KFC Radio - And Another Thing, What’s So Bad About Communism? Ft. Kelly Keegs

Episode Date: July 27, 2023

Timecodes: 0:00 Start 00:56 We recap the in-office drama around Barbie 22:46 Kelly Keegs gives rebuts KFC and Feits' Barbie Take 52:32 Feits is -$7000 in debt 01:07:37 Kristen Bell and Dax Shepard allow their children to drink non-alcoholic beer 01:16:35 Hot Girl Arrested 15 times 01:28:07 Video Voicemails 01:56:12 What's so bad about Communism? 02:07:53 We confirmed that we have aliensYou can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/kfcr

Hey KFC Radio listeners, you can find every episode of KFC Radio on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. Somebody help me! This is a genuine plea for help! Somebody fix me! One little programming note for KFC Radio today. This episode is a lot like one of the greatest movies I've ever seen, Oppenheimer, in that it bounces kind of from timeline to timeline.

The episode's a little bit disjointed because after Caroline yelled at us about Barbie, then Kelly came in to yell at us about Barbie. But that was on Tuesday when we usually record on Wednesday. So then Jackie came in to yell at us about Barbie on Wednesday. So we're going to kind of piece all of that together so that you hear Jackie and then Kelly's thoughts. And then we'll get into all of our voicemails and alien talk and all the other stuff on KFC Radio. But it's the finale of the Barbie drama today on KFC Radio. All right, volume three, the Barbie finale.

Now, everybody on the show, actually, did you guys see it? I have not seen it yet. Okay. Jackie finally saw it. We've seen it. We've argued about the same thing for 45 minutes. For like 60 minutes, let's make it a full 80. Do you remember, there's a tweet that used to be so, I feel like it's from caucasian james maybe but like maybe he just retweeted it

once whatever and it's this guy who finds a genie and the genie comes out of the bottle and says i can grant you one wish what would you like and he says a slice apple pie and the genie's like okay and he eats his apple pie he goes you get a second wish what would you like he says slice apple pie and he's like okay enjoy some pies i grant you one more wish what would you like and he goes what do you fucking think pal and that's how i feel like talking about barbie what are you talking about today what do you fucking think barbie the finale uh After... I... So here's... I've slept on things.

I've thought about things. Can you acknowledge the roller skates real quick? They're not roller skates. They are moonwalkers. Get it straight. They're from the future. Fuck you. The...

This has clearly become about something that's not the movie yes uh the my stance on the movie remains unchanged it's fine the it was and when you say it's fine when you went in with a hundred million dollar budget uh marketing and you i went in thinking it's the movie of the year and i say it's fine it sounds more negative than anything which is how i took how it was i was really high expectations i declared it it's fine that's a negative review and in reading the reviews and even talking to people where like i was talking to kelly last night and she's like you're just like like the the beach thing like it's just goofy and i was like fair yes it's just goofy and that's fine right and and i was i saw like some unnamed people at barstool sports who talk about

movies i saw their reviews and it's uh one is it's definitely messy it gets lost in the saw and the subtlety sauce at points but goddamn is it a fun theater experience i didn't have a fun theater experience i thought my theater it was a pretty largely like it was okay uh unironically one of the bigger dudes rock movies in forever i get some of the complaints but personally i loved it um very annoying discourse aside this is a good fun movie that i liked quite a bit not perfect but knew what it was all three of those things are just saying it was fine. Brother, brother, that is three people afraid to tell the truth. They all say it's fine. That is three dudes.

No, I really mean this. I can't speak for them. I'm not saying that I know this, but my gut would tell you that is three guys afraid to say that they don't like the movie because what is happening to everybody who says they don't like the movie. This feels exactly like Game of Thrones, the final season where and for different reasons but when me and clem were like this shit sucks and ellie schnitt and a bunch of like diehard um thrones fans were playing the like you don't get it it's above your head and i remember being like i don't know dude like i just when i watch something my gut either says like this is good and I like it or this is bad and

I don't and I'm telling you the truth I'm not trying to be contrarian it's not that I didn't get it it's just that I see these are the problems that I think and everyone screamed and yelled and told me I was an idiot but I was kind of like I don't know like I really don't think so and I just stuck to my guns and then as time went on everybody

just kind of slowly admitted now that was different because more shit episodes kept coming out and this is just it but I think when people settle down and stop like fighting the war I think a lot more people are going to go like yeah that movie it was fine and

I don't want to talk about the movie itself anymore because that I don't want to talk about any of this ever again it is it was it was I think some of those guys had like an 83, an 84. I know DJ Bean, who I usually agree with movies on, he had a C-. If you put a gun to my head and you asked me what the movie was, I probably would have given it a C like the movie kind of be, the movie to me was like Blake Bortles,

which is a nice career, fine career, but he was the number one overall pick, not a number one overall pick, but he's the top draft pick. Right, right. And at that, when you have that kind of build up,

that's kind of disappointing. Right. I would say it's like Ryan Leaf, like a steaming pile of shit disaster of a career. But clearly it's become about more than that if you're listening Kelly's about to tell us how everyone at the office hates us now everyone's talking shit about you behind

your backs both of you and in talking with her a little more I've learned that some people are considering leaving the company yo okay now okay so here's the thing that was bullshit the way she did that

because you can't first of all come on to our show when we didn't want anybody to come on our show ever nobody was invited we just wanted to do our thing but we are like we said this is cool like i want this i i do want that and i tweeted going forward like i would like i would have felt weird going and grabbing a woman being like come speak for a woman about the movie but i'm glad but i don't care if it's like you're passionate because we're fighting you're passionate because you love it agree disagree funny like a fun thing a serious thing it makes for great content and great radio to like burst in and and like let's do this feels like barstool radio we are built on that to then come in and lead off with like everyone's talking shit about

you and you can see that it was like i can't wait to tell you this like i'm gonna everyone's talking shit about you everyone thinks you suck and blah blah blah it's like well now you can't unsay that and now that makes me be like, well, fuck you guys, because we were talking about a movie. And now if you are like judging me and specifically doing it behind my back, then now it's like, well, fuck. Okay. Then fuck off. Like, I don't, I don't want to do this anymore. Like you probably shouldn't come on our show. You probably shouldn't do this kind of stuff. If of stuff if it's going to affect you that much. And if you want to leave the company, then I would probably say this.

I mean, I would say this company isn't really if this if it wasn't this, it would be something else where eventually it would not work out for you. I look, I don't want that was kind of like a clarifying well now it's getting again a little ridiculous if a mid to low level barstool employees movie opinion you're like I can't be here anymore I'm like the Barbie version of a barstool employee

I'm like a C9 employee if my opinion is like I'm like a C-9 employee. If my opinion is like, I can't be here anymore, that's crazy to me, but I don't like hearing it. And I also should note, when Ben Mint said the N-word, I didn't hear any of that. I didn't hear anyone be like, I can't work here. I said a movie was okay. It was all right. But clearly, it's about the tone I used when I talked about it and all that stuff. And I don't like people not like – my movie stance remains unchanged. A word Kelly used a lot and used later was delicate.

I was not delicate about the movie. I went to Barbenheimer. I went to the summer event, and I reviewed it like it was the summer event. I just said I went to Barbenheimer. I went to the summer event and I reviewed it like it was the summer event. I just said I didn't consider anything else. That's probably a problem. I didn't consider anything else until Caroline sat on that couch and she was like,

female director, female lead in a comedy, female... I didn't even realize any of that. I just watched the movie and said... I obviously knew Greta Gerwig directed it. I knew Margaret Robbie's a star. I didn't think realize any of that. I just watched the movie and said, I obviously knew Greta Gerwig directed it. I knew Margot Robbie's a star. I didn't think about any of that. I just watched the movie.

That was the summer blockbuster and went, eh, disappointing. That's it. I do. I don't like... This is like everything with Barstool. When people do get offended or upset, and we always kind of go back to intent where it was like i i'm not trying to like stir the pot for that sake i'm not trying to

be offensive to be like edgy we tell our jokes give our takes have our opinions and sometimes that is the result of it but i don't go in i was not like i mean i did tell her like saying a zero out of ten is obviously like i'm being a little bombastic for the video but i was not like i like this movie but i'm gonna say i don't piss people off and that's kind of how it's being characterized in a way like so if that you know like i did not go into my video being like i should be delicate about this, and I don't necessarily think we should. If I were to find out that, like, every girl who works here is going to be upset and leaving the company and shit like that, yeah, I probably just, like, I guess I would have been like, all right, I won't make that movie, make that video, but, like,

the fact that that is the reaction, and in hindsight, we, in hindsight we're supposed to know that or predict that or whatever and not be like, oh, I'm just going to say my opinion about the movie that's out. I guess I'm part of the problem and I'm old and out of touch and you're going to be disappointed and disgusted in me. I just thought it was fair game to say whether you like the movie or not. And it just sucks that there's three people at the company who said that they don't like the movie and all three are getting the same treatment. I think that's kind of showing that anybody who says anything negative about it just gets this treatment.

That's kind of bullshit. Again, I probably should have been more delicate like those reviews were. It wasn't a movie I considered being delicate about. I wasn't indelicate. I thought I was pretty fucking delicate. I wasn't indelicate. I wasn't delicate. I just saw the movie, and I get it.

I guess I should have been more delicate. I will be more delicate going forward. I also just think. I don't want to walk around the office and be like, everyone hates me because I didn't love a movie. That sucks. Right, but I also don't want to have to apologize and make it a big thing either.

It should just be like, I don't know. There's so many things we disagree on and we just keep it moving. I apologize. When I've seen people in these fights where I'm like, just apologize. Who cares? I am sorry. If you were offended that I didn't love a movie, I am sorry. I did not want this to be the result.

And going back, I would have just shut my mouth and silenced myself. I don't think that's what we're about or what even that movie is about. But I would have just said, I'm not going to say anything because people are going to get upset. I truly never, ever imagined this in 100 million years. It's actually a pretty interesting time to be mentions clean because I have no idea what the internet thinks about it. I know it upset the women here. I don't like that. So I apologize.

I don't know. I don't know. I don't. The only thing I saw was the overly negative response, and that was the video I made was titled, If You're Triggered by This Movie, You're Not a Real Adult. So that was the only thing I saw was, like, the Ben Shapiro's of the world and, like, the threatened, fragile males, and I made a video saying like that, that's bad. But the, when Keys comes in,

she came in with some quotes, and there was one I wanted to just. This is going to be so disrespectful. Whatever comes out of his mouth here. It was a variety quote where it says, Greta Gerwig says, everybody was crying on set when America Farrar delivered her epic woman speech.

The men were crying too because they had their own speech they feel they can't ever give. And they had their own twin tightrope, which is also painful. They wanted to say it was just okay. Tears streaming down their eyes. One day, i want to live in a world where i can just say the girl movie is okay i have a dream anyway jack you want to step in a pile of shit enjoy the dumpster fire what do you think i love the movie fantastic i'm very 10 out of 10

i i also went in i thought it was great writing too no i thought it was like the most fun like heartwarming watch i've seen in like a very long time and i i thought it was so cute i thought it was so fun and i went into it with expectation hearing like it was going to be cheesy it was going to be like hit you over the head so I was expecting that and that was exactly the tone of the movie and that's what I was expecting. I could see how your guys' opinion if you're not a girl watching

it, I feel like it's like when you're in the movie theaters and you feel emotions from a movie, it's like you're on Molly and you're feeling it and whatever. But if you guys aren't feeling those emotions in the first place, then like, I could see how you would just be like, okay,

I've heard this before. Like, it's just words to you. It's like, I even like that. Then this is what I mean by tone. Like I didn't, I didn't mean like,

Oh, I've heard this before. I meant like, I went to the summer blockbuster comedy and it told goofy jokes that I under, like I've heard before. Not like I've heard women say this, but just like, I've heard that.

Like we said, we wanted to walk out being like, Oh wow. I never thought of that. I never heard before. Not like I've heard women say this, but just like I've heard that joke stolen. Like we said, we wanted to walk out being like, oh, wow, I never thought of that. I never heard of that. I never considered that. I never thought of it in the moment. And I actually talked to Keys. I told Keys later where I was like, and I said it here too, where the Shane has a joke that I just fucking love. It's like one of my favorite jokes of all time is when he talks. He says, people talk about you're either racist or you're not.

But that's not how it works. He's like, you know, it's like being hungry. Like, sure, you're not right now. But if a cheeseburger cuts you off on the highway. And I was like, that's a funny way to say it. Maybe I'm a little racist. And I like I was just expecting something like that and i didn't i didn't have one of those so like it wasn't like i wasn't like oh we've heard this i just been like oh like that's a good like a way i didn't see it or i didn't i haven't heard

it put that way before is what i meant yeah no i i um tune out for a little bit but I'm sorry sorry but the cheeseburger thing she fell asleep she fell asleep in the movie she fell asleep in the movie she's like I've heard

this guy talk before no no no he's not saying anything different I was thinking I was thinking about what I say because I feel like

I don't want to be Switzerland but like I'm going to be Switzerland like I get why you guys wouldn't like it because like want to be Switzerland but like I'm going to be Switzerland like I get why you guys wouldn't like it because like how could you know the female experience how could you be able to relate to it you wouldn't but I love the movie but you guys are my bosses I'm not going to like

bitch you out but also like also like I don't do that I know if you're a bitch also like I didn't feel any kind of like anger towards you guys at all. Because that would be fucking insane. Yeah, I know. Because I'm not a crazy person.

The, like, I also, I hope it didn't come across at any point where I was like, I was never trying to argue that the movie, that you shouldn't have enjoyed the movie. If someone goes to a movie and enjoys it, that's fantastic. Good for you. I was never trying to be like, I, and this is probably just part of you know people kicking in the door to your studio and sitting down where like i felt under attack so maybe i in fog of war didn't have the right tone or whatever maybe i even said some things i don't actually mean but like i don't in my memory i was never like this you should have hated this movie i just feel like i'm switzerland on everything well you're like switzerland if switzerland started world war ii and then

backed out of it oh yeah because that's because that's what's happened it would be like if switzerland fucking fired the shot heard around the world and then said i was i was trying to be switzerland the whole way that's what a fucking c means but i just did it wrong and i apologize um anyways i'm pretty scared to talk about this topic but um i thought it was a great movie and i think you guys are great guys, and I don't think that you guys hate women, and I'm going to stop talking about this. What? Some. To cut you off on the highway. I have individualized women I hate.

I'm very glad you enjoyed it. I'm good. I did really enjoy it. I think it's so fun. I think that all guys should watch it, because now you have to. Now you've just done it. In retrospect, it's the best movie I've ever seen, because I've been talking about it's so fun. I think the all guys should watch it because now you have to. Now you've just got to fucking pass it.

In retrospect, it's the best movie I've ever seen because I've been talking about it for a while. Yeah, yeah. But I do – And to support women, you should. What's that? And to support women, you should go to the park. And to support women, yes. Things I didn't realize, but yes, female cast and blah, blah, blah.

But I honestly think one of my only talents is I'm pretty good at reading rooms. I'm pretty good at knowing what the temperature is on things, except when Ben says the N-word and I come on and I'm like, that was fucking wild. And with Barbie, my experience, one of the reviews was it was a fun theater experience. My theater experience was people enjoyed it. It was pretty funny and no one one it wasn't a hysteria it was like it was like yeah it was pretty good and that's a disappointment when you thought it was going to be a huge thing yeah and

then like even walking out you know you hear the murmurs of like anything man and everyone was like that was okay like that and so i just walked out and i tweeted was that for kids and i stand by that because it felt like it was a little childish, perhaps intentionally. And I think everyone I've talked to, we seem to actually agree. So that just means I just did a bad job explaining my opinion. Where I'm like, yeah, it was fine. It was a little silly.

It was goofy. It's fine. It's a C. I also think that you should go into it thinking, like, this is kind of how I went into it thinking because, like, it's so over your head like over the head over like whatever like with the message i think that hitting you over the head hitting you over the head i did not phrase that well but what i but like in a good way because i

think if you go into it thinking it's for kids i love thinking that little girls are going to watch it and they're going to be told like the american ferrero scene was definitely exactly what i thought based on the way it was described but it's like if you're a young girl and you're listening to that and you're watching it and then you're thinking i just liked that it's prepping them being like this is what's going to go on in the world like this is what you're going to feel this is what you know it's not normal to feel this push and pull contradictory whatever i'm not phrasing this well. No, I get what you're saying. But, like, I think if you go into – like, I was happy that it was very obvious because I like the idea that, like, young girls are going to –

Like, everyone will get it. It won't go over anybody's head. And then it's, like, one of those things where you're kind of reminded, like, yeah, we're going to keep saying this until something changes. And so I – yeah. You know what I mean. I phrase that like... No, you always say that. You make sense. You always say like I didn't, I'm not saying about...

I think that is kind of my point, is that if you went in expecting something else, and it's on me for expecting something else, because the movie is the movie, and you can't be like, I wanted it to be something different than it was. Like the people who don't want the political part of

Oppenheimer it's like that was a big part of the story but I think that inherently then we're kind of agreeing on the same page that it was like over hit over your head and kind of like boom here you go and expectations very much matter I had really high

expectations and a little a fun little thing I'm going to a museum this weekend And expectations very much matter. I had really high expectations. And a fun little thing. I'm going to a museum this weekend. And I got a VIP early entrance museum pass. And I was like, it's just going to be fucking me in there. It's going to be so sick. And when I booked it, I accidentally scrolled and saw a review. And the review said way more people than i thought it was going to be for a vip early entrance like hundreds i'm very glad i read that review because i would i would have

been like what the fuck this sucks now i'm like okay it'll be a smaller group than usual but but still it's still a lot not just me in this museum right right and i have i just had i thought i was gonna be the only person museum expectations and now i'm like okay it was it was fine right right and i i just had i thought i was gonna be the only person museum expectations and now i'm like okay it was it was fine right right yeah i i the only thing i would say i i thought that the one joke i i haven't brought up yet and i kept meaning to every time i forgot was when barbie when she says people keep calling me a fascist but i don't even have control of the railroads that is getting praised for being like highbrow humor because it is and it's like there's if you know about fascism it was like they use the railroads and they use that as propaganda to like prop up fascism and there

was they're like tied together and that was when barbie was coming out and shit i think and that felt like a joke that is that was even like over my head i don don't know all that shit about it and I like read up on it and I was like that was clever. I feel like there was probably a lot more of that stuff that maybe got cut or changed or whatever to then make it apply to everybody because it was I don't think unless it really was over my

head and there's a million jokes that I didn't get but I feel like that is what it did in order to achieve like mass understanding and mass appeal. But again, I just thought it was not going to be that. So before anything else, let's get to Kelly's interview about Barbie from Tuesday on KC Radio. All right, Kelly Keegs, the floor is yours. Hello. First of all, how are you guys?

Just tremendous. How are you feeling today? Have you been paying attention to the reception of your thoughts on Barbie? No. first of all how are you guys just tremendous how are you feeling today this is uh this is have you have you been paying attention to the reception of your thoughts on barbie no okay well i'm happy to i'm happy to bring that to you thrilled more than thrilled what do we got so i listened to your episode i listened to everything you said i think that caroline hit the nail on the head a lot of things i felt you were a little dismissive and when i say a on the head a lot of things. I felt you were a little dismissive. And when I say a little, I mean a lot.

Of what? Of the entire concept of the movie. I think it sounds a little dismissive. And I'm also coming in. Yeah, I'm yelling at you right now. I'm bitching you out. This is an official bitch out. Put it on the board.

Everyone's talking shit about you behind your backs, both of you. I'm here to tell you that as well. Everyone thinks you guys sound old as fuck and very out of touch and i agree and i hate this you know i hate this i don't want to be the one to tell you that because i love you guys but i can't let you i can't let you make fools of yourself anymore what is what is the what is the oldest i was just saying like i didn't think it was that funny it's not that you okay it's not that you don't like the movie it's not that you didn't think it was funny it's the it's how dismissive you are about the movie as a whole and i think at this point it's now been you know what day is it it's tuesday it hasn't even been a week yet this movie's been out and it's turned into something bigger than like it's just a movie

you know what i mean and i think that acknowledging that is nice but i think that just saying it sucks blatantly is stupid and i think like i feel like you made the movie yourself no i'm not but this is i can't think the movie's not funny you can think the movie's not funny but it's not that well written but the way that you're saying it the way that you're talking about it the way that you are like it's just not funny it's just not funny it sounds like you're saying it's not funny because it's like you know you didn't like the way it was written because it wasn't written for you your guy's head like you we keep bringing up even that right now like that's that's in our head like that's in whatever that to me doesn't sound like you're telling me why i don't like this movie

you're making it sound like I watch this and it's almost like I think it's funny but I'm going to say it's not because it's written by a woman or something like that. No one's saying that about you. No one is thinking

here's the problem is I was hoping that maybe you guys are being a little contrarian on purpose. Like okay we're just we're here it sucks we're dramatic

I'm dramatic I say things dramatically all the time. To say the movie sucks sounds asinine to me. It doesn't suck because I don't think either of us are saying it sucks. I don't think it sucks. You said said it sucks multiple times i would never like watch it again and i

would not recommend it to someone that's my right i think my stance on it was i wouldn't say like i went to it opening not opening night but like first week i did i did it all like when caroline came in and was like it was like it's about representation i was like oh that's a different thing every single issue that was brought up we were like agree agree agree i think it's about representation. I was like, oh, that's a different thing. Every single issue that was brought up, we were like, agree, agree, agree. I think it's a lot about representation. I think it's a lot about feeling heard. I think it's a lot about just having something that, honestly, I think the whole movie

feels like an inside joke for women. And if guys don't think it's funny or guys don't think whatever, I'm like, oh, well, that's the fucking point. You don't get it. This is what we deal with all the time what the smart thing that you thought because you're right you're spot fucking i listened to the whole thing you're spot on with that i that is exactly what it is it was then that has to admit that you have to admit

that a lot of it was like hit you over the head yes yes that is the whole and that's what i didn't like and that's just so you just don't like to's just, I don't like things like very obvious. No, yeah, I thought the way this, and this is also a lot about the hype. Don't you feel the opposite? Here, I guess the argument also goes the other way, is that every movie that, and Caroline said this, every movie that's like a comedic movie for men, whatever, blah, blah, blah, all those jokes, the jokes about the women in those movies,

you know, I'll laugh, I'll chuckle, I'll roll my eyes, but I'll laugh. Did you not, like, roll your eyes and laugh at anything in this movie? I chuckled a couple times. I said, like, there was not, like, uproarious laughter. Like, when she compared it to the... When I tell you I almost peed my pants, like, five times, I'm not even kidding. Because I'm like, I know all your guys' sense of humor.

It was so fucking funny. At least you more than Caroline. And I'm like... That's why I'm so shook by this. I'm shook by this conversation I even have to be in here I thought for sure you guys would be on it no I do let's establish it's a

want to have this conversation but I also feel like you guys are my friends it feels weird when we disconnect on something like this you're making this about like our friendship no I'm saying that I'm so shocked that you guys think this way like I thought i knew you better that's what i'm saying i think it's crazy that you're saying like be better about liking or not liking a movie you cannot

like the movie i never said you can't like the movie the way that you guys are shitting on it sat to me sounds like you're dismissing the entire thing as kind of shitty and you're not going to recommend it to anybody in your life you're not going to make it to women in your life i recommend it to everyone because i said go watch it stop like am i taking crazy pills but that's what i'm saying like it's just and and caroline made a good point too like maybe it's just not for you whatever that's all fine but then why go on a rant be like it sucks so bad like you're you're uh i mean that's what i do no i know that's what you do that's what i'm asking if you actually feel that way is what i'm asking do you actually feel like it sucks that bad I do feel like

I mean saying a 0 out of 10 is exaggerating yes saying I don't think that movie's good I would not recommend it I will never watch it again that's all very true

I don't think making a movie video being like I could understand that a young girl seeing that is impactful but I don't like you know i'm like i guess review a movie like for sure it was oppenheimer and it was barbie and it was this and it was that

it was two opposite extremes but i guess one was like the top movie of all time and i thought one i was like oh also the hype behind it is what we were just talking to jim gaffigan about it he had the opposite experience he was like i wasn't even gonna go see barbie i was like that shit is not for me but my daughter's friends canceled and so i went with her and i and he said he was like oh okay and i went in being told that or at least under the assumption from either things that i heard or heard through third hands or the grapevine that this was going to like change Hollywood and that there were executives like staking their career on this being the best script they've ever heard and read and so I because when I first saw Barbie I was like oh

this is going to be a funny thing that for for kids who grew up on it guys or girls um I was a big Barbie guy you could like you could you could, then you would like it. You had Alan. And then I heard. No, I had Barbies. I had Barbies way too late. I'm kidding. And then I heard that it was something I was like, oh,

wow. Okay. Maybe this is going to be something like very clever and unique and like symbolic. And then it's going to make me think. And I feel like a lot of the messages was like things we've heard before and maybe it was put together so that i think that that line of thinking is what's pissing everybody off like being like oh we've heard it all before it sounds like an eye roll it sounds like you're rolling

your eyes it's not i rolled my eyes in america i'm not doing an eye roll i said to kevin that to me that to me like makes me sick to my stomach like rolling your eyes in america for every speech i understand that not the message of it no no but listen I get the message I understand that and some some girls think this too

they think that the speech was a little like okay we get it that's all I'm saying no no but like you can shut the fuck up about that like I can say

yeah okay we get it yeah I can but I can also voice my opinion about the fucking movie no I know I don't think that should make me like

I hate you or women but saying that you think America Ferrera's big speech about how it's difficult being a woman you rolled your eyes at that that sucks at the moment that to me is a bad attitude i think when i heard that they shot that 50 different times and like that was the core moment of the movie i i do think that that was stunning to me because i was like i felt that it was i've heard that's what i'm saying i felt that it was before i've heard that I felt that it was before. I've heard that like from other people. And I'm not saying I disagree with it. I totally understand.

But it sounds like you're sick of it. I'm not sick of it. I'm surprised that that was what was like the big moment of like writing and delivery. And I felt that that part of the the movie maybe not that maybe the writing itself if you if you write it down on a piece of paper and you read it out which i've seen and i've read the whole thing reading through it it's like yes i've said this before i've heard this before i've seen this before none of this is new her delivery during that scene in my opinion was you could feel the frustration you could feel the anger you can see it on their faces it's the moment in the movie

where the men have come in and they've taken over everything and they all feel like what the fuck i can't believe the real world is coming into this which we have made this perfect world and they're coming in and they're fucking it up and it's what snaps them out of it to take themselves back like it's it is a big moment in the movie and like i guess i don't want to boil it down to well it's just a movie that i want to that i want to review that to me yes sure when I went to go see the movie the first time I thought oh I'm excited to see what happens in this movie am I gonna like it am I gonna think it's cheesy is it gonna be over the top are they gonna hit me over the head with all of the you know girl power whatever because I don't like that either I don't like a hit me over the head with girl power shit I think it's annoying

sometimes whatever this was not that for me and I am shocked about just the people online you know trolls online i can't always like believe trolls online or or believe that that's actually what the opinion of the world is because that is hard is there a lot of people saying this it's men men are saying it's incels incels and horrible people that are in my bullshit all say this all day long they say it sucks those are the people saying like like the bench of heroes of the world who are like this yes all the people are saying but something the bench of heroes of the world who are like, this is like man hating and threatening the patriarchy. But something that bothered me too, something that bothered me too and why I think I'm, I'm now like, I'm completely galvanized about this by the way.

Like I am, I'm on a, I'm on a different plane. Like it's, it's just, we're past, we're past reality for me when it comes to this because I feel really strongly about it. What bothered me was when I was talking to my parents, I talked, I texted my mom. I said, oh my God, I'm seeing the Barbie movie. I'm so excited. My mom was like, Oh, I heard it sucked. I heard it got bad reviews because my dad goes on and he sees all the bullshit online. And he's like, Oh, that movie sucks. Of course. It's going to be all about like blah, blah, blah, inclusion, whatever. And that's like my own issue to deal with at home. I can't believe that that's like,

that's my dad talking shit like that. And that's my mom believing him. So if there are people like that running around here, I feel like I have a responsibility as somebody who has i don't know you know talks in a microphone sometimes to say that this is normal and it's fine to have cried at the barbie movie five times because it sends a message that's important and i think that if you want to roll your eyes at it that's fine but if it's something that like yes maybe you've heard a million times before, but what's the, what's the harm in hearing it one more time? What's the harm in somebody who's never heard it before hearing it for the

first time? What's wrong with that? Why does that make it a cheesy fucking movie? That does not make it a cheesy movie. Okay. I think that's fine. Yeah. Like if,

if, if there are people who take away, I brought a quote, I brought a couple of quotes. This is something I said, or I saw online. I'm just, I'm just screenshotting things I see online. So I brought a couple quotes. This is something I said, or I saw online. I'm just, I'm just screenshotting things

I see online so I could bring in here and say them. This one says that, oh, it compares the Barbie movie to the Taylor Swift tour and why both are so successful.

Why, why did Barbie like blow everything out of the fucking box office? Why is Taylor Swift selling every single thing? Whatever it says. Yeah, isn't that a good point though?

Like Taylor Swift can talk about this shit forever what do you mean no like these messages people they're comparing people are like being like oh whatever so listen so that that's kind of my point in that no listen what it says it's not revolutionary listen to what it says no no you're wrong listen what this says an obvious lesson from the gargantuan success of both is that there is a huge undeserved market for entertainment that takes the feelings of girls and women seriously i don't again like i yeah agreed but then why do you then how come then how come you guys being like oh the speech is lame this that whatever how does that how do you not see that that feels like you're not taking

anything seriously like how can you separate the two i guess is what i'm asking i understand wanting to separate the two but i'm telling you with this you can't separate so i will never say this again i will not voice my opinion on barbie again okay my job is done okay but i do have this one says no no no this well i have one more quote i wanted to say and this is something that i think that i read this i don't know where this came from some some bitch i think that uh it's something that a lot of people are are worried about all the time when they are like fighting with people. And I only say this because like we're friends. Obviously, I don't care.

Whatever. You're my friends. I'm not saying – I'm not being a bitch. But people are talking shit. That's why I'm here for real. But something I saw, it says, I would rather adjust my life to your absence than adjust my boundaries to accommodate your disrespect. And that's the energy that's out here right now. So that's what I'm saying.

Like it's not – I'm not trying to be like a total cunt. I'm trying to be – it's bigger than you think cool it's a great movie loved it can't wait to see it again thank you jackie thank you no okay so a little bit are you guys just learning that opinions affect people? Are you fucking... You know what, Jackie? Let's leave. Let's leave this place. This is the first time you realize your dad gets news and feeds it to your mom? That was such a dick thing for you to just say.

I know, but like... John, I love you so much, and you just fucking said that. Like, that's so rude. It's not rude. It's like, yeah, I know. Sometimes my parents' opinions affect each other. You gotta get some bitches up in your life because you've been chilling with the boys too much and it's like it's kind of it's a little crazy but i i don't know i knew my parents opinions affected

each other talk like that though like i don't i feel like you guys didn't use to talk like this i feel like what dude i feel no no listen god i was almost out listen listen listen listen i know i know that you're saying this i feel like you guys aren't this you'll be contrarian you'll talk shit you'll do whatever in like a joke way. This one felt serious, which is why it's like, it feels kind of weird. I seriously didn't like the movie. Everything else about the fucking matter,

subject matter, I agree with. I have done so much for all the girls here. And like, and now it's like, I said one thing about a movie and you guys are talking shit. Fine.

Fucking go say whatever you want. It's not the, it's again, it's not just the's again it's not just the movie it's the message behind the movie that's that it feels like we've agreed to that so many times now in about 80 minutes of talking we have agreed about the message behind it we agree that the fight that you guys have to go through sucks i wish it was different we try to actively make it different by doing shit like this and doing a lot for you girls.

That is all in agreement. That one's going to hurt. The frustration that you're feeling, it's just the frustration we feel all the time. I'll keep saying stuff like that. This is what I'm saying. It's not, I get it. I get you're pissed off,

you're frustrated, whatever. No, I'm just saying that we're in agreement about. No, I know, but it doesn't, you're saying that now're frustrated whatever but I'm just saying that we're in agreement about no I know but it doesn't you're saying that now now they're having this conversation yesterday you were singing

a different tune that's what I'm saying yesterday I was talking about the movie and like the script and the delivery and the expectations and the hype

and how that was all different from what I expected yeah it was never a moment where I was gonna be like Barbie I didn't think Barbie was going to be about feminism or that surprised

me or the message like that I all understood I thought it was going to be like delivered a little bit differently or what did you expect what did you actually expect as far as delivery I thought there was going to be some sort of

like symbolism right what would that have been What did you expect? Like, what did you actually expect as far as delivery? I thought there was going to be some sort of like. If there was something that would come into your life and knock you over the head. Right. What would that have been? I don't know. That's why I was. That's why I was like, I can't believe that Barbie is being like portrayed as this. Because what it was is what I originally thought it was going to be is like people acting like dolls. Like a lollipop, like goofy, funny, silly sort of way.

Yeah. Okay. And I thought it was going to be. Which I felt like it had. More. That's what it was is what i'm saying and i didn't think it was going to be as like lollipop i thought it was going to be like oh i see sorry written in a like uh rather than the feminism and like the speech and the representation being like boom here it is which is maybe what they wanted to do because they wanted to reach people who i was saying yesterday we have like grown up in a city we work at this company i originally i would have yesterday thought that people thought of us as more i don't want to say

progressive but more like not well no i mean that's what i'm saying is you guys are the good guys but all of a sudden you're not but i just like now we're being like if you wanted to reach i'm not a good guy by the way don't give me a good guy label because then i have to live you guys are the good guys here like you said it before you do you yes me personally don't time for me yes as a person i know you i know you like me as a person i don't know if that has anything to do with the fact i'm a woman but i know that you like me as a person and you do a lot for me does that have to do with the fact that i'm a woman, though? No, no. I mean, exactly. So I don't know if you can claim like I've done so much for the girls here. No, because they're girls.

I'm just saying that like, no, I'm saying that like I thought I don't know. I would never have thought that yesterday would have like changed. Like Caroline's like opinion of me has now changed. But I guess it has. I don't know. We're working on like sketch comedy together. We're trying to build this comedy thing. If people now don't like me or think that I'm, I don't know, a good person or whatever. Okay.

I thought it was so fun when everybody was like, oh, Barbenheimer, Op and Barbie, whatever the fuck. I thought that was super fun. Now I don't like that everybody's comparing the two movies. I think that's fucking insane. They're not even in the same category of movie. But that's crazy. Like, of course they were going to.

Like, it's been, we've been talking. We've been comparing them for six months. I guess. No, no. But people have just been comparing them. It's freezing in here, by the way. I'm shivering. We do it to keep the girls out. They've just been comparing.

No, I was just going to say. I was just going to say. Well, hey, guess what? That's the whole fucking office, by the way. The whole fucking office is this temperature. We're trying to get rid of you. I know. That's why I don't come here.

Anyway. I always thought that the why I don't come here. I always thought that the Comparatons were like aesthetics only. It's funny because it's hot pink and it's funny because it's black and white atomic bomb whole thing, whatever. But now people are like Oppenheimer blew it out of the water, can't believe it, whatever. They should never have been. They don't have the same

ones that historically thriller bomb movie. I would say to try to even the playing field because you can't really compare apples and oranges totally the like oppenheimer's success as a historical drama whatever the fuck you want to call that yeah it was a better version a better one of those movies than barbie was a comedy i don't know if i mean yeah barbie's a comedy i laughed my ass off i like like i said i almost peed my pants whatever i also said i don't know if – I mean, yeah, Barbie is a comedy. I laugh my ass off. Like I said, I almost peeved my pants, whatever. I also say like –

I don't think I would put Barbie – it's hard because I – And that's actually kind of what I'm talking about. I don't necessarily think like it's a comedy. I think it's a – Commentary on – Yes. Like I think it's more of a cult classic type movie. I thought I was going to walk out of Barbie.

I've never seen a cult classic and been like it was okay and had people upset about me about it it sounds like you guys just wanted everybody

to love it and then if they didn't you just say it's not for you and then you say it's over your head no I expected everyone

to fucking hate it I was actually worried for Barbie to come out I expected everyone to fucking hate it I expected everyone to hear like oh look at all

looks like they checked all the boxes oh looks like we got this you know feminist garbage up down our throat i expected that when i went to go see it and then when i saw it i went holy shit this is actually amazing people are gonna love this this will span it's like a huge age difference and i think it sends an incredible message that's what i want everybody to it does that what do you mean you don't think it's't think no no no or it spans age groups and demographics oh i think it totally does yeah that's i just i mean i i think it i think it

caps out and i think you guys are too old but i think that that's i guess i mean i don't know i mean we're like again like i hear i hear my dad if you and my dad have the same opinion is where i'm that through but we don't like your dad is talking about like the feminine no i know i'm talking about the comedy like when when caroline brought she compared it to wedding crashers i'm just like i don't know i was laughing i wouldn't compare it to wedding crash i there is you know that was my point i was like i was like what are some of your other really she was like that's the funniest movie i've seen in years and i was like give me some other movies and she brought up wedding crashers and it's hard because there hasn't been those funny blockbuster comedies in like a decade

but if you if you want to compare it to those i'll say this i'll say this the i'll compare it to another like female movie it was funnier than book smart book smart with beanie feldman and oh i like to see it shock i know i like that was me just brawling you out for no reason i also i said book smart olivia wild beanie feldman they're the girls you know graduating high school it's basically like a super bad yeah for girls yeah yeah and that's what i'm saying like that could have been something great that could have been a you know whatever but of course it didn't it did well it didn't do as well as super bad because it was about women and that's just a fact if that were the same because you know what the other movie

with the kids good boys or whatever that went fucking crazy for no reason i i if i remember correctly and i was like that movie is about even younger kids but again it's about boys so it's like all right boys they relate to it it's their younger selves whatever it's like this whole thing i think super bad had that same kind of nostalgia and that same kind of we're all chilling in the basement i mean this whole fuck you know every i said this as a joke every guy podcast is in a basement every girl podcast is in a sleepover set and that's me included i'm i'm having a sleepover you guys are in the basement we all want to have that nostalgia barbie was a sleepover for us so that's exactly it though that's what i'm saying that's what it was

and it wasn't something grander than that but i guess i just i didn't say because i don't because i i and i like super bad even though it wasn't like – Yeah, but like – But I didn't say it sucked. But if you did, I would be like, okay. I don't know. I don't know. Like I was told – I think it's the tone. I think it's all about tone. If there was like five years of hype for Superbad or something and you were like, that was funny.

But it didn't like live up to what we were talking about. Like they put it on like this is going to be a 10 out of 10. This is going to be something you've never seen before. And was like i've heard some i've heard a lot of these theories i not i did not walk out of barbie saying i've never seen that before or oh i didn't think of it that way or like that was really cool the way that that represented that and this was symbolic of that but you lose me there because i i did I did walk out thinking those things. I did see a lot of jokes, a lot of what? Is there one that jumps out? I said this in either my blog yesterday or somewhere.

What I thought – I think what moved me most is when Ken goes to the real world and he discovers the patriarchy. And he's like, wait, what the fuck? He's like, all the men are in charge here. The part where they say we do sneaky? Yes. Yeah. That was good. And I was like, wait, what the fuck? He's like, all the men are in charge here. The part where they say, like, we do sneaky? Yes. That was good. And I was like, this is, that is exactly correct. And also, there were a lot of little,

like, little things sprinkled in. That's what it was for me. I laughed at the Supreme Court joke. The Supreme Court thing was good. I laughed at when the guy said, yeah, we're just sneaky about it now. Those are all things that I was like. Those were good.

But then even when, even when the, when, you know, Barbie hadn't got back yet and Ken was there and he's, you know, taking over the Barbie Dream Houses. They're putting horses up everywhere. They've got beers everywhere. It's like, you know, Barbie hadn't got back yet and Ken was there and he's, you know, taken over the Barbie Dream Houses. They're putting horses up everywhere.

They've got beers everywhere. It's like, you know, Mojo Dojo Casa house, like that whole thing. And then she comes back and she's so upset. It was just like taken from her. She's never experienced that before. I feel like that moment is a moment that happens to women all the time. Like you have something, you think it's great, and then a man comes in and ruins it. And I'm not saying that that is like this narrative of, oh, we have to, you know, fuck men forever.

I don't agree with that. And I don't think that this movie was anti-man at all, like we were saying. I think when we were texting, I did say that, but I was being a little like flippant about it. I think that the message for men as well. You can't be flippant about it. What's that? Kevin got jumbled for that. That's what I'm saying.

I'm right here catching myself. I texted you on the side. So if ever you call me, I'll be like, you said it was anti-man. I was being flippant. And I think that the messaging behind it and the emotions behind it, the feelings behind it are something I didn't expect. And I think that that is what, like, maybe those things you don't get or that's what you didn't, you've never experienced it. So it wasn't impactful to you or you didn't notice it or you didn't think that was funny or whatever right and that's all fine i did not think it was funny that is what i'm saying i'm not saying but it's fine i think i'm not i've never said like i think

it was funny personally but i can see how other people like can you like you i can see how you can see how why do you can you see why women love it so much is what i guess i am surprised that you guys think it's as funny as you think it is. If you said it's impactful, I get it. If you say this is like the level of humor, maybe it's not like ha, ha, ha, but because there's a message behind it, that is something important. If all that, I'm just saying like for two people that I know or at least you, I know like your sense of humor. I would not think that you would be like, holy – I'm peeing my pants. I just wouldn't think that. There was a part.

There was a part where I was choking. If you told me like that's so – that's exactly what it's like to be a woman or whatever. Depression Barbie and the like Pride and Prejudice joke. Like I like – again, maybe it's too – maybe it's like too inside baseball like for girls. Like it's just – you know what I mean? That could be too. Maybe that's just what it is. Right.

And then that's what I was saying is I expected it to be something that spans ages, generations, demographics, styles. But I'm also surprised that you guys didn't – or you weren't laughing more at the Ken stuff. I was, again, laughing so hard when he comes back and he's got the horse stuff everywhere and the beers and the way they were all talking to each other and they don't really know what they're saying, but they know that they have to act this way. To be fair, I fell asleep a little bit. Are you out of your mind? He fell asleep in the movie a little bit. I announced that. It's not a secret.

I said I fell asleep. I'm hearing that for the first time. I've said it on the show. You must have whispered it because I didn't hear that. I said I was like, I fell asleep at a 4 p.m. viewing on a full night's sleep. For like 15 minutes. I fell asleep when they were driving back to Barbie Land. So you missed like all the good Ken jokes then.

He came back and he's wearing the outfit. He's like, don't worry, Ken, you look so cool. And he's like wearing like a mink coat. Like it's just, it was, I thoughtink coat a funny way to like make fun yeah because i saw him watch like the male tropes in the same way that they made fun of the girl things or you know uh not really made fun of but like spoke to them but i i thought it was so fucking funny in that way and i thought for sure you i'm like whatever like i feel like you're you're you're a tougher critic i think when it

comes to comedy i think i thought that you would have been like love i went in with really high expectations and i laughed i laughed a few times like i i'm not saying it's a piece of shit i'm like i laughed a few times i went in with probably the wrong expectations and i was like oh i thought it was gonna be like a lot funnier and i think that was pretty much the basis of my opinion like dirty funny like what kind of i I just – I don't know. Well, you told me it's camp. And I said I don't really like camp stuff, so that makes sense. I don't like that stuff.

Like all of those – Yeah, you said that too. It's camp, which means it sucks, which I don't think is – Well, a lot of people usually say camp sometimes. And I'm like, I think that's just bad. And you like it and you call it camp. I think that's the wrong definition of camp. I think people use camp wrong, I think.

Oh, okay. I would say that Barbie is camp. Yes. And I don't like the camp wrong. I think. Okay. I would say that Barbie is camp. And yes. And I don't like camp. Okay. So like that. I don't even know if I don't like it. I don't understand camp.

I don't get it. That like goofy him being like goofy. It doesn't make me laugh. I like dry, witty, satirical, clever shit like that. That's not that we can agree on that. Right. No, no. Dry, witty, satirical. I feel like I feel like so that we can agree on that right no no dry witty satirical i feel like i feel like so much of this movie was that like the messaging i understand but like the delivery

of like it being this big like we're humans i felt like that was funnier i felt that that made it funnier when they were saying these like these like very real things but like as barbies at that like kind of made it funny to me i was like all right that's just right that doesn't mean yeah that to me like the i feel like we've done 80 minutes or whatever hour long this would be now in three shows we're like it was fine and i've had a million people say it to me off air like yeah it was fine and it's just i feel like we're starting to talk in circles it's like yeah it was fine yeah that's i mean yeah that's fine that's fine to talk in circles i just am you know i was surprised personally i was surprised and i wish i was here i wish i liked it trust trust me i fucking wish i came out being like it was the greatest movie all the time

i think it was fine again we want to talk larger messages messages that's a completely different story the movie itself i just like you guys didn't just say it was fine though like i feel like you didn't just say it was fine like that's what i'm saying it's got 80 minutes of conversation going back and forth about it i thought most of them i didn't want say it was fine, though. Huh? I feel like you didn't just say it was fine. That's what I'm saying. It's been 80 minutes of conversation going back and forth about it. You should have. Most of them I didn't want to have. Honestly, yeah. Really, all it is is you just said it was fine and talked about Oppenheimer for an hour

and a half. That's what we're going to do with every hot topic from now on. For real. The topic was fine. Right. To be fair, I didn't know it would be a hot topic. I was excited to just go and see a fun movie. You didn't know Barbie was going to be a hot topic?

I went in knowing it was going to be a- No, I genuinely didn't. I did not think it was was gonna be a hot topic i i went and knowing it was gonna be i genuinely didn't i did not think it was gonna be a hot topic i thought that i didn't think i didn't think people were gonna like it as much as they thought like i i didn't like i wouldn't have expected you to like i made the other video being like if you're if you're threatened by it and you and you like think that this was some and that's also fair that's like fuck you and if you think that it's genius that's fucking ridiculous, which is where I always am on every fucking topic. Like, it's just in the middle, and that was okay.

And now if you guys are talking shit and I'm holding out a touch, like, fucking fine. I didn't think you were in the middle on this one. I made a video saying that. No, I know. So that's the fucking, I'm in the middle if I made a video. Your middle I don't think is the middle is what I'm saying. I think me saying this extreme and that extreme are both wrong is the definition of the fucking middle, Kelly.

That's just not how you sounded. I don't think you watched that video. Yes, I did. Yes, I did. I saw it. Of course I saw it because I agree with that completely. Because that's another, well, I didn't bring up those people because those people are out of their fucking minds. No, I mean, you're one of the people saying it's all genius and all that shit.

No, I'm not saying it's genius. I'm saying it's obvious on purpose and that is what it is. And it's for a reason with a bigger message. I even said that too. I'm not saying that Greta Gerwig is over here calculating and writing. I do actually think that. No, actually, no. No, no, I take it back.

I do think that a lot of it is like that because that's how she writes she is like that and it's a lot of like double entendre stuff it's a lot of deeper meaning all right well so go everybody go talk your talk their shit okay see you later all right can i tell you about how important now so this morning i was getting i was going to get my beard trimmed, right? It's so funny that you do that. I know. Why don't you just get a clipper and just do it yourself? They do the line good.

I don't know how to do that. It always looks like patchy. Bro, no one's looking at the line. Your line could be crooked. It could be straight. It's like my makeup. It's like, what? Is that jawline?

Oh, you feel it? Is that it? Okay, all right. If it makes you feel confident about yourself, go all queen. It's not a jawline. It is. It's like, what? Is that a jawline? Oh, you feel – Okay. All right. If it makes you feel confident about yourself, go all queen. It's not a jawline. It is fucking my boy Mike who had a family emergency. I hope everything is okay. Last I was getting yesterday, I got a text Monday night like midnight.

I was like, I'm very bold to think I'm awake, I guess. But whatever. That doesn't – none of this matters. So I go to – they only take cash. And so I went to the ATM this morning to get cash out, and it was like insufficient funds. And I was like, I don't have insufficient funds. So I look at my bank account. Insufficient funds.

Really insufficient funds. Big-time insufficient funds. Like way over insufficient? Like negative seven grand. So I look. I'm like, what the fuck that's not right because i never use my debit cards it's like i get paycheck pay rent that's a sense i don't use my debit card ever and i call bank of america and i'm like uh are you panicking or are you like something's wrong um oh i mean i checked my statement and i was like, well, yeah, that's not me.

That's fraud. Oh, so like you could see the – Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay. So I call Bank of America. No alerts? Dude, I'm a disturbed motherfucker. I don't get alerts on shit.

I'll get it. I'll get it. I put my fire alarm on. Put that shit on mute. I don't need to hear that. Oh, you think I have fire alarms? Buddy, I got a hole in the wall where fire alarms used to be because I missed when I was trying to jam it with a fucking broom

and the handle's off my broom. So the metal parts went right through. Spectacular. Was it one big thing or there was like $100 a year? It was two Big things It was And uh So anyway

So I see that I'm like That's crazy So That was like At 8 o'clock this morning And I was on the phone Doing like the robot thing

Where it's like What is the issue I was like Fraud Fraud And it's like We can't understand you And this is going on

And it's actually funny too Because I've just watched I finally just caught up on Sunday. What a season, by the way. So good. And the finale. I haven't seen that yet, though. Dennis is going through a lot of this.

Dennis is. It's actually, if you listen to the podcast, it's funny, which I don't listen to a ton, but I think I caught an episode where that. It's fun to see, like, the process. Like, Dennis told a story on a podcast ages ago. Like, honestly, I probably listened to, like, the first five ten whatever something like that and i know this from then that like he has a tesla and he couldn't get in the car oh yes and they were like you can't you need and he's like i can't like the key's there or whatever like the key's the phone the phone's in the car right i can't get the key

right and there's a situation like that and it's it's him always just kind of going through that and it's like this is crazy i'm doing dude i love that like that's what we do with our podcasts they do that with a fucking tv show yeah like so like it made it to that episode you're saying not like that exact thing but like yeah you can tell that glenn howerton came in the writer's room that day being like let's do something about yeah technology yeah that's so sick um yeah it was cool like having and maybe i'm wrong but like knowing that so i was was like, ooh, I see a parallel here. I'm guessing this was born of that. But the – so it's literally like an hour of fraud.

I put my social security, this and that. And then I finally get on the phone with a person, and they're like, I can't dispute these charges. And I was like, what the fuck? It was from like – They usually just believe anything. I'm always tempted to be like, that payment to my nanny is fraud. But it was like law services something. I haven't used lawyer.

This is fraud. I don't know what this is. These are government liens. And I was like, what the fuck? Here's the number to call. It's from the Massachusetts Department of Revenue. And I was like what the fuck like here's the number to call it's from the massachusetts department of revenue and i was like what so i called massachusetts department revenue same type deal where it's like put in this business and i'm like just like on the phone stressed out like i don't want any money i'm like i'm literally i got let's see here right now no No money. Negative $7,000 is what John Feidelberg is worth.

And so I fucking – God damn. I call them and I finally – at this point it's probably about two hours. It's probably 10.30 in the morning, something like that. And I'm just like – I'm tired of yelling at machines. I'm tired of yelling at robots. I'm just like begging for human interaction. Please – I'm hitting hammer and zero. Zero doesn't do anything.

Nothing. They got wise to that one. I used to just go right to zero. Zero does nothing anymore. Or I say, speak to an operator. And they just go, we're sorry. We cannot compute. Please go back to the main menu. I'm like, fuck! I hope they listen back. They don't listen back. Someone's at HR listening.

This is being recorded for quality assurance. Fucking listen listen this is ruining this guy's life storing my apartment my headphones in because i can't have my phone in my ear anymore i'm like fraud it's fraud and i fucking i finally say they're like you're right and then i'm on a hole and i'm just listening the same song and finally a voice comes on and says you're about to speak to you know one minute remaining whatever it is yeah and phone starts ringing i'm like fuck yes a person's about to answer i'm about to talk to somebody finally a human moment i'm about to have okay just what matt massachusetts department of revenue service goes what and like genuinely honestly in in retrospect And like I lied

I didn't like burst into laughter But it put me in a good mood right away Where I was like that was a human interaction Finally Had they come on the phone and been like Hello John Feidelberg thanks for calling you're a valued member Blah blah blah You're a fucking robot with a pulse

I want a human fucking moment And just what The phone of the mass department of revenue hasn't rang in years like shocked to see it ring like what the fuck what like i was like you just took all my money can i can i have some of my money back and he's like you didn't because you didn't pay your taxes in 2018 and i I was like, oh, shit. Okay. Fair play.

I guess that's it. And he's like, talk to you later. And then I call my mom, and I'm like, yeah, they just took all my money. And I guess I didn't pay my taxes in 2018. And she's like, Massachusetts? And I was like, yeah. You didn't live in Massachusetts in 2018. I was like, I got to go.

I got to call this guy back. Oh, my God. So I called back, and I called. I don't know if it was the same guy or a different guy. I talked to a few separate people because this is an ongoing issue. I need money. And I was like, what's the deal here? We'll transfer you, transfer you.

Everyone was so, like, so mass hole. Really? Like, I thought maybe- I mean, a government gig in Massachusetts, you're gonna get that. But I genuinely appreciate that. I don't know if it came across

well in my video, but people thought, like, I genuinely was like, yes, this is a person person. This isn't someone who's, like,

talking like a fucking robot. Or like an overseas, like, desk farm or whatever. Even, like, just this is someone who, like,

is sitting at a desk And is doing other shit But it's like What What And I'm like This is a fucking person Right here

And And I call I honestly Because their access I don't know if it's the same guy Or a different guy Because like I can't imagine

Many people calling The math department Like it's fucking July It's not tax season Yeah They probably like Dust off the phone And pick it up And I was like Yeah fucking july it's not tax season yeah yeah they're probably like dust off the phone and uh

i was like yeah uh it says i didn't pay my tax in 2018 like i didn't live there in 2018 and he goes you didn't live here why would you pay taxes then so we're all asking i didn't and you're telling me did you ever change your dress yeah but i don't think it really matters you've been in i think it's some fucky barstool stuff well so i was gonna say i know like i know it's a goddamn company no it is it is it 100 is i had i think i cleared it up but i had this a long time ago where it was like you live in new york but your company is a boston-based thing but that was like pre all this shit yeah so i moved here in 2016 like i don't think we have any but penn bought it in 2018 right no that was 20 like penn bought in right because it's been five years but

they're not like massachusetts is that one but like that but that probably changed something i don't know i know it's gonna be a goddamn nightmare to figure out. That's what I fucking know. I am nervous. Why? Because, like, I feel like you're not going to get this back. Oh, I'm probably not going to get it back. Yeah. Oh, you're nervous about that?

I've accepted that. We know that part. I was just going to wait. Like, I thought if it's not fraud, I thought it was going to just be a mistake but it's not it's the government no no no that money's gone hope you're good at the AI TikToks yeah we're going to catch John

ice cream so good I need to pay taxes I gotta pay my taxes taxes so bad the message of the story is just fucking be a person like the like i i was what it was so it was honestly if i was that like i guess there's a world where in theory it would upset me yeah but i was so excited i was like fuck yes dude fuck yes we're both fucking pissed off. Let's put this anger together and fix something.

I was going to say, what say me and you get together and get this done before lunch? You don't want to do this. I don't want to be in it. Let's get this done so it can just be over. Snip it up, bro. What? What? What?

God, wouldn't – if I had like three wishes, one of my wishes would be like let's get rid of pleasantries. Yeah. Imagine if the whole world – you can't because you just can't. It just – it's like we make fun of small talk but then you need small talk because otherwise what do you do? But imagine if it was just like you could just say to people what or yes, no or like just get to the – Dude, like – It's so great. Because –

Or even just like the uh like like like small talk like who who was i with the other day somebody was trying to tell a story it wasn't landing and i i kind of questioned it i was like so wait what was it and they go it doesn't matter i i just it was a story that wasn't making sense so i pulled the cord and i was like love it love it like if the whole the whole world could be that way you know dude the like even like and it's probably because when I talked to Bank of America first and I was trying to report the fraud, like when that person picked up the phone, I almost snapped my phone in half because it was like, hello, John Feidelberg. You're a valued member. If you're an active duty service member, please ask us to – like so we can help you out and let you know how Bank of America supports supports military i'm like i don't that yeah that was just an you just didn't add read on yeah yeah yeah yeah i need my money like they i know they have a script sometimes and i know these are like

far calling farms or whatever they call them overseas where they either read or just say the same thing every time but that drives me nuts too where they go like i understand mr clancy and i'm very sorry for that yes we can offer you blah blah and then i say something else i'm very sorry mr clancy and i understand that it's frustrating we can offer and it's like just i am talking to a robot you know and then when you get someone who's just like hang on a second let me figure this shit out yeah yeah yeah like i'm surprised good for it like i i thought he was gonna go i don't know i don. Oh, he ended up being incredibly helpful. Yeah, right, right.

It was great. It worked out perfectly. Yeah, yeah. He's looking at your info or whatever. He can tell you exactly what's going on. Don't get me wrong. You're fucked. But here's the answer why.

Here's the reason. The, like, if he'd been eating a sandwich. Yeah. Fuck, I want my lunch out. Look at you. Ah, fuck it. I'll call you back. It was perfect.

Talk to R.A. Yeah, really. R.A. was working on hour. All right, all right, fuck it. I'm coming back. It was perfect. Talk to R.A. Yeah, really. R.A. was working on it. Yo, speaking of sandwich, did you see my tweet yesterday about the guy ordering the sandwich? No. Okay.

This is a double whammy because it's just stupid in two ways. I was at the shitty corner store and the guy Ordered a sandwich And he said Let me get lettuce Mayo Turkey and bacon

And The amount of replies That were like That's a totally normal sandwich dude What are you talking about And I was like I'm not talking about The fucking ingredients

He ordered all the Condiments first Oh I thought you were Talking about the ingredients Really Yeah Cause yeah turkey bacon That's like a

Who Yeah I Cause in my head just now I was like that's pretty I thought you told them the ingredients Really? Yeah Because, yeah, turkey bacon That's like a beauty Who the fucking Because in my head just now I was like, that's pretty I thought Who the fuck says lettuce and mayo first? I used to say Can I get a Coke and Jack Until I was shamed enough

You're a dickhead Yeah That's insane I just like Don't get me wrong I was underage at the time But You know, let me get cheese

With a burger Yeah, yeah To me Like, you say the meat, the cheese, or secondary thing, and then the topic. Now that I see what you're saying, you're right. And then on a roll, on a hero. Imagine being like, I need bread with lettuce, mayonnaise on the lettuce, and then add some turkey with cheese. That's crazy.

Yeah, that's the part. Start with the part. Yeah. You're right. I thought that was painfully clear, but I don't know. You're a fucking moron too. Yeah? Well, yeah.

What can you do? I am not an intelligent man. I saw something last night on Twitter. I also just saw something on Twitter. Yeah, X. Huh? X. X. Oh, don't. Don on Twitter. X. Don't.

Don't. Replacing bets. It's baseball. There's not much else to do. It's summertime. It's not baseball. It's summer. There is much baseball. Why can't I talk right now? No. It is summer. There is not much to be doing.

Hanging out by the beach, hanging out at the bar, watching baseball, drinking beers. Go see Oppenheimer. But go to the Barstool Sportsbook. Download the app. Download the app, then go to the Barstool Sportsbook. Place your bets. You can ride with all of our sharps here We have all kinds of

All kinds of special props All kinds of odds All the best odds All the good stuff It's very easy It's on your phone It always says to show you the app on your phone I think that's very condescending to the viewer

But what an app is Is it's a tool on your phone That allows you to do things quicker. We have one for the Barstool Sportsbook. You know what they look like. You know how they work. So go click on the app store. Click the icon.

Download this app in particular. And then place bets on it. Go to the app store, as I said. Get the Barstool Sportsbook. Ride with all our sharps, all the gamblers, all that stuff. Terms apply. Must be 21+. Gambling problem. Call 1-800-GAMBLER. I saw a tweet yesterday. Oh, all the gamblers, all that stuff. Terms apply. Must be 21 plus. Gambling problem?

Call 1-800-GAMBLER. I saw a tweet yesterday. Oh, I didn't even say myself something. Whatever. You may have seen this. It's one of my all-time favorite stories. Kristen Bell? Is that where you're from?

Yeah. Does it mean Bell watches the news right now? Oh, I saw your tweet. That's why. Bro. Kristen Bell. I was actually meant to do a Oh, I saw your tweet. That's why. Very cool. I was actually meant to do a one-minute man on this because it's awesome. Kristen Bell and Dag Shepard allow their kids to drink alcohol-free beer.

So cool. If you're wondering how old their kids are, I thought they were like teenagers. Nope. They're 10 and 8. Yep. The girls, they're both girls. They walk around just slamming NAs. And, bro, I was like, I can't.

What word should I use to describe this? It is fucking rad. Yep. That is so rad to have your kids just have a beer fridge. And before the fucking assholes, it's the 0%. It's not the.05 or whatever. It's 0% alcohol. They check that every time.

Now, what's gangster is that they do it at restaurants. At restaurants. Like, yo. i mean i'll do a zero she got a bud zero take an athletic like i i am all for it but you also can't be surprised when people go around town going kristen bell is a fucking wild mother when when when did – did your dad let you swig his beers? Not that – not like as young. My uncle did a time or two. How young do you think you were for your first sip of beer? Pretty young, but it wasn't for my dad.

Okay. I think the first time I had a beer with my dad where he was like, here you go. I was in college. I was in my freshman year of college. Yeah, I don't even know if I've done that to this day But I feel like I would guess like Fifth grade Or something like that

Like I can picture like Swigging Champ I had a little bit of champagne I think at a New Year's once But I can picture Swigging like a cold beer

And being like I don't know about this But I was like Young young But I never had a whole one Yeah That's what's weird being like i don't know about this but i was like young young but i never had a whole one yeah that's what's weird is like i don't think beer applies to like i don't think it appeals to kids appeals to the shepherds well i mean imagine like imagine like you're going to your friend's house you're already intimidated as hell because their parents are famous movie stars. And everyone's walking around drinking beers.

Sam, you want a beer? Yeah. Nuts. Kids just walk around the house crushing NAs. And, like, do they have a bunch? Like, you walk down. Because when you're a kid, you know, like, we would drink, like, 11 sodas. You know, you have, like, four bottles of Jolt.

You have a three liter like if you go down in like the playroom at the shepherd household are they just cans of non-alcoholic beer everywhere kicking them walk get me another get me another the advantage like imagine growing up to the fucking like like you're like i'm sure it's not to this extent but like the like if you just get them in your lunchbox, it's like, yeah, I don't know. I don't know what the kids are going to answer, but that's what Samantha drinks. Samantha likes a nice Heineken Zero with her peanut butter and jelly. Yeah, that's what I mean.

Everything in kids' world is like juice and sweet and tasty. I can't imagine a bitter beer being like, thanks, Mom. I mean, that's some wild shit this helps the bread lettuce mayo turkey and bacon sandwich go down yo let me say this uh you better pray everything goes okay because if you have like alcoholic kids and you were doing this that sucks yeah but Dax is an alcoholic. That's my genes. I know, but I guess you can just blame him. But all the more reason to be like, maybe we shouldn't.

Because if all of a sudden it's like, oh, I got five DUIs and I killed a guy with my car and I've been drinking beer, if you will, since I was seven. I think there's an argument. The old lady gets ready. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't know. I feel like Europeans binge drink. It's like what I was taught all the time. And, of course, if you read the full thing, she says, you know, I talk to my kids about drugs and the fact that their dad's an addict.

He's in recovery. We talk about sex. So she's got one of those households. I don't know what to do on that front i always thought i was going to be pretty like i'm going to treat my kids like you know people and like i'm not going to lock my daughter up and i want to like talk to them pretty openly and now they're still too young to do all that so i'm not there yet but i'm like oh boy i don't know i'm gonna be able to do this yeah like that is hard the awkward conversations are always gonna suck yeah like but like but like i hate every awkward

conversation right and why in the world did i think i was going to be good at or ready to have the most awkward ones with your daughter with your kid like i i think there's something to that where like like when parents like i want you to come with me to everything I don't go to my parents with everything only when the government steals my money I don't know there's plenty of issues

I've just I think there's something to that like that's that's some you shit you deal with that I want to give a list of like

these are things for your aunt and uncle go there these are things you can just tell your brother and you two figure it out these are things you tell your mother these are things you tell your father you know what i mean like if it falls out that scope i don't want to hear it use your fucking

brain like that i think i you know what i've come around on this i think you shouldn't like you like i want to be able to come and do everything do not have that relationship that's a weird relationship i do not like parents that are friends with their kids that make sex jokes and just jokes in general and hang out all the time. It's like – I don't have a single person in my life where I'd say you can come to me with anything. Yeah, anything? Yeah, anything and everything? No, no, no.

I think it's – I almost want – it's funny. I always tell – I'm always like, Shay, you're always going to love me, right? And she's like, of course. Like, why are you asking that? And I was like, because there's going to come a time when you're older and you're going to be like, I hate my dad. And like, I don't want to hang out with him. He's a loser. And she's like, no, that would never happen.

I'm like, yes, it's gonna. It's gonna. It's gonna. And I'm pretty sure at this point, she's like, you're fucking weird, dude. I don't know why you think that, but I, like, bro, do you know how hard it would be to impart some of the knowledge and things that I've gone through and had done to Keegan about, like, female relationships? Like, I can't. At what age can I tell him about some of these fucking things that have happened? You know what I mean?

Like, how the fuck are we going to tell our sons what our experience was? And like, hey, what you got to do is you got to watch out for the fucking, you know, the people who are like CIA spies. It's called text now. Right. Like, how are we going to do that? I don't even want. I don't want to, like, get a little much don't even want i don't want to like i don't want to tell keegan like here's the thing always make sure that they're not logged

into your apple id because then they have everything because then they have everything it doesn't matter if you change your passwords they have everything you know like sometimes you're going to want to sweep your your apartment to see if you're bugged keegan and when that happens trust me it's the apple id these are things i should not like a 14 year old boy you know it should be like you're gonna have feelings for a girl and you should treat her really well but don't ever let her have your phone but i think there's something to that too where like i i think let him learn a lesson on his own. One of the things I always reference, and I think it was a formative moment in my life, was I was in the bathroom one day.

I was probably, like, 16 years old, and I was talking on the phone to a friend about a party we'd been to. And I was like, oh, we got so fucked up, blah, blah, blah. At home, this was? Yeah. And just my mom happened to be on the other side of the door, like, putting away laundry or whatever. And I came out, and she was just standing in the doorway. She was like, you were at a party this weekend? And I stopped saying things out loud ever.

Yeah, like, ever again. So you never asked a question in school ever again? You never spoke out loud ever again when your mom was there? Unless you know everyone's listening. Yeah. Then we say everything. Assume everyone's going to hear everything. Yeah.

Yeah. That's a good – it's a crazy neurotic way to live, but it's super, super accurate. I haven't been relaxed in 20 years. Bro, I have not. I have not been relaxed in so long. You know, D, I think I've talked about this too. Sometimes you'll see a tweet where it's like whoever's reading this, and it speaks to a large

swath of people because they go viral for a reason. But every time, I'm like, oh yeah. It's like, whoever's reading this, relax your shoulders. Get your tongue off the mat. I'm like, oh yeah. I'm doing all those things. It's going to get weird for sure.

I think this is a fair segue. The viral tweet, not viral tweet, viral story of former Kentucky co-ed goes viral for celebrating mugshot portfolio on Instagram account. Do you know this woman? No, but I am. Consider my interest peaked. Bro. As well as my penis. I read this article.

I'm so embarrassed about this because, like, everything we just said. And some lessons aren't learned. Sometimes you stop talking out loud. Some lessons, it seems like you might never learn. Yeah. I don't know what you're going to say, but that's very funny. Seems like we can – this ship has sailed. I'm pretty rest assured I'm always going to do this one.

Like consciously and logically, I know bad. But I still go, but it's colorful. And so I'm reading this article, and I'm going to tell you what was in my head the whole time as I read it. It says, This former Kentucky co-ed was Suma Comorauti, a Bluegrass State bad girl, has gone viral with a medley of 11 mugshots, and the crimes that accompanied them after the images were posted on Instagram.

Rayanna Bell Brock has been busted for everything from shoplifting to terrorism and appears to have enjoyed many of her misadventures judging from the booking images um read more with the girl next door looks and joyous grin she's ear to ear in every mugshot uh brock vaulted to internet fame last week after the images were featured in a popular instagram now the chronicle of chaos appeared on the instagram on the popular instagram account. The Chronicle of Chaos appeared on the popular Instagram account Mugshody, which posts notable portraits from across the nation. The former Eastern Kentucky student, who goes by the name TheQueenofChaos23 on TikTok,

began collecting the shots back in 2018 with a theft bus when she was only 18. TheQueenofChaos. Brock's most recent image. This shit can put me on a leash and walk me around the joint. Holy moly. Brock's most recent image shows her smiling widely in an orange jumpsuit in 2020 after being collared for terroristic, threatening, and stalking. What kind of?

We'll let that one sit in the air. Bro. What kind of ring? Oval shade? Square shade? Oval-shaped, square-shaped? What do you want, babe? She appeared particularly proud of one bust in Stanford, Kentucky, where she was arrested for stealing a car, crashing it, and then going back to her dorm. Bro, she is smiling.

This is one of my favorites. Like first day of school, like – This is one of my favorites, she remarks in the comment section of that one. Brock's fan base thirsts for more when the release of each image. White teeth, though. We need a fucking documentary on this big shorty. One commenter. Others are more flippant, calling for Brock to seek help to avoid an unfortunate end. The chick is crying for help.

She's going to kill herself any day. Well, I mean. Yeah. Now, wait. Has she killed anyone? No. Has she hurt anyone? I don't think so.

Mamed anybody? Sadly, Brock informs her fans. She has emotionally tortured so many men. That is for certain. But as long as she is not hurting people physically, I'm so down with this chick. The one woman crime waves other offenses, including... One woman crime wave?

This chick sounds like she's in the comic books. So the queen of chaos had a one woman crime wave until Captain Marvel had to stop her. They include wanton endangerment of a police officer stealing a firearm and drug offenses. I like to think she just grabbed the cop's gun right off his neck. Motherfucker! The queen of chaos is here! A couple pop shots? A couple pop shots?

I'm picturing the cops in Superman, just fat and slow, being like, She got my gun, Johnson! She got my gun! She's cocking it. Bro, at Eastern Kentucky U. Oh, man. But I was reading that article wait why is she like she should be like in jail after so many things no does she have like she's got

yeah what was her terrorism that terror it was terroristic threats and stalking oh okay okay who amongst us who amongst us um i I want to marry her, but I also want to get in contact with her ex-boyfriends. Let's probably, one, two, and she's probably got like four or five that she's terrorized. Start the official support group. We'll be the founding fathers. We'll be called the victims of chaos. The VOC. And we will begin, and she will be like

our like inspiration god damn as I was reading it and again like I can logically know one thing but just the body reacts the way it reacts the heart wants the heart wants John

the only thing echoing in my head was where is she oh I just had Christian Bale literally every line I was like The only thing echoing in my head was, where is she? I just had Christian Bale. Literally every line is like, where is she? Bring her to me. I'm fucked, man. I'm fucked. You are.

You are. Somebody help me. This is a genuine plea for help. Somebody fix me. I'm kind of crying. I don't want to be this way. Bro. Oh, God.

I'll tell you, though. You make me feel you make me feel good though about myself because there are definitely times where i'm like man it seems like john you know has kind of like grown up and and he's like avoiding certain things and being like you know good and Sometimes I have some thoughts and I feel like – and then I hear this. I'm like, okay, we're still – as long as we're both still fucked. Okay. It makes me feel like I dated a guy who got arrested five times. Remember?

Yeah, yeah. You were in love. She's in love with a felon. And I thought I was hot. That definitely is – Guy crime. I think you might be worse than us. Because guy crime is...

It was two DUIs, too. Yeah, right. He was a piece of shit. Two DUIs. That's boy crime. But this is... Well, she has a lot of DUIs. She has DUIs, though.

Huh? She has a lot of DUIs. Yeah, but you get as many DUIs as you want as long as you've got a terroristic threat on the record. Wait, wait, wait. Jackie has a lot of DUIs? No. Okay, the way you were pointing on camera, I just want to clarify that.

Her guy or whatever. But, like, here's the thing. Nick will come in with a comment where he's like, what? No. Wait, we used to throw up fucking kids? What? She... When girls get like

Terroristic threats You're like Well I mean That's just the letter of the law She wasn't really gonna Come on How is she gonna commit terrorism? You know

And like you said Like you know Threatening a police officer With a gun With a girl It's like come on That's cute That's cute

Look she said it with a smile She's got a nice smile The smile It's a nice smile She's got a smile that is a smile it's a nice smile she's got great teeth they're actually almost a little too long they're kind of like piano keys there but the rest the other ones are fucking banging dude she's got like lindsey lohan ask yeah to go like 12 for 12 that's crazy like you know you have a couple good mug shots but usually there's a like a life ruiner mixed in there she's like she's cheesing for all going going with terroristic threats and being like wanton danger that's also some white girl shit where you're like i'm gonna beat this yeah oh yeah you're like i'm back out on the

streets by fucking friday yeah god damn don't even worry i won't need a meal i'll be out of here before i'm hungry um god damn all right do a voice but But you know what is funny Mug Shorty is funny Like I've DM'd with him Or her I think it's a dude I would imagine Bro you're like fucking

What's her name Brittany Schmidt You're always talking to somebody I'm always I'm always You know Working the game You got the AI DM

You got the fucking I think Wait what's the AI DM That thing Oh yeah yeah My moonwalkers Mug Shorty How did How did Mug Shorty Wait, what's the AI deal? That thing. Oh, yeah, yeah. My moonwalkers. Mug Shorty.

How did Mug Shorty... I think he might have... I followed. Excuse me. And we had like a tip of the cap. He was like, thanks for the follow. I'm a fan of your shit, a fan of your work. And I was like, and you, my good man. And to you, sir.

Yeah, like just a couple of guys in the industry. You sling your smut, I sling mine, and we kind of intertwined along the way. I mean, Mug Shorty, if this existed when we were blogging, I mean, it does, but in our blog heyday, it would have been a fucking bookmark. Dude, actually, I sent a picture. We were all watching something the other night.

Do you know the mugshot queen i mean which this is this is the new one but prior to unless we're talking about the same maybe it maybe it maybe it's the same girl but he called her the mugshot queen and that's what made me like dm follow and then dm and i was like the mugshot queen is amazing um the sorry to interrupt the i sent a picture of the uh comedy thing we were all watching the other night to the group yeah did you notice my like tabs not tabs but like it's like you're you know, like, I guess they're your, not recently viewed, your bookmarks. Yeah. And that's displayed. And it is from, like, I don't know how they're still around.

It's from, I don't know, 2014 probably. Uh-huh. Uproxx, Fark, SportsGrid, NotTheOnion, BuzzFeed, Deadspin, Gawker, D-Listed, Massel, Daily Mail, Next Impulse, Big Lead, Smoking Gun, and Pro Bible. That was it right there. Let me see if I can find the mugshot queen real quick because it's not her because I just saw someone comment about the new girl. Will this dethrone the mugshot queen um mugshots fuck this girl had like so so so so many there are so many pretty girls who get arrested let

me tell you that much a lot of pretty that. Most criminals, and by that I mean men, are ugly men. At least in the mug shots, I see. I can only think of one hot mug shot, that dude with the eyes. Yeah, but he was so hot. He was so hot that Louis Vuitton himself was like, I'm breaking this guy up. Yeah, he got a fucking job being... Man, I wish I could find her. But I said, we were just talking about the account. I was like, I'm a fan of your account as much as one can be a fan of an account just completely devoid of any value.

Completely devoid of God. This is one of the worst things on the internet. Just like celebrating women who do horrible things because they're pretty. But go see Barbie. So you can find Jesus. Okay, let's do one voicemail. What's up, guys? I feel like people haven't been doing the fun facts and I miss them, so I'm going to

bring it back. Great point. Did you know that there is a new law in Michigan where you absolutely cannot touch your phone Great point. You've got to stick to things, yeah. Mug shall we? to dry yourself off again and you always have to air dry so no towels no fans no nothing you just have to air dry or that you have x-ray vision that's able to see through people's clothes but you can never ever ever turn it off this is super easy first of all um i don't appreciate her breaking the law i think that law should be expanded to if you are in public, you cannot be on your phone. I think it is –

Did you say that you don't appreciate her breaking the law after you talked about how bad it was? Yeah, but I was like – come on. Keep that stuff in the bedroom. But the – I think being in your car is not in public. That's a fair argument. And I'm going to reject it anyway. I think you can do

a bunch of things in your car that you can't do in public. Yeah, you're right. So I think as long as you don't crash, you should be able to be on your phone. Red light is kind of crazy. If I got a ticket for that, it would be terroristic threats for sure.

But it happens all the time. That one extra, and that infuriates you more than anything. At the red light? Because you know they're looking at their phone. Yeah. Just go. Just go. Yeah. Like when it turned green and there's always like – you got to give the little honk a lot more often these days.

Yeah. No, that is true. And there is the – people walking on their phone and you're like you gotta avoid them people we just said this actually on a podcast i forget who we're talking to but like you get off the subway people are right on their phone you get the top of stairs around their phone just put it in your fucking pocket until you get where you're going that's you shouldn't be allowed to be on your phone at all in public ever ever i'm i'm gonna keep i i know i'm very over the top with it and i don't care you sound old and out of touch don't well that's not the worst thing yet

um but the uh that that's that's that's my way on the first now what was the question Phone in public. The – I'm trying to find my fun facts. It is – would you rather be soaking wet, unable to dry yourself forever or – That's already what you do. Oh, yeah. We were going to get there. Or you can see through people's clothes, but you can never turn that off. You can always just see people naked. Just see people naked.

Let me tell you what. My side of the fence is not so bad. Yes, it is. No, dude. It's so awful. It's not. The other day I was trying to put my pants on, and I had wet feet, and they were, like, getting caught on the fucking pants because they were wet.

And I was like, this is so terrible. And John just does this willingly every day. Bro, I did it just the other day. Exactly that. Where I stepped. This is crazy. Where like I stepped on my bath mat in my socks and I was like, oh, I was wet. Yeah.

And then I just put my other foot. That's disgusting. No, let me tell you something. Let me tell you something. Let me tell you something. Let me tell you something. You're disgusting. No, no, no. Stop. There's something severely wrong with you.

And I think it's all connected. I think all of this is connected. I don't know how or why. And out of all your symptoms and all the things that it manifests as, that's disgusting. To be able to step because it's just such a goddamn universal everyone in the world that does that would be like oh god i gotta change my socks and the fact that you don't feel that if it wasn't so hacked hacky and played out

to say like you're a serial killer i would would be like, you're going to fucking mutilate animals next. If you can just step on a puddle in your bathroom in socks and not be like, ah, you're sick. It went one step. I went, oh, that's soaking wet. And you put the other foot down. Like a full register. And I went, who gives a shit? You don't deserve dry socks, John.

I can't even who the fuck do you think you are that you think you should walk outside today and dry socks yo you if you think you have self-esteem issues just ask yourself if you have such low self-esteem you don't deserve dry socks that is pathetic it's so that's a little level of pathetic I just it's so sad it is but like now

I have changed a little bit I've tweaked one little thing where I don't get dressed sopping wet anymore but I do

that was a dead ass if I didn't laugh right there you would have just kept talking that's insane I wasn't I don't dress sopping anymore drop the clip of you going I don't laugh right there, you would have just kept talking. That's insane. I don't dress sopping anymore. Drop the clip of you going, I don't want to be like this.

It is – so I always – I get out and I pat myself. And I pat myself and I just throw my dry towel back on over my shower. And I used to put clothes on right then and there. Boom. Clothes on. And it would just like, you know, get like spots of wet spot. Oh, the undercarriage would be a mess. But I have.

You're lucky. Like, like, I feel like mold. Yeah. Here you should grow on your body. I should have bacteria. I should have like barnacles. Oh, that's making my ears itch. That imagery of you being so disgusting, you have barnacles.

I carry my lunch with me all the time dude i can't believe these guys didn't like barbie that's highbrow humor but the the what was I going to say but what I do what my neighbors probably

would wish I went back to that me but now I I just I this is more disgusting

I just eat lunch naked before I come in like I'll shower and then I it's so funny that you also gloss over that I just – this is more disgusting. I just eat lunch naked before coming in. Like I'll shower and then I – It's so funny that you also gloss over that as lunch before you come into work. It's a little early lunch. It's like 11 a.m., but it's lunch. And I –

You sit on the couch wet? No. Bro, today – You probably get dirty again. I was on the phone. You know what I mean? Like the couch is gross and you're again. I was on the phone. The couch is gross and you're wet.

It sticks to you. Your couch is disgusting. Oh, it's awful. It's so bad. When was the last time you cleaned your couch? Never. Have you ever thought about cleaning it or getting under the cushions? Yeah, like nothing.

So you sit. It's like sitting on the ground wet. Why are you just glossing over that? Who cleans their couch clean my couch bro what are you talking about i never heard that in my life i'll clean the ceiling next what do you mean clean my couch, bro? Clean my couch. Have you ever even gone into the couch? Oh, like took the cushions out? I've lost the remote a time or two.

Yeah, like isn't it filled with crumbs? Of course it is. It's a couch. That's where the couch goes on. What am I going to do? Clean my ceiling next? Motherfucker said to my face, clean the couch. Yeah, right.

Like, okay. If you, like, spill something on your couch, would you clean it or just let it dry and that's it? I mostly drink water. Okay. So, like that. What do you think would happen? There's surely some red wine stains on it. Yeah, like would you flip the drinks? There's surely some red wine stains on it.

Yeah, like would you flip the drinks? Chocolate. I found a chocolate. Yeah, I'm glad you brought this up. I found – bro, the other day I sat on the couch and I dropped a mango right here and I went to the side. There's just this massive chocolate stain. I was like, how the fuck did that get in? Ate the mango, ate the chocolate.

I was like, how the hell did that chocolate get over my shoulder and melt? Like, that's crazy. And you just left it there. Yeah, it's still there. I mean, I scraped it. I did the fingernail. And you ate it. It was good.

All good. Dude, clean my couch. Clean my couch. You're talking crazy sometimes on this show. But that is all to say that, yes, I am. Deranged. Deranged. Deranged. You are deranged.

You're demented. Like, it's all fun and games, but you're literally demented. And it's in your romantic life, in your professional life, in your everyday life, in your hygiene. You're demented, bro. Thank God. Truly. I'm not kidding. Thank God you aren't a violent guy. Because I think you actually would kill people.

I think you, like, would be dominant. Like, all of your things, they just get channeled into humor. You're just lazy. You like TV. If you were just like, I need to get this energy out, you might kill people. Yeah.

God bless. Thank God that he made you like this instead of like that. I think you would be massacring people. Yeah. Yeah. It was like one – like it could go one way or the other. Yeah.

Luckily, I'm right here. Yep. And it's that way. What was it? Charlie Conway. Quarter inch the other way. You'd have missed the net. Mm-hmm.

I went quarter inch. You would have missed the fucking net. We got to hit the post with me. Yeah. Yeah. It's ding. You were just. You're a po-shot. I'm the human version of you at the post.

Could have been worse, but it's not great. Bro, that's awesome. The personification of hit the post. So good. So good. We'll wrap up here. What is it now? We're going into Kelly. Real quick. We'll wrap up here. What is it now? We're going into Kelly?

Real quick. Another response from The Rock. Didn't see it until now. HD cut out is funny as shit. Dwayne The Rock Johnson replying. Oh, to our video. To the video. Oh, awesome.

That's cool. That's cool. Yeah, listen. The Rock is basically a guest now. We get two replies on Twitter equals one guest appearance. So The Rock is basically now a friend of the program, basically a third co-host. That's such a funny picture. It is so good.

I mean, he looks like he's 10 feet taller than him. It's so good, man. KFC, fights, gang, hot dogs on the grill. Who wants spicy mustard? A couple older questions for you here. Fights, you ever sit on the bag of peas and jerk off? See if it hit the ceiling? Have you guys had any contact with the Mexican barber who was in the Navy?

You guys had him on the show like 10 years ago. That startup? And KFC, where 10 years ago. That's startup? And KFC, where's PR Puff Daddy's kid? I mean, he paid a quarter a day for him for 10 years, 20 years. I don't know how long. Just to not know where he is, that's wild. And I actually have an answer to one of your older questions. It's $207,006 dollars and i would put my baby in a

microwave for 30 seconds this is that's like the mount rushmore right there of old kfc radio questions who was the mexican barber from the service i don't know not bastardo bastardo was a pussy shaver right i'm having i don't know what his occupation was though this is crazy like how long we talked about dumb shit is like i don't even know what half I'm having visions, though. This is crazy how long we've talked about dumb shit. I don't even know what half this stuff is about. I know. I know what the piece is about.

I got a buddy who told me. Right. But you were supposed to do that and report back. Never did it. Just like, I'll figure it out. I'll get to it. Okay. That's pretty easy to pull off. I'm waiting for the right time.

I should have done it the other night to fucking mugshot Sheldon. I don't think you need the P. Yeah, we would have been inconclusive. We need a control experiment. I'm maybe having a vision of a live show? Barber? The Bastardo by the Barber was at a live show. Live, yeah.

Shit, this guy stumped us on our own show. I've often thought that if you ask me, Casey, radio show, I would be mad. We would get stumped nine out of ten times because they – when you listen to a show, you remember the – it's like the Chris Farley thing. Like, remember that time? Remember that time? And the people who do it are like, no. But to them, that was the funniest thing they've ever seen or the one moment that they were out at the show. You remember more than the people do.

I suppress most of the stuff I said on the show. I don't want to remember. Thank God. It's also like if we had any sort of conscience or whatever, worried about saying things. You can't do the podcast if you have those sort of thoughts. Om Prasad, I will always maintain, was a total scam i i think uh i think let me text him i ask um om prasad was a guy that my brother decided to sponsor like an indian kid um and it got to the point that it was like you know usually those things are like

a 65 cents a day can fund like a whole village. And he was paying like $25 a month or something crazy like that. And then all of a sudden they just swapped kids. Om Prasad was no more. And he got like a letter from a different dude being like, I'm not Om Prasad. I'm this guy. But like, thanks so much for your donation. You're like, you know, you own me. dude being like i'm not on prasad i'm this guy but like thanks so much for your donation you like

you know you own me and it was like they and then we called i remember we called on speakerphone like the customer service for the for the kid renting company and we were kind of like we'd like an update on own prasad and they were were like, it got testy. I remember being like, we love Om Prasad and we're not hearing from him anymore. Like, I want assurance that he's, like, safe. And they were kind of like, we don't do that. And I was playing into it. But I'm pretty sure we, like, fought with them over the phone. Meanwhile, the whole time I'm going, this is a fucking, this guy isn't even Indian.

He's a Puerto Rican guy who's, like, 35 years old around the corner from you in a chop shop in brooklyn who's running a scam on your ass because we did at one point i did get like old i was like this is a grown man he had a beard at one point five o'clock shadow and he was still funding his food provide you with like what the what your your like almost like a um itemized list of like what it went to that week and it was like condoms yeah malt liquor a bottle of whiskey yeah that that one uh that dude's either rich from scamming people dead or uh from scamming people or yeah yeah or he's still like just collecting you know like 25 bucks a month from my brother i don't know um and what was the last one uh if the baby in the microwave you got to jerk off where's home prasad yeah i mean that's that's that's our life in a nutshell dude i really and thus you know it's tough it's it's like because we're so bad at self-promotion and so bad about talking about ourselves, it kind of gets like lost in the sauce.

But like we have done it all. We've had every conversation, every answer the internet type question. Like if you're – I love when people come to me and they go, oh, I got you. I got one. I got one. I got one. I got one. Would you rather give up blowjobs or cheese?

Bro, please. Literally day one. Literally day one. I've written a thesis on this in the amount of times I've discussed it. We have done every – we've had every conversation there is to happen. That guy in 1989 said all the things that can ever be invented have already been invented. Yeah, yeah. I'm like there are no more topics to talk about.

They are all on KFC Radio. If you like this sort of shit, this sort of bullshit banter, we've done every single fucking one of them. And the ones that we forget, like some of the afterthoughts are probably like some of the funniest fucking things out there. But we're so bad about promoting it and finding it and keeping it and all that shit. But man, there is a backlog that is... If you like new episodes,

they're the same. They're probably better because they're crazier and younger and stupider. But if you like it, there's a thousand more to go listen to. I was thinking of the funniest ways you kill yourself. And this one came to mind.

What I would do is I would just rip, roar, and blackout drunk on a beach. And I'm thinking of a beach with a lot of sharks. This will make sense in just a minute. So what I would do is, let's say South Africa. Get blackout drunk on the beach in South Africa. Take a Brompton cocktail. Polish that off when you're ready to march into the ocean. However, before you march into the ocean, cover yourself and chum, go ahead and chum yourself all up and, uh, write chum pig on your chest.

After you do that, you just march right into the ocean. Just consciousness, consciousness just fades away. Once you're done with that, just right into the sea, you're going to black out and lose consciousness before you know it, probably drown, and then have the sharks go ahead and eat you up. Anyway, my question is, what's the funniest way you can kill yourself? Eva. The chum pig. I don't know if you're going to black out, by the way.

I think you're going to get ripped to shreds by sharks, and it's going to suck. Bro, as someone who's made chum before, not a fun way to go. Yeah yeah that and by made chum i mean there's like a little grinder on a boat and you kind of just put fish in and you fucking grind it up but it is not a fun thing to do fishing is barbaric bro let me tell you something i don't know you know the barbaric thing catch and release i don't care i'm not gonna give it to all that. Shark fishing. I've only done shark fishing. Just the – it's just such a production. It's – You know?

Like, I – one of my favorite stories ever was when my dad finally got the invite from his – from my mom's dad to go fish with him once. And they got out on the sound or wherever they went, and they just cracked the beer and turned on the radio and they were just chilling. It was like, are we going to fish? And they were like, we don't actually give a fuck about fishing. And that I get. And then I also even get like, you know, you go to certain spots where there's a lot of fish and you just drop your line and you catch, maybe eat it. I don't know. Whatever.

Just casual. But like deep sea or like big game fishing. Like I know guys who will go down to the Keys and they're fucking reeling in like a 400 pound marlin and it's like the greatest thing in their life and they gotta fucking stab it and pull it and fight it in their hands.

It's like old man of the sea shit. I'm just like, yo, I am good with that. Dude, I've had friends in Newport. You can't script something. Imagine if I was on the couch chilling watching TV and someone was like, you want to go do something? I'm like, what is it? They're like, we're going to go fight the ocean, fight the fish, and bring all for the deal to say we pulled it onto a boat. Nope.

No. I have had friends in Newport, and's happened on separate many occasions they were like because i got buddies who'll go like atlantic deep sea fishing and stuff like that and we'll be all getting fucked up and they'll be out with us but they'll be kind of keeping it calm because they got to go leave in the morning and yeah that's the other thing i know they leave at like 3 a.m yeah i know guys who uh like even when i was younger my cousin who like when you're a teenager you sleep to like 1 p.m every day like we were like you know he was like the sleepy head of the group he would get up like you know do night fishing get up at like 2 a.m yeah they plan their whole lives around it but we've had

like friends get like fucked up and just wake up in the middle of the atlantic ocean because they'd be like oh i'll come i'll come i'll come and then they fucking like sleep the ride out there like no dude those are the best days. Because they would just fucking send them videos the whole time of us drinking again the next day. And they're stuck on a boat in the middle of nowhere. It fucking sucks. Yeah. And you're hungover.

You're seasick. You're stuck like 20 miles from the airport. Oh, you're forever away. Literally kidnapped on a boat. And also, yeah, it's not like the fellas can just drop you off. You decided to go. You're there for the day. It's like when Nate

got on the bus with OAR and woke up in North Carolina. Yeah. I'm like, am I in America? At least that's still on land. My brother-in-law has caught,

I think it was a 450-pound tuna, and he cried tears of joy. He was like, this is a once, maybe once-in lifetime thing you could be like a fisherman your whole life and like you might just not run into a fish this big and like you know it was like it's truly the greatest moment of his life

and i the one thing i do i i i do fuck with the fisherman aesthetic like that's cool yeah you like the guy like the lifelong fisherman you live on the boats you live on the docks you know but you stink you do stink it gets in your bones and you're you're you're gross yeah but it's like a manly sort of gross you know it's kind of like like girls will still fuck you and men respect you yeah it's like when elaine dated putty yeah and she's like yeah oh a guy who's covered in grease and good with his hands yeah how disgusting there's something about that and yeah you're like you know you're gonna die of skin cancer right like you'll probably you know die of alcoholism maybe a weird you know murder or a suicide on a boat or something so there's always weird shit

going on and see that's that is like the last the last place i feel like you can get away with some shit is like out on the open waters i feel like shit goes down on international baby yeah implication you know what, people? Implication. Christopher Walken being on that boat murder? Nobody talks about that. What is it? It's Christopher Walken and another famous actor.

Do you like boat murder mystery? It's awesome watching Pat's Google. How you just throwing Christopher Walken? To add to the Google search? Is that what you're going to say? Christopher W, enter, then go back to space. I have done that before.

Alright, alright. Tap to the right, and it does it. I didn't know that. Oh, yeah, yeah. If you hit the arrow, right? Yeah, yeah. But I have done what he's doing, so I'll give him a little bit of space. My finger's already there by enter, so I'm going know that. Oh, yeah, yeah. If you hit the arrow, right? Yeah, yeah. But I have done what he's doing, so I'll give him a little bit of a pass. I think it was already there by enter, so it was a tap. Yeah. Yeah, so it's Christopher Walken and another dude.

Wait, Natalie Wood. Why do I know that name? Because I think it was like a famous – Oh, it's not just like Christopher Walken was on a boat with a murderer? So it was Natalie Wood, her husband, and Christopher Walken. And she disappeared. And there's some very shady details. And there was no police.

It was out in the fucking middle of the ocean. Her family is like, there's no way that... I can't remember if the story she was asleep on board the yacht when the three-time oscar winner met her and in a watery grave like it it was just like uh super super shady and mysterious and like his story didn't add up like how how she died i think there were some details that were not adding up and um and then christopher walker was just there and he just knows what happened and just like doesn't talk about it if he talks funny so but yeah yeah he does that little

thing so it's like can we uh acknowledge for a second my stupidity where you brought up a news story that is famous, and then I wrote a name in it. Why do I know that name? No, but I know what you mean. I recognize that. Where do I know that name from? Oh, is it the famous story we're discussing? My point is that it's not that famous, where it's like,

you know the name JonBenet Ramsey. You know the name. Yeah, yeah, yeah. This probably should be up there, considering Christopher Walken is a part of it, and he's a very very famous actor who people love and it's like he just said i was asleep through the whole thing two guys got stuck on a boat they got your friends like go go fishing like i'll call fuck it 3 a.m you wake up i'll tell

you this right now two guys one girl on a boat already it's weird yeah that's weird that's already strange like if you're just a a girl who's like yeah I'll get on the boat with you too I mean the implication it is that that's not a good idea always stay on the earth if you're a girl stay grounded to to the crust of the earth before you go out there with two guys funniest way to die

don't to kill yourself I'd probably I would probably buy a ticket to the Barbie movie and I'd blow my head off in front of the screen I'd say

this is for the patriarchy and I would want all my blood to cover the screen so that it's no longer pink it's red that's what I would do that would be funny

that would be funny the uh maybe or maybe maybe maybe i would do it with a bomb and i would say up and i would take some girls with me up and i was dope um up and i was real i'm anheimer's dude i'm an i was top top five movie yeah you know i like to reference the um the scene in dahmer when jeffrey dahmer's playing with the fish and you can tell that he's starting to realize like, oh, this is going to be a problem for me. Like when he's playing with the flesh and it's like turning him on. Yeah, he's like, I like this. And he's like, this is not going to go good. Like that's how I felt like an hour and a half into Oppenheimer where I liked it so much.

I was like, this is going to be a problem. Yo. problem yo i was i i was having like uh in in like the the least possible in the like the furthest thing from being a theoretical scientist they're developing an atomic bomb and like what we're trying to build in the world of comedy like those could not be more opposite things but just like watching that dude operate and be like so into it and be like my brain is like so fucked up. But I'm just doing this one thing. Like that movie had me like my own mind racing about my own life. Is that – you just – you watched Dr. J. Robert Oppenheimer and you're like, I get it.

No, it was more like – no. I'm trying to put together a comedy network. No, no, no, no. What was worse, I'll tell you what's worse, is I was like, I want that. I want to be that way. I would love to have such a good brain at what I want to do that people are like,

oh, like... I mean, the scene where he gives away his baby and the guy's just like, bro. I got that one. When he's like, yo, I'm just a piece of shit. And the guy's like, it's all good, dude. We get it. Like, that had me being like, give me that.

Yeah, put me in that. The other funny thing, which you and I kind of talked about a little bit already today um i thought watching oppenheimer was uh and i okay i'm gonna preface this with stuff i understand in the time why it was bad this is a great conversation i want to i want to wait i just want to see like i just want to like i just want people to guess real quick like john watched oppenheimer we talked about the movie but then like just take a guess of like what john maybe would like just bring up like like a question he might have about any of those themes of that movie any ideas what is like again i understand in the time i get why it's so bad but like now

and i don't even agree with it and i don't like it and i don't want to be labeled it how many disclaimers can we get but what is the evil at its base level of communism? He's like, why is communism so bad? So what's the deal with this communism thing? Why does it get such a bad rap? I think there should be rich people and poor people. But the rich people deserve it. The poor people don't work hard enough. But why is like if someone was like, I'm a communist, I'd be like, oh, I pretty strongly disagree.

But like, OK, I don strongly disagree. But like, okay. Why is it so like – I think that – I think it's a chicken or the egg sort of thing. I would imagine it's been – I think on a logical level, the idea behind the idea of sharing everything and being one like commune, it works good in theory but not in practicality because it's just like of human nature i think where it became evil might have almost been the the guys preaching it were like you were evil that's what i mean like in the time was doing it they were already fucking evil people in the time you were like okay you're a russian spy but like if i, you're a Russian spy. But if you're right now, if you're like, I'm a communist, I'd be like, that's kind of crazy, but okay. A word?

Okay. Are you a fascist? Yeah, I think it's one of those things where it just doesn't – it was – you know when you are arguing something and then people who are shitty agree with you and you're like, fuck. I'm very familiar with these concepts. Exc like fuck i'm very familiar with this exclusively i'm familiar with this i keep i keep arguing a thing go not like them though does it sound like them bro when i was watching watching some of my own clips i was like fuck i'm Ben Shapiro. I'm fucking Ben Shapiro. But that's what I think it probably was like. I bet you there were people who were like,

well, we're not going to enslave our whole people and kill them. We just want to share the money, man. We're not like Hitler, but that sort of shit. Do you guys get what I'm saying? Like, oh, that was so funny. Like, I'm just driving in. John's on the phone. We're talking all sorts of things.

Like we've had we talked about work. We're talking about all sorts of other stuff. And then he's like, I was naked. By the way, by the way. So like, what's so bad about communism? And then I'm going like, I don't really know the answer either. And I swear to God, it felt like I said, cue the music, put the black screen up too. The gang does communism. It felt like Charlie and Max trying to be like, I think it's all right. It's just like everyone should get something, right?

I don't agree. Some of you should die impoverished! I'm sure there are going to be so many people mansplaining this one to us. You got a cool logo? The sickle and hammer? The hammer sickle is dope, dude. The fire.

Let's just say one thing. The bad guys have fire logos. like that she was fire. The, maybe I'm a communist. Let's just say one thing. Let's just say one thing. The bad guys have fire logos. Yeah. Between, you know, the big one.

American flag's pretty sick. The stars are born. That's the bad guys to most of the world. For real. i did did you have a thought of like and i know this was like it was not like the movie did not touch upon this so it's not like it was ignored but like when i mean people were like celebrating the bomb oh that was great and i was like even for a movie that is addressing the issues involved with dropping the bomb, that is still like a pretty – Like if you were Japanese and you had descendants that were fucking bombed, even for a movie that's saying like they showed Oppenheimer and these guys like it weighed on them,

that would be wild to watch a scene where people were like waving the flags and jumping. It was like, that was our little holocaust. We were like, fuck yeah. Thank God we don't do it anymore. I'd be exhausted from celebrating. There was a party every time we dropped the bomb. I'd have no time to do anything else. What are you doing? I'm not celebrating a bomb.

I can't be busy. I've got a bomb celebration again. Well, I, I, the only time truly, I didn't, we pinpoint this like,

uh, once on an episode, like the only time like America really like comes together is like the last time we really did. It was Osama bin Laden. Yeah. Otherwise all we, the only thing that,

that comes, that comes together is killing other people, kill other foreigners. But at least Osama was just the one. It was like, in that scene, I was like, did they tell everyone what the bomb did? Did they know who it hit? It killed a lot of people. I would wonder, I mean, back then, if there were people, because, you know, obviously

World War II is so fucked up, and there was a lot of real fucked up shit plus a lot of propaganda. If there were people who were still like, I don't think we should do this or I don't think we should have done that. That was fucked up. Or if everyone was on board just like, we have to end this because it's fucking crazy. I would guess. I would like to think that there were some people going. Maybe not. But I do wonder if people knew like i i can't imagine the outlets that you know one tv channel

and five newspapers or whatever we're gonna be like so here's the deal we're gonna fucking eradicate civilians i'm sure they were like just lying about it or sugarcoating it or whatever right the uh fucking what's his name who plays the secretary of state i forget whatever but the uh when he's like i feel like he's like i don't want to live in america that no one's protesting this yeah yeah yeah yeah he was like we should anyone have something to say but if you didn't know the the uh like maybe they didn't know the extent of it maybe they thought there was going to be a military but i also i think people were i think they said it they're like between pearl harbor and like how many people have been lost in uh like we're you know which is even like yeah like our testing like our like our um

our focus groups are telling us that everyone's like fucking drop them what a wild move though you know who is uh maybe the most like impactful minutes to impact movie role ever. Gary Oldman just being a motherfucker. Truman, right? Was he Truman? Oh, that was Gary Oldman? Yeah. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. He was a bad guy. Get that pussy out of here.

Don't let that little thing. Cry baby. When he was like, you think I care about you? I'm the guy who dropped it. I'm like like this guy is fucking not nice see the that was the best action movie i've seen in a long time because it is there is it's not action in your classic sense but like there was more tension and more it's this movie i've seen a long time but the where do you put it i mean i really feel like that for me that was like i also really like that shit i like there were people who were saying like, oh, I can't.

You don't want to watch again. I was like, I will watch again right now. Somebody said to me, like the first comment I read on an Oppenheimer review was just like, like, of course you like, of course you boomer. Of course you like World War II, you boomer. It's just like, oh, fuck. So true. The minute you start getting interested in world

war ii just fucking kill yourself uh how many how much money like the cast all are like 20 to 30 million dollar people but like they do they do it for like you see i think it was you told me and then it got or someone told me and then it got fed into my instagram algorithm and i've seen the video five times now ed norton yeah yeah that like it's crazy how often i've seen that now that's a specifically crazy one but you think you think because like christopher nolan and just how big it is they're like i'll do it for like nothing or do you think it's like usually i get 30 million but for i'm only on screen for like a fraction of time so you gotta give me 10 million because even if you're giving these guys 5 10 million each there's like there's like 10 of them yeah you know i would guess that

like i guess oldman did it for basically not like very low but i i would guess they're all in like that five range you see um not killian murphy but what do you think killian murphy i was looking for the uh i gotta tweet it i think it didn't exist i was like what i i googled last night killian murphy naked because i was looking for him in the him sitting in the chair in the hotel oh that is great. And I just wanted to tweet me thinking about why communism is bad. If that's not a meme yet, it will be. Sitting there naked, smoking a cigarette, like, why is communism bad? When they cut to him, because it's her naked in the chair first, and she's asking him about something, and they cut to him just fucking lady leg crossed out he's sitting just just you think he's getting on me real quick picture this but with no clothes and he's so because he's so skinny too though he's just sitting exactly like this smoking a cigarette dude that's a little communist

if that screenshot is not on the internet yet, I'm going to go to the theater and fucking take a picture of the screen just so we can get that on the internet. I will tell you this much. The Florence Pugh. I didn't even know that was Florence Pugh. I didn't either. I don't really know.

I know the name, but I don't know. So that's another like 10 million, you know? Yeah. Florence Pugh hopping up on that dick making him read the the like the world destroyer text yeah like like like dahmer i was like this is a problem i like this a lot oh yeah getting hard to read the books i know that game brother bro you know i was like i was like I was basically like getting hard watching people read books that's where I'm at that was I was like oh man oh unable to sexually perform so something

weird gets you telling you we're just like Oppenheimer bro we're just like Oppie isn't it funny they call him Oppie too by the way way? Oppie, hey, Oppie, did we eradicate those people yet? Hey, Oppie. I'd seen it on Twitter, and I was like, that's weird. They're giving him that nickname. And I saw the movie, I was like, oh, they call him Oppie. That's actually his nickname. I mean, now I just got a text from Nate saying I want to come on the show.

I've got some thoughts. No. Nope. Closed door policy. No one's coming on the show. Okay, I just want to wrap up on this note. None of this matters because we've confirmed that we have aliens. Oh, right.

So, like, literally, I don't care about Barbie. I don't care about Twitter. I don't care about any of this. Aliens exist, and we, like, have them. Like the... Like we recovered them. I don't know if they're alive, but that same whistleblower is now in front of Congress under oath. So unless he's got a death wish or wants to go to jail or is just a complete crazy person,

because that's kind of the other options here. It's just like, why would this guy be doing this? Okay, maybe he's going to write a book at some point, cash in. But he's also inviting a lot of potential danger. He's got to testify before Congress. You don't just do this shit on a whim for fun. He was in front of Congress today. They said...

I would testify for fun, just to know. Just to know? To note. Yeah, well, for the show? Yeah. If you didn't have a, well, for the show? Yeah. If you didn't have a show, would you do it? No. Scott doesn't even have a podcast.

What is he, an idiot? Tell him about our sports. We won't sell it. But for real, don't do this in front of Congress. Do this on your podcast. Announce it on your show, and then be like, Congress, you can come to my studio. Imagine that.

Imagine if episode one is me under oath in front of Congress. your show and then be like congress you can come to my studio um imagine that imagine if your episode one is me under oath in front of congress sick they said uh so like you the united states has have recovered uh alien like spaceship uh ufo of non-human materials he said yes and said, in those instances were the pilots of those crafts recovered as well? He said, yes.

They said, were those pilots of human descent or non-human? And he said, they were non-human biologics. That's kind of crazy. I'm sure we'll be tweeting about it. That's pretty crazy.

That's pretty fucking nuts. Because what's really weird, there is always this little part of me that's like, it could be the Russians or Chinese. If we find a spaceship, some sort of flying craft, and you don't know what it is, that could either be, like, another country's, or it could be, like,

the, you know, like, the army found this, but they don't know that, like, 10 levels below in, like, the real army army, they have this technology. So, like, that sort of shit is explainable. If we're believing, you know, these these reports and stuff that they're just like

this isn't a fucking human like and it can fly a plane yeah and it's not just like a you know it's not a fucking coyote yeah whatever it is can fly a fucking machine i mean that was a draft would that be so funny and we found out that all this time, no, hippos are just the aliens. One of the planes landed. We opened up the back. It was a bunch of hippos. They'd been here the whole time. That'd be much bigger news.

So much bigger. Hippos are aliens. Yo, you know Jeffrey the giraffe can fly a plane? Well, there is a ridiculous theory the the cow theory about how they're aliens no it's not it's a very silly one like i mean of course it is but it if you think about it you can like disprove pretty quickly but the the thought is that cows were actually the most advanced race, and they knew that the earth was going to, like, expire. Like, over time, like, shit, we're heading down a path that, like, the earth is going to go barren in a billion years. The best thing they could have done for life on Earth is to become cow-like to then feed and help humans because humans will be the thing. They recognize that they can't build and fly planes the way that they're built. So they are sacrificing themselves to humans so that humans can be the best they can be because they recognize that's going to be the race to get us off of earth that and hopefully they'll bring you know a couple cows with us

and we'll repopulate another earth or whatever that's the theory but it would be very funny if giraffes were like the most important fucking race and the whole time they're just sitting there like i'm eating leaves being like these fuckers don't even know. I think the cows were like, we sacrifice ourselves for the human race. And the first time they saw a slaughterhouse, they're like, not like that! Not like that!

Veal? You're gonna kill the babies? I didn't say that. No, no, no. You're taking advantage of us. So guys, we didn't think this through. We didn't think it through. We didn't think it through. We'll get some gun they invented and just go an inch into our head to kill us fast.

Why didn't you think of that, Steve? And then their climate countdown has reached zero and they're like, it didn't happen. Fart, fart. Everyone fart a lot? I'm not looking like an idiot a hundred years off. Let's bring this number down

to ten years off. But what if aliens are delicious? I have never thought about eating. Listen, listen. The things we eat. We eat every other living thing with the exception of maybe a couple.

I don't think we eat porcupines or shit like that. Some weird stuff we don't eat. But for the most part, everything else is fair game. So why would we not? I bet you if aliens walked on four feet yeah the two you think the two is i think that's a huge thing like birds walk on two but they but walking is like a secondary thing yeah you know i think if you walk upright what if we start having congressional can we eat them

you're gonna have like groups like environmental groups that protect endangered species yeah be like don't eat the aliens they're outside picketing you got like the the you know the same people who are like doing like the cows and dairy of america or like we gotta fucking herd them up and eat them i mean when you look at an octopus that looks like a fucking alien you know so like we imagine if you saw some big bulbous thing with tentacles that was an alien. You'd be like, hmm, we should deep fry that. I bet if we chop them up into little rings and we deep fry it, it'll be like an appetizer. I'll get a round of alien for the table.

I get very annoyed with politicians who do things like to troll the other side or stuff like that. Just fucking be a politician, man. But if I was on that congressional hearing today, I'd be from Massachusetts and I'd say, what do they taste like? I do it in a southern accent. Just in case you were only playing the clip. Don't say where I'm from, but what do they taste like with a dry rub? Senator, I do ask you. Are they sweet or savory?

What did he say? The senator from Kentucky says. I'm holding my thing over my nameplate here. The senator from Kentucky is curious what they taste like. Dude, I've never thought of that. I mean, it's crazy to think that we would, you know, if they got here, they're advanced and all that sort

of shit, so in no way would we be like enslaving and herding and cooking them. But just like a one-off. Yo, because listen. Bro, first of all, if they they taste good we'll be enslaving them real fast well but i don't know i don't know we'd be able to you know what i mean we got our ways the humans perfected that shit we figured out slavery i i i think uh i would say this

just knowing the human race and and how people do it. The people who stumbled upon the dead biologic either ate it or fucked it. Somebody in the morgue or whatever was like, what do you think it feels like? And then another guy was like,

I'm pretty hungry. Got that George Foreman grill over there. Why don't we just throw a little piece on? But, yeah, like, is that even illegal? If you eat an alien, ain't no laws on that, man. Dude, it's like everything we used to do with the internet. Laws gotta catch up to us.

Right, right. We're ahead of the game right now. Takes forever in Congress Yeah, you're gonna try to pass a bill that says you can't eat aliens See you in 2055 Buddy, don't worry, I'm already full Dude, could you imagine if you were a It would be very nervous the first shit you take

Yeah, that first minute that you're like Okay, my belly feels alright But the minute that you like burp or something feels weird You're like, oh fuck I ate a poisonous alien I did it I'm gonna be the first guy to ever die from a pretty strong suspicion this is gonna happen can you imagine being like you know some what what people consider to be like some roswell new mexico crackpot who was there in the 50s and it's like oh that's old man samson

and he like all he does is sit and rock on his chair telling silly stories and then it's like i fucking told you so the ultimate i told you so is if any of this comes out and it's like not only is it all real but specifically like those things like yes there was a crash back then yeah yeah and there was you know there is all this shit that I've been telling you. They do have these weird-sized heads. They do all the stories that seem to check out, like, in different, all across the world. It's like, yeah, yeah, I want a fucking apology from all you dickheads. Between podcasts and the discovery of aliens,

for sure, we are just eradicating the mental health community. We don't need you anymore. Yeah. None of that matters. It's true. Sometimes we get a little sad stuff, we talk about it. We're good.

Sorry, therapists. The biggest threat to aliens pose is to therapists. And religious people. about it yeah we're good sorry therapists the biggest threat to the to like the biggest threat aliens pose is to therapists and and and religious people it's like you're all your priests and therapists are out because we prove you should we got a little instagram videos it convinces everyone else that this stuff's normal it's abnormal do you sometimes not make your bed right away? That's ADHD. I don't know. Again, though, I guarantee nobody really cares.

It's making a little bit of waves, but probably not. And then there's going to come a picture, and people are going to say, I want a video. And then there will be a video, and they'll say, I want it to be HD. Until they're talking to us. I'm usually a pretty good skeptic not skeptic but i was kind of always like i'll admit this one's got me i'm like pretty weird yeah so you thought you thought more so than the the ship like for some reason a living thing is different to you yeah it's not hugely different like i i believed it where i was like oh okay it's real and and so like but the fact that they this moves the it's real needle which was already in i believe you it's real

is now like okay it's it's real i don't know what that means next what's also crazy is that like it's always like the search for intelligent life because i think a lot of people even skeptics would admit that like yes somewhere in the universe is a microscopic living, you know, one-celled organism. But who cares about that? What we're talking about is there's something with, you know, brain capacity and that can manipulate the world and arms and legs or something that, like, you know, can move around. And, I mean, if it's flying a ship, it's like. I know a guy who flies an idiot. I'm in the believing. I'm not there at intelligent yeah okay that would be very funny

too though like everyone assumes if they're here that means they are super intelligent and what if it's columbus and us well that's yeah like like what if they or like what if they're you know we're really good at some things and horrible at others i don't know it's like there's definitely things that like uh like if you think about the human race it's like some of them can build like a spaceship yeah yeah and some of them are just come boys with aliens you guys got barnacles on your tank too wild, right? Like, theoretically, it could be, you know, an alien that's using...

Like, what if an idiot got a hold of a military, like, flying a ship or machinery or something like that, and that were to crash, you'd be like, this must be a genius. It's like, no, that one's stupid.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. He just, like, you know, obviously the chances of them, if they flew here and they crashed it, they probably are the smart people a genius it's like no that's stupid yeah yeah he just like you know obviously the chances of them if they flew here and they crashed it they probably are the smart people but it's like there's just such a wide array you don't assume that like every person in a race of being a species of race whatever are all going to be geniuses you know i think aliens are always portrayed as everything so advanced that they all like are on another level yeah might be a dumb alien fly to space 10 of us yeah right right like the vast majority of us are fucking morons down here jerking off on peas

it's a good point it's a fair point no no i just uh man if they catch a living one imagine a rumbloon well imagine a feeling like like how do you think they would do that imagine unveiling imagine unveiling like how do you think they would do that like there would be a press conference or something right it would take over every channel President Biden whoever bunch of presidents would be like on a panel and be like

we have in our possession like an alien biologic whatever and then what they like raise a fucking in our possession, like an alien biologic, whatever, and then what they like raise a fucking, like there's a big cage and they pull a blanket off of it and there's just an alien in there, like the fucking circus. That would be the ultimate like, this is crazy, this is so exciting, and they pull it off.

It feels weird. It feels weird now. Put them back. Send them back. All right, that was the, it was more fun in my mind. Now it really feels like something on two legs is in a cage and that makes me uncomfortable. Let him out. Sorry.

He's going to kill – let him out. I'd rather be dead than this uncomfortable. God, it's so fucking fascinating. I love this shit. I'm like pretty convinced that the past like two years has has been really more of a marketing rollout from the government. I kind of think so, too. More of a soft launch. I think they were like, we need to start to prepare them for this possibility.

So here's a website with all of the information from the Freedom of Information Act. We do have non-human materials. Here's a story. We're going to declassify the Tic Tac video to just get you guys thinking. Because if we just went boom from zero to 100, it would fuck people up. At least they're kind of thinking it now. I wonder if this guy David Grush is like an industry plant. Rather than a whistleblower, they said, okay, you middle you're an air force guy you look great you talk right you act right you're gonna be our guy that we're gonna use to roll this out that's really not that it's not i i don't know if that is what's

happening who knows what's going on right now but i think that's a very valid way that they would do it if they were like okay in the next five years we're gonna have to tell people so let's start the process now um so yeah the soft launch like that like someone's gonna go instagram official soon yeah someone's gonna make it like fbo we're gonna define we're gonna define the relationship what maybe they gave us like a hard date like yeah like by 2024 like we're by 2024 we're coming down yeah whether you like it or not so get your movies out do your fun shit

cause we're fucking coming I do love the idea that it all it all did start to tie it all back to Oppenheimer as we wrap up like some people believe

that like it was amazing phenomenal could do it could do at least two and a half interviews on it

that like the atomic bomb was kind of like Phenomenal. It could do at least two and a half interviews on it. That, like, the atomic bomb was kind of like the radar that, like, people, like, aliens were like, oh, those guys figured out, like, because, you know, like, they feel it or can see it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Whatever. And they were like, oh, another race figured out nuclear energy. That's when we know they're smart enough to go fuck with them. Yeah. Because it all started right around then.

It actually did set off a chain of events then. That was a great line. That fucking... That is so cool. I also learned... I thought it was time hops with the black and white and color. Through color is through Oppenheimer's eyes, and through black and white is through

Danny Jr.'s eyes through their perspective. It still, I think, does match a little bit with the time, but not fully. So I'm thinking back, like, when you first saw the Albert Einstein stuff, it was in black and white from the house where Robert Downey Jr. was, and then in color, it's in front of the lake

where they were talking. So it's definitely a movie that I'm going to have to go watch several times over and over and over again. All right, see you next episode. សូវាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប� Thank you.