KFC Radio - Best of Clancy And The Rockets Week 2: Rutledge Gets Rocked, Kayce Cries Over Ugly Dogs, and What's Hooking Up Exactly

Episode Date: November 26, 2018

Kayce went to PetCon and cried over an ugly dog (2:07), Laura Rutledge got hit on the field and then get hit on by the player (21:27), are rub n tug's a deal breaker (27:33), what exactly is the definition of "hooking up" (47:00), the Yankees stink and we are all thankful for that (56:43). Last week was a short week, 5 full days of Clancy & The Rockets, tune in SiriusXM Channel 85 from 1-3pm everyday.You can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/kfcr

Hey, KFC Radio listeners, you can find every episode of KFC Radio on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. Alright, it's week two of Clancy and the Rockets Best Of, brought to you by Omax Cognitive Boost. It is a game changer. It's a 100% certified supplement that makes you mentally sharper. The game is 90% metal. The other half is, what does Yogi Berra say? The game is 90%. No, 95% mental. The other half is physical.

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podcast. Everything we do, every segment we spit is good enough to be a best of. Every time we talk, it's the best. So, Monday, Tuesday, we sat down with Laura Rutledge, the sideline reporter who went viral for getting absolutely creamed by a linebacker on Georgia, I believe it was. We had a spirited debate about what constitutes a hookup

and should oral sex be considered part of a girl's number. Let's just say there was wild disagreement between the males and the females on that one. Do you still do Friendsgiving? Do you do Thanksgiving Eve? And what we were all thankful for. So enjoy Best Of, and we'll be back this week for a full week on Clancy and the Rockets. Let's get it started it's thanksgiving week and we're coming in hot with a little what's this called baja boys or

baja men or some shit yeah i think so who let the dogs out in honor of pet con which was oh i see what happened okay you got to get deep with it with mike fowler's behind the behind the boards there it was pet con this week fuck yeah it was this weekend and casey uh casey smith certainly partook in that it is clancy and the rockets here we're gonna kick things off right we're gonna get into a whole bunch of shit we obviously got to talk about uh the big news of the weekend we will talk about condoleezza rice and alex smith and that horrific injury a lot of things to uh talk about in the broad sense here on Clancy, Carabas, and Casey. But first, I had to start with this because we talked about it on Friday as we were wrapping up last week that Casey was going to be doing PetCon, which is like Comic-Con and all the other cons, but for pets.

And Casey has a human crush on a celebrity dog. True. And you were very amped up to go. You and Vibs went. Were you making content or this was just for fun? No, we made content. So originally I was just going to go for fun. Were you going to go alone?

Oh, yeah. Literally just by yourself, not even a friend, a boyfriend, nothing. You were just going to go by yourself. I was like, listen, like I'm not going to drag somebody to PetCon on Saturday morning like at like 9 a.m very honorable of you exactly now once i started talking about it in the office like everybody was like i i would have gone to petcon like even dave was like i would have totally gone to petcon so maybe i should have like said it out loud but i was totally gonna go by myself and i reached out to our pr agency like

shout out those girls who are awesome i emailed them i. I was like, listen, I need to get into PetCon. I will buy- Wait, wait, wait, wait. You were like- Tickets are expensive. I was going to say, but this was the time you decided like, I got to call in a favor. Yeah, exactly. Not like Super Bowl tickets. It's not like a World Series ticket. No, because I could get those by myself, right? So here's my thought process. I didn't mind buying a general admission ticket to Petcon because i was like i can spend money but i wasn't sure if i got a general admission ticket if it would assure me to meet my crush your guy first of all how much do you think a general admission ticket was

to petcon where is it it was at the javits center okay 25 bucks i was gonna say like 100 bucks really 75 for one day and they had v VIP passes you could buy for $750. And I'm like, well, listen. You get to take the dog home? I'm like, what the fuck? So I'm like, I call in a favor and I ask for, they're like, yeah, we can get you a press pass. So when we were doing Ugly Sweater Day last week, Vibs and I were playing like Erica and Brett's children in this like weird family photo we were taking. Yeah, I saw that.

And I said something along the lines of like, oh, I'm going to PetCon. And Vibs was like, what? You're going to PetCon? I have to go too. So we came together, decided to do this video. Vibs and I have never so much as like had more than like a hello, how are you doing conversation. And we went and these people, I'm crazy, but these people that attend PetCon are insane.

Like they have their dogs and strollers. Of course, everybody brings their pets. It is, you walk into dog heaven. There's pet people. There's dog people. There's dog people. I love my dog more than I like my humans. That's kind of where it stops and starts for me.

I don't think I'd be attending conventions. The thing about Casey talking about these insane people is like, That's kind of where it stops and starts for me. I don't think I'd be attending conventions and like. But the thing about like Casey talking about these insane people is like, Casey, you are one of these people. Oh, 100%. You are there. Oh, no, I am. I am. Like I. So I went out Friday night, like after we went and had drinks after the radio show to like celebrate the week and everything else.

Like I went out. It was a delight, by the way. It was a lot of fun. It was great. Yeah. Because I was like, oh, it's like seven o'clock and I'm already kind of drunk. This is great in my old age. So I went out afterwards and everyone was like trying to buy shots.

I was like, listen, I have to go to PetCon tomorrow. I can't get fucked up. She's taking it so seriously. So seriously. So we go and I find out very quickly that because we were with Barstool, like they loved the fact that Barstool was there and we had, like, the microphones that they were letting us into the VIP lounge. Like, this is great. So I go in the VIP lounge

and every single Instagram famous pet is there. Now... Wait, well, what exactly is the lounge? Like, it's like a lounge where they have, like,

these couches, but on the couches were all the dogs. Like, all the dogs. Now, I have been on record and I stand by this. Like, I hate the whole, like, Instagram famous thing. Like, I think that it's, like, I think it was Kevin Connolly, and I stand by this. I hate the whole Instagram famous thing.

I think it was Kevin Connolly, E from Entourage, was like being Instagram famous is like having Monopoly money. You might have a lot of it, but it doesn't actually do shit for you. I'm not big on Instagram famous people except for Instagram famous dogs because they have no idea that they're Instagram famous and I love it. So I go in there. You really don't. They have no idea.

They have no clue. So it makes it more real to. So I go in there. You really don't. They have no idea. They have no clue. So it like makes it more real to me. I go in there. These dogs are getting treated like just. The royalty they are. The royalty they are. But Tuna was not in there.

Tuna's the one that I wanted to meet. Tuna? Tuna. Tuna. Like the fish. So he looks like, yeah, but he looks like a cartoon. He looks like Mr. Burns from The Simpsons. Yeah, he's got that mouth like that. So she named him Tuna.

Like cartoon Tuna. God. I mean, if you need any facts, like I got you. That's a stretch. Yeah, he's got that mouth like that. So she named him Tuna, like cartoon Tuna. God. I mean, if you need any facts, like, I got you. That's a stretch. Yeah, a little bit of a stretch. I like it. So it's like Tuna Meltzer. He's got 2 million followers on Instagram.

I'm like, this dog is almost too famous to be in this VIP lounge. So Vibs and I, like, we're interviewing dogs. Like, Vibs was eating dog treats at one point. We're just, like, doing, like, obstacle courses, and I cannot make this up and it will be on camera. It will be on a video. At one point I look over where I think Tuna's meet and greet booth is going to

be. And I see him running like he's like going rogue and he's like running and I just start sobbing. Like I just see him crazy. This is my concern for Casey Smith going to pet con is like if if we're anywhere and I hear like I know that there's a dog like that's like that's the dog alarm dog well like a family dog so we have a family dog here I don't I have a a child of divorce I have a dog that my ex-boyfriend took that she gets a gift once a month,

but she's in the South. She's not up here. So she's technically still my dog. So you're a baby mama. I'm a baby mama, yeah, and I'm paying child support. Yeah, so it's even harder. Like, it's even like, I'm a crazy dog person, but yeah, I'm a crazy dog person, but I have like

fallen in love with this dog on Instagram. I realize how crazy it is, but it's like, if I'm having a shit day no matter what happens, and I see a crazy dog person, but this, I have like fallen in love with this dog on Instagram. I realized how crazy it is. It's like, if I'm having a shit day, no matter what happens and I see a post from Tuna, I'm like, yes, this is it. So I see him in his little like red sweatshirt that he always wears. And I'm just like hyperventilating. I'm like, I got to go meet this dog. By the way, I've never met a person that I cared about like this. Like I've never gotten starstruck by a person ever.

And we, because we had the cameras and because we had the microphone and everything we got to go up and she knew his mom knew who we were because they're also repped by the same pr agency so she's crazy there's like my client he has a book tour like this dog has gone on a book tour so she was like hey if you come back and like x amount of time like we'll like let you have some time playing with them and then like you can do like some interviews with them and she was like and obviously like you can have your own time with them like yes so we went and like did other things like got some other interviews like whatever and then i got to go back and i got to bibs actually interviewed his mom because there was no way i was like focusing on that i wanted to focus on

tuna and i'm like holding him and like... Fuck you, human. Yeah, like whatever. And so I start tearing up because I'm so excited. So his mom starts crying because I'm crying. And I was like... You're so crazy! I'm like, this is the craziest shit I've ever done because I'm actually crying over a dog right now.

But it's like, it just capped off the weekend for me. You know what that means? The fact that the owner cried means that like, that doesn't happen all that often. Kevin Dillis, there were people that special, like when it comes to the crazy. That line, the line for him was

so long and we went and like interviewed people people were flying in from other countries. I cannot make this up. You're actually not the craziest. No, like I wouldn't fly anywhere. Like they happen to be in New York. I would sincerely hope not. I wouldn't. He happened to be in New York and I knew I could go see him.

And like, yeah, like I obviously am a crazy bitch if I'm crying over a dog. But these people were like flying from all over. There was this girl who flew in from California and she had like his merch on. And she was like, I'm literally just here to meet Tuna. These are real things that are happening. So, yes, I'm crazy, but on the PetCon crazy scale. You're at the bottom, yeah. Or the top, whatever. That's insane to me

that there are people out there that would fly from another fucking country to meet a dog that they saw on Instagram. From New Zealand? That's like flying to a different planet. Yes. Like, I can see doing that for a celebrity that can actually speak and has a personality, but, like, you can just look at a dog that looks like Tuna

and be like, here's Tuna. No, no, no, no, no. Because, see, this is the thing. It's like, and I know, like. By the way, so I'm looking at it. You can see him on Instagram. He's Tuna Melts My Heart is the name. You actually, I don't know if you could find another dog

that looks like Tuna, Jared, because he's a weird fucking looking dog. I'm going to be honest. I'm going to say something that Casey, I don't think if you could find another dog that looks like Tuna, Jared, because he's a weird fucking looking dog. I'm going to be honest. I'm going to say something that Casey, I don't think this dog is cute. Mostly, a lot of people don't. He's one of those like ugly, on purpose type of, like, do you think that he's a good looking dog or you like him because he's like kind of ugly? Because he's ugly. He's like the, like, you're so ugly that you're the cutest thing ever. I just want to make sure you're acknowledging that he is in fact ugly. But he's like the like you're so ugly that you're the cutest thing ever i just want to make sure

you're acknowledging that he is in fact ugly because he's not i mean that that is a disgusting creature look at that picture no i got a bad underbite every time i show people his pictures they're like this dog is ugly i'm like well fuck you and you need to like get to know his personality by instagram do you feel like you're kind of being like disloyal to your your your your dog? I mean, I know you're not with him anymore, but like this is this is like a stranger. No, because it's like if you're in a relationship, you're allowed to have like a hall pass. Right. Like my dog.

But you like went and hung out with him. It's like he cried. Listen, I'm going through a goddamn divorce over this. This is what you did with the dog. Yeah. But like, it's not my fault that my ex took my dog from me. That is true. I mean, you're a single woman, basically, when it comes to dog ownership right now.

I mean, yeah. Casey is not just like this with just Tuna. There's a night where Casey might have had a little bit too much to drink, and she was walking down the street, and a random stranger had a dog. And she was like, oh, my God, it's a dog. She was on the verge of tears over a dog that she had known for maybe five seconds. I was blackout that night that you're referencing. By the way, there's a dog.

There's a girl. Like they're rare. Yes. Like it's a dinosaur. Because it's kind of like when you break up with somebody, like when you're in a relationship, you don't notice all the romance around you as much because you're in a relationship. Then you get your ass dumped,

and then you notice all the happy people around you. Fuck these people. That's what I'm going through with dogs. It's like I had my dog who I treated like a human, who I'd get like the puppuccinos for at Starbucks, and then my ex-boyfriend was like, no, I'm keeping her. So now I just notice all the happy dogs. I feel that.

That's what I'm saying. Did you lose your dog because like it's a better life for him to be in the South or something like that? Yeah. So that ultimately you're a good owner. Yeah. Cause like she, she grew up at the house I have in college station with like a big backyard and a pool and everything. And then I'm going to move to Boston with her. And then like, obviously like I were're not together anymore but tuna back to tuna like it was one of like the happiest things because it's like i said and i know deke sucker like quote tweeted me just now saying the instagram famous thing like with no context it's gonna look like i'm

talking shit about girls that care about instagram followers that's not what i'm saying what i'm saying is it's like instagram dogs don't know they're famous so it makes me even happier it's like this dog has no idea why there's a line of like hundreds of people to hold him and he's like can i just go eat like can you leave me alone i have a question how the fuck uh did tuna go on a book tour well his mom his mom didn't write the book you say tuna mom are you saying it kind of like unironically like do you really call them like you don't say owner you say mom and dad yeah that's a joke but you or not you just you call the mom and dad because you think they're your mom and dad i mean it's his mom what do you mean it's his mom i would say dog owner dog mom but like is it dog mom is the book

about tuna or is it like pictures of tuna it's all of the above because he has a whole his own website it's tuna tuna melts my heart dot com slash. So he's got like a whole merch page here. He's got a calendar. That makes sense. Let's see. How does a dog become Instagram famous? So I asked those questions. So there's another dog that's called Harlow and Sage. And we talked about it on the college football show.

Dave loves them. Dave's obsessed with Harlow and Sage. He asked me, he was like, did you get to meet them? I was like, I got to meet Reese. And he was like, shut the fuck up. People just get attached to these dogs. I asked Tuna's mom how it happened. And she said she didn't want to make an Instagram for herself.

She didn't want like an individual Instagram, like that was pictures of her and her husband. So she started posting pictures of him and it just started to go viral. Like it just started to take off. And obviously now 2 million people follow him on Instagram. And I like, he's always in all these outlandish outfits and whatever else but it's like they just start from just posting like everyday videos and pictures okay now let me just say this they sell calendars i sell one i follow one that's um uh he's from brooklyn shit it's a doodle though and i i don't think he, I want to kidnap him and let him just live a normal life.

He's always, like, wearing human clothes and being forced to sit upright. They put, like, glasses on him. He's like, he doesn't want to do that. He was probably at PetCon, because they, so there's this other dog that, like, pushes a grocery cart, like a little miniature grocery cart.

I saw that video. Russell Sprout. He, like, pushes a grocery cart. That's why I said, like, so Tuna, when I saw that video. Russell Sprout. He pushes a grocery cart. That's why I said, so Tuna, when I saw Tuna going rogue, it was like this, he's like a rock star. He's like, I don't give a fuck about being wrangled. I'm just going to run over and talk to the other dogs at the other booth. Because you know that they don't know why they're there.

They don't know why so many people are touching them. That's my point. I feel like sometimes that they don't want to be there. But that's why I was, when I was holding Tuna, I was just like, I need you to know how much you mean to me. Yeah, this is my guy. This is Samson the Doodle is who I... Oh, I know who Samson is.

Yeah, like, I mean, this guy's a weird pop-up. He was there. But he's got, like, glasses and a fucking button-up shirt on right now. That's the kind of shit when I get home from work, I want to take off, and they're making him wear this. And I really got a problem. Outside of Citi Field, there's this guy who fucking at the bottom of the steps when you get off the subway,

he's wearing a Mets, he puts the dog in a Mets uniform and a corncob pipe and glasses and a hat, and he sits there and he charges you for pictures. I am going to kidnap that dog one day and set him free. See, that's fair. I swear to God I'm going to do it. Fuck that guy. He's exploiting him for money. That dog does not want to be sitting.

Listen, humans don't want to go to Citi Field, all right? Nobody wants to go to a Mets game, and this poor dog is forced to sit there. I don't like that. I'm with that. There's actually a moment. So I used to go to New Orleans every single year with, like, my college friends because it was really easy to get to from Houston. And so we would go, and we'd just obviously do the whole Bourbon Street, whatever. And there was this dog that was, like, a homeless person's dog, but it, like, plays like it's dead the whole timebon street, whatever. And there was this dog that was like a homeless person's dog,

but it like plays like it's dead the whole time. And like you take pictures. And I went up to it and realized like this dog was clearly drugged. Like it had to be. There was no, and I threatened this dude's life. Like for real, I was like, I'm going to fucking kill you because you're hurting this dog to make money, you homeless bum. And then my friends had to like physically pick me up and carry me.

That stuff makes me sad. I know tunas live in the high life. And by the way, I'd like to mention, I might be crazy, but I'm having girls tweet me right now that they would have also cried. Well, guess what? They're crazy too. I said it's... This has been the running theme for the first week or so.

I said now it's crazy, crazier, craziest and Casey-est because she is crying her eyes out at her dog. It's all for content. Isn't that what we're supposed to do here? That's going to be a great video. Casey, if you did not work here, you'd be doing the same thing. Yeah, but just no one would be able to. I wouldn't have to

talk about it. I wouldn't have to be like, oh, listen, I cried because I'm getting out in front of it. I know I cried on camera. These girls are texting you, tweeting you that they would too. Were there other people at PetCon doing that though? I only had eyes for Tuna. I wasn't paying attention to anybody else. Was anybody else online

for Tuna crying? People were flying from fucking New Zealand, Kevin. Still not answering the question. Were other people crying or not? I don't know. Yeah, I said no. You were the only person crying. Because I didn't have to, that was the best thing. It's like, because we had the Barstool microphones, like, I didn't have to wait in line. Like, so I got to go, like, right up. I'm sure the people from New Zealand were like, fuck this girl. She let me, like, play with them microphones, like, I didn't have to wait in line. Like, so I got to go, like, right up. I'm sure the people from New Zealand were like,

fuck this girl. She let me, like, play with them and, like, whatever else. But there were some, I mean, there were a lot of crazy-ass people there. And there were a lot of dudes there, too, that were, like, equally as excited to meet these dogs. Now, crying, I'm not sure, but it was really just hyped up in my mind.

And I was like, plus, it'll be funny on camera. I love, like, you ever have these moments where you're at a bar at, like, you know, noon or something like that. I love, like, you ever have these moments when you're at a bar at, like, you know, noon or something like that, and you're like, what are you guys, unemployed? You fucking bums at the bar this early, and you realize you're sitting in the same bar with them.

Exactly. Can't throw those stones. I'm looking at the list here. This is from 2017. The list of most followed dogs. Jif Pom. The Pomeranian. I thought that dog's name was Boo. I don't know. I guess it's a different one. 7 million Instagram followers for this fucking guy.

Who the fuck are these people? Isn't there a dog named Boo that's like that? 7 million for that guy. There's a list here of Nala has 3.5. Doug the pug 3 million the pug was there dr grumpy cat i've seen grumpy cat before marnie the dog tuna is in the middle there marnie was there tuna you can follow on or check him out whatever tuna melts my heart he's a

chewini so he's a chihuahua he's rescued is that a dachshund we need dogs juniper fox what a weird name that is for a dog all right there's my dog juniper fox uh okay psycho you know the dog from the chewy commercials no you do if you i mean i might yeah so he's like the world stunt like leader or something and he did like an obstacle course and vibs and i like were part of it like they let us like go like hold hands and he jumped over us or whatever and i was just like these people are coming to see stunt dogs like i like i'm amongst my people like i'm amongst my people like came back like i didn't want to leave like we had beers in the middle too so like we like had halftime beers because we're just degenerates is this the happiest day of your life i mean it was

pretty great it's like coming off the five-year anniversary to the next day to petcon you said i mean you had to just have a weekend and then i just kept drinking like i was just like yeah like i'm living this high. I'm going to, like, watch college football tonight and just live this high. No, it was great. If you were to draft up Casey Smith's perfect day, it has to look a lot like what you experienced. Maybe if you mixed in, like, an Aggie victory. I don't know if an Aggie national championship, maybe.

It was that important. The meeting that dog? You are now talking National Championship. No, it's not as important as that. But the fact that you even threw that in the mix, this is important. Yeah, I mean, so. To draw an emotional response like crying of happiness, it has to be a National Championship.

It's true. Let's take a break. What would you cry? What's enough to make you cry tears of joy? It's an interesting question where you've got to really look at yourself in the mirror and be honest. What could draw that emotion from you? That's basically the whole list.

When we come back, we'll get into that. We'll talk a little Condoleezza Rice, and we've got ourselves a big Monday here on Clancy the Rockets. Let's get it! Well, that could put us to life. Yeah, they said Judas high class. Well, that could put us to life. Stranded, reaching out. I call your name, but you're not around. I say your name, but you're not around. I need you, I need you, I need you.

All right, we are back. We are now joined by Laura Rutledge. She went viral this weekend. She was on the sidelines at the Georgia football game, and she was trying to do her report, and she just got creamed. She got knocked the fuck out. She got knocked the fuck out, blindsided by this guy, Prather Hudson was his name? Yeah, I think so.

And then he actually ended up tweeting her saying, hey, I'm really sorry I knocked you down, but I can pick you up at 7 with the sunglasses emoji. So that's going all sorts of viral, 50,000 retweets, 275,000 likes. So quite the weekend of events for you, Laura. Yeah, you know, guys, it was funny because I did definitely, I got knocked the F out. So the fact that I was even able to pop back up in any way shape or form was kind of remarkable and that's one thing you know for our dude Tracer like he didn't hit that hard I mean it looks pretty bad but maybe a little harder considering

that you know he was the guy wearing the helmet pads but you know it's funny because I didn't know who it was that hit me honestly like it happened and I was down on the ground. But, you know, it's funny because I didn't know who it was that hit me, honestly. Like, it happened, and I was down on the ground, got back up, you know, did the report, like, tried to go on about my business. It was kind of an adventure of a day, as you guys mentioned. And then later on, somebody called him out on Twitter for, like, being the person who had done it. And that's when he shot his shot, you know, because shooters hate that.

Don't hate on it. The problem was, the problem was, because shooters can't knock that hustle. No, I am not knocking him. I thought it was hilarious. I laughed out loud. Problem was I'm married, so what I said was right. Oh, got it. What did the husband think of that?

That sucks. If you're the husband sitting at home and all of a sudden you have college football players hitting on your girl publicly. Oh, yeah. Do you know who her husband is,vin no who is it oh he used to play for the red socks and he literally has the most beautiful hair uh in the history oh josh retledge yeah he's yeah he's not worried about it i mean okay all right that changes yeah you're just like some chumps sitting at home yeah they're like the most beautiful couple ever but the best thing and i blogged about this earlier by the way laura like i had people coming up to me all day today being like uh why haven't you blogged about your best

friend getting hit i'm like well what am i supposed to go on there like make fun of her but uh i said that you popped up quicker than lebron did she did pop up real fast like i don't know if that's quicker than lebron has ever has ever gotten up like lebron milks that shit for like hours and laura's just popping up like i gotta do this is that adrenaline or it just didn't hurt that bad or you were just on the inside like oh this hurts so much but i can't really yeah it hurt really bad like still does but but what happened was i knew that they were coming to me right then for the hit on the tour de defense please excuse the plane announcements right now this is the the story of my life. I'm always on a plane. But anyway, so I thought I have to do the hit.

So they're like in my ear. They're like, are you okay? And I'm like, yeah, I'm okay. Like, just send it down to me. But then the funny thing was, I mean, no one was watching this game. I, instead of like just being normal and going right ahead with the hit, I say, oh, I just got hit. You know, so everyone's like at that point so you know that was random but but yeah I just I think I had no idea what happened

and I thought I better just pop back up and deal with the pain later well all right let me ask your question I hope I'm not uh talking out of school but if you were not married would that tweet have worked? You know, I looked at Prather, and he looked a little young for me. I'm 30, so there's like a thing that you do where you, I think you add, you take your age, and you divide it by two and then add seven, and then that's like the cutoff for how young you are. That's your number, right, yep, yep. So like, you know, I'm 30, so that would be 15 plus 7.

So I think Prather might be in the right range for me maybe. He's right there. He's right on the corner, Laura. But I don't know that he's my kind of guy, to be completely honest, because he's like a special team player that's like a backup running back or something. Oh, damn. Laura only dates quarterbacks, man. No, but he seems like a backup running back or something. Oh, damn! Laura only dates quarterbacks, man.

No, but he seems like a really funny guy. I will say that. Like, he seems like a really funny guy, and I loved it. Like, I thought it was hilarious. And props to him for, you know, combining an apology sort of with a hilarious pickup line. Yeah, listen, Twitter loved it, so. I mean, Twitter loved it.

At the end of the day, you don't get a date, but you get 275,000 likes in 2018. He got some followers, man. Yeah, I'm sure. Got a little bit of clout instead of the date. Fine, I'll take it. And then the Barstow audience got a photo gallery of Laura on my blogger. I mean, this is a win-win for everybody.

It's a win-win-win-win-win, except for Laura, who's like, back is broken. Yeah, you almost died. I'm watching it back. I'm pretty sure you got to your feet before he did. Yeah, she popped right up. Yeah. I don't know where he went. I was confused about where he was.

He just seemed to disappear in the whole thing. And I was trying to put my game face back on. So I never even saw where he ended up. But, you know, at the end of the day, guys, he should have been called for a penalty. To be completely honest. So he lucked out, but that didn't happen. Dude, if that is me, I'm getting carted out of there. I'm giving, like, a thumbs up to the crowd.

Like, I've got a broken back. That props to you for doing the job. So we'll let you take off on your flight. Happy Thanksgiving. Hope you feel better. Thank you, guys. Keep the ice on it. Ice and elevate. And we're going to hit a break now.

We'll come back. We'll wrap up. I love you, too. I love you feel better. Keep the ice on it. Ice and elevate. We're going to hit a break now. We'll come back. We'll wrap up. I love you, too. I love you very much. Bye. All right. We'll hit a break when we come back. Final segment of our number one here before halftime on Casey and the Rockets. Swag. All right, we're back. Clancy Carabas and Casey here on the afternoon.

Chicks in the office up next. Then Barstool Radio, then High Haters. It's the new lineup here on Power 85. Our very first episode, we talked about the Tom Herman fiasco, and Zach Smith was tweeting about how he was cheating on his wife with the Asian masseuse, the Asian massage parlor. And I think everybody here, almost everybody kind of in the world, was like, come on, that's not cheating. Come on, just a little rub and tug, right?

Well, there's a guy who is suing a spa for giving him an X-rated massage here in Manhattan. In Chelsea. So, like, right around the corner. Maybe, you know, you can just send that address over here. Ronnie Arnault from New Jersey says he visited the Upscale Living Fresh Men's Spa with his husband, a gay dude. And he laid down in what appeared to be a normal massage. Ten minutes into the session, she started to focus, quote, exclusively on Arnaud's buttocks for an inordinate amount of time,

making him very comfortable. As he became more and more uncomfortable, she moved his fingers below his buttocks and began caressing. At no point had he indicated, orally or otherwise otherwise that he consented to her touching his penis i guess at one point she said to turn over and she threw the towel off and at that point he jumped up and was like no no i don't want this and he called the cops if you roll in to a rub and tug and you don't know it's a rub and tug, that's on you. Yeah. I don't know.

You gotta know these things. Listen, you know these things. I mean, yeah, like calling the cops is asinine. But like, could he just not have known? And he's like, why is this lady touching my penis? I mean, I'm looking at the front, the storefront. It does not look like that seedy. It's got like a nice glass window.

Usually, if you've ever seen these places or heard of them just through the grapevine, it's like a fucking hole in the wall. It's a door with no window and it's double locked. Or the dive bars of massage parlors. Right. But I still feel like you know. I think it's usually odd for them to just assume.

Especially nowadays. You can't assume shit. it's usually odd for them to just assume. Especially nowadays. You can't assume shit. You can not assume. You can't assume. I don't think that it's that, like, I don't think there's, like, verbal consent, usually. One of my buddies goes to these all the time. Shout out Glennie Balls. He's a fucking pro at this.

He goes to Rub and Tug's. What? Glennie Balls? Oh, my God. Did you just make that up? No, no, no. The legend of Glennie Balls, when he first started, he's, like, super well-known for... But, like, he really is.

It's not just, like, a rumor. I mean, one time he FaceTimed Asa Akira from one. Really? As he was getting rubbed down. He loves him. He loves him. Well, that's good. I mean, good for him.

Why not? I mean, if that's what you're into. Yeah, he said that they always ask, and then they'll ask if he's a police officer. Like what? Like, do you want me to touch your penis? No, he'll just give the nod, and then they'll be like, are you a police officer? That's what I'm saying. I think a lot of it is probably unspoken.

So when she's like, lay down, take your clothes off, and he's like, okay. I think she's like, all right. Yeah, but you're supposed to take your clothes off. I know, I know, I know. I've gone to the massage. A lot of this, I think, is your clothes off. And he's like, okay. I think she's like, all right. Yeah, but you're supposed to take your clothes off. I know, I know, I know. But I'm saying a lot of this I think is unspoken or kind of agreed upon. Feidelberg wrote a blog about this one time, and it was pretty funny.

He said, no matter how hard you jerk off my fingers, they're not going to come. So move on. Yeah, he hates massages. Yeah, I've done the massage thing a couple times, and there's some parts of it that I like, and there's some parts of it that I don't like. And I've never been asked like if I wanted to be jerked off. Well, have you ever gone to one of these though?

They're not going to ask you unless you're at one of these places. I mean, I guess that doesn't look like one of those places. I mean, I think that is where this becomes a problem. Yeah, definitely. This looks like a classy joint. It does. But I mean, I think that is where this becomes a problem. Yeah, definitely. This looks like a classy joint. It does. But I mean, no matter what, fine. Fine.

You've been duped. She tries to, you don't want it. Get up and leave. Ten minutes in is very aggressive, too. The first ten minutes must have been all right. That's what I'm saying. It's like, you got to give me, like, at least a half an hour regular massage

and then you jerk me off at the before. Yeah. At the end. Yeah. That's why it's a happy ending, not a happy beginning. Are we sure this is a female masseuse that we're talking about? What's the name? Payton. Payton. So I see if there's a he or a she moved his fingers.

Oh, his fingers below the buttocks. So this good call, Mikey. This is below the buttocks. So this, good call Mikey. This is a gay happy ending massage. Ah. That is different because it's just different. It's very different. I feel like again with guys and a girl it can be, it's like

like you walk into a massage place right now and you see like a bunch of Asian women and it's like dark and the place isn't the greatest. I think you know exactly what's going on for sure i think that there might be a different vibe for the gay version of this and that's maybe where you can get back off these things because how in 2018 with social media bro and you got the fucking like yelp how many places are like forget about i went to this massage parlor and they tried to jerk me off? West Garden Spa, right around the corner from here, has been doing this for like 30 years. And everyone knows it.

Large was like, oh, my God, this is like a Wall Street staple. Like, everybody takes guys there, clients. Like, it's been going on forever. It has to be either you're paying it off or it's like, hey, we got a lot else to worry about. We're not going to worry about, like, the lame deuce getting jerked off. Have you watched The Deuce yet? Have you seen seen it i've seen a little bit of it but i it's like i mean it's old school like how prostitution became legal in new york city and it's like even back in what yeah well like it was it was not anymore yeah it's like old this is like really old got it or

is that i don't even know if it was ever legal but it was like james right it was accepted and then it's like then it moves into like the porn industry whatever but they just pay off the police to just stay away from them even when it was like full-blown prostitution so these places are probably like listen man like it's not full-blown prostitution in here like we're just but i mean it goes back to what we're talking about like i is it i don't call that i would not call that prostitution no you're not paying for sex you're paying for a hand job it's different it's It's a massage. It's completely different. I mean. But it's completely different from sex.

It's completely different from just a regular massage. It's somewhere in the middle. Yeah. It's. I mean, suing for that is pretty. You're talking to Sue? I mean, how about this? Like, now everyone knows that you got your butt rubbed and your dick jerked and you didn't want it.

Yeah. Like, having to go public with this is way worse than just like the embarrassment of like, oh my god, I can't believe you did that. This is also a try hard move to impress his boyfriend. That's what I was going to say. Like there could be like a thing where it's like... Imagine he got caught and he had to like, maybe this is all a cover up like his boyfriend

found out or caught him or where are you? And he said where he was and he had to like, never mind, I didn't want this at all. You do some desperate things in situations like that. I once had a girlfriend text me and be like hey i need you to call me right now and she was like i need you to text my boyfriend and pretend like bit like this elaborate story and i was like sure i'd help you bury a fucking body but it's like when you're caught in a situation like that you might act desperate that would probably that would make more sense to me than like this.

I need to sue because I was confused after the fact, I guess this is weird because I'm looking at it now. I'm looking at like the spa and there's like, uh, um, facials and, and like custom body scrubs. Like,

I feel like usually you walk into those joints and it's like, it's, it's, you know, a hundred dollars for a massage and you're gonna get jerked off. Not like, do you want a facial scrub? Do you want a jacuzzi custom body?

So I don't know. Maybe this guy has more of a gripe than I think. I don't know. Uh, I don't know how I would respond to an actual rub and tug. I don't know if that's my bag. I think you would probably come. I don't think I would.

Like if it's what I think, if she's not hot, I don't think that I would be like into it. I could see the rocket feeling that way. Yeah. Yeah. I got your standards. I mean hot I don't think that I would be like into it I could see the rocket feeling that way yeah yeah you got your standards I mean I don't think when you go to them you're thinking like I can't wait for like to meet a hot girl I think you have to go in knowing like I might get jerked off by you know it might not even be a woman right yeah I don't know how I don't think I'd like that and rocket don't fuck without rockets my thing I do like getting a massage so i want

that was the douchiest thing maybe you've ever said that is by far the douchiest thing he's ever said and he said it was such a smirk on his face like he was so confident in what he was saying rockets don't deal with anybody anything but rock yeah kill yourself dude i'm saying i'm just saying rubbing tugs might not be my thing you should find find out. We should do another outing. We've been talking about we've been talking about doing a wrecking room. We got to do a vacation. We literally talked about

going on vacation. Well, we're all going to get happy. I don't know. Does that even exist for girls? I don't know. It should. I think I'll sit that one out.

Yeah, that would be weird. I'll sit that one out. It's funny that like guys like many, many people like there's like you said, there's wide in the open. Like these places are well accepted.

Guys are just going to go, jerked off by strangers. And if there was any sort of similar thing for girls, it would be like, what, do you just go and get fingered? What is going on? I'm sure there are. I don't know. I really don't know. There's a movie about that, which I mean,

it was like a Hollywood movie, so it might have been made up. I would sit that field trip out. You guys can go yourselves. I think short of like a legit gigolo, so it might have been made up. I would sit that field trip out. You guys can go yourselves. I think short of like a legit gigolo, I don't think that that happens. I don't think so either. I feel like you have to like penetrate someone. Yeah. Yeah.

Like where you're just like, this is a male hooker. Because I don't think there are girls like, yeah, we just get like our feet rubbed. And then also like seamless. You just order like a finger bang. Yeah. Yeah. There's no way there's there. That is.

I guess there's something for everybody. Sure. You can get anything you want done. Oh, yeah. In this goddamn city. It was a movie. There was a movie that had a scene like that. And it was really funny.

With female heavy endings. I think it might have been Mike and Dave need wedding dates. Did you ever see that? With Zac Efron. Great film. Awesome movie. Our guy Peter Chernin. Electric film.

I think it happened in that I could see that because like Aubrey Plaza and my girl Anna Kendrick were like train wrecks in it yeah that movie is hilarious but yeah I'm pretty sure it happened in that were you on the record of saying

so if your boyfriend got a rub and tug what would be your reaction? I just don't want to know yeah just like don't ask don't tell but if you did know would be your reaction? I just don't want to know. Yeah, just like don't ask, don't tell. I just don't want to know. But if you did know, would you be mad? Probably not. Yeah. Right?

It's just like. I mean. I don't know. I don't know. Regular, if you got jerked off by a girl in a bar or something, it would be a disaster. It's like agreed upon. It's a business transaction. Like international waters sort of thing, right?

It's not a crime of passion. Right. It's a business transaction. It's different. Yeah, I'd rather not know. I'd rather not know that you guys are getting massages. Ignorance is bliss. Well, we're going to film it.

I don't think you can film that. I don't think that's how this works. We're going to have the glasses with the fucking cameras on. We're going to wear the police body cams. Sir, why are you wearing a harness for your hand job? Don't worry about it. These things, you've got gotta come up with these definitions Like what is this what is that what is cheating

What is okay what is not And one of the classic timeless Debates that I don't think will ever end There is no definitive answer What constitutes a hookup True Means many different things to many different people Hookup I know guys who are like If there's no penetration you didn't hookup. True. Means many different things to many different people. Hookup.

I know guys who are like, if there's no penetration, you didn't hook up. What? I'm like, well, let's soften that a little bit just for my self-esteem. You know what I mean? So I can add a couple more to the list. I think that there. You keep a list of people that you've hooked up with you haven't had sex with? No.

I'm just saying that I would like to be able to be like, no, I hooked up with her. It's like, we're cutting out all that. There's some things that I'd like to be able to say that I would no to be able to be like, no, I hooked up with her. It's like, we're cutting out all that. There's some things that I'd like to be able to say that I would no longer be able to be like, yeah. If her name came up, I'd be like, oh, I hooked up with her. Like, no, you only fucking, like, you know, you only, like, went down on her. No, that doesn't count.

Like, what the fuck? Yeah, that's not a hookup. Yeah, that's, it's, there are, I feel like everyone has a different definition of what constitutes a hookup. I know, I would like it to be universal. It also depends on how old you are too, though. Like, I feel like in high school, if you said hooked up, it's way different than if you're like

a 30-year-old. For sure. Yeah. Because I also think there's a, like, is it, are we going to say hook up in the sense of, like, I'm adding this to my list of people? Or is it like, yeah, I hooked up with her in a bar. Like, if you make out with someone in a bar, can you just say, like, yeah, I hooked up with her in a bar? No. I feel like. What do you say? I made out with her in a bar. Make out with someone in a bar, can you just say, yeah, I hooked up with her in a bar?

What do you say? I made out with her in a bar? You have to specify what you literally did there. Yeah, I made out with her. This is my rule for hookups. Because, yeah, if you just made out at a bar, then you just made out. You'd be like, yeah, I made out with her last night. But I can see where people would say, like, I hooked up with her at a bar. Not trying to pawn off, like, no, I fucked her.

Yeah, I hooked up with her, we made out, whatever. If you said I hooked up with her at the bar, then I'd be like, alright, well, you were, it was more than just making out. Yeah, you were, like, no, I fucked her. Yeah, I hooked up with her at the bar. Then I'd be like, alright, well, it was more than just making out. Yeah, you were going to the bathroom. Yeah, like, oh, you hooked up with her at a bar? That's some wild shit. I made out with her at the bar.

I was like, okay, yeah. I think the definition that I've come up with for a hookup is you did something that you wouldn't do in public. But that's like, well, I guess not. You would make out in a bar. You would, like. Yeah.

So, let's say there's, like, some heavy petting going on. Yeah, like, if you're, like. What would you call that hookup? If you're, like, touching titties and, like, you're grabbing dicks and shit. Like, that's a hookup. Like, you wouldn't do that at a bar. Like, you wouldn't do that out in public. I mean, yeah, you would if your clothes.

Like, some people do that with their clothes on at bars. I did that once. See, that's what I'm saying. I got kicked out of the bar stout. You mean, yeah, you would if your clothes, like some people do that with their clothes on at bars. I did that once. See, that's what I'm saying. I got kicked out of the bar stout. You know, you guys might not know stout. It's like right by Madison Square Garden. It's like very much a, you go before or after a game or a concert or whatever. And it started out as like a regular make out.

And then we were both like wasted and it kind of like progressed. It wasn't a kick. It was like a polite kick out though. The bouncer like tapped me on the shoulder and was like, yo, you got to go. Go home. He was also like, yo, you should go home Go home. He was also like, yo, you should go home. Yeah. You like the deal, you know, you're on the one yard line. Go

right. You can't do this at my bar though. I was like, understood. Fair. Yeah. Definitely. Okay. Feidelberg said if it becomes horizontal, so it's like if you're, if you're making that stand up at a bar, you're just making out. But if you're like hooking up, if you're making out in a bed,

then that's a hookup. I think clothes have to come off. That's fine. You can have sex without taking your clothes off. Well, okay, yes, but we're not talking about sex. Obviously, if you have sex, you hooked up. That's sex. He's like, I don't know.

It's 2018. There's going to be a toy car up your ass, too. Yeah, but you... What, are you electrocuting her? I don't know. It's 2018. There's going to be like a toy car up your ass too. Yeah, but like you, you're like electrocuting her. I don't know. No, but you, like you, something has to not be dressed if you're having sex

even with your clothes on. Like something is, like you can't just like be standing here and both of you have jeans on with no. You could, you could finger blast

the chick while she still has her pants and underwear on. Okay, I'm. So if you're at a bar and there's penetration of any sort, are you calling it a hookup? Yes.

Finger, penis, whatever. Yes. Okay, I would agree with that. But that kind of like, you can do that with your clothes on. You can do that vertical. So you can't have like a blanket rule about clothes or standing up or sitting down. You can have sex standing up.

You could. You have sex with clothes. It's hard. Yeah. Eh. The, I think the main, I think it almost falls, like, on the girl more. I don't know if that's sexist of me, but it's like, I think, you know, a guy's like, oh, me, gal, you, oh, fuck you, hook up here, hook up there, whatever, you know?

I almost think it's like, if the girl is going back to her friends saying like i got a story to tell or something like that which is still very vague but i feel like then it's crossed over into like that was an agreed upon hookup that was an event that occurred i feel like if you say to somebody just in general at our ages i hooked up with somebody they assume that you had sex with them see that's where i disagree like if somebody came up to my desk and was like yo i hooked up with somebody, they assume that you had sex with them. See, that's where I disagree. Like, if somebody came up to my desk and was like, yo, I hooked up with her, I'd be like, he had sex with her. I would say, like, if somebody was like, I messed around with her, then I'd be like, okay, they didn't have sex. I do like to catch all of fooled around.

I fooled around with her. That's like, I don't know what happened, dude. If someone came up to me and said I hooked up with so-and-so, I'd be like, did you guys fuck? You still have to ask the question. I'm more with him. I'm more with him. All right. Which is not fair, but that's what I would assume. Because if you fucked, you would just say that. You'd be like, yeah, I fucked so-and-so, I'd be like, did you guys fuck? You still have to ask the question. I'm more with him. I'm more with him.

Maybe it's not fair, but that's what I would assume. You'd be like, yeah, I fucked so-and-so. Yes! If you said I hooked up with someone, it's like, what'd you do? When we're talking in this office, yes, because you can say whatever the fuck you want here and nobody cares. In real life, you can't walk up to your friend at work and be like, yo, did you fuck somebody?

You just can't. Here, you can't. You can't. up to your friend at work and be like, yo, did you fuck somebody? You just can't. Like, here you can. I think if you. You can't. In like a corporate office, or not even that. I feel like if you say hook up, it's like the more PC way of saying you had sex. And sex, we're including all sorts of oral sex, whatever. No? No.

So someone can, if I say I hooked up with and she blew me, that doesn't count? No, no, no. That counts. Okay. But I'm saying like I wouldn't, if somebody says I hooked up with her, I assume that they meant full blown we could have maybe had a baby sex. Okay. But I almost think that there are times where I think it's like if she went down on you,

it's like crazier. Yeah. I think it's a lot easier to just get horizontal real quick where it's like, nah, she put it in her mouth. Some girls will straight up say, I'll fuck you, but I won't blow you. Oh, man. Who says that? I can't tell you how much I made waves.

I said on KFC radio. Let's say this sounds like a KFC radio episode. If you, that blowing guy should be considered for your number. And the girls' reaction were like, fuck no! you, that blowing guy should be considered for your number. Bullshit. And the girls' reaction were like, fuck no. Like, well, somebody sucked a lot of dicks.

Like, why would that not be considered? If you're talking about your number, meaning this is my sexual history, we're going to say that the dicks that were in your mouth don't count. In my book as a guy, I want to know that number more than I want to know the regular number. That is very true. That is a horrible thing. There's been girls where it's like...

That is such a shitty take. If I were to date a girl and she's like, all right, I got to tell you something. I hooked up with one of your friends. I'm like, please just tell me you fucked him.

If you blow him, we're done. I don't want my mouth or my friend's dickless. I would rather my girl get pounded out. Shut the fuck up. Through the bed. Get out of here.

That is so stupid. If you met a girl and she was like, what's your number? And she's like, one. I'm like, oh my God, you've had sex with one guy? And she was like, yeah, but I blew 50. Are you kidding me? That is so much worse. Oh no, I've only sucked 50 dicks.

But don't worry, I've only sucked one guy. That is such a bad thing. I would rather date a girl that has banged five dudes. No, no, I would rather date a girl that has blown five dudes and fucked a hundred than vice versa. A thousand! I mean, that's not even a debate. No, it's really not. That's stupid.

Yeah, it's not. It's not at all. I love it. The girls, I mean, I got that tweet like a thousand times in case you were like this is a bad fucking idea stop putting that shit out there right

if a girl if a girl blows a guy it's just so much more intimate bullshit it is calculated and it's like yeah

especially if it's a good one yeah 100% yeah where's that load going that's another thing that I need to know too I mean I need to know that I need to know, too. I mean. I need to know that.

I need to know. You should bring Jared. Yeah, let's bring Jared on KFC radio and let you guys dive into that. I don't want to hear him talking about that. I don't want to either. Let's hit a break. When we come back, we'll take your calls. You got any thoughts on the matter?

And when we get back, talk a little Thanksgiving. Where are you going to be? What are you going to eat? What do you want? What? Something like 36? What is that anyway? something like 36 what is that anyway something like 36 does that include me i'm 37 i'm 37 oh my god 37 my girlfriend sucked 37 dicks in a row and we're back. A spirited debate here on Clancy and the Rockets.

One that there will never be an agreement between the males and females of the world. So we'll just let it be. And you know what? It's actually better for everyone because numbers would skyrocket. And you don't want the girls' numbers skyrocketing. You don't want to have to have that thought. You want to know? I don't want to.

That's what I'm saying. Yeah, I want no clue. I don't want to know a number, but I do want to know key names. Because here's the thing, right? That's fair. Like high lights or low lights? High lights.

If it could affect your everyday relationships. Here's my, yes. Like, for me specifically, me personally, Boston is a small town, small city. So if you date an attractive girl, there's a 75 to 90% chance that she's either fucked an athlete or somebody at Barstool. It's gas. I want to know those names because it's like if I bring you to like an event or I introduce you then it's like I don't want to be the guy that everyone in the office is talking about hey

remember so and so fuck this girl and it's like I don't know but they know like I don't want I think you should you get you should there should be disclosure and then you decide whether you're okay with it or not yeah don't tell me the number just tell me who I need to be aware of Tyler Sagan and yeah I gotta think about this yeah Mike Napoli and gas like number just tell me who i need to be aware of tyler sagan and yeah it's like okay well i gotta

think about this yeah mike napoli and gas like do i want to date you probably not no that's probably not not in the cards no uh but you're never gonna get a straight answer on that either you know well then i just won't date you yeah uh vince is on the line what do you got vince uh y'all are fantastic uh caris casey diggy quite a bit uh gotta say i mean this is 20 years ago girlfriend i've been dating two years break up for three months all's fair right no big deal we get back together she slept with one person uh the first question i asked was did you blow up so i don't know what to say but it's just kind of the way it is it is I mean it's that much more

oh my bad I hung up on you man sorry if a girl fucks a dude it's like whatever that's gonna happen if you blow them it's like you whore I cannot believe you did that to me no yes we don't kink shame on this program

there's no slut shaming but there is reality we're talking about like significant others like yeah like that is only a natural reaction it ain't fair it ain't right i'm just saying that is a true real reaction yeah girls if you want the real fucking deal i'll tell you that's gonna be deep in your man's brain more so than sex like no doubt it's like you don't have to like it, but that is the truth. Dare I go this far and say, if I were to think about it, the last thing

that I want to think about is you blowing a dude. I can think about you getting absolutely railed. I'd be like, you know what, dude? Whatever. But if I picture you

blowing some dude, I'm like, this is not the mother of my children. It sucks. I'm taking my kids is not the mother of my children. It sucks. I'm taking my kids and we're leaving. This trash bag. That's right.

That's right. That's right, right? Yeah. That's right. I have nothing else to say. Yeah, I mean, like, what do you get out of that? It's like, at least if you're getting banged, like, you're getting pleasure out of that. You're just sucking this dude's dick and it's like, all right, you're just...

You have to really want... You want to please him. Yeah, I wish you guys saw his face there. Please him. You bring a girl home for Thanksgiving, Rocket. And it's like, oh yeah, that girl's blowing a bunch of guys. That ain't Thanksgiving material. No. You don't want to bring her

home to that. No. By the way, when we do these things, it's wild that your mom listens. Whatever. She needs to know this, too. It's wild that anybody is listening to that. She needs to know where I stand and what my criteria are. You want grandkids someday, Ellen? This is what the gauntlet that my future wife has to go through. I respect you so much for letting that concept fly, man.

I don't know if I could do it. You are the best. I think she knows. Like, I just... She does now, for sure. You think this is an act for radio? I preach this in the Carrabba's house on Christmas Eve.

I stand up on the table. I'm like, listen, if you're ever going to have grandkids, this is what your future daughter-in-law has to go through. She's got to check all these boxes. Jesus Christ. Oh, man.

I mean, what a Thanksgiving conversation this is. How is Thanksgiving? How does that go with the Carrabbas household? Is it a big deal? No.

I mean, Christmas Eve is like the big to-do with everyone coming together. Thanksgiving. What are you? What is Carrabbas? It's Italian.

Italian? Yeah. I guess I'm Carrabbas. I eat Carrabbas. So you do all the fucking seven fishes and that nonsense? No. No, we just do like some pasta. We do like the turkeyas. So you do all the fucking seven fishes and that nonsense? No. No, we just do like, we do like some pasta.

We do, we do like the turkey, but then we do like the raviolis and the meatballs. Oh, those are the guacamoles. The guacamoles, yeah. Yeah, we do all that shit. Thanksgiving is kind of low key. It's like me, my sister, my parents, my godparents, which is my dad's sister and her husband, and then their two kids. Huh?

Your aunt? Aunt. Aunt? I don't do aunt. Fine, but it's your dad's sister. My dad's sister. We don't need to go through the whole godparent thing. It's just your aunt. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

So it's just like them. That's it. And then afterwards, everyone goes outside and plays baseball. Like instead of football. We actually did used to do that. Yeah, we were a big wiffle ball family. Yeah, I'm going three different places oh man i'm going to boston and then on thanksgiving morning i'm flying to st louis to see my grandmother who i haven't seen in forever

i'll be there for like 18 hours and then i'm flying to ohio columbus ohio for the ohio state michigan game you are on your grind girl yeah we have the show from the Ohio State-Michigan game, which is at noon on Saturday, which means the show is live from a frat house at 10 a.m. Whoa, buddy. I'm just saying. You want to talk about people getting their dicks sucked into a frat house at 10 a.m.?

The Adderall is going to be flowing. Just saying. Man, that is a tall task right there. Holy shit. Yeah, but it'll be a good week. Pass. I guess a couple years ago, maybe last year. I mean, it might have been Christmas, Thanksgiving.

I'm not sure. I did my side. I did my wife's mom. Glennie! Oh, dang. Glennie, I'm going to give you this microphone. Did I talk out of turn? You like rubbing tugs, right?

I'm not going to say no. I've had a bad experience on my last one. I'm kind of done. I retired. Oh, what happened? Yeah, I've been to one twice. I've had a bad experience on my last one. I'm kind of done. I retired. Oh, what happened? Yeah, I was in, like, Flushing. Okay. I got, like, 4 a.m.

You know, my friends were out. And we went to one. It was probably, like, 3 or 4. Yeah. And you know where the Hall of Guys is, right? Yeah. So they give you little white sauce packets. Oh, no.

And earlier in the night, I paid the guys $20 for a full bag of white sauce. Oh, no. And I forgot it in the Rub-a-Tug. So I haven't been back since. That's not that bad of a story. That's not that bad of a story. I thought something was going to happen with's not that bad of a story. That's not something that can happen with the White Sox. It was just a very, very weird place in general.

There was like a whole car of guys right outside. You could see it on the security camera. There was like Hello Kitty wallpaper everywhere. They were playing the Frozen Let It Go song on repeat. It was a weird experience. That would be enough for me to sign off on it too. I've retired. Oh, wow.

Unless I'm north of the border in Montreal. Then it's all bets are off. All right. Breaking news. Glennie Balls has retired from getting his dick jerked off at massage parlors. That's like one of the first times I ever talked to Glennie was when he was in Montreal. And I messaged him on Snapchat to be like, oh, you got to go to. I forget what the name of it was, but there was like an all contact strip club up in Montreal.

Tampa and Montreal. Anything goes. Yeah, that's right. That for. Tampa and Montreal, anything goes, man. That's right. You want to talk about rules, what's allowed, what's a hookup? That was the second time that I realized that Adderall makes my dick completely inactive. It was like a full

contact strip club in Montreal and I was like, this thing isn't doing nothing, which is probably like, listen, girl, you're, you're great. Your dance moves are awesome.

You're beautiful. It ain't your fault. You're doing great, sweetie. I'm on, I'm on, I'm on that Adderall right now. So it ain't going to happen.

Yeah. And then the other time was after the KFC radio show, which sucks. I mean, yeah, you know, that was, that was the first time I ever took Adderall was after the after party.

It was because that was an event because you did two shows. Yeah. So the Friday show, Friday show was an awesome time. Killed it at the after party.

Had a great time. It was like making out with some chick in a car. People like walking by and I was like, dude, people could be just like

sticking a camera in the window right now and just getting video of this happening. They probably were. Probably were. Yeah. It's a great first night.

And then the second night I was beat. So I was like, I need something. Yeah. So someone gave me an Adderall and Dick didn't work that night. I mean, that's the price you pay. You know, you sell your soul for another night of partying. Whatever. That was a scene, man.

Couch by couch. That was awesome. I remember Riggs showed up. Riggs was like pulling girls left and right. I remember being like, what? What? You guys are all the ones hooking up? This is crazy.

Feist went home with his friends. I went home to the hotel. I was just like, but Riggs is banging people? Losers. Yeah, we were the biggest losers there. And we, I mean, we just cleaned the house. You're welcome. Yeah, thank you.

Let's take a break. When we come back, 833-85-STOOL. Call us up. More Thanksgiving talk after the break. Because I didn't mean to hurt him. Could have been somebody's son. And I took his heart with me. I pulled out that. All right, we're back.

This is the last episode of the week. Sirius is off. So shout out to those guys. Happy Thanksgiving to them. They're the ones who make all this happen. I forget that sometimes. I'm just like, why is this on the air all the time? Well, it takes like humans to make sure it actually goes out there.

True. Love you, Sirius. What's that? Love you, Sirius. Yeah, absolutely. Big shout out to Sirius. So I'm sure, Mikey, they're doing what? Best ofs and reruns and whatnot?

Yeah, there's a full schedule available. Yeah, so you'll still be able to listen. We can have a best of running in our spot. Like podcasts. We can have a best of for in our spot. Like podcasts. We can have a best of for a show that's been around for six days. There's just so much good stuff. When you're as good as us, every episode is a best of. I mean, ten hours last week

was a best of. True. I mean, like this show today has been awesome for like a mail it in type day for America. That's when we shine, baby. That's right. That's when we shine. Yeah, clock helicopters. So we talked a little football earlier, which is my girl Casey's forte. So I figured it's only right here on our holiday to give Jared some baseball time. Yeah.

I'd like to talk some, too, if you don't mind. Wow, I'd love for you to do that. James Paxton. Yeah. 31 years old, 3 1⁄2 ERA. 30. Turning 31 this season. I think he just turned 30, like last week.

Oh, I was under the impression. Fine. Third. His birthday's November 6th. 3 1⁄2, 3 6 ERA, whatever. You're a fucking loser. Loser. Fine. Third. His birthday is November 6th. Three and a half, three six ERA, whatever. You're a fucking loser. Loser. Good pitcher.

He's good. Yeah. Meh. He's... Meh. Like, eh. I mean, you know, they didn't go get a Cy Young contender. No.

I think he threw like 161 in the third innings this year, which is not, I mean, like Cy Young Award winners. I don't even think that doesn't qualify. No, yeah. That's two-thirds of an inning to qualify for an ERA title. You better be talking like 200. Have to be. And, you know, like 30 is not old, but it's not young.

No, it's not young at all. For, you know, you're getting somebody who's all right. He's good. I feel like, you know, if you sign a free agent pitcher pitcher i would say the average age of a pitcher once they get to free agency is roughly 30 so think of it as like signing paxton to a two-year deal which when you think of it like that that's not yeah yeah by no means knocking it and i am one of these people who forever have thought brian cashman's fucking incredible. And my entire childhood, I watched Yankee fans constantly put him down, constantly belittle everything he did.

And I'm sitting across town going, I'll fucking take the playoffs 95 years in a row. So I am always on board with Cashman, and I feel like he always makes something out of nothing. And I feel like if he makes a move, he's one of those guys that it's like, well, it's probably more often than not going to work out. So I bet you that Paxton is good and it'll be fine. But I am stunned after how much I heard about the mighty Justice Sheffield that this was the haul, a 30-year-old pitcher who's pretty good. Not to brag, but when I was sitting directly behind home plate in the first row,

Sheffield was pitching, and that motherfucker threw like three fastballs to the screen. He was like aiming for my face. I was watching him be like, this guy stinks. Yeah, well, that's the thing. And I know that fans are often very misinformed or incorrect or hype up prospects no more

so than the Mets fans. I mean, Last Things Village and Fernando Martinez and Carlos Gomez and Alex Escobar and Generation K and all the I mean the list goes on and on and on we're the most guilty of it all but I just was stunned that the haul back for this dude you know I used to hear his name with all of the other like ultra elite prospects in baseball when is justice coming and he's not. I wonder how much of that I've only ever heard his name before he made his major league debut through Hubs. But Hubs is one of those guys

where... Well, he immediately is like, well, Pax is great. Of course. So see you later. But Hubs is one of those guys where if a player acknowledges him, then they're the best. Well, so are you. I mean, you're the same way, Jared. My best friend almost won the fucking Triple Crown. So when I Yeah. Like he, I think like. Well, so are you. Yeah. I mean, you're the same way, Jared. I mean, my best friend almost won the fucking triple crown.

So like when I talk about a guy, it's like, eh, yeah, yeah, we're friends. I mean, he's also the best hitter in baseball. I mean, you went through some dark times with David Price and hey, he ended up rewarding your loyalty. Yeah. My friends are actually good at baseball. You just pick your friends wisely. Yeah.

Yeah. I mean, there's a reason why I'm not friends with Pablo Sandoval. Nobody is more guilty of that than the foreplay boys. If a golfer acknowledges Riggs, he can murder his family. He'd be like, well, Bryson Duchamp, well, you know, he talked to us that one time. Kevin Kisner is badass, though. Have you ever talked to Kevin Kisner? I haven't, but I know I've seen his antics.

He loves to just get shit-faced. He's a good time, good Southern boy. So I stand behind that one. Yeah. I mean, like, even the friends that I have that aren't on the Red Sox. Like, oh, yeah, my friend Christian Jelic, National League MVP. Maybe you've heard of that award. Oh, we got to get that motherfucker on here.

Jelic. After the holidays. Yeah, call up. Yeah. He already said it. He said he'd come on. He's just got to do his shit. That's why.

Get out of your system. That's one of the best things about Barstool is like you get these athletes there when they do their media tours. They're saying all the same shit. And then they come here. So you could be last on the list. And it's like, we still get better than the first for sure. So we'll talk to him and, you know, we'll see what happens with Paxton. Like I said, I do believe in in chef in in Cashman.

I think the past few years, once he regrouped with some homegrown people, people started to give him credit again. For the longest time, every single offseason, Cashman was on the chopping block, according to the fans. Well, there it is. Every call or everything, of course. And everyone's like, oh, you're generalizing. I'm like, well, generally, you people are fucking idiot Goomba annoying assholes. Correct. Generally speaking.

But that's what makes radio callers so fun. I know, they're the best. But with Paxton, it's like he's on a contract for the next two years in their arbitration years. It's a savvy pickup. He'll get paid, but he won't get monster money. So now the Yankees have Severino, Paxton, and then they still have the financial flexibility to go get like Corbin.

You ain't be in the Red Sox. I mean, nobody's be in the Red Sox. I mean, nobody's been the Red Sox. What do you think before, Jared? For you guys? No, I mean, I actually am. No, I actually am. Because I think like I love doing the yak. I love working with Dan.

But it was always. No, we saw the sob story. Yeah, like it was. But it was a blowjob. It was always it was always going to be Dan's show. I knew that he knew that. So now, like, I'm very thankful for the opportunity to be on a show. I knew that. He knew that. So now I'm very thankful for the opportunity to be on a show where it's like,

oh, I can spread my wings. I can spread my wings. That's fair. I'm going to die tonight. Casey? I mean, I was going to say for this radio show and the fact that I can sit here and drink beer with you fine gentlemen and say fuck a bunch of times. Yeah, that's always a good thing. It is a good thing.

Well, I'll make it three for three. Aw, Kevin. Aw. Well, I used to work with Dave Portnoy and needed to stop doing that. Yeah, that's true. I used to work till 6 p.m., needed to stop doing that. And it's a lot more fun and relaxing and easy to do here at one to three. We don't, we'll never run out of something to talk about.

We got a good, good reaction so far. Yeah. I haven't heard anybody. Maybe we'll call them the Rockettes. Oh, yeah. I really do think that we need to get these beers like all the time, all the time with our faces on them or something. Yo, uh, Rocket Beer sponsored the show.

Wormtown Brewery. Open up that checkbook, brah. Cut the check. Get the budget going. Are you staying in New York for Thanksgiving? I will be here. Yep. All right.

I'll be around local, so we'll see you guys. Parades. We should have talked about parades. We'll talk about parades on Monday. Yeah. All right, have a good Thanksgiving. Check the office up next. See you guys on Monday.

I'm going to die tonight.