KFC Radio - Akaash Singh, Henry Winkler, and The Last Episode at The Office

Episode Date: May 2, 2019

Akaash Singh (1:20:00) comes by to chat about Helen of Troy, Flagrant 2 with Andrew Schulz, blackface, R Kelly, and whether or not Neil Degrasse Tyson puts it down in the bedroom. Henry Winkler (1:49:00) drops in to discuss his legendary role as The Fonz, Arrested Development, creating the phrase "jumps the shark" and the time he met Action Bronson. KFC and Feits reminisce about all the places KFC Radio has recorded as we pack up and leave the original Barstool NYC office and get ready to open a new exclusive studio. Deadspin layoffs and ESPN the Magazine shutting down. Voicemails include what rumors would you want to be spread about you, and would you stop a BJ? The Office topics from Rone, YP, Nate and a mystery submission: being paid to live, gardening, how do they build buildings and nudes.You can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/kfcr

Hey, KFC Radio listeners, you can find every episode of KFC Radio on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. It's another edition of KFC Radio, presented by Postmates. Today is brought to you by 1-800-Flowers. Mother's Day is here. It's upon us. You have, what, 10 days left? That means... That means you're already late, bro.

That means you already probably don't love your mother enough if you haven't ordered your mother flowers yet you haven't ordered your wife flowers yet your baby mama your girlfriend anybody who's ever

procreated in your life that you care about if you haven't ordered them flowers yet you're flirting you're flirting with I gotta get my mama flowers cause I'm texting with her right now

cause she's setting up I'm flying to I'm going to New Orleans this weekend going to Jazz Fest oh look at you, bud. Scat man over here. That's jazz, baby. And she takes care of me.

She's my account. She's everything. She's my travel agent. She does it all. She does it all. Mama's got to get a lot of flowers. So get her some flowers. Maybe, may I recommend 24 of them.

Right now there's the 24 for 24 deal. Now my mom, she's a stark raving fucking lunatic. And she says that flowers remind her of dead people. So, my mom, I'm going to have to come up with something else. But that's the thing about 1-800-Flowers. They have all sorts of nice gifts and whatever on their website that aren't just flowers that you can get for the loved ones in your life. The other thing my mother wanted for Mother's Day. Mothers don't ask for flowers.

They're just expected. Yeah, that's just standard, bare minimum. You just get them flowers. Right. My mom wants a dumpster. Because she wants to throw out a bunch of shit. Because when I move out of this fucking house, I just want to walk out the front door.

That's what she said. Where are they moving? They like down, like they like. No, I mean, it's not like a pending thing. It's not even for sale. I haven't really discussed it. She's just itching to throw all your shit out. It's just like it's a big house, and it's just where my dad lives there now.

So they don't really need it. Get her a dumpster and some flowers for Mother's Day 2019. Go to 1-800-Flowers.com. Click the radio icon. Enter the code KFC, and you will get the 24 for 24 Jack Bauer roses. That's 24 roses for just $24. 1-800-Flowers.com. Click the radio icon in the top corner.

Enter the code KFC to get the deal. Offer expires Friday, tomorrow. Get it in now. This is the greatest show. We light it up. We won't come down. And the sun can't stop us now. What's it going to? Take it over you. This is the greatest show. Last ever KFC radio from this office.

That's true. I didn't think of it. Are you sentimental? Not really, but that got me thinking when I realized today was the last episode because I remember coming in here and being over the moon that we had our own studio for the first time. Because, I mean, we did this from your basement, my nursery. We had to rent our own studios for the longest time.

The porch at mom's house. We were always a homeless nomad. I used to have to go when I was living at home still. I would have to go to my dad's man cave, which is in the garage. It's set off. I didn't want my family to hear me

talking about KFC radio topics. Of course not. Shameful. The internet was so bad. There wasn't a router in the house, in the fucking room in the garage. It's a lot like here. Yeah. So it was always choppy and shit. I can't believe we made it through doing that.

Do you remember when we missed a few weeks and I feel like it was like – I don't remember this. Yeah, I don't remember what year. But I remember we just kind of fell off off a little bit do you remember that i just i do remember you being like we need you know if you're gonna do this you have to do it every week like it has to be like that's the consistency that people are gonna want so if you're gonna do it you gotta do it and i like i bought into that i remember telling you guys like all right we gotta get back on track it wasn't it wasn't long but it was kind of one of those like let's do it tuesday night and then like there was

a game that night and we were like ah fuck it we'll do it another time you know we were pretty lazy about it i remember coming back there was like an episode where it was like yeah all right we're back but we weren't gone for a long no but but it wasn't like two episodes every week there was it was a time where it was like this this could have easily faded and we could have just gone back to blogging or whatever. But we kind of recommitted. It's one of those things where it's so much. I guess it was really we were born blind. We didn't know what we had.

We didn't know how bad it was, what we were doing. Because now I'm like, you want me to Skype into something? I'm like, I'm just not doing it. No, right. Just do it yourself. We'll figure it out later. It's such a pain in the ass. Not even a pain in the ass.

It's just impossible the the the give and take the the the jazz of it is gone yeah because you can't see everyone's facial reactions you can't tell what they're doing right it's i mean i guess on skype you kind of can't but that's the way we were we were like uh the dominicans playing baseball with like the the milk carton for a glove we didn't know and that's all we had and then we made it to the big leagues we got a new mitt we got We got a new bat. We got nice cleats. Now you can't go back to that shit, you know? But I do remember Erica being like, she like poked her head in once we were recording

and she was like, you just looked so happy to like have your own spot. And I remember being like over the moon about this fucking thing. This place sucks. It sucks because of us. But in general, I mean, it's just like a tiny little square room. It's not like the. But in general, it's just a tiny little square room.

The new shit we got is our studio. It's designed. It's decorated. It looks cool. That's how I felt about this. It was just a fucking four wall. Have we talked about that? We have our own studio? Yeah, so the new studio

set up, I don't know how many total there are, probably five or six, but there's two. One is a PMT studio, one is a KFC radio studio, not meaning that I'm not going to lock the door or anything, right? It's like other people can use it, but it's our studio. I would like to have a key. I would like to be able to lock it, but we'll play nice. It's cool.

We got this guy, Sam. I'll give him a proper shout out on social media. I wanted to decorate one of the walls like those out in LA, like in the back alley. People paint like wings on a brick wall and then everybody wants to go take a picture on

Instagram in front of it. So I wanted like an Instagram destination type of painting. And I didn't know what though, because the wings are the wings played out though. I didn't know what else people would want to stand in front of. And this guy, Sam reaches out and he, he painted a moon man with a barstool flag on the,

on the surface of the moon. That is fucking dope. Came out. Awesome. We've got a shelves that we're going to put up, like all of the custom sneakers that Mosh made and any of the KFC Radio woodworks that we got from Rich, anything like that, the custom stuff.

We framed a lot of our old classic T-shirts, Saturdays for the Boys and Big Sexy, like the ones that were classic. We got a couple mannequins to sport all of our new gear. When that comes out, it just looks fucking fresh, man. It's very cool. It's hopefully going to – I am treating this new office as like a new era. I'm hoping that it's like we recommit, reinvigorate, come up with some new shit,

get some new people in, and take advantage of the fact that now I mean, the play that place is like. I feel like we like made it as a media company when you have an office like that, you know, like that, that that that place feels to me like you walk in and it's you if you were to walk in for the first time to see Barstool and you saw that you'd be like, these guys are fucking legit. I still haven't really seen it. When we went, was that the only time you've gone too? Yeah. I was like, this thing's just not even close to done. Well, yeah. I mean, it's wild.

I don't know how it's going to look on Monday. I feel like there's no way they finish. You'd be surprised how much New York City construction, it's like one or the other, you know, like they're either like taking their sweet ass time, see you in Labor Day, or they're like, they want the overtime and they're working around the clock and they just like bang it all out. It's a cool space. If it's anything like the plans, like you walk off the elevator. Right, the plans are fucking sick.

And there's like, you know, it like greets you, you know, right now you walk up the elevator and you walk into just like a row of desks. And this has its own charm, we'll call it, because everyone who comes in here is like, whoa, like you are just thrown into the fire, which is a cool vibe that it's just like, bam, you are in the mix. But this to me... It always feels like getting off like any Christmas movie ever when they get to Santa's workshop and just like the elves

aren't even paying attention to them. Yeah, they just walk by. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's exactly what it's like. Hello! Tim Allen walking around like, what is going on here? But the new spot to me feels like, you know, I don't know, like fucking entourage. Like Ari takes Vinny and E to this, you know, big spot.

And they're like, you know, some hot chick walks up and says, would you like some water? You know what I mean? I also get what Dave says. Where Dave's like, that's not who we are. So, like, it is. It's nice. But I do. I'm somewhere's nice but I I do I I'm I'm somewhere in between I think I think maybe you and Dave where like you like the that look and

Dave's like I like a fucking trash yeah I like a little bit in the middle yeah it's probably where you end up at why yeah I mean I don't want it to be like uh you know phony and I don't want it to look like we're trying to be something we're not. But also, by the way, we're not that anymore. You know what I mean? We're not like the Milton office anymore. We are kind of like a fucking multimedia empire in a way. So, and I'm also like, you know me, I'm a big fake it till you make it guy.

So I want people to walk in and even though we're idiots, they look around and go, shit. Yeah, there are definitely things here that are embarrassing. Like when Glenn comes and we have to be like, all our podcast use one studio, you have to sit by the bar, please. Or like, oh, you need to use the bathroom? Well, it's a disaster. And it smells bad, and you've got to wait. Like someone's in it taking a shit, and you have to wait until they come out.

That really hurts. That hurts to have to stand there right like not like hurts my feelings i was trying to hurt my emotions like oh my god this is the worst the worst i mean it's all of our you know social anxiety and things that make us cringe like come to life like i was trying to stall with glenn while call me daddy fix finished up and like i and like just bullshitting with Glenn like I just need to talk for you know two more minutes while I wrap up and that kind of shit I think

well we shouldn't have those problems it's funny Pete tweeted out a picture of the old the old schematics whatever and it said we had 24 seats where we currently sit and then it said like with a long arrow running the length pointing to the far wall saying like room for four more desks, like four new employees.

That was the plan. Like we got 24. We'll probably add like four more. Four. We had 100? At least. At least. We're probably at 150.

We probably added like a buck 25. And he was like you know laughing about that and it's like well guess what bro we probably did the same thing again we probably there's probably there's probably a blueprint that says room for an additional 50 and it's gonna be you know an additional 250 so we'll be we'll be back in the same boat like yeah people are worried that it's not gonna i mean the same people are going there they're going to treat this space like garbage and it's gonna to be a shit show in two weeks. And that's top-down stuff and that's what Dave

wants. So it is like I'm never going to clean my desk. I don't care about cleaning my desk right now. But I like it. I think it's very cool the way we're going to end up decorating that studio. Dave's like, I want it to just be like a thong that we nailed to the wall. I get that.

It's like the way we dress too. It's like some people are just like, I don't fucking just be like a thong that we nailed to the wall. I get that. It's like the way we dress, too. It's like some people are just like, I don't fucking care. I'm just going to wear sweatpants, and that's my style. And we like how we look. We try to buy things that we like. So I like it to actually decorate it, you know what I mean, where it doesn't have to look like we hired interior decorator. But I think it's cool that I remember Big Sexy being the first shirt of mine that really popped so i want to like frame that hanging on the wall i don't

think that's you know like we're like selling out you know yeah i think it'll still remain very genuine so uh and hopefully it just means more you can do both yeah like we'll also there will also be just random shit to laying no doubt no doubt yeah and that's for certain uh we're like fucking hoarders pack rats rats. We just accumulate. And hopefully it just means more content, better content. I thought there were sneakers under my desk today. I mean, I have a thousand. Not like sneakers I'd take them off, like sneakers in their boxes still.

Does anybody know where the flamethrower is? Because I thought that was- Large stole that. Yeah. Oh, okay. Large just got that in his backyard. Because I was like- We should get that back.

But I thought it was under the desk and I was like cleaning everything out. was like oh where's the weapon where is our weapon I was just I was like Santa last night oh we should do some sort of game of thrones yeah like yeah you get a pair you get a pair you get a pair I have one one box with just one one shoe in it I think I stole your Yeezys by the way so my Yeezys yeah sure yeah they're like the desert rat ones are pretty beat up i wore them the other day in the rain all my all my shoes shouldn't be up i mean i don't care yeah i had like a nicer pair on it's raining i was like i'm just gonna put these on like i have like the fear of gods where i'm like i might i should probably get these cleaned and even like the worth of spoons yeah and i'm like those are those are hard to clean too uh anyway i mean like

professionally cleaned not like you, scrubbing myself. Am I ridiculous? Let's get to, we have The Office coming up. We got a couple interviews. We got my guy. Speaking of sentimentality, before we get to ad. Uh-huh. ESPN, the magazine, is closing.

RIP in peace. I do not understand, like, the weeping that happens. People are upset, huh? Like, it's a horrible day for print journalism. And I just, like, just people, like, cry online. And ESPN the magazine was very cool. I loved ESPN the magazine. It was.

Did you? It was, like, what you, because the artwork in it was so cool. Okay. Right? The covers were always so cool. It was square. It was, like, it was probably shaped. It. Right? The covers were always so cool. It was square. It was like, it was, probably shaped.

It was like one of the, I forget what show it is. Somebody gets a business card that just doesn't fit in your wallet. Yeah. And then I'm trying to jam it in. It's a giant square magazine. It doesn't make any sense.

Right. But it was, it was like what you read while your dad read Sports Illustrated. Yeah, it was kind of like the new. Sports Illustrated was the very formulated, it was the perfect square

and it had like everything was in like Times New Roman whereas ESPN the magazine was a little different and it had naked people no that was more recent the body issue has been going on a long time but not when I started reading ESPN when I started reading it no way I think that was like when I was in my puberty

I started reading ESPN the magazine when I was like 7 really? yeah I think it's 25 years was in my puberty. I started reading the ESPN magazine when I was like seven. Really? Yeah. I think he's 25 years old. To me, it doesn't even... I probably got it right away. Wow. Maybe he's 21 years old. So maybe I started reading when I was nine.

That's crazy. But I just don't understand. I understand the importance of print journalism and local media and all that stuff. I get it. That's where all the big stories always break. That's where a lot of people get their start but i'm not gonna cry for people because these are the same people who for the last 10 years scoffed at blogs and the internet oh we're not worried those are the people who refuse to adapt right and that's what that that's why i really want to

talk about is that's what their espn's explanation for it is. The way people consume media is changing rapidly. We have to change with it. No, it's not. I mean, it always is. But this isn't a rapid change. No. This happened a long time ago. It was talking about how everyone reads their articles online now.

Yeah. Wait a minute. I mean, that's the other thing here. Let's talk about the landscape of fucking media here. It's delivered by Postmates. You probably could get magazines delivered by Postmates if you want. You probably could go to your CVS, get a gallon of milk, and you probably also could say, and throw in the last edition of ESPN, the magazine, they'll deliver it to you because that's what they do. They deliver anything you need or want to eat or to have directly to your house within the hour.

Last night, I ordered wings, and it was delivered by a guy named Sham. That sounds, that's ominous. It's like, are you just going to steal this? This is all a sham. Delivered by Sham. That came in like 15 minutes. It was wild.

Usually they call me, and you say Postmates is on the way. He rang my doorbell. I didn't know I had a doorbell. All of a sudden I heard, I thought it was on the fucking. Is it like a doorbell or is it a buzzer? No, it was like, dung, dung. And I was watching the Mets game and I thought it was like an effect, you know, like on a strikeout or something like that.

And then it happened again. I was like, oh, wait a minute. I think someone, I think Sham's here. Someone's at my door. So I got my wings. I got an order of boneless and bone full. And it was a delight. And that's what Postmates does.

They just make my life easy. You know what? I was stuck in no man's land. I wanted wings. I was going to go out. I usually buy them from my bar, my local bar, which are very good. But it was 6.45. Game 7-10 start.

By the time I get there, order, wait, come back, I'm going to miss first pitch. I just order on Postmates. And the best part is when I use the promo code KFC, I get the delivery charge for free. You can get the delivery charge for free for the next seven days because they're going to give you a $100 credit for your delivery charges. Go to Postmates, download the app, use the promo code KFC at checkout, and you'll get that free delivery charge over the next week. What I don't get about this,

you know, just, who did not think the internet was going to be a thing? I can't believe it's gone on this long. This hasn't been bleeding cash for 10 years. I mean, 15 years. You must have had to

cobble something together to keep ESPN the magazine going. Well, usually what I think happens is there's like a big wig or like a billionaire who basically like donates money or something because they believe in print journalism or that's where they got their start and they don't want to see it die and all that shit. And some of the sponsors keep spending

money where they're used to spending money. Like, you know, some of these mechanisms are in place and it just keeps happening. Well, and that's where I think everything is changing. And that's where I hope that we continue to grow because it's like

eventually, you know, right now the person who knows that Barstool moves the needle and, uh, you know, branded content with Barstool sports is way more valuable than just banner ads or radio reads or whatever you know that guy is like 30 years old and he's not making decisions yet but soon enough that guy's going to

be old enough where he gets promoted to the decision making capabilities and that's when the industry fully changes when the people who are deciding where to spend money change then that's when the landscape truly changes and but, but like ESPN, the magazine, did that just not transition to online at all? Because if you tell me that there's like ESPN, the mag.com to me, ESPN, the magazine is not dead. It's just the fucking physical thing is disappearing. Or like those guys are all fired. They don't have a job.

No, no, there will be no layoffs. So they don't fucking care. So we're talking about, we're talking about literally the literal magazine no longer exists. It would lose. Cry me a river. I mean, I get it that there's something to the tangible books. But that's what I mean. People are like, oh, print journalism is dying.

First of all, again, I recognize the. It's just changing form. It's on you. I never understood that about anything when it's like, oh, people don't pay for news anymore. And I think you should. I actually pay for news now. I pay for – I bought The Athletic. I bought – I have The Globe and I have The Washington Post.

You're such a man of honor. I pay for news. You really are. You do that with your music and all that shit. What a fucking loser. It is. But it is important because people do have to get paid. Like it is like,

and those are like the real, real reporters who break real stories. You're not wrong. It's just that ain't coming out of my wallet, but also someone else can pay him. But also like, it's on you to adapt. Like I will do my part.

I'll give you, I'll give you some money. Like I, I don't have a problem paying for things I consume, but it's also on you to figure out how to make more money. I'll do my little bit. I'll pay the fucking quarter for the paper. I'll pay for what I can to keep

good reporters employed and good writers employed, but also if you want to pay them well, like I think we do with most of the employees, all the employees here, if you want to pay them well, then you have to get fucking creative. You have to find new ways to embed advertising and embed just like advertising and other brands in your media. The tough spot for me is like what we charge for, there is added value.

Like we tell you you get the video content. We're giving you exclusive access to things. We're giving you content that to things. We're giving you, um, we're giving you content that you can't get for free. You know, when the athletic is just giving me sports reports, like there's somebody out there doing it for free. Now, if, if they are really good writers and you value that writing more so or whatever that, then that can be your offering. But it, I, I, I, at least I don't know of, you know, people getting creative with it where it's like, if you sign up for the Boston Globe, you're going to get your news, but it's going to be presented this way or you get this in addition to whatever. I don't even just mean the paywall stuff, which I think we do a very good job of.

But I also like – The salary, yeah. No, just like stuff we did today. We just did the Kentucky Derby thing. You have to make – and this is on the writers as well. You have to make yourselves a valuable personality. Right. That people want to hear your opinions and see you participate in things.

And it's, you're a writer, congratulations. You're not just a fucking writer anymore because it's 2019. Right. You have to learn to do everything. Adapt. It's on like everyone has to adapt. And I'm not going to fucking cry for you if shit doesn't go well. Oh, man, another loss for print media. Well, then you should have – print media should be supplemented by video content and blogging and fucking tweeting.

Like everyone thinks they're better than – like Dan Shaughnessy just got Twitter. Felger on Sports Hub doesn't tweet. You're 10 years late, bro. If Mike Francesa did it, you got no excuse. And for real, I mean that. Like Mike is actually – he's got an app. He's streaming. He's going live at halftime.

He's doing all the things that we're doing. And he's like a 65-year-old, 30-year titan of the game. Mike's sitting on a stack of cash. He doesn't have to do any of this. But he wants to because he understands you've got to adapt or die. And it's hard because I'm noticing it now with stuff where I'm not good at Instagram. And I'm not just like, I'm better than Instagram. I don't need that shit.

I'm trying to be better at it. I'm working on it. But I know it's a little bit younger than me, like the live stuff. That is such a good comparison. It's like, you know, because sometimes I'll sit here and I'll pontificate about it all. I'll say, adapt, bro. Like, get with the times.

But, you know, I'm not that great at Instagram, so sometimes i just don't do it so i can imagine when if you were 45 or 50 when this like revolution started and all of it is over your head you might be like oh fuck all this i can't do any of this you know how they talk about bloggers like they still say bloggers like oh what is he a blogger like they'll make fun of it about instagram like there's gonna be instagramers like people are gonna come up and they're gonna report news via Instagram. We do it with YouTube.

Like, I don't think we're very good on, like, vlogs, but we're trying to make YouTube content, right? We're like, we have a vlog. We're trying to get more of that. We try and do everything. Yeah, I mean, that's where. I'm not going to say I'm better than anything. I'm not going to pretend like, oh, I don't need that shit. I know I need whatever the new thing is.

Yeah, you need all. And it's not just whatever the one thing is. It's, like, whatever the next five things are right i feel like that's always where we have been the barstool guinea pig where we will try anything first we have we will do a lot of stop and start we'll have a lot of trial by error we'll fail a few times but um i would hope at least that it kind of opens some doors and paves the way for basically the people who are better to come along and do it on our on our heels um but yeah but the but you know the whole thing to me is like if you're crying about the literal death of a print publication when everyone's still employed and you can still consume all that i i get it i know that people i do think the the everything's

employed thing is just like the initial press release but you just can't you can't keep everyone employed just not and i'm not even maybe maybe all the writers will stay employed well yeah but everyone who works in the magazine will not stay yeah if you if you if you're part of creating the physical magazine obviously that that job's going to disappear but you know a lot of the content people at least it's like you can still consume their stuff it's just written on a on a screen now instead of a piece of paper it's not like and and i think if they're smart they would do like a you know quarterly like once a quarter you get like a special one that's fucking leather bound or something because there are other people who still like that kind of stuff like mcqueenies what's that mcqueenies is just like a quarterly like short story thing got it uh yeah? it's just like a quarterly short story got it it's like if we released a print version

of Barstool Sports quarterly it wouldn't be like we could sell it to every single one of our readers but you could do the book smash it that was more of a literal book if we toned that down a little bit or maybe if somebody came out with a comic book or something I also just have to

give a quick shout out to the dickheads at Deadspin who are being all petty on Twitter. Rob smashed that. Smashed him. And I just want Tom Lay, Lay, Lee, of the world. That guy, just admit exactly who you are, dude, because you're getting petty online and on Twitter and trying to on twitter and trying

to crack jokes and trying to talk shit and stir the pot just like everybody else like you're just not better than people uh so i guess what what happened like another round of layoffs because i can't i thought i just keep happening at deadspin every like quarter every like three months like someone's getting laid off i think it was like an editor no yeah but like he didn't get fired no he got promoted. So what are we making fun of him for? I just want to know because we clearly are making fun of him. I don't know. I think there were some people laid off, but like I think that Marshmont dude,

I mean it might have been one of those firings that's a promotion kind of deal. Like he doesn't do Deadspin anymore. He does something else. So, right. I mean like Deadspin is dead. This is all I'm like 70% sure on. I just, I can't even find it now. We all tweet so much.

I mean, you were on fire last night. I went back because after the Bruins game, I went to go like take the video from one of your ATI tweets to tweet that out. It was like 40 tweets. I had to scroll way the fuck down. What was I doing? Oh, I was Mets. The Mets. Yeah, I mean, I'm in full Mets mode now that I got this podcast going

where I just have to get all my thoughts out. I actually am not very good at tweeting in-game. I guess baseball I can because it's different. Football, even football, where there's stops. Like hockey, I can't tweet in-game. I mean, well, by the time you're talking about what just happened, the puck has gone back and forth six times. It's dead.

I also, this sounds probably biased or naive, but I think Mets Twitter is a beast. It's a weird world. It's like I know everybody is pretty passionate and talks a lot on Twitter, but once you get deep in there, you lose yourself. It was also a classic Mets game. I went from, we did like, we Skyped late last night, me and Clem, after the game, because it was a walk-off after they almost blew it. If you listen to the beginning of my podcast, I was like, we are in Panic City.

It's like 79 win team. It's a wrap. And by the end of it, I was playing Walk It Out, and I was like, we're back, baby! It was like in one podcast. It wasn't even another edition. It was the same podcast. Go subscribe. We got to believe.

Yeah, we got to believe. Go subscribe. Rate, review all that shit. Anyway, Tom Lee, Bob Fox tossed a shot talking about when when when this guy at Deadspin tried to challenge everyone to a fight. And Tom Lee just says the new Avengers movie made you sob uncontrollably. Just throwing a shot at Bob that he cried in a movie. Which, first of all, if you know Bob Fox and you know the Avengers crew, that's not a shot.

Bob, where's that with pride? Fuck you all. I'm seeing tonight, 7.15. I'm not going to say the rest of it because I do have a few more hours to go. Oh, you're saying that I didn't get spoiled? You said that, not me. Wait, but are you seeing it tonight or when this is out tomorrow? Tonight so you got you're almost at the finish line yeah what would you do if i

just spoiled you if i laugh what time is your movie 7 15 but it's like 7 14 just like bam so he said the new avengers movie made you sob uncontrollably and bob came back over the top and a comedy blog blog makes you and your buddies do the same on a daily basis. Woo! Got fucking 2,400 likes. You know, I actually think it's next level cocky to not do the quote tweet. Yeah, he just replied. Right?

Like, I'll do the quote tweet. Sometimes I'm like, I got a good reply. Like, I'll just quote tweet it. Yeah, you want people to see it. If I know if I have a knockout, I do not do that. And that's how he robbed me, too. Very smart about it. Tom Ley was talking shit.

Pat also threw a shot at the girl who called him a traitorous queer. And she was like, you're still talking about me? I hope someone. She wrote that five months ago. You're still talking about it? Yeah. I hope someone pays attention to you soon. And it's like, you're all.

See, you're all talking shit. You're all fucking... We're all dicks. We're all trolls. We're all petty. We're all fighting. You're not fucking above it. And we are just the guys who will embrace it and talk about our dicks and our assholes and stuff like that. Speaking of, why don't we do some of that?

Let's get into a couple voicemails. Then we'll do The Office. Then we'll get into our interviews with... We got Henry Winkler. Heard of him? Fucking icon. Legend of the game. Been in the game for 50 motherfucking years. Also been married for like 50 years, which is just so incredible.

So the Fonz and Barry Zuckercorn and what's his name in Barry? Barry's so awesome. Gary Cousineau. Cousineau is such a great name so you know he'll be on and my guy Akash Singh who you saw

on Answer the Internet last week from Andrew Schultz podcast Flagrant 2 he is so fucking funny I'm sorry to interrupt one more time I don't know if you watched Barry this week I did not I heard it was like a watershed moment type of thing was like a big deal nothing monumental I heard it was like a watershed moment type of thing. Was it like a big deal?

Nothing monumental happened, but it's just a great, very, very cool episode. I'm a couple behind. I find that on the half-hour shows, I let them build up and I go binge them. This was like 45 minutes. This was their version of it.

Okay, got it, got it, got it. It's almost, it's a battle. The whole, actually, honestly, the whole 40 minutes of it is a battle. It's like their version of battle. But it's a way fucking better battle. And it's much smaller, obviously, and all that stuff. But they have the intimate moments that make you grab onto characters and make you kind of panic. Oh, shit, what's happening here?

I can't even get back into the thrones because I'm just declaring victory we just won yeah i mean that battle that was our battle that was our 80 minute fight we won facts facts uh voicemails are brought to you by voicemails are brought to you by and i did one okay voicemails are brought to you by goat i'm thinking about uh grabbing the fear of god moccasins oh what do you think i don? I don't know. I haven't seen those. Because they're moccasins. So, the Fear of God came out with the Fear of God ones, like the big zip-up, like high-top. And then they

came out with, I believe, what they call the Air Raid or something like that, which is like a regular shoe, and it's got this criss-cross strap. But then there's this low-top moccasin that has like a bungee tie in the back and has a strap over

the front of the shoe. And I think it's just something a little different. I don't know. What do you think? Those are the light bone ones. They're coming out in black as well. They did the same two colors as the Fear of God ones. I like these. They're just different. I mean, I just have so

many pairs of sneakers and I've been on a little bit of a hiatus. These are, if I may say, these are almost like training wheels versions of those new outrageous Yeezys that Kanye was wearing. Dude, don't tell me you're in on those. I'm not in on them, but these are kind of training wheels

versions of those. If you took the sole off that, that's the shit. Well, that's the thing, yeah. Like, this still has a sole and an air bubble and still looks like a regular sneaker. Kanye was seen walking out, you know, what he does, he just walks to his car in a new pair of shoes, a typical bananas for it. Those look like, you know, something

from the future, like a weird, like a sock shoe, and... It's like a snocker, but without the cur. Yeah, yeah, like a snocker but without the cur yeah yeah just knock uh he just tries to push the envelope and i get it and i know it works so whatever but at some point i feel like he's just you're just getting too far out there and i'm but i'm sure if you want them when they drop eventually they'll be available on goat i'm sure they'll be i just i had to look up the uh order because i just got them. I got the Donald Glover Nizza.

You did get them. I did get the Donald Glover Nizzas. They're called the Nizzas? It's Donald Glover X Nizza. I guess Nizza is probably a company. Okay, that's dangerous territory. I would just say I got the Donald Glovers. Yeah, and they're the Adidas.

But they're perfect summer shoe, dope as hell. Not expensive on GOAT. Yeah, what are they running on GOAT? I think they were like $200 maybe. Oh, yeah, that's money. You know what I like about GOAT? Some of the other, like I saw on another sneaker app, the Fear of Gods, they were listed at $1 million. Size 14 were listed at a million bucks.

And obviously it's not real, and people are just like fucking around and kind of doing it for a gimmick. But GOAT just has regular ass prices for dead stock shoes, for used shoes, for rare shoes, any type of sneaker you want to get in any condition, you can get them.

So to me, if you're trying to collect and you want to find rare sneakers or you don't want to break the bank or you don't mind if it's a little scuffed up or whatever, they've got it all for you. Uh, and right now you can use,

uh, goat.com slash KFC and you can browse all of these 100% authentic sneakers and add to your collection. Grab, go grab yourself. I mean, right now, now's the time to go get yourself a sneaker shoe,

a sneaker shoe, a summer shoe. I recommend the, uh, what was, what were the ones you liked? The Glovers. I like the Continentals. Continentals. Those are, I was going to get those

and then Keith said, I was looking at both Keith and Keith said the Continentals are a pair I would get. Keith to him. So that means you're going to get He goes, the Nizzas are ones you would get. There you go. That's actually because these have like the frayed edge. Yeah, I do like that they're like a little bit beat up, a little bitas are ones you would get. There you go. That's actually because these have the frayed edge. Yeah, I do like that they're a little bit beat up, a little bit distressed.

But go get yourself. Also, let me give you another recommendation. I have a pair of the Adidas Union Collab. They're this low-top cream leather sneaker with a blue heel. But it's just an easy, clean,, low top for the summer that I'll be wearing all season long. So go to goat.com slash KFC, support the show, support your sneaker habit and go get your kicks. Goat.com slash KFC voicemails. Let's cook. What's up guys. So I just listened to the voicemail from the girl about the space buns in her hair and how much her guy liked it or whatever.

And I had a complete opposite story. So my boyfriend absolutely hates it when I wear a bun on the top of my head. So much to the point where one night we were getting down and dirty, whatever, I was about to get down and suck his dick. Jesus. And all of a sudden he goes, can you just take your hair out real quick before I get to sucking his dick? Like, what the fuck? But, okay, so I did it, whatever. So my question for you is, what would it take for you to stop a girl who's just

about to suck your dick and be like, can you just, can you fix that real fast? Yeah, is my boyfriend just super weird or is this like a common thing? Let me know what you think. Bye. I feel like it's not, I don't think it's that crazy

to, if you prefer like a girl's hair down, you think. Bye. I feel like it's, it's not, I don't think it's that crazy to, if you prefer like a girl's hair down, you think her hair's sexy or whatever, like you want her to take it out. It's crazy. I wouldn't say it's crazy.

It's crazy to stop someone mid, mid almost blowjob. Like, can you take, like, like what she, her question is,

what would it take for you to stop a girl? Yeah. Mine would be like to transform into a monster like Megan Fox or Jennifer's Body. I would maybe stop the other way

because I think when the hair is getting in the way, it ruins her ability. It's like, girl, why don't you just put your hair up real quick? If push came to shove, I prefer hair up, but I'm whatever. You can fucking shave your head on your way down to my

dick and I'm like, work it, girl. I don't give a shit. your way down to my dick, and I'm like, where'd you go? I don't give a shit. By the way, how funny was this girl being like, we were about to get down and dirty, you know, and then I was sucking his dick. Like, boy, we really abandoned the nuance there real quick. I love that meme. Remember like a year ago when there was like a meme of, it was just a picture of a girl

putting her hair up, and it was like me when she closes the door and puts her hair up. And it was a guy running into bed or jumping into his sheet. You know it's about to go down when you put the hair up. But I don't know. If you've got a hair thing, a girl has really nice long hair or she looks a certain way when her hair's up, I'm not going to do it. But I don't think this is crazy voicemail worthy. I don't even think I have preferences with just how you go about your daily life. Like I said, I guess I have a preference, but I don't have a preference.

You're talking about hair? Yeah. I don't have a preference that's a strong enough preference that I will voice that preference. I think I've said recently that I like collarbones, so I like the neckline on a lady. There you go. Just fucking reinforcing eating disorders everywhere but uh but that's not true i have collarbones and i do not have girls girls i do not have you you might you might have one in the other direction what uh yeah girls they love a good collarbone on them i'm a neckline guy um but the uh but it's

it's not like if you want to wear your hair down. I'm not passionate about. I guess it's not even passion. It's just I'm not stupid. Well that's the other thing. You got to do it in such a way that's. I think anytime you're telling someone an opinion you're stupid. Especially if you're going to talk about your girl's appearance.

Right. Yeah. If your girl wears her hair straight or curly or up or whatever she does like very regularly and you're going to go ahead and tell her that you like it the other way. I mean you're basically telling her that like 90% of the time I don't like what you look like. So don't do that. But at the same time when you're in bed. I had that happen this weekend where I was like did you have something to say? I did.

Yeah, I'm not an idiot. Oh, you got that. Did you got something to say? I was like yeah, I have something to say. She said it like say? Yeah, I was going to say it. She said it jokingly. Speak up. Speak up, little bitch. Hold my pocket. What I'm going to tell you is I'm not stupid. So carry on.

Dude, I popped on Barstool Breakfast the other day and then we did their after show and they were just talking about... I guess I can pose this question to you. Francis got a text from his ex saying happy birthday. And Willie was like, don't respond. Like, just leave it.

Like, if your girl, if your current girl finds out, it's going to be a problem. Now, what did you just say? Fuck no to what? Meaning you would not respond as well, right? I mean, not unless I wanted to get back with that girl. But if it's just an ex. That's what's funny is that, you know, Willie was basically. So Willie explained the same story,

same thing happened in a way. His wife found out and she was fucking furious and she was like, when you send that text message, whether or not you mean it or realize it, you are implying that the door is still open. Right. I was just going to say you're opening the door. Yeah. And in his mind, Willie's story was actually, it was an ex-girlfriend. They shared

a dog together. The dog passed away. He told her that. She was like, why the fuck did you feel the need to tell that girl that your dog, the dog died? And he was like, oh, I don't know. I thought she was entitled to know. And his wife was more just like, well, like, fuck that. You're never texting that girl again. Frances was like, no, me and my girl have

complete trust. And like, she knows. Frances told the story. He had a female comedian that he like knows in the business. He wanted a female comedian that he knows in the business. He wanted to talk to her. Ask if she could jerk off and run away? Francis wouldn't even ask. No, I said she asked.

I didn't put that on Francis. She asked if she could jerk off and run away. He was like, they were going to meet at a bar or something like that. Or she was like, why don't we go out for a drink to talk about this? And he was like, I'm in for the night watching basketball. But if you want to come over, like I was going to smoke a joint and watch hoops,

like we can talk that. And his girl was okay with that. That's crazy. And I said, maybe your girl told you she was okay with that, but she was not okay with that. And I don't even think

I'd be okay with that. Yeah. Yeah. That's a pretty, that's a pretty like intimate extreme thing. Girls are crazy. You're pretty entitled to be like,

if we're in a relationship and you're inviting a member of the opposite sex over to smoke weed and watch basketball with you and sit on your couch, that's in a New York City apartment. It's not you're on opposite sides of the room. You're basically sitting on each other's laps. Well, Francis is a big apartment. That's true. We are talking about Francis. I don't even know why I got off track here. Oh, but it's kind of the same thing about speaking up about some of these things.

Your girl is just not going to want to hear certain things. You just steer clear of it. You know what I mean? It's so much easier. If in your head you're just saying, I like your hair this way, or if in your head you're saying, I really was just like, I just wanted to have a conversation with her, you know that your girl might take it some sort of way,

and it just ain't worth the trip to the fucking fight. You know what I mean? I mean, just life is so much easier, maybe not more enjoyable, but easier, which is what I'm about. I'm about the easiness. Path of least resistance. I don't need to be happy. I just need to not be bothered. Yeah.

And it's kind of like we talked about with the advice book. You know what the right thing to say is. You know what the right thing to do is. Just fucking do it. Just be like, just don't insult their hair, basically, is what's happening. And I'll tell you this much, too.

Women growing up, their hair is the most important thing in the world. If you have short hair, it's like, oh, what a cute little boy. At a very young age, you learn, like, I better have long, nice hair or else people are going to think I'm a fucking dude. Mm-hmm. And so if you insult their hair, that's a fucking It's a big one. It's a tough one.

And I'll also say, you know, if a girl is a, if you are lucky enough that a girl is about to take your dick and put it into her mouth, we really kind of take that for granted. We really do. I mean, I personally don't. But in general, the fact that it's just

pretty much expected. I disagree with you on that. What? Well, first of all, women like it. Second of all, there are plenty of women who like it. John. You're so dumb. I'm not dumb. You are Peter Pan.

You think there's no woman in the world who enjoys sex?'m not dumb. You are Peter Pan. Like, there are... You think there's no woman in the world who enjoys... No, I think there are very few. And I think there are very few who continue. I think when you're young, when you're hot, you're sexy... I think you are clouded. I mean, I'm definitely clouded, but I think anybody who's ever been married or older or in a long-term relationship sees how it goes. Well, yeah, but that's just part of getting... All those stereotypes are very fucking true. Well, that's just getting older. been married or in a or older or in a long-term relationship sees how it goes well all of that

shit is part of those like stereotypes are very fucking well that's he's getting older like you don't even want to have sex as much anymore either yeah but like when people are young and in their sexual prime then they like doing all those things yeah i i still think that there are plenty of girls but you don't think women are sitting around being like we're so lucky guys like eat our vaginas put their tongues in our put their tongues inside of us. No, but I like doing that. So cool. Yeah.

Maybe at some point in my life I will stop liking that. I think that guys are still much more like despite like girls are very sexual. Girls like to fuck all that shit. I think guys are still like the more like perverted deviants of the bunch. I think I'll do anything. I think there are definitely girls who still think like I am giving you a gift. I disagree with that. I think maybe, uh,

fuck. Oh, is it? We're going to do a math thing here. Which one's the middle mean, median, mean, median,

whatever you tell you, you, you, you tell me what you think. Well, I mean, they're kind of, I mean,

they're all kind of, they're all different. Like the mean is more like the average. The median is the literal middle. Are you saying the average girl? Is that what you're going to say here? No, I'm talking about average guy. I think the average guy is more perverted than the average girl.

Yes. I think perverted girls are more perverted than perverted guys. The perverted guys? Yes. I see where you're going, but I also think that there are still... I think every guy's like, yeah, I watch porn. And I think some are like, yeah, I watch hardcore porn. And I think some girls are like, I like a little softcore.

Girls play with themselves, whatever. And then the other girls are like, I only watch fucking gangbangers. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's kind of all or nothing. Yeah. I can get down with that. I would still think that the average girl, even if they're like, yeah, I like it or whatever, I'll do it.

We're talking about your typical blowjob and not what a real blowjob is like. I mean, yeah. I mean, look, when I play basketball with my friends, you know. Where are we going with this? Well, like, yeah, like they play regular basketball. They don't have like the fucking, they don't play like Steph Curry I watched last night. You're shooting hoops.

The pros. They're not trying. They're having fun. But yeah, they're not as fucking good as the people I watch on TV. I don't go into a blowjob expecting fucking Adrian. That's what I don't get. I kind of disagree with that. I don't think it's necessarily a talent fucking Adrian. That's what I, that's what I don't get. I kind of disagree with that. I don't think it's necessarily a talent thing.

It's absolutely talking about like, like no gag reflex. Like some people, it's a thing they literally practice and work on. Yeah. But I, but I also, it's so easy.

Like there are certain things that you can just do right fucking now that makes your blowjob incredible. Like you don't need to practice just drooling. You know what I mean mean like if you're talking about like like like your deep throat abilities yes that's that's either a god-given gift or something that you like learn how to do or push yourself to do but also like right now girls like if you really want to fucking get a guy off like just be super messy and let him come all over you you can do that right now john i don't have to be talented or practice i don't think that's a i don't think that's a mass known thing.

That's what I'm saying. Why, you know, it's just like, why? But I think it's, guys are smart, they don't tell them because then it's like, you've been doing it wrong

this whole time, just like your hair. And, and then, I think it's, I think maybe the girls who listen to this show know. Or what?

And girls who, I guess they don't watch enough porn or watch the right porn where it's like, this is what we mean by a blowjob. Yeah, it's either the girls who watch Gang Rape Horns who do know that, or the girls who are like, I just think a't watch enough porn or watch the right porn where it's like, this is what we mean by a blowjob. Yeah. It's either the girls who watch gangbang porn who do know that. Yeah.

Or the girls who are like, I just think a girl is just playing with herself. Right. Right. Well, let me tell you something, girls. Like right now, if you really want to be known as like a girl who gives good head, I'll tell you what, some guys, if you don't got a gag reflex, it might make it worse for them. You know what I mean? You make a lot of noise.

You get really fucking messy with it. And I'm talking disgustingly messy with it. You can make a guy, you can leave him, you can have him leave him wobbling. Okay? He'll be coming back for more

if you want to get down like that. Anyway, back to the hair. Sure. I don't know. Fucking be quiet next time, guy. Let her put her hair up in a bun and blow you hey kfc sorry it's bc so i was just thinking about how um pete davidson had that rumor spread around about him obviously about him having like a huge dick and i'm just wondering what rumor

would you want to get spread about you because Because obviously the one about Pete is getting him gross and stuff, but if it's not true, then it fucks you over. So I guess what would be the best rumor that could be spread about you and what would be the worst rumor to get spread about you? That's a great question. That's a really great question. I mean, I think the big dick is kind of cliche. I mean mean it clearly

worked out for pete but if i had like my pick of the litter i don't think i'm going with that yeah i i also think that has like shelf life like that's a novelty i think some girls would be like i want to see what that's like i want to experience that but i also don't i don't think that that's really preferred i don't think a girl wants too big of a dick forever you know what i mean right um but maybe that's why it is a good one because it gets them interested and then if it's not totally true it's like oh okay i can work with this true like like if it's or they get it and they're like they never actually bust out the measuring tape and they're like i'm great at taking 10 inches yeah it's like that's a half. Yeah, yeah.

If you're just eyeballing it, you know. It's also, it might be good because then it depends on what you're looking for. If you do get girls who are interested and want just the one time, like I want to experience a 10-inch dick and then I'm out of here, that might be exactly what you want. Yeah. One rumor. I don't think there's such a thing as a good rumor. Not if you're looking for something. Well, that's not true. Not if you're looking for something that will actually last.

Because I think the rumor will usually prove false. Are we saying the definition of a rumor means something that's not true? I mean, if a girl spreads a rumor that this guy make you come like five times every time you have sex. Well, yeah. That's a good thing. If it's true. Well, right. That's what I'm saying.

So if rumor means like, yeah, it's not true. But if you're just saying secret, if we're just talking about like. I don't have any good secrets. I make sure to tell you. Okay. So wait, what are we saying? So are we saying a fictional thing? No, rumor is a rumor. We'll go by definition.

It can be true. It can be false. Okay. Because I think that if it's not true, then, yeah, I don't want any rumor spread about me because then now you're a disappointment. Now the bar is set very high. And when you whip it out and it's only six inches, she's disappointed. I think we've had that conversation about Pete before. Or if somebody says, like, he'll give you the best sex of your life and then it's not, you know, the expectations are too high.

It's not that good uh so i i in that so we're living in reality here it's like how you actually perform right now okay it doesn't have to be sexual like i will i was thinking like john's a nice person well that's a fucking lie this is my point i don't want to know because it's like wait okay no you know what all right i bet nice nice people. I know what I want then. Every, almost exclusively, every single girl that I've hung out with since I've been single has said

you are so different from what I expected. So I don't know if it's the blog persona that I put out there. I don't know if it's the cheating reputation now. If it's the jokes I've made or the content I put out. But clearly every girl I see now, if it's the jokes I've made or the content I put out. But clearly every girl I see now is coming into it thinking that I'm like a fucking asshole or like that I'm a pervert or I don't know, or I'm a cheater or whatever, whatever part of Barstool they are consuming and deciding that's my reputation. So I want I would want all I would I would want that to be it.

I would want every girl to go back and report back like he's not at all what you think. Because I also think that's kind of – I think that's like a little mysterious. Like, oh, really? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like, well, what's different about him? Because I think this, that, and the other thing. That's not true? Well, I got to go find out.

And I don't think that's a rumor. I think that part is true. So I would just like to go on the record that all these fucking girls are surprised. I think I'm going gonna go kind of a similar thing although it's not like an online reputation it's just the reputation when you first meet me i think i'd like like he is a good dude i'm not like a nice like when i said nice guy like i meant like i'm like the perfect boyfriend i don't i don't know that just like he's a good dude because i think like i thought about yesterday when marty mush was on radio

and he's like yeah brandon walker was Walker was like – didn't even talk to me. I would like it known that I'm probably not going to talk to you. But I'm a nice guy. It's not because I dislike you. It's because I feel awkward. Socially awkward. It's like I'm – I think when you are like socially awkward or – I mean I'm not even – I don't think socially awkward is what I am. I don't know what I am.

But when you – I think it is when you have like when you're just like I don't know I'm just like nervous talking to people I don't I don't like meeting new people because I don't think they're gonna like me yeah yeah yeah um I I think it's like you come off as standoffish and like kind of like an asshole right like you're you're above them or something but in reality you think you're below them and you don't yeah once. Once you. Yeah. I'm like, I'm not going to bother them with me. Once you talk to me, I think I think I'm a pretty good guy. Yeah. I don't know what.

I don't know why. I mean, I guess I know why. If you if you take all this stuff very seriously, very literally, and you do see that we're pretty skeptical and cynical and that we're like tough critics or whatever it is to kind of tie it into what we were talking about earlier this week. I guess you could think that like, you you know conversation with him is going to be like tense or he's going to be judging or we're going to be fighting or we're going to be arguing or whatever we do at barstool when it's like i think we're pretty i think we're like

maybe the most like laid-back guys here in the real world like i will take you out on a date or we can meet at a bar or it could be another guy. And we're going to like, just have a drink. I'm going to make you laugh. We're going to talk about current events. And you know, like every,

every, again, all these, these same like dates I've been on, whatever, there's always a moment where like, we're all laughing, you know?

And they're like, gee, this is a lot more fun than I thought it was going to be. I'm like, what did you agree to? Like what were you coming into this just being like this is gonna suck were you afraid like we're just laughing at a bar and that is apparently blowing your socks off with surprise it's like yeah that put that out there you will yeah remember you will enjoy your time with them yeah there you go yeah if. Yeah. If you could go, if you could go report back to everybody, you'll enjoy being around this other fucking human.

Let's get into the office. It's brought to you by scent bird. Glenn Howerton came in here the other day and, uh, he smelled so good. He looked so good. He smelled so good. I'm getting weird with Glenn.

Sent him a foot video last night. See that? My brother's jaw just dropped well where the ortho where the orthotics gang so i had to show him my custom orthotics because john you you tweeted this out i mean that man is so goddamn passionate about his orthotics that it made me want to be like yeah fuck yeah orthotics so i got mine out and i filmed like a video of me putting my foot in it and then i sent it and I was like, that was weird. I felt like

a stereotypical crazy girlfriend, crazy ex-girlfriend, whatever who takes it too far. I was like, I took it too far. I just sent mine out that way too. I sent my feet. I think once I saw the barefoot come in I just scrolled up.

By the way, my feet are scrolled up My feet are fine My fucking feet are fine I don't want to hear it I didn't know about your feet I didn't see it Gracie Tracy was like You need a pedicure I was like fuck you

My feet are fucking fine It was that fat woman in the laundromat Who once told me I had pretty feet for a man Fuck you Anyway Why were you barefoot in the laundromat? I had sandals on I wasn't barefoot

She was like you got She was this enormous black woman. She just said, she looked back at me online. She said, you got pretty feet for a man. I said, thank you, girl. I'm getting weird with Glenn, but he did smell good. And if you smell good, it makes a difference, man. When you walk in a room, when you walk on a date, you know, girls have been using perfume forever.

And, you know, guys, been using perfume forever. And, you know, guys, I think we all need to get on board with the cologne game. Now, the problem with cologne is you go buy a giant jar of it, a giant jug of it, you spend too much money, and then it sits on your shelf for like 60 years because it's impossible to finish a bottle of cologne. And also, you get tired of that scent. You don't want to wear it. You forget about it. Well, Scentbird gets rid of all of those issues because it comes with a smaller array, smaller bottles with a wide array of different brands and different scents, 450 brands to be specific. So you can test out different smells, different scents, different companies. And it comes with a 30-day supply of each of them, 120 sprays.

That means four times a day for a month. So realistically, it's going to last you multiple months. And you can kind of rotate in all the different brands you want. As the season changes, as occasions change, as styles change, you can change your scent along with it. Go to Scentbird.com slash KFC. That's S-C-E-N-T Bird.com slash KFC. And you get 50% off your first month. That's pretty diesel. That means for $7.50, you'll get your first month supply. I always appreciate a sponsor who goes above and beyond with the discounts. Some people do $15, $20. My guys at Scentbird are giving you 50%

half off. Go to Scentbird.com slash KFC. The Office! Give me number four. Rome. Oh, boy. This should be good. Should people get paid for being alive?

Just for living. Just the universal. No, absolutely not. You don't think so? No. Do you know how many people are a complete waste or a universal salary. No, absolutely not. You don't think so? No, do you know how many people are a complete waste? Or a complete zero? Or actually a drain on society? There are some people

who should pay the government to be alive. A life tax. You're going to be a fat fucking slob with no skills and bring nothing to the table, but you're just going to consume our air and our oxygen. You're going to be like the people that Thanos was trying to get rid of, these drains on society.

You should pay me, not me. You should pay the government to be alive. That's a fair point. I was thinking, as always, selfishly, just about myself, and I should get paid. Just because it is a burden. Look, here's the deal. If you have to do a job and

well, hang on. Talk yourself right out of this one. I'm trying to work it in. I didn't ask for this job. Because it's very cocky to think that you should get money for just your presence. I didn't ask to do this.

I didn't ask for my job of being alive. Yeah, but then you can just go kill yourself. That's true. I can quit. You can quit this job. You can quit the job of life before you go into the boss's office and say... But shouldn't I get paid before I quit? Get me back pay.

I've been doing this job that I did not sign up for for 30 years. But who is paying you? Because a job you get paid because you do something for the people ahead of you, for the boss. The boss

needs you to write these blogs. For not being an asshole on the street every day. So the government should say, you know, you are not, you know, going out there and just like ruining people's time.

You're not just pushing people. You're not just pushing people. So here's some money. You are a valued member of society just by making sure society works. You stop at red lights. You appreciate society and you are involved in it.

Therefore you get I don't need an hourly wage, but I need a yearly bonus. And I think that would also help eliminate the crazy words. If you're caught disrupting society, you do not get that annual

bonus. That would actually encourage people. It's incentivizing people to live well we'll live nice right like don't be the guy don't be the jesus guy yelling on the street right like don't be that guy with the sign being like repent or else you don't get your tithe for the year right i don't hate that that's a little more understandable where it's like if you don't suck, I just think positive reinforcement works better

than negative reinforcement, right? So it's like right now, you don't go up to people and punch them in the face because you'll go to jail. But there are some people who just say, fuck it, I want to punch that guy in the face. But if it was like, but I'll give you a thousand bucks at the end of the month if you don't punch anybody or whatever the fucking money then you'll be incentivized to live.

So I don't think people deserve it. And if we want to make things Black Mirror-wise, you got an app. And if you were – Your star rating is this high, you get this much money. You had an uncomfortable encounter on the street. You were stealing someone's parking spot, and they negatively rate you. Now you get less money. Let's say it starts at $10,000. rate you now you get less money but you know let's say it starts at ten thousand dollars now you get nine hundred now you're nine thousand yeah okay but but

i just want to make this clear that you do not deserve to be paid to live but coming up with a system where you do pay people to live appropriately could be effective you know what what I'm saying? I just don't want people thinking, I wake up in the morning, I deserve money. No, no, no. But what I'm trying to do If you think about it, being part of civilization is slave labor. I did not ask to do this. You forced me to do this. At no point

in my life did I say, I want to be, I want to partake in this. But that's where I think you'd say, you can go kill yourself. That's always on the table. But that was on the table for slaves too, Kevin. It doesn't make it okay. Well, I'm just saying that, but, you know, you can kill yourself if you don't want to be

a part of it, not I'm going to pay you to continue to be a part of it. But I think the idea is we could build a bomb-ass society if we pay people to be awesome. Yeah. That is different, though though than you deserve money for just being alive but most people are awesome societally speaking a vast majority of people are awesome at just being in society so what we need to do is start being less awesome and then

that thereby the government's like we gotta start paying these people or this is gonna be a total chaos all right but i just i can we can we can flesh this idea out more actually i would love to hear what Roan thinks. Maybe we'll bring him in next episode to hear his thoughts on it. But there's a difference between you deserve it versus there's value in doing it, if you feel me. I think you deserve it. I think you deserve it because there are so many times you just want to scream. You're on the train, train's delayed.

You're in the middle of – Just don't be an asshole. Times Square people are just bumping into you. And they're not even doing it intentionally, but there's just so many people. And if you want to start hitting and pushing and screaming at people. And the fact that you don't do that means you deserve something. I think you should kill yourself. All right.

Next up on The Office, give me a number. Number one. Number one. This is Nate. I always go to Nate for some reason. He's always there. I think he's just I think that's how

that honestly might be it. I think a lot of people are bouncing around a lot. I always count on Nate to be there. Nate's very often there. His is how did they used to build buildings? And I think this is

I agree. This goes to the older conversation we've had about are you smarter than the smartest person alive? Dan thought he was. Right. He thought he you smarter than the smartest person alive dan thought he was right uh he thought he's smarter than christopher clumbus i vehemently disagree vehemently i

couldn't i i don't like i can't i can't build a jenga without the box dude how do you build a like if you ask me to put jenga sport during jenga pieces together i could not build them straight up yeah without putting them in the box and flipping the box upside down. Is that how they made buildings? I can't believe, like, there's a building on, like, 42nd near 6th Avenue. And it, like, slightly, it's a skyscraper, but it slightly curves. And it's, like, so smoothly curvedcraper, slightly curves. And it's like so smoothly curved. Like how do they do that?

Like I don't understand any of it, but I can understand like the original Twin Towers. There's a fucking rectangle and straight up. This is like gently curved at a smooth like 10 degree angle or whatever it is. And what I really don't get is how someone sketches it out on paper. You know, an architect gets out his blueprints and his fucking ruler. And then that translates to real life. And it translates to 100 stories and bars and concrete blocks. And like, I just I don't even get how they did it.

Fuck. Like that. That's a more modern building. Right. Old school. But like, first of all, that was crazy. That was definitely crazy. It's a modern marvel as far. Like old school. But like, like first of all, that one's crazy. That one's definitely crazy. It's a modern Marvel as far as I'm concerned.

But, but like the ones that were built in, I don't know, the fifties, they're still just going strong. Yeah. Fenway park. 1908.

Hasn't been tough. What are you talking about? I guess Fenway is not really like, I'm like, yeah, it's stands and it's a fucking wall. But like the buildings that like, they last forever. Like, how did you do that?. But the buildings they last forever.

How did you do that? The pyramids man? I honestly think it's more reasonable. But the pyramids were aliens. I don't know who made these ones were made while humans were here. So who made those? I don't even get Lincoln logs like a log cabin. They were just like alright we'll just cut down a bunch of trees

and we'll just stack up the trunks and it'll be a house. Even that I'm impressed by. That's true. It's like a little hole. We'll stack this one up. Yeah. And that's just a house. Like houses that are still standing.

I feel like that's like the old vibe is, you know, the New York City subway system. Are you kidding me? Under the ground. We made this intricate web. That's true. Transportation. Who was digging that stuff and it works like

you know it is the most it's disgusting and it's filled with bums and piss and everything but it's the most like impressive display of transportation in the world

yeah in humanity and they did it back you know whenever digging through the underground of New York City it's fucking incredible it is crazy

because it does like blue collar has that tag of stupid yeah just because it's manual labor People look down upon it For god knows what reason Because everyone I know who works

In construction or landscaping Is fucking loaded Yeah man People need shit to be built I think it's just one of those things That starts young. It's like, you know, you see a man who's dirty and you're like, oh, dirty. Like you must be poor.

Like reality. The motherfuckers is cake. Yeah, man. But that's like like it's like that's construction people who just I remember when I worked construction just like, you know, like fucking moving shit. Right. Like a freshman year at college. And I was just like

i was building a mansion i was building a fucking mansion kevin and again i was i wasn't i was i was on the site i was just moving moving bricks here and there yeah like come put some nails in this and that kind of shit we built a room of our own to just nap in um because we were always so hung over all the time and uh but i was I was like, I don't even understand. I would see the other houses they'd built, and it was all in Newport, like on Ocean Drive and shit. I'm like, how? How?

How did you guys do this? You guys are so stupid. I mean like the buddies on Fog, the friends I made, the people that hold onto the construction site who become friendly with the 17-year-olds who's hungover all the time. They're a couple of idiots. But even that, you know, a lot of those guys are probably just like carrying out orders.

They're not the architects behind it all. Right, right, right. That's exactly what they are. But even that is like you got to trust that the, you know, the guys who are just carrying out orders. When you're building a skyscraper, you know, somebody fucks something up there and you have a hundred-story building at risk, you know? It's just, it's... I don't understand how you test it. How do you test it before you even, like, okay,

so someone's going to take the first elevator right up? Yeah. What if the whole thing tips over? How about, what about even inventing the crane that can, like, get up there? You ever see one of those cranes? Yeah, one fell in Massachusetts. Was it Massachusetts? No.

Somewhere in New England, though. Yeah. I don't know. Wherever it was, that was bad. Yeah. I mean Massachusetts? No. Somewhere in New England, though. Yeah. I don't know. Wherever it was, that was bad. Yeah. I mean, all of it. I did a Mail Time episode many years ago just called I Just Don't Get It. And yeah, building stuff's at the top of that list.

So I can get into how airplanes fly and how cruise ships float and all sorts of shit. But buildings just exist. I hate when people ask me stuff like that, too. Where it's like, how does a cruise ship float water displacement well it'll fucking go deeper than that right

buoyancy lift more I need more than just the word explanation about this I know that it gets lifted off the ground

you can't just say that you can't just say fly tell me how how does a building get built hammer yeah man

I know the fucking word is, but like, he's pointing me to the intricacies of it. And the real answer to that is, you're too stupid to understand. I'd be fine with that. You're probably right. Some people can't wrap their head around the

theory of quantum physics. I can't even wrap my head around how you build shit. Can't do it. Don't need to do it. Give me number six. number six. Number six. This one is from YP. Okay.

Jerking off at home with your girlfriend sleeping. The exact opposite. Gardens. Well, that makes sense. Outdoors. Outdoors. Yeah. Are you ever going to be a garden guy?

No. No. You don't think so? No. You know who surprisingly is? Your dad? Papa fights. Yeah. Are you ever going to be a garden guy? No. You don't think so? No. You know who surprisingly is? Your dad? Papa fights. Yeah.

Monster garden guy. Loves his garden. He'll text me pictures of the garden. And it's like, this garden isn't like a little garden bed. Like it's our yard. It's like a farm. It's like,

it's like he's out mulching in the, like way in the back. And he's fucking, he's like new, new flowers lying in this. He's like, he's fucking his new new flowers line and this is like he's you know what it's new rhododendrons like i don't know what the fuck a rhododendron is man i think all these things when when fathers are into them all start in one place and that's a desire to get out of the house and get away from everything my dad my dad likes it

so much that when he hires landscapers and like masons to come do like redo the walls and stuff. Don't touch it. No, he helps them. He's paying these motherfuckers. And he goes, I was like, can I give you a hand? We're like pretty high-end professionals, but sure. Sure, you want to go dig some holes? I think it starts as, you know,

a way to kill time and get some peace and quiet, and then you start to take pride in it. And all of a sudden you want to make sure your tomatoes are ripe and all that kind of shit. Or, you know, the dickhead next door has one time and get some peace and quiet, and then you start to take pride in it. Right. And all of a sudden you want to make sure your tomatoes are ripe and all that kind of shit. Or the dickhead next door has one and you get some competition going. I say, I mean, never say never, but I don't think that'll be my bag. I think if I need to kill time or get out of the house, it'll be something other than that.

I don't know. I guess that's the thing, though. How many things can you just do in just the comfort of your backyard? There's just not many. Imagine being so. You either do the lawn or you make a garden, you know? So needing for your own space and time for a minute that you're just,

just sitting in your backyard and like, I should plant some shit out here. That'll give me some time. I mean, I mean, you know, I don't know when I knew things were real, were real bleak and I knew,

you know, I was beyond the point of no return. When I kept having problems in my basement, I was just like, I'm just going to go down there. I popped my headphones in. I got the squeegee out. And I was just brushing water. And I was just kind of like, I'm good. No one bothering me here.

What's the... Milli Vanilli. Blame it on the the rain and she's down there fucking sweeping up usher dancing in the water yeah i i uh i get it i don't know what i would do if it was like i'm definitely not a lawn guy like at least gardening i think there's something to it a if you're building you're growing hard though man oh definitely hard but there's at least just like a little like I'm not even talking about like moving fucking little trees which he does too yeah but I mean just like you'd be like sore afterwards I've done I've done landscaping back in my day yeah yeah I was I did on Martha's Vineyard I was just like the uh I just like the white face to talk to people.

There was a lot of Brazilians on the vineyard. It's weird how the islands have different... It's basically like someone comes to an area from one place. Right. And then they tell their friends back home, like, oh, this is great. Oh, yeah, of course. So Nantucket's a lot of Jamaicans, I believe. Got it.

And then the vineyards, a lot of brazilians fall rivers all portuguese um newport's a lot of portuguese too but it's weird how that happens where it's just like there's work here or whatever like everyone from fall river is from the azores which is just this little island portugal where i went last year yeah and like we only go there because my parents learned it from our hometown and it's just weird how like how that I guess tribalism of sorts happens where it's just like I'm gonna travel a little bit and I'll write a letter home and be like

yo there's work here it's like it's good stuff everyone come and that's because it goes back so far but it's just fucking it's interesting but it was I was A the white face probably was A B I just spoke English. Right.

You got some value. But I did. I did. I talked to the old woman, but then I, yeah, I'd get out there. I wasn't doing the real, real stuff to me. The, uh, the, the lawn people are the ones that really weird me out. But I will say when I had a house for a quick second, my lawn obviously looked like shit. And I definitely like, I was like, I can understand where you feel like oh shit people

probably looking down on me you feel a little like yeah like if you don't care fine but like my neighbors were all older professional homeowners i was new to it i didn't know what i was doing and then it was like nice nice lawn nice lawn nice lawn shitty lawn covered in sticks patches missing all that shit so if you care about that i could see where you're like all right i gotta keep up with the joneses I just kind of was like, well, I'm gonna bring property value down. We're gonna be the ugly house on the block. I told you about how when I was little, I had to cut

my grandfather's lawn. And he made me do it with basically a fucking sickle. Oh, yeah. You're right, they were like scissors clipping each fucking blade of grass. He's like, I'll teach you a lesson. I'm like, what fucking lesson? Appreciate technology? Is that my grandpa's an asshole I'll teach you a lesson. I'm like, what fucking lesson? Appreciate technology? Is that my grandpa's an asshole?

Let's do one more. I'm going to do dealer's choice. Oh, boy. Okay. You can either go with topic or person. Which do you want to highlight here? This is a tough one. Because one, the one I want to talk about the This is a tough one. Because one,

the one I want to talk about the most, we always talk about. It's Koli and dinosaurs aren't extinct. Komodo dragons. Yeah, we've hit that ad nauseum. YP caught one the other day. So then it comes down to one, I don't know who

one is from. Why? You didn't write the name down? No why you didn't write the name down? no I didn't write the name down this time give me the topic I bet you I could maybe try to it's nudes I would have guessed why I am I think I'm out on nudes

oh that's silly I haven't gotten or received a nude well you're wifed up now so it's different but it was long before that as well I haven't sent or received a nude. Well, you're wifed up now. So it's different. But it was long before that as well. Really? Yeah. I mean, I say got a receipt.

I meant sent or received a nude in ages. I definitely still enjoy it. I'm sure I'd like it, but one of the things I haven't, it hasn't happened in so long, I just kind of forgot about it. It's just poof to me. Oh, you guys are past the honeymoon phase, huh? I think to me it's about like the conquest of it. I don't even know. You know, I want to, I want to see your asshole, but like it's about like the conquest of it I don't even know you know I want to

I want to see your asshole but like it's about the fact that we were talking and I was charming enough to get you to do something as stupid as send me a naked picture of yourself the it is the dumbest thing you can it's so dumb it all but it also you know what we also all do it so

it's like you know let's just if everyone's an idiot then no one's an idiot sort of thing. It's like, if you get your nudes leaked, like, whatever, because everyone else, we shouldn't judge. I think that's some bubble shit. I think that's what lives in our bubble. You don't think people are sending nudes? I don't think as many people send nudes as we think. Maybe I'm wrong.

I think within our bubble, it's like 100%. Yes, yes yes yes when i uh i remember when i was in high school my mom like caught me drinking for like the 20th time and she's like you and your friends drink too much i'm like this is just what high school kids do we're just partying yeah and it was when you're seven friends and i was like as it got to college and i started meeting kids in the college i was like you guys don't drink as much 100 and now i'm an adult i'm like you guys don't drink as much as me yeah and i'm like mom might have been onto something it was just us forming bad habits as 16 year olds i get that and i'm sure there i'm sure there are most people like we are on the internet and actually if anything we should be the people who don't do it because we know the power and the fear

of the internet but yet we are the people who do do it. I'm speaking for myself. But I think that there are probably many people who go, this is a reckless idea. I will not engage in it. Whereas I am, you know, just a slave to the nut. I think that the Internet is while we understand the power. I think we also understand the I think we we we understand the power, I think we also understand the, I think we, we,

we understand the power wholly. Whereas some people like, I, I know if a nude leaked of me, right? Leaked. I don't even think I deserve the term leaked. If a nude was put out of me.

Right. Right. I know that it would be a shit storm for a minute, for 12 hours tops. Right. I think when other people, they don't understand that right i think other people don't see the light at the end of the tunnel i know that i'm i'm well versed enough in the internet to know that this will this will end and it will end soon and it'd be

maybe like i'll still get tweets back at me and stuff like that forever but it's like the me being the center of attention will be a very brief moment. I feel you. And I've talked to people before who have been on Barstool or who have been on otherwise, and they'll kind of reach out to me for advice, like, how do I handle this? I'm like, just fucking turn your phone off and go to a movie. Just go to sleep and it'll be over. And that is the best advice I can give.

And so I guess I also, I'm like, oh boy, that'll blow up. And also it'll fucking, it'll be an explosion. And then it will go out right away. Right. That's kind of how the internet is now. I know from my experience that it will not be that case for me. It will be talked about for absolutely ever. And for some reason, I still engage in these ridiculous ideas.

All right. Let's get into our interviews now. So you want to do Akash? You can go Akash. Okay. We're leading off with Akash, who is, I described him as Aziz Ansari if he didn't give a single fuck. This guy reminds me of 2000. Racist.

Yep, pretty much. This guy reminds me. I don't think that's racist, by the way. Neither do I. I mean, it's just like, that's a comparison. You know, he's an Indian, a funny Indian guy. Like, it's fun to make the jokes about it with NFL nfl athletes like oh he's like comp like oh julian is like cold busy and to be fair athletes are very different but if it's just like hey you look

like that guy i get all the time i'm never like that's racist i mean oh yeah well he's white so we got the baseline started yep that's basically i mean if if if a a Indian comedian comes through, we're going to compare you to the other Indian comedian. You know, he is a riot. He reminds me of like 2009, 2010 type of bar. So when we first started where absolutely anything goes, he did answer the Internet last week. So if you're a fan of that, go go watch his. He was very funny, very creative, dude. And he's just the type of guy I put him right up there with Andrew

Schultz, Chris DiStefano, Dan Soder, the guys who are, you know, they write funny jokes, but also when it comes down to just shoot the shit and talk, he's just got the right vibe. He's a funny fucking guy. So this interview is brought to you by MVMT Watches. 2019

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That's MVMT.com slash KFC. That's KFC Radio. We got my man Akash Singh in here. Yes, sir. I met him a couple weeks ago when I did Flagrant 2 with Schultz. You guys know him. We did an episode with him a few weeks back that everybody loved. These guys have been killing it over on Flagrant 2 with Patreon,

and you're all doing your own stand-up gigs and whatever. So I had to, I mean, you had me rolling. Thank you, man. That was a fun episode, man. That was good. You guys, I knew as soon as Barstool was in the building, we get to have fun. There's no thinking about anything

or worrying about offending people, so I was just able to just go. But I'll tell you, man. Such a good reputation. Oh, that's well, thank you, too. For our world, yeah. Akash had, you guys were saying some shit that even I was like, boy, I was like, I don't even know if I should be laughing right now.

Like, it was—there was a whole bit on black women. I was like, oh my goodness, here we go. There's no way Helena Troy is black. Because politically speaking, we're not going to war over no black bitch. That's what I said. Not my decision. That's historical politics and the fucked up system we're not going to war over no black bitch. That's what I said. Not my decision. That's historical politics and the fucked up system we're in.

I mean, you're right. You're right. People always like, anytime like a white girl with blonde hair goes missing, everyone's like, oh, at least we'll get the media coverage. Stop the presses.

That's one of my favorite Patrice O'Neill bits is you can tell how attractive a white woman is by how long they would look for her if she went missing. It's so good. It's so good. It was just such a great vibe on Flagrant too though because he was like he said that exact line he's like you know we ain't going to war for no black bitch and he was like

everybody started just jumping around it was such a good vibe man it was a very fun show uh so i i figured we had to have you come through here um you guys are doing big things with flagrant too i mean the uh we were discussing it on that show, when I came on your show. The Patreon is doing really well. Yeah, man. And so, I mean, are you guys like, you know, is that like your, is that your salary from them? Or like, you just get a little money?

Or like, are you making your money on stand-up? Or what are you doing? So, we started the Patreon, no shit, because I was going flat broke. And then I said to Andrew, I've been saying this for a while, I think our fans are more dedicated than most fans. It's not as big of a, you know, like general audience as a lot of podcasts, but I know they're dedicated.

And I would tell Andrew, and he was like, nah, I don't know, it's extra work for him, he's super busy. And then finally, I got to the point where I said, look, man, I am pleading with you. I literally said those words, I am pleading with you. Please let me start this.

And then we started it, and then we kind of built it, and it's just been this beautiful thing. And it's kind of become like what you guys have here that I admire is there is a there's a sense of unity

amongst the fans. Like there's Barstool fans and it's a cultural thing for them. The asshole army is right there, man. The asshole army, that's what we kind of model it after like Barstool

and I grew up listening to the support station in Dallas. It's the same kind of thing. They're all called P1s and like that's what I wanted our fans to be. And that's why we're so happy to bring Barstool over because you guys get it.

Yep. I mean, it's so much better to have, I think everyone strives to have, like, the Taylor Swift fan base, where it's just like, the beehive of Swifties. I don't even mean, like, names. I mean just size.

That's some 20-year-old shit. And it's awesome. But, like, Taylor Swift is actually the wrong example because the herds are so dedicated as well but i'd much prefer a small dedicated base because they will they'll support you buy the shirts they'll go out and buy the tickets i don't mean support you as in being nice to you no no no no one on the fucking world's ever gonna be nice to you but like they'll they'll buy shit and they'll be like yo like we'll they'll come to

your shows they'll buy your merch they'll buy like, yo, they'll come to your shows, they'll buy your merch, they'll buy your Patreon. Anything like that is so much better than having just like, even like an ESPN type, like ESPN podcast. No one gives a fuck about the people at ESPN. I want nothing less than an ESPN podcast. I'll say it. And the numbers, you know, you probably get a million downloads an episode and it's like

doesn't fucking matter though, you know? It's like fluff. All smoke and mirrors. Yes, it is nothing. There's no substance. You guys have substance. You got a thing. Barstool Sports is like, you know exactly what you're getting. Asshole Army, you know exactly what we're going to do. Every joke is fine.

No one cares. Let's have fun. Yeah, so I was taking a picture afterwards, and you throw up your asshole. That's their symbol. And I didn't quite see it or realize what it was, so I was like this. And Andrew was like, keep your asshole tight, man. I was like, I was gaping with mine. I didn't know the rules.

You got to be fucking careful about that. That's also some. That's the white power. Oh, that's the, it's also the blood gang sign. It's the WP, right? I don't think it really is. But it became that. I don't think anyone ever used it like that.

But 4chan or one of those internet things started a rumor where it was like that. And now every time someone does that. That's a pretty calm. That's an okay sign. It's just the okay sign. Hey, that's what white people are. They're okay. You know what I mean?

They're not great. They're not awful. They're okay. They're just a-okay. That's an a-okay guy. Gaz got it recently. They were doing like a Jersey Day picture or something like that. And Gaz had like, just did this.

And people were actually like, oh, this guy has blackface. Yeah, it has a history. We did a Halloween party like, I don't know, 10 years ago. Yeah. And he has two black friends. And they did the big three in Boston. And he was Kevin Garnett. But he like, he like, he like,

and he colored himself with a Sharpie. Like he was, he was covered. Did he take the picture with the black guy? That's essential. We said like, you can't even, like at the party, you have to go wherever they go. They go to the bathroom,

you go to the bathroom. They go to the drink, you get a drink. Yeah, it actually got really, almost worse because someone, I think it was you or maybe it was Dan. Someone said like, if you're doing blackface with two black guys like you have to keep them on a leash.

Yeah. But like he's like I didn't mean it like that. I didn't mean it like that. I just meant like you guys can't get separated. Put them in chains. Oh my god. Oh man that was awesome. Yeah you to keep them around. Just buy them.

You know what I mean? You should just do that. Just have a little auction. Well, you know, just don't let them leave. Here's the point. Shoot them if they do. Oh, man, I love it. Yo, so you just put a good blog, an interesting blog.

You down with, like, the documentary, like, the documentary craze, Netflix and all that shit? No, I don't believe in documentaries. You're going to be perfect here. Everyone loves documentaries. I've always preached against documentaries. It's bullshit. It's such bullshit. Oh, I love this guy. You can convince me of anything in the world

with three hours of my time and you've had unlimited editing. Nothing I can't believe. Did that's exactly what came out. Did you watch The Jinx with Robert Durst? No, I did not. Okay, so that was like the one, it didn't start the craze, but it really popularized it.

Yeah, it was 2015. Yeah, it was this, I mean, amazing case of this billionaire, outcast, black sheep brother of a family murdered a bunch of people and the final scene, spoiler alert, he goes to the bathroom after the interview seems like he didn't remember he was miked up and he said uh yeah i what he's

supposed to do is what did i do kill them all obviously right and that was completely fucking edited it was like he rambled to himself for like 15 minutes in there he said those things he didn't even say them in that order and like i mean he definitely didn't say them back to back but he didn't say that in that order it wasn't even what definitely didn't say them back to back, but he didn't even say them in that order. It wasn't even, what did I do? Killed them all, obviously. It's just him ranting. He's like, what do they even want from me in there? Killed them all, obviously. And he's just going on and on. And he ends with, what did I do?

And they just fucking caught it. Wow! Flipped it. So it's what did I do? Killed them all, obviously. I bet R. Kelly's holes are living a great life. I bet. That's all edited. He's hoes are living a great life I bet I saw edited he's feeding them grapes as we speak

I bet Michael Jackson had a fucking party with these kids every night oh man I don't believe any of it anymore I was looking for that I just spit a bunch my bad I was excited I've been trying to work on this premise for years.

I don't trust documentaries. It's bullshit. We all act like you know something from a documentary. No! Everyone acts like they do. They come in. Someone will watch a documentary Wednesday night, right? Thursday morning, come into the office.

Someone will just be like, hey, did you hear about the sea lions, the orcas over at SeaWorld? It's like, no. I don't have any interest in it. And they pull up a chair. You've got to watch this. I've got a lot to tell you. You watch the fucking documentary. You don't think.

People watch a documentary and think they're like, now these free thinkers. You think exactly how the fucking creator of that documentary wants you to think. You're actually the biggest sheep in the world. You're just spitting exactly what that guy wants you to think. Because it's all fucked up. You're like cinemaphile Al-Qaeda. Like, you've just been brainwashed into thinking this nonsense is all real. Exactly.

Get out of here. That's how it all started. We get, like, oh, now they're trying to tell me, like, climbing mountains freehand is hard. I bet that's just fucking easy. I could climb up right now. Yeah. Oh, it's a tough journey. That dude didn't do shit, I bet.

Fucking whatever that documentary was called. Nate won't shut the hell up about. That's what bothers me. I like the documentaries, but I got to go into it knowing you're going to be painting. They're going to paint the picture they want. So, you know, there was one of the fucking murder ones I watched. It was the Staircase was 13 episodes. It was a fucking season.

They didn't once mention that right before the woman died, the husband took a $4 million life insurance. Like, the day before. Took a policy out on her. He's never mentioned that? Never mentioned it. It was like, I watched fucking 13 hours of this shit. And that can't come up in 13 hours? And it was clearly because, you know, they wanted this guy to look innocent or whatever.

But I still find them interesting and shit. I just can't stand the people who come in who are now legal experts or psychologists who are like, did you see this? How about that? And now this, that, the other thing. Shut the fuck up, man. When I was younger, I was stupid enough to think that shit was real. I remember when I first listened to Serial, I listened to the first episode

and I was living at home still and I was like screaming at my mom. I was like, this dude down in Baltimore, Adnan, he's innocent. He didn't approach that shit mom like we gotta do something about this and then I think you get you get wrapped up in like the camaraderie of watching with people yeah and you think like we're all learning together and we're gonna we're gonna come together and then you step back and you're like wait you did it like it happens with every single documentary like with making a murderer I was like they're all innocent so fucking boring and then i didn't like that one

at least the podcast i can do other things make it you're gonna make me sit here and watch making a murderer for six hours yeah and then it's like this fucking fat white trash didn't get definitely murdered like for sure it was i remember i thought both of them were very innocent and then probably like three months passed and I thought about it again. I was like, wait a second. It's like you come out of that brainwash. Like, you fucking did it. What was I all riled up about?

If you trust anything that anybody's ever shown you, period. I just don't trust anybody ever. They're all lying all the fucking time, man. Yeah, none of you know anything. And it's like if I talked about what a big Harry Potter fan I am and how much I knew about it and I only watched the movies, that's what you're doing with documentaries. Yeah. You haven't read a book.

You watch the movies. There's so much more to it. You don't know shit. Everyone's like, I mean, everyone's lying. That's a fact. And everyone's an idiot. Also a fact. I think that's, yeah.

I can believe, I can definitely believe the second and most of the first. Who's this fucking Cosmos, Neil deGrasse Tyson? Yeah, yeah, yeah. This guy's ruining everybody. Everybody thinks they're an astrologer now, whatever the fuck you call him, because of this guy. You don't know anything. He's like the worst follow on Twitter, too.

Shit's on your whole day. He's always correcting movies. He corrected The Avengers. He's like, well, actually, Thanos... What's his name? Yeah. Thanos wouldn't need to snap, because we actually have endless resources in this whole universe. Shut up, Neil deGrasse Tyson. I'm watching a fucking movie. Thanos wouldn't need to snap because we actually have like endless resources in this whole universe shut up Neil deGrasse Tyson

I'm watching a fucking movie give me the goddamn popcorn and shut your mouth are you in on this Avenger shit you like the comedy movies oh I'm in on the Avengers let me say this that's how I know

Neil deGrasse Tyson is innocent too because no girl's gonna want to sit there and listen to you fucking talk for long enough for you to assault anybody they're gonna be like

I'm out man I can't do this this is so boring Jesus I'm trying to have a good time I was maybe gonna fuck're going to be like, I'm out, man. I can't do this. This is so boring. Jesus. I'm trying to have a good time. I was maybe going to fuck you, but now you're boring. I'm out of here. Yo, imagine if Neil deGrasse Tyson was throwing down.

Well, I mean, he was. He probably is. I mean, he's out. Well, he's probably fucking. Maybe not well, but, like, he's got to have some science groupies. I know what you're saying about, like, boring. I'm not saying they're, like, girls that we would want to fuck, but you think there's gotta have some science groupies I know what you're saying about like boring I'm not saying they're like girls that we would

wanna fuck but you think there are science groupies to the extent like he knows like the angles I think he'd talk himself out of sex he'd be like well you know

I'm only excited because of this response and there's actually millions of these whores in the world and it's like Christ man can you just enjoy

one thing but like the angles and shit like that I don't even know the anatomy of it all but like you throw a pillow under your girl's back and she's like, whoa! Degrassi Tyson's probably got like a pulley, pulling your legs up and shit.

He's got like, what is it? This is the exact angle. He's got like one of those fucking things. You're like, Tyler, this is the best way for your body to be contorted during this move. And it's just like, yeah, Neil deGrasse Tyson. I'm telling you. He might ruin fucking movies, but he improves sex. And Neil deGrasse Tyson he went and ruined fucking movies but he improved sex

if Neil deGrasse Tyson is making bitches cum it's gonna make me rethink the whole fucking world man just squirting all over his globes everywhere all over his apartment

you're a comic book dude though you you going to Avengers I didn't like comic books but then these movies made me like I love all these movies basically yeah I feel like I've had my fill though I feel like fucking 15 of them or whatever I didn't like comic books, but then these movies made me... I love all these movies, basically.

I feel like I've had my fill, though. I feel like fucking 15 of them or whatever. I saw the new one. It's good. It kind of wraps it up, and I'm like... I know they're going to make them forever, but we've seen a lot of fucking comic book movies in the past 20 years.

I'm very worried it's going to be disappointing. It's not. I mean, if you liked Infinity War, you'll like this because it's just the same movie. They just keep going. So it's like a five-hour. You've got to think of it as like a five-and-a-half-hour movie. That's fantastic.

And they do it really well. Yeah, they do it well. So there was a funny scene that I told on the last podcast. There was a guy behind me who was like this disabled dude who was snoring the whole time. He wasn't asleep, but he was just going. Right. Throughout three hours, three hours and five minutes of arguably the most important movie maybe of the century. It was crazy.

No, I went to see Django Unchained with my roommate from, no, one of my best friends from high school was a white dude. And my roommates in college are all black. So I'm, I don't, I'm not the guy who's going to be like uncomfortable navigating certain situations. But we go see the movie and it's literally just us, some old couple in the front row, and then three black people who sit directly behind us for no reason at all. And then every time Samuel L. Jackson is like, I'm cackling laughing. And my white friend cannot laugh because he's sitting directly in front of three black people, and he's too worried about what they're going to think. And it was the best movie experience I've ever had in my life. I mean,

I was howling. See, I feel like you get like you're like an in-between. You know what I mean? I feel like you can get away with that. Post 9-11,

I feel like black people and I can bond about racism. You know what I mean? Like, there's a connection. That's true. What are you going to tell me I haven't been through?

I'll be honest, I've had it worse since 2001. All right, bro? Cops don't like you. Feds don't like me. It's a, you know, it is what it is. We navigate the world how we navigate. The movies, seeing something like that as a white dude almost like puts us on your level

with like the feds and the cops. It is uncomfortable and horrible and everyone hates us. Like, I'm still holding doors open for black people because I saw 12 years of slavery. You gotta hold the door open for 12 years. I'm like, bro, I saw it. Anyone else?

Anyone black people want to come through? I'll hold it. Don't even jog. Don't even jog. Take your fucking time, man. You earned this. I got it for you. 2029, you can stop holding doors open.

You did your 12 years. I need an app that says, are any black people in the area coming into the same building as me? I got it. Oh, my goodness. That's so funny. Yeah, that'll go over well. A white guy, I need an app that locates the blacks around me. Well, I swear, for nice reasons.

I went to see, do you remember the movie Belly? Yes. I went to see that when it came out. Fantastic movie. In Yonkers. I mean, I was me. DMX is hometown too. Yes. Y.O., baby. Home of the Brave. And it was me and like my idiot wannabe black friends. Right.

And that's it. And everybody else was black. And that was the moment I realized, like, you should probably just be a white kid. Like, stop with like the jerseys and the Timberlands. Just, like, put on a fucking J.Crew polo and cut it out. No, we all need those moments. I've had those moments with most races, to be honest.

You're not them or them. A couple of devastating moments in my life, psychologically. I'm like, oh, okay, that's okay. I don't fit in here. Got it. Got it. What was the weirdest one? Like, the most uncomfortable one, I that's okay. I don't fit in here. Got it. Got it. What was the weirdest one? Like the most uncomfortable one, I guess.

Yeah, I don't know. I know there was a couple in high school and then like. You found out you weren't white? I tried to be really white and then enough kind of whatever racist stuff happened or whatever that I'm like, oh, I'm just like the idea that I thought they would see me as themselves was just crazy. Yeah. You look at me, you're going to see a brown guy and that's fine.

There's nothing wrong with it. It's a human being with eyes. Yeah. And then with black people, when I had four black roommates and we started dancing, it was obvious. I swear to God.

I learned how. I had to catch up. But I was like, oh, this is a thing, huh? And then they start shouting out movies you never heard of. Like, The Five Heartbeats

is a massive movie in the black community. No one knows if they don't have, you don't have four black friends, you don't know about the five heartbeats yeah that's a mathematical rule i never even couldn't even tell you one thing about it if you say is there a heart in the house tonight at a magic johnson theater everybody will finish everybody knows the next line yeah you see the shit about magic with the emails uh no rob polinka and genie buss were emailing each other uh just talking shit about

magic and how bad of a job he was doing they were cc'ing him she accidentally cc'd him on the email oh my god is that why you quit so i don't know yeah that's that's why he's crazy though like because if that happened to me i guess that shows the the difference between me and like magic johnson aside from oh there's another difference. And talent, you know. But like if that happened to me, if there was an email chain about how like I'm not doing well at work and I don't know what I'm doing. Yeah. Guess what? I fucking just keep doing what I do.

Yeah. I'm like, you're getting paid. I'm like, yeah, like you're the idiots who keep signing my checks. Right. I would just delete those and just be like, no, I didn't see any emails you're talking about. That's that's that's an absolute no brainer. But no, I didn't see any emails. What are you talking about? That's an absolute no-brainer. But also, I would make you fire me.

I don't know. At the same time, if you had like hundreds of millions of dollars, you'd probably be like, fuck this. I'm not sitting around with you two morons. I don't think it'd be about the money.

It would be about fuck you. Yeah. Fuck you, I'm staying. Right, right. Whatever you want, which is clearly me out, I'm not going to give you. Dude, I would stay

and tamper nonstop. Text messages with Antonio, emails, phone calls, record myself having a phone call, get them to lose all their draft picks and then get fired. That's exactly what I would do. You just keep... To sabotage. See if you can take down the Los Angeles

Lakers. Right. And like how inept can I be where they'll just still send me emails? Maybe that's what he was doing. No, maybe. Like that press conference he had, that impromptu press conference. I would have held that. And I just been like, Anthony Davis, you've got to come here. You have to come here. Right.

And they'd be like, what the hell? Give you everything you want. Bitches, weed, whatever. Do it all, man. Just go. Go balls out. Because Jeannie, he said, was like his sister. Yeah.

And then to have that email and you're not on it. My sister sent that email. That's a problem. Yeah and you're not on it. My sister sent that email. That's a problem. Yeah, that's not great. If my sister sent that email, I'd be like, yeah, I get it. Self-awareness, baby. I mean, Magic, listen, dude. The emails are probably like his tweets are so fucking stupid.

He's always so obvious when he talks. Him and Neil deGrasse Tyson are the worst followers on Twitter. You got to mute him. You just got to. You can't function otherwise. The accidental CC is a dangerous game, though. That might have been an accidental on purpose, to be honest. Oh.

You know, like the Larry David. Because she did. She gave him like the... She wasn't even like, oh, we love Magic. You gotta stay. She was like, don't... Okay, peace. Like, yeah, that's fine.

Okay. Yeah, so maybe that was just the way they did it. Not even mad that he talked to her about it. Just like, sure, see you later. Yeah. Dude, Magic is so classy. Yeah, he really is, to be honest. What a classy way to exit.

You think so? A drunk press conference? That was heartbroken. Well, considering what it was, it could have been a lot worse. Yeah, and then his reason for not telling Jeannie was, oh, I love her and she loves me, and if she asked me to stay, I would end up staying. He could have easily been like... Well, that's also like, he was just afraid.

That's some shit I would say if I was too afraid to have a conversation. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. But he could have said,

listen, she's sending these emails about me, like I'm a monster. He could have been like, fuck these people. Yeah. Didn't do it.

He, when he did that face, when it was like, it was the most clear drunk face ever when he was like, and they're having meetings about what's going to be

going on next year. And I was like, he used your face right now. It's's cool i get it i would i'd fucking pop bottle champagne the moment i quit my job too but magic you're drunk yeah that the whole like i wanted to be able to tweet about players makes a lot more like okay that you just you have to make something up you've seen the tweets even today no what do you say like i think one was the n draft will be on at 9pm. He's just there. He's just a TV guy. What a great...

Can't wait to watch the NFL draft on ABC at 9pm. Is he back commentating on anything? No. I'm sure he will be now, though. I thought he wasn't doing that even before the Lakers. No, he was popping on the ABC broadcast. Not on the TNT one, but I think on the ABC he was jumping in.

So bad. So bad. It's just like, you're basketball royalty, so you're never going to say no. Yes. But, I mean, you're not good at this. It is one of those things where you're seeing him or any other former player, really, or some former players, when they talk about basketball, and you're like, oh, wait, we can talk about basketball, because you always think, like, you didn't play the game, shut up.

It's like, well, you did play the game, you just can't articulate it. Right. We're going to have to carry the torch here. We'll bring one of you on to chime in every once in a while, and then we'll carry the conversation. Yeah, absolutely. Magic is interesting because he's so fantastic at so many things, building financial empires, greatest point guard of all time.

And then he's so bad at other things, like using protection. He's also fantastic at beating AIDS. The best. The best of all time. Very bad at not getting AIDS. There's no in-betweens in magic. That is his magic. All strengths and weaknesses.

No gray area. I mean, to be honest, if I was a professional athlete in the 80s, I would have AIDS. I'd use a condom. That's fair. For sure. I don't know. I wonder if AIDS was still really popping. Do you remember when the players,

when he came back? I'm not considering it even slightly now. If AIDS was still really popping right now, would you use a condom? And I'm like it would probably STDs are never the thing that worry me It's always pretty easy. But that's because we I'm like, well I'll just pull out, we'll be fine

But that's also because AIDS was not like I feel like herpes is still around If I was at Coachella where I guess there was just a herpes outbreak, I wouldn't be using condoms at Coachella. That's what I'm saying. Which is basically the 80s. Yeah, I think I would just be like,

if I die, I die. The amount of drug use, ridiculous band names, terrible music, and people dressed like assholes. Coachella is the 80s. That's so funny. That's such a good take. Oh my God.

But no, I was thinking about, remember when Magic tried to come back and players were like. I'm not guarding him. Carmelone. Players were like. Carmelone flat out was like, I'm not going near that guy. Imagine that. Holy shit. Give me a 12-year-old to fuck.

Malone's a rapist. That goes so under the radar. It's so crazy. You know what? Oh, he's canceled. Carmelone's going to get canceled next. What did he do? I just laughed. Yeah, he's fucked like 14-year's so crazy. You know what? Oh, he's canceled. Carmel is going to get canceled next. What did he do? I just laughed.

Yeah, he's fucked like 14-year-old girls. Yeah. Really? I want to say there was a 12-year-old in there somewhere. It's bad. He's like an actual rapist. It's real bad. Yeah.

He's a monster of a guy. I mean, he's Mississippi. He's down in one of those southern spots where there either are no laws, or if they are, they're completely ignored. And it's, I think he- He went to Louisiana Tech. So, Ruston, Louisiana, if you guys haven't been there, it ignored and it's I think he he went to Louisiana Tech so Ruston, Louisiana if you guys haven't been there

it's just hell I haven't been there it's the worst you've seen some terrible shit on the road when you go tour yeah but in Ruston

my cousin actually went to school there terrible choice by him yeah really terrible choice he ended up being a doctor somehow I think it's just

the Indian carried him yeah but I remember going to the school and being like, God give an Indian. Just carry through. That's probably why I went.

There's nothing else to do in Ruston except study. And if you're calm alone, fuck children. That's how you function in Ruston, I guess. How did you Schultz and Kaz link up?

That's the other guy on Flagrant 2, Kaz. Yes. Schultz and I have been friends for like, I moved to New York in 2008 and he's one of the first people I met. Randomly,

we were going to this like hood show, I guess. I don't know, it wasn't actually hood but it was like the Black Circuit had these other shows that I was friends with

a bunch of black comics so they're like, yo, go check out this room. Show got canceled. I remember I met Andrew and this is back when New York is always ahead of fashion, right?

So nobody was wearing really skinny jeans back then, but Andrew was wearing pretty skinny jeans. I was like, who's this bitch-ass white dude? But he was at this show in Brooklyn that was going to be, you know, all-black audience, whatever. And I was like, well, you know, I shouldn't judge him too much, whatever. And then he just met. We said, what's up? He gave me a ride home because the show got canceled. And then we started talking about comedy, we had like the exact same taste.

And then, you know, over the year or whatever, my first year in New York, I would see him occasionally. And we just always thought on a very similar wavelength. And what year is this? Sorry. 2008. All right. So it's been a while.

Yeah. So then we just got closer and closer. And then he did Brilliant Idiots and he was blowing up. And then an opportunity to do another podcast with me came along and we were both excited about it. And then Kaz, we filled in for Brilliant Idiots one time. Andrew and Kaz had a relationship. I just met him there.

Got him. But Andrew and I were always kind of thinking, like, a third would be nice. And Kaz, the chemistry just worked immediately. Yeah, he's a funny cat, too. So, yeah, so we just said, let's do this. And it's a good vibe. You got the white guy, you got the Indian dude,

and the black guy. Kaz is black, so it's like, you guys can say whatever you want. We really have any time. You got it all covered. Our producers are another black dude and a Nicaraguan. So like,

it's like, we just need a Chinese dude and we got whatever. Free reign. That's like, this guy's whole crew of college friends were all,

he was the only white guy, but you had everybody. They call them the United Nations. It was like, I mean, you had Thai, Dominican,

black, white, Indian. I went to spring break with all of them. I was like, the only white person and it was like, I mean, you had Thai, Dominican, black, white, Indian. I went to spring break with all of them. I was like the only white person. And it was like right around we were going to, it was like after 9-11. So it was like we were invading places and stuff like that. And they were like, we're not going to get old.

We're not going to get old. They were worried we weren't going to be able to come back. And they're like, no, no, no. We're going to say we got one white guy. Everybody will be, you know, send the troops. Get our white boy back send the troops uh all right we the other guys got the studio here so we're gonna wrap it up we'll go do answer the internet but i appreciate you coming through uh flagrant two is the podcast you're on akash singh on twitter yes sir a-k-a-a-s-h and then singh is

give it a follow it's uh it's uh it's uh. It's Aziz Ansari if you didn't give up. Fuck! Thank you, man. Thank you. Pleasure to meet you. Big thank you to Akash Singh. Go follow him on Twitter. A-K-A-A-S-H-S-I-N-G-H.

Akash Singh. Very funny cat. And we're going to wrap things up today with a motherfucking legend goddamn icon of not just acting but just of human life he's just one of the

best humans he is so nice there's no it's not a coincidence he dresses preposterously but so nice absurd

absolutely absurd but there's really no coincidence it's not it's not by accident that the two guys who we met recently

who are acting legends for over fucking four or five decades, Danny DeVito and Henry Winkler, they're both exceptionally nice and polite and engaging men. And they're both married forever. They are just stand-up guys, work hard forever, great roles, funny people. And that's the type of guy the Fonz is in real life. Very thoughtful, very engaging. And if you're not watching Barry, watch Barry. What are you doing?

I forget we jumped into so many series. I forget if we talked about it in this episode or on radio or whatever, but this past episode of Barry was so much better than this past episode of Game of Thrones. It was a great, great episode. And I mean, I'll put the first two seasons of Barry up against any of the recent comedies or even dramas because it's kind of a dark comedy dramedy. It's unbelievable stuff with Bill Hader and Henry Winkler. So go check it out on HBO.

And Alec Berg. I don't know what that's from, but it looks like something. Alec Berg. He's the co-producer and writer Maybe it's from like 30 Rock Alec Berg Whatever Fuck it listen to Henry Winkler

Talk to him Oh I met Action Bronson You did? On the street. Just now? No, two years ago. You met Action Bronson? You're great.

Well, we have a story. We have a story for you. You doing a lot of press, a lot of interviews today? Yeah. Yeah. But, you know, that's my job. That's actually how it's been described to us before, is that acting or entertaining, whatever it is,

singing is what you like to do, but the job is when you've got to promote. Yeah, and you've got to make people know that it's here. Well, I mean, I think with this one, you're okay. I think a lot of people know about Barry. Oh, Barry. Yeah, but we still need more people. As many eyeballs as you can get, right? Yeah. All set? Yeah. Okay, but still, we need more people. As many eyeballs as you can get, right? Yeah.

All set? Yeah. Okay. It's KFC Radio featuring an icon, a legend. Who's that? Henry Winkler. I mean, you really are. You seem, already, after just meeting you for about two seconds, I'd imagine you're

going to be very humble and deflecting and say, who's that? But you really are. I mean, you have been in. You know what? I'll tell you, I'm old. So once you reach a certain age, you know, you get to be an icon. It's true. No, that's I mean, you have to be part of it, but you also have to be very funny, very talented, win awards and all of it.

You've done all that. So it's it's an honor to even be in the room with you. You just mentioned to my co-host, John, here that you are familiar with the rapper Action Bronson. Yes. But he's also a foodie. Yes. Right? And I met him outside of a pop-up of Franklin's Barbecue from Austin, Texas in L.A. Did you have a good interaction with him?

Yes. He uses bad words. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And he wanted me to use bad words. I just couldn't. Well, he was using bad words and he was directing them at me a mere, I don't know, 10, 20 minutes ago. He wasn't a sense of humor?

No, no. It was the only interview I've ever had that has gone really off the rails and become very contentious. And why? What did you do? I asked him a question about...

What question could that possibly be? He had a rap beef, as they say, with another rapper named Ghostface Killer. And I wanted to get his thoughts on that. And I asked him the question. I posed it to him in a way. We always ask all of our guests this question, and you can answer it as well. If you had to pick one human to be an ambassador for the human race to meet aliens for the first time, who would you pick?

Well, if he was still alive, Muhammad Ali. Great pick. I would. He was such a man of the world. He was loving. He was funny. He was great at what he did. And he didn't seem to have a lot of judgment.

And I have always dreamt that an alien being, a craft, would land in my vicinity. I have no idea why. Do you think it's going to happen one day? I think so. We actually have someone in the control room right now. Zah. He's from Africa. He's from Zimbabwe. He saw aliens.

How are you? He claims that he was in elementary school and that there was some sort of craft that landed in a field near his school. I did a show. I also believe that they will be friendly. Yeah? Really?

I'm not kidding. What makes you think that? I don't know. It is just in my DNA. Come all this way just to be friends? I think so. Because humans, we don't really deserve friendly. That is true.

That is true. Especially some of the humans we have on the planet today. Yeah. They deserve to be taken. But the fact is that I did a show called sightings, seven years of exploring anything paranormal. And it was fascinating. You've done it all. Your career runs deep.

Well, I always loved the subject. And we posed, said, look, this is happening. People saying this is happening. So we're going to go and explore it. I have no idea if it's true. I have no idea if it's really going on. But we sent producers and a film crew. It was amazing.

So you wholeheartedly believe? I wholeheartedly believe we are not alone in this vast universe. Right. I cannot believe we are the only living beings. I'm with you there. Yeah. I'll co-sign that 100%. Most definitely.

Whoopsie. That's all right. Just kick my bottle of water. Disastrous office. So anyway, I had said to him, how about we send Ghostface Killer, which is the rapper he had problems with. And I just thought it was kind of a playful way to bring up this very publicized fight that we had. And he did not appreciate it, and he ended up telling me he was going to slam me through a wall. Wow.

But for real. Yeah, he was really not happy. Yeah, we just pretty much ended the interview there, and he was out of here. So going from that to you, and you seem like a very, very nice guy. Let me tell you what I am. I am grateful. I am grateful I'm on the planet. I'm grateful that I had a dream, and I'm still living it. I'm grateful that I'm on this show, Barry.

What are you most grateful for? Did I mention that it was on HBO, 10 o'clock, Sunday night? Premier, yeah. Sunday night, 10 o'clock. You've been on so many iconic shows. Yeah. What is your best, your favorite one? Okay.

If we had to do. That is the one question I don't have an answer for, and I'll tell you why. I love my job. So I get on a show, and I think, okay, Arrested Development. I was asked to do two episodes. I stayed for five years. Happy Days, I had six lines. I was a character that was only supposed to be on seven out of 13.

And it grew into this phenomenon that blew me out of the water. Right? 126 countries. Still, wherever I go, I am invited into somebody's house for dinner because I played that character. Really?

Yeah. I saw a line today that someone had said that you were wearing windbreakers to start because the network didn't want you wearing a leather jacket. They thought I would be associated with crime. So I wore a McGregor golf jacket. Wow. A golf jacket.

Yeah. I didn't know that. And then what happened? Like you decided, they decided. Gary Marshall went to ABC and said, you know, if he's wearing a jacket like that and he's riding a motorbike, he could be hurt. So, you know, and they said, you know, if he's wearing a jacket like that and he's riding a motorbike, he could be hurt. So, you know, and they said, all right, so when he's in a scene with his bike, he can wear leather.

Gary Marshall, because there were no cell phones at that time, called from ABC to the writer's room at Paramount and said, never write another scene without his bike. And then you see me wheeling it into Arnold's, having it in my apartment, you know, and then finally everybody, they just gave up. And iconic look. I mean, iconic lines. LaFontaine is, I mean, he bridges, uh, Robbie Fox is, uh, he's, he is probably our youngest guy out here.

I think now he's 20, but he started here when he was 18 years old. Right. And he told me he has never seen an episode of Happy Days, and he loves the Fonz. Really? He said that he used to just always walk around going, hey. We just went to the Marvel movie because I heard that they find this thing that is, like, powerful, and the good guys want it, and the bad guys want it, and they put it in a Fonzie lunchbox. Yeah, they do. And for the next 20 minutes, the lunchbox gets all over the screen.

It was amazing. I went, I would like that lunchbox. I would like that lunchbox. I think you deserve it, too. I think whoever has that should give it to Henry Winkler. Well, you know, the prop people made more than one.

Yeah. All right. You know, I'll sign yours and you give me one. So that was, uh, I think that's probably what put you on the map, right?

Without a doubt. But I mean, you've been, you've been famous for a long time now, man. Right. I mean, we,

we had just, we've interviewed Danny DeVito a couple of weeks ago. Danny DeVito was in the soundstage right next door in taxi. And we were doing, uh, uh, happy days on Paramount lot. I directed my first afterschool special and I asked Danny to be the, uh, used car salesman in the movie, he said yes. Wow. What a combo there. I've known him for 40 years. And you guys have both been pretty famous

and pretty damn successful for 40 years. It's a long run. And you know what is funny is that in just the brief time I've gotten to talk to you and Danny, I had asked him how do you find that type of longevity? How do you last that long? From my point of view too, both of you guys seem to be the nicest people I've ever met

and I think that goes a long way what did he say because it's not nice it's will tenacity I think he was pretty humble and I think he threw in some luck in there too I think it's I think everyone I'll ask that sometimes.

I'll say, you know, what, what makes you, you, why, why are you so talented? Why are you,

have you had such great success? Kind of like we're saying, and everyone always says, well, I don't think that's it. I think it's talent. Yeah. You're pretty talented.

you gotta have the talent. So what I say to young people who want to be an actor, I say, be honest about your ability. You know, the self-awareness is the key. There is no, there is, yes. The self-awareness is the key. Yes, the self-awareness is the key.

So that's part of it. All right? We put self-awareness in there. Okay. Because if you have no talent, you have good looks, you can get a job, and then you fade into the sunset. I did not want to be a flash in the pan. Will, because it is a very difficult industry to get the job in the first place and then keep a job coming. You know, so will, self-awareness, training your talent, and then you got to take your pick and your shovel, and you got to mine the system every day. You cannot wait for somebody to do it for you.

You have an agent. You have a manager. You've got a posse. You've got to do it yourself. Do you feel, though, that you seem very, very nice, but can niceness ever maybe hold you back in a way? No, and I'll tell you why, because I don't think of myself as nice. What I think of myself

is just grateful. I am happy to be right in this chair, right in this studio, talking to the three of you. No, you're not. You don't have to lie to us, Henry. Come on. You've done a lot cooler stuff than that, man. Come on.

For this Barstool Sports, I just did a pizza crawl. We just went and raided a pizza in some alley all the way downtown. It was phenomenal. I gave it an eight, and the host gave it a 6.1. Oh, wow. So you guys have a difference of opinion. We were talking about DeFaras in Brooklyn, which is like Oh, wow. So you guys have a difference of opinion. We were talking about Defaras in Brooklyn, which is like

a thousand. Where's home for you? Well, I was born on 78th and Broadway. Oh, okay. And I now live in L.A., but my body lives in L.A. My heart lives here and my soul lives on a trout stream somewhere in the west.

I was reading about that. You're a big fly fisher. I love to fish for trout. Interesting. How did you get into that being from New York? My lawyer, Skip Rittenham III, took Stacey. Great lawyer name. Thank you.

I would sign that. That's better than Barry Zuckerkorn. He took us in the 80s on a trip down the Smith River in Montana. I'm getting a phone call. You want to take it? My tush is vibrating. You can take it if you want. I will not take it.

I will just make sure. Is it Ron Howard? Is it? No, it is famous. It could be my wife. Talk to her. Hello. Oh, Angela, I'm going to call you back.

Okay. Angela is our assistant in my house in Los Angeles. That's fantastic. Okay. And he blows an in-house assistant. That's great to me. Yes, how I do it. You know, yeah.

I've got some. We have no rugs, but we have an assistant. Yeah. So fly fishing in Montana. It is the greatest. It's like a washing machine for your brain. Yeah. Well, so do you like the actual act of fishing?

Yes. Or is it just something? Because I remember my father, my grandfather, this is a famous story he always tells everyone in my family. My grandfather, my mother's father, took my dad out fishing one day. Right. And it was kind of a big deal to get the city island in the Bronx. Right.

And so. That's a different kind of fishing. Definitely. We're not talking beautiful fly fishing. We're talking about Long Island Sound catching Island. Okay. Right. And so. That's a different kind of fishing. Definitely. We're not talking, you know, beautiful fly fishing. We're talking about Long Island Sound catching mutilated blues, you know. Right. But it was a big deal to get the official ask to go out. Right.

And, you know, they got out to the middle of nowhere. They turned off all the music. They put their fishing rods down. They opened up the beer and they just started drinking. Yeah. And he said, oh, this is not fishing. You guys are just trying to get away from the women for a day. So in their mind, that was what fishing was.

Okay, now I do fish in my own boat. My wife fishes in her own boat. We meet for lunch along the bank. No way. Yeah. And it's the greatest thing I know. For me, you're out there. You cannot think of anything else because the line

between you and the fish is as thin as the button you know is the thread that sews your button on and if you horse the fish you've lost it so you've got to it's very zen

it seems like it's a metaphor for life for a lot of things it's the only adult book I ever wrote like it's a metaphor for life, for a lot of things, fishing. Great. It's the only adult book I ever wrote, and it's called I Never Met an Idiot on the River. And it's my photograph. I haven't been fishing with you yet. What were your, what's it like to be the inspiration, the creator, whatever you want to call it, of the phrase Jump the Shark? Okay, so. Which I'm sure you've been asked a million times, but I got to hear it for your mouth. Okay, so first of all, we were a number one show four years after that phrase. So

apparently it didn't apply to us. Yeah, right. I actually, you know what, I never knew that. They kept, yeah, they were still going strong? Yeah. That's a totally different thing. Now, if you watch the episode, you will see me finish water skiing, land on the beach, step out of the skis, and smile. Half the smile is Henry going, oh my God, I can't believe I just did that. And the other half is the Fonz going, all right, I did that. Mm-hmm. But, you know, that's interesting, though, because I do feel like a lot of times when fans or someone is accusing you of jumping the shark, you really haven't. You're still, like,

in your prime crushing it, and they're just haters. Or they just want to be cool and use the phrase. Yeah. My father, they escaped Nazi Germany. They come here to New York. And my father would tell me all the time, tell Kelly Marshall that you water ski. This is a good thing.

Tell him that. I said, daddy is not interested. For years. He told me, he said, no, no,

no. Tell Kelly Marshall. So I finally said, my father wants you to know I water ski. And wouldn't you know it? There I am. Put it in the script. Yeah.

Really? Yeah. Doing your own stunts. It was about, well, I didn't jump the shark. That in the script. Yeah. Really? Yeah. Doing your own stunts. It was about, well, I didn't jump the shark. That was a guy they brought in from Sarasota, Florida.

Uh, we were reading about the, uh, your father and your family escaping Nazi Germany. And the story you told on, uh, what was the, the show?

Never, never the reality show about your uncle. I don't want to bring up a dark topic. Better late than never. Yeah. So I went looking for my roots in Berlin. This is a travel show I did on television with Bill Shatner, Terry Bradshaw, George Foreman. Hell of a guy.

Oh, my God. And Jeff Dye, a stand-up comedian. And they took me, unbeknownst to me, they took me to this house, and there was a number five on it. And there was a piece of paper stuck in the number five. And it was a letter from my children. This was the house that my father and his brother, who I never met, Helmut, lived in, worked in. And then I looked down and there was a plaque in the sidewalk with my uncle's name, his birthday, when he lived in this house and when he was taken to Auschwitz. And I lost it.

And I didn't. You didn't know this was coming at all? I had no idea it was coming. Nor did I know that I was going to be that emotional. Right, right. You know, I didn't particularly get along with my parents. They did not want me to be an actor. They wanted me to, you know, my father bought and sold wood.

Wanted me to buy and sell wood. I think you went to the right choice. Yeah. I mean, I can't think of anything more. Hollywood. So that was an emotional thing that we did in Berlin for Better Late Than Never. And the story of how he was supposed to come over with your family and waited an extra day. Yes, he waited an extra day because he was having a white smoking jacket made at the tailor and he was going to pick it up and leave with it.

And they picked him up and we never saw him again. They never saw him. Just about the worst luck in history. That's awful. Leave the white smoking jacket behind. But that kind of hate is now swirling in the world again. And I don't get it at all. It is – you can make a choice that we get along and enjoy or you don't have to bother with somebody if you don't like them.

But to hate so much. And in this country, it is completely losing the shape that I grew up knowing America to be. Happy days no longer, man. Oh, my God. That is not the vibe anymore. Hopefully, you know, the pendulum swings. But this is crazy. And, boy, I've never disliked golf so much in my life. You can poison that for you.

Now, we were talking about your show, Barry. Right. Which is on HBO. It's on HBO. On Sunday nights. 10 o'clock. It's an incredible, incredible show. I say it kind of gives me Breaking Bad vibes.

Oh, wow. That was a show. It was incredible. But Barry kind of, you know, he wants to get out of the game. You know, he wants to be.

Now that's the, the entire structure. I think of the second season is, can a person change their nature? Is it possible to literally become a different you? What do you believe? I believe it takes a lot of hard work if you want to do it. I believe you can change some stuff,

and some stuff is just baked into your DNA. I agree. I think, yeah, it takes, you know, the season ends. Season one ends with quite a turn. Oh, my goodness. It's going to be very tough to come back from that. Season two, if you thought season one was dark, season two, I had to use a flashlight. This is my wife, Stacey.

Hi, Stacey. Hi, Stacey. How are you? Nice to meet you. I had to use a flashlight to read the scripts in the second. Is it that dark? I've heard it's very, very dark. You're in a tough place.

Episode one premiered, and you are in a tough spot right now. I am so sad because the woman, the African-American detective, Detective Moss, Janice, that I loved, I can't find her. No one is looking for her. I can't understand it. So I'm giving up. I'm giving up. I'm giving up. And then as the season goes, it gets stronger and stronger. Yeah, it's a very interesting character.

The dynamic of everybody on the show with kind of the good and the bad, the funny and the dark is all very interesting. I always thought your character in Arrested Development was so funny. It was the first time I had seen you in anything other than as the Fonz. Right. And you talking about balls when you look at the blueprints. Oh, my God. When they were looking at the map. Those are balls. Those are balls.

Yeah. Barry Zuckercorn's sexuality is like in question. To say the least. Yeah. That show to me, I think, is still. I think under his clothing, he wears a lot of chiffon. is like in question. To say the least. That show to me, I think, is still... I think under his clothing, he wears a lot of chiffon. It's the funniest clever show I've ever watched. I was invited to be the lawyer for about one or two episodes. I stayed for five years.

Now, is that you or them or a mutual? That was mutual. Yeah, they said this is working. I just did what came to my mind. And Mitch Hurwitz, who is the writer of the show, is brilliant. Yeah. Like Bill and Alec Berg, who write Barry. They together, they produce it, they write it they they direct it and build stars in it so

combined they have nine nine jobs unbelievable yeah it's a great show it's sunday nights hbo uh give it a watch and uh i mean you're an icon man so thanks for about 50 years of entertainment thank you but this is i mean well i started my professional career on June 30th, 1970. Wow. And in East Hampton, Long Island, I was a member of the repertory company at Yale. And I did theater out there with the repertory company. Well, it worked. $173 a week.

And I was living my dream. Well, 50 years later, it's something, man. Thank you. Barry, Sunday nights, HBO. Give it a watch. Thank you. Thank you so much. What a pleasure.

Do you actually have...