KFC Radio - Awkward-Off, She's Tight, and French Montana

Episode Date: October 1, 2019

The Awkward-Off of embarrassing weekend moments. From bizarre Bills Mafia interactions, to drunken screaming to overflowing toilet bowls. Also John's review of "Dear Evan Hanson" Voicemails include: Referring to your vagina in the 3rd person, Slump Buster, Fiance copies me, and Alien Trump.French Montana drops by to talk about gladiator school, the curriculum he wants talk in school, his take on 6ix9ine and snitching, when Terrell Owens asked him to take a dive in a bowling match, P. Diddy, and his new record with Post Malone and Cardi B.You can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/kfcr

Hey, KFC Radio listeners, you can find every episode of KFC Radio on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. It's another edition of KFC Radio brought to you by Burrow. Football season is here. Playoff baseball is here. It is, the weather's changing, maybe it's a little too chilly at night. Perfect couch weather. Couch weather is upon us. Barstool

indoors weather is upon us. And the best, most functional couches in the world to hang out on and veg out on are Burrow couches. You're going to be sitting there for hours on end. You got to make sure it's comfortable. You got to make sure it's functional. You got to make sure you can get these quality couches into

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I'm sorry. I have something to say on that after. Okay. Well, I'm just saying as long as you're there, your couch will be there for you. Your burrow will be there for you to support you, whether you use it as a chair, whether you use it as a bed, or all of the above. Go to burrow.com slash KFC. That's B-U-R-R-O-W dot com slash KFC. Get 75 bucks off a new sofa.

Do you call it a sofa or do you call it a couch? Couch. Couch. You got to call it couch, Burrow. I don't know if there's a difference or not. I'm not putting on airs here. I'm a couch user. I'm couch Clancy, not sofa Clancy.

Give me a break. Burrow.com slash KFC. So what I was going to say was I'd like to issue a formal apology to Netflix. I spent many a month, perhaps a year, disparaging Netflix and their requests if I'm continuing to watch. I would say, shut up, robot, and just play the fucking TV show. Well, now that I dabble in a couple other streaming services, Hulu, Amazon Prime being some of them, and they don't ask me these questions i miss it because i fall asleep with it just playing i'll wake up two seasons later yeah you don't know where you stop crazy you can't just go back and resume it's very very infuriating i i think i've skipped three whole seasons of 30 rock and you didn't even know i mean i've seen it many times so i don't really

care but it's like you know i get season two and i wake up it's like season five's on and that's just where I start watching the next night. You know what it needs? It's not like to ask the question. It needs like a motion sensor. I mean, where's my beer? Right there. Yeah, are they warm as shit though? Yeah. I mean, were they

in a fridge or were they just sitting here overnight? So they're warm as shit. It's not terrible. It's certainly not ideal, but we're having beers here because they're warm as shit. It's not terrible. It's certainly not ideal. But we're having beers here because they're in the studio. We get in this morning and we get a group text that is a case of Sam Adams and a bunch of empties sitting around our table here. And, you know, I wasn't, like, mad. But we often, you know, KC Radio gets disrespected and the studio things get stolen and people aren't paying attention.

I was like, you know, who would steal 30-pack lunches? Who would come in here and start partying and leave all their shit around? And my brother said, well, unless it was John. And I said, John's been on a bender. Have I? I feel like you've been out drinking like seven nights in a row. If you're watching on Barstool Gold, we're drinking some Sam 76s here, which is no free ads, but that was a free ad.

Go to barstoolgold.com slash KFC. You can see. I mean, I wouldn't call it a bender because you're a professional, but I feel like you've been out at a bar like five or six nights in a row. Oh, yeah. The average person would call that a bender. That's just like – I mean, that's just dinner. You know, that's just where I go –

Are you eating dinner? Uh-huh. Yeah, that's where I went to dinner last night and just – And just kept going. Yeah, they just had alcohol at it, so I drank it. Well, that's what we like to call a good old-fashioned loophole. That's what alcoholics say at their meetings. How did you take dinner?

I had dinner. There you go. Yeah, a couple of bevvies at dinner what are you gonna do just did that seven nights in a row no big deal uh but yeah no i had friends in town this weekend um so yeah i guess a little bit of a bender was is a way to describe it but had a quick stop off at broadway who came we were here late friday night um with the legendary, the mighty OAR. Oh, yeah. We got the OAR guitar picks once again on Barstool Gold. Which is cool, by the way.

It's fucking really cool. It's got Richard's signature on the back. So we were here with OAR. We were with Benji and Richard and Grant. Mark was not around. So you were there with OAR. Yeah, Mark was not around. So you were there with OAR. But, I mean, Mark's the front man, so I feel like when you say OAR, Mark's there.

Mark was not with us. But yeah, we went out, we had a couple of beers. That was Friday night. Saturday morning, woke up, went to Broadway. Did not care for it. Wow. Did not like it, folks. And you've been hyping and hoping this one for a long time.

Really excited for this one. Didn't care for Dear Evan Hansen. You know what we need? Like, you know, Glennie has the balls. We need, like, you to have your own meter for – Should have it. For – just give him how many Feidelbergs? Dear Evan Hansen.

Out of 200 Feidelbergs. Out of 200? You have 200 to give out. Is that too many? We're not giving out Feidelbergs. We're giving out teen suicides. it's um we're not giving out filiburgs we give out teen suicides um it's on brand for the play i would give it i'll give dear evan hansen i don't even know what that means 116 out of 200 teen suicide we're talking like a 50 almost yeah well it was so

here's the deal with i i will give you like a broad uh idea the play. It's a high school kid, real bad anxiety. And just kind of awkward, whatever. And a bully in school kills himself. This is all very early in the play, so I'm not doing spoilers. It's the premise of the movie or play. And kills himself. The bully kills himself. The bully kills himself, yeah.

That's a little bit of a plot twist. Yeah. I mean, he's not really a bully. He's kind of like a dark brooding type kid. He pushes the Evan Hansen at one point. So yeah, he's a fucking bully. Fuck him. And then

Evan Hansen has a crush on his sister, so he kind of helps like he pretends he was best friends with the kid, with the psychopath. Okay. And he like starts the charities it's basically what happened in massachusetts with the girl okay the girl who like convinced the kid to kill himself only evan hands doesn't convince his kid to kill himself

but then like she goes on for you know she fakes all these charities and all that kind of stuff and it basically gets all this credit and like that's like that's supposed he's supposed to be the hero of the play i'm like this kid's a sociopath yeah this kid's not a good person no it's like it all actually made me feel really bad really it made me hate nerds more than like right on bullies like like keep doing your thing well it was just like his whole thing like they're singing songs about you know what it's like to be lonely and stuff like that as kids and it's like like, yeah, bro, we get it. We all feel those things. Just don't be so fucking weird about it.

You know what I mean? Like, you're not experiencing unique emotions. You're not different. You're the same as all of us. Just be fucking normal with it. Don't be such a loser. Go off. Bury those fucking weird emotions down.

Act normal on the outside And that's It made me lose respect for nerds I'm telling you man You guys think you're unique and different Well yeah we all have this fucking shit Just be regular with it I'm so happy you're saying it

I thought it for so long man Whenever we see any of these As the fucking Instagram's going right now I'm like There are certain There are certain things I say on KC Radio that I wouldn't say on the Instagram. Such as, you know, just like anytime I see some of these tragedies or these really extreme measures, I'm just kind of like, you're so dramatic. Like everybody is upset.

Like, their parents aren't the best, and they got dumped by the girl, or they got cut by the team, or they're not cool, or they're not popular. Like, find the fat girl who does like you, or fucking play the sport you're good at, or don't do any of it, but just don't fucking murder people over it, because we're all struggling. I've spent the better part of my adult life regretting not being nicer to nerds. I was never a bully.

I remember. Yeah, you said that. Yeah. I was never a bully or anything like that. But I've always been like, you know, I wish I went out of my way and said nice things to the kids who were different. Now I'm like, fuck, I should have stuck that kid in a fucking locker. Yeah, dude, I was sad too too just be normal in your sadness have your outward like yeah i had anxiety yeah i was

sad yeah i had all that shit but i could still be fucking normal it's like it actually is normal that's what you're not realizing your shitty life and your fucked up emotions are what makes you normal and this kid's supposed to be like this sympathetic figure, I think. And the whole time, like, he is a sociopath who was pretending to be friends with a kid who committed suicide so he can fuck that kid's sister. He's a sociopath. And we're like, oh, this poor Evan Hansen. Fuck Evan Hansen, man.

And then the kid that everyone's like You know he's like The good he's doing Is you know he's like Memorializing this psychopath And he's bringing like all this stuff And you know the town's not forgetting him And all this kind of shit And like you didn't

He's a psychopath You didn't tell me anything good Like in the story before he killed himself It's very early in the play They never did something good Where you're like okay okay, well, here's his good side. He deserves to be, like, remembered. Yeah. It's like, all you've told me is that one time he kicked down his sister's door and tried to kill her.

He would be, like, a bully in school with push kids. He would, like, smoke weed and tell his mom to go fuck herself. Like, you didn't tell me a single redeeming quality so these stories you're trying to tell the audience the the messenger or the the uh the the messenger is a sociopath and a psychopath i do not relate to these people i do not like these characters i know the songs are catchy don't get me wrong but still i feel like you know this is worth more than 116 out of 200 final breaks though because like you're you know maybe it's like for the wrong reasons but like i think it's not like you can't walked away saying like i don't even have anything to say about that show you're clearly passionate about yeah no i am for the wrong reasons right i guess it's yeah i don't

like i don't accept that stuff yeah when they're like you're still talking about me yeah i'm talking about you because you're a fucking idiot it's almost like if you make a movie that's so bad that it's funny it's like but you still made a fucking terrible movie. Yeah, but you failed. Yeah, your intent was totally off. Oh, boy. I think I'm trying to convince myself I liked it more. By the way, watch out, because let me tell you something. If the 200 Feidelberg scale is going to become, like, you know... Could you imagine that on, like, the playbill, like, on the top corner?

Like, 189 Feidelbergs! 119 suicides. Goddamn. But, yeah, so I think I was talking to my mom about it, and I was like, I really, I'm trying to convince myself to like it because I went with my friends who, one of my buddies had never seen Broadway, had never seen a show on Broadway before. He enjoyed it, but I think he kind of had similar feelings as I did.

So I'm trying to be like, that was a great experience. And we did it. We all had fun. We had a fun day. The experience can be separate from the subject matter. Yeah, but I think I just want it to be a nicer memory than I just didn't care for it. Well, the good news is you have a new friend that you could maybe go to see a play with. Someone you met this weekend.

Maybe next time you go to see a play, you can take him and wear yourself an untucket shirt. Because I would imagine when you go to a matinee, you know, it's a little more of a classy affair. You're going to Broadway, but it's still like a daytime matinee and you're not going to go wearing a tuxedo, but you want to dress up, you want to look good, but you want to be comfortable, boom. Put yourself a, put

an untucket shirt on, and it's the perfect in-between shirt where you're not looking like a long, baggy schlep, but you don't look like a dad, like tucked in like a fucking nerd. That's true. So you got yourself the perfect cut, the perfect length for a nice button up shirt. You say button up or button down? I say button down. I think I go.

They're different things, but they are. Yes. What are they? A button down is a shirt where the collar buttons down. Oh, that nobody knows that. Yeah. And a button up shirt. What are they? A button-down is a shirt where the collar buttons down. Oh, nobody knows that. Yeah, and a button-up shirt is... That may be the literal truth, but that's not what people think. Yeah, people think a button-down is just any shirt with buttons on it.

Yeah, yeah. A button-down collar is a button-down collar. Okay, fuck that. So the regular, if I'm talking about a dress shirt, you call it a... I call them all button-downs. I'm classy enough to know the difference. I'm not stupid enough to use it. I think I would say... I think I'm think i'm by i'm by on this one

you'll buy that go both ways i think it's just like whichever i think i lean more towards by button down yeah button down shirt but i could also be like you know what i would you know what it is if i say the word shirt i would say button down shirt if i just say button up you put on a button up i'm button down across the board that's ridiculous by the way that like that's the actual shirt, I would say button-down shirt. If I just say button-up. You put on a button-up. I'm button-down across the board. That's ridiculous, by the way. That's the actual definition. Those are stupid shirts. The ones that button the collars down.

I like them. They're dumb. I know they're the... Let's really make sure that fucking necktie's in there. They're not going anywhere. They're the more casual, informal short shirt. We can all agree if you have a button-down and you don't button it, you look like an asshole, though, right? Yes. Yeah, that's just ridiculous.

When I see people walking around with it, it drives me crazy. Right. But I also think it looks better with a button down collar. You're not supposed to. You don't need to worry about any of this when you rock an untucked shirt. They got 50 different fit combinations that look great on tall guys, short guys, slim guys, athletic guys, guys of all ages. Like I said, when you're looking for that perfect in-between, Untuck It is where it's at. They got the right materials, the right design, tons of color options, and you can get them online or in their brick-and-mortar shops.

They've been around with Barstool for a minute now. You know the name. We all wear them. So make sure you get yourself an Untuckit. Go to Untuckit.com or go to any of the 50 stores they own and get 20% off your first order when you use the promo code KFC at checkout. That's Untuckit.com, promo code KFC. So do you think your new friend will go to the Broadway with you?

Or, I mean, you can just watch football games with them all the time now. We weren't watching the game together, but you were watching it with your new friend? we'll go to the Broadway with you. Or, I mean, you can just watch football games with him all the time now. You know? We weren't watching the game together, but you were watching it with your new friend. I don't know what to do right now. John? I'm dead serious I don't know what to do right now. We have to do this segment.

He's listening, so. We have to do this segment. Go ahead and talk to him. It's got to be done. But I'm kind of scared to. i don't want to make him mad well i mean first of all he's a psychopath for hanging out and giving you notes second of all he's a member of bill's mafia so he has access to like fire and wood and tables and shit uh he clearly dude that was a weird move you know that right i mean it has to be like like that was really strange like also on top of it all not

only just regular social norms no doubt right like you know what like when people will often get this sometimes with stoolies you know 99 it's all good people come up they say what's up take a picture hang out for a minute have a beer they bounce buy a shot great very gracious awesome but every now and then one of them will be like do you ever just like hate people coming up to you? And it's like, yeah, you're fucking one of them right now, dude. Yeah. You know? You always do that. Right.

And I actually. Do you guys ever linger too long? And it's like, well, we're going on about 15 minutes here. So let me tell you what. Yup. And it's you right now. And I actually don't hate people coming up to me. But when you come up to me and you're like, must suck so much.

Like, haven't had like, just like random conversations with people all the time And like don't you get annoyed when like they come And like don't have anything to say I'm like dude How could you not realize Have you never heard of a mirror at all How could you not understand It's fine

Like I like people coming up to me Right But when they say that It's like wait a minute You don't get what's going on here at all apparently So So he's gotta know that But then on top of a minute. You don't get what's going on here at all, apparently. So he's got to know that. But then on top of all of it.

I don't know if we've explained what happened. He clearly knows you. Go ahead. Tell him. So today, or I'm going to say yesterday, I was sitting on my couch hungover as a dick. And I was in the like USA I was in my striker sports shorts and then like

you've been putting some miles on those yeah I only have like two pairs of shorts one of them basically always at the foot

of my bed I kind of just get up put them on but and one of my stupid button downs didn't match at all

hair a mess so hungover I was surrounded by $50 worth of Postmates McDonald's all of it crushedover. I was surrounded by $50 worth of Postmates McDonald's. All of it. Crushed it.

And I was just sitting there, not even attempting to tighten my core at all. You know, sometimes when you're just sitting there, and it's just like, it's just hanging. And you feel it. It's almost like. I often will suck in for myself. No one's even looking around, but I don't want to see it or feel it like touching the table or pushing out of my shirt. So I'm sucking in for my own self-respect. Not even at a level where I was doing that.

It was just whatever. I'm a shitbag right now, and that's fine. And so I'm sitting there. It's probably like 4.30. No, no, no, 5 maybe. It's almost halftime of the 4 o'clock games. And there's a knock at my door. My front – my apartment door.

And I was like, this is weird because I know my roommates aren't in town. And I know I didn't order food because sometimes I can just get in the front door and you don't have to buzz them in. Yep. So I kind of just like fucking meander over to the door. I have a peephole. I didn't use it, but I open it. And it was almost briefly for a minute like a Jesse and Gail situation where it was me and this kid just kind of staring at each other.

I think he had thought. He hadn't processed what was going to happen next. What if John answers the door? Yeah, yeah, yeah. And that's what happened. I answered the door to my apartment. And how do you think he lives in your building? He lives in my building, but I don't know how he does my floor because my name isn't on any.

And then individual door. Yeah, I'm sorry. I meant like my specific apartment because I didn't. My name isn't on the mailbox. My name isn't on the buzzer. He's like seeing you go in. Yeah, he's just see me go in the house in the building. But it's a big building.

Go into your room, into your apartment. I don't think so. I don't know how. Was he walking around every floor knocking? That's what I mean. It's 13 floors or six rooms per floor. Maybe he saw you get off of the floor one time in the elevator. And then maybe he went and knocked on every door.

And that's why he was taken off guard because he was like, oh, someone actually answered. Oh, this is the one. That might have been his fifth door for all you know. I guess it could have been. Which is even weirder. But he hands me. He goes, I just wanted to bring you a note. I was like, oh, someone actually answered. Oh, this is the one. He's like, that might have been this fifth door, for all you know. I guess it could have been. Which is even weirder. But he hands me. He goes, I just wanted to bring you a note. I was like, oh, cool, thanks.

And I kind of stepped back. But that's usually it, right? Like, you gave me a note. And he's like, no, no, no, read it. Oh, in front of him? Yeah. Heavens to Betsy. So I open it.

It says this is John F. on the front of the card. And I open the card. And inside of it, I took a picture of it. Inside, it says, Dear John, I held the door open for you last week and wish I hadn't. Bills Mafia says fuck you. Signed, Bills Mafia. Signed, go Bills.

In like a Michael Scott,ne gretzky type situation yeah yeah yeah um and i was like ah and i kind of like i don't know what you say to that and then god he started he started talking about the game and i was like yeah yeah you know it's a tough one you know bills played well they're a good team whatever and i kind of just i i had a lip in and i i hadn't expected to be at my door for three minutes, so I was like, I got to spit. So I kind of, like, stepped back from the door and go to my living room table to get my spitter.

Did he just walk in? He didn't, he crossed the threshold. Yes, he did walk in, I guess, technically. It wasn't like he came in in, but, like, yeah, he was in my apartment. Did the door close, like, on him? No, yeah he was in my apartment yes did the door close like on him no the door stayed open he stayed he stayed in the doorway he's he stayed in if i were to close the door it would have shut on him but he was in my apartment technically he had jiminy cricket crossed into my apartment the threshold and he was like your wedding night he's like hey man i

know i don't want to be weird but do you mind if i come sit down for a bit i mean how can you not understand if you have the awareness to say i don't want to be weird how can you then go and make the weirdest request of all time he said he was just trying to get some takes about the game and i was like put on the fucking broadcast it was a shitty game go on the goddamn twitter patriots won their four and oh it wasn't a great game offense didn't get rolling everyone was out of sync john John Jones didn't do anything wrong. Go. There's my takes. Done.

But then, like, honestly, I don't know. I'm not one of those people who's like, get the fuck out of here. So when he said that, luckily, Casey had just texted me asking if I wanted to get a drink. So in my head, I was already doing that. I probably would have said no to Casey had that kid not been there. And I needed to say Actually I'm about to go to dinner I gotta jump in the shower

So we can't do it But then he still stayed for like Seven more minutes after that And I was like I can't I don't know I keep like alright I'll see you later And he's just

I don't know I honestly I don't know what to do I'm sorry if that upset you dude But you had to know that was weird Had to? Was he drunk at all? I couldn't tell It to do I'm sorry if that upset you dude But you had to know That was weird Had to Was he drunk at all I couldn't tell

It wasn't like slurring Bonus zone Bonus land sort of Like you know what I mean Like the next day It was like 4 o'clock It was 5 o'clock He had a couple

Maybe like the shampoo effect Like he had a couple So he's like dopey He might have had I mean it wasn't Trying to give him The benefit of the doubt It wasn't a noticeable drunk

I can't live in a world Where people think That's normal Although I mean We're talking about A Bills Mafia member. That's not normal. They don't have social grace. They don't know what they're doing.

That's very true. That was probably the most polite Bills Mafia is going to get. You're lucky that guy didn't take off his pants and just sit on your couch. Like, oh, you're going to go out? I'll catch you when you get back. I'll get some wigs on her. Wait, this was the same day of the Bills game? Yeah, it was right after the pass.

And he's a Bills Mafia guy? Yeah. He was drunk. Yeah, this was the same day of the Bills game? Yeah, it was right after the pass. And he's a Bills mafia guy? Yeah. He was drunk. Yeah, probably. He's in a Bills jersey. But, like, I mean, it wasn't like, oh, that was. Right, right, right.

But I'm just saying. He had his wits about him. Like, do you think he went home that night or woke up the next morning and was like, whoa? Or do you think he was just like, yeah, hey, guys, guess who I met? Feidelberg. And they were like, how'd you meet him? Well, I bombarded him and bum-rushed his room. He was telling me about how he

had... Yeah, what'd you guys talk about? I mean, he used to have a Josh Allen jersey. He doesn't anymore. Anymore? It's just fucking... He had a Josh Allen Wyoming jersey. Oh, okay. I'll see you guys. He loved our Seth Rogen interview. That's like 18 months ago. He was like, you know Seth, right? I was like, I mean, I interviewed him one time. I wouldn see you guys. He loved our Seth Rogen interview. That's like 18 months ago.

He was like, you know Seth, right? I was like, I interviewed him one time. I wouldn't call him. I know him about as much as you know me. Do I know Seth Rogen? I interviewed him. I wouldn't sit on his couch for 10 minutes on Sunday uninvited. Fucking lunatic.

It was. So now, I mean, now you're going to like see him all the time. He's in your building. I don't know. Like, I honestly don't know where he like. I've never seen him before. I hope I'll see him. I call my girlfriend.

I'm like, you've got to move down here now. You've got to get the fuck out. You almost hope that he – what's worse? If he's in your building, meaning you'll probably run into him, or if he's not, which means he did reconnaissance on you. He's definitely in my building. He says he held the door open once. Oh, right, did reconnaissance on you. I mean, he's definitely in my building. He says he held the door open once. Oh, right, right, right. Okay.

But, I mean, I don't know. I don't know. Don't get mad about this and, like, kill me or something. Please. Come on. Those mafia, like, they're peaceful people. They only injure themselves. And don't even, like, if you see me again,

don't even apologize for it. Would you definitely recognize him again? Yes. Yes. Yes. I could give you a line up So just If you do see him Don't apologize

Just be like We'll just nod Pretend it didn't happen Yeah No pretend it didn't happen Even say hello though Like should we even say hello? Yeah cause I mean

I say hello to everybody I can't I literally I nod at everybody Give him I mean yeah I can't believe I need to explain this You give him

The apartment neighbor nod Maybe a how you doing Good that's it Done That's it Social norms I mean, yeah. I can't believe I need to explain this. You give them the apartment neighbor nod. Maybe a how you doing? Good. That's it. Done. That's it. Social norms.

I want to see. We'll have a little contest here. And Nick and Brendan can vote. And then we can put it out to the people for who had the more awkward moment. Because I got my own. I got two of them. One funnier. One is just awkward and sad.

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Promo code KFC20. I was Friday night. I was. Hey, I'm sorry. Real quick. Are men's waist? Yeah. Like 34.

Does that mean my waist is 34 inches? I think so. I think it's pretty clear cut. That's why I think girls are stupid. I think it's just like. Like we're. We measure around and we're 34. We're the metric system.

Where it's like. It makes sense. Yeah. There are 100 centimeters in a meter. Yeah. There are a metric system where it's like – It makes sense. Yeah, there are 100 centimeters in a meter. Yeah. There are 1,000 meters in a kilometer. This all makes sense. They're fucking whatever it is we use in America.

The U.S. system. What do you call it? I think it's the English system. The English system. Yeah, fuck the English system. Yeah. But that's because I don't think a girl wanted to be a 34. I think she wanted to be a 4.

You know what I mean? That's so stupid. So in that sense, they're probably smart. But – I'm sorry to interrupt you. I was walking on the street on Friday night and come in the other direction. I was on a date and I'm walking the other direction and I see this girl. And I can hear this girl from a distance because she is sloppy drunk.

And she's screaming about wine. And I hear her going like, where's your Pinot Noir? You got Pinot Noir? Where's your Pinot? Like, what kind of Pinot do you have? So I can hear her from the distance. And I see her. And her friend has got her arm locked around her.

And they're doing the baby giraffe wobbling in heels and shit. And kind of pinballing around the sidewalk. I'm like, oh, boy, this girl is fucking drunk. And then we get closer, and she's just a fat pig. She's just gross. She's just a sloppy barnyard pig. Jesus. And you'll understand why I call her that.

So as we get closer, she recognizes who I am. And she hits me with, like, the Cersei Game of Thrones shame walk. She calls me out by my handle and starts going, Fuck you! Fuck KFC Barstool! You fucking piece of shit! You scumbag! And, like, her friends, I don't think even know anything about anything.

Are you with your day at this point? Yes. Oh, boy. And I am, like, for the first time, like, in a long time, I'm, like, completely, like, I don't know what to do. So I'm just, like, I mean, you know, we're passing each other. So it's not like there was too long of an interaction. But I, if people ever, like, sometimes they know and they're like, KFC or whatever, they just tell your name. I usually just kind of keep walking.

I don't want to stop. I don't want to react. But certainly when they're, like, sometimes they know and they're like, KFC or whatever. They just tell your name. I usually just kind of keep walking. I don't want to stop. I don't want to react. But certainly when they're like, yeah, maybe that. So I'm just kind of like head down, keep walking. And she's like, you fucking piece of shit. And then she says something that sounded like she fucked me, which I think was just gibberish. I promise you again, Barnyard Pig did not fuck this girl. But it kind of sounded like that.

So now not only am I getting the, the Cersei shame walk, but now it sounds like, I was like, what, what the fuck was that about? Like, what did she say?

And I'm like, I don't know, but like at this, everyone knows everything. So I'm like, I think we know why, but I didn't know specifically why. And it was just like the most, worst it was the now it was the

worst how did that work out with the date because i can see that go i can see you go both ways i can see it going either way yeah i mean it was uh it was not like that big of a deal i mean pretty much anybody who's hanging out with me at this point knows the deal and is either okay with it or not but they've made their peace yes i was gonna say and most people have made their peace but we are now a couple years in i'm doing cersei cersei shame walks that's i i had almost did you didn't say anything to her no i mean i was just like i i don't know what that was i was seeing that situation i was just like, I don't know what that was. I would see in that situation. But I was just like kind of muttering.

I mean, I think I said what I just said now. Like, fucking fat pig. I was. She was kind of like, I wish I could have said something. You know, like, you're down with me, you're down with me. But like, it was, I was like, any amount of peace that I have made with things over the past however long. I was like, fuck this shit. Well, I can see it's one of those things where you're used to dealing with it in certain situations and certain scenarios.

And certain amounts of it. It's like if we're going to be doing screaming in public, I'm going to abandon any sort of – I'm going to go Bills Mafia full blown. I'll have no social grace. That's what I mean. It's one thing you can have it. You can it yeah i see tweets about it i've i've dealt with that i know how it is but it's one thing we're like you don't know you've never been in this situation you don't know how to react you've never been like confronted by an aggressive person screaming in your face while you're with someone who i you know i mean at some level have a chivalrous responsibility in your head to protect

and right or at least show your time right like you know be like put it out you feel like you're being like I can see just like all out snapping I can see waking up Saturday morning and being like Kevin murdered somebody yeah finally huh honestly I wonder I was that was the situation explained it like I see like you don't know how You're gonna react When someone's just Screaming in the street I don't think a jury convict Yeah What do you think

Would be better or worse If it was a guy or a girl To murder No just like I was gonna say guy In the murder one Probably easier If it was a girl

It was easier for a girl Better for your image If it was a guy If a guy said that to me I literally thought You were talking about murder To murder I was saying Johnny David shit We're discussing murder image if it was a guy if a guy said that to me i literally thought you were murder to murder johnny david we're discussing murder i i'm just thinking like if it was a guy i probably wouldn't have bit my tongue but also like i don't know and that guy probably would like ended up

like beating me up in the street so probably best that it was a chick yeah i probably would have gone like if you just get yelled at for having infidelity. And then you try to stick up for yourself. You just get your fucking shit kicked in by a cuck. That's the end of that date. At least it was a chick. And I could be like, well, you know. I'm a girl, so I'm not going to do anything about it.

But yeah, I'll just call her a fat pig on the radio uh so so that was uh awkward story number one awkward story number two is is more uh kind of funny uh i guess well that that's brought to you by fleishman salon the only reason i can be on these dates in the first place is because i got hair on my fucking head pop me a couple gummies i didn't have mine today and when i say a couple i mean four i. I'm going to take four. I'm a two guy. Yeah, I mean, we're all supposed to be two guys, but I'm a four guy. No, we're supposed to be one guys.

No wonder I'm blowing through these bottles so fast. I don't know, two. Serving size is always two. Fleischmann's a lot. They cut my hair They cut Jared's hair They cut the rocket John's hair

Erica She's gonna be mad at me about this Cause She texted me It's time for a haircut And not only did I not go get it yet I also didn't do anything with it today So

Did you see what the rocket's done? No The rocket went and got himself a low Low fade Oh really? Does she know about that? I don't think she knows yet Oh boy

You know how she is about necklines and sideburns and shit. He just has, like, from here down, like, you know, faded again. And he was like,

I just can't do it anymore. I'm like, listen, you're a grown man. You can do whatever you want. Just know that the pit bull is going to fucking come for that ass. I mean, look,

why would you go do that? Erica knows about hair. Erica creates the hair gummies because she knows everything about hair. That's what I said. Erica creates, like, hair products because she knows everything about hair. I am just going to listen to the person? Erica knows about hair. Erica creates the hair gummies because she knows everything about hair. That's what I said. Erica creates hair products because she knows everything about hair. I am just going to listen to the person who knows everything about hair.

That's what I said. If you have your own opinion, sure, go ahead and be a grown adult and do what you want. But I listen to professionals, and this woman's a professional. She made her entire life about hair to the point that she took everything she had and dumped it into a salon that now turned into like four salons, right? Five. Five. She's going to go into like probably multiple cities. She's now online.

They're coming out with shampoos, conditioners, hair products, hair like blow dryers. The gummies are what's out right now and the gummies are what's most important because if you don't have hair on your head, none of this matters. The hair gummies have 2, 500 mcgs what's that milligrams micrograms sure whatever it's the thing i just made up of biotin which is 833 percent of your daily value that makes your motherfucking hair grow so uh good gummies for good hair and if you are in the new york area you can go get your hair cut and styled by her too. Listen to the professionals.

The professionals are the ones who know how to style your hair, how to cut your hair, and how to make sure you have hair on your head. So if you've got it, keep it. I recommend you get on all sorts, any sort of the hair supplements. Go get them. But you can certainly do the gummies. And right now you can get 20% off when you go to Fleisch uh fleishman salon.com and fleishman is spelled f-l-e-i-s-c-h-m-a-n fleishman salon.com use the promo code kfc get 20 off your hair gummies and be on the lookout for all the other products they've got coming they've got the uh like i said the uh the

conditioner the shampoo all that stuff but get the first six months of your subscription 20% off and use the promo code KFC at FleischmanSalon.com. So things, you know, Fat Pig didn't derail things enough that I wasn't at this girl's apartment. And she has, she lives in an apartment building that has like industrial strength toilets. Like it doesn't have like a tank on the back. She lives in an apartment building that has industrial-strength toilets. It doesn't have a tank on the back.

It has the metal stainless steel flushometers or whatever they're called, right? Like in an office building. Yeah, like in an office building. You kick it and you say you never touch it. One of those things. So it's like a heavy-duty flush. That's a serious toilet. Right? Serious toilet. Right? A serious toilet. And she was like, when it flushes right now, it, like, really swirls and kind of, like,

swirled up and out of, like, the crack in between the toilet seat and the toilet bowl. It splashed? Splashes out, right? But, like, you know, it spins for a while and then kind of, like, spits out. So, whatever. You know, I just, like, kind kind of like spits out. So whatever. I just like – just kind of like just be aware of that. And at one point – I'd be like, okay, so I'm pissing in the sink.

Thank you. Yeah, well, basically, right? At one point she went to the bathroom and it like spun extra long and then it made this noise like gunk, gunk, gunk, gunk. And then like the shower drain like made some noise and she was like whoa like things are really getting fucked up in my apartment here my bathroom's getting worse and worse and worse so uh so i end up at this point we should yeah we should just like pee in the sink or whatever that's right i'm a big sink but she was she said like it's been going on for a while that The extra noises were new, but the splashing was something new or something going on for a while.

So I'm thinking whatever. So I hit the flush. And it just doesn't stop. It's swirling uncontrollably, spitting out in between, like I said, the seat and the bowl, and it's not stopping. I'm talking. The bathroom is flooding. I'm watching it go into the holes where the radiator is. It's probably sinking down below to the neighbor downstairs, and it's 10 seconds.

It's 20 seconds. It's 40 seconds. It's's a minute it's two minutes i'm like i'm like call someone like call your super like get them over here right now john it went for like it went for like 30 minutes why she i i grab a fucking uh garbage bag at one point and i like kind of like cover the bowl but it just like fills up this bag yeah yeah I don't know those work so like and I was gonna try to angle it so I'm hoping that like maybe can fill up but contain it and then just like leak back into the bowl and this thing it's like a tsunami it's just water is the most powerful force on earth right so I'm like I don't know what

to do we gotta like seal this off somehow she's like do you need duct tape I'm like, I don't know what to do. We got to like seal this off somehow. She's like, do you need duct tape? I'm like, sure. Get me some fucking duct tape. So I'm ripping out. I put like a piece of tape on in between the crack, right? And I'm hoping it's going to be like a backboard. Maybe it just like spits out, hits the tape, spits back in. Well, now it just shifts like to where it's leaking out. Put a fucking piece of tape over there.

Shifts it again. I use, like, a whole roll of duct tape. This bitch's toilet is covered in duct tape. I've got a bowl. I got a garbage can under one thing. I've got two cups in two other spots where it's now spitting out and leaking. And I've got it, in two other spots where it's now spitting out and leaking. And I've got it like somewhat contained. It's still dripping, but it's no longer just like spreading all over her floor.

But it's just whipping still. So now I just close like the top top, like the seats down and now the covers down. And I'm just duct taping everywhere. And I'm soaked in fucking what is clean water, but it's toilet water. And I'm just pulling and stripping i mean clean water that's touched the toilet bowl exactly so not that not that clean not that clean and so like i mean she eventually puts in like a work order and like you know like probably a half hour later the guy shows up but uh but i fucking contained it bro Dude that's What Wait

Did you get married again And not tell me I know I mean I just be like The second that thing happens Just run See you later Hey guys this is my apartment

Peace I mean like Honestly It would take That's for better or worse shit This is for worse Yeah Right here

This is the worst they talk about at the altar. I'll stay through sickness and health, through fucking leaky toilet shit. Otherwise, fuck off. If that was a one-night stand, I probably would have been like, all right, I'm going to run to the hardware store. I'll be right back. And just never go back. Come back.

Never go back. See that girl again in six months. She's drunk yelling about Peter Noir. KFC Barstool That was like Check from the future Sort of shit You left my fucking toilet running Oh well done John

Well done Let's get into these voicemails for the day And then we got an interview with French Montana, which was – French Montana came through and did the whole car wash. I don't think it went well with anybody except us. We walked out like, hey, French was great, right? And everyone was like, what the fuck are you talking about? French was late.

French was fucking this, that, the other thing. We had a great time with French Montana. I enjoyed French quite a bit. We had a great conversation, including a highlight, which maybe you've seen the clip by now because we put it out on social when it first happened uh i i almost went three for three asking rappers uh probing questions that they do not appreciate i thought there was going to be a third incident i i action bronson said he wanted to throw me through the wall e40 was very gracious about it but definitely didn't like The one question I asked him And then this one I took a long pause

I thought about asking it I let it fly anyway And I thought I thought French kind of ducked it for a moment But he ended up going off talking about Tekashi69 and snitching to the police In what was like One of the most emotional moments ever on KFC Radio I couldn't believe it

Sometimes we wrap up a show and I'm like, did French Montana just almost cry on our show? What the fuck is going on, man? And thank God he was receptive to the question because, you know, Ashley Bronson, I don't know what his deal is. I feel like we could at least have a good scrap with him. French has people who will throw you through a table. French has people who throw me into my coffin, into a grave.

His security guard came by to kiss the joint ahead of time. I remember his name. I don't remember names. I remember Max's name because it's like one of those things when you see something that is so very clearly a legitimate threat to your well-being. It's like how you learn how our ancestors learned, that is so very clearly a legitimate threat to your well-being. It's like how you learn how our ancestors learned,

like, don't eat those berries because it's just a primal thing. Avoid, yes. They just learned, like, Max, don't fuck with Max. He would have had us like that Sting commercial where he's just got the kid, and he's just kind of running them through the house, beating the shit out of them. That's what Max would have been doing with our bodies, dead bodies, all over these shelves.

We opened up the door to the studio, so he sent his security ahead of time to, like, check things out because if you don't know, French Montana is one shot in the head because his own people set him up. So I think he takes some serious precautions these days. Max had to duck to get under the doorway. Look at the size of that fucking door. Like, he had to turn sideways to fit it width-wise.

And, yeah, I mean, look at the height compared to the handle. Like, I mean, that is honestly, like, that door is, like, 10 feet tall. Look at that. It is taller than 10 feet tall. He had to be, what, like, 7 feet tall, right? Even more than that. That's got to be. This man was 8 feet tall.

He was 8 feet tall. It was crazy. And, of course, being, like, a gentle giant, because they all are, he had a million-dollar smile, had the softest, nicest handshake, just was like, I'm here to check things. I was like, that is the ultimate deterrent. That man has never been in a fight in his life. He's never had to throw hands once because no one's even considered doing anything violent around him at all. And we weren't about to do it. But, yeah, that could have been – imagine if he was just like, Max, this white boy asked me something rude.

Like, do what you do. Just crush my head like a fucking grape. So big interview mountain what like the mountain yeah it would have been easier yes he would have worked out hard max probably just palmed it seriously god what a fucking monster i want to be you know what we should do by the way uh i saw pat uh barstool pat said he was at a bar and Eduardo Saverin was there and he had security. Like – About that. We're talking about Spider-Man? No, no.

Right? We're talking about the real Eduardo Saverin, right? No, you said the guy in the Facebook movie. The guy who played it or the real guy? I believe the tweet said the guy who played Eduardo Saver in the Facebook movie. Oh, yeah, Andrew Garfield? Okay, I thought it was the real guy. Andrew Garfield's fucking Spider-Man.

We're giving him the guy who played Eduardo Saver? Andrew Garfield is a very famous person. You can say Andrew Garfield. You can say Spider-Man. You can say Emma Stone's fiance or husband or whatever it is. A lot of things are important. Spider-Man is Tom Holland now. Yeah, that's true.

So if you can't have Spider-Man taken from him. But you're still like, yeah, you're not Eduardo Saab. I think you're Andrew Garfield. Right. Maybe I'm very in tune with pop culture, but I know who Andrew Garfield is. More than Eduardo Saab, right? I had to look up who was Eduardo Saverin in the Facebook movie

and I was like, who played him? Oh, Andrew fucking Garfield. Yeah, yeah, you're right. That's why,

see, that is such a ridiculous thing to say. I thought he must have meant it was just Eduardo Saverin. Yeah, the dude who played

Eduardo Saverin in the Facebook movie. It would be impressive if Eduardo Saverin just walked into the bar and you were able to ID him. I believe Eduardo Saverin would be... He's movie. It would be impressive if Eduardo Saverin just walked into the bar and you were able to ID him. I believe Eduardo Saverin would be – he's an expat, right? Is he allowed in the country?

I don't even know. He relinquished or whatever you call it his American citizenship, so he didn't have to pay his taxes. But I don't know if that means you're allowed back. He lives in Singapore, I believe. Singapore is where it's at if you're rich, by the way. If you're a white person with money in Singapore You live like a king Anyway my point was Like We should just

Hire a guy like Max Go to a bar with security And people will think We're so fucking important You roll in with a guy like Max People are like This guy must have billions Yeah

Or this guy must have like State secrets or something like that You're important If you have someone like Max I kind of want to get like a I want to have like Zobby My bodyguard like Mac, I kind of wanted to get like a, I want to have like Zobby, my bodyguard.

That'd be funny. Have Zobby dress like a bodyguard with the shit. Like, you know, everyone like step back, step back, step back. He's here.

He's just like, he's here. He's alive. And we'll get tall. He still lives in Brooklyn. Remember that guy? The two of them. That was legitimately six foot ten. He was humongous.

He was still, he was an early 20 something year old kid who was still learning to walk. That's how big he was. He was probably still growing. Yeah, he was still he was an early 20-something year old kid who was still learning to walk. He was probably still growing. He was still getting used to his body. He would fumble around the barstool office all the time. I've had this for 20 years. Are you drunk? No.

I'm just 6'10". What do you get when you're drunk? I get like I'm a 6'10 non-athlete. I got body parts. I just don't know what to do with all this fucking meat on me. It takes like a solid one or two seconds for the brain messages to travel to your hands. Oh, man. Everything he did looked like a fucking draft learning to walk.

Just like a baby that just came. Like a baby draft that just got shitted out. Now they just like all of a sudden they just, like – It's like, yeah, I know how to walk already. Kind of. Good enough. Good enough. Voicemail today brought to you by Ashford University.

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KFC MBA. You. It's KFC NBA. KFC NBA. You want to be like me? Go to ashford.edu slash KFC. Hi, my name's Corey down in Jersey. What's up, KFC? Fight BC. So, fucking weird situation. I'm hooking up with this chick.

Cute. A lot of fun. She refers to her vagina in the third person. Calls it she all the time. As in during sex, calling it she's tight. Sexing, calls it she. It's just fucking weird. I mean, have you guys ever seen this or heard this?

Anything like that? Or, I guess a hypothetical, what's the weirdest thing that someone's called their vagina? Later, guys. The vagina is a difficult one to navigate, much like boobs and tits. There's really no, you know, we've said this before. It's like some words sound very medical. I think if you say vagina, that to me, I sound like I'm an OBGYN. I think if I say pussy, there are certain instances where saying pussy is a little bit much. I think if you say something like JJ or whatever, it's the worst.

If you say anything remotely childish, talking about a thing I have sex with. Yeah. Not okay. Let's not try to infantilize. They're not trying to do that. And if you do, like, the frat boy, you know, axe wound, gash, like, slit, you know, none of that, that's also terrible. So it's tough. I was going to say, when he said, like, third person, I didn't really know what it was going with.

I assumed it was something stupid like this. I think maybe he said, like, she always calls her vagina. I was like, oh, boy, here it is. She's going to say, when he said, like, third person, I didn't really know what it was going with. I assumed it was something stupid like this. I think maybe he said, like, she always calls her vagina. I was like, oh, boy, here it is. She's going to have a stupid name. I figured it was going to be, like, you know. Vagina. Yeah, my vagina. My vagina.

My vagina. My vagina. My vagina. My vagina. My vagina. My vagina. My vagina. My vagina.

My vagina. My vagina. My vagina. I, like, I'll tell you one thing. I'm going to be dead honest with you guys right now. Oh, boy. He said, she said, she's tight. She's tight.

Got you going. Got you going. Felt it. I have to. I don't even know a little i don't even notice i kind of been humping the fucking desk right here for a minute that's what i was gonna say i think the solution i think the solution to this problem is what this girl does i think i like it like oh she fucking loves it like yes she does that's what i'm saying That fucking saucy bitch I think it's a little bit much

If you are like If it's at all times If you're just like Casually talking And as everything else Don't talk about anything I don't want to hear about your pussy If you're just like

She has a UTI That's gross She's got a cold today She's got a runny nose Say you have gonorrhea Jesus Christ Be an adult She needs to shave

Like no no no no no I don't like any of that But I think a lot of like You know If she's getting fucked I'm in That's it If my dick's inside it

You can call it a she If she's wet Okay Yeah If she's got any female problems Like any woman, really, I just want to hear about it when things are going good. Otherwise, don't need to hear your stupid story.

She's sloughing the skin off. No, no, don't need it. I think this is great. I don't think this is weird at all. You can't do any voices with it, though. She can. She can. She can.

Oh, she's got a little sticky today. Get off of this thing about these pussies having colds, all right? I don't like it. Bottom line, I think she and her and talking about fucking her is cool. Yeah. Yeah, I know. I'm in. I'm all the way in.

You might have to send a text in a second. Just so you know, your vagina's got a new name. It's she. This is KFC Radio, the feminist podcast where we still do gender terms just when talking about your pussy. Yeah, just a literal pussy. My pussy goes by the pronouns she, her. You want to turn it into a dick one day?

That's fine. I'll call it he, him. But right now it is she, her. She identifies as a she. Hey, what's up, boys? So the other day you were talking about, you know, that kid that goes hunts and his girlfriend may or may not go with him, and is that okay? Which made me think of my own fiance and she

kind of basically just does every single thing that I do and kind of adopted it and now it's all her favorite shit. For example, I grew up with four wheelers and dirt bikes. That's kind of my thing. She didn't grow up with any of that shit. When she met me, now that's her favorite thing in the world. I grew up with a boat. You know, I like to go fishing. I like to go boating destinations, Newport, Rhode Island, Block Island, all those places. Now that's her favorite thing. You know, I play Fortnite. Now she likes to play Fortnite. I play Madden. Now she likes to play Madden. I drink Bud Light. She used to drink Miller Lite.

Now she loves Bud Light. I mean, she's my fiance. I love her to death. She's you to shit. But anything I do, all of a sudden is now her favorite thing. So my question is, do you have a problem with this? If it was your girlfriend slash fiance slash wife, would it bother you? And not to mention, I'm not shitting on her.

She's super fucking cool. I'm just saying, would this bother you? Yeah, she seems great, bro. Seems like you're really fucking in love with her. I was waiting for that voicemail to finish out with a gun cocking and the fucking phone hitting the floor. Are you kidding? Oh, yeah, no, she's great. You love her. This is going to last real.

No problem. It sounds like you really love having her around all the fucking time, dude. That voice just kept going higher and higher. I love Bud Light. She loves Bud Light. I like Fortnite. She likes Fortnite. I like to go to the mall.

She likes to go to the mall. I thought that was going to stop seven examples earlier. Me too. My favorite Thanksgiving is my favorite holiday. His eyes were probably popping out of his fucking head. He had veins popping out of his neck. He probably kicked the dog and burst down

the fucking door. Oh, man. I am going to defer to you on this one. I'll tell you why in a second. So you give me your take first. Okay. Yeah, I think you're like okay i've got confused i'm sorry uh yeah i mean it is you can't have it although it did it did start off

well i started off on a completely different thing and i was just focused on that the whole time because you said he grew up with dirt bikes yeah did everyone have like two like two kids in town who were like dirt bike kids and i I was always so jealous of them. Like I wanted to be a dirt bike kid. I used to ask my mom for a dirt bike all the fucking time. She'd be like, no. And it was the saddest thing in the world. And then when I turned 20, maybe, something like that, I was like, mom and dad, thank you.

Thank you so much for never getting me a dirt bike. Because if I was a dirt biker, like all dirt bikers, I would have died of a heroin overdose at 17. And my friends would have worn Fox t-shirts to my funeral. That's just what dirt bikers do, I think. I like what you're saying. I would have really maybe injured myself. No, no, no.

I would have got hooked on heroin. I just feel like if you do heroin, you're a dirt biker. The Venn diagram is completely intersecting. Yeah, heroin and stale monster energies in your F-150 truck. Just in the cup holder.

Like, yeah, you smoke cigarettes, do heroin, monster, and I ride a Fox on the weekends. 250 horsepower, baby. Been working on my weekends. 250 horsepower, baby. Been working on my fucking Christ Air for a while. You know more than I do. I think Christ Air is a skateboarding trick from Tony Hawk. You take the skateboard and you spin it. I imagine there's some kind of way.

I was big into it when I was young. I was like at X Games. I'd go to the X Games stuff. I wanted to be a dirt bike. Do you remember there was a bike, like a bicycle, that had plastic on the... it looked like a dirt bike. Do you remember that? Oh, yeah.

Do you remember that? Because I remember that, and I remember thinking it was cool as fuck, and I was like, if I can't have one, I want it to look like one. Get one of these and put a fucking pack of cards in the back. Yeah. Yep. That, yeah. Dirt biking. in the back yep uh that yeah dirt biking so let's let's let's first acknowledge that this guy has got to be a little bit weirdo himself oh yeah dirt biker but what the reason why i deferred because i i'm all over the map on this one because i once believed that you need to have like

separation and uh you know the couple that like does everything together. It weighs too much. And what not. And then. I kind of came around. I don't know where I stand on it anymore. Because I think that like. Like I used to go out all the time.

Like we both like to go out and drink. And party. And go to restaurants. Go to dinner and all that shit. So we did it all the time together. I know a lot of guys who their girlfriends are like, I'm going to bed. I'm tired. You go with the boys.

And then they got their time with the guys. Whereas with me, it was just like we were always together all the time. And part of that I think started to weigh on when we stopped going out. It was like, well, we don't do anything together. That's what we do, yeah. We have nothing in common anymore. Then I was thinking with the barstool thing, I almost liked for the longest time that she wasn't like into barstool and then when things crashed and burned i was like you know barstool was a huge point of contention

that i i see the difference between not being into it and actively dislike yes well and that's why i don't know where where my head's at on all these things because like i see other uh barstool relationships where like the wives and girlfriends are totally into it and i think it actually like i used to think like i don't want a girl who's like a stoolie but then i see some of the support around here i'm like we would have we would have made it if it had been like that so i think it's well i think it's a very case by job i have jobs different than hobbies too like i i do i do think it gets it has to weigh on you if it's genuine if it's real If you meet someone Who dirt bikes And it's like Well that's where we met

Fine When your chick is picking up Dirt biking Picking up fishing Picking up like football And Bud Light Like no You're just becoming a dude

Now like come on Anybody who just mimics Anything you do Even if it's out of You know she's probably like I want to like support my husband Or I want to like Like the things

I want to spend time with him It's probably all like good natured Or actually knowing these hoes Is probably not She's probably like I'm'm gonna watch him the whole time they're not gonna be any of these bitches around here I'm not gonna get any of these oxy sluts in the forest but even if it is good intentioned it's only natural that you'd eventually be like fucking cut it out yeah like go go go have a baby shower do whatever the fuck you guys do but I mean like couples are like I thought it's so weird like, I know two couples that come to mind.

One, like, they barely are dating. Where it's just, like, they don't do anything together. They both have their own things and hang out with their own friends and all that shit. Love each other, though. And that works. And they're together. It's awesome. Right.

I have another couple of friends who, like, are, this couple, they're actually married now. But, like, they're inseparable. And they're awesome they're like my favorite people to fucking hang out with they're always together but like they just love doing everything together

so I guess it's just like well so how long I don't know I think like the thing that happened with me was like we both

like started getting like so hung over and not into partying and then we had kids I think if you're like the fun couple and you do everything together and you stay the fun couple right you could probably party until you're 60.

And you're the bell of the ball. You're the fucking center of the party. If you have the kids and you slow down, though, and all of a sudden it's like, wait a minute. Our foundation is a house of cards built on drinking and partying. And now it's no longer around. I think that can become a problem. I made the executive decision this weekend that I'm not

doing kids. Was that a one-party decision? Yes, one party involved. Oh, is there? Okay. I was going through Times Square. This weekend, when you were not helping your girlfriend move, was also when you decided you're not going to be having kids.

Okay, good. It was... I was walking through Times time square and just like there's something everyone was so miserable pushing baby car characters it's one of those things like every time i see people with kids i'm like you guys look like you're having fun bet you'd be having more fun if the fucking kid wasn't here I try to remember I do this all the time now I'm going to try to prove you wrong on that

So I'm going to remember when things happen Like the other day there was a really loud noise And Shay told me that it's scaring her ears And that was cute as shit And I was like It doesn't really beat total freedom I used to have on a Sunday. I was going to say, yeah. It was a funny moment.

That is very adorable. Yeah. I think I'm just going to pick up and go to Europe at the end of the month. Yeah, fuck that. Yeah, yeah. You're right. Right. Suck a dick.

I haven't set my schedule, and I just told my girlfriend, I was like, just be on notice. I think I'll probably know a week before we'll just head over. Yeah, it's like, like oh that's cool but like but my kid confuses uh senses and sounds and got you beat there and it is it's like that's actually a newer thing for me like I like I do not want kids definitively like I used to be like like I was like a young person and you know in this stage when guys are usually like fuck kids and I like, I can't wait to have a kid. So I definitely might come back around.

Well, you have to understand, just so you know, you spent the majority of time in the last decade with me, and I don't know if I'm exactly the best ambassador for family life and husband duties and all that stuff. I think you're a pretty good one. I think I'm good. I don't think my coverage and my content is the most balanced portrayal of it.

I don't think I come in being like, today I'm going to be extra positive because I was pretty negative last episode. I'm pretty much just telling you the bad times. So just keep that in mind. Because also, there are no good times. I have no good times to report. There's only bad

i'm not joking next voicemail what's up fellas uh big fan of the program hope to catch one of the live shows when you go on tour if you're uh in my area but calling today to uh ask about a situation. So in my apartment building, a girl moved in a few doors down the hall from me, and she's absolute smoke. Definitely out of my league. But I've been kind of chatting when I see her, trying to do little subtle flirts, work up my confidence to maybe one day I'd be able to ask her out or something like that. But then this past weekend, i was coming home with a different

girl and let's just call this girl a uh a slump buster she definitely was in my finest work and as we're going up the elevator we go in the same elevator as this girl on my floor and i'm just shook i i think it's it's done for me now. I can't recover from this, right? You guys ever had a situation like this? Have any advice for me or whatever? I'll hang up and listen. I mean, we're going to have to go ahead here

and assume that this slump buster is really just... Let's just assume that she was the girl screaming at me in the street. She's just awful, right? Like, she's got to be deplorable. Yeah, slump busters aren't things you... You don't throw that around. I mean, you know, that's the meanest thing you can say about someone.

Do you think that there's ever been a girl out there who's like, I'm a slump buster, that they know it? Like if they're going home with a guy who's like, good looking, tall, like head of hair, good job, and she's just like, I don't know. Is a slump buster a thing? But that also, I mean, if you're in a situation. Are you picking up a girl being like, I haven't fucked in a while. This ugly girl will help me get hot girls in the future?

No, I think that – I don't think it's that far thought out. I think it's just like I got to get my beak wet. I haven't in a while. Yeah, I guess that. But the thing is that the guy usually doing that isn't going to be a catch. So it's like, guess what, bro? You might be busting her slump. You guys are both fucking lame. But I will say, I do think if a girl sees you with a gross chick, that her mind's made up about you.

Yeah, definitely. That's it. But it's a good thing, too. Don't fuck girls in your fucking apartment. Oh, in your apartment? Yeah. I mean, that's either, you know what it is? If you fuck someone in your apartment, it's probably the best thing in the world for, like, ten days.

If that. Honestly, like, for ten minutes. Some people like sex, John. You have to remember that. So, like, a couple weeks where, you know, you strike out at the bar, but she's there home waiting for you. Or, like, you know, you want to stay in, and she comes down, and, like, she sucks your dick. It's great. Whatever.

But then, like, the first sign of trouble, it's like – I mean, it's great whatever but then like the first sign of trouble it's like i mean it's just don't shit where you eat man i used to go with a girl who lived on my block and it was still like and that's bad they were just like days like i just didn't want to do anything so i just like literally like stake out going to my apartment make sure she's like all right i think we're good right across the street yeah you're up against the wall like sliding in my apartment so i can be able to get in bed and lie and say, like, I'm not home or something like that. It's a pain in the ass. If you're in a fucking building, fuck that.

Just keep fucking ugly girls. By the way, speaking of... An ugly girl who doesn't live with you is much better. Who doesn't live in the same building is much better than a hot girl who lives in the same building. That's the old proverb, like a bird in the hand. Right. The ugly girl who doesn't live with you far exceeds the hot girl who does. Put that on the fucking news.

Speaking of sneaking around, I just got to throw out my co-sign for The Spy on Netflix. Sasha Baron Cohen doing like a serious role. He's an Israeli spy going into Syria. It's the perfect show. It's a six-part limited series. Do you know how great of a commitment that is? Like you're not committed. Well, actually, it's probably short for people like you.

It's perfect for people like me. Like when I have to dig into something that's like multiple seasons or even like 10 episodes a season, it's a lot. But I can bang out six. And I did five out of six yesterday. No Jets. Jets bye week. Best week of the year for me. I didn't want of six yesterday. No Jets. Jets bye week. Best week of the year for me.

I didn't want to watch football. What a line. I mean, boy, Sam Arnold. What did you say? I didn't even see. My spleen's going to do what my spleen's going to do. Oh, yeah. I mean, he's not wrong.

He's not wrong. You know, it's like everything else. Like your arm, you can train. And your brain, you can, you know, study. But like your spleen's your spleen, bro. But like also if it's hurt. Like it's like you have a broken arm. And you're like, your spleen's a spleen, bro. But like, also if it's hurt. Like, it's like, you have a broken arm

and you're like, my arm's gonna do what my arm's gonna do. Well, no, you can fix it, man. But I don't know if you can, can you fix your spleen? Yeah, well, the swelling,

when you have mono, the spleen's so swollen it's easy to burst, so like, you would just have to wait for the swelling to go down. But bro,

my spleen's gonna do what my spleen's gonna do. But I did that shit, so no big deal. I got I played baseball with it Whatever Anyway

The spy though Spy's super entertaining And then gets really Like also good on top of it And Big Fire Next up I wanna watch it I'm excited too

Okay Last voicemail of the day Is brought to you by ExpressVPN You wanna be able to watch every single NFL game this season, no matter where you live or what team you root for? There's a proven way to watch every NFL game this season for a fraction of the price of DirecTV or NFL Sunday Ticket.

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What up? Big fan. So I was just in the middle of a wake and bake shower, and I had this fucking idea because I was listening to the podcast. And you were talking about aliens and shit. And I'm thinking, like, what if the aliens sent Trump to fuck with us because we were close to something and they realized that humanity is such a fucking plague, bro, that we need to be quelled to Earth and we're not allowed to space travel. Like, what if aliens are behind all this, bro? Anyway, that's it. Viva.

Listen, we talked about Hillary. Hillary was on the verge of doing something that the aliens wouldn't have liked. Yeah, so it wasn't Putin all along? Or maybe it's Putin and Putin's down with the aliens. He kind of looks like an alien. Yeah, definitely. I mean,

listen, what makes more sense? Like, that being alien influence or like the fact that donald trump just became the leader of the free world i mean the logic dictates that like that makes a lot more sense it's kind of one of those things like when someone calls up and they're like hey did you know six and six is 12? Yeah. Cool. Yeah. I mean, I just get that. What else do I add to just a factual argument? Like, because think about it.

Regular politicians have been doing politician type shit forever. And the government has been the same kind of shit forever. And the aliens are the ones who have been sitting around studying them being like, that's not what these people care about. Like, they fucking they're racist and they're fat and they like guns and football like let's just have let's just have a guy talk about those things and then we'll be able to control this whole goddamn thing like did you see that there's that one dude who doesn't stand up when they play that song yeah let's have this guy go out there and yell about that all right they they played a clip somebody was using it um just like as a joke.

Talking about Vontaze Perfect. They played the clip of him going, that son of a bitch, get him off the field. And that's what he was talking about, Colin Kaepernick. And the crowd went fucking wild. That's when he either won the presidency or became, you know what I mean? At that point, he already was. That's when it was like,

I'm going to do whatever the fuck I want. Because everyone was just like, yeah! The aliens are sitting back going, they ain't catching us anytime soon. Motherfuckers. All right. That's it for us. French Montana up next. Like I said, stick around for the Tekashi69 talk.

But also, French Montana talking about winning a bowling charity event with Chris Paul. Find out which athlete, big name, fancied himself a damn near professional bowler and almost asked French Montana to throw the event because he didn't want to lose. We'll clickbait for you there. Check it out. We'll see you guys next Thursday.

Alright, it's KFC Radio with French Montana in the building. A new song out tomorrow featuring Cardi B, Post Malone, about to be another smash. Tonight. Tonight. Tonight. Tonight.

About to be another smash on the record, so that's pretty cool, man. Excited? Yeah, been working real hard on it, man. You know, it feels good to finally see your hard work come together. What's working hard with Post Malone like? Can Post Malone run your show? Can you keep up with Post Malone? Is he just smashing Bud Light's whole time?

Man, let me tell you something. He got his own Bud Light with his face on it. When I saw him just now at his show in Vegas, I just started laughing. I was like, you know what? Nobody else could do this better than you. I usually go in the studio and I see him just making like a whole empire. Just a whole empire. Yeah, man.

What are you drinking backstage? He's definitely a rock star. What's your drink of choice? Me? Man, Ciroc, French vanilla Ciroc. Then, you know, because I made it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So I just took all the ingredients that I used to drink in different liquors and put them together.

And we won the best tasting vodka in the world, like, you know, last year or the year before. No big deal. It's not too bad, dude. Yeah, you know. Not too bad. But now, I've been, you know, I don't, you know, discriminate nobody else, but I've been on 1942 lately. Yeah. So I keep my six-pack together.

So you came up in an interesting way. Started out with battle rap, right? Mm-hmm. What kind of battle rapper were you? It seems now like you're kind of like a easy-going guy. It doesn't seem like battle rap's pretty fucking intense.

But I don't think battle rap has to do with you being a tough guy. I don't like that. You just got to have your raps together. Yeah. Well, we used to go to this place called Fight Club. Shout out to International P. Shout out to Eli. Shout out to everybody.

We used to be in this one floor. They turned a pool table to like a stage kind of. So it was like one would stand on the other side and somebody else would stand over here. Just because, you know, it's like they don't want no altercations. Yeah, yeah. Smart. So we just started battling. So he would have his people, I would have my people.

And like, you know, how much money you got? $10,000 here, $ 20,000 here, boom. And it's like sometimes, you know, if it's like 20,000 coming up, if you look like you losing, one of your friends might just like punch one of them. People in the face and just like. I believe you, a lot on the line.

Yeah, nah, it's crazy. But that's what we got rhymes together. And I feel like, you know, things like that is what made us who we are today. I call it gladiator school, you know, especially back then, especially coming from the Bronx, the Mecca. The Mecca means like you're playing for Chicago when Michael Jordan was playing. And that's what it is. You just mentioned the Bronx.

You just donated $50,000 to Bronx International for a coding program, right? Yeah, definitely. Now, let's say we gave you the keys to our high school curriculum. What are the three most important things you've got to learn in high school? It doesn't have to be social studies. What should they teach in high school? What are the three most important things you've got to learn in high school? Number one thing, math.

Math? Yeah. Fuck math, man. You got to count your money. You got to count your money. You got to count your iPhone. When was the last time you did math, Frank Fontaine? No, I'm just saying, math does not have to do nothing with a calculator.

Math is, you know how much money you're making. You have to learn it. So sometimes when you're having a conversation with somebody you already calculated every number as they speaking to you already know how much you're making down to the decimals you know what i'm saying you gotta know like five dollars per dvd ten thousand dvds so that class is the most important class. Okay. Trust me. He knows. Look, I didn't learn any math. Look at me. I got a podcast.

Look at me. I'm a huge success. I have a podcast a couple of people listen to. And the second class is gym class if you have a girl as a teacher.

No. Dude, I had a girl as a teacher. I don't think she was into me. Smart man. Smart man. Smart man. That's definitely the second one. The third one would be, you know, history, so you can know where you're at.

Smart man. And you can rewrite history. Okay. Is gym class where you got those bowling skills, dude? You took home that title a few years ago. Wow. That was a real crazy night. I bet.

Can you just imagine being all the champions? I mean, you were playing against top athletes, right? I played against the top. Yeah. And I won the whole thing. I can't believe it. Do you know what you rolled that day? What the score was?

I don't remember the score, but I remember one thing. I remember one of the Terrell Owens. I just remember somebody that had, like, 20 bowling balls with their names on it. Like, stitched on it. I'm looking at them like, damn, you just lost to me? Let me tell you something. If you show up to any bowling event with your own ball, a bunch of them, you better fucking win. You better fuck it.

You know, like, you can't go losing. I know it was heavy, so I'm like, damn. So, I remember shot the CP. He came up to me. He was like, yo, I know you don't really do this, but can you let him go? Because he's, like, really upset. Yeah. I'm like, what you mean?

I'm about to win this whole thing. So, wait, he asked you to, like, throw it or just like to let him go? Because he's like really upset. Yeah. I'm what you mean. I'm about to win this whole thing. So wait, he asked you to like throw it or just like let him go first? No, let Terrell Owens go. Got to step on the fucking throat there, man. That's one of the most embarrassing things Terrell Owens has ever done in his life. I mean, they play every day. That was my first time playing. You know, we got to set you up.

First time. You get out of town. First time ever? No, not first time.. You know, we got to set you up. First time bowling? Wait, that was your get out of town. First time ever? No. No, not first time. Right, right. Third time. Right.

Your third time ever playing bowling? That's fucking hilarious. I'll tell you what. I'm a Red Sox fan. We got to set you up with Mookie Betts. Mookie Betts can roll. And you know what's so crazy about it? It happened right before the Super Bowl.

Before, what Super Bowl was that? I think it was 2015. 2015? I'm just trying to figure if it's me. I mean, I'm not saying you Google it. I'm just trying to figure out

if my patrons want it. Google it though because I ain't even know because, you know, I'm not, I mean, I love football

but I'm not really like somebody's going to watch the whole game because, you know, because football fans, they're real like, you know,

yeah. They're psychos. Yeah, yeah, they're real brutal. They'll fucking stab you in the parking lot real quick. Yeah. But I was, you know. They're psychos. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They'll fucking stab you in the parking lot real quick. But I was, you know, basketball was my thing, you know.

So when I went there, I thought I was going there to support CP. So I'm like, I'm playing? I swear to God, that's how it went down. I'm playing? All right, cool. Let me suit up. Boom. And shout out to my partner.

I forgot his name. If you're out there listening, much love to you because you helped too. But he just kept on hitting me like, you could do it. I just had like this one little thing I was doing and it just kept on working. And I swear to God. It was so funny, man. Everyone else is stepping up like bowling perfect. He was just like, yoink.

And then he just kept knocking that shit down. That's the French Montana twist. You want to be a bowler. Fuck, damn. You know, it came from when people talk crazy to you, you hit them with the. So I just had, you know what I'm saying, the vibe. I'm like. I just reversed it on the floor.

No, but I swear to God, that was like one of the moments in my life that I was like, man, if you really just, you know what I'm saying, have something going for you, keep doing it. Yeah. You could do anything. You could sign with Diddy, a record dealer. You could win a bowling game. I never did it again. I would never play again.

Ever. Did he invite you back? I left as a champion. Fuck that, I'm out. I left as a champion. Hell yeah. I would never bowl again. He tried to invite me to protect my title.

I said, no, you protect it. And put my face up there. Imagine I lose first round. Nah, bro. Yeah, yeah. If I ever see you touch a bowling ball again, you're an idiot. You should be like, that's how I roll. I played a lot of people, and I still got it.

You still play? Yeah. I played a rapper in Miami, 150,000. Not too long ago. What rapper? I can't tell you. Come on. It's Gamblin'. Wait, Gamblin'? Dude, we talk about Gamblin' here all the time. Nah, but...

It's legal now. If we learn one thing right now, man. If we learn one thing, you can't name names right now. If we learn one thing right now, man. If we learn one thing, we can't name names right now. If we was in Vegas, if we was on a CP tournament, then it was like, you know. A little different. Yeah, a little different. Vogue had a headline that said,

Spending 24 hours with French Montana is a master class in, what was it? Come on, you remember it. Living your best life. Living your best life. 24 hours. What would that be? Can you give us a little crash course? I'm one of them people that look at the cup halfway full and not halfway empty.

I feel like a lot of people go with their life just thinking about all the negative vibes. When you come and see me, I'm just like, man, what are we doing tonight? Strip club? What do you want to do? No, but you're rich. So it's easy to do that now. If you're asking me tonight, yeah, what are we doing tonight? Strip club? What do you want to do? No, but you're rich. So it's easy to do that now.

If you're asking me tonight, yeah, let's do it. No, but I'm saying I met a lot of people that was happier than me. And they was rich in the heart. They didn't have no money. So I took both experiences and put them together. And I felt like that's why people love being around me from puff to everybody. You know what I'm saying? I don't complain.

I never talk about nobody. Unless it's somebody that, you know. Deserves it. Yeah. Somebody that gets his ass kicked. Excuse me. No, you can say whatever you want, man. Yeah.

What do you think it was that, like, was there a moment or something you did specifically that made Puff want to sign you? Like, was it your raps plus a meeting plus a time, you know, something like that? I just think that me and Puff, you know, he's a Scorpio like me. Do you believe in all that? I really don't because... He can't even say that! No, I really don't because if you really do your mathematics and all that stuff, it's like, you know, everything shifted,

so it's not even the same. You know, that's a whole different conversation. But I just feel like me and him got the same spirit. You know, we want to have fun. We want to stay happy, especially at the, you know, what he got going on right now and what I got going on. You always want to be around somebody that's going to make you laugh and what you know I'm saying I inspire you to be happy and this and that that's all that matter all that like all that money all that all them plaques you got on the

wall to get dusted you know I'm saying so all that don't mean that like all this you leave it for literally just – This actually doesn't mean anything. This is actual trash. I mean, like, this is legitimate garbage. This is just an empty beer bottle, dude. We're going to throw that in the garbage later. Don't worry, man. But why do you have to put a tie back on it? Make it look full.

What's that? Why do you put a tie back on it? Make it look full? Oh, the tie – I mean, it is – I don't know if you ever watched Breaking Bad, but it's a beer from Breaking Bad. So you know what? This guy came through and actually donated it after we did the interview. So if you want to leave your chain or your watch, you can do that, too, you know? I need to know, can you teach me how to do the proper, where does it come from? The stomach, the throat, the mouth?

It comes from the heart? It comes from when you're in the middle of the club and somebody's trying to have a full conversation with you. Okay. I can envision that. That's the perfect way to describe it. That's fucking fantastic. Dude, French, you are a magician, man.

I never really, like, that's such a beautiful way to describe it. That's amazing. I'm always that guy. I'm like, huh? Sometimes I'll be performing and somebody having a full conversation with me from the crowd. And I have no choice but to look down. They're like, yeah, so back. I'll be like, huh?

You know what I'm saying? So that's where it comes from. It comes from the middle of the club, the middle of the dance floor. I feel like there's been a few people throughout rap history who have kind of done it. I remember the Yin Yang Twins kind of had their version. Kanye has theirs. But theirs was different. Yeah, so how would you differentiate that?

I told you where mine was coming from. I don't know where theirs is coming from. I like that. Do you lose your bar hearing from performing so much and shit like that? Can you hear in a club? I can't hear shit. I mean, somebody should have a conversation with you, a suicide. Yeah.

Because they got, you know, they're right here, just spinning all over, you know what I'm saying? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, Kanye had it too, you know? Yeah, yeah, he had it, but I feel like they're all different. They all got a little something different to them. Obviously right now in the rap game, there's some drama going on. People talking in

court and whatnot. I believe he most recently said he's not going to go into witness protection. He's going to continue rapping and just have security 24-7. You would never be in this situation, but what would French Montana do if he was involved in something like this? Oh, man.

You see your boy? He goes like this. Hit him with the bowling. Hit him with the bowling. And we'll leave it at that. We'll leave it at that. The new song is out. No, I mean, honestly, man, there's a lot of,

the sad part about it is that there's a lot of artists that's under the same kind of, you know, same kind of thing going on right now. And I feel like, you know know when you get into this life man like you gotta know what you're dealing with and one thing I want to say about that is a lot of people is not getting the right respect

like let's give it up to Bobby Shmurda to Rowdy he took more time for his brother you know let's give it up for people that come from the same cloth let's give it up to people that really like you know

the thing that get me mad is that you got so many people that live for the code but then you just come and make it look like you know what I'm saying like it's crazy so you know Free Bobby Shmurda. You got my best friend doing 75 years. Then he could have got 10 years.

You know, you got another one of my best friends doing football numbers. They could have got, you know, volleyball numbers. And then that's what's happening right now. I feel like he's doing something that we never lived by. The only reason why I'm mad at it is because there's so many people that I love that

live by the code. When they die, the jailers still going to own their coffin. It's a sad thing for me. See, my people was going down for that. It is what it's a sad thing for me. You know what I'm saying? See, my people was going down for that, and you just like, it is what it is. Let me get out.

I mean, I don't think it's going to go too well for him in the end. Yeah, yeah, of course. All right, so the new song is out tonight. Ready on the wall, Cardi, Post. I mean, that's going to be a fucking smash. Definitely. Much continued success. Shout out to Cardi B, South Bronx Queen. Shout out to Post Malone,

the Utah King. The Bud Light King, man. He's a real rock star, man. I love him. Shout out to Dre London. Shout out to Austin, his management. We used to be right over here

in New York, 46th Street, before I even met up with him. So the relationship has been deep, and especially with Cardi B. Cardi B, I was like the first celebrity she ever met. No shit. Yeah, so, you know, it's a beautiful thing.

You know, when God got some stars lined together for you, it just happened. It's going to be a dope song. Thanks a lot, bro. Appreciate it. Thank you so much. Appreciate it. Turn around. Look a lot, bro. Appreciate it. Thank you so much. Appreciate it. Turn around

and look at what you see in her face. The mirror of your dream Make believe I'm everywhere Give it in the light Written on the pages I'm everywhere, giving in the light. Written on the pages is the answer to a never-ending story.

Reach the stars, fly a fantasy dream and what you see will be rise again there's a great dream a boat behind the clouds and there upon a rainbow is the answer to a never-ending story.

Story.