KFC Radio - Barbie Movie Battle of the Sexes Ft. Caroline and Brittany Schmitt

Episode Date: July 25, 2023

Timecodes: 0:00 Start 03:12 Dave Portnoy Looks Ridiculous next to The Rock 08:18 Jersey Jerry's Movie Theatre experience 18:06 Michael Angelo and #hotelgate 22:49 Oppenheimer Review (ft. Steven Cheah 33:41 It must be a nightmare to know things 42:58 Barbie Review 01:03:43 Feits is concerned he is involved in child labor 01:12:32 Caroline and Madeline come to counter their Barbie take 01:49:09 Video Voicemails 02:03:05 Brittany Schmitt Interview Preview Pirate Water: Go to drink piratewater.com to find pirate water in a location near you or order on gopuff Gametime: Download the Gametime app or go to https://gametime.co, enter your email, and redeem code KFC for $20 off your first purchase (terms apply). Factor: Head to https://FACTORMEALS.com/kfc50 and use code kfc50 to get 50% off.You can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/kfcr

Hey, KFC Radio listeners, you can find every episode of KFC Radio on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. That's what Barbie, like, the thoughts that they put in. Like, it's so embarrassing because I get emotional about Barbie. It's so good. Like, and I'm obviously, like, not really upset with you guys, but, like, this is so embarrassing, KFC. No, it's not. No, it's so good. I do get that.

But, like, how you feel about, like, you're talking about the Joker, like, oh, you have, like, these dark thoughts. You can relate to them. Like, that's how Barbie, like you're talking about the Joker, like, oh, you have these dark thoughts. You can relate to them. That's how Barbie, like Barbie's changing the world. It's another edition of KFC Radio on the Barstool Sports Network. We are doing something right now that I think we've probably done maybe like five times our entire career. First of all, recording in the 10 a.m hour yeah okay that's super rare and right now it is just john and i in the studio i don't know how many times that's ever happened i i would guess

there there was like very are you saying under five yeah i think it's probably yeah i think there was a couple times in the old office I knew how to set up the file. And if we needed to go, I could set up the recording and press record. And then we would just go and I would press stop. And then the guys would handle it from there for whatever reason if someone couldn't be in there to record with us. But since the very beginning, it's either been Brendan or nick or it's just now jackie pavs somebody along the way yeah has always at least been in the room or watching acknowledging it has made it weird now i'm like my eyes are being pulled over there there's nothing there's nothing over there there's

nothing to look at and also every now and then the guys will go like, oh, wait, wait, hang on, hang on. Like the levels aren't, you know? Yeah, it's not going to happen. It could. We could be. So right now, this is just the fellas. We can say whatever we want here. Not like we ever censor ourselves, but it's just us, John. It's just us.

We've got a Shot Clock episode going today. We've got a lot to get into, and we have two more interviews and the rundown today. So this is an old-school Barstool day. We've got a lot of shit to do. So we are going to only talk about each topic for a couple minutes. A couple minutes. A couple minutes. We have a clock that started.

We have a minute left. I guess this is the first time. This is the opening, but we're – And it's going to keep going? Yeah. We have one of 24. Oh! The next one is going to – yeah. Bro, this is going to – that's like – I mean, we're ahead of time. We guess this is the first time. This is the opening. And it's going to keep going? Yeah. We have one of 24. Oh! Bro, this is good.

That's like, I mean, we're ahead of time. We're going to kill 50 seconds. I mean, this episode is fucking cake. We have 47 more seconds into our opener to go. So I'll lay out the rundown here. We're going to do our Barstool Twitter weekend roundup, which is our new thing that we're going to do every, for the Tuesday episode. We're going to round up what happened to your favorite Barstool Twitter weekend roundup, which is our new thing that we're going to do every for the Tuesday episode.

We're going to round up what happened to your favorite Barstool personalities over the weekend and all the dumb things they said on social media. We're going to run through the Barbie and Oppenheimer just cultural takeover that's going on right now. We'll hit up some viral things going on on social media like mean girl type responses where we gotta you know should you do this or should you do that and uh and then john told me he's got himself in a predicament that he is uh i think pretty nervous about if i had to say i don't even know if i'm gonna put it out i might cut it well here we go on to the next topic perfect timing five minutes on the clock barstool weekend roundup this happened happened, I think, on Friday. Yeah.

Maybe even Thursday night. It feels so long ago. I think it was Friday night. Because I was like, let's get in the fucking studio right now and talk about it. One of my favorite moments ever. Dave Portnoy tweets this out. Somebody was in the liquor store, saw a picture of him with his cardboard cutout of Dave Portnoy holding High Noon, and they put right next to it a cutout of Dave Portnoy holding high noon and they put right next to it

a cutout of Dwayne the Rock Johnson holding Terra Mana towering over Dave just just completely overshadowing him Dave tweeted it out being like oh no this is not good no Dave Dave the worst thing ever happened or whatever the whole thing is so perky. The picture is hysterical. It looks like they millmoored him on that billboard. They made him – the angle or something made him shorter than he is, and he's holding it under his arms like a goofball. Dave just going, this is a goddamn disaster. A goddamn disaster.

That's what the tweet was. So true. I could tell you everything about that tweet because I've gone back to look at it 50 times 100 please if you're if you're go watch the youtube because you gotta see the visual or check out uh case your radio on instagram or twitter to see the picture but for the people listening paint the picture it is well i mean you just did it there's there's nothing more to it it's just it's just dave looking so handsome though he's got like his his like button up like the knit pull up out yeah the rock looks it's also like dave is in standard definition and the rocks in hd like i i'll be honest i'm stupid but i zoomed in i was like is that actually the rock

no it did it did feel like it was a better cardboard cut yeah like which is like yeah even the rocks cardboard is better than you it was bro i can't i Bro, I paused the movie. I was watching a movie Friday night. I paused the movie. I was laughing so hard. So hard. And I just kept fucking looking at it. And then I was like, I'm going to quote to you. And I was like, now Dave might get mad.

Like, I'm piling on. And I was like, never mind. And then I was like, I got to quote to you. It was so. You got to. It was so. Bro, I was in tears for 20 minutes. Dude, the king of spin just going, oh, this is a goddamn disaster.

Like, anybody else, he'd be like, oh, why did you send me that picture? Bradley Cooper clearly outshines whoever. He would have had something to say about why he's better than the other guy. He looks like a little kid carrying his bag. His lunchbox. Here's my high news, guys. I brought my high news to the party. His shoulders are so – because he admittedly doesn't have shoulders,

but his shoulders are up to here. Yeah, for some reason he's like this. And then the way the billboard is angled, it looks like he's like a midget. He's like three feet tall. It truly reminds me of those Millmore – there was the one particular Millmore one where he makes him like just short enough where you're like, is that real? Sometimes you knew, but there was a really good job where it was like, I think, is Dave really actually 5'4"?

And he looked like that. And then there's The Rock, chin out, chest out, Terramana. It looks like The Rock is a professional athlete, college athlete who's visiting the local middle school and is going to sit with the little nerd who's always bullied yes and he's like come on get your lunch and i'll come sit with you don't worry i'll carry my stuff don't worry come on buddy come on buddy look i'll sit with you just a just a brutal draw like if if you if you made a list of like the five people you don't want to be on a billboard next to a a cardboard cutout next to, The Rock is right up there. You know, like, I mean, it is just, like, Dave is edgier than a lot of people.

Like, he could have been like, oh, you like that pretty boy? Like, fuck that guy. Timothy Chalamet. I don't know. Whoever. Like, I'm cooler than him. I'm funnier than him. Whatever.

Like, The Rock's got you beat every which way, every single angle. And, you know, he's got his billion dollar te way, every single angle, and he's got his billion-dollar tequila. It's like, okay. Thanks, local fucking Connecticut liquor store. You couldn't hook your boy up? I've gone back. I don't know. Let's say my tweet has a couple hundred thousand views.

I'm a couple hundred thousand. I'll be looking at Twitter, and I'll be like, oh, it's X now. Okay. And I'll just get sick of reading those tweets. I'll go, I'm going to go stare at that tweet. And then I just, I just, it's all I do on my phone is just stare at that tweet. If you had to pick one barstool, like one thing from barstool, it's a little abstract, but I think it's that.

Like those moments where like a picture of one of us comes out or one of us does a thing like i remember dave being like i was hearing whispers in the hallway that kfc drives a fiat now and then we made fun of that picture and like or like when a picture when a fat picture of dan came out or a nose picture of dave comes out and when it's your turn in the blender it really in the beginning it sucks eventually you learn to love it and have fun with it but I think if like if there's one thing that I want to live on with Barstool forever no matter what happens it's those little things where it's like even when he when he quote tweeted his c-cup titties the other day yeah yeah that was he was a man of honor that was like yeah man that picture was he calls like old Davey boobs I look in the mirror I'm good I – He calls them like old Davey boobs or something like that. I look in the mirror.

I'm good. I take a picture. I'm old Davey boobs. Okay, next topic. We got to keep it moving. We're already 10 seconds late. Stephen Che. No, no, we'll do that at the end so we can wrap it into Barbie and Oppenheimer.

Speaking of Barbie and Oppenheimer, though, jerry went to the movies for what feels like the first time ever in his life did he i'm assuming he saw one of the big two no what an idiot i was at the sound of freedom okay so that's the other one yeah i was at the movies looking like the other movies out i was like this sucks for you guys but they're mission impossible indiana jones there's a couple big ones then there's a couple just like uh uh insidious is out and it's like no no seeing you but also i think insidious won last weekend no i think it i think without i think there was one i could be wrong that's probably true those are big but then you know then it's over yeah i think there was you gave yourself if i'm right there was a weekend between no i don't think there was a weekend

between mission impossible and was there i don't know whatever if there was a weekend between – no, I don't think there was a weekend between Mission Impossible and – was there? I don't know. Whatever. If there was Insidious won that weekend. What did you say? Oh, Sound of Freedom. Okay. And that is the most – we could probably have a little segment on that real quick.

I don't know if movie theaters fuck up a lot. Like your Oppenheimer fucked up. Yeah. But that compilation of all the weird things happening at Sound of Freedom screenings is kind of weird. But there were, like, three, right? I saw one. The theater was empty. That's because.

I feel like I saw a pretty rapid fire. There was the guy spraying the fucking, like, Clorox. There was the one guy coming out saying the air conditioner was broken. There was the one couple that said, like, there was no sound. There was one. How about this? Also, that's three. Well that but i mean that was like it kept going those are just like the ones i remember it's it's i i bet you could do that i mean you know who the biggest victims in the world are now right wing people where that's right it is let's go with

this it's crazy it's like tommy laron let's go. Let's make money, John. You have a crazy popular movie. Sometimes you can maybe get a three-minute compilation. Oh, I thought you meant the other way around. I thought you were on their side. No, no. Quiet, quiet, quiet. We got money, John. It's crazy.

They're like, this movie's been on the shelf. People didn't want to be able to see it. It was Fox's movie. It was a 21st century movie in 2020. COVID happened. They put it on the back shelf. It's out three years later. That happens to movies all the fucking time.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. The only thing I will say, there was one person that said they got up and left because the movie had subtitles on, which, first of all, a crazy reason to leave the movie. Second of all, let's go. Subtitles in the movie theater. Yeah, AMc does that oh uh they recently started offering it yeah no like it would be like a subtitle screen i actually haven't seen it available but i saw the announcement you really are cut your legs because there are still a bunch of uncultured swine out there who don't do i think in the theater

i'd like no no bro i'm telling you during oppenheimer there was definitely times where i was like i didn't really pick up on what they were saying. Oh, yeah, me too. I left. You had an audio problem. Yeah. But I didn't. And there were times where it was like if they were showing, at times they were showing like the universe and then Oppenheimer was speaking.

And I was like, oh, wait, what did he say there? So I guess I got to give a little point to the non-subtitle uncultured swine. You do keep your ears sharp yeah you're not reading but just come to the good side and we can just put the words out all the time and you'll remember everything and learn everything better uh but if that's it i'm going to that every fucking time yeah to leave the movies to pay money and you wait online oh i got something about that we're all over the place with the shot clock anyway back to jerry what did he see jerry he saw sound of freedom what did he which I really want to see, by the way. I haven't seen it yet, but I do want to see it.

I'm sure it's a pretty decent action movie that's getting propped up. So I'm sure it's a movie I love. I was told it was a documentary. No. I was told it was a documentary on child trafficking. It's a movie that's based on a true story that is not true. Like, all based on true stories. I have to have a conversation.

But Jerry had a tweet that was about... Jerry's one of those funny ones where I can't tell if he's in the bit or not. Real quick. Because I was like, why is this movie like... It shouldn't be politicized if there's an action movie about a hero saving a child traffic a kid that was yeah and then it's also like based on a true story that i hear is like like how could anyone be against that and then i was told like no no it's a documentary where they're really like digging into like who and what and like who am i and i was like oh like

all right that makes a little more sense it's's a fucking just action movie. It's an action movie. And there are people claiming, like, conspiracy shit. It's all QAnon. The star is a QAnon guy. It's Jim Cavizio, whatever, the guy who played – Right. And then, like, I guess they – the conspiracy theories come from, like – I thought it was – but my thought was – I knew it was a QAnon guy, but, like, okay, yes. If a QAnon guy makes a movie, you don't want to support that.

But at least he's still making like uh if it's a q anon guy doing a documentary then i feel like this is all crazy bullshit but if it's still just a movie it's like and i think the but and i think it's like from the artist q anon people are being like that is real and then people like it's a movie and then that's what the thing is um but anyway the uh, Jerry had a tweet. Again, I can't tell whether when he's in the bit or if he's not or what. But he was like, he's like, this is crazy. I forgot. I'm going to put words in his mouth.

He's like, this is nuts. Do you want me to find it? I'm at the theater right now. People are dressed up for it. This is like sad. Adults dressed like Barbie stuff. Oh. And.

I mean that. It's a little crazy. Coming from jerry i don't know if i've ever seen jersey jerry in anything but a football jersey i was gonna say he dresses up every day every day of his week like halloween that it is he has to be in the bit on that and what is jersey jerry's sandal i believe it's that jersey jerry you would think that right yeah um but he was like he's like i have to make a video about this this is so sad and i was like it's just a football game only it happens once a year rather than every sunday jerry the kid i mean that is doesn't have once he happens once a every 20 years that is um

jerry's usually not in on on the bit i feel like he's in on that one i feel like he knows what he's doing i gotta make a video about this people with pink all over there all over the place on the bit. I feel like he's in on that one. I feel like he knows what he's doing. I got to make a video about this. People with pink all over the place. Grown adults at that. Barbie shirts everywhere. Little boys dressing like Ken. What the fuck is going on?

That feels real to me. It feels real, but it can't be real. It's real. That's fucking absolutely real. That's absolutely real from a grown adult autograph chaser. Which, by the way, we got a little more color on the on the jersey jerry uh uh driving getting that guy to drive him home from pittsburgh last week the driver was an adult autograph seeker and jerry promised him a kenny pickens autograph so that's why that guy went and he missed his sister's wedding for it to drive Jersey Jerry like an 18 hour round trip all for a Kenny Pickens autograph.

And I don't know if Jerry even got it done. It's crazy. Crazy town. I think this is a very real tweet that he is like, you know, you can't have boys dressed in pink and being like, but Ken's not even in pink, I guess. Maybe sometimes. But like, I wouldn't But Ken's not even in pink, I guess. Maybe. Sometimes. But like, I wouldn't say Ken's a pink guy. I was like, hang on. He has to be... That I'm Ken enough

is that hoodie. I'm Ken enough? Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's a great hoodie. That's awesome. If Mattel wouldn't see NDS immediately, I would sell that shit. Jerry is... This is also coming on the heels of him telling you, I don't like comedy I completely forgot about that until I saw his tweet

about the movies he was so nice and so genuine he was sitting on the run down set and I was walking by and he was like hey fight I saw out of order the other night loved it, it was great, whatever he said and I don't even like comedy I was like who just says

I don't like the genre of laughter Dave is a famous I don't even like comedy. I was like, who just says, like, such a broad – I don't like the genre of laughter. Dave is a famous – I don't like stand-up comedy. He doesn't like stand-up, but Dave likes comedy. Yeah, Dave likes – But I could see Dave not liking sketch shows, too. Oh, for sure. Dave hates that. 100%.

That maybe is what Jerry means, but the way he articulated it or did not articulate it is what's funny. Yeah. Just comedy. I did not – Making people laugh with performance of some type? Nope. Not for me. Don't do it.

I'm my thing, man. It's like you are comedy, Jerry. Everything he does is walking comedy. We are on our second five, so we can move. Yeah. Attention all partiers and ragers. We've created the perfect drink for you. It's Pirate Water.

It's from the creators of Four Loko and Mamitas, the biggest party drink of the last generation, the newest party drink of this generation. Pirate Water has four different flavors, 10% alcohol by volume, and this has been the summer of Pirate Water. If you're on board with us, you know the deal. You know it's only two bucks. You know it's 16 ounces. You know it's 10% alcohol by volume. You know it comes in four great flavors. It's got some sort of magical pirate magic in it that makes you just get a buzz instantly. You only need to drink two or three of them

and the party is set. If you haven't gotten down with Pirate Water yet, it is the summer of Pirate Water. There's still time. Get your party on, whether you're going to the beach, whether you're going to the lake, you go to the pool, go to the bar, hang out at the place, whatever. It's Pirate Water all summer this summer. Get pegged. Party with us.

It's go to drinkpiratewater.com. You can find Pirate Water in a location near you or order it on GoPuff. It's us. It's Brianna. It is a whole bunch of people at Barstool, and it is anybody who likes to party. Get drunk for cheap. That is the name of the motherfucking game people from college kids all the way up to parents have been drinking it this summer so uh if you haven't done it yet get on that go to drinkpiratewater.com or go order it on gopuff

rough weekend for our boy michelangelo who might have caught the nate curse uh just had a couple couple bad run-ins just don't call it that nate will like it too much well i i i would not be around nate i mean nate ruined your movie the other day like the black cloud on nate is true uh but yeah you're right he'll be like yeah i do have my cloud i am human eeyore michelangelo got dumped and got kicked out of his own hotel somehow well he tweeted the video of he got upgraded to a hotel and was like, I just got upgraded to a massive room, like a suite, like a massive room.

For no reason, I invite the entire state of Colorado to my party. Right. The hotel got mad at that. But like, obviously, nobody came. He was joking. Right. It's not like you actually did it. The hotel got mad at that.

He's like, fine, I'm inviting Utah and Nevada too. And then kicked him out of the room. Yo, that is super funny. But also, I got to have a talk with Mike. Letting yourself get – I would chain myself to that hotel before I let them kick me out. That means he willingly packed his bags and left. Under the threat of gunpoint is the only way I would leave that hotel. I mean that is – to me that is – just got a call from the front desk.

Informed the owner – just got a call from the front desk that informed the owner of this room found the tweet and will call the police if I have a party. So this was more of like an Airbnb sort of thing. But he says he got upgraded in the first one. He upgraded to a room in a hotel. Yeah, yeah. He says, yeah, he says large hotel. I mean, maybe you're right. But like, I mean, this is not a hotel room.

This is like, I think it's I think it's because he. Wow. He said he later is the owner of this room. People can own hotel rooms. Maybe. Maybe. Maybe it's like when says he's the owner of this room. People can own hotel rooms? Maybe. Maybe it's like – Like when I come – like I'm a fucking actor and when I come here, I like stay in this. Yeah, they're also like those like duo – like I know my grandfather lives in a hotel.

I mean, yeah, that is – But like they have residence and they have apartments and they have hotels. And then when they're gone, they'll rent out their house? No, but maybe – I don't know. I don't know. So it's some sort of weird. I mean, it's got a full kitchen, an island. It's got like four bedrooms, two bathrooms, jacuzzi.

But here's the weirdest part. You can see outside that window, there's like a house next door. So whatever it is, either Michelangelo worded hotel room wrong or this is just one of those weird. But in his updates, he's like, I'm talking to corporate now. Okay. Just got a call from the front desk that informed the owner of this room, found the tweet, and will call the police if I have a party. What qualifies this as a party?

Why does this hotel have an owner? I need answers. P.S. Nevada and Arizona have now been added to the guest list. I have now been forced out of my room against my will. Phone call with the general manager incoming This was the other thing He was like I'm dangerously close to

Leaking the name of the hotel That would have been the first thing I did This is a guy Who hasn't been through enough internet wars I would have gone through that immediately Imagine being at the airport Being like my flight is delayed I won't say what airline just yet not yet but they better watch out um and then he follows this up with like you know all these tweets about all this shit and he just says

psa i'm single again which i texted him and um let's just say like single mikey is gonna be a force to be reckoned with yeah michael single michelangelo single light single angelo is uh because remember when mike first started here he was you know he was like everybody else who starts here you're nervous and you're scared and you have you have no style and you don't have a personality or anything yet and then you like you you get you get your job you figure your shit out you do well and then all of a sudden you start to like dress how you want to dress and look how you want to look and he grows a beard and i feel like he's just ready to fuck bitches to be honest that was that was the sense i got in my text i was like mike is just gonna smash bitches uh i still would like to know like the final uh final say here though it doesn't look like he that doesn't look like he put out the update the matter was escalated

to corporate i'm waiting an email it's been over 12 hours since i was evicted from the hotel that i paid for by making a joke on twitter and i have not been issued a refund. I mean, to not get your money back is just fucking insane. I just can't imagine ever leaving that hotel. But hey, Mike, I stand with you and fuck whatever hotel chain that was. Last one here, and this ties in nicely to our next segment

because we've got to talk about Barbie and Oppenheimer. Stephen Che, I hate to even do this. I hate to even give this attention because this video is so stupid and this is just Che. Che is too self-aware now. There's no way that this was like a real movie review. Did you watch it?

I did not because I haven't seen Oppenheimer. I mean, I don't think it's really going to spoil it if you want to watch it. I think one of his main complaints was it's not an action movie. Yeah, he was like, I went into it expecting a war action movie. I'm aware it wasn't that, so I don't think there were any spoilers. Yeah, and then, yeah, don't worry. And you're going to like it. I also know what happened in history, so.

All right, coming out of Oppenheimer. Quick thought. It is a sheep in wolf's clothing. I thought it was going to be an action movie all about war. It was for about hour 45-ish. It's never about that. The last hour and 15 minutes is fucking C-SPAN. It is a courtroom case.

Part of it's in black and white. That happens right away. I left 10 minutes earlier. Not what I thought at all. They do time swips with the black and white. You know it's black and white. Dr. Robert Oppenheimer obviously met the atomic bomb. Interesting story around that. I'm not sure it was very well acted.

It was fine. It's just like, come on. Not a ton of character development. He seemed like kind of a dickhead. Also insane. But brilliant. fine it's just like come on not a ton of character development he seemed like kind of a dick also insane but brilliant um the last hour 15 could have done without could have completely cut out and it would have been a much better movie um the fact that we had to listen to this kangaroo court hearing about his character ridiculous terrible made the movie not repeat watchable. You're not going to want to recroch it. It was alright. Also, the trailers,

I love just the theater. We got two previews. I want to see like five, six previews. I actually, that happened to both my, when I was at Bobby and Arpana. I know they did it for Arpana because it's just three hours. So they're like, if you put five, you're there for like four hours if you watch all the trailers. Bobby, I walked in like ten minutes late, and it was start. Like ten minutes after the start time, which the concessions were crazy.

I missed the beginning of both movies because I don't tell you why I missed the beginning of Oppenheimer. And then I missed the beginning of Barbie because Oppenheimer went long. But the movie is called Oppenheimer. It's about Oppenheimer it's about him as like a person it's about him politically it's about him as a scientist and then the last hour of c-span that he's talking about it's like the smear campaign that tore him down and ruined his image if you're telling the story of oppenheimer if your movie is called oppenheimer it's like a crazy integral part of his of his story yeah and it's where robert downey jr like shined it there there's a moment where like it almost i i said

coming out of the movie i didn't know that that there was going to be like a court case element to it but i was like that was awesome when i realized that you also got that part of it dude that those things those like court case parts those flashbacks or whatever they are the deposition like the reason i said that is because like my favorite episode of the office is like the deposition i love it dude uh one of their movies is The Social Network. Mostly a deposition. Dude, wait, you see everybody. A deposition with flashbacks. You watch the whole movie, and they do the flashbacks. That's the black and white, by the way.

It's like when you're in the past, it's black and white, which I actually liked. I thought, I bet there are cinema folks out there who think that that's heavy-handed. Like, we don't need it. You know what I mean? Yeah. I actually liked it. It was like, okay, we're back in time. Okay.

You know what I mean? You got to like meet all the characters and know all the characters and then see them get deposed and you see which ones like ride for them and which ones throw them under the bus and which ones were like brave and which ones caves and all the shit like and robert downey jr was like um and emily blunt was amazing and that like it it's and like the whole story is about like the whole story of the atomic bomb is like we we shouldn't have built it because it you know it's a terrible thing but we had to build it because of the nazis but then the nazis we didn't need to use it on the nazis and the

and like that's what the court case is all about and and that's what the politics is all about like and that's the character development by the way like he he i mean he he captured the perfect killian murphy captured the idea of being like uh oh so smart you like can't live a normal life you know and i just it's like channel you, you got to tip your cap to Che. He's really outside his element. It's like Jersey Jerry going to a movie and seeing people enjoying something other than football. Right. Well, you know what it is?

Here's my theory. I think Che is a little bit jealous. I think Che is jealous that Oppenheimer's autism was like, I'm going to be the smartest guy in the world. And Che's autism was, I understand the football draft. So I think deep down, subconsciously, he just wishes he was a little bit like Dr. Oppie, and he doesn't like that. That's what I think is going on there.

It's just, I mean, I didn't even want to talk about it. I was like, I'm not even going to tweet about this. This is so crazy. It's like, you know, it's like going into Barbie, being like, I thought it was going to be a fucking blah, blah, blah. It's like, you know exactly what it is. barbie being like i thought it was gonna be a fucking you know exactly what it is yeah yeah and that's happening too by the way the people were like on both sides of barbie it's like did you think this was gonna be like it's a stupid silly goofy movie it's well yeah wait so wait yeah we gotta with we gotta talk barbie in my

the reason i haven't seen it uh is I went and the sound sucked. I saw it at an old theater. So what do you mean? It was unlistenable? There were three times. I went with Nate, who made us our own bags of candy for it, which was really cute. He was like, we ate dinner before. Dang!

Jackie was here? Sign would be going up. It was like, he was like here. And it was just in a Ziploc bag. Now, what was it, though? It was It was like He was like here And it was just Like in a Ziploc bag Now what was it though It was Reese's Pieces And Raisinets

It was delicious And I didn't do that Raisinets But okay And He was like I got you this I was like this is crazy But thank you

Did you make like Five of them for everybody No it was just me and him Oh okay I thought you guys Went in like a crew No no no It was just me and him

Very funny And I was like Alright Alright And it was crazy nice It was just like and i'm funny and uh i was like all right all right and it was crazy nice it's just like i was like i've never seen this before um and uh the we get into the theater it's it was it we went to um angelica east i think it's in the east village it's on second and 12th and uh the um i've actually seen one movie there before. I saw Licorice Pizza. And I also couldn't really hear that.

But I thought that was because Licorice Pizza is like an old movie kind of deal. And if you don't know the movie, it's like a theater. It's like a real theater. There's a balcony, and it's beautiful. It's a theater. Yeah. And it's just not – it was in 70 millimeter. But first of all, it started like 15 minutes late just to previews.

Wait, what are we talking about now? Off and on. Off and on. And it was just like – What does 70 millimeter mean? It's supposed to be on IMAX or something? It's what it's shot on like the film. No, I know that.

But like what – so if it's not on IMAX, it looks weird or something? Yeah. Okay. It's like cut. It's like you're not seeing everything that was in it. Got it. Got it. It's like zoomed in I think.

And like it was weird. It was like, first of all, it's like right in the heart of NYU. So like a lot of young people and like friends. It was like we were in like a high school, like with theater, like people like talking across the way. Like, oh, what's up dude? Yeah. And I was like, this is weird. Not the vibe you want for Oppenheimer.

Yeah. And then. I usually am not a stickler for that shit. For Oppenheimer, it's like, shut the fuck up. Right. And then like, and then the previews didn't start for 15 minutes 15 minutes like it's like the lights were just on and people were just talking for 15 minutes which was like kind of ruining the vibe for me and then the previews started i mean they were can you hear these and i and it looked ridiculous it looked like it was on

a projection screen like in class where the teacher would just like put a piece of paper on it and project up yeah and like because it was like a weird angle i was like what the fuck is this and we're like if this is like if it's like this when the movie starts, we're leaving. Yeah, because that is one movie I would go see it in theaters and make sure it's right. Yeah. It would ruin the... And then the movie started and it wasn't like that. It was good.

But then the sound was fucked up. And twice in the first 15 minutes or so, we were like, can you hear this? Meaning like it was muffled? It was like, yeah, it was like garbled. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then the people next to me were like full on talking, like leaning forward, showing each other their phones. And I was like, fuck this. We were both like, let's just get the fuck out of here.

Like this, like it's not the vibe. I thought they stopped. No, no, no. We left. You walked out. Yeah, we left. So I will say this. I'm not usually a big like you need to experience in 3D, IMAX, blah, blah, blah.

I'm like, I can watch this on my couch and I'll'll be happy i think it's funny that your problem was the audio it is the only video it's the only movie in movie history that i will say this about have said this about you have to go to the theater not for the video for the audio yeah the audio of that movie in the theater it makes a difference and you know what sucks now very cool the way they do it being in new york there's one of the i think there are like 20 some odd 70 millimeter imaxes in the world people think they they're going to imax they're not going to like the imax yeah like there's imax theaters apparently that aren't like the the lincoln center one is like there's like 17 of them in the country yeah and one's in lincoln center and now i'm like so that's the bad experience with that i'm like now i have to see it there and that's sold out for that was sold

out all weekend i don't know what it's like tonight i wonder if you could i wonder if people are selling tickets secondary i get a month game time i honestly that wouldn't surprise me if people were like yo i got you know 50 bucks for this ticket, man. Sometimes there's one handicap seat. But that's in the midst of like four. So it's taken by three handicaps. So you're going to be right next to three cappers? I'd have to just go be like, what's up, my cappers? I got a speech impediment.

You can just go in there and ham it up, just act it up. Dude, I actually That leads me to a merch idea I had With Bob Oppenheimer Again, I haven't seen the movie But I've seen plenty of the quotes and reviews And it seems to be becoming a thing Is I am become death And we could make a show that says I am become mentally ill

And really capitalize on that whole thing But what we don't tell everybody is we don't mean depressed that's what everyone's gonna think this shirt means because what everyone talks about we don't mean depressed we mean you can sit in the handicapped people forget mentally ill used to mean something else. Totally. Totally. Totally flipped the connotation of that one. Before we feel like we're about to segue, the other thing is that I turned on the TV yesterday. I have a spectrum.

If you don't live in New York, you turn on TV. It just goes right to the news. So NY1 came on, and I turned the TV on, so I'd fuck around with my phone. So NY1's just kind of sitting on and I hear the anchor talking about big opening weekend. This was last night. Probably for the first time in the history of my life,

I watched a news segment where I knew what they were talking about and let me tell you it must be a nightmare for people because they were so wrong about everything. What were they talking about? It must be a nightmare for people because they were so wrong about everything. What were they talking about? It was everything.

I knew where they got those numbers and those figures, but they weren't right. They were like – it was, I believe, what the anchor said. Huge opening weekend for cinema this weekend. Barbie opened with $70 million. Barbie finished the weekend with $70 million. Oppenheimer finished the weekend with $30 million for the biggest opening weekend in cinema history. And AMC said that 40 million people went to both. So $70 million, the figure they got, that's Thursday.

Barbie did $70 million on Thursday. Did $160 for the weekend. Oppenheimer did $30 million on Thursday. Did about $80 for the weekend. It was the fourth largest in history and 40,000 people went to both. If 40 million people went, you're making more than $70 million.

It doesn't cost $2 to go to the fucking movies. I was like, wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong. Is this what it's like to know things? It was crazy. That's funny, too. Do you think about how many times you just watch those little local things? Like, oh, wow, that happened.

Yeah, like, whoa, 40 million people. Wow, yeah. Yeah, 40 million people went to the fucking movies. A fifth of, like, the country was in the movies last night. It must be a nightmare to know things. Because I watched that. I've told 20 people. Bro, it's like being Oppenheimer.

There's a part where Oppenheimer, likeheimer can't do some shit in his personal life. And he's leaning on a friend for help. And he's like, I'm such a piece of shit. I'm sorry. And he's like, Robert, your brain, dude. It's okay. I don't expect this from you. It's fine.

You're so so you know i i can imagine if you like are thinking about like atoms and wormholes and black hole gravity and shit like that you're probably like i don't care that my apartment is messy right now who cares if this is on the floor who cares what that girl says who cares you know like all that shit so they say and it's one of those things where you kind of you find one thing and you use that to explain your behavior but like a cluttered desk is actually a genius no I'm fucking lazy I don't want to clean it

just don't give a shit Oppenheimer is fucking fire it is a movie that completely lived up to the hype that's why Che is so crazy to say the acting is bad it's like everybody should get an Oscar that's a take I haven't seen from anywhere else it's why Che is so crazy to say the acting is bad. It's like everybody should get an Oscar. Like everybody. That's a take I haven't seen from anywhere else.

It's just not correct. Yeah. I don't want to say take. It's an opinion I haven't seen anywhere else. Yeah. And Christopher Nolan is going to win for this one because it's getting silly that he doesn't have one. And now this is a project worth giving it to.

So he's going to win Best Actor. And he should. Best Director. It's because I hate long movies. It was three hours and I was fine. Like, it could have kept going. Yeah. And they also, they throw, like, 500 scientists at you.

Like, right now I couldn't give you the names of everybody else in the movie. But it doesn't matter. They do it in a way where it's just like, I don't remember what that guy is. But he's, like, on his side. And I can't remember his name, but he's not on his side. So they really like the directing and the telling of the story. They took the most difficult story to tell, scientifically,

historically, entertaining-wise, all that, and they told it well. To me, that means, I don't know exactly what directing and cinematography and blah, blah, blah, all that shit is, but just give it all to Christopher Nolan. Also, that little no CGI thing is getting a little skewed. And now it's bothering me the other way.

There's nothing in that movie that is completely CGI. There is CGI. But something, like, helped certain scenes. But the big scene, the test, is no cgi which is all that matters yeah so he in essence didn't use cgi because now they got the other nerds on the other side going oh these people think there was no cgi and it's like shut the fuck up but it was like such a funny thing because like you know who was one of the biggest users of cgi is david fincher and he's regarded as like the most brilliant. But he also doesn't

even, he doesn't really do act like big things. He uses CGI to recreate 1970s San Francisco in Zodiac. I think people just think of it as action. Building buildings and stuff like that.

My favorite thing with Nolan is that tidbit about in Tenet how buying a plane and driving it through the hangar was cheaper than yeah right but i love is they said why why do you do practical effects instead of special effects and he goes it's more fun and i love that he's like it's just like you're on a green screen it sucks when you're in a movie on a set and we blow up a fucking trailer it's awesome I actually saw I do think CGI is sometimes

and I think this is obvious I don't think I'm like oh I unveiled something like it's used almost more for marketing than it is for the movie itself like in The New Mission Impossible it's not CGI but like that scene is like a half a second scene of him for the movie itself. Like in The New Mission Impossible.

It's not CGI, but that scene is like a half a second scene of him doing the cliff jump. It's very quick. Mike Scott still turns when I think of it, like the free fall. We built that up. It's very, very quick. I don't think it would be a huge thing if he didn't actually do it.

Maybe it would. I don't know. But I think we talked about it for two years there's more marketing than there's anything yeah um i forget why i was saying that would you say uh just that christopher no like why christopher nolan does he says because it was awesome because it's cool oh oh oh but i the best way i saw it like explained to me is there was a tweet and it was like this is why practical effects are better you feel the danger here and it was from the temple of doom it's harrison ford uh with the i don't know one of the guys with the red hats and he's like they're on a boat and it's getting caught in a boat oh yeah the propeller oh

yeah and like that's actually happening yeah you feel the danger yeah and i was like oh yeah i do get close like i really I really and as a viewer you feel much safer when you can tell it's CGI and I was like oh that doesn't make sense even if you can't

see it like on some level it feels real versus not real it's a great scene yeah it's a great scene I haven't seen the other indie yet

I feel bad that that got overshadowed because I'm like a die hard Indiana Jones guy and I feel like I ignored my boy to go see these

other fuckers the last hour and a half or so was really really awesome first half hour is very heavy CGI to where you can really tell

the first half hour feels like a little Polar Express-y oh terrible yeah like he's because Harrison Ford's de-aged

and it's just oh yeah the de-aging is shitty but the that was the thing about Oppenheimer too they did i think they just like did makeup and made people look old you'd really like new indy actually i'm

sure last the last hour and a half in particular like there's they like i don't want to talk to you yeah no that's like next on my list for sure um so oppenheimer like it's an r-rated movie that's about like it's like the biggest r-rated opening i was gonna say i think it did you know whatever you said it got like 100 million dollars for an R-rated movie that's about like science. It's like the biggest R-rated opening ever. I was going to say, I think it did, you know, whatever you say, it got to like $100 million for an R-rated movie that's about a scientist.

Yeah. To be that big is fucking bananas. It's, it's, you know, it's heavy and shit. Like,

you know, I don't know if it's like a date movie if you're like younger and you just want to like have fun. Maybe it's not for you. I don't know,

but it's, it's a fucking dope movie. Game Time, the exclusive ticketing partner of Barstool Sports, is created by fans for fans. GameTime is the ticketing app that makes it easier than ever to score last-minute deals on tickets to sports, concerts, and shows. And they guarantee the lowest price. We were able to go see some concerts this summer.

I never thought we were going to be able to see Taylor. We got tickets because of GameTime. You've got to pay what you've got to pay, but you'll always have a ticket available. You'll always know that it's the lowest price possible. Also, if you get on it right away, you'll be able to sometimes get tickets up front or in a box or

front row, whatever it may be. Tickets that you never thought were possible because you didn't wake up exactly at 10 a.m. and go viral with all the bots and everything. You can get tickets that are the best seats of your life or the most affordable seats of your life, all because of GameTime's up-to-the-millisecond technology that keeps the real time of the secondary market right there in your pocket.

So it's all possible with GameTime, with the biggest last-minute price drops and the best seats you thought you could never buy. It takes just two taps and 10 seconds, and once you buy your tickets, they're delivered directly to your phone. No prints are needed. The app also allows you to share tickets via text,

so you can get everyone into the game seamlessly. You don't have to show up at the same time. You don't have to worry about QR codes. None of that. Skip the hassle. Enjoy the moment. Download the GameTime app or go to the website, enter your email,

and redeem code KFC for $20 off your first purchase. Terms apply. That's GameTime app, promo code Kfc for 20 off your first purchase terms apply that's game time app promo code kfc for 20 off your first purchase and then there's barbie which stinks so much that movie stunk it and it's not because i didn't get it it's not because i'm a man who's threatened it's just like i get it i'm not threatened i think it's actually kind of like it wasn't like this feminist thing it was just like okay yeah it sucks to be a girl because you have to have blow up to a bunch of different standards of society but it's just like goofy people pretending to be dolls in a very corny

and cliche on purpose way they didn't i the only problem with Barbie was the hype because I went into it kind of being promised that it was like – when I first saw Barbie, I was like, oh, that's funny. It's like the Lego movie. Like we're going to like make things that aren't real into a whole movie and it's going to be kind of whatever. And then there was that one executive who said like I'll stake my career on this, like being the best movie ever. Well, yeah. Well, I guess. I mean i don't i guess so there are some people out there impressed i if if his quote was about selling

it then fine if his quote was about like being a good movie i'm like i mean come on like this is not gonna like change movies it was it's exactly what you probably think it is it's the people acting like barbies and it's about how the real world and the Barbie world are different and how girls have it tough. Signed, sealed, delivered, tied it up in a bow. That's it. First of all, the thing that sucks about disliking it is everyone else

who dislikes it. It's like, no, I'm not on your side. The best superheroes in the world. If you don't like it because you're threatened by it, if you don't like it because you don't like pink, you're threatened by it, if you don't like it because you don't like, like, pink, like, all those stupid reasons, like, you're a fucking asshole. I just don't like it because it's, like, it's – it feels like you're watching, like, a TV movie. Like, it was just, like – It's very – so the – people think it's anti-man.

If that is the case, I don't like it because it's not anti-man enough. It is. It's not. During the big, like, feminist part, they even say, like, and it's for you too, Ken. And they're like, oh, yeah, it's about us also. It's like this is the – as I've read reviews and tweets and things like that, people keep talking about the writing. And it's so incredibly scripted and whatever.

I just don't get it. I've decided I'm either the smartest or dumbest person in the world. It's one or the other. It's probably dumbest, but walk me through smartest. There wasn't one thing in that movie to be considered great writing and stuff like that. You have to show me a way to think about something that I hadn't already thought about. Yes. And it's like –

That's what I thought it was going to be. It's like what if things were switched? Yeah. I thought about that before. That's what I mean. It's like Barbie – in Barbie world, women are king, queen. And then when she gets in the real world, she's like, wait a minute. Like guys rule everything here.

And then there's a bunch of, like, very kind of low-hanging fruit jokes about, like, you know, oh, construction workers are over there. Let me, like, go say hi because they love women. And then they catcall her, and she's like, what's going on here? It's like, okay, very, like, sledgehammer over the head with it. Was there a joke that made – and, like, I like to think when someone, like, makes fun of me, I'm like, oh, you motherfucker. Like, I didn't feel attacked at all at one point, at any point, where I was like, oh, yeah, okay. That kind of got me there. Like, not even just, like, that got you particularly, but was there a joke that you went, oh, that's a good joke?

No. Actually, the only jokes that I laughed at, the only reason I knew it, there was a moment where they were going through other Barbie dolls. And I pulled my phone out real quick to Google if those were actually real Barbie dolls or not. The funniest parts of those movies are the little jabs at the failed Barbie dolls. Yeah. Like, Sugar Daddy Barbie is a real fucking doll that they named the dog Sugar. And so Barbie Mattel was like, technically, he's the daddy of Sugar. But we all know what adults are going to, like, assume. And so they put that out.

And obviously had to get pulled, like, because that's fucking kind of weird but like that was real and then alan was just discontinued because of his closeness to ken they were just like that's gay it's gotta go midge had a i didn't know alan was real yeah midge was real it was a pregnant um barbie that you could take the belly off and it was the baby and everyone was horrified by it. And then there was the growing up Barbie where you lifted her arms, and it pumped her tits up. And those were all real, and they were all discontinued because of controversy or people just being like, this is fucking weird. Because of cancel culture, Kevin. Back in the 50s. But I had my phone out, and I was like, oh, I just read that.

That's actually funny. So that's where if you're a Barbie fan, you probably. Yeah, I actually get the nostalgia of it. If you play with Barbie. That's my thing. I get that we're not Barbie people. But they it was presented that it was going to be like, you don't need to have played with Barbie dolls to love this. And I think you kind of do.

It is. I talked to some girls who were like, oh, no. I'm like, all right, that's's fine Then it's like a football movie I have no problem with that But just don't tell me People saying that Ryan Gosling is expected to get Nas for best supporting actor

If he wins an Oscar for that And I love Gosling And what he did was's like it's just being like a spoof it's a spoof movie it's like watching um like not another teen movie where it's like every joke is like oh that's because of this trope and that's because of that cliche even like the jokes i don't when you're told it when i'm told it's brilliant writing like there were i there wasn't a joke where it's like oh god i laughed there are definitely points where i laughed no doubt yeah yeah but there there was the one scene that i remember but not because it was like amazing when america ferrara like gives her big speech

that's where i was finally like fuck this because it was like it was so like like that's where the writing should have like shined and it was something i've heard a billion times if that was you know you have to be a mom but you have to also be independent and when you go to the That's where the writing should have like shined. And it was something I've heard a billion times. If that was. You know, you have to be a mom, but you have to also be independent. And when you go to the working world, don't be too business oriented because people then think you're a bitch. But if you're not strong enough, you're weak. And make sure you're sexy, but not too sexy because then you're a slut. And it's like I've seen that in pop culture all over the place.

That exact speak. If that was the If that was just a part of the movie where it's like a throwaway line, then whatever. But that's the moment. That's what snaps them out of it. I was like, wait, you guys haven't thought about this before? I've heard this a million times.

The old do this, but if you do it too much, then you're that. And it sucks. I agree. It sucks. And you're right. And then girls we went with were saying like, but like, the thing is, it really is like that

when you're a young girl growing up. I'm like, got it. Not saying it's not. Just saying, I thought that this movie, I thought that there was going to be more like way more subtlety. Kind of like, oh, that represents feminism. And that represents the bad guy. And that, you know, and it was just like, oh, nope.

Big fucking symbolism smashed you over the head. Guys who play guitar at you are annoying. Yeah. That's been in movies for 40 years. And again, that being a major part of the big thing. It's crazy. I was like, yeah. Oh, guys who play guitar are annoying?

Yeah. We know. Dude, even the song isn't good. I hate it. I hate it. The song could be – have you seen it yet? No. The song could be so awesome.

Like it could be this. I was talking with DJ Bean about it. I'm sure they had great stuff. Listen to Brunch. And like I'm sure that could be just a massive like – like even the way he's dressed, like a hairband, like, that could be his massive song. And I love songs in movies. It could be like their Peaches from Mario.

Like, everyone could be listening to it and singing it, and it could have been great. I don't even know anything, but maybe I'm just Ken. Anywhere else I'd be a tat. And, like, it sounds exactly, I didn't know Mark Ronson or Ralson, whatever his name is. I didn't know he was the producer and writer of all the music. It sounds exactly, I didn't know Mark Ronson or Rawson, whatever his name is. I didn't know he was the producer and writer of all the music. It sounds exactly like that.

It sounds like, it sounds exactly like he did that where it could have been, it could have been awesome and big and bombastic, which is the same word as big, but it is fucking, it's just, it wasn't. And then like, I walked out, I tweeted it and I saw like Kroll replied to me and he's like – because I said – I was like, is that a kid's movie? And he was like, no. And I saw that and I was like, I should clarify. I've seen the movie. Is it a kid's movie?

Because like it has a message and – That's what it felt like. It felt like Lego movie where it's like the kids are watching but if you're an adult, you get the message. You know what it felt like? It felt like when I walked out of Joker and I hated the Joker. I didn't hate the Joker but I didn't like it. It's kind of like this where I didn't hate it. I didn't like it. It was fine because I got

so annoyed at the end of Joker when he's like, this is what happens when you mix mental illness with a society that doesn't care. Yeah, no, I got it. I watched the movie. Message, message, message of the movie, message of the movie yeah like every movie has a message every story has a message but like when it's explicitly told to you it's like infantilizing and childish i was talking with keegan about it and she was like

i i explained all this and then she's like no it was blank blank blank blank blank and i was like yeah no i just said i just said you just woman's point. Dude. And I hold Greta Gerwig in such high regard. And I expected the writing to be so brilliant that I walked out of that movie and I call my mom and I was like, I didn't like it. But here's what they might have done. They might have dumbed it down so that men watching felt stupid. So they understood what mansplaining was. I did the jordan peel thing i like i like to a circle i projected something i'm like that actually if she came out

was like gotcha bitch yeah okay you know what that was cool that was cool that's john you're brilliant that's that i was she waited like two weeks and then just came out and said told you yeah do you get it now I'd go oh fuck

I would feel I'd feel so embarrassed about this podcast but I don't think I don't think that's it if that's what they did in Genius I don't think

that's what they did but I was like I feel like I'm getting women's blame too right now I don't think they they did because nobody else

is saying that except for the smartest guy in the room right here yeah there it is except for the smartest guy in the room right here. Yeah, there it is. I mean, you're the smartest guy in the world. This guy knows the news. And this guy, this guy's got the themes. I mean, that would, because that's what it felt like.

I was like, I wanted to stand up and scream at the screen. I get it. But again, not because of like threatening. Like, yo, here's the thing. I get, sometimes i forget that we like live in a city we live in like the northeast we grew up in a time where like i don't know that shit just doesn't phase me yeah when feminists talk about like guys sucking i'm kind of just like yeah what i don't know i get that there's a whole swath most the majority of the

country who will be like offended and upset by that. But like if you watch that movie and you get and you feel threatened, you are the biggest pussy in the world. Like I can't even I can't even talk like that's it. Moving on. Because it's like once you see that movie where it's so jokey and so silly. If anyone walked out of it being like, we need to stop this. Holy shit. You need to kill yourself uh but if that was the case if it was one gigantic prank to go this is what it feels like then i

then i'd be like got it if that was the tension was the most brilliant movie ever because i walked out being like is it do they think i'm a child that that was cool but you did that if gregory came and said that i'd be like like, yeah, that shit was brilliant. Delete my podcast. All right, you're right. It's brilliant writing because I felt like a fucking five-year-old. It didn't help that I had a five-year-old. I had an aisle seat, and a kid got up.

First of all, by the way, I'm not just talking about me. I watched it at a 4 p.m. showing in the East Village in New York City at a jam-packed theater. It's hard to find more like that's the target market yeah people laughed but like it wasn't like that like no one was like there was at least no one was saying with their laughter this is a funny movie um and i also to be fair in my uh judgment of it i did take like a 10-15 minute nap not on a full night's sleep at 4 p.m. viewing. I should be not a good sign.

Not a great sign. You know what I had at mine? Like for like a pack of five, like four 15 year old boys got up and just left. I was like that said more about society than this fucking movie ever did. I, I, yeah, i had a little nap i i fell asleep like right when they're getting back to barbie land and they're doing like the casa dojos yeah and i woke up like with like the fight he repeats it it's casa dojo and bruski brew yeah don't you get it the um it's funny because of that i woke up when he's like kicking around or whatever um but at one point during the

movie the i movie the there was there was a child in front of me which again made me start be like is this a kid's movie there's a kid in front of me and then their kids i was sitting on an aisle seat the kids across the aisle from me and at one point the mom just let the guy goes i'm done trying to control this kid and the kid i have this weird kids are just like they don't get my aura. Like, kids just stare at me like, what the fuck? I can see that. Kids stare at me like, does everyone else see this? Like, you know how animals can sense danger?

Yeah, yeah. Kids just are like. Bro, every time a kid looks at me, it's very accusatory. I'm like, dude, fucking be cool. No, they don't know. At one point, a kid stood up. I think they were one row in front of me, and the mom was just like, I'm done. And the kid stood up and walked in our row back and stood just for five minutes and just stared at me.

And I was like – Wait, wait, where was he staring at you? Like just – I don't know if it was a guy or a girl. Like, they had long hair and it was in a ponytail, but it was kind of in, like, a guy's fashion, so I couldn't really tell. It was dark in the theater. That seems like a weird boy thing. Yeah, yeah. And they were just, like, just staring.

And I was, like, just trying to not look back at them. I was, like, don't look, don't look. He's going to sit there, like. I was alone. I was,. I was sitting there like, I was alone. I was like, this fucking kid's putting me alone. What a scene. I feel like it's like Billy Madison with the penguin. Stop looking at me. It's like, don't give him the satisfaction.

Wow. That must have been you. Your Barbenheimer experience could not have been worse. No, dude. Didn't like Barbie, got stared down by a weirdo kid, and then couldn't even watch Oppenheimer. And forgot my credit card at dinner in between. So I had to go back to East Village in a neighborhood that's inconvenient for me to get to to pick up my credit card the next day. I went to my old high school where I went to the movies when I was a kid.

Clem came down. Bob came from Jersey. And they wanted to take an Oppenheimer picture. We were going to smoke cigs. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So I wore – I was just going to the movies and wearing like sweatpants comfortable and then I put on a button up shirt and I

was like I'll change I'll take the picture real quick first then I'll change into like a t-shirt or whatever and um they we got there at different times and then they we didn't take the picture till after so I'm standing there in a dress shirt and sweatpants like a dickhead and my friends from high school were there and they

were like oh what's up man i'm seeing you just gotta say hello and i was like how are you dude things are going well huh yeah i mean it looked like you know you're down and out like half in dress clothes half in sweatpants like fuck um i i know this this movie theater drives me crazy it always has i should just stop going to it. But it's convenient. It's got the IMAX. And you wait online for concessions for like 40 minutes. Bro, that's how this theater was too.

I tweeted it. I was like, everyone should get concessions early because it's crazy. So we get through our tickets. And Clem's wife was like, I'm going to try this line. And I was like, I'm going to try this line and I was like I'm going to try this line and in my head I was thinking whoever gets there first will just combine but

so Clem and his wife are waiting and then as they get to the front it's pretty clear they're going to get first Bob shows up and then I was like I don't want to they just added two people to there and then I first, Bob shows up. And then, I was like, I don't wanna,

they just added two people to there. And then I, we're gonna have an order of six people. So, I can't do that anymore. And I was only two back from mine. So I was like, okay,

you win, I'm just gonna wait for mine. There's only two groups in front of me. The first group, was a group of five dudes, four dudes. And they all ordered and paid individually how old so this is this is where the debate comes in they were they were probably they probably were like teenagers

but a four set dude all of a sudden I now have six people in front of me. I, I, I, this, this, this theater always does it. It wasn't as blatant as that.

Usually it's because behind the counter are four people just doing like nothing. They just like, they're so slow to the point that I'm like, I can't say anything right now because I'll look like old man yelling at a cloud, but I'm absolutely justified if I was like, what the fuck are you kids doing back there?

But every time this happens, and particularly with this one, because I realized what was about to happen, I daydream about saying, I will pay for all your stuff. Please just let me. Why didn't you? I feel like that's kind of an asshole thing. It's kind of an asshole thing. I've done it like... And there was also another group, so I was about to say, I will pay for all four of you

and you guys if you let me go. But that just feels like... It's kind of an asshole thing, but also... I've done it before. I've done it with Beard. I've done it with Beard

at a game. If I was like... I hear like puck drop, and I'm like, yo, I'll get you a Beard. What do you want? And... But that's more like,

hey, let's do this all at once yeah right yeah that's kind of to be like you guys are so fucking slow i'm just gonna buy all your shit right now i i i i feel like it comes across but i'm gonna start i've learned this about myself it's not all lines because there are i can sit in traffic. I can wait in line to check out the grocery store. Movie concessions, I go bonkers. Mine's all lines. I don't know what it is. I start – I was literally like this.

I was pacing, and I was like, this is getting crazy. This is getting crazy, guys. I was like, oh, I'm the crazy guy guys and I was like oh I'm the crazy guy but I was speaking so loud and people were looking at me and I was like I don't know if I can do this I don't even know if I can go watch the movie right now I think I might have to go home

I was like an actual crazy person but it seems to just be the movies so I don't go to the movies that often maybe because of that subconscious I can't do it but yeah that sort of shit how do we how do we not know how to do this yet? I think real quick back to how old they are. I get what you mean.

Like when I was a kid, it used to be like, I'm going to pay for my popcorn and my Coke with the invention of like Venmo and all that shit. I don't know, man. Like you're not paying more money. It's not like not like we're doing it at dinner and there's going to be tip and all that shit it's just like just shoot it to me and you know if anything that's the generation that should be able to do it yeah yeah i would i'm just thinking back to my own but yeah like if you have that moment something like that if i i was also you're also paying in cash so it used to be like we'd have to like pool our money together but i don't know

when it went from two to six i lost it i mean it's the first like 10 minutes of the movie oh that's why yeah that that sucks and i was at the point i was like i don't even i don't care about the fucking bunch of crunch right now but i had i was like i've been here for 40 minutes so what's 45 i'm gonna be there for three hours right i'll get hungry my tummy for real i mean we did uh i was ravenous when I got out. We were at the movies from like four to ten. It's crazy. So, yeah, that's the that's that's the Barbenheimer debrief. Do you want to do your thing now or should we just run through a couple like topics or you want to.

You tell me because I feel like you're afraid to do your thing. It's quick. It's quick. It's quick. OK, John. John has prefaced this as like, I got a thing and I don't know what i'm gonna do about it and i'm like dude abortion clinics exist don't worry like whatever it is we can we can get through this please i'm like a navy seal with that i just do that so you don't even know

jesus christ i meant i mean you guys don't know. Everyone else knows. In and out. I'm like the CIA. People only hear about our failures. Bro, John. John's got a fucking, one of those hole punch cards. Tenth one's free.

Oh, you're back? Preferred customer, John. Right this way. You don't have to wait on the line. Jesus Christ. Only hear about our failure. If I ever ever kid, it was a box mission. Something like a movie about it. We need a government

oversight! It's like in in veep when when uh i always forget his name dan dan egan's he's getting the abortion with amy and he's like whoa was that the bad back 3000 um tell you this anytime you are comparing yourself in real life to dan from veep you are you are a colossal piece of shit um but the um what's gonna say okay so issue issue johnny issue wednesday night i just recorded the longest podcast and worst podcast in history i'm walking home i'm like i can't wait to sit on the couch and be miserable and think about how bad i am at my job until it's time to go back to work.

And I get a text, and it's from my cleaning guy. And he's like, hey, John, just got to the apartment. There's a key in the lockbox. And I was like, fuck. I completely forgot he was coming today. And also, why is he coming at 6.30? Oh, your guy's always there at night. I think I just say short he knows to ask me because he knows I don't care.

And I got to start laying the law down where I'm like, you got to be there at the end of the day. Yeah, right. Next cleaning session is going to be at midnight. Well. John laying the law down. That's what we call him. We call him Johnny Law because he lays down the law so often. Get the fuck out of here.

Here comes the issue. So it's like 6.30, and I was just walking by a restaurant. I was like, you know what? I suck so bad, I'm going to treat myself to a steak dinner. So I went into Motel Morris, got a decent steak, and I ate alone at the bar and listened in on just the worst first date of all time. Like, it actually was – it should have been – like, Barbie should have just been this one. The woman didn't say a word.

The guy just talked about himself and how – I think he was like a founder of Bleacher Report. He definitely mentioned Bleacher Report a few times. Talked about how he failed out of law – dropped out of law school, went out to California for a while, started this Bleacher Report. But then I Googled, like, the founders of Bleacher Report. He wasn't one of them. So he might have been lying bro what if we open a restaurant that's called table for one slash bad first dates and all it is is you get you're either on one side or the other you have to have your first date there and but there will be people table for wanting it just listening in on your date it was and you get your meal free you'll get a steak dinner for free if

you if you bring the date. But you just have to know that on the other side of the room is a bunch of solo guys or girls just listening. That's a great idea. Like if you're a young kid, you can't afford a dinner, like a nice dinner. It's like, listen, we're going to go get lobster and steak. It'll be for free.

The only thing is there's going to be some weirdos listening to us. They think that we're going to have a bad first date. It's going to go great. Don't worry. It's going to go great. Don't worry. It's going to go terrible. And then on the other side, it's like, yeah, you have to like basically pick up their bill. Your steak is going to be like instead of $50, $100 because you're buying them, but you get to listen the whole time.

It was so bad to the point where like I was like, if this guy gets up, I'm going to have to say something. You're going to say something? I've dreamed about that. Leaning over and being like, get out of here, dude. She sucks. You know? The – I was going to be like, look, just so you know, I'm not interested. I feel – I'm not trying to steal you right now. Right, right.

But the fact that you're still sitting here is insane. That dude sucks. Like, it was so bad if you were Wednesday night last Wednesday whatever the date was if that was you at that bar you fucking suck dude like you suck talking about his mutual funds and his workout habits like it was like dude like I mean it was I was here they was the corner of the bar and they were both sitting at like an end. And so I could hear everything. And it was – and she didn't say anything. All I could hear was his voice the whole time. She was probably stealing a steak dinner.

She didn't give a shit. It was nuts. But anyway, eating a steak dinner alone, it's pretty quick. Like it takes about a half hour. Yeah. So when I wasn't far from home, I had nothing. I didn't have anywhere else to go kill time. I was like, I'm just going to go sit on the stoop across from my apartment. Because it's just like you can't even be in the apartment when he's cleaning. I had nothing. I didn't have anywhere else to go kill time. I was like, I'm just gonna go sit on the stoop

across from my apartment and wait. Because it's just like you can't even be in the apartment when he's cleaning. I can't. Yeah.

I've never been, I've never been, but like I couldn't be. When I was a kid and the cleaning woman would come, I was like, I gotta get out of here.

And by the way, this guy's the fucking man. We like met in person like twice. So why is he even a dude? Yeah. But he's like, he's so nice

and he's like, he's just, he's the best. I would guess so. His name's Angel. But he's like, he's so nice. And he's like, he's just, he's the best. I would guess so. His name's Angel. But like, I don't know why that's funny, but it is. I would guess it's on hell. Yeah.

Yeah. And Angel. What's up, Angel? We'll bleep his name. No, give him some business. And so I sit on the stoop across the street from my apartment and I'm like, I'm just going to sit here and fuck around on my phone

and just wait for them to leave. I wait like an hour. Hour and a half or so. It's after dinner. So it's been like two hours. And then, out of my apartment come... Tell me he's fucking people in your apartment. No.

Two children. One who appears to have a special need of some kind. Because the other one's holding his hand as they walk down the stairs in my apartment. And I was just like, what the fuck? So now. Cue the music and the black screen with the white writing, the gang does child labor. So now, like fire is not the right word, but like I want a new cleaning person so bad. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.

Why? Because you think that he's. I'm very uncomfortable with the idea of children cleaning my apartment. I think he might just be bringing them along. They were carrying stuff. They might have to carry their weight a little bit i've seen so much of that it's so sad the state of like child care because you either need to pay for crazy daycare or nanny or whatever and you can't afford it but there's a lot of people i think who bring their kids on the job whether you're like i mean i see it like the cashier at the at the restaurant or like the the place i'm getting food there's just like her

kids are in the back doing homework or whatever i i hope they're just watching tv i don't know you can't i mean listen this is quite the predicament on the one hand, you are providing an opportunity to make children work, like force them into child labor. Yeah. On the other hand, that means they fucking need it, bro. That's exactly my predicament. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That is quite the predicament. And to your statement about, like, they just kind of hate you. The mom or a woman sits in a van with the hazards on in front of my apartment.

The whole time. So, like, they could just sit in the van. So they are cleaning. So they're cleaning. How old are we talking? It's not crazy young, but, like, 13. Like, 10 to 13. young but like 13 like my clean i've had a cleaning lady bring their their son along and uh they were like 15 and he was huge for his like he was like not huge and i like gave him sneakers

and shit like that he wants some of these clothes you can take this you can take that like get this shit out of here and he was like oh my god this is amazing uh yeah child labor is a touchy one like i can't all right like what do i do all right because you're right like that's exactly what i was like well clearly like if they i'll tell you what's worse than you know like uh than that is like you know you're at home with a with a fucking they want to talk to you about bar. Okay. Okay. I'm sure... Are you guys recording? Yeah. Yeah, but that's okay.

Oh, my God. I'm meeting a pro too far. I wish you came in, like, five minutes earlier. Wait, no, you go there. Before we get into it, what's your stance on child labor? Okay. What's your stance on child labor?

Oh, I mean, how helpful is the kid? I don't know. Let's just say, hypothetically, you saw your cleaning person come out of your apartment with two children in tow, like, carrying all the cleaning stuff. Oh, but were the kids helping their, you know, their mother carry? Father! Father! I said cleaning person. You said cleaning lady.

Men are gaslighting. What did they say? Cleaning lady. I absolutely said person. No, I didn't. You said cleaning lady. Men are gaslighting. What did they say? Cleaning lady. I absolutely said person. No, I didn't. You said cleaning lady. I specifically said cleaning person. No, okay.

Well, I thought it's person, but I thought you said lady. So I was like, well, you said lady. Yeah, exactly, because, you know. No, because you said it. No, because this is how you just see the world. You just assume things. You assume gender. As someone dressed as a lesbian,

you look like Rachel Sennett in the Bottoms trailer. I don't get that reference. Oh, you got it? Okay, sorry that this is so far away. They don't let women speak very often, so it's really hard for me to understand how to hold a microphone.

That microphone sucks. When we have interviews, I'm like always like... So I'm so sorry to everyone okay and we also have a timer so we only have a minute now we blew past a long time ago wait so you guys didn't like the barbie movie i'll listen i'll listen i'll hear you here's the deal well first of all it's not feminist enough that's the main it's not anti-man enough it is that's i'm being genuine i i thought it was very like strokes. But feminism isn't anti-men.

I agree. Mine is, I don't think the writing at any point made me go, oh, I didn't think of it like that. That's insane. That is so crazy. What part did you think was profound? America Ferreira's monologue? That was the worst part! We just got finished talking about that. That was the worst part?

Have you guys not thought of that? I've heard that. We have, but you haven't. That's the thing. We've never seen someone able to say that because here's the deal. Do you not listen to Token CEO? I worked on Token CEO. I have heard that same speech a billion times before.

From random Twitter users. You got to dress sexy, but if you dress too sexy, you're a slut. You got to be in the business world. You don't actually get it But you don't get it This movie isn't for you It's just somebody seeing it They're like watching it And they're feeling it

Here's what I have to say Here's what I have to say You saying you've heard the words Doesn't mean that you've Comprehended them I've absolutely comprehended them No but hear me out I think Greta did it on purpose

I think So this is our theory And this would actually make it Brilliant I have something to say after If Greta Gerwig comes out in two weeks and says, gotcha, bitches, this is what it feels like to be mansplained because I hit you over the head with how obvious this all is,

then I would be like, this is the most brilliant thing I've ever heard. This isn't about you, number one. So this isn't about you guys. Okay, you have a daughter, and eventually she's going to be like, I love comedy because she's around comedy all the time, and you're so funny, and she's going to be like, oh my God, I love comedy. She's eventually going to realize that.

She's going to go to watch comedy, and it's going to be Vince Vaughn and Jonah Hill, and even if there's funny women in the movies, all of the movies are them on the – Judd Apatow, they're all run by men, and then we do have some blockbusters. We have Bridesmaids. We have blockbusters. But we don't have this – when you go to show her your favorite movies,

how many of them have women as the lead on the poster? Okay, so it's representation. A million percent. Okay, that's fine. If you say that we find that a big blockbuster, cool. And the message. But the message is very basic. No.

Okay, then how many other movies have the exact same message? I think that, I mean, I don't know. I wouldn't say movie as a whole. I would just say that part's been said. Yeah. In what movie? I can't think of it because I hear it so often. And I don't disagree with it.

It's right. Maybe you hear it so often because it's not echoed in society. So it's like, we have to keep saying this because we haven't gotten it across. Also, like. But that's fine. But then it's not like that's super original. Yeah, it's not like. It's not like a groundbreaking.

Okay, then why do you think. What was said there is not groundbreaking. I'm not saying. Well, that's how this movie was portrayed to me. I think it was groundbreaking. What's coming out. Yeah. Because there's no other movies like that.

Like, when you're. And I hate to say your daughter because it sounds a little manipulative. But, like, when a young girl, like, goes to watch movies. How many movies are there where a stunningly beautiful woman like Margot Robbie is like told that like you're not your looks? You know what I mean? Okay. That's fine. But that's just not like I was expecting.

I heard a lot about the writing. I thought the writing was going to be better. But if it's a representation, that's fine. I didn't see. I have not seen a movie that funny in a while. See, I saw. I haven't. I have not seen a movie that funny. And you want haven't i have not seen a movie that funny and

you want to know why maybe because all comedy is geared towards men maybe i'm not maybe but i'm not talking about my opinion have a a uh a connection to this because of like its message i don't think you would find that that funny oh i thought what was so funny so when the supreme court joke when they see the miss usa and they go oh my god the supreme court that was hilarious construction site the lizzo song in the in the beginning it's so funny because we're like we The Supreme Court joke when they see the Miss USA and they go, oh my god, the Supreme Court. That was hilarious. The construction site. The Lizzo song in the beginning. It's so funny because we just talked about all these things and how much we hated it.

Yeah, I think it maybe just was it for you guys. And also, I watched it in a jam-packed theater. I don't go to Black Panther and say, oh my god, I hated this. It didn't relate to me. I didn't say I hated it. I just said I didn't really like it. It wasn't great. I also say it black panther if you're if you're telling me black panther is a groundbreaking movie in like the cinematic form i don't know it wasn't but i

also watched it in theater it's like oh it's pretty cool it's not okay so how many like black superhero movies are there well again if we're talking representation it's a completely different story yeah right that is how is that not groundbreaking in cinema uh yeah i don't think ground but i'm talking right i'm – I wouldn't say it's hilarious. If I can't think of it, then your point is made. But also, even the set I felt like was groundbreaking. We've had heroines. We've had stories of like –

even if it's done in a comedy way where it's like your looks aren't everything. I don't know. I feel like there's movies about that, like your looks aren't everything. I might not know what I'm talking about at all, but I would imagine it's like the theme of the father-son relationship occurs throughout all media movies all the time and like it's something that maybe to other people who don't understand the father-son relationship blah blah it'd be like okay yeah we've heard this many times but if you have gone through that you know like you're feeling it and then you're watching it on screen

and like it's gonna bring emotions because you're like, I went through that. That was that funny in the last five years that passed the Bechdel test. Right. The what? The Bechdel test. You probably don't know what it is. No, I do. I know.

Yeah, that, I mean, it's where if there are more than two women on screen at once talking. Not about a man. Not about men. So no men are on screen, and they're not talking about any man. So I have to go, but I love Barbie. Okay, we love Barbie. No, I saw No Hard Feelings and I thought it was funny, but Barbie was so much funnier. I watched Barbie, and this is my thing for the funny.

I watched it 4 o'clock Thursday, Pack Theater in the East Village. It wasn't like roaring laughter. I thought it was really funny. You were, like, howling laughing? Okay. It was the theater laugh, but, like, no one was like, hold on. What is... What's your favorite, like, funny movie?

Hmm. I really have to think about that. Well, like, my favorite movie of all time is Ferris Bueller, but I wouldn't say that that's, like, the funniest movie I've ever seen. I love, like, Wedding Crashers. I like all those movies. I like... And you thought this was funnier than those?

In a lot of ways, yeah. That's not a ringing endorsement. Okay, so... But it wasn't... I didn't think, like, the idea of the movie... Like, it had more heart than Wedding Crashers. I feel like if you were to just watch these two movies and say which one is funnier

and not talk about representation or the Bechdel test and all that, you wouldn't be like, that's not... But that's not what I'm trying be like, that's not my point. My point is that it was funny, period. I disagree with that, but you should have two different opinions on it. You can definitely have two different opinions.

So I think it's more about... I don't think it's the funniest movie ever. I think it was funny, period. I laughed a few times, but... And it was the funniest movie I've seen, new movie I've seen in, like, years. If you're telling me that it was... I don't see funny in theaters a lot because it doesn't get made a lot, but, like...

Yeah, it doesn't get made a lot at all. That's so true. The comedy, the, like, blockbuster comedy just has disappeared. And sometimes the comedies that, like, are, like, comedies, you, like, go, and you're, like, uh... Yeah, it's more like a rum or a drum.

I definitely think there's funnier movies. I bet Wedding Crashers is funnier. I definitely believe that. But my point is that it's funny. If you want to tell me that it was... Oh, I definitely believe that. My point is that it's funny. If you want to tell me that it was – I laughed at times. And it holds a candle to most comedies right now. If you want to tell me that it's important that as a girl and for little girls that they see that and that scene resonates with them, cool.

Then you're right. Like it's not a movie for everybody. But it was kind of portrayed as it was going to be this, like, cultural thing. And it's like, I thought if you don't have the Barbie nostalgia, you miss out on a lot of, like, the references and jokes. I mean, like, it was always Barbie, though. And if you're not going to be. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. But, again, maybe it just depends on the buildup to it.

Like, some of the shit I heard. But even the soundtrack is girly. Is what? Is girly. Like, I I heard even the soundtrack is girly is what is girly like I think it was always marketed towards girly yeah yeah but like even I'm a guy who and I

I was pretty disappointed with the soundtrack podcast right now I feel like you said the Lego movie was better what are you talking i'm saying that it was very yeah like it was similar in that it was like very heavy-handed like it's legos and they're not real but they're doing like having real world discussions about the toy world versus wait can i tell you some things that i really like i get it i liked the barbie

world wasn't cgi at all they created that whole set That set was unreal But now we're talking About different things Like I would never Wait but how is that different It's the movie Or you want to talk About the scripts

Yeah like I I don't really care About like sets And stuff like that Yeah that That is amazing Like and I thought You know I thought

The marketing behind it And the pink everywhere Like that's all very cool I would never Not say that So just the script Is what we want to talk about Just the script

I would think Yeah I guess so I feel like Okay just talking about the script i felt like from the beginning when like they're doing the barbie is like uh she's like testifying in front of congress and she's like i am able to share my emotions and my logical feelings without mixing like all i felt it was i thought that was like smash you over the head with this no i thought that was like so on the note like i thought it was so funny but on the note like and maybe what jackie's saying is right that like i i was saying uh because i was saying that like we i forget sometimes i was talking about the guys who are like threatened by this and offended by it yeah that's crazy i was like i forget sometimes that because we live in a city and we're in north the

northeast and we're like relatively progressive and all that. And there are huge swaths of the country that will be like, what is this? And so I was like, I got to remind myself of that. So maybe there are people who would never think of that joke. That's funny because most people think that women can't think logically without emotion. I guess there might be people out there going like, oh shit, I never thought of that. But to me, I was like, I get it guys.

All of this is very basic level shit. But anytime you like share your emotions and like you talk passionately, like it's like, oh, you're being emotional. Right. But I feel like I've heard that. I've heard that if you – in the business world, if you like stand around, you're a bitch. I know, but you're constantly hurt.

You constantly hear it. And if you dress too – if you want to be sexy, but that makes you a slut. And that if you get excited about something, you're emotional. Like, I've heard Kelly Keats. I mean, like, I've heard it from people here. I've heard this before. And I hear it every day about myself. I hear that.

You're saying that you're tired of hearing, like. I'm not tired of hearing. No, no, no. I'm not tired of hearing. I have heard of it. But I hear it towards me 24-7. Like, I think that if there was a movie that was, like, about, like, men being able to, like, you know, show their emotions and be vulnerable and, like, be able to, like, you

know, share their body image issues. I think that would probably be more groundbreaking than this. That's what I'm trying to say. That would be a movie geared towards you, towards, like, all the things that men struggle with. But this, you're saying yourself that there's, like, controversy about the Barbie movie. So, like, how is it not groundbreaking if there's so much discord about it like how is it i'm not there's been more discord about all these things we talked about than if there was a if there was a movie that

really talked about how guys can't like feel emotion and they nailed it well i think that would be more that's not real sports movies are not about like how men can't feel like express themselves emotionally without feeling inferior or whatever. Like, well, there's a lot of emotions in sports movies, like a lot of emotions in sports movies. Like they're very much kind of catered to men's. Yeah. That's what I'm trying to say. Like,

it's like everything, like we have to find the pieces that we like out of the things that are already like the Ken part where he's walking around. And it's like, I think that some of the things that people don't understand about like women and how we feel is like a lot of you guys get it. Like you're like, oh, yeah, we get it. You you guys want to feel this way.

We get it. We hear you. We hear you. But it's like that doesn't mean there's representation for it. OK, like when he walks around, the representation is he walks around and he sees like JFK and he just sees like all the men. It's like and then even they're like, yeah, we do. We do hire women now. But and then he's like, OK, so it's not the patriarchy. He's like, no, no're like uh yeah we do we we do hire women now but and then he's like okay so it's not the page turkey he's like no no we're just a little bit

more discreet about it that's like how it like kind of feels like it's like yeah okay in comedy like okay for example like um not to like drop this on you guys but i got jfl oh congratulations thank you so much and um uh a co-worker i dearly love commented said like oh did assassin francis get it and i was like i don't think so i don't know but i don't think so and he was like well it's probably easier because you're a girl okay no no and i dearly love this co-worker but what i have to say co-worker here yeah like it happened 15 minutes ago but what i have to say is like okay but hear me out i dropped that name no i'm not going to because this is a really good person but what I have to say is...

Barbie would drop that name. No. I actually don't think so. I actually don't think so because Barbie was... After Ken did all that stuff to Barbie, Barbie goes, I feel bad. Do you remember that part? And I was like, girl, we've all been here. But what I was going to say is like, okay, regardless of how you feel about that, as

a woman, you go to a show, you're the only woman on the lineup. You're one of two women on the lineup. How many women did you guys have at that barstool uh chelsea show we had one trans woman okay so you had you had one trans woman how many men were on that lineup four and i know there's more men comedian than women comedians but this is constant every like movie like movie post and there's even hilarious women in the movie but it's like they're always the leads and like you could say that they write them but then why are the only ones writing them but it's like, they're always the leads. And like, you could say that they write them, but then why are they the only ones writing them? Like, it's not like there aren't women in comedy or women who like, and even if there's like, like, like Tina Fey in her book or no,

was it in her book? But Tina Fey said like, we can't have who's the best until we fix the issue of like discouraging so many people. Do you know what I mean? And like, I guess my point is is like, it's not about like people not understanding. It's about the fact that there's still no representation for it and also like obviously like women aren't the only ones who feel this way like obviously like like i mean we have a lot of people with like you know we have we have a lot of ableism and we have a lot and not to be like the woke liberal the angry

woke liberal lady from that steve carell movie show that was sucked on netflix you guys don't talk about space whatever oh so bad they had the angry woke woman do you know what I'm talking about she was like supposed to be I don't because that movie that show I met in black that from my brain I know it's so sad

that cast I was like so excited for that and that was like the worst thing I've ever watched and I also like hate to come on here because it's not like you guys are going to like fight fight back at this

because then it's like oh you know what I mean like if I'm like pulling like I don't think you're saying true but I really I think it's okay to not like a horror movie and I also don't think if I think there's

something to be said for if if if the thought was like Barbie is my protein bar that I didn't eat because I came in here I'm sorry if the thought was like Barbie needed to put on for all like all of these representation women in comedy the little girls growing up the girls who never, movies

aren't geared towards them. And so they did this, like, massive thing where everything was kind of like, like, every joke was kind of on the nose a little bit and, like, not subtle because they wanted to fucking be on the map. Yeah, and if you hate these movies, let us make them because then we'll chill out. Like, we just have to, like, do them. You know what I mean? We have to, like, have the representation so that we can be like, okay, we did it.

We told everyone that they could be beautiful regardless of their size. It's not wrong to want to be beautiful. It's not wrong to want to achieve beauty, but it's just such a small percentage of what a woman is. And I agree with all that. Again, you can't really have debates because we agree with what you're saying. Exactly. If you listen to what you can't, we were talking about the script mostly. No, no, no.

And also, sorry I'm hijacking this podcast. No, it's fine. It's good. But also part of that, I saw keeg's tweet like no one asked you but part of a massive movie being made is other people are gonna have opinions totally but i think that there's a way to like say your opinion like i think this is great i think i think the message is good i just saying like you guys feeling like you've been hit over the head with this message, totally hear you.

There was a super nice ally, sweetie pie boy out there who said that to me. Like, these things still constantly, constantly happen. And, like, you know, you guys might walk out here and say something that, like, literally is like a girl's like, again, it happened. You know what I mean? And I think that that's what it is. It's like, like, we'll stop saying it when it gets fixed. it's not it's not i'm not saying stop saying say it as much as you want it's just i'm saying you don't want to end your movies no what i said was if for me to say a great script i have to see something that i hadn't gone oh yeah before yeah i didn't see that in this movie like there's nothing that uh i don't think i've ever but there's never been a movie about a like

a live action movie about a toy but that's what we're talking about something different we're talking you're talking about like the movie as a whole. That's different. Okay, you're just talking about the social message. Not even a social message. Just like – sometimes I'll hear a great joke on stand-up in a show. I'm like, oh, that's a great way to portray it. I didn't see that in this.

So what are you not seeing in the movie that's like not a great way to portray it? Like women race? All of it was just like, yeah, no, I thought of it like that. What other movie did you see that you felt that way that you saw that you were like, oh, that's it? I can't think of it in my you know i'm not watching a stand-up that you go oh that's a great joke that's your point i get it yeah like that big america ferrara scene if if if you want that i'm not even talking about just with women i mean like any kind of joke like oh i never thought of it that way that's great yeah i just i didn't have i expected a lot more subtlety, and if they wanted to be not subtle on purpose, then that's fine too. But that America Ferrara scene, if that's important for a little girl to hear, and you want to just be straight on, then fine.

But then I'm also like – and then it's not for me, then my opinion doesn't matter. But I'm just saying as a viewer, I was kind of like – And that was – you referenced Black Panther. That was my same opinion of black panther i was like yeah it was a great it was a fine action movie right like it wasn't just great movie it was fine to their culture but as a movie for me that's fine so okay personally i do not like uh gore or violence in movies like i just like it's i'm a really squirmish person like i don't like body things at all so um who's that guy who makes all those movies super talented uh quentin tarantino quentin tarantino makes amazing movies not for me i love him i like i think that like he's really

creative i think he definitely deserves to like all the success because he really is like one of a kind not for me i don't like the movies but i don't go and be like the movie's bad like it's just not for me it's just not i'm not yeah i mean it's just not for me. It's just not. I'm not. Yeah. I mean. It's just not for me. Well, first of all, like, yes, I'm like on a very real level. I'm like, it's OK if you like this movie and I don't. My I'm going to give you my take is like I would never watch that movie again because I didn't I didn't find it funny. Totally.

So I hear what you're saying. I think that it's a little bit like bland. If everything if everything when we give our opinions on the Internet was just like, I here's how feel but like that you know what i mean like i can say that i know i think it's not for me and i don't like it but if you like it it's okay what we do here is say like i liked it i didn't like it i think if i were to defend kevin i would say you're more bombastic on the internet totally i totally get that but that's why i'm like like i walked out of the theater i knew i wasn't gonna like this movie i i was like i don't where I'm like like I walked out of the theater but why is it okay to talk about women I walked in going

I was like I knew I wasn't going to like this movie I was like I don't think I'm going to like this movie and I said that going in and as we walked out

with the group of people I was with they were like but you didn't hate it as much as you thought you were going to right and in that moment I also think

seeing Oppenheimer first was a wild move I do think that that changed the movie I wonder we were talking about if you do it the other way around because people said

to do it the other way you walk out of Oppenheimer like I did think that when I watched your video I was like yeah you saw Oppenheimer first I tried people were saying to see go see Barbie first I was thinking that but that way you finished with a good movie okay but in that moment to your point about like yeah and what he was saying in that moment people were like you didn't hate as much as you did right and I said yeah you're right

like it was fine I know I hear you but in. But inside, I was like, I hate that. When there's something that's very successful, people are going to have it. Also, I think I'm probably in the minority. And it, like, smashed and is a huge success. Yeah. I really hate also, like, how everyone's like, oh, it's so woke. It's like, I really don't get the part where girls being, like, us supporting women is so woke. But I also don't even think either way, like, I wish I saw, I found, like, one tweet. And it was just, like, a random person.

So it didn't have a lot of traction. But they like it was just like a fun summer movie like it's not so i don't think it's brilliant genius i don't think it's threatening the patriarchy i think it's just like this funny fucking goofy movie oh i think it was so good i really do think like i think people okay i there's something when you were like i've heard this before i've heard this before something that does come to mind is that you're here with like all of these women who are like and you see the comments and you're like oh these this is hard like it's crazy because these you know the girls who work here are all like honestly they're all beautiful and like classically beautiful and like conventionally beautiful and it's like to see comments about like weight or

looks or like things like that it's like just so wild because these people never say it in real life you know what i mean and you're here and you see that and you totally like agree for a man who doesn't work in media or entertainment yeah this might blow them away yeah seriously because it's like and that i get because when i'm on i was on someone's podcast and i made a comment about how you can't be too thin because if you're too thin people like say this but you can't be too big and then like there's like judgment from other women even and i put that it was clipped from the podcast it was put on tiktok viral for the wrong reasons everyone in the comments is calling me a bitch everyone's like of course a skinny blonde woman can't say that no this is like every woman deals with this

but it's like what but basically my point is is like you might have a much different perspective than like a 90 and any other guy yeah so and that's where the smartest guy in the room that probably so i do i do think that might change a little bit for you but i but i would say this so like i probably if i was like thinking more about it deeply in that video rather than just say it's bad my message should have been it's not for me or i already understand these things or my opinion is that it was like – And you're entitled to have your opinion obviously. But I also think there probably was an opportunity. Like I just walked out of there going like, okay, that was kind of like the way to – I think there was an opportunity to do it like a little more subtle, clever, and whatever where I would have been like it got that message across and it was like wow yeah I don't I

don't maybe they didn't want to go subtle and wow maybe they wanted it to be like hey fucking assholes yeah and but but then if that was the case you'd have to admit that it's a little more like in your face and like a sledgehammer you know what I mean I mean I get what you're doing I think it's more of a movie it's more than a movie but that's that more than what we're talking about the movie yeah i know i know but it's like i just will say like i think that like you hear what i'm coming from no no i hear what you're coming from i think like they're like right now it's just like it's the thing no no no i'm saying like it's like right now it's like all the women like we're going to theaters we're dressing up in pink it's like it's like our moment right now yeah and but i like that you guys have your opinion and are giving your opinion but but obviously we're gonna come back with our yeah

because we're like having our thing and we're like so empowered we're leaving the theater we're like oh my god i feel amazing like i love women i love and then it's like you guys can't let us have this yeah i we shouldn't we shouldn't have i think you guys should be your opinion no i totally and i think you guys should be able to give your opinion no I totally and I think you guys should be able to give your opinion but then we're going to come back with our opinion too but I think that what you want then is like niche indie movies that you guys will go see and like but if everybody watches

them they're going to have dissenting opinions no but that's my point it can't be a niche indie movie because there has to be representation right but then there's going to also be discourse about it and there's going to be responses to the discourse totally it and there's going to be responses and there's going to be responses to the discourse totally fine but to act like the response to the discourse totally but then to act like you are above me and i'm not getting it and i'm not smart this is your show i'm on you literally just said i can't help you yeah like you're beyond like that is a condescending tone you i don't think i'm beyond you that you're assuming that

i don't get what you're talking about and i do get it i'm not saying that i can understand your feelings i'm not saying that I can understand your feelings. I'm not saying that I go out there every day and try to fix these things. I'm not maybe as proactive as everyone should be. I get it. Okay. I believe that you get it. I do.

I don't think you do. Yeah, I don't know if I do. I think 30 seconds ago just showed you didn't. Yeah, I don't know if I do, to be honest. That's okay, too. But, like, I, yeah. I also have another thing I want to say about, and you guys didn't say this, obviously. But there's there's like a big thing on the internet where it's like oh I didn't like Barbie because I can't relate to Barbie like from guys like I didn't get it I can't relate

from it how are you guys relating to the Joker though like not you guys but like how are you know what I mean I specifically referenced that movie I didn't like that either I didn't like that I think that there is um when there's something like like uh Barbie is more nostalgia necessarily than relating to I think that it's like like, like, uh, Barbie is more nostalgia necessarily than relating to. I think that it's like, if you played with Barbie and Barbie was in your life, you go, Oh,

I had that one. I didn't have that one or whatever. I think something like, I think all movies, like why people, you can watch like murderers and fucking war and things that you haven't been through is I, I think that you like on some level have had, have had thoughts or have thought about having thoughts like that

or acting that way or whatever whereas barbie is like a thing that you either played with or you didn't i think that that is exactly what you just said like you had thoughts you didn't have thoughts you know how many thoughts i've had about like oh one day i'm too thin next day i'm too fat one day i'm not good enough like those are and that's what barbie like like it's so embarrassing because i get emotional about barbie it's so good like and i'm obviously like not really upset with you guys but like this is so embarrassing kfc um but it's so good but like how you feel about the like you're talking about the joker like oh you have like these dark thoughts you can relate to them like that's how barbie like barbie's changing the world like really

like the america ferrara thing like you guys hear it all the time, but it's like, but you feel this way constantly. Yeah, no, I, that's where I get that. It's like, just because maybe I've heard it doesn't mean that it's not very true and very difficult. But you know what? Similar to Barbie, I can articulate my feelings logically while being emotional. I didn't want to say that. I was going to get in a lot of trouble there.

No, you're not in trouble. No, I don't think you're in trouble at all. And I do think your ideas and also your tone of voice. I'm so happy. You're iconic because you're aggressive on the internet. I totally hear you. Emotions are beautiful. Emotions are powerful.

Also, you know what? I kind of do wish that they had touched. You know how Ken gets emotional when he cries at that one part? I kind of wish that they had touched on that a little bit more because I do think men need a video. I think they should have fucking kicked him in the face. Well, yeah, I know. Shut the fuck up, man.

I know, but... I thought the men stuff was so like, again, like it was like basic stuff where like guys who play guitar are annoying. I was like, yeah, no, I know. The Mashbox 20 thing is so funny. I did fall asleep for a little bit. Oh my God, no.

I don't get it. I really don't get it. Oh, your crusade put me to sleep. I think that like... Which isn't a good sign for the movie. Again, we're repeating ourselves a lot. I really don't get it. Oh, your crusade put me to sleep. I think that, like... Which isn't a good sign for the movie. Again, we're repeating ourselves a lot. I already said it on the show, but the... I can't wait to text Keegs that I cried on KFC about Barbie.

I really can't. But I do think, like... Oh, damn it. I do think there needs to be more... First of all, like, men and, like, body image issues or, like, men and, like... There needs to be movies about that. Like, I don't think, like, anyone is questioning that. i think men need to be raised like in a way like i don't think

men need to be raised i don't think like all men are bad all men are rapists all these things like i do think like there someone said this one time and you guys might hate this but it's like not all men but always a man do you know what i mean like not all men are rapists but it's like always a man like you know what i mean but i do think like my life yeah okay yeah but like I feel like that's a bit of an inside joke I get raped occasionally yeah it happens often but what were you wearing I was asleep man he was literally not asking for it he was asking for the opposite of it I do think like I do think like there there definitely needs to be movies like that for men and they need to be comedies because like that and they need to be in a language similar to how barbie was in a language that women wanted to hear it they're like if barbie was that

message was given to us and it was like a political thing and it was like all serious we wouldn't want it yeah there needs to be stuff like that in comedy for men like a million percent like and i'm here for it and i'll buy a ticket and i'll and i'll wear whatever men wear to the movie about depression yeah like i'll wear sad boy merch for the movie about funny depressed guys like i'll do it like there's a lot of those i'm a thousand percent all of them but um no no i'm i'm leaving here i'm leaving here loving you guys more than i came in okay i don't know if i believe you but but that's okay. I really am. Because when I saw your video, I was like, KFC, what the fuck? But I really am leaving here like I'm hearing you guys. I am.

That's all I wanted. I just wanted to be heard. That's all I wanted out of my Barbie. No, I know, but I think that this is just like, honestly, it's just, there's just differences between different types of people. There's differences between men and women. And you know what guys, thanks for going to Barbie.

You got it. Thank you. I think you should have gone to Barbie first. I went to Barbie first and then I didn't see Oppenheimer. You didn't? No, the mood, the sound sucks.

So I left. Oh, cause you didn't see it. The Lincoln center one. Yeah. No, because I just came in town yesterday. I didn't have enough time.

And then I'm leaving, leaving from Montreal. Like tomorrow. Hey, let's go. Okay. No, really. I'm leaving here. Montreal like tomorrow hey let's go okay no really I'm leaving here loving you guys more

I really guys they're good guys all the comments are like no we know we hate her now you're good bye um

so what do I do about my kids what do I do about the kids who are cleaning my apartment I say I think you have here's your your solution, and you're not going to like it. You have to keep them on board and just pay him more.

Oh, buddy. Dude's buying a house tomorrow. John's going to throw stacks the next time this guy cleans. There have been three separate instances where the pay kicked up. You've been in my apartment before. Yeah. I'm not going to say the answer of what it is I pay per hour and a half to two hours it takes to clean.

I want you to guess. Per hour? No, I just Venmo them once afterwards. Right. It's just like, come clean this place. Yes. New York City, $150? Okay, them once afterwards right so it's just like come clean this place yes um new york city uh 150 dollars okay exactly double oh i thought you were gonna say exactly right i was to be fair i was about to go to 200 thinking the new york city tax like a little new york city you know right up uh what it's over you know bump up 300 is probably

too much uh wait i'm trying to think it was it was well he doesn't clean the the the rec room does he oh that's there's nothing in there anymore there's just okay okay but so he doesn't go in there no it's just a punching bag i don't know maybe they sweep the floor right because i'm just thinking like so there's literally nothing to clean. There's hand wraps and a punching bag. He's probably in there just like sweeping that, just making extra money. Like, I'm not doing anything here. Yeah, 300 is – and then a tip?

No, that's with a tip. Okay. That's high. But maybe – I don't know. I've been out of New York City for a little while, so maybe – I don't know. I'm talking like Westchester prices. But I think i can get like my house cleaned for that when when my cousin lived in for a little bit he was like i wasn't even gonna venmo him for like cleaning but he's like he's like no venmo me half i'll i'll go with you and i was like no you don't

have to he said i'll do it so i venmoed him he's like well i said half brother because you're paying way too much yeah and i was like, yeah. And, and there were times where I considered bumping it down a notch, but you can't come back from where you were. And, and then I saw a kid and it got kicked up. It was, it was at, it was at two 60 and then it got,

that's a lot, bro. But, but you shouldn't go higher than that. Like this is, he's probably like, I'm going to bring my kids along and like, and cause we're,

you know, this guy's paying me $300. I've got to make sure we get every fucking corner. Maybe that's it. Maybe you're paying him so much he feels like he needs to bring his kids into work. By the way, the kids don't do a great job. You walk in, you're like, this is the adult clean room and this is the child clean room. I don't even run my dishwasher.

I don't know if they don't have to. They can't reach it, John. They're in a fucking bassinet, dude. My dishwasher's down on the ground. They're in a fucking stroller How can they clean? It is, you know, it's fine I'm glad you mentioned the childcare

Because I was walking over from the gym this morning And I was thinking how crazy it is That I, like, grew up in a gym Because your dad My dad would, like So, like, my mom worked nights Oh, right, didn't you have a Like a babysitter in the gym or something like that?

Yeah, so my mom would work nights She'd drop me off at practice My dad would Didn't you have like a babysitter in the gym or something like that? Yeah. So my mom would work nights. She'd drop me off at practice. My dad would pick me up after practice. He'd go to the gym. And I'd just sit in the gym for like two hours every night. And – It explains so much.

But I mean they had – they had childcare in the gym. Right. But it was like don't – It was like here's a dumbbell. Have fun. Right. It was like don't let the kid die. It wasn't like nurture and care.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. So you just watch your dad like – Just fucking give me a question now. Let's go home. That probably explains quite a bit. But I think it's good. I wish I grew up in a gym. It's like – I was like, it's so weird.

I would get home from my day at like 8 p.m. And it was just spent in the gym. wife fucking just sitting there barbie too much how old were you like i don't know from when i was like like no memories like young young young young until like i don't know until i was old enough to stay home young young to four uh no my dad wouldn't leave me as young as my mom would uh i don't know. Young to like 10. I would like to spend the night in the gym. I mean, I wish I did, man. But the one you would just like. Bro, I remember I would go in costume.

What costume? One time I went as a Rocketeer. I'd go as a Rocketeer. Oh, like a full costume. I dressed as Peter Pan, obviously, for an entire year of my life. Naturally. We know that. Yeah, no kidding.

Every day. What are you wearing today? Can you take a fucking guess, Ma? The same as the last 364, Ma. Bring me the Peter Pan. But then my Rocketeer phase wasn't as long, but I would wear a red leather jacket and a backpack and a Rocketeer helmet. It's pretty on the nose uh i i would probably it's only happened once with the kids because also that maybe that was like oh you know she

usually watches him their grandmother's usually around tonight they weren't true so give it a give it a couple times because my cleaning lady has brought and again we're talking about like a kid who like a teenager who could work, so it's different, but like sometimes he came and sometimes he didn't, and I think it was probably like, you know, just scheduling. There's a 0% chance I do anything about it. Oh, yeah. But just know it makes me incredibly uncomfortable.

You're never going to be in your apartment ever again. You should schedule it. Like start coming during work hours, but you can't because the kids are in school. Now that we're in the thick of summer, you might be looking for wholesome, convenient meals to support sunny and active days. Factor, the ready-to-eat meal kit, can help you fuel up fast with flavorful and nutritious ready-to-eat meals delivered straight to your door. You'll save time, eat well, and stay on track reaching your goals. Too busy with summer plans to cook, but you want to make sure you're eating well? With Factor, skip the extra trip to the grocery store and skip the chopping and the

prepping and the cleaning up too, while still getting the flavor and nutritional quality you need. Factor's fresh, never frozen meals are ready in just two minutes. So all you have to do is heat and enjoy, then get back outside and soak up that warm weather. With Factor, you can rest assured that you're making a sustainable choice. We offset 100% of our delivery emissions, source 100% renewal electricity for our production sites and offices, and feature sustainably sourced seafood in our meals. I know for me, I got two kids. I got two jobs now. I'm always running late.

I don't even have time to do these quick. It only takes 30 minutes. I need to be able to pop a meal out, eat well, get my nourishment, and then get back to work, get back to the kids, get back to the fun. Same thing for them. The whole family can eat, and you don't have to worry about any. I don't care about the grocery store, but the dishes afterwards, it's the absolute worst.

Cut all of that nonsense out of my life. It makes it 10 times easier. So I get Factor Meals. You should too. This July, get F factor and enjoy eating well without the hassle head to factor meals.com slash kfc 50 and use code kfc 50 to get 50 off that's code kfc 50 at factor meals.com slash kfc 50 to get 50 off okay voicemails what's up guys so i've got a fun fact here i I think this one's more tailored towards fights.

Oh, boy. I was watching Blue's Clues with my daughter today, and Tyrese Gibson that played Roman in the Fast series made an appearance. So long before he gave us the cinematic masterpiece that was the Ejecto Cito Cus scene, he was in the season three finale of blues clues teaching young children about kwanzaa so the more you know so got a follow-up question off that what is the most obscure role that you ever saw some actor actress that went on to play

much bigger roles but had some real obscure thing that they did early in their career. Blippi, bro. Blippi's the answer. Blippi, because it's a very similar thing to that. It's like a kid's show like that. I guess it's the opposite. Blippi was where he ended up, not where he was. But what was his name?

It's something man. It's like exacto man or whatever. No, that's what he just said. But anyway, Blippi shitting in his friend's butt i think that's i think it's real too isn't it oh yeah yeah like that was real splatter right i think that's a little shake bro that is that might be i think it's misrepresented when i say in he doesn't he's on his friend he doesn't have accuracy like that that that was a long time ago so i can't say like it was like the end like the rock bottom of the internet but like because we've seen so much since then but the day that people were so

desperate for like clout that they were like i got an idea i'll shit i'll try to shit in your ass. And that one guy was like, deal. Deal. Like, okay. And to be the lesser of those two in that skit, you know what I mean? I'll play the leading role. You play the supporting role. Okay, cool. But in this case, it's me shitting on you.

Whatever. Whatever for the views, man. Oh, crazy. But hey, got to get on that Harlem Shake fucking. It's more accurate than you'd think. Because when I hear shitting in his butt, I thought like a fucking plane docking. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, it's long distance.

It's a fucking... It needed a cutoff. It was. Imagine if you shit someone else's shit onto him. Just a separated fucking... What's cat... Cat of nine tails? No, what's cat – not – Cat of nine tails? No, what's the fucking centipede?

Human centipede. But we're all not together. A long distance human centipede. We haven't been sewed together by a madman. This is all just for fun. We have complete free will. Bro, I sent you one of the funnier moments i feel like in our relationship i sent you in a like serious manner uh a tyrese video yeah to be like come on man like and even

you were like because you i think of as a guy who knows and appreciates and likes early 2000s not that tyrese is ever a rapper but r and b type stuff you weren't like here's tyrese you're like listen to roman pierce can i tell you what i did for you i googled i i i was like for john i want to say his name i would have never known roman pierce uh can i tell you also completely fucked my goddamn fucking instagram algorithm now tyrese yeah do you sending me that video all i have is like inspirational videos now and i had yo i now tyrese yeah do you sending me that video all i have is like inspirational videos now and i had yo i followed tyrese after he came to on our show he's a wild boy on the internet like every day is just like somebody like a video of another person like not

a famous person being like i don't want teachers teaching my kids trans stuff and he's like just in the comments holy shit bro like sometimes it's hardcore shit where he's just like as a father i don't think that women should work thoughts yo kairis kairis is not liking barbie let me tell you what the um i did the uh what you call it fucking i just scrolled last night I tweeted it I got a a clip or a suggested post

like inspirational that says man explains why your 20s are a waste of time and I was like god damn we're getting old

oh I saw that that's just man it's just fucking no Rainn Wilson's not a fucking like not like but at least say Dwight Schrute

yeah right at least know his fictional shrew yeah right fictional name not just man um my answer that question off the top of my head first thing that came to mind was jeremy strong playing the mentally ill brother in the judge that was as specific as a reference gets whoa the judge is a great movie judge is Judge is an underrated movie. Jerry Strong is Kendall. Kendall. Kendall Roy. Yeah, he's one of those method actor weirdos. He plays like...

Retard guy. And he's just Robert Downey Jr.'s brother who got kicked in the head by a horse. I think he was in a car accident. Although they're two very different things. If I remember the movie correctly. Well, kicked in the head of the horse. He's got some brain damage.

And I forget if he was born with it or if he acquired it at some point in his life. But he is just – it's just Kendall Roy. He doesn't look like anything different. It's just Kendall Roy. Being – And then also there's every actor ever being a rapist at some point in Law & Order. Charlie Kelly. Really? Rob McElhaney. Rapist? Yeah. ever being a rapist in at some point in law and order yes charlie kelly uh really rob mcleaney oh yeah i don't know if it's rapist but they're they're the criminals or at least uh i i do you

watch law and order you'll go which is the most accurate of all time the pointing oh that's what people do every time yeah next up what's going on kfc radio my name is nick i'm from westchester new york um weeks ago you guys talked about pigeons and if we have them in the suburbs, because you've never seen a pigeon in the suburbs. So I've been trying to trying to film these little guys. We do have pigeons. Look at that. We have pigeons. This is up in northern Westchester. They are different color, though. I don't know really what's up with that. Maybe, I don't fucking know. Maybe Fun Fat Girl can figure that out. But we got pigeons up here in the suburbs.

Those are seagulls. I don't believe it. I don't believe it. If it's lives, then it's a pigeon. One of the all-time great. I don't fucking know. Maybe Fun Fat Girl can figure that out. We're good, we're good. One of the all-time great urban don't fucking know. Maybe Fun Fat Girl can figure that out. We're good.

We're good. One of the all-time great urban legends is or I don't know. I was going to say is it an urban legend? I've never been around a sociopath to do it.

That's the thing. It better be an urban legend. I think it's I think Can you Google that? Somebody does Alka-Seltzer explode pigeons? It's I think

Or seagulls, right? Seagulls is I think it's any bird. But it used to be portrayed to me as seagulls at the beach. I think it's any bird. It used to be portrayed to me as seagulls at the beach. I think I've heard it explained. I think they don't actually explode, but I think they shit until they die.

I think it kills them. You could probably say that about Tylenol, anything you feed it. But I had this image of Randy Johnson and it would just pop, explode. So it would be ineffective at killing a pigeon. On the whole, birds do not generally pass wind in the same way as people,

but they do not produce as much gas because they have a much lower proportion of bacteria within the gut. Birds don't fart. They pass wind much better than people. Who do you think is the worst farter? Cows. Cows are the worst farter? Cows. Cows are the worst farts on the planet. They're like ruining the planet with their farts. They fart so bad that the planet is going to hell.

I would imagine after that is probably... The Barstool office. Yeah. It would probably go cows, Frank. All right. Last voicemail. What do we got? What's up, KFC? Fights.

Whole gang. A little behind on the podcast. I was on vacation last week so I'm catching up on a lot of them. Just listened to the episode where you guys were talking about what age you could pass off as. Curious to see what you guys think about me.

I'll give Jackie a second to guess here because she was fucking terrible at it. I'll pause it it let jackie guess i bet she's gonna be way fucking off um but i uh i'm 26 i know a little rough up top but that's all right um so catch up with the podcast i thought of a random question um and i was putting on a belt the other day and i had the realization that like why do men have like two different color belts and it's for obviously fashion color whatever the fuck uh and then i realized like that was one thing like one really minute thing that i thought like becoming a man a grown adult was was going from a two-sided belt where you could like flip the buckle to two different

colors like a brown belt and the black belt. So like cushion is like, what other, uh, what like really minute things do you think are like, so that there is, I, I still appreciate a good flippable belt,

but it is like, if someone called me out and we're like, that's fucking white trash or like you're a 15 year old, I'd be like, yeah, I get it. Um, that's a good question.

Whiskey, whiskey, force, I get it. That's a good question. Whiskey? Whiskey. Forcing whiskey upon yourself as a man who's like, I should drink whiskey and it's going to be my drink. And if you don't like it, you still do it anyway. That's definitely a grown man thing. Reading the paper. Reading the paper is, I don't know, anymore. Maybe back then.

That's not really going to be a thing anymore, though. No, no, no. But that was like for your when I was like growing up, like something I thought of was like, oh, that's what men do. I think I think getting a nice is

hate Barbie. I think getting a nice jacket is kind of a thing. That's more of like something I think you should do. Yeah. But like you should go ahead and spend, you know, a decent chunk. That's not really the essence of his question though.

I don't know. It's a good question. Like what little things. Comfortable being naked. That's probably a good one. Like the gym. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Just letting your balls swang.

But it's not. It's really just around the fellas. You still get nervous being naked around a girl, right? Yeah. It's funny. Around a guy. Dude, I've been hitting the sauna in the gym after I work out. Naked? No, it's very funny.

I'm fully clothed with over-ear headphones on. You put clothes on? I don't put clothes on, but I just go from my workout into the sauna. Oh, okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's fine. Not that it's not fine. Don't on, but I just go from my workout into the sauna. Oh, okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's fine. Not that it's not fine. Don't say anything.

I'm the only one in there like that. I just sit in the corner by myself. Wait, you're not doing a steam room, are you? You're doing a sauna? Sauna. With the wood and shit? Yeah. Okay.

Steam room clothes on is crazy. That's like being in a shower. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I did that, actually, in Amsterdam. I walked into the wrong one, and I was too embarrassed to walk out right away. So I just sat there and got soaked. Even better. I didn't want to embarrass myself, so I stayed in the pool in my clothes.

I'm not meant to be here. Totally. This was a decision I made and I'm happy with it. There's got to be a good one. I want to end on a good one because that is a good question. Something that – Shoe horns? That – no.

To me, that is – i'm just thinking about childhood and describing things my dad but that's what i mean like that i think of shoe polish and a shoe horn as like that's some old man shit bro my dad used to pay me a nickel per shoe i shined what my dad used to pay me a nickel bro you think we're born in like the great depression uh i think i might have been a quarter it was changed straight up getting your shoes shined i think it's kind of like an old man thing like eventually i mean it's it's fine like you should just have like nice shoes but like i used to do it when i first started working that's that's a good one i used to do that when i first started working and i was like this is silly and i felt really bad like that you want to talk about guilt with like your child workers you got some some minority dude shining your shoes i'm like holy shit this is not good two dollars please

i'm like what the fuck here's a million you just like got down i'm like sitting above you you like get down on your knees and you clean my dirty feet and there's just a thing it was in grand central it was just like a thing yeah it's like, I'm never doing this again. My dad referenced everyone's shoes in the Barstool Frankie Brelli wedding picture. He's like, no one here ever shoe shined before? See? That's exactly it. He's like, Tommy Brelli, the only guy who's ever heard of a shoe shine. Not Tommy Brelli, Tommy Smokes.

I feel like I had brown shoes smokes. I feel like you can... I had brown shoes on. I feel like brown is... I don't know. I've always thought it was like a black shoe polish. Get the shiny black shoes. Yeah.

But I guess you can have shitty brown shoes too. But that... It all probably centers around ties, belts, shoes, you know,

like that sort of shit. Yeah. I didn't... I don't know. The belt one wasn't one for me, actually. You always had belts? Maybe a handkerchief. You carry a disgusting bacteria thing in your pocket.

Come on. We're talking about these things are dead in the dirt, bro. These are just things. I'm just thinking what the men in my family did. But that is. Watch my dad fucking blow his nose and stuff. Your dad did? My grandfather did.

Oh, my dad did, yeah. Well, my one grandfather. He doesn't anymore. I will never forget this. Never in my life. Watching my dad's dad take it out. Like, and he just went. And put it right back in.

And I was like six or something. And I was like. And he just went and put it right back in. And I was like six or something. And I was like, I'll never see him again. Like, I'll never see him the same way again. He was dead in the box. I'm saying my prayer at the wake. And I was like, dear grandpa, that one time was so weird. I can't believe you did that. The snot definitely got all over your hands and shirt.

I love you. Goodbye. Probably snot definitely got all over your hands and shirt. I love you. Goodbye. Probably in his pocket. Totally gross. The worms were crawling in there going, this is disgusting. All right. Interview time. How are you?

Fucking, you know. You're basically on your way back out, right? Like after this? Toxic girl summer. Toxic girl. Are we running back there? Toxic Girl Summer. Toxic Girl, that's good. Are we running back there? Toxic Girl Summer. Talk to me about that. Dude, it's underway.

Yeah, I mean, we're like halfway through, right? Summer's over. Nah. Toxic Girl lives on. You gotta drop the summer. I mean, summer doesn't start in LA until like October, so I've got to stretch.

I'm just warming up. I just slid in Drake's DMs yesterday. How'd that go? Not great. Did he read it though? No. Bummer. I literally was like, I'm in New York in case you want to blow my back out and buy me a Rolex.

Is that what he said? Yes! Caught right to the fucking chain. I'm in New York in case you want to blow my back out and buy me a Rolex. Caught right to the fucking chase. Every girl that I know he's fucked had got a Rolex. Really? Yeah. And I'm like, it's really hard to get a Rolex right now. Like even if you have the cash,

which you know now, cause you're fucking rich. It's hard to get a Rolex. I'm not buying Rolexes though. Well, I am. Wait, that is some shit. Like we, when we were growing up in new york we always heard about derrick jeter's gift baskets yeah if you get fucked by jeter you get a gift basket that included

like a signed ball and i'm sure i'm sure there was like some nice shit i don't know makeup perfume but it was like i think of a gift basket i think of like little chintzy shit you know and then a fucking signed autograph once a signed ball like thanks dude i just fucking drained your balls i don't want your fucking baseball but it'd be a baseball that though a rolex yeah i know three girls that do you think he has like a closet of them it's just like here you go like yeah i mean he said in an interview that he has like a whole closet full of Birkin bags for his future wife. Yeah, but... I don't want those.

I just want a fuck one. To be clear. I'm trying to bury you. I don't want the dead lady bag. I'll have the fucking Rolex. Well, now, does it matter if it's a Rolex from Drake or if some other dude

slid in your DMs right now and was like, I heard you on KFC Radio. I'll give you a Rolex. Would you take it? Of course. I just want to know if it's the Drake or the Rolex that matters that matters but you know i'm not gonna fuck a stranger for a rolex well how bad do you want it girl if he's got if he's got i'll give you a rolex for free money he's probably not a total

yeah i've had a few like wild people in my dms that just like are like trying to send me money for nothing like i'm like do you want you want to see my tits or what? And then they send it. Yeah. Yeah. And they literally, you literally don't have to do anything. Yeah.

You don't even have to be like, thanks for showering me with your money, daddy. And like, give him a boost. It's like not a king thing. It's one guy. That's like a young tech guy in Austin.

And he just, the first thing I did, I posted on my Instagram. I was like, somebody buy me these sunglasses. Joking. It was like, why sell sunglasses? He's like, what tech guy in austin and he just the first thing i did i posted on my instagram i was like somebody buy me these sunglasses joking it was like ysl sunglasses he's like what's your cash app i sent it to him he sent me 1700 and then i was like i'm not buying those fucking glasses that's the new shit i'll i'll fuck you to pay my taxes yeah and then he just continually like on my birthday he sent me 1500 he'll just like send me money every once in a while

no nothing you don't even text back you know i mean like every once in a while we chat but it's like it's not he's like actually kind of funny and cool but there's no there's nothing he's gotta have some like uh save your kink or whatever i don't know what they call it like you gotta save people yeah i don't know dude everything's a kink now yeah i just like giving away money no bro that's jj waltz gotta save your cake now listen you you you give away money to random people first of all it becomes a kink if you do it to a pretty girl if you send me money it's not a kink you do it to a girl is yeah give me money or else you're a pervert if that's if that's your thing no there's been some guys that are like they want to simp you know what i

mean they're like yell at me and tell me i'm a piece of shit and i have a small dick and i'll give you my whole paycheck and i was like i don't feel comfortable see i would fucking have no problem doing that yeah i don't like that's where we draw the line paycheck are you gonna be home well okay worried about your well-being well that i understand i'm like what is your whole paycheck and then he's like 2300 i was like for two weeks work like you're not in a position yeah you're not in a position to be throwing away money i i feel like uh like those guys don't i mean you got to be really committed to your kink to actually give away all your money like they might tell you that part of the fucking you know little game you're playing

but hang on a second I'm doing math to my head right now you just showed up I'm slow with math $2,300 that's a bi-weekly paycheck supposed to be like $10,000 it's not enough to be thrown away

I would do all that shit what's the weirdest thing you've done for money um well I haven't done it yet but there's the weirdest thing you're gonna do for money there's a pending situation in my dms right now where a guy wants bro what do you just i'm sorry to interrupt you but do you just dm all the job is just the dm i'm waiting for drink so many dms i would imagine your dms are countless they're so horrific um they're a really bad place to be but then you might find so wait what is this pending situation the pending situation is a guy wants to pay me 25 000 for a nude and i'm just like why is it pending why is it not completed why have you not done it 10 times a hundred times just fire one off from the fucking the bank you got you know what i mean no i know i know but the thing is i'm i'm kind of like if i'm gonna do that

back to our only fans conversation like yeah well then you know let's have the discussion but even only fans i mean they're not giving out 25 for a picture like one picture no but like my friends on only fans make like 200 grand a month i know we have talked about this but they also they put in some work right yeah you know it's a consistent thing or you got to go like over a certain line to just be like tasteful nude 25k uh i don't know i'm gonna do it for sure whatever like even if i have like one more glass of wine it's happening literally was like he's like if i send you a thousand dollars will you send me a picture of you in a bikini so i just took all the pictures of me that are already in a bikini off instagram

i resent him one and he's like this is fucking perfect i was gonna say this you gotta control the supply and demand bro this is you're on the app it's on yeah i took everything down and then just reset it it was like this is fucking awesome 25k for a nude is a is a level of power that is pretty fucking awesome yeah also a pretty good boost of esteem self-esteem like not really just i want the money yeah i don't need any more confidence clearly as we're trying to get last night i'm okay would you who do you think is the most unattainable attainable guy right now in that

sort of scenario like certain guys aren't even on. Nobody's unattainable. Okay. Certainly not a lack of. I will disagree. I am. If my DMs aren't. He actually might be. I am unattainable.

You can't. Why? Are they turned off? Number one, I'm scared of women. Number two. You should be. You have a dicey past. You should be. I don't like how much laughter

comes from behind the screen. Everybody should be afraid of women. I'm afraid of women. I'm like a kid. All the lessons I learned as a child, I've just applied to grown-up life where it's like, don't get candy. Don't do that.

Like, it's just become. Just now candy is pussy. Yeah. And it's like, hey, do you want to hook up? I'm like, absolutely not. I don't know. Right. You're like, I'm gay.

I have a homosexual. No, you are just giving away no fucking chance, dude. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We don't want it that easy. It's like terrorism yeah it's like drug dealing kind of like i'm gonna give you a taste and get you hooked and then i'm gonna fucking it's not it's a nigerian prince but it's it's a nigerian prince but for some reason like if you fall for the nigerian prince it's like you're a fucking idiot everybody falls for

some pussy it's made off it's made off yeah. You get me paid a little bit. Oh, things are going well. This is working. I see the results. Yeah. And then it all comes crashing down. But, but it, it's just the,

it's the, we, we do, we call it the me too, too movement where we're fighting back. Yeah. The men are fighting back. You should.

And yeah, because women's, I mean like, listen, believe some women. That's the new slogan totally but let's totally get them in front of a therapist and run a diagnostic to see if they're bad shit fucking crazy because some women are making shit up someone should not be believed yeah like i mean that is just the fact like look them dead in the eyes see if there's crazy in there and if there is maybe don't believe them

i would never i'd take it you know what i mean i'm taking some things that i shouldn't take just because i'm like yeah part of the game baby like everyone's like rape i'm like oh that just used to be called a side effect of drinking i have always thought no i'm not gonna go that right i just always thought it's easy you know if you're in a bad situation you might as well just enjoy it yeah yeah i have uh i have a new joke in that in that vein that's uh really making some people mad i'm sure it is in that thing in the rape arenape arena is just called her bedroom. That's what I'm going to do to Drake. He's at Madison Square Garden today.

He's going to be in the rape arena tomorrow. That'll be Drake's mistake. If I don't fuck Drake, it's going to be a problem. that'll be drake's mistake okay so so when problem i feel i feel like even like if you fuck a crazy girl even you know drake like if it's true crazy you're kind of fucked like even you can have you can try to pay her off you know like there's a million things and and probably like okay i'm i'm crazy but I'm not crazy enough to turn down like a hundred grand to just disappear. I'm crazy, but I'm not crazy enough to like blah, blah, blah.

But then there might be, you know, I don't care if you're Drake, I don't care who you are. If you fuck the truly craziest girl, you've got a problem for life on your hands. Maybe. But at that level, you have fixers. Right. And they're like ex-mob people. So I was going to say, does it get to the point of you have to go away because it's dangerous otherwise? Yeah.

That's crazy. I've come across a fixer in my life. You have? Oh, yeah. What did you do to bring the fixer? No, I'm not going to talk about it. I'm going to just talk about it, but I'm not going to talk about it. I mean, just basically, it's like an ex-mob person yeah and they're like and it's like a

threat they're like yeah fucking step in line okay I'm not gonna ask you what you did but I didn't do anything in retrospect was the fixer in the right or are you still like no like that was it wasn't that big of an issue I'm just saying like just throwing bricks through his window somebody with like a ton of status and anything goes even a little sideways, they have someone from the fucking mob. And it's also like they're trying to protect me also. You know what I mean?

Because you can get yourself in trouble when you're fucking around with really high status people. That's good to know, though. That's good to know that they really are just playing on a different level. Yeah. Because sometimes I'm just like, how does this guy or this person or whatever get away with like all of this and like nothing ever backfires and it's like oh well that's fucking it's fucking mob yeah the mafia that's you know that group of people they make movies about yeah all the time

they're like retired mafia you know what i mean mean i'm no longer killing people what i do is like scare girls i mean sometimes it's necessary easier you can have money but you don't have like connections or mob money or whatever where it's like yeah you're rich but like you got a problem on your hands and it's not going away yeah i need to meet people i've got a guy i can send you his number i still have his information he texts me on my birthday every year to remind me man that is interesting i don't think i've ever like really heard that or understood that afterwards yeah that's That's a podcast right there. Yeah. Jesus.

So Toxic Girl Summer, what else? Toxic Girl Summer. Well, you reminded me that the Anaheim Angels were a team. Yeah. This was, like, just the female. Like, the power of the pussy on display was just, like, I don't even know. Oh, it was when the Angels were down, like, 24-0 in, like, the second inning. i don't even know oh the it was when the angels were down like 24 nothing in like the second inning i don't remember that it was like a couple it was when i was in canada

they were just getting like an all-time ridiculous stat and i i posted that and no it was about your favorite pitcher going over there from the oh oh yeah okay yeah yeah and i was like oh i forgot the angels were a team and i was like on the on the back end of literally the worst road trip of my entire life, like being on the road. And I was just like, let me look at this roster. And I was like, ooh, bingo, baby. Scroll through a roster, find a guy. Slid in his fucking DMs. I'm like, what up?

It is insane. Beautiful. He got back to me in like two hours. I'm like, this is perfect. It's just like. Dude, see, that's like why I would not open. I don't open DMs because I'm like, well, they're going to see I've seen it. And if I don't open it, I can't see your profile.

So I'm like – I have to get like the jewelry diamond glass to be able to be like – Okay. But it's not – Yeah, going to profile pictures is that big. Yeah, yeah. I'm not even going to do that. You can look at profiles without opening it. Can you? Yeah. Just didn't even know then. Yeah. Yeah, going to profile pictures is that big. Yeah, yeah. You can look at profiles without opening it. Can you?

Yeah. Didn't even know that. Yeah. Yeah, I mean, they're really close to this shit. It's just too much effort. It's too much. Are your DMs just flooded? You sound overwhelmed.

I don't know. Maybe. They could be. I mean, he is just like DM resistant. Like DM. See, I think it's better to be that way. You're probably like a better person to actually then be with because like the fact that this guy got back to me in two hours i'm

like you're fucking trash i'll fuck you i'll fuck you till you're dead but you are i i feel like uh you would be like I almost want to set up a challenge, you know, like you versus the most toxic chick and like, see who wins. Well, I'm over to, so,

so far, so far, they're kicking my ass. I can't believe I said that. It has to come out of my mouth. I was like, we've already had this. It's just called your life. It's just called your life already. We're in out of my mouth, I was like, we've already done this.

It's just called your life. It's just called your life already. We're in a hole right now, but we've got to go home. Once you lose one home court, then seriously. Seriously, I just started until you went on. But what you know now, because you are like, I'm not going in the DMs, and I'm not doing this, and I'm not doing that like now you're battle tested yeah now i feel like you're at least head on a swivel for the toxic yeah and you're like you're in the locker room like yeah yeah yeah like you being like yo i will

not get got but there's some toxic girl out there in a straight jacket he's like, her. That's the one. There. Hey, baby, you want a Rolex? I got a rape arena. That's behind your back. You'll never be able to read it. She also, I can't tell time. It's fucking boring. Every watch, I have to get her one that looks like Dolly

just so she can read it. Digital Rolex. every watch i have to get her one that looks like dolly just so she can read it digital rolex if a girl put the full court press on you though you think you would still just be like not opening that not reading that don't care i would not know she would if i saw you don't even think so if a truly like about that life, toxic chick wanted you and, and was like, I will find a way to get his number. I will text his phone. He will see my text.

He will see my DM, whatever. And you think you would still be like, Oh no. Once I see it, it's okay. Once it's, once it's seen,

Oh, I'm there. It's like, it's some pocket it's some real like an alcoholic who can't even go to a bar once it's there it's just it's not I can't be around

yeah it is there is something that it's very unique when it's like it's just two different brains you know what I mean there's your smart brain and your dumb brain but you know it's like don't like I'm never getting involved in that it's part of the same reason you're involved in it again because i get involved with it with like like never another athlete and i'm like right back to it literally on the way here i was looking at all the new york rosters there's so many

ugliest teams in all of the sports there's not one attractive person on one new york team i was like i can't even look at like all four major sports? Oh, yeah. Jesus. I was just cruising. It is really toxic, girls. Yes. This is the insanely toxic girls.

It's so much easier now because back in my day, you used to have to go like fucking hang out at a hotel or like go to the club, find them out in the wild, drink and drive. I mean. Yeah. hang out at a hotel or go to the club find them out in the wild drink and drive the good old like good old days cackle dude dude the drink i literally capture them in the wine yeah it's like spear hunting yeah i i was i was dude i'm this is how bad i am with with drinking where like great tom brady is in the news this morning he um he was seen dropping uh arana irina sheik whatever name is dropping her off at her hotel oh so he's fucking her huh yeah i thought that was gonna be a fake like yeah they just no because he was seen

caressing her face in the car and i was like that's seven superbowls confidence i've never touched a woman's face sober casually. See, but I almost think he's weirdo and doesn't know how to... Dude, that's some Lafarge. I think it's weird. I don't know. Would you like that?

No. I think that's like he doesn't know how to do it. No, I just don't. He's not attractive to me. He's white. No, I'm open. Open for business?

Yeah. Equal opportunity employer. But they were like... Diversity is going on. Representation. As opposed to he's representative. It was like Tom Brady scene dropping her off at her hotel. And I was like...

My brain first went, Brady's driving drunk. I couldn't process that. He had had sex and drove someone afterwards. I was like, what the fuck? Brady's out there getting DUI'd. That's very funny. When I was standing in my apartment this morning, just like, just standing there, like getting dressed or whatever. And I was like,

Jesus, Tom, can I clean it off? And then I looked up in the mirror and I was like, you clean it up. Tom's doing fine. You clean it up. It is interesting.

It'll be interesting to watch him. he is there's you know there's probably like how many how many guys you think are on that level when it comes to like like like three or four of them when it comes to like we know of because i mean he's just so famous but there's like a lot of people yeah i'm saying like you you can't as an athlete you can like sleep around and date and then as like a mega athlete you got to kind of be a little more quiet and then that's like a top top level i mean but you say that but like you have to you have to yeah yeah be smart yeah yeah like he is going to be seen it's gonna be paparazzi like every time he's next to a woman you know but he's so kind of like a weird robot that i'm i don't know if he's next to a woman, you know? But he's so kind of like a weird robot that I don't know if he's even like, I don't think he knows how to do it.

I think Tom Brady knows how to like be single and like fuck chicks. No, I think he's so awkward. He probably like just like throws a football at her. You guys don't respect Tom Brady. So my other thought is everything he does, it's greatness. Maybe he's going to be the greatest of all time at it.

But I can see him being like. Tom Brady dated Tara Reid in the Tara Reid years. Don't worry about Tom Brady with women. He knows how to handle his ladies. Tom Brady dated Tara Reid when Tara Reid was Tara Reid. Yeah, that was probably a fucking – You should date Tara Reid. She's a crystal lady now.

I read an article on her recently. Oh, is she? That track. Yeah. That makes sense. I think he's gonna like I mean he'll just be in the paparazzi

every time and if he I think he'll figure it out he can be sneakier he just that's what I mean he needs some guidance he needs a mentor

he needs somebody to help him out but he doesn't like run in that circle he needs someone on his team to be like and he doesn't have one anymore

you know what I mean I'll hit him up. I'll slide in his team. I'll put him through the ringer. But I don't want to fuck him. I just want to tell him how to be more slick. What do they call it? SEER training? SEER, S-E-R-E. It's like basically they do like CIA

people where they kidnap you and torture you, but it's your guys doing it. That's weird. Is that? You're going to come out the other way. This is for your own good so we know where you can break. Waterboarding. It'll come out better, I promise.

I don't want to do this, but I have to do it for your own good. You're going to get caught. We need to know how you react once caught. I feel like no matter what you've experienced, Tom might be a different animal. I think you're wrong. I think you don't know what I've experienced. I feel like even he might just be that.

I don't know. He's just so different, I think, because he is just. He doesn't seem like he has a personality. Yeah. I think that's the problem. He seems like a robot. Yes, right the problem. He seems like a robot. Yes, right. He looks like a robot. I think people expect a certain thing from him.

And if he's going to be dropping supermodels off at the hotel and shit, he's not going to get that. It's just going to be different for him than anybody else. I understand the robot assumption because I see it now, too. He's a walking billboard. He also is looking like a robot now. Whatever he's doing to his face, he's turning into a robot. But he's also like,

if you're going to talk personality, I don't think he's been in locker rooms for 25 years. I don't think anyone's ever walked out and been like, that dude's the fucking man. Everyone says that. He's the fucking coolest dude.

He's the nicest. Really? Yeah. No one's ever left the locker room and been like, Tom Brady sucks. Fuck that guy. I think it's a little bit like like two no one's ever left the locker room and been like tom burry sucks fuck that guy i think i think it's a little bit like i think there's probably some people who's a little bit weird but we win all the time and he's cool you know i don't think people don't say weird you're like he's just the coolest nicest guy in the world i guess when you

okay well maybe he's the fucking best don't talk about bad combat on this show maybe he's untouchable maybe he's my guy um so you think it's it's just that much easier for so it's easier for chicks these days right but then i also think it's like it's easier but then it's also not because there's so many right that's what i mean so many women it's like i'm up against these fucking 20 something like fucking snacks and i like, I want to fuck these bitches, too. But I'm like, fuck. These girls are young, and they're hot, and everything looks... When I was 20, I looked like shit. I don't know.

Yo, because you weren't, like, all over the internet. Now it's like, I'm going to have to look hot because, like, the whole world's going to see me. Right. Because I'm, you know, so out there. Yeah. I'm like, it's a miracle I was getting laid when I was 20. I looked like a fucking troll. All those pictures of people being like,

this is what I looked like when I was 14. Yeah. It's like they look like supermodels now. And it's like, yeah, I went through an awkward phase. They went through their famous phase. Yeah. Guys, girls, all of it. It's fucking crazy.

So I definitely think it's harder to keep someone's attention. You know what I mean? You can get it quickly, but then like keeping it. And I'm like, I don't want to keep a fucking athlete's attention, by the way. Yeah. Pretty easy. Bounce a ball. Go play ball.

Okay. Bring it back. Bring it back. I mean, we even with Barstool, when we were first blogging, we would be like we would do local smoke show of the day and people would send in, like, this is the girl from high school, this is the girl from college, whatever. And we were like, oh my God, that's like the prettiest girl

I've ever seen in my life. And within like a couple years, Instagram was out. And it was like, oh, wait a minute, there's like a ton of these. It's crazy. I mean, I think maybe when I was married, I just wasn't paying attention

to how hot the girls were. But now I'm like, it's an attack. Yeah, I would be very insecure like i being a guy it's not even nearly about looks as much as it is for a girl and i'm still like oh this sucks for a girl oh my god yeah it sucks but also i have a personality and other things going for me and i'm like those girls are just like, you know, hot tits, hairdressers. I'm like. I got places to wear a Rolex.

You wear a Rolex to intro to biology? Get the fuck out of here. I travel the country and I'm sad in a bunch of different states. That's me, baby. I've got. Yeah, I've got personality. It's called depression. How you said your last trip on the road was terrible.

Horrible. Was it just like because you're. Just traveling is fucking. Sucks. Yeah, it's just personality. It's called depression. You said your last trip on the road was terrible? Horrible. Was it just like because you're – Just traveling is fucking – Sucks. Yeah, it's just fucking gnarly. Are you still going like all over all the time? Oh, yeah. I'm not done until November 16th, I don't think.

Dude, when I have like a 10-day stretch where I have like, all right, we got a big week at work. And then on the weekend, I got gotta like go away and do that thing and then like two things after that i'm like the next seven to nine days are gonna be awful awful if i had to if i looked at my calendar and i was like yeah it'll slow down in november yeah i'd put a bullet in my head yeah that's right but then but then you guys always keep doing it to yourself so deep down you love it more than you hate it. No. It's my first time. Then why do you do it? Well, I don't know. I'm trying to marry rich, dude.

As soon as that happens, I won't. Yeah. Trying to marry rich and fucking pop out someone's baby and get out of the game. I'm like, I don't even want a kid. I just want the security of 18 years. I don't want the kid at all. You are a sick pup. You are the final boss of Sweden.

I literally just want a rich guy with a bunch of money and my kid can just have a nice life with its nanny. He is the final boss of toxicity. Unbelievable. I like how you and I are like, this is fucking awesome. This is Brittany's doing it right. This is entertaining as hell.

Meanwhile, I got fucking demons rattling around my head. I feel like fucking Private Ryan playing playing call of duty this is fun but i mean yeah i just told my team the other day i was like i can't do another tour i was like i'll fucking kill myself so i gotta figure something else out these jokes are fucking stupid nobody needs to hear this shit i mean your act was great when we were out in L.A. I mean, I can't even imagine that after several more months of working on it and shit. Must have people gasping in the crowd. Yeah, it's pretty dark.

It's pretty much like the darkest. The dead mom shit just fucking boom. Set the tone real quick. Yeah, and I've got about 10 minutes of that like the dead mom and open about like my sex life fucking people in sports is two things that people are just like holy shit yeah I've got a few more people I'm outing in sports

so again we think I got a good laugh on it how come homeboy didn't have the mob come through on that one huh well he's a Jehovah's Witness and I have the mob come through on that one, huh? Well, he's a Jehovah's Witness, and I think the mob just went to him. I think it went straight to his house and probably put him in a cage.

He had to take Instagram off his phone. He's pretty much dead now. I don't even know that. That's a 20% to 2023. He's got no Instagram. He's dead. He's dead. He's got erased from existence because he's Je erased from existence. Pulse check on him.

Yeah. I wish him well. You're terrifying. Yeah, well, you know, that's what you get for peeing in my mouth. You better hope that I don't fucking get smart and get a microphone. That's got to be something for bugs if i was in a room dude that's gotta be such a thing because i imagine that was was before you were a comic yeah yeah so you're like that's an all-time backfire there's no way i didn't think this

i knew she was gonna become a comic i want to just pee like on her head yeah that is that's not cool like that's gotta be he was watching like as you get more and more popular just like yeah yeah you should never have sex with someone until they're in the middle of their career yeah for real you're comfortable with this rest of your life that's great advice all around yeah don't fuck anybody until you know like where they're at for life i mean to be fair he thought i mean i was doing really well in advertising he probably thought i was just gonna stay there and that. Yeah, that's a lot different than curveball, baby. People give me microphones now.

God. Yeah. I said it before. I can't imagine after that happened the amount of dudes who were probably just like, oh, fuck. No, no, no, no. Hey, how are you? Oh, my God.

So many people. Please, like, hey, I hope you're good. Hope you're well. Do you want a Rolex? Oh, no. Straight up keep my name out of your mouth. Yeah. Keep my name out of your mouth.

And I'm like, well, now you're going to my set. I was going to say, that's the fastest way to- I was like, I forgot that you were alive. Right. And that we fucked. Right. And now- Yeah, the audacity.

Yeah. You think I remembered you? Yeah. We fucking the rape arena, dude. The fucking whorehouse. The rape arena. This is what I call it. The rape arena.

The rape arena. Some foul shit. That is some really foul shit that is some really foul i mean i'm picturing like the fucking coliseum are you not entertained just me with a strap on we were debating this uh a little while ago like the way I think we were saying that the way porn I think our logic was like anal used to be something that you would see in porn and you know a couple people here and there are doing it in real life

and now it's become regular so what is or more you know more accepted whatever what do you think is the thing going on in porn right now that will become like yeah that just happens regularly i don't watch porn no i know i know i create no no i am no in 2012 i was addicted to porn i like would not show up to work and i was like true addiction yeah yeah like because that's one of those things when people say like i'm addicted to sex or addiction to porn people go like that, that's not a thing. Yeah, no, I would, like, call in sick to work and, like, just watch porn.

All day? All day. Eight hours. Really? It was, like, one of the only ways I could not be hungover. It would, like, get me out of my hangover. Okay, but it was tied to, like... Being an alcoholic.

Yeah. If you don't drink now, you still think you couldn't, like, you couldn't control yourself? I have no interest because I feel like every time I go on Pornhub I try and find something and it all makes me so sad I'm like these girls aren't enjoying it this is it you know what I mean I'm like they're not and also like all that I mean it's just like grody to me and I guess maybe if it was like premium nice porn I could watch it but it's just like there's a curveball I would not expect that yeah fucking watch and make love over here. What is Make Love? Make Love.

Oh, I thought you said Make Love. What's a Mc... Maybe that's the next thing in porn. Bro, bring that up with your therapist, please. I heard the phrase Make Love and went, what's a McLove? Your brain could not even process the words Make Love. I thought you were being gay. I thought you were getting gay I know you were getting gay

what's a McLo where do you get one of those I just got one monopoly over here got a McLo yeah no so I don't know what's going on

in porn that's crazy but I will say everyone's eating ass I mean like back in my day that maybe was what we were talking

about maybe that's what it was yeah everyone's eating ass which is great by the, back in my day, That maybe was what we were talking about. Maybe that's what it was instead of anal. Yeah. Everyone's eating ass. Which is great, by the way.

The baseball player fucking ate my ass all day. I was like, fucking awesome. Yeah, I can't. Gen Z. I can't imagine the world. Gen Z.

Gen Z. Yeah, that's not going away. That's just part of the repertoire now. That's just regular. After he ate my ass, I was like,

how old are you? And he told me, and I was like, I knew you were young. So this is a young man's name. Yeah, I was like, how old are you? And he told me, and I was like, I knew you were young. So this is a young man's name. Yeah, I feel like if you miss that window, and you're a guy who's older, you're like, what the fuck? Yeah.

But if you're in that window, you're like, what's the problem? Yeah. Topping a pussy. Yeah. What's the problem? So when was the last time you watched porn? Like 10 years ago? I mean, I think I maybe tried to watch one

like a year ago or something. And you were just like, oh, get this McLove off me. I'm just not interested. If I can't use my imagination to make myself cum, I don't deserve it. I don't mind that angle. Yeah.

The toxicity is just flying. Just levels of toxic. It's fake fake is. Extensive. Yeah. The toxicity is just flying. Just levels of toxic. It's fake fake is. Extensive. Yeah. I mean, we were talking about not having not watched it a lot recently, but cutting it off entirely is an interesting. Yeah. But I'm also.

Crazy. Crazy bitch. I mean, a girl. I think it's different for girls, right i would imagine yeah i mean that's something that i think girls sometimes will be like no it's it like we are but it's just like i can take care of myself right you you guys i think you guys have you can flip the switch off yeah and when the switch is on it's as crazy but when the switch is on, it's as crazy. But when the switch is off, there's no off switch. Right. And that's how you can bring down fucking –

Empire. Tear guys down. Yeah. Ruined people's lives. But you're just going to power through and keep going on the road, huh? Yeah, I have to. I mean, I'm on tour, so I got to keep going. I feel like, though –

Where are you from? Wisconsin. I knew you said tour weird your tour i have tried so hard oh my god my friend sent me like the last day of senior year she took a video of us and i'm like i truly believe that i did not have a wisconsin accent and the video is like oh my god i was in stat class today and i got an a on the test. I was like, burn this. Did you actually, like you made an effort to get rid of it?

Oh yeah. Yeah. I mean, like how'd you do that? You just sit around just like repeating things? No. Just like every time you talk, you just sit around. I'm not right now.

You just adjust, I think. You know, I got to the coast and I was like, oh, we're not talking like that. We're not saying, we're not saying bag. We're not like, oh my God. Dude, the bag, I went to Minneapolis recently and like the woman who picked up at the airport was like

talked a lot first of all but like like talked like she was a a cartoon character giving a tour of minneapolis where it was just like everything she said was so yeah like cliche like punchy yeah like you know the state bird in Minneapolis the mosquito and then it was like we got two seasons here in Minnesota we got winter and we got construction and I was like alright dude shut the fuck up

and drive the car you said shut the fuck up that'd be great but the she was like I kind of like that one to be honest do I sound funny to. But she was like, I kind of like that one, to be honest. Do I sound funny to you? And I was like, I mean, no. She goes, whoa, you should hear me say bag.

And I was like, did you say bag? She's like, I knew it. I knew it. I was like, that's the word you said. I was right. I nailed it. That's got to be one of the worst accents out there. It's so bad. I accent's the worst i mean boston's up boston's terrible but i but there's something new york's all like everything but like at least with like i think there's some romanticizing of those accents

you know like the mob movies have the accent yeah boston had their moment and but like what is you know you can't associate that accent with many people yeah that's true who are like oh you know that guy that guy's smart yeah right that's really like

all there is to it if you don't hear that you're like he's intelligent yeah this guy knows some stuff yeah that's the thing

like no there isn't an accent British I guess but there's like a few accents where you're like whoa let me shut up

and listen it's really just British really just British and then they're all morons if you listen to what they're saying and then the uh australian accent is yeah i i steer away from australians what yeah i saw a guy i was on a train the other day uh which train was that i think it was just something like in a cell or something like that and the guy was drinking a Foster's through a straw. Quite a

Like the big boy? Quite a juxtaposition. You don't really see a straw drinking but guys carrying a fucking Foster's. I haven't seen a Foster's in a minute.

You need a backpack to carry a Foster's. Those were ridiculous. And then he just had a fucking straw. Pick a fucking side bro. For real. So I was going to say with the touring I feel like

you don't have to go on tour as much with the internet anymore I feel like no you can make your money that way and not have to go it's not so much about money it's about getting my set ready you know what I mean I want my set to be as good as it can be and you can't just do that in LA no because you get like 10 minutes and you know what i mean 10 minutes a night it's like that's

not really gonna make me a better comic right so hats off to you girl because i would just be like i'm just gonna be a mediocre comic then i'm gonna leave town i am well i'd be like i'm a mediocre comic and i'm not even gonna try to change that yeah changing stuff i don't change yeah the um i actually okay i guess kind of speaking of changing earlier on the show we were discussing a situation i'm in and i'm wondering what you would do with it where i caught not caught really but i saw my cleaning person leaving my apartment and he has his two children with him and i i am very uncomfortable with the idea of children child labor they're not working though they were carrying

stuff that was my thought i was like i think he didn't have the babysitter that day yeah because my cleaning lady has brought her son to my apartment, but he didn't work. And you fucked him in then. But his wife sat in front. They cleaned my apartment at night, which was nuts. But I got home too early and didn't want to go upstairs, so I just sat in the stoop across the street. And his wife or a woman he works with sat in a van in front of my apartment with the hazards on the whole time. So the kids could have sat in the van if they weren't doing they were up there okay listen i think if it's your parents putting you to work it's just like when i was young my parents made me work too you know what i mean like having a it's not like child labor it's not like you're that's a good distinction you're not hiring kids

yeah you're not like where can i find a 12 year old to bop my floor you hired an adult who has children and is trying to like – They make their own choices on how to raise their kids. Well, it's just like showing them a work ethic, like making them contribute. Like I don't think that's wrong. I think if it was just two kids cleaning your apartment, all the – Well, but even like everything I touched now, I got back upstairs and I was like, all right, I'm going to make dinner. I'm like, did a fucking child clean this pan? i'm like getting my clothes ready i'm like getting dressed next

day i'm like this shirt folded by a kid this is fucking weird i i'm not i'm not gonna do anything about it i'm not gonna like fire them obviously because like that would be that would be almost as dickhead as not i said he's just gotta raise his money and keep i just yeah i just don't think it's i think i think think if it's a parent being like, hey, come to work with dad or mom and we're going to show you. But it also might be like, go scrub the fucking grind kids. As long as they're his kids.

Do you know they're his kids? I don't know for sure. They had a similar... That is very important. If it's not his kids... Well, that's crazy. Yeah, then you need to call the police. You should have a tax break.

Oh, wait. Those kids... You own those kids, right? Those ones are yours, right? Those kids... Yeah. Yeah. What was that all about?

Is that a regular thing? You've had them from the beginning, right? Yeah. It makes me... Yeah, I think teaching them a work ethic isn't bad, but I understand your concern, but it's not like just two kids showed up to clean your apartment. You're like, come on in. Everything I touch, I'm like, I probably don't even know how to clean.

That's really the main concern here. Well, then is it clean or isn't it? The pots and pans aren't clean enough. Is it clean or isn't it? Oh, that's fine. So you're fine. It's not great, but- I think right now the system's working for everybody.

Those kids probably get a couple, like a tip here and there. They're like, I got 10 bucks. I'm rich. I think right now the system is working for everybody. Those kids probably get a tip here and there. They're like, I got $10. I'm rich. I'm sure they don't see a fucking dime. Are you working on a podcast or anything like that now? Yeah, I am. I actually started a scripted one. It's called Scumbags of History.

It's where we go through historical figures like we did mother teresa and coco chanel and like all these people that people people are like they're fucking awesome and then we just look at what scumbags they were hell yeah behind closed doors yeah i'm noticing a theme here yeah but i'm like i'm the ultimate scumbag so it's like me and my co-hosts were deciding at the end like are these people bad and if ever like the person's offense is like they cheated or like they beat their wife-host were deciding at the end, like, are these people bad? And if ever, like, the person's offense is, like, they cheated or, like, they beat their wife. I'm like, eh, it was the times, you know? It was a big gap there. It was against the early 1990s.

Pretty wide gap, though. Once a year. Yeah. No, I mean, beat your wife, not great. Cheating, I mean, it would be hard for me to find five people who haven't. You know what I mean? Yeah. But that, I mean.

What were Mother Teresa's transgressions? Oh, she was nasty. She was a nasty bitch. She would take all the money. I'm pretty sure she's an all-time fraud. Yeah, she's really bad. She took all the money and then she put it into the Vatican Bank and then all of her homes where she was supposed to be taking care of the lepers and stuff,

they were disgusting. People were just dying left and right. People were not getting care. So she had all this money to take care of people and then she didn't she just let people like die yeah yeah she was a nasty bitch she was like of course have you ever met like a nun who wasn't a fucking cunt have you ever met a really religious person who's actually good yeah and no kidding chanel i'm I love this podcast yeah Coco Chanel I mean she's interesting so she was a Nazi sympathizer

so like again the time that's what I'm saying like if it was a war and I was in France and we're like worthless I'm sleeping with a Nazi

to fucking stay safe you know what I mean I'd be a Nazi we've talked about this before I'd be a Nazi so fast yeah who's winning okay I'm with them.

What's the question, dude? I'm not trying to be a goddamn martyr, dude. Yeah, she fucked a bunch of Nazis, and then she was a little anti-Semitic. I mean, she kind of bought into the cause a little bit too much. But anyway. She drank the juice. The juice?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Fucking Gandhi. All these people that are like... Gandhi was... He liked the juice. The juice? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Fucking Gandhi. Like, all these people that are, like... Gandhi was... He liked the little boys, right? Gandhi... I think the little something. The little boys.

I'm pretty sure there was some masturbating with young kids. Yeah, he would, like, make people... He, like, practiced celibacy and then would make, like, people lay in bed with him. Like, young girls and boys lay in bed with him to like make sure he was being celibate so he probably just like laid there with a boner

or fuck eat these kids you know what I mean I feel like he was like drugging off in a bed with kids yeah yeah he's like I'm testing my celibacy and it was just like

a crock of shit and he just was like he's a cult leader you know what I mean I was gonna say again I think by celibacy highly highly you know

I guess religious would you call it anybody like that fucking they're gonna be weird yeah that's what? Fucking, they're going to be weird. Yeah, that's what I'm saying. They're all fucking weird. But yeah, it's been fun.

That is, that's cool. Yeah. I like that. Yeah. Just tear people down. Yeah, yeah. And it's just like, I mean. What's the name of that?

Scumbags of History. Scumbags of History. I don't think it's out. It's not out yet. Oh, okay. We're still in that process? Yeah. Okay.

I mean, it's like going through a whole network. So I'm just, we just did 10 of them. Now we have 10 more and that's season one hell that's dope that's i like that a lot and scripted in the sense like like we have to like get the facts but it's like yeah yeah yeah we have to like get certain facts i can't just you know go rogue like how dr seuss is a piece of shit yeah this was a naziizer. Just so you know. That is dope, though. All right. That's good shit. So you'll be on the road.

You'll have that coming out at some point. Yeah. And then all of it goes away when Drake responds. Yeah. If you see Brittany with a Rolex. The second. I already have one. She's with her second Rolex.

You're never going to see her on stage again. On the same wrist or double wrist? Same wrist. Same wrist. That'll be my sign. It'll be my fucking little bat sign to you guys that I fucked her.

I haven't seen Brittany on stage anymore. But I did see her on two Rolexes. Pissed up. That's why. Good stuff, girl. Well, appreciate you

coming through. So back to LA now? No, Montreal next. I just do new faces. Montreal. Oh, hell yeah. That's next. I just do new faces. Montreal. Oh, hell yeah. That's great. I'm like,

the only thing new about my face is all the Botox. Oh, you're big 30s? We found you. Like, look who we discovered. That's great. All right, good shit, girl. Congrats on everything.

Thanks. Good to see you guys.