KFC Radio - Bert Kriescher & Tom Segura || Taylor and Travis' Confetti moment, Usher's Halftime Performance, Vegas Trip Recap and More

Episode Date: February 13, 2024

Smash Your Hunger With KFC’s Smash’d Potato Bowls For Only $3.49! https://www.kfc.com/menu/special-offers/smashd-potato-bowl Timecodes: 0:00 Start 00:02:45 Super Bowl Recap 00:20:21 Taylor Swift and Travis' confetti moment + beer chugging 00:31:55 Usher's Halftime performance 00:44:37 Dunkin Commercial 01:02:56 John on mushrooms during the Dozen 01:12:35 Dana White and Bussin's gambling table 01:19:27 Kanye's new album 01:29:58 Missing signs 01:39:03 Video Voicemails ++++++++++++++++++++++++++ KFC: Smash Your Hunger With KFC’s Smash’d Potato Bowls For Only $3.49! https://www.kfc.com/menu/special-offers/smashd-potato-bowl Draft Kings: Download the DraftKings Sportsbook app NOW and use code KFC. New customers can get a No Sweat Bet up to a THOUSAND DOLLARS if your first bet loses. Only on DraftKings Sportsbook with code KFC. The Crown Is Yours. #DKPartner Nascar: Tune-In to watch the DAYTONA 500 this Sunday, February 18th at 2:30 PM ET on FOX! Solo Stove: Head over to https://solostove.com and use promo code BARSTOOL20 to get $20 bucks off $199 or more, and ditch the smoke for good. Hello Fresh: Go to https://HelloFresh.com/kfcfree and use code kfcfree for FREE breakfast for life! One breakfast item per box while subscription is active. SimpliSafe: Visit https://SIMPLISAFE.com/kfcradio to get 20% off any new SimpliSafe system with Fast Protect Monitoring.You can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/kfcr

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only available at KFC. We're back home. The game is over. I should say that episode of the NFL aired. We all know how the season finale was going to go. A couple things when you're saying it like that I don't understand the reaction

that that Biden thing got last night from everybody I guess you're not on Twitter as much no I saw it everyone was like what the fuck is this yeah I mean it makes perfect sense I think it's just a weird move Dante was like what the

I'm always good at Dante what the hell this like what are you the dumbest person i've been you were the one saying that it's a fucking psyop or whatever feidelberg is the official dante like he's like his own account like did dante tweet and i love every one of them you have like you have notice on for He just doesn't get to talk about it We'll just send him a check At the end of the month You never make an appearance You get money for it Yeah like

Especially right before the game Actually right before the game Trump's words got like Wildly twisted Did you see that? No He had a quote On his Twitter

Site That said like I just signed the Musical Fairness Act, like, in favor of Taylor Swift. And then, like, warped it to be, like, you know. He was like, even though I'm sure she hates me because her boyfriend's a liberal. And it was like, I don't know. It wasn't that bad. It was just like, I this act to to protect musicians joe biden didn't because he's like a crook um and i'm sure biden didn't because i already did

yeah whatever it was right whatever joe biden also didn't free the slaves but but like uh anyway his words got all twisted and shit but i i think it was you know for sure if you've been paying attention at all that tweet makes perfect sense with the fucking the you know the eyes the side up eyes and it's actually kind of a funny tweet from i don't even know if yeah it's like presidential accounts should be doing that i don't know i mean at this point it's like yeah you guys are just a bunch of scumbags on social media like like the rest of us you just happen to run the world too um so uh yeah i i don't i i don't mean it in the sense of like the nfl scripted man i just mean what we've been talking about all week it was gonna happen it was gonna happen the

mahomes the chiefs are the patriots mahomes is brady the dynasty is upon us he's probably gonna win like three more in the next four years uh and and i knew it the second turnover that I think, I think both times they went three and out. Maybe not three and out, but just a very unimpressive drive. That's it. That's it. It makes no sense because it's like the other team's obviously playing bad ball. If they've turned the ball over, there's a million fumbles,

but when you don't capitalize on those, it swings the momentum back. You know what I mean? And it wasn't even, I mean, the Chiefs continued to play poorly even after that, fumbles, but when you don't capitalize on those, it swings the momentum back. The Chiefs continued to play poorly even after that. They still had their chances. It was just like, well, the Chiefs and Mahomes are playing as bad as I think I've ever seen them. It was like 10-3.

I thought Kelsey was going to bury on that last touchdown. When he started trucking a little bit, I was like, here it is. Not the OT one because the OT one, he got him like the two. The one that – The rate and regulation. Yep, yep. They got him down to like the – like inside the 10 or whatever. He started to truck a little bit.

I was like, he's going to carry these motherfuckers in. It would have been great. Yeah, I mean I said it 100 hundred thousand times about the confetti kiss and then you know you get it you get that picture that's it it was gonna happen it always if i was a 49er dude but kelsey kelsey i i've done such a 180 on kelsey and admitted you know i think not long ago i came on the show and i said i had a literal nightmare that kel Kelsey was going to be a guest that day. That was – and I've come around as much as you can possibly come around. And I find him fairly interesting.

I think I know what you're going to say. And well-spoken. And, like, I think the podcast – I listen to podcasts. I see podcast clips sometimes. I'm like, that's pretty charismatic and that's, like, kind of cool. And then he gets on the goddamn microphone. It's like the cringiest shit. Bro, like I've never seen a fucking

post-game speech more designed to sell merch without actually selling merch. Did he talk to the fucking Beastie Boys first? Are they getting rights on Fight for Your Right to Party? He's just jamming that down our throats.

Leave Las Vegas. Fight for your right to party. Everything's a quote. Everything's a – It was like when Kevin Garnett with the Celtics where he fucked up. Yeah, yeah, yeah. The rumor is that he fucked up Anything is Possible for Adidas. Right.

No, Impossible is nothing. And he said Anything is is nothing and he said anything is possible he said anything is possible yeah and like it was like just that it that all felt not great well he's also back to me where it's like they wanted me to believe that this guy made the team cry last night i i it really is he's like uh he's got like alter egos or some shit Because on the podcast It's like bipolar It's a different voice

It's a different cadence He's always well spoken Soft spoken And then he's like Yeah Yeah You know He becomes like a cowboy all of a sudden

Or some shit Did he IV Jack Daniels Between game ending and now? Dude it is Oh god Some of it is some of it is so cringy yeah but it's it's coming from like the least cringy guy in the world in a way you know what i mean he's like he's maybe the best tight end of all time yeah and he's like the you know

the the the the um you know he's mahomes's guy he's the other part of the dynasty he's good looking he's got the girl, all that. And so you would think that when he gets on a mic, it's like, oh, shit, like mic drop. And instead it's like, somebody take it away. Somebody take it away. Somebody take it away. Somebody take it away. I've never seen anything quite like it.

Like Mahomes, on the other hand, you know what? They're kind of opposite. Like Mahomes has the come with the frog voice, but the shit he was saying Was like Real gangster shit When he was like You know The Kansas City Chiefs Are never underdogs Remember that

And I was like Oh baby The start of a dynasty We got more to go I was like God damn But he's You know

I got my loser boyfriend And my loser wife And everybody hates me And my dad's drunk But you know what We're the fucking greatest So suck my dick The It is You know The comparisons are gonna be But you know what? We're the fucking greatest, so suck my dick.

It is, you know, the comparisons are going to be endless for all time. But, like, that is kind of Brady Gronk-like. Yeah, it's true. But Gronk is that goofy. Dude, yes. Like, Kelsey doesn't seem like he's that goofy. You would think Kelsey would be cool. When Gronk does interviews and podcasts, he's still that fucking wah-wah. Yes.

Yeah, Gronk is a zany wacky doofus and then Kelsey's like yo what up playboy you know well actually no that's that's the other thing too there's three sides to him there's like the black Travis Kelsey then there's like the podcast Travis Kelsey and then there's the goofball Travis Kelsey and and then there's the apparently the Taylor Swift Travis Kelsey which I'm sure is you know totally different from all the other ones. I actually saw a lot of people jumping on him for knocking Andy Reid. I don't know. I mean, if you lost and you were doing that, I'm sure it would be painted a different way. But him being like, leave me in the fucking game.

Like bumping up against this big walrus coach. I kind of liked it. It is. I think the Chiefs villain arc starts now. Yeah. Where they're no longer the fun guys. From now on, people will not like them. So when it was Ben through this trajectory, this life cycle before, you will now be the villains. And you will be hated and all that good stuff.

And if this happened in two years it's a problem yeah yeah it happening now right at the end of the rope is okay if this happened in two years it's a it's a major issue because you can see he's like he didn't plan to hit reed you know you see him like pull up a gosh he grabbed his arm yeah yeah yeah yeah and i think andy kind of like stumbles more than i think he kind of expected him to and like and i'm sure it would have been and i'm sure there was even despite winning profuse apologies and all that shit it's all good but i you know that that's not like uh that's not it would be more like um if you had like a coach and a player that had beef already,

kind of tension, and it's like, wow, they really fight each other. That's like, I'm mad. Leave me in the game. You know what I mean? That's not an Andy Reid, Travis Kelsey thing. That could have been anybody. And then you go, it doesn't matter. You win and it's over.

Nobody fucking cares. Man, Niners fans. I can't decide whether Niners fans should be thoroughly sick to their stomach or if like we're saying you just never had a shot because part of me thinks it's i can't also decide whether it's dark magic that mahomes and them got it done while playing so poorly or if like it's like no man you guys really blew it. You had them on the ropes for three quarters. You should have handed it. And just never.

Yep, pretty much. And that's the other thing, too, that it's like, well, yeah. That's what happens. You know what I mean? If it was another coach. Three double-digit leads in Super Bowls and championship games. Maybe just Super Bowls. At some point, it's like, yeah, that's what you guys do

and that's what they do. So it was like the perfect storm. It also is crazy, I don't know if you saw, after the 49ers players being like, we didn't know the OT rules. That's crazy. Granted, maybe the coach was like, you don't need to know. I choose the coin to us. But the Chiefs have come out

and been like, if we won the toss, we were kicking. It's so much smarter, really. Kyle Ustich was like, I don't know. I thought it was regular rules. You guys haven't heard a speech about this? Crazy, man. Let alone running practice.

They don't even just let you know? Tony Romo was like, you either get the benefit of knowing that you're in four-down territory, or you, whatever it was, it was just like like that's not really that good of a benefit. The way he posed it kind of was like – Well, no. I think you want it second no matter what because then you – if you get it second, then you just go for a two-point conversion. You win the game.

Yeah. I mean there's a million things. It's like – I feel like that second drive when you know you're in four down – There's no positive to having it first. I mean, other than I guess you could just put their backs against the wall right away. That they have to score? Yeah. But, like, it's overtime.

You have to score anyway. And also, like, full-blown knowing you're in four down territory every time. It's like you— But that's only for the second possession. Right, that's what I'm saying. Yeah, that to me, you know, that can almost be your mindset no matter what happens in the first round. To me, it has never happened because the Patriots scored on the first drive of the...

No, that never happens because it's a brand new rule. Oh, right, right, right. But the Patriots were also the first overtime game ever. Ever, right. So like that, you know, that for sure will never happen again now. I think everybody realizes that now. The Patriots will never happen again because of the new rules. No, I'm saying that you won't receive the ball ever again.

Oh, right, right, right. I feel like from now on, everybody knows, you know. Even, like, I started, I was like, wait, the clock is, there's like 15 seconds left. Wait, does it end? You know, but I'm not in the game yeah and it's crazy that the players out there like some of them like we don't know what happens in 15 seconds and you know you know that you know that there's a couple guys who are like best friends on the team and you know like they look up and they see the time and they're like

and they're like yeah i don't know either all right let's just play this down see what happens like i'm not gonna say anything though because you can't be the idiot going what's happening what do i do yeah we're about to win we're gonna win we're gonna win the super bowl we're back back where we belong uh about what maybe, 10 years ago? I don't even know when it was. 10. 10 years ago, we partnered up with a little company by the name of DraftKings.

And I believe we were one of DraftKings' first ever ads, period. I remember doing a DraftKings ad read for KFC Radio. That was just us, just like the three of us on a Zoom or a Google Hangout. And it wasn't like it was live or an audience or whatever. And I was so nervous to do an ad read that I ran out of breath. And I was basically like Chris Farley. I was like, and then bet $5 on DraftKings.com.

I didn't have my voice. I was quivering. I was so nervous and embarrassed. It was just like nobody's even watching this. And that's how far we've all come. DraftKings becoming the premier dominant force in the sports gambling world. Barstool back in bed with them. I take umbrage with my recasting.

Yeah, so you got recast as Will, right? In one shot, you're Will. In another shot, you're Frank, I think. Well, I'm only talking about, I think, a little behind the scenes. I actually was supposed to be in the ad. We ended up having an interview. So I had to bail the day of the day before and they recast frank so frank was literally who was recasting me i was referring to who was standing in my spot

which is will compton yeah and it was cool it was like a snap everybody changes and then feidelberg turned into will very fitting very fitting yeah i i joked i was like can you get like a confidently handsome guy you got actually a very similar handsomer guy. So I guess that's all you can hope for in a recasting. I mean, it's very fitting. I think all is right with the world that Barstool's back in bed with DraftKings. We used to do – I mean, we did everything with them. We did the daily fantasy stuff with them.

We used to set our lineups. We were all making money back during that gold rush. And then obviously we had to go away for a little bit and now we're back. It's like getting back together with the girl you were always meant to be with. You know what I mean? We had a couple of DraftKings executives. I don't really know exactly what they are, but

in the green room at the Dozen, I was talking to our old pal Jay Danning. Back in the mix. Back where we belong. Making a ton of money to do it. Everybody's going to get rich off this one. So a lot of the haters who thought that Barstool was done after the Penn deal, they're fuming. As you, listener, will make a bunch of money and have a great time with DraftKings

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So download the DraftKings Sportsbook app now and use code KFC. New customers can get a no-sweat bet up to $1,000 if you lose your first bet. Only on DraftKings Sportsbook with code KFC. The crown is yours. Now we also just got to quickly discuss the free throw challenge, which if you're listening to this on Tuesday, if you're listening to this on Thursday, if you're listening to this next month, you might still be watching the DraftKings Barstool Free Throw Challenge where a whole crew of guys all have to hit 41 free throws in a row.

The likes of Dan and Dave and Big Cat and Titus and a whole bunch of guys that are out in Chicago. Every guy takes one free throw, and then you've got to get to 41 in a row. I think once you get to 20, starts like the pressure starts getting on like you big time and when you have 21 high pressure shots and when you are the guy if you're the guy who misses like multiple times yeah if you're the one you're if you're the weak link and you know your spot's coming and you miss and the guys are gonna try to fucking hype you up but they also going to be motherfucking you under their breath. Now, we discussed if that guy is Dave,

because Dave is not much of a basketball player, doesn't have a great shot, it could be one thing. If it's someone else, if Dave is somehow hitting his shots and Brandon's missing all of his, oh, my God. If they're on 37 and Brandon Walker misses, Dave is going to fucking murder somebody. So for all we know, this may go on forever. For all we know, you might watch Dan Katz, Dave Portnoy,

all these guys die in the Chicago office because it'll just be like 35 years from now, and they'll just die all shooting their free throws. But or I've also learned that with all these things, I don't doubt. I don't doubt you guys anymore because things that I think are literally impossible sometimes get done in a matter of like a day. So we'll see. What's your official bet?

How long do you think it'll take? Eight hours. Really? Yeah. I'm wondering if there's going to be a break, almost like a Jersey Jerry. There has to be. Yeah. So I think it'll go into tomorrow, but with everybody go home and go to bed or something

like that. We need to regroup tomorrow morning. So I think it'll be within a 24-hour period. But anyway, download the drafting sportsbook and use promo code KFC. Gambling problem? Call 1-800-GAMBLER, or in West Virginia, visit www.1800gambler.net.

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One no-sweat bet per new customer. Issued as one bonus bet equal to amount of initial losing bet and expires 168 hours after issuance. See DKNG.com slash promos for deposit wagering and eligibility restrictions, terms and responsible gaming resources. Uh, crazy. Um, your girl Taylor had herself a night.

I haven't seen any. I woke up late, so I haven't seen any. No, no. I mean, I mean, I mean at the game, like the chugging oh yeah see i actually think i mean i cannot express to you how big of a loser i think you are if you have a problem with taylor swift and football i've been you know we've been saying it for like weeks and weeks and weeks but now like

to the maximum if you have a problem with her being at the football game she was as real of a fan as i've ever seen like she knows she knows she knows ball taylor knows ball like she knows she was nervous when we were nervous she was excited when the team was ever in doubt i mean like everyone knows football right well i don't think so i don't think so i always say she's an american american americans you know football i think you could throw some some celebrity chicks in there and they're not gonna like get the game you know like even just like you know the balls in the air like you know these girls are on their phone they're taking selfies shit like that like they were dialed in every big play they would cut to them and they would have like an appropriate reaction that was either like holy fucking shit

or like when she was i won't put she was like oh my god oh my either like, holy fucking shit. Or like when she was, I won't put, she was like, Oh my God, Oh my God, Oh my God. Like in the same exact way that everyone who watches football and, and you know, roots for, for one of these teams was, was cheering and acting.

So like to me, you could also make the argument that she was doing that cause she knows. Totally. Totally. I was gonna say she's either a very good, but even, but usually that like, if you don't know,

it's hard to act sports. Yeah. You know what I mean? Like, if you're not. Unless you're a real sociopath. Yeah. And I guess anything's possible with these megastars. I've been to the floor where I can act, and I'm like, I don't know.

I mean, this just feels dumb. Yeah. Everyone watching knows I don't know what I'm doing, right? I just think that, like, that to me, if anything, was more like – I thought – now, I don't like her friends. I think Blake Lively and them are, like, their performative because what the fuck do they care? Unless Blake Lively is a Chiefs fan that I don't know about. Oh, I disagree. I think it's like – I don't know where Blake Lively is from.

I don't know about that. But you could make the argument for me that I root harder. For your friends? When my friends got, like, a big bet on the line or something like that. Well, okay. But, like, your friend's boyfriend is not really the reason to get all gassed up. I think it gives the reverse. If your girlfriend was going, like, bananas for me, that's kind of weird.

Dude, let's say my friend starts dating Hilary Knight or something like that. I'm going crazy. You are crazy for the PWHL. Yeah, man. You're going nuts for Hillary Knight, bro. All right. All right. I'll write that down. I'll remember that.

I think that's one of the better positions to be in where you don't really have that much invested interest, but you're like, I can just have fun. Yeah, yeah. Well, that is the other side of it. But like, I think the, like the Blake lively, like she was almost nervous being like, Oh my God.

Oh my God. Oh my God. Oh my God. Oh my God. Shut the fuck up. Like that. I think you wouldn't feel that way, but I don't know.

It did seem pretty genuine. She is an actress. So I feel like I spice doesn't even know what football fucking is, man. Uh, so whatever. I mean, people have their problem with it. It's truly, I think, maybe the biggest example in history of haters.

Like, it's so crazy to be. I mean, it's very real. There is a lot of people who are like this is bothering me i i feel so fucking sorry for you you are one of the biggest losers alive if that bothers you truly genuinely i actually didn't even listen to the audio because it would piss me off too much but like someone tweeted the in-game footage of her on the jumbotron chugging. And I think the caption, I think it was Ari Merkel or whatever his name is, he's an LA reporter. Being like, Taylor Swift chugs to a mix of

booze and cheers. If you booed Taylor Swift chugging a drink, you're probably the biggest misogynist in history. At that point, any other mega celebrity you'd lose it. He's a common man! He's the coolest dude! At that point, you really mega celebrity you lose, he's a common man. He's the coolest dude.

At that point, you really do have a problem with women. I almost want to say that's okay. It's not, but just say to yourself, I don't like women. That's what's going on here, man. It's the most standard way to get a cheer at a game. Ever. To be a celebrity on the Jumbotron jug. way to get a cheer at a game. Ever. To be a celebrity on the Jumbotron jug. Also.

You're like, fuck this. Boo. Let me just say this. Because Taylor Swift, I, in the past, I would say that this was a, like a Taylor, like a move for attention. Because, like, in the past, she would kind of just like pop up and do these things. She's gone to the game for like 24 straight weeks. She's a football fan at this point.

You know what I mean? She's earned it. She's been there. She's been a part of the ride. So it's not like she's just like, oh, it's the Super Bowl. Now let me slide in there and get all the attention and I'll do something performative to get the crowd to think that a pick-me girl or whatever the fuck they call it. She's just part of the fucking story now. Did her thing.

I love her other friend, though. That girl did not take a single sip. She held that against her lips, and if you watch her, she looks at Taylor, she looks at the Jumbotron, and she's like, how much longer are we going to do this for? Bro, Taylor's a machine. She's a booze bag, bro.

Think about it. I mean, you want to talk Burt Kreischer, she should start ripping theze bag, bro. Think about it. She, I mean, she's, you want to talk Bert Kreischer, she should start ripping the top off, bro. The work she does and the party she puts in, I mean, she went, what, right from Tokyo? I've been whispering about it for a couple years now. There's always, I mean, she makes a lot of alcohol references for someone doing, you know, poppy music,

although I don't think she's that poppy. She's more, she more encompasses music as a whole, really. She lost Future on Endgame. There ain't no genre she can't touch. But I said it when I was on Taylor Watch. I was like, I would love for someone to go through probably her last four albums, maybe even more. How many references? Count the alcohol references.

And it is. She's a booze bag. But, dude, so she probably went from, like, Tokyo performance straight to the Super Bowl. No, I don't know what that was. She got back to L.A. like Friday. What was everyone talking about? Like, is she going to make the Super Bowl?

She flew in when we were leaving, basically. I thought, yeah. The Japanese embassy put out a statement saying we'll get her home in time. I don't think it was Friday. I think Saturday afternoon. Okay, but fine. Even still, regular people terms. You perform that same weekend.

You fly like 20 hours home. Hit the Super Bowl. Obviously drink all day at the Super Bowl. Hit the after party. And now she's probably going to go right back on the road. She's a fucking monster, she's earned it as as a as a former taylor swift hater like what what more what's left for her to do dude it's crazy yeah it is really i mean we're so used to it by now because like i said she's been there every single week but like it's still one of the wackier things that's ever happened.

Like that. Last night it kind of set in. And, again, we all knew it was coming, so it wasn't, like, crazy. But, like, a couple existing and in back-to-back weekends winning album of the year in the Super Bowl is insane. Gangster. Gangster. And within seven days they did. That's crazy. That's got to be the biggest power couple. is insane. Within seven days they did, that's

crazy. That's gotta be the biggest power couple. Fuck Mahomes' Pursuit of the Goat. You cannot possibly own American culture more than that. Do you think Jay-Z and Beyonce or those two are the biggest power couple?

Well, I mean, Jay-Z and Beyonce having a marriage and shit like that probably. Who's the fucking bell of the biggest power couple? Well, I mean, Jay-Z and Beyonce would be having a relationship, like a marriage and shit like that probably because in the end, who's the fucking bell of the ball right now? But here's also what I was going to say is like I don't – I mean, who knows? I guess I shouldn't say this, but I don't think it's ending anytime soon. So like the same way that like Camille was at like every fucking Super Bowl and like Giselle and all the girls were like all together,

like I think Taylor Swift's going to be at the next like four Super Bowls I think if they end up getting married Taylor Swift's just like a part of NFL culture forever now it is wild how people started flash around marriage they have like three months yeah but that shit happens with celebrities man it's not when it does when yeah I think so once you once you like find something that works and it's like – because you're not – you can't like – it's hard. I think she dated Mattie Healy longer than Travis Kelsey this year. No. No, that Mattie Healy shit was a flash in the pan. But it wasn't.

It was probably two months. Take it to the bank. These two are getting married. I don't know whether or not they are getting married. For sure. I don't know. I don't get that vibe from it all those hugs and shit

they all loved how Taylor Swift waited for him to talk to her mom first if Taylor Swift body checked Donna Kelsey out of the way to talk to Travis Kelsey first then she's the craziest fucking bitch in the world I was thinking before the game that the Niners are going to win because Kelsey's on the end of his career,

so they want the rerun next year where he finally wins it, Taylor gets her ring, and then after they won, I realized, no, Taylor will probably have three when she's done. Travis Kelsey ain't going anywhere right now. I don't know why I thought that. I thought that he was going to ride off in the sunset next year, but he's got three, maybe four left. I think everybody does, in all sports now.

I think you've seen it with LeBron and Steph and all these guys. I think everyone's just like you take care of your body like a fucking weirdo now. So everyone's going to play until they're like 45. It's probably very hard to retire when you have moms. You know what I mean? It's like, well, I should at least try a couple. Gronk's body fell apart. Gronk was like ACL.

Yeah, I mean he couldn't physically do it anymore. ACL. But he had back surgeries before he even got to the NFL. And then it was legs and ACLs and concussions. It's actually pretty much how much he played. Like, he probably should have been one of those guys who never made it. So, yeah, I mean, and on the other side of things, like, I don't know. I mean, the Niners, I mean, they just had, like, so many moments that, like,

I feel like they could have taken control or put, you know, put the pressure on, and they just didn't. I'm trying to think of anything they did that was, like, Kittle had that big first down. There was a couple moments that I was like, oh, maybe not. Okay, I don't know. And, nope, just didn't capitalize on probably the worst i mean i'm not a huge football guy but i don't think i've ever seen my homes and the chiefs play that bad yeah that was like i feel like pacheco fumbled like nine times every time i turn around

pacheco fumbling fucking football and that that uh like weird interception from uh homes it was like whoa this seal is off. That was the only time I was like, oh, maybe I was totally wrong. Like, as always, you know, the mush. I don't know what I'm talking about. But then once they didn't capitalize, and that's when I texted you, and I was like, this is so obvious what's happening here. If you didn't put the fucking – if you didn't step on their throats right then

and there, you know, that was the worst half ever. But they're just down seven. They're just going to come out and play a better second half than you and outscore you by more than seven. It's over, you know that was the worst half ever but they're just down seven they're just gonna come out and play a better second half than you and not score you by more than seven it's over you know still took to overtime but god damn i you know it's it i'm sure if you're a niners fan you're like oh we were like right there in overtime the super bowl but like you weren't i don't know at the same time it felt to me like you were never gonna win that game it's a very strange dynamic and maybe it's all because of off the field-field shit, which admittedly is fake, but I don't know. Sometimes I don't think there is.

Sometimes I think that is real, more real than what goes on in between the lines. What do you think, Usher? I think it's fantastic, which really breaks my heart. Why? Because, man, it's great. It's great. It's amazing that now I am the age group that America markets to. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

You know what I mean? Like, when you're a kid, you're like, fucking Aerosmith. Now you're like, yes. Now I'm like, dude, I was like, yeah, yeah, fuck, it's me. It's me, oh my God. They made the Super Lap Time show for me. Yo, there had to be. You want to make love in this club, in this club.

There was probably some like 18-year-olds watching Alicia Keys and Usher do my boo being like, what the fuck is this shit? I actually, I mean, I love Usher this shit i actually i i mean i love usher probably more than i mean i love usher i think his catalog is so underrated i i thought it was uh like i personally enjoyed it but i thought it was very um forget forgettable like i don't think i i think if it wasn't for luda and little john at the end, I couldn't pick out a moment. He was surely saved by some cameos. When he was originally dancing off the throne, I was like, this voice kind of sucks. He started very poorly.

He had bad songs off the top. I thought he did a couple. Again, I love these songs. But Caught Up and You Don't have to call were two weird choices i think he had to come in with like a pop hit uh i liked it but you know again there are people probably like what is that and i think he i mean i give him props for singing live but it was not you know like he didn't sound that great and then in the middle there was a little medley of two songs that i was like i can't even believe he put these in the set list.

So I'm sure there are people who... He should have just done the whole thing on roller skates, man. He didn't really get a chance to get in his roller skate bag. When he gets going, have you seen some of those fucking videos of him in the roller rink? He's fucking unreal on the skates. He didn't really have the room to operate on his skates but he didn't really have the uh the the he didn't really have the the room to operate on on his on his uh skates but i i could see if if people didn't like that i would be like i understand why like it doesn't have the i i oh i i think i guess it had a mixed reaction but i think most people like that was yeah i don't know what's like your your age every single person i spoke

to like that was a 10 maybe the best we've seen. Yeah. Really? Oh, wow. I think the general consensus is it's the top three all-time people. Interesting. I don't know one bad thing about it. But I think that I agree with that.

But I think that's largely based – and this is a testament to Usher and his discography or catalog, whatever you want to call it. Like the music. I agree that the performance itself was like – There was the rollerblades. But aside from that, there wasn't anything where you're like, holy shit. I mean he took his shirt off, I guess. But the music. I agree that the performance itself was like, there was a roll of blades. But aside from that, there wasn't anything where you're like, holy shit. And he took his shirt off, I guess. But the music, yeah. Dude, when he took that shirt off and you heard every single woman scream.

It was great. No men. No gay men at the Super Bowl, apparently. No men screamed. But it was piercing female screams. If you were a black woman last night, you had a time. Oh my god. Usher is like...

Yo, Usher? Listen to that. That's hilarious, man. You got it, you got it bad. Dude, when Lovin' the... Song after song, every time I knew someone, I was like, this one! This one!

Dude, if he ever does a versus, he's destroying people. Bro, loving this club got me so much gave. I can't. No way. Wait, what do you mean? Was that your go-to song or something? When that song was on, it was immediately like, hey, you want to go home and watch it? What a one-two.

Yeah, bro, you don't know the game, Babs. Yo, knock him out. You get a little lady home, you got a fucking Netflix DVD of Hitch back there. Listen, bro, I don't care what was, you're at the bar, you could be stumbling over

your words you could be you could have no game you could be drunk and sloppy loving this club comes on and you take him home to hitch it's over that's the one two combo that could not be stopped knockout punch right there that's hilarious um i i yeah his i don't think people truly recognize what usher was i mean usher also usher turned though like one of the worst pr situations ever into just a multi multi-platinum album he just got he was in a relationship with chili from tlc got another woman pregnant and just made an album about it instead of being like you know instead of it being a big scandal everyone just like these these songs are awesome it's crazy i mean that that the the video is him on the phone going like what you are oh is that is that what confession yeah i didn't know that i know it's a great song but i didn't know that exactly exactly

literally he's like i'll just make a music video about it i'll just be you know uh on the phone finding out that you're pregnant he's like are you sure it's crazy and then they and then when they marketed the super bowl they did that commercial kim k was on the phone with him and she's like are you sure it's like this is and i'm sure chili's sitting at home going what the fuck man oh you know who chili's banging who michael matthew lawrence there's just matthew lawrence matthew lawrence one of the lawrence brothers from Who's banging? Who? Michael Matthew Lawrence. Michael Matthew Lawrence. Who's that? It's just Matthew Lawrence.

Matthew Lawrence? One of the Lawrence brothers. From, like I was going to say. Yeah. Wait, what? That's a 90s, like. She tweeted yesterday, happy birthday to my baby. And everyone was like, yo, let us redo his show.

And so much so that I actually Googled it. And yet it was truly his birthday. Matthew Lawrence's birthday. Yeah, this guy. I mean, he was a heartthrob, bro. He's one of the best looking guys ever for the 90s. And Chili is like maybe the most beautiful chick in the world. Yeah.

She's so gorgeous. They both look fantastic still in the picture. I'm sure. Yeah. They're just laying on the beach, and they're both like, yep, two hot people. Yeah, how about this? This is an article from 23 saying Chili teases her future plans with Matthew Lawrence if they got married. Nearly five months after debuting her romance with Matthew Lawrence.

Crazy. That to me is like, hey, remember the 90s? Yeah, let's fuck. I don't know either of these people. Chili was in TLC. I know TLC. She was like, she's not T-Vaz and obviously not left eye because she's no longer with us. But she's the long hair girl in the middle.

Oh. And do you know the Lawrence brothers? Do you know Joey Lawrence? Whoa. You don't know what that means, do you? No. Crazy. I guess that's kind of a deep cut.

I wouldn't expect that. No clue. Joey. Well, that's. See that like second row with the long hair to the right, to the right. Yeah. That was, Joey Lawrence. Okay. He kind of is like Steve from Stranger Things now.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Then, you know? So he was on Blossom. Do you even know what Blossom is? No. It's, like, a sitcom. I know this guy. Yeah, the Lawrence brothers.

Well, wait, why do you know him? I don't know. What's he from? What is this? Other than being a Lawrence brother brother they're all in a bunch of stuff they're all still like workers they i don't you know i don't think major things but they're all still acting i think they're around do you know the nerdy chick in big bang theory nerdy chicken yes she had a show she was called Blossom. So she had her own show and she was like a teenager.

Gotcha. And Joey was the brother or the boyfriend or something? I don't remember. I didn't know. I've heard of Blossom. I didn't know. I think he was like the dumb neighbor and she was like the nerd smart girl or some shit. And his thing was he would just go, whoa.

That was it. He had like a catchphrase. And then there was a third one, right? Wasn't there a third Lawrence brother? Did I make that up? Yeah, yeah the littlest one i forget his name too though look that one up because i don't that one i don't know if i could pinpoint andrew oh yikes that did not go good for him two two absolute studs and then this guy comes out looking like brendan frazier when he's like the whale or whatever i guess he had a look going there for a second. Man, that's – yeah, it's a tough pill to swallow when you – that's how – like are you old?

It's like do you grunt when you stand up? Do you wake up early? And do you like the Super Bowl? The Super Bowl halftime. That's my thing now. I still had people – I guess I'm in the minority even being like – I was pretty critical of it because I was kind of like – I think I set the bar so high.

I was like, yo, Usher's going to fucking kill it, and I guess he did. But I thought it was going to be, I don't know, just better, different. But I still had so many people reacting Being like, give me Springsteen Or the Stones, man I'm like, what? What? They don't want to do that, they're 80 years old

Get the fuck out of here They're not the generation with the money anymore Not that millennials have much But like, we are the generation Stereotypically that you want to market to Not the old people Who aren't really spending money Not the young people who don't have money much, but we are the generation, stereotypically, that you want to market to. Not the old people who aren't really spending money, not the young people who don't have money. It's millennials now. Again, I don't really know, generationally

speaking, how much the millennials have, but we're the ones who are supposed to have. They might need to switch that real quick. Otherwise they're marketing the Super Bowl to a bunch of broke people for a while. What is interesting though is that a lot of broke people for a while um but yeah that what is interesting though is that a lot of that era like for the longest time it always was rock and roll and then it was like you know as soon as they had any sort of like rap or r&b or whatever people

were like you know the whites were up in arms but there's gonna be a lot of that because like that is that generation when hip-hop became you know pretty much like the main uh you know pop genre it's like you're gonna get a lot of rappers you're gonna get a lot of r&b in the future we already kind of did beyonce rihanna bernamara's usher like it's already here and happening so but again i don't even know if there'll be that much uh as much backlash anymore because all those other people are dead they're dying yeah you know all the people will be like, what is going on here? They're fucking dead. We are going to Daytona, baby. KFC Radio, back on the road once again.

Just a week removed from coming home from Vegas. I'm back on the road to go to Daytona. I am going to crumble. I am not built for the road, but I am doing my first ever NASCAR event, and it is the big one, the granddaddy of them all, the Daytona 500. This is the perfect. If you are new to NASCAR like I am, go to Daytona. But if you can't do it, you watch it at home. You got The Rock as the Grand Marshal.

You got Daytona 500. You got all the star drivers like Chase Elliott, Ryan Blaney, Denny Hamlin, Ross Chastain, Bubba Wallace, all these guys. It is the perfect introduction to the world of NASCAR. And everybody to a man that I know who is not a NASCAR guy, because let's face it, all of us up here in the Northeast, we're baseball, basketball, football guys. NASCAR is not really our jam. But I've watched the Rock, I've watched Large do it.

I've watched Dave do it. I've watched Dave do it. I've seen spider do it. Everybody who gets a little taste of NASCAR ends up falling in love with it because it's absolutely electric. It is a hodgepodge crew that we got going. It's me and fights. It's the out and about boys, Nana and Trish.

We got from a spider and large. We got Frankie Borelli. I mean, what, what happened there? I don't even know how this draft came about, but the Barstool tailgate is going to feature all of us rubbing his racing out and about KFC Radio and Frankie from Foreplay.

Maybe The Rock will stop by. He's the Grand Marshal. There's a pre- and the icing on the cake, there's a pre-race concert with Pitbull. So, the five or six guys from Barstool, The Rock, Pitbull, and the Daytona 500. This is almost like,

this is America's new Super Bowl in my mind. This is America. We got wrestlers, we got Pitbull, we got the racing. I mean, this is everything it is. So if you can't watch it, it's February, if you can't go to it and you're going to watch it on TV,

it's February 18th, Sunday, 2 if you can't go to it and you're gonna watch it on tv it's february 18th sunday uh 2 30 p.m on fox the most iconic race in all of motorsports and also make sure to check out nascar full speed on netflix which is kind of like the like formula one had their uh netflix series that you know put the spotlight on their sport now nascar has theirs but daytona 500 it's 500 miles 200 laps two and a half mile But Daytona 500, it's 500 miles, 200 laps, 2.5-mile-long track, 30-degree angle. It's absolutely wild. So check it out February 18th on Fox, 2.30 p.m. And if you're going to be there, be on the lookout for the Barstool tailgate. I somehow missed the Duncan commercial when it actually aired.

I saw it after the fact. Yeah, my boy Brady got beat bad by FTX. I mean, this had had it all you got the jack harlow cameo there was a couple there was another there was another couple cameos that were like guys who barely were even fucking in it right jay lowe's in it you got uh ben affleck tom brady damon matt damon yeah that was the other one i mean it's it's great i. I thought this was very funny. And I think this was probably so much fucking fun to make. Yeah. Oh, well, I actually...

See, I thought the commercial itself was fine. Yeah, I mean... The commercials were so-so during the Super Bowl. This was on the upper edge of it. It wasn't... I wasn't like... Oh, I thought this was far and away the better. The best.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. It was... Well, the one that got me hard with Cardi B, that one was probably the best one well the one that i was drinking on too i mean cardi b what was crazy you didn't see cardi b it's like nix nyx i think it's called uh duck play it again bro uh duck plump is the name of her thing but they had it like covered up like the the letters were kind of covered up so it looks like dick pump it was like it was wildly uh sexual yeah it was i'm gonna give this one i got a kick out of the uh the end of the um the end of the duncan commercial that went in jello's like dom you can stay yeah the commercial they did uh they did like a i guess uh it's not really behind the

scenes because they're still acting um but the Duncan Twitter tweeted it. I thought that was way better than the commercial. It's just this one right here. But they're just, Affleck delivers a line in this. It's so perfect. Right through the Duncan. Ready? You f***ing baton.

See what you got. Oh, lucky shot. Still didn't make it. Low, low to keep me awake. Oh, now we're talking. No, no, no. The hands. Yes. No, I don't want to hurt your hands.

Yeah, I don't either. Quick. Oh! I told you it was better than you, Matt. Did you get that? That was... I didn't believe you, Matt. Fucking... Bro, I was watching that this morning.

I was dying laughing. That's fucking great. It actually, like, really, like, gives me, like, hope that they are really just buddies. Because, like, that was an actual conversation. Like, Matt Damon was like, I think I can do it. I think I can throw a bet at him. No, you can't, dude. I told you better than you, Matt.

Talk about Tom Brady. Come on, you can't, dude. I told you better than you, Matt. Tom Brady. Come on, guys. Oh, man. Yeah, that to me was far and away the big one. The rest, you know. I think everything is so marketing now and viral and shit. All of it's lost its luster. You guys probably don't evenuster it's like it used to

you guys probably don't even realize it but it used to be like you know a real thing to like but it's been a long time since i paid attention to super bowl commercials because they put them all out a week before i know that's what i mean yeah it just becomes the internet but i mean it was that's like but it used to be what i think it's like a decade yeah of like super bowl commercial yeah like your generation probably has no idea about it where it was like i mean people would talk about a commercial like it was a fucking i I mean, people would talk about a commercial. Like, it was a fucking... I guess it's the same thing as, like, have you seen that video?

Did you see that video that went viral or whatever? You know? That sort of thing. But, yeah, I don't... I think it'll be hard to, like, ever have, like, a best Super Bowl commercial ever again. Yeah. Like, I think they all just kind of blend together. You said something about the bullying one?

Oh, yeah. That made me laugh. I thought it was a parody. I mean... I was like, this is going to flip and be something funny. And then they were bullying, and I was like... But, like, having all the, like, amazing-looking, super fucking talented athletic guys read these things and then be like,

these are the things that the fat kids are saying. I was confused because I was like, is George Kittle going to say this is what happens to him? That's not what happens to him. Then he just says, yeah, this is what happens to these fucking loser kids. The losers are getting bullied. That was crazy. It's like, let's have all the fucking guys who absolutely don't get bullied, you know, read out loud what the bullied kids say. I'll do the other side of it.

Yeah, I was going to say, you were the guys throwing them in lockers. You were giving them swirlies. When they were like, these are the words of the kids getting bullied. I don't remember all that clearly but i think they were they used to say stuff like that yeah i think that's what i heard from their while they were drowning in the toilet cam hayward's like nobody wants to be my friend i was

like what everybody would love to be your friend that was wild man uh so yeah that one i got a kick out of that one it was just the only thing that tried to be real deep and then that one for the girls did you see that one Jackie it was all about like girls dropping out of sports because they have like body issues and stuff like that did you see that

I was going to say Jackie when she was 12 on the 12 and under team it was very like it was for Dove being like let's help, you know, let's help. Jackie left because her boobs kept getting caught in her stomach.

Jackie showed up to fourth grade soccer with just bombs being like, I can't play anymore. My like, soccer team, we had like an Instagram,

like a Finsta account with all of us, but it was just all me like with my boobs like flopping around. That was the reason I got the boob job. Because of your own Finsta? Really?

Wait, wait, wait. When you say a Finsta, that was your Finsta? You ran it or someone else ran it? The whole team ran it. And they just kept posting your tits? They would post pictures of my tits. That's horrible, bro. Or pictures of baloney and they'd be like, Jackie Zippo.

No way, dude. Because that's what it was. But then it was funny. I obviously was in on the joke. It makes it sound like I was baloney. Yeah, it does. Yeah, you know when sometimes we do this thing where you uncover something about me? I was going to say, Jack, I don't think you can see me.

My jaw was just dropped. When you just said I was in on the joke, I was like... No, I was totally in. They were my friends. We were laughing. They were laughing with me, not at me. You're making it fucking sad. It was funny.

I wasn't making it sad. I just said that's why I got plastic surgery at 15 years old. That's hilarious. Wait, let me see if I can pull it off. I know exactly the position you're in, and I agree where you're like, no, it's just funny. Same with how the commenters would comment on my nose. Same with how everyone would comment on my nose. It's funny.

It's hilarious. It's hilarious. I'll see if I can pull it up. To see if that fits is still active. I mean, the baloney, it's one thing if you post and it's still just fucking roast and you only,

it's like you sit on this couch now. Jackie on the bench where she always was. Still going. It's one thing to be like, ha ha, look at our midfielder with like huge tits. It's another thing to be like, ha-ha, look at our midfielder with, like, huge tits. It's another thing to be like, these pieces of bologna are her nipples.

That's fucking crazy. Jackie's about to learn it wasn't a team Finsta account. It was a bully Jackie account. And it's still been around. So, wait. When you say Finsta, does that mean – were, like, other people following it or was it just a team thing? No, it was just a team thing. Okay.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because that would be fucked. Like, the whole school's following it and they're just like, thing? No, it was just the team. That would be fucked. The whole school's following it and they're just like, look at Jackie's baloney nipples. Was our coach following it and then we blocked him after they started posting my boobs? Yeah, I would imagine that's a good time to block.

Oh my god! Oh my god! It's literally just pictures It's like ten pictures in a row of baloney Guy holding it with the eyes cut out Guy's just holding a stick of it Just a fucking Oscar Mayer brand Do they just call you baloney?

I would have called you baloney right to your fucking face What's up baloney? What's up bobo? Oh man that's fucking hilarious By the way Jackie got a Jackie got the she's a made man

she got the nod from Dave Portnoy out in Vegas said he just says to her you know I want to talk to you where was that

when he first said let's talk in the lobby I should like my camera just doesn't work so I don't but whatever but I know in the it was working and doesn't work so i don't but whatever but um i know in the

in it was working and then like somebody just shut it off but whatever um the in the lobby of the hotel so just passing by the lobby uh dave says i want to i want to talk to you let's have a meeting how long are you here for and i was like uh like until tomorrow and he was okay and i was like why he was like because i want to talk to you the fact that the thought of her going why very jackie very funny um yeah so yeah uh you know what we've been here for 15 years trying to make content all we ever want to hear is dave say good job and you know jackie's here for about 45 minutes and he's like what do you want you want a new show you want you want you want a new studio whatever you want you and he's like, what do you want? You want a new show? You want a new studio?

Whatever you want, you get. He was like, I don't know what you should do with this information. There wasn't anything. Well, that's the thing about it. You can tell people, I mean, we've been saying it forever, but you just don't listen to us.

As soon as Dave says it, you believe it. Whatever, no big deal. No, that's not true. No, it is true. I mean, it's right. It should be true. Our word means nothing here. Have you not learned that but whatever, no big deal. No, that's not true. No, it is true. No, I mean, it's right. I mean, it should be true. Yeah, it's like our word means nothing here. Have you not learned that?

What we say means nothing here. It's true, though, that somebody like Dave can tell you, and Dave's usually pretty spot on about this stuff. He'll say, like, you know, you are entertaining or talented or different or unique or whatever it is, but I can't tell you, like, so here's what you should do. You should have a show twice a week where you go you like so here's what you should do you should have a show twice a week where you're like he's not gonna do that but he you know him giving you

the giving you the nod being like you're funny and and i and for him to notice it you know means means it's it's really working he did say he was like i could be completely fucking wrong about you like you might suck i don't know, he's really usually not, though. He's really, he's got a pretty good record. He's a 50-50 these days. Well, yeah, no, I was going to say, he's either right that you're talented or you become like a clown in the circus. But either way, you last at Barstool.

So, Jackie, it's almost better if you're a clown at the circus. Let me tell you. Now it's like, yeah, now I don't know what to do. Now you have no excuses. I know, I know, I know, I know. That's because I literally like, I, I was like, I, cause I was saying like, I don't know if you guys like just are biased.

Cause like we're, we've obviously like you guys, like we've had like a podcast family now. You can say friends. Boy, did you fucking jump around that way. Jesus Christ. Yeah. We're all pretty friendly, Jackie. I don't know.

I don't know how to describe you guys. Coworkers together that enjoy each other's company on a podcast. No, but I understand what you're saying. So it is when you have like an outsider who also is, you know, obviously a very tough opinion to crack his... Yeah. I pretty much was like, if for some reason Dave were to say, I think you're entertaining. Pretty much everything that I had said in my head, if he were to say this, I'll try it.

He said it word for word. Okay. I mean, there you fucking go then. There you go. Now also you will look like a colossal asshole if like, you know, one of the, if not the biggest media mogul on the internet right now gave you a vote of confidence and you just did nothing with it. Yeah, exactly. But now I have to.

I also, I'd be curious to know what it was. Yeah. Which, which thing saw him go? I need to have the conversation. I think that, um, that, that I think that Cyber Monday thing went well. Even just that little interaction. Yeah, yeah. I think he realized that she was more of a thing than just a producer at that moment.

But yeah, I don't know. Have you put out something recently that like... He kind of brought up the... But I didn't think it was... Well, I don't know. He said if he sees a clip, obviously he's curious to watch. So I think he's seen... I don't think it would. Well, I don't know. He said if he sees a clip, obviously he's curious to watch. So I think he's seen if he's – I don't know. But then he kind of said something, I think, about the bill on Capitol Hill.

Well, that's what I was going to say because he doesn't usually wait long. And that was the clip before that. I don't think that was my best storytelling. I agree. I don't think that was your best clip. First of all, Bruce, you said it. I'm't think that was your best clip. First of all, that's almost better. If you had just something that was rogue,

viral, and super funny, and he sees that, and it's like, oh, I can't repeat that. If you put him the hits, he'd be like, okay.

Yeah, yeah. If you like that, but if you like that. I think with that, we just had good cameras, and it just looked like a podcaster. Hey, listen, that's part of it too, though.

There's a look, there's a sound, there's a style. I actually had my first note from Super Bowl week was Jackie's got bologna tits. Caps locks. Shout out Jackie and Pavs. That was

a performance for the ages. Like before Dave talked to you guys, you guys were both unbelievable out there. Watching how like doing stuff with other people now is it's night and day. It's night and day with working with you guys. It's crazy. Like you obviously production was great. is it's night and day it's night and day with working with you guys it's crazy like you have obviously production was great you were doing so much the entire time like i hope you guys had fun but like you guys worked so fucking hard and you had everything so organized you had cars ready

you had kfc ready the camera paths you crushed out of order. I thought I was like – I was there. I think it was like Wednesday it hit me where I was like not like proud of you guys, not like impressed because that makes it sound like you guys are like little babies with diapers still. And I haven't thought of you like that in a long time. But I was like I'm honored to get to work with these guys. You guys were – There was a moment – I think I even said it in the text. I think you had the car ready and the food ready or something like that and like in the past that was like a hundred percent something i would have had to do and like and we would have been late and like and it was

just all of it was just done you know it was great and then like in the middle you uh film a fucking film and put out a whole skit you know and jackie's like half of the podcast content it's like this is this is kind of a dream right now it was it was great and and you like and you guys built what 24 yeah you guys both have like a level of commitment and like an understanding of what this job takes that i certainly didn't have it yeah i used to say uh say the same thing about ria because she started like really early i was like by the time you're 10 years in you're gonna be 28 with a decade under your belt at you know the biggest media company on the internet and you guys are really not far behind you started what early 20s so like you guys both have a better understanding and more talent

yeah you guys are you guys are sick i don't think. I mean, we used to say it all the time. I was like, Jackie's going to take over the show soon. And I think people kind of laughed about it. I'm like, well, the day has arrived. This is it. Hasn't it? We're stressing because the... Oh, we actually have to address one thing.

We have to talk about this. I think me and Jackie have worked together for like... It's been three years. And there's never been one ounce of I'm mad at you or like something happened here. Oh, we got a little tension? No, there was like, this is how ridiculous it is. Like the smallest amount of tension. Well, did you guys notice when I was like a dick to Pabst kind of?

You were not a dick at all. What did you do? What did you stress? It was just like when we were getting ready for the Burton Tom. I like called him and I like asked for his help. Yeah, wait. I was gonna say, I thought that was actually cute because you were like, you guys like held each other. we were getting ready for the burton tom i like called him and i like asked for his help yeah wait wait i was gonna say i thought that was actually cute because you were like i i you guys like held each other yeah that was that was the most like tension that's ever happened i could

tell that she was stressed and i was like i'm just like like walk away from this situation just like i could tell that she was really stressed before the show and then she kept texting me like hey do you want any food do you want anything just try to like i'm like just let you know i'm not i was not upset at all like you didn't act like crazy at all but in my head is because i asked for my charger back and jackie never once has been weird about like no like don't have that or she was like actually i'll go get it and then she comes back into the room and then she's like actually i don't know i don't know and i was like there's rather a dude in her room or or like she left the biggest vibrator in the world and she was like is that what you're

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Dude, speaking of the Bert and Tom interview, you're about to watch it, so you'll understand a little bit. I take a mushroom during the Bert top interview and 20 minutes later this is before i went on the dozen and before i did everything 20 minutes later i looked at tom and he had the the desert background behind him uh-huh and the desert was waving and i was like i didn't want to say anything in the moment. But so Tom and Bert roll in with their new vodka, Porosos.

And we pour a couple cocktails and pretty heavy hand at that. And John takes a big gulp of the vodka and immediately is like, you guys want to do mushrooms? And pops that. And in the moment, I was going, oh, that's's not good you got a whole fucking night ahead of you bro i was and specifically you were like you're like i don't like the chocolate mushrooms and you broke up a whole chocolate bar pop that shit in and then and then like had to go do a whole show i remember being like oh boy dude then i guess it doesn't. And we're fucking, they call out the booze ponies on stage. And we had this whole thing that fucking flopped. That sounded so good on paper.

It was, dude. So we were like, we're going to fly day now, which we were going to split. And then I heard it was $500. And I was like, we'll can eat that. It was like splitting 250s. We would have split it. Wait, let me set the stage though because i don't think people understand the whole the whole scope of it

the dozen tournament which in general i don't think if you're a diehard fan you get it but like john got up in the middle of a interview with burke kreischer and tom segura he's like i gotta go and they were like where are you going like why are you leaving this and he was like to go to our our trivia league performance and they were like what so it sounds completely ridiculous but if you're in the barcelona universe or a hardcore fan the dozen is our trivia league which is very popular and people take it very seriously we had celebrity guests everyone loves it and john was the halftime show because his show his team is like the goofy team the funny team turns out this year they're the number one team in the fucking country.

So it was ridiculous to have the Booze Ponies, who are the number one team in the league, be the halftime sideshow. So they fly Dana out. Brady and the Booze. Right, right. So Will and Feidelberg were supposed to be doing the halftime show, so they were like, let's bring Dana out because we've got to have the three of us be like, fuck you guys, we're the number one team.

And we were, so we, they introduced us beforehand and they had us just in this corner. And it was like, like kind of like a surprise type deal. And Jake Bass just kept being like, just stay out of the way of this camera up here. And I kept just being in front of the camera. I'm going,

I just kept being like, Oh boy, I'm on mushrooms. Oh boy. Oh boy I'm on mushrooms Oh boy Oh boy that handful of mushrooms I ate Is really affecting me Who knew We couldn't get the mics to work So I'm just screaming and I'm sweating

And my legs are shaking And I was like fuck I should not have taken those mushrooms What's funny is I don't think anybody else did right Bert I think took some for later yeah burt was fucking shit face burt's hammered in this interview it was the first time i think he cut loose since uh getting back on on track health wise uh so i think he was you know pretty shit faced off of i think he was you know his feelings it's his own liquor he's at the super bowl he's back in shape. So he was on one for sure.

Feidelberg's popping mushrooms. Tom's sitting there just like, what the fuck? Where am I right now? It was quite the scene. This interview with Bert and Tom feels like one of those fever dreams where you're like, that was a weird dream. What happened? John was on mushrooms but the after the first intermission report greer texted me and he's like he's like everyone thinks

you're on drugs and i am i am i was like what do you mean he's like there's sniffles they're saying and i was like haha jokes on them i haven't done any coke but i am on mushrooms i was gonna say uh hallucinogenics yeah but i but I'm not. That's funny. And then my worst nightmare happens where I'm high on mushrooms. And I'm giggling. I'll be like, we'll put out a highlight reel of it. And I look at it. I'm like, ooh, that boy is tripping.

I didn't see any of this. So you can really tell that you're goofy I think in my head I can the is there volume? should I just keep talking? oh I thought you guys weren't on stage

you are I think that was fine. That didn't bomb. Wait, run that back real quick. What was that? What did you just do? You were like, yep. That was very funny.

Hold on. Welcome to the intermission. The Booze pound. What do you think the turning point was in that match? Why are you touching his back? He's touching my back. People asking if we should have been in that spot where the experts were. Absolutely not.

You motherfuckers. You're an idiot. You're an idiot. You know how stupid you are. You're very likable. Oh, my God. You guys are likeable. But it's a stunt that you guys are doing.

It's a joke. It's a it's a stunt that you got You weren't in here for my initial question He did stand next to him the whole time. Smells great. I'll get a good look at it. He does. I stood next to him the whole time. I believe we were just told to keep vamping. What do you think Gary V brought to the squad? Energy. Gary, you talk about them being closer than your relatives. What would you do if one of them was shot in the face? Frank, what are you going to do?

We're going to hopefully win this tournament And take that ship home Winning this fucking shit, Frank Welcome back, presented by MangoRx Dana I'm a huge massive pussy You know what, Michael Greer texted me earlier He said, he said, someone said we're on drugs Yeah, how about his TMZ

Outing, Dana That's not gonna help That's not gonna help Just lost a tough match Day four That was tough The outing, Dana. That's not going to help. That's not going to help. Get the fuck out of here. Just lost a tough match. Day four. That was tough. But we'll then give you the ball back twice down. So you guys.

You missed one of the food questions. Just wandering around like a fucking speck, dude. That was on me. Man. I can't even imagine what you were. I mean, the dozen is such a fucking spectacle as it is. On a whole bunch of mushrooms, a little bit drunk. God damn.

It was very fun. Well, I'm happy that. I'm happy that happened, though, because I got to say something, man. It was an eye-opening experience, this Super Bowl, for Barstool Sports. Because this company is washed up. Brother, washed up. Super Bowl used to be a fucking gauntlet, man. You had to work all day, go out all night.

People were partying. People were fucking. People were fighting. It was it was i mean a scene dude there was one time when one one uh one place they when we were staying in houses they they someone had to clean out my room and they were like dude there was so many vials of coke in that room i was like yeah it was the coke room. They weren't all mine. I just let everyone do coke in my room. Well, I mean, I'm sure – I know that the Bustin' with the Boys guys cut loose. But they're kind of like a mercenary.

You know what I mean? They're out on their own. As far as like the internal core, I mean, every – I thought I was just being, like, an old pussy and a dad, but, like, every story I heard was everybody was, like, I was in bed by, like, 8 o'clock. Everybody just kind of got dinner, went to sleep. Like, this weekend coming home and people were like,

so, come on, tell me, like, what happened. Did you guys do anything? Nothing. But did you want to or did you want to, like – I mean, by the time we got back, I was pretty beat, but we would go out to the casino and just like we would just go downstairs yeah like last night we we know we went out pretty late but there was no like we're not going to a club or anything yeah but like if we were would would you have i kind of just ride with eddie like whatever we decide whatever anybody does yeah yeah i mean it was great for me because

it was like a like a lighter well i we like, oh, this is actually a light week. We don't have as much as we usually do at Super Bowl. And then every single day was jam-packed. But I was like – to get away and just be like, I'm just going to go sit in my fucking room and eat so much room service. I heard somebody talk about being old. I heard someone mention that luckily their bowels are staying regular. No.

That's like. They're like, you know, for me these days, I got to keep the bowels regular. Okay. Wait. Hang on. Hang on. Let me think. Now, to be fair, I was vague about it because it's not a content person.

Okay. But it was still like. It was like, Jesus. All right. I don't think we knew each other like that yeah you were in the car uh yeah i mean i i don't other than the big uh man you know there's obviously everybody knows the little clicks at barstool and the people who kind of naturally fall in line with each other andstool and the people who kind of naturally fall in line with

each other and then there are certain people who kind of bounce between all the different groups but like you know i'm not usually going to go out with dave we stick to our crew whatever and and usually that that all works out well but boy did it not pay to not be in like the day port night gang this weekend because if you were there you just automatically got at least five thousand dollars it was just like if you are in the crew and you are playing blackjack minimum walking away with five grand which it was it was funny the way it was how did he gave it away no it's been basically the story is just that dana white will gamble any amount of money for as as long as it takes for you to win that's it that's the story Like, they call it the tunnel of chaos.

It's your turn. You play like one person plays at a time, basically. So it's your turn at the table. And you come into it and you say how much you want to win, which is another thing because I'm like, wow, $10 million. I want to win $10 million. And so I guess Dave went in and said, I want to win $100,000. And Dana White was like, that's a little much.

Like, how much do you want to win? He's like, $60,000. He's like, okay okay let's go now dave happened to hit on like two hands at like betting like 30 grand or whatever it was and it was like he's done he's like okay you're out next in and for the first few guys they all just hit and i i guess like dana you know it was it was people with money so it's not like dana's like putting up the money but i think he also is your safety net, basically. So everyone just won right away. And it was like, okay, we win.

And then Will gets on, and he runs cold. And he was down like 400 grand. But Dana was just like, we're good. We're just going to keep playing until you win it back. And they do that every time they gamble with Dana White. So as long as you have enough money, have enough time, and have enough of a relationship with the casino, because I think they want this, they're like, it's great.

I mean, I'm sure they loved all this attention. As long as the casino can't be like, you're done, dude. Like, we're cutting you off because I know that you don't have this much money, so you're paying us $400,000, and that's it. As long as that happens, you can just kind of play forever. So it's a little bit of a – it's like if you have celebrity friends, it's awesome basically. That was the first day we were there. We were sitting there playing – doing the rundown, and Dane and Will came in.

I'm sorry, Taylor and Will came in. And Taylor was like, you boys want to play cards tonight? And I was like, yeah, I'm in. And then he kept walking to the kitchen. And Roman started telling a story about 500 grand being on the table. And I was like, Taylor, how much money do you think? Like, were you talking about inviting me to, like, a fucking card? I thought we were going to go to, like, the $15 table.

Right. At the fucking casino. No, I think it was, like, $10,000 bets each time. Because then, like, so Dave was allowed to ask for like $60,000 and then Dan asked for like $20,000 and then Hank got $10,000 and Austin got $5,000. It was like a hierarchy of where you're at at Barnstall. So we probably would have walked away with like $12,500.

But it was like, I had to really remind myself, I mean, Austin just getting five grand was probably, like, amazing for him. He probably played it cool just trying to be like, I'm with the high rollers right now. But he probably was like, oh, my God. I think he just, like, sat down, like, got some cards, and then, like, here's five grand. That's it. It was, like, one hand, two cards, five grand. There you go. So the lesson here is if you ever get an offer to play blackjack with Dana White, you say yes.

I think the only time it ever ended was Dana had an event that night. So he was down like 500 grand and was like, I got to go do power slap. And he left. And that's when Taylor and one of the the bus and producers stayed up all night and won the 500 grand and gave it back to him i think as like a thank you boss you know which is very smart because i think it keeps the the dana white train gravy train rolling forever because i mean if you think about it like even will being down 400 grand for him he's like he's like a billion dollars doesn't he huh doesn't anyone have like a billion dollars yeah oh't he? Huh? Doesn't anyone have like a billion dollars? They know. Yeah. So like 400 grand to him, it's like being down 400 bucks.

He's like, yeah, we'll just keep playing until this is erased. Don't worry. It's awesome. It's fucking incredible. So yeah, that was the one time I was like, should have just been a little more friendly with Dave. Should have said, hey, Dave, what are you doing tonight? One of the worst feelings in the world

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Yeah. The beautiful naked big titty woman doesn't drop out the sky no more. Yeah, what was that? Doesn't drop out the sky no more. I got bad news, folks. That new Kanye West album. Oh, God. Oh, no.

It's really good. I haven't listened to it. Did you listen to it? Dude, my brother. That's how bad it was. That's how much it's fallen off for me. When I saw it wasn't on Spotify, I was like. It's on Spotify.

Oh, now it is? Okay. When it first came out, it wasn't on Spotify, and I was i was like i'm not gonna jump through the hoops for this i had gone through i i i had made the conscious effort to not listen i was like i choose to not what in solidarity with the jews yeah sure just like yeah i guess whatever i was just like i'm not gonna listen to this really though out of just like you know he's like yeah yeah you don't want to support him anymore like it wasn't support it was just like i don't know i can't really fucking be involved with this anymore i hear that yeah and then my brother texted to me and he went i he didn't even

tell me who it was he was just like just give this album a listen and i knew what the album was hang on a second perhaps just googled vultures and clicked on images and it was just a bunch of pictures of birds how are you so good at everything else and just the woke at google he just can't google it's crazy images it's just birds all right sorry what the hell is this thing um and and so i listened to it and like the first song i was like god that's fucking good And then the second song I was like god that's fucking good And the third song I was like What Kanye said didn't even matter

He was joking in context In the grand scheme of things Like a lot of artists have done a lot worse Than what Kanye West did Bro and then I get to the last song One of my favorite songs on the album. The chorus is, I'm a crazy bipolar anti-Semite, and I'm still the king. I'm going to play the chorus.

It's so funny. What is the general consensus? I think the general consensus is It's good But from non-Kanye stands? I think so I was looking up articles Why was it not on Spotify at first?

Is there something going on there? Kanye doesn't release albums normally I cannot believe It drives me nuts every time When people at midnight On the day he said it's going to come out are like, where's the guy? He's done this nine times in a row,

guys. It'll probably be out in two weeks. Um, yeah, I, I heard like a couple Amazon music tried to get me. Bezos tried to get me that rat Amazon music included with prime. I was like,

Oh, all good. I have prime. Yeah. The only thing is you can't play the music you want to play it plays if you go to the album and you press play and you and you don't have you you don't pay for it separately it will shuffle in other artists that you think are like a part of it and you can't skip songs i was like oh fuck you man uh but so i tried to listen to it on on amazon and uh what i heard i didn't really care for and then um this is so annoying too though how they're calling him an independent artist it's like yeah no fucking yeah i guess he's an independent artist it's not like he's you know usually that's reserved for like the guy on the come up who's's not doing it through a label.

He's literally an independent artist. I know, but he's a billionaire. What's impressive about doing an independent is that you don't have the resources. He has all the fucking resources. But it's like Barstool Sports is a private company. Yeah, but nobody... That doesn't

evoke a certain feeling. You know what I mean? When people say an independent artist, it's like, oh, wow. Yeah. That's not fair for Kanye. I think he's fair. I mean, pretty when you've been dropped by a label and stuff like that, I think you're fairly an independent artist. No, he's definitively independent. I'm just saying usually that comes with a connotation that I don't think a billionaire really, you know, this is not the same for him and the kid on the come up.

I was going to play like the first song. Keep a few Jews on the staff now. I'm going to just black out. Keep a few Jews on the staff now. I was like, all right, this is going to be good. Dude. That is. Yo, you talk about fucking bulletproof.

The fact that he said all that, got dropped, came back. I was still talking about it and people were just like, fuck yeah, Kanye's back. He just said he likes Hitler. He didn't like fuck kids. You see he put everything on sale for 20 bucks? He actually did that. He's been talking about doing that forever. And I was always like, well, then, you know, fucking do it, Kanye,

because you're selling shirts for like $600. And then he went on and everything on Yeezy was actually $20. I'm sure there are people out there who paid secondary market prices for those sock shoe things. And then the next day it's $20 on Yeezy. You're probably like, fuck. I've been texting people about the album, and it's $20 on Yeezy you're probably like fuck I've been texting people about the album

and it's just like that fucking Diddy meme where it's like what else we got oh I yesterday went to a children's playground for the first time ever dude don't ever say that sentence again do me a favor you can have kids of your own don't ever

say the way you said that like i went to a children's playground. I was in the bushes. Gross. But so like my nephew, I basically just like call my sister every day. I'm like, can you wrestle yet? Call me when. He's getting wrestling age now. He's about a little over a year. Come on. What can I say?

No, he's not. It's like he was just born. Yeah, no, he can get wrestled now. Okay. He doesn't really fight back too much, but I can wrestle him now. So I went off to Connecticut, and we went to the park, and I might start hanging around children's parks. Okay.

Next, voicemails. Let's go. Because, oh, the confidence gives. Oh, the little butts. Should you stop it right now? The confidence boost you get from the parents there is unbelievable. What? Like you're happy about your life?

Just all of them look so miserable. Like it was – there were probably like six parents there and all of them looked like they just rolled out of the grave. And no one had on a button. No one had on. I was just dressed the way I was. Like, look at these fucking homeless assholes. I'm calling CPS on all

of you guys because clearly you do not care about life at all. Yo, I rolled calling CPS on all of you guys because clearly you do not care about life at all. Yo, I rolled off the red eye. I fucked myself so bad in Vegas. I originally thought there was going to be five days of radio. And so I asked Dave, I'm going to leave early on Friday. And he said, cool. And then I found out there was only three days of radio.

So I kind of felt like an asshole skipping one out of the three. And then I found out that our Bert and Tom interview was right in the middle of day two of radio. So I kind of felt like an asshole skipping one out of the three. And then I found out that our Bert and Tom interview was right in the middle of day two of radio. So I thought I was only going to be at one of the three days of radio. And this was after he made a big stink about making sure my face was on the poster. And I was like, fuck it.

I'm just going to change my flight, take the red eye home. I don't want any problems with, with Dave and radio. I don't want to become a storyline. It turns out he had bust some of the boys fill in and was like totally fine with it. Oh, you didn't do it at all? Nope.

Well, I mean, I could have, but I was like, it would be six people on stage. And I was like, I just chilled all day. So that wasn't the worst part. But there was a part where it was like four o'clock and I was like,

all right, we're almost there. And I was like, no, I'm seven hours away from my flight. We really did not plan this well. I hit the red-eye home, landed at like 7, got home, picked up my kids at like 9, and just went into dad mode. I probably saw you at the park, dude. I was going to say, if you saw me at the park,

I would have been the worst of the bunch in that gang. The park is... There's two types of parents at the park, and none of them are good. Three types of parents. There's the zombies you're talking about. Yeah. Then there's usually dads who just sit there on their phone. And it's just like...

They have no fucking idea what their kid is, what they're doing. The kids are ripping somebody's hair out or fucking falling off the thing they don't care they don't know and then there's the like the dads again usually who who play who like do shit and i'm i'm one of the ones who plays but it's like none of it's good i'm a grown man running around a fucking jungle gym i'm running up and down the you know the little the little bridge and they're going over the monkey bars it's like what am i fucking doing i'm a grown. But then there's the asshole who's just buried in his phone and his kid is being a total dick and

they're not there to be like, hey, cut it out. And then there are the people who are just like, death, please take me. Please, God, take me now. Leave them orphans. I can't do it anymore. It was crazy. This is always like this to my sister. She's a kind guy. This is nuts. No this To my sister And she's like Kinda This is nuts

Yeah No it's And those Those are like It was If it didn't make me feel so good It would be depressing There's another level

The people who don't even go to the park You know Those are Those are the motivated parents Yeah Who are sitting there like Then there are the ones at home Who are just you know

Eating mushrooms Drinking liquor Just letting their kids Do whatever the fuck they want No you've made You've made the right choice That's for sure That was just eating mushrooms, drinking liquor, just letting their kids do whatever the fuck they want. No, you've made the right choice. That's for sure. That was an interesting way to jump into that topic, though.

I've been hanging around. You talked about children's playgrounds for the past three episodes. Yeah, it's true. You got a lot of the out of order. You're talking about the playground. Yeah. I guess there's actually two. There's just two. There's two.

Well, it would still only be the second weirdest thing behind Josh Brolin's letter to Timothy Shelby. I forgot one other funny story. The Saturday, I went out with Nate. This isn't even a did I miss signs question. This is, look how impervious I am to signs. Oh, God. Me and Nate went out.

We watched Bruins and Caps played. So we went out to watch the game. And there was this bar called The Canuck, which is a good hockey bar on 9th. And it was pretty. It was an afternoon game. So it was pretty, like, quiet. so it was pretty like quiet but but also pretty full that makes sense like there were tables available but like for two they weren't so we sat at the table for six got it and towards the end of the game like seven women come in

and they were like do you guys mind like are you guys saving these seats? And we're like, no, you guys can have a table. They're like, no, no, no, we'll just sit with you. And we're like, no, it's fine. You guys can have the table. We'd feel bad keeping the money from the waitress. You guys take the table. They're like, no, no, no, it's cool. You guys just sit here.

And we're like, we'll get up and leave. They started sitting down. And to be fair, they were young. They were like down. And to be fair, like, they were young. They were, like, 22. And I was like, I'm not going to fucking sit. I was already mad about the Bruins. I was like, I'm not going to sit here with a bunch of 22-year-old girls. God forbid.

God forbid a hot young girl. They sit down, and I'm already, like, flagging them. I'm like, can I get my check, please? And then. They're sitting on my lap. I got to get out of here they sit down and one girl's like so who are we rooting for different teams and she's like okay

like the genuine like she's like you guys come here a lot? I was like, sometimes. And she goes, oh, oh, oh, I'm from Vegas. And I'm like, my check's coming now at this point. And me and Nate are standing up, and I just go, that town sucks. Dude, it's not even missing signs. You're just being a dick to these women. You probably walked out, and those girls were probably like, that guy is such a dick I was gonna fuck him too We were like laughing

And having like I wasn't being an asshole I was You know But I was like I was like I just got back from Vegas That town sucks

She's like Well half hour I'll make a half hour outside It's not even You're missing signs You're now actively Actively seeing them and dodging them Yeah

Nice try sweetheart You ain't fucking this dick It was very funny Then we went and just had the bar At what point do we think Fidelberg's actually gay Somebody recently It's funny how like fights is kind of always playing a gay guy yeah like at this point you really

you really are mac at this point at some point at some point it's like everybody knows except for vitalberg you're like that guy i was playing before you're like so what if i fuck a 23 year old at the bar like he's a hot dude it's okay if he's got a pretty face doesn't ask me about the game well you you have been vindicated with your timothy chalamet pick uh time and time again anybody who knows old tool kfc radio i actually this is a point for straight i think timothy's getting a little manly looking oh here's a take you will only hear timothy chalamet too masculine he's getting a little too hot a little too guy hot and i'm like you know what i really like about him i can't see that face on woman's body anymore i just saw that he's like a internet kid yeah i didn't know that he has like a ton of like old internet videos out and like old

like kind of like audition tapes and shit of him just like dicking around on the internet. Yeah. That's great.

He's just truly a product of his generation just being like, yeah man, I was just like fucking around on How old is he? He is 28.

Yeah, 28. It's like actually it's even a little older than I thought he was going to be. But perfect age to be the first thing he did when he was a teenager was probably make a Vine or a fucking YouTube or whatever. But I thought it was gay when Feidelberg said he would fuck him. Just straight up would fuck him.

With woman's parts. Yes. Excuse me. I thought it was gay when Feidelberg said he would fuck Timothee with woman's parts yes excuse me i thought it was gay when feidelberg said he would fuck timothy chalamet with a vagina but come to find out it's far less gay than what josh brolin did which is write a poem for timothy chalamet while on the set of Dune 2. And he says, I'll do a little dramatic reading here. And this is weird. This is gay and weird.

Your face is etched by adolescence. Your cheekbones jump towards what your youth-laden eyes that slide down a prominent nose and onto lips of a certain poetry. And the way you hold my gaze, if that ain't a little word play, the way you hold my gaze if that ain't if that ain't a little word play the way you hold my gaze makes me feel my own age because something in me tells me you're going to offer me something and for now i'm not sure it's going to be something i want anymore so actually this is josh brolin used to be gay. Yeah, yeah, yeah, right, right.

I would have fucked you. I would have fucked you in the past. He was like, damn, dude, if you caught me in 76, I'd suck that dick dry, dude. My wife told me no more. If you were on the movie set of, you know, fucking, I could see Brolin doing some gay damage back in the day on the set. Man, this is so fucking gay. This is so weird.

Did he, like, present it to him? I don't know. Did he perform it? Did he just tell the media about it? Because if somebody told me that my face is etched in adolescence, I'd be like, okay, pedophile. Your cheekbones... What is this clip, by the way?

I'm just rolling, just sucking down this... What is it? Popsicle? Looks like a chocolate popsicle. What is going on? Fudgicles. Jesus Christ. Yeah, that was... This is definitely one of the weirdest things

that I've ever heard from Hollywood. I think Timothee chalamet is you know probably all artsy and like wow it's amazing but i would love to have heard like i had some of the replies are great damn brolin really said i'm getting too old for bussy uh not every man would be so comfortable with their sexuality write a poem about another man's looks. Yeah. You know, I don't know. The Tucker Carlson memes are great.

I'm sorry, what? I'm sorry, what? So, yeah, Josh Brolin's gay. Should we get into voicemails? Simply Safe is the best way to protect all your loved ones and all your belongings. It's the number one home security system as far as I'm concerned. I see them everywhere we go. Now, this is another company that's been in the mix for a long time with us. And now you see it in

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Go to simplisafe.com slash KFC Radio. That's simplisafe, S-I-M-P-L-I, safe.com slash KFC Radio. There's no safe like SimpliSafe. Should we get into voicemails? Hey, KFC radio. My name is Kira. I love all of the Barstool radio content coming out recently. And I think I should be the next host of the show.

You've had the mean girls at Barstool. You've had the Taylor Swift girls. And now I think you need a nice girl. I'm a marketing and branding expert. So I will be great at highlighting all the amazing things Barstool is doing. You know, apart from the days that there's a drama. I'm from Ohio, so I really respect the hustle of Ohio State getting that full-time job. And I think honesty is the best policy, so I have no issue being a mediator and having a good, healthy conversation.

I'm good at handling people even like nate i can handle them all and really get a good conversation that i think would make great content for barstool all right i hope to talk to you more jackie what do you think she i can't i mean i didn't see her she says honestly the best policies are you coming on to me she was doing too many like the little like oh yeah jackie come look the the come here come over here jackie hey kfc radio my name is kira i love all of the barstool radio content coming out recently and i think i should be the next host of the show you've had the mean girls at Barstool. You've had the Taylor Swift girls.

And now I think you need a nice girl. I'm a marketing and branding expert. So I will be great at highlighting all the amazing things Barstool is doing. You know, apart from the days that there's a drama. I'm from Ohio. So I really respect the hustle of Ohio State getting that full-time job. And I think honesty is the best policy. So I have no issue being a mediator and having a good, healthy conversation. I'm good at handling people. Even like Nate, I can handle them all. Me and Fuddleburg look at each other at the exact same time every time. When you flood your eyes and go, I can handle them all.

No, wait, stay, stay, stay. She's doing it on purpose, right? Yeah. Come on, we know what's going on here When your head's floating Like I'm either like You're trying to fuck me Or sell me something

What do you think Like in terms of what I don't know What's your reaction to that Yeah I think I think when you stick here I don't know. What is your reaction to that? Yeah, I think when you stick here, it's a lot more comfortable than when I was behind there. She's really staring at me.

Very pretty eyes. There's so many people who do this where it's just like, I think Barstool needs me. Yeah, but I don't doubt that. I mean, if you're sending in, I think anything with Barstool, it's just like if you want it enough. That actually, I'm glad you said that. That's something, that's probably the number one thing that pissed me off the most with the Tate stuff.

Not from Tate. This is like I saw from like quote tweets or I don't know, people were like screenshotting comments or something like that. I saw a couple people who like screenshot. I think it was like comment section stuff. So I don't know how pervasive this belief is. But I saw a few times like people are mad at laziness or whatever because like you have a job we'd kill for. No, we don't.

No, we don't. No, we don't. Because if you would kill for this job you would just do it or you would at least be fucking trying there is there is no barrier of entry anymore that's just do it that's what i mean we're like dave does not care about your pedigree you're where you went clearly if you wanted the job or if you would do anything for the job go do it and again it might not be that pervasive a belief, but I saw people scream.

No, it is. That's always what it is. It's always that. And it's like you think that we won a lottery and just got handed it. It's like everybody here. Now, you get lucky. You get lucky breaks for sure. But you were doing a live stream or writing a blog

or doing something to be in the position when that luck occurred. I mean, Dave just sent a dm to ohio tate do you want a job do you want full time there is no uh structure there is no process that you have to go through that you can't oh i have to go through an agent i have to go through a studio i have to do this i do that nope nope nope nope nope none of that it is just if if you are good at this job or you could you could it's not even good it's like i'm not even everyone's desire yeah if you uh if you would do anything for you would have a blogger you'd have a podcast you'd have something and then and then you'd at least get a look they're they're the amount of people who say i'm gonna i see i see a lot of the DMs and emails and shit.

They're like, I'm going to send you all my content, and I'm not going to stop until you respond or I get a job or whatever. And they stop immediately. They stop fucking immediately because you do not realize how much the human mind or whatever needs some sort of reassurance or feedback or a pat on the back or whatever needs some sort of like a reassurance or feedback or a pat on the back or whatever and this job is almost entirely unless you're just a true rocket ship like super talent meteoric rise this job is so often like i'm just gonna keep doing this because i think it's good and i hope it works one day yeah or i think it might work one day and right now it's not but like 60 episodes from now maybe it will a year A year from now, maybe it will. And you just keep doing it. And the same people saying, I would be great.

I would kill. I want it. I'll do it. You give up after one podcast. You give up after two emails. You are like just making excuses. There's nothing stopping you from either doing it or certainly nothing stopping you from trying. So even this, I always just tell the people, it used to kind of be a little bit weird where I was like, set up a blog and pretend you're blogging for real.

But that was a little bit strange. I'm going to go start a WordPress and make this blog and pretend that everyone's reading it. But now we're all on social media media you kind of are all doing it and at least everybody at least at some point takes a shot at like i'm gonna make a funny video or i'm gonna try to write a funny caption or something so you're all all kind of doing it in some way and not doing it you know as a profession or not even trying to do it so don't fucking tell me that you would be good at it or you will be good at it or it's for you or you deserve it because you're not doing it and you don't it's crazy i also think it's like interesting that almost everybody at barstool who like works at barstool has like a story being like i knew i was gonna work at barstool

like before they did like i think like everyone to some extent like if you if you know what you're capable of of like handling barstool i don't know how to explain this then like you know that you can work there i'm not explaining this well but i i know what you're saying and i know a lot of people do say that it's easier to say once you work here yeah i was gonna say i feel like for the most part i mean maybe from the old old like like i actually don't know many people who do say i i was like in high school i was like i'm going to work yeah yeah that's right um but the but that's easier for me to say now that i work here yeah i wouldn't tell fucking anyone that if i was don't get me wrong selling insurance if i if i had to do if i had to like get a job here today i probably

wouldn't be able to yeah like to stand out now it is different because like i said ever said that since like our personal idol right like i can't i'm not doing stand-up comedy i can't act like john i can't do like the videos that are like you know uh like mega viral because you're just like got this wacky you know unique thing like i'm just a regular dude. So I'm not, you know, I'm not saying it's easy, but it's hard out there. But it's at the same time equally as open. You know what I mean? So it's a very strange dynamic of like there's a ton of competition, but zero barriers of entry. Because literally every single day on YouTube, somebody is going viral with their channel.

Like every time I'm like, man, we're so late to the youtube game like we are but we're also not because there's a guy who started his youtube channel a year ago who has two million subscribers because you get in the algorithm people like it and it goes it's the most kind of democratic meritocracy type shit there is um so there's nothing stopping you you And then like you know whatever this girl Seems great maybe she can do a bunch of stuff But like just saying it doesn't Mean anything It's like I would be great Oh okay you're hired like you know you gotta like do it

Show why Dude I drug beers I love chicks I crush pussy I like sports I bust balls I'd be great for Barstool. You're two misses to start. I was going to say, none of us do that. None of us do that.

None of us do that. So it's more like I'm an internet nerd. I worry about my followers and my traffic. And I'm deeply insecure. You're hired. All right, next up. What's up, guys? Just got a quick question.

Rocking the brain right here. So do you guys think 250 trained Navy SEALs could get the ring to Mordor? They don't have fighter jets. They don't have anything like that. They just got their weapons. They got to walk. They got to take the journey like the hobbits did and everyone. But do you think they could destroy the ring, successfully take on all the orcs, take on Sauron?

Super dorky, but can't stop watching the movie. I mean, I understand. I guess they had the help of a wizard, but five midgets got the ring to Mordor. Now, I don't know the movies all that well. My apologies to Jacob Lauko. So it's hard for me to say. It feels obviously a lot like the Harry Potter question, which I am much more well well versed in um i don't i don't know the obstacles that they ran i mean you you know you're just up against like a army of like a million orcs and million sounds like a lot it's

a lot it is a lot but like again like dwarfs and and and elves like could fight them so like i think i mean i'm assuming they get modern they get their weapons there's their seal team so like and elves could fight them. So I think... I mean, I'm assuming they get their weapons. They're seal teams. So if you give seal teams automatic weapons... I actually read a thread recently... The thing about it is, back in the day, war was just like, line up all the orcs

and line up all the dwarves and we just run at each other with axes and whoever... Seals are gonna be sneaking around the fucking mountains like you don't even know we're out there we're getting frodo to the mountain without you know before we even know you're in our town so that is kind of how how the seals operate once if there was like just a million orcs coming at them and you only have limited uh ammo and you don't have a wizard to eventually like you know throw his staff out there and like zap the gang uh yeah like like uh so i i mean i guess they they riled up they rile up a yeah so if it's the army i was like out there then if they if i

imagine the seals don't get to convince the army to fight. Yeah. Okay. So if you're talking, it's just like eventually I think they rile up like all of men. Like men. But I don't know. I didn't watch this tonight. I looked good.

Have you never watched The Little Mermaid? I think I saw like the first one when I was a kid. We probably went to it. So it's kind of like there's a dwarf, an elf, a man, a wizard. So it's like all the different types come together. And the men are kind of like down and out. I said men like humans are like, you know, we can't do this. And he rallies the humans to fight for them.

How many are there? How many what? Oh, it's a three. It's a trilogy, right? Oh, movies? Yeah. The Two Tower, the second one is maybe the best movie of all time really yeah lord of the rings i mean you know you gotta you gotta be down with some nerdy shit i i can get down there yeah there's something about something like harry potter yeah it's a little different though this is

this is nerd shit harry potter's like pop culture nerd this is like nerd shit man we're talking you know he made an entire language an entire world it's it's you know it's crazy nerd level but i mean the books are fucking fire you should read the books to be honest uh but tolkien is jr uh jr r tol J. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, I'm going to mix up with J.K. Rowling. J.R.R. Tolkien must have been the biggest loser. I mean, dude, like, literally created an entire world of, like, lands and languages and species and all this shit. There's maps and... None of it's real. It's all fucking made up.

It's all... Imagine being like i'm gonna write a book and it's gonna be about wizards and and knights and all that shit but first i've got to write an entire language yeah because the elf has to speak elvish and the dwarf has to speak dwarf like that is so fucking crazy i actually it's funny this comes up because watching uh twitter during the Super Bowl last night, I saw a meme that I thought was funny and I didn't totally get because it was Lord of the Rings. And it was the screenshot of Taylor, Ice Spice, and Jason Kelsey talking.

And it was like whatever the elf character is was Taylor. Jason Kelsey was the guy with the hammer, the little guy with the beard. Yeah, the dwarf. And I was like, I don't really get this but it's funny i mean it it is uh in my opinion can go toe-to-toe with probably any trilogy ever i would i would say that very confidently yeah or movies it is the the uncut versions are like four hours long it It's crazy. But I mean, so I guess, you know, sheer numbers, no. Because it's taking entire, you need like an entire army. I guess I'm just thinking more though. And it's like, there are times, there's wars where they need like armies, right?

But like a lot of it is just them traveling. Like they have to walk to fucking Mordor. So they're like, you know, traveling through the mountains, and they're traveling through the forests, and there's, like, and it's just, like, them getting through the terrain and the animals and the monsters and the towns and shit. And I think if you had 250 seals, you would just roll through that part. But eventually, if you go up against Sauron and all of the orcs,

like, it's just a numbers game. But I don't know, 300, like, those guys, you know's just a numbers game but i i don't know 300 like those guys you know 250 is pretty damn close i don't know i feel like i feel like it would be a little different too if like those orcs come rolling at you and you're just like and you're just like mow them down they're like well wait a minute that's not gonna work i'm not gonna i'm not gonna keep running at those guys yeah but i guess eventually you run out of ammo but that first round of like well the first three rows of guys all just got wiped out by some fucking weapon we've never seen before you know yeah the i i i read a thread that was about like how long you

would last he has a roman century and it was all like not really like because you run out of ammo you wouldn't yeah in about like i don't know like because how many of those wounds will be fatal how many of those wounds are just clipping a leg and they're still running at you because they got all the adrenaline like they're getting to you pretty fucking quick and then they just yeah and these are literal monsters right like you know some of them there's like a there's these regular orcs but then there's one that's like 10 feet tall and he's like the boss orc and all that sort of shit um but i don't know like if five midgets and a couple chicks can get the job done i'm gonna go with america usa

hey what up everybody hey um so i've had this thought for a long time if we like domesticated dogs from wolves and cats from like i don't know like tigers or whatever why were bears not domesticated and like you know why don't we have little bears it's a great question which leads me to like a thing that i've also been thinking about if you could pick any animal to be the size of like a mid-sized dog and it would be like perfectly trained like just the best pet that you could ever imagine like would do like follow all the commands all that shit what animal would it be it's a correct answer to that question. And I also just got back from fishing, so I think a fish might be cool. Never mind, no, it wouldn't.

It'd be stupid because then you could only play with it in water. Yeah, that's a terrible question. It could be like an elephant down to the size of a medium-sized dog, just perfectly trained, or like an ant up to a medium-sized dog and then just be perfectly trained. No bugs. I don't know. What do you think?

The correct answer is panda bear. Panda is a good one. You could have a panda and he could just kind of walk around with you. They already kind of do that as is. You know, you ever see pandas fucking around with bamboo? Yeah, yeah. They're just kind of human-like. And it's like if I could just guarantee that you won't rip my face off,

we can hang out. Awesome. No bugs. No, definitely no bugs. I guess if guarantee that you won't rip my face off, we can hang out. Awesome. No bugs. No, definitely no bugs. I guess if you had a flipper sort of situation, like if you lived in a beach town and you're at the dock and your boy could swim up to you, I don't know, that could be cool. That's kind of nice, yeah. But you want to have him around all the time. Mini giraffe from that Geico commercial was a hit.

Well, any animal that's remotely obscure is going to be a hit every time. In college, my buddy had a baby goat. Oh, my God. It was fishing a battle. I'm thinking about getting ducks. You get fucking loving this club on the dance floor. You bring them home to the hitch. And there's a fucking baby goat

Oh my god I'm surprised you didn't get married I'm surprised you didn't have multiple wives in college It was easy breezing What did you say? I'm thinking about getting ducks Really? Yeah there's these ducks that kind of like Come kill them

Stand upright Yeah we know you can't kill ducks You'd be running around my backyard with a shotgun just missing them There are these ducks that stay for the winter they're a little more like rugged and as long as you like feed them and kind of give them like a little bit of a like a chicken coop kind of thing like a duck duck house they'll like stay i'm thinking about doing that bro i think it'd be kind of cool for my kids if they had ducks running around their childhood you will be tony soprano so fast. Kevin's going to get ducks and be in therapy in two years the moment they fly away.

Just walking in, what's her name, in Breaking Bad when she walks in fully dressed into the pool. Yeah, that would be me. My ducks. They're runner ducks is what they're called. You've seen them. They're built really weird.

They stand upright. Indian runner ducks. A koala, you said? Koala with their... No, I said panda. Oh, you spanked. Koala's got the chlamydia thing going on yeah i'm not gonna fuck them they're not the roadrunner the uh it really is anything a pig pig be sick

pig is great because they're also pigs are really smart you know and if you could like you can actually you can just do that with a pig. Yeah. So that's kind of a- Pig, I think you can do it with anything. In fact, like, I don't know that we domesticated tigers and made cats. Like, cats existed in ancient Egypt. Like- Yeah, but, yeah. I think-

So you think there was just a breed of cat that was always small? I think so. Wolves and dogs make sense, I think. I think wolves and dogs are probably pretty. I think we like to tell ourselves that. Let's Google this. Let's do a Pat Googles. Because it makes humanity feel cooler and more in control.

But I just think there were smaller versions of them. I'm sure somewhere along the line breeding happened, obviously, with Labradoodle. I still think it's under the radar that that guy says it's his life's greatest mistake is invent creating that all those dogs are all fucked up it's funny that you say that because i just saw that um charlotte the stingray is wait is it charlotte hang on let me find this yes charlotte the stingray has been impregnated by a shark oh yeah i thought it was a flashlight so she actually got fucked by this shark and it's called parthonogenesis, where, yeah, you can just catch some male shark sperm,

and eventually your body will just create a stingray shark. So even that, that's not domestication, that's rape. No, I think she raped him him she has not been around any male stingrays in 12 to 14 years and then i think a shark got in there she was like i'm getting some dick life uh finds a way yeah so like like even the so he's a big girl the stingray charlotte is a big um who wanted some dick even using this argument like like i, like, I think to be domesticated, the humans have to do it. Well, correct, but I'm saying

this is how some weird shit starts. So, one baby that lived 30 days outside of Yang. So, Charlotte is going through a very rare process called parthenogenesis. That is when eggs develop on their own without fertilization

and create a clone of their mother. Life really does find a way. So, it's not even a shark so no but then so they noticed that uh charlotte had bite marks on her body which is how sharks fuck they bite get a little marv albert on you um and so they think she's been bit up by a shark and she's pregnant. It's probably a shark. But I guess there also could be. No, I think parthenogenesis is the egg. The egg. Yeah.

So I guess they'll find out. I guess they're going to find out. I guess they'll find out whether it comes out as a stingray or a sting shark. So shout out to Charlotte. Cats and lions, Pavs. Not much. Pavs is so dumb. Not much.

Don't we have the same amount of DNA as an onion? I think 5% off is a big deal, I think, though. I don't know. Wait, what did you say? You said we have the same DNA as an onion. Maybe it's not DNA. We have the same. I don't think we have the same DNA as an onion, bro.

I'm going to throw the flag on that. I'm challenging that one. There's something that like onions like. I'm going to find it. Human DNA onions. Let I'm challenging that one. There's something that onions... I'm going to find it. Human DNA onions. Let's see what that Google brings. It has 4.99 times as much DNA as a human genome. Okay, that's what it is.

They have way more DNA. We don't share the same, but they just have more. Okay, but that's very different. I don't even know same, but they just have more or something like that. Yeah, okay, but that's very different. I don't even know what having more or less DNA means. We're more complex beings than we are. That's like, yo, look at all this DNA I got, girl. I got so much DNA.

I'm an onion. I don't know the answers to this. You know what we're going to get is somebody to call in. We'll have some animal specialist call in because, you know know what we've been getting is a lot of catheter specialists a lot of nurses and doctors talking about all the ways and i was told that um my idea for like the the face mask cup sort of thing that exists they do that yeah but they said it's a mess that it's same sort of thing it's got a seal and that still has you know pubic hair issues and all that shit so they said it's usually it's all it's all just a fucking mess so i mean we'll find out

uh from all of our like you know some sort of zoo zoologist callers i've found that there is somebody in every field that listens to kfc radio every question we've ever had that we've been stupid about has been answered or addressed or something from our listeners at some point that can offer some clarity so uh anybody who's watching stingrays and sharks fuck anybody who's you know knows the history of tigers and cats uh let us know because if if it is a matter of domesticating we should just start start with the bears and in like 500 years you could have a little teddy bear you could have ted at your house welcome future us yeah exactly like if i could time travel that's what i would do i'd go back in time like yo see the bears start petting them start feeding them 2020 2024 it'll be awesome

you could hang out with them in your house. All right. We'll see you guys. Before we wrap, look at the out of order group chat with Dante's. Oh my God. Are you guys going to have him in a skit soon? You almost have to do, you almost have to write like a skit that's making fun of him that he doesn't realize it.

Dante's Instagram away message.'m for ursure ursure what's more when we leave some bed all right uh let's get into our interview we got got Bert and Tom. The homies are back. Two bears launching their new vodka. Got their own new, brand new liquor company. So Poro, we shared a couple cocktails, told some stories. Tom learned about the origin of Saturdays for the Boys. Bert cried. It was a whole fucking scene. So it's two bears and KC Radio in Vegas

Let's do it We have booze Do you have booze? I want your booze Yeah, yeah, yeah Can I, can I Are you drinking? Yeah

Are you really? I don't drink a lot anymore But I'll have a drink How well do you know Tommy? How well do I know Tommy? This time? Yeah Pretty well

I mean I think he's been on the show a lot Yeah I haven't hung out off air So you understand that like So in this dynamic You're him, I'm him, right? Yes. Right, right, right, right.

Okay, good. Because, you know, when you quit drinking, you quit drinking for a period of time. Last time I was in the studio and I was like, what a bummer. And then when I quit drinking, I was like, oh. Well, there was always, I feel like you kind of were like the barometer. I remember, I think, Feidelberg was saying, as long as Bert's still going, I can go. And then Gillis was saying, as long as Feidelberg's going, I can still go. So it's this domino down.

We all ended up off the tracks. How long did you stop drinking for? Well, I stopped hard for like three months. That's the number. Anyone listening right now, fuck a month. Three months is the number. You really see that. Because it resets

It resets your calibers Yeah It really does Yeah And then since Even since then though I've like I'll have a couple beers here

A wine here I mean I'm not drinking Like I used to drink Yeah And by the way It turns out it makes you A lot happier And you feel better

It's a weird thing That's crazy That was a good move Yeah That was a smart decision But I mean Porosos is an occasion, so let's... Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey.

I have to say this. So, look, I'm old school Barstool legend guy. So you know the phrase for the boys was started by Futterbug, right? No. Yeah. He's an OG. He started for the boys. Yeah, then Will and Taylor stole it.

Yeah, yeah. Yeah, and they don't even know they stole it. Saturdays with the Boys is you. It is entirely you. Really? Fucking so cool. It's the coolest thing. I started saying it.

You know, my daughter started wearing the sweatshirts, and I started saying it just with my girls, and I loved it. And then we were all hanging out, I think, in Amsterdam, and you told me that, and I was like, shut the fuck up. That's so crazy. It's such a great broad stroke of the way guys want to hang out.

And, you know, our vodka is called Porosos for the bears. I love that. There's a subtle nod. I didn't say this to anyone. We launched it. We came up with a name. We wanted to do a couple different names. And we worked on the names.

Thomas Peruvian. We wanted to incorporate a little Spanish into a little Russian mafia, right? I didn't make that. I saw the bear in the Russian. These are the different ways you feel as a bear. You could be this guy. You could be this guy. Which one are you?

I'm a tongue-out guy. Yeah, I'm a tongue-out guy. Which one are you? I'm probably teeth out, yeah. And so we were in the meeting, and they were like, porosos. And everyone loved it. And I did not say a fucking word. I sat back and I went, you know what?

There's going to be a day where I'm going to reveal that I knew in that meeting, ultimately it's for the boys. It's for the bears. And I was like, I'm going to say thank you. Thank you. All right. I like that, man. Thank you for being you.

Thank you. And you've never you've never been cunty about this phrase has taken over shane gillis's uses it more than anyone george kittle christian mccaffrey all these guys are all for the boys and and uh and i've just always loved that you just sat in the cut and you were like i did something cool yeah that's the i i honestly think that i honestly because i don't think i really did it like i did something cool yeah that's the i i honestly think that i honestly because i don't think i really did it like i think it it you know we came up with it but like it's it was so good did it come up in a meeting or how did it no no i was out at a bar this is true like

viral shit let's see let's see tell me i know these guys so much better than you do i'm about i'm about to have them tell yeah you went to fucking europe with them i'm about to have them tell one of the best stories you've ever heard in your entire fucking life okay okay so i was at a bar in newport rhode island and get fucked up friday night and um this like newport's a fishing town like a sailing town if you don't know that well it's like around the water and this guy who just looks like he worked the docks his whole life he was standing at the bar it was a fairly packed bar and he kind of like stood up and went gentlemen fridays are for the men but saturdays are for the boys i mean my buddy's like that's awesome and we started going crazy and i still don't really know what it means to be honest but wait but wait how did it how did it get back to

like so i just tweeted that story i was like some old dude at the bar just stood up and tweeted, said fries and mentions. And did the tweet go viral? The tweet, we actually just talked about this with Leanne. The tweet honestly didn't go that viral. I mean, it did. It was not like mega viral. No. It got a lot of interaction.

It got some traction. But is there a, you know, a Monday meeting? No. Well, not yet. Our barstool at that time was so small that it was all individual shit. This is like 2015 14, 15

this is when they're all still bloggers yeah this is OG this is before he got this fucking smart sports coach this is like I mean look at this guy

I'm doing a dozen show tonight a halftime show I like it by the way it looks sharp thank you very much you look really good

all blacks are slimming it looks good except when you see them. You look really good. All blacks are slimming. It looks good. Except when you see them on cocks. Black cocks are so big. Shout out to Drake. Keep going. Oh, wait. We got to get that in a second.

You got a cock segment? Yeah, of course. Okay. But so the next Saturday morning, woke up with a bunch of people just tweeting gifs at me, like Braveheart type stuff. Yeah, sure. For the boys. And then me and my buddy started doing, again, not super viral moments, but things for the boys.

We went cliff jumping, and we'd just jump off screaming, for the boys. And we went skydiving, and we'd scream, for the boys. And these Saturdays in a row. Then Kevin got us a helicopter, and we went on the beach in Newport, and we had seaweed spelled out, Saturdays for the boys. Then we rented a yacht, and we were just throwing girls off the top screaming size of the boys yeah a bunch of a bunch of beautiful chicks and they were like get them out of here it's for the boys and then from there like it was like that first month of kind of like building a little bit and then from there it was fucking but it's my favorite story people in the company have to be like no we're in well

so here this is my favorite part this is the best part, Tom, is our T-shirt guy reaches out to John and is like, this is something. Let's make some T-shirts. And Portnoy is like, this is a stupid idea. This is so dumb. And they made a Saved by the Bell logo, but it's for the boys. And the T-shirts just take off. And then it goes real viral. Not like viral like, like you know we got a bunch of retweets like bill clinton saying saturdays for the boys all of a sudden adam sandler like people are just at movie premieres i would say it all the

time right right if you had a football and a jet ski on a dock what are saturday are for? The boys Saturdays are for the boys I got two fucking Moron daughters And then I mean It really It bought It bought our first office In New York basically Really?

Yeah I always thought That was related to like College football Like Saturdays Nope You're looking at the guy right here It was about booze

I love A good origin story You know what's so funny about this is that Tom doesn't really like bossing with the boys, guys. No? No. You're not a big fan? I can see that.

There are a lot. And you're not, you know. He said to me, he goes, bro, can we please do KFC first? I do not want to do them first. They fucked us again. They did this to us last time with Tom. They talked for five hours, and then we get like 20 minutes. Yeah.

Let's pour these out. Let let's get okay I was trying to get so I was trying to get a by the way my diet's broken today and this KFC looks so fucking good I had two Cuban sandwiches ribs oh you had the Cubans downstairs at the chef cafe at the chef truck yeah so we did a we did a episode with Roy Choi for something's burning random as fuck like as fun as your origin story is tom and i have known roy choi for like 25 years it's pretty crazy and so we knew him before koge taco trucks okay he changed the landscape of of food in the world i would argue definitely in america and uh me and tom known him since before he was famous he just lived next door to me in an apartment and so we went down there and he was famous. He just lived next door to me in an apartment. And so we went down there, and he was like,

I'd love to take you to Jon Favreau and my truck, chef truck. We went. I have not had bread in seven fucking months. How cool is that? And I had two Cuban sandwiches. I had two Cuban sandwiches and a grilled cheese. And Tom and I still have a grilled cheese in my fucking... A grilled cheese sandwich?

Oh, what? Oh, what? All day, every day. I was going to be a rapper or something. You got a nude? You got to know this. Everybody was like, give that to me. And he was like, no, I'll put it in my pocket. And everyone was like, don't do that. And he goes, no, but I'll eat it

later after I've been drinking. And we were like, just don't do that. Just put it in the trash. And he insisted on putting it in his pocket. And to further the analogy of these two are the same and we're the same. We're walking through the airport like a couple weeks ago. John reaches into his coat pocket and pulls out eggs. Hard boiled, a bag of hard boiled eggs. Bro, if you have a good restaurant buffet.

It's so disrespectful. It's so disrespectful. Good restaurant buffet. It's so disrespectful. It's so disrespectful. Good restaurant buffet. It is. And he did it like this. He tried to like, he was like, he knew he was doing something dirty. He's like, you're disgusting. And that wasn't the first time I've been caught with food in my pocket.

Yeah, you're a pocket food guy. Pocket food's not bad. Tommy and I went to a soccer game. Yes. With his like Austin friends, you know like dennis or whatever they were fucking ceo and uh he was like yo let's not go full burt like what do you mean there's no hot dogs in the pockets and i was like they're already in my pockets they're already wrapped up don't embarrass

me in front of my cool friends man come on he had three hot dogs in his pocket and i was like, they're already in my pocket. I put hot dogs in my pocket. They're already wrapped up. That's like, don't embarrass me in front of my cool friends, man. Come on. He had three hot dogs in his pocket, and I was like, Jesus Christ, man. The best is we're in the elevator, and some guy looks at Tommy, and he goes, hey, man, I'm a fucking big fan. Tom goes, oh, thanks. He goes, you're the machine, right? And Tom starts laughing.

He goes, no. It's the guy with the hot dogs in his pocket. He looks over, and he goes and he goes oh shit that's you we got mixed up you ever have moments where you do something there's a particularly awful television character what's that say again?

when there's a particularly despicable TV character and you just start finding yourself acting like him a lot who have you been doing this with? Frank Reynolds I do Frank Reynolds a lot. He's a big pocket food guy. He's got sausage in his pockets. He's got all kinds of shit.

Which one do you want to see? Pete's a big... Pete introduced me to Always Sunny. It's so good. Are you new to it? I've never seen it. It delivers. You could make the argument it's the new. I've never seen it. Oh, it's a great show. It delivers. Dude, I've never seen it.

You could make the argument it's the funniest. I don't know, dude. Season five of Fargo is the best fucking thing. It's very good. It is very good. I'm not fully through it yet, but holy shit. Hands, maiden, tail. Fargo delivers almost every season. Hands, maiden, tail?

You mean a hands, maiden? Guys, for the boys. For the boys. Wait, are we going to buzz button? Do you want to do it? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, hold on, hold on. You were saying.

Hold on. So we've saved this. Okay. Because Tom, I was like, we should do a buzz to the boys. He was like, ugh. He was like, those guys, I don't want to do it.

So we got these things called buzz buttons. What are they called, Tommy? Yeah, buzz buttons. Buzz buttons. This looks dangerous. You guys know what they called, Tommy? Yeah, buzz buttons. Buzz buttons. This looks dangerous. You guys know what opiates are? Yeah. By the way, Tom tells my wife he did heroin today.

And my wife's like, Tommy, when? He's like, when I was 36. She goes, I knew you when you were 36. How was it? It was fucking amazing. Yeah, it was good. It's the best. Did you ever go back? It was fucking amazing. It's the best. As advertised, it delivers.

There's a reason why, you know. Let me tell you something, man. There's a reason why people die doing it. It's fucking incredible. What do we do? One time and you're out? Nah. So these buzz buttons, what they do is they completely.

This is my sixth of the day. These completely change your palate. So what's going to happen is we're going to chew these up, okay? You eat them. You eat them. You'll feel your mouth... Is this the heroin? No, no, no, no, no.

I fucking wish. I got some shit coming tonight. But you'll chew this up. Your mouth's going to change. The feeling in it, your palate changes. And then we're going to drink. It's going to change. The feeling in it, your palate changes. And then we're going to drink. It's going to change the way it tastes. So what you need to remember is much like a hot pepper.

And it's not hot. There's a similar instance in that what is beautiful about this is it doesn't allow your brain to be in the moment. It forces your brain to be in the moment in that you are only here. And then that allows you to really enjoy the drink. Tell me that one. Where is this from? No, this is from China. Okay.

China. All right. You're not fucking with us, right? Watch us do it. We're going to do it together. It feels like I've done this before. Chew it? Chew it.

I'm chewing it up. Move it around. Chew it on both sides. Yeah, both sides. It's going to... I'll tell you. Yeah, I think it'll come in, right? It gets way worse.

Uh-huh. Whoa. Yeah. It gets way worse. Yeah. But your mouth's changing, right? I like it. You're not going to like it in a second.

No. It's going to start buzzing, right? Now pick your drinks up. I think this is going to be good with a cocktail Exactly Cheers Cheers Cheers

The drink makes it go away a little bit That's amazing It gives it like a It gets real tart There it comes There it comes Nice Nice

Who's back to drinking heavy? Get in the bottle. I haven't even started yet. And it keeps going? All right. Why don't we do some mushrooms with it? Yeah. I don't know if mushrooms and buzz buttons are the thing we're supposed to do.

As soon as you guys started pulling pocket stuff out, I was like, I got fucking chocolates in here. Oh, shit. I can't. I got to have dinner with offensive linemen tonight. You want to play one? Yeah, I do. Pop it in that pocket.

I'm going to put it in my zen. Have him take mine. Can I get... Is that cool if I grab one for Tommy? Hell yeah. That was a fucking productive five minutes, folks. Yeah, there you go. have them take mine can I get is that cool if I grab one for Tommy yeah hell yeah that was a fucking productive five minutes folks yeah there you go

that's how you do it you feel it on the top of your mouth if you give it a second bro I feel it all over so there's a lot of foods yeah it changes the flavor

the dynamic of the flavor yeah and we want to sell these buzz buttons with our vodka yeah I was gonna say because it's a fun you're forced to be

in the moment where'd you get the idea from what the buzz buttons yeah here uh we were at the uh what was it cosmo cosmo yeah we're at the cosmo and like right now this trip yeah yeah the bartender there made us a drink made us a few drinks and then he was like i got one special off-menu drink and first he was like eat this buzz button first and it was a whole it was so fun i was like can we have something he gave me like fucking 40 he's gonna say you got a big bag of that yeah yeah yeah it's that it that would be a game changer if you can package it or but the vodka honestly i can't wait for you to try it on its own yeah and even room temp because then you

really then you get the real flavor what it is i'm actually i was when i was drinking a lot i was more of a whiskey guy yeah but vodka is what i would drink like here's the thing vodka has to be high quality to enjoy at room temperature you cannot drink a shit vodka room temperature right impossible right it's a fucking freeze it but this shit i'm telling you i know it's we're gonna have to have you try some before we split room temperature. Is that room temperature right now? Yeah.

So I'll say this. When we started the – and I know this sounds like pitchy. When we started the vodka, I think Tom wanted to do whiskey. We said this casually, candidly, but we said, you know, we got a bunch of our boys are doing whiskeys. Mark Norman, Sam Rowe, Bernie Schaub. I think Rogan may one day come out with a whiskey. He works with Pablo Trace.

Whiskey is weird, man. Whiskey is like high school pussy. Once you had it, that's your thing. Yeah. Right? It's like I'm not going away from Jameson. Is your thing high school pussy? Buddy.

Okay. There's some high school pussy that I had in high school. Seniors. We're talking about seniors. When I was in high school. When you were in high school pussy that I had Seniors, we're talking about seniors When I was in high school When you were in high school High school pussy when I'm in high school But it's also like high school pussy

Late graduates Held behind a year And they're moved from a different country English is second language They're 22 High school pussy was fucking awesome It was awesome. I miss it.

I didn't get any high school pussy. Did you really not? Nope. Well, I did. I forgot about it. What do you mean? What is that? I was drunk in Spain and I had sex when I was 16 and I forgot about it.

You were 16? Yeah. But then I didn't. Like on a short trip or a long trip? I was there for a summer with like studying abroad. Did you get laid by a Spaniard or someone from the- No, a local girl from URI. From where?

University of Rhode Island. I was taking college classes. Gross. By the way, by the way, I already have a- Everyone close their eyes and picture this girl. I'm like, redhead. She played field hockey. Picture her more mousy than you're picturing.

That was your first time? First time, but then I so forgot about it that I didn't have sex again for three years. So the next time was in college? Next time was in college, and for a long, long, long time, like for 20 years, 15 years, I was like, I didn't lose my virginity until I was 19. He remembered it on the podcast. He was like, wait a minute.

No, I had sex when I was 16. I was like, what? Yeah. How do you forget? When did you lose your virginity? 15, 16. 15, 16? I had an older girlfriend. I was a sophomore. She was a senior Yeah, I was fucking baller too. Yeah, it was pretty cool. It's always the reverse

Yeah, you were a sophomore. Yeah, and she was a senior. Yeah, what how long you date? Like a couple years you had to have some game for that, too. I guess so we met I We met doing a play yeah i was playing i was i don't know you fucked a dude yeah no no that's right it was a funny story that kind of worked to my advantage i was playing basketball and my basketball coach was oddly like a very big theater guy too that is odd and he he like recommend it is right yeah very odd and like uh we gotta get you into this triangle offense and shakespeare's basically he was like he was like you can leave practice like a little

early for this but fucking one in a million she was she was uh he was your coach she was like the lead and i was the theater guy at my high school was like why don't you take a football season off to do theater and i was like are you out of your mind like you know how violent that will be in my life sorry so wait so she's like the lead and we're you know doing like uh play practice and whatever that's called rehearsals and shit i don't know i only did one that was the only time i ever did anything in theater so uh yeah we met and like started that's crazy i honestly i don't know I only did one That was the only time I ever did anything in theater So uh Yeah we met and Like started That's crazy

I honestly I don't think I've ever heard of a A male Sophomore dating the senior girl That's crazy It was cool How old were you Tommy? She was

She was Good 16, 17? Yeah Wait why is everyone doing two numbers? I know my number was 17 17 Okay 17

I just know I was sophomore year And I said that's when you're 15 and 16 So I don't know 17 17 It was in my bedroom It was a mess 17 I just know I was sophomore year. That's what you're 15 and 16, so I don't know It was in my bedroom Did you kill her is she know, throw it in there? No. No.

No, I laid on my back, and I was like, the fuck is going on? Oh, so you had blood all over you. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, my God, Tom. That's a pretty harrowing experience for a 15-year-old. I was like, no, this is cool. Hold on.

I'm 50. You don't know anything. You're just covered in blood? So much blood. Rock on, Tennessee. I have AIDS. Was this a one-time thing or a girlfriend? It was my girlfriend.

And then did it keep happening? No. Tommy, is this a girl I know? You've never met this person. But I know the girl? I guess. Is this the big one? Yeah, sure.

Oh. Big as in what? Six five? No, no, no, no, no. She's taking basketball all the time. Tommy's had some fucking high profile chicks. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. That her?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Wait, so back then, young, and then became high profile? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Really? Drop it, drop it high profile Drop it drop it drop it We'll bleep it No no no don't bleep it We'll bleep it if you I'll tell you later

By the way this whole You don't trust us This whole story is so good All of it I hate that I know secrets Because the secrets are so much better than what we do here. Yeah. Yeah, yeah.

This is a good one. This is a good one. Can you tell anything about her? No. Industry? No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. No, I mean like what industry? What are we talking about?

I can't. You can't. It's so specific. It's very specific. And by the way, by the way, still a fucking dime. Still a fucking. I follow her on Instagram. Sorry.

Go to the list. Go to the list. That's how Brady's Instagram got found out. Elvin was like, he follows me. I got very lucky, though. I was very lucky. Yeah, apparently. No, no.

I mean, I was always lucky that I always dated like. Like, I never had like a shitty girl. Ugly girl. I just mean lucky that I always dated, like, I never had, like, a shitty girlfriend. Like an ugly girl? I just mean, like, I always dated, like, high character, like, really, like, you know. Good for you. What were they thinking? I don't know what the fuck was wrong with them. No, he used to be very attractive.

No, for real. So you're now, you're attractive, but, like, in the day, he was, like, a goon three in Griselda. Like, you know, like, the day, he was like Goon 3 and Griselda. Like, you know, like the fucking... Okay. He was striking. He got the humor going for you, too, obviously. No, not then, not then. Oh, no, you weren't funny then.

Not then. All right. He had to get funny. He didn't have to be funny, yeah. Fat guy said to be funny. I had a moment. No, no, I had a moment. But I'm saying, like, i really was lucky in that and

you know i mean like you you your friends as you grow older people tell you these stories about like just nightmare girlfriends or yeah yeah brother how much time you got yeah yeah yeah i i'd never had i mean the only time it was ever very brief was because like if i went out with somebody and i was like like i'm saying personality wise right right i would not go on a second or so you've never been caught up in like i've never had a toxic toxic like we should definitely not do this anymore but we keep fucking and never never buddy he's like let me tell you it takes years off your life though like in life yeah he's he's really astute and like drama and like i don't want to get too into the weeds on stuff, but, like, in times where things are things I would have said fucking hard yes to,

Tom would pull me aside quietly and go, Yeah, don't do that. Like, yeah, oh, yeah. You need that guy. Where the fuck was that guy when you were doing heroin? Yeah. Let me tell you something. Heroin gets a pass.

Heroin is absolutely astonishingly good. I feel like once you're 80, or in my case, like 70, just load me up with heroin. We are exaggerating. I did Dilaudid. Oh, come on. Dilaudid? Oh, they Dilaudid. Everybody was rolling a bone here and there.

Me too. So the thing. You know, it was me too. So the thing is, I got it after. But when you're in the hospital and they give you Dilaudid, at first, because they give you pain pills, and they're like, how are you feeling? I'm like, fucking, my pain's at a 10. Yeah. And they're like, we're going to give you Dilaudid.

And they go, by the way, we don't have anything else. This is it. This is the max. Right. There's nothing above this. Right. And you're like, we're going to give you Dilaudid. And they go, by the way, we don't have anything else. This is it. This is the max. Right. There's nothing above this. Right. And you're like, okay. And then I remember the lady going, a lot of people say they feel a warm rush in their chest after this is injected.

Sure. And I go, oh, you got it right in the ear. I go, okay. And then she just injects it, and it goes like three, two, one. And then it was like in the chest, and I was like, oh, my God. They right. They are right. I go, nice.

But I was there. That was when you got caught. And he said, how soon can I get this again? And they were like, oh, we just gave it to you. And then we had to reset his arm. Reset his arm. The guy had to pull his shoulder out. That was like out of like, and I love the energy for the boys.

For the boys is bigger than what you guys started. It's gotten bigger. When I'll, you know, I don't want to cry on a podcast, but I can get emotional emotional and you know i can oh yeah we've seen it before when tommy hurt his arm and broke his leg dunking a basketball we i remember getting on the one on the on the 405 and i told leanne i said tommy's hurt she said we need to go down to put their house in a very palatial six-story mansion in the palisades and six stories it was like four stories right six million dollars you pay for it anyway straight

cash and we went and I picked Leanna when she turned the car around we went down I love Tom's wife I love Tom's wife. I love Tom's wife. In a moment of panic, she may not be your best partner. She was making biscuits. Do you remember this? She was making biscuits and had a glass of wine. She goes, Tom's hurt. I'm making biscuits. I was like, we're going to need

more than that. We got a weight belt to get him out of the car. The next day, Push, rightfully so, was taking care of Tommy and their kids. They're young kids. At the time, they were like babies. Right.

And I went and I got car service to get us to, car service is the wrong word. Okay. Two things that I i first of all so i was i did something insane like oh i remember this you like checked yourself out of the hospital right check myself out of the hospital which was a smart move but i i'll tell her but no to home i went home i should have gone to the good i checked myself out a bad hospital you knew it was bad doctors later told me they're like that was smart right should have gone to a good, I said I just went home. Crazy.

And then, that was crazy. But what I remember is like, you know, they get me, they lay me on this couch. Right. I'm like, oh. And Bert, first of all, goes to the store,

and I'm laying on a couch, I can't move. Yeah. I'm all fucked up. Nothing's been operated on. Yes, you're just like mangled. I'm all fucked up Nothing's been Operated on I'm just all fucked up Yeah yeah And he's like

Here's Doritos And Cheetos He's like In case you get hungry And I'm like Okay And they give me And then

His wife She looks down at me And she goes It's bad She goes You're gonna gain a lot of weight You're gonna get fat as fuck Yeah And I was like You're gonna get fat She looks down at me. She goes, it's bad. She goes, you're going to gain a lot of weight. You're going to get fat as fuck.

You're going to get fat. I wouldn't give Nutella on that. She goes, it's real. This don't look good at all. I was like, okay. And then we were like, okay, we need transport. Because you see if you go like a medical facility or hospital, not an ambulance, but like, you know, a van that transports people. Right, right, right. So I'm like, well, just get just get one of those.

I mean, I'm not thinking right. It's like just get because I'm in a wheel. I have to go in a wheelchair. Right, right. They some guy shows up to the house he's got long long i mean middle of his back black hair ponytail ponytail and he's just like hey what's up guys and you called this i called it smoking cigarettes in the van yeah oh yeah smoking cigarettes in the van I remember I'm always Always I would say like

95% of the time I'm always like You can leave me be I don't need someone with me I'll do this alone I see this guy I see this guy The chair goes into the back of the van

and they lock it in and i go don't leave like i grab him i go don't fucking leave me dude like you have to ride with me and i'm like i'm like i'm seriously like i'm scared i'm fucking scared like i was like were you scared like like you thought dying or you thought like permanently disfigured i just was like i, I don't trust this guy. The vibe's off. This situation, I'm fucking super vulnerable. Because of the heat of COVID. It's the high point of COVID.

Yeah. It's 2021. I don't even know. You guys, you know. It's 2020. It's December 2020. Right, right. And we're in the car.

We're in this van. And they literally take the wheelchair and they lock latches into this guy. And it's a shit van. It's a fucking like yeah are you escaping the country van right right i'm just a little bit of fame with you guys too at that point so it's like and i'm like just don't leave dude don't leave he's like all right i'll ride with you and the guy's like so what do you guys do uh and i'm just like huh and burt's like we do comedy he's like i like comedy and i like, I want to fucking kill myself.

Somebody finish the job, please. Tommy, tell him a joke. And Bert's like. My phone's out, and I'm putting it on Instagram. And Bert's like, he's a famous comedian. I'm like. He's like. He goes, he's a famous comedian from Netflix. And he's like, oh, I've heard.

He didn't even have. He goes, I heard Netflix And he's like Oh I've heard He goes I've heard Netflix I was like Oh my god I was like Oh Jesus Christ I'm leaning to you The best Hang on

The best part of this story Is Tom's legs out His arms out And we get him Into the elevator And we couldn't get The elevator door to close And we couldn't get people in

It was the fucking i said another secret time thing but like whatever fucking hate me for it we get into the hospital it's a heat of right everyone's dying of it's no dude listen this is december the second like that was 2020 November 2nd, 2020. It's the Delta variant. It's like absolute worldwide pandemonium panic. And they're just like, wait over there. They said, we go. We roll Tommy in. I said, my buddies, we might have an appointment.

I'm not certain. He's had a massive injury. And they're like, it's about to be a two-hour wait. And I went, hold on. I did this. I'm cool with it now. I lowered my mask. And I made eye contact with all the orderlies in the back.

Someone goes, the machine. I said, Tommy, lower your mask. He's like, what? I go, lower your fucking mask. And he goes, we got a room for you guys. We did not wait one second. That's the time to flex. They put us in a room. He goes, dude, I room for you guys. Yeah. Hell yeah. We did not wait one second. That's the time to flex. He put us in a room.

He goes, dude, I love your podcast. What happened? I'm like, we're playing basketball. Dunk contest. And he said, what the fuck are you doing playing basketball as old as you are? Yeah. It was crazy. I also was like, I won the dunk contest.

I always tell people that. Right before he dunked on like nine foot, nine five. It was crazy. Yeah. Almost ten feet. Yeah. Not quite. Not quite. Not quite.

That moment reeks in my head of so real. Like those moments are crazy. So I remember Tom's exact words. The first words out of your mouth were, I'm hurt, call Christina. Yeah. He said, I'm hurt, call Christina. Yeah, because it was weird. It wasn't like I hit by a car

where everyone knew it it was like no I tried to nobody was gonna think you were gonna be like massively injured in the ambulance

I was like tell Christina and then I I texted my agent cause I was supposed to be in Phoenix the next day I was like I'm on my way to the hospital

you have to let Phoenix cancel the show he told me later he was just like they were like what he's not coming the best part is all the agents then called me and they go so we were i think we're supposed to do something with laird hamilton and gabby

reese that's right and they were like it's a car accident isn't it and i was like no and like tom it's driving it is like car accident level reckless yeah you guys are drunk and i was like no we were playing basketball. And no one believed it. No one believed it. It was more reckless playing basketball in your age. The thing that I've never told anybody, I've never even told you,

is that the Laird-Gabby thing was on the table. And I was like, yeah, but I know I'll beat him in basketball. She's so much bigger than us no no I'm saying like I was like because we were going to compete yeah I go yeah but I know I'll beat him in basketball so let's do basketball oh my god dude I'm thinking about you in the car and you being like, he's like one of the funniest guys alive. And all I could think of is that, like, the person who had to introduce Stephen Hawking to someone who didn't know Stephen Hawking.

And you're like, he's a genius. You're like, this fucking guy? Tom's like laid up all twisted. I've got five specials on Netflix. He's hilarious. Yeah, that driver was like, I like jokes. I like jokes. You guys know Fluffy. Yeah, that driver was like, I like jokes. I like jokes. You guys know Fluffy?

Yeah, we know him. But, like, rock bottom moment for you with the injury, rock bottom moment for you with the picture, dude. It changed his life. He started losing weight for real.

Like, for real. It was like, I think Leanne's moment of, like, you're going to be fat as fuck. Yeah, total opposite, dude. Where he was like, I think Leanne's moment of like, you're going to be fat as fuck. It was the total opposite, dude. Where he was like, he changed his diet entirely and started working out. And his rehab was, look, everyone's sucking cocks, but like fairly impressive. Like he was deadlifting out of surgery, like doing deadlifts.

And Tom's dad was an Olympic. He's an Olympic weightlifter, yeah. Oh, wow. Holy shit. Three-time state champion. Let's not talk about him. lifts and and tom's dad was an olympic uh or he's an olympic weightlifter yeah oh wow holy shit but uh three times state champion let's not talk about him but uh yeah yeah his dad passed so we don't know okay that's okay oh okay that's okay yeah yeah i mean he still he still did that yeah it did happen huh your dad alive yes my parents are alive there we're lucky the um the the my dad will die one day. First person. My dad's dad is dying right now and it's a whole trip for him.

So he's like, he's been having all these like conversations with me. We're just like, really just like, do he send wild that you're so your grandfather. Yeah. My dad's pretty young. He's 61. Okay. This is great though. Cause every time his grandfather calls him and he thinks it's, like, the last call. Sure. You know?

He's like, this is happening for a reason. Just turned 89 last week. Wow. And said, I didn't want to live until 90. Looks like I won't. What was the line he had? He has a great one about, like, dinner time or something like that. He called me, and I called him for what I thought was the last time.

And we were having, like, our, like, goodbye talk. And he's a very religious man and so he was like um what did he say he said uh i said guys papa joe how are you doing and he went well john henry i'm on a one-way street but i'm going the right way and i was like wow that's really deep and cool and then i realized like anything someone dying says yeah i said he could have said like uh i got two flapjacks on the stove, but they're not for me. And I would have been like, holy shit. And he could never order flapjacks again.

Like, oh, fuck. You see them on a menu, you start crying. You're like, fuck. Flapjacks! I was saying, I actually haven't told Kevin this have told Kevin this where we, I went to see him for the last time. And, uh, it was the most outrageous conversation ever. Cause it was just like, like we were both like, all right, this is our last time ever

talking. That's crazy. I've never had that. And he was like, he's like, so who do you think the Pats are going to get? I was like, dude, what who you think the pats are gonna get i was like dude what do you care man and then and i was there for like 20 minutes had a sandwich and then he just sits he's sitting there he just laughs his leg he goes well thanks for coming by no way dude i was like our genes are strong because he just wants to be alone too word yeah yeah yeah those moments i think it's what

tom's dad said to him i've surpassed a lot tom's Tom's dad said, I'm going to paraphrase for you, Tommy, but something to this effect of life goes on. It does. It just goes on. I think about that so much because it does. It does. Don't stop. It goes on.

Is that what he said? Yeah, he goes, you know what happens when someone dies? And I said, what? And he goes, the world goes on. That's what he said yeah he goes you know what happens when someone dies and I said what he goes the world goes on hmm sure I mean prolific I think Conan said something like that recently an interviewer he's like everyone's grave goes eventually goes unvisited mm-hmm yeah it kind of makes you think about it yeah you're just fucking crazy you go like okay like let's say My dad died

So I have a A place to visit Sure I want Yeah My kids know them So they could go like Yeah

Their kids would be like I don't know Just a fucking stone in the ground Right Yeah that's it And then it's like And then the next generation They're just like

There's a sign Totally Just like And then you just It we just take it like hundreds of thousands of acres yo yeah of you know i mean of real estate of like this is just dead body yeah it's it's one of the craziest things we do it's insane yeah i mean well it's got to be a wacky religious thing right there's also we should all be thrown in a fucking fire but there's a there's also where you just go like just over time.

There's a point. It's not going to happen in our lifetime or the next lifetime, but it's like in a thousand years. They would just be like, oh, yeah, we don't do this anymore. Right. This is insane. Especially the people who buy. Well, you're going to have a $25,000 casket.

I'm going to have a QR code on my casket, on my gravestone. He's got to jump out. He's got to do his slideshow, but we're going to kick it for a little while. What? This is why Will and Taylor keep fucking us. Where are you going to do what? We have a trivia show. He's the halftime host.

A trivia show? Yeah. It sounds like a bad excuse, but it's a big to-do. It's a live thing. It's at the Luxor. What's the trivia show? It's a big barstool thing. We have a league of trivia. Yeah, it's a big to-do. It's a live thing. It's a deluxe. What's the trivia show? It's like a big barstool thing. We have like a league of trivia.

Yeah, it is. All right. I love you, buddy. I'll keep you, too. We'll keep going. It's fucking vodka. It's a vodka. It's a vodka, you dummy.

It's got the mushrooms in it already. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Wait, we're editing that. The vodka is delicious. I'm aware of what I was drinking. Yeah, I think it's the craziest. The vodka is delicious. I'm aware of what I was drinking. Yeah. Yeah, I think it's the craziest.

You're going to have 50,000 people at your funeral. I hope so. I'm going to have a funeral, number one. It's so fascinating to me that not long after I met you. Not long after I met you. Not that long He was just like When I die I just want it to be like

A real event Yeah And I was like what? Like I'd never heard That doesn't surprise me I know but I'd never heard somebody like Yeah like think about it that way Yeah yeah

What do you mean? He's just like I want people To like Really I want to be remembered i want it to be a big thing and i was like i've never heard somebody say that you know we should do we should uh like the like the puerto rican gangsters who get like taxidermied and propped up yeah you know what i'm talking about yeah imagine that i'd be into that that would be so good i know who i'm sure off do you know you know be so good I know who I want shirt off

you know drinking hands do you know who you want speaking at your funeral no I don't think about this shit I do all the time Tom

I think I a hundred percent yeah are you kidding me he'll cry and everyone oh I'm gonna cry thinking about it

he'll cry and it'll break the fucking room yeah whew my daughters Oh, I'm going to cry thinking about it. He'll cry and it'll break the fucking room. Yeah. Oof, my daughters. We'll see emotion out of him. They'll fall apart. Oh, it'll be the best.

My funeral's going to be so fucking awesome. I can't wait. Bro. I lied, man. That's the thing about life is like you want to live a life that people celebrate, that they love, that they go, God damn it, I miss this motherfucker. Yeah. Why live a life if you don't live a life that people don't go, fuck, that's a good one. We lost a good one.

Yeah. I just want – I wish I could see it. I would love to fake a death. That's what I was going to say. Why don't we fake your death and then you get to witness it. But I would love, I want,

you want to talk about it. I want, I want everyone there. And if you're listening, if you're listening, I'll look at a camera. Show up. Show up.

All my, I want all my friends there. I want everyone there. Can I speak at the funeral? Please. By the way, I want everyone that wants to speak to speak. He's got good genetics though, dude. I was going to say he'll be 130. He'll outlive

all of us. He will. I'm going to be crazy old and I'll be dead. You guys will all be dead. You'll be the guy who outlived everybody. He's going to be the guy like at a funeral. Your funeral's going to be the guy at a funeral. Your funeral is going to be awesome. Who's like 78.

People are going to be like, get the fuck out. When I'm at Tom's funeral, they're going to go, it should have been you. Yeah, right. Leanne's funeral. You think she'll go first? Yeah. It's going to happen quick for her. Why the Lord take him first? Leanne's funeral. You think she'll go first? Yeah. Jesus.

It's going to happen quick for her. Quick? Yeah. How quick? It'll be something like that out of nowhere. She'll be cool with it. She'll understand it. She'll get it.

She'll be like, and I'll be a mess. And she'll say stuff to the girls like, hey, figure out your dad before he comes in and talks to me. I'm going to start crying too. I love, but I don't mind talking about this shit. You ever see the movie Signs with Mel Gibson? Yeah. I'm just dumb enough to fucking love that shit.

When the woman gets hit by the car though and she's pinned together and they're like, when we move this car, you're going to die. And he's like, you understand what I'm telling you. This is the last time you're ever going to... That scene always fucks me up. If you if you know that's it it makes you think about saddam hussein yeah that's what i executed when he got executed you know that like a lot of the

people in the room he killed their family members right they were yelling at their family members names and he's say what you want about saddam hussein but he walked out like a gangster. He did, and he was like, fucking do it. He did die like, you know. Like a man. Like a man. I wouldn't die like that. Talking shit. Yeah, like if you were in a situation, would you be talking shit or begging for your life?

Begging? I'm going to answer first. I would be Saddam Hussein going, I guess you'll never find out where the gold is. I would be a coward. I'd be a coward. I've be, I'm saying going, I guess you'll never find out where the gold is. I would be a coward. I'd be a coward. I've thought about a lot. I watched Napoleon in the movie when they cut off Marie Antoinette's head. She just went up and just took it.

Right. And I would not be that guy. I would be, I would be a coward in my death. I will be a coward in my death. I will. In those moments, I'm hoping,

I guess you hope that it lasts long and you're you know your your dad died of cancer yeah so we got to say a lot of things yeah i want to say a lot of things i want to say a lot of things um i don't want to just die in a car accident yeah you won't have a chance to like i don't want to be of my own thing it's the reason i quit drinking for so long and i've tried to measure my life a little bit is that i don't want to get the call from the doctor that goes it's obviously it's the fucking liver you know i don't want to be that guy and so that's why i changed my lifestyle but i i i'll be cool with like some bullshit death that takes long and i can i want to talk to everyone

i'll tell everyone how i feel going oprah i can still do push-ups that tour yeah death tour okay like derrick jeter's farewell tour like wild go to every stadium and you know like they get a gift from every arena you ever performed at realize the promos i do i was gonna say what's up it's your boy burke kreischer i'm dying in nine months listen here's the deal you gotta come see me i got an arena tour it's the last time you'll ever oh burke kreischer the last ride or some shit like that forget it he got his liver drained belgium dude liver drained i didn't even know it's a thing it's not i was gonna say that sounds like something that you can't oh he's lying i did not get my liver fucking drained this is when you have a cunt friend like tom you get these my foot got amputated in belgium two toes oh right right right okay okay

how do you want to die yeah you know i've since i've seen one version of it i don't know man i kind of feel like maybe quick is the best way to go don't you think you i would rather get a tough diagnosis i thought i was gonna drown and then you thought you were going to drown? Yeah, yeah. In the Pacific. Oh, you had a moment. Like, you were in the water. Like, I'm going to drown. Really? Like, the current was taking you?

You were like, fuck. Yeah, I was like, I don't know if I'm going to make it right now. Were you alone? Huh? Alone? Alone, yeah. How long was this? A year ago.

And I was just like... Did you go pretty far out? He got into open water swimming. Yeah. And I was just like... What are you doing? He's changed. What are you doing?

Oh, let the comments tell you tom's changed he's fucking open water swimming who the fuck does that you can't be doing that that was yeah and i and i would go back the next day i'm gonna do it again you're crazy and that that was crazy but i i kind of and that would have sucked because the panic starts to set in right as drowning sucks that first feeling first feeling when you breathe in water. But also... Suck. It kind of makes you think that, like, you know, hit by a fucking car or just...

Just blink, you're just gone. Shot, you're just gone. Yeah, you're there one minute, you're gone the next. It's pretty terrible. So I'm out on the suffering. I want a bad diagnosis and then heroin. Heroin. Like, bring my family around, do a little farewell thing,

and then load me up with a dose that kills me. Well,'re doing for like you gotta do it for a week and then i die if you're diagnosed and you really are suffering they do they do they do that yeah it's like comfort you know whatever and uh i don't want to fight it you know chemo and all that shit no thanks it'll be cancer everyone's my family has died of cancer, so it'll just be that. That's just like, to me, that's just the way you die. Because like,

my, yeah, I don't know, I have a lot of bad markers, I think. Like, my dad died, 74.

That was like Agent Orange. Yeah. But then, his brother, one of his brothers died, younger, cancer. Yeah.

Sister died, cancer. One brother's still kicking though, and he's 81. There you go. I know. And then my mom's side, her dad died when she was 13. Conquist, of course. Yeah.

He had a stroke, died. At 13? She was 13. Oh. Stroke at 13. Wow. Talk about tragedy. They weren't putting him in the mines early. I had two instances in my family where both my mom and my dad thought they were getting

like, you have stage four cancer. My mom, it was like a smudge on the fucking x-ray sort of thing. They were like, this thing you see see here is a tumor and it's big and and they were acting funny in front of us and i and i like they came home and i was like i was young enough that i didn't know what's going on when something was up and it turned out like the there was a shadow on the you know what i mean something dumb on the fucking film and then my dad uh last year uh got like some you know bad news news. Like the numbers were like, you're dead. And he was like, I'm totally fucking fine.

I walk like miles a day. Yeah, yeah. And they were like, you're, you know, about to die. And then the numbers, you know, the next day, like the test just came out differently and he was fine. I was like, what the fuck is going on? Our bad. Yeah, one of those things.

I do want to beat Christina though, you know, like her dad is alive yeah kick it but her mom died when she was 68 success something like that and so you start to think you start to go like like about second wives because that's where i'm going because i go i'm not saying you're crazy for going again. I would love. Yeah, I've heard you say this before. A second wife. Oh. How old? 32. That's very specific.

32 would be cool. And like. And a kid? Oh, a gaggle of them. Yeah, you'd have a whole other family. Oh, yeah, I'm going to have six. Six? Six more.

With the second wife? Six, yeah, I'm going to load it up. And then I think about that sometimes. How about like De Niro? 89 having a kid kid That's fucking insane He's 89? He's not 89 Yeah

De Niro's not 89 I think he really is No He's definitely like high 80s Because he just had a kid Really? He just had a kid And people were like

This is kind of fucked up Because like Kinda Your kid's not going to see you Past you know Like second grade What's crazy being a broke 80s

A broke poor dad Like Tommy knew me When I had my girls We were both very broke past you know like second grade well it's crazy being a broke a broke poor dad like tommy knew me when i had my girls we were both very broke they just come over for dinner and my girls would be naked we had we did naked time around the house yeah the girls run around naked and it was like two little babies we were broke we had no money and it's interesting now seeing tommy with his boys like when i go to his house and we have naked time too and they have boys but they're they're not i'm they have money obviously but it's a it's it's interesting to see the two juxtapositions of like the way that he experienced me with my girls broke as fuck

like really i remember i remember making getting bonuses and getting cash and i'd throw it on my kids like whores and and and and and now but you see tom with his kids but it's it's it's it looks more fun he was also very astute to the business and aside that not of all of us were right like he was very quick to like yo podcast work yeah let's do it um i remember my very first podcast it just very clean tom walked in he told me that day it was easter sunday joey diaz was coming over my dad was going to be there and tom said make sure we have all the equipment uh because we're gonna do a podcast your first podcast and i was like cool and he just went back to my desk and he hit record and he goes, don't touch it. Let's just do it and post it. And we did it.

And Joey said, wild shit. Joey's wild. I mean, wild shit. To the point where my dad was like, you got to take that out on a lawyer. I can't hear that. Like, I am culpable by hearing this information. And so, but Tom, your mom's house has been around one of the longer podcasts around like 14 years 14 years yeah that's and but i don't think i realized your mom's house is that old yeah

when we started 13 this year we started two bears tom real quick was like uh hey this is good let's do more of these let's uh let's let's let's do one one a week like he just is uh you see it coming because i remember giving his wife bad advice and being like trust me the clubs will take care of us tom's like no they don't they don't give a fuck about us they're all gonna be fired one day they're all idiots right and he was like get into theaters get into rock venues and then i was like tommy you don't want to fuck these club guys over we need them and he was like they're nobody yeah they don't give a fuck about you guys over. We need them. And he was like, they're nobody. Yeah, they don't give a fuck about you.

And I'll tell you, and I say this. We're getting close, right? I remember saying, like, at a time, I was like, is it six? Yeah. All right. We're good. And so I remember, I mean, look, this is a pivotal thing I've talked about a million times if you don't have a friend doing things better than you you're not

living your life and then the best thing I ever had in my life was having love for a person that was better than me and just going like how's he doing it how can I do it better and all the decisions I've made I've always bounced off Tommy everything and it's the coolest thing you could ever have in life And all the decisions I've made, I've always bounced off Tommy. Everything.

And it's the coolest thing you could ever have in life is to like have, hang out with the motherfuckers. Hang out with the great white sharks. Like don't let yourself, if you're listening to this and you're like, oh, they're fucking talking about money. No, no, no, no, no. Just surround yourself by people doing it better than you. And then learn from them. And then you'll get better. I'm not that talented.

I really am not. And I'm not that good of a podcaster. I'll get better. I'm not that talented. I really am not. And I'm not that good of a podcaster. I don't listen. I don't do anything. But I'm tethered to a dude who fucking knows what he's doing and every now and then can go like, you should do this. Hey, when we're doing the MJM Garden Arena, you should be in the round. Let's do one show in the round.

And we fought about that because my stupid brain was like, two shows, doesn't matter, bottom bowl, fuck it. And Tom's like, no. And you've got to have no ego in it and understand your boys and go like, I get it. I've been very lucky. Rogan, Tommy, Shane Gillis, watching him blow up, it's fun to hear how his business is working.

Just have humility about it and and my only advice anyone listening because i know that who listens to this podcast surround yourself by the motherfuckers and let them help you get a better life stop hanging out with your white friends shout out to joey ds like uh buddy mean, that's how something like Porrosos comes together. Buddy, buddy, we, listen. This is how friends and brothers should work. We got approached by a bunch of different liquor companies a number of times. I brought deals to Tommy. The first deal that was brought to me, I remember saying,

this has to go down in your brain if you're a bro listening to this. I said, I would be remiss if someone brought a liquor company to Tom and he didn't bring it to me because we're boys. We're buddies. We're best friends. I brought the first one to him, and I said, yo, we can get 33% of this company if we join in. And Tom is smarter than me, and he said,

we can own 100% of the company if we invest our money. And I was like, that's our money? And he's like, trust me. We went through a ton of distributors, a ton of distillers, and we came up with this. Tom shepherded this entire project. The only thing I gave a fuck about was what does the vodka taste like? What does the bottle look like? We worked through the bottle.

We have a honeycomb top. Yeah, I love that. All of it is a partnership. Lower your ego. Find your your partner you got fidelberg the boys got will and taylor you look at the way things are working in the universe mccusker and shane gillis be cool with being a partner with someone lower your ego and find out how to work together and i'm telling you right now, today I am drunk as fuck. I'm drinking my vodka.

I own it with my best friend. Feels good, right? Yeah, it feels good. Drunk off your own vodka hits a little different. And I'm doing one of my favorite podcasts in the fucking world. My man, I appreciate that, dude.

Thank you so much, bro. Love you, bro. Love you too, bro. Love you. សូវាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប� Thank you. Bye.