KFC Radio - Ari Shaffir and Bobby Kelly Interview || Tiko Texas and the Houston Astros have officially defeated the Phillies

Episode Date: November 8, 2022

- Come see us live in Denver, Phoenix, and Los Angeles. Buy Tickets here: https://linktr.ee/kfcrlive - We finally got (pity) invited to Upfronts… in Chicago - Feits has been to more states in the last 3 months than Kevin has been to in his whole life - Mitchell Miller gets cut from the Bruins after being called out for bullying a black classmate -Kyrie Irving is suspended for 5 games - Drake and 21 savage drop their album - Philly Rotisserie Chicken guy vs Beer chugging ~lads! - KFC and Jackie’s outtakes for the Mugsy Jean Jacket promo - Tiko Texas gets her ring as the Astros beat the Phillies in the World Series - Video Voicemails - Ari Shaffir and Bobby Kelly Interview ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ Timecodes: 0:00 - Come see us live 5:52 - we finally got invited to Upfronts 20:29 - Feits’ travel the last 3 months 32:27 - Mitchell Miller Drama 50:18 - Kyrie Irving is suspended for 5 games 54:52 - Drake and 21 Savage dropped their album 57:29 - Rotisserie Chicken guy / Pints chugging lads 01:01:46 - KFC and Jackie’s Mugsy video 01:07:33 - Tiko Texas Gets Her Ring 01:15:19 - Video Voicemails 01:30:32 - Ari Shaffir and Bobby Kelly Interview ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ Roman: Go to https://barstool.link/RomanKFCR for 20% off your first order HelloFresh: Go to https://barstool.link/HFKFC and use code kfc65 for 65% off + free shipping Helix Sleep: Get up to $200 off all mattress orders and 2 free pillows at https://barstool.link/HelixKFC Simplisafe: Get 50% off any new system at https://barstool.link/Simplisafekfc Thursday Boots: Go to https://barstool.link/ThursdaybootsKFC and try a pair today with free shipping & free returns Betterhelp: KFC Radio is sponsored by Betterhelp. Go to https://barstool.link/BHKFC for 10% off your first monthYou can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/kfcr

Hey, KFC Radio listeners, you can find every episode of KFC Radio on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. My dad got a boat this summer, and he was thinking about calling it pasta. And I was like, hey, dad, you can't name your fucking boat after my friend. How about that? Are you ready for this? It's another edition of KFC Radio on the Barstool Sports Network. Big week for KFC Radio. As you listen to this, we are on our way to Denver for our first live show west of Chicago ever. We're going to do Denver on the 9th.

We're going to do Phoenix on the 10th. And then the City of Angels, L.A., on the 12th. This is our first ever West Coast swing. So do me a favor. I'm jacked up about it. Me too. I think it's cool that we're like, you know, we can do Philly, Chicago. We can do Philly, New York, and Boston until like our eyes bleed,

until your pockets are empty and everyone's seen us 100,000 times. But to get out there and go see people who probably were like, oh, they'll never come out here, you know. And that's why you got to fucking come out, show out. Everybody's always like, yo, you've got to come to our city. You've got to come do this. You've got to do that. Okay, we're here.

Denver, we're here. We live very far away. We're making it. We're coming out. Please, you come out as well. We're going to do a meet and greet. You can meet us afterwards, take pictures the whole night. Phoenix, I think we're going to have a very special meet and greet.

So if you're in Phoenix, definitely come to that. I don't know if that's been locked in yet, but you might be the first people ever to go someplace. We'll see. Right. And so either way, though, no matter what, we'll be taking pictures afterwards and hanging out. So Phoenix, Denver, Denver, Phoenix, L.A., all this week.

And hit up our social media at KFC Radio, where there will be links for all the live tickets. So please buy those. Also, it's ugly sweater, ugly Christmas sweater season. So we've got – we kind of – back in the day, we used to make a fucking killing. We used to sell a boatload of these. Then Barstool got so big that everybody started making their own ones now, and we kind of disappeared from it.

Now we're back in the game. Now we're back in the ugly sweater game. I got the golden god. He's got're back in the game. Now we're back in the ugly sweater game. I got the golden god. Here's the thing that some people do in the ugly sweater game. And I have this with some of my sweaters. We got – is my Schmidt one over there? We got Sexy Schmidt. We've got Love Island.

We've got – All kinds of stuff. But some people don't take the ugly part importantly. Some people are just like, here's a sweater. Right. It's got to be gross. I made an ugly ass sweater. That thing's so fucking...

That thing sucks. I don't have elves. I have family with fucking Santa Claus looking like Dom Toretto sitting in Dom's car. This is an ugly sweater. Bro, the proportions make no sense. Either Dom Toretto's enormous or that's like a Hot Wheels car. It makes no sense. Don Toretto is enormous.

We've got multiple Sonny. We've got the Golden Guy. We've got the Dennis System. For my Jets fans, six and three, what up? We've got Zach Wilson throwing bombs, banging moms. We've got Euphoria shirts. Euphoria with Sidney Sweeney on there

We've got With an unnamed person on there Yeah, just a blonde girl, never mind I've got the Throwback of the Wet Bandits We really got a whole bunch And I feel like, you know, they were hot in the streets Maybe got a little bit played out

And I feel like ugly sweaters are kind of back with the vengeance this year. So get your ugly sweaters. Today we've got Ari Shaffir and Bob Kelly on the show, which is, in my opinion, if you were like, give me a list of the top five or top three OG New York guys, you've got to throw a tell in there. We haven't had the luxury of talking to him yet, but I feel like it's a tell. People love Colin Quinn, but then it's fucking Bob Kelly. I love Colin Quinn.

But Bobby and Ari are like OG guys who have been in this industry for so long and don't give a fuck and let it fly. They both got specials out. They both hit me up. I said, why don't you guys do it together? We were originally also going to have Rich Voss and Bonnie McFarlane in.

That ended up canceling, so that'll be later. But at one point, I was going to have all four of them at once, which would have been like podcasting magic. But Ari and Bobby together are electric. And, of course, we'll get into voicemails and all that. But first, we'll do some recapping of what's going on. And then I got to get into one minute, man. Everything's brought to you by... All right. This next segment is brought to you by Roman. Roman, you want to know a fun fact here? I'll give you a fun fact.

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The podcast with the deepest connection to their audience. The longest-running voicemail line. The OG podcast that got churned in to buy us, eventually led to this $500 million empire. The podcast got churned in to buy us on two separate ways. With the Lorenzen and the actual podcast. Yeah yeah you were the link to jared lorenzen podcast was the reason why they bought us uh the hundreds of millions of dollars basically go to us and we're not even at the outfronts but they made up for it with a pity invite to the chicago the biggest pity invite i mean that was

like it was in the same like like like they were saying to my face they said it was a pity invite. I mean, that was like, it was in the same breath of... Like, they were saying it to my face. They said it was a pity invite? It was someone... Because I couldn't make it, so I sent John solo. Someone was in the car and was like, this is just because you weren't in the New York invites. And I was like, yeah, I know. Oh, they just said that up front to you? I mean, I think he said it as a joke, but I was like...

But not really. It was one of those, like, I make these jokes. It was... Yeah, yeah. I can say it to myself, not you. It was in the same, like, text. It was like, i'm so sorry you weren't there but you guys have to be at the chicago one it's like why would we ever be at the

chicago one we're new york guys oh i'll tell you why because you fucked us because you made us familiar it was it was um i knew i knew what was gonna be i actually once i once we landed i knew i found i was gonna be a half hour and i was like flew to going to be a half hour. And I was like, Flew to Chicago for a half hour PowerPoint. Oh my god. No PowerPoint. It was just us up there talking. And I was very nervous. Multiple people came up to me and was like,

You did great up there. And went out of their way. People, sales people, other people. I didn't think I did very good. You never do though. But I did do one thing That I have regrets about And actually I don't have regrets about

Fuck you guys I fucking sewered out about Listen, you come step on our territory You step on our toes You come take our gay podcast title Which I almost said, I was like, we're supposed to be the gay podcast But they came and took it I was like, maybe I won't say that in front of advertisers.

John fucking 75 degree, beautiful, sunny day, no clouds in the sky, drone striped out and about. He pushed the button and it went and the smoke cleared and out and about was just gone. I mean, I meant it very complimentary. I didn't put together that we were in front of advertisers. So one of the questions Erica posed was, who do you think is an up and coming or whatever you want to call it? I feel like that always sounds condescending. Yeah, it's like we've been doing this for a while. What are you talking about?

Like the new star on the scene. I think it was like, I'm going to phrase it like this. What is a podcast you like to work with more? I don't think that's how it was phrased, but that's how I heard it. I think it was like the rookie of the year type newcomer on the block. Right. But whatever, either way. And I was like, oh, it's out and about.

No question about it. They're so funny. I mentioned how I get jealous when our guests go to them first because I'm like, well, fuck. I'm just a regular person. I can't compete with that. We're not in costumes. costume they're gonna come in here and take a goddamn nap like weren't these guys exciting and i was like they're just so funny and they're so vulgar it's over the top and and then i was like i probably i caught myself i probably shouldn't have said that part but they're just hilarious and they're great and like i was very complimentary while making sure you get no advertising dollars in 2023. They are so over the top and completely vulgar.

Like, if I said that to your face, you guys would be like, I love you so much. That's exactly what we are. If I say it to a bunch of advertisers, I probably shouldn't have said that. And then I said another one. I don't mind. I'm going to leave that one out. That wasn't about out and about. That was just about me.

What did you say? Another one I was asked was asking what's your favorite advertisers to work with and um mugsy was there and no we're cutting all this i don't want to say this because i i did i i'll tell you now yeah but uh it was like i was like i explained that whistle pig and they're great let's do whatever we want it's such a successful partnership and the mugsy people have come to me beforehand have been like by the way that's our best selling jacket ever whatever yeah and i was like and also like mugsy people had come to me beforehand and been like, by the way, that's our best selling jacket ever. Whatever. And I was like, and also like Muggsy and I, like we've worked together so well and they went, woo.

And I went, yeah, I did that one for a shout. I love it. Gotta play the crowd. Yeah. Dude, I got another crowd. Whatever. We'll leave it in. Yeah, fuck it.

It's in the vlog. I was nervous there. So it's out. Oh, all right. So it's out. So it's out. Oh, all right, all right. So it's out. But it's also true when you have the fucking best-selling jacket of all time. Also available, the Sherpa, the black jacket that me and Jackie worked on. We'll talk about that in a little bit.

But that's out for Mugsy Jeans right now. But, you know, I just want to, like, as a badge of honor, we finally went to the upfronts. Went to the upfronts. After fucking 12 years What took us We were there about I think we landed in Chicago At 4

Took off at 9 9.30 We landed in Chicago At 1.30 1.30 I'm bad at clocks And then left at 9.30 9.30

Jesus Quick Quick 8 hours in Chicago Had a hotel room Ripped a quick nap Actually ripped a quick Great nap in there Did you?

Yeah Oh we got there Got food Dude at one point I think I told Erica I told someone before I got on stage I was like Look here's the deal Had a hotel room, ripped a quick nap. Actually, ripped a great nap in there. Did you? Yeah. Oh, we got there, got food. Dude, at one point, I think I told Erica, or I told someone before I got on stage, I was like, look, here's the deal. I know I'm getting food poisoning tonight. Let's just hope it doesn't happen on stage.

What'd you eat? Dude, it's actually crazy. I'm like, it is, and I did get it. When you say actually crazy about your food, it scares me. It is gross. Like, what could it be? So we didn't have really a lot of time. By the time we got to the hotel, it was like 3.

We were supposed to be at the upfronts at 4. No. By the time we got to the hotel, it was 2. We were supposed to be at the upfronts at 4. And we didn't have time to go find a restaurant. We just had to eat in the hotel lobby. Sure, sure. And I just got something on the menu called pasta shells.

And they put it down in front of me in Paz. And I was like like was there fish in this and they were like no and i was like pass this might fish to you and he was like yeah definitely yeah and i was like fuck i'm hungry it sucks and it was obviously white sauce so it was like fucking like curdled milk and shit it was just reeking bro it was so bad and then jackie's horrified it was so bad it was like it was truly disgusting and and i just fucking wolfed it down when i'm took a nap hit the up fronts got on the plane got home and fucking shit dude bro you don't know the fucking fear of that. You know.

I am going to get sick. But you just walk out. I got to do a presentation and then get on a plane. I got to get all this done. I got to keep this all in for about five, six hours. And then I can fucking just ruin my life. Why? What was I supposed to do? What was I supposed to do?

What was I supposed to do? Not eat the cruddles. What was I supposed to do? Send it back? I didn't have time to send it back, dude. I told you I was in and out trip for the day. I needed to get a meal in me. I didn't have time to send the food back.

I was like a soldier in Iraq, bro. You eat what you eat. Every single day. You think you've got time to be picky in Iraq, bro. You eat what you eat. Every single day. You think you've got time to be picky? Nah, dude. Every single day we step closer to Always Sunny. Just becoming our reality. It's just our lives at this point.

Everything sounds like a goddamn episode. Listen to this. Oh, you guys bunked? No, we didn't bunk We got Where are you sleeping? We are technically bunking But they got me a hotel room

Because they didn't know If I was going to be able To make my flight Right And they didn't get Paz one So he didn't have anywhere To hang out

Oh so that was your nap Yeah that was my nap Midday snoring Is that the first time You've ever heard it? No no no, no. We also shared a room in Vermont. Yeah, that one was ridiculous.

Yeah, that actually sounded like Lightworth. You must have been on your stomach or something. I was on my stomach. Yeah, that's it. That was stomach. When he's on his back, I mean, he could fucking knock the shingles off the roof. It's disgusting. I'm getting a nose job.

Don't worry about it. Are you going to? I mean, one day in the next five years, I'll go for a consultation. We'll figure it out from there. Maybe we should break your nose. No, I'm not a nose job. Don't worry about it. Are you going to? I mean, one day in the next five years, I'll go for a consultation. We'll figure it out from there. Maybe we should break your nose. No, I'm not into that. It's clearly already been broken. What do you mean?

Smash it again. Quick little thing. A little Pelosi hammer to the face. You know what I mean? But on that trip, was on the way back or was it on the way there? That path just got over. That was on the way there. I got abused, dude.

So I was taking a nap on the plane and then I woke up to the guy next to me shaking me, and the flight attendant was coming around. Which, by the way, sorry to interrupt you real quick, infuriates me. When they wake you up. Do not wake me up for a fucking biscotti. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like, get me the fuck, particularly like a midday nap, like whatever. Actually, at no point.

Maybe at night I'll take a cocktail But like If you're If you're offering me A water and a biscotti Let a motherfucker sleep Or Or Just like do it

Like put the fucking Bottle of water And a biscotti down You know like You don't have to assume Oh you think you get A bottle of water Yeah fuck it

A cup of water These days right What am I Someone's been Flying first class lately What am I A fucking van They're both over here

It is nuts Here's a Here's a shot of water You scumbag. In those cups, they're like that. And they're just like, they don't even fill them up all the way. And they're room temperature.

There was a tweet the other day. Do you want ice? I do want ice, but then you're going to give me literally one little droplet of water. It's going to like, you know what I mean? There's no fuck.

As a society, have not been run over by an industry like the airline industry in history. Yeah. They have bent us over and made us their goddamn bitches. We've talked about extensively how post 9-11, the baggage fee was just supposed to help airlines come back. And they're like, nah, fuck it.

Those are staying forever. But, like, dude, back in the day, we've talked about the food. You used to just get a meal. Like a full meal. You used to get fucking meals on planes. They'd hand you a fork. They'd hand you a knife. right and then but like dude back in the day we talked about the food where like you should just get a meal meal you used to get fucking meals on planes they'd hit they hang your fork they hand you a knife you can fucking eat a meal on the plane now remember the flight we had where i wasn't allowed to buy a sandwich because my flight wasn't long enough it was a three hour and 40 minute gate to gate flight but you got to be in the hour in the air three and a half hours to get to buy a sandwich i'm trying to buy it with my own goddamn money here.

They're on the plane. I can see them. Just let me buy a fucking sandwich. I'm starving hungry. It's like McDonald's breakfast. It's like, I know you got it. Just give it to me. It is.

It's like, whoa. We have been, our village, our collective village as a world has been raped and marauded by the airline industry. And we just fucking. And they got us. Like, they know that we'll never stop. We just... Yeah, but I gotta keep taking it.

No, no, no, fine. You guys can drive to California, sure. Right, right. And then what's gonna happen? You're gonna fucking tweet at us, and, you know, Amanda is gonna reply with a little fucking carrot, you know? This is from Amanda.

I'm sorry. Nobody gives a fuck. Got us bent over a fucking barrel. They really do. Wait, but Pat, I'm sorry. Finish your story, please. So you're na fucking barrel. They really do. Wait, but Pat, I'm sorry. Finish your story, please. Yeah, so you're napping. So I'm napping.

Flight attendant's coming around with snacks. Guy wakes me up, and she's like, would you like anything to drink? I'm like, yeah, I'll have a glass of water, please. And then she goes, would you like anything to eat? And I'm like, I'm sorry. What do you guys have? And she goes, oh, you're going to make me repeat myself for the fifth time? And I was like, no, no, no.

Like, please, please. I'm sorry. Like, don't worry about it. Don't worry about it. And then she goes she goes she's like older no she was like she was like 30 and so then she's like starts listing off the snacks she's like now would you like anything and i was like yeah sure i'll just take a granola bar because and then the ladies there's like five karens around there and they're like you tell them you tell them and then the guy next to me

Starts laughing Like you're supposed to be On my fucking team Bro have you ever heard Of tribalism Let's fucking yell At these women Like I love it

Don't Like make sure he knows And I was like Oh my god This is He told me As soon as we got to the plane I like gasped

Wait but you were sleeping I was sleeping Exactly And she saw you sleeping Yeah She had to wake you up So how would you You know what the fucking I. Exactly. And she saw you sleeping. Yeah. She had to wake you up. So how would you know what the fucking... I don't know.

And then she gave me a fucking lemon coconut granola bar. Like, you could have just kept it. Yeah, she got you the worst possible one. But you want to know what's funny? On the other end of that, I did not nap on the plane. And I heard her say it twice into the thing, the snacks they have. And on the second time, I was like, Jesus Christ, shut the fuck up. Because I was trying to watch the TV,

and it interrupts the TV, and I'm like, I'm trying to get through this fucking movie before we land. Stop pausing it, and reading the snacks, you already read them one time. And the girls around were just like, yeah, bitch. There was like four 50-year-old women in there telling that white boy to shut the fuck up. What the goddamn fuck, man? around were just like, yeah, bitch. It was like four 50-year-old women and they were like, you tell them.

What the goddamn fuck, man? But whatever. You just got abused, dude. Sometimes you just get steamrolled. Were you just like, okay. I was just like, okay, and then just kind of just sat there embarrassed and silent for the rest of the fight. My ears perked.

The playbook. That happens for sure. Alright, let's get into One Minute Man on KFC Radio. It's brought to you by – This segment is brought to you by HelloFresh. The holidays are just around the corner. As someone who had a Friendsgiving last year, HelloFresh made this a busy time of the year and easier than ever

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I guarantee it. Okay. By the way, that just made me think of I was just going over something with my parents this weekend. I went home this weekend just to fucking chill. I knew we have a big week coming up. Obviously, we got shows in Phoenix, Denver, LA. And I'm one of the people, like I said, to remove myself from the situation.

If I stayed here, people would be like, let's go out. I'd be fucking, yeah, let's go out. Every time. I think that's why. You're like a healthy scratch. I think people take advantage of me for that. Yes. They know

John's never gonna say no John's incapable of saying no And the problem is So like week one Let's just say like Nate will call you And be like Yo man you wanna go out

For a beer I could use one You're like okay yeah sure And then like the next night So Nate's done But now the next night Someone else needs a drink Exactly

Someone else needs a drink But you're always the one drinking I'm the guy And then I'll have someone In town one night And my uncle will be here He wants to go to dinner. But if they say no, if somebody called you and you said no, they'd be like, what the fuck?

It's the same thing as when people offer to buy you shots. It's like, well, you're doing your first shot, but I'm doing my fifth. So I have to say no. Same thing. It's like, what do you mean you're not going out? You're John. It's like, well, I've gone out seven nights in a row. Bro, I went out for the last month and a half.

Dude, and that's what I'm saying now I was counting with my parents The states I've been to Starting September 27th I think I went to What Jackie When we were in Tennessee

That was like week Like two or three So it was like Mid-September So in a month and a half And I'm counting this week coming up I'm gonna go through it again right now It's kind of fucking sick actually And this is mind you these are just the weekends and

i'm going out every night okay during the week in let's go so you're in new york we know that new york check um new jersey you know whatever oh yeah no i went to fucking pat's jets right um new jersey check connecticut saw my nephew. Georgia, wedding. Florida, landed there for the Georgia wedding. I landed in Jacksonville. If you don't want to count that, that's fine. I accept it. Philly, went to an Eagles game. Tennessee,

went to the Titans game. Massachusetts? Massachusetts, yeah. Went home. Rhode Island, went to... I went to Newport when I was home. Fuck. So, Phoenix.port when I was home. Fuck. So Phoenix. So Arizona. Denver. Colorado. LA.

How was that? Twelve. England. Make it a Baker's Dozen. In like five weeks it's 13 states. Bro, I haven't gone to... I don't know if I've gone to 13 states in my whole life. I guess 13 states.

And also, if you want to... Liverpool was four and a half hours from London, so that's about a state away. If you want to put England, London, and Liverpool as two separate states, I don't even know what they have in England. Yeah, they're hours and hours away. So that's 14.

14 in about five weeks, six weeks. Bro, I'm trying to think if I've ever gone to 13 states in my whole life. We did do the NLCS bus, so I would check on a bunch there. Oh, sorry. Add another one. 14? Forgot about up front. Chicago.

Illinois. There you go. Illinois. If you take out the NLCS bus trip where it's like I'm driving through and checking them off, if you're talking about destinations that I've gone to, I don't know if it's 13 in my whole life. I could do New York, New Jersey, Connecticut, Massachusetts. Dude, come on. You got me.

I went to Maine. I've gone to Florida. I went to Maine. I've gone to Florida. I've gone to Cali. You've been to Vermont. Vermont. Actually, you've been there with me, but I was going to say Killington. I went to one of the Carolinas.

I don't remember which one. I'll just say Carolina. South Carolina. You're going to move there. Right? Right. No, but it is South Carolina that I've been to. Been to Delaware once for a bachelor party.

For Dewey Beach. Oh, we went to Washington. But these are all like... Oh! I forgot I went to D.C. No, that might have been before. Because, I mean, when one of our live show was. But that might have been before six weeks. Yeah. But, I mean, when one of our live show was. But that might have been before six weeks. Yeah.

But, I mean, I went to Washington. 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11. What else in the Northeast? I've gone to, I went to Rhode Island with you once. Yep. Newport. That's, like, very recent. You have mass on there, okay.

This is very Francesa to just list these things but it's pretty funny because i i think i'm out of gas i think and that is discounting the the nlcs trip because then i can just like check off all these things in the midwest that we drove through um oh but indiana for real because i have gone to chicago multiple times but one two three four five six seven eight nine ten eleven twelve thirteen I think I've been to 13 states my whole life. Oh, PA, 14. I lived in Pennsylvania. Okay, 14.

So I did beat the 13 that John did in the last couple weeks. But barely my whole life. It's been a whirlwind. That's been a sheltered-ass life, though. What's more crazy, how much of a whirlwind That's been a sheltered ass life though What's more crazy How much of a whirlwind of states In your last six weeks Or how like none in my whole life

I think probably none in your whole life Yeah I mean that's I'm sure like No I don't know Because I think there's going to be a lot of people Who have been like Yeah I've only been to like five states

People don't travel all the time While we're on this Because it's loosely tied I saw it resurface today uh this week and it's it could be my favorite internet interaction of all time bill james tweeting which major league baseball player did you grow up with in your neighborhood and and what are the interactions leave them below have you ever seen this? No. Baseball writer.

He said, let's start a thread. What baseball player lived in your neighborhood and tell me an interaction you had. Lived in your neighborhood? Not was like the fan favorite in your neighborhood kind of deal? Someone said, what the fuck kind of question is this? Who grew up with major leaguers in their neighborhood? And he replied, I'd be willing to bet that 70% of my followers grew up

with a major league baseball player on their block. What the fuck? I would have to venture to say that that number is probably like 0.01%. We're talking about the same Bill James who's like kind of like Moneyball Bill James who works for the Red Sox this year, right? I don't know about that. He was definitely a consultant for the Red Sox.

That's fucking insane. That's fucking insane. I would say that number... That just proves how fucking dumb smart people are. I would say that number is like 0.01%. Less than that, dude. There's like a few hundred Major League Baseball players a year for, you know, let's say decades. How many goddamn neighborhoods there are?

Right. Neighborhoods, like I lived... There were seven neighborhoods in the neighborhood I lived in, right? It's like fucking constellations. Not constellations. It's fucking universes and Milky Ways ways whatever you want to say galaxies and galaxies and milky ways yeah it's it's solar systems galaxies right yeah i mean to like i i can actually remember uh when i lived in philly there was uh a guy like len dykstra like lived in like

one of like the developments and that was like a big you know huge deal and i think there was one kid who knew mickey morandini but like it was enormous because every nobody else was ever like we live near a fucking major leaguer can i can i tell you something though i got one you got all right so we're looking at at least 50 here in the room he's also the gm of the dodgers now who's that brandon gumbs do you have one no okay wouldn't it be funny if everyone I as I say I was stupid like oh yeah the GM of the doctor I personally didn't have when I knew the kids who did oh I live next to big pussy now from the Sopranos which is my oh yeah KFC and many buds by the way how Brandon's Brandon's really from

my town. We didn't grow up in the same neighborhood. I actually don't even really know where he grew up. No, I know he's a little older than me. I know he's a superstar in high school and shit like that. But I don't know if he counts as my neighborhood. I had a very KFC radio awkward interaction with Vinny. My parents have known him because they're neighbors for a while now.

And he's a really nice guy. He's very neighborly. One time he offered his car. My parents needed to borrow a car and all this shit. So he's very friendly. But when I was having the moving company come, I had more shit to move into my apartment. And they had this huge truck. And I tried to save like a parking spot along the street because I needed like three or four cars worth

for this truck to go. And the way these cars were parked, it was like, if I could get this one to move, we'd be good. And so, and there's this little strip of bungalows. That's where Vinny lives. And so I wanted to ask him, he was out on his porch and I was going to say hey do you know who owns this car

I think it's one of the people here and maybe we could get them to move it but he was talking on the phone and I could hear him and he's fucking he talks on the phone like you think he talks on the phone you know and I'm waiting for him to finally get off the phone and I kind of like peek in and I'm like hey

hi like do you know whose like peek in and i'm like hey hi like uh do you know whose car this is and he ends up he's like it's that guy over there and i was like okay cool i'll go ask him if i just need him to move in and he's asking me what the situation is and i very awkwardly explain it and he's like well why don't i just move my car and it's a different car down the way and i was like oh oh you're oh would you do that you could move your car he's like yeah like you're fucking idiot i'll just move my car and then i was gonna say um uh i was gonna have uh my parents put their car where um this open space was gonna be because i didn't want anyone else to take it and he goes no no you just put your garbage cans there and I was like I'm just gonna get my parents you're gonna put the garbage cans there

I was like I'm gonna put the garbage cans there I'm gonna put the garbage cans there you're absolutely right I apologize for even fighting back a little bit thank you sir yep I'll put my whistle away now and you'll do your thing I'm gonna ask you're gonna get the garbage cans yes I am

he's the fucking man very good guy okay um back to one minute man first uh topic this weekend i was home with my parents where i have my helix sleep mattress i went in there with a back that hurt like hell this is no joke thursday night after we were at the up front of chicago i fell asleep on my couch in a very odd way my back was killing me on Friday, rode the train up in complete pain, got home Friday night, bam, right into the Helix Sleep that is tailored for me. And it was incredible. Helix Sleep is a premium mattress brand that provides tailored mattresses based on your unique sleep preferences. When I got home and I had my

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Go to helixsleep.com slash KFC. You get $200 off your mattress and you get two free pillows, which are way more than you think they are. With Helix, better sleep starts now. Actually, a serious topic, an important topic. The Mitchell Miller drama in Boston. This is probably a lot of people uh don't know this i don't think it's really hit the national like spotlight at least yet mitchell miller is a very talented nhl prospect he was drafted by the coyotes was cut because when he was 14 years old in eighth grade he was a horrendous bully a racist bully he He bullied this kid, Isaiah Meyer Crothers.

They said he was calling the N-word and would make jokes about picking cotton and one time took a lollipop and rubbed it against a urinal. Push pop. Push pop. Somehow makes it worse, I think. And then made him. Wait, push pop meaning the ring? Or the ice cream?

No, no, no, no, no, the push pops. Okay, okay. You put your finger in a little, almost like a lipstick thing. Right. What are the ones called with the ice cream you push it? I think those are also push pops. I think those are also push pops. The Flintstones type ones?

Yes. Yeah. Because then you're getting wet ice cream on the Euro. Yeah, right. That's why I don't share soups. I don't like sharing wet liquids. Wet liquids. Like a wet food.

Yeah, I'm fair. That's fair. I don't i'll be honest if you took a uh if you like dipped the lollipop in piss that's disgusting but if you just like rubbed it on the wall i'd be like whatever dude it that is apparently what happened i think that's i think both sides said that's what happened it was the top it was the top part of the urinal which like i'm not i'm not condoning him i'm just saying i i'm such a not a germ guy that like I'd be like There's not really anything on there Well I do I piss up there

I think it's hilarious to piss up there Watch a fall and come down like a rainbow I piss up there and I fucking go side to side like that No I'm not saying that there's no piss there I'm saying I don't care if you touch the piss Like it's not If you were to like take a paper towel And wipe it and then put that paper towel on me, but a wet, hard lollipop that just touches a surface real quick, only, like, that little bit touches.

Yeah. I don't know the extent. There is, I think, one of the – I can tell you we're the only ones breaking it down here from the point of view of is the lollipop covered in piss or not. Not talking about the racism or the implications. I'm just saying that you're barely touching the urinal. I think that I do it like a toothbrush. I was like, oh.

You get it in really fast. Oh, you thought you had germs? Guess what? Come on. Now my germs are attacking like white blood cells. My germs out. Those germs are gone because my germs are in it. Yeah.

My germs come into my mouth. You think you're fucking winning this battle? Yeah, right, baby. And also, if it is... I got King Leonidas leading the charge and we got more than 300. I'm also willing to bet that this was, if it's a push pop,

it's not like a round flat one where you get a lot of surface area. We're talking about a tangential spot where it just touches in that one spot. Oh, God. It's on a guest mic, too. So he bullied him, said all this racist shit. That was when he was 14 he's now 20 he got drafted a couple years ago at like 18 19 um the coyotes cut him right away the bruins all the

sudden out of nowhere like a week ago decide to sign him and give him what is now like his third chance in the league and there's a media uproar again well somebody drafts you and then oh yeah i got a second second try um so um now the media is there's a media uproar but also the family of the bullied kid every time mitchell miller tries to make a move ahl ushl nhl the family comes out and reminds everybody that this happened. Now the Bruins have since cut him. The players did not want him. Which I think I will come out, and I've said it a million times on Twitter,

I honestly don't know what the right move is to do with somebody. I don't know what the right move is to do with someone who is morally reprehensible in middle school. I just don't. I think there are some things Mitchell Miller did. This is going to sound bad in a microphone, but I think saying the N-word and stuff like that is the more excusable offense because you were young.

That's just learned behavior. That's shit you knew from your parents. You have your own experiences in the world. You're just repeating what you say at home. Basically, until you get to college, and maybe I'm just projecting and speaking for myself. Luckily, my parents weren't fucking racists but like i just i don't know what's worse the family the mom came out and said me and his father are very very strict we don't know how this like

happened i'm like i almost rather would take the fall and be like i'm sorry like we failed our kid yeah i did not teach him about like word and race relations and shit. There was a quote from an article I read that they were like, we don't know how this happened. They're like, rest assured, we're punishing him. But this got out of control real fast. From the open letter I read from the – because I actually – I'm obviously heavily invested in the Boston Bruins.

It's what makes things so annoying to argue on Twitter. It's like, dude, I feel like fucking Ron Swanson at Lowe's, where it's like, hey, I know more than you. Don't fucking come to me with like, like I was saying today how like, I quote tweeted something about Bergeron. I was like, I can't believe that the fucking, that the front office went to him,

proactively went to Patrice Bergeron, said, what do you think about the signing? Patrice Bergeron said, I don't like it. Maybe not in so many words, but actually, I bet in so many words. Publicly, he's saying he expects his concerns, and he said he was on the fence. Behind the scenes, he probably said,

don't sign this game. Hockey players don't talk that shit publicly unless they said something way more, not vile, but way more firm behind the scenes. And I think that him saying that was like, I was very stern. I don't want this guy in my locker room. Bergeron said this is when he was still on the team on Saturday

before the Leafs game. He was like, if he is still the same person, he will not be welcome in the soccer room. He will not be here. Now, and that's the difference. And we joke around about this later in the episode with Ari and Bobby. We have some more fun with it. But on a serious level, it's like you can't –

I bet you the same people who are saying this guy doesn't deserve to play hockey are also people who are okay with prison reform and rehabilitating people who have paid their debts. That's probably a pretty good point. So it's like if this guy, he pled guilty to all the charges in juvenile court. He said, I said all that shit. I did all those things. He's not trying to deny it.

He got hit with like you need to go to counseling and you need to do community service and you need to write a letter apologizing to the family. He did all that stuff. Now, I don't know if he is sincere, and I don't know if there's any way to really tell if someone's sincere. It seems to me like there's enough people saying. I think one of the problems with him is he hasn't come out to the media. Right. He needs to. I haven't seen anything.

So he wrote a letter. It was mandated by the court, but he wrote a letter. I've seen a picture of the letter. It was like the office when Ryan comes back from jail, and he's like, I've been working on myself. I've been doing community service. And Jim's like, you mean you're a court order community service? He's like, I don't need a judge to tell me to clean up my neighborhood.

He goes, but he did, right? But I saw that they put up a screenshot of his letter. So like, because the family's like, we never saw a letter. I don't know. Is he lying that he sent it? Like, if it was court ordered and he was like, here it is. And they were like, okay, you did it, but it never got sent. I don't know. Is he lying that he sent it? If it was court ordered and he was like, here it is, and they were like, okay, you did it, but it never got sent. I don't know. If there is a letter and he did send it, they're saying they didn't see it.

Whether or not it's court ordered, whether or not it's sincere, I don't know if there's really a way to tell these things. But there is a part of me that's like, if you did the time, in this case it was like the the letter and the council and the community service and shit like this this came up and was addressed in 2014 yeah or whatever what he when he was 14 i'm not sure what the years work out so it's like can a crime or an incident does it just follow you forever now or is it like i killed somebody i ran over someone with a car it was vehicular manslaughter i did 25 years i can't i come out and i'm sorry for it i but i killed somebody can i work again is it because there's a lot of places you can't work right a lot a lot of places you do

the job to look at that go nope yeah and you're out and and and i guess so that which is a hard thing with ex-convicts because i have to resort back to crime and right right right and so maybe i guess that you know that is kind of how it goes i guess what the difference too is that we're talking about a uh your personality too are you still a racist asshole it's like if there was an action that you did i say with the racism like obviously you're a terrible person and you raise like i don't know wherever you heard that is fucking it's awful. There's something twisted to rub something in your head. Oh, you think that's worse?

I do. I think there's something in your brain like, I've never considered doing that. But there are plenty of bullies that are like they fucking teabag you and shit like that. You know what I mean? There's bullies who do weird shit

and i'm not one of them so i think all those people are weirdos but i also if you told me that like uh like where where do we draw lines if it's like i was a ceo but also when i was like in middle school i gave a kid like a wet woolly and like pantsed him yeah i don't know that's fucking weird to pull down a kid's pants yeah oh school. Oh, I've pantsed a kid in middle school before. That's sexual assault, man. Yeah. Yeah. You know?

I know. I've told the story about my fucking clutch gene, baby. Hitting those free throws. Hitting free throws. That story. Let's retell that story on stage in Denver this week. Okay. That story is one of the greatest all-time stories.

But, like, you know, it's like, can you, you first of all what age are you responsible for your own behavior second of all how long needs to pass before you like we can forget about something or forgive something uh can you decide whether or not someone's being genuine with their punishment it's like the court did mandate it but also maybe he learned something all the way i mean i'm what i what seems like there's enough people saying he didn't there's nhl gms there's nhl players the judge who was presiding over his case and obviously the family being like none of us feel like you're being genuine yeah and and also when you look at him and also his name mitchell miller he's like it's like i don't think it's a bad name i think if a bully name. I think if you're a white boy and you get caught up in a case like this and you're Mitchell Miller, you look like an asshole. I think there's enough people saying this guy, there's too many red flags.

He didn't really genuinely mean it. But there will be other cases and there will be other instances where it's like, if I tell you I fucked up and now I work with other kids and, and I do, I have, uh, minorities that I work with and, and, and blah, blah,

blah, blah. Like you can't just be like, well, that doesn't count. Yeah. You know, I don't think you're,

I don't think it's really what happened with him too, is, is that the, he got agented a little bit. Now there's, there's, there's, there's so many things to this.

And I was saying when we were talking off air that, like, the human brain is so weird that, like, as soon as he got caught, I was like, well, now I'm kind of, like, I'm kind of rude. Now you feel bad the other way. I hope he fucking – I hope he fixes his life. I hope he proves to everyone who's doubting him that he is a good person now. And I hope maybe he gets a shot somewhere else. But, like, this team in specific, in reality, this team did not want him, did not need him.

This is a 10-1 at the time, 10-2 now. It's a 10-1 team that was set in the world on fire scoring five goals in seven of their 11 games. They were fucking monsters, which is actually so funny. I have a group text with some hockey writers and Bruins fans and shit like that. And Sweeney and Neely, people wanted them fired forever because they have had such a great core for 15 years.

And you only got one cup. That's a fucking failure on every front. And Sweeney hasn't been there the whole time. There's been a great core there for 15, 20 years, whatever it is. And one cup is unacceptable. So everyone's like, fuck that, they don't do enough, they don't do enough, they don't know how to draft. They don't know how to do all this shit. And somehow they fall ass backwards into a great team.

The best start in franchise history. And then someone said, and then they shoved firecrackers down their own dick holes and lit them off. It's true. Because all the shit I said Is like In discussion And then there's A whole other discussion

Of just as a team Why do you want This PR headache On your hands And the Bruins Were very vocal About we don't want him Which is crazy

The players The players The players themselves As hockey player standards go Exceptionally vocal We do not want this player And And I do think that's bad

Because I think A lot of hockey players Remember Remember The one guy bad because I think a lot of hockey players, remember the one guy who there was a lot of gay slurs and a lot of hockey players were like, eh, that's okay. Remember that? There was a guy who got caught saying gay slurs. I forget.

I don't want to say it. I don't want to say names. I have one on tip of my tongue but I'm not harmed in a positive way. But you know, there was a couple guys who came out and were like, eh, it's not that bad. I actually don't really remember this. I think hockey is a – fuck, who was it? There was some scandal like relatively recently, and the team was kind of like, we're – well, you know. But also people are so fucking – and this is just – there was a homophobic scandal with Tyler Sagan and Jamie Benn

when they were making fun of the Sadeen brothers, being like, you don't know what those two did. They're so weird. Everyone's like, why are you guys being homophobic? I'm not. I'm being anti-incest. They're fucking weirdos. It's not homophobia when it's two brothers.

The gay thing is not the problem, guys. But either way, it's's gonna spark an interesting because like this is gonna happen with more more and more people i think the problem also is from from 14 to 20 is not enough time to like now have perspective on the world yeah if you went into the workforce if you had a family you had kids you had other things and that's the other thing by the way as much as i'm like people do deserve like a second shot maybe if it if you horrendously bullied my kid i would be like i'm following you everywhere you go and making sure i ruin your life see that's like as someone who has been like bullied racially even though i wasn't accurate racism it's just my last name is feidelberg and And, like, it happened to me in my freshman year of college,

and my dad was pissed. And my dad, like, talked to the school. And then I was like, dude, it's cool. And, like, I was 17 at the time. But also, like, I would not qualify what happened to you. If you, like, tortured my kid from first grade to eighth grade, and then I found out. Oh, I shouldn't have brought that up.

I'm not comparing the two at all. Because it's a super different thing. When it's my kid and I feel like you wronged him for like – they said that the bullying began in first grade and we're talking about eighth grade. I would probably be like, I will make sure you never succeed in whatever you do. But also at some point I would be like – at some point – again, I don't know. It's hard to say because I actually have this new image of the bullied kid in my head. Someone tweeted me a video.

I don't even know if it's him. That's why I haven't retweeted or anything like that. I've been picturing a severely disabled person. Every article has said a developmentally disabled kid, disabled kid, disabled, handicapped kid. But never a description of what it is. They don't say Down syndrome. No, no, no. There is. It's fetal alcohol syndrome. Fetal alcohol syndrome. Okay. Which I guess can present in many different ways. But never like a description of what it is They don't say Down Syndrome No no no there is

It's fetal alcohol syndrome Which I guess can present in many different ways I was talking about my parents last night She's like I don't remember this girl But she's like growing up you lived next to a girl with fetal alcohol syndrome It was exceptionally noticeable So that's why I don't know The video that's circulating just seems to be a regular kid

Like smoking a blunt Not that that excuses anything It just changes the image i have in my head but it does it does it you know it changes it if it's like this is a a kid who was like bullying like fighting back or they were fucking with each other or was it just a totally helpless incapable kid you know all that shit matters but i i i mean we're we're gonna fuck there's there's no excuse for any of it it's just like it's it's one of those things that just sucks. There isn't a right answer. I don't know.

And that's what I think not enough people did on the internet. I don't think people just went, I don't know the answer, man. Like you're in class. You're trying to bullshit your way through. You're taking a real hard stance. And it's like, dude, just – it's okay to be like – I don't know. I also think it's okay to be like I root for this team. That doesn't mean I now need to give you an answer on how to handle this.

What do you have to say for the Bruins? I don't know, man. I'm just going to watch them play tonight. What do I say for the Bruins? Sign pasta. Right. Fucking sign pasta, dude. Don't worry about Mitchell Miller.

Sign pasta. We'll forget about all this shit. All right. But yeah, I don't know. We'll move on. We're going to beat that to death. Right now, you're going to hear from our advertisers over at SimpliSafe. If you've thought about securing your homeless home security but have been putting it off, now is the time.

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If you're not done with Kyrie Irving by this point, I don't know what to tell you, man. Like, the guy is clearly one of those dudes who just thinks he's smarter than he is, and he's always going to, you know, whether he's talking about flat earth or he's talking about black jews or whether he's talking about freedom of speech or covid it's like you don't know what you're talking about and it's dangerous that you think you do and you're so fucking annoying shut the fuck up it's arguably one of the most overused gifts on the internet the what you just said made zero points, and I award you zero points, whatever.

And that is perfect for Kyrie. People ask me, what did Kyrie say? I'm like, honestly, I don't even know. I can't even repeat it to you because I can't fucking wrap my head around it. I don't even get what he's trying to say. And also it's like just, you know, they were trying to get you to say you're not anti-Semitic and you can't give them that, which either means, A, you're anti-Semitic and you're an asshole. Or B, it's like you're being so fucking difficult and obtuse and obviously ignorant about this, being like, well, I'm actually a black black jew so i can't be anti-semitic it's like they're just asking you to condemn hate speech right and you're wiggling around that

just fucking do that i actually watched an interesting um uh and you're not gonna like this uh an interesting clip from like five years ago or a couple years ago where it was from pti which i i used to watch absolutely religiously. Love PTI. On PTI, they were talking about, it was like, it was Will Bonnick Kornheiser, and they're talking about Curry and Kyrie and Mark Spears and Jalen Rose

all that week had questioned the moon landing. And they were like like, very serious. They were like, like, like, Will Bond took his glasses off. He's like, I know all four of these people personally. They're acting like idiots, and it's dangerous, and blah, blah, blah. And then Kornheiser was like,

I want to say very sincerely right now that it is, it is a short leap from denying moon landings before you start getting into Holocaust denials denials and anti-semitism and anti uh civil war denials and all this stuff and i was like yeah it's about a four-year leap it's about a four-year stretch that's what it takes yeah that's exactly what it took like we watched the like this guy devolve and question absolutely everything was like it was like exactly like his first like controversial things, the moon landing is not real.

And he's like, you're going to go off the rails here. At the end of it, we're doing Sandy Hook. Flat Earth, Sandy Hook. It was pretty interesting. I'd never seen that called out that. I mean, I've always had fun with that. The problem, conspiracy theories, I think, are enjoyable if you have the brain capacity to do it.

It's fun to question some things and think outside the box, but when you believe it all. See, that's what I always just, when people bring up, I just think of the people who to do it. It's fun to question some things and think outside the box, but when you believe it all... See, that's why I always just, when people bring up I just think of the people who actually believe it. I'm like, fuck you guys. QAnon assholes. What's that? Have you ever seen that? Oh, no. This is a conspiracy theory chart.

So, grounded in reality... Oh, I have seen this. ...is MKUltra, FreeBritney... I have a problem with this chart. I've seen this chart before. MKUltra, Free Britney. But see, I have a problem with this chart. I've seen this chart before. MKUltra at one point was like, you're a fucking tinfoil hat weirdo. And then it just was proven true. And now we put it undergrounded.

So like some of this shit does, you know, it's like Alex Jones is a fucking piece of shit. He was right about Bohemian Grove and all the weird shit that goes on there. All of a sudden, when we have proof of conspiracy theories, they no longer are wacky, silly. They're just like, oh, well, that one

we know to be true, so you're okay with it. I haven't even heard of some of these. Greta Thornburg's a time traveler? Hell yeah. Prince Charles is a vampire?

By the way, these are fucking... Well, the vampires... These are reality denial. I think those are all like they By the way, these are fucking reality denial. I think those are all like they drink the blood, like the adrenochrome blood and all that kind of shit. Oh, I see. I see. The anti-Semitic point of no return is chemtrails.

Biden is a robot. Pandemic. But you know what I mean? Like MKUltra at one point was people would go, oh, you think the government was like drugging people and shit? By the time I was like ever you could have heard about it. At some point, I'm sure that sounded just as crazy. By the way, I sent a tweet. So that's where it gets silly.

But Kyrie, you're just a fucking asshole. Drake 21 Savage dropped their album. Yeah, I tweeted. I liked it. I listened to like five songs. They were good. I'm the same way. I, I tweeted I liked it. I listened to like five songs. They were good. I'm the same way. I was like, oh, shit.

I like, what's the one? Middle of the Ground, Middle of the Road, Middle something. I love that song. It's just Drake on it where the beat switches up. I think Drake rapped his ass off on a couple songs, but I will say that my like... Middle of the Ocean. Middle of the Ocean.

Middle of the Ocean. It still is not like an album that I've listened to every song, and I think they're all good. I personally think 21 Savage is the worst rapper alive. I know people love him. I'm so bad at rap. 21 Savage, some of his flow is the guy at the party who says he can freestyle and he's like i'm gonna rap like look at me i'm wearing this hat and i have a cat and what do you think about that and it's just like this monotone like a b a b and i was like this is like a poem that a little kid wrote but i have you know i know people love him and whatever. But when I hear some of his rhymes, I'm like, oh, my God.

But they set the fucking world on fire with that one. It's very cool to get to a point where you can just drop. I guess they did the rollout with the fake Howard Stern interview and the fake Vogue cover and all that. I didn't see that. It was also a week late because one of the guys who was producing it got COVID. So it was supposed to come out the week before. Oh, really? Yeah.

They did this. They had a fake Howard Stern interview, which was funny. I showed you this fight. It ended up being fake. They're like, what type of porn do you watch? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. So that was fake. Oh, yeah, the top.

The top. Just the best top. That was cool. They did a fake Vogue cover. They did a very cool roll out so that was I like the I think James

from Failing Up or Throwing Fits Now had a tweet that was just like it was a screenshot of one I don't know what song it's from

and it was Drake and it was like just took an Adderall feel like I could rip a tree out and he was like why does Drake think Adderall

works like this and like dude I take Adderall I fucking clean the shit out of my room and fucking just watch porn for hours. How about 21 Savage said he wipes his dick on her bra. With her bra. I whip my dick on whatever is the closest piece of cloth. I'm kind of laying there and I just kind of reach out like this.

Whatever I happen to grab. I whipped my dick on a Halloween costume the other day. That poor girl goes to put up a throne. The skeleton one. No, no, not the skeleton one. Yeah, I had to throw them both away. Yeah, you did. Quickly, a couple more things here.

In the viral world, this Philadelphia man got all the love in the world. Oh, that was fantastic. I actually didn't see the video itself. I in the world. I thought this was fantastic. I actually didn't see the video itself. I saw the poster. I thought the poster was fantastic. So do I. But do you think that eating a rotisserie chicken is that crazy of a thing? No, but it's 40 days in a row. 40 days in a row. But that's

fucking walking the park for you. That's light work. I couldn't eat a whole I could eat a whole rotisserie chicken, but I'd be like, oh my god. Every time I eat a rotisserie chicken, I eat a whole one. You do all the dark meat and everything? I mean, look, I eat it. I bet he is. I eat it like I fucking eat my chicken wings.

I eat the good parts and I fucking If you came in and you're like, well, the bones aren't clean. There's still a lot of tendons here, but yeah, I'm not eating those. Yeah, yeah. This guy, though, I mean, he had 40 rotisserie chickens In 40 nights And he had

He had like a New Josh Hartnett movie What was Like Where He was like On like a On an abandoned pier

Behind the Walmart Yeah That's good to say Luckily he was on an aircraft carrier Yeah no And he's like Fist pumping And there's signs

That eat that And all that shit It was a very I thought that was really Dude that's the stuff That like still makes me believe in the internet. Yes. Where it's like, all right, we can still fucking – And this guy –

There's some good here still. He probably just started with his buddies. It was a challenge. I could do – I could eat chicken five days in a row. I could do it 10 days in a row. I could do it 20. I could do it 40. No, you couldn't.

Yes, I can. All of a sudden, you have a – Dude, the best part on the poster of the hour is just that this is not a party. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. All right, so my question here for one minute, man, is who do you think is better? The 40 chickens in 40 days or the dudes chugging the eight cricket lads who were drinking pints and puking everywhere? Oh, man. These guys, they're chugging five pints as fast as they can for charity, and they all just chug, puke, chug, puke, and

they're just laughing and having a grand old time. This is a great question. It's a really hard question. Because both of them are just boys being boys, and this is also why I think boys are better than girls, because girls would never do this shit. Girls would never be like, let's eat 40 chickens in a row. And they would never be like, let's puke and rally. This is fun.

This is just guys being like, let's make life awesome right now. I'll say this about the – because I think my brother told me when we were watching the video, and he said this reminds me of your Indianapolis video with PMT where we were all just puking all over each other with milk. Yes. And what I like about that video, I think it's very funny. I love that video. And like every year the anniversary comes around Like punch punch, this is my favorite parcel video It is, I think the fact

I think the funny, my favorite part about it Is that we're all laughing and having fun Which I wish the lads were doing Sometimes I like Stoneface I wish the boys were laughing And being like this is fucking not fuked We need a little more fun to it.

It was very, like, methodical. It was also hilarious. It's hilarious in its own separate way,

but we're talking fun. Again, these are like apples and oranges. This is 40 days and this is a lot of things.

First, just like the boys being like, let's get five pints each and just go puke in the backyard. You know what I

love? The beginning to that video, he's like, it's November 4th It's 4.30pm On November 4th Like dating it

Like it matters Like that was important For some reason Looks like a fucking Fuck what's his name The guy in In Homeland When he's just like staring

Into the camera Being like Brody Brody Trying to prove Proof of life November 5th I am Sergeant Brody

I'm going to fucking blow up the Vice President And then just chug and puke Chug and puke But that guy like fist pumping about eating So I'm going with the boys I just Fellas if I could give you some advice, I like some laughing. Spice it up with the laughing.

And that's pretty clear because I over laugh all the fucking time. But that's the fun of it. It's because I'm having a lot of fun a lot of times. I'm going with the chicken, I think, actually, because 40 days of it. I mean, he developed like a cult following of people with signs. I didn't check out his Twitter any more than the retweet I saw. Does he have a following? I don't know. I didn't check out his Twitter any more than the retweet I saw. Does he have a following? I don't know. I'd rather just leave it.

I just know this one guy ate 40 chickens in 40 days. I'm fucking done with it. And we'll wrap up here with some inside barstool. Oh, no, wait. Real quick. The family who turned their dead golden retriever into a rug. Too much. I don't know what that is. That's crazy. You know when you have a bear rug? It has the head and everything. Way too much. That's crazy. It's like when you have a bear rug. Oh, no. I know what it is.

It's a dog. It has the head and everything. Way too much. That's like some hockey locker room shit where you can't ever step on the logo. Yeah. Like, don't ever step on a dog. Yeah. You just took away half your floor.

I guess you could wrap up with it, but if you step... If you use it as a blanket, it's weird. Don't fucking excuse this shit. No, no. But you definitely can't step on it. No. That's fucking some bizarre shit. That's excuse this shit. No, but you definitely can't step on it. No. That's fucking some bizarre shit. That's some disrespectful shit.

Again, if you're doing that, treat it like a hockey locker room. Beat the shit out of your brother when he steps on a dog. That's funny. Inside Barstool here on One Minute Man. We got some outtakes from me and Jackie filming our commercial for the Mugsy Jean Moon Man Sherpa Denim Jacket collaboration, which is available right now on the Barstool Sports Store. Black denim with a soft sherpa on the inside. Me and Jackie decided to set out and film this.

Now, it was when you guys were traveling, and so it was just me and Jackie. So I think Jackie kind of came up with the idea of, like, let's make it like, you know, Pavs and Nick are not here. You're stuck with me. Is Nick around? Nick is not around, you know, Pavs and Nick are not here. You're stuck with me. Is Nick around? Nick is not around, no. Is Pavs around?

Pavs is not around, but once again, I'm here. Yeah, no, I know. I got the new Moon Man Muggsy Sherpa jacket coming out. I want to make like a cool video. You know, John had his jacket and sneakers. Like, he always does cool videos. Well, we can make a cool video. I can make you a cool video.

Well, let's just do what John does. We'll just do it like John. We'll just do it like John. And you do it like Pabst. And I'll do it similar to what Pabst does. Yes. Right. You do it like Pabst.

I'll do it like Pabst. You will be, let's say it together. You will be Pabst. Plus Pabst. And make a cool video. Make a cool video. The new Moon Man Mugsy jean jacket keeps you, it's warm enough to keep you, no. And Mugsy jacket to, oh wait, but then it's the banana. Inside cigarettes, it's the banana cigarettes. Moon Man Mugsy jacket with the Sherpa lining to keep you warm outside, but it's not

bulky so you can look cool when you wear it inside. And you smoke your, and you eat your bananas while you smoke. What's cooler than a jacket, a cig, and a banana? Get your Moonman Mugsy jackets today. Jackie, that sucks. It was good, didn't it? And that banana sucks too. What are you doing that Saturday for the boys?

I need a barn. This jacket is f***ing cool though. Got this satin on the sleeves. Sleeves don't get bunched up when you put it on. And it is very warm in the jacket, but the sleeves stay light. All right, I got to get a kid in a ballgame in a barn. And Jackie did a great job. She did so good.

When she was like, again, I'm still right here. Yeah. It was very, somebody said it was very old Tool Sunny-esque and I didn't even think about it until afterwards. It was very like Sweet D, like hello, I'm still here, like no, no, no, shut the fuck up. And then we got all excited, we'll do it like John. We'll do it like John. It was very like

Mac and Charlie coming up with a plan that mimics Dennis is what it was. We'll just do it like Dennis. Yeah, we'll do it like Dennis. Dennis does it all the time. Let's just do it like him. But so the video, it came out very funny. It's just me trying to be cool

because when John and Pavs makes videos, they're cool. They smoke cigarettes and they do this cool shit. So me and Jackie can do it. But there's a couple extra, like 30 minutes with the footage

where we were just, I don't know what I was thinking when we're coming up with a feature film when this needed to be like a one minute commercial. Dude, we used to do it all the time with fucking making a gambler. We would i was thinking we're coming up with a feature film when this needs to be like a one minute commercial we used to all the time with fucking making a gambler where it would be like we're cutting all of this yeah why are we filming for six hours i know fucking eight minutes but that's also how you get the good you know yeah

but it was at one point jackie was like i can come up with good ideas and we start throwing ideas back and forth uh just like riffing on you know like just just totally off the top of the head. And at one point I was like, okay, I'm an alien. And I've just come down from my planet. And Earth is much colder than my planet. So I'm freezing cold. And this kid gives me the jacket to make me stay warm. But once I put the jacket on, I also look really fucking cool. Because the jacket's cool.

So we'll call it, I'll be like the cool alien I'm from another planet and I'm not used my temperature my plans are much hotter and then I come to this planet I'm freezing cold no I'm not a robot I'm an alien so I'd be like I am cold no that was to be wrote I would just be like I'm speaking a different language for the nailing I think I'm cold you see the movie Encino Man? No, I haven't. Brendan Fraser, he's a caveman who they find in like – they find him like frozen in LA. And they thaw him out and he becomes a caveman who goes to school. It's with Rudy, Sean Astin. And the whole time I was thinking that.

It was like because they bring the caveman to school and he's like the coolest kid in school. So I was thinking that the whole time, but as an alien. So we had this idea where I sat down and I was like, those ideas suck, Jackie. Like, that sucked. And then we both look at each other and go, cool alien? Those ideas all sucked,

Jackie. Cool alien? And then we went to the green screen room and we filmed me like I was, we were going to green screen me into the set of Star Trek. We were going to green screen me into the set of like a video game where I was like dodging fucking, uh, like things in outer space and just none of it.

Like, like of course, like none of it. We couldn't, we couldn't use it. I just had a, I just had a jacket on and, and that was it. I had a use it. You were even in an alien costume. I just had a jacket on, and that was it. I had a helmet on. I was going to be an alien somehow.

But us going, clearly. It was very funny, and none of it made the cut. But the video itself came out great. And then last thing here inside Barstool. Tico Texas gets her ring. I'm not the only person at Barstool who has not won a championship. Tico Texas and the Astros win the World Series. I had to go through the live streams with Frank,

and I think I would probably say Frank is better than Tico. Really? I don't know. I haven't seen that many clips. Tico just screams like Frank does, but at least you know that somewhere Frank knows what's going on. Tico, I'll give her credit. I think over the course of the playoffs,

she kind of figured out baseball a little bit more. In the beginning, she was calling them the Houston Asteroids, and I don't think she knew a single thing about it. But she puts on a tiara and a sash, and she's screaming and popping bottles with confetti, being like, I did it. And at the same time, Smitty somehow falls down on

top of the chairs and punches another hole in the wall. You punched a hole in the wall? I think it was the hole in the wall from before. That was me. Oh, okay. So maybe not then. But that was a complete accident. That was like, I think that was during the Bruins thing. I didn't even punch. I just smacked it. I was like walking. Those walls. Yeah, it's a complete accident. That was like, I think that was during the Bruins thing.

I didn't even punch. I just smacked it. I was like walking. Those walls. Yeah, it's a thin wall. But Smitty falling all over the place. Philly Maze, Max was just looking like distraught. Well, Chico, Texas just celebrates in their faces and screams and yells.

I don't know. What what would you what do you think would you rather do an electric chair with lose an electric chair with to tank or lose an electric chair to tico um i would because what's funny is i was doing it with him but i kept thinking about versus you still lost it to him because he was hoping for the loss right by the way speaking of mac you mean mattress mac no i uh well oh you mean robress Mac? No, I, well. Oh, you mean Rob McEnany? No, Max. Oh, Max. Yeah, yeah.

We can talk about Mattress Mac, too. 75 million. I feel like we did not win that. Like, wait, I think we're just using it as promo, but I'd be like, like, we just lost $75 million to Mattress Mac. Like, the Barstool Sportsbook is using it as promo. Like, biggest payout in, like, I think it's biggest payout in sportsbook history. Yeah, yeah. But we, not with us. Uhhuh no it was with barcelona we took we took yeah

oh we definitely did not get enough promo i didn't even know we did it wait are you sure i'm 100 positive he's wearing a barcelona sportsbook sweatshirt um one of the vps how did bleacher report was sitting with him filming him when filming him when Bryce Harper hit the home run. How did we not? Really? I know this for a fact, because when I did it on One Minute Man, I just used the footage anyway.

And I was like, I hope nobody sees this, but it had a big BR, and they were the ones with him. How did we take the action but not get any of the content? I'm going to double check. I'm 100% sure. I literally was saying in my head, and it says out loud, when I saw that they –

because you know what I'm talking about? Bryce Harper hit that home run, and Mac is just sitting there, and they're zooming in on him. And I said, how were we not at the forefront of this? How did we not do this? And we did. Wait, that's crazy it is uh i'm trying to find like uh yeah even like so i'm looking at like our like our headline so pat wrote the blog so yeah i mean here's part of my take has that like

he's in the barstool sportswear sweatshirt the dave had a retweet where it was like I think it was like a Penn VP or something like that let me double check that yo shout out to Penn being able to take on $75 million worth of action

right like as long as that doesn't affect my payout good for you guys could you oh my god imagine that

imagine if somehow that bet like I would yeah this is what people like people get upset about all the time

when it's like like with with John Henry where it's like with John Henry, where it's like, you signed Mo Salah, but you're not going to sign Xander Bogarts? They're different things. They're different things. I'm trying to find this. But again, I'm 100% positive. I'm 100% positive.

I did not know. Now, I also know it was multiple bets. I know he put down $10 million then he did 3 million and 3 million a couple, like a couple other times. So maybe we didn't pay out the whole thing. I think we did. I don't know.

That is a terrible job by us then, because we should have been like, we are the ones we should have been with mattress Mac the whole time. We, yo, we fucking film everybody at every one of their bets for like $500 worth of action. $500, you fucking wits, bro. Everyone's got $10 on it.

We have the biggest bet in human history at our sportsbook, and we don't have an electric chair for him, but we have an electric chair for the guy with the $5 parlay. Also, it is someone who— So he won $30 million from $10 million10 million each from **** and Barstool. Okay. But still. Blur out those names. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

But still. But we should have $10 million worth of access to him for the fucking... But also, dude, if you're trying to get him to do a fucking live stream, dude, I have $10 million gamble money. I'm not doing a fucking live stream. No, no, no. You just can suck my ass. But bleacher clearly had some sort of deal with him where they had like that footage you know let us come sit next to you and film you jack mccarthy could just sit there with a fucking phone um man that is crazy that's gotta feel so good though you win the championship and

you get 75 mil after all those like the video of him turning Breaking Bad in Philly, going from, like, you know, humble Mattress Mac to being like, fuck you, fuck you, Philly trash. Bro, by the way, also shout out Kate Upton. Yeah, she was right. Motherfuck you guys. Dude, to the victor go the spoils. Houston won it all, man. And what a fucking moonshot from Jordan Alvarez.

Dude, I've never seen a ball hit like that. 4.50, like, truly dead center to dead center to win the World Series, basically. I know he had a cold World Series, so you can't say. I'm always so shocked. Not shocked, but impressed when it's like the big bat comes up, and you're like, we need him to hit a home run here. And then he just does it. Yeah.

He just does it. And it's like holy fucking shit that to me is one of the got to be the greatest feeling in the world um all right let's get into voicemails and then we'll do an interview don't don't act like you didn't know about thursday boot company we've made multiple pairs of high-end collaborations with them with their leather boots with their suede boots we've made our own sneakers with them thursday boot company is the absolute best i've been to their showroom in new york it smells delicious and all the product is exceptionally high quality but again the smell is really good thursday boot company is a startup that makes the best craft handcrafted boots and sells them direct to consumer at some of the lowest markups in footwear history high highest

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Heel it here, man. Do a little Sean Paul on him. Sean Paul. Well, I don't really care what people say. I don't really care what people say. I don't really watch what them one do. Let's go. You don't have to do that.

Well, it's helpful for me. Oh, okay. Well, then fuck you. Welcome KFC fights, everybody. I have a question here. Let's give a scenario. It's sad boy season. You're walking down the sidewalk.

There's a light drizzle of snow. What song do you have going on in your headphones that really gets you in that sad, snowy mood? That's a great-ass question, dude. That's a great question, bro. You guys are all about your sad music. I don't really do that. Yeah? Dude.

I don't try. I actually act. You don't fucking dump water on your i don't i actually i fucking dump water on your own head in the shower part of the reason my extra shit part of the reason i don't like taylor a lot is i don't like to listen to music and get sad and a lot of her shit when i tried to when she became like a megastar i was like all right let me give this a listen and i was like i'm crying right now yeah yeah i've also found out i know i know there's one version of taylor i like it's a weird version of Taylor

I don't think it's very popular My favorite Taylor Swift song is False God and I don't think anyone in the world likes that but False God and Maroon and Karma all kind of have this sound to it that's very similar and I don't know how to describe it but it's a very

it's not the poppy Taylor it's not the country Taylor it's kind it's a very, it's not the poppy Taylor. It's not the country Taylor. It's kind of like a brooding, weirder, I don't know. But that's my Taylor. But if I'm trying to do like snow on the ground, sad, bleak, dreary. To me, that's not a very musical moment. Like snow. Are we talking like gray?

You want it to be gloomy gray? I'm going through a list right now where I could do everything. I remember everything by John Prine is like – I remember everything is fire. The Grand Tour by George Jones is flames. Yeah, I don't know these types of things. A Little Colder Weather by Zac Brown Band. It kind of fits with the snow. Zac Brown Band became a little too poppy for me. But I like some of their newer stuff.

Dude, again, I could just read you this whole fucking list. I mean, anything off folklore is Flames. Evermore. Flames. It is Hello Walls, Willie Nelson. Yeah. Do you have a Sad Boy playlist? Yeah.

Everybody go check out. What is that on? On Spotify, it's just called Sad Boy Season. Do you have a name on Spotify? Yeah, I guess so. I have an account. It should be like at Feidelberg. It's my Instagram picture.

I think it's me, you, and Dan on the... I don't even know how to change it. What's your name, though? I don't fucking know. I don't know. How do I find out? I'm KFC Barstool on Instagram. On settings. I'm John Henry Festool on Instagram. On settings.

I'm John Henry Feidelberg, right? I would imagine that's what my name is. Let me see where it says mine. It might be, like, your name versus your... You're John Henry Feidelberg. Yeah. Songs I Really Like is a playlist. Yeah, those are songs I like.

I have weird... I like that. I stopped updating it like three years ago i got hacked that that one period of time for like six straight months so i have the weirdest uh like my library is so weird like all these weird people that i don't even know it's oh i do i still have some fucking uh i still have some fucking uh i still follow playlists from ex-girlfriends Let's just put it that way

And every time I scroll by it It makes me sad and I go what? The very bottom of KFC I can't unfollow it She'll know I unfollowed it No one in the world will know Dude she has like three fucking people Who follow the playlist

Who fucking cares? I care dude I can't let her fucking know I unfollowed her playlist. I have like... She also, by the way, the playlist is fucking fire. But I can't listen to it either.

I uploaded a bunch of old songs from K Marco's old music vlog, Hype Floats. So I have a 2009, 10, 11, and 12 playlist there. I have the Pornh hub shazam playlist remember when i shazamed all those songs yeah in uh leo lulu's face porn videos and then i have the guilty pleasures and the christmas video so i have i have a few playlists that actually count and then if

you scroll the rest they're just weird fucking uh like like dance european like dance music people i actually want to see how many people follow my ex-girlfriend's playlist because like i could definitely get away with unfollowing it but i won't who's our next voicemail so crew what's going on uh listening to midnight's album like one does and of course we all know the sad boy lyric uh but there's another lyric as well where in antihero she starts by saying uh i have this thing where i get older but just never wiser which is just a direct ripoff of the queen's i don't live and learn i just live which is also my twitter bio shout out jackie uh so my question is what celebrity would you be like surprised at most that they listen to KFC radio? Holy shit.

No way. This person listens? And what celebrity would you be like, oh, God, I really wish this person didn't listen? All right. Thanks. By the way, I'm one of three people who follow KFC. She has absolutely no idea I still follow it. She probably hasn't thought about this playlist in four years.

Never. But it's flames, dog. She has absolutely no idea I still follow it. She probably hasn't thought about this playlist in four years. Never. Never. But it's flames, dog. The number one person I wouldn't want to listen to KC... Mitchell Miller right now. Mitchell Miller came out and was like, I'm a KC Radio fan, dog. I'd be like, let's maybe keep that one tight.

Nah, I'd take it. Yeah? Yeah, bro. Dude, I'd fucking take any kind of publicity. The number one surprise? Dave Portnoy? Yeah. That porno yeah that's it that's it right there the guy at my own fucking company the director of content if he's ever listened to a single i i i yeah he's never listened to it that's not that's i mean that's not even like we're

making a joke no he's literally has a director stating a fact um wait i'm sorry i missed the question because i was looking for my ex-girlfriend girlfriend Spotify The number one celebrity Who you would be surprised That he listened to The number one celebrity You wouldn't want Listening to it Okay Number one celebrity

I'd be surprised Listened to it We've had a few people In here who like And like I'm sure They probably listened To an episode To get a little

Yeah When Rob McElhinney Came in He knew all the details Of our very most Recent videos I think someone Gave him a cheat sheet

And he very graciously Remembered all the information But like we most recent videos I think someone gave him a cheat sheet and he very graciously remembered all the information but like we know that he wasn't like Christina P was talking about stuff yeah but that wasn't even

the most recent I don't think yeah that was cool Christina P knew she's on 30th episode probably she'll be out this week that always does feel good

where I'm like wow you listen to our shit it is when Bert said that about us that was like the crowning achievement of our career Christina actually says something like that where she's like me me tom and bert and we just love

you guys so much right and i'm like oh my it's just like a known thing those are like kc radio guys the family like those are like the first families fucking podcast for real they really are um so bert bert was probably the the reality version of this i think the the the dream version of this would be like um who would you want like who is like the tastemaker right now that it's like oh shit i mean if the rock says something it's always a big deal but who's the guy that you would want like people would be like holy shit if that guy listens we've got like leo is not like a cool guy like when it comes to this shit you know like not no not with this kind of i i would want if if

the always sunny podcast crew of guys said like we we you know started the podcast because like we listened to the kc radio guys and like it sounded so much fun yeah for me yeah that would be the pinnacle and i would say that that mitchell miller and andrew tate are the two guys i wouldn't want i i i i would want uh patricerice bertrand to say he listens to it imagine that anyone on the boston browns i'm such a fucking eight-year-old boy it's not that far-fetched like pasta is a close enough connection that he's like he could be like yo you got to listen to this this clip really quick from these guys that i listen to dude can i tell you a story so my dad got a boat this summer and and he was saying about calling it pasta and i was like hey dad

you can't name your fucking boat after my friend how about that that fucking cannot happen bro you're gonna name it something else you're not naming it fucking pasta he's like no we can do it can be a little bit Italian

but like Bruins colors, maybe. I was like, how about fucking no, dude? How about fucking absolutely not? I was like, bro, dude, what if he comes over? What if my friend comes over one day? I have to show him your goddamn boat. How about fucking no, dad? Amazing.

All right, last voicemail today is brought to you by 3Chi. The days of long road trips to recreational states for overpriced dispensaries are over. I don't fucking know that. Amazing. All right, last voicemail today is brought to you by 3Chi. The days of long road trips to recreational states for overpriced dispensaries are over. 3Chi offers premium THC products that get delivered straight to your door, including dispensary-grade Delta 9 THC. With the same effects as traditional marijuana, it's hemp-derived, making it federally legal and that much easier to get your hands on. And the best part, 3Chi is giving Barstool listeners an exclusive 5% off all products. Use code STOOL5 at 3chi.com and experience Cannabis Perfected now. Must be 21 or older to purchase. That's 3, the number 3, chi.com.

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Yo, fights, KFC. Everybody in the back Um Second time Long time Um A little drunk Yeah

Watched Philly's Game Night World Series Baby Let's fucking go Didn't work out Didn't work out So Funny story about the jersey Oh god i have not washed or i mean i've worn it every home game i spilled beer all over it but i always get super drunk

and leave it places and then i throw it on before the next game and every time i've done that they've won and now I can't watch it I'm home but I can't watch it so my question is what is the stupidest sports thing you or just in general stupidest thing you have done as a superstition

like I I wanna watch it I'm gonna wear it tomorrow I'm gonna wear it fucking Thursday I'm gonna wear it Saturday if it comes to it but it won't because we're winning Thursday

you know my friends this guy was just covered in We'll wear it fucking Thursday. We'll wear it Saturday if it comes to it, but it won't because we're winning Thursday. No. My friend. This guy was just covered in piss and beer and all that for no fucking reason. Sucks for you. When I was watching the Knicks in the playoffs in like the 90s, it wasn't like anything crazy, but I had a shirt that I used to tie around my head. I don't know why.

I would take the sleeves and I would tie it around the back, almost like a big do-rag. I always made sour cream and onion dip, but I made it with the sour cream and the powder. I didn't have a canned dip. I had to mix the two. I had to do that with Lipton, and we all had our certain places to sit. And we were pretty strict about it that's the that's the only one I've ever done in earnest was seats in oh four was like we like in my basement like I am I see my dad one time at her seat my mom was doing like an arm workout while she was watching the game

and a rally started and she was like I can't stop and it was like a sustained rally and she was like she also one time the dog was sitting on the couch and he got up and she like picked him up and like held him down you gotta stay there

and he started to move and she was like you gotta stay there it is it is one of those seats is the easiest one to like yeah

it's so funny it is the it is like it's one of those things like when someone on the internet tells you, you're just a fucking idiot, you fucking loser.

No, I didn't. It's not a real fucking thing. But then when I have a shirt that we won two games in a row on, I'm like, what if? What if? I just don't like to tempt the gods. You know what I mean? What if?

I know. I know I'm being ridiculous. But what if? What if? What if you got to the pearly gates And they were like by the way All that shit was real And you guys could have helped win those games If you all just paid more attention

Not me And there are a lot of times Sometimes I'll do it And I'll throw it in the washer And I regret those times. Because then, but then there are times, because then almost again, because then what happens is almost I'm rooting for them to lose.

Because then it won't be your fault. I'm sorry. No, I'm still rooting for them to win. Right? Because then, Well, you're always rooting for them to win, but if you, Because then, but like, no, because I'm not rooting for them to lose, because if I lose, then it proves that I did it. If they lose, it proves it's my fault. Right, right, right.

So I am ready for them to win still. But then if you find out that it's you, then you can resume it. I forget what I'm trying to say, but there are times where it almost becomes like... Counterintuitive. Counterintuitive. I was going to say antithetical. Counterintuitive to like do it, because I'm like, well, now I'm like conflicted about what I want to happen here.

Right, right, right. But it is a fickle beast, the Super Session. I get furious. Every time I drink something, I get fucking furious. Particularly no-hitters. Dude, how did you set it? Come on. Bro, I get mad when it's like, I say

a team's going to win. Dude, you jinxed it. I'm like, bro, look at my fucking 15-year history. I say these teams are going to win all the fucking like, dude, you jinxed it. I'm like, bro, look at my fucking 15-year history. I say these teams are going to win all the fucking time. I didn't jinx any of them. You think it's going to start tonight? Right. You think it's starting tonight?

The Bruins are going to beat the fucking Blues tonight? You think they have to beat the shit out of the Blues tonight, by the way? You think it's going to start tonight? No, dude. It's not going to start. I fucking win games, bro. Man, look at mine. You're right about me. You're right about me.

I fucking lose games that's what i fucking do all right interview time uh bobby kelly ari shafir who the all-time greats this show is sponsored by better help unfortunately life doesn't come with a user manual so when it's not working for you it's normal to feel stuck uh we've talked about that quite often on this show i would say mental health is like number three about the things we talk about. Navigating any of life's challenges can make you feel unsure. Whether it's a career change, a new relationship, becoming a parent. I don't know, you run a podcast and somehow that stresses you out.

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at betterhelp.com slash KFC. That's betterhelp.com slash KFC. I took two months off in the summer. I bought a tiny house and land up in New Hampshire and I just stayed up there. I didn't do shit. I did a couple gigs here and there. And then when I was ready to come back, I was like, let's go.

I knew the special was happening, so I was like I knew I was just going to go fucking do everything I can. I'm going to keep going too. Fuck it. Yeah. Yeah. Where's the place in New Hampshire at? Squam Lake.

I don't know that. I was hoping you'd say North Conway. It's like the only part I know. No, no, no. North Conway is like up near Maine. Okay. We're like,

there's Winnipeg Sake. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, I know Winnipeg Sake. Yeah, a bunch of fucking dirt balls. Yeah, yeah. And then Squam Lake where there's good people.

Squam Lake is on Golden Pond. Okay. You know that movie? I know, I know. God, I'm old. I'm at that age where motherfuckers are going,

no. Dude, I, how? I was, to be fair, I was being polite and pretending, I don't. God, I'm old. I'm at that age where motherfuckers are going, no. Dude, I was being polite and pretending. I know. I was going to go with it until you outright asked. I had to be honest about it. I saw it in your fucking eyes. How old are you? I'm 52. Shit.

You tried to sneak a 40 in there. You were 452. I feel 42. I'm going through it a little bit, too. You look great You know how this actually all kind of came about Just like not came about Because we've always been in contact

But recently kind of rekindled I needed to do Like a quick Instagram ad For SiriusXM And they wanted me to just read Like go to SiriusXM and download the app And I was like that's so fucking boring like I want to you know what can we do

and my producer says check out this video of Bobby Kelly. He just went on Jim and Sam and he was like look how good Bobby looks so I made like an Instagram swipe up being like go get serious and look at this sexy motherfucker.

Look at this little sex dog. And then like a day later was when you talked about the surgery you got. Yeah. Now you've lost so much weight. And I was like, I fucking knew it. I fucking knew you were looking sexy. Well, here's the thing is that, you know, getting the surgery is like being gay. You know what I mean?

It's like, do I come out? Yeah. No. So you've been doing this for like two years, right? No, no, no. I thought it was fat last time I was here. I'm sorry, it was 900 pounds. But how long was it?

I thought you said something about- No, I got it in June, July. July. Oh, all right. Never mind. I got it in June. June 27th. Okay.

I got it. It was all planned out for a year. The whole thing was planned out For like Almost a year and a half Cause you can't just go get it Like if you say to a dude If a guy's like Yeah come in Tuesday

Don't do it You're in Mexico Right yeah yeah And we're talking Brazilian butt lifts With fucking What do you call it Fucking

Like cements Yeah yeah They were putting cement In chicks asses In girls asses Oh yeah yeah That's what it was Cocked

Yeah it looked good For an hour and a half. And you sit on it and it flattens. You get like poison in you and die. Oh, someone's calling me. Who's that? Oh, forget it. I thought it was Ari.

That's a cool watch. Oh, thanks, man. I'm sorry. I just stopped. Let me shut my fucking phone off. Oh, you got the flashlight on. It's just a fucking nightmare. Fuck off, everybody.

Don't think I didn't notice, though. The purple shades, the purple watch, and the purple. You know, you're on point. Yeah. Well, you know, it's so funny because I dress. You're in your Ellen John era. I still dress like the fat dude, right? I have all these clothes I had to give away.

Yeah. And then I was at Hilarity's, and I had my little New Balance. I got plantar fasciitis. New Balance, first of all, is a fucking cool brand. Badass brand. Fucking come on right now, baby. There's like everybody who doesn't know sneakers

are like, that's a dad shoe. And the people who know sneakers are like, I would love to collaborate with New Balance. They're like the coolest brand in the world. Let's be honest. They weren't.

They have the most comfortable shoe in the world. It's the white shoe that every fucking grandfather. And I want that shoe so bad. But my wife will not let me get that shoe. I think it's come back around, by the way, now. If you wear it with this outfit, the thing is, if you wear it with shorts and your socks pulled up and your polo tucked in, you look like a dickhead.

You wear it with a nice fit. Look, he's like 17. That's not them, though. They're different. They're big. They're different. They're big. They're wide. They have support. It's very medical looking.

You know what I mean? It's not. You can't. But I have my new belts on, and I have the black, the 1080 fucking ZV Vickies, whatever they are. They're nice shoes. Most comfortable shoe ever. I love them. 1080s.

I have them on, but they're slip-ons no laces right and then we're definitely getting into grandpa territory yeah but they're cool no laces you pop a slip-on on me

but they're cool like nurses wear I got my Velcro but I do the criss-cross with it so it's pretty cool you know I make an X with it

their mouth's getting dry but no but the kid at the club, he goes, Bill Squire, very funny guy, Cleveland.

He goes, yo, dude, we'll do the podcast but we gotta go to the store after. I'm like, for what? He goes, we're gonna get your show shoes.

I'm like, what the fuck are show shoes? He goes, you need, those sneakers look like you're a nurse. You can't wear those on stage. You're such a killer comic.

You're one of the best and you're wearing those shoes. You lost all the weight. So he took me to the ghetto mall, which is mostly shoe stores. Yeah. It's got a food court. And a Boost Mobile too.

There's no... Yeah, yeah, yeah. There's a couple... There's no Nordstrom's. There's no Macy's. Where they used to be is still up, but it's available. It's there's no Macy's where they used to be is still up but it's you know

available is the other fucking thing but it's I'll shoot so we went in dude I got these yellow canary yellow with Asian writing on it

what brand? it was Adidas okay Adidas but they're fucking they lit up and it's all I don't know what type of Asian is

I don't know if it's Japanese, Korean. It's just a bunch of shit. And then I bought a hoodie. This hoodie that said, you know, fear is a decision. Courage is a choice. Sweat is just pain leaving the body. Yeah, but it's got a dragon on the sleeves and on the face. More Asian writing.

So I wear this shit on stage. I'm 52. I was going to say, what are you doing taking advice from anybody about how to go on a comedy stage? I will try it. I got to try. Well, you tried. So I went on stage.

You certainly tried. Dude, I forgot. I was leaving so early in the morning. I just went to the airport in this. So I go, my wife's picking me up at the airport with the kid. She literally, I see her looking through the rear view mirror like, and then she sticks her head out. What the fuck?

And then we went to a Chinese restaurant. No way. My wife's like, you can't, you got to go put something else on. I'm like, this is all I got. You look like you're celebrating Chinese New Year. She made me change in the parking lot. I had so much Asian writing on me. I looked like I was being a fucking piece of shit.

Like, yeah, what do you think about this shit? Courage and fear. Whatever my shoe says. Dude, when we were in high school, I went to a boarding school. We had to wear jacket and tie. It wasn't a uniform, but you just had a dress code. So you could wear any button down you wanted. You have to wear a tie and a blazer and pants you but everything you could fucking your own choice yeah and one kid his dad came back from vegas

and he brought him a shirt that was covered in fire and had dragons all over and we were like dude i'll bet you like 100 bucks 200 bucks whatever like high school amount of money that you won't wear that shirt 30 days straight. And he's like, I'll take it. He's like the friend who ate stuff for weird money. Yeah, we all have that friend. Put stuff in his butt. For like $4.

Yeah, for a sip of something. I'll give you a sip of this Mad Dog 2020 if I can stick my mom's shoe in your ass. Okay. And so we were like, if you lock in now, you have to do it. Full month. Right. And he was like, for sure.

But then we spent the whole month just intentionally spilling shit on him. So like, we didn't have washing machines and stuff. We had to send out your laundry. And so like, every day he was covered in more ketchup and mustard and fucking It was like a painting. Chowder. We smell like

Oh my bad Joey. My bad Joey. Oh my gosh. Chowder. It's like you got cum all over your shirt. Yeah. That's like a yeast infection.

That's terrible. I can't believe though that you you wouldn't be like fuck you. Like I go on stage wearing this this and this. No I'm not. I guess you gotta I appreciate that about you wouldn't be like, fuck you. Like, I go on stage wearing this, this, and this.

No, I'm not. I guess you got to adapt. I appreciate that about you. You got to listen to the younger kids, man. But there's a fine line, you know? I'll tell you this, though. I got more compliments on those stupid canary fucking North Korean riding Adidas. I mean, from smoking chicks.

Yeah. Oh, the Jew is here. The Jew has arrived. Mazel tov. Mazel tov. Mazel tov. Shabbat shalom. Shabbat shalom.

Shabbat shalom. Shabbat shalom. Shabbat shalom. Shabbat shalom. Shabbat shalom. Shabbat shalom. Shabbat shalom. Shabbat shalom.

Shabbat shalom. Shabbat shalom. Shabbat shalom. Shabbat shalom. Shabbat shalom. Shabbat shalom. Shabbat shalom. Shabbat shalom.

Shabbat shalom. Shabbat shalom. Shabbat shalom. Shabbat shalom. Shabbat shalom. Shabbat shalom. Shabbat shalom. Shabbat shalom.

Shabbat shalom. Shabbat shalom. Shabbat shalom. Shabbat shalom. Shabbat shalom. Shabbat shalom. Shabbat shalom. Shabbat shalom.

Shabbat shalom. Shabbat shalom. Shabbat shalom. Shabbat shalom. Shabbat shalom. Shabbat shalom. Shabbat shalom. Shabbat shalom.

Shabbat shalom. Shabbat shalom. We're just talking about how Bobby Kelly was dressed preposterous because he let some youth tell him how to dress on stage. Did you really? Bill Squire told me I had to get show shoes. Bill Squire? You know Bill Squire from Cleveland. No, I don't. Fat dude? Chubby dude?

Now if I meet him, I'll ignore him. That's just fucking just me. Fuck you, Squire. Hey, man, come on, dude. Chill out. Don't come in so hot. Fuck that guy, dude. Oh, come on. He's a nice guy. Oh, yeah. Do nice guys Don't come in so hot. Fuck that guy, dude. Oh, come on.

He's a nice guy. Oh, yeah. Do nice guys rape kids? He hasn't raped anybody. So you dodged the question. I didn't dodge the question. He did not, I swear, rape any children. You're not around him all the time.

I'm around. He's got kids. Does he rape them? No. Are you out of your mind? Don't feed into it. Oh, my God. You don't need two.

Let him be around kids. No, listen. He's a sweet guy. I bet it starts that way. Where's my camera? Sweet guy. He's not touching his ass because he's very good with kids.

Oh, I bet. Stop it! Yeah. What's wrong with you? Oh, yeah, I'm sorry. I don't apologize for raping children. Stop saying rape! It steals their innocence from me.

Stop saying rape! It steals their innocence. Stop saying rape! It steals their innocence. Stop saying rape. Stop saying rape. Consensually have sex with children. That's not it. That's better. You're right. That's a little better.

That's actually better. It is better. It is better. You said don't come in so hot, and then Ari turned it up a thousand degrees. That's what he does. That's what he does. I mean, he named a special Jew. Yeah. He fucking turned it up a thousand degrees. That's what he does. That's what he does. I mean, he named his special Jew. How fucking happy are you that the world has been doing nothing but talking about Jews

the last two weeks? Help me promote. Oh, it's worth it. I bet if you look at Google search trends, the word Jew and... God, I'm hoping for a second Holocaust. Just push this thing up to the six million views that it should get. Six million views. Nice.

Nice. Nice. Nice. Brilliant. I hope it hits six and you shut it down somehow. Yeah, right? Just stop it right there. Honestly, though, for real, I think it's at two million in four days.

Yeah, it's nutty. That is bananas. People responded to it. Congrats on that. It's so goddamn fucking funny. By the way, one thing I want to remember to talk about before we get into whatever craziness we're going to talk about. Yeah.

Fucking, we were talking about it on the podcast recently. You were talking about the Shabbos goys. Yeah. The goys. We want to make a certain Saturdays are for the goys. You want to make a what? You know what? We had Saturdays for the boys for so long.

We're going to do Saturdays for the goys. Saturdays for the goys. Yeah. I'm a goys. Yeah. I'm a goy. Yeah, we're all going to be right with goys. When I was a counselor, a lifeguard at a Jewish camp, I had a goy corner. Because they had two Catholic kids in the place, and they put us in the corner for a service on Saturdays.

Sure. You were a guard at a camp for Jews? What do you mean? I was a lifeguard, yes. You guarded their lives? I was at the water, at the lake. I had the little yes. You guarded their lives? I was at the water, at the lake. I had the little Jews. Why?

I don't know. It sounds iffy. What do you mean iffy? I don't know. Guard camps, Jews. I don't know. What are you saying now? You're a Nazi guard.

Jesus. You were alive in the 40s. I'm talking about the Holocaust. First of all, they didn't know I was a Nazi. I mean, nobody knew I was a Nazi I mean nobody knew I was a Nazi no I'm not a Nazi

I'm Irish Italian we're not Nazis that's how they got Kyrie they're like what did you just say you devoutly I'm like am I even talking about that

I was like why won't you deny it oh man that I it's a really like a very funny special, and it's very interesting, and you learn about it.

He's talking about mine. I got a special too. I don't like the ginger fucking... I've been here for 20 minutes. You don't have a shirt on that says yours on it. I do. This is my... This is Killbox in fucking Arabic.

Sorry. In Asian language. In Nazi Arabic. Sorry. In Asian language. In Nazi language. Now that we're saying Nazi, it does have Nazi. It kind of looks like SS, right? It does. Yeah, it does look like SS. Good.

I'm glad. You should just name, like, your show should be, your special should just be, like, Guinea Mick. Guinea Mick? Guinea Mick. That's my next one. Guinea Mick Jew Hater. It's just next one. Guinea Mick, Jew hater. It's just me holding Ari by the neck.

Trying to get her to stop me from a finish line. Me holding your nose. There you go. Perfect. Yes, mine is on louisck.com. Bobby's made more money than mine, and mine has more views than his. Well, what do you care about? It's a weird thing where you're at.

It's kind of funny because you would almost think it would be switched. Ari would want the money and you would want the adoration and the views.

Well, he's got the adoration. I mean, he's got the money. He's got money. He's got more money than me. He's looking for some right now. He's like, what's in there? Can I get a couple pennies?

He's got more money than me because he's genius because he found out how much money he needs. Really? Just to live. What do you need? Just to live. Not much. Dog food ain't expensive. Do you want water? He's got more money than me. He's genius because he found out how much money he needs. Really. Just to live. What do you need? A cup?

Not much. Dog food ain't expensive. Do you want water? No, I was thinking of getting some whiskey, but it's dirty. Can you grab him a cup from the kitchen? Oh, nice. Perfect. The classy.

Which one do you want? That one's made with syrup, so take it. This one, how about you have ours? Yeah, I want yours. You got your own Whistlepig? Yep, November 11th. It's launched? November 11th.

I've had that six year. The rye, it's good. It's fucking good. I'm a recovering alcoholic, 37 years. I'll be having water. Let me just pass this. If he was shaky in his sobriety That's really bad

You're good Let me pour it for you Is that enough? You smell it for you Mind you I just lost my 37 years right now I'll do it if you go buy Fucking my special No I'm kidding

His special I watched it last night god damn it dude i am so glad youtube exists and funny is back yeah because it was so many specials you watch him and i'm literally look at my wife and be like is it me because i could be bitter yeah i could be i don't i am a comic i could be better and she's like no it's fucking terrible there's so many dude his is so fucking funny. Doesn't give a fuck. You know what happened? I love the opening.

There's nothing. It just starts. Oh, what a dickhead you are with all those candles, though. Yeah. How long does it take to light? A long time. What a prick. That's for all the Jews that died.

Yeah. Was it some Hanukkah candle thing? Or you just were like, let me have a million candles because I'm a diva asshole. It was a lot. No, the set designer found that they do this stuff in Jerusalem, these candle boxes for Hanukkah. So we were going to harken to whatever, be heady and stuff. But she tested them in her apartment. It was 80 hours.

And then we tested them at the air conditioning at the place the day before. And it was about four and a half hours. Oh, fuck. Yeah, so we had to source 6,000 candles overnight On a Saturday night I just had a fat Tampa band Open up for me Who'd you have? I put him on the

Coltus band Pitbull title Mike Colt Who I love My best friend Had him on the balcony Him and all his chubby friends Playing

Go go go go go Let it go Give it up Love it Kelly Fucking goosh Came out of town Fat side Sticks holding at the bottom

Of the balcony because it wasn't tested for that weight. It was heavy, dude. It was heavy. Fucking thing. I couldn't believe all those candles.

What a fucking... I love the opening, dude. When it... I was shocked at it because it just... Jumps in. You just go, all right, let's go.

Yeah. Too many specials now. Not too many specials. I said that wrong. There's a lot of specials now. So there's no more like, wow, let's do a sketch at the beginning I always hated that

because it's always like some non-sketch actor writing a you're opening with two minutes of like something you're not even that good at I think

the funny thing is I think you gotta do comedy a certain way you gotta do comedy specials a certain way but then you gotta if you're gonna put it on the internet

you gotta do the internet a certain way and like when you watch a viral video funny video when someone when someone says hey dude you gotta watch this video and you open it up and the first 10 seconds aren't that good you're out you know so it's like when i watch and when i watch a youtube video i want to just go now if you sat me down if i was live maybe i would want some more opening but we're talking about a youtube video now so it's just like bam bam, bam, bam, go. I liked Norton's opening to his skit on his special where he got raped by Omar. Oh, my God.

That was good. From the wire? Yeah, you either got to get me or... Omar from the wire? I'm pretty sure he had Omar from the wire. Like Michael K. Williams? Raped Norton. Wow.

I think that's how he opened one of his specials. I do remember that. I thought that it just happened and they got security footage. Oh, no. Yeah, it's just... Yeah, and he was like, can I get that footage? Like, after the fact. He actually paid him $360 to do it.

Oh. Norton doesn't. Norton likes paying for his... Norton just walks around with his pants around his ankles. When you said... He said something like, give a Jew a glass of milk and watch him rain diarrhea for days, I almost passed out. You guys liked it?

I'm glad you liked it. The YouTube thing is funny because when it started, everybody on YouTube was like fucking hilarious, like the best of the best. And then everybody kind of copycats and follows that trend. And you have a lot of people who are okay good mediocre all the way down to bad doing the same thing so there was like a year two whatever three years there just like youtube specials a rain of specials yeah that's and it's like yeah you know and it's fine us now we're the ones making it now so it's on the comic to go is it this it's time yeah but you can also make a special for a thousand dollars now so that's the other That's the only thing. I hate hearing these guys who are like,

I spent my life savings on it, and then I look at it and I'm like... We have a lot of people come in here and they say they spent $40,000 or $50,000 on it. $40,000 or $50,000? $1,000. They got fucked. Yeah. And then I see it, and I'm expecting it to be a fucking spectacle, and it's like two cameras. I'm like, well... Not that much. My special was under

$100,000, and that was with Louis directing it and his team on a location with cameras. You're getting your money's worth. It's special. It's special. These other guys, it's like two cameras. It's a set. That's a set. That's not a special.

He made a special. He put these guys in and they could have done it. God bless them I mean they kind you can't it is a cool time for comedy you can't

you can't say no to it yeah it's like somebody who becomes famous who isn't funny what are you supposed to say no I'm not ready yet

you gotta fucking give them a break fuck it you know and these comics it's easy to go and film yourself and put it online

TikTok I know comics that nobody knows have millions of views on TikTok And these comics, it's easy to go and film yourself and put it online. TikTok. I know comics that nobody knows have millions of views on TikTok and social media from their stand-up. Right. And it's all right. It's not the best. It's not like – They have a good account or whatever. They may as well play big rooms.

It's this in-between time because for the longest time it was like you heard a couple gatekeepers, like Comedy Central first, then HBO first, but then Netflix, Comedy Central, and then like... I think HBO was first. HBO was first, yeah. But then you're waiting for them to say yes

for so long, and now it's like, it's on you. Not waiting anymore, yeah. So we're still in this mindset of like, oh, I can do it. Let's just do it. It's like, no, no, no.

Relax. Just fucking wait until you're really, really ready. I was talking to Louis about naming my special. He's like, what do you want to name it? And I was thinking,

the first joke is, remember AIDS ready. I was talking to Louie about naming my special. He's like, what do you want to name it? And I was thinking, the first joke is Remember AIDS. And I was like, oh, we can't name it that. He goes, you can name it fucking Dead Baby Fuckers. It's on my website. You can name it Your Mother's Cunt. It's a fucking smelly hole. I was like, oh, yeah. That's true.

That's going to be my next special. Bobby's Mother's Cunt. If you don't do that, I to be my next special Bobby's mother's cunt if you don't do that I'll be disappointed I already got what Sherrod gave me a title already that's going to be next too many blacks

the cover is just me with like a bunch of black people behind me and me just going can that be at the cellar oh yeah it'll be at the cellar have you figured out

what is the number of what's too many blacks one at the cellar? Oh yeah, it'll be at the cellar. Have you figured out what is the number of, what's too many blacks? One. If you had went any higher, it wouldn't have been funny. If you had went any higher, it wouldn't have been funny. Fucking genius, Rachel.

We were loud about that so hard. Fuck the pause. One. Did you ever find that chick You were looking for What's that He never even tried Oh the chick from the East village

No we never really tried I try I say it on podcast If anyone tweets it at me I find it Are you blow drying your hair Of course I blow dry my hair Yeah you're

You're styling now Dude Yeah You think it's good Comb or brush Because we added A little debate here. Well, fuck.

I honestly don't really know the answer to that. It's a bigger thing. It's got a thing like that, but it's got the spikes on it. You got some conditioner? That's a brush. That's a brush? I think. Shampoo and conditioner.

No, he doesn't ever shampoo. He's disgusting. It's poofy. It is a little poofy today. Oh, well, let's show him the picture, though. Oh, yeah. You guys got to see what he did this weekend Whoa whoa

You told me that in a slow-mo That fucking That was good I This is where it gets even I straightened it over the weekend You think this is floofy and fluffy You straightened it?

Yeah I straightened it Just for shits and gigs dog Dang Wow Emo baby Wow Did a little ponytail Like the ponies flams

Whoa On top Dude You look like you sell candles Oh my god I love that ponytail Oh my god I like the ponies

Dude I thought I thought if you Straighten your hair It lasts like weeks And it's I took a shower An hour later It's gone

Oh yeah you can't Wait you had it Straightened at a salon No no no It's just out of the shower Dude you kicked it. Wait, you had it straightened at a salon? No, no, no. No, it was just my house. You look like you could dance with fires. My mother's a hairdresser for old ladies, and when you get stuff like that down to your hair,

it's called getting your hair done. Yeah, yeah. What? Did. No, did is the other way. Done. Your hair did? Get your hair done.

Done. Oh. No, it's like, it's a thing, and you're not supposed to fuck with it for weeks. Right. So. Except if you get in the shower. That's why shower caps.

That's why they're invented. Because you get your hair done. And that's back in the day. All those hot chicks, those movie, the actresses, their heads smelled like shit. Because they wouldn't wash their heads. The old ladies come in, they're like, she has to use a palm oil, like dishwashing detergent. To clean that shit. because it's so oily. Like the ducks?

Yeah. The ducks get covered in oil. Yeah. Exactly. It's like an oil spill. Exxon Valdez over here with your head. That's disgusting. Wow.

Yeah, it's gross. Smell your grandmother's head next to you. My grandmother's been dead for so long. They're both dead. It would stink, dude. Yeah, that's worse. Do you got grandparents? Do I have grandparents?

No, they're dead. How would stink, dude. Yeah, that's worse. You got grandparents? Do I have grandparents? No, they're dead. How long have they been dead? Grandmother died a few years ago. Grandfather died. I haven't had grandkids. But they were 101 and 96. Yeah, see, my grandparents, a couple of them died. One died before I was born.

And then anywhere between 65 and I think the oldest was early 80s. So I was cashed out of grandparents by the time I was 16. I was later. I had two. Two died early, grandfather and the grandmother, and the other side, the grandmother and the grandfather both died today. I'm so sorry. Did they get a chance to see your special?

They did. Oh, good. Is that what killed them? I got you such a good... Then they died because the Astros won. Dude, I got you such a... I got you a good present. Really? Wait till you see the present I got you. a good... Then they died because the Astros won. Dude, I got you such a... I got you a good present. Really?

Wait till you see the present I got you. I got you a good present. I can't wait. What? I can't wait to give it to you. He got me a Nazi skin lamp. Yeah. Yeah, but I'm going to suck him off and comb his hair while I give it to him.

So it's kind of... It's bad and good. Right? It's cool, right? I can't tell you high five, but five how long have you guys known each other long time now right yeah

I mean but well probably 10 years and then we've known sort of of each other longer I met him in LA when you were he was there briefly

yeah when you were really Jewish yeah saw the hair saw the curly hair were you ever doing comedy when you were a Jew I mean

you're still a Jew but he's still a Jew no he's not no he's not you're you were a Jew? I mean, you're still a Jew. He's still a Jew. No, he's not. No, he's not. You're no longer a Jew. Not really. Dude, we were up there fly fishing up in Catskills.

It was two, he called them yiddle diddles in the river doing a mikvah. And I was like, what the fuck is that? I go, what do they do? They were going bathing in the river. We were fly fishing. They were just going there bathing. What the fuck? Yiddle diddles.

It's a mikvah. Yeah, it cleanses you like spiritually. 40 something. 40 ammolts of water. Ammolts of water. He's like, I'm sorry. It's a human measurement.

You apologize for them. Yeah, they go out there. Yeah, you just need a natural body of water. You cleanse yourself. Yeah, ruining the trap in the river. Yeah, you just go in the ocean.

Yeah, that works. That works? You get a puddle. You just go by an ocean. Wait till it rains and just go out there and fucking stop around. Yeah,

and then they do their secret meetings where they sell their diamonds off, you know, without paying the taxes. It's all out there. Either the river, you know,

the sound of the river, like anybody filming you. We're also moving way too fast. What the fuck were you two doing fly fishing? Yeah, what is that? We were killing it Maybe you heard of killing it? Maybe fucking catching and eating our food

You guys were up there on that lake? Dude, we're bushcraft party boys We're bushcraft party boys We get out in nature, we fucking survive I guess that does make sense I forgot you do You do all that shit I'm a little surprised you're there

I'm the motherfucker I'm the motherfucker. Yeah. I'm the guy. He does the research. He doesn't know. But I'm just saying, I know the stories of him just being like, I packed a backpack and traveled the world naked.

I'm like, all right, whatever. Yeah. Not in the woods. Every gay kid in fucking Europe does that. Yeah. Right, right, right. I went there. If I didn't know, I would have thought you would have been a guy like me.

Like, yo, let's fucking put on a fucking movie on the couch and eat some snacks and chill out. No, dude. You're out there, huh? Me, Joe List, and Ari, we love hiking. But then we just took it. That is gay. We like going to the woods. Oh, yeah.

Oh, it's gay. That's gay. Yeah, we're leaving out the story. Guys, go hiking. You don't even understand. You don't even know. No, no, no. Going up in the woods, we went to the next level.

We went primitive camping. Hike for like two hours? Hike for two hours. You find these spots up there. They're not KOA things. They're just little areas. And you can, other campers have made

little pits and stuff, but you go up there. There's nobody. And you go up there and you camp for the night or two. And they're, you know, sometimes near water, rivers and stuff like that. And you go up there and you camp for the night or two. And they're, you know, sometimes near water, rivers and stuff like that. And you just hang out.

Oh, that's great. You got to get wood. You got to go get wood. You got to hang a bear bag. See, I didn't know any of the bear bag stuff. Yeah. I would just like, I would just have it. What's in the bear bag?

You got to put all your food in the bear bag. So we eat dinner. But you just keep it. You got to get a tree that goes up. It's got to be up at least, you know least a good ways up with the branches going up. Yeah, because I don't think you can climb all that shit. Yeah, but you've got to have a branch that goes out, and you tie your rope, cordage to a rock or a carabiner,

throw it up over, and then you hook the bag up, and then you pull that up. You've always been this way? Like growing up, or did you? No. The last probably maybe 15 years I got into the woods. I've been going up to New Hampshire for a long time. But then they got into it.

Joe List. Yeah, we love it. It's so fun. Yeah, we love it. It's the best. I've only done it like once or twice. He does. Comes out naked.

It's terrible. I've done camping. I did it when I was younger. I forget the name of the mountain. I'm going to say Mount Katahdin, but there's one that's... No, yeah, because Kilimanjaro is much bigger. Kilimanjaro is the big one. So Mount Katahdin is the smaller one that I did with Kilimanjaro is much bigger. Kilimanjaro is the big one. Mount Katahdin is the smaller one

that I did with my uncle and his friend. It was the fucking coolest thing ever. We had a lean-to. I was probably 15 or maybe a little younger. They handed me my first beer. We were cooking a can of beans over a fire. I was like, this is fucking sick. It is cool.

I cooked fillets. We caught that fish,ashed it Filleted it And cooked it right there Freshwater fish And it was so good Apples Salt and pepper And oil

It was one of the One of the best things I've ever eaten It was so fucking good Yeah It was great That's fucking So you're good

You can catch fish I've been fly fishing once In like West Virginia And it was the worst I've been fly fishing For like 10 years I was so bad Was that the same weekend

As the clay shooting too or is that different? No, different weekend. I was young for this too when I did flat. He was great. He picked it up in two seconds. It's fun just to do it. Just to catch the thing. Don't do it. That's the silliest thing.

Never do that again. You're embarrassing me as your sensei. It's this. It's this. It's this. Yeah. It's that. Why do you constantly, why is it, yeah, why do you like boom, boom, boom? You don't weave it in?

Well, I do too. I do. Well, he was regular fly fishing. I was Japanese fly fishing. Japanese fly fishing, there's no reel. So you're just kind of roll casting and letting it come down. He was that, you're using the line as your weight, you understand, to get, because the tip it is real light.

It's 5X. It's real light stuff. So the line is actually how you're going to get it out there to where the fish are. Yeah. So you have to use that momentum. Sure. You're making it go, and you're releasing line every time, pulling it,

and then right when you've got it, you throw it, and take that line is what weights the thinner line with the fly which weighs nothing because when you worm fish there's a barber there's a weight

there's a worm it's heavy to get it out there you needed that weight to get out so you have to use that momentum to get it out there what the fuck comes up with this

it's cool though the French when it's right near you and you see like okay the fly's just whatever right on top of the water And you see from nowhere

From these rocks A fucking thing comes out And it just goes for it Like you lured it out I did I very rarely do that stuff But then this week This past summer

I was in it Or two summers ago actually now I was on a bachelor party And we went fishing for fluke Which is like a bottom feeding fish Yep And it's the most boring Fishing in the world

So you put a weight on it And you just drop it And you just let it sit there anyway like once you're real like starts moves you just sit there just crush beers which well that is active fishing and then there's I want to get away from my wife and kids yeah and I like to be a simple as hey you know what's the best for that if you don't fish I just did it tubing if it go tubing you just sit on the rate drink yeah Montana oh Montana I did something like way back tubing you just sit on the right sit drink yeah have some fruit hold on montana oh montana yeah

i did soco goes right into me like way back in the day oh it's fun way yeah it's the best do fuck all and you gotta piss just jump in come right back it's not even that deep so you just walk along with it you're not supposed to pit i mean you're a savage you're not supposed to do that but yeah what are you supposed to do i don't know it's a river i guess wait are you telling me you don't piss in water? In like a real river. We're not talking about like a pool. I'll piss in the water. But he pisses everywhere and it bothers me.

He pissed in... I saw your video last Halloween. He pissed in a cup under his Batman. That was disgusting. That was gross. Because you know that piss got everywhere, right? No, I dropped it into a kid's like... What?

You're raping kids? Dude, you know what's a fun thing? You know how you piss when you're at the ocean? You're raping kids? Dude you know It's a fun thing You know how you piss When you're at the ocean You piss in the water Yeah Piss by the water

Yeah like toes in it Yeah just get the toes out Just as soon as your ankles get Just let it go Oh I've done this I do that all the time And then you keep walking in You keep walking

You wash it off I do that all the time It's so fun Because no one's behind You can see you Yeah Anyone who's next to you Like check this out

They'll be like Oh dude But it's no difference I'm so glad You're not having kids No one's behind you can see you. Anyone who's next to you, check this out. They'll be like, oh, dude! But it's no difference. I'm so glad you're not having kids. Respect to me. What's dad doing? He's pissing and walking in the water again. You're just a savage.

You're a savage. You know how my friends' kids, or one of them, I just do regular adult comic shit around them, and they're just like, what the fuck? My kid loves Ari. I fart their faces all the time. My kid, his favorite, one of my friends is Colin and Ari. Oh my God.

We're walking down the street one day. He rips his shirt off. I go, what are you doing? He goes, sun's out, guns out, Dad. This asshole. It's the law of the land. Sun's out, guns out. This asshole. Get the law of the land. Any time his son's out, he takes his shirt off. Sun's out, guns out, dad. This asshole. It's the law of the land. Sons out, guns out. This asshole.

Get the law of the land. Any time his son's out, he takes his shirt off. Sons out, guns out. And he tucks his shirt in his back pocket. Wow. Dude, walking through the East Village or something like that, jeans, shirt in your back pocket, shirt off. I remember passing these two probably chicks your age, 26-year-old, well-to-do, and they're

just talking, and they turn and look at me. And I got about as far away as Fidel Briggs and they just go like, are you serious? So mad. Fair, but Suns Out Guns Out. Suns Out Guns Out. He's doing Suns Out Guns Out today, I bet.

Yeah, he does it at 80 degrees. What the fuck is going on? The world's ending, dude. Have you listened to anything? What else do you guys need to understand? Look at the fuck, it's November and it's 85 degrees. It was crazy. Walking out of my apartment today, I was walking out.

An old Russian dude lives above me. And we were walking out together. And he goes, hey, enjoy summer. And I was like, that's kind of what you're right. It does bring people together. I'm going to be sweating today. I don't know, man. November is usually my time.

It's not like 2 degrees yet and it's not 90 degrees. I fucking hate the heat. No, it's great. This is not the heat. This is 75. Yeah, but when it should be like 50, 75 is like 100. Do you like sweaters and stuff? Yeah, I want to be able to put on a hoodie.

Do you like an afghan on the couch? Yeah. A cup of tea, graham crackers. Maybe a little cocoa. Yeah, a little biscuit. Mold wine. I'm excited for mold wine season. Yeah.

What's mold wine? Drinking out of a bowl. Like hot wine that they have at places. Ugh. Mold wine. Mold wine? M-U-L-L-E-D. Oh, okay.

You've had it. They should rebrand that because it doesn't sound good. Yeah, it sounds like shit. Mold wine. What's that? It sounds like my toenail. Hot toddies. That's another one.

Oh, I fucking. What's a hot toddy? I like whiskey and hot chocolate, basically. I like, no, it What's a hot toddy? I like. I like. It's adult cocoa. It's just like. Yeah, whiskey and hot chocolate basically. I like. No, it's whiskey, honey, and a little lemon. That's good tea. Yeah. But it's like our version of like.

But you can also do the hot chocolate one. There's a hot chocolate. It's a white hot chocolate. It is the like. I like enjoy getting sick in the winter. Like the moment I get like a little tickle in my throat, I'm like, oh, gotta go crush about six hot toddies. Yeah.

So I never got to. Because I got sober so young, I never got to enjoy like got sober so young I never got to enjoy like those type of drinks because I was just taking this and one sipping it and then robbing a deli you know what I mean and then shit in my pants

so I never got the chance to enjoy a hot toddy or like have you guys seen this video that went viral of the guys chugging the five pints

no oh it's so good five pints in a row? It's just the guys being dudes, man. So somebody is doing Movember, which is like men's mental health awareness. What is that? Don't commit suicide all November? Yeah, basically.

God, I hate that people have that. I'm not going to commit. I'm not going to join in. Not for a month. A whole month? Come on now. I don't know. I might have a bad day.

Yeah, exactly. You've got to have the option on the table. So this guy said... Movember. Take the option off for 30 days. Nah, never. So I keep my gun box by my bed. Makes I have a nightmare.

Put the safety on. That's it. Have you ever thought about killing yourself? Oh, yeah. No way. For a long time. Oh, for like a five-year period. When?

I had plans. You had plans? You just learn not tying. When you were... Every building you look at, you're like, damn, that'd be nice. Oh, dude,

I checked the weight bearing of pipes. Like, that one's not so bad. Yeah, right. The last thing you want to do is try it and fucking fall. My daughter had that. Why are you guys

hacks with suicide? Why don't you come up with a new way? I expect more out of you. Oh yeah, like cut a little piece of your, like a hangnail,

tie it to a fan, turn it on. The whole thing would fall. Oh my God. Oh my God. I'm not suicidal anymore. That just ruined it for me. It'd take four days

to get your nose. Yeah. So anyway, You ruined it for me. It'd take four days to get your nose. So anyway, these are the guys. The original dude said, anybody who sends me a video of you chugging five pints or ripping ten shots in a row, I'll donate whatever. So this amount of money. That's a bad way to encourage not suicide. I was thinking

I get 10 shots in a row. I'll do anything. That's what I'm like. Yeah, that's when I start having those thoughts. So a lot of people are sending in all these videos

like look how fast I can chug. Look me one sip this bottle and then they all get blown out of the water by this crew of guys. These lads

who are all British? Scottish? They're one of those. They're from the UK, we'll give it. The 4th of November. The 4th of November. The 4th of PM.

Not Leeds. Where are the Beatles from? And they all just start to... They just start chugging and then they all just start puking. No. And they just keep powering through. Oh! Bro, they puke so much.

They all puke so many times and they're like, In the name of charity! The sound! It sounds like a bunch of toilets flushing. And they went mega viral. This has like 10 million views on Twitter. And it's just kind of like, you know, they said eight cricket boys. I like sinking, by the way.

Sinking pints instead of chugging pints. Eight cricket boys all sinking pints in the name of the Movember campaign. And, I mean, they just go, oh, that got deleted. That sucks. It got deleted? For safety or something? I'm going to leave that open or something. There's a million people who have stolen a copy of that.

Damn. I thought they weren't doing that shit anymore. What? Deleting shit. Oh. No. It's good for YouTube. Shut up.

Dude, it's the worst. It's the worst app ever now. The talk of just Elon and what's he going to do and is he good, is he bad, is he right, is he wrong? It's just all anyone's talk. What about the checks and what about who has the blue check and who doesn't have the blue check? It's a goddamn fucking – it's always been a nightmare on that app. Now it's just a nightmare, but every tweet is about Elon Musk. Oh, yeah. I think it was a done website.

Yeah. It was already kind of done. I also thought, like, if you're going to buy it for $44 billion, and it's notoriously an underperforming app, right? It had its... So he's, like, going to clear house and change the rules. What, do you think he was going to buy it and just keep it normal, like, keep going? So, of course, he's firing people and changing the rules. The app fucking sucked.

It never made a dollar. Yeah. So I got to do things radically different. I'm with him on that one. It's like, yeah, we're going to change all the fucking rules, you pussies. It never made a dollar. Yeah. So I got to do things radically different. I'm with them on that one. It's like, yeah, we're going to change all the fucking rules, you pussies. I would have done it in person. Fire all of them in person? They're like, can you believe what we're emailing?

It's the right way to do it, especially if you're remote right now, we're going to call you in. But I would have done it on purpose for the extra pain. Be like, I want you to, and then have an audience. He fired 3,700 people. Yeah, how about that? Would you bring them in with a periscope live? Yeah, I'm launching Twitter live.

Watch these firings. Hey, so here it says you shadow banned just a comic because he made a joke about the vaccine. Anyway, so you're gone. And then everyone across America, boo! Boo! You got a bunch of hearts coming in. Imagine getting fired while a bunch of hearts roll up.

Oh, my God. That'd be fun. I thought you were going to say he made a joke about Kobe. That's what I thought he was going to say that too. Yeah, what a dick you are. I try.

Try to stir the pot. Did you, what's the date now? Did you like go bananas a week ago after? What do you mean? After October? Yeah.

Yeah, I didn't go crazy hard. I was just like... I love the other guys. I'm going to have a cigar and a whiskey. He's immediately like, I need Molly. I need my fucking NDMA. The last time, I think I broke it on a hit of acid, an edible shot, and a joint.

This time, it was just nitrous. What's nitrous? like a fucking whip cream? like a whippet? yeah whippets you broke sober November or October

for a fucking whippet? yeah dude it was so fun go the opposite way include West Virginia Alabama all these fucking derided states including you guys

dude I left I left Flaming Lips with Sal Vulcano and a few other people and I just heard I just heard, 10 each, three for 20? And I was like, oh, hell yes.

And I just went over there, outside of Brooklyn Steel, always there, and I bought three balloons. And they're like, what is this? I'm like, it's fucking, I don't know, Whippets. And he's like, what are you doing? I'm like, you just inhale it. Don't you get high for like a second? 30 seconds, 40 seconds, yeah, sure. And so I'm doing it.

I'm laughing on the ground with this other guy and we're having such a fucking blast and then Sal idiot dumb fuck Sal is like it's not working like what do you mean

he's still got three quarters of a left he goes hi my name is Sal hi my name is Sal it's not changing my voice at all no way he goes helium

it's not a barbed wire you fucking dork suck it all in he goes it doesn't work I'm like suck it in it works and then he was like

bro i'll pick on the ground the the like it all like a fucked up childhood type deal i remember the first time i did whippets i was watching like mike starring lil bow wow we went upstairs and we like got like the kid whippets and we were downstairs in my basement just like wow i'm sure we did it wrong. It wasn't even work. That was the last drug I did. Whippets?

Yeah. When I was 15, I did a half a bottle of white label scotch, some beers, and then we went and we did Whippets. I remember this. We went up in Spencerport, New York, up near Rochester. We went and did Whippets right in. We should just go in and just do them

and put the thing back. For the whipped cream? In the store that way. The whipped cream. We should go in the store, whipped cream it, get fucked up. And then we went outside

and we stole the gumball machines. And I remember we were running down the tracks. I jumped a fence and there was a shotgun. No, I had the gum and the quarters and nickels in my pocket. And I remember there was a shotgun. No, I had the gum and the quarters and nickels in my pocket.

And I remember there was a shotgun in my face. What? And the cop goes, get on your knees. What? And then he goes, suck my dick.

No, no. He goes, get on his knees. He goes, if he moves, shoot him. Wow. And I went, it was gum. Yeah. I'm like, what are you talking about?

I went away. That was the last time I went to jail. I went to jail that night. Jesus. And yeah, the last one was whippets. Dude, I was so nervous. Remember that? It was fucked up.

I'm sure neither of you know this, but there's been quite a hubbub over it. No, you guys know that. We knew that. Everybody knows that. I knew it before you told us. That's why you blow dry on your hair, you boyfriend lover. He's the one who straightened it. Yeah, he put the ponytail on the brain yesterday.

He looks like a pretty princess. But there was a lot of hubbub over the weekend. The Bruins signed a player who didn't have a great past when he was in middle school. Have you heard of this? No, what? A great past when he was in middle school? It was like, it was, it is. It's pretty bad.

He was like, from starting in first grade through age 14, he did a lot of racial stuff with a mentally challenged kid and was beating him every single day. That's too many days. The school was trying to get him to stop, and he's like, I'm not stopping. Who said he's not? It was like he had a few meetings with the principal. Can't stop, won't stop?

Yeah, he's a good hockey player, so he just gets excused. And then the breaking point was they took a push pop and he rubbed it all through a urinal and made the kid eat it. Jesus. Yeah, that's like – High school kids are just awful. Middle school. He was in eighth grade.

He's 14. He's 20 now. So he hasn't – it's not that long ago. Well, you got to get – that was a piece of shit too in middle school. Well, but that's what I was going to ask is that – NHL teams are bailing on him. Oh, really? So the Coyotes drafted him and pretty much right away heard the story.

They're like, never mind. And then the Bruins just signed him last week, and it all kind of resurfaced. The mom of the original boy is saying, like, you know, he never apologized. He's like, yes, I did. I sent you guys a letter. She was like, I never saw it. You never tried to make amends and and then but then on the other side he has some classmates at least that they said so on Twitter who fucking knows they're all posting their own take being like

we knew both of these guys and like they were both like dumb fucking a high school bully yeah no one was like he was like this went too far what the fuck well no I mean this guy it was like hard and bombs and it was this no this at the time with time no one was going what the fuck they were all going I mean this guy it was like hard and bombs and it was this at the time with this one

people were going what the fuck multiple people went to the principal who like weren't involved and they're like this happens every day you gotta do something

to stop it where's he from he was a bull Toledo he's a piece of shit bully but it's like and so he pled guilty

in like juvenile court or whatever he did his like community service the, all that shit. And then it's like, so what? He never gets to do anything again? I know. That's what my friend said.

I was a terrible kid, dude. I did a lot of hard shit. That's the thing. He should feel bad about it. We all feel bad about it. I still feel bad about it. So I can't get a job as a hockey player? Well, so he is saying, I realize how far I took it.

Of course. And I was wrong. I did write this letter. I've done counseling. I've done, he actually works with underprivileged kids now. And a lot of people are like, you're only doing that to get back to hockey. And that's probably true. Okay, either way.

Either way, he's still doing it. He's helping kids. Who knows? You don't know that, dude. I only work with underprivileged people so I can post about it, like, every fucking time. I'm not doing this for them. The other thing too is every article

just kept saying developmentally disabled kid and then again on Twitter somebody posted a video of the kid. The Stavros Hattas. Maybe the kid. Maybe the kid.

We don't know. Wasn't that bad? Yeah. Slightly disabled. No, no. If you watch this video you wouldn't be able to tell anything.

He's just smoking a blunt Like what's up boys Like it is Smoking a blunt How'd they get him To eat a fucking urinal pop I guess maybe you can I'm sure he's getting bullied

Like a bunch of guys Hold you down And fucking stick it In your mouth Dude I got bullied That's what I'm saying The fucking 80s 70s 80s

We did that And 90s You got bullied And you bullied kids It's just the way it was We didn't know any better We found my friend's toothbrush He was left for the weekend

Somewhere And we all put it in our butts And put it back Dis. We had my friend's toothbrush. He was left for the weekend somewhere and we all put it in our butts and then put it back. Disgusting. You're animals. He gets a job? At what age was that? Like 35?

Yeah, it was 35, 36. It was the Marshall Comedy Festival. I used to make darts with needles and Q-tips. What? And I would go at recess and I'd throw them at kids and we'd all laugh. There was one kid going up.

He had just all little red dots on his pants because he had all these little darts. Because we would just go, we'd put straws in them, we'd throw them. We'd blow darts. We were fucking lunatics. Well, that's what I was trying to get to. A lot of people on social media are like, if I got in trouble for what I did in middle school, no one would have a job. And I'm like, well, most of us were just fucking losers who did our homework and went to bed when our parents told us but you seem to be

a different person no everyone had a thing you just forgot about it because it wasn't crazy back then it was just like bad but like right when you couch it

as like development challenge and it's like can you take that hat off please why it's bothering me it's just first of all what does it say

bad boy bad boy that makes me sad I'll allow it my friend said he had this this is an example of not going to

the public for it he said he likes some chicken in college and it was one of those ones where you're like we both know we're going to hook up

just got to be the right time and then she showed up to a frat party which was the best by the way what this is the best by the way when it's a green last the way when you like when it's agreed like when it last year you haven't

said it but it's like you both know yeah yeah the friends know and they're trying to set it up yeah so you're gonna see stacy tonight yes well you know like the spontaneous assault on the back of a car that doesn't get you off and uh and she showed up to this oh alright well guess I'm alone in Arizona random finger bang Honda Civic she's awake

kinda and he showed up to a frat party with her sorority sister and it was like a fat sorority sister and he goes who brought the cow

and then the curly she was he was gonna hook up with he goes hey that's my fucking friend and he goes oh that's fucking bullshit and he was like sister and he goes who brought the cow and then the curly he was gonna hook up with goes hey that's my fucking friend and he goes

oh that's fucking bullshit and he was like oh sorry he goes no fuck you man and they never ended up hooking up

and that was enough punishment for him where he just won't act like that but if that gets found out now he'd lose a job

over it but it would be like it's already been corrected you're right well that is the thing too if this was

under wraps and then came out I I'd be like, well, we've never... Is he still doing it? And he went to court and they said, here's what you've got to do, and did it. What he should do is... I apologize. I made amends.

I was actually in college in Boston in an English class, and the first day, we had to go around the room, and you know that horse shit they make you do? Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I got to me, and I'm like, you have to turn to the person next to you.

You're like, hey, I'm Robert. How you doing? And the kid goes, I know who you are. Whoa. And I was like, oh, shit. And then it all tumbled back. I took this kid's moped and his CD player. When CD players first came out, the portable ones,

and when mopeds were cool, it wasn't like banging a chubby chick. It was like cool to have one. And he was, me and my friend. You just stole all his electronics? Me and my friend Frankie saw him because he had everything, this kid. And I grew up in Boston in like the white slums. You know what I mean? And this kid's got headphones on. He's got a CD player. He's got a moped. We just stopped him and we i grew up in boston in like the white slums you know what i mean and his kids got headphones on he's got a cd player he's got a moped we just stopped him and took it like shoved

him over no we just stopped doing a light and we took it we took him off the thing and took everything remember too he's like hi i'm bobby like what i didn't remember i felt this wasn't even like a note in your mind you just like zip away like listening like see you later loser yeah i jumped on the back. I grabbed Frankie's belly. We took off. I had the headphones. Later loser.

The best is victimizing somebody with their getaway. Anyways, this is into Pat Benatar. Hit me with your bad shot. And you're like, good note, Pat. Pass me that remote.

Or pass him that remote, actually. Yeah, dude. It was, but I felt, I did, I felt terrible about it. You got footage of Bobby actually Yeah dude It was But I felt I did I felt terrible You got footage of Bobby

Stealing this guy's shit I felt terrible I said sorry You know what I mean I was so far along Yeah he was cool after that But it was Look I had to make

That's why We brought it back We left it in front of us I was a little fucked up Oh come on You gave it back We gave it back The wheel was a little fucked up The display is not going back You gave it back. We gave it back. The wheel was a little fucked up.

No, this plane is not going back. You can get one of those. I'm going to throw one of those. I did a lot of that stupid shit. We used to, I mean, we used to, when, you know, lunch, remember lunch tickets? No. Okay. When you, back in sixth grade, seventh grade, eighth grade, you get lunch tickets.

Certain people got them. People like me, my mother was too proud To go on welfare So she'd make me a lunch The same fucking lunch Every day An apple A peanut butter and jelly On white bread

With too much jelly Which was all smashed up By the apple By the time you got to it Flat And seeping through With the jelly With a note on the napkin

About how much she loves me But not because she loved me. It was passive aggressive to fuck with me with my friends. It was not out of love. She knew you got shit. Did you get your note? Yeah, I did, you twat. I got it.

So they had lunch tickets. So me and my friend, Bobby Cicchetti, they would announce it. They'd be like, lunch tickets. If you have lunch tickets, please go down to the office. You have to go down. We'd stand out front and we'd take one lunch ticket off every kid or we'd kill you.

And we'd take the lunch tickets and then we'd go to lunch and there was the kids with the dollars and we'd give them, give me the dollar, you take this, you just lend me 15 cents because lunch was 85 cents.

So they're like, all right alright fuck it so we made we made we turned it in we turned into dollars and then we take that money

buy our lunch of course a couple of them and then we go drink and use drugs with the money wow that's how I got my drug money that and I'd rip people's I'd rip

I'd go in your backyard and just steal shit like you remember those like ceramic mother marys yeah we had an Italian neighborhood so you know everybody wanted one of those so I'd just steal shit like you remember those like uh ceramic mother mary's and we had an italian neighborhood so you know i really wanted one of those so i just steal shit like that like owls sell them yeah i don't black market mother mary i had a whole i had a

whole strip of stores that would buy my big boy move did they not know they were like here comes oh they knew it was 100 they knew it came in with a power tool and a mother uh mother mary yeah they knew i stole it yeah i sold. If you had a bike, it was gone. The thing is, kids that age don't know any right or wrong, so it's like, don't mess with them.

He'll come back harder at us. Well, I feel bad about that, but you know, look, it happened to me too. I got bullied a lot. How old? 15? That was 13, 14.

So where do you think this kid was 14 when he did it? He's 20 now. You can't. Where do you think the line is where you're like, you were a fucking asshole? I think it's nothing to do with hockey at all. He could have fucking beat the shit out of people last week off work. It's got nothing to do with your job.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, I hear you. It also depends. If this guy wanted to go work in a factory, his family is not going to step up and stop him. The family keeps everywhere this guy goes. It's a cool job. The family gets up and says, this is a privilege that you get to play for. You need to make amends, though.

He needs to make amends. He hasn't done that. You need to go. Fucking Marky Mark blinded a guy. He gets to work all the time. He goes, I don't know. I feel bad. People bring it up like Vic, and they're bringing up fucking Tyson and all these people.

Tyson was so long ago. That doesn't count anymore. But it's also like Tyson went to jail. So relax. It's not like Once you But in that era People didn't give a fuck

Bro you know what Fucking we So we were looking up Just like other Boston athletes Who did some fucked up stuff Corey Stremski Dude before Corey Dillon Got signed

By the Pats He was going to Going to court For a domestic violence dispute Yeah Standard for the NFL Instead of Instead of going to

To jail He opted for community service and made a donation to a woman's shelter. What do you think? How much money do you think he gave to a woman's shelter? $150. $1 million. No, it's probably like a grand. $750. Oh my.

Yeah, $750. A lot of money. A lot of band-aids. That's a lot of band-aids. This was 2001, dude. Imagine getting off and being like, hey, you just got to make a donation. It goes, what? Not like, okay, good, but what's the cheapest I can get away with now?

You think you should go four digits. Right now? I mean, if you're going to go that much, go up it a little. Go to the thousand. Yeah, let's get a comma. Can we get a comma in there? Bro, Kyrie's was just $500. $500,000.

$500,000. And they denied it. Who would he try to give it to? Oh, they a comma in there? Bro, Kyrie's was just 500. 500 grand. 500 grand. And they denied it. Who would he try to give it to? Oh, they denied it? Who was this? Kyrie. Oh, right, right, right. In his list of things to come back to the Nets, one of them is donate $500,000.

And they said no. They said no. They said they didn't want to donate money. By the way, listen, I paid for Jew myself, my special Irish for Jew. Kyrie, I will take that money. I'm taking donations. I've got 20% of it back. I'm still deeply in the hole.

Kyrie Irving, if you want to make up for anti-Semitism, I will forgive you. Give me that money. You get the blessing from Ari. It's like you're accepted by people. You get a bracha. By some people. I mean, he's been fucked up. I was banned from the NBA for two years.

I don't know if you want to do NBA. I think Ari should be the Jewish Pope. I should be the Jewish Pope. That's a good idea. The problem with the Jews Damn Kevin that's a fucking good idea.

The problem with the Jews is they don't have like a guy. They don't have a Pope you know. And I've always said it should be like Larry David but like you would be like

you know he could be the Pope and you're the guy who like actually does the shit. I'll be the Wormwood telling him like Exactly. I'll be the Bishop. Yeah yeah yeah. You're the guy who's like you know you're the guy who actually does the shit. I'll be the Wormwood telling him, like, hey, there. Exactly. He'll be the bishop.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. You're the guy who's like, you know, you're the real King Jew. They don't have, like, a main guy. No, that's the problem. That's why, you know.

Lubavitcher Rebbe, he's dead. They don't have any faces. They don't have any face of Judaism. And if there would be a face of the Jews, it would be 100%. From the side,

from the front. He came out and they were like, Lehi. From the back. You can tell Ari's Jew is from the fucking back. Oh, for sure of the Jews. It would be. I mean, look at me. It's the most. From the side, from the front. He came out and they were like. From the back. You can tell Ari's Jewish from the fucking back. Oh, for sure from the back. Yeah. That fucking. He's got that little.

Yeah, you can. When you can tell someone Jewish from the back. He's got that little fin neck. That's. That's. Oh, you're so Jewish, man. Oh, my God. That's the right way to do the yarmulke.

Yeah, it just covers it perfectly. Yeah. It's amazing. It's exactly the right amount. That's the right way to do the yarmulke. Yeah, it just covers it perfectly. It's amazing. It's exactly the right amount. That's so funny. Exactly what you don't want to see in front of you on the plane. You know there's going to be no room for your luggage because his hat's up there. Can I have another cookie?

Do you have a yarmulke? Yeah, when they come around with this, I had it for my special. It said the Jew thing at the end, and then on the front side it said I was at Ari's bar mitzvah. My actual picture. Is that you? Let me see. I know exactly what you're going to do. What am I going to do?

You're going to throw it away. Let me see. You would have. Wow, you look terrible, man. I actually think you look quite handsome. Thank you. I think you look like a handsome little boy, Ari. Whoa, whoa.

In that crazy Jewish way. Good hands. Hands like a Jew. There you go. Koufax was not a great fielder. Never won a Golden Glove, but did have a golden ring. Could you imagine now? I'm getting all your jokes like a second too late

by the way. He was saying great ones and I'm just like, how's it going? He had a golden glove but he had a golden ring. Imagine a guy today doesn't pitch in the World Series. Doesn't pitch in the World Series because of fucking Amadou.

Game one too, that means you had a chance to pitch three games and you're like. Nah. Oh, it was Yom Kippur? I thought it was just a Sabbath. You're shunning Yom Kippur. No. And it was like, no, I can't. And it was like.

That means if you pitch game two, that's it. That's it. Two games tops. Yeah. Yeah. Game one, you got a chance to pitch three games. That would be. Dude, they stopped getting mad about athletes for taking paternity leave.

But if you took paternity. Actually. They still got mad. They still got mad. They still got mad. They got mad at fucking. But then, again, we're talking about the awful website Twitter. Everyone will scream at you. If you're like, I don't know, like, kind of got a game.

But someone did it in the playoffs. I don't think anyone missed the fucking World Series for paternity leave. That'd be great. I think it was Derek White just did with the Celtics. No, no. Get a babysitter. We're not. Are you talking about the birth of? I think it was. He took like three days. And I think it was Derek White Just did with the Celtics Get a babysitter The birth of? I think it was he took like three days

First of all, I had a baby It's like, hey guys, basketball is not as big as this One night, and then you're done And they don't need you Wherever she has the baby That one day And then you fly right to the away game And then you go to the home game to go right home

Or bring the baby to the fucking place. I can't. Paternity leave is a whole. Paternity is not a playoff. Like the World Series? If you want to be there for the birth of your kid, fine. If you're there, the baby's a week old, and we came home, and it's just my time to help, we can do that tomorrow.

Tonight is game one. Get a turtle tub, put it in the locker room, have her stand up and shoot that sucker out of her vag. Give it a fucking jersey, bring it out to the field. Everybody will love it forever.

Win the fucking game! A little lucky charm, you know? We popped out this Jewish baby. Here you go. Little kid's going to be there forever because they won. She's like 60, just sitting there.

Get in the locker room. She doesn't even like the team anymore.'s how sister gene got mixed up with loyal chicago you know that old bag wow this old bitch uh oh yeah sister yeah she's like a hundred thousand years old she blew somebody to get on that court no she was born as the baby and they're like they never leave her out man she's still alive, I think she's still alive. They made the play. They'll mention what she does. They made the tournament. You'll know.

Yeah, you'll know for sure. I think there was a couple years between them making the tournament, maybe, right? It was like Sister Jean was old, and then the second time I saw her, I was like, oh, Sister Jean doesn't have much time left. Yeah, Sister Jean was like the cute old lady. It's like, Sister Jean is a dead person. This is Weekend at Bernie's. She's Mother Jean now.

That's crazy that nuns don't fuck dude what's crazy is just nuns period I bet when they do fuck though they fuck hard that was my genre for a month and a half just these smoking Italian women in nun outfits that's different than a girl dressing up as a nun not a real nun

I don't want to fuck a nun you ever see a nun they're a real nun. No, I don't want to fuck a nun. You ever see a nun? They're fat. No, I never... Dude, I remember when I was a kid, I was talking about this the other day. When I was a kid, I saw nuns all over the fucking place.

There's none left. No nuns anymore. But I went to Latin America. See? I can do your guy's job. I went to Colombia for a weekend, and it was nuns all over the place. Colombia's religious.

But America, we're done with nuns. We don't have any more. You think so? You can't beat your kids anymore. That's all they do is beat kids. If you are like a 17-year-old girl and you're like, I'm going to go into the clergy or whatever, like I'm going to study to become a nun, you're a fucking loser. You're a loser.

A nun was a teacher, right? You're a fucking loser. What did nuns, what did they do? They sucked off the priest. Sucked off the priest. That was all the boys. That's right. That's right. They got the booze and they hid the priest. That was all the boys. They got the booze and they hid the gambling.

They would get the right kids. You know how at concerts the rock star has the person who's coming to the room and there's like 12 of them? That's what nuns would think of the boys. Nuns get after it. Nuns are a key part of the priesthood.

Go see Father Burns. Why, go see Father Burns. Why? Go see Father Burns. You're ready. Remember the Lord wants you quiet. Remember when you drink their wine. I've been watching this show called fucking Friend of the Family. And it's about, I don't know if you guys have seen the Netflix documentary,

but it's called like Vanish in Plain Sight or something like that. It's about this Mormon family in Idaho. Dude, it's the best. It's great. That was like a pandemic one, right? Yeah. I didn't see the documentary, so I've been watching. They have a real show about it now.

Oh, really? Yeah, it's on Peacock. It was called Vanished in Plain Sight. It was because they had the baby in the parking lot, and then it was just gone. No, no, no, no, no. No, no, no. It was like, hey, I'm going to take your daughter on a trip this weekend.

No, it's called Abducted in Plain Sight. Abducted in Plain Sight. Who is it no no no it was like hey i'm gonna take your daughter on a trip no it's called it's called abducted in plain sight abducted like hey i'm coming over imagine an abductor coming i was like hey can i grab your daughter yeah like okay yeah tomorrow and then tomorrow never came what it is it's crazy so they're they're first they're mormons which i think it could happen in any religion where everyone's devout it's more fun that it's mormon it is it's more fun it seems like they deserve it a little more mormonism but like dude it's it's crazy it's this this guy's like such a manipulator the guy who stole the daughter uh three times he kidnapped this girl and she's hot you know that's a blow job you can't get away from you know when you break up with a girl and you go back and i said i gotta keep kidnapping this bitch. I gotta go steal

this kid again. My wife stinks at this. Dude, in the fucking show, he's such a cocksucker that he tells

his wife, he's like, you are not attracted to me. It's like, yeah, well, she's not 12.

What are you gonna do with it? She's got a thumb on the top of your helmet. You ever try to get your wife to do stuff you saw in porn and she just doesn't get it.

You're like, forget it. I'm out. Never mind. Yeah. That's not how she was doing it. No, no. Not your pinky. Your thumb.

Stop looking at me. Spit, spit. Not like you disgusted at me. I would drool. You're about to puke. You're going to throw up. I'm not throwing up. Shut up.

Leave. Goodbye. I don't want to. Shut up. Leave. Goodbye. I'm going to jerk off in the shower. But the guy is such a fucking manipulator that not only – Sorry. No, no, no. So he's – that was worth it. Just for that image.

But he fucking – so he steals the girl, but then so he wants to marry her. And so he can marry her He decides to manipulate the parents And get blackmail on them So he fucks the parents? So he starts fucking the wife Nice And then gets a handjob from the husband

Fuck you Yes dude It's so crazy I remember when This is not porn His account The husband Which like you don't know

What's gonna happen It's a documentary So you're like He's talking to me, and I was like, hey, you've got to leave my wife alone. He goes, I'm sorry, whatever. And then he was saying how cool I am.

And you're like, okay. And then he goes, I don't know. I feel so terrible. I don't know what happened. And I'm jerking him off. And you're like, what? It was such a mind-blowing.

There was already so many things, and you're like, what parents would let this happen? This is real? This is not a mind-blowing. There was already so many things, and you're like, how? What parents would let this happen? This is real? This is not a show. No, it's not. It really is.

Fucking Mormons are rock stars. These creeps, they know how to party. They know what they're doing. I mean, they're stealing kids, fucking the mom. What? Who? Forget about Catholics just getting head from the altar boys. These guys took it to another level.

And the best part about it is in the show, the guy who plays the dad is Colin Hanks, but he looks really old, so it looks like Tom Hanks jerking this guy off. It's fucking unbelievable. Oh, my God. You know how the Mormons, how they fuck when they're kids? What, bosom buddies should be? Soaking? Yeah, the friends who go under the bed.

No. So when you're a Mormon, the friends who go under the bed. No. So when you're a Mormon, their loophole is that they can't fuck. It's a lot like the Jews. You can't penetrate in and out. You can't thrust. Yeah. But you can put it in, and then you have a friend go under the bed and push the fucking mattress up and down.

So I'm not thrusting, but my dick's going in. It's like a Shabbos goy. It's like Catholic girls can get taken in the butt. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You can't take it. So I'm not thrusting, but my dick's going in. It's like a Shabbos goy. It's like Catholic girls can get taken in the butt. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You can't take it in the butt. That's their loophole. They have soaking. So they usually go in there, and you just stop.

So now you're just soaking in there. Then it gets unhard, and you pull it out, and it's just wrinkly, man. Like you're Jewish, and she hit her period. That joke I didn't like. The period joke. You didn't like it? No, because it's disgusting. Where do you go like this?

No, because it's disgusting. There is a lot in there that will disgust you. Ari Jafir Jew on YouTube right now. You will be disgusted. Mine, you will not. You will laugh. You'll be disgusted. You'll be great.

You'll be wholesome. Mine will be disgusting, too. LouisCGay.com. I'm going to be disgusting. Bobby's special is interesting because I saw you run it, and it's like, it is dirty and gross, but it's somehow accessible. I can imagine showing that to a grandma. Even though it's degenerate, it's still accessible.

I have something you don't have. It's likability. I could say something and get away with it. You say, that guy is a fucking piece of shit. Well, because he's a, you know,

tall guy. I love when you keep it real, though. Like when you were, I think it was on Rogan, we were like, yeah, well, first of all,

we're annoying. You've got to see it from their point of view. Kanye West, this isn't sudden. He's dealt with us. Have you seen the one clip with the Jewish doctor one? No, what is it?

Can we pull that up, Paps? It is. I didn't want to explain it. I just wanted you to see it. It's so funny. It's Kanye trying to dance around it as he has been, where he's like, you can't say this and you can't say that. And then he just fucking does it

it's so fucking exhaustion which was misdiagnosed by a I'm not gonna say what race what people doctor and what media went to we know I can't say

that it was a Jewish doctor he pauses for a half a second We know I can't say that. It was a Jewish doctor. He pauses for a half a second. He lasted a half a second. No one doesn't know what you're talking about. It's good. You can just leave it there.

You said, I can't say it. That's funny. But honestly, like, A Jewish doctor. I tell you who did not fix up his fucking mouth with the fucking wire was not a Jew doctor. That was a non-Jewish doctor who didn't just give him surgery. I love that he's doing just regular podcasts now.

And also he's still holding on to his phone. Like he's still so addicted to it that he can't leave it for a second. All these people that you're like, what's wrong with them? He's like, they're addicted to this thing. They can't let it go. It's driving them nuts. He was like, I'm not talking to anybody for a month i'm not having sex with anybody i'm like cleansing this that and the last thing was like but my

twitter will still be lit because people can't fucking give up it's terrible it's bad are you addicted yeah well i'm trying i've i've recently tried not to get a day i wake up and do other things before i touch my phone i don't really look at my phone. You're just going through his phone? No, this is my phone. I would never look at his phone. He's going through his phone. He just said to tweet it. He's all bright red. He's like, oh. You're one of the last people on earth.

I saw you tweeting off my phone. Kanye's right. Fuck the Jews. What'd you do? What'd you do what'd you do what'd you do right across the line what did he do did you tweet it

you might want to delete it delete that delete it now dude don't look at us it's gone it's deleted did you see that Christ

you gotta do it fast you don't you don't gotta do it you gotta do it it's just a question for you do it got to do it fast. You don't... You don't got to do it. You got to do it. It's just a question for you. Do it to him. Do it to him. You are a fucking animal.

You are an absolute animal. This poor kid is not going to be here next time. I should have done something different, but... Yeah, you think? Oh, my God. It's always in the moment. You got no time to think. This is like the first time ever

I was actually hacked. Like, Ari Shafir had my phone. Listen to me. When you go... You got it on camera. Just tweet... Pav, tweet, Ari Shafir had my phone. Listen to me. When you go to the prison. You got it on camera. Just tweet, Ari Shafir had my phone for a minute. Yeah. When you go to a prison and visit a prisoner and they lock him to the table and they say

don't touch him, don't hand him anything. Yeah, don't give him anything. Same shit. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's like, I used to do that to kids in middle school. I went to school and people, you forgot to log out of their MySpace or their Facebook. You just put it as a status like, I'm gay. Yeah, it was cock bombs.

It was black cock bombs. I was like, I love sucking black dicks. I can't help it. I hope everyone's happy for me. Yeah, that one. I was off on that one. I was off. Keep me out of the NHL.

Yeah, I love sucking black dicks is a good thing. Yeah, but if you get a gay guy's phone, you got to say, I've been hiding it. I love pussy. If you get Mateo's phone you gotta change it up imagine if Mateo came out straight he's been queerbaiting the whole time

imagine if Tim Dillon was really gay I have yet to see anything gay from him I don't believe it the last thing I would believe everything else

the moon landing all the other conspiracy theories it's right up there with it man tim dillon not gay i'm gonna prove it by what i'm gonna get him a second off yeah i'll prove he's gay i'm gonna prove he's not gay it's like fuck get him to check me off that that's that's good blow jobs or Keefe gives good blowjobs or shitty blowjobs great blowjobs

I can't even imagine or do you think he just gets I imagine him like bring me grapes suck me off like doing almost no work

yeah he'd be Caesar again yeah and another thing I didn't say stop I love it I didn't say stop. I love it. All right.

So your special's on Louie's site. You're on YouTube. It's awesome to have you guys here. I feel like you two guys are like the, if I had to pick like two of the OG, OG, OG guys, it would be you two. I'm glad we came in together. This is more fun.

It's always fun. No, I love him. He's one of the funniest guys. I would be you, too. I'm glad we came in together. This is more fun. Yeah. It's always fun. No, I love him. He's one of the funniest guys. I mean, he's gotten so much funnier in the last, I mean, last probably 10 years. You're one of the funniest guys walking right now. Yeah, I mean, and those numbers, the views on YouTube are earned. And I'm sure you're killing it with money. You could just say it is killing it. I'm sure you are.

I haven't done the stats. Well, I can't see it. Maybe if you bought the special, you cocksuckers. No, I can't see it. I'm going to send it to you. How much money are you making? I'm going to buy you the special. I'm going to send it to you.

I'm going to come back on. I will gladly pay for it. No, you don't need to pay for it. I'll send it to you. But yeah, I mean, it's awesome watching the guy. Oh, I saw that clip of when it was you, Attell, Norton, and Voss. And when you were like, let's show them that the old lions can roar. And Norton just fucking threw you right under the bus as soon as you took this.

What did he say? Norton did this thing where he does another character because he's into characters now. Nice guy Norton. It's infuriating. Nice guy Norton sucks. Nice guy Norton sucks. I fucking hate him. I hate Chip more.

I like shitting on Chip to his face. I hate Doug is the worst. I don't know Doug. Doug Bell is the worst and he put me into the culture. Kel's Bells. So now at all my shows, I look down at the crowd and there's just fucking Norton fans with Doug Bell shirts on. Oh God. And they go, Kel's Bells. I don't want to fucking. It's just fucking Norton fans with Doug Bell shirts on and they go Kel's Bell

I don't want to fucking It's a fucking cult man God bless him because he's got a fucking he's got nine different people Yeah Hey let me do a promo read for my special real quick

If you want to watch an amazing special on YouTube it's free first of all which is always nice and it's called Ari Shafir Jew. He's a nice man

and he has a great special out now. Go see it. I'm hungry. I'm hungry now. I want a sandwich. Thanks for having me on, man. Yeah, of course man Thank you. Bye.