KFC Radio - Andrea Savage, the Faceoff Proposal, and Our Meanest Voicemail Ever

Episode Date: January 10, 2019

Feits has forgetten to zip his fly at an alarming rate. Nate threw Kate's underwear in the garbage.  John tells a story about pooping and some girls left a voicemail that the guys did not take well. Afterwards, Andrea Savage (47:30) stops by to talk about I'm Sorry and how she'd have sex with Kaitlin Olson.You can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/kfcr

Hey, KFC Radio listeners, you can find every episode of KFC Radio on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. Today's episode of KFC Radio brought to you by New Amsterdam Vodka. I'm a vodka guy. That's what I do. I drink vodka. John is a whiskey guy. I get it. He wants to be tough. He wants to be cool. Vodka is, I remember in Entourage, remember when E was like, No, Seth, I drink vodka. I'm an adult.

I'm a grown man. That's how I roll. Give me some vodka. It's the most versatile drink. It's the easiest when you don't want to slug a bunch of beers. It mixes with everything. Gets the job done. Vodka.

That's where it's at. I mean, I like vodka. I don't dislike vodka. If I'm drinking vodka, I'm drinking New Amsterdam. That's for goddamn sure. But the, I'm just, you I don't dislike vodka. If I'm drinking vodka, I'm drinking New Amsterdam. That's for goddamn sure. But the, I'm just, you know, it's the winter. I'm a whiskey guy right now. Yeah, that's the thing, too.

You know, you get like a mule. A lot of the, like I'll always substitute vodka if I see anything that's, you know, even like a margarita-ish. It's like, just give me the vodka. Smooth. Tasteless. It is very smooth. You know what I mean? I would give that, yeah. Yeah, it's just like, I don't, it, it's having straight, you know what I mean? Yeah, it's just like, I don't, it gets me to the point, you know?

It's clean, it's crisp. Vodka is a year-round drink. That's what I mean. It is just, it's the, when you want to have an alcoholic beverage. You can't have tequila in the winter. It's kind of hard to have whiskey in the summer. Right. But vodka goes all year round. Vodka goes all year round. It's the of hard to have whiskey in the summer. Right. But vodka goes all year round.

It's the official drink of the NHL. It's the official vodka of Barstool Sports. You can mix it, drink it straight. New Amsterdam vodka. Be an adult. Drink year round. Get yourself some new Amsterdam vodka. We got Andrea Savage on the program today, who is, I mean, my biggest crush

in the world. She's a legend. She is. She's a legend of the game. She is. She's been in Veep. She's been in Step Brothers. She came in here. I'm not going to get too into it because we talked about it with her. But, I mean, she came in here solo but also like a bat out of hell. Oh, my God.

I mean, she almost walked out of here like with the fucking, like owning the joint. Yeah. Somebody was like, oh, she'd be great. Logan was like, she would be great as one of the hosts of the show. I was like, fuck you, Logan! I mean, she would, but she just hosts a better show. It's her own, and she writes it and stars in it and produces it and directs it.

And it's on television. So Andrew Savage from I'm Sorry sits down and fucking roasts us for a little while. So we'll get to our voicemails. Of course, this mic is just slowly tipping down. I hate this office now. Before we get to our voicemails,

every now and then, somebody comes along, takes your breath away. Somebody so swagged out. Somebody, somebody who just doesn't follow any of the fucking rules. Does whatever the fuck they want.

Can I just say something real quick? Yeah. Sorry to interrupt. I'm so much more conscious of everything now that we're on Barstool Gold and like videos and stuff like that. Oh, yeah. I was looking around to see what I got here. I mean, I took my sweater off because I was hot, but now I'm like, well, now what if I'm

like fat? Yeah, and I get the tits popping. The chunky sweats. Now I'm like out like this. I'm worried about my posture. I'm just sitting on the edge of this chair for no fucking reason. It should have been Ten dollars a fucking week Yeah a dollar a week

To make me self conscious Fucking 24-7 God damn That sucks Not 24-7 One hour Even like Yeah

Well I'm self conscious 24-7 It's just It's Hyper highlighted What's gonna happen to I'm gonna be like Like this

And someone's gonna be like You're picking your nose No it's a camera trick It's an illusion Fuck Barstool Gold man We're like this. And someone's going to be like, you're picking your nose. No, it's a camera trick. It's an illusion. Fuck Barstool Gold, man. We're not camera people, man. We're audio people.

I'm a cartoon guy. Yeah, that's what's up. Draw me. I'm a cartoon guy. Draw me like your French girls, man. Make me look good. You are a cartoon guy. You jumped into the cartoon game heavy, hard.

Yeah. The one thing I learned. People like it. People like it. People like it. I'm surprised. I'm always surprised when people like something I do. People like it. Again, I don't think it's... You like it.

That is the biggest... I don't think it's much. But I think it's because it's not because of me. I don't like what I do. I think the animation's funny. Bro, what would they animate without you? But, like, fine. Take my story.

But, like, I just... Nah, you're a storyteller a bit i was talking about the right tinge of self-loathing i was talking about today how because it is like we do put a lot of work into those which is weird to say with here where it's kind of like you know we always can just be like yeah we just do it and it does it happens but like we put like we put like two months of work into that and uh it was weird even just like kind of like how the documentary happens where you have to you have to go back and talk to today's parents like i like i

like did research like a journalist like i call my mom because there's so much stuff first of all i'm such a fucking idiot where like i talk about it happened in fifth grade but i kept calling myself seven because seven is just the age it's my default age if i'm talking about childhood i'm seven you know i'm talking about my teenage years i'm 13 i'm talking about high school i'm 16 that's just like and when you talk about when you find out santa was fake you're 21 but the uh that's just my default age like it is weird to see i'm like i'm like i'm fifth grade like the seven year old i'm not seven i still don't know what a fifth grade age is but whatever fifth grade age is as a normal age people think i was like a prodigy because i'm like what are you doing seven in fifth grade i wasn't i'm just an idiot right i'm far from a prodigy but it's like funny because i because

i still like you know you but you don't really remember things as well as particularly me my mind's gone i was actually oh i wish i'd been writing things down actually i got something to talk about the uh after this but the you know my mind's gone i for for for three months now maybe something like that i've been forgetting to zip my fly after i go to the bathroom every single time isn't that like that's got to be forgetting to zip my fly after I go to the bathroom. Every single time. Isn't that like, that's gotta be like a sign of early dementia. Every single time I do it, man.

It's crazy. Like, it's like, I don't even like joking about it. Cause I am worried about it. It's like, I've recognized the problem and I still can't fix it. Wait,

wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, It's not every single time.

No, but enough that you're concerned. Yeah. It's very often. And, uh, I really don't like, there's a reason it's been this long.

I haven't even brought it up. It's, it's concerning to me. Give me like how many times you've done this. Is it, like, two or is it, like, five? Or is it, like, 20? How many times have I done it? Oh, it's over that.

It's, like, 50, 60. Like I said, it's been going on for months. You know why? Because you're on your phone, right? You're taking a piss, you're on your phone, and you get lost in a tweet or something like that and you just let your little peesh hang out. That was an interesting article my uncle was telling me about

over Christmas. He was just like, you just can't answer me. He was like, you're fucked. Yeah, I know, but which reason? Why reason why yeah what do you know yeah and he was telling me he was reading an article about how um short-term memory and gone and the phone generation and he said it's it's basically it's basically an article written about you where it's just like he's's fucked. He's so screwed. Because everyone likes to think they're multitasking. Like, yeah, I'm watching TV and I'm doing this.

But then if you ask that person two hours later, what did you just do? Everyone's like, I have no idea. They don't remember what they did on their phone. They don't remember what they were watching on TV. Camera, zip, they're fucking taking a piss. You scroll on Twitter, you forget to zip and fly. It's like, it was a concerning. Even he was kind of concerned.

He's like, you should work on it. I came into the office today Trent said so what do you do without Twitter and it's weird it's like I just instinctually open up my phone and I'm like wait can't do it like close it back down because you can still scroll it and look at ship

when you can't like throw a punch back because that's what I got to do these days I'm like what's the fucking point so I just like sit there. You can still scroll. I couldn't even scroll. I don't think. Oh, maybe I could have.

I forget. Yeah. You can still see. Yeah. No. Well, listen. So what? I don't think so.

What? I think I think we're like I think we're like football players in the 80s right now. We're like, so what? That's what I mean. Like, yo, they had a fucking. They put a fucking shotgun in their chest. I don't want to do that. Yes, you do. No, I don't. I really don't. I always in their chest I don't want to do that yes you do No I don't I really don't I always say that

I don't want to like I don't That's another thing with social media where it's just like That's why I said my New Year's resolution is to get Healthy like mentally yeah Social media is so fucked for that for everything Just for like like like not Not just your your

Your memory and things like that, but also just like your your general mental health. Because I do think it's so useful how it's become a lifeline of sorts for people where people who had mental illnesses used to think that they're so unique and rare and weird. Oh, yeah. We all got. So now it's like, don't worry, like you're not you're OK. But it's like it's saying like you're so okay like don't even seek help yeah right and like it should be like it should be like look man like it's not all should be getting help we have it like you're like you're not you're not alone but like everyone's like oh like everyone's like this like we're not supposed to be no we're all we're all broken you're not supposed to be so like you go see a doctor this't normal. It's like humans started out just like, you know, fucking whacking two sticks together and eating and fucking banging and that's it.

Now there's too much stimulus. There's too much stimulus and there's just too much feedback. You don't need all the feedback. Yeah. Everybody's good or bad. Like just validation or, you know. But even the validation doesn't fucking matter. Like no one, no one, but no one cares about it.

No way. But like you genuinely don't. Like you will, you could have a hundred people. I've had a hundred people tell me they love that video today. matter like no one no one but no one cares about it no way but like you genuinely don't like you will you could have a hundred people i i've had a hundred people tell me they love that video today the cartoon they thought it was great hilarious if one person says they hate it all it's gonna ruin it all yeah and that's why like like it's not normal it's not healthy to put like that much like like weight onto the news ain't normal man like you just and now the social media you just know all of the bad things your brain can't't handle, like, this person died of cancer, and there's another war, and

here's a fucking biological weapon, and this is happening. You know, every time I see that there's that goddamn super gonorrhea coming and that nobody can stop it, my heart starts going. I'm like, well, we're all going to die of gonorrhea. Like, I don't need to know that. Your brain can't handle that. I always say that. Routers will tweet out

someone shot in Alabama. I don't need to know that. I don't need to know that. I can't sympathize with every dead person. I can't try to rally around every cause. Everyone thinks we live in a much more dangerous world. It's insanely safer. It is so much safer, this whole world.

We just know more. Andy Samberg had that at the golden globes that was like the one good thing they did when andy sandberg was like talking about black panther and he said that he's like ryan coolidge you know what like a couple black panthers were like hey man we couldn't even get an audition and he goes he goes just kidding they were all framed for murder and assassinated the world always has been and always will be a horrible place. It's just worse now because of our phones. It sucks, man. Ignorance is so bliss. You can take that the wrong way, but when it's

just a mass scale of just an influx of bad shit all the time, ignorance is the way to go. I would rather be ignorant to some of it. I don't need to know all of it. It's great that we need to be aware of things, raise awareness, change the bad things, but you can't change all the

bad things, so stop telling me all of the bad things. I have the happiest kid I know, one of my best friends. He lives in Chicago. When I was there for the Winter Classic, I showed him Instagram. He'd never seen Instagram. That is... It's not even something like... That's like the Aborigines

are the guys in India who are just killing people with spears. It's not something he actively avoids. He just doesn't have Instagram. I work in social media. I don't really fuck with Instagram. If I didn't work in it, I wouldn't fuck with it. I have to actively try to use Instagram. He has a Facebook, but he doesn't have Twitter. He doesn't have Instagram.

He had never seen Instagram before. I showed him Emily Radjikowski for the first time I thought he's gonna pass out it's like it's like show the fuck is this Emily Radjikowski it's like showing somebody fire and but it's like but he's like the happiest kid I know yeah he goes he doesn't fuck with all that shit it doesn't bother me just goes to work goes home watch his first take oh fucking has a few beers why don't we yeah why don't we go in on like half on a fucking farm, Chappelle style.

Let's go live in Megakota. Oh, Megakota. Yeah. North Dakota, South Dakota, joining forces for Megakota. If you don't think that's going to be the dopest place in the country, like forget about Vegas, Miami, LA, New York, Chicago, Megakota. I don't think Megakota. I don't think a name.

I guess you combine forces, Megakota, and what's the capital of those? You got to combine those. Bismarck? Bismarck. Bismarck and Montpelier? No, that's Vermont. That's Vermont. We both have Bismarck. You're smarter than us.

We'll call it Megamark. Megamark is now the capital. I mean, I guess it's kind of like anything. Cheyenne. Right? Whereas it's kind of like anything where at first I dismissed the idea that it would make it cool if you just change the name. But.

It's a brand change. Yeah. Anything you change the name of, it can be cool. Absolutely. If you grow up with some kid named fucking, I don't know. I honestly don't know. Bro, I grew up with a kid named. Timothy?

I don't know. I remember a kid named Jeff Leninger. All of a sudden he said, no, my last name is Lininger. Pierre. Pierre? So Pierre Mark. South Dakota. Pierre Mark. Done. Mega Pierre Mark. said no my last name is lining lining jerk pierre pierre so pierre mark south dakota pierre mark

done mega pierre mark that's not even a cool name change but i was like okay jeff okay you're just gonna tell me how to talk to you but it's hard it's hard for name changes we've talked about that where it's like you can't you can't i mean we hated his guts for it but i'm just saying yeah you can't be like this is what you call me now. Then I knew Andrew Schmidt, and he became AC, and he went back to Andrew. Nah, you get one, bro. You get one name change, maybe. You're not even name change material,

but I'll let it slide. Change back? No, no, no, no, no. You want to do it? We should name change. Name change is what? We can't name change. We've tried to name change. Yeah, it doesn't work. It doesn't work. Not's not allowed doesn't work not allowed too much brand equity brand equity your dumb fucking initials brand equity what a dumb buzz phrase that was hey maybe hey hey maybe we should just like call us for the boys and ride like fucking international empire. Nah, stick with KFC Radio, even though it's a podcast and not a radio.

We do have a radio show now that you're on, but that one's not KFC Radio. This is actually the KFC Podcast that we'll call KFC Radio, because some people know that name already. Should we check again, though? Because things change every six months. The policy is completely different. We don't have a name now, though. Yeah, for the boys, it's dead now, too. It's probably good to not change that one.

We probably got saved by our own self there. I'm not saying it's great, but my initials ain't changing, so we can always ride that wave. Maybe it will. Maybe I'll go Jeff Leininger on them, and I'll just change my fucking name. I could use a new identity straight up. Straight up. I need a new face. Give me and I'll just change my fucking name. I could use a new identity, straight up. Straight up. I need a new face.

Give me face off. I need a new handle. What if I just... What if that happened? What if it was just like, ah, KFC, that guy died. I wonder if that service exists. Remember the vacuum cleaner guy from Breaking Bad? But, like, could we do it...

Could you go on a vacation and completely be someone different? I don't need to... I need to reappear is what I need. I need to disappear. I need to reappear. You know? You're going to get a Phoenix be someone different? I need to reappear is what I need. I need to disappear. I need to reappear. You know? You're going to get a Phoenix hit? Yeah, I need to come.

I don't want to have to go live as a recluse and disappear. I want to come back to society as someone else. Dude, I would be the worst ever at that. I could never do that. Would you do face-off with me? No. For a little bit? What if we could turn it back?

No. You're ugly. I don't want to do it either. No, yeah. Please, please, please. You're ugly. You're like that fucking guy sliding DMs like, send me nudes, send me nudes. You bitch? No. You're ugly. I don't want to do it either. No. Please, please, please. You're ugly. You're like that fucking guy sliding DMs like, send me nudes. Send me nudes.

You bitch. No, no, no. That would be like they would take my face and they would put it on John and they'd be like, well, the bone of this nose. That's stretching out the whole kid's face. It doesn't fit. I got this big Irish head. Yeah.

You got a bucket. You have like for someone as Irish as you, you don't have the Irish head. Well, I'm Italian and Chinese, bro. That's right. My head might be Chinese. You got that slender head that fits through like Terminator style. Just like walk through things. I got a peanut head.

I'm like, I got this fucking biscuit. Your face would cover half my face. For real. You would need to double my face in half. I would just have, I look like that fucking cartoon where it's like the smiley face pulling off a little bit to just tears. That's what it would look like. My face is floating on your nose.

But I mean, I wish we could do it like for, I want to do a freaky Friday for like a Friday, one day. Um, no, I don't want to take care of kids. I was going to say, I know you don't want to do it.

I want to do it, bro. Yeah. It's a one-way street. You want to do like Ryan Reynolds, Jason Bateman thing where I end up like finding out that I'm fucking Olivia Wilde. That's basically it. Well, that's the point of that movie for me. You know what would be funny?

Who the fuck's from Olivia Wilde? Right, right. Gets a little sensitive. Who the fuck's Olivia Wilde? Even though she's a freak. It would be funny nowadays if we did Freaky Friday and it was like on a night where I, you know, didn't have the kids and it was just the same. Be like for 24 hours.

They both just sat on the couch playing with a different dick this time. And there's a treadmill to my left. Let's get to these voicemails brought to you by. Oh, by the way, speaking of name change, we didn't get to Randall. Oh, yeah. The whole reason that somebody Randall could use a name change yeah yeah uh take it he took our breath away man randy randy spacey randy spacey the most the fact i feel bad like even kind of point this out and like there's a reason i didn't bring it up in the blog because like like his their dad abused them right like that so there's clearly has something to do with what he is now.

Yeah, let's just forget that for a second and say that he's a swagged out peacock. Just talking clothes. Like, I thought that Lil Wayne stole the show, and he did. He had the throne for like 72 hours. Lil Wayne is the biggest rock star on the planet, and that's not even, people will think I'm joking. You see what the mayor of Kentucky said? Yeah, I think he was like a governor or something like that.

He's a fucking cuss. Like, you know, what could have been a great like thing ruined by a washed up has been Imagine Dragons fucking Nickelback 2.0 get out of here I mean I don't want to slander their good name I know I like Nickelback 2 but they're just Nickelback 2.0 they're just like they're like rock that's not really rock

I really like Imagine Dragons being like every single year we are going to make a song for like the NCAA tournament package. I don't think Nickelback 2.0 is a mean thing to say to somebody. Are you excited for the Greatest Showman to be Marsh Madness? Because it's going to be. Yeah. And I'm going to watch every game for that.

John's going to be the biggest college basketball fan in the world. Hugh Jackman comes in June, by the way. We're obviously going to that. What? Hugh Jackman's here in June doing the way. We're obviously going to that. What? Hugh Jackman's here in June doing the Greatest Showman Tour at MSG. Oh, well, we're going to get him here. Oh, yeah. Hugh Jackman on the show.

I'm going to get that pit bull Kelly on the case. We'll have that new office by then. We'll be right by MSG. I'll go fucking steal the guy. I don't give a shit. Think you could kidnap Hugh Jackman? Yeah, he's probably like 5'5". That is true.

I'll put him in my back pocket. But he played Wolverine. He's not. He's like 6'1". Is he? Because Wolverine in the's probably like 5'5". That is true. I'll put it in my back pocket. But he played Wolverine. He's not. He's like 6'1". Is he? Yeah. Because Wolverine in the comics is like 4'5", and they were like, you cast this guy. What? Wolverine's short? Yeah, like, very, very

short. Interesting. That's a fucking... That's a mindfuck. He, uh... Yeah, and he's Australian, so he's like fought Wolverines before and stuff like that. Yeah, he's like he's a literal... He might have the claws. He has to box kangaroos for fun. Like like when you go outside shoot hoops he goes on just fucking punches a kangaroo in the face just drinks like like guava nectar that fucks you up or some shit you know what i mean uh trick and shit from trees vegemite just all like hallucinogenic shit

and catches snakes like yp yeah he'd fuck my world eats him alive imagine that hey. Imagine that. Hey, I'm going to kidnap you, Hugh Jackman. You're dead. You're fucking dead. You fat Irish heads on the ground. Voicemails. Anyway, Randy Spacey dresses this week. The fact that Kevin Spacey is the normal Spacey is a problem for the Spacey brand. Where do you even get those?

It all has to be custom, right? I mean, it's like a cloak jacket. He's dollar store. But it's actually kind of cool to just, he doesn't have to ever think about what he's going to wear. Yeah. When I'm in the shower and I'm shampooing, wink, never shampoo.

When I'm just kind of like standing there staring at the wall, which is really a more accurate description of what my shower is. Just standing there staring. Just debating things I should have done. Why didn i trademark that i gotta why didn't i trademark this why didn't i do the uh and i'm like i'm always planning out my outfit that's that's what takes me so long in the shower i'm thinking about like what i'm gonna wear so i don't have to he just opens up the closet it's like should i wear the purple costume or the yellow one or the green one or the red one i need an ascot i need a seinfeld shirt. I need a cape. And then I'm good to go drive a limo the rest of the day.

Done. In Boise. In Boise, Idaho? Yeah. Wow. Yeah. I mean, we've seen that guy. I know Kevin Spacey was the worst kept secret in Hollywood.

But if people knew about Randy Spacey, that's gross negligence. We would have fucking locked them both up immediately. Imagine if Brandon was just sitting there like that. I'd be like, this podcast is canceled. Imagine if you knew something. I can't work with this person. you were just like hey this is my brother and i would warn everybody else don't work with him there's something happened in their childhood that that has them all fucked no way don't don't stay away from the clancy bros for sure for sure

the one seems a little off the other one's definitely off be like i gotta work with somebody guess what if you said that dick i don't know which is which. Coin flip on what I'm talking about. Just avoid both of them. I'll get Francis to co-host this so I can have a normal person. Voicemails today brought to you by Greats Brand. Greats. I've been on Greats for a while now. I was following Greats.

Greats Kicks. Yeah, Greats Kicks were, I mean, I was following them on Instagram and they had like one pair. And now they have dozens of different styles, all different prices, fancy leather, casual look. They're the first Brooklyn sneaker company.

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You can get the Worcester slip-on. That's the one I got. I got a pair of, like, veg-tan slip-ons that are going to look great for the summertime. I got them right now in anticipation for the spring and summer. Like a little top slip-on, like your van or whatever, casual Sperry's type of look. I got the Vegtan. It's going to be.

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my brother, they got the high quality Italian leather for the affordable price. And you get 15% off. So go to greats and get 15% off when you use promo code KFC. Can I have that water bottle back? Yeah. This guy's throwing shit at me. And then,

yeah, we're going to spit your shit, huh? No, I'm just going to throw it back at you again. Yeah. Cause now you're on gold. It's like, you missed the fucking broadside

of the board. Voicemails. What do we got? What's up, boys? It's your boy, Jack from Crawfordsville, Indiana. It's a little town in the middle of the Midwest. And I just wanted to ask you guys, what's it

like living on the East Coast? Is it really that great living in New York? Because I hear all kinds of people talk about how, oh my God, it's New York. You can make it here, you can make it anywhere. But then there's also like KSU saying this is the fucking worst place in the world. I'm going to throw this to you. It's full. And Fife, is it better living in Boston than New York? Yeah, just go ahead with that.

I was surprised to hear you talking about the Dakotas, though. You would, like, go to North Dakota? That's what I was saying. Dakota's going to be a whole other show, man. I couldn't do that. Because you don't think that, like, Megakota's going to get an influx of, like, everything? You can't have a Megakota that sucks.

Dude, yo, like, Megakota's going to have baller shit. The Native Americans are going to fucking kill you. I mean, Kanye made Wyoming. Yeah, heota that sucks. Dude, yo, like, megakota's gonna have baller shit. The Native Americans are gonna fucking kill you. I mean, Kanye made Wyoming seem cool. Yeah, he put that on the map, yeah. I mean, Jackson Hole was already on the map. I mean, Vegas sucks, except it's Vegas. It's the middle of a fucking desert.

You can make megakota baller. Well, when weed was illegal everywhere, I thought they should pick a city in the middle of nowhere and make that the one city. You have to go to. Like, Amsterdam of the United States. But now everybody is just doing it so it takes away from it um to answer this guy's question yeah i mean dude start walking i it's so much better here wait where's he coming from i don't know if he said the same are they indiana maybe i mean it's

not it's not what better it what? better I mean the coast get to water I don't care you don't have to come to New York if you don't want but get to water get to the nearest water okay that's fair

but that's some JFK shit JFK said you gotta have the salt water in your bank you need it you need it there's a reason why everybody settles near that shit why all the coasts are bombing

why all the coasts are booming because you need the water but I could we're talking about a point I could never live an hour away more, more than an hour away from water. That landlocked shit scares me. Like, Trent had never seen water until, like, four years ago. I took my buddy from Ohio, which is, I guess they had the lake, maybe.

Yeah, they say it's as big as the ocean. You can't see the other side. It's not the same. No, he was like, I've never seen the ocean. I brought him to the ocean. He, like, frolicked in it like a little fucking boy. I was like, this is kind of weird, to be honest. But like what you described about your boy before, like peaceful, happy.

That's like Indiana. That's Trent. That's Iowa. Those people are happy. It depends on if you're like ambitious. You're just like happy to be there. I guess actually, you know, away from the rat race, man. That is that's true.

That's interesting because I follow Jake Aspen King still used to do some new york times stuff he did like the new york times article on pft on pmt and um he i guess he's left and he's gone because he's like it's all out of his bio he quit twitter for a little while and he had kind of a thread that was like basically he was saying we need more people to say don't follow your dreams he said there's no shortage of people saying, follow your dreams. Right. Be realistic, man. I wish someone had told me, don't follow this writing gig.

He's like, you really like skateboarding. You really like surfing. You want to have a family. Find a job where you make $65,000 a year. Get a house, start a family, and fucking surf here. Yep. What's the old proverb? I heard it as the Mexican fisherman.

I think Mexican fisherman. Yeah. Where it's, you know, Mexican fisherman is, uh, by the beach, all the things that you do in the rat race.

Basically a carpetbagger, you know, a rich guy comes down and he's like, he's like, you are too. Like, these are great fish. You know,

we gotta, we gotta sell these. He's like, why would I sell them? He's like, make money. It's like, and then what happens when I make money?

He's like, you make a bigger company. He's like, and then what happens when I make a bigger company? He's like, you make a bigger company. He's like, and then what happens when I make a bigger company? He's like, you make a bigger company. And what happens when I make a bigger company? He's like, then you retire and you're broke and fish. He's like, that's what I do.

Why are you doing it? That's what I do. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I want to be the Mexican fisherman. So, yeah. But like Mexico's kind of cool. I want to be the Indiana fisherman. Well, people say entrepreneurs work 80 hours to avoid working 40 hours.

You could just work a regular job. And to be an entrepreneur or start your own company, you have to work so much harder. Like, why are you doing this? Let me tell you, boys, what this is. But I think you have to chase the dream first.

I think if you just never chase the dream and never have that what if, then I think you're miserable. I think you have to chase it and if you fail, you fail. It's fine. But I think you have to

at least chase it. Because then you'll resent everybody in your life. You're like, I fucking stayed here for you. I stayed here for this. If you at least give it a shot first, then you can be like, you life. You're like, I fucking stayed here for you. I stayed here for this. If you at least give it a shot first, then you can be like, you know what?

I don't even want this. And you can go back. If you want to have a family, you can't do any of that shit. If you what? If you want to have a family, you just got to make money. Right. You know what I mean? So you can chase your dream.

You can do all that shit. But you're going to be a Mexican fisherman by yourself. Yes. That's what I'm... But you can also be a Mexican fisherman who feeds his family with the fish. And you guys live in a small little house. Eventually those kids need more than fish.

Fucking kids. Maybe not Mexico. It's a Mexican fisherman. It's not the New York fisherman. All right, move to Mexico. I think that's the final answer. I just... I think you can follow the dream.

I think you just can't have everything. I think people's dream is like, all right, I want to be happy and also have the money and also have the family and also have free time and also have the vacation. You got to pick like two of the three or three of the four or two of the four or one of the four because you either need more money to do two of those things or you need more time to have the happiness or whatever it may be. So you got to pick what you want. Yeah. I mean, like if you're happy, I

still think if you have these aspirations and if you don't at least give it a shot, I think you will. If you have something you truly want to do, I think you should go for it. Yeah. And if you have a little bit of talent, you have an eye for it and you really feel like I can do this or should do this. If you're kind of like, I don don't even know what to do i don't think you should do that i don't

think you should chase a dream if you were not if it's like if you don't wildly unrealistic to chase the dream if you don't know what the dream is don't but if you have like yeah i really want to be a writer right and like start writing and you could do that anywhere but even like you know i think you're even your dream has to be somewhat reasonably attainable. Otherwise, I think you're like wasting your time. Well, what's an unattainable dream? I want to be a professional athlete. It's like, no, you can't.

Well, of course. You can't do it. Right, but like, you know, scale that down, and it's like, eventually there should be somebody being like, you know, you're going to be like struggling, and that will make you unhappy. So if the goal here is like do something to make you happy, chasing your dream of being a writer, if you're illiterate, is, like, don't do that.

Right, but I think we're talking about very few people in these ones. No one 24 is like, I want to be a pro athlete. I think minor league baseball, you could get caught up for a little while. I mean, they don't even make minimum wage. Minimum wage. You make, like, peanut butter sandwiches on a school bus for your whole fucking life Cancel

And run around town just telling good stories Go get a podcast about being a minor league baseball player And you'll make way more than being a minor league baseball player That's true You have a good podcast Right? Life in the minors That was my fucking thing

At Fordham Radio It was great Life in the minors? It's called Life in the minors How the other half lived. It was like a weekly feature about how fucking shitty it is to be a minor league baseball player.

What's up, KFC Radio? Just got a quick story for you. So, was on the phone with my dad and basically had a conversation and then we said bye and he thought that we had hung up, and he was still on the line. And I went to hang up and started hearing him talk, and eventually what happened was basically I found out what all my Christmas

presents were, which is interesting enough. But then he starts going in, he's with my mom, going into how they're going to have sex later that night and what they're going to do. At that point I just hung up the phone because it was uh wild um so just wanted to get you guys's take on it i know obviously i'm not gonna ask you what you do because you're not gonna do anything um which i'm not going to either just thought it was pretty funny thought you guys like kids funny right up your alley i don't know about funny. Funny's not the word. Funny's not the word.

It was funny. It was funny for us. It was funny. I guess it's a funny... Any story that's a funny story that tells a funny story. Yeah, it's like, hey, I got cocktail party material now.

It's kind of one of those things where, yeah, shitty things happen to you, but it's a funny story to tell. He has that story forever now. That's worth it. But that's much more valuable for us. It's worth it for us.

If you're just a regular- I think it's worth it for anybody. You'd sign for that as a regular guy? I know that my parents are fucking talking about it just so I can tell this to my buddies. Yeah, I guess you don't really have- That's not something you can bring up with the anabolic or the random person. I don't know. You can, but it's just like-

I guess it depends. I never realized- We haven't been quote-unquote super normal in a long time. I don't know how much, like, a normal person, like, tells a story. They tell them, but I think that they don't. I think the weird thing is most of the time it's with family. Right. Like, we tell stories all the time when I'm around my family.

That's why I like telling stories. But, like, we wouldn't tell that story. No, no. That one gets filed away in the deep dark secrets. Yeah, you take it to the grave. I just can't believe their parents out there are still fucking. I can. I know. We, you take it to the grave. I just can't believe their parents out there are still fucking. I can. I know.

We're coming from different places, bud. Still? I think the most erotic couples I know are married. Whoa. Really? I'm referencing two friends. It's really a small sample size. It's about as small as it gets.

I would take anything to happen to me and i can't i would take anything anything that i think is a good story to tell i would take do it for the story or have it done to you for the story i would have any absolutely anything i think anything's a good story but again because you can tell on a podcast and yeah spin it yeah that's what i mean for me personally right i would take absolutely yeah horrible things happen to me i'm'm like, yes. Yeah. Fucking God. Hell yes. To an extent.

Right. No, I'm 100. I mean, obviously you to an extent. Me, I'm 100% across the board. Yeah. Anything awful that happened to me, I'm like, fuck yes. Can't wait to tell that story on the podcast. Speaking of, look at that.

People are going to be curious. You saw my face right there. Shit. Speaking of. That was natural, bro. So me and Kevin, we're interviewing Kevin Hart tomorrow. Or today, as you'll have seen in this podcast. And so we went to a screener for his movie.

And me and Kevin went out, got a drink, watched the first half of the National Championship afterwards. And I told him a story about it that I just forgot. We recorded that podcast that day. I was like, how the fuck did you not tell us on the air? Right? So my roommate, who shall remain unnamed. Not even the one who's like he who must not be named the other one the other one who works here still is put two and two together

whose name i'm not gonna use so skinny guy friday night wears hats friday night i don't mean discernible skills friday night i uh i i had it i went home after work i didn't i i've talked about that where I just didn't even shower from Friday morning to Sunday night. Disgusting. And so I went home right after work Friday. And I'd been sick for a while. I think it was still just New Year's, just working its way out of me. I'd been sick. I really hadn't felt well.

And that's why going into Friday my goal for the weekend was have a salad that was my whole goal for the weekend that's in case you're wondering what it's like to not have kids like I was like what do I have to do in the next 72 hours eat a salad at one point um but so I I wasn't feeling well I was just kind of had an upset stomach just still forcing everything out and so I'm just sitting on the couch. I actually watched The Vanishing, new Gerard Butler movie. Pretty good stuff. It's a Scottish lore

about three lighthouse keepers who go, it was like an off island. Not one of those like right on the coast. So they go for six week shifts and these three lighthouse keepers went out there and never came home. And the movie's about like what the lore, what the tale is what happened to them out there interesting yeah it's pretty good stuff interesting it's actually uh it's one of gerard butler's better films aside

from you know the london olympus has fallen anyway that's beside the point so i i wasn't feeling good all night i'd been i'd been pooping here and there you know taking a poop here taking a poop there and uh and i hadn't seen him i hadn't seen him all all night and he goes back to boston a lot so i just assumed he was gone i seemed to have the house to myself and uh i mean i was just i was tearing in this bathroom i was i was really i had in the figure four leg lock just doing work and at like one o'clock in the morning i hear the click of heels and i was was like, Oh no. And I know what to do.

And like, again, I hadn't been feeling well. So when you're not feeling well, you set up like, are you moving to the bathroom? I was at base camp. I had, I had my laptop.

I wasn't even wearing pants anymore. And so I like freaked out. I didn't want to do the cough. Cause that's something you do with family. I feel like with like friends, like I'm in here. Someone's in here. I know. And our bathroom doesn't want to do the cough, because that's something you do with family, I feel like, with friends. I'm in here. Someone's in here.

And our bathroom doesn't have a lock. And so I was like, fuck, what do I do? So I just did a quick wipe and flush the toilet. But then I have my laptop, and I didn't want to go out into the hallway. Listen to this move. With just a laptop. It's embarrassing enough walking out with a newspaper or magazine. Right. I'm fucking walking out with a goddamn Netflix open on my lap.

I've been in here for hours. That's a little much. I watched season one in here. That's an aggressive way to greet somebody. So I was wearing sweatpants so I wasn't wearing sweatpants but I put sweatpants on. I put sweatpants on, closed the laptop shoved it down my stomach sweatpants over that,

t-shirt over that. And I just kind of waddled out of the bathroom with my hands over my chest so you couldn't see the fucking clear square go over my dick to my sternum. And so the guy who won't be named, being ever so conscious of what was clearly happening in there, she wanted to go to the bathroom really bad, and he's like, let me go first, let me go first. She's like, no, I really have to pee. He's like, no, let me go first,

because he wanted to scope out the scenes. Do a little reconnaissance. See what the murder was like. And guess what? It was a bloodbath. It was a fucking Dexter shit. It was a fucking storage bin full of blood with a baby sitting there. And he comes out of the living room where I'm sitting, and he's like, dude, what the fuck?

And I'm like, I don't know. I didn't know you were coming home. I thought you were back in Boston. And he's like, dude, no way anything's happening now. She's gonna be like, what do you just keep dead animals in your bathroom? I don't make me feel bad about my natural bowel movements. This sucks. I didn't want to happen either.

I thought I had the house to myself. I'm so embarrassed of my bowel movements. I haven't pooped in three days now just because I got fucking PTSD from that. It's just fucking, like yesterday I farted over by my desk and Nate started yelling at Donnie. I didn't come to Donnie's aid.

That was me. That was me who did it. And the truth shall set you free. So I'm like, I'm immediately like, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I turn off the lights in the living room, I just run to my room in case she happened to come out too. But then since I finished up so fast,

I wasn't totally done. So I'm sitting in bed just being like, oh my god, I'm still sick. I still gotta poop. This is the worst. Get me out of here. Get me out of here. And so I decide I can't use that bathroom anymore. So I run to the other

roommate's bathroom. The other one who shouldn't be named. And he's got a bathroom that connects right to bathroom anymore. So I run to the other roommate's bathroom, the other one who shouldn't be named. And he's got a bathroom that connects right to the other bedroom wall. I'm in there and it's just farts. The farts is like echoing off the bowl.

That's what it was. I was like, oh my god, this is the worst experience of my entire life. Guess what? It was five way worse than them. Clearly they can hear this. I'm trying to make it stop. I can't make it stop. It was then and then so I wake up the next morning

about 10 o'clock. Hadn't heard the door open or close yet. So I just didn't leave my room until I heard the other guest leave. I was finally like, I'm never going to see

that person again. I can finally come out of my whole fucking Dobby. Holy spree, master spree! Free with an empty stomach.

Ectocolon. Boy. So yeah. Anyway. I'm going to have to turn that one into a fucking animation. I forgot what the

question was. I don't even think we go back to that oh yeah the story the story yeah it's good to have a story alright last voicemail of the day is brought to you by

Tommy John you know the deal with Tommy John I'm wearing it right now I got my grey ones on but I have a bright red pair actually before we start sucking Tommy John's dick

I've asked on numerous occasions for a Tommy John thong. The girl's got them. The girl's got three boxes of Tommy John thongs out there. No, I checked the names. I thought maybe they sent them to me. I checked the names. No such luck.

No such luck for me. I'm still out here in my incredibly comfortable, incredibly nice, quick-fly briefs. Boxer briefs, but I want that thong. Come on, something riding up the butt. How about this move? Kate was like, where's mine? Because all the girls got some. And she was like, their boxes

were there, the underwear was there, and she was sitting over by, you know, there's that floating desk next to PFT. And she came over, she, you know, there's that floating desk next to PFT. And she came over. She's like, did anybody see like Caleb's desk, by the way? Right. Just floating because he's never there.

It was like anybody see like three pairs of underwear like in packages. And Nate was like, oh, yeah, I threw those in the garbage. She was like, you threw them out. And he was like, yeah, they were on my desk. They're not mine. I throw them out. It's like she was like, but they were like in my desk. They're not mine. I throw them out. It's like, she was like,

but they were like in the package and everything. Underwear is just strewn about. He's like, yeah, well, they weren't mine. It was on my desk. So I threw them in the garbage.

You might want to go check the garbage. She was an insane person. She was just like, oh, okay. Like, thanks for throwing my shit out. She was like,

I was really excited for those. Everyone's been raving about how comfortable they are. And he was like, yeah, you might want to go check the garbage. I was like, I was really excited for those. Everyone's been raving about how comfortable they are. He was like, yeah, you might want to go check the garbage. I was like, you are just such

a goddamn misfit. What? Who does that? Her name's on them. Where's Kate? I'll give her her underwear. Threw them in the garbage. I honestly wouldn't blame

Nate if he did that to me, but Kate's Kate. Yeah, you can't just give Kate her underwear. If it was my package, I'd be like, fuck,

whatever. We know each other well enough, I'll be like, you fucking idiot. Yeah. And that'll do that, Kate. Give Kate her underwear. If it was my package, I'd be like, fuck, whatever. We know each other well enough. I'd be like, you fucking idiot. Yeah. And that'll be that. But Kate's kind of relatively new. She's a nice person. Nice, lovely.

Give fucking Kate her goddamn underwear. So Kate gets her underwear first, then you get your thong. Jesus Christ. Yeah, if Tommy John sends me thongs, guess what? Going right to Kate. I was going to fucking grab those Call Me Daddy ones off the fucking table and sell that shit on eBay. Daddy gang. I got the daddy gang underwear.

Thousand dollars a pop. Fucking retire off that shit. Bid that up to like 10 grand. So that's I mean Tommy John all over our office. Girls, guys, they're comfortable. They got the shirts too. I got like an undershirt. I think they're called like second skin.

It really is like that. But it's not great when you have a lot of skin that you're putting that shirt into. I got an undershirt. I think they're called second skin. It really is like that. But it's not great when you have a lot of skin that you're putting that shirt into. No, because it's a good... It's not like an Under Armour. It's a nice... It's like normal, but when I put it on, it becomes Under Armour. That's a testament to me, not to Tommy John. TommyJohn.com slash KFC for 20% off your first order.

That's TJTommyJohn.com slash KFC, 20% off. first order. That's TJTommyJohn.com slash KFC, 20% off. Last voicemail. What do we got? Stop. Hey, KFC fights. Oh, they're hooking up. They're fingering each other. Yep, yep, yep.

You guys have both been super chunky lately. What the fuck? It's okay. He knows. What? You fucking knew what this was, didn't you? It's okay he knows what you fucking knew what this was didn't you okay love you anyway but there's this old picture of fights and big cat where they're like blindfolded something don't know what that's from the weight loss challenge like the ideal male body type but

my friends have a little bit of problem with the the boob situation. So we just want to know how guys get boobs like that. Just want to know. How do girls become bitches? I don't know. It just happens. The same way you get a fucking fat ass and chunky cellulite thighs. It just fucking happens. Not like we're gunning for it.

What a goddamn. Are you? What a bitch. What an asshole for playing it. Yeah, that stupid smirk on your dumb fucking face. Oh, just to randomize. I don't fucking know. Last one.

I might as well play one more here. I was mad when I thought you were going to cut it out early. God damn it. What the fuck was that? Got to knock you guys down a peg every now and then. I think I am many pegs down. I am not on a peg. I am pegless.

I got no pegs. Kev could use a peg up or two, man. I could use a thousand pegs up. If we need anything. Jesus Christ, we start the show by me being like I'm so self-conscious about being on camera. I just said how- I was like, let's play the way we get called fat as shit with a set of tits. I literally just said how I can't put a regular t-shirt on without it turning into Under Armour, and you played that.

Yeah, we needed a good knockdown, the two of us. Really, we're getting up two up on our high horse. I don't fucking know it. We were flying a little too close to the sun before this fucking lady called us. Are you goddamn kidding me? The both of you? You heard the, I have all three of you. The one in the background who was fingering her.

Yeah. The fuck is all that about? You know what? Now I'm changing that. That was probably one nice girl being like, don't do it. You're going to ruin their lives. And she was like, no, I'm gonna fucking napalm their entire existence. How does a guy get fat? That's her

question. How does a guy get fat? She said she thinks it's the ideal male body. Yeah, the one after a weight loss challenge. I'm sure it was. I was looking fucking good. He was like 25 and lost 30 pounds. He looked great. I'd been wearing a plastic bag and spitting into a cup for four weeks.

Yeah, I'm sure I look pretty goddamn good. I was miserable. Are you fucking kidding me? Yeah, that's the answer. How do I get fat? You get happy. Well, not that either. No, no.

That's why we don't need to be knocked down any pegs. Jeez. Because we're not happy. We're not happy nor good looking. That was fucking nuts. I mean, we just talked about your bucket Irish head and everything. We've been knocking ourselves down several pegs this whole episode. Yeah, it's been a KFC radio episode for about an hour now.

We've been doing this for seven fucking years. It's the same thing. Oh, yeah, I got to call these guys fat. That girl, you need to send a picture. Fat, ugly bitch. Look, what the fuck is that? I mean, I'm beside myself right now. That was rude.

Yeah, I mean, like, Jim. That was just mean. Sometimes, I mean, I know I need to get back in the gym, sure. I guess I needed to hear it, hear it I'm going right to the treadmill I might go four and a half miles Per hour instead of four today Shit My training regimen's been slacking I'll admit it

I'm no Babe Ruth but I mean God Goodness gracious Jiminy Cricket that one I want to go to the gym but you know what the problem is You don't want to go to the gym? I owe him too much money I don't feel like back paying the five months Since I got a new credit card

I feel like giving Equinox a thousand dollars Oh my god yeah I owe him like a thousand dollars You're done with Equinox They're going to send it to a bill collector We got to change our identities It all comes full circle I can never change an identity because i'll just i'm a snitch i'll drive snitch on myself yeah i'll be like yo i used to be a fucking podcaster

don't look at me like that i wasn't always a walmart creator i used to tell pope jokes on a podcast i was bigger than this people took pictures of me in the streets everyone called me up tell me told me I got to lose a couple. It was a time. It was a time. Yeah, don't fucking Nerf balls back left. Aisle seven. Just remember, John Feidelberg sent you.

Don't look at this name tag. It's John Feidelberg. That's who. My name's not really Randall Spacey. Fuck that girl. Fuck thaty. Fuck that girl. Fuck that girl. Fuck that girl. Fuck Brandon Clancy.

Fuck everybody. Fuck you too, Fidelberg. Everybody but Andrea Savage. Andrea Savage, let's do it. There's no topping that one. Andrea Savage is brought to you by Upstart. Applying for a loan, it's a lot like getting a job that you don't get to interview for. Instead, loan companies make the decisions based on your credit score and your history

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and they were like, like, John, you didn't even graduate college. Right? Yeah, but don't worry. I've been telling poop jokes on the internet for 10 years. I got it. Maybe not the best example. Maybe not the best example.

I'm just saying, you sit down with a girl, and she's judging you off. You went to school, your education, and it's like, hey, I'm like a trade i dropped out of college and i'm a day trader i make 500 grand a day maybe you should look at me currently maybe you should look at the whole package before you decide if you're going to give me that money that's what upstart does and they do it all in the form of a smarter interest rate so they go beyond your fico score they believe you're more than just that credit score. You take a, it's fast and simple.

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It only takes two minutes. You know what I'm saying? It only takes two minutes to find out. All it should take is two minutes. Yeah, right? Everybody can be efficient. You're doing it right. It only needs two minutes.

Upstart.com. Why do you turn into like a sassy black chick? Upstart.com slash KFC. I'll take that. Will I take that? I don't know. No, you don't want to be. Upstart.com slash KFC. I'll take that. He's definitely not. Will I take that? I don't know. No, you don't want

any sweet and innocent. No, God no. No, I think you're fucking gross. No woman. You don't want a woman being like, he's so sweet and innocent.

No. Maybe like a predatory woman. Like an older, like a cougar type. Yeah, like, ooh, he's so sweet and innocent. No. A cougar's gonna be like, he's fucking dirty.

I'm going to fuck him. Yeah. That's not sweet and innocent. We are here with Andrea Savage. Oh, hi. Who is our favorite. And you have just totally lived up to the hype already. Well, you were our first guest, right?

You were like. Remember you called into us from Hawaii. I did. Like, you were kind of our first guest in you were like remember you you called into us from hawaii like for like you were kind of our first guest yeah like we were like when we moved here we've been doing for like seven years you guys played it off very cool you were actually a thing why would i agree to this i still don't know why you did yeah by the way i don't know i was my first season i was just really giddy i don't know you. You're like, yeah, but like a Hawaiian vacation right now in a villa for some reason. There's like a 36 hour. That you have added. I never said I was in a villa in Hawaii.

I heard villa. Maybe by a pool. Something along those lines. Something that inspired like a beautiful view in my mind. I will say it was a nice place. I'm sorry, money going. It was like a billion hour time difference. Why is this woman calling us? Yeah, no was it was like a billion hour time difference like why is this woman calling us yeah no it was like a yeah six hour time difference um no that was level well you guys have been like such vocal supporters of the show like from early on

it's very fun it's a great I mean it's hard I don't even know how we found it because it wasn't like it's not easy to well now it's on Netflix but it's not easy it was I think I don't know someone recommended it or whatever and I watched it I texted Kevin immediately you gotta watch the show I'm sorry

it was I think it was the first episode it wasn't even the first episode was on demand but it wasn't like we didn't get to binge it

which I think a lot of people are getting to do now on Netflix but it was we had to do old school style and follow along week to week

that's crazy no you gotta like put it you gotta plug it into your DVR. Got to remember appointment TV. It's a whole hassle. Yeah, no, it's been, yeah, I don't know how, I mean, no, people found, Shrew did a really good marketing job, I will say, the first season. And it was good word of mouth.

Like it really, it was all I cannot take credit for. Like it was like fans and people who like the show just telling their friends. Well, it feels like this show is all stories that are, like, at least based in reality. Yeah. And you are kind of being yourself, right? It's a very exaggerated version of me. I mean, exaggerated, but it's not like you're playing a character that you're, like, you know, a different world. No, no.

It's still. No, it's definitely me. It's characters from my life. It's especially season one. All the stories basically based on my life. I mean, exaggerated and, you know, made it into a TV show. Basically what you wish you actually said in that moment in real life. And then sometimes what I really did.

But, yeah, I mean, I know when to shut my mouth. I'm not a weirdo. I'm much probably more mainstream and boring than most people imagine I am. I disagree. You just said fuck Fidelberg's mom. So you literally all care. We said fuck her about his mom. So let me tell you.

All right. Let me paint the picture. First of all, yeah. Don't just I mean, there's a reason I said fuck his mom. I didn't just say it for no reason. I wouldn't. I'm not an animal. She deserved it.

She deserved it. She fucking knitted him this sweater. No. She knitted him a great sweater and then he was bragging about it. Let's be honest. And then he was like-

I've been waiting all day to say that, by the way. Yeah, and it's insane. No one's asked about it yet. And by the way, we were both very impressed and we were like, oh my God, she knitted that?

Wow. And then he's like, well, it took her six months and I was like, fuck her. That's a bunch of bullshit. Well, but the whole entrance was, it was something savage. Was it? I mean, you roll off the elevator solo.

That's crazy. I know. That's fucking crazy. I did roll off solo. People of, like, no consequence come in here with, like, nine people. Like, who are you? Did you know where you were coming? No.

This is, like, the part of town where you don't you were coming? Like, this is like the part of the, like the part of town where you don't go at night and you just rolled in off the elevator. Who's going to take care of me right now? I will, I will say, I mean, I had a driver. It wasn't like, I'm not like an, you know, a disgusting animal again. No, and I, all morning and yesterday,

I was rolling with this big group, but I had a little, I had like a two-hour break in between, so I went back to my hotel, and like I told you, I slept on my face. And then I got here, and I got here a little early, and I beat Stacey here from True, and I beat my hair-making people here, so I just talked to the security guy downstairs, and I was like, I'm here for like— Oh, does he hate you?

No. He loved me. He doesn't like anybody. The here for like— Oh, does he hate you? No. He liked you? He loved me. He doesn't like anybody. Really? The guy who kind of looks like Stanley from The Office? He loved me. You are a charmer, Andrea. He came into the elevator, and he shook my hand.

He said, it's so nice to meet you. Call me, blah, blah, blah. Like, yeah, no, he was like, I'm going to let you up. Go ahead. Okay, that's how we know you don't need hair and makeup right now, because if that guy likes you, you're looking good today. Dude, when I come in— I don't think it was

how I look. It was my attitude. That's what it was. When I come in, I say good morning every morning. Never got it back. Are you serious? He's very much like Stanley where he doesn't even look up. He gives you the eyes, the heavy eyes. No, he really does look like Stanley.

When I walked in, I blanked on what I was doing here. I'm not going to lie. And he was like, do you know where you're going? And I was like, KFC? And he was like, barstool? And I was like, yes. That's where I'm going. That's what I meant.

That's what I meant. And then he was like, well, no way. And I was like, is anyone else here? But I'm going. And he's like, no. And then I chatted a little bit. And he's like, yeah, no. And I was like, is anyone else here? But I'm going. He's like, no. And then I chatted a little bit. And he's like, yeah, I'll let you go up. So then, by the way, I get in the elevator and he presses the third floor.

And your elevator opens up. Into it. Into. Into the arena. There are so many bad parts of this company. That might be the worst. You're just in the terror dome. We don't have a receptionist.

It takes your breath away. I walked out of the elevator. All these, like, dudes just turned. And look, they're're all these weird, I don't want to call them cubicle. I don't know what those benches and like cages. I don't know. And then I just had, and there's no sign. I just like walked out. Nobody's there to greet.

I was just like, hi. And then. It was very serendipitous because I don't ever look up. I make it a point. never look up for my laptop. Most people who look up are like, fuck you. Who are you? That was basically what happened. When I hear the elevator, I'm like, okay, don't have your reaction.

Just stare at your computer so you don't have to deal with whoever the fuck that is. And luckily, when you did, I was like, oh, okay, that version's for me. Perfect. Otherwise, you would have been floundering. Relax. And then she comes in here after blowing off hair and makeup, coming in with no entourage. Andrew, the tech guy, is like, here, let me hang up your jacket.

And she goes, no, we're good. And she just throws it on the floor. It's just sitting on the floor right now. It was a real half-assed attempt, though. He was like, because I was like, is there somewhere you want me to put my jacket? He's like, I could hang it up. So I was like, I'll just throw want me to put my jacket? He's like, I could hang it up. So I was like, I'll just throw it on the floor.

It was like, okay, I'll throw it on the floor. I don't give a shit. It's like a puffy coat. It's not like a nice like whatever. I'll just put it on the ground where people walk. By the way, I changed my clothes earlier. I was in heels and a whole thing. Now I'm in a t-shirt, sweatshirt.

Need a t-shirt because it's a thousand degrees. It's so hot in here, which, like I said before, is great for comedy. So thank you. Thank you. This place sucks. Yeah, the hottest possible room just really makes everyone. So we're basically like we put you like in Guantanamo Bay. We come in here.

We crank the heat up. We treat you like shit. We throw your stuff on the ground. We're going to waterboard you later. By the way, bring it on. Fuck you. I will fucking take on the ground. We're going to waterboard you later. By the way, bring it on. Fuck you. I will fucking take you all down. So when

we talked the first time, we mentioned how you've been in so many things that our crowd loves. Thank you. And so we wanted to play marry, fuck, kill with you. Oh shit, yeah. Let's do it. Veep. Wait, a show? I have to marry, fuck, or kill a shit? I's do it veep wait a show i have to marry fuck or kill a shit i have to fuck the show of veep that's a show like okay well we'll break it down a little more

like can you give me a person no no no no you don't actually fuck you're marrying anybody it's like the show you keep forever and then one show you get to watch occasionally and then one show you never get to watch again you don't't actually, there's no actual intercourse. It's just a turn of phrase. All right. You're like disappointed. Okay. So what show do I want to watch myself in?

What am I good with seeing once? When do I never want to see myself in again? There you go. Well, then call it that. That's a mouthful. So? Fuck, marry, kill. I'm like, ooh, here we go.

All right. All right. We will have to look up Some men in Hollywood For you to fuck By the way How Why

It's just only I'm assuming Actually well There was one I was gonna do yesterday It was Sweet D from Always Sunny Elaine from Seinfeld By the way

Caitlin a very close friend of mine Is she? She is She's the best Would you fuck her? How close are you? I If I By the way You Would you fuck her? How close are you? I, if I By the way,

Well, by the way, if I was a lesbian, if that was my cup of tea, which it's not, not for me, um, she's a very attractive, funny, delightful woman. So, so, so, so, Caitlin Olsen. I would make love to my friend Caitlin. Uh, Pam Beasley from The Office. Okay. And

Julia Louis-Dreyfus as Elaine. I'm not going to lie. I know all three of these ladies. What a flash. Shit. Look at me. So I could have any of them in my bed. No.

So now this is really tough for you. See, you wanted the fucking, you asked for it. Now you got it. By the way, what about the way I'm sitting? Does this look tough for me? I'm just saying. You were like, let's play fuck, marry, fuck, kill. And now you're going to have to kill one of your friends.

All right. Pam Beasley. Bye-bye. See ya. Bye. Not that good of a friend. I'm not killing Caitlyn or Julia. Sorry.

All right. There's your answer. Yeah. I would definitely marry Julia, but I'd fuck Caitlyn. Yeah. I mean. They're fantastic aunts. I think I would do that, by the way. That would be my answer. By the way. I mean, I think I would do that,

by the way. That would be my answer. I mean, Julia, I mean, come on. She's everything. You want to spend your life with her.

Yeah. I'm not sponge worthy, but I get it. I would like to at least make the pitch to her. Yeah. Give me a shot. Get down on a knee. See what she says.

I feel like that was a very clear, clear cut. Okay. So here we go. Veep stepbrothers. I feel like that was a very clear cut. Okay, so here we go. Veep, stepbrothers, I'm sorry. Well, obviously, I'm sorry. I'm going to marry. That wasn't obvious. I mean, I'm in it for the long haul with her.

Let's see. Who do I want to kill? Oh, boy. I mean, Veep is... And now, and also to consider here for this, you're also going to have to, if you kill it, people will know you killed it, and you'll have to face the onslaught from the fans. It's deep here. Who, like, who, what fans are you more scared of?

You don't want, like, a stepbrother, like, cult coming at you. That's true. But Stepbrothers was so long ago. That's true, and you don't even think about them anymore. It's like your grandfather, like, time to go, bro. But Will and Adam, like, they're producers on my show. Now you're killing them. I can already tell you're going to kill them.

You already answered it. Full trigger. I mean, again, you don't kill Julia. Can't do it. You can't do it. You can't kill Julia. No, that's not bad. All right.

I make love to Veep. And you know what? Step Brothers, we had a good run, but now you're dead. So who don't you know? I feel like you just know everybody. I feel like you're one of those people. I don't know a thousand people, but I'm funny ladies. I mean, everybody we've said so far.

Funny ladies. I know a lot of them. You worked with Kate Beckinsale before, right? Yes. She is. She was one of the first people I ever directed in a Funny or Die video. Republicans Get My Vagina. Republicans Get My Vagina. Republicans Get My Vagina.

It was Judy Greer, Kate Beckinsale, myself, and I directed that. And I didn't know Kate, and I had written her a letter and just wrote her the script. We had the same agent. You wrote her a letter? And I just wrote her like a little letter. Like a hand letter? Or an email? No, an email.

Okay, well, then you wrote a letter. I wrote her a letter. I wrote her a letter. A letter is handwritten. That's like you got out like a quill and you like dipped it in ink and you wrote in calligraphy.

And I sprayed my perfume on it. Yeah. Sealed it with the wax and all that shit. Come get in my vagina video. No, I wrote her a very nice email and she read it

and responded right away. She's like, I'm in. She's awesome. Which is great. And then Judy. You see what she was up to after the Golden Globes? No. She went home with Pete then Judy. You see what she was up to after the Golden Globes? No.

She went home with Pete Davidson. Are you serious? Yeah. What a reaction. It was, she was seen. Okay. Like, let me, let me, let me, let me change my reaction. She was seen sipping a Moet with him all night and then they skirted off together and like

hopped in an Uber together. All right. I'm. Come on. I'm going to sit with that. I'm not a no comment. You're going to throw us a no comment? Uh-huh.

Oh, my God. I might have to kick you off the show. Fine. You can't no comment your way out of something. 100% can. Okay, let me just fucking repraise. Do you think that that happened because of what Ariana Grande has said about Pete Davidson? Do you think that would have an influence?

Ariana Grande run around being like, Pete Davidson has a big dick, big dick energy. Did she say that? Oh yeah. So you've been under a rock. By the way, no, for two and a half years I have legitimately been under a rock. It's a long time. The fact that I know Pete Davidson and Ariana Grande were even a couple. That's impressive.

Because I think it started and finished within less than a season of my show. I mean, I know Kate. I'm just saying, why is Kate Beckett still going over Pete Davidson? That's crazy. You don't know what happened. Because he doesn't look sweet and innocent, that's why. No, that's so true. Pete Davidson's got that blue hair, white hair.

I don't know what color it is. She's divorced. And you know I have a divorcee fantasy. So, and you know what I mean? So she's just living her life. For real. Right? I mean.

I mean, if you're going to get divorced, live, I mean, live your life. Talk to him. Yeah. Talk to him, Andrea. He's got the famously big penis right now. He's, it's like him and Johnny Sins. Really?

I did not know this. When they were dating, she would tweet it all the time. She had a song called Pete Davidson and someone tweeted her, how long is Pete Davidson? Meaning the song. And she said about nine inches. You know what that might take? I'm just so surprised it didn't work out.

You know what I mean? I just feel like it was just really deep. And it just feels like they took their time. It felt like they really thought it through. And it was based on a lot of really, really deep, serious, serious feelings that could definitely stand the test of time as someone who's been married for 12 years. It's easy. I almost feel like it was such a reactionary engagement where it was like Pete Davidson was seen two days after they went on their first date with an Ariana Grande tattoo. And everyone's like,

dude, that's fast. And he's like, no, no, it's cool. We're engaged. You're allowed to. Once you're engaged, you're good. You can get inked up. All these things are forever. Okay.

You know what? You really took me aback with that news. You wanted to play the game. If you're on Barstool Gold, you saw it on video. Yeah, you saw that face. She didn't know what to do.

No. You mentioned that most of these things were rooted in reality, at least for this first season. Yeah. And that episode with your father

asking for a boudoir portrait. Is that real? For his central photography wall? Yep. No. Was it real?

That's like fully real? Mm-hmm. You? Me? Like, yeah, you you know sometimes it's you know you take it from someone else not exaggerated nope that's impossible you were like dad i'm gonna hang up this phone call never happened this is the thing is i like to say like it makes it sound it makes my dad sound so creepy or something. He really was like, I'm trying to celebrate the beauty of women in our family. He has gone through some life changes in terms of he went through a period. It's now, I think, over where he was partying real, real hard. No.

In his early 70s. And clubbing and going out. Drying real, real hard. No. In his early 70s. And clubbing and going out. Drinking wine at 10am. Drinking wine. Having substances. Living. Living his life. And really getting in touch with some more sensual sides of himself, I guess.

And, um, things. It was... I mean, we're talking real sensual if you're requesting women in your family to take boudoir photos. My dad is not creepy. He was... I mean, we're talking real sensual if you're requesting women in your family to take boudoir photos. My dad is not creepy. It was not in any way was he like, I want to see my daughter. It was more like... The art. Well, he started it with

you know how I'm turning the front of my house into a club? And I was like, no. I did not know that was happening. We'll just skip past that. Yeah, sure. File that away. And then he said, well, I'm looking to do some, you know, to decorate.

And I want to put up some sensual photography. Do you have any boudoir photos you'd be comfortable sharing? And I just was like, what? And I said, no, you know, it's not for me. And tried to just sort of move along. And he really wouldn't let it go. He was like, you know, his girlfriend is doing it in her family and this and that and it's you know i just want to you know celebrate our family as well i'm going to be asking your aunt and your cousins i was like i

can't wait to hear how that goes um and then he just fixated he thought it was the cost of framing that was holding me back and um he was like, I know framing is expensive. I'll take care of it. And I was like, Dad, it just isn't for me. Thank you so much for thinking of me. But no. And I said, whatever. And he let it go.

But he did end up putting one picture of me on the wall of me and my aunt, my cousin, just like at a wedding, smiling in the middle of the central photography wall, like I do on the show, which is me and my mom. But I haven't been to his house actually that recently, but I did hear that since the show came out that the wall has been taken down. Oh, wow. You shamed him out of it? I was going to ask how family members react to being used like that.

Because we tell a lot of stories here. And my dad texted me once where he was on a boat. And some girl who listens to us went up to him. His dad's hot, by the way. Your dad's hot? Yeah, big time. People claim he's attractive. Let me see a picture.

No. Yeah, no, definitely. Definitely. You just claimed his dad? I didn't claim shit. He's got like this old man. Yeah, you did. He did. He brought it up.

You backed it up. I said people say that. And then, but you went, yeah, my dad's hot. I want people to say that. Play back the tape. You think I can really Google it? It'll pop up? Yeah.

You got pictures of your dad on your phone. Just pull it up Yeah. You've got pictures of your dad on your phone. Just pull it up. I do not have pictures of my dad on my phone. I can't wait until we pull it up and then you go, eh, that's not it. Hey, show her a better one. Show her a better one. No, he looks better than that. No, someone came up to him.

He was on a boat and some girl came up to him and she was like, why did you leave John alone on Christmas when he was a kid? And that's like a longer story. But he was like, he texted me, he's like, why the fuck are people texting me asking if, like, I left you alone? Like, why, asking why I left you alone? I left you alone because I had to go to a party. But, like,

why do they know about it? And it's like, sometimes they get upset about it. Your family. That's a handsome man. He's got, like, a rugged look to him. Yeah. I mean, he's a handsome man. He's got like a rugged look to him. I'm not going to go crazy. I like that response. Well, it's more just that he's hotter than John.

Okay. That's usually what it is. It's like, hey, John, your dad's hotter than you. That sort of thing. I get it. Yeah. Yeah, yeah.

John, you're very sweet. Thank you. The fuck off. You're so cute. I had to thank you in the chamber. Yeah, you thanked me. You walked right into that one. Yeah, you sure did.

You know, does that sweet boys do that? Sweet cute boys say thank you. Sweet cute boys are already ready to say thank you. The manners are just so good. This podcast stinks. I will tell you, I will tell you about me. I've always liked sweet, nice boys. I've actually never been attracted to the bad boy, ever.

So nice guys don't finish last. No, not with me. No. I've always liked funny guys who have an edge, that kind of thing. But I've never liked the bad guy. I've never been into someone who treats me like shit. See, that's all. I'm very into the bad guy.

I was going to okay andrea is way too well adjusted for for you john and i'm happily married well i wasn't a pitch i was just saying i like back girls i wasn't getting uncomfortable i don't feel safe i'm in my mom's sweater you're telling me i'm gonna grab my jacket off the floor. Dust this thing off. Dust this thing off. Awkwardly make myself over to the elevator past all the cages. Get out of here. Talk to Stanley downstairs. Would your dad have put the treadmill video up you on the sensual photography board?

No. No, he wanted, you know, like artistic. He wasn't looking for like penthouse. He was looking for like artistic. I don't know. Did any relatives give it? On our side of the family? Yeah.

No. No. Thank God. Hard pass. Hard pass. Thank God. But yeah, no, my dad definitely went through a little bit of a phase. I thought that answer was going to be like, no, I don't know. He asked me for like a funny picture and like I tweaked the story.

That was 100% true. Oh, what about the porn star that your kid went to school with? 100% true. Who was it? I cannot say. I will get sued. I cannot say. Can you tell us off air?

Yeah. Okay. Nice. I'll take that. Fuck you guys. It doesn't matter. I just want to know. Yeah.

Yeah. True, true story. But different in that I knew for almost a year and a half and did not tell anybody at the school. Oh, wow. You're a good one. You're a real one. Snitches get stitches. I found out playing poker and this guy that I – I was playing poker. And, like, I did on the show.

And this guy, this friend of mine is in real estate. And he was like, oh, my God, this woman I work with in real estate, I just found out, he said her name that she changed it to, is like this anal porn star. Oh, it's ****. Yeah. Yep. I have no idea. I mean, as soon as you said that

real estate agent, I'm like, oh yeah, obviously. Everyone knows. I don't think so. That was the easiest case of all time. I was like, am I going to say it? Is he going to say it? Is someone going to say it? Because everyone knows the answer.

I'm just saying. In the show. She goes hard. She does not hold back. Did not hold back. For a year and a half, I truly became obsessed with her butthole. I couldn't be a mature person about it. And I told no one.

My husband knew. And I would just be like, what is it like? Like, what condition? Like, what are we talking about? What condition? What condition is it in? And I was sort of like just more scientific. It's just like, what are the side effects of this long-term damage?

I remember, actually, I have an intrigue such as yourself, a little different as well, but also that way. And it was, I forget what the porn star's name is. I was reading an interview with her, and she's blonde. I forget her name. Oh, we really never met that now. Oh, she's a porn star's blonde? The blonde who does stuff with her butt?

The blonde one who does a lot of stuff with her butt. Sunflower? It was an interview with her, and she was like, it was an interview with her. And she was like, it was almost like someone was talking to a football player who was like, yeah, no, I know I have CTE. It's cool. She was like, no, I know when I'm like 60 I'll need to wear a diaper. That's, and I will tell you, we were on a field trip one day with the kids.

We were at the science museum. And she. She should be in the science museum. By the way, this was the other problem is on my side, there was like conversations. She's in the science museum. She should be in the science museum. By the way, this was the other problem. On my side, there was conversations filled with double entendre. Oh, my God. A million jokes. But not on her side.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. So you were just trying to subtly let her know? No, I didn't want to let her know. But she would say stuff to me that I'd be like, oof, oh, God. That's hard for me to hear because I'm taking it in such a way. But she didn't know that I knew, so I never said anything. But inside, I was like, oh, that really that's hard for me to hear because I'm taking in such a way. But she didn't know that I knew. So I never said anything. But inside I was like, oh, boy.

So and she had a handicap placard on her car. And so that's where it came from in the show, because we were at a birthday party and she parked right in front of the gate. Like and my husband's like, who the fuck parked there? They're blocking the whole entrance. And I was like, you know whose car that is? And he was like,

what? And I was like, he's like, it's got a handicapped car. It's not hers. I was like, that's her car. Can you fuck yourself handicapped?

Yes. In your butt? Yeah. Yeah, that's literally happened. Yes. You get done whole fault. I talked about this on the show.

I don't know why this is such a surprise. You claim you're a fan I know but again when you find out these things Are just dead ass real you're like oh it's based In reality no it's the fucking story it's not based In reality it fucking happened For example I have never

Been on a treadmill pantsless That is made up I don't enjoy being Pantsless at home that is not a comfortable Thing that's made up When you went back to the hotel, I guess you changed. But if you go home, like, later, are you going to stay in jeans or are you going to change into sweatpants? I'll usually stay in jeans. Boo!

It's been a big fight. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You two are, like, on the wrong side of history, by the way. It's, like, a billion people to two now. All right. I'm fine with that. All right. I would, if it was just two people, I would want Andrew Savage in the foxhole, though.

So you do have that going for you, but it's still heavy in my favor here. So there are certain things that are real, but like there's a lot of stuff that is not real as well. But again, the really fucking messed up ones so far have been the asshole ice cubes. Yeah. We had Jason in here recently and he was talking about that. Oh, he did? Yeah.

Yeah, yeah. Jason's a good friend of mine. Ice Cubes is real. Ice Cubes. Ice Cubes, porn star, anal queen. Ice Cubes, porn star, anal queen. A lot of stuff from the first season. Racism, that was all real. I was that as a kid.

I was like the— Every kid. You notice it as a kid, and no one talks about it. Right. And every parent I know is like, it doesn't matter what race they are, they're like, oh, I went through this with my kids. I ran across a mall and the black kid said it was a chocolate person. It's not, and it sucks.

And it feels really shitty. I mean, it's really bad. It's not good. I'm not a racist. I was a child. And that's the thing is like that I wanted to show, like it's so innocent. It's noticing differences in color

and it's good because it gets you talking and it gets conversations going. But that was all real. Yeah, my dad's stuff was real. My mom really feeds Leon in bed. And his name's Leon. That's better. That's better than the food being real. Are you worried at all about, like, I kind of told my best stories?

Or you got a whole well-known? No. Sucks. I'm a shell of a woman. Truly, especially the first season. I was like, well, I've got nothing left to say.

Second season was harder. Second season. There's a lot more of our other writers stories integrated with mine. And now I'm like, well, now I literally have nothing to say. So, um,

it's been a good run. It's been a good run. Thank you all for having me. I will bid you all adieu are you are you like how i don't know what i was gonna say i honestly lost my train of thought you are great i was i was gonna try and like play it off but i was like you know what i lost my fucking train of thought whatever at least you pulled the record i feel like we're like we're close up now like if i'm talking to kevin i'll be like you know what i forgot i was gonna say story's gonna to stink anyway.

Just call it. We're calling it. Your dad's good looking. You don't need a story. Your mom makes sweaters. Your dad's hot. It takes her a while. You pour her with a silver spoon, bro.

It takes her a while to make a sweater. When the biggest problem in your life is that your mom takes six months to make a knit sweater. The biggest problem in my life right now is that I forgot that story. I'll tell you what. I'm panicking inside. You should do an episode, actually, if you need one for season three of Kevin's current living situation because it's the saddest thing. I feel like I need to get you both a little drunk, take you out. You don't even need to get us drunk.

What are you doing after this? There's a bar right across the street we always go to. I don't want you to remember that you told me. Yeah. No, I need stories. So, guys, let's go. Kevin lives in an unfurnished house with a treadmill in front of a TV that he just walks on. Okay, well, how, again, I feel like you think my show is different, that you think-

You can make that funny. You're supposed to be a funny person. Make it funny. Well, you've met me. It's all bullshit. You're very funny. You're, like, even funnier than I expected. It's uncomfortably funny.

How could I be- I mean, you should have fucking been ready. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, I knew how funny she was. I'm good. We're good. Thank you. It's Andrea Savage. The show is I'm Sorry.

It's on TruTV. It dropped yesterday, right? Or it only dropped when this is going to air. When is this? What day are we in? This year is Thursday. Yeah, it dropped yesterday. Yeah, season two dropped.

It's on TruTV. Cannot co-sign it enough. That show and Brockmire on IFC are the two shows that's like, we like a lot of shows. We tell people we watch a lot of shows. But those two shows, I was like, these are the real ones. Do you have any shows you're watching right now, by the way? Again, I've been under rock for two and a half years. I have seen nothing.

I think the only thing I watched was Kroll's Big Mouth. Oh, Big Mouth was awesome. Yeah. We had Kroll. Yeah, we interviewed him. Kroll's? Yeah, we interviewed him. Yeah, he was him. Yeah,

he was awesome. Krolsies. Krolsies. Krolsies. All right, thank you very much. Awesome. All right,

big thanks to Andrea Savage for coming through, sitting with us. She's way above us. Smarter, prettier, more successful. I'm like,

it's one of those like, why don't you agree to this? Yeah. Yeah, I mean, she kept being just like, you guys like my show. It's kind of really it. It was honestly, that was't you agree to this? Yeah. She kept being just like, you guys like my show. It's kind of really it.

Honestly, that was it. She's been supportive since day one. It was not like, we like you. You're funny. We were make-a-wish. We made the wish first. It's already a very successful show. But we were the first ones to make a wish with Andrew Savage. Pretty much.

Thank you for granting our wish, Andrew. That interview was brought to you by Felix Gray. This says you don't realize it, that you look at the screen 11 hours a day. I do realize it. Everything we just talked about. 11 is like way under. It's so. I mean, however many hours I'm awake, knock like 45 minutes off that.

Because sometimes your eyes are elsewhere. That's just breakage. No, it's just podcast. Yeah, right. The only time we're just, and even that, I'm always kind of checking and shit. I'm staring at it like 18 hours a day. My eyeballs are just going to fall out of my head.

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We mentioned it before. Lil Wayne is the greatest rock star on the planet. I genuinely believe that. When he came out, I rewound the TV four times. When he came out. It's so funny watching the reaction because I was, I think I was on my way back from the bar. I don't think I saw that live. See, I got there.

I got there. No, actually, I got there with a minute 38 to go in the second quarter. I was hoping to get home by the end of half. Yeah. I got there with a minute 38 to go in the second quarter. Yeah. So I missed it. And the reaction was like, this is trash.

Like, who is this fucking homeless person? And then, like, you and a couple other people were like, that was awesome. And I was like, I think I know who I side with here. How can you look at that and not at least laugh? Like, I can get it. It's not your style of music, whatever. But can't you at least be like, whoa, that was something. your style of music whatever but can't you at least be like whoa

that was something I've never seen that before there's something you know what do you want just another guy to come out there and fucking just

rap and whatever it's like he looked like fucking E.T. coming out of the closet trying to dress like a human like a rascal like a little rascal

like he came out like I put on like mommy look at him in your clothes and he is so like small and like people like I genuinely believe this.

People say rock and roll is dead. It is not. It is just a different form. It is embodied in Lil Wayne. Lil Wayne is the biggest. And you know what? I read your blog. You know what really sold it for me is that he's died five times.

He's died four or five times. Ben Prudence is dead by TMZ. Died on airplanes. Had heart attacks on airplanes. Died. Died OD'd on codeine syrup. Died on airplanes. Had heart attacks on airplanes. Died. Right. Died OD'd on codeine syrup. Died. Dead. Drunk on lean 24-7.

Look, I'm not saying it was a good performance. You couldn't understand the goddamn word he said. No, but that's rock and roll, baby. He doesn't write any of his shit down. He just spits it. In his prime, he was fucking awesome. People talk about how Bowie could always reinvent himself all the time, right? Bowie could just change genres and he he was just genre-shifting.

Lil Wayne's gone from rap to rock to pop to pop rap to a goddamn motherfucking skateboarder, and now he's a rapper again. I watched him at the Nassau fucking Coliseum, the worst goddamn concert I've ever been to. He pulled out a guitar and fake played that guitar, and it was awesome. Dude, we went to a concert once. He didn't show up at the concert. Rock star. We went to the bar after the show.

He was at the bar. Like, wait, what are you doing here? Oh, wow. I mean, that's rock star. He was at the bar. Like, bro, you shouldn't. We all just left your show because you didn't come. You're already.

You beat us to the bar. And if you actually got a chance to, like, talk to him, he would have just been like, yeah, you know, sorry. He's Katie. I'm a gangster. If you say that to Katie Couric, when he was on Ellen with Chance and fucking 2 Chainz, like on Ellen, fucking just spitting whatever he wants. Dude, his fucking, you've seen like the interrogation video?

When he's just like, basically telling the cops to go suck their own dicks? He's fucking, he's a rock star. Oh, and by the way, he started when he was like 12. Yeah. Younger than that, I think. Shot himself, like 12 yeah shot himself I believe shot himself in the stomach come on I think he was taking his gun out of his backpack

what more do you need for him to be a rock and roll star other than be white the one thing he can't do for you guys someone responded with a picture of Dave Grohl Dave Grohl's like the nicest guy

in the world he's not a rock star get the fuck out of here Lil Wayne is the biggest rock star on planet earth and I genuinely truly believe him and I really believe It has been for a while and will be until he dies, which is probably never going to happen

because he's going to be like Keith Richards. First barrier of entry to become a rock star is you have to have died and resurrected. Yeah. So there's really only a couple on the planet Earth then in my mind. So that's true rock star shit. So today we're wrapping up with KFC Radio Karaoke. The greatest rock star on the planet brought to you by Dollar Shave Club. Everything

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I got to prop myself up by putting you down, bro. You get five bucks off Dollar Shave Club dot com slash KFC. Lil Wayne takes us out on a little KFC radio karaoke. What a time to be alive. Made to late 2000s. A little hard to sing along with. A little bit difficult.

Privacy of your own car, maybe. Not on Barstool Gold. I'm going edited version going, bitches. Listen, last week I would have been letting it rip. Barstool Gold, just going to sit here with my mouth perfectly still. Nobody cares if you're in a karaoke like you play fights. Cause when a wolf cry wolf You still see that wolf teeth Motherfucka If you act foul you get two shots And one I met your face like man come

You niggas softening Roseanne son You cannot reach me on my Samsung I'm busy fucking the world and giving the universe My damn tongue Crazy motherfucker I am one But the world and giving the universe my damn tongue. Crazy motherfucker, I am one. But the crazy thing is, I began one. I'll bite bricks.

I'm straight like it's jumping back to 36. The big house. All right, I'm going to roll. Adios. Oh, God.