KFC Radio - Barstool Employees Acting Like Babies - Full Episode

Episode Date: July 25, 2024

Timecodes: 0:00 Start 01:36 Reflecting on LARPing 19:37 Reflecting on Laser Tag 26:28 Banana Tub 29:37 Getting in shape 31:12 Put It In Your Mouth 38:40 Kevin is Sucked Back Into the Mets 44:15 Video Voicemail 59:30 Fast and Furious 01:13:04 Types of Drunks Links: Hereditary Break Nose Scene: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4HKmLQ7Wwfk +++++++++++++++++++++++++++ Mango Shotta: Stay Spicy with Mango Shotta https://www.mangoshotta.com/ Omaha Steaks: Shop exclusive packages starting at $99 at https://OmahaSteaks.com and get an EXTRA $10 OFF when you use promo code KFC at checkout CANN: Head to DrinkCann.com (that’s DRINK-C-A-N-N dot COM) and use code KFC20 for 20% off your order of Cann and a free Roadie 6pk sampler. BlueChew: Use code KFC for your first month free. First month free with code KFC at https://go.bluechew.com/KFC. Check them out. Thank you to BlueChew for sponsoring the pod.You can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/kfcr

Hey, KFC Radio listeners, you can find every episode of KFC Radio on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. Check it out. Look how much fun we're having talking about it. Yeah. I mean, imagine having it. Come on. KFC Radio is presented by Mango Chata. Mango Chata is a, first of all, right now it's National Tequila Day as we record this.

So shout out to tequila. This is a special type of tequila, though, because you get this sweet from the mango and you get the spicy from jalapeno. And I would argue that sweet and spicy is maybe the greatest of all combinations in the world i'm shocked it's taken this long for mango shadow to to get it going yes this is i mean i feel like maybe three three to five years ago kind of the spicy marg yeah really hidden and why i hit it with this or not really like it started really ramping up and it is ongoing still but i mean that it's the best drink it's hands down i mean and it's the perfect type of sweet you know like you couldn't do like chocolate sweet mango sweet yeah is perfect

with jalapeno and uh and it's perfect this is like a it can be a spicy margarita you can use it for that or you can just drink it straight that's that's like the the jackpot where it's perfect. This is like a – it can be a spicy margarita. You can use it for that or you can just drink it straight. That's like the jackpot where it's like you can just drink this straight up. You could do a shot of it. You could do it on the rocks or you can make it your mixed drink. And it's like middle of the road if you just add some like seltzer. Yeah. Yeah.

Boom. It basically already has its flavor and you got that unique mix. So stay spicy with mango shot on. It's another edition of KFC Radio on the Barstool Sports Network. Yesterday, we hit up Central Park, the whole gang in New York, to a bucket list item for me. Checked off a bucket list item. We'll say it that bucket list item we'll say it that way a dream of mine a dream come true of mine we went LARPing which apparently is not the preferred nomenclature

apparently LARPing is disrespectful to the uh medieval play fighting community yeah that that's like well yeah it's disrespectful it's like saying playing knee hockey is the type of ice hockey players right yeah it's like it's not a real thing what does it stand for uh live action role playing um i mean that could be anything technically live action role playing but it seems to be specifically seems to specifically be applied to the medieval battling um we all got together uh had two different teams and we played you know kill the king and jet like square off one-on-one and all-out battle uh you'll see the video in a couple weeks i'm sure um but you had some questions i have some thoughts but what were you i i have a main question and so this means you've been sitting on this for well just since yesterday it really became clear do oh do we think that everyone here because we've been doing these games and these videos and and they're fun i really enjoy them but do we think everyone at barcelona sports

is a child or do we think everyone is a child they just stop playing games it's a great question because playing these games is insufferable it's insane so so okay what do you mean by that because jake bass texted me last night yesterday and said, what was your honest opinion of it? And I thought, sometimes when we do these things, people are on the side going like, get me the fuck out of here. I didn't encounter any of that yesterday. No, no, no, that's not even what I mean. I mean like the act, because again, I have fun doing it.

To be honest, the LARPing wasn't as fun as I thought it was going to be. That's not your jam. Not even like, it was just like, it was so chaotic. Yeah, it was kind of just like, okay. Yeah, it was silly. Well, there's no honor. There was no honor.

This is my point. Okay, okay. This is my point. Nobody was playing by the fucking rules. That's exactly what I'm saying. Now we're on the same page. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Like when it is the, like when we're playing. If you're going to fucking LARP, LARP, LARP. That's what I'm saying. Fucking LARP. Dude, bro. I was fuming.

Jake Bass at one point said to me, you're the only one dying. You're the only one playing by the rules. I would's what I'm saying. Fucking LARP. I was fuming. Jake Bass at one point said to me, you're the only one dying. You're the only one playing by the rules. I would too. I'll give you credit. You were dying.

You would lay in the field. I didn't even think to do that. I would just walk off. Well, then I realized halfway through that you'll see there was ways to come back to life and shit. I was like,

oh, I could have come back to life. But the amount of people yelling like, I got you, I got you. When I got hit, I fucking got hit. Fucking got hit fucking got hit and it was so the rule is if you get hit in the arm you like lose an arm but you can still play if you get hit in the leg you can hop around you get hit anywhere in the chest area you're dead and and I mean I watch

people come across with a sword right through people's chests and they were just going no you didn't get me no you didn't get me that's what i don't mean playing childish games i mean acting like a child while playing games yes because it was insane i'm so happy you said this because i went home yesterday ranting about this and i was like i was even i before we left i was yelling i was talking to glennie about it i was like I obviously don't really care about this. But if we're going to do it, I fucking care. Because the only thing crazier than me being on the sidelines being like, you're dead. I killed you.

Is someone LARPing not by the rules. How crazy and like, I guess insecurity you have to be to be like I'm gonna cheat at LARPing I'm gonna pretend this fucking sword didn't just hit me because like bro it fucking hit you

with the fucking sword what are you talking about and then people yelling at me like they'd hit me in the arm like I got you I got you

I got you I got you and I was like I know you got me that's why this fucking arm is behind my back I threw my shield and my sword

to my other arm they probably were so used to just people not playing by any of the rules they have to fucking screaming at you uh it that because so yeah like when you're a little kid i think you're still innocent enough to play by the rules and like really engage in it and maybe when you get older you're like a scumbag who like lies and cheats like it's we're not even playing for fucking money nothing nothing there's nothing on the line here when the

fucking pretend sword hits you go stay on the side i think i can't so that's this is where playing for money kind of makes you more of a scumbag but at least i understand where your head's going right at least there's something on the line yeah that actually yeah if if you're cheating now it's like now you're robbing me i beat you and you're cheating that's taking money out of my fucking pocket but so to your point like is that a barstool thing because we're all like you know insecure assholes and like competitive toxic freaks that like we're not even willing to lose in larping or do you think that's like any like you get a bunch of adults together to play a game they'll all be that's my that's

what i'm not sure that's your question is it because we'll never know because we are completely institutionalized at this point like i can't even i had a a breath of a minute of real life and that was a lifetime ago so i don't even know anymore i couldn't tell you that if i got my friends together right now to larp would they just blatantly cheat? I think my friends would play. I like to think so. And I think these people are all assholes. It was insane. I watched Billy

Football get his fucking head chopped off and he just kept running around. I was like, well, then what's the fucking point of even doing this? Billy brought his lacrosse gloves, wearing a weightlifting belt. What the fuck is happening, dude? Just play the goddamn game. And it takes something that's supposed to be so funny and goofy, and I'm screaming and yelling about it.

There's no honor on the battlefield! Again, we've noticed it as far back as Survivor with all the questions. It's a fucking kids game. Just play the fucking kids game. But yesterday, for some reason, it came to a head with all because it was i hit you i hit you i hit you don't know you didn't hit me you didn't hit me yeah they fuck i watched them they fucking hit you you could hear it you could feel it you could see it it's but what was even crazier was we had two people um from gladiator nyc who were great and they these guys they don't larp that's why i said like

like you don't say larp around them because what those fucking guys do is like mma in armor they fight in real armor with real weapons that aren't sharpened but they are real swords real axes real hammers and they showed armor that they had that had dents like in the head and in your the thing that blocks your dick like they said they break bones they get concussions they had that had dents like in the head and in the thing that blocks your dick. Like they said they break bones. They get concussions. They are the real deal. And they were like our referees kind of.

Yeah. And I was like, hey, guys, referee. Like you guys, I thought they were going to be like the dead serious ones being like, no, you. They were kind of like, I don't know. Yeah. Fucking call it, man. I chopped his head off. Particularly with the, like, I imagine it was a tough video to film.

Because I imagine it was a tough video to follow for them as well. Totally. But at the end, when it was the one-on-ones, that one I don't blame them. Because it was just like, they said the rules. It has to be a big hit. And then everyone just go. Nobody followed the rules. was it has to be a big hit and then everyone just go nobody followed nobody followed the rules it's crazy it's crazy that that was it is such a silly funny little thing

but speaks volumes you know when they say the sign of a good person is if they put their shopping cart back no no sign of a good person if you cheat at LARPing if you get together to do anything like this and you are cheating and not in like a funny way like i've definitely cheated at these games before where it's like i'm blatantly cheating like for the video yeah you know um you're an asshole because it's like it's just how you really are you you can't just be like oh i lost at at this game at at this children's game. But that's always been Barstool, right? It's always been the excuse train and the cheating train and everything.

I think it's like – I don't want to say a top-down thing, but Dave obviously does it. But when Dave does it, it's funny. I just don't know. It's funny when Dave does it. When everyone is doing it, it's really not that funny. It's not funny. It's not funny.

It's not fucking funny, man. But I will say this, too, though. It does get, you know, I mean, every time I played, I was in it for moments. But there was one instance where I got, like, a little taste of just... Of battle? Not even battle. Just like the old competition, really. Oh, okay. And typically, I don't like being a bully.

Safe, right? I don't like preying on the weak. But there was a moment when I was chasing Tommy and he was looking back at me. I could see his dull eyes and that did something to me. Yeah, you're the predator.

You have a predator instinct in you. I was like, he's scared. And you know Tommy was like It was so funny. It's like he didn't know how to run. Like, you would never put his head straight. The whole time,

you know what's funny? You know what is really funny? When people say shit about like horror movies, where they're like, oh, she tripped and fell again. Or like, why did you run?

I saw some people on the battlefield being, I was like, this is fake. And you're like stumbling, rumbling, fumbling. If this was real, you would definitely be falling over and getting stabbed and killed. is fake. And you're like stumbling, rumbling, fumbling. If this was real, you would definitely be falling over

and getting stabbed and killed, no doubt. At one point, me and Vibs were chasing Meek and Meek fell like he got shot with a.50 cal. I don't know. People just spaz out. He went flying and went spinning and I was like, I don't understand the physics of that. Lord Meek, man.

And then the same thing again. He falls, we hit him eight times, he gets up. Okay, sure. Meek's up still. I even just, so, you know,

like an hour of fucking play fighting with swords and foam swords and fake shields. I was thinking to myself, how fucking awful must real medieval battles must i mean there was like if you're in the front line you're just fucking dead man and then the guy um let me put on his real helmet and he was like be careful like some people freak out when they put

it on like a deprivation thing i was like all right we'll see i couldn't it was it was like, be careful. Like some people freak out when they put it on like a deprivation thing. I was like, all right, we'll see. I couldn't. It was like too small for me. So I couldn't like get it on, which is crazy. I don't know how small that guy's head was, but I couldn't get it on. So I didn't. But I could understand as I got it over like here. I could understand where you would like freak out.

It's like a claustrophobia fucking helmet, you know? And he was like, you can't hear anything when you're in there. So I was like, what? These like nights I couldn't hear anything. He's like, oh, no and like you're just whacking each other with like hundred pound swords until somebody's fucking dead i mean that is what if it was hot out i can't go to battle it's hot today it's 90 i'm not gonna put on a thousand pounds of armor no fucking thank you man in the future they're gonna stop wars to watch pele play soccer wow it's not a big deal i was thinking that too like when you're the

peasants on either side i'm sure there's a whole bunch of guys who were like for the queen rainera no for king aegon we're gonna fight to the death and i'm sure there were guys on the end going like we don't have to do this yeah right like Right? Like, let's just go, like, hide behind that tree. We're fucking good, no? Yeah, I don't understand. What was the argument against, I guess, pride and honor, but the, like, against deserting? Yeah. Especially back then.

You're not like. I'm deserting my hut. I'll just go build another hut. My life already sucks here. I can just have my life suck over there. Or also, I would just lay down. I mean, I know they would walk around and stab people, but I would probably just be like, oh, I'm dead.

I would play by the rules in real fucking LARPing. It's funny too, though. I was talking to Bob Fox and I was like, man, there is levels to this nerd shit. People would call Bob Fox a nerd you know and then you think about the people who are like professional LARPers and Bob was like yeah

I technically watch like the most popular things in the world like I'm at the peak of pop culture and people call me a nerd they would look at I was like they would look at you like you're the fucking the bully jock you know that's nerd shit uh so uh yeah then the the larping will be out um i don't i there's there's plenty to see but there was one thing that is too funny that i gotta tell the story of like um you kind of do like capture the flag but with people so like one person was the

designated king and you had to kill them or protect them and um like we rushed at him and i'm like swinging and i like it was almost like uh it was almost like an nfl kickoff was what we did at one point and the first guy just whom like flies by and misses him but slows him down a little bit and the next guys end up tackling him. I ran by. We kind of swung. We hit swords. It didn't kill him. Then people just kind of didn't realize what was going on

and Glennie was there and he was just like, you're dead. He was just like, I got the king. I got him. Of all people, Glennie. I thought he was joking. He was like, no, I got the king i got him and it was like of all people clenny and i was like i thought he was joking he's like no i got the king i chopped his head off i did you did very very funny but the funniest thing uh that happened that day on the battlefields was the full-blown meltdown i witnessed from jack o'clockill yeah i forgot about that bro tears streaming

hysterical laughter i was like yo she came dressed as a pirate i could not believe the producers the producers actually told her to change they're like it's not on the change i was like wait you brought that yourself yeah i like literally spent yeah yeah like a b i'm sure that was expensive. Yeah, it was. It's like this beautiful dress corset thing. I literally was like... I told you guys about my kindergarten childhood trauma.

I didn't know this until this day. Have you told us before? No. Did you hear that part? Yeah, you said it. When I was in kindergarten, it was crazy hair day, right? And I go all out i do the whole like bottle

thing i put in like hairspray i'm going all out and i'm so excited for wacky hair day i go i step out the car it's not wacky hair day i'm i'm literally mortified people are looking at me they're laughing i go i go i run back in the car i just go home and I cry the whole day it's not like a hair day so then ever since then like I've hated Halloween I hate dress-up parties because I'm like I don't trust it like I'm like so worried before being like what if nobody showed up like what if nobody like is dressed up and so like I literally like even this I put it off to the last minute i'm like i like i'm like i'm not gonna get a renaissance like what if nobody shows up in

like renaissance thing or whatever so then i finally like the day before i was like okay i gotta just get something like it seems like everyone's getting like costumes or whatever and then so i finally like found a costume or whatever it ended up being a pirate thing i really can't tell the difference between like pirates and this is their second time that you did it apparently i kept buying pirate stuff i kept like running by kelly keegs and then like she'd be like that's another pirate costume but like by the way pirates existed in medieval times medieval times but it's just like they're not jousting i guess i guess yeah Anyways, so then I'm on the train. And I fuck up the train like nobody's ever fucked up the train before.

I'm going back and forth. I keep missing the 81st stop. Every time I would just be like, what the fuck? We were playing. We were getting ready. We were doing whatever. And every time I go check my phone, there'd be a new text in the group chat. It's all caps locked.

It's like, I missed a stop again. There is nothing worse than when you think you're on a local and it's express and you whip by yours. You start to feel like we're not slowing down enough. We're not stopping. Boom. And then you get back and you fuck it up again. And you're just.

It wasn't even doing the express thing. It was going so slow. The way that like. So it kept looking like. Because all the monitors are broken. So it kept looking like it was going to slow down. And then it didn't even doing the express thing it was going so slow the way that like so it kept looking like because all the monitors are broken so it kept looking like it was gonna slow down and then it didn't and then i was like fuck i'm like trapped on this thing until god knows when anyways then geotext then and she said oh shit nobody's dressed up and i it sends me into a full big attack i'm having war flashbacks of kindergarten again. She was telling a story. Just tears.

I'm like, tears. Literally, I'm on the train. Because they had costumes for people who didn't have their own. But Gia had their own. I had my own. So if you had your, BYOB, if you had it. So she showed up dressed to the nines. And other people were just in black.

They hadn't put their costumes on yet. So I think she was like, oh my god, no one dressed up. But everybody did end up dressing up. But you did not know that. It's just like kindergarten. That's hadn't put their costumes on yet so i think she was like oh my god no one dressed up yeah but everybody did end up dressing up but you did not know that kindergarten like that's literally what happened to me is it like nobody was so that's like your deep your deep fear so yeah so like my deep fear is like dressing up and losing your life and yeah yeah exactly larping just like it's not my bag. I did not really see you on the battlefield at all. Were you, did you? I was as background.

Rank laser tag LARPing, which were you? Oh, so bad at LARPing. The laser tag's out right now? Laser tag's out. I won't spoil the whole thing, but one piece I will spoil is that nobody has ever killed another person more times than i killed jackie i mean she was i i must have killed her a hundred times every time you turn around i think my thing had to have been broken oh yeah that's what it was you also were weirdly good at least well this is the

nerd this is like me and bob kept talking about like you don't want to be good at the nerd shit you know what i mean like vives was really good so he was like the mvp but after that i was racking up some points and i was like yeah this is what i'm good at it's like i don't do cups what i said i said that you're too cool pretty girl doesn't do nerd stuff exactly yeah but you stunk at this it was fun both of these were fun i i thought the first time i played i thought i was lighting people not even people i was because i would i would stand all the way at my back at the back for our yeah so to do the laser tag thing real quick the basically if you shot their home base it was worth like three points if you shot a person's with a point yeah and you had their home bases people would defend their home base i stayed all the way back at ours but if you're on the team on the right side

you had a line of sight to the other home yes and i was just standing there and i thought i was just hitting it a million times and i got out and i came in dead last and then i was like i was like all right i'm gonna fucking just go nuts now and i would just run around screaming shooting everyone i could dead last again and then the third time i came in second to last yeah you you would uh john would just have like he would he would play in the back and then like as it started to end he would just crash out you just you're like i know what that is that's that's just john going berserk the smitty or uh vibs was like bizarrely good like like i i want to make sure i'm not on on vibs's list if he ever comes in the office he's if you ever strews this place up he's sniping everybody he was he i just kept

hearing go you're dead you're dead you're dead just kept hearing him go, you're dead, you're dead, you're dead. You're dead, you're dead, you're dead. Killed you, killed you, killed you. And I was like, did he actually? Yep, every single time. Wait a minute, I have more than you. Yeah, look at that. Yeah, I was really bad.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I was really bad. I will say this. It's not a great look that only three people had more points than Frank. Frank Fleming beating you in laser tag is tough. There was a shot at one point I was following. Frank, you don't realize a big part of it, you get shot in the back. In both this and LARPing, people get you from behind.

If you ever go to war, on your six is a big deal yeah i learned quite a bit about covering people and you know cover me i'm going in you gotta you gotta cover them or they will get shot from behind that the new girl ainsley she's she's like uh the angel of death in both the in laser tag and larping every time i turned around she's like a white walker too she had those eyes i was every time i turned on she she's had a gun it was just shooting me in the back and i was like leave me alone but there's also i mean i was walking behind frank at one point just racking up the points this this laser tag was my first uh experience with ainsley she was on our team and we had gotten an email the night before i think telling everyone to wear white because it would it would shine

better on camera and all that stuff it was black light so it was white would pop like half the people listened half people didn't or didn't see it or whatever and but then some people such as ken jack showed up like in camouflage ken jack black everything ken jack had all black brought a black winter hat to cover his black hair and then brought tape electrical black tape electrical black tape to cover the white on his sneakers mind you none of this mattered you could see everyone perfectly fine and and like yeah you're wearing big bright light up fucking yeah it's crazy but the the after our first round ainsley came over she i think she was eating she had like something in her mouth and ken jack had a tape on his shoes and no one knew ainsley from eat i don't know she's just a new intern no one knew she was and she Eve. She's just a new intern.

No one knew who she was. And she comes over and sees Ken Jack's shoes. She goes, I think that helped a lot. I can't walk in. It was, I was like, who the fuck is this girl? Oh, you think that helped? You think no one saw you because you had some black tape on your shoes, dude? It was just like the strip of white, too, right?

Yeah, there were black sneakers. It's not like you had white covering up the swoosh. Unbelievable. I had not played laser tag probably in... I think the last time I played laser tag was like when I was a kid playing at home. I don't even know if I had ever gone to a place like this before. Oh, we had laser tag and fall over. Yeah. i i mean it was probably 30 years since i last laser gate it's fucking awesome although i it was fun to play with friends i think it would be weird like

if if vibs was in there like doing what bibs did to strangers i'd be like you're a fucking loser you know like like taking it that seriously but when you're when you rent the place out and it's all you and you can kind of just like have fun with it um it was we played 15 minute games they felt like 45 minutes i think by the end we were cutting down about two and a half yeah yeah yeah we were long vibs they were talking about doing a seven and a half minute game and it was like no like i need i need my points but i mean i was i kept being like we've got to be almost done and they would be like halfway that's no fucking chance the the uh the level of sore from larping and and laser tag from like weird

you know weird like movements that you do it's embarrassing it's it's it's you know do, it's embarrassing. You know it's not good when you can't do live action role play. But good times. We got the Office Olympics coming out too. You're going to release different... I was going to say, it's nice that one of these is out.

I think we've shot a million of these. I know. Finally put them out. It feels good. yeah we have we have a bunch of different things in new york's been doing with um to to coincide with the olympics when those start um and then we have a new jackie video coming out next week which have we ever talked about it on the podcast we put it on the i think so put it on the... I think so. Yeah. So the Jackie's Food video. What are we calling this? I don't know.

We don't really know yet. What community are we going after here? It's not Mukbang. Yeah, the ASMR. Can I eat like kink community? Dude, I remember the kink freaks. You're like, oh, like bait. I remember back in the day. Do you remember ones the porn site yeah yeah and they would have the they would have like

categories when you first went on the website it would just be like your standard categories all the fucking good stuff and then right in the middle of it was always balloons and it bothered me so much that I would look at it. And it would just be naked women popping balloons. Yeah. And I would think, who is into this? But it would be like, blowjob, anal, balloons. Tits, mills.

It was like right in the mix with all the heavy hitters. And I was like, how the mix with all the heavy hitters yeah and i'm saying how fucking balloons get up here and i looked at it and thank the good lord didn't do anything that's a scary game you play you open those up like you never you might you might feel a little something 12 years old in my friend's basement because mom's gone i find out i have a real fetish for balloon play just like you end up 20 years later taking a girl in from the bar and she's just like just pop these bitch what do you want to do like ah god this is gonna be tough what do you want to do you're over in the corner going

hang on close up open my closet it's like an eye party falls out. If you could just jump all over these, I would be. I mean, listen, for the porn generation, some of the shit that we either make girls or ask girls or want girls to do, I feel like they would welcome popping balloons. Okay, I don't have to choke on your dick. Fine. Sounds good. Just keep blowing up the balloons and I'll pop them. Whatever, man. them popping balloons oh okay yeah i don't have to choke on your dick fine sounds good just keep blowing up the balloons and i'll pop them whatever man there was one there was one it was just a woman on a big balloon it was almost like it was almost like those this vid this video in particular

sticks with everything else i was being vague about this one it was almost like a swiss ball yeah i guess like an exercise ball right yeah it was like that size but it's a regular ball and she was just sitting on it as you like was like slowly bouncing like that and i watched it for like 20 minutes i was just like not horny it was one of those things like it's gonna happen is it gonna happen it's like i was just not horny guys sounds like i was like i want to see this thing pops and then i was like is this a little bit funny. I was like, I want to see this thing pops. And then I was like, is this a loop video? Is this thing gonna fucking pop? Or not? And it popped,

she falls to the floor. And I was like, that was that. Anal. That was my warm up. Now let me get to the gang name. I was fluffing. That's funny.

That's good stuff. Can you stand up for me for a second? Yeah, you're fucking getting in good shape. Thanks. I saw him walk over before. I was like, fuck. You've been working out, right? I've been working out.

Yeah, I don't know if it's the tucked shirt or whatever, but I was like, yeah. Today was the first day. I've been wanting to get in shape to tuck in my shirt. Yeah, I was going to say, that's bold. I was like that for two years, bro. Just looking out the window all sad, like, damn, those guys look good with their shirts tucked in. I wouldn't dare tuck a t-shirt in right now. It's bad enough when you're wearing the suit.

Something happens when you wear a suit where, like, you just kind of look, everybody looks better in a suit. Yeah. Unless you have a really ill-fitting or trashy suit, you get elevated even if you're not in shape or whatever. I don't know if it's the buttons, the belt. V-shape. Yeah.

But you know, like anything else I tuck in, you would see like my gut and like whatever. In the dress clothes, it just doesn't. It's like some fucking, the mask shit, you know? But tucking in a t-shirt now, now you gotta be out of your goddamn mind i'd probably run around naked before i randomly ran with a t-shirt oh i look worse in a t-shirt yeah yeah yeah i was filming a video for uh the renovations i'm doing and it was like just tits kind of and i was like i feel like if i just didn't have the shirt there it would look better it's like go tits out rather than hiding the tits kind of and i was like i feel like if i just didn't have the shirt there it would look better it's like go tits out rather than hiding the tits awful dude you know this kind of this

kind of combines the last our last two topics i was watching we're flowing today uh podcast i was watching uh chad daniel stand-up yesterday, Empty Nester. Very funny. Go watch it on Netflix. And at one point in the early part of it, he – it's not necessarily crowd work, but he's just talking to the crowd a bit. So the camera is panning. And there are two people who are big bodies. Big bodies? Big bodies.

To set the scene a bit, the special was filmed in Minnesota. I was going to say, he's a Minnesota guy. They were Minnesota strong. Just some Midwesterners, right? People who haven't seen a vegetable in fucking God knows how long. And I was just like, God, I want to watch them fuck. What? I don't know them fuck. What? I don't know, man.

It was crazy. I was just like, I just want to see it a little bit. I don't think I've ever seen it. What? Fat people fuck? This is my point? Yeah.

Yeah? There is a little bit of morbid curiosity just behind the mechanisms of it. Yeah. The mechanics. Like, do you, if let's say these are their bellies, do you roll? Or do you if let's say these are their bellies like do you like roll or do you lift

or a big i imagine there's a lift lift the belly and put it in their mouth what big pun said lift the belly and put it in their mouth oh heavens yeah he said lift the belly and put it in your mouth like akanele goodness i mean he was a he was pull up big pun at his big pun at his biggest was like enormous and all of his raps were always about fucking i mean huge that's one of my that's one of the all-time greatest pictures ever that is like he makes fat joe look that yeah yeah that to me is like fellas yeah i mean like they just rolled up i mean look at him he's huge and he had the like shortest arms what's the music um connie west music yeah yeah yeah with a little people puff or whatever they like are in this square yeah yeah yeah he was a big

guy he used to be a jacked guy, and then he got big. But yeah, he used to say, yeah, look at him. He used to say, lift the belly and put it in her mouth like Akineli. I got Ginelli? Like Akineli is the guy who sung, put it in your mouth. Oh, yeah. Akineli's a guy? Well, he's a rapper.

The person singing is not Akineli. I always thought Akineli was the woman. No, I'm not a fucking man. No, you know what? I don't think the woman no i'm not fucking mad no you know what i don't think that woman gets any credit yeah can you can you search uh uh you probably have no idea how to spell akanele not even just let's give it a shot it's pretty phonetic it's like happy yeah you're pretty close it's not oh i thought it was just a k instead of C-A. A-K-I-N-A-Y-L-E. But you actually spelled probably like, that probably is the proper way. Akanele, put it in your mouth.

I wonder if that girl got any credit because that is like one of the most iconic little bits of music ever and I don't think she... That song, I would listen to this song in like fourth grade. Yeah. Oh, yeah.

She was... Yeah, 96. Oh, yeah. Featuring Kia Jeffries, I guess. that's all i would listen to the song in like fourth grade yeah oh yeah hey she was yeah 96 oh yeah featuring kia jeffries i guess um so i guess she got a little bit of love he was ahead of his time because i think he talks about eating ass in this video and that was like 1990 like two really i think he said something burning at the stake for that back then for real for real um yeah this song is you guys know this song at all you don't know this song at all I don't know this song

it is it's filthy this was like porn for like my generation this was how many licks before how many licks came out

yes this was the type of shit like yeah I had the tongue in the crack of my ass yes once I feel the tongue in the crack of my ass

you like it's the high notes yes i mean that is crazy for this era now that's like you know like ice spices singing that to the 12 year olds but back back at this this time it's like no way um it's a it's actually a great song like the beat and ice places to get to the 12 year olds and i was like, the beat and, like. Ice places against the 12-year-olds. And I was like, I was listening in fourth grade. Like, we think the young generation. Like, we were doing the same. I know.

We were doing it too. We were doing it too. It's a good song. Like, the beat is good and the melody is good. But it's just, you can't play this, like, absolutely nowhere. You can't play this, like, anywhere. You can't play this. You're married.

You can't play this with your wife. No. No. This is, like, solely in a strip club. That is truly the only place you can play that. It is. I know you got to edit it out, but I want you guys to hear this.

Just eat me ass. This guy hits a bop. It is. It's a bop. It's good. There was this, and then there was LL Cool J doing it. That one was a little pre-me.

Doing it was. Or at least I didn't. No, I think it was actually the other way around, but I just don't know if it was as popular. Doing it has LL Cool J and a female, again, who doesn't really get, it's not like a featuring thing, going back and forth. And I would, I memorized all the lyrics so like there's a point where I would be rapping and I would say like um I want a rough I want a rough neck n-word mandingo in the sack and I'm sitting there singing along with all these fucking words talking about like you're nine inch and you're fucking mandingo and because I was just like it was so back and forth it wasn't like this the girl sings and then he sings like they just all did the verse together so you're you're singing along talking about talking I mean

some of the lyrics for the girl are fucking ridiculous for uh put it on me like a g baby nice and slow I'm like a nine-year-old white boy singing this. Another good song though. Summer is here. We are in full swing which means the temperatures are hot, the grills are hot and the deals are even hotter at Omaha Steaks.

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A console by a resuck? Occasionally, I get that. It's happening less and less these days. In 2016, I consoled, and they made the wild card. It was after the World Series year, and then they played the play-in game. I think, was 2016 Connor Gillespie? That was 2016. Yeah. So I had consol 2016 yeah so that i had console that year everyone's like you know what are you gonna do it's like this has happened before they've made the playoffs

after i've canceled yeah um but this was different because i after 2022 2022 changed me as a person as a as like a human being i remember leaving i guess the gambling house and i drove home and i was listening to simple man by leonard skinner because that's de grom song and it was like de grom's not coming back and we lost and i was just like sobbing uncontrollably and i was like this is fucking insane i was like i'm an adult i need to never do this again uh so i was like i'm not gonna ever be like that attached and then so I was done with this team. They were so bad. And then they kept winning.

And I was like, I'm still not back. I'm still not like everyone being like your fair weather or like I can't come back. I'm like, no, no, no. Like you can't get me back. I don't want to do this right again. I'm off the roller coaster. I don't want to get back on. And then I found myself watching the Yankee game.

Jake Deakman on the mound, who, God bless him, has not had a great season up until this moment. Aaron Judge at the plate. And I'm like, this ball's going into the fucking stratosphere, dude. Struck him out looking. And I just, like, the feeling, it almost is like it's the other end of the spectrum of the console. Like, usually I know it when I'm like, I'm fucking done with this team i was like i'm back yeah because i it

wasn't just like a okay we won it was like a and now that's when they set me up to fucking i think that's a kind of more i know it's not the popular or traditional form of fandom, but I think it is. I'm kind of that way with the Red Sox. Even with the Patriots to an extent now, football is easier because it's 16 games a year. Yeah, that's true. Every Sunday is an event.

It's being an adult. But I think it's like being in a relationship or anything where you're like, I don't love you unconditionally. Right. being in a relationship or anything where you're like i don't love you unconditionally right you have to uh and especially after 35 years of like unconditional love's crazy it's insane there are so many conditions so many conditions uh you uh you raped a child yeah i don't love you anymore i don't love you anymore you you killed my dog in front of me with your bare hands. I don't love you anymore. You were exceptionally mean for an extended period of time. I lost my love. To make it a little more reasonable, yes.

I was saying I was just making a sport. Yeah, you were mean. You sucked and you didn't try and it was bad. And it changed how I feel about you. And you're trying again and you fucking look good again. And now I'm back in. That's kind of how. That's really what it is like.

That's how relationships should go. Because both people should be trying. And if the other guys aren't trying. I fucking kind of stopped caring. And there really was a level with the Mets. Where it was like. There's winning. And then.

I think baseball is the only sport where this happens. Where like you. Like it becomes a thing. You know what I mean? You have a song and a phrase and a handshake, all that. I think it's because the season is so long and they've got to entertain themselves. Red Sox outfield dance. Yes. It's very rare that that happens in other sports.

And so winning is one thing. Fun, like Grimace and the omg song and like the little storylines i'm like that's what that sucks me in and and that this this season has that in spades so i'm like i'm back boys ladies and gentlemen i'm back and i'm still like i'm back like i'm not even you know so that's why it's funny when people are like, they're trying to gate keep me. And I'm like, good. Keep me. Keep the gate closed.

Don't let me back in. But we'll see what happens. They've won 30 out of their last 45. It's a legit run. 30 out of 45. Yeah. They were 11 games under. They played so many games.

I used to watch. I used to watch 160 games a year. All of them 150 baby it's sickening it's a true addiction somebody did say to me somebody tweeted though

being like you've watched baseball long enough to know that like April and May don't matter and it's so true the tweet said like you can go 0 and 30

and it doesn't matter and it really it's just like the game is the season is so long that you just kinda even out and it's like okay we're 500 it is it's almost like life like baseball's like life really it's the first inning which is it is the problem where you're like well i'm not gonna get too excited i'm not gonna get too down like talk to me in six months right see

about it right whereas football is more like every day every two games in a row season's probably over yeah yeah and but it's so much easier to just you know okay today sucked see in a week yeah where it's like baseball is just every it's like the tide's just hitting you so we'll see that's somebody was like well time to time to jump off the bandwagon because you're back so let's see what happens all right let's get into voicemails this is my this is my boy zach this is uh my uh pimple popping freak friend oh this is the guy with just the greatest amount of dms yes uh no eyebrow gang here uh so quick question um pretty simple what action do you think causes the most hypocrisy so i mean we all know what hypocrisy is defined as as someone you know who is being a cripple of an action that someone is doing um so i think there's

a clear one one in this discussion and i think this will help get the conversation to where it needs to be it's picking your nose um i think so many people for picking their nose when i truly believe that 99 to 100 percent of the population uh picks their nose um except for jackie because you know um terrified to touch her nose after surgery maybe not i thought he's gonna say you're scared to hit your brain but yeah uh those laws in there you find um that come to that i think a lot of people are hypocritical about driving. I think everyone kind of sucks a little bit

at driving. They're just afraid to admit it. But yeah, love to hear your thoughts. What are your top three most hypocritical actions? Picking your nose is good. People act like it's horrifying

and it's like, yeah, you pick your nose. Oh, I pick my nose all the time. Yeah. All the time. Yeah. When you get like a good one, it's like. But I'm like, I'm smooth with it, I think.

I'll hit like one of these kind of deal. That's the thing. You can't fucking bury your finger in there. If you're in public and you're fucking knuckle deep. Yeah. You are a sicko. Right. It's not the action of picking your nose.

It's the brazen. I'm doing it in front of people. That's fucking insane. But if you act like you know picking your nose is disgusting but picking your nose is disgusting versus what getting a booger like sitting there like going

in just over and over yeah that's gross but like if you have like a booger in there or something and you go in and get it out versus like I'm just going in there searching but if you have a booger in there or something and you go in and get it out versus I'm just going in there searching. But if you have something in there, you won't go in there and get it? No, I guess not.

It's literally the same thing, but there's just such a difference about it of getting it like that versus your finger going. It's like if I sat down with a steak and i just cut it into pieces and ate it or i fucking picked up my hand and ate the whole thing yeah what are you a fucking animal yeah but you know just cut your steak what's that movie uh in uh old school cock shit balls all right we don't have to celebrate we don't have to make a fucking thing of it just give it a little pick you know uh or yeah because if you if you really but like if so if you're if you're totally alone you won't go in no i mean i mean not like i'm trying to think if i really would like i i won't i won't go i i have the you know what i'll do is a thumb every now

and then that's what i'm saying I love it No no but like You know get in there With the thumb Cause then you kinda Push the nostril back You have some Some backboard So you can

Get in there And get it out You must have had Hella boogers Back in the day huh There's like a garage For those things Just

I'm also I'm a snot rocket guy too though You are You are Pulling in the shower I don't do it in In like A shower snot rocket guy too though You are A shower snot rocket is It's like a colonic Are you still mouth taping?

I What an absurd phrase Mouth taping bro The thing is I Like I Like

I The thing is, I like eating so much. I like eating so much. I like to have every spare moment of consciousness available to eat. I don't like to. So, like last night, it happens every night night i'll be laying in bed i'll have had my i usually do about two three snack runs and i'll i'll be you know let's let's say last night yeah last night i probably did three so after my second one i was full i didn't need any snacks and i was like dude just put the tape on and i thought about it and and I was like, I'm going to leave it untaped.

And I fell asleep. And that happens a lot. So I do still have a roll of tape in my bed. But wait, this is crazy. Like, if you wanted to eat, you could take the tape off. Nah. It's about discipline, Kevin. Once it's on, it's on for the night.

No, I will wake up at, at like four or five a.m though and then i'll take it off snack go back to bed for like two more hours yeah today i i ate like i was a uh new father again i was um i was heavy like when i when i first had kids i was heavy i i threw out the old way of living of breakfast, lunch, and dinner, and I adopted the first meal, second meal, third meal, fourth meal, fifth meal. Like you eat whatever you want whenever you want. That's my way of living, particularly when you're up at all hours of the night. It's like I don't even know if this is my last meal of yesterday

or my first meal of today. I don't know. So I just had first meal, second meal, third meal. So you don't have to have cereal and shit in the morning. You can also have cereal and all that at night. And so today, but for whatever reason, I woke up at like 5 a.m., couldn't go back to sleep. My stomach was like, and I had a chicken cutlet sandwich with a Coke

and a bag of chips at probably like 6.30 in the morning. It was chicken cutlet, fresh mozzarella on hell lettuce tomato oil vinegar balsamic a hero leftover from the other day 6 in the morning it's like crazy um but as far as the hypocritical stuff farts are in there farts farts i've noticed that um but again don't celebrate it it's like everybody farts but the guy who's like yeah it's like all right man and and some some guys are funny like there are the funny fart guys but then there's also like the disgusting fart guys yeah there's also also i've noticed with with farts i don't know if it's i don't i do know it i think it's the rise of popularity in in ass eating have made their farts have lost their

fun to me. I'm like, Jesus Christ. I put my mouth there. Come on. Someone puts their mouth in there. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. It is. Yeah. Oh, my God. You're going to go home to a girl with that thing? I'll hear a fart in the street. I'm like, Jesus Christ.

That's going to get eaten tonight. Pee in the pool is one. This is a more serious answer, but the – it's not serious, but, like, I think politics have become – Oh, totally. Like, not even, like, I'm not even talking about, like, politics or hypocrites or anything like that. I mean, like, particularly at this company,

because I know I don't like talking about politics or hypocrites or anything like that. I mean, particularly at this company, because I know I don't like talking about politics. And it's not that I don't like it. I just think it's a longer, nuanced discussion that I'm open to have. If I don't have it, I just don't find it entertaining. And I think here is, particularly because we're a company where it used to be like, fuck Meryl Streep. She talked about it for 30 seconds on stage. Now everyone is like

should we do an hour on it this week it's fucking insane we used to get so mad that anybody would mention it and as part of politics really I don't even know if we've moved that much I think politics have moved towards entertainment more so than Twitter

we're a heavy Twitter company Twitter is just politics like i you know any i used to tweet about this that and the other and get traction on all sorts of shit and start discussions and get replies and and it's just not it's just nothing but if you you just talk about politics that's it it really sucks it was a generation of like oh they're fucking using their speech to send their political beliefs like now every and i thought of it i was scrolling today and i saw a few of our like friends and all of their all their podcasts were titled like kamala's running from press now like the fuck are

you gonna talk about right like if something funny happens let's talk about that like what are you gonna fucking bring to this discussion no one wants to hear me talk about i'm happy to tell you how i've arrived my political beliefs i don't think you want to fucking hear it so let's talk about something else totally and i don't think i think for it i don't even know if hypocrisy is the word hypocrisy is the right word because it's like it was 10 years ago when people changed in that time but there was a time when it was just like everyone's like shut up about politics now everyone's doing an hour on it every week and it's tough it's not that much on. It is also a little bit unavoidable where it's like,

I mean, it's something like an assassination attempt, of course. Right. But it does dominate so many headlines. And then it's like,

not even the politics, it's the like, did you see what this person said about the politics? Yeah, yeah, yeah. And it's like, you can't not talk about it. But that's what I mean.

I think politics has come more towards us than we have towards politics. Politics became sports. Yeah. It's like you root for a team and a guy and you root against this guy and that team and you will dig your heels in and you know it's like your team lost the game it's like no well you know the refs it's like same shit you stole it from us it's all the same sort of absurdity um i've also found i don't know if this quite fits it um almost exclusively if you call someone a narcissist you're the narcissist almost exclusively i feel like that's how most most accusations are just admissions like yeah like yeah but specifically that like

the gaslighting manipulating uh narcissistic thing has gotten so popular. If you're throwing that around, I've never thought that about anybody. It's the same thing as what we were saying last week about people who blame the vaccine. It's like, I never even think to blame the vaccine. I would never think to be like, you are displaying narcissistic tendencies. I just think you're an asshole. But if you're saying that about me, it's like, you are displaying narcissistic tendencies you're an asshole you know and if but if you're saying that about me it's like you you are the one that you know too much about that

you're talking that way too much because you fucking are that shit um and last but not least i think not washing your hands not washing your hands is a great one that's a great one and then i think talking like this is i think this kind of just falls under the umbrella of like do as i say not as i do but it's like everybody can tell you like break up with that boyfriend or you shouldn't see that girl or whatever and it's like your relationship sucks yeah yeah you go home and have a toxic you know whatever also so don't fucking you know don't throw stones in the glass house. That falls into my I will not be involved in interventions deal.

Yeah. I'm not getting involved in your relationship. I'll hang out with you a lot less. You can do whatever the fuck you want, man. All right, next up. All right, it's the summer of squirt. Summer of squirt has officially arrived thanks to Can Roadies.

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Boys, if I'm honest, I didn't expect to immediately fucking see or hear my voice on your podcast. Huge fan. Maybe a little uncomfortable. Anyway, I felt kind of guilty because I just kind of gave Kevin a question. So I was like, oh, let me think of something for Fido Berg. I'm a huge fan of Fast and Furious. So are you.

Which one's your favorite? For me, it's number nine. Going into space, are you serious? Ten out of ten. You can't have nine of your favorite fasts. That's crazy talk. Nah, man. I love you.

Appreciate the question. If it's anything outside of five or seven. I feel like I hear five a lot. Five. But what about one? One's great. Five was a turning point. Not just a turning point.

Yes, a turning point. But also, there's a tonal shift for the series. Right. It was, okay, we're becoming a blockbuster. Yeah. One was a cult classic. It was a surprise hit. I think it was supposed to be put out in May,

and it did so well. They had a preview, a premiere in L.A. for the car culture people that Paul Walker had become friends with and stuff like that and people were doing donuts in the parking lot and they were like a huge

like it was a huge event and I think the studio saw it and was like holy shit there's something here let's push this back to our summer blockbuster and so it kind of

it wasn't filmed as a summer blockbuster 5 is when you're like okay it's a blockbuster this is a big movie is that when they like when did like

Ludacris join up Luda was early Luda was 2 Luda was too fast to be furious because Ja Rule bailed on it like okay it's a blockbuster this is a big that when they like when did like ludacris join up luda was early luda was too oh luda was too fast bailed on it yeah yeah so like tyrese and luda have always been in it i don't know if yeah no tyrese was in two as well um so yeah yeah they've been that's like the core four if you will uh but vin diesel was not in two vin diesel wasn't back until the end of tokyo drift but really four um and then jordan or brucer and michelle rodriguez are like the chicks who are always in it always in it yeah yeah they were their full-timers right yeah that's like the family yeah yeah right exactly the it is it is such a cool franchise i always thought they are they making another one

as of right now yeah yeah i think i I think Vin Diesel said they wrapped recently maybe. Or maybe so. I forget. This will be Fast X. This will be 10? No. Fast X has already came out. But this is just like Fast X is crazy.

Fast X just ends in the middle of a movie. Like straight up in the middle of a movie. Like he's driving the car and it just goes to black. Like Jason Momoa's character is like setting off bombs on a dam and it just – they don't go off. The movie just ends. It is – The thing about it is there's always going to be like they added The Rock and Jason Statham, right, for Hudson Shaw. And then now they –

Oh, The Rock's back in the next fast. Right. That's how that's like the post-credits scene. That's the big thing, right. But like then there's like Mom rock's back in the next fast that's how that's like that's the big thing right but like then there's like momoa gets hot in the streets and they bring him in there's always going to be like a bro you're leaving out head or a charlie starin right uh um fucking uh british lady i think she's a madam um not madam what are they called judy dench no that's not judych. It is an older British woman, though.

You know what I want? Is there a world, a crossover, a Tom Cruise, Fast and Furious crossover? I don't think so because they're the same movie. People got mad at me when I said this after Fast and Furious. Or you're saying Mission Impossible is the same thing? The same movie. Sir, I don't know about that. They're extraordinarily similar. I love them both.

I like Fast better, but I love them both. You think so? You don't think that Mission Impossible has a higher air about it? It does strictly because of Tom Cruise. No, but I'm saying I think, and I've actually read that probably not at this point, but I think some of that Mission Impossible shit at this point but i think some of that mission impossible shit is real like the cia does some of that shit like what like like the masks and like some of the like but but how they utilize that is the same way fast cat writers utilize okay

bringing someone back so that so it's just like it's like right right it's crazy that what she just had dimension been living in england for five years instead sure but like that person's been dead for two movies and now they just take off a mask and they're back in the movie. That I understand. I just think the overarching theme of CIA like knock list operatives all over the world is a little more serious. Sure. But Brian O'Connor is a fucking fbi agent yeah yeah yeah yeah versus cia right the same did people really get mad about this this is very funny i i don't i don't i don't think i like actually that's funny it was it did come out after i'd stopped reading comments but

ken jack like replied to my timeline and he's like yeah it's like a steak's the same as a burger or something like that and i'm sure the cinematography is different if you if you have an eye that can catch it oh suck but the like the story and the plot the absurdity is the same in both movies nobody here knows how to do that except for maybe pabst yeah i don't want to hear from anybody who actually they know what they're talking about but the fast franchise is so cool i think because it is like again that you said the family but the like coming it's like a coming of age story of just like real people yeah like i always remember reading the uh i think this is the coolest like experience ever is the when paul walker and vin diesel went to the summer house and they were sitting there on the hotel on the airport floor

charging their phones people stepping over them. And Vin Diesel hit Paul Walker and was like, enjoy this because this is never going to happen again. Everywhere we go from now on, we're going to be swarmed. And he called the shot. You know what? Like, calling your shot on that is so fucking nice. I think that's so cool to be like, have the foresight to be like, dude, enjoy this because it's going to be crazy. What I want is the opposite of that story.

I want somebody who said that, and they just bombed. That's 99. I'm sure there's a million of those stories. But I want to hear from some guy who's like, yeah, no, me and we're just, I'm in sales. He likes sales insurance. And one day we were in a band, and he thought we made it, and he told us.

It's like the M m night shalaman like you're never gonna need to use a gun again to mark walberg when he was in uh the happening you know that one no remember the happening with oh yeah right like i did i only saw the once in theaters i didn't hate it as much as everyone does whether it's regarded as like the stupidest movie ever and he said to him like after you do my movie i'm gonna elevate your like career you're never gonna have to pick up a gun and be like an action star ever again and the way mark walberg i'm sure in the moment he probably was like cool but it bombed so after the fact he tells the story he's like yeah shalaman was like you're never gonna need to pick up a gun again and i was

like okay dude whatever dude did you know mamalan wrote, maybe this is his first movie? We talked about this. Did I tell you? Yeah. She's all that. Yeah. It's a great little movie trivia. It's a great script.

He is a good script writer. Whether or not the movies always pan out. His new one looks awesome. Trap. Yeah. What is it? Josh Hartnett's a serial murderer, serial killer. Yes, in the stadium, right?

In the stadium. It's been set up as a trap for him. So cool. But you know what's crazy? This applies to maybe 10 people. If you go to a lot of movies, they play trailer back to back. It's Trap, and then it's Smile 2, and it's the same fucking beginning so i keep every single time i'm like all these things are cookie cutter i'm like i'm no i just always think they play in

the same trailer again by accident because they both start on on stage female singer red red like lights on her and i'm like oh no yeah this is the one they're showing in theaters. But the two they're showing in theaters right now are like, it's the same exact trailer. At least the opening. This concept of being like he's a nice dad to his daughter and shit when he's a serial killer is fucking, it's just so crazy. Like if I ever had to uh smile by the way it's a great horror movie have you seen smile one i fell asleep i watched it like uh i'll just go

fuck myself yeah you're not a horror guy i feel like i'm not you like long legs though i like long legs a lot yeah um there's an irish i wouldn't call the irish i wouldn't call it horror but no what's that um all i know is they said it was like it's going to challenge long legs for like the horror movie of the summer. It's an Irish horror movie about a wooden statue that like, I don't know, the wooden statue is like haunted or some shit. No, no. It's – but I could just see like – just the idea of like Irish horror movie piqued my interest where it's like, I don't know. They could get fucking creepy with it. I feel like Devil's Doorway do like do like Irish horror movie. Put put put long legs and put like challenge long legs because that was the article.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That's it. Oh, I've seen that picture. I was gonna say that statue thing looks fucking yeah i've seen that i think it's from the creators of smile that's why i bring it up or or something like that smile was scary i'm i don't i don't know i think i think i don't um i don't think categorize the horror genre correctly okay because. Because I don't like slasher. I don't like gore.

Those are kind of two different things, though. Yeah. I hear that. I just call that horror. Got it. But if long legs is horror, then I like horror. I love that. There's suspense and thriller.

It's like suspense, thriller. Yeah. Gore doesn't do it for me, but Scream does it for me. Scream's a slasher. Scream's good. Yeah. Yeah. Scream's...

I like it. I don't love it it's fine it's good um i like there's a trail hereditary is a good story it was great insidious is a good one conjuring the first conjurings were good now they kind of got silly but like i like to um talk to me so yeah yeah yeah i don't know i don't i wouldn't call those horror i guess they are horror yeah i i think you're thinking of gore like saw and shit. Yeah. Hostile. I like the suspense, the thriller, and stuff like that.

So that... Like, there's a trailer before Long Legs for... It's James McAvoy's the star of it. That looks really good. And it looks really creepy. So I like creepy. Do you know in Hereditary when the guy smashes his head against the the desk in school yeah he just did that he broke his nose really actually i'm starting to think that i'm being

fed like fake things on instagram because if this guy actually did this horrific like they said he broke his nose and he's got a honker on him so it's not like he could really like hide it they said he broke his nose doing this and i'm like bro hereditary was a big movie and this is a scary scene but it was not worth it because we could have cgi this or some shit i don't know maybe not maybe maybe it was necessary i don't think you had to smash your face into the goddamn desk have you not seen this past oh great acting by the way, he's fucking freaking out. Oh! Yeah, they said he broke his nose doing that.

And, like, I believe it. Like, if he did it, he surely broke his nose because he smashes it right into the fucking... He did not need to do that. That's what I mean. It would not have taken away, you know, that much of the scene. Another one was when the Joker and Christian christian bale first like the first time they're on the screen together hey heath ledger told him just punch me in the face and i'm like again i don't think you need to do that yeah especially because like movie punches are not

like real you know what i mean we're used to like and all that shit you're gonna like fake that anyway a real punch to the face is like that's just going to hurt your face. And I don't think it's going to have the right effect on screen. In my little experience acting, I'd like fucking do it. Yeah. Well, that's the other side of it. Yeah. I mean, let's just do it.

Fucking punches. Why? Okay. Okay. I mean, I guess in this case it would be better, but it's like, what if I break something and now I have a black eye and now we, you know what I mean? Like we almost can't shoot because it looks this way or that way. Like I remember when I was acting in a Shakespearean play in high school, I, there was a scene like, cause I was, it was a comedy. So I was like the comedic relief part.

And there was a scene where there was was a comedy, so I was the comedic relief part, and there was a scene where there was a wrestling element to it, and this guy helicoptered me, and I was like, just fucking throw me. Yeah. I actually do get that, but something that's like, if it was like you have to land on a fucking bed of nails or something, it's like, just do it for real. Smashing your nose into the ground, you don't need to do that bed of nail i think i think that i would do really i would i would i would aim for my forehead i might miss and hit my nose but like i'd be like all right i'll do it buddy i got news for you i think i'll do it but i'm gonna hit here

and yeah i'd probably hit my nose but like the way I think, it's just more fun. Well, yeah. It's not even – yeah, it's great to get the more realistic shot and all that stuff. But wouldn't it be more fun to fight a little bit? It's almost like the stand – like how I did the stand-up with Tommy where I was playing a character. But still part of me was getting that rush of being on stage and doing comedy. I totally understand that. This is a little off topic, but I was watching... I was looking at the... I'm about to hit you with a little bit of a ricochet shot.

It's not fair, but it's kind of fair. Because you're not a fighter, but it was like... The topic was worst drunk guy. Oh, I'm glad you saw this. I saw this too, and I was going through them. Eddie's list was the fighter, the guy who won't go to bed, the guy who likes to wrestle.

And I was like, this is John. It's like, Eddie just drafted John. You're not really a fighter, but you also have been in fights and will fight, but you're not the starter of the fighters. But guy who won't go to bed and guy likes to wrestle. I was like, that's my boy. But even with, so I was going through it wondering which ones I am.

And I was like, so fighter, I definitely do not think of myself as a fighter. No, but you know. Guy who wants to drive, definitely not. Vandalizer, no. Jekyll and Hyde, I don't think so. I could not believe, by the way, that guy who starts to fight with girlfriends

slipped to 14. Yeah. The guy who's fighting with his girlfriend is the worst. That could be 1-1 in my mind. I can see myself as a guy who won't go to bed, for sure. Totally. I mean, the guy who likes to wrestle is... But I'm...

You do that sober, actually. Yeah, I would say I'm more of a sober wrestler. And I'm also like... That was said so seriously. I'm more of a sober wrestler. I'm also like i'm pretty good with my wrestling like i don't wrestle you you don't like to wrestle you you know who to wrestle i know who i'm not like just gonna wrestle anybody right if i'm in the room with someone who likes to wrestle yeah me and him will wrestle yes but i'm not gonna like start making someone who doesn't want to

wrestle wrestle no that's that's a great. That's a very big distinction too. I like bad stories guy. That guy just, that person just sucks. Is that even a drunk thing? That's just like, you hang out with someone who sucks. Once I have three beers, my stories get real bad. I got bad news for you, buddy. They're bad sober too.

Right. I mean, I definitely know What one would i think i was the most what it's funny they put up nicky smokes for horny guy uh i'll tell you which guy you are how about that i can be shot guy i can be coke guy i can be but like none of them i think am i the major one i'm i'm like i'm like uh you could be a guy who falls in love with a bartender i could be a guy who falls in love with bartender y'all that's that that one is pretty generic but you you give john like a tattooed like tattooed chick maybe with a irish brogue or something like it's it's a fucking rat for you bro i know of a bartender and people

are like you better hope you never meet Emily. And I'm like, don't tell me where she bartends. There's an Emily out there. I do know it's in the East Village. That's funny. That's funny. Actually, I think it was when I was at the wedding. I think it was the Irish guys were like, you can't meet Emily. Because it'll just be.

It'll wreck your life. It's like you two will hit it off and you'll fall in love and it'll be awful. Every time, baby. That's how I do it. That's me. I would say... I'm gonna find her. I'll strictly go out of these

shows. I'm gonna find her. You know what's terrible? I think I'm so boring. I don't think I'm any of like terrible I think I'm so boring like I don't think I'm any of this like I think I'm just the guy who like

sits there being like I'm drunk like in my head I just go oh okay I'm drunk now which is like you almost want to be

one of these things in a way you know what I mean like you don't want to just be boring definitely not the networker

you know who I hate and this is good value by chief guy who's always looking for the next move like just fucking stay we're good

we have a table already we have the drinks already the music is fine why do we have to leave and start the whole process over again no we gotta get in

I'm a one bar a night guy I was always on fucking you know you do like Santa cons or whatever like bar crawls.

Like, why do we have to leave every hour? Yeah. I like this one. Let's just stay here. Right, right. Yeah. It's like, if the next one is worse, then what the fuck are we doing here? I'm down to do a bar crawl until we find a bar we like, and then we stay there.

Yeah. I mean, like, rude to bartender guy is like, you're just a dickhead. Dickhead. Unsolicited advice guy, that can be one where it's like all of a sudden you're drunk and you're really just starting to tell me things it's like shut the fuck up um i don't mind the heart to heart guy yeah i think you need that in this world i won't start a heart to heart but i'll have one and i think we do so little of it that it's like get your liquid courage up and tell me you love me, man. But also, heart-to-heart guy, that comes after coke guy.

Yeah. A lot of these you can map through it the whole thing. It goes this way to that way to this way. Yeah, I could draw lines of places I touch. Yeah. You're not one firmly. I don't think I live in any place. I agree with that, yeah.

Guy who brags about money is again just that's an asshole guy who gets you caught in high school i don't like i'm not the daredevil guy that's probably the least thing that i am on this list like i'm certainly not a fighter but if like shit goes, shit goes down, I'll, you know, push and scrap. I'll do the shots. I'll, you know, I can do all the shit. The whole, like, I'm drunk. I'm going to, like, jump off the roof. Yeah.

I do not have that. You're going to get from the roof to the pool? I don't know. And I don't want to find out. Yeah. That gene is, like, so not in my body. I do not have that at all. I'd actually rather do it than watch someone do it like if someone interesting if someone says like i'll do something crazy i'll be like i'll do it i'll take care of it i'll satiate this whole party and you

don't have to break your legs i don't want to see you try i'll do it does that does that fucking fulfill your rush because i don't want to have to tell my parents why there's an ear in the pool. You know when did you see Tom Cruise broke his ankle

when he jumped from roof to roof in Mission Impossible? There's a scene where he gets up and he's like hobbling. He actually broke his ankle. This is

I'm this is my new personality. Did you know that this thing happened for real in a movie? I like that. I like that.

He's a good guy. I mean, this is where I just will never understand the algorithm because it's like Instagram made me this guy. I interacted with one post, and now it's my entire algorithm, and I can't stop talking about it. This guy actually broke his arm. This kiss was for real. They actually fell in love. This was improvised. But that's what sucks about the algorithm.

Tommy was talking about the other day when we were on the bracket about how he thinks it's crazy how no one, I think it was me and someone else don't use our For You page or I don't use my Explore page on Instagram. And he's like, that's not why. Don't you want things that are just tailored to you? And I was like, no. Everything I like, I didn't know I liked until I saw it.

So you find it. How am I going to find something new again? Yeah. It's like you need a for you algorithm with like a friend who also pushes you a little bit. Yeah. What I would love is my algorithm. I want my algorithm to go out every morning also with two things from John's algorithm. Or it's like I would never, like, wear those clothes or watch that movie, but it's in my thing now because of you.

And I'm like, oh, okay, cool. Oh, you. You don't use fucking – you only use For You. I only use For You page for Twitter. Yeah. Yeah, and TikTok. Yeah, only For You page. Isn't TikTok just all a for you page?

You can go to the following and like, I don't care what anybody I know posted for a TikTok. Oh, that's funny. See, I'm the opposite. I hate them. I go to my following on Twitter because I'm like, I picked these people I want to follow. The for you is just, you know, it's so funny. I kept, I always say, I'm like, why is my for you page on Twitter very very heavily right-wing conservative political and like I'm really not that guy and then I was like

my name is KFC barstool they probably were like okay I was like I don't do anything really that's and then like I work at I don't interact with anything political and I only yeah I think like what I don at I don't interact with anything political and I only am fed right yeah I think you're just like like what I don't I don't use my for you but sometimes if you watch a video twice it'll like feed you a new video yeah it's Trump 100 always right yeah fuck speaking for you page I've been told you this early I've been talking so much shit about Glenn Powell that I know everything about his life. I hope you beat Glenn Powell. I hope he fucking punches you right in the face.

See, I remember on this podcast maybe two years ago coming on and saying that I had a nightmare the night before that we were going to have Travis Kelsey as a guest. And it was pre-Taylor and all that stuff. And that was a true story. It was a true nightmare. And I would have no

problem telling Travis Kelsey that because I think he'd be like I get it yeah totally I was a douchebag I think he's like yeah I was a fucking

I don't know if someone was like dude I saw your stuff from like five years ago I fucking hated that yeah me too me and you both

me and you both brother I think Glenn Powell would be the same way I'd be like I get why you fucking wouldn't like me yeah both brother i think glenn powell would be the same way like i get why you fucking wouldn't like me yeah សូវាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប� Bye.