side of this? So my wife is a pain in my ass. She also loves me in a way that I didn't know it was possible to be loved. I love her in a way I didn't know it was possible to be loved i love her in a way i didn't

know it's possible for me to love but she's a pain in my ass and i'll die all i can have and let's try to put all of that in there and then you're looking at me differently as opposed to just a guy who complains about his wife what also annoyed me is these guys who all they do is talk about how great women are and how like and they're yeah they're great but like let's talk about all of it and let's try to do it in a way and that's where i thought there was a kind of a maybe something that wasn't being done necessarily we're all talking about our wives but i didn't think there's a lot of like uh comics who are like contrarian driven who will also talk about the relationship in with hopefully that same kind of energy yes yeah no it was and then when when you said the line about evolving as a grandfather

and stuff like that i i like thought back on that and I was like, oh, that is the evolution of kind of Akash and that comedy. Thank you. You're the first person that's pointing. That's what I'm trying to show is what I'm hoping to showcase over the career is just like an honest reflection of me and how I grow as a person throughout my career. That's why I'm hoping it gets reflected naturally. Aging appropriately is so, so important. my career that's why i'm hoping gets reflected naturally aging uh appropriately that's fun yeah so so important especially like in this in this type of industry like if you want to play peter pan and stay young for life you could duck it seems so fun yeah i mean you could just be so

fun you know like like do whatever you want forever and and just let it be that way you know you see these comics who are out there and they're just like acting like chill and underneath all of it i'm sure it's empty but on the surface that shit is so fun no one to answer to they're out till six in the morning just slaying whatever pussy it's just traveling no one no one to answer to no financial responsibility anybody else it seems so fun. I'm sure they're sad at points, but I'm like, God damn, that's fun. I don't know, though.

At the same time, we've seen a couple acts that are... Yeah, that's true. Good point. Good point. We've seen a couple acts where someone's up on stage and they're just screaming at the crowd and mad. You can tell it's all because their act isn't going well. Yeah, I'd be doing that too.

And it's like, I'd be doing that. Oh, this seems like you got some problems and some issues. Oh, I was even thinking there is kind of like, you'll see some comics who are really funny and then, here's what I, this thing is not a complete meritocracy. You need luck. But you can get to a certain level off of skill if you don't get in your own way. And I see some comics who are so fucking talented, so funny, destroyed, but they don't get to that level.

And it's obvious they got in their own way. And then still seeing them after a 15-minute set at a comedy club, kind of hanging out, waiting for people to come up to them. I'm like, oh, that's sad. That one, I'm like, god damn, that's sad. You need that. Most comics, I got another spot to go to. I got a whatever. Some of these guys will just,

they're hanging out at the bar, then the show gets out and suddenly like, oof, let me go smoke a cigarette or whatever. And you're like, oh, you just want to be out there so people can tell you how funny you are. That's one of those where it's annoying when it happens naturally. When it stops happening naturally, you're like,

yeah, yeah, it's a good problem. Naturally is great, but when you're like, Yeah, yeah, it's a good problem. Yeah, yeah. Naturally is great, but when you're seeking it out inorganically, I find that a bit like, oh, there's something missing beyond it. There's something

that you're missing and I hope to not have that void. We have a void a little bit, but you know what I mean? Yeah, but I mean, you were, how old were you,

would you say, when things like really took off with Flagrant? Oh, I was old, dude. In 2017, we started Flagrant, so I was 33. That's not old, though, bro. 33 started. 2018 went broke because I was on these MTV shows,

and what I didn't count on is all of them being taken away at one year. Maybe they just looked at me, and they were like, he's old, I don't know. But I had like seven MTV shows. I wasn't making crazy money i was making like low six figures what do you mean you had seven i was on like guy code guy code versus girl code i had a voiceover on another show i was on a show called safe word i was on a couple other projects i think one was at netflix it was a show we shot independently and then netflix picked it up and i was like oh if they give a season two i'm out of here yeah and you think it's going to keep going up i'm 32 or whatever living not check to

check but year to year and i'm like all right this is going to be good i'm with my wife my my girlfriend at the time she moved into our place and then all of a sudden end of 2017 all the shows started suddenly getting canceled one by one so i went from making like a low six figures nothing crazy but six figures in 2017 to 2018, probably making like $4,000 for the whole year. I'm not even exaggerating. I'd be surprised if it hit $4,000, to be honest with you. And you're thinking, well, I got this big bushel of shows.

One gets canceled. You're like, yeah, but I got all these. Then another one gets canceled. I'm like, yeah, but I got these. And then one by one. And then the only show that didn't get canceled, they were like, we don't want you back. So I'm going broke. So 2018, we're doing flagrant.

My wife, financially anxious person, is like, what the fuck is going on? Like, are we, we're talking about getting married. Is this what it's going to be? I don't have an answer for her. I'm like, this flagrant thing, I think, this flagrant thing, I think. I believe in this. I believe in this. I believe in this.

Then I start wondering, like, am I just saying that because that's all I have left? And then luckily we started the Patreon because i went so broke we had to and that's 20 i was like october 2018 so end of 2017 till end of 2018 was rough but october 2018 i think i started being like okay i'm making enough to survive and then it went up on the patreon yeah and then it went up and up so your brokenness is what yeah led to your wealth yeah yeah dude sometimes you need like no safety net you know it's like there's no more fucking around yeah i don't know if i do it again that way but that is what that is now but was that you specifically or was like andrew in the same spot everybody was doing great andrew's starting

to blow up to be honest with you his whole whole ascension had begun. And so his plate was full. And the idea of doing another episode, and we were, like, extrapolating percentages of other patrons, and he was like, I don't know if it's going to make that much, man. Like, this is, you're asking me to do a lot of work for this. And then I went so broke, I said, I'm literally pleading with you at this point. Please. Wow.

He was going to, like, loan me money, and luckily I got a tax refund that was going to hold me over. But I was down to my last. And then I got a tax refund. I was like, I'm good. I don't my last and then i got a tax refund i was like i'm good i don't need the money thank you he was like i'm you need it let me know and i was like i'm good but i'm pleading with you let's start this patreon and then we started it and then he really was like got the idea of the community and it was a very like at the time there weren't a lot of people doing that like everybody on the patreon's help each other out if you sell cars and somebody needs a car hook them up like and then it just that was like the beginning of really building and being being like that's that is crazy to

think though because i i do think a big part of of your guys universe of success is that yeah and if there wasn't because you you can also a fan base is one thing a patreon where it's like people are paying for that extra episode but they really are almost investing yeah you know what i mean and when you have have the vibe of like, I love this comic and it seems like he needs some money. Like, let me help out. Yeah.

And it becomes that. That's what like that flagrant world is built on that. Yeah. I feel at least. And if it wasn't, if you didn't do that, who knows? I mean,

you know what I mean? Having that, that universe expand in that way all because you were like, we got to do something here. Yeah, that was a really, it worked out really well. Just the idea of having it be a community and like he would put like a long note

at the beginning every Sunday. He would just have like a note from Schultz to everybody. Oh, really? Just like, oh yeah, it was a really fucking cool thing. I think as you get busier, you kind of forget about these things.

But like, that'd be great to keep doing. From our point of view, like Barstool, in the very beginning, we were kind of the same way like grassroots and there was a

a fan base that like wanted us to succeed and when we started to get mentioned by like mainstream places and things like that it was like oh it's really working

that's so far gone now though like it's such a big company that like you don't you're never you're not the underdog ever again yeah yeah yeah even if you are even if you are like like cause at Barstool you can you're not the underdog ever again. Yeah. Even if you are,

even if you are like, like, cause at Barstool, you can, you're very segmented just because those guys over there are making a jillion dollars and on top of the world over here, you're still grinding, but you're part of this big company.

You know what I mean? Right. So you got to have the ability to play that, that card almost be in that role. But when you have the audience that like, we'll do it for you, it's like, holy shit mean that's that's everything right i mean that's yeah if you can as connected to the community is a lesson i'm trying to even carry forward is like as connected as to your fans you can be is great i'm just not good at like i try to give to my like when i'm if

i'm doing a meet and greet i try to to make sure that an interaction is not a fucking, Hey, shake my hand, take a picture. I'm not going to ask you about your dog, but like, Hey man, how are you?

I'm trying to give you energy. And that is exhausting. Dude, it really is over and over and over again. So there's times where I'm like, yo, I just, I don't have it in me.

I don't like, I don't, I don't think people get that. Yeah. Cause you hear stories about like when someone turns somebody down for an autograph or a picture or whatever. And it and it on the surface that seems a certain way and it's it's it's so different to that luckily i'm not famous enough to have not nearly famous enough probably to have ever turned anyone down for a picture like that but sometimes it's like

dude i'm like but but the will to like do it you know yeah it's like oh just just do a mean greed yeah whatever it's like no bro another especially do a mean greed after the show. Whatever. It's like, no, bro, another, especially when you start selling out the way you guys are, it's like, that's a lot of fucking people. Even at my level, at a club,

if it's sold out, that's three, 400 people. If they all want a thing, that's, I have to do that and then go to another show. Hey,

how are you? Like genuinely smile, genuinely give joy. And they just, I'm so thankful, but like, you know, you gotta build energy.

You have to do that. That takes an energy. Then go back, do another show and then do it again yeah and it's like yeah it's a it's a blessing these are amazing problems to have but sometimes i'm like oh i don't know maybe no meet and greet at the show if an audience doesn't give me much energy or if it's like they're like super drunk i'm like i'm not doing that the i have a hard time. I think I'm pretty good at the energy matching. But I always think I have a hard time interacting with fans because it's almost like it's a love you don't feel like you deserve. Not that they're like –

I get that. But I'm comparing that to a love from a singular woman, not like fans are treating you like the Beatles. But you're like, I don't know why you like me. Well, yeah, we have some self-esteem issues here. A little bit of imposter syndrome mixed with low self-esteem. Yeah. I actually don't, I don't think I have imposter syndrome. I think imposter syndrome gets a lot.

I throw that around. Like, yeah, I don't even. I like, I, I. Oh, wait, I actually think I do have imposter syndrome. I think, wait, imposter syndrome basically means like you don't think you are really deserving. It's like you're always scared of getting found out that you're oh that i don't feel like i like this is so hacky but this is six seven years ago i used to get called right before i would get called on stage at a comedy club i would think to myself my exact thoughts and i didn't even notice it until

like a lot of therapy but i would very quickly in my brain it would flash i hope they don't realize i'm a complete phony and then i used to listen to my sets and i would notice this like kind of frantic thing sometimes i couldn't figure out what it was and it would drive me crazy because i hated it about myself i knew i was losing it nobody else could really sense it but on some level they could but then i realized if i didn't get a laugh my brain would start going holy shit they're finding out i'm a fraud and i would start talking faster and cussing more and moving more. And I'm not saying that never happens now, but that was something I had to really key in on.

And now if the audience doesn't laugh or I think they'll laugh or if I say it, I kind of have to grab that part of my brain and be like, yo, it's cool. You're funny. Just give it time. And if this doesn't go well,

that doesn't make you not funny. And if it goes great, that doesn't make you automatically funny. You're funny because of a body of work. That's defines you not one show good or bad that's a lot of therapy i can feel like i mean we we don't have like a you know a set a routine that we've done that we do but when we've done podcasts yeah if i said something i thought was funny and it and it didn't land, like instantly can feel my body change. Like I start getting hot, sweat, like within seconds. Oh, it's the hottest place in the world.

Dude, I saw a clip of LeBron James getting interviewed by Stephen Smith. You remember Steve Smith, shooting guard for the Hawks. And LeBron at this – it's like 2012. He's peak of his powers. He makes a joke. He says something, laughs. Steve Smith doesn't laugh and he's like, so anyway.

That can happen to LeBron. If it happens to LeBron, it can happen to us. It's fine. It's okay. Have you listened to his podcast at all? Oh, I listened to the first episode. It's amazing. It's over my head, but it's amazing. I'm stunned by, first of all, they open up with J.J. Redd an intro of sorts yeah i get i want to get to oh i needed

that oh well i needed that to know what's going on you do need it yeah that's what i'm surprised by like it is so technical and i mean i guess you know they're pretty upfront about that being like we're talking about the game of basketball here but but it is like you're talking x's and o's like you're in a film session with these guys yeah when um i'm i thought it was going to be more i don't know i don't know how much of an audience there is for that like people love basketball but on that level like you really got to know your shit i even understand what they're talking i also think because it's lebron you're drawn you know like i want to hear or any of it yeah and we never hear that but i would like to hear him more talk about like his life and like being like what it's like to be a professional

basketball player more than like the plays he was running i think we'll get that down i was yeah it's like episode three any podcast where you start like we gotta talk about our topic and then every podcast just yeah podcast host life right because when they were when they do lighten up they're talking about watching their own highlights. I thought that was very cool. JJ Redick was like, we've all been there where you're in a slump and you go on YouTube and you type in and JJ Redick down to a, it's obviously two different questions.

Oh, he has crazy requests. But he has down to a specific game. He was like March 27th, like in Detroit, like I put up 27 points and I watched like that specific game. And I actually almost feel like LeBron was kind of throwing him a bone, being like, yeah, yeah, yeah, we all watch our highlights. To get back on track, I think he's like, I don't. I barely need to do that.

I've seen an extended version of that clip. Oh, yeah? And JJ doesn't let LeBron off the hook. Yeah, he says, we all do it, we all do it. But I got the impression listening. I wasn't watching, so I listened to that. Watching it,

LeBron kind of, he's laughing, he's like, it looks like someone got his hand caught in the candy jar. That's great. That to me

is more interesting than like, you know, so like, X5 comes up and sets the back screen and you gotta... We had JJ on the pod,

he was awesome, but I loved him before that. I think he was like, sorely missing in sports analysis. Guys like that. The modern day. Athletes talking about the game without just having hot takes to have hot takes so they can stay on the air. And at the fucking nuance level, I was like, I said to him,

you might change the trajectory of what sports analysis is. And I think that was probably overstated. And he was like, I do think I filled a void that was needed. And I think talking about the game with nuance. Because, like, Kendrick Perkins is so funny to me, but he just saying crazy shit. Well, we were talking about

the other day with Paul Pierce where there was a headline from Paul Pierce. I love that, like, Julius Randle will bone you. Him and Kevin Garnett going back and forth. So funny. That's the thing. I think it was an awful announcing post.

And it was like, Paul Pierce says bizarre thing on ESPN. Yeah. And I was, like, thinking about all the other things Paul Pierce does when he's not on ESPN. Yeah. And it's him just, like, shit-faced with KG. Like, yeah, every time he goes on ESPN, he says something bizarre like a drunk man would. Yeah. Yeah.

He's been built like an alcoholic since 2004. I don't know why we're shocked he drinks. That one clip where he's on a live stream talking about like hiring girlfriends for the night. And KG is like, so we live here. We're live on the show. And he's like, you can get these girls like for free basically. So we are live. We are live. I show. And he's like, you can get these girls for free, basically. So we are live. We are live.

I didn't see this clip. It's so good. He's talking about hiring girlfriends for the night. And he's like, there's so cheap, dude. If you are a professional basketball player and black and not in phenomenal shape, a guard, you've got a drinking problem. I'm convinced there's something going on. There's no way you're just black in a professional athlete basketball

a guard, a two guard, a swing a two three. He always was like not. And you're not. Yeah. And you should look like Kobe. All these guys are like flying high and chiseled and he was always just like I'm going to shoot from the extended elbow and hit it every time. And then you know go to

He gets stabbed what like 12 times outside of club. Yeah, probably drunk. Probably started a fight. You think Paul Baby didn't say something to deserve 12 stabbings? You can get a fight where someone stabs you, and you're like, dude, that was over the line. If he got stabbed 12 times, you probably had said some shit. We are victim-blaming like a motherfucker here. I'm a Paul fan, but the probably had said some shit. We are victim blaming like a motherfucker here.

I'm a Paul fan. But the guy said some crazy shit. You deserve it. I remember, I mean, I feel like in the beginning, flagrant was very like basketball heavy. A lot of sports. It was. Which I miss at times.

I love the pod, obviously, but I do miss the sports talk. I love football. I love the NFL. A lot of cowboys. Oh, can I tell you how much I fucking hate the cowboys? But yeah, so the pod was like a sports thing, and then when did that change? Yeah, I think sports, the idea initially was,

because y'all never liked sports as much as I did, but the idea when we started talking about doing a pod is like, the politics, I don't know if you, 2016, it was just so loud. Trump had just won the election. It was so loud, so noisy politically. Everything was political. And it still is now, but not, 2016 was even more. So we were thinking sports fans kind of just leave all this shit alone. And then early on, I remember being like, we should start saying some of our crazy jokes.

And he was like, we'll start having an opportunity. It'll come. And he had been doing brilliant 80s for like five years at that point. So we just kind of started doing more and more and more jokes and then just kind of morphed into a comedy pod, which I think was kind of the idea initially, but sports was the Trojan horse. We see it all the time, man. That's kind of what I think with sports was the uh trojan horse yeah we see it all the time man it's

like that's kind of what i think with lebron yeah yeah yeah one of the worst things for us that we never had our trojan horse it's like everybody here started a hockey podcast and then they started talking about chicks and partying and going yeah and it became funny the golf guys they talk about golf but then they're talking about you know hypothetical situations in fucking outer space yeah and we were always just kind of already that from the jump but having that that initial thing of like i like that i'll listen to that and then you're all of a sudden you know years later you're like wait a minute we're not even talking about yeah i initially came here for yeah yeah there was such a boom with that too it was like perfect timing i mean yeah yeah that

comedy you think we've reached a saturation point? I hope not. But I do kind of look at it like how many, how much, and this is, I guess, a scarcity thing my brain is doing where it's like, how many more comics are they going to have arena shows? Yeah. Bro, I said that too. It's like, I mean, arenas are arenas, but there's a level. It's weird. It's like, it used to be like three guys can do it. Yeah.

And now, like, a lot of people can do it yeah and now like a lot of people can do it yeah yeah yeah you know and so part of me is like if you can i mean ball don't lie sort of thing right if you can sell that many tickets you can sell that many tickets and the one thing i'm kind of hoping that because i the 80s comedy went crazy and their stand-up comedy apparently just went nuts and in the 90s it kind of just like died out and what i try to remind myself is there were still comics that got famous in the 90s i mean chris rock was 95 yeah like that was the 90s yeah late 90s yeah chapelle was late 90s so like there will still be people that pop and it might not be the same but i also think there might be more sustainability just because comedy has acquired a fandom like there's just a much bigger

contingent people were like no i'm a stand-up comedy fan this isn't like a novel thing anymore it's i'm just into it yeah and i liked i love the subculture of the comedy podcasts and the subculture of comedy podcasts has gotten so big there's a sub subculture people just criticize comedy yo it's crazy it's i think it's like sports and then comedy like you have your comics that you like the same way you have your athletes your teams that you like yeah and you root for them and you root against the other ones that they like don't fuck with. Yeah. You make commentary on it. You talk about it.

Like it's its own ecosystem at this point now the same way. There's going to be fucking fantasy comedy at some point. You're going to draft your fucking favorite comics. I mean like once these motherfuckers realize that like you can get a lot of views on YouTube just talking shit. Yeah. And I think these commenters and these trolls basically figure that out now. Yeah. So it's like they're going to keep doing this shit.

And it's going to be a whole subculture, like you said, of just talking about these people. Yeah. Which is kind of crazy. My mom was just telling me about how some of the restaurants around them are starting to have open mic nights with dinner. Where is this? In Westport, Massachusetts. Okay, okay. And I was kind of like,

I was like, all right, that might be the end. I think we've hit it. We've hit our breaking point. I think you're absolutely right. Like when, first of all, when industries outside of that industry start seeing the financials that can be held by it, you start to worry.

And then when like just every Joe Schmo thinks they can do it, then you're like, yeah, all right. It might be, uh, yeah, yeah,

yeah. It'd be coming, coming up. Bill might be coming due soon. I know. At the same time, though, I feel like the industry is still fucking absolutely booming,

so you can't... I'm hoping it lasts as long as it can. What I've always also thought is, for me, obviously, my identity, my ethnicity, my nationality, I'm Indian, right? Indian-American.

So that's always been very important to me, and I've always felt like, once Indians, for everybody I've seen that gets famous, or I'm Indian, right? Indian American. So that's always been very important to me. And I've always felt like once Indians, for everybody I've seen that gets famous, that's South Asian, collectively Indians or Desis kind of decide, they're like, no, that's our guy.

For me, I just need to get exposed to enough of them for them to be like, oh, that, that guy's there. Oh, that's our guy. And then you're out of here for like,

there's, we're not crazy in numbers, but typically once we find out somebody like everybody else likes you and you're brown, we're like, oh, if you guys like there's we're not crazy in numbers but typically once we find out somebody like everybody else likes you and you're brown we're like oh if you guys like them we love you don't think you're there not necessarily no because like it's a difference of like i'm talking like 30 000 tickets in a city yeah versus yeah right right 3 000 or whatever i think you're on your way it's a 10x multiplier that's what i'm hoping for that was the only reason i was considering a streamer really because there's a weird thing with. That's what I'm hoping for. That was the only reason I was considering a streamer, really. Because there's a weird thing with South Asians.

Maybe a lot of African immigrants feel this way, too. But external validation means a lot. If you ask definitely South Asian parents, would you rather your kid make $120,000 a year and go to Harvard or $190,000 a year and go to community college? They'd be like, Harvard. Wouldn't even fucking think twice. So I think I've seen this, like Aziz, I saw Aziz for years.

I mean, because I was a comic, so I just knew of him. None of my brown friends gave a fuck about Aziz. Then when those late night clips started kind of going viral, they were like,

oh, he's our guy. And then he went from theaters to MSG twice. Like the gap was crazy. Theaters is, if you're doing two theater shows, that's 5,000 seats maybe. Maybe. Big theater. MSG twice. Like, the gap was crazy. Theaters is, if you're doing two theater shows, that's 5,000 seats maybe.

Maybe. Big theater. MSG twice is 25,000 seats. Crazy. Again, 10x. And it went fast. Yeah, the first one for sure went fast. Second one, I'm not as sure,

but even one that's 14,000. No, I mean the jump went fast. Oh, the jump, yeah. It seemed like in a year to me. That's what it seemed like. Wild. So that's what I'm still feeling like. That's the thing.

Once I get them, because I feel like authentically I'm for us without, it's not, you're not a demographic to me. I mean, it would help me and I'd love that, but I'm truly trying to do it for everybody, but also to represent as well at all times. I'm going to get you on one thing you're going to say. Let me just say, I think I told you, right? I'm going to get you on one thing. You're going to say that. I'm like, let me just say,

I know. I think I told you, right. I've known this guy for years, so I have different reasons for it. I know him. What about, um, this is,

this is a ham fisted, uh, segue, but I got to talk about, I don't know what ham fisted means, but I trust you. The, that,

that white chick in the front row. That was one of the most incredible things. Oh, the albino Pakistani girl. Dude, she was suffice. She was so sweet. I'm so glad that it's being received well and nobody's like... I was just looking at her.

I thought it was a brown guy with a white girl and I'm just asking questions. And then she said, and I was like, this white bitch is crazy. That is crazy. I was like, you bitch, dude. I fucking is crazy. I was like, you bitch, dude.

I fucking hated it. I was so angry. And then when she said she was Pakistani, that's when I kind of realized, oh, okay, probably albinism or something. But that's not a funny thing to acknowledge here. So you just try to have as much fun with it as you can. And I was unbelievably...

So that was the second taping. What chances is that? I was like, what? An albino Muslim girl? What are you talking about? If it was any other show taping, it wouldn't have been as funny because I did four tapings

and then you piece together the funniest moments. First taping, I'm dumb nervous. It's the first taping, 17 years I've been doing stand-up. It's all going to this. And I hit enough beats

in the first taping that I was like, in the next three, we're good. So I have one more taping that night, and I remember saying to Kevin, my camera guy, I was like, yo, I'm so not nervous, I'm getting a little nervous how relaxed I am. Because I just knew I hit like 98% of my marks, and we had more than enough for the next three shows.

So that show I was like super relaxed, almost to a fault, I thought. But then when that happened, like me just leaning forward and crouching down, I was like, let me just have fun with this because we got it. And then weirdly, everybody after that second show was like, that was the best show. The third and fourth are going to be even better.

And then I started feeling pressure like a loser. Well, these got to be better. So those weren't as good. But that second show, if it was any other show that happened, I don't think that moment would have been as good. That was great. Honestly, it never struck my mind that she

was albino until right now. I just thought she was like a white woman. I could be wrong. That was my thought. She probably has albinism. And so sweet. Just a beautiful girl. Good looking guy. Like a nice little couple. Cute. Just adorable. And I'm glad it's not. Because I was

worried people would think I was being mean, or they might make comments, and, like, everybody's been great. It's very rare you get a YouTube video where the comments are pretty much all good. The worst I'm hearing is, like, Pakistani's not a race or whatever. I'm like, who gives a fuck? That has nothing to do with anything. That's good. That's awesome.

We got to get that 8 million. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, tell people. You got an Indian friend. Tell him to tell his friends or her. Before I let you go. Eclipse time, baby. It's eclipse time.

Also, we've got to do, I wanted to say, we're going to do a dinner. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We've kind of gotten like a will they, won't they thing going now. I know, dude. I kind of don't want to ruin that. I know. But you did come to the show, which is very sweet. I remember we had a show after last time I was on here at Caroline's.

You came. That was very sweet of you. I think you had family stuff, but you came, which is very sweet. And we'll get this dinner. Sushi or something. I think I declared hip-hop fully dead after J. Cole apologized to me. Oh, yeah. But you were on J. Cole's side.

How do you feel? Do you feel betrayed? Well, I'm not a J. Cole guy. I like J. Cole, but I don't really like either of them, so I was kind of an impartial... I just think that the way people were acting... People were acting like Kendrick Lamar spit the greatest battle

rap of all time, when he was like, stop talking about me in the big three. That's all he really said. And then I thought J. Cole brought up some interesting... I think there is some talk. I think there's some validity to, like, he has a good discography, but do people really play it? Do you listen to it?

I know it wins Grammys. I thought there was something there. So I was more leaning towards J. Cole's side. If I was, like, a diehard J. Cole guy and I was, like, arguing and fighting

and then he did that shit, I would be like, I'm never listening to you again. I know. It's the craziest fucking thing I've ever seen. It's good for him, I guess, and his peace of mind.

I don't give a fuck. Fuck that. Also, I was saying, if this was one of those battles that's dangerous or bad for the culture or whatever, I could understand someone being like, I don't want to do this. I make money. I have a good life. I'm not getting involved in gang shit or violence or whatever. This is like what you do in hip hop.

I also do remember thinking during that first person shooter verse, I honestly think I remember being like, he does feel like he's leaving Kendrick out of some of this stuff. Like the Spider-Man meme is me looking at Drake. I think I remember listening to it. But then he said the big three. Yeah. If you're on a song with two people and you're bringing in a third, I feel like you're almost going out of your way to mention him.

Yeah. But I still remember being like, yeah and you're bringing in a third, I feel like you're almost going out of your way to mention him. Yeah, but I still remember being like, yeah, you're mentioning him, but then you're saying, that Spider-Man meme thing was when I was like, ooh, because you're mentioning him,

but now you're not. Yeah, yeah. So I remember thinking, ah, that could be received, and then he had a line that said the word steppers. I forget what it was, and maybe that,

because Mr. Morales, and yeah, Mr. Morales, I guess, I just feel like also, if that song was better received over the weekend he ain't apologizing you know what I mean

that's interesting like if everyone was like yo you killed him the vibe was pretty much like you know some people on the side some people not but most of it was like

you know as an objective viewer I didn't listen to the song but I did read a line or read a few the it seemed like he was just like hey you're pretty good man well that's the Objective viewer, I didn't listen to the song, but I did read a line or read a few. It seemed like he was just like, hey, you're pretty good, man. Well, that's the problem when you're being – He was like, your first song was a classic and then your third song –

Your second song was really good. Your third one, I won a couple Grammys, sure. Well, in his apology, he's like, I was trying to take jabs and think of an angle to come at my guy, but he just likes him. He's a fan. You know what I mean? It's hard. The whole battle was doomed from the jump if you don't actually really hate each other. Because it's like, yeah, man, you were really, really good.

But also that one time I didn't think you were the best. I also saw a clip. That can't be your fucking battle. I'm not a huge hip hop. I'm 40 and I'm not black. So I feel like hiphop for me to stay up like really into it i almost feel like a goofy but these are our guys these are yeah this is you know i was a jay-z growing up with that but this i was like look i don't make it through most kendrick

albums i don't but what i love about kendrick that control verse and this where he's like no i'm the fucking best and i'm going to say it on tape to everyone. I don't care. It's not even hate. I'm the best. I love that shit. And I felt that was the energy he had and his response was like,

it's just big meat. Even the way he, if you listen to it, the way he delivers it was with so much passion and J. Cole, it's kind of dispassionate, his response.

It's factual. It's making a lot of sense, but like, it doesn't hit you here. The Kendrick shit, I think people thought he won just because he says it with his fucking chest. Yeah, I feel that. But I did see, I'm also not much of a rap guy. I particularly was not a J. Cole guy.

I never really heard a song that moved me, so to speak. But I saw a clip of him after all this with Nardwar. Did you see that? Oh, where he put Kendrick on. He put Kendrick on, and I thought that was very cool. And I thought it was very cool the way J. Cole handled it in the sense where he's like, look, I'm not saying I was the first guy. I don't even know if Dre cared that I told him. But yes, I told Dre, you should get this kid.

Yeah, he seems like a great guy. It's tough to be like, I like you, man. I don't want to fucking do this. It's also tough because Dre's not going to respond. So we've been waiting for this battle for 10 years. It's not going to happen because Drake has more to lose. And I'm a Drake hater just because I feel like I can't. Drake, I want to live vicariously through my rappers.

I'm sure that's if you grew up in a suburb. It's like, I didn't live this. I want to know what it's like. But Drake is like, you know, I can't live vicariously. I don't care to live vicariously through fucking a bunch of girls. I'm going to live v's like. But Drake is like, you know, I can't live by, I don't care to live by Kersie through fucking a bunch of girls. I'm going to live by Kersie through DMX.

Yeah. So I've always kind of hated on Drake. I acknowledge he's a lot of people's goat and he's probably going to be widely considered the greatest ever

when it's all, you know, in five years. But I just want, I want somebody to fucking, and I don't think he has anything to gain by responding. So he's not going to respond. You get to a point where you're like, I have more to fucking and I don't think he has anything to gain by responding.

So he's not going to respond. You get to a point where you're like I have more to lose than gain. Unless you fuck if you murder it you'll go like okay from the tippity top to the tippity tippity tippity top. But if you bomb

you take a big step down. Big, big and then he lost a push already so it's like that's two and it just stains. He's not going to resist the stain. So we're never going to get this back. I almost can't

knock it either though I know it's hard but I just wanna hear these songs I know that's the other thing if we could all agree

to just like hey let's not like as a collective argue that this person like career sucks now yeah it's almost like LeBron with the dunk contest

it's like if we weren't so sick about it maybe he would do it but the minute that he like sucks at the dunk contest we're gonna be like you're not as good as Jordan fuck you it it's like well we didn't act like that maybe you would have done it yeah yeah a thousand percent let's go look at this eclipse yeah fuck

yeah dude