KFC Radio - Aliens, Big Foot, and the Origins of Doggystyle

Episode Date: September 19, 2019

What would it be like to interview Big Foot? Why we should've all voted for Hillary (for the aliens).  Pornstar names. The dangers of hungover driving. The best HBO characters of all time. Voicemails: Girlfeind hobbies, A Girl Got Titties and Ass, Steak Sauce, and Wildly UnattractiveYou can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/kfcr

Hey, KFC Radio listeners, you can find every episode of KFC Radio on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. It's another edition of KFC Radio brought to you by Postmates. I have perfected the art of Postmates. For some reason, Shake Shack, near me in Yonkers, doesn't deliver drinks. They used to, now they stopped. So now, I gotta order my drinks from elsewhere. So I go on to Shake Shack.

I get myself some cheese fries. I get myself two cheeseburgers with shake sauce. I don't get the shake burger. Shack burger. I get the Shack sauce, but just on a plain cheeseburger. You feel me? This is a complicated order here. Well, it gets a lot more complicated.

And then ordinarily I would get myself a large soda. Can't do that anymore. Pop over to McDonald's. Or what I'll usually do is I look to see which other places have the same delivery time. But it's usually McDonald's. I get myself two apple pies and a drink. And then I get two deliveries. And I have timed this shit to a science where two times in a row now they show up at the exact same time.

And it is both satisfying. It is both like it is both uh like uh i feel i feel i feel amazing and then i also feel like deplorable because they get out and they go like i got your delivery like do we have both deliveries here and i'm like yep yep yeah they're both fine you knocked out of the park guys perfect like good timing and i grab them both i go back upstairs because also not only would i recommend doing that for a place like shake shack that apparently just doesn't put drinks on the menu anymore but you know that that mcdonald's found soda it's different it slaps a little different so they say i don't drink soda but i've been i've heard things mr fucking high and mighty over here it's i just don't like it i know

that's what's funny is like you're deplorable in all these other ways but you don't drink soda it like i don't like it it It burns. That's not for me. That's the best part. That's what hits different about the McDonald's, the Sprite. It's like, ah, ah, feels great. That Sprite straw, that McDonald's straw is nice and big. You suck that dick. You take down that big gulp.

It feels great. And yeah, so what I do is I time my Postmates. I get them delivered from all over the place. I'll be honest, throwing out the tips is not great. It's a lot of extra money. But for that perfect meal, when it gets delivered right to your door and you have everything come together, maybe even order a dessert from a third one,

it's decadent satisfaction. What are you talking about? You don't count your apple pie as a dessert? No, that's like a snack. Snack's a dessert. Snack's not a dessert. Dessert's a dessert. Snack's a snack.

I think. I mean, I definitely have considered. I think unanimously the world would select that apple pie counts as a dessert. It does. But if I want, like, there's a dessert and then there's a snack, like, later at night. Oh, you save it. You don't eat it right away. Maybe I eat that right away.

Maybe I save it for later. But I have to have something right after dinner and then I have to have something later at night. Right. Okay. So I'll order maybe some fried Oreos from another place. And that's what I eat before bed you got a fucking problem huh go to postmates download the app use the promo code kfc get a hundred dollars off your delivery charge when you uh use promo code kfc for the next seven days hundred dollars free delivery

go get it It's game time. We got voicemails on deck today. No guest. Me and Johnny flying solo. Tonight we got a live show. By the time you listen to this, we will have already... By the time you listen to this, we'll be hung over on New Amsterdam vodka.

That's right. Thank you to them for sponsoring the show. Big shout out. It's a big step. Thank you to them for the amount of drinks people will give to me tonight of New Amsterdam vodka. But hey, if you're going to get drinks shoveled down your throat, New Amsterdam is the best to get shoveled down.

This is true. So we got voicemails coming up later. And you are the oldest in your family? Yes. And you have one younger brother, right? One younger brother, two younger sisters. Right. So what would you do if Benny Fights ever threatened to kill your girlfriend

and your unborn son he probably deserved it i i've known my brother for a long victim shaming i know my brother for a long time i don't think he's threatened to kill anyone who didn't serve it i think i honestly well here's the deal aaron carter has well you know in case you didn't know this is a reference to an to a story i didn't just i to a story. Aaron Carter, brother of Backstreet Boy Nick Carter. They need to get a restraining order. Nick Carter and his sisters are getting a restraining order on Aaron Carter because he threatened to kill Nick Carter's pregnant wife. Look, if my wife demanded I take a side in that,

she's like, do you know what your brother did to me? Your brother threatened to kill me. Oh, boy. And you need to decide, is he going to go to jail or are you gonna protect this family i would say did you make how i beat shack because there's your fucking answer honey what have you done that greatness was as culturally important as how i beat shack you think You think I'm going to side with someone with a brain that creative? You think I'm not going to side with a brain that creative?

What have you done for this world? If Aaron Carter goes to jail, the world loses a talent. What happens if you die? Nothing. Aaron Carter, I think I'm comfortable saying that he is the least deserving famous person of all time. Oh, I don't know if I'm comfortable saying that he is the least deserving famous person of all time oh I don't know if I'm comfortable saying that oh no no he's the one he's the one he's the one as far as like entertainers like there are bad people who get fame for the wrong reasons as far

as people who are like I'm trying to make music I'm trying to make movies I'm trying to make music. I'm trying to make movies. I'm trying to be an entertainer like me. And the world said, okay, we will like you. That might be the rock bottom. That to me was one where, you know, that's like a cliche. Like if aliens came down and saw this, they'd turn around and be like, never mind. Not worth it. Not in this planet. No good. They like this fucking guy.

I wouldn't, I don't even think his brother is. What about Aaron's party? Is that the song? Yeah, the song. It's a his brother is a singer. What about Aaron's Party? Is that the song? Yeah, the song. It's a fucking heater of a song. Now, there was one that, like, it kind of, it goes. I know what you're talking about. But, like, that's not enough to be, to be, I Want Candy.

That's the real one, right? But this is just, like, another song. He just, like, stole this song. Yeah, this is just not his song. I want Candy. That's the real one, right? But this is just like another song. He just like stole this song. Yeah, this is just not his song. I want candy. Oh, this one. Sooner or Later has 86 million views. Or streams.

I don't remember this one. This is a new one. This is actually pretty good, I think. It's got 86 million streams. It's got to be pretty decent. Yeah, it was. I honestly think it's like six months old. Well, right.

But, you know, what I'm saying, obviously it's got some legs to it. Here's Aaron's part. No, I mean like 86 million views in six months is really good. Oh, yeah. I mean, this is just a hate. He's a little bit old school for you. They go to the club.

What was he like, 10 when he made this? I always tried to be the fly kid in the club. Oh, this is terrible. I'm the pop of the world with the rise and stop. So that's when I had this bright idea. For all the party of my life. I'm not fighting for heat. All the fine girls can turn it down.

Absolutely not. I stand by what I said, although I do want to hear this. I fuck with this. But this is like cookie cutter. Like we could make this song. We got to get into the pop game. That's true. We got to get into the musical game.

What would you do? What would you do if Brendan said it to you? If you wanted to murder my... Let's not do that one. As I said it, I'm like, whoops. If I threatened to murder your wife, it would be messy. Because he would have to side with me.

I would? Not him. Hey, listen, honey. I love you, but we spend like 50 to 60 hours a week this is what i mean this is just a numbers game here i gotta pick whatever's gonna make my life easiest here i got what a mess what a fucking mess when it gets to that point jesus christ what do you think he's into drugs right yeah big time aaron carter big time crack drugs like what kind of i think so he looks pretty cracked out i don't think it's like fun drugs i remember when

he came out and he looked so fucking skinny and gross and he was like no i just do a hundred chin ups a day everyone's like no no that's not how it works at all bro yeah i feel like when you were spiraling out of control like aaron carter and you threatened that we would both be like well he's making his threats again yeah well when when they were like listen we gotta get the restraining order now it's enough's enough that's usually the last straw and when here's here's a good rule of thumb i saw some of his tweets when you're saying 51 50 like apostrophe d 50 these guys got to stop 51 50ing me when you when that's in your regular vernacular exactly good for you because you're a normal person 5150 i think is like when you are placed under restraint for like you know threat to

yourself or others it's like you put you on like house arrest because you're fucking crazy it's like you know there's like the police code we got a 5150 like that means we got to go like a domestic disturbance no it's i think it's i think it's when you're like suicidal and it's like we need to put you on watch or something oh really so he's like you know nick's trying to 5150 me again like fuck this it's like if you're just that's just flying off in your tweets you know you're the problem yeah you know you're in the wrong you shouldn't know 51 well if your sister-in-law is 51 50 you all the time eventually you're probably like i'm gonna fucking kill you that's true that's true i mean you don't want me to kill myself fine it's you then what is

being someone's gonna have to die one way or the other and this the bigger lesson here the bigger point because listen nobody can relate to being aaron carter pops pop boy band pop star brother and all that shit everyone can relate to in-laws and just it never works you never you never get along like even the best in-law situations are gonna maybe uh you know maybe result in death threats it's just like when you think about it yeah i mean i threaten to kill my family members all the time the ones that don't but yeah the ones that don't result in actual death are the wins it's just threats then we're good the important thing about the threats is that you just have to be smiling all the rest of the time it's like when you're like you're being a

mean person and just like you do a smile and people kind of just think you're messing around but you're actually saying to people what you think it's like when you put lol at the end of a text or a tweet yeah it's like like you uh you have to you just have to be if i i make death threats but the rest of the time i'm always like laughing and having fun and whatever i when i make a death threat i I'm serious. I'll fucking kill you. But my personality the rest of the time is like, he must be kidding. He's just joshing.

You have to disguise it a lot. You have to disguise your murderous intentions at all times. I mean, that's a good piece of advice right there. Yeah, if you're going to threaten someone with death, you have to stop being 5150. Either fucking do it like shit or get off the pot. Either kill somebody or just don't even make the threats in the first place. Yeah.

My esteemed colleague, John, can you zoom in here? He just wrote this on a piece of paper. A little behind the scenes to show you how the sausage is made. Oftentimes, you write a little note like, don't forget about this segment or we're going to talk about that. And John, he just wrote something on this paper that's like obviously true it's like he could have just wrote water is wet or the sky is blue he wrote aliens are real on this piece of paper like no fucking kidding are we gonna do a segment on something that we know is blatantly true we just zoomed in on barcelagold.com slash kfc so sign up there and see these fantastic notes

being passed back and forth with the subtlety of a kindergartner. Um, the, no, but like that's an official, like that's out. Like the Navy again has been like, dude, those videos aren't doctored. The aliens are real. And it's really fucked up. Which videos? The ones we've all seen or their new videos? Uh, I think they, I don't think everyone's seen it, but I think they're, they're fairly

popular. Um, I don't know how you dip, dude. I'm just smelling an empty skull can here it's just like it's terrible this is my point exactly this is my issue right here what we're talking about how alien the u.s navy is like aliens are really like john smells fun john you're talking to a guy i know it's not even a trending story reaching to the choir it's not a big deal today. If I was a skeptic, I'd understand that you expect me to be excited. But I know. And I've been beating this fucking drum forever.

I'm not saying to be excited. Although you should be like, oh, it's official official. But I'm angry at the world. The world. Like, guys, this is the biggest story of all time time of all time in history in the history of of life existing you know this yeah yeah there's all kinds of life we didn't know about yeah it's here and we're like hey did you hear about jessica james that washed up porn star she's dead who gives a shit wait jessica james is dead yeah but i don't think jessica james you know who she is

i don't know well i mean i know the she is? Oh, yeah. I don't know her. Well, I mean, I know the name. I thought I knew her because the name sounds familiar, but I feel like that's just like... Well... Pornhub alliteration is like... Pornhub name-making is alliteration, end with a guy's name. Or Bella.

Bella, yeah, yeah. Or like one of those words. Something like that. It's always like, yeah, I'm Roxy Rick. I'm terrible. My name is Tammy Tim. Better. Roxy Rick would not be it.

Tammy Tim is better than Roxy Rick? Roxy Rick? Yeah. Rick? Roxy Rick sounds like a dude who does coke and sucks dick in fucking disco bathrooms. That would play. How about Tammy Tommy, T-O-M-I at the end. Tammy Tommy.

That plays because Tommy makes me think of Tommy Lahren and it makes me get horny. I want to fuck Tommy Lahren so bad. She might be my number one. Remember when Nicki Minaj was your number one? Not like you think she's the hottest in the world. Your number one want to fuck? I want to fuck Tommy Lahren so bad.

I want to have so much sex with her. Pop that pussy you think that she's good in bed uh i think it's one or the other i think she's a savage i think she's like just chilling i think i would guess i would lean towards savage yeah me too but this is my point we've been sidetracked again aliens what was your fault for bringing up porn why but that you could tell me that there's an alien like next door if you want to start talking about porn i'd be like who what what's their name what do they do it's honestly it's very

upsetting to me that the human race just doesn't care you keep talking I'm going to find exactly what their release was it was like the same thing with when Hillary said during the campaign was like look if you guys elect me I will I will empty the UFO folder

and I was like well that's it you guys elect me, I will empty the UFO folder. Right. And I was like, well, that's it. Done deal. I will never forgive our country for doing that. Like, fuck everybody in middle America who loves their guns and hates abortion and got duped by a fucking brick wall because they hate the Mexicans. Because we were this close to getting all of the alien secrets. All you had to do was elect that dumb, frigid bitch and we would all have the best secret in the world. We would be talking about...

You know how much this would change our lives? We would just be an alien podcast. This show, KFC Radio, would just be an aliens podcast and we would do nothing but talk about the actual real aliens that exist with the proof and the story and the evidence behind it. But no, you fucking dickheads got duped by a red hat and a fucking story about a wall. God damn it.

We were this close. And you know what happens, by the way? If you release aliens, you release everything. Because a week later they go, well, if they know about the aliens, we'll tell them about JFK. And if they know about JFK, we'll tell them about the pyramids. And if we tell them about the pyramids, we'll tell them about the Loch Ness Monster. We would know everything. We'd be sitting next to Bigfoot right now.

He'd be a guest. But we had to elect Donald fucking Trump. He'd be a guest on the show. He'd be a guest promoting his new beef jerky commercial. Yeah. Yeah. They finally let me out of the cage. So I'm with Jack Links now.

Straight up. That's dope, Bigfoot. That's dope. That's cool. Anyway, would you suck your mom's dick or fuck your dad's ass? Oh, man. Wouldn't that be great? So do I call you Bigfoot?

Do I call you Sasquatch? Do you like to be abominable? What's your name? Yeti? Snow Yeti? What's your mood today? Fucking Donald Trump. That's why I hate Donald Trump.

I don't give a shit about his politics. I don't give a fuck about the fact that we had the treasure trove of secrets in our hands, and all we had to do was elect that dumb fucking... She's probably fucking a pedophile, too. Who knows? She's probably doing it with Epstein, also. I don't know. Legitly.

I don't know. I said probably. That counts. But yes, so the point of all this is, hey, people stop listening to this podcast. Go talk to your friends about how aliens are real. No, no, no, no. This is the problem. They said the UFO videos are real.

Yeah? That doesn't necessarily, the day they need to say alien life is real. Because people can still explain what these fucking you can make up other explanations what they are you talking about fucking you navy pilots are like dude we chased them they move so much faster than us they move up and down they're impossible we like that say they're i know explain that with i don't know uh like russia has like new fucking plane technology pretty good well like they're they got me there uh it is it is so cool that like that these guys were you know these are like the the best of the best like fighter pilots right and they're like this is their moment like this is why they sign

up to like fight you know to protect the airways and shit and it's like we don't know what the fuck this is it's crazy would you i would i would just i would stop chasing it oh yeah well this that thing i don't want that smoke yeah this thing has if i can't move up and down and side to side and like in fashions that i did not know aircraft can fly because i have a seven i I'm flying a $70 million jet and I got no shot at this thing. Yeah.

But then I don't even want to see what the weapons are. Those things are crazy fast and they got dusted. I'm going to go back and watch Top Gun. Fuck this. I'm going to go like

give my wings to some little kid and like fuck some chicks. Like I think being a pilot is like the number one, being an astronaut I think is number one. But let's say,

you know, within the realm of on the planet Earth, I think being a pilot is like the number one being an astronaut, I think is number one, but let's say, you know, within the realm of on the planet earth, I think being a pilot is like the number one bad-ass, uh, profession being a, like a fighter pilot, fighter pilot.

Okay. I'll tell you what, I also think that being a, being a commercial pilot is not bad-ass. It's pretty fucking cool. I think you just drink and fuck, but I don't know. But I think back in the day it was cool.

I think there are so many pilots now who are like well because it's legit autopilot now so you're not like but i don't even mean that i just mean like like it was so glorious glamorous and you know they're just walk around fucking stewardesses and all that and then so it inspired people to want to become pilots and then now they're like now my job is i sit in the wrong way and get tweeted at by people in the back of my plane and be like, are we going to take off yet? I think a pilot does not have the respect it once did. I know I don't give the respect

people used to. I'm like, where the fuck is this guy? 45 minutes before takeoff. My buddy's dad was a pilot and he told me there's still a very strong rule of 12 hours bottle to throttle meaning like you can't you know and like i think if there's like a set rule for that in your job

that means like you're getting down you know if there's a rule that is like this is the designated time you have to stop drinking guys what the fuck i think that you're still probably like boozing and fucking and stuff i don't think it's enough time, by the way. Right. I always thought that that was the problem. I thought it was going to be about like you can't even really be. I thought it was eight. I was generous saying 12. There are sure their rules are not enough, but those are the rules.

There are plenty of times I stopped driving 12 hours ago and I'm still pretty fucking drunk. Yeah. Like I'm not like drunk, drunk. No, but you're like, you're not right. Flying a fucking plane. I'll tell you that your reaction time is down and all that shit i actually think that sometimes i'm i'm i'm if we're talking about driving i think i could drive drunk better than i could drive hungover i think that's something we all convinced ourselves in high school no but more than i'm a better drunk driver is stupid

i'm a better drunk driver than i am a better than i am a hungover driver when i'm hungover i'm like i'm about to puke i'm about to die i want to cry i can't like function drunk is just like a little wobbly i can get the job done man we were so stupid back then i remember my friend being like who drove home last night and i was like you you did there's fuck there was one time we had buddies in providence and uh the cops and cops in providence just don't give a fuck about shit. And they pulled – like a cop in Providence is their main job. It's like not doing paperwork tonight. They pulled over a car, drunk kids, and driver clearly shit-faced.

Cop takes him out of the car, leans into the car, goes, is there anyone else in here who can drive? Everyone's like, no, sir, I am drunk. He said, I will repeat my question. Is there anyone in here who I haven't breathalyzed who can drive? Oh, yeah, me. I'm good. See you later, boys. Have a good one.

Another successful night on the beat. I love when cops give you that second chance when you realize you're being fucking stupid. Did I ever tell the story about when I got arrested? Maybe I'll tell that tonight on the live show. I have no idea you've ever been arrested. In my car? Yeah, you did. I'll tell that tonight on the live show.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. That's even like... Not like real arrested. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay. Fucking handcuffs, bro. I mean... Yeah, we'll tell that tonight on the live show.

That's not real arrested. No, it's not, but I mean, it makes for a good tale. So we'll tell that tonight on the live show that's not real arrested no it's not but i mean it makes for a good tale so we'll tell that tonight the live show that's what you're missing out live shows are great because you can just tell all sorts of shit and hopefully it stays within those walls some motherfuckers probably filming it and like sending it out but have you not told on the podcast i don't think so because i was like we can't do this until everything's settled and well that's never happening so whatever uh speaking of settling things we're gonna settle this debate the internet is barking about the top three hbo characters ever and we're here to tell

you which ones it is uh top three hbo characters brought to you by felix gray felix gray glasses they're gonna save your eyes they're gonna make you look stylish and what's more important than that your health and your style those are the two most important things in the world yes right legitimately how you look and how you feel i'm thinking yes i think pretty much i was trying to think of something else uh how you feel physically yeah not like mentally emotionally a fucking pussy yeah i was gonna say happiness but no no no no no and and honestly bring you happiness out of all the things like out of all your health, I'm not talking about your cholesterol

and your whatever. I'm talking vanity. I got 20-20 vision. That's fucking pimp. I can be a fighter pilot because I got good vision. That's true. You know how many fighter pilots out there or could have been fighter pilots, but they're out here using Twitter all day long without their Felix Grey glasses and now they can't make it because they don't have

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So we're talking international greatness with Felix Grey. So go get yours. Adult, kids, readers, prescription, non-reader, non-prescription, everything you need, all types of glasses. Felix Gray's got you covered. Felix Gray, Gray with an A, glasses.com slash Kevin, because fuck Fidelberg, you know? Felix Gray glasses.com slash Kevin, free shipping, 30-day risk-free, returns or exchanges also free. That's Felix Gray glasses.com slash kevin top three hbo characters have been going on on twitter i don't know who started this but it's

hbo it's pretty good pretty good marketing solid marketing that's almost one of those things that's so simple that i'm like props to you for for doing it yeah like like whoever was like god we're like overthinking this let's just tweet out who are the best characters. Eight, the HBO official account. Who are your favorite three HBO characters? And it's been, like, phew. Number two trending topic all goddamn day. Now, what you got to do in order to do this is remember all the HBO shows, because I found myself forgetting, like, major shows.

Like, I forgot Antharaj exists for a second. Yeah. I forgot that True Detective was an HBO show for a second. Oh, fuck. We're going to have the same three? Well, I'm just, you know. Oh, because my three is very simple, very quick.

Larry David, Ari Gold, Russ Cole. Larry David, Ari Gold, Russ Cole. Now, I'm not going to say Larry David because I'm just not as much of a curve guy as I should be. I like it when I've seen it. I do like it when it was popping, when it was

really popular. I just wasn't watching with other people in my life weren't watching I don't know it just wasn't part of my everyday viewing and when I do watch it I know the brilliance and I love it but I can't lie and say that that was a character I was watching all the time so I'm not going to say Larry David

I am going to probably say Ari Gold because the way I think of it is I'm deciding my favorite show and then I'm deciding my favorite show. And then I'm picking my favorite characters from said show. Not like just picking characters. I'm not going to say Russ Cole for the sake of argument. Because I think Russ Cole ended up kind of being a little bitch at the end. I hated that ending.

I hated when he was like, you know what? Maybe we are all just like supposed to be happy or whatever the fuck it was. When he's looking up at the sky. Remember that? I actually don't, to be totally honest. I don't remember that. That's the beauty of you is if you don't like something, you just purge it from your brain. The end of True Detective is one of the worst endings ever, and it doesn't get any talk, any attention.

All of Russ Cole's nihilists or nihilists, whatever, viewpoints and all his pessimism and everything that made Russ Cole Russ Cole, Woody fucking wheels him out on the wheelchair and he looks up to the stars and he's like, you know, man, maybe we are just meant to love each other or some stupid shit. I think you made all this up. You think I made this up?

I think I just scripted... Alright, you tell me how True Detective ended. Yellow King was fucking his girlfriend and sister. Yellow King, that was another disappointing thing. It was disappointing. It is, you're right. So I'm not going to say that. I mean, it was...

I'm just thinking of things that kind of gripped the world. Obviously, Tony Soprano for me, just because I haven't finished The Sopranos. I forget what happened. Summer started. I was cruising through Sopranos, and I think I just fell off season four. Anyway, Tony Sopopranos up there,

I mean, he's as great as he gets, but I haven't finished it. Yeah, I totally understand that. I, again, much like Curb, I wasn't a Sopranos guy, so I can't say that. Ari Gold to me is Entourage's best character. Without a doubt. Yeah, I mean, I was trying to think of other guys,

but like he's actually i love jerry ferrara but as far as like acting goes jeremy piven's the only one who like it's certainly not vinnie chase johnny drama's funny but you know um let me say selena meyer ah fucking slut bitch forgot about her i mean that is one of the funniest shows ever. And actually, within Veep, I wouldn't even say she's – this is kind of weird. I don't think Selina Meyer is my favorite character on Veep, but I'm going to say she's the best HBO character. You know what I mean? Yeah, I get that. I think some of the bit characters are funnier, but with no Selina Meyer, there is no show without JLD.

It just doesn't happen. So I'm going to say Selina Meyer. I'm going to say Tyrion. He turned into a little pussy. Yeah, you want to talk about fucking Rush Gold not having a good last scene? Tyrion had a bad last three years. So maybe, who's someone who died before the show got bad?

Is there someone who checked out on season four, season five? Because maybe I would pick that guy. Viper? Yeah. He was quick. He was a flash in the pan. He was like a one night stand and he rocked my fucking world. We gotta just lost Game of Thrones. Just like there's only four seasons of Lost. Just like cut it off. That's who just didn't exist.

I don't know where the cut off is. It's certainly before that last season. I'm just trying to think of my third one here. I'm looking at some of the shows. Ballers, I really do enjoy, but I'm not going to put that as one of the best. You know, when it's all said and done, I can't say it now, I think Barry's going to have one of the best characters ever. You think who?

I think Barry. When that show's finished. You think Barry will be? Could be him. Is NoHo Hank still alive? Yeah, yeah. I think it could be NoHo Hank if you're talking. It's also, whenever you do these things,

comedy versus drama is kind of tough. You know what I mean? But Leftovers, I really loved. I loved Justin Theroux in that. I don't think anyone else is going to agree with me on that one. I'm sure. I know Rear Admiral is going to be beating the drum for Boardwalk Empire. I know there's some Boardwalk.

You know what? All right. All right. I'm going to go. Have you seen Deadwood? I've seen a few seasons of it. I've done like two seasons and I still doesn't do it. You know what? All right. All right. I'm going to go. Have you seen Deadwood? I've seen a few seasons of it. I've done like two seasons and I still doesn't do it. You don't like it, huh?

I've gone back and watched two seasons twice. And every time I'm like, I don't really want to start the third. I think you have to really be down with like that period. I'm actually a huge Cowboy fan. Really? Tombstone is one of my favorite all-time movies. That's surprising because I do think what's good about that at least i assume i don't fucking know it feels like a very real take on like the gold rush in the wild west like it's not all like you know shootouts at the

okay corral a lot of it was just like you know fucking hookers and gold digging you know what i mean which is cool but for some reason i i don't know and i i know it's actually hailed as one of the best written shows and stuff like that. And the dialogue is what doesn't. I'm kind of like, well, it is like too authentic almost experience. Yeah. It's like I for sure a subtitle show. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Definitely.

But I'm going to go again with a little bit of for the sake of argument. I'm going to go Tyrion for Game of Thrones because I got to have Thrones represented. I'm going to go Ari Gold for Entourage because Entourage was the first HBO show that ever gripped me. And I'm gonna go Al Swearengin from Deadwood. Okay. You hoopoe head cock sucker. Because he really, he is that show and that show is one of a kind.

But god damn, it makes you realize how much HBO's dominated. HBO crushes. Holy shitballs, man. And like, you know. There were probably, when I was going through a list of characters, there probably like 15 times i went oh him oh him even like stupid thing i didn't watch true blood but like girls love that so that was another one that

had like a 10 season run and like chernobyl no one's gonna pick that but like that was a chernobyl chernobyl is honestly god one of my best tv shows ever and that's tough because it's like based on i'm not gonna pick a character that was like real yeah but chernobyl was one of the best things ever even like i ended up being terrible but like when the night of came on that first pilot i remember being like this is amazing one of my favorite episodes of television all the time the pilot of the night oh i set the bar so high it was like that was the most white knuckle like oh shit what is happening is it was it was so fucking good i thought it was the rest I almost want someone to redo that. I think it's still critically acclaimed and more like a commentary on society.

It's a terror with the feet. We get it, dude. You got eczema. I'm sure it represents something. So does Kim Kardashian. She doesn't even talk about it as much as you talk about it. Big Little Lies is a great new one. Curb.

It's just like the list goes on and on and on. They have dominated Westworld. Speaking of TV shows, I saw Top 100 of the 2000s. Always Sunny was number 75, which is fucking bullshit. Absolutely. At what point? I keep thinking, all right, when they get to season 15, maybe the world is going to smarten up

and be like, wow, these guys deserve respect. And it just doesn't, it's not happening. And it's got Danny DeVito. I could understand if it just was the gang, but once they got Danny DeVito to sign on, which happened two decades ago, God bless you, I thought they would have begun to give it some respect. And it's just like, as they do more and more of that improvisation, that interpretive dance and stuff, they're trying new things, and they just don't get any fucking love.

I was watching the Martina Martinez and Green Man episode the other day. Oh, so you're a bunch of white boys, right? It's just so fucking funny. It's just one of the best goddamn – it is the best goddamn show ever. I genuinely, genuinely believe that I actually think we were talking about respect I don't think people are giving enough respect it's back next week

next Wednesday is it going to be one of those eight episodes I gotta brace myself if it's short I think it's always I think they're usually eight episodes I thought it was ten and then I thought this most recent one was eight and it kind of like rocked my world do you remember that bathroom episode remember how much I loved that bathroom episode by Aaron Ryan?

I mean, I still like wake up thinking about that. It was the most perfect episode of TV or every single moment when they go into the bathroom and there's just a recording of screams playing. So fucking good, man. It's the best show ever. We'll be doing them.

Hopefully we'll be doing some, some extra special, uh, sunny content as we get ready season 15 right or 14 14 I want an even 15

at least give me 15 and I'll be happy so season 14 back next week let us know what your top 3 HBO characters are at KSU radio

let's get into these voicemails let's get into these voicemails this is brought to you by Hello Fresh hello that's what the ladies

say when they see me hello fresh oh no yeah that's what they say you heard them i said i can't i just that's what they say you know as i'm wearing my moon man shirt it's a very cool this is very fresh uh be on the lookout for all sorts of moon man gear coming your way soon at the barstool sports store but hello fresh is the number one meal kit company in the world. Seasonal recipes, pre-measured ingredients, all delivered right to your door. All you got to do is cook and enjoy. You don't have to go shopping.

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HelloFresh.com slash KFC 80. What's up, KFC? Fight Super Producer BC. I just got done listening to Fights and Kevin, you guys, ranting about how shitty the state fair seems. And as someone from Indiana whose girlfriend's family is obsessed with the state fair, someone who's been to the last three Indiana state fairs, let me tell you, it's absolutely the biggest fucking shit show.

You're sweaty. There's little to no alcohol there, so you can't really put up with it. It smells like shit. There's actual animal shit all over the ground. It's not a fun time for anyone who is a civilized member of society. So, yeah, I have to go because my girlfriend's family, they're involved with it. They show animals. It's fucking so horrible. I

hate it so much. I'm getting upset talking about it. But so I was just wondering, uh, what the biggest thing that you guys ever would have had to do to like put up with a girl, like what shitty hobbies or interests were, was a girl into that you decided to put up with and just very much regretted it. Thanks, Viva. I mean, the things that you'll do for love or sex or whatever, I mean, people take it to extremes. I don't know if I could sit around and talk about, like,

fucking livestock and shit. I don't even know if I could fake that. Do you want me to walk around a field with poop everywhere? I'm out on that. Probably. But you know what's funny? I'd probably do it. You know, like, I wouldn't like it. I'm out on that. But you know what's funny? I'd probably do it. You know, like I wouldn't like it.

I don't know. The amount of shit that I like. I'm a child. I wouldn't do it. I would be like. But you're also kind of like no confrontation. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But I would just be like.

Yeah, I mean, I guess what I would end up happening is. You'd do it and she'd complain. It's got to be an upfront thing. Yeah. Tell me to start. Like, by the way, we're a livestock. I like livestock and state fairs and feces and funnel cake. I'd be like, the funnel cake sounds great, but I'm out on everything else.

I have a hot take for you. What? Or maybe it's not a hot take. Maybe it's just a personal thing. I think I'm too old for funnel cake. I haven't had one forever. So I guess right now I still like the idea of funnel cake more than anything. It's almost too much.

It's like just fried and sugar. And I had some the other day, and I was just like, Where did you have some? Fry Playland. I went to an amusement park with my kids. Yeah, I played hockey there before. Yeah. I used to do couple skating.

It was called Skating Club. We'd hop on a school bus on like 7 o'clock on like a Friday night and we'd go to the rink and then there was couple skating there. That's where I used to fuck. Just so you know. That's where you used to kiss girls.

That's where I used to... You didn't fuck there. Fuck. You didn't fuck until you were like 30. I would go to public skating on Friday nights and just be an absolute You were like 30. I would go to public skating on Friday nights. Just tear it up. And just triple axles and shit. An absolute fucking blur out there.

Just like skate stopping. Like, whoosh, whoosh, whoosh, whoosh, whoosh, whoosh. What an asshole. I mean, it was like out of like an 80s movie where like the skate guards, you know, the adults would be telling me to slow down and i just take their hats i mean whoops whoops whoops come and get me coppers whoops whoops whoops you just couldn't i was i'd get off i'd run around like they i'd level the playing field i'd get off the ice i just go running around like the arcade area you hide your skates you could not touch me

i was a fucking just just an absolute an absolute weapon of sex is what i was on that ice girls girls are dripping girls couldn't they would because it was where people we didn't have to go get on buses or anything crazy like that the rink was just in town and town it sounds like yeah go go to the general shop get some pop and then you go over to the rink downtown um it was in the city we lived in is what i mean and uh so like everyone would go like people didn't even it was like people didn't even skate like plenty of people just kind of like sat in the bleachers like watch people skate and i just you're putting on a show i could see the girls up there they were

just you are gonna be lining up i remember uh So I guess to answer that question for my girlfriends, they would put up with that. They would put up with me being a complete shit. I'm watching my boyfriend skate as fast as he can around the rink with, like, children. Speed skater over here. I put up with this. I mean, this wasn't for sex.

This is, you know, in fifth grade. But I put up with a family that spoke exclusively Portuguese. Every time I went to their house, it was just like people wouldn't even talk to me. I just talked Portuguese the whole time. I just sat there. Sounds great. I was like, yeah, it was pretty good.

I was like, God, I don't even know what you're saying, man. This is absurd. Can I go to Vanessa's room and play the hockey? What was hockey on Nintendo? NHL 94 or some shit. Ice hockey? Just ice hockey? No, Blades of Steel.

Can I go play Blades of Steel? They're not even talking to me. What are we doing? I put it with people undoubtedly insulting me to my face, and to this day, I don't know. I used to put up with some weird food. Remember my high school girlfriend was all international? So her family used to do shit,

some strange British food and Scottish food, which is notoriously bad, you know? Yeah. And I was like. You just ate a bunch of gray shit? Yeah. I don't even know what it is. The whole plate's gray, though.

I can't remember. There was like one particular dish, you know. Yeah. Some gray gruel, like bangers and mash or some shit. I was like, where are the burgers, dude? They say that the best way to know your dish is a healthy dish is color. You want to have everything on the color spectrum. The British have just decided.

It's like a dead body. We're sticking with the medieval meals that get slopped. Every British meal looks like it was slapped on the plate. Yeah, it looks like it's from prison where they just dramatically put a spoonful. Next up, boom. I remember I once got a beer with her father and he was Scottish and you know, I take that shit

seriously and we were somewhere around that like, I think it was when we were in Barbados or one of these fucking vacations or whatever. When you were 15. He was buying you beers. Well, he got me a Guinness and you know, so he pours the fucking

pours the Guinness and he he, like, puts it down, and I fucking pick it up and drink it. He's like, oh, you gotta let it, like, settle, and I'm like, bro, I'm 15, and I binge drink Mike's Hard Lemonade. Like, I don't know the rules of a proper pint, okay? I don't know you have to let it settle. I don't even know why it's room temperature. Why can't I just have a cold-ass beer beer and why can't i just drink it now like a 15 year old you

put a beer in front of them and just tell them not to touch it it's like oh yeah what am i supposed to not jerk off later too don't drink the beer and don't touch my dick like these are two things that i just cannot do at the age of 15 brings his wife over how to sit down shirtless don't touch him i bet you want to look i bet you want to touch you can't touch them um i bet you want to look. I bet you want to touch. You can't touch them. I don't think I've ever put up with too much. I mean, also, at the end of the day, like, you know, when we do a lot of these questions, it's like I feel like most of us, most people have only been in like a handful of relationships, right? I mean, I think I've been in like four. Three or four.

Yeah. High school one, college one, post college one post college one and then like i got married it's not like there was many relationships where i was like putting up with things you know yeah but i feel like you only putting up with things i think is putting up with like family things i put up a plenty of things from the girl yeah but like uh you know her family did this tradition and i had to do it. That's like married. You do that once. You decide, okay, I'll put up with this. I don't really like this person

in your family, but I'll put up with them. Right. Your high school girlfriend, you shouldn't be like doing weird traditions at all. Yeah. Even my post-college

and real-life girlfriends, I've never met their families. I met their immediate families, yes, but I don't know. We're never met their families. I met their immediate families, yes, but I don't know. We're not doing family traditions. I don't really like this cousin of yours. I don't think you should be doing holidays. Although I did have a girlfriend who had

the Indian chief grandfather. That was wild. We talked about this. He's at Christmas. He's just dressed like a Native American chief. I don't remember that one. Yeah, I've talked about it. And I think you were like, Jesus Christ, how does this never come up kind of deal?

Was he like a chief name? Yeah, I honestly don't remember his name. But it was... Does he know that you... He's kind of sat quietly in the corner. You probably could sense that you had cursed his people. Yeah, honestly, maybe he wasn't even there because we never talked about it.

Maybe it was just like a ghost sitting there. Because there's just like an Indian chief sitting in the corner. Didn't really say much. Do you think you have, like, I know we don't have like a family tradition, but do you think the girls are like, ah, I got to put up.

I know they would have to put up with the baseball. That's baseball. The fact that our mother would like scream at you if you were a Yankee fan. It's not easy to get along with. That poor girl, she came home,

hi Mrs. Clancy. Matt Silley hits a bases clearing double. She went, yo. And that was a wrap. That relationship ended. Get the fuck out.

She was like, okay, nice to meet you. And I was like, let's go. Let's go to the movies. And she was kind of like, ha ha ha ha.

And I was like, no, no, for real, we have to leave now. It's over. Also mom, dead ass serious. She wasn. And she was kind of like, ha, ha, ha, ha. And I was like, no, no, for real. Like, we have to leave now. It's over. Also, mom. Yeah. Like, dead ass serious. She didn't like, she wasn't like, get the fuck out.

But like, she saw her cheer and was like, and I think it was like a playoff game or something like that, you know, like down the stretch. It was a big game. And it was like, okay, goodbye now. I was like, well, this is doomed. And if you hear that story now, she was like lighting fireworks. You know, like it was an all-out celebration. She was rubbing it in her face.

It's like, there's no way that happened, Mom. This girl went like, woo-hoo. I think she was even like, I heard you guys are Mets fans. I'm a Yankee fan, like thinking it was okay. No. Well, that's your fault. I did not prepare you enough for that. I didn't think, yeah.

I definitely was kind of like, what the fuck was that? Idiot. idiot and the flip side of the food because we would just have like cheeseburgers or like chicken every single night and you know you bring in home high school girls and they all have eating disorders sorry mom they know they're vegetarian they're high school they have eating disorders that's a fucking fact and she's just like what am i gonna cook something different for her yes yeah sorry the uh i i don't think our family really has one either like a tradition i guess again this is one of those things where you can't really see your own reflection yeah but the uh i guess the women don't have to deal with it's more my friends the violence like you have to just deal with i mean coley talks about all the time he's like i had bruises for weeks after just going to a baseball game with the final work family

and it's just like they just hit each other like fuck yeah they do a lot of the punching and the tackling and the hard hugging and shit like that but like my guy friends have to deal with that that's not really something that women have to deal with goal Coley was like, it was amazing to me how quickly your dad and your brother and your uncles were just so quick to hit me. It's like, all right. You're in the mix. Coley's like, I take it as a compliment. Weidelberg co-signs, John co-signs him.

We're going to touch him. I was so immediately welcomed into the fold. We're just like, we're going to punch him in the chest when he says something stupid. The Red Sox score him to smack him across the face. Yeah! The way you said that, you're just like, the thing that people have to understand is the violence.

The incredible, incredible amounts of violence. There's a lot of violence that comes with fighting for your house. You guys are truly, it's funny because on one hand, you're like such a fucking Madame Feidelberg,berg foo-foo she-she guy but then you're also like like less evolved you guys like the missing link you're like part caveman part human where you're all like overgrown and you fight each other and like yell and like you're like the emotional portion of your brain isn't fully developed yet you know a lot of like suppressed emotions and it's just like when shit gets hard we break stuff your dad's over there building fires you're chopping wood someone's hunting

and then five generations of large family breeding and the toughest one of all is polly sitting around cracking the whip like you p pussies! You fucking losers! If you lose that fight, commit suicide, bitch! Just kill yourself now! You're worthless! Christ almighty. The violence. Hey, KFC, fight.

I got a good feeling about this one. So I have a little question. So, what you call it i want to know who is this more awkward for at least we you know i used to hook up with a bunch of big tall huge hockey players and whatever you know we're done having sex and i wanted to put on their t-shirt or something i'd be fucking swimming in it it'd be huge and now and by no means am i saying i'm a fat girl but you know girl got kitty and ass now i've gone to the other side of the pool and oddly enough i have been hooking up with string bean ass motherfuckers and not now when we're done having sex i'm like

oh here you go babe put on a pair of pants i'm like that shit is not gonna fit it's just not and then you put it on and either they're fucking boxers or like skin tight not like spandex on you or you're just like opt to not put any clothes on at all my question is who is it more awkward for me because i know i'm not fat but just the fact that now i feel fat because i can't fit into your clothes or the guys because they're so goddamn small that a chick can't even fit into their clothes. I mean, I mean, this girl's fat,

right? I don't want to be rude, but like this girl's fat. I mean, a girl got titty and ass. I understand. But like, unless she's hooking up with, like, Vibs types, you know. I don't know.

I think, like, Keith, I don't think a girl could put on a Keith shirt. Keith's just tall and skinny. What does he wear, like a medium? Yeah. A guy's medium is going to fit on, like, a non-fat girl. She'd have to be swimming in it maybe but like like to put on a pair of boxers and have them be like spandex on a girl i don't know all i'm saying is i know it would make me feel worse it would make you feel worse oh yeah i i have always like part of my personality defined being like i'm bigger than than you. To women in particular, but most guys

I'm bigger than as well. Here's the caveman coming out. Me big, you small. Takes a club out and whacks her over the head. No, but honestly it's all personal preference and stuff like that. I like being the bigger person. That's fun for me.

I like to physically dominate. Yeah, I like being the bigger person. So, like, I've always been with girls who are small. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I've always been with girls who, like, when they put on my T-shirt, it's below their knees. It's, like, it's big. Like, every girl I've ever, like, hooked up with is about this tall.

About that big. It's amazing. Every girl I've ever hooked up with, in particular my girlfriend now, is like a sloth where they just hang on me. I will just walk around the apartment with my girlfriend just on me. She'll hang on my arms because she's like a pet that I have sex with sometimes. Where'd you get this one? It's a rescue.

So like, you'll be walking to like the kitchen And they're just like She's just on me like that What can I get you It's like her favorite game to play Climbing you like a tree

Yeah she just gets on me and I just walk around the house It's pretty wild I think I know why your back's fucked up man Yeah I mean I'm with you on that i'm a big fan of that so like if i if i if i hooked up with a girl who then put on like my shirt and it was like ass was a little tight it would like crumble who i am like it would just my self-worth would just completely yeah it's actually a question oh my i so weird saying my girlfriend but whatever and uh like rather than just a name yeah we're not doing that so my girlfriend, but whatever. And rather than just a name,

we're not doing that. So my girlfriend was texting me the other day. She was watching a Grey's Anatomy episode or something like that. And she was like, would it bother you if you went in for a regular checkup and it turned out you had ovaries?

She's like, you've always, it's just like it was part part of like your thing at birth i guess in the show it's like it swallowed the twin the guy swallowed a twin or whatever it was a female so it was like part of her was still in him and i was like in theory i'm going to tell you no it would because it's such a simple fix like i know like i'm a guy like the twin was that was it like i get it all makes sense but like bro if you can't handle a t-shirt not fitting a girl if you got some fucking eggs in you you're gonna freak that's what i'm saying like in theory it should not be an issue but if that happened i would probably like like i would

like lose my sense of manhood oh i'll tell you what and and if i found out that you basically had a pussy no it's ovaries it's different all right pussy lips pipe down let me see your clit and i think that's it would be almost like oh man like that's yeah that shirt's supposed to be always define myself yeah that's that that ruins me so it's be more i always thought was funny and i think it's kind of dead now i don't know if it was ever a thing or if it was just a thing in movies when the girl puts on your dress shirt i've always just because we don't wear dress shirts yeah but they're not comfortable i guess if they were big it would be comfortable on you but it's like you know if a girl's like give me a shirt and you're like here's my brooks brothers

give me a t-shirt man yeah yeah yeah yeah this one just got starched yeah all right got the collar stays in and shit uh i guess i'm just thinking back to the original question here um i guess i guess i would be i'd be like yeah i'm a little bitch boy yeah i would feel like a little yeah a little like if you are a small guy you know you're like very self-aware you're prepared for that that's true yeah i guess if i really the question here is like if you shrunk and turned into a different person would it bother you yeah yeah all right it was because if you hooked up with like a six foot five amazon and you were just like oh this is weird like my shirt doesn't fit you yeah you're gigantic yeah i'm not really

threatened by that you're just very you're much bigger than me i guess i'll say like if you put on a pair of my boxer briefs and that ass doesn't fit i'm probably pretty happy with that situation that's true. Like she said, a girl got titty and ass. So I guess I take it back. You're not fat and yeah, I'd be threatened. Alright, next voicemail is brought to you by Stitch Fix. Describe your look in one word.

Hot. I'm going to go one up you. Sexy. Sexy is better than hot. Yeah. Thank you for telling me I'm sexy. You're right. No, that was me. You're right. I mischaracterized myself.

That was my look. You corrected me. That was my look. I appreciate that you bestowing such a title upon me. Bestowing. How about this? Some of the word in the copy here. Casual, sophisticated, and playful.

I want a playful box. Yeah. I feel like that's like it's gonna be like leather whips and shit i don't know playful you're looking playful over there uh however you want to dress stitch fix has the expert personal stylist that can help you look your best uh your personal style is like a fingerprint nobody's the same everyone's got their own take on it and uh stitch fix is customizable like that. They know that no one person is, no two people are the same. So they will work with you and your personal stylist will

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So right now, if you keep everything in your box, you get 25% off. So they'll send you some shirts, a pair of pants, maybe a couple of accessories, all tailored to your online profile that you create and you decide on. And if you keep everything, it's a quarter off. Go to stitchfix.com slash KFC to get an extra 25% off your first box when you keep every item. Hey guys, first time, long time. This is Tom from New Jersey. I had probably the worst day I've had at work today

in about seven years. I was thinking to myself, how do I pull myself out of the borderline panic attack that I was in at work today? And I popped back on today's episode of KFC Radio and listened to Feidelberg's back-to-back rants of looking forward to the fair, the state fair every year, and dying in the woods with a dildo down my throat

and getting killed by a bear and realized it definitely could be worse. In the middle of that rant, though, I was thinking how you guys used to talk about the Civil War quite a bit. This guy's all over the map. You never talked about the fact that A1 Steak Sauce was invented during the Civil War. What? So I wanted to get your thoughts on what the most random thing invented during the worst time in history was. The most random thing in the world.

A1 Steak Sauce during the Civil War. What else am I supposed to guess? I don't know. This voicemail. Inventing this voicemail was the most random fucking thing I've ever heard a1 steak sauce in the middle of the civil war like i don't know you should have been whoever invented that mr a1 should have been focusing on some other things well i mean someone can you look that up like why let me tell you something by the way what was the point of steak sauce i feel like it was like it was to heal wounds or something yeah and like

dripped on the steak yeah nothing invented in the Civil War was like done for anything other than... Gangrene. Yeah, like medical purposes. It makes sense because it tastes like that. Steak sauce stinks. Stinks. I can't believe... Stinks. Did you ever like it? Never. I tried to like it. I feel like this is going to be a problem.

This is barbecue food all over again. This is what? This is barbecue food. No, we're trash people. I don't think so. No, barbecue people are going to be mad about this. I don't think so, because I think most people are going to be a steak hard-on where it's like, a good cut of meat doesn't need anything on it. But what's weird is they're all the same. You go to like, Smith & Walensky has their own steak sauce, and Peter Luger's their own steak sauce,

and then it's just the same thing as A1. It's like a ketchup. It's like a spicy barbecue-y ketchup. It's like why why would anybody put that on anything let alone this delicious steak this also says it was invented in the united kingdom well before the civil war i i think that guy was just trying to make a random voicemail like just saying it was like mad libs like yeah just saying random words i think that was like a prank i don't know what the what it was but i bet their friends are like we did it we did it

steak sauce i don't think anyone with class likes steak I bet their friends are like, we did it. We did it. Steak sauce. Stinks. I don't think anyone with class likes steak sauce. And I'm not even trying to be insulting. I just think that's a fact. I think steak sauce is like one of those things that – White trash. You step up from ketchup, you use steak sauce. Right.

It's like you're still eating a shitty piece of meat, and you usually put ketchup on everything. Now you're like, well, you know, dad got a raise at the fucking factory or something. He picked up a second shift, so now we get A1. But how about just not even being American? He thought it was invented in the Civil War. What else could I possibly answer on this question? I don't know when anything was invented let alone like what wars were happening during that the most random thing invented and this is a stupid question what how about those guys who

stumble upon things though like penicillin you know like penicillin they just left out yeah save the world and like and like propitia was heart medicine it's like oh actually this is going to be like a vanity thing and i'm going to make a propitia's heart medicine so is viagra uh yeah maybe that's uh yeah maybe that's what i mean yeah but i'm pretty sure propitia is too i think it was like i think that's just like all hormonal it's just testosterone in general hair and dick and all that shit it's it's for viagra was uh supposed to um like make make the blood valve swell so blood can get in easier. And they're just like, well, it works on your cock.

That's got to be so cool. They're like, fuck a heart, bitch. We're going to get rich as shit on this. Oh, man. That must have been such a big deal. I mean, I guess we were around for that. I remember it coming out. I remember the implication of it because I was young.

But if you were 65 and your dick wasn't working and then all of a sudden that came out, you probably like threw a fucking party, man. That was probably huge. Last voicemail of the day is brought to you by CB distillery. If you've got health concerns, raise your fucking hand.

Yup. If you got sleep, I slept on my neck wrong. Oh, it's like, I feel like I'm paralyzed. We talk about it all the time, but it's real and it's upsetting. You're just like, I'm of the age where sleeping hurts. If I roll my neck, it's just like I just feel the nerve get pinched. It's like I'm so bad at life that just lay down and stop doing stuff i can't do

that right sleeping hurts you know think about it that way yeah yeah i can't play sports anymore again like lift anymore i can't lay down anymore it gives you a new appreciation for like athletes because yeah they're talking about we were talking about this on uh sunday on the live stream pat's game it's like they have have Julian Edelman, the veteran. He's talking to the young guys. Julian Edelman's 32 years old. 32, and he's like the washed up dinosaur. But like, Julian Edelman's 32 years old, taking hits.

Taking hits. Like, Brady's 42, doesn't take hits. Brady never gets like sacks. Edelman's going across the middle and getting fucking popped to the blind side. Yeah. I'd be, I would just die. Yeah, I would crumble. I would burst and I would like Thanos. Like, it i'd be i would just die yeah i would just crumble i would i would burst and i would like thanos like it would just be like just pieces of dust i would it would evaporate and vaporize uh philip dorisette ducked a hit uh in that game

where i was like if that was me and i did not duck which i wouldn't have i it would have literally killed me yeah i would die either like you Either brain hemorrhage or broken neck or something like spine. You're dead if you get hit like that. We don't do any of that and I still need CBD in my life. I just need to be able to sleep at night, get out of bed in the morning. When I'm stressed, I need to be able to I had a full-blown anxiety attack last night

laying in bed. I woke up and I was just like in absolute panic. Have you ever had the anxiety attacks where you wake up and you think it's sucks. People are going to be like no, you psychopath. Have you ever had the anxiety attacks where you wake up and you think it's, ah, this sucks. People are going to be like, no, you psychopath. Where you think there's like an earthquake happening and you can feel your heart beating through your bed

and it's shaking. I mean, I definitely woke up with my heart flying and I didn't think it was an earthquake. I've been like, what is shaking so much? It's like you. Oh, it's my heart touching the bed. My existence. Yeah.

Yeah, it's bad, man. But yeah, the only way I got back to sleep last night. I did it once. I just took myself to the hospital. Uber to the hospital. I'm paying $ five thousand dollars for an ambulance no i call the call the buyer said jesus take the wheel give me the fucking what was this uh this was not that long ago i think i told you yeah and then when i when i they gave me like the uh iv and all that stuff but when they took it out they didn't do it right so i was walking at home and i was just

bleeding blood it was like i was like why is my shirt soaking wet and i rolled my arm up and like one of the main veins was just dumping blood out of me and i was like back to the hospital we go now i got a real problem the last one was faking in my head now i'm bleeding out well anyway the only way i got back to sleep last night was from a little cbd i took those uh the capsules that i keep on my bedside table and thank god that's the only way I got back to sleep last night was from a little CBD. I took the capsules that I keep on my bedside table, and thank God, that's the only way I got some sleep last night. So sleevelessness, anxiety, pain, chronic pain, all that is fixed by CBD oil that comes in all sorts of different ways to consume it. CBDistillery.com, promo code KFC, 20% off. That's CBDistillery.com. At checkout, enter KFC, get 20% off. That's cbdistillery.com.

At checkout, enter KFC, get 20% off. Here's your last voicemail. What's going on, KFC? It's my producer, BC. First time calling here. So I've been dating this girl for about a year now. She's like a really cool girl and all that. Like, I love hanging out with her.

She's really nice. I just am wildly unattracted to her and i physically cannot stand the thought of having sex with her anymore it's just it's it's really bad but like i feel like if we break up i like you can't be friends she just has like a phenomenal personality and shit like i still love her and all it's just i just can't get over this one fact uh let me know what I should do, please. Thanks. What was the fact, man? You can't fuck her.

Why? He is wildly unattracted to her. He can't stand the thought of having sex with her. What are we doing here? Well, he's like, I love her. She's got a great personality. She's an amazing girl. It's like, that's called a friend.

You have a friend, man man i know it's weird i'm actually a pretty firm believer that you can't have those but um no you can't it's because you're not attracted to them yeah you can't have friends you want to fuck right you can have friends of the opposite sex you just can't want to fuck you know now the problem you can also want to you can also fuck them you just can't fuck them now this girl considering she's in a relationship with you she wants to fuck you so this Well, you can also fuck them, you just can't fuck them. Now, this girl, considering she's in a relationship with you, she wants to fuck you. So this is over. You can't have...

You can't be friends if there's... Why don't you start dating someone you're incredibly unattracted to? That seems to be a valid question. Now, if it's been a long time, you can kind of fall out of attractive. Right. That most people do.

It's just naturally. God willing. If you're lucky. if you're lucky you're lucky if you're lucky they stop wanting to fuck each other you say that until it happens uh i could see that but you know it's it sounds like maybe shallow or superficial but like all relationships stem from i think you're hot hot. I want to fuck you. Yes. And that's, it's not,

it's not, it's, it's just your face is, is the, the, the poster for the movie and, or the trailer for the movie even. And,

and if it's not interesting, if it doesn't appeal to me, I don't want to know what the whole movie is about. And also like, so it's, it's, it's, you don't judge a book by its cover, but you do. judge that ass you don't you don't open up to a random

page of the book and say oh i bet this is interesting if i keep reading right you look at the cover no doubt you look at the fucking movie you look at the trailer look at the poster whatever it is that's what everything like if i'm not attracted to looking at you i don't want to hear your story yeah that's just a fact that's the way the world works now what if like um what if someone recommends a movie to you what if you look at the trailer and you're like this looks terrible i don't want this and someone like sees it or knows it and they're like this is great i think you'd really like it and would you then like go see it would you then could you could you be talking to it yes well this is where the analogy starts to fall apart because uh yes i'd go see that movie no i would not go fuck that person

well maybe i would because it wouldn't be like you can't be like well she's really interesting you gotta be like well just a demon and i'd say hmm i'd weigh options. Consider. I'd probably do it. But... Wildly unattracted, though, is a different way to put it. So that... This either is, like, you are crazy

and you got in... You asked to be, like, exclusive with a girl who, like, you just never liked at all. Or this is, like, you know, five, ten years down the road

and, like, you've just lost the spark. If there's any like in between there, I can't even understand how you'd end up in that situation. Bottom line is it's, you know, relationships are like long-term ones are, yes, all about like the connection and the friendship and the getting along and all that. But like every one of those is born from like i want to fuck that person and if you don't have that you can't get to the other part the whole don't judge a book by its cover thing is so goddamn they make the cover for a fucking reason yeah i've seen that awkward moment the cover is most important thing they have people designing them and everything make

sure your cover is great but it's like not even about a person either. It's just about everything in the world. If it doesn't look good, people don't want to do it. It's just the way the world works. It's the number one eyesight. I look at something, I test. It better be aesthetically pleasing. I don't want to wear it. It could be a baseball player. Am I giving you the eye test?

It could be a girl I want to fuck. It could be a book I want to read. It could be a meal I want to eat. A movie I want to watch. A movie I want to watch. A song I want to, well, that would be hearing. But you get it. Yeah. You get it. I get it.

This guy. What do I do? Dump this girl. You're not attracted to her. Yeah, I'd probably say. And then, by the way, that's it. Don't go try to be a friend with her either. That's fucking annoying.

She wants to fuck you. She likes you. You don't want to fuck her. You don't get to be like, okay, but we'll just be friends. No. That's going to torture that poor girl. Mm-hmm. What's up, fellas? It's Marcus from Virginia. Big fan.

Wanted to ask this question just because KFC, you seem to be one of the more uh what I'm looking for. Oh, boy. Like, innovative people at Barstool, you come up with, like, some of the best taglines for some of the best. Weren't expecting that one, huh? Just random off-the-cuff shit. So if you had one tagline that you could have been the person to have created it

other than fight saying Saturday Night Live for the boys. Fuck. If you could have come up with one thing like McDonald's, I'm loving it, or Nike just do it, what would have been

the one tagline or one marketing thing you would have come up with? All right, thanks, fellas. Tell you what, I got this one. I always love this one. It's wildly impressive.

I don't think people respect it. I don't think people get it enough. Trust Sleepy's for the rest of your life. Do you get it? Yeah, I get it. It's the rest of your life, but also the duration of your life, the sleep of your life. I don't think people get that. I think if you don't get that, I don't want you to listen to your life. I don't think people get that.

I think if you don't get that, I don't want you to listen to my show. I don't think people get it. I guarantee you most people don't get that. Really? Guarantee it. I was talking about Millmore yesterday on the radio. I was talking about when he was making cartoons, and I said to call him Barstool Shorts, like Barstool Sports,

but Barstool Shorts. And Casey and Jaya were like, I never even thought of that. I was like, you didn't think that shorts and sports sounded the same? You didn't realize those were fucking words that sounded the same? Goddamn morons. There's no way people are getting the double entendres

for the rest of your life. Doggy style. Mmm, that's a good one. Which I'm going to credit to Snoop Dogg. And I don't... He popularized it, let's say. Who invented it? I bet you Shakespeare said it. The lady, she fornicates like the canine.

You know, some shit like that. And it was like doggy style. I think what's more interesting is the bad ones that get greenlit. We are farmers. Shout out to J.K. Simmons. That's the one that

we all know it for a reason. To come up with that and just be like, we're just going to say bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum. I think that's a bold thing to pitch. They did research on subliminal noises or some shit like that. There's got to be something deeper than that. But when you come up with a double entendre or something, I feel like that takes time.

It's just more bold to just say, I'm just going to make a noise now. I mean, that's like Bill Bellamy with Booty Call. I feel like I would love to have been the jingles guy. Imagine if you were just like, I did a hyper, right? Yeah, I did.

I did, uh, cars for kids. I did, uh, you know, Salino and Barnes. I did,

uh, how about armor tech? Do you know that one? No, I can't even think of it now that the, the, the, the backyard pavers,

the like little paving stones, not even gonna think of it now. I guess it's not that good if I can't remember it. But there's some great fucking jingles on that one. Doggy style would be awesome, though. Oh, you know what? Imagine if you invented blowjob. It doesn't make much sense.

It should have been called a suck job. Suck job, for sure. Or a mouth job. Because you don't really suck it, either. I mean, you kind of do. I don't know. Do you, girls? I don't know if you suck it. It's more like you bob your mouth up and down on it

that's true you go like this like not really maybe i don't know no i don't think i ever sucked yeah right like like i certainly haven't i haven't had my dick blown like a like a vacuum like you have like lips pursed around it yeah that would make a lot of sense it's more like it's just a mouth job yeah so why don sense. It's more like just a mouth job. So why don't we, that's what I just coined. From now on, 2019 on, we called it a mouth job. Ancient Rome, coitus more forum. Doggy style?

Yeah. Huh. Really? That makes sense because the Romans, they were sexual intercourse in the manner of wild beasts. So not strictly doggy. But they were butt fucking all the time because it was dudes. The Greeks were the big butt fuckers. Well, Romans and Greeks like the same thing.

They don't think they're polar opposites. No, they're enemies. They're enemies, yeah. Around the same time, you know? Yeah. Fuck, I don't know. This is a really hard one. Yeah, Saturdays with the Boys has been a good one.

We'll have to, we'll have to, has been a good one. We'll have to let's go. We'll give it some thought. Everyone can tweet at us at KC Radio. What slogan, what phrase, what one-liner? Have a nice day. Have a nice day? How about happy birthday?

Like the person who was just like like we're going to celebrate the anniversary of your birth just calling your birthdays in general not the phrase yeah like birthday your born day what what year do you think when did birthdays start people always do people didn't always do birthdays because you didn't always have calendars you didn't always know like it was your day shakespeare did that too shakespeare did it all, bro. This says the origin of the term blowjob was from 1961. Yeah, I believe that. That feels modern to me. And it says exactly which blow is meant, is up for debate.

The word may have begun as a euphemism for suck, or it may refer to... Like, how stupid is that? Like, we may have meant the total opposite. Or it may refer to the explosive climax or orgasm. Oh, like I blow in your mouth. That might make more sense. But no, because that would be like, I could give a blowjob to your pussy too.

If it's just my dick exploding, I blowjob in your ass. If it's not about the mouth, it's about the dick, then everything's a blowjob. That's true. Blowjob in your hand, blowjob on your tits.

Blowjob in your mother's ass.