KFC Radio - Ben Schwartz, Cory G, Call Her Daddy's Yoko Ono, and The MEANEST Thing You Could Say To Someone

Episode Date: May 19, 2020

Please subscribe, rate 5 stars, and leave a review! We kick off the show talking about the current drama with Call Her Daddy and the all time reigning champion of the Lord Farquaad lookalike contest who's responsible for tearing them apart. We then go on to discuss Feits getting ripped apart for his knees on a thirst trap this past weekend. We recap the best characters and stories that came to light during the final episode of The Last Dance. Top 5 Tuesday returns and in honor of The Last Dance ending we do Top 5 Favorite pairs of Jordans. Lastly, we get to voicemails which include cliche breakup lines, shave & bail, and more. (01:28:20)Ben Schwartz impromptu joins the program after we tweeted at him. We discuss how great Middleditch and Schwartz (Netflix) is, he gives us a behind the scenes look at what the filming process for it was like, and much more. (02:05:00) Cory Gregory returns to the show. We discuss Christmases at the Schwarzenegger household, adapting to working out in quarantine, and more. Let us know what you think on twitter. @kfcradio @kfcbarstool @feitsbarstool @rejectedjokes @corygfitnessYou can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/kfcr

Hey, KFC Radio listeners, you can find every episode of KFC Radio on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. All right, let's get into it. It's another edition of KFC Radio on the Barstool Sports Network. Lots to talk about, John. Lots to talk about. We're on the Barstool Sports Network. I was going to say, you know, we've been doing at least one and mostly two episodes a week for the better part of a decade. No drama, no complaints. Also, no fucking, you know, meteoric rise to the top of millions of dollars.

But, hey, we are on the Barstool Sports Network. We always have been. We probably always will be. And that's more than you can say for some other shows. Caller Daddy at the center of everything the internet buzzing and what a fucking soap opera this is we got boyfriends we got backstabbing we got millions of dollars in my last 12 hours i went on such a crash course with this because i knew we were going to talk about it i didn't even know they weren't on the show i didn't know they weren't airing shows i i'm i'm so course with this because I knew we were going to talk about it. I didn't even know they weren't on the show. I didn't know they weren't airing shows.

I'm so lost with this stuff where I just bury my head in the sand just because I'm like, well, it doesn't concern me, so give a shit. I didn't realize there was any of this shit going on. But I'm up to date now. I'm quite up to date. I mean, let's start

by saying that Peter Nelson, that dude stinks. Dude. He sucks so much. I want them to come back just because it's good for the company and all that stuff. And I guess I don't really give a shit. The. Well, I mean, like, yes, I want that. I want Barstool Sports to do well. I never thought of them as

Barstool Sports. That's why I didn't really give a shit about them. I think they're fucking frauds and assholes. I think, I don't know how it can come back after. Like, Peter Nelson ruined Call Her Daddy, and not just by his actions. I mean, his very existence.

His involvement involvement his overwhelming like i just mean like once you saw his picture you were just like oh these girls like this is like this is what you guys are fucking talking about like it's it's like like in the uh the exact opposite of like a monster movie yeah like it's always scarier when you don't see the monster so the idea of this suit man was like oh these girls are fucking like hot dudes and hot I see this fucking dingbat like I have no

I already didn't really have like respect for what not respect because I respect their show but I just didn't like them as people like I don't know I don't even know them but I just didn't like them as people. It was like, I don't know. I don't even know him, but I just didn't care for him. It was, they were, they were similar to rap with me.

We're like the second they came in, I was like, well, I don't like your vibe. Rubbed you the wrong way. Yeah. I think we did that. It was probably not a great career choice by us, but I think Dave did ask us to do a show with him. And we were like, no, we, when, when they first started,

it was like, well, this is like the female version of John and Kevin. They like, it would be a great crossover. and at that point they hadn't blown up and at that point like you just described that was pretty much everyone's experience where it was like oh i don't really enjoy this and we were like we can't see the radio we're like desperately trying to keep call our daddy away away from us we are not not good businessmen. But I stand by that because I didn't want to be in a weird or sex show. Sometimes we tell a joke, but

I didn't want to be on a show with them. I don't know. I don't even know what their show is. I've never listened to their show. I saw that one clip about a jalapeno seed. That's all I know about Call Her Daddy. I didn't care for that. I was like, I don't want to be part of this uh dumb absolutely idiotic boneheaded move if we could have been a part of but that's the thing if i ever actually it's not a double well if looking back i thought like oh

man alex and sofia would have like collabed with us every week and we would have like risen together then i would be like oh fuck they want no part. And we would have like risen together. Then I would be like, Oh fuck. They want no part of us. They want no part of our stool. They want no part of certainly us. Like it would not have been a, like a missed opportunity. It would have been a one-time thing that really didn't matter for either of us. Right. Yeah. So it's, it's nice to say we rejected them.

Fuck off. So did you see, there's a, a tick tock that's going viral viva la stool tweeted it and it said exactly what you're describing it said what we thought alex and sophia's mans look like and there's a picture of like dansby swanson and like and bryce hart like all these like sexy baseball players and then there's these gq models and like david beckham in a suit and then it shows peter nelson and like cgaard looking balding and shit. Which is like, yeah, I mean, that's just like, I don't, I don't understand. Like if your whole thing is like,

fuck men and like you call me daddy and then you lose your job because fucking some guy in a suit convinced you to. How do you listen to anything ever again? because fucking some guy in a suit convinced you to. Crazy. How do you listen to anything ever again? And you know what's really crazy? It sounds to me, what I've heard from Dave on the rundown, it sounds like when Dave came and made, and we'll talk about Dave's negotiating in a second.

I want to get your thoughts on that. But it sounds like Dave came back and made them an awesome offer that even they realized we can't refuse this. And it sounds like Sophia was saying basically, well, Peter, like, stuck his neck out for this to make this happen. And we can't do anything to make him look bad. Like, you want to talk about daddy move? Daddy shit would have been like, sorry, bro. Peace. Right.

I don't give a fuck that you stuck your neck out at work. Men ain't shit. And instead it was like, I don't want my boyfriend to be in trouble at work. The whole idea of a dude, a boy, a boyfriend Yoko Ono taking down the daddy Beatles is like, holy shit. Chef's kiss to anybody who was railing against the daddy gang because no matter how much money they make and how big they get,

that being the vibe around them is just a vibe killer. It really is. I mean that wholeheartedly. I don't see... Now, again, I wasn't a fan, so it doesn't really affect me to begin with, but if everything that someone's been telling you is not the way they live... I think people, first of all, thought that the show was very real. I think it's kind of been put out now that like it's a very edited scripted show which is fine it's it's it's fine to do scripted shows it's a little lame when you're pretending it's not right but like scripted shows exist i enjoy scripted shows it's fine right but like when you're just like it's fake. I feel like the part of Barstool that we always liked is it's all real.

And it's just like an exactly opposite world with them. And that's kind of why I never, I always like avoided just like even interacting or learning about anything with them. Cause I, they bring up complicated emotions with me and I avoid those kinds of things where it's like, like part of me resents them cause they came into Barstool and it was like, like,

you're like, Oh, you're not like, we've been doing this way for 15 years or 10 years, however long we've all been here. Like you're not doing it the way you're not doing it. And like, I resented that.

And then like part of it, there's obvious jealousy where it's just like, well, they're a really big podcast. Why are my, why are maybe people just like them more? That hurts to like fucking realize that. So like everything with them,

I try and avoid. And now that I'm really reading into it because of all this, I hate them. It's just the blanket hate now. Yeah, no. And what's crazy, what Call Her Daddy made

me realize is how many people there are in the world. Because Barstool is deep. There are millions of stoolies. And I would say the vast majority, at least of the vocal ones who are on social media and writing emails and shit like that, giving feedback, all to a man or woman hated them. And yet, they're the biggest podcasts on the internet.

So that either means the world's bigger than I thought, or a lot more people are liars than I thought. They're listening as a guilty pleasure, or there's just that many people to pull from, from the podcast audience, that the Daddy Gang can be completely separate from Barstool in a way and still be... I mean, dude, they took off like four episodes.

They took off like a month. And Dave said it cost $300,000 off like three, like four episodes. It took off like a month. And Dave said it costs three to $400,000 of revenue. That's a lot. That's right. If you're talking $100,000 an episode of advertising, is that the real deal? Like maybe he meant, I don't know if it's just straight up,

like we do a couple ad reads for like $45,000 each. That's fucking insanity. That's's fucking insanity that's a lot that's a lot yeah and that's where I mean and to put it in perspective again I don't know the numbers I don't know we know as much as fucking fans do about the inside numbers of Barstool they must have been

making an un godly amount of money for Dave Portnoy to bite his tongue the way he has. Like, yeah. And maybe I think it's a combination. I think it's money. And I think it's the fact that they're girls. I think if a barstool, an OG barstool person or just a regular barstool person tried to

do these demands and tried to bully him in negotiation, it would all be public instantly. I mean, Jared Karab has had like one conversation with a guy who was like, Hey, you ever think about coming to DEI? And Dave was like, you rat motherfucker. I mean, like you can't talk about anything or anybody without Dave, but you on blast. But I think when it's a guy, he feels a little more threatened. And when it's a girl, it's like, it's out of sight, out of mind. But I also think like, you know, for anybody who at barstool who might be thinking like how come i don't fucking get treated like this because you don't make even a fraction of the money that these girls apparently were making i can't even knock it like part of it some people threw out like they're mad

about the money they were making that was an incentive-based contract they earned every fucking dime they made and like that was as as uh capitalistic as it gets although i will say i figured that that would happen that people would get mad like they made x money i i thought it was so obvious that like well yeah they were worth that much money they went to they got 75 uh 75 000 base and they just made you know several hundred more off of merch and download bonuses and stuff. I will say that I got a call on CCK today, and it was a girl being like,

every episode those girls talk about how poor they are, and they were clearing half a million dollars. So that's another thing where it's like, this is all. Yeah, like we kind of said, it's all fake. It's all like, it reminds me of those curated Twitter boys that KB tweets about where it's like I'm like the wholesome boys. It's like the exact opposite of that. It's just

the hoey girls. I'm sure to an extent it's how they live their lives, but also Yeah, I mean, I'm sure they suck some dick every now and then. I had a call that same girl called. Do you think there's any chance like could they be friends again?

Is there any, any chance this podcast come back? I think, I think the podcast comes back with just Alex. It sounds like Alex wants back in. Dave says he thinks Alex will be back and she will be like totally different and we'll be like in the mix at Barstool. I think that ship has sailed. I'm going to have to delete a bunch of this stuff then no no no that's the point no is that like she might want to be like cool with us now but it's like we all like said hello and you had your chance although i guess no she seemed alex didn't seem like the i don't fucking know i was gonna try and

save something there whatever no alex is for sure the better, more talented, hard worker, you know, driving force of it for sure. But I think once Sophia... Sophia Franklin better fucking marry that dude because she had the golden ticket. Oh, there's no chance. There's no chance.

They're already broken up. Everyone on Twitter, does that mean to you? That relationship is done. It's a wrap. There's no way you can... They'll resent each other so much forever. For one, Sophia losing her job. And two,

Peter Nelson. Everyone just destroying this man. He'll never be able to think he's handsome ever again. Sometimes you have a moment where you look in the mirror like, oh, I look good today. Peter Nelson's never getting another one of those. They're done.

The entire Twitter and mean college, high school girl, I imagine that's what the caller daddy demographic is. Those are the meanest people on the planet. Just roasting you. And they're just destroyed. He'll never have

happiness ever again. And that's because of Sophia. So you have to just break up. That could never... That relationship could never come back. There was a tweet. Let me see. This was just from a regular girl. Nobody famous.

Just said, Sophia Boo, you ruined your whole ass career for a man who looks nobody famous just said sophia boo you ruined your whole ass career for a man who looks like this not very daddy of you random girl 600 retweets 2500 likes like immediately like that too right right as the episode dropped and there's probably millions more now i i knowing you i'm almost positive you did not go ahead and read his Forbes 40 under 40? No. Okay. Where was this? Where did I even come across this thing?

How do you think I Googled this guy? Well, no, Dave mentioned it in his video. He's like, go Google Peter Franklin's 40 under 40, and I'm going to read it to you now at least a couple bits just to like just just in case people are thinking we're being like you know jealous or haters or whatever like this is like undeniable proof this guy stinks so bad first of all he went to hbo sports he got rid of boxing he brought in bill simmons and he brought in lebron so when you think of barstool and him, you got rid of like Dave's favorite sport, the sweet science, you brought in LeBron James and Bill Simmons. Dave has been like unknowingly torpedoing everything this guy's ever done at HBO Sports. So they did this little like, they did a whole interview on them, but then they did like a quick like question

answer, question answer. What gets you you fired up first of all 37 from uh from newton mass went to harvard uh got his degree in ancient greek i mean can you even script it dude like you studied ancient greek what an absolute waste of fucking time to just be a pretentious asshole no i mean that's unbelievable what gets you fired up new ideas oh my god uh profession you'd like to most attempt competitive eater guilty pleasure staying off of social media something your friends would consider quote unquote putting that one to the test today. Yeah.

Well, that's what I'm thinking, right? That's his guilty pleasure. His guilty pleasure is staying off social media and everyone's guilty pleasure is social media. That's the lamest guilty pleasure of all time. My guilty pleasure is no one else's guilty pleasure. Oh,

you're a son of a bitch. He's the worst. What? Something your friends would consider quote. So you not tweeting like, all right, dude, we get it.

Yeah. Yeah. This guy's got more burner accounts than Katie. Like if you're being fucking out there for sure, this is, if you talk about how much you respect women, you're a scumbag. If you were talking about how much you're not on,

on Twitter, you're on it. If you talk about how you hate gay people, you're sucking dick. These are just, um, something you could not go a day without. What would be your answer for that, John?

Your phone, Twitter, food, whatever, right? Peter Nelson says, brave news reporting. It's like, get the fuck... Literally, you know what's one thing I could go a day without? Fucking news,

man. News reporting, that's always the goddamn worst. That's like the worst. What the hell? This dude stinks a mile long. Wait, wait. It gets better. It gets better. Your cause that you support, the American Ballet Theater.

Now, I know you're a Broadway guy, John, and you're into the arts, but when you're at HBO sports and you're specifying that your main cause is the American ballet company. How does he, how does he not get fired right away? Like this,

this is such a clear, this man is not up for the job. I don't know what the job is. It doesn't matter what the job is. Any job. This guy's not right. What that was, especially that one, like HBO sports. All right't know what the job is. It doesn't matter what the job is. Any job. This guy's not right. Especially that one. HBO Sports.

We got to get new. We got to get young. What are 18 to 35 males and women looking at? How are we going to get digital? What are we going to do on the internet? Oh, I'm not on my phone. I like the ballet and I want to do news. Get the fuck out of here, man. What the sports industry needs to do a better job of elevating

women's stories like as you go and torpedo your girlfriend's career because you probably had to have more control over her ideal day off without my phone like we you know i hate the whole blah blah blah is not a personality trait but not being on social media not having a phone not a person you can't say it four times in an interview i got it i got it you understand fine do you have anything interesting to talk about so what i think my the reason i keep going on about this fucking quagmire look i hated this guy as i judged a book by its cover and i'll tell you what the cover was more interesting the book was was. The cover was better, yeah. I judged it with hatred, and then I read a few pages of the book just now, and it's even worse than I expected. I'm justified in my hatred.

It makes perfect sense. And that is the reason why I think that Call Her Daddy will be back. It won't be with Sophia, but it will be because whether you're a daddy gang or team Portnoy, everybody's going to say, fuck Peter Nelson. So it almost allows this third party where everyone can say, all right, well, the podcast is back. Hey, we deal with our differences.

Don't worry about that. Fuck this guy. And I mean, I was thinking, I listened to Boomer and Carton for 10 years. Carton is like a fucking radio professional, like an all-timer. And they swapped in Greg Giannotti for him. And in the beginning, it was a little weird. And now I just completely watch that show. Fine, no problem.

Dan left KFC Radio, and we're fine. We're talking about shows with really talented people that left that can survive. If Alex Cooper goes and gets another girl who will openly talk about fucking dudes, they're fine. They're fine. If you're thinking deeply about it, you'll probably think everything we've said. You let a man blow it up and you're frauds and this and that. But people don't do that. We do that because it's in our world and we're podcast nerds. But the average person are just tuning in because they want to hear hot girls

talk about sucking dick. Were they friends before Barstool? Before the podcast? Before Barstool, I don't know about before the podcast. I know they were roommates, so they must have had some connection. I don't understand how...

The most baffling thing to me is letting an actual friendship go if that's what they had. Right. I'd be like, well, I don't know, I can't even think of a situation in which, like, I would hang you out to dry or let, I'd be like, all right of a sudden I came to you and was like, you know, my wife says that we should fucking hold them ransom and like not go to work and I'm not showing up. I think you'd be like, oh, yeah. But that's what I was picturing in my head. I'm Sophia. I'm I'm I'm the sidekick in my own fantasies.

Got it. Yeah, I would have just been like, yeah, I'll just, I'm just going to do the thing we do. Like, I'm not gonna, I'm not going to listen to this person who I met probably within the last six months or so. Yeah. Right. I mean, that's, it's definitely not like, I don't think it's like a lifelong thing. Like when they were like second grade or some shit. Um,

but also at the end of the day, are you surprised that two hot chicks who love attention and money are not getting along anymore? I love attention and money, too. Yeah, but you're a guy. Those are the two things I'm quite a big fan of.

So Nardini went on her podcast, too, by the way. She was playing for fucking keeps. She was talking about HBO being like, aren't you guys fucking embarrassed to this dude? She was calling out their agents. She was calling out Wondery. Wondery was ready to sign a deal to them knowing that they already had a contract with us. And you know what? I'm just sitting here being like, we've never brought any agent bullshit.

We've never had any drama. We've never had any drama we've never missed work we've never just mother fucker why aren't we hot slots man why aren't we hot slots i think i am Or at least pretending to be hot slots. All right, so that's the daddy saga. I would imagine... You think there's overlap between KFC Radio and Call Me Daddy? No. Yeah, I was going to say, I'd imagine most all hardcore KFC radio listeners or even casual would hate those

girls. I mean, look, I hate the character. I don't know the people, but I hate the character. And it's, I don't know. We'll see what happens when she's back in the office, apparently, or something. Oh, boy. I don't think we're going to... I would be

surprised to see her. It was all Sofia's idea to not be at Barstool? No, that's the thing. I don't think losing Sophia changes that. Yeah, unless there's just like an apology or like an epiphany where it's like, oh, wow, I really fucked up. I'm pretty sure she feels the same way about Barstool. But, boy, I would love to know what's going on right now in the Franklin Nelson house.

Like, so hon, what's up? Like, uh, well, I don't know. I'm the laughingstock of the industry and like all the social media is making fun of me. How are you, babe? Like I'm out of a job. So I live here now. I'm out of a job and a best friend and a roommate so guess who i am guess what and that's where i mean if there's ever been a call for the preemptive breakup not even preemptive it's it's it's just time because take it take it from your boy once someone does something that sets the entire public and social media to sick on you every day of your life. Ain't no coming back.

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weird? I actually don't either to be honest. So this weekend John Henry posted a Instagram. It just let's call that what it was that was a thirst trap well that's what you thought it was you thought you were posting a thirst trap and you had your birkenstocks and your socks on and your short shorts and your your fucking your guns out and uh but unfortunately your knees were out and apparently your knees i i honestly i still don't really get it i mean

i think everybody's knees are kind of weird and wrinkly and the amount that the internet will just ridicule you for everything about your person your appearance like i almost feel bad for peter nelson that quagmire motherfucker when i think about your knees because it's just like i don't know i looked at his fucking face and his shirt i don't know i didn't cool shirt i should have cropped it it was a cool shirt yeah uh here's the thing though one thing i can tell you uh if you're gonna have everyone make fun of a part of your body knees might be number one the one okay i there's nothing i can do about the knees okay like right on my stomach when i make fun of my boobs i make fun of my nose they're all things yeah right yeah my knees they're just

their knees and this that's all you can do with them they just they work okay i crack them now and again yeah i i feel like it's similar to having bad feet, maybe. Do I want my toes all mangled and shit? No, but most of the time they're hidden and they're not a sexual thing. No one's kissing or touching your knees. It could be better, I guess, but now it's just a thing. John's knees. What are the worst body parts to have be a bad thing?

Your face? Your stomach? No, I think you got to go more specific. Oh, okay. What? Bad penis. You're putting penis number one? As far as, yeah, because that changes your whole worldview.

That probably does. Like if you grow up with a bad dick you're like timid and you're never gonna you don't want to show it and you're just not confident uh but i would also say that like if you just got like a gross mouth like bad teeth like no one even wants to be around you ever yeah you're you're automatically like if you have a gross mouth people just think you're stupid yeah you're dumb you're poor you're automatically, like, if you have a gross mouth, people just think you're stupid. Yeah, you're dumb, you're poor. There's nothing else where, like, if you look at it and it's bad, like, that person's dumb. Right.

You see a fat person, you don't immediately think idiot. Right. But you see someone with a gross mouth, idiot, stupid fool. Stupid, you're poor, your family couldn't afford what? Braces at all? Like, what's going on here? I think the lowest of you when you got bad teeth. That should that's the cardi b bro like i got my money i fixed my teeth that should be the first thing you do if you if you got money and you're ugly fix your mouth first

before your tits or your face your hair whatever get teeth because that shit is gross without it the uh nose nose is a bad one nose is one is one that has hindered my life. So nose gets on top of that. But you know what? Like, yeah, I mean, having a nice nose, I can't speak from experience. But I feel like also having a big nose is like enough of a thing that enough people have gone through. Like, what do you always say? Like, it's the Caesar's nose or some shit like that.

It's the Roman nose, Kevin. Roman nose. say like it's the caesar's nose or some shit like that nose kevin you almost have some some ammo because you're like me and my fellow big nose guys know how to combat this you know i feel like if you have i was never i was never a combatant it was like it's like yeah i just got made fun of yeah i don't know i don't know what to tell you i i like to change the setup at KFC Radio because when I turn, we've never done it, but I think about it. It's on the white screen, and it's just like highlighting. I didn't know that.

Why did you say something? Well, fix it. People will tweet it at me and be like, when you turn, your nose gets huge. I'm like, well, it's always huge. You know what we're going to do? We're going to make the background when we get back like flesh colored, and it'll just blend in.

You only know where the nose starts and stops. It's just like people just make fun. We just walk into school and be like, what's up, big nose? That's just something I had to deal with my whole life. People are just so mean, and it's so funny. I tweeted out Peter Nelson, and people people he looks like Quagmire. They said he looks like the Stonehead sculptures

from Easter Island. They said he looks like Jigsaw. They said he looks like Teddy Perkins from Atlanta when he's dressed up in whiteface. He looks like Farquaad from Scrooge Shrek. He really doesn't

look like a human being. It's just like, he really doesn't, he really doesn't look like a human being. It doesn't make sense. He looks like, um, in men in black when an alien would take over a human body, but it would be a little bit out of shape, you know?

So, uh, yeah, people can be brutal, but that's where I think that like your dick is, your dick is more about you because nobody sees it until you allow it. That's the test. Right. But if you have your own insecurities on the inside because of it, you're fucked.

Whereas if you've got bad mouth, bad nose, a lazy eye, bad hair, balding, people are just going to let you know about it all the time. It's one of those things where it sucks too. Cause it's just like, you can't say anything. Like if you're just not pretty, it's, it's one of the worst things in the world. If you're fat, you can be like, I could lose the weight. Right. If you're ugly, it's like, I mean, I'm not getting surgery. I'm just, I can like tweet a blog where it's like something like heartfelt or like a great fucking point I'm making in a post.

And someone, some son of a bitch, can just say, whatever, big nose. And there's nothing I can do. Whatever, big nose. And I'm just broken from there i'm just i'm just shredded i want to go peter nelson and just avoid the internet because like someone accurately described my nose it's just like whatever you win again damn you internet it's why it's why you can't fight with children because they just know the thing to get you right away. They just, they can, children are just like, they said, they don't even know it. They just, they,

they will look at you and kids will be like make fun of his tits and like, they don't even know how much it's going to hurt you, but it's correct. There's, there's, there's nothing meaner you can do or say to somebody than just accurately describing them. Yeah. My kids do it to me by accident all the time. They'll be like,

they'll just, like, my kids will just call me fat. Like, Shay will just be like, Daddy, you got a big butt. I'm like, I fucking know. Or like, Keegan came up to me the other day and was just like playing the bongos on me and was just like, your belly's soft. So I was like, fuck! Damn it! You're my own flesh and blood!

But also, you you know what's even bigger than that too is like accurately describing what someone does and just being like this is who you are as a person and i can sum it up in a sentence right and you're like god you're right like like like we do it at work we're just like but i think nate is the one who does it the most. Nate would be like, KFC radio. If you just say exactly what it is we do in a little bit of a voice and you can sum it up in a tweet, it's so mean.

I used to get so mad about it when people would do it when Saturday Night Live Boys was big. Oh, it's John Fidelberg, Saturday Night Live Boys. You're right! I hate it! That's why you always got to be interesting.

Always be interesting enough that people can't put you in a tweet. There's more. You're leaving it out. There isn't, but no one has more. No. Everybody has their one thing that someone can go, I'm and you'd be like fuck you're right you're right

I'm John I do accounting that's what I do with the majority of my life but when you say it like that it's so mean I wonder if like how big do you have to get

to be above that? Like, you can't do that to Michael Jordan, right? Uh-oh, look at me. I'm the sneaker guy. Yeah, like, I mean, you can, but... If I said that to Michael Jordan's face, he would be offended.

Like, oh, I sell my sneakers and I play basketball, man. Like, yeah, I made a offended. Oh, I sell my sneakers in every basketball land. Like, yeah, I made a million. Still, whatever, dude. Yeah, go sell some more sneaks, Mike. You can't. You can't. It's so perfect.

Like, it's so perfect. Oh, I'm Bobby O. I play hockey. Do DiCaprio. Do DiCaprio. Oh, look at me. I'm king of the world. Do George Clooney.

Do George Clooney. Oh, I robbed the banks. Oh, no. I robbed the banks. Hey, you see that casino? Gonna rob it. No, you know what would be good one uh yeah no i uh i i make small craft tequila by myself i do my own tequila yeah okay yeah it made me casamigos

bro yeah whatever tequila tequila guy oh yeah look at me i drink tequila yeah i love it it's so true uh like nobody nobody's safe out here man and everybody's insecure it's so important to remember and this is what i really love about like most comedians like comedians don't ever try to pretend they're not they'll be like oh yeah like we're shallow we're vain and we need acceptance and if you don't give it to us it hurts but to think about something like the the top top people of the world that like you can if you know the right way you can get them it's accurately describing the meaning since white kids just accurately describe what i do in my life like oh i'm johnny do podcasts yeah most of my life is either sleeping or podcasting that's it that's

that's when i'm conscious it's what i do the most it's even just summing up a little word whatever big nose whatever did you see oh so you didn't watch last night did you I fell off the last dance hard I don't know why I fell off hard because I learned that you could just watch something else

and get everything what do you mean like you just like people tweeted the good parts. Oh, yeah. It's like, I only, I thought there was too much time.

I thought 10 hours was too long. And, he's right. I could watch Scrubs reruns last night, which I did. And I could get the pizza thing, which I already knew. Yep.

And then like, what was the other, was there anything else big? Um, the pizza thing happened. MJ went into like talking about how they all would have come back for another year. It was not their decision to end it, which is always interesting. But also, did you see Jerry Krause's article?

No. So it's from Jerry Krause's book that was never published. And Jerry Krause describes, he doesn't seem like a bad guy anymore. Yeah, I was going to say, this is Michael's version. We had Frank Borkowski, a Sonics center on last week on the radio, and he lives next to Phil Jackson out in Montana. And after the first two episodes aired, he texted Phil and said, what do you think?

And Phil wrote back, well, it's definitely Michael's version. So there's Phil's version, there's Scotty's version, there's Jerry's version, there's the other Jerry's version. So there's Phil's version. There's Scotty's version. There's Jerry's version. There's the other Jerry's version. And I'm sure they differ greatly. Jerry's breakdown, which it was real. It was like I didn't realize where everyone went after the year after. Like Dennis Rodman played 30 more games.

What's that? What'd you say? Dennis Rodman played 30 more NBA basketball. Yeah, like the worm was definitely washed up. But like that was Michael's point was like, Dennis would come back to play with me. I would come back and play with Phil. Scotty would have been tough to convince. But if Scotty would all of a sudden be the guy who was going to miss out on seven to go play elsewhere, he's coming back. Steve Kerr would have come back. He basically was like, we could have got the band together for one more try. Now, Phil was the one.

Jerry Reinsdorf, the owner, went to him and said, I don't care what Jerry Krause said. You've earned the right to coach again. And he said, I want to take a break. So you could put the blame on him. It's very easy to blame the fat, curmudgeon, dead guy. Yeah. In this article, too, he was like, look, I took care of everybody. He's like,

Scotty, we did a sign and trade for it. So he could be eligible for big $20 million more on that contract. Like we didn't have to sign and trade them. We could have just let him go somewhere else. He's like, I called Luke Longley. I called Steve Kerr.

I said, we are not going to get in a, uh, in a bidding war for you to take the first good deal you see. Uh, he's like, I didn't tell people about Scototty's decline like about his declining health uh i'm sorry about dennis's declining health i let him get a big deal i let

it's like i let everyone i made sure he said he like sat down with like i don't know a bunch of the front office guys i think he said almost the whole front office and then he said again this is his version he said my number one rule in there was nothing that's said in here gets out. If we think a guy's done, we don't share that with anybody. Everyone gets to go get their money. And I was like, that's a pretty cool thing to do, right? You can decide a guy's done. Jerry Reinsdorf last night said he was hell-bent on not becoming the Celtics of the 80s,

where I guess the Celtics held on to their crew too long and then they were just like totally hung out to dry so like you know there was some it wasn't like personal vendetta there was like this is logical like we've done it and everything last night was funny it was like you could tell michael was out of gas mentally and emotionally and physically and then they cut to him being like, we were going to win seven. No problem. Which, you know, it's Michael. He's probably right.

But also there was plenty of writing that like, these guys are all done and they've done it. And like, it's just time to move on. There was that. There was what my favorite thing. There was a really like, my favorite thing about Jordan that I've learned is Mike Wozniak. The,ak, the guy with the mullet who he was boys with. His best friend and personal assistant was that guy George, who was just this white guy with a big burly beard.

And he had this other security guard named Gus, who took on his father figure form when his dad died and got murdered. And then eventually he got cancer. I'm crying over this guy Gus that I didn't even know existed a minute ago so like hearing those stories it seemed like michael kept like his his inner circle was all like limo drivers and security guards you know i mean like he took care of like all the the regular people like really good which i think is the number one sign for like is a is, is a, is a celebrity, a scumbag or not, I think is how they treat normal people. And he treated like all of them like gold. But the coolest shit was after 98, after winning the sixth, the two, two, three

Pete's who's back there, DiCaprio, like as a fucking what? 16 year old. I don't know how old at that point. And so MJ is coming back to the locker room he's got the hat the shirt the cigar the trophy and he's like oh what's up boy i was just watching uh the man with the iron face and someone's like iron mask and he's like yeah yeah iron mask and leo like dabs him up and he's like congratulations michael like you're awesome i'm like oh man like just the the cream of the fucking crop back there.

Like, I know he's on top of the world with Titanic and Man of the Iron Man, all that shit. But to get into MJ's locker room after the sixth title is like, holy fucking shit, man. One thing that was weird, I guess it's like you could tell, you know the the documentary was about basketball right yeah but like it is weird that like there's just nothing about his family in it yeah i mean you know i everything i've read from the internet and people who know is like his his first wife is not talking like she is not doing this this uh documentary and his mom was in it. His brother was in it. Larry. Imagine being Larry Jordan. I'm a bald black guy from the Jordan family. I'm just

Larry. That's fucking wild. Larry Jordan is the perfect name for him. Perfect. I'm sure Michael was like, we did the stuff about my dad and that's all you're getting. I can understand that. I would think

he was married and he had children right like during those ones none of that but i think i think that's interesting so do i i'm like that to me it speaks volumes i just don't know how like if you you know it's like the way we do things like dan doesn't talk about his family i do like if dan were to do a documentary he'd be like we're not doing that so is it that reason or is it like they wouldn't be involved if you asked them to you know like which why is there a no which side is it coming from i think is is like the million dollar i would guess it's coming from michael just because i also think i think it's so weird that they just rented his neighbor's houses to do the yeah like right including your house man right especially if it's to do neighbor. If you're like,

let's make it look like I'm in a whole different place. But if it's just the house next door, I think they said it was three houses in his neighborhood that they rented. They might have used the same one. It was all... You could just use your house and just fucking...

You don't have to put your address there. You could just be in a corner. Actually, knowing that now, the very end was like this, they played this music, and they had MJ, he was, like, sitting in, like, a, on, like, a chair, looking out these, like, ceiling-to-floor glass

doors as he, like, puffed on a cigar, and I'm like, that's probably his first time ever being in that room. Right. Like, in my mind, it was like he, he finished the interview, and then was, was like introspectively sitting in his favorite house spot in the house. It's like, no,

he was just like, all right, I'm going to go back down the block. I see later. Yeah. He didn't even drive to these places. He just walked across the street. Why don't we want to be in your house?

It does. Being that secretive is just strange to me. And I know there are people who are like that and it's fine. It's just like, I guess if there was ever somebody who would make sense for it would be a guy like Michael who like went to a level of fame and icon status that like nobody would ever even be able to relate to. So in honor of today's KFC radio top five,

we're going to be doing a little last dance dance mj oriented list we're going to do top five air jordans brought to you by jack pocket now jack pocket is uh the best way to just play the lottery on your phone so it lets you play mega millions it lets you play powerball tons of other official state lottery games right on your phone uh you don't have to worry about getting cash you don't have to worry about going out to the the gas station or the bodega you don't have to see anybody during quarantine you can get this right on your phone play any of the the uh local lotteries and uh cash in you can go you can be in jersey texas new hampshire arkansas colorado minnesota oregon and was.C., where Jack Pocket players have won over $9 million in lottery prizes, including college football player in Minnesota who won a million on Powerball.

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he was talking about the Reebok pumps he once wanted and the Jordan 1s he wore. So a lot of us have long-running history with their Jordans. I know Fights has a couple favorite pairs for being a style guy. So I believe you have first pick. Yeah, I think my list is going to be lame. I'm kind of embarrassed. Why?

I don't think I want to have cool stories. I don't have fucking cool stories either. Just what shoes I like. Alright, so then I'm going to go with... Luckily, I'm in my brother's room. He just has... Oh, wow. in my brother's room. He just has... Oh, wow. He's got the poster.

Yep. I mean, you've got to go with the ones, right? You can go a bunch of different ways. There are three choices in my mind that can go number one overall that I will not have any beef with. I think you kind of have

to... No, because that's disingenuous. I've never had one. So I'll go with threes. Okay. That's another one. I won't begrudge you. I'll go with the cement threes. Mm-hmm. The cement threes, I mean, it's the shoe that saved Nike and Jordan. MJ

signed. He wanted Adidas. It didn't happen. He went to Nike. The one was huge. Made $150 million. The twos totally stunk. He was like, alright, I'm done with Nike. And that's when Tinker Hatfield dropped the cement threes with the elephant prints and he was like, oh mama.

What's the Jordan 2 then? It's the Jordan 2 Stings. I mean, it's the most non-descript It's not even on this sheet. It might be on there, but I couldn't. I could tell you patent leather or elephant print or whatever, and you'd know it. The 2 has nothing like that.

It's got this thing that's supposed to look like wings, kind of. They're just blah. I think 2s and 9s are maybe the worst for me. So the fact that they followed up the ones with such a clunker. My first pick then, I mean, I don't want to – I feel like I'm just handing the ones back to you. But my personal favorite forever and always, the Concord 11s, the black patent leathers.

I was like 12 when those came out, which was like peak, you know, basketball. And I've, I wanted to get cool sneakers and, and that black patent leather, that shiny, that shiny look was, uh, unbelievable. So, and, and then, I mean, since then, I feel like they did the bread 11s they've done the space jam. So I think 11 is, uh, is my choice. All right. I'm going to go, I'm going to be Kai. I'm going to hand the ones back to you now. I never had them, so it's just

if I take them. Fives. I don't like fives. People hate me for fives. People hate me for not liking fives. Let me make sure I'm saying the right ones then. You are. I think you are. Maybe sixes. No, I don't like the fives. I don't like the fives.

Six and seven to me look like identical. No. Fours? You probably like fours. Yes, it's the fours. Fours with the triangle thing on the side there? Yeah. Which fours did you have? I think I always only had black and red. Bread fours did you have uh i think i always only had black and red black and red yeah

that bread fours are another like powerhouse one in that case i will take the ones because i do like ones i do have ones i think at the end of the day it's whether you go high low even mids i know mids don't get a lot of love but i think that's the one like is a shoe that anybody can wear when people tell me like you know i want to get sneakers but like i'm older i'm a white guy i want to look like reasonable i don't want to look silly i tell them the ones because it's like maybe the high tops are a little too much for you but it's just like having a dunk it's just like a swoosh a couple different colors a couple different panels and you're good to go it's the most versatile shoe of all time i think so i'm learning two things right now one um i don't i didn't have as many jordans as i ever

thought i i was never like a a huge jordan guy not an anti-jordan guy either but i i just never i never really had the basketball look so like as a basketball player right yeahrop player. I always kind of liked a different style. As I'm looking at it, I'm like, wow, I didn't have... I never really had these. Were there any pairs you ever wanted that you didn't have? No, I don't think so. I actually like the 12s.

I don't know if the 12s are a popular one, but I like the 12s. Did Drake do the – what's his company? OVO. He's done OVO 10s. I think he did 12s too, though. Yeah.

I think he did. Almost positive he did 12s. Yeah. Yeah. The OVO 12s are like the white with the gold trim on them. But yeah, 12 would have been my next pick there. I like the playoff 12s. It's crazy though, dude, like going back now,

you put on a pair of 12s right now, and you think about playing a professional game of basketball on them. I mean, they're fucking tanks. They are like... I can't relate to basketball, but I always talk about the, one of the most impressive things ever in the history of hockey. Not, not Bobby or stats, not Gretzky stats.

It was at Sergey Samsonov had us all wearing white bricks. Like he completely, and it didn't stick. It was only Samsonov. He had, it was like Nike's it was like nike's first skate and it's just like it's a cool ass skate but they were so impossibly heavy yeah but at the same time you know what gretzky did gretzky had us wearing fucking combat boots right to school with hockey laces so those those are my my Jordans as a kid. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Those look like some Columbine sneakers. With 12s off the table, I'll go with... I've never had these, but I've always wanted to check it off.

10s. I think I'll go with 10s, which I think is a little, it's like a frowned upon 10, but there was the city, this, like they had different city colorways. And like, it was again, for me, it's all about like the timing, like the 10 11s was like at MJ's's peak and retirement and comeback and all that shit so i remember the 10s at that point being like the the shoe that everyone had that i didn't have the great thing about the 10s is the bottom is the coolest part the bottom just has like rows of all of his accomplishments like his titles he won the the mvps he's won the

gold medals he's won so when your your feet were up, it was like that was the coolest part. But I'll go 11-1's 10. Okay, I have the, I think weirdly this was my first pair of them, nines. Really? Nines? I hate nines.

You have nines? I think they're still actually right here. Nines were like the Barron Nines were the first like Birmingham Barons, the colorway of the White Sox minor league team that he had. You got them on hand? I think. Yeah. Wow.

There they are. Shit. Look at that. That's a, that's that. Is that like a, do you know when you got those? No. Yeah. Cause that's like, those are a fucking relic right there. Those are rarely retro. The nines. All right. Uh, in that case, I guess I'll take,

I guess I'll take the fives. I don't, I don't love them as much as other people do but the fives to me uh you know kind of a very 90s high top big tongue some flashy colors i don't love the two three on the side i think that's actually pretty kind of like corny especially considering how much of the jordans have like an off the court look but uh i'll take fives it's it's almost at that point you got to take a early one all right and i think it's my last one i'll go sixes i actually do like some of the sixes like the i don't like the uh the sixes have like uh there's one colorway with the sixes what's like uh it's a rabbit type thing right you know what-hmm. You know what I'm talking about? The Hair Jordans, yeah.

They're like the Hair Jordans. Yeah, I like those. All right, final pick for me then. I'll fast forward to the future. I think the last Jordan ever worth its salt, worth its weight, was – oh, wow, I'm on a sneaker website right now looking at the pictures, and the dude from Barstool Idol who made it to, like, the finals, just like a pop-up video came up.

He was, like, the sneaker guy. So good for Kyle. He's doing well. He's over at, I don't know, fucking Hot New Hip Hop. Anyway, the last Jordan I think worthwhile. Some people will say 14 from his last games. I think it stops at 13 personally. I think that the, uh, the black cat 13s, the Flint 13s, there's a couple of cool colorways there. I never had them.

I think they're a little bit too clunky of like an high top, but, uh, I'll take those as like the last Jordan's everything after that Jordan 15. They just stopped trying. How did they like just get back? Well, I mean, I think Tinker was a. Everything after that. Jordan 15. How did they just stop trying? How did they just get back? Well, I mean, I think Tinker was a huge part of that. I know Tinker has still designed a lot of the 15 through 34, I think

we're on now. I don't know how many he had a hand in and how many he didn't, but I think it's like anything else. You had MJ playing in his prime and you had Tinker halffield making shoes in his prime right he had you know it's like when never when nick pizzolatto wrote wrote true detective and he had been working on that one season for like his whole life and then it was like all right make season two and season three and he's like well i'm out of gas tinker halffield

his whole life was probably like i'm gonna make shoes with elephant print i'm gonna do patent leather i'm gonna do this like triangle wing thing. And then when he did them, he was like, I don't have any fucking ideas. I'm done. Like, you don't think 24 of these things? I don't have any good ideas. They told me you have to be smart for 15 minutes in your life. It's been three years.

Right. Pretty much. So you can really make the argument that MJ on the court, Tinker Hatfield designing shoes are like the two best people to ever exist at their job ever. So, uh, let us know who won. If you're a sneaker head, you're into Jordans, whatever, uh, me versus fights. Uh, all right, let's get into our voicemails. Now they are brought to you by rad power bikes. You got to get yourself an electric bike right now. Not only will it be, uh,

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states. To get this free special, go to text sports to 64,000. That's S-P-O-R-T-S and get a $100 free gift when you get your e-bike from, when you get your rad bike from, when you get your e-bike from Rad Power. Next voicemail. Let's go. KFC Fights Super Producer BC. I got a question for you. So I recently went on a couple of dates with this girl. I thought we, you know, we kind of broke quarantine together or whatever.

I thought, you know, we were getting along great. After our last date, this is like a third date, I texted her saying, you know, had a great time. I would like to get together again. Let me know when you're free. And I got this brutal fucking response saying, hi, I had fun as well. I just think right now I need to focus on myself. Sorry, it took me a while to respond. So, you know, absolutely fucking brutal.

That one's long gone, no doubt about that. But it had me thinking, what is the worst breakup line you have ever personally received from somebody else or that you've heard of i gotta think that uh you know the i need to focus on myself right now has got to go up there as like a big bullshit breakup line but i don't know let me know what you guys think well here's the thing thing two things about the cliche lines number one am i alone in thinking i believe in it's not you it's me sometimes oh very much so yeah i think it can be used as a total cliche and i think ultimately a tinge of it means like listen if you were perfect i would just date you but you know like there has to be something about you that I personally don't like enough,

but I have, I mean, in the last couple of years for me, there have been many times where I've told people like, listen, my life is a fucking disaster right now. And as much as I've been like, we've been doing this, or I don't want to lead you on, like I can't go that much further because I got nothing to offer here. So I think it's not you it's me is a I think the problem is people use it's it's not you it's me when they're like 18

and it's like no it's not bro if you drop it it's not you it's me when you're 35 it's the fucking truth man so the problem is the rest of the people ruining it for us when it's like I mean I seriously mean it and I think that the whole i'm working on myself is a variation of that that sounds a little more disingenuous but it can be real dude by the i don't even know if i've ever told you this one this is but this is uh i've never really been i've been dumped once i think um there have been there have been just like mutual breakups and fucking all kinds of shit, but my dump... What happened?

It's one of the most embarrassing things I've ever been involved in. I got dumped. It was a complete surprise. I had no idea. It was like, hey, let's grab a drink. There wasn't a thought in my mind like, hey, I might be getting had no idea. It was like, hey, let's grab a drink. Not even like, there wasn't a thought

in my mind like, hey, I might be getting dumped right now. This was like, yeah, let's go get a drink. We're going to drink. We sit down, order two beers, and I got dumped before the beers even got there. It wasn't, there was

no, there was no like, warm up. It was just like hey we were like we were thinking about maybe moving in together she's like hey i don't think we should uh move in together and i was like okay and she's like oh boy he didn't get that all right honey we'll just wait another year she's like i'm gonna lay on a little thicker here, aren't I, John? So she goes, no, I mean, I think we should break up.

And I was like, okay. And as she's doing that, the beers are off. And she goes, you don't have to stay. It wasn't like shooing me. It was really being more polite, like, hey, if you don't want to keep sitting here. And I was trying to be like like cool like no no it's cool it's

fine we'll have a beer it's fine we're friends like whatever i'm not hurt i'm not gonna cry and then i as i'm taking a sip of the beer i'm processing in my mind going this is completely fucking ridiculous you can't just stay here after this you have to go you have to leave so i'm trying to chug the beer, but it's a big one. So it's spilling out of the side of my mouth, but I can't bring myself to put it back down without it being empty. So

it's just freezing cold beer spilling all over my shirt. Make it stop. Make the story stop. Make it stop. And I put it down and I don't acknowledge any of that that has happened

and I just go alright well I'll see you later and I get up and I grab my backpack soaked in beer and just see you later and bear in mind folks this is what uh maybe 18 hours after crying your eyes out at Miracle right

what if 24 hours you had crying in front of her naked and then you spilled beer all over yourself and then guess what it ends with we'll see you at work tomorrow that's the best breakup story And then guess what it ends with? Well, I'll see you at work tomorrow. That's the best breakup story.

Fuck off. That's unbelievable, man. I remember, like, the conversation in my head, like, so clearly. And all the drinking games I've ever played and all, like, the competition was like, oh, you got to get this beer down. Never had I been so, like, dude, you got to get this beer down. Never had I been so like, dude, you gotta finish. Put it down. And they're just like, I have to stare at each other while I just wait to take another sip. I have to just finish this beer and leave.

And it was, it was. Could you imagine like, so she went home and her girlfriends were like, Hey girl, how'd that go? She was probably like, well, I told him and he just dumped a beer on himself.

He just poured a beer down his chest and walked out. I don't know if you remember that show. Um, uh, I think you should leave with Tim Robinson, the Netflix show I like so much. Yeah. Yeah. The very opening skit is him like, uh, he, he's trying to open a door, but he opened it the wrong way after an interview. So it's a pull, but it's a push, but he's trying to pull it,

and he's just, like, committed to pulling it, and it's just, like, 40 seconds of him trying to pull this door open. That was me trying to finish that beer. It was, like, 40 seconds of just, like, beer spilling and me being like, I got to get out of here with this. Bro. That's so good i feel like i was a bad friend during that were you upset by that um no it was it was well i was a bye-bye god i remember you being like yeah that's over and i was like all right

you good you're like yeah i'm like okay but i didn't really i didn't really think further no there was there was that was that was one of the more amicable breakups uh i've ever had in my life i was just like yeah it probably wasn't working so okay it was just like we like didn't even talk we were just basically just like drinking buddies so yeah well i know how that goes man you gotta when you got a a relationship that's based on your social life it's a house of cards that's waiting to come down because guess what? That social life eventually stops and then you're fucked. Oh man.

That is, if you've got a funnier, more relatable breakup story that John Feidelberg lay it on us, I'd love to do like, we'll do like the breakup episode. If you want to email us or tweet us or DM like your breakup, it's gotta be good good though i don't want to hear like well i caught him cheating and i yelled at him like i need like you got it's got

a piece of shit like you jumped in here and i forgot this detail her phone was out tracking an uber i think someone else was i think she was trying to get me out of there before the uber got there with something no it's just No. Remember she would always have she was like she always got you rides. So I think she was getting someone else a ride there and I was just like I definitely know what that is.

I gotta get the hell out of here before someone comes in and this dude with like tears in his eyes. Hey, I am John, my ex-boyfriend. What's up? Oh my god. Again again anybody who was ever like why is fights the way he is like these are the fucking answers why okay these are the answers why

KFC fight Super Nintendo gotta leave this voicemail because I am shook as fuck. Uh, brought a girl home first night after quarantine broke out. Yes. Send me like I should be. But, uh, I kind of knew her from some old friends, whatnot, blah, blah, blah.

And, uh, she came back to my place, went up to the bathroom right away and, uh, was up there for not too long. Had the sink running the whole time and never really heard anything else. She comes back down, hangs out for a little bit, leaves, never hooks up. I go back up there there is like a pile of pube hair sitting on a toilet seat like she fucking shaved over at my place and was ready to

hook up but then didn't hook up so like is that the weirdest thing on fucking earth please tell me it is alright bye I earth please tell me it is all right bye i don't know what i think here i was about to say like i'd rather you just like you know we'll just hook up and you're just not shaved and whatever then

you leave your pubes all over but then i also remembered i really would prefer you shave first so i don't know what i said, but it's certainly, it's certainly weird to do that, not clean it up and then leave. But the, the, the trick, I guess it doesn't really apply here because like she didn't shower or anything like that, but it is dangerous. It's a dangerous game you play with like shaving and then like, cause sometimes like I'll just flush when I get out of the shower or whatever.

And you just kind of forget it's there. Yeah. If that was her last thing. Dude, chicks in the bathroom are so weird. They're a catastrophe. They're worse than guys. But they're so they're like Navy SEALs because it's always so silent and quick.

But then sometimes you walk and you're like, what the hell happened in here? If I'm going to leave some kind of me in a room i'm being there for like 45 minutes right you'll you'll be surprised like i'll walk in just like all right just like you know regular bathroom trip no one's been in here for a long time so should be what the heck happened i didn't even see you come in here and And you came in and gave birth to a baby cow. Where did this come from?

I love when they run the water. That cracks me up. Like, I get it. But it's also just like, wow, we know what's going on. You know? I had a friend, my roommate in Hoboken once. Good looking guy, always pulled chicks and was out at the bar. And I think what happened was he took home a girl who was just not usually

like his caliber. So I think she was like totally taken aback. So they come home. It was like a Sunday night and I didn't go out. So I was sober. I was at home getting ready for work. And they come stumbling back in drunk and he like comes into my room and I'm like, yeah, I'm like with my girlfriend at the time. He's like fucking hammered, like leaning over our bed. And he's like, yo, this fucking girl told me like, we're going to fuck, but she's just got a shave first. So she's in the shower. And I'm like,

okay, dude wakes up the next morning. She goes, whatever. He goes, gets ready for work. And he comes out of the shower being like, ah, I just shaved. And I was like with the same razor. And he was like, with the same razor of what? I was like, what? Last night. And he didn't even remember. He blacked it out. I was like, you had a stranger using your razor, shaving her pussy in the bathroom last night. And he was like, what? on my face like yeah i was like yeah oh that's the risk you run like i don't i what would you prefer some chick to like ruin your bathroom or like you hook up with a chick

just a monster bush you're a bush guy yeah i i am in theory i've never really seen it in a while to be you fucking fraud you follow me big boy i mean it's like you can't just go up and ask people definitely can't do that hey how much hair you got your pussy um but the uh uh i'm weird with my razor. I don't like people using my razor. That's not weird. That's normal. My dad, he gave himself a haircut in quarantine and he kept being like, can I get your beard trimmer?

And I was like, well, it's my beard trimmer. I ended up giving it to him, but at the same time, I'm protective of my facial feature. No, I think that makes total sense. If people are putting any razors or trimmers in any parts of their body, it should probably just stay there.

It's a crazy thing to do. Which actually, so I can shoehorn this point in here. I was watching Dead to Me the other day, and there was a line, and I've noticed this trend growing on social media, where it's, kill all men who say they have a crazy ex-girlfriend or whatever.

Like you, you, they, you, they treat you how you told them to treat you or whatever kind of deal. And it's one thing was like popular tweets. And then when it gets into mainstream media like that, or there's a scene in the show where a girl paints on the garage door, I know what you did or whatever. And it's like, the, the son is like, she's crazy mom.

And she's like, the mom's like, don't you say that? She's not crazy. You treated her poorly. And she acted the way she felt or something along those lines we're getting into dangerous territory with fucking comments like that she vandalized our house right like what is she if she fucking you know comes at you with a baseball bat are you just gonna be like wow she felt that way right right that's what I'm saying. And I have had, you know,

moments where I'm like, you know what? I change how I describe people. I'm like, you know, I definitely played a part in some things. I've accepted that. But also there are just sometimes where someone's just being crazy. Yeah, I think that I know better than anybody. Like, yeah, you contributed. It's partly your fault. Mostly your fault, whatever. But there is a certain level of behavior it's like it's like laws it's like you're allowed to like get in an argument but you're not allowed to hit people you're not allowed to kill people you can react you can yell you can scream you can cry when you get into like physical when you get into vandalism when you get into stalking when you get into work like all that shit it's like

no matter what this is just still like i like you and you like me let's be in love okay never mind it's not gonna work and you just go on about your life you don't fucking go nuclear over over relationships it was like a vandalizing i was like okay well she's crazy she painted i know what you did in red paint on a white door that's crazy thing to do that's's, that's not allowed. That's a, you can just grab that as crazy. No doubt.

For sure. Anybody who that I haven't not seen that movement. What I did see recently was a tweet that went viral of a girl saying, I just found out I'm pregnant. So I'm waiting to find out if it's a girl or an abortion because all men must die. So that's, that's funny girl or an abortion, because all men must die. So that's not out there. That's funny.

Yeah. Well, I think she was dead ass serious, but it got me to laugh. Okay. Yeah. That's, that's funny.

If you're being serious, it's a little too much. If you're joking, you are a fucking comic. That shit is good. Next up. KC, it's BC. IC, BC.

I had a question. Do you think in your entire life you've walked by an undercover secret surveillance van, like a flower van? Also, what kind of car do you think it was? And I'm saying this because

a few weeks ago I was out and about and i saw the garbage truck with a bunch of antennas on top of it looking very uh out of the ordinary i think being in new york i mean anytime the president has been in town you'll see secret service and motorcades and all that shit i I think him being specifically like a flower van, that's like, uh, you know, it's one thing if it's an unmarked car, it's another thing if it's like we're the delivery man and we're actually being, I don't know if I've ever seen that.

Like a stakeout. Yeah. Yeah. I would be surprised if I've walked by a stakeout. Right. Cause I don't even know where stakeouts happen right that's the kind of privilege i have i don't even know what part of town you go to to find a stakeout also don't you think most of the stakeouts now are like done by surveillance like drone like cameras on the street or something like i feel like it used to be like we got to get a guy out there to look at the house and what if he leaves when we're not there i don't know just stay there all night dude so like it feels like a pretty antiquated way of doing it but like like in the wire which i've watched season one of the when they got a call to like they're watching

a single phone right like okay this is one of our guys we can't listen to this phone conversation right now i would be surprised that happens anymore but or maybe that's what they want you to think though maybe there are stakeouts left and right all over the place and you don't really know it i i think though yeah if you see a like a garbage truck with antennas that's probably a pretty clear sign it's not just a fucking garbage truck you know i was almost gonna i just asked a question that i just already know the answer to i was gonna say do you think you ever stayed in a house where a porn was shot but then i remembered miami and oh but but prior to that i would have said no but the but the apartments that we stayed in miami confirmed reality king's

rental spot like just you know when people say like hotel rooms like covered in cum i always just kind of laughed about it but like never really like thought about it but like they are i mean they are. People are fucking and coming everywhere, right? They're disgusting. They're disgusting. Hopefully, they've just come everywhere. Hopefully, it's not a murder and not

poop. In the office. What's all these stains? He goes, well, it's either blood urine or semen all right last voicemail of the day it's brought to you by crossrope your boy john fights the number one crossroper in the world i think that might be the truth i'm about to go get it out right now dude i can do i'm like a legit crossrover now. Like I can do double unders.

I can do crisscross. I'm like a legit jump roper. Look at this guy. Like you're going to do some double dutch next? I don't know if I can do that because I don't trust people. But the – like I'm a legitimately good jump roper. What weight are you using? The regular one?

Using the heavy one? Oh, no, that's a great part. It's all. So it'll be like, it'll be like, okay, for the first five minutes, you use this weight, then you switch up weight, then you back down weight and you're up weight. You're doing pushups and stuff. And because I don't like doing things for like 20 minutes straight. So it's a lot of changing up.

Unbelievable. It takes, it's so quick. They're all like 17 to 22 minutes, give or take something like that. So quick. You burn. quick they're all like 17 to 22 minutes give or take something like that so quick you burn i was actually reading uh business insider video the other day like top five things to uh that burn calories the most and it was like five like combat fighting four uh aggressive bike riding and it got to two and i was like ah that's a's a shame. I figured jump rope was going to be on here. It was. It was one. Wow. You burn the most calories jumping rope?

Yeah. It's like you burn 1,200 calories an hour or something like that. Jumping is a motherfucker. You're putting your body through some shit every time you jump it off the ground, let alone... And these things, with the KFC radio promo code, it's like one month gym membership.

At least a New York gym. And once you have with, with the KFC radio promo code, it's like one month gym membership, at least a New York gym. And once you have it, you know, you have the, a couple bands, a couple ropes, a couple handles. And like, you can swap them in, swap them out. It's not like you need a home gym. You don't need any space. You just got to get either high ceilings or get outside and stand in place. I love this jump rope so much. It's obviously, it's great for right now with quarantine, but I will be,

I will be continuing jumping rope probably the rest of my life. It's so easy. It's obviously it's great for right now with quarantine, but I will be, I will be continuing jumping rope probably the rest of my life. It's so easy. It's like actually fun. And it's the number one calorie burner, which is, I mean, about as good of a, uh, endorsement as you can get. So get yourself some cross rope at cross rope.com slash KFC. You get $40 off the Crossrope set, plus free shipping when you check out today at Crossrope.com slash KFC. New cardio, full body, home workout, matter of minutes. It's just Crossrope.com slash KFC.

KFC, fightights, Super Producer would I be the asshole if I went to the shore for Memorial Day weekend instead of celebrating my girlfriend's graduation from grad school so a little context because of Corona

her graduation got pushed back a week and it was supposed to be this coming weekend. Instead, it's the following. I have a summer rental with all my buddies, and I guess it still remains to be seen whether we'll even be allowed at the beach or not. But because her graduation got pushed back, now it falls on a Tuesday after Memorial Day,

so her and her family are going up to her lake house to celebrate all weekend. Despite me having put money down on this house, looking forward to this weekend since last summer. So am I the asshole if I go to the beach instead of going with my girlfriend's family to celebrate her grad school her grad school graduation thanks guys for moving well my whole opinion just changed at the end there because I would think well listen first of all you can always do whatever you want if you you're not head over heels in love and you've got your own plans and you're willing to just be in the doghouse and take the brunt of it you can just say you can just do whatever you want.

But I was going to say, if you love this girl, you don't want to fight with her, you don't want any drama. I think skipping her graduation on a year where the bars aren't going to be open, the parties won't be the same, and you're really not getting the full shore experience. That's going to be a tough sell. But then by the end of the voicemail, you don't get to make a whole weekend out of your graduation and turn it into a weekend trip. Oh, I think you do. You do? I don't know. I never graduated, but I feel like if I graduated, I'd have grabbed a weekend. Yeah. I mean, saying that we're going to our lake house to celebrate my graduation, I think that's a bit much. I thought it was like, she's graduating on Saturday, I would be at the beach.

For him to be like, well, he said her graduation is on Tuesday. You could do your Memorial Day weekend and be there for graduation. I've got to be there Friday before your graduation now? Well, it's – I mean, look, here's the deal. The boil this question down, will you be the asshole if you don't go? Yes. Yes, for sure. And that is the ultimate answer.

It's just kind of a matter of how much you care, right? Yeah. I mean, I would just go. It's just easier to go, right? It's easier. It's so much easier for your life to just go biggest lines. It's always the biggest douchebags. And two, like I said, this year, is it going to be that good? Like, if there's ever a year to miss, it would be this one. So consider it an opportunity. And then when you do, you got to do it right.

You got to be like, babe, I'm going to go for you. And you got to, like, show her all the pictures from social media that all the fun the guys are having and then you get a couple in the bank you know what it's what life boils down to and i said boils down twice now um but it's just what's easier yeah because because what's easier is going to be what's more fun in the way where it's like if if this if you think you'd have more fun at Immortal Day, you wouldn't because you're going to have someone

who's mad at you the whole time. And it's just going to be an added stress and something where it's just going to take away from that fun, where you can just go do the easier thing and have fun there. And that easier thing is like a weekend at a lake. It's not like it's like, hey, meet me the fucking you know the the meet me in the bronx in in manhattan in the summer where it's not fun or anything it's like you're still gonna be on a

boat you're gonna be on a lake you're gonna be partying barbecuing maybe not with the exact people you want but you can still have fun with that i the path at least you can have fun you can have fun with people you didn't think you'd have fun with right you can't have fun with people you think you'd have fun with when there's someone else who's trying to actively make sure you're not having who you will allow like that person has some sort of power over you because you're in a relationship so it will ruin your time i'm i'm with that i don't the only thing i'll say is the path of least resistance you can't do that your whole life or you'll end up like me and a million other guys we're like

i would be like i could go out with the guys right now, but I'm going to hear about it. So I'm not, you know, it's not worth it. But I said, no, every fucking single time, I'm not going to travel. I'm not going to go out. I'm not going to go to dinner. I'm not going to go to that trip. And then it's like, well, you know, and then as I could go on, I could write a dissertation on this, but in some relationships, girls will often, you know, you give an inch, you take a mile or they don't recognize like, all right,

you didn't go out with the guys that night. Uh, you can go out next night. It's not usually like that. It's like now, now they expect that set of behavior from you. So sometimes I actually think it's better in the beginning to be like, I'm going to the shore. Graduation's a big one. Right. Right. This isn't like come to my family weekend. This is like come to my graduation. Although it is grad school, and grad school is kind of fake. Yeah, grad school, I missed the grad school part. Grad school is bullshit.

Grad school graduation is like you're like mid-20s maybe, even late 20s. You're working. Grad school graduation is like celebrating a 32nd birthday. Right. Yeah, you're working like. Yeah. A grad school graduation is like celebrating like a 32nd birthday. Right. Yeah. Yes, exactly that. So I'm kind of like, boy, you're really laying on thick for your, like your master's in like education or something. Oh good. Now you can be a fourth grade teacher.

Like you're probably going to have been in without that fucking degree anyway, lady. So I would ultimately say, unless you're just don't, you know, you're not really into it and you think this is not going to last and you think that you're going to have, you know, if this was supposed to be like the Memorial Day weekend and the summer of your life, but otherwise I think you should just go to graduation. Yeah. All right. Let's get into our interviews today. Uh, one of my favorite interviews and favorite people on the planet right now. A guy who has been very gracious to us, very cool with us,

and who is wildly talented, and I think going to be one day I think Ben Schwartz is going to be like Oscar winner type of dude. I think his acting career is going to really take off, and you're going to be like Ben Schwartz is that fucking dude.

Ben, Ben called us friends. And that was like the nicest thing that's ever happened to me. Ever. I was trying to impress. I was like, Ben, you think of friends?

Anybody that talented, that cool. And that nice probably should not be friends with us, but he tweeted us. We tweeted out a link talking about Middle Lich and Schwartz, and he tweeted back and said, I'll give you tickets to the show.

I have one free hour. Send me a Zoom link. Let's go right now. Do you think Ben thought we were going to do it? He was surprised we did it. I think he was surprised we did it as fast as we did it, because he was like, boy, you guys didn't fucking waste a minute. I was like, yeah, let's go.

You give me an opportunity like that, I'm not wasting that one. So a very impromptu, out of nowhere interview where we follow up with Ben Schwartz talking about the success of Middle Ditch and Schwartz, talking about quarantine. We went down. We did a lot. We went down memory lane. He was telling stories from his full fucking interview with Ben. It's brought to you by Screwball Whiskey. You're going to sit

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Whiskey with natural flavors and caramel color, 35% alcohol by volume. Benjamin! Benjamin! How we doing, babe? John, you're a goddamn mess. Look at you. What the hell is that? I'm in my brother's childhood.

You want to see a mess? Since quarantine started, we've been trying to zoom in all different places and it keeps fucking up so I'm trying to change up where I do it. Look at this goddamn room. Is my brother's childhood better than this? The whole wall is Fenway. Oh, I love this. By the way, I'm a Yankees fan. I think that's amazing.

That's incredible. Ben, your hair is a fucking... I mean, it's unbelievable. It's lopsided. It is 8.40 in the morning here, my man. Shit. My man, it is 8.40 in the morning, and I have work an hour, so I'm eating breakfast while doing this. Let's do it.

I love it. I don't do anything with this, but I've learned that if I don't put anything in it, it's so long, it can go in my mouth. And so I have, you got a great head of hair, dude. How are you guys doing through the pandemic and everything? Wait, is your name? John is a mess. Very clever. It's not accurate. I guess that's how it goes to the pandemic yeah i like it because it's like there's so many things i wondered what i'd look like if i just let it happen like this beard for

instance and like there's no reason not to give it a try like let's see what i look like with long hair let's see what i look like with fucking stringy facial hair let's let's experiment a little bit it looks good I think you're fine. I think you'll shave the beard in the end, but I think you'll keep your hair long. Then I assure you I will shave the beard. That's a promise. Yo, so last time we talked,

we were focusing on Sonic, but we mentioned Middle Ditch and Schwartz. Yes, and I'm happy we did. Sonic, by the way, massive hit as well. I know. You are on the hot streak, my friend. So much stuff has happened since the last time we talked. It's kind of crazy. And you got Space Force coming.

First, let it be known how this conversation started. Literally, Kevin had called me out that he wanted to – or yes, Kevin, for both of you guys, Kevin had called me out saying like, hey, in one of our previous things you said that a you talk after i watch the specials you talk to us about it and b you'd give us tickets so and then i said let's do it and within i mean five human being minutes not exaggerating i'm talking about five real it took all i had was time to get my cereal and get to my computer and we are fast we are fit and all i wrote is like a bit was like tick tock.

And then a second later, we don't, we don't lose those opportunities, man. If somebody like you says let's podcast, we fucking do it. Right. Let's let's, let's,

let's, let's call it what it was. Let's address how this happened. It was social media. Ask us. That's, that's really what got us here. If you ever think that just blatant pandering to people doesn't work, you are

wrong. If you are nice to people, they will respond. Just be kind to people. Just be mean to businesses. That's how Twitter works. That's how you get the results you want. I really don't even know how to do this without coming across as just like ridiculous

ass kissing, but the specials are so fucking funny like you're for a guy like me who like i never knew anything about improv so i never knew how you do it and how you could do it for an hour and i mean it's if you're new to it it's genuinely one of the most impressive things you'll ever see you You're the best. There's a review that you had done and you watched him or no. Oh, it'd be so funny if John's like, haven't,

haven't even seen it. These aren't great things though. John was so excited before we left about seeing him, but I remember there's a, you wrote this like a article. What would you call it? An article blog. Okay.

A blog post. And, uh, i didn't know that you were gonna watch whatever and it was so nice and so i copy and pasted a piece of it and was gonna write that and then say read the rest of the article and it ended with like whatever you think could blow it out your ass or something it was like such a i go our first review ever that says like like you know like blah blah and then any anytime i retweet something it always looks so narcissistic so if i like take a quote from it it looks even more egotistical so i got you i'm having such trouble like because i want everybody to the only way we get more is if people see them so i'm trying to retweet anybody that like loves it to like get

other people to do it um but i literally, the first version of that tweet just had like the first review ever that says like this thing will whatever blow it at your ass or whatever. I mean, I think that our audience probably wouldn't initially say that improv is for them. And I'm like, your review is great. Please don't let that stop you at least give it a shot because it's something you've never seen before. Probably your blog post talking about because I think that's the thing, the biggest thing we're fighting against is that people know what stand-up is

people know what sketches people have no idea people know whose line is it anyway is people have no idea when two people are coming on stage for an hour and just going to make up a show they they're they're a little bit like what the hell is this and so you explaining that uh to maybe an audience that has only seen stand-up and never seen anything is great it's huge that's what we're trying i watched it i had no idea even even going into it and having watched the trailer maybe an audience that has only seen stand up and never seen anything is great. It's huge. That's what we're trying to get. I watched it. I had no idea, even,

even going into it and having watched the trailer and, uh, obviously there are three specials and in the trailer, you talk to all three, I believe, or at least two of the stories you'll end up using. You talk to, um,

uh, the photographer from NYU or from 30 rock. And then the, um, you talk to the wedding people. I don't know if you talked to the law school student. But anyway, I thought you were going to be like regularly doing new stories. I didn't know what long form.

I barely knew what long form was. I had no idea what long form improv was. I was stunned. It's crazy. It's like 15 minutes long. It's nuts. It's insane. You guys are the best. i'm so happy we did

this and so did i hear correctly that you did four total yes the pair of sneakers that were not shown were the three black cements dude the sneaker game is on point i it's so funny because i know very little about fashion but i used to work at athlete's foot so i like sneakers a lot so my baby you know her say it did my babysitter. You know her? Say it again? My babysitter owned an Athlete's Foot. Which one? It's in Massachusetts in Fall River. Her name was Manuela. She was actually

cool. She was one of my very few good babysitters. Oh, my God. Do you remember all your babysitters? Oh, yeah. Oh, buddy. If you know John's babysitter history, they are memorable. Really? Oh, yeah. In not the best ways. Pretty sure John was molested by they are memorable. Really? Oh, yeah. In not the best ways. Pretty sure John was molested by a babysitter.

Oh, God, John, please. She had me watch porn. It wasn't like it. Is that true? Yeah. This is not for me to talk about. We'll cut this. We'll cut this.

This is a dark line. Anyway, back to the show. Because my question was. There are different versions of improv. So what you're saying, long-form improv, there are versions. There's a show called Ask Kat, which is great. And usually, like, the veterans, like the old-school, amazing improvisers, that's the show that me coming up when I was an intern at UCB,

that's one that I wished one day I could perform in. Like, Amy Poehler's in that. Matt Besser, Matt Walsh, you know, Rachel Dratch, Tina Fey, they all do that show. And in that show, they get exactly what you said. They get a story, and then we do like six scenes, and then they ask for another story from a monologist, and then they do six scenes, and we take a break. And then we get four stories over the course of 45 minutes or an hour. And that's kind of like what it is. So you're right, there is a version of that. But the version that we love is that telling one unique, one through line, one narrative.

We started doing that, which other people have done. But that's the one that we really like the most because I think for me, writing movies quite a bit and Thomas being really good at writing that, we can kind of hold up the story structure. For most of the shows, sometimes we call them bumpy landings where we're trying to call back things from the past. And it's just not, it's just like, Oh, what?

But sometimes it like, like Kim saying that he's a, there's an episode where he says he's a ghost just to fuck with me. And then, so what I do is an improvisers, I put that here and anything in improv is not a mistake. Whatever happens is supposed to happen to the show. And so I'm like anywhere I can think to put this ghost that connects it and

hopefully wait long enough for the audience forgot that moment. And so when he'd say it, think to put this ghost that connects it and hopefully wait long enough for the audience forgot that moment. And so when he'd say it, the audience is like, Oh, you know, those moments when, when the ghost comes out, when you guys remember that Nigel was there for like a half hour, that was amazing. I totally was sitting there like, what about see, that's the other thing. The other thing is the the story is being made up at the same time we're doing it the same time as the audience is understanding it right so we're all on the same page there's not anything that is you know what i mean we're all on the same page so uh exactly that happened but we were going through the things before that and said all the characters

and we didn't remember and the best part about that it's the it was amazing that thomas remembered it but it was even more amazing that that was the guy that explained how to get out of the whole situation. Like the person you forgot. Yeah, that was an incredible move by Thomas. It's one thing to remind everybody that was here that's a laugh, but it's a fun story plot thing that you don't know how to get out of this. Me, you should have talked to me.

I was here the whole time. Like that's, I love that. I got a text from another guy at bar school. He said he watched it after I wrote about it. And he said the main thing that he didn't think that you guys would, like, break the fourth wall and, like, acknowledge how silly it was. He thought it was kind of, like, highbrow, you know, comedy, the art, the craft. It wasn't just like, this is fucking ridiculous, right, guys? So once he knew it was like that he was totally on board one of my favorite parts is when you guys are remembering

marnie's name and you're like like no no like and you're like i think it's your your sister's actual name is marnie yes and she was in the audience like in real life my sister was in the audience and so i don't know if thomas remembered that or like we were in the scene so when i said oh that's my sister's name and then he was about to say what and i was like don't it would just take it like it explaining that would just veer us off way too we don't have no time this is being filmed so it's like keep it on strike there are other things also where thomas like if you look at the reaction of i don't know if you saw all three but the third or the second one there's uh an alien i play an alien and it's calling back that this woman said this city is known for having an alien in it

but thomas did not remember that part of the interview yes he told me when we were editing not not even after the show i mean we were editing because we have nine cameras on each scene so we had to figure out which cameras to put and like what plays the scene the best um and he goes like yeah man when you did that move i was like what the fuck are you doing and i was like what are you talking about she said alien she goes oh he goes oh my god really he goes i thought you were just doing it to fuck with me i go no i was calling back what she was saying you could see it because of the way he he pretended to open the door and he closed it and was like i really don't think we want to introduce this to the storyline that was all his reaction of being like what the fuck are

you doing is 100% real. Which we do that to each other in the shows all the time. But it was so funny to me that, I mean, like, it had to be a month afterwards. We're editing it. And he's like, yeah. I was like, why the hell did you do that? I was like, are you serious? He's like, oh, my God, that's amazing.

It was great. How often during the interview are you either like, oh, boy. I mean, obviously, it's every time but how often are you like hell yes this is going to be a monster versus oh this is going to be a tough one because like the first interview it's a great one there were a couple of times when it was like holy shit this is going to be amazing but particularly when um the seventh of seven uh bachelor member member of the groom's party starts talking again. And you're like, you're like, yeah, yeah. It's about time you take over again. So barely just barely.

And what you don't see is when you guys come to the show, so we're supposed to, you're right. I don't, I just watched the, the Twitter clip that you guys put up, which seems like you guys do it. You got your turnaround is so quick. Whoever the non-video participant is on this thread is very good at their job. Is that what it is? Okay.

But, oh, what you don't see is, and in our shows that we do for a really long time, is we talk to the audience for a while at the beginning just to get them loose, just to make sure they feel comfortable with us on stage and we explain what's going on. We also explain even in more detail what we're about to do. But when I was editing, when I was editing with Thomas, we were like,

if we keep all that, which is like 10 minutes, if we keep 10, 11 minutes of us just talk to the audience, people will click off before they see the improv and they'll never see what the show really is. We just took away all the part of us, fucking with the audience, making jokes at ourselves, making fun of ourselves, and explaining improv in depth every time and then just kept the part of get to the person that when we ask would it just get to that part and make it short and get the hell out of there uh because of that so what what you miss is a lot of us playing with the audience some you know getting happy and stuff like that and doing all that stuff but you just ask one do you are

you ever like no that, that's stupid. I'm not doing that. No. So sometimes we will. No, it's always, in improv, it's usually the first thing you hear is what you should do. That's just what it is. The idea is like you shouldn't say no to things. Everything is yes and.

But we've done so many shows that if we get like, you know, if we do a wedding one night, someone else has a wedding, our wedding shows will never be the same because it's all about the people. It's the characters that are in it. But what I i will do is if it like if that one wasn't going well i would ask about more characters in their life or let's say they're talking about like i have a job tomorrow that i'm really in my first new job and they don't really know anything about the job then you're like all right we're already talking this person what else who are your friends like you find things and then there are people so that's you kind of explore enough where you

find something that you're like all right but you're right there's sometimes where it's like sometimes we'll get a really boring thing like it's like you know i have a job you know i put vitamins into a bottle and you're like okay this may be or taxes we had one that was taxes someone deals someone was works for the irs and is deals with taxes but you learn about the people that are around them and then it doesn't even matter what they do it could could be whatever. And then sometimes you're right. It just sucks. And we're like, all right, well then we have to invent. And then you could feel us really working hard on stage. Well, that was my question. Like at the end of those, are you gassed? Oh yeah. And by the way, so sometimes now that we're a little bit more popular, sometimes we sell out and have to do

two shows in a night. So we'll do, and the shows for real are an hour and 20 minutes we had to cut it down because netflix said uh comedy plays better on our site if it's under an hour especially if it's something new like stand up if chapelle you should welcome to it every once because people know exactly what to expect with chapelle right but um for us like keep it under an hour which i thought was really smart too because then people want to watch the next one also the okay so wait uh you asked a great question what was the question just like if you're gassed when you're done doing it especially so in between shows uh and also we get to like when we're doing largo which is our like home court here in la we get there five minutes before show time we put on our little mics we go out we talk for two seconds like we

because there's no tech or warm-up we've done that you know but when we go to theaters we have to get there an hour and a half beforehand we have to tech because we have to make sure our mics work with them and explain to them what the show is. Because anytime we go to a place, in our rider, it says two chairs, and that's all it says. And they'll put two heavy, like, throne chairs with a table in between because they think we're a podcast. And they put a glass of water for us. And we're like, oh, no, we got to have, like, light chairs. So almost all the shows that we do on tour, we end up having to take one of the chairs from the audience just like any crappy chair we could find and put it on stage because all these heavy ones we can't like move around and do our scenes

with you run a lot a lot yeah and i run out of that i run out of the gate too yeah like because i always feel that broad energy and letterman used to do that when i was a page for letterman i used to watch letterman run across the stage before he came out. And I was like, oh, that's cool. But also for me, it's like that the audience is going so like, they're so excited when we come out now, which is crazy. That like, if I run out, I feel like I'm with that excitement with them. And I feel like the show just gets started immediately. You know what I mean?

It's hard enough to sit there and just like use your brain for an hour. I think people don't ever really think about that like we talk about with podcasts which again is an extremely easy job no it's a form of improv it's definitely a form of improv you guys are making shit outside of bullet points that you're going to talk about you're making shit up the whole time well at least at least we're sitting to do it running and carrying chairs and shit like the way you guys fuck with each other like you make him get up and down up and down like you're screwing each other over half the time it's so good oh that's what i was gonna say so if we do back-to-back

shows we'll do so our show is an hour and 20 minutes uh usually and we'll do a show and then if we sell out when we have time to do another one we don't have to get home early the next day um we'll do another one and so we'll have like an hour and a half in between and we are so tired and so like we will talk to each other a little bit we'll just be on our phones right we'll just be like you know what i mean it'll be like this and then after the second show i'm out like i'm i'm drenched with sweat i'm like so tired and oftentimes you guys know when people when you do shows or people want to say hello to you backstage and i'll just be like just be like hey hey hey yeah the back-to-backs are the ones that

get me when we do one show it's pretty good because we've been doing it for so long. But to do what would be two and a half hours of improv straight, it's a lot. And those NYU shows were, because we didn't have the money, we had not a lot of money for these. So we did two shows a night for two nights. So within 26 hours, we did five hours of improv. That's crazy and so you're you're confident every time you go out there that you would have like a netflix arable type show it was this is the this is not the most scared it was the most pressure it was by far the most pressure we've ever had because we've done

hundreds of shows together ranging from really great to pretty good um but like never any bombs anymore because we've been doing it for 20 years. But still, there's a range of, we'll come off stage sometimes and be like, we didn't like that show. We could have done better, but we'll get harder on ourselves. So now it's like, it doesn't matter how many good shows you've ever had.

You only have four shots. So we filmed four and we aired three. And Netflix is like, this is it. Whatever happens, happens. You just got to hope that three out of those four are airable. And you got to hope that the person like the first, the first show, which is the one we cut for a bunch of reasons. One is we're figuring out how to do the cameras.

The other one is we didn't quite learn how to get the boom mic to the audience member in time. So that first one doesn't have great audio of the person that we're interviewing. And also the first guy's interview, although maybe we will air it one day was about how he was he was he's like what are you dreading or looking forward to he's like my girlfriend is leaving her boyfriend right now literally right now to come live with me and her boyfriend uh has cancer and we're like what and like so it's like an uncomfortable thing

but the idea of improv is all right, this is what it is. Yeah. We've had stuff about death. We've had stuff about people being pregnant and being very scared about being mother. We've had like real, real stuff and they seem to always like work out because we won't, we won't ever dive into the, our show won't be about the, not to be fucked up. You know what I mean? So I remember that. And so that when that was happening, but our show isn't about that what I mean? Um, uh, so I remember that.

And so that when that was happening, but our show isn't about that, but I was like, man, if this is the first one that people see, and it's right off the bat, this guy is like, you're like, this is not the best dude. You know what I mean? Right. Um, but that's showing up really fun too. And Tom, there's a piece of Thomas. It's like, we should edit that one together too. But I mean, now that like, I mean, I think it's a success. What's the response been like in general? Critically, the response has been great.

Like better than, I mean, I got emotional. The first day that we got reviews and people talking about it, it was like emotional for me because imagine doing something for 20 years that nobody really sees outside of when you go on. First of all, I've been doing it for free for 18 years. And we just started touring. We just started doing this thing at Lar and like you know so each time i did it at ucb a hundred people would see it even if i did a hundred sold out shows it's like now

we're touring now we have thousands of people seeing it but it's the same thing once we leave it once we leave that theater you know nobody in the streets know who the hell what we just did right it's like it was such a big deal for now millions of people can see it but now the the uh so critically it's great but we don't get more specials unless a lot of people watch it so now we just wait to see if we get the green light i keep those going man just keep fucking shamelessly it feels so dirty space force is coming out on netflix too and i think that'll help space force and middle distance force being on Netflix too. And I think that'll help Space Force and Middlesex and Schwartz being on the same platform.

I think hopefully we'll have somehow. Yeah. Rhythm going. But that's our baby. Middlesex and Schwartz is our baby. It's like. It was 100% on Rotten Tomatoes, right? I know.

It's crazy. The response has been crazy. And also it's slowly gaining steam is what we heard. Like every day, more people watch it like more people than the last day have watched it because there's still that barrier like improv like i mean you guys are doing like a service to that craft or whatever because it's like you're already kind of signing up for something that's a little bit you know unique so it's gonna like you're kind of pioneers in that sense you explained explained it really well. And I will take the being shit on that oftentimes in people who watch standup,

when you talk about improv, it's like the butt of the joke or like, you'd be like, Oh God, we've got to go to an improv show. You know what I mean? Right. And I think you explained that correctly because outside of the people who do it, that's the sense of what improv is a little bit because they've only seen like class shows and there's never been like, there's been very few specials. I did one for Showtime.

Ask Cat did one or two. TJ and Dave, who are legendary Chicago improvisers, have a documentary. But there's so few, like, as opposed to standup, you can see 1 billion standup specials. You can also go to huge theaters and see standup when for long form improv, there's very few people who go to big theaters to do it.

So it's like, there's nowhere to point. So the only reference that people have is class shows or people have kind of been doing it you know what i mean and not like watching kevin hart do stand-up or watch chapelle do stand-up you know what i mean yep i mean that do you like improvers do you think of yourselves as like a higher actor like i i never again i'm kind of on that gate like that train where it was like oh yeah that's kind of like the little shop down the street does that improv thing but like when you're on set and are you like i can do this without a script it doesn't matter that's amazing no it's by no means if anything uh you like want to prove to people that you can memorize their words and say that

you're like no no i can you don't get on set just rip the script up like i'll handle it there is a big joy there is like a fun joy when they're like like for parks and rec they'd be like all right this is called a fun run i probably told you guys last time but so like and then you go off for like for house of lies the four of us together would kind of play with our words a little bit before we went out um or sometimes they'll like i'll be able to play and people come with and then like especially if you're improvising with like a really good actor who maybe hasn't improvised a ton, you learn that a big part of improvising is just listening and reacting

truthfully, which you're, if you're a good actor, you can, you can hang because that person knows their character. They know what the scene is about and you can play together. I think sometimes the thing that you really got to learn is when you're starting with nothing,

like how to start and invent everything. But these, the actors that we play with, learn is when you're starting with nothing, like how to start and invent everything. But these, the actors that we play with, like Cheeto was incredible. Um, even people like Blake Griffin did the snow pan show with us a bunch of time. He crushed JJ Abrams was amazing.

Son of a bitch. He like, he can do everything. It's really, it's truly, it's unfair. If he wasn't seven feet tall, I think he would be a professional.

I'm not even doing a bit. If he wasn't six, then he'd be a professional comedian or writer, but you'll see, you see like, uh, and the people who saw it, like, um, actors that would come to our show or see this, they would be so inspired by it and want to do it because it seems like a great form. It's just teamwork. And if you like acting, it's basically teamwork just, but you're making it all up.

It's fucking incredible, man. I can't believe how much John's beard has grown throughout this whole thing i don't think i didn't see the john loves babysitters why did you even change that dude it was so long ago so long ago i saw i like made like i noticed while you were talking i was like when i didn't even see his hands moving but eating cereal like it's it's amazing i felt rude that i was eating while talking to you guys i didn't want to be no it's actually that's been something that's happened in quarantine is like we just start doing interviews while we eat it's like yeah it's like there are no fucking rules anymore now are you able to get um or maybe it's just because i like you guys and we're we've become

friends via this press stuff but it's like are you able to get like people you never could get before because now there's like you're just home right now you can get like fucking you know i don't know why i'm saying john starks but like just because i was like you can get like athletes that you never could get before because literally they're home they can't run now yeah i don't think we're getting um i don't think we're getting any like higher level guests but it's been easier to like if you dm someone it's like hey can you talk about this because i know you have nothing else to do so you better have a good excuse so there's definitely been a few interviews like that but i feel like that's also a dangerous area to play in though because also like it's like texting a girl who you know has her phone and it's like hey you free

and they're like yeah that is true i know you're just ignoring and then that's fine you know you're allowed to do it. It just hurts the ego. Right now we're doing a, I've been doing a lot of press, which feels why, just because every, the world is melting.

But, um, and so I'll, a bunch of my days are packed and then I'm writing. So I'll go from one thing to the other. And then someone would be like, can you do that? Like they'll ask somebody if I can do something.

And I sincerely can't. And then I have to like tell them, no, but tell them like, it's not a bit like Monday and Tuesday, we're doing press from 9am to 5pm. I don't have a minute. I know it's early. I got one more thing for you because I saw your Instagram post.

We have till 945. Okay. We don't, please don't take it though. Please don't say I'm going to go to 944 then. At 10am I talked to second graders i i talked to a second grade class in philadelphia oh boy really yeah if you guys want to get involved it'd be real uncomfortable for your podcast i tried to get involved in uh in like a big brother program once and they just said no thanks i get that i get it yeah i got it too are you uh i saw your jordan last dance jokes, which are just fucking great because it sounds like MJ.

I mean, we're at the point where, did you see the clip of, uh, it was on JJ Reddick's podcast. They said that. I haven't heard JJ's podcast. Is it amazing?

Cause he's a smart dude. I met him once or twice and he was very kind and he seemed, he just loves basketball. Yeah. It's pretty cool to have like a active player player who was just out there talking that shit. I don't know if it's him. There's someone on the show saying that Jordan went up to Hannah Storm and another female reporter and told them they were pregnant before they had told anybody. MJ has this pregnancy sensor thing.

Is he correct? Yes. Well, at least so says the story. Because I don't know what to believe i mean all these things it's like it's like william wallace stories you know he said that they didn't it was just like so when you do and the girl was like what the fuck so i feel like i mean the the legend of mj i didn't think could grow anymore and it's grown like exponentially there's like uh you heard that shack story about um stevie wonder when he was in the elevator with

stevie like stuff like that i love that also shack funny as hell nice guy really kind dude yeah unless or at least to me he was at least the mj thing is that's something only michael jordan can do like you can't just go up to a woman and say when are you due if that's anyone but michael jordan that story is not told with a smile on your face what What were your teams growing up? Is there any part of the docu-series that you've connected with the most that you're like, oh. Like for me, watching the Knicks, watching them lose again was so hard. Like I remember I cried during the Rockets finals.

And then when I – also, by the way, I didn't – I mean, I didn't have money to get them. But I didn't have like Jordans ever because fuck that. I was a huge Knicks fan. He beat us every year. He was like our Thanos. We hated him. And then after you grow up and you realize that your allegiance as a child may be a little bit too much, like going to Oakley's car wash

just to give him more money just in case. Whatchamacallit. Then you know then i got my first pair of jordans it was like an incredible feeling and now i'm addicted to all of it stuff like that but which one of those episodes do you connect with the most nick's portion is terrible it's awful it's just watching like charles smith miss those fucking like four oh my god act and like oh it's brutal and then when they were finally gone john starks goes like oh for 17 it was tough it was not great uh but it's so weird that he transcends that it's like i i should be more mad but he at some point you just kind of like like give into the greatness you know the doc almost makes you root for him to beat the knicks like you know let

him have this it's so good he's got to do this again right i'm doing that right now with brady where i'm like oh boy the pats and the buccaneers play in the super bowl i don't know like it's really it's good i mean i i love brady like it was i wasn't even really a football fan before brady i was 11 i think so like i wasn't really anything before Brady. But we talked about that extensively. Who was the Patriots quarterback before Brady? Drew Bledsoe. Who was, like, he was on McDonald's Cubs. Are you kidding me?

He was legit. So, like, I watched Bledsoe. I liked Bledsoe. But I didn't love the Patriots until Brady. So we've talked about it extensively. Like, am I going to root for him to beat my team? I'm not going to. We're going gonna find out i

don't know it's a weird weird dynamic um all right we're gonna let you go because it's early in the morning already giving us enough time uh but please keep in touch we love the show we'd love to go to the show i'll get you i'll get you those tickets i just don't know the scary thing is i don't i don't know when uh yeah we we moved a bunch of dates but i mean we're not getting on stage until it's like 100 safe so i'm it could be i have no idea i don't know when, uh, yeah, we, we moved a bunch of dates, but I mean, we're not getting on stage until it's like 100% safe. So I'm, it could be, I have no idea. I don't know if you guys have estimates, but it could be next year. I don't know what it is.

I would, I would, I would guess 2021. Yeah. It's just not even worth throwing out estimates. It's just like, it'll be, it'll happen when it happens until it's safe. Everybody, uh, you know, Kevin, where are you? What city are you in? You're in New York. I'm in New York.

I'm in New York. Uh, I'm in Mount Vernon in the Westchester. Oh, come on. I know. Well, we played you? What city are you in? You're in New York? I'm in New York. What part of New York? I'm in Mount Vernon in the Westchester. Oh, come on. I know it well. We played you in basketball. Oh, yeah. Triggerdale, right? Where are you? At that time, I was in Edgemont. Okay. Okay. I played in Pelham, and Edgemont always beat the fucking shit out of us. By the way, oh, my goodness. We went to the county center, and we played Mount Vernon.

You guys had a basketball player. You're younger than me. I think I'm 38. How old are you? Like 35, 35. But you guys had a basketball player that was dominant. I mean like insanely dominant, right? Tell him no. And Mount Vernon, were you not there? Ben Gordon was in Mount Vernon. He was fucking awesome. Oh, there was some, we beat Mount Vernon when we shouldn't have beaten Mount Vernon.

I think it was. Dude, beating Mount Vernon is no joke. No, maybe we didn't. Maybe this is a different story. Mount Vernon is the one that killed us. Oh, maybe Mount Vernon is the team that we played in rec league where we got dunked on more than we ever been dunked on. Dude, we played Mount Vernon in a New Rochelle summer league. I kid you not.

We were in that league. Yes. And we were not, we should not have been in it. Was it BET? Which league was it? I don't know. It was at Lincoln Park. I know that. Oh, I think that was the one where the guy from Mount Vernon literally dunked on us

and had these one-handed dunks where when he would dunk, he pulled the rim a little bit each time. Dude, I got a ball thrown off my face and won style of that league. I mean, we were getting massacred. My story was very incorrect. Wait, Kevin. You had a ball thrown off your face once in an actual basketball game? And I just fucking hacked the dude. I looked this way for a pick.

I turned back, and he fucking threw it at me, and I just hacked him across his arms. It was brutal. Before I leave, do you remember the first time? Well, I realized that I was never going to dunk a ball. The closest I got, I dunked a softball once. But when I realized I never could dunk a ball and then i realized that if i alley uped it to someone who could dunk it felt like i was dunking that's one of the best feelings as a

kid ever when you're like this is as close i'm gonna get and like you feel it if you put it in the perfect place like that was me yeah it's the best feeling in the universe all right we'll stay safe guys thanks for having and thank you for saying those kind words, both of you guys, about the special. It means a lot. I think we only get to do more if a ton of people watch it. So even that little thing will help a ton. We're going to do our best to watch. Everyone watch Space Force.

Everyone watch this. Everyone watch Bill and George. Everyone, what's the movie with Billy Crystal? I'm sorry. Standing Up, Falling Down. Yeah, that was a fun one, too. You got everything. Have you guys seen Space Force or no? No. No, we actually just talked to Jimmy O. Yang yesterday though.

Oh, he's the best and he loves sports too. Yeah, he's awesome. He's a good dude, man. I like Jimmy a lot. And he has a stand-up special too. I haven't seen it yet, but I saw the trailer and it's hilarious. That's what he was promoting. It's very, very good.

It's called Good Deal on Amazon Prime. So check out that after Middle Ditch and Sports. All right. Have a good one to Schwartz. Happy to catch up. John, we cannot fuck this up with Ben Schwartz. We have to become permanently friends with him. We have to go to his shows. We have to support his

career, and we got to get in. I want to be part of Ben Schwartz's posse, part of his crew. When it's like Jordan and everybody shows up, it's like Ben Schwartz's posse. Part of his crew. When it's like Jordan and everybody shows up, it's like Ben Schwartz and us. I think it's the reason I made sure to bring it up in that video

that caught Ben's eye. You said. We'll be there every goddamn fucking night, Ben. Every fucking time. They're going to be like, the Barstool guys are back. You're goddamn right we are, Ben! Shit. I mean, really.

Sonic made hundreds of millions. Space Force is going to be huge. Middle-inch and Schwartz is being critically reviewed as the most impressive comedy thing ever. And that was in a month for that dude. One month past. He texted me right afterwards. He's like, wait, did you really just do that interview with Schwartz?

I'm like, yeah. He's like, I honestly think he's like the next Robin Williams kind of deal. And I agree. I would like to be along for the ride. For sure. Ben, don't forget about us. And also, let's now talk

to our boy, Corey G. We had him back. We got an update on John's health, my health. We learned a little bit more about Corey and his workout program, his torn rotator cuff, his days with Arnold's, his, you know, part of the reason why we did the top five Jordans, Corey hopped on Periscope the other day and was like, when I was a kid, I wanted the D Brown Reebok pumps. I watched him win the dunk contest. I wanted it. We were living in a trailer.

My parents and grandparents were minors. We didn't have the money. He found them later at a, uh, did he tell us on the podcast or only on the Periscope? I don't know. I don't think so. So he found them later at a yard sale from his buddy. So he just bought his buddy's secondhand shoes because he was like, I just fucking want that pair. Fast forward, I don't know, probably 30 years later, and he's going to the Reebok headquarters to ink a deal as an endorsed athlete wearing that same pair of shoes. And he was like, Reebok didn't send me anything. I never asked for any freebies. I bought it because I believe in it I still have them and now they

pay me like 40 grand a month to like do this that and the other thing it's like that to me man is like you could like sneakers and really appreciate it but if you appreciate being entrepreneurial or just having a story come full circle it's fucking fucking awesome. Same thing he was saying. I used to idolize Arnold Schwarzenegger, and now I do Christmases with him. The dude has just absolutely dominated his field and his industry. So let's talk to him. Corey G., Corey Gregory, it's brought to you by SimpliSafe. Right now, safety is paramount. It means everything, keeping your house secure, your loved ones and your belongings secure when you're constantly

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and you'll get free shipping and a 60-day risk-free trial. You can try out the security for two months. If you don't like it or you have a problem, you get your money back. That's simplysafe.com slash KFC radio from simply safe. And all of us here at KFC radio, wishing you safety and good health. Corey G let's talk to him. What's up,

bud? Fights. What's good, man? I'm doing good. You looking like Amish, bro. What's up,

Kevin? I used to live by a dude named Ezekiel yo with those backyard workouts you're posting that makes sense you got a lot of land back there I live on five yeah so it's you know it ain't that New York price out in Ohio bro you cut that yourself hell no somebody just asked me this yesterday actually my mom came to my house for the first time she goes I know you hated cutting grass as a kid you about to cut that yourself? Hell no. Somebody just asked me this yesterday, actually. My mom came to my house for the first time. She goes, I know you hated cutting grass as a kid. You about to cut that? I said, Ma, I'd lose money if I cut this. Like, it's a numbers game for me.

I'll pay somebody to cut that. That's good. My parents are moving and they're getting a big yard. My dad was like, absolutely not. Dude, there's no way I would waste three hours twice a week. No way. I did. not my kind of dude there's no way i would waste three hours twice a week no way i did i did landscaping for uh one summer and uh in marty's vineyard where it's like oh that's dope big nice houses and it was fucking hell it's nice like to get to see the view yeah but just like edging the

grass all along that's brutal yeah dude i wouldn't want to be a landscaper for no way. I delivered mulch with my kid. We did a baseball thing where they raise money for their uniforms. We delivered like 80 pound bags of mulch for like eight hours one day. Man, I forgot. It'd been a while since I've been a coal miner, bro. I've been needing that easy life. I delivered mulch and me and my son, he was beat. I said, dude, this is how, like you ain't trying to do this the rest of your life, bro. Move in mulch for literally, what happened to shaking cans outside a convenience store? Bro, I'm telling you, it was, it was cool. Great experience. And they were frozen. It was snowing.

I'm like, what am I doing right now? Seriously, man. That's the whole point of doing what you do for a living is to not touch it. But you know what was cool though? That was the first time other than us doing a little stuff around the house that I could be like, yo, this is what it really feels like. Now, I did work like this, but I was underground at the same time. It was a good experience for him though. And yeah, man, it was legit. Kevin, what are you doing? How old are your kids? My oldest is 15. He's a freshman. How, you know, once you make it big and make some cash and run some businesses and whatnot, how do you not, like, how are you raising your kids so they're not spoiled?

Yeah. So that's real difficult, you know, because it's so different than the way I grew up, right? Single parent household, like, you know, I grew up in a trailer, like we never had any money. So you're always aspiring to want more. And when you have more, which is weird because I wanted more for myself and my family, but then it's like, but you have the perspective and they don't. And you also can't blame them for not having the perspective because they never lived it. So

exactly. So that is, so the way that I try to do is my best. I'm leading by example, still with a work ethic of what it took to get here. They know dad's up at three in the morning. They know I'm out here grinding in a different way than I, I don't even like to use that word, but out here working hard in a different way than, you know, my family did. But I also got to experience that too. So I have those stories, but I think it's, it's by action. And I think the biggest thing I want them to know is not only that, that they will now have

better resources to be able to really go do what they love to do because they see me do it all the time, but they see how hard it is. But when my kid goes like, Oh no, I want to wear my other Jordan ones. I'm like, you motherfucker. I'm like, I want your life. What are your age motherfucker? Like, Come on. Between wanting the best for them, but also not spoiling. But yeah, it's real tough, man. And I think, um, especially with the opportunity of the internet and all these different things going on, it's just, we live in a different time. I had a job on the, on the farm.

I'm rubbing skull and I'm fucking 12 or 13 and then worked in a sawmill and then worked as a minor and had all of this where, you know, dad works on the internet. I mean, and has a gym and it's been successful and I drop them off, you know, to school and nice cars. Like he don't, he don't understand, but I try to, I get twisted up, man. Motherfuckers, they don't respect, like we're running hills and I'm yelling. I don't know if I'm proud of it, but I really, like'm not soft on my kids like i'm after them if they need it you know i'm i'm the neighbor of where they're like that dude crazy and i'm like yo this is dad time like ma go back in the house like you know so it's it's tough though i'm right every time when you're doing the like you're doing

the moving mulch where you're just like look i'll just i i i'm guessing the answer to this is no but me i'd like i'll just give you the fucking money. I don't know how much money we need to raise, but I don't want to move any more mulch. I think that I did that too, and I still had to move the mulch. But I'll tell you what I did do though, you'll like this, is I would pick the pace up though, because I got the work in me. I did this stuff before. It's been a while, right? My lower back's strong from all the lifting.

So I'm the guy pulling the 80-pound bags of mulch off the pallet. So I'm trying to break motherfuckers during the process, bro. I'm the guy like giving it to my kid as fast as I can. Like, yeah, motherfucker, this is how it's supposed to be. Like, so I'm that dad. That's a dickhead that's in shape. That's fucking good. And I kept it up all day, dude. I didn't want to let up on the gas. In my mind, you were officially the MJ of bodybuilding after that last video. That stogie in your mouth, 225, no problem with a torn rotator cuff. I mean, I've been watching the last dance. That shot of Jordan when he was sitting in his locker, puffing a stogie, just gently swinging the bat,

talking about like how he's engaged by that loss. That was, I think the best footage of the whole series, uh, whole, whole documentary. And I saw you puffing away doing that. I was like this motherfucker, Corey. Cause I knew I'd send it to Patrick Schwarzenegger and he'd send it to his dad. Cause you know, his dad had such a huge impact on me working with them and being able to learn from him. And that's how I really got onto cigars. When I go to Arnold's house for Christmas, he has his hand roller there and same guy that makes cigars for Stallone. And they'd all be all these big ballers.

I didn't know any of this. Like James Cameron, they're puffing cigars. I'm like, man, I need to start puffing me some cigars. And so it's one of those things where I really just... I drink on the weekends, which I think you guys are aware of now. I try to live a balance as crazy as I am, but I really do enjoy cigars. It's, you know, it's a, it's a something that I, and it, it's like some boss shit, bro. And you see like people that operate like Arnold and you're just like, he's, he's on the campus at Facebook. It says no smoking. He's fucking smoking. He's, he's a, you know, like he just

don't give a fuck, bro. And I love that. You just so casually said you did Christmases at Arnold Schwarzenegger's house. I didn't know. I didn't know it was like that, Corey. Jesus Christ. It's kind of like that, which is awesome. I mean, well, so this, this year was amazing, right? So I went out a day early. Usually he, the thing is most people live in town that go to his house for Christmas. I'm one of the only people that really travel in me and a couple other people from Ohio. And so like I go in and I go in a day early and I'm like, yo, can I catch a workout with you guys? I'm in a day early. Normally I got family stuff going on. I can't get there. So here I am,

you know, and this never gets old. I've done this multiple times. When you're going set for set with Arnold Schwarzenegger, like you're on like, you know, he's older now he's in his seventies. So we're not lifting crazy heavy, but we're doing a machine or something. And he's like waiting for his set. And then like you're waiting for your, like, dude, it's like, wow. It's like coming. And so, yeah, exactly.

And so I'm doing this, I'm doing this super set in the mirror and I'm looking all veined out and crazy. And my dude I'm lifting with, he goes, well, I do this set like really intense, like Arnold's watching, probably because he's watching. And I was like, fucking mind blown, you know, for a bodybuilder, that's like everything, dude. Come on. It's pretty cool. It's been, um, I don't know, two weeks, three weeks, a month. I don't know since how, since we last talked. And I think, uh, I think things have gone just about as you'd expect. John has really ran with it.

I have not quite done so just yet. But Feist is on a roll, man. He's jumping rope. He's hitting the gym. He's looking good minus the Amishness. You love that, didn't you? I want to speak up for myself here.

The Amishness doesn't play on video. It plays better in person. Yeah. I feel that, bro. You're in the wrong world for that, homie. My mommy tells me I look good every day. So good, bro. Yeah, you definitely with one of them hats, bro, and like a blue shirt, you would be.

I got one of the hats. Don't you worry. So I'll give you guys my internet perspective since last time I've been here. You guys ready? So Fights is texting me. He's training three times a day. I think this motherfucker is about to just start going shirtless on the podcast. That's what he's acting like,

right? So that's my perception. And Kevin, I know you want to. It took you a little while to get the bands. You're getting your stuff together. And when we talk, though, the questions you were asking me weren't bullshit. They were around injuries. They were about real lifestyle type stuff. So here's the thing with me.

Once again, I'm going to preach consistency. We keep talking. We just keep moving in the right direction. And eventually, everyone will get where they need to be. And that's what I'm trying to represent here is like, we're all going through a bunch of dumb shit right now, right? In different circumstances. But if that, that part's present in your life, I think it makes it better.

And I think you're getting there, bro. You have done what nobody has ever been able to do. And I know that I'm lucky because, you know, you're, you're very successful and I wouldn't have access to you if I didn't do this. So I know not everybody can do this, but, and, and they just, you know, you sign up with like a, a New York sports club, personal trainer. And my whole point is that you have mastered the staying on top of me without bothering me. Cause I don't need someone yelling in my face.

I don't need someone talking shit, but you would just text me and be like, Hey, just want to, you know, like did you do anything today? And a couple of days I did. And many days I didn't, but just like, uh like having some accountability while not feeling like you're barking at me for at least for me. And I'm sure there's plenty of people like me. That's huge, man. That's more important than anything that you can provide me. Well, cause my thing is like, look, I'm a really busy dude too. Right. I've had businesses that have done well and been in positions where people did those things to me that I didn't appreciate, right? There's just that right amount of,

I care about these guys. I'm creating a relationship with them. I know I can value, but they're not going to want to hear from me every day because I'm nuts, right? I already know that about myself. So I got to take it down to where it's a value of having a relationship long-term, which I believe can enrich people's lives. That's what my passion is, man. That's what I'm here to do. Honestly, I found it at a young age and I've been able to do it for a long time. And that's, I can do it at the masses level. And, you know, look, you guys have benefit. Like there's a lot of people that got motivated by hearing me here and I'm, I'm really appreciative of it. The nice thing with us is that the bar is on the floor. Like Kevin is like, well, I'm talking about it, so we're winning.

Yes. There we go. Here's the levels. Here's my levels. I talk about it. I have to buy things. I have to buy like clothes and sneakers. Then maybe I'll do it.

So I got my levels to go and I'm getting through them. I'm like, I'm not negative, you know, I'm fine with it. I've gotten to the point where, so my, my brother, uh, he was listening to the last episode we did and he like got up right away. I gotta go work out. So I've done like,

I started the jump rope and then I just started doing regular workouts. I didn't think I was ready for yours. And now I'm on week two of like the dumbbell shred. And the app is like my favorite. I get in bed. I like night and then i watch the workout i'll have to do for tomorrow like okay it's like late i'm like okay all right so this is what we're gonna do tomorrow today we got like dumbbell rows with a double twist

i know what's coming today and i'm like all right i'm excited to do that let's go we're gonna get in shape today that keeping the excitement's everything because here's the difference like a lot of people have friends that work out, right? Or they think their friend knows they can tell them what to do, but motherfuckers get bored, dude. And this is not my hobby. This is my job. So my whole key is, how can I creatively keep people engaged, get the results, and then continue to build the confidence in themselves? So that's what I think about all day is that strategy and what can I write this article to keep people motivated? What kind of content can I do? Like, it's just like you guys do for the sports, for the sports crew and lifestyle. I'm doing that just exercise specific. You know what I'm saying? It's, it's, I love it. It's unbelievable.

You're so you're honestly, you're so good. Cause I fucking hate, I don't hate working out. I've always enjoyed working out. I've always said that, like, I like working out. It's just getting there would start for me, but I hate doing the the same thing i'll never go on a run because i fucking i don't want to go run for 20 minutes i'll never go on a bike ride so i don't want to go bike ride for an hour it's just stupid but you're so good at fucking between i do cross rope which is a kfc radio sponsor which gives you like uh do like, it's like 30 seconds, jump rope, 40 seconds, mountain climber, 30 seconds. And then between I do that in the morning and then your shit at night. And I'm like, this is exactly like the core energy workouts are exactly what I

need to have. Thanks man. That means a lot, man. Like, uh, I just, uh, I just know, especially right now, a lot of people looking at that, if they have two dumbbells, we talked about that. Some people only got one, but if they got two, they're they're like all right i know what to do with that the first week dude we've been locked down for like two months straight right like that's you need to be creative like you're not gonna do it you know it's been two months and it sounds like it might be several more so like we're getting to the point in quarantine where you're running out of excuses

you're running out of timeline like oh I'll do it when we go back. There's no end in sight, so you better just fucking start now. Absolutely. What I think you do so well, too, with the dumbbell shred, at least the dumbbell shred is the one I've been following. I'm actually lucky. We have a pretty solid gym here. We have a squat rack bench and stuff like that, but the bench doesn't do inclines.

So while I've been working out before I got on the cory g thing i hadn't done any incline stuff and you like teach someone like how to make an incline with like a couch cushion or some shit like that you can make the other stuff that you just thought was impossible you know i saw dudes benching on a microwave no lie some dude tagged me he's benching on a fucking microwave i was like my dude like this is this is what i'm talking about you You're going to get the games is coming. Even I pulled the damn microwave down, throw a towel on it. Like, I love that shit. I saw a guy in the park. He was just lifting a fucking tree branch. It's like, first of all, that can't be very heavy, but it was like, but he's trying doing more than me. So I'm not talking shit. Uh, I was interested that you said you, uh,

in that video that you tweeted at us. And I love how you just fucking kill shot to that guy who was talking shit to you he's like is that supposed to be impressive he's like uh only because i tore my rotator cuff didn't decide to have surgery rehabbed it myself got all the way back to 300 bench and i'm just 225 like it's no problem other than that i'm not gonna stoke you but i'm interested because i i mean my shoulder's a wreck and I'm sure other people have dealt with it. You, how badly did you injure it? And, um, like electing to not have surgery. Is that something you would recommend? Cause mine was ruined and like had to have surgery. But I feel like looking back, uh, if I didn't have to,

I probably shouldn't have. So here's, what's interesting, right? So I ruptured my super spinatus, which means it ripped off, which is not, what is that? So that's one of your rotator cuffs. So you have four and it's one of the ones and it basically, so I thought I had a, so I had a partial for about 10 years. So a long time ago, I was doing a powerlifting meet in 2010, roughly. And I had the powerlifting suit on, whatever. I squat 700 pounds. In the left, it was on my left arm. The bar slid down my back a little bit with all that weight. And I think I partially tore it then. And here, the way I look at it, when I compete, I'm there to hang it out. So if some shit happens, I'm cool with that over I am on a Tuesday on the gym, just because I'm being a fucking idiot. You know what

I'm saying? Like I'm competitive. So I'm like, fuck it. I'm there to go to the hospital if I got to. But this was actually just, I thought I was getting ready to be done and the rack wasn't there and it slid down anyway. So I had a partial tear for like 10 years, but I think I got around it because I can do 35 pull-ups. I can do all these things. We're strong around it. Right. And then I was just, you know, I'm always testing things like to John's example, like to try to create new things. And I was trying just 185 on incline, but I was using this bar that had these crazy grips. So it was like super wide. I had no business doing it with understanding my injury. I was like, I'll get a bigger pump. If I do this, you know, some real meathead shit. And I do three reps and boom, it just goes. And it wasn't anything dramatic, but I knew something was

serious. My dude took the bar and I couldn't drive my car home. I couldn't do a pushup on my knees. See, that's where when I snapped back at that dude. So, and here's the craziest part about that. Lifting is my life. I mean, there's no question. I'm a fucking obsessed maniac, but I get to the point where I go see the surgeon and he's like, man, there's no question. I'm a fucking obsessed maniac. But I get to the point where I go see the surgeon and he's like, man, you're testing stronger than somebody that's ruptured it, but let's get the MRI. So it comes back. He's like, bro, he shows it to me. There's a gap like this and it looks white hot. He's like, it's gone, bro. And I'm like, well, fuck, what's that mean? He goes, well, here's the crazy thing. There's not really a handbook for guys like

you. So could you get away with this if you don't get surgery? I I really can't tell you said but you might never like it's like a 10 12 month down Like serious and he said here's the one that fucked me up though. I can only fix it for 12 weeks After 12 weeks, I can't fix it ever You're done like the decision. So that's what was weird. Cause not only is my hobby, it's my profession is that the fact that I had to make a decision that will my shoulder fall apart when I'm 70 and I can't golf. You know what I mean? Like that was like heavy bro. Right. Livelihood hobby. I haven't missed more than a week's workout since I was 17.

Right. I mean, like I couldn't even like understand 10 months. I'm like, you're talking what? Like I was like tripping. So that was probably one of the, so a couple of things, best thing that ever happened to me because my gratitude and appreciation, dude, I've competed and done crazy things with my body. I weighed 240, I weighed 165, power lift. And that was the first real major injury I ever had 20 years. So, you know, like, so I had like a lot of gratitude for it, but I thought it was going to be taken away from me. And I really went out and saw all the smart people I knew and I believed in myself. And I'm like, you know what? I think I can fucking rehab this motherfucker on my own.

So here's what I did. Signed up for a bodybuilding show. That's what I did the next week. And so- Just the total fucking opposite. I said fuck the world i'm doing this I signed up for a bodybuilding show and I got so fucking shredded that I won Now I won I did the physique I do the drug free drug tested shows because i'm not you know, and I have weight classes and everything

But I I did bodybuilding. I did the physique category I win my pro card which by the way way, was one of my goals. And I never reached before I win my pro card and natural physique. And yeah, it was a little bit like kind of flat on my, I couldn't really do arms or shoulders the whole time, barely any chest. So I just had to go light, like 10 pounds, eight pounds, like high reps and just got fucking shredded. And then it just continued that process. And so, yeah. What do you think would have happened to you had you taken the surgery? Had you gone 10 months? You think you'd become a couch guy? So here's two things. One, it was my left arm. If it was my right arm and I could never throw with my kids, I would have got it done. To not

be able to tell my nine-year-old, I can't throw the baseball with them or football because that's the motion. You literally can't do it. Like I couldn't throw, my left arm, it would kill me to throw something. So I was lucky that it wasn't that. So from a life standpoint, I would have had no choice. Like there's no way I could have not partaked in those actions as a dad, right? That's like some real talk. Here's what would happen. I'd have been just now starting to lift again. And we would have been going through all of this. So not only from a businessman standpoint, but from like a mental standpoint, one, that would have been extremely challenging for me. I just know it because this is my life. And two, how could my business not suffered when I can't

fucking train? I'm my best billboard. Like I'm a motivational motherfucker, but at the end of the day, like I lead by example, that's what my brand is. It always has been that way. But also, I mean, I think that ended up being, I think if you're going to motivate, injury is a part of this. And so now you have that relatability where it's like, you know, if someone says to you, you know, you've never tore anything. You don't know, you don't know anything about that. It's like, no, yes I did. And And I went the unconventional route. Sign up for a bodybuilding show. Yeah, right. So you're basically telling me that doctor and everyone you spoke to was like, you're a freak. You don't need to get surgery. Everyone else would need to get surgery,

but you're in such a shape, you can go with plan B. He said, I think it's because I understand. And look, I'm not all the way out the woods yet, but I'm, I was benching 320 at 181, which is nothing crazy, but that's what I did. And I've just missed 300 the other day. Like I made 275. I just missed 300. That's what my mom or not my mom with my wife and my kids spotting me. Like, it's not, you know, I'm taking it off. I'm out back. I'm smoking a stogie. Like, you know,ogie. But I think that I was really optimistic because I understand how the body works from a standpoint and not from some kinesiology. I'm not some academic cat, but I understand where the bar needs to be, what needs to be.

I knew that I needed a three to one ratio. I went and talked to this guy named Matt Winning, super smart guy. He's a world record old power lifter. And it really has a bunch of like, you know, credentials too. And he was like, look, the ratio is different from now on. You got to do a pull up a row and something rear delts before you're even able to press. So it's never, I can just go bench press anymore. I have to do things that supported at such a level that then I can be safe and actually try to do heavyweights. And you got so many, like, hang yourself out the dry reps in your life. And I just don't have a lot of those left in bench press, I guess. I might on squat or deadlift, but, you know, the ones that you're willing to go to the hospital.

And I just have to be a little bit more strategic as a master's lifter. Now that I'm in my forties. We were talking to Pat Oswalt the other day, and he was explaining, I think he had read Andre Agassi's autobiography. And Agassi was talking about, like, live in a match, being like, okay, I forget who he was playing. He's like, I can beat this guy, but I know I don't have any, many of these, like, shots left.

And he's like, to beat him, I will have to end my career. And Agassi did it. And he's like, I know to make this to end my career and obviously he did it and he's like I know to make this shot I'm going to tear this back here and then they were both sitting in the hot ice tub after the match and obviously he's like that's it I'm done that's got to be like a

harrowing feeling but like such a satisfying feeling right like I did it forever I did it until my last fucking breath I won on my last match and my work here right? Like I did it forever. I did it until my last fucking breath. I won on my last match and my work here is done. Like I did everything I could. I feel like that's got to be the ultimate accomplishment. You know, you know, it's so eerie about my final power lifting meet. We'll say before I tore this, which I'll do more, but my final, like one healthy was at my actual high school, 20 years after I've graduated, raising money for the

weight room and my grandparents and my grandfather, who's 93, who taught me how to lift weights, was there watching it. And to be honest with you, I will compete again because I'll get strong enough to be able to do it again. But if I never did, I'm okay. I'm deadlifting 545, weighing 180. My grandma's cheering for me at my high school, which by the way, when I said it was going to be a fucking lifter guy, people were like, are you fucking kidding me? 1997? Like no one does that. You know? So to me it was like kind of bittersweet anyhow. I think that's why I was at peace with it. Like, here's one thing about me. And I always urge people, like my vibe is dude, I'm giving everything I got. It's might not be

Mr. Olympia or world record, but I'm getting everything out of this body that's possible. And I had one small injury in my hip a long time ago, and I got through that. But this one was serious. And I'm proud of where I got back. That's when that motherfucker hit me up on Twitter. I don't usually respond to clowns, but I'm like, man, fuck you, bro. I'm excited because 225 looked like a hundred pounds or like 20 pounds.

And I got one less shoulder muscle. Right. Fuck that dude. You were, you were talking about, uh, obviously you talked about your kids earlier and you were just talking about how people kind of like, I don't know if the last of the right word, but kind of dismissed you in high school was like, you're going to make money weightlifting kind of deal. Would you like, like a weightlifter and a coal miner that kind of has the connotation of someone who's like, you got to do it the old school way. Say your kids came back and you're like, I have this new thing I'm going to try. Would you support that?

Would you be like, no, you got to grind. You got to do this. I got that going on right now. So my kid, uh, AG, my oldest, he's like a Fortnite maniac. He's got a whole nother alias where, you know, I should probably shouldn't blow him out, but he's got like the, he's got the whole thing going on with the videos and he's on the team and he really, he's doing great. But you know, I look at it like this. I see the amount of, that's like the polar opposite of you, right? Video. Correct. A hundred percent. And that's the problem right but if i think back How obsessed I was?

About lifting and reading and lifting and like I did it for hours because I wanted to be great at it So what I try to do is the dad of me goes motherfucker get outside like and he well he's in the video He was he was lifting with me that day and he'll do that and he's good at baseball too But it's one of those things where I know that's what he excelling at. He's got thousands and thousands of followers and he's doing really good. So I try to be like, you know, a dad in the now that understands social media, but also be like, yo, like I'm getting up at three to go work out and he's still up. I'm like, bro, I can't deal with this right now. Like, like you gotta get it. I go to his room. He's like,

I'm almost done. Motherfucker, you're done right now. Go to bed. The other half of you is pretty modern with social media, the internet, podcasts. So you understand the value of that. I do. I always think about how hard that must be for a dad. Because like like my dad's like a very business guy and like old school like you want a job go pound the pavement bring your resume around kind of deal and when i was like i'm gonna come start blogging he's like you're doing what and he

he didn't discourage it and he didn't understand it though yeah but he was like my dad was the total opposite my brother was working in commercial real estate with him and I never really did it. And then when my brother came over to Barstool, he went to my dad and was like, yo, man, I'm sorry. I think I'm going to bail on the family business. And he was like, are you fucking kidding me? Go. Go do it. You can just podcast and hang out and talk about chicks and sports. This real estate shit is for the birds, man. So it kind of can go both ways. Yeah.

I had a great talk with your brother, by the way, when we talked some diet that one time, it was really cool. Oh, you want to talk diet? Yeah, no, he was fun. Yeah. Well, the diet is, that's the one spot where you're, you're, you're not going to get me. Yeah. Yeah.

That's all right. There's three times, three time a day workouts though. We'll make it work. The workouts I'll, I'll join 100%. But, like, I still drink every night. And I actually eat pretty well. But I still have, like, two or three drinks a night. Now, I have moved on.

Not moved on. I'm just out of whiskey. Moving on from whiskey and not having any. Those are two very different things. Like, literally, the moment we hang up, I'm going to go do a liquor store. That's amazing. I've moved on.

I have been doing martinis, like gin and vodka martinis, which the one, the, how I deal with like, like the, the diet aspect of it is I just don't look anything up. And we just like Venmo calories. Like you don don't look anything up. Venmo calories,

you don't really know. I don't know how many calories are in a glass of whiskey or in a Margarita. When you're drinking, you're just drinking, bro. I eat fairly healthy. I don't eat as much candy. You're not like me, man. I feel like you're always eating grilled chicken

and normal. When I eat meals, I eat healthy, but I'm a snacker. I it's almost like right i actually have likened it very much because my family's been like you drink a lot of protein shakes i'm like well every time i exercise i drink a protein shake there you go because it's like a nightcap for your workout yes and it's i like to have my nightcaps too speaking of that i went i did some me and the wife he was doing some irish car bombs a couple weeks ago man i was fucking like i haven't got a car wait you're doing car bombs at home yeah bro i got a pub in my basement so i got guinness i got guinness on on tap and i got blue moon on tap in my basement so we were going straight irish car she drinks guinness too that's

what it's amazing so we go to a pub and we're like, yeah, two pints of Guinness. Or we went to Ireland and went to Guinness. It was amazing. So yeah, we're huge Guinness fans. So yeah, I'll drink me a couple of pints, you know, every Friday. But a couple of Fridays ago, we, look, we're in quarantine. I went live. I started dropping Irish car bombs.

Shit got funny, fucking funny. And I got the music on. I mean, yeah, you know. How many Guinnesses do you have on like a regular Friday? car bombs shit got funny fucking funny and i got the music on i mean yeah you know how many how many guinnesses do you have on like a regular friday so on a regular friday probably like the low end would be two but the high would be five so you know five sixteens would be on like my my bender day i guess you could say that's that's i think it's pretty serious no no no i can't no I usually chug the first one

the two and then sip on the rest I'm pretty serious like hey I've been giving it all all week I'm ready to get it on Friday I want to have a Corey G vs. Feidelberg challenge one week I live Corey G's life one week you live my life who would like go crazy

and crack first I don't know because he still works out I think he'd be fine but if you're taking care of crack first? I don't know. Because he still works out. I think he'd be fine. But if you're taking care of my kids, bro, I don't know. You got no shot there, bud. Yeah, right dude. I'd just be up playing fucking Fortnite. I'd be a good dad for a week. AG would probably like you better. You'd be battling them. That's fucking classic.

That is a hard balance though, is being a dad, being aware of social media, try not to embarrass them too much, trying to support them. It's definitely a weird dynamic. A lot of the kids at the high school do my workouts and take the supplements and it's interesting. So I try to keep my distance as much as possible. Listen, I don't think you're embarrassing them. Coming from a guy who is on a very regular basis, good shape and working out is not embarrassing. Okay. Don't worry about that. There's always that dynamic though. You know how it goes. I know what you mean, but I mean, you're, you're very far from being an embarrassment. So don't

ever think that. Oh, my tick TikTok. I don't know. Sometimes. I was just about to say, before we go, TikTok is for hot people. I could see like fancy workout routines and like workout accomplishments being very, like playing very well on TikTok. So how is that career going? Yeah. So man, I was hot out the gate bro went from zero to 24 000 followers you know um a big mix of like women that are older that are acting crazy and a lot of young girls asking if uh if i need a stepdaughter which is a little strange so it's been an interesting mix but uh i don't even know how they're asking that, man. I did not know what they mean specifically by that. I don't know if they want to hang out at your house or your house.

Dude, I'm getting, yeah, it's, it's real bro. Like, you know, there's some fucking hilarious comments that are like my daughter, like obviously won't even like, she won't even accept my French. It's so good, dude. But I did a little, you know, I'll throw some R and B in there every now and again, but at the end of the day, like it's actually my natural personality. So that's what I try to remember is anytime I do social media or any type of content, it's like, I really just am myself. And I would be around the house, acting a fool, dancing to old R andb or rap songs or whatever it is like that's how i am in real life so it really isn't that big a difference for me it's just that then if one goes viral then your kids are kind of like uh but to me it really wasn't that much of a

stretch which is kind of funny but it feels kind of natural if if tiktok comes naturally to you fucking run with it because i would love to be in that camp. And it's just like, not me, but if I could be, I'd be all about it. I'm I always play the role like of when you do the content, just hit the button. Unless you're saying some shit that's like sideways, like if you're just doing it and you believe like that was your natural push to do that song or do that. I try not to overthink it, man. Or even like, you know, I'll see the clips from what we do here, but I probably won't even really, I'm not going to go back and listen to every specific thing. Like I just, I just, I've just never been that way, bro. I'm a one take homie. Let's go. I think that makes it easier to with like, like you said, you don't usually like snap on,

on haters and stuff like that. I think it makes it easier if you're just like, I mean, it's just me. I know everyone's not going to like me. I do. Cause no one, no one on the planet likes everyone. So it makes makes it like if you have this character that you've contrived i feel like that hurts more to hear that's not liked because you're like oh i designed this for everyone to like and people don't like it like me i was like look i don't i get it like if you tell me you don't like me i fucking get a hundred percent so it's not same it's not as as heartbreaking to hear like, all right, I get it. It's fine. Especially not after 10 years of being online, doing content like early on when I was just a personal trainer inside the gym and I only dealt with 15 or 20 people. And I was always so

positive. The first time somebody come at me online, I'm like, this motherfucker don't know me. Like I don't, but the reality is you can't think that way. So once I got, I understood kind of the whole dynamic of it. Yeah. I'm just, you know, I just know I'm helping a heavy amount of people and those people that are haters, they just don't want, they just don't want to partake in it, whatever. They can move it on. It doesn't, it doesn't bother me too much. That's the name of the game, brother. I want to be like you guys. What's that? I want to be like you guys. Don't say that.

It's pretty easy. Just stop doing everything you do. You can, Corey. It's the easiest thing in the world, bro. This guy, the fuck out of here. I've seen your guys' studio when I came to the office. I see the work you guys put in. I got a lot of respect and I love podcasting. It's a lot of fun and the impact. And what I love about your guys' style of content is, man, a lot of people are having a lot of like trying times right now. And they can come to you guys and just really like laugh and enjoy themselves and go somewhere else for a little while. I think that's what Barstool offers for a lot of people, dude. You know, mine is still kind of making them feel bad about themselves sometimes because I'm like, get your shit together. But at the end of the day, it's in the same vein, just in a different area. But I don't know if you guys realize how much, and you probably do,

but I've ran into some people around town that are huge fans of your guys. And they're just like, I've been listening to them for so long. And I just heard you on there randomly, Corey, that was so cool. And I can just go there and just really get a break. You know what I'm saying? And laugh. And so kudos to you guys. It's all very needed right now. Believe me. If you could tell someone as a kid, like, Hey, when you, when you grow up, you can possibly be someone's recess. You'd be like, Holy shit. That's awesome. Right. Are you kidding me? I'll take that. I'll be, I'll be your fucking recess all day. And I, I get that a lot too. Cause as people start to build confidence through the programs and the things they're doing and just the belief systems that i'm preaching in my crazy ways it does help change people over time

and i take a lot i take a lot of pride in that man because that's that makes it all worth it bro i mean that's why we do what we do you know i'm very nervous about like once we're out of quarantine because then it gets hard again it's weird like it's easy for me because we have like this gym here and stuff like that you actually I'm gonna have to move in the fall. So you have me looking for a two bedroom apartment now instead of a one bedroom. So I'm like, I'm like, I can't go back to a gym. Oh heavens. No. I've worked out for a month now. I've graduated from gyms. I need my own home gym.

There's a lot of people thinking like that because, and even me, I own a gym, but you know, policing it, opening it back up and doing things the proper way, it's going to be tricky. I mean, and I miss it. I've been going to my own gym five times a week since I was 19 years old. It's weird, man. Right, right. Well, I mean, you're doing your best and I feel like everyone's following along with

it, doing their best. So good on you. And let's keep like a regular update. Stay on. Oh, yeah. And I'll be texting you. And let's keep like a regular update. Stay on. Oh, yeah. And I'll be texting you. All right. I appreciate that, man.

You and your Amish friend. I appreciate you guys. Thanks, Corey, man. Good talking to you, bud. All right. Later. Later. Look at what you see In her face

The mirror of your dream Make believe I'm everywhere Give it in the light Written on the pages is The answer to a never-ending story. Ah, read the stars. Lie a fantasy. Dream a dream.

And what you see will be. Run the kingdom, make it real. And what you see will be Suns and kings, there's secrets real I'm bold behind the clouds And there upon a rainbow is The answer to a never-ending story Story Soaring high Soaring high