KFC Radio - Anthony Mackie | Stone Cold Steve Austin | Therapy Sparring Session

Episode Date: January 14, 2021

Subscribe, Rate, and Leave a Review! -Update on the bodybuilder who we talked about that married his sex doll is now cheating on her -Another body builder had a freak accident after falling down a spiral staircase -KFC designs the new Modern Home -Updates on the Armie Hammer allegations of cannibalism -AITA Thursday -Voicemails (01:37:30) Anthony Mackie joins the show. We chop it up with Anthony about how New Yorkers need to get out of New Orleans, how his Juliard training became useful joining the Avengers, the thrill of starring in action movies, Will Smith punching him in the face, the iconic scenes of 8 Mile, Captain America, and much more. (02:10:45) Stone Cold Steve Austin returns to the show! We talk about his new season of Straight Up with Steve Austin and how much fun it was to hang out with Bert Kreischer. We discuss his transition out of wrestling and into entertainment, the infamous Rock and Mankind chair match, Jake Paul attempting to bait Conor McGregor into a fight, and much more. Let us know what you think on twitter: @KFCRadio @KFCBarstool @Feitsbarstool @AnthonyMackie @SteveAustinBSR Subscribe to the KFC Radio Youtube Channel for the full podcast: www.youtube.com/c/kfcradio Subscribe to the KFC Radio Clips Youtube Channel for the best clips: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCspldj_2KhBix7eVxe2H8xg If you've read to this point, let me know on twitter @nickhammy. I'm genuinely curious.You can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/kfcr

Hey, KFC Radio listeners, you can find every episode of KFC Radio on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. I knew a girl in high school once who, I don't know if this is ever a medically diagnosed thing, a diagnosable thing, but she said she just could not control impulses. I think she's just excusing being kind of an asshole. And she's like, brilliant. She's like,

that girl is brilliant. It's another edition of KFC Radio on the Barstool Sports Network. And you know me. You know I believe that deep down that everything in life boils. It all comes back to like you're all just looking for love. Just chasing sex, chasing a relationship, chasing a marriage. Everything you do, it all comes back to that. And so when I see someone that finds – I'm going to one-up you.

Yeah? I think you're all just looking for peace. And sometimes that's love. Sometimes it's love. Yeah. Yeah, you know what it is? It's – I think everybody in life is looking for love. And when I say love, I'm being more – you're looking to fuck and you're looking to have like some companionship and all that. And then you for love. And when I say love, I'm being more, you know, you're looking to fuck and you're looking to have

some companionship and all that. And then you find love. And if it goes well, fine. If it goes bad, then all you're looking for is peace. And then you want no part of love. I tried the regular thing. I think silence might be my thing. Because the grass is always greener.

I just mean peace. Acceptance, really, is what we're talking about. Acceptance, I think, is what about. Acceptance I think is, what is it? Like that's the first, second, whatever step of like all these programs. It should,

it's, it's like the, it's, that's the first step of the program of life. Just accept how it goes. It's just, it is how it is. And it's one thing to say that,

you know, this is another thing I've learned is like you can learn, you can go to therapy, you can read the books, you can learn the phrases, you can learn the psychology can go to therapy. You can read the books. You can learn the phrases. You can learn the psychology behind it all. And you can say these things. And you can even like put them into practice.

But it's to truly do it is the thing. I think I've found one of the most accepting, one of the people who's accepted their station in life. And not their station in life. I mean, I have too. It's you. I'm one. Yeah. No, it's's this woman i forget the name of the restaurant i walk by every day and as long as it's after 10 a.m she's there and as long as before 4 p.m she's there and she's always just sitting there drinking martini like 95 years old old as hell well that sounds particularly enjoyable so yeah i'd be at

peace too with like a book or a newspaper. Husband's probably dead. Yeah. Not interested in anybody else. No, doesn't want a new person. Just a nice fucking Gibson martini. Always say the onions, not the olives. Wow, those are like hardcore. That's the better one.

You know, like when I say like I drink martinis, it's like it's espresso martinis. Those are adult milkshakes. And when people get, you know, appletinis and they get this martini, that martini, you ain't a martini drinker. You're a martini drinker when it's a cup of fucking gin, when it's got onions in it. The onions are fucking good. Those onions are really good. I don't know about that.

I don't know if that's for me. Or like the stuffed blue cheese olives. I get down with those, too. I don't like olives, but, you know, if you get me some blue cheese. Yeah, it's like anything. I don't like it unless you put something awesome in it. Yeah, unless you garnish it with food. You know who's a big time acceptance guy?

The raccoon whisperer. Yeah. I talked about him on my other podcast. I said, all I'm looking for is my raccoons in life. Like, he's just, every day at 4 p.m., he feeds the raccoons. And that's all he has. And he wakes up for that in the morning and prepares for that and does that. I'd argue I have my raccoons. What's your raccoons?

Yeah. Like 5 o'clock, 6 o'clock, TV time. Yeah. Go to bed. Yeah. I have my raccoons again. My raccoons are fucking talented. Yeah.

His raccoons like to eat. My raccoons got fucking skill. My entertainment. Yeah. I mean, television is undoubtedly the most important thing in the world when you really think about it. I don't think that's an exaggeration. No.

I mean, like, there's... Nope, nope. Whatever you're about to say. You could do this, you could do that. Right, okay. We've done, like, the top fives before. And yes, you're right. Air conditioning and the elevator, the car.

Like, there are certain things that we need. But as far as, like, okay, basic... They're not basic. Basic modern life things you know like yeah cavemen and shit wouldn't call a car or an elevator air conditioning basic it's like the biggest luxury in the world but these things are like standard for us the next the next level of like entertaining and giving us a level like something to do and all that i mean it's tv and it's by far the most important thing in life. And it is. It made some advancements in this thing, this television.

I think this TV thing is going to blow up. I just watched such a variety of things last night where I was like, this is amazing. All at your fingertips. And I never even – most of the time I was just in the HBO app. And then you're left. I watched Seven, All the President's Men, Bunch of Entourage. I think that's it. Are you saying HBO Max?

Is that what you're talking about? HBO Max is the best product that's got the worst marketing in a long time. When HBO Max first dropped, everybody made the joke, like, is it HBO Max? Is it HBO Go? Is it HBO Now? HBO On Demand? Because that was confusing. And then they didn't do a good job of marketing it, and it dropped, and it flopped, basically.

And then by word of mouth, there were, like, a couple shows. Like, I wanted to watch a documentary that was on there, so I got it. And then as soon as I started scrolling it, I was like, oh, wait a minute. This is, like, number two behind, like, Netflix. It's got – It has everything. The movies are, like, kind of like Netflix was back in the day. Yeah, I'm not as much of a movies guy as I am a series guy. So that doesn't, like, bother me as much.

But, like, it's good. I remember I was, like, scrolling through, like, the comedy section of the movies last night. And I was like, oh, there's just nothing here. Yeah. But, like, they also have, like, I'm going to watch Seven and All the President's Men. And they have, they do original. I didn't realize they were doing, like, original series the way that, you know, you can get a Netflix original or a Hulu series. Flight of the Dragon was fire.

Yeah. It got annoying where you're, like, it was like watching flight yeah just stop for a second and just fucking do it figure it out yeah but that i mean i would say you know it's like netflix as much as i hate hulu i think there's like some shit on there that you need uh i like my my three right now would be like and and like almost permanently here netflix amazon prime hbo max i would give that i think it's a fair assumption yeah like but that's my point being that hbo max is is up there and i don't think people like know that or think that or care to do that but like it's it's good and we know that because of hbo but then if you're going

to add like new original content shit like fuck yeah i'm, yeah. I'm watching the, I started the Tiger Doc. Have you watched that yet? I haven't. I heard it wasn't very good. Well, that's what I find interesting. There's like no buzz about it. Right. I think all the buzz got sucked out of it because there was a ton of buzz when it first dropped like two months ago. And then I think people got screeners

and then all the reviews were not great. And I think the golf world was immediately like, oh, we're out. Fuck it. I mean, well, I're out, fuck it. Interesting. And you've seen it, not me. I mean, well, I only watched the first 10 minutes, but the 10 minutes got me because it's more, I want a documentary on Earl Woods

because that motherfucker is crazy. Like, he has a, the very- You don't have a great kid without being crazy. True, true. But I don't know, I don't think I knew how bad it was. The opening is great. It's him giving a speech, probably, I don't know, when Tiger got like a Golf Hall of Fame induction or something like that, I don't know. I don't think I knew how bad it was. The opening is great. It's him giving a speech. Probably, I don't know, when Tiger got, like, a Golf Hall of Fame induction or something like that.

I don't know whatever it was. And he was, like, and as he's giving this glowing speech, they're showing a package of Tiger highlights. And when he was a kid and getting older. And then as his dad gets to the part about, like, how great he was for, like, the game and how great he is for society, it's him walking in to get his mug shot. And he's all fucked up. He's barefoot. He's got his eyes barely open. And it was overlaying with his dad talking about him.

I was like, oh, this is going to be some shit. And then there's a scene where his dad, actually, I meant to tweet it because I filmed it off my screen. Like, just a bizarre, and maybe he's not wrong because like tiger you know kind of changed the world but like but tiger's father earl he loved to drink he loved to talk and he just starts saying his son's gonna have this grand effect on the level of gandhi buddha Nelson Mandela, you know, basically the chosen one. I know I was personally selected by God himself to nurture this young man and bring him to the point where he could make his contribution to humanity.

Like, I actually think about Earl Woods a lot now that I became a dad. And I'm thinking, by now, by now, Keegan would be, like, on the golf course. Not playing with, like, Fisher Price. Like, by then, he was, like, hitting real balls with real clubs and doing it well. And I am just trying to get Keegan

to not shit in his diaper at night. I am trying to get Keegan to do, like, basic human things. And maybe, I don't know if, you know, maybe I'm like, maybe I'm putting a fucking cap on Keegan. Maybe I'm putting a ceiling on him. Because I am not sitting here thinking, you know what? I am the chosen one to raise this kid to be greatness.

He's not the next Gandhi or Nelson Mandela. You know? And I mean, you know, Tiger's pretty fucking influential, or mandela you know and i mean you know tiger's pretty fucking influential but i don't know if we're gonna put him on no i know i would say as far as athletes go he's up there with the all times and when you're not just excess but influence on the world and when you put in like he's definitely lower than nelson mandela right gandhi buddha i think he put in there like buddha like bud in there. Buddha opened the mind of the world. Now, there are these racial implications in the sport that Tiger chose

that's more than just like, hey, I'm awesome at sports. He changed the world in that regard. But I don't know. It got me thinking that I have moments where I'm like, I want to make sure, Shay too, but Keegan, obviously, you relate to as a good guy. I want to make sure that Keegan is awesome at talking to people and being funny and taking girls out and going to work

and school, everything. I'm just like, I want to make sure. And it doesn't mean I have to be the best at everything, but I just want to make sure he is awesome. Because you theoretically know the recipe for that. I would hope, yeah. Not just because of you, but because of like, I've seen what cool guys are.

It's harder to be a girl or to talk to a girl. To do that to a girl. To mansplain how to be a cool woman. Let me tell my daughter how to be cool. I'll get fucking taken away from me. She'll be like, thanks, Dad. Thanks for mansplaining. I'll be like, fuck you.

I'm just trying to help. But yeah, I would love. Sometimes I think that I could be on the playground with him and something happens. And I'm like, maybe I should pull him aside and be be like do you see what just happened there like that was you like you know that that that little girl i didn't want to like let you on the slide because that's what this means and you know like explain things to him i don't do that i don't do that stuff because i just want to be like normal at the same time so it's like how much are you supposed to like make sure that this kid becomes the greatest thing he could be versus like,

how do you make sure he's just like normal and happy? And like, which, which should I strive for? I don't know. Like, why did Earl Woods, maybe it was,

or it was probably nasty at golf. So he had to be pretty good. You know? I mean, yeah, he definitely didn't just like flip a coin. Like, all right,

we're going to go either, either a hockey or golf. Right. Yeah. He knew it is, but he was like, I have like a duty, a responsibility.

Like, should I be like, I got to make sure he's in callings or yeah it's like crazy folk it's also like come on you don't you just really really want to do this come on that's all do i have a calling oh no i just i like doing a podcast should i should i be like i want to make sure that keegan and shay like crush the media world like should i set them up with, like, a TikTok account right now and, like, teach them what I know about this? I would say no definitively just because Darren Revelle does it. Oh, then I'm out. Yeah.

Then I'm out. The people who do do it aren't the greatest. They don't like him. Yeah, it's a weird thing. But anyway, get HBO Max. Yeah. Oh, and also the criticism I heard of that is it's, like, the anti-Jordan doc.

The Jordan doc was overly complimentary of Jordan. This one's overly critical. See, I'd rather that, though. Jordan dick sucking by episode five, I was over it. This is like they're rolling out his ex-girlfriends and they're going hard. When his team came out and condemned it i'm probably like well that's probably because there's some real shit in there yeah you know and but there are also points i think where it's just like like he's he's flawed we get it like yeah yeah he's allowed to let him have his redemption

now yeah yeah it's been right it's been 20 years since his wife abused him like that's the doc i want to see like i don't likeempted murder because he cheated. We got to start beating that drum more. We'll start a Twitter account like at Elan is an abuser and just be like, reminder, Tiger Woods got hit in the head with a golf club. Maybe he was sleeping around, but you don't

deserve to get murdered with a golf club because of that. I think Ronda Rousey has one of those too. In her memoirs, she has a bragging thing about her coming home and finding out that her boyfriend was cheating. She just locks the door behind her and fucking beats his ass. Like, yeah, you're Ronda Rousey. That's not okay. Yeah, you're a weapon. You're like a registered lethal weapon.

You're like a black belt in multiple things. You can't beat me up. You've got to be a little crazy to cheat on Ronda Rousey, no? I'll give you a lot crazy. That is like the last. I wouldn't even want to be in a relationship with her just in case I have to break up with her. Forget about cheating on her. Imagine just being like, I don't want to date you anymore.

It's like, well, I'm going to beat you up. She just gets up and quietly locks the door. Now you just can't leave. Ronda, you're running out the back door. It's a tough scene. Yeah. It's a tough scene. I mean, and then it's like.

I'd be running away like fucking sting in the commercial, grabbing the kids. Just throwing them across the mantle. I'm just sprinting around the house. Stop. Stop. Come on, Rodney. Come on. See, and this is why we got to get into our guy here.

You know who can't beat you up? Your sex doll. A robot. Can't. Well, at least right now. up? Your sex doll. A robot, yes. Eventually the robots will be able to kill you. Right now, your sex robot can't fight back. A couple weeks ago, we talked about the bodybuilder from

Hungary. I don't think we said Hungary the whole time. I said it the whole time. Did I too? Yep. Because I know it's called Hungary. I don't think you said it back, but you didn't you just like went with it you know you didn't say it out i think i just didn't even notice but i would i would be very surprised if i was saying hungaria but you know hungary exists i know so do i it's just like yeah it was romania and hungary yeah if you're hungarian you're from hungaria but uh But we talked about the bodybuilder who fell in love with his sex doll, married it.

They had a wedding. They had vows and a reception and all that shit. And then a couple weeks ago, she broke. She was on the shelf for a little bit, which is, I guess, the equivalent of taking a break. Your sex doll breaks. You know, we were on a break. And then I am sad to report that love is truly dead. He's getting a divorce from his.

Oh, he's getting divorced. Right. Is that the story? Oh, I thought he was. Oh, he cheated. Right. Oh. Oh.

So, yeah, you know, like, again, everybody's just looking to fuck, you know, and he got sick of that. That sex doll pussy. It wasn't doing it anymore. And and he strayed from his marriage. See, I completely disagree, and I think this works for my argument instead, where he's just looking for peace. And here's the deal. What could be more peaceful than your sex doll? This is a lesson in all relationships.

It doesn't matter if you're human or robot or whatever she is. What are you bringing to the table uh-huh because when i come home from a long day's work and you're just sitting on the couch and you haven't done the dishes and you don't have a job and you bring nothing to this well it's like well guess what i'm gonna go find it somewhere else honestly you yes you don't hold up your end of the bargain i don't hold on my end no longer now i've no longer found peace because every day i come home i'm stressed out because you're fucking lazy robot ass just like i can't do anything without me fucking clingy as all hell like how about you have your own life a little

bit my you never turned on they're always just off yeah i gotta turn you on every night literally yeah i i think uh i i think that's something that is not ever really talked about. If you're not, when you enter into a relationship, you are entering into a contract. Right. And it says, like, here's what I'm going to do. I'll be faithful. I'll fuck you. We'll share money.

We'll raise kids. And we both have to do those things. And if you stop doing one or multiple of those things well now you're in breach of contract now now i think i should either be let out of that contract or i have the right to replace those things with an outside vendor who can provide those things i now i agree i will also acknowledge the fact that some people get sweetheart deals sometimes this sex robot she might have signed the holly madison contract right the sex version of the derrick rose deal where it's just look we don't have to do much we're gonna give you a ton and then guarantee money and you don't

have to do anything and maybe that's maybe that is the deal they laid out in which case she would not be in violation of the contract yeah but if you thought he was entering into a partnership and guess what he got this fucking girl just gives him a cold shoulder all night. Turns, turns butt unless he rolls her over. Right. That's that's that's a violation. That's a stressful. That's a stressful life.

He's no peace there. No peace. No peace. Now, did he cheat Nick on her with a human or another doll? So he cheated on her with another robot. And this is what it is uh i don't know i i feel like uh it's it's not it's not a sex doll it's not what you think so so he's cheating on his sex doll with a with a robot like a like a android type of robot because that i think

this is almost like cheating in the same so like if if i got cheated on with a guy i'd be like well that's like i'm a fucking guy yeah what are you doing fucking other guys right if you cheat on me with a girl i would still wouldn't be thrilled but i'd be like i understand they can provide something i can't provide so if you're cheating robot to robot well i can i'm doing i'm a robot right i can do all i things a robot does. I can provide that. Oh, no, no, no. It's like a blowbot. It's not a human doll at all. It's a fucking... This is a three-minute video.

That is. Well, go ahead and press play, Nicholas. What he's fucking is a robot brain. Armory would be proud. Oh, look at this. He's caressing it. So if you don't know what a blowbot is... I don't even...

I don't know. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Let it go. Let it go. Don't be a pussy. We watched the guy fuck a peach. Now we're watching the guy fuck a pot. So if you don't know what a blowbot is, fucking give it the times.

But it's like imagine a fleshlight that you – he's like groaning. Yeah, no, I don't know. How is this allowed on Instagram? Don't be a pussy, fights. Oh, man, this guy is – Wow, I can't believe Instagram allowed this. Fights, put your headphones on. I can hear it, Kevin.

I have plenty of sound right now. Oh, my God, he's like eating it out now. Is that like after he used it? Go ahead, keep scrolling a little more. This is a hairy bodybuilder, too. This is disturbing. This is really upsetting. What is that thing?

This is deranged. This is downright deranged. Oh, look, it's got, like, tits. You know what it is? It's one of those things, like, the spikes you put your hand in it, and the brave kids would put their face in it. I never wanted to put my face in it. I thought I was going to, like, poke my eyes out.

He's got it on his head. What? You know what he looks like? He looks like Marshmello, the DJ. This man is deranged. He makes Armie Hammer look normal, bro. As I mentioned last night, I watched Seven. This would have been a totally normal thing to be in that movie.

Just like some fucking sick dude who Kevin Spacey is about to come kill. This is like the eighth deadly sin is like, you know, the modern technology version. Uh,

wow. So, how about, so, if a humanoid doll gets cheated on by a more,

just a electronic device that gets you off. Does that make it better or worse? That's like if you cheat on, if you have like a short blonde girl, and you cheat and you hook up with a tall brunette, that girl is going to be fucking mad, you know what I mean?

It's going to be like, oh, that's what you fucking like? You don't like how I look? So if you're a human doll, and it's like, oh, so you just wanted the new fleshlight? Yeah, because I mean, I don't know. If you're a human doll and it's like, oh, so you just wanted the new fleshlight? Yeah. That's what you wanted? I mean, I don't know. Boy, I don't know, Kev. I have nothing to say.

Just the fact that he had that on his head afterwards. Rendered John speechless. So much. It takes a lot to render a speech. I had no problem talking about cannibalism. And that right there has, I don't know. I don't know. I don't know what you can even i don't know i don't know what

you can even say about that it's fucking crazy he put it on his head that guy needs manscaped by the way you see yeah he does he was furry dude maybe that's how you're supposed to see your definition mr body i was gonna say it it takes away you might as well be fat i feel like mac right now like in body mass alone how am i supposed to see your mass dude i'm supposed to see your fucking delts and you seriously you know i can't see any of the definition i can't see any of the cut up muscles because he was a hairy bear and i don't know if it would have been better if like he was shaved or the hairiness there for us for just that video right there yeah i'm not sure which one i don't know if anything could have saved that i don't know anything could save that but if you're a

regular ass guy it applies to you as well if you got a good body you want to show it off you don't want people be like oh my god look at your hairy shoulders and if you are uh you know like us and not in great shape well then you need all the help you can get and you don't want to be hairy on top of also being like flabby you know it's like right, he's skinny fat, but he's not hairy. That's the report card I get. If you're skinny fat and hairy, you're in trouble. It takes a lot. It's a constant fight.

For the hairy guys out there, it's like the tides, man. They just keep coming in. The hair just keeps growing, and you just got to keep shaving. So Manscaped makes it as easy as possible. Speaking of the hair, I was very much accused of my my calendar picture of being a like an arm shaver which everybody knows fidelberg's an inside out cat it doesn't but my chest is hairy yeah i just don't everyone ever else like no no i shave i don't know why i feel like one day you had an accident that you don't know about like you like you got burned

all over your body or something and the hair doesn't grow in. It's weird. It just perfectly grew back to normal. It's so weird. It's so weird. It is bizarre. It's not any hair. But it's also like so surprising. Like it's the first time you've ever seen my legs and my arms. Yeah. What do you mean?

You're surprised? It's like a well-known thing. Hairy. I mean, not hairy. Fights. Nick put out, guess how many Sour Patch Kids were in the tub and we'll send them to you? And people took it seriously. Like 13,000?

Bro, you want a bunch of fucking Sour Patch Kids that have the tub, and we'll send them to you. And people took it seriously. There were like 13,000. It's like, bro, you want a bunch of fucking Sour Patch Kids that have been up in Fidelberg's ass? It's not a real – Probably. But you look good, as did all the boys in the calendar, and hopefully they all got their Manscaped on before they took those pictures. Manscaped will give you the right tools for your family jewels, whether you're shaving your balls, whether you're shaving your chest, your back, your neck, your face, whatever.

Using the Lawn Mower 3.0, it's a waterproof and skin-safe trimmer that will help reduce nicks and will give you that close trim so that you're nice and smooth. Whether you want to go with a little bit of stubble. I guess it's not like stubble on your body. It's like stubble on your face. But sometimes i think it's weird when you're like fully shaved yeah you take a blade out it's a lot you know i i you got it there are blade anywhere on this body in a long time there are blade guys if you are like a pretty guy and you're like hot and got a good body i don't know maybe you do the blade then but to me i i need like some stuff five o'clock shadow, you know?

So that's what I like about Manscaped is that it gets, you know, the right amount of grooming. So freshen up. And not only do you have the tools to trim, they also have the lotions and creams and whatnot to keep you nice and fresh. They got the crop preserver, which is an anti chafing ball deodorant and moisturizer. If you're, if you put deodorant on your armpits, why would you not also put it in your crotch? Those are the two spots that are like tight.

I would have never thought about it if it wasn't a manscape, but yeah, it makes a lot of fucking sense. Crazy. And they also have the crop reviver, which is a ball toner spray so i don't know you're on the go you're on a date you just spray it down there freshen things up a little bit it's like perfume for your nuts uh toner yeah toner that's what they call it the bald toner see my

i am picturing that titans yes i'm thinking if you're having a long ball day, you spray it and just move up. That's what I'm picturing as well. Apparently that is not the product. I don't know. Maybe it is. I don't know what a ball toner is. I have not used the Crop Reviver. I've used everything else, but I've not used the Crop Reviver. Maybe we're going to have to. I would imagine it's more of just like a

body spray type of thing that cleans and makes it smell good. I don't know which I hope it is more. But I would like it. I think I would like to be able to switch a button and go from a long ball day to a short ball day. I would do that. It's almost like... Again, just watch it. That's what I'm saying. I feel like it's in

Harry Potter maybe where it's like a weeping plant and then it grows right back. And I would just spray it and let it get long. Spray it again and let it shrink up and let it get long. We're it again and let it shrink up and let them get long. We're children. That's why God gave us balls to play with. I would sit there all day.

We are children who need to play with it. My robot girlfriend would be like, do you do anything in this relationship other than to spray your fucking balls? Bring your long balls to bed, honey. What do you contribute here? Stop playing with the crop reviver. Just bring your long balls over here. Unreal. Go to manscaped.com.

Code KFC. Get 20% off plus free shipping. That's manscaped.com. Promo code KFC for 20% off plus free shipping. There's another story about a bodybuilder from the New York Post. This dude went to walk his dog at night, fell down the stairs. He said it was a spiral staircase,

which are death traps. Yeah, very dangerous. I don't know why we as humans can't get up and down those. Every time anyone uses a spiral staircase, you're acting like it's snowing outside or something like that. You're like, everything is very... You act like you're breaking in.

You're robbing the place. Yeah, yeah. I have to go slow. Tiptoeing down. You're like an old woman walking down the stairs. It's like a're breaking in. You're robbing the place. I have to go slow. Tiptoeing down. You're like an old woman walking down. It's like a ladder, though. They're always steep. You probably should go down them backwards.

Always made of metal. Yeah, always made of metal. You fall down. You want to make the edges as sharp as possible. So there was a building at Fordham that had a loft situation for a triple, and they had spiral staircases. So drunk college kids going home to their spiral staircases every night. That's fucking.

I thought bunk beds were bad enough. That I know of, at least. The only deaths at Fordham were people getting shot behind the fucking outside of the streets. Who's going to joke like, yeah, the leading cause of death on college campuses, one Fordham staircase, two school shootings. But apparently, it's the other way around. Not at Fordham.

So this guy said he was walking the dog. I'm thinking he was probably fucked up because he fell down the stairs, hit his head, landed in a kneeling position, and passed out for six hours. I think the only way, yeah, maybe you hit your head, but you gotta have some shit in your system to fall down the stairs and just be totally passed out for the next six I think the only way, yeah, maybe you hit your head, but you got to have some shit in your system

to fall down the stairs and just be totally passed out for the next six hours. Six hours, especially in a kneeling position. Yeah. It might happen to land on my back. I'll get a good aid in. That's just called going to sleep. I bumped my head, I went to sleep.

This guy passed out, and because his knees were folded up in the kneeling position, all the blood pooled, and his calves exploded. And Alexa saved his life, by the way. So he woke up. His calves had exploded. And he couldn't move. But he yelled to Alexa to call his friend.

A friend called the... Hang on. Now I'm a bit woke on Bezos here. This is just like... This is like, hey, people who live alone. Help us. This is a new life alert but you think Bezos killed this guy?

I don't even know if he actually killed him but he definitely set it up I don't hate that conspiracy theory number two, you know how we have that answer the internet question would you rather know when you're going to die or how you're going to die? my now answer is when because I know how it's going to be something like this

your calves are going to explode? not going to is when because I know how it's going to be something like this. Your calves are going to explode? Not going to be my calves, I'm sure, but it'll be, I will fall asleep one night just in a weird position because I sleep very oddly and I'll fall asleep one night in a weird position and some internal organ will explode and that's how I'll die. I'll bleed out

internally. I'll drew blood so this thing. Honestly, it doesn't sound that bad. It sounds not great. I imagine it's extremely are you gonna suffer i would think i probably will yeah internal hemorrhaging i just think god i want to does it not hurt an embolism or an aneurysm like if my fucking if my fucking gallbladder explodes like that's that's gonna hurt they called it acute compartment syndrome where the blood flow is blocked yeah no this is like one this is 100 you're gonna go out yeah this is like i sleep like this i don't know just fucking weird and i undyne i wake up with numb things i haven't felt my back in couldn't

tell you how long like i wake up every day and it's just like, oh. I just don't. My back just hurts at all times. There's something in there that that's going to pop. I'll probably pop on arms. I'll sleep like this. I'll probably just strangle myself to death. I'll sleep like this a lot with a pillow. You know what I'm doing these days?

I got a pregnancy pillow. They're fire. Those between your legs? It goes. It's a big. Oh, one of those. It does everything. It's between my legs and it comes up. It wraps around, goes under my head. It is the greatest body pillow ever. It's a big oh it does everything i it's between my legs and it comes up it wraps around goes under my head it is the greatest body pillow ever it's a life changer see i i understand

that i would never do it and i because i just i don't think of the bed as someone where they're like this is where you spend like one third of your life i'm like i don't think so yeah you're right for you it's like four fifths it It is. You go on the couch a lot. I'm on the couch all the time. Yeah. It is. I do not invest in bed. I got my pocket sheets.

That's about it. I'm thinking about moving, and the first thing is going to be the only thing on my list is a bomb-ass bathroom, and I'll take care of the bed, and the rest can be whatever. I don't even need a good common room. I don't need a... Fuck the kitchen. Who cares? I really don't need a kitchen.

I just need a fridge. You can put a fridge in the bedroom and I'd be happy. Honestly, we should redo the home. Think about it. Think about it. We've been living in basically the same home as probably like George Washington. There's like a living room a dining room a kitchen a bathroom a bedroom a lot has changed in this world for us to still go with that same blueprint you know

i don't i think i'm gonna disagree with you here like i don't you don't need a kitchen anymore i cook all the time hello fresh what up fine feidelberg cooks a lot everyone else who's normal we're we're delivering right everybody who's like single and living in the city maybe when you go to a home place to store food. I don't think you do. But you get like, maybe you could argue you don't need a fridge, I guess, if you're not keeping perishables. No, you need a fridge.

Okay. Just put it in the bedroom or the living room. So where are you keeping all your non-perishables? All your snacks, your chips, your candies. You need like one armoire almost, if you will. Okay. And put that in the living room. So I don't need a one cabinet. You need like one armoire almost, if you will. Okay. And put that in the living room. So I don't need a kitchen anymore.

And you don't use utensils or anything? I use all this stuff a lot. Even when I order, I put it on a plate. I have so many cabinets. I need one drawer for utensils, and I have one cabinet for food. Okay. And now that we have utensils and stuff, we're going to need a dishwasher. We're just

slowly building a kitchen no no no no so the dishwasher you can at least need a sink then so you need you need you need you do you need water flow if you will right so i think you can kind of combine all that into the bathroom i think you need like put all your food in the bathroom no the dishes like i'm washing like one dish at a time i need like a sink the dishwasher uh we talked about this the other day, Nick, from Two Bears, One Cave. You need two dishwashers, and you just transfer back and forth. It's a beautiful idea.

You just have your dirty dishes. You clean them. Then you just transfer over, and it's just one big cupboard for your – like why do you need to put the bowls over here and the plates over here and the knives and forks over there? It's crazy. We don't need the whole like sprawled out kitchen anymore. What you really need is almost just like an island.

I think that's why the island is like hot in the streets now. I don't think you need the full. If you're like, again, if you're like a single dude, like living, you're like one person living in a place. I don't need. I have like sprawling fucking countertops with like a million cupboards, all that shit. I need everything in like one room. You hit the P hard.

Huh? On cupboards. Cupboards? Cupboards? You said cupboards. I really say cabinets. I don't know why I'm saying cupboards. Cupboards is weird.

Cupboards is... That sounds like we're saying C-U-B-B-A-R-D-S. Yeah, that's how I pronounce it. That's weird. Cupboards. I need my fridge and my snack cabinet in the room where I hang out and eat. How much time am I wasting getting up and going to this other room my whole life? Up and down, back and forth, back and forth.

Just put it all in one room. I would guess it's very minuscule. But it's so many minutes. So many minutes. You sound like Kramer right now where it's like oh i i sleep 30 honestly 30 minutes every how many times have i gotten up walk to the kitchen come back need to rewind i don't need to do any of that i got my fucking my snack cupboard and my fridge right where i have all my snacks and my i'm arguing against as someone who's done it i did it it wasn't as great as you think

did what i had a kitchen living room i had a i don't need a kitchen i just need i just did a couple things took the fridge out of the kitchen put the fridge in the living room it was so bad about it it just like because then you'd get like something out of the kitchen i mean i guess if you were building all your cabinets and stuff too then i just think it's kind of an eyesore in the living room but that's what i mean though these are like release your mind you're under the construct of like I have to have cabinets in certain places and store certain things in certain rooms. Let's maximize. Let's get efficient here. I understand the efficiency.

I just I'd rather have it look nice. I don't think it looks that way. Again, as someone who's done it, I've been here. It doesn't look nice. I don't think I care about that. And then also you have to like, again, I didn't have the cabinets or the cupboards built out, so I had to go to the kitchen to get a plate to eat my food anyway. So it was like, okay, now I just have this eyesore rather than.

Well, yeah, and that's where you make these things so they're not eyesores anymore. You make it a part of your, it's all one design, all one look. You have your two dishwashers. That's it. That's the only place you store your dishes. I don't know why we have to take it out and put it here and then put it back here and put it there. Why do we do that? We just have it in one look. You have your two dishwashers. That's it. That's the only place you store your dishes. I don't know why we have to take it out and put it here and then put it back here and put it there. Why do we do that? We just have it in one spot. It cleans. You take

it out. Put it back in. Done. Why do you need to have a cabinet that's filled with these things? That one's not the worst. It would look ridiculous again, but the if you had them like where they're like built into the wall. Yeah. Do all this shit so you make it look nice

I'm not worried about that if you're worried about how it looks you can make it look nice you just need your two dishwashers your fridge and a snack cabinet and you can put that shit wherever you want rather than having a whole ass room called the kitchen so then you're just cleaning dishes in the bathroom sure it's not even a bathroom though it's just kind of like

your water your water supplies now to me the bathroom is not going to be the bathroom. The bathroom is probably going to be my best room in my house. I want to trick my bathroom out. Most people think the bathroom is just where you shit and piss. No, no, no. This place is going to be fucking bomb. That's where my TVs are going to be. That's where my music's going to be. That's where I'm going to live.

I'm going to have jacuzzis. I'm going to have comfortable shit in there. I'm going to have the heat lamps up top. we're gonna have the the heated floors on the bottom my bathroom is gonna be the spot to be maybe i'll have like maybe and maybe you have like a second door that's where you're pissing shit so that's not all like in that same spot but to me that's a hotel setup i always like that in a hotel yeah it's like that's it's almost like an outhouse but inside the toilet with the closet with the toilet in it yes and you have you have the exhaust in there so it doesn't smell or whatever. I might put my fridge and shit in that bathroom.

It's not the bathroom. It's just going to be called something else. It's going to be called my entertainment room. I got my shower, my jacuzzi, my TVs, my fridge, all that shit. There could be a hammock in here. Sure. Absolutely. A hammock, a loft, one of those giant beanbag chairs.

I might have a tent. It's like those tents that go over your bed so you're like living in a little cocoon. We need to revolutionize the home. I'm sick of living in the fucking regular modern ass home. I don't need that shit. The arguments you're presenting aren't the worst I've heard. You're goddamn right they're not. But it's just, it seems to be a little, it feels like to you that it's convenient,

where I think in practice you'd learn it's really not convenient to do your dishes in the bathroom. It's only because you're talking about a bathroom, John. I'm not talking about a bathroom. Also, we're not doing the dishes. We have our double dishwasher. Okay, okay. So the dishwasher is also in the bathroom. No, the dishwashers will probably be in the living room.

The dishwashers are going to be probably also like a countertop, if you will. So I'll have like a little bar that I can put certain drinks,

liquors, things that I need. And then underneath that will be my dish drawers, which happen to be washable as well. And that will be

next to my fridge in my living room. And then there would be a sink in here too at the wet bar. Probably. This is really close to a kitchen, Kevin. It's really just combining the kitchen with... I don't think I would need the sink

there, though, you guys. What do you need the sink for? You gotta usually get at least some of the stuff off a plate. You can't just put full plates in the dishwasher. That's a recipe for a broken dishwasher. Well, that's a bad... That's called a garbage. I'll have a garbage can there. I'll have a garbage chute. Garbage chutes are where it's at. That needs to be revitalized. That needs to a garbage. I'll have a garbage can there. I'll have a garbage chute. Garbage chutes are where it's at. That needs to be revitalized.

That needs to be revived. That needs to be revived. Like, just, and then it's gone. So I'll have a garbage chute. I'll have the wet bar with the dishwashers, the double dishwasher dish cabinets. Maybe have a sink, but I don't think I really need a sink. I need a water supply, so I'll have just like a Poland Spring water cooler. Well, if it's a wet bar, you're out of the sink.

Well, yeah, so maybe not a wet bar, more like a bar cart, I guess. Bar cart, okay. And then those things just kind of go right into, because, yeah, you're talking about doing the dishes. It's called throwing out the containers that my delivery came in on. This is all predicated upon if you don't cook. If you cook and you have a whole family, you need a kitchen. For me, I just need, like, the food and then throw it out.

Now, what you're describing is pretty close to my apartment, right? Yeah, yours is similar. There isn't really a separation between the... You have a good apartment. There's like a tiled floor. It's just like a little line of demarcation. You're getting close. I don't think I still even need all your cabinets.

And what you should have is your double dishwasher in your island. Right. That would be good. But yeah, yours is good. Yours is getting close. Yours is almost towards my futuristic home. We're almost there.

If you had a bomb-ass bathroom, then we're talking. And then you have just a bed. I think people should sleep in hyperbaric chambers. Yeah, I'd love to do that. People who have a grand bedroom, I don't think you need that. What I do need is a fuck like hyperbaric chambers. Yeah. People who have like a grand bedroom. I don't think you need that. I do. What I do need is a fuck room and a sleep room.

So then we're gonna have a fuck bed and we're gonna have a sleeping bed. And my sleeping bed might be a full blown hyperbaric chamber tent. Whereas my, and then my fuck room will be like an army hammer. The red room. Yeah. The red room of death. Army hammer for sure has one of those.

And cause I am just like completely about maximizing my comfort at this stage in life and that's why i'm wearing cashmere sweatpants today yeah i noticed this this faraday brand this is after a couple washes too when these are fucking fresh new those are i like them now i like them there the faraday brand they kind of got like a towel feel like it's a cashmere towel it's warm i don't know what exists but they're like they're like, they're warm, but they're not like sweaty. They're light, but they're like, the wind doesn't cut through them. So you can like wear them.

I think you're supposed to wear these like, you know, around the house. I wear them like out. I don't know. They're fucking cashmere. I'm getting my money's worth. Okay. So Faraday brand kind of that you can class it up, scale it up and get like the expensive stuff like cashmere, or you can get like the more normal stuff.

But Faraday brand is, you know, there know there's a lot of uh a lot of comfortable clothing brands out there right now that i think are starting to maybe lose sight of the style side of things like you can't always just look like you're going to the gym or whatever faraday brand is like a real clothing brand like real styles real real designs real materials real trends all that kind of stuff they make high quality comfortable clothing that is stylish um and they keep the focus on fabric so that's like really what it's all about that's what i learned too even just doing like some barstool stuff was like talking to like rich and i'm like what's the material i keep telling me times i'm like looking at tags now i'm like looking at this is 20 this and 80 that it's all about the fabric it's

all about the material and that's what Faraday Brand is committed to. They donate a lot of their funds right now. They donate to the Surf Rider Foundation and 1% for the planet, which is all about the community and the environment. They're all about family. It does feel nice when you get that. Just a little extra bonus. A little something.

I'm being a good person. I look good. Yep. Also helping the world. Yep. They have a legend collection, which is the softest coziest clothes you've ever worn you know a cozy boy over here you're the sad boy on the cozy boy i'm all about it uh the quality stands up so you can wear it every day stylish i got the i got a black pair and a and a gray pair of my uh like cashmere sweat

pants that are just they have when they've gone right to the top of the rotation you know how sad it's almost like toy story when when clothes get bumped you know and like woody and yeah in the back he's like oh i used to be the favorite pair of sweatpants and now like faraday came along now i'm now i'm in the dumps you know so faraday's at the top of the rotation yeah yeah i just use you i use you as like a napkin uh like rubbing my hands uh faraday brands at the top of the rotation right now buying forever is the smartest way to shop and right now it's the smartest time to do it because you can get 25 off your faraday purchase when you go to faraday brand.com slash kfc that's f-a-h-e-r-t-y think of it think of it as Fah-her-ty. Fah-her-ty. Yes. So how do you spell it?

I would, see, I would spell Fah-her-ty, F-A-H-H-E-R-T-Y. So it's more like Fah. Fah. Fah-her-ty. Fah-her-ty.

You gotta really hit the bro. Fah-her-ty.com. Fah-her-ty brand.com slash KFC for 25% off. Fah-her-ty.com. F-A-H-E-R-T-Y brand.com slash kfc for 25 off army hammer it's getting worse and worse although i don't think the second wave of uh of of of stories from instagram are hitting the same way the initial cannibal ones did but this chick uh her name's house of effie she actually

reposted my one minute man which is making me a little uncomfortable because i'm like i really don't want to be in the situation at all yeah i'm gonna get a call from like army hammers lawyers or some shit like i don't know man i was making jokes about you being a cannibal but it was specifically the one part where i was like who would make this up who would make up being a cannibal of course it's true and then a cut it's like okay that's the only part you put in pretty much yeah so um she has posted more and more um now there are messages about how he wanted to cut off her toe and keep it in his pocket at all times as a memento of her um sausage what are you doing getting ready for sex always want what's the what's the toe shot sour toe always always ready

for a sour toe shot um he she he calls all of his girls kittens like all the girls that he dominates he's like my kittens is that industry standard i don't know yeah i don't know if that's across the board or if that's just an army hammer thing yeah is that like having a twink i got a kitten yeah i got this girl i just fucking ruined like she's loving. I mean, really, when you think about it, you're just like, you're calling them like your pussy. You know what I mean? You're just my pussy. Yeah. By the way, for all the girls

out there who think Armie Hammer's even hotter now, I kind of get it. I don't really get it, but whatever. Different strokes. You can fuck Armie Hammer. It sounds like you are getting exclusively fucked in the ass at all times. that what he's always talking about fucking people in the butt it's always it's always that i have not seen a message yet that's like oh your pussy's so tight it's all like every time i'm fucking someone in the ass i'm thinking about you or like it's all

just ass ass stuff so you know get ready for the back door if you're down with army hammer i i think that it's... So, last time we talked... It's nice to mix that in. We're talking about cutting off toes and fucking brains. Also, just good old butt sex. Don't get me wrong. I'll fuck a hole.

It's fine. Yeah, how about the holes that we're designed with, man? You know it's bad when you're like, can we just be normal and do anal? And that's just par for the course. The only way to get Army hard is when his girlfriend's like, oh, yeah, I need that. I need a little hole in the head. He's like, say what now?

I can be arranged. Would you be into that? He asked with a chuckle. Why? Is that something you'd like? Totally just joking joking if not though but yeah but you want to do that um so a lot of the messages that are coming out now are just kind of like just just not even cannibal and shit just like he just seems like a bad a bad like

boyfriend a bad lover he just kind of like like mentally like verbally abuses these chicks and kicks them to the curb and like talks a lot of shit just seems kind of like an asshole guy but last we talked you were down to drink blood and sounds like you will curb and talks a lot of shit. He just seems kind of like an asshole guy. But last we talked, you were down to drink blood, and it sounds like you will suck the blood out of my finger if I cut my finger off. I don't even drink blood. I think because the texture would be good. It would be definitely thick, right?

Yeah, I can't believe you of all people. You know? No, no. It's not really that. It's a little bit thicker. Blood's thicker than water. But it's not like, it tastes like pennies, you know? It's got that metallic taste to it. Oh, that's not really that. It's a little bit thicker. Blood's thicker than water. But it's not like, it tastes like pennies, you know? It's got that metallic taste to it.

Oh, that's not Kevin. Well, listen, I've sucked my own blood. I haven't sucked others. I think it's, you know, it's somewhere between water. It goes like water, blood, cum, as far as the consistency. Oh, okay. It's probably in between there. Much more towards the water side.

So less than liquid water, thick water. Yeah, I think. Yeah, definitely less than thick water. I believe Lisa Anderson said that was exactly like, yes, she would know. Which, by the way, a disturbing amount of people would just wolf down. A lot of people had no problem with thick water.

Casey Smith. But I think blood, like the consistency and the thickness is not bad because I think what a lot of people are thinking of is like, oh, cut my finger. Versus like, if you were to do a shot of bad because I think a lot, what a lot of people are thinking of is like, Oh, I'll cut my finger versus like, if you were to do a shot of blood, I think you'd be like, yeah,

a shot of blood. Yeah. It's like spit. So yeah, you can spit in my mouth, but if you gave me a shot glass of spit, there'd be a problem. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Mr. Fucking gag over here. I remember an episode ago, I was talking about drinking bodily fluid. Get the fuck out of here. Yeah.

I ask you where you stand now. Oh, by the way, let me just say this. While I am apparently the only person in the world condemning Armie Hammer. I don't think I condemned drinking or commended drinking bodily fluid. I think I was like, no, fuck off. Yeah, but you said you would do it to other people. You said you would suck my finger.

And this is where you know you're wrong or it's a problem. So did Kelly Keats. And right now, you don't want Kelly Keats on your side of the argument. If you were a child, or you were just acting childish, you're like, Sean, I cut myself. What do I do? I'd be like, give it to me. So now you're sucking on the children.

Now you're sucking the bodily fluids. I don't like doing this topic. Bodily fluids of children. John's condoning that behavior now. Everybody, all the girls and the gays who want to fuck Armie Hammer. topic bodily fluids of children john's john's condoning that behavior now everybody everybody all the girls and the gays who want to fuck army hammer i i've said this i think they're all talk i think they're all talk and they're having fun with it and i don't want to you know ruin the fun but if it came down to it like go ahead go fuck him right now but then he's gonna chase you around

the rest of your life and want to like cut your toes off i think they'd all say no except for kelly she will fuck army hammer she'll fuck army hammer right in front of me and be like i told you so she wants to really fuck army hammer but she would be the one to roll out like you know in the movies when someone's like hanging there and they yeah in order to intimidate them the torturer comes and just rolls out a knife set yes yes what do you want army dealer's choice baby you know what would happen i like the scenario i set up i said like here's the hotel key room 159 right down the hall good he's in there go fuck him like put your money where your mouth is go fuck him i think kelly would snatch that you hear

the door close behind it and in like five minutes army would come running out Run it out. You have like a half a shirt on. I'm like, that bitch is crazy. Kelly comes out like, where are you going, Army? She's got a fucking hook in her hand. That was just foreplay. Where are you going? Crazy bitch. One of those jackets they give you on like Maid of the Mist. It's like a see-through jacket. The deadliest catch.

She's got the hook from i know what you did last summer dripping blood what's wrong army i thought you were into these things crazy my one thing i i said i am i think the only person who's like army hammer is a bad guy everyone else is like i want to fuck him the only thing i will say not in his defense but more kind of like the girl house House of Effie. You can't be doing all this and then have your profile say the Michael Phelps of fucking. Her Instagram bio says that. And that's what Armie Hammer called her.

And he put in his messages to her. You can't be like, oh, I'm into that. That's a cool nickname. And then condemn all the other parts of his message. I think there are a couple of layers between you're really great at sex and also i want to eat you like like you like one thing you don't like the other like definitely i can't even get a read on this girl definitely that's why i'm ultimately on her side i'm just saying if you want people to take you seriously you can't also be like well army called me the michael phelps the fuck also the vein the vein person in me says, like, that's a fucking awesome nickname, so do whatever you want. It is.

I think it's a so-so nickname. I know. You guys said that. I think it's an incredible nickname. I don't think of Michael Phelps as, like, the fucking man. So do I. So do I. But also, I'd be like.

I know that swimming's not the coolest sport. Yeah. But when he was that dude, he was that dude. It was. Yeah. Like, I loved watching Michael Ph michael phelps that was fucking awesome but there i don't know i guess it is a little unique so that's cool like oh i'm the mj of fucking yeah it's like everybody's been the michael jordan yeah yeah we use goat on fucking everybody high school athlete it's a three-pointer he's the goat yeah yeah yeah the goat is but also the goat is michael phelps really when

you think about it like he was like perfect yeah you know like i don't has he ever really lost like when he you know you lose like when you're coming up and maybe if he if he swims again losses did he like i feel like he was you know when when he was in his prime like a close second yeah yeah yeah that's the other thing it's like oh silver oh, silver medal. You're a fucking waste of time. But, I mean, he probably... I think he was probably the most dominant at his sport, like, probably ever. I don't know. Maybe...

I feel like even more so than Jordan at basketball or Brady at football or, I don't know, Babe Ruth or Barry Bonds at baseball. I think it's like Usain Bolt and Michael Phelps at their, like, particular craft. So, I would be like, yeah, I'm the Phelps of fucking. But I just think that it's tough to be like this disgusting pig. He gave me an awesome nickname. But I mean, isn't it like fucking anything, like any relationship? You take out good parts.

You take the good and you leave the bad. That was great. Also, some of that was fucking awful. And like, well, he gave me good nicknames also he wanted to cut my toes off like you take the good and the bad you know what weigh it out see we see which is worth it usually the good and the bad it's like well like the sex was great and we had a lot of fun but like we weren't compatible when it comes to like making a family this is like well you know it's a lot of fun, but I lost digits. Yeah. We really need to hear from orthotics because my balance is thrown off.

I don't have a pinky toe anymore. Now I walk in circles because I'm like, oh, yeah, yeah. People are assholes. So should we do a little M&A asshole today? By the way, we have Stone Cold Steve Austin on the show today. Some of you probably, the diehards who wake up early probably heard some or all that interview. We fucked that up. That was supposed to be for Brandon Walker launching his wrestling podcast.

We were supposed to give him the exclusive and have everyone listen to him on his debut, first guest ever on wrestling. We forgot about that, so we had published it, and it was only up for a couple hours, so I took it down so that Brandon could have his time in the sun. So now we're airing that interview. We also have Anthony Mackie. He's Falcon from the Marvel world, so another big... On your left!

On your left. I mean, we said no guests, and then these guys come along, and it's like, okay, we'll do it. And Anthony Mackie says yes. Two superheroes? Okay, yeah. We'll make it happen. So a couple

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You're like a high school kid working on a counter. You don't know what you're talking about. Dude, I had a bad experience the other day where I was – I wasn't getting wine. I was getting whiskey. And the guy was in a blazer. It was like a nice wine store and – nice wine and spirit store. And I was like – I asked him asked him like is this comparable to like uh like a bullet or like a fucking uh four roses and he was like oh i don't know but you're gonna

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Hubert's, the stag dot U.S. on Instagram and Facebook. And check out your local wine aisle to try it today. Am I the asshole? Last week we had the girl who took a shit in the kitty litter. And this week we have the guy who peed in the kitty litter. Or at least blamed it on the cat so am i the asshole for not taking in my brother-in-law who peed on my stuff and blamed my cat so this is the second cat blaming that we've had

in two weeks at least this cat i think is alive we'll find out you got a cat murder out there that's the real story cat serial killer everyone's cats are dying and ruining our did you imagine that if two people on m.i the asshole were like wait a minute my cat was murdered was your murder too they connected because i'm an asshole uh my 29 female so the 29 year old female has a husband, 34 male. Ted had been living together for 10 years. We met early in college, dated all throughout. I dated before him and took a semester for traveling while he finished. So he moved into another state.

He ended up having to repeat some classes. So when I came back, we couldn't move yet. And I had no place of my own. So I moved in with him and his roommate slash brother ash 32 male while ted finished school you're gonna say brother i moved in with him and his brother yeah it's implied they're roommates right for sure before moving in i made sure that ted cleared it with ash that i was bringing my male cat with me they had a dog who was old but ash said it was and said he was fine with it about three weeks after moving in I started noticing that our bedroom started to smell a lot like pee

and we couldn't figure out where it was coming from. My cat is toilet trained, so not even kitty litter trained. What, is this Jake DeNiro? This is fucking Jinx the cat. My cat is toilet trained, so I knew it wasn't him and the dog couldn't go into our room

because he was on the second floor and he had hip problems. I started finding clothes on the floor smelling like pee. I asked Ted and he said he had no idea. After about three months of frustration of this happening twice a week, I asked Ash if he was bringing the dog upstairs. He said no. At this point, I'm fed up. I stopped leaving my clothes anywhere, but I was still finding pee in my shoes, my throw pillows, things like that. After breaking down one day, Ash suggested it was my cat marking his territory as male cats are known for doing that. He said it made sense as it was

only on my things and it was a new place. If any of y'all have cats, you know that the cat pee smells different than human pee. I trust my cat with my whole heart. So I set up a camera in our room. I was paying rent. Boyfriend knew about it, so I figured this was the way to find out where the pee was coming from. Lo and behold, Ash was coming into our room and peeing on my stuff. When I saw the video, I packed my things and cat and went to stay with a friend until Ted finished college and we moved. When all this happened, I refused to confront him because ew and ted uh ted dealt with that i really haven't spoken to ash since he was the best man at our wedding but we tend to keep clear of each other at family gatherings with the pandemic ash lost his job

and apartment and is honestly struggling financially he asked if i could move in with us and i honestly said i don't want him to because he peed on my stuff he was 25 years old when it happened he was a grown-ass man now their whole family is calling and texting me saying i'm gonna ask for leaving him homeless in the middle of a pandemic but it wasn't their stuff getting peed on am i the asshole because i'm holding a grudge because he peed on my stuff she always puts p to my stuff in capital letters but he's losing his home and his cat but he's losing his home and his cat deserves a home but it was made very clear that i cannot just take in his cat and leave him to the elements.

I know I'm justified, but Ted said he couldn't do anything about that. I mean, this goes on and on with edits and questions, clarifying questions. We're not going to read all that. But I can't believe there's all that. You are in no way, shape, or form obligated to take in someone who you caught red-handed peeing on your shit. And I thought it was a one-time thing, drunk or something. No, right. Twice weekly he was coming in and just pissing all over your stuff.

You're a saint for not calling the police. I was going to say, that guy should be locked away. That is... Today he's peeing on your stuff. Tomorrow he skins a cat. The next day he kills a child. This is pre-crime to the max. It's just his fucking plan. How did he think that was gonna end just one like he was never gonna get

caught no one's ever gonna discover that it was human piss not cat piss like i'm also envisioning like if you if you would do a human piss that's a lot of piss i'm envisioning he just like squirts it and pinches it off i was thinking he's going with a water bottle. Like a spray bottle. It is. It is. That's too much because if it's just a little bit that it's not like soaking wet and then you smell it, you're like, oh, it smells like I think that's pee. Like it's it's not sopping wet. It's not in the rain. So he just probably just like squirt

squirt squirt and then pinches it off and runs to the bathroom. I mean and then as deranged more deranged than that guy fucking a robot more deranged more deranged by that guy fucking the robot more deranged I don't even know where deranged is from I'll tell that man tie coin flip photo finish

downright sick and hurt you know who's more deranged is the family well maybe they don't know and I think she's a god damn saint for A not calling the police B not writing he pissed on my stuff for what sounded like months twice weekly for months he's crazy for like if so this guy's desperate he goes to the girl he's like hey i'm sorry i know that i peed on your stuff but like can i stay in your place

and she says no and he should go okay okay and when the family's like can you believe this bitch he should be like no no no it's fine me and samantha are like it's totally cool like he should be doing everything he can to take no, no, it's fine. Me and Samantha are like, it's totally cool. Like, he should be doing everything he can to take the heat off of her so that she doesn't go and tell everyone that he's a clothes pisser. I wonder if he even knows that he knows. That she knows? Oh my god. Like,

this is, for ten years you've kept this secret? Sweetheart, let your story out. I mean, obviously you have at this point. No this no no you gotta tell everybody but like make a facebook post about that shit because you seem like a facebook person you make it make a facebook you almost have an obligation to the world yeah this is like well you know this is like some fucking it's like some backstage shit you can't let these people run wild you gotta blow the whistle you can't you can't let guy run. Who knows what else he's pissing on?

Yeah. He could be pissing on the other side of the family's little nieces and nephews. And the craziest part of it, I think, is the pinch-offs. Yeah. Because it has to. Pinch-offs have to be involved here. Oh, my God. There's no way you're just letting it.

You're not just unfurling the hose and letting it run wild. No way. You're in complete control of this thing. And you're just. I mean, this is like an animal. Sometimes I'll pinch it off. Your dog lifts its legs, and it's like... Standing over a toilet.

Yeah. And that's kind of funny, because you make noise and stuff. And then, oh, I don't know about all that. You don't do that sometimes? Just make a loud splash and a little splash. Loud splash, little splash. All right. Move on.

Moving on. She's got to tell everybody she's got to tell everybody now for your own good too like like all right i'll keep your secret like i just did apparently i guarantee you're not alone it's like a cannonball it's like you're pissed as a cannonball you get a bunch backed up you go i mean i can understand how it works yeah i get it it's funny yeah i get worried that like if you pinched it i'm pinching it right now that it would like uh like back like it would go back or something i don't know i mean you don't look you don't fucking what would happen if you went to pee and you like were corked let's say somehow like sealed up what would happen i'm just like shoot black into your bladder i don't know i i am i imagine you'd have to you'd have really had that thing corked in because i picture like a like the uh like the bolts on a submarine it's just like

boom and it was flying out and it was like we got a leak well you know sometimes you get like the get, like, the dragon's tongue, the snake tongue shoots out. Because there's, whatever, a little something pinching it there. If it was, like, super glued shut, I just wonder what would happen. Yeah, it would probably just, the force would probably break through. I think, I don't know. I would imagine if you, like, you medically sealed that shit up. Like, if you got a little dab of superglue on there.

If I pinched his horns again, you think that the force of my bladder is stronger than my grip? My vice-like grip? Only one way to find out. I'm not doing that. Drink up, buddy. Fuck out of here. You crazy.

Yeah, no. You are not the asshole. You are the asshole for not warning others. We're usually team not the asshole. I think usually if you're posing this question, you probably know. This is the strongest I've ever been, that you are absolutely not the asshole here. I mean, you know, Emma the asshole, they did a P, they're calling it a P-Gate. They did a P-Gate update.

That's when you know they've got a heater. They said it's not funny. It's honestly just upsetting, but I know many of you will want to see it. So what is CW? I know trigger warning. What's CW? Something warning. I don't know.

Is it a video? No, because it just says animal abuse, mental health, threatening behavior, violence, bodily fluids, a minor's involved. Content warning. Content warning? Yeah. Got it.

So M.I. the Asshole is very like, whoever runs that account is very polite. They're very nice. They always warn you of things. But it's also like, well, you're also posting about people pissing on stuff. So, let's stop with the fucking dog and pony show here, huh? Okay, next up. Am I the Asshole?

More bodily fluids, I guess. I'll go with this one first. Okay. Am I the Asshole for banning my roommate's girlfriend after she kept insisting I was hitting on her? I, 24-year-old female, am a lesbian living with my good friend, 25-year-old male. I own the apartment. I'm renting out the extra room to him. A little over a month ago, he met a girl online and they started dating.

She's now at our place constantly. I'll be honest. I never really liked her. She was incredibly standoffish and rude to me at the beginning. I eventually learned it was because she thought I had a thing for my roommate. Even after I told her I was gay, apparently her only argument was, she doesn't look gay.

She's gotta be like a hot lesbian. Yeah, probably. A few weeks ago, we were all drinking and hanging out at our place with a few close friends. I tried to mend fences by pulling the girlfriend aside and telling her that I really am gay. I have no interest in stealing her boyfriend, and I hope we can be friends. I tried to mend fences by pulling the girlfriend aside and telling her that I really am gay, I have no interest in stealing her boyfriend,

and I hope we can be friends. She seemed to do this very well and was overly friendly with me the rest of the night. I thought she was trying to make up for being so cruel at first. The next day, my roommate asked if we could talk. He said his girlfriend feels uncomfortable around me after I drunkenly hit on her. What? I was not even remotely close to being drunk.

Also, I am negatively attracted to her. Like, way less than zero, I find her insanely annoying. I tried to explain that I was not even remotely close to being drunk. Also, I am negatively attracted to her. Like, way less than zero. I find her insanely annoying. I tried to explain that I was trying to be nice, as if she... as I knew she didn't particularly like me. I wanted to be civil if she was going to be around so often. My roommate seemed skeptical, but ultimately took my word for it and chalked it up to a miscommunication. Fast forward a week or so,

and the friend group is hanging out at our place again. The girlfriend comes over, of course. I'm cordial to her, but I try to keep my distance to avoid another miscommunication. Towards the end of the the night one of our other friends comes up to me like dude what is going on girlfriend keeps telling everyone you've been checking her out and hitting on her all night again i was stunned at this point incredibly pissed off i went right up to the girlfriend in front of everyone said what the hell's going on why are you spewing lies about me that i'm hitting on you to all my friends she just stared at me unable to respond i continued

just because i'm gay doesn't mean i'm into you. Trust me, I'm not the least bit interested in you. She started sobbing and said I was attacking her for no reason, calling her out, making her super uncomfortable again, etc. I told her to get the hell out of my apartment and that she was no longer welcome here for making me feel uncomfortable. Her and my roommate left. Needless to say, my roommate is super pissed at me. He hasn't been back to our place since, but I've gotten some angry texts.

I'm standing my ground that she's not welcome here anymore, but he's free to stay and move out or move out if he pleases. So this chick is just constantly thinking or at least telling people that she's getting hit on by this lesbian. Yes. And it's just not true. Yeah, I think that girlfriend's an asshole. The girlfriend is the asshole. Yeah, the lesbian is. However.

I think this is something that you get a lot of shit for saying sometimes. When you're like, oh, I think that dude's hitting on me. And you're like, why? Just because he's gay? I'm like, no. No. Because he's like. Or because it's not even like, wouldn't you be like over hitting on me?

Or just like, I think you're free to say if someone, be they female or male, if they're interested in fucking you, like men, you can be like, we're about in the same attractive bracket. Therefore, they probably want to fuck me. Because guess what? I want to fuck everyone. Every girl who's in my window, I'm like, I'm going to be flirting with you. Not overly, not over the top, but I'm like, I will be nicer to you because it's like. There's a possibility. There's a potential there.

Yeah. We both have eyes. We both see like we're about the same level here. So I'm going to go out of my way to be like nice and flirty with you. You'd fuck me. Yeah. And so I'll crack a joke and you'll chuckle. Yeah.

You'll touch my hand. So just to be like, well, just because I'm gay doesn't mean I want to fuck you. No, because we look the same. That's why you want to fuck me. Well, I also wonder, like, unless this girl is just plotting something and trying to, like, get rid of her or whatever, or like a crazy narcissist, like, you might be putting out some sort of vibe you don't realize. Right. Maybe you are overly friendly. Maybe you do touch them. Maybe you are.

As she said, like, I was overly friendly to her. Like, okay, at the end of the night, I'd be like, that person wasn't fucking with me. Why were they so nice to me? You're even a was overly friendly to her. Okay, at the end of the night, that person was a fucktard. Why were they so nice to me? You're even a little bit nice to me. If you're even a little bit nice to me, you're a lot of it mean to me. But this has to have some level of the lesbian. The lesbian has to be involved here. Because if it was a straight girl and you knew that, you wouldn't be thinking, you're hitting on me.

Right. So it is like she is planting you know it is like but i just know she's interested in in in my i my my tax bracket basically right yeah like i i know you're interested in in my parts and we're about on the same level so like i would get like i would think that at least part of you is like i can see myself fucking him i wonder you need you almost need like a third party to weigh in. Be like, yeah, no, you're hitting on that girl. Right, right, right.

No, you're not, you know? It's like, or maybe, yeah, maybe she's doing it. Maybe she's wrong. Maybe she's like right for the wrong reasons. You know what I mean? Maybe you are acting a certain way, but not because you want to fuck them. It's because you want to. You. It's because you want to... You're being friendly, or you're trying to be a good host.

Oh, this... I'm in a never-ending battle now with my new therapist. I'm not going to get anywhere. I'm just going to continue to pay just to fight her. She's smart as shit. That's kind of why I stick around, because she's really smart. She says things where I'm like...'s bar session yeah yeah like like iron sharpens iron

so like she's really like educated and like she's really she's she's saying she tells me like how i'm behaving and she's like i noticed this change and i noticed that change i'm like wow all right cool you know so she says to me like and she's so right like, and she's so right, but, but wrong. She's so right about what I'm doing, but I haven't done that yet. She's like, and I mean, this was some fucking,

uh, uh, a night, a fucking sword through like a clean shot, like just shroom, just chopped it off. Ned Stark style. She's like,

I noticed that like, when I say something you don't like or disagree with you get loud you talk fast and you talk over me that's like couldn't be me we talk loud we talk fast and i yell that i'm right no i wonder where i picked up this skill but what was funny and i said i guess habit more than skill but what do i think of this habit it depends on the situation sometimes it's a skill sometimes it's a horrendous detriment but i was like so i started like laughing i'm like i do do that but i haven't done that to you yet for like i was you haven't said anything i disagreed with really yet you know like like you

she's had something i disagree with but never that like like she's like when i ask you a question that you don't like you do it and i was like you haven't done that yet so i was like i do do that but i think you just picked up on that and you're like if you play that card too early because i can tell you there has not been anything that like i've disagreed with yet but when the time comes i will do that i'll put a hand up when it happens although yeah and you know it was funny was she said that and i was like you know i don't think so that's not true i was like oh that time it counts that time it happens smart little bitch she she's like you you're good yeah good it's like i was like i'll see you th good. Yeah, good. I was like, I'll see you Thursday.

You win this round, but I'll see you Thursday. You may have won the battle, but not the war. So funny. It's the only reason I go, too. Like, it's just unhealthy. It's just I'm just sparring with a professional now. Yeah. Yeah.

I mean, this is like I'm. But I will even say this. She's not going to knock me out, but she'll land a couple of good body shots. And I'll be ready for those next time. I also think that I land a few good body shots, too. Maybe that's extremely wrong. Maybe she hangs up. She's like, that guy's a fucking idiot.

But I could see her. I think she hangs up and she's like, until we meet again, Mr. Clancy. Mr. Peanut I feel like there is a little bit of that there God it's so good she even said to me like you talk fast you talk loud you talk over me

and then you and then you explain yourself in like very analytical terms and specific ways to like justify why you're right so i think she was even like you know what you're talking you know what you're saying and you like you pick your words carefully and all that to try to prove why you're right so i at least know that she doesn't think i'm a total idiot yeah i think she's like he's smart but he's dumb he knows some some words, but he's an idiot.

And I'll take it. I'll sign you up for that. Let's talk about pooping. Last one here. Another am I the asshole? Because I would imagine this maybe is happening to a lot of couples out there doing video chatting and whatnot. Now, am I the asshole for getting annoyed with my boyfriend for pooping while we are video chatting and whatnot now am i the asshole for getting annoyed with my boyfriend for pooping while we are video chatting i 27 female have been dating my boyfriend 28 for

only two months oh boy i mean then you haven't been dating at all you started dating in the pandemic you haven't been dating really you know um we haven't even if you start dating not in the pandemic two months two months you're not dating yeah uh we have not been intimate yet because of the pandemic we are always video chatting since the only way we see each other physically without breaking social distancing the problem is that he will call me and i can tell he's on the toilet well because he's making pooping grunts and faces plus i can see that he's in the bathroom through the video chat i told him numerous times that i don't feel like we're at the point in our relationship where I want to be watching him pooping. But he says I'm just being dramatic and crazy because when we live together, I'll obviously see him poop.

So the last time he called me and I could tell he was pooping, I asked him, are you seriously pooping when we're on video chat? And he said, yeah, so what? It's not like you're never going to see me shit when we're living together. And I just replied, just call me when you're done taking a shit. And I hung up we're obviously not a big fight or anything over this but i just want to hear from people on the outside if i'm being dramatic and crazy or if i have a right not to witness and pooping so early in our relationship it might sound immature but it just makes you uncomfortable listening and watching i think i may be the asshole because i know it's typically

normal for people in a relationship to talk on the phone while pooping no it's definitely and it's true once we do live together girl you've been gaslit poop lit this is this is 100 not normal not regular and definitely not ready i don't think you should do this at any point a video chat is like i can call you back in 15 minutes right 10 minutes 5 minutes 20 minutes an hour however long it takes you to think of shit, call after that. So that's one thing. And the other thing, yeah, two months is like way – I am a firm believer in like I don't think you should ever get comfortable pooping in front of each other. Nope, no way.

Although at the same time, I've had horrific relationships that crash and burn, and maybe I should be on a level where I don't value that. Maybe I should – I don't know. I just think – But I don't want to see you poop, and I don't want you to see me poop, so – I value privacy. I'm not against saying that. I value my privacy.

And if I'm pooping, guess what I want? Fucking privacy. If you're pooping, I'm going to give you privacy. I don't want to talk to you through a wall. I don't want to talk to you on a phone. I don't want to be acknowledged. Like, hey, you pooping? Yeah, nope.

We don't need to talk about it. I'm going to go away for a little bit. In my heart of hearts, I'll know what's going on. But we don't need to discuss it. When it's like we're watching a TV show and you get up and you leave and you're gone for a long time. It my heart of hearts, I'll know what's going on. But we don't need to discuss it. When it's like we're watching a TV show and you get up and you leave and you're gone for a long time. It's like, all right, I know what's going on. Okay, yeah, maybe now even it smells. Fuck.

We know what's happening. We don't need to address it. You know what's really crazy? It's to be on the video chat and be like, Yeah, totally, babe. I would love to go. I'll see you Friday. I mean, that is crazy behavior.

No one looks good on a video chat anyway. Period, yeah. Let alone when you're fucking trying to push out a turd. It's going to be sick to my stomach, man. That would be a deal breaker for me. Yeah. I'd be like, no. I mean, we're clearly not going to continue with this relationship.

That's fucking awful, man. Fuck. You know. And she's 27. I thought she she's gonna be like 22 or something like i totally normal like adults like pooping in front of each other i was like no this is not normal man and i think i don't know there just isn't a number there isn't an age where it's cool there is not even cool but acceptable there's no level of this familiarity that that you need with somebody. We don't need to be this close. It's not necessary.

And really, girl, you've been just talking to this guy on the phone for two months. It's not like you're fucking throwing away your husband and the father of your kids. You know what I mean? Just end it with this video chat pooper. How often does this guy shit? It's like every time we talk on the phone, he's shitting.

This guy has a problem he needs to address. this guy's shit yeah i know it's like every time we talk on the phone he's shitting like this guy has a problem he needs to address it's also just it's a it's a fucking it's a problem that's coming from this pandemic uh that's now into my world but it was the younger world as well where it was like every conversation needs to be on facetime i can just talk to you on the phone man right like i i sometimes get sometimes like if i just i really have to rip the piss and i'll do it on the phone and i'll like it on the phone. And I'll, like, mute my end for a second and hope they talk for the next minute. Or you pee over – you hit the side of the bowl.

But then you mute it when you flush the toilet. Oh, I actually – yeah, and the mute button is your friend. I just don't think about the mute button. What I'll do is I'll kind of, like, lean my head, like, around the corner. I've done that. And I flush in the toilet. Yeah, yeah. And that's just peeing.

And honestly, you know what, John? In my new home, I can can just turn the tv up and you won't even hear the flush at all okay uh all right let's get into voicemails they're brought to you today by acorns the number one uh saving and money earning app in the country right now it's acorns they call it acorns because you know little animals they stuff away their little acorns for the winter and they budget it and save it wisely and that's what this app will do for you it takes all your extra pennies your nickels your dimes your quarters you know what my my dad somebody's like a little kid back you know when they're poor and on the olden days and they like collected change you know like change actually mattered

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you got yourself hundreds of dollars, thousands of dollars sitting in your account. Go to acorns.com slash KFC. Voicemails, let's go. Hey, KFC, producer BC. First time, long time. Just calling in because I'm just in an absolutely ridiculous situation right now. So I was a fat kid my whole life and worked really hard to get in shape. And finally got in shape about two years ago. And now I find out that I'm stuck with this benign brain tumor that's caused something called Cushing's,

which has forced me to gain weight exponentially. I've put on 50 pounds in three months, and I was just wondering, have you ever worked really hard for something and life was just like, go fuck yourself? And what do you guys think I should do to celebrate once I'm done with this whole ordeal? Thanks for the laughs, boys.

Well, that's a dagger. You could have, yeah. You could have ended that sentence, have you guys ever worked really hard for something? Think about it. What have you really worked hard for? Have you ever really dedicated yourself to something? Yeah.

What? I wouldn't be comfortable saying because I just i don't know i don't like i don't like saying i work hard at things sometimes like it's like oh i'd rather just like like when i you get dressed like i didn't even try to yeah yeah yeah like you thought about it for like an hour it just came to me it's just this is just how i do i actually was thinking about if i was not blessed with genetics where i'm just like pretty skinny like i would probably just be a fat person and i would probably just be a fat person. You know, like I don't think I think I would if I was this dude, if I lost a bunch of weight and then I got a weird benign tumor that specifically causes weight gain, I would be like, this is final destination.

And the world wants me to be fat and I'm just going to be fat. Yeah, it's like going to the gym when it's raining out and you get there. This was a bigger thing in college when my roommates and I would drive to the gym and by the time we got there, it was raining so we were like, fuck it, never mind, and went home. Why? There's a different vibe to it. I'm not working out in the rain. Was it indoors? Yeah, it was indoors.

It was... I don't think that that's a crazy thing. I think people are like, oh, it's raining out. I couldn't possibly go to the gym. Okay. I'll defer to the gym people on this one um but it was like a big thing we're just like oh the world's telling us not to work yeah yeah you're like if any excuse it's not not worth it right or we'd go and we'd like do one lap around the parking lot and it wouldn't be like a good spot so we'd be like all right fuck it let's just go home yeah and so it's just like oh you it's just something you don't want to do really and you're just getting this

little sign that you are then attributing to the world telling you. The bigger picture. This is it. It's fate. Yeah. And so like, yeah, I would take that as fate 100%. Yeah. I don't, I mean.

I go under hurdles, not over them. Right. I was arguing with that therapist again the other day. I was like, I know I got to like fix all the shit that's wrong with me for like the long run but in the short run i'm like i don't got time to like work on myself and in my head i'm like i'm doing that for like my kids and shit i can't be like i can't like take time off of work and like go on like a weekend away to like work on me so i'm technically doing it for them by just being the lazy piece of shit that i am and

just keeping above water so i don't got time to work on myself so i think i mean i'll make every excuse in the book i'll take every of those signs i don't think i work hard for anything i i think it's like i don't work hard for anything i don't want to work hard for. I work hard at this. I like this. I do a lot of work in this. I make a lot of content because I get a sense of satisfaction when I do it. I don't get the satisfaction out of working out. I don't get the satisfaction out of certain things,

and so I'm going to do those things. I also think working hard is a – we were kind of talking about it on Friday Night Pints before we were recording where it's just like a you do it and you get successful and you're like I worked hard for it rather than like I lost so much weight. Did I work hard?

No I kind of. When I do my like twice a year I get in shape for a few months. I don't really work hard I just do it a few times and it works. So I would be like oh I worked hard. Well I didn't. It was just kind of. And so I would be like, oh, I worked hard. Well, I didn't. It was just kind of easy.

But I think if you're losing like 50 pounds like this guy does, like body transformation, I think you've got to radically change your life and stick to it. Not if you're fat. You can drop 50 pounds real fast. Yeah, but I guess keeping it off is like you've got to change your life and really stick to it. Yeah, I guess that would be.

But even that I don't consider hard. If I had a brain tumor and I had to overcome that, I would consider that hard and I wouldn stick to it. Yeah, I guess that would be, but even that I don't consider hard. If I had a brain tumor and I had to overcome that, I would consider that hard and I wouldn't do it. But I'm talking about just the before. The 50 pounds before that. I would be like, yeah, I just, I don't know, I ate a little better, drank a little less, and that was it. Right.

We were talking about it with the Peloton guy who says that one of his tricks or one of his methods that got him where he is today is he wakes up every morning and goes to the sink and takes 40 handfuls of water and just drinks them and and he's like that's how I start my day and I think that's a humongously important thing to get going and And I'm like, no, dude, you're just successful, and you're saying that that's what got you successful. No, it's not. Because guess what?

I drink a full bottle of water every morning. I guarantee you that's more water than 40 fucking handfuls. I mean, I just did 10, and it was a whole process. I spilled a lot. I mean, I guess if he's over the sink. I just drink a fucking bottle of water. Just drink like a normal human, you dumbass. And I'm getting more water. I guarantee, I guess if he's over the sink, but I just drink a bottle of water. Just drink like a normal human. You dumb.

And I'm getting more water. I guarantee you. I'm more hydrated than you. I'm getting more. That is without a doubt. The I'm not kidding this time. The biggest asshole move I've heard of the week. And I, we talked about a cannibal.

This you are asshole of the week. Peloton, man. I take 40 handfuls of water and it's like you see those what is this is it like you know i feel like an animal like i might tap into my primal what was it what's his thing i don't remember pft was reading i forget exactly what a dumb dickhead but it's also all those things worth like a billion i'm sure you know that's why you have those books like the seven habits of highly successful people which like that but you know that's just people

who got successful and then say they do a weird quirky thing and I think that's kind of what it's too it's like you got successful I worked hard

I don't know you just you probably got lucky you did what worked for you I would love people who live forever and it's like sometimes it's like

how did you live to 110 it's like well I eat organic and I go for I walk for four hours a day and I do this and then it's like how did you live to 112 I drink a bottle of whiskey and a bacon whiskey and cigarettes it's like well i eat organic and i go for i walk for four hours a day and i do this and then it's like how do you live to 112 i drink a bottle of whiskey and a bacon whiskey and cigarettes yeah

like it's like you just got old and you think what got you old is what got you there you're one you're one person you know if there was if if if 90 of people who live to 100 all drank whiskey and cigarettes and i'm like all right maybe there's a correlation. You just happen to live to a hundred. I don't fucking know. It's like, it's like, uh, well, if, if Portnoy wrote a book right now,

like how to become a hundred millionaire and what, you know, I don't know. Fucking just like be an asshole to everybody. Like start a website, gamble incessantly and talk about it. You know, it's like,

no, that's just what works for him. It works for you. Yeah. Entertaining. Yeah. It's not that those aren't the things that you do to get successful no that's just what works for him for you and like entertaining yeah it's not that those aren't the things that you do to get successful it's and be entertaining one i want someone to write one of those books first and then become a million yeah yeah or then live to 100 and then i'll believe your shit you got to write that book first and then publish it when

you're done that call your fucking shot that would be cocky if you were like bam like you see the date on this and it was like yeah i wrote this in like 1995 and i'd be like all right now i believe you you just wrote that shit after the fact anybody could do that 40 sips of water from your hand what a dumb asshole next and i mean by the way like good luck to that guy yeah that's a that's a tough one i would i but it did sound like there's an end to it. He sounded like he wanted this a little bit. Well, yeah. Because I think he's just like, I'm going to get through this. But how about get in contact with us and I'll send you a 3XL fucking shirt for you and your fat tumor.

What's up, boys? I just got a quick question for you. So last weekend, out with my friends, having a few drinks, and one of my friends brought this girl over with her, smoking hot, completely out of my league to the point where I wouldn't have even tried to play with her if I had the opportunity to. So fast forward a little bit. We're all pretty drunk at this point, and I was teaching her about this game.

We play a drinking game called Ride the Bus where you pretty much, the object of the game is to fuck somebody into having to make them drink. And I said that to her and she just says, stone-faced, I'd fuck you. And I just kind of didn't know what to say.

I quickly said, I'd fuck you too. And then she said, you want my number? Gave her my number. And turns out she took it back like 10 minutes later. So I just wanted

to know if that's ever happened to you guys, why that happened to me, and what... Yeah, that's pretty much it. Dude, what, did you piss on her stuff? I was going to say, boy, you had a bad 10 minutes. So a couple things. First of all, I hate when people say she's out of my league, and this is proof positive why. Because you don't know, first of all, you had a bad 10 minutes. So a couple things. First of all, I hate when people say she's out of my league,

and this is proof positive why. Because you don't know. First of all, you don't know what that person's like and what they think of you. Unless, I mean, I guess you have a good sense of when you're in someone's league. Yeah, you can say she's out of my league, and you can still get in that league for a bit.

Yeah, and you can think it. Leagues are like what we were discussing earlier. Like, you got my league. I know my lane. Right, but you also, so you can say it. you can think like what we're discussing earlier like you got yeah you know my league i know my lane right but you also so you can say it you can think it i don't know you should say it and i never think you should not give it a try because girls are crazy girls fuck ugly guys all the time girls fuck the funny fat guy girls fuck the ugly rich guy you might have some other shit going for you i don't know it's very i think it's kind of different with with with the genders where it's like you know you're not really gonna catch a like really handsome guy with an unfortunate looking girl that usually doesn't happen i would say that

much more the opposite way you know rare right so i don't think god should ever be good but just because we're largely uglier yes so you say they have to settle you have to settle so in their mind they're already settling for like this guy well he's not that much worse so maybe i'll fuck him too so i just think you should always go into it like maybe not to be so blindly optimistic like everyone's in my league be like she's out of my league but i can get in that league for a little bit of time like you said and then i can have a cup of coffee. And then when you do, you got a Costanza that shit. That dude should have got her number and then been Mr. Mystery

and been like, maybe I'll call you later. Peace! I'm out. And then she's left wanting more. You showed way too much. You went into your bag of tricks and you pulled out too much and she said, I rescind my offer to fuck you. What are you thinking? What could he possibly have done? Like Jim Carrey and Dumb and Dumber?

Like he's lighting farts on fire. What could you do in a 10 minute span? Seriously. I want him. You know, it could be absolutely not. Could be political. That's the one thing I can think of right now. Yeah.

Conversation goes on and you say something about Trump or liberal or something extreme. And that's the only thing I can think of right now that would make it be instant. Like, never mind. I take it back. I that's right. And it might probably probably ahead of lighting a fart. i can think of right now that would make it be instant like never mind i take it back i i that's right and it might probably probably ahead of fart lighting a fart yeah more so right now and maybe like you weren't like trunk 2020 motherfucker fuck out of here but maybe you just said something you know like you know i really don't i don't think that they what they storm the capital was that bad or something you know something that you didn't think was that bad

but it just set her off but also you have realize, too, you're talking about a pretty impulsive girl. Anyone who just will say, yeah, I'll fuck you. Here's my number. Like, she was, you know, that probably was, too. She probably was broken up with out there looking for some dick. Was like, I'm going to fuck the first guy I see. Like Emma Stone in Crazy Stupid Love, you know? And then, like, she got a text message from the ex being like, you know, we should get back together.

And he was like, never mind. You never know what's going on. That seems like crazy impulsive. So I wouldn't give that one too much thought. Yeah, I knew a girl in high school once who, I don't know if this is ever a medically diagnosed thing, a diagnosable thing, but she said she just could not control impulses.

I think she's just excusing being kind of an asshole. And she's like, brilliant. She's like, that girl is brilliant. I have the, like my brain has like this thing where I can't control my impulses. And we were like,

okay. And she'd just kind of be a dickhead. And we were like, we're like, yeah, it's her. It's like, there's a curve episode of it where Larry,

it's one of the later seasons. I'll say it's season eight, nine, maybe where Larry is dating a girl who is is recognizable i forget what this woman is in uh but her son she always is like he's on the spectrum and larry's like i think he's just a fucking asshole right i think he's just a little shit you use the spectrum to hide behind yeah and i think making up that you have a disease that allows you to just say whatever you want whenever you want but it wasn't even just like say what it what – it was, like, do things.

Like, she just, like, throw a fork and stuff. Like, what? And then – and she did something that actually really made me believe it is that she would always, like, happily take her punishment. Not from us. From, like, the school. And it would be, like, yeah, she threw a glass in the cafeteria. And, like, guess what?

Now you have to, like – one of the big punishments was,ments was you have to walk around campus and just fill a bag of trash. And I'd see her. I'd be like, oh, you want a hand? And she'd be like, no, I like to take my punishments for – it helps me learn. Okay, let me ask you this. Did she ever do something impulsively that harmed her or was negative towards her? Because if that never happened, then I don't believe it. Nothing that sticks out.

It was honestly all kind of just like you're being a dickhead. I guess if your impulse, your brain wouldn't have an impulse to harm yourself. You'd probably have self-preservation there. So it's like I always want to just throw a punch or throw a thing or smash this or do that. And she was a cool

girl. I had fun hanging out with her. It was just always like sometimes something crazy might happen. i still this kind of reminds me of like the the um never-ending orgasm syndrome that i was like i don't believe this and a lot of people like now it's real yeah yeah yeah like if there's anybody out there who have this impulsive disease i have a complete lack of control over my impulses it's called being a dickhead yeah wow but i get i honestly that might now be something you just say is on the spectrum. Yeah, right, right. God, the spectrum is such a catch-all.

I know. Whoever invented the spectrum, bravo, because you can just say that now. Yeah, the whole thing. The whole episode is Larry's just like, I don't think he's on the spectrum at all. I think he's a little asshole. All right, let's start off with our interviews for the day. We got Anthonyackie on the show i'm sure he's a roman man i'm sure he takes care of his body i'm sure he takes care

make sure he has a nice set of hair make sure he gets the job done in the bedroom that's uh that's what a roman man is they uh have they they put together an entire array of medication and supplements and whatnot to help you be the best man you can be. That means help feeling good about yourself, looking the best you can, and performing the best you can. You want a full head of hair? You go to Roman. You want to get your dick up? You go to Roman. You want to last longer in the bedroom? You go to Roman. Right now, you can get their Roman swipes, which are clinically proven swipes that you rub on your dick to help you last longer in bed. They're effective. easy to use they're fast acting and they don't require a prescription they mail to you in a

little box inside of like a little zip up pouch like a little carrier that you can bring them around if you're uh traveling you put them in your uh your dop kit yeah your dop kit i pop open the box pop open the swipe rub it on your dick when it's time to go, and you let it dry. Next thing you know, you last for like 50% longer in bed. Just enough that you can still feel it, but last longer and make sure you get the job done. Can I say something stupid? Yeah. Maybe stupid.

I bet you it's not going to be stupid. Revelatory. Revelatory. I didn't realize that this is like the next level of Trojans. So the Romans were descendants of Trojans. Oh, I didn't think that either. So it's like... Oh, anything else going on?

I don't know. But maybe. Can you Google why Romans called Roman? It's like... I believe Romans descended from Trojans. So that would be like... Now it's like, oh, you... Yeah, the city of Troy was...

I thought Troy was Greek. The Greek Empire. I'm not sure exactly. But if that's the way they came up with this name that's fucking cool it's like yeah we're we're the more advanced they should run with that we're the next level that's not the case they should run with it yeah it's probably like a dude named like joe roman started whatever they we took what the trojans do and we went to the next level with it. We made aqueducts. Yeah. We are the fucking empire, bro. They are an empire right now of men's health and wellness, and you can get down with them for just five bucks with the new swipes

when you go to GetRoman.com slash KFC. That's GetRoman.com slash KFC for your first month of swipes for just five bucks. What's up, man? What are you chomping on right now what's up guys what's your snack of choice what are you eating the worst dude the worst they're the worst we have them in our office all the time and i don't want them but i need something salty and i get those and i hate it you know what that means our boy is hungry you must be hungry if

you're if you're reduced if you're stooping down to the Fritos, man. They're so good. You're saying the worst, like you like them and it's bad for you, or you think it's a bad snack? No, no, no. I like it and it's bad for me, and everybody else hates them. Yeah. Yeah, so that's good for you because the Fritos are always left. Exactly.

Yeah. And I get the box of like 25 of my kids don't eat the Fritos. So that's all I eat. Yes. That's exactly what happens in the office. The best thing in life is to love whatever is like what everyone else hates. It's always left over. It's like more for me, man.

Potato chips. Who the hell eats plain potato chips? This guy. What's your favorite brand of potato chips so in new orleans we have zaps potato chips i've never even heard of that but i had the voodoo style right i bet that's good shit no the best one is the craw taters oh i haven't had those so it's potato chips but with a crawfish seasoning on it. Mmm. Yo.

Yeah, see, that's... Can I actually tell you something that's probably sacrilegious? This past weekend, I ordered a crawfish boil in New York City. Oh, that's probably terrible. And I bet it was like... It was at like a bar probably, right? No, it's right across... So I live like across the street from this restaurant called like Hot and Juicy Crawfish or something like that. I had to be terrible.

And it's actually like a pretty highly rated. I actually asked my friend from New Orleans. I was like, look at the reviews. It's like, are you thinking it's going to be good? Are you thinking I'm going to get food poisoning? He's like, I think it looks fine. I don't know, dude. I'm not a chef, but it looks probably all right.

They were tiny little crawfish, but it was pretty good still. It was nice. It's like getting barbecue in Brooklyn. No. No, no, no, no, no. Don't do it. Don't do it. That's offensive on so many levels.

There's this place in New York. It's on Houston and Christie, and it's called the Crab Boil or something like that. And I walked past there one night. I'm like, yo, what are you doing? They're like, oh, it's a seafood boil place. I'm like, yo, you're not, get out of here. You're not boiling seafood in New York. What the fuck are you doing? That's not crawfish. But you know what? I'm like, how long? There's probably some hipsters in New York who think that's delicious. They don't know any better. And they're like, no, no, no.

It's authentic. It's authentic. I promise you. It's like, no, it's fucking not. Line out the door. What are you doing? That is so offensive. That's so outrageous to me.

That's like me. No, go ahead, please. I would say, go ahead. I'm sorry for interrupting you. I was going to say, that's like me no go ahead please i would say go ahead i'm sorry for interrupting you i was gonna say that's like me opening like a cat's deli in new orleans like the instead of bake like i just make the bagels all thin and floppy like what are you doing but you know in new york we like and i'm not from new york i'm from boston but i've been here for four or five years now and new york we like to and I'm not from New York. I'm from Boston, but I've been here for four or five years now. In New York, we like to think we invented everything.

Oh, yeah. Like it is – I mean just recently there was the viral tweet that was like, where do people in New York go when they – because they don't have bodegas. So where do they go to get their chips, toilet paper, and a Coke? It was like, I don't know, man. Any gas station. Like anywhere in the world. Like every store.

CVS. CVS. You can just go anywhere and get those three things. But we're like, no. We have the unique spots here in New York City. It's the worst, man. It's the worst. I've been here my whole life, and I'm so sick of people like that. It's not that fucking great, man.

I promise you. Now, if you said a bodega with a cat running around in it, that's probably pretty unique to New York. But not the snacks, though, man. We have so many New Yorkers in New Orleans right now. It's become like an epidemic. So everywhere you go, you see these yellow license plates. So now they started a movement called Yellow License Plates Must Leave. Wow. Like New Yorkers, you got wow like new yorkers you gotta go back

home you gotta go back home dog you can't stay dude you cannot stay when i was in i went to fsu and so when i was in living in florida they had to stop you know how like on rental cars they put like the little enterprise sticker on the back and stuff like that yeah i had to stop putting those on rental cars because people were running them off the road. They're like, get out of our state. It was crazy. And I had a Massachusetts license, but I was like, this is fucking, I'm taking Ubers everywhere. So wait, are the New Yorkers, are they just like taking over and being assholes?

Like they're not being very friendly guests, I guess, huh? So New Orleans is a cultural city. There are certain things that we do and it's a part of the culture. So if there's a street musician outside at midnight playing music, he's playing for money. That's a part of the culture that's like me coming to new york and telling the bodega you gotta close at 8 p.m because i work in the morning part of the culture yeah so you know there's so many people from the northeast moving here since covid and even before but now like since katrina is just unflux of like, so now they're going to city council and they're like, we need the street musicians to stop playing at 9.

AM because Martha has to go to bed. That's, that's crazy. That that's, that's surprising to hear that New Yorkers are, I mean like we're used to the worst street performers and the worst, you know what I mean? Like,

I can't believe that they got a problem with loud noises or people. Your neighbor in Times Square. Yeah. Your neighbor. Right, right, right, right. Exactly. It's like if you move two blocks off of Urban, you can't call the police if somebody pissed on your step.

Yeah, right. That's just how it goes. If you go to Times Square, if you're hanging out by Port Authority and you get robbed, you can't call the police. Part of the culture, baby. Part of the culture. Some dude puts a CD in your hand and you start walking away,

and he's like, hey, where's my five bucks? You owe him five dollars. Yeah. I love it, man. So, yo, things are going good for you, man. I mean, you're getting that Disney Plus money. You're getting that Netflix money. So you got Outside the Wire coming out, which looks like a good old-fashioned, fun Netflix movie that's just going to entertain the shit out of people.

It's a good time. And my thing is, like, I grew up in the day of, you know, Terminator. I grew up in the day of you know uh terminator i grew up in the day of mad max i grew up in the day of like robocop good fun popcorn movies that you can chill even if you watch today they're still enjoyable you know die hard you know your independence day those just tentpole action fun movies and this is one of those this is one of those movies and it works on so many different levels because um it's a really good script really good story really good time and the action sequences are just crazy that's what i i've read we didn't get a screen screen so i haven't seen it but i was reading the review uh in variety i think and they were like

it comes out the gate and just kicks your ass. The opening scene is apparently a battle scene. And those, Anthony, are my movies. Those are my fucking movies. This dude I can't even trust sometimes. He's like, it's amazing! I'm like, everything is amazing! He loves

all those movies. If it was up to him, every Fast and the Furious would win the Oscar every year. He loves that shit. Yeah. But I'd like, and actually, like, as we were going through... I don't know about all that. Oh, no, I do, Anthony! I do! And as a man who's been in also,

like, you do it both. Like, you've been in these fun movies, and you're also in, like, a lot of Oscar movies where you get nominated for a lot of different things, but I, like, going through your IMDb, I was just like, Pain and Gain? Yup. Eagle Eye? Yup. These are my movies, bro.

You were Triple Nine, right? Yeah, you were. That's hilarious. Good, fun movies, man. That's what it's about i remember i think that's what it's about i think triple nine was one of the netflix's earlier like we're really committing to movies movies and that came out and i was like oh yeah no i'm all aboard this movement this is this is right up my alley because my thing, why do you buy an 80-inch TV? Why do you buy a 42-inch couch?

Why do you buy a 7.8 Dolby Digital surround sound system to watch, like, the Queen's Gambit? That don't make sense. Yeah, I can watch it on my ipod nano right i love the queen's gambling i watched it i literally binged it again last week but i don't need it in dobi digital you watch it for action you bought all of that shit for action movies to see. And one thing I know is this, like, you know, everybody likes to see a black dude kicking ass. Everybody, everybody. If you think about it, dude, if you think if everybody knows who Shaft is, everybody knows who Superfly is. Everybody knows who Kojak is.

Everybody knows who Spawn is. Will Smith kicking ass. Equal. Will Smith, kicking ass. Equalizer. Denzel kicking ass. Watching Denzel kick ass. One of my favorites, baby. When he comes back and he slips that hammer back into Home Depot, oh, what a move.

See what I mean? That black dude, you standing in Home Depot like that black dude just finished kicking somebody. That's great. But despite how great you are in all these movies, you're also a Juilliard-trained actor, which isn't kind of how you'd think that someone in an action movie. Traditionally, you don't think someone in an action movie is like went to Juilliard. How do you, like, how do you, I guess how did you use it,

but I know the answer, so I'm just setting it up. Because I was reading an interview with you where you were talking about learning to land like Falcon. And you said a quote, and I'm going to get it because I want to, I got a lot of questions here. You said you were learning to use your core, and you flipped, you smashed your head into the dirt, everyone laughed at you.

But the quote that stuck out to me was, being the weird actor I am, I went back to my mime and clown days. What are the mime and clown days, Anthony? Tell us about the mime and clown days, Falcon. What do you got? How does that work? And why don't you break out some miming for us, bro?

I guess everybody started somewhere. We started somewhere, man, in the subway for quarters. I had three amazing teachers, one of which we made a documentary about. His name is Moni Yakeem. He was my movement teacher at Juilliard. Then I had a combat teacher at Juilliard named Felix Ivanov, who worked in Russia. And then I worked with Dickie Ellis, who was the head clown at the Big Apple Circus that used to be in Lincoln Center. Oh, yeah.

So, you know, with mime work, with clown work, with movement work, with stage combat work, it's all about body control. And, you know, when you're doing these action movies, no one has taught you how to learn like a bird. That's not something we do. But if you have

any kind of training, you can watch a video of a bird and be like, alright. He flips his wings back he throws his legs up his tail comes down he slows down he lands bet put me on a fucking rope i got at it now dog you literally you literally have to go back and study birds land. You have to watch National Geographic and look at birds, get past all the bird sex stuff, and watch them land while they're flying. And it's

a whole different ballgame after that. Dude, it is like, because you just think people think of the action movies and it's all green screen and CGI. They don't think about you watching birds have sex. You're like, I gotta get my body movements right, You know, there's footage of me somewhere coming in.

Like this is the ground. So they lift me up 20 feet off the ground. They let me go. And I do that. So when we're shooting, they lift me up and they're like, ah, you're still in frame.

Go higher, higher, higher. So shooting they lift me up and they're like ah you're still in frame go higher higher higher so fucking higher than we did it in rehearsal so joe russo goes yeah you're all right mackie i guess so yeah i come in and it's the scene where roadie got shot so i'm supposed to come in laying and then iron man like shoots me right so i come in and i'm like yo i'm coming in really fast so the stunt dude didn't pull my chest up fast enough for my legs to come under to land so i literally did this i hope you're getting paid like hazard pay or some shit, man.

Work this comp, dude. Put it somewhere, dude. I literally did that. My face just went crack, crack, crack, crack, crack. Just skipping rocks with Anthony Mackie's face. God damn, man. Speaking of getting your start, though, we were looking back through your history, and it seems like 8 Mile was the first major thing you did.

You didn't have, at least according to your IMDB page, did you have many roles before that? It said, like, Bar Patron was your previous gig, and then, boom, Papa Doc. I feel like that's quite a leap. Who did you pay off I was um when we were at Juilliard my friends and I wrote this play my friend Michael DeVille Wynn wrote this play called Up Against the Wind. And all of us got together and rehearsed it and put it on. And then Jim Nicola down at New York Theatre Workshop saw the play, moved it from Juilliard off Broadway. Then Molly Finn, who was cast in 8 Mile at the time, came to see the play because it was a play about Tupac. I was playing Tupac. She saw me and

said she wanted me to audition for Curtis Hanson for 8 Mile. Wow. So just like the butterfly effect of like a small-time play. Like if that doesn't get moved off, if you're not doing that, if she doesn't come to see you that night, who fucking knows what happens next?

Yeah. Just from us. And it's crazier than that. So I was a freshman. We used to sit in our dorm room, drink and like write this play. We would rap. We would read lines. We would do all this shit. Michael would go back. Right. Every night we would do this. Wasted. So then he finishes the play, finishes the play. We do a reading. Showtime comes to see the reading.

And they're like, yo, we would love to make this in a movie, but we want to see the play we do a reading uh showtime comes to see the reading and they're like yo we would love to make this in a movie buddy we want to see the play so the dude who was actually playing tupac i was playing biggie and let me say i was a great biggie yeah i'm you can ask anybody i murdered biggie right so i was reading biggie this other dude was reading Tupac. He graduated. Okay. And I asked to read Tupac. So then I became Tupac. We do the play.

It moved off Broadway. I got eight miles. Wow. Dude, that's fucking insane. And did you know when you got eight miles? I mean, obviously, there's some big names in there, andem was on like top of the world but I mean even like looking back on it now when that's a show like when it pops on TNT I'm like waiting for the final scenes because I got to watch the rap battles did you know it was gonna be like iconic like that or cult classic type shit where it's gonna last this long no we had so much fun dude all of us you know we're getting like 400 bucks a week per diem, which we thought we were rich.

Right. And then, you know, we we were getting paid on top of that. They gave us a rental car and a hotel room and we were making a movie that we're rich. We're balling. Right. So we were having so much fun. We never knew that the movie was going to turn into what it turned into how old are you playing papa doc 21 wow that's fucking young man shit yeah that was half of my life i'm i'm 42 now i played papa doc at 21 that's that long ago oh my god i wouldn't even guess there's no i remember it's that long ago because when I stood up to say everybody from the 313, I like still had a boner from the Brittany Murphy. I was like a hand up and bent over.

I knew I was young when I saw that shit. I will say one of the best moments in cinematic history was when they're in the office and they're about to have sex and she licks her hand. That's the scene I was talking about, Anthony. Honestly, that's the realest sex scene in history. She licks her hand and it lasts like 10 seconds. I was like, yo, that's how it is. I get it. That's how realest sex scene in history. She licks her hand and it lasts like 10 seconds. I was like, yo, that's how it is. I get it. That's how it goes. You need a little bit of help, but it doesn't last long.

I get it. Yo. I remember seeing that. You know, once you get older, you see it and you're like, oh, shit. Like no one has ever. That is real. That is real. I had never seen one like it and I'd like oh shit like no one has ever that is real that is real i had never seen one like it and i never seen one since like no that's the real no one can't no one can do it

it's the most amazing thing i've ever seen yeah i feel like papa doc was such a uh i mean that's that that name that's so iconic like that was that's a great i feel like looking back on it because now you know you're doing marvel shit and you do it you know who knows what's next for your future but i feel like having papa doc and being a part of that is is going to be something like on your resume that'll stand out forever oh no question i've done over 65 movies and people recognize me most for 8 Mile and Marvel. Yeah. Really? I feel like, I mean, I would imagine when it's all said and done after this, it's going to be Marvel.

But, like, people, the real ones are going to remember that, you know? Yeah. No question. That's how I know if you are real, like a real OG ride or die fan. You come up and say some weird shit from a movie, and it's like, whoa, whoa, you. You know, no. Way to go, kid. You want a drink?

Get this guy a beer. Get this guy a beer. Yo, you be careful what you say. People are going to hear this and come running up to you all the time. I got to say some funny shit to him. I got to say some shit he never heard before. With the Marvel stuff, with where we're going now, I'm not very familiar with the

comics i've seen all the movies but i don't really know the history of it but as i understand you're basically being the past the shield of captain america right well no so this is what's interesting about it uh at the end of end game sam wilson didn't accept this chill he said i don't like the way this field this is your shield is not mine right right so in the series you know we learn if it's going to be bucky if it's going to be the the new captain america or if it's going to be sam or we don't know who's going to take up the shield. So in the series, you learn the plight of the moniker of Captain America while we fight the bad guy. Now, if Chris Evans was America's ass, let's say you become Captain America.

Where do you? Wait. See, you almost got me. I was going to say something. You made me comfortable it almost worked we had this whole plan I said about about 25 minutes and we'll say that it'll work I swear it'll work so close man no look Chris and I laugh and joke about it all the time. I have a much better ass than Chris Evans.

So one day we're going to do the biking short test or the compression short test, and we're going to have everybody choose which is America's ass. Blind test. Blind test. You don't know whose it is. And I think it's going to be, it's going to be a 50, 50 spit. Some people like their pizza lightly toasted. Some people like a little bit of char on their pizza.

You know what I'm saying? So it's all about how you like your buns cooked. I got a, I got a question for you so i i think another article i was reading um another story that's happened to you have you seen will smith since he punched you in the face and could you take him in a fight do tell tony i've seen him once since he punched me in the face. And I will say, I've been in a lot of fights. Dude has a right hook. So this is what happened.

You know how, like, when you see a dude and you're like, yo, what's up? And you go in and do, like, the arm wrestle high five, but you pull him in? Well, yes, we do know that because it's the most tense moment of our lives as white guys like if me and you were to be in person i'd be like don't fuck this up don't fuck this up don't fuck this up are we going in are we going in are we going to do a handshake we do a fishbowl we can do the you're gonna dap and hug don't fuck it up so yes i do know what you're talking about it doesn't come as naturally to us but yes i know so this is what happened this is why i call it an awkward racial moment. So I get so excited to see Will Smith because I literally, look, I love Will Smith.

I think he's amazingly talented. I think from music to the Fresh Prince of Bel-Air to what he's doing now, you can't question 30 years later, Summertime is still a classic. Nightmare on My Street, still a classic. I mean, he made a song about Freddy Krueger that people still bought. Classic, okay? So I love Will Smith. Hands down. So I get a call from my publicist to go meet Will Smith for his birthday and present him with his cake.

So I lose my shit. Actually, we're shooting. We're shooting this movie while we're in Budapest when I get to meet Will Smith. Right. So he comes to me to give me like a high five, like what's up arm thing. I got so excited. i went to hug him so i'm like this and he goes did he take you off your feet literally hit me so hard. Going down. Wow. Saved you.

And he goes, he goes, you good? I'm like, yeah. Are we in a fight? Why are we fighting? Let me know when I'm walking into a fight. I can't just walk up and you sneak me. 30,000 people out here. Oh, my God. Dude, I got i gotta be honest that's that's the whitest move i've ever heard you got punched in the face trying to dab it up that's never even happened to me that's never even happened to me

i told you it was an awkward racial moment he came like literally he so when he realized it was because you know, sometimes you try to dab and you miss and you go again, right? Yeah, yeah. So he came through and he missed and was like, oh. Right hook, man. And then catching you, he's got like, you know what, put me down. Put me down.

Let me fall. Let me fall. Don't hug me. Don't save me. I'm going to sue you, Will Smith. Get some of that money. Get some of that Fresh Prince money he's probably still spending. Dude, next time you see him, whenever COVID's done all this,

next time you see him in an award show, you got to – don't even, like, go in for – like, you just got to sneak up and just run full speed at him. Use that core strength, that bird knowledge you have. Jump up, kick. Boom. Drop kick him. Be be like what up will happy birthday dude but this is what you don't think about if you kick him and he does not fall that's not good i got a good look i think maybe if i kicked will smith he wouldn't fall

anthony i think if you give him Will Smith, he wouldn't fall. Anthony, I think if you give him a dropkick, he's probably going to go down. I don't know. The dude used to be a mime, okay? He's a mime at Juilliard. How tough can he be, all right? I saw the outside the wire trailer. I saw you jacked up. I think you can take Will Smith down with a flying dropkick.

After that right hook hook we're good but before i let you go i just got to talk about one other project you worked on because i think it's one of the more interesting things i've ever seen uh and led to some very funny reactions the episode of black mirror is uh it's it's responsible for one of the greatest lines ever i fucked a polar bear and I couldn't get you out of my mind. And then a lot of the reaction on the internet was very funny. What would people call it? Like Black Mirror Mountain? Black Mirror Mountain, yeah.

Black Broke Mountain, something like that. A lot of people, a lot of buddies busting their balls, joking about like hugging up with their friends. But you've done some crazy sci-fi shit now. Oh, I got to tell you about Altered Carbon too. I feel like that show, man, is so under the radar as one of the greatest sci-fi things ever it's intense and it's weird you got to really dive in and like figure out what the fuck is going on but you've done a lot of cool sci-fi shit but that black mirror episode man that was a wild one that was that was one of those ones where you're like hell yeah the future's gonna be sick like me and my boys just playing like actual fighting video games and then you get 20 minutes into it and you're like

there was there was one reaction there was one reaction he read on reddit that was like i almost texted my buddy five minutes into that episode being like yo the new black mirror is awesome you gotta watch it he's like i'm happy i saved that text message for a few minutes later now i'll tell you what so i was in the airport in atlanta uh flying out to uh la about two weeks after it came out so i just bought my sons these uh sidekicks right the the little joints so i'm going out stopping in new orleans to see my boys and give them the sidekicks there's a dude sitting across from me and he's playing his little joint so he's playing he's playing and i'm just sitting there sitting there and he goes he literally he literally took his game

and did this Anthony you should have hit him with that Brittany Murphy move Anthony's publicist right now is like get the fuck off this interview get this interview over with that would have been amazing. That's funny shit.

How much do your kids love the whole Falcon thing and the Marvel shit? They must love this, huh? You know what? It's weird. Do you guys have kids? I got little ones. How old are your kids? My kids are 11. Big big ones are 11 and eight.

Okay. I got five and three. So. Okay. So it'll get to a point in your life where you won't be able to do this. And everything you do, you will do for your kids. And it's happened with everyone. Robin Williams, Eddie Murphy, all of them used to do this crazy, raunchy stuff. Then they had kids and all of a sudden they do millennial man. All of a sudden they do. You know what I mean? So I'm at the point now to where everything I do, I just look at my kids and I'm like, do you like it? Like, I don't care about anybody else. If my son's like, Dad, that was dope.

Then you know. Yeah. Then you know. Yeah. Then I know. Yeah. Like, I'm waiting. My 11-year-old, 8-year-old, I'm going to pop some popcorn, you know, get the juice boxes out, bring the cooler in the living room, turn on Outside the Wire. Be like, all right, I need a review. They love action. Like, they just, they love that stuff. Yeah. So we'll see. I'm excited for them to see it. All right, I need a review. They love action. They love that stuff.

We'll see. I'm excited for them to see it. All right, man. The movie will be out tomorrow at the time you listen to this. Of course, everything to come with Marvel and Falcon on Disney Plus in the future and everything else you're going to be in. I think you're about to have yourself a pretty nice run, my man. I think things are

going to be pretty good for you. Thanks for the time. We appreciate it. They've been so bad for so long, so you've earned it. Thanks a lot, dude. Thank you very much, Anthony. Have a good one, dude. I'll be safe. You too.

All right, shout out to Falcon. That dude is on top of the game right now. Anybody, man, how incredible must it be when your agent calls you and is like, you got the role, you're in the Marvel Universe. Right. Because it's like one thing to get in the movie, and he's a big part agent calls you and is like, you got the role. You're in the Marvel Universe. Right. Or when you hear the rumors. Because it's like one thing to get in the movie.

He's a big part of Captain America and stuff like that. But now you're your own guy. Now we have Falcon and the Winter Soldier. That's also got to be great when you know you're like a side character at first, but your time's coming. Yeah. It's like, oh, we got all these new streaming services, these new spinoffs, this new director. It's my time to shine.

And the previews i've seen of that show like it's it's just a marvel movie it's a show but they're just bringing it up into 10 parts it's still produced by it's still directed it's everything's done by disney like it's still matt you just have that idea where it's just like i think i said i've been watching entourage and they're like doing a big thing where it's like vince is like i'm not going back to tv which is such an archaic idea. Right. Now it's like you want to do that over movies.

Everyone gets to TV. I mean, even you can, the idea that TV is different. It's like you watch movies on TV now. You can still be a movie star, but we're going to watch it from our living room. So don't fucking knock the TV. Like we said, most important television, most important invention in the world.

That's how I watched Stone Cold Steve Austin in the Attitude Era. That's how I watched him wrestle. That's how I watched Stone Cold Steve Austin in the Attitude Era. That's how I watched him wrestle. That's how I watch him now on his television show, Straight Up Steve Austin. So Stone Cold's back. If you listened already, listen again, because Stone Cold's the man.

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What's up, my man? How we doing brother? What in the wide, wide world of sports is going on here? Well, what in the fucking world is going on period right now shit is getting crazy brother so uh how are you doing man how you been man i'm good i'm out of my place here in nevada just kind of kicking it and uh i was gonna say that's the spot to be right now and probably for the last year or so you've probably just been posted up chilling man i've been riding my buggies a lot and uh i'm looking forward to i've been talking about

this show for a while and talk about again uh next monday on the on the season premiere so i'm excited about it you know after all the stuff that the world has been through in 2020 and then uh we got greenlit for season two. And right when we were going to get everybody booked and start, we got stopped and it changed everything. So finally we were able to start and operate in a safe fashion and get the goddang show in the can. So I'm excited I got a chance to work in 2020, get a paycheck, and have a ton of fun with all my guests.

And it finally gets to come out on TV. So I'm in a happy place there, but Hey, the world's kind of messed up, but we don't need to talk about that. No, not, you know, out there on the ranch, uh, chopping it up with stone cold is, I mean, and you speak to the guests, I feel like season one, you know, we spoke before you, you launched it. Uh, and it was great, but season two, I feel like as it's, it's on a whole other level, some of the names that you've gotten and it just seems like the status has really taken off.

And you can tell. You know, it's really cool. And I love all the guests on my season one because, you know, all they had to look at was a pilot that we shot a couple of years back and we didn't know really what the show was. So now when if maybe someone didn't hear of me or didn't watch my career or whatever, they can say, you know, you can give them a season's worth of shows and you can give them the numbers that correlate with it. Cause we kicked ass in a rating and say, here's the show here. What it is, here's what it is.

And they, they can actually know what they're getting themselves into. And they know that they're going to get themselves into a good time. We're going to do great things. We're going to talk about their accomplishments or their what they've you know journey to to get to where they're at or where they came from and have a good time and i tell each guest before we start up i say hey man and we don't have a ton of fun doing this we're doing something wrong so i think with the body of work, you can go bigger. Did Burt Kreischer even know you were filming? Or was he just – Burt Kreischer lives.

Yeah. Dude, we're standing around in a swimming pool. That's part of – on the trailer. We're standing in a swimming pool, and that guy, he says so much stuff that didn't make camera. And we're drinking beer and eating a steak and i'm spitting out half the beer he's making me laugh so god dang much he was an absolute riot and i always thought he was funny to begin with but when you hang out with him it's like next level right that guy's dropping bombs the whole day now he says he has the mickey mantel gene i

don't know if he brings this up on the show but he says he has the mickey mantel gene which means he's great at everything how did he do on the ranch oh he did great yeah he did great you can do it all it's weird you know he picks up a bat he can swing it he shoots a basket he can do it he can he's strong he can drink he can party, he's weird. He can do it all. He's the machine. Yep. He really is. And you know what? On top of it, he's got the persona and the personality and the gift of gab to boot.

So when the stories get going with Burt, I would imagine, and I'd imagine that's much like yourself. You've been all over the place. You've been all over the world. You've had an interesting life. When the stories start flowing, that's when the real fun starts yeah it's all the stories and you know obviously being a touring comedian he's had so much practice at it and he's done it so many times that man when you can start telling a story but when you've told it for so long you can add the different add different layers to it and it always stays consistent, that's when you really become

a fascinating or funny storyteller. And he's, out of one out of ten storytelling, I give him a nine-nine. Yeah. What, like, you mentioned that these guests now have a, they can look at season one and they have some work to go off of,

but I would imagine, and maybe I'm just speaking for myself, you could come to me with fucking nothing, Steve. I don't need a pilot. I don't need ratings. If you said, we're just going to go to my ranch and do some shit with Stone Cold, I feel like a lot of people would just be like, yes, I'm in. I want to do it. How many of your guests seemed eager eager to just you know live the stone cold experience

man most of them were really cool yeah and you know maybe it's because they have seen uh season one but they just you know like i said we're just we're out there to have a good time and to shine a light on them and also help them promote whatever you know they've got going and you're they're giving you anywhere from six to ten hours of their life and so you want to make it a good time but yeah if everybody was like you i mean i can get anybody in the world on the show giving you anywhere from six to 10 hours of their life. And so you want to make it a good time. But yeah, if everybody was like you, I mean, I can get anybody in the world on the show. Well, I mean, I think you could.

Earlier in this, you said like maybe who they didn't follow my career. They haven't heard of me or whatever. They know. Stone Cold, you're talking about three people, maybe, in the world, who just like don't know exactly what you're about. I know. I just, I don't look at myself like that right yeah maybe the other people do but i i don't well that's i think that's what makes you you i feel like that's why you're able to have kind of this second uh part of your career where you know you're pretty still down to

earth and pretty self-deprecating i mean yeah steve you're you're a pretty cool fucking cat you're pretty legendary man i mean most people are going to know your story. I think you guys are going to be up front enough with me. If I ever do turn into a blowhard, you'll be the first to tell me. I'll tell you. No, I won't. I will be terrified to tell you. You're very wrong. Maybe over Zoom.

You know what else? As we're wrapping up, I'll be like, hey, Steve, you're a blowhard. I'll end it. But do you feel that at all like I think that there's kind of two different parts of you in the sense of like one one is the way you look and the way then and the back uh the wrestling background and just being like a badass motherfucker but this other side of you is like you're very interested and you in other people you want to talk you want to learn you want to do you know it almost seems, and maybe it's because Stone Cold is a character,

but I would never have imagined that you would have this second act of being into, like, podcasting and the internet. And I would imagine you have just go out to the ranch and do ranch stuff. But it seems like there's this other side of you that's really interested in, you know, media and a brand and all that. Do you feel like there's two different side of you that's really interested in you know media and a brand and and all that do you feel like there's two different parts of steve austin man i guess it's two different parts it's the same guy now hell i'd love to be stone cold 24 7 3 we already get paid to do it yeah but you know i don't really facilitate a great conversation being stone cold steve austin what i'm always getting getting bottom line and wanting everybody. You know, I can be, you know, pretty, very intense.

But, you know, as Steve Austin, the guy where Stone Cold comes from, man, I am curious. I love people. I love being away from people as well. But I like hearing stories and like, man, when you're hanging out with this list of guests that I have and I've seen everything that they've done, it's just to get a chance to pick their brain and do some things with them

is really cool to me. And I would have never figured because when I got out of business pro wrestling and I had to pull the plug on myself because of just some neck problems and stuff like that. But it took me a long time to turn you know, turn back into a civilian. It was hard. That was the hardest thing in the world for me. I didn't have an exit strategy.

When I got into business, I only had one plan, to be a pro wrestler. There was no plan B. So when I got, you know, injured and needed to get retired, I didn't have an exit strategy to go to the next phase because I wasn't thinking that. And so to think that, you know, I'd start podcasting, you know, people would realize, hey, the dude actually has a sense of humor. He's not mad all the time.

He's not drunk all the time. He's not saying what all the time. You know, he can actually, you know, facilitate a conversation and do a few things. It was a growing process. And, you know, when I first went out to L.A., half times I'd go into meetings for stuff. This is when I first went out to L.A., half times I'd go into meetings for stuff. This is when I first went out to L.A. 16 years ago.

They thought, you know, that I was going to be that guy. And I think the podcast kind of helped me break down some of those walls. And they're like, you know what? Dude, you know, he's kind of down to earth. He can be funny, and he'll ask some good questions every now and then. It's not always about me. So it's fun to be able to go through that process, and I'm glad people have accepted me as that guy

because if there's one thing that I am, I'm 100% authentic, and I ain't never faking shit. Have you noticed a drastic change in your – not drastic, but a change at all in your fan base? Because, like, my girlfriend is obsessed with your show. She loves the show. This is the coolest thing I've ever done to her, is talking to you.

She's a young girl who is not necessarily a stone-cold Steve Austin fan. She's a Steve Austin fan. She loves straight-up Steve Austin. Have you noticed a lot of that demographic change? Man, that's a great compliment. I'll still get, and I'm happy for it because of the network, because of the video games.

A dude came up to me. We were talking. He goes, man, my son is your biggest fan. So I'm figuring the kid's got to be 20-something, right? And I said, how old is he? He goes, he's five. I'm like, I'm not calling bullshit. I like you know how's it you know i retired in 03 dude and uh he goes no through the through the network and through the video games uh you know

i don't know what it is but but now that i've been out of the ring for so long it's kind of like well i'll just say say it because a lot of people it's just people there's a lot of people, it's just people, there's a lot of people who do remember me just for this show. And I love that because, you know, I can be stone cold. I can't be him all day long because I'm not him anymore, but I can't, I can't live on that forever. It'll always be a part of me. And I gotta, I gotta do what I'm doing now. And I'm being me. So the fact that I can create a fan base by being me hanging out with a guest,

that's, that's very cool to me and means I've succeeded at the next level. I, I would probably, I wouldn't ever go as far to say it's a blessing in disguise. Cause I'm sure it was a lot of pain and a lot of anguish and, and hard to leave the ring with the injury, but it's an industry where I feel like people hold on for so long.

You got guys who are wrestling into their 60s, they just, you know, like Goldberg coming back, and I feel like sometimes the fans would rather you move on, and it probably sucked in the time because you probably felt like it was cut short and pain and all that, but I think in a weird way,

it kind of jump-started you to get to the second act and in the long run might end up being better for at least the career aspect. You know, maybe it kept me from getting beat up anymore, but I wasted, hell, three or four years after that just fucking off. And when I moved into L.A., I messed around in San Antoniotonio for a while just

kill some time you know doing some some things to kill time and i said hey man you better get your ass out to la because i never i never had any plans on being an actor not like that but i just knew that after finally getting over being out of the business i need to get to la because i don't want to go back to driving that forklift. And I called DDP, Diamond Dallas Page up. And he goes, shit, bro, come in and rent a room for me. I got a two-bedroom condo. And I said, hell yeah, I'm in. And so when I went out to Dallas, hell, I wasted another year in LA

just hanging out and drinking. Doing a lot of yoga? This is the Steve Austin yoga. Up, down, up, down. I was there. I would be walking downstairs to make my breakfast, and Diamond Dallas Page, DDP, would be in his office already working on yoga for regular guys way back in the day, right?

That was DDP yoga. And I just shake my head as I went there to go get some coffee. I'm thinking, this motherfucker. He ain't going to make no money in yoga. And now look at him now. get some coffee. I'm thinking, this motherfucker. He ain't going to make no money in yoga. He ain't going to give a shit about it. And now look at him now. He's helped out probably hundreds of thousands of people, high-profile athletes.

It's amazing. But I was there, and I was thinking, man, the dude's putting all his money in this. And they always say, don't put your money in this. Use other people's money. I just went in. Did you ever get him a coffee when you were pouring yourself one? I might have. Okay, now you're an assistant there you go you're an assistant you were there at the ground floor you deserve equity i'm calling him right after i continue talking to you guys

um one of the things i think a lot of athletes struggle with after their career or at least they say is that it's not even so much the game, it's the locker room they miss. Is the wrestling locker room like that too? Is there like the brotherhood, or do you guys kind of go your own separate ways afterwards? No, 100%. You do go your separate ways because I only stay in contact with a few people,

but when we see each other at the reunions, it's just like time never passed passed we're all back on the same page but yeah man you just miss running up that road because you gotta look you know to be on a professional sports team that's that's you know or any kind of team that's kind of doing something unique or high level it's different pro wrestling is different in and of itself and to be at the top and it's the the best company in the world uh you're traveling around with like-minded people and then it's that it's that circle and you might not all get along but you're on the same team and if somebody from the outside's fucking with somebody from the inside

you know everybody's got each other's back so there is a brotherhood and there's competition and there's animosity and there's jealousy and there's everything that goes with it but the the biggest thing is we're all in this together and it is a brotherhood to answer your question. It is about the locker room. It is about the arenas, hanging around, you know, whether it's dipping, chewing, drinking coffee to kill time, wait for the crowd to get in there to kick it off or start a TV taping.

Yeah, it's a lot about that. How does it work? You know, you mentioned, you just said that there is some animosity at times and you don't always get along, but I feel like when you're in the ring with someone, it's got to be a level of trust and some sort of cooperation that goes on

or someone's going to get fucking hurt. Have you ever encountered, had you ever encountered like, I don't like this guy, we're not on the same page personally, but now he and I have got to, you know, put on a show and fight. And how hard can that be? No, I've never been that place in my career.

By animosity, I mean, like, you know, if you're on the card or you're traveling and then someone that you think is beneath you or someone else is getting a major push. And you're kind of just like, you know, that can be, you know, the creative little animosity or a little, really? Yeah. Yeah. So there's that. And the closest thing I can think of to when, uh, like a situation, like you were talking about two guys that didn't really care for each other, like Brett and Sean. I remember one time, I think they went to the ring and everybody's like, oh man, it's

going to be a shoot. it's gonna be badass. It wasn't because the business is a work. And those guys were, that was just like on a one night thing. Those guys did that Iron Man match work for 60 minutes. Anytime you put those two guys in a ring, they lit it up and it was a five star classic. So yeah, being like that don't work in a ring. Now, when a guy gives you a potato and it's the wrong potato or too many potatoes and you give him a live one back, but then you get back on the same page

and everything's cool. Well, I feel like recently there was Behind the Mat was a documentary. Maybe not so recently, but in recent years, the wrestling fans have been talking about the time that The Rock and Mankind were going at it. And there was kind of this thought that maybe The Rock had taken it a little too far and Mankind, it went a little too extreme with the chair shots. How does that kind of work where it's like, yeah, it's scripteded but also there's a little bit of improvising and if one guy's taking it too far or one guy's too extreme or something along those lines like how does that play out before during and after where it's like what was what was that about and i think uh on that occasion you're talking about with the chairs with the handcuffs right oh you know that was brutal that was hard to watch and i think i was i think i was working

that that night or getting ready for something. I don't remember if I was watching it that night or just remember watching it after. That was kind of like one of those deals where as one of the boys, you're like, man, this is a little much. But then on the other hand, they're thinking, hey, man, we're really trying to push the envelope. I can respect what they're doing, but also on the other hand, I'm like, what were you doing? Yeah. Right. Kind of a two way street. Right. You know, so I can look at it from both, both sides of the spectrum. I get it. But also this, that's a little too much. Oh,

case in point, but not to, uh, the violence of that was when Coleman pulled out the gun when I broke into his house. Yeah. He was like, what are you doing? I was like, hey, but we're trying to entertain you. Yeah, but there was like a gunshot on TV or whatever. And I'm breaking into his house with a bat. A lot of people thought that was over the edge.

I thought it was just right. I mean, as a fan, that was amazing. And even I hate to say it because it's it's it probably contributes to it but that you know that match with the rock and mcfoley was it was incredible uh but then you see the aftermath his daughters are crying and you know you see him getting stitched up afterwards and it's like oh my god i feel like almost guilty being a fan liking that but well like i said man i i because because I love chair shots and stuff like that. And, you know, they're a thing and all the CTE stuff or whatever.

But that was the hardest part about that was watching, you know, I think his daughter, maybe Dewey was as well, but just watching them just selling and crying. And they didn't know what was up. They just watched Daddy Russell, and it was kind of a little bit more than that. Back to the show, you mentioned everybody, you know, storytelling is the crux of it all. And I would imagine when people come on to your show

and they're on the ranch and they're in front of Steve Austin, they're bringing their best stories. If the tables were turned, if you were a guest on a show like this and you felt like you really needed to bring the heat with some of your stories and tales from your life or maybe upbringing, what would you tell? What would be your go-to story? Like, I got to wow the crowd right now. No, I mean, well, you know, they'd have to ask me, but I'm an open book.

If you want a story, I really don't have anything to hide at this point in my life. And, you know, I've done pretty good and I've done pretty bad. You want to talk about it, just ask it. Let's go. I like that. There's not a single thing you would hide. There's nothing that you, uh, could I ever ask you a question and you would be like, interview over, we're done. But it's hard because the show is a fast-moving show it's a half-hour show which means that's 22 minutes of content and so you know you got to tell a long story short or you know kind of keep things moving so you know there's there's an art to it and you know it's almost

like being on a talk show for three three different segments right or three or four different segments so you've got to get the beats in and don't tell some stories, but tell them quick. How long is filming for it? Like to film an episode? Yeah, to film an episode. Okay. Like the day before we'll go through all the beats. Camera's going to know their angles. We, you know, we know what we're doing,

but we don't have the guests there. So, you know, I'll have someone riding with me and anything i might be driving a new contraption whether it's on land or water i've got to learn to drive that safely because i've got one of the biggest superstars on planet earth with me right and i cannot harm them and we're going to go through some adrenaline so there's that i got my producer riding shotgun and she's a blast and she's amazing so we we're doing that. And then when a guest shows up, from when they get there, after makeup and going through everything, it can take anywhere from six to eight or better hours

because sometimes you have multiple locations, different setups, different rigs. Everybody's got to tear down the sets. We've got to move. Dude, this is a work in progress. It's a half hour show but takes all day to film and by the time i'm done filming you know two days for an episode and you know i'm ready for a beer hey uh have you kept up at all in the world of uh boxing and ufc

which with uh what's going on with mayweather and mcgregor and these uh the jake and and logan paul kids from the internet I have not okay so there there's two guys uh Logan and Jake Paul who are Cleveland kids who came up on YouTube massive YouTube stars they also grew up uh like very good high school wrestlers and have since uh trained to be boxers as well and have done some amateur boxing but on a pretty big scale because they're a big draw they do pay-per-views. They can sell out arenas. And the one kid, Logan, has challenged Floyd Mayweather to a fight, and he is going to do it in February.

The other brother, Jake, is in the process of trying to call out Conor McGregor and box him as well. I know there's been some kind of CM Punk once did a little UFC. There was some crossover in those worlds. But as far as you know in the been some kind of, I see him punk once did a little UFC. There was like some crossover in those worlds. But as far as you know, in the world of combat sports, could you imagine, you know, kid, these kids are in shape. They do know how to throw hands a little bit, but they're now stepping in the ring with some world-class fighters without knowing too much about the situation.

If you could give your prediction on how that's going to go, man, it's going to be kind of hard to hit Floyd because he's so elusive. You're not an elite striker you're probably not going to touch him and with respect i'd say that he's not known as being a power puncher right right so and then again i don't know what kind of chin they have because it's kind of a world i don't really know about but anyway he's gonna be hard to hit as far as the other one goes conor mcgregor's heavy-handed in my opinion i think he's very heavy-handed god dang the way he uses uh distance and closes distance not interested in getting the ring with either of those guys i don't want no part in either one of them because by the time i miss floyd with the big ass right hook he's gonna hit me like 20 times.

And that ain't going to be fun. Let me ask you this, because obviously it's a little bit different with wrestling because obviously there's a scripted element to it. But this kid Jake, when he was calling out Conor McGregor, and he's trying to bait him and he's trying to sell pay-per-views, and so there's a lot of shit-talking in the fight-promoting world. But this kid immediately started talking about his wife, said she's ugly said that she's a four out of ten he's really like personal shots at him and his family uh what would what would happen if someone started running their mouth to steve austin that way i don't know but But just as far as trying to promote a fight,

that's the worst place a person could go. Right? I mean. I'll leave it at that. Right. There's some things you just can't say, right? It's like we're not even talking about putting on a show anymore. Now it's just personal.

I'm down with it. No. I don't think there'd be many people who would take it there with you anyway, brother. I know I wouldn't. But to take it there with him, man. That's crazy.'t but to take it there with him man that's crazy all right man well listen we appreciate the time uh it sounds like things are just going absolutely fantastic with this show i foresee a lot more seasons if you keep up you know these guests that you've got and the gift of gab that you've got so keep doing your

thing man and we always appreciate the time i hope so uh maybe one of the days i can get down and see you guys again in person and i appreciate you helping push the show uh that's a different part you know another step down the road for me and i'm having a blast do the show doing the show and the show is just designed to entertain people we ain't trying to be rocket science so that is one of the things that it very clearly comes through that just everyone's having. You can tell that in any kind of content. You can just be like, these people are doing it because they have to do it versus these people are doing it because they're having fun

and enjoying it with each other, and that comes through a lot in the show. Well, I appreciate it. That's the biggest compliment I could get because that's what the show is about. And that's about the host. The host is the one who makes that come through. So well done by you. I'm trying, brother. I'm trying.

You're succeeding. It's January 11th on USA at 11 p.m., so go check it out, and thanks always for the time. Thank you so much, Stone Cold. Thanks, guys. Catch you later. Have a good one. I've got some issues that nobody can see, and all of these emotions are pouring out of me I'm bringing through the life in you

It's only life This is the soundtrack to my life The soundtrack to my life To my life To my life To my life To my life To my life

To my life To my life To my life To my life To my life do my life, yeah I can't do my life, yeah I can't do my life, yeah I can't get in the love yeah yeah